Nausea back legs and aching

Hi Everyone! I am looking for any advice/input on a persistent, and extremely frustrating, knee issue I’ve been dealing with for about six months now. For reference I’m 21 years old. So, after a run six months ago I started having inner knee pain (on both knees) and they felt stiff and unstable 24/7. I went to an orthopedic after a couple weeks who said it was patellar tendinitis and would go away on its own. Well it didn’t go away and I started PT who said it’s probably a patellar tracking issue. I did PT for eight weeks (2x week) and the weakness and unstable feeling went away, for the most part. However, the sharp pain on the medial knee, right underneath my patella, persists on occasion. Additionally, my knees ache horribly after sitting down for any longer than 30 minutes, they constantly crack upon flexing and extending, and I still can not comfortably squat, lunge, jump, or run. I went to another ortho who said it was patellofemoral pain syndrome (PFPS). I have also developed new issues from this- pain below my knees on the medial side (I think it’s my pes anserine bursa) AND a stabbing pain in my left outer hip that radiates down my leg when walking and kicking backwards. The hip pain usually goes away after doing a quad stretch and leaning forward towards the other side of my body as it stretches the outer hip and it also feels better after walking for a few minutes. Stretching Lin a pigeon pose or cross cross apple sauce aggregate it. It’s hard because most exercise for PFPS focus on hamstrings and hips but a lot of these hurt my bursa and hip now. I have religiously done PT exercises for the past 4 months and avoided high impact activity . I have also stretched hamstrings, quads, and calfs daily. However my pain is largely limiting my life as I can’t sit down without pain and can’t exercise how I used to. I am getting really down about it losing hope. So, here are my questions:
-Is there a specific tracking issue that would cause medial knee pain only when applying pressure to knee?
-Is it possible to make a full recovery from PFPS? Even after it’s been a long term problem?
-anyone know of another issue that would cause sudden knee stiffness and pain, in both knees, without blatant injury (X-ray showed up normal, haven’t gotten MRI)?
-would losing weight help alleviate the problem ( my bmi is 23.5 but two years ago it was 20.5).
-what could be the cause of my hip pain, is it related to my knees, and are there specific exercises to help?
+Any other advice/personal experience welcomed and appreciated. Thanks!

Hey all,
I knew I had degenerative disc disease for at least 5 years. It runs on both sides of my family so I wasn't surprised. I struggled with pain and sciatica more consistently within the last 2 years.
However, about a month ago, I bent down and I heard 2 loud pops in my back and I couldn't walk for a few days.
Since then, the pain is worse than it has ever been and not getting better. I can't stand or walk for more that 5 minutes without spasm and even my toes start tingling in my left leg.
I finally had an MRI and I go for my follow up on Friday but I'm curious and impatient and I was wondering if anyone can see what the issue may be.
Thanks so much for your time.

I love my mummy. She grew me from her insides, encased by the flesh that we share. She nourished me with the liquid pulsing through her rotten body. Together we play games, mummy shows me how to make dolls from the scraps of daddy’s meat, pretty girl dolls with long floppy limbs that reek of decay. I don’t like mummy after the sun goes down. She tells me we can’t make dolls anymore, tells me my dolls are stupid. At night I hide. I have to find a different hiding spot tonight; mummy found my last one at sunrise. I can see the claw marks from when she found me in the linen cupboard. Long nails attached to long fingers, penetrating the cheap wooden door until there was nothing but torn up paint and inch deep fleshless lacerations.
The sun is setting. The final flash of orange sky and her eyes will gloss over like daddy’s did when mummy found him. Wet film slicked over green ovals of empty rage. She still looks like mummy, only her mouth is a tight line that reaches from ear to ear and it can’t open very well. It’s all muffled words now. Mummy looks like a tree after the sun sets. Her arms and her legs grow longer, they get too heavy so she hunches over. I am going to hide under her bed. Daddy’s bulge is hidden under there. Mummy keeps it a secret, but I know. Her bed is thin and much too long and her black hair is tangled up in the sheets. The scent of her sweat stained cushion lingers into my nostrils and down to my lungs as I crawl under, deeper into the dark stinking pit at the center.
I see the warm shadows from the final seconds of sun dance through the handmade curtains at her window. Mummy took the skin off daddy’s body to make those. His bellybutton, still attached to his torso skin, looks like a little crystal in the golden light. The pretty shadows disappear, and the room is black. I can hear mummy looking for me. She’s laughing through that muffled slit on her face. There is death in her eyes and a tremor in her shrieking that makes me nervous. She is angry now. I wasn’t in the linen cupboard this time. I am too smart for her.
I curl in on myself in the safety of the dark and wiggle my loose teeth in waiting. The nights are slow because I cannot sleep. I never sleep. Mummy is still running around the house looking for me, grunts of anticipation much louder, much more feral, than any wild animal. A pool of blood starts to swirl under my head where a loose tooth has fallen. Not good. Mummy smells blood as much as she craves it. The door creaks open. Two long feet stand still in the doorway, toes curling from excitement at the scent of her baby’s blood. I pray I do not end up as curtains and dolls like daddy. Mummy is on the bed; she is digging up the insides of her mattress. Maybe if I stay still enough, she won’t find me. I want to be brave, like daddy was.
I roll onto my back, there's a big hole in the mattress above my head. My eyes take seconds to adjust to the darkness above before I see Mummy’s dewy eyes beaming into mine. “My baby is here” the tight line where her mouth has been stretched starts to open slightly and she drools on me through her words. Her hand pokes through the slats in the bed and she pinches my cheeks until blood pours out. “We need more dolls, baby. We need this skin”. Warm water leaks from my eyes onto the tips of her fingers where blood gushes. She draws her hand away and I feel her tugging at my feet, grunting like an impatient child. I cannot kick, for her fingers reach from her palms to my thighs. I am paralyzed in her grip, and I let her pull me out from under my final hiding spot. I am dragged by my blood-stained hair to the backyard where mummy likes to play.
“Mummy is thirsty, baby? You can’t keep all that blood. You’re not selfish”
Her muffled words are comprehensible enough to foresee the fate at which I am now destined for. I am here to feed her, to fuel her life, as she once did me. In the way shadows chase the light, how the moon must always put the sun to rest, birth must give way to death. In turn I must give life, my flesh and bone, to the creator of my life and my light. To return to the darkness that will always encompass her. it is her right.

You may recall a post I made asking for advice on how to politely respond to a job offer from an employer that was clearly wanting to slither out of their responsibilities under the Holiday Act 2003.
TLDR, I did politely raise the line from the contract and quoted the section of the Act simply querying whether my understanding was correct or not. BIG MISTAKE, it would seem!
They withdrew the job offer under the guise that my training was to occur with another new team member who had pulled out last minute. They would wait till they had another candidate lined up before onboarding us through the training procedures together. I thought this odd that they completely withdrew the offer, and the Sales Manager told me it was what he had been instructed to do by “higher up”. I immediately suspected this was because of my query on their annual leave policy, but gave benefit of the doubt.
After no contact for over a week and some pathetic emails about being sick when I’ve called, I get an email saying they’ve hired back two team members who had worked for them in the past - no need for my services now, very sorry. The thing is, I can see the IDENTICAL job description with a different title being advertised by them online right now.
I’m now convinced it was my push back which sealed my fate - and without having actually signed before they withdrew the offer, I of course have no leg to stand on.
Is there some body or organisation I can report them to for their flagrant disregard of the Holidays Act? I of course have a copy of the contact with their lines in it, ready to show.
A bit sour grapes on my part, but just wondering what my options are. I have already sent a “you can understand my frustrations - can I get some feedback for the future” type email in response, and remained calm. Beyond that, what do you all suggest?

So I've been shaving the tops of my thighs and all my lower legs, even that takes like an hour combined to do. The main issue the back of my thighs. It takes too long and I can't figure out the correct path either. So I'm looking to get an electric shaver. Any suggestions?

Hi, I will be landing in Cancun for the first time on 20th June and will be in and around for a week there. I am not that keen on partying and much more of an active traveller (exploring mayan ruins, going for a swim to cenotes, museums etc.). I plan on doing this leg of mexico on a budget (will prefer staying at hostels with a good wifi connectivity). This is my current itenerary: land in Cancun -> take a bus to PDC (3 days) -> take a bus to valladolid ( 2 days) -> take a bus to cancun (2 days). Fly back home on 28th. Is this doable? Should I directly go to Tulum instead of PDC? I wouldn't want to skip Valladolid as I really want to see chichen itza.I will mostly be dependent on the ADO buses and/or if/any public transport since I am solo. This itinerary is WIP, so please feel free to recommend doing +-1 day here and there.
Will really appreciate any inputs here. Gracias!

I (22F) have had issues with sciatica since I was 16/17, however it was only right leg aching and usually cleared up with stretches and time.
However, I signed a pro rugby contract last year and took a serious knock in a match and now I have the pain down both legs, especially my thighs. But the biggest issue is I have very accuse lower back pain which hurts all the time now. Especially when I bend down, sneeze or cough.
I have a physiotherapist with my team, who’s said to use ice and heat every day and given me strengthening stretches to do. I also have an appointment with a muscle skeletal specialist soon.
My question is: is there anything else I can be doing to help my recovery? My job is very physical and I want to get back to playing. I’m finding it very frustrating.
Any advice would be welcome.

Long-ish post. Lots of detail.
I'm relatively new to the game, looking for some tips. I've been doing research on builds and sets the last few days (ranging from looking at build guides to reading old Reddit discussions about various sets) for my solo character, and I have some ideas, was looking to see if I'm on the right track, or if I need to reevaluate stuff.
First, some info:

• Stamina Nightblade
• Nord race
• Vampire (generally Stage 1)
• I prefer melee combat but am willing to put ranged on my back bar
• I have Mirri built as a healer
• My bars mostly follow Allcast's Stamblade group DPS setup, with some minor tweaks for my personal playstyle and some added healing

I know that's not optimal, but I enjoy it. My RP is as a Nord Vampire assassin, and I do a lot of criminal content, so the vampire is there to stay. As it's a solo build, and therefore hurts no one but me, I plan to work around the drawbacks rather than change race or remove vampirism.
I'm mostly looking for advice on sets, traits, and enchantments. I've purposefully excluded any dungeon or trial sets from my considerations (other than a monster set) as I'm trying to build my gear before trying to take on that sort of harder content.
Currently, this is what I'm considering:

• Battlefield Acrobat - dagger, dagger, battle-axe, ring, ring, necklace
  
  • Weapons: Absorb Health, Infused
  • Jewelry: Increase Physical Harm, Robust
• Ancient Dragonguard - heavy chest, medium legs, medium boots, medium gloves, light belt
  
  • Heavy Armor: Stamina, Reinforced
  • Medium Armor: Stamina, Infused
  • Light Armor: Stamina, Infused
• Iceheart - medium head, medium shoulder
  
  • Medium Armor: Stamina, Well-fitted
• Mundus - Thief
  

Reasons:
Battlefield Acrobat - I've been having some sustain issues, which is mostly my fault as I'm not very adept at my rotation yet, but I'm improving, however being a vampire definitely isn't helping that. This set would mitigate that, while also giving me some recovery, and (if old posts are still correct) reducing costs for other actions like breaking free. It doesn't seem to be widely used, but it seems like it would be good for my specific situation.
Ancient Dragonguard - To me, this set seems like it's designed for solo play. Comments said it's a good starter set, and it will add both survivability and damage. Because it's crafted, I can also capitalize on the variable weights to put the heavy on chest and light on belt. It seems like a perfect choice to me.
Iceheart: Comments about solo monster sets seemed to heavily point towards this one, and I think I can see why. It'll add both some damage and survivability, my only question is if damage shields can stack? Or would running this alongside Cleave (and morphs) be redundant?
Thief Stone: I was considering Shadow, for danage and survival, but unless I am mistaken Critical Healing cannot occur on HoTs, so I wouldn't get a ton of value out of the heal boost, so I'm going all in on damage for this one.
Thoughts? I think it's a relatively solid and easy to get starter build that I can use to farm better gear, will keep me alive as I get more proficient in my rotations, and overcomes some of the drawbacks of my roleplaying choices.
Happy to answer any questions.
Edit: Reformatted part as it didn't turn out the way I wanted visually.

(a throwaway so my sister and enforcers don’t see this) refer to me as Violet
So I (22F) went through some shit the last few years. Couple of years ago I thought I lost my little sister Pow (now 18F), after she threw some homemade grenade which killed my adopted family and my adoptive father, and in the height of my emotions and anger, I slapped the ever living shit out of her, and then this asshole Silco, who had rivalry with my dad, took her away and it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have slapped her! I don’t remember how I ended up in Stillwater prison, but I stayed there for like 5+ years. Not going to get into details as per what was I doing there, but it was vile and I don’t really feel comfortable sharing. But all of the sudden, this blue haired enforcer (23F), who I will admit, is fucking hot, asked me if I knew some information about the mob Silco runs, and I thought to myself maybe I could get my little sister Pow back, and I expected the enforcer to send someone to beat the shit out of me, but I was surprised she got me out of prison. I don’t know how, but I didn’t complain. She did save me couple of times over when that sellout bitch (40F) stabbed me with her automated arm powered by Shimmer, and when she treated my wound in the deepest pits.
A day later, we get kidnapped by an old friend of mine, when I tried to reunite with my sister, and he showed us the society he lives in outside of town, and the enforcer showed us that maybe she is not of the asshole enforcers, who are basically criminals in fancy uniforms.
My sister then causes mayhem in the bridge between Piltover and Zaun and I don’t know where my old friend is, and barely managed to escape with the enforcer, with her leg injured, and we got to her house with her mom who met us at the door of her bedroom with a rifle and waited for the enforcer to come back, to reflect and think on the situation in those past few hours, and I love her. My life changed a lot for those few hours, for better or worse, at least I’m not in prison anymore.
Anyway, we went to the council to talk over who attacked a building in Piltover and who created some homemade grenades, and I told them it was my sister Pow, but they called bullshit and made me angry and left and while the enforcer wanted me to come back, I told her oil and water aren’t meant to be. But I shouldn’t have left her. After finding one of the councillors who made some big ass gauntlets, and having a fight to find out about Shimmer shipments from Silco’s associates, I went to beat the ever living shit out of the sellout bitch who stabbed me earlier in The Last Drop, and then I don’t know how, I got kidnapped again and was found in the middle of a pretty creepy place, like a horror tea party, and she said she paid my “girlfriend” a visit and made her a snack, I thought she killed her, but made her a cupcake instead and brought her here, and I was scared. I didn’t want anybody else to die. And my sister made me choose between her and the enforcer, I love them both, I love my sister, but I couldn’t let her die, and the enforcer untied herself and tried to attack my sister, but instead she went on a berserk and killed Silco and then she went ahead and blew up the council with some powerful rocket.
I don’t know what to do since it’s my fault my sister will cause a war and kill a lot many others and the mother of the enforcer. Can you give me any advice? I’m so screwed up right now! I’ll be glad if you Redditors help me out with this situation!

Hi, pretty long post, just want to share my story as reading all of yours has helped me these last few weeks, f(28). After Thanksgiving 2021, so early-mid December (I was 26 at the time), I somehow herniated a disc. Before this happened, literally right before, I was hurting with what I think was a pulled lower back muscle (hurt to sit and lay down but pain was only in my back right side and rest helped, something I dealt with several times in my life starting in like 7th grade, drs always said it was a pulled muscle). After about a week it was feeling better so I decided it was safe to roll onto my right side to sleep. Well, after that I started experiencing pain all down that side, I also had some tingling and slight numbness in my foot and ankle. It was bad enough that I wasn't comfortable for more than 20 minutes, standing was the least painful, lucky to sleep 3 hours at once even though I'd wake up in horrible pain, basically always in tears from the pain and discomfort. I went to the dr after a few weeks and was told it's sciatica and he referred me for an mri, gave me some kind of shots and ibuprofen. I don't remember what the shots were but they took away all of the pain for 8-10 hours and I was able to get some much needed sleep. One may have been toradol but I got a shot of it the day of my mri so laying on my back during the scan wasn't too uncomfortable, and it didn't help much.
About 2 months after my symptoms started, I finally got the mri and it showed a decent sized herniation. I don't remember exactly where it was in my low back, but I was then referred to a neurologist who evaluated me and suggested ESI, he was fairly certain it would get better on it's own and I wouldn't need surgery, he said it may or may not decrease in size as well. The ESI worked as far as I can tell, but at this point it had been about 3-4 months of healing on my own using heat, stretches, and ibuprofen and the pain was mostly gone, lingering around a 2 at it's worst, but 0 after the ESI. The tingling in my foot and ankle had gone away and I was slowly getting back to normal. Aside from the occasional leg muscle cramps and discomfort laying on my right side, I had been pain and symptom free for about 2 years. I went on vacation in June last year, we did a lot of walking and even a steep hike. I worked for a year and a half in a dispensary, on my feet a lot as well as bending, squatting or leaning down, lifting heavyish totes. I had no pain or symptoms from this. I was hopeful that it had healed up and I was going to be perfectly fine, but I was still mindful of my back. I quit working last year in September to go back to school, since then I had been generally sitting or laying most of the time doing homework, of course I still helped around the house and went out to do stuff. I just wasn't moving nearly as much as when I was working. I had also gone on a trip to Seattle in September where we walked almost everywhere. Again, no pain or symptoms.
That takes me to earlier this year, about late February or early March. I was doing alright, then I noticed my hips feeling a little sore, starting in the left then later on the right, like a toothache or a pinching feeling in the sides and sometimes front. I felt it most when laying on them at first. It also felt sore when I pressed certain areas on the side. It felt like my thighs or hips were a bit unstable, if that makes sense. I did stretches, no difference. One night, during a shower, I leaned down to move a bottle on the floor and felt a very slight twinge in my lower back. Still no back pain or symptoms down either leg though. I also had been randomly waking up with pain and stiffness in my right foot and ankle that would go away after walking on it. Naturally, all this scared me and I started sleeping only on my back with a pillow under my knees, no longer sitting cross-legged or with my legs tucked beside me on the couch, making sure I wasn't slouching and getting up every hour to walk for a few minutes, generally trying to take care of my back. I'm also sitting to get dressed right after most showers because of my hips and I'm nervous my legs will give out. I made a dr appointment early April and he suggested PT for my hips, he wasn't worried about my back or doing any imaging.
I started PT April 15th. She evaluated my hips, had me do some stretches (most were laying down with my knees bent, putting pressure on my low back, I'm wondering if this caused my situation) and gave me stretches to do at home 2x day, appointments 2x week for a month. I should also mention during her evaluation she pressed on my lower back and it sucked, no pain down my legs, just under her hand. The stretches helped my hips for the first week, then my lower back started getting stiff and sore when I would lay down for a few hours or more. I mentioned this to my PT, but she didn't say anything. I kept up with the stretches (on a thick mat on the floor at home, or on my bed) and my lower back slowly got worse each day. Finally, after about 4 PT appointments and 2 weeks of stretches I quit doing them. My back was in quite a bit of pain, I started occasionally getting tingling and slight numbness down both sides in my lower calves and feet (sometimes together, sometimes either side) and it was painful to lay and sit longer than an hour. Made another dr appointment, he suggested it was my muscles and told me to ice, take ibuprofen, and gave me Diclofenac 1% gel, assuring me that PT wouldn't likely cause or worsen a herniation. I was with a different PT for the next appointment and she tried a TENS machine with a heating pad for the pain after I did some stretches that didn't seem to bother my back. I didn't notice any difference. That same night I went to the ER because I got up from a nap and the tingling and numbness wouldn't go away so it scared me. They gave me a steroid shot, a steroid pack, a few T3's and 325mg Tylenols as well as an MRI referral. I don't know if the steroids helped or just the overall more aggressive and earlier treatment this time, but my pain and symptoms (despite being on both sides, not just the right side) aren't nearly as bad as the first time, yet. I'm still uncomfortable and having a horrible time, but it's been manageable. Hopefully I don't feel any worse after being off the steroids for a while. I finished them last Thursday (May 9th) and I've been taking the 325mg Tylenol as needed, making sure to take 2 before bed, I took all the T3's as needed. PT since has been focused on pain management, deep heat ultrasound, TENS machine and heat, also k-tape which seems to provide a small difference.
Yesterday morning (the 13th) I woke up to my back feeling a little stiff and sore but I'd been trying a few stretches the last couple days, maybe that's what's causing it so I'm gonna stop for now. I'm sleeping alright, thankfully, naps as I need or can. As my back has gotten better, my hips haven't. There's still a pinching toothache type of feeling in the sides and front and my thighs still feel unstable while I walk sometimes. I can't lean back on the couch, sitting in the car is uncomfortable so I keep the seat up straight, laying down I still feel pressure in my low back but it's been bearable enough to sleep so far. I haven't tried walking for longer than an hour at a time, slowly and carefully, it doesn't bother my back so much as it does my hips. I lay down for a break during the day if I need it, though I try not to lay down too much. I get up and walk around a bit every hour or so and I help with housework when I can. I use ice or heat for 15 min when I feel like it. I try to go to bed only when I know I'm sleepy so I don't just lay there. I sit outside in the Sun and try to distract myself from the pain the best I can by doing whatever. But lately, being up straight most of the day has been making my upper back a little sore and sometimes I feel what might be spasms along my back (a tense pain that goes away after a few seconds to minutes) and some cramping sensations in my legs.
My MRI is scheduled for the 20th, I'm hoping with all my heart that it's nothing horrible. I've been keeping a log of my symptoms and writing down questions for if I go back to the neurologist (which I would like to). Again, I apologize for the super long post, I just hope this helps someone feel less alone and scared. I know I've been feeling pretty awful the last three weeks, I can't imagine how you who have worse pain feel. I have so much anxiety and fear about this and all the possibilities and it makes everything so difficult. I'm 28, almost 29, and with luck, I have 50-60 years of living left and there's so much I want to do, without anxiety of injuring my back or being in constant pain. This is one of the scariest things I've ever gone through because it seems like it can get complicated really fast and really easy, no warning. I'm not giving up hope that I'll be alright, but it's hard when you get worn down through the day and feel so many different scary symptoms. Hopefully they make some kind of medical advancement in the disc herniation department that truly helps the pain or at least effectively reduces reinjury chances.
TLDR: Sharing my story, had a lower back disc herniation in Dec 2021 causing horrible sciatica all down right side. Had ESI a few months later even though pain was minimal at that point, got better and was generally pain and symptom free for about 2 years. Symptoms came back after a few weeks of PT for unexplained hip pain, this time it's effecting both sides. Been dealing with it for about 3 weeks now with various treatments, MRI scheduled for the 20th.

I am male, 32 years old, and overweight. My journey all started with an empty Sella on a brain MRI where they was checking me for MS. That lead to a lumbar puncture. My OP was 28, but I was prone/ flat on my stomach. I know this increases pressure because the radiologist who did the LP told me. My cardiologist said it may increase my pressure up to 5 points, but that my OP is still high. I had my first appt with a neurologist today and he basically said the same thing. I have been to two eye doctors just this year. Neither of them seen the typical full blown Papilledema that's seen in many cases of iih. Terms used by the eye doctors was "borderline", "mild swelling", "slightly elevated, but could your normal" etc. One of them said with that op from lumbar she thinks I do have iih and it could be a more mild case. The neurologist did take a very quick look into my eye with an instrument, and said looks like "mild swelling" to him. My eyes wasn't dilated for this. My symptoms started a few years ago including daily headaches, feeling very unwell, lightheadedness, occasional whooshing in my ears etc. This year my eyes have started to ache constantly. I don't have allergies, they are not red and not itchy so I'm assuming maybe the Intracranial Hypertension could be the cause... Sorry for the long post. Anyways I also have POTS syndrome and I know that could cause some of my symptoms .Also that makes me extra scared to take the Diamox ER 500 mg I was prescribed. Is it possible I'm getting misdiagnosed? Btw I have lost 35 pounds since last fall. I'm working on losing more. Sorry if my post is a bit frantic and all over the place. I'm am feeling anxious as it turned into an 8 hour trip to the neuro and back home on little sleep. Thanks for understanding and I'm happy to hear any opinions.

Went 75ish head on into the very pointy beginning of an exit barrier. One car accident, I was the only one hurt. Still having some complications but I’m okay-ish.
I just don’t understand why I don’t care that I could have died. I feel bad for crashing the car, I feel bad for my loved ones having to take care of me, and a lot of other things. But thinking about the crash makes me feel absolutely nothing. My kid said they have would have never stopped crying if I had died, and I said I understood I told them I was happy to be alive. But I really don’t care at all. I’ve had a major string of bad luck stemming all the way back from August of ‘23, including someone threatening me with a gun, scarlet fever, a 3rd degree burn on my leg, and in the ER for stroke alert. Am I maybe just too exhausted to be shaken up by anything anymore? This was my first ever car accident, and it was severe one that could have put me 6ft under. I just don’t understand why I lived and why I’m not grateful that I did live. I’m so tired.

Hey; I'm currently a junior finishing up the year. I quit American football due to anxiety and I dreaded practice everyday and hated it/used to have panic attacks before it. I used to wake up and have my day instantly (3 seconds into waking up) ruined by the fact I had practice (I have a social battery so I need time alone a lot, having 3 hours a day after practice isnt enough) and my anxiety kicks in and as the day goes on, the closer I get to practice, the more my stomach begins to pain and I start trembling, and then sometimes I would just debate on not even going because I was afraid I'd sh** myself or something due to anxiety stomach aches. Its not even because of something like me not being good at football, its just so terrifying for some reason; maybe because I am a naturally slow-paced person that this rush of putting pads on and getting to practice quick frightens me? I also used to dread summer workouts; I really need summer to recharge, and waking up at 5:30 everyday isn't good for my mental, even though physically I'm perfectly fine. I love the weightlifting though, its one of my passions as of recent. Sometimes, I would constantly check my emails, wondering if there was something new from my coaches. I not only have anxiety, but also ADHD, OCD, loads of other BS that make it nerve wrecking for me when a coach is screaming in my face all day, I sometimes get so nervous I don't even hear what they say and I look stupid by messing up the drill. It also didn't help that I was a EXTREMELY underweight defensive tackle in such a tough football environment/division (Florida football). I hate the 3 hour practices too. I've been on meds and they still don't help, trying supplements and I'll see what they do. Everyday I would lose my mind over practice, yet there was something weird. For the past 6 months or so, since I left football, I have been fantasizing every single day about playing it again. Imagining myself playing linebacker or running back, stiff arming people as I run into the endzone. I miss the practices where we would do such hard drills and laugh as we caught our breath by the water station, I miss how intense those fridays felt, where I strapped up my helmet and went to war against whatever powerhouse of a school it was that week (I don't miss morning workouts lmao). But why? I suffered so much in my life because of this game but I don't know what to do; I don't want to spend my entire senior year not playing a sport (i did sign up for school related things obviously) but still, all those other guys balling out while at 2:30pm I'm heading home, the idea is depressing for some reason. Maybe I should make more friends? Invest more into the weightlifting? I hated the game but I loved everything that came with it. Even when I hear some sh** like a Kid Ink song I think about Tavon Austin's highlights, and then I want to play again. I made up my mind a few months ago about not playing but just helping with photography, but the thoughts of me wanting to play again are lingering, but as I type this I can already feel my stomach aching as I think about summer practice if I do come back; do I play or do I not play? Will it be worth it, heading home on friday's as my brothers are getting ready to have the whole town watch them play while i'm at home; at school going to the football pep rallies as I stand in the bleachers as a now mere spectator; the homecoming court; the playoffs we usually make (won state recently); senior night, even the end of the season? I can't imagine myself not falling into a pit of depression as I think about witnessing these things. I don't know what to do, I'm trying to convince myself that these are lifelong memories and that I SHOULD play but I don't know if I can go another season of that, feels like I have grey hair already at 18. I sometimes wish I had another year of highschool, where I can just be fine and then the year after play football, but I only have a few days now to make my decision. I don't know why I think about this game all the time, I love it and miss it but I dread it. Thanks to whoever read all of this, just needed someone to know about this.

Dear C,
I loved you. not in that wishy washy lifetime holiday movie kind of way either. I truly loved you. I knew when I met you I could possibly fall. I tried not to, stayed away. didn't want to rock any boats. I think it was that expression of what I believed to be a love of life. the smile and lighting up eyes. I don't know. It's hard to put my finger on. you just had that air about you.
Became friends. shared secrets. shared sorrows. I didn't expect to become what I thought was that area of close friendship. To then get feelings though we lived so far apart. it hurt when I realized it was more than feelings of friendship in my chest. trying so hard to shut if down. not let myself be swept up into something. Love is a lot like the ocean though. one cannot sway it's currents as one cannot halt the rotation of the Earth.
It was turmoil it couldn't be, though I wished for us to fall into each other, hold you tightly to me and feel ourselves melt into each other. You had inklings I know. never said anything, we never discussed it. you moved even further away. I thought perhaps I could move on. I didn't. perhaps that's when I should have noticed. not that you were with someone but that perhaps you were not really my friend.
permission to send flowers but sending them to your work. speaking on the whatsapp. instead of texting. letting me feel confused about your feelings with me yet no resolution. I didn't want to lose you so I said nothing. that was pathetic of me. I think just a way to let myself be taken advantage of again later.
losing touch, regaining communications. losing touch again. Honestly I should have realized sooner but one becomes blinded by their own feelings. It came to a head a year and a half ago. Nearing christmas I found myself this particular year in a deep depression. Even years after tragedy it still hurts. I saw through posts you recently had a family tragedy as well. I wanted to make sure you were ok.
We agreed to meet up for dinner at my place what was that? the 22nd? the 23rd perhaps. So glad to hear from a close friend, feeling a sense of happiness. looking forward to something. braving the grocery stores less than a week from Christmas. I got a bunch of ingredients settling on a fancy style pizza and poached pears. something fun, not romantic (I didnt want to give the wrong vibes) even got a new sauce pan just to make a great red wine reduction for the pears lol. It was all set. I had a bottle of moscato d asti too. just a dessert wine. I even handmade the damn dough. It did turn out pretty decent, the pizza cooked. pears soaking in sugar water. yet
Yet it was 4:00 and I hear nothing, I had that nagging feeling
no Surely she wouldn't.
5:30 I had no word. perhaps a little later dinner. afterall I did not set the specific time.
6:30 and I messaged you to get an apology. I'm so sorry.
She told me her grandmother's memorial was that day. they released a balloon even.
I was crushed. deflated much like that balloon after a week of floating I'm sure. It seemed like an airtight excuse. Or at least one if I questioned would make me an asshole. I may be an ass but C I'm no asshole. I told you I understood but it didn't end there.
for over six months, six months it went on like this. I sent flowers twice actually when I thought I overstepped, made you mad at me. I rememembe getting very sick in Februaury and aplogizing for looking you up to send the damn flowers, feeling guilty of being some type of creep. You didn't mind. Hell I forgot to mention I had a Christmas gift from the previous years I couldn't get to you due to covid.
I asked if you were busy, You asked my free days. if you had the same day off and we made plans, without fail you would cancel or just not show. you would not message me. I understood-still understand helping family when they are sick. yet why not call? text? If I questioned it I was the bad guy. I'd always be the bad guy for simply questioning. I asked you if you didn't wish to be friends. to just reject me if that were the case. I just wanted to spend time together yet... yet even getting you to answer a text was a chore. why? I didn't obsess, I didn't stalk. I just wanted to spend time with someone I cared for. to help in any way I could.
Looking back it was rather pathetic of me. you're still the only person to make me act in that manner. You never rejected me. why? I needed that finality, that goddamned nail in the coffin to know for sure. I guess I just wasn't paying attention. You seemed to get out any way from visiting. spending time together. at a trusted friend's suggestion I proposed time after time neutral territory. coffee shops, restaurants, the book store. any public place.
I didn't know if you had issue with me personally, meeting a guy in his home? you agreed so many times to meet up to only ghost me. You did ghost me. repeatedly. You then said you didn't ghost me that you were staying late to get in the good graces of a new boss, just not answering me letting me apologize later.
I'm sorry C but having well established plans then not letting the person know you weren't going until after the fact. or not letting them know at all IS GHOSTING. SAYING IT'S NOT GHOSTING IS GASLIGHTING.
you ghosted me constantly, you gaslighted me. it hurt. If I didn't have blinders, if I weren't so fucking depressed I would have wisened to it. Instead I hoped and thought perhaps this time. not unlike those scratcher addicts wasting money hoping for that big payout.
You ghosted and gaslighted me. it hurt my self worth. perhaps I wasn't worthy of love nor frienship. a lingering trauma from my childhood you only reinforced in me. I think looking back on it you gaslighted me the entirety of our relationship. when that hit me... I don't know. From the same friend, she thought it a good idea to ask what I was to you. What type of friend am I to you? that was the question. was I just an aquaintenance? was I a close friend? was I just some person?
"of course we're friends" was my response. That wasn't the question though. Crushed. Angry. depressed. I tried still. yet you didnt acknowledge me. I think I grew bitter.
You ghosted me, You gaslighted me. You wouldn't tell me you rejected me even when I asked you to. I felt as though I weren't being treated as a human being.
To me you seemed to be acting like a narcissist or perhaps afraid? You were giving excused the same way the people who raised me did. classic text book narcissists.
C , I hate that a part of me loves you. I hate that what seemed like a relationship that meant so much to me perhaps didn't mean anything to you. I hate that I fell for someone who lies, who ghosts, nor treats me with the slightest bit of respect. I loved you but you only hurt me. loving you made me not feel good about myself. I wish
I wish instead of this rant I could tell you in a nicer way how I feel. That I then wanted to know you because I think it was more the idea of you I fell in love with. just a phantom. That I wished to find the depths of conversation only those like us could know. to find the depths of that well. to truly know one another.
I realize you'll never give an honest answer. I'll never have that chance to cook for you. the closest we'll be emotionally is being an unanswered call, empty chair, dinner for no one. I'll never share true intimacy with you. I remember you placing your head on my shoulder during the movie at the art museum. I wante to put my arm around you so much that night. it seemed innapropriate. I had no idea if she were your friend or girlfriend. I could not intrude.
I realized there are othes who see my worth. I'm more than just a text. people who see me. Yet a part of me lingers wishing. it's only a whisper now, something that still aches. I wished for closure. I'll never get it. I try to accept it. I can only move on.

The Inukpak (giant person) or Inukpat, in plural, are everywhere. They travel easily as they are 8-20 feet tall and they can look like a literal giant person, or like the classic ape-like Bigfoot creature that most people know of today. As a hunter, I have been trained by my Dad, my Uncles, and many other relatives to be able to track, spot minute differences in the soils and trees that can show me where animals are, and I also have pretty great eye sight to accompany that. In my short 24 years on this planet, I have seen a lot and traveled all over the Brooks Range (AKP base-iiuraq), and even gone as far away from home as the UK, but in my travels, I have almost always encountered some form of supernatural phenomena, entities, or other forms of spiritual presences. Most of which, happened in the mountains I call home. In the years of 2014 to 2018, I was very lucky and curious, so I spent most days after school out in the country and exploring the small valleys and the tops of mountains everywhere that I went. Even though I am a bigger guy, I was usually able to go up 2-3000 foot mountains in just an hour to hunt if needed. One day, I had left to go fishing in August. The caribou had not arrived yet and it was warmer than usual. Most August days are fairly chilly and the temps can range from 30°F up to 60°F. But on that day, it was in the high sixties and the mosquitoes were still running rampant, which is really weird for fall time. Fall is usually around August to September up here as we transition to winter quickly. On that day, I left in the morning and didn’t expect to see anyone, but the trail ahead of me showed some signs of recent vehicle traffic. In the village, we use vehicles like the XTV Argo and Honda Foreman or Can Am fourwheelers to get around everywhere and the trail looked like it was roughed up by the wide tire of an Argo. From then on, I just kinda went along with the idea that there were others ahead of me and I would need to be careful. So I traveled for a while and I came to a place called Aklagviiraq (idk what it fully means, but it has to do with a bear). And when I got there, I thought I saw a bear walking on the side of the mountain. I kept traveling, but I opted to take the lower trail to avoid the giant beast up on the mountain. Though I’m not terrified of the things, I prefer not to deal with them when I’m alone. When I got to the lower trail, I looked up to see where the bear was and I realized it was standing on its hind legs, or so I thought. I picked up my binoculars and started to scan the tundra and as I laid eyes on the brown-fur-clad being, it looked at me. The face of an Inupiat man stared back at me. But this wasn’t my cousin or anyone I knew. They were GIANT. Like 10 feet tall giant. They waved their arms like they were trying to get me to come over, but I noped the F out of there and never spoke of it to anyone. At first, it had been walking bent over like a bear. Like it was on All fours, but when I saw it, it looked like a human. I personally believe I saw one of these giants that my cultural stories speak of.

I’ve created a more advanced program based on my needs and am looking for more critique. Seems to be running super well so far.
Will be following the fail protocol of 5x5>5x3>6x2>10x1 for tier 1
And for my tier 2 I’ll be running 4x7>6x5>7x4
Back Squat 5x5 Incline Bench 4x7 Paused Leg Press 2x10 Weighted Back Extension 2x10 Leg Curl 2x10 Leg Extension 2x10 Dumbbell Lunges 2x10 Sled Push
Seated Overhead press 5x5 Paused Deficit Deadlift 4x7 DB Lateral Raises 2x10 DB Front Raises 2x10 Reverse Pec Dec 2x10 Hip Ad+Abductor Superset 2x10 Treadmill
Paused 3second Flat Bench 5x5 Paused Hack Squat 4x7 Weighted Dips 2x10 Weighted Push Ups 2x10 Cable Flys 2x10 (Low/Mid/High) Tricep Machine 2x10 Treadmill
Deadlift full reset 5x5 Weighted Knee Raises 2x10 Weighted Decline Sit ups 2x10 Weighted Chin Ups 2x10 Lat Pulldown 2x10 Cable Row 2x10 Stair Machine

Just as a little bit of background - I am an AA Executive Platinum, and a leisure flyer. I have only been on a handful of United flights over the past decade.
Yesterday/Today I’ve been on an Award Polaris itinerary MCO-IAD-FRA-DRS (final leg on LH).
The trip started out very nice and I thought the lounge at MCO was great - much nicer than American’s at the same airport. I chatted with the staff at the lounge and said I was surprised how nice it was.
It was an overall nice conversation but they said something which foreshadowed what was to come… they said “unfortunately United is making changes which ties our hands to make some things worse. We aren’t allowed to help customers who are having problems anymore, and instead need to give them these cards with QR codes on it if something goes wrong”.
Fast forward a little bit, my flight boards 20 minutes late, and then by the time we are on board, a lightning storm hits and we are deplaned. The flight is delayed by 90 minutes and this puts my IAD-FRA connection in jeopardy.
I went back to the lounge as I didn’t fully process how little they could help - and they just give me the card and apologize.
I try using it. The person on chat says they can’t help me because it’s an Award and tells me to call an 800 number.
I call the 800 number and get an automated system which is completely broken “say yes if you are calling about your flight from MCO-IAD” I try saying yes and pressing 1 a few times and it says “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you, and I’ll be forced to disconnect the call if you don’t respond”. After multiple attempts, I give up.
Fortunately, I found a manager by the gate who was able to secure a backup reservation in case I misconnect. And fortunately we made it just in time for me to run from gate to gate and made the connection… but in any event - disempowering the lounge folks from helping even Polaris customers is really unimaginable.
The flights and lounges were otherwise nice enough that might have considered flying United more often - but there’s no way I would risk being in a place of getting no customer service on an international flight again.

How do I know if it ruptured…I’m getting bad back pain and stomach pain only on my right side and slight nausea went to the ER about 5 days ago all they said was I had one and a uti gave me zofran and anti biotic…the zofran is barely working I feel nauseous. This is my first cyst and it’s really scaring me I don’t have insurance also 😕 I don’t have a fever just pain and nausea idk if that’s normal or a rupture. I have very bad ptsd from hospitals , especially things to do with the stomach scare me…my obgyn appointment is set for another 17 days…which is super scary I’ve been to the hospital once and I don’t have insurance so idk what to do. I just recovered from the stomach flu which is just making this worse so idk if the nausea is from the flu or the cyst my bf got the flu around when I did and he’s not nauseous.

Hi all, I was diagnosed with an ectopic last week and have gone through hell since. I went to the hospital about 3 weeks ago due to sever abdominal pain, thinking I was having appendicitis. It came back that my HCG was almost 500 (unplanned and one week after I got my IUD removed), then I was confirmed ectopic last week when my levels went up to 4400 and no sac was seen in my uterus. I receive my first dose of metho the next day and didn’t have any side effects till this past weekend. I gpt sudden waves of extreme exhaustion and some dizziness, I felt so weak that I was barely able to take a short shower. I ended up going to the hospital because I was worried I had burst and while I didn’t rupture, they identified the 1.9 cm growth in my right tube and my levels had gone up to 9400 (from 6400 two days prior). They kept me overnight, warning I might have to have surgery, but my levels remarkably went down to 7600 the next morning (over about 10 hours). They gave me a second dose of the metho and kept me another night, and I was discharged back home this afternoon. The doctors while they try to help are not very helpful as the timeline for recovery is not clear cut. I’m wondering what others timelines have been and how their symptoms played out. Does anyone have any warning signs for rupture to look out for? Also how do you deal with the extreme exhaustion? I also have been having some muscle weakness and aches in my arms and legs, I’m wondering if this is normal or maybe it’s my anxiety taking over my body. I have supposed to go on a trip out of the country this week, but due to my condition I moved the trip back to June. Just hoping for the best out of this horrible situation and that I can recover in time to go on my trip. If you have any advice please share!

When I do it, I feel it in my muscles and legs right above and below my knees. Around the knee itself it actually feels… tingly (idk how to properly describe it) and although not painful it has always been a distinctly uncomfortable sensation. Is that where the stretch is supposed to be? I’ve been led to believe it’s supposed to stretch your hamstrings on the back of your thighs, but it has never in my life done that. Where do normal people feel it? Perhaps I have misunderstood?
For context, I used to be flexible, but not anymore, instead I consider myself stiff. This came up because I am looking for a (gentle) stretch for the back of my thighs after a lot of (regrettable) physical labor. The ensuing joint pain finally abated but I was left with intense muscle tenseness. I know people with EDS should avoid or be careful with stretching, so I am only intending to do it to a very low intensity to help the muscle stiffness, not push myself.

We're close to 11 months post D-day...
The present bad: The body remembers the trauma the mind doesn't. I have been waking up anxious and with a lot of aches and pain. It's as if I am carrying an elephant and it's causing me not to breathe as much. Which is weird because I generally wake up in WH's arms which usually makes me feel happy. I'm also sometimes warped back into D-day hour zero. The feeling of incredulousness and rejection spreads through my body often like molten lava pouring from my head to my toes. When I get like this, I often check the APs SM/ Reddit just to make sure they're not thinking/ talking to WH. They're not. Everyone involved has moved on. So why am I the only one stuck?
The good though: I spent the day in between meetings coordinating upcoming plans with WH. I just realized that we're planning things way into the future: - My birthday trip to Disneyland - Baby Showers for the next 2 months - A big event happening on Labor Day weekend - Trying to get football tix for our college and NFL team. - Planning on either visiting my home country or Italy for our next anniversary - Moving to an area closer to our jobs after this coming school year when our youngest child goes to elementary school (2025)
It showed me how far we've come.
After D-day, with the triggers and spirals, I was approaching our relationship on an hour-by-hour basis.
After a few weeks, I approached it on a day-to-day basis...
It wasn't until month 6 that I confessed to him that I refuse to make plans with him beyond a few days because it feels like our terms are on a month-to-month basis. He was saddened by it but said he'll meet me at my pace.
Now we're 10 months and 3 1/2 weeks past D-day, and we're making plans roughly 18 months ahead. The pessimist in me wants to temper my plans, but the optimist is giddy with hope for a long-term future.
All this has been a testament to our hard work in IC, and in MC. He's been doing all the right things to be more transparent and honest with me. I've been doing my best to address my own shortcomings in the relationship so he no longer had any justification to have an A. I still fucking hate being cheated on and I hate that the APs existed in our lives, but I hope one day I won't find myself as filled with anger and resentment against them. I just want to focus on a future with him and our children.
ETA: I drafted this post while WH is in IC. When he got out, I asked him what he's ok sharing and he said he was just commenting to his IC how nice it is that we're making plans for the next 6 months together. I laughed and told him I was drafting this post about how weird it is we're making long-term plans. Then he said he wants to check out the new podcast episode of our favorite comedian, and I laughed again because I had it queued up in case he's interested. I love that we're so in sync again. Fuck the affairs though. He and I could have lost this completely. It took a lot of hard days, nights, job loss and thousands of dollars in IC and MC to get here. Hoping for a better future.