These are just my musings from following this topic and reading this trilogy of books. I am interested in hearing your thoughts.
Lue Elizondo has mentioned how popular this book series is, how the Chinese government seems to embrace and promote it, despite the first book going into sensitive issues like the cultural revolution that the Chinese government usually suppresses. He found that interesting and sort of hinted at this being some form of soft disclosure.
I’ve been reading the series and am just about finished, and a few things stood out to me. This post will contain spoilers, so if you are curious about reading the books or watching the next few seasons of the Netflix adaptation, please stop reading as the rest of this post will be spoilers. I still have about 100 pages left of the last book, so I look forward to seeing how my view changes.
First, the NHI use sophons to actively monitor us while being cloaked and somehow inhibit our technology advancements. The Black Keys appeared on Joe Rogan a month or so ago and said that Tom DeLonge said there are thousands of UAPs in our airspace and they are listening/monitoring us and building an AI model (interestingly, it wasn’t clear if it’s the government building the AI, or the UAPs). I thought this connection was interesting.
We’ve also heard a lot of discussion that nonhuman intelligence may be inter dimensional. Near the end of this book trilogy, the aliens send a device that converts our solar system into a two dimensional plane, basically killing and flattening everything into a plane like a painting. What if the “dark” side is that, either this is coming, or that we are being restricted to three dimensional space from an outside NHI force, when we are actually capable of perceiving or existing in higher dimensions? That would seem to align with the reported Varghina alien quote along the lines of “I feel sorry for you humans, you have no idea where you are from and what you are capable of.”
Thoughts?

I drive a 2014 ford fiesta. The car died while driving. It didn’t sputter and the electronics stayed on but the engine stopped. It will start but it won’t crank over. The car is throwing a P0010 code. I checked under the hood and the wiring where the main wiring harness is connected to the front most VVT sensor was cut. I spliced in a new connector to the harness. First with heat shrink connectors but that didn’t work. I thought it might not be getting a good enough connection so I removed the heat shrink and twisted the wires by hand. Still nothing. It is only throwing the P0010 code. I tried disconnecting the battery and manually clearing the codes but neither fixed the issue. It will crank and crank but no start. I’ve also replaced the both cam shaft position sensors bc that is what the parts guy said before I looked myself.
I’m trying to figure out where to go from here so I asked for a quote from a mobile mechanic in the area. Told them everything I stated above. Got a quote back for $160.86 just for an inspection. Is that reasonable? I’m still looking and waiting for other quotes but I just feel like that’s a steep price to pay just for an inspection when I’ve given them this much information and done the work so that everything in my engine looks as it should. Obviously something is still wrong but the wiring is fixed and the sensors are too so it seems like more of a computer issue at this point than anything else.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DdJxUSevYf0
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Hello! I'm 28 (F) years old, living in South Florida. I work with my father - we run an architecture & construction company together. I usually decide how much my salary is (due to taxes), last year was gross 100k. From my actual income I save up around 40%-50% of my net income. I have no CC or student loan debt. Only debt is a new car I purchased and a mortgage for a 3BR apartment I purchased last year, but I rent the property out, paying off mortgage and HOA and receiving extra $300 net a month. I live with my partner, and pay half the mortgage, which is only $750. We dont have kids nor intend to in the near future.
Last year I paid off my Volkswagen Tiguan 2016. I was very excited about it, because I've been with this car for almost 6 years now and was happy to not pay any more monthly payments. The monthly payments were pretty low, they were $290 a month. The Tiguan has 110,000 miles currently, but drives pretty well EXCEPT, it is burning oil like crazy. I changed the turbo (which was about $800) mechanic suggested the Turbo was leaking and also changed the tires (came out to about $800) for brand new Pirelli tires. This was all around last year in October. All in all, I think I've spent around $2,000 (including almost monthly oil changes) to maintain it. Someone suggested to change a valve which is pretty inexpensive and that will be the next step. Other than that, the car is in GREAT condition and honestly looks brand new on the exterior.
See link for pictures (https://imgur.com/a/0eD7PSi)
This year I got kind of tired of using the same car and purchased a used 2020 Miata. I always wanted this car and was really looking forward to it. I don't really sit in traffic at all, in fact most days I work from home. I'm loving this new car. The monthly payments are $460. So a bit more than my last car but still within the range I was looking to stay in AND insurance is even lower than the Tiguan at around $102 p/month.
My question IS..... If you were in my position what would you do? I intended the Miata to be a second car, but now I'm not really seeing the point of it. Yes I put away my Miata when Im not using it during the week, but I want to drive the damn car every day now. I could perhaps spend about $300 more to fix up the Tiguan and sell it myself or to CarMax, which I got quoted in person for $9,000. I could maybe get a bit more if I sell myself on Marketplace or something. Saw some on Facebook selling at around $12,000. What I'm worried about is the car depreciating even more and I have no other need for it other than "I paid for it."
What would I do with that money? I would put it in my savings account to buy a second property later this year or the next. The first property I bought last year I remodeled it myself and rented it within 2 months. I want to do the same this year or early next year. I will have the money regardless of me selling the car or not, but maybe I would be able to get it sooner than I planned.
Sorry for long post, I wanted to share my thoughts and circumstances.
Thanks!

Honestly, finding information about this is not as easy as it seems and I'm a relatively new, (very) naïve homeowner so I'm reaching out...
My backyard already has a natural gas line hook up for a barbeque. Partner and I just bought and assembled a new NG barbeque, but I can't for the life of me figure out how or who I am supposed to call to connect the BBQ to this existing line.
From what I've read so far, Enbridge does not do this service and suggests contacting an HVAC professional (okay but who??). I've reached out to one company for more info/quote (Gas Man Ottawa) and didn't hear anything. Looking on their website it seems the services offered are more so about putting in/fitting a new gas line (unless this is considered "installing a new appliance"?) I've read elsewhere plumbers won't do it... Do Home Depot/Hardware/Rona etc offer these types of services? Can anyone recommend a pro for me to call? Can we just do it ourselves? Since it's dealing with gas, I don't want to try first without checking.
Thanks in advance!

This is my first time posting and I'm using a throwaway account just in case. Names have been changed.
TL;DR: I have custody of my niece and nephew, do I take custody of my newborn nephew too?
My husband (29M) and I (30F) currently have emergency custody of our 11yo niece Sasha and our 8yo nephew Thomas. (We’ve been together 13 years next month.) Their mother (my SIL) Jessica (31F) and father Ronald (43M) have drug abuse, mental health, and domestic issues. They have their entire relationship. (They’ve been off and on for 12 years.)
We received emergency custody about 8 months ago.
Here's where I need some input on if we don't take emergency custody of my SIL and Ronald's baby who is now 5 weeks old. His name is Collin. He was removed from their care at a week old. He is currently with other resource parents who aren't family. As there is not ANY other family within ours capable of taking these children.
My husband and I do not have any kids, we had a double income but since choosing to raise our niece and nephew I left my job to better take care of them and our home. (This was a mutual decision between my husband and I.)
We were literally in the process of trying for a baby when my husbands sister (Jessica) announced she was pregnant again, and then a few months later her older two kids were removed from her care.
Now that Collin is a month old, and Jessica and Ronald have made little to no progress: guardianship is on the table and I have concerns about the 3 kids not growing up together, or Collin currently creating bonds with strangers and issues that could cause down the line. My heart is breaking and I’m so conflicted. I don’t know if we should take custody of Collin, and that’s what I need advice on.

This is my first time posting and I'm using a throwaway account just in case. Names have been changed.
TL;DR: I have custody of my niece and nephew, do I take custody of my newborn nephew too?
My husband (29M) and I (30F) currently have emergency custody of our 11yo niece Sasha and our 8yo nephew Thomas. (We’ve been together 13 years next month.) Their mother (my SIL) Jessica (31F) and father Ronald (43M) have drug abuse, mental health, and domestic issues. They have their entire relationship. (They’ve been off and on for 12 years.)
We received emergency custody about 8 months ago.
Here's where I need some input on if we don't take emergency custody of my SIL and Ronald's baby who is now 5 weeks old. His name is Collin. He was removed from their care at a week old. He is currently with other resource parents who aren't family. As there is not ANY other family within ours capable of taking these children.
My husband and I do not have any kids, we had a double income but since choosing to raise our niece and nephew I left my job to better take care of them and our home. (This was a mutual decision between my husband and I.)
We were literally in the process of trying for a baby when my husbands sister (Jessica) announced she was pregnant again, and then a few months later her older two kids were removed from her care.
Now that Collin is a month old, and Jessica and Ronald have made little to no progress: guardianship is on the table and I have concerns about the 3 kids not growing up together, or Collin currently creating bonds with strangers and issues that could cause down the line. My heart is breaking and I’m so conflicted. I don’t know if we should take custody of Collin, and that’s what I need advice on.

Apologies ahead for what might be a bit of a rambly post, but I had a thought about box office that generally and I guess I wanted some feed back on weather or not I'm right or not.
So there's been a lot of analysis in the past few weeks about the merit of theatrically released original mid-budget movies, the kinds of movies that Hollywood "Doesn't make anymore". I want to center this idea around "Challengers" specifically as it's box office has felt like a rorschach test for it's box office, some people say that's it numbers are impressive for what it is, some people are saying that it's doing poorly considering it's nowhere near completing the 2.5x rule of thumb for it's box office considering it's 55 mil budget. Currently the movie is at 69.2 million (nice) and will probably get no where it's needed 137.5 million. Objectively, in many ways it's a flop. However a couple of things

1. It's by far the most successful erotic tennis drama of all time, not sure if there are literally any other movies in that sub-genre but it's still an achievement.
2. And much more importantly, Challengers domestic and international number have been solid and okay for a drama, combined with the fact that it's generated a ton of buzz on social media, this leads to one conclusion; Challengers is going to make a killing on streaming.

Challengers is going to be insanely big on VOD, and rentals, and it's going to get an insane amount of viewership when it comes to Prime Video, it might even be Amazon's biggest movie on there (though I'm not sure how much that would mean, I honestly can't name what movie might actually be Amazon's biggest release)
All of this is to say is that Challengers is probably going to make it's money back or at least break even by the time it's done. Which like, on it's own, who cares ? Plenty of movies make their money back later. Well it got me thinking about that oft quoted Matt Damon quote, when he was on Hot Ones, and was talking about why the types of movies Hollywood makes has changes
"Well what happened was the DVD was a huge part of out business, of our revenue stream, and technology has just made that obsolete. So the movies we used to make, you could afford to not make all of your money when it played in the theatre because you had the DVD coming behind the release and six months later you would get a whole 'nother chunk, it be like opening the movie again almost. And when that went away it changed the type of movies we would make."
Why is this important, because, I would argue that Challengers is the exact type of movie Damon is talking about here. Challengers won't make it money back in theatres, theatrically it's a flop, but it's not a failure because theoretically that can be okay because it will make it money back down the line in Streaming/VOD.
Is this cope, possibly, I haven't seen Challengers, and am not invested in it's particular success but I'd like to see more movies like this succeed so in that way I am. My point in this is simply a desire to see more mid-budget films like Challengers in theatres and that maybe we just might be roping back around to how things were in the 80's and 90's when you sometimes you didn't have to make all of your money in theatres to make your money, and if true Hollywood could look at a movie like Challengers and decided that make more movies like it, not less.
Now I now there are couple of major caveats to my argument one being the smaller pie in general. Challengers is making significantly less, especially when you adjust for inflation, than adult dramas in the 80's and 90's made, AND worse still VOD and streaming probably isn't as profitable as DVD's and VHS's were, some of that is information not disclosed to the public so we don't know for sure, for sure, but we can surmise. So this isn't an everything is actually fine post. Hollywood still has a lot, like A LOT to do if wants to get back to where it was in the past if that's even possible
All I am is suggesting is an alternative way to look at things, and that this way of looking at the state of the box office, could mean that we end up with more unique and interesting theatrical releases and not less.
TL;DR - Hollywood might be going full circle back to the days of DVD's and VHS's with streaming now and this could still lead to more mid-budget theatrical releases like Challengers.
Addendum - A couple of other first though, A) Is VOD different from when Damon was talking about it ? That video was only from 2 years ago, but I believe Damon was talking about the general transition from DVD to Netflix in the early 2000's to 2010's. These were messy transitional years from Hollywood with a massive emphasize on simply subscribing to streaming services. PVOD is faster now as well as streaming hits like Saltburn proving to be MASSIVE for these services though it's impossible to tell just how much money a movie like that generated for Amazon since no one subscribes to a service like that for one movie, I have a feeling that Amazon and Netflix would rather have massive hits like that than not. This leads to my second important point
B) Challengers had to be in theatres to achieve whatever success it might have. While plenty of streaming exclusive movies do well, a lot of the MASSIVE streaming hits tend to be theatrical releases. Challengers couldn't have just gone to VOD or Netflix and been a hit, it's only the combination of a buzzy moderately successful theatrical release and then VOD/ streaming that any of this works. Okay bye now !

Recently my parents noticed a leak in their roof (townhouse in NY). They hired a roofing company to check. Their first estimate is $11,000 to replace shingles. My parents paid a $5000 deposit cash (god damn it, dumb as hell) and will pay $6000 after repair is done.
After removing shingles, the company says the wood under the shingle needs to be replaced. Shingle replacement is not enough, and then quoted me $25,000. (Understandable that scope has changed).
But we rather get another opinion/bid; we asked for the deposit back. The company refuses because they bought the material and already send some guys out (2 days of work for 3 guys). Alright, so we asked if we can get the material they bought. It's very obvious there was not 5k worth of work or material done. I asked for partial refund. They also refused material and partial refund and said we breached contract and they will keep our 5k deposit.
Now we're thinking to take them to small claims court. Has anyone had a similar experience? I kind of think we got scammed.

One of the fascinating aspects of outsider reports and analysis is what they see. Given that at this point (1992) the internet was not yet widely available/accessible, this sort of thing would have been difficult to find. And of course SGI wasn't ever going to tell us the truth!
This will show you that SGI-USA (then called "NSA") was failing in recruiting far earlier than perhaps most of us in the US realized. SGI in the USA was basically a flash in the pan; it fizzled fast; and now it's just that rank stale smoke smell that lingers long after the fire's been put out.
This comes from Cults and Nonconventional Religious Groups: A Collection of Outstanding Dissertations and Monographs, "Nichiren Shoshu Buddhism and the Soka Gakkai in America: The Ethos of a New Religious Movement", Jane Hurst, 1992, pp. 150-151. Jane Hurst has some interesting research out there; while she tends toward being uncritically supportive of SGI, anyone who is making statistics available is a big help.

NSA members in the 1960s and 1970s were young (52% below age 30), more than half female (59%), and from a variety of occupations and social classes.

The Baby Boom generation were at most age 19 in, say, 1965 and at most age 24 in 1970.
This youthfulness is largely reflected in the early organization's origins in the American servicemen who returned from being stationed in Japan with their Japanese war-brides - those servicemen tended to be young and from a variety of ethnicities and backgrounds, as the draft was still in effect during that time period (ended March 1975). In addition, the first General Director of the US organization, Masayasu Sadanaga, initially targeted college campuses for recruitment by offering lectures on Buddhism. Sadanaga changed his name to George M. Williams in 1972, in obedience to the (short-lived) direction back then of Japanese leaders adopting American-sounding names (first AND last) in order to appeal more broadly to non-Japanese Americans.

The percentage of Oriental members steadily decreased as more and more white and black Americans joined NSA as seen in Figure 10, above.

Figure 10 (I'll get to that line in another post.)
Ewps - Here's the REAL Figure 10.
Most of the original "Oriental members" were those Japanese war-brides, whose first efforts to recruit new SGI members were directed toward other Japanese individuals.

NSA members came from the major religious traditions of Protestantism (30%), Catholicism (30%), and Judaism (6%). At the time these 1971 statistics were compiled, all areas of American society. By 1983, the age span was even more broad, with 11% of the members age 50 and above, 62% ages 30-49, 24% ages 20-29, and 3% below age 19.

For reference, here are the age ranges for the existing generations in 1983:

• Greatest: Ages 59-82
• Silent: Ages 38-58
• Baby Boomers: Ages 19-37
• Generation X: Ages 4-18
• Generation Y (Millennials): Age 3 or younger.

While these 1983 statistics aren't broken down by generation, here's what is clear:

• 11% of the SGI-USA membership was MUCH OLDER than Baby Boomers
• 62% was either Baby Boom generation or older (though younger than that oldest group)
• 24% was Baby Boomers
• 3% was younger than Baby Boomers.

This means that 97% of the membership of SGI-USA was Baby Boom generation OR OLDER!

IN 1983!!

Notice how this affirms the demographic estimate from this other research: "Soka Gakkai in America": Little appeal/interest outside of Baby Boom generation

Take a look at Table 4.
Specifically, the Age cohort (%) category.
For the Converts, 26% are older than Baby Boomers; 61% are Baby Boomers. That makes 87% Boomer and older. Only 14% are younger than Boomers.
No wonder SGI-USA is aging and dying, with these kinds of numbers!
We are seeing, like, 90% Baby Boomers in the group photos we've looked at.
The pictures back this up.
Also, this comment by an SGI-USA leader a few years ago during Minoru Harada's visit (anyone know what year that was?):

They [top SGI-USA leaders] then went off on how when we create these big-ass meetings, we shouldn't have to look into the crowd and see, and I quote, "A bunch of old-ass motherfuckers" The words of my "superiors", not mine. I think this is when they brought up the idea of 50K to my co-leaders and me. Source

"Old-ass motherfuckers" is all they have. How 'bout showing a little of that appreciation and gratitude SGI bangs on about??
Worse, "old-ass motherfuckers" is all SGI-USA can get.
Further, again referring to Table 4, SGI-USA's membership is solidly 2/3 women. That means it's going to be very difficult for women in SGI-USA to find mates to marry, which means childlessness will be more of a norm than an exception. Child-free is a valid and respect-worthy decision, don't get me wrong, but a religion's most reliable source of younger members is its own membership's children. Since SGI-USA's female members don't feel any responsibility or obligation to bear multiple children (like those poor, stupid Mormon sheepwomen do), there won't be any next generation to take over.
There's a reason so many religions have traditionally exhorted their membership to have lots of babies, why they condemn birth control and abortion. A big part of it is to keep their own numbers up! Source

It's the same problem happening in Japan within the Soka Gakkai:

On the other hand, aging is relentless. In terms of the Soka Gakkai's membership demographics, the "volume zone" where most members fall is the baby boomer generation who joined by the 1960s. They are now late elderly. In the past, the management of centers in various places was handled by the "Gajokai" consisting of Young Men's Division members, but it is no longer possible to secure personnel. Instead, in 2009, the Soka Gakkai launched the "Ojokai'' consisting of "middle-aged divisions,'' scolding them as "young people in their 50s'' and rushing to mobilize them. Source

GOOD LUCK!

For perspective, note that SGI-USA was managing to recruit just "1,000 per YEAR" - including all ages - between 1991 and 1999. Eight years of only 1,000 members added per year, with no accounting for the deaths or defections. Were the years after that more successful, recruiting-wise? I doubt it.

[Then-SGI-USA's public-relations director for the East Coast Bill] Aiken says SGI-USA has attracted about 1000 new members per year for the past eight years. - from 1999. Only 1,000 new members - across the ENTIRE 360+ million-person strong USA - in an ENTIRE year. And this extremely low level of success for EIGHT YEARS IN A ROW!! Source

From 2018:

In recent years, the number of young Soka Gakkai members has been decreasing rapidly . Looking at the participants in the simultaneous broadcasts and roundtable discussions, the majority are of the grandparents' generation, with only a small number of young people in their 20s and 30s, and the number of teenage boys and girls is almost an endangered species .
Therefore, what I am interested in is the population of Soka Gakkai by age group. This time, I would like to estimate the current population of Soka Gakkai by age , based on information I have personally seen and heard and verification from others . Please note that this estimate is very rough.
First, the largest number of Soka Gakkai members are baby boomers (born between 1947 and 1949 [Japan's Baby Boom]). This seems almost certain considering the history of the development of Soka Gakkai .
Also, the total number of members has already been verified by many people, and is estimated to be around 3 to 5 million people. This time we assume about 4 million people .
And this is what I heard directly from a staff member at headquarters last year, who said , `` The number of activists decreases by about 1/3 with each generation.'' I think this is a reasonable rate of decline that can be felt by looking at participants in simultaneous broadcasts and roundtable discussions. It seems that members who have stopped being activists are less likely to have their children join, so this time we will use a value of 1/3 per generation as the member decline rate .
Also, regarding the number of years it takes for generational change, the average age for men and women to give birth to their first child is currently 30 years old. Considering that the average age of childbearing for both men and women when the baby boomer generation was born was 24 years old, and that there are cases where not only the first child but also the second and third children are born, the generational shift will take 30 years. Let's calculate it as if it would take a year . In that case, the annual membership attrition rate would be (1/3)^1/30 = 0.964, or 3.6% .
It is unclear when this trend of declining membership started, but this time we will assume that it started in the year following the baby boom generation (1950). Source

And "Soka Gakkai is like an old people's club":

Regarding the problem of a decline in Komeito votes, or in other words, a decline in active Soka Gakkai members, many people concerned point out that the primary cause is the aging of Soka Gakkai members. The enthusiastic members of the generation who supported the growth of the society along with charismatic Honorary President Daisaku Ikeda are now elderly across the board. Most of the current new members are second- or third-generation members who join because their parents are members of Soka Gakkai, and they are not very enthusiastic about Soka Gakkai's activities. Today, many of Soka Gakkai's daily events are even derided by insiders as "like an old people's party."

And a more recent report (this year):

Back about 20 years ago a good friend and good guy, now deceased, from ChiTown, was commissioned by SGI Central Command to survey every contactable member of SGI in every district in America. The number he came up with was 5% of the number of Gohonzon passed out since, I guess whenever Gohonzon started to be passed out. The total number was about a million give or take, 20 years ago. These were contactable people, not practicing members. I remember going through lists of people we had on the books and trying to see if they could be reached. So the number we came up with was reported. Hearing nothing about it, I happened to run into my friend at some event at Soka U. He mentioned that he did the survey, and gave me the results. I believe he told me the facts. (Not everyone who practiced was a lying asshole.) So about 20 years ago SGI had about 50,000 “contactable“ people who had received Gohonzon. My estimate that about half of that number had zero interest in SGI. Thus 20 years ago, SGI had about 25,000 members still interested in SGI in some capacity. I think it’s the same number today. (2500 districts x 10=25,000.) Like I said before I went to FNCC twice last year, and everyone, including me, were old zany seniors. Neither conference was for old people. Conclusion: SGI is a senior citizen support group. When I joined in1969, we were all hippie ish, rejecting all the old shit, looking for something new and hip. Now SGI looks like old shit. Source

And another (this year or last):

When I joined 50+ years ago the ratio of youth to MD and WD was about 80:20. Now it's the reverse. Our goal is to move steadily back to a youth focus again. Source

Except it's obvious that SGI-USA doesn't HAVE "20% youth":

Youth? They've got to be fooling themselves!!! When I was still with the SGI last February (2023), I went to the kosen-rufu gongyo meeting at the center in my area. Mind you, the state I live in closed its center in 2021 for undisclosed reasons. That aside, the one I went to was in another state, and at that meeting, they had no byakuren, Gajokai, or Soka Group in attendance. Additionally, the only youth at the meeting were a few small children. Source
I feel that SGI is out of touch with anyone who’s younger than 60. The leaders are retired, have a lot of time on their hands and completely disregard the fact that people may work or have families. For young people it’s the old people taking nonsense. Source

The PROBLEM was already evident in 1983 - and none of the SGI-USA's big "Recruit-Youth-A-Thons", like "Victory over Violence" and "Rock The Ego Era" and "50K Liars of Just-Us" (everybody wants to forget the epic fail that was the "Gandhi, King, Ikeda" exhibit), has made the slightest difference in this demographic disaster. In fact, preparing for the 2018 "50K" event, SGI-USA likely had only 2,451 members in the 12-35 (or perhaps 11-39) age group, just 9% of the most generous SGI-USA active membership total (~30,000).

Ikeda could have preserved a "youthful" Soka Gakkai by passing the Presidency to a younger candidate, but Ikeda refused, because Ikeda was too focused on and obsessed with HIMSELF - his power, his prestige, his wealth, his status, his fame, his renown, HIM becoming leader of the world, his PERMANENCY, and his legacy. He refused to let anyone else come anywhere CLOSE to the power and control - he greedily, selfishly clutched it all tightly to himself and refused to share.
THAT is why the Ikeda cult Soka Gakkai/SGI is aging and dying. It's ALL Ikeda's fault, Ikeda's responsibility. IKEDA DID THAT.
Some "mentor". Source

SGI-USA has never managed to recover from that demographic bottleneck that happened no later than 1983.

Howdy—
Newish to Erie. My forester needs the 60k mile service and I was wondering if anyone recommends a specific Subaru service center in the area. I went to New Motors for a new battery and they charged over $400 (it was an emergency my first day in the city and I didn’t have time to be picky or ask questions) so I’m leery about returning even though their quote ($1000 + tax) for the service was reasonable ish.
Thanks!

This is long but I NEED to get this off my chest. I was so crazy for this. Severe trigger warning at the end about suicidal ideation.
For context, I (33F) am well over 2 years out of this 6-year relationship. We were young, had little money, and it was a classic anxious + avoidant attachment. I am not faultless in the breakdown of our relationship. I had some borderline tendencies that I didn’t fully address. But I really, REALLY loved my ex-partner, Erin (32NB).
I was totally devoted to them. But we just never clicked. They had ADHD and I have clinical depression. They needed constant stimulation and activity while I only have the bandwidth to focus on one thing at a time, which is usually my work. Our priorities were also imbalanced since work is very important and fulfilling to me, but with them, not at all.
Erin was never thoughtful with me. Never flowers, never remembered my birthday, never anything sweet for the sake of it unless I asked. When we moved in together, I noticed they never asked me about my day. And they said, “Because I don’t care.” That should have been my first sign! Girl get out!
In the last year of our relationship, I had a severe PTSD-induced mental health crisis and needed to get some specialized treatment. It required me to change my work schedule to a four-day work week for about four months. I did my treatment sessions at home for one hour a week and needed total silence for that hour. Erin worked from home and my treatments usually coincided with breakfast or lunch. When I asked them to be a bit quieter in the kitchen, they told me no. “It’s my house too and I need to eat.”
These treatment sessions were absolutely brutal. Sometimes I would end up vomiting, I would stay in bed for entire weekends - it was was one of the most painful experiences of my life. (But it worked!) Erin would get so frustrated with me for not being able to do as many things with them. During this time, their friend Stephen (32M) got sick.
I loved Stephen so much. His mental health was always rough. His depression got to the point where he had a plan to end things, and Erin immediately raced to his side to support him. Stephen purchased something to help him carry out his ideation. Erin said they wanted to take it out of Stephen’s house so he no longer had access to it. I said “Yes, absolutely. Please do that - but I don’t want to see it. I’m not in a good enough place right now to see something like that.”
I got home and the item Stephen purchased was right outside the front door. I looked at Erin like I got punched in the gut, and their response was, “Huh. Oops. Sorry about that.”
We were together for another 6 months after that. I should have left right then. I should have left earlier that year when my best friend’s young nephew died tragically but Erin offered no comfort because “they didn’t know him.” But man, I was fucked. I wasn’t thinking clearly, and I truly must have thought I deserved such shit treatment.
You want to know what the honest truth is? They didn’t have a drivers license so I was their set of wheels. And I also have a really amazing cat that loved them so much. I think they stayed in the relationship for my cat.
Anyways, they were a putz. And they send their new partner flowers all the time I guess - which honestly? That makes me happy. At least there was growth following those six years. I hope they’re so much happier with her than they were with me, because damn.

I have been hearing a loud humming noise from my 2014 Audi Q7 TDI for the past few weeks. The car is new-to-me about 6 months ago, so I know very little of the maintenance or driving history. The noise was not present when we bought it from as a trade-in from the Audi dealer. The noise is most audible between about 40-70mph and fades slightly above that. I have run the engine in multiple RPM ranges and there is no change at all in the noise. When searching for possible culprits, the first one that comes up is always a wheel bearing, so I’ve tried several tests in an attempt to confirm if that’s the issue.

• I’ve lifted the car and run all the tires to listen for any abnormal noise but nothing sounded out of the ordinary to me. No grinding noises or anything. I’ve rotated each wheel independently, as well and didn’t feel or hear anything suspect. I am not confident that I would detect it since I have little experience diagnosing failed wheel bearings.
  
• I’ve jacked up each front wheel 1 at a time, then lifted the tire with a pry bar to feel for any looseness or play but could not detect any movement or noise.
  
• I’ve take it on long corners to load the wheel bearings but could not detect any wandering or change in tone of the noise.
  
• I’ve replaced the fuel filter in case it was clogged and causing the fuel pump to overwork. No change (this one seemed unlikely, but the fuel filter was due to be replaced anyway).
  
• I’ve replaced the tires just today, as the old tires were near the end of life anyway and worn oddly from what appears to be over inflation by the previous owner. I was really hoping that the $1800 would fix the problem but it persists.
  

I am not sure what else could be the culprit, it seems like I’m back to wheel bearings. Shop quoted me $1100 but they’re booked out until mid-June and my wife is supposed to be taking the car on a 2,000 mile trip to see family this Friday. I am not sure if the car is up to the drive without knowing what’s causing the issue. I’ve made an audio recording of the noise after replacing the tires this morning. It’s not the best recording because it doesn’t seem as loud as it is in person. This was recorded between 65-80mph so you could hear the change in tone as speed changes.

It’s been about a week since I posted and I wanted to give an update on how things ended up with my now former friend. I agreed to meet with him last night and hear him out. So we went for a drink and he apologized profusely for putting me in this spot and said he would never do that again.
So I took this opportunity to really express how disgusted I was with his behavior and that I couldn’t be friends with someone that intentionally tries to ruin families. I tell him Tom and his wife have 2 children they were happily married and he’s now destroyed their family. I ask if that is something he feels bad about. He says yes but I can tell he’s bullshitting.
I ignore the fact that he’s lying because I want to know how all of this went down. Tom’s wife didn’t want to share alot of detail with him so I promised that I would find out as much as I could. So I ask to see the texts between them. He resists but I threaten to walk out and never talk to him again so he gives me the phone.
He contacted her on Facebook after the party and they talked there for a day or two before switching to text. The conversations turned sexual very quickly and it was clear that Tom’s wife was interested in a quick fling. She says in the texts that she loves her husband but that doesn’t stop her. I’m shocked by this but my friend isn’t. This isn’t the first happily married woman who took up is offer for strings free sex.
Beyond what is in the texts my friend says Tom’s wife just wanted a temporary escape, to be someone she can’t be with her husband and once she got it out of her system she would just go back to normal.
Then he starts telling me what she was like when they were together but I stop him. I say we aren’t teenagers anymore and none of this is funny. I tell him I’m done with this and both you and Tom’s wife disgust me.
I leave and block his number. I know I should have done this years ago but I didn’t. I call Tom after I leave and lie. I say I wasn’t able to get any detail. I can’t tell him that his wife just wanted some wild sex. That isn’t something I would want to know. Tom and his wife are a going to go to counseling. If it were me I’d divorce her. The level of disrespect is off the charts but maybe Tom is a better man than me.
My fiancé is happy that I have finally cut off my now former best friend. But I am sad, I hope he gets help someday before he fucks with the wrong guys wife. Thanks for listening.
ORIGINAL POST
https://www.reddit.com/relationships/comments/1cnxakb/my_25m_best_friend_25m_sleeps_with_married_women/
My best friend has a thing for married older women.
Over the years he has had surprising success in this area. It started when he was 18 and slept with a married 30 year old woman with a kid. They were both waiters at a restaurant and after months of flirting she slept with him.
In the 7 years since there have been 12 of them. All married or engaged, with ages ranging from 30 to 52. In the beginning I thought the whole thing was funny but as the years have gone on I have grown disgusted by this behavior.
If we are at a bar and he sees a bachelorette party he is hitting on the bride to be. He coaches his nephews little league team just to meet the moms. He’s had to leave 3 different jobs because he was sleeping with married coworkers and the husbands found out leading to confrontations while he was on the job. The last straw for me was last week. I recently got engaged and my fiancé’s family threw us an engagement party. It wasn’t a surprise so my fiancé and I both invited who we wanted and one of the people I wanted there was one of my former managers at work, let’s call him Tom. I am a CPA at a big firm and Tom was really a mentor to me when I started. He left to work in industry but we kept in touch and are still close. Tom is 40 and just the nicest guy you will ever meet.
So he and his wife (38F) come to our engagement party. I had never met his wife before, she is beautiful by the way. And at one point during the party I see my friend talking to Tom’s wife while Tom took a phone call. I immediately go over and interrupt the conversation and pull my friend aside and tell him to not even think about it. My friend says he wasn’t. Which was bullshit but I thought he took my warning seriously.
I was wrong. A few weeks later Tom calls me and tells me that his wife had been acting strange since the engagement party and he went through her phone and found text messages with another guy. The texts included nudes exchanged on both sides and it was very clear that they had met up for sex. Tom had confronted his wife the night before and of course it was my friend who she’d slept with. Tom was devastated, crying on the phone. He wasn’t even angry he just wanted to know why she did it and was asking me to talk to my friend to get some more details. I called my friend right after I got off the phone with Tom and exploded on him, basically ending our 20 year friendship. It’s been a week and my friend hasn’t stopped apologizing. Other than his despicable behavior with married women he has been a good friend to me. We have been like brothers since kindergarten. It hurts to throw away someone who has been such a big part of your life but I just can’t be party to this anymore. I’m making the right decision, right?
TLDR: My best friend sleeps with married women and I don’t know if I can be friends with him anymore.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DdJxUSevYf0
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A friend of mine started playing Fates for the first time, so once again I got bitten by the “complaining about Fates” bug. In particular, watching chapter 18 of Conquest again after so many years really got me going, and while the general consensus I’ve seen online about this chapters writing was negative, I wasn’t that satisfied by any of the overviews of it I read. I decided to give it a shot myself.
Dissecting why something doesn’t work is fun and all, but I think it’s also important to be constructive which is why I wanted to rewrite this chapter alongside my criticisms. I really do think there’s a lot of potential here that could have been the highlight of the entire story, and so I’d love to try my hand rewriting this chapter to be what it could have been rather than what we got. I have most of it done already, but Reddit only has so many characters before it cuts you off and this post is plenty long enough as is, so I’ll save that for another part coming up soon. This will be part 1, explaining what the chapter is and elaborating on my issues with it, while part 2 will be rewriting it along with my thought process and explanations.
Recap: https://fireemblem.fandom.com/wiki/Black_%26_White/Script
Corrin and Co are traveling when they decide to rest for the night at the nation of Izumo. They are greeted by Izana, the archduke of the kingdom, who seems to be a real goofball. After introducing himself, the levity is ended when it’s revealed the entire Hoshidan family has been invited here as well! Before any swords can be undrawn, Izana tells both parties that the kingdom has a strict neutrality pact neither of them can violate.
The scene cuts to later, where Ryoma enters Corrin and Xanders room to talk with them. Xander and Ryoma’s argument is cut short when Ryoma is dragged off by Nohrians. Turns out “Izana” is actually a Nohrian mage named Zola, who disguised himself to trick the Hoshidan royal family into a trap. Corrin and Xander don’t approve of such dishonorable methods to win, however, and fight to rescue their captives with Xander saying “we’ll win this war with honor or die trying”. After Leo kills Zola, the game cuts to later where we see Nohrians and Hoshidans alike having a meal, much to the delight of the real Izuma, who turns out is exactly as bizarre as the fake impression. Xander and Ryoma confirm with eachother that their fight will continue as usual, but Corrin states that no matter what happens they’re grateful they got to see both families eating together even if it’s not under the best circumstances, and the chapter ends with them saying they’ll revel in this feeling.
So on paper, I think this chapter is a great idea. Despite being at war, when one family is at the total mercy of the other, they lend a hand instead of kicking them while they’re down. This highlights how the two nations could accomplish so much together if only they weren’t at war with eachother. If utilized well, this could have been a great “eye of the tornado scene” emphasizing how tragic it is that these two families who share so much in common are forced by fate to fight eachother, making it all the more sorrowful when that’s brought to it’s conclusion through bloodshed. This would also encourage Conquest players to buy Birthright in a natural and subtle way as well now that they’ve had a nice sample of the other side. Of course, I don’t think this chapter was utilized well, and after reading the script again I believe it boils down to three major problems.
-Problem 1: The Lack of Worldbuilding Causes the Conflict to be Driven by Contrivances.
This is one of the many instances where the lack of fleshing out the world and it’s rules out really hampers the weight of the scenes. Unlike Awakening where there was a general cause-and-effect outlining the level structure, all of the Fates routes are much more individual and self-contained when it comes to chapters. This means the game has to really stretch itself to justify this elaborate setup being brought up and solved in one single chapter of regular length, and it’s very apparent when you write out the summary of events here.
Corrin and his army are just walking by when they happen upon the capital of the country. Corrin decides this would be a great place to rest for the night at and are instantly welcomed by its leader, who is also the only person in the game of that country. The entire Hoshidan family also just happen to bump into us because they coincidently came here at roughly the same time, with somehow neither party noticing the other until they were staring at eachother in the same room.
The only thing we know about this new nation we’ve never seen or heard about before is that it’s a peace-loving land with some sort of neutrality pact which means the two nations can’t fight here. What is the importance of this place that would entice all the Hoshidan royals to come over for a banquet in the middle of their country being invaded? Never explained. What exactly is this pact and what power does Izuno have to enforce it, if any? Never explained. Xander, prince of a nation at war and frontline general, has never heard of it. How does Garon or Iago never figure out or look into what happened here, considering the royals walked through their trap unharmed and everybody in charge of the trap vanished? Never brought up.
How many times here was this supposedly major event dependent on coincidences, seemingly important details left completely unexplained, and characters not knowing things that should be basic information of the world they live in? Things like all this quickly build up and make the world feel small scale and artificial, as if nothing truly exists until it’s in the peripheral vision of main characters. In a vacuum, this could all be excusable if the main meat of the chapter was just so dense and important that they just want a convenient excuse to delve into it. But about that…
-Problem 2: Nothing happens, either character-wise or plot-wise.
This is the only scene in both Birthright and Conquest where all eight of the royal families are together in one spot, and they’re unable to fight eachother. What a brilliant idea! How many great scenes could you come up with from this setup alone? How many directions could this move towards?

-The families bonding over their memories with Corrin (X)
-Calling eachother out for uncool actions, like Ryoma refusing to help Elise or Nohr siccing monsters on farming villages (X)
-Working together to defeat some threat they’d have trouble taking down on their own (X)
-Some cultural exchange (X)
-Some melancholy scene where, even if there’s a lot of resentment, they acknowledge how this may be the last time they ever get to have a meal with Corrin. (Somewhat?)
-Corrin sits down and has a mature conversation with his birth family elaborating on their choice to stay with Nohr (X)
-Some negotiation or debate between the two families about the future of their countries relationship, successful or not (X)
-Corrin being formally declared by the Hoshidan royals as a Nohrian, officially cutting them out of the family (X)

So what does Conquest do with this prompt? It does the unexpected route where all of them but Ryoma are shuffled out as soon as they’re introduced, captured offscreen, rescued offscreen, most of their dinner is offscreen, finishing their meal and leaving is offscreen, all of them sans Ryoma have barely any dialog, and none of them are even present in any of the CG’s.
We actually start off strong, Ryoma and Xander naturally puff out their chest and don’t get along when they’re in the same room, but seem to calm down when Corrin elaborates on how similar they are to eachother. But the game is so eager to get to fighting that it drags Ryoma away kicking and screaming before he even gets to share what he had to say to Corrin, let alone explore what having common ground means to the two of them.
1) I understand this is the Nohrian route so it makes sense the focus is mostly on them, but Takumi only gets three lines here, one of which is “…” Hinoka also only gets three lines, which I think is still more than she got in Birthright, and two of those lines are “You!” and “What are you doing here?”. Sakura lucks out as she’s the only sibling on either side who has anything to say whatsoever when Corrin says they’re grateful they could share another meal with the Hoshidans. That’s a start, but the fact remains Ryoma is the only sibling in the chapter whose remotely relevant, the rest could be omitted and nothing would change. They are only here to be damsels in distress heightening the stakes of defeating the local bad guy rather than providing any character development, checking up on how they are doing without Corrin and Azura, comparing and contrasting their differences between their counterparts, sharing any new information about them, foreshadowing Takumi’s possession, any notable interactions with their counterparts, etc. But no, nothing happens.
2) I also understand this is a video game and they don’t have all the time in the world before the next fight has to happen, yet Conquest is oddly completely uninterested in it’s own set-up. Zola, a minor chapter boss introduced and killed in this chapter, has more screentime and relevance here than any of the siblings, something you’d think would be the actual meat of the chapter they’d want to delve into.
The implications and weight of two dueling nations and families obligated to pause their fighting and dine with eachother could easily take up two or even three chapters as a pivotal arc, yet it’s completely blazed through as if the game considered it a cute novelty rather than a potential life-changing or history-changing moment. Simply put, it’s wasted potential, as if to say “Oh both of the two families meeting in a game about choosing between mutually exclusive families? Eh whatever.”
I wanna stick with just this chapter and not rewrite a good chunk of the entire story, but I can’t stress enough that in any other game this chapter would be the plot-defining moment paving the new way forward rather than chapter 15’s “we’ll expose Garon as a monster by helping him invade an innocent people.”
Neither of the two families are fighting because they outright want to, this isn’t a war about irreconcilable differences or mutually exclusive goals, the only reason for any conflict whatsoever as far as the game has shown us is that the guy in charge of Nohr is a sociopath who threatens to kill his own children at the drop of a hat. Sure, they probably won’t hold hands singing kumbaya after one extended conversation with eachother, but when all of them are in a truce far away from Garon’s authority having a meal together, nothing significant comes out of it plot-wise?
In fact, at the end of the day what significance happened here at all?

• -We learned about a new country, but we know very little about it and (other than Izama potentially joining the party later) absolutely none of it will be relevant after this chapter anyways.
• -Well, maybe this place is just set dressing so we have an excuse to meet up with our siblings again, but then nobody has any meaningful interactions, new info to share, planning ahead, or character development resulting from sharing scenes with them.
• -Then is the primary focus supposed to be on how this situation affects the Nohrian family? The antagonist and the conflict he brings is introduced and quickly solved without any consequences, with all the siblings instantly in agreement about stopping him. They don’t really talk amongst eachother about their feelings or how to go forward.

If there’s no juicy character interactions or exploration, and no setting up future events, then presumably the point of this big moment of Corrin and Xander leaping to save their enemies was made to show off that despite working in the same army, our heroes are indeed better than the swarms of war criminals under Nohr’s name we’ve seen and would never tolerate such things under normal circumstances. They’ve talked the talk about disagreeing with their father’s cruel methods, now here’s proof they’ll walk the walk, aren’t they such noble people? The way this is done however, opens up another can of worms…
-Problem 3: Protags come off as dicks
While our heroes are indeed more likeable and moral than blatant monsters like Garon and Hans, liking peace and disliking war crimes is not enough of a reason for a pat on the back. Our protags might not be burning villages for fun, but it’s difficult to take their proclaimed goal of peace seriously considering both the context of working for people who DO burn villages for fun and they way they handle themselves when presented with an opportunity to work on this supposed goal.
Corrin and Azura

• This is not seeing things under the worst possible interpretation to be a stick in the mud, Nohr is indeed invading Hoshido for no apparent reason and leaving war crimes wherever it’s armies go. Everybody in the building is aware of this to some extent.
  
• Azura and Corrin’s grand plan to expose Garon as a slime monster to his family indeed involves directly helping Garon conquer Hoshido, which they acknowledge will bring destruction and suffering that the nation and royal family have done nothing to deserve.
  
• Corrin and Azura are indeed presented with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity here to sit down behind closed doors and communicate anything, just anything significant at all, to the royal family that still seems to value them, but our heroes don’t even try or seem to acknowledge that. Corrin doesn’t have any interactions with them that last more than a sentence or two, and Azura is never acknowledged nor speaks to them.
  
• And yet despite, all this, both Corrin and Azura are quite pleased with the turn of events here, with Corrin acknowledging they’ll “probably try to kill eachother next time they see eachother” but that they’ll “revel in this feeling.”
  

Azura in particular is problematic here. During Odovakar 's excellent overview of the problems with Fates writing, he goes into detail about how Azura’s line about “this is all quite heartwarming. We're like one big family...albeit, a dysfunctional one.” in particular comes off as incredibly tone deaf and tasteless given the circumstances of Azura and Corrin marching on one family’s homeland for the sake of the other family. What I think was also worth noting is the context leading up to that line…

Sakura: I was just, um...th-thinking...it's really nice to finally see you again. I'm glad you... I'm glad you f-found a way to be happy... Corrin: Sakura... I'm happy to see you too. Sakura: R-really? You mean it?! Oh, Corrin! Elise: HMPH! Back off, you! He/She's my brothesister! MINE! Sakura: Ah! I'm s-sorry! Corrin: Elise! Mind your manners, little one. Elise: But she's trying to take you away from me... She's my archnemesis

Whether intentional or not, this is actually a very clever microcosm of the family’s conflict acted out by the youngest and most innocent among them who probably weren’t even born when the conflict started. The Hoshidan loves their sibling, but their time with Corrin is interrupted by the Nohrian shoving them away and declaring Corrin for themselves. This is a great way to challenge our protags to some introspection about themselves.

Azura: Heehee! Corrin: Azura? Did you just...giggle?

Instead, Azura just finds this a real knee-slapper. I understand maybe this is just meant to be a cute image of imoutos fighting over oni-chan Corrin and nothing more, but the context makes it very hard to swallow the narrative’s insistence that all this is “heartwarming” as Azura puts it. Keep in mind that all the Hoshidan nobles are sitting at the same table watching all this. Do you think Ryoma also finds it funny that his little sister is scared off and declared an archnemesis by the daughter of the man who killed his father in cold blood? Do you think Hinoka also thinks it's like one big dysfunctional family when Corrin is preparing to march on her homeland with an army?
I get it, I totally know what they were going for, and in a vacuum it could be a great line making for a properly bittersweet moment. “Even if the two are at eachothers throats and the future is bleak, me and Azura are grateful we get to have at least one big normal dinner together like a real family.”
But the future is bleak because of Corrin and Azura participating in an invasion, the families are at eachothers throats partially because Corrin and Azura haven’t accomplished anything to reform Nohr. If anything, Corrin should feel great shame here. Elise just unintentionally reenacted the history between the nations where Nohr was clearly in the wrong, and Corrin is sitting directly across and staring at the family who’ve done nothing wrong to him yet are going to be hurt because of Corrin’s decision. Grateful they could spend time with them again? Maybe. But cheerful and laughing?

ProZD: D-did an alien write this game? blows gently

But at least Corrin doesn’t show outright contempt for the family they’re screwing over…
Xander and Leo

Xander: Corrin! There's no need to insult me like that. I could not possibly be anything like this sorry excuse for a prince. … Xander: We will win with honor or die trying. Come, Corrin. Let us go set free our sworn enemy. … Corrin: Heh, sorry... It's just that you and Ryoma really are so much alike. If you weren't on opposite sides of a war, I think you could have been great friends. Xander: Yeesh... Do me a favor and keep that nonsense in your head where it belongs. … Xander (to Ryoma): We only acted as Nohrian royals should. When we leave this place, you'll be nothing but an enemy to be defeated once more.

Okay, but why? Ryoma is not the one Xander overheard laughing to himself about how much he’s going to make Corrin suffer. How are the Hoshidan royals “nothing but enemies to be defeated” here when they’re just trying to defend their homeland from somebody who assassinated their king at a peace meeting? Where is all this contempt from Xander coming from?
It’s perfectly understandable he doesn’t get along super well with Ryoma because of the tensions between their nations, that makes sense, but I see no reason for why Xander is making several petty insults to his face unprompted, let alone so nonchalant and even somewhat eager to get back to waging a war Xander himself calls “a senseless war of greed and madness” in the epilogue.
He doesn’t treat his own people much better this chapter, declaring Zola and his henchmen as “traitors” to be “dealt with” for their dishonorable methods when ironically Zola taking over the country by disguising himself as the archduke is actually one of the least evil and self-destructive things we’ve seen the kingdom do so far. It must be emphasized that every sibling was in the same room watching Garon demand Xander kill Corrin if he interferes with killing POWs for his amusement, and half of them were in the same room when Garon ordered his henchmen to murder every singer they can find in a neutral country. So a few hundred or thousand innocent people, most of whom would presumably be young woman, murdered to snuff out potential assassins. Or Garon directly ordering the deaths of unarmed civilians in chapter 13 with Hans relaying “Villagers are just soldiers who haven’t picked up a sword yet.”
Xander talks a big game in this chapter about how “we’ll win this war with honor or die trying”, but how do you honorably win a war when your nation is constantly and openly rushing to pointless overkill brutality like this at every turn? What moral high ground does this country have that Xander is so determined to preserve he kills loyal soldiers over what he sees as sullying it, when at no point in the game does the influence of Nohr ever do anything but make life significantly worse? His sudden fervor towards doing the right thing is completely contrasted later on when Xander is the one telling Corrin there’s no justice to be found in war and you just gotta do what you gotta do rather than what’s morally right, in response to Corrin being upset the Nohrian army is killing woman and children who looked at them funny.

“Justice is an illusion, a fairy tale…Letting innocents die is a tragedy, but so is letting the chance for peace slip away. This is war. There is no such thing as a clean win when lives are on the line.”

“Justice is just a fairy tale, innocent people getting screwed over is something we have to accept in war because there’s no such thing as a clean win! But also we better win this senseless war of greed and madness with honor or die trying!”

• If “justice is an illusion”, how is killing Nohrian soldiers to free people who are apparently “nothing but enemies to be defeated” so you can fight them later on terms you prefer, directly prolonging a war which will lead to much more deaths on both sides, for the benefit of Nohr? By Xanders own logic, is this not letting the chance for peace slip away since there’s no such thing as a clean win? Forget Garon and Iago, I’m confident the citizens back home whose loved ones got conscripted would be the ones demanding his head if they found out about this. A very charitable interpretation is that ending the war this specific way will cause more chaos and fighting in the long-term compared to if they conquered and oppressed an innocent nation fair and square, but that’s nowhere to be found in the script whatsoever.
  
• If Xander believes in “We’ll win this war with honor or die trying”, why is he still following Garon? Garon is winning the war in part thanks to honorless and extreme acts of cruelty like blackmailing the Ice Tribe or making an example out of Scarlet’s body, yet instead of taking action against him like he does with Zola, Xander is instead the most loyal sibling to him to the point Corrin decides the best way to get him on his side is to expose Garon as a literal slime monster? Where’s Xander’s zeal of “Come Corrin, let’s go save our sworn enemies” when his father orders Hans is go through killing injured and surrendering foes who were promised they be spared? Where’s his conviction shown here about “not letting treachery go unpunished” when his father outright says he couldn’t care less about the welfare of his people and he’ll just kill anybody who complains to make an example?
  

I understand one might get the impression I’m going off topic or selectively picking and choosing quotes here from all over the game, but no matter how you look at it Xanders beliefs, morality, and priorities are just all over the place depending on what the plot needs him to do. This means not only is his motivation for helping his enemies here faulty no matter how you look at it, but it also makes the extreme lengths he goes to do so, killing his own subjects who won him victory on a silver platter because it wasn’t a “proper” victory, come off as baselessly self-righteous at best and outright cruel at worst.
I’m sure the game would assure us Zola and all his mooks are terrible people who had it coming, but the issue is no matter how virtuous you portray Xander and creepy you portray Zola, Xander is still directly managing the war for a megalomaniac and helping him achieve his goals in spite of his long history of open sadism and public crimes that make Zola look like a saint. By ignoring the clear root cause of Nohr's dishonor while going this hard against random goon's participating in dishonor, instead of being a gallant preserver of morals, he comes off like a bully who selectively picks and choices punishment.
On the topic of punishment, it particularly rubs me the wrong way how Leo just casually mercs Zola at the end, keep in mind Birthright confirms for all his faults he actually isn’t a complete monster like Garon and dies trying to help the protag.

Leo (smiling portrait): You’d probably rather die than live with the shame, correct? In that case…
Zola: Eek! No, please! M-m-milord... I was wrong! S-so wrong! I have seen the error of my ways! P-please...spare my unworthy life!!
Leo (still smiling): Make peace with it, Zola. Perhaps on the other side you will find forgiveness.

Leo makes a fair argument that the stakes are too high and Zola can’t be trusted not to snitch, but this is bit sadistic, no? One of the most powerful people in the country is smug and sarcastic as he’s getting ready to execute somebody whose bleeding on the ground begging for his life and genuinely confused as to why we’re upset with him. I know the intent of “I was wrong! I have the seen the error of my ways!” is supposed to be him saying whatever Leo wants to hear to weasel out of punishment, but that’s exactly the thing, he’s fully cooperating and doing everything he can to appease this guy. And then he’s just killed like a dog without trial or final words, presumably using the spell that skewers you with tree branches.
Didn’t the game use killing defeated foes like this to establish Garon as a bloodthirsty monster? Why is Corrin just standing there watching this happen? This exact same scenario in Birthright has them jump to spare Zola, but here their disapproval is very meek and only voiced after the deed is already done. It’s still apparently too much for Leo though, who chastises Corrin for being “too soft…I envy your innocence.” And then he declares the matter settled on their behalf.
I’m sure this scene was meant to show off Leo’s pragmatism and strategy skills, but it just makes him look like a sociopath and Corrin look spineless. And that’s the biggest issue with this chapter to me, more than the plot being driven by contrivances that aren’t explained or the lack of any character development or interesting scenes taking advantage of the setup, the actions and dialog of our protags don’t match the noble heroes the narrative insists they are:

• Corrin is openly enjoying spending time with innocent people they’re throwing under the bus so Corrin won’t have to risk their relationship with the Nohrian siblings by directly fighting Garon. They then clearly disapprove of Leo executing a surrendering foe begging for mercy but stand idle watching it happen.
• Azura sits directly across her former family who’ve been very negatively impacted by her decisions and actions, and will continue to be so in the future, yet she’s giggling about the conflict and doesn’t seem to be taking the fact that her two families might kill each other seriously.
• Xander insults Ryoma as a sorry excuse for a prince, and afterwards kills his own subjects to prolong a war of aggression so it can be won the way he personally wants it to be won.
• Leo seems to be having a good time killing somebody who’s surrendered and begging for his life. He then chides Corrin for being “too soft” when they wish that didn’t have to happen.
• And again, for no apparent reason, neither Corrin or Azura do the bare minimum to clue to the Hoshidans about what’s going on or even have a meaningful conversation with them despite claiming to care for them. This is the golden opportunity they were hoping for, yet they apparently spend the entire dinner instead talking to eachother about how happy they themselves are.

These are not the actions of heroic characters.
Summary: Overall, this is a very bizarre chapter. It feels like something meaningful happens here at first glance, your brain sees what’s going on and knows that this is supposed to be a huge moment. Peaceful music playing, a very well-drawn CG of dozens of individual units, liberating a country from Nohrian control, Corrin and Azura are happy and say some lines that sound like they should be deep and impactful.
But when you step back and analyze the bigger picture and context, you find that more or less embodies all of Fates writing, both good and bad. It has a brilliant premise that gets your mind going, excellent presentation to accompany it, and some individual scenes or dialogue in a vacuum are very welcome. If you’re a casual player who just wants context for your favorite characters fighting, it’s easy to feel satisfied at first glance and move on thanks to those factors, especially since the gameplay and MyCastle are very fun. At the same time, there’s no denying the severe flaws that hamper the experience.
Despite being the hyped-up main draw of the chapter, our exciting premise that opens so many doors is almost completely neglected in favor of (once again) exposition on meaningless settings and characters that aren’t relevant anywhere else and also reminding us how evil Nohr is, to the point the chapter title is Black and White. The context makes it very difficult to take the plight of our heroes seriously due to their lack of action (both before and in the present) to achieve their proclaimed goal despite ample opportunity, the proaction they do have being unnecessarily extreme and self-serving, and a narrative that insists they are in the right at every turn despite the results clearly showing us otherwise. There’s definitely bits and pieces of something great buried in all this teasing us, otherwise I wouldn’t be interested enough to write this much all these years later, but as is it’s just a mess. An enjoyable mess, but a mess all the same.

But what do you guys think of Conquest Chapter 18: Black and White? Do you also consider it a wreck, or was there something positive here you believed I missed? What would you like to see in a potential rewrite of it?

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