My boyfriend (M35) and I (F30) have been together for 5 years. He has a daugther who is 8 years old and she is like my own - I love her very much and she loves me, we have a great friendship. When my boyfriend and I started dating, the mother of his child wasn't very happy about this and tried everything to break us up. My boyfriend at that time was overattached to this woman and did everything she said (he still does sometimes, but it has become so much better over time). She accused me of hurting the child physically (just because she was afraid of it, nothing like this ever happened, she shouted at me for taking the father away from the child by just being in their lives etc). We managed to keep our relationship and he has developed boundaries with his ex. However, this has caused us a lot of drama, damage and fights over the period of time that we have been together - mostly because of my jealousy, fear, insecurity and a feeling that I am not as important as the mother of his child. However, I have always taken care of my boyfriend and his child - they are the world to me. I pay the full rent of our apartment that we bought together, I also buy clothes and toys for his daughter (when she is with us - approximately 10 days in a month) and food. I have tried to be the best girlfriend even though I have had several setbacks - I am not an angel and I have my bad days and my insecurities. We have travelled a lot together - to Peru, Laos, USA, half of Europe etc. We talk a lot and share our problems and success. He is my best friend.
A few years ago I had a surgery on my stomach and didn't know that the baby pills do not have effect after this kind of surgery - I got pregnant. He told me that when his daugther was born he had a lot of problems and fights with his ex, because she cancelled the baby pills without telling him and got pregnant. He told me that he doesn't want another child right now and he wanted me to do an abortion. I was afraid of ending up alone with a child and I wasn't in a good place back then so I did it - the biggest mistake of my life that I deeply regret. This, also, has been a source of tension between us.
I have noticed some changes in our relationship for some time now. A month ago we had an argument over trivial things and he told me out of the blue that he wants to break up. I asked him for some time and to discuss it again when we are both calm. We did it couple of days later and decided to give each other a second chance - he told me that he needed to do some things alone without me (like riding a bike or going out with friends) and I acknowledged that. Everyone needs space. Two days ago I found out from his daughter that my boyfriend took flowers and cake for his ex (the mother of his child) for Mother's Day and I confronted him. The woman has caused so much unnecessary damage in our relationship and it hurt me. He has brought me flowers twice during our relationship and it seemed weird. He got pissed and then told me that he has thought about breaking up for two-three weeks now and wants to do it. It shocked me because I had tried to give him space, but at the same time to help him with his daughter and things at home. During those weeks, he had told me that everything is fine and assured me that I had nothing to worry about. I am devastated.
When I ask him questions he keeps responding me with three different answers every time and it confuses me. At one point he tells me that he is like 80% sure that he wants to break up with me, then again, 5 minutes later he is telling me that he will pack his things tomorrow, then he says that he wants to come and celebrate my father's birthday next day because he likes my family (even though he just said that he wanted to leave me)... I am so confused. We decided to take a break and agreed to talk about our relationship and what is going to happen in 4 days - he still keeps saying that he has made up his mind though. I am losing my mind and I am just in a shock. He is so calm and he seems like he does not care at all that he is going to lose me - I told him that I am not able to be friends with him right away because I still love him as my man. I don't know what to do. I am just so sad and feel like there is a big hole in my heart.

When I was young around grade 1, I had this friend in my street, I can't remember much of the time I spent with this guy but I can remember him hurting me like hitting me and shit when I didn't do what he wanted. He smacked my knee with a wrench once. I just fell to the ground. We were decent friends until I told him that I wanted to be girl, I remember him telling me how to do certain things to men. (Seems like he was a victim too). Anyway, throughout my childhood my mother was pretty abusive, she was dealing with psychosis and paranoid delusions, she coped with alcohol and taking it out on dad and I, we would be kicked out, he would be hit manipulated screamed at all the sorts. Anyway it got too much for her one day and she decided to try and smother Me, she then attempted suicide. (I don't remember how it ended I just remember waking up on my bed)
All throughout primary/highschool, I would let people use me. I had very little back bone for myself, I think I was half trying to figure out things that had happened. One time when I had to leave home for a bit cause dad was being violent the persons whos house I was staying at made me touch him in exchange for the place.
I had this friend, he stayed over one night. I think it was one of our birthdays (btw I've had very mixed gendered friends, all very close) Anyway, we were drinking and smoking and eventually he started to ask me if I wanted to do things. I said no, repeatedly. He just kepted asking and was acting all bummed I just felt like shit, I got more drunk and just said yeah sure. The next thing I remember I was bent over my bed, my god it was horrible, it's just flashes of pain and crying and asking him to stop before I moved and pushed him away. I can't remember how the night ended but the next morning was so horrible, I bled from it all. In the future I wasn't so resistant, he would just make me feel bad, I would let him do whatever, the feeling of bits of him left inside me, makes me want to die all by it self. I felt so disgusting I feel so disgusting
Anyway, later on I had gotten into a relationship with this girl. We were together from the ages 17-20 (She like everyone else in my life knew who I was) She knew that sex was horrible for me, I still put out for her when I could. But when I couldn't, she didn't care, she would tell me I'm responsible for her mental decline and things. So I would just give in, most of the time I would just give her oral I preferred this. Sometimes though she wanted to touch me, i would protest and offer alternatives but she didn't care she would just start touching me, eventually she started to insert her fingers and I would literally have tears I my eyes saying no and she'd just keep going if not harder when I said to stop.
I just, fucking hate myself so much, I can't get it out of my head that I did this shit to myself. I feel so disconnected from it all, like the pain and emotions are there but it's just like watching a movie. I feel so disgusting, on edge I'm always In fight or flight, I'm tired I just want to die most of the time.
I just, idk, I still consider these people friends. I can't convince my brain that this was fucked. Like do I just not care and move on? Not talking with em about it or what idk I'm lost I just wanna cry
Idc if the main account causes problems, I just need my possible reasons heard

Hello everyone!
I would like an opinion on a situation that is happening to me. I met a Libyan man during a vacation abroad who "fell in love with me" and talked about marriage, children, a life together, right from the start.
We exchanged messages for about a week after returning to our respective countries. We both live in Europe, but in two different states. I am non-Muslim and have a completely different culture from what I seem to understand he has.
I see many red flags, lies, strange behaviors, and then a lot of love bombing from him. I try to distance myself, and he does everything to get me back. I try to make him understand that I know he is lying, and he denies everything, even the evidence. He says I am his soulmate, then says he doesn't like me anymore, then after a few hours, he misses me and likes me a lot.
Now, I realize it's a borderline situation, but my question is, can a man born and raised in Libya (even though he now lives in Europe) claim that cultural and religious differences are not important and that he wants me as the mother of his children even if I am not part of the Arab world?

My DD is in kindergarten, since the beginning of this school year, my daughter and this girl in her class clicked and always seem to get along, holding hands together after school at pick up, my daughter always speaks positively about her and I also volunteer in the classroom occasionally and I never saw any issues between how they interact. My daughter also has several friends in her class from preschool/baby years she gets along with. One time, I volunteered, the girl had come up to me asked me if my daughter and her could have a play date, so I said of course, so I approached her daughter’s mom during pick up one day, about possibly setting up a play date and she quickly replied and said when the weather is warmer. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. Then I started noticing whenever my daughter is hugging goodbye to her friend, her mom seemed really uncomfortable would gesture her daughter to stop hugging and quickly walk away. My husband even noticed one time at pick up the mom was not so friendly to him when he tried to greet.
Later my daughter mentioned her friend’s mom volunteered in class and she was not being nice to her, that she kept talking to my daughter in firm voice, kind of made her sad. I said ok, well maybe she was trying to be professional.
Recently I received an email from the mother out of the blue (this is one of the first contact we’ve made) saying there was an incident during recess where my daughter was crying for her best friend when her friend was playing with other girls and she feels my daughter only likes to play with her and not include everyone else. In the email she asked if I could have a conversation with my daughter about making new friends. I was a little confused because the same day my daughter didn’t mention anything about the incident and said she was crying that day because she was upset about not being able to finish worksheet in class. I responded saying sorry about the incident and I’ll talk to her and the teacher.
I emailed the teacher asking about the incident to better understand the issue. The teacher responded short message saying they like to play together and that seems to be going okay. Her teacher and assistant teacher will monitor situation next few days and let me know if we need to action further. To me, the teacher didn’t really seem concerned of their behaviors, and when I ask my daughter about how she feels at recess and her friends, she doesn’t say she’s jealous or feeling sad and says she’s pretty happy playing. Of course at this age, I know a lot happens during the day and as they spend many hours together during the week at school so some days can be worse than others. I try to take my daughter’s words with a grain of salt. That said, I think my daughter is well socialized, she is involved in sports and other activities outside of school where she has social circle, she also has older sibling and she knows how to stand up for herself if needed.
Now I’m kind of feeling annoyed maybe the parent is just trying to manipulate the situation because she simply doesn’t like my daughter playing with hers for some reason. I’m disappointed for my daughter because this girl is her first best friend. I talked to her about making new friendships but my daughter just seems confused because she says she does play with other friends and even other friends from another class. How can I get my daughter to steer away from friend at this age? I don’t want any more trouble over nothing.

My MIL went NC with us because “we hate her and don’t want anything to do with her” (no MIL, we just have boundaries that you refuse to accept).
We tried offering mediation, family therapy and received nothing but accusations in return. Still, she was the one who stopped answering to our attempts of reconciliation sometime back in January. It’s been a blissfully quiet couple of months (for me, hubby understandably has an harder time accepting that this is what the relationship with his mother has become).
Yesterday, she reached out in a voice message, where with an dramatic put-on shaky voice she expressed how disappointed she was the he didn’t reach out on Mother’s Day. That now she really understands that he hates her and that there are probably people in his life who are “celebrating” now that they are no longer in contact, obviously alluding to me. She proceeds to say that she doesn’t even know where we live anymore (we moved in February and she would know had she paid attention to anything but herself, since we told her our new address back when we were still in touch late last year) and that she wants the keys to her house back (we honestly forgot we had it). At the end, she said the equivalent of “farewell” in our language, literally translated it would mean “live well” and strongly implies that you won’t ever see the other person again.
I laughed listening to her whining bs, it’s always the same spiel, no reflection whatsoever just “You did this, you did that, you hate me, you you you you”.
Also, I just know she doesn’t give a shit about this key, it’s just a matter of control and doing what she wants.
Don’t really know if looking for advice, just needed to vent. Thanks for reading.

Short version — Anyone’s mom act weird when you told them you bought a test kit to take, but the results ended up showing your dad was still your bio-dad?
Long version — I’ve always been kind of against tests like Ancestry due to concerns about privacy regarding DNA. But after 4 years of hardore researching I think it’s the best bet for my maternal side to try to find more relatives. (Her side has been heavily affected by war, poverty, generational trauma…somewhat of a disconnected group) My mom has always been so thankful / super Interested in any research I found for her & my Dad’s (although she & my dad have never been together during my lifetime). However, she texted me Sunday asking what I got for Mother’s Day. I told her the kit as gift from my husband as he knows how hard I’ve worked on developing her side of the tree, but once I get past her great-great grandpa it’s just hard to confirm info. She only replied with — “Why am I getting this message?” Confused I explained again about wanting to find relatives on her side & all she responded was: “You said you weren’t interested in a DNA test. So why would you do this??” Sooo I responded again that really I’m only interested in an attempt to see if I am on the right track. She read it & didn’t reply (WEIRD for my mom) it’s now Wednesday…still no response.
Background — I never liked the guy she claimed was my bio dad. Only met him once as a young kid then again in my teens. During my teens I tried to have a relationship w him, but he was seriously such an ass…asked me for gas money when I had a flat tire so he drove me 20 minutes to school…I was 16! 🤣 But I have had a relationship with his family who all dislike him as well due to stealing from his grandparents (most haven’t talked to him in 30+ years, I’m 34). If the test revealed he likely (or definitely) wasn’t my bio-dad…. I can’t imagine it being earth shattering info for me. Although I’m not sure I would tell his mom at this point because she’s 78. We have been close for most of my life, I’ve even lived with her off & on throughout my teens / early 20s. I think with her personality it would wreck her (more on that later).
Now I also realize my mom may be acting like this because of things like her relation to her side of the family. I think it’s highly unlikely her change in behavior is because I was adopted because my parents were minors 15 & 16 when I was born. I also have her pregnancy / L&D pics. I guess I’m only wondering if this change in behavior may have to do with my dad’s paternity for two reasons:

1. My step-dad who raised me my whole life found out he wasn’t the father of my younger half-brother in 2016. My mom was livid when they found out. I had always heard suspicions growing up my brother wasn’t my step-dads because they were separated when they conceived. I was 6 at the time & remembered my mom going on dates…then all the sudden she was back with my step-dad acting like he was the love of her life….6 months later my brother was born. She claimed to my brother she always knew that wasn’t his dad but never apologized. Just blamed him for taking the test.
   
2. My grandma I’m so close with (bio-dad’s mom) said she refused to see me in person for months after birth because she thought my mom was cheating on my dad when they conceived me. Also, she said from pics she saw I “looked nothing like him”. Then after seeing me in person she “fell in love” & “could see a resemblance” lol.
   

Anyways, just curious if anyone had mentioned this before to their parent / family & noticed relatives started acting off…then you found out you had different relatives, or perhaps there was no info to be found.

I want to develop a character who has DID derived from PTSD, which in turn arose from a four-day period of suffering different atrocities. The character has no explicit memories of this four-day period, but their subconscious locks it away to avoid the pain of trauma and develops disorders as a defense mechanism. In addition to the mentioned disorders, the character has developed a refusal to eat food due to an apparently irrational line of thought and sensation that if they eat, they would be hypocritical for something, and therefore, more guilty. The character has 5 personalities. So far, I've only been able to conceptualize 3: the assistant, the machine, and the monster.
The monster is the murderous and harmful personality. It's what the character most instinctively tries to avoid manifesting, even if they don't know exactly why. It's the embodiment of their potential evil, and its appearances are always accompanied by tension and suspense. Even if not actually manifested (or is it?), the mere fact of appearing in nightmares and hallucinations already triggers panic attacks in the character. This is the most mysterious personality because the character has doubts about the nature of this personality that doesn't offer many explanations beyond the simple fact that it knows everything about him and is playing and affecting him; Is it a personality or a distinct demon? Is it a delusion or is it real? Is it himself or a separate being pretending to be him to scare him? Is it capable of killing the personalities, and if so, why doesn't it do it immediately instead of leaving the personalities unharmed? Why psychologically torture him if the function of fragmented personalities is to help in self-preservation? If it's real, why does it let him escape at the end of its ''games''? This personality (or not) is physically the largest, the most technological, the most inhuman, and presents more feats of strength despite appearing less, all geared towards psychological torture mainly, a literal kind of haunting like Pennywise's. It wreaks psychological havoc on the character in each of its personalities, and the most sensitive one, which is the one the other personalities most try to avoid being impacted by the monster, is the assistant personality, the personality that personifies human essence and, being based on the Superego and Ego and reflecting the distant past spent with his deceased good mother whose values were transmitted in his childhood and adolescence, is the personality that tries to maintain order, predominate, and reunite the fragmented personalities, although this self-imposed role is not easy and it is difficult to deal with the fear of what could happen if people found out that he and the other four 'people' are actually the same person who has DID; it is difficult to represent order while his other parts are more inclined to chaos and there is no direct interaction between the personalities. The assistant personality has blindness, whose degree varies depending nuancemente on the external and internal security situation it feels, but is always present because it results from an unresolved trauma. Glasses are used, the only one who does this. Blindness is more present in the assistant personality and less manifested in the other personalities because they are more detached from humanity. The assistant personality is the most divergent from what the character was before DID. Its form is more human, shorter, and less cybernetic, precisely because it reflects a distant period from the current one of the character. (A side note: the character is, in a way, a shapeshifter, so its personalities have a distinct form, some more similar to each other and others less similar, and vice versa. The metamorphosis is restricted to the forms the character has already had in its life and afterlife, and those forms it did not have are a more adapted version of the personality concept). The assistant is the most sensitive personality and the one that most tries to be virtuous, and because of these characteristics, it is the most vulnerable to the monster.
The machine personality is the psychological barrier. A wall for any emotions. An internal shield for trauma. It looks like a robot, like a machine, both for sentimental and behavioral issues. It does not feel emotions, is extremely rational, and is very connected to technology. Indeed, it is the most technological personality in the purest sense of the word, while the monster personality is the most technological in the most monstrous sense. Its function is to offer a more impartial view of situations and, because of the monster, to be the most solid shield for the assistant personality not to be haunted directly (and possibly killed) by the monster.
There are 2 more personalities to develop, and I'm working on it since it's a new idea I had.
The character is Vox.
The conceptual ideas for this fanfic that I intend to create, combined with my hobby of self-studying psychology/psychoanalysis/psychiatry, made me realize that I attribute four disorders to Vox:
• DID: According to the DSM-5 criteria, to be considered DID it is necessary: ▪︎Two or more distinct identities or personality states are present, each with its own relatively enduring pattern of perceiving, relating to, and thinking about the environment and self. ▪︎Amnesia must occur, defined as gaps in the recall of everyday events, important personal information, and/or traumatic events. ▪︎The person must be distressed by the disorder or have trouble functioning in one or more major life areas because of the disorder. ▪︎The disturbance is not part of normal cultural or religious practices. ▪︎The symptoms cannot be due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (such as blackouts or chaotic behavior during alcohol intoxication) or a general medical condition (such as complex partial seizures).
• PTSD: Symptoms of PTSD fall into the following four categories. Specific symptoms can vary in severity.
Intrusion: Intrusive thoughts such as repeated, involuntary memories; distressing dreams; or flashbacks of the traumatic event. Flashbacks may be so vivid that people feel they are reliving the traumatic experience or seeing it before their eyes. Avoidance: Avoiding reminders of the traumatic event may include avoiding people, places, activities, objects and situations that may trigger distressing memories. People may try to avoid remembering or thinking about the traumatic event. They may resist talking about what happened or how they feel about it. Alterations in cognition and mood: Inability to remember important aspects of the traumatic event, negative thoughts and feelings leading to ongoing and distorted beliefs about oneself or others (e.g., “I am bad,” “No one can be trusted”); distorted thoughts about the cause or consequences of the event leading to wrongly blaming self or other; ongoing fear, horror, anger, guilt or shame; much less interest in activities previously enjoyed; feeling detached or estranged from others; or being unable to experience positive emotions (a void of happiness or satisfaction). Alterations in arousal and reactivity: Arousal and reactive symptoms may include being irritable and having angry outbursts; behaving recklessly or in a self-destructive way; being overly watchful of one's surroundings in a suspecting way; being easily startled; or having problems concentrating or sleeping. Many people who are exposed to a traumatic event experience symptoms similar to those described above in the days following the event. For a person to be diagnosed with PTSD, however, symptoms must last for more than a month and must cause significant distress or problems in the individual's daily functioning. Many individuals develop symptoms within three months of the trauma, but symptoms may appear later and often persist for months and sometimes years. PTSD often occurs with other related conditions, such as depression, substance use, memory problems and other physical and mental health problems.
The four tabs below provide brief descriptions of four conditions related to PTSD: acute stress disorder, adjustment disorder, disinhibited social engagement disorder, and reactive attachment disorder. Source: https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/ptsd/what-is-ptsd • Psychotic Depression: Psychotic depression Some people who have severe depression may also experience hallucinations and delusional thinking, the symptoms of psychosis.
Depression with psychosis is known as psychotic depression.
Symptoms of depression Someone with depression feels sad and hopeless for most of the day, practically every day, and has no interest in anything. Getting through the day feels almost impossible.
Other typical symptoms of depression may include:
fatigue (exhaustion) disturbed sleep changes in appetite feeling worthless and guilty being unable to concentrate or being indecisive thoughts of death or suicide Doctors describe depression as mild, moderate or severe depending on your symptoms, how long it lasts and how much it affects your daily life.
Read more about the psychological, physical and social symptoms of clinical depression
Symptoms of psychosis Having moments of psychosis (when people lose some contact with reality) means experiencing:
delusions – thoughts or beliefs that are unlikely to be true hallucinations – hearing and, in some cases, feeling, smelling, seeing or tasting things that are not there; hearing voices is a common hallucination The delusions and hallucinations almost always reflect the person's deeply depressed mood – for example, they may become convinced they're to blame for something, or that they've committed a crime.
"Psychomotor agitation" is also common. This means not being able to relax or sit still, and constantly fidgeting.
At the other extreme, a person with psychotic depression may have "psychomotor retardation", where both their thoughts and physical movements slow down.
People with psychotic depression have an increased risk of thinking about suicide. Source for more information: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/psychotic-depression/
• An as-yet unidentified eating disorder: This is the only one in which I do not know which exact diagnosis it fits into. It is a consequence of the trauma from the four-day period - including this period being one of the biggest mysteries in history and a great source of theories for readers, as it is the root of Vox's psychological mess, the divergence point that originated the entire fanfic and which the protagonist DOES NOT want to remember - that resulted in the trauma of eating. He does not feel like eating, not even the SIN OF GLUTTONY is able to make him eat - he is immune to her powers - and feels an apparently inexplicable instinct of guilt and hypocrisy when trying to eat, as if he were the worst being in the universe if he ate a food and a huge hypocrite; why and what exactly this innate thought of judging himself as a hypocrite is another mystery in the plot.
In this story, at least in the initial arcs, no one associates all five as being the same person, at most they associate only one/two of them with Vox. With the climaxes (yes, it's in the plural) throughout the story, the characters will find evidence and suspect and associate more and more of the other alters (as I call Vox's fragmented personalities) with the same person, which increases the narrative tension. Being the assistant personality the last to be accurately associated by the other characters, although she was the one that had the most tension and care in NOT being associated throughout the story because she is the human essence of Vox, reflects more the fragility of his soul state and is not ready to deal with the harsh social consequences that the actions of the other alters and Vox before DID caused, needing solid support and not wanting to lose all the friendly social relationships, although fragile, that he built as a separate being from Vox and the other alters. It is easier to hate than to love. The assistant personality does not want to risk losing the little support he has built. These relationships are extremely valuable to him. He doesn't want to have this taken away from him anymore. The relationships he built are based on the inhabitants of Hazbin Hotel.
All alters have Vox's trademark: the TV as
a head. All... except the assistant personality. This alter is the ONLY one that has a human head and is the smallest, being even a few centimeters smaller than Lucifer. The size of his hair goes up to just above his shoulders, but he ties them in a professional hairstyle. His clothes are similar to those of an assistant, and they have a palette of blue, black, and white colors. The color of his hair, influenced by his powers as a Media Demon, is black with dark blue streaks and tips.
His human appearance reflects a period when Vox was human. In my story Vox is a trans man, which means he was born female and went through a transition at some point in his adolescence or adulthood. The appearance of the assistant personality reflects an episode during his 13/14 years. In this episode, he did a special show for his father's assistant at a fancy restaurant. It was her last night in his life as she would unfortunately be sent away without a chance to return, and he was aware of this. He also knew that his father was responsible for her being sent away, although his innocence at the time made him not immediately detect that she would be KILLED by a hired hitman hired by the father and mother. The assistant was a loved one by the teenage Vox. She was a loving mother he never had, and because of the emotional attachment to her, he decided to do a musical show, showing for the first and last time to anyone his talent for piano and violin. He, at the time still not going through the transition, dressed more masculinely, used the best appearance he could, and used a pseudonym to enter the restaurant and make the presentation without being detected by the family. He did not explicitly specify for whom the music was intended, but the assistant, secretly his true biological mother, knew it was for her. That was the last time he would see her, and he made every second of that night count.
Vox's human female name was Elizabeth. I chose this name because it is a beautiful name, it was the name of the former queen of the United Kingdom, and it was the name of one of Jack the Ripper's victims, Elizabeth Stride.
Vox, during his adult life as a man and even post-death, buried his past as a woman. It was not a source of pride, especially for the family abuses suffered and the transphobia of the time. If the Vees, the people closest to him currently, do not have a deep understanding of Vox's human life as a man, imagine their knowledge of the initial part of his life before the transition!
That's why being called "Elizabeth" during the direct and indirect appearances of the monster personality already causes genuine and unmasked panic in him. It is an indication of knowledge of his deepest layers.
The story has a suspenseful atmosphere, with some horror scenes. We follow the alters individually, and as the story progresses, we realize along with the protagonist some strange, wrong things. The alters do not communicate directly with each other and, therefore, the character does not immediately perceive the signs of having multiple personalities. It was as if there were four people in one body and none of them noticed, according to the perspective of the assistant personality, the alter that we slowly follow discovering the huge web of the situation he's in. There's something very wrong with Vox, more specifically his soul. But there's an invisible barrier that prevents the character from investigating further, like an elephant in the middle of the room. Each alter has its own course, all acting as if they were distinct people and not associating with each other. This is bad socially speaking in the long run, because sooner or later the clash of beliefs and values built among the alters will come into conflict and the individual consequences of their actions will negatively impact each other. The monster personality served to add more salt to the wound. It is by far the most harmful, appearing little but causing a huge mess in return. Don't think of it as a kind of Hulk, because Hulk is a destructive monster that his counterpart, Bruce, can try to control and turn into a hero, and everyone is aware of Hulk's nature, which is easy to understand and try to contain; whereas the monster personality is an enigma at the same time as it is a nightmare, there is no discussion with it, it causes psychological terror in Vox's alters, its apparently internal actions affect the external world of the alters, it is unpredictable, it is the literal meaning of hell. The monster personality has already caused physical harm to the alters, although they did not exactly remember, mainly the assistant personality, the most oblivious of all for a reason. I want to relate the monster personality to Roo.

I grew up pretty standard 2 parents and all 4 grandparents and only 1 brother (I’ll get back to that) in the very early 2000s. I used to think my life wasn’t all bad until I grew up without my mom for a good portion of my life due to drug addiction, and only being told awful things which were kinda true by my emotionally (and with my dad literally not dead just worked a fuck ton) unavailable dad and his side of the family (at 3 years old), they never knew how to deal with or show emotions really at all only threaten me (mostly as my brother was the “perfect” child) with soap in the mouth, a wooden spoon, to “stop crying or else” or their favourite lI’ll give you something to cry about” or one I heard way to much “stop crying it’ll make you sick” all of these were a given in my grandparents house. Until I finally moved in with my parents at the age of 7 (4 years with my grandparents) but I would occasionally see my mom around as she would be at my nan’s (mom’s mom), and my parents would always fight a lot to which my dad around that time gained full custody of me and my brother, we had no idea as we were separated from our mom a bit more unless he was home (probably should’ve started with that oops) but whenever we would be a “proper” (heavy emphasis and big quotes around proper) family it always devolved into them yelling about money and some shit, and it all came to a head with our parents splitting up once before in 2007 my mom had brought 3 guys to my nan’s house with me there within this time period of 2007-09 1. Was a chill fun guy who’s been dead for about if my memory is right 16? Years now give it take 2. Guy was a fine enough guy never talked to or seen him much but the third guy was a real piece of work, on the surface he was a smooth talking Italian guy with a pretty thick accent once alone he’d peel back that layer, and show his true self a very mean evil fuck who abused i have no idea how many women but he choked my mom a lot when we were sleeping and one time I stayed up a bit later because it was a weekend and I could hear my mom it sounded like struggling, so I go out there as an 8 year old to find him on top of my mom basically strangling her so I rushed in pushed him away from her and said “stay the fuck away from my mom” (I heard swearing a lot and my dad let me at the time) but also he was like 30 something being pushed and shoved around by a tiny 8 year old. But after that we went to live with my dad and my mom after that she kept going back farther into her drug addiction around 2010-12 the big problem with juggling being moved from 4 different places and school was taxing on my childhood brain (4 places being my parents, grandparents, aunts and nan’s) and getting no therapy because not many in my family really cares about mental illness. (Told you I’d get back to it) so the big 2012 incident was me and my brother playing halo in his room after school only to hear our mom bust through the front door and me and him have been playing for a few hours at this point, then we hear our mom screaming and throwing stuff at our dad something about him sending money to a secret 3rd child he might have had during our moms rehab. Nobody acknowledges him as as apart of our family and dad won’t get the tests done to see if he is his and this for most of our grandparents involved to try save us and de-escalate the situation and according to my mom she would “sneak around the houses at night to see us and dad” because we would “freak out” if we saw her, which just sounds like a child missing a mother if you ask me the fully grown adult so yeah, and my high school life was pretty uneventful as it was pretty standard. TL:DR I got a pretty bad hand dealt in the life category and just now processing and trying to deal with it all now as an adult. (I just finally asked my mom for therapy or counselling a month ago to which she told me “I’m not broken”when I tried to open up to her about my thought process and why I think I need therapy) oh I never talked about my brother he was a pretty typical bullying me a lot and shooting me with BB and pellet guns but the worst is him shoving me in a dog crate at the age of 5 and pushing me down my grandparents flight of stairs. Oh and my grandpa on my moms side he was more absent then she was only popping up if he was required to work up there or birthdays and Christmas I still don’t know much about him to this day.

Hello friends, just want to ask something about dealing with these kind things. I (F23) is in a relationship with (M26), his sister’s one year older than me. This is my first relationship and I’m really a very chill person hindi ako selosa and lalong hindi malisyosa. Sometimes (most of the time) bothered talaga ako sa ex niya kasi she keeps in touch with the sister
Backstory: Bf and his ex were in a relationship for 5 years. Families are close and of course, his sister and his ex are close- siblings are close with the sister. Sadly, after 5 years broke up because they were both toxic - mostly si ate girl but it takes two to tango sabi nila diba.
Going back, I’m really bothered kasi gusto ko maging close kami ng kapatid niya which is hard as hell because super introvert laging nasa room niya and not really a “social” person. I’m so bothered when I see them interacting on each other’s posts kahit na in reality wala naman akong right manghimasok sa life ng kapatid niya. plus I found out that ate girl (ex) wants to meet the sister sometimes to hang. It makes me overthink because what if humihindi lang siya because iniisip niya kapatid niya (bf ko) when in reality she really wants to hang.
Yung si ate girl nagpapadala pa ng food and gifts for the sister ganyan like idk what she’s trying to prove. All of these just happened nung kami na ng bf ko- when I entered the story. I asked my bf directly if okay ba ako sa kapatid niya and he said yes. Even the sister said yes but the point is - How am I supposed to prove myself or like make a bond with his sister when the ex is in the way? Isn’t that common sense that you have to back off when someone already has a lover?
Syempre masakit na makita na close padin sila. Hoping ako silently na ako na lang yun. Nakikita ko nagrereact siya sa posts nung ex pero sakin hindi, shares the posts of the ex’s family pero sakin hindi. Medjo nahurt din sa part na hindi niya binati yung mom ko ng happy birthday and happy mother’s day even reply sa posts ko about it.
Please help because gusto ko mawalan ng paki but I can’t

May everyone in there life has faced a hard time in there life . Same goes with me . I was born in middle-class family in Nepal .. our family members has a big believe at me . As a only child I got love , care and support from my family members . Let me explain about too. My name is Ritu Shrestha . Talking about my personality I don't talk with many people nor I have many friends . I am a introvert kind of person . Thing incident happened with me . When I use to study at grade 9 .I was quite a brilliant student . Date:Magh 16 . that day was my birthday .. As everyone in the class thought of telling a paranormal story . I was also quite interested in stuff like that .. although I never believe nor saw any ghost at my whole life . After this incident everything changed .. After the school completed I was returning back .. When I went inside my house .. I saw my mom and dad crying .. when I came inside they looked at me in a creepy way .. I also was shocked after seeing them .. boz at this time my parents should be at office .. I didn't asked them a single word and went in my room . But I realised that my parents were still watching me in a creepy way .. I went inside my room and closed the door .. I was scared of their behaviour . As I was going to change my clothes I heard a strange noise outside .. I opened and saw my parents sitting in sofa .. my father told me to make a milk tea .. I hurried and made him the tea as fast as possible .. But when I gave him the tea . He told me to put the tea at the table .. I took my phone which was in charged . As I was moving towards my room .. I saw a call in my phone and pick it up .. There was my mom in the phone .. she told me that they were going to my uncle house .. When I heard that I collapsed .. As I turned my head . I saw my father and mother watching me and smiling in a creepy way .. As I looked at them . My father stood up and looked at me I realised that my father eye has turned black .. As he told me in a creepy sound " Come to your father " .. I was fricked out and hurriedly closed the door .. Both of my parent were banging the door .. And shouting " Open the door sweetie " But as they got louder and louder .. my parents voice turned into a veryyyy loud and creepy voice . I hurried and called my parents .. But I realize I don't have balance to call back .. So I hurried and called the cops .. The lock on the door was also going to broke . Lucky the call was picked by a officer .. he asked me " what happened " ..I didn't have any word to tell .. so I shouted " Help Help me plzz😭😭 .. In a hurry I told him my address .. but before I would complete the full sentence .. The door opened . And my eyes went blank .. After a while I was in my bed .. There were cops . My parents were outside .. As they saw me waking up they came running to me and asked what happened .. I just told them a lie .. that was a theft .. As my parents were talking to the cops .. I saw towards the table and saw a cup .. As I realized .. I saw a shadow towards the hallway .. After that incident I went to my sister house to living . For couple of days. RIGHT now .. I study at grade 12 but that days still Hunt me .. Till now I haven't forgot those creepy sound .. and smile at there face ..
This is me Arces signing off

An open letter to Benedictine College and Harrison Butker
I first came across the Harrison Butker’s 2025 commencement speech at Benedictine College on Twitter. It was a short snippet of the speech and I was in disbelief of what I heard. Intrigued, I went to YouTube to find a recording of the whole speech before drawing further conclusions. Now, I am nearly beyond words.
I grew up in the Catholic Church, attended a Catholic high school, and do still consider myself to be Catholic, although not without my own qualms with the church. However, this is not about that. I am also a more recent college graduate. I graduated from a large public university 5 years ago and am looking forward to obtaining my graduate degree next year, both degrees I have worked incredibly hard for and am immensely proud of. I don’t remember my own commencement speech, but if it was anything like this, I am glad I don’t- I loved my undergraduate experience and will be proud to have my diploma framed and hanging one day. Harrison Butker’s speech is condescending, out of touch, and against the very values of your school. You both, Benedictine College and Harrison Butker, owe these graduating students an apology.
As a proudly Catholic college, I do not hold issue you or your choice in speaker with promoting Catholicism and the beliefs of the Catholic Church, even in regard to politics; while I may not agree, that is your choice to do so and one that underlies the foundation of your school.
The class of 2025, as with many recent graduates and current students, have had to work through a unique set of hardships as a whole, beyond the personal hardships we all face. Mr. Butker is not a recent graduate, nor is he working directly with a school or university. College is a change for everyone from high school, with the course load, schedule, and independence, but beyond the nervousness and uncertainty that comes with this new phase, students are able to rely on the fact that since its inception, the college experience has been relatively stable, until the COVID-19 pandemic. Students, and faculty, were forced to rapidly adapt to a situation that we knew very little about and had no history to guide us. To minimize that, say that “it is not unique,” especially as someone who was not experiencing it from an educational aspect, is disrespectful to students and faculty, regardless of beliefs on the issue. Pandemics are not new, nor are controversial policies, but what these students faced, was new. I know of no other time during our history, where thousands of students were nearly overnight told to immediately leave their housing and worry about their finances and shelter as not everyone has the means to find new housing or go back to their parents, have food outside of the dinings halls, or access to a computer and internet to complete their coursework where they had planned on attending in person or using university resources, when these things are apart of what students pay thousands of dollars for or take loans to afford as part of their college expenses. Whether or not you support these policies and changes, that does not lessen the unique hardships faced or make a student wrong for adhering to them when failure to do so could result in greater consequences. If there is another time where this has happened, I am happy to be referred so that I can learn. It is one thing to say that the feelings of uncertainty and anxiety around new policies and adapting to them are not unique, but another to say that the challenges these students faced as a result of policy is not unique, it is disrespectful, condescending, and completely out of place as someone who did not experience it.
Beyond this, it is even more disrespectful to diminish the accomplishments of particularly the female graduates of your university by allowing your speaker to advocate forgoing using their degree and instead, choose being a wife and mother. To Benedictine College, if this is what your school advocates, then why charge tuition to your female students? How will they pay for it or pay off their loans for it? Do you expect your female graduates to marry a man who will pay off their debts? What happens if they don’t or if they choose a vocation in religious life, are their debts forgiven? To take it a step further, why admit female students at all if their degree is not meant to be used? A yearly tuition of $35,000 seems a greedy ask to attain what becomes a useless degree. Maybe this is not something you support, but I have yet to see any statement indicating dissent with this position. The Benedictine sisterhood and St. Scholastica, its founder, take pride in education and she herself do not choose the vocation of marriage. How would St. Scholastica be able to attend your college when she found her vocation to be in the religious life? To Harrison Butker, how dare you? I am happy for you and your family that your wife can be a homemaker if that’s what she wants to do, but that is completely out of touch for what nearly all of these students will face as they graduate. Your family can comfortably live on just your salary of over $4 million per year, but you are a minority in this situation. You speak of not allowing cost of living to prohibiting where you live, but with your salary, I’m sure there are few areas you cannot find suitable housing and access to food. Is one supposed to choose to live in circumstances where they do not have a stable shelter in favor of a more traditional priest? Earlier in your speech you mention “accepting your lane and staying in it,” I believe you should have taken your own advice, because your lane is far wealthier than mine and likely all of the graduates you are speaking to. Most families will need two salaries to live in even a fraction of the comfort you live and even then, may not be comfortable. From what I understand, you went to GT on a scholarship, another minority, factor in student loans, and the comfort fraction becomes even smaller. Should a family live in a constant state of worry about money so that a woman can be a homemaker? You spoke of charity and the platform God has given you, but I do not see you using your wealth for charitable acts to support the lifestyle you advocate in these graduates. You decide to speak for women and presume they are most excited at the prospect of marriage and children when you are speaking to congratulate them on a major accomplishment that has little to do with their future as a wife or mother. Can a woman not find fulfillment and a calling as a valuable member of the workforce and a wife and mother. As a woman who anticipates graduating from medical school in one year, is being a doctor not part of God’s plan for me? As I understand it, my vocation, is not between being a wife and mother or being a doctor, but of the calling to serve as a married, single, or religious person. You make it seem as though I cannot be both a doctor and family woman one day. You make remarks about controlling how and when children are conceived. You condemn IVF and surrogacy when a large portion of woman and men in this country struggle with infertility or health conditions making a pregnancy incredibly dangerous. If a woman cannot naturally have a child then is she not to be a mother? Do you also condemn adoption as it a choice and controlled method of becoming a parent? Is it only if a woman is unable to conceive naturally that it is acceptable to work rather than be a homemaker? I have always been taught in my experience with the Catholic Church to welcome children into your life whenever they come about, not as a barrier to being a working mom. You have laid out the options as black or white, mother or worker, when I believe the advice is to be open to and welcome God’s plan for you in both areas of your life. Not only do you advocate for the females graduates to forgo the workforce when this is an unrealistic path for most, but in doing so, you add extra pressure to the male graduates to provide in an unrealistic way. At what cost do men take higher paying jobs they are unhappy in so that their wives can be homemakers? You have worked hard to get to where you are, say you are doing something you love, and are able to show the fruits of that labor, should these graduates not show all of the knowledge and skills they have gained through earning their degree?
To Harrison Butker, I, too, am Catholic. I believe we also are similar in that we question right from wrong and do not just blindly accept the things that are fed to us. You say that our priests and bishops are anointed by God, but quickly question that anointing. I now question you, in who you are to question who has been anointed by God. You point out it is your duty as a father to lead your son. In our faith, we call our priests Father, but you call us to question and right them, should they not lead us? Should we not follow the quote you use of trusting our priests to translate the teachings of the Bible for us? Does your son question you and what is your response? You call for priests and bishops to be righted but also to stay in our lane. I do not mean to support the actions of our church leaders either way, but as an individual am not following what you ask of these graduates.
To Harrison Butker, you say you speak from experience, but it seems your experiences are vastly different than most of the graduates you speak to. Your statements contradict one another, in questioning our church leaders, staying in our lane, and even speaking of your wife as someone who converted to Catholicism but later question being with someone of a different faith, not allowing for change. As I have stated before, it is one thing to speak of shared feelings, but another to speak of a shared experience. You give advice in black or white rather than ideas for consideration and reflection. Listening to your commencement speech, I can’t imagine I would have found excitement for the future and wisdom as I start to move forward on my own. Had this been my speech to give, I couldn’t speak to a lot of the challenges these students faced, but can empathize with the fears of stepping out of the student life and uncertainty about my future. I could speak to how being able to adapt to challenges, facing hardship in my own way has made me strong and able to persevere and that they too have grown to be stronger and able to persevere too, even if they are not confident. I could speak to how money is not always the most important thing in life, your church, your family, your community are all things to reflect on when making decisions about the future. But, this was not my speech, it was yours. My ideas may not be right, maybe it has more “fluff” than yours, but they do not tell me the right or wrong way to live my life, as that is between me and God.
To Benedictine College, much of this is address to Harrison Butker. However, this is the person you chose and supported in giving a commencement speech. What is address to him, is also a reflection of what you support and believe, and the message you hope to send your graduates off with. I am not one of your graduates, happy to say I am not with this speech, but at least for me, this is the representation I have of your school.
To Benedictine College and Harrison Butker, you both owe the graduates an apology for these disrespectful and confusing sentiments as they enter a new and stressful chapter of their lives.
To the Benedictine College class of 2025, congratulations!

Year 14825 of the Andarian Unified Calender
Bolivan 5 - Central council HQ
“I know that most of you have a profound understanding of how our galactic community is connected and works. But for any new council members, I will quickly go over it all again.” High speaker Efrond spoke gently, their voice carried to every individual council member over the Central Computing Network. The CCN also translated his speech into whatever language, dialect or preferred medium of each individual. Song for one, gestures for another. All within the abilities of the CCN.
“Over 15000 years ago, the Andarians were the first species to leave their home planet and explore space. At a remarkable pace, they explored and colonized their home system. The Andarians are highly intelligent, industrious and iron - willed. One of the reasons that we still use their unified calendar, after their demise.” Efrond spoke with admiration. All species admired the Andarians, and it had been a great loss when their entire species fell to sickness.
“Not long after that, they longed for more, and so they sent out ships to their neighbour stars. This made the Andarians the first species to learn about the most sinister force of nature that any has ever encountered. They called it the wasting sickness, we now call it star fever. They, like many of us, lost hundreds of thousands to it. If not more. Before their interstellar dream was finally crushed. With an increased focus on their system, they recognized the Stepping Stone in their system for what it truly was. They spent several decades repairing it, theirs was a heavily damaged one, and that set them off on their true interstellar journey.”
Efrond paused, most council members here would know their own species history very well. And it would have been a similar tale to that of the Andarians.
“They were the first to find Bolivan 5, and when they found other species, they founded the Central council here as well. They were a paragon of peace and virtue, and we still owe them a great debt to this day. Sadly, neither them nor any of us have ever been able to find a cure for star fever. But with the mapped out lanes of the Stepping Stones that we have today, we can hardly say that we are missing out. We have safe travel between the stars, always protected by a mother's skirt, wherever we go.”
Efrond knew that the idea of a mother's skirt existed in all species and that CCN would translate it accordingly. A star protected its contents. By design or not, it was what allowed life to exist in the first place. Else, the star fever would strike on planets just as well as in deep space.
“Enough with the history lesson, Efrond. Why are we here!” Demanded a council member. Efrond recognized them as Abasaval. Their species was one of the more hot headed. Always quick to be angered.
“Aye, on an emergency no less!' Another quipped. “I hate using the Stones in such quick succession. And using the Central Rosetta makes me sick to the core every time as well.”
Another common occurrence. Travel by Stepping Stones was rough on one's senses. The central Rosetta was a special variant, able to connect to any stone, anywhere, while traditionally stones connected in a one-to-one fashion. It was even rougher on the senses, though.
“Calm yourselves,” Efrond spoke again. “We just received a communication from the souther rim of our known space. The message is about two months old. It starts with a routine mission to analyse a passing interstellar object.”
“Don't tell me we are here for an asteroid!” Abasaval quipped. Efrond ignored him and continued.
“But as the object passed through the system, which is a dead-end lane, they saw the object make minute adjustments to its trajectory, using the star itself for doing so and then left in another direction. It was noted to not travel at the speed of light, but very close to it. It showed clear signs of intelligent life.”
The council was suddenly abuzz with sound. A cacophony, loud and chaotic.
“Impossible!”
“Life that can survive the star fever?”
“Perhaps the vessel was automated and nothing more than a travelling coffin!”
Efrond calmed the council again. “While the passing was very short-lived, the analysts were able to get some scans from the object, there is evidence of possible life forms inside of it. But it left too soon to confirm it. In any case, this is enough evidence for an emergency meeting. I have made a proposal to set up a task force. To try to intercept with this object, we know what system it will have to pass by next after all, and we do have a lane to it. And to find out more about them. If there is a species out there with a cure to the star sickness, we need to get in touch with them. Our entire community is based on the premise of how we navigate the stars. Introducing a player who does not have to abide by those rules… I do not have to spell it out for you. This could have disastrous outcomes.”
The council dismissed soon after, the proposal unanimously approved. Although Efrond saw different reactions to the news. Some were hopeful, not all species had gained good territory and the lanes were limiting to them. Some were angered or worried, as they gained a lot from the current system. Abasaval seemed to have been eager, probably thinking about war. Their species lived for combat and their culture revolved around it. There would be a lot of work ahead of Efrond.
2600 AD
Earth - Terran central Atlatl command
“We have a message from Spear 5, sir” The comms officer spoke up suddenly, surprising Kurt.
“Let's hear it then.” Kurt said, looking up from his screen, filled with anything but work.
As an Atlatl commanding officer, his station was not a glorious one. One of the three captains that rotated in manning the comms station. Waiting for messages send back from any of the Spears. If they did get a message, it was usually to notify the successful deployment of a Deep Comms Sat. The DCS was meant to become a vast network, capable of sending messages from star to star, which would allow humanity to effectually communicate at incredible speeds, across the vastness of space. But step one was deploying them as the Spears explored nearby systems. After that, they all had to spend several years passing around information that would allow them to configure themselves into the formation, and then it would be functional. The estimated time of completion for a fully working DCS web was several decades. But each DCS chain that one of the Spears left behind worked, albeit in a less efficient way than once the whole system would be functional.
“Yes, Spear 5 seems to have encountered an anomaly in the Albert system. They were travelling at full speed as they are on their way back to get a DCS resupply. They think they might have come across intelligent life. There were some activity spikes that seemed like something was trying to either contact them or scan them. They are now in deep space, so their next reply will take a while.”
“Tell them to send over their reports, over DCS web. Meanwhile, send a copy of their data over to the other departments and have our analysts go over it as well.” Kurt stood up now, this was potentially big. Maybe big enough to get him out of his current post. But only if this was actual alien life. Better to play by the book until there was certainty.
“Send a copy to my terminal as well, I will be going over it personally too. Plan a meeting with the other two captains. I need to brief them on this and make sure we are ready.”
“Aye. Ready for what, sir?” The comms officered looked worried.
“Anything.”
Nobody is allowed to use this, or any of my other stories, for narrations. Nobody is allowed to monetize them in any way or form. Nobody is allowed to pretend my work is their own.

I weirdly miss that one friend I had in high-school that was extremely toxic to me and overall just not a good friend. I can't explain why I miss her, or if i even miss her in general or if it's just the nostalgia but it has made me pretty sad those past few weeks because I can't stop thinking about everything we went through together.
For some context, we met in high-school and were extremely close. Our friendship was quite unusual as I was the weird kid and she was the beautiful & tall popular girl and gave a bit of a mean-girl vibe. We did not share a lot in common but somehow we got along super well, or I thought so. It took me years to realize that I was in fact just desperate for some kindness coming from 'popular' kids as I was always getting picked on by them.
We were inseparable : she taught me how to be more feminine, how to dress better and because of the huge influence she had on me, I started to like the same things as her. I did a 360° on my life and went from the weird kid to the pretty and slightly popular girl (and to be honest I loved the attention I was getting). However, I do remember she kept me around like a dog in some way and subtly belittled me all the time but I never payed to much attention.
When we graduated and started uni (both at the same one for our first year), she had a flat (she was super rich and could afford to live alone at 18) where she invited me very often. We had tons of sleepovers.
However, she was in a toxic relationship that ended pretty badly at that time and she became extremely underweight. I was there to help her and came to her flat to cook for her every two days, clean her flat for her (as she was depressed and didn't do anything) and overall took care of her like a mother for 4 months straight. She never thanked me for it, but I did not do all this to be thanked, for me it was normal to help a friend in need.
When she got better, that's when she began having a toxic attitude towards me and our friendship completely changed. She constantly picked on me for my appearance, giving me backhanded compliments such as 'ugh I'm so obese (she was still very skinny, like a top model), I wish my fattness looked good like it does on you', 'You eat so much, I could never ! I would love to be like you and not care about weight !' etc. The thing is, she KNEW I was struggling with body image and viewed myself as overweight although I was also skinny, I'm just very short with a large lower-body (hips) that can sometimes give the illusion that I'm on the thicker side.
She also started to weirdly shame me for casually dating and having hookups (I grew up in a strict household and never had a boyfriend. I did casually date and flirt with guys once I got to uni and regularly slept with one (1) guy but she still slutshamed me about it). She became religious out of the blues and constantly shamed me for 'messing around' with a guy whom I'm not even in a relationship with. It hurted me quite and even when I told her it hurted my feelings she kept on going.
I had a messy relationship with a second guy the second year of uni and it ended very badly. I got very very depressed for weeks and didn't even go to uni anymore, just like how she was with her own toxic ex. Needless to say she was not there for me, not even once. In truth, she even ghosted my messages and only checked up on me to help her on a project for her own uni-course (I did law, she did business). When I accepted to help her through Facetime, she badmouthed how lazy and ridiculous I was and how it was 'gross and lame' to be sad like that. I later (1 year later) learned through my ex when he contacted me to apologizes once and for all that she hooked up with him while I was depressed and that she talked mad sht about me to him while the were cuddling after hooking up. He even sent me the snapchat-memories they took together at dinner that night and I was baffled.
When I got back on my feet and got back to school, I learned how she talked about my private sex-life to all of our common friends and even to her own male friends. She told them everything I ever did, who I slept with throughout my whole life (which was just 3 guys but apparently for her it was enormous) and basically created me a slut-'reputation'. I never understood why and was to ashamed to confront her about it. I acted like none of it affected me when in reality it almost sent me over the edge and made me suicidal.
And when I tried to talk to new guys (for friendship or for flirting), she would always somehow find a way to talk to them too and continue to nourrish that sluttish reputation she created around me, which obviously made the guys uninterested or worst, more interested but for the wrong reasons.
Then covid came and I moved to another city. Thankfully, because of covid I never had to go back in person to school and graduated online !!! I never saw her again and took the opportunity to cut things off completely. I 'broke up' our friendship two years ago by simply stopping initiating conversation with her on social media and declining her latest offer to come spend the night at her house. It felt liberating.
But now... I do have some nostalgia about the '''good''' moments we had together but I also keep reliving all the sadness and shame she made me feel throughout the years. I miss her, or I miss the illusion of a friendship we had, I don't know. I just feel so sad. I had the urge to contact her again to rekindle but I knows it's the worst idea ever and I won't ever do it but idk, i'm just so sad.

I broke up with my ex gf one year ago because we were living 500km away from each other and she was very toxic to me. Two weeks ago I called her in order to ask her why was she on tinder during our relationship(I didn’t tell her about this when we broke up). She told me that it was only for communication(I think it’s a lie) and that I’m crazy for asking this type of questions one year after the breakup. After this she told me that we can talk a bit later because she was busy. I told her that I was very thankful for her responses but didn’t want to reopen the wounds and wished her good luck. She responded in a message that she ll never regret what happened after this call and that I shall never talk to her again about this type of things
I felt guilty after all of this and tried again to reach out to her a week later and she didn’t answer my call because she restricted my insta account. I wrote her a message saying that I was sorry and that I’ll never disturb her again.
Waited all day for a response and she didn’t respond. After this I blocked her. Now I feel guilty and started to question myself if she ll ever try to reach out to me.
PS she didn’t reach out once, she didn’t even wish me a happy birthday
What should I do now?

I want to develop a character who has DID derived from PTSD, which in turn arose from a four-day period of suffering different atrocities. The character has no explicit memories of this four-day period, but their subconscious locks it away to avoid the pain of trauma and develops disorders as a defense mechanism. In addition to the mentioned disorders, the character has developed a refusal to eat food due to an apparently irrational line of thought and sensation that if they eat, they would be hypocritical for something, and therefore, more guilty. The character has 5 personalities. So far, I've only been able to conceptualize 3: the assistant, the machine, and the monster.
The monster is the murderous and harmful personality. It's what the character most instinctively tries to avoid manifesting, even if they don't know exactly why. It's the embodiment of their potential evil, and its appearances are always accompanied by tension and suspense. Even if not actually manifested (or is it?), the mere fact of appearing in nightmares and hallucinations already triggers panic attacks in the character. This is the most mysterious personality because the character has doubts about the nature of this personality that doesn't offer many explanations beyond the simple fact that it knows everything about him and is playing and affecting him; Is it a personality or a distinct demon? Is it a delusion or is it real? Is it himself or a separate being pretending to be him to scare him? Is it capable of killing the personalities, and if so, why doesn't it do it immediately instead of leaving the personalities unharmed? Why psychologically torture him if the function of fragmented personalities is to help in self-preservation? If it's real, why does it let him escape at the end of its ''games''? This personality (or not) is physically the largest, the most technological, the most inhuman, and presents more feats of strength despite appearing less, all geared towards psychological torture mainly, a literal kind of haunting like Pennywise's. It wreaks psychological havoc on the character in each of its personalities, and the most sensitive one, which is the one the other personalities most try to avoid being impacted by the monster, is the assistant personality, the personality that personifies human essence and, being based on the Superego and Ego and reflecting the distant past spent with his deceased good mother whose values were transmitted in his childhood and adolescence, is the personality that tries to maintain order, predominate, and reunite the fragmented personalities, although this self-imposed role is not easy and it is difficult to deal with the fear of what could happen if people found out that he and the other four 'people' are actually the same person who has DID; it is difficult to represent order while his other parts are more inclined to chaos and there is no direct interaction between the personalities. The assistant personality has blindness, whose degree varies depending nuancemente on the external and internal security situation it feels, but is always present because it results from an unresolved trauma. Glasses are used, the only one who does this. Blindness is more present in the assistant personality and less manifested in the other personalities because they are more detached from humanity. The assistant personality is the most divergent from what the character was before DID. Its form is more human, shorter, and less cybernetic, precisely because it reflects a distant period from the current one of the character. (A side note: the character is, in a way, a shapeshifter, so its personalities have a distinct form, some more similar to each other and others less similar, and vice versa. The metamorphosis is restricted to the forms the character has already had in its life and afterlife, and those forms it did not have are a more adapted version of the personality concept). The assistant is the most sensitive personality and the one that most tries to be virtuous, and because of these characteristics, it is the most vulnerable to the monster.
The machine personality is the psychological barrier. A wall for any emotions. An internal shield for trauma. It looks like a robot, like a machine, both for sentimental and behavioral issues. It does not feel emotions, is extremely rational, and is very connected to technology. Indeed, it is the most technological personality in the purest sense of the word, while the monster personality is the most technological in the most monstrous sense. Its function is to offer a more impartial view of situations and, because of the monster, to be the most solid shield for the assistant personality not to be haunted directly (and possibly killed) by the monster.
There are 2 more personalities to develop, and I'm working on it since it's a new idea I had.
The character is Vox.
The conceptual ideas for this fanfic that I intend to create, combined with my hobby of self-studying psychology/psychoanalysis/psychiatry, made me realize that I attribute four disorders to Vox:
• DID: According to the DSM-5 criteria, to be considered DID it is necessary: ▪︎Two or more distinct identities or personality states are present, each with its own relatively enduring pattern of perceiving, relating to, and thinking about the environment and self. ▪︎Amnesia must occur, defined as gaps in the recall of everyday events, important personal information, and/or traumatic events. ▪︎The person must be distressed by the disorder or have trouble functioning in one or more major life areas because of the disorder. ▪︎The disturbance is not part of normal cultural or religious practices. ▪︎The symptoms cannot be due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (such as blackouts or chaotic behavior during alcohol intoxication) or a general medical condition (such as complex partial seizures).
• PTSD: Symptoms of PTSD fall into the following four categories. Specific symptoms can vary in severity.
Intrusion: Intrusive thoughts such as repeated, involuntary memories; distressing dreams; or flashbacks of the traumatic event. Flashbacks may be so vivid that people feel they are reliving the traumatic experience or seeing it before their eyes. Avoidance: Avoiding reminders of the traumatic event may include avoiding people, places, activities, objects and situations that may trigger distressing memories. People may try to avoid remembering or thinking about the traumatic event. They may resist talking about what happened or how they feel about it. Alterations in cognition and mood: Inability to remember important aspects of the traumatic event, negative thoughts and feelings leading to ongoing and distorted beliefs about oneself or others (e.g., “I am bad,” “No one can be trusted”); distorted thoughts about the cause or consequences of the event leading to wrongly blaming self or other; ongoing fear, horror, anger, guilt or shame; much less interest in activities previously enjoyed; feeling detached or estranged from others; or being unable to experience positive emotions (a void of happiness or satisfaction). Alterations in arousal and reactivity: Arousal and reactive symptoms may include being irritable and having angry outbursts; behaving recklessly or in a self-destructive way; being overly watchful of one's surroundings in a suspecting way; being easily startled; or having problems concentrating or sleeping. Many people who are exposed to a traumatic event experience symptoms similar to those described above in the days following the event. For a person to be diagnosed with PTSD, however, symptoms must last for more than a month and must cause significant distress or problems in the individual's daily functioning. Many individuals develop symptoms within three months of the trauma, but symptoms may appear later and often persist for months and sometimes years. PTSD often occurs with other related conditions, such as depression, substance use, memory problems and other physical and mental health problems.
The four tabs below provide brief descriptions of four conditions related to PTSD: acute stress disorder, adjustment disorder, disinhibited social engagement disorder, and reactive attachment disorder. Source: https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/ptsd/what-is-ptsd • Psychotic Depression: Psychotic depression Some people who have severe depression may also experience hallucinations and delusional thinking, the symptoms of psychosis.
Depression with psychosis is known as psychotic depression.
Symptoms of depression Someone with depression feels sad and hopeless for most of the day, practically every day, and has no interest in anything. Getting through the day feels almost impossible.
Other typical symptoms of depression may include:
fatigue (exhaustion) disturbed sleep changes in appetite feeling worthless and guilty being unable to concentrate or being indecisive thoughts of death or suicide Doctors describe depression as mild, moderate or severe depending on your symptoms, how long it lasts and how much it affects your daily life.
Read more about the psychological, physical and social symptoms of clinical depression
Symptoms of psychosis Having moments of psychosis (when people lose some contact with reality) means experiencing:
delusions – thoughts or beliefs that are unlikely to be true hallucinations – hearing and, in some cases, feeling, smelling, seeing or tasting things that are not there; hearing voices is a common hallucination The delusions and hallucinations almost always reflect the person's deeply depressed mood – for example, they may become convinced they're to blame for something, or that they've committed a crime.
"Psychomotor agitation" is also common. This means not being able to relax or sit still, and constantly fidgeting.
At the other extreme, a person with psychotic depression may have "psychomotor retardation", where both their thoughts and physical movements slow down.
People with psychotic depression have an increased risk of thinking about suicide. Source for more information: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/psychotic-depression/
• An as-yet unidentified eating disorder: This is the only one in which I do not know which exact diagnosis it fits into. It is a consequence of the trauma from the four-day period - including this period being one of the biggest mysteries in history and a great source of theories for readers, as it is the root of Vox's psychological mess, the divergence point that originated the entire fanfic and which the protagonist DOES NOT want to remember - that resulted in the trauma of eating. He does not feel like eating, not even the SIN OF GLUTTONY is able to make him eat - he is immune to her powers - and feels an apparently inexplicable instinct of guilt and hypocrisy when trying to eat, as if he were the worst being in the universe if he ate a food and a huge hypocrite; why and what exactly this innate thought of judging himself as a hypocrite is another mystery in the plot.
In this story, at least in the initial arcs, no one associates all five as being the same person, at most they associate only one/two of them with Vox. With the climaxes (yes, it's in the plural) throughout the story, the characters will find evidence and suspect and associate more and more of the other alters (as I call Vox's fragmented personalities) with the same person, which increases the narrative tension. Being the assistant personality the last to be accurately associated by the other characters, although she was the one that had the most tension and care in NOT being associated throughout the story because she is the human essence of Vox, reflects more the fragility of his soul state and is not ready to deal with the harsh social consequences that the actions of the other alters and Vox before DID caused, needing solid support and not wanting to lose all the friendly social relationships, although fragile, that he built as a separate being from Vox and the other alters. It is easier to hate than to love. The assistant personality does not want to risk losing the little support he has built. These relationships are extremely valuable to him. He doesn't want to have this taken away from him anymore. The relationships he built are based on the inhabitants of Hazbin Hotel.
All alters have Vox's trademark: the TV as
a head. All... except the assistant personality. This alter is the ONLY one that has a human head and is the smallest, being even a few centimeters smaller than Lucifer. The size of his hair goes up to just above his shoulders, but he ties them in a professional hairstyle. His clothes are similar to those of an assistant, and they have a palette of blue, black, and white colors. The color of his hair, influenced by his powers as a Media Demon, is black with dark blue streaks and tips.
His human appearance reflects a period when Vox was human. In my story Vox is a trans man, which means he was born female and went through a transition at some point in his adolescence or adulthood. The appearance of the assistant personality reflects an episode during his 13/14 years. In this episode, he did a special show for his father's assistant at a fancy restaurant. It was her last night in his life as she would unfortunately be sent away without a chance to return, and he was aware of this. He also knew that his father was responsible for her being sent away, although his innocence at the time made him not immediately detect that she would be KILLED by a hired hitman hired by the father and mother. The assistant was a loved one by the teenage Vox. She was a loving mother he never had, and because of the emotional attachment to her, he decided to do a musical show, showing for the first and last time to anyone his talent for piano and violin. He, at the time still not going through the transition, dressed more masculinely, used the best appearance he could, and used a pseudonym to enter the restaurant and make the presentation without being detected by the family. He did not explicitly specify for whom the music was intended, but the assistant, secretly his true biological mother, knew it was for her. That was the last time he would see her, and he made every second of that night count.
Vox's human female name was Elizabeth. I chose this name because it is a beautiful name, it was the name of the former queen of the United Kingdom, and it was the name of one of Jack the Ripper's victims, Elizabeth Stride.
Vox, during his adult life as a man and even post-death, buried his past as a woman. It was not a source of pride, especially for the family abuses suffered and the transphobia of the time. If the Vees, the people closest to him currently, do not have a deep understanding of Vox's human life as a man, imagine their knowledge of the initial part of his life before the transition!
That's why being called "Elizabeth" during the direct and indirect appearances of the monster personality already causes genuine and unmasked panic in him. It is an indication of knowledge of his deepest layers.
The story has a suspenseful atmosphere, with some horror scenes. We follow the alters individually, and as the story progresses, we realize along with the protagonist some strange, wrong things. The alters do not communicate directly with each other and, therefore, the character does not immediately perceive the signs of having multiple personalities. It was as if there were four people in one body and none of them noticed, according to the perspective of the assistant personality, the alter that we slowly follow discovering the huge web of the situation he's in. There's something very wrong with Vox, more specifically his soul. But there's an invisible barrier that prevents the character from investigating further, like an elephant in the middle of the room. Each alter has its own course, all acting as if they were distinct people and not associating with each other. This is bad socially speaking in the long run, because sooner or later the clash of beliefs and values built among the alters will come into conflict and the individual consequences of their actions will negatively impact each other. The monster personality served to add more salt to the wound. It is by far the most harmful, appearing little but causing a huge mess in return. Don't think of it as a kind of Hulk, because Hulk is a destructive monster that his counterpart, Bruce, can try to control and turn into a hero, and everyone is aware of Hulk's nature, which is easy to understand and try to contain; whereas the monster personality is an enigma at the same time as it is a nightmare, there is no discussion with it, it causes psychological terror in Vox's alters, its apparently internal actions affect the external world of the alters, it is unpredictable, it is the literal meaning of hell. The monster personality has already caused physical harm to the alters, although they did not exactly remember, mainly the assistant personality, the most oblivious of all for a reason. I want to relate the monster personality to Roo.

Hi so before I get into this I wanna say do not privately message me on this matter. I'm 14F and my relationship with food has been broken slowly since 4th grade. In 4th grade I didn't think I was pretty, I never smiled in photos and I just felt worthless. Compared to other girls in my class they were all pretty, wore dresses and smiled. They were popular, I felt like I needed to pick up on that but when I looked down at my stomach I started to think I was fat.
To "resolve" this issue I started eating a lot one day then barely eat the next and this continued up for about two weeks before I stopped because I simply couldn't do it anymore. In 5th grade COVID happened and so I relied on the Internet for a lot of things, I've also gotten a boyfriend around the same time and we were fine but the relationship was one sided.
He ended up cheating on me with someone else in our friend group and I was "fine" with them dating but on the inside I wasn't. I'd see them act lovely dovey in our group chat and so eventually I distanced myself. Something happened and I eventually left because on the daily the older people in that friend group continued to ask me NSFW things like draw feet of the character I had and also drew NSFW of my character without my consent or knowledge.
I was really uncomfortable with this and they were all racist, I didn't realize this at all until I left and when I did they started harassing me. They harassed me all summer and on my birthday I just cried and stress ate while on the phone with my best friend at the time. They continued to harass me until I finally gave in so they'd leave me alone.
The friend group broke again and I actually did not care this time however, online school eventually started. (We are not together anymore) I get into a lot of heated arguments and whenever it did genuinely affect me I would stress eat as a way to cope. I was failing all of my classes and no matter what I did I never got my grades up. Online class was terrible and a lot of the time I would join the call but play Roblox or sleep, or I simply would not show up with an excuse. I was held back in the call a lot of times discussing my teacher about specific concerns.
I eventually went back to in person school but it simply just wasnt any better, my old hag of a teacher would tell the entire class i was failing and would make a remark about it trying to be funny. I always never went to school or found a way to skip into going, I would just do the work at home. My grades never improved no matter how much work I did so I just gave up. I graduated but barely. Note, all of my elementary teachers completely quit after COVID.
Anyways, 6th grade started and since I stress ate whenever I was stressed that's all I did. Eat, eat, eat, my mom started to pick up on this and instead of helping me make better choices she would say things to put me down like telling people I waddle, I looked like a pig, called me fatty, etc. I eventually became insecure and cried about it a lot. I continued eating disregarding what she said however, deep down it just hurt. I started going to the doctor and I was 160 at 11.
I wasnt really concerned about it but I was insecure about my stomach. No else said anything about it so I never worried until 7th, I got bigger and eventually became 200. 7th grade was a really hard time for me, I didn't have any friends until nearly October and there was people bullying me for my acne scars calling it chicken pox. I also felt like a complete outcast and thought there wasn't a point in coming to school. I had also made some bad friends who controlled my life, I was always stressed out with them too so a way to cope with it again I ate.
I'm in 8th grade and I'm the worst I've ever been, those bad friends that I made I eventually left and taken care of my myself. I broke the habit of stress eating but nowadays I just eat whenever I'm bored. I've taken care of my acne, trying to refix my hair, I'm overall trying to glow up but I don't know what to do with my body. I've started eating less, I was never taught self control so I'm trying to get into that habit now. I'm drinking more water but I want to get help.
My mom has gotten used to me being fat and hasn't made any nasty remarks about it since I was 11/12. When I complain about my feet cramping she just says it's because I'm fat which I don't really disagree with. I've already gotten advice on how to lose weight and fix my relationship with food but I fear I might already have an eating disorder. Overeating.
Not to mention I believe I also have ADHD, I have a lot of symptoms like not being able to pay attention to things for a long period time or making eye contact well, I struggle with receiving information about things, I procrastinate a lot, I struggle to control my emotions sometimes, I space out A LOT and it actually is a problem when it comes to school. I get sidetracked a lot of the times, there's a lot I can go on about but just know my mom will not get tested and I do not want any medicine for it if I actually have it.
I sometimes can't tell when I'm full so I'll continue to eat a lot of food in big bulks, I skip breakfast a lot and just go straight to lunch, by dinner time I've eaten a bunch of snacks but I'll finish my plate. What should I do and how should I go about seeking professional help?

My other half and I have been together for almost 10 yrs. I’ve always been open about things that make me feel appreciated in regards to birthdays, Mother’s Day, and special occasions.
I don’t need or want expensive things, I just really appreciate when he can go out of his way to show I’m appreciated in all that I do.
For Mother’s Day, u didn’t get anything. No card, no flowers, nothing. I don’t need expensive flowers bc I know they’re more expensive on this day but anything would’ve been nice. Even doing the laundry would’ve been nice but no, it was just another day for me. I work full time and watch our 2 yr old while I work from home, cook, clean, do everything I should in order to make our lives easier as a whole and am the last in bed every night. I brought up how I felt and didn’t get an apology or explanation.
Am I over reacting? It’s Tuesday and I’m still hurt and bothered. tldr

1. Sonnet:
   A 14-line poem, traditionally written in iambic pentameter, with various rhyme schemes such as Shakespearean (ABABCDCDEFEFGG).
   
2. Haiku:
   

A three-line Japanese poem with a 5-7-5 syllable count, typically capturing a moment in nature.

1. Free Verse:
   Poetry without a fixed rhyme or meter, allowing for greater freedom and natural flow of expression.
   
2. Villanelle
   

: A 19-line poem with a specific structure, containing five tercets followed by a concluding quatrain, using only two rhymes.

1. Acrostic:
   A poem where the first letter of each line, when read vertically, spells out a word or message.
   
2. Limerick
   

: A humorous five-line poem with a specific meter and rhyme scheme (AABBA).

1. Ghazal:

A form of poetry with rhyming couplets and a repeating refrain, often exploring themes of love and loss.

1. Tanka

: A Japanese form of poetry with a 5-7-5-7-7 syllable count structure, focusing on nature and emotions.

1. Sestina:
   A complex poem with six stanzas of six lines each, ending with a three-line envoi; the same six words end the lines in a shifting pattern.
   
2. Cinquain
   

: A five-line poem with a specific syllable count for each line (2-4-6-8-2), often used to capture a moment or emotion.

1. Rondeau:
   A 13-line poem with a rhyme scheme and repetition of specific words, often emphasizing themes of love.
   
2. Pantoum
   

: A form of poetry with repeating lines, where the second and fourth lines of each stanza become the first and third lines of the next.

1. Ode:

A lyrical poem expressing strong emotions or deep feelings, often addressed to a particular person or thing.

1. Elegy:
   A mournful poem, typically written in remembrance of someone who has passed away.
   
2. Ekphrastic
   

: A poem inspired by a work of art, often describing or reflecting on the visual piece.

1. Concrete Poetry:
   Poems where the arrangement of words on the page forms a visual representation of the subject.
   
2. Prose Poetry
   

: A hybrid of prose and poetry, characterized by its free-flowing structure and poetic language within prose form.

1. Epigram:

A short, witty, and often satirical poem or statement, typically with a clever or humorous ending.

1. Quatrain

: A four-line stanza or poem with various rhyme schemes, commonly used in ballads and hymns.

1. Epitaph

: A short poem or inscription on a tombstone in memory of the deceased.

TL;DR
For context, I am a Massage Therapist [28F] while my partner [35M] is a Line Cook. We've been together for 8 years and We have a six-year-old child. When I got pregnant in 2017, we were still boyfriend and girlfriend and not living together. I continued working while pregnant to cover my expenses and rent since I was living alone.
When I reached my sixth month of pregnancy, I decided to move in with him because I couldn't continue doing massages, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to pay the rent. I thought it would be easier if I had someone to support me financially since he was still working in a call center at that time. However, when we started living together, he had a conflict with someone in his company and he resigned. He didn't apply for another job since then. (I was seven months pregnant when he resigned).
We were in a tight situation, but luckily we were able to live with his family, so we didn't have to pay rent. I went to public hospitals for my check-ups and delivery, so we didn't have to spend money on that. But for our food and our baby's needs, his mother provided for us. At that time, his two siblings were still in college, and his mother was only selling food, so the budget she left for us was only 50 pesos a day. We would get our meals from the food she sold.
I felt really embarrassed to ask for more, to the point that I ran out of money to buy cleaning supplies for my stitches after my C-section. I used panty liners to cover the wound. I didn't want to ask for help from my parents because since I got pregnant, my parents didn't want me to be with him. I was the one who insisted.
Six months after giving birth, I went back to doing massages even though it was difficult for me, and he's left at home to take care of our child and do the household chores. But whenever there's an opportunity, I also help out because he always says that being a house husband is tiring. I really forced myself to work because I felt sorry for us, always relying on handouts. I tried telling him to find work, but the thing is, he keeps flunking the medical exams because of his lung scar. When he applied and failed, he didn't want to try again.
Since then, I have been the one shouldering all the expenses, from baby's needs, food, baptism, birthdays, Christmas, and everything else. My brother forced him to work as a construction worker, and he did it for almost three months, but when the project was finished, he lost his job again. Fast forward In December 2023, his friend got him a job at a restaurant, and he asked me to quit my job so that I could take care of our child. So I resigned, but I still do freelance work twice a week to supplement our budget.
However, there was a problem with their job, so the one-month salary they were supposed to receive was not given immediately. I used up my earnings to support him and our household expenses (bills, food, and our child's school allowance). I was forced to work again because we had nothing left. After two months, he found another job. We both started working, and we hired someone to take care of our child.
I told him that we should split the expenses, but he refused because he only earns minimum wage and he thinks I earn more. I earn 700 pesos per day plus tips (400-700 pesos per day), and on my two rest days, I do freelance work and earn 3,000 pesos weekly. So our weekly budget is 2,000 pesos, including our child's allowance. I divide it into two so that we each contribute 1,000 pesos. Since I earn more, I pay for the water, electricity, internet, caregiver's fee, and gas. The 1,000 pesos is his only contribution, but he still pushing to cut down on what he's chipping in. He wants me to reduce his share so that he can buy things for himself since he thinks I earn a lot. I don't want to agree to that.
I understand that maybe now, since he has finally earned some money through his hard work, he wants to be able to buy the things he desires. But what about our child's needs? I want him to be obligated to provide for our son, but I can't really say it. I always get scared when I try to voice out my feelings because he gets angry right away and says I talk too much.
I'm really struggling, but I have no one to talk to because I don't want my family's view of him to change. I can't even tell his family because they are still his relatives. I don't have any close friends I can confide in. It's difficult because he is a good father to our child, he doesn't cheat on me, and he is caring, especially before when he didn't have a job. He just doesn't have a provider mindset.
I have already told him before that in my line of work, I can't avoid indecent proposals and harassment, even though I don't tolerate them. It's inevitable that there will be people who will try to take advantage. That's why I don't want to work anymore, especially since I have been the only one working throughout our relationship. We've been together for 8 years. If we count the days we've been together, he hasn't even worked for a year yet, he just agrees without making any effort to apply for a job.
I'm so tired, I feel like I'm completely neglecting myself and my mental health. I understand what I should do, the thought of separating has crossed my mind, but I'm worried about the impact it would have on our child. I also don't want to add more worries for my elderly parents since they are both senior citizens. I'm really struggling with this decision.

Me and my ex are currently doing no contact. She knows how much I love her as I already write her a very heartfelt letter saying so. We’ve talked about how we can’t see each other with other people and how much we love each other even after the breakup. Yet long story short me and my ex had a little drawn out break up. I tried to make things work for a month after she first broke up with me. She said she needed to be alone a month later. I kept calling her and she agreed to, up until about a week ago she asked for me to take a step back. I agreed and didn’t message her and her birthday went by within those days. I still didn’t message her. She saw me downtown that night and cried to me and vented and was mad that I didn’t wish her a happy birthday. She asked to apologize and meet up in person the night after. That night we only talked super formally and only about how we’re looking forward to healing.
My one concern is that through that whole conversation, I didn’t make it clear that I still want to try again for a relationship with her. Earlier that day when she had initially apologized for crying and venting to me, I responded with as heartfelt and mature of a response that I could give, including me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over,” then continuing to be optimistic about our healing processes. While I have made it know ever since our initial breakup two months ago up until a few days ago when we had that talk that I really want to make things work, I feel like given how I responded to her request for space, didn’t wish her a happy birthday, acknowledged that what we had is over, and me not even bringing up how I want to try again in the future will make her believe that I’m just truly completely over trying for her, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
For additional context, we had drawn out the breakup simply because we have so much love for one another other. We were each other’s first bf/gf. This whole process was all about her needing space and needing to be alone right now. She had said once or twice that if this is meant to be then it will be. Yet I’m scared that she might take me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over” as a sign of me not wanting to try anymore. She never gave me a direct statement of her saying how we are completely over. She had said enough times to me that this is a breakup. How she needs to be alone right now. How she needs her space. And she doesn’t know for how long. Yet I’m afraid that I might have said the wrong words and followed through with actions that don’t truly align with my true incentives. I can easily tell that the conversation that we had was all the closure that she needed to officially move on from me and to start living her life completely without me. She is a very healthy woman who looks at the world through a very healthy, optimistic and peaceful perspective. Due to this it seems like she wouldn't’ be the type to hold onto something like this after getting closure like that.
I only acted that way and didn’t speak to her and didn’t bring up any future aspirations of rekindling with her just do not disrupt her emotions any further as I know that this is a tough time for the both of us.I currently work with her yet she put her two weeks in already and I have my final shift with her this Sunday night. I’m contemplating if it’s a good idea for me to tell her one last time that I’m still interested in trying again in the future.
Should I use our last shift working together as an opportunity to tell her that I still want to try again for a relationship in the future? I really miss her and still love her and care about her deeply. This whole process has just been really hard and I feel the need to use this last in person chance as an opportunity to show her that I’m still interested in her. I feel like she’s the love of my life and I’ve told her that throughout the past 2 months. Please let me know if you guys think that this is a good idea.
TLDR: I feel as though I gave off the wrong impression with my ex over the past few days. Unintentionally letting her think that I’m completely done with her and wanting to move on when that couldn’t be further from the truth. She is a very mature, peaceful, healthy and optimistic woman, and given all of the closure that she just got combined with my misleading intentions, I fear that she will officially let me go given that I was the one who wanted to hold on and make things work when she first asked for space. I still really love her and care about her deeply and feel as though she’s the one for me. Should I use our last shift working together to tell her how I still want to try again for a relationship in the future?

Me and my ex are currently doing no contact. She knows how much I love her as I already write her a very heartfelt letter saying so. We’ve talked about how we can’t see each other with other people and how much we love each other even after the breakup. Yet long story short me and my ex had a little drawn out break up. I tried to make things work for a month after she first broke up with me. She said she needed to be alone a month later. I kept calling her and she agreed to, up until about a week ago she asked for me to take a step back. I agreed and didn’t message her and her birthday went by within those days. I still didn’t message her. She saw me downtown that night and cried to me and vented and was mad that I didn’t wish her a happy birthday. She asked to apologize and meet up in person the night after. That night we only talked super formally and only about how we’re looking forward to healing.
My one concern is that through that whole conversation, I didn’t make it clear that I still want to try again for a relationship with her. Earlier that day when she had initially apologized for crying and venting to me, I responded with as heartfelt and mature of a response that I could give, including me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over,” then continuing to be optimistic about our healing processes. While I have made it know ever since our initial breakup two months ago up until a few days ago when we had that talk that I really want to make things work, I feel like given how I responded to her request for space, didn’t wish her a happy birthday, acknowledged that what we had is over, and me not even bringing up how I want to try again in the future will make her believe that I’m just truly completely over trying for her, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
For additional context, we had drawn out the breakup simply because we have so much love for one another other. We were each other’s first bf/gf. This whole process was all about her needing space and needing to be alone right now. She had said once or twice that if this is meant to be then it will be. Yet I’m scared that she might take me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over” as a sign of me not wanting to try anymore. She never gave me a direct statement of her saying how we are completely over. She had said enough times to me that this is a breakup. How she needs to be alone right now. How she needs her space. And she doesn’t know for how long. Yet I’m afraid that I might have said the wrong words and followed through with actions that don’t truly align with my true incentives. I can easily tell that the conversation that we had was all the closure that she needed to officially move on from me and to start living her life completely without me. She is a very healthy woman who looks at the world through a very healthy, optimistic and peaceful perspective. Due to this it seems like she wouldn't’ be the type to hold onto something like this after getting closure like that.
I only acted that way and didn’t speak to her and didn’t bring up any future aspirations of rekindling with her just do not disrupt her emotions any further as I know that this is a tough time for the both of us.I currently work with her yet she put her two weeks in already and I have my final shift with her this Sunday night. I’m contemplating if it’s a good idea for me to tell her one last time that I’m still interested in trying again in the future.
Should I use our last shift working together as an opportunity to tell her that I still want to try again for a relationship in the future? I really miss her and still love her and care about her deeply. This whole process has just been really hard and I feel the need to use this last in person chance as an opportunity to show her that I’m still interested in her. I feel like she’s the love of my life and I’ve told her that throughout the past 2 months. Please let me know if you guys think that this is a good idea.
TLDR: I feel as though I gave off the wrong impression with my ex over the past few days. Unintentionally letting her think that I’m completely done with her and wanting to move on when that couldn’t be further from the truth. She is a very mature, peaceful, healthy and optimistic woman, and given all of the closure that she just got combined with my misleading intentions, I fear that she will officially let me go given that I was the one who wanted to hold on and make things work when she first asked for space. I still really love her and care about her deeply and feel as though she’s the one for me. Should I use our last shift working together to tell her how I still want to try again for a relationship in the future?