Middle school locker room

I am looking for experiences transitioning an older primary child to Montessori from either parents or guides.
We finally moved to an area that has authentic Montessori schools, and have finally received a spot at our desired school after 1.5 years on a waitlist (August 2024 start date). He would remain in the program through upper elementary (there is no middle school option in my area), so this would not be a short term stop for him. He would start in a primary classroom and likely transition to elementary within a year due to his age.
My son has been at a regular run of the mill academic focused daycare since about 1 year old and is finishing up his “pre-k” year.
He is neurotypical, no known disabilities (although I do suspect some slight attention issues - I myself have ADHD but managed to thrive in Montessori as a child). He is empathetic, sweet, and very social (another of my concerns in switching to montessori). He is an excellent reader, loves art, and of course playing (what kid doesn’t). He is very eager to please and is used to having a lot of engagement and routine in his current / previous schools.
My question is - how do children at this age adapt to Montessori when they have been accustomed to such an extrinsic motivation system? How can I prepare him to succeed during the transition period? I am primarily concerned with his happiness at this point, I overall trust the Montessori philosophy in terms of skill/ content acquisition and we have many Montessori materials in our home.
A side question, the school we got a spot in teaches only cursive. He has worked very hard on his print writing in his current program and is rightfully very proud of his work. How should a guide approach this with him as to not discourage or put down the hard work he has already done? What should I look out for?

I'm a middle and high school art teacher for a small school. I'm also fairly young (25) and am about to conclude my 2nd year as a teacher.
Recently I've been reviewing my last years' successes and failures, and I have realized just how much I have improved as a teacher.

• Recently I had my very first angry parent email (us special classes don't interact much with parents) and my bosses congratulated me on how well I handled it.
• My lesson plans are now much more age appropriate. I have stopped teaching too complex of subjects to my 6th graders and viceversa with my seniors.
• I have developed a much better relationship with my seniors, who now see me much more as an authority figure than a peer (kinda difficult when you're 23 and your oldest seniors are 20)
• I have a much better grip of discipline, and setting appropriate standards of conduct.
• My students are just so much more interested in the subject, and I have given them much more interesting projects than before.

I know I'm still very young, and I have a lot to learn and a lot of failures to come, but I'm just so proud of the improvements I've made since I first started. I can't wait to become an even better teacher.
What kind of victories have you had lately?

~~~ skip to this if you just want dog rage
My bf's mom decided to get a whole new dog after their old one passed away from old age. She now has a chronic illness that prevents her from doing even the smallest task (i wish her well, and she is not really the problem here).
The parents decided on a whim to adopt one without my bf's approval. Thats fine and all, they're adults and they can do whatever they want, right?
It turns out the mom was the main caretaker and trainer for the dogs. Now the burden is put on my bf alone even though he didnt even want the darn dog.
Bf works a full time job, studies, and does all the responsibilities he had before, plus his mom's share (this includes cleaning, vaccuming, dusting every week all by himself with a POMERANIAN. I could knit a little baby onesie with all the fur it shed this year alone). The mom has honestly been improving, but her mobility is so limited that her menial tasks take up 15 minutes every hour of his free time
And his dad is the breadwinner of the house that works from home, so it's natural that he... also tells my bf to do things (that he is able to do himself), like putting a mattress pad on his own bed. Or letting the dogs out when he's literally seated by the back door. Or waking my bf up when he wakes up to go to work (at 5am) just to make him feed the dogs (since middle school! 5-6 hours of sleep is the norm for him at his own house)
~~~
Ive been staying at my bf's house some days to help them out in emergencies. In fact, ive potty trained the 2 year old (now 3 year old) pom after about 3 weeks of excrement-filled night terrors. She is the sweetest little thing that wont bark unless theres intruders...
Which means the dad doesn't know when the hell to let her out. He puts in no effort to put them on a schedule DESPITE being the only one in the house during the daytime.
During work hours its okay because he has them corraled in his work room. But as soon as he takes a break in the living room, he zones out on the couch with whatever game or movie he's watching. His work, having constant meetings from 5am to around 11am, is not the problem.
He would literally take them out to pee at his lunch break at 11am and not even check on them until my bf gets home. At that point, just put them in the kennel! But he'd rather they be laying all around the living room or cuddling up to him on the couch. Suddenly, when my bf comes home, there's a puddle right outside the door! Who'da thunk?
Doesnt play with them. Doesnt remember to take them out aside from 1) after their 5am meal and 2) when he remembers to eat a snack/breakfast).
Yet he still wants them to roam around like theyre not just fluffy accessories at this point. Hell, if the game/show is really good, he will forget to feed them altogether and TELL MY BF to do it when he gets back (2.5 hours after their feeding time.... 4 shitstains and 2 pee puddles later. Several occasions). No arthritis or debilitating conditions either; he's just lazy.
The worst thing is that he pretends that she's not trained because she has "puppy brain". Sir, that dog is over 3 years old (vet confirmed). She'd be a grown adult with a partner and a mortgage on a small house in the outskirts of Mississippi if she were a human. Stop calling her dumb just because you wont do the bare minimum
And he totally ignores when she walks her happy ass to the door when i say "outside," and she needs to pee. I LITERALLY DID THE HARD WORK. YOU JUST NEED TO SAY A PHRASE EVERY HOUR OR SO. And every day he cares for her is another little bit of my training being flushed down the toilet. Just like my sanity these past few months.
And if it were not for my bf, they would just LEAVE THE SHIT AND PISS THERE TO DRY AND ATTRACT ANTS. He stayed at my apartment for like 3 days and there was....
1) shit by the front door (they have a puppy door to prevent them from going there) 2) a COMPLETELY DRY piss puddle under a solid wood chair by the back door. Complete with that wrinkly, hairy looking debris that you get with piss on tile. 3) 3 SEPARATE instances of poop. One had a 2 foot long snail trail that was connected by some sort of hair??? DISGUSTING. How could you not pick that up. 4) a freshly pissed puddle by the back door. According to the tile length, about 1 foot by 1 foot in diameter. IMPOSSIBLE TO MISS
And absolutely no intent on training the dogs either themselves or with a trainer 🤗
I swear to dog all these bad dog owners have in common are their laziness and excuses. Plus a dash of weaponized incompetence. Anyone else have experience with a good dog but terrible owner? Just like with kids, i feel like they'd thrive if they lived in a better home.
Tl;dr Why leave the 🐶 dogs OUT of the🔒kennel as someone who 🖥 works from 🏠 home? Because the 💩 poop and 🍵pee stains give the house 💖character💖 and we get our money's worth out of our son-maid 🥰
And sorry if the post was too long 😅

I got to the city gym to swim. I locked my car door, went inside, went to the locker room, left my clothes and keys in a locker UNLOCKED, then went swimming.
2 gentlemen came in and asked the man at the desk if they could “get a drink of water”. He allowed them in, past the key-swiping entrance. They went all around the building and eventually into the pool locker room. They dug through my bag and got my keys.
Then, for some reason, they put on SKI MASKS, and walked out the building. They found my car and drove off.
This happened while I was doing laps.
Do I have a cause of action? Simple negligence? Some type of breach of contract action?
Clearly I can prove damages.
I’m a taxpayer so I’d be indirectly suing myself but idgaf. This is inexcusable.
Do I have recourse?

I got to the city gym to swim. I locked my car door, went inside, went to the locker room, left my clothes and keys in a locker UNLOCKED, then went swimming.
2 gentlemen came in and asked the man at the desk if they could “get a drink of water”. He allowed them in, past the key-swiping entrance. They went all around the building and eventually into the pool locker room. They dug through my bag and got my keys.
Then, for some reason, they put on SKI MASKS, and walked out the building. They found my car and drove off.
This happened while I was doing laps.
Do I have a cause of action? Simple negligence? Some type of breach of contract action?
Clearly I can prove damages.
I’m a taxpayer so I’d be indirectly suing myself but idgaf. This is inexcusable.
Do I have recourse?

I am career science teacher. Recently, a new temporary contract teacher (an LTO), took over a chemistry contract for the year.
A few days ago, I observed their class doing a chemistry lab with stations set up around the room. However, there was a glaring lack of safety precautions. None of the students were wearing goggles, some were sitting on desks while conducting experiments, and the lab benches remained unused. Students were even walking around with glassware. The LTO was casually reclining behind the front desk with his legs up. It looked like one of those lab cartoons that we show.
Science and tech teachers, I wonder, what would you do if you had a colleague like this? Are my safety lessons considered old school? I always do them because there are curriculum expectations, like knowing WHMIS and HHPS and I view lab safety as similar to occupational health and safety (i.e. always wear closed toed shoes), it's training so students know what to do ahead of time just in case.
I said something to this teacher and sent over some safety powerpoints, however, I don't sense cohesion among the ranks, the other science teachers give this the side-eye but have not said anything, they might even view it as 'not their job to say anything'. Given the background of my current administration, I highly doubt that they understand lab safety around chemicals. Does the union care about these types of things?
Tech teachers, what if this lax approach to safety occurred in a carpentry or automotive workshop?
Science teachers, is lab safety passé?

So my husband got extremely angry at me today and asked me to erase my instagram. A little back story on this instagram account, I made it in 2019, he asked me not to follow him and he did not want to follow me. He has a few posts and has a very few followers (like 100) but his profile is on private so I couldn’t tell you more. I on the other hand have a lot of followers in comparison(1500+) from when my profile was public. I have it private now since we now have children and I also barely use it. It’s just there, I recently got followed and followed an ex of his. Him and I have been together since 2017 and she isn’t like his last ex or anything (I think they dated in middle school) dont really know, didn’t really care. We live in a fairly small town, we have a lot of friends in common, we both have two children and we both are married. (I could tell from her ig) and I honestly didn’t think much of it. So today he started yelling at me bc of this follow. Saying I was embarrassing him and humiliating him by following her back? He says I’m being messy, mind you, I don’t have pictures of him nor out babies (per his request) so what tf. Does it make sense to anyone??
Tl;DR - husband wants me to erase my instagram because an old ex of his and I followed each other

There were two people in front of me who were cheating on the FRQ section (at least then it was obvious). They were in the front of room and I was behind them and I know at least 4 people know, including me, about this because at one point one of the people in front of me literally put his hand on the other persons test paper to push the page down so he could look at his paper better and me and 2-3 people around me literally laughed. It was so obvious that they were helping each other throughout the whole FRQ. We are the only BC class in our school and we got close and I think no one will report this but I feel conflicted because regardless they are cheating. TO ADD... THEY LITERALLY STARTED TALKING TO EACH OTHER... there was only 30 people in that room and the teachers who were proctoring literally were on their phones the whole time. It was so obvious but I don't want to fuck them over like that because they are smart students and they have a lot to give in their high school career and I do not want to mess that up for them. help me 😞

I don't really know why I'm writing this ... I think it's because I've tried to explain it to my uncle but all he said is that I should get my addiction under control and stop forgetting to take my meds.
I can't blame him. You see... I have a history. I've lost it in the past , twice actually. I'm not here to talk about it , but I think it's important to lay this down first. So you can understand.

I've been told something's wrong with my brain, maybe I was born this way, maybe I've been through too much. That my mother was an addict, she'd cut ties with her family for 10 years when she had me. That where she had been and who my father was, is was very unclear. She was part of a community in the forgotten part of the nearest big city when she died. I was there when it happened.
My uncle Sean and Aunt Maggie became my guardians just before my 5th birthday and I'm still with him 20 years later. Maggie left the ranch a few weeks ago after an amicable divorce, I never understood why they were together anyway she was always working somewhere, traveling a lot. I was closer to him and his sturdy way of life.

When I first arrived at the ranch, I was in a bad shape. I got better thanks to him but when I reached thirteen, all the memories from my early childhood suddenly came back. I started having flashbacks. My memories came back, but they came back wrong.

I had been told that my mother had died of an untreated infection. Yet in my dreams, I saw her , again and again , in a pool of blood. An then... Then it came. The... Thing. I won't describe it. It kind of triggers something in me that I really don't need right now.

I've been told that what happened next was so traumatic that my brain made up a monster, a fiction , to make sense of what I was seeing and not processing.
This ... Thing started obsessing me and during my early teenage years I focused all my energy on finding what it was and proving it happened. That a monster did kill and mutilated my mother. My nightmares were so bad that I stopped sleeping. I drank so much energy drinks that I ended up in the hospital twice with severe dehydration.

Thankfully, I got better. I started working more and more with my uncle's horses. I think it's why he employed me, he saw how manual work and caring for the animals helped. I even got my first girlfriend around my 17th year. I was prom king. Who would have thought?
But then... She had a cheerleading accident. In front of me. And I lost it again. I won't go into details but she broke her neck during half-time and once again... The way she fell, folded and screamed. I couldn't process. It was IT. It'd shapeshifted to get to her. I'm ashamed of it but I became violent. Looking for it franticly. Screaming non sense and talking made up words. I had to be sedated. She made it alive, but she never wanted to see me again. I was accused by pretty much everyone to make the accident all about myself. And they were kind of right....

Now you know how I came to be the " crazy" guy. I have a bit of a drinking problem too to be honest... You see I never went back to high school. I started working full time at the ranch when I came by, and sometimes, it gets lonely. It's not rare to find me passed out in the hay in the early morning in the summer. And what can I tell you... I know I shouldn't. I know it's "bad" . But I love those nights. I put music , cuddle with my dog and just look at the cold bright stars, drinking beer until they start spinning.

It's because of this bad habit that I realized something was wrong with the horses. You see, contrary to the movies, horses are pretty silent. They don't neigh unless you separate them from their best mate or bring food. And that night... The night it all started. They wouldn't stop. I could hear them galloping and snorting. I wondered if there was a stray dog but they were used to dogs. I was a bit worried. Horses get stupid when they are afraid and we had a big show coming, it wasn't the time so sprain a leg. What really troubled me was my dog. He seemed ... Weird.
Max was a pit mix my uncle had rescued when I was 15. He only woke when I got up and walked a bit to look at the paddocks. That's when I realised the moon behind me. It was huge, and red. I wondered if I had ever seen it so close and so red before. I looked at Max The white of his eyes showed and he started whining. I had never heard him make this noise. Ever.

I looked at my phone. It was quarter to three. I took a pitchfork to be safe and walked toward the clubhouse. We kept a shotgun there in a locker. The horses kept going crazy and max's tail was stiff. I was walking fast but carefully in the darkness when the music reached me. A chant. A low chant. I kind of felt it too... Like a ... vibration.
It was coming from the yearlings field near the forest patch, on the opposite direction of the clubhouse. My horse was in this field. I backtracked immediately and rushed toward the sound as I dialled my uncle. Off course he didn't answer. He didn't live on the property anymore but a few miles away. I left a message, whispering. " I'm at the stable, something weird ‘s happening. I think they're people messing with horses I'm going to see. I think you should come , I don't know...Call me back.". The weird chant buzzed in the background, louder, as if more people had joined. I saw the glow of the fire before I passed the last building. It rose , under the bloody moonlight. Dark figures circled around it. Slowly. The horses seemed to have retreated at the other end of the pasture and I was relieved. Until I saw it. The figure at the centre of this dark carousel. " What the f are those creeps doing" escaped my lips.
blazing fury filled me , like a white iron like a white hot blade blinding me . "HEYYYY" I screamed at the top of lungs. " WHAT ARE YOU DOING !? ". The figures stopped and turn toward me. I was running now , my knuckles going white around the pitchfork's stick. Max was growling. A deep growl. His hair high upon his backbone. The figure, still pretty far did not move. I could see their heavy hooded cloaks. " what kind of sick pricks are those " I muttered. " HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY" I screamed again, louder than I ever thought I could scream. And then I saw him. Gun.
Gun was my uncle's favourite horse. His old stallion's spitting image. The young horse was lying in front of the fire behind the intruders.
"WHAT DID YOU DO! I'M CALLING THE COPS!!!!". I stopped and was dialling when a figure detached itself from the group and advanced. It seemed to ... float? It moved toward Max and I... so silently.
The burning rage in veins turned cold , and heavy. I opened my mouth but nothing crossed my lips. Suddenly, Max jumped. He growled in a way I hope to never hear any dog do again. A desperate, furious growl. A life or death sound. A war cry... His warm blood spattered on my face. He... Honestly I don't know what happened at that moment. Something lied bloody on the ground but I couldn't even have told that it used to be a dog, even less Max. Acid tears filled my eyes as I realized my mouth was still open. I was tasting him.
I wanted to scream, to run, to just get swallowed by the earth and yet I did nothing at all but stare at the floating silhouette. It was so tall. " Come, my child". " We were waiting for you, we knew you'd come, Your father told us you'd be here when we'd call".
I heard those words, but I wouldn't be able to tell you anything about the thing who spoke them. I say thing because it didn't have a voice. It... Buzzed. Like... a cello.
Suddenly... I floated too. Panick seized me. Like a trapped raccoon in my
chest it dug its claws, scratching furiously my closed throat.
" Your father said you were ready. We will prepare you." I was now in front of the crackling blaze. the other figures circling me. Smiling Men and woman welcomed me. On their faces they all wore a similar mark. a cross covering their eyes horizontally, and their nose and mouth vertically. Their hands... Their hands were still dripping with gun's inside. Gun... Was ... opened.
" A necessary sacrificed" whispered a woman, still smiling. " I know you liked him very much... I'm sorry..." " I could have taken yours, but I knew you wouldn't have forgiven me'. Her voice. .." Aunt Maggie?' I croaked. Her eyes shone with a mad light. " Gosh do you look like your mother tonight... She'd be so proud. Her baby boy..." .
The tall figure made a gesture and I spined and found myself looking at the sky. I thought I'd fallen but... I wasn't touching the ground...
My aunt continued speaking." She was just like you the first time ... So... naive, so afraid.. She was only 16! That was our mistake you see, she wasn't ready for her destiny yet when she joined us... That's why we waited for you."
The chant , the low buzzing chant rose once again. The people around me started walking in a circle around me. I was just above Gun's body.
One, by one, they buried they hands in the belly of the horse and traced the cross on my face. I sealed my lips as tight as I could as the warm blood covered my face. Through the blood and tears I recognize faces. A nurse from the hospital. A teacher. The coffeeshop barista. My psychiatrist... I closed my eyes.
It was a nightmare. It couldn't be anything but a nightmare.
Yet the smell of the horse's inside and the crackling fire still reached me as they started ripping my clothes off.
" This is not real" I whispered. " This is not real, this is not real THIS IS NOT real" I screamed weakly.
'Oh , My dear I'm so sorry ' whispered my aunt. I should have told you earlier... But Dr Carter said it was better to let you grow up a bit first. He said it help you keep the secrets if you were afraid of them. I'm sure you don't feel this way, but it was an honour to watch your mother ascend the way she did. Her agony was the most beautiful thing she could have hoped for. You were supposed to ascend with her but she ruined it". " Slut" groaned a middle aged woman before spitting on the floor.
" She was my best friend you know... I thought I knew her. I thought I could trust her. But she lied to me."
"You see, we know you are his son. But... She wasn't a virgin when she was honoured."
She smiled. " It doesn't matter how cruelly she tricked us. You can help us find the perfect girl."
One by one, each member traced a symbol on my skin.
" You're so handsome... He'll be so glad. The perfect boy. The perfect vessel."
"It's almost time, Prepare" hissed the tall figure.
" You're going to give him his heir, the one ruler among the realms. You see he can't travel here whenever but you're an anchor my love. Each generation he choses an anchor until he finds one who'll give him THE son, the one who'll die for his freedom. Our freedom."
"QUIET SLAVE AND KNEEL" shrieked the tall figure.
She kneeled right near me, and whispered " You're...". I heard a slash. Aunt Maggie’s face slid horizontally. Her eyes followed me as the upper part of the face slid slowly toward the ground.
" HAIL THE PRINCE".
A chant, colder and louder than never before rose with the crackling flames toward the moon.
" Iä! Shub-Niggurath! The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young! » chanted the disciples."
Frozen, I watched the blazing sky above and saw a door. A perfect wooden door , in the sky. It slowly cracked open as the crowd turn to hysterics and the chant turned to mad screams.
"MY SOOOOOOOON" The whole earth seemed to split open under the weight of the sound coming from the perfect rectangle of empty darkness in the sky.
And then... I saw... I saw what I had tried to forget for twenty-years. I saw those split red eyes and their evil glare. I saw the iron hooves at the end of too many legs. I saw the tentacles who fled my mother with their thousand beaks. Everything all at once, I saw it shift, from an odious form to a more loathsome one. I burned in a way I'll never be able to describe.
I woke up two weeks ago in the nearest hospital. I was found on the ground, surrounded by the yearlings, the corpse of gun and some remains of Max. My uncle explained to me that I had found a bear feasting on Gun, that Max must have attacked it and I'd fainted or been knocked out trying to scare it away. Laying lifeless had saved me. I didn't speak of what I saw at the hospital. I knew better now. I've tried to explain to my uncle why I had to move out to the big city. That I had a mission now. That I had never been crazy and that I shouldn't have been afraid.
I know now that I'm blessed. You see he thinks I'm just having another episode, that it’s a "manic" episode and I should go back to the clinic, but I know better now. I am special. I am. And he can be too. Anyway... He'll be whether he joins or not. You'll all be. Because he is coming. He 'll bless us all. Because you see, I know I can find her and I'll give him the perfect door. A door to let him in. A door to let all of him in. He'll honour us all, all at once.
" Iä! Shub-Niggurath! The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young! »

Sorry this is so long but i would appreciate it if you read it.
I'm new here and i dont even know where to start. reddit is the absolute last place i would ever come to say something but i have given up all hope at this point. for context, i'm 15f and have never had any history with mental health issues. it started all fairly recently in like February. i dont even know where to begin. i have many friends and everyone thinks that im so funny but honestly i truly hate myself and this world. i've never told anyone about my problems, not even my parents, but they know i cry a lot. they always ask me whats going on, if its anything at school, if its a guy, or if im getting bullied, but its truly none of that. my problem is that every single day is the same exact thing but while everyone is living it im just simply here existing. i know that i am capable of so much more than this but i feel so trapped in this life where im just supposed to go to school, do my sports and my homework and im not allowed to be just mentally exhausted by the end of it. and yes, i know everyone has this problem and this is just how life works but i honestly i guess im too weak or something and just cant handle it. i feel vulnerable talking about this all so just stay with me. i feel like people think im someone who im really not, and in their defense i dont show anyone the real me. i just act stupid for laughs so naturally everyone thinks im just an idiot. i dont feel smart but at the same time i know i also could be, and honestly wish i was. i dont want my life now to define me and who i am. off topic but i also wish i was prettier. im skinny and got bullied a lot for it but really never cared. ive always never really cared about what people think, and around my friends im an extremely confident person. ive never had a bf but ive also never needed one, and i dont find purpose in dating in my generation, i think im too young and id look for someone who deeply understands me. ive never cared about what a guy has thought of me, or what anyone has for that matter. ive never cared about anything until recently and have been feeling extra numb lately. i know i need purpose in life but im sick of trying to figure out who im truly meant to be and what im "destined" to do. ik, sounds cliche. i just want to be who i am when im alone. recently everything has gotten worse. ive tried so hard to fix it, but ive lost all motivation. i like to learn new stuff, so ive just been doing that. i never liked to read but ive started that lately. ive also eaten healthier and worked out because i thought it would make me feel better. i took a break from all of that lately because im just too tired to do it and have doubts about it fixing anything. i just wish i was perfect and actually happy. ive started to isolate myself from everyone and just stay in my room and cry, watch something, or be alone. many of my friends have asked me to hang out recently and every time i blew them off saying i was busy when really i needed to be alone. i dont want to lose them, they make me laugh and forget about my problems but a lot of the time, especially my closer ones. i really do love some of them, the ones who i can truly be myself around, the ones who dont judge me. ive never confided in them about my problems because i feel too vulnerable, and im also just afraid of pushing them away. i dont want this to define me because its not who i am at all, i just think im just too mentally drained. i would blame everything on my phone but my screen times only a few hours, although i have come to realize i am slightly addicted and rely on it a lot. i guess my main point is: i just feel like lots of things in life are inevitable and i cant truly fix whats going on, even though ive tried. a lot of the time i cry because i know that tomorrow is going to be just like today. im sick of living in this simulation and just want to be happy. lately, ive been losing hope and dont know if i can do it anymore. there are many reasons i dont want to die, but many more reasons i do. i dont even want to kill myself, i just want this period to end. I dont think my life is awful, in fact, i have a really nice life for the most part. i just cant escape the thoughts, and i dont want my "mental health problems" to define me. i want a future. i want to live in a nice house with a nice husband and beautiful kids, but i just know its not going to work. i just have no idea what to do from here.
i dont expect anyone to read this and honestly just came on here to say something. ive come on here to read things and honestly it looks like a lot of people are in the same position as me, a surprising amount.
maybe i just need to wait for summer

I am 55 my wife 37. I have two boys. My eldest passed away when he was 16. My youngest son is 30. I have a 3 year old grandson. My wife has a 10 year old son. My wife was a widow having lost her husband when my step son was a baby so she has had a rough time along with my step son obviously.
Both my wife and step son have adhd. They were diagnosed after I insisted they seek treatment as their behaviour is very challenging.
I have put a lot of effort into helping them having been financially responsible for them both. My wife does not help me pay the bills despite my request that she does. I have coached my step sons soccer team, take him places, pay for his education etc etc. I have tried my hardest to build a relationship with him.
I have currently taken long service leave and I am responsible for the school runs so my wife can work. My step son can be difficult in the mornings because of his ADHD. It can be hard motivating him.
I have worked out a system that if he gets up and gets ready for school, eats his breakfast etc etc he can have 10 to 15 minutes of play station.
This is a system that has worked very well with little difficulty. I have sat and watched my wife get him ready and it is chaos. It is frustrating to watch. I have worked out what works and what doesn’t.
My wife one morning without my knowledge or any discussion with me decided that she didn’t want him playing the game in the morning as it damages his brain. Mind you I only give him max 15 minutes on it. I discussed it with her and explained my routine with him and how he is rewarded for good behaviour and this system works best. She apologised and agreed with me.
The next morning she did the exact same thing followed by more discussion and she did it again a third day in a row. I had a heated discussion with her and told her if she doesn’t like my parenting she can either get a baby sitter or take him to school herself I am not here to be her bitch. She apologised and I thought it was over and settled. She did it again and this time I let fly and told her she is interfering in my relationship with my step son and she is undermining me. Again if you don’t like my parenting do it yourself. Her only answer was that I must have found someone else. Even writing this I am getting a headache.
When she said this I walked into my room to calm down and of course she followed me. I kept telling her to leave me alone until I calm down. Anyhow she thinks she is the victim. She told me playing the play station will damage his brain I said undermining me and allowing him to be disrespectful without any recourse will damage his brain.
Mind you her brother 44 years old lets him stay up all night playing it and that is ok.
She has done this sort of things numerous times and it does my head in. I have told her if a man comes along and is willing to treat your son like his own child you do not show disrespect you should be grateful.
I was a single father and raised my boys only to lose my eldest. I am no stranger to grief or parenting.
I have told her I am not interested if she is going to continue to disrespect and undermine me. She can do it herself. I am over it.
The sad part is my step son will lose a father for a second time and my wife is blind to it.

My sister and I had a mean babysitter when we were kids. She'd do shitty but not obviously abusive things to us all the time. For example, she once encouraged us to go for a long walk to a nearby store for her and then told our mom we'd run away. Another time, she got my sister a fantastic birthday present, left it on the kitchen table where my sister and I were bound to see it whether we wanted to or not, and then returned it because my sister was "naughty" for "looking."
One time, she took us out to eat at Cracker Barrel with a group of her friends, telling us we could each get one meal and one dessert. I ordered a meal, ate about 1/3 of it, and asked for dessert. My sister was only able to get down about 1/4 of her meal when accounting for the fact that she wanted to leave room for dessert.
Patty (the babysitter) smirked and said she guessed we wouldn't be able to have dessert since we hadn't finished our dinners like good girls. My sister looked miserable, but I had a secret weapon Patty didn't know about.
I've always been able to vomit on command. I can do it just because I want to, no finger down the throat required. I don't even remember how I discovered this fact, but I'd used it a few times to get out of school when bullies were targeting me.
So I asked Patty if she promised I could get dessert if I finished eating my dinner. She confirmed I would.
I finished my dinner, which was way too large for a 10yo, and promptly threw it all up right there at the table. Then I started crying and saying how I was so sorry but the meal was just way too big for my little stomach... before cheering up a bit (so bravely!) and saying, "At least now I have room for dessert, so it's not so bad."
Patty didn't want to get it for me, but her friends pressured her to do so since she'd promised and I'd been a good girl and tried my best to eat my dinner. As you can imagine, Cracker Barrel employees didn't really want to be the ones to give a pukey kid dessert, so Patty's friends said we should all go to an ice cream place nearby.
I ordered my ice cream and then ordered an ice cream for my sister before staring at Patty to see if she'd argue. She did not. Over all, I found my petty revenge very satisfying. Patty never tried to get us to keep eating when we didn't want to again.

A year ago, I made this post recapping my first-year admissions cycle. I ended up going to my safety state school, and was absolutely crushed by the rejections I received and the fact that I wasn't going to end up at the type of school I had previously envisioned for myself. Fast forward to half a year-ish later, I decided to shoot my shot at transferring - and here are my results!
Demographics

• Gender: Female
• Race/Ethnicity: Asian
• Residence: West
• Income Bracket: Upper middle class
• Hooks (Recruited Athlete, URM, First-Gen, Geographic, Legacy, etc.): None
• Type of school: State school (not very highly ranked, but not on the bottom end either)

Intended Major(s): UChicago - Biology & History, Social Studies, and Philosophy of Medicine, Duke - Biology, Cornell - Biology & Science and Technology Studies, Brown - Biology & Science, Technology, and Society, UPenn - Biology & Science and Technology Studies
Academics

• GPA (UW/W): HS GPA - 3.9/4.8 // College GPA - 4.0

Extracurriculars/Activities
Included most HS ECs from previous post and the following college ECs:

• Social media editor and writer for student newspaper
• Research assistant for a lab on campus
• Member of college book club
• Participated in medical volunteering/outreach club, aiding homeless populations in community

Awards/Honors
Included most HS awards from previous post and Dean's list from college.
Letters of Recommendation
Got rec letters from 2 professors I had in my first semester of college. I only had them for one semester, so I imagine it wouldn't be the strongest letter they've ever written - but I made a genuine effort to connect with these profs outside of class!
Essays
In contrast to the way I approached my first-year applications, I actually did not have anyone look over my supplemental essays. I did have my profs, parents, and a graduate student writing tutor look over my "why transfer" essay (which is the equivalent of the common app essay for transfer admissions) - but mostly for grammar and clarity, and not for changing the content.
Interviews
I was not offered any transfer interviews!
Decisions (indicate ED/EA/REA/SCEA/RD)

• Duke -> Rejected
• UChicago -> Accepted!
• Cornell -> Accepted! (Non transfer option)
• Brown -> Accepted!
• UPenn -> Rejected

Reflection/Additional thoughts:
For current seniors who may not have had the best college admissions cycle, I hope my experience shows that your life does not end with college rejections! Ironically, I might not end up leaving my state school. Since applying to transfer, I've really fallen in love with the school and have found so many enriching educational and professional opportunities. If your cycle didn't go the way you wanted, there's always to transfer elsewhere or succeed wherever you end up!

So, like many of us in this Reddit space are here to share stories from a time when we were naïve and probably convinced we were with our soulmate. at the timing of the end of this relationship, I was 23 (m) she was 22 (f). We really were only together for about a year and a half. However, there was some history between us that encouraged us to get together in the first place after our previous relationships. We knew each other for about five years at the time we got together. And we got together very fast after fairly lengthy relationships. The thing is, she had an apartment and her ex moved out. I kind of slowly started staying around a lot after he moved out and about 6-7 months into the relationship we moved in together into a new apartment and everything up to that point was so amazing.
I was very acclimated with her family. She wasn’t very much acclimated with mine actually. There was a dog in the middle that we had but it was technically her dog, but that dog does love me so much and I miss that dog so much now. Very skittish dog and the love was very apparent when I was around because I basically took a lot of responsibilities and taking care of the dog from the second I started being around. Now to the actual point of where this leads to…
So this year January, she broke up with me. It was very apparent, and there were writings on the wall that the spark was kind of gone and it was just hard to be around each other. Very ironic, but probably some type of psychological explanation because I swear I had so many opportunities to talk to new woman, but I valued loyalty more than anything to her and wanted to make things work no matter how hard. The next thing you know, she is noticeably, distant, asking for space and very hostile all the time. I kept telling her hey why do I just feel like your roommate and not your boyfriend anymore? you know I never had thought of anything suspicious from her side because I was convinced that she loves me. She’s basically had a crush on me you know since we were very young, as I said five years before we even got together she had a thing for me.
Now there were some crisis stages of living together where I am actively learning about God in my life and trying to place God as the pedestal for the way that I live my life, and those values differed. But at the end of the day, I accepted our differences and wanted to make it work, but it was very hard and I didn’t really see the sacrifices. She was willing to make for me. Now by no means was I perfect. I had a lot of flaws when it came to dealings with certain things and maybe not being reassuring in the ways that I was supposed to. However, my love for her was through the roof. She’s made me feel like nobody else ever has in my life and before her I was in a four-year relationship. So fast-forward, she breaks up with me on the same day that actually bought a new car (paid cash) which is something I thought she would be very excited for me about because my old car was a piece of junk and we usually took her car around. And I told her and she was absolutely expressionless.
As soon as that was the case, I was in a very dark state immediately. Prior to this there is a few days that I was really trying to get things rolling and some positive way between us and again it was just a matter where the spark was gone and she didn’t really want anything to do with me and it was making me so sad and frustrated. After I came home telling her that I bought a new car and she didn’t respond I start questioning her on a whole Lotta things and eventually she spills out that she no longer has feelings for me and says we’re broken up. Immediately, I’m in shambles. I think it was a Tuesday and the next day was a Wednesday where we normally spent all of our time together. I’m crying all night. I sleep in a separate room and see you was just quiet. The next Wednesday she goes out doesn’t really say anything and this is what was the hardest part. The person that I loved more than anyone in the world basically just stopped telling me anything and sharing anything with me.
She leaves the next morning. I tried to pull information out of her for her to tell me she was going apartment touring. That broke me as well. There was about 10 weeks left on the lease. I couldn’t even begin to think about that. However, I have to plead with her to keep her location on because I’m concerned about her and I still admittedly loved her, and all I wanted to do was reconcile and try to find a place of comfort. And her location she turned it off and turned it on and then it was like kind of weird on my phone, but eventually, I was basically stalking her because I was that insecure. She goes to one place and then another place and she’s gone all day and doesn’t tell me a thing. There is a place that she went to that confused me but I guess I excused it because she said she was apartment touring but it didn’t really make a lot of sense. This one place later on becomes an an answer to me. I talked to my family and friends and they basically accused her of cheating and I wasn’t having it because I couldn’t handle any more pain honestly.
Fast forward, though for the next two months basically we still live together and she was still being very secretive and I’m still hurting more and more. It was a very traumatic experience to just watch this girl I love change and be so different around me and I couldn’t feel any different way. It was really affecting me on a daily basis every single day and night. And that’s because I was admittedly, too emotionally dependent on her. it became very apparent that she was basically seeing someone else and wouldn’t fess up to it so quickly however this person wasn’t a boyfriend according to her because she wanted to be single. But she’s not coming back overnight, so I’m like where are you sleeping? She says don’t worry about it. I’m doing everything around the apartment. I’m taking care of the dog that it’s technically hers that I love a lot yes but you know. Sometimes she would come back and we would still often sleep in the same bed because I couldn’t sleep on the couch because that would just be very physically uncomfortable for me.
She was doing this and again I just had to live with it mind you she’s also told me some things like hey I believe in the right person wrong time idea and I still love you . It only gave me hope but it also put me through so much more pain as well. So just from a matter of how fast she was moving on to seeing another guy I feel like that should’ve been a key indicator, but I kept asking her if she cheated on me. She never said she did. I tried my absolute best to believe her every time. She also got approved for an apartment and had a roommate with some person who I didn’t really trust in the past, but I see now that that person is not significant in why the relationship broke. However, something that I have yet to mention is that she never really told a single person about our break up not family or friends. I wouldn’t have survived if I can tell no one because I was just going through it. You know I think this traumatic phase in my life and it’s making me realize that I think I have ADHD too.
Anyways, she was basically slowly moving out while I had my attempts to move out to a new place that kind of failed. I moved back in with my parents because of the roommate dependency of other people wasn’t working too well. Mind, you still pretty much through our time continuing to live together while I am deeply scarred and depressed. I am still actively trying to reconcile the relationship in someway. I was basically reflecting on everything that I did wrong and trying to better it while I was still living with her. That and I was just doing so many nice things like making all her meals and doing so many nice things for the dog buying things here and there. I was acting as a complete Simp believe me I hated it, but I missed her. At the same time I did not hate it though because I genuinely like doing things for other people and she was my outlet for that often.
Nonetheless, towards the end of the time before she moved out officially this is a part where I found out she cheated on me. There was about two weeks left on the lease or so. Quick note because I forgot to mention that we stopped having sex probably for a good amount of time and a red flag that I couldn’t overlook is the fact that she said she needed sex where I didn’t feel as I always desired it because it should be sacred. This could’ve very well been the nail in the coffin for her. Even though so many other things were good in my opinion she and I did not share the same values..
So we both wake up, she has an appointment to be at in the morning. I make food in the morning and I offered some. She takes a shower and gets changed in the bedroom. She left her phone in the bathroom unlocked and I looked through with major hesitation. Text showed nothing but then I showed that flo app (where women track their period and when they have sex)… my heart caught on fire. To see the amount of times she was having sex and also before we broke up, hurt me so bad but not as bad as I thought it would at the same time. I couldn’t look much further honestly, but I got my answer and I had to research to make sure I was looking at that correctly. I then questioned her, she would not admit and basically decided to move out that night, officially which put me in a pretty tough spot because she took the Internet.
I’m a big person on faith I’ve kept in touch with her somewhat and I’m doing my absolute best to forgive her. But I definitely cannot forget. What’s weird is that after we officially moved out the apartment and everything together she started sharing her location with me on Snapchat. Mind you I have a suspicion of who she was cheating on me with because I was investigating you know. I’m definitely more handsome and charismatic. I now notice her go to the same place she went to the day after we broke up pretty often. It’s not where she lives. It’s pretty close to her work. Do the math. I have tried to talk to her a few times about this topic and she certainly gets uncomfortable every time it is brought up. I just wanted it told from her for my closure, but I guess I don’t need it.
But yeah, that experience, especially living together after the break up was not fun and I don’t recommend it for anyone. I wouldn’t put my worst enemy through that. The lesson that i learned is that it can take two to build something great but only one to destroy it. Therefore, build something great on your own. Someone will be waiting there when you’re done.

Fair warning this might be long.
TL:DR debating writing a letter to ex/current situationship (18 years) complicated past, Ive changed alot got sober did work on myself, they are now in a space dealing with some addiction and going to therapy.
I know letter writing comes up a lot and i want to share details but make it unidentifiable if possible. If you have more specific questions let me know. Met guy ( we will call him A) when i was 19/20 he (21/22) terrfied me he was sweet attentive romantic kind not like any of the men in my life. I freaked out b/c i didnt know what to do with that I didnt know how to date. Up until that point men always wanted me for tna secret fun etc. He showed up at my work with a rose and a teddy bear, tried to take me on dates, but it was easier for me kus to get naked to be honest. I did feel really safe with him and the connection was undeniable the second the other person showed up in a room we were in our own world and usually would just leave. After the flowers and the failed on my part attempt at a date i basically ran. His brother (older)swooped in and tried to date me. New years came his brother didint invite me out, i was at a different party A msged me we ended up spening the next 24 hours together but i knew he didnt trust me. I got him a birthday gift and dropped it at his house but im not even sure he got it i was too afraid to ask. I ended up waiting a few months then dated his brother for a little under a year, his brother was everythibg inwas used to in a man unattentive, didnt consider me in anything etc. We broke up and me and A started seeing each other almost every weekend again. This situationship kept up for a good 10-12 years. There were times we would both be drunk and emotional and apologies were always being given i love yous were said but the wall was still up and inwas still afraid. I finally got sober and we still kept hooking up he got his dream job i got mine. Time spent together shifted because we were in our 30s and had careers, but he always saw me on big events or after he had been with his family. He has some trauma from a parent leaving when he was a young adult, and then i basically went and did the same thing. In my own personal healing journey and schooling and the wisdom that comes with age im aware of the shit i did and the accountability i need to take. His career is intense and my background is helping people in similar professions so i noticed when his behaviour shifted, and didnt say anythibg for awhile but recently did and he admitted to it and said he was getting some help. One common thing i hear alot in my job is how people always wonder what the other person thought, or would blame themselves for and see themselves as falling short without realizing the impact young relationships can have. Inwas never vulnerable when we were together, and I want him to know the stuff i never said or told, having been in the addiction phase myself i do want to share that with him. I dont expect a response from him, if i got one thats great but i can live without it. Im not expecting it to magically fix him because i am just one piece of the puzzle. I just think he deserves to know the version of my story because in it hes always been the one true constant safe thing.
How would you react to getting that? Would you welcome it wpuld you hate it? Its 18 years of stuff its gonna be more a short story or a novel than a letter. Thoughts.?

I always thought I had a semi- OK relationship with my mother in law. We had some issues years back in the first years of my husband and I's relationship. She didn't like me correcting her parenting advice or old wives tale medicinal beliefs- like going out in the cold causing a cold, or asking antibiotics for viral infections, ext. Also we had to take a step back due to her not following the potty training protocols put in place for our daughter and my MIL complaining of accidents due to her not following the potty training routines. I had believed us to be past this. She often makes jokes at my expense or jabs at my parenting choices disguised as bad jokes. She also gives me lots of dirty looks and makes a big stink if I spend any time with the kids and my side of the family. She also ignores me and lets me talk to her with no eye contact or acknowledgment from her whatsoever. She just lets me talk and pretends she doesn't hear me when I am right next to her speaking clearly just feet away. She even began talking to someone else right in the middle of my sentence. Yet another petty thing- she won't ever compliment my cooking, or my parenting. I am a former chef and love to cook and bake. I make my own sourdough bread, all my kids meals from scratch, and love to nourish and show people love with food. She won't ever tell me she enjoys my cooking- though I have heard through the grapevine some of my dishes are the best she's had…. She also has never once said I am a good mom- and I take my parenting very seriously. I homeschool my kids and raise them in a very “old school” way- playing outside, no tablets and low TV time, very Montessori style… my kids are some of the best behaved I have seen and yet she seems to try to take care of it… when my kids are complemented at a restaurant for example- my MIL will say, “that's because Grammy’s here”…. I think I have painted a decent picture of how things have been.

 Through all of this, I have bitten my tongue and taken things in stride. Taking her insults disguised as jokes as just that- bad jokes. I walk on eggshells so as to not make her look bad or show her up on anything, and try to make he feel good by complimenting her outfits, food, ext…. After this last Mother’s Day, I will no longer be doing that and we will be taking a step back. The day began with her arriving to the Grandparents cabin 2 hours late, giving hugs all around… when her daughter wishes her a Happy Mother's Day she says “some day Ill be saying that to you…” then when I got up to hug her (holding my 2-month-old) and wish her a Happy Mothers Day she curtly says “thanks” and looks me up and down with a death glare. Then later when we were all dishing up for lunch she made a comment about how he should be making her a plate and not mine… to which I said “Hey I’m a mom, too… I’m in the trenches”- for context, I have 4 kids 5 years old and under one very fresh- only 2 months postpartum for me. She then says “Well, I made it to the other side…” “ I said “Absolutely you have done well, someday I’ll get the other side” to which she said “I don't know we’re taking bets over here. Don't think you'll make it”. She said this half-jokingly, half not- in a cruel and mean way… as if to punish me for taking her son away. The rest of the day she was very rude. Did all of the usual things plus more side eyes and death glares. My husband plans to speak with her but I can't help but think I am being THAT daughter in law… how can I draw a boundary in a way that she can't use against mer? My husband is going to draw a boundary but I really want to tell her personally how much she has hurt my feelings, and stand up for myself. Is this a bad idea? Any feedback is greatly appreciated. 

Hi y’all I’m from the Canadian Prairies so ofc I gotta say y’all and live hockey. Just looking for buddies in Canada and preferably people close by
I’m 25F from good old ‘Berta. I’m not looking for anything other than friendship and SFW chats. Please be talkative and chill!
I try to respond fast but life gets busy
I like hockey, tv shows, cartoons, seeing, crocheting, thrifting, board games, painting, escape rooms, cafes, writing, and so much more
I like to move around and exercise but I’m not fit and not a fan of the outdoors haha
I’m Canadian but ethnically Middle Eastern. I’m very left politically and hate bigotry and discrimination of any form. I’m spiritual/religious but that’s a personal choice, you do you boo :)
I don’t drink, smoke (socially but like once a year), and drugs
I love golden retriever energy and just wholesome people
Message me and lmk your age, gender, and where you are from in Canada! A bit about you would be appreciated too

My husband and I are on day 45 of 75 hard. My highest weight was around 238 lbs in November, 2023. I am now around 210, so Ive lost almost 30 lbs since November and 14 lbs since April 1 alone (start of 75 hard)!! A big milestone that I've reached is that I can feel my butt jiggle a little when I walk. Here is a little more detail. Since I've been in middle school, I've had completely no butt. In fact, in middle and high school, I was made fun of for having an "inverted butt". It stunk. Today after my workout, I went to walmart and that is when I noticed that I could feel my butt jiggling a little. I went back and looked at a picture and I have a (small) butt now guys! This is a win for me and motivation to keep going, even after 75 hard!

In Season 3 episode 9, Callie stalks into the locker room, says verbatim that she's going to kick Meredith's ass, and advances towards her until Izzie physically gets in between them because Callie thought Meredith told George about Callie sleeping with Mark. If Callie shows certain tendencies of violence or a willingness to fight them, you can't really blame Izzie a season later for thinking Callie was going to do the same thing to her when Callie confrontationally told Izzie to meet her in the cafeteria later that day.

I’d love to hear from students who opted out of all NYC standardized testing between 3rd and 8th grade. Did this impact your HS application / preparation / selection process at all? Are there any tests you would recommend NOT opting out of for whatever reason? I’m thinking ahead to elementary and middle school choices and there are a few that are “opt out” (unranked) schools, so I’m wondering where most of those students end up for HS. TIA!

• All stories are FAKE this story is FAKE* *story may be long *

Like the title said, I don't think I have to explain myself. In December, some new people moved in, a single widower man and his oblivious daughter moved in.
The little girl was lovely but forgot about her mum and was oblivious to her death, the man was done with grief but a little hung on.
As you can imagine, by January 2023, they were happy. As a neighbour I greeted them and made friends, whilst the father, Karl worked I babysit the girl, April!
Me and Karl were 32 and April was 7! We got along well me and April, we girl gossiped, painted, and played video games ( my little pony games and peppa pig)
When April started going to school again, Karl started to invite me over and it got to one point when we had a couple of "moments"
And couple weeks later, we got married, April the flowergirl with a couple of family friends.
Now since you know their story, here is mine.. I was abounded at 1 day old, my mum was 36 and a druggie and so was my dad or so I was told. I lived in a orphanage and never got chosen as I always hid.
I've never had anyone to love not even any friends and he was my first. So as you can imgaine this was wonderful. Especially feeling Karl's sweet liquid inside of me...
One night, I was drunk but drunk enough to still be in control, I came home from work, spraying perfume to hide the alcohol scent.
I was horny, so was Karl and April was asleep in the basement hiding from the shadows in her room.
Me and Karl had sex. I don't know what made me think of this, me in general or the drinks I've had.I wanted to eat Karl...Not his...yk...I wanted his flesh but I told him and next minute I was gagging on him...
We kept knives in our room to scrap wood from the wooden desk when it got spikey, so pretending to bend over so my hands were close to the desk where they were, he funked me
I reached for em and slashed hin open, devouring his blood, admiring it all... I think the screams alerted April, as her small tippy feet in slipper made tiny tapping nosies.
"Dad, mum?"
I loved her to so I edged her closer covering Karl.
I covered her mouth so I could only hear the muffled crying and whimpers as I sliced her stomach open.
I'm still hungry, I've ate them to the bone, and I'm not throwing them up as I purely liked it...im typing this thinking...I ate my neighbour and his daughter

My whole life i was fan of american culture, my mom pushed me and i had english courses since 6 y.o., i always watched those movies, series, cartoons where everything is so athmospheric and cool, not even only from US just any movie where original language is english, like from UK or Canada lol. And the first thing i thought when i started learning everything about culture of US or UK, Canada, english speaking countries, i was surprised how open people are there, how open to new stuff, how simple they are, how they having best time of their life every day.
Average American school looks 10 times better than mine
Average american parent is 10 times better than mine, at least most of parents are not divorced, mine were when i was just born.
Average american life is where 3000 dollars a month is poor, not 300 dollars, 3000.
Most popular actors,singers, even writers are in US
Richest,smartest people in the world live in US and became who they are in US
And here i am, was born in country which is just better than some Pakistan, and close to it because how people talk,think and live here.
My mother who always said i need english recently admitted that it wasn't for US, or moving in any different country. Then why the fuck i spent my whole life admiring this culture which she wasn't even planning to sent me in.
We participate in Diversity Visa loterry only for five years, but I'm freaking 17 now. Why, just why my parents didn't start earlier? They are not dumb. And I'm still here, i can't live here, people are so toxic, angry and stupid, not progressive at all. I just cant talk to them or be near them.
This year my mental health went completely crazy,i think i just got mature, i started looking at the window every ten minutes thinking "well it won't get any better anyway" then i remember "oh wait, I'm atheist, if i die i will end and stop existing like a fucking robot, and I'm only 17", but it doesn't help at all. 3 month and again to school, to those awful people.....to those awful classrooms
I can't study normally and move to US because got in some University, i can't study because my flat is complete mess, my parent won't clean it because says "there are lots of things, we can't just throw them away", every room is a mess, everything is so complicated you can't focus and think normally.
I have diagnosed depression, ADHD, and never told anyone, but yes, definitely main hero syndrome. My life is so fucked up that when I'm in school i think and imagine how cool i am , how rich i am, how everybody knows about me, listening to music. So insane and in so much denial, that can't study because of thinking how cool i am in my brain,because if i will stop and take a look in a mirror i will just scream and hurt everyone in the classroom because they just exist that way. I'm daydreaming every hour,minute,second and i can't stop, it's a habit.
And wow, this year, i thought it would be life changing, because i knew i couldn't bare one more year here at all, and thought "well, okay universe, come on ,all i need is just little luck, please, a little luck" if my family would win diversity visa we would sell our car, and flat my mom got from her mom who died two years ago(yes,thats sad), it would be more than 70k. I would start in new school, knowing culture and english, knowing where to find work, i would be happy as fuck working as some walmart cashier after school so i could buy nintendo, go to Shake Shack and drink starbucks on way home, watch american television to see those funny creative ads.( Of course my mom and my sister would be A LOT HAPPIER there and i would make sure of it).Watch US elections knowing it won't be worst country in the world in any circumstances. And of course would get in the best university possible, studying every day and going to cinema with friends on weekend.
already two of my mom's friends won, and they didn't even need it, "of course we have to win, it won't be fair any other way, it just can't be false, we deserve it more than average winner who was rich and had nice life here anyway,it just can't be this way, it won't be, of course it won't be, why would it, if anyone rules the world up there in space it should understand how much we want it, come on,we can't loose, it just won't be fair" My mom teaching other people english for two years now,whole flat is a mess because all around in any room there are tons of books about English.
We lost, we didn't win, and we definitely won't If we even will in future,i know i don't need it, we needed to win right now, this year Or i will be completely insane I just want to fall asleep and never wake up, living my perfect life in my perfect dreams in a perfect world with perfect family, perfect people and perfect perfection. I tried lucid dreaming but it's not working the way i wanted it to.
I don't know what to do I know i won't go to school after summer I won't because it's my choice, not any other creature choice, just mine And i won't, i will just stay in my room and die from starving. I don't care about my mom because i know it's not my fucking fault that life was unfair, not for me, for whole family. at least she will have more money for her, and less people to worry about