Hello--
I have an intent to become a published writer.
There are a few reasons.
For one I get compliments on my short form prose, which is inspired and only happens on occasion. People ask me, "are you a writer!?" Mostly I just read a lot of Whitman and Anne Rice in my 20's, and sometimes am in the mood to wax poetic.
Second, a trademark of my career in Tech has been the ability to write cohesive emails. Seems like it wouldn't matter that much to people who work on electronics all day, but they look to me to communicate information.
Third, I have counter-mainstream opinions on timeless themes in psychology (ie forgiveness) and current themes in esoteric thought (ie manifesting).
So, those are the reasons I'd like to publish. Medium is a fine place to start although I'd like to publish books one day.
NOW, when I took a week vacation in Columbia, by some miracle I was communicating with people in Spanish. Don't ask me how, as I hadn't practiced since high school.
The lesson in the story is that we will rise to the level of our environment. My Spanish speaking skills at home are useless. But thrust into a foreign country, my Spanish speaking became, within days, good enough to get by.
I figure that if I were surrounded by good writers it would be the same principle.
How do I surround myself with good writers?

I was extremely depressed for a while… wanting to kill myself and planning to do it.
Then I became manic and actually decided to not go through with my plans to die, and to instead start a new business and write my memoir.
I feel like I’m even keeled right now, no longer manic, and my psychiatrist doesn’t seem concerned… But we never made med adjustments that entire time, which makes me think I’m gonna continue to be trapped in this cycle of complete highs and lows.
I also don’t have my sleep sorted… and I am struggling to rest.
I really, really don’t want to be depressed again. I can’t be depressed again.
I need advice from people who have maintained stability, please. I’m trying to figure out how I can attain it. I know it is possible. I have had stable periods, I just need them to at least last longer.
I’m 1 year out of the mental hospital and I’ve already had to almost go back MULTIPLE times. I’m definitely better than I was before the hospital, and I’ve had some stable periods and good days, but I am still for sure having episodes… I almost died last week hypothetically, as I did intend on going through with ending my life.
I really want to say goodbye to mania and depression. There’s just no way this is as good as it gets.

The groundbreaking research of Dr. Michael Gershon, an expert in the nascent field of neurogastroenterology, and author of The Second Brain, has clearly demonstrated that the human body has a second brain: the abdominal brain. In fact, “gut instincts” are actually the biological function of this second brain. Some researchers suggest that the abdominal brain is actually the “first”, rather than the “second,” hypothesizing that it may have evolved in animals long before the cranial brain took its current form.
https://preview.redd.it/bmu5stw01q0d1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=1bb6e088de3910ced1cf7a1bc2e5719d44ff11b5
Dr. Gershon writes: “The second brain doesn’t help with the great thought processes…religion, philosophy and poetry is left to the brain in the head.” However, this mass of abdominal neural tissue secretes important neurotransmitters, and it strongly influences mental state and plays key roles in certain diseases throughout the body.
Disturbances of the abdominal brain require a broad spectrum therapeutic response featuring dietary change, nutrient supplementation, exercises, breathing exercises, hydrotherapy, therapeutic sunbathing, improved rest and sleep habits, etc. The protocol presented in this article is being offered as an example of adjunctive measures that may prove of good service when implemented in concert with the more fundamental elements such as said dietary changes and breathing exercises, etc.
Read the full article here (5000+ words): Soothing the Abdominal Brain with Synergy of Blue Chamomile Essential Oil, Labradorite Gemstone Essence and Blue Light Therapy

Hi, I'm very much a visitonew guy here, and plus I'm pasty af and from Austin suburbs, so I very much have not been immersed in this environment or community before now. Ironically, as a kid I tended to avoid rap altogether bc 1, Texas suburbs, being covertly racist and weird about black art is kinda the norm even for kids (I know I still got problems on that front but I'm really tryna work on myself in that regard) and 2, I grew up in the 2010s and I could not STAND Drake or the folks that came off his wave. It was just boring and lame to me and I figured if those guys were mega popular that must be all there is to it. I was a dumb kid, what can I say, lol. SO, given all that, and I know that people in this fanbase tend to be both old guard hip-hop/rap fans and a healthy dose of my age, I figured asking some questions that've been bugging me about the beef, Kendrick, and hip-hop culture in general that Google isn't helping with. I'm sorry if I say something that ticks anybody off, I am simply trying to educate myself on this. Frankly I wish I could flair this both beef and discussion XD.
If there's a better subreddit to direct this to, please let me know!
Aight so:

1. Why is Drake hiding kids such a big deal? I know this came up with Pusha T awhile back too, so I'm particularly interested in this one. Cause like, we've seen what happens multiple times when kids get put in the limelight too early (hell just look at all those kiddie sitcoms from Nick and Disney Channel), and celebrities not sharing their children's faces and names with the world actually seems kinda responsible.
2. Why is Drake getting plastic surgery such a big deal? Idk maybe it's just cause I'm trans and my gut instinct is always "why do you care about what somebody else is doing with their own body," but I also know dude has a tendency to mock people who aren't conventionally attractive (particularly women) so idk.
3. As a white person whose experience is informed by a middle-class upbringing interacting with a predominantly black, impoverished art form and culture, how do I best avoid bringing harm to the space? Obviously you ask 3 people a question like that and you'll get 45 answers, but that's good, I wanna know.
4. Obviously, I've really been getting into Kendrick since all this (Auntie Diaries made me cry I ain't gonna lie, he sounds just like my mom about my own transness in that song XD), and I'm working my way through his discography. Honestly it seems a lot of people round here talk about him the same way we in the emo/rock scene talk about My Chemical Romance lol. Can y'all recommend some other artists, both old and new, that might work for someone coming outta the emo and metal scenes (also before anybody says it cause I mentioned being queer, yes I love Lil Nas X, M:CMBYN was actually one of the catalysts to my coming out as trans XD)?

(I know I had some other ones but my dumb ass completely forgot as I was writing. I'll ask any others in the comments)

For context I'm a 25(f) and I live in Australia with my Grandmother and my Mum. I'm really fortunate in the fact that I don't have to pay too much rent and I'm living in a little shack at the back of the house. My wife is a 26(f) who is American and stuck overseas and we've been apart for some time trying to organise visas. I had originally planned to move over there but there have been immigration delays, and now my wife is planning to come to Australia. The visa for Aus is quite expensive. And despite not having to pay much rent, I work in childcare and don't earn very much money and need to pay for therapy and groceries etc. It's been tough with this cost of living crisis. I have been struggling to find a higher paying job and with HECS debts for uni going up and not being able to afford higher education. I'm in a tough spot. Now, my relationship with my Dad is interesting. He was emotionally abusive growing up and I have a lot of trauma from him, which was exacerbated from living with him and his wife for two years in my early twenties. They've had a history of not being particularly nice to me to put it lightly and favouring her biological children. Now my Dad is a pilot and makes very good money and so does his wife. They own five properties and do well for themselves. They even bought my step sister a house. Now, when I was in my teens my Dad bought an apartment and he promised me that when he sold it, the money would go to me so that I could help support myself financially and potentially buy my own home. Which is a dream for so many young people. Now last year my Dad and his wife decided to buy another home and tore it down to build over it. They've been so distracted by this build that they didn't make it to my wedding and forgot to tell me they weren't coming much to my horror. I was beyond upset but not surprised as he's missed countless things throughout my life including musicals I've been in, my own formal, my high school graduation. So no surprises there.
Anyway, recently my Dad told me that they planned on selling the apartment and using all the money on building this "dream home" as they refer to it. I've been in shock about it for a few weeks now and don't know what to make of this. I'm hurt all over again. My Dad knows I have been struggling financially for some time and emotionally especially being apart from my wife. I messaged my Dad and told him that he's selfish and that he should give me some of the funds from the property sale as promised to at least go towards my wife's visa. He's ignored my message and doesn't want to talk about this.
Was I too harsh on him? Or not harsh enough? Because to me it felt justified to call him out on his behaviour. But there is also so much going on in the world and this feels like such a capitalistic white woman problem. But I'm mad. What do you think?

Sorry for the clunky title, wasn't sure what to say. I have an unusual issue with my pets that I need advice on. I have two rabbits and a cat that can't be in the same room. The last time they were together for an extended period of time one of the rabbits was hospitalized for a stress-caused issue.
I read that it's important for cats to sleep in the same room as their owners, so previously I kept the cat in the bedroom and the rabbits in the living room. However, it seemed wrong to keep the cat in one small room all the time, so I switched them yesterday thinking the roaming space would be good for the cat. The cat liked it during the day, but spent the whole night meowing sadly at my door.
Idk what to do with this situation. Is it more important for the cat to have more space, or for it to sleep in my room?

So I (32F) and my brother (45 M) had a tiff the other day. Some background to explain:
About a year ago, my husband and I got evicted from our home. We were paying rent like we were meant to, but the landlord got angry at us when I called her out on making us overpay for utilities (we were paying her's as well as ours, and when I found out, I was livid.) Shortly after, we were all made to leave the home as I had no solid proof to back us up. I had 3 kids + 1 stepchild at the time. The step child lived with her mom, so no change for her, but we were struggling to find a new place to rent. We are in fact still struggling, and all we've been able to afford in that time is a one bedroom apartment. My oldest two children are teenagers, and I had had a baby with my husband just a few months prior to the eviction notice.
Now, because of the limited space, and laws in my state, my eldest two children were required to stay elsewhere. Namely, with my brother. He offered, and I thanked him profusely for his generosity and have done everything I can to continue making my appreciation known. I am working and so is my husband. But even with both of us working, we are still having a hard time finding something bigger that is sustainable. I have seen how this sudden separation has affected my elder children, and I don't want to ever put them through this again. So I have been looking with the intention that it has to be in our budget long term, and affordable even if one of us lost their jobs. I refuse to put my kids through this hell again.
One of the places I have been consistently bugging about an available rental has finally gotten back to me with a big enough place, and below what our "safety" budget is. I am only waiting on them to finish their inspection/refurbish of the place, and then we can move in. We have put back tax money to make sure this move is doable as soon as they are done.
I am again pregnant (not on purpose, I was supposed to have had my tubes tied but I guess it didn't take properly according to my obgyn.) I was more than a little upset to find out, but I am not someone who would abort a child just because they weren't on purpose. My husband and I have decided to make this work as best we can, and we will still be moving to the same place as soon as we can, with minor adjustments to include the new little one. I was also briefly unemployed (a grand total of 2 weeks) and have just started a new job in the last few days which I think will be better for us in the long run anyway.
All this to say, my brother texted me about my son a few days ago. I have been picking him up from school and taking him to my brother's house afterwards every day. This is because my brother lives outside of the school district for my son's high school, and while my brothers children can take him, they often have after school things and my son wants to go "home" and do his homework straight after. Not a big deal. Sometimes my son calls me and tells me that he is getting a ride home with a friend, or his gf, and that's fine too. He's about to be a senior, so I don't mind the commute simply because he shouldn't be made to switch schools just because we failed to provide properly. Our car (we currently only have 1, and are looking to trade it for a van because we're going to need one), broke down randomly. It's 20ish years old, so this isn't entirely unexpected, just super inconvenient while we wait for the parts to come in to fix it. I told my son that if he needed me to come get him, that was fine, but that while we waited for the parts to come in, if he had someone else who could take him to my brother's house for the time being, that would be helpful for now.
At no point did I say I wouldn't come get him, or that he had to ask for a ride daily, or anything of the sort. I made sure he was aware I was still willing to come get him whenever, but that it would help keep the car from breaking down faster if he had a different way ( which he usually does anyway.)
This apparently trigger big brother. And he sent me a couple of messages asking why I was making my child "beg for a ride home" when I could have just let him know if our car was messed up so he could make other arrangements for my son to get there. I explained as succinctly as I could what I had told my son, and that he usually has a ride home that isn't me anyway, so I didn't think it would be a big issue. Nor did I tell him he absolutely had to go with someone else, but that if he had a different way that it would be helpful for the time being. My brother told me I should have discussed it with him instead, and not with my son. He said I was making him feel unloved and excluded, especially considering my pregnancy and the fact that I had another smaller child who I was "replacing" my elder two children with. (that's not a thing, and I have spoken to both of my children several times, and keep them in the loop on all the things happening while we wait for the house.)
There have been several instances where my brother and I have butted heads as far as the kids go, because he tells them to ask me if they can do x, y, or z, and when I answer as I normally would as their mom, and it doesn't align with that he thinks is correct, he then sends me passive aggressive messages and says that I need to consult him first. At first I thought this was a communication break-down between myself and kids, and they were leaving part of it out (the part where bro wanted me to consult him specifically,) but after checking their messages, that's not it at all. He literally tells them to ask me, and when I don't reply as he thinks I should, I get the messages that I mentioned before.
Now on the call he made, he went on for about 30 minutes, screaming at me and telling me I wasn't a good mother, and that I hadn't done anything for my children since they went to stay with him. I told him if he wanted money, I would send money, but that I wasn't trying to exclude my kids from anything, and I was still trying to find a place that was sustainable, and where I was waiting on the house. He knew these things already. He said he didn't want my money, just for me to make more of an effort to spend time with my kids. My eldest daughter also usually rides home with me from a different school. I have offered multiple times for both kids to come over to the apartment, or to come on day trips with us to places. They keep saying they have plans. Even when I specifically ask them to not make plans so I can see them, it ends up happening anyway. I don't dispute this because I don't feel I'm currently in a position to do so, and because teenagers are well.. teenagers. They have their own lives to lead in some respects and hanging out with mom isn't cool anymore, even when I miss them like mad.
I tried explaining all this to my brother but he was having none of it. I ended up parked under an overpass, crying my eyes out, to the point my husband was telling me to hang up because of the amount of stress it was causing me.
to be clear, I know I am failing as a mother right now, but there's nothing anyone else can say that I haven't said to myself, and have probably said even worse.
After a few more minutes of the non-stop berating I was getting, I yelled that as soon as I got my kids home we were completely done and he wouldn't have to worry about seeing the other kids ever again.
I feel i may have overreacted, though my husband says I didn't react enough. I don't know. I think hormones got the best of me, along with the stress of everything. Now my brother is back to being silent (which isn't new) and I feel even worse than when he was yelling at me.
​
AITHA? Did I overstep and overreact considering the fact that he's doing me such a huge favor by keeping my kids safe while I try to stand on my feet again?
​

In January of 2023 my wife, I’ll call her S, left me. A bit of backstory because this is mostly my fault. Me and her moved from Florida to Washington 6 years ago for me to find better work. Her dad, brother and I were all best friends for a while and her dad was my boss that’s how I met her. We started dating in 2016 when I lived in Jacksonville and was attending welding school. When I moved back to my hometown I couldn’t find work and eventually went back to work with the company her dad worked at, I ran my own shop. I hated it I was so depressed I wanted to weld but she didn’t want me to because she’d be alone while I was on the road so I stayed. Her mom is a meth addict and is very violent and her dad is laid back as it gets but an alcoholic non the less. I was living with my parents at the time and one day her mom freaked out and tried to hit her, I stood up and defended her and her mom kicked her out of there house. Me and her lived with my parents ever since. Now that she lived at my parents house I had to basically force her to get a job because all she did was play sims and complain. Especially about me watching game of thrones because of the nudity. when I got home and I thought she needed some purpose. I only bring these thing up to put into perspective the things that I had to forgive and give up to be with her. One day my mom asks us if we’d like to move to Washington in hopes of a better life and she could attend college here. I was thrilled at the idea and she was at that moment too. As the date grew closer and I had already put my two weeks notice in she started getting cold feet. I explained to her that I was miserable at my job and had already given up welding and I was not passing up another opportunity whether she came or not. That ended in a fight but she said she wanted to come in the end. My mom emptied her retirement so we could rent a truck, drive up and have an apartment when we got there (my mom was already here) When got here we both immediately got jobs as a construction labor, making quite good money and her at a drugstore. This is where the problems really began. She started to become very withdrawn. She was not interested in anything sexual, and it began to wear on my confidence. I eventually got a job as an electrician making less money as an apprentice, but more overall when I turned out. Then Covid hit. I got fat and depressed, I got a lot from unemployment. So naturally, I began to drink more. Then I started dabbling in cocaine. Over time this became a problem, I began hiding it doing it on the weekends being out all night sometimes for multiple days. She caught me and I lied. My mental health was deteriorating quickly. I had already suffered with depression before, but this was something different. Her dad got diagnosed with stage bone cancer during this too. It was a rough time for both of us. At one point she told me she didn’t know if she wanted to get a divorce because she wanted to go back home to be with her dad if he died. Even though I understood this crushed me even more. During 2022 I was still somehow I was still somehow still managing to keep it together even with my addiction. She started attending college and work and college at the same time with stressing her out to the point where she was crying so I told her to quit her job and do college full-time. I paid for all of it. Financial burdens began to increase. My mental health dropped even lower. I became increasingly suicidal I thought about death every day. I talked about it every day. She would tell me she’s not a psychiatrist or therapist and that she couldn’t help me. She started hanging out with one of her friends from work and they started hanging out a lot towards the end of 2022. This part is extremely important. I started noticing things on her phone that pointed to her being interested in women like things in her algorithm for TikTok and YouTube. Stuff to do with being lesbian and coming out or bi. I asked her one day if that was something that was going on with her if she was interested in women. She told me no. A month later, she came to me and told me that she thought about it and it was something that she had been thinking about. I told her that it was OK and that it was something that I was willing to let her explore as long as we communicated. Then out of the blue one day again she tells me she didn’t mind if I slept with other women. Looking back this was a red flag at the time. I thought it was OK with it for being with someone else. It turns out I was not. Being a cocaine addict and an alcoholic pretty much plus the thought of her being with someone else started to grind my self-conscious. I became increasingly paranoid that she would leave me. One night fueled on cocaine. I got on her laptop and looked through all of her history all of it back years. And I saw she had to stop obsessing over a guy. Is it OK to have a crush on a guy at the gym while married. I confronted her with this information. And it turned into a huge she said I invaded her privacy which I did and still feel terrible for. And she said it was only a crush and nothing else. Our sex life had all the ground, and I was so hurt that she was attracted to someone else and couldn’t even begin to be attracted to me. One night at the beginning of January, maybe the first week or two I was trying to quit drinking and doing cocaine. I had maybe been a week in. It was the weekend and I didn’t want to be alone. I begged her to stay with me, but she went out with her friend. In retaliation, I suppose I went out with someone a friend of mine and got fucked up. We ended up going back to his place with some girls. There was no sex just making out and such. I don’t remember exactly what happened, but I freaked out and got taken home in a cop car. She was at her friends at this point I decided to commit suicide. I overdosed on muscle relaxers with my uncle to tell him bye. My uncle got it out of him that I had overdosed. He called my wife and her and the woman that she was hanging out with came to my house and I was taken to the hospital. I spent a whole week in the hospital. The whole time I was there she just seemed annoyed. She wanted to go back to her friends house and do homework for school. I got out and went back to work. I had to make up some school and the day I was there. I talked to another woman about how I could win her back because she said that she didn’t know if she wanted to be with me anymore. The girls suggested I take her out on a date and tell her how I was feeling and I did. That night while we were eating dinner, she told me that she had been sleeping with that girl the night I tried to commit suicide and other nights. She didn’t tell me she was afraid I would divorce. At first, I remain calm. But as the past, I started to become angry. at home I told her I was leaving to go stay at a friends house because we need to take a break. I started drinking heavily and told her to get the fuck out of my house and I hated her a bunch of other I started drinking heavily and told her to get the fuck out of my house and I hated her a bunch of other terrible things. I went completely off the rails she left with that girl to stay at her house. I bought a bunch of cocaine Adderall and alcohol and was determined to just do drugs until I died. I started self harming. I tried to commit suicide through carbon monoxide, overdose, and hanging. I ruined the house. I broke so many things kicked down doors shattered pictures. You should’ve seen it. It was disgusting. She came by to check on me because she was worried. I was going to kill myself. I can’t remember everything that I said to her, but I know I freaked out. I started throwing things and just being an absolute ass. it culminated her calling my parents. She told him everything. I should also note that during this time I was confused as well with everything going on in my head and thought maybe I would be by and gave a guy a blow job he also gave me one as well. It didn’t last long I wasn’t into it, but I told her the very next day. Had about three months before all this happened. She left again and my mom flew back from Florida. As I sobered up, I began to realize how I had acted. I went to work and immediately told my foreman that I needed to go to rehab. I went to rehab and started to feel better about two months after she had told me and I went to rehab and started to feel better. About two months since the split, we met up at a Starbucks to talk about us. She said that she didn’t think she could be with me anymore. After the way I had acted and all the lying with my addiction. I wanted her back so badly. I told her I’m sorry I was never worth it in a bunch of other stuff that was childish. She said I had acted like her mom and that she couldn’t deal with it. I totally did the yelling throwing things saying horrible things to her to put her down. Anyway, I went no contact with her the whole time she was still living with that girl. I relapsed after about four months. I got laid off from my job. In a few Coke, fueled rages on separate occasions, I would call her and beg her back and then yell at her when she didn’t want to. I called her with cancer and told him that she had cheated on me with a girl. They are very conservative and that was a horrible thing for me to do. So now the end of the tale. I’ve been in and out of sobriety now for this year and a half more in sobriety than out. I’m sober now I’m in AA and NA and feeling much better. Her dad died of cancer. She never told me I heard through a friend of a friend which really hurt me because me and him used to be best friends. Although I understand why she would not reach out to me. Neither me or her have filed the paperwork for the divorce. We just never talk. She has me blocked on Facebook and I don’t know her phone number and honestly right now. I don’t even know if I want to go through with the divorce or just keep working on healing. I’m so confused because I still love her but also I don’t want to be with her but I do. I think about her all the time. I don’t want to break no contact with her. We haven’t spoken in over nine months. I don’t want to open up the wounds for her. If anyone has read this far thank you. I’m typing on my phone so if everything seems rushed and a little sporadic, sorry. I would just like some advice on how maybe I could move forward stay sober and heal from all of this.

Gents- Since most of us are married with kids, I am kicking off an annual (Ryder Cup style) golf trip with my buddies and I am looking to find a great but somewhat hidden gem in the US (big airbnb/boozy nights, etc). We are usually 12-16 ppl. No one is having bach parties anymore so the boys trips have died off. We have golfed at some famous spots already- Bandon, Pinehurst, Hilton Head, Orlando. BUT I need a really enticing (sexy lol) city/town with a few good tracks to get some excitement in within the group so we can do a trip every year. Some nightlife wouldnt hurt but we can live without it. Thanks in advance.

It’s hard to explain, but whatever is wrong with me I’m good enough to kinda deal with it so people think I’m fine/making it up, but I’m bad enough at dealing with it where it still affects me.
First: I have short frenulum linguae - the membrane you have under your tounge. Mike Tyson has the same thing, that’s why he talks weird like that. On top of that I live in a country with one of if not the most difficult language in the world. Most people with my condition can’t say some letters, and almost noone can say hard r which is common in my language. I’ve practiced as a kid, so I can say all the letters, but I’m still hard to understand, but not enough for people to realise there is something wrong with me physically, so they just think I’m weird like that.
Second: trauma. I went through trauma and whenever I get ptsd or try to avoid it people won’t understand it. There’s this one musical artist who triggers it, so I find it problematic to express that I’d rather not listen to him becouse it’s bad for my mental. I’m not bad enough at dealing with it where other people would help me or at least aknowledge it as truth, but it still heavily affects me I still have sleepless nights, I still shake uncontrollably alone in my room, but it’s not bad enough for people to care.
Third: depression the same as with trauma basically.
I feel like I would be better off by being worse at dealing with these things. Becouse I’m at the point where you are completely on your own. If you are worse at these things at least it will be aknowledged and someone may support you. Obviously I’d rather not have these problems affect me at all, but I don’t think I will ever be able to find solution.
Sorry that this post is this long but I have no idea how to shorten it.

Admitting we have a problem is the first step in solving it! Author is a Eugenean talking about her experience with rising crime in the city, never saw this story but hey, still relevant today. Found this little gem by random chance. Title is a hopefully relatable quote from the article. You can agree or disagree with the author, but it's actually pretty well written with sources included. (just including the whole article, for people who don't want to click links!)

I Caught Two Men Stealing From My Home. The Aftermath Was Absurd—and All Too Typical.

This experience crystallized Oregon’s deeper problems.

BY REBECCA SCHUMANJUNE 21, 20225:40 AM
Typically, guys wearing power-company vests don’t leave the houses they’re working on laden down with backpacks—let alone power tools, a scooter, and a Nintendo Switch. But that was the scene I happened upon at 6:30 p.m. on a Tuesday in mid-April when I puttered into my driveway in Eugene, Oregon, my 7-year-old ensconced in the back seat.
For a second, my brain tried to normalize the incident: This is just my daughter’s dad stopping by—except there are two of him, and they’re dressed as electricians for some reason? Then, a second later, everything whooshed into place: Oh, wait, I’m being robbed. Or, rather, I was being burgled. I would get reminded of this distinction later, when I made the dubious choice to join the chorus of aggrieved buttinskies on Nextdoor, where my well-meaning post to warn the neighborhood would turn me into an accidental vigilante hero for a day.
Unfortunately, it’s true: My reaction to this burgle was the lived-out fantasy of many who have been on the business end of a property crime. As the two goons took off on foot down my street, I went into fight-or-flight mode—and I chose fight.
“Well,” I said to my confused child, “let’s go see if we can get our stuff back.”
I peeled my 2005 Subaru back onto the street and easily overtook my two targets, who then hurtled themselves into an alley, whereupon I cornered one by the driver’s side window as the other made haste across the adjacent parking lot.
“Just give it back, bro!” I yelled out my window. “Just give it back! I’m a single mom! Just give it back.”
I repeated this until either I reminded him too much of his meanest teacher or he realized he’d been caught in broad daylight. “Fine,” he said. “Just fucking take it.”
He shoved a backpack through my driver’s side window. Inside it was both my laptops and my daughter’s iPad from school. Back at home, I would discover these guys had used channel lock pliers to force open the back door, but that the general chaos of my home had prevented them from locating my passport, jewelry, or sole item of irreplaceable value: the Montblanc fountain pen that my father, who died in a bicycle accident two years ago, had gotten for his law school graduation. My cat was unfazed.
I can honestly tell you that this little caper of mine was thrilling and deeply satisfying. It was also the exact wrong thing to do. Even this fanatical open-carry gun website implores: “Don’t chase criminals.” What if these two dipsticks had been armed? As unlikely as that was—property crime in my town is often driven by addiction, and weapons are worth money, which can buy drugs—I put myself and my child in potential danger. And for what? Three grand worth of electronics. As any reputable expert will tell you, you’re never to give chase to a thief, because human life is not worth possessions. As much as I admit to enjoying being called a “badass” by everyone I told this story, plus the listeners of KLCC Oregon, I should not have done this.
I did call the police, on the nonemergency line, because the dudes were long gone and nobody was hurt. I declined the dispatcher’s offer to send two officers to fingerprint a bunch of stuff I’d already touched. At best, that would have just added two more sets of prints to my town’s burgeoning roster of perennially at-large property criminals.
There are larger issues here, issues much more important than my would-be cool story. First, it’s an example of how in Eugene, small-scale property crime is now de facto legal. It is largely nonviolent, so it’s rarely seen as worth police resources to track down the goods. At the same time, it is so prevalent that any time one vest-wearing bozo gets nabbed, three more spring up in his place. This was my house’s second break-in in six months, and my fourth property crime total in the three years I’ve lived here as an adult. Eugene is my hometown, so I can also add the four times my childhood house, where my mother still lives, has been burgled since the early 2000s. When I was little, we left our front door unlocked so regularly that I wasn’t aware front doors had locks on them until I was much older. By the time I turned 30, however, every door in my parents’ house had been pried open at least once. (“Time to finally get that alarm system!” said my dad for three straight decades.)
Still, it’s a mistake to treat this trend solely as a vexing crime problem. Eugene’s descent into its property crime epidemic has been concurrent, unsurprisingly, with two addiction epidemics: First, the methamphetamine nightmare of the 1990s—when pseudoephedrine pills were still unregulated—hit Oregon and other Western states particularly hard. That wave segued all too naturally into the opioid and fentanyl crisis of the present. Meanwhile, not only did meth never really leave, but its use in Oregon also surged with the pandemic, with three Oregonians per day currently dying a drug-related death.
Since our conversation was necessarily brief, I don’t know the housing or drug situation of the guys who broke into my place. But local statistics point to them as two more casualties of these plagues. (Granted, those statistics are from nearby Portland, and they are police-sourced, so take them how you wish.)
For all the ambivalent empathy that the opioid epidemic has engendered, the local property crime scourge has set off a fierce public backlash. My incident brought out an unsurprising chorus of bloodlust on Nextdoor and elsewhere, when I shared it because I wanted to give my immediate neighbors a heads-up: “You should have kicked their asses,” they wrote. “We need to rise up and defend our property.”
This town’s petty crime is often attributed, at least in the national conservative press, to our West Coast government’s decision to temporarily allow urban camping during the pandemic. (That policy has now officially ended, for what it’s worth.) Towns like mine have often been characterized in the popular imagination as unlivable crime-addled hellholes. I will be the first to admit that our tent cities are sometimes blatant open-air drug markets, but this is the case even as our property values inflate to absurd proportions—and our crime is actually on the decline. Still, Oregonians like me currently have about a 2.7 percent chance of being burgled, which, at almost 30 percent higher than the national average, is very high. I learned very efficiently how anecdotes like mine get around (I can’t help it if I’m a dynamic storyteller!) and attract the righteous indignation of other former victims, so many often feel, incorrectly, like we few honest vanguards are awash in a sea of riffraff.
This atmosphere, in turn, inspires my locality’s equally unreasonable political extremists to put forth and exacerbate their own untenable solutions. Even in a hyperpolarized American environment, Oregon is more polarized than most. For decades, our liberal enclaves have made Portlandia look understated, while our conservative areas make Texas’ look progressive.
For example, during the heyday of Eugene’s recently dismantled and infamous Washington Jefferson Park tent city, a larger break-in at a bicycle store was traced at least partially back to the encampment. The police swept the tents and made a flurry of arrests. Some of the bikes were found. This resulted in part in outrage over using resources to hassle the city’s most impoverished residents: “A stolen bike, yes, that sucks,” an advocate for the unhoused told a local news outlet. “But what are your priorities? And I’m sorry, but a stolen bike isn’t the priority.”
Well, trust me, in this town, it definitely isn’t. Recovering those bikes was an anomaly; in Eugene, most of these burglaries go unsolved. In fact, 87 percent of burglaries in the whole country do, too. The get-tough-on-property-crime proponents assert that statistically, this sends a message that stealing is fair game, and sure, that is a message I do not condone. But I also agree with a somewhat less rabid version of the opposing view: Property is replaceable, these crimes are nonviolent, and everyone currently rifling through houses and dealing drugs out of tents in my town is human. They deserve a chance to get their lives on track.
So, what should be the town’s priority? Fixing the addiction epidemics is a perilously long way away from happening, for reasons that are as polarizing as addiction’s consequences. In the sobering and excellent Dopesick, author Beth Macy goes into painfully exacting detail about opioids’ near-inescapable hold on the human brain. Macy argues that the true way out of this epidemic is “low-barrier treatment,” which includes supportive housing and medical interventions such as safe injection supplies, fentanyl testing strips, buprenorphine access, and supervised consumption sites. All of these options, however, are a tough sell even in a “progressive” town like Eugene, where supervised consumption sites are what NIMBY nightmares are made of, and low-barrier treatment can run up against deeply held moral stigma: Gas is $5 a gallon, and my taxes are going to some junkie?
In the meantime, while some admirably advocate and vote and wait for those breakthroughs, what should we do about the burglaries themselves? Should we pursue more law enforcement, or more compassion toward the burglars? More arrests that allegedly might deter this, or policies that might alleviate income inequality? Does—as approximately 83 percent of the suggestions from my Nextdoor thread contended—every house in town need a tripwire that handcuffs trespassers on sight? Or should all businesses be taxed at 500 percent, and the proceeds used to furnish every fentanyl dealer in town with a nice apartment and mad cash? The debate has degenerated such that these are the sorts of cartoonish positions each side believes they’re fighting—and, in fact, are the only available choices. Just check out Eugene’s Reddit section any day, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.
The actual blight on small American towns like mine isn’t property crime. It’s that any tenable solution to it has been swallowed up into a churning abyss of extremism and perceived counterextremism. No one seems to have a convincing answer to the most basic question: So what should we do? What should I do?
Burglaries don’t have to be largely unsolvable, and more property criminals could be apprehended. But while I don’t want those dudes or any of their buddies to come back to my house, I also don’t want them in an American prison, where their “rehabilitation” will consist largely of learning better ways to commit even bigger crimes when they get out, and their options for alternative forms of acquiring money will be even more limited than they are now. Lacking any meaningful restorative justice program for petty thieves in my town (which would, in turn, necessitate locating and apprehending them), I decided my own problems could be solved, for now, with a padlock on my back gate.
And then, not long after the break-in, a Nintendo Switch appeared on my town’s Craigslist. Its included components and color combination were identical to the set stolen from my house. I debated, briefly, bringing my vigilante justice alter ego Super Annoying out of retirement, answering the ad and showing up to shrill my wrongdoers into returning what was mine. But this time, I thought better of it. My life is not worth much, but it’s probably worth more than Mario Kart. I can only hope the console’s new owners enjoy it as much as my daughter did—at least until someone steals it again.

Hello to everyone who stumbled upon my humble post. I’m really bad at these things but here goes.
I often find life to be sad and boring. There are serious problems in the world and my personal life can be a bit stale on an everyday basis; that’s why I love to read about impossible worlds, it’s why I love to write stories of intrigue and magic, and it’s why I play D&D. If you feel the same or are someone like minded I would love to gain you as a pen pal.
If your a writer like me it would be awesome to talk about our writing projects, critique our ideas, and maybe swap samples now and again
If your a bibliophile like me I can talk your ear off for hours about books and listen for an hour too
If you like gaming of any kind maybe we can talk about the worlds we’re exploring and how things are going.
If you like fantasy based magic in general maybe we can simply have engaging discussions about what kind of magic we would do if we were wizard/witches. How we would escape from a dragons lair. Or what really is better a spell or a potion.
Along the way I’d love to learn about you too. Watch something good on tv? Engaged in your favorite hobby? Can’t get a song out of your head? I’m up for talking about all that and more with you.

Long story short, I applied a lot, got one interview, had all the qualifications but was denied cause I wasnt enrolled into a specific program. Tried shadowing for free, was denied by multiple departments. I applied to at least a dozen more this week but its looking like a shot in the dark. In regards to my resume, I had it peer reviewed by both professors and the writing center. Assuming I dont get an internship as I am a junior, what should I pursue?
I was thinking of doing volunteer work where I teach about Info Tech & Security but am unsure if that would remotely cut it. As for projects, I am definitely going to do that but am unsure if If that will do good either. In terms of networking with friends and family I have and am currently trying that but I dont think im gonna get far.
What is the best course of action and am I doomed if Im unable to acquire one?

i have an issue with my interest solely being on horses themselves. i have no interest whatsoever in equestrianism, be that riding, training, shows, whatever. i have never been able to get myself interested in any of that and have struggled finding horse media i like for most of my life because of it
i want to know if there are any good games at ALL that let you customize and play *as* a horse, preferably in the wilderness
ive heard of “horse life” on steam but that game is “coming soon” and i don’t want to wait for potentially over a year or more for a game that night not even be good
i am also not interested in online games/MMOs like star stable. i am very shy on the internet and would prefer a standalone, play-alone experience
my dream game would probably be a combination of the sims but horses and a light survival/exploration simulator, but i’m fairly certain nothing like that exists
i have played: sims 4 horse ranch expansion (love the customization but the sims gameplay of “click on thing to interact” isn’t very exciting, plus you can’t play AS the horses since they’re considered pets), silver buckle stables (over a decade and a half ago, i loved the horse customization and liked the stable care parts, but the surrounding world was lackluster), and the barbie pegasus game (also over a decade and a half ago, my disc was glitched and i couldn’t ever play the actual game, all i could do was stay in the training area)
fantasy aspects (unicorns, pegasus, etc) would be highly appreciated but are not essential

This will be my first time ever openly sharing about my addiction; from the root cause to the effects and struggles that having a porn addiction has impacted my life to this day
So I just recently turned 21 and I'm beginning to look around and realize that for as long as I've acknowledged that I have a problem and need to quit, I keep feeding the addiction KNOWING that it's ruining my life. I'm going to split this post into 3 sections explaining the following stages: The root causes/early development, Progression of my addiction to current day, and Main struggles from my PA and how I go about everyday life to heal. Not exactly sure why I'm posting this but I just feel like it's something I need to let out. Hope someone can relate or give me their take on it.
The root causes/early development: So I believe that my PA manifested due to a few different reasons: Playing "doctor" with my sister as a child, early age porn exposure, and then using porn as a coping mechanism to deal with any negative emotions. So starting w/ "playing doctor", it first happened at a very young age, somewhere between elementary school to 6th grade. I think most people know what that is but to keep it short basically my sister who is a year older than me introduced my to basically role playing as doctor and patient. I wasn't sure if SHE even knew it was wrong but the point is, it happened. I genuinely don't think she was doing in an abusive way but I'll never know. I don't remember the small details of exactly how it happened but what leads me to think this was a factor that contributed to my porn addiction is that I know now as an adult that it's wrong, however as we "played doctor" I only grew to enjoy it and occasionally we took things outside of "playing doctor" - which is why I don't know what to make of it... Long story short it went from "doctor" to us making up our own games like "spy" where we pretended to fight each other as spy's, getting "knocked out" unconscious while she'd touch... and I specifically remember wanting to play these games in hopes that it led to that. But even outside of playing games I grew to wanting to touch her and act on perverted thoughts as a child that were NOT normal for my age or in general. And sometimes I would sneakily act on them - which as I'm reflecting on right now makes me think that me KNOWINGLY trying to be sneaky and act on perverted thoughts at that young of an age had to have carried on with me as I got older (contributing to my porn addiction).. And then the last thing that I vividly remember was when I was probably 10-12 years old is when again we were actually kind of aggressively play fighting, somehow ended up with each other's hands DOWN THERE mutually and we kept going on with each other until she made me.... yeah. And that was the last memory I had of what started out as us "playing doctor". Fast forward to current date since that last memory and we've never spoken about those experiences (more on that later). Going onto the actual exposure of pornography and WATCHING porn, I was exposed to it somewhere in between the same timeframe as when I'd play doctor and the last memory of us playing (somewhere between the ages of 8-12). I can vividly remember the scene that played late at night on the tv that my parents had left on (I shared a room with them). And then moving forward from there, somewhere in between I would find videos on YouTube of this "prank" channel where he'd go up to paid actors, bet that if he beat them in rock paper scissors that they'd have to make out with him. And as a young kid at the time seeing a girl in a bikini making out with a guy as he grabbed on her ass just made me horny and I learned to masturbate from there. And I cant think of a stronger dopamine hit for a 8-12 year old little me at the time than seeing those videos and pleasuring myself. After this, I'd hit middle school where I was bullied a lot, all while lacking social skills necessary to make any genuine friends or deal with the emotional turmoil of being bullied. Fast forward a few months and I think I just progressively began to normalize using porn as a coping mechanism - All the way from whenever I just got mad while dying repetitively on the videogame, to avoiding the fact that I hated my life everyday that I went to school. I'd use porn to receive that "good feeling" whenever I could. And I think my sexual addiction got worse when I began touching myself in the shower almost everyday in middle school to the imagination of the pretty girls that were at my school, even though I had neverarely talked to some of them. It was just a thing for me where every night I took a shower, I closed my eyes and fantasized about doing stuff with them. And then the cycles of me normalizing these things continued and eventually I found out about REAL porn sites.
Progression of my addiction to current day: So shortly after finding the real porn sites I entirely opted to use those as much as possible as the cycle continued. So by my freshman year of high school I was already using porn sites regularly. I remember during summer and winter breaks, sometimes I'd sleep at my grandmas and stay up all night switching from ejaculating to porn, to watching my favorite youtuber and streamers, to going back to jerking off. It was a multiple times a day/night occurrence OFTEN. Sometimes even during the middle of the day I'd pretend to use the bathroom but really I had a porn video pulled up and I watched until I was done. And as time progressed one video didn't exactly cut it for me. I don't think its that I couldn't get off to the first video, but more so that I just had the urge to see more and didn't want to nut yet. I didn't even know if I was purposely edging or not. I did not even understand that edging was a concept yet. Its just something that occurred naturally for me. And during all of this, I am still somewhere in the age range of 13-15. Consistently ejaculating to pornography, further exploring the more basic categories of porn like anal and lesbian. I think a notable memory was one of the first times I watched porn in the middle of work during summer break (extended family owns a construction company so I worked over breaks). It's crazy because in construction all we have are porta-potties that are always hot and nasty and the urge just came over me one day to pretend like I was using the bathroom and get one off before I went back... I don't think I even realized at the time that I had an addiction because this was still early high school. It was just something I looked at as a good feeling and whenever the urges came to me I took any chance I got to fulfill them. Even if I was sharing a room with a family member, I'd be as slow and quit as I could, touch myself under the covers, finish in my underwear and then showechange the next morning like it was normal. Moving forward, this type of behavior continues all the way throughout high school and the feeling of ejaculating just is not as intense as it use to be, so I look up ways to spice it up and I tried shit all the way from sitting on my own hand til it goes sort or numb so it "feels like someone else is touching you", to doing it in more risky places like my backyard outside when I was home alone and had my pants pulled down all the way, to whatever else I could try. Reflecting back, I just look at all these actions as the progressions of a sexual/porn addiction that is still developing. And this is how I rationalize the way I developed a porn addiction. Now it wasn't AWFUL in high school but it was getting bad. I realized that I had actually had a bad addiction that needed to be addressed a few months after graduating high school. From that point forward It was something that I had acknowledged was an issue but nonetheless, continued to do out of habit and as a continued coping mechanism. Whether it was from the lack of relationships, to my current life situation/direction I was headed in, or just any negative emotion - I used porn to release. Sometimes I'd even just do it out of boredom, not even because I had a dying urge to get one off. And then after that point of realization, I sat in "depression" for a few months still going about my everyday life until one day my dad mentioned that I should try therapy. He knew nothing about the addiction but I did let him know I feel depressed and the many struggles that I faced - which I believe is due to my porn addiction. So long story short, I go to therapy for about 3 sessions and end up dropping it because it just wasn't something I felt was helping or enjoyed (more on that later). From there to current day, I've gone at MOST one week periods attempting to quit porn and every time I relapse. From the age of 1 to-current day 21 years old, the progression of the categories of porn that I watch has grown and a few different fetishes like face sitting, femdom, and role play has increased. I don't NEED to watch these specific categories to get off, however these are ones I've found myself most recently watching and edging to, sometimes for 1-3 hours at a time, usually at night on weekends or before I fall asleep. And to take it a step further, I had started pouring money into camgirl sites, phone sex sites, only fans, etc.. I live with my parents still so it's not to the point that I'm broke and have no money, but still what the fuck am I doing putting my hard earned money into a porn addiction... (I'm a functioning adult on a pathway to financial freedom, more on this later).
Main struggles from my PA and how I go about everyday life to heal: So I believe that the main struggles with my porn addiction consist of: the inability/struggle to create and maintain healthy relationships, low self esteem, poor social skills, lack of motivation, and the cognitive dissonance of continuing my addiction to porn even though morally I believe it is wrong to lust over. I believe all of these struggles that come with porn are connected to each other - minus the cognitive dissonance. But everything else kind of stacks on top of each other. So my thought process is that I already dealt w/ low self esteem and confidence from a very young age, and porn just completely enhanced those problems and made it even harder to fix/work on. If you're anything like me and have watched videos on the sciences of porn on your brain, and possible struggles that we deal with, I'm assuming you know how it goes for the most part. I'd say I show symptoms of all effects of being a porn addict, however I've learned to "act normal" to an extent. Like YES I struggle to make friends and hold conversations with people in general but I can make it happen. Sure it'll be a little awkward depending on who I'm speaking to, but I feel like I act normal enough to not be a total outcast and all out weirdo around people. But I just feel like every relationship I have with anyone is extremely surface level or unfulfilling. I feel like as a person I lack so much substance and personality due to the fact that I never really put myself out there and learned social skills when I was coming up. My mindset was molded into something like "keep your head down and stay out the way" in order to avoid conflict. So I never really put myself out there to develop any type of super crazy/interesting personality. I work, play videogames, go to the gym, watch anime. I feel like there's not much else - which might also be a side affect of my porn addiction. Lack of emotion. And I refuse to call it depression. Kind of got red pilled by Andrew Tate Philosophy and it entirely HAS helped me. Maybe it's real, maybe it's not - because when I was fresh out of high school and hyper focused on the bad parts of my life, I felt depressed as shit. Legit like I couldn't do anything to fix it. And the more I identified as "depressed" the more I allowed myself to look for things in my life to confirm that belief. So eventually I went on a self improvement journey and just stopped allowing "depression" to hold power over me. Now I don't believe in it so it's not something that can hold me down in that crippling way. HOWEVER, I DO believe in just being in a shitty situation - which is what I feel like having a porn addiction along with it's effects and symptoms is. It's a shitty situation and I can either allow it to keep ruining my life OR I can get up everyday and attempt to fix it. And I refuse to play the victim card. Sure, I may have been exposed to some fucked up shit at a young age and used porn as a coping mechanism. There is no denying that it happened and that it may have been unfair and out of my control. YES, that's my problem. I may be a victim of pornography but I do not have to ALLOW it to continue to ruin my life. Easier said than done but it's definitely possible and I will not blame my lack of discipline or call it "depression" because I'm unable to quit. The way I see it is, there is a lot of shit that happened to me in the past that I have to come to terms with, and then I must come up with a plan to improve and learn how to be better. For example, struggling to hold eye contact with people, hold basic conversation with people (specifically women), find confidence within myself, become more social, etc... These are all skills that we can practice and learn. Simply by going outside and putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations that allow us to put the reps in. I believe that if I quit porn and start walking up to 10 strangers a day and try having simple conversations with them, in time I can only get better at being social and connecting with people. It's gonna suck and feel like shit at first, but I truly believe that it's a way to improve and get better. As I stand in my current situation I would say I have a lot of work to do but I'm still a functioning addict. I have friendships and relationships with family but they are very lack luster and I long for something deeper and more intimate. I know I'm not ugly and have the ability to pull a good looking girl, shit I've turned down this really pretty girl who always asks to hangout simply due to the fact that I feel like I'm gonna fuck it up and have bad social skills. And its getting to a point where friends and family are wondering why I haven't had a girlfriend in years. Overall its a lack of self esteem, which hinders me from being able to confidently put myself out there as a person who's deserving of love/companionship, which then makes me sort of self isolate and stray away from any type of connection or opportunity to be vulnerable. Which just leads me to feeling like a loser or someone that is undeserving of love because I'm just in a shitty situation. And yeah. Its kind of a self sabotaging cycle because I feel like I understand what's going on but I don't have the discipline and don't put the work in to get better. But that's just my two cents. This post was extremely long and I probably rifted off topic a few times and had my thoughts all over the place, and I still have a lot more I could give input about but this is the jist of everything
If anyone has a support group or needs someone to talk to, 1. I'd like to join the group, or 2. Feel free to message me for any support or conversation.

Basic American here, so my experiences come from the US. I am non-Jewish and was born into a Catholic family. Not that serious into religion, but went to Catholic school and learned all about Judaism, The Torah, the bible and all. I always learned that Judaism was quite similar to Catholicism (at least in theory) minus an addition to the Bible (I won't refer to it as the New Testament as that's more of a Christian thing), and we watched the prince of egypt, learned allll about the origin of the Jews and the persecutions, and I never saw a difference until I was older.
However, most people my age that I know who were born Christian grew up not believing in it and just being anti. Why should religion and a book written thousands of years ago with rules that are lacking progressivism dictate my life? This is not a post against anyone who follows the torah/bible, just explaining how modern society has shifted away from these beliefs. The thing is ... that trend with my Jewish friends and peers is not there. I actually think that everyone that I know who was born into a Jewish household has remained Jewish. Whether that is attending services, Friday night traditions, keeping kosher, learning Hebrew, etc., they have not wavered.
What keeps so many people in this religion? I know that it is also an ethnicity and very cultural, so being Jewish does not mean you are necessarily the most pious person in the world, but it still is interesting that in today's society, with perhaps a trend away from religion,. this religion has maintained its membership well. Is it common for people to question certain practices, such as avoiding pork? I would assume that eating kosher would be questioned, as more modern people in christianity would say "the bible was meant to evolve with time, let's change with it." Interestingly enough, Christians ignore a lot of the rules in the Old Testament (Christian name for it) such as keeping kosher, yet follow other 'rules' dictated in the Bible.
Am I wrong and maybe ALL of my Jewish friends stayed true, or is there something unique about Judaism that keeps membership well? What do you think from a personal perspective is the reason?
I am writing this long post because even though I am not religious, the history of it and the culture of it does fascinate me. I wonder what makes people stay religious especially when they were just born into it. Also, my friends always preached to me that Judaism is a very open religion and enjoys hearing ideas, and as a culture is very accepting, so perhaps that is a factor of why it retains its members in a modern world.
Thanks everyone!

My ex and I dated for about 3 months. We had a rule that he wasn't allowed to talk to his most recent ex. Their breakup was very recent so I was uncomfortable with them being in contact. That was one boundary that I put up pretty clearly and we both agreed on it.
Well, we are just chilling one day and I see messages of hers coming in. I demand to see his phone and I see a bunch of recent messages that they exchanged where he even asked her to play video games. So I break up with him right there because he crossed a boundary.
He does not take it well and begs me to give him another chance. I tell him to take all of his stuff and go. So he takes a while to do it and I kick him out.
I still had his location so later that night, I saw him drive to his ex's house. I called him crying, telling him that I was right about him. He leaves me a crazy amount of voicemails and missed calls. After that night, he wouldn't stop trying to reach out to me and it scared me because the texts were so desperate and intensely emotional. I was genuinely nervous about him coming over to yell at me because he seemed so volatile. I blocked him on everything.
The next day, he posted a video of him shaving his long hair short on social media. That freaked me out, he seemed so unwell in that video, so unstable.
So I was right about being scared because he came over to my house to drop off flowers and chocolate(I gave them away), and a card (I threw it out). I unblocked him to tell him that if he came over again, I was going to call the police. I blocked him again after that.
So here comes creepiness. He has been drawing cartoon pictures of me and posting them on his art account. One drawing is of him and I hugging and there is text that accompanies it which says, "Did she think I didn't love her?".
Another is of me as a cartoon, not wearing clothes, my naked cartoon body covered by my hair, with the text saying, "I hope it's not too late". What the fuck man.
The last one is a cartoon of me crouching down with text that says, "Does she think about me like I think about her?".
It is so so so creepy! I just want this whole relationship to never have happened. I have never fallen so out of love before that it has made me hate someone. I know it might sound mean, but I hate him. Like, I fr hate him and I just want him to leave me alone so that I can forget he exists. I hate him so much.
Thank you if you have read this far. It was cathartic writing this.

Anyone received a used product from Olive Young before?
I recently ordered the make prem glow beige sunscreen and a couple other items from olive young. I received it last night and opened the box this morning.
The make prem sunscreen’s sticker seal was already sliced open so that made me check out the condition of the products inside. I checked both and it was clear one of the bottles had been used / tested because there was sunscreen smeared on the inside of the tip and on the inside of the cap. From my experience, this only happens if the bottle had been squeezed. The other bottle was completely clean and clear. I have not tried or squeezed either of these bottles.
I messaged OY telling them about this and asking for an exchange for the same exact thing but in new condition and this was their response.
“Thank you for your inquiry.
First, we are sorry for the inconvenience caused.
Please note that Global OLIVE YOUNG does not sell or ship out used products under any circumstances.
The condition of the product you received may have occurred during the delivery process. However, as the product itself is brand new, you may use it without any issues. We apologize for any inconvenience caused.
Thank you, Global OLIVE YOUNG.”
Not sure what to do. Obviously I’m going to chuck away the used bottle. They claim it might have happened during delivery, but shouldn’t that have affected both bottles during shipping? The shipping box was completely fine. So what squeezed it?
Either way, I am severely disappointed in Olive Young and their customer service. Their reply was completely devoid of understanding of the situation and sounded like a bot.

Everyone seems to be digging this album, so I suppose ill strike while the iron is hot here - does anyone else find the level of lyricism in this album not only a high point for the band (though frankly, they've always had good lyricism especially for the scene they're in), but also just very solid even out of the musical context?
I'll admit to being a bit of a nerd when it comes to writing and lit, and after listening to the album I sat down and listened again while reading through the lyrics of each song as they played and was left with a few standouts.
1) From the initial track, 'Thirst.'
Followed by the thirst An honest gaze left broken and marred
...
Dragging my knuckles Forward but through the mud Secluded lower form Sickened by my thirst for change
..
Though not the strongest lyrics on the album, still evocative imagery and impressively emotionally compelling while also being careful in its diction. Like the message of the song (and extending to the album, really) the song comes with a sense of jagged brevity which to me adds to the poignancy of it. It also sets the continuing motif of water being an agent of change, the process of grief and loss (of people, identity, and faith) being the core of the album.
2) From 'Don't Reach For Me'
I dream of a cleansing wave Reborn Don't reach for me No lies can spread (Spread, spread) From a tongue removed
..
I dream of a cleansing wave Set me free I return to form No longer bound to mе
Though this track is much more on the nose, largely characterized by the visceral and aggressive dogma that metalcore is known for, is still points back to the previous ideals and symbolism established in the initial tracks. Again we are lent the idea that water will wash away (erode, even) our imperfections. Change will aid in the 'return to form,' grief and harbored grudges 'no longer bound to me."
3) This one is cheating, as it's really the whole song of 'Moss Covers All' with its 46 second run time:
This house just swallows me It doesn't feel like it did before Trapped in endless rain Barren moor
And all the vines will find their way Through the dirt and hardened clay
The wind and rain will force decay Moss covers all
This frankly reads pretty well even as spoken word poetry. From the established messages of conflicting ideals of faith, self, and loss, we are given the line 'Trapped in endless rain, barren moor.' This deep into the album the layers have been stripped away, and we get the image of rocks, stripped and naked (barren) being exposed to the harsh elements of rain (water) again. Over time, despite everything, this allows moss and roots to crack and mold them. Neat.
4) Jumping from 'Moss Covers All' immediately into 'The Calm that keeps You Awake'
You fill your home with waves Nothing still can stay When the storm starts to recede Parting clouds reveal your grief Nothing still can stay
Hey look at that! Water enacting change again. Who'da thunk? While not super overt and beating you over the head every track, the album continues its steady use of the metaphor. I'm impressed by how lyrically cohesive and well stated the album is, with this never coming across as corny. Again, the imagery lent from the lyrics are both very well done and somewhat understated, especially when examined through the context of typical metalcore lyricism.
5) Closing with 'Sit and Mourn'
Collecting petals of every memory All I'm left with is all I know (I know) Finding my own time to sit and mourn Grief that spreads but will not show
..
A test at every turn All I focus on is strength I will carry you through fire
Loss we share means swallowing pain Will you inherit my grief If I finally choose to sleep?
..
"Why'd you leave?" "I feel like I'vе failed."
I really, really like this closing track. The amazing mixing, use of ambience, and killer vocals / instrumentals aside, I found the change in expression super neat here. Once again we are given the notion of grief expressed as petals. i.e. plant life and growth. While capable of shattering and eroding rocks (barren moore, yada yada) it also can create beauty. Grief then once again can be seen as spreading through the soil, unseen from above.
This final use of the recurrent theme is then given its needed closing juxtaposition, as they express the strength needed to 'carry you through fire.' While the grief and doubt expressed thus far has always been in the processing stage, prone to mourning and self reflection, in this last closing cacophony we are seeing the narrator of the album push aside their own feelings to help someone through the immediate feelings of loss and rage and pain that come from a fresh loss. Then, the expressed doubt of if the narrator gives up, will the party they are helping have that fire smolder and die, finding themselves dealing the cold, liquid grief we've heard about up to this point.
The final eerie quote from this track implies that this did happen, and the cycle of the album will continue as this person who could not be helped slips into the thirst for change within their heart, and the constant state of erosion granted by that search.
TL;DR - This album rocks in a lot of ways, and I think the lyrics are a huge part.

Thomas had to write a story for class. His English teacher wanted him to write a story about anything. He had no idea what to write. He could not think of a good idea. He wanted to do well on this assignment.

What's up all! 4th Wall here! I finally have power returned to my home, and can play a little catch up! This one's a heavy hitter, No NSFW needed (I hope) but if you've got kids, be warned.
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A bright flash of blues and whites spat a greyish black object into normal space a mere one hundred Clicks from physical asteroid cloud that provided a natural barrier into the Lurix system. USN Olyvia’s drives instantly flared to life, and she made for the outer edges of the asteroid field with a purposeful stride. The senior Crew was at hand, having alternated shifts so they were well rested for this endeavor. Captain Correllus Grarzia shifted in his chair slightly, watching with interest as his star helmsman switched from his standard control configuration to a more “analog” twin joystick and pedals. ‘The kid really should be piloting a fighter’ he mused just as the young lad turned to look at him. “Ready, skipper”

“Take us in. All ahead slow.” Cory ordered calmly, before keying up the ship wide broadcasting channel. “This is the captain. We’ve just entered the Lurix system. Rig for silent running. I repeat, rig for silent running.” All across the ship, nonessential systems were shut down; their lack of electronic signature aiding the stealth coating on the bulky former troop transport. In engineering. Patrick, Cammy, and the rest of their section powered down a large portion of the larger systems onboard.

Life support was set to emergency backup, with old school oxygen candles lit in special housings that allowed their life-giving emissions to be circulated throughout the ship. Each major section of the vessel had their own supplies of these low-tech solutions, and Olyvia carried enough of these candles to survive for several days without functioning life support if needed.

Only a few were lit this time, using them as an augmentation to allow for minimal use of their perfectly functioning life support systems; and Cammy returned from the compartment just in time to aid in shutting down two thirds of Olyvia’s fusion reactors. This was not usually part of the silent running protocol, but Cory had added it for this mission. While they knew where their target would be, they still knew very little about what defenses awaited them inside the system.

Patrick keyed up the mic, “Engineering reporting in, silent running.”

*acknowledged* came a voice back. And Patrick leaned back in his chair just as Cammy arrived. “Well, that’s that.” He sighed.

Cammy stepped behind his chair, rubbing his shoulders for a second, “candles are lit. Two per section. At this rate we won’t run out for a year.”

Patrick chuckled, standing before looking over at his team, “sandwiches are in the mess hall. Half go now, half after. We’ll wait and go with second shift.” The team nodded and soon. The room was half as full. “Hurry up, and wait” Patrick mused, and turned to the rest. “Hold’em anyone?”

Over the next several days, shifts were kept short with a high rotation frequency. Olyvia picked her way through the natural minefield created by a destroyed world, slipping between the dead planetary shards with deadly caution. She ran quiet, with all but minimal deflectors shut down, and a single detuned laser online on each of her flanks as a last resort against impacts. Cory, Jesse, Patrick, and Cammy met regularly to keep tabs on the ship’s progress. The admiral’s transmission had reached them in time, and the four of them, plus Jacky when she could pry herself from the infirmary, worked to formulate a plan to get into the freighter without killing everyone. They had Hera and Jacobs reports, but those reports also admitted to a certain degree of incredible luck on their part. Things could have gone very differently, and the murder of the freighter during the admiral’s capture operation hinted at a change in tactics from their foe.

Mackenzie’s Privateers had liberated several freighters since they began operations, keeping to their cover as “pirates” by leaving nothing big enough to betray their secrets behind. A few of the other captains had left pieces of inoperative Unity tech, strategically damaged and jettisoned after the fight, as red herrings to convince both the Vorath, and the Thermians that these “pirates” had somehow gotten ahold of Unity warships.


Cory stepped into the cargo bay to meet Patric and Camorra. They were tinkering, carefully he hoped, with one of Olyvia’s harpoon missiles. It was a project triggered by Cammy’s brilliant, if outlandish, idea. “We know these freighters all ran the same codes, and the same infrastructure in their computer cores. Why can’t we hack it. Human computing should be perfectly capable of it.” Cory remembered her words as he stepped up to the two, “at ease” he waved them away as they threatened to salute him, “how’s out little project coming.”


“See for yourself” Patrick smiled handing him a data pad.

Cory took the offered device, quickly scanning through the data, “All I see is Olyvia’s system logs. Did you give me the wrong one?”

Patric smiled evilly, “that is coming from the missile, we found a common power regulator chip that dam near all Delmar freighters use in their integrated core management. Our mole here mimicked that regulators protocols to get into one we installed in a conduit over there” he pointed to an open panel. “It’s designed to cycle through several common chip sets and protocols to get access.”

“You hacked Olyvia?” Cory asked, eyebrow raised in a combination of amusement and irritation.

“Well, “Cammy said calmly, “we had to test it, and Oly’s the only ship close enough…”

“I see…” Cory mused, “it will have to do, we will be reaching the edge of the field in three days, how many of these can you have ready?”

Patrick scratched the red stubble punctuating his jaw line. “Hmm two, maybe three, including that one.” He winced at his captain’s expression, “took us a minute to get the virus right, sorry.”

Cory sounded to himself like a broken record, “I guess that will have to do as well. I’ll leave it to you.” He turned to return to his office but was interrupted half way there by an urgent request for his presence on the bridge.

Jesse rose to greet him as Cory stepped into Olyvia’s command center, and he nodded towards the ready room off to the side. The two of them quickly stepped inside and Jesse closed the door. “Jesse, what’s this about” Cory asked, settling into his desk chair.

Jesse, his first officer, and battle born brother looked at him seriously, “The first of our stealth probes have made it into the system proper….. It’s not good” He tapped at his data pad before handing it to his captain, “The enemy is doing something big down there, and we don’t know what. What we do know, Is that there are three heavy cruisers in orbit, and three more destroyers in floating patrols around the system.”

Cory scrolled through the pad as his first officer made his report, pausing at the same information on the planet’s surface, “These are military installations. This makes no since. We haven’t had a use for Lurix in millennia. It’s always just been a haven for aquatic and semi aquatic species. Why didn’t our intel warn us of this.”

Jesse nodded grimly, “I don’t know for sure, but I have my suspicions.” He reached over, tapping at the tab to open a particular file Cory had yet to find. “We found these in orbit as well.” He pointed to a pair of Delmar constructed freighters, parked in orbit over the marsh world. “I authorized a single transmission to a single drone, uploading Patrick and Camorra’s hacking program into it, and we sent it to one of those freighters... this is what we found.”

Cory opened the indicated file, and felt bile rise in the back of his throat as he watched. “Ready a tight beam, send it back the way we came, Towards Simo.” Jesse looked at his captain in understanding. The risks of transmitting this close to the enemy was a grave risk. Measured against the information they just witnessed; however, it was an absolute necessity. Jesse took the offered tablet, “The Admirals need to see this…. Both of them.”

————————————————————


Clint Stevens groaned as his communicator beeped from his desk. It was a very early morning on a weekend, and Frie had let Natalie stay at her grandparents for the weekend. He quietly slipped from the entanglements of a profoundly comfortable Delmar goddess he had somehow been gifted with as his wife, and silently cursed the inevitable destruction of his plans. The Com was linked to his computer console, and Clint tapped the file as he sat down.

The file opened, beginning with a grim looking Corellus Grarzia who made an intro statement that froze Clint in his thoughts. Before he could begin to prepare himself, images flooded in that turned grogginess into razors edge consciousness ringing with a white hot fury. Frie was ripped from her slumber instantly, reaching for her biometric pistol safe as a response to the unbridled rage she experienced from her husband. It took her a moment to realize that they were not being attacked, and she rushed from their bed, neglecting even basic decency to be by his side.

The two of them watched the Horrors unfold. Children… small children of multiple different races, stacked in a freighter’s hold like cattle, being thrown food like one would an animal. Massive screens played, promising safety and full bellies should they only but kiss the hand of a severe looking Vorath female. All who had not, were treated to daily ice cold sprays mixed with random beatings. He watched as desperate older siblings attempted to shelter their kin from the abuse, often times paying the ultimate price for their valor.

Clint and Frie were spared a further assault on their senses by a beeping light, indicating an urgent call from Clint’s adopted brother. Frie slipped out of view, reaching for a night gown as a furious Mac, accompanied by an equal parts shocked and livid Lyrian, appeared on screen.


“You’ve seen it” Clint stated. There were no barriers between them, no formalities. Only pure truth.

“I have,” Mac rumbled. “Why is it always kids..”

Clint shook his head, “I can have a battle group there in two weeks. It’s not soon enough, but.”

Mac nodded sharply, “I’m redirecting everyone not on critical missions. Simo and Kid are already there with Olyvia. Wisconsin is enroute. We will await your arrival….. Clint…” Clint’s eyes met Mac’s in a joined promise that reached across time and space.

“No, there won’t.” Clint answered, responding to Mac’s unspoken statement.

___________________________________________________________

A week later, The Chancellor Thomas Durrant of the Sol Federation perused the latest transmissions from Unity space. He was due for reelection this coming fall, and it was a close race. His opponent was labelling him a Warmonger, as he was an outspoken proponent of a more active role in the struggle against the Vorath, and it was working. The points were closing in the polls, and The Chancellor had not come out on top with the latest debate results. Humanity simply was not interested in further conflict. For the first time in human history, the vast majority of the Human race was content with peace.

The Chancellor took a sip of his mug as he opened a file from Admiral Stevens marked priority, but not top secret and promptly spit the contents in his mouth back into the mug. It was a complete file on some kind of intelligence operation, and Durrant almost wondered if it had been sent to him in error. The gruesome cover video dispelled that notion as the leader of Humanity itself watched horrors thought long dead play out in front of him. Several minutes later, he closed the file, and opened a message prompt.


“Viktor, are you up.” He typed.

*Yea, Tom. I’m up, the campaign ain’t gonna run itself into the ground.*

Durrant snorted at the dark humor, “Viktor, I was sent something. It changes… everything” he typed, attaching the cover video, and the longer form surveillance recording he had found inside the file from Clint. Several minutes passed in tense silence before…

*Jesus Christ, Tom.*

Tom Durrant took a long slow breath, “Do you still have your man at The Post.” He paused before sending, knowing what he was asking.

*Yea… yea I do, Tom. Are you sure you want to do this. This has ‘it will blow up in my face’ written all over it.*

“I know, but this bigger than me. Do it, and announce a press conference to follow if The Post runs with it.” Durrant typed and sent the last message, closing down his console. He stood slowly, feeling his age for the first time in recent memory, and walked heavily to bed.

The Post ran with the story. In the next 48 hours, the “leaked” scenes of tortured children, some barely more than infants ripped its way into Humanities Psyche. The revelations of what exactly was going on behind Vorath lines assailed Humanity, spurring many to call for blood, and Others to cry hoax. Around and around the political commentators debated, and redebated the shocking footage.

Chancellor Thomas Durrant followed through on his word, and was now stepping up to the platform and the Microphone as promised. He stood there for a full minute, meeting the eyes of as many of the hundreds of reporters before him as he could. The weight of his expression prompted a flurry of flashes as camera drones captured the image. Durrant allowed all of this to happen, waiting until the din of activity settled into a heavy silence. “People of Humanity… By now, you have undoubtedly seen the shocking pictures from the far side of the galaxy. Many of you believe it to be a hoax, a desperate ploy for political points. Allow me to be clear. This is no hoax, I received these disturbing images directly from Admiral Clint Stevens, who is marshalling the forces at his disposal as we speak. He aims to do something about these orbital concentration camps, and I support his actions with the full backing of my authority as Chancellor of the United Sol Federation.”

Durrant paused, letting the information sink in before continuing, “to answer the question as to whether this is a political ploy for points. Let me be perfectly clear, I alone released the footage from inside those torture ships, and I do not care if you believe it to be a political ploy. If Humanity can see the atrocities committed to the young innocents in those images and refuse to stand up for them; I no longer would wish to lead that Humanity. Yes, we are few compared to what we once were, but we have a strength that cannot be fathomed by those who chose to side with pure evil. Make no mistake, any being that is capable of torturing and murdering children deserves the title.” The Chancellor of United Sol skewered the silent crowd with a withering gaze, “All of you here know that I have been an ardent supporter of taking a more active role against this pure evil, and my opponent has made a great many statements regarding my supposed “warmongering”. I believe that to debate him further on this matter is as wasteful as it would be irrelevant. As such, I am suspending my campaign immediately. Pending permission from donors and the campaign review board, I will be donating the totality of my campaign war-chest to the purchase of relief supplies and construction of rehabilitation facilities for these children.” Durrant paused as a wave of gasps swept through the room as a volley of flashes assaulted his eyes. “Holding the position of leader of the Human race seems so insignificant in comparison,” he said softly, almost to himself before scanning the crowd. “The election is 4 months away. If you wish to reelect me, so be it; but know this.” Thomas Durrant rose to his full height, “If you elect me this fall, know that I will use the full weight of this office to unleash the full might of Humanity upon this evil, or I will resign from my post and travel to Unity space myself.”

With that. Chancellor Thomas Durrant spun on his heals and marched off the stage.
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If you made it this far, Thank You! I hope you enjoyed the episode. If this if your first time seeing this series, I hope you will join us from the beginning. I do have a patreon that has extra content that is not main story arc, but still cannon shorts, as well as exclusive content from some of my other series. If you believe I've earned it, feel free to give it a look; but know that just coming to hang is already enough.
Have a wonderful rest of your day.
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