Sample smart goal setting mba

90 Days Goal

2010.08.11 21:48 fromITroom 90 Days Goal

We're changing our lives... 90 days at a time!
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2011.09.23 05:29 binary_jester The fun side of MFP

This community is geared to discussions about the MyFitnessPal (MFP for short) platform, including the app for Android and iOS and website. # DISCLAIMER We are not healthcare professionals and you should speak with your healthcare team about nutrition and exercise goals and concerns. What we can try to offer here is assistance with how the MFP platform can be used, in support of your goals.
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2023.07.17 23:59 mjolnir9 RoBody_Help

Welcome to the Ro Body Program help subreddit! This sub is monitored daily with the goal of helping members get issues resolved promptly. Whether you need help setting up your smart scale or are wondering what the status of your prescription is – we’re here to help. Feel free to post your questions directly or reach out to our moderator- u/AliceFromRo. If you’re looking to connect with other members + get helpful tips and updates, visit our other RoBody.
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2024.05.16 02:30 Ok_Net8721 Thanks guys

About a year ago, I posted in the chat about a slow decend into madness aka binge eating. Around that time and little after that post I broke a promise I made to myself. That promise was to never hit 200lbs again.
Some backstory:
I have been big my entire life and the heaviest I ever weighed was 230lbs. (FEMALE; 5'3) I eventually lost about 50 pounds with me hitting a low of 182 and maintaining that weight for roughly a year and half. But eventually I started bingeing again and it was truly a decent into madness. With every meal I could see the portion sizes getting better, I started craving more and more carbs and sweets. I would be so 'hungry' that I needed to eat and after stuffing my face with anything possible... The guilt and regret would set in. I eventually broke my promise and hit 210 pounds
I'm happy to say that because of the comments on my post and the different post made here and all y'all who readily share what 'hacks' and knowledge y'all have. It helped me slowly over come the urge to binge
Today I stepped on the scale and I weighed 188. I've lost 20 pounds, it might not be the most I could of lost in a year but I have taken control of my bingeing.
And now I've remade my promise to myself to never ever go above 200lbs ever again. I've also promised myself to continue losing weight with my goal at the end of the year to be 160lbs
I'll definitely keep y'all updated
submitted by Ok_Net8721 to loseit [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 02:29 Due-Bonus-1764 Did we mess up pacifier weaning?

I feel like a jerk. My 19 mo old has loved his paci from the beginning. It took him a while to keep it in overnight but we turned into the parents who left like 5 pacis in his bed as soon as he could find them and pop them back in. We always talked about trying the Paci Fairy or a paci-in-a-Build-a-Bear when he turns 2, we still have some time.
Fast forward to last Saturday. I've been seeing a bunch of good things about the Frida weaning kit and it was on sale at the store so I figured, why not? If it works in a week that's great! He's gotten more reliant on it recently (he almost exclusively uses it for nap and bedtime but when he's teething he's also been wanting it) so I've been starting to dread the 2 year weaning goal we originally set thinking he'd be even more hooked by then.
First day sucked. He hasn't woken overnight since about 10 months old and he woke up a few times needing comfort, which I expected. Each day has gotten progressively worse and I've been feeling horrible for taking away his comfort object in place of a less enjoyable, weird pacifier. Now on day 6, after 3 hours of my normally suspiciously-happy toddler losing it over every minor inconvenience (which I get it, things have changed, I think he has another tooth coming in, he has lots of emotions, I comforted him through it but it's still not like him) I finally checked the Frida box and it specifically says "For weaning from orthodontic nipple only"... He's been using the kind that they have a picture with a red cross through it. He's not been using an orthodontic nipple at all, ever.
Did we just put him through almost a week of pointless frustration because that kit is specifically made for weaning from a different nipple? Should we keep trying the kit or cave and go back to the original 2 year goal? Has anyone else done this?
submitted by Due-Bonus-1764 to Mommit [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 02:27 Coal5law [WOD][Online] WtA 20th Game Seeking One Garou

Hello again everyone! I'm sorry for what seems like a repost, but I assure you this one is different! One of our players had a game switch dates and decided to leave mine since my last post, so I'm looking for another Garou character to join in my Rage Across The Bay game! Here's the info:
Looking for: Werewolf, Theurge of Any Tribe!
System: Werewolf the Apocalypse, 20th Anniversary
Setting: The California Bay area, *San Jose* and surrounding areas.
Game Goals: An epic, long-term game running characters from Rank 1 all the way through the Apocalypse.
Play Style: Live Play-by-Post; *Chat Style* with Supplemental Asynchronous Play
Times: Tuesdays, 4pm to 10pm (or later) PST, Every Other Saturday, 4pm Onward, PST
About You: Be an excited and active player that can make it during the times for the game. I are seeking a "perfect pack" with all auspices, so we are seeking specific auspices to fill those roles - so please be willing to join as that auspice. You may play any base tribe.
How To Join: Contact me through DM.
submitted by Coal5law to lfg [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 02:26 Excompulsive_gambler 105. Checked. What a ride.

If i was to describe how far i’ve changed so far it won’t be anywhere close to the reality, i don’t have words to describe how much change have been made in my life. It didn’t even change, It re-started 105 days ago actually. After more than a decade orbiting through misery and gambling.
I can’t but encourage whoever doesn’t have the courage yet, and for years i was there, for whoever haven’t been able to do it completely, to commit 100% and never look back.
To be clear I’m describing with lot of enthousiasm but I’m not anywhere close to have experienced true happiness. My mind is still insidiously corrupted and chemicals in my brain haven’t yet returned to normal, i know happiness and relief is what i’ll find if i go gamble now, but the price for it is above what i’m willing to pay. Not talking about money.
My main motivation not to gamble is for preventing, gambling free, i avoid harm for myself and those surrounding me.
The second reason is that i’ve chosen freedom and peace of mind, those are impossible to achieve as a gambler.
Short experience so far yes but i’ve gathered some great infos for anyone who wants to quit.
1-barriers, set up as many as possible for as long as needed. Choose them alone and carefully, we all different, if you decide not to gamble have a strong setup that helps you. Use any tool in your knowledge to achieve your goal. Twice i’d have relapsed if i havn’t had strong barriers.
2-low dopamine activities, trick your mind to them, 5min meditation, 10min reading a book, don’t think and start cleaning your house, generally once you tricked your brain through the first steps/minutes you may not want to stop. (Possible to use in many areas of life)
3-do GA meetings, i recommand 2/3 per weeks, i found a great benefit/involvment balance that way, i stop myself for more, i need to live the pain to recover mostly by myself, nothing can rewire my brain other than this way.
4-exercice, yes. Too many benefits to describe.
5-deepen your knowledge. Search about addiction while off. It helps your recovery to gather knowledge about the disease not only as it helps to fight an ennemy you know, but mostly you’ll have mercy for yourself the more you learn how badly this desease impacts your inner core.
submitted by Excompulsive_gambler to problemgambling [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 02:26 ac_marshy I made this pixel-art crest for my Roadwarden-inspired guild in a roleplaying game.

I made this pixel-art crest for my Roadwarden-inspired guild in a roleplaying game.
https://preview.redd.it/zuem1aoino0d1.png?width=256&format=png&auto=webp&s=24559e96c3c8b801df1f38d5f16bf9388d587946
In a roleplaying server on a certain block game, I decided I wanted to play a character inspired by Roadwarden. He's not precisely my protagonist from the game, but he is from that world and he was formerly a roadwarden for one of the Ten Cities. I also make his decisions very similarly to how I did in the original game -- as a kind of benevolent meddler, whose secret goal is helping people. When my friends decided to join me, we thought it would be fun if our characters had shared backgrounds. We took a lot of liberties and filled in the blanks between what we remembered from the game and could easily find on the wikis. One thing led to another, and soon we had formed the Guild of Roadwardens.
Individually, we fill various roles (hunter, tinker, alchemist, smith, farmer, tailor, etc.) and all enjoy different tasks. But together as a Guild, we do all the things roadwardens do, according to our interpretation of the role. We're couriers, caravan guards, scouts, explorers, gofers, detectives, and builders/maintainers of infrastructure. We make a lot of connections with other factions, and though we abstain from the wars of the setting, we have a lot of soft power that we've tried to use to maintain peace. It's been a real blast getting to re-experience that kind of roleplaying on a grand, multiplayer scale. Next time you make a character for roleplaying, consider making a Roadwarden.
Anyways, here's our crest. Aside from the teal sand inside, I tried to mostly use the original game's color palette. The teal sand has significance to the block game we're roleplaying in.
submitted by ac_marshy to Roadwarden [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 02:19 redarenachron Advice Needed: Career Path after BCom Degree in Hyderabad

21m currently in my final year of BCom from a mid-tier college affiliated with Osmania University. I'm considering my next steps post-graduation and would appreciate some guidance.
My ultimate goal is to build a career, potentially retire early, or settle abroad while continuing to earn.
My budget for further studies that I can manage is 6L
Thing is my parents want me to do an MBA from a college [probably mid-tier as budget constraints] in Hyderabad and don't want me to take up a job right after graduation, I don't know if getting an MBA from a mid college will be worth it.
I can opt for any professional degree like CFA as I am interested in finance a little although I don't want to study much, what I want to know is what are my options and what can I do now.
Also I don't mind working and eventually settling in any Gulf country.
Will be grateful for any advice I receive.
submitted by redarenachron to careeradvice [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 02:17 Gokuja21 Beeping from hard drive? (audio)

TL;DR: PC beeps when idle once every 4 seconds and shuts off after a few minutes
Beep Audio
After 6 months of having this PC running completely fine, I wake up this morning to find that my computer had restarted. I logged in, and after a minute or so of my pc being idle or opening file explorer, I hear a beep coming from my PC, presumably the HDD...
I hadn't changed any important settings, never messed with registry files, never dropped the HDD, in fact, the main issues I had was my games locking up at random, black screening, and high temps, and all of that has been fixed for months, I tried literally everything I could, system restore doesnt work, already did chkdsk, crystaldisk says its in good health.
A number of issues have actually been happening as of late. Some games take long as balls to load in or start up, (this used to not be the case), Audio from monitor is quieter than usual.
Specs: XFX RX 580 8GB (undervolted using MSIA)
2 x 16GB RAM 3200mhz (using 3200 xmp)
Ryzen 5 3600 3.6ghz (using Ryzen - High)
Thermaltake SMART 600W (actually 500)
WD BLUE 7200 2TB HDD
50$ Deepcool case... bruh
b550m Pro-VDH WIFI
Idle CPU temp: 42c - 45c Load CPU temp: 61c - 72c
Idle GPU temp: 28c - 30c Load GPU temp: 45c - 62c (repasted GPU)
(ikr an RX 580?!)
ALSO - I am currently aware of the current issues this build has and I will address them...
  1. Thermaltake PSUs are garbage i had no idea at the time and the "600w" is actually a 500w because of how its constructed and thermaltake is just not reliable.
  2. I undervolted my GPU because of how bad my PSU currently is (it crashes under load otherwise).
  3. Getting a hard drive in 2024...
  4. Using Ryzen High Perf. power plan (fixed an issue that causes things to freeze under load, requiring restart)
  5. Accidentally installed windows on CSM instead of UEFI
could it be the SATA cable??
submitted by Gokuja21 to buildapc [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 02:15 leghairdontcare59 Update to execs wanting engineers to broadcast failures

My previous post gained some traction yesterday: https://www.reddit.com/cscareerquestions/s/w3ezngNQtq so I wanted to share an update to it as I had the meeting today. The CFO mentioned he wants the engineer who makes a mistake to say “hey here’s what I did wrong, here’s how we can avoid this, etc etc” and wants it to be a learning opportunity. But then he started mentioning that the execs have no insight on who the top performing engineers are and who the weakest players are, and that talking about the failures may give them insight on who keeps making mistakes and why they are making mistakes. I told them a description of our failures, like a post mortem (thanks for that tidbit, redditors) should be blameless and be about lessons learned, and not serve the purpose of who’s not pulling their weight. And he said both can be true. And then he went on about our engineering team’s attrition and how no one ever quits or gets fired. And he worries that it may be a sign of a bigger problem, that we are not being monitored enough to see if we are pulling our weight.
The CEO said he spoke to other mid size tech companies about their tech team, tech structure, etc and was interested in hearing that some companies use a “point system” to track performance for engineers. I told him that is scrum, which we do not practice here, and the points is just one piece of it. I also told him the last company I worked at that tried to use a point system caused a lot of anxiety and stress on the engineers because all we have is an imaginary number that our company uses to try to quantify the work we do. He said their sales team and other departments have measurable numbers to show performance and he feels like it is not fair to them that the engineers do not. We do have quarterly and annual tech goals we try to reach and we almost always reach them so that should be used to track our performance. It was a little back of forth and he said nothing is set in stone, he is just sharing what he’s heard.
It ended with them saying now that the CTO is gone, they just want to “get to know us better” since our CTO kept us isolated from the rest of the company and wants to see ways we can improve our team.
The whole thing felt very odd and I don’t know what to make of it. My gut tells me to be prepared to leave, but the market is shit so I may be stuck here.
submitted by leghairdontcare59 to cscareerquestions [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 02:15 redarenachron Advice Needed: Career Path after BCom Degree in Hyderabad, India

21m currently in my final year of BCom from a mid-tier college affiliated with Osmania University. I'm considering my next steps post-graduation and would appreciate some guidance.
My ultimate goal is to build a career, potentially retire early, or settle abroad while continuing to earn.
My budget for further studies that I can manage is 6L
Thing is my parents want me to do an MBA from a college [probably mid-tier as budget constraints] in Hyderabad and don't want me to take up a job right after graduation, I don't know if getting an MBA from a mid college will be worth it.
I can opt for any professional degree like CFA as I am interested in finance a little although I don't want to study much, what I want to know is what are my options and what can I do now.
Also I don't mind working and eventually settling in any Gulf country.
Will be grateful for any advice I receive.
submitted by redarenachron to Advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 02:12 sheriffderek Massive Skill Gap: Are Coding Bootcamps and New Developers Missing the Mark? A recent chat with DonTheDeveloper.

A few weeks ago, someone posted a link to one of Don’s rants and I went through and commented on each of the points. I can't find that post, but I had copied it over here: https://www.reddit.com/perpetualeducation/comments/1c7k9re/donthedeveloper_on_a_rant_about_how_aspiring/
We had a chat about it. Here’s the video/podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHmqZkC3LqU&lc
Don titled it: There's a MASSIVE Skill Gap Among New Developers
I'll attempt to write a bit about that - (even though we went over many other topics - and I'm having a hard time grouping them)
It’s easy to simplify this into “the market” or “the boot camp” or “the tech stack” or "what's fair" or "the resume" - but I think people are missing the various multidimensional aspects at play. Is it:
Is it all of those things - and more? (Yes). And it's "the student" too." We're all different (cue reading rainbow moment). But it's true. Some of us are slower. Some of us are faster but miss the details. Some of us have a background that alignes neatly with tech. Some of us already know what job we want and why - and other people just want to make a good bet on a stable career. No matter what zone you're in, we still have to face the music - and deal with (trigger alert) - the truth.
The market is real. Companies aren't aggressively hireing random barely capable developers right now (like they have in the past). They're scared and holding on to their money. They also kinda realized they were spending more money on middle management and probably developers too - and are going to need some time to figure out how to make profitable businesses (or how to keep getting more VC funding to burn through).
But if there's a huge gap between your skills/experience and what it takes to do the job you're applying for, none of the other factors matter.
Many people choose a coding boot camp based on superficial factors like the price, the timeline, the website design, and the sales pitch. They often don't consider other important aspects because they simply don't know better. This isn’t unlike any other product or service or school.
Some people pick out a boot camp and learn a bunch of awesome stuff and they go out there and start a new career and for some reason, they don’t come back to Reddit to tell us about it. There are some legit colleges and boot camps and other alternative learning paths out there - that are really great. It's just a fact.
If you read the bootcamp marketing, paid your tuition, went through the steps they lined out, and came out the other end unable to get that job they promised you, well - that’s awkward. Maybe for you, it’s that simple. If you feel like you got a raw deal, I’m sorry. There are some businesses that should be ashamed of themselves - but they won't be. All you can do is warn other people. That’s over now. We can only work with the present.
For people who really want to work in this industry - they'll keep moving forward: at the end of the day, this is the playing field. So, if you want to get off the bench, we’re going to have to design a path to that – and you might need to rethink some of your assumptions.
It could certainly be said that new developers are now expected to know about–and have experience with–a lot more things.
Are the expectations that someone brand new to development is going to be able to get a job unreasonable? Well, does it matter what someone’s opinion about that is? You either want the job - or you don’t. And you need to know how to do the job, or no one will hire you. Do you need to know everything on this huge list to get an entry level position https://roadmap.sh/javascript ? (no) (in fact - close that - and don’t ever look at it again)
When I started (at the age of ~30) (in ~2011), you needed to know HTML, CSS, (Probably some PhotoShop to get your assets), maybe a little PHP (and likely HTTP and more about URLs and request types and forms), FTP and DNS to get your site hosted, and maybe some JavaScript. You might have used jQuery to help out or Knockout.js. And you had to know how to hook up a database and MySQL and probably a CMS or some sort. And maybe your code was a mess or maybe it adhered to some common patterns. But that was life. Not everyone needed to know all those things. Some people would focus more on getting the mockup into the HTML and CSS. Other people might focus on the server and the PHP or Perl or Java. There were all sorts of jobs and some of them were done by people with a formal education in Computer Science studies and other people just figured it out as needed. There was a lot of work to be done. Lots of custom stuff to build and maintain. And it was just normal to learn more incrementally as the years went by. You could totally get a job knowing just HTML and CSS (and you still can BTW). There was still an infinite amount of things you could know. But it seemed to ramp up naturally because we were closer to the grain of The Web.
So, what do people learn now? (Generally) They rush through some HTML and CSS really quick (which actually teaches them more bad habits than good). They rarely learn about DNS or FTP because a tutorial showed them how to type a few random things into a terminal to have their site on a free service and they don’t buy a domain name because there’s a free subdomain. Apparently paying for anything is for suckers and companies that don't give you things for free are evil capitalistic pigs who should be shut down. New devs don’t know much about servers because their text editor is actually running an advanced web application behind the scenes that starts a virtual server and runs all sorts of other things they don’t understand outside of that context - like connecting to version control, opening a terminal pane, SSH, code completion and typeahead, autoimport completion, AI suggestions and other additional layers like typescript and many other linters to tell them where all their errors are. If they couldn't use VSCode - they might be dead in the water. It can feel like you’re just a bag of meat being yelled at by VSCode as you try and solve the errors and remove all the red lines. And we do all of these - to put the training wheels in place.
And I’m not saying that a LAMP stack doesn’t have it’s own level of black-box and mysteries with how Apache handles your HTTP requests and MySQL starts up it’s own server - but we have to be comfortable with some level of abstraction or we’d be writing all ones and zeros at the machine code level.
So, the new developer is manning this huge stack of tools unknowingly, but they do get a lot of benefits. We can spin up a pretty complex web application with a front-end to make requests, a server to talk to a database and other third-party systems and respond back to the client/front-end, and an auth layer to make sure people are properly signing in and only seeing what they need to see. There are abstractions for HTML and CSS and JS that put that template logic and controller logic into a neat little component file (which is great) and that component file is properly registered based on file name conventions and everything gets set up in this larger system of conventions that all happen behind the scenes in the framework architecture. So, as a new developer - you can really ride the framework and know hardly anything about how it works - as long as you know the language to speak to this layer of the abstraction (the API).
These aren't just arbitrary add-ons that people made to complicate things. They solve real-world problems. The new dev won't really understand what they are - but I'm not saying we should just get rid of them. They allow us to move faster and to build interfaces and business logic without having to write tons of behind the scenes repeated structural code by hand. And with those training wheels, we have more time on our hands. We can also add in the chance to further define our programs with safety measures and plan automated testing routines, and built-in documentation of our code base. We can keep adding layers and layers or pull in more and more third-party tools. It’s pretty amazing. But what people end up learning is how to maintain that configuration - and there’s only so much time - and so, they end up learning 10% of all the things you used to need/want to know. And some jobs have a path for that. But there's likely going to be a long-term cost for you.
Arguably - it doesn’t matter how much “code” you know - and making things is what matters. And that’s true. That’s what matters to the business that pays you. And to the school that wants you to feel good about your progress. But I think you should protect your learning journey. It’s for you. It’s going to be what you carry on throughout the years and it’s a seed.
Getting proficient with a popular tech stack - when the market is booming proved to be a great decision for boot camps and their students. And I'd bet that the majority of people mean well.
But when it's not booming, students are in it for the wrong reasons, schools have tightened up and moved online, the market has plenty of devs who already have 5+ years working with that framework/stack -- then all of the sudden - the surface-level fake-it-till-you-make-it path (as much as I respect that) doesn't work as well. You're going to have to put in some more energy.
When it's obvious that you can't build an HTML page with semantic markup, that's accessible, and has a universally pleasurable experience, and you can't write CSS without a UI framework or do anything custom, it's obvious. You should be aware of that gap. When you've never owned a domain name or setup a deployment pipeline, you should be aware of that gap. When your personal website looks like your boot camp gave it to you, you should be aware of how that looks. When you can't take a server-side scripting language like Python or Go or PHP and build out a little personal website framework - you should be aware of that gap. When you can't plan a project and don't have experience with diagrams and explaining things, you need to be aware of that gap. When you've never written about your process or created any case-studies to explain your projects, you should be aware of that gap. When you're only proof of work is the class assignments, you should be aware of that gap. When your github history goes dead after the last day of class, you should be aware that we'll see that. When you claim to no nothing about visual design and that's for someone else on the team - you should be aware of that gap. If you refuse to turn on your camera and just want to be left alone, you should be aware of that huge gap. If you can't build a little prototype app without React, they you probably don't JavaScript, and you should be aware of that gap. And there will ALWAYS be a gap. There's always more to learn. So - it's an important skill to know what to learn and why - and when. You can't learn everything. And if you're having a hard time finding work right now, then get clear on your goal. Stop applying for general "Software engineer" jobs you aren't ready for. Narrow your scope. Figure out a job that you think you can do confidently. Get clear on how big your gap is and what you need to learn to get centered and confident with your toolset. Ideally, it's fun. Try and ignore all the doom and gloom and focus on your own personal goal.
It's not just the market. Too many people are applying for jobs they aren't anywhere near qualified to do. And it probably doesn't feel good. But luckily - you can learn the things and get back on track.
submitted by sheriffderek to codingbootcamp [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 02:08 elbowe21 Help with Music Assistant

Hello
I'm trying to set up music assistant to play to my TV. Specifically YouTube music.
My main speakers are connected to my TV via an smsl ad18, just a simple amp (Bluetooth and analog). It's a basic smart Samsung, not one of the fully featured high end ones.
Has anyone succeeded in this? Has the TV been a limit factor to how much automation you could do?
It seems all it can do is change source and raise volume on the tv.
submitted by elbowe21 to homeassistant [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 02:08 Figuarus [OT] The Things We Left Behind.

This is the first time I have written something of this length, and is more of an exercise in self-therapy than anything else. Disclaimer: This story contains conversations about child abuse. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy it.
Nathan’s number appeared on my phone screen. I debated whether or not to answer it. We hadn’t been on speaking terms for a while, and while we did keep in touch sporadically, it was usually because of important family issues. I didn’t know of anything happening with mom or dad, nor with Talia or Rio, so I let it go to voicemail. I could always call him back later. I placed the phone back in my pocket, and returned to cleaning my camera. The phone buzzed again. A text message came through. I read the preview line from the home screen. “The city declared eminent domain on the house” I unlocked my phone, read the full text message, and dialed my brother.
I wasn't able to get any closer to the house than a few blocks. Most of the area was blocked off with chain link fencing and construction equipment in preparation for the demolition that was supposed to take place within the coming days. The barriers didn’t prevent people from walking in to the neighborhood, but it hindered scrappers from coming in and stripping the houses of copper wiring and plumbing.
I grabbed my camera bag out of the trunk of my car along with my tripod. I shouldered it and hooked the tripod to my bag. I pulled my water bottle out of the center console and shut the door. I stood next to my car surveying the neighborhood. 12 city blocks of old single family homes comprised the neighborhood where I grew up. Some of the houses had been empty for months, others for years. There was an eerie silence that permeated the still air. I could not hear the familiar sounds of people, pets, or cars. I locked the car and put my keys in my pocket. I patted my jacket down to ensure I had what I needed. After a quick check, I started my walk.
The sidewalk of the old neighborhood streets still bore the familiar cracks and grind marks from years of buckling and remedy. Leaves dropped by the trees still lay scattered all along the pathways and sidewalk. Korina’s house was the first house I encountered as I made my way through a gap in the fence. The yard was overgrown with tall grass and thistle. I could see the faded blue paint of the old house contrasting the green and browns of the lawn. The chain link fence that marked off the corner property was nearly invisible through the thick brush. As I continued walking west towards 110th, I started to feel something was off. The streets seemed wider than I remembered. It took me longer than I’d like to admit, but eventually I realized what was different. There were no cars.
The streets here typically had cars lined bumper to bumper in any spot available, and were visible from block to block. The absence of all these vehicles made me realize just how deserted the neighborhood really was. House after house, yard after yard, the telltale signs of desertion reinforced what I could see from the moment I passed the construction fence: This was no longer my neighborhood. There were no signs of life, and no one I could expect to find still here. Abandonment was the new normal here. I continued on, glancing at houses and recalling memories of summer bike rides, and daily walks with dogs I used to have. I remembered walks home from school, and chasing after ice cream trucks when they passed our houses. I smiled a bit as I remembered more and more of my years spent here. I don’t quite know just why I was smiling. There were plenty of bad memories here too. Fights, yelling, being beat up, being robbed. I could remember failed friendships, lost loves, and bitter feelings of failures too.
Still, I felt a certain amount of nostalgia despite the weight of these negative feelings. I almost wanted to experience everything again, although I wasn't sure why I was feeling this way. Concrete, asphalt, billboards and liquor stores were the normal vistas of everyday life. Occasionally, after a good rainstorm, the grey haze of smog would lift, and the mountains would be visible to the north. At least, they would be visible until mid-morning when the exhaust from a million cars covered them behind a veil of pollution.
It wasn’t until the first time I travelled out of the city that I realized there was more to see. Traveling up the coast north along the Pacific Coast Highway introduced me to scenes of deep blue ocean water spanning the width of my vision. Driving up Highway 3 introduced me to the permeating scent of Pine and Fir trees. The two-lane stretch of highway from Portland to Tillamook introduced me to lush green forests that I had only ever read about. When I came home to the same old dirty, dusty concrete and boiling summer asphalt, I had made up my mind. I would do everything it took to leave this place. I would not spend another day longer than was necessary living in cramped quarters and fighting for parking space.
I arrived to the house, and paused at the gate. The house sat in contrast of what the rest of the neighborhood looked like. Instead of overgrown grass and tall weeds all over the place, the landscaping showed signs of relatively recent work. The guava tree in the front lawn still had some fruit ready to be picked, and the avocado tree on the other side of the pathway was still weighed down by its own fruit. Flowers still bloomed in the raised bed in front of the house. My brother had clearly tried to keep up on things until the last possible moment. The house, too, looked better than what I expected after walking up 4 blocks and seeing nothing but dilapidated houses and unkempt yards. I opened the gate and walked up to the small porch. The metal gate that enclosed it was gone having been removed by my brother when he took over the property. It looked nice to see it open instead of the cage it once felt like.
I turned the knob on the door, but it didn't give. Ever a creature of habit, my brother had locked the door when he left. Of course, he did. I sighed and prepared to find another way in when I remembered my parents hiding a spare key. I wasn’t sure if it would still be there, but after running my hands along the back side of the gutter downspout, I was rewarded for my efforts. I unlocked the front door and stepped into the front living room, the sounds of my footsteps and the closing door echoing in the empty space. The room felt both larger and smaller than I remembered it. I suppose it was lack of furniture that made it feel larger, but it still felt smaller than I remember. The result of growing taller throughout the years I suppose. I slowly walked along the slate tile floor towards the central hallway that connected the front of the house to the back bedrooms. I wasn't entirely sure that just because the front door was locked, that there wasn't some squatter looking for a little temporary shelter within the back rooms. I carefully and silently crept step by step towards what used to be the bedroom shared by my sister and me. I stuck my head in and gave the room a cursory glance. It was empty, thankfully. I moved back into the hallway and peered into the bedroom across the hall. This is where both of my brothers had shared a room. It too, was empty save for a few boxes holding hardware and doorknobs from the closet doors of the bedroom. I walked back towards the back of the house where my parent's bedroom was. The walls in the hallway bore the dusty signs where picture once hung. The bedroom door was open. I stepped inside, and looked around. The old avocado paint that my mom had picked out years ago still adorned the walls. Walking further towards the addition that was the small room my grandma and grandpa lived in showed that there was no one here. I breathed a sigh of relief as I set my bag down and set up my tripod. I reached into my bag a pulled out an envelope of old photos. These were old snapshots that we had all taken at some point in time in the house. There were pictures of all of us sitting at the dining room table playing a game of Monopoly. There was a picture of my brother and sister sitting on a couch in the front living room. There was a picture of me hanging on the bars of the front porch. I looked through them all and held them in place in front of me as if I were holding a window to the past.
Each picture made the lump in my throat grow as I started to struggle to control my emotions. There was history here, and soon it would all be gone. This is the place where my parents had raised four kids. They had taken care of my grandparents in their twilight years here. My Aunt and my grandmother had both died in this house. Birthdays, graduation parties, and anniversaries had been celebrated here. The echoes of life had reverberated within the walls of this place. Now, the house sat silent. It would never again know happy screams of kids having a water-balloon war out in the front yard, nor would it hear the cries of anguish as the matriarch of the family passed away surrounded by her family. What once was a home full of life was now just an empty house made of drywall and paint. I sat there for a moment contemplating just how much family history was actually made here. As I thought hard about my siblings and my parents, I felt pained at the thought of our strained relationships. We had all scattered once we had the opportunity to be free of each other. My oldest brother had married and moved away as soon as possible. My sister now lived in northern California. My parents too had moved away. I was now living in Utah. Only my older brother had remained behind. The lump grew larger in my throat as tears welled up in my eyes. I held back sobs of anger and pain. Why was I hurting? Hadn’t I dealt with these issues already? I walked back to my old bedroom and sat down under the window. I pulled my head down into my knees and cried. I could hear yelling and screaming in my head. Shouting matches between siblings and parents, brothers and sister, rattled inside my brain, making the pain grow. I sat there and cried. I hadn’t cried like this in a long time. Eventually I ran out of tears and tired gasps of sorrow and regret washed over me as a blanket of drowsiness enveloped me. I leaned my head back and fell asleep.
I woke up to the sound of footsteps. It took me a moment to realize what I was hearing and hurriedly stood up. Had someone followed me? I knew the police were patrolling the area sporadically. Had they seen me enter the house? I knew there would be a possibility of getting a trespassing citation, but I figured I could either talk my way out of it seeing as to how I was a former resident, or I could probably fight the citation in court if the judge knew why I was there in the first place. Ultimately, passing through the gate had been a calculated risk that I was willing to take for the sake of my art. I got up from my corner of the room and moved towards the door. If there was someone in the house, I needed to know. I didn’t want my gear to stolen, and if there was a cop in the house, I wanted to ensure I didn’t get shot.
I was greeted by the sight of a startled chubby boy standing on the other side of the door. His round cherubic face was crowned by a head of short curly hair. His hazel green eyes stared widely back at me. He clearly didn’t expect someone to be here in the house. His body recoiled in fear as he cowered back towards the hallway. “Wait, what are you doing here?” I asked as non-threateningly as I could. The boy muttered something that I couldn’t quite make out. “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you” I replied. “Are you here to rob us?” he timidly responded. “Rob you? What are you talking about?” I asked as confusion set in. “What are you doing here?” It was his turn to be confused. “Uh…I….live here?” he replied. “What do you mean you live here? No one lives-“I stopped midsentence. I hadn’t noticed in my initial shock but the room wasn’t the same. A familiar blue couch caught the corner of my eye. In front of that was an old console TV with a partially broken antenna hanging on the wall behind it. I walked further in to the living room to notice wood paneling on the walls. A large mirror hung on the wall to my left. Familiar yellow lamps sat on round drop-leaf tables on either side of the couch. A large hutch sat in one corner, a collection of letters and bills, mail advertisements, and a phone book covered scattered over it. “What just happened?” I asked out loud to no one in particular. I was thoroughly mystified by what my eyes were seeing. I had walked into the house from the front door and had stepped into an empty white room with slate floor tiles, but somehow now found myself in a furnished room with brown carpet that was all so familiar to me, yet was nothing but a distant faded memory. I turned to look at the boy still startled by the intrusion of a strange man looking wildly around the room in total shock.
“You can take what you want, just please let me go. I don’t want problems.” He stated his voice still shrill with anxiety. I blinked a few times as I tried to process just what the heck was going on. I gathered my thoughts as best I could and tried to reassure him. “Kid, I’m not here to rob anyone. I was just-“I shook my head “Where the hell am I? Am I having a dream?” I asked myself. “I must be dreaming. I’m just tired and still sleeping. This is all a dream. Yeah, that’s it.” I needed to sit down. Being back in the old house must have overtaxed my senses, I told myself. I’d having a dream about an old memory. I walked over to the chair next to the couch and sat down. I sunk into it and rested my head back towards the wall.
The boy kept his distance, but sensed I wasn’t there to hurt him. He looked me over with anxious curiosity. He stood at the far end of the couch, examining me while he played out scenarios in his head in preparation for a quick exit. “Why are you in my house?” he asked me. “Dude, this is all just a dream I’m having. I’m not really here.” He reached over to the couch and picked up a pillow. He reared his arm and threw it at me. It landed in my lap. “I don’t know, man. You sure seem to be here.” He said to me. I opened my eyes, startled. I looked down at the pillow he tossed and examined it. I ran my hand over the fabric and felt its texture. I remember this pillow. This was the pillow I would roll under my head as I lay on the couch and watched TV as a kid. A sudden realization hit me as I looked around the room with fresh eyes. No longer was I blinded by the fog of confusion. I knew exactly where I was.
I was home.
I looked at the boy still standing at the edge of the couch. I looked him over and realized who he actually was. I stared in disbelief as I smiled and tried to put him at ease. “It’s ok Johnny. I’m not here to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you. Please, sit down” I told him. I motioned to his end of the couch. “Who are you, and why are you here?” he asked me.
“This will be hard to believe, but I’m you” I said with an incredulous tone, “I’m not sure how I ended up here, but I’m here.” He looked at me as I had grown a second head. “That doesn’t make any sense. How could you be me? Did we invent time travel? Oh! Are we secret government agents with the CIA?”
I chuckled. “Wait, wait, wait. Let’s start at the beginning. I’m you at 38 years old. You’re…what, 11… 12 years old? It makes sense. I fell asleep under the window in my- our old bedroom. I didn’t come here on purpose or in a machine. And no, I’m not a government agent.” His face contorted to display understanding, disappointment and finally suspicion. His eyes narrowed as he leaned in towards me. “How do I know you’re really me?” he asked. I thought about it for a moment. How could I prove to him that I was who I said I was? A few seconds of silence settled between us. I stroked my chin, thinking of a solution.
“I have a better idea. Ask me questions that only you know the answers to.” “Okay” he responded. He glanced around the room trying to come up with something. His eyes fixated on the Nintendo sitting under the TV cabinet. “What game do me and Nathan have a map of?” I looked over at the NES. I hadn’t thought about this for years, but I knew instantly what he was asking. “YOU don’t have anything. Nathan is the one that made the map for Section Z” His jaw dropped. He tried to trick me, but his plan failed. He knew well and good that Nathan never let him play. It was always ‘I’ll let you play when I die’ or, ‘you can play when I’m done’. The problem was that he never followed through. Usually by the time Nathan was done, the NES was overheated, and the game would no longer load until it cooled down. By that point, it was time for bed.
“How do you know that?” he asked in astonishment. “I know these things because I’m you. Just like I know that you wear t-shirts to the pool because you’re embarrassed by what others will think of your body. I know that you used to think that people that die off in movies were prisoners that were set to be executed from death row, so they used them for making movies. I know all about you because I’m you”
Johnny sat on the end of the couch in bewilderment, his mouth slightly agape. He had never told anyone any of this. He didn’t have any close friends to talk to about such things, and those friends he did have were more acquaintances than friends. There was only one way he could possibly know these things. He was talking to his future self.
I could see Johnny’s mind completely explode. There lay endless possibility and the answers to a million questions he could ask about his own future. He started to ask a question, only to stop, close his mouth, and try asking another. I knew if he kept this up he would have a stroke or something. “Dude, calm yourself. Let’s talk this out rationally, otherwise you’ll end up stroking out or something.” I told him. He took a deep breath and I could hear him muttering quietly. I knew he was trying to form a coherent sentence before he actually spoke it. I did it all the time. “Ok, first of all, are we rich?” he asked with tempered expectation. I chuckled and grinned back at him. “No, not at all. If I was rich, would I be dressed like this?” I replied as I motioned to my beat up brown Vans and worn out jeans and T-shirt. “We-, I – make enough to get by. I’m not poor, but I earn enough to pay the bills.” His face grew a smirk as he commented “Yeah, I figured. What do I do for work? I mean, what do you do for work?” I thought about it for a second. I wondered how much information I should divulge to a younger me. I still didn’t think this whole situation was really happening, but if it was, I probably should proceed with caution. “Well, it’s complicated. I do a little bit of everything. You know how you’re constantly taking things apart? Let’s just say that it’s good to put them back together in order to keep them working. Take good notes on paper if you need to, and make sure you have a clean work area so you can keep track of all the parts.” He gave me a sheepish look. He knew exactly what I was talking about. I had spent countless hours sneaking dad’s tools to my room so I could figure out how something was built and try to figure out how it worked. I had gotten myself into some pretty bad trouble with dad over a drill, his timing light, and other stuff I had taken from his room. His belt had become quite familiar with my butt cheeks.
I gave him a knowing smile. “What else do you want to know?” He thought about it for a second. “Do we have a girlfriend?” I laughed, probably a little more than I should have because his face contorted into a sour frown. “You don’t need to be a jerk about it” he scowled. I continued to chuckle. “Yeah we have a girlfriend. We have more than a girlfriend” I could tell he was irritated with my vague indirect answers. I knew what he was asking. I remember the crush I had on my neighbor across the street. We had been friends since kindergarten, and had been classmates for 1st, 2nd, and 4th grades. We got along really well, and I knew from around 12 or 13 that I wanted to be her boyfriend. Unfortunately, things never progressed beyond the ‘just friends’ stage of things. It wasn’t from lack of effort on my part. We had just grown up together most of our lives that she didn’t see me as anything more than a brother and friend. “Dude, look. You just started to go through changes and you are starting to notice girls, but that doesn’t mean that you need to love every girl that shows you a little kindness or subtle interest. You need to slow down and let things happen naturally. You can’t force a relationship with someone.” Johnny pondered these words for a moment. I sat back and put my feet up on the coffee table. I looked around the room some more while I waited for another question. There was so much I had forgotten, but being back here had unlocked more and more memories that continued to wash over me. I was trying to hold on to my cool as not all those churned up recollections were pleasant. I stood up and walked over to the front door to peer outside the small central window embedded into the center of it. I could see the old neighborhood as I remembered it all those years ago. The lot across the street that served as a parking area for those that worked at the wheel works at the end of the block was empty of cars. I furrowed my brow as I thought for a moment. An empty lot meant it was afterhours or the weekend.
The gears in my own head started turning. “Wait, where is everyone?” I asked Johnny. Johnny turned to look at me still processing my last response. “Uh..oh, Mom and dad are out of town. They took a trip east this time. I think Rio said they are in Arizona right now. Rio and Nathan went out to get some food and to rent some movies from Video Showcase. Knowing them they’ll eat out first. Talia is staying over at Tia Rosie’s place today with her friends.” I grunted at his response. My mind was wandering as he mentioned Talia and Tia Rosie.
A sudden sharp pain pieced my heart. The pain of a thousand memories now unsealed spilled out from the box I had locked them away in. Tears welled in the corners of my eyes as I turned back to look at Johnny. He felt it too. He stared at the floor with an intensity that made me think it would burst into flames at any moment. I walked back over to him and sat next to him. He didn’t move. I placed my hand on his shoulder, and he threw himself into me. I could feel the tears dripping onto me as he sobbed intensely. “Hey man, its ok. It’s going to be ok.” I said as my own tears started to flow uncontrollably. I pulled him close and draped my other arm around him.
I knew the pain he was feeling. It was such a heavy burden, and I knew there was no one he felt he could talk to. I remembered it all so vividly. We sat there for what seemed to be an eternity. When we finally stopped sobbing, and our noses ran dry, we tried to breathe our way through to calmness. I got up and knelt in front of him. “Johnny, listen to me and remember what it is that I’m about to say to you. You are stronger than you think. You are stronger than you believe. NO ONE should ever have to go through this. Just because it happened to Talia, doesn’t mean you have to put up with it any longer. I know you didn’t think it was wrong, but I’m telling you that what she is doing to you is wrong. Talking to mom and dad isn’t going to make them hate you. You are not doing this to her, she is doing it to you. I’m not making excuses for her, but she is also more damaged than anyone realizes, and she is also dealing with the same level of pain you are. Remember that we do unto others what has been done to us. That doesn’t mean we need to continue the cycle of abuse” The lump in my throat grew immense at my own statement. I swallowed it as best I could and continued “You are going to deal with this pain a little bit at a time, and you’ll slowly get over this. It’s like a broken bone. When it happens, you don’t realize how bad the pain is until the adrenaline wears off, but then the immense pain is there. Just remember that this will pass. Just like a broken bone, you will heal over time, and one day, you will realize that the pain is gone and the bone is no longer broken. You’ll remember the pain, but it won’t hurt anymore.”
Johnny sat there in stunned silence. I knew he didn’t have anyone to help him through this. He couldn’t talk to Rio or Nathan about what was going on. Mom and Dad were constantly working to keep the family fed and sheltered and while they provided materially for their kids, emotional help was less available. Perhaps it was due to their energies being divided into 4 kids, a mortgage and multiple jobs, or perhaps it was also the culture of not talking about problems. Either way, they needed to know what was happening. They wouldn’t be able to fix it otherwise. “They’re going to be mad at me” he finally said after a few moments of silence. “No they won’t be. They love us all. I know you’re not used to hearing it, but they do love you. Everything they do is because of their love for us. This isn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. Telling them isn’t going to cause them to be angry.” I thought for a moment to find a good analogy. “You love Odie and Lady, right?” He nodded in agreement. “Ok, how would you feel if you knew someone you trusted was coming to the house and beating up our dogs when we weren’t around?” He thought about it for a second before his face changed to anger. “I’d want to kill them!” “Yes, but would you also feel sad that you weren’t there to try to protect them?” I reasoned. His face changed again. He understood what I was saying. Mom and Dad would be angry, but not necessarily at him. They would also feel a great sadness knowing that someone was hurting their child.
I smiled at him. He understood. I nodded. “Dude…You’re going to come to understand that life is not what you think it will be. Life is messy and can change in an instant. The plans you make today may not make it to next week. A lifelong goal can be derailed because of something out of your control. Mom and dad have spent their life protecting us with the goal of keeping us safe, but circumstances out of their control have affected their kids, and now we- you all have to deal with the fallout. Just remember that you are not the culprit. Yes, mom and dad will be hurt and angry, but not at you. Trust them. They don’t do things to hurt us” Johnny hugged me. I- He didn’t have many people he could trust and open up to. He liked to talk a lot about everything going on in his life, no matter how trivial. Everything, except this. This was a shameful topic, and he didn’t feel like anyone would understand why he didn’t go to an adult sooner. The problem was simple. He simply didn’t understand that it was wrong. Now that he had an adult that he could talk to, himself no less, he wanted to lift this burden off his shoulders. He was happy to have found someone and he hugged me tightly. I hugged him back just at tightly. It wasn’t every day that I could meet my younger self and help to comfort them. “Thank you” he said to me.
The world darkened, and everything faded to black.
I lifted my head out of my knees and looked around. I was sitting under the window in my old bedroom again. Had I fallen asleep? I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked the time. I was emotionally drained and incredibly tired. I hadn’t had sleep like that in years. I got to my feet and looked around the room briefly before walking out to mom and dad’s old room. I grabbed my camera and slowly walked the house, snapping picture after picture. The only sound to be heard was the sound of the camera shutter and my soft footsteps. I thought about my dream as I took pictures.
Upon entering my room, a random memory hit me.
The stash.
I was pretty sure I had taken the hidden box when I moved out all those years ago, but since I was here, I should double check. Heading into the closet, I pushed the panel that led to the attic space out of the way and peered in. I couldn’t see anything, so I reached up there to feel around. The box was indeed gone. I felt around for a few more seconds and was surprised to feel what felt like a thick envelope. I didn’t remember leaving anything up there, but after pulling it down and giving it a cursory glance, I figured it was an old envelope of lost love letters. It wasn’t until I blew off the thick layer of dust that I realized what I was holding. It was a letter. Not just any letter. It was addressed to me.
Under the now semi-cleared layer of dust were the words “To be opened by future me”. I looked at it for a few moments before opening it. I couldn’t remember making this at all, much less storing it up in my secret hiding spot. If ever I hid something, it was in the stash box. My hands shook a bit as I started to open the envelope and pulled out the yellowed pages inside. I started reading.
"Dear Future John. I have spent the last few years remembering a dream I had when I was younger. Life was…difficult at that time, and I spent a lot of time escaping my reality by reading a lot of books and watching a lot of TV. On the off-chance that what I think is a dream really happened. I wanted to write some things down in an effort to give you my thanks. I merely consider myself a conveyer of thanks, although I will pile on my own thanks to you for your words of encouragement. I remember finding a stranger in the house one day while I was home alone. I was afraid he was there to hurt me at first, but after a few moments, I came to realize I was meeting myself. Well, I was meeting me, but from the future. I think he said he was in his 40’s, but I couldn’t tell you with any certainty. Either way, we talked. We talked about life, and what the future held in store for us…
Mostly though, we talked about the abuse. Well, Talked is being generous. We cried, and then we talked. I don’t remember exactly what he told me, but I remember how he made me feel. He made me feel safe. I felt like I could trust him. Trust myself. In the end, he gave me the courage to stand up for myself both at home and at school. He also gave me the courage to talk to mom and dad about what was going on between me and Talia. I do remember being afraid that I would be punished, but he reassured me that they wouldn’t, and that they loved me.
It was a difficult and awkward conversation, but in the end, arrangements were made for me to share a room with Rio and Nathan. I didn’t have much of a relationship with Talia for a long while, but after some years, we managed to patch things up. She apologized to me, and I came to understand the abuse she herself was subjected to by so-called family friends. She didn’t tell me this in an effort to excuse it, but to merely help give me closure to a difficult time from my own childhood. Mom and dad promised to be more attentive to us and we sort of established what I guess you would call an open door policy. We talk more about stuff that’s happening in our lives. Mom is much easier to talk to now. Dad is a little more patient with us too. I apologized to them for not coming to them sooner, and dad gave me a “nugget of wisdom” that I think I’ll live by: We can’t fix what we don’t know is broken. I’ve tried to make sure I talk to them when something is wrong, and I’ve tried to implement that in my life so I don’t have problems with other people.
I’m trying to grow up to be a good guy. I want to have good relationships with people. Nathan says I’m turning into a people pleaser, but I don’t necessarily see that as a terrible thing. I know when to say no to someone. Well, either way, I wanted to make sure I thank you for the help you gave us. I probably won’t remember writing this, but I hope I do find it again someday. Here’s hoping I turn into the man I feel you are. -John Age 16."
I stared at the letter, the words blurring as tears welled up in my eyes. I quickly brushed them away as I quietly spoke to no one in particular. “Thanks guys. I hope I live up to your expectations” I folded the letter, placed it in my pocket, and walked out of the room. After picking up my backpack and tripod, I silently walked towards the front door, my footsteps echoing in the empty house. I turned to look back at the empty living room one last time, and after a moment, I walked out.
submitted by Figuarus to shortstories [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 02:01 thrwawy8772 AITAH for banning my boyfriend’s teen daughter from our bed?

Hello everyone! I (44F) have been dating H (38M) for around 9 months now. Even before we started dating, I was aware he had a daughter E (14F) who he cared deeply for, and I was aware they would be a package deal. I also knew there was a strained relationship between E, H, and E’s mother, and unspecified terrible experiences with E’s mother’s past boyfriends. This led me to the understanding that H may be protective of E.
I did not meet E until about 3 months ago. The meeting did not go poorly, however it was clear her and I were just very different people and would not be able to be friends. With that being said, we remain civil, and she is a very polite, pretty, smart, cunning young lady who is well liked by her friends and family.
H did not allow me to his house or to meet E for the first 6 months of our relationship. This did cause strain in our relationship as I felt H was implying I was untrustworthy, however as someone who is child free by choice, I came to terms with the fact that I may never understand the parental instinct to protect one’s child.
When I finally did meet E, she was quiet and polite. The car ride was a bit awkward, but H kept her talking about things she liked, though I could tell E wasn’t fully in the conversation as I could occasionally hear her fake nails as she typed on her phone. We went to a barbecue at one of H’s close friend’s homes, and we were all admittedly a bit distracted, so E did not spend much time with us. One of the first things I noticed was their level of physical affection; before E ran off with the other teens at the barbecue, she gave H a hug. Not a cute hug, but a long, lingering hug in which she whispered something to him and he whispered back and kissed her forehead. When I asked H about this he said not to worry, that E was just nervous, but I still found it weird. I tried to brush that off, especially because she was also very physically affectionate with other people that were considered family or close friends. E hugged and cheek kissed all of the people introduced to me as important in H’s life.
However, as I started coming over to their home, I noticed a bit more strange physical affection; more hugging and kissing, cuddling, play fighting, and E has a habit of liking her back scratched and hair played with, which H obliges no questions asked. I even caught H as he held E in his lap once when she was crying about a personal matter that neither of them wanted to tell me about.
This came to a head somewhat recently when I attempted to initiate intimacy at H’s home and he declined. Frankly I was surprised; our intimate life has been amazing, and he’d never said no to me before. H explained that E was in her bedroom directly next to us, the shared wall being the one his bed was up against, and E also frequently laid in his bed, and it just made him uneasy. H suggested a lounger on the far wall of the room if I was able to stay quiet, but I set a boundary and told him no. He then flat out declined and rescinded any sort of compromise. This triggered a huge argument in which I brought up how uncomfortable I was with the physical affection with E. After I gave him specific examples, he invalidated my feelings. He literally stared at me like I had three heads before laughing and telling me I was crazy for thinking that. This caused me to go home, not speaking to him until the next day. When I did come over to his house again, I only went over under the assumption that he had changed his mind, however I learned that he stood strong on this point. This remained an issue over the coming months.
A few days ago, when I went over to his house, E was in her room and H and I practically had the house to ourselves. I took a shower, which took me about 20 minutes. When I walked back into H’s bedroom, I was surprised to find E had swooped in in those 20 minutes and was in his bed, lying perpendicular to H with her head on his stomach. Neither of them even flinched when I walked in, they just stayed staring at their respective phones.
Admittedly, I lost it. I berated H about his strange relationship with E, and I set the boundary of her not being allowed in our bed. He quickly shut that down, but I persisted. After some back and forth on the matter I eventually I turned to E to berate her about her unwillingness to accept me and her attempt to gate keep H, then telling her that as long as I was around she needed to act appropriate with H. H kicked me out as soon as I turned my attention to E. We haven’t talked save for a text message telling me he needed time to think, and a message today asking when we could get together to talk.
We will be having our conversation either tonight or tomorrow night, and I would love some outside opinions from complete strangers.
So, AITAH for trying to ban my boyfriend’s teenaged daughter from our bed after a pattern of inappropriate behavior?
submitted by thrwawy8772 to AITAH [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 01:56 Creepy_Judgment_3568 Godwyn Reborn?

We know Miquella divested himself of his flesh and lineage. We know his body in the cocoon in Mohgwyn Palace is nothing but a husk. His consciousness though is clearly very much at play. And we know he admired Godwyn. And there are hints that he wants to give Godwyn a true death.
But what are the chances that his goal is actually to be reborn/reincarnated AS Godwyn? Thoughts?
It would certainly set up giving Godwyn a true death, especially if this rebirthed Godwyn winds up being a boss.
submitted by Creepy_Judgment_3568 to Eldenring [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 01:54 Ichihogosha Generalisation of FF players/fans

Good day redditors.
I have been lurking this thread for a bit now and I seem to see a trend, but am curious to what you think about it. Final fantasy seems to have two types of fans. Fans of the VII, VIII, X, and so on and fans of IX, XII, and so on. I don’t really want to split it like this but it is almost like it is split between those who like the less realistic/cartoony setting like 9, and those who like the less cartoony/more natural type of game like 7.
This, I believe is anecdotal but it seems that some people, like myself, loves IX and XII but doesnt really have a taste for VII and VIII. On the other hand others seem to be able to enjoy VIII and X but cant get into IX.
I do get that this is anecdotal and also that we as humans have different likes and dislikes. However, I wonder where this leaves the developers when creating the next game. Would it be smart to do 1 "realistic" (well, realistic for FF) game and then 1 "cartoony" game, or rather try to blend the styles and try to keep everyone happy (doing this never went wrong in the past, right /s)
Added note, I kept my examples short because there are so many games and spinoffs out there and I thought those examples would show my thoughts adequately.
submitted by Ichihogosha to FinalFantasy [link] [comments]


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2024.05.16 01:51 obesedestro Would y'all recommend using 3rd party disc drives for the PS5?

Would y'all recommend using 3rd party disc drives for the PS5?
I got the digital system but have recently been adding disc box sets to my collection of things. So, to avoid buying a dedicated DVD player, would a 3rd party removable disc drive be smart or should I just save for the PS5 brand one?
submitted by obesedestro to playstation [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 01:50 adulting4kids More Lessons

Lesson 1: Introduction to Tarot and the Fool's Journey
Welcome to the world of Tarot! The Tarot deck is divided into two main sections: the Major Arcana and the Minor Arcana. Let's start with the Major Arcana, which represents significant life events and spiritual lessons. The Fool's Journey is a narrative that guides us through the Major Arcana, depicting the Fool's adventures and growth.
Exercise 1: Obtain a Tarot deck and spend time familiarizing yourself with each card in the Major Arcana. Meditate on the Fool's Journey, contemplating its symbolism and how it relates to personal growth.
Lesson 2: Understanding the Minor Arcana
The Minor Arcana consists of four suits: Wands, Cups, Swords, and Pentacles. Each suit represents a specific aspect of life (fire, water, air, and earth). Explore the meanings of each suit and their corresponding elements.
Exercise 2: Pull a card from each Minor Arcana suit daily. Reflect on how the energy of each suit manifests in your day. Take notes on your observations and feelings.
Lesson 3: Basic Tarot Spreads
Learn the Celtic Cross, a foundational Tarot spread. This spread provides insights into various aspects of your life, such as relationships, career, and personal growth.
Exercise 3: Practice the Celtic Cross spread regularly, interpreting the cards and noting any patterns. Begin journaling your interpretations and insights.
Lesson 4: Gratitude Meditation with the Empress
The Empress card symbolizes abundance and nurturing energy. Engage in a guided meditation focusing on gratitude, visualizing the Empress and absorbing her nurturing essence.
Exercise 4: Meditate for 10 minutes daily, expressing gratitude for different aspects of your life. Journal your thoughts and any intuitive insights gained during the meditation.
Lesson 5: Manifesting with the Magician
The Magician card embodies manifestation and personal power. Learn to harness your intentions through a guided meditation, aligning with the Magician's transformative energy.
Exercise 5: Create a manifestation journal. Write down your goals, visualize success, and regularly revisit and revise your entries. Note any changes or progress.
Lesson 6: Relationship Insight with the Lovers
Explore the symbolism of the Lovers card, representing choices, partnerships, and connections. Meditate on understanding the dynamics of your relationships and making conscious choices.
Exercise 6: Pull the Lovers card and reflect on your current relationships. Consider the dynamics at play and how you can bring harmony and balance. Journal your insights.
Lesson 7: Personal Insight with the High Priestess
Delve into the mysteries of the subconscious with the High Priestess. Practice intuitive exercises and meditation to access your inner wisdom and enhance self-awareness.
Exercise 7: Perform daily meditation, focusing on connecting with your intuition. Pay attention to any symbols or insights that arise, noting them in your journal.
Lesson 8: Inspiration and Creativity with the Ace of Wands
Tap into your creative potential with the Ace of Wands. Engage in a guided meditation to ignite inspiration and explore new avenues for self-expression.
Exercise 8: Set aside time for a creative activity each week. Channel the energy of the Ace of Wands and express yourself through art, writing, or any other creative outlet.
Lesson 9: Balancing Emotions with the Ace of Cups
The Ace of Cups represents emotional fulfillment and new beginnings. Practice emotional balance through meditation, allowing the Ace of Cups to guide you towards harmony.
Exercise 9: Journal your emotional experiences daily. Use the Ace of Cups as inspiration to navigate and understand your feelings. Reflect on patterns and areas for growth.
Lesson 10: Stability and Practicality with the Ace of Pentacles
Discover the grounded energy of the Ace of Pentacles, associated with stability and practicality. Engage in a guided meditation to cultivate a sense of security and abundance.
Exercise 10: Evaluate your financial and practical goals. Create a plan for achieving stability, incorporating the energy of the Ace of Pentacles. Regularly revisit and adjust your plan.
submitted by adulting4kids to tarotjourneys [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 01:49 Sea-Apartment1636 Garmin Forerunner 55 vs Garmin Venu Square (first gen) vs Apple Watch SE

I’m currently trying to decide which smart watch would fit my lifestyle the best right now. I am weighing options based on my priorities of fitness goals, price and durability.
I am a relatively active person and want a device that will help track my running and biking stats. I just completed my first half marathon and am about to start training for another half marathon and want to take it more seriously this time around. Looking for a device that will accurately track my overall pace, current pace, mileage, heart rate and calories burned for both runs and bike rides and then sync to Strava. Getting some sleep info would also be cool.
Pricing also plays an important role. I have seen the Apple SE priced at $250 while the Garmin Forerunner 55 is $200 and the Venu Square is $200 on some websites and even as low as $110 on another website. I’m on a bit of a budget and don’t know if I should spend $250 unless it is very worth it.
Regarding design and ability to wear daily, I personally think the Apple Watch and the Venu square are both pretty sleek, but the forerunner is not bad either.
Which watch would fit my needs the most? Thanks!
Side note: I do have an iPhone
submitted by Sea-Apartment1636 to Garmin [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 01:48 jonathancx525 RootsBlog - Oakland Soul set goals record in 7-nil win over Olympic Club; Shaelan Murison, Miranda Nild, more

RootsBlog - Oakland Soul set goals record in 7-nil win over Olympic Club; Shaelan Murison, Miranda Nild, more submitted by jonathancx525 to OaklandRootsSC [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 01:48 Brief_Mycologist1225 Unleash Peak Printing Performance: Unveiling the HP 26A Toner Cartridge's Yield Potential

For discerning businesses and individuals in Egypt seeking top-notch laser printing, the HP 26A toner cartridge reigns supreme. This genuine HP product boasts a remarkable yield, ensuring consistent, high-quality output while maximizing cost-efficiency. But just how many pages can you expect from an HP 26A toner cartridge? Buckle up, as Hardware Egypt dives deep into the world of toner yield and empowers you to make informed printing decisions.

Understanding Toner Yield: The Numbers Explained

The HP 26A toner cartridge boasts an impressive approximate yield of 3,100 pages. This figure, based on the ISO/IEC 19752 standard, represents the estimated number of pages a cartridge can print under specific conditions. However, it's crucial to understand that real-world yield can vary depending on several factors.

Factors Affecting HP 26A Toner Yield:

Print Coverage: The amount of ink used on each page significantly impacts yield. Pages with dense text blocks and graphics will deplete toner faster compared to those with minimal coverage.
Printing Mode: Opting for draft mode, which uses less toner, can significantly increase yield. Conversely, high-quality printing consumes more toner, reducing yield.
Font Size: Smaller fonts require more toner to maintain legibility, impacting yield.
Graphics Complexity: Images and intricate graphics demand more toner, lowering yield compared to text-heavy documents.
Maximizing Your HP 26A Toner Yield:

While the 3,100-page estimate provides a valuable benchmark, here are some strategies to stretch your HP 26A toner cartridge even further:

Utilize Draft Mode: For everyday documents like emails or internal memos, draft mode delivers acceptable quality while conserving toner.
Adjust Font Size: Opt for larger, more readable fonts whenever possible. This reduces toner usage without sacrificing clarity.
Embrace Eco-Friendly Printing: Many printers offer eco-mode settings that optimize toner usage by adjusting printing parameters.
Print Double-Sided: Double-sided printing cuts paper usage in half and effectively doubles your page yield from a single cartridge.
Beyond Yield: The HP 26A Advantage

While yield is a crucial factor, the HP 26A toner cartridge offers additional benefits that elevate your printing experience:
Superior Print Quality: HP's JetIntelligence technology delivers crisp, professional-looking text and graphics, ideal for presentations, reports, and marketing materials.
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At Hardware Egypt, we understand the importance of efficient and cost-effective printing solutions. We offer a comprehensive selection of genuine HP toner cartridges, including the HP 26A, at competitive prices. Our knowledgeable staff is here to assist you in choosing the right cartridge for your specific printing needs.

Invest in Productivity: Choose the HP 26A Toner Cartridge

The HP 26A toner cartridge, with its remarkable yield and superior print quality, empowers businesses and individuals in Egypt to achieve peak printing performance. By understanding yield factors and implementing smart printing practices, you can maximize the cartridge's lifespan and optimize your printing budget. Partner with Hardware Egypt for genuine HP products and expert advice to unlock the full potential of your HP printer.

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submitted by Brief_Mycologist1225 to u/Brief_Mycologist1225 [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 01:48 JStevinik Premise for a Comedy-Drama Series About a Technocratic Reeducation Camp

I was at work, where one of my co-workers brought up the statistic that over 5% of respondents in a poll believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows. He claims that the people doubled down and asked whether such people deserve to be placed in a re-education camp. I paused before responding with a definitive "yes".
I noticed that Americans, in particular, express re-education camps as a very particular dystopian punishment. However, I noticed that some people express re-education as rehabilitation since attendees would be trained in skills to have better economic integration in society to prosper. Many Americans advocate for their prison system to be reformed into rehabilitation. I am not surprised that (re)-education would be regarded as a punishment since there is a literal sitcom titled Saved by the Bell.
As an aspiring show-runner of a comedy-drama, I think that a premise about re-education attendees in a technocratic future may or may not work. It has thematic questions, which is necessary for any story or arc. They are: "Is re-education rehabilitation or punishment? Can people be rehabilitated? Another question: Can people be rehabilitated? I got that idea for the latter from the hippie teacher in Beavis and Butthead being challenged (for the sake of comedy). Another question. The former is self-explanatory. I broader question is: Can technocracy fulfill consistent goals as implemented politics, despite its lack of an ideology? I got inspired by my mixed-feelings on technocracy because as someone who studied pharmaceutical sciences, I somewhat wish for humanity and economics to behave less irrationally.
For the characters, I have the facility commandant who gets challenged by both the attendees, who either show lacking progress or defiance, and the re-evaluations made by the changing procedures by the government. The attendees are a varying range of cranks: an easily manipulated poll taker who thinks chocolate milk comes from brown cows, a legit terrorist/conspirator, a "sovereign citizen", a NEET Reddit moderator requested by his parents to attend, a trucker displaced by automation, an underemployed, traveling lab tech seeking transfer credits to get more fitting positions. Each would only last at least one season. I got that idea from a statistic on how most Americans change jobs within 10 years; rendering The Office (at least the US version) unrealistic. I think it can have better settings by having optional, remote classes.
Before you ask, yes, I am aware of the overlap with Dead Poet's Society. I have not seen it beyond its most iconic scene that gets referenced. I watched a Qunton Reviews video on the career of disgraced showrunner Dan Schneider, in which he was in a forgotten sitcom Head of the Class about a gifted high school class and underemployed teacher. I have not watched it yet. I read that PIXAR refused to even read the premise to a Disney-only produced, mid-2000s straight-to-DVD Toy Story 3 to avoid unconsciously plagiarizing material. I am not sure if it is the correct way to avoid material similar to my premise. However, the Toy Story writers studied buddy comedies (and prison escape films for Toy Story 3) to identify common strengths to follow and avoid common weaknesses. Maybe I should catch up on many sitcoms and dramas. However, I work about 60 hours a week, so it is easier said than done. Even I am pushing a little behind (but not late) due to writing this.
Of course, I really appreciate even the harshest dismissal because former Simpsons co-writer and co-showrunner, in his co-authored memoir Springfield Confidential, stated that no amount of talented writers can save a fundamentally bad premise, referring to his first TV writing job at Nine to Five. I hope it is not as problematic as Mr. Enter's (infamous for complaining that Turning Red did not reference post-9/11 paranoia) novel and proposed independent series of kids running adult roles (people do not age backward).
submitted by JStevinik to Screenwriting [link] [comments]


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