Alliteration pre school

5:36 PM Wed 5/8/24
Mood: Terrible
Title: Alone
Details: Last year I was told that there is a whole universe out there of people to find. And that I was being endlessly supported and that people were inspired by me.
This year I learned what it's like to be hunted and chased away from goodness. It has been the worst year of my entire life and with the knowledge that there is a whole universe out there--I feel lonelier than I was before.
Not a single person wants well for me. I have to translate my thoughts, behavior, intentions, symptoms, and soul to everyone.
There hasn't been a single rest from it in over 330 days. Just endless messes and ridicule and mocking and advances and terrorism.
I'm thought I was tired of people. But I walk outside and love them so much. I learned I'm not tired of people. But I'm so so so tired of loneliness.
Being around others doesn't stop you from being lonely. Because I'm still translating. My thoughts and feelings are still not reaching and the obvious signals I send to others are being deflected and mistranslated.
I'm tired of translating for to others. On paper it's so easy to understand a person. Watching it's easy to understand and to judge. But actually reacting appropriately to context and injustice and neurodivergence even is so lost to people.
This is why I wanted to write my story. Because people don't know how to cope. They don't know how to accept bad things. They don't know the difference between bad people and good people and even today our societies are too primitive to understand it.
They're still theororizing, contemplating, changing information for their gain...never have I seen any type of science be so abstractly and subjectively defiled as I've seen happen with mental health and neurodivergence.
People cannot separate the symptom from the person and punish and subjugate and continue to dominate those less fortunate.
I'm glad I know what happens to people they don't like. I know how dangerous people can be.
I wish I had someone to protect me. So I still find myself praying and wishing for one person. Just one person I don't have to translate myself to. Just one person I don't have to have grow tired of me. Just one person I don't have to compete with.
Growing up I was used to competing. Siblings, cousins, friends. In public AND private school there's always someone or something to compete. Today I compete with my parents and yesterday I compete with women who love the one I thought I loved.
I grew accustomed to hating my own birthday because of jealousy around it because my uncle was upset he shared it with my brother and I. And because I could never have it the way I enjoyed later. Too much. I'm too much. Too far. Too long. Too attention-seeking.
I had my chance as a teen with two friends so why isn't that enough for me? My parents were happy that I finally was taking a break from illness but since I got what I asked for then I'm a spoiled ass. As if they ever treated me better even then. Golden children are still abused even when the roles swap. Because no pleasantness is atrocious.
My family told me I was fat and going to get diabetes and have a heart attack and die despite never talking to me and being in high school--where weight isn't even done being "distributed" until your mid twenties. Thanks to the prime golden child my sister.
I'm tired of fighting and competing to be heard and to have needs met and to come across as kind or kinder. It's killing me.
Why can't I ever just be me?
Why can't I ever just be my authentic self? The one I want to be as a form of worship? Me in all my phases and feelings?
Why do I have to stuff myself down or look beautiful when I'm suffering in order to be a good and kind person worth saving?
I understand Nettle so much now. I wish I never did.
If I didn't have vocal fry would I be loved? If I didn't have fat would I be loved? If I didn't have brown or blonde hair would I be loved? If I forgave my parents and suffered quietly would I be loved?
If I had sweet doe eyes or a light mousy voice would someone finally think I had autism?
The ones I see on tiktok are drop dead gorgeous women with huge colorful lives and opportunities and get to complain about "pretty privelege"
Some have a light airiness to them that make them seem like fae.
And there's me who never fits anywhere or with anyone.
I have nothing and no one and absolutely no point.
I was okay before--before I had drive and passion to find my people. Before I had dreams of finding my way and accomplishing things. Before I had just one person.
It's so cruel. The people in this world are so cruel. I just want one person.
One person from God--and loving can be worship too. I'm too tired for much else.
Just one person to save me from their damnation that seems to last forever.
I'm so exhausted all the time.
My body hurts. My head hurts. My nerves feel like nothing.
I feel hopeless. Empty. I feel like the woman from my dream.
I feel betrayed--like others saw my future and pushed me into it head first with some kind of pre-revenge. Pinched. Twisted. Groped. Lost. Forced.
Called an attention whore. Gold digger.
I feel confused. People are trying desperately to make sure no one understands me.
I'm one girl. Against a whole universe and groups of people.
The emotional, psychological, and societal manipulation is obscure.
I keep reading revelations 2:24 to feel better.
It feels like Thyatira. I'm trying to hold fast to the idea that God may rescue me from whatever this is. A trial--make believe--experimentation--prisonment for knowing too much.
He asks we wait patiently for him to come and rescue us.
And many biblical figures had to wait for years and years. Upwards to like 100 if you were Abraham.
So while every day things feel like battle now, I am still trying.
I want to give myself OT and PT...I've done it for others so it can't be hard.
And with the flashbacks and emotional flashbacks and meltdowns and outbursts...I'm going to try treating myself for PTSD too.
Until I get the help I need somehow--I don't know what else to do.
I know others are tired of helping me. When you don't seem to receive pleasantness it's par for the course.
But I'm tired of competing for needs to be met. Can't everyone just work harder to understand bodies and minds and signals--then people would have their needs met and there'd be no need to compete.
I'm tired of fighting for myself. I'm tired of doing it alone.
I'm tired of being with others and doing it lonely.
The world isn't just crumbling due to climate change. Our minds are shifting and crumbling with it.
It makes sense. The weather affects people. Everyone I know is so tired. There's no way we are evolved enough to know God and be in his presence. There's no way we are advanced. Even this phone feels archaic to me--the programs we use feel archaic.
I understand now why capitalism is seen as demonic and evil. The control of drip marketing contents and technology is so slow and pointless.
Our resources are depleting. War is happening still. Communism wouldn't help either. It's the same song with a different tune.
I'll keep living because that's what he wants from people. I want to make God proud. I want people's lives to be easier.
I want people to stop competing and performing and wanting to die drenched in lies.
Maybe that's why it's a sin to lie. It halts evolution not just on others but yourself too. Living a lie halts growth.
It's difficult but Faith seems to be the part that is supposed to ground you in it. Like--I don't know WHY I can't lie in this situation but I have to be honest.
Anyways in these moments I wonder if philosophy and religion is a coping skill or a turning something bad into something good.
I guess I should just keep doing what I need to do and not what others want me to do.
It seems whenever I do what others want I suffer more than before.
I usually value collaboration. But when others Stop valuing it--then it's time for something to be done.
These people are messed up. They have no emotional retention. They have no ability to remember the things they do--Like it doesn't exist to them.
The heat, my hormones shifting, the trauma of seeing her again, and other things seemed to trigger a huge meltdown? Fight or flight? PTSD attack?
No wonder the woman from my dream was so empty--her body and mind have been through war and emotional, psychological, and spiritual survival.
I can only pray that I'm not chemically like a porn addicted person--I don't want to lose the idea that sex to me is love. After everything I mean.
I don't have the time in life to heal. There's so much I have to do and everyone still sees me as a wallet drainer and leech.
I don't trust anyone to help me. I don't trust anyone to love me. I don't trust love because it's not enough to make these other things go away.
I understand why people are calling for a civil war on the rich. And their help? To not be seen as bad people? Their help is "we will make others more like us!"
Natural selection affects them too.
Which is funny. They think they've escaped it ofc. I do think that people are right. Celebrities and other rich people aren't useful anymore.
They don't have much use anymore.
Anyways.
I feel lonely. I feel trauma everywhere. Like I've always been hit by a bus.
It's ironic I think--the "I wouldn't do it without a trained professional" people are so dangerous.
I did better without them...always.
It's hard not to hate life.
I always have to compete for needs and wants and sacrafice them.
For siblings, friends, lovers, parents, students, strangers, buyers, consumers, voices...
I sacrafice for these people to have better all the time. I don't have the energy to do anything else. I don't have anything else to provide but what I can scrounge up and then hand off or step aside.
I just want someone.
Someone who knows and loves me and understands me in full.
I can't let these people take away my voice or my story or my dreams for myself when they're already so blessed.
Only those well off say "you should be grateful"
What you did to survive and achieve versus what I did will never be the same.
So I'll hopefully find a way. To let my future husband be able to comfort me and know me in full after this whole experience. I'll find a way for him to know every page in my story and leaf through and bookmark his favorites.
Who in the universe would take away that from their victims so easily? That they could just have one?
These people can be vampires.
I get tired--I fall asleep--they suck the energy out of me.
They leave all their bad thoughts behind.
The world needs a miracle.
Activities: Food Sleep Screens
Emotions: Hurt Overwhelmed Confused Lonely Stressed Empty Hopeless
Unhelpful Thought: I'll never be well. No one will ever understand me. No one does. I'm alone. I'm always alone and I'll always be alone. People will only ever take from me or use me. People want me to die. My parents want me to die. I end up believing them and wanting it too.
I'll never have a life. I'll never have my own life. I'll never be me. I'll never be free.
Cognitive Distortions: Fortune-telling Self-blaming
Challenge: I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry that you've been through so much trauma in such little time. I'm so sorry you have to fight to comfort yourself and your fight response has increased so astronomically.
It must be scary to have to use it. It must be scary to never know when the pain will stop or when they will cause your attacks to start.
I don't know much about PTSD but considering the flashbacks and how even in moments for you they violate every piece of you--it only makes sense that you have resorted to fighting. I'm sorry you're body has to respond so uncomfortably and abnormally.
But try to remember that these are all normal responses to the abnormal. Your body is scared and terrified and it's been 330 days of exhaustion. The fatigue makes sense. The survival instincts makes sense. Your body and brain are working so hard for you so you can keep loving one day when the trauma responses ebb away.
There's no cure that I know of for these ailments. PTSD, depression, SAD, anxieties, potential autism. All these comorbidities must be eating away at you. The fact that they keep triggering you doesn't help either.
I'm sorry they push you. I'm sorry you've been through rape. I'm sorry you can barely pick up the pieces before they hurt you again.
I'm sorry I have to be the one to apologize to you for everything that's happened and still happens. I'm sorry they abuse you as you try to write and don't listen to no or clear boundaries.
The only advice I can think to give so you may have peace in these moments is to stop saving them. Let the bad continue to do bad. Let the Rapists continue to be Rapists. Do not work to absolve them of anything or bring good from their lives.
They're learning how to hurt you in different ways instead. They're recruiting new people late to everything instead.
Teeny tiny Tina, I'm still working so hard for you to be loved. I'm working so hard for you to stay safe. For you and I to stop fighting.
For you and I to stop freezing and being abused and for them to push you your fight responses and fear of your own body.
I'm sorry they tell you it's demons. When it's her. I'm sorry she won't leave you alone. I'm sorry she and others won't have boundaries with you.
I'm sorry they use you to teach her what her Delusions look like in another person because she forgets to be a human in others bodies and can't let her ego go.
I'm sorry they drug you so she can be comforted.
I'm sorry they don't know what you are going through. When I write as if I'm not you I can't imagine this pain.
I hope one day you are safe and rescued. I hope one day you find someone who will save you from her and them and the ones who abuse you.
I know my hopes are meaningless and that under normal circumstances when you are only you--I can always write meaningful advice without resorting to vapid generics.
I hope that one day you can be enough for yourself again.
I hope they don't bleed you dry. Don't kill yourself no matter what they say and do and feed on altruistic notions.
It's a complete mind fuck. The support needs to come from you. When they do it--don't believe them.
May you find peace Tina.
Alternative Thought: You will be saved. You will find help. Normal people know that it's wrong. These stars are illusions.
Normal people can help better. Find a community that can give you a break and accept you. That won't let your mind fall apart.
Don't let their ironic wishes for you give you peace. Don't let it give THEM peace. They don't mean it they just want it to be them.
Do not be like them. Do not live a lie. Address your hatred front on. Address why you hate front on so you may be free from it.
Do not be like them. Keep the bible in mind but please be who you want to be--which is exactly how God created and therefore called you to be.
Your calling is to heal and fight hatred for now.
Your calling is to find safety. May the lord bear you on eagles wings.
You do not have religious psychosis. You need to keep remembering who the fuck you are.
You are too smart for your own good. You are too self sacrificing for your own good. You see the bad in the good for people to address and attack and heal. You are kind when not under duress. You have illness. You need diagnosis. You have had terrible things happen. Surreal and awful. You always find a way to make things right. You always grow and evolve and change. You are you and others will not visibly see it.
Keep your self grounding mindfulness. Mindfulness is not oppression. It's a tool for a single person. Yourself. Not others.
Keep steady. Take a walk. Do something new. Discover something. Don't just stay in your mind doing it all there.
You need stimulation. You may be close to the end of figuring what you need to figure out out.
Then look at these thoughts and see how little and small they are in comparison to who you are and how you faced them. You are always seeking to heal and retain your values. That dualism and unobstructed steadfastness is your namesake.
It's in your birthday, your name, your experiences, your ring, your prayers, your loves, your hates, your stories, and every part of you.
You can never not be you. Except when your free will is in the hands of another.
Keep fighting for peace. Write and draw and explore within your means. Your life may seem so small but the meaning you have, the blessings God gave you to remember, the irreplaceable meaning everywhere is a gift from him.
And with this you never stop creating. Up and down. Up and down. If David in all his emotional complexities is a "man after God's own heart" then allow yourself to fall and thank God for his discipline.
He corrects those he accepts. He shows the wisdom of it to those he loves.
Keep his ever present and obvious love for you in your heart.
And even though you think Jonah is so funny, please allow yourself to give "testimony" one day and ask people to repent and show them God's love. Be unashamed. Be devoted. Be passionate. Don't let others kill your fire.
You know what it's like. You know what thoughts come from these terrible scenarios. You know how badly you want saving.
Others do too.
Show people that God's love IS unconditional. And learn and translate and write.
Translate God's Holy Spirit and intentions and goals to others.
He will bless you. He is pursuing your heart.
Remember how small the flaws are in others in comparison to them. How little it means for them to dislike what you do or help the opposing neighbor.
You are admired. And sometimes admiration turns bad and becomes jealousy.
You are very lonely. And you have learned ways to find yourself in all the versions of loneliness there are.
You are used. You are abused.
And that story lives and cannot be erased no matter how hard they try. Eternity is the sock that fell from their push. It feels so inescapable.
Your healing and self growth is awkward.
But you can still live. And you love others enough to be awkward with them.
Let yourself remember that this means that you love yourself to be awkward with yourself and allow it.
In that way you have already broken one cycle. That people need to see you in good perfect ways in order to have even self love.
You are strong. You are so passionate. And still while moored and mired in guck and hatred you still do everything out of love.
For yourself and others.
Your own body even is reflecting that incredibly. Your brain doesn't WANT to give up. It wants to fight, to survive, to fawn, to freeze.
Your brain and body is fighting for your love. Your self love and your future love and your love for others.
It's natural to feel this exhaustion after it all.
Tell yourself a new fortune too. A new self attribution. Balance it out.
You're going to always have love. It's in all your cells and the things you touch.
When you drop what you like and feel pain--however small--that tiny regret is love.
Your love is worth it. Your drive to be well is always worth it.
We are adapting. Love yourself enough to be awkward with it. It will feel really big and like the world is ending because it's the first time you've felt these ways.
God bless you.

I’m currently in school to obtain my DrPH and I will be entering the pre-dissertation phase of my education soon and I am sort of at a block on what to do my dissertation on. So, I wanted to ask what are some things you wish there was more research on that you can’t really find?

First off, congrats to everyone for the past application cycle! No matter what your outcome was, it's a big accomplishment to have gone through the whole process. I'm a non-trad who was accepted to Queen's this year, on my 2nd application cycle. I will be 27 when I start this Fall. It feels surreal and I always told myself I'd write a post about my journey if this day ever came - and here we are.
I didn't decide to apply to med school until after I finished undergrad, and while doing my research, I always wished I could read/hear perspectives from others with my background. Even though everybody's path will be different, I hope that my story can provide some insight (or even hope) for other non-trad applicants out there.
Before we start, here are my stats because that's important:

• cGPA, OMSAS: 3.53
• wGPA, UBC: ~85%
• MCAT: 515 (127/129/130/129)
• Casper: 4th
• IP: BC and ON

I'll go in chronological order, briefly describing some of the major events that led me to today, starting from high school. Please ask me any questions in the comments - (almost) nothing is off limits :)
TLDR: I was a software engineer who quit after a year to go to grad school and pursue medicine. It took me 4 years from when I decided to pursue this to getting accepted at a Canadian school. I did a Masters in stats and applied 2 times. My biggest takeaway is to do a lot of what you are passionate about, do it well, and take it far (for me, that was teaching and research).
Some demographics:

• My parents and I immigrated to Canada from Asia when I was 3
• I grew up in the GTA and did undergrad in Ontario
• I'm the first person in my family to pursue med school. My immediate family and I are the only people in our whole family who live outside of Asia, and nobody in my parents' network of family friends is in healthcare either.

High school, 2011-2015: I was always interested in medicine as a kid, but math was always my favourite subject. I applied to several science and math programs, and was choosing between Western Med Sci and Waterloo Math. I did not apply to Mac Health Sci and looking back, I'm not sure why (perhaps a sign that I didn't believe in myself). I ended up choosing Waterloo Math and giving up on the medical school route in grade 12, for a few reasons: the math program had 6 co-op terms, meaning I'd graduate with 2 full-time years of job experience, and I wasn't particularly good at biology and didn't have strong reasons for pursuing medicine back then. Med school also seemed like an impossible goal, especially since I didn't have any mentors in the field.
Undergrad, 2015-2020: This was honestly a fun time for me. I double-majored in stats and CS and I did 6 co-ops, 5 of which were in software engineering roles. I had originally planned to do actuarial science, but quickly saw the earning potential in the tech industry and made it my goal to get a job at a big tech company. A lot of personal stuff happened during this time as well that affirmed my decision pursue a software engineering career. One part of it was that I didn't want my parents to worry about me, and being able to show them that I was able to do well for myself in tech felt really good.
Halfway through my co-ops, I realized that I wasn't feeling the most fulfilled in software roles, but management roles also didn't appeal to me. I didn't really take the time to fully explore this feeling, and it was easy to put it away in light of the high income and getting to live in big cities for internships. Still, I did well in my co-ops and built up my software skills. After realizing that "grades don't matter for getting tech jobs", I let my grades slip. It wasn't until 4th year that I decided I wanted to keep the door open for grad school, and starting taking classes I liked and getting better grades. I graduated with an 82% average, with my grades all over the place (which I'd later learn was bad for calculating my OMSAS gpa lol).
Throughout undergrad, I still wanted to be involved in clubs and stuff, so here's a list of all my undergrad ECs. All these were only 4-8 months long.

• 1st year: I was a member and president of my first year residence council
• 2nd year: I was in a leadership position at the statistics club
• 3rd year: I was an event coordinator for co-op students in a city away from home
• also 3rd year: I was part of a club that builds software for non-profits

Another activity from undergrad that made it onto my application was a research project I did at one of my co-ops. It was in NLP and I worked on it even after finishing that coop term. It ended up taking 4 years to get published.
Full-time software engineering, 2020-2021: I signed a return offer from one of my co-ops, and had planned to move to Seattle in the summer after graduating to start working. But Covid changed all that. I moved back home with my parents in the GTA and worked at my software job remotely for the full year.
It was during this year that I was really feeling unfulfilled in my job, and did a lot of thinking about how I wanted my career to look. I started to remember that med school was something that I once wanted to do, and I also started reading/watching a lot of content from people in medicine with non-traditional backgrounds. My partner, who is also from Ontario, was accepted to an international med school, and many of our friends were also getting into schools in Canada around the same time, so this reaffirmed to me that it was actually possible. While working for the year, I made a plan to apply to grad school (academia would be my back-up) and take the MCAT. Here's what my 2020-2021 looked like:

• July: started full-time work
• December-January: wrote personal statements and applied to 5 Masters programs in biostatistics
• February-April: acceptances to Masters programs came in, and I was studying for the MCAT
• June: took the MCAT, scored 508, and told my manager that I'd be leaving by August to start grad school

During this year, I also wrote out a 3-year plan that included my masters and 2 application cycles. I wrote out what courses I would take to fulfill prereqs, which schools I would apply to each year, and what my back-up plan would be. I think this was important to do rigorously since it gave me a clear idea of which schools I was eligible for, and how much work it would take me to become eligible for the rest of them.
I will also add that this is a rather objective recount of my process that year. In reality, I completely recognized how insane it was to quit my job to go to grad school, and I'm super lucky that I was able to.
Grad school, 2021-2023: I moved to BC to start my Masters in statistics in August. This choice was partly to gain IP status in BC, but mostly, this was really the best program for me out of the schools I applied to. Even looking back now, I would have chosen this program even without the IP consideration.
Here's a breakdown of everything I did during the first year of my Masters:

• Started a new volunteering role (tutoring) right away. Still doing this today, almost 3 years later.
• Took a first year English class to fulfill the UBC requirement. Side note: it felt very odd being a 25-year-old in a class of 18-year-olds, but I did well in both classes probably because of being older. At first, I dreaded taking these classes since English was never my strong suit. But being older meant that I allowed myself to be truly curious about the topics being taught, and I treated it more as an experience to learn more about the world than to just check off some boxes.
• Took the MCAT again, at the end of my first year of MSc. I had already confirmed a supervisor by then, and thankfully she is/was incredibly supportive of my goals. I took it in June 2022 and got 515.
• TA'd stats courses throughout the year
• Started working on my thesis research with my supervisor

First application, 2022: I applied only to UBC for my first application cycle. In retrospect, I should have just applied broadly right away, but I didn't feel like I had enough references built up by then. And UBC doesn't require references unless you get an interview. I honestly had very high hopes of getting an interview this year, and was crushed to receive a rejection in December with an NAQ of 50-75. I thought that my application was unique, but upon reflection, I realized that the lack of volunteering and community service was a big gap in my application.
So here's a breakdown of everything I did in my second year of my Masters and beyond:

• TA'd stats courses throughout the year, and was the head TA for one of them (I think this showed leadership and commitment to teaching)
• Started another volunteering role at the food bank
• Took another first-year English course
• Continued my research with my supervisor
• Got offered (and started) a lecturer role for an undergrad course at the university, which was such an amazing opportunity. My supervisor helped me a lot with getting this position, since I TA'd for her one semester and she recommended me to the department. This was a class of 150, and I was also in charge of a few TAs. I ended up teaching this class 2 more times after this!
• Finished my Masters in August 2023
• Started working full-time as a biostatistician in September 2023
• A first-author paper I started working on during undergrad was accepted in Fall 2023. I had been working on this on-and-off for the past 4 years so it was incredible for the work to finally pay off!

Second application, 2023: This time, I applied to UBC and every school in Ontario that I was eligible for: Queen's and Mac. I was rejected by UBC pre-interview again. Same NAQ, and my total score didn't change. I was totally crushed and thought it was over for this year. I was very honest with myself about the Ontario applications - Mac was a total throwaway application and Queen's felt like a complete gamble. I was rejected from Mac pre-interview but one fateful day in January, I received an email from Queen's. It had a very generic "Application Status" subject line and I opened it fully expecting a rejection. I was totally shocked when it said I was invited for the MMI! And a few months later, I was also invited to the Panel.
Some of my thoughts and preparation for the interviews:
MMI - Aside from the usual resources that are posted here, I also took advantage of the following:

• Support system: I had a lot of support from my partner, who had gone through MMIs from non-Canadian schools, and many of my friends who were already in med school.
• Resources: I paid for a prep session on AcceptedTogether and had a positive experience there. I also used the BrightStudent question bank and although the questions were good, the explanations and overall experience were mid. But their YouTube video was extremely useful.
• Mindset: Throughout my whole MMI prep, I was honestly very interested in exploring each prompt, and I think this mindset was extremely beneficial for making my answers both unique and genuine. During my Masters, I also took a class that covered topics in social determinants of health, and I semi-regularly enjoy reading about current events in this area, so both of those pieces of background were super helpful for me.

Panel - I was so happy to receive a panel interview, and knew that I could not mess this up. I prepped with a few different friends of mine who were in med school, and another friend who was going through Ontario interviews too. Going in, I felt very prepared, and in the days leading up to it, I even felt like my answers were on autopilot and a bit over-prepared. So I really tried to relax and "be myself"/answer genuinely during the panel. The real panel felt quite cold - I didn't get any feedback from my interviewers, and was a bit thrown off by some of the questions. I was also cut off by the Kira Talent timer at the end, and didn't get to say goodbye or thank you. For the rest of the day, I ruminated on all my answers. The content of my answers felt somewhere between "why would I say that" and "just fine" and "great", but I was definitely feeling a bit bad about the whole experience.
Decision Week, 2024: That brings us to this week! In the week leading up to the decision, I flip flopped between "My panel hated me, there's no way I passed the vibe check" and "My answers were good, my MMI felt good, why wouldn't they accept me". I opened the email at 6am (Pacific time) with zero expectations - I truly had no idea what was waiting for me on the other side. The first word was "Congratulations!" and I didn't read much farther than that before I started celebrating :)
So that's it. I told a lot of people I work with, my Masters supervisor, my parents, and my friends, and it felt amazing to deliver this good news. My closing thoughts about my whole journey are that even though I do think my application was great, I still got incredibly lucky. At any point in the process, I could have gotten an undesirable outcome, and there was nothing I could do to control that (other than my efforts prior). I also relied a lot on my support system, and was so lucky to have had + made friends who are in med school or were practising already.
I just feel so grateful to be starting this Fall, and I'm happy to say that my high school self would be in absolute disbelief if she could see where I am today. That statement is a sign to me that I'm on the right path, and I'm just so excited to be starting this long, hard career that is medicine.
If you've made it to the end, thank you for reading!! If you can relate to any part of my journey and have questions, please send me a comment or DM - my inbox is always open.

First full year to enter middle school in mid 20s
10s/20s hybrids
First to graduate in 2030s
First to enter school after trump and brexit
First to not be a pre-teen during peak covid (9-12 tween range)
First full year to be born after arab spring, occupy wall street and the release of snapchat
first year to turn a teenager in the 2nd quarter of the 21st Century
First to be born when smartphones became ubiquitous over 50%

I did Pre Algebra at a charter school in 8th grade. I did Business Math in homeschool for 9th grade because i was so bad at math, then I did Pre Algebra again (Teaching Textbooks) in 10th grade. Since I completed my credit I started doing a bit more math in Algebra this year with the Teaching Textbooks app again. If I go to a public school next year (11th grade) will they hold me back into 10th again because my grade? Or will I just redo Pre-Algebra?

Edit: Hi people, I misread the flair! He is actually 2.6 years old male! Thanks!
Hi! I know this could seem super normal to some but for me is new. Me (33f) have a (2.6m) toddler.
He used to be super sweet, but has lots and lots and lots of energy. Usually I do activities with him that range from visiting both grandparents to two days a week pre-sports and art. On Saturdays we go to the park
I though this is well balanced and a healthy way to take his high energy.
But this month this have changed. He is yelling at everyone, hitting in school and specifically in his art classes (witch he adores).
And today I had a call from school about his bad behavior.
Of course I tried talking to him and ask my mom to talk as well without me. So far that’s everything I have done.
What else can I do? Is this an indicative of something else? Will he grow out of it?
I know every child is different, but for sure I’m no delighted with mine being aggressive.
Do you have some advice? Thanks :)

I’m literally so lost rn, what do I even do from here. Is it hopeless to chase a pre-med route now??? I heard some med and grad schools will still take into account the first attempt when looking at your gpa even jf you decide to retake the class and receive a better score.

I am a highschool student interested in perusing pharmacy but have no clue how to do it out of highschool. I talked to a counselor but they weren’t any help at all. My friend who is perusing dentistry said you need to complete an undergraduate of sciences but he’s not entirely sure either. I know that there is no direct entry out of high school and there are a pre requisite of courses needed to be completed. My question is, can I apply for open studies or arts or do I need to complete an undergrad of sciences. My follow up question is, if I need to enroll in the bachelor sciences undergrad, can I apply with social 30-2? If I can’t I will apply with science 30. Any advice or answers is greatly appreciated

Hi,
TLDR: looking for advice for 'deep recovery' from autistic burnout, venting/rambling a bit about my situation
Sorry for the long post, my life hasn't been great the last few years and I'm hoping that if I describe it in detail then someone might have some advice for where to go next, or be able to tell me if I'm missing something obvious. I've bolded the bits where I'm asking for advice.
I (24F) am not officially diagnosed with aspergers or anything autism related, but am recovering from what I suspect is autistic burnout. I had symptoms of moderate to severe CFS last summeautumn but am slowly recovering from it without any major crashes. When I read the description of autistic burnout I identified with it completely. The loss of skills and extremely reduced tolerance to stimulus on top of the fatigue is something I have really struggled to describe or explain to people (not helped by the loss of skills i.e. barely being able to put a sentence together to speak to someone). I've read Strong Female Character and Aspergirls, and am currently reading Unmasking Autism. I haven't completely self-diagnosed yet, but I am researching it and think it's a strong possibility. The first half of Aspergirls describes my childhood pretty well. I was often called a 'Highly Sensitive Person' and Unmasking Autism states that the creator of this term has said that the people she was talking about have since been diagnosed with ASD. Even if I am not Autistic, I often find Autistic people more relatable and easier to understand that non-Autistic people and find their advice for rest, sensory issues etc helpful to me. I am not looking for a diagnosis or diagnostic advice.
I currently feel like I'm starting my life over again, and I'd really appreciate advice on how to build a sustainable life when I have a lower tolerance for stimulus and find communicating more tiring than many people.
Context/life story: I'm from the UK. I have a degree in maths, was feeling burnt out and was going to take a gap year before doing a masters, but the pandemic happened and I moved back into my childhood bedroom. I couldn't face being stuck there again with no 'escape plan' so one afternoon I (impusively) signed up for a masters at a not so great uni and didn't do well academically. At the time I was considering a PhD and going into pure maths research. I don't have the grades to get funding for this. By the end of the masters my boyfriend had broken up with me and I'd lost touch with all my friends. The only person I 'spoke' to was my mother and even she'd say this was pretty one sided. In my dissertation presentation on zoom, I read a pre-written script and answered 'I don't know' to all the questions because I hadn't spoken to anyone in months and couldn't hold a conversation with the cashier in the supermarket about the weather let alone one with an academic about advanced maths. I scraped a pass.
After this was over (October 2021), I really felt like I needed a break. I decided I was going to have 2022 'off'. I was going to rest, get a job that didn't use my brain, move to a city so I wasn't so isolated (I live in Wales) and recover and rebuild before figuring out what I wanted to do next. I couldn't figure out how to move to a city without getting a professional job. I asked some family for advice but they didn't know either. I didn't know how to get any job near the town where I live. It's very cliquey, I don't know anyone who's got a job through a formal application process, it's always through a family or friend connection, and I'd lost touch with everyone by this point, my mother doesn't have any contacts and the rest of my family lives in another country. I get filtered out of formal applications because I'm overqualified and bad at lying. Spring 2022 I got sick of it and applied for about 5 software dev jobs. I got one basically without being interviewed. In hindsight that was the first red flag.
I moved to a city 5 hours away. I won't go into the details of the job but it wasn't great. I discovered they had a vrey high turnover for a small company. The new hires previous to me had lasted weeks, one only lasted days, before going on stress leave. I did 10 months. I signed a rental agreement for a year and was too exhausted to search for another job to pay for it. It was full time in the office because I was a junior. I had one friend who lived 3 hours away and every time we met up it was me driving to them, and my sibling needed a lot of help with uni and job stuff so I drove the 5 hours back home most other weekends. I did too much, but I didn't know how to not do too much. Within a few months of each other, my dog died, my grandad died and it was the 10 year anniversary of my dads death. I never had a bad performance review and I quit due to 'personal reasons'. The final straw for me was when I noticed in the office I was physically shaking from exhaustion when I reached for my mouse or keyboard. I think I must have been running on adrenaline or something because it was 2 months before I properly crashed. In this time I moved my stuff back to my childhood bedroom, and that is where I am now. July last year was when I crashed and thought I had CFS etc.
I would say I'm mostly recovered from the physical fatigue. I walk 10k+ steps a day and this helps me mentally. I know I should do more restorative yoga, I see this more like stretchy meditation than exercise and it also helps mentally. I used to enjoy powerlifting and I've tried a few times recently but I think I need to take that super slowly because I get carried away and it wipes me out for a few days after. Skills-wise, I am able to read books again, albeit books I've read before or childrens books. I sometimes have 'high energy' days when I'll read more non-fiction and try to plan my recovery. I am not up for doing technical computer stuff. Things I used to know still go completely over my head. Sensory-wise, I struggle having the big light on for more than 10-15 minutes at a time. I try to reduce screen time. I barely watch tv. I've deleted most social media so I only check instagram once or twice a week on my laptop, and I go on reddit or youtube if I'm looking for something in particular. I try not to listen to too much music otherwise the brain fog gets worse, but that's hard becuase it's one of the few things I feel connects me with the outside world at the moment. When family come round and there are group conversations, I cannot follow anything that's going on and it may as well be white noise. I haven't been in a public space for a while, so I don't know how I am with the background noise. I've reconnected with school friends and am going out for dinner soon, so I'll find out then. I will also find out how I hold up in conversation.
In the next few weeks I plan on looking for part time work. Any advice on suitable jobs would be welcome. I also start a compassion focused therapy group next week, after going to the doctors about this in october of last year *sigh*. I plan on working part time and living at home while figuring out what I want from a career and how to build a life. I wish I could just move to London but it's so expensive.
I see pure maths as closer to the arts than the sciences, and also enjoy fiction books (esp fantasy) and music. I played classical piano and violin/viola as a child to a reasonably high standard. I have no interest in computers really, it was just a job thats related to my degree and that I was good at. As a child I wanted to be a writer or a musician, but as a teen I prioritised moving out of my hometown and told myself that was something I didn't need to study and could work on in my free time. I had a 'maths brain' so it was easy enough to coast this path while I was grieving. I have learnt that the first things I let slide when I am stressed or busy, are the things I am interested in. Then it's chores, then my physical health. I have no idea when to stop or when to say no people. Not because I want them to like me, simply because saying no doesn't occur to me until after I've done it. I also don't notice when I am stressed or doing too much. I have gotten better at that the last few months.
In future, I think I need to prioritise my interests more than I have. I think I tried to 'fix' the stress from the things I 'had' to do with exercise and being very physically healthy. I think the solution is to prioritise working on my interests and passions. The thing I've found most helpful is keeping a diary. I started this last July. I'm now writing music and learning how to produce using Ableton. It's going very slowly but it's going. I've found creating things is better for me mentally than consuming them, even if I'm doing that using a screen. I am interested in the links between maths and music (group theory, geometry, topology etc), and plan to read more about this when I'm able. It would be a dream come true if I could somehow work self-employed doing this one day. I can't imagine working full time in an office again. It exhausts me too much to be able to do anything in my free time. I don't know how demanding it would be to work remotely full-time. I'm lucky I can live with family and work part-time for the forseeable future. There is no rush. I am 24.
Any advice on building a career your interested in, moving to a new city, managing stress and having healthy relationships would be very welcome. Or anything else you think it would be useful to hear.

https://postimg.cc/mztrxk6K
ingredients - water, starter made with some multi-grain flour(can't remember brand) and strong organic white tesco bread flour.
This is the second ever loaf I've ever made...(first was in school approximately 30years ago, and was shaped like a hedgehog)
I dont know what I did wrong... but everything was fudged...
Pretty sure it looks this... ewww, because I over fermented it...
The 'dough' was really sticky(even stuck to baking paper)
Never managed to develop the classic domed shape of pre-baked sourdough dough.
Oh and the taste... its was mingin!
Followed a recipe from a website exactly how it said, yet I ended up with this monstrosity lol
Edit - kitchen temp was floating around 22 and 26 for bulk ferment and about 22 - 24 for proofing, before cooking.

I don’t know even know where to start from but here it is: I graduated December of 2023 and I took the nclex back in March 1 whilst working as pre licensed dialysis nurse and failed at 95 questions, was so devastated and had to quit my job bc I wanted to put the nclex behind me and decided it was best to just focus on it and the dialysis hours were wild 🤪 I would come home tired and not have energy to study after work
I started studying as soon as I found out that I failed, I bought uworld for 3 months w free bootcamp- you guys have no idea how much bootcamp helps esp with case studies and they have vague questions that are very similar to the nclex which was very helpful. It took a month to finish the uworld study plan/ self assessment and did bootcamp at the same time. I hit the library 9-3pm depending on when I had to pick up my lil sis from school. It was rigorous but worth it in the end.
When I was done w uworld and bootcamp- I jumped to YouTube to understand how to answer the nclex style questions. I got Kaplan for free for 6 months and didn’t want to spend studying for that long but why not take it for free. I scheduled my test right after I was done w Kaplan Cat and readiness exams and felt somewhat ready to tackle this test again but obviously I tend to have severe anxiety when it comes taking exams and asked God to help me with this crazy test anxiety. I prayed and fasted Monday the day before the test and let me tell you prayers from family and yourself are very powerful ofc w hardwork but pray pray and fast if you can or if it’s part of your religion but it will do the wonders. Went to the testing center Tuesday 05/14 at 11:50 starting the test at 12:30 and I was shaking 🫨 w anxiety and fear of failing but all in all I prayed and took my time with every question and took two breaks in between questions and the test shut off at 88 and I got emotional 😭 after I went back to my car and drove home whilst saying Allah I have tried my best and I leave the rest to you and I had to wait 2 whole days to find out the result btw I am from MN so it was the longest wait and nerves getting the best of me 😭 but Alhamdulilah it needed well
I just want to tell everyone esp test repeats that it’s not the end of the world when you fail your first time, it’s ok and you will pass your second or third but keep trying You will see people with minimum questions and just know that your time will come♥️
Let me know down below the comments if you have questions
Resources— Uworld Bootcamp Professor D- Nexus nurse Nclex crusaders- 7 days Klimek Nclex Review High yield Nursing Kaplan

I'm sure many of you have come across "trad-wife" content at some point or another online. I've been fed this content more and more lately, which had me thinking about what this "trend" means for mothers and families, and what impact it has overall for the mothers who are still "in the trenches" today. Whether it's a trend you participate in, or one you roll your eyes at, I think for the most part, it garners an emotional response from women, especially mothers, in either a positive or negative light. I also want to make it clear that "trad-wives" and SAHM are NOT the same thing at all, and should not ever be used interchangeably. These are two completely different things. A SAHM is still a working independent woman whos job inside of the home to be viewed equally as important as any work outside of the home.
I fall under the category of someone who is triggered by "trad-wife" content and generally have a pretty negative, critical response every time I run into it. But today, as I came across a video of yet another "trad-wife" influencer, who was defending her lifestyle, and call to "traditional" ways, I decided to stop and actually take a minute and be honest with what emotion I was really feeling when I come across this content. It isn't actually rage, disappointment or fear, like I tell myself it is. It's jealousy.
EDIT/CLARIFICATION I was at first jealous of their ability to stay at home with their children and homestead. I was lulled into the ASMR aspect of this “homesteading” lifestyle, and as someone who loves to garden and bake, and has no joy in their career, I was initially jealous of their ability to do all this in such a glamorous, aesthetically pleasing way—however, the jealousy ended really fast the minute I heard them describing themselves as being “subservient” to their husbands and calling to “traditional feminine roles” and realised this was brainwashing…then I became worried. It was so easy for me to get distracted by watching the pretty fields with chickens from my cubicle office, that I missed that these women believed themselves lesser than their husbands. 😬
The truth is, my first reaction is jealousy and a sense of inadequacy that feeds off of my deepest insecurities as a mother. Jealousy for the mothers that can stay at home all day with their children, who can clean, bake, garden and cook with their little ones at their side. And as someone who is a working mum, but not by choice, I feel jealous of the extra time these women can spend with their children during these short pre-school years. I feel inadequate because I secretly fear I am failing as a mother by choosing a double income, over the financial insecurity of a one-income household. Inadequate because my house is a mess and I'm burned out from work from a job I hate by the time I get home, that I worry my children aren't getting the best version of me.
After the initial emotional response of jealousy, my logical brain kicks in and reminds myself that this lifestyle they are showcasing isn't reality. Most SAHM's aren't baking sourdough on homesteads all day. They aren't showing the 3AM wakeups or the teething drama. This isn't an accurate representation of motherhood for 95% of us. This leads me to my next emotional response, which is to then to substitute jealousy for criticism. I begin to list all the ways their lifestyle is flawed, naive and unsustainable to give myself some false sense of superiority to these women who are essentially just cosplaying.
I'm sure this reaction isn't uncommon. I feel it's a natural response for people to substitute the emotion of jealousy with criticism to justify their own lifestyles and choices that feel attacked. You could argue that the "trad-wife" movement is just that--a way for some SAHM's who may feel the need to justify their lifestyle and choices of not be in the work force, when surrounded by a world that places outside work in higher esteem than domestic work.
However, I would like to clarify that just because I initially felt jealous when watching this content, doesn't mean I wish I was a "trad-wife". I find the entire concept to be just as toxic as the "hustle"/"girl boss" culture they are fighting against. Not to mention, a completely misinformed and myopic view of what a "traditional" wife or family looked/looks like throughout the world. The "traditional" wife they are cosplaying as is just ONE example of a historic "traditional" family and a woman/mothers role within one. Yes, women have always been charged with domestic duties and childrearing. The home has always been where women have traditionally been taught to focus on, however, women have also ALWAYS worked outside of the home too—either on farms, factories or kitchens (etc). And women have ALWAYS outsourced childrearing to either a nanny or governess (if wealthy) or they had their eldest kids stay home and look after the younger ones. Working mothers, and hired childcare are not new concepts to the female history.
But, I do see how this trend came about. It’s an allergic reaction to the extreme push for women to get out of the homes and into the workforce. To climb the corporate ladder while breastfeeding. To pity the girl with the college degree and spit up stains on her shirt at home with unused potential. To take “equal rights” so literally we act like a man’s life or parental journey is identical to our own. Ignoring our monthly hormonal fluctuations and pretend we're fine to sit through that 2 hour meeting while popping Midol. That we add more value to society as another cog in a machine sitting in a cubicle, then managing your home and family, because that's just "sitting at home" all day, right? And maternity leave is really such an inconvenience…
Looking at both extremes, I found it funny how both sides share the same core issues/beliefs which do nothing but hold mothers, and families on both ends of the spectrum back. This is what I found were the major issues in the perception of motherhood at both extremes, when I took a step back and away from my own biases as a working mother.

1. We need to recognise that both lifestyles come with the enormous privilege many women don't have-- The ability to live off of one income is a privilege just like having enough money for childcare or family support is a privilege. For many, our family set up wasn’t a choice, it’s a necessity. The reasons to be or not to be a SAHM are not always a choice or preference. A lot of times these are hard decisions that include major sacrifices. Before you judge either lifestyle, acknowledge the privilege you might have in the CHOICE to follow either life path. A woman who HAS to work to keep her family fed, even if all she could afford were Poptarts for breakfast, is just as good of a mum as the one who made fresh sourdough that morning. The mum who has to go back to school shopping at the second hand store, and mend hand me downs to dress her kids on one income is just as good of a mum as the corporate baddie who bought her kids the trendy shoes their kid asked for. Both kids are fed, both kids are dressed, both kids are loved.
2. No matter what they say, we all love our kids, and how they turnout does NOT come down to your choice to work in or outside the home -- At the end of the day, I don’t think kids of working mums turn out much differently than kids of SAHM. I think we all know personal examples of rotten kids or adults with both types of mothers. Neither dictates your relationship with your child. As kids get older, they naturally drift away from us. The truth is we may mess up in ways we didn’t even consider. Our kids may always blame us for being overbearing by not having a life outside of the home. Or resent us for never being around because of work. Bad/toxic mothers can be found both in the home or the work force. Just think back to how the adults in our lives talk about their mothers--sometimes it was "mum had 6 kids at home, but she somehow managed to keep us all fed and cared for", or "mum had to work a full day cleaning houses, but she'd always make sure we read a book together after work". All mothers make sacrifices, no matter what type of sacrifice it is. Our kids aren't going to love or resent us for our choices to work or stay at home, but how we show up for them. Don't underestimate our children's ability to recognise our sacrifices on either end.
3. Full time domestic work and homemaking is a real full time job that hold just as much value as working outside of the home and should be treated and respected as such.-- Childcare is a full time job. Full time nanny's and daycares prove that. Homemaking is a full time job. We hire cleaners, interior designers and household staffs that prove it. Cooking, is a full time job. We hire chefs and nutritionists that prove it. So, when a woman is a SAHM does one (or more likely) all of the above jobs for her family, it’s given lesser value or consideration than someone who works outside the home? You hear “I like to get dinner ready and the house clean for my husband who worked all day he deserves to relax when he gets home”, as if you sat around watching tv all day? Just because you enjoy it, or it’s for your own benefit doesn’t make it any less of a real fulltime job. You deserve sick days and breaks throughout the day like any corporate job would...except you never actually get them. The person bringing in a paycheck doesn’t contribute a greater value to your family than you. And same goes for working mums—you already have one full time job, don’t discredit the work left at home as just “chores” that you additionally take on as “lesser value” expected tasks. If two people work outside of the home then two people need to be responsible for domestic work. These are full time jobs. Spouses cutting the grass and taking out the trash is not equivalent to cooking, childcare and cleaning. We need to stop ignoring the home in the overall picture of a healthy family life. We all need a safe place to live that is clean, we all need to eat nutritious food, and our children NEED someone to look after them. These things have a real invaluable place in society. As a working mum, I'm finding more and more how hard it is to bridge that gap, to manage two workplaces essentially, the home AND the outside work. All attention and focus goes to work outside of the home, but the home life doesn't just sustain itself. We are neglecting the importance of our domestic life in favour of the outside working life. This goes for both working mums and SAHM's. We need to stop ignoring that piece of the puzzle if we want to create the complete picture. As it stands now, most working mums cannot afford help in the home which is effecting our mental and physical health--SAHM's don't get any sort of financial nest eggs or assistance at basically working for free, which makes them more vulnerable to abuse.
4. Men need to be included in the domestic work in a way that sets them up for success. You are doing your family or spouse more harm than good by taking it all on yourself. -- By not giving dads a real opportunity to be involved in domestic duties you are depriving them and the children the full depth of a parent child bond and perpetuating that domestic life isn’t as valuable as outside work, or that domestic work is strictly a "woman's" domain. If you are a SAHM, and your job is to care for the house and kids, you just worked a full 8 hour day, just like your spouse. Because you stayed at home all day, most likely the basic chores have been done (though, kids are wild and even things like unloading a dishwasher can't be tackled), and maybe dinner is cooking. That alone is taking so much off of your spouses plate. Every family situation is different, every work situation is different, however, both you and your spouse are entitled to decompress a little after a full day. Dads need to be incorporated into the childcare aspect at the very least when they come home. Maybe since you spent all day with the kids, your husband gives them a bath and puts them to bed. Or, if you are a dual income house, maybe you split the bedtime duties, giving you the chance to spend SOME time with your children, after being gone all day--and just "play time" alone isn't enough or fair. I think a big way we fall down in including men into the domestic responsibilities, is for the same reason working mothers are struggling. The workforce was never set up with women or mothers in mind, and homemaking was never set up with men in mind. Now, some people will use this as an excuse to perpetuate that it shows that "a woman's place is at home", but studies have shown that over and over again, that fathers who are more involved at home make happier, more successful children. Children gain an enormous value from having fathers be just as involved in their upbringing as the mothers. And, I argue that men also gain just as much value from this. My husband is an equal partner in childrearing, and I'm in awe to see how much he has completely flourished and grown in this role. The truth is, most of us don't find fulfillment in our jobs. It's a paycheck. But a lot of us do find fulfillment in parenting. But to my point, we aren't setting men up to be successful in these roles, because men don't always think or approach things the same way as women. How many times have we had arguments with our partners because they ignored a mess, or didn't clean/do something properly, or we had to "nag" them to follow up on a chore...I know I have. But then I decided to take a step back and change my perspective on the home and family, and look at it as almost a military or corporate environment. Women don't thrive on deadlines and assigned tasks. We are better able to multitask, switch gears. To be too hyperfocused on one thing doesn't work so well when you have so many jobs to tackle at once. But men seem to work better with structure and direction. I feel like women see the big picture, and can zoom in from there, but men need to break things into smaller tasks before they can see the bigger picture. When a man retorts with "I'm not a mind reader", they are being just as dismissive to your needs and views as you would be by saying "you should just know". The truth is we are different. We were raised different, our brains function differently...but, I've found my partner excels in the household if he is given clear directions and expectations within the household. If instead of viewing it as two separate worlds, work and home, I approach it as equal sectors of one unit. Like how accounting is just as valuable to a corporation as their sales team. We are all operating for one goal, and one greater good. If your partner works outside the home, and you stay at home, then you need to view yourself as the manager of the home and delegate accordingly. How can you help your partner in their work day, and how can they help you in yours? You are on the same team. If you both work outside of the home, then you both need to take equal responsibility for the domestic work. You are both managers of the home, how can you support each other? What does one person do better than the other? Being passive aggressive because your spouse doesn't naturally see what needs to be done like you do, doesn't help anyone. Your spouse becomes defensive, and never learns, and feels out of place in home where you have inserted yourself as manager instead of an equal partner.
5. Other people’s choices don’t discredit yours no matter what they say. -- Everything seems to be a targeted attack these days. People can’t seem to live in a way that makes them happy without you feeling threatened by it. If a woman is happiest at home catering to their husbands whims, that has no effect on your choice to be a stay at home dad. One is not a threat to the other unless you begin to feel superior to another. That the way you choose to live your life is so superior you want to control the narrative and influence personal choices of others in your life by attacking someone else to lift yourself up. I can’t help but ask myself who is benefiting from staging us against each others? Definitely not the mothers. Lumping one group as “those people” keep us divided. Each side more extreme in their POV echoed by peers and targeted social media. We have been fed that it's an "us" versus "them" issue. That one side is pushing us back into the stone age, and undoing all the progress we have made in the feminist movement. The other side feels attacked for finding joy and value in living a life at home and as a mother, that society has stopped valuing their contribution...really, society as a whole hasn't changed much in the past 40 years. The workforce has more working mothers than ever before, but work culture and regulations have not changed to accommodate that. We have to change to accommodate them. SAHM's have always existed, but we have not elevated their status to show the equal contribution they have in our society. In the end, society is still just exploiting women. A capitalistic profit driven society benefits more from more people in the workforce. I think we are all angry at the same thing, a lack of choice and a lack of respect. Women fought hard to enter the workforce and gain independence and equal rights so that we could have the CHOICE of what our life would look like. But are choices are still being under attack. Being a SAHM or a working mum is no longer a choice for a lot of us. We are being goaded into believing one is more valuable than the other, and that's just not true. If you find peace and fulfillment at home, that doesn't make you any less educated or independent of a woman. And if you love your career and thrive in your work, that doesn't make you any less feminine (because apparently we can't be feminine and work anymore according to some...) or as good of a mother. We are humans and multifaceted and cannot and should not be defined by one singular role.

This ended up being some sort of weird feminist manifesto, which isn't want I intended, but I guess I had a lot to say on the subject. I suppose I'm just scared at how well social media has gotten at dividing us. Social media isn't inherently good or bad, it's a tool for connection, but now even mothers are being pitted against each other. We all know it takes a village to raise a family, but we've pitted the village against each other. We are too busy claiming we are "under attack" from our peers, when we're just puppets--they want us to feel "triggered", and I'm glad. Because now I'm triggered, but it's not at the "trad wife" who is harkening back to a world that never existed, but at the people who are instigating this. Who are filling women's heads with this nonsense, and trying to box up our "values" or what "femininity" means...what it means to be a woman and mother. Because being a woman and mother has meant a lot of different things throughout history. We control our own narratives. We need to stop insinuating that our way is the "right" way, or that society is faltering because women are no longer "feminine" or because women want to go back to staying at home. All of this is "right", all of this is "feminine". Being a woman can mean whatever you want it to mean, and being a mother just means loving your kids and doing your best everyday.
***NOTES: I know this was a very hetero/cis centric post that focused a lot of perceived gender norms that excludes the same-sex or trans families...even single mothers. It was written as a reaction to a "trad wife" trend that is extremely hetero/cis centric, so my reaction to it is from this perspective as a hetero/cis mother. However, I know these values and views totally effect all families no matter what they look like. So, I just wanted to put it out there that I see you, and would love to hear your voice on this as well.
Also, a lot of sweeping generalities in here as well. These are broad sweeping statements and generalisations based on societies general assumptions about genders and family life. Right, wrong or myopic, it's what we live in. My point in all this IS that every family and every person is unique, and that we can't keep functioning under the assumption that there is only one way or one family dynamic out there.

I am nervous as hell. I came out over a year ago and I'm very comfortable with my identity, but I have not been on a date since pre-lockdown 2020. The most recent "relationship" I had was a summer fling with a co-worker in 2022, but that was also before I came out.
I'm getting lunch with a really cute girl this weekend. When I asked her, I didn't specify it being a date, but I've been pretty flirty with her lately and I think she has seemed responsive to it. If she's not into me like that, then I'm cool with it just being a nice meal between two people getting to know each other better and I won't try to push anything. She already knows I'm trans because we went to the same school, but we never talked to each other then so it feels more like we just met this year. She is really funny and pretty and talks to me in a very casually affirming way, and I am super excited to be able to get to know her more, even if she doesn't return my feelings.
Problem is, I'm hopeless when it comes to romance. Should I just treat this meal like a normal platonic outing and not say anything? Should I be upfront with my feelings? Should I wait until the end before I say anything? Should I just follow up with a text later? I have no idea how to approach this. I will see her again the day after we get lunch, so I don't want to risk making things too awkward. I feel like I've put myself in a rough position and I have no idea how to approach this now.
I also don't want to come across as creepy at all, especially now that I present masculine. Are there things I shouldn't do because they might read wrong from a male? I am probably overthinking this all but hoo boy am I nervous. I really don't want to screw this up in a way that could permanently affect my friendship with her.

Non-traditional pre-law student search for a mentor. Big aspirations and end goals. However, I would like to start contributing in a meaningful way prior to law school. Anticipated start date of Fall ‘25. Currently studying for the LSAT, volunteering and would like to find a role in legal or gain a mentorship during the time I have opted to take a break from work, as of this month.
Thank you!

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Hi all! I’m just getting started studying for the MCAT (my test date is 8/17) and I’ve put together a brief plan of attack for how I plan to tackle this thing. I’d really appreciate any advice you all have to offer; I’m the first in my family to pursue a career in medicine, so sometimes it feels like I have nowhere to go for advice.
I took a half length BP diagnostic exam the other day and got a 504. Ideally, I’m shooting for a 515+ on Test Day; I plan to treat studying as my full time job over the next three months. I haven’t taken a psych or sociology course since AP psych in high school, so I definitely have room to grow in the P/S department. From what I’ve heard, improving in the P/S section isn’t too hard, so that’s giving me a little confidence boost. I also did pretty well in the CARS section and am relieved that it’s not my worst subject because I’ve heard that it can be difficult to improve.
I started content review a few days ago, after taking my diagnostic. I’ve been reading three chapters a day, taking the pre-chapter quizzes after completing each chapter to make sure I’m getting everything. My goal is to read each of the Kaplan books, cover to cover, in ~4 weeks. That way, I’ll have the remaining 2/3 of my study time to be doing practice problems and FLs, and if there are any glaring discrepancies in my understanding of content, I’ll have time to address them by going back through the books.
After finishing reading each day, I’ve been unsuspending the corresponding Anki cards from the newest Anking deck. I try to do Anki twice a day, once in the morning and once before bed. I have the Jack Sparrow deck downloaded but haven’t started studying it because the formatting of the cards doesn’t really seem like it would be very conducive to my learning style.
My mom purchased the TPR 515+ course for me on Cyber Monday, so I’m planning to do that for exposure to test-like problems and maybe learn test-taking strategy. I’m planning on primarily sticking with Kaplan when it comes to reading just since the Anking deck doesn’t correspond with TPR. Once I get done with content review, I’m planning on breaking into the UEarth question bank, taking BluePrint FLs, and then beginning to use AAMC FLs once I’m closer to my test date. I think I also might have access to the AAMC question bank.
Okay, well that was a lot. Overall, I think I’m just nervous that I’m not approaching studying the right way. I’d really like to knock the MCAT out in one go, but testing in August would give me time to take it again and still apply in the same cycle if I’m not happy with my score. At the end of the day, I think that part of me is just looking to be told that everything will be okay.
If you’ve read this far and have recommendations about things that worked well for you — or things that didn’t help at all — I’d really appreciate hearing them. Thanks so much :)

Hey! I’m a junior in college and I’ve just started studying for the LSAT. I have a 3.8 GPA, am president of a pre-law organization, vice president of the English honor society (Sigma Tau Delta), a writer for the school newspaper, a legal assistant at a law firm local to me whenever I’m on break, and a server while at school.
I have been so nervous to start applying next year because of an event from my freshman year. In January of 2023, I was roofied at a festival and began acting strange/aggressive, which called the attention of law enforcement. I have no memory of the event, but pushed away an officer after he put his hand on my shoulder (from what has been described to me) and was subsequently arrested for battery against a law enforcement officer, resisting arrest with violence, and public disturbance.
The charges have since been dismissed through pre-trial intervention and are being expunged now. I know some schools require me to disclose even expunged records, but should I report my record even if the school does not ask about expunged charges?
Also, should I explain that I was roofied (which was proven with a drug test) and have never shown signs of aggression prior or after this event? My goal has always been a T20, and I felt I could get into a good school with my stats, especially if I can get an LSAT that is 170+, but I am so scared my record will eliminate my chances.
Do I still have a shot at a prestigious school and how should I go about disclosure when schools don’t ask about expunged records? My top choices have been Berkeley, Florida, UCLA, UVA, and Georgetown if that helps. I graduate in Fall 2025 and will be applying for the Fall 2026 cycle.

First things first, I am german, living in Berlin and working here too. I work in a Kindergarten with children aging 1 to 6 in one group (this is quite normal here). We also have a few pre schoolers who will start first class in school this summer. A few days ago I went to a supermarket with them to buy ice cream for the whole group. I went with three Girls, two of them with very blond hair and pale skin and on with Black hair and a darker skin tone (this is kind of important sadly). As we were standing there looking at the different types of ice cream, I hear a guy behind me starting to mutter "deutsche Kinder" ("german kids") over and over and getting louder every time, also his tone of voice made it pretty clear where he was coming from. I turned around and it was an old guy. I took a step in his direction and asked him if he was talking to us and what his problem was. He didnt answer me but now the three Girls were looking at him to see who I was talking to. He said it a few more times. I dont think the kids realized what was going on and I didnt wanted to draw more of their attention to the situation by explaining it to them but I dont know if it was the right decision to even talk to him in the first place. Should I tell the parents about the incident?

Ok so the title is a bit misleading, but I am a CAP student coming in this upcoming fall and being so means I would be in COLA, now I don’t know if I am restricted to anything in a way on what I can do/take regarding classes, this is probably a stupid question honestly, but I was wondering if it’s possible while being an Econ major and in COLA, can I still take my pre requisites for dental school or would I have to change my major entirely, or not even be able to in the first place because of COLA? Idk, I’m very confused and have literally no idea what is possible, if anyone has any info or has had a similar experience please lmk or pm me about what you did or might do if you want, TIA!

1. What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games (ex: resolution, FPS, settings) or programs you will be using.**

Not very intensive games, usually things like Minecraft, Phasmophobia, lethal company, and the odd game like Sons of the forest.

1. What is your maximum PRE-TAX budget before rebates and shipping?

~$1000 tops, will be price checking different options on parts to hopefully find places to just pick up the items

1. When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.

Throughout this summer where the money allows it, just startes full time out of school so hopefully get a part or 2 a paycheck

1. What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ex: toweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)

Tower, OS, monitor (Will look into and edit if my school has a window program)

1. If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? How old are they? Brands and models are appreciated.

I have an old (8? Years) gtx 1050 or 1040, and a single DDR4 8gb i dont remember the brand, came in a prebuild from cyberpower

1. Will you be overclocking (ex: CPU/GPU/RAM)? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line

Will not be overclocking

1. Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSDs, mass HDDs, Wi-Fi / Bluetooth, VR, VirtualLink, tensor cores, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc.)

Nothing too fancy, enough storage for a nursing student + a few games. Needs wifi

1. Do you have any specific case preferences (ex: mITX/mATX/mid-towefull-tower sizes, styles, colours, window or not, LED lighting, etc.), or a particular color theme preference for the components?

White, window (tinted or clear doesnt matter), LED lighting

1. Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? Note: some post-secondary students can get Windows 10 for free at OnTheHub or through their school's IT software distribution department.**

Ill have to check if the link above works with school, will edit this in a little bit with info

1. Will you be upgrading this PC in the future (ie: will you swap out better parts later on or will you build an entirely new tower later)? If so, when?

Maybe upgrade way down the line

1. Do you have a brand preference? (ex: AMD/Intel for CPUs, AMD/NVIDIA for video cards, etc.)**

No brand preference, just whatever will work in the budget lmao

1. Extra info or particulars:

Any help is appreciated i built my own PC awhile back and spent way too much on things that i shouldnt got something else lmao trying to build something that'll work good for my gf who games semi often but mostly for light gaming and school.

Yes this may be trying to play the system a little but I am doing everything I can do get in given my grades. I have multiple courses to fulfill course requirements. For example let's say 4 units of biochem are required, I have 8. Can I just use the class I got the higher grade in or do I have to select both?