Recently I have been doing poorly to say the least. In the past week I made some discoveries about why I behave in certain ways and how it stem from my childhood. I am normally very good at regulating my emotions but this week has been terrible. I've been annoyed way easier than I should be and for the past few days I've struggled to get out of bed. I pushed myself to go out and hangout with people but I feel absolutely miserable. Partially because in my friend groups I'm always the mediator and the one who takes lead and makes plans. But right now it's all too much. Staying inside sucks, going outside sucks, being with friends sucks. A big reason for this is partially due to my parents. I currently live with my parents and, my dad was and is still very verbally abusive and demeaning. He previously was physically abusive but he doesn't do that anymore. He is blatantly homophobic and well I'm gay. He says he does these things out of love and the thing that sucks is he wholeheartedly believes it. Living my life knowing that I'm not good enough for him to change hurts. He's said that he doesn't support gay marriage and wouldn't attend my wedding if i get married. And the kids would not be part of the family. I'm not even sure what to do here. I've discussed things with him once or twice but i feel the conversation leaning in a bad direction (He starts quoting bible quotes or talks badly about the current generation). I don't think there i anything i can do. And that's the worst part of all. I really want to have a relationship with my father and when I look at other happy families It makes me jealous that they have something I might never be able to achieve. Is there something, anything I can do to make this work?

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I've been reading a book that has brought some comfort to me in my time of grief. In that book, it states that deep losses actually make you a more compassionate person unless you were naturally an apathetic person to begin with. I wholehearted agreed with this because a colleague is currently going through similar situation to what happened with my sister and I found myself actively showing up for her more as compared to what I would've done before going through deep grief myself. However, I've had friends who have really disappointed me in this time of grief by simply not being there for me and I'm wondering if if I would be the asshole for not actively being there them should they one day go through grief themselves. I think I'd at least offer my condolences but I don't know if I can do more than that. For context -
I (32F) lost my sister (33F) this year due to a massive stroke which eventually led to a cardiac arrest during her post-op recovery. My sister and I are very close and her death was a very profound loss for me. During the entire time she was in the hospital, I was updating all friend groups to keep my sister in thoughts and prayers to pull through. As my sister went into cardiac arrest while I was there, I was still updating/begging all friend groups to pray for her to pull through.
Context 1: During the entire time from the stroke to the recovery, my friends (2 of them, both 32F) were supportive. They came down for the wake but didn't reach out on the day of the funeral or after. One of them had only reached out a month after my sister's death but it felt insincere. She said things like "sorry for not reaching out, I've been thinking about you but April has been so busy". I don't mean to notice this but I saw that she was very much active on social media in April. However, I totally understand some people do not have the capacity to be there for someone in their grief or to be there when they are not in the right headspace too so I closed an eye for it. I was disappointed but I let it go. Then she asked if I was open to meeting up and I said yes, and then no reply. But on the day itself, she again, posted something on her socials. A few days after that, she reached out to me and said sorry for the late reply, she fell sick over the weekend. At this point, I was really quite done so I took my time to reply that text. The day after that, it was my birthday, and she sent yet another text to wish me and that she'd like to meet me the following week if possible. So I replied and said thanks, but I can't that week, maybe the next. Although I was still disappointed and a little angry, I still wanted to try for this friendship. It's been a few days now, and again, she hasn't replied but she's been posting on her socials. The other friend (32F) in the same friend group hasn't said anything to me at all since she saw me at the wake, and she didn't even greet me happy birthday. It's not like I want to track who or who hasn't wished me and nor was I in the mood to celebrate this year, but I can't help but to notice.
Context 2: the friend who reached out to me but kept ghosting me - she has a younger sister and she is VERY close to her sister. I thought she would've at least understood how that loss must've been for me. The friend who hasn't said anything to me at all, she's not close to her family and she's the kind of friend who never initiates plans, she waits for people to initiate them.
Losing my sister has changed my perspective quite a bit. I don't have the patience for trivial matters or complaints and I definitely sit in the camp of people should reach out to you first cause you might not want to burden them with telling them how heavy your heart is with this grief. But I do understand that not everyone knows what to say or that some think that giving us our space is what we might need. But I've been actively posting about my pain and they've been seeing it, and not one of them has made actual attempts to reach out or to fulfill their intention of meeting with me.

• Transphobic video using the word "tr***y"
• Referencing drag queens as clowns
• Doesn't disclose that reviews were really paid ads Edited her body for an Aerie ad, which is a brand that supposedly prides themselves on using real bodies.
• Was blocking and ignoring customers who purchased her Glamlite Paht 2 collection, never received their order, and asked about it. All of this while Glamlite was siphoning stock to CVS and also ignored customer inquiries about their overdue orders.
• Along with CVS, broke their "Beauty Unaltered" pledge by creating a display unit that is obviously filtered of the Trash Goblin’s face.
• Committed fraud by pledging that 50% of the proceeds from the Paht 2 collection would be donated to women's healthcare after the Dobbs decision. When anyone commented to ask about it, they were banned from her socials. This one is the most egregious, as there are people who might have purchased solely based on her pledge. She lied about not getting paid yet to make the donation just as the CVS distribution happened.
• She's myopic and doesn't care about her supporters, as she continually discusses her ED without the common courtesy of a trigger warning like most creators do for subjects like this. Her explanation for why she doesn't give a TW? "It doesn't trigger me, so fuck all of you." She's so disrespectful of Cody's sobriety.
• Does giveaways by making followers jump through engagement hoops to boost her profile but then didn't deliver on the giveaways.
• Begging... BEGGING.. followers on her broadcast channel to drop an emoji as a comment to inflate her engagement rate, as comments are engagement rate gold for getting paid.
• Claims she donates extra product to women's shelters, and then went on Instagram asking for suggestions on where in her area she can donate women's clothes. She's so fucking dense that she either doesn't realize the same places she supposedly donates product to is a good first start, or she outed herself as never donating before like she said she did if she doesn't know where to donate clothes locally.
• She's a terrible brand ambassador, which is on her and DBA. She went on a free Paris trip sponsored by Caudalie, and she shit talked how broken out her skin got on the trip (with the assumption she was using their products and services) and never once really hyped the brand that was paying for her to be there.
• Took money from Briogio for a campaign and at the same time posted videos about her hair falling out. She's so dumb she doesn't realize that she caused a causation comparison.
• She's lying about having clients, paying clients that aren't her friends and family. She is not a MUA or a certified in MA to do makeup.
• She brigades brands who don't do her bidding like a brat. Pottery Barn in the middle of the pandemic had shipping and quality issues. She sent her followers after them and then begged PB for more free stuff.
• She has her friends like HeartofGreg comment on her videos, which she then stiches the comment to review a product. She then takes that video and shops it to the brand to get them to sponsor the video.. and a few weeks later the video resurfaces as partner, paid partnerships, sponsorship.
• Tax fraud when handling gratis, expenses, and giveaways
• Did a giveaway for Chanel bags with Chris Appleton (Color Wow) and the Boston's Children's Hospital, which was against GoFundMe's Terms of Service. She never gave the winners their prize.
• Dogs a brand who sent her free items but then turns around and praises the brand when they pay her (She did it with Essence and KVD).
• Did a bunch of fake "pick out my wedding makeup" when she 100% knew what she was using including the fact that e.l.f. sponsored her wedding as a brand event. She says that's not true, but I can guarantee e.l.f. writes off the expenses they incurred for her wedding as a business expense.
• Lied about her YouTube page being her page. She feverously uploaded videos when she took her 5:19, baby tantrum, pity party break from TikTok but still needed to earn money. She uploaded her TikTok videos to YouTube, lied that it was her channel, and made money. If it wasn't her channel, you know she and DBA would file a cease and desist .. and win it.. to get the channel removed. It's her channel.
• Her filter usage is fraud. Period. There is no debating it. When you are getting paid to review products and apply a filter on your face and body, you are committing fraud. The viewer thinks it's the product making that effect and not really the software engineering team that created the editing app.
• With the PeeeLouish collab, they were caught pre-applying swatches from the P.Louise palette. She's also not really applying makeup in her videos. Cheeks, bronzer, and eyes are being applied off screen and she's swiping a brush making it look like she's applying it. Another sign she can't do professional makeup at all. It's all fake.
• Every ”in the wild” picture that’s not filtered shows the truth.
• She constantly lurks on other creators pages to find commenters to block when they shit talk her. Insecure much? She’ll unblock people to snark them and lurk, then block them again. We know she does this with Rich Lux.
• She supports James Charles. The grifting carnival barker loves the groomer trash.
• Community Contribution: She shits on her estranged half sister to her millions of followers, when all the evidence points to her sister being frozen out of their family at the age of 14. She claims her sister walked out of their lives because she “wasn’t the precious daughter of the family anymore” after Mikayla was born, and also talks badly about her sister for being on disability. Mikayla is an aunt to two girls, but I doubt she’s ever cared nor met them. Her sister also lived and lives right down the road from Mikayla’s parents home.
• She’s a known bully and coming from someone who’s now being regarded as an ED spokesperson. She told her friend that drinking hot chocolate would be “200 very unnecessary calories”, and that she was “just trying to help since you’re trying to lose weight” with that comment. She’s a mean girl, and she always has been.
• She cries about shade range while she brags about being soooo pale (um, really?). She releases collabs that are not inclusive for POC. She then brags about buying out and hoarding darker foundations and concealers to use as bronzers meaning the very little stock available for darker skin tones becomes even more scarce when her idiot stans buy up the product. She also blackfishes.
• She can't admit when she's wrong and aggressively lashes out to those trying to point it out. She called a comb and brush, and when corrected in her comments, she was incredibly rude to her own followers. You know, the people engaging with her content that's paying her mortgage. She is incapable of saying, "oops, my bad." Her integrity is crap for this behavior.
• Just like the above, the unwillingness to admit a simple mistake turned her into an ableist POS. There are those with low vision or no vision who listen to TikToks and rely on accuracy in speech and closed captions. Her "go fuck yourself, bro" attitude when called out about the comb incident made her incredibly ableist.
• She creates rage bait content to generate engagement gold via angry comments. This makes her a carnival barking grifter.
• She begs for engagement on her broadcast channel trying to force things to go viral like "nice and shaaaahhp." It's actually pathetic watching her do this.
• Used a derogatory term used to reference Travelers/Romani people and doubled down on it when people called her out and educated her on the use of the word.
• Lied about creating some Mother's Day shopping spree for a "family in need" saying that when she heard their story, she knew she just had to help. When asked in the comments about the story, she played the, "It's not my story the tell." Come to find out, the story is that the child goes to the school that Mikayla's mom works at. There was a raffle at the school, and one of the prizes was a $500 shopping trip with MikPickMe. The girl's mom paid for 40 entries to win the raffle, and she did. The only reason the shopping was done on Mother's Day was due to conflicting schedules. This was not a shopping spree for a family in need. It was a prize from a raffle that Mikayla's mommy had a hand in.
• MikLieHole took Rael's money and trip and went in days earlier with her emotional support animal, Codypendency, and did meetings with a competitor, Tirtir. Tirtir gifted her a Birkin while in South Korea, too.

Long story short, back in January/February I caught Covid/flu and even though I recovered, I was still feeling really fatigue. Multiple doctors and specialist cannot figure out why, however, cannot rule out that I was experience long covid symptoms. I had visit the hospital multiple times for feeling dizzy and strange stomach issue. I simply can't focus at work and had bad headaches once I look at a screen. I even had issues scrolling my phone. My job is to modify and create new legal contracts which means a lot of detail is required. My manager was aware of the situation. My quality rate and utilization rate had gone down. This manager is known to be lazy, favoritism, only reach out announcing bad news, and gives hardworking people a hard time with no appreciation. He also keeps employees with very bad work ethics who don't just don't care about their jobs, but also doing things to cause legal impact. He doesn't care about employees birthdays or anniversary dates and even though people complain, he still doesn't change.
In March (a day before my vacation), my manager had a one on one with me about my quality of work and utilization rate in February with a unfriendly attitude. He also has an expectation that we complete things way BEFORE deadlines. I had been completing things 1-2 days before the deadline and it wasn't good enough. I acknowledge the errors was a fair say, however, I don't think having an expectations to complete things WAY before the target date was fair. Even though my utilization rate has gone down, I had been working overtime to get things done because of my health issues I was slower than normal. It seemed like he was bothered that I was acting calm during our conversation. Then he finally added, "I will take away one of your work privilege if I don't see improvement". He then sent me a formal e-mail with all the above including to provoke a work privilege of mine if I don't improve. A day before my vacation, I was extremely stressed out making sure everything was in good order. I was pretty pissed off and my vacation was pretty much ruined worrying about my job security.
When I came back, I improved with both quality rate and utilization rate and meeting the average among everyone. Apparently it was not enough and the manager was still not happy about it and explained I was only doing mediocre. He has been on my back and giving me extreme anxiety. I am terrified of having any errors on my work and I had been completing things 2 weeks before the due date. I put in a lot of hard work and still wasn't enough. This actually began to caused me to make more errors due to extreme stress and panic when doing the work. We have daily briefing meetings and he accused me of skipping them because I took a day off. The day I came back to work (after my day off), he sent me a message without greetings and straight asking me why I'm skipping the meetings. When I advised that I had a day off which was approved by the team lead, he responded "huh? I don't get it?!?!?!?". I actually broke down in tears after that message because he was accusing me of things I didn't do. We also have meetings every month where I have to talk about all the errors I made and explain why I made the errors in front of everyone which caused me extreme anxiety. The night before that meeting I can't fall asleep at night and wake up 2 hours before my alarm goes off.
I am not lazy and I am hardworking. The funny thing is the team lead agreed some things were not fair especially the formula to calculate utilization rate is extremely flawed and inaccurate. I was actually told even though we had been working overtime, it only shows that we are only at 35% capacity. When the manager was on vacation, we all had a meeting about the inaccuracy of that thing and how the manager refused to change it. Upper management doesn't even know any of this.
I am in huge stress, breaking down in tears, and had caused me stomach issues, anxiety, can't sleep well, and even on weekends I'm scared on Monday the manager would find things to accuse me. Work quality has also being going down.
I talked to a doctor and based on the analysis, I was suggested go on a stress leave and applications are filled.
My best friend wants to open a small business and asking me if I want to go on board with him. I am thinking to on a stress leave (which I still get 80% of my weekly salary) and quit when the business is running.
Should I feel guilty and how my current colleague might look at me?

Hi All - Looking for some advice. My ex and I had issues for the last three months that we had been trying to fix. During this time she developed feelings for another guy and told me and we tried to work through it together. this past monday she told me that she still has feelings and we broke up due to her not being able to put it all into us or know what she wants. We have talked all week and she loves me and sees a future but still doesn’t know what she wants and wants us both to try and move on. this weekend she made clear she is going out with her friends but doesn’t have intentions of hooking up with anyone but if it happens it happens. she explained that she has never been a sex or oral person and that’s all she said. she wants to find herself but the problem is this guy is our mutual friend.
I am afraid she will hook up with him and then want me back. I explained if she hooked up with him i wouldn’t be able to look past this. how do i handle this? i know i will have anxiety the whole time she is at the bars etc til the next day when she tells me what she did if anything.

Her affair actually ended. She had lied to me and told me it had ended months earlier. She wanted to apologize. The divorce is in the works. Court date at the end of the month.
I wasn’t sure about meeting with her. Every time we met/talked it absolutely ruined my week. I reluctantly agreed.
She informed me that she has come out of a fog and she realizes how poorly she had treated me. She said that she is worried that she may have ruined any chance at an amicable relationship for our son.
I started to get upset and she couldn’t deal with it. She got up and left. Nothing has changed. I have never been given the grace to express my negative emotions. I have always had to walk on eggshells.
I sat reflecting on the experience and I thought I don’t need to be giving of myself to someone who keeps hurting me.
Throughout this whole order Al, I have never raised my voice, if I wasn’t crying, I have remained cool and calm around her.
I got so angry that she came to apologize and didn’t give me to opportunity to be mad at her. This is upsetting. Being mad is what a normal person would be in this situation.
I sent her this message (this is the first message I have ever sent her about our relationship)
“Here is everything I wanted to say to you tonight.
Damn you for blowing up our family and Meng’s family. Things weren’t easy, but they were objectively better than a year prior. We were in a hard season of our marriage. Just look back at all the fucking major life stressors. Baby, moving, new jobs…1,2,3 of the hardest things for couples to whether. You threw it all away so you could have butterflies and tingles. Then you went back and Cherry-picked all the bad shit and rolled it up into a beautiful affair justification. I believe that you were struggling before you cheated, but even your stories aren’t consistent. You didn’t want to end our marriage until you fucked John.
I wasn’t “happy” either Keri. You hadn’t approached me for intimacy either. I longed for it, but it felt gross being the only one to make advances. Every time I tried to bring it up, you would clam up and shut down, so I didn’t want to upset you and somehow make it worse. I maybe brought up our sex life 4 or 5 times over the course of our marriage and you shut down that conversation every time. It was better for me to live a life without the expectation of sex and maintain a loving relationship with my partner rather than risk upsetting you with another attempt at “the talk”.
I never wanted a sexless marriage, but I was willing to compromise. Yes, marriage is about compromise. I tried to make connection with you, I did everything we talked about in therapy. I called you during the day, I rubbed your feet on the couch, I came to bed with you most nights to talk hoping you would give me a signal that you wanted to be intimate. I’m glad you were able to find someone you wanted to have sex with.
I couldn’t get openly upset at anything (especially you) and tell you how I felt because you shut down and withdraw. You do it to you mom. You do it to your dad. I know because I talked to them more often than you did. You did it tonight! As soon as it became uncomfortable, you just left. Everyone who loves you has to walk on fucking egg-shells or else Keri is going to walk away.
I wasn’t perfectly happy either and I had nurses throwing themselves at me since we set foot in a hospital. I managed not to fuck anyone else. I SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN EVERY TIME. let me know if you want specific examples. I could even give you names.
You say you were miserable like that is some kind of excuse. If you were so miserable then you should have just ended the marriage and not fucked John and caused me the most incomprehensible suffering and pain.
You also were unfaithful to Our son when you chose to do this. You robbed him of the chance to have an intact family for your crotch tingles.
You can tell yourself whatever story you need to live with yourself. Go ahead and tell yourself that this doesn’t count as an affair since you were already over the marriage. Make me out to be some awful person. I known you can’t be the villain in your own story apparently. You have written yourself into the hero or victim roll. I was there for all the gaslighting and blame shifting. I remember when you said “I don’t let you be your true self”. What the fuck is that. What a stretch. I never once discouraged you from doing anything you wanted or liked. I supported your every endeavor. I watched your child as you went off to conferences to fuck other men. I know that you 100% believe it. You’ve gaslighted yourself. You’ve reinvented and reshaped your reality and story to make it more palatable.
I am not a bad person, father, or husband, but I was quite broken. Predominantly due to emotional and physical abandonment in our marriage.
You seldom said “I love you” unless I said it first. You seldom expressed appreciation for the things I contributed. You did often suggest that it wasn’t enough, or that I was missing the mark. You broke me down. What I needed was for you to come to me and tell me you were concerned. Instead you were inpatient and irritated. When I was anxious or sad, you were irritated and wanted me to figure out my own shit. I was lonely as hell.
As I said, and seemingly so offensive to you, initially I had never felt as loved and as appreciated by another person before you. (I believe you said it made you feel “vapid”). In addition to your other amazing qualities at the time, your love and devotion was reassuring and made me feel safe and secure. It set you apart from every other person I had ever met. I remember thinking that I had never really known what true love was until I met you. I genuinely felt like I had found my missing piece, my other half.
When that went away, I started to get sick. I mistakenly related my self-worth to what you thought of me. When you stopped appreciating me, I plummeted. Once our son was born, it seemed like I couldn’t do anything right by you. That is a hard place to exist in.
I made WILLING sacrifices for our family, but they were sacrifices nonetheless. You have to appreciate, my life is absolutely not where I wanted it so that you could have what you wanted. Fuck! I am such a fucking chump. I didn’t put up a fight at all. I wanted California, you said no. I wanted Oregon, you said no. I wanted to stay in Philidelphia, you said no. You wanted West Virginia and I said Ok. I never put up a fight because you would most assuredly shut down.
I am a good man. I have good morals. I am committed. I have my faults and struggles and I’m not perfect, but I’m a hell of a father and I loved you. You said it yourself that you would never have to worry about me cheating on you.
I think you feel guilt. You expressed that tonight, but I don’t think you feel remorse. You weren’t asking for forgiveness. I’m fact, you preemptively said that you didn’t expect it!
I am so unbelievably sad, angry, and betrayed. I would have been willing to work through anything (even the fucking infidelity!) to preserve our family. You’re naive if you think you can hurt someone this bad and then get the relationship you want and on your terms.
You also destroyed all the good memories I had of us. I can’t look back on our marriage without seeing through the lens of suspicion. I don’t even know what was real. I know what I felt was real and that’s about it.
You probably have already stopped reading this and I’m 100% sure you’re not brave enough to respond. I have held back for nearly 6 months and I can’t anymore. What you did was fucking terrible. It is the worst thing anyone has ever done to me. It is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I never knew this depth of sorrow was possible. Washing someone’s dishes while they planned their next conference-fuck-fest via text standing 6ft away from me. Crying because my entire world was falling apart and seeing the look of irritation on your face as you walk silently by. Barely holding on to existence and having to psych myself up because you had invited friends over for dinner and when I said I couldn’t do it, you said “do whatever you want”. You fucking hated me for reasons you invented. You were working as hard as you could to villainize me to live with yourself. The absolute contempt and complete loss of respect you had to have for me. Do yourself a favor and pick up a book on infidelity. Everything you did was ON SCRIPT! You’ll learn a lot about yourself. It takes a special broken person to cheat.
I’m climbing out to the other side of this one rung at a time. Your going to see a complete different person that isn’t going to be walked all over and taken advantage of. I will not be a doormat. I will speak my mind. I will not be afraid to stand up for the things that I want and need to be happy and healthy.
You are losing a really good man. Maybe you’ll never realize that. Maybe you don’t give a fuck. Maybe it’s not even a loss to you. I am the fucking prize here Keri. I am a smart, charming, motivated, good looking, and now fit/healthy surgeon who is an excellent father and wants more kids. I am the fucking prize. You don’t see that for some reason.
I’m around if you want to talk.
Kind regards,
Me

Y'all 😅 I literally had to find the reddit page for Ragnarok cause idk if any of my friends have played it and I just cracked up in the car and someone else has to imagine this 🤣 I just finished Ragnarok again and am playing through on a harder difficulty to get ready for another game and to find all the things in Ragnarok -- but I finished it and Atreus just went on his journey and reminded Kratos to remember their promise ( their promise being when they're gone from each other they'll both remember each others voice in their heads ) --- and today I'm listening to I Miss You by Blink 182 and the line "You're already the voice inside my head" linked Ragnarok into the picture because I just heard them say that last night in Ragnarok and my mind decided Kratos was gonna sing this like the teenage version of us that used to scream this and I lost it 🤣🤣🤣

I don't think I'll ever be as successful as my older or younger sibling - they've always been much smarter than I am in every subject. Right now I'm doing A-Levels and I know I won't get grades like my older sister would've if it wasn't for her mental health, like I didn't get grades like hers in GCSEs. Now my younger sibling is about to do GCSEs next year, and he's doing so much better than I ever did, and my older sister is doing amazing in uni. Meanwhile I'm doing pretty awful in some of my mock exams, and it takes a TON of studying to even get a C, way more than my siblings have to - my first exam is tomorrow and I have this feeling I'll get a lower grade than I need. I know my parents love me but they're smarter than me in every way too, and probably were when they were my age.
It's not just that they're smarter than me but also my older sister can sing when I can't hold a note, act when I never could despite really wanting to be able to, my younger sibling can draw amazingly when mine look disgraceful, and I used to think I could write pretty well but it's nothing compared to what my younger sibling can write. They're also really charming and easy to talk to when I'm much more shy and awkward. I was bullied and generally disliked for years and even though now I'm in college (UK college, we call US college uni here) I get along pretty well with everyone, it basically took a whole year for me to be able to talk to my classmates properly and now soon whether I end up getting into one of my unis of choice or start a full-time job or retake instead, it'll probably take me forever to adjust again and be able to talk to people normally.
My siblings are better at me than anything I've ever tried. Church choir? I was awful, older sister was amazing, younger sibling was pretty good. Dance? I was terrible, but my older sister really should've stuck with it because she was great. Swimming? Both my siblings swim well, I'm terrible at it. Piano? I was stuck on my Prep Test for years while my siblings were doing grades. It has always been awful and humiliating, especially considering we were always in these activities at the same time. When I was younger, I remember never wanting to tell my younger sibling if I found something I enjoyed because if it was a game, he would immediately be much better at it than me, and if it was a hobby/interest, he'd begin understanding it or knowing it better than me right away. I also always dreaded racing my siblings because I'd always come last or anything even slightly sportsy as my coordination has always been nonexistent.
My younger sibling is also pretty great at sports while I can't even run in a straight line, and at the very least my older sister was great at netball. They're both much prettier than me - EVERYONE talks about how beautiful my older sister is, and she's really talented at fashion and make up; so many people must've been into her, and I've heard about quite a few. My younger sibling doesn't realise it but he's naturally really beautiful too - he's growing tall and he looks very athletic and handsome, and it's why so many of his friends and classmates have had crushes on him, along with his awesome personality. Nobody has ever really found me attractive in the way they find them attractive, and none of my relationships/situationships have ever resulted in any physical contact beyond a hug. They're also both way funnier than me, no matter how hard I try. Sometimes I worry our relatives might love them more than me because there is just so much more to love.
I know I might just be paranoid as I was bullied in primary school the whole time (partially due to being awkward and probably partially due to twitching my hands and pulling stupid faces when daydreaming - which happened way too often) and extremely unpopular in secondary school for pretty much the same reasons, having few friends and even fewer non-fake ones. But my siblings never got bullied - they were both pretty popular in primary school, and my older sister was in secondary school, too. My younger sibling isn't as popular but has massive friendship groups and could get along with pretty much anyone easily.
I want to think there is anything I can do that I might be good at that my siblings aren't, but I don't think it will ever happen for me. They are very talented and intelligent and beautiful and I love them a lot. Our parents are also much more smart and talented than me so I feel like I can't talk to them about it as they wouldn't understand.
I know my family loves me, but I'm not as good as my siblings and I just don't know how to deal with that

Some quick background, my mother passed around five years ago. I was the only one who had intention's of living in the family home, and given that, my grandmother had her and my mother's name on the deed replaced with my own. My father, though not intending to stay there due to the memories wrapped up in it, retained his name on the deed and the mortgage. I'm currently paying him half the mortgage payment monthly. He did eventually move back in, and we currently have the the two floors of the house split of duplex style. We remodeled the downstairs to include everything he needed without having to see his old family space.
Present day, I need some way to acquire money for some home repairs and improvements. I've been debating a Home Improvement loan vs. a HELOC, and it seems for the latter I would need to see about getting myself added to the mortgage if I wanted to manage it without my father's constant input. I'm wondering if getting added is possible without renegotiating the terms of the mortgage? We've only got some odd $25,000 left on it, and wouldn't want to mess up our payment or interest rate if it can be avoided.
Barring that, what would be my next best bet? There are a lot of needed repairs around my house that needed to be addressed ideally in the next year or two, and I would really like to get the ball rolling now.

Hi Everyone! I posted this on Colognes but figured I’d share here, too.
I’ve always loved good smelling stuff and for the last 15 years I’ve usually had one bottle of cologne, and would replace once it’s out. Only in the last few months have I really delved into this world and began filling out a modest collection. I’m definitely not an expert (so take my reviews with a big grain of salt) but I love smelling and writing so here ya go. (Fucking wall of text incoming lmao, I didn’t realize how lengthy this got)
I just got back from a three-hour mall trip to try and get my nose on as many niche fragrances as my senses would tolerate. I had already done a good bit of research so I had some picked out to try and others already crossed-off. Im a 30M for reference.
I also had the goal in mind to find a contender for a fall/winter scent that exudes class, sophistication and decadence. For that, I’ve already tried a few that I really enjoy, and kind of used these as a springboard to continue exploring:
Xerjoff Alexandria II- This is what I envision royalty wearing. Lavender and rosewood mix soooo nice in the open, and dries into a lovey rose/vanilla/essence of oud. The oud is really toned down here for those that dislike it. It’s kind of hard to pick out. Nuclear performance.
Initio Oud for Greatness- Another good starter oud, you could say (this was my introduction to oud). It lasts forever and the dry down is seriously heavenly. The wet, soily oud is at the forefront for 2-4 hours, but I’m absolutely in love with what’s left when it disappears. Lavender, saffron, nutmeg and musk mixes into the best dryer-sheet-like scent I’ve come across (what it reminds ME of at least).
Perfums de Marly Haltane- Quite similar in the opening to Oud for Greatness. Haltane is darker, though, where I get more leathesmoke. I think the oud in this is more subdued, or at least less moist smelling. It blends well and lasts a good while.
Initio Atomic Rose- Holy shit. Apparently rose gets my motor GOING. I tried a lot of rose-centric fragrances today, but this probably still takes the cake for its balance and strength, in addition to the scent itself being just gorgeous.
So with those in mind I was off to Neiman Marcus. I sampled a large amount more than what I’ve written, but stuck to the ones that were memorable; good or bad.
Frederic Malle - Portrait of a Lady- My favorite of the Frederic Malle. Sensual rose/clove/currant at the front, but it is kind of hard to pick out specific notes on this one. After looking, I can get the cinnamon in the background of the dry down, it blends perfectly with the sandalwood, rose and benzoin after drying down. - Carnal Flower- Some similarity to POAL, lots of tuberose and jasmine, which I personally like. A bright yet sensual floral, and you get some coconut and melon there, too. I typically dislike coconut but this is blended masterfully. - Lipstick Rose- Yeah, that’s what it smells like. Try this if you’ve seen people describe scents as lipstick-y or violet taking on that accord. Not my cup of tea, also leans more feminine to my nose than the other two. - Musc Ravageur- I really wanted to like this one. And for a split second I did! A clove-y vanilla sasparilla is what I first got, and it unfortunately turned into barnyard urine. I immediately remembered seeing some reviews stating this, and I couldn’t get my nose to move past it. I can tell there’s good stuff there, but not for me.
Amouage - Reflection- The only one I’d tried before, and remains one of my favs. Rosemary and pink pepper greet you with a deep, fresh spice. The vetiver and patchouli sit nicely at the bottom, and the combination of white florals mixes wonderfully. Another scent I could imagine on royalty, and seems pretty versatile, too. You could wear this year-round without feeling out of place. Insane staying power. - Lyric- Probably my favorite, but I need to smell again on another day. Compared to the other Amouage, I had to continually stick my nose in the coffe beans to pick up the scent from the test strip. When I did get it, it was a lovely light, fresh scent. Quite a departure from the other Amouage I’ve tried, but great. No surprise, the list of notes are some of my favorites: lime, bergamot, rose, orange blossom, saffron, nutmeg, musk, pine, vanilla, incense, sandalwood. Seriously, love each and all those individually and they come together beautifully. - Interlude- Another good one. Dark, mysterious. Definitely get the oregano/peppepatchouli/incense bomb off the top. Leather lurking behind. I typically don’t gravitate toward the leathery scents but this one’s good. - Enclave- This pretty much seals the deal for me that on me, mint just ain’t it. I liked Sedley at first, but the mint somehow gets too cloying to my nose after too long. I can tell I would get the same from the peppermint in the opening of Enclave. I almost liked this one, too. If you can even tolerate peppermint, you’ll enjoy this one.
Mind Games - Blockade- Wowww. First sniff love, here. Explosion of citrus, juicy fruit-y sex. I usually find myself staying away from citrus-forward scents but this shit is next level. This will be a contender for my next upscale summer buy. - Double Attack- Another love at first sniff. It’s familiar, though. Chocolate/orange/cinnamon/vanilla. You’ll want to eat it right up. I already have this box checked in my collection, but may come back to it in the future. - Checkmate- Another lovely scent. Champagne, red currant, rose, magnolia, little patchouli. It all comes together really nicely, and it was difficult for me to pick out specific notes before looking. Not a love, but I was really impressed with the quality and scent profile of the Mind Games I tried.
Clive Christian - Town & Country- Wow. No seriously, like fucking wow. Smells like an Italian fruit cart strolling through an English manor’s sprawling garden road. I look at the notes and I don’t understand how you get this smell supposedly out of Clary Sage, Ambergris, and Sandalwood. Like, what? This is high quality shit. I get some pear or grapes there, too. Try this. - Crab Apple Blossom- Yum yum yum this is goooood. Smells like it sounds. Bergamot, apple blossom and rhubarb dance around playfully together. Can’t help but have a big stupid smile on your face when you smell this. The more it dried down, the more it might be my favorite over Town & Country. - Matsukita- Another great scent. In the same vein as the other two since they are part of the same “Crown Collection.” You get some smokiness, here. Bergamot with nutmeg and mate give depth and a little mystery. White florals, woody ambers and musk at the base. Just quality stuff here. All three of these in the Crown Collection were available in 10ml travel size gift pack for $300. Good idea to put on my wish list. That shit is kiiiinda expensive.
Xerjoff - Erba Pura- I did not expect to like this as much as I did! Favorite that I sampled. Perfect combination of citrus and fruitiness off the top, layered over a bed of sweet musk. Something here is very familiar to my nose but I couldn’t place it. This will be another top contender for a future upscale summer purchase. - Accento- Soothing scent. Fruity white floral (usually dumb reach for me), and the iris gives it some powder but not overpowering. Not as feminine-leaning as I would have expected. - Iommi- Delicious! Sweet smoky rum off the top, and it’s a little surprising how forward the patchouli and leather is in this. It’s bordering on being a little overpowering, but it tames a bit on the dry down. I’d need to see how this goes on my skin, for sure. - Torino 21- Another one that I liked way more than expected. I’m going back and seeing mint listed as a top note here…I didn’t get that! And thank God since mint usually is a non-starter. Kind of an aquatic green to my nose. Again, just a lovely scent. - Naxos- Yeah ok this is good shit. I was expecting a sweet bomb, but this is definitely more restrained than what a lot of reviewers will have you believe. I’m a sucker for lavender and bergamot. Throw in honey and jasmine atop a bed of tobacco, vanilla and tonka bean? Yes please. - Erba Gold- Pretty good. To my nose more feminine than Erba Pura, likely due to the extra fruits in the middle. That combination of citruses, pear and melon is reminiscent of particular ladies’ scents.
Louis Vuitton - L’Immensité- Ohhhh yeahh. Relaxation in a bottle. My favorite besides maybe Fleur du Desert. This, Imagination and Météore all kind of dance to the same song, so to speak. More than one of these would be redundant, in my opinion. The quality speaks through each of these fragrances, though- really nice stuff. - Imagination- The name fits, as a lot of the notes here are almost fleeting like a word on the tip of your tongue. It’s a great, calming scent but it didn’t blow me away. Like I said, L’Immensité was the best of these and I don’t see the need to diversify within this collection. - Météore- Compared to L’Immensité, there’s a little more sweetness here. This leans closer to a shower gel-like scent in my opinion. Still great. - Fleur du Désert- This one started out reallly good. Honey and cinnamon into rose and orange blossom is an intriguing, sensual combination. Unfortunately, smelling it on my arm after a couple hours, the jasmine and honey turn into something my mind recognizes as an old lady scent. The POAL on my hand, by comparison, keeps mixing with my skin in a great pheromonic way. - Ombre Nomad- Disappointed with this one. I’m realizing I don’t gravitate toward darker scents like heavy oud, leather, incense. I can tell it’s put together really well and uses quality materials, but this isn’t one that was made for me.
All in all, my main take-aways include: Xerjoff scents living up to the name. I was definitely impressed with their offerings, and would have expected it to lean closer to overrated. Same with Mind Games. Really enjoyed everything I sampled from them, even if it wasn’t my cup of tea, I was impressed with the quality. Also, I need to get back and sample the rest of the Clive Christian house. I was absolutely blown away with what I tried.
A little bonus: I tried TF Noir de Noir, Extreme Noir, and Cafe Rose. Extreme Noir is excellent. A regal mix of saffron, nutmeg and cardamom on top of rose and white florals. Ahhhh, again, similar to what I imagine a king or king to smell like.
Cafe Rose is probably the second best rose-centric scent to my nose besides Atomic Rose. I’ll need to put those side by side.
Anyway, feel free to ask away if you’d like. I was bored and inspired so killed some time writing this out :)

Just opened YouTube and noticed that I got logged out so I logged back in only to see a pop-up saying that my channel was deleted for "repeated violations of our spam, deceptive practices and scams policy". Never uploaded anything and I only wrote a few comments & liked a few dozens of videos throughout like a decade.
Recently, I only used it to listen to my playlists and I guess looping them overnight might be the culprit? I appealed and I hope it will be brought back because I lost all my recent playlists as well as my liked videos and basically everything else.
So, just a little warning / friendly reminder: please always back up your playlists the moment you create them. You may also want to consider creating a separate channel just for subliminals so that nothing else (such as all your liked videos) gets lost.

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Reddit Account: aelfin
Discord Tag: Bolt1219
Name and House: Dorian Hightower
Age: 80
Cultural Group: Reachman
Appearance: Once tall and strong and proud -- a knight of renown -- the passage of time has seen fit to humble Dorian Hightower. The gold-brown hair of his youth has bleached to silver, his countenance marked by wrinkles. He wears his hair long, often unbound that it frames his features. His beard is neatly styled. Despite the betrayal of his body, Dorian's eyes remain sharp and quick, and his smile is that of a younger man.
Trait: Mastermind
Skill(s): Devious(e), Espionage(e), Assassin
Talent(s): Napping, Meandering, Gardening
Negative Trait(s): Sickly
Starting Title(s): Beacon of the South, Defender of Oldtown, Defender of the Citadel, Lord of Oldtown, Lord of the Hightower, Lord of the Port, Voice of Oldtown
Starting Location: Starting Event
Alternate Characters: n/a
Biogaphy Early Life
In 55BC, under a golden sun in the bustling city of Oldtown, Dorian Hightower was born the second son to Lord Leyton Hightower and his wife Leona Bulwer. His early childhood was marked by a sense of curiosity and an inherent noble pride that was expected of a Hightower; against a backdrop filled with the sounds of the bustling harbour, the smell of the sea, and the sight of a forest of sails coming and going. Oft he would watch the ships as they sailed away and wondered where they went
From a young age, Dorian showed a keen interest in learning and the world around him. His education was that expected of one of his lineage; lessons with the Maester were as important as that of his martial education. At just ten, he was sent to Highgarden to squire for House Gardener. There, amidst the vibrant gardens and rich traditions of the Reach, he learned the values of chivalry, honour, and the importance of duty. His time at Highgarden left a lasting impression on him, fostering a deep respect for the knightly traditions that would shape his later life -- which would make the later actions of the Tyrells sting all the more,
At one-and-seven, Dorian’s path took a scholarly turn. Sent to study at the Citadel, immersed in the halls of knowledge, he began forging his maester's chain, dedicating himself to the studies of copper for history, bronze for astronomy, and iron for warcraft. His mentors noted a sharp intellect and strategic mind, qualities that would serve him well in the years to come.
The Heir to the Hightower
In 35 BC, a marriage united Dorian with Leila Tarly, a match both strategic and affectionate. At the age of twnety Dorian became a father, welcoming his first child, Garlan, into the world. Over the years, the Hightower family grew with the births of Garmund, Delena, Owen, and Lynesse. Each child brought new joy and responsibility, shaping Dorian into a devoted father and a wise lord.
The Stranger visited the Hightowers in 20 BC, when Dorian's older brother, Leyton, the heir to the Hightower, was lost in a shipwreck while returning from a journey to Braavos. At five-and-twenty, Dorian was thrust into the role of heir, a position he had not anticipated. Embracing his new responsibilities with determination, he began learning the intricacies of rule, administration, and justice from his father. Living in Oldtown, the heart of the Faith of the Seven, also imparted a deep spiritual awareness in Dorian. The more he learned, the more he was put into positions of authority. Initially undertaking a role as his father's Steward, Dorian learned quickly that he was much too bored by numbers to be anything close to competent. He was better at dealing with people.
Through his dealings his network grew, and this network, he recognised, could be turned toward the flow of information. The ships he had watched as a boy carried trade, but they also carried words from half the world away. If he could find a way to hear those words before any else, he'd have an advantage -- not only in trade, but in politics as well. Setting to work, Dorian used his House's name to tour as often as he could, finding those in key places that would serve his ends for the right price.
Life and Trials
As the head of House Hightower, Dorian instilled in his family a profound sense of fairness and the importance of knightly traditions. He stressed the values of chivalry and gallantry, ensuring that these principles were deeply rooted in the Hightower legacy. His household became known for its adherence to these values, earning respect and admiration throughout the Reach.
He was an avid hunter, frequently organising grand hunting expeditions in the lands surrounding Oldtown. Not merely for sport, these hunts also served as opportunities to bond with his children and vassals. One notable hunt saw Dorian bring down a formidable stag, a feat that became legendary in his household.
Dorian’s daughter Delena married Harlan Tyrell after a secret tryst, a match that Dorian did not initially support but ultimately was forced to accept. His youngest daughter, Lynesse, found a husband in Willem Ryger. A man whom Dorian had mentored in the art of espionage, and who would later go on to prove the most succesful spymaster in the country.
Feasts at the Hightower were grand affairs, known throughout the Reach for their opulence and hospitality. Dorian believed in the power of communal gatherings, often using these occasions to strengthen alliances and resolve disputes. The harvest feast was a particularly notable event, drawing his vassals to Oldtown to celebrate the bounty of the land, and to reaffirm their loyalty to House Hightower.
From the Ashes:
Family life, however, was not without its hardships, and the Hightowers not immune to tragedy. The House faced a profound loss when Garlan, Dorian's eldest son, was killed on the Field of Fire, turned to ash by dragonfire. This tragedy left Garlan's young son, Gwayne, as Dorian's heir, a heavy burden for the grieving boy to bear at such a young age. By then Dorian was a man nearing his sixtieth decade, not young by any stretch, and so particularly attension was paid to Gwayne's education near to the exclusion of all else. A small army of learned men were brought in to cover every aspect that would eventually be required of him. Dorian hardly went anywhere without his grandson in tow. The Seven Kingdoms might have been united, but the dawn of this new age was eclipsed by Dorian's fears that he would pass before his heir was ready, and he had known many a House felled by the poorly equipped.
Dorian levied from Lord Hightower against House Costayne of having refused the call to rally at Oldtown, backed by the word of the High Septon. A host marched on Three Towers but was met with denial from Lord Costayne who eventually demanded a trial by combat. Gyles Gardener offered himself as champion, and for his victory was given rule over Three Towers, with the fallen lord’s kin being exiled to Essos. Aegon Targaryen was crowned in the Starry Sept upon their return.
In 8AC, a band of sellswords by the name of the Black Roses arrived in Oldtown, headed up by Harlon Costayne, offering cheap mercenaries for the city and protection for its trade. Dorian put to them a challenge, a trial by combat to determine if the Seven stood with the Roses. Pit against a knight of Oldtown, the Black Roses emerged the victorious party, and Dorian issued them leave to remain so long as they served the Reach and her interests.
25AC
Life is a loan, and eventually all men's accounts are settled in full. Having passed into his eightieth year, Dorian Hightower knows the end is nearing for him. Age wracks his body, though his mind remains sharp. He has prepared his grandson as best as he could have done, and all that remains is the wait until his last, content in the knowledge. For the first time in a decade, the Lord of the Hightower has descended from his perch and travels towards King's Landing.
Timeline:
55 BC - Birth of Dorian Hightower

• Born in Oldtown under a golden sun, second son to Lord Leyton Hightower and Leona Bulwer.
• Early childhood filled with curiosity and noble pride, amidst the bustling harbor and forest of sails.

45 BC - Dorian Sent to Highgarden

• At ten, Dorian begins to squire for House Gardener at Highgarden.
• Learns values of chivalry, honor, and duty which leave a lasting impression.

38 BC - Scholarly Pursuits at the Citadel

• At seventeen, Dorian studies at the Citadel.
• Forges his maester's chain with links of copper (history), bronze (astronomy), and iron (warcraft).

35 BC - Marriage to Leila Tarly

• Dorian marries Leila Tarly, a strategic and affectionate match.

35 BC - 30 BC - Birth of Children

• Garlan Hightower is born when Dorian is twenty.
• Followed by Garmund, Delena, Owen, and Lynesse over the next five years.

20 BC - Death of Leyton Hightower

• Dorian's older brother Leyton dies in a shipwreck, making Dorian the heir at twenty-five.
• Dorian starts learning rule, administration, and justice from his father, becoming his Steward.

15 BC - 10 BC - Expansion of Dorian's Network

• Dorian uses House Hightower's name and tours frequently to build a network for intelligence.

10 BC - Dorian Becomes Lord Hightower

• Dorian instills values of fairness and knightly traditions in his family.
• Known for organizing grand hunting expeditions and legendary feats.

5 BC - Marriage of Daughters

• Delena marries Harlan Tyrell after a secret tryst.
• Lynesse marries Willem Ryger, a man mentored by Dorian.

5 BC - 1 BC - Grand Feasts and Gatherings

• Feasts at the Hightower are renowned for their opulence and hospitality.
• The harvest feast draws vassals to Oldtown to celebrate and reaffirm loyalty.

0 AC - Tragedy at the Field of Fire

• Garlan, Dorian's eldest son, is killed in battle.
• Garlan's son, Gwayne, becomes Dorian's heir, leading to intense focus on his education.

5 AC - Conflict with House Costayne

• Dorian accuses House Costayne of refusing to rally at Oldtown.
• A host marches on Three Towers; Lord Costayne demands trial by combat.
• Gyles Gardener wins and takes rule over Three Towers.

8 AC - Arrival of the Black Roses

• The Black Roses, a sellsword company, arrives in Oldtown.
• Dorian issues them a trial by combat; they emerge victorious and are allowed to stay.

25 AC - Dorian Prepares for the End

• Travels to King's Landing for the first time in a decade, content with his preparations.

AC
Name and House: Gwayne Hightower
Age: 30
Cultural Group: Reachman
Appearance: Gwayne stands the perfect example of the Hightower ideal; in him are the echoes of his father and his grandfather and the knightly traditions of the Hightower. He boasts hazel-hued eyes that are dominant green, alight with curiosity. His hair seems to shfit between a gold and a shade dark brown dependant on the light. Oft seen in the colours of his house; smoke greys cut with whites or greens.
Trait: Champion,
Skill(s): Swords, Andal Knight(e)
Talent(s): Hunting, Hawking, Harp
Negative Trait(s): n/a
Starting Title(s): Heir to the Hightower, Ser
Starting Location: Starting Event
Alternate Characters:n/a
Family Tree: https://www.familyecho.com/#view:SZ32K
Biography:
Born in 5BC, the firstborn son to Garlan Hightower, Gwayne was bathed in a viridescent light, anointed with the seven oils and named in the rainbow of light that filled the sept in the Hightower. This act alone is reserved for the heirs to the Hightower, a ceremony to mark them from birth as defenders of the Faith. His early life was a happy one, though he recalls little of the time. His mother and father were truly in love. Only two years later after his birth would his brother follow, and their two sisters after them. His grandfather's hall and hearth was filled with the laughter of children.
It was Garlan Hightower who held command of the Hightower host the fateful day that dragonfire swept across the Field of Fire, who perished there on the field, and whose bones were turned to ash and no longer able to be laid to rest. Gwayne was too young to grasp the reality of it, and before long his Grandfather had him learning with such intensity that he hardly had time to process the fact his father wasn't coming home.
Life turned into a steady routine of learning. His lessons consisted of how to act at court, his histories, his number and letters, and martial training in the yard. He would be woken before the dawn and not be permitted to bed until the sun had slipped away and night had fallen. Recklessly bold, oft he would attempt to climb the exterior of the Hightower and be scolded for the act if discovered.
His first true test at arms came when in the form of pirates. They had made their home in a cove and would strike out at ships fat and ripe with goods. Gwayne rode out with a small band of men, headed up by his uncle, Owen. For a week they scoured the coastline looking for signs of their quarry, and eventually, one night, sky unclouded and stars bright, they saw the fires. Come the dawn the charge of the Reachmen sent the pirates srambling for their weapons, and though they put up a fight, they were cut down to a man and their ships burned. Of those that surrendered, they would hang at the port in Oldtown as a stark reminder. For his bravery Gwayne was given their Valyrian Steel sword, Vigilance, upon his return.
He would seek out his glory in the lists after that, travelling the length of the Seven Kingdoms looking to make his name as a knight. Tourney followed tourney, but at each stop he remembered to paya visit to the local Sept and offer prayer. He lent a hand where he could. Sometimes he found friends, sometimes he found foe.
When the Orphans of the Fire descended on the Reach, Gwayne wished to march out and chase them down, but Dorian refused him -- and as well he did, for the chaos wrought by the Orphans might have claimed him, and Dorian was adamant that he would not lose another heir to fire. The inaction rankled at Gwayne, but he heeded his grandfather's words all the same.
Now, in 25AC, with Dorian ailing and a celebration called, Gwayne travels toward the event and prepares himself for what may come.
Timeline: 5 BC - Birth of Gwayne Hightower

• Born as the firstborn son to Garlan Hightower in the Hightower.
• Anointed with the seven oils and named in a ceremony reserved for heirs, marking him as a defender of the Faith.

3 BC - Birth of Gwayne's Brother

• Gwayne's brother is born, followed by two sisters, filling their grandfather's hall with children's laughter.

0 AC - Death of Garlan Hightower

• Gwayne's father, Garlan, perishes in the Field of Fire.
• Gwayne, too young to fully understand, is immersed in intense learning by his grandfather, Dorian Hightower.

1 AC - 15 AC - Intensive Education and Martial Training

• Gwayne's routine includes court etiquette, history, numbers, letters, and martial training.
• Known for his reckless boldness, he often attempts to climb the exterior of the Hightower.

15 AC - First Test of Arms Against Pirates

• Gwayne rides out with his uncle Owen and a small band of men to combat pirates.
• After a week, they locate and defeat the pirates, hanging the survivors in Oldtown.
• Gwayne is awarded the Valyrian Steel sword, Vigilance, for his bravery.

16 AC - 23 AC - Knighthood and Tournament Circuit

• Gwayne travels the Seven Kingdoms seeking glory in jousting tournaments.
• Pays visits to local Septs to offer prayers and help where needed, making friends and foes along the way.

20 AC - Orphans of the Fire Incident

• The Orphans of the Fire descend on the Reach.
• Gwayne wishes to march out but is restrained by Dorian, preventing potential harm.

25 AC - Current Events

• With Dorian ailing, Gwayne prepares for a celebration in King's Landing, aware of the responsibilities and challenges ahead.

My boyfriend (24 m) went on a travel group trip by himself while I (24 f) stayed him due to not having a passport and him being under stress.
He was supposed to come home on the day of my birthday but now he’s telling me he extended the trip, to not arrive until after my birthday.
He at first told me it was because he got sick but than later that day told me the real reason was because he wanted to stay with the rest of the group that was staying for an extra couple of days. I told him I knew that was the reason as soon as he told me about getting sick. He said that he completely forgot that it was my birthday and that he wouldn’t have done it if he remembered, which I do not know if I believe. I told him how upset and hurt I was and he said that he was sorry and would make it up to me.
My friends are telling me to not talk to him for the remainder of his trip until he’s home. I am not sure if that is the right thing to do though, maybe only a day of no talking would be okay.
Just need help on figuring out how to feel. I know that maybe if the trip was not during my birthday I wouldn’t mind as much so that is making me feel as though I should cut him some slack. Since he’s there and it’s a long journey but I am not sure how to even feel.

• he is the type to not remember any dates, his mother and fathers birthday, siblings etc. not an excuse just thought an important detail.

Thanks guys!

Being heartbroken is such a hard feeling to overcome. It’s been around a week, everything is just like yesterday, and everything reminds me of her all the time. I went through the initial denying to anger and sadness till now acceptance, but it’s the acceptance through a painful way. I start developing a drinking habits, and becoming my coping mechanism (I didn’t drink at all in the past). I tried to make friends, doing my interests to occupy my mind but whenever my mind becomes free, everything hunts me down once again. I don’t know who should I approach and tell all these. But I guess Reddit is the only place I can think of now. 😔

"The Worst of You" by Sarah Richards is a profound meditation of friendship, forgiveness, and the intricacies of human relationships. The novel revolves around the lives of three childhood friends - Emma, Grace, and Hannah - whose bond is tested when a devastating catastrophe threatens to split them apart.
As the story continues, secrets are uncovered, and long-buried resentments come to the surface, compelling the characters to confront their past and the roles they played in shaping each other's lives. Through alternate perspectives, Richards masterfully explores the complexities of friendship and the ways in which misunderstandings and betrayals can have enduring ramifications.
One of the novel's strengths rests in its well-developed characters, each with their own flaws, fears, and redeeming traits. Emma, Grace, and Hannah are likable and multidimensional, and readers will find themselves rooting for them as they navigate the trials of adulthood.
Richards' writing is evocative and emotionally resonant, bringing readers into the lives of her characters with vivid descriptions and authentic conversation. The novel's themes of forgiveness and redemption are handled with sensitivity and nuance, reminding readers of the need of empathy and understanding in overcoming previous injuries.
Overall, "The Worst of You" is an engaging and thought-provoking novel that tackles the difficulties of friendship and the power of forgiveness. With its well-drawn characters, fascinating storyline, and emotional depth, it's destined to resonate with readers long after they've turned the final page.
Free Audiobook with a free trial of Audible at freeaudiobookstrial .com

Hello so for context, I am a female and my roommate is a female and we have been living together for almost 2 years now. We met each other about a couple years ago while working and hit it off really well and so we decided to move in together, I feel like I’ve overstepped my duties as a roommate and I’m not too sure how to go about explaining that to my roommate. For the past year that we have lived together, I have helped out as much, especially with things that have come up with her car with her job helping out if she needed a little bit more money when he came down to paying the bills and I had never had any problem with it, but recently she lost her job and her car and instead of having a conversation with me to see how I would feel about her using my car and everything she pretty much got the job and is now asking me every day if she can use my car and I’m honestly just tired because I feel like I have a lot of responsibilities and I feel like her family doesn’t help her enough and I am overworking to help out as much as I can as a friend but it’s all too much ! I’m angry at myself because I shouldn’t have been so lenient but also I understand things happen so I didn’t think a whole year later I would still be in this predicament. She’s not in my insurance I have had a car accident by someone using my car and not too long ago she got a parking ticket in my car when she said she wanted to DoorDash but yet went to go to therapy in my car. She paid the ticket off but that stuff right there just don’t sit right with me . I just need some advice how do I approach this it’s long long overdue no one I know would even be allowing it to have gotten to this extent. I literally told her hey I can drop you off and pick you up when I can but she literally decided to text me early this morning 2 hours before her shift to ask to use my car knowing I had to work. The only big thing I’m worried about is the bills.. but i feel like I allowed her to feel as though she doesn’t need to look for help elsewhere I know plenty of people who had to Uber , catch the bus and she has FAMILY.. but yet doesn’t want to use those resources. My anxiety just tells me ok just let her because we have been in multiple situations where she wouldn’t have the money she would wait a whole month then towards the end be like oh I only have 200 dollars so I would try to help her figure it out she’ll give a sob story how no one helps .. she thinks I’m always here to just help when I had my half of the rent and she didn’t and she told me to go donate plasma with her so we can have her half.. like is this even a friend (I told her no) ? I feel so lost and I know it’s going to cause tension because she has anger issues but I really don’t care anymore! I really hope she can figure things out without me I care for my friend but idk I feel like she will Sabotage her paying rent .. and that’s what scares me (because I work from home and I guess I’m the only person to help her so if she can’t go to work she won’t have money and it’ll be my “fault”). She’s not a bad person she just deals with a lot mentally and I try so hard to just get her through things and right now is tough but I can’t keep allowing my sympathy get in the way of me being used.. I feel used i am a parent and the worst I could do is allow anything to happen to my car and I won’t be able to do what is needed . She swears she will pay me back and has never did it.. she had a good paying job spent thousands on wigs while knowing she owed me thousands .. nothing I push that to the side I accidentally paid more for the electric bill she said she will give me that money never heard about it again.. like if I didn’t accidentally pay the whole thing you would’ve had that money because it was due which means she deliberately used her money for herself and decided not to pay me back.. I’m not the HELP . I’m not the savior and provider I’m a ROOMMATE , advice is welcomed

Item Name Set Number: Episode I Bundaroo: Mos Espa Podrace 75380, Sith Infiltrator 75383 and Phantom Menace Brickheadz 40676
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Hi XXX, Please note that we offer our clients a 10-minute cancellation window in which they can terminate the call free of charge in case they find that this is eventually not a match. However, if the call lasts more than that, we will compensate you for the full hour. Please let us know if this is ok with you and if we can proceed.
Hi YYY, I'm writing to update you on the recent call with the client for this project. Unfortunately, the client decided to shorten the call unexpectedly due to a perceived mismatch between my experience and their study's requirements. While I'm disappointed, I wasn't able to fully assist the client as I would have hoped, the call did last slightly longer than 10 minutes, as per our agreement. Therefore, I would like to request the full compensation for the call.
Hi XXX, I have liaised with the client team in order to understand why this was eventually not a match, and indeed they confirmed that they decided to terminate the call because they understood that there was a mismatch between your expertise and the information they were looking to get. To be punctual, they informed me that the slight delay was also due to the fact that you were also slightly late to enter the call (which I indeed confirmed when monitoring the call). Please understand that we cannot charge our client for a full hour for a call that the feedback from both sides is that the call was not successful and that neither side received the expected value from the call. Since we do not get paid from our client we cannot process your payment either.
Hi YYY, Just to clarify, despite the delayed call, it still exceeded 10 minutes as per our agreement. Therefore, I would like to kindly request your assistance in escalating this case to the appropriate department within your expert network firm to ensure I receive the agreed-upon compensation.
Hi XXX, As mentioned in my previous email, we have not charged our client for this specific call. One of our core values in all partnerships we establish is to deliver value, which unfortunately was not the case here. For this reason, and as a commercial gesture we have waived the fee for this call. We believe that business relations should be established with mutual trust and value delivery, something that we are committed to do with our clients, experts, but also expect to receive in return. On top of that, I would like to highlight that we shared with you the discussion agenda before the call, where it is clearly stated that the topics our client was looking to discuss were commercially oriented, and we received your confirmation that you can contribute to these topics. Eventually, the client team informed us that your duties and expertise are not related to market related issues. Given that this was not clear on your end before the call, I hope you can understand that we will not charge our client and subsequently we cannot compensate you.
Hi YYY, I recognize that budget constraints may be a concern for you. Nevertheless, it's my conviction that the client hastened through the consultation without thoroughly exploring the areas of my expertise, which I had clearly affirmed and keep on affirming. While I have no control over your billing practices with the client but have shown flexibility by accommodating a 10-minute threshold, our agreement was explicit. Therefore, I must insist on adhering to its terms and cannot consent to any alterations without mutual agreement.
Hi XXX, Actually, I never brought forward any references to budget constraints, but rather my concern is that actually we had a specific agreement and the conditions were not met. As stated in the Terms of Engagement, which you accepted prior to the call, you should always share with us and the Client accurate information about your career history (paragraph Z), and upon being contacted by us for a project, it is your responsibility to evaluate the Scope and determine, exercising due diligence, whether or not you are able to participate in a prospective Consultation (paragraph Z). As mentioned, here the aim was clearly to get into commercially related information, while your expertise is not market related. You are only eligible for compensation if you actually contributed to the Consultation and you are not compensated for time waiting, or time set aside (paragraph Z). You are solely compensated for your time spent interacting with our Client(s) and our Client(s) have no obligation to contact you for a specific amount of time, or at all (paragraph Z), hence your argument that they hastened through the consultation without thoroughly exploring your areas of expertise is only a subjective claim on your end. Upon checking with our Transcripts team, please be informed that you and the client team members were all in the meeting room at 12.03pm while the call was terminated at 12.13pm and the total time you spent interacting was exactly 10 minutes. Taking into consideration all of the above (but even only the duration of the interaction alone) and given our explicit agreement, as per your words as well, our dispute is automatically resolved. As mentioned, I totally understand that your expectations were different, as were ours and the clients’. However, for all the reasons mentioned above, unfortunately we cannot proceed with applying charges for this call and hence process your payment.

What are your opinions on such compensation agreements and what would you suggest are the options here?