Cheesy things to say to a friend

An emo girl in band(no, I’m not just calling her emo because she cuts herself. She actually adopts an emo style and attitude), started cutting herself in 2022 During the marching band season at age 15. She kind of does it on and off as She was stop for months and then she would come back with a dozen or so new cuts. She doesn’t hide them, Even when they’re obviously extremely fresh. I have reported it before. She is in my section and class. Anyways, One day we were on a band trip which was out of state. We had just came back from A school which was in the middle of nowhere that we were practicing at at 7 AM and we were actually driving to our competition location at this point so it was during the daytime. We were on the charter bus and suddenly out of nowhere. She decides to stand up revealing both of her wrists, which had at least a few dozen cuts on them and asked me to count them. Her friend shakes his head. I’m confused, but I genuinely make a guess. The next day at 3 AM when we come back from the competition, she randomly runs into my arms To hug me out of nowhere. I know that she’s obviously a troubled person She does some strange things sometimes. She also says like literally anything that comes to her head So it’s actually kind of funny sometimes she just randomly insult Someone for no reason in class or something. But anyways, I’m autistic and I don’t understand a lot of things that Neurotypicals do so is this Some sort of emo code or something. Is this a common occurrence that happens in the emo Or mentally ill community. I also saw someone on Instagram comments a number on A video that showed a person with self harm on their wrist, getting it tattooed. I don’t know if counting scars is some sort of code for something else and I know this happened two years ago, but I’m still confused and still wondering what it means. I would ask her, but it would be kind of weird to bring up something she did two years ago out of nowhere.

I feel so guilty for the way I ended my relationship. As soon as I mentioned the idea of a breakup, he was completely caught off guard and got very angry. I tried to explain my reasons in that moment, but he told me that anything I said would make him feel worse, so I let him leave. He went home and tried every means of contacting me afterward to get an explanation. I tried to answer his questions over text, but when it became clear to me that he was just taking his frustration out on me and saying the most hurtful things he could think of, I decided to go no contact.
Since then, I haven't said a word to him, even though he's tried almost every means available to reach me. I just can't be on the receiving end of his anger and frustration again, like I was throughout the relationship.
My friends and family tell me to not contact him, and that I tried my hardest to give an explanation given the circumstances. Still, I feel so guilty for blindsiding him. For giving up and breaking things off permanently when he wanted a break to fix things. For not offering an explanation for the breakup.
Anyone in that situation would be caught off guard, and I don't blame him for not being able to control his emotions. I feel like I'm punishing him by not contacting him. He's now stopped trying to contact me, but I know that he's hurting. How do I stop myself from reaching out? How do I stop feeling guilty, when I ended things because of how horribly he treated me?

The title isn't a rhetorical question, I want to understand why people like her character sm and what you think of her.
People treat her like the most well written female character in the entire series when that's just not true, even as a child she was super overpowered, and always gifted when it came to being a soldier, this is fine as it gets explained that's she's a Ackerman, and they're strong, so she's not even REALLY a Mary Sue. My problem is she has absolutely NO personality besides in my favorite scene with her, the only one where she expressed any emotion besides Eren lust, in season 1 where she threatens the rich guy for stopping the evacuation, she seems concerned for her comrades here, but says nothing when she has to kill them later. She's ready to kill anyone she knows for her missions or Eren, she's the only one that never seems to have a issue with killing people she knew in s3 and in s4 ep 28, everyone else has always seemed to have trouble with killing, except her. Everyone goes through some development in aot even if it's small it's pretty good for side characters in a story like this.
Jean had his whole conflict with becoming a scout in the first place, and in s4 struggled to accept that the alliance had to happen because he knew what he was doing was wrong, he held on to Marco's death for a long time but ultimately ended up becoming just like Reiner which he accepted.
Historia has her whole conflict with her sorta wanting to die because she wasn't wanted by anyone and the church supposedly hated her, saying she was better off dead. Ymir saved her from her running away from her true self, making her want her oppression to end, the manga goes a bit more in detail with this but the anime doesn't.
Armin outside of thunder spear kills never actually killed a titan, but historia has funnily enough. Armin is considered the pacifist of the group but he has to battle with the guilt of killing people twice, in season 3 he has to kill people, seemingly massively effected by his killings while Mikasa just looks at him while he asks her how she felt about killing with a blank face, and in season 4 when he kills the people at the port. His whole thing about seeing the sea goes in line with Eren's desire for freedom, even if they aren't really the same, Armin wants to see the outside world because he's curious about it while Eren doesn't care that much about it, but he thinks that everyone deseves the freedom to see the outside world if they wanted to, because it's their right since they were born,(maybe he starts caring less about everyone on the island's individual freedom and starts caring about his friends since not everyone can have freedom, since you have to take other people's freedom away)its great. Erwin, floch, Kenny, magath, freckles Ymir, even rod Reiss are better when on screen, she's never said anything substantial in her entire existence.
And I hate how attack on titan tried to end with romance, they made Mikasa the key to stopping Ymir's love for king fritz, freeing her and stopping everything. So when Eren freed her? Nah, that was a fake freedom. ( I know she freed her from her love which is a little different but still)It's also lame because attack on titan was never even remotely about romance, why force it in your finale?

Hey everyone, I’m having a wine night with my friends and am currently driving to the store to get a bottle.
However, I’ve never had a wine before and am not a huge fan of alcohol as it is.
What would be a common good wine to try? As a tip. I really like fruity and sweet stuff. My favorite drinks are ice teas, lemonades and things of that nature.
Thank you!

I just took my AP world history Exams yesterday and there was this girl who was talking to her friends after the test and saying that she cheated on the exam. The way she was seated, I can see how she may have gotten away with it. Now this is all just from her talking but she has a history of cheating on other tests and things. Like she always finds a way. But I’m scared that if I report her our scores are going to be invalidated and all the work my other classmates and I put I to studying will go down the drain. I’m conflicted.

We currently have 2 trips that are scheduled, for 3 weeks after and for 7 weeks after. The 3 weeks after is for a family even so we definitely can't change the date but I told my sister-in-law we might not make it. 7 weeks after is something we booked before I had a surgery date but we likely could change it. My husband thinks I'm being overly cautious in not wanting to go on either trip and keeps saying things will get better and we should be able to go.

Cisa exam passed today. Here is my detailed exam experience, my experience and some things I didnt know until the exam.
For start exam was stresful! Time and exam management was very important. I did some things I would not do again. Here it goes.
Exam Day / Registry / Exam room
I took the exam at a psi center. My exam was scheduled at 8am. I found conflicting information online and in the mails about how early I should be exam center (one document said 15 min other 30 min). So I was there at 7.30. I could start right away, even though it wasn't 8 am yet. Which was very surprising for me.
The proctor then checked my ID, showed where I can store my stuff. In the exam room nothing was allowed, not even a water bottle. I could go out to the registry office to drink water or to the toilet. He showed me the room and left. I was alone the entire time. I was being watched by a camera.
Starting the exam / exam sections
There are different sections on the exam. First one is to get you familiar with the platform. It was just a picture, describing the navigational points for the pattform. And when I wanted to continue, a popup asked me "if I am sure to finish the exam" (or similar wording) which freaked me out a little. I had to say yes to that. After that a practice exam starts with few general irrelevant questions. You practice the hell out of that.! This is how the exam going to look. Back, forward, flagging, filtering, changing answers . You name it. There is a time limit for that but the actual exam time is not ticking yet.
Exam
First 20 min of the exam was the worst for me. I felt like I didnt get any questions right. Through out the exam I thought so but after the first 20 minutes, I was sure that there is a no chance that I will past. Through out the exam, I said to myself, that I am definitly not retaking the exam in this year.
In the official practice questions, you get a question and 4 answers. 2 of them are clearly wrong. Then it comes to your knowledge, experience gut feel to get the right answer.
But in the exam, all 4 answeres was a COULD BE for me. If I am lucky 3. I maybe had ca. 30 questions which I definitly knew I answered correctly. I flagged more than almost 60 questions.
A lot of the topics from the QEA database, didn't come on my exam. No PERT, Gantt etc, not soooo many BCP or project management.
A lot of Third-Party Service Provider, policy compliance, sampling, some PKI, connecting concepts, minimum 5 questions given a control and asking what kind of control that is. AND most importantly.. knowing the responsibility, decision-making, approaches, limits, what to do when.. as an IS Auditor. In various combinations of topics.
For that reason, I would say the questions really were based on experience / applicable knowledge..
End of the exam
Once all the questions are completed, same popup asks you again if you want to complete the exam. In my case "NO" since I had so many flagged questions.
After that, here are 2 surveys. One is about the learning experience, one test experience. Each of them you finish with the same popup and continiue. At the end of them, finally, your name and your test result shows on screen and you can breathe, you made it.
Exam strategy
Think about your exam strategy. That would have saved my some time stress at the of the exam and confusion.
I left some questions unanswered, flagged them. Some answered and flagged. It was a mess. What questions do you definitly want to review? What questions do you definitly not know? What to do with them, When to review?
Remember you can filter through "all, answered, unanswered, flagged" questions. Not combinable. If I were take the exam again,I would answer the questions I definitly know, and not flag them. I would probably leave a lot of questions unanswered at the first round. At the second round, if I am still unsure (depending on the time left) would answer but flag the ones, I want to review again.
My CISA lecturer said, his strategy and recommondation is to first read all the questions without answering any. So nothing can surprise you.
Preperation / experience
Attended a CISA course for 5 days in February. Intense learning for a month. But I do not work. So I could learn on average 7/8 hours a day. On Weekends never learnt.
Apart from that.. I have almost 8 years of security work experience. Not auditing. I found the exam very experience oriented.
If I were to recommend one thing it would be: ITAF. Read it. Understand it. Again and again. Use it.
I wish all the best. You can do it!

Not sure if I need to put a TW but this will discuss pregnancy / ttc
The title pretty much says it all. But to elaborate, my MIL is the mother of 3 boys, and she is constantly trying to emotionally manipulate or use weaponized incompetence to get attention from them… I have a lot of stories to tell about her, but the most recent is this
My BILs best friend and his wife are pregnant, and they just shared the news which BIL then shared with MIL last weekend when we were together. Her reaction was just… a lot.
First she talks about how they all thought they would never have kids. As if it’s any of her business, and they are also older, so who knows if they’ve been struggling with fertility these past several years.
Second, she talks about how the wife probably won’t let her husband go hunting or fishing anymore
And third, she says how she hopes they have a boy because they seem like such “boy parents” and she can’t imagine them ever having a girl.
This isn’t the first pregnant person she’s said this about either. Last year my best friend and husband’s best friend had a baby. After the gender reveal, MIL says how bad she feels for the husband that he isn’t having a son. She makes this comment multiple times throughout her pregnancy. And I vocally say how I can really picture the husband being a “girl dad” just to piss her off.
She makes this comment about soooo many people too, I’ve lost track. These are just two recent instances.
My husband and I are about to start ttc and I am secretly hoping for a girl just to spite her lmao (jokes)
Anyway, it’s just a really bizarre and gross thing to say and idk why boy mom MILs always seem to be the worst

Original Post: https://old.reddit.com/outerwilds/comments/1cfalvwill_i_regret_looking_things_up/
Yes. I would have regretted it. You all were right.
But more than that, you were kind and patient and understanding. I didn't realize just how frustrated I was at the time, but re-reading my comments... it's obvious. Yet people here didn't get defensive or write me off. Y'all just tried to help by gently nudging me in the right direction.
I now know that the level of frustration I was feeling wasn't really because I was stuck in the game or because I wasn't connecting (yet) with the story. In fact, it had little to do with the game at all. It was about what was happening outside of the game. I was caring for my elderly 14 year old dog, Esther, and I knew our time was coming to an end.
Esther was the alpha queen of our household. She ruled over 2 generations of our family and 10 other dogs in total (we rescue). She had a stoic dignity about her that you just had to experience. I know it sounds like hyperbole, but I am serious when I say I have never met another being quite like her - human or dog. The impact she has had on me and my family is profound.
This past year, when she slowed down substantially, I tried so damn hard to take her lead. To take my time with things, to enjoy each moment with her, to not focus on the end, to have some perspective about it all. I tried, and most days I think I did ok. But some days it was hard to not let the inevitable end of our time together affect me. Some days I would get extra upset over a work email, or extra impatient with one of the other pups, or really frustrated about... a fricken video game.
Esther passed away a few days after my original post. The sadness I feel is suffocating.
I don't have to tell any of you how the themes of this game connect to a situation like this. Life, friends, moments, sorrow, meaning, inevitable ends, acceptance. Reaching the end of the game a few days after her passing was emotional and heartbreaking and touching and... comforting. Yeah, comforting.
I'm still processing it all, but suffice to say, if I had rage quit or if I had just looked up spoilers to all of the challenging parts, the experience wouldn't have been the same. And I needed that experience. I needed it.

"The past is past, now, but that’s… you know, that’s okay! It’s never really gone completely."
"It’s the kind of thing that makes you glad you stopped and smelled the pine trees along the way, you know?"

So thank you, to everyone that was kind and helpful in my original post, to this community at large because I see how you foster this kindness here, and to anyone that has read all the way to the bottom of this.
I love and miss you, Esther.

Read this first https://www.reddit.com/ShingekiNoKyojin/comments/1csxjdx/before_the_battle/

• The cart with Zeke, and Reiner are heading back to the port, they are already late. They took too long waiting for the scouts and are thinking the ship isn't there. They are currently running back to the port. Reiner's limbs haven't regrown yet.

Zeke: "Reiner. I can't believe you. I understand that those spear things are new, however, when they were thrown, you are telling me you just let them hit you? It messed the whole plan up, Bertholdt didn't transform."
Reiner: "I think it is over for me. Wait a minute.. hey.. where's Bertholdt?"
Zeke: "Eren was holding him hostage, we couldn't get him. That is your fault. We lost the Colossal. You will be stripped of the armor, your group also lost Marcel, of course we have Porco. However, Marcel was more skilled. Now Annie is being held hostage. Now what Reiner? You will surely be stripped of the armor."
Reiner: "I-"

• Suddenly, in the distance, yellow light appears in Shiganshina

Zeke: "Pieck stop. They must have gotten a titan serum. Erwin is probably eating Bertholdt."

• Pieck stops, Reiner watches in horror. Then, steams comes out of the city.

Reiner: "It's my fault. My life is over. I didn't follow the plan"
Zeke: "It very much is, it was all your fault as well. What if other countries find out that we lost these titans? They won't hesitate to attack. If you dare to throw me under and blame me, I will set up a new warrior to eat you."

• Pieck runs to the port, some titans try to chase after her, but there aren't many. After 2 days they arrive, with no rest. Zeke told her to get there as fast as she could, so they might have a slim chance of reaching the boat.

Magath: "Where's the founder?"
Zeke: "Reiner?"
Reiner: "We failed because I didn't follow the plan, we lost Bertholdt as well, they have his power."
Magath: "You can't be fucking serious. We spent all that money and training for you and only you return? Marcel was lost the first day and now those 5 years were all for nothing?!"
Reiner: "Well we have some knowledge -"
Magath: "Reiner. All I will say is that you WILL be stripped of the armor. We wasted money on you. You're lucky we decided to return despite you not being here, Eldian."
Zeke: "The battle began after 4 days sir. Reiner didn't follow my plan. It is his fault."
Magath: "All 3 of us, get on the ship now, we need to talk about the information. Reiner, we will find a new warrior within 6 months."
Zeke: "The founding titan lays within Eren Yeager, he is my half-brother. My father Grisha, must've gotten away when he got sent to "heaven". It appears that the Attack Titan lays within Eren as well, since the only way Grisha could get to the walls was if he was a titan. We also don't know what happened to that titan as well. The scouts may come here soon, they will go beyond the walls after all they clear out all the titans. Should we send more?"
Magath: "I'm not sure yet. However if the world finds out that we lost 2 titans, we may be in trouble."

• 4 months later, Zeke meets with the Azumabitos and tells them about how Marley lost 2 titans. They publish newspapers around the world. Many countries in the Mid East unite to form a union, thinking they can beat Marley. The union declares war immediately.

Magath: "Reiner, you are incredibly lucky that someone told the outside world about the loss of our two titans. If you fight in this war and prevail victorious, you will not be stripped of the armor. That person will be tortured and killed."
Reiner: "I won't waste this chance, sir."
On Paradis, the scouts reach the sea. All the titans are gone and none are sent back to Eldia. Eren by each day, gets more miserable knowing what he is going to do. The country is blooming. The scouts saved Paraids, railways are being built as well as ports. However, there is debate to attack Marley or wait. People are not sure.
Currently, the M.E.A.F are winning the war.
Eventually, as we know leaves the Scouts after a meeting about treatment of subjects of ymir turns on them.
Eren plans a raid on Liberio, writes letters talking about how Zeke will join their side. Eren currently lives in a hospital, disguised as a wounded soldier, despite Eren fighting in the war.

Poor people pay very little taxes, and trillions a year is spent on things that benefit them like security, public school, scholarships, infrastructure, health care subsidies, and so on which they don't pay for. If you have a good family with good values you are likely to succeed in America. However a lot of people aren't fortunate enough to have good families and good values. That isn't their fault but it also isn't the governments fault or the patriarchy or the whyte man. If two parents make 35k a year that's 70k for a household which isn't great but its not poverty whatever people say.

So i got my DWI a couple months ago and fast forward to this week. My attorney said that the arresting officer didnt show up for the ALR hearing so I get to keep my license for the time being,, Thats a good thing I guess but now my attorney is saying I need to pay him $160 for him to send a subpoena to the arresting officer.. What for since the officer never showed up the ALR hearing? Also he quoted me that it was going to be around $90 a while back and I just got the invoice for $160. What gives hes charging me another 50 for no reason. Do I need to subpoena the officer?? please help.

Something thats repeatedly said to us throughout the series is that Mace is incredibly overconfident in his abilities both as a warrior and battle commander. As Tyrion puts it:

Tyrion had to bite his tongue at that. Robb Stark had won more battles in a year than the Lord of Highgarden had in twenty. Tyrell's reputation rested on one indecisive victory over Robert Baratheon at Ashford, in a battle largely won by Lord Tarly's van before the main host had even arrived. The siege of Storm's End, where Mace Tyrell actually did hold the command, had dragged on a year to no result, and after the Trident was fought, the Lord of Highgarden had meekly dipped his banners to Eddard Stark.

Its pretty clear that Mace is not exactly Westeros' greatest military commander. And that would be fine if he was at least self-aware about this but he isn't:

"Storm's End." Lord Mace Tyrell grunted the words. "He cannot take Storm's End. Not if he were Aegon the Conqueror. And if he does, what of it? Stannis holds it now. Let the castle pass from one pretender to another, why should that trouble us? I shall recapture it after my daughter's innocence is proved."
How can you recapture it when you have never captured it to begin with? "I understand, my lord, but—"

As Kevan correctly recognizes, Mace has deluded himself into thinking he captured Storms End when he failed to do so twice.
Lacking the ability to do something but recognizing this shortcoming is a good thing because it allows you to plan around that and ensures you dont bite off more than you can chew.
Mace doesnt recognize this. As such, the next battle he commands he will lose.
Now against who?
Well Aegon and Jon Connington have just shown up on Kings Landings doorstep.
Connington and Aegon's forces are and likely will remain relatively small (~10k I believe). Dorne's forces are awhile away even if they decide to join. In theory, the time to hit them is now before others gather to their banner.
I think there is around 30-40k Reach troops around the capital between Randyll and Mace. My guess is he will split those forces because even with splitting them in half he will outnumber his enemy by quite a bit. Hes also just going to need to leave some forces at the capital anyway.
My guess is at some point Mace will be persuaded or decide to attack Aegon. And like his father riding off a cliff, he will run straight into a hard battle against the best army in Essos (the Golden Company) and Jon Connington. A man who Kevan had this to say:

If this is indeed Jon Connington, he will be a different man. Older, harder, more seasoned...more dangerous.

There is also just the meta element that the story is starting to move beyond Mace (arguably it always has been). The war in the Reach with Euron will be fought by his sons, the conflict in Kings Landing is more between Cersei and Margaery. His presence in the story is not going to be necessary for much longer.
TL;DR Mace Tyrell is going to lose his next battle. Likely to Jon Connington and the Golden Company

Check the comments for a description of who to look for!
FAQ is located at the bottom of this post.
WHERE?
The Midlands Beer Garden
3333 Georgia Ave NW
Happy hour deals: none after 6:00, bring your own happiness or ask a friend to lend you some
Convenient to the green line @ Georgia Ave/Petworth
WHAT?
We are an informal meetup group gathering at bars around the District. All we want is to socialize after a long week and make new friends. All are welcome - whether you’re an old school Washingtonian, a recent transplant, or (gasp) not a Redditor, this group is for you!
WHO?
We’ll be there starting at 6:00pm. Each week's host will let you know where we are in the bar and who to look for. Keep in mind that we may move around, so check the comments for updates.
A SPECIAL NOTE:
This happy hour is meant for people to gather and feel comfortable interacting with folk, both new and old. You can, and will, be asked forcefully to not return if you are being a massive dick or an active creep! Please let the host or guest host know if you feel uncomfortable or in danger from any participant, whether it's to the level where you want someone to be on the lookout to bail you out of a conversation if they approach you again or if you think they shouldn't be allowed to return.
Respect people's personal space always, as well as a no when it's given to you. And don't be a stereotypical Redditor when it comes to talking to women in particular--this is not a place to pick up a date.
Yes, measuring how big of a dick or a creep one is being may be a subjective thing, and similarly, yes, we do not care about that! Consider not making people uncomfortable if you are worried about this note.

Yesterday my Company took an ACFT I noticed most people had a decent amount of difficulty with the standing power and I've heard it's a similar situation in other units so I figured I'd offer up some helpful tips.
The first thing to consider is that this Event is significantly more about form than raw strength (obviously there's outliers on either side of that) but id say this is probably the event that requires the most focus on proper technique in order to do well.
Secondly: There's three key elements to focus on and are as follows:
1: Hand position: I've noticed a lot of folks tend to grip the ball on either side with fingers spread. This requires more pressure to keep the ball in your hands and generally leads to a late release. Ideally you almost cup the Medicine Ball with both hands underneath( fingers still spread) with as little pressure as possible. The best analogy for this I can think of is how a catapult is loaded.
2: Release: I see a lot people release either directly above their head or farther. This leads to a "line drive" that doesn't maximize the arc you want to achieve to get the ball further. Essentially you want to release the ball just after it crosses your eyeline but before your arms reach your ears( and ensuring your arms are straight the entire time). The Ball should almost leave your hands naturally with very little conscious effort in releasing it

1. Lower Body Explosive power: I've seen Soldiers try to strictly use upper body strength to throw the ball and their not maximizing the power their lower body generates. Best advice for this is think of your lower body as a spring, and as you bend forward your compressing that spring as much as possible, keeping the muscles tightened and then as the ball comes up your releasing that spring with as much power as possible.

A few exercises that can help with the SPT and getting you used to full body explosive movements are broad jumps, thrusters, and American Kettlebell Swings,with KB swings having the added benefit of replicating almost all of the SPT movements. A good practice for Hand Position and Release point can simply be holding the med ball, and without any added movements, throw it backwards, keeping note of how your hands are positioned and where your releasing the ball( essentially breaking the STP into individually focused steps). Hope this is helpful.

i assume this won't get much attention, but i kind of just need to talk.
i (18 AFAB ENBY) had a therapy appt yesterday, in which i confided in him that i believed i was being groomed by my ndad. i let him read my journal entry that i wrote (i have a journal in my phone to express my feelings when i'm not in therapy). in my entry, i describe some triggering things my dad did to me that were sexually inappropriate throughout my tween and teen years (9-16).
my therapist read it, confirmed that it was grooming, and told me outright that i am a victim of sexual abuse. smth smth "you were a victim, now you're a survivor," "you were a child, you were innocent," "it wasn't your fault," "he's a sick man" smth smth. all the usual comforting things he tells me. it's appreciated, but not exactly a way to cope.
i confided in my friends (20M, 18M, 17M, 17ENBY) and my boyfriend (20M). all of them offered me comfort and a space to confide in them. they also cracked some jokes that lightened the mood (the usual "your dad sucks," "if i see him, i'll...").
i finally confided in my mom (44F, w/ BPD) and she was kind of dismissive, which is normal. although, she did say that he's a "jerk" (euphemism of the century) and that he was "weird" for what he did to me.
everyone in my life (therapist, friends, partner, mom) all agree that i'll never have an answer to why, which is smth i desperately crave. my therapist says nothing i could've done would've warranted it (self-blame is an issue i have). my partner says "because [he] wanted to" will probably be the only conclusion i come to. my friends revolve that he's a "piece of shit" and "fucked in the head" and that's why. my mom says i don't think like him (like a narcissist), so i'll never understand anyway.
i don't know how to cope. i feel like i need an answer to get better, because as irrational as it is, i can't help but wonder if it was just me. like i did something to provoke him. like i deserved it somehow. i'm trying to convince myself that it was just his fucked up head. has anyone else gone through this?

Background: I've had my precious cat for almost 10 years now. They were a street cat that found me and made their way into my home. Initially, my roommates and I adopted the cat collectively, but almost immediately it was clear that they intended from the start that I would be the "owner" of the cat. I wasn't pleased at all, but we negotiated that they would pay for the cat's neuter and vaccines if I would take the cat when I moved, which I did. I love this cat and don't regret having them, but I definitely should not have taken on the responsibility. Despite being a very chaotic person, over the years I managed to accommodate the cat through the difficulty of finding pet friendly housing, navigating my mental health struggles, and the restrictions that having a pet places on one's life.
Last year, one day the cat got out at night and just didn't come home, I flyered and knocked on doors to no avail. Days into weeks into months of no cat. Then one day, almost exactly 3 months after they disappeared, a neighbor called - they "found" my cat (I'm suspicious of the circumstances). I came home, paid them the reward, and, in a state of shock, brought the cat home. I wasn't entirely grateful to be honest. I went through the whole grief process, 3 months, I was sure they were gone and I had moved on. I still love them, but their return is actually stressing me out a lot.
My life circumstances and mental health have improved greatly in the past couple of years, I'm ready to do a little more exploring and then settle down for my 30's. When I was sure that the cat was gone, I certainly mourned, but I also felt very freed after awhile. I never should have taken on the responsibility in the first place, but I was young and stupid. I didn't fully realize how restricted I felt until I could make plans and do things without having to think of them first for the first time in almost a decade.
I don't know what to do with the cat. I'm tired of jerking them around with my constant moving, I can't take them with me for a lot of places I want to spend time in the next year. I just had them boarded with an acquaintance for a month long trip, the price was right and they did an ok job taking care of the cat, but it's only good for shorter stints. I don't know how much less stressful long term boarding is than rehoming if I could even find someone that would take them for 3+ months. I don't have a place that I can sublet on a pet sitting trade.
I'm considering rehoming. I'm pretty sure it is the right choice. They are a very sweet and affectionate cat that deserves a stable and loving home. I appreciate your thoughts.

For instance, if someone was known to be horrible in the past, throws tantrums, being difficult around others like parents, friends, and the people around them. There are also people who have been manipulative and have done other bad things like being a bully. How do they forgive themselves and show compassion for themselves, if they regret their actions? Isn't that an excuse to condone their actions and ignore what they did?

I live in Brooklyn and there is a person in our apartment building who clearly struggles with personal hygiene. It would be one thing if the smell—a rancid, unwashed, miserable stench—was limited to his unit but over several months it has spread to the landing outside his apartment and has now traveled up several floors via an open stairwell (Yes, he is alive). The building is relatively large and the smell is taking over. He's also not the only one living in the unit—he has three dogs who are maybe contributing to the odor but don't have a say in their conditions either way.
I hope this post doesn't come across as insensitive—I have a pretty high tolerance for weird neighbors but this is just sad and gross. Any advice?
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