How to get to myspac3e in school

This is what I posted on the board game community in Korea, and I'm also translating and posting it on Reddit!
The translation and text inspection took a long time, but I'm posting it because I think croquinol gamers from other countries will enjoy reading it.
(I don't know how to put pictures in between when writing on Reddit. If you're curious about pictures while reading, please visit the link below. You may not understand Korean, but pictures are visual information so they can be understood universally)
https://boardlife.co.kbbs_detail.php?tb=community_post&bbs_num=26766
Not long ago in early May, I ran a croquinol booth for students and parents at a Children's Day event (it was held on the grounds of the University of Education)
The head of the school affairs department suggested, "I heard you like board games, do you want to run a booth?" so I thought very hard. Actually, it was bothersome.
In the end, I accepted because I wanted to make good memories with children as well as selling croquinol. At first, I thought it was easy to take a few croquinols and play a few rounds.
It wasn't long before I realized that the idea was very wrong. This is because there were so many things to consider operating the booth. The program should be organized in consideration of the number of users and the number of people visiting.
The arrangement of objects and the movement of people should also be considered. I shouldn't think, 'I'm done explaining the game to the students in moderation and watching them play.'
I have to think about the details. I thought about it until the day of operation and right before it started. Now that it's been decided so far, I'll have to recruit staff to run it together (this was the most difficult problem)
Finally, find out the products to give to the visiting children and purchase them, purchase notices to be installed in the booth, and other things necessary to proceed or make them
For two weeks, I spent a lot of time and energy thinking about and preparing for how to operate the booth. I thought a lot about what to give as the prize, but it was finally decided to go down
(1) Pokémon Key Chain Pokémon is definitely a successful IP!!
I decided it right away because it looked so pretty and the quality looked good. There were some that were really cheap, but the quality was really... It was a pity, so I put in more budget
(2) ritter sport chocolate It's economical because there are 200 in a pack I tried one to see if it's poisonous What????? This chocolate tastes pretty good...
(3) Crockinol Pencil (Steadler + Engrave) Originally, I didn't want to give pencils, but if I imprint them and give them to students, I thought they could remember croquinol for quite some time, so I made it meaningful.
If you look closely at the pencil, you can see the image of a disc bouncing with a finger. It took a long time to think of the word 'dream tree' in the engraved phrase. (Offered words: rookie, genius, child, master, king, god, etc.) Since there are no other people to help me, I planned and produced a lot of things by myself.... lol
I recruited the operating personnel as follows
Head of the school affairs department -> Recruit me (one-person planner and business manager): Let's compare and analyze croquinol sales and rest at home and then experience it. Decided
Me-> First cast (S teacher): A versatile teacher who has been in the next class since we met in the 6th grade this year He became interested after being introduced to Crockinol by me. Enjoying Crockinol at home with his wife. Canadian style. (He said he was doing it without giving it away.) After receiving a proposal from me, "I'll do all the preparations, so please come and let the children know the games without any burden," he decided to participate after much consideration. I'm playing with my kids in the classroom, and my croquinol skills are increasing rapidly. I'm planning to promote the entire 6th grade croquinol competition later.
Second cast (Teacher C): My younger brother who met as a manager and a staff member at my last school and became very close. The same person who said in an old article that he helped move the classroom!
Together, we played about 400 rounds of croquinol 1:1 match. He made a lot of mistakes in his early days, but after hundreds of editions, he became enlightened at some point. He has become quite a master.
His powerful shots made a lot of crazy scenes. Among them, he sent five discs of his opponent to a ditch at the same time. When he was asked by me to help him, he accepted without hesitation. (He is expected to participate in the next event.)
Third cast (Teacher K): I am a teacher from another region, and I am close to him because I got to know him in a club. She was the last to be recruited, and she suggested liter port chocolate and keychain among the product ideas. Pencils were also highly recommended when I was thinking about it.
Lastly, he volunteered after seeing me thinking about recruiting one more person.
She's the only teacher who doesn't have a croquinol, and she doesn't usually have a chance to train, so she's still a beginner's skill.
Rather, a person who is expected to revitalize the booth operation because of that. (If teachers do too well, all students lose.) For the record, she has a board gamer gene that can also play Arcnova board games.
※ In addition, there is a sad history of rejection and subtly falling over during the recruitment process.
And I started setting it up on the day!! Visit early with teacher C and install one croquinol on three tables in the tent
At first, I was worried because the table was in the shape of a rectangle, but I could put things here and there. If you put the croquinol at an angle on the table, it was possible to conduct a 2:2 team, so there was no problem.
After I finished setting up, I sat down for a bit and tried a croquinol test. Played without any problems. The shot was even better because I told them to cut their nails, including myself.
However, there was a lot of dust on the tables and chairs provided by the company, so I hurriedly cleaned them. The remaining two operators also narrowly joined, and a total of four people were matched.
After that, I had time to start operating the booth as a whole They're here...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The name of the booth was 'Gather up here if you're confident in flicking', but I think I drew some aggro. Other places looked healthy like making animal bracelets, but our booth was like, "You! Come if you're confident!"
The booth was originally planned like this Planning the rules of the game: - If you feel uncomfortable, you can stand and shoot freely - In the case of 1:1, the original use of the 1/4 shooting line based on North America and Canada, rather than the use of the 1/2 shooting line that changed the rules in Korean company Korea Board Games. - A student who is too young is forced to shoot with a line forward. Two places are experience seats and listen to and experience the rules 1:1 or 2:2 (Parents and friends can participate together) - The experience gift is one litre pot chocolate - Rule Description -> Shot Practice -> consists of a two-game friendly
If you have learned the rules through the experience, go to the challenge seat of one place and challenge 1:1 or 2:2 (you can also participate together) - If you win, you'll get a Pokémon keychain, even if you lose, you'll get a 1/3 chance of a keychain and a 2/3 chance of a pencil through a lottery - Using one chance card, we will proceed with two sets, and if the student draws or wins even one set, it will be considered a victory. - Re-challenge possible when you line up again The booth gradually gathered and filled the corner, and the line got longer
I repeated the explanation and game so wildly!
The first episode : Even though it was in the shade of the tent, the temperature was high, so the chocolate melted. The student said it melted, so I touched it and it was liquid! Unfortunately, we can't give these defective products to students, so we decided to go to the challenge seat without giving them away in the experience seat.
The second episode : Our classmates are here! I heard a voice saying, "Teacher!" and I can see the 6th grade girls in my class
Of course, we played the game. I tried to lose, but I thought that if I lost too much, the student would notice, so I made mistakes from time to time, but these guys made more mistakes!
It ended with me winning or drawing (I should have made it more clear and lost... lol) I said, "This is just an experience seat, so it doesn't matter, show your real skills in the challenge seat," and sent the girl to another corner
The third episode : People were buzzing that a very famous politician visited the booth next door. (He was Korea's presidential candidate.) I looked up and saw the face that I saw on screen Although I was curious, I had my day job as a board gamer, so I welcomed students and focused on explaining the rules. Later, I found out that he talked to a student who experienced our booth and passed by
The 4th episode : The booth operators were not given a separate lunch break! It was announced that they would take turns eating lunch boxes. There were quite a few people... and I barely had time to eat. One person will be in charge of one booth, and one person will take turns eating I'm the type to eat slowly while tasting the taste, but I didn't have much time to relax on this day, so I sat on the stand and came back in a hurry that I couldn't even feel the taste
The fifth episode : There are so many people, and especially in the case of the challenge seat, the waiting line is longer, so to solve the bottleneck, we decided to take both the place and challenge as an experience seat It was the same with the booth I was in. I don't know what this day is... I made more mistakes than usual and often missed shots because I was nervous dealing with children. Hahaha
The 6th episode : The operations staff at the next table said, "A kid came up with a challenge and beat me." He got the prize, of course But after that, the student was still in the viewing room and gave advice to other participating children, saying, "I win all of them," showing a lot of confidence Then the child triumphantly challenged the management staff again! He must have wanted to win again. What was the result? According to him, he showed the dignity of an adult with his skills to children Of course, he gave away a croquinol pencil this time!!
The 7th episode : I explained the rules so much that the script was automatically made "This game is a 150-year-old game of Canada known to have started in 1876.... "In Canada, it's a daily sport that many families have and play throughout their lives, from childhood to grandmothers and grandparents. The rules are simple: if you put it in here, it's 20 points, this is 15 points....." I can't remember how many times I repeated the script above! The eighth episode : There are people who waited for an hour to listen to it while organizing it I've already experienced it and moved to the challenge seat, but the challenge seat lines are too long... Did they feel like they were waiting for a long line in the amusement park... ㅠㅠ Parents were tired of waiting, so they asked to go to another booth, but the child said, "Since I've experienced it, I really want to try it. I want to take a Pokémon keychain!" and waited a lot. It must have been very boring for parents, but there was no other way. I thought the quality of the operation would be very low to just experience/challenge one game at a time 2 play experience + 2 play challenge was the minimum number of plays to feel a little croquinol
The ninth episode : After eating, I heard parents and children talking "This is where we play Alkagi. Shall we play Alkagi?" "Let's do it!" If you had written the booth title, "Who wants to play croquinol?" no one would know croquinol, so accessibility would have been low But when the title said "Alkkagi", I was proud of him coming in without any pressure
The 10th episode : The official closing time of the booth was 4 p.m At around 3:50 p.m., I took a breath and looked at other places, and some places had already withdrawn, and I was usually cleaning up, so the atmosphere was clear But our booth is still full It lasted beyond hours Is this the power of crocinol?
The 11th episode : Time has been deleted I was worried about what if time went by during that long time of operating the booth, but it was a mistake. We were so busy explaining and playing that we didn't have time to look at the clock, and when we came to our senses, it was a time when the end was imminent. I couldn't even go to the bathroom for five hours. Because it was hectic, the operation ended without a comparative analysis of 'Are many people visiting other booths? How popular is our booth?' (When I saw the photos and videos later, I could see that our booth was more crowded than other booths.)
The 12th episode : I tried a lot to react to it in my own way. I really complimented the kid every time he hit the disc. I exaggerated a little bit like I became a YouTuber and shouted a compliment chant out loud A young girl who looked like elementary 1 or 2 sat down (around 7-8 years old) I finished explaining the rules, and asked her to practice shooting a few times. After that, we started playing the game. The girl said she would do it first, and she took the first shot of her life's first game. It went straight into the center hole. There was applause from all around. I said, "Even I couldn't put it in at first. It's amazing." Congratulations on your best experience." She's made a lot of mistakes in play since then, but it doesn't matter at all! There's nothing more touching than the first shot of 20 The parents who were nearby filmed this scene and will cherish this meaningful moment for a long time
The 13th episode : There seemed to be something interesting to see other crocinol tables also clapping, wow, oh, oh From the perspective of planning, all these reactions are a gift
The 14th episode : There were a lot of spectators while explaining/playing There were a lot of comments about the rules of the game "You have to hit the disc when it's on the surface" "Oh!" A male parent was glad to hear that he knew croquinol "I knew this game since it came out last year. It was about 110 dollars, but I didn't buy it because it was expensive." (It's more expensive now. It's about $140)
The 15th episode : We allowed a re-challenge in the 'Beat the Teacher' section, caressing the hearts of children thirsty for crocinol Some students tried again 3 times (The challenge itself takes about 1 minute and 30 seconds for the first round, 3 minutes in total, so it doesn't take much.)
The 16th episode : After 4 p.m., I looked at the other booth thinking about when to organize it, and a boy who looked like a fourth grade in the challenge seat was doing very well Her parents were also amazed by it The accuracy of each step wasn't unusual He said he came back to try it out and do it again Looking at the game, he unfortunately lost to Teacher S by 5 points when he made a mistake of 2 turns in the second half Teacher S told the student. " Try it with that teacher. He's the best While sitting down, I asked, "Do you want me to do it with all my strength or not?" I laughed and asked At first, the student said, "Please be generous!" but later changed his words to "With full strength." "Haha, okay. I'll go with all my strength!" The student said he would attack first and tried an open shot and went straight into the center hole "Wow... does this make sense?" I also chased along the disc in the center hole. That's how I tried to hit my opponent's disc in Hogan's alley and accidentally wasted three turns. The result is that the student who leads by 15 points wins... The child liked it very much and came home with a light step with his parents "Thank you for your hard work. Bye!" When I looked at the playground with the back of my family leaving after saying hello, the sun was slowly heading down, scattering light everywhere and giving the lawn a cozy view What could be a more peaceful landscape. He must have felt really good on his way home. I thought he lost well
Finish writing : When I was in college, I ran a different kind of booth when I was the president of a club, but it was the first time I ran it this way in relation to board games.
At that time, there were a lot of club members and the space was very spacious, so the event was held comfortably, but the croquinol booth was operated in a very minimal condition: 1 tent, 3 tables, 3 croquinols, and 4 people in operation
Still, it ended successfully as it exceeded the time without an accident, so considering that it is the first operation under this condition, it should be considered a great success.
The operation of this croquinol booth was planned by myself and prepared for the program, so I have a lot of attachment.
I'm grateful to the three people who ran it together (they were dispatched from each elementary school publicly and privately). As expected, people are the most important.
I'm willing to do it again if I have to participate in the booth event another month this year or if I have to run it again next year. I think we can do it in a better way than now
For example, I dream of running a mini-contest by installing more tables. There's a mini trophy, and I think the kid who got it will really like it. (Of course we need a lot more people than we do now...!)

I'm a very insecure person. There's really no way around it. I've had very few stable relationships, platonic or romantic, and I'm kind of at a point where I tend to fear the worst cause I've seen the worst. I understand the toll this takes on others and I try to take assuring myself into my own hands. I make an effort to reach out, organize outings, throw large parties for myself, randomly check up on my friends, attempt conversations, etc. But it's so painfully obvious when it's not appreciated. So many times, people will curb my basic attempts at human connection. I recently started college and even just asking people to study with me, I'm regularly shut down or ghosted. I see people posting freshman year highlights because the year finally came to an end and I can count on one hand the amount of times I left my dorm for something other than gym, school or food. Back in high school when I dealt with this, I could usually chalk it up to maybe I offended them somehow. But at this point in my life, I interact with so many new people so regularly that it's just not even possible I offended them all.
To make matters worse, I'm an out of state student. I feel detached from my family and my home. My room in high school was given to my sister and I stay in a guest room now. The friends I do have from high school don't really talk to me. I mean we have this big groupchat where everyone is always talking, but I see them dm each other, spend time with each other, create actual bonds. Meanwhile, if I reach out, the chances of them even responding are slim, nevermind them ever texting me. When events are organized by someone other than myself or my boyfriend who is also in the group, I am very often left out. Especially birthdays. I invited 30+ people to my own. I genuinely want to connect with people and so I thought inviting them into my home, sharing food and conversation would be the way to do it. But when other people throw events, especially ones that have a limit on how many people can come, I'm never there. I'm not mad at any one person in particular, it just sucks that no body considers me close enough to include.
I have been very vocal about how I feel with that particular group. Basically anyone willing to listen has heard me say that I don't actually feel wanted around them. But I wind up feeling bad. They tell me that they do care about me and they do want me around. I'm told oh they're just awkward people, you're not here often, they've known each other longer (I met them through my boyfriend...yes I am ashamed to not have my own friends outside of that but I've really tried). But it sucks when I look at their stories and theyre smiling having fun yet again. Why dont I have any friends who just call me. Who just say hey when are you free. Who just go hey how are you doing. I swear I've tried initiating this and it just comes off like I'm forcing it. So I stop. And then we stop talking. :/
I'm currently on a 2-week study abroad program with my school. I was put with about 19 random people and they will literally lie to avoid hanging out with me. The feeling of loneliness has never been steeper. Across the world away from home with 2 dozen other freshmen who I've never talked to before...and they still wont spend time with me. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I feel like the bug spray I put on every morning is some friend repellent.
And honestly, my biggest fear is continuing to live in misery. It's summer time. I'm still a teenager. With or without a super close band of friends to tackle the world with me, I still want to enjoy my life. I've settled on a really big project to lock in on this summer. I've decided to make a sims machinima series. Some people laughed at me when I mentioned it, but I find it fun. I could take roller skating more seriously just to get out of the house. I don't know, I want to enjoy my own company. But I'm also just a teenage girl who was never invited to the slumber party.

J. V. Stalin
The Party's Tasks Report Delivered at an Enlarged Meeting of the Krasnaya Presnya District Committee of the R.C.P.(B.) With Group Organisers, Members of the Debating Society and of the Bureau of the Party Units December 2, 1923 Source : Works, Vol. 5, 1921 - 1923 Publisher : Foreign Languages Publishing House, Moscow, 1954 Transcription/Markup : Salil Sen for MIA, 2008 Public Domain : Marxists Internet Archive (2008). You may freely copy, distribute, display and perform this work; as well as make derivative and commercial works. Please credit "Marxists Internet Archive" as your source.
Comrades, first of all I must say that I am delivering a report here in my personal capacity and not in the name of the Central Committee of the Party. If the meeting is willing to hear such a report, I am at your service. (Voices : "Yes.") This does not mean that I disagree with the Central Committee in any way on this question; not at all. I am speaking here in my personal capacity only because the commission of the Central Committee for drafting measures to improve the internal situation in the Party 1 is to present its findings to the Central Committee in a day or two; these findings have not yet been presented, and therefore I have as yet no formal right to speak in the name of the Central Committee, although I am sure that what I am about to say to you will, in the main, express the Central Committee's position on these questions.
Discussion — A Sign of the Party's Strength The first question I would like to raise here is that of the significance of the discussion that is now taking place in the press and in the Party units. What does this discussion show? What does it indicate? Is it a storm that has burst into the calm life of the Party? Is this discussion a sign of the Party's disintegration, its decay, as some say, or of its degeneration, as others say?
I think, comrades, that it is neither one nor the other: there is neither degeneration nor disintegration. The fact of the matter is that the Party has grown more mature during the past period; it has adequately rid itself of useless ballast; it has become more proletarian. You know that two years ago we had not less than 700,000 members; you know that several thousand members have dropped out, or have been kicked out, of the Party. Further, the Party membership has improved, its quality has risen in this period as a result of the improvement in the conditions of the working class due to the revival of industry, as a result of the return of the old skilled workers from the countryside, and as a result of the new wave of cultural development that is spreading among the industrial workers.
In short, owing to all these circumstances, the Party has grown more mature, its quality has risen, its needs have grown, it has become more exacting, it wants to know more than it has known up to now, and it wants to decide more than it has up to now.
The discussion which has opened is not a sign of the Party's weakness, still less is it a sign of its disintegration or degeneration; it is a sign of strength, a sign of firmness, a sign of the improvement in the quality of the Party's membership, a sign of its increased activity.
Causes of the Discussion The second question that confronts us is: what has caused the question of internal Party policy to become so acute precisely in the present period, in the autumn of this year? How is this to be explained? What were the causes? I think, comrades, that there were two causes.
The first cause was the wave of discontent and strikes over wages that swept through certain districts of the republic in August of this year. The fact of the matter is that this strike wave exposed the defects in our organisations; it revealed the isolation of our organisations— both Party and trade-union—from the events taking place in the factories. And in connection with this strike wave the existence was discovered within our Party of several secret organisations of an essentially anti-communist nature, which strove to disintegrate the Party. All these defects revealed by the strike wave were exposed to the Party so glaringly, and with such a sobering effect, that it felt the necessity for internal Party changes.
The second cause of the acuteness of the question of internal Party policy precisely at the present moment was the wholesale release of Party comrades to go on vacation. It is natural, of course, for comrades to go on vacation, but this assumed such a mass character, that Party activity became considerably weaker precisely at the time when the discontent arose in the factories, and that greatly helped to expose the accumulated defects just at this period, in the autumn of this year.
Defects in Internal Party Life I have mentioned defects in our Party life that were exposed in the autumn of this year, and which brought up the question of improving internal Party life. What are these defects in internal Party life? Is it that the Party line was wrong, as some comrades think; or that, although the Party's line was correct, in practice it departed from the right road, was distorted because of certain subjective and objective conditions?
I think that the chief defect in our internal Party life is that, although the Party's line, as expressed in the decisions of our congresses, is correct, in the localities (not everywhere, of course, but in certain districts) it was put into practice in an incorrect way. While the proletarian-democratic line of our Party was correct, the way it was put into practice in the localities resulted in cases of bureaucratic distortion of this line.
That is the chief defect. The existence of contradictions between the basic Party line as laid down by the Congresses (Tenth, Eleventh and Twelfth), and the way our organisations put this line into practice in the locali-ties—that is the foundation of all the defects in internal Party life.
The Party line says that the major questions of our Party activities, except, of course, those that brook no delay, or those that are military or diplomatic secrets, must without fail be discussed at Party meetings. That is what the Party line says. But in Party practice in the localities, not everywhere, of course, it was considered that there is really no great need for a number of questions concerning internal Party practice to be discussed at Party meetings since the Central Committee and the other leading organisations will decide these questions.
The Party line says that our Party officials must without fail be elected unless there are insuperable obstacles to this, such as absence of the necessary Party standing, and so forth. You know that, according to the Party rules, secretaries of Gubernia Committees must have a pre-October Party standing, secretaries of Uyezd Committees must have at least three years', and units secretaries a year's, Party standing. In Party practice, however, it was often considered that since a certain Party standing was needed, no real elections were needed.
The Party line says that the Party membership must be kept informed about the work of the economic organisations, the factories and trusts, for, naturally, our Party units are morally responsible to the non-Party masses for the defects in the factories. Nevertheless, in Party practice it was considered that since there is a Central Committee which issues directives to the economic organisations, and since these economic organisations are bound by those directives, the latter will be carried out without control from below by the mass of the Party membership.
The Party line says that responsible workers in different branches of work, whether Party, economic, trade-union, or military workers, notwithstanding their specialisation in their own particular work, are interconnected, constitute inseparable parts of one whole, for they are all working in the common cause of the proletariat, which cannot be torn into parts. In Party practice, however, it was considered that since there is specialisation, division of labour according to properly Party activity and economic, military, etc., activity, the Party officials are not responsible for those working in the economic sphere, the latter are not responsible for the Party officials, and, in general, that the weakening and even loss of connection between them are inevitable.
Such, comrades, are, in general, the contradictions between the Party line, as registered in a number of decisions of our Congresses, from the Tenth to the Twelfth, and Party practice.
I am far from blaming the local organisations for this distortion of the Party line, for, when you come to examine it, this is not so much the fault as the misfortune of our local organisations. The nature of this misfortune, and how things could have taken this turn, I shall tell you later on, but I wanted to register this fact in order to reveal this contradiction to you and then try to propose measures for improvement.
I am also far from considering our Central Committee to be blameless. It, too, has sinned, as has every institution and organisation; it, too, shares part of the blame and part of the misfortune: blame, at least, for not, whatever the reason, exposing these defects in time, and for not taking measures to eliminate them.
But that is not the point now. The point now is to ascertain the causes of the defects I have just spoken about. Indeed, how did these defects arise, and how can they be removed?
The Causes of the Defects The first cause is that our Party organisations have not yet rid themselves, or have still not altogether rid themselves, of certain survivals of the war period, a period that has passed, but has left in the minds of our responsible workers vestiges of the military regime in the Party. I think that these survivals find expression in the view that our Party is not an independently acting organism, not an independently acting, militant organisation of the proletariat, but something in the nature of a system of institutions, something in the nature of a complex of institutions in which there are officials of lower rank and officials of higher rank. That, comrades, is a profoundly mistaken view that has nothing in common with Marxism; that view is a survival that we have inherited from the war period, when we militarised the Party, when the question of the independent activity of the mass of the Party membership had necessarily to be shifted into the background and military orders were of decisive importance. I do not remember that this view was ever definitely expressed; nevertheless, it, or elements of it, still influences our work. Comrades, we must combat such views with all our might, for they are a very real danger and create favourable conditions for the distortion in practice of the essentially correct line of our Party.
The second cause is that our state apparatus, which is bureaucratic to a considerable degree, exerts a certain amount of pressure on the Party and the Party workers. In 1917, when we were forging ahead, towards October, we imagined that we would have a Commune, a free association of working people, that we would put an end to bureaucracy in government institutions, and that it would be possible, if not in the immediate period, then within two or three short periods, to transform the state into a free association of working people. Practice has shown, however, that this is still an ideal which is a long way off, that to rid the state of the elements of bureaucracy, to transform Soviet society into a free association of working people, the people must have a high level of culture, peace conditions must be fully guaranteed all around us so as to remove the necessity of maintaining a large standing army, which entails heavy expenditure and cumbersome administrative departments, the very existence of which leaves its impress upon all the other state institutions. Our state apparatus is bureaucratic to a considerable degree, and it will remain so for a long time to come. Our Party comrades work in this apparatus, and the situation—I might say the atmosphere—in this bureaucratic apparatus is such that it helps to bureaucratise our Party workers and our Party organisations.
The third cause of the defects, comrades, is that some of our units are not sufficiently active, they are backward, and in some cases, particularly in the border regions, they are even wholly illiterate. In these districts, the units display little activity and are politically and culturally backward. That circumstance, too, undoubtedly creates a favourable soil for the distortion of the Party line.
The fourth cause is the absence of a sufficient number of trained Party comrades in the localities. Recently, in the Central Committee, I heard the report of a representative of one of the Ukrainian organisations. The reporter was a very capable comrade who shows great promise. He said that of 130 units, 80 have secretaries who were appointed by the Gubernia Committee. In answer to the remark that this organisation was acting wrongly in this respect, the comrade pleaded that there were no literate people in the units, that they consisted of new members, that the units themselves ask for secretaries to be sent them, and so forth. I may grant that half of what this comrade said was an overstatement, that the matter is not only that there are no trained people in the units, but also that the Gubernia Committee was over-zealous and followed the old tradition. But even if the Gubernia Committee was correct only to the extent of fifty per cent, is it not obvious that if there are such units in the Ukraine, how many more like them must there be in the border regions, where the organisations are young, where there are fewer Party cadres and less literacy than in the Ukraine? That is also one of the factors that create favourable conditions for the distortion in practice of the essentially correct Party line.
Lastly, the fifth cause—insufficient information. We sent out too little information, and this applies primarily to the Central Committee, possibly because it is overburdened with work. We receive too little information from the localities. This must cease. This is also a serious cause of the defects that have accumulated within the Party.
How should the Defects in Internal Party Life be Removed ? What measures must be adopted to remove these defects?
The first thing is tirelessly, by every means, to combat the survivals and habits of the war period in our Party, to combat the erroneous view that our Party is a system of institutions, and not a militant organisation of the proletariat, which is intellectually vigorous, acts independently, lives a full life, is destroying the old and creating the new.
Secondly, the activity of the mass of the Party membership must be increased; all questions of interest to the membership in so far as they can be openly discussed must be submitted to it for open discussion, and the possibility ensured of free criticism of all proposals made by the different Party bodies. Only in this way will it be possible to convert Party discipline into really conscious, really iron discipline; only in this way will it be possible to increase the political, economic and cultural experience of the mass of Party members; only in this way will it be possible to create the conditions necessary to enable the Party membership, step by step, to promote new active workers, new leaders, from its ranks.
Thirdly, the principle of election must be applied in practice to all Party bodies and official posts, if there are no insuperable obstacles to this such as lack of the necessary Party standing, and so forth. We must eliminate the practice of ignoring the will of the majority of the organisations in promoting comrades to responsible
Party posts, and we must see to it that the principle of election is actually applied.
Fourthly, there must exist under the Central Committee and the Gubernia and Regional Committees permanently functioning conferences of responsible workers in all fields of work—economic, Party, trade-union and military; these conferences must be held regularly and discuss any question they consider it necessary to discuss; the interconnection between the workers in all fields must not be broken; all these workers must feel that they are all members of a single Party family, working in a common cause, the cause of the proletariat, which is indivisible; the Central Committee and the local organisations must create an environment that will enable the Party to acquire and test the experience of our responsible workers in all spheres of work.
Fifthly, our Party units in the factories must be drawn into dealing with the various questions relating to the course of affairs in the respective enterprises and trusts. Things must be so arranged that the units are kept informed about the work of the administrations of our enterprises and trusts and are able to exert an influence on this work. You, as representatives of units, are aware how great is the moral responsibility of our factory units to the non-Party masses for the course of affairs in the factories. For the unit to be able to lead and win the following of the non-Party masses in the factory, for it to be able to bear responsibility for the course of affairs in the factory—and it certainly has a moral responsibility to the non-Party masses for defects in the work of the factory—the unit must be kept informed about these affairs, it must be possible for it to influence them in one way or another. Therefore, the units must be drawn into the discussion of economic questions relating to their factories, and economic conferences of representatives of the factory units in a given trust must be called from time to time to discuss questions relating to the affairs of the trust. This is one of the surest ways both of enlarging the economic experience of the Party membership and of organising control from below.
Sixthly, the quality of the membership of our Party units must be improved. Zinoviev has already said in an article of his that here and there the quality of the membership of our Party units is below that of the surrounding non-Party masses.
That statement, of course, must not be generalised and applied to all the units. It would be more exact to say the following for example: our Party units would be on a much higher cultural level than they are now, and would have much greater authority among non-Party people, if we had not denuded these units, if we had not taken from them people we needed for economic, administrative, trade-union and all sorts of other work. If our working-class comrades, the cadres we have taken from the units during the past six years, were to return to their units, does it need proof that those units would stand head and shoulders above all the non-Party workers, even the most advanced? Precisely because the Party has no other cadres with which to improve the state apparatus, precisely because the Party will be obliged to continue using that source, our units will remain on a somewhat unsatisfactory cultural level unless we take urgent measures to improve the quality of their membership. First of all, Party educational work in the units must be increased to the utmost; furthermore, we must get rid of the excessive formalism our local organisations sometimes display in accepting working-class comrades into the Party. I think that we must not allow ourselves to be bound by formalism; the Party can, and must, create easier conditions for the acceptance of new members from the ranks of the working class. That has already begun in the local organisations. The Party must take this matter in hand and launch an organised campaign for creating easier access to the Party for new members from workers at the bench.
Seventhly, work must be intensified among the non-Party workers. This is another means of improving the internal Party situation, of increasing the activity of the Party membership. I must say that our organisations are still paying little attention to the task of drawing non-Party workers into our Soviets. Take, for example, the elections to the Moscow Soviet that are being held now. I consider that one of the big defects in these elections is that too few non-Party people are being elected. It is said that there exists a decision of the organisation to the effect that at least a certain number, a certain percentage, etc., of non-Party people are to be elected; but I see that, in fact, a far smaller number is being elected. It is said that the masses are eager to elect only Communists. I have my doubts about that, comrades. I think that unless we show a certain degree of confidence in the non-Party people they may answer by becoming very distrustful of our organisations. This confidence in the non-Party people is absolutely necessary, comrades. Communists must be induced to withdraw their candidatures.
Speeches must not be delivered urging the election only of Communists; non-Party people must be encouraged, they must be drawn into the work of administering the state. We shall gain by this and in return receive the reciprocal confidence of the non-Party people in our organisations. The elections in Moscow are an example of the degree to which our organisations are beginning to isolate themselves within their Party shell instead of enlarging their field of activity and, step by step, rallying the non-Party people around themselves.
Eighthly, work among the peasants must be intensified. I do not know why our village units, which in some places are wilting, are losing their members and are not trusted much by the peasants (this must be admitted)—I do not know why, for instance, two practical tasks cannot be set these units: firstly, to interpret and popularise the Soviet laws which affect peasant life; secondly, to agitate for and disseminate elementary agronomic knowledge, if only the knowledge that it is necessary to plough the fields in proper time, to sift seed, etc. Do you know, comrades, that if every peasant were to decide to devote a little labour to the sifting of seed, it would be possible without land improvement, and without introducing new machines, to obtain an increase in crop yield amounting to about ten poods per dessiatin? And what does an increase in crop yield of ten poods per dessiatin mean? It means an increase in the gross crop of a thousand million poods per annum. And all this could be achieved without great effort. Why should not our village units take up this matter? Is it less important than talking about Curzon's policy? The peasants would then realise that the Communists have stopped engaging in empty talk and have got down to real business; and then our village units would win the boundless confidence of the peasants.
There is no need for me to stress how necessary it is, for improving and reviving Party life, to intensify Party and political educational work among the youth, the source of new cadres, in the Red Army, among women delegates, and among non-Party people in general.
Nor will I dwell upon the importance of increasing the interchange of information, about which I have already spoken, of increasing the supply of information from the top downwards and from below upwards.
Such, comrades, are the measures for improvement, the course towards internal Party democracy which the Central Committee set as far back as September of this year, and which must be put into practice by all Party organisations from top to bottom.
I would now like to deal with two extremes, two obsessions, on the question of workers' democracy that were to be noted in some of the discussion articles in Pravda.
The first extreme concerns the election principle. It manifests itself in some comrades wanting to have elections "throughout." Since we stand for the election principle, let us go the whole hog in electing! Party standing? What do we want that for? Elect whomever you please. That is a mistaken view, comrades. The Party will not accept it. Of course, we are not now at war; we are in a period of peaceful development. But we are now living under the NEP. Do not forget that, comrades. The Party began the purge not during, but after the war. Why? Because, during the war, fear of defeat drew the Party together into one whole, and some of the disruptive elements in the Party were compelled to keep to the general line of the Party, which was faced with the question of life or death. Now these bonds have fallen away, for we are not now at war; now we have the NEP, we have permitted a revival of capitalism, and the bourgeoisie is reviving. True, all this helps to purge the Party, to strengthen it; but on the other hand, we are being enveloped in a new atmosphere by the nascent and growing bourgeoisie, which is not very strong yet, but which has already succeeded in beating some of our co-operatives and trading organisations in internal trade. It was precisely after the introduction of the NEP that the Party began the purge and reduced its membership by half; it was precisely after the introduction of the NEP that the Party decided that, in order to protect our organisations from the contagion of the NEP, it was necessary, for example, to hinder the influx of non-proletarian elements into the Party, that it was necessary that Party officials should have a definite Party standing, and so forth. Was the Party right in taking these precautionary measures, which restricted "expanded" democracy? I think it was. That is why I think that we must have democracy, we must have the election principle, but the restrictive measures that were adopted by the Eleventh and Twelfth Congresses, at least the chief ones, must still remain in force.
The second extreme concerns the question of the limits of the discussion. This extreme manifests itself in some comrades demanding unlimited discussion; they think that the discussion of problems is the be all and end all of Party work and forget about the other aspect of Party work, namely, action, which calls for the implementation of the Party's decisions. At all events, this was the impression I gained from the short article by Radzin, who tried to substantiate the principle of unlimited discussion by a reference to Trotsky, who is alleged to have said that "the Party is a voluntary association of like-minded people." I searched for that sentence in Trotsky's works, but could not find it. Trotsky could scarcely have uttered it as a finished formula for the definition of the Party; and if he did utter it, he could scarcely have stopped there. The Party is not only an association of like-minded people; it is also an association of like-acting people, it is a militant association of like-acting people who are fighting on a common ideological basis (programme, tactics). I think that the reference to Trotsky is out of place, for I know Trotsky as one of the members of the Central Committee who most of all stress the active side of Party work. I think, therefore, that Radzin himself must bear responsibility for this definition. But what does this definition lead to? One of two possibilities: either that the Party will degenerate into a sect, into a philosophical school, for only in such narrow organisations is complete like-minded-ness possible; or that it will become a permanent debating society, eternally discussing and eternally arguing, until the point is reached where factions form and the Party is split. Our Party cannot accept either of these possibilities. This is why I think that the discussion of problems is needed, a discussion is needed, but limits must be set to such discussion in order to safeguard the Party, to safeguard this fighting unit of the proletariat, against degenerating into a debating society.
In concluding my report, I must warn you, comrades, against these two extremes. I think that if we reject both these extremes and honestly and resolutely steer the course towards internal Party democracy that the Central Committee set already in September of this year, we shall certainly achieve an improvement in our Party work. (Applause.)
Pravda, No. 277, December 6, 1923
Notes 1. This refers to the commission set up in conformity with the decision of the Political Bureau and of the Plenum of the Central Committee of the R.C.P.(B.) which took place on September 23-25, 1923.
Collected Works Index Volume 5 Index Works by Decade J. V. Stalin Archive Marxists Internet Archive

Born to a rich family, studied in private schools her whole life, lived in another city to study commerce, nursing, chemical engineering, and mechanical engineering. Bought multiple vinyl records of her favorite bands, multiple collections of comics, had her own motorcycles, souvenirs from multiple cities she traveled to.
While others my age would hear from their parents how hard it was to travel just to get to school during their youth, mine would complain the driver would leave her if she wasn't fast enough.
I on the other hand lived in poverty, would only hear her Travels to different cities, the resorts and restaurants she went to, the things she bought, the hobbies she had, the experiences she experienced. When's my turn? At 22 just a highschool graduate, never got the chance of college. Seeing my batch mates about to graduate this year, looking at social media makes me sick, I want to puke, but I bit my tongue everytime. I'm happy for them, I wish I could say the same for my self.
You're not a mom, you're a spoiled Daddy's girl that got jealous of your siblings having children and decided you want your own.
Just say you never wanted children, stop saying all you wanted in your youth was to die young and beautiful. Now all I want is too just fucking die.
I can't even work while study because of your incompetent, irresponsible, selfish personality. You can't even cook, you can't even clean, you can't even make friends and can never be happy for others. Laughing at my cousin for working at a pawnshop just because she graduated at an amazing University and earning minimum wage.
What are you even laughing at? Your multiple degrees lying around? The fact that you turned down a job from our country's bank? Because you didn't want to? I would've understood you turning down that offer in your youth, not while having 3 kids with no husband, no money, and no work.
Depending on you parents money? How shameless, you decided that they're taking care of you till death? Well too bad they died years ago so you decided that you're now OUR responsibility, no not the other way around. We take care of you, little 2nd grade me.
Kept shaming us that your friends kid are taking care of them already, like I'm sorry you decided to have kids IN YOUR LATE 30S WITH NO JOB OR HUSBAND JUST YOUR PARENTS RETIREMENT MONEY, you don't even have that.
And here I am now, just a highschool graduate who wanted to step foot into college, passed the exams and interviews for our public university, all I needed was to enroll. But no, you have no job, can't cook or even clean. I CANNOT FUCKING BALANCE A FULL TIME JOB, SCHOOL, COOK, CLEAN EVRY FUCKING DAY BECAUSE YOU DECIDED TO TRASH THE WHOLE HOUSE AND FUCKING SING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHEN I SHOULD BE SLEEPING, WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT? And when I tell you to stop singing you start crying saying this is your only happiness, you can't even sing, no one in your life ever told you that because you would react like a spoiled brat, fucking hell.
I just want to study, it hurts seeing the people I'm supposed to graduate with, graduate. I want proper and genuine sleep, I want to go home with a clean and organized home, I want to just sit and eat after working. I want to draw during my days off, and when I have free time.

I (19M) am currently in my first year of uni. It's not going well to say the least and with the last exam period closing it my anxiety is only getting worse. I didnt do great in highschool, i always got decent grades without doing anything untill my 5th year in which i failed 3 classes and had to redo my year. I passed everything afterwards while still not doing anything for school because i just could never find the motivation and was going through some hard times outside of school as well. Somehow i convinced myself i would be able to go for a master's degree so i signed up for my academic bachelor in computer sciences. I really messed up, i don't know how to study, i don't know how to motivate myself, i failed all my courses last exam period and i'm not sure i'll be able to pass the redo exams. I'm gonna have to go for a professional bachelor next year and give up on the master's degree. This is really hurting my sense of self worth as alot of people I went to class with and also my sister are all going for their master degrees and doing well. School has always made me depressed and sometimes it's more severe than other times but right now it's specifically bad.

Life feels like a dream doesn’t it ?. Just 5 years ago the pandemic covid-19 strucked this world by surprise and what seems like a week of school off turned into years. Times that we will never get back, times that should have been shared with our friends became distant online platforms. And now as I get older I can feel the constant pressure of this world as my parents get older I can see the wrinkles start to form. How life is hearing news of the endless violence of this big wide world. I know my message won’t bring that much difference to this world, but I just want you readers to know that whatever you are feeling do it it will be too late for regrets later down the road. Cliche how this comes from someone like me who has wasted his days being scared. Stuck in the constant void called life. There is always the inevitable death will come to all us, but what opportunity given to us take it. Peace to everyone as we are about to close another week I hope this message brings a little joy to you and for those who are sick remember that if you continue fighting there is always the 1% chance of living. Life is unexpected the next day might be our last.

disclaimer that i am NOT certified. i am simply an NA and have a lot less responsibilities. my hospital trained me for a week and put me on my medsurg/telemetry floor. i basically just run errands for my nurses/patients, do patient care, and act (minimally) as a housekeeper. another disclaimer that this is kind of a long rant.
i’ve been here since March 13, 2023. i love my job, kind of, but god, this job is so, so draining. i miss working simpler jobs where i didn’t take work home with me. i’ve had shifts that left me in a bad mood for days after. i have a lot taking a toll on me OUTSIDE of work. work used to be my escape.
there’s so much workplace drama as well, it’s like primary school all over again. and it’s always the older nurses. don’t get me wrong, there’s several coworkers that i love with all of my heart. we go out for lunch and dinner together, go on hikes, etc.
there’s a select few of my nurses who i have NEVER seen do patient care in my year of working. it’s all task delegation, even when i’m the only aide on my floor of 36 patients. they have a major superiority complex and do everything they can to avoid helping me. some will see that i’m clearly in the middle of something and obviously overwhelmed and ask me to get a set of vitals so they can give their pain meds. i already have to get 18 sets of vitals every 4 hours, which takes me 1-1.5 hours as it is. by the time i’m inished, i’m starting again.
i’ve been physically, verbally, mentally, emotionally abused by patients. i’ve been shamed for my tattoos, my scrubs, my weight, my height. i’ve been physically and verbally sexually harassed way too often.
i’m looked down on by my managers, nurses, NPs, PAs, residents, doctors, etc. but what hurts the most is my patients seeing me as less-than. i know i’m just an assistant, but i don’t want to be seen as “just” an assistant. of course, sometimes i get lovely patients, some of which are frequent fliers who love seeing me again.
most of my patients are geriatric and/or incontinent. most of my days consist of constant bed changes. so many are demented and/or fall risks who won’t stop getting out of bed, and my nurses get annoyed when i ask them for help getting them back in bed.
i have sciatica and it’s dreadful. some days i can barely make it and my legs will hurt for days after my shift. everyone looks down on me for needing to sit down for a while but they don’t understand the pain i’m in (unmedicated and untreated). i was put on a steroid packet for a month and it saved me, but that was only temporary. i can’t get an MRI until i complete 6 weeks of PT 3 days a week so my insurance will cover it, but i don’t have time between work and school, both full time. i told my PCP this so she referred me to a chiropractor. thanks but no thanks.
i’m VERY anemic and i’m on supplements, but they make me so constipated. i have to take them every other day and take laxatives almost daily, which i know is bad for you.
i have bipolar II, anxiety, and possibly ADHD. i can be on the brink of being suicidal and still have to plaster a smile on my face for my patients. they ask me how i am but i tell myself not to complain because i know they’re in a worse position than me and it’s like rubbing it in their faces. i’ll just say “Tired! How about you, honey?”
i’ve had chronic tachycardia since birth. it’s not uncommon for my HR to be in the 140s-150s, but i’ve seen it in the 170s. i’m also addicted to caffeine which is a great combination. i used to drink 3 monsters a day but my partner made me cut back for my health. my coworkers would hide them from me haha. it doesn’t even energize me anymore; it just makes me feel normal.
my back is already killing me. i’m only 20 years old. i know that nursing kills your back as well, but after gaining 2 years of experience and completing my BSN, i will be able to specialize in WOC where i won’t hurt my back as much. my MIL is a WOC nurse who invites me to do rounds with her and shadow her while she charts and does consults, and i’ve decided that’s my dream job. it’s something i’m genuinely looking forward to. my boyfriend asked, “if you could have any job, and pay was the same across the board, what would it be?” i told him i’d still be a WOC nurse.
i’m in pre-nursing right now, but once i’m officially in the nursing program, my hospital will pay for most of my schooling. however, i will have to sign a contract with them (i can’t remember if it’s 3 or 5 years. i think they changed it recently.). i figured it would be fine, since i’ll be specializing at this hospital. but this position is killing my physical and mental health. i don’t know. i can’t bring myself to leave so i’m just venting. thanks for reading if you got this far.

How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself. 17, male Just your average quiet teenager • Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow? not that I know of • Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it? Growing up isn't a thing I really recall easily, but I was born in a semi-poor family of 4 members(me,brother,and parents ofc), parents didn't really get along and eventually they split up and I had to fill the role of the father for my brother. Mostly my mother would insist on religion and such, and most of my morals are from her. Now I just think some of them are pretty stupid • What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not? I am in high school currently, I would like to become a doctor, something that ties into sports because I do karate and I really love this sport (I am at the brown belt currently) • If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed? It could go both ways, either I do something by myself in that weekend or I would like to go hang out with others(on calls mostly just to listen and maybe include myself, joke around and all) but if I really have nothing to do I feel miserable if I stay and think about my current situation, not having much going on for me.. • What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities? Playing on my computer and Karate, I am pretty good at sports now but before I really wasn't in a good physical condition (I was fat). But I prefer both indoor activities and outdoor , but mostly sticking with indoor cause no opportunities to go outside which is sad really... • How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate? Not really curious about stuff that aren't of use to me or I don't see value in, like yeah if I need to know something I will hold onto that but for myself for no reason going out to learn something isn't really for me.. • Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be? I don't really go for leadership if I don't have a good level of expertise on the subject, but when I do it's good. I try to simplify my strategizing because there's no point in complicating a plan and plus it helps with staying flexible • Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
I don't know what to answer on this "coordination" thing.. But I do enjoy working with my hands even if it won't be good, from time to time I think about cooking food and such for myself/ family • Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
No, I used to like it as a kid mostly because of school, it would get recognition and I would actually think "hell yeah I am the best artist!" (kind of), but since it wouldn't get much recognition I stopped being like that.. kind of cringing at my past behaviour honestly • What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
I don't think bout them too much About the past I really don't recall memories, unless it's episodic memory because then I remember what happend all of that , not with all the details tho And I don't stay and think much about my future, I don't like thinking in advance what I'm gonna do but I am indifferent towards it. I try to remain on the lookout for possibilities that could help me later or in the moment
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
People don't really come to me for help unless they try to use me(and ofc I don't let them) But it would go one of the two ways: either I help them because I feel obligated too, or actually want to show the person I am interested into something of theirs(this sounds wrong lol) or I simply say no and go on about my day
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
yeah, I don't really like to have things that make no sense around me which is why I try to make sense of everything even including this system of cognitive functions (which I read a bit but ehh not too sure how they apply to me that is why I am here in the first place)
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
Not too much , but I do love when I am efficient and productive. Because in free time if I have nothing to work towards I feel pointless, and miserable.. • Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them? I do karate and play on my pc, that is pretty much it.. I love doing this sport, I want to continue on practicing this sport and maybe become a coach myself + becoming a doctor for a field like kinetotherapy (i hope that is how you call it idk how it is in english)
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
I see the logic behind things pretty easy, but when I don't then I still try to make sense of everything. But I learn what I need to go further in what I am doing, and prefer classes where physical senses are used a lot followed by logic and creativity. I like to juggle with the logic of the subject in the moment and see how the equasion in front of me could lay out.
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
Like I said I try to simplify planning so I try to do the same with strategizing, but sometimes a detailed strategy is the best , and even improvising is good because something could happen and set you off course • What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
To be productive, influence others, eventually control others (for their good/our good)
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
I get uncomfortable around people who are in a emotional outburst, and look to me for support. I am bad with emotions.. My fear is being rejected, and exploited in a bad way, even if it doesn't happen (which might be because others consider me intimidating and arrogant, which I don't reslly think I am like that) I still know how to manage it, kind of..
• What do the "highs" in your life look like? Really looking forward to everything, actually having something going on in my life. Being overall happy and enthusiastic
• What do the "lows" in your life look like? First thing that I would say is: melancholy, and thinking deeply about life, in a depressing way. Even my friend said that my “miserable” thoughts align with some philoshopies like nihilism and such. But mostly get withdrawn from others, feeling stuck and unable of changing things and maybe more emotional but when alone • How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so? I am pretty attached to it but when alone I do tend to daydream, and think of possible outcomes if I do that, this etc But even daydreaming I am aware of my surroundings
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
When I have nothing to do I just think of “what if” scenarios, even in real life when I am bored and disengaged from anything
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
Depends, I usually try to always be decisive, and I may juggle back n forth with options and outcomes but I really get indecisive for personal stuff but decisive for outside stuff
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
I don't really mess with my emotions, I just supress them because they will make me feel miserable and melancholic and I dislike feeling like that… a lot
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
I tend to do this a lot with people who I don't know , because I don't know how they'll react so I do this but at the same time kind of closing off the room to chat about it more and such
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why? I don't break rules but I also don't really care about them when doing something just as long as it won't get me punished and it won't harm others (ofc), eventually exploiting them. But I don't really care too much about them cause if you gonna do your job good you won't break them. I dislike having limits from others, it's annoying
I took the Michael Caloz test and it said ENTJ, ESTP and ESTJ most likely results

No major prior electrical experience (my family owns a rental property and I’ve done major renovations on my own three homes, so basic know-how). Scored 8/9 on aptitude and in the 90s on my interview. Ended up ranked 3rd out of ~75 applicants.
—————————————————————-
Why an apprenticeship?
What are experiences you have had in the past that increased your interest in becoming an electrical worker?
What knowledge do you have about what an electrical worker does on the job?
Describe a time you were missing something you needed to complete the job.
Tell us about a time when vou had some work to do. but vou were not exactly sure how to do it.
Describe a time when you had an idea about a different way to make, build, or repair someting
Describe how you went about planning a project that you completed from start to finish.
Tell us about a time when you were proud of the way you organized a job.
Describe a time when you were working on an important deadline, but something of higher priority came up and prevented you from making the deadline.
Tell us about a time at work, or in school, when someone really got on your nerves.
Tell us about a time when someone criticized something you made, or something you did.
Describe a time when a co-worker, or friend, wanted to do something that you did not agree with.
Tell us about a time when you had to work with three or more people to get something done.
Describe a time when you were given a choice of doing a group project, or working on your own.
Describe a team activity that you like to participate in.
Think of a time when the instructions you received from a teacher, or supervisor, were not very clear about how to complete a specific task.
Describe a time when you knew that a chore or project had to get done, but no one was standing over your shoulder forcing you to complete it.
Tell us about the most challenging project you've ever done completely on your own.
Describe a time when you, a friend, a co-worker, or a family member were injured.
Tell us about a time when an accident happened and when you, or someone around you, panicked.
Tell us about a time at school, or work, when something went wrong, quite unexpectedly.

For context, my (16F) best friend, let's call her Diane (16F), has been my best friend for 2 years. We became extremely close after an incident last year because she had no friends due to lots of negative rumours being spread about her being a fake friend and a rumour spreader. I was her only friend and I invited her to the friend group so she wouldn't be alone, and she blended right into the group and she's been with us ever since.
She was especially close to me, and we promised eachother that we would be exclusive to eachother as best friends. Not in a romantic way, but we were eachothers everything. She came from a broken household, I was the only one who cared about her, and I didn't have many people I could trust other than my friend group due to past trauma I don't really wanna talk about because its just a whole other story, and she made me feel at home when I was with her.
Timeskip to now, she got her reputation back, and she's quite popular and she cares about her popularity and reputation quite a lot. Our friendship is different from before, but we're still exclusive best friends. She tells me that she hates everyone except for me, which makes me happy because it validates that I'm her best friend, but sometimes she acts a bit off.
Here are some instances that's made me doubt our friendship.

1. We had a girl in the friend group, let's call her Samantha, and she hated me to the core. The whole friendgroup had a sleepover, Samantha included, and Samantha and Diane were only talking to eachother. It felt awkward for me because everytime I tried to talk to them, Diane and Samantha would look at eachother and Diane would put on a strained smile that she only used with certain people. I knew that she acted fake with a lot of other people, she told me a lot, and she doesn't hide that, but she always said hi to me with a weird voice and went back to talking with Samantha normally. I talked to Diane after the sleepover and she said that she was only talking with Samantha because Samantha kept forcing her to talk with her, and honestly I can believe that because Diane is the only person Samantha likes in the friendgroup so I believe her, but I'm still putting this down here just in case I brushed it off too quickly.
   
2. Diane frequently switches between hating and loving the people in our friendgroup. She could go hours ranting about how much she hates the people in our friendgroup, and then after a few days, she goes back to praising everything they do. It confuses me a lot. I try to bring it up with her sometimes, but she always pretends she never said what she said about our friends. I never know what her actual opinions on people are, so sometimes I worry I'm gonna be one of them, but she always reassures me that I'm the one person she has never hated, so I'm just putting this one here because I also think I'm worrying over nothing on this one and I'm blowing it out of proportion.
   
3. This one was the one that made me write this but recently Diane invited a new girl into the friend group, let's call her Jess, and Diane has been trying to make us become a trio with Jess. Us and Jess had a lot of issues with Jess in the past, but I genuinely think she's changed because she's actually so sweet, but the problem is that Diane has been ignoring me for some reason. Jess is the one to try to talk to me and even then, Diane would enter the conversation and begin talking to Jess, and I feel like Diane is sick of me. I heard from Jess that Diane and her were making plans and Jess thought Diane told me because Diane told her I probably wouldn't want to go, but I understand because my parents usually don't let me go to last minute plans but it still would be nice to get a heads up or an invite even if I couldn't come.
   

I really don't know what to do. I'm the type of person to get way too attached to someone too quickly, and my love for people is intense. I have lots of attachment issues and I'm often needy and obsessive and clingy to people I love. I've molded my whole personality to become compatible with Diane's, and I've changed my appearance to be what Diane would like.
Before I was close with Diane, I had short hair, and I didn't care about what I looked like as long as I was happy, but since Diane cares a lot about her reputation, she cares about mine too. She told me to grow my hair out last year and I did, and it does look pretty, but I do miss my old hair sometimes even if it wasn't as pretty.
She's been telling me to get my nails done and wear some makeup, so I did and I think I look pretty, my only problem with myself is my weight. I know I'm not fat, but I weigh a bit more than Diane, and I've gained an eating disorder, and Diane started paying attention to me and worrying about me. She's been mostly indifferent to me other days, so even if I knew the eating disorder was unhealthy I've been keeping it going just so I can feel her worry about me again. I don't even care about losing weight anymore I just want some semblance that Diane still cares about me and loves me.
I love Diane so much, I don't want her to go. We have talked about our future a lot and what we plan to do after high school, i've been imagining my future with this girl, but I know that she doesn't care as much as me. I've been repeatedly trying and begging her to put some effort into this friendship but she always says that I'm always her top priority and I don't need to worry. I feel so dumb for thinking that she wants to replace me or that she's sick of me, should I keep trying to make this work?

No major prior electrical experience (my family owns a rental property and I’ve done major renovations on my own three homes, so basic know-how). Scored 8/9 on aptitude and in the 90s on my interview. Ended up ranked 3rd out of ~75 applicants.
—————————————————————-
Why an apprenticeship?
What are experiences you have had in the past that increased your interest in becoming an electrical worker?
What knowledge do you have about what an electrical worker does on the job?
Describe a time you were missing something you needed to complete the job.
Tell us about a time when vou had some work to do. but vou were not exactly sure how to do it.
Describe a time when you had an idea about a different way to make, build, or repair someting
Describe how you went about planning a project that you completed from start to finish.
Tell us about a time when you were proud of the way you organized a job.
Describe a time when you were working on an important deadline, but something of higher priority came up and prevented you from making the deadline.
Tell us about a time at work, or in school, when someone really got on your nerves.
Tell us about a time when someone criticized something you made, or something you did.
Describe a time when a co-worker, or friend, wanted to do something that you did not agree with.
Tell us about a time when you had to work with three or more people to get something done.
Describe a time when you were given a choice of doing a group project, or working on your own.
Describe a team activity that you like to participate in.
Think of a time when the instructions you received from a teacher, or supervisor, were not very clear about how to complete a specific task.
Describe a time when you knew that a chore or project had to get done, but no one was standing over your shoulder forcing you to complete it.
Tell us about the most challenging project you've ever done completely on your own.
Describe a time when you, a friend, a co-worker, or a family member were injured.
Tell us about a time when an accident happened and when you, or someone around you, panicked.
Tell us about a time at school, or work, when something went wrong, quite unexpectedly.

I can’t write.
I can’t write at all. I would type words that pop up into my mind, then I’ll feel icky about it. Then it’d be gone in a flash with the power of my delete button. I used to think I’m a good writer, but it’s more like a phase where you feel so good about what you write. But growing out of it, you’ll look back and think, “What the f*ck is the thought process behind this fiasco?” That’s exactly how I feel about what I have written in the past.
I digress. I decided to start writing on this page here, 15th of May 2024 at 5-something PM in a cafe near school (class had just finished) because I feel like sh*t. Long story short, I have a man. My not-so-my-man man. It’s because we’re not really in any relationship to begin with, like, on paper, there are no statuses for us to settle with. It’s also important to mention how he was actually my crush whom I’ve liked since the start of sophomore year (he’s my senior). I don’t know if it’s because of how I’ve known him for roughly 17 years of my life or that he’s just so very smart. Maybe both. 2023 was rough for me because I fell in love with him but he didn’t even look at me. He’s kind, introverted, that polite and good-to-your-ma-and-everybody’s-ma kind of guy, and he’s just totally my type. Or my type is him. But everyone knew about it, my friends knew about it, his friends knew about it, he was the only clueless person during the episode.
2024 happened and we got close. April blessed me with the fact that he likes me back. “What if, I tell you, hypothetically, that I like you too. What would your response be?”
Best believe my heart rate spiked to 140 BPM.
Then we happened. Just like that. He said things me and my friends never really expected to hear him say. Like, are you serious, did Bonnie really say “God, I love you so much.” (Code name Bonnie, by the way. We call him that. Maybe one day I’ll tell you why) or am I on fentanyl right now? He’s sweet. He took me on dates. He was there when I lost the debating competition I truly believed I could win. He told me it’s okay. It’ll be okay. At the end, it’ll all be okay. And truly when he’s around, I am okay.
I don’t know when or why it started but we kind of fell off due to the fact that he stopped saying ‘I love you’ and bawling my eyes out because he left me hanging after making me wait became a weekly thing. He’s busy, I know of it, but it gets a little too painful for me to just continue my daily dilly-dallying after he left me without any ‘bye-bye’s or a kiss on the cheek. It occurred to me that, maybe, JUST maybe, I’ve liked him for so long and he doesn’t like me that much. I mean, whenever he’s around, Bonnie would rather talk to my male friends instead of me. He never really seeks after me. Never have I ever heard “Where’s Kiyo?” coming out of his mouth. True, most of the time we would be on the school ground, but, come on and talk to me. I am here.
Maybe it’s just the fact that he’s leaving for college soon (I am COUNTING my days because he, in fact, is leaving in DAYS) that makes me sad. Questions like “Do you not want to spend time with me before you go?” or “Do you even want to see me?” or “Will you miss me or will you miss me not?” would pop up in my head like, every 3 seconds (Can someone answer these questions for me by the way) and it’s— bothersome. I want to believe that he truly loves me. Again, I can’t help but doubt.
I really need to make up my mind and answer my own questions on what I’m actually worried about. I’ll continue in a bit. Girl’s gotta catch up the walking duration to an extra class at 7 PM (it’s 6:23).
Yours truly, Kiyo

Reading the article it does seem like the school dropped the ball, BUT It reads like a stuff that happens daily in our classrooms with a student who "can't keep their hands to themselves" and nothing happens to them to stop it. This is not unfamiliar to any of us in the classroom- the real question is what's going to happen now? Whether this happened because of weak discipline policies at the school or because of a student having legal protections against removing them from the gen ed classroom, I can't help but wonder how many times school districts can get sued for something like this before something changes.
"BOILING SPRINGS, S.C. (WSPA) – Two mothers have filed lawsuits against an Upstate school district alleging their children were sexually assaulted in the classroom.
The lawsuits were filed on June 6, 2022, against Spartanburg County School District Two.
The lawsuit alleged that two students were sexually assaulted by another classmate while in the computer lab at Shoally Creek Elementary School on November 5, 2021.
One of the parents emailed the then-principal, guidance counselor, and teacher stating that the two students were sexually assaulted.
The teacher replied that the children did inform her that a student could not keep his hands to himself, but that she had no idea he had touched them in private parts.
The lawsuits state that the principal and the guidance counselor did not respond.
It also stated that the teacher went out on maternity leave on February 2, 2022.
A substitute teacher took over the classroom on February 3, 2022.
On February 8, 2022, the same student and another student held a pencil near their crotches and stroked the pencil in a sexually suggestive manner while looking at the children.
The next day the parents had a phone conference meeting with the principal. She informed the parents that “she would take appropriate action to end the sexual assaults and disruptive behavior occurring in the classroom.”
On March 1, 2022, the lawsuit alleged that another student sexually assaulted one of the plaintiff’s children by grabbing his private parts on the playground.
The mother reported the incident to the substitute teacher.
After that incident, the child was assigned a seat next to or near three of the students who were accused of sexual assault.
Following the newly assigned seats, one of the students “consistently sexually assaulted” the child by grabbing his private parts.
Upon that information, the substitute teacher resigned on March 11, 2022.
The lawsuit stated that another substitute teacher took over the classroom on March 14, 2022.
On March 22, 2022, the mother found out that her child was seated at a table with those three students and emailed the principal asking that her child be seated away from them.
The principal responded with “Yes, done.”
On March 23, 2023, the child was taken to the doctor who recommended he stop attending Shoally Creek Elementary School.
After that information was released, the second substitute teacher resigned.
The Director of Education for Spartanburg County School District Two confirmed that some assaults were documented in the school’s system.
The mother asked that her son be moved to another school within the district.
The lawsuit said that the request was never accepted.
According to records, the principal resigned from her position at the end of the 2022-2023 school year.
The following statement is from the children’s attorneys: "I am proud to represent these boys and their mothers. District 2 and Shoally Creek administration knew that certain students were acting inappropriately and were a danger to other students, but they chose not to do anything about it. Kids should be safe when they are at school, and my clients were not." - Law Office of Tyler Rody
7NEWS reached out to Spartanburg County School District Two for a statement but has not received one.
The Law Office of Tyler Rody said they will be going to court in September.
https://www.wjbf.com/news/south-carolina-news/parents-file-lawsuits-against-sc-school-district-for-sexual-assaults-in-classroom/
What do you think is going to happen? District loses or settles the lawsuit and pays a lot of money and then...

In our modern quest for sustainability, composting has emerged as one of the simplest and most effective ways to reduce waste and nourish the earth. Among the various composting methods, natural composting stands out for its simplicity, affordability, and environmental friendliness. Let’s explore the world of natural composting, its benefits, how to get started, and why it’s an essential practice for anyone looking to make a positive impact on the planet.
What is Natural Composting?
Natural composting with natural composter , also known as traditional or manual composting, involves the decomposition of organic waste materials using natural processes. It relies on microorganisms, insects, and earthworms to break down waste into nutrient-rich compost. Unlike advanced composting systems that require mechanical or electrical aids, natural composting harnesses the power of nature to recycle organic matter.
Benefits of Natural Composting

1. Environmental Sustainability:

By diverting organic waste from landfills, natural composting reduces methane emissions, a potent greenhouse gas. It also lowers the overall carbon footprint by recycling waste into valuable compost.

1. Soil Health:

Compost improves soil structure, enhances its water-holding capacity, and provides essential nutrients. It promotes healthy plant growth and reduces the need for chemical fertilizers.

1. Cost-Effective:

Natural composting requires minimal investment. You can start with a simple compost pile or bin, making it accessible for anyone.

1. Waste Reduction:

Composting significantly reduces the volume of household waste, leading to fewer trash pickups and lower disposal costs.

1. Educational Value:

It’s an excellent way to teach children and communities about the cycles of nature and the importance of sustainability.
Getting Started with Natural Composting

1. Choose a Composting Method:

• Compost Piles: Ideal for large yards, simply pile your organic waste in a designated area.
• Compost Bins: Suitable for smaller spaces, bins can be made from wood, plastic, or metal.
• Trench or Pit Composting: Dig a trench or pit, fill it with waste, and cover it with soil.

1. Select a Location:

Choose a well-drained spot with good air circulation and partial sunlight. Ensure it’s easily accessible but not too close to living areas to avoid potential odors.

1. Collect Organic Waste:

Gather kitchen scraps (vegetable peels, fruit cores, coffee grounds) and yard waste (leaves, grass clippings, plant trimmings).

1. Layering:

Alternate layers of greens (nitrogen-rich materials like kitchen scraps) and browns (carbon-rich materials like leaves and cardboard). Aim for a 2-3 parts brown to 1 part green ratio.

1. Maintain Moisture:

Water it occasionally if it becomes too dry, especially in hot weather.
Turn the Pile:
Regularly turning the pile aerates it, promoting faster decomposition and preventing odors. Turn every 1-2 weeks.

1. Harvest the Compost:

This typically takes several months to a year, depending on conditions.
Tips for Successful Natural Composting

1. Balance Materials:

Ensure a good mix of greens and browns to maintain the right carbon-to-nitrogen ratio, which is crucial for effective decomposition.

1. Shred Larger Items:

Breaking down large items like branches and cardboard speeds up the composting process.

1. Avoid Pests:

Bury food scraps in the pile and cover them with browns.

1. Monitor Temperature:

A healthy compost pile will heat up due to microbial activity. If it cools down, turning it can reactivate the process.

1. Compost Activators:

Adding garden soil or finished compost introduces beneficial microorganisms to jumpstart the process.
Real-World Applications

1. Home Gardens:

Enrich your garden soil with homemade compost, promoting healthy plants and reducing the need for chemical fertilizers.

1. Community Gardens:

Engage your community in composting efforts, turning local organic waste into valuable compost for shared green spaces.

1. Schools:

Incorporate composting into environmental education programs, teaching students about sustainability and natural cycles.

1. Small Farms:

Utilize compost to improve soil health, enhance crop yields, and promote sustainable farming practices.
Conclusion:
Natural composting is a powerful tool in our sustainability toolkit. It turns everyday organic waste into a valuable resource, enriching our soil and reducing our environmental impact. Whether you’re a homeowner, a teacher, a farmer, or a community leader, embracing natural composting can make a significant difference. Start your composting journey today and join the movement towards a greener, more sustainable future.

Westside Familia 13 formed by a group of brothers, cousins and friends from the LA south central district, moving to the IE San Bernardino county school districts areas getting threatened and harassed by IE gangs on how they were not allowed and that they were tougher! This led the group of friends and family to get together and form a gang to fight back! Most conflict started with graffiti and (WSF) members tagging LA on walls which led these IE gangs furious and started targeting these groups. They soon realized after one member got brutally beat by multiple members of the IE gang that they wanted to get revenge but not from LA kids but their new gang which they started calling themselves the Westside Familia 13 gang. Westside indicating that they were coming from the LA area west of the Inland Empire and Familia because it was brothers, cousins, and close friends only in the beginning of it all. Soon they started fighting back setting up organized crimes and becoming part of narcotic, and weapon sales in Fontana, Ontario, Pomona areas. There is 2 different sets in (WSF) the Baby Lokos Sur known for the OG members and Tiny Block Gangsters for the newer generation

I female age 15 was living in a camper in Rhode Island with my mom age 31 and my dad age 33 along with 2 siblings my mom got into a car crash which gave her a concussion so I had to take care of my family and was like a house wife every time I got off from school my dad didn't help unless it involved my siblings with his game console or with nothing other than steal my mom's stuff to go through it to make sure she didnt catch him cheating on her which she did but I hid it all which he had a suspicion of but my mom was acting like a child at the time I wasn't focused on the remarks my dad would make when i was In shorts about how my butt looked like mom's but bigger and how I was better than her while my mom was getting better my was about to be 15 but I notice while my dad made dirty remarks he was reading a online book and I caught him multiple times in my parents bedroom alone rocking his stick and why I mentioned this is because that book he was reading was my whole bathroom situation but with Mafia people in his book while reading my mom was mostly recovered by the week before my birthday and my dad gas lighted her that I did nothing while he did everything and my mom believed him for 2 days before he tattled on himself about looking through her phone and finding evidence of him cheating which make them fight and argue which they were doing before the crash during the week before my birthday I got a road rash which will be a scar for ever a reminder of how my dad was able to look at me in the camper the shower doors were made of glass and if the temperature was lukewarm then you could see everything on the other side I turned 15 on the day of my road rash I got into the shower around 8:00 p.m. while washing my wound my father went in there and didn't say a word and just started brushing his teeth and looking towards the mirror which at the time was not looking my way I was okay with it at first cuz I thought it would just be for that day but the next 3 weeks it went to a transition of him looking at the mirror then to him leaving the bathroom door open lean on the wall towards the shower staring while playing toxic masculinity podcast of how women and Young women should do what men tell them and I wasn't on social media a lot so I didn't know what "alpha" male ment but women would refer them as that or they would refer them selfs as that but then to every couple of days during those three weeks was like him pushing boundary after boundary to the point where I can't handle it cuz he tried to touch the doorknob to open the glass doors I told him that I wasn't comfortable two times along with my younger siblings telling him to get out because they saw him in there because the door was open which he told them that it was okay and that he was my dad and everybody deserve to be in there it was him during the third day of the first week of this happening I wanted to prove to myself that my father wasn't like his stepfather which was a S A @bus€r of mine when I was 4 through 6 and because I thought it was because of my schedule of me getting in the shower late so I changed my schedule throughout the last 2 weeks while he was pushing boundaries I would change the times where it would inconvenience my mother during her naps or whatever she needed to do to get better cuz she had appointments or she would be like dead asleep and she would need me to watch my siblings but I was busy in the shower and they were messing with her while she had a headache and my father was complaining about the hot water for dishes and other women chores I need or my mother needed to complete but the part that makes it the most messed up is that when it was 20 minutes of me being still in the shower he would walk out and I would hurry up and get out and he would go back to his game console or smoke a cigarette and not good to bed or a couple of hours on the last day of the third week my mom asked me about it cuz she was finally starting to be aware of everything and I told her to wait and I would get in the shower as soon as I got home and he will be in there and she didn't believe me but once I got home and got in there he was in there with the door open my mom grabbed him by his shoulder and ripped him out and yelled at him and told him if he ever did that again that she would go get her shotgun cuz now she's more aware than she has ever been after the crash and he said that I was taking a shower late and then maybe I should be taking showers so late and then maybe I should be using all the hot water and that I'm his daughter he changed my diapers so if he wants to be in there he can be in there if you want the door open for some air he can have it open cuz he also pays the bills and owns everything and that I should be grateful which made my mom come up with a plan to start secretly moving after that day I called my aunt and my uncle who did not believe me and thought there was a better explanation but they did see my point of view but still thought I was being dramatic they question my father and he lied and said it was for 3 days more arguments started and one day when I had a school day off my dad as soon as he found out stayed home while my mom had to be at a appointment and thought he already left but instead he went to chill and came back to have a conversation with me and told me that I was delusional and that if I was uncomfortable I should have told him and when I told him I did and that he didn't say a word he said that he must have not heard me and once I told him that I said it loud and clear and that all you did was sigh and looked like he was about to cry and was mad he said that I'm just like my mother and that we deserve each other and then went on to if he had to have boundaries with me then I have to have boundaries with my mother and we can't get changed in front of each other because we are both bisexual and then proceeded to tell me that I don't know what's going on and then told me that I should be ashamed because I don't know how it feels to feel like a predator in your own home which left me speechless because I know what it's like to have predators around you every corner and he knows this and when I told him that he told me to grow up and that my hormones should be kicking in and I should have already forgotten about his stepfather my mom came home and my dad said he wanted a divorce and felt like I would take his side which my mom says working on it and took me for a drive and I told her all about it and then a couple of days later I woke up to my mom crying and naked because my mom had sex with my dad and when he was done and he got her done he kicked her out of the room and when she was wondering why he said she was more convenient then to go get a stranger and do it in the back of a truck my mom told me to go back to bed and I did at the time not fully knowing what was going on till that day that my mom going back on her word thinking she needed him telling me not to break up the family and that if he agrees the counseling we're staying even if I said no and don't like it which he didn't of course and also I told her that I would kill her and him and that I have thought about it and was in their room multiple times with a weapon think about killing them both because of the things they do which made my mom understand that she needed to grow up and leave him now which is sad for me to say but we finished up packing we got a U-Haul and before we left my mom thought it would be fair to him if my siblings had a board game night with him which later I left cuz I couldn't handle that my siblings get a perfect dad well I always got a cursing child beating lying disciplining me for no reason father and couldn't handle that my mom didn't leave them for a military hasn't killed my father or believe me on many occasions or didn't do anything because of him and because of her always needing him he went to go find me a hour later and talked and walked with me said the same things as the other conversation and when I brought up multiple predators in my life and how he did nothing for example I had a high school boy threatened to r@p€ me in the third grade and him and his friends chase me around and has kissed me and touched me multiple times for 2 years and and he said that he couldn't because that high school boy was a friends son but told him to stop but this friend was a mistress of his which later to find out that it would have been 4 years of harassment if my mother didn't threaten to burn his house which again shows that my father is a liar and my mother even proved it to me by showing me pictures of text between the high school boy and the mother and her but at the end of the conversation a dark side of me popped out and just went to try to go grab the nearest gun to shoot him cuz my father has an eye nose twitch when he lies and he has to be active or loud when he's trying to be manipulative and at the end he thought we had a great dad and talk even though I was still crying and he was like a brick wall cuz he thought I was like my mom and I would give up my mom stopped me and told me that I shouldn't go to jail and that we are moving tomorrow she will make sure of it no more delays and no more of letting me down we move to Texas where we're originally from and while living with a relative my little siblings could talk to our father which slowly broke the relationship because he would always try to bring up me and how he wanted to talk to me which later you can't stand not talking to me that he stopped paying child support until I talk to him and in between breaking the relationship with my siblings slowly they started seeing the dad that I saw and while here with my relative my mom got some console and help cuz at the time my dad was paying for child support but there was enough to get me help which my family thinks I desperately need but when child support stopped her console stopped cuz she can't afford it then drama started happening with the relative we were with and we've been moving ever since but now my mom is on the road making a lot of money to make up for no child support until the child support office is get their affairs in order and we are living with relative to relative that will take us in and watches but my mom will be coming back soon to get a rent house so that we can finally settle down after a whole year of dealing with all this without him and I'll be 16 and I don't know how to feel cuz it marks the anniversary of a scar physical emotional and mental and still cuts deep

Week two of trying to move on...
I am writing this hoping to get it out of my chest and maybe feel a little less lonely.
I (27F) just had a really really heartbreaking and depressing breakup and this is the first time I've ever been this hurt. This is the worst feeling I've ever felt in my entire life, emotionally, mentally. Sobbing at the moment as of typing this and my tears just doesn't seem to stop. It just keeps on flowing and flowing since i woke up this morning it suprised me how much tears I have. My chest feels SO heavy I cannot breathe properly anymore and my head aches. I cannot pull myself to get up my bed, I absented to work and even to my postgrad school. I don't eat. I don't even feel hunger anymore. For someone who eats a lot, it surprised me that it is possible to not feel hunger and I don't desire food. All I feel is this heartache. This tightening and heaviness of my chest. This is unbearable. I loved this person so much too much. Even more than myself, I believe. I would do anything for him. I endured a lot for him. Because I love him so much. I would forgive him so fast because I love him so much. I am at my happiest state whenever I am with him. He is the first man I've ever loved. And when I love, I give my all, it's 110%! I keep on looking back and thinking that maybe if I loved him so much more, maybe if I did this, maybe if i did not say these things, maybe we will still be happy together. Maybe if i did not raise the issues, it would not lead to this. I am feeling alot of regret. Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut. But I was hurting too much I had to say those things. I am extremely sad, heartbroken, and down. I need help. I need someone to talk to. I need someone to cry with. I dont know. It hurts so bad. And I feel so alone. I am a big introvert and I only have a very very few friends and they are far far away from me. I don't think I'll ever be okay. I am in constant pain. Some might say keep yourself busy, get a hobby, but I cannot even focus on my work and school anymore how much more than that. I am messing up a lot of my work and I have my exam in 2 weeks and I haven't studied sht. :(
I love reddit and this has helped me so much in a lot of things. So, if I may, I would like to humbly ask the community of reddit, those who have been through the same experience, or just anyone who has anything to say, if you would be so kind as to lend me a tiny bit of your time and maybe drop in the comments something, anything really, that maybe would help make me feel better and a little less lonely. Thank you very much.
Reason: I raised the issues (that I feel) regarding our relationship. The talk did not go well. He let go of me.
How long:
Years of admiring him: 2yrs
Together: 2yrs

Hi ! I've put around 9 hours in Fez for now and I'm loving it. I love trying to understand what the game want from me but I feel a bit stuck right now. I'd be very happy if someone could give me some advice, nothing too revealing please, I still want to understand the game by myself. This is where I am :

• I've reach the first ending and obtained the first person mode and also the flying cheat.
• I have 32 cubes and 13 anticubes.
• I have the red artifact (reading ?) the green artifact (calculus ?) and the book artifact.
• I have all the treasure maps.
• I understood the language with the tetrominos where you have to input buttons to unlock stuff.
• I lowered the water level.
• I think I explored almost the entirety of the map, except for some areas behind codes I don't understand and the 64 cubes locked door.

I have no idea what to do with :

• The U shape pillars, I think they emit a sound, or a vibration, but I don't know what to do with it.
• The pillars with a hole on top and a little cube inside. I have 0 idea about those.
• The Telescope. It shows something at night but what can I do with this information ?
• The Bell.
• The big black spinning thing
• The room with all the doors and the treasure maps. I think I need to understand how to read numbers.

What I'd like to understand the most is how to read and how to do calculations. I tried to understand so hard by myself but I don't have any idea how to translate those weird squares into letters. I also know I need to understand how to calculate using the board in the school of the broken city but I don't get it.
Maybe just tell me where I can find the most useful info on how to understand those two concepts ?
Is there some bruteforce I need to do somewhere in order to better understand something ?
Thanks a lot for your help !

Basically, in primary school, I had autism and ADHD, everyone thought I was weird and we were kids, so no one really liked me. I also needed a speech therapist in primary school to even teach me how to socialise, took me a while to get the hang of it. Now I'm in high school and I still feel "weird" and becoming more distant from my friends. Is this related and anyone have any tips?

TLDR; my ex treated me terribly and I’m still trying to get over it.
This isn’t something I would normally post but I am hoping it’ll be cathartic for me. This might be a long one and a bit of a mess so feel free to skip if you’re not interested in the read.
I 28f up until last August I was in a relationship with who we’ll call ‘M’ 24f for almost 2 years. We met on hinge. In general I’m very shy and not very confident person, and definitely new to dating as I spent most of my teens and early 20’s in the closet due to internalized homophobia. So I don’t have much experience dating. That context is important for the story. By all accounts, M was probably out of my league, (that’s what I told myself, again I have zero self confidence ) she was attractive, smart, came from a good family and on the surface a nice girl. The beginning the relationship was fine, she was in uni for medicine and her school schedule was pretty demanding. We’d only see each other maybe one every month in the beginning of the relationship, I understood she was busy with school and honestly I was still feeling lucky that she chose me to date.
A few months go by and we still remain only seeing each other once a month because her school schedule was so demanding. This is when the red flags start to wave, her school schedule was so demanding yet she was in multiple choirs that she would sing in once a week. She made time for choir but when I asked to hang out I was made to feel like a bother. Plus she played DND with at least 2 different groups of people.
Early in the relationship we were in her car after she dropped me off I asked if we could see each other a little more and she had a strange reaction, I didn’t want to seem needy so I backed off and later apologized via text. She responded with; “sometimes I just like to be alone.” Which as an introvert; I get 100%, so I let it be. But like….we only saw each other once a month as it was…..how could you possibly be alone any more??? I was always the one to ask to hang out, always. And every time I did I would sheepishly ask if she had some free time that weekend to hang out, because I felt like such a bother to her. I’m not exaggerating when I say we would easily go 3-5 weeks without seeing each other in person. We would text every day. But seeing her in person was a luxury. But don’t worry she always had time for choir every single week. Twice a week. Or DND. But seeing her girlfriend was too much strain on her school schedule.
I was always the one to text first. Whether it was good morning, or saying good night. Later in the relationship I wouldn’t text her just to see how long it would take her to text me that day, most time it wasn’t until 3-4 pm that I heard from her.
We never had sex, we barely even kissed.(which isn’t really important to me but damn). It was so difficult to have alone time with her so there was quite literally never an opportunity for intimacy. Towards the end of our relationship we would watch the bachelorette with her mom at her place, so we never had alone time for the last 3 months of dating.
For both valentines days we were together I sent flowers and chocolate to her house. She didn’t get me anything. For my 27th birthday we went out with my friends, and a small part of me wondered if she would offer to pay for my meal. Nope. She also didn’t get me a birthday gift or even a card. Flash forward to Christmas I get her a 250$ makeup palette that she always talked about and a blanket from her favourite K-Pop band. I got an xbox gift card and a cookbook. I need to emphasize that I DO NOT CARE ABOUT presents, I just literally wanted any sort of acknowledgment that she cared about me at all. I also feel the need to point out she has money, both her parents are lawyers and they are very well off and she gets paid to go to school because her field is very specialized. I was raised by a single mother and while I have my own career now, I’m far from rich. But I always went above and beyond to make her feel special and she did the bare minimum. Sometimes not even the bare minimum. This next one really bothered me; its my 28th birthday and I hadn’t mentioned it was coming up. A sick part of me wanted to see if she would remember, I know it’s stupid to test people in a relationship but I was genuinely curious to see if she would remember. It comes the day of my birthday, and I don’t hear from her until 3:30 pm. “Happy Birthday!” That was it. I was floored. A couple days later she managed to squeeze me into her schedule and we go out for dinner. Again, didn’t pay for my meal. For her birthday we went to a nice restaurant and I paid for the entire fucking thing it was almost 150$. Don’t worry she got me an xbox gift card though……..
But the worst part, beyond not seeing each other was how she treated me and made me feel. In the beginning she was very nice and kind, but slowly I think her true colours came out. She’s very smart, but she needs to be right all the time. Like literally every single conversation she needs to come out as right. I was never allowed to have my own opinions, she would make me feel stupid and correct me every time. I’m a bit of a goof and like to be silly, but she would look at me like I was an idiot, if I did a pretend British accent she would criticize it and tell me to stop. In the end I felt like a shell of myself. I was terrified to say something stupid. She would call out every single thing I did, if I merged a lane early while driving, called out (that actually happened). If I wiped my mouth after every bite, called out. If I said something she would have to google it to prove she was right or at least prove that I was wrong.
I would participate in her family activities, like birthdays and holidays. Side note: her family is lovely. I got especially close with her mom. Her mother is a sweetheart, a lovely human being and she treated me better than her daughter ever did. Her mom and I even snap chatted every day. M wouldn’t open my snaps for days and I could see when she was online. As weird as it might seem, I would have rather hung out with her mom than her. There were a couple times when we were with her mom, that M would call me out on something trivial and even her own mother was picking up on the vibes.
I had convinced myself I really liked this person, once I told her I loved her. Why, I’ll never know. She responded with “thanks, I’m not there yet but thanks for telling me.” I was gutted. I didn’t love her. I never did. In the end I hated her.
I would lie to my friends about her and say I was happy, my mom liked her which was the worst part because it would break her heart if she knew how I was feeling and being treated. I would make it seem like I was happy and she was this lovely person, but deep down I was dying. Towards the end of our relationship I was hanging out with a good friend of mine and someone who helped me a lot through my journey of accepting my identity as a lesbian. She asked me about my relationship and how it was going, and I honestly couldn’t say anything positive. This was the first time I was honest with someone in my life about how unhappy I was and I wasn’t sure how to process it.
Eventually she broke up with me; she said she felt like she made me nervous and that I cared about her more than she cared about me. Initially it hurt, and I felt bad. But after an hour, I wanted to do a freaking backflip. I was elated to be free. For the past 2 years I had felt like less of myself than I had ever been. It was the worst 2 years mentally of my life. I had twisted myself up into this sheepish person who just felt lucky to be chosen by someone. My self worth was so low that I thought this was the relationship I deserved, that I would never find anyone else and I should just be grateful that she chose me.
As the title says I’m still trying to recover and heal. It’s been about 9 months since I last saw her and I’m working on myself. That relationship showed me how compromised my mental health was and that I need to take care of myself. I have been seeing a therapist. Now don’t get me wrong I have struggled with mental health my entire life, but those 2 years were the worst of it. I’m not dating right now because I want to focus on myself and my personal goals first.
I still feel very embarrassed for how I let her treat me and embarrassed that I didn’t know the relationship was toxic. If anything I learned a lot from this experience.
If you have made it this far props to you because this was kind of a hot mess and wayyy too long. But it’s been bothering me even more lately and I guess I just felt like this might help. Even if no one reads it.
She didn’t want a relationship, I don’t know what she wanted. She used school as a buffer to limit the amount she saw me. I feel bad for the next person she dates and I hope they come to their senses quicker than I did. I deleted her off everything and I hope to never see her again. In closing, I fucking hate her guts.

Hi everyone, apologies if this has been asked before but I really want to learn Irish but don’t know where to start.
My whole family and myself are from Dublin but we moved up north before I started school and Irish isn’t taught here and none of my family speak it.
We don’t have any Irish classes close to where I live and I’m really struggling with how to learn. I’ve been doing duo lingo for maybe 3 months which is helpful for vocab but I just know that most of the pronunciation is wrong. It also doesn’t teach any grammar.
Most of the resources or YouTube videos I see online are targeted to Irish people who learned Irish in school and have forgotten a lot, there’s not much for complete beginners.
I know it’s not quick or easy to learn and it will take a long time to be fluent, maybe never since I don’t have anyone to converse with but I’d just love to get a good grasp of it
Id love any advice, tips or resources
Grma