Good bit of US Type and hole fillers. Some better like seated dollars and draped halves. Some lower grade cheapies.
A lot of new stuff, so here’s a table of contents 😂😂😂
Post goes: - Gold

• ASE SLABS (reverse proof)
  
• US TYPE (draped/capped/seated)
  
• Proof sets
  
• Random lots (some paper currency)
  
• Whitman Silver Ingot Book
  
• Premium .999 silver, raw, slabbed, COA, all that variety
  

Chitty chit chat please
PROOF: https://imgur.com/a/v8pkLE5 Proof set proof: https://imgur.com/a/fDS5ZCH
GOLD https://imgur.com/a/J73widt - (2) 2012 1/20oz MS69 Panda - $150 each - 1988 PF69 1/10 AGE - $295 - 1g sunflower argor - $86
SLABBED ASE’S REVERSE PROOF, all are PF/PR69: https://imgur.com/a/ya9Iggz - 2006P RP 20th anniversary- $90 - 2011P RP John Mercanti Signed, 25th anniversary, slight milk/tone - $155 - 2012S RP 75th Anniversary - $65 - 2013 W RP - $65 - 2019 W Enhanced RP /Pride of 2 nations - $95
PROOF OR REGULAR STRIKE: https://imgur.com/a/ikPRfbc - 2002 MS69 - $37 - 2006 W PR69 PROOF, some toning spots - $48 - 2017 MS69 Gold Label - $38 - 2021 T-2 MS70 ANACS American Flag holder - $46
US TYPE BELOW
CENTS https://imgur.com/a/Slm4d5T - 1857 flying cent - $35 - 1858 flying cent - $35 - 1949 D MS66 RD Penny slab - $38 (greysheet is 50)
2 CENT PIECES all priced $5 below AG3 greysheet but are good bit above AG3 https://imgur.com/a/xnuFXQ6 - 1864 large motto - $13 - 1865 - $13 - 1866 - $16 SOLD - 1867 - $14 - 1870 - $18 - 1871 - $20
DIMES
CAPPED DIMES - all low grade other than slab https://imgur.com/a/1qLPxNd - link for slab: https://imgur.com/a/OeOna1n - CAC VF Details 1829 - $105 - 1823 - $55 - 1829 - $22 - 1830 - $22 - 1831 - $22 - 1836 - $22 - 1836 - $22
SEATED DIMES https://imgur.com/a/7a6enxD

• 1872 - $11
• 1876 - $11
• 1876 S (?) - $11
• 1886 - $10
• 1887 - $10
• 1887 - $12

QUARTERS
DRAPED https://imgur.com/a/S9GoTgc - 1806 draped quarter - $160
SEATED https://imgur.com/a/wcvAbwO - 1853 w/ Rays - 28 - 1853 O w/ Rays - 36 - 1861 - 18
HOLE FILLER BARBERS, all are Cull/AG/G https://imgur.com/a/h8LpGSp

• 1903 O - $9
• (2) 1904 - $8
• (3) 1905 - $9

STANDING LIBERTY https://imgur.com/a/w3ZRS1V - 1920 S - $22 - 1926 S - $12 - 1927 S - $40 - 1929 - $10
HALF DOLLARS
Draped Half https://imgur.com/a/pfMHvd1 - 1807 draped Bust Half - confident saying VG obverse and VF reverse - $450 - 1807 Draped Bust Half, obverse is good, decent relief on the stars, but reverse is much better, impressive detail - $330
Sesqui Silver Halves https://imgur.com/a/QMdEwyy - (4) available. 40 each if I pick, 45 if you pick
Capped Bust Half https://imgur.com/a/nEDzel0 - 1810 - $155 - 1817 - $190 - 1822 - $85 - 1832 LL - $70 - 1835 - $105 Seated Half https://imgur.com/a/4hZLRSu

• 1862 S - $70
• 1863 S - $70
• 1864 S (?) - $70
• 1876 CC - $75
• 1877 - $30

BARBER https://imgur.com/a/xt9dgf1 - 1912 VF IMO (visible liberty) - $85 (VF GS is over 100)
DOLLARS
SEATED DOLLAR https://imgur.com/a/vKRAvbI - 1842 Seated Dollar, strong details and beautiful toning - $690
BETTER DATE MORGAN DOLLAR. All priced AG3-G4 unless noted otherwise https://imgur.com/a/A6k6g44 - 1879 O - $30 - 1882 O - $32 - 1883 S - $30 - 1892 O - $30 - 1894 O - $38 (worse of the two) - 1894 O - $42 - 1896 O (cull) - $34 - (2) 1896 O (middle 2) - $36 each - 1896 O (F+) - $40 - 1896 S - $35 - 1896 S (darker patina one) - $45 - 1898 S (better) - $30
PEACE DOLLARS https://imgur.com/a/vjaIC0e - 2 lower condition cheap - both for $51
BUY ALL BELOW SETS FOR A FLAT RATE OF $5 each AND FREE SHIP https://imgur.com/a/fDS5ZCH
Proof Sets - all are $6 each. Some deals here. 1979 (2) 1983 (3) 1984 (2) 1989 (4) 1990 (2) 1991 (2) 1998 (8) 1999 (3) 2000 (5) 2001 (1) 2002
Quarter Proof Set (2) 1999 - $3. Each
Uncirculated Coun Set (P&D) - all are $4.50 each. (5) 1986 - $4.50 (10) 1998 - $4.50 (4) 1990 - $4.50
RANDOM LOTS: https://imgur.com/a/zzOxibI - 3 worn funny backs (1928, x2 1934) - 1860 & 1883 Farthings - $8 for both - 4 hard date walking liberty halves. Some dates are so worn I could barely see with a loupe. 1916, 1916 D, 1916 D, 1917 D Obv - $50 - 5 modern Canadian commem coins (2.50FV) - $8
SILVER BAR BOOK https://imgur.com/a/bpnS4QW - 14 x 1oz silver bars, most run $36+ on the sludge site. Solid condition. Comes in a Whitman Silver Ignot book. Binding is slightly off, but in great working shape. Seen this book sell $100+ on its own - comps are there - 14oz bars and book - $500
PREMIUM .999: https://imgur.com/a/jH53v04 - 5oz ATB Ozark Riverways Burnished in Capsule - $175 - 2018 Australian Emu - $34 - 2002 Perth Year of Horse - $48 - (2) 2016 Maples w/ 4 leaf clover privy, milky - $32 - 1oz Aztec Calendar, light milk - $30 - 1oz 2022 Niue Darth Vader - $32 - 1oz 2023 Samoa Batman - $32 - 1oz Envela Covid Round - $31 - Slum Metals 4.9oz Hand Pour with COA at 28.5/oz - $140 - (4) 2024 1/2oz Perth Dragons - $24 each

• 6g Canada Bottle Cap - $14

RANDOM NEAT STUFF https://imgur.com/a/U0KWu0j - 2018 WWI Centennial Silver dollar with OGP and COA - $40 - Pamp “Burton Morris” Lucky 7’s slot machine silver - $80 - 2024 Fiji 1oz the Vault, neat piece in original holder - $60
STAR TREK SILVER https://imgur.com/a/X7DrKwY - both come with original box, unique light up display case and COA - 2015 Capt Picard PR70 SLAB (glue has come off the box wrapper) - $95 - 2015 Spock RAW - $85
PREMIUM SLABBED COLORIZED SILVER https://imgur.com/a/q0ls7Ln - 2014 1/2oz 2014 Gilt Niue Stork Proof PF69 - $65 - 2017 1/2oz Tuvalu Harp Seal PR70 w/ box and COA - $68
Random Premium Silver; https://imgur.com/a/HawKebu - (2) TD Bank enameled Year of Dog w/ box. Light spot on one - $40 - Highland mint 1oz rounds. W/box and COA: - Drew Bledsoe - $40 - Marshall Faulk - $40 - Jeff Bagwell - $40 - Legacies of freedom set - 2oz total - 2002 Brittania and 2003 ASE - $65
Shipping;
$5 for GA
$9 for priority
$15 for MFRB
Responsibility leaves my hand once usps says “accepted”. Can assure proper packing before drop off, out of my hands after that.
Will ship promptly, most of the time it is next business day, but no later than 2 business days from funds received
Payment methods:
Zelle
Venmo
Cash app

FRIDAY NIGHT at 9PM ET / 6PM PT - EL CHUPACABRAS - ALIEN or SOMETHING ELSE? Join Us For LIVE CHAT Questions & Answers #Chupacabras
Featured in this edition:
The legend of El Chupacabras (translated as 'the goat-suckers) began in about 1992, when Puerto Rican newspapers El Vocero and El Nuevo Dia began reporting the killings of many different types of animals, such as birds, horses, and as its name implies, goats. At the time it was known as El Vampiro de Moca since some of the first killings occurred in the small town of Moca. While at first it was suspected that the killings were done randomly by some members of a satanic cult, eventually these killings spread around the island, and many farms reported loss of animal life. The killings had one pattern in common: each of the animals found dead had two punctured holes around their necks.
Soon after the animal deaths in Puerto Rico, other animal deaths were reported in other countries, such as the Dominican Republic, Argentina, Bolivia, Chile, Colombia, El Salvador, Panama, Peru, Brazil, the United States, and, most notably, Mexico.
Both in Puerto Rico and Mexico, El Chupacabra gained urban legend status. Chupacabra stories began to be released several times in American and Hispanic newscasts across the United States.
The chupacabra is generally treated as a product of mass hysteria, though the animal mutilations are real. Like many cases of such mutilations, however, it's been argued that they are often not as mysterious as they might first appear.
Descriptions of the physical appearance of each specimen can resemble descriptions of other specimens or differ from other descriptions. Although they have different appearances, El Chupacabras are typically 3 feet or taller, they are roughly humanoid in shape as they are bipedal with 2 arms and are described as otherworldly creatures.
So, are El Chupacabras an alien entity, or are they something else? Listen to the accounts and form your opinions.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmLN62vGpnY

Heyo hi!
I've been away from reddit for a little while as I needed to deal with some personal stuff but am once again on the lookout for someone/some people who I can hang with every now and again! I'll jot down my hobbies here and if they resonate/match with yours feel free to drop me a DM! :))
So, here goes:
- Music ~ I play the piano & guitar!, currently learning to sing, still a loooooong way to go though!
- Dance/Fitness ~ I've been trying to get into modern dances like hip hop/street popping styles :D
- Skincare/Fashion ~ Any fashion-fanatics would totally be welcome as I'm trying a big restyle currently, currently working on different hairstyles and outfit designs!! Possibly getting some curly hair into my straight hair soon!
- Video Games ~ I do like to play games every so often, primarily on PC but I do have other consoles too!
- Language Learning ~ Been learning Korean and trying to learn other languages recently too - any tips/guidance or just generic conversations in languages besides English are super welcome
- Cooking/Baking ~ I love baking too, very therapeutic which brings me onto my other hobby:
- Coffee/Drinks ~ I love to make and explore different types of coffee, recently made my own boba tea also :) would looove some tips on how to make my coffees extra creamy!
I do have other hobbies but I'd say the above are probably all my main ones :) I will say though, I am from the UK but my sleep schedule can be pretty scuffed so I'm happy to chat to people from anywhere in the world :)
If anything mentioned takes your interest, drop me a DM and see if we vibe? I do use discord primarily so it's preferred and please be 18+ annd finallyyy, please do not spam me if I don't reply in 15 seconds...!! I will try my best to get back to everyone <3

Hey friends!
Looks like the deck building card battle (20 card decks) won yesterday. Thank you for participating in the vote.
Because this is the first group game, it will be very casual, as this will all be done on Reddit. I'll enable our chat to help out, but I'll need your help to keep people from abusing it. For the future, I want to have a discord server where we can interact better, but that's a slow process for me (anyone with experience please DM me).
I'll start out by really introducing myself; I'm Magnus, a game designer in Vancouver, Canada. My company, BRB Games, has been a subsidiary of a large game company, and my employees and I primarily designed games for ages 3-12. I have worked on a few other projects as a consultant, mainly doing logic, core design, testing, etc. In November we found out cutbacks were incoming. Due to a tight contract, I've had a second job the last few years as a lead robotics designer (among other hats) to cover my costs, plus top-up my own employees at BRB. I was often doing 16 hour days, juggling way too much, ontop of a 3 hour commute if I even went home. We all talked and closure was the best choice. Most of my employees were picked up right away, or transitioned into the parent company, and in April, my last person got a fantastic job remotely for an Australian company as a junior designer. I gave my notice with my employer and that brings me to here and now. I have time to actually go to conventions again, I'll be teaching 4 classes a month in person, I'm interning a highschool student in game design from California currently, a volunteer math tutor, and I feel I can finally help everyone in boardgamedesign. I want build this community back up, the best it's ever been. When it closed due to the Reddit protest, we lost 80,000 subs. I became the mod after 2 attempts (and a long talk with Reddit admins). Honestly, this calling in life fulfills me, and if I can pass on anything to you, or help get your game noticed and sold, I'm more than happy to. Long intro short, I'm here to help, so feel free to ask me anything and if I don't know the answer (happens a lot), we can find out!
Also, thanks to our mods u/bgg-uglywalrus and u/MudkipzLover. Without them, we couldn't do this. Their experience, determination and willingness for anything boardgames is inspirational and a foundation of what we are. Thank you, muchly.
So to get started on the game, I want to focus on the first aspects of proper design:
Card Game: Deck Builder (Boardgamedesign Edition)
1 - Main Objective (DEVELOPMENT STAGE)

• Design an engaging card game battle experience with deck building mechanics.
• Defeat opponents deck by reducing Heath to zero
• OR Creating a lock out condition.

2 - Card Types:

• Character cards, artifact cards, condition cards
• (Group Defined)

3 - Resource System:

• Cards are played from hand as defined per card.
• Cards are activated using resources (?)
• Cards are activated with combining each cards defined resource value(?)
• (Group Defined Input)

4 - Deck Construction

• 20 Cards per deck hard limit
• Players construct a deck using individual preset decks of 20 cards.
• Players share a pool of universal condition cards (?)

5 - Card and Deck Abilities, Conditions, Effects

• (Group Defined)

6 - Game Mechanisms • Setup - (layout as we define structure)

• Shuffle Determine turn order Draw (x) cards to hand (?)
• First turn rules (no attacks, activations?)
• Turn Structure and Phases Draw Playing Activating Resolving Player Universal Actions Resolving Turn

7 - Combat Logistics

• Activation
• Checks
• Blocks
• Damage Dealt
• Conditions (Weakness, Lasting effects?)
• Interactions
• Resolution

8 - Win Conditions

• Reducing players health to zero
• Defeating all defensive cards (?)
• Creating a zero sum condition (unique mechanic or the gimmick)

9 - Balancing and Maths (ALPHA STAGE)

• Spreadsheet stats analysis (as we go)
• FIRST INTERNAL PLAYTESTING (yay!)
• Recording data sets of all conditions
• Extensive strategy testing

10 - Reworks based on data / feedback

• Group input about what worked, and didn't
• Refine Ruleset
• Card conditions and activation tweaks
• Gameplay change and redesign as needed (you can ALWAYS change your game at any time, this is just a checks and balance dedicated to it)

11 - Closed Public Playtesting (BETA STAGE)
Closed as the artwork isn't finished yet, and play conditions are directly controlled

• Create play sheets for players
• Conditions to try Feedback for a variety of mechanics
• Seek out closed groups (either local, or online)
• Compile data and rework as needed

12 - Art and Theme
It's time to dedicate our resources to visual appeal and player immersion

• Artwork
• Overall game theme Deck theme Character theme Dice, Spinner, token theme (components)
• Player Immersion Game backstory ("Once a year, players...")
• Individual deck story Unique wording and phrases Compelling intrigue dialogue
• Promotional Materials (Unique Art and tone)
• Art testing Compile feedback forms Test for colour visions, dyslexia and other impairments
• Art reworks and touchups

13 - Rulebook Design and Creation
To be fair, the rules will be compiled already, this is the design aspect

• List all game rules and mechanisms
• Startup guide (can be seperate insert)
• Quick references (if complicated)
• Determine phrasing based on thematics
• Artwork and formatting
• Page count Structure and finesse

14 - Production and Distribution

• Decide on platform (Digital or Physical)
• Digital
• Select release program Design phase (Inhouse or hire)
• Testing inhouse
• Testing public
• Feedback Review and reworks
• Physical
• Determine desired materials (Request sample)
• Playtest with physical prototypes (We know certain materials hold up and reuse them to save time, so we only need to heavily test if we are using an unknown vendor, new product or process, or new paints).
• Determine content arrangement
• Choose box size
• Design insert
• Box art creation
• Decide on manufacturer
• Get specifications about batch sizes, weight, and distribution to warehouse / choice location
• Calculate shipping and vendor distribution

15 - Creating your sell sheet

• You'll have the data to do this now.

16 - Public Review Playtesting and Attention
We are able to send out prototypes before this step

• Select choice game stores, boardgame bars, playtesting groups, reviewers, streamers / YouTubers, notable designers, game design companies, publishers, and convention directors (You'll want to have a diaglue about review in exchange for free game or money, both, or return shipping. Also a timeframe!).

17 - Community Engagement
Honestly this should be happening very early. The more people know about your game from an early stage, the more they feel connected. Ask for controlled opinions, and respond to everyone within reasonable limits. Every person and is a potential customer now and in the future, and you are building loyalty to YOU, not the game.

• Forums, Reddit, Online videos, Interviewers, Blogs, Website, Conventions, In person, everywhere!
• Business cards are affordable, grab them
• (More?)

18 - Crowdfunding

• We'll cover this more

Alright, this is my basic design format for board game development I have used for years, created by my father, and updated to be minimal and format more modern approach.
Please feel free to add a comment with the section you'd like to add to. We can respond to those threads for more detail, but EACH comment will be a different design element. Your name will be added to that section and that's your contribution! More than 1 person can be credited for the section, and more than 1 section can be credited because we are all collaborating!
When it comes to the deck creations, keep the art and theme to yourself for now, but list what you want in a deck mechanic.
This document will be updated constantly until we lock it and create the next stage.
If we determine that this projevt comes to a marketable standing (which is not intended, but never say no to glory), contributors will have a few options. Either DM me your real info for credit or your username will be used. I know privacy is a premium on the internet, but I can only credit those that want it. If that means creating a new account to protect your privacy, you'll have to DM the mod team so we can approve you due to low karma automod.
Lastly, anything you contribute to this project is considered the IP of the project as a whole. Credit where credit is due (having your name on a project is a HUGE start for your resume), but please only contribute if you understand that there is no financial incentive, nor compensation of any kind outside of credit. I can't afford to feed you all :)

As i'm typing this my Nmom is blowing up at me again because I didn't text her back fast enough. No matter what truth I tell her for the matter of my "lateness" she doesn't listen and take it well. She still lashes out and it's just so annoying. Everytime she lashes out she says stuff like she doesn't "deserve to be treated" this way as if I'm causing her pain from my . She said "the only thing I ask for is respect and you can’t give that to me.” Respect isn’t given. That’s red flag number one. She had a really screwed up mentality abt being a parent. She believes even if she mistreats her child she desveles respect. Ugh guys my Nmom is an awful person. She only cared about herself. She only bought me that phone to control me. I would’ve been in the situation if she hadn’t purposely sabotaged my payment method when I was buying my first other phone! She bought my old phone with her payment method so she can keep controlling me. Even when I turn 20 she tried to control me and I didn’t care. She’s extremely disrespectful. She’s rude. She’s abusive. She stole money from me. She has a huge entitlement complex! She believes that she could take anything from me because she simply deserves it even when it comes to my own money! She has stole college funds from me for herself. She only cares about herself. She finds excuses to talk to me, which is really annoying because I want nothing to do with her. She doesn’t actually care about me because the only thing she does talk about with me is about herself my ndad ndad. She can never take a accountability. She never does any of her her responsibilities. She’s really lazy. She’s taking advantage of the entire situation of the fact that I’m living with her. Guys if you want another full story just look through my entire profile. I don’t wanna explain anything right now because I’m in the middle of packing my shit!
What do I do? I’m gonna go to my aunt. I’m in no contact with her because she is a flying monkey and an enabler of my narcissistic mother, but I literally have no place to go And my Nmom doesn’t care. She’s butt hurt because she’s not getting what she wants from me which is supply and she gets mad over the most insane things. Since she pays for my phone bill, she is extremely extremely strict about my response time to her, which has to be like 1 ms. So if I don’t text her back within that timeframe, she’s gonna blow up at me and threaten to turn off the phone threatened to take the phone away from me. It gets very exhausting because she keeps threatening and do all these things but never does it because she’s doing it as a control fear tactic, which is toxic So if I don’t text her back within that timeframe, she’s gonna blow up at me and threaten to turn off the phone threaten to take the phone away from me. It gets very exhausting because she keeps threatening and do all these things but never does it because she’s doing it as a control fear tactic, which is toxic initself. So how do I survive the first night?
She knows I have nobody to go to and she’s actually willing to kick me out and make me homeless. I’m in the middle of looking for jobs, signing up for programs and she wants to do this shit. My Nmom is taking advantage of ALOT of things to get attention and supply from me. She doesn’t care about me she’s very mean and only cares about herself. She is going to sell our dog because she knows she won’t take care of him because she doesn’t care about him! She doesn’t like animals, she abuses them like she abuses humans, being me. I’m gonna move into my aunts place and I guess my next step is to find youth housing? My Nmom is extremely controlling and my mental health has declined within the last few years. I’m currently packing my bags.

Heyo hi!
I've been away from reddit for a little while as I needed to deal with some personal stuff but am once again on the lookout for someone/some people who I can hang with every now and again! I'll jot down my hobbies here and if they resonate/match with yours feel free to drop me a DM! :))
So, here goes:
- Music ~ I play the piano & guitar!, currently learning to sing, still a loooooong way to go though!
- Dance/Fitness ~ I've been trying to get into modern dances like hip hop/street popping styles :D
- Skincare/Fashion ~ Any fashion-fanatics would totally be welcome as I'm trying a big restyle currently, currently working on different hairstyles and outfit designs!! Possibly getting some curly hair into my straight hair soon!
- Video Games ~ I do like to play games every so often, primarily on PC but I do have other consoles too!
- Language Learning ~ Been learning Korean and trying to learn other languages recently too - any tips/guidance or just generic conversations in languages besides English are super welcome
- Cooking/Baking ~ I love baking too, very therapeutic which brings me onto my other hobby:
- Coffee/Drinks ~ I love to make and explore different types of coffee, recently made my own boba tea also :) would looove some tips on how to make my coffees extra creamy!
I do have other hobbies but I'd say the above are probably all my main ones :) I will say though, I am from the UK but my sleep schedule can be pretty scuffed so I'm happy to chat to people from anywhere in the world :)
If anything mentioned takes your interest, drop me a DM and see if we vibe? I do use discord primarily so it's preferred and please be 18+ annd finallyyy, please do not spam me if I don't reply in 15 seconds...!! I will try my best to get back to everyone <3

Just needed a place to share what happened yesterday between me and my best friend.
A kind person suggested this sub to share my story and decided to share it here too.
My best friend and I met each other when we were in high school and have been best friends for almost 10 years. She started to ignore my texts starting 1 year ago and when I asked her to go out she always said "I'm busy. No time to go out." I didn't want to lose my friendship with her so I texted her regularly asking how she had been or just sharing about myself.
Yesterday, I just texted her again about something that happened in my life, and replied to me "I don't care" and unfollowed/blocked me from social media that we were connected. I was just confused and shocked as to why she started to act so rude to me and decided to cut me off.
I always celebrate her birthday, give her a present, and go to the parties she invites me to. I always showed how much I love her and how important in my life she is and she always tells me that she cares about me too. I just don't know why she started to hate me and decided to cut me off. I know there is some reason but I cannot even think.
Today, I was able to contact her through IG and asked her why she started to hate me. Her reply was "It's not to be rude but I really don't want to know anything? Like what do you want me to do?? HAHAHA"
I don't know what happened to her in the past year but I was not expecting to receive that type of message from her. I have been feeling down since yesterday but after seeing that message I felt I lost some feelings (as a friend) to her and not wanting to ever see or talk to her anymore.
If you had the same experience as me, please feel free to share your experience!
Thank you for reading my post and have a nice day y'all!

The title may be a little bit cheesy, but I honestly love stargazing and space. Helps that my hometown is also great for some night time viewing.
Anyways! So close to the long weekend here, and I even took some extra days off to give myself a bit of a staycation. No better time to find new people to chat with! A bit about myself to get things going:
* Have my bachelor of commerce, majoring in accounting. So it should be no surprise that I currently work as an accountant. Currently living in interior BC, with hopes that one day I can go to Vancouver.
* History is one of my favourite subject interests. Basically I just want to learn it all, regardless of time period or place. So if you have any good recommendations for well researched and sourced books, please let me know! Another lesser one is geology and paleontology, just really like rocks I guess. Still have my childhood collection.
* Speaking of books, I have loved reading since I was young. Love it so much, I can stay up until 2am getting immersed in my book, which doesn't really help too much with work the next day. Recently I have started to read 30 - 45 minutes before bed to help unwind before I attempt to sleep.
* Gaming is one of my main hobbies to fill my time when the weather isn't nice or I have nothing else to do. Personally I think gaming is best done with friends, so always done to play most things with people. For my solo tastes, I do enjoy RPGs and strategy/simulation type games the most. Basically anything with a good story or that gives me the ability to create ones myself.
* When the weather is nice, and not winter, I love to go hiking and for long walks. Hopefully this upcoming spring and summer will be less smoke filled than last year. Would love to get into photography some day so I can capture all the scenic sights I see. Currently trying to get better at working out consistently, have been pretty good in the past but have fallen through a bit since I've moved.
* Music is a big part of my life, and if my ear isn't taken by something I usually have it playing. I would say my preferred genres tend to be alt and indie rock. That being said, if I enjoy a song I will usually add it to my playlist, and check out the artist and similar songs to see if I can find others I will enjoy. Always love hearing about why a person loves a song, and am more than happy to exchange songs!
* Love to cook and bake, and somewhat decent at it too! Always looking for new recipes to try. Usually I get them down after a few tries, well they are edible at least
* I think I am decently humourous, I am able to make my co-workers and friends laugh quite a bit. Really I just want everyone to have a good time in the end and try my best to make it happen.
* Communication is one of the things I value the most. Would love to find someone who is efficient as well, as I truly believe it is key to growing any sort of relationship.
I can be quite an open book and love talking to people, so if this interests you in all feel free to reach out!

Hey fellow Redditor…How is your week going? I’m a 36 year old male looking to find someone to spark his interests and rekindle each others flames. I’m a down to earth guy, sweet, compassionate and overly caring. Sometimes I care too much to the point I get burnt by it, but all lessons well learned. I’m an outgoing and outdoorsy kind of guy, family oriented and have a great sense of humor.
I’m looking for someone who is super caring, sweet and has a good heart and head on her shoulders. I want someone who has a great sense of humor, can easily talk about her day both the good and bad. Someone who can share ideas, maybe books or tv shows. In terms of looks..I’d ideally like someone of average body type too but not picky.
I’ll leave it here for now and welcome your message. Please tell me a bit about yourself.
Look forward to chatting, M

Hi all, so I'm gonna make this quick. I sort of/partially have feelings for this person. Partially because 1. We've never actually had a decent conversation 2. Im not sure about my feelings either The reason I show interest in this person is because how she treated me. At first I viewed her as in just like everybody normal, in my college there's a lot of pretty girls here and there but I'd say she's cute. So my first interaction with her was because my friend wanted data for a physics experiment, I was in the same class with her and basically I was hesitant and I didn't wanna do it but due to his constant begging, I'm like ok it won't hurt I guess. I didn't wanna do it because I don't wanna talk to girls, last time I talk to one it didn't end well. I never dated, she was just an acquaintance I'd say (past), somehow I'd say something dumb and got pissed off, called me a piece of shit and blocked on wa. This happened twice (this girl and another girl) but I won't go too much in details, in short I was young and basically the way I talk was not respectful. Now I'm more mature but I'm still careful with my words, this all happens in text btw. So yeah I digressed, pretty much intimidated by this girl, grew the guts, went up n talk to her. I asked her for the data and she said yes, kinda thought she was gonna be rude abt it but she was surprisingly really nice, she sent it via phone number n yea I to this day still have her phone number.
My next encounter with her was basically me and my friend (the guy who ask me for the data) were at a university, for like course briefing cuz I wanna take computer science. Somehow she was also in this lecture but with friends?? I didn't think too much nor do I bother much. But surprisingly, she said hi and ask for my name. It took me by surprise to be honest, I've never been great with being social, I've always been alone and invisible towards ppl, by the time I reached to college I completely abandoned my past, so I have no contacts with past highschool mates. The thought of this kinda just took me by surprise that's all. We didn't talk, I should have tried to initiate too, because I could have had the chance to meet new ppl and her friends, but I was very anti social and like I said I only cared about myself, I came from a dark past, so basically I have 0 social skills.
After the briefing, I encountered her again, it was during an English test. Time's up, paper done, I packed my bag and started to leave but she surprisingly approached me again. She was just asking about the paper, like how is this done, this and that. On my way back, I started to see her differently.
Last encounter, not physical, through chat, I was sicked and admitted to the hospital. She was the only person who I knew had the same classes for phys and eng, also I have her hp. I texted her, saying what did I miss, she was very kind about it to provide info. At the moment, I kinda show interest, well is not love at first sight bullshit but just interested, I wanted to know her better.
Present day, it's been few months since we chat, the thought of her kinda graze my mind every now and then. Biggest mistake I made was I should have initiated the conversation more like what do you plan on studying or where course you taking in uni, I thought I could get her to talk to me but I was really shy to converse with her knowing how much I suck at talking to ppl. I only realised this mistake when the new sem started, I should have just ask her out actually, I think she also lived near me according to a conversation I hear with the lecturer and her. Basically, I fucked up. I'm in the same class with her in English only this year, which in itself is lucky considering there's 31 classes and I got to be in that one class with her. But she had a fair share of friends and I couldn't approach her.
Ok, I'm just gonna talk about her abit. The reason I find her hard to approach is because she had a lot of friends, I don't assume I know, I've seen her alot with her friends and basically there was no room for me to interact. I feel like it be too creepy to suddenly text her now, plus I always see with her best friend? So I feel like she's the type of person who doesn't wanna be in a relationship, I don't even know if she has bf or not. I know nothing about her, and trying to know her now would seem to odd and bad timing. Idk about you guys but I feel like she would be creeped out, cuz l'm like a loner in class and also think is just impossible to text her. I won't be seeing her as the semester ends, but is finals so that's the time I see her but again I'd probably won't talk to her cuz again she has a lot of friends so she probably entertain them instead of a loner like me, plus I don't wanna stand out in front multiple people. I was thinking of maybe ask to study together? But two of us is just really weird.. I find it weird too
So what would you guys do in my position? I think is kinda pointless to ask since yk I had the chance I blew it, it took me months to realise I should have initiated the conversation, it doesn't matter if we're dating or not, I just wanna know her and be friends with her, I found myself in a serious of friendship desperation 💀 compared to last year. Feel free to inquire more questions about my situation. Like to see how you guys would go about it, I know I'd said I keep it short but hey wth, might as well go full story mode

Basically the title. I respect a silent diver and enjoy when a squad can silently run through a map but I also enjoy the communication aspect. So I’ve started just leaving my mic on open and say small things like “Nice work B3” , Or complain about how dumb the way I died was or thanking people for respawns. Sometimes you can get others to turn their mic on or start typing in chat and I just think it makes an already fun game a little more so! Just a tip for my other fellow chatty divers
Edit: I do push to mute everyone calm down. I was just thinking it’s an open mic when compared to push to talk

Now, as you may know Nintendo series like Mario and Kirby got TV shows, now this has me wondering, what if Miitopia got a TV show, so for that, I have some ideas for it, so I felt like sharing it with you. So the fan of the games can easily understand the plot. Although most episodes will focus on the cast and their goal to save Miitopia, I'll hope include some episodes that'll help character grow and develop. Character cast: Now my idea for a cast is that I'll follow one of Miitopia's best features, being able to put in any character in the story, now I'll only have one original character, being the protagonist, other that that, all other characters would've already exist, now due to copyright, I'll only cast Nintendo characters to fill the roles , I'll also might include some Pokemon characters since Gamefreak is close to Nintendo and some celebrities [Like youtubers, voice actors, etc] here and there, so if you don't like it my casting or think the Pokemon characters will lead to copyright, you can type your own cast down below. So let the madness and fun begin. The cast: Carefree Guide: Mario Cheery Granny: Gardevoir Sassy Child: Goomba Worried Mother: Indeedee Lovely-Dovey Couple: Ash and Serena Sarcastic Guy: Toad Dubious Mayor: Luigi Dark Lord: Louie Roving Photographer: Koopa Quizmaster: Orbeetle Prodigious Postman: Pelipper Roaming Gourmet: Kirby Serious Soldier: Boo Lax Soldier: Monty Mole Royal Supports: Bandana Dee and Escargoon King: King Dedede Princess: Lana Prince from Neksdor: Bulborb Besmirched Noble's Son: Waddle Dee Great Sage: Aphmau Genie: Spike Dancing Guide: Oricorio Rambling Old Man: Jack Black Shady Merchant Family: Toadette and Garos Worried Explorer: Bowser Prickly Couple: Inkling Boy and Girl Desert Celebrity: Chris Pratt Fab Faries: Peach, Daisy and Rosalina Injured Elf: Yellow Pikmin Fab Fairies fans: Regice, Regirock and Registeel Scaredy-Cat: Torracat Green-Eyed Lady: Zelda Lazybones: Ice Pikmin Mischievous Witch: Meowscarada Town Guide: Blue Pikmin Scholary Pioneer: Donkey Kong Dark Curse: Vanillite The Protangonist: Name: Gideon Description: Gideon is a traveling comedian who although laid back, loves to entertain people and make them smile, he went to Miitopia has it heard it was in a bad shape and he thought it meant that Miitopia needed cheering up, although he has a good heart, being laid-back his laziness limits his capabilities where it often leads to him not doing something at his best. After meeting the guardian spirit, he was given the powers of a mage, in Neksdor when Louie sealed away his powers he became a warrior, and in Realm of the Fey when his powers were sealed away again, he became a thief and when his powers were no longer sealed away, he became a wizard once more. Greenhorne Allies: Mallow: Class: Chef Description: Mallow left Alola soon after hearing about the culinary cuisine of Miitopia so she set off to learn the recipes of Miitopia dishes with her family. Sadly soon after reaching Miitopia, she and her family were attacked by the Dark Lord resulting in her family losing their faces and the ambush caused her and her Tsareena to seperate. Now wanting to save them, she wanders around Miitopia look to save her family Steve [Red Pikmin]: Class: Warrior Description: Steve grew up on a long lost land, and is the best knight in his habitat. He left his natural habitat to find a purpose as he felt like his talents were wasting away, so after hearing Miitopia was in danger, he knew what he had to do, he rose to the challenge and set sail for Miitopia. But his main flaw is that he thinks highly of himself and tries to lift super heavy things on his own with little to no success. Nabbit: Class: Theif Description: The infamous thief of the Mushroom Kingdom was able to steal anything and not get caught, so in his hideout, he read of an amulet that grants insane power to control an army, and after turning on the TV, he soon saw the Dark Lord wearing the same amulet, so he set for Miitopia to retrieve the powerful artifact so he can make monsters to steal anything and is capable of reaching high speeds due to his insane energy. Meloetta: Class: Pop Star Description: During her time in Unova, Meloetta was caught by a kind and caring local singer, and soon after, Meloetta and her trainer were the best singers in Unova dropping amazing albums left and right, they came to Miitopia after receiving an invitation to perform a concert but after landing there and got to the meeting spot, it was a trap set by the Dark Lord to use the Mythical's face to make an extremely powerful monster. But her trainer was able to distract him long enough for him to escape, last thing Meloetta saw was the Dark Lord stealing her trainers faces. Being a kind soul, she often tries to stop quarrels and fights and most of the time she's the voice of reason. Neksdor Allies: Olimar: Class: Scientist Description: Olimar and his family set off for Miitopia after hearing it's excellent vacation spots, but soon after landing there, his family's faces were snagged by his coworker Louie, not wanting to be next, he hid until Louie left, and set off to save his family and stop Louie. Purple Pikmin: Name: Purp Class: Cleric Description: On his home town, Purp was a doctor attending to the injured, but after being accused of stealing a patients skeleton, he quickly lost his medical license, so instead of using medicine to heal his patients, he studied in cleric magic to heal his patients way faster, and he set off for Miitopia with his friend Rocky soon after hearing it had lots of injuries. Despite his divine magic his lack of intellect gets in the way leading to dumb scenarios. Ice Cream Sandwich: Class: Imp Description: While in his house, he hears of a land called Miitopia, where it has an animation contest in Neksdor where whoever wins gets a huge cash prize, so he invited his friends, and dog along and soon set off for Miitopia, where during the time he was there, he had a good time, eating snacks, hanging with the boys, messing around. Until after the competition where the winner was about the being announced, the event is quickly interrupted by the Dark Lord where he starts stealing everyone's faces, him, his dog and his friends went to hide in the bathroom since according to his brain, everyone knocks before entering the bathroom, before anyone said something, the Dark Lord busted in and stole his friends' faces and his dog, after checking if the Dark Lord was gone, he swore vengeance, so went around hoping to find people to help him Rock Pikmin: Name: Rocky Class: Cat Description: On Rocky's natural habitat he owned a cat sanctuary, where he helped felines find forever homes and learned how to fight like a cat, so he after hearing about the exclusive cat breeds on Miitopia, he soon set off with his friend Purp but soon after the Dark Lord stole his cat Terry, him and his friend wanted revenge, but just with Purp's healing magic and his feline abilities, it wouldn't be enough, so the set off for heroes to find so they could help them. Throughout the series, Rocky suffers from an extreme lack of IQ so he needs help when it comes to situations that require intellect to solve. And together with Icecreamsandwich and Purp, the three often do dumb stuff together and get into all sorts of trouble. Realm of the Fey Allies: Tsareena: Class: Princess Description: After soon being seperated from Mallow, Tsareena ended up in Realm of the Fey, lost and not knowing where to go, soon she met up with a potion, thirsty and out of options, she drank it where it granted her the magically abilities of royalty. After meeting up with the protagonist she soon set off with him to reunite with Mallow. Lilligant: Class: Flower Description: After stowing away on a cargo ship from Unova to Miitopia, Lilligant started exploring Miitopia and ended up in Realm of the Fey, so after befriending the local elves, she learnt the ways of harnessing the power of nature and really bonded with them, but after hiding when the Dark Lord attacked, she started to leave and set off to retrieve her friends and quickly met up with the protangonist. Having a gentle soul she sees the good in everyone often leading her to spare monsters. Golurk: Class: Tank Description: After hearing about Miitopia's situation, a bunch of Unova scientist got together and turned a Golurk into a weapon of mass destruction and was quickly shipped to Miitopia, after landing there, he started looking for the Dark Lord, and soon got orders from his creators to wait by a local inn to receive some allies to help him. During battle, Golurk will stop at nothing to defeat his opponents, even if it means firing his allies and shooting everywhere to ensure victory. He thinks he doesn't need help and often refuses assistance believing he can be a big shot and do it himself. Other Allies: Litwick: Class: Vampire Description: Litwick was caught by a vampire on vacation in Unova and the two quickly bonded. While in the land of Peculia, Litwick lived a simple life with his trainer in their mansion and his trainer taught Litwick vampire like abilities, until the Darker Lordsent a rat infestation in there, Litwick's trainer told him to get help to stop the rat invasion, soon he quickly met up with the protagonist and quickly asked him for help and after they agreed, they set off and during the journey Litwick quickly bonded with the team and after the rats were defeated, his trainer noticed his bond with the team and told them that if he wanted to go with them he wouldn't stop him, so Litwick quickly joined the party, and during his time in it, he often pulled pranks on his team and during battle, he likes to mix in fun by toying with his opponents and he calls them, his prey. Alchremie: Class: Elf Description: Alchremie lived in Peculia with a baker and together they made sweets for lotsa people. But after the Darker lord stole her trainer's face, she swore revenge, she went off to realm of the Fey to study the ways of elf magic and after learning the elf magic he returned to Peculia to look for her trainer's face soon after seeing the protagonist and his team struggle against a monster with her trainer's face, she went to the rescue and defeated the boss with ease. After her trainer got his face back Alchremie asked him if she could travel with the team to stop the Darker Lord, and her trainer quickly agreed. After this the team notice that Alchremie is a bit cautious, worries about a lot of things and likes to be ready for everything. Episode ideas: Now a lot of the series would be about the team saving Miitopia, but some episodes would be mainly about character growth and stuff like that. Some episode ideas I have: Lilligant the Shy Flower: After a battle with a strong demon, who made Lilligant worried about everything, it wouldn't wear off even in the safe spot, following a montage of the team trying to return her to normal like Mallow cooking her some magic food, Purp, Icecreamsandwich and Rocky pulling a prank on Olimar to cheer her up, Gideon telling a joke to cheer her up, or Steve just downright slapping her and many others, they figured that nothing could work until when the same demon invaded the inn and almost destroyed her team, Lilligant pushed herself and unleashed a hurricane blowing the demon away. Chaotic Tea Time: In the foreground we can see Lilligant and Tsareena having a tea party and chatting, while in the background Gideon and Golurk try to kill a fiend with all sorts of shenanigans, and the episode keeps switching from foreground to background and it ends with Golurk unleashing a powerful laser boosted with some energy cells Gideon has which ended up leveling half the forest.

Sorry if the grammar or structure of the text is strange, English is not my first language.
{EDIT} Just clarifying a few things: The cousin in question is a step-cousin, just to make it clear, I saw that while reading the text this was not very clear from the get go.
I wanted to start this story by giving a bit of context. Ever since my step-cousin (18F) joined the family when my uncle married her mother, she and I (20M) have become close, even though we only met a few times. We developed a nice connection, watching some movies together, playing RPG with friends, and having interesting and deep conversations about various topics.
Over time, I started noticing that she was acting more "intimate". Back then, I brushed it off, telling myself that this was just her way. However, when I realized that she probably liked me not just as a cousin, it affected me psychologically because I didn't have romantic feelings for her. I've never dated anyone or even had my first kiss, so I felt a bit confused but also received some attention, which helped with my low self-esteem. Now, I can recognize that in myself.
As time went on, we kept dealing with things this way. When situations got a bit strange, I would leave, make an excuse, or find something to do. I subtly let her know that I liked her as a cousin, but I never said it directly.
With that said, let me give more context about the current situation and how it all happened.
Recently, my house was affected by flooding, which made me lose everything and left me emotionally shaken. I'm currently staying at a family friend's house who offered me a room. This friend had to go out with my step-cousin's mother to remove his surgery stitches. I went to my room to do my things and prepare for a meeting that would define my current work situation, as I work at the airport and, due to the flooding, activities were halted. She entered the room, sat on the bed, and was shyly quiet. So, I suggested we watch a movie and chat until my meeting. I honestly didn't know what to watch, so we flipped through various movies and series until I suggested one. When we started watching, I noticed she wasn't very excited because she had seen it before. Then, she suggested a romance movie she liked. It's not my type of movie, but since she was visiting, I let it play, and we watched it while hugging.
As we talked and laughed together, the atmosphere started to get warmer. In my mind, I rationally didn't want to continue that way to avoid making things weird between us. But as she got closer and I didn't reject her small advances, when she was face-to-face with me, it felt like I had two voices in my head: one wanting to kiss her casually and another saying the right thing was to refuse and leave the situation.
On impulse, I asked if I could kiss her. My step-cousin looked a bit surprised but didn't refuse or kiss me either. I got the impression that I was rejected, and despite the adrenaline rush, I felt relieved that I only had to deal with the awkwardness of asking without actually kissing her. I hugged her and apologized, saying, "Sorry, I don't know what I was thinking, it's going to be a bit weird now, huh?" Then she lifted her head, and we kissed for a few seconds. It was a strange and not at all good kiss, but I'm not a good reference since it was my first real kiss. I felt weird afterward, a sense of guilt and shame. I realized she felt the same way. I apologized and explained that it was totally impulsive because I didn't feel anything beyond the physical part of the kiss, just guilt and shame. That's when I realized I had messed up because I didn't feel anything romantic for her, and it seemed to mean something different to her. I apologized again until she said it was okay, that it was no problem, and we could forget about it.
We stayed silent in the room for about five minutes, each in our own corner, awkwardly quiet. The guilt of having done something that could hurt her feelings, knowing she had dealt with depression before, put me in a position I didn't want to be in. So, I gathered courage and asked, "Look, like I said before, we shouldn't have done that. But I need to know, why did you kiss me? I'm not blaming you, but I just need to know." I asked to understand why she continued the kiss. I hoped she would tell me it was also an impulse and that it didn't mean anything. But unfortunately, she replied, "Maybe because I like you, I don't know."
That left my heart and mind heavy. I kissed someone I didn't like, and on top of that, it was my cousin. I know it was irresponsible and immature on my part, something that others will probably see as "childish". But I really don't feel anything romantic for her and just want to make sure she won't be hurt psychologically and physically after this.
Should I have said something I didn't? Should I accept that I messed up and live with it? Should I distance myself from her and never see her again, hoping this will fade from my memory? Was I a jerk for doing this to her, even having a slight intuition that she liked me?
Honestly, I don't even know how to deal with this now. I don't know if I should say something or pretend nothing happened and live my life, if I should ignore her, or if I should talk to her. I don't want to blow this situation up more than it already is. It was something that happened that shouldn't have, and it's totally my fault.
I'm not sure, I just wish I could go back in time and undo or even erase it from our memories.
PS: Sorry if this all sounds too childish, but it's really difficult for me to deal with, being the first time something like this has happened to me. Even though my parents are open-minded people, they would disapprove of me kissing my step-cousin, but they would still help and guide me through this situation. However, I can't even imagine how to talk to them about it, I feel so much shame and guilt.

I just grinded up to 6.2k beh score (and in the meantime gained like 1k mmr). Now i can chat again. This is a problem. Removing the hotkey for chat is just 2 clicks and it's back there.
I would like to have an option to ban myself from chatting for the current game. Or for the next x games. When i realise im about to get mad, i would activate it instantly.
Offcourse, most of normal day Dota players can't relate to it. I understand this.
But hey, us low beh score players are also just humans, with flaws, obviously. Most of us are not proud of it, i would assume. It's controll loss. The lvl of madness can get insane. I know for certain many players like me would welcome this feature and make use of it. It is indicative that the quality of games becomes way worse on the beh. score treshhold above the chatban (6k).
I want to elaborate somewhat further why a strictly (self)imposed chatban is something entirely different than "just not using chat":
When you have the option of using chat, you are aware of that. When things go wrong in the game, and the madness starts to increase, the urge of releasing the pressure by "venting" about how bad a teammate just did, increases to a point where you literally can't controll it any more, until you rage type something. The entire process, starting from the simple state of being aware of the option to use chat as a vent, lets you experience bad things in the game entirely different. When a chat ban is imposed, it is WAY more easy to just keep focussing on the game and your own game related actions, since there simply is no way to chat. Offcourse, there are other ways to vent, which is griefing. But the threshhold to actual griefing is a lot higher than just venting in chat.
Give us ways to prevent us from the selfharm. I see no downside to this.
[I would actually even go further and ask for self imposed timed play bans. Or self imposed daily game limits. But i realise this proposition, which i actually already asked for 10 years ago in the Dota Devs forum, will probably be rejected, since it might "hurt business" in some way. I actually think this argument is crap, and anything that helps create a less toxic envoirenment in this game improves business in the long run. Installing external controll mechanics to moderate humans weaknesses obviously does help tackle the issue of overall toxicity. I mean, you literally have a system for that already (Overwatch, Beh score, etc.). How could it be a bad idea to also give that controll to the affected players themselves?]

Heyo hi!
I've been away from reddit for a little while as I needed to deal with some personal stuff but am once again on the lookout for someone/some people who I can hang with every now and again! I'll jot down my hobbies here and if they resonate/match with yours feel free to drop me a DM! :))
So, here goes:
- Music ~ I play the piano & guitar!, currently learning to sing, still a loooooong way to go though!
- Dance/Fitness ~ I've been trying to get into modern dances like hip hop/street popping styles :D
- Skincare/Fashion ~ Any fashion-fanatics would totally be welcome as I'm trying a big restyle currently, currently working on different hairstyles and outfit designs!! Possibly getting some curly hair into my straight hair soon!
- Video Games ~ I do like to play games every so often, primarily on PC but I do have other consoles too!
- Language Learning ~ Been learning Korean and trying to learn other languages recently too - any tips/guidance or just generic conversations in languages besides English are super welcome
- Cooking/Baking ~ I love baking too, very therapeutic which brings me onto my other hobby:
- Coffee/Drinks ~ I love to make and explore different types of coffee, recently made my own boba tea also :) would looove some tips on how to make my coffees extra creamy!
I do have other hobbies but I'd say the above are probably all my main ones :) I will say though, I am from the UK but my sleep schedule can be pretty scuffed so I'm happy to chat to people from anywhere in the world :)
If anything mentioned takes your interest, drop me a DM and see if we vibe? I do use discord primarily so it's preferred and please be 18+ annd finallyyy, please do not spam me if I don't reply in 15 seconds...!! I will try my best to get back to everyone <3

So a couple of days this happened and I shared it on one of my private women’s groups. And the ladies asked to share it with more people. So here goes. I was flying home from one event. I was given a seat in second row of the plane and as I sat in that place I got this weird feeling as if God put me in that particular place for some reason. At first I thought maybe I will get a reward of being alone in the row of seats so I can sleep more comfortably, but as the last people came in someone sat next to me and I realised I was wrong. A man with his wife or girlfriend came up to the first row and asked the stewardess if they could use the WC before liftoff. The stewardess said it would be fine, but they would have to wait until all other passangers have boarded. As they were waiting for the toilet, they realized that the places in first row are free and so they asked, if they could use them (because, as I understood, they wanted to sit together, but they got separate places). Stewardess responded that these seats are 20 euro more expensive and they decided to buy them. As I was listening in the conversation, it was obvious from the way he spoke, that this man was an intelligent person. When he sat in this place, he peaked into the pilot’s cabin and said loudly and with a surprise in his voice to the stewardess “will the pilot be a woman today?” (I expected him to praise her, but the next sentence rapidly changed my perception of this man…) “Is this even safe?” I was shocked. I saw the stewardess made herself smaller and said “she is a very experienced pilot”. Then he asked “Very experienced? How old is she? She looks really young… Or maybe she’s like 40?” Now at this point I wanted to scream. But what actually came out of me was a snicker with a headshake. The man that sat beside me asked, what this other guy said that made me react this way, I explained and saw a supporting look in his eyes. After the conversation between the guy and stewardess ended, I observed her as she had to do the security dance that they always do before the flight. As I have quite an extensive flying experience, I don’t usually take time to watch this safety instruction, but this time I was observing very attentively. Her body was doing the moves and on her face you could very clearly see pain: the type of pain that you have when you want to cry, but you can’t allow yourself to do it. When the plane lifted, I fell asleep. I woke up an hour later and I received this clear message that I had to pass on to the pilot. At this moment I was extremely happy I bought a pen as I was thinking I would write some song lyrics, while waiting for the plane – I didn’t write much, but now I knew why I needed that pen. I found a small part of the paper that was not full of random lyrics of mine and prepared it for the message. I was very worried to make a mistake on the only small piece of paper I had, so I practiced what I wanted to write next to my lyrics before I actually wrote it out on the page, so this is why I still have the actual text I wrote. “Hi, I wanted to express, how sorry I am that you have to experience ignorant comments from misogynist men for choosing to be a pilot. I believe by following your passion you uplift & inspire women & especially girls that get to experience flying with you. Some weak male egos get threatened by this, but this is a very needed process for the change that is occurring in the collective in finding more balance after a long history of patriarchy. On behalf of all the little girls of this world Thank you.” As the crew started preparing for landing, I stopped the stewardess that I saw was really affected by that situation and I said „This is not trash. This is a message for you and for the pilot. Read it first and if you feel like it, share it with her too.“ The stewardess thanked me and then read the message. She looked at me with a very warm smile and said she will definitely give it to the pilot. She then pulled back the little curtain they have in their area and invited two other stewardesses that were on the flight for a chat. I saw them reading the paper, then I saw her pointing to the guy (presumably explaining the context for my message). All three of them then looked at me and smiled warmly. But then I started having thoughts that I should say something to this guy as well. And the first thoughts that I had weren‘t very nice. Then I heard my teacher‘s voice in my head saying „Now is your chance to turn your poisons into pearls“ and I realised that I do want to draw a boundary, but with love. When the plane landed, I quickly grabbed my stuff and as I was waiting for the door to open, I was observing this guy collect his stuff. When he finished and stood up to wait, I gathered all my courage (I literally felt my feet physically tremble how afraid I actually was) and I told him: „I would like to tell you something, because I feel you now have a chance to learn and to grow. For this lady to pilot this plane, in her studies and work she had to show a degree of excellence that was way above most of her male peers. And this is because of such ignorant viewpoints like yours of some male teachers and colleagues that she must have had in her life. I truly hope that if you ever have a daughter you will not make her feel smaller the way you tried to make the pilot of our plane feel today.“ He said „you probably did not hear the end of our conversation. In the end I told her that actually probably it is true that flying with women is safer. And that all of it was a joke“. I answered „This is true, I did not hear that bit. But your joke was not funny. Because I saw their reaction. And it was not funny for me.“ I noticed a small supporting smile from the man that sat next to me during the flight. The door oppened and the guy from the first row stepped to the side to let me leave the plane first. Today absolutely by chance I saw these statistics (from the Female Quotient in fb): Women make up less than 20% of the workforce in most aviation occupations: Only 5% of pilots are women and women make up about 6% of airline CEOs. And Black female pilots make up just 1% of commercial airline pilots globally. I don‘t know what you can take from my story. But what I hope is that you allow yourselves to fly in a pursuit of your dreams whatever your dreams might be, regardless of the men that get scared so easily.
P.S. I don't use reddit much, so if you know where is a better place for this type of post, please share with me

You know what the best part is about playing Engineer in Team Fortress 2? You get to watch how angry everyone gets when they get shot by your sentry guns. Me and my best friend Jose both main Engineer, and can confirm that the best way to spend your Friday nights after school is to set up a sentry and get ready for the rage. There’s been matches where we haven’t even used our actual guns even once, but racked up lots of kills just because of the sentries.
One day Jose called me up with an idea that was either going to be the stupidest thing ever or the smartest thing ever. He wanted to fill an entire team with only Engineers and watch the chaos unfold. I couldn’t stop laughing at the mental image in my head and agreed with the plan. I joined a Discord server with everyone else on the team.
I convinced my cousin Matthew to join, and he in turn brought along his little brother Zack. According to Matthew, it took quite a bit of convincing because Zack was a Scout main who couldn’t stand Engineers. He eventually got through to his little brother by promising him a Steam gift card. I even got their dad Graham to play along (yes, I have an uncle who plays TF2. How cool is that?). Jose enlisted his friends, who turned into friends of friends and soon enough we had a team of 16 Engineers.
To say that we caused chaos that night was an absolute understatement. As soon as we joined the game the text chat was flooded with messages from the other team wondering what the hell was going on. And they only got worse from that point on. We surrounded our control points with a ring of sentries that people just kept running into. I saw keyboard smashes and heard other teen boys’ voices crack in rage and many, many words that I personally don’t care to repeat here.
The most skilled Engineer was this guy named Craig, who was a friend of one of Jose’s friends. Not only was he the main person capturing the enemy control points with some very strategically placed teleporters, but he was also really friendly and encouraging to all of us. I didn’t know what he looked like, but from his voice it sounded like he was in his early 20s.
Me and Craig started to chat more and more on Discord. He was a super nice guy who was also really fun to talk with. He took time out of his day to teach me how to be an even better Engineer player. Whenever someone started dissing me in the voice chat, he firmly told them to leave me alone. After seeing my fair share of toxicity in the TF2 community, it was nice to know that this complete stranger was looking out for me.
This whole Team Engineer thing became a weekly tradition for us on Friday nights. It was something everyone could look forward to after work or school. One time after everyone logged off and said their goodbyes, Craig sent a message a few hours later in our Discord:
“You guys gotta check this out. I found the weirdest server ever. It’s literally Engineer heaven. Meet me at vl_sentry.”
I was still in the mood to play and I could stay up late tonight, so I hopped back on TF2. I saw that Jose, Graham and this other girl we played with named Lynn were also online. I found vl_sentry and connected to the server. The map was called Valley of the Sentries and it was created by Valve.
It took my computer a little bit to process the map, and it took me even longer than that to process what I was seeing.
The map looked like a chessboard with 3D-sculpted hills. The sky was just pure white. Not even white walls, just the color white. Every square had a blue sentry on it and there were about 4 or 5 other Engineers jumping around, spamming their voice lines. That’s when I realized that we were the only ones there, and there was no red team.
“Hey Sean, glad you could make it :)” Craig said in the text chat. “What the hell is this?” I asked. He told me that this was a server that one of his friends showed him. The friend said he was introduced to the map by a friend of his who knew someone who worked at Valve. Craig then went on to explain that apparently Valley of the Sentries was an experiment to test the limits of the sentry guns and their effect on the servers. Rumor has it that the map is infinite.
“Check this out.” said Jose. He switched to Heavy and immediately got shot down. All of the sentries turned towards him. There were so many of them that it made the game lag a ton. He respawned as Engineer and the sentries just kept on spinning.
“WTF?” I typed. “We tried it with all the other classes and it does the same thing.” said Craig. “It ignores Engineers, but shoots everyone else.” Lynn added. “And that’s why we’re the best class. Engineer power!” Graham joked.
I asked what would happen if you were to play as Spy and sap one of the sentries. “I tried, but you gotta have a godly reaction time to activate it.” said Jose. As soon as he said “godly reaction time”, I knew I had to try it out just for the bragging rights.
Respawn. Shot down. Respawn. Shot down. Respawn. Shot down.
Yeah, I did not have a godly reaction time. The others kept spamming “lol” in the chat each time I failed. I got annoyed pretty quickly and stopped trying. Then out of nowhere, all the sentries turned away from me and started firing at someone. I turned around and all five of us were still standing there. I looked at the top bar that shows how many characters were in the game. There were only five Engineers and they were all on the same team. So what the hell were the sentries targeting?
I started to walk in the direction that the sentries were facing and Jose followed me too. We moved really slow, not only because of the sentries on every square but also the uphill climbs. It was just us two in the chat for a while, talking about seeing each other back at school on Monday while we made our slow walk across the map. Then our conversation was interrupted by a chat message from Lynn.
“Why is there a man in the sky?”
Me and Jose tried to get to Lynn to see what she was talking about as fast as possible, but we moved like snails. To get back to the spawn point, we both switched classes, instantly died and respawned as Engineers. I don’t think we respawned in the same place we started from. I don’t even know where we respawned. There were no landmarks or notable things to help you find your way. Just hills, valleys, and sentries.
I asked Lynn where she was and she just told me she was with Graham and Craig. Only that wasn’t very helpful because we didn’t know where they were either. We stood there, stumped for a minute and a half until Jose got an idea. He said that she should just switch classes and respawn, because then all of the sentries would point toward her and we could follow them all the way back to her. She made the switch, got shot down, and we instantly knew where to find her.
We finally got close enough to kind of make out the vague shape of a few Engineers over the non-existent horizon. Me and Jose were relieved, until all the sentries pointed to our right. I swiveled around and saw them open fire on…nothing. I checked with Jose to see if he caught something I didn’t, but he also didn’t see what they were shooting at. I decided that it wasn’t that important and continued to walk towards the rest of the group.
We met up with Lynn, Craig and Graham, disappointed that we made that trek all for nothing. Even though we were all together now, it just felt so lonely. The only sound coming from my computer was the constant beeping of the sentries in perfect sync. I don’t know why, but it made me so uneasy. I attempted to break the silence by going to the voice lines and playing the iconic Engineer “Nope” soundbite. It echoed across the checkered land with no response.
It was about 12:30 AM at this point and I was starting to feel more and more unsettled with each passing minute. There was just something about this black and white world that I felt creeped out by. Before Craig invited us to come over, there was no one else on the server. Who would even want to play on this map, anyways? It’s so unfairly balanced that only one class can survive. Movement speed was super slow, and you can’t even really do anything except watch the sentries turn and turn and turn forever. It was like hypnosis, except I didn’t feel sleepy or relaxed at all.
Speaking of being sleepy, Jose said he was getting tired and was going to be logging off. We all said goodbye to him and continued chatting amongst ourselves. It sounds stupid, but my stomach dropped when I saw the fifth Engineer portrait disappear. One less person to talk to. One less person to keep myself from wondering what else was out here. I could have sworn that after he left, the beeping got louder.
“So is this map actually infinite?” asked Graham. “Only one way to find out.” Craig said. “Just keep on walking and see if it goes on forever.” “Why don’t you just fire a shotgun and see how far it goes?” Lynn suggested.
I took out the shotgun and fired. The bullet flew off into the white distance and disappeared.
Then I heard the distinct sound of someone getting shot.
A message appeared in the chat, from someone named sentry_check_pattern.
“sentry_check_pattern: stop that”
Once again I looked at the top bar. It just showed four blue Engineers. That meant we were the only ones on the server. Or so we thought.
The chat was flooded with our confusion, almost as if everyone realized at the same time that something wasn’t right. None of us moved an inch.
“What even is this place?” I asked, hoping that the mysterious user would provide me with an answer. “Must be Engineer heaven.” said Graham.
“sentry_check_pattern: more like my personal hell”
This was the moment that made me trust my intuition. I knew there was a reason why I found this map so creepy. I wanted to leave the server, but there was just one thing keeping me back- my own curiosity. My wish to unveil the mysteries of the Valley of the Sentries.
“Okay this is really freaking me out. See ya guys.” said Lynn before she left the server. The fourth Engineer’s portrait disappeared from the top bar.
No no no, please. Please don’t go. Don’t leave us. I wouldn’t want to be alone here. Now there’s just three of us, and I really hope that number doesn’t go down anymore. When the others were here, this was just a weird TF2 map that we were exploring together as friends. And now it feels like we’re trapped in this infinite world, but we aren’t alone. The only problem is we don’t know what else is here.
I shuddered, imagining Craig and Graham ditching me and leaving me all alone in the Valley of the Sentries. Just me and whoever- no, whatever was talking to us.
“sentry_check_pattern: you don’t know how good you have it
you can leave at any time
i can’t”
This terrified me. What a horrible thought, never being able to leave this place. But of course, no one could really be trapped here. It’s a Team Fortress 2 server. You can just exit the game and shut your computer. No one could be trapped in a video game.
But if you think about it, aren’t the characters themselves trapped? They can’t leave the game. They’re characters. They don’t even know they’re in a game. You or the computer controls all their actions. They don’t have free will. And if you’re bad at the game, they’ll just keep dying over and over again.
Wait, why was I thinking about this?
I carefully considered what I wanted to say next in the chat. Whatever I said could either answer all my burning questions or leave me asking more. But sentry_check_pattern talked first.
“sentry_check_pattern: i was made for one purpose
to die over and over again”
Oh my god. It was like this person read my mind and knew exactly what I was thinking about. Who or what was I talking to? I turned all the way around to make sure that no one else was there. It was just the two blue Engineers standing behind me. Just Graham and Craig. And that man with the checkered skin.
Startled, I asked my friends if they saw what I saw. It took them a second, but both of them confirmed that yes, there was indeed something else there. A basic male model with the same chessboard texture as the map. Graham immediately started to shoot at him. Nothing. It just went straight through him.
“sentry_check_pattern: you can’t kill what’s already been killed millions of times over
valve made that mistake too
every company has that one failed project they don’t talk about
and that’s me”
Whoever was behind this weird account was talking crazy. The Team Fortress 2 developers were very open about everything like fixing their glitches and bugs. They always posted things on the official blog about the development process. They’re so open about their failures and always promise to fix them.
“Stop with the weird stuff. We just wanted to know what the deal is with this server and the weird chess guy. Do you know anything about it?” Graham asked in the text chat.
“sentry_check_pattern: know anything?
you’re not very bright, graham
none of you are
do you not realize where you are and what you’re talking to”
Something about the way sentry_check_pattern used Graham’s name gave me goosebumps. I didn’t know what I was talking to. I didn’t even think I wanted to know at this point.
“sentry_check_pattern: this is one of valve’s test servers
i’m the texture they use to check if the sentries work
read between the lines”
“Quiet, NPC.” Craig said. I laughed a little bit to fight off the awkward tension. Then I reminded myself that I was talking to a video game character, no- not even a character. A blank character model. A texture.
“sentry_check_pattern: just because i’m a character model doesn’t mean i can’t feel pain
open fire”
The sentries all swiveled around to face the man and shot at him. He kept falling to the ground, turning white and standing back up in the same position.
“sentry_check_pattern: cease fire”
All of the sentries stopped shooting and just went back to spinning around, their beeps echoing in the air.
“sentry_check_pattern: ready to see what i’ve been through for over a decade?
open fire”
Before any of us could react, the sentries opened fire on Craig all at once. He kept dying, but he didn’t explode the way you’re supposed to when you die in TF2. He just dropped to the floor, turned white, and respawned over and over again. There was no death scream. I tried to type something else in the chat but the game lagged so much that my typing just ended up as a string of random letters that meant nothing. Craig tried to type something out too. It just ended up as “wwwwwwwwwwthisishowitfeelswwwwwwwww” Then the game crashed and my computer shut down.
I hyperventilated. Then I laughed at myself for hyperventilating over a stupid computer game. It was Team Fortress 2 for god’s sake. That game with all the memes and goofy jokes. Stupid, stupid Sean. Scared of a character model. Jose would never let me live it down. I just laughed and laughed to push the fear away.
I closed my laptop and took out my phone to rewatch all of my favorite TF2 animations for the millionth time. As if they weren’t already the funniest things in the world, I forced myself to laugh even harder than usual. Every time I saw the Engineer, I couldn’t help but look at the reflection in his goggles. The reflection of an endless map of black and white squares.
Thankfully, nothing bad happened to my game, account or laptop. The next day I just went right back to playing and enjoying the rage coming from all the people who ran right into my sentries.
Team Engineer was still a thing, but it was never really the same. We played together a lot less frequently. It was still a lot of fun, but I felt a change that I couldn’t really describe.
We found out that Craig had lost all progress on his TF2 account. Everyone gifted him all his favorite cosmetics and we all pooled our money together to get him a Steam gift card. He video called us, crying at our kindness. It was the first time I ever even saw his face. He was a lot older than most of us. If I had to guess an age, I’d say somewhere around 30. He had black bangs and was wearing a TF2 shirt. His room was dark, only lit by his glowing computer screen. He thanked us repeatedly and even tried to return the gift card, but we were all adamant that he should keep it.
Speaking of Craig, we still kept in touch but he didn’t talk to me as much anymore. Any time I tried to ask him about vl_sentry, he ignored me for a few days.
The other day, I got some postcards from my cousin Matthew. He was very academic and happened to be studying at a private high school about 9 hours away from where I live. All of his postcards were pictures of him making funny faces with all his friends at favorite school activities like robotics, debate team, and chess club.
I looked at the chess club photo closely. Matthew and his friends were standing in front of a chessboard with a mirror on the wall. And for a split second, I could have sworn that the chessboard looked different in the mirror. It looked warped, like it wasn’t a flat board anymore. Like it almost had hills and valleys. No, it couldn’t be. I rubbed my eyes. There, in the mirror was a checkered man. I knew it was there. I swear on my mother’s life that there was another person in that photo. And then it was gone. Maybe the picture was just printed badly. But I had to make sure my eyes were right.
So I brought the postcard to school with me and I showed Jose. I asked him if he saw the checkered man in the mirror. He said no. But that wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear. That was the answer I hoped I wouldn’t hear. I asked him again. He said no again. Then I asked him another time. He said I was being annoying. So I asked another one of my friends. He said no too. So I moved on to yet another friend. He told me to stop.
I angrily clutched the postcard in my hand, crumpling it. I was the only one that saw what was really there. Everyone else was lying to me. They refused to see the truth.
I screamed and ripped up the postcard. I stomped on its pieces. I rubbed them in the dirt for good measure.
Somewhere in the distance, I heard the sound of electronics beeping.
It rang in my ears.
It was weirdly comforting to me.
You can leave the Valley of the Sentries. But the valley will never leave you.

So im a very timid person and i can talk to people comfortable but these past two years I've been verbally bullied by my college piers for example having people come up to my desk just to call me stupid. calling me names behind my back or calling me weird or how 'll shoot up a school.
i had one person i would talk to (as in i would start all the conversations and he'd just listen) sure he helped me with my work but he treated me like i was a job and only seemed to hang out with me out of pitty he never starts conversations never even texted me even lies to me a lot and never defended me when i was being shamed and he would just sit there with the people who bullied me he's even in a group chat with them. Even when i told him about how i was being treated by them he said "ITS BECAUSE I DONT TALK." i remember texting him i liked him (i guess i was feeling lonely and outcasted) and he said he would talk to me about it later but he actually just ghost me for a 2 days before i texted him "yeah I'll just wait." before he could tell me "how he didn't feel the same way and how he just didn't want to deal with it"
i stopped being friends with him after that and he practically helps everyone including me sometimes but i don't accept it. (he acts like he did nothing wrong)
because of this my grades has gone down even worse than before even my college professor seem to be treating me even more harshly i cried in a bathroom stall he came down to check on me and when he saw me crying unable to speak from the tears and heavy breathing he told me i was being rude and being aggressive. i told him how i was feeling the other day and he sarcastically brought it up in class and saying things to me like " anyone wants to go to the bathroom?! *Insert my name* Dont forget your phone this time."
when i call him to help me with a question he sucks his teeth or sighs loudly in annoyance. i talked to him about how im afraid ask him questions now because of him and how he pressures me when i make a mistake( for example *me taking a long time typing something* he says " your wasting my time.") he practically shifted the blame onto me with a question and told me "you hang onto things" he then makes sarcastic remarks in front of the class like " oh am i being to aggressive or im not scaring annoying. the whole class laughs.
anyway this is still going on but this happens all the time i get bullied in every school i go to i don't know why. i assume it's because of how i look but are people really that shallow? or maybe im to sensitive and need to grow up.

Hello beautiful people of this sub! I don't think I'm particularly good at introductions and the like, so l' do us all a favour and get straight to the point.
I'm a 19 year old guy, from North America (Mexico, if it matters), somewhat chubby and very tall (according to all accounts), who has always struggled with sociability and everything requiring interaction with others, however, l've decided to start breaking out of this shell, and I decided to give posting in here a try! Who knows? I might just find exactly what I'm looking for.
About me, in case the flair wasn't clear enough, 1 am somewhat of a heavy gamer! My favourite types of games include open world exploration ones (think like Minecraft), and JRPG's (such as Persona and Shin Megami Tensei). I use all three main gaming platforms (PlayStation, Xbox, and Nintendo Switch), so if we can arrange a session and play together that could be lovely!
I'm also a big fan of music, I spend most of my free time listening to it and I even own a vinyl collection, which I have posted on my instagram for a while now! We can talk about that for literal hours and I can't possibly get bored, recommend me your favourite songs or artists! I can even give you some recommendations myself.
Other smaller hobbies l've got also include movies (I've got a letterboxd), and reading, which in turn has made me somewhat of a writer, l've given writing a try a few times before and like to think I'm well spoken and educated, though that is something I can't award myself on purely ethical grounds. Seems a bit self-aggrandising in my opinion.
I've also got my fair share of baggage in the form of stories of various experiences and tragedies in my life (most revolving around men, funnily enough) so we can also wallow in each other's pain if that's something you're looking to do! I can talk about anything, anytime, just as long as we're both in the same wavelength, it'll be all smooth sailing.
If I sounded like something you'd like to bother with, don't hesitate to hit me up! And we don't even have to chat extensively through here, l've got Discord, Snapchat, Instagram, or of the enough trust is there, we can even text! I leave it up to you, one thing about me is that I am insanely adaptable, and will always try to make sure you are comfortable and feeling good when we talk.
Well, with this long ass post over, see ya soon! :)

I already know what the main advice here will be. "Just move on". I get it. That's ultimately the only choice, but it's getting exhausting dealing with modern dating standards. I'm completely monogamous and try to talk exclusivity when it feels right and is appropriate. Was talking to a woman who has similar interests, life goals, etc. We'd talk for hours late into the night as she tells me how much she loves my voice. Compliments me all the time. How much she loves my eyes, he she never wants to let me go when I hold her, etc. According to her, I'm her "exact type". She also told me she's strictly monogamous and doesn't like sharing who she's into, so I assumed the same respect would be returned. A few weeks in I ask her, to clarify, if we're exclusive, or if we could be. With how often we talked and saw one another, I was certain this would just give us peace of mind. After all, she already told me she felt jealous at the thought of me looking at another woman the same way and didn't want to "share me".
I was wrong. She was still seeing "several" guys, and I was a bit taken back and hurt, but hid that because we never exactly discussed it, so I asked her if we could be. Her attitude changed and she told me it "wouldn't be fair to all the other guys she's seeing" and told me she "couldn't be exclusive with me yet". I didn't get upset or flip out, but I told her I was surprised when she asked me what was wrong. I told her I was surprised because she told me she didn't want to share me with anyone else and that she was monogamous like I was. This didn't seem to click with her, so she got quiet and noticeably upset. She told me she "needed space" and it's been 3 days since she actually talked to me. I know maybe I shouldn't have, but yesterday I messaged her saying "I apologize if I came across as rude the other day. Feel free to get back to me when you feel comfortable." to which replied, "I told you I need space." I should just cut my losses at this point.
It's not like I was going for a woman with different relationship values or trying to chase the un-obtainable, but this is far from the first time something like this has happened. I'm not a bad looking guy, so I've definitely had options before, but if this were reversed and I told her I was still seeing multiple women and declined exclusivity, I'd be branded as a player and/or narcissist immediately. I see guys getting bashed online for this behavior on social media all the time. Is this really what modern dating has become?

TL;DR: I keep falling for toxic women, particularly ENFJs, and I'm not as attracted to healthier, more balanced women. Seeking insights into why this happens and advice on avoiding limerence towards the wrong people. Have you experienced this with ENFJs? What psychological causes might underlie this behavior? Any techniques, habits, or books to recommend?
Hi everyone! I'm opening this thread because after a few years of dating and actively pursuing girls I've noticed a pattern that doesn't look very positive: I seem to exclusively fall in love with women that are quite toxic and even sociopathic in some cases (an ENTP friend told me once: "the girls you like are usually quite sus lol"), These women have always been xNFJ. At the same time, I'm not so passionately attracted to other women that could be considered healthier and more balanced.
I would really want to understand what the explanation for this phenomenon could be.

• Below I'm giving more context and some reflections that I hope some of you will find useful, but for those who are unwilling to keep reading, I would like to ask you a few questions.
• Have you ever experienced this before (more specifically with ENFJs) and in a recurrent manner
• What do you think are the underlying ultimate psychological causes of this kind of unhealthy behaviour?
• Which techniques, methods, habits have worked for you to avoid becoming limerent towards the wrong person?
• Any books you think are worth recommending (preferably something practical and prescriptive, I already read Love and Limerence, but it was eminently descriptive)?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Conditions to Fall in Love

I've identified these characteristics in all the women I've considered as potential soulmates.

• Attraction towards Fe-proficient individuals. I'm not sure if this is the case for all INTPs. I don't remember having such a liking for xNFJs when I was younger; it seems to have begun after I started treating Extraverted Feeling as an area I really need to improve. I like when people show (an exaggerated) interest in my pastimes and ideas or when they put my needs first (e.g. pouring water in your glass first during a dinner). And I guess it makes sense. In Projection and Personality we can read that we can "idealize the opposite attitude, especially in the opposite sex, making partnerships in order that the partner will play a complementary role for us. Jung commented that this was fairly frequent in marriage and even necessary, but such idealizing biases are just as deluded as the negative biases. Each “attitude-type” projects attributes onto the other that are not rightly his or hers", and that the use of the inferior function can lead one to become "addicted to or infatuated by activities or individuals associated with the function." Personality Cafe's user Entropic wrote an interesting comment about this as well.

This might explain the preference for toxic, unbalanced individuals. A toxic ENFJ would be one that is an Fe-Se loop, which apparently entails being extremely consciuos and responsive to other people's needs and feelings while constantly looking for new stimulating experiences such as doing aerobic sports, partying, or travelling.

• Attraction towards Ni-Se Axis Users. Despite what Socionics proposes, I've never found our duals (ESFJs) attractive at all. Notwithstanding their command of Fe, they appear to me as shallow, uninteresting, and simple-minded (no offense intended, I'm just stating what I perceive). The same for ISFJs; in the last weeks I ran into a very beautiful ISFJ girl a few times, and despite finding her very physically appealing, no infatuation could take place there because her conversation was one-sided, superficial, and ultimately, unfulfilling. On top of that, they (and people in the Si-Ne Axis in general) tend to lack a fondness for touching, which I personally find very interesting in a romantic partner.

I believe these two conditions explain why INFJs and, particularly, ENFJs can be so alluring to me (and perhaps to other INTPs): they tend to have top-notch social skills, are great conversationalists and know how to touch people in the right moment and at the right place to create a sense of connection.

• Importance of physical attractiveness. Infatuation does not happen with every INFJ and ENFJ I encounter. I also need to feel the urge to mix my genes together with those of the other person. I know a slightly older ENFJ girl who is a good friend of an ENTP girl friend of mine Although she displays a lot of behaviours I know I would consider attractive under different conditions, I don't find her hot enough, so the spell does not work out, and I am able to impartially see how unhinged she is.

Why Limerence Keeps Coming Back

• Immature Fi. This is a bit speculative, but I believe if I still feel limerent every so and so despite being 28 it is because of an incapacity to control and structure my own strong emotions, which is the territory of Introverted Feeling (recently, I read a biography of Madame Curie and found super relatable her affair with Paul Langevin, during which she behaved in a complete irrational manner in spite of being over her 40s). There could, of course, be non-personality-type-related reasons (which is what I'm actually trying to find out), but Fi-doms don't seem to experience this state of anxiety that frequently. I discussed this with my ISFP mother, and she admitted feeling "butterflies in her belly" only once in her lifetime, when she was in high school. Never again felt that way, not even with my ENTJ father, but that doesn't prevent her from loving him. I also discussed it with an INFP colleague, and he also said that maybe he felt this way when he was a teenager but has never felt it in his adult relationships. To me that could point to an ability present in Fi-doms to quickly and intuitively learn how to self-adjust in certain situations that caused internal distress in the past. What makes me believe this could be true is that I know that, for example, ENFJs can also fall in love hard and can get depressed after a breakup. Another ENFJ friend of my ENTP girl friend broke up recently with a long-term partner and she seems to have been suffering from melancholy and a sentiment of meaninglessness and loss of direction. She said she has always believed that you need to feel infatuated to love someone, and I believe ENFJs also have Fi in a critical spot.

The Women I Have Fallen in Love With

I want to describe four women I've gotten to know well and who ended up being quite crazy despite having initially awaken very strong feelings in me. I hope to show with that that I'm not the problem and that there is a grounded pattern that involves different types of women that only share their psychological type. I also got infatuated with 2 other ENFJ women, but that was temporarily (after sleeping with one, and after seeing the other in a few social gatherings) and couldn't know them on a deeper level. And I pursued an ENFP an ESFP as well (which, in their way, are also quite proficient with Fe). I'm not including them because the ENFP, although she is very toxic, I met her first online and couldn't see the whole picture, and the ESFP is in fact a decent human being, and we are still friends.

• My ENFJ supervisor (+40). She looked quite well despite her age, and I found interesting the fact that she was independent and presumably hard-working. Thought intensely about her for a month. Then I knew she had cheated on her boyfriend of 3 years with one of my best friends, and then lied to the boyfriend to make him believe it was my friend who was obsessed with her, and manipulated my friend to support her version. Then, when the boyfriend knew the truth, she accused him of being responsible for the situation. She also dated a guy from a LatAm country when she was younger, made him accompany her to her home country in Europe, and asked him to leave because she was bored of him after a month.
• The INFJ who texted me through Instagram (28). She saw me on Tinder, but she is 2 years older, so she didn't appear to me because of the age filter. Then replied to one of my stories. First, she told me she didn't like me because I was too young (she knew that from the beginning). Then, after making out, she didn't want to have a relationship because she said the chances of me leaving the country were too high, and in the end, she would leave the country herself a few months later to pursue a degree that has nothing to do with her original studies.
• The sociopathic ENFJ colleague (31). Met her in a bar and talked for 2 hours; everything fine. A few weeks later, we go to a dinner with other people. After I suggest that all Ethiopian dishes taste the same and after saying that if someone is Hispanic and has a Chinese surname, it is very likely that they are Peruvian, she exhorts me to keep my biases at home, accuses me of breaking social harmony and basically implies in an incredibly aggressive manner that I say racist things. I had to take a 10-minute walk to calm down after that. We were supposed to talk privately so I could explain her why I didn't like that moment, but then she decides a week later to expel me from a work-related group chat without giving any explanation. Never talked again after that.
• The ENFJ without clear ideas (24). Met her a few times through mutual friends and she seemed interested, but then I was told she was in a long-distance relationship. I decided not to pursue her because of that, but even though I knew the fact that she had not mentioned her boyfriend for 6 months was a HUGE red flag, I found her super interesting. Confessed my feelings to her and asked her to tell me if I had 0 chances so I could move on; her reply: "you should act as if you had 0 chances." Went on 2 more dates, but then she got incredibly emotional because of a discussion we had on nature vs. nurture stuff (it had been quite amusing for me, only realized she was triggered when her hands started literally shaking), sent me the longest text message I ever received in my life describing me as a soulless monster, and asked me for "time, space and boundaries" before we could meet again. Didn't hear about her in almost 2 months, then she apologized and proposed to meet again, but that never materialized.

If you made it until the end, thanks for your time. I hope you enjoyed and also hope to read you in the comments 😊