Okay, so I’m honestly embarrassed to type this up, but since I’m incapable of going to therapy to talk through this… hello, reddit, please be gentle, haha.
I’m 26 and am young in my paganism journey (devoted myself to Anubis at the very end of July/beginning of August last year) and even younger in my witchcraft journey (around December I believe I started). I was raised fundie Christian with a strong, crippling fear of hell, death, demon possession, the devil, all of those boogeymen. Hated being in the dark because that’s where all the bad is. For about a year or so after deconstructing, I was agnostic and lost basically all belief in ghosts, spirits, insert term for invisible things lurking around with bad intentions. Maybe I’d get jittery or jumpy if I watched a scary movie or played a video game with scary fantastical elements, but nothing major.
Now I’ve gotten into witchcraft. Primarily just shower magic and positive-type practices for self-image and improvement. Through this, though, my mind’s been reopened to the idea of unseen forces, and my paganism view in general is that there’s truth/reality to all of the beliefs even if I don’t personally practice them. And now… I’m borderline terrified when I’m alone at night or trying to fall asleep. So worried that something evil/dark is going to appear or try to get me, is going to try to speak to me without a visual, will appear when my eyes are closed, etc. I’m so afraid to look outside at night and dread looking into a mirror when it’s dim or dark.
All of this is to say, without having access to therapy I don’t know what to do to free myself from this. I’m literally rarely able to fall asleep before it starts getting daylight, and I’m the type of person who never grew out of a nightlight (my mom was paranoid over being robbed, mugged, attacked, broken into, etc. and it’s bled into me) so it’s not like it’s even pitch black… but still. This happens at home, recently in the multiple hotel rooms I stayed in over a week long vacation, outside, at the barn when I’m alone (I have a horse lol)… Yeah. So… suggestions? Tips? Say a prayer for me? Praying to my gods and goddesses hasn’t really had an effect. I haven’t tried a spell because I’m honestly too afraid of it backfiring. I can’t burn sage or do a cleansing ritual because I’m in the broom closet.

Okay, so I’m honestly embarrassed to type this up, but since I’m incapable of going to therapy to talk through this… hello, reddit, please be gentle, haha.
I’m 26 and am young in my paganism journey (devoted myself to Anubis at the very end of July/beginning of August last year) and even younger in my witchcraft journey (around December I believe I started). I was raised fundie Christian with a strong, crippling fear of hell, death, demon possession, the devil, all of those boogeymen. Hated being in the dark because that’s where all the bad is. For about a year or so after deconstructing, I was agnostic and lost basically all belief in ghosts, spirits, insert term for invisible things lurking around with bad intentions. Maybe I’d get jittery or jumpy if I watched a scary movie or played a video game with scary fantastical elements, but nothing major.
Now I’ve gotten into witchcraft. Primarily just shower magic and positive-type practices for self-image and improvement. Through this, though, my mind’s been reopened to the idea of unseen forces, and my paganism view in general is that there’s truth/reality to all of the beliefs even if I don’t personally practice them. And now… I’m borderline terrified when I’m alone at night or trying to fall asleep. So worried that something evil/dark is going to appear or try to get me, is going to try to speak to me without a visual, will appear when my eyes are closed, etc. I’m so afraid to look outside at night and dread looking into a mirror when it’s dim or dark.
All of this is to say, without having access to therapy I don’t know what to do to free myself from this. I’m literally rarely able to fall asleep before it starts getting daylight, and I’m the type of person who never grew out of a nightlight (my mom was paranoid over being robbed, mugged, attacked, broken into, etc. and it’s bled into me) so it’s not like it’s even pitch black… but still. This happens at home, recently in the multiple hotel rooms I stayed in over a week long vacation, outside, at the barn when I’m alone (I have a horse lol)… Yeah. So… suggestions? Tips? Say a prayer for me? Praying to my gods and goddesses hasn’t really had an effect. I haven’t tried a spell because I’m honestly too afraid of it backfiring. I can’t burn sage or do a cleansing ritual because I’m in the broom closet.

I’m a little nervous because, though I am deeply infatuated with the idea of a relationship, I have never dated… anyone really. I’m not so much looking for a teacher, but a partner, in life, love, and a lot of trips to the sea - as that’s one of my most beloved special interests. An open field only occupied by pretty flowers! Maybe!
I’m a fit black/Chinese young woman with pretty eyes that can and will stare at you like a puppy dog. I travel a lot for work, but I'm currently in England. I like treats - as well as baking them for my loved ones. I have no kidding given a large supply of cake to my family for months straight. Only after realising what I have done! made them fat.
I live for having fun, but also being straightforward, adoring the small things - like literally, fawning over a tiny bug creature who scurries. I like to find wonder in simplicity.
Pictures are achieved after a good getting along conversation. Otherwise I'd feel like we’re doing a meat inspection, clipboard in hand. I don't think looks-wise I'm anything extraordinary, but I'll offer a small description to filter out those who aren’t into it :•) I have brown skin, black eyes, hip length wavy brown hair. I’m fit, but not athletic and don’t like the gym. But I do competitive swimming, like running outside with dogs, and climbing things.
Sometimes people get confused by my intentions with these posts: I am clearly stating I want to preferably find a life long romantic partner. No games. Just the potential for marriage. I'm pretty sure of what I want, and I'd like that in a partner too.

I'm sorry girl. What's up with that hair. Who told you this was the move. Get that off of your face, you can't even see out of one eye. You're telling me Kith S'jet can build all that shit, but not a hair clip? Come on.
I know people have a lot of thoughts about the game, but this is what stands out to me.

The article is intended primarily for Game Masters who play games in settings inspired by Lovecraft’s works. However, I hope that other fans of cosmic horror will also find something for themselves here. The interesting facts presented here may also be entertaining for people who do not know the work of The Loner of Providence, but some of the references may be unclear to them. The article contains several anecdotes – either from real history or from beliefs that exist in the real world, and suggestions on how they can be related to the Cthulhu mythology. So read about:

• Sea Peoples, bane of ancient civilizations,
• a forgotten Eldritch abomination from Greek mythology,
• Jan Twardowski, the first man on the Moon,
• mathematicians and physicists who wanted to know the structure of reality and lost their minds,
• one of the most mysterious characters from the Bible and a dark, occult ritual that underlies monotheism.

Invasion of the Sea Peoples
Ancient, super-advanced, fallen civilizations are one of the favorite motifs of fantasy. And truth be told, something similar happened in real history. Of course, in reality, the fallen civilizations did not have sci-fi supertechnology at their disposal, but their collapse still led to great destabilization. We are talking about the invasion of the so-called Sea Peoples, which took place at the turn of the 13th and 12th centuries BC. The Sea Peoples are mobile and warlike groups of people of unknown origin. They caused the collapse of several advanced cultures, including: Mycenaean and Hittite. Only the Egyptians managed to defeat them in a great battle. Well, the material for Lovecraftian inspiration is obvious. A mysterious army, coming out of nowhere, called the „Sea Peoples”, leading to the fall of the most powerful human civilizations at that time? Let us add that, according to some historians, the descendants of the Sea Peoples destroyed by the Egyptians were the Philistines. Yes, the same Philistines, one of whose main deities was the well-known Dagon to Lovecraftomaniacs… Deep Ones say hello. Let us also add that, according to Egyptian records, the tribes of the Sea Peoples had names such as Ekvesh, Teresh, Lucki, Sherden, Shekelesh, Tekel and Peleset. Sounds suitably dark, blasphemous and filthy? If we want to dig deeper, one of the pharaohs who ruled Egypt was Akhenaten – yes, that heretic who tried to replace the worship of traditional Egyptian gods with the religion of the Aten and who is very much liked by conspiracy theorists. Let’s add to the mix that Middle Eastern cultures had quite a negative attitude towards the sea as such. Babylonian Marduk had to defeat the giant monsters of Chaos – Apsu and Tiamat, personifications of fresh and salt waters, respectively. The Bible also contains traces of the myth about the fight between Yahweh and Leviathan, and the Book of Revelation, describing the new, ideal world, emphasizes that „I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more.” Let’s assume that the players are researchers of an antiquity – historians, archaeologists, etc. They conduct research on the Sea Peoples. Of course, as common sense dictates, they assume that these were human warriors. However, as time goes on, more and more evidence appears that they were not completely human again, and the evidence of their monstrosity becomes increasingly difficult to put down to the demonization that Egyptian chroniclers used against their enemies… It becomes clear that an onslaught of inhuman and semi-human monsters came from the sea. , trying to conquer the world of that time. Moreover, after their defeat at the hands of the Egyptians, this species did not become extinct, but instead of open conquest it switched to cautious infiltration. Perhaps the Deep Ones have spies in academia who are tasked with eliminating historians who find the trail of truth…
Oh, one more interesting fact connecting the history of the Sea Peoples with Lovecraft. Well, as we know, HPL liked to use the term „Cyclopean” for huge, monumental buildings. At least he didn’t come up with it himself. Well, when the later (and at first more primitive) inhabitants, the Dorians, saw the ruins of destroyed castles left by the Mycenaean culture, they came to the conclusion that such huge buildings could not have been built by human hands, so they were probably the work of mythical giants – cyclopes.
Typhon – a classic but forgotten abomination
Modern works drawing on Greek mythology usually make Hades (completely senseless) or Kronos (a little more) the Big Bad, but they forget about Zeus’s greatest enemy – Typhon. After defeating the titans and then the gigants, the Olympian gods had to face the main boss on the way to dominating the world – Typhon. Here is an example of its description: It was larger than the largest mountains, its head touched the stars. When he stretched out his hands, one reached the eastern ends of the world and the other reached the western ends. Instead of fingers, he had a hundred dragon heads. From the waist down he had a tangle of vipers (yay, tentacles!) and wings at his shoulders. His eyes were shooting out flames. In other versions of the myth, Typhon was a flying, hundred-headed dragon. In any case – appearance and stature worthy of the Great Old One. Typhon attacked Olympus, and all the gods except Zeus fled in panic. The supreme god took up the fight… and lost it. Only in the second duel did he manage to defeat Typhon, but not kill him – he only imprisoned him, hitting him with Etna. In the sense of a mountain. A volcano – and volcanic activity is the result of Typhon’s anger, trying to break free. Typhon equaled the lord of heaven not only in strength, but in fertility. His wife was Echidna, about whom Hesiod wrote: „She also gave birth to another creature, invincible, huge, unlike neither men nor immortal gods, in a hollow cave – the divine violent Echidna, half a sharp-eyed young girl, with beautiful cheeks, half a huge snake, a great and powerful, spotted, cruel – in the depths of the holy land. This pair spawned many, if not most, of the monsters found in Greek mythology. Their offspring were very diverse and strange, as befits the spawn of enemies of the divine order, including: – Ladon, the hundred-headed dragon who never slept and guarded the apples that gave immortality, – Cerberus – we all know the dog guarding the gates of hell… but not all of us know that, according to some accounts, it had not three heads, but as many as 50, it was also covered with scales, and it had a snake by its tail… so what does this have to do with a dog? – Scylla – this lady inherited the most from the human, beautiful part of Echidna… at least initially, but eventually, as a result of various perturbations, she turned from a beautiful nymph to her siblings, becoming a six-headed sea beast, so hideous, according to Homer, that even the gods could not stand sight of her – she dwelt in a cave, from where she opened her mouth to devour the crews of ships, – Gorgons – I mean, those ladies with snake hair, not monstrous bulls. Medusa was one of them – the story that Athena turned her priestess into a monster as punishment for being raped by Poseidon is an invention of later poets, – Lernaean Hydra – a multi-headed monster with many reptilian or human heads. In place of each severed head, two others grew, and in addition, the main head was completely immortal – therefore, after chopping off the mortal heads, Heracles had to burn the stumps and bury the immortal, still hissing head underground. Hydra’s breath was poisonous. – various other creatures, such as the Sphinx, the dog Ortus, the Nemean Lion or the Chimera. Each of these descendants has the potential to be portrayed as an Eldritch abomination in its own right. To be precise – according to some accounts, the father of these creatures (and Echidna herself) was Typhon, but a monstrous, ancient (older than Poseidon) sea god, Phorcys. How to use Typhon? Well, Typhon clearly has the potential to be a Great Old One, imprisoned by… Nodens? Some other Elder God? Weak gods of humanity? Maybe his cult is trying to free him from Etna? What if he succeeds? What might distinguish Typhon from many other Great Old Ones? I would recommend focusing on his monster progenitor aspect – if he manages to reunite with Echidna, they will immediately start spawning various blasphemous beasts in series.
Jan Twardowski – the first man on the Moon
Jan (John) Twardowski, the hero of the legend, a Polish nobleman who allegedly sold his soul to the devil and became a sorcerer. Probably a historical figure, according to legend he lived in the 16th century and became famous for summoning the spirit of the deceased queen for King Sigismund Augustus. The ghost allegedly appeared in the mirror. This mirror is still kept in the church in Węgrów. According to legend, when the terms of the pact were fulfilled, devils came to kidnap Twardowski to hell. Interestingly, instead of taking the sorcerer’s soul after death, the most material demons appeared and grabbed Twardowski in order to kidnap him bodily, alive… and instead of heading towards the underground, which in legends is considered the traditional place of residence of demons and damned souls, they began to carry away up with him. At some point, Twardowski started singing religious songs, which caused the demons to escape, leaving him on the Moon, where he is said to have stayed ever since. Could the “demons” actually be extraterrestrials? Maybe mi-go? Maybe Twardowski was their agent and obtained secret knowledge and technology from them that gave him the fame of a sorcerer? As part of his studies, did he acquire knowledge of a system of sounds („religious songs”) that was able to drive away his masters when they decided that his usefulness on Earth had ended and it was time to transport him to a space base where he would be transformed into a brain in jar? Or was transportation to the Moon part of the deal from the beginning? Oh, one more interesting fact – according to legends, Twardowski used to use a rooster as a horse, which he enlarged with his magic. It’s easy to imagine an abomination that, in the eyes of laymen, might have resembled a large rooster… Examples of scenario hooks: – Twardowski’s secret mirror is still in the church in Węgrów. The local priest thinks it is just other „pagan” superstitions, but in fact it is a tool enabling contact with cosmic beings and higher realities. It may prove useful to players if they convince the priest to give it back or simply steal it. – Players are looking for Twardowski’s notes to gain knowledge about the „song” thanks to which he drove away mi-go (or other creatures that became the prototype of the „devils” from the legend). The so-called Twardowski’s „School” or „Cathedral” was located in a quarry near Kraków. In fact, at the end of the 19th century, during the construction of the church of St. Józef, a cave showing traces of alchemical experiments was discovered… And it was destroyed. But perhaps there is a second, secret laboratory under the cave that escaped destruction? And there lie Twardowski’s secrets… And again, potential obstacles may be placed by the local parish priest. But not only him. Maybe Twardowski’s legendary „rooster” lies dormant in the laboratory and was left by the sorcerer as a guard? – players are astronauts on the Moon. However, it turns out that someone lives here, someone who was not detected by previous expeditions and probes. Will Twardowski prove to be an ally in the fight against cosmic horrors? Or maybe their agent, or an independent villain? If he survived this long on the Moon thanks to blasphemous secrets, it’s possible that he had little humanity left…
The rest of the text is avalaible (of course, for free) here: https://adeptusrpg.wordpress.com/2024/05/13/some-lovecraftian-inspiration-form-real-life-and-beliefs/

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DdJxUSevYf0
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I get frustrated with genius annotations, especially re: Vampire Weekend's discography. While I was reading through some of the lyrics last night, it struck me how surface level many of the associations are on the lyric page for "Ice Cream Piano," which is a shame for such a thematically rich song.
That said, I decided to take a stab at dissecting the song as a whole, while tying some of the more obscure references with themes in the larger project.

Verse 1

"Fuck the world," /you/ said it quiet No one could hear you, no one but /me/ "Cynical, you can't deny it" 

Ezra seems to be describing a conversation between "himself" and "his partner" reacting to an unspecified issue. "She" reacted to something, and "he" criticizes that reaction. However, there is some ambiguity regarding who exactly is saying the last line; is it the singer himself, or is he quoting her as he did the opening line?
This ambiguity is a carried theme throughout the rest of the song, and as the lyrics continue, which side is throwing out accusations becomes less relevant. The implied goal of these first lines is to frame the rest of the song as an argument between two individuals, and to show the sneaky ways in which their conflicting viewpoints mirror each other.
I think it's important to mention here that, ahead of "Father of the Bride," Ezra spoke about wanting to move away from the more impressionistic style present in earlier Vampire Weekend records and experiment in writing lyrics where the general theme of the song can be understood in the first few lines. Furthermore, during the Zane Low release interview for "Only God Was Above Us," Ezra dove deep into the track listing process, stating he knew early on that "Ice Cream Piano" needed to be the opening track.
Knowing these two facts, these deceptively unassuming lines in fact carry a significant weight. Where the high-level reading describes a conflict between two individuals, the deeper understanding is that they each represent a conflicting philosophy or idea -- a conflict that will serve as the central thematic core for the album as a whole.

"You don't want to win this war 'cause you don't want the peace Armistice, /we/ never tried it *You're* the soldier, *I'm* police Listen, baby, we can't deny it You don't want to win this war 'cause you don't want the peace" 

As this section of the song is accompanied by a second vocal track, we can assume these lines as sung to each other, implying that their only point of agreement is the recognition of the other's uncompromising nature.
Armistice, simply stopping conflict, is so beyond an option because they're hypocrites -- criticizing the other based on one's subjective position. In her eyes, he's the soldier; in his, police. In this metaphor, one serves as the agitator and the other as defender.

Verse 2

The word was weaponized as soon as it had passed your lips 

The "word" here seems to be either war or peace. But with either it's a loaded offer because, as implied earlier, they're not engaging with the other's viewpoint in good faith and, as such, their criticisms are unfounded. His distaste towards cynicism and her more myopically aligned viewpoint sit diametrically opposed. Their definition of peace is incompatible. As the music builds, it seems to come in conflict with Ezra's vocals; he's nearly shouting as they climb and create a barrage of competing sounds.

I am a gentleman, I refuse to show my gentleness Fuck around and find out, the angry child recites this every day The universe will pry out, the truth which is you've got nothin' to say 

What's interesting about this verse is that, on first reading, the beginning of each statement seems to support the last -- as if said by the same person. However, on closer inspection it seems as though the following mocks the prior; "I am a gentleman, I refuse to show my gentleness" is clearly self contradictory -- as are the other two when read as single statements.
When split at their conflicting point as "I am a gentleman," and separately, "I refuse to show my gentleness," it continues to follow the theme set in Verse 1 of a conversation between two individuals. So, the verse can be read as:

I am a gentleman, I refuse to show my gentleness Fuck around and find out, the angry child recites this every day The universe will pry out, the truth which is you've got nothin' to say 

When one side says something, the other interrupts and mocks that statement. This pattern can be observed in the following two lines. However, by choosing to frame both the initial statement and its contradiction in the first person, Ezra is able to explore the narcissism present in the respective ideologies of the two individuals. They cannot see past their own egos to agree with the other, because the criticisms levied by one are exactly those which the other is accusing them of. As the verse continues, this rising tension and anger becomes more pointed and prevents either side from finishing a complete statement, the screams of one silence the other; and as they are both screaming, neither is saying anything of import.

Fuck around and find out, the angry child recites this every day 

Following this, the second line is a slightly more direct accusation, presumably in the third person.

The universe will pry out, the truth which is you've got nothin' to say 

The final line is a direct accusation, and the only of the three in second person.
It becomes clear here that Ezra seems to be less interested in the specific opposing ideas and more in the conflict between the two, and the dissonance between that conflict and each of the participant's apparent similarities. The words each one says are weaponized before they are even uttered, demolishing any chance for good faith discussion.

Chorus

In dreams, I scream piano, I softly reach the high note The world don't recognize a singer who won't sing 

There are a couple bits of wordplay happening here, outside of the dream imagery.
The first, and most obvious, is the phrasing of "Ice Cream Piano" in the title and "I Scream Piano" in the verse; pointing back to the song's overarching metaphor, "Ice Cream Piano" and "I Scream Piano" are simple homophones, which is to say they are two different ideas that are saying the same thing.
The second bit of wordplay is the actual usage of "I scream piano." Ezra is purposefully employing the Italian-rooted musical usage of "piano" which, when present in a composition, means to play that section quietly. The second half of the line turns yet another self-contradictory observation into a double-entendre; the "screaming" piano is softened by the instruction of "piano."
The first line of the chorus, when coupled with the second, paints a picture of someone who desperately wants to express their beliefs but, whether it be because the screams are quiet or because screams themselves are not songs, the "singer" and their "song" is rejected by the world at large.
Framing this whole verse as a dream connects these ideas to the larger themes of the song, as being unable to run or scream in a dream is a fairly common experience for people, it seems as though Ezra is using the chorus here to highlight the end of the second verse, "the truth which is you've got nothing to say."
Another equally valid analysis is to literalize the quiet screaming; the anger and animosity between the couple motivates them only to scream, and never to sing. Their unending fighting reduces any opportunity for growth through debate to rubble; at this point, they just don't fucking like each other.

Verse 3

You talk of Serbians, whisper Kosovar Albanians The boy's Romanian, third generation Transylvanian I see the vampires walkin', don't be gripped by fear, you aren't next We're all the sons and daughters of vampires who drained the old world's necks 

Russian iconography is further mentioned throughout "Only God Was Above Us," and serves as one of the more important throughlines of the album -- connecting Ezra's familial history in Eastern Europe, their ties with Russia, and its relationship to modern issues. This, as the first reference in the album to Russia at large, works as a bit of place setting.
Here, the specific namedrops highlight the same conflict described earlier in the song; the Serbians and Kosovo were once a united country as Yugoslavia, but were split by civil war as a result of fundamental ideological differences at the end of the last millennium. Moreover, the usage of "talk" versus "whisper" implies open discussion about the first (Serbia) and the need to sweep the more complicated history of the second (The Kosovar Albanians, the Kosovo War) under the rug.
The conflict between Romania, Kosovo, and Serbia is a deeply complicated and delicate situation that spans generations of ideological and political conflict. The mention of the Romanian's history surrounded by the context of Serbia and Kosovo, and the subsequent criticism of that observation, again highlights the nature of the conflict between the two individuals in the song: where one recognizes the material legacy of these terrible "vampires," the other points out that the new generation is not the old, and are not necessarily beholden to their crimes or traditions.

Chorus 2

In dreams, I scream piano, I softly reach the high note The world don't recognize a singer who won't sing 

Outro / Chorus 3

In dreams, I scream piano, I softly reach the high note The world don't recognize a singer who won't sing 

The repetition of the choruses at the end of the song, combined with the strong call-and-response of the instrumentation between and after the chorus and outro sections, points towards an unending conflict. By the end of the song's narrative, neither side has arrived at a compromise. In reference to the album, "Ice Cream Piano" serves as a massive "YOU ARE HERE" marker on a larger map of western and American political culture. There's a pretty clear line to draw from the struggle between the two characters described in this song and the ouroboric nature of modern-day political discourse, as we witness two parties cannibalize each other in an attempt to garner support from a majority of peoples. But to say that's the entire message of the song feels reductive to the incredible songwriting here. Even that conclusion lends to the broader observation of two ideas that exist only to oppose the other.
Fuckin Ezra, man

Please DO NOT MESSAGE IF YOU ARE THE TYPE TO GHOST OR BLOCK EASILY
Also, please read my full post in my history when you get the chance to.
Seeking a committed partner for a lasting relationship leading to matrimony. Mutual respect and effective communication are essential. I value transparency and honesty, expecting mature handling of any issues that arise. Physical attraction matters, but genuine connection is paramount. I have a preference for White and East Asian men. I'm Angie, a 26-year-old woman from Georgia, passionate about science and aspiring to become an RN. I enjoy various activities, from gaming to sports. Physically, I'm black with Afro-Caribbean, Japanese, and Swedish heritage, standing 5'4" with curly brown hair and brown eyes. Striving towards fitnessis important to me, and I seek a partner who shares that mindset. I prefer men taller than me, financially stable, non-smokers, non-alcoholics, and God fearing with a shared interest in starting a family and live in full faith of God. Clear communication is key, though I admit to occasional social awkwardness. Please reach out if interested, but only if you're serious and willing to invest in building a meaningful connection. If you want to learn more about me message me.

Hey there,
I really liked the idea of a more conserved library. So I created one via Dungeon Draft with levels in mind.
As I'm quite new this whole map creator stuff I'd really appreciate your feedback!
On the google drive you'll find the pictures (webp), dungeondraft file (dungeondraft_map) and for those of you who use foundry a .json file with lighting and walls. For the scene you'll also want the levels mod by theripper93 and the associated mods (libwrapper and Wall Hight). The level hights are:
ground floor0ft - 20ft stairs20ft - 30ft 1st floor30ft - 60ft
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1ArvNOGxuRHvIsJY09AgBeSlhUbj2m85P?usp=drive_link
As for the scene context:
My party found the high librarian in the Caves of Hunger who is a Mummy Lord in our game.
The four towers of the library house great abjuration magic / runes / contraptions, which conserved most of the library's insides and whoever was there at the time of the crash. Over the time the saved wizards became either nothics, mummy librarians or on the even more unlucky side crawling claws with the task to transcribe all damaged books (damaged by the fall or the passing of time).
The role of the nothics in Ythrin is already made clear in the campaign book. They roam the city to either be the eye(s) of Iriolarthas or just be insane little creatures.
The mummys were intermediary librarians who took care of the library while the high librarian was imprisioned in the cave of hunger to be save from crazed wizards and other underdark creatures who entered the city compounds. The reason being, that his heart is the source of the abjuration magic which guards the library as well as the wall of force around the central spire. You can find the heart in the rune circle in the middle of the library's ground floor, although the only clue is a small thrumming red light.
On the ground floor your party can also find two study spaces for wizards which are an the left side occupied by transcribing crawling claws and on the right side by a mummy, sweeping the floor. Behind the counter also are more rooms. One map room, filled with quite outdated but still interesting maps of Toril and maybe other planes of existence. Another room for transcribing and maintaining books. And a laboratory to test and create spells and potions.
If you go upstairs you'll find the first floor as some sort of gallery. In the center are tables and stools for studying wizards and on the north wall are reading nooks. Here I put Scrivenscry and Kingsport, accompanied by a crawling claw, serving as a reading light.
Your context may vary and of course you can change up things to your liking :)
If you have any questions feel free to leave a comment or a dm. Hope you can enjoy it and have fun!

In the 2021 movie Nightmare Alley, the protagonist Stanton Carlyle can appear to read people’s minds through observation, profiling, mind games, and other tricks. He is engaged in Mentalism.
Essentially this is what Thresh embodies. Thresh mains will appear to be able to predict movements with near 100 percent accuracy based on mind games, careful observation of patterns, understanding of low elo vs high elo “tendencies,” and trying to see things from the POV of the ennemy. When this art is mastered, the Thresh is feared in the battlefield and the regular low elo scrub will think… “This is impossible. We’re in big trouble. Somehow he can land all these hooks. He can read my mind!!!!”
The Thresh will appear to be outrageously skilled or even a hacker while in actuality, like the Mentalist from Nightmare Alley, he’s just really practiced and skilled at observation.
Thresh games are also always 1-3 potential plays away from the danger of Shut Eye (Where the performer creates his own doom because he starts to believe in his own act so much that he thinks he is God). When this happens, the Thresh will think that he can do anything and will start making over aggressive gambles that can lead to a loss, similar to what happened in Nightmare Alley. Playing a Thresh is a constant battle to stay one step ahead of the enemy while always being cognizant of realistic probabilities and one’s limits.

I decided to try to write you a letter.
A final letter.
I’m really beginning to believe that you have been playing me for a sucker. Either on purpose or not, either way. I have to go. You have put me through so much. More than I know you remember….so while my actions seem weird or extreme to you, that’s what trauma and years of abuse does….that’s what lying does….that’s what giving someone a safe space only for that to be turned around on them when they are vulnerable. Yeah, I know those things happened to you and it wasn’t right then either but I had no control over that.
So why me? All I ever did was try to help, try to love you and ask for very little in return, if anything. I consistently see you being so nice and polite to strangers and treat me like I fucked up your life or something. When you know damn well that isn’t true. You sold me a false hope and have strung me along on that same hope that that guy would return but I have finally faced the music and accepted that you don’t love me. I don’t know if you ever did. But what you did love was the way I loved you. There’s nothing in the world I wouldn’t do for you…..
I have always been the same with you but had to prove my loyalty time and time and time again. I wouldn’t put my worst enemy through what you put me through. But you know what the kicker was, finally realizing that you actually think I’m stupid because I allow your stupid antics. You think I can’t hear you texting late at night with the cover over your head. Or I don’t see the look on your face when your phone goes off and you want to grab it but I’m right beside you so you escape to the bathroom to quickly return the text. You think I can’t feel your arm move? Or hear the sound of your phone dropping on the metal table? Seriously? That I don’t hear the click from your nails on the screen while you lay there and insult my intelligence by fake snoring…..yeah yeah I know. I’m crazy. You aren’t doing nothing right? You don’t have time for all that? Bad thing is, I honestly don’t know what the fuck you are doing and I’m tired trying to figure it out. I’m tired of feeling alerted when I’m around you because I feel like I’m waiting for the final blow. You slowly chipped away that the 100% trust I had in you in the beginning. You have yourself to blame for that.
You told me every time I get upset like this, I am dead ass right there is something going on. So why can’t you be a man and stop this stupid shit? These are boys games. Men don’t conduct themselves this way. What do you get out of acting like I can’t see you texting? Or jumping to switch the screen every time I move? Or acting like I can’t see your fingers texting while you act like you doing something else. You are so dumb and make it so fucking obvious so that I wouldn’t think you would be stupid enough to do that but you are. Fuck everyone who thinks about playing with you but you always play with others, including me…….I’m so stupid to believe that you lie to everyone on the planet except for me? Wow? Really? The one time I asked you why me? What about me made you want to be with me. I bet you don’t even remember your response……that you fuck with the people you fuck with for whatever reason…….wow. Don’t make me feel too fucking special. I might smile or something.
Fuck.
So ya know, I’m done. I love you so much but I am miserable. I have been lying to myself that it will be okay and my knight in shining armor will return and we will be happy together but sadly, no. It won’t. It isn’t. I put on a smile and act like everything is great and cry myself to sleep almost every night. You shattered my fractured heart. Something you promised you would never do…..but you did. Over and over and over. Now I have to go because I choose to be happy even if I am alone…..
what you did to me has changed me forever and I can never go back to the way I was before. I didn’t ask for any of that. I didn’t ask to be taught lessons. All I wanted was you, how you portrayed yourself to me. Someone to keep me safe from the awful things out there, not knowing the worst threat was beside me……so I am choosing to leave before I hate you. Before the silent resentment starts because I do love you…..but I can’t do this anymore. 5 years of my life and I go to sleep looking at your back as you turn away from me and text under the blanket on your phone. I lay there and fight tears because I feel so rejected by you…..you want me around when I’m useful to you. But when was the last time you were useful to me? When was the last time you did something you didn’t want to do, selflessly, for me? You don’t treat me like you see my value…..sometimes, I believed you just didn’t know any better but you just let me make excuses for you…..and I have nothing left to give you and anything I ask for from you feels forced, you almost can’t even look me in the face. When was the last time you looked in my eyes and told me you loved me? When was the last time you held me or just wanted to be close to me? Yeah I don’t know either…..and this is why it’s easier to keep my mouth shut because i don’t like saying hurtful things but fuck it. You certainly have no problem hurting my feelings, spouting off the most asinine, dishonest things, putting me in a chokehold and causing me to get a knot on my head never asking if I was okay or even apologizing……Serves you right you hurt your knee. That’s what happens to bad people, karma will eventually get you and if she doesn’t, God will.
but 🤨violators get violated right? So what happens to you when your violators come to violate you?
I hope you find what you are looking for in life and always remember me.

There's a bug in the event game mode where if you summon a Snake eyes card or play evenly matched/raigeki/harpes you just insta win the game. pls fix konami. major bug.

I deleted the apps because I can’t take it anymore. It’s true that the men on the apps are on there for a reason. They are either weirdos in a bad way, or attractive but slimy predator types looking to womanize. Every single one. I don’t think there is a single decent dude and if there ever was he was picked up quickly.
I went out with a guy a few nights ago, and while I went into it with casual expectations (I want to get more confident in bed) and made that clear and he said he wanted that too, he love bombed me and made me feel attached. He was SO interested in me, called me hot 600 times, like he just couldn’t handle how insanely “hot” and “amazing” I am. After we slept together he was all goo goo eyes and it felt like how you feel when you’re falling for someone. He was mimicking it to a t. Getting real close in bed, saying “hi” with a smile. Making out with me before I walked back to my car. I thought “damn this guy is fucking in love with me”. Then today, not a single word. I messaged him saying thanks for the night, and he simply “liked” the message 2 hours later. It’s done.
I went in with a casual mindset. He was hot and I thought it would be fun to just hookup. But the womanizer manipulative types still do this shit, so you’re left feeling like your heart has been ripped out when you didn’t even want that in the first place. I literally said to him I just wanted sex and this manipulator played the fake love game anyway. It wasn’t just simply getting along he was laying it on so thick. “My god you’re so beautiful holy shit” and making future plans with me. Telling me I should come over and do “a b and c” with him in the future, over and over and over.
I deleted the app and I have to just commit to being around people in person. I am very shy and don’t know anyone in my new town so it just feels impossible. I’m also 31 and don’t even know if there are other men my age available or around.
I want to stay in a positive mindset but after this last “date” I’m feeling crushed. It was absolutely psychotic behavior to act that way with me, only to literally ghost me the next day. I just can’t wrap my mind around how horribly abusive it is and it’s the 5th time it’s happened, it makes you feel like used trash.
If anyone has any advice or comments or if you relate, please share. I feel awful right now and I don’t have a close friend to turn to.

I am looking for a lady between 25 and 35 years old, for a committed monogamous childfree relationship. My goal is to become a true team, supporting each other, caring for each other, nurturing each other and helping each other grow and realise our goals and dreams as much as possible. I'm hoping to find someone that values a relationship as much as I do and takes it seriously. It's not the only thing my life revolves around, but it's also not just something 'nice to have' for me.
I am 186cm tall, slim/fit built, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Both my arms are tattooed (full sleeve), as are my calves and the areas above my ankles. Regarding pictures see below. I am a runner, training multiple times a week. I'm also vegan. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. While I am mostly securely attached, withdrawing from me triggers anxiety and I have made a horrible experience with an avoidant partner in the past, so that is something I fear I cannot deal with again.
I am also an atheist.
I am a very warm, soft and sensitive person, I think I am humorous, I am self reflecting a lot and I can also be really passionate and romantic. Those are traits that also are really important to me in a woman.
I can be quite social, I am a good talker, but also love to listen to really get to know someone on a deeper level. I can enjoy an evening out with friends just as much as the silence of sitting at the shores of the river and watching the sunset in solitude (although I've been craving to watch it together with a partner for a really long time now). I can be out in a pub, at a rave, a metal show or at a football game and have the time of my life, but I cannot do these things every day; I need recharge time (on the sofa, in the woods for a run, a lazy Sunday staying in bed etc.). This should give you an idea; basically, I am a homebody that thoroughly enjoys going out in moderation.
I won't say too much about hobbies; suffice it to say I am into the dark, the obscure, the macabre, the occult, the mysterious, the erotic. It won't surprise you that I had a gothic phase in my youth, bonus points if you did too!
What I'm looking for
Although similar hobbies and interests are a plus, emotional and intimate compatibility are more important to me. I am a very sensitive and emotional person (I do cry easily and by this point I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, sorry), so if you're too, we will definitely understand each other. I need someone who I can open up to (which I do rather quickly, anyway), be myself, bare my soul to and I need these things from you, too. I've had my share of emotionally unavailable women who were afraid of intimacy so I know I can't deal with that again because of the way how those things affect me. I am always emotionally invested with the woman I pursue and in those cases that was to my detriment. But my ability to feel so deep is also something I wouldn't want to change because as of yet, although it's getting harder, I haven't given up on finding someone.
With those emotional needs come two requirements that I found to be vital over the years: First, being able to be silly and cutesy together and to accept each other's inner child and care for it. I am not talking about having to deal with another person's immaturity or inability to perform basic adult skills, rather with the way sadness, hurt, anxiety and being overwhelmed manifests for me (and maybe for you, too?). I need someone who is able to comfort me, to hold me, to allow me to be weak and needy for a while until I've calmed down, and I'm more than ready to offer the same. Your inner child can come out for a while, no problem (: Also in a positive way: Thankfully, today everyone seems to be understanding of the cuteness overload cats (or any animal baby, really) can cause; I need that with a partner. I also still have plushies as comfort animals and ideally, you do too.
Apparently in every relationship, one person is the stronger one. In the past, I have been with women who obviously were stronger than me, but that doesn't mean they always had to be strong, far from it. I certainly need to be able to feel protected, but it's not like I'm a particularly needy partner, like everyone, I have my ups and downs, but I can pull my weight and have been told by past partners that I am very caring and that they felt safe and understood with me, and providing that for my partner is really important for me as well.
Second, intimate compatibility. I am rather insatiable and love to experiment when it comes to the bedroom, so you should, too, in order that we can explore and enjoy together. I found out how fulfilling living out those fantasies can be after years of never being able to try and in a relationship, this kind of fulfillment for both partners is a must for me. I found the term 'filthy best friends and partners' to be a perfect description.
I'm looking for a balance between healthy independence and being emotionally present. A relationship where we 'get' each other; we're both each other's number one and treat each other like royalty. Where a disagreement leads to more intimacy between us as we understand better, not to resentment. Where we're comfortable baring our souls to each other, becoming a safe haven and secure base for each other. I don't like the modern notion that you 'should never feel too safe in a relationship' because that sounds like running from the mafia (and believe me, I love mafia movies); you should always put in effort, yes, but safety is one of the things I always want to experience and provide in a relationship. We shouldn't fear that a disagreement leads straight to breakup. I know ‘self-sufficiency’ is trending right now, but I feel like as partners, we’re partly responsible for each other and not our own but also each other’s happiness. Being dependant and dependable at the same time is important; making each other’s wellbeing a priority. If you’re not able to healthily depend on someone and their support while you’re having a hard time, look elsewhere. If I have to be afraid you’ll run at the first major problem that surfaces, even if it’s a ‘you’-problem, it’s not going to work. I think that all things can and need to be talked about. If you think ignoring someone for days is a form of communication, please look elsewhere.
I am looking for someone real. We all have our problems, I don't want or need a 'perfect' person. You don't have everything figured out or 'all your shit' together. Be imperfect. Admit when you feel sad and angry, lonely, hopeless or even helpless – it's all relatable. Don't hide it. Be quirky, be dorky, be witchy, opinionated, be yourself. Don't pretend.
I'm looking for someone to share romance with. Not great gestures, but small, meaningful ones. Poems for each other, expressing our feelings; cards with heartfelt messages that we put our perfume/cologne on, and a symbol that means something to us only, the print of your lips with lipstick, the way I sign and seal my letters for you.
Just as important to me is agreeing on living a healthy life, staying in shape both for ourselves and for each other, regularly working out and eating healthy. I am drug and disease-free and expect the same of you. I do drink as I love a good beer or glass of wine, rum or whiskey, but I've never really been drinking much and especially during the past year have further reduced it. One vice I have is that I enjoy a couple of cigars a year, but I can definitely accommodate you in this regard.
Another important point is aligned life goals: I value safety more than adventure. I want to build a home together with my partner, a safespace for the both of us, where we always feel loved and protected, a place that we create together, make it cozy together so we just love to get back home there wherever we might have been, a home we decorate together for Halloween (my favourite holiday) or Christmas or Springtime, as we live in tune with the seasons, enjoying nature on a walk or the rain outside, reading in our cozy home. I value stability and harmony.
Appearance-wise, I am into ladies on the smaller side), so I'm looking for someone petite/slim/skinny/healthy-fit. Likewise, I am not really muscular and don't have visible abs; like I said, I'm a runner, so if you're more into the gym-type, I'm not a good fit.
I’d prefer to move from text to voice calls, videochat and then meeting up, all of that rather sooner than later. Not that there’s a need to rush anything, but I’d rather see earlier if we’re compatible or not; as someone who catches feelings fast I need to protect myself.
Caveats

• I don't like travelling as it stresses me out; I don't mind being somewhere else for a week or two, but the organisation part of it drains my energy very quickly and dealing with stuff that doesn't work out is overwhelming to me. Smaller trips are ok, but I'm not the right person to travel the world with.
• I am not the most awake person in the morning (i.e. I identify as nightowl)
• I don't want children and had a vasectomy
• I need space for my own projects/time to recharge after social interaction.
• While I feel like I am in tune with my inner child and working on/with it through therapy, I realise this is something that could be a turn-off for people.
• I have been diagnosed with depressive episodes in the past and am taking anti-depressants right now. I realise that I am a work in progress, maybe more so than in times past, but I manage and the fact that I'm putting myself out here is based on me being ready to get to know someone new.
• I want to create a home together here, as I'm firmly rooted where I was born; I realise this is a lot to ask, but I have seen many people here being open to moving, so I want to at least try reaching out to them.

If you're interested, feel free to message me and include some pictures of yourself and I will reply with my own. Have a nice day (:

I purchased my wheel set last year in November, I’ve used it for about 2 hours max on Asseto Corsa and it’s been shelved ever since due to Holidays and life in general. Finally have some time to get back into it and actually learn and enjoy the wheel.
I had my eyes on this game before purchasing the wheel. I just want to know from users who also use a Logitech G920/G29 how is the driving experience?
• Does the driving in game respond to how lightly the gas and brake pedals are pressed? Or does it pick up as if you are fully pressed on the gas.
• How’s the support with the wheel set, is it plug and play or do you need to manually configure the wheel.
In addition — does this game support community mods? Do you recommend this game? Open to all suggestions, info and alternatives.
Thank you in advance! Hope to hear from some of you soon!

For the last few (around 4)hours I tried the Char. creator. As (probably)many of you I tried also to make myself and my wife into this creator.
I do this with every game, as it is something I enjoy doing. Last game I spent 30 hours on Dragon's Dogma in char creator, and the result was really good. I was really looking forward to the sculpting nodes of SC.
But this creator, I just can't get it. The nodes are kinda weirdly interconnected. I move one, the others move too.
For example: I move the corner lip node to the right, because I want a wide mouth, the upper lip goes down... I dont want that, I want a wide mouth with a full upper lip for exmaple. I also want to move the whole mouth up and down, without changing the shape of it. Its not possible.
Same with the eyes. I move the "Caruncle" node (the corner node near the nose) because I need it to be a bit lower, the eyes are getting smaller. I want a big eye with a lower Caruncle.
I can keep going, like the eyebrows. I move the eyebrows the complete forehead changes shape.
I am NOT saying its a bad creator. But I have problems getting the result I want. How do other Char creators deal with this? Any hint/tips/tricks?
To me it looks like the nodes use a blending between the models that are put it. My understanding was that we had freedom to place facial items like brow, nose, mouth etc where we wanted, how we wanted it within a reasonable placement area.
This creator needs a huge amount of new models as input to make it really good and flexible enough for all the people using it, but that's a lot of scanning of models work Or give freedom of sculpting but that takes maybe a huge amount of programming work.
Or even better daydreaming: A creator using an uploaded yourface.jpg as base for the face you want and go from there with the sculpting.
Either ways its a interesting vision CIG has for the creator, its just for me not yet "there yet". I see the potential but its for now too limited to really make a look-a-like of yourself.
If I am doing it all wrong, tell me, so that I learn from you.

So i beat classic mode for the first time last night without even intending to Here's how it went!!!
So before the run started, i was basically just doing short quick runs with tinkatink to try and get the candy to unlock its' passive (huge power) since i'd seen that huge power tinkaton destroys Ray, M-Ray and Eternatus (mostly).
While doing those runs, i got curious and decided to see what would happen if i stuck Tinka on a team with 4 pickup pokemon (Zigzagoon,Lillipup,Bunnelby and a Meowth i caught). Also something fun to note is that the bunnelby had Pokerus, not that it was necessary probably but i wasn't complaining.
So i just did the run as usual, solo'd the early game with tinka with a little help from the pickup pokemon here and there and ended up having the furthest run i'd had that night with just Tinka so i decided to try taking the run 'seriously' as a joke, thinking it would end pretty soon.
Fast forward a lot and i end up destroying Finn on floor 145 with mainly just Tinkaton. My tinkatink had ice hammer as an egg move so ray was a cakewalk, and i had a decent build up of vitamins and power boosting items like metal coat and Neva-Melt-Ice, mainly due to pickups.
Fast forward again, the elite 4 + champ was the Kanto set, so they weren't too much of an issue except for blue who was a little scary but not too bad.
Then we reach the endgame and i get to Floor 195, and i'm thinking 'Ok, surely the run can't die now, i just have way too many things in my favour for this to go wrong.' Turns out, Mega ray was actually a pretty big issue for Tinka, cause fly was doing a lot of damage to it and i couldn't heal the damage back with draining kiss, so i take a couple shots at it to try figure something out.
Little did i know that the MVP of the fight in this case was zigzagoon. Because i gave it baby doll eyes, it had a priority over Ray, and could lower its' attack, so i decided on a whim to send it out, and sure enough i was able to lower its' attack but that still wasn't enough, but then it used fly and i realised i had endure on that Zigzagoon from an egg move, and because the ray kept spamming Fly, i would just BBDE and then endure over and over until the ray was at minus 6. From there it was a switch back into Tinka and 2 ice hammers and the Ray was down.
Floor 200 rolls around and it's rough. The first phase isn't too bad but then i found out that second phase has flamethrower, which of course, Tinka is weak to. I throw myself at the fight a few times and i get this run where E-Max eternatus is just using flamethrower on Tinka over and over again while Tinka heals it off. So i throw out zigzagoon as my second mon thinking it'll just go down like the rest. I get a few sand attacks off on Eternatus before it finally takes zigzagoon out. Then i throw in lillipup, and because Eternatus was so obsessed with attacking Tinka over and over again, i manage to widdle it down by using a combination of Ice hammer from Tinka and leer from lillipup. And that was the run.
Moral of the story, Zigzagoon op, Pokerogue best game 2024 and Tinkaton is peak I still haven't got enough candy for huge power
I get if this all doesn't sound too impressive to the people that do endless runs and stuff but i just thought this run was so fun that i wanted to share it.

TDLR: I (26F) have been with my boyfriend (26M) for 3 years now. I sometimes perceive/judge him to have a weird/flirty attitude towards other girls sometimes. Am I trippin?
There have been a few instances that have made me feel weird; and I’ll explain the 2 instances that feel the most significant to me below. I just can’t tell, dawg. He’s social. He’s proud. He’s youthful, and he loves variety- variety of people. He lives for conversation, and I just don’t want to be overthinking here. I wonder: is my boyfriend playing some dumb game sometimes, or am I trippin? (I’ve brought this thought up to him in the past- after the first instance I listed here. He denied any foul play...but then, ya know, something weird happened again.)

Instance 1: We were at a gym, waiting at the front counter for me to get a new gym card. Turns out he knows the girl who walks up, they start excitedly buzzing back and forth, I'm quiet the whole time watching them, unsure if someone's going to acknowledge me or not. She never once looked at or registered me; and he did not acknowledge me. Something about her demeanor just felt flirty- a lot of sarcasm, jesting, low stares with little smirks... just looking at him in a way that made me feel like I was intruding on some kind of moment. Over 10 mins have passed and nobody has acknowledged me yet, I’m still right beside him. Eventually he asks her what she’s doing; to which she replies “some homework... wanna come help?” With low eyes and a big smirk.
He stutters and says “well, I can’t cuz I gotta workout…and also she needs a new gym card” and gestured to me. As we walked away, he mused “that was weird.” I asked him to elaborate, and his response was very vague and incomprehensible. I felt like he was throwing words out there to backpedal. I pushed it, to which he then said “idk, it kinda felt flirty” To which I said “ok, I can see why you think that.” I later on told him I didn't like how I wasn't acknowledged; especially after she asked him to essentially come behind the desk with her and help her study.
A couple months later; he asks me if I’d enjoy a party. I keep asking questions to ask who’s party, turns out he spoke to her earlier at the gym and found out she’s going to a party at a college. He was like “I thought it might be fun for us, something different.” I basically said: hey man, hard pass, and this feels weird. How do you even know her? And did you not admit you felt yourself she flirted with you?
He got all apologetic for "not realizing it was weird" as I argued my logic and things felt a little pathetic to me after. Turns out she was friends with his ex, when I noted to him how it seemed they already knew each other.

Instance 2: We were visiting my friend at the bar she works at. There was a new worker there, a woman near our age. When my friend brings her to us to introduce her; my bf immediately says “hey- do you workout? I can tell.” The world disappears around them for a while- they're jesting, throwing around wit, getting to know each other with excited intrigue. Like ok, social people right? After maybe 10 mins I try to introduce myself to their convo, throwing in a couple thoughts; but they didn't notice. So I sat back and chilled- letting my thoughts flow freely so that I wouldn't get caught up in a reactive feeling and internalize my perceptions. Eventually, my bf's and I's companion (who accompanied us) gets quiet- I got the vibe he was observing their convo himself- he was also saying nothing. He's a good friend of ours, a very observant friend to me. I think after a while my bf noticed we'd been rather silent and he starts interacting with me again, rubbing my back.
See? I don’t want to be tripping over dumb stuff here.
But uh... We later get home, and he randomly brings her up again- how cool she was, how muscular she was, and more thoughts about her. Eventually the topic died down because I was just kind of candidly responding; waiting to see if there was something else he was trying to get at.
Now like. We live together, he loves spending time with me; all that. He's never hurt our trust in a sense of being unfaithful; so that's where I'm stuck feeling like...do I just have some internal stuff to work out here?

Someone here about a month ago asked for a summary or notes on Sheras teachings and I cant seem to find it anymore, so I will list here some of the things I have noted.
• Have a goal in mind
• Stay feminine
• Dont talk about your personal business, family/exes/private personal life heavy on the exes!
• if he tries to have sex immediately and he’s all sex sex sex just tell them ”Okay maybe this isn’t going to work out, but I have the perfect friend for you who likes your type. Her name is Alexa, I’ll send her number to you. She is soo free spirited” or just blatantly ask for money if he’s that rude.
• if he asks for your body count, ask about his bank account (only dusties ask this)
• He needs to like you more than you like him
• Spend his money
• Allow him to cheat, dont try to control any man
• All men are the same, their income isn’t
• Whatever comes out of a mans mouth, reverse it
• If you want him to love you, love yourself not him
• Men want what they cant have
• Emotions and fighting. Treat him like your boss in that sense, you dont get messy with your boss either.
• Emotions are better if you act them
• Laugh at his jokes
• Let him do the talking, and dont correct him. You want to make him feel good about himself around you.
• Tell them you dont have sex outside of relationships
• Exculisivity costs money, you’re not 3rd graders with post-it cards asking to be their girlfriend.
• If they say something you dont like give them an ugly look
• If he doesnt fix his issues within a week he’s a dusty. (E.g car breaks down etc.)
• ”I don’t deal with men who cant keep their word and are secretly broke”
• Dusties run away on their own if given a financial burden
• Always have a financial problem as a reason why you havent texted back or are unable to see them.
• Don’t be too available
• I look for what a man can do for me, offer me. I make him feel good, and elevate him
• When he makes time for you, you make time for him. And make sure that your time is being compensated, wheter it’s experience or material, or money
• Have several options
• It’s all about him stroke his ego
• You are the prize !!!!
• Ask him for help for free stuff first then he doesn’t have a problem with problems that cost
• Pay attention to details and make mental notes about him
• Dont sleep on the first date
• You cant change a dusty, a dusty will change themselves
• Be their weakness
• Say ”I’m very attracted to you” to ugly men
• Be emotionally reclusive
• Let him pick the place for the date but know in advance so you can ghost if it’s a cheap coffee shop
• Believe the red flags
• Talk slow and sensual
• Act like you dont need him at all
• Only being sexual, giving sex, talking about sex, initiating sex is being a pickmeisha. Use your other assets, such as voice, eyes, body language, humor, appearance
• If you want to be a pickmeisha, be one to a bank account
• Confidence and being the prize is in your mind, there is no tutorial for it
• Dont outshine him in gift giving
• If you’re talking and he’s not listening, ask ”Do you hear me? I want your opinion on this you’re so smart after all” you train him subconciously to listen and react to you while giving him a compliment
• Everytime you stress about a man, wheter he’s seeing other people etc. Reverse it. Why isn’t he stressed about you?
• You can be a pickmeisha to get their attention if you immediatly go back to yourself
• Dont carry the conversation
• Men tend to be seduced by looks, women by words. Be careful he’s not all talk, but actions too.
• When they give you the silent treatment, you act like they arent giving you the silent treatment because youre not talking to him anyway and that way it wont work on you
• ”Oh baby yeah I cant wait it’s just going to be so great, but I have to get to know you a little better first. It makes it more passionate for me, and I know you want to please me, right? I cant just sleep with anybody I barely know, it’s not exciting for me.”
• He should have more than 1 income
• Date dusties and for fun when young, start dating for funds at 23
• If he tries to come back, have a list of things you want and make him complete all of them.
• Play dumb
• If you playing the game correctly you shouldn’t be worried about commitment
• ”How you doing?” ”Oh I was doing bad but now that you called I’m feeling much better”
• Being unbothered holds actual power
• If a man ghosts you or has other options you dont care
• Dont approach men, but you can always pass them the ball
•In order to take things slow with a man you need to have high values
• My brain doesnt understand less
• ”It’s been a while since I met a handsome succesful man that’s not afraid to impress a woman”

DC Next Proudly Presents:

THE NEW TITANS

In Shadow of Kestrel
Issue Nine: War Dove
Written by AdamantAce, GemlinTheGremlin & PatrollinTheMojave
Edited by Deadislandman1 and Voidkiller826
 
Next Issue > Coming Next Month
 
 
“Raven!”
Slade’s gruff voice pierced through the deafening, wave-like roars in Raven’s head, but the rage was too much to bear. Her hands sizzled as hellfire danced in her palms, her body readying for another attack. She locked eyes with a reptilian soldier, dismounting his simian steed and charging on foot, but as she lunged forwards to strike him, she watched a man fly into her path. Slade Wilson caught the young Titan’s hand and pushed, throwing Raven backwards.
“Come on, kid, snap out of it!” But as Slade’s words fell on deaf ears, he felt the familiar sting of a fist to his jaw, a crack echoing in his ears. He recoiled from the attack but powered through his injury and stood his ground. Sinking his heels into the ground, he locked eyes with the girl before him. Her face seemed contorted and uncanny, as if all of the rage she was feeling was pouring out of her. She groaned angrily as she thrusted her head downwards, her forehead making contact with Slade’s teeth, before pulling her head back up again in preparation for another attack.
Before she could make one, however, one of the lizardmen had almost reached the warring duo’s sides, and as he lunged forward with his long spear, he made contact with Raven’s side. A small rip formed in the side of Raven’s outfit, which seemed to only anger her further. However, it did seem to distract her enough; Mar’i fired off a single Starbolt which struck only the ground - a warning shot.
“Raven! Please!” the half-Tamaranean cried out. But the Raven she knew was buried under unfathomable amounts of fury; she ignored her teammate’s call and instead flew forwards and swung out at the reptiloid. The strike glowed with red flame, sending the creature skidding across the floor, barely conscious. Slade spotted a flash of something else on her face, as if she was finally able to fight back against the endless rage - pain, perhaps, or anguish. But in an instant, it was gone.
That flicker of something other than white-hot anger was enough for Slade.
He clutched his side as his still open wound began to ache, the bandages feeling wet with fresh blood. His jaw felt crooked, and as he gritted his teeth, it felt as though they sat differently atop each other. And yet, he clutched his staff tightly in one hand, and with the other he beckoned to Raven.
“Kid, you’re fighting it, I know you are!” Slade felt his mouth filling with blood rather than saliva.
Within a moment, Raven’s attention was locked on the white-haired man once again. She fired bolt after bolt of black and red flame, but Slade was still dextrous despite his pain. He dodged and dived, weaving through the fire, until he finally managed to make contact with his opponent. He drove his staff into her chest and pushed his weight against the weapon, forcing her backwards. She rose into the air, a black mist pouring from her arms and over her face, a large ghostly corvid taking her place. He felt the deathly cold shadow of the bird’s wing fall over him, his feet leaving the ground as she scooped him into the air.
He looked down at the ground far beneath him. A fall from this height would kill anyone, he thought, let alone someone beaten half to death.
Then, as a verdant bolt of energy struck it in the side, Raven’s Soul Self shrieked and the shadows retreated inwards. Slade felt himself falling through the air for a second, then two, before he felt his back collide with something soft and cushioned. As he looked up, he met the gaze of Conner, who soared to the ground in an instant, placing the snow-haired man on the ground and giving a swift nod.
Raven let out a pained, frustrated yell as she returned to the ground, aided by a grappling line expertly positioned by Tim, and in response, Conner jetted off towards the sound of her cries. Slade’s feet faltered beneath him, and he stumbled to keep his balance. His breathing was laboured and his vision was becoming fuzzy. It felt as though, he realised, all the blood loss and violence he had suffered over the past few hours were finally catching up to him. Was this what dying felt like?
“Slade!” shouted a voice, followed by the dulled drumming of hurried footsteps. Slade pulled his hand across his face to wipe away the mental haze and drops of blood. It was Don, sprinting towards him. When Slade felt Don clasp him by shoulders, he realized just how slowed he was by his injuries. “Plan?,” Slade coughed out.
“You’ve seen what she can do. I only see one way out of these without one of the kids getting hurt. I’d do it myself, but I’m out of practice and this is too important to leave to chance.” Don looked around anxiously, his face betraying that he had a lot on his mind. “I’m giving you the powers of a god.” Slade opened his mouth to ask a question, a million came to mind. He glanced across the battlefield. Through a blurry film, he saw Raven’s Soul Self bat Conner away with its wing. He careened into the trunk of a thick tree, uprooting it with a deep crunch. “Are you sure?,” Slade asked, breathless.
“I’m not losing another Titan.” Don squeezed his eyes shut. His grip on Slade tightened as pale, almost blinding light enveloped them. It felt warm. No, better than that: it felt peaceful. With his enhanced senses, Slade could hear his erratic heartbeat slow. Fleeting visions bubbled up in his mind, opening up his awareness beyond the wildest dreams of Project Veritas. He felt rivers of magical energy flowing through the air and earth. Each of them spiralled towards a depression. Towards Raven, he knew instinctively. Iridescent blue light spread outward from his shoulders. It washed over his body armor, bleaching the jet black panels until his entire body shone with radiance. The pain from wounds old and new faded, replaced by serenity - and power. Don opened his eyes again and sighed gently; a concoction and joy, relief, and quiet mourning.
“There,” Don remarked. Slade felt lighter, less angry, less burdened. He looked down at the iridescent light enveloping his body. Magical energy buzzed against the surface of his skin. “The powers of the Dove - officially yours.”
Slade sucked in a nervous breath. “Don…” Even rejuvenated, he was still lost for words.
“They’re yours now,” Don smiled weakly. “Now go earn them. There’s a Titan in dire need of our help.”
Conner floated out of the dense jungle, rubbing his forehead. “Is Slade glowing or do I have a concussion?”
Slade looked over at Raven. She seemed less erratic, her movements driven by her brain rather than her gut. Tim’s staff batted fiercely against her, each strike buffeting her back more and more, but it was clear to Slade that Raven was not any weaker physically - her mind, however, was another story.
Slade began marching towards her, the ache in his side dulled. “Raven. You’re strong. Fight this rage inside of you.” Raven glared at him, a spark of something in her eyes, as she swooped in towards him at top speed. As she neared him, however, Slade readied his staff, stretching it out in front of him. As the tip of the weapon struck Raven, a beam of white energy coursed through her, as if she had been struck by lightning, and her body was flung backwards across the dirt.
Slade danced a hand over his rifle, but something felt different. He pulled it into his hands and inspected it swiftly; nothing seemed out of order. Raven rose slowly from her supine position, snarling softly to herself. Her movements had slowed, the expression on her face becoming closer to horror than rage. She was doing it.
“You’re nearly there, kid,” Slade soothed, his words suddenly like butter. He watched Raven’s shoulders start to relax. “That’s it. Just fight this, Raven. You’re almost there.”
Despite her tremendous progress, Raven’s blistering fury won out once more, and she charged a large bolt of hellfire in her hands. Slade fiddled with his rifle and crossed his fingers. There was a standstill between the two. Slade analysed his rifle again; there was something different about the barrel, as if it had been swapped out for another similar model. The stock felt lighter, too, as if the weight had been–
Raven roared at him, swiping wildly with glowing fists, and in an instant Slade instinctively pulled the trigger.
What fired from the gun was not a silvery bullet, but a familiar glowing bolt of white light, cloud-like in appearance. As it struck Raven, she sucked in a deep breath, the energy engulfing her. Her face softened and her posture relaxed. Then she swung out for the man’s weakened side, his bandages poking through the aura of light. And yet, as he stayed steadfast, not even attempting to dodge the attack. Sparks flew from the point of contact. Slade just readied another shot and fired.
Her body swayed with the blow. Slade closed the gap between them and focused on the new warmth he felt, concentrating it into his staff as best he could. Then, as he held it out in front of him at arm’s length, he swiped at Raven and struck her in the side of the shoulder. Each blow seemed to be more effective than the last, but as Raven’s movements continued to slow, Slade held fire.
“You’re doing it, Raven,” Slade encouraged. He watched as the other Titans surrounded Raven, each of them ready for any further attacks. Everyone watched with bated breath as their teammate and friend thrashed and recoiled from the hit. Her breathing was rapid, although it felt closer to panic than unabashed fury. She clasped her hands over her head, groaning. Then, suddenly, she stopped.
Her face had softened completely, her jaw slack, and tears filled her vision. She looked up at Slade with a comfort in her eyes. The aura emanating from him was pervasive and contagious, and although she had felt lost in a sea of impossibly vast emotions, its warmth and comfort cut through. The anger was still there somewhat, the last remaining dregs still working its way out of her system, but the comfort, the peace that Slade was providing was the anchor for her to stabilise herself. She had only ever seen this kind of power when Don…
Raven’s eyes widened as she realised what that meant. She collapsed to her knees, suddenly feeling the bone-deep fatigue her rage had suppressed. Her teammates rushed in around her. Mar’i dropped to a knee by her side and put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s OK. You’re safe. Everyone’s OK.”
“Don I’m—” She wiped away a stream of tears, stumbling her way out of the emotional vortex she’d been sucked into. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened. I’ve lost control before, but never like this.”
Don looked older. Creases ran across his forehead and around his eyes. His smile hadn’t changed. “Raven, my brother and I got those powers when I was a kid. We didn’t ask for them. We weren’t ready for them. We didn’t know how to use them, let alone control them.” He laughed dryly, recalling Hank. “I don’t regret anything. Giving my powers to Slade is the best thing I’ve done with them in years. I know Hank would feel the same way.”
In the moment of silence that followed, Raven rose to her feet and pulled her cloak tightly around herself. She was still shaking. Tim’s eyes drifted from her to Slade. “Something’s gnawing at me. Kestrel’s powers are weakened in Skartaris. Don’s…” He coughed, “Slade’s powers are amplified. If this place is what affected you—”
Mar’i’s face flashed with recognition, “—your powers must be tied to the Lords of Order and Chaos!”
Tim furrowed his brow. “Maybe.” He hardly had time to consider further when a thundering crack tore open the sky. Two bolts of swirling energy - one red and one blue - met above them, forming a swirling portal at their vertex. The Titans readied their weapons, expecting the worst.
“It’s them.” Slade murmured, still put off by his uncanny awareness. Terataya and T’Charr descended from the sky, one wreathed in mist, the other, magma. The two elementals stopped a few feet above the ground, hovering.
Terataya was the first to speak. Even at a whisper, her voice reverberated through the air. “I don’t usually care for surprises, Don, but this was a pleasant one.” A thin smile appeared on her face.
“Slade Wilson.” Terataya’s neck turned at an unnatural angle to face him. “You wield the powers of Order with great skill. Who understands the dangers of unchecked War better than a soldier. Become my champion. Protect the balance.”
Slade took a step back, then glanced at Don.
“She’s right.” Don said, with only a hint of hesitation. “It took me years to use the powers like you used them today. You’re a natural.”
Slade looked at his hands, still gently pulsing with pale blue light. “Thanks.” He allowed himself a weak smile. “But no thanks.”
“What.” T’Charr’s voice boomed.
“It doesn’t take Zatanna to realize an old soldier like me makes a piss-poor Avatar of Peace. I fight for a living, and I’m not deluded enough to think that makes me good at anything but fighting. If you want someone who understands the need for balance, Don just sacrificed everything special about him for it.”
Don raised an eyebrow. “None taken.”
“His actions today were noble, but they do not make up for years spent squandering the gift.”
“Squandering? The Titans wouldn’t exist today if he hadn’t pulled them together. Everything they’ve done. Everything they’ve achieved for your balance wouldn’t have happened without him, including stopping that monster you made.”
“Watch your tone, mortal.” T’Charr threatened.
“There may be a vein of truth to his words, lover.” Terataya said. “But *if we were to restore Don Hall’s power, we would need assurances. His indecision led down this path.”*
Rocks ground against each other as T’Charr landed beside Don. “You would have weeks, not years, to select a counterpart and return to your duties.”
Don’s response was instantaneous. “I’ve made a decision.”
“You’ve decided if you’ll take up the mantle of Dove again?”
Don nodded. “And who should be the new Hawk.”
Terataya giggled. “Full of surprises today. T’Charr?”
“We should discuss this.” He said. “In private.”
The three of them vanished, leaving the Titans and Slade alone on a battlefield riddled with bits of dino meat and ape fur.
 
○○ Ⓣ ○○
 
“You don’t think they’re gonna come back in like, 200 years, right?” Conner asked. He sat beside the depowered Slade Wilson, who was downing aspirin to make up for the sudden deficit in peace energy.
“I don’t know.” Tim said. “But we should give them more than fifteen minutes.”
As if on cue, the skies opened again. Again, the chromatic energy lit the sky and again a portal opened its swirling maw. This time, however, it wasn’t two elemental Lords to descend. Raven squinted to make the figures out.
“Oh my god.” Conner said, having a far easier time with his super-vision.
“What? Who is it?” Tim asked.
“Donna!” Mar’i shouted. She shot off the ground towards her. Her black combat armor was replaced with a crimson and white bodysuit studded with stars that seemed to twinkle as the light shifted around her. The sword at her side was gone too, replaced with a coiled loop of rope suffused with the same brilliant energy. The two collided into an embrace, spinning through the air as they held each other tightly.
Don was the first to land, restored with the powers of Dove. He looked stronger than ever, and maybe more importantly, happier. Even Tim’s typical thoughtful brooding has been pierced by an unimpeachable joy.
“I don’t understand,.” Raven said. “S-She’s alive. How is this possible?”
“I knew there was only one person who could be trusted with the powers of War, with Hank’s abilities.” He scratched the back of his neck, a bit guilty. “And she’d been staring me in the face for years. It took some doing, but eventually T’Charr and Terataya saw that too.”
Donna landed beside him, Mar’i only a step behind. By now Conner had stepped forward. He tried not to choke over his words. “I’m sorry. If I’d—”
Donna didn’t let him get the words out before pulling him into a grapple-turned-hug that quickly grew as the rest of the team piled in. Slade flicked another aspirin into his mouth.
“Danyah!” A voice called out from over the ridge. It was Travis, mounted atop a fanged reptilian creature in the vague shape of a horse and flanked on either side by his gold-armored honor guard. He broke into a gallop, stopping just short of the Titans. “When I saw the skies, I feared the worst. Is it really you? Has sorcery brought you back to us?”
“It’s me, Travis. A Lord of Chaos brought me back.”
“Not to interrupt,.” Slade said, still nursing his wounds. “But did either of you ask them to bring us back to Chicago?”
“I…” Don grimaced. “Donna, how do we get home?”
“How did you get here? Surely you could return the way you came.” Travis said.
“No, we can’t.” Tim said, pressing a few buttons on his wrist’s holographic display. “Whatever magic pervades Skartaris is also causing some extreme time dilation. I can’t guarantee we’d return to the 21st century, or even to Earth.”
“I spent a decade in Skartaris and returned to Earth nearly two centuries later. It’s the influence of Chaos. We’d need a Skartaran mage of overwhelming power to stabilize our return.” She spat the word mage with disgust. Travis’s expression seemed to confirm the reputation of Skartaran spellcasters.
Before their anxiety could spiral, the sky above began to churn. Moments later, the ground shook as a violent bolt of lightning cleaved the air, striking with such ferocity that all but Conner and Donna were flung backward. Mar'i skidded across the damp undergrowth, her senses overwhelmed by the acrid scent of ozone. Her mind was racing; their victory was hard fought, and she doubted they had much left in the tank for another confrontation. She dug her hands into the ground and pushed herself up as she choked from the smell. The Warlord Morgan and his military guards snapped to attention, forming a protective ring around the crater that now marred the earth.
From the smoking pit, a figure rose, unfolding from a crouch like something out of Terminator. Adorned in a red and white jumpsuit that accentuated his lithe build, the young man's appearance was marked by a red cowl and goggles, with sandy brown hair rebelliously spilling out.
Conner squinted through the dissipating smoke, murmuring under his breath, “A speedster?” The Flashes had had a variety of different sidekicks and other allies over the years, but none of them recognised this one
With a nonchalant flair that seemed at odds with the charged atmosphere, the newcomer greeted them. “Hey, everyone chillax. I'm here to get you guys back home.”
Donna, ever the leader, stepped forward and spoke with a commanding curiosity, now emboldened with the war aura of Hawk. “And who are you exactly? Why should we trust you with such a claim?”
Flashing a cheeky grin, he tilted his head and responded, “Well, I’m a speedster for one. Name’s Impulse. If I run fast enough, then I can… well, I guess bend time.”
Behind Donna, the group exchanged sceptical glances. Raven's face remained shadowed by recovery, Mar'i and Conner braced for action, and Tim discretely checked his gadgets, no doubt for something that he could use on a speedster should the need arise.
“Yeah, we figured that much,” Don cut through the tension, his voice calm yet insistent. “Who sent you?”
Impulse chuckled, his demeanour remaining unfazed by their scrutiny. “Look, the details aren't the fun part. Trust me, I can get us back.”
As a silence thick with doubt and scepticism settled over the group, Impulse seemed to realise his casual assurances weren't sufficient. With a theatrical sigh, he reached up and removed his mask, revealing a face familiar to both Mar'i and Raven.
“Brody!?” Mar'i exclaimed, her surprise echoing through the clearing as she stared at the boy who had once hobbled through their college classes with his leg in a cast.
The young man’s grin widened, his eyes sparkling with mischief and a hint of pride. “Actually, it’s Bart.”
 
○○ Ⓣ ○○
 
When Slade emerged from the shower, his skin was glistening with moisture, the water tracing the contours of his scars. He wrapped a stark white towel around his waist, and crossed the plush carpet to sit on the edge of the hotel room bed. He released a slow, deep breath; it was a good job the speedster kid arrived when he did. The notion of being stranded in an alien land or, worse, a different time had gnawed at him with a ferocity that was hard to admit. Without Bart’s intervention, every one of Slade’s meticulously crafted plans would have been utterly dashed.
Facing him, a wall-mounted mirror caught his rugged reflection. Drawn to his own image, Slade studied the scars that mapped his trials, the slick white hair that crowned his head, and the deep lines etched into his face. A familiar discomfort nagged at him, focusing his attention on his right eye. Unable to alleviate the irritation through the skin, Slade exhaled heavily and carefully removed the eye altogether. The movement, fluid and practised, spoke of years of adaptation.
He placed the prosthetic gently on the bed beside him and as he massaged the socket, a decades-old habit, his mind wandered. He wasn't accustomed to keeping the prosthetic in for extended periods. Showering with it had been an uncomfortable experiment in necessity - he didn't like it, but understood the importance of maintaining the facade. The Slade he would have people believe he was would have never lost an eye, because that Slade had led a life far from by the darker paths Slade had truthfully trodden.
His thoughts wandered to his brief time wielding the potent powers of Dove, and Slade felt a twinge of regret at their loss. The clarity and strength those powers had provided were intoxicating, yet he recognised that he had a more important goal, one he couldn’t compromise. His current role demanded not the accumulation of power but the perfection of his deceit, ensuring that all believed he was not the Slade Wilson they knew, but a Reawakened, more innocent doppelganger.
Now, with the glass eye resting beside him, Slade stared at his unmasked visage. Maintaining the myth of the noble Slade was critical. The ruthless mercenary, the World’s Deadliest Killer - those identities had to remain buried. The Titans had believed him enough to entrust him with divine powers, their faith a testament to his performance, but the game was far from over; in fact, it was entering its most critical phase.
 
 
Next: Return to normality in The New Titans #10