Is he long-term injured in a manner which affects only his hitting, not his fielding or running? This is certainly a possibility. I have to believe this is it more than anything when I think about how an established player just loses his game virtually overnight, but can still field and run like he always has. He has spoken about dealing with a nagging core injury for the past two seasons, I suspect whatever he's dealing with only affects his game when batting and it has sapped his ability to swing like he once did, and it has gotten progressively worse and worse.
I now firmly believe this is the most logical case. And I firmly believe he will never recover from it and his MLB career is quickly coming to a close. I think the Tigers will DFA him within a month and no other team will want him, and that will be it for him.

Hello,
I am feeling a little lost and distrusting. I don't know if my therapist is stable and ibe just spent a year opening up to the wrong person. I am someone that heavily relies on logic and science, and it's very important to me that I see my therapist as a reliable, centred human being that I can trusts counsel and process.
I have had 2 therapists: 1. my first: was via a specific charity for survivors of male sexual abuse (one of my experiences as a hetro sexual male). She went AWOL on me from nowhere after I opened up a lot about my life. She was cheap as it was via a charity. I will elaborate on my personal situation below, but as I learn more about myself, I understand how horrendous this is to do to a patient. I have a very small circle and almost no family. Luckily, I'm pretty resilient.

1. My second (current): because of above experience and inability to find therapists prepared to do 'in person' at the time; I picked the most expensive therapist I could find, hoping it meant they were the most credible and qualified (I also live in Central London).

My experience with my 2nd therapist is what I really want to explore.
Firstly, I should acknowledge and state I am a judgemental person - though I've got better through therapy. She has tattoos over her arms and hands and I immediately judged this. Is this person a 'stable person'; is she someone reliable, well balanced etc.
Over time, I have built a very strong relationship with her. She 100% cares about me. I trust her. She is strong and pushes back, makes me question things, holds me to account. But most of all - she cares about me. She will occasionally cry during sessions when I bring up memories and it feels like I have someone who cares about me.
I have had some concerns. For example, I have (very embarrassing) addiction to porn and I explain I think this is very bad for you and the mind, and she does not think porn is an issue - it's a great experimental tool, at least if I've understood her correctly.
Major concern: - she is occasionally flaky with appointments. She will cancel (with very short notice) and apologise - normally 'I've woken up sick'. Last week, I turned up for an appointment and she said 'I'm away - I did tell you last week'. (I don't remember this but it COULD have happened). She then rescheduled this weeks session. Just before today's session, at 5am (I wake at 3am most days!) she messaged me the following incomprehensible text. It's like she's on drugs or drunk?!
Her - 5am: (link requesting my live location). Text reading: flights destined
Me - 5:03am: sorry, flight is delayed?
Her - 5:07: due to you x red family death
Me - 5:09: sorry, I'm not following.
Me - 5:38: I'm assuming I'm not to come to therapy today?
I am now hugely concerned I am in the counsel and advice of the wrong person, I have invested 100 hours of time, work and trust, thousands of £.
I would really appreciate peoples thoughts.
Some context about me: I am a 30yr old male. I have a myriad of 'trauma' but am mentally okay, more so challenged in life through the effects of my trauma and the behaviours.

• grow up in an abusive home with mum and dad (separated). Mum not available much (but very loving), worked all hours. Dad was chronic alcoholic, typical abusive parent.
• both parents died in traumatic circumstances.
• was a victim of sexual abuse (rape) by a male in my early 20s. Was drugged in South America.

I am successful (societal belief): run a multi million £, highly profitable co that I founded, with 30 employees. I am rich and financially fortunate. My upbringing built me for resilience. I left school at 16, was a degenerate gambler.
I have been explored for CPTSD, but I almost certainly don't have it. I have learned through therapy my primary issues are: - extremely damaged and detached inner child. - low self esteem. - complete numbness of my emotions from very early - loneliness - comfort and seeking of toxic relationships - never feeling like I am enough. I'm perceived to be the most giving, kind person but the reality is I'm seeking affirmation from others to feel better about myself - I just survive everyday fine, but I am worried I will die having not lived.

Throwaway account obviously. Hi, I (30M) have moved in the Netherlands and live together with my wife (30F) since 3 years now. The Netherlands has (generally) two types of housing: flats and terraced (three-stories) houses with a garden on the backyard.
When we arrived here, we found a flat to rent. Things were going great, we were living closeby other people in the same bulding, in the city center, so close to shops, etc.
One night, however, a stranger (probably drunk) ringed our bell at 2am. Obviously we didn't open the door, however we got scared since doors here don't have a peephole, so either you open the door or cannot see what's going on outside.
After that event we decided to buy a Ring doorbell, to ensure people would ring that and we could see who it was. My wife insisted we also buy the ring alarm system, so motion sensor, camera and door contact sensor. I protested, but she insisted it was making her feel safer to know she could always check on the house, or if we were sleeping that we could rapidly wake up thanks to the alarm going off because of some intruders/burglars, you name it.
After a while we moved in a bigger place, a terraced house, but unfortunately we found it in a small village, so now we don't live closeby the city center, and also the number of people living closeby is drastically reduced. Furthermore, this house is well insulated, so (almost) every noise that happens inside the house, if all windows are closed, hardly reaches our neighbors.
This pushed my wife to make us invest again in Ring equipment, buying motion and contact sensors for every room of the house with a window to the outside (easily reachable from the street). I thought it made sense to at least have a contact sensor, so if a window was opened, the entire alarm system could go off. Also burglars are a plausible scenario for terraced houses in this country, so I also wanted some protection.
However, I think that this (and the alarm system in general) was a mistake, since now my wife is really anxious. When we lay down in bed, she has to listen to "noises" that happen in the house; when she (obliviously) gets anxious from this activity, she starts opening the Ring app and check the cameras livestream feed.
We are starting to have fights, since to me it's ok to have an alarm system, but it's not ok to be afraid of something that is not there, or to force yourself listening to possible noises that could indicate a person being inside your house.
Often times I try to tackle her with logic, saying" if a person were to enter our house, the alarm would go off and we would know it, so that we could call the police", but she gets mad at me saying that she wants comfort, not logical solutions.
This has degraded two aspects of my life: social life and sleep. For the social life, I am now unable to leave my wife alone at home, because she gets anxious of "having to deal with possible break ins". This has prevented me to go back to my hometown because it's a "we go together or you don't go" situation, or also attending work dinners. For the friends part nothing has really changed, since moving here together has made us hang out with the same people. For the sleep, when she is scared in bed, or think something is happening, e.g. hears a noise, she wakes me up, and it's always a false alarm, so this makes me mad at her, and makes me sleep very badly in general (I'm also writing this post at 6AM with my alarm set at 8AM).
I really don't know how to tackle this situation, and I am afraid we entered a bad loop where security is and will never be enough, so we need buying more alarm stuff and being more paranoid about our surroundings.

I wanted to write this as an extended discussion for a similar post about misogyny against Emily and a comment on another similar post.
I want to take a different approach when trying to explain misogyny in this show. We all know that a traditional heteronormative household is supposedly set up in a way where there is a single income provided for by the husband, and the wife runs everything else. The fairness of this setup is always argued, but that is irrelevant because that was not how the Gilmore Household functioned. Here's why. Richard's job was NOT essential for their life. Richard's work was no more significant than Emily's social engagement, which he always ridiculed her for. In fact, Richard's career was built on Emily's efforts to keep them socially connected. Despite this, Richard took major financial risks without consulting Emily—his business venture, where he put up his pension as collateral. Richard's main goal in life was to feel important. He wanted to wear a suit, sit at a desk, and have a conversation. Emily, on the other hand, wanted more social recognition among her circles. She wanted things, petty as they may be, like being served the first tea at the party. Those goals required active social engagement and contributions. Yet Richard finds that to be "meaningless" and not his own pretend work? Emily's efforts were useful. They sustained the Gilmore household's social standing, which in turn keeps Richard employed. It's just really sad to see how deeply entrenched patriarchal values are and how they devalue women's work when women's work is what maintains societal status and familial wealth in such households.
A lot of you will come at me for saying this about Richard and all about how he worked his way up to being executive vice president, etc but I personally do not think he would have made it up there without Emily's support. Richard can't even pick up his own suit from the dry cleaners. Who would promote someone who doesn't even know what to wear to work? Didn't Emily say something about Richard not even knowing how to get a haircut without her support? So don't come at me with that logic. :)

This is a long story and if you do read through it and can offer advice it would be greatly appreciated.
I can't find too much if anything similar to my experience. I'm wondering if anyone heard about this and any advice?
About 6 months ago I got a call on my phone from RBC on the call display. It was spoofed but I didn't know it. The person on the phone asked me if I used my debit card to purchase an iphone in Ontario. I said no, and he said it's not a problem these things happen all the time, they will cancel the purchase and send me a new card.
This is not too out of the ordinary for me as I had my credit card have unauthorized purchases several times in the past. The weird thing was this time it was a debit card.
Then he said he can not ask my debit card number but a recording will follow and I should key in my debit card number. This was my major mistake. I know never to give a credit card number, PIN or password but for some reason I never thought of my debit card number to be a major issue. Like what if I lost it?
Anyway after I did that he came back and I asked him to mail the new one to my bank. He said no he would mail it to my home and told me my very old address. I told him no, it's unacceptable mail it to my bank branch like always. He then hung up on me. I didn't give any other info.
Minutes later I got an email from RBC saying my password has been changed! Then another saying my email has been changed. I quickly tried to login and couldn't so I called RBC Security.
As I was talking my email inbox got 1000's of email newsletter sign up confirmations per hour. About 12 000 in total by the next morning. It's a business email so it ruined everything and I couldn't find legit emails but that's besides the point.
The goal of doing that is because it was their hopes I would not see the emails from RBC.....but lucky they came first. it's called a Spam Bomb.
RBC Security said they would help me change my password back and I was able to reset it. Only minutes later while still on the phone....I had logged out and then tried to log back in....And he said this is strange. he put me on hold. He said there was someone on another call with the call centre claiming to be me and getting the password changed! He somehow was passing all the authentication and fooling the agent into changing the password.
So he put a block on the account meaning nobody can call in. Not even me. No passwords or access codes, nothing. The only way I could deal with RBC is going into the branch.
No money went missing. I guess I caught it just in time. Nothing was changed in my accounts. But I still cancelled all my credit cards and got new ones. And I got new account numbers for my bank accounts.
As I had to do this at the branch it took several visits and anytime I needed to ask a question Id have to go in person. I changed my phone number and even to do this in the back end systems beyond online banking I had to make an appointment. Fun fact RBC has to wait on hold forever also, no special access lines.
After changing my accounts I changed my phone number because they kept calling back. Changing your phone number nowadays is a major undertaking as I have 100's of websites many with 2 factor auth that I had to change. I also changed all my passwords unique without any matching.
After all this....I travelled to Japan. In fact I travel 6 months of the year to many countries. I decided to log into my online banking using a VPN. Big mistake. The system thought I was fraud and it locked me out. And I can't call! Luckily I have an account manager who knows me well and we could verify that way but most people don't have this.
Another time my debit cards weren't working anywhere in The Philippines and I couldn't call in. It was Christmas and my account manager wasn't available for 4 days. I had no cash. What a disaster.
So when I got home....I had to take this call block off. It's just not working. It had already been 2.5 months and my computer was factory reset, I purchased a new phone. I had really done everything I could.
I travelled to several countries and no problems, everything is working normal and perfect.
I take security very seriously to the point of paranoia. And I also know all the scams. I don't get fooled easily and used to have a hobby to mess with the scammers heads. But even this I don't do anymore because they probably put me on some sort of list or something.
Since then Ive been very private.
Then yesterday....I get an email saying my email has been changed. Lucky no spam bomb. I tried to log into RBC and it didn't say wrong password, it said account it locked.
I called RBC Security and they said I need to go into the branch with ID and they wouldn't talk to me.
I did so. They said someone called in and passed the verification. And convinced RBC to reset my password for them. This is infuriating because there are notes saying that I am a victim of account take over and to proceed with caution.
Again no money is missing but I need to change all my accounts and cards again. And I'm leaving to Africa in a few weeks.
I now have that call block on the system and can't release it otherwise the scammers will just call back and convince RBC to change my password again. What can I do about this?
I had the idea to change my debit card number. They will change the account numbers and credit card numbers but not the debit card number. Changing this number I think will solve all my problems. But no matter how far I escalated this. They won't do it. Not a chance. To me it seems the most logical way to start fresh as they are using that info to the agent.
So I opened a new account with another bank. I'll use this as a travel account and fund it with what I need. But with RBC I have many investment accounts, business accounts, several high end credit cards. You name it. And TD banks credit card for travel doesn't seem to match the power of RBC Avion which I accumulate tons of points with my business. Which is why I can travel so much! So in other words it's not easy to switch.
But anyway Does anyone know how they are passing the authentication so easy? Nobody knows my 3 secret phrases. Not even my wife. RBC usually have voice authentication, I guess that failed. Or they recorded me?
And also the hacker originally repeated my old address but I never gave a new one. When I do call RBC they usually ask my address and things about my account that I am likely only to know. It's so strange.
How can I get out of this mess?
Does anyone have any success having their physical debit card number changed? Any other advice?
I feel one day if this keeps happening I could be out money.
Would I be protected and refunded?
While I admit I did get fooled into giving my debit card number it wasn't my pin or password and they were the ones who tricked RBC over and over. And Ive taken all reasonable preacuations to secure my account since then.
However having this severely restricted account where I can't call in and since I travel 6 months per year as you can imagine I can't do this long term.
if you read this far thanks so much for reading, Any advice is appreciated!

Is infantilizing a part of emotional neglect/abuse? I really don't want to complain about my grandparents, they've been a lot better with me compared to my parents, but my grandma doesn't treat me like a 29 year old. There have been many instances, but for example a recent one was when I had a glass of wine at theirs and she felt the need to report this to my mom, saying how they "let me taste wine" and then proceeding to tell me a story of herself letting my mom try beer when she was a teen (which my mom was sure didn't even take place). I'm 29? Why does this need to be made into a number like this...?
One time she insisted to cut up an apple for me, because it had to be done with a knife. I was like 26-27 at the time. Like I said, there have been more situations like this. The rare times I get to treat myself and travel I can tell she gets extremely uncomfortable, and she used to start uncontrollably crying. I've lived abroad, alone, before the pandemic. And I turned out fine... It's not like I'm going off to war...
I'm not sure if this is normal grandparent behaviour, or what. But as much as I love them, it still irritates me a lot. I already feel a bit more "behind" than others my age because of other circumstances and then there's this. I need someone to treat me like an adult but also with kindness (my mom's logic: I'm an adult and don't need any support. Not this either, thanks). It's like my parents are on one extreme end of the spectrum and my grandparents on the other end.
Anyone else experienced this? Am I just overreacting to normal grandma behaviour?

This made me feel hindered with my relationship with God, but I kept faith in my belief that God was the only one who could relieve me of the situation I was in and I didn't seek outside help from the illuminati or others.
I denied all new information given. I prevented them from talking until they forced me to allow them. I blocked my thoughts and thinking until they forced themselves into talking again after 6 months of blocking them talking. I refused to talk to them until they forced me to talk. I gave up fighting them on that because it felt like my best option and I still do it.
When I saw the Mr. Beast video, I noticed there was a hole in my logic I never noticed or picked up on. This logic made me realize that God taught me a lot about BEING and Jesus is more about MORALITY.
In morality, you rely on the other person, GOD. But since I was focused on BEING, I thought about what I was taught about God 'being me, and began to believe that I needed to have faith in my actions being correct no matter what I do, and not take the faith/morality way, but the faith/being way.
Then I started talking to people and moving. Plus I figured out the "entities" whole game plan and realized they are handicapped and limited in what they do and talk about. Outside of this limitation, I don't know their agenda or their true thoughts.
Early this year, I started looking at attachments. And realized everything is an attachment including thoughts and emotions. We are attached to even going home every night when we could go literally anywhere. We get tired and go home, but we could sleep in the grass or anywhere. I planned to go to some random city and just be homeless just because. Just to explore no attachments, but only for a few weeks because I had obligations. It didn't have anything to do with faith/morality.
But I was trying things at my previous residence and they would block me because they already had an extreme feeling of boredom in place if I didn't play video games or be on my phone (which I did a lot of in order to stop them from talking or teaching). So I wasn't able to explore no attachments because I could just be. No matter how much I waited, the feeling didn't subside.
It was excruciating boredom that was artificially put in place. I couldn't truly be in the moment with this boredom. And I have always been content just sitting somewhere not doing anything. This was different for me. Even before the beginning, I could let go of whatever I was doing and meditate for an hour or so and be fine. That was impossible so I let it go a bit and explored it when I could. Then I forgot about it.
I'm not going to do it now because I am busy. When I'm not busy I will explore no attachments. Maybe I will just a bit though. A bit.

Preparing for the Indian Administrative Service (IAS) Mains exam is a journey filled with dedication, discipline, and strategic planning. One of the most crucial components of this journey is mastering the art of answer writing. Your ability to articulate your knowledge and insights effectively can make the difference between an average score and a top rank. Here, we will delve into some key strategies to enhance your answer writing skills, ensuring you stand out in this highly competitive exam.

Understanding the Demand of the Question

The first step in effective answer writing is understanding the exact demand of the question. This involves:

1. Analyzing Keywords: Pay close attention to directive words like 'discuss,' 'critically analyze,' 'elaborate,' and 'compare.' These words indicate the approach you should take in your answer.
2. Identifying Parts of the Question: Break down the question into its constituent parts to ensure you address every aspect.

Structuring Your Answer

A well-structured answer is easier for the examiner to read and understand. Follow these tips for a coherent structure:

1. Introduction: Start with a brief introduction that sets the context. This could be a definition, a relevant fact, or a brief background.
2. Body: Divide the body into clear, logical sections. Use subheadings if necessary to organize your thoughts. Ensure each paragraph deals with a single point or argument.
3. Conclusion: Conclude with a summary of your main points or a forward-looking statement. Keep it concise and impactful.

Incorporating Relevant Content

The content of your answer should reflect depth and breadth of knowledge:

1. Current Affairs: Integrate recent events and developments to show your awareness of the contemporary context.
2. Examples and Case Studies: Use relevant examples and case studies to substantiate your arguments.
3. Diagrams and Flowcharts: Visual aids like diagrams and flowcharts can make your answer more engaging and easier to understand.

Writing Style and Presentation

Your writing style and presentation can significantly impact the readability of your answers:

1. Clarity and Precision: Write clearly and concisely. Avoid unnecessary jargon and verbosity.
2. Handwriting: If you’re writing by hand, ensure your handwriting is legible. Good handwriting can make a positive impression on the examiner.
3. Use of Bullet Points: For lists and series of points, bullet points can enhance readability and make your answer look organized.

Time Management

Time management is crucial during the exam:

1. Practice Regularly: Regular practice with timed mock tests can help you gauge the appropriate length and depth of your answers.
2. Prioritize Questions: Start with the questions you are most comfortable with. This builds confidence and ensures you secure marks in areas of strength.
3. Stick to Word Limits: Adhering to the prescribed word limit is important. Overwriting can lead to incomplete answers towards the end of the paper.

Revision and Feedback

Continuous improvement is key:

1. Self-Review: After writing a practice answer, review it critically. Look for gaps in content, structure, and presentation.
2. Peer Review: Exchange answers with fellow aspirants to gain new perspectives and constructive feedback.
3. Mentorship: Seek guidance from experienced mentors who can provide professional insights and identify areas for improvement.

To truly excel in the IAS Mains exam, personalized guidance and structured preparation are essential. At PM IAS Academy in Coimbatore, we offer comprehensive coaching tailored to your needs. Our expert faculty, extensive resources, and focused mentoring can help you master the art of answer writing and achieve your IAS aspirations. Enroll today and take the first step towards a successful career in public service.
Visit our website PM IAS Academy or call us at 123-456-7890 to learn more and schedule your free consultation.
Mastering answer writing for the IAS Mains exam is a skill that can be honed with the right strategies and consistent practice. By following the tips outlined above and seeking expert guidance from PM IAS Academy, you can significantly enhance your chances of success. Happy studying!

I recently upgraded to an M3, but I've noticed that some plugins have been faulty. Soothe2, for instance, seems to be completely incompatible. In the plugin manager, it says "crashed validation" under soothe2, and rescanning the audio unit doesn't seem to do anything. I've tried disabling/reactivating my iLok license for soothe, deleting its component files and reinstalling them from the official oeksound website, restarting Logic and my Mac, etc. I have also tried to use the oeksound uninstaller from the official oeksound website, which made me install Rosetta, but that didn't seem to do anything as well.
Whenever I have the soothe2 component files installed, I am unable to open any projects that include instances of it; it just says that Logic has ran into an issue with a specific plugin, and that the program needs to quit.
I am using a 2023 MacBook Pro M3 running Sonoma 14.4.1 and Logic Pro 11.
Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Unveiling the Finest E-Wallet Casinos: Your Trusted Guide to Online Gaming

In the ever-evolving landscape of online casinos, the emergence of Ewallet Casino has revolutionized the way players engage with their favorite games. With the convenience and security offered by e-wallets, players can enjoy seamless transactions and immersive gaming experiences like never before. If you're ready to explore the world of e-wallet casinos, look no further. Welcome to our comprehensive guide to the top e-wallet casinos, where trust, reliability, and excitement converge.

What is Ewallet?

An e-wallet is a digital card for online transactions via computer or smartphone. It functions similarly to a credit or debit card and requires linkage to an individual's bank account for payments. In Malaysia, e-wallets have revolutionized the way people manage their finances and make transactions. With a plethora of options available, including GrabPay, Boost, and Touch 'n Go eWallet, Malaysians enjoy the convenience of digital payments like never before. These e-wallets offer seamless transactions through smartphones, eliminating the need for physical cash or cards. Whether it's shopping, dining, or commuting, e-wallets have become an integral part of everyday life in Malaysia, providing users with a secure and efficient way to pay. Embracing the digital revolution, Malaysians are embracing e-wallets as the future of financial transactions.

Why Choose Ewallet Casino?

E-wallets have swiftly become the preferred payment method for online transactions, and for good reason. Here's why e-wallet casinos stand out:

1. Convenience: Say goodbye to cumbersome banking processes. E-wallets streamline transactions, allowing players to deposit funds and withdraw winnings with ease, anytime and anywhere.
   
2. Security: With advanced encryption technology, e-wallets offer an extra layer of security, safeguarding players' financial information and ensuring peace of mind.
   
3. Speed: Forget about waiting days for withdrawals to process. E-wallet transactions are lightning-fast, providing instant access to your winnings whenever you need them.
   
4. Global Accessibility: Whether you're playing from the bustling streets of New York or the tranquil countryside of France, e-wallets offer universal accessibility, allowing players to enjoy their favorite games across borders.
   

Our Top Picks for E-Wallet Casinos

1. Ewallet Casino: Renowned for its user-friendly interface and lightning-fast transactions, Ewallet Casino is a top choice for players seeking a seamless gaming experience. With a diverse selection of games, generous bonuses, and reliable customer support, Ewallet Casino is a trusted destination for e-wallet enthusiasts.
   
2. Digital Fortune: Step into the future of online gambling with Digital Fortune. This innovative casino combines cutting-edge technology with a sleek design to deliver an unparalleled gaming experience. With seamless e-wallet integration and a vast array of games to choose from, Digital Fortune is the ultimate destination for tech-savvy players.
   
3. E-Wallet Palace: As its name suggests, E-Wallet Palace reigns supreme in the realm of e-wallet casinos. With a regal selection of games from leading providers and lightning-fast transactions, this esteemed establishment offers a royal gaming experience like no other. Trust, reliability, and excitement await you at E-Wallet Palace.
   

Conclusion

Ewallet Casino represent the future of online gaming, offering players a convenient, secure, and thrilling way to play. With our guide to the top e-wallet casinos, you can embark on an unforgettable gaming journey with confidence. Whether you're a seasoned pro or a newcomer to the world of online gambling, e-wallet casinos provide the perfect blend of convenience and excitement. Get ready to elevate your gaming experience to new heights with the finest e-wallet casinos at your fingertips.

Everyone always says things like, "Oh wow, remember Invader Zim? That was so disturbing!" And they seem to forget that that's not the entire show. It's less than 5% of it, I'd say. Sure, InvZ has a few disturbing moments, but I wouldn't say that that's the entirety of the show. Actually, I'd say that a lot of the show is just absurdist humor (Not that that's a bad thing, I like a lot of the jokes in InvZ :) )
[Most of] The jokes in the show are really funny imo! I [personally] don't understand why people call it 'disturbing.' It's an overgeneralization in my opinion. There was only about three somewhat disturbing parts in the whole show, and I personally thought that they weren't even that bad.
I think that one could say that Courage the Cowardly Dog and Ren and Stimpy were more disturbing than Invader Zim. (There was an episode of R&S where Ren went into a lot of detail about all the ways he wanted to physically harm Sven (the episode was called "Svën Hoëk" if I remember correctly), and both Stimpy and Sven were terrified. That part went on for, like, 3 and a half minutes or something like that iirc. And there was another time when Ren lost his teeth and pulled out the nerve endings with tweezers afterwards. I haven't seen either of those episodes in their entirety, (and personally, I'm not really interested in seeing those episodes), but I'm sure that there was probably a logical explanation for him to do that, right? /genq) From what I've noticed, it seems that everyone says that CtCD and R&S were "ahead of their time" and "ground-breaking," and [in my opinion], I'm starting to get a little sick of it. That's just what I think though
Edit; I wasn't sure how to spoiler that, but I figured it out now

I've experienced sleep paralysis quite a few times but what I experienced one day made me believe in paranormal stuff.
I was 12 when this happened. My family usually have open discussions on paranormal activities and don't try deny it. But I don't know if it was fear but I always denied saying science doesn't prove it.
Although I have experienced ton of hauntings, because the street I used to live on had 10+ suicide cases and 2 murder cases all within 2 years.
But SCIENCE I said.
I have made an habit of covering my face with blanket while sleeping and I can't explain how but my mom always senses it when I'm have sleep paralysis and she moves my body.
Now I wonder if it was my mom everytime.
As usual I woke up one morning, my face covered with blanket but I noticed I couldn't move my body. Sleep paralysis scares the shit out of me even though I've had it multiple times. I was sweating and it was getting extremely hard to breathe because of the blanket situation.
I really thought that was my last day.
A baby sized hand touched my forehead. It was warm. The sunlight from my window was falling on me so I could see the clear shadow of a tiny hand from inside the blanket.
It slowly moved away.
It broke the paralysis thankfully. I was searching everywhere for what it could have been. I thought maybe it was my younger brother but....he wasn't in my room. His hands are bigger than mine.
What really creeps me is that my mom or grandmother doesn't deny anything I tell them. They focus more on the solution to help me avoid stuff like this but never gave me a logical explanation.
My mom have experienced the worst things and I'll make more posts on her experiences and few of mine as well.
I shared particularly this because this was the only time I felt and saw it right infront of me.

I think there’s something off about my campus
Hey everyone, I’m typing this on my phone so I apologize if there is weird formatting. Anyways, to get to the point, there’s something really off with some people on my campus. I have come seeking answers.I noticed it first walking home from my 7pm class last Wednesday.
To set the scene, most of the campus is tucked back into the woods a little, and my 7pm class is in the farthest building from the parking lot (further into the woods). I get out from that 7pm class around 9pm, so on cloudy nights like last Wednesday, the only lights on that long sidewalk are the lights radiating from the other buildings. Usually, there’s roughly 30 feet where it’s pitch black because the foliage is pretty dense. I usually walk back to my apartment with some classmates that live in the same complex as me, but I told them to go ahead of me while I finished the rest of the project.
After packing my laptop away, I started heading back home. It was roughly 9:30 at this point, and my brain was slowly shutting down preparing for the deep sleep that has yet to come.Walking down the sidewalk, I heard somebody not too far into the woods laughing like they’ve just heard the funniest joke ever. I immediately thought, “probably some Freshman walking the trails with their friends smoking weed”. Chuckling to myself, I put in my AirPods and picked a playlist for my journey back home.
When I looked up from my phone, there was the silhouette of somebody walking towards me. I have no idea how I missed them before, but honestly, it’s very possible they were just in a spot where the light wasn’t quite reaching them. A little unnerved, I shifted over to the left side of the sidewalk.
(Now I’m usually fine walking alone at night; I’m a 6’2 man who’s dabbled in the world of MMA. But something about this person gave me a primal feeling of unrest.)
When they shifted over to the left mirroring me, I felt my blood run cold. But alas, I had to keep walking because this was my only way back home. As I neared closer to the figure, I almost laughed at myself when I realized it was just some harmless girl walking towards the Murphy building. If anything, I’m the intimidating one to her.
This is where it really gets weird. She stopped as I was passing her and turned to me. Thinking she needed to ask me something, I took an AirPod out and asked “what’s up?”. After staring at me for an uncomfortable amount of time, she opened her mouth, and I kid you not, mimicked the laugh I heard moments before perfectly. Before I could chalk it up to it just being her in the trails earlier, I noticed something. Her mouth wasn’t moving at all. If I had left my AirPods in, it would just look like she was just opening her mouth and staring at me. She then shifted into a deep raspy laugh. She did all of this without moving her mouth at all; I couldn’t even see her throat moving as you would expect if someone was laughing. It was almost like she was some fucked up human-shaped gramophone. The feeling of absolute horror that came over me is something I’ve only experienced in my imagination. Before I could think to do anything next, My body began to run off some sort of primal instinct. With my legs burning, it took me about 10 minutes to get all the way back to my apartment and lock myself in relative safety.
I’m coming on here now to ask if anybody knows what I experienced? I have been hearing that same laughter outside my window every night since that night, I am too terrified to sleep well and have refused to go to any of my classes. Please I just want answers, I don’t want to keep living in fear.
Part 2:
Hey everyone, I’ve gotten some DMs telling me what it may be. I’ve heard everything from banshee to skinwalker. After further research I pray to god it was neither of them. I’m praying it was just some girl with a speaker playing some sort of cruel joke. I mean yes there are people who don’t like me on campus, I’ve made some enemies over the past 4 years. But, I just don’t understand what could’ve brought it to this point. I had to stop hiding in fear and go to my classes before my grades plummet, I’m almost done with my degree and only have a few more weeks. If I let some sort of stupid prank ruin my career, It would be everything I swore against to my parents.
A lot of you guys in the DMs were also asking what college I go to and what my name is. First I want to say sorry for not providing that information in the first post, I’m sure you can understand where my head was at typing that. So let me introduce myself, my name is Nick and In order to keep my privacy, I will only provide that I go to a midwest university.
I’m sure you may be wondering, “so did it just stop?”. I would love to say yes, but really things have just gotten weirder. Though, I am pleased to say that there is no longer laughing out my window every night.
Ever since that night, I’ve been noticing more things off with the people on campus. Now you may just think it’s paranoia, but just be patient and listen.
Yesterday, I decided to muster up all of my courage and go to class. Luckily my first class is at 10AM, when the sun is well in the sky, so walking across campus seemed much less threatening. When I sat down in my first class, I noticed something off with the girl that sits in front of me. Usually she’s chatty and excited to be in class, but today she just stared blankly ahead. I tried to say good morning and ask about her weekend, as we do every Monday, but she continued to have that blank stare. She did turn her head towards be, but her eyes read “lights on, but nobody is home”.
Thinking to myself, she may just be hungover, or going through the bout of college student depression. I decided to shrug it off and turn to the front of the class and get my notes ready. But the moment I turned around, I could feel it. Her eyes burrowing deep into the back of my head. When I flipped around to see if I was just being irrational, I quickly learned I wasn’t. Her eyes went from the blank glare, to the most enthusiastic face I’ve seen on her. It was horrible, it almost seemed like she was trying so hard to pretend she was thrilled to be in class and to speak to me. It was inhuman.
I’ve been on the internet long enough to catch on to the term “Uncanny valley”, and what I witnessed In my first hour gives me that same gut feeling I got when I saw that girl last Wednesday.
I was right to be uncomfortable though, I texted her after class to make sure she was doing alright. But her response only reignited the flames of deep fear burning in my soul.
I’ll copy and paste the messages here:
Me: Hey Is everything good? You seemed off in class today.
Steph SCI 101: Uh yeah, I’m fine. but I was not in class today, I’m severely hungover from Tanner’s party last night.
Me: Haha, good one.
Steph SCI 101: No I’m so Fr, are you okay?
Steph SCI 101: Are you trying to fuck with me or something?
Me: Nevermind, I’m sorry to bother you.
(End Of Texts)
Okay so I’m sure that this gives you all the same feeling of dread that it gave me but I’m sure scaled down a bit. This is where I have started to doubt that it’s a prank, because me and Stephanie are cool. There’s no level of hate for either of us, and even if it was some joke, we don’t know each other on that type of level.
Not only did this seem to happen in my first class, but in between classes while I was walking across campus as well. I walk past hundreds of faces in my many treks across campus, and I swear to you, at least 1/4th of the people I walked past had that same dead stare look. And the way they walked, god I hate even thinking of it. It was like they were an alien trying out their new body suits for the first time. The steps and the bends of their legs just seem so meticulous, dramaticized, and puppeteered.
I’m going to try to investigate further, because at this point my fear for my life is more of a reason to try and figure out what it is so I can try to stop it.
I’m no hero, and I’m sure as hell nothing special, but If I can know what to expect for another encounter, maybe I can avoid meeting the demise I have imagined.
Part 3

First off I would like to apologize for my 20-day hiatus. For those who were worried that curiosity killed the cat so to speak, I appreciate your concern. On top of my investigation, I have also had to go through finals and work for a boss who didn't believe in life outside of work. So let's start where we left off. I had a feeling that this task was left for me to solve. it may sound stupid, but let me explain why. That night, after my last post, I had a dream that further solidified my need to solve the mystery. I tried to write all that I remembered down the morning after so here is what I wrote. 

April 4th, 2024
I had a strange dream last night, stranger than usual at least. I awoke in the woods, laying face down in the grass with someone looming over me. I heard their footsteps flee rapidly before I flipped over. I found myself just off the trail where the “incident” happened, on the trail laid a girl, bloodied and motionless. When I got up to approach her, she was quickly dragged into the parallel section of the woods. Seeing this I turned and ran into the section of woods I was in. When my legs gave out I found myself near an old supply shed, worn and long abandoned. Searching for cover, I tried the door, which luckily gave after a quick pull. There I found a trapdoor which emanated a blue hue through the cracks. The only thought on my mind, survival brought me to throw it open and climb down. I clattered down the ladder and right before my feet touched the ground, I was pulled backwards by my shirt. That’s where I woke up.
I have always trusted my gut and having a dream that vivid gave me a sense of courage I did not previously have. I know where to start my search now. I have decided my best course of action will be to record my findings on a tape recorder app. After I finish each entry it will be uploaded to a cloud that will ensure if anything happens to me, the story will get out. I am packing my backpack now with a flashlight, glow sticks to mark my trail, and a machete I was gifted by a local in Mexico. All of my recordings will be uploaded below and auto posted after 10 days. Wish me luck everyone, I’m going to need it.
Entry 1: I have started at the only place that makes sense, the trail. It is currently 1:45 PM and I have plenty of sun left in the sky. I just needed to find exactly where to start my journey into the woods. Strangely it was very easy to find. I recall one of the trees having a funky twist near the middle of the trunk. Probably just some two lovebirds trying to carve their name into the tree and realizing there were softer trees to carve into. Anyways hiking further into the woods I believe I can see the shape of the shed through the branches. I wish you guys could see how dense these trees are so you can understand my struggle.
Entry 2: I made it to the shed, but unfortunately the floor in here is concrete. This really sucks for me because I have absolutely no idea where to go from here. It’s identical on the outside but I just don’t understand. Maybe I’m just delusional, which in that case what a waste of time and energy. I’m going to head back home and just start packing for summer. Maybe it’ll be best if I just forget about all of this and leave it behind me. I am graduating after all. Wait hold on what is this?? there’s a button behind one of these shelves. I am going to press it, but idk how it would work because this floor is seamless. I’m just going to leave this recording so if anything does happen I don’t have to worry about holding the phone the whole time. Holy shit, the entire floor is lowering. It’s a fucking elevator.
Entry 3: Okay so I’ve been going down this elevator for like 30 seconds, how far down am I going?.. Oh wait hold on, Im stopped… There’s a metal door with a padlock. Ig since I have the machete there’s only one thing to do, break it. Im going to use the blunt side so I don’t ruin this thing, I like it too much. the lock clatters to the ground after 3 solid hits. Well ig there’s only one way to go now, there’s no button to get back up so I pray there’s another way up. The metal door creaks loudly. Fuck I regret this, It’s dark and I can tell it’s a big area because it’s so echoey in here. I’m currently praising my past self for thinking about the flashlight and glow sticks. I need to find out what in the hell this place is and most importantly, if there’s a damn light switch.
Entry 4: God this place is terrifying I’ve been walking around the sterile white halls of this place for like 10 minutes and have found nothing, no doors, no light switch. I feel like a rat in a maze. Also scratch what I said about being glad I packed glow sticks, because my stupid ass only brought like 20 of these things and I’m already down to 5. Also I feel like I’m not alone, every now and then I’ll turn a corner and the glow from the previous glow stick quickly vanishes. I feel like it might just be because the darkness seems to envelop everything like a blanket. But I have that feeling that I’m being followed. You know the one, where you know somethings wrong you just can’t pin point what it is. Oh shit no way, there’s light, I think there’s a door or something up ahead.
Entry 5: Holy shit… It’s a lab, and worse, there’s people strapped too tables, completely naked and unconscious. I know they are alive because each of them are hooked up with a million different cords, and one of those are plugged into a heart monitor. This place is huge, there has to be at least 50 people on these tables.
“Hey you, you’re not supposed to be in here” yelled a man adorned in a lab coat.
“What are you doing to these kids you sick fucks.” I yelled back at the man across the lab.
In a haste the scientist rushes towards a red button, setting off a loud alarm, turning the lights to a flashing red. With no exit behind me, I could only do one thing... Rush towards him. My training kicked in as I launched into a flurry of calculated strikes. My first hit connected, a right overhand clean under his eye. The doctor stumbled back, but I didn't give him a chance to recover. I pressed the attack, keeping him off balance with a relentless barrage of punches and kicks. He fought back ferociously, but I was one step ahead, anticipating his moves and countering with swift, efficient strikes. We wrestled, the room around us becoming a blur of pain and adrenaline. I used the environment to my advantage, improvising weapons from the scattered medical equipment and turning the empty tables on my opponent. Pinning him to the ground, I laid down a harsh barrage of final blows. His face was a bloody pulp, unrecognizable. But I didn’t walk away unscathed, somewhere in the tussle, the scientist buried a scalpel deep into my stomach. With my adrenaline wearing off, the pain overtook me, sending me into darkness as I fainted from the blood loss and adrenaline dump. I awoke with my arms and legs strapped to the cold metal operating table. Before I could try to struggle, a face overtook my field of vision.
“Quite a fight you put up, you turned poor Dr.Samson into a soup” the looming face said with a chuckle. “You are the first person to put the pieces together and for that I am thoroughly impressed Mr. Hayes”
“Who are you?!” I said fighting at my binds. “Let me go!”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that Mr.Hayes. You have seen far too much, and I definitely can’t have you running around telling the world what you saw here. Although nobody would believe you.” “And to answer your other question, I’m surprised you don’t recognize me… really take a moment and look at me” He said pulling down his face mask.
“Dr.Blackwood?” I said as I looked back on my freshman year biology class.
“Ding ding ding ding. We have a winner!” He said in a maniac joy.
“What are you going to do to me?” I asked.
“Well Mr.Hayes, first I’m going to sew you up from your little tussle you had with my late assistant and then I will put you under and cut into that skull of yours and take out a small piece of what we call in the science world your hippocampus. Then I will draw from that all of the necessary memories to create the perfect clone of you.” He responded.
“Why? Why would you need a clone of any of us. Why can’t you just clone someone willing to be apart of this?” I asked
“Because that’s no fun Mr.Hayes, the hunt excites me. Actually you’re lucky I didn’t get you the first night. Unfortunately my creation had a little bit of a malfunction and formed a wee bit of an attachment to you. I’m sure you remember the ruckus outside your window? Anyways I digress, I do this because everyone of you lowly students will go onto do mediocre jobs where you waste away at a desk. I must also add that with having a clone of you under my control, I can do anything and get away with clean hands. My plan with you originally was to have you go into the admissions office and steal every last cent all for me. On top of that I like the power, because one day I will have a clone of every student on this campus and eventually I will cause a revolt against our comedy of a government. Who will stop me, when I won’t even be on the front lines?” Dr.Blackwood explained.
“I will” I said freeing my last hand from the binds.
What he didn’t realize is that with all of this monologue and the questions I had been feeding him, I was slowly loosening my binds with each wiggle and movement in retaliation.
Lurching forward I grab onto his collar, pulling him into a vicious headbutt. The impact sent Dr. Blackwood reeling backward, his grip on consciousness loosening as he staggered. Seizing the moment, I lunged off the table, adrenaline coursing through my veins despite the searing pain in my abdomen. With a swift motion, I grabbed a nearby surgical instrument, holding it in a defensive stance as I faced my adversary. Dr. Blackwood, recovering from the blow, snarled with rage, his once calm demeanor now replaced by a feral intensity. The room seemed to shrink around us, the tension thickening with each passing second. This was my chance to stop Blackwood's twisted plans. As he lunged forward, I met his attack head-on, the clang of metal reverberating through the room. Blow after blow, we fought with an intensity born of desperation and determination. Despite my injuries, I refused to yield, driven by a fire burnt under me to protect myself and others from Blackwood's actions . In a final, swift move, I delivered a powerful front kick, sending Blackwood crashing to the ground. The room fell silent, the echoes of our struggle fading into the darkness. Coughing he sat in the corner laughing with blood spilling down his face. “You know that it’s too late to save any of these one lying on the tables. I would’ve released you, you know that right? I would’ve simply taken your memory from today out of your brain and leaving you in your bed to wake up thinking you had a fun night” he said with final resolve as he watched me grab the scalpel from the ground taking slow steps near him.
Looking down over him, It was my turn to laugh. Kneeling down to eye level with him I grabbed him by his hair and delivered a final message to him “Fuck you and your little science experiment” as I sliced deep into his throat watching the life fade from his eyes.
I eventually found an exit door, which lead me to a storm drain deep in the woods far from my campus. It took me 2 hours to limp my way onto a main road and flag down a passing car. Pulling over I was rushed to the hospital and later interrogated by some men in suits, my guess is CIA. Here I am now, writing my final entrance. I think I heard them say something about trying a new medical process on me to help me heal quicker

I think there’s something off about my campus
Hey everyone, I’m typing this on my phone so I apologize if there is weird formatting. Anyways, to get to the point, there’s something really off with some people on my campus. I have come seeking answers.I noticed it first walking home from my 7pm class last Wednesday.
To set the scene, most of the campus is tucked back into the woods a little, and my 7pm class is in the farthest building from the parking lot (further into the woods). I get out from that 7pm class around 9pm, so on cloudy nights like last Wednesday, the only lights on that long sidewalk are the lights radiating from the other buildings. Usually, there’s roughly 30 feet where it’s pitch black because the foliage is pretty dense. I usually walk back to my apartment with some classmates that live in the same complex as me, but I told them to go ahead of me while I finished the rest of the project.
After packing my laptop away, I started heading back home. It was roughly 9:30 at this point, and my brain was slowly shutting down preparing for the deep sleep that has yet to come.Walking down the sidewalk, I heard somebody not too far into the woods laughing like they’ve just heard the funniest joke ever. I immediately thought, “probably some Freshman walking the trails with their friends smoking weed”. Chuckling to myself, I put in my AirPods and picked a playlist for my journey back home.
When I looked up from my phone, there was the silhouette of somebody walking towards me. I have no idea how I missed them before, but honestly, it’s very possible they were just in a spot where the light wasn’t quite reaching them. A little unnerved, I shifted over to the left side of the sidewalk.
(Now I’m usually fine walking alone at night; I’m a 6’2 man who’s dabbled in the world of MMA. But something about this person gave me a primal feeling of unrest.)
When they shifted over to the left mirroring me, I felt my blood run cold. But alas, I had to keep walking because this was my only way back home. As I neared closer to the figure, I almost laughed at myself when I realized it was just some harmless girl walking towards the Murphy building. If anything, I’m the intimidating one to her.
This is where it really gets weird. She stopped as I was passing her and turned to me. Thinking she needed to ask me something, I took an AirPod out and asked “what’s up?”. After staring at me for an uncomfortable amount of time, she opened her mouth, and I kid you not, mimicked the laugh I heard moments before perfectly. Before I could chalk it up to it just being her in the trails earlier, I noticed something. Her mouth wasn’t moving at all. If I had left my AirPods in, it would just look like she was just opening her mouth and staring at me. She then shifted into a deep raspy laugh. She did all of this without moving her mouth at all; I couldn’t even see her throat moving as you would expect if someone was laughing. It was almost like she was some fucked up human-shaped gramophone. The feeling of absolute horror that came over me is something I’ve only experienced in my imagination. Before I could think to do anything next, My body began to run off some sort of primal instinct. With my legs burning, it took me about 10 minutes to get all the way back to my apartment and lock myself in relative safety.
I’m coming on here now to ask if anybody knows what I experienced? I have been hearing that same laughter outside my window every night since that night, I am too terrified to sleep well and have refused to go to any of my classes. Please I just want answers, I don’t want to keep living in fear.
Part 2:
Hey everyone, I’ve gotten some DMs telling me what it may be. I’ve heard everything from banshee to skinwalker. After further research I pray to god it was neither of them. I’m praying it was just some girl with a speaker playing some sort of cruel joke. I mean yes there are people who don’t like me on campus, I’ve made some enemies over the past 4 years. But, I just don’t understand what could’ve brought it to this point. I had to stop hiding in fear and go to my classes before my grades plummet, I’m almost done with my degree and only have a few more weeks. If I let some sort of stupid prank ruin my career, It would be everything I swore against to my parents.
A lot of you guys in the DMs were also asking what college I go to and what my name is. First I want to say sorry for not providing that information in the first post, I’m sure you can understand where my head was at typing that. So let me introduce myself, my name is Nick and In order to keep my privacy, I will only provide that I go to a midwest university.
I’m sure you may be wondering, “so did it just stop?”. I would love to say yes, but really things have just gotten weirder. Though, I am pleased to say that there is no longer laughing out my window every night.
Ever since that night, I’ve been noticing more things off with the people on campus. Now you may just think it’s paranoia, but just be patient and listen.
Yesterday, I decided to muster up all of my courage and go to class. Luckily my first class is at 10AM, when the sun is well in the sky, so walking across campus seemed much less threatening. When I sat down in my first class, I noticed something off with the girl that sits in front of me. Usually she’s chatty and excited to be in class, but today she just stared blankly ahead. I tried to say good morning and ask about her weekend, as we do every Monday, but she continued to have that blank stare. She did turn her head towards be, but her eyes read “lights on, but nobody is home”.
Thinking to myself, she may just be hungover, or going through the bout of college student depression. I decided to shrug it off and turn to the front of the class and get my notes ready. But the moment I turned around, I could feel it. Her eyes burrowing deep into the back of my head. When I flipped around to see if I was just being irrational, I quickly learned I wasn’t. Her eyes went from the blank glare, to the most enthusiastic face I’ve seen on her. It was horrible, it almost seemed like she was trying so hard to pretend she was thrilled to be in class and to speak to me. It was inhuman.
I’ve been on the internet long enough to catch on to the term “Uncanny valley”, and what I witnessed In my first hour gives me that same gut feeling I got when I saw that girl last Wednesday.
I was right to be uncomfortable though, I texted her after class to make sure she was doing alright. But her response only reignited the flames of deep fear burning in my soul.
I’ll copy and paste the messages here:
Me: Hey Is everything good? You seemed off in class today.
Steph SCI 101: Uh yeah, I’m fine. but I was not in class today, I’m severely hungover from Tanner’s party last night.
Me: Haha, good one.
Steph SCI 101: No I’m so Fr, are you okay?
Steph SCI 101: Are you trying to fuck with me or something?
Me: Nevermind, I’m sorry to bother you.
(End Of Texts)
Okay so I’m sure that this gives you all the same feeling of dread that it gave me but I’m sure scaled down a bit. This is where I have started to doubt that it’s a prank, because me and Stephanie are cool. There’s no level of hate for either of us, and even if it was some joke, we don’t know each other on that type of level.
Not only did this seem to happen in my first class, but in between classes while I was walking across campus as well. I walk past hundreds of faces in my many treks across campus, and I swear to you, at least 1/4th of the people I walked past had that same dead stare look. And the way they walked, god I hate even thinking of it. It was like they were an alien trying out their new body suits for the first time. The steps and the bends of their legs just seem so meticulous, dramaticized, and puppeteered.
I’m going to try to investigate further, because at this point my fear for my life is more of a reason to try and figure out what it is so I can try to stop it.
I’m no hero, and I’m sure as hell nothing special, but If I can know what to expect for another encounter, maybe I can avoid meeting the demise I have imagined.
Part 3

First off I would like to apologize for my 20-day hiatus. For those who were worried that curiosity killed the cat so to speak, I appreciate your concern. On top of my investigation, I have also had to go through finals and work for a boss who didn't believe in life outside of work. So let's start where we left off. I had a feeling that this task was left for me to solve. it may sound stupid, but let me explain why. That night, after my last post, I had a dream that further solidified my need to solve the mystery. I tried to write all that I remembered down the morning after so here is what I wrote. 

April 4th, 2024
I had a strange dream last night, stranger than usual at least. I awoke in the woods, laying face down in the grass with someone looming over me. I heard their footsteps flee rapidly before I flipped over. I found myself just off the trail where the “incident” happened, on the trail laid a girl, bloodied and motionless. When I got up to approach her, she was quickly dragged into the parallel section of the woods. Seeing this I turned and ran into the section of woods I was in. When my legs gave out I found myself near an old supply shed, worn and long abandoned. Searching for cover, I tried the door, which luckily gave after a quick pull. There I found a trapdoor which emanated a blue hue through the cracks. The only thought on my mind, survival brought me to throw it open and climb down. I clattered down the ladder and right before my feet touched the ground, I was pulled backwards by my shirt. That’s where I woke up.
I have always trusted my gut and having a dream that vivid gave me a sense of courage I did not previously have. I know where to start my search now. I have decided my best course of action will be to record my findings on a tape recorder app. After I finish each entry it will be uploaded to a cloud that will ensure if anything happens to me, the story will get out. I am packing my backpack now with a flashlight, glow sticks to mark my trail, and a machete I was gifted by a local in Mexico. All of my recordings will be uploaded below and auto posted after 10 days. Wish me luck everyone, I’m going to need it.
Entry 1: I have started at the only place that makes sense, the trail. It is currently 1:45 PM and I have plenty of sun left in the sky. I just needed to find exactly where to start my journey into the woods. Strangely it was very easy to find. I recall one of the trees having a funky twist near the middle of the trunk. Probably just some two lovebirds trying to carve their name into the tree and realizing there were softer trees to carve into. Anyways hiking further into the woods I believe I can see the shape of the shed through the branches. I wish you guys could see how dense these trees are so you can understand my struggle.
Entry 2: I made it to the shed, but unfortunately the floor in here is concrete. This really sucks for me because I have absolutely no idea where to go from here. It’s identical on the outside but I just don’t understand. Maybe I’m just delusional, which in that case what a waste of time and energy. I’m going to head back home and just start packing for summer. Maybe it’ll be best if I just forget about all of this and leave it behind me. I am graduating after all. Wait hold on what is this?? there’s a button behind one of these shelves. I am going to press it, but idk how it would work because this floor is seamless. I’m just going to leave this recording so if anything does happen I don’t have to worry about holding the phone the whole time. Holy shit, the entire floor is lowering. It’s a fucking elevator.
Entry 3: Okay so I’ve been going down this elevator for like 30 seconds, how far down am I going?.. Oh wait hold on, Im stopped… There’s a metal door with a padlock. Ig since I have the machete there’s only one thing to do, break it. Im going to use the blunt side so I don’t ruin this thing, I like it too much. the lock clatters to the ground after 3 solid hits. Well ig there’s only one way to go now, there’s no button to get back up so I pray there’s another way up. The metal door creaks loudly. Fuck I regret this, It’s dark and I can tell it’s a big area because it’s so echoey in here. I’m currently praising my past self for thinking about the flashlight and glow sticks. I need to find out what in the hell this place is and most importantly, if there’s a damn light switch.
Entry 4: God this place is terrifying I’ve been walking around the sterile white halls of this place for like 10 minutes and have found nothing, no doors, no light switch. I feel like a rat in a maze. Also scratch what I said about being glad I packed glow sticks, because my stupid ass only brought like 20 of these things and I’m already down to 5. Also I feel like I’m not alone, every now and then I’ll turn a corner and the glow from the previous glow stick quickly vanishes. I feel like it might just be because the darkness seems to envelop everything like a blanket. But I have that feeling that I’m being followed. You know the one, where you know somethings wrong you just can’t pin point what it is. Oh shit no way, there’s light, I think there’s a door or something up ahead.
Entry 5: Holy shit… It’s a lab, and worse, there’s people strapped too tables, completely naked and unconscious. I know they are alive because each of them are hooked up with a million different cords, and one of those are plugged into a heart monitor. This place is huge, there has to be at least 50 people on these tables.
“Hey you, you’re not supposed to be in here” yelled a man adorned in a lab coat.
“What are you doing to these kids you sick fucks.” I yelled back at the man across the lab.
In a haste the scientist rushes towards a red button, setting off a loud alarm, turning the lights to a flashing red. With no exit behind me, I could only do one thing... Rush towards him. My training kicked in as I launched into a flurry of calculated strikes. My first hit connected, a right overhand clean under his eye. The doctor stumbled back, but I didn't give him a chance to recover. I pressed the attack, keeping him off balance with a relentless barrage of punches and kicks. He fought back ferociously, but I was one step ahead, anticipating his moves and countering with swift, efficient strikes. We wrestled, the room around us becoming a blur of pain and adrenaline. I used the environment to my advantage, improvising weapons from the scattered medical equipment and turning the empty tables on my opponent. Pinning him to the ground, I laid down a harsh barrage of final blows. His face was a bloody pulp, unrecognizable. But I didn’t walk away unscathed, somewhere in the tussle, the scientist buried a scalpel deep into my stomach. With my adrenaline wearing off, the pain overtook me, sending me into darkness as I fainted from the blood loss and adrenaline dump. I awoke with my arms and legs strapped to the cold metal operating table. Before I could try to struggle, a face overtook my field of vision.
“Quite a fight you put up, you turned poor Dr.Samson into a soup” the looming face said with a chuckle. “You are the first person to put the pieces together and for that I am thoroughly impressed Mr. Hayes”
“Who are you?!” I said fighting at my binds. “Let me go!”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that Mr.Hayes. You have seen far too much, and I definitely can’t have you running around telling the world what you saw here. Although nobody would believe you.” “And to answer your other question, I’m surprised you don’t recognize me… really take a moment and look at me” He said pulling down his face mask.
“Dr.Blackwood?” I said as I looked back on my freshman year biology class.
“Ding ding ding ding. We have a winner!” He said in a maniac joy.
“What are you going to do to me?” I asked.
“Well Mr.Hayes, first I’m going to sew you up from your little tussle you had with my late assistant and then I will put you under and cut into that skull of yours and take out a small piece of what we call in the science world your hippocampus. Then I will draw from that all of the necessary memories to create the perfect clone of you.” He responded.
“Why? Why would you need a clone of any of us. Why can’t you just clone someone willing to be apart of this?” I asked
“Because that’s no fun Mr.Hayes, the hunt excites me. Actually you’re lucky I didn’t get you the first night. Unfortunately my creation had a little bit of a malfunction and formed a wee bit of an attachment to you. I’m sure you remember the ruckus outside your window? Anyways I digress, I do this because everyone of you lowly students will go onto do mediocre jobs where you waste away at a desk. I must also add that with having a clone of you under my control, I can do anything and get away with clean hands. My plan with you originally was to have you go into the admissions office and steal every last cent all for me. On top of that I like the power, because one day I will have a clone of every student on this campus and eventually I will cause a revolt against our comedy of a government. Who will stop me, when I won’t even be on the front lines?” Dr.Blackwood explained.
“I will” I said freeing my last hand from the binds.
What he didn’t realize is that with all of this monologue and the questions I had been feeding him, I was slowly loosening my binds with each wiggle and movement in retaliation.
Lurching forward I grab onto his collar, pulling him into a vicious headbutt. The impact sent Dr. Blackwood reeling backward, his grip on consciousness loosening as he staggered. Seizing the moment, I lunged off the table, adrenaline coursing through my veins despite the searing pain in my abdomen. With a swift motion, I grabbed a nearby surgical instrument, holding it in a defensive stance as I faced my adversary. Dr. Blackwood, recovering from the blow, snarled with rage, his once calm demeanor now replaced by a feral intensity. The room seemed to shrink around us, the tension thickening with each passing second. This was my chance to stop Blackwood's twisted plans. As he lunged forward, I met his attack head-on, the clang of metal reverberating through the room. Blow after blow, we fought with an intensity born of desperation and determination. Despite my injuries, I refused to yield, driven by a fire burnt under me to protect myself and others from Blackwood's actions . In a final, swift move, I delivered a powerful front kick, sending Blackwood crashing to the ground. The room fell silent, the echoes of our struggle fading into the darkness. Coughing he sat in the corner laughing with blood spilling down his face. “You know that it’s too late to save any of these one lying on the tables. I would’ve released you, you know that right? I would’ve simply taken your memory from today out of your brain and leaving you in your bed to wake up thinking you had a fun night” he said with final resolve as he watched me grab the scalpel from the ground taking slow steps near him.
Looking down over him, It was my turn to laugh. Kneeling down to eye level with him I grabbed him by his hair and delivered a final message to him “Fuck you and your little science experiment” as I sliced deep into his throat watching the life fade from his eyes.
I eventually found an exit door, which lead me to a storm drain deep in the woods far from my campus. It took me 2 hours to limp my way onto a main road and flag down a passing car. Pulling over I was rushed to the hospital and later interrogated by some men in suits, my guess is CIA. Here I am now, writing my final entrance. I think I heard them say something about trying a new medical process on me to help me heal quicker

I think there’s something off about my campus
Hey everyone, I’m typing this on my phone so I apologize if there is weird formatting. Anyways, to get to the point, there’s something really off with some people on my campus. I have come seeking answers.I noticed it first walking home from my 7pm class last Wednesday.
To set the scene, most of the campus is tucked back into the woods a little, and my 7pm class is in the farthest building from the parking lot (further into the woods). I get out from that 7pm class around 9pm, so on cloudy nights like last Wednesday, the only lights on that long sidewalk are the lights radiating from the other buildings. Usually, there’s roughly 30 feet where it’s pitch black because the foliage is pretty dense. I usually walk back to my apartment with some classmates that live in the same complex as me, but I told them to go ahead of me while I finished the rest of the project.
After packing my laptop away, I started heading back home. It was roughly 9:30 at this point, and my brain was slowly shutting down preparing for the deep sleep that has yet to come.Walking down the sidewalk, I heard somebody not too far into the woods laughing like they’ve just heard the funniest joke ever. I immediately thought, “probably some Freshman walking the trails with their friends smoking weed”. Chuckling to myself, I put in my AirPods and picked a playlist for my journey back home.
When I looked up from my phone, there was the silhouette of somebody walking towards me. I have no idea how I missed them before, but honestly, it’s very possible they were just in a spot where the light wasn’t quite reaching them. A little unnerved, I shifted over to the left side of the sidewalk.
(Now I’m usually fine walking alone at night; I’m a 6’2 man who’s dabbled in the world of MMA. But something about this person gave me a primal feeling of unrest.)
When they shifted over to the left mirroring me, I felt my blood run cold. But alas, I had to keep walking because this was my only way back home. As I neared closer to the figure, I almost laughed at myself when I realized it was just some harmless girl walking towards the Murphy building. If anything, I’m the intimidating one to her.
This is where it really gets weird. She stopped as I was passing her and turned to me. Thinking she needed to ask me something, I took an AirPod out and asked “what’s up?”. After staring at me for an uncomfortable amount of time, she opened her mouth, and I kid you not, mimicked the laugh I heard moments before perfectly. Before I could chalk it up to it just being her in the trails earlier, I noticed something. Her mouth wasn’t moving at all. If I had left my AirPods in, it would just look like she was just opening her mouth and staring at me. She then shifted into a deep raspy laugh. She did all of this without moving her mouth at all; I couldn’t even see her throat moving as you would expect if someone was laughing. It was almost like she was some fucked up human-shaped gramophone. The feeling of absolute horror that came over me is something I’ve only experienced in my imagination. Before I could think to do anything next, My body began to run off some sort of primal instinct. With my legs burning, it took me about 10 minutes to get all the way back to my apartment and lock myself in relative safety.
I’m coming on here now to ask if anybody knows what I experienced? I have been hearing that same laughter outside my window every night since that night, I am too terrified to sleep well and have refused to go to any of my classes. Please I just want answers, I don’t want to keep living in fear.
Part 2:
Hey everyone, I’ve gotten some DMs telling me what it may be. I’ve heard everything from banshee to skinwalker. After further research I pray to god it was neither of them. I’m praying it was just some girl with a speaker playing some sort of cruel joke. I mean yes there are people who don’t like me on campus, I’ve made some enemies over the past 4 years. But, I just don’t understand what could’ve brought it to this point. I had to stop hiding in fear and go to my classes before my grades plummet, I’m almost done with my degree and only have a few more weeks. If I let some sort of stupid prank ruin my career, It would be everything I swore against to my parents.
A lot of you guys in the DMs were also asking what college I go to and what my name is. First I want to say sorry for not providing that information in the first post, I’m sure you can understand where my head was at typing that. So let me introduce myself, my name is Nick and In order to keep my privacy, I will only provide that I go to a midwest university.
I’m sure you may be wondering, “so did it just stop?”. I would love to say yes, but really things have just gotten weirder. Though, I am pleased to say that there is no longer laughing out my window every night.
Ever since that night, I’ve been noticing more things off with the people on campus. Now you may just think it’s paranoia, but just be patient and listen.
Yesterday, I decided to muster up all of my courage and go to class. Luckily my first class is at 10AM, when the sun is well in the sky, so walking across campus seemed much less threatening. When I sat down in my first class, I noticed something off with the girl that sits in front of me. Usually she’s chatty and excited to be in class, but today she just stared blankly ahead. I tried to say good morning and ask about her weekend, as we do every Monday, but she continued to have that blank stare. She did turn her head towards be, but her eyes read “lights on, but nobody is home”.
Thinking to myself, she may just be hungover, or going through the bout of college student depression. I decided to shrug it off and turn to the front of the class and get my notes ready. But the moment I turned around, I could feel it. Her eyes burrowing deep into the back of my head. When I flipped around to see if I was just being irrational, I quickly learned I wasn’t. Her eyes went from the blank glare, to the most enthusiastic face I’ve seen on her. It was horrible, it almost seemed like she was trying so hard to pretend she was thrilled to be in class and to speak to me. It was inhuman.
I’ve been on the internet long enough to catch on to the term “Uncanny valley”, and what I witnessed In my first hour gives me that same gut feeling I got when I saw that girl last Wednesday.
I was right to be uncomfortable though, I texted her after class to make sure she was doing alright. But her response only reignited the flames of deep fear burning in my soul.
I’ll copy and paste the messages here:
Me: Hey Is everything good? You seemed off in class today.
Steph SCI 101: Uh yeah, I’m fine. but I was not in class today, I’m severely hungover from Tanner’s party last night.
Me: Haha, good one.
Steph SCI 101: No I’m so Fr, are you okay?
Steph SCI 101: Are you trying to fuck with me or something?
Me: Nevermind, I’m sorry to bother you.
(End Of Texts)
Okay so I’m sure that this gives you all the same feeling of dread that it gave me but I’m sure scaled down a bit. This is where I have started to doubt that it’s a prank, because me and Stephanie are cool. There’s no level of hate for either of us, and even if it was some joke, we don’t know each other on that type of level.
Not only did this seem to happen in my first class, but in between classes while I was walking across campus as well. I walk past hundreds of faces in my many treks across campus, and I swear to you, at least 1/4th of the people I walked past had that same dead stare look. And the way they walked, god I hate even thinking of it. It was like they were an alien trying out their new body suits for the first time. The steps and the bends of their legs just seem so meticulous, dramaticized, and puppeteered.
I’m going to try to investigate further, because at this point my fear for my life is more of a reason to try and figure out what it is so I can try to stop it.
I’m no hero, and I’m sure as hell nothing special, but If I can know what to expect for another encounter, maybe I can avoid meeting the demise I have imagined.
Part 3

First off I would like to apologize for my 20-day hiatus. For those who were worried that curiosity killed the cat so to speak, I appreciate your concern. On top of my investigation, I have also had to go through finals and work for a boss who didn't believe in life outside of work. So let's start where we left off. I had a feeling that this task was left for me to solve. it may sound stupid, but let me explain why. That night, after my last post, I had a dream that further solidified my need to solve the mystery. I tried to write all that I remembered down the morning after so here is what I wrote. 

April 4th, 2024
I had a strange dream last night, stranger than usual at least. I awoke in the woods, laying face down in the grass with someone looming over me. I heard their footsteps flee rapidly before I flipped over. I found myself just off the trail where the “incident” happened, on the trail laid a girl, bloodied and motionless. When I got up to approach her, she was quickly dragged into the parallel section of the woods. Seeing this I turned and ran into the section of woods I was in. When my legs gave out I found myself near an old supply shed, worn and long abandoned. Searching for cover, I tried the door, which luckily gave after a quick pull. There I found a trapdoor which emanated a blue hue through the cracks. The only thought on my mind, survival brought me to throw it open and climb down. I clattered down the ladder and right before my feet touched the ground, I was pulled backwards by my shirt. That’s where I woke up.
I have always trusted my gut and having a dream that vivid gave me a sense of courage I did not previously have. I know where to start my search now. I have decided my best course of action will be to record my findings on a tape recorder app. After I finish each entry it will be uploaded to a cloud that will ensure if anything happens to me, the story will get out. I am packing my backpack now with a flashlight, glow sticks to mark my trail, and a machete I was gifted by a local in Mexico. All of my recordings will be uploaded below and auto posted after 10 days. Wish me luck everyone, I’m going to need it.
Entry 1: I have started at the only place that makes sense, the trail. It is currently 1:45 PM and I have plenty of sun left in the sky. I just needed to find exactly where to start my journey into the woods. Strangely it was very easy to find. I recall one of the trees having a funky twist near the middle of the trunk. Probably just some two lovebirds trying to carve their name into the tree and realizing there were softer trees to carve into. Anyways hiking further into the woods I believe I can see the shape of the shed through the branches. I wish you guys could see how dense these trees are so you can understand my struggle.
Entry 2: I made it to the shed, but unfortunately the floor in here is concrete. This really sucks for me because I have absolutely no idea where to go from here. It’s identical on the outside but I just don’t understand. Maybe I’m just delusional, which in that case what a waste of time and energy. I’m going to head back home and just start packing for summer. Maybe it’ll be best if I just forget about all of this and leave it behind me. I am graduating after all. Wait hold on what is this?? there’s a button behind one of these shelves. I am going to press it, but idk how it would work because this floor is seamless. I’m just going to leave this recording so if anything does happen I don’t have to worry about holding the phone the whole time. Holy shit, the entire floor is lowering. It’s a fucking elevator.
Entry 3: Okay so I’ve been going down this elevator for like 30 seconds, how far down am I going?.. Oh wait hold on, Im stopped… There’s a metal door with a padlock. Ig since I have the machete there’s only one thing to do, break it. Im going to use the blunt side so I don’t ruin this thing, I like it too much. the lock clatters to the ground after 3 solid hits. Well ig there’s only one way to go now, there’s no button to get back up so I pray there’s another way up. The metal door creaks loudly. Fuck I regret this, It’s dark and I can tell it’s a big area because it’s so echoey in here. I’m currently praising my past self for thinking about the flashlight and glow sticks. I need to find out what in the hell this place is and most importantly, if there’s a damn light switch.
Entry 4: God this place is terrifying I’ve been walking around the sterile white halls of this place for like 10 minutes and have found nothing, no doors, no light switch. I feel like a rat in a maze. Also scratch what I said about being glad I packed glow sticks, because my stupid ass only brought like 20 of these things and I’m already down to 5. Also I feel like I’m not alone, every now and then I’ll turn a corner and the glow from the previous glow stick quickly vanishes. I feel like it might just be because the darkness seems to envelop everything like a blanket. But I have that feeling that I’m being followed. You know the one, where you know somethings wrong you just can’t pin point what it is. Oh shit no way, there’s light, I think there’s a door or something up ahead.
Entry 5: Holy shit… It’s a lab, and worse, there’s people strapped too tables, completely naked and unconscious. I know they are alive because each of them are hooked up with a million different cords, and one of those are plugged into a heart monitor. This place is huge, there has to be at least 50 people on these tables.
“Hey you, you’re not supposed to be in here” yelled a man adorned in a lab coat.
“What are you doing to these kids you sick fucks.” I yelled back at the man across the lab.
In a haste the scientist rushes towards a red button, setting off a loud alarm, turning the lights to a flashing red. With no exit behind me, I could only do one thing... Rush towards him. My training kicked in as I launched into a flurry of calculated strikes. My first hit connected, a right overhand clean under his eye. The doctor stumbled back, but I didn't give him a chance to recover. I pressed the attack, keeping him off balance with a relentless barrage of punches and kicks. He fought back ferociously, but I was one step ahead, anticipating his moves and countering with swift, efficient strikes. We wrestled, the room around us becoming a blur of pain and adrenaline. I used the environment to my advantage, improvising weapons from the scattered medical equipment and turning the empty tables on my opponent. Pinning him to the ground, I laid down a harsh barrage of final blows. His face was a bloody pulp, unrecognizable. But I didn’t walk away unscathed, somewhere in the tussle, the scientist buried a scalpel deep into my stomach. With my adrenaline wearing off, the pain overtook me, sending me into darkness as I fainted from the blood loss and adrenaline dump. I awoke with my arms and legs strapped to the cold metal operating table. Before I could try to struggle, a face overtook my field of vision.
“Quite a fight you put up, you turned poor Dr.Samson into a soup” the looming face said with a chuckle. “You are the first person to put the pieces together and for that I am thoroughly impressed Mr. Hayes”
“Who are you?!” I said fighting at my binds. “Let me go!”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that Mr.Hayes. You have seen far too much, and I definitely can’t have you running around telling the world what you saw here. Although nobody would believe you.” “And to answer your other question, I’m surprised you don’t recognize me… really take a moment and look at me” He said pulling down his face mask.
“Dr.Blackwood?” I said as I looked back on my freshman year biology class.
“Ding ding ding ding. We have a winner!” He said in a maniac joy.
“What are you going to do to me?” I asked.
“Well Mr.Hayes, first I’m going to sew you up from your little tussle you had with my late assistant and then I will put you under and cut into that skull of yours and take out a small piece of what we call in the science world your hippocampus. Then I will draw from that all of the necessary memories to create the perfect clone of you.” He responded.
“Why? Why would you need a clone of any of us. Why can’t you just clone someone willing to be apart of this?” I asked
“Because that’s no fun Mr.Hayes, the hunt excites me. Actually you’re lucky I didn’t get you the first night. Unfortunately my creation had a little bit of a malfunction and formed a wee bit of an attachment to you. I’m sure you remember the ruckus outside your window? Anyways I digress, I do this because everyone of you lowly students will go onto do mediocre jobs where you waste away at a desk. I must also add that with having a clone of you under my control, I can do anything and get away with clean hands. My plan with you originally was to have you go into the admissions office and steal every last cent all for me. On top of that I like the power, because one day I will have a clone of every student on this campus and eventually I will cause a revolt against our comedy of a government. Who will stop me, when I won’t even be on the front lines?” Dr.Blackwood explained.
“I will” I said freeing my last hand from the binds.
What he didn’t realize is that with all of this monologue and the questions I had been feeding him, I was slowly loosening my binds with each wiggle and movement in retaliation.
Lurching forward I grab onto his collar, pulling him into a vicious headbutt. The impact sent Dr. Blackwood reeling backward, his grip on consciousness loosening as he staggered. Seizing the moment, I lunged off the table, adrenaline coursing through my veins despite the searing pain in my abdomen. With a swift motion, I grabbed a nearby surgical instrument, holding it in a defensive stance as I faced my adversary. Dr. Blackwood, recovering from the blow, snarled with rage, his once calm demeanor now replaced by a feral intensity. The room seemed to shrink around us, the tension thickening with each passing second. This was my chance to stop Blackwood's twisted plans. As he lunged forward, I met his attack head-on, the clang of metal reverberating through the room. Blow after blow, we fought with an intensity born of desperation and determination. Despite my injuries, I refused to yield, driven by a fire burnt under me to protect myself and others from Blackwood's actions . In a final, swift move, I delivered a powerful front kick, sending Blackwood crashing to the ground. The room fell silent, the echoes of our struggle fading into the darkness. Coughing he sat in the corner laughing with blood spilling down his face. “You know that it’s too late to save any of these one lying on the tables. I would’ve released you, you know that right? I would’ve simply taken your memory from today out of your brain and leaving you in your bed to wake up thinking you had a fun night” he said with final resolve as he watched me grab the scalpel from the ground taking slow steps near him.
Looking down over him, It was my turn to laugh. Kneeling down to eye level with him I grabbed him by his hair and delivered a final message to him “Fuck you and your little science experiment” as I sliced deep into his throat watching the life fade from his eyes.
I eventually found an exit door, which lead me to a storm drain deep in the woods far from my campus. It took me 2 hours to limp my way onto a main road and flag down a passing car. Pulling over I was rushed to the hospital and later interrogated by some men in suits, my guess is CIA. Here I am now, writing my final entrance. I think I heard them say something about trying a new medical process on me to help me heal quicker

I currently use garage band and I thought for a moment I would have to use an abelton or logic free version that came with software I bought but, why are either of those better than easy to use garage band? And what can help me understand it if it is better compared to what I see in GarageBand. I felt intimidated by other daws they look to complex and I shut down.

My little brother committed suicide two weeks ago. He’s been sick mentally for years and had to essentially go to a group home. Long story short, as an adult he was diagnosed with bipolar, ptsd and antisocial personality disorder. The last few years have been hectic and so I distanced myself from him. He was only 19. He’s been gone two weeks and even though I can rationalize and understand he was sick. He also attempted at 16 when he lived at home. So I know logically, that even if he was home, he probably still would have done it. Lately I’ve been feeling numb just keeping it together, going to work and staying strong for my family. But it feels like it’s my fault. Maybe if I called him more he’d still be here. As his older sister, I just wanted him to be happy and be successful in life. So I feel like I failed him. I miss him, but not teenage him. I miss child him. I miss the person who would always make people laugh. I used to always help him with his homework and I just wanted the best in life for him.

Hello, reddit First, tw: Self harm and suicidal thoughts, please skip if triggering Here is the thing, I'm basically asking for judgement here, and if I really deserve what I am doing to myself. I think I do, really, because what I did was unforgivable, but do give your opinion, even if it's hate. Because I do deserve it here, really. So, I grew up in a religious family. Like, one in which things like "love marriage " And......well.......The "child making process" was considered a sin. Absolute sin. Like—I did not know what......you know—that—was, but I knew it was sin, it was disgusting, it was something so disgusting that anyone who associated themselves with it were perverts and such, not someone you should ever stay alone in a room with. Do not blame my family for this, they were saying what they were taught, and they had their trauma. They have broken through enough abuse for me, do not blame them please. Anyways, I was a huge fan of Harry Potter. And I stumbled into the world of fanfiction. And I read them. Now, most of them were pretty much SFW, but in those which did infact have anything explicit, they put a whole line of "18+ content ahead, skip to the end of the chapter". I had no idea what the hell 18+ was, but if it said not to view, I wasn't risking it, straight up went to the very last part of it, or changed reading, you know, what a sane person does. Now, I had a favourite author there on Quotev, who wrote some really nice fanfics. Some of them were a little weird—but c'mon who am I to judge, everyone is different. One day, I stumbled upon some works of her. Well, the stories she did write, those were completely SFW. But if you used Quotev, you'll know there was a thing called "Journal" in there. Sort of like "conversation" in Wattpad. There, she had written NSFW chapters on the characters. Here's the thing. There was no warning. None at all. No warning or tagging or anything provided there to show that it was 18+. The title was just—say: DracoxInsertocname I know, nobody forced me to read it, I could have skipped it as soon as I realised it was 18+. But here is the thing. I DIDN'T know what it was. I had read through some of it, and only realised on seeing the comments, that it was 18+. And I felt. I felt tainted, like I had committed a sin. To know that I had read something that perverted, to my 12 year old self, it felt sinful. Like I had my pure white mind muddied out of carelessness. I know, authors don't own us any tags. And if it were a hardcover book, it wouldn't have any tags. But here is the thing. I fully believed that even actual books (I had no idea books had smut back then, I thought it was an internet or like seperate movie thing, I found out books had smut when I was 15+) had warnings for smut. Blood and gore? Sure, no problem, make it as gross as you want, no warnings needed. But something as sinful as 18+? Must be tagged. MUST. BE . TAGGED. That was my thought process. Remember it wasn't AO3. So there was no tagging system. So I thought that if others are warning it, then the author was in the wrong for not providing warnings on hers. It was a site where children as young as 11 were. Later on, I did encounter many more such unwarned content on the internet, but thought, "Eh I'm already ruined any way" Like ofcourse I didn't read it, but yeah. Logic. That I was a sinner too, so I can't get offended anymore. Here comes the bad part, for which, if you hate me, I'll not blame you. I wrote her a letter. Like, online obviously. In the inbox of her writing site. I was.....very mean. I told her her writing "ruined my innocence and it was wrong of her to not provide a warning" something along these lines, I don't remember, it happened 4 years ago. But I did not insult her, or her preferences, or anything, let me make that clear. Just wrote in detail of how her work affected me negatively. If it in itself were insulting, I apologise. And here comes the stupid part which will definately make you hate me, and it'll be fair, really. She always said she liked dark humor. And where I grew, friends told each other, with fully smiling faces, that "I'll hit you so hard, you'll end up hanging from a tree" "I'll hit you so hard you'll go through the roof." Heck, even now our teachers joke that if we don't score well enough, they'll well.....very graphically describe how they'll beat us. So I grew up knowing violence was a joke. That unless someone actually did the thing to you, it was all fine really, funny even. Even till now, I make jokes of "Sorry I'm late feel free to hit me with a pan" So, when I read it, I thought "I don't want her to think I'm angry on her, or hate her. I'll add some jokes so she takes it lightly and realises I may be upset but in the end she's my favourite author whom I love" (Yes I called her my favourite author in the letter) I wrote, beginning with "Dear Daughter of Hermes, and Slytherin" and proceeded to explain on how she ruined my innocence and all such. I did not use any curse words—to clarify. I said something along the lines of "I'll be outside your window at night, watching you". Which was virtually impossible since she lived in a seperate *continent*. "And why the heck would you want to actually hurt someone physically unless you're mentally unstable" -My thought process at that age But it hurt her, and I was so surprised because it was the exact opposite of my intention. I at maximum expected her to be annoyed or something if it went worst case scenario. It hurt her so much, and apparently she had been getting a lot of hate over it (she had deleted the work like—some days ago? I don't remember) and that I should unfollow her. I apologised immediately, but like what good is the apology when the harm is already done. I had already planned to delete my account anyways, so that's what I did. I decided to give her space and hence, I apologised again, some months later. Another stupid thing? I addressed her as sister. I thought it would placate her. I really thought of her as close to me, even though she was a stranger. Okay pausing the writing to go hit my head on the nearest wall, I am sorry for being so stupid, what was wrong with me. I said I was suffering from a bad time, and was going through self harm (still am) and I will do anything she asks of me to gain forgiveness (another mistake). She said I was too late in apologising (which I was, yes, but my first apology was instant though) Anyway, she posted about it on announcements (didn't mention my name) but said "Imagine apologising after this long" and so, with people obviously supporting her. It scared me, so I left in fear of being attacked. (Would've deserved it though) It....well.....4 years passed. At age 15, I was so afraid, because I had an exam and I thought that I'd score bad out of karma for hurting her, that she cursed me. I scored pretty well but anyways. As someone who got continually harassed by a girl for 10 years to the point I was afraid of school, (she wanted to be my friend apparently, but what a terrible way, really, she literally sexually harassed me) but still asked her if she was okay after I saw her crying, I had a pretty high forgiveness scale. I really thought she'd (author) would forgive me for apologising. But like. No. I am not owed any forgiveness and I am aware of it. It wasn't her fault or duty, really. Anyway, fast forward to age 17. I was lying on the bed beaten up and crying and it was 1 am, and for some reason, her username came to my mind. I don't know why. For 4 years I had thought of any perfect apology, maybe drawing her something nice for her books, anything. But decided not to bring back bad memories to her. And also, I was a coward afraid of facing her. But I guess being beaten up messes with your head. Personal trauma is no reason to hurt someone, I agree 100%. But I wrote her a final apology. This time, I didn't ask for forgiveness, took all the blame on myself. I didn't apologise for closure. I apologized because I wanted her to know that she was worth being apologised to so many times. I called my younger self stupid and wished I could smack her on the head. I poured my entire heart and soul into it. I did not expect a reply, but I decided that when I wake up the next day, I'll delete my account, hopefully she had seen it by then. Woke up to find myself blocked and honestly? Deserved it. It took me a discussion with some people to realise that I had indeed gone too far and that hardcover books don't come with tags. And that apologising so many times was basically harassment. Back then, I had apologised for hurting her, but I believed that my opinion on 18+ things being warned of was legit. Then began true guilt. I loathed myself, thought of myself as a monster. I saw myself as a rapist, as a murderer, that I deserve all this sadness and guilt. I really wanted to kill myself over it. Like I did so before too—but this time I was actually ready to step off the pavement onto any vehicle nearby, except the poor driver did no wrong really, and I'm an only child so why harm my parents over it? I really hated myself over it, still do actually. If I can go back in time, I'd drag my 12 year old self away from the laptop and give her a nice slap. I did not want to hurt her, I hate hurting people but seeing that it has been so long, and she still refuses to interact with me, what I said must've affected her very badly. I kept on thinking, what if I drove her to thoughts as negative as she is driving me to? Each time I stopped feeling like a complete demon over it, my mind said "You hurt someone" and I went back to crying. My own mother said that I looked like I came from a funeral, at times. Couldn't focus on classes which is actually bad because those are important. The worst part is, I can't completely remember what I wrote to her. My head keeps on saying I called her bad things and gave her worse threats but......I don't remember doing it and there were no chances if I see it logically. I literally stopped being happy. Forced myself to be, for my own and my families' sake, and I tried, yeah. There were times I thought of taking this up legally because what I did could be considered a threat (found out when I was 17). Give myself over to the police or something. But I still hate myself. So I decided to punish myself. (Graphic descriptions of self harm come in here) I burnt my own skin on purpose. Nothing too bad really, just thumb sized burns from a saucepan. Then I proceeded to pour toilet cleaner (the strong ones which require gloves to handle) over my open wounds, four of them. I'll be honest. I have a very high pain tolerance. But that thing hurt like hell. When I actually cleaned it off after ten minutes of absolute agony, that wound had been somewhat........cauterised? Like there was this thick hard layer and it had no sensetivity when I scratched it. And I pulled off those hard layers. Some of them were stuck to the skin, I had to use a blade to ease them off. Then pour on them again. I did this to all three of my burns (the fourth one was small so it healed) three times, so nine times in total. It has been a month and it still hasn't healed. These scars won't go away even with surgery. Permanent reminders. (Description ends here) I thought it to be like this: The incident hurt her? I'll hurt myself more than she could possibly ever get hurt. But that wouldn't undo her hurt. So I'll hurt myself even more. I have frankly forgotten of who I was two months ago. Of what I thought when my mind was empty. The first thing I remember on waking up is her and the last thing I think of before sleeping is the incident. Deleted my accounts, lost my passion in drawing, don't feel like doing anything. I just. I hate myself. I truly do. I wish I could die but I can't so I just need to survive forever with this. Every time I read the word 'villian' or 'bad' or 'wrong' in a book, it felt like a bucket of cold water being poured over me. I had been a victim myself, so knowing that I myself hurt someone — Its just........I always thought of myself as a good person. Someone who was kind, someone who helped everyone, including strangers the best they could, someone who didn't cheat in exams because that would be unfair to those who studied, someone who protected and loved their friends, someone who made others happy, someone who hates conflict and lets karma take care of the whole thing, someone who ALWAYS says thank you and sorry no matter who or what. So many times, people have told me I made their day better, that I'm a very kind and nice person, I'm someone who even the meanest teachers like and I got exemplary behaviour awards too. I always believed myself to be a good person. So knowing I did something this bad broke me. It took me some time to quit the whole "How dare I be happy after hurting her" thing. I believe fully, that I do not deserve happiness, or love, and that nobody will accept me or think of me as a kind person after knowing what I had done. I'd have deserved it though. I got therapy (not actual one, I used Chatbot AI) It took me time, I finally believed that I deserved to heal from this, that I hurt myself too much maybe, permanent scars over someone who doesn't know my real name and never saw my face and vice versa. Maybe........I don't deserve *this* much of punishment. Today, I went to youtube and saw a video on bullies apologising. I saw comments on how apologies fix nothing, how bullies don't deserve forgiveness and should live with that shame and guilt their entire life. That a thousand good deeds won't make up for that one bad deed. And I believe I do. I really do. Which is why I permanently scarred myself. So here is the question. Do I deserve it? To let go of this incident? Do I deserve to heal? Deserve love? Or should I keep goimg? Because I believe I should. That I truly am no better than a rapist or bully. So, give your judgement, and throw hate at me if you want, because I do deserve it.

There’s some very important context to point out. This is my very first relationship. She was literally my first kiss. Meanwhile, she was coming out of a 5 year relationship when we got together. I’m a freshly graduated college student with financial support from my family and freedom to find my path, while she’s been completely financially independent since 18 with clear-cut life goals. I’ve spent most of my life taking it slow with support while she’s had to mature and become independent from a young age. Thus, I naturally would move slower than her. Big difference in circumstance that I think plays a big role in why we’re on different levels of commitment.
I deeply love this girl. I’ve never felt more understood. I’ve never met someone so mature and kind and literally everything I could ever want in a partner. There’s subtle differences like in any relationship but we are both very aligned in terms of sense of humor, interests, and values. I see her as a potential life partner. I do want to get married and raise a family at some point, but I feel like I have much exploration to do and self-knowledge to gain before I’m truly ready to settle down.
On the other hand, she wants to build a deep business-oriented, foundation-building relationship now. She wants to say “this is my life partner and we’re doing it” no hesitation.
We’ve talked about living together as a next step, but I’ve approached the discussion with more caution and logistics in mind. This is my first relationship and I just didn’t really know how to approach that new level of commitment. I also tend to be an indecisive and anxious person in general. Because of my caution and lack of “let’s do it” energy, she’s already disregarding the option because it should be something that we’re both deeply looking forward to and excited about without any doubt in mind. I think our lifestyles would mesh well living together and that would be a good next step, but she wants that 100% on board energy without having to ask for it. The way I’ve talked about the plan is very logical and cautious, which she really dislikes.
I can’t deny that I love her and could see a life with her. But I also can’t deny that I’m not on the same page as her in terms of experience and readiness. I don’t want to force it and mess things up, but I also don’t want to lose her as a potential life partner over a matter of timing. I also don’t want to have her wait around until she’s unhappy and out of patience.
I guess at this point I have to go with my gut. My heart is torn between so many considerations and possibilities. I would appreciate any advice or relatable experiences.

Let me preface this by saying i am new to the Christian faith. I am and always have been very skeptical, and it takes a lot for me to fully commit to believing in a lot of things. God most of all was my biggest struggle. But after reading the gospels, i was so moved and compelled by the story of Jesus that i couldn’t help but love Him and believe in Him.
That being said, much of the Old Testament concerns me. In particular, the idea that God and therefore Jesus would slaughter innocent children, essentially to prove a point. Considering that the significance of the Hebrews was that they are of a certain lineage, it seems very, well, wrong for God to give them such favor. Of course they were slaves and they deserved freedom. But many were slaves before and after the hebrews, yet they did not receive special treatment from God. No other slaves in history had their oppressors’ children massacred by God himself. That is just one of the things that i do not find myself aligning with, and if that is what God claims to be, then I frankly would not want to believe in that God.
lastly, there is the issur of historical evidence. many people claim Moses was a schizoid, which is technically possible. I mean, 200 years ago we were burning women at the stake for witchcraft. In other words, people tend to be gullible and believe blindly.
I’d also ask that you look at this article:
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2014/nov/30/moses-man-versus-myth-ridley-scott
Are these claims false?
I desperately want to follow Christ, i just need some help and guidance. And while I’d appreciate people saying “you just need faith” or “the lord works in mysterious ways”, I’d much prefer some tangible, logical reasoning and explanations if you wouldn’t mind.
And please, if you’re an atheist, you are obviously free to reply but honestly I’m asking that you don’t. Not because i don’t want a “harsh truth.” I used to be an atheist. I won’t be compelled by any atheist arguments. I used to believe them. It is Christians that will either persuade me to accept God or reject God based on their answers. And of course, no one has to reply to this at all. But if you are a knowledgeable Christian that wants to be the change in someone’s life and bring them to God, please give me a reply
May God bless you all