Free pull tab flyer templcate

The Denver Police Department is limiting its officers from making certain low-level traffic stops to free them up to focus on more serious crimes.
Why it matters: The policy shift is intended to improve efficiency for an agency short 167 officers and seeing longer response times. It's also an attempt to reduce incidents of racial profiling by police, which critics say too often lead to violence.

​

Denver's policy was approved on May 1 and it comes after the city council suggested the idea to Denver Police Chief Ron Thomas a year ago. It is based on a study by the Vera Institute of Justice that suggests law enforcement departments whose officers are stopping fewer drivers in other cities are seeing an increase in public safety.

TL:DR - They're saying that you can still get pulled over for moving violations like speeding and running red lights, but not headlight / taillight problems, expired tags, etc. Supposedly they're making the change to better make use of limited officers' time, help increase officer safety, decrease racial inequity, and increase community trust.

Hyperdontia Aura of Flies guitar tabs download as Guitar Pro and PDF on: https://paidtabs.com/search/SV4rSXHmrMI
Click here for a free preview of the score (first page)
Credit: this score was transcribed/uploaded by @Akira_Nakagawa
If you cannot find the score, it might be because of a copyright issue. Click on "Request" button at PaidTabs.com to request and get the score.

I have done hours of research trying to decide on the best/right monitor for me. I think I have narrowed it down to a set of specs to search with, but would appreciate feedback from those who know more than me…
What I want it for:
1) I work from home full time, so office use. Spreadsheets/other O365 apps/video calls/PDFs/internet etc. No funky software/no graphic design or video editing etc. I have a Dell Latitude 13th Gen i5-1335U 16GB RAM - i do not game on this.
2) Gaming with PS5 only. Open world, single player, think Cyberpunk/GTA/Fall Out etc.
Budget: up to £900, could maybe go a bit higher
Available space/desk: desk is 160x80cm – but I’d like to fit it on the wall for a cleaner desk space
Suggested optimal specs based on my research…
Size – 34”, 38” or 43” – I don’t think I can go bigger than 43”, but would like to feel like I am getting an upgrade from my current 32” (Samsung LC32T550FDUXEN), so 34” feels a bit meh, but current is 16:9 so would a 34” 21:9 feel a lot bigger…?
Ports - x2 HDMI (at least x1 HDMI 2.1) – have read that to future proof and because of the PS5 I should get one with HDMI 2.1. Currently have just x1 HDMI and x1 DP so have had to get a HDMI to DP cable for the PS5 and the sound keeps cutting out.
Aspect ratio – leaning heavily towards 21:9. I think the ultra-wide would be beneficial for work, and while I know the PS5 does not officially support it, I am not sure that the black bars would bother me, and also read that the right monitor can handle the ‘up-scaling’ (stretching). Also want to future proof in case Sony does an update…
Also, I find I rarely ‘look up’ when working on my current 34”/16:9 except to search/close tabs. My natural working space seems to be more in the middle/bottom of the screen, causing me to lean further to 21:9.
Resolution - 3440x1440 or 3840 x 1600 for 21:9 (2560 x 1440 if I did go for 16:9)
Hz - min 144 - ideally more
Refresh rate - 1-3ms
Integrated speakers – Yes – very used to having them especially for virtual meetings, ideally don’t want to have to get external, but looks like I may have to? I have been surprised that so many high end monitors do not have them
Panel – VA or IPS?? – current is VA. I do find the colours can be a bit dull when gaming, however when working I have ‘night mode’ switched on else my eyes start hurting. Research showing the world seems to be a bit split, but maybe leans towards VA?
Other - current has AMD FreeSync, what should I be looking for here for the PS5?
I suppose I am asking if that is all logical, and given no such monitor may exist that ticks all the boxes at the right price... what should I compromise on 1^st, 2^nd etc.?
Many thanks!

Hey all,
I recently got back into the game and was able to build my team with: Dr Ratio / Topaz / Aventurine / Robin.
The only problem is, I got Dr Ratio for free months after he debuted. Before I got Topaz I pulled for her light cone and put it on Dr Ratio as it was his second best. I didn’t realize that Topaz was great on his team so I just got her in a pull.
The issue now is what do I do with light cones until I can pull for Dr Ratios LC? I have the following light cones:

• Swordplay V
• Cruising the Stellar Sea (level 2)
• Sleep like the Dead (level 1)
• Worrisome Blissful (level 1)

At this point does it make more sense to take Topaz signature LC off Dr Ratio even tho he’s my main damage? And if so what cone do I put on him? Or if it’s the other way around what cone would you put on Topaz?
I will go for Dr Ratios LC when he’s back in the game. Just wondering what I do for now. Thanks for your time and feedback!

Basically the title. My friend has been procrastinating on her art final essay and her final project for genuinely such a long time. We started this project in September 2022 and its due tomorrow, and she has hella gaps in her work because she procrastinates quite a bit. I understand the struggle of procrastination, honestly, I do it a lot myself, so I offered to help and she was happy.
I helped her out by pulling out the main features of each painting that she chose and suggesting some links to her theme/topic/arguement, whatever you want to call it. I wrote a couple paragraphs on one out of the 3 paintings that she needs to describe, but she didn't really like what I wrote since I'm not really well educated on her topic, and my statements were very general and vague in relation to her theme. I told her this before I started to work with her yet she still criticized my writing which I found strange since I'm helping her with what are essentially just suggestions. I also proofread the paragraphs that she's written so far and corrected her grammar in places where it needed correcting, as english isn't her first language. She can speak well but her writing has some minor mistakes. I also have my own art project and essay that I sent her as an example since I've completed it all, though I know that doesn't really count as work.
But the thing is, I have to work on the yearbook for my school, and I also don't have much time left. I'm really struggling to put this yearbook together as the people in my school aren't sending me the pictures that they have, and I'm working on it alone since nobody else wants the added pressure of working on a yearbook along with exams and deadlines (understandable).
She isn't happy that I'm not spending more time helping her as "It's the final and it's due tomorrow!", but she did the same thing with her second art project that we worked on from Feb 1 to May 2. I feel like she needs to learn how to deal with her deadlines herself and understand that there are consequences to not finishing her work on time and leaving it to the very last minute. I've been working on my essay since Oct 2023 since I had way more free time back then, as I didn't have any exams, and back then I suggested that she does the same. Now we have exams and she's really stressed, and I feel bad but really I have my own work to do and I did help her out a little. I'm also going to proofread her work right before she submits it since it's light and quick work, and basically the least I can do.
The only reason I'm asking here is because I can't tell if I should really be helping her more since this whole project and essay is what will amount to 60% of our grade and the other project that she didn't end up finishing was worth 40%, and she needs an A in art for a scholarship to her preferred uni. AITAH?

Posted in /buildapc before discovering this sub... I have done hours of research trying to decide on the best/right monitor for me. I think I have narrowed it down to a set of specs to search with, but would appreciate feedback from those who know more than me…
What I want it for:
1) I work from home full time, so office use. Spreadsheets/other O365 apps/video calls/PDFs/internet etc. No funky software/no graphic design or video editing etc. I have a Dell Latitude 13th Gen i5-1335U 16GB RAM - i do not game on this.
2) Gaming with PS5 only. Open world, single player, think Cyberpunk/GTA/Fall Out etc.
Budget: up to £900, could maybe go a bit higher
Available space/desk: desk is 160x80cm – but I’d like to fit it on the wall for a cleaner desk space
Suggested optimal specs based on my research…
Size – 34”, 38” or 43” – I don’t think I can go bigger than 43”, but would like to feel like I am getting an upgrade from my current 32” (Samsung LC32T550FDUXEN), so 34” feels a bit meh, but current is 16:9 so would a 34” 21:9 feel a lot bigger…?
Ports - x2 HDMI (at least x1 HDMI 2.1) – have read that to future proof and because of the PS5 I should get one with HDMI 2.1. Currently have just x1 HDMI and x1 DP so have had to get a HDMI to DP cable for the PS5 and the sound keeps cutting out.
Aspect ratio – leaning heavily towards 21:9. I think the ultra-wide would be beneficial for work, and while I know the PS5 does not officially support it, I am not sure that the black bars would bother me, and also read that the right monitor can handle the ‘up-scaling’ (stretching). Also want to future proof in case Sony does an update…
Also, I find I rarely ‘look up’ when working on my current 34”/16:9 except to search/close tabs. My natural working space seems to be more in the middle/bottom of the screen, causing me to lean further to 21:9.
Resolution - 3440x1440 or 3840 x 1600 for 21:9 (2560 x 1440 if I did go for 16:9)
Hz - min 144 - ideally more
Refresh rate - 1-3ms
Integrated speakers – Yes – very used to having them especially for virtual meetings, ideally don’t want to have to get external, but looks like I may have to? I have been surprised that so many high end monitors do not have them
Panel – VA or IPS?? – current is VA. I do find the colours can be a bit dull when gaming, however when working I have ‘night mode’ switched on else my eyes start hurting. Research showing the world seems to be a bit split, but maybe leans towards VA?
Other - current has AMD FreeSync, what should I be looking for here for the PS5?
I suppose I am asking if that is all logical, and given no such monitor may exist that ticks all the boxes at the right price... what should I compromise on 1^st, 2^nd etc.?
Many thanks!

My bike starts up fine in neutral, but whenever I engage the clutch lever and shift to first the engine cuts off power. I should also mention I am able to shift up all the way to third from neutral without pulling the clutch lever. I’ve tried messing around with the clutch free play and still nothing. The bike has been sitting a couple of months if that matters . Any help would be appreciated!

Please go easy on me! Appreciate this is not PC build related... I have done hours of research trying to decide on the best/right monitor for me. I think I have narrowed it down to a set of specs to search with, but would appreciate feedback from those who know more than me…
What I want it for:
1) I work from home full time, so office use. Spreadsheets/other O365 apps/video calls/PDFs/internet etc. No funky software/no graphic design or video editing etc. I have a Dell Latitude 13th Gen i5-1335U 16GB RAM - i do not game on this.
2) Gaming with PS5 only. Open world, single player, think Cyberpunk/GTA/Fall Out etc.
Budget: up to £900, could maybe go a bit higher
Available space/desk: desk is 160x80cm – but I’d like to fit it on the wall for a cleaner desk space
Suggested optimal specs based on my research…
Size – 34”, 38” or 43” – I don’t think I can go bigger than 43”, but would like to feel like I am getting an upgrade from my current 32” (Samsung LC32T550FDUXEN), so 34” feels a bit meh, but current is 16:9 so would a 34” 21:9 feel a lot bigger…?
Ports - x2 HDMI (at least x1 HDMI 2.1) – have read that to future proof and because of the PS5 I should get one with HDMI 2.1. Currently have just x1 HDMI and x1 DP so have had to get a HDMI to DP cable for the PS5 and the sound keeps cutting out.
Aspect ratio – leaning heavily towards 21:9. I think the ultra-wide would be beneficial for work, and while I know the PS5 does not officially support it, I am not sure that the black bars would bother me, and also read that the right monitor can handle the ‘up-scaling’ (stretching). Also want to future proof in case Sony does an update…
Also, I find I rarely ‘look up’ when working on my current 34”/16:9 except to search/close tabs. My natural working space seems to be more in the middle/bottom of the screen, causing me to lean further to 21:9.
Resolution - 3440x1440 or 3840 x 1600 for 21:9 (2560 x 1440 if I did go for 16:9)
Hz - min 144 - ideally more
Refresh rate - 1-3ms
Integrated speakers – Yes – very used to having them especially for virtual meetings, ideally don’t want to have to get external, but looks like I may have to? I have been surprised that so many high end monitors do not have them
Panel – VA or IPS?? – current is VA. I do find the colours can be a bit dull when gaming, however when working I have ‘night mode’ switched on else my eyes start hurting. Research showing the world seems to be a bit split, but maybe leans towards VA?
Other - current has AMD FreeSync, what should I be looking for here for the PS5?
I suppose I am asking if that is all logical, and given no such monitor may exist that ticks all the boxes at the right price... what should I compromise on 1^st, 2^nd etc.?
Many thanks!

I was in the gym and all the students were sitting on the bleachers. I guess a teacher was making us do exercises so there'd be items passed around that we'd have to use but we could also use them to prank someone or to use it for good.
I threw one of the items back, I think it was an egg and it hit this girl who's really pretty but a supreme bitch. She began to hold a grudge against me and we were both assigned to a new class together.
In the class, the room was L-shaped and in the smallest corner was a giant round table where a dozen students sat. The teacher was trying to teach a lesson about drug use and dangerous items and brought up the herb vervain (which was portrayed as a drug in the dream). This guy, who was my friend, gets up to practice how to appropriately act when presented with drugs, but he pulls out a needle, injects the vervain into his bloodstream and began seizing.
The teacher then had a "group discussion" where we all had to repeat a phrase, but depending who began the chant, they would be able to take control of everyone else. The girl who had a grudge towards me then decided to being the chant, and being forced by the teacher as if I was a troubled teen, I started saying the phrase.
My eyes rolled back and turned pure white, and I could feel my freedom being taken away as if it was part of my soul. I was now a slave. Her slave.
One of the hot, mean guys had the same thing going for him. He was dating my "master".
Now in the arctic, the hot guy was being controlled by the girl still and he developed a grudge against her because his girlfriend wouldn't give his freedom back. I escaped when she got far enough that her reach cut off and as I was running I bumped into the guy who also seemed to have escaped.
"I remember you.. I think we can help each other. It's clear you don't like her and I don't like her anymore" he told me. "Oh and by the way, the name's Cole." He left his hand out for me to shake but I was in too much shock for the action to register in my head.
He brought me to some kind of base and I was in a cellar with some kind of animal resembling small pigs with horns, not tusks, coming from behind their ears. The pig-like creatures were in crates with their eyes and bodies all white and faces forward. They had colorful tribal markings all over their body and were known kind of as minions, and were the most common slave pets. They are always in possession of the controller but if they don't have anyone to be attached to then they're dormant - standing in one spot staring at nothing. Some of them might occasionally twitch their ear or blink their eyes but without a human touch, they will stay frozen.
I saw the pigs before but I've never had one or been close to one. I moved my hand towards the horn, just for a feel, and the pig's head snapped towards me. Their mind control link had been activated and the pig started telepathically alerting it's master.. but it was in my head. "I love you, master." ... "What do you need me to do, master?" ... "Do you even know, master?" ... ... ... "ARE YOU STUPID?" The pig turned crazy and began rushing at me. "YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE TOUCHED ME."
A little girl comes in, her eyes pure white. She was just a slave, the poor child, repeating the same phrase over and over. "I will go home. Chay-Ara will take me home. Chay-ara loves me. I love Chay-Ara." She took one step closer. "I will go home. Chay-Ara will take me home. Chay-ara loves me. I love Chay-Ara." Another step closer. "I will go home. Chay-Ara will take me home. Chay-ara loves me. I love Chay-Ara." "I will go home. Chay-Ara will take me home. Chay-ara loves me. I love Chay-Ara..." I could feel the freedom drip off my lips as I was lured into the same prison I was in before, lured into Chay-Ara.. but something was different.

I was more conscious of my surroundings, and had decent control of myself. Maybe my immunity to her control lessened after the first time when I managed to break free.

Being back under her "control", I lead her to the base I was at and Cole and I planned to kill her. Set the place ablaze while she was stuck wandering around trying to find me. He and I ran out a hidden door in the basement where the pigs were stored and we ran off, my freewill seeping back into me and her curdling screams heard from the distance.

Hi Y'all! This morning, my team released ReacType 21.0, an open-source visual prototyping tool for React applications.
Key Features:

• Easily Drag-and-Drop HTML Elements into a canvas
• Render your prototype to see visual feedback as you make changes
• Style your components with the customization panel
• Import and Export your code via the code-preview tab
• Work with others in collaborative sessions

New Features Version 21.0 Updates:

• Added 49 pre-styled Material UI components to enhance your prototype, covering essential categories such as Inputs, Data Displays, Feedback, Surfaces, Navigation, Layout and Utils.
• Completely revamped the code preview functionality to manage import statements, state, event handlers, and other critical elements
• Updated the UI to accommodate both new and existing components

We would really appreciate it if you could check out our Github repo. You can also learn more on our website and on Medium. Please feel free to reach out with any questions! Thanks!

While refreshing a tab i opened a couple of days ago but hadn't finished reading, i found out the OP had deleted the content of that post and all of their comments (maybe edited out would be the right term here).
Every comment from OP in their thread is now a line of 10 random english words, followed by "This post was mass deleted and anonymized with (link to the app used)". Some quick research shows OP used the free version of that app, which only allows for mass deletion. As a result, every comment on their user profile is the same spammy gibberish.
In a way, reddit discussions are ephemeral in nature, as every popular post eventually dies out and disappears from your home feed in a few hours, a day at most. That doesn't mean they won't be valuable to someone finding them through a search engine weeks or months later. And even a day-old post is easier to find through Google than reddit's own search function.
While i understand some users need to delete their account in extreme circumstances (doxxing, harassment, etc.), let's assume it's not the case here; just someone casually deleting their comments on a regular basis like they would delete their browser cookies.
What would happen if a large portion of reddit users started doing the same ? Fresh posts would be untouched, but everything older than a few days or a week would gradually become unreadable. Posts older than a month would be frustratingly useless.
Do you see this as a minor annoyance, or something that shouldn't be allowed ? It can be argued it falls within reddit's definition of spam ("repeated, unwanted, or unsolicited manual or automated actions that negatively affect redditors, communities, and the Reddit platform"). Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Good Thinking guitar tabs download as PDF and Guitar Pro on: https://paidtabs.com/search/rwf9Bb6Zhgg
Click here for a free preview of the score (first page)
This score has 1 PDF page
Credit: this score was transcribed/uploaded by @Marcolaieh
If you cannot find the score, it might be because of a copyright issue. Click on "Request" button at PaidTabs.com to request and get the score.

Updates
The anticipated second wave of the spam update has begun
But it’s a bit of a Schrödinger’s cat situation—it has and hasn’t started at the same time. Google is deliberately not rushing to notify us about anything, even though sites have already started getting penalized.
When asked why the update hasn't been announced on the dashboard, Sullivan replied that only manual actions are currently being issued, while the algorithmic part hasn't begun yet.
On the bright side, there are already cases where manual penalties have been successfully removed from sites, leading to their search visibility being restored.
To recap, this “part” of the Spam Update concerns the Site reputation abuse policy, which Google announced in March along with Scaled content abuse and Expired domain abuse. Another point that must be mentioned is that Google has recently emphasized that Site reputation abuse isn't about linking; it’s about using another domain's reputation for your own benefit.
Sources:

• Google Search Central
  
• Search Engine Roundtable
  

Interface
Product review summary labels
Brief highlights of product features on review cards. Google is now showing these short summaries of reviews by placing a label over the review with one or a few words. So the labels might show "low quality," "compact," "lightweight," "performs well" and so on.
(to come) Number of shoppers next to site
Google plans to display the number of recent shoppers on your site in its search results. We’re talking about labels like "1K shopped here recently," data on which will be pulled from your Merchant Center.
The idea is to "build shopper confidence in your business."
However, many users are unhappy with their sales stats becoming publicly available even in this format. For such users, Google provides an option to opt out. But keep in mind that even then, Google will continue to use your data "to power various annotations and features that benefit your performance."
Source:

• Search Engine Roundtable

Local SEO
(test) Only local listing for ‘near me’ queries
In an experiment, Google is showing only GBP listings for “X near me” queries. Not a single traditional snippet leading to websites.
Source:

• Search Engine Roundtable

Tidbits
1) Yesterday’s Google I/O presentation
The search giant has announced their new developments related to AI.
Here’s what stood out: SGE is finally going live this week under the name AI Overviews. For the time being, it will only be available to users in the US “with more countries coming soon”.
Danny Sullivan claims that the feature has almost fully been rolled out. He also mentioned that people use search more when this feature is available, and are ultimately more satisfied with the results. And all of this comes despite SGE’s earlier advice suggesting that users drink urine to treat kidney stones.
Oh, well..)
A number of other new features were announced, which will be available only for the US market in English through Search Labs:

• Ask complex questions that require multi-step planning.
• Interrupt answer generation to refine or modify your query.
• Plan ahead, like meal plans for three days.
• For broad queries, AI will group results into subcategories (see example for clarity).
• Google Lens will now work not only with photos but also with live videos—you can film something and ask questions about what's in the frame.

We must mention that OpenAI’s CEO Sam Altman decided to steal some of Google’s thunder by releasing a new product that “feels like magic” just a day before the search colossal’s I/O.
Everyone speculated about what it might be—a search engine, a voice assistant... Altman said that the team has been working extra hard on the update, and it turned out to be quite the gem.
2) The super product turned out to be GPT-4o
What makes GPT-4o so gosh darn fantastic?
The big news is that the team over at OpenAI has improved its multimodal voice assistant. Now it clearly understands text, photos, and videos.
Moreover, you can talk to the model in real-time, get it to translate conversations, understand and explain code, share your camera and ask questions about what’s in the view. To boot, I was just blown away by its ability to sing, tell stories with intonation, and keep a conversation going even if I occasionally interrupt it.
The best part? Chat mode will be free for everyone!
Plus, the API will be available at half the cost of Turbo, with five times the usage limits and twice the speed. We'll start getting access to this amazing tool in the coming weeks.
They also hinted at real-time search features, but this wasn't included in the final demo.
3) By the way, Apple is considering a partnership with OpenAI
Their goal is to make ChatGPT available on iPhones, starting with iOS 18, which will open up a whole range of AI-powered possibilities for Apple smartphone device owners.
For context, there have already been discussions that Siri “doesn't measure up” by modern standards and needs a “brain transplant.”
Sources:

• OpenAI
  
• Bloomberg
  
• The New York Times
  

It's a really small question probably not worthy of a whole topic but there's no sticky and I can't find the answer in Arc's keyboard shortcuts pane.
A lot of the time I'm pretty much done with the current tab and want to go to a different website or use a custom search function, so I end up just creating a new tab because there's a keyboard shortcut for that. But is there a way to do that for the current tab instead?

Hiya! This is gonna be a quick intro guide to Runeterra for everyone who is interested in getting more into the lore, throw down some combos or just misclicked the TFT tab in the League client.
First off, what is LoR?
LoR is a fully free-to-play card game based on the champions and world of League of Legends. You can play both PvE (called The Path of Champions) and PvP. PvE is the focus of the game going forward so that is where most of the big changes in patch notes will be focussed towards.
The Path of Champions
Shining in the bottom right of the home screen and also in the side tabs are access to TPoC. This is a single player roguelike mode where you select a champion and the prebuilt deck alongside it and set out on challenges.
Each challenge route varies in length and difficulty, indicated by their star level. Throughout each route, you will get access to powerups that both affect your whole playstyle and also individual card in your deck. You will also be able to add new cards to the deck for the rest of that run.
Champions can be unlocked by spending their unique fragments. Excess fragments can be used to “Star Up” that champion, granting a permanent buff to your playstyle. Starring Up can require some grinding, so I’d recommend only going to 2 stars on a champ before you reach Asol or Lissandra. Wild fragments are universal in use and can be obtained through completing missions.
PvP
Previously the premiere gamemode of LoR, PvP contains a ranked ladder that ranges from Iron to Master. This gamemode is based on deck building and then testing your brews against others at your level.
Deck building is done through collecting cards via the Weekly Chests (which give more valuable and numerous rewards based on how much you’ve played), Green Essence and Wildcards.
Each deck is made up of 40 cards from up to two regions. You can have up to 3 copies of a certain card in your deck and a max of 6 Champion cards.
Wildcards can be used to purchase any card that matches it’s rarity (the gem at the bottom) and Green Essence can be spent on any card.
As an intrinsically f2p game, you cannot dump a ton of money in to buy up decks. There is actually a limit on how many wildcards you can purchase per day, which means if you want to build your collection then playing is your best option.
Unfortunately, there are no official Riot tournaments for the foreseeable future so there isn’t a higher echelon of play currently. There are community tournaments popping up which are generally advertised on X where you can fill your competitive desires.
There are more comprehensive guides for both TPoC and PvP in the subreddit which I’ll link when I come across them, this was aimed as a whistlestop tour of the modes.
I hope you enjoy the game and welcome to LoR 😊!

What started as a panicked attempt to get her over-intoxicated friend to a hospital ended up in a disastrous car crash that claimed the lives of her friends... and a careless God crossing the street. But Sammi's adventure wasn't about to end there. In her dying breath, the God curses Sammi to take up her mantel. Now with her three friends resurrected as ghosts, Sammi has to navigate the tricky world of godhood.
Previous Chapter Next chapter coming soon!
Start here! Patreon (up to chapter 9)
I love houses. House flipping, house hunting, crazy properties in town, gorgeous exotic vacation destinations. I think in a past life I was a real estate agent. Or a carpenter. Interior designer, actually, probably. Maybe just rich?
Doesn’t matter. I love houses, and I was gonna get myself the best digs in town.
“Best digs in town might be a liiiiittle suspicious?” Joni said as I began adjusting the filters of my favorite search: Lottery houses.
“So do you… we’re looking for a house?” Cara was leaning over my shoulder, watching as I pushed the Rooms, Cost, Square Footage, and Bathrooms options as high as I could. “Cause if you don’t even own a place, I feel like saying you’d answer my questions when we got to New Olympia is kinda a blow off.”
“Not a blow off,” I said. “This probably won’t take too too long. I just don’t want to kick anyone out of their house that, like, is a regular person living their life.”
“Kick them out?”
I paused and looked up at Cara, eyes serious. “Please. The parroting. It’s making me nervous.” Then I looked back down and began sifting through various mansions, penthouses, lake houses, villas. “For sale or for rent?”
“For rent,” Blair said immediately. She propped her head up on her chin as she watched me scroll. “Then you don’t gotta kick anyone out.”
“She’s got a point,” Christopher said. “Both from a, like, humanitarian point of view but also from a logistical point of view. Whoever’s moving needs the money pronto to buy a new house and they’re gonna constantly be dealing with banks and shit. You’d need a new lie a day just to keep them off you. But with rentals and all, first off, landlords renting out ten grand a month properties are already making bank off other units. Yeah you’re screwing them over, but not as bad. They got a buncha others. Second, you pay monthly, so you really only gotta fend them off once a month.”
My thumb jammed the “For Rent/For Sale” switch, and I cranked up the rental price. “What else are we thinking for criteria?”
“Middle of town’s a bad idea,” Joni said. “Too easy to find us.”
“We don’t have to, like, hide though,” Christopher said. “Just say you’re both out on bail. I mean, the point is to find Miller and bring him to justice, right? That’s gonna take time. There’s no place far enough out of town that we could hide in for long.”
I squinted at him, tearing my eyes away from a sexy seven bedroom manor with two pools. “What?”
He sighed, as if convinced that I was in the wrong for not understanding what fuck he just said. “Like, think about it Sammi. We’re not actually gonna be able to hide. Or if we are, it’s gonna be in an alley or some shit.” He wrinkled his nose at the same time I did. “They’re cops with detectives and shit, and they think we shot someone and broke someone else out of jail. They’re gonna find us. We’ll have to lie, not hide, to avoid being put back. So may as well be local to all the action.” With this, he pointed directly at a lofty unit in the center of town.
Hmm. He brought up a valid point, so I checked it out.
A five bedroom penthouse with three terraces giving outdoor views of the entire city. Bathrooms that put the hotel to shame. Closets the size of my old bedroom. A pool deck. Appliances with fancy brand names I only ever heard on episodes of “Dream House” and hadn’t actually realized existed in the real world. Enough bedrooms for me, Cara, and the ghosts to each sleep separately.
For a moment, the enormity of it washed over me. Not just the enormity of the house, though it was enormous, but the reality of what I could accomplish. This apartment was twenty five thousand dollars a month. I’m not entirely sure I’ve made that much money in my life. Or, okay, probably around that, but that’s my point. This was the kind of unit rich people showed off in out-of-touch blogs or escapist shows about the lifestyles of famous people. And it could literally be mine if I could play my cards right. Or not even right. Just not catastrophically wrong.
Cause I was a God. And for the first time since becoming a God, I was using my abilities, my status, my familiars and shit to do something cool. Not rob a TechShack of some earpods or break in or out of a hospital.
This was a big yield.
As I had my little epiphany, Cara had taken over scrolling my phone, much to the relief of my ghosts, who’d started grumbling about the static screen while I zoned out.
“Okay.” Cara looked at me. “I’m not gonna ask any of the questions you know I want to ask, cause that’ll just piss you off.” Thank God she was learning. “So we’ll skip that for now and ask the really important question. How are you gonna get your hands on this place?”
–
Step 1 was to get to the place, which kinda sucked, given we were still at Pizza Dogs. It just wasn’t a very cool start to the coolest scheme I’d ever pulled off. Luckily Pizza Dogs closed at 9, so a solid number of people were leaving the restaurant. I was able to wave down a waitress who’d just checked off of her shift and convince her she was a taxi driver.
“You’re really loving this whole taxiing thing, huh?” Christopher said.
“At least she’s not talking like a robot trying to use slang.” I grit my teeth at the memory of Cops Cop and Taxi Service.
“No, you just told her she was mute.” Blair stuck her lip out. “That’s mean, Sammi.”
“I told her she couldn’t talk. That’s different.” I gave Cara a weak smile, but she hadn’t even commented on my ghost talking. She just buried her face in her hands. See? Learning.
Step 2 was gonna be actually getting in the unit. The listing on HouzeHunting didn’t exactly have the name of the landlord on it, so I was gonna have to get creative getting in touch with them. What it did have was ‘24 hour doorman service,’ which meant getting in would be easy peasy.
Finally we pulled up to the address I’d given our driver. 1732 East Windham Street. She leaned out the window, looking up the seventy story building.
“It’s totally appropriate for you to talk now,” I said as I scrambled out, towing Cara with me. No sense in actually making her mute for life.
The woman nodded. “You, uh, live here or visiting? If you don’t mind me asking.”
I flipped my wad of black hair over my shoulder, wincing at how singularly it moved. I shoulda combed it after my bath yesterday.
“Live here, obviously.” I gave a rich person kinda snort, nose in the air and all.
“Huh.” She looked back at me, rubbing the back of her neck as if it was sore from craning up so high. “But you needed a taxi to get here?”
“Uh.” Rich people used taxis, right? On the ladder from Sammi to Bill Gates, someone had to use them, and if I couldn’t afford a taxi normally, then the typical passenger must exist somewhere above me. “My fancy personal car got towed cause I was parking it in a fire lane.”
The woman didn’t look convinced. Not that she thought I was lying, but she still looked at me like I was dumb as dirt. “You don’t have, like, a personal driver?”
I cocked my head at her, trying to mirror Joni’s sassy tilt but probably just looking confused. “Are you offering?”
Her lips parted, and I could see her brain chewing on this question. “What do you… wait, are you being serious?”
Was I? Suddenly I wasn’t sure. Having a personal chauffeur could be kinda great. Someone always available to text or call when I needed a ride so I wouldn’t have to keep remembering where I left my car. Besides, driving made me nervous. I’d never been a particularly bad driver, no prior accidents, never really hit anything in the past, unless we’re counting bumper cars. Which we’re not, cause I’m a menace in bumper cars. But that’s like the point.
Or, no, the point was, I wanted to minimize driving, and this woman could be key. Of course, I knew nothing about her. What if she had a family at home and I told a too strong lie and she never saw them again?
But then, she wouldn’t be offering if she wasn’t serious, right? Sure I’d lied and told her she was a taxi driver, but the average every day taxi driver didn’t just ditch their families to be rich people’s chauffeur’s.
“Uh. Yeah.” I looked at the ghosts. Two thumbs up from Christopher, one from Blair, and two thumbs down from Joni. That was a total of one thumbs up, if my math was right. “Yeah, I pay ten thousand a month.” We could figure that out later.
The woman’s eyes shot open. “Okay, you’re actually fucking with me. You’re actually offering to hire me for ten thousand a month.”
I nodded. “Yeah. And you can… I mean, if you got your own place, you can stay there obviously but you could also stay in one of my bedrooms. I got some extra ones I was gonna give to the gho–uh, dogs. But I don’t have dogs, so you were next on the list. Well, a chauffeur was next on the list. But also if you’ve got–do you have a family?”
Each of my statements plunked out of my mouth like gumballs out of a broken candy machine. But she just kept nodding like this was a normal proposal.
“I mean, I had a boyfriend.” Her face flushed crimson. “Kinda embarrassing to say at my age. Thought we were–” She took a deep breath. “Thought he was the one. I’m not gonna say I was looking to have kids or anything, so I suppose age doesn’t matter, but that doesn’t mean I really want to start over. Five years wasted is all, and at my age, the well starts to dry up a bit. People look at you a bit…” She blinked. “I’m sorry, that’s not really what you asked, was it.”
It wasn’t entirely, but I was kinda hooked on the story now. “Yeah it was,” I said. “It was the first question in the interview, and you’re nailing it. Uh, you actually already passed the first round. Let’s take the rest inside.”
The woman let out a shaky breath and smoothed her frizzled hair. “Right, of course. Thank you so much!”
Cara had, thank God, kept her mouth shut this whole interview process, so I just towed my newly formed posse towards the doorman.
“My key got lost,” I said confidently and too quickly, noticing way late that there weren’t any visible keyholes anywhere on the door. “Uh…” I looked nervously at the ghosts.
“Just tell him someone said he should let you in,” Joni said.
“Yeah.” Blair smiled. “Carl from management.”
“No–”
“Carl from management said you should let me in,” I said, bowling over Joni’s protests. “I own that top penthouse suite. Suite 72. The one for rent. Or, not for rent cause I’m renting it now. And I called earlier because my key is broken and Carl your manager said–”
I stopped finally because the doorman had long since stopped frowning perplexedly at me and had just tapped his card against the door.
“Haha,” I said, verbalizing the laugh a little too hard. “Look at me, talking too much as always.”
He frowned again, but nodded nonetheless, before holding the door open for me. “Here you are.”
“Thank you so much,” I said, stepping in like a real fancy lady. “I’ve got it from here.”
And, because I was stupid and always spoke without thinking, he nodded and shut the door behind me.
So technically Step 2 ‘get in’ was done, but it was like, barely done. Like when your mom says ‘go to your room’ so you sit in the doorway. Cause I wasn’t really close to my new apartment yet, which meant a new step on the list. Step 3? Get into New Olympia.
Somehow a little sneaky ‘Step 3b, interview your new chauffeur’ had snuck on the list too, but that would be easy to finish once I got to the actual unit.
It was literally impossible to keep my jaw in its socket as we walked through the lobby. I was actually straight up speechless at how fancy it all was. There was a bar in the lobby, like this was some hotel! Given my experience with rich people things, it was either totally free or thirty bucks a glass. Still, it was pricey enough that I should probably have been charged just for looking at it. Even Cara and the driver had their mouths gaping open as they looked around, taking in the mirror shiny marbely floors and columns.
I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath, and really tried to capture this moment of peace and quiet inside the lobby of my new home.
“Blair stop humming, they’ll be able to hear you.”
“I’m using my regular humming, not my banshee humming.”
“My bad, shoulda clarified. I’m able to hear you, and you’re annoying me.”
“Joni, why are you always so mean.”
“She’s, like, kinda got a point. You need to get that stick out of your ass.”
“I’ll get the stick out of my ass when Blair stops humming.”
“Bro, it’s totally more than the humming, and you know it.”
“Is singing okay?”
“No.”
“What about–”
“Why don’t you just whistle, Blair?”
“That’s not nice. You know I can’t whistle.”
“Kinda my point.”
“Hey, be nice to Blair, Joni.”
Peace and quiet were overrated anyway. We were here for schemes.
My eyelids snapped open. In front of me was a big old reddish wood desk. The sign on it said “Main desk, open 7AM to 9 PM.” Next to it was another, more temporary sign, “Partial Service After Hours. Ring Bell For Assisance.”
My eyes drifted hungrily to the shiny golden bell. It was the kind you see in movies and shows, you press down a few times to summon the waiter or whoever sits behind the desk.
“Just once, Sammi,” Joni said, already reading my mind. “You ring it once.”
“But Joni,” I whispered, hand hovering over it, “I’m a God.”
DING DING DING DING DING DING DING
Seven was overkill. The man was there after the first two rings. But I couldn’t stop. It was too satisfying.
He regarded me with pained eyes. “Ma’am, you didn’t have to ring it that many times.”
“I didn’t,” I said confidently. And just like that, the pained look vanished. He didn’t look comfortable though, probably because I didn’t look like I should be there. Time to fix that.
I jutted my chin out. “Is there, like, a master key to all the elevators and units you can give me.”
The guy blinked rapidly. “I’m… sorry, you want what?”
“Lies, Sammi. That was a request!”
This is why we needed Joni and the stick up her ass.
“Uh.”
“Tell him that… I don’t know, someone from management said you could borrow a skeleton key.”
I smiled. “Carl from management told me I could have a skeleton key. A, you know, a key that opens all the doors.” I gave Joni a panicked glance.
She motioned her finger in a repeating loop and mouthed ‘go on.’
“And.” I swallowed. “You said you would give us one.”
The concierge sighed. “I know. I know. I just.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Carl doesn’t manage my department, so if this isn’t the right call, Sandy’s gonna have my head.”
I eyed the ghosts nervously. The lie had worked but it didn’t seem to fully convince him. “Sandy said…”
“Keep it simple,” Joni hissed.
“...that you would give me a key to let me in?”
“Right, please hold a moment, it’s almost done transferring.” The concierge paused and looked at a key card on his desk. He squinted before picking it up and beeping it against a little card pad. It flashed red. “I’m sorry,” he said. “The transfer didn’t go through right. One moment please.” Then he typed on his computer for a few very long minutes while Cara, the driver, and I all stood frozen by the elevator. After several breath-holding moments of silence (yeah, now the ghosts decide to shut up) he tapped the card again and it flashed green. “There we go.”
I let out a long breath before scuttling over to pick up my card. “Thank you!” I said, a cheery forced grin on my face. “Thank you so much! Remember, this came from, uh, Sandy’s boss, and she told you not to tell Sandy, so keep it zipped!”
He mimed zipping his lips as I waved again before rushing to the elevator.
Soon we were zooming up dozens and dozens of levels as my breathing came more and more naturally. Even the elevator was fancy. All golden mirrors, which Blair was staring at, disappointed that she couldn’t see her reflection in them.
There was no one on the seventy second story and ther was only one door, at the end of a gleaming hardwood hallway. My black boots clomped awkwardly as I escorted the driver–still in a bright orange shirt with a barking dog and a slice of pizza on it–and Cara–still in an orange jumpsuit–towards the door at the end.
Once I got there, I tapped my card, and we were in.
I don’t really have good words to describe the place. Huge, for one. Empty for another. Those were the two big ones. I could have gawked at it all, but I was a little tired of gawking, so I filed away ‘tour my house and get it fitted out’ for later. Besides, I had all my gear and shit still in my car… somewhere. I’d get it up here eventually and then the real decorating could start.
But there was a first step. Well two first steps. Okay, technically only one could be the first step, so we’ll do that first.
I waved Cara to join me in one of the bedrooms.
“I’ll finish your interview in like, fifteen minutes,” I said to the driver. She nodded.
“Okay,” I said, closing the door behind me and plopping down on the ground.
Cara stood awkwardly, eyeing the big ass empty room with a big ass empty bathroom off to the side. “Okay,” she said, still standing. “Do I need to–”
“No no, I said I would…” I trailed off, lips pursed and confused. “You wanted… Or… I was gonna tell you–”
“Oh shit yeah.” Now suddenly Cara was on the floor across from me, leaning in. “You’re telling me what the fuck is going on.”
My breath rushed out in a long woosh as I contemplated how to start this. Joni had made a snarky comment at one point like ‘pushing this off won’t make it easier’ and I’d responded with a ‘I’ll come up with a plan while I delay’ which of course I hadn’t, and now I was angry cause Joni was right.
“So the problem is,” I said, starting slowly. “Everything I tell you, you’ll believe.”
“Obviously,” Cara said, believing me instantly.
“But no one else but me knows what’s going on. So I can’t help but…” I trailed off again, noticing Cara nodding animatedly. This wasn’t working. I wanted her to believe me cause she fully understood and accepted my story, not cause of magic. But to get that, I couldn’t be the one to tell her, and the only other people who knew about my godliness were the ghosts and–
I smacked myself on the face. Sammi, you’re a genius. An actual, mensa accredited whiz kid.
“Blair,” I said, smiling. “I think I’ll offload this to you.”
Blair frowned, scrunching her nose up for a moment, before pointing at herself. “Me?”
I nodded confidently. Blair knew everything but lacked the Verity Tongue. This would be a sinch.
“Cara, how do you feel about a little ghost story?” I shivered a bit, getting goosebumps at my own words. Now that lead-in was brilliant. ‘A little ghost story’, who came up with that? I was getting smarter by the minute.
“Oooooooooooooh.” Blair zoomed around the room, and Cara leapt to her feet.
“What the fuck?”
“Bewaaaaare moooooortal,” Blair droned, pitching her voice low. “For the story you’re about to hear is both dreadful and awwwwwful. Fear for your soul for those who hear this story are cursed and will find themselves in an early–”
“Blair!” I shouted. “Stop that. What the fuck? Literally not like that. Like literally anything but that. You need to start with–”
“Yo, Sammi, dawg, chill.” Christopher patted my back. “We’ll help her out.”
“Yeah, you don’t want to taint the story with your god powers,” Joni said. “We’ll sort Blair. You interview the pizza waitress.”
Suddenly my genius felt like the opposite of genius. Yeah, delegation was important, but I did want to hear what the ghosts were telling Cara. Didn’t I need to know? What if they told her something totally wrong and stupid? Or what if they said something mean? Like what if they really played up the part about my reckless speeding? What if they lied about something? Made me look incompetent.
I opened my mouth to protest, but Christopher just gave me an icy pat again.
“Look, you’re gonna jump in to correct something we say, and it’s just gonna fuck up Cara.” He gave me a serious look, one of the most serious looks he’d given me since this whole ordeal. Which was honestly kinda stupid cause of all the times to pull out there ‘seriously, Sammi’ face, he was picking now? Was this really the right time for this? “Seriously, Sammi. We got this.”
I didn’t believe him at all, but they were absolutely right about me likely fucking this up with my motor mouth. No way was I sitting still while Joni made snarky comments about me, like, eating gross bagels or telling cops to steal poop.
“All right,” I said. “Come out when you’re done. Or if you need hands at all. Like if she passes out and you need to check for a pulse.”
“Are you talking to me?” Cara said.
“No. I’m talking to the ghosts.” And with that I closed the door.
Looks like Sammi's got a house! And maybe a minion or two on top of her familiars. Let's see how Cara takes all of this...

First / Previous
Back on the job, my eyes kept going to the camera that was on enclosure one. Andrew told me its real name, but I think that’d be a step too far, putting that out on the internet. I’d just stick with ‘Steve the bear’. Whatever it was, I just knew I’d have a nightmare about it eventually. Last night I slept fitfully but okay. But I know my brain, and I’d already had a nightmare about Yui stabbing me with one of her legs (they are not needle-sharp in real life, this was dream logic) and walking around, having not noticed I was a Ripley-kebab on her leg. I kept trying to get her attention but for some reason I’d been worried about sounding rude.
On my third walk around the zoo, at about 12 a.m. I saw Leila again, who I’d been noticing more and more often. She never looked interested in talking, only walking through the enclosures, and by that I meant any and all of them. She didn’t seem to have a favorite. I assume that however much of her mind that was left over from being alive still gravitated toward looking at the animals, since getting too close was what killed her in the first place.
Then, in enclosure eight, I saw a new creature and stopped abruptly. This one looked chill, but I wasn’t about to make any assumptions. It looked unique in a strange way, shaped like a giant lizard but built like a big cat of some sort. It had an uncanny valley human face, green hair for a mane, and also a horn like a unicorn. It felt like something drawn by an imaginative five-year-old brought to life, but was still somehow oddly endearing.
“Hello,” she spoke, noticing me noticing her. Her voice was distinctly female and oddly deep.
“Hello,” I responded with false cheer.
She pushed herself to her feet and I took an instinctive step back, but she seem to notice, much less take offense. “You’re the guard here?”
“Yup. That’s me.”
“Thank you.”
I blinked, taken aback. “Ah…you’re welcome. For what?”
She cocked her head. “For guarding me.”
That was different. Most of the impressions I had gotten from the animals so far were that they wanted to eat me. And the idea that this one was thankful for me doing my job was refreshing, don’t get me wrong, but made me wary. Call me a cynic, I guess.
“My name is tàiyang. You can call me Sun,” she told me.
“Hi, Sun. I’m Ripley.”
Then she looked toward the sky. “It’s going to rain tonight.”
After a thoughtful moment, I asked, “Does that make you sad?”
“Why would it make you sad?”
I smiled. “Because your name is Sun.”
She paused and then said, “I don’t understand.”
Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, telling a pun to one of the animals. “Never mind.” I glanced up at the sky. “I thought the rain is supposed to stay away from here. Are the ones who told me that wrong?”
“Yes.”
“Well that’s good to know,” I murmured to myself, thinking of my raincoat hanging in the security office closet. It wasn’t that surprising, honestly. Sometimes I felt like the meteorologists in Arkansas try to read the entrails of goats to figure out the weather. It’s all a mess and it’s all made up.
At that, the animal looked to the sky and fell silent. She appeared to be the most uneventful introduction I’d had so far, and I was incredibly grateful for it. Except then the animal kept talking. “He’s under a spell.”
I blinked. “What?”
She looked back to me. “Andrew. He’s under a spell. He’s very unhappy.”
I had no idea how to react to that. For a second I just stared. The sudden jolt of being told my boss was currently being afflicted by magic left me floundering. “He… What?” I finally asked. “Where is he?”
“In his office.”
Oh shit. My eyes instinctively darted in the direction of the main office. I always just entered through the door on the west side of the building, of course, since it led to the security room. It was unnecessary for me to go through the door that first led into the lobby-slash-office Andrew worked out of. Sometimes he even left early, so it was locked anyway. I had the key, but again, it was unnecessary.
Whatever had happened, assuming this animal wasn’t joking around (she seemed completely serious), I needed to establish whether she was right. Leaving the enclosure of the animal I’d just met, I quickly walked back to the small building.
Taking a deep breath, I knocked loudly. “Andrew, are you in there?”
The only reply was silence. I stood there until enough time had passed that it was obvious that no one was coming to answer the door. Taking out my phone, I dialed his cell number and wait as it rang. Then I grimaced when I heard it ringing inside.
Hanging up and shoving the phone back in my pocket, I stared at the closed door.
Trying the doorknob, I found that it was unlocked, and my heart skipped a beat. Andrew always locked his office before leaving. Opening the door slowly, the lights were off in the room, leaving only the faint red glow of the lights outside peeking around his curtains, so I turned on a light. Then my heart plummeted into my stomach, because there was Andrew, splayed limply on the ground, his eyes only half open.
I bolted to him and dropped to his side as he let out a whimper.
“Andrew,” I said, putting two fingers to the side of his neck. He remained silent, and despite his relaxed, wilted appearance, his heart was racing, and I wondered if he was in pain. The room smelled, and it was clear to me that he’d lost control of his bowels. I couldn’t believe I’d been working here for hours without knowing he was in the next room like this.
“Fucking hell. I’m so sorry it took me so long to find you. Can you hear me? What happened?” He made a small sound, unfocused eyes attempting to meet mine, but it was as if he were severely deprived of sleep or something, unable to focus. His mouth opened and he tried to say something, but he couldn’t speak. All I got was halting words mushed into each other. I felt for him; he must’ve been mortified by his condition. I would’ve been, at least.
The obvious solution would be to get Suzanne’s number from Andrew’s phone, so I searched him for it and found it in his right jacket pocket. I pressed the button the iPhone, swiped, and let out a sigh of frustration. He was security conscious enough to lock his phone with a code, of course.
“Can you… You can’t tell me the code,” I said knowing. He grunted quietly.
“What happened?”
I shrieked and jumped to my feet. Leila stood in the doorway, staring in shock at Andrew’s body. “You scared the bejesus out of me,” I exclaimed. I stopped myself before asking if she could make some noise when she moved or if I could put a bell on her. “What does it look like happened? Someone put a spell on him.” Abruptly, my stance changed, standing up straight. “Wait. Do you know how to get in touch with…anyone?” I asked desperately.
“I know Ms. Cooper’s phone number,” she said frankly.
My eyes widened. “Seriously? How?”
“Andrew gave it to me after I worked here for three months.”
That stopped my brain dead in its tracks. “You…used to work here?” I whispered. I remembered Andrew telling me that one of the night shift managers had been killed, but he hadn’t told me it was Leila. Whether it was for her own privacy or her dignity or some other reason, it didn’t really matter. What mattered was that I could call Suzanne.
“I worked here for three months,” Leila confirmed as I took out my own phone.
“Okay…what’s her number?” I asked, ready to dial. She rattled off the number and dialed it.
The phone rang twice times before someone answered. “Hello?”
“Hi, is this Suzanne?”
“Yes, who’s this?”
She had a British accent like Andrew did. I took a deep breath and said, “It’s Ripley Mason. I got your number from Leila. I’m here in Andrew’s office and he’s in really bad shape. Someone cast a spell on him and it’s like he’s lost control of the part of his brain that lets him move around and speak.”
“What?” she snapped. “What happened?”
“I-I don’t know,” I said, glancing back to Andrew. He actually looked calmer now, and I hoped that was because he knew Suzanne could fix this. “I was doing my rounds and I met Sun; she’s the one that told me and that’s why I came into his office. I don’t- Who would do this? What do I do?”
“It’s okay, Ripley. I’ll leaving now and will be there soon,” she told me. I heard rustling in the background, the sounds of getting out of a chair and footsteps. “Did you check the security cameras?”
My eyes shut in irritation against my stupidity. It hadn’t even occurred to me. “I’m sorry. Of course, I’ll do that right away.” Proof positive that I was completely out of it. Some security guard I was, not even able to keep my head in an emergency.
“Don’t apologize, Ripley, you’re quite within your rights to be discombobulated at the moment,” she said. “And I’d like you stay with Andrew, but I would prefer to know what happened. Leave his side just for a second to check the footage.
“Okay.” I crouched down to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll be right back.” His eyes flicked to me, but he didn’t make a sound. Getting back to my feet and walking over to the security room door, I went in and sat at my desk, putting the phone on speaker so I could more easily navigate the footage.
After fidgeting around with the unfamiliar aspect of the program, since I’d never needed to look back before and Andrew only showed me how to do it once, I finally went back to the point where the spell had been cast. “Okay, he walked into his office with two men at…4:08 p.m. and it looks like he was fine with it. He wasn’t under duress, from what I can see.”
“That’s likely Michael Wise and Eric Henry,” Suzanne told me. “They were allegedly making a donation, a herd of Bagot goats.”
“Allegedly?”
“Well, I’m operating under the assumption that they lied if Andrew is spelled.”
I grimaced. That was a good point. Watching them have a conversation, I saw Andrew tense, and then turn to dart toward his desk, but he only made it two steps before one of the men raised what looked like a wand, snapping it in my late boss’s direction, speaking something. As I saw Andrew’s body seize like he’d been hit with a taser and collapse, I hissed in a sharp breath. “Cripes.”
“What is it?”
“One of them had a wand,” I managed. “He-He did something with it.”
“I’m here, Ripley. Come back to the office.”
My eyes widened and I did as I was told, stunned to see her opening the front door. “How did you get here so fast?” I asked.
The woman gave me a small smile, rendered grim by the situation. “Call it a trick of the trade.”
“Oh. Gotcha.”
Suzanne was all hard edges, her pin-straight blond hair cut at an angle just below her ears, and she wore a smart blue pants suit with matching pumps. But then she looked to Andrew and her face softened, despair and fury flashing across it as she quickly walked to him and knelt at his side, taking his weak hand in hers.
“Oh, Andrew,” she whispered. “I’m so, so sorry. You’ll be okay. I already texted a healer and asked her to come by. A friend of mine named Janine.”
I looked back to Andrew’s face, his eyes open and his expression one of exhaustion, but then quickly looked to Suzanne. “Why would someone do this?” I asked.
“I have a feeling at least one of our animals is missing,” she told me, her voice low and hard.
Anger flared up in me. “What?” I asked tersely. I glanced back in the direction of the cameras. “Should we check the cameras to see which enclosure they went to? Do we- Are there cops you can call for this? What do we do?”
Suzanne’s face slowly faded to sadness. “I’ll take care of it,” she said. “You’re accurate in that I do have a different police I’ll call about this. But there’s a good chance we won’t get the animal back.”
“Wait, why? Come on, there’s got to be magic you could do, right?” I asked anxiously.
“The animal will have been warded and sold to someone immediately,” she explained. “They would’ve had a buyer set up, and gone straight there to reduce the risk of being caught with it. Anyone who is buying an animal like this is extremely powerful, which means that even if we catch the men who stole it, they’d go to prison, but they wouldn’t risk angering the buyer. They won’t tell the authorities who it was, even for a lesser sentence. Losing an animal to robbery has only happened twice in the zoo’s history, this is the third time, but that’s how it played out both times. Actually, in the first instance, the police didn’t even catch the people who took it, since they were wearing masks.”
Just then, there was a knock at the door, and Suzanne pushed herself to her feet, walking over and opening it without hesitation. “He’s in here.” I took the opportunity to open the windows and turned down the thermostat so it would start displacing the smelly air.
A woman walked in, Janine presumably. “Oh, goodness,” she breathed, going quickly to Andrew. She took his pulse with one hand as she pulled a wand out from her purse with the other. “It’s good he’s staying calm. Redire orior can be terrifying to be subjected to.”
“He wasn’t calm when I got here,” I told her quietly. “I’ve been here for hours and didn’t know he was here until just a few minutes ago.”
Janine swore softly. “All right. Let me get started.”
I didn’t know what that meant, so I turned to Suzanne. “What did she call this?”
“The spell is ‘redire orior’. It’s a regression of part of the mind, basically all the way back to when we were first born,” she said tightly, anger flickering across her face. “He has no more control over his body than he did when he was a newborn baby.”
I grimaced, looking back to him. “Oh my god,” I whispered. It meant exactly what it had looked like when I’d walked in: Andrew had been rendered completely helpless. Rage welled up inside me, despising the men who’d done this and wishing desperately that Suzanne had been more confident in finding them.
Suzanne took the opportunity to walk into the security office and I heard her sit in my chair. Janine put down her wand to have both hands free and told Andrew, “Just relax, concentrate on breathing slowly,” she said, carefully pulling both of his legs out and rolling him onto his back. She then put his arms at his sides and, picking up her wand, pointed it at his forehead.
I took in a sharp breath of surprise as I saw a faint glow coming from the wand, through the top of it and then to Andrew’s forehead. She held that position for a while, muttering under her breath.
A few minutes later, Suzanne came out and took her phone from her pocket, saying, “I don’t recognize either of the men in the footage. But they seemed distressed, particularly the one that didn’t hurt Andrew. I don’t think that’s what was meant to happen.”
“Meant to or not, it happened,” I muttered through clenched teeth. I’d already decided that my new to-do list every day included first checking the office cameras.
“Andrew,” Janine said, letting the glow fade. “Can you speak?”
“I…yeah,” he whispered.
Suzanne came over to my side. “Thank goodness. How are you feeling? How’s the vertigo?”
“Pretty much gone,” he said, closing his eyes for a long moment, though he didn’t try to stand up.
“Andrew, I pulled up the cameras in the office and listened to the audio,” she told him. “I know what happened.”
My eyebrows furrowed. “The cameras have audio?”
“It’s under admin privileges, but yes. Andrew, you should have known better,” she said softly, looking back to him. “The gun in one of the desk drawers? I presume that’s what you were lunging for, because those two men had just made it clear they were here for an animal.”
“Yeah,” he sighed. “I just…” He looked distraught.
“They told you to just let them get what they came for,” Suzanne said. “Why didn’t you?” My lips parted in shock.
“The last time this happened, I cooperated, but…I regretted it,” he growled. “We never saw Harriet again. I couldn’t just stand here and let them do whatever they wanted. Not again.” I assumed Harriet was one of their animals, but I didn’t ask.
“Don’t ever do something so foolish again,” she told him, on the verge of being upset, her emotions likely tempered by his condition. “I want to make it clear to you that this job, these animals, they’re immensely important, but they are not worth your life. He could have killed you. If someone gains access to the zoo again to steal an animal I want you to cooperate fully. Understood?”
“Yeah,” Andrew muttered.
The idea that Andrew had tried to bring a gun to a wand fight was staggering. Something heavy curled in my stomach at the thought. It was clear he cared about the wellbeing of the animals to a degree I hadn’t comprehended.
Janine took one of the small pillows from the couch and tucked it under Andrew’s head as Suzanne continued. “All right,” she said with a sigh. “I’ll go through the footage to determine what they stole and then call the authorities to report the theft. Janine, can you continue to treat him?”
I wasn’t sure what that entailed, but Janine apparently did, since she nodded and knelt back down as Suzanne went back into the security office. Janine did the same thing that she’d done before, that soft glow channeling light into Andrew’s head. Obviously, I wanted to ask what she was doing, but I knew better than to think I’d get an answer. Instead, I sat in one of the loveseats in front of Andrew’s desk, turning it to face them.
I heard Suzanne’s voice faintly speaking to someone on the phone and the minutes ticked by. Eventually, Suzanne came back out again and she stood next to me for a long moment, watching the healing process before turning to me.
“Andrew told me you were attempting to create some enrichment activities for the animals?” asked my boss.
“Oh, uh…yeah, I am,” I answered. I assumed she was trying to make small talk to distract me from the current situation, and I appreciated it. “The first one went well. Spike loves artichokes, pecans, and hazelnuts. I went with things that made it a challenge to eat, like it’s a challenge to pull out fingernails of its prey.”
Suzanne’s expression brightened just enough for me to notice. “Ripley, that’s wonderful. Very clever.” She let out a breath. “It’s becoming more and more obvious to me that Andrew chose well in hiring you.” I gave her a small smile. “Listen, I’m going to hire someone else to be here with you on duty,” Suzanne told me, “and by that, I mean someone from my neck of the woods. Andrew explained that to you, correct?”
“Not much. Just that you’re not from Earth.”
Suzanne smiled. “That makes me sound like an alien, but yes, I’m not from this dimension. I can hire someone who has similar abilities to mine, who can check in every few hours, make sure everything’s all right, but generally make themselves scarce unless there’s an emergency. He wouldn’t have been able to do much if he’d already been here, but he’d have known what was going on. Andrew would have received assistance immediately.”
I was curious of what those abilities were, aside from being able to see the animals, but I wasn’t bold enough to ask. Also, I was curious about who this new ‘employee’ would be, but presumably I’d find out sooner or later. “That would make me feel a little better,” I said, nodding. “Knowing there was someone else here.”
She nodded once. “It’s as good as done, then. As for Andrew, he’ll need to take a few days off to recover. Would you be willing to give the tours until he’s back in ship-shape?”
My eyes bugged out of my skull. “Wait, what? I can’t even see all the animals!”
Suzanne chuckled at my expression and shook her head. “I can enchant a pair of specs for you to wear,” she told me. “It’ll give you a bit of a headache, but you’ll be able to see all of the animals. Also, I’ll give you the background for each of them, because you’ll be speaking about them to the tourists.”
I blinked, thinking of how awesome it would be to finally know all about them all. And it was flattering, the fact that she had such confidence in me that, without hesitation, she asked if I could take over for Andrew. The best thing for me to do, of course, was to be confident and assure her that I could take any temporary promotion in stride. “I’m…I’m not great with people,” I managed.
Yup. Nailed it.
“You can be a little harsh with them if you need to,” she said with a small, knowing smile. “I assumed that signing up for a job where you interact with a screen of cameras the whole time means you aren’t great with people. And Andrew did brief me on you when he hired you. How good are you at couching your insults in polite talk? The British are quite skilled, but I know Americans aren’t too bad at it.”
I smirked, remembering how a coworker friend of mine once told a customer, “Oh, bless your heart,” in her thick southern accent and it sounded like the worst insult. “I can manage that, I think.”
A buzz from the gate that went to the panel on the wall drew our attention and Suzanne walked over to let the visitors in. It was three people, a man and two women, with a gurney.
Walking over to Andrew, I folded my arms with a small smile as Janine released his head from the glow the wand was emitting. “Hey. Sorry you had to lay on the floor for so long knowing I was cluelessly reading a book in the next room.”
“Eh, not the end of the world,” he whispered. “I’ll be back on my feet soon. So, no parties while I’m gone.”
I snorted and my smile widened, and he returned it.
Going back into the security room, I pulled the system back to the multi-camera exterior view, and I sat there and listened to Suzanne talk to one of the medics, explaining everything that had happened in detail. Once she’d done that and they brought Andrew outside on the gurney, presumably to a waiting ambulance, I gave my statement, and then…it was back to work.
Obviously going back to work like nothing had changed felt weird, but Suzanne stayed, letting me know that she would get some work done at Andrew’s desk until my shift was over. It was likely the opposite of necessary, the robbers were gone, but it did make me feel a tiny bit better knowing that she was in the next room with her wand.
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-Jack
Every kid growing up in Gympie in the early 90- 2000s knew about the Love Tunnel.
The love tunnel was located over the hill from the skatepark on the Riverbank. It was a massive storm water drain filled with spray paint and lore unbound throughout the generations; the glowing dick, whose name is the furthest in, the people who live inside, the bull shark that lived under the bridge just outside, all that fun stuff.
It collapsed in the late 2000’s in a flood and was eventually rebuilt, but it was all fancy, modern, safe and not the same. Back in the day it had decades of graffiti, crumbling cement, jagged metal pole framing bent and jutting out from the sides. You know, real character.
I remember when I was just a kid at the skatepark and I spotted a bunch of other kids at the metal grating of a drain. I joined them and gazed down a few metres to some older teenagers, they had trekked through this “love tunnel” under the massive hill all this way. Badass I thought. LEGENDARY.
I talked about it at school, about this mysterious “love tunnel”. It was in view from the road when I crossed the bridge everyday on my daily commutes from the backseat of mums car.
I would gaze down at the weir and see the top of the love tunnel, sliightly hidden from view by a hill. It fascinated me.
I learned all these mysterious tales; this person slept with this person there, someone took a dump at the entrance and some other girl stood in it and now she had a nickname, someone found needles, another found a homeless woman and she screamed at them. I was pumped for the next weekend. I was going to go see it for myself.
I saw too much.
Early Saturday morning I was riding my push bike through town and toward destination adventure! I started out at the skatepark, met up with a few of the regulars, a mix of 5-19y/o everyone on the half pipes and ramps had a code of comrady that I've never found in a public place anywhere else and you always had someone to hang with.
My usual crew slowly arrived through the morning, a bunch of other 10/11 year old misfits like myself and we headed on our first place on our journey, Hungry Jacks. Now we never technically stole, we found a loophole…
One or two would order a stunner meal, then we'd take privilege of the free refills and fill up the empty plastic 4L juice jugs that we all had prepped in our backpacks. Coke and red Fanta for days.
So we got our supplies and headed behind HJ, past the volleyball courts and headed down a bush track down to the river.
We walked along the banks to loop back down to where the bridge was, we passed a few teenagers fishing and a couple other groups of kids swinging from rope swings into the water or huddled in groups smoking things they shouldn't.
We eventually arrived at the weir and the stormwater drain that I had been so intrigued by. The Love Tunnel.
Climbing up the hill and seeing it up close when you were just a tiny human. It was like staring into the dark abyss of hell.
There was a small stream of water flowing out of the big grey cylinder and it was covered in multicolored quotes and crude pictures that was very eye opening at the time.
Our voices echoed as one by one we climbed up the grassy, eroding clay edging that was the makeshift path into the mouth that probably changed each time it rained. Each of us had pulled out clumps of grass that we thought were handholds. If you fell, you fell down an embankment of slippery jagged rocks poking out from the fast flowing river.
So were inside and began to walk a couple of metres in then around us the light abruptly disappeared into complete darkness. And I remember the way the sounds traveled you could feel it through your chest it was mesmerizing.
I remember bravely stepping into the darkness and taking five or six steps in. That thick darkness was something else, I ran myself back to that entrance and light, heart pounding from the adrenaline.
This turned into a game of who could go in the furthest. This stopped when one of the boys screamed out from the darkness in pain.
He was back in the light teary eyed a few moments later wet on one side and feigning a laugh. He'd slipped down and cut open his knee, it was hilarious. We teased him saying he was going to get gangrene and leprosy and a myriad of other ailments we had no idea actually was.
We decided to bail, we forgot torches, we didn't plan that part out too well, and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon being little menaces.
We met the next day with a game plan, we had an array of various sized torches, from small ones that didn't do anything, one of those giant rectangle ones that was our main light source, a couple of handheld ones, one which flickered and the other stopped working before we even got into the tunnel.
We got in safely and tested out our torches and began walking into the unknown. It was pretty much the same as before, but there were strange things, old makeshift bongs, shopping bags, random shoes, a shopping trolley, a mattress that was all moldy and rotted. I still to this day do not understand how people managed to get that shit in there.
We passed a section where someone had thrown a can of red paint all over the walls, the amount of those ‘S’ symbols was more terrifying.
We saw light up ahead, we were passing our first grate. It was kind of daunting looking up towards it. Even getting on each other's shoulders we couldn't reach. There was an array of broken beer bottles and glass was everywhere, under the grate was a dead snake amongst some debris.
We had a debate whether to go further, we ended up going on at least until the next grate, we came to a fork, one seemed like a smaller offshoot so we stuck to the bigger side.
There were more offshoots and we came to a part where the big pipes split off into three under another grate. We gazed up hoping to get an identifier of our location, but all we could see was blue. We called out to see if we could get anyone's attention.
“Cooooweeee” we shouted in unison, the sound echoing in all directions.
We were laughing and having a grand time until something shouted back, something that still shakes me to my core to this day.
Some yobbo crackhead chick in her fifties with this ratty pink tank top that was all stretched half showing her saggy titties. “What the fuck you think you little cunts doing down here.” This chick screeched at us through her few teeth or something along the lines of that. She just exploded at us with a barrage of threats.
We were shocked silenced moving together to make one mass.
One of the boys screamed when a skinny guy emerged from the darkness. He was covered in tattoos with scraggly hair and a beard, he was all crazy eyed and pantless.
Someone yelled out to run and it was all the motivation we needed.
We could hear them screaming and the guy ran after us, we heard glass shattering behind us, they must have thrown a bottle. We were legging it.
We got split up in our running, I fell down, tripping over some rubbish, one mate stayed back to help me, this left us without a torch. We came across the same kid who slipped over yesterday, he had slipped down again cutting open his other knee. He wore those with badges of honor at school, but he was blubbering like a baby at this point.
He had the flickering torch and it disoriented us more than helped, as it turned on and off every time he took a step. I thought we were lost but we found the other grate, then eventually the entrance.
The others were already climbed down, we were soon by their side panting in the grass and wiping away our tears so the others couldn't see.
We ran back over to the skatepark and immediately told every kid we saw.
That was the wildest shit we had ever experienced. Sure we’d seen crazy up on the street but to have it jump out at you from the shadows in a storm water drain was next level.
By that night one of the other boys had spilled to his parents about our escapades and a couple of other mums got phone calls, three got in trouble, two of us didn't, including me.
I never stepped foot back in that tunnel, I swam at the weir more times than I could count afterwards though and never encountered anyone else too sketchy.
I think only a year or two later I saw on the news people dying in storm water drains somewhere else in Aus, we never realized how dangerous they could be back then. Lol.
Every party or get together afterwards it was a crowd favorite to bring up. It was a good conversation starter and joined the tales amongst my friends of the weird shit that happens in ‘Helltown’.
Growing up and looking back they were probably just homeless drug addicts freaked out from a bunch of children's voices yelling out coooweee from the underground where they thought they were alone. That would have scared the shit outta me if I was them.
Good times.
.VJ - in 2012 two women tragically passed away when they were exploring the tunnels and got swept away when a wild storm cell hit. Pictures of the upgraded version of the 'love tunnel' can be found in corresponding news articles.