If someone knows meanings behind dreams or something please tell me I'd like to know
So in this dream is what I can only imagine is me and my friend but where older I have short upward parted hair with a van dyke kinda type of facial hair and my friend, let's call him trey has very long blonde hair and a beard and me and him are great friends but where in this town and over the town is a skyscraper high diving board that cowls over a quarter of the whole renaissance town like city this town had no high buildings and nun so ever compared to this diving board that hangs over it and this very diving board is made if thick wide wood almost as wide and long as a school bus well me and trey both come from diffrent kingdoms and maybe i mess up somewhere but im unsure some sort of altercation caused me to have his crown along with my own on my head and he chased me through the whole city until we reached the base of the diving board and climbed until we got the that top of it and it seems almost as high as the clouds when we finally reached the top it's like we forgot what we were fighting for with only the crown in my hand to be a reminder then we fought and the most wildest fight both me or him has ever fought before and then for some unexpected reason, he jumped off and plummeted falling over the city down to it and then knowing I'm still on the diving board I see everything from a different perspective as to him on brick ground on his side almost lying as if his stomach is hurting and he is vigorously shaking and it was like I could make only 2 choices, climb down the ladder too or jump as he did, and I don't know why but I jumped the wind on my face was so real almost feeling as if skin was getting peeled off my face with how fasr i was falling but at the same time it was also slow as if I was in a movie scene with literally the song "my tears are becoming a sea" playing as background music amd then the dream is over and id wake up Now this morning dozing off after staying up most of the night I had a dream of seeing my shadow grab him from his sides and pick him up violently as if I were to slam him down or some sort and idk I continuously have these strange dreams and if anyone can help me out even the slightest or at least tell me what you think of this pretty crazy story that would be great

Long story short and as much as it sucks to say, I haven't really experienced much of anything. I'm going to intentionally beat around the bush as to what category that "experience" falls under but I think most people should be able to figure it out lol. In other words (and if you play games), I'm a complete noob when it comes to all things girls. As for why those things haven't happened and why I want that to change.. There's a few reasons, but the main reason why I'm putting such an emphasis on this is because I'm a huge homebody and I don't go out much at all which makes it difficult to meet people. That's where Reddit comes in! The message I'm essentially trying to send is becoming physically and emotionally close with a girl is what I want the most. I want to experience it all; the laughs, excitement, curiosity, intimacy, hanging out, fun. Blame all the Disney movies I watched as a kid for that lol.
Finding someone would be a dream come true, but I'd love to find friends too if that's all you're looking for! Local or international, just let me know if that's what you want instead :) We could end up being really close friends and you'll introduce me to a friend who I end up being with? That may or may not be the plot from a romcom 🤔 So that means I definitely wouldn't be opposed to a relationship! I've obviously never been in one so I'm not exactly sure how to transition to that, haha. I totally wouldn't mind finding out, though :) Also someone to say good morning and night to, too. That would be the best even if it's incredibly cheesy.
Anyway, it could be someone with a lot of experience or someone with no experience like me, or introverted or not introverted, etc. I don't have a preference either way :) But if I were to be reaaally picky: they'd be sweet and down to earth because just cuddling on its own would be all kinds of cool. A bit about me: I'm shy, caring, kind, sweet and am normal in the weight and height categories. I want to say I'm cute in the looks department? 🙈 I'll let you decide that though lol. I think it's super fun learning about people through conversation so I'll leave the following hobbies section blank. Then again, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to give a small hint to something I love.. My username should provide clues to that! I Siriusly need to re-watch the movies again. Maybe with someone I meet through r4r?
Alright, I can't hold it in anymore. I pretty much like a little bit of everything. For example, when it comes to music, I go through Backstreet Boys phases to Disney song phases (Moana is awesome and I haven't even seen the movie 🙊) to something like Linkin Park, Paramore or 50 Cent. What I'm trying to say is I like a little bit of everything! So there's a good chance I'll like whatever you like when it comes to hobbies and interests and that means connecting with each other should be relatively natural/seamless. Or maybe that's wishful thinking on my part, haha.
I'm not the best with openers and if you're also in the same boat, then how about this: If you could have any superpower what would it be and how would you use it? Being out of this world smart like Tony Stark is an acceptable super poweanswer, by the way.
Hopefully my first impression is a good one! If anyone is even remotely interested, then just let me know and I'll get back to you asap!

I don't necessarily like venting to my family or the little friends I have anymore about this since I don't want them to know how weak of a person I am because this breakup killed me back when it first happened. This all basically starts in 2019, I had just graduated highschool, started college in the fall and was heading into 3 years of being with my at the time highschool bf, now ex, and things were kind of weird. Maybe it was the high emotions of being launched into adulthood or maybe I was going insane who knows, either way I started getting really depressed that summer. So many things were happening all at the same time like my cat dying/running away, losing friends, health issues, etc. and it felt like the order of my world was crashing down. I felt crazy because I also felt like a child with so much on my plate and to be quite honest I still do. I loved my ex boyfriend I really did and I still have some love for him present day but we had already had some tensions built up from previous matters that I started just piling and piling up in my head and there was only so much more I could take honestly. The first time he really broke a piece of me was when I had to go to a scholarship acceptance banquet and they completely fucked me over so I left crying and since I went there expecting to eat I left hungry so I went to get food and drove to see him after his shift and we ate in my car or more like he ate in my car while I cried and he kind of listened because in the middle of ranting he turned up the music in the car because "it was a good song", mind you I was still crying. After this anything he did that slightly pissed me off started getting added into my pile of grievances. Also in my eyes after we graduated from Highschool he did start to seem distant at times, one of the habits he grew was constantly being on his phone while on dates, sometimes even texting a girl I told him to block because I felt insecure. I know what you are probably thinking, another girl that just won't let her boyfriend have a chick friend. You know yea basically but one thing that got me really insecure is he would constantly play games with girls and be all chummy with them but when I asked to play it was always "maybe later" and well later never came except for one time when he asked me to play minecraft with him so I bought minecraft just to play,even though I know it gives me severe motion sickness, and we played for maybe 30 minutes until he was tired left and we never played again even when I asked for it. After a couple more incidents of him just not caring about my feelings I won't lie my eyes did start to wander off of him a little, I never acted on this because this really scared me due to being with my ex for so long and only knowing him and all I could think of was how could I possibly be so cruel and just leave him like that, so I continued to stay and at this time I still had the motivation to work things out. A couple months pass and I am still pretty depressed and suddenly I start having this feeling of no emotion at all. I feel like maybe this is what some might call desensitization but I haven't looked into it all that much. I felt like I couldn't feel happiness, sadness, anger, anxiety, basically any emotion I had ever encountered was now gone out of nowhere even love was gone. This loss of emotion affected everyone around me not just my ex, I literally didn't even love my parents, that is how bad it was. Our anniversary passes and I'm going through out it but we make it to 2020. Of course like most people this is where shit starts going south because well 2020 was the year of the pandemic. I'm in my second semester of freshman year and I'm still struggling internally without telling anyone about what I am going through mentally. Worst thing about this was that I could barely tell my ex about it because he in the past made fun of his best friend for having to be in a psych ward, which was another addition to the pile might I add. Due to the nature of him casting me and my emotions aside once the pandemic was in full swing I slowly implemented my way of casting him aside slowly but surely to give him a taste of his own medicine. Was this petty yea but did I do it... yea. So during the pandemic of course we would talk but I spent more time playing games, doing exercise/losing weight, and getting back into my hobbies. At this time I don't think it bothered him that much because I was still giving him his doses of attention and he was giving me mine so like whatever I suppose. But then at some point during this shift I remember being on snapchat after hours after he said he had gone to bed and checking where all my friends were on snapmaps, and thats when I see him in the middle of a parking lot alone around 2-3am in the morning. I start trying to make rational thoughts like maybe thats the last place he was when he opened snapchat before going home to bed so I just snap him out of curiosity and I can't remember what I said but it was something along the lines of "i cant sleep miss you send a pic" and he opens it right away and I really couldn't tell where he was in the picture. I open the snap map again and he's still in the parking lot and I ask him what he is doing and he just says trying to sleep. Obviously not.... To this day I don't know what was up with that, sometimes I want to think he was maybe getting weed or something late at night but lying to me because neither of us did substances of any kind at that time but I suspect he was cheating maybe. This was like a huge break in my sanity and after this I became even more distant and sometimes I wouldn't even text him during the day and sometimes he would do the same for me too. Something completely snapped in me a couple of weeks later and when he was hanging out with his friends I decided I needed to call a break. I think this is truly where I messed up and where things could've gone positively for me if I didn't do what I did next. We met up a day later and he was crying while I explained to him everything I had/was going through and how all the things he did were finally getting to me and I remember looking at him crying and feeling nothing but telling him it was a break and that I just needed time to think and that we would more than likely get back together. The beginning of this break was like heaven to me. I felt pure bliss and it felt like everything that was wrong had washed away in an instance. I remember sunbathing outside with my cousins maybe a day or two after that meet up and just being so happy about just breathing outside. I don't remember texting my ex that first week much as my dad had also gone through emergency surgery and I was dealing with that. Second week we started just checking up on eachother a little and third week I think is when we met up and I once again told him we would get back together soon and it didn't feel like a bad idea anymore to be honest. I genuinely think I just needed a little time and space. After that we saw eachother once a week and we'd just chill and talk and at some point we started getting physical with eachother again and genuinely I felt pretty good about getting back together this time around. One of the last times I spoke to him in a loving way I remember him not having his glasses on and telling him how glad I was to be able to see his eyes without glasses on and how pretty his green eyes were... Then the next week we broke up because I found him, in my opinion, emotionally cheating on me with someone over the internet, which he denied. The way I reacted to finding this out was crazy, I felt so insane and don't even understand all the things I said and did but I did them. I was pissed off at myself because there was no way I had let myself get vulnerable all over again with him and regaining my emotions just for him to fuck me over like that. I was utterly devastated, especially thinking that I couldve broken up with him and ended up emotionally okay but then I let him break up with me. This breakup was a huge rift in our circles, my friends hated him, his friends hated him and some of them even asked me out after this, which was weird and still is considering these people are still friends with him but I digress. Although at the time of our breakup he acted like there was potential for us dating again and how he would always have a place in his heart for me he actually moved on rather quickly to the person I caught him texting. Felt like I gave him so many chances but he gave me zero. If anyones gone through a breakup they know that deep sinking feeling straight in the chest. I felt that shit from June to November nonstop everyday. I was going insane being in my own body. I became anemic and developed an ED because of how little I was eating. My mom tells me about how when I slept in her and my dads room the first month she would watch me sleep because she could see how much of a toll the breakup took on me, she said it looked like my eyes had completely sunken in and that my collar bone looked like it was cutting through me. Basically I looked like a walking lifeless corpse was how bad I took it. I won't lie I stalked my ex hardcore the next couple months because I couldn't fathom him being so happy when I was in so much pain. Thankfully once my birthday arrived I didn't feel as bad anymore and I was able to celebrate with a smile on my face with my family. Once 2021 hit I vowed to let go and stop checking up on him and start living my life and it was honestly going really good... at first. Because once I stopped stalking him he decided to make multiple accounts to stalk me. I immediately knew it was him and I won't lie I entertained it, I enjoyed the attention I received from someone who now probably regretted his decision. I let it go on a little until I sabotaged it, because in my mind if I exposed him to his partner at the time maybe just maybe he would come back to me. WRONG COMPLETELY WRONG. He lied his way out of getting into trouble somehow after I confronted him and his partner at the time and it left me feeling more drained than ever. This time it started a downward spiral for me so bad that I had to start antidepressants and to this day I still take. Yet after all of this I still miss him. I know I am weak and stupid and everything else inbetween but that's just who I am. I hate myself for wasting my early twenties to being depressed over this but I can't do anything about it now. I've been single ever since and he's on his second partner now since me. I didn't start finding people attractive again until the middle of 2023 and since then I have entertained the idea of bumble and tinder but I cannot fathom it. I want an organic relationship with some new but sometimes I want lovers to enemies to lovers again with me ex idk. The only reason I'm venting about this was because I went on facebook and one of my friends memories had him in middle school in it and I lost it. Hope someone can be entertained by my stupid love story or maybe someone can feel not so alone in this evil love filled world.
also I kept some things out because I don't want to embarrass myself more than I already have

Hi!
Just a girl out on the East Coast looking for a connection that would lead to a relationship and hopefully more! Then hopefully kids! Hopefully!? I will relocate for the right person with no issues!
Let me cook for you, clean for you. Love you, cherish you. Hell you can do it for me too if ya want!
I can talk for days-let’s talk and fall in love!!
I love the mountains and lakes and any beaches, being on a boat or on water is pretty fun and relaxing! Traveling in general is pretty great! I’ve traveled some would definitely love to do more. Ask me about it sometime!
My hobbies include everything. If you want to do it I will probably do it to or try it if I have never! I do really base my interests in cooking, baking, and recently collecting cook books! If you have a good recommendation do tell!
I am a little bit nerdy! I do play one singular game (RS3 ☺️) online and it’s considerably consumed portions of the last 15-18 years of my life haha! I have watched SOME anime, started out well in Studio Ghibli realm and started to look at some other things. I do enjoy going to cons, and just appreciating everyone’s enthusiasm towards cosplay and the nerd/geek world!
I really enjoy some softer melodic EDM music, I do like other genres as well pop, rock, alternative, hip hop, some country not a whole lot, live music in any genre is a great time! I’m a blend of it all I’ve gone through a few phases ha!
I am truly very open minded with my partner, I can do any height, race, etc. I’m definitely not religious, I used to be a very serious Christian non-denomination but the church I frequented burned me and my mentality towards church so I haven’t been or heavy politically I see a lot of people requesting that. It just isn’t for me. I will stay informed of course as well as vote, but I don’t center everything and every part of my life around it. I’m extremely laid back and go with the flow. Any other questions feel free to message me!
About my physical looks, 5’7.5, long black hair, curvier side, half southeast asian, half white.
You please have some experience understanding what it means to pursue and be in a relationship. Open to having kids, if you have some, that’s okay too! Between the ages of 27ish-37ish. Self confidence is attractive, have some of that, we all have our insecurities but don’t let it absolve you.
If we do click, I do have discord. Hope to hear from youuuuu!

I matched with a someone on an app and based on previous experiences, was not expecting much. I never have fun using dating apps. They stress me out and are horrible for self esteem, but at the same time, I like the convenience of them and theres a comfort to feeling like you have more control and having rejection be silent. Also at my age (24 m), dating apps are the standard and my dating history is very limited so it's kinda all I know.
The small talk started and I took it easy. It continued on smoothly and the vibe was there. Didn't dry up at all. As the days went on the conversation became very candid. She was an open book, which made me feel comfortable opening up more. It was the most fulfilling "talking stage" I had had. Growing connection and fondness can be hard to detect through text on a screen but this was an instance where even my dumb ass could tell it was there and reciprocal. I was really starting to enjoy this new person in a genuine way, she felt the same, and we expressed that to each other. And this was new for me
The date we had planned came up and it went as expected. We talked late into the night about the same topics as before, mundane to jokes to deep. The spark I thought might have been there was a little more confirmed. It was also even more open now that we were in person. We reflected the next day and both seemed to be looking forward to doing it again. A couple of days later though, she was under the weather and suddenly became hard to reach. I gave some space for a few days, but the space turned into an insecure mix of fear of ghosts and actual worry for her, so I took a deep breath and checked on her. (This was the first reaction of mine that in retrospect indicated the potentially unhealthy nature of all of this)
I got back a long message where there were a few things expressed:

1. She realized she needs space to work thru her past trauma more
2. She thanked me for connecting with her and making her feel good
3. Shes unsure if we'll ever connect again

For some background, she had told me a lot about a pretty turbulent life, was very personal-development minded, and always said she was grateful that I listened. She described coming a long way
It was probably as mature and pleasant as she could have made it and was full of kind words. I respected that she was so upfront about this. It hurt a lot to read but only thing I could really do in response was let her know I respected it, thank her back, and wish her the best with hopes that we meet again one day. No contact since.
I guess if this made sense, that would be the end of it and I would just be onto the next but it has not at all been that way, at least on my end. She was on my mind a lot in the short ~month long interaction (which flattered her at the time), but that kept momentum after cutting contact, only growing with intensity. I tried to be generous to myself and acknowledge that I was feeling new feelings and that those feelings can't just be shut off all at once. Time rolled on though and it got harder to keep that going as it became clear I was just trying, rather unstably, to balance the need to accept that this is most likely over and the desire to hold onto hope that it's just on pause. I read that last message multiple times and as much as I appreciated everything else, I wasn't able to eke any closure out of it. Whether it was genuinely hard to interpret or I was just convincing myself that it was open ended, I was driving myself crazy whenever I thought about how to move forward from this.
It's been like 6+ months and I'm kind of at the same point. I wouldn't say my life outside of this aspect has been too affected motion wise. If anything the everything else has been pretty satisfactory, but the stuck/uncertain/empty feeling seeps out sometimes. At times I feel embarrassed or immature for still feeling this way about such a small thing, and that's the reason I haven't really talked about it to anyone in my life. I did research and learned that I'm "limerent" for her. That term has really put into perspective how I've responded to this.
It's obviously an harmful state to stay in. I also really hate that this whole positive and negative "balance" I've been doing turns someone's self improvement into some kind of key to thing I want, when the first thing (whatever the outcome of the second) should be the focus. As I reflect a bit it makes me realize that I have stuff I need to deal with myself, beyond this.
Eventually I want to be done with this, get closure if it falls in my lap and/or move on. I can't move on right now because I have the fear of my hopes somehow becoming true and making me regret doing so. Even if that's delusional, the very fact that it actually stops me itself is enough indication I'm not ready. I want to shut off the daydreaming and move towards getting what I daydream about even if its not exactly the same.
This was a very long drawn out catharsis and sorry about that, but if any one has advice, I would appreciate. What are some general methods for moving on? I am definitely considering therapy, because I think this is all just an iceberg tip of other things deep down that I have also thought about lately. Also been making an effort to keep up with my hobbies, especially music which helps a lot with letting things out. Anyone ever been in a similar situation, and how did it go for you? Am I being too hard on my self or too gentle?
Thanks for reading
Tl;dr I matched with someone on an dating app, we had a great connection, had one date, and later she told me she isn't ready yet to date due to trauma she's still working on. We cut contact but I haven't been able to move on for months and it's made me realize I also need time to work on stuff

My son is almost 4 years old, I've struggled with his sleep from day one. He struggles to fall asleep/calm down and will not stay in his room without me there. Once he's asleep it's anywhere from 1-6 hours and his in my room asking for me.
I feel like ice literally tried everything and my next option is to move his room to the spare room and see if be likes it better??? Things I've tried are: Bedtime routine - dinner bath book bed White noise Defuser with lavender Audio books and relaxing music Night light Lamp on Cry it out I've tried going in and out so he knows I'm still there Melatonin Magnesium
Please if you have any other suggestions help a mum out 🙏🙏

I have heard more than one person use Ka for snare drum. Just wondering if there is a formal universal pronounciation for each component of the kit. I guess the purpose would be for sight reading where you can practice the rhythms as you are reading for the first time, but not actually hitting any drums. Or perhaps practicing a section of a song on sheet music in a quiet, fornal place where it would be socially unacceptable to be beating on a drum kit.
Basically what are the vocalizations commonly used for hi hat, open hi hat, toms, crash, ride , kick etc Is it universally established onomatopoeia or people just spewing what comes to them intuitively. Like saying "doom" for a tom or kick.
Thanks for answering !!!!

Hi, I'm a composer, currently writing music for a film and had a rather cliche idea for the music - spoiler alert; it includes the heartbeat monitor.
the movie has a sick early-teenager girl, accidentally being fed 2 pills instead of 1, and everything seems alright until about... 3 minutes later, which is when she slowly falls asleep. there's no info on when she actually dies as she's left alone.
there's no info on what the drug is or what the illness is. she looks perfectly normal and at home.
my idea includes a violin playing 1 short note roughly every 1.33 seconds throughout the entire film, representing an imaginary heart monitor. eventually when she dies, it turns into a long sustained note (followed by other instruments and then it turns into music) and the rest is history.
my question is, how do you think the "heart monitor violin" should sound, rhythm-wise? how off-beat would it naturally be? does it ever do like... double hits at any point? should it get faster after medicine OD or slower? should it keep getting faster until she's unconscious? does it get slower AFTER she's unconscious?
my goal is that when folks like you watch the film and notice the intention, you wouldn't find it to be some annoying unrealistic depiction of how the body works.

It is said that over time, everyone will switch to BTC/KAS to escape the devaluation of our fiat currencies that make us poorer. Trust in BTC/KAS will become higher than even the dollar, and as a result, the dollar will fall into a negative trust spiral, hyperinflate, and eventually disappear as it's no longer needed when we have a global currency.
However, fiat is a debt-based currency, and in this text, we use the world's reserve currency when talking about fiat for simplicity. This means that new money is created when someone takes out a loan, whether it be individuals, companies, or states. There is an existing amount of money, and new credit is constantly created, resulting in both a stock and a flow. Thus, we get a simple stock-to-flow model that reflects the dollar's devaluation over time. Loans are taken for investments like cars, houses, or businesses on an individual level. These are taken to somehow improve life: a car for transportation, a house for living but also long-term savings, and businesses for cash flow. All loans have interest; the interest reflects the hardness of the dollar. Low interest gives higher flow, and high interest gives lower flow.
The largest investments in the world go to real estate, bonds, and global companies.
Real estate is the largest investment, with the highest stock-to-flow, the highest balance in supply and demand, and high cost of production calculated in both money and time, which means that value is maintained over time and prices rise at the same rate as the dollar's stock-to-flow. Rents also create cash flow that goes to maintenance, mortgages, interest payments, and new investments. Real estate does not create much efficiency in the monetary system, but it has a high utility value.
Company stocks, especially those focused on technology and innovation, create much efficiency in society and the total monetary ecosystem. Growth companies grow faster than market-weighted indexes, while these indexes generally move at the same pace as the dollar's stock-to-flow (like S&P / M2). This means there is equilibrium between the dollar's devaluation and the total system's efficiency improvement over time, with efficiency being somewhat stronger over time.
Our loans go to investments that increase efficiency, reducing costs at the same pace as the dollar's devaluation while central banks' primary goal is to maintain 2% CPI inflation to keep stability and confidence in the currency as high as possible, and at the same time, forcing the pursuit of efficiency.
But what happens when Bitcoin/Kaspa becomes more valuable to invest in and simply hold on the balance sheet than investments in real estate and stocks and their store of value and cash flow together? What happens when companies choose to invest in these monetary protocols instead of investments in their own organizations' efficiency improvements?
This shift has already begun and was always inevitable. We create credit and contribute to devaluation but invest in Bitcoin and Kaspa instead of the natural innovations and efficiencies the system requires.
The dollar's only choice is to harden with higher interest rates to curb the unbalanced market where devaluation is higher than the decreasing efficiency increase. The hardness and interest rates will continue to rise until the dollar meets Bitcoin's hardness, where equilibrium is achieved.
At this point, if a state tries to devalue its currency to compete with other currencies, the BTC/KAS price in relation to the currency will increase by the same measure immediately.
This is the result of what hyperbitcoinization/hyperkaspanization becomes. The same game theory that makes these protocols honest forces fiat currencies around the world to also become honest. So, taking loans and "shorting fiat" to buy BTC/KAS will work in the beginning but, like everything else, will become unsustainable in the long run. There is no infinite wealth machine that lasts forever.
This creates a fairer world. Global monetary protocols large enough to keep the biggest of powers in check. Boom and bust cycles become longer, slower, and smoother. But unemployment may become higher for a while with associated chaos when the shift occurs.
Whether Bitcoin, Kaspa, or something else becomes the final protocol that wins doesn't really matter. These protocols are honest and force everyone to play by the same rules worldwide.
If you like the text i would be thankful for some spreading on X.
https://x.com/Themooseisloos5/status/1799728634183512233?t=w8fAjvIF67IYf27FUqgZFQ&s=19

Twitter post by Caitlin Johnstone
https://x.com/caitoz/status/1799411441193435525
"Everything about Israel is fake. It’s a completely synthetic nation created without any regard for the organic sociopolitical movements of the land and its people, slapped rootless atop an ancient pre-existing civilization with deep roots. That’s why it cannot exist without being artificially propped up by nonstop propaganda, lobbying, online influence operations, and mass military violence.
Israel is so fake that its far right minister of national security Itamar Ben-Gvir has been stoking religious tensions by encouraging militant Zionists to pray on the Temple Mount — known to Muslims as Al-Aqsa. This is an illustration of how phony Israel and its political ideology are because Jews were historically prohibited from praying at the Temple Mount under Jewish law; a sign placed there in 1967 and still upheld by Israel’s Chief Rabbinate reads, “According to Torah Law, entering the Temple Mount area is strictly forbidden due to the holiness of the site.” It’s just this weird, evangelical Christian-like thing that Zionists have started doing in contravention of their own traditions and religious texts to advance their nationalist agendas.
Journalist Dan Cohen explains on Twitter:
“ ‘Prayer’ on the Temple Mount is 100% a Zionist invention in total contravention of Jewish law. Jews don’t step foot onto the Temple Mount, let alone 'pray' there. That’s why the sign below is posted at the entrance non-Muslims use.
“Ben Gvir publicly announced this in order to provoke a reaction to use as a pretext to restrict and expel Muslims from the site, explode Jerusalem and the West Bank, and expand the regional war.
“Ben Gvir holds Netanyahu hostage. Together, they’re leading Israel to self-destruction.”
There’s no authentic spirituality in such behavior. It has no roots. No depth. No connection. It’s the product of busy minds with modern agendas, with nothing more to it than that.
Israel is so fake that Zionists artificially resurrected a dead language in order for its people to have a common “native” tongue for them to speak, so that they could all LARP as indigenous middle easterners together in their phony, synthetic country.
Israel has no real culture of its own; it’s all a mixture of organic Jewish culture brought in from other parts of the world by the Jewish diaspora, culture that was stolen from Palestinians (see “Israeli food”), and the culture of indoctrinated genocidal hatred that is interwoven with the fabric of modern Zionism. The way Israel has become a Mecca of electronic dance music points clearly to an aching cultural void that its people are trying desperately to fill with empty synthetic pop fluff.
Even international support for Israel is fake, manufactured astroturf that has to be enforced from the top down, because it would never organically occur to anyone that Israel is something that should be supported.
The phenomenally influential Israel lobby is used to push pro-Israel foreign policy in powerful western governments like Washington and London. Just yesterday US Representative Thomas Massie told Tucker Carlson that every Republican in Congress besides himself “has an AIPAC person” assigned to them with whom they are in constant communication, who he describes as functioning “like your babysitter” with regard to lawmaking on the subject of Israel.
The Israel lobby exists with the full consent of the western imperial war machine and its secretive intelligence cartel, because western military support for Israel is also phony and fraudulent. The western empire whose strategic interests directly benefit from violence and radicalism in the middle east pretends it’s constantly expanding its military presence in the region in order to promote stability and protect an important ally, but in reality this military presence simply allows for greater control over crucial resource-rich territories whose populations would otherwise unite to form a powerful bloc acting in their own interests. The Israel lobby is a self-funding consent manufacturer which helps the empire do what it already wants to do.
Support for Israel in the media is also phony and imposed from the top down. Since October outlets like The New York Times, CNN and CBC have been finding themselves fighting off scandals due to staff leaks about demands from their executives that they slant their Gaza coverage to benefit the information interests of Israel. Briahna Joy Gray was just fired by The Hill for being critical of Israel as co-host of the show “Rising”, a fate that all mass media employees understand they will share if they are insufficiently supportive of the empire’s favorite ethnostate.
Israel’s support from celebrities is similarly forced. A newly leaked email from influential Hollywood marketing and branding guru Ashlee Margolis instructs her firm’s employees to “pause on working with any celebrity or influencer or tastemaker posting against Israel.” As we discussed recently, celebrities are also naturally disincentivized from criticizing any aspect of the western empire by the fact that their status is dependent on wealthy people whose wealth is premised upon the imperial status quo.
Support for Israel on social media is likewise notoriously phony. For years Israel has been pioneering the use of social media trolls to swarm Israel’s critics and promote agendas like undermining the BDS movement. After the beginning of the Gaza onslaught Israel spent millions on PR spin via advertising on YouTube, Instagram and Facebook, and The New York Times has just confirmed earlier reports that Israel has been targeting US lawmakers with fake social media accounts to influence their policymaking on Israel.
In truth, nobody really organically supports Israel. If they’re not supporting it because their lobbyists and employers told them to, they’re supporting it because that’s what they were told to support by the leaders of their dopey political ideologies like Zionism, liberalism and conservatism, or by the leaders of their dopey religions like Christian fundamentalism. It’s always something that’s pushed on people from the top down, rather than arising from within themselves due to their own natural interests and ideals.
Israel is not a country, it’s like a fake movie set version of a country. A movie set where the set pieces won’t even stand up on their own, so people are always running around in a constant state of construction trying to prop things up and nail things down, and scrambling to pick up things that are falling over, and rotating the set pieces so that they look like real buildings in front of the camera. Without this constant hustle and bustle of propagandizing, lobbying, online influence ops, and nonstop mass military violence, the whole movie set would fall over, and people would see all the film crew members and actors and cameras for what they are.
Clearly, no part of this is sustainable. Clearly, something’s going to have to give. Those set pieces are going to come toppling down sooner or later; it’s just a question of when, and of how high the pile of human corpses needs to be before it happens."

Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory

Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.

All Buyouts are listed in cash value.

KNIVES

★ Butterfly Knife Lore (Factory New), B/O: $7194.77

★ Butterfly Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2025.74

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★ M9 Bayonet Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $557.87

★ M9 Bayonet Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $529.41

★ M9 Bayonet Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $465.39

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★ Talon Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $1295.27

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth (Minimal Wear), B/O: $746.28

★ Karambit Bright Water (Field-Tested), B/O: $688.15

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★ Flip Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $547.93

★ Flip Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $476.69

★ Flip Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $278.18

★ Flip Knife Black Laminate (Well-Worn), B/O: $258.83

★ Flip Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $181.64

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★ Stiletto Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $686.04

★ Stiletto Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $665.41

★ Stiletto Knife, B/O: $601.39

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $418.25

★ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $227.80

★ Stiletto Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.96

★ Stiletto Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $192.79

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★ Nomad Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $518.11

★ Nomad Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $169.78

★ Nomad Knife Forest DDPAT (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $166.88

★ StatTrak™ Nomad Knife Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $335.79

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★ Skeleton Knife Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $442.05

★ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Minimal Wear), B/O: $426.24

★ Skeleton Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $314.03

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2361.28

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $376.53

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★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $557.12

★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $471.42

★ Ursus Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $212.37

★ Ursus Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $187.66

★ Ursus Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $178.18

★ Ursus Knife Ultraviolet (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $155.13

★ Ursus Knife Boreal Forest (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.26

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★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Minimal Wear), B/O: $204.83

★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Field-Tested), B/O: $184.50

★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Lore (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $224.11

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★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $2142.02

★ Bowie Knife, B/O: $230.44

★ Bowie Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $209.20

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.51

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

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★ Falchion Knife Night (Field-Tested), B/O: $132.54

★ Falchion Knife Urban Masked (Well-Worn), B/O: $112.81

★ Falchion Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $108.81

★ Falchion Knife Forest DDPAT (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.82

★ Falchion Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.46

★ StatTrak™ Falchion Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $143.08

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★ Paracord Knife Crimson Web (Minimal Wear), B/O: $486.48

★ Paracord Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $163.12

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★ Survival Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $138.26

★ Survival Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

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★ Gut Knife Sapphire (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1127.79

★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $286.17

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $246.55

★ Gut Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $240.77

★ Gut Knife, B/O: $210.49

★ Gut Knife Lore (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.22

★ Gut Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $151.51

★ Gut Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.94

★ Gut Knife Rust Coat (Well-Worn), B/O: $118.99

★ Gut Knife Boreal Forest (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.80

★ StatTrak™ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $237.96

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★ Shadow Daggers Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $264.92

★ Shadow Daggers Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $253.03

★ Shadow Daggers Tiger Tooth (Factory New), B/O: $237.22

★ Shadow Daggers Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.40

★ Shadow Daggers Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $144.42

★ Shadow Daggers Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $105.20

★ StatTrak™ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $150.46

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★ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $365.99

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $228.93

★ Navaja Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $227.43

★ Navaja Knife Slaughter (Factory New), B/O: $209.06

★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $203.16

★ Navaja Knife Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $132.57

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $121.69

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.95

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $100.41

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $369.01

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $109.95

GLOVES

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2394.67

★ Sport Gloves Omega (Well-Worn), B/O: $572.33

★ Sport Gloves Bronze Morph (Minimal Wear), B/O: $338.88

★ Sport Gloves Big Game (Field-Tested), B/O: $323.66

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★ Specialist Gloves Marble Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1652.07

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike (Field-Tested), B/O: $599.14

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web (Well-Worn), B/O: $231.57

★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot (Minimal Wear), B/O: $126.21

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★ Moto Gloves POW! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $996.99

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Field-Tested), B/O: $383.31

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Well-Worn), B/O: $276.00

★ Moto Gloves Turtle (Field-Tested), B/O: $180.28

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★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $502.29

★ Hand Wraps Giraffe (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.73

★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $178.32

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★ Driver Gloves Queen Jaguar (Minimal Wear), B/O: $181.01

★ Driver Gloves Rezan the Red (Field-Tested), B/O: $101.66

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★ Broken Fang Gloves Jade (Field-Tested), B/O: $127.88

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.55

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★ Bloodhound Gloves Guerrilla (Minimal Wear), B/O: $127.94

★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened (Field-Tested), B/O: $102.55

WEAPONS

AK-47 X-Ray (Well-Worn), B/O: $478.95

AUG Hot Rod (Factory New), B/O: $425.83

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Hyper Beast (Factory New), B/O: $413.95

M4A4 Daybreak (Factory New), B/O: $309.51

StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge (Factory New), B/O: $305.43

AK-47 Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $196.38

StatTrak™ M4A4 Temukau (Minimal Wear), B/O: $174.64

P90 Run and Hide (Field-Tested), B/O: $167.03

AWP Asiimov (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.33

Souvenir SSG 08 Death Strike (Minimal Wear), B/O: $140.00

M4A1-S Printstream (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.70

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Golden Coil (Field-Tested), B/O: $117.48

AWP Asiimov (Well-Worn), B/O: $115.97

StatTrak™ Desert Eagle Printstream (Minimal Wear), B/O: $112.96

StatTrak™ AK-47 Asiimov (Minimal Wear), B/O: $110.85

Souvenir M4A1-S Master Piece (Well-Worn), B/O: $102.42

AK-47 Bloodsport (Minimal Wear), B/O: $100.53

Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory

Knives - Bowie Knife, Butterfly Knife, Falchion Knife, Flip Knife, Gut Knife, Huntsman Knife, M9 Bayonet, Bayonet, Karambit, Shadow Daggers, Stiletto Knife, Ursus Knife, Navaja Knife, Talon Knife, Classic Knife, Paracord Knife, Survival Knife, Nomad Knife, Skeleton Knife, Patterns - Gamma Doppler, Doppler (Phase 1, Phase 2, Phase 3, Phase 4, Black Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald), Crimson Web, Lore, Fade, Ultraviolet, Night, Marble Fade (Fire & Ice, Fake FI), Case Hardened (Blue Gem), Autotronic, Slaughter, Black Laminate, Tiger Tooth, Boreal Forest, Scorched, Blue Steel, Vanilla, Damascus Steel, Forest DDPAT, Urban Masked, Freehand, Stained, Bright Water, Safari Mesh, Rust Coat, Gloves - Bloodhound Gloves (Charred, Snakebite, Guerrilla, Bronzed), Driver Gloves (Snow Leopard, King Snake, Crimson Weave, Imperial Plaid, Black Tie, Lunar Weave, Diamondback, Rezan the Red, Overtake, Queen Jaguar, Convoy, Racing Green), Hand Wraps (Cobalt Skulls, CAUTION!, Overprint, Slaughter, Leather, Giraffe, Badlands, Spruce DDPAT, Arboreal, Constrictor, Desert Shamagh, Duct Tape), Moto Gloves (Spearmint, POW!, Cool Mint, Smoke Out, Finish Line, Polygon, Blood Pressure, Turtle, Boom!, Eclipse, 3rd Commando Company, Transport), Specialist Gloves (Crimson Kimono, Tiger Strike, Emerald Web, Field Agent, Marble Fade, Fade, Foundation, Lt. Commander, Crimson Web, Mogul, Forest DDPAT, Buckshot), Sport Gloves (Pandora's Box, Superconductor, Hedge Maze, Vice, Amphibious, Slingshot, Omega, Arid, Big Game, Nocts, Scarlet Shamagh, Bronze Morph), Hydra Gloves (Case Hardened, Emerald, Rattler, Mangrove), Broken Fang Gloves (Jade, Yellow-banded, Unhinged, Needle Point), Pistols - P2000 (Wicked Sick, Ocean Foam, Fire Element, Amber Fade, Corticera, Chainmail, Imperial Dragon, Obsidian, Scorpion, Handgun, Acid Etched), USP-S (Printstream, Kill Confirmed, Whiteout, Road Rash, Owergrowth, The Traitor, Neo-Noir, Dark Water, Orion, Blueprint, Stainless, Caiman, Serum, Monster Mashup, Royal Blue, Ancient Visions, Cortex, Orange Anolis, Ticket To Hell, Black Lotus, Cyrex, Check Engine, Guardian, Purple DDPAT, Torque, Blood Tiger, Flashback, Business Class, Pathfinder, Para Green), Lead Conduit, Glock-18 (Ramese's Reach, Umbral Rabbit, Fade, Candy Apple, Bullet Queen, Synth Leaf, Neo-Noir, Nuclear Garden, Dragon Tatto, Reactor, Pink DDPAT, Twilight Galaxy, Sand Dune, Groundwater, Blue Fissure, Snack Attack, Water Elemental, Brass, Wasteland Rebel, Vogue, Franklin, Royal Legion, Gamma Doppler, Weasel, Steel Disruption, Ironwork, Grinder, High Beam, Moonrise, Oxide Blaze, Bunsen Burner, Clear Polymer, Bunsen Burner, Night), P250 (Apep's Curse, Re.built, Nuclear Threat, Modern Hunter, Splash, Whiteout, Vino Primo, Mehndi, Asiimov, Visions, Undertow, Cartel, See Ya Later, Gunsmoke, Splash, Digital Architect, Muertos, Red Rock, Bengal Tiger, Crimson Kimono, Wingshot, Metallic DDPAT, Hive, Dark Filigree, Mint Kimono), Five-Seven (Neon Kimono, Berries And Cherries, Fall Hazard, Crimson Blossom, Hyper Beast, Nitro, Fairy Tale, Case Hardened, Copper Galaxy, Angry Mob, Monkey Business, Fowl Play, Anodized Gunmetal, Hot Shot, Retrobution, Boost Protocol), CZ75-Auto (Chalice, Crimson Web, Emerald Quartz, The Fuschia is Now, Nitro, Xiangliu, Yellow Jacket, Victoria, Poison Dart, Syndicate, Eco, Hexane, Pole, Tigris), Tec-9 (Mummy's Rot, Rebel, Terrace, Nuclear Threat, Hades, Rust Leaf, Decimator, Blast From, Orange Murano, Toxic, Fuel Injector, Remote Control, Bamboo Forest, Isaac, Avalanche, Brother, Re-Entry, Blue Titanium, Bamboozle), R8 Revolver (Banana Cannon, Fade, Blaze, Crimson Web, Liama Cannon, Crazy 8, Reboot, Canal Spray, Night, Amber Fade), Desert Eagle (Blaze, Hand Cannon, Fennec Fox, Sunset Storm, Emerald Jörmungandr, Pilot, Hypnotic, Golden Koi, Printstream, Cobalt Disruption, Code Red, Ocean Drive, Midnight Storm, Kumicho Dragon, Crimson Web, Heirloom, Night Heist, Mecha Industries, Night, Conspiracy, Trigger Discipline, Naga, Directive, Light Rail), Dual Berettas (Flora Carnivora, Duelist, Cobra Strike, Black Limba, Emerald, Hemoglobin, Twin Turbo, Marina, Melondrama, Pyre, Retribution, Briar, Dezastre, Royal Consorts, Urban Shock, Dualing Dragons, Panther, Balance), Rifles - Galil (Aqua Terrace, Winter Forest, Chatterbox, Sugar Rush, Pheonix Blacklight, CAUTION!, Orange DDPAT, Cerberus, Dusk Ruins, Eco, Chromatic Aberration, Stone Cold, Tuxedo, Sandstorm, Shattered, Urban Rubble, Rocket Pop, Kami, Crimson Tsunami, Connexion), SCAR-20 (Fragments, Brass, Cyrex, Palm, Splash Jam, Cardiac, Emerald, Crimson Web, Magna Carta, Stone Mosaico, Bloodsport, Enforcer), AWP (Black Nile, Duality, Gungnir, Dragon Lore, Prince, Medusa, Desert Hydra, Fade, Lightning Strike, Oni Taiji, Silk Tiger, Graphite, Chromatic Aberration, Asiimov, Snake Camo, Boom, Containment Breach, Wildfire, Redline, Electric Hive, Hyper Beast, Neo-Noir, Man-o'-war, Pink DDPAT, Corticera, Sun in Leo, Elite Build, Fever Dream, Atheris, Mortis, PAW, Exoskeleton, Worm God, POP AWP, Phobos, Acheron, Pit Viper, Capillary, Safari Mesh), AK-47 (Steel Delta, Head Shot, Wild Lotus, Gold Arabesque, X-Ray, Fire Serpent, Hydroponic, Panthera Onca, Case Hardened, Vulcan, Jet Set, Fuel Injector, Bloodsport, Nightwish, First Class, Neon Rider, Asiimov, Red Laminate, Aquamarine Revenge, The Empress, Wasteland Rebel, Jaguar, Black Laminate, Leet Museo, Neon Revolution, Redline, Frontside Misty, Predator, Legion of Anubis, Point Disarray, Orbit Mk01, Blue Laminate, Green Laminate, Emerald Pinstripe, Cartel, Phantom Disruptor, Jungle Spray, Safety Net, Rat Rod, Baroque Purple, Slate, Elite Build, Uncharted, Safari Mesh), FAMAS (Waters of Nephthys, Sundown, Prime Conspiracy, Afterimage, Commemoration, Dark Water, Spitfire, Pulse, Eye of Athena, Meltdown, Rapid Eye Move, Roll Cage, Styx, Mecha Industrie, Djinn, ZX Spectron, Valence, Neural Net, Night Borre, Hexne), M4A4 (Eye of Horus, Temukau, Howl, Poseidon, Asiimov, Daybreak, Hellfire, Zirka, Red DDPAT, Radiation Hazard, Modern Hunter, The Emperor, The Coalition, Bullet Rain, Cyber Security, X-Ray, Dark Blossom, Buzz Kill, In Living Color, Neo-Noir, Desolate Space, 龍王 (Dragon King), Royal Paladin, The Battlestar, Global Offensive, Tooth Fairy, Desert-Strike, Griffin, Evil Daimyo, Spider Lily, Converter), M4A1-S (Emphorosaur-S, Welcome to the Jungle, Imminent Danger, Knight, Hot Rod, Icarus Fell, Blue Phosphor, Printstream, Master Piece, Dark Water, Golden Coil, Bright Water, Player Two, Atomic Alloy, Guardian, Chantico's Fire, Hyper Beast, Mecha Industries, Cyrex, Control Panel, Moss Quartz, Nightmare, Decimator, Leaded Glass, Basilisk, Blood Tiger, Briefing, Night Terror, Nitro, VariCamo, Flashback), SG 553 (Cyberforce, Hazard Pay, Bulldozer, Integrale, Dragon Tech, Ultraviolet, Colony IV, Hypnotic, Cyrex, Candy Apple, Barricade, Pulse), SSG 08 (Death Strike, Sea Calico, Blood in the Water, Orange Filigree, Dragonfire, Big Iron, Bloodshot, Detour, Turbo Peek, Red Stone), AUG (Akihabara Accept, Flame Jörmungandr, Hot Rod, Midnight Lily, Sand Storm, Carved Jade, Wings, Anodized Navy, Death by Puppy, Torque, Bengal Tiger, Chameleon, Fleet Flock, Random Access, Momentum, Syd Mead, Stymphalian, Arctic Wolf, Aristocrat, Navy Murano), G3SG1 (Chronos, Violet Murano, Flux, Demeter, Orange Kimono, The Executioner, Green Apple, Arctic Polar Camo, Contractor), SMGs - P90 (ScaraB Rush, Neoqueen, Astral Jörmungandr, Run and Hide, Emerald Dragon, Cold Blooded, Death by Kitty, Baroque Red, Vent Rush, Blind Spot, Asiimov, Trigon, Sunset Lily, Death Grip, Leather, Nostalgia, Fallout Warning, Tiger Pit, Schermatic, Virus, Shapewood, Glacier Mesh, Shallow Grave, Chopper, Desert Warfare), MAC-10 (Sakkaku, Hot Snakes, Copper Borre, Red Filigree, Gold Brick, Graven, Case Hardened, Stalker, Amber Fade, Neon Rider, Tatter, Curse, Propaganda, Nuclear Garden, Disco Tech, Toybox, Heat, Indigo), UMP-45 (Wild Child, Fade, Blaze, Day Lily, Minotaur's Labyrinth, Crime Scene, Caramel, Bone Pile, Momentum, Primal Saber), MP7 (Teal Blossom, Fade, Nemesis, Whiteout, Asterion, Bloosport, Abyssal Apparition, Full Stop, Special Delivery, Neon Ply, Asterion, Ocean Foam, Powercore, Scorched, Impire), PP-Bizon (Modern Hunter, Rust Coat, Forest Leaves, Antique, High Roller, Blue Streak, Seabird, Judgement of Anubis, Bamboo Print, Embargo, Chemical Green, Coblat Halftone, Fuel Rod, Photic Zone, Irradiated Alert, Carbon Fiber), MP9 (Featherweight, Wild Lily, Pandora's Box, Stained Glass, Bulldozer, Dark Age, Hot Rod, Hypnotic, Hydra, Rose Iron, Music Box, Setting Sun, Food Chain, Airlock, Mount Fuji, Starlight Protector, Ruby Poison Dart, Deadly Poison), MP5-SD (Liquidation, Oxide Oasis, Phosphor, Nitro, Agent, Autumn Twilly), Shotguns, Machineguns - Sawed-Off (Kiss♥Love, First Class, Orange DDPAT, Rust Coat, The Kraken, Devourer, Mosaico, Wasteland Princess, Bamboo Shadow, Copper, Serenity, Limelight, Apocalypto), XM1014 (Frost Borre, Ancient Lore, Red Leather, Elegant Vines, Banana Leaf, Jungle, Urban Perforated, Grassland, Blaze Orange, Heaven Guard, VariCamo Blue, Entombed, XOXO, Seasons, Tranquility, Bone Machine, Incinegator, Teclu Burner, Black Tie, Zombie Offensive, Watchdog), Nova (Sobek's Bite, Baroque Orange, Hyper Beast, Green Apple, Antique, Modern Hunter, Walnut, Forest Leaves, Graphite, Blaze Orange, Rising Skull, Tempest, Bloomstick, Interlock, Quick Sand, Moon in Libra, Clean Polymer, Red Quartz, Toy Soldier), MAG-7 (Copper Coated, Insomnia, Cinqueda, Counter Terrace, Prism Terrace, Memento, Chainmail, Hazard, Justice, Bulldozer, Silver, Core Breach, Firestarter, Praetorian, Heat, Hard Water, Monster Call, BI83 Spectrum, SWAG-7), M249 (Humidor, Shipping Forecast, Blizzard Marbleized, Downtown, Jungle DDPAT, Nebula Crusader, Impact Drill, Emerald Poison Dart), Negev (Mjölnir, Anodized Navy, Palm, Power Loader, Bratatat, CaliCamo, Phoenix Stencil, Infrastructure, Boroque Sand), Wear - Factory New (FN), Minimal Wear (MW), Field-Tested (FT), Well-Worn (WW), Battle-Scarred (BS), Stickers Holo/Foil/Gold - Katowice 2014, Krakow 2017, Howling Dawn, Katowice 2015, Crown, London 2018, Cologne 2014, Boston 2018, Atlanta 2017, Cluj-Napoca 2015, DreamHack 2014, King on the Field, Harp of War, Winged Difuser, Cologne 2016, Cologne 2015, MLG Columbus 2016, Katowice 2019, Berlin 2019, RMR 2020, Stockholm 2021, Antwerp 2022, Paris 2023, Swag Foil, Flammable foil, Others - Souvenirs, Agents, Pins, Passes, Gifts, Music Kits, Cases, Keys, Capsules, Packages, Patches

Some items on the list may no longer be available or are still locked, visit My Inventory for more details.

Send a Trade Offer for fastest response. I consider all offers.

Add me for discuss if there is a serious offer that needs to be discussed.

TLDR: Cashed out my 401k. Spent $10k planning a trip. RINSED.
I want to post this as a warning for any prospective SDs who struggle like me with self esteem, self confidence, self worth and are “nice guys”. I guess I’m venting here, I am alone and have no one in my life to talk to about this, and I am hoping by writing this it gives me a clearer picture of just how I got here - what happened and what are the red flags I missed. If you are like me, I cannot implore you enough to get out of the bowl ASAP. It will leave you in a much worse position than when you joined. Just…like…me. I’m currently on that $10k trip in the RV right now by myself writing this. Where do I even begin?
I joined the bowl because I was not looking for anything too serious, tired of my age group of women in the vanilla world, and to help my confidence and self esteem. I was married to my ex wife for 12 years. She had a multi year long affair in which I forgave her the first time. She swore it was over - HINT: it wasn’t. Divorced the 2nd time. Dated a few girls vanilla with the last one being 10 months - and she wanting marriage and kids asap after me being honest and upfront about my future wants. No thank you.
Then I joined the bowl. Yikes - it was rough at first. Talked to a lot of women. The first one I met one actually robbed me and took off on our first date. I chalk that up to karma from acting like a John - I honestly just wanted to get the “first one” out of the way in the bowl before it’s someone I can see a longterm SR with. But there were so many red flags that I refused to see through at the time - and I promise you…you will miss the red flags too IF you are like me. Just hope you don’t get hurt and it’s just money.
But one SB always stuck out. We talked for a few weeks before we met. And when we met I was mesmerized. It’s not often you met someone that looks better than their pictures. A reverse catfish. We had a few platonic M&Gs. Got tested. I gifted her a low XXXX gift on our 2nd date. Sent her low XXXX before our 3rd date because she was moving and I wanted to help her. I wanted her to know I was serious. I had an issue with my initial STD test but got it resolved and we were supposed to make our SR official on our 3rd date. But - that night came and of course Murphy’s law - things failed spectacularly. We actually both posted about it on here believe it or not. But we worked through it. I tell her after this if I ever think she is going to bail leading up to this - I will just communicate with you and we can talk through it. She says good! This is important for later.
For the first 6 months we did PPM. And it was absolutely amazing. As beautiful as she was, I was completely falling for the girl on the inside. It seemed we always had an amazing time together. Even her. She said so. It seemed like it. And I foolishly let myself believe it. If you are like me…this will happen to you too. I never thought I would be able to fall in love after my marriage, and here I was falling in love with my SB. Never did I want that. It wasn’t my desire. I wasn’t expecting it. But damn - it felt so good just to know I could. I started trusting her. Slowly. More and more.
I remember I would consistently have some rough mornings at work. But damn the second I got that good morning text - things seemed to get instantly better. We actually spent Valentines Day together. Gifted her a laptop mid between 1-2 XXXX. I wanted her to know how much our first few months meant to me. What she gave me at the time was invaluable (if only it didn’t end up like it did). I am by no means a whale - and I didn’t even spoil my ex wife like I did with her.
Recently, in April, she told me she lost her job. She didn’t formally ask for anything. But I’ll be damned if I don’t give the shirt off my back to someone I love. She knew I would. She knew me. In retrospect, she preyed on my weakness. At this point I am unsure if she really even lost her job. I have no idea what to believe anymore. I have a major business financial situation approaching quickly so my financial situation is unfortunately dire. As in I’m going to have more debt than cash. It wasn’t the best time for her to lose her job. But that didn’t stop me. I tell her I will cash out one of my 401ks and provide her a mid XXXX allowance for May June and July. Ends up around thirteen thousand total to her. I ask if she would like it monthly or lump sum. I trust her. Completely. She said lump sum. I’ll be honest - it wasn’t until physically writing these checks out is when it hit me. That caused me to freak out internally. At that point my trust issues are screaming. She can take off right now. Crap. In my head I’m asking myself what am I doing. But I wanted to prove a point to myself. I can trust again! Not EVERYBODY is going to screw me! And I would have bet my life this girl was not like that. How pathetic of me and foolish.
So I see her the first weekend of May for a weekend trip we had planned. Amazing weekend. Things are great. On the way back I write her the check. Lump sum but she request it in 3 different checks - weird I think but ok. Here is one for May, one for June, one for July.
As I look back, it was almost instantaneous the change and frequency in her communication. I remember thinking it at the time - but considered it could be me and my insecurities so I looked past it. We hang out ONE more time after the checks. Her vibe was VISIBLY OFF. She did not want to be there but it’s like she forced herself too - it was so obvious in the moment.
The following weekend, she goes to a music festival with her friends. Before, she would text me her outfit pictures, how things were etc. this time I didn’t get any of that. But I was honestly ok with it as it was a large festival. Things get crazy - I get it. It wasn’t until AFTER the festival that we didn’t talk at all for 2-3 days. I’m thinking - what in the hell is going on. This is the first time we haven’t spoken in days since our very first text messages. Now I am freaking out.
For the past 3 months, we had been planning a cross country RV trip to another music festival. Months of planning. It was actually going to be her birthday. So…what do I do? I decide to plan a cross country country scavenger hunt with all her favorite things. It’s so detailed I have multiple shops ALL across the country participating in this with me. She loves music as do I. So I not only started writing her a song about the magic she offers, I even produce a song. It’s terrible - make no mistake - but damn I probably spent 60 hours on it. I am going to make this a birthday she remembers forever!
Back to us not talking for a few days - I freak out and text her that I am not feeling good, I think she is going to bail on this trip, and if she is to let me know so I don’t waste a bunch of money buying more stuff then needed. She text back that she is hurt and she ask why I am thinking this why, and that she doesn’t care if I go or not because she’s gonna go herself (wtf?!?). So I tell her exactly why I’m feeling this way which in short was things do not feel real or authentic anymore, something has changed, and I’m trying to figure out wtf is going on. I even tell her - I understand if you met someone - just be honest with me so I can plan accordingly. She blows up, says I’m rude and an asshole, and she can’t dare speak or see me for the time being (meanwhile she has always reiterated she will give me any reassurance I need). Here is the kicker, THE VERY NEXT DAY, I get the alert she cashes the last and final check. So outraged with me, so upset with me, but she has no problem cashing my check. FOR JULY. Deep down, it was that very moment I knew I was going to get rinsed. I don’t respect myself for not walking away then. I followed her like a pathetic broken dog following their owner. For the next few absolutely mentally draining weeks. It was bad. After a week she agrees to meet with me for 10 minutes to chat. We chat, and she says she will go on the trip.
Great! Maybe this will get us back on track and back to normal. I know she will love the scavenger hunt. We text periodically and chat about the trip. The day before the trip she asked if we can push it back a day. Sure I say. The next day, the day before, she says she will not drive with me but prefers flying in for the festival, it makes her feel more safe. I am crushed. I have no idea what to say. Some texting backing and forth and somehow I agree to it (no respect for myself…ugh). How pathetic am I. I text her asking if we can chat on the phone for a quick 5 minutes to coordinate logistics. I get a text back 12 hours later to “drive safe!”(read: I ain’t got time for you). Log in to see she blocked me on instagram and yep, that was all she wrote.
I am relieved it’s now over. The last few weeks have been so mentally draining. In the end, the only thing I can do is learn from my mistakes. If I just blame her for the rinsing, I will NEVER get better. I made so many mistakes. I could have been better. My therapist THROUGHOUT warned me, told me I will regret it, and I refused to listen. He became extremely concerned when he saw how my feelings were developing. He doesn’t know about the 401k yet. That will be a fun conversation next time I see him.
But damn, she has destroyed me. I am beyond crushed because of the WAY she did it. She ruined EVERYTHING we had….even the amazing times. They do not mean anything anymore. They do not even register in my head. It eats at me that she took that from me. I deserved that at least - but she didn’t have enough respect for me to let me keep the good times. That is going to take so long to get over. I really was good to her. I was honest. I was so caring. I would have done anything for her. I was needy. I was insecure. I am not good in the bedroom (stamina issues) but very giving. Not a whale. But very generous. I just don’t understand how she can do this. I mean, I was getting ready to have her meet my family - YIKES. In the end, how can I fall in love for someone that could do this to me? This is a major concern.
For the “nice guy” SDs, use this as a warning. Don’t think what you have here is real - it ain’t. This is sugar. At some point, you are going to get rinsed. Don’t let it be for as much as me. Stick to PPM.
Ultimately, this is all my fault. How irresponsible of me to cash out a 401k. I’m not in the financial situation to afford this. I have always been very logical, emotionally stable or numb (depression), and this SR brought out the 2 complete opposites in me. I have so many things that need fixing. And now it starts. Brick by brick. Step by step. I will now depart from the bowl, for good, and wish you all the best. Be careful.

The following records will ship via USPS w/ Tracking Information. International inquiries welcome. Discounts are considered if multiple items are being bundled. Easy to work with; if you have any questions, shoot me a chat / DM!
Free shipping for any orders over $100.
Shipping is $5, regardless of how many LPs are purchased.
311 - Greatest Hits 2x LP - $25.00
Alexisonfire - Dog’s Blood - $20.00
ALL - Mass Nerder - $20.00
Angels & Airwaves - Lifeforms (Sealed, Clear w/ Black Mint and Orange Splatter) - $20.00
Bad Brains - The Youth Are Getting Restless: Live 1987 (Clear w/ Yellow) - $20.00
Better Lovers - God Made Me an Animal - $20.00
Black Flag - Everything Went Black - $20.00
Black Flag - I Can See You - $20.00
Black Flag - TV Party - $20.00
Bright Eyes - A Companion to Collection of Songs 95-97 (Gold Vinyl) - $15.00
Bright Eyes - A Companion to Digital Ash in a Digital Urn (Gold Vinyl) - $15.00
Bright Eyes - A Companion to Fevers and Mirrors (Gold Vinyl) - $15.00
Bright Eyes - A Companion to I’m Wide Awake It’s Morning (Gold Vinyl) - $15.00
Bright Eyes - A Companion to Letting Off The Happiness (Gold Vinyl) - $15.00
Bright Eyes - A Companion to LIFTED (Gold Vinyl) - $15.00
Bright Eyes - There is No Beginning to the Story - $10.00
CHVRCHES - Under the Tide 12” Single (Yellow Vinyl) - $15.00
Circa Survive - Two Dreams - $20.00
Code Orange - Underneath (Clear) - $25.00
Cute is What We Aim For - The Same Old Blood Rush With a New Touch - $15.00
Dashboard Confessional - All The Truth That I Can Tell - $15.00
Dashboard Confessional - Crooked Shadows - $15.00
Dikembe - Mediumship - $25.00
Drug Church - Cheer - $20.00
Drug Church - Hygiene - $20.00
Fall Out Boy - So Much (For) Stardust (Gold) - $15.00
Fall Out Boy - Take This To Your Grave (Silver) - $25.00
Foo Fighters - Concrete and Gold - $20.00
Foo Fighters - Live in Toronto - 1996 - $20.00
Henry Rollins (Live) - Joe Cole is God - $20.00
Henry Rollins and the Hard Ons - Let There Be Rock - $20.00
Jawbreaker - Bivouac - $25.00
Jay Z - In My Lifetime, Vol. 1 - $20.00
Joan Jett - Bad Reputation - $10.00
Kacey Musgraves - Golden Hour (Clear) - $15.00
La Dispute - Panorama - $20.00
Laura Jane Grace - Stay Alive - $20.00
Los Crudos - 1991 - 1995: Los Primeros Gritos - $15.00
Los Crudos - Canciones Para Liberar Nuestras Fronteras - $20.00
Los Crudos - Discografía 2x LP - $25.00
Los Crudos - Spitboy - $20.00
Metallica - 72 Seasons (2x LP Black) - $15.00
Minus The Bear - Acoustics II (Tri Color) - $25.00
Minus The Bear - Lost Loves (Clear) - $20.00
New Found Glory - Forever & Ever x Infinity (Green) - $15.00
New Found Glory - Makes Me Sick - Deluxe - $20.00
New Found Glory - Resurrection: Deluxe Edition 2x LP - $20.00
Norah Jones - Chasing Pirates EP - $10.00
Notorious B.I.G - Ready to Die (Silver, 2x LP) - $25.00
NOFX - Ribbed (Red / Black) - $25.00
OST - A Charlie Brown Christmas Vince Guaraldi Trio - $20.00
OST - Almost Famous - $20.00
OST - Eddie Murphy 1982 Comedy Special - $15.00
OST - E.T (Music By John Williams)
OST - Footloose (Magenta) - $15.00
OST - Home Alone Christmas - $20.00
OST - Lost in Translation - $20.00
OST - Music from the X-Files (Glow in the Dark Vinyl) - $20.00
OST - Space Jam (Red / Black 2x LP) - $20.00
OST - Stand & Deliver - $25.00
OST - Transformers: Dark of the Moon - $20.00
OST - Watchmen Vol. 1 (Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross) - $20.00
OST - Watchmen Vol. 3 Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross) - $20.00
Outkast - Ghetto Musik (12” Single) - $10.00
Panic! At the Disco - A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out (Silver) - $20.00
PUP - The Unraveling of PUP - $20.00
Prince - Sign o’ the Times (Clear w/ White Swirl) - $20.00
Rodrigo Y Gabriela - Mettal EP - $15.00
Senses Fail - Hell is in Your Head - $15.00
Senses Fail - Pull The Thorns From Your Hear - $15.00
Silversun Pickups - Physical Thrills (2x LP Purple Vinyl, Indie Store Exclusive) - $20.00
Simple Creatures - Strange Love (White / Black Vinyl) - $20.00
Snail Mail - Valentine (Gold) - $15.00
Taylor Hawkins and the Coattail Riders - Bet the Money - $20.00
Tegan & Sara - Live at Zia Records (Record Store Day) - $15.00
Tegan & Sara - The Con X (Covers) - $15.00
Tegan & Sara - Tonight In The Dark We’re Seeing Colors (Record Store Day) - $15.00
The Cars - Panorama (Green) - $15.00
The Format - Interventions + Lullabies (Yellow / Blue) - $25.00
The Get Up Kids - Guilt Show (Yellow / Red) - $20.00
The Killers - Pressure Machine - $15.00
The Postal Service - We Will Become Silhouettes (12” Single) - $20.00
The Pretenders - Learning to Crawl - $10.00
The Pretenders - The Pretenders - $10.00
The Replacements - Pleased To Meet Me (Outtakes and Alternatives) - $25.00
The Shins - Chutes Too Narrow (Orange) - $25.00
The Subways - All Or Nothing (Orange) - $15.00
Van Halen - Van Halen 2 - $15.00
Weezer - The Black Album (Clear / Black) - $20.00

I slept quite well I think so that’s good. I’ve been waking up during the night less and less lately! So that’s definitely good. I mean when I do it’s fine because nine times out of ten I fall back asleep within minutes, it’s just something I didn’t have to deal with before but I’m getting older and that happens so I guess it’s just that.
This period can go f itself if you ask me. First it arrives ever so tardily and now it’s playing games on me. Yesterday aka day one it was suspiciously light but this morning? HA. I had to do the roll out of bed and make a mad dash for the shower before gravity became my nemesis. Being a girl is so fun isn’t it. But also gravity also has my back because my sheets are spotless (touch wood). Anyway and now my cramps are also back. BOOOOO. But at least I get to have morning and evening showers this time of the month which will always feel like a little special treat. I just love showers a lot, and I love feeling extra fresh and clean.
This morning I’ve done nothing. I had a shower, got changed into fresh PJs and got back into bed. My cramps hurt too much to do much else and I feel exhausted. I should make sure to take some iron supplements, I can be so bad with them and for someone who has had issues with anaemia and things it’s not very good of me. But it’s just my iron levels at last tested we’re finally showing in the normal range, admittedly the very low end, but normal nonetheless and that was when I was focusing on diet only! So all the legumes, tofu, spinach and leafy greens and nuts and stuff paid off. I mean that’s kind of my diet - aside from also sugar and diet coke and caffeine and bread and pasta etc because I’m just a human - but anyway I mean to say when I focus on nutrition it seems I can get by without the iron supplements, it’s just I have to actively be mindful of it otherwise I slip back down. I don’t know why I’m so bad at taking vitamins, like I take medication twice a day for my head so it’s not like I don’t have a pill time - except I’m getting worse with my medication and keep forgetting so I take it at slightly different times each morning and night but my GP said it’s fine as long as there’s the eight hours gap between - but anyway. Oh fuck me these cramps hurt. Anyway. But iron, b vitamins and the omegas I should take daily. And probably magnesium to be a good girl. And maybe zinc. And a probiotic. I don’t think I need a prebiotic given the foods I eat though.
Today I felt so old and like my life is over and I’ve wasted it being sad and anxy and I won’t ever have a life that I want so what’s even the point but then I remembered that Carrie was 32 in SEASON ONE and she had a whole life so that made me feel better.
I think reading has messed me up because I’m reading this book and it’s describing Tom R and here I am thinking well maybe I can fix him a little bit and Jesus f’ing christ. He’s not even morally grey he’s BAD… but so handsome. And evil characters are always so much more interesting let’s be real. And infinitely hotter. I really need to step away from fantasy romance STAT. (Nevermind he now has red eyes and I can fancy fictional men with wings or fangs but they always have lovely eyes to compensate sooooo…)
Sometimes I realise my self worth is so low in little ways, I mean I know it is but sometimes it just hits me as a small reminder. For example in the book Lupin was clearly worried and mildly agitated that Tonks hadn’t yet arrived back and my thought was well at least I’m not worth worrying about so at least if Andy and I lived in this world he wouldn’t worry so that would make me the perfect person to do dangerous or risky things etc. I don’t even believe someone would worry about me in a dangerous situation. I mean I know my parents love me, but I still feel like it’s out of obligation a lot of the time. And if I died, no one would really care that much. My parents would for a bit but again, obligation. I’m torn at how they would be though. My brother and his family… I don’t think it would affect them much at all. Andy? Well I think in some regard it would be quite freeing for him more than anything. He says he doesn’t want to let this go, that he won’t be satisfied til we give this a proper go? Well if I’m dead then there’s no option, and he can happily and freely move on. Friends? No one that would care, maybe feel a bit sad FOR me upon hearing the news but it wouldn’t affect them in any real way. Work? Ha. Puppy? Probably wouldn’t even notice. I can’t decide how I feel about all of that. On the one hand it drives me to make stronger relationships and all of that, on the other it’s kind of freeing in its own way. So many people don’t end things because they know it would be too hard on their family or whoever else, that’s not really an issue for me is it? I’m of course not doing anything like that, even if I do sometimes daydream about it, but still. Anyway shush.
I still feel so ashamed of myself. I feel like I have absolutely nothing to show for my life. It’s basically evidence that I’m a waste of space, no?
I still have cramps, nowhere near as bad as yesterday though. I hate this time of the month, I feel perpetually YUCK.
Well I tried to avoid a conversation and in doing so forced one sooo… 10 points for me. Idiot. Why can I not make good decisions? If I take time to think about it I usually can but other times I make rash decisions that are NOT GOOD. I don’t have time to write everything out, I wrote notes about the call though because I didn’t want to forget it but so I’ll write about it tomorrow. I feel riddled with guilt though. He does not deserve this, he deserves so much better. And because I refuse to let him go I have to BE and DO better so GET A GODDAMN GRIP YOU STUBBORN COW.
I still have cramps, still still still.
Did I say I finished the book? Idk. I did. I cried my little heart out.
Okay time to go bye

The Nightsong. To Preface it, I didn't mean this in terms of reward or gameplay consequence but more of a roleplaying aspect of it. I'm more into roleplaying after all.
So, for some background, I played my Dark urge as a, well, an urge. As in she didn't go out of her way to do evil but sometimes it relapsed for a moment before she realized it. In fact, she DIDN'T want to be evil so much that when she did slip, she would go to great lengths to deny responsibility or accountability. otherwise, she has a good intention as long as it doesn't endanger herself and her companion or interfere with the removal of the tadpole. I don't know how this personality would work into the existing DnD alignment
For example, she helps the tiefling in Druid Grove because it's a good thing to do and saves the goblin sazza too because that is what good guys do. which allows entry to goblin camp with the least bloodshed. but when she faced with opportunity with that tiefling child she slipped, and now she couldn't live with it, so she blamed kagha for it, and told everyone that too
She also helps the Gnome and kills the Duegar because Slaver Bad
She was genuinely glad when alfira joined and devastated when she died but again, how could she accept the consequence of her action, so she blamed astarion for it (who came clean about being a vampire and never tried to bite her. He's surprisingly upstanding in this playthrough)
Still, she subconsciously knew that she fucked up a lot so she desperately try to do good to make peace with herself. but the urge didn't help much.
When she reached last light inn, she was horrified that all those efforts were in vain as the tieflings were killed and taken again. and so she was determined to save them. it would at least make amend for what she did to poor alfira and arabella
She eventually reaches Shar's gauntlet which raphael invited her to, until she comes face to face with The Nightsong herself
So here's my Dilemma now, What choice would this character make? which one would make more sense given the circumstances?
On one hand, freeing her would obviously be a good guy choice. and even avoiding the decision and letting Shadowheart take over she still saves her. It was truly epic. so unexpected and so grand when the music basically tells you you made the right choice. I really love how beautiful it went. For a party that's not so morally upright. Shadowheart shows that she is better than us all.
but then again, would she risk doing that? when think of it in her shoes with no 20/20 hindsight. Ketheric needed to die so the tiefling, or what left of them could be saved. Also, shadowheart will surely get some form of powerup from completing the trial, and that may come in handy against such foe.
But this is such a downer choice with the fall of last light and everyone died. I tried this choice for a bit and managed to save Manus after sacrificing everything and everyone. maybe it could lead to an interesting character arc? that her effort to amend for her mistake just fucked up everything even more. and then Sclaritas came to rub that fact in her face again that night
Still, I kinda regret going after either choice. Now, I'm not sure what direction I want to go.
so, I ask of you, in your opinion, what do you think she would do?

My name is Rory Fars, and my little sister, Lily Fars, is the last family I had left.
A heavy sense of dread settled over me like a suffocating blanket as I sat in the worn leather seat of Lily's old jeep. The car, a relic of our happier days, seemed to groan under our shared sorrow. Beside me, Lily, my best friend, and confidante, absentmindedly twirled a strand of her long, dark hair, which swayed gently in rhythm with the haunting melodies from the oldies station on the radio. This car had seen us through countless joyful journeys when our family was whole. Almost three years had passed since that fateful Christmas trip in Texas when our parents were tragically killed in a horrific multi-car pileup. The memory of their loss was a constant ache, a wound that never fully healed.
My dad was from Amarillo, Texas, so my parents often took trips down there, visiting the places that held so many memories for him. During one of these trips, just before Christmas, a sudden blizzard struck while they were on the freeway. The snow fell in blinding sheets, making the world outside a disorienting white blur. As they tried to slowly pull to the side, their vision obscured by the relentless storm, they never saw the car barreling toward them at least forty miles an hour. The impact was devastating, an abrupt and brutal end to their journey and, in many ways, to our lives as we had known them.
My parents were always sticklers for safety, insisting on seatbelts every time we got in the car. So, of course, they had theirs on during that fateful trip. The initial impact wasn't what killed them, the coroner explained to me. Not even the first hit from behind, which was going at least fifty miles an hour, was fatal. I had to practically shake the information out of him—they were so resistant to tell me anything at first. By the time the third car hit, with an unknown speed, their survival was already in jeopardy. The coroner said that by the fifth car, they were likely dead. But it didn't end there. Another twenty-three vehicles slammed into the back of the pile, each collision further crushing their bodies, reducing them to a horrific, unrecognizable state. Each jarring impact pushed my parents deeper into a gruesome amalgamation of twisted metal and shattered lives.
I don't know why I felt compelled to demand those details at the time, but I deeply regret it now. I wish I had never asked. Almost every night, unless I drink myself into oblivion, I am haunted by nightmares of what they endured. I dream of driving up to save them, only to be caught in the same deadly barrage of cars, ending in a twisted metal tomb for all of us.
Lily is never in those dreams. Even in my most horrific imaginings, I can't envision her being hurt. Lily is my little sister, younger by eight years and three months. Whenever I mention our age difference, I see the judgment in people's eyes, but what can I say? Our parents never stopped loving each other. They had Lily late in life; she became our shared joy, our living reminder of the love that had bound our family together.
Lily wasn't my twin in the literal sense, but ever since she was born, it felt like we shared the inexplicable connection that twins often describe. As she grew up, our bond only deepened—we acted, sounded, and even looked remarkably alike. She became my rock, especially after our parents' tragic deaths. We leaned on each other, cried into each other's shoulders, and somehow found the strength to move forward. We eventually moved in together, finding solace in a two-bedroom apartment that became our sanctuary.
Lily seemed to handle our parents' deaths better than I did, or maybe she was just better at distracting herself with technology. Even before their passing, Lily was addicted to any kind of digital screen she could manipulate. Her ability to navigate the digital world was unmatched; she was the most intelligent person I had ever met. Her intelligence was a beacon of light in the darkness that had enveloped us, a testament to her resilience and brilliance.
After my parents' death, I embarked on a quest to find my spirituality by delving into paranormal investigations. I hoped these pursuits would bring me closer to my parents in the afterlife, spiritual realm, or whatever you want to call it. Instead, it created a chasm between me and any sense of spiritual existence. Each investigation seemed to push me further from the answers I sought, leaving me feeling more isolated and disconnected than ever.
I had hoped that by exploring these paranormal claims, I would discover a way to reach out to my parents and feel their presence again. Yet, as the years have passed, this endeavor has only deepened my loneliness and sense of loss. Despite knowing how detrimental it is to my mental health, I can't bring myself to stop. The hope that the subsequent investigation will be the one that proves the existence of an afterlife and that I'll find a way to contact my parents keeps me going. It's a desperate, unrelenting pursuit for a connection that remains heartbreakingly out of reach.
I should have accepted their death and moved on like any sane person would. Instead, I let my grief fester and dragged my sister and a stranger, Mark, through my obsessive quest for answers. My relentless pursuit of the paranormal didn't just alienate me; it consumed us all, leading to their untimely deaths. My name is Rory Fars, and I am here to confess my side of the story about the missing case of Lily Fars and Mark Lawrence.
This is the truth about how my desperate search for a connection with the afterlife led to a nightmare from which none of us could escape.
To start off, no, Lily was not a student of Mark's who fell in love with him and then got jealous of me hitting on him, leading her to kill him and herself. I know that sounds ridiculous, but given some wild theories circulating online, I need to address this one specifically since it seems to be the most popular.
First and foremost, Mark Lawrence was not, nor has he ever been, a professor at a university. Lily and I met Mark at the Local Museum in Redlin, a town nestled deep in the Appalachian Mountains. He was the curator of an exhibit showcasing the history of Raven's Nest, a forgotten mining town that neither Lily nor I had ever heard of. This is where our story begins, in a place steeped in history and mystery, far removed from the convoluted theories that now cloud the truth.
We were constantly searching for new ideas for our podcast about paranormal claims. Each of our twenty-five episodes so far had concluded with a rational explanation, so when Mark told us about the curse of Harper, I was immediately intrigued.
Mark was an older man, likely in his mid-sixties, with a full head of silver hair and a beard that stubbornly clung to its youthful color, only lightly dusted with grey. He had a presence that commanded attention, and his stories about the curse were delivered with an intensity that drew me in.
On the other hand, Lily was always more interested in the technical aspects of the paranormal. She had her own theories and was determined to debunk every claim we investigated. She wasn't easily swayed by Mark's tales about the curse of Harper, but she was willing to listen and give him a chance to prove himself. Her skeptical mind constantly checked my enthusiasm, and together, we hoped to uncover the truth behind yet another paranormal mystery.
"Hello ladies, care to hear about the mysterious town of Raven's Nest?" Mark asked with theatrical enthusiasm.
Lily and I exchanged a knowing glance, trying to stifle our amusement. Despite our attempts to remain composed, a smirk played at the corners of our lips.
"We're all ears," I replied, my tone laced with a hint of sarcasm.
He sighed, almost as if he was disappointed that we said yes. Taking a deep breath, he seemed to steel himself for the task ahead. "Well, you see," he began, his voice tinged with uncertainty, "in the early twentieth century, a man named Harper Franstein exploited many men and children in the coal mines. By the mid-1920s, he had established his own settlement in a secluded valley, which he dubbed 'The Raven's Nest.' It was never officially recognized as a town, but that's the only name we have to go off of."
I could see the beads of sweat forming on Mark's brow as he struggled to recall every detail. Despite his initial enthusiasm, he now appeared flustered, his confidence waning. Eventually, he resorted to consulting his damp and crumpled notes, a sign of his growing unease.
"Um, anyway, yeah, um," he stuttered, audibly gulping as his nerves got the better of him. Lily couldn't contain her laughter, emitting a snicker that earned us a glare from Mark.
"Hey, just relax," I interjected, trying to diffuse the tension. "We're not here to judge or intimidate you." With a gentle touch on his forearm and a chuckle, I attempted to reassure him, hoping to ease his obvious discomfort.
He paused, sharing a chuckle with me, while Lily struggled to suppress her laughter and eventually excused herself, leaving just Mark and me. Evidently, he felt more at ease with fewer listeners, so he pressed on with his narrative.
"Anyway," he resumed, "Harper held complete control over the town and the mine, and he made sure everyone was acutely aware of that fact. When the disappearances began, he tried to sweep them under the rug, attributing them to anything but his own negligence in mining practices."
"What do you mean by 'negligence in mining practices'?" I interjected, eager to delve deeper into his intriguing tale.
He looked up, clearly pleased by my question. "Yes, exactly," he affirmed. "Harper adhered to a mining technique outlined by Dwight Brunst in the mid to late nineteenth century. This method mandated only one entry and exit point into the mine."
"Wait, so they were forbidden from creating additional exits?" I pressed for clarification.
"Not explicitly," he explained. "The practice advocated for just one entry and exit as it was believed to minimize the risk of cave-ins, at least in theory. However, there were instances where miners, feeling uneasy about this restriction, took matters into their own hands and carved out what they called 'Emergency Exits' for themselves. After about half of the town started going missing, Harper couldn't take criticism about how he responded, but most people say he was losing money quickly and didn't want to live in a world where he was poor. He walked into the mine, never to be seen again, much like the cave's past victims. Visitors report seeing and hearing Harper, trying to get them to leave."
As I stood there, listening to Mark's enthralling narrative, I found myself captivated by the mysterious allure of Raven's Nest. Unable to contain my curiosity, I decided to pose a question.
"So, what does the town look like now?" I inquired, eager to learn more about the present state of this enigmatic place.
Mark's demeanor shifted slightly as he rifled through his notes, a subtle indication that he didn't have a straightforward answer to my query.
"You've never been there?" I asked, my tone softening with genuine curiosity.
He flinched as though my question had struck a nerve. "Shhhhhh... shut up," he demanded, his voice tinged with unease.
Suppressing a chuckle, I leaned in closer and whispered, "Okay, hear me out. My sister Lily and I are investigating paranormal phenomena. Your story about Raven's Nest sounds like the perfect addition to our podcast. What do you say we compensate you for your guidance? Let's say, three hundred bucks?"
He straightened up, contemplating my proposition for a few moments. Without uttering a word, he extended his hand, and I met it halfway with my own, sealing our agreement with a firm handshake.
Our journey to Raven's Nest was no easy feat. Situated a good twenty miles from town and nestled deep within a dense valley. After all of the tight turns, narrow dirt roads, and steep inclines, it took us a grueling two and a half hours to go twenty-something miles, but we finally reached the outskirts of the infamous settlement. As we stood at the edge of the "Nest," anticipation mingled with trepidation, setting the stage for the eerie exploration that lay ahead.
I glanced at my phone; the time read 11:56 pm, signaling the late hour. Sensing the exhaustion weighing heavily, I suggested we catch a few hours of rest in Lily's jeep. Mark, though visibly unsettled, remained silent from the back seat, his arms folded tightly across his chest as he slumped against the window like a sulking child.
Drifting asleep in the passenger seat, I soon found myself ensnared in a nightmare. In my dream, Mark was being dragged away into the darkness, his desperate attempts to claw his way back to safety only resulting in broken fingertips. Despite his struggles, he was powerless against the unseen force pulling him inexorably into the abyss. Suddenly, I was alone, engulfed in utter darkness, my heart pounding with fear as I ran blindly from an unseen terror that seemed to pursue me relentlessly, its malevolent presence palpable but unseen.
I jolted awake, gasping for breath, my heart racing as the remnants of dread lingered in the pit of my stomach. It was morning, and I was struggling to adjust my vision. Lily's frantic but comforting voice broke through the haze of my terror, grounding me in reality. With her comforting embrace, I gradually calmed my racing thoughts, drawing deep, steadying breaths.
As we sat there, enveloped in each other's embrace, Mark approached the driver's side window with an unexpected question, "Alright, what's for breakfast?" His nonchalant tone and casual demeanor were a stark contrast to the harrowing nightmare that had just consumed my thoughts, momentarily dispelling the lingering specter of fear that had haunted my dreams.
Lily and I both look up at him and back at each other as we burst out into laughter.
Amidst our shared laughter, Lily and I exchanged amused glances before turning our attention back to Mark.
"Ha...ha, yeah. No, but seriously, what's for breakfast? Eggs, bacon, toast, at least?" Mark pressed, hoping for a more substantial response.
His earnest inquiry fueled our laughter further, our giggles echoing through the quiet night air. Eventually, we regained our composure and stepped out of the jeep, stretching our limbs after the cramped confines of the vehicle.
Mark awkwardly moves to the side, still waiting for an honest answer. Lily tossed him a granola bar, eliciting a bemused chuckle from him. With a shared understanding, we set off on foot, embarking on the hike into the town.
The path ahead was clear: a single dirt road that wound its way from the abandoned coal mine into the heart of the small settlement. The road, now overgrown and muddy from years of disuse, bore the marks of neglect and isolation. Wary of the treacherous conditions, Lily opted to forgo the risk of getting stuck, steering clear of the decrepit road that likely hadn't seen a traveler in at least half a century.
We parked Lily's jeep at the entrance to both the mine and the town of Raven's Nest, opting to proceed on foot from there. Standing at the mountain's peak, gazing down at the desolate town below, I couldn't help but ponder the history beneath the dilapidated structures. I imagined how this valley must have once been a pristine landscape cherished by the indigenous people who roamed its lush terrain.
"Jesus, this place is more like a shit nest," Mark muttered in disgust, his disdain evident in his tone.
Lily shot me a knowing glance, silently communicating her skepticism toward Mark's assessment of the town.
Deciding to put Mark's knowledge to the test, I casually inquired, "So, what year was this area founded?"
Mark's reaction was almost defensive as if my question had caught him off guard. He hesitated momentarily before fumbling for his note cards in his pocket, a telltale sign that he wasn't as knowledgeable as he let on.
Before he could respond, I interjected with another question, "Mark, how long have you worked at the museum?"
As Mark froze, his gaze locking onto mine like a deer caught in headlights, I watched him closely, waiting for any sign of hesitation or discomfort. My narrowed eyes bore into his, silently urging him to be honest.
Finally, breaking the tense silence, Mark confessed, "Look, this is only my first week. I... I haven't had the greatest time lately, and I really need the extra money. I'm sorry I lied, but I'll help however I can."
I met his gaze unwaveringly, sensing the sincerity in his words. Clearly, he was a man in need of redemption, grappling with his own personal struggles.
"Alright, alright, don't cry too much," I teased lightly, trying to ease the tension. Gesturing towards Lily, who was busy preparing her wireless motion cameras in her backpack, I continued, "Lily and I already figured that was the case. Honestly, we're surprised you agreed to come along."
Mark remained frozen, but the tension seemed to melt away from his expression, replaced by a tentative smile. It was a moment of shared understanding, a silent acknowledgment that he was still welcomed into our expedition despite his initial deception.
"Alright, I have the cams and portable batteries to make sure the cameras and anything we have with power can last," Lily said, her voice brimming with determination.
We began our descent into the town, our hiking boots struggling against the thick, clinging mud produced by the constant light rain and years of disuse. Each step was a battle, the mud threatening to swallow our boots with every move.
After an eternity of trudging through the muck, we finally reached the town's only paved road—the main road. It had taken us only about fifteen minutes to hike down, but navigating the muddy slope had sapped our energy. We paused for a break, taking a few minutes to clean off our boots and catch our breath.
As we rested, I noticed Lily rummaging through her bag with a focused intensity. Curious, I asked, "What are you looking for?"
"I brought five motion-detecting cameras that I want to set up strategically throughout the town," she replied, pulling out one of the cameras. She walked over to the nearest building, a structure that served as a post office, police station, and fire station. She positioned the camera outside the building so it was pointed at the only road leading in and out of the town.
"We need to cover all potential points of interest," she explained, securing the camera in place. "This one will monitor any activity on the main road. We should place the other cameras around key locations like the mine entrance, the town square, and some more intact buildings."
I nodded, appreciating her thoroughness. "Good idea. We need to make sure we capture anything unusual."
Mark, having finally caught his breath, joined us. "Alright, let's get these cameras set up and see what we can find," he said, a hint of excitement in his voice.
"Look," Lily said, turning her tablet screen toward us. She waved her hand in front of the camera she had just placed. The tablet displayed five squares on the interface, each meant to show a feed from one of the cameras. Since Lily had only set up one camera so far, only the bottom right square showed any footage pointed at the road leading out of town. She stopped waving her hand, and the feed went to a blue screen.
"What happened? Did we lose connection?" Mark asked frantically, his eyes wide with concern.
Lily cackled, struggling to contain her amusement. Composing herself, she waved her hand in front of the camera again, and the bottom right square showed her hand waving once more. "It's motion-activated. It's the best way to save on battery life," she explained.
Mark seemed to relax, though he was still catching his breath after the brief panic.
I glanced at my watch, noting the time. "It's 8:30. We're behind schedule. If you want to place the rest of your cameras, we better move now," I said, walking down the street.
Lily immediately got up and followed me, with Mark struggling to keep pace behind us. We reached the market building, and Lily positioned her second camera on the side of the road, pointing up at the market.
It's not much longer before we make it to the Town Hall. I suggest Lily place a camera nearby. She nods and heads into a building across from the Town Hall labeled, "Slaughterhouse: LOCAL ANIMALS ONLY."
As Lily explores the building to find an adequate spot for the camera, I wait for Mark to catch up. While I wait, I can't help but imagine this town in its prime, picturing the streets filled with families who loved each other.
My thoughts are abruptly cut off by a sound echoing in the distance—a roar unlike any I've ever heard. It was a mix of a human screaming in pain, the roar of a lion, and, near the end, the howl of a wolf. The chilling sound sent shivers down my spine.
I jump to my feet and immediately call out, "Lily, you okay?"
There's no response from Lily, but I'm interrupted by Mark finally catching up, panting heavily.
"Holy... shit... did you... hear that?" Mark said frantically between breaths.
"Yeah, we have to find Lily," I say, bolting into the slaughterhouse. I glance back to see Mark bracing himself on the steps of the Town Hall, struggling to keep up.
As I enter the building, the stench of rotting flesh hits me like a wave, causing me to gag. The smell is too fresh to be decades old.
"Lily? Lily, where are you?" I yell, using my shirt to shield my nose from the overwhelming odor.
"Rory, I'm in here!" I hear Lily yell from a room two doors down. I pass the first door, peeking in to ensure I hadn't misheard, but I wish I hadn't looked.
Inside the first room, I catch a glimpse of what appears to be a pile of animal carcasses, their decayed bodies arranged in a grotesque display. The sight is horrifying, the flesh still disturbingly fresh. The bile rises in my throat, but I force myself to focus on finding Lily.
I rush to the room where her voice came from, pushing the door open. Lily is there, setting up the camera, seemingly oblivious to the horror in the adjacent room. Relief floods through me as I see she's safe.
"Lily, did you hear that roar?" I ask, trying to keep my voice steady.
"Yeah, I heard it," she replies, her eyes wide with concern. "I was just finishing up here. Let's get back to Mark and figure out what that was." She had placed the camera in a window, pointing directly at the Town Hall.
We hurry back outside, where Mark still catches his breath as we meet between the buildings. "We need to stay together from now on," I say firmly, looking at both of them. "Whatever that noise was, it's not something we want to face alone."
"Let's check out the Town Hall!" Mark says excitedly as he slowly clambers through a broken window.
"Did he not just hear what I said?" I mutter under my breath, shaking my head in disbelief.
Lily gives me a shrug, her eyes reflecting a mix of amusement and exasperation. "Guess we're heading into the Town Hall then," she says, adjusting her backpack and walking towards the broken window.
I sigh and follow suit, hoisting myself up and carefully maneuvering through the jagged glass. Inside, the air is musty, filled with the scent of old paper and decaying wood. Dust motes float lazily in the beams of sunlight streaming through the cracked windows.
The main hall is vast and eerily silent, with rows of empty chairs facing a stage draped in tattered curtains. The walls are lined with faded portraits and yellowed maps of the town, remnants of a time when this place was alive and bustling.
Mark is already at the front, examining a large, decrepit desk. "Look at this," he says, his voice echoing in the empty space. "It's like stepping back in time."
I walk over, glancing at the old papers scattered across the desk. Most are mundane—meeting minutes, maintenance logs—but one catches my eye. It's a letter dated June 1925, addressed to Harper Franstein.
"Harper, the disappearances are becoming more frequent. The townsfolk are getting restless, and I fear they may take matters into their own hands if we don't act soon. We need to find out what's causing this before it's too late."
I read the letter aloud, and the room fell silent. "Sounds like things were getting pretty tense," Lily remarks, her voice subdued.
As I'm distracted by the time capsule in front of us, Mark sneaks off.
I'm not sure how long it was before she noticed, but I saw Lily looking around before saying, "Where the hell did Mark go?" breaking me out of my trance.
I look around, turning my head in all directions, and shrug at Lily. I hear shuffling in the second room down the hall, so I slowly walk toward it.
"Mark?" I call out.
Just then, a loud crash reverberates through the building, making it sound like the whole place was about to come down.
We run in and see Mark struggling to keep himself from falling into a giant hole that must've broken under his weight. Trying not to laugh, I glance at Lily. We help him up as he dramatically falls onto his back, wheezing as he catches his breath.
Lily and I can't contain our laughter anymore as we bust out laughing hard. Startled by our sudden outburst, Mark jumps in fear. He looks around, confused for a few seconds, before realizing that we are laughing at him.
"Jesus, thanks, I guess," he says, clearly thankful but annoyed by our reaction.
After we contained ourselves, we headed back outside, exiting through the window Mark entered through. He struggles to climb out, but after Lily gives him a hand, he is safely out of the Town Hall.
"Alright, Ror, where should we put the next camera?" Lily asks me.
I stop to think momentarily, trying to picture the town's layout. "I think the only place left is the neighborhood," I respond confidently. I always talk like that with Lily. Over the years, I've realized she is the only person I can have that much confidence around. With anyone else, I'm worried about saying something stupid or wrong or how they'll view me, but with my sister, everything is easy.
As I look at the replica map of the town in its heyday from the museum, I determine that the neighborhood is to the East. "Okay, looks like we head East past the Library. Let's go." I say, walking away.
It only takes about eight minutes to get to the long strip of road that housed the town's workers. According to the map, there were fifteen houses along this strip of road.
The houses stand eerily silent, their wooden frames weathered and decayed by time. We walk down the road, our footsteps crunching on the gravel and echoing in the stillness. The air feels heavier here like the past is watching us, waiting to reveal its secrets.
"Let's put the last cameras on that house at the end of the road," I suggest, pointing to a house that looks slightly less dilapidated than the others, "another one at the last house on the other side, and the last we can save for a spot you choose."
Lily nods and heads toward the first house, pulling another camera from her backpack. She sets it up on the porch, positioning it to capture the entire street, and does the same in the opposite house. As I stand with Mark breathing hard, still unable to catch his breath since we first got here, I can't shake the feeling that we're being watched. I glance around nervously but see nothing out of the ordinary.
"All set," Lily says, breaking my reverie, "Still no ideas for the last cam?" Lily asks me.
"Like I said, wherever you think it would be best. I feel like we have enough good spots and angles, so go wild with that one," I told her.
She smirked and kept walking next to me. Mark was still struggling behind, but after the town hall mishap, he was trying his best to keep up. I looked at my watch, and it read '12:30 pm'.
"Holy shit, it's already 12:30," I said in amazement, but no one else seemed fazed. It felt like we'd only been here thirty minutes, not almost four hours.
We walked back down the street. Lily and I had been discussing on the walk that she should put the last camera at the town's only stoplight in front of the Library.
As we made our way to it, I could have sworn I was seeing something moving fast past my vision in the corner of my eye. Every time I turned to look, it was gone. I chalked it up to being my imagination until Lily and Mark both experienced the same thing.
"What the fuck was that?" Mark asked as he ducked, bracing for something terrible to happen. Lily and I looked back at him and then at each other as we shrugged. It was after that that I started seeing things, too.
I confided in Lily about the unsettling visions and sounds, and she admitted she had experienced the same phenomena but had kept quiet, fearing Mark would dismiss her as paranoid.
"Well, it's probably just a cat or something," I said, attempting to downplay the situation, but neither seemed convinced.
We continued our trek, and I noticed that the more we walked, the more frequently I caught fleeting glimpses of movement in my peripheral vision. It was beginning to grate on my nerves.
Finally, we reached the light in front of the Library. As Lily mounted the camera, I felt a sense of satisfaction. We were making good progress, and it seemed like a suitable moment to start exploring the town more freely. We decided to split up and cover different sections of the town.
"Wait, we have to go alone? Why can't we stay together like you said?" Mark asked frantically, but Lily and I ignored him as we headed in separate directions. He continued to protest, but we paid him no mind. Eventually, I was either far enough away to not hear him anymore, or he had given up. Either way, I was happy to enjoy the eerie silence of the town.
As I wandered, the stillness of Raven's Nest enveloped me. With its decrepit buildings and overgrown streets, the town exuded an unsettling charm. It was as if I had stepped into a forgotten world, a place frozen in time with secrets waiting to be unearthed. The ambiance reminded me of an amusement park's haunted town section—artificially eerie yet irresistibly intriguing. Despite the creepiness, the mysterious vibe of the town kept me engaged and eager to explore its hidden corners.
I glanced at my watch again, only to find the time glaring back at me: 3:19 pm. It couldn't be right. There was no way it had been that long since I last checked. Panic seized me, and I called out for Lily, my voice tinged with urgency. She appeared beside me in a matter of minutes, her expression mirroring my concern.
"What's up, Ror? You okay?" she asked, her voice laced with worry.
"How long would you say it's been since you put the last camera down?" I inquired, my heart pounding in my chest.
Lily's brow furrowed as she struggled to come up with an answer. "Uh, I don't know, thirty minutes?" she hazarded a guess.
I held up my watch, displaying the time: 3:20 pm. Lily fell silent, her eyes widening in disbelief. She was never great with time, but missing almost three hours of our memory was unprecedented.
"There's no way. Your watch must be—" Lily began, her voice trailing off as she checked her own watch, only to freeze in shock when she found it displayed the same time as mine.
"Lil, something is going on," I stated, my voice tight and apprehensive. I glanced up at the sky, my stomach churning as I noticed the clouds darkening and rolling in from all sides of the valley.
The sky closed rapidly, ominous clouds obscuring the sun as thunder rumbled ominously against the mountains.
"Mark? Mark, where are—" I began to call out, but before I could finish, Mark emerged from behind a wall, appearing as if he'd been too frightened to venture far on his own.
"We have to get inside!" Mark exclaimed urgently, his voice tinged with fear.

What are the most "compact", yet the most interesting Genesis loops? According to your personal judgement, of course. (Bringing up solo works by the members of the band is OK.)
What's a "compact loop"? It's a term I made up. A "loop" is a fragment of music which repeats at least two times in a row (the repetition doesn't have to be exact). And a "compact loop" is a loop which... 1. Which doesn't have many chords / note patterns. (The less it has, the better.) 2. Which contains two strongly emphasized contrasts of a certain kind. Contrasts in note pitch (high/low), note density (how many notes are played per second) or note duration (how long notes last). What counts as "strong enough" emphasis is subjective, but we can seek for examples with the strongest emphasis and we don't have to agree on every example. 3. Which establishes those contrasts in 10 seconds or less.
In simpler words, I'm looking for the shortest, simplest, most contrasting loops.
Do you need to know music theory to understand the definition above? No. It uses only the most basic concepts. And I'll be linking videos where you can see how a loop is played. Also, see "clarification" section at the end of the post.

Non-Genesis examples

First 14 seconds of Toxic by Britney Spears. Why is it a compact loop? * It fits in ~3 seconds. * Doesn't have many chords. * Emphasizes contrasts in pitch and note duration.
First 14 seconds of Eleanor Rigby by The Beatles. ~7 seconds loop, 2-4 chords in the entire song, emphasized contrasts in pitch and note duration.
Floods outro by Pantera (linking to a piano cover so you can see how it's played). There's a lot of chords, but mostly it's just 2 note patterns (one played by the right hand, another played by the left hand) repeated at different pitches. Those note patterns emphasize contrasts in pitch and note duration. Both contrasts can be heard in less than 10 seconds.
0:42 - 1:28 from The Great Marsh by Camel. Not many chords, emphasized contrasts in note density and note duration (between the keyboard and the wordless vocal).

Genesis examples

Silent Sorrow In Empty Boats (from 0:23 onward). Not many chords, emphasized contrasts in note density and note duration (short notes vs. long notes of the Mellotron choir).
Entangled, from 4:24 till the end. Similar to "Silent Sorrow", but it's kinda too complicated and too long for a compact loop.
First 33 seconds of The Fountain of Salmacis. Emphasized contrasts in pitch and note duration (long Mellotron "wave" sound vs. short underlying notes).
Unquiet Slumber For The Sleepers, e.g. 0:10 - 0:47. Emphasized contrasts in pitch and note duration.
Am I Very Wrong?, maybe, the intense music after choruses.
Powerhouse At the Foot of the Mountain (from 0:41 onward) by Peter Gabriel.

Counterexamples

Here's some examples which don't count as compact loop.
14:39 - 15:30 of Genesis' Supper's Ready preceding Apocalypse in 9/8. The loop is too complicated, too long.
Intro (up to 1:43) of Watcher Of The Skies by Genesis. Too many chords.

Clarification

What's a note?

It's a distinct sound.
A note can have length. For example, if you say "A-A-A-A-A..." it's a single long note.

What's a note pattern?

By a "note pattern" I mean a collection of notes with a simple shape. "Shape" on the note sheet or in the piano roll.

What are the simplest contrasts in music?

I'd say the simplest contrasts in music are related to pitch (high/low) and note density / note duration (how fast the hands of a player are moving).
I'm interested in loops where those simplest contrasts are emphasized.

P.S.

When a compact loop contains certain "triggers", I experience a weird psychological effect. If you think you may be experiencing it too, please let me know. Here's Genesis loops which give me the strongest effect: The Fountain of Salmacis, Entangled (despite not being very compact), Watcher Of The Skies (but it's too dissonant and not very compact). Non-Genesis examples of the effect: Waking The Witch (up to 1:18) by Kate Bush, first 30 seconds of Electricity (Dr. Rockit's Dirty Kiss) by The Avalanches and Matthew Herbert, Be Forever by Piknik (first 30 seconds).

I'm doing that silly teenager thing where I dream of unrealistic romantic relationships and I've decided to write it down for once, because its fun and why not.
In my adult life, I wanna move to Salem, MA, or somewhere in that state. I like Massachusetts, I vibe with the people there better than the south.
I want to meet a girl in some unspecified way (because that's hard and my imagination isn't that good and this is my story I do what I want) and then fall in love, because this is a romance thing, it would be weird if we didn't.
I wanna move in with her, in some old victorian-style house. We'd put a room just for reading in, fill it with books.
We'd attract crows to our house, they're smart creatures and they're cool as fuck, and having your house covered in crows is gnarly.
We could own a boat maybe? I don't sail. I don't know. I just think it could be cool I'm not thinking about it that hard.
We could drive around and run errands together. Fall in love with each other and fall in love with the mundane. Listen to music, have a good time, bask in eachother's company.
We could go on dates. Y'know. Like couple do sometimes. But, like, stupid ones, like gokarting or bowling or just sitting on the beach staring at the birds. Or staying in and getting way too competitive about mario kart.
Maybe, since we live in salem, she's a witch. Not, like, pointy hat cartoon witch, I've known a few people who practice modern witchcraft and although I don't believe in it I do think its pretty neat. And I'd support it and we could go and buy ouija boards and silly stuff in the various tourist-trap witch stores. Maybe even a pointy hat, because cliches are fun sometimes.
Anyways, thus concludes my random yearning. I could go on like this for a while but typing on a phone for that long is comparable to torture.
Goodbye, and sorry for making you read that.

Bonjour 👋
My name is Louis, I’m 23 ! Well, you know what this sub is for 😅 I’ve always been single and liked it, but I’m feeling more and more the need to find love. I want to fall in love, be romantic, and care for somebody…
About me: I’m 180cm, short brown hair, brown eyes, I have a beard tho I might not keep it ! I’m fit, I have abs… if you look close enough haha I’m also calm, caring, introvert, and respectful.
I have a master degree in engineering and I have a job. I’m interested in electronics, computer science, machining, 3D printing... I love to create stuff and experiment all kinds of things! And I love rock music, biking, cars, going outside to enjoy some fresh air, and chilling with friends.
Now, if you like what you’ve read so far, send me a message! I would prefer people around my age and from Europe !
See you soon 😁

Soooooo I feel like a fool. Turned 40 in March. Started dating someone new who is amazing and TBH is better than all of my ex's combined to me. Not really hard to do. I'm an idiot and pretty much been in an abusive relationship most of my adult life. So smart that I went from one to another and stayed with each for way too long. I hope my persnickety pissed off attitude is coming through because I am not this person. I fall into guys dick sand apparently I have recently discovered. Anywho my bf(41m) has been in one other relationship, fell for the first girl that came along and he wanted so he followed her like a puppy until she gave in a year later(we were teenagers), he settled down, got married, had kids and pretty much everything except the actual white picket fence. Bf fucked up and got in trouble and sent to jail. Nothing terrible just bs that he they threw the book at him for and he got screwed. Welcome to the system where they preach about rehabilitation and a make believe place because it doesn't exist and they are there to fuck you and get as much money as they can out of you amongst other things. He knows he did but he didn't deserve what she did and she is still doing to him.
Hubby is in jail and what does she do but slides his "best friend" in and is cheating on him and stringing him along. She did it for 5 years in jail and then she played him to get whatever she wanted. Welcome to the terrible world of horrible people isn't it beautiful. Wow I am one pissed off, jaded, sharp tongued, quick witted, instant come back(I am not) son of a bitch right now.
They were together a long time. I'm a very insecure person and I have run into things in my life that I have learned from the hard way. I don't make the same mistake twice. I make it three or four times just make sure it's the wrong one. It's intimidating and he still loves her in some aspect because she is the mother of his children and he gave her everything and worshiped the ground she walked on. I fought with us getting together because of it. I was completely upfront and honest and I still am. I don't even think about her now because I got over it.
Trying to keep it short. I was upset about something the other day and he could tell. He said what is up with you today? I know that there's something bothering you. He said if you are worried about me running back to her then you can stop because you are dead wrong.
Woah horsey!! I wasn't even thinking about that at all. Honestly I was just floored that he brought it up. Fuck backstory so the BFF she was "not" cheating with or ever with or anything whatever with gets caught stealing gasoline on multiple occasions from the township building that his dad is an elected official of, he is already on parole, and going away for a long time with his rap sheet IF he gets charged properly. Like 5-7 years I believe. Bf told her to Fuck off when we got together. She only had BF and BFF to use and BF is not and now BFF is going away. Like O M G Becky did you see her panic bc OMG who is she going to use now?
I bet you can guess who and he said he would not he was done with her. I asked him a few times if she was blowing him up like the low life she is and he said no nothing.
He has been acting weird. I knew something was bothering him and he was really struggling and stressed out about it. We both have a lot going on and it just keeps on getting worse but at least we have each other. He was snapping on me left and right about the most asinine things. I saw his phone and she was right there in the last 5 text messages and he hates texting. Something about him leaving her $5 and her being like OMG like I didn't know who this was lollll. I didn't look or touch it or go through his phone but I said something to him. He was completely ignoring me and I felt like I just didn't exist and he was getting message after message and hiding his phone from me. He said I was a liar and grimy mofo because I went through his phone and I didn't and he stormed off. He shows up several hours later with his tail between his legs and it's whatever.
Until.... it's 230am in the fucking morning and his phone rings. It's bfs ex at this hour and he won't wake up and I know nothing is wrong with the kids that she will not let him see but what if and I wake him up and he doesn't care.
5 minutes later does she not call back again and I wake him just in case and nothing right back to sleep. The code for his phone is changed and I don't know what it is or when he changed it but he did it on purpose because he is hiding something and I already know in the pit of my stomach what he is hiding messages or calls or whatever.
Y didn't I fucking answer the phone. Y didn't I trust my gut. Y did I let this happen again. Y does My heart get completely ransacked and destroyed. I can't breathe. I'm having a panic attack. I feel like such an idiot. WTF is wrong with me. Y didn't she call again? Y couldn't I have thought about answering the phone when it was ringing. Ughhhhhhhh
Am I circling out of control and just go to sleep and it's really nothing?! Is my gut feeling right?! How do I react to it?! Am I going to cut a bitch?! And on and on. Please any advice, what you think of the situation, what I should do etc please and thank you