Alise of money talks

So I (F27) met a guy (M32) who lives in Cornwall (family friend) and I live about 6 hours away. I met him in September for the first time and there was an instant click between us and I stayed round his one of the last nights of my holiday and I did catch feelings. He was only a couple months out of a very long term relationship so I knew he wasn’t really ready for anything and 2 weeks after I left we stopped talking.
Come the new year he started messaging me again, sending me updates on his farm and we FaceTimed, and eventually I went back to Cornwall in April on a family holiday. The whole week I was there we spent together, and he told me he liked me but wasn’t sure where my head had been at this whole time. Anyway we said we would try and make the effort to see each other and speak more, and so far he’s come to see me a week after I left, we’ve FaceTimed or spoke on the phone probably every other night and I’m going back down to see him in 2 weeks time.
To me everything has seemed like he was on the same wavelength as me this time and wants to see if things could work as he has been good with FaceTiming and saying things like meeting my friends so etc.
this was until yesterday, he didn’t reply to me all day so I went on hinge and low and behold he’s made a new hinge profile (which he didn’t have previously). I don’t know how to feel, I messaged asking for a FaceTime and we did and he was acting normal, there was no hints of anything being different. The only thing is he obviously didn’t reply to me all day and then has made a new dating profile.
I don’t know what to do, I really like this guy and I’ve never felt this way about someone before. I’m going down in 2 weeks so how do I bring up where his head is at without coming across intense? It’s a long way and a lot of money for me to go to him so if he isn’t considering anything serious with me I don’t want to spend my time and money visiting him to develop more feelings and getting really badly hurt.
Please help me!! I’m normally an avoidant and would just walk away from this but they say when you know you know and I just feel like we have something between us that I want to explore but I need to know if he feels the same. How do I go about asking this guy when I am in Cornwall what he wants from me?
TL;DR - guy I’m dating made a new dating app profile and I need advice on how to ask him what his feelings are towards me

Me (24M) and my girlfriend (24F) have been together 2 1/2 years now. I lost my job in January and in February was offered by her father to stay with them under the condition I pay $500 rent. Her father is extremely well off making deep into the 8 figures and I agreed. Since moving in in late February, I have applied to nearly 700 jobs with hardly any response. It's completely ridiculous. Well since moving in with them, her mother died of cancer and was doing anything in my power to help the family out in such a difficult time. Her father even cried and thanked me on multiple occasions for all of the help. Since she passed away things have been very different between me and her Father. I figured he was just grieving and needed space but I was always actively ignored. Anytime I would want to talk to him about a job or ask questions I was just met with him getting up and leaving the room. I asked my girlfriend and she did not know why either. Her brother, which I was really close with has been doing the same. This has been going on since March. Finally my girlfriend told me one of the reasons was because he doesn't think I am looking hard enough for jobs. So when I heard that I immediately went to go talk to him about it so I could get this settled, I was actively ignored. A couple of weeks ago I had to go back to my home town because my brother was killed the driveway of our childhood home and have been here since trying to clear out the house because it is on the market and the sale is closing soon. When I went back to go get some of my stuff from my girlfriend's house, I wanted to talk to her father about it and yet again was met with a cold shoulder. Well fast forward to today and my girlfriend called me this morning telling me to make sure to get my plane ticket for the trip now to save money on the tickets. I said okay and immediately went and bought them. A couple hours later she called me back crying saying that I'm no longer invited because her father and brother said "it would not be a relaxing vacation if I was there." I then told her okay whatever. It is there choice if they want me to go or not. Then she told me her brother's girlfriend is going as well as her 2nd brothers friends. Keep in they are all around our age. She is now saying she does not want to go. She then begged me to talk to her dad. I told her I would if he called ME. I told her if he has any respect for me whatsoever he would call me and tell me himself. Her father always told me the importance of communication yet refuses to communicate with me whatsoever. Frankly I am pissed off and just want to say fuck it and plan my own vacation because this is insane. What the hell do I do from here?
TLDR; Girlfriends father doesn't like me and will not communicate why and then uninvites me to the family vacation.

It’s been difficult being a meth addict and drug dealer that didn’t want to get sober at all or stop selling for the last 8 years. Then I lost who I was once the Alcohol and Fentanyl took over.
Eventually, The passing of my wife, the suicide attempts, the violence and hardcore alcoholism to Fentanyl. Being evicted, hated waking up every morning and dope sick everyday. Whole paychecks on drugs. Being homeless wandering the streets trying to steal copper from light poles. Losing jobs after 3 days because I would be sick and couldn’t finish my shift. Realizing my family was mourning me while I was still alive. My rock bottom.
January 27th 2024
My life changed when I found AA. I had just gotten out of Detox 1st time visiting. Left a day early and then the withdrawal symptoms creeped in later that evening. My first meeting I was going through it. I stuck it out and continued going to meetings. I didn’t sleep much or if at all for 3 weeks. Not sure how I did that still.
Lately I struggle every morning to wake up or motivate my dopamine deprived brain. Difficult to navigate life when the reward system up there is fighting against me. My character defects had sometime to develop and hardwire into my personality and subconscious. I would say the things I find most difficult is keeping up with my laundry, thinking too much and negative self talk. Pity party’s that my inner dialogue invite me too..
Simple program? I can make it more difficult.
Having willingness along with rigorous honesty.
Holding myself accountable and having the courage to change certain things about myself helps me. Helping others caring about people. I used to care I thought but I always had an agenda driving that ounce of give a fuck.
Here in the right now that is gone I can love from the heart which I am grateful for. I can now look at my day at night and take a personal inventory of what I could’ve done better. I find that I’m always the problem no matter what anyone does. If I’m angry or upset I think about If I have been self seeking, dishonest and inconsiderate.
How it’s going, I’m onto my second Sponsor. Started going through the Big Book. Planning to go through the Steps again. Got myself into College and I work with one of my fellows. My license was reinstated and I’ve been able to hang my bicycle up finally after 8 years. I am able to pay my bills now and make money legally. My family feels whole again. I have a home group and a service position. I reach out I have grown to love strangers. I have found a higher power of my own understanding. I get to be a Father to my 11yr old son. Admitting the deepest darkest secrets of my past. Being willing to make amends for the harms done. I still struggle every step of the way. I have tools and know that there’s a way better alternative to active addiction. For all of this I’m filled with gratitude today.

So I was supposed to recieve 60,000 from someone for a business transaction, they live in a different state and far way from me, I've never met him, only talked on call. After pressing for a week yesterday he finally sent me the amount on phonepe, I said I did not recieve it so he sent the screenshot of payment with a transaction ID and UTR no. but I did not recieve any money.
I talked to the phonepe customer support, they said my account did not recieve the amount, I asked them can you trace this transaction ID as it is there in the screenshot, they said they cannot do anything with the transaction ID and the sender needs to call the support from their end if money has been deducted from their account and not recieved in yours.
I even contacted my bank but they also said, there's no payment made on my back account.
Yesterday when he sent me the money, I instantly complained about it not showing in my account, to which he claimed that he doesn't know what's up, he has sent it from his end.
He isn't picking up my call or answering texts post that from yesterday.
[ PS - It's the second time he is complaint about he sending money and it not showing up in my account for this same transaction, and I am 95% sure, he sent fake transaction screenshot ]
What should I do ? What are the legal remedies I can seek to sue him or get my money back.

(Long post)
I created this reddit account to let this off my chest and I want to know if I'm okay.
I was born and raised for the first 6 years of my life with my parents, but me and my brothers moved to another country and my dad said that he will catch up to us and travel soon to live with us "soon"
Soon turned into 19 years... He never came to us, we kept on video-calling him, he kept sending us money (to me and my brothers and mother) my parents aren't separated, still married, but and I quote: "I have a business here, I cannot just leave everything and come to you"
He didn't have a secret life or anything we know him, we are Muslim and so was he, we don't do such stuff, he didn't cheat on my mom and he was working up to his eyeballs.
I loved him and we all loved him, my mother didn't love him as much because he preferred business over his family where he stayed in one country and we stayed in another...
He died due to heart related problems, doctors told him to do something and he did other things so it's like he wanted to die and he did, it was his own choice to ignore what the doctors advised him to do..
After he died I felt sad and heartbroken, but I did not shed a single tear, the only thing I was worried about is: who will send us money? I'm a student and I don't have a job...
A year later my family dog died, he was 15 years old and we grew up together... The messed up part is... I cried for 7 days, I would be in the shower, bed, standing, sitting.. I'd just punch the wall or my bed and just cry in anger because I couldn't do anything and I loved my dog, he was like my little brother...
I tried to show emotions, I tried to mourn him I tried and overthinking made me go nuts I don't know what is wrong with me... Why did the death of my pet best friend made me ooze up tears and the death of my father didn't hit me like it did with my pet? Am I sick? I was sad yes, but didn't I feel as devastated or depressed when I saw my dad's dead body on a video call, and whenever I thought of him..
I just wanted to let this off my chest and I want to talk to someone but I don't have anyone to talk to.. Thanks for reading

The mental health system is a game. Play their little game to get them off your back. All you have to do is say as little as possible, basically gray rock them like you would with a narcissist and don’t give them anything they can use against you. It’s like talking to a cop. Avoid talking to them if possible but if you have to, tell them as little as possible. Don’t say anything interesting or tell them any intimate details about your life. Keep it boring and simple. Don’t accept any drugs, just say no. These are predators.
They are looking for a weakness to exploit. That’s all that they are about. They are there to “help” you only up until the point where you can be used to dispense drugs to, extract money from or exploit, aka drugs that are effectively actually just torture devices. They are evil sadists who are the real “ableists” preying on those of us who are already rejected in society in some way or part of some type of marginalized personhood or abused by our own families.
These people are the real menaces of society. They are narcissists who are basically just deflecting and projecting their own negative traits onto their victims (I mean “patients”). They paint us like we are the enemy so that they can more easily manipulate everyone into giving them power. If they paint us as an enemy or menace to society then they can more easily justify it to themselves and others what they do to us, even though they are the real enemy in the dynamic. It’s basically organized narcissistic abuse that’s also conveniently legal. It’s effectively legal and sanctioned smear campaigning and abuse, and in some ways, they have even made it illegal for us to possess, own or operate a gun.
They keep the general population on board by bending and omitting truths as well as through harboring ignorance. That’s how they stay in control. This is only one appendage of a larger system. Once you become a critical thinker, you become a threat to the status quo so they have to drug you. That’s their thought process. Once you want to unalive yourself because you no longer want to take part in the rat race, they have to stop you, because if you’re dead then they can no longer exploit you for labor.
The psych system is about stripping liberties from vulnerable individuals. It does this in a very calculated way. It uses the false pretense that these people are here to “help” you or your family, friends and loved ones. They are not. They are here to uphold the system. They are here reinforce inequalities and harmful social constructs. It’s about making you uncomfortable until you give up. It’s about snuffing out your flame.
They are there to perpetuate the status quo. They do not care about you. They care about upholding the system by whatever means necessary, including electrocuting your brain, drugging you, imprisoning you, torturing you, kidnapping you, etc until you beg for mercy. Then, you will be so afraid to go through all of that again that you will become silent and subservient.
The goal is to scare you into submission. I hope you won’t fall for it. The only way to get out of the wards is to be obedient and accept their drugs. You won’t appreciate it later, you will be left feeling coerced and violated because they made you do something against your will in order to buy back what little freedom or rights you had left. You will leave traumatized and scared, which may tempt you to go back to these psychs for “therapy” or help working through your trauma, so that they can then trap and torture you again.
The reality is that there is no actual help out there for mental health. You have to figure it out on your own. These people don’t care about you. They care about keeping the status quo, themselves and money. It’s about silencing the brilliant. It’s literally just an arm of oppression made to keep certain individuals silenced and ignored. They want people to never take you seriously again because you are a threat to expose the ultra wealthy and anyone else with an agenda— which can be your own family or another abusive person/people in your life.
The problem is, people with power often use psychiatry as a way to conveniently gag, shun and gaslight anyone who they see as a threat to their status and psychs just let them do it. They never side with the patient because the patients cannot be trusted as long as someone thinks there is something wrong with their mental clarity and/or one person has more money than the other. It’s not about finding truth or looking for actual concrete evidence of insanity. Nope, they just go off of what the patient or the people in their life have to say.
Not even in a court of law would this make sense unless it’s mental health court, because you see, psychs have corrupted the legal system as well. He said she said cases rarely get any kind of legal traction. They may not even be given a police report, but in the mental health world, you can get a person committed on a 72 hour psych hold with nothing to show for it but your word.

So I (F27) met a guy (M32) who lives in Cornwall (family friend) and I live about 6 hours away. I met him in September for the first time and there was an instant click between us and I stayed round his one of the last nights of my holiday and I did catch feelings. He was only a couple months out of a very long term relationship so I knew he wasn’t really ready for anything and 2 weeks after I left we stopped talking.
Come the new year he started messaging me again, sending me updates on his farm and we FaceTimed, and eventually I went back to Cornwall in April on a family holiday. The whole week I was there we spent together, and he told me he liked me but wasn’t sure where my head had been at this whole time. Anyway we said we would try and make the effort to see each other and speak more, and so far he’s come to see me a week after I left, we’ve FaceTimed or spoke on the phone probably every other night and I’m going back down to see him in 2 weeks time.
To me everything has seemed like he was on the same wavelength as me this time and wants to see if things could work as he has been good with FaceTiming and saying things like meeting my friends so etc.
this was until yesterday, he didn’t reply to me all day so I went on hinge and low and behold he’s made a new hinge profile (which he didn’t have previously). I don’t know how to feel, I messaged asking for a FaceTime and we did and he was acting normal, there was no hints of anything being different. The only thing is he obviously didn’t reply to me all day and then has made a new dating profile.
I don’t know what to do, I really like this guy and I’ve never felt this way about someone before. I’m going down in 2 weeks so how do I bring up where his head is at without coming across intense? It’s a long way and a lot of money for me to go to him so if he isn’t considering anything serious with me I don’t want to spend my time and money visiting him to develop more feelings and getting really badly hurt.
Please help me!! I’m normally an avoidant and would just walk away from this but they say when you know you know and I just feel like we have something between us that I want to explore but I need to know if he feels the same. How do I go about asking this guy when I am in Cornwall what he wants from me?
TL;DR - guy I’m dating made a new dating app profile and I need advice on how to ask him what his feelings are towards me

I have two Etsy stores, one is a handmade store that gives me a decent income, one is a supply store that used to be a good income but I've really, really neglected because my other store has taken priority. Basically as I grew my handmade store I opened wholesale accounts, and I used those wholesale accounts to also buy supplies to sell in my supply store.
I started my handmade store because I was already making items on commission in my community, and I needed an easy way to handle communications and sales. Since the end of 2017 I've grown year on year, and I'm now at the stage where I'm considering reducing my hours in my day job because I really would like more of a social life!
I wanted to post to talk about my experiences between the two shops.
My handmade store sells to a niche community of probably about ten thousand people in the UK. Some gurus will tell you that's too small to base a business on, but honestly it isn't. If you can discover a niche with an engaged community who all want to spend (decent) money on their hobby then it's more than possible. I am also a part of that community, and I can regularly be found being a part of the hobby (not just attending events to sell to participants).
In six or so years, and around 600 packages sent Royal Mail, I've had one parcel be reported missing in my handmade store. That was an international sale to Belgium.
By contrast my supply shop I've sent out about 550 packages by Royal Mail in three years. My supply shop is a much broader niche (it's a fabric store). I don't know my community, I'm just another face in a vast global hobby. I regularly have people report that their package hasn't arrived. I use the same packaging, the same labels, the same Royal Mail services, the same Post Office as my other business. The only difference is that I am in my community as a handmade seller, but not as a supply seller.
The marketing is different too.
For my handmade store I post sporadically on Instagram. That's basically my entire marketing strategy. But my community do my marketing for me. They tell each other about the amazing thing they bought, they show it off, they post pictures about it, they recommend me on Facebook posts. They come back too - a chunk of my buyers come back to me at least once a year. Often they order one thing, and then come back with a group order for ten or twenty more.
By contrast, I made good sales in my supply store when I was actively marketing my products. I spent a lot of time learning about social media marketing and how best to do it for my business. It was labour intensive. Nobody was referring me to their friends. Nobody was talking about me online. On top of that, the profit margins were low and it all just barely felt worth it.
Anyway, I'm not dissing supply stores, or POD, or anything like that. I'm just saying that if you're trying to work out your niche then maybe look at your own communities that you're in first. If you have a great product that your community wants, they'll do most of the hard (and boring) work for you.

Perhaps it's quite different than most people here, but I never wanted anything to do with the church. As a kid, I aspired to stop attending church ASAP, if only because I have ADHD and really didn't vibe with sitting still for hours listening to the most boring stuff. However, when I was about 10, I was in Sunday school and we were talking about Abraham and Isaac and (nevermind the many many things wrong with that story) it was just then that I realized that the people around me thought that the things in the Bible were things that happened in the past, not just stories. I don't know why it took me a decade to realize it. So that harshed my vibe with the church.
Another thing that really pissed me off with the church is how it was never, ever mentioned that JS was a polygamist, or perhaps even said that it's not true that he was. So one day, in history class in school, one small paragraph in the textbooks mentioned Mormons and polygamy and I made a complete dumbass of myself by objecting and saying it's not true that Mormons had multiple wives because obviously that would have come up in church. So embarrassing and assinine. Having to learn basic things about my church from school and never learning it from the church also really harshed my vibe.
At the end of the day, I think my being bi and trans and the church making me want to kill myself every Sunday and even on Saturday nights knowing I have to go to church the next day is what made me not just leave the church the day I turned 18 but also hate the church. I wish I had the guts to leave the day I was old enough to talk but I waited until I was 18 to stand up for myself.
It wasn't until I was 14 or 15 (when I turned against the church) that I started finding out a million things wrong with the church, ie child prophets marrying children (and probably sleeping with them), Joseph Smith definitely having slept with at least one, cows and wheels and horses or whatever not existing in the Americas as the BoM claims, etc. (side note: the Incans did have toys with wheels I think, but no actual life size carts, and horses were in the Americas like 10000 years ago but not 2000 like the BoM claims)
So yeah, I never see people here talk about not really believing in the first place, it's usually having their shelf broken in their twenties because the church is making poor people give them money while hoarding hundreds of billions or because polygamy happened.

So I (29F) have been with my partner (30M) for a little over 4 years. You know the honeymoon phase? It lasted a lot longer than usual. I feel really comfortable with him, and can’t see myself with anyone else.
Here comes 2022, the intimacy starts to decline. 2023 rolls around and we haven’t had sex in a year. He won’t even make out with me like he used to. I’m sober, he’s not. He drinks and does other things (coke) on the weekends. He’s also on an SSRI (for anxiety). At the beginning of our lack of sex, I chalked it up to that.
Fast forward to this year. I keep bugging him about sex. I want it. I’m sober, I don’t have too many things to pour my energy into, and I have needs. I asked if he could just make out with me like he used to, but he said something along the lines of “that’s childish”. Whatever. He says he’ll have sex with me, but when the opportunity rises he’s “too tired” or “so stoned”.
He did crack a couple weeks ago, but I was doing the work since he jacked up his leg, so it felt very one sided. (I like effort). He also said he wasn’t a fan of the peach hairs on my bottom which made me really insecure, so I shaved them.
I tried to snuggle up on him this past Sunday, but I got the same tired excuse.
Here I am today/tonight. I peeped through his phone and saw he’s been looking at porn. 3 days after us having sex. Here are some dates (I want to know if this is an excessive amount) 4/24 4/28 4/29 5/1 5/4 5/8 5/12 And literally this afternoon while he was at work.
I’m feeling very low. And he was sleeping, but I nudged him awake to mention it (bad choice I know). He said I’m “being a baby” and I’m “weird for waking him up for that”.
I really feel like he’s just with me because he feels bad. We live together in his family’s house. I don’t really have anything to my name except a job.
It also feels like he tries to leverage things with money. His grandma gave me her old car. He got me a lawyer for an old case. He paid for emergency dental surgery when I had an infection, etc. so I know he cares about me a little. (Or maybe he’s doing this to prove he’s a “nice guy”).
Eveytime I talk about the sex thing he says “look at the bigger picture, sex isn’t everything” or “I see a future with you”.
But I have a feeling he’s not at all attracted to me anymore.
TL:DR my boyfriend won’t have sex with me. He watches p0rn instead.

Now being 18, I am excited to dive into the world of investing. I have had my eye on investing in the S&P 500 for quite some time now, and I think it is finally time to start dollar-cost averaging into it. I can afford to do this as I am going to uni locally and have practically no expenses.
I have heard good things about sharesies, but I am curious as to its long-term investing values. I did see a post a long time ago talking about their fees regarding large sums of money. This makes me wonder if I should be using sharesies for extremely long term investments as there could be a better alternative used by us Kiwis.
Questions Is sharesies okay for long-term investments with large sums of money? If not, why and what do you use as an alternative?

I'm not sure if incels are a very outlandish concept here in SG. I'm not proud of being an incel and I never thought that I would become one. However, I do believe that one day I will get past this phase.
For context, I think I have it slightly better than most incels. I'd say my face looks below average, but I'm a lot taller than the average guy in SG, slightly above 190cm, am decently well built since I've been hitting the gym for over a year, am financially stable thanks to my savings, side income and family background.
So you must be thinking: I have everything a 23 year old could want in life. I ORDed around a month ago, I'm currently taking a few months to consider my future job and am figuring out how to expand my side businesses that I've been running for awhile. I'm free, I drive a nice Porsche (Dads 3rd vehicle so it's not mine), have money to do and buy whatever I please, am genetically advantaged in height and body build. Why would I become an incel?
I don't have any friends due to my lack of self confidence, which stems from being bullied in Secondary school. I'd consider myself to be introverted. Every guy my age is going to uni, where they get to make many new friends, experience the hall/uni life, talk to other girls. If not, almost every guy has a friend group that has a girl inside. Even if they don't, one of the friend in the group would have a friend that is a girl, and through him you'd be able to have mutuals etc. I have close to zero exposure with the outside world. It's not that I don't want to go out, it's that I don't have reason to. The only times I go out are to gym, have supper alone, pump petrol. I am on 3 different dating apps, at one point 5. I'll get to that in a second.
You know sometimes you see someone attractive, you'd glace at them? Throughout my life, even up till now, I've never caught a girl giving me attention. Which leads me to the incel mindset.
Think about it. I've seen girls on social media and in public sometimes. Most of them date guys that are either super handsome with thick eyebrows, tall and huge, clear skin, good fashion sense. You do occasionally see some girls date guys that are average or even below average looking, but the harsh truth is that the girls themselves aren't very attractive. I know I'm a hypocrite.
Girls don't want guys that treat them well or give them attention. For some reason, girls only like guys that don't know that they exist or treat them like trash. If an average looking guy kept giving a girl attention and tried chasing her, do you really think she'd fall for him if there's a good looking guy that she likes but doesn't like her back? In SG, girls can choose whoever they want, I don't know why. Guys will fall for you if you're even remotely attractive and if you spend enough time with him. Chances are, and a girl uses this to her advantage, the better looking guy will fall for her if she gives him attention. So she chooses to friendzone the average looking guy and take a chance at dating the better looking guy, because she knows that there is a high chance that he'd start to fall for her.
There's this saying where 80% of girls go for the top 10% of men. I am not in that 10% because of my trash social skills with girls and average/below average face. I've been on dating apps for 3 years, and at this point I'm done with them. At first, I'd slowly swipe the girls and consider if she's really my type. But now I just spam like because the girls that I like don't like me back. I get like 1 match every 2 weeks, even being on multiple dating apps. Skill issue? Do you really think she'd swipe on me when there are better looking guys on the apps? And the fucking shittiest part is when I match with a girl that i'm interested in, I send the first message (because in sg thats how its supposed to be), and then the next morning i wake up she unmatches. In the 3 years I've been on dating apps I've gone on 0 dates. I had 2 conversations with girls that I was interested in. only for 1 to ghost me and for the other to unmatch me.
This is what I deduce from my experience with girls on dating apps and my ex. I'm financially stable, I'm tall, I'm well built. Yet I'm unable to get the attention of a girl. This is because of my face and my awkwardness/lack of ability to speak to girls because I don't have much experience. If I were good looking, the second part wouldn't matter because the girl would be the one trying to carry on the conversation. Because of this mindset, I've slowly started to resent girls because of their mindsets. Whenever I'd see a girl at my gym/in public, I start to feel a sense of hatred and sadness. I can't explain why. I don't think I'd make a bad boyfriend. All I want is to start a family and my girlfriend and I work together to build our family and our own home. But I don't have the chance, no girl would want to even give me a chance because I'm not handsome.
TLDR: Height/muscles/mannerisms don't matter, as long as your face looks good you're set.
I know this post is going to get a lot of hate. I'm not posting this so that I'd get pity. I just wanted to share my experiences. I'd love to hear your opinions.

So I (29F) have been with my partner (30M) for a little over 4 years. You know the honeymoon phase? It lasted a lot longer than usual. I feel really comfortable with him, and can’t see myself with anyone else.
Here comes 2022, the intimacy starts to decline. 2023 rolls around and we haven’t had sex in a year. He won’t even make out with me like he used to. I’m sober, he’s not. He drinks and does other things (coke) on the weekends. He’s also on an SSRI (for anxiety). At the beginning of our lack of sex, I chalked it up to that.
Fast forward to this year. I keep bugging him about sex. I want it. I’m sober, I don’t have too many things to pour my energy into, and I have needs. I asked if he could just make out with me like he used to, but he said something along the lines of “that’s childish”. Whatever. He says he’ll have sex with me, but when the opportunity rises he’s “too tired” or “so stoned”.
He did crack a couple weeks ago, but I was doing the work since he jacked up his leg, so it felt very one sided. (I like effort). He also said he wasn’t a fan of the peach hairs on my bottom which made me really insecure, so I shaved them.
I tried to snuggle up on him this past Sunday, but I got the same tired excuse.
Here I am today/tonight. I peeped through his phone and saw he’s been looking at porn. 3 days after us having sex. Here are some dates (I want to know if this is an excessive amount) 4/24 4/28 4/29 5/1 5/4 5/8 5/12 And literally this afternoon while he was at work.
I’m feeling very low. And he was sleeping, but I nudged him awake to mention it (bad choice I know). He said I’m “being a baby” and I’m “weird for waking him up for that”.
I really feel like he’s just with me because he feels bad. We live together in his family’s house. I don’t really have anything to my name except a job.
It also feels like he tries to leverage things with money. His grandma gave me her old car. He got me a lawyer for an old case. He paid for emergency dental surgery when I had an infection, etc. so I know he cares about me a little. (Or maybe he’s doing this to prove he’s a “nice guy”).
Eveytime I talk about the sex thing he says “look at the bigger picture, sex isn’t everything” or “I see a future with you”.
But I have a feeling he’s not at all attracted to me anymore.
Sorry for the novel.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/be-careful-with-your-face/id354082588?i=1000655520329
I had to listen to almost the whole thing. FF was not my friend this time around. I welcome death now. At least my NSW zoom call enabled me to only half listen to this horseshit...
They start the show about getting treatment for face wrinkles
9:32 - They moved on Friday
9:54 - Adam says don't hire movers (in the past) we have my guys. She complains about her and Olga moving a couch in the past. That Adam's guys more or less did it for them.
da'hop's comment: imagine you work for Adam. Ok guys, today you are moving my family from here to here. We haven't packed. Hop to it and do whatever my idiot wife tells you to do. I'm too busy (and you are retards) to supervise
10:40 she talks about how Ace wouldn't hire movers.
11:12 - she hires 3 guys, but wants 4. Some guys (friends? Reberto and Alvero {sp?}) move her condo stuff to her new rental. She said she needed 6 guys, because it took them all day to load the truck. This dingbat claims she didn't have much to move. They worked 9a to 9p, got the stuff into the truck at 5:36. She told them to not unpack.
da'hop's comment: So, it sounds like a normal move. I guess she didn't understand that the movers are hourly and they most likely expected the $$$ for the unpacking at her new place. She didn't do normal human empathic stuff for the movers like buying a shit ton of pizza and soda and water for them...How can she be this old and have never dealt with movers before?
13:30 - Friday was unpacking and OH NO she has to get rid of the boxes. Saturday - Olga sends somebody over.
da'hop's comment: I guess Olga is still around? But, my feeling is not full-time and she threw a help me life to Olga. Kind of abusive
14:35 - All day Saturday setting up the kids' bedrooms.
15:30 - Mother's Day she unpacked. And went to bed at 1a.
16:07 - AV Ed setup the tech stuff on Friday and this was difficult for her to schedule.
da'hop's comment: This one bugs me. Ed is Adam's. My dear go spread your wings and get a new rolodex
17:30 - AC talk. Kids run hot and she is cold.
18:50 - Only Sonny's bathroom has a TP holder
19:35 - They order sushi in for Mother's Day dinner
20 - sitting on outdoor stuff in the living room to watch TV. She will rent the condo.
21:10 - AirBnB is too much work for her
21:35 - She rented it to Olga. What?
da'hop's comment: This I don't understand. They are rich and they had their nanny pay them to rent her condo? What? That is just taxing Olga and super shitty. Just let her and her daughter live there for free, you cheap fucking fucks
24:31 - New owners took the house on 5-15-24. 31 day escrow, was quick to her.
da'hop's comment: She is so dumb. She didn't understand that appliances stay with the house. 31 day closing is pretty normal in this day and age. Most houses aren't sold less all of the $ ducks are in a row. There was some comment about she will have a cleaner come over and she needs to walk around to make sure nothing got left.
24:58 - She got Phil. The daughter isn't a huge fan, but she was happy to see him. The dog stuff is nice. She has real grass and Phil liked that. It almost made me not hate her. But, she complains about his fur getting everywhere. News flash, he is a fucking dog. Get him groomed.
28 - SWT says vacuuming is her least favorite. Lynette says she doesn't mind it. SWT corrects the dingbat and says, "No it is her least favorite". Wow, she is dumb.
29:21 - she has to do dark-colored bedding because Phil gets on the bed. IDK, train the fucking dog? If you don't like that.
37 - Lynette does not understand Poki
41 - Calen says https://www.sushirex.com/ is right by her new place and she should try a sushi burrito since a poki bowl isn't something she can wrap her mind around. These appear to just be XXL sushi rolls.
45:20 - She is put out that the movers wrapped her stuff in moving paper. She moved stuff that she will throw away.
da'hop's comment: I can't even. THIS IS A NORMAL MOVE! Adam must have sheltered her so fucking much. I have a ton of stuff. Books, 40k minis, tools, all kinds of computer stuff,, aka stuff that sucks to move. I'm usually setting up the computers and putting the minis away while they are putting the beds together and putting the kitchen stuff away. Then all of the boxes and stuff gets broken down and put out on the street (and a 'hood message goes out that free boxes are at this address). It is a long day, but moving is a waste of time and money, but at least it is done in one day. She had no concept of this. And, Adam moved her at least 4 or 5 times. Wow, what a life she must have lived.
46:30 - Daughter bought her a mother's day gift and Lynette is confused by the difference between rhinestones and birthstones.
TL;DR - She doesn't understand how movers work. She didn't really let them do their job. Complained about how much work it was for her + Olga + Olga's friend to unpack at the new place. The kids, of course, did jack shit. She won the lotto with Adam.

Hey, I have never made a reddit post, but I just heard some distressing news and I’m honestly distraught. I really need some real advice.
I (22/F) dated this guy Thomas (23/M - fake name) for 4 and a half years. We got together senior year of high school at age 17. Right after graduation his drug addict parents got them evicted (I heard his dad has gone through rehab now). My parents let him move in with us and he lived with me for a year. About 3 months after moving out (August 2020) we went on a break. He said that he needed time to work on himself and figure out his life as an individual taking care of himself. I understood but was really sad.
In October of 2020 we rekindled and started seeing each other again. It was then that our very close friend took his own life. It was very sad and we heavily leaned on each other through it all. We were hanging out all the time and sleeping together once a week or more. This turned into a long term on again, off again thing that honestly ruined my life.
For 2.5 years we did this dance. One of us would reach out, we would reconnect, we would date for a few months and then he would suddenly ghost me. I would be unable to reach him for weeks (sometimes up to 2 months at a time) until he would reach back out and start the cycle again. I honestly held on wayyyy too long because I loved him and thought he loved me too, but was just dealing with a lot of personal emotional issues. He told me all the time that he loved me and only wanted me. Thomas also came from real poverty and was very frugal. He never had money to go out because he was saving. He never took me out. Never bought me stuff or gifts. I understood and was alright with it.
Here comes the problem:
The last time we were “on again” was January 2023 until May 2023. I don’t have exact dates because I deleted our texts. All I know is I have a record of a facetime call on May 9th where we had phone sex. He ghosted me shortly after and I know because he was supposed to come to my college graduation on May 16th, but I hadn’t heard from him in days and gave the ticket to someone else. In August of 2023, some of his mail was delivered to my parent’s house and I dropped it on his porch with no message or interaction with him. On August 14, 2023 he texted me to thank me and wish me a belated happy birthday. On August 15th I got back to him and we chatted for a bit. He called and asked if we could talk about us. I figured the ‘cycle’ was starting again. August 16th I went to his place, we slept together, and he apologized for the way he had been treating me. He promised that he was ready to commit for real and that he wanted to be with me. He ghosted me the next day and I never heard from him again. I have text receipts for some of this.
I found out via a mutual friend that Thomas just reposted an instagram story from his new girlfriend, Sophia (20/F - fake name) where she’s celebrating their one year anniversary. Their date of relationship starting being May 10th, 2023. There’s pics of them all over her instagram- summer picnics, birthday brunch her took her on in late July 2023, extravagant gifts he buys her- EVERYTHING!
It’s seeming likely that he started seeing her last spring when he was seeing me (ghosted me in May when they got together) and then cheated on her with me when we reconnected in August. Now, I don’t know what to do. When they got together she was 19! So young! And she looks so innocent and sweet. I feel disgusting that he likely used me and hurt her. I don’t want to get involved because I want nothing to do with him, and I hate drama. BUT I feel like she deserves to know. Is there a way to do this and tell her without seeming like a jealous or revengeful ex?? I honestly don’t want him. I feel nothing but disgust for him. I just feel SO BAD for her. Do I message her??
I’m unsure because I am obviously really hurt by the whole situation. The relationship was VERY intense, and I don’t know what is me wanting to hurt him versus what is actually the right thing to do!
PLEASE ANY ADVICE WOULD BE HELPFUL!

I talked with a businesswoman based in a South East Asian country, got connected through LinkedIn, and did my due diligence about her, seems like she has founded multiple startups already with a few exits. She also has a tech spec already shared with me, the Figma design, priorities, and MVP feature list, are already covered and documented, she just needs someone to build it. After talking, she offered me a CTO/Co-founder role, basically building an MVP for the product so that we could talk to VCs and get funding. But here are the terms:

• She can't give me a salary at the moment, but will put into writing that I will get a salary once funding is gained, and will also get product revenue (even before funding).
• I'm getting equity (haven't ironed out the details for this, but I'll definitely ask for a fair amount, how much would you suggest?).
• I can work on it on the side, I don't have to leave my current day job (which is a big thing).
• I'll be building it solo at the moment until we get funding.
• Remote work, flexi-time, I can work on it for only a few hours a day.

For context, I have been a Software Engineer based in the Philippines for 5 years already, I'm into startups, and I'm thinking of starting my own one day.
What's in it for me? - I like startups, I've always wanted to start my own. - Potentially high salary after funding (They offered a salary 4x my current salary once we get some funding, of course, I'm fully aware that doesn't mean anything until that actually happens). - Portfolio building, it's a huge learning experience and a massive portfolio boost even if it fails miserably and I get nothing out of it financially. - Connections, even if it doesn't work out, I'll probably get a lot of connections through this experience, and will probably be able to get some more job opportunities in the future.
What's holding me back / my concerns
I'd like to clarify that I do understand that I have to take risks and make sacrifices to be successful, these are just some concerns that crossed my mind, I'm not saying that these things actually make me want to decline the offer, but these are things that I am considering. - I'm getting married soon, I need all the money I can earn. And I have this thought that if I'm doing a side gig, might as well be something that gets me sure money (which I don't know if it's the correct mindset). - Less free time, a bit connected to my previous concern, I'm getting married, and I want to spend as much time with my soon-to-be wife as possible. Although it's flexi-time, I still have less time to spend with my family. - High risk of spending a lot of time and effort on something that potentially will not even have a payout. Kinda contradicts the things I said in the previous section, but still, everyone wants to earn money, lol.
Overall, the only thing I'll be investing in this is time and effort, a lot of time and effort. If you were in my position, would you accept the offer? Thanks.

I had a late start in life with IRL relationships. This is my first real one. Was a virgin before by choice since i was focused on grinding my wealth up and waiting for the "right person" to do things with.
We have been talking on and off for years online and there were always sparks there previously but nothing happened. We first started talking back when i used to be broke and didnt have nuch going on at the time. I was rejected by her initally about 6 years ago, we stopped talking for a few years and eventually just chatted every now and then if she decided to reach out to me. I always had a thing for her but respectfully kept my distance. She has been keeping tabs on my life and knew when I started doing really well for myself the past couple years.
For months prior this year we sparked it up again online, talking everyday wheneve she had a free moment of time and even sleeping on call every night. She seemed quite into me and would make it clear she wanted me or was horny frequently online and would send me hot pics/vids. We met up IRL finally and she did initiate a few times at the start because she knew i was inexperienced. We discovered i had trouble getting fully hard, i suspect it was because of possible porn-induced ED with freq masterbation in my past. This was quite embaraasing but she said it still felt good even tho it was only semi hard. I did also go down on her and i do enjoy that. I promised to just quit watching porn or jerking off altogether which ive stuck to til now.
Despite my problem down there for now, she still really wanted me to ask her out officially which i did. Up around this point i had done a lot of research about foreplay and just trying to learn how to touch her to get the mood going. She seemed to go along with the touching and we did have sex a few more times around this time.
However, ever since we made it "official" it feels like she's much less willing to be touchy or have any sex at all. We had sex a week after making it official. Since then I've had my foreplaytouching rejected and brushed off, she told me on multiple instances she didnt want to be touched when she was trying to sleep so i would try in the mornings and get rejected and eventually she told me she didnt want to be touched when shes sleeping in (she lays in bed for hours in the morning with her eyes closed even if shes mostly awake).
So i stopped trying to make any bold moves after a bunch of rejections. I've waited for things to happen on her terms since she's a bold person and will initiate if she wants it, she is the opposite of shy. I would cuddle with her but would avoid touching as much. It took 3 weeks but she did finally initiate again on her own. The relationship is barely a month old at this point and right before the 3 week dry spell ended i was honestly feeling extremely unwanted/undesired.
I havent been in a relationship before so i really have no idea if this is normal. I lack experience and my advances after we were official were all rejected. About a week ago I just straight asked if she was attracted to me because it felt like we werent doing anything sexually and she said that she was attracted to me and sex wasnt important to her and it's something for special occasions or whatever and that women are complicated. She seemed a little annoyed when i brought this up saying "your demons came out for zero" and made it known she didnt get as much sleep that morning because i brought up that convo while she was laying there (she was awake when i started the convo).
I just dropped it there but honestly it feels important to me because despite my issues it did feel good and i did feel closer with her when we did do it. Because I've also quit jerking off or watching porn since our very first encounters, I've been extremely frustrated since i cant do anything about how horny i may be feeling since my prev solution was to just rub it out. I could probably go every morning and night if it was up to me although i know it's unrealistic to expect.
I love her but i am honestly not sure how to bring this issue up again without making it weird or pressuring her to do something she doesnt want to do. I feel like she lost her attraction to me or faked it and only did it with me after that 3 week dry spell as a chore. A bit after this 3 week period we also had our 1 month anniversary date somewhere nice, we dressed up very well and she even said she was horny when we were there and couldnt wait for later (honestly caught me off guard that she felt anything for me). However we got home... aaaand nothing, she went straight to sleep after going to bed.
It digs into my own insecurities a bit that if she isnt attracted to me, then she might have other reasons for being with me, like that I'm quite well off and could honestly retire at my age with a modest budget. I pay for everything when we go out, I've paid for a ton of fun experiences and outings, even for her friends if we go out with them too. I've probably spent over 20k in the last month or so on theme parks, gifts, hotels, fancy dinners, etc. I even knew she was behind on bills so i sent her 4k straight up to help out. She works 12 hr shifts waiting at a restaurant everyday and is basically in debt. She's had a ton of past relationships and partners so she has a lot of experience. She also used to post a lot on OF for another revenue source but she wouldnt have any partners or anything, it was a solo activity OF from what she described to me. She doesnt currently do OF right now since ive gotten with her.
I stay at her home since i flew in a month ago and take care of the chores when shes out at work all day, walk/feed the dogs, etc. I have put a lot of effort in so i dont know what else I could have done to have the bedroom feel dead in a 1 month relationship. She's also been bringing her large dog to bed everyday and there's honestly not much room for the 3 of us. I told her i cant sleep well with the dog in the bed since im a light sleeper and the dog actively competed with me for space during the night, but nothing has changed. I bought a $100 doggy bed after making it known i really cant sleep at all. She helped pick it out with me. The dog seems to like the bed and uses it throughout the day, but she still brings him to the bed and cuddles the dog to sleep on most nights, so the dog hasnt slept once in it. I swear the dog has gotten more kisses and affection than me lol...
I'm 170 lbs, 6 ft tall, think i look at least above average although my confidence in myself has gone down since this relationship started. I've never once lost my temper, raised my voice, and im extremely gentle with her and try to put her first.
She has one of my cards saved on her Apple Pay and other spending things to make it easier for me to help her. I literally am paying for all her Uber eats like when she's at work. I'm aware that the money bit may sound alarming to a lot of people but i can afford it and i literally do not mind taking care of someone i love if it means that i also feel loved and wanted... but with how the bedroom is currently going... idk. I feel like she was initiating and reciprocating way more frequently at the start up until I heard from her how she wished i would just ask her out already and it feels like it's dropped off hard since. The relationship is currently 1 month and a week old altho we have talked on and off for 6 years online before meeting up for the first time a month ago.
I really want to make it work. I know this is probably not how a typical relationship looks like but i just want my needs met. I just want to feel wanted by my partner. Shes really the only girl I've really wanted but i cant tell if it just seemed better from a distance online before making things official in person or im a little delusional. I've enjoyed my time with her when we are out and about doing things together. Idk if this is going to work long term, would love some more perspective.
(Also I did recently get Cialis prescribed which should help with bloodflow downstairs, but haven't had any action to try to gage differences with it.)

I want to have children, I want to buy a home, I want to work my job, I want to live healthy, I want to not step on others to make all that happen. It is impossible at this day and age to do all of them, maybe not even half at the same time.
The water we drink is poisoned. Whether it's waste legally dumped from factories making untested chemicals, or from the pipes it flows through or from the containers we drink from, it doesn't seem like you can drink untainted water.
Our food is poisoned. Whether it's the untested chemicals put into it to make it last longer, taste better, become more addictive and become cheaper, or from the chemicals known to cause health issues, sprayed on it to keep bugs off. If we are talking about meat, factory farmed livestock is given plastic to eat, pumped with hormones to grow bigger and faster, and all that's without getting into the torture of their short lives in the dark with no room to move, living in their own excrement.
Our shelter costs more than ever in American history, not just to own, but to borrow. Broken homes are being sold for what more than half the population could afford to "buy." Buy is a loose word because over 3/4ths of Americans live Paycheck to paycheck. We don't have money to "buy" anything. We have to borrow money from institutions that have crashed our economy, in order to hopefully, eventually own one of these broken homes. If you borrow shelter (rent), you are at the mercy of your landlord, almost guaranteed to have the rent go up every year and lose your down payments when you move out. If you refuse to buy or borrow, wherever you stay is likely illegal and the country is working on making it a crime to sleep outside. You will be productive, whether is by "choice" or in prision.
Our environment is poisoned. The air you breathe, the water you swim in, the ground you grow crops in, is it safe? Have you gotten it tested? Sure there are "acceptable" levels of everything, but who is it acceptable to? The people living in it or the people polluting it? Can you go for a swim at your nearest beach without getting tar balls stuck to your clothing or your dogs fur from the multiple offshore oil rigs crowding the sunset view? I can't. Can you swim in the lake or pond nearest to you? I can't. Its prohibited and I cannot find a specific reason, but I'm sure it has something to do with the water cooling the Power plant located there. Somehow the fish have been cleared as acceptable to eat though. If you can't find somewhere to swim, you better find a way to cool down because this summer will be the hottest on record until next summer and so on. You sure you want to live in the hottest parts of the country right now? Will they be habitable in a few years? Will even the poisoned water be available to drink?
Our medical care is so expensive we either don't have it or are so afraid to use it for fear of bankruptcy. Insurance companies are constantly denying payment for basic medical needs and death causing events. Cancer will kill you and if it doesn't, the bill at the end will make you wish you died instead. If you wanted to try and pay for it yourself, the insurance industry has caused even just basic services to sky rocket in price, it's impossible. A 15 minute checkup is $400 out of pocket at the medical office nearest me. That does not include the blood work they send you to a different facility for, or any other xrays, medicine or general care you may need otherwise.
Our jobs are so level locked that if you've got no education, you'll make enough that the government will assist you with some needs like food. Your community has been trained to judge you for it, thinking you're cheating the system because you don't want to work, when in reality it's whichever corporation your working for, actively gaming the system so they can keep their labor costs as cheap as possible. If you've got some education, you're probably living to work. Yeah you only make what minimum wage SHOULD be, but if you work 80 hours every week,, you might be able to pull off a lower middle class life style. With some education, you might even be able to sneak into a 9-5 where you don't have to work as many hours, but you're still not making enough to meet every basic need. If you have higher education, you might be doing alright, or you might be unable to find a job, while stuck in nonexpiring, crippling debt. Maybe you're somewhere in between. And even if you've got a great job... is it safe? Did the shareholders make enough so that there won't be a massive round of layoffs this quarter? Did the right political candidate get elected so the field you work in isn't shut down until the opposite party gets back into power?
Not every American is in this position, there are lucky ones who come from enough money that they'll never know struggle, never know food/wateshelteHealthcare insecurity. But the one thing that is STILL unavoidable, the one thing EVERYONE must participate in is stepping on others to live day to day. Everyday, we interact with, see, touch, feel or use a product that was made with questionable labor, if not outright slave labor and human suffering. From the people mining the basic materials to create products, to the people working the factories that products are produced in, to your neighbor that works at the shipping facilities to get it to you, the whole line is corrupted and meant to squeeze the absolute most out of the workers operating everything. The threat of losing even more of your basic needs keeps you in line, if not threat of physical and emotional torture.
I am only smart enough to see the things that are wrong in the world and recognize that it is unsustainable, but I'm too dumb to solve any of it and convince others to help.
So how do we give up without giving up? How do we get rid of our morals and act like everything is fine? How do we continue on feeling good about the systems we have in place, knowing there is so much suffering involved? How do I make a concious decision to bring another human life into this world, to experience what Im experiencing, but for it to be so much worse by the time they can recognize it? It seems that there is no way to change everything and we are headed towards inevitable collapse, so how the hell do we enjoy the ride that's left? I see people do it everyday. Not doing it is pure depression and I am so exhausted from being depressed.

Hey, I have never made a reddit post, but I just heard some distressing news and I’m honestly distraught. I really need some real advice.
I (22/F) dated this guy Thomas (23/M - fake name) for 4 and a half years. We got together senior year of high school at age 17. Right after graduation his drug addict parents got them evicted (I heard his dad has gone through rehab now). My parents let him move in with us and he lived with me for a year. About 3 months after moving out (August 2020) we went on a break. He said that he needed time to work on himself and figure out his life as an individual taking care of himself. I understood but was really sad.
In October of 2020 we rekindled and started seeing each other again. It was then that our very close friend took his own life. It was very sad and we heavily leaned on each other through it all. We were hanging out all the time and sleeping together once a week or more. This turned into a long term on again, off again thing that honestly ruined my life.
For 2.5 years we did this dance. One of us would reach out, we would reconnect, we would date for a few months and then he would suddenly ghost me. I would be unable to reach him for weeks (sometimes up to 2 months at a time) until he would reach back out and start the cycle again. I honestly held on wayyyy too long because I loved him and thought he loved me too, but was just dealing with a lot of personal emotional issues. He told me all the time that he loved me and only wanted me. Thomas also came from real poverty and was very frugal. He never had money to go out because he was saving. He never took me out. Never bought me stuff or gifts. I understood and was alright with it.
Here comes the problem:
The last time we were “on again” was January 2023 until May 2023. I don’t have exact dates because I deleted our texts. All I know is I have a record of a facetime call on May 9th where we had phone sex. He ghosted me shortly after and I know because he was supposed to come to my college graduation on May 16th, but I hadn’t heard from him in days and gave the ticket to someone else. In August of 2023, some of his mail was delivered to my parent’s house and I dropped it on his porch with no message or interaction with him. On August 14, 2023 he texted me to thank me and wish me a belated happy birthday. On August 15th I got back to him and we chatted for a bit. He called and asked if we could talk about us. I figured the ‘cycle’ was starting again. August 16th I went to his place, we slept together, and he apologized for the way he had been treating me. He promised that he was ready to commit for real and that he wanted to be with me. He ghosted me the next day and I never heard from him again. I have text receipts for some of this.
I found out via a mutual friend that Thomas just reposted an instagram story from his new girlfriend, Sophia (20/F - fake name) where she’s celebrating their one year anniversary. Their date of relationship starting being May 10th, 2023. There’s pics of them all over her instagram- summer picnics, birthday brunch her took her on in late July 2023, extravagant gifts he buys her- EVERYTHING!
It’s seeming likely that he started seeing her last spring when he was seeing me (ghosted me in May when they got together) and then cheated on her with me when we reconnected in August. Now, I don’t know what to do. When they got together she was 19! So young! And she looks so innocent and sweet. I feel disgusting that he likely used me and hurt her. I don’t want to get involved because I want nothing to do with hm, and I hate drama. BUT I feel like she deserves to know. Is there a way to do this and tell her without seeming like a jealous or revengeful ex?? I honestly don’t want him. I feel nothing but disgust for him. I just feel SO BAD for her. Do I message her??
PLEASE ANY ADVICE WOULD BE HELPFUL!

So, I’ve been in college since 2020, 2024-2025 school year will be my 5th year. I had to take on a 5th year because I changed my major during junior year. I was aware my scholarship wouldn’t cover the 5th year but I was mistaken in thinking that financial aid would still help me out, but I’ve been informed that I’ve reached the borrowing limit for dependent students for federal loans and grants, which means I have to pay for school entirely out of pocket this last year.
I am a dependent student but my parents are not in the position to help me financially, my dad and I are not on speaking terms and my mom and I scrape by paycheck to paycheck.(I previously recieved max financial aid but due to the aforementioned borrowing limit I received nothing for this year.) I apply to scholarships like crazy but never hear back, and we work ourselves to the bone but it’s impossible to save up the 10k I need for the fall semester let alone the 20k for the year. I have talked to my school’s financial aid office, talked to several people who know people, written countless scholarship essays and emails and forms to try and get money but haven’t gotten told anything except for the advice to apply for a private loan.
The lowest private loan I have been approved for (with or without a cosigner) is with a 12.85% fixed rate and repayment of $460 a month for the next 5 years which is absolutely not possible for me. I did contact my school about their payment plan but the most they can do for me is split the 20k I owe into 10 monthly payments, which does nothing to help because I cannot get my hands on 2k of “disposable” income a month (I don’t even earn that much in a month)
The only other (extremely financially irresponsible) thing I can think of to do is split the tuition balance amongst a bunch of credit cards so that at least I can keep attending school but then I’ll be right back where I started with the debt.
At this point I feel like I’ve exhausted all my options and I have no choice but to take a leave of absence/drop out, but it’s extremely upsetting and frustrating. Before too long I’ll have to start repaying my federal student loans and that will set me back even further financially paying for a degree I won’t even earn. I’m also finished all of my university coursework, my last year is exclusively student teaching (I’m an early education major) which makes this all the more frustrating as I have a fantastic student teaching placement lined up with one of the top ranked school districts in my state, and now I won’t be able to experience it just because I can’t afford to pay my college for them to make me a glorified unpaid intern.
And yes, I am extremely frustrated with myself for not doing my research when I decided to switch my major, and I am regretting my decision to switch heavily.
If anyone has any suggestions or anything please let me know, but mostly I just needed to rant.

So one of my friends has been wanting me to travel with him for quite sometime and I have always declined going with this friend. Yesterday, he was talking to me and he was asking if I wanted to go on a trip to Seattle next year since one of his classmates is from there. He asked me and kind of begged me to go saying that I have always traveled with my other friends and my parents and that I never traveled with him. I told him nicely that I don't want to do that as I rather save my money so that I can go abroad to find a wife. I'm struggling with the breakup of an ex who hurted me badly and I want to travel to my home country of vietnam so that I can meet some women over there. I have family and relatives who live in Ho Chi Minh City.
My plan is to go over there and meet some women. Whether it is from an matchmaker, a massage parlor or a karaoke bar that specializes in hanging out with vietnamese women. The karaoke bars in ho chi minh city, they send in a whole group of women into your room and you get to pick out who you want to hangout with, it can be up to 5 or 10, depending on your taste or what you want to do. Most of these women are dressed very sexy but also very classy in classic evening gowns that has high side slits that goes up to their thighs. They also wear stripper pleaser heels. Sometimes it is a regular evening gown with a high slit but there are other times where they would be dressed in a beautiful evening gown chinese qipao dress that has super long thigh side slits and I like that one. I love qipaos as I think they're hot. I would pick the ones who are wearing qipao dresses.
My friend claims that I'm an ass and a pervert because I am canceling on him so that I can go abroad and meet women this way. He says that the women that I would meet are very bad ones and that they would most likely use me for my money. I told him that ain't true and that I'm willing to risk it. I'm tired of being alone over here so I want to go over there so that I can hang with some vietnamese women. I want to have some female company or companionship, I'm a straight guy so I want women. I don't get how canceling on him makes me an asshole. Does it really make me an jerk if I were to cancel on him ??