I really need clarity. I’ll try to be as neutral as possible in telling this story.
Firstly the back story, I (f40) have been friends with my “best friend” for over 20 years. Throughout those years on different occasions friends have told me this friend is a bully. I have somewhat laughed this off and ignored it. It’s also important to know multiple other people have also told me things that this friend has said about me that are not very nice behind my back. She is also the kind of friend who insults or has made not so nice comments directly to me. This has been the case throughout our whole friendship.
I guess I had thick skin earlier in the friendship. So her behaviour had little effect on me. It wasn’t until 6 years ago I had kids and my confidence as a person took a dive that her comments started to impact.
I could rattle off a million examples but I will just give a few. One time maybe a year or two after having my first child I was at her home with another friend of hers. (To clarify I had kids in my mid thirties, both of them had kids before 20.) they proceeded to have a conversation with each other infront of me about how young mums are better mums and that old mums tend to struggle more. Woman should have kids young. You get the idea.
I’m a very passive person so not the type to ever confront anyone or defend myself. Yes I know I should but I’m really not good with conflict.
She on the other hand can be very negative and judgemental not just of me but of everyone around her. I’m not the only one she does this to.
There has been multiple other occasions with similar comments attacking my parenting skills, my personality aswell as having a go about my children.
The straw that broke the camels back wasn’t at all the worst she’s ever said to me. But I guess it was just the timing. I had over a year ago taken a step back from our friendship. I was not great mentally for multiple other reasons and didn’t need added judgement or negativity. She was unaware that I did this.
Recently I’ve been feeling better about myself and the cloud was lifting so I began seeing her a little more. Last week however she once again make a comment attacking my personality. I don’t want to give too much away just incase she reads these, but it was backhanded and basically categorised my whole character as controlling, power hungry, insensitive and lacking any care for others. There were a list of others included in her telling me she thinks of a certain personality type.
The most hurtful aspect is I don’t think I am any of these things at all. So either she doesn’t know me as a person or she was saying it deliberately to hurt me and put me down. Either way something broke inside me. I had decided I was no longer interested in maintaining a friendship with this person.
It’s important to note that over the last few years my husband has become really close with her husband. I absolutely love her husband. I was friends with him well before this friend came into our lives. I am completely fine with them continuing to be friends. I’m more than capable of being in the same room as this woman and being cordial and not giving away there’s anything wrong.
The issue arose yesterday when her hubby had invited us to dinner at her house with her family for her birthday. My hubby had agreed. When he told me I told him I wasn’t comfortable with doing that but he was more than welcome to go.
I had mentioned to him that I could feed the kids left overs and to just let them know it was a school night. I thought I had made it clear the kids were staying with me. However just before he was to leave he informed me he was taking the kids. I explained to him I didn’t want them to go to her birthday dinner. It got heated. He said I was taking it too far. I tried to get him to see it my way by saying if he would be ok me taking our kids to someone’s birthday dinner that treats him like crap and says awful things. As I said things got heated. He took our eldest son regardless.
When he got home we didn’t speak. He decided to sleep in the spare room. I’m now left laying in our bed wandering if I was in the wrong. Was I being dramatic and nasty not wanting my kids to go to the dinner.
Note I told him during the fight I have no problem him taking the kids around to see her hubby in the future. It was the fact this was her birthday dinner that made me not want my kids to go. I just don’t want my kids involved with someone that actively puts me down.
Am I the arsehol.?

Good afternoon anybody, somebody, nobody, & everybody
all evidence DM ME
My name is Jain Kunwar
I am a retail trader for 3.5 years.
I am not an ape, I am not an institutional investor, I am not a hedge fund.
Nor do I have any clients.
I do not provide personalised investment advice for fees or commissions or tax purposes.
I'm just an individual investor who did my own research like Detective Columbo/Pikachu.
I come from a broken family, I have been to prison, I have been homeless even at 15 for many years.
I am not a good person, but I am seeking salvation from God.
I been doing Heroin since the age of 13, sober 8 years since the day I pleaded out to God in Merton station London at 1 am asking God to save me.
Which I believe in myself he did because shortly…….
Soon after, I went prison by confessing all my crimes and the judge let me run it concurrently for being honest that I need help and I had no foundation and healed a bit moving forwards in life.
I was born on May 10th, 1994, in Nepal Butwal. Home of the Gurkhas
I came to England 2002 November & have lived here since.
I class my self as Asian British A9
I have been repenting for my sins happily, paying off my debts and learning to be a good human being for I was a sinner till I met Jesus in Church of England.
My one and only father Jesus.
I have been following and invested in Game stop for a long time.
I started educating myself about the stock market since then.
I have been buying shares of GameStop Since 2021 But since 2021 June been incurring losses through market manipulation techniques I.E.
I had been denied withdrawals/ buying or selling options, leveraging options from Capital.NLY

Which incurred me 6 Grand losses on June 2021 and God knows how much/many other investors BIG or small in all exchanges that this effected.
I also have evidence of numerous times the trading app has halted its trade for more then 30 minutes to an hour in a single day! But for these I have videos more then images
I am happy to hand it over if you tell me where to send it.
They kept ignoring me until a month ago in May the 10^th 2024 will touch base here later(miracle)
I have what’s app records of me trying to make complaints throughout the years with no redemption or straight answers.
I once spoke to an employee male & female one said, “We are experiencing some technical difficulties” this was about 1-2 years ago.
The Craziest thing was the ticker was moving in other exchanges just not in the one I was trading from.
Once it didn’t even open for 1.5 hours when it was open everywhere else
It finally opened at 10:49 how I know? I experienced this.
Under the FCA regulations all registered Trading Companies have a duty to protect investors from glitches and “technical difficulties”
Which They failed to do so for me I speak for myself and only what I have experienced.
The company even has glitched my leveraging system of 5-1 which was the setting since joining the company.
where, even if you pick 5-1 you only receive 2-1.
I have evidence of this as well & it’s not the first time either.
I know this has been done 100x of times if you take a Deeper Dive in the company’s own trading platform.
You won’t be able to find in other exchanges as other exchanges are working well so you cannot see the reason as its all “inter- linked”.
“Inter-linked “exchanges one falls apart whilst others are moving causing direct market manipulation.
Quoting blade runner “inter-linked”


Since then, I have been sent death threats anonymously.
Which also I can prove It was sent by him by connecting some dots with you
I met the owner in Wembley stadium in Corporate Box I was invited by Mr Stephen O
He contacted me and invited me to his corporate box on 8/6/24 I went there to find clarity as hackers have been going through my phones and social media with death threats.
Currently he is getting his hackers to find out where my siblings are and such as those are the type of questions I am getting in my social media platforms.
I call it phsing, smishing and vhising all 3 were used on my network.
Using carefully relaying questions in segment to build a definitive answer by narrowing down the wrong answers.
Like how it asks me what horoscope I am, Questions like use your initials to create a Japanese name.
Narrowing down an answer what every analytical mind would do.
I have been going through this since May 10^th after he contacted me.
I have said my name is J to every one of these questions should be in my social media history.
Notice how it says JJ DEAD MAN COVER
i.e
Notice how I met the Owner at 8/6/24 1 pm corporate box …there are plenty cameras there.
I like to be clear here I do not know this person or have his number for him to be coming to my social media as people “whom I know”.
I believe it was the vhising technique of his goons on hire you can see my history for the past month in call history I been getting scam calls left right and centre.
I will also give a copy of screen recording on request.
Then I went home and put a video of his trading app chart not moving like other exchanges for example having a 1-minute ticker symbol does not move for 30 minutes in graph line on my social media suddenly,
I see a people “whom you might know” soon after I posted the video.
I only went to the corporate box because he told me he has over 300 people retail traders coming which I was the only retail there apart from 5 millionaires 4 of which I believe they own the company only speculation whom others are currently.
But I felt an eerily vibe So I did not eat their food or take their hospitality which was probably funded by investors like me getting robbed blind because he thought no one would notice.
I also met a man there I spoke to him he told me His trading account was transferred to their platform.
The clue is there which accounts have been moved without consent or choice?
He will plan to bring all in one to have more control and doing this also erases all traces of manipulation in the trading platform it moved from a very sly way to delete history.
Should not affect me though I joined capital.com ticker symbol. NLY as my first and only trading app.
I have lost all history of my trade’s funds and even portfolios deleted without notice of consent why is he observing my account and why is he deleting everything without my consent? He knows he did me wrong that’s why because he uses capital.com to manipulate the market into his interest.
I can identify all 4 of them even though I only spoke to Mr S.O over the phone and only know their name.
I ended up being the only retail trader there, A poor man in a Billionaires Club
So out of place
I just can’t figure out why, Can you?
The ticker symbol has to be moving according to the time even if the price does not fluctuate the time has to keep moving like kinetic energy.
It has to be moving unless halted which can be only 35 minutes per day but I have counted over 1 hour gone in some days


I have been through mental trauma with hackers trying to hypnotize me with flashing lights and other spiral colour techniques mind you.
I am an epileptic which I grew out of when I was 15 which is highly reactive to epileptic people.
Miracle indeed, as many don't, certainly not after adult hood.

Also, they have tried to ask me questions to figure out whom I am on my social media,
I got closer to their crimes and my truth and they wanted to know what I know or make me join them as per the invitation I believe bribing me to survive another few years maybe?
Hope you Enjoyed the Corporate box Kenny it was from the money you stole from me!
Steal from the poor how dare you?
pushing pornographic and other Hypno/flashing light techniques to my social media platforms
also using racial harassment by calling me Paki Psycho
At least get the country right! Originally from Nepal BITCH Gurkhas Salute!
We both know whom we are now S.O
Which over the past 3 years have also caused me to lose everything…..
money, love, joy, sanity & dreams.
I have been Robbed constantly from these techniques they use also the withdrawal rejection from 10000 to even 100 this was very recently too. Have some images to reference this too.
I log almost everything I do.
That’s just how I found healing/clarity by writing it down.
I spoke to a person named Emma who told me to withdraw,
I have to show all my cards even the bank card “HSBC” which was bankrupt and stopped without consent.
Jokes on them I still had it Q.Q ahahaaha even after I showed them it didn’t work.
Until 3 days later after I lost 65% of my investment.
I like to point out, I mentioned to HSBC many times I am currently struggling and am willing to pay in an instalment plan.
What I can because I did not want my account to close ever as it would effect my credit score most indefinitely.
Also, the weirdest request was they asked me to show them a picture of the different Barclays Cards I have with the same account number.
saying it must be the same card but it’s the same account number same card basically so why?
I replied, I put the money from my apple pay send it back to my apple pay card he said please send us an email of all your cards indirectly refusing to let me withdraw whilst I am in profit.

So, I sent them by email which I should have on my email “for reference”.
He also mentioned he will be my account manager and watch my account after the first time he called me because I am a “premium” account.
I still am a premium account with minimum 5-1 leveraging glitched to 2-1 with only 400 pounds left in my account and still watches where and when as my judgement has been good when to buy.
Buy low sell high! Or just hold but I couldn’t do any of these.
I believe it took him this long for many years the issue was my real name and my social media are not the same people.
As I do not have a social media account anywhere with my real name.

He started taking control of my account and portfolios since the day he contacted me on 2024 May 5-15 around the same time I started losing again drastically.
Unfortunately, I cannot provide you how much money I had made in profits or losses because “My account manager of a premium account less then 50 grand had deleted all my portfolios and trade history to clear his name”.
My account portfolio was called Bullish-CFD
Glory CFD and 3 gbps cfds I ended up with one named GBP usd
How the name changed I do not know
I suspect he closed my shared and opened it in a different portfolio causing 8888 amc share sale in my account 1112 GME shares.
As these most of these shares were bought months ago which I believe he has to pay for borrowing he doesn’t have to pay if it was new trades, I suspect this happened here.
Why else would I not the Portfolio I had designated names on.
This can also explain why my trade history has been wiped.
I did not do this I did not consent this nor was I notified.
Let me make this clear I do not have any controls or jurisdiction to wipe my history of trades if you could compare with other users to see if they have been wiped out and why it has been wiped out as its detrimental for Securities Agency to have correct data of everything that is going on with trading exchanges.
Which makes me believe more in the investment of AMC & GME.
I also believe Mr S.O prior to 2 years ago before all these new rules started coming, he was using his trading account to artificially increase profits by making a profit/gain.
I.E you open a position in a stock that is about to split in the market or going through one.
Let’s say its 2 5-1 reverse split now its 10 he made 8 decimal gains instead of changing the shares according to the split.
This crime trick he used to manipulate the market ended when sundial went for a share split reverse.
I came to realise this when I ventured in a demo account, and it worked but I didn’t do it with real money as that is not the right way.
I am trying to be good doing it the right way.

I have worked physically demanding jobs for many years working 6 days -7 days per week doing 55-65 hours per week, killed my joy in life and even went without food to invest in this company as I believe in the Company board, company outlook and company fundamentals all 3 checks out as a great investment to my eyes a hat trick to a quad trick now.
Putting money in it almost every month in the past 3-4 years.
My journey ends here with my Losses from market manipulation but I will reveal the truth!!!
They have robbed us again and again even the government has been robbed.
just for their benefit ruined many people’s lives all over the world.
Especially now that the company managed to be stable and grow profits.
But the issue here is not my losses it’s the market manipulation.
the company is doing all they can to not close their losing trade which is the
THE BOX everyone is talking about, but no one is knowing about somebody may know though.
Maybe investigate their wives’ accounts and you might find it on a marginal line red line in this account.
The blonde lady. Wearing navy blue jeans. Bingo!
Mr Stephen O has tried bribing me in social media sending women over my home to seduce me but my dog did her job right! And sensed the intentions I know this because I had a media pushed through my social media saying do you want me to send you two women to seduce me in hiding his criminal behaviours but this is not about me
He has robbed millions of people .

I have evidence of this as well to turn it in his favour as I believe he is short on GameStop which is a direct Conflict of interest “the reasons why I am been having these trading technical issues “
Trying to turn you into a gambler not investor! By taking away the withdraw, buy or sell!!!
You see,
The universe spoke to me, and I am becoming the voice for everybody who are being robbed by this man.
Call it a sign, a cohencidence or just dumb luck!
I am not a messiah though I just uncovered the truth!
2 weeks before my birthday on May 10^th,, a stray kitten gave birth to 4 kittens and left only one behind. The squeeze began on my Birthday no fucking way!!!!!!!!
I/we have since, been taking care of her.
Meet My Newborn Kitten.

At 2 weeks old.

I also have a conspiracy theory on this as an attempt to harm my kitten.
To destroy me and make me stop trading.
I have frozen the medication Dr Elliot not a regular vet from that practice.
Well not the ones we see anyways 2 out 3 times.
My kitten was very ill shortly after taking the medication was also recommended to euthanised my kitten.
If you see her now you won’t believe why they would ever recommend this.
Of course, I argued and took control of the situation and saved her.
When I am back on my feet, I am going to a professional to check it out completely.
I like to remind you I already have a dog in this house for that cat to dare to come in my yard and give birth its like it was meant to be here cats? get it?
She is about 2.2 times her size now! Growing strong !!! just like GAMESTOP
CANT STOP WONT STOP GAME STOP
In Jesus name can I get AMEN!
b4 I continue...
I currently work as a civil engineer and am on the quest to turn my life around in my Pursuit of Happiness.
Thank heavens as I do not even hold a GCSE another miracle!
That I have this job.
I am a troubled child, but I still have dreams... of making it in life.
Which is providing my future wife and kids with everything I did not receive,
love, attention, guidance and more importantly a home they can sleep comfortably knowing they will have a place to sleep again tomorrow.
But I do not blame anyone as it was a first time for everyone being a father... a mother...even me a son just as guilty.
But I want you to keep reading this story… as it is very important if you have lost in the stock market as there are many other stocks that are missing in chart it was probably getting diluted for someone’s benefit to maybe stabilise their losing trading account.
I get the desperation that’s how I felt scrounging, borrowing money when I felt like I was about to be margin called totally human reaction.
The way he gained the money to stabilise it was totally criminal though.
I feel like he is digging himself a bigger and bigger hole and that hole is up some skunks arse hole by now.
I also like to point out Mr S.O has notified me that capital is a British company, but I have seen it being registered in the state of
This is the Final frontier.

My judgement was clouded by addiction made me do bad things...
I apologise to everyone I caused harm/inconvenience in the past and now.
I really am.
From the bottom of my heart.
my actions were clouded by addiction it took me more than a decade to defeat my heroin addiction.
At this sober state, now If you ask me anything; I’ll tell you even if it gets me in trouble
without a second thought.
I like to point out through out my columbo detective move I came across various information some even I should not know.
All I’m seeking is justice and peace right now and I hope someone can help me get this as I have proof for most of these speculations.
But I believe Mr S.O has been sending his hackers to feed numbers into my head by keep pushing it into my feed.
Because of this I purposely lost all my trades as I will not participate in insider trading sent by Mr S.O to convict me to silence.
Realising I was being watched by numerous people.
I went into a state of hallucinations, insanity.
It was hard but I crawled back out of the hackers infiltrating my device to corrupt my mind and decisions.
I suffer with anxiety and depression already too and have been suffering further since Mr S.O has called me.
I just didn’t know this before he called me, and all the pieces started to connect.

As this type of speculations and claims are only for the wealthy and privileged.
I know I am neither.
I am a very poor man with no land no inheritance no support.
Everything I earn is from these hands that push tools and this mind that tries to learn investing.
At my day job I give my 110% physically
at home
I work my mind 110% to try being an experienced smart investotrader as I know once I have knowledge and skill, I can make money easily after.
Currently, I am sharpening my day trading skills to further increase my knowledge from investor to a trader.
I earning ends meet living pay-check to pay-check and I will continue doing so to save earn invest and one day have a place, which my future family can call our home proudly safely.
But I still see the deep value in a growing company as the more room for growth the more gains the investment will make.
I learnt this from reading and following great investors of this decade I.E DFV videos of GameStop 3 years ago.
I especially like the one where we roll the 8 ball and just find a random ticker and analyse it you never know what dumb luck can bring you.
A school dropout like me to GameStop and I have learnt more things than I did in my lifetime.
You can learn anything in YouTube now amazing really we should use technology to assist us not work for us I strongly believe not use it for our own personal gain just because you have coders.
If you look through their trading app they chart doesn’t even revert the history into split prices SUPER MANIPULATION.

1 I love the stock/I believe in the stock.
2 the company has board members who doesn’t even get salary.
For this they have my trust of my investment and that they will do everything in their knowledge and power to make this company successful as toys brings “JOY” even to adults.

I kept putting more and more invested in this company, but the stock is being manipulated so it doesn’t work everyone will lose as how the conflict-of-interest person wants it he has survived until now because of this but there were no major leads of this I believe.
[Again, I am here to speak about GameStop and the TRUTH]()
I still see GameStop as a great investment.
The company survived Covid 19, also is profitable and stable currently.
With all the current market price fluctuations
Also the price has not dropped below 40! pre split price.
which further strengthens my speculation,
I currently own only 18 shares of GameStop I did have over a thousand.
But the company owners of; Capital.com ticker symbol NLY.
Have done everything they can to make me lose a winning investment.
They took my buy button my sell button and even stopped trading for more than 30 mins and hid it from none trading eyes in the bigger picture.
He also took my shares and diluted it I have incurred about 61 grand losses from my history of trading because of these market manipulation techniques over the past 3-4 years.
I as an investor a client of capital trading app was not treated fairly.
1 Even when I have raised complaints numerous time over the past 3-4 years was shrugged off because I am just well a NOBODY.
I call it a poor man's privileges.
2 Under FCA regulations Glitches or technical failures that cause financial harm to customers is a breach of this rule.
3 I am formally writing a complaint here and raising awareness with evidence of market manipulation!
would like support regarding the Law side of things and what i can recover from being ridiculed and robbed.
Using my food & leisure money to invest in this company.
I sacrificed my Joy for this investment with my hard earned money by working 50-60 hours a week labour 52 weeks per year non stop you can check my work rota records sometimes even 70 per week in physically demanding jobs.
1He has sent me Death threats today of what I am revealing now since meeting him in Wembley Stadium 8/6/26 (have a image of sending me death threats after meeting him today using paid hackers)
1 3/half weeks ago he called me to say I am in a premium account there are 300 of you and I would like to invite you to meet him today
which was really weird why is he putting my account on premium and saying He is going to look after it I am retail trader I have barely any money in account!
and deleted all my portfolio and trade history everything wiped clean!
+I suspect this was getting rid of evidence as I am right at the heart of the Griffin
I know why he took ownership from me without my consent and sold it without me knowing by derivatives and decreased the market value for his personal benefits.
Because he is already manipulating using this trading platform to control the prices elsewhere.
I have evidence of this you can only see it just DM me
if you look at the charts in their trading platform you can see it yourself to say it’s not photo shop.
no one else can notice it if you are not using the same app!!
+
2 Mr Stephen and his goons have been manipulating the stock since gamestop! 2021
+prior to 2 years ago his app would increase profits even from a split share!
I came across this information on 2022 You should recheck all files that are linked to him and splitting shares tickers as he has robbed them blind too.
I was the only retail investor, there alongside his corporate buddies which I am happy to identify and stand as witness.
I felt safe though as I don't even Fear the Darkest Night as I always walked by faith and believed in God has a purpose for me too..
A nobody like me maybe could be somebody one day!

(all hail great DFV) got to pay your respects !
I learnt trading since 2021
“Once there was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to a baker every week.
After several weeks of purchasing butter from the farmer the baker decided to weigh it. To insure it was indeed a full pound.
When he weighed it, he discovered the butter felt short of a pound which enraged him and made him feel cheated and decided to take the farmer to court.
The judge asked the farmer what his method is of weighing the butter.
the farmer replied “your honour, I am poor I do not own any exact measuring tool.
How ever I do have a Scale.
The judge then inquired if the farmer uses the scale to measure the butter the farmer explained.
“Your honour I have been buying a 1 pound of loaf from the baker Long before he began purchasing butter from me,
When ever he brings the bread, I place it on the scale and measure out the same weight to give him in return.
So, if the baker is not receiving a pound of butter he is also not delivering a pound of bread as promised.
The moral you get what you give if you try to cheat others of what they promised them.
You will be cheated in return.

KARMA IS REAL AND KARMA WILL PUNISH ALL OF YOU WILL GO PRISON

I've been meaning to share the news with this subreddit for months, but amazing stuff kept happening and now I'm not really sure how to structure this post.
I guess I'll start with my upbringing. Starting in the 2nd grade I was raised in the Institute of Basic Life Principles. Yes, the "Duggar cult" Shiny Happy People is about. My mom stopped teaching math and science in the 5th grade, and all my reading/writing was either old English or scripture based. We never touched history. I didn't know what the scientific method was until last year. I "graduated" in 2018 and immediately went into trade, hoping to start a landscape business. It failed.
In 2020 I took an Oregon State University course and earned my Permaculture Design certificate. Immediately, I started getting involved with community gardens and environmental organizations, building my political literacy. I also realized what had happened to me and started seeing a therapist specialized in religious trauma. Undoing all that trauma has resulted in memory issues.

1. I start online community community college in the middle of my friend's wedding. I went in as a Political Science major, but switched to English. Nobody told me how anything worked, so I found myself saying stuff like "I'm going to transfer to Stanford" or "I'm going to keep a perfect GPA" without any idea of how much work that would require. I ended up not being able to even apply to private schools and honors programs because my high school transcripts weren't accredited.

I'll do bullet points from here:

• I got my first writing feature in 2022 for a poem. I would then become that journal's poetry editor for its Spring 2024 issue.
• I became a writing tutor at my college in 2022. The next year, I was awarded a scholarship by the college's Latinx union (I'm bicultural: Anglo-Chicano descent).
• My poems and memoirs have been featured in 10 literary journals and indie magazines. If you're curious, my poem about homeschooling and alternate universes was published in Eucalyptus Lit.
• On my birthday, April 19th, I was accepted into UC Berkeley! I ended up getting accepted to every other school I applied to, including UCSB and UCLA, with a 4.0 GPA.
• That same week I won the Dean's Medallion for the Humanities Division at my college. For context, this is their version of valediction and is the highest honor they can bestow to a student in their division.
• An article was written about me!

None of this has been easy but it's been so, so worth it. This semester in particular has been really difficult. The fact I stepped away from my faith and rejected "God's plan" makes me, on some level, a failure by IBLP's standards. It hurts me some days even though I've moved on. The ego wants to prove the people who've wronged us wrong. But nobody envisioned me to go this far. I did this for myself. I knew I deserved a better and more fulfilling life even if I wasn't "qualified" yet. There's been a lot of rejection and heartbreak along the way, but I don't have any regrets.
Anyway, thank you for letting me share my success here! I see a lot of pessimism and anger in this subreddit and I just want to say that's a completely normal feeling to have. As one of my mentors said, "Rage is not rage, it's hurt." I have my weak moments, too. My pain just shows how bad the abandonment was. But you always have this random guy on the internet to cheer you on when you try something unconformable or decide on pursuing the education you never had. It's a brave thing, really. Sometimes the expectations our family has for us is the thing blocking our own light.

Throw back to 2020. My husband at the time 22M and I 21F had just gotten engaged, graduated college, and began searching for houses. At the time, we were living with my parents. A little back story, back in college 2017 we had just bought a dog and were living in an apartment when we found it had mold. I was sick from it. My parents told me that my dog would die from it if we didn't leave and insisted we move in with them and commute 30 minutes to college. To which I agreed. I am their only child btw. I had a rough upbringing. I thought I was just rebellious but am realizing now they are control freaks. My dad told me when I was 16 that he put a gun to his head outside and almost pulled the trigger and it would have been my fault. My mom called me fat multiple times, forced me into pageants i didn't want to do. she saw my bf kissing me once and wouldn't talk to me for 3 months, couldn't even be in the same room as me or look at me without crying. Oh and she kept saying it's just my first wedding every chance she got. They both told me that being a labor and delivery RN is gay and that I would be a terrible nurse, but I have proved them wrong. There is much more in between all of this but here's some.
My husband and I were searching for houses, we were going to buy one when we told my parents we'd be moving out. They begged us to stay, said we could transform the garage into a living space and they would move out there. They said they would sign the house over to us. My husband was fond of the idea since he didn't want to live in a neighborhood and my parents have 10 acres. I was not fond of it, but knew we would save money in the long run. So we got a contractor and cashed out my husbands inheritance from his deceased father (he died when my husband was 18). I used all of my savings to help pay. It amounted to about 100k after everything.
As soon as we paid, my parents demeanor changed. They became rude and insensitive, saying all sorts of horrendous things. They began heavy drinking mid 2020 because my Grandma died and their life was over. Come to find out, they wouldn't have been able to afford living here if we hadn't taken over. My dad has health problems, but my mom has been perfectly healthy just refuses to work and has had excuses why she hasn't worked for years.
The drinking got worse, my dad called me a bitch for not wanting to pay $7k for painters. I told them we would paint it ourselves. It wasn't good enough for them. They have caused fights about us throwing out a paint can, screaming "one hundred dollars isn't a lot to you but it is to us" and proceeded to say they "don't know how its going to work here" and that they might just take us off everything.
Flash forward to today I'm currently pregnant with our first two children, we are here and they haven't signed the house over. They claim they are trying to merge the property from my Grandma to their house then they will sign it over. We put an additional 50k into much needed upkeep that they fell short on for 30 years. Everyone of my dad's sisters hates him because they feel they were treated unfairly when his mother died. All of my mom's siblings hate her because she convinced my grandma to write her brother out of the property inheritance so he only got his father's side of it. So everyone in the family hates them, but they still sit there and act like saints because they helped take care of both of my grandma's in their end of life.
We have had many fights over the dumbest shit. I could go into so many details but we would run out of space. They have made claims that we're taking advantage of them, how they've sacrificed so much and we haven't done anything for them. They blew their top over a paint can saying "100 dollars isn't much to you but it is to us!" They have threatened to not add us on the house and have said multiple times this isn't going to work. Even better my dad and mom refused to stop smoking and drinking around my babies because "it doesn't affect them". I used to visit every day before I got pregnant and was super sick. But now I visit once a week. But that seems to not be good enough.
It was my baby shower today. Keep in mind, my mom didn't throw me a bridal shower and claimed she was too busy with the renovation even though my husband and I were handling everything. She didn't offer to throw me a baby shower either. My husbands Grandma and my friend did.
Last night I texted my Mom saying that we would be leaving at 9. I figured we would be riding together since we live together and she is going to be a Grandma. Well, my mom ignored me and had my father text me. He told me that she won't be riding with me and she will be riding with a cousin. I told him I think that looks poor given she is the Grandma and shouldn't be arriving with other guests. He texted me saying my husband told him that we can't give my mom a ride. I know this is not true.
What happened was that my husband took the dogs out and at the time had a lot on his mind from work. My dad said my Mom will need a ride to the shower. My Mom insisted she didn't and would drive herself (their car is old and breaking which they have also insinuated that we should be buying them a car). My husband said that either way works and just let us know. Continuing, my father told me that he doesn't want to leave anything to us because of this. And I left it at that.
In the morning, my Mom texted saying she wants to ride with us which we agreed. She never apologized for the behavior or anything, just pretended like nothing was wrong.
My shower was less than ok. My entire family breezed past me, barely asked about my pregnancy or the babies and talked to my Mom. I sat in the corner with my friend and husbands Grandma while my Mom entertained all of them. She excluded my husbands Grandma from the main dining table and spent an hour talking about how hard her life is with my Dad and his health problems. "Nobody knows what I go through" she says.
The shower basically felt like a show for her. My cousin said "I heard you and (my Dad) built a tiny house. That must have been expensive." My mom says "yeah we did!" I walked over and said that MY husband and I paid for it. it was asked why my husband and I aren't living in a one bedroom house or if we will build a new one. I told them it wasn't our idea and we spent our entire savings on it so we have no money left to build a house.
My mom didn't sit by me or take one picture with me prior to this or after.
After the shower, everyone left and I said to my mom that I wasn't aware everyone was under the impression that they paid for everything. She screamed to of her lungs "YOU can't KEEP DOING THIS TO ME!" My husbands Grandpa definitely heard. So do you think she's in the right and has scarified more than I have?
I am getting tired of the threats and becoming more concerned that they will try to evict us even though we pay the gas, electric, wifi, and television bills. With these babies coming soon, I don't know what to do. It would bankrupt us leaving without our money back and buying a new house. Do I have a case?

Throw back to 2020. My husband at the time 22M and I 21F had just gotten engaged, graduated college, and began searching for houses. At the time, we were living with my parents. A little back story, back in college 2017 we had just bought a dog and were living in an apartment when we found it had mold. I was sick from it. My parents told me that my dog would die from it if we didn't leave and insisted we move in with them and commute 30 minutes to college. To which I agreed. I am their only child btw. I had a rough upbringing. I thought I was just rebellious but am realizing now they are control freaks. My dad told me when I was 16 that he put a gun to his head outside and almost pulled the trigger and it would have been my fault. My mom called me fat multiple times, forced me into pageants i didn't want to do. she saw my bf kissing me once and wouldn't talk to me for 3 months, couldn't even be in the same room as me or look at me without crying. Oh and she kept saying it's just my first wedding every chance she got. They both told me that being a labor and delivery RN is gay and that I would be a terrible nurse, but I have proved them wrong. There is much more in between all of this but here's some.
My husband and I were searching for houses, we were going to buy one when we told my parents we'd be moving out. They begged us to stay, said we could transform the garage into a living space and they would move out there. They said they would sign the house over to us. My husband was fond of the idea since he didn't want to live in a neighborhood and my parents have 10 acres. I was not fond of it, but knew we would save money in the long run. So we got a contractor and cashed out my husbands inheritance from his deceased father (he died when my husband was 18). I used all of my savings to help pay. It amounted to about 100k after everything.
As soon as we paid, my parents demeanor changed. They became rude and insensitive, saying all sorts of horrendous things. They began heavy drinking mid 2020 because my Grandma died and their life was over. Come to find out, they wouldn't have been able to afford living here if we hadn't taken over. My dad has health problems, but my mom has been perfectly healthy just refuses to work and has had excuses why she hasn't worked for years.
The drinking got worse, my dad called me a bitch for not wanting to pay $7k for painters. I told them we would paint it ourselves. It wasn't good enough for them. They have caused fights about us throwing out a paint can, screaming "one hundred dollars isn't a lot to you but it is to us" and proceeded to say they "don't know how its going to work here" and that they might just take us off everything.
Flash forward to today I'm currently pregnant with our first two children, we are here and they haven't signed the house over. They claim they are trying to merge the property from my Grandma to their house then they will sign it over. We put an additional 50k into much needed upkeep that they fell short on for 30 years. Everyone of my dad's sisters hates him because they feel they were treated unfairly when his mother died. All of my mom's siblings hate her because she convinced my grandma to write her brother out of the property inheritance so he only got his father's side of it. So everyone in the family hates them, but they still sit there and act like saints because they helped take care of both of my grandma's in their end of life.
We have had many fights over the dumbest shit. I could go into so many details but we would run out of space. They have made claims that we're taking advantage of them, how they've sacrificed so much and we haven't done anything for them. They blew their top over a paint can saying "100 dollars isn't much to you but it is to us!" They have threatened to not add us on the house and have said multiple times this isn't going to work. Even better my dad and mom refused to stop smoking and drinking around my babies because "it doesn't affect them". I used to visit every day before I got pregnant and was super sick. But now I visit once a week. But that seems to not be good enough.
It was my baby shower today. Keep in mind, my mom didn't throw me a bridal shower and claimed she was too busy with the renovation even though my husband and I were handling everything. She didn't offer to throw me a baby shower either. My husbands Grandma and my friend did.
Last night I texted my Mom saying that we would be leaving at 9. I figured we would be riding together since we live together and she is going to be a Grandma. Well, my mom ignored me and had my father text me. He told me that she won't be riding with me and she will be riding with a cousin. I told him I think that looks poor given she is the Grandma and shouldn't be arriving with other guests. He texted me saying my husband told him that we can't give my mom a ride. I know this is not true.
What happened was that my husband took the dogs out and at the time had a lot on his mind from work. My dad said my Mom will need a ride to the shower. My Mom insisted she didn't and would drive herself (their car is old and breaking which they have also insinuated that we should be buying them a car). My husband said that either way works and just let us know. Continuing, my father told me that he doesn't want to leave anything to us because of this. And I left it at that.
In the morning, my Mom texted saying she wants to ride with us which we agreed. She never apologized for the behavior or anything, just pretended like nothing was wrong.
My shower was less than ok. My entire family breezed past me, barely asked about my pregnancy or the babies and talked to my Mom. I sat in the corner with my friend and husbands Grandma while my Mom entertained all of them. She excluded my husbands Grandma from the main dining table and spent an hour talking about how hard her life is with my Dad and his health problems. "Nobody knows what I go through" she says.
The shower basically felt like a show for her. My cousin said "I heard you and (my Dad) built a tiny house. That must have been expensive." My mom says "yeah we did!" I walked over and said that MY husband and I paid for it. it was asked why my husband and I aren't living in a one bedroom house or if we will build a new one. I told them it wasn't our idea and we spent our entire savings on it so we have no money left to build a house.
My mom didn't sit by me or take one picture with me prior to this or after.
After the shower, everyone left and I said to my mom that I wasn't aware everyone was under the impression that they paid for everything. She screamed to of her lungs "YOU can't KEEP DOING THIS TO ME!" My husbands Grandpa definitely heard. So do you think she's in the right and has scarified more than I have?
I am getting tired of the threats and becoming more concerned that they will try to evict us even though we pay the gas, electric, wifi, and television bills. With these babies coming soon, I don't know what to do. It would bankrupt us leaving without our money back and buying a new house. Am I ungrateful and in the wrong?

Throw back to 2020. My husband at the time 22M and I 21F had just gotten engaged, graduated college, and began searching for houses. At the time, we were living with my parents. A little back story, back in college 2017 we had just bought a dog and were living in an apartment when we found it had mold. I was sick from it. My parents told me that my dog would die from it if we didn't leave and insisted we move in with them and commute 30 minutes to college. To which I agreed. I am their only child btw. I had a rough upbringing. I thought I was just rebellious but am realizing now they are control freaks. My dad told me when I was 16 that he put a gun to his head outside and almost pulled the trigger and it would have been my fault. My mom called me fat multiple times, forced me into pageants i didn't want to do. she saw my bf kissing me once and wouldn't talk to me for 3 months, couldn't even be in the same room as me or look at me without crying. Oh and she kept saying it's just my first wedding every chance she got. They both told me that being a labor and delivery RN is gay and that I would be a terrible nurse, but I have proved them wrong. There is much more in between all of this but here's some.
My husband and I were searching for houses, we were going to buy one when we told my parents we'd be moving out. They begged us to stay, said we could transform the garage into a living space and they would move out there. They said they would sign the house over to us. My husband was fond of the idea since he didn't want to live in a neighborhood and my parents have 10 acres. I was not fond of it, but knew we would save money in the long run. So we got a contractor and cashed out my husbands inheritance from his deceased father (he died when my husband was 18). I used all of my savings to help pay. It amounted to about 100k after everything.
As soon as we paid, my parents demeanor changed. They became rude and insensitive, saying all sorts of horrendous things. They began heavy drinking mid 2020 because my Grandma died and their life was over. Come to find out, they wouldn't have been able to afford living here if we hadn't taken over. My dad has health problems, but my mom has been perfectly healthy just refuses to work and has had excuses why she hasn't worked for years.
The drinking got worse, my dad called me a bitch for not wanting to pay $7k for painters. I told them we would paint it ourselves. It wasn't good enough for them. They have caused fights about us throwing out a paint can, screaming "one hundred dollars isn't a lot to you but it is to us" and proceeded to say they "don't know how its going to work here" and that they might just take us off everything.
Flash forward to today I'm currently pregnant with our first two children, we are here and they haven't signed the house over. They claim they are trying to merge the property from my Grandma to their house then they will sign it over. We put an additional 50k into much needed upkeep that they fell short on for 30 years. Everyone of my dad's sisters hates him because they feel they were treated unfairly when his mother died. All of my mom's siblings hate her because she convinced my grandma to write her brother out of the property inheritance so he only got his father's side of it. So everyone in the family hates them, but they still sit there and act like saints because they helped take care of both of my grandma's in their end of life.
We have had many fights over the dumbest shit. I could go into so many details but we would run out of space. They have made claims that we're taking advantage of them, how they've sacrificed so much and we haven't done anything for them. They blew their top over a paint can saying "100 dollars isn't much to you but it is to us!" They have threatened to not add us on the house and have said multiple times this isn't going to work. Even better my dad and mom refused to stop smoking and drinking around my babies because "it doesn't affect them". I used to visit every day before I got pregnant and was super sick. But now I visit once a week. But that seems to not be good enough.
It was my baby shower today. Keep in mind, my mom didn't throw me a bridal shower and claimed she was too busy with the renovation even though my husband and I were handling everything. She didn't offer to throw me a baby shower either. My husbands Grandma and my friend did.
Last night I texted my Mom saying that we would be leaving at 9. I figured we would be riding together since we live together and she is going to be a Grandma. Well, my mom ignored me and had my father text me. He told me that she won't be riding with me and she will be riding with a cousin. I told him I think that looks poor given she is the Grandma and shouldn't be arriving with other guests. He texted me saying my husband told him that we can't give my mom a ride. I know this is not true.
What happened was that my husband took the dogs out and at the time had a lot on his mind from work. My dad said my Mom will need a ride to the shower. My Mom insisted she didn't and would drive herself (their car is old and breaking which they have also insinuated that we should be buying them a car). My husband said that either way works and just let us know. Continuing, my father told me that he doesn't want to leave anything to us because of this. And I left it at that.
In the morning, my Mom texted saying she wants to ride with us which we agreed. She never apologized for the behavior or anything, just pretended like nothing was wrong.
My shower was less than ok. My entire family breezed past me, barely asked about my pregnancy or the babies and talked to my Mom. I sat in the corner with my friend and husbands Grandma while my Mom entertained all of them. She excluded my husbands Grandma from the main dining table and spent an hour talking about how hard her life is with my Dad and his health problems. "Nobody knows what I go through" she says.
The shower basically felt like a show for her. My cousin said "I heard you and (my Dad) built a tiny house. That must have been expensive." My mom says "yeah we did!" I walked over and said that MY husband and I paid for it. it was asked why my husband and I aren't living in a one bedroom house or if we will build a new one. I told them it wasn't our idea and we spent our entire savings on it so we have no money left to build a house.
My mom didn't sit by me or take one picture with me prior to this or after.
After the shower, everyone left and I said to my mom that I wasn't aware everyone was under the impression that they paid for everything. She screamed to of her lungs "YOU can't KEEP DOING THIS TO ME!" My husbands Grandpa definitely heard. So do you think she's in the right and has scarified more than I have?
I am getting tired of the threats and becoming more concerned that they will try to evict us even though we pay the gas, electric, wifi, and television bills. With these babies coming soon, I don't know what to do. It would bankrupt us leaving without our money back and buying a new house. Am I ungrateful and in the wrong?

Throw back to 2020. My husband at the time 22M and I 21F had just gotten engaged, graduated college, and began searching for houses. At the time, we were living with my parents. A little back story, back in college 2017 we had just bought a dog and were living in an apartment when we found it had mold. I was sick from it. My parents told me that my dog would die from it if we didn't leave and insisted we move in with them and commute 30 minutes to college. To which I agreed. I am their only child btw. I had a rough upbringing. I thought I was just rebellious but am realizing now they are control freaks. My dad told me when I was 16 that he put a gun to his head outside and almost pulled the trigger and it would have been my fault. My mom called me fat multiple times, forced me into pageants i didn't want to do. she saw my bf kissing me once and wouldn't talk to me for 3 months, couldn't even be in the same room as me or look at me without crying. Oh and she kept saying it's just my first wedding every chance she got. They both told me that being a labor and delivery RN is gay and that I would be a terrible nurse, but I have proved them wrong. There is much more in between all of this but here's some.
My husband and I were searching for houses, we were going to buy one when we told my parents we'd be moving out. They begged us to stay, said we could transform the garage into a living space and they would move out there. They said they would sign the house over to us. My husband was fond of the idea since he didn't want to live in a neighborhood and my parents have 10 acres. I was not fond of it, but knew we would save money in the long run. So we got a contractor and cashed out my husbands inheritance from his deceased father (he died when my husband was 18). I used all of my savings to help pay. It amounted to about 100k after everything.
As soon as we paid, my parents demeanor changed. They became rude and insensitive, saying all sorts of horrendous things. They began heavy drinking mid 2020 because my Grandma died and their life was over. Come to find out, they wouldn't have been able to afford living here if we hadn't taken over. My dad has health problems, but my mom has been perfectly healthy just refuses to work and has had excuses why she hasn't worked for years.
The drinking got worse, my dad called me a bitch for not wanting to pay $7k for painters. I told them we would paint it ourselves. It wasn't good enough for them. They have caused fights about us throwing out a paint can, screaming "one hundred dollars isn't a lot to you but it is to us" and proceeded to say they "don't know how its going to work here" and that they might just take us off everything.
Flash forward to today I'm currently pregnant with our first two children, we are here and they haven't signed the house over. They claim they are trying to merge the property from my Grandma to their house then they will sign it over. We put an additional 50k into much needed upkeep that they fell short on for 30 years. Everyone of my dad's sisters hates him because they feel they were treated unfairly when his mother died. All of my mom's siblings hate her because she convinced my grandma to write her brother out of the property inheritance so he only got his father's side of it. So everyone in the family hates them, but they still sit there and act like saints because they helped take care of both of my grandma's in their end of life.
We have had many fights over the dumbest shit. I could go into so many details but we would run out of space. They have made claims that we're taking advantage of them, how they've sacrificed so much and we haven't done anything for them. They blew their top over a paint can saying "100 dollars isn't much to you but it is to us!" They have threatened to not add us on the house and have said multiple times this isn't going to work. Even better my dad and mom refused to stop smoking and drinking around my babies because "it doesn't affect them". I used to visit every day before I got pregnant and was super sick. But now I visit once a week. But that seems to not be good enough.
It was my baby shower today. Keep in mind, my mom didn't throw me a bridal shower and claimed she was too busy with the renovation even though my husband and I were handling everything. She didn't offer to throw me a baby shower either. My husbands Grandma and my friend did.
Last night I texted my Mom saying that we would be leaving at 9. I figured we would be riding together since we live together and she is going to be a Grandma. Well, my mom ignored me and had my father text me. He told me that she won't be riding with me and she will be riding with a cousin. I told him I think that looks poor given she is the Grandma and shouldn't be arriving with other guests. He texted me saying my husband told him that we can't give my mom a ride. I know this is not true.
What happened was that my husband took the dogs out and at the time had a lot on his mind from work. My dad said my Mom will need a ride to the shower. My Mom insisted she didn't and would drive herself (their car is old and breaking which they have also insinuated that we should be buying them a car). My husband said that either way works and just let us know. Continuing, my father told me that he doesn't want to leave anything to us because of this. And I left it at that.
In the morning, my Mom texted saying she wants to ride with us which we agreed. She never apologized for the behavior or anything, just pretended like nothing was wrong.
My shower was less than ok. My entire family breezed past me, barely asked about my pregnancy or the babies and talked to my Mom. I sat in the corner with my friend and husbands Grandma while my Mom entertained all of them. She excluded my husbands Grandma from the main dining table and spent an hour talking about how hard her life is with my Dad and his health problems. "Nobody knows what I go through" she says.
The shower basically felt like a show for her. My cousin said "I heard you and (my Dad) built a tiny house. That must have been expensive." My mom says "yeah we did!" I walked over and said that MY husband and I paid for it. it was asked why my husband and I aren't living in a one bedroom house or if we will build a new one. I told them it wasn't our idea and we spent our entire savings on it so we have no money left to build a house.
My mom didn't sit by me or take one picture with me prior to this or after.
After the shower, everyone left and I said to my mom that I wasn't aware everyone was under the impression that they paid for everything. She screamed to of her lungs "YOU can't KEEP DOING THIS TO ME!" My husbands Grandpa definitely heard. So do you think she's in the right and has scarified more than I have?
I am getting tired of the threats and becoming more concerned that they will try to evict us even though we pay the gas, electric, wifi, and television bills. With these babies coming soon, I don't know what to do. It would bankrupt us leaving without our money back and buying a new house. Am I ungrateful and in the wrong?

Throw back to 2020. My husband at the time 22M and I 21F had just gotten engaged, graduated college, and began searching for houses. At the time, we were living with my parents. A little back story, back in college we had just bought a dog and were living in an apartment when we found it had mold. I was sick from it. My parents told me that my dog would die from it if we didn't leave and insisted we move in with them and commute 30 minutes to college. To which I agreed. I am their only child btw. I had a rough upbringing. I thought I was just rebellious but am realizing now they are control freaks. My dad told me when I was 16 that he put a gun to his head outside and almost pulled the trigger and it would have been my fault. My mom called me fat multiple times, forced me into pageants i didn't want to do. she saw my bf kissing me once and wouldn't talk to me for 3 months, couldn't even be in the same room as me or look at me without crying. Oh and she kept saying it's just my first wedding every chance she got. They both told me that being a labor and delivery RN is gay and that I would be a terrible nurse, but I have proved them wrong. There is much more in between all of this but here's some.
My husband and I were searching for houses, we were going to buy one when we told my parents we'd be moving out. They begged us to stay, said we could transform the garage into a living space and they would move out there. They said they would sign the house over to us. My husband was fond of the idea since he didn't want to live in a neighborhood and my parents have 10 acres. I was not fond of it, but knew we would save money in the long run. So we got a contractor and cashed out my husbands inheritance from his deceased father (he died when my husband was 18). I used all of my savings to help pay. It amounted to about 100k after everything.
As soon as we paid, my parents demeanor changed. They became rude and insensitive, saying all sorts of horrendous things. They began heavy drinking mid 2020 because my Grandma died and their life was over.
The drinking got worse, my dad called me a bitch for not wanting to pay $7k for painters. I told them we would paint it ourselves. It wasn't good enough for them. They have caused fights about us throwing out a paint can, screaming "one hundred dollars isn't a lot to you but it is to us" and proceeded to say they "don't know how its going to work here" and that they might just take us off everything.
Flash forward to many stupid fights later, we are here and they haven't signed the house over. They claim they are trying to merge the property from my Grandma to their house then they will sign it over. We put an additional 50k into much needed upkeep that they fell short on for 30 years. I'm currently pregnant with our first two children.
We have had many fights over the dumbest shit. I could go into so many details but we would run out of space. They have made claims that we're taking advantage of them, how they've sacrificed so much and we haven't done anything for them. They blew their top over a paint can saying "100 dollars isn't much to you but it is to us!" They have threatened to not add us on the house and have said multiple times this isn't going to work. Even better my dad and mom refused to stop smoking and drinking around my babies because "it doesn't affect them". I used to visit every day before I got pregnant and was super sick. But now I visit once a week. But that seems to not be good enough.
It was my baby shower today. Keep in mind, my mom didn't throw me a bridal shower and claimed she was too busy with the renovation even though my husband and I were handling everything. She didn't offer to throw me a baby shower either. My husbands Grandma and my friend did.
Last night I texted my Mom saying that we would be leaving at 9. I figured we would be riding together since we live together and she is going to be a Grandma. Well, my mom ignored me and had my father text me. He told me that she won't be riding with me and she will be riding with a cousin. I told him I think that looks poor given she is the Grandma and shouldn't be arriving with other guests. He texted me saying my husband told him that we can't give my mom a ride. I know this is not true.
What happened was that my husband took the dogs out and at the time had a lot on his mind from work. My dad said my Mom will need a ride to the shower. My Mom insisted she didn't and would drive herself (their car is old and breaking which they have also insinuated that we should be buying them a car). My husband said that either way works and just let us know. Continuing, my father told me that he doesn't want to leave anything to us because of this. And I left it at that.
In the morning, my Mom texted saying she wants to ride with us which we agreed. She never apologized for the behavior or anything, just pretended like nothing was wrong.
My shower was less than ok. My entire family breezed past me, barely asked about my pregnancy or the babies and talked to my Mom. I sat in the corner with my friend and husbands Grandma while my Mom entertained all of them. She excluded my husbands Grandma from the main dining table and spent an hour talking about how hard her life is with my Dad and his health problems. "Nobody knows what I go through" she says.
The shower basically felt like a show for her. My cousin said "I heard you and (my Dad) built a tiny house. That must have been expensive." My mom says "yeah we did!" I walked over and said that MY husband and I paid for it. it was asked why my husband and I aren't living in a one bedroom house or if we will build a new one. I told them it wasn't our idea and we spent our entire savings on it so we have no money left to build a house.
My mom didn't sit by me or take one picture with me prior to this or after.
After the shower, everyone left and I said to my mom that I wasn't aware everyone was under the impression that they paid for everything. She screamed to of her lungs "YOU can't KEEP DOING THIS TO ME!" My husbands Grandpa definitely heard. So do you think she's in the right and has scarified more than I have?
I am getting tired of the threats and becoming more concerned that they will try to evict us even though we pay the gas, electric, wifi, and television bills. With these babies coming soon, I don't know what to do. It would bankrupt us leaving without our money back and buying a new house. Am I ungrateful and in the wrong?

Throw back to 2020. My husband at the time 22M and I 21F had just gotten engaged, graduated college, and began searching for houses. At the time, we were living with my parents. A little back story, back in college we had just bought a dog and were living in an apartment when we found it had mold. I was sick from it. My parents told me that my dog would die from it if we didn't leave and insisted we move in with them and commute 30 minutes to college. To which I agreed. I am their only child btw. I had a rough upbringing. I thought I was just rebellious but am realizing now they are control freaks. My dad told me when I was 16 that he put a gun to his head outside and almost pulled the trigger and it would have been my fault. My mom called me fat multiple times, forced me into pageants i didn't want to do. she saw my bf kissing me once and wouldn't talk to me for 3 months, couldn't even be in the same room as me or look at me without crying. Oh and she kept saying it's just my first wedding every chance she got. They both told me that being a labor and delivery RN is gay and that I would be a terrible nurse, but I have proved them wrong. There is much more in between all of this but here's some.
My husband and I were searching for houses, we were going to buy one when we told my parents we'd be moving out. They begged us to stay, said we could transform the garage into a living space and they would move out there. They said they would sign the house over to us. My husband was fond of the idea since he didn't want to live in a neighborhood and my parents have 10 acres. I was not fond of it, but knew we would save money in the long run. So we got a contractor and cashed out my husbands inheritance from his deceased father (he died when my husband was 18). I used all of my savings to help pay. It amounted to about 100k after everything.
As soon as we paid, my parents demeanor changed. They became rude and insensitive, saying all sorts of horrendous things. They began heavy drinking mid 2020 because my Grandma died and their life was over.
The drinking got worse, my dad called me a bitch for not wanting to pay $7k for painters. I told them we would paint it ourselves. It wasn't good enough for them. They have caused fights about us throwing out a paint can, screaming "one hundred dollars isn't a lot to you but it is to us" and proceeded to say they "don't know how its going to work here" and that they might just take us off everything.
Flash forward to many stupid fights later, we are here and they haven't signed the house over. They claim they are trying to merge the property from my Grandma to their house then they will sign it over. We put an additional 50k into much needed upkeep that they fell short on for 30 years. I'm currently pregnant with our first two children.
We have had many fights over the dumbest shit. I could go into so many details but we would run out of space. They have made claims that we're taking advantage of them, how they've sacrificed so much and we haven't done anything for them. They blew their top over a paint can saying "100 dollars isn't much to you but it is to us!" They have threatened to not add us on the house and have said multiple times this isn't going to work. Even better my dad and mom refused to stop smoking and drinking around my babies because "it doesn't affect them". I used to visit every day before I got pregnant and was super sick. But now I visit once a week. But that seems to not be good enough.
It was my baby shower today. Keep in mind, my mom didn't throw me a bridal shower and claimed she was too busy with the renovation even though my husband and I were handling everything. She didn't offer to throw me a baby shower either. My husbands Grandma and my friend did.
Last night I texted my Mom saying that we would be leaving at 9. I figured we would be riding together since we live together and she is going to be a Grandma. Well, my mom ignored me and had my father text me. He told me that she won't be riding with me and she will be riding with a cousin. I told him I think that looks poor given she is the Grandma and shouldn't be arriving with other guests. He texted me saying my husband told him that we can't give my mom a ride. I know this is not true.
What happened was that my husband took the dogs out and at the time had a lot on his mind from work. My dad said my Mom will need a ride to the shower. My Mom insisted she didn't and would drive herself (their car is old and breaking which they have also insinuated that we should be buying them a car). My husband said that either way works and just let us know. Continuing, my father told me that he doesn't want to leave anything to us because of this. And I left it at that.
In the morning, my Mom texted saying she wants to ride with us which we agreed. She never apologized for the behavior or anything, just pretended like nothing was wrong.
My shower was less than ok. My entire family breezed past me, barely asked about my pregnancy or the babies and talked to my Mom. I sat in the corner with my friend and husbands Grandma while my Mom entertained all of them. She excluded my husbands Grandma from the main dining table and spent an hour talking about how hard her life is with my Dad and his health problems. "Nobody knows what I go through" she says.
The shower basically felt like a show for her. My cousin said "I heard you and (my Dad) built a tiny house. That must have been expensive." My mom says "yeah we did!" I walked over and said that MY husband and I paid for it. it was asked why my husband and I aren't living in a one bedroom house or if we will build a new one. I told them it wasn't our idea and we spent our entire savings on it so we have no money left to build a house.
My mom didn't sit by me or take one picture with me prior to this or after.
After the shower, everyone left and I said to my mom that I wasn't aware everyone was under the impression that they paid for everything. She screamed to of her lungs "YOU can't KEEP DOING THIS TO ME!" My husbands Grandpa definitely heard. So do you think she's in the right and has scarified more than I have?
I am getting tired of the threats and becoming more concerned that they will try to evict us even though we pay the gas, electric, wifi, and television bills. With these babies coming soon, I don't know what to do. It would bankrupt us leaving without our money back and buying a new house. Am I ungrateful and in the wrong?

Throw back to 2020. My husband at the time 22M and I 21F had just gotten engaged, graduated college, and began searching for houses. At the time, we were living with my parents. A little back story, back in college we had just bought a dog and were living in an apartment when we found it had mold. I was sick from it. My parents told me that my dog would die from it if we didn't leave and insisted we move in with them and commute 30 minutes to college. To which I agreed. I am their only child btw. I had a rough upbringing. I thought I was just rebellious but am realizing now they are control freaks. My dad told me when I was 16 that he put a gun to his head outside and almost pulled the trigger and it would have been my fault. My mom called me fat multiple times, forced me into pageants i didn't want to do. she saw my bf kissing me once and wouldn't talk to me for 3 months, couldn't even be in the same room as me or look at me without crying. Oh and she kept saying it's just my first wedding every chance she got. They both told me that being a labor and delivery RN is gay and that I would be a terrible nurse, but I have proved them wrong. There is much more in between all of this but here's some.
My husband and I were searching for houses, we were going to buy one when we told my parents we'd be moving out. They begged us to stay, said we could transform the garage into a living space and they would move out there. They said they would sign the house over to us. My husband was fond of the idea since he didn't want to live in a neighborhood and my parents have 10 acres. I was not fond of it, but knew we would save money in the long run. So we got a contractor and cashed out my husbands inheritance from his deceased father (he died when my husband was 18). I used all of my savings to help pay. It amounted to about 100k after everything.
As soon as we paid, my parents demeanor changed. They became rude and insensitive, saying all sorts of horrendous things. They began heavy drinking mid 2020 because my Grandma died and their life was over.
The drinking got worse, my dad called me a bitch for not wanting to pay $7k for painters. I told them we would paint it ourselves. It wasn't good enough for them. They have caused fights about us throwing out a paint can, screaming "one hundred dollars isn't a lot to you but it is to us" and proceeded to say they "don't know how its going to work here" and that they might just take us off everything.
Flash forward to many stupid fights later, we are here and they haven't signed the house over. They claim they are trying to merge the property from my Grandma to their house then they will sign it over. We put an additional 50k into much needed upkeep that they fell short on for 30 years. I'm currently pregnant with our first two children.
We have had many fights over the dumbest shit. I could go into so many details but we would run out of space. They have made claims that we're taking advantage of them, how they've sacrificed so much and we haven't done anything for them. They blew their top over a paint can saying "100 dollars isn't much to you but it is to us!" They have threatened to not add us on the house and have said multiple times this isn't going to work. Even better my dad and mom refused to stop smoking and drinking around my babies because "it doesn't affect them". I used to visit every day before I got pregnant and was super sick. But now I visit once a week. But that seems to not be good enough.
It was my baby shower today. Keep in mind, my mom didn't throw me a bridal shower and claimed she was too busy with the renovation even though my husband and I were handling everything. She didn't offer to throw me a baby shower either. My husbands Grandma and my friend did.
Last night I texted my Mom saying that we would be leaving at 9. I figured we would be riding together since we live together and she is going to be a Grandma. Well, my mom ignored me and had my father text me. He told me that she won't be riding with me and she will be riding with a cousin. I told him I think that looks poor given she is the Grandma and shouldn't be arriving with other guests. He texted me saying my husband told him that we can't give my mom a ride. I know this is not true.
What happened was that my husband took the dogs out and at the time had a lot on his mind from work. My dad said my Mom will need a ride to the shower. My Mom insisted she didn't and would drive herself (their car is old and breaking which they have also insinuated that we should be buying them a car). My husband said that either way works and just let us know. Continuing, my father told me that he doesn't want to leave anything to us because of this. And I left it at that.
In the morning, my Mom texted saying she wants to ride with us which we agreed. She never apologized for the behavior or anything, just pretended like nothing was wrong.
My shower was less than ok. My entire family breezed past me, barely asked about my pregnancy or the babies and talked to my Mom. I sat in the corner with my friend and husbands Grandma while my Mom entertained all of them. She excluded my husbands Grandma from the main dining table and spent an hour talking about how hard her life is with my Dad and his health problems. "Nobody knows what I go through" she says.
The shower basically felt like a show for her. My cousin said "I heard you and (my Dad) built a tiny house. That must have been expensive." My mom says "yeah we did!" I walked over and said that MY husband and I paid for it. it was asked why my husband and I aren't living in a one bedroom house or if we will build a new one. I told them it wasn't our idea and we spent our entire savings on it so we have no money left to build a house.
My mom didn't sit by me or take one picture with me prior to this or after.
After the shower, everyone left and I said to my mom that I wasn't aware everyone was under the impression that they paid for everything. She screamed to of her lungs "YOU can't KEEP DOING THIS TO ME!" My husbands Grandpa definitely heard. So do you think she's in the right and has scarified more than I have?
I am getting tired of the threats and becoming more concerned that they will try to evict us even though we pay the gas, electric, wifi, and television bills. With these babies coming soon, I don't know what to do. It would bankrupt us leaving without our money back and buying a new house. Am I ungrateful and in the wrong?

Im trying to make this short - I'm 32 , I have a child who's almost a teen now . I did have friends, a lot were younger than me because I'm honestly immature for my age if I'm being honest. I had only one female friend I really used to hang out with, all her friends are around 25-27 so I would go out with them sometimes and to parties but they never really became my "friends" . Her and I did stuff together when we were drunk in the beginning but we still stayed friends it was fine, made jokes about it sometimes . But then I seen over time , she had no respect for me or my child so I blocked her last month after about 5 years of being friends when I seen posts of her with everyone and no one invited me to her birthday . It's always the same way, taking my stuff , excluding me, talking down on me .
And I had one close male friend , who blocked me randomly. It was after I didn't talk to him because he deleted me on snap, so I didn't talk to him for days until I asked for the money he owed me . He used that as the reason to delete me from his life lol. All I sent was "did you really block me on everything ?"
After no response I have too much pride to message anyone again. So I've noticed it's been about 2 months since all my friends have been gone. I lost interest in the gym, I don't go. I don't do my makeup. I don't get dressed up. I stopped going on dates . I don't really feel like I enjoy anything . I try to, but I thrive around people and i lost that light. Its gone for me. Everyone disappeared over the years. Yes I love my family but I need friends who love me.
I won't lie , I checked both their socials about twice and there's always posts with friends and parties . I'm sad but i can't go back where I'm unwanted and unvalued. Mom friends aren't where I'm at and I'm not settled into getting coffee and talking about mom stuff . I don't know anymore . Thanks for reading .
Tldr; 32 Lost all my friends & motivation for anything . Don't know what to do in life anymore .

Mom is in the ER where she’s been since Friday night. (I posted about this in another context yesterday.)
This morning, she was a B—— when I visited and instead of just taking it because “she’s sick” and because I “should be the bigger person”, I simply looked at her and said, “I’m going to go home for a few hours and leave you alone.”
The LOOK of hatred. Disgust. Anger. Her face said it all. And I walked calmly TF out.
The main nurse suggested I stay longer and without hesitation I pointed to myself and said “46 years of this” then pointed back at her “One shift. You have no idea.”
I returned a few hours later and mom apologized for her behavior. Instead of shrugging it off like I used to with an “it’s ok. No harm done” I ACTUALLY said, “Thank you. I accept your apology.”
Of course she started in about an hour later. I didn’t engage. I just got up and said, “Ok. I think you need some rest. I’m going to go check on dad and get some work done at home. Have the nurses or doctor call if you need anything.”
And I walked out.
Today is her 74th birthday but I’m the one who’s feeling reborn.
Thank you all for making this group what it is. The hours — HOURS — I’ve spent here reading and learning and absorbing wisdom … it’s done more for me than any therapy ever could. (Who else hates therapy because they were forced to go as a child by a parent who needed it much more?)
If you can’t imagine ever being strong enough to do what needs to be done in order to heal what needs to be healed and leave what needs to be left — know that I was you a few short months ago. Stay. Learn. Ask the hard questions. Ask the embarrassing questions. Share your weird truth. This little corner of the internet will prove that your story isn’t nearly as unique as you once thought. You’ve found your tribe.💜

Im currently a teen. And i have been facing severe depression for the last two years. I dont know why but i think its because of loneliness or something like that. Anyways I always resort back to gathering my things from when i was a child and just thinking back to the days where i was happiest. For example i have a little zebra thats rainbow and has a tail that you can pull for a song to come out. When i feel sad i pull it and i think of all the memorizes i had with it. Another thing i do is look at a book that a teacher made me for my 4th birthday. It had all the pictures of me when i was a baby. Today i literally hug that book and talk to my old self. I would do anything to go back. In school i cant focus anymore because i have flashbacks to the early 2010s.

I’m not even sure where to post this but I’m at my wits end with mosquito bites. Our property backs up to wooded tree line. We have a certified bee safe yard and grow food for a co-op produce box so we cannot spray our property with any treatments or chemicals. I have planted mint, lemon balm, lavender, and have citronella candles for use when we’re outside.
After a dermatologist trip last year, he said I have a mosquito allergy. My bites swell, turn large and hot to the touch and itch intensely. This also happens to my youngest child. My husband and other children don’t get bitten nearly as much. Yesterday when pulling vegetables, in 30ish minutes I had 23 mosquito bites. My husband had 1.
I don’t care if the big spray makes me grow an extra limb, I just need to stop being eaten alive when I’m outside (which is often, we have livestock and a huge garden). I’m miserable with the itching. I have scars on my legs and look like I’m tweaking from scratching myself all over. It’s driving me nuts.
What bug spray, blow torch, chemical warfare do I need to use to stop being eaten alive.
Thank you for any and all help and support. I hope you’re having a nice weekend!

I’m feeling very overwhelmed, I have a big family with lots of siblings and nieces/nephews. I realize I’m very lucky to have a loving family that gets together all the time, but I’m having a hard time keeping up.
I only have one child and she’s my world but of course she’s a lot of work! She’s going through a very clingy stage, on top of the teething. We have tons of birthdays in my family and so there’s a gathering every few weeks, sometimes every other week. And if I don’t show up, some people throw a fit in my family and judge me. If I tell them we have to leave early or arrive late due to naps, I get attitude saying the baby needs to learn to be flexible, etc.
There’s also been lots of graduations, recitals and games for my nieces and nephews that I’ve had to go to
I cherish my weekends with my husband and baby as a family, but having these gatherings are taking so much time from us. I don’t know how to have a balance. My husband works 50 hours a week and I work a couple evenings a week and we switch off, so when he gets home I’m off to work those two days, I know it’s not a lot of hours but it still makes our time together so limited
I notice my fuse is quite short, I’m very triggered easily and feel exhausted, my patience is wearing thin and I’m just pessimistic. My husband and I are also fighting a lot more. All signs that I’m burning out. What do I do?
If you read this far I really appreciate it. Thanks for letting me vent.
How often do you see the extended family?

This is a long one For some context: I am a 33F and my husband is 35 Him and I married super super young Me15/Him17 We had our son when I was 16 The first year of our relationship was like a movie .. too much time type out and telling it while probably make me identifiable.. anyway.. We got back together around 11 years ago after we split for 5Y. At first it was fine but 5m after getting back together we found out I was pregnant. Then he gets locked up for a po violation so now I’m pregnant and alone. I work my whole pregnancy and save money so I can get us an apartment. He comes out right before the baby comes and everything seemed great. Well since he was fresh out it would take time to find a job so a few days after giving birth I had to go back to work. Well a few months pass and I leave my job and get a better paying job but it’s third shift and tough. So one day I’m getting ready to leave for work and he was going to be home with our 2 kids .. (insert woman’s intuition) cutting to the chase I found he was talking to another female. Lines were crossed but nothing ever happened so I forgave him. 2 years later I’m pregnant with our 3rd child and at this point I’m working 3 jobs but eventually went down to 2. Same… thing. Womans intuition that something was up. I logged into his Facebook just to snoop and sure enough I caught him talking to another woman who was also married. I flipped out and told her husband etc etc. But again in my stupid mind nothing physical ever happened and I loved him and again.. I was super pregnant and decided to forgive him. 2 more years later and we get pregnant with our 4th. Well during this pregnancy he was mean to me. I would do everything.. literally everything I would cook, clean, take care of the kids and work so I have always paid my half or more since I always bought everything for the kids. We went 50/50 on just bills but practically everything else was on me. Down to Christmas, birthdays, vacations etc. At this point I felt like I was constantly walking on egg shells. Well I later found out he was talking to another female. When confronted he said tried to deny it and then admitted it so I through him out. Again nothing physical had happened while he was with me but I was so mad I had enough. So he’s then was with this woman for a few months and their relationship was toxic and I must admit just to get my rocks off, at times.. stuff happened. But in my mind it was just so I could get what I wanted plus keep in mind I’m left with 4 kids and just going from work to home. Well he breaks up with her and creeps back… I was honest with him and told him I didn’t want him back and that I wasn’t in love with him anymore. Like I loved him but was just so incredibly disgusted in him. So fast forward 4 years we plan our last child. We try and try then it happens. Cool everything seems great but quickly after woman’s intuition again. I logged into his phone carrier account and saw a frequent phone number then discovered it was the SAME woman from 4 years prior. I was so disturbed and other stressors were going on and I miscarried. This wasn’t a normal miscarriage and I almost died .. literally. So we somehow stayed together well fights happen etc and now it’s 2020.. weeks had a huge fight in December and I was just done with him. Well I left one job and was starting another when I found out within a week .. I had Covid and I was pregnant (we were not trying, I hated him at this point) I stay in this marriage. I have the baby and then next day got fixed. I can’t believe I’m still married as I type this. During the time I was in the hospital this man was asking for tit pics from that same Woman! How did I find this out… from her boyfriend! Months later find you. So of course I’m devastated. Why when talking/crying to his mother whom I used to be close with did she say to me it wasn’t a big deal because it wasn’t like I could give him anything and it was just a request for a pic.. that pretty much ended my feelings towards her. Ok so some more time passes .. like a year and since June I’ve started drinking. I don’t drink at work and I don’t get obliterated but when I get home I pour me a glass and get buzzed. At first he didn’t care but then slowly started commenting about me being like his mom when he was younger and idk it’s just annoying. He had and has his vices. Ok so I get paid more than him and I’m in the job position he wants so I feel sometimes like he hates me for that. I also have more responsibilities than him because again I pay more out of pocket because we only split regular bills. I cook, clean, take care of the house and most of our recent fights have been because I do everything and it’s exhausting and unfair and the chores should be both of our responsibilities. Well now when we fight I snap. And when I snap I only say hurtful all true things to him while he just makes stuff up to try to hurt my feelings. I stay because we have 5 kids but his mouth is disrespectful and he complains I’ve grown cold towards him. I do love this man but I also absolutely hate him and I’m aware that there’s a lot of trauma so this is why I am the way I am. In a recent fight he told me I was boring, I have no friends (kind of true.. I constantly moved when I was younger so it was I make friends just to lose them) (as an adult it was work then home because of the kids ) and the list went on. How can he say I’m gone cold when he’s creating a blizzard. Anyways super long story but now the economy is in the garbage and I can’t afford to just move away and care for 5 kids being a single mom. Yes child support is an option but it’s based on income and again I make a little more than him so it’s not going to be something really dependable and that’s if he actually pays it. A part of me sees me with him forever and a part of me feels like I’m wasting my life. More context ages if the kids: 17,10,8,6 and almost 2

Three year old birthday party held recently. Kid themed venue but not the kind of place that has staff or setup for kids to be dropped off. Invited many of the kids from our little ones daycare so it’s a first time meeting most of the parents. The following exchange happens and still bewilders me when I think about it.
In walks Entitle Parents (EP) alongside others arriving. Goes like this:
EP: Where can we put his bag in case you need anything?
Me: (confused by the question) feel free to keep it at any table you choose to sit.
EP: O we’re just dropping off our little one. Will be back to pick him up after the party is done (2 hours).
(I explain we cannot support watching their child and hosting said party, nobody can be responsible for doing so. They will need to stay.)
EP: He is super simple to watch and you won’t have a problem at all. Just call us if there is one. (Their kid is a 3 year old as well).
Me: That will not be happening, once again, we are busy hosting and watching our kid. You need to stay with your child.
EP: Well I guess he and the gift we brought will not be able to stay because we have shopping to do.
Me: Thank you for stopping by.
They blankly stared at me shocked their threat did not work. Of course their kid had a tantrum having to leave so fast so they stayed for the first half of the party. Still walked out with their gift though (o darn one less random Amazon kids toy).
Who in their right mind thinks it is OK to drop off a three year old with people they have never met before (other than a daycare)?

Sorry for the long post. Thanks for your patience and I appreciate all comments.
Even though it was an arranged marriage, I loved him from the moment I spoke with him over the phone. However, something inside me hesitated. I noticed things starting to go wrong, and there were several obstacles leading up to the fateful day of our marriage. On our wedding day, I told everyone he was charming, proclaiming my love for him in public, unaware of what was coming.
Long story short, I wasted 5 good years of my life with this person and lost five more years trying to recover. I was married to a narcissist and became a victim of his abuse under the guise of marriage. Ex-husband managed to isolate me from my own family and made sure I cut all ties with my friends, leaving me available only for him and nobody else. As a result, there was no one supporting me when I broke ties with him and finally came out of that toxic relationship.
There were days when I woke up wondering why I was still alive. Growing up, I was reliant on my family, and my introverted nature didn't help me overcome my insecurities. I let others decide what was best for me. My narcissistic father, abusive mother, and sister abandoned me, offering no help when I finally left my narcissistic ex-husband. They did not believe a word of what I said. The most they did was call me crazy for trying to leave a "perfect" husband and suggest I seek psychiatric help.
Heartbroken and weak after another surgery, unable to comprehend my situation, and refusing to take medication for undiagnosed bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, I flew back home abroad. My ex-husband left our daughter at his house without asking me. When he returned, he informed me he would go back in a month to get her, or his parents would take her during their visit. My ex-husband emphasized that my daughter had not spent enough time with his parents and belittled me and my family, as a result, she had not even once stayed with my family. Then, COVID struck, and my daughter ended up spending nearly 10 months without me.
When my dd finally came back, she refused to let me come close. She shut the door in my face, asking me to leave the bedroom saying, papa doesn't like you so i don't like you. I saw my ex-husband grinning as he coerced our two-year-old to say and do these things. My daughter is extremely intelligent. From the next day after she was born, I knew my daughter was her daddy's girl. She weaned just after seven months old. Following my father's advice, I left my own house (for which I had paid a quarter of the deposit, yet it was entirely under my ex-husband's ownership), leaving my two-year-old daughter with him—a terrible mistake, I admit.
I struggled to find places to live, hopping from one rental to another, begging to see my daughter at least once a week. Without a car, my ex-husband would drop her off and pick her up the same day because she wouldn't stay with me. I can't explain my mental state as I couldn't process what was happening. I had no help then. Finally, I found a flat to rent with some privacy for me and my daughter (an attached kitchen area and a shower toilet). Seeing I had moved to a better place, my ex-husband stopped bringing my daughter over, and I had to pick her up from his house, which I didn't mind as the bus stop wasn't far. Later, my ex-husband asked me to pick her up from the bus stop next to his house instead.
We celebrated our my dd's third birthday at my previous home after living in separation. Her fourth and fifth birthdays were at my new flat, and her sixth was at my current place, where I happily live with my partner of three years. I probably wouldn't have gotten my life back if I hadn't met my partner. He made me feel normal again and gave me hope. I became more attentive and present with my daughter, and we had lots of fun, taking goofy pictures and dancing to her favourite songs. But her character would change in an instant (much like her father's). Out of nowhere, she would start screaming for her dad as if reminded she needed to go back.
Initially, I understood her frustration as I struggled to make a living and moved from place to place. Despite her cries to go back to her dad, which added to my depression, I found solace in the fact that she was with me—until she wasn't. As she grows, it's becoming apparent she might be like her father. Today, my daughter is six years and six months old. Her last visit was yesterday, even though my ex-husband had agreed she could stay with me over the weekend. This year, she has stayed with me for only two nights in the past six months. My ex-husband hurls abuses at me whenever things don't go his way, often in front of our daughter. She seems to support and enjoy it when he does.
I've tried to make my daughter understand it's not okay to hurt others, but she doesn't seem to grasp this. She asks me to stop talking, sometimes screams, covers her ears, or asks, "What did you say?" I'm not forcing her to do anything, just asking her to call me "Mama," but even that seems to fade each week I see her. She acts as if she doesn't know me or harbours pure hatred. I'm screaming inside every night she's not with me. Although my partner makes me feel safe and loved, I'm dying inside a little every moment thinking of my daughter.
I grew up as a church-going Catholic, saying prayers daily, but now I feel null and numb, unsure where to turn. I don't think I'm bipolar or schizophrenic today, but I fear I might develop these conditions. At nearly 34 years old, my career is at a halt. I had to leave a job I didn't like, and it didn't align with my current skillset. I'm applying for jobs that suit my skills, but with no success. I dreamed of revenge against my ex-husband by becoming better than him. I spent countless hours studying and preparing for a new career, but it feels like a long-lost dream. While I did manage to finish my university degree, I'm still waiting to start my career and prove myself. All I want is to make life better for my daughter, to give her the space and comfort she experiences with her dad.
Even though my current place is safe and comfortable, however small, I try my best to make my daughter happy and enjoy the little time we have together. But she makes it difficult every time with hurtful words, damaging our relationship. I don't have the money to go to court, and my ex-husband threatens that any action against him will be in vain. I'm already in debt, repaying loans.
When my daughter pointed to the TV and told me she wished I was like that (we were watching "Goodbye" on Netflix, where the mother's dead body was often shown), I asked her to confirm, "Do you wish me to die _?" She nodded with hope on her face. This was when she was just five years old. I don't take anything she says seriously, but it hurts when it happens. I will never fault my daughter for our situation. But it is really sad. I hope she knows I am there for her and feels loved and connected with me emotionally. I'm waiting for that moment. I feel guilty for giving my ex-husband my daughter as a new victim after he lost me. It was more about my daughter wanting to be closer to her dad than me. I didn't expect my ex-husband to manipulate his own child to his advantage.
I know my daughter not living with me and that I'm not her main parent is not justified. As much as it hurts, I have to accept she may never live with me and may even disown me someday. I didn't want to drag her into court fights, making things more unstable, as my ex-husband would likely win. He has zero conscience. My only hope is that my daughter won't turn out exactly like him, and I can persuade her to leave him and stay with me.
As a mother, I took care of my daughter beautifully from the moment she was born until she was 18 months old, with some help from a postpartum doula after my C-section. I've gone through psychosis, anxiety, depression, self-doubt, suicidal thoughts, and many other unknown phases ever since, to have the courage to write about my situation here. I'm genuinely trying to build a positive and healthy relationship with my daughter, but it feels like a distant dream.
I recently heard he has a new victim and married her this year, which slightly relieves me that his influence on my daughter might lessen. When my daughter told me about this lady, I immediately recognized her as one of his close friends. I recall my ex-husband and his family talking about her before, as she did indeed attend my marriage with ex-husband.
I hope my daughter will understand someday how much I love her and how hard I fought for our relationship. After all, it was the birth of my daughter that gave me strength and courage. It was also the realization of the continued abuse by my ex-husband that made me come out of my situation, although things did not happen as I had hoped. Additionally, I did not realize I was going through victim withdrawal syndrome of narcissistic abuse, and I realize now I should have dealt with things more tactically and logically. I am extremely sorry that I could not be there for you, my daughter, when you were stuck at ex-family's house during the pandemic.

The SGIWhistleblowers Chief Priest (using a panoply of sock puppets) has made it one of her crusades to badly distort the Buddhist teaching of karma to make it easier for her to find fault with it.
She says, basically, that because in Nichiren Buddhism we teach karma, or cause and effect, we routinely tell people that their suffering – no matter how severe or tragic – is their own “fault”.
For instance: She recently alleged that ASGI members believe the Jews were responsible for the Holocaust. She often posts things in which she pretends we say things like Your child died? No one to blame but yourself. You’ve been in an accident the law says was someone’s else’s fault? Nope – it was yours. That’s karma!
She tells her disciples that’s what the SGI says to people. She says that’s what Buddhism cruelly teaches.
Here’s the reality. Here’s how Buddha’s themselves act towards suffering people.
“You have been left behind by your deceased husband in a woman’s situation, and are separated from your relatives, too. You hear nothing from your one or two daughters, who are not to be relied on. Moreover, you are a woman who is hated by others because of this teaching. You are just like Bodhisattva Never Disparaging.” P. 1105, WND-1 Reply to the Lay Nun Myoho
“And when your deceased husband chanted Nam-myoho-renge-kyo at the end on his deathbed, the evil deeds of a lifetime, and from the beginningless past, changed into the seeds of Buddhahood.” P. 760 WND-2, The Importance of the Moment of Deat
“Since your deceased husband was a votary of this sutra, he doubtless attained Buddhahood just as he was. You need not grieve so much over his passing. On the other hand, to grieve is only natural for ordinary people. However, even sages are sometimes sad. Could the lamenting of all the great enlightened disciples of Shakyamuni Buddha at his passing have been meant to show the behavior of ordinary people?” p. 458, WND-1 Hell Is the Land of Eternally Tranquil Light
“Since I heard from you about Kyō’ō, I have been praying to the gods of the sun and moon for her every moment of the day. Always cherish the Gohonzon that I gave you some time ago for her protection. . . . Wherever your daughter may frolic or play, no harm will come to her; she will move about without fear like the lion king. Among the ten demon daughters, the protection of Kuntī is the most profound. But your faith alone will determine all these things. . . Kyō’ō’s misfortune will change into fortune.” P. 412, WND-1 Reply to Kyo’o
That is a very small sampling of Nichiren’s compassionate words to those suffering misfortune. Concerning Shakyamuni, I have heard two stories, not found in sutras, told to illustrate his attitude towards those experiencing misfortune. Both have to do with a mother who last a child. In one, he tells the grieving mother her child can be revived if she can find one household that has never experienced death. Of course she can’t, band so learns that death is not something visited upon her alone. In the other story, he sits next to the woman as she deeply mourns, and says nothing, merely being there for her in empathy and solace.
In none of these – stories about Shakyamuni or writings of Nichiren, is there even a hint of either telling someone who is suffering that “it’s your fault” or “well, you should have chanted more” or any of the things SGIWhistleblowers sayss Buddhism teaches.
But wat! What’s that line in Reply to Kyo’o? “…your faith alone will determine all these things”. Isn’t that placing responsibility on the victim? Yes! To fix the problem starting now. The Buddha never says “you’re guilty”, never tells someone to feel ashamed. In Buddhism, karma starts now, it means you start making causes to win. The Buddha feels compassion for those suffering and wants to help them change the suffering into benefit. The SGI Nichiren Buddhist Ikeda Cult teaching of karma is that, no matter how sad or dire the situation, one can start now to find happiness and live a pleasant life.
If sgiwhistleblowers or anyone tells you anything else, they are either lying and deliberately distorting the teaching; or they don’t understand what it is they are talking about.

When we were kids, my best friend and I were wells of creativity. We didn’t even get it, we weren’t trying to be artists or “content creators” back then, we were just having fun.
Andy kept making up stories, I’d illustrate the characters and make comics out of some of them. Actually, I drew and painted a lot all my life, easily and without much thought. That was when it worked the best. It would always become harder when some expectation was put upon me, like “draw something for your aunt’s birthday.” Too deliberate. Thinking always blocked me.
The same went for Andy, his stories were the best when done spontaneously.
Back when we didn’t think about how we needed to be creative or productive, or that anything we did had any value or that we had a talent or needed to achieve anything with it. We just did it, and people around us would respond.
Then came university, then work, Andy got a wife and a kid. Slowly, and without any drama, we drifted apart.
I didn’t draw in a long time. It’s hard when you work 5 days a week, you’re tired in the evening and recovering during the weekend. Suddenly the idea of myself as an artist started to matter more and more, and with it it became less and less obtainable. It started to matter because I needed something to hold on to that would represent a side of me outside of this absurd routine I was now stuck in. And I didn’t have my own family, I was free after work, not that I managed to do much with it aside from finishing a lot of shows, games, movies and books and drinking a bit too much.
By then, it’s been years since I saw Andy, but at one point we ran into each other, promised we’d grab a beer, surprisingly lived up to the promise, and realized that, despite all this time, we were still friends.
We started hanging out more often, we didn’t even live that far. His wife just had their second kid, and the whole thing seemed overwhelming to me, but it seemed he was managing just fine. One time I asked him if he was still writing anything. In retrospect, I could recognize that he had a serious gift, endless ideas, unique style, even as a kid. Hell, he even studied literature, although he was in finance now. “Sometimes,” he said. “I don’t have that much time, and I often start on some stories only to realize they’re dumb and give up.”
He told me his dream is still to write a book, but finding the motivation to write is difficult as is, and finding the right moment and atmosphere even more so. But 10 years ago, he wrote a short story/novel, still in the draft stage. I managed to convince him to let me read it, and I was amazed. The story was short, but it was so good and imaginative. The ending felt a bit rushed, and some plot elements could be fine-tuned, but the writing itself was genius. I could feel the characters, the atmosphere around them, the original ideas and believable dialogues…I told him honestly, with a not-insignificant effort to repress my jealousy, that he needed to keep on writing.
He laughed and asked me what about my drawing. I showed him a few things I made throughout the years, and he appeared genuinely impressed. Except there was so little to show. He asked me about one of the more recent drawings, which turned out pretty cool. I told him I actually made it in about half an hour, in a pissed-off mood after losing my job. Most of it was like that. The flash of inspiration is something I can’t summon or plan. “I envy the people who can get anywhere through pure discipline,” I said. “For me, it’s all completely outside of my control.”
This resonated with Andy. “When I wrote my story, at the moment the most complete work in my life, my mother died. That was the worst year of my life. I didn’t care about anything, the only thing I could do was write.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “It seems to me that the best works I’ve made came from the moments where I had the least desire to live”
“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time,” he confessed.
“I’ve been trying so hard to get that drive back. I tried to write drunk, I tried to write sober, I tried to write when I’m on leave, I tried to write after my leave, I tried to write after work, I tried to write weekends, I tried to write during work because it’s more peaceful than at home…during big live events, or tried to wait for things to get more peaceful, break the routine, write desperately, write calmly, force it, not force it….in the end, nothing works. Except maybe a tragedy.” he laughed.
“Eh, at least you have an excuse. You have a wife, two kids, a demanding job… I’m just lazy.” I tried to cheer him up. I didn’t envy his lifestyle. But it was a good life, the life he wanted.
“I know this sounds awful, but to have children, a family, that’s nice and I love them but I can’t say it’s that fulfilling. Or that it’s the meaning of life for me. Ultimately, they’re here to have their own lives and I’m still me, and I wonder what I really accomplished - creating someone else to take a shot at making something interesting? No, kids aren’t what I want to leave as my mark on this world. And now I feel that this is it, there’s no more that infinitely long future filled with possibilities in front of us.”
We were both in some kind of depression, an identity crisis. In my 20s I was so lost and wanted some stability, and now I was choked by the regularness of life. Maybe it was the awareness that things could continue like this - every day the same, and then you die - that seemed terrifying at times. Especially at night, with the next day gaping in front of me like a black hole, waiting for me to fall in.
Some people have a strong feeling of purpose from which nothing can pull them away. I have some talent, but I find it so monumentally hard to give it any dedication.
After that day, this became our regular topic we always seemed to come back to. Is it better to try to force yourself to do something, or wait for the inspiration to hit you, but what when it’s simply not happening? We’d occasionally read some self-help advice, although we were always a bad audience for this kind of thing, constantly trying to identify what it was that was blocking us. We’d share our observations. Andy would come up with some cool ideas for stories, but it wouldn’t go anywhere. I’d try to sketch or do something “crazy” and it would just come off as forced and fake.
Slowly, Andy started working on a theory that, with time, became more and more concrete and ritualistic. He started from that simple, and not too original observation that he can only create when going through a loss. “The suffering artist” or something. He started to believe that there is some balance in life, that he was trying to maintain too many things, and that some kind of “hole” was needed that could be filled with creation.
We’d had some beers when he was going on about it again. “See, I always avoided big responsibilities, serious relationships, a family… I was always stingy about my time and how much I could give to others. And yet I have the same problem.”
He waved me off, drunker than I was. “We all have different capacities. Although I have more obligations, you are equally balanced by yours, as small as you think they seem in comparison. And even that's the wrong way of looking at it. I’m not talking about free time or energy, because I realized that’s not the issue, just an excuse. I’m talking on a much more… metasiphyc level.”
Metasiphyc. I remember that. I found it hilarious at the time.
But he kept on with his idea of equilibrium, balancing the things you want in life, with an increasingly elaborate approach to the topic. From a general idea that comes down to that all aspects of your life can’t be at their highest at the same time, to the idea that everyone has an average and when you want to rise above it in any way, you need to sacrifice something else.
“Well of course, everyone says you need to sacrifice to achieve greatness. Sacrifice means hard work, dedicating your time to it, shit like that. Except that this approach doesn’t really lead to success for either of us.” I challenged the theory.
He wasn’t discouraged. “No, because that’s not a sacrifice for you. In theory, you’re fine with spending 5 hours sitting down and working on something, you just don’t know what it is.” “No, sacrifice is… a sacrifice. It has to be something you care about. I’ve been studying the topic,” he’d start lecturing. “Humanity always had sacrificial rituals, and they make perfect sense.”
I’d usually laugh it off at this stage, but I think that, even then. I started to notice it was all becoming way too concrete and obsessive. We had more of those conversations, but the more of a thing it became for him, the less committal I was about agreeing with his philosophy. At one point I started seriously suspecting that he was losing it and becoming a fanatic.
One night he called me crying and telling me he took it too far, killed his cat so that he could write, and that he was a total idiot who deserved to die. I could tell he was drunk as fuck. After that incident, he suddenly stopped and calmed down. He was no longer talking about his book, sacrifices, equilibrums and metaphysics. Just normal shit, politics, exercise routine, work issues, family and all. Mostly about trying to drink less and work on his marriage. It seems he re-embraced normal life, avoided the topic of what happened that night, or turned it into a deeper discussion about alcoholism and getting his shit together. I didn’t push, maybe I was relieved if a bit bored by this change.
Then his youngest son died. Accidental suffocation with the blanket. Apparently it happens more often than you’d think.
Look, I’m not a writer, you can see where this is going. But as clear as it may seem here, put together in a linear recount of events, it certainly didn’t cross my mind that Andy had anything to do with it. It’s easy to look back now and connect all the elements, but to accept the possibility is much more bizarre. I just felt bad for him and had no idea what to say.
I was a weak friend at the time. I thought he needed some space and time with his family, and I needed a reason not to awkwardly interact with someone going through things I can’t possibly understand, so after a cliche message expressing my condolences, which took me a day and the help of ChatGPT to draft (I think the result was the eloquent “ Andy, I’m so sorry for your loss, no idea what to say. Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”) I kind of stepped back.
A few months have passed. I’m not proud of it, but I rarely actively miss people. Then, he reached out to me and asked me to get together for some beers.
I started with another unconvincing expression of condolences, but luckily he accepted it without any protest and lucidly started talking about how he was doing, the terrible state his wife was in and how confused and lost his little girl was. He said his home was a terribly depressing place, and that writing was now his only escape.
It wasn’t exactly a cheerful declaration, but a few weeks after he sent me a book draft. It was excellent. I loved it. I instantly felt a pang of jealousy. A short while later he managed to publish it.
The book kept getting some traction, slowly but surely, and soon enough I was truly jealous and I started to avoid him again. He didn't share my problem anymore. He created something, it was good, and people started to recognize it. Even if it never gets huge, it will always remain as something he can feel proud of. That was better than anything I was doing. Then again, being jealous of the man who lost his child was brutal, but I was and I didn’t feel like seeing him.
One day he invited me for some drinks while his wife and daughter were away to see her parents. He insisted I come.
This time, he was beaming. It seemed that he was waiting for me to say something until he couldn’t wait anymore. “Can you see that it’s working now? “ he asked.
I gave a confused look.
“The sacrifice”
He told me, to my great discomfort, that he went for all or nothing. That the cat worked just enough to confirm his suspicions, but he knew he needed something big. He had to do something drastic or forever resign to mediocrity. And how his son’s death instantly removed that barrier inside of him and gave him focus. “Of course, it hurt” he toned it down. “Without the pain, the sacrifice wouldn’t be worth anything”
“But your son, was that not an accident?” Happy accident, I thought.”Or?”
“Or” he replied flatly.
He continued. “Look, I don’t care, I know you won't say anything to anyone, at least not seriously. And if you did, who’d believe you, you can’t prove anything and you’re way too lazy to get into any drama and risk looking stupid.”
He was right.
“And maybe you also know there’s truth in it. Maybe you get it. The reason why I am telling you all this is because you’re my friend, maybe the only true friend I have, and because I want to help you. But your problem is that you avoid having anything to lose. That’s why you’re in your equilibrium where you can’t create.”
“What, I should find a girl and make a kid so I had something to sacrifice for my artistic masterpiece?” I asked him in some combination of shock and numbness of disbelief.
He shrugged. “This method is more concrete than you think, and it works. My problem is that I need to keep at it, the success made me happy and again, I’m balanced. In fact, as much as it hurts to lose my son, and as disgusting as this is to say, I can live without him. It was much more painful to watch my wife and daughter despair, that was truly… painful, and horrible. The guilt made me create. And now, I’m finally leaving my mark on this world and my marriage is falling apart,” he took a big sip.
“You sacrificed,” I said.
As time passed, my friend got a divorce, lost his beloved sister and her family in a tragic gas leak accident, wrote another book and became semi-famous in an increasingly broader circle. I didn’t read the book.
We don’t see each other often. I judge him, but I feel like a hypocrite. The truth is, I am consumed with envy, while the advice he gave me is stuck in my head. Meanwhile, time keeps on passing and I still achieved nothing.
“You need to open up a hole in your equilibrium and then fill it in with what you want. It’s a swap. Humanity always understood the concept. A deal with the devil, a sacrifice, same principle.”
Maybe I should stop him before anyone else is sacrificed. I know how much he loves his daughter, I think about it sometimes. But it all sounds too insane. Like some dumb fiction. Besides, he was right, wasn’t he? His way worked and I’m jealous because I have nothing to sacrifice.
It would be better to work on my own life rather than try to ruin his. He’s right, I never built anything so I’d have nothing to lose. We all have our reasons and fears. Maybe I should face mine. Finally, allow myself some closeness, stop pushing aside every girl I start to like. Meet someone, invest in the relationship, put my time and effort towards building something.
And then, perhaps, I’ll be able to find my creative drive.

I'm wanting others' outside opinions. Sometimes I go back and forth between whether my parents are narcissists are if I'm actually the bad guy. For context, I was the golden child and my older sister was the scapegoat. Over the last 2-3 years I've realized how their raising of me (and infantilizing of me) has affected me to now I just feel like I was only ever a 'project' to them, not an actual person, and that they still and will always see me that way. Here are some reasons I think they may be narcissists:

• I didn't know until I was 16 that my dad was married before and had a son (my half-brother). He got divorced and gave up custody of his son around 4-5 years of age because he "didn't want him to be used by his mother against me." He essentially refuses to have anything to do with him even though I think my half-brother has tried to reach out to him.
• He is completely heartless with his dog and prior dogs. They are hunting dogs (retrievers) and want attention but he keeps them in a kennel except when he feeds them in the evening or takes them hunting (during the winter). They whine and cry for his attention but it doesn't affect him at all. I suspect my mom is also complicit in not wanting them in the house.
• Neither really gives a real apology, especially my dad. I've never heard him utter an unprompted, condition-less, heartfelt sorry to us.
• A few years ago I tried to tell him as tactfully and non-critically that he never ever says good job to me. This is despite me being a great student and a pretty good athlete in school. He got visibly mad at me, said "well I guess I'm just a bad dad? You got way better than what I had!" He is always always wanting praise but is basically incapable of giving it back. At best, he almost acts surprised when I do well.
• Gifts from my dad are never what I want or ask for, it's about what he wants me to have. He collects shotguns and for me 30th birthday gave me a shotgun I didn't want or have any use for. He will also buy me hunting clothes I don't want them act sort of offended if I don't wear them. I feel creeped out my dad essentially tries to dress me and I'm early 30's.
• He has never driven any of my vehicles. I've had some fun cars/trucks but he has never test driven them even when I ask if he wants to. He shows basically no interest in them at all.
• My wife and I have a very well followed instagram based on a hobby he and I both share. He shows zero interest in our business or the products we make...he will buy similar products but from other companies, never ever ours and when I gift him stuff he still doesn't really want to use it.
• I can never talk to my mom about just me, it always ends up being about her. An hour phone call is probably 50 minutes of her talking about her problems or who did what and what it means or how she feels, et cetera. I have to literally ask her if we can talk about me.
• This is a crazy one: my mom texts me A LOT, I used the search feature on my texts and in a year she has never, not once asked "how are you?" or "how do you feel?" or "how are you doing," even when she knows I'm going through horrible mental health crises and my world is crashing. She asks me 'what are y'all doing?' almost every day but never asks about me.

This is a lot but is by no means all. I've read how, in the long run, the golden child is often the most damaged. I can see that now in my life, how I was never allowed to mature or given real emotional support, my usefulness to them extends only insofar as I reflect positively on them. As far as my being a real person with scars and issues and needs, they basically left me to myself. As my dad literally told me, "you were just so smart I thought you didn't need any advice or help. I thought you could just do it on your own."