Just a couple disclaimers: Please be nice, Im already dealing with a difficult situation. Leaving my husband isn't an option, we believe that our daughter needs one set of parents. Thanks :)
My husband , daughter, and Inare currently living with my inlaws. Moving here was last resort and it took a lot of convincing from my husband. The plan was while living here, my husband and I both go to work, and save for a house. We'd have help with the baby and cheap rent. But now our plans have changed.
I have never had an easy relationship with my MIL. She is a very singular person. She has CPTSD, deals with chronic pain and is under tons fo restrictions from drs. She's a very strong and admirable woman. In a lot of ways I look up to her. But I've had my struggles with her. She can be overbearing and an oversharer. She is overly involved in things she doesn't need to be. She offers constant unsolicited advice. And I don't feel like I've ever has a conversation with her that didn't evolve into her talking about her trauma, old family drama, and all the times people offended her. And as much as I want to be understanding of the things she's experienced, I don't really feel like she wants to get to know me and is only treating me like a trashcan for her bad experiences.
I have tried to set boundaries. Im not a good communicator and so it was really difficult for me to sit down with her and discuss what I needed. It was necessary though, especially since I had just given birth to my daughter. I asked her to back off with all the info dumping and trauma dumping (in kinder words but that was the basic gist). And I asked for a couple of other things when it came to our baby. But not too much later, my SIL came after me and accused me of trying to take my child and use her as a pawn to hurt my MIL. (Situations where children were used to hurt people was something that happened in their family unfortunately). I was extremely upset about this and since then not a whole lot has changed. Maybe I just needed to push harder for my needs?
It may not seem like a big deal but this is something that has me particularly upset too. We aren't allowed to use their washer and dryer or our own laundry detergent. I regularly go without clean underwear and work clothes. And I get rashes from the detergents they use. Everytime I've brought this issue up im told that I'm being pushy and expecting too much of my MIL.
There are TONS of other experiences here that have left me pretty disheartened and hurt. I feel like our needs aren't given any kind of consideration.
I don't feel valued here. And my mental health has seriously started to decline. Im struggling to make it to work, be a good DIL be a good mom, be a good wife, and on top of all of that still find time to be good to me. I've been thinking a lot about what the next best course of action is for me and how I can have the space and privacy to work through what I'm feeling. And I came to the conclusion that I need to move out. Whether that was going home to my parents or finding an apartment.
I've always had the mentality that of "if you don't like it leave". It took a lot to convince my husband. It's not easy to tell your partner that their family is the reason you are struggling. It took a lot of tearful conversations. Im not very good at standing up for myself but this is something that I need, especially if I want to be a good mom for our baby.
My husband is particularly upset. He feels that I have not tried hard enough to make this plan work. And he's upset that we are having to change our plans. Especially since part of the plan was sending him to school once we built up some more savings.
But, we put in an application for a cheap apartment her in town. And today we got word that we got it and our move in date is this Friday. And we broke the news to my inlaws and everyone is upset.
They all have their opinions and reasons as to why we can't move. Why it's a bad idea. Why financially we wont be able to pull it off. Even things like how my husband's brother was going to aply for that specific apparment even though we didnt know he was. Im being told that this is a bad impulsive choice even though im prioritizing my mental health. Im having a hard time feeling happy about this move. I'm hoping that maybe by writing this all out maybe I'll get some reassurance that this is the right choice.
Sorry if this was confusing. If something needs clarification please ask. I need just as much help understanding my situation haha

In about a week, I’ll be leaving the US to study abroad in Europe for 5 weeks, which will mean a 7 hour time difference. My boyfriend and I are in college, have been dating for two years, and recently moved in together a few months ago. Things are great between us, but I’m worried about him when I go abroad. He doesn’t really have any friends, mostly just me and his parents who live 2 hours away. He will visit them on the weekends and he working full time during the week, so he will be somewhat busy. We also have a cat that will keep him company a bit.
My worry is that he is going to get really depressed and lonely. I know with the time difference and his work/my classes we won’t be able to talk a ton. He says that he’s going to be fine, but I know he’s just saying that because he doesn’t want me to worry. Do you guys have any suggestions for things that I could do/say to make this transition easier for him? As of now, I got him a jar of notes for all 34 days I’ll be gone, but I’m trying to think of some other ideas.
Do you guys have any suggestions of gifts or maybe some apps that could help us stay in contact more? I’m just very worried about him.

HELP! I Need advice. I was invited to my nephews wedding, which is on the West Coast and I am on the east. My sister wants me to go because I am basically the only family left except for my son which he doesn’t want to go and I don’t blame him because he’s not close with my nephew. I let him off the hook as I would have to pay for him to go as far as getting him a suit, airline, etc. Not to mention, I am not close with my nephew either. I wanted to just give a nice gift which was a substantial amount of money instead of going to the wedding which would cost me dress, hotel, air and the list goes on. But my sister really wanted me there, and since my son was not coming, she said to bring Wayne my significant other that I’ve been with for over two years. I was hesitant to do this as I felt he would not know anyone and since we are renting a car, he could just explore California on his own while I’m at the wedding for the day. Well my sister kept saying what is he gonna do stay in the room by himself, I finally agreed and told Wayne that he could go to the wedding. At least I’d have someone to be at the reception to dance with and eat with because I basically don’t know anyone else and everyone will be couples. Wayne was fine with either way. Well I just learned that the wedding was overbooked in other words, they invited 170 people hoping that 120 would show. I am sorry, but this is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. restaurants over book or airlines but you don’t overbook for a wedding if you invite 100 people you should expect 100 and maybe a few won’t show but plan for 100. That’s how I see it, I was told that since they’re overbooked, I can’t bring Wayne. I didn’t want to go to this wedding from the beginning, but didn’t want to cause trouble with my sister. I need advice what you would do and how you would handle this. My sister does not want to talk to the bride and my nephew just tells my sister to ask Janelle (his fiancé) as she is the planner. I believe my sister is afraid of her and doesn’t wanna cause a commotion. In My mind I’m angry because my sister did not stick up for me and on top of that has only a very few coming. there are many others from other sides, I am her only sister, and basically the only person left in her family. Lastly this is a weekend wedding. Rehearsal dinner Thurs., Wedding, reception and party all day Fri., brunch on Sat and pool party on Sunday. I am not going to rehearsal dinner as I am pissed and as of now just going to wedding on Friday which is at another location from the hotel. I will be stuck at that location all day, unless I have Wayne pick me up after ceremony and we can be on our way but I will be by myself and I was only replacing one body with another. TIA

I (21F) & now husband (23M) got engaged with my parents blessing. A couple months later while staying at my at my then fiancé house for the night he receives a text from my father (40M)(threatening his life. Along the lines of “You’re having premarital sex & I don’t approve, therefore it makes me feel murderous” For context they are very religious to an extreme. When my then fiancé told me about the text I immediately went home, packed my things and moved them out of my parents home & into my fiancé’s. I couldn’t see how I could start a life with this man if I couldn’t defend him against my family. I then asked my mother(42F) about the situation and she sided with my father. The texts were non stop for about 2 weeks afterwards. Most of them repeating the first text he had sent and some aimed at me stating that “I have no morals & I have given my honor away”. At this point I had to confront my father about the situation. His response to me is that if my then fiancé could not apologize to him for having sex with me then it was proof that he was just using me for my body and would throw me away the second he felt like it. Me & my now husband have since went on to get a civil wedding because we didn’t feel that it would be appropriate to have my parents present at the wedding.
Fast forward to my 21st birthday a couple weeks ago & I receive a text from my father stating to “not over do the alcohol because that’s how your aunt died”. For context my aunt died due to complications with the alcoholism late last year & it was a shock to all of us. He then proceeded to say”if your husband wants to take advantage of you because you are drunk, just let him, kids are great. I once again asked my mother what she thought of this & she took his side saying it was a joke.
I’m conflicted & confused. I love my parents but the last year has shown my just how non-supportive & controlling they are of me.
WIBTBF if I went no contact with them?

The two-year anniversary of the breakup is really looming over me - it will be May 23rd. Somehow I keep feeling that it’s a kind of milestone, that I need to find closure by then, or make some dramatic gesture, or take some significant action.
Part of me just wants it to be over with and passed, with me having done nothing and said nothing to anyone but my therapist and Reddit. The goal is just to keep my head down, to act as much as possible like it’s any other day, and just keep doing the work of trying to rebuild my life one day at a time. The more I ponder what I long for when I wish for closure, the more I’m convinced that closure is something I can’t have except by time passing.
I miss the innocence of when Clive and I were just platonic friends, when I could still think he was a wonderful person I was lucky to get to hang out with. I miss hanging out with Oonagh, and him, and John at their house. I spent two Christmases with them. At least it’s true that the long battle with grief has beaten a lot of the nostalgia out of me. I don’t remember the good times well enough to miss them as much as I used to - the horror of the breakup, and of him telling me he’d never cared about me and was just using me the whole time, has been at the forefront of my consciousness for two years now.
But I just feel like my psyche is playing all these weird tricks on me where the breakup-anniversary is concerned. I know it’s all a mirage and an illusion - the two-year mark, objectively, has no significance. One of the tricks it’s playing on me is this sense that if I can just get past it without doing or saying anything crazy to anyone, I can breathe more freely, and make a new start at putting it behind me.
I did two tarot readings this week, one yesterday and one today. Yesterday I asked, “How should I regard the upcoming anniversary of the breakup?” I did a four-card “situation reading” spread. The top card, the heart of the matter, was the Two of Pentacles. This is the card of someone trying to juggle and balance things against a background of a roiling sea. It’s a symbol of having to handle a lot of things all at once and balance competing demands. Which is accurate, between work and parenting and trying to have a social life and heal from trauma and improve my fitness and eat and sleep and keep two households running in two states, and keep to a meticulous habit of budgeting and tracking my financial accounts.
The three “contributing factors” cards underneath were the Queen of Cups, the Chariot, and the Ace of Pentacles. The Queen of Cups is clearly meant to be me - sensitive and perceptive, with knowledge, experience, and authority. Her perceptiveness helps heal others, but her sensitivity cuts both ways, making her vulnerable as well as powerful. The Chariot represents strength of will and determination, the potential for movement and triumph. The Ace of Pentacles is a very lucky card - a beginning, like all the aces, with the potential for great prosperity or a windfall of wealth. So, I think the tarot was telling me that it’s going to be a rough period of time with a lot for me to handle. The energy I bring to it is that of a perceptive person who is powerful and has healing gifts, but who is also very vulnerable for the same reasons she is powerful. I have the power to get through this difficult period with strength of will, and when I do it will be the start of a period of prospering in body and soul.
Today, I kept imagining scenarios where I would try to speak up about what Clive did, in order to protect others. I asked the tarot, “If I spoke up again about what happened, could I help protect others without excessive harm to myself or putting myself in too much danger?”
This time the heart of the matter was the Nine of Cups - the card of the heart’s wishes being granted. The three contributing factor cards were the Hierophant, the Two of Wands, and Temperance. This seems like, overall, a very positive reading. The Hierophant is about learning and finding a teacher. The Two of Wands is about vision and determination, making a decision based on courage and will rather than emotions (cups), logic (swords), or practical considerations (pentacles). And Temperance is about exercising restraint and self-control. I think what’s it’s telling me is that yes, I can speak my truth and try to protect others. But, I have to keep trying to learn more, to listen and continue trying to understand - I have to have the humility to realize I have blind spots and gaps of knowledge, so I need to stay open-minded. I need to be courageous and determined to do right by people, and I need to act with restraint and patience, waiting until the time is right. I can speak up, but maybe not right now - I have to wait until the time is right and make sure I’m choosing the right people to communicate with in the most effective way. If I do all this, I can have my heart’s wish, to protect others while also not endangering myself or setting back my own healing.
I was a little confused initially about how to interpret this reading, and thought maybe it was giving me a green light to reach out to Oonagh and ask her for a conversation. But when I sat down to try to think what I could say to her, I couldn’t get out a letter I was happy with, and in writing it, it was all too clear that trying to communicate with her that way would be disastrous and pointless. I remembered all the reasons why I decided I couldn’t trust her and felt that talking more with her could do no good. So I posted the letter in UnsentLetters, because it’s very therapeutic to not send such letters, and to post them on Reddit instead.

For context I live about 2000 miles away from my family with my fiancé who is in the military and is supposed to deploy at any point in the next month or so which is just so great because I also don’t know when he’s coming back. We’re getting married in October and trying to plan that around his delayed deployment is extremely stressful. I am a full time undergrad online student and just added a minor while I’m starting my honors thesis research project in which I’m conducting my own study this fall. I work full time in a special ed classroom and while I love kids and love working with special needs kids and have a couple years of experience, I hate the classroom I’m in. There are 11 kids in it who are constantly, and I mean constantly, having behaviors. And I love behavioral analysis and all that, that’s what I’m studying, but these kids are so low that any behavior corrections do not work. And so I deal with kids pushing other kids, breaking their glasses, putting their hands in the toilet, eloping, dropping to the floor, everything you could possibly imagine. And the kids who do understand actively choose against making good choices. But schools are about to let out and I now have to find a new job for the summer which sucks. My fiancé was supposed to deploy about 2 months ago and didn’t so we’ve been sharing a car and while I love spending time with him more than anything, my only time alone now is my 30 minute break at lunch which I have to listen to my annoying ass fucking coworker yap the whole time in the teachers lounge. Also she is super frustrating too because I have to pick up a lot more slack because of her. But because I don’t have any alone time or time to reset after work (I usually would use my car ride home to listen to my music and reset) I've been taking my overly stressed, reactive work-self home to him and he told me today I have been mean to him a lot lately and I feel horrible about it because it's the last thing I want to do and he does not deserve any of that. On top of everything, we also found out that we are moving across the world at the end of the year so we now have to buy a new car, put a down payment on a place out there, buy a washer & dryer, and also move everything out there which includes our dog, who is also a massive pain in the ass as he is in his pterodactyl phase and constantly getting into anything he can. On top of all of those expenses (and the wedding), our roommate decided he is going to move out at the end of the lease instead of going month to month like we originally agreed on doing until we move, which means we have to find a place to live for 4 months. This means another down payment on an apartment when the studios around us don't go for under $2300. Great. So after he told us that, I decided that I could not attend my cousin's bach party in the summer in order to afford attending her wedding as a bridesmaid in December (which is also 2000 miles away, during the most expensive week to travel, and about a week before we move across the world), and told her I cannot pay my portion of the air bnb but that should be fine because its still 2.5 months out, and she could find someone to go in my place, find a different house, or ask everyone else to pay my portion which would come out to $30/person, which sucks, but I cannot spend $1500 on someones bach (flying, activities, airbnb, grocery, dogcare, parking my car, etc.) during this year of all years. I know I am kind of the asshole for canceling so close, but I can't control all of the unexpected finances I had come up this year. This understandably upset her, and she basically gave me the ultimatum of if I don't pay my portion for the airbnb she is gonna kick me from the bridal party. So that's fantastic truly. And on top of that, my parents are coming out to see me in a couple weeks, and this will be the last time I see my dad before he goes into a surgery that is extremely risky and if does not go well will leave him blind, and I am currently no contact with my deadbeat addict mom as she blocked me on social media for a reason unbeknownst to me. So I am fucking tired. I am stressed. I am burnt out. I am overwhelmed. I am frustrated. And I don't know what to do with any of those feelings because they are truly all "time will fix it" issues. I go to the gym, I eat well, and I prioritize sleep. But I am just stuck in this fucking limbo and I am treating my fiance like shit and I am performing so reactively at work and I feel horrible about that. Ugh. I am hoping this vent will help me get everything off my chest so I can be and feel better. If you read this far, thank you and I appreciate you.

So there I am, The Desi Playboy, back in my scrawny college days, just a couple of lean dudes fresh off a bar-hopping spree, chilling at the bus stop. Out of nowhere, this hulk of a caucasoid frat bro comes up, gives me a slap on the back that damn near sends me flying into next Tuesday. "Owww!!" I couldn't help but yelp. Dude struts past us, throwing over his shoulder, "Time to hit the gym, boys!!" I brushed it off, ego slightly bruised. After all, I'm the guy who’s been repping out with 20 lb dumbbells in my apartment gym like I’m training for the Olympics. That’s got to count for something, right?
Growing up, our idea of exercise was running away from aunties at family gatherings or maybe the occasional cricket match that was more about snacks than sports. The gym? That was uncharted territory. Our parents, bless their hearts, equated physical fitness with being able to sprint for the bus without wheezing. The notion of lifting weights, tracking macros, and chugging protein shakes was as alien to them as ketchup on biryani.

Attraction: It’s More than Just Physical

Have you ever had a girl flirtatiously squeeze your biceps, reinforcing the stud that you are? How about playfully slapping your ass when you’re not looking? That moment, my man, is raw, primal attraction at its finest—a kind of magnetism most men sadly never get to feel. Are you getting that type of attention from the ladies? Going to the gym and lifting weights is the first step into becoming that fuckable specimen. Picture this: you're strutting around, radiating confidence, and women gravitate to you, captivated, before you even utter a word. Arguably, muscles on a man is the equivalent of nice tits and ass on a woman. It's like you've got this invisible force field of allure, and all it took was a little sweat, discipline, and iron at the gym.
Think about it. In a world where first impressions are made in the blink of an eye, your body speaks volumes before you've even had a chance to dazzle with your wit or charm. It's not superficial; it's literally science. Physical fitness signals health, vigor, and, let's be real, the ability to handle business, whether that's lifting heavy things during a move or just looking damn good in a fitted shirt. An unfortunate reality is that women often manipulate men to get their needs met. However, men can simply manipulate the environment themselves to get their needs met. You think your crush is opening those pickle jars by herself? A nice, jacked body signals to women that you are good at manipulating your immediate physical surroundings.
So, if you're lounging on the fence, wondering whether hitting the gym is worth it, let me spell it out for you: Hell yes, it is. Not for the fleeting attention or the shallow compliments, but for the undeniable boost in how you perceive yourself and, subsequently, how the world sees you including women. It's about becoming a magnet not just for looks, but for respect, confidence, and yes, a whole lot of that good old-fashioned primal attraction.
Get ready to be the guy who walks into a room and commands it, not because you demand it, but because you've earned it, one rep at a time. Let's ditch the excuses, embrace the grind, and transform not just our bodies, but our entire damn aura. The iron calls, gentlemen.

Built Different

Our Desi genes serve us a mixed platter when it comes to body types. Some of us are fat fucks, while others are fragile twigs no matter how many samosas we demolish. For those of you guys on the overweight side.. Do you have Ananth Ambani money? No? Then you literally can’t afford that body if you want pussy. And if you can afford that body it is gonna bite you in the ass when you have heart disease.
Those of you scrawny sticks? Stop looking down at the more muscular bros and start looking at the women they’re pulling. Don’t get me started on that weird gray area a lot of us brown dudes fall into. I’m talking about the skinny fat phenomenon—a term as oxymoronic as 'jumbo shrimp'. It’s that peculiar body type where you look slim clothed but are a marshmallow in disguise. It’s the bane of many a Desi dude, a sneaky reminder of all those laddoos and no leg days. Ready to get rid of the bitch tits?
Look around at the next family gathering. Notice how cousin Rohan is built like a tank, but you got that uncle bod? That’s your first clue that genetics play a bigger role in this game than you might’ve thought. Tailoring your workout to your body type isn’t just smart; it’s crucial if you want to see real, lasting results.
Custom Cuts: Here’s the deal—

• Ectomorph Bros (The Lean Machines): You’re the guy who can inhale a whole pizza and not gain an ounce. Your mission? Focus on strength training to build mass and incorporate calorie-dense foods to support growth. Less cardio, more lifting.
• Endomorph Gang (The Easy Gainers): You look at a donut, and it goes straight to your hips. Your path? A mix of cardio and strength training to shed fat while building lean muscle. And yeah, keeping an eye on those calories is key.
• Mesomorph Legends (The Natural Athletes): You’ve got the best of both worlds but don’t get cocky. Balance is your best friend—equal parts strength, cardio, and a diet that fuels both muscle building and fat loss.

Alright, which of these body types are you rocking? Lean Machine, Easy Gainer, or Natural Athlete? Time to design a workout routine that suits your unique build. Yes, The Desi Playboy is dishing out homework, but trust me, it’s for a mighty good cause: to make you irresistible to the ladies. Now before we actually start integrating that workout routine let’s not forget to revisit the food on our plate.

Desi Diet Doom

The Desi diet is a freakin’ carb fest—a glorious, tasty trap that’s basically a middle finger to your muscle gains and fat loss goals. You probably recognize the following: plates piled high with rice, naan, and rotis, with a side of “Are you even eating enough?” from every relative. Navigating this when you’re trying to get ripped or ditch the belly fat is like being on a diet in a candy store.
Every meal’s a carb carnival, and while you love it, your body’s begging like, “Bro, where’s the protein?” It's like trying to build a house with all bricks and no cement. And oh, the ghee and oil. Delicious? Hell yeah. Conducive to abs? Hell no. It’s like slathering your goals with butter—tasty but terribly counterproductive. Add to that the mountain of sweets at every family function—those jalebis and gulab jamuns are seductive, but they’re saboteurs hiding in plain sight, wrecking your waistline one sweet bite at a time. If you’re gunning for that sculpted look, it might be time to negotiate a peace treaty with your sweet tooth and get serious about sneaking more lean meats and greens onto your plate.
Now let’s be honest, are you cooking all these Indian meals yourself? Or have you become completely dependent on your mom’s cooking? Is the extent of your cooking skills limited to boiling water and maybe, on a good day, making a mean cup of chai? Let me guess you top off the chai with some of Amma’s sweet sweet titty milk too? Listen up, because here’s the deal breaker—women are attracted to guys who’ve got their life sorted, including what’s on their plate. And if you’re letting mom choose whether it’s dal or paneer for dinner tonight, don’t be surprised if she’s also the one choosing your bride.
This, my dudes, is precisely why I’m all about preaching the gospel of DIY in the kitchen. It’s more than just about mixing spices; it’s about mixing independence into your life recipe. Grabbing the reins of your culinary journey isn’t just about impressing dates; it’s about fueling your body right, especially if you’re looking to bulk up and carve out those gains.

Protein Power Moves

There’s a way to keep the flavors of home without turning into a samosa yourself. It’s about being smart with your choices, making swaps, and still being able to face your grandma without guilt.
Lean and Mean: Start mixing in more lean meats, tofu, and legumes. Think chicken tikka, dal tadka with less tadka, and grilled paneer. Your muscles will thank you. But why stop there? Venture beyond with dishes like Thai grilled chicken or Turkish lentil soup. These global cuisines offer high-protein dishes that still dance on the tongue.
Smart Swaps: Ditch the white rice for quinoa or brown rice. Swap some of those rotis for a big-ass bowl of salad. Sprinkle some Mediterranean zest with a Greek salad, or bring a burst of Japanese flavor with a side of edamame. It’s about keeping the essence of Desi cuisine but making it work for your gains.
Supplement Smartly: Yeah, protein shakes might look like drugs to your folks, but they’re your BFFs on this journey. Mix that stuff with some milk or water, and chug. Think of it as a cheat code for muscle building—quick, efficient, and straight to the point.
Explore and Expand: Don’t be shy to sprinkle some culinary curiosity into your diet. Try Korean BBQ for a protein-packed meal, or if you're feeling adventurous, a Peruvian ceviche can offer a refreshing twist packed with high-quality protein. These flavors not only enhance your palate but also fuel your fitness goals.
So, there you have it. Turning the Desi diet dilemma into a muscle-building manifesto doesn’t have to be a soap opera. Keep the flavors, ditch the excess carbs and fats, and for the love of all that is holy, make protein your main homie. Expand your culinary horizons to keep your meals exciting and your body guessing.

From Diet to Dates

Alright, my fellow Desi bros, let’s wrap this up. If you’re serious about leveling up your game with the ladies, it’s time to get real about your diet, fitness, and lifestyle. Tailor your workout to your body type—whether you're an ectomorph, endomorph, or mesomorph—and make the gym your second home. Ditch the carb-loaded Desi diet for protein-packed meals. Whether you’re eating lean meats or are a vegetarian, make smart swaps like quinoa for white rice and grilled paneer for fried snacks.
Start cooking for yourself to fuel those gains and show you’ve got your life together. These changes lay the foundation for attracting women by boosting your confidence and health. The journey starts now. Let’s make those gains and turn some heads. The iron awaits, gentlemen.
Stay tuned for Part 2, where we’ll dive into lifting and integrating your workout routine to get you on track.
Check out the full article here: https://open.substack.com/pub/desiplayboy/p/iron-and-spices?r=k8bgi&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
For more such insights and to continue the conversation, follow me on Twitter at https://twitter.com/TheDesiPlayboy.

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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My mother raised me on her own, as my father left when I was a baby. I suppose that fact alone has always made me try to judge her less harshly for her poor parenting. She'd fly off the handle for no reason and did everything to keep me away from her during the day if I wasn't in school. When covid hit I was in my first year of university, though online, and living with her. This is where our relationship really began to deteriorate and she became unable to even be in the same room as me without becoming aggravated. My mental health was in the gutter and she only heightened the problem, often saying I didn't have a condition which I inhereted from her and am diagnosed with, because of minute things that only someone with a pop culture knowledge of the condition would think, not someone who has it. She would constantly make comments about me, call them "jokes" and make me out to be "moody" or a "killjoy" when I'd react badly to them. Then restrictions lifted and I was able to move away for university I was relieved, though we still kept in contact, because I was constantly guilt tripped and blamed for simply wanting to pursue my education and treated like I didn't care for my family because I had the audacity to move away.
Each time I go home (extremely infrequent due to these issues), I notice her becoming a more and more hateful person. At first it was her treatment of service staff, which I'd never noticed before. I was raised well mannered by her and was shocked at the way she would speak to them sometimes, though I'd picked up a job in retail in between this time so it may have been heightened awareness. Then it became her views I noticed. She had always been somewhat of an anti-establishment person politically, but she started to skew into a dangerous territory. When we'd disagreed politically in the past there'd always be a discussion, she was anti-abortion until I managed to change her mind, but this was different. First it was vaccines, which she decided caused autism and told me she wished I hadn't been vaccinated (FYI, I don't have autism). Then it became a progressively more staunch opposition to immigration, leaning hard into fearmongering dog whistles about transgender people and queer people in general, and opposition to progression of women's rights and a complete dismissal of what's happening in Palestine.
Look, I'm not here to debate any of these issues with you, but they are all connected to me personally. I was raised by her to not feel any prejudice, she is the reason I have the progressive views that I do, so to see her spout talking points created by the people who want the extermination of myself (who is gay) and the people I care for (queer, immigrants, palestinians, women I all call my close friends) makes me disgusted. There's an election coming up here in June in which the far right seem to be gaining steam and I'm horrified to even ask her what way she is voting. If she supports the people who share the ideologies of those who put people like me and those I care about through camps, and famine and torture the I cannot stand to be around her. I'm aware people may do what she does, which is call these views simply a difference of opinion, but I am not overexaggerating when I say with these people in government I would be dead, and so would those I care about. And although there is no chance right now of these people being in government, the idea that she'd support and bolster them to a position where they could be makes me sick and genuinely feel unable to be around her. Would I be wrong to cut her off? Do I owe it to her to stick by her since she raised me on her own? Idk what to do.
TLDR; My single mother is becoming increasingly right wing to the extent where her beliefs are a threat to myself and those I care about. Do I owe it to her not to cut her off?

Not sure if there’s a different subreddit for this.. I'm know I'm not the only one who's seeking this exact advice, l've lurked on this subreddit for years but I'd love for someone to give me their 2 cents based on my situation.
For context- I had braces late middle school to highschool & my teeth have shifted significantly. -I also bit my nails as an anxiety coping mechanism (I know😕) which contributed to a lot of shifting. -overbite still significant
I've finally gotten a new decent paying job and wedding is 6 months away. My biggest insecurity are my teeth, especially the one front tooth that sticks out more than the rest due to nail biting. The rest of my smile is ok, nothing that noticeable when I smile and I don’t mind my overbite.
I’ve had this guilt because my parents wasted so much money on my braces I’d be pulling the trigger again and wasting money. I’ve consulted over the years but never went through with it because I was kind of tight with $$ in college.
Now that I have decent savings, ive decided if it’s for my confidence I should stop delaying it, it will always be worth it .. my last consult was March 2023 and if I went through with it I would’ve been right on time for my wedding this November. 🥲
My main concern is just for that 1 tooth to push back in the next 5 months. My ortho said it will happen by the wedding and I’m ok to go either route braces or aligners… IDK about that, wouldn’t braces make a quicker difference? And because my jaw is all uneven, would aligners help shift that? Upon reviewing my options, they recommended Angel aligners as an upgrade to Invisalign.
The cost is $5500 for aligners vs $4500 for braces. I can’t find enough info about angel aligners in mg area other than they’re actually a cheaper alternative to Invisalign. Is it worth the cost then? Shouldn’t it be cheaper lol I’m in Houston for reference. I’m going to see if they can settle on $5k but I can’t find enough online to know if I’m being up charged..
I liked the service of this clinic. I’ve consulted with a handful in the past but I went back to this one and want to lock things in.
Open to any advice, experience with Angel aligners?!?
Thanks!!

By popular demand, I guess...
I was kinda just being a smart-ass, but some of you wanted more so here it is: epilogues for every NPC as if they didn't continue to travel with Gorion's Ward and instead just decided to live their own life. Obviously, there are some implied alignment changes here.
This turned out to be longer than I expected and I kinda just threw it all together while I was working. Please excuse any typos or sloppy writing.
I want to apologize for one thing, though. Viconia's epilogue really only works if GW is a male, so I had to make that assumption for the sake of her story. If it matters any, I easily play just as many female GWs as I do male GWs. In fact, I probably play more female GWs because I don't care for the romances, frequently play the canon party, and want to nip the lame Jah romance in the bud.
But, to have them all in one place, I included my original smart-ass epilogues with the additional ones I created. Now, every character from BG1 and BG2 has an epilogue. I don't have the EE characters, though, because I play the original games and don't really know them.
So, just for funsies, which one is your favorite and why?
"Anomen continued to wait at the Copper Coronet for a party of adventurers willing to travel with him. Maybe it was the grating sound of his voice, or perhaps the way he leered at women, but he continued to remain alone. Eventually, he needed to find work to make ends meet. With Gorion's Ward having disbanded the slave traders and pit fights, Hendak had to find a new form of entertainment for the patrons. As such, he invented an all male review ladies night, and Anomen found work as a 'dancer'. He left the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart to join the less noble order of the pole. He also renounced his faith to Helm and instead allied himself with Waukeen because if you wanna see some groin, you gotta have some coin."
"Despite Gorion's Ward clearing the trolls from her keep, Nalia was not able to reclaim her lands and instead lost her estate to Lord Roenall. The lord offered to let her retain residence in her family's ancestral home, but only in exchange for her hand in marriage. Nalia found the proposition to be repugnant. Instead, she salvaged whatever wealth she could from her family's keep and moved to Athkatla to start a new life. She no longer helped the less fortunate, as she was now among their numbers and had her own problems. Nalia's lack of any practical skills combined with her sense of entitlement sent her into a life of failure followed by drinking and debauchery. She now spends more time back at the Copper Coronet than anywhere else. It is hard to say where she squanders her wealth more, the alcohol, or on the dancers during Ladies Night."
"After the incident with the Planar Sphere, Valygar was finally free of his past, could retire to his cabin, and pursue his true passion: writing. Ironically, the only inspiration he found ended up stemming from his family's checkered past. Valygar's only works that even had middling success were 'Tuesdays with Lavok' and 'Dude, Where's My Planar Sphere', with the latter being made into a production at the Five Flagoons Theater."
"Haer'Dalis continued to work as a performer at the Five Flagoons Theater. Unfortunately, it struggled due to poor management. It might have turned out better if an outside agent with fresh ideas had stepped in, but Gorion's Ward had better things to do than be a bard. While the work was generally steady, the returns were not great and the material was a little low-brow for Haer'Dalis' liking. The tiefling realized he reached rock bottom when he was cast as the lead in a play about a buffoon who apparently lost a plane-shifting apparatus the size of a small castle and had to find it before his parents returned from Neverwinter. After the opening night, he took his own life in his dressing room. His body was found the next morning with a note saying, 'Art is dead and I am art, so I shall join art in death.' Biff the Understudy stepped in for Haer'Dalis despite never having an opportunity to read the script. Nevertheless, the production was a resounding success and launched Biff's career to new heights."
“A heartbroken Garrick found work as a character actor at the Five Flagoons Theater, but eventually gained more success as a writer and director. He found it to be a mostly agreeable situation, aside from a tiefling primadonna who would constantly belittle his work and call it ”trite" and “drivel”. Fortunately, that situation worked itself out in time and Garrick found Biff to be much easier to direct. With the tiefling gone, his ideas had room to grow. He invented a new kind of love story, one where the protagonist doesn't always get the girl at the end but the journey to that ending would be quite amusing. He labeled this genre “the Comedy of Romance” and the works were mostly based on his own life. His plays were quite popular among the commoners, with his top selling shows being 'Sleepless in Saradush', 'Silverymoon Linings Playbook', and 'Crazy Rich Aasimars'. He eventually fully transitioned off the stage into the director's chair. By the peak of his fame, he was married to none other than Queen Ellesime."
“Aerie continued to work at the circus and WOULD NOT SHUT UP ABOUT HER DAMN WINGS. Even Quayle eventually grew sick of hearing about it. This put strain on their relationship. Things took a turn for the better when Ribald Barterman acquired a new curiosity for his shop. It was a magical ring which he sold to Quayle at a reduced rate out of sympathy. This ”treasure" was actually a cursed Ring of Deafness, which Quayle found to be anything but a curse and wore it for the rest of his days."
“Xzar and Montaron were both slain at the hands of the Athkatla Harpers, but this is actually where their story begins. Xzar, as he had done so many times before, had a backup plan of an arcane nature should death befall either he or the halfling. Their mortal essences were pulled to a pocket plane he created. There they could be channeled into restored bodies cloned at his estate. With this particular round of ritual, Xzar had incidentally made a slight error in the incantation and the two found themselves in a time suspended state in Xzar's pocket plane. It was only five minutes for the rest of the world, but it was fifty years for them. This turned out to be a pivot point in their relationship. Having only each other's company in this shadowy void, they were finally able to work out their feelings for each other. When they had returned to the prime material plane, they discovered their mutual animosity was replaced with love. Rather than pick up their life where they left off with the Zhentarim, they decided to pack it all in, moved to Bryn Shander, and start a bed and breakfast. Montaron rediscovered his halfling roots and love for the culinary arts while Xzar would perform seances to connect guests with their late loved ones. Scones and Bones became an overnight success and was consistently listed as a “must see” in Volo's travel guides. In their golden years, the couple co-wrote a memoir of their journey, ‘Brokeback Montaron’, which is sold in bookstores everywhere."
“After briefly crossing paths with Gorion's Ward, Mazzy Fentan continued her crusade as a de facto halfling paladin. She eventually found herself petitioning for membership at the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart in Athkatla after she had singlehandedly saved a village from an ancient dracolich. Despite the extent of her virtue and accomplishment, her petition was denied on the basis that halflings could not possibly be real paladins. This inspired her next crusade, one to break down vocational barriers for all demihuman races. Why couldn't halflings be paladins or dwarves be wizards? And why did gnomes always have to be illusionists? It simply made no goddamn sense. She began to get traction with her quest when she attended lectures by the wizards of the (sword) coast in Candlekeep. With their help, she ushered Faerun into a new edition era where there would be no vocational barriers for adventurers based on their race. Soon, the world began to see roguish halflings that also venerated Helm, while tending to the wilds as a druid. Half-orc bards also studied as wizards while manifesting natural arcane abilities as sorcerers. Tiefling paladins took their crusades to the wilderness and served as rangers, while sidelining as clergy to Mystra. The world was now a liberated place, free to not make any goddamn sense in a myriad of new ways. At one point, Lady Mazzy Fentan of Trademeet (now formally a paladin) crossed paths with a dwarven shadowdancebard and in that moment she regretted everything. Seriously, just take a moment and picture that. It would look fucking ridiculous.”
“Yeslick's clanhome was flooded once again. Despondent and without options, he took work at a smithy in Baldur's Gate but never stopped dreaming of finding both a clan and a home. He found a way to bring this dream to life after a courageous halfling paladin broke down the barriers for, among other things, dwarves to be wizards. Yeslick had an idea. He studied magic diligently until he was able to cast two spells of great importance: Water Breathing and Permanence. He then searched the lands for other clanless dwarves who would be willing to try something new. With the new clan he formed, Yeslick permanently gave all his fellow clansman the ability to breath underwater. They then moved into the flooded Cloakwood Mines and built the first underwater dwarven stronghold. Using his arcane powers, Yeslick also developed the ability to speak with the marine life that shared this stronghold. And, with that, the clan Aquadwarf was born. At one point, Valygar visited and wrote a play based on Yeslick's story. However, he couldn't even get it to stage at the Five Flagoons Theater. The illustrious director Garrick was quoted as saying, “A hero that can breath underwater and talk to fish? Nobody would go for that!"
“Keldorn finally retired from the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart and looked forward to a much simpler life. He rekindled his marriage with Lady Maria and life seemed to improve. It was rather early on when the couple discovered that Maria had become pregnant again. It was also not long after that when Peony, the housekeeper, also became pregnant. Maria started to ask Keldorn about this, but Keldorn started to get defensive and asked, ”Hey, who's the Inquisitor here?" Then Keldorn started to do the math with her to track the conception of Maria's pregnancy. She certainly did not want him to get to the end of that equation, so she quickly changed the subject. She suggested getting a new maid, but Keldorn chastised her for abandoning someone in their time of need who had been like family for years. He forbade Peony's departure claiming that his god, Torm, would not stand for it. Maria then made a passive aggressive comment about Torm being the god of loyalty, but she was mostly just muttering under her breath to get the last word in. Eventually, both children were born and had probably the most awkward upbringing of anyone in Faerun."
“After Gorion's Ward helped Coran take down a wyvern, the rogue brought the beast's head back to the mayor of Beregost for the reward and accolades. He thought this put him in a position to be a hero of great renown and perhaps, just maybe, people would stop mocking him for his flashy attire and completely superfluous eye mask. They didn't. He only gained acceptance when he crossed paths with a ranger who seemed indifferent towards Coran's keen fashion sense. Coran traveled the Sword Coast with his ranger sidekick, righting the wrongs against the ‘little guy’ and taking the law into their own hands when needed. This partnership dissolved when he discovered that the ranger thought Coran was the sidekick. As if! Coran tried to correct the ranger, whose argument was, 'Really, man, if that outfit doesn't scream sidekick then I'm Elminster's twin brother.' The ranger was not related to Elminster and shared no resemblance.
“Kivan never was able to get his revenge on Tazok. Unbeknownst to him, that honor was taken by Gorion's Ward. His thirst for vengeance continued to eat away at him until he found himself in a bat infested cave in the wilderness. It was then he snapped. He turned the cave into his secret hideaway, put together a disguise and started wandering the sword coast looking for evil-doers to punish. He would leave his calling card wherever he saved the day, a token of a bat with longer ears like an elf. And bats already had rather long ears so these bat ears were almost comically obtrusive. Nevertheless, his deeds were generally appreciated and the people stared calling him Bat-elf. For a short spell, another elf tagged along with him and tried to help, but he was so flamboyantly dressed that one could pick his sidekick out of the shadows blindfolded. Kivan eventually had to send him on his way. Unfortunately, his vigilante crusade abruptly ended after receiving a cease and decist order from DC Comics. Kivan could fight both monster and marauder all day, but his 14 Constitution wouldn't hold up against a lawsuit for trademark infringement.”
“Skie was deeply affected by both the death of her brother and the assassination of her father. And yes, her father was actually murdered and didn't lol-jk back to life in some crappy DLC. In any event, through these traumas, she came to realize the puerility of what she thought was her brilliant criminal masterminding. Instead, she decided to settle down and live a more responsible life as an upstanding citizen of Baldur's Gate. She took the reins of her father's estate after his death and rose to prominence as one of the Grand Dukes of the city. She maintained her relationship with Eldoth for quite some time, inexplicably, as he refused to get a job because he didn't want to take attention from his band which he swore was going to make it. However, the bard spent most of the day either lounging at Skie’s estate or gambling away his allowance with games of three-dragon-ante at the Helm and Cloak. Eventually, inspired by the book “Men Are From Menzoberranzan, Women Are From Immilmar," she decided to call it quits with Eldoth and sent him packing. Shortly thereafter, she met a man who was nothing like Eldoth and they settled down together to start a family."
“Eldoth's dreams of being a world-famous musician fronting the greatest band in Faerun never reached fruition. This was partly because he didn't actually have a band and partly because he didn't have the talent to write music. Instead, he just had a lute he purchased at Lucky Aello's Discount Store that only had one A-string and was missing the E-string. Also, Eldoth could only play power chords and he couldn't really sing and play at the same time. Most of the time he would just strum a chord or two and then talk about what the song would do next, often describing a solo and half playing it on an ”air lute" (while he was still holding an actual lute, mind you) to give people the idea as to how the song would sound when it was finally written. Yeah, he was one of those guys. After Skie kicked him to the curb, he bounced between various barmaids who clearly had low self-esteem, but not low enough to keep him around for long. Eventually, he got one of them pregnant and was forced into a shotgun wedding by the barmaid's father. He now works in the kitchen at the same inn as his barmaid wife. She helps the customers up front and he cooks eggs in the back. Eldoth continues to tell himself that this experience will just provide inspiration for his music and that someday he was going to get the band back together."
“After being rescued by Gorion's Ward, Xan made his way to Baldur's Gate to regroup. He spent an inordinate amount of time beating himself up over his failures and trying to muster the gumption to continue his quest to unravel the political turmoil of the region. However, it took him months to get to this point, and by that time, Gorion's Ward already sorted out the problems in the region. Discovering this, he deemed himself a failure yet again and sunk into a deeper depression. He pulled himself out of it when he met a woman who lost most of her family to violent deaths during the iron crisis, yet she still kept herself together and became a local success in a few short years. Xan immediately fell in love with the recently single Skie Silvershield and began to court her. They eventually married and started a family. At Xan's insistence, and inspired by his wife's name, their two daughters were named Sunshine and Rainbow. Xan was a staunch supporter of his wife's career and stayed home to raise the kids. When they were older and needed less attending, he followed a new dream and became a motivational speaker.”
“Korgan had his revenge against his backstabbing crew and employer, but he felt...empty. It was done, but he felt no satisfaction. Disgruntled and disappointed, he decided to lose himself in his cups at the Copper Coronet. Even this did nothing to alleviate his malaise. One night, having passed out drunk in a peasant room at the Copper Coronet, he dreamt of that final fight but something was different. In the background of the battle, there was a glow coming from the door of a shack and he heard the whispering of a language that sounded like it was from Kara-Tur. When he woke the next morning, Korgan returned to the rooftop and found the shack from his dream. He knocked and was greeted by a priest of Illmater. Korgan told the priest of his dream and he was led into the backroom where he found a man from Kara-Tur infirm and huddled over a cup of tea. The priest explained that he had just reincarnated this man of the faith using a heart delivered by a passing adventurer. Korgan took this as a sign, converted to the faith, and the two paired up to help those in suffering as a result of the schemes of others. The tales of Korgan and Yoshimo were not only told in many of a tavern by the bards, but also collected in graphic serials that were popular among the children of Athkatla.”
“Ajantis' death sent him into an afterlife at Everwatch, the realm of Helm. For his honor and diligence, the devout knight was granted an audience with his patron. Ajantis then told Helm what utter bullshit the god was. I mean, c'mon, he's the god of protection, the Vigilant One, and he couldn't protect a group of knights from a dragon's cheap illusion spell that a mage even tried to dispel with True Sight? It was like Helm wasn't even trying. Helm was stunned by the confrontation but also had no valid defense. Ajantis called Helm to a trial that was mediated by Tyr. After careful deliberation, Tyr determined that Helm was sleeping on the job and the judgment was to demote him to a lesser deity. Now, Helm was the patron of guards, but not actual guards that ever see action, just the ceremonial ones whose weapons and armor are super shiny and probably not even real. Ajantis was then granted Helm's old portfolio and became a god that truly protected his followers.”
“Viconia left Athkatla's government district perplexed. She was rescued from burning at the stake by Gorion's Ward and then immediately dismissed. She found this to be unusual behavior for a male. She was accustomed to men either trying to bed her or kill her, but this casual indifference was completely new. Viconia came to be obsessed with Gorion's Ward from a distance. She spiraled into a fantasy where the two of them had a future together. It was pretty bad. There were some extremely embarrassing vision boards involved and that wasn't even the worst of it. When her mania reached critical mass, her obsession actually collapsed and she had an epiphany. She came to realize that she did not need this man, or any for that matter. She started on a journey of self discovery and took a moral inventory of her past relationships. She wrote about it in the book, “Men Are From Menzoberranzan, Women Are From Immilmar”. She then used the revenue from the book sales to open Athkatla's first feminist bookstore. In Her Words became a mecca for women, particularly those who felt trapped in bad relationships. The community that emerged here created the group, Friends of Galia, which strove to free women from abusive relationships. Eventually, the bookstore expanded to include an apartment block above that became a shelter for such women. Occasionally, the partners of these victims would come around to In Her Words in an attempt to drag their partners back home. You can probably guess how a confrontation between a drunken 0-level commoner and a Drow priestess of Shar ends."
“Faldorn was defeated by Jaheira in Trademeet and lost her title of Arch-Druid. In truth, she was relieved to be relieved of the position. Years of pushing forward the Shadow Druid agenda led Faldorn to realize that she had lost touch with the real Faldorn along the way. After some soul-searching, she reinvented herself as a lifestyle guru and developed an entire line of organic health and beauty products under the name, She-Wolf. Both her products and seminars were all the rage in Athkatla, specifically among noblewomen who clearly had too much free time. Faldorn eventually gave up her residence in natural environs for a lavish estate in Athkatla's government district. Her following soon pressured her to petition to join the Council of Six after the fall of the Cowled Wizards left the position open (aside from a short-term replacement). Her petition was a success and she soon found herself on the Council of Six. Under her leadership, she created created the FDAA, the Food and Drink Association of Athkatla. Now, instead of draconian rules governing magic in the city, equally restrictive rules and standards were applied to the food and drink that the people consumed.”
“Barely surviving being gravely wounded by Irenicus, Tiax left Spellhold for Athkatla where he intended to do what he did best: rule. Learning from his past campaign mistakes in Baldur's Gate, he changed his slogan from ”Tiax Rules!" to “Make Athkatla Great Again”. Of course, what he thought would make Athkatla great was putting himself in charge as a despotic leader. But, he toned down that aspect of his platform and instead focused on the history of scheming and backroom dealing of the Cowled Wizards (as if he was any less evil or scheming) and promised the people he would be different than all the other corrupt politicians. Miraculously, despite his obviously apparent character flaws, he succeeded in replacing the Cowled Wizards' representative on the Council of Six. He decided to take their stance on restrictive magic to the next level and banned magic entirely. Since he didn't study the arcane himself, it was no skin of his nose. This move undermined his support base leaving him with only the most backwards and ignorant followers. He was ultimately removed from his position when he insisted the city build a wall around the planar sphere and was expecting that the city's wizards would be the ones to pay for it. After his removal, his few remaining extreme supporters organized an invasion of the main government building under the guise of freedom of assembly. All nine of these “rebels” were rounded up, tried, and sent to prison. Tiax was convicted of treason and reincarnated in Spellhold, which was now just a common prison. After his eventual release, he was prohibited from seeking any position of power in Amn."
"Edwin Odesseiron continued to lay low with the Shadow Thieves for a while. The Cowled Wizards suffered a crippling blow as a side effect of the conflict between Gorion's Ward and Irenicus. Edwin decided to step in and finish the job. His thought was that he could wipe out the Cowled Wizard remnants and then take credit for their defeat, thereby gaining him more clout among the Red Wizards of Thay. After many conspicuous mage battles in the streets of Athkatla, he succeeded. However, the people who noticed his efforts the most were actually the people of Athkatla. They were tired of living under the Cowled Wizards' iron fist and Edwin was lauded as a liberator and hero. He even had a statue in his image raised in Waukeen's Promenade. Edwin was initially nonplussed over people finally giving him the credit he always felt he so rightfully deserved. But, he quickly came to accept their praise and bought in to being a champion for the people. Edwin continued his agenda of liberation when a clearly insane gnome who found his way on the Council of Six tried to ban magic entirely in the city. Edwin and his followers were primarily responsible for having the madman removed from his seat.
“Shar-Teel, Safana, Branwen, and Alora all happened to cross paths with each other at Elfsong one evening. Shar-Teel was looking to fight a man, Safana was looking to shag a man, Branwen was recently petrified by a man, and Alora was just excited to be somewhere new. The four got to talking with each other and, despite having wildly different personalities, seemed to hit it off. Shar-Teel was sarcastic and aggressive, Safana was self-absorbed and man-hungry, Alora was kind and sweet, and Branwen was the matriarch of the group. You wouldn't think this lot would get along, but they actually did, and their differences merely become the fuel for innocuous hi-jinks week after week.”
"With Gorion's Ward's help, Cernd was able to rescue his child that he then abandoned again at the druid grove near Trademeet. He promised that he would return to raise the child, he just needed to run to the general shop in Trademeet for some pipeweed. He never returned, but that was pretty obvious since he didn’t even smoke. Cernd continued to wander Faerun. It came to light in Cormyr that Cernd had actually married, and had children, with numerous women in Cormyr, Amn, the Sword Coast, Tethyr, Calimshan, Turmish, Halruaa, Icewind Dale, Chondath, Sembia, Impiltur, the Silver Marches, and even the Troll Hills (don't ask). Furthermore, it was discovered that Cernd was not actually a druid, just a werewolf that had a Ring of Goodberries. The druid con was so that he could have a reason to abandon his wives and children and move on to a new situation. You would be surprised at how many women could fall for a guy that can conjure an impromptu picnic in the park. Unfortunately for Cernd, Cormyr was not the kind of place to run afoul of the legal system. For the crime of bigamy, he was sentenced to life in prison. He never set foot near a druid grove again, but he was allowed to participate in a work-release program tending to the gardens of nobles.
“Kagain returned to his shop and grew even more bitter, but not over what the death of Entar Silvershield's son had done to his reputation and business. Instead, he resented that even the Enhanced Edition of the game didn't give him a remotely decent companion quest. By Moradin's hammer, Cernd even had a pretty involved companion quest and the story there both starts and ends with a deadbeat dad! Also, Kagain can regenerate! Korgan can't even do that. And another thing! He was sick of people confusing the two of them as if all dwarves look alike or something. Ok, granted, they're both old dwarves with greying beards, but Korgan's beard is tied while Kagain's beard is brushed out. Of course, none of this made sense to anyone, even to Kagain who never actually crossed paths with Cernd or Korgan. However, the dwarf had nothing to do with his time except stand in his shop, isolated and alone, until he was done in by insanity and plantar fasciitis.”
“The death of Khalid shook Jaheira to the core. She convinced herself that she could never love again, certainly not so soon after his death nor with anyone that would be a child in her eyes. That would be absurd and rather tacky. After her escape from Irenicus' prison and deposing Faldorn from the druid grove, she took over as Arch-Druid. Being a Harper just wouldn't be the same without Khalid. However, the grove would allow her to explore a new, but comfortingly familiar, phase of life. She had barely been installed as the Arch-Druid when Cernd dropped off his child and disappeared again. He did not even stay long enough to tell Jaheira the child's name. Knowing he would likely not return, she named the child Khalid after her lost love. Realizing there were other children our there without families to care for them, Jahaeira would send her subordinates to wander nearby lands and bring them to the grove for a better life. Perhaps not surprisingly, many of these children happened to be Cernd's. She eventually renamed the grove to Kinder Garden in honor of the grove's new purpose of giving these children a kinder upbringing. Jaheira's headstrong personality served her well with these lost children, who all loved her as they would any mother. The Kinder Garden became the most thriving druid grove in all of Faerun. Jaheira eventually died in 1547 DR, with hundreds of children haven been rescued in her lifetime, and a memorial was erected in her honor at the grove. The inscription read, 'Nature's Servant Awaits.'"
“After being freed from Irenicus' dungeon, Minsc put his boots on the ground at the Copper Coronet. Being the simple man that he was, he found himself unwittingly recruited into fighting in the gladiator pits (before Gorion's Ward was able to free the slaves). Yet again, Minsc took a blow to the head. But this time, its effects were something completely new. No longer was he the slow-witted evil-slaying ranger, armed to the teeth and packing a hamster. Instead, his intelligence and wisdom started to blossom and he explored, through dissertation, the impact of modern civilization on the overall ecosystem of Faerun. Indeed, before Minsc started his work, the people of Faerun didn't even have the concept of an ”ecosystem". He left Athkatla to pursue a residency at Jaheira's grove where he could study and work in peace. He published works like, “The Intersection of Geopolitics and Biodiversity: Living More but Dying Sooner”, “The Essential Symbiosis Between the Savage and Civilization”, and “Moral Urbanization: Seeking a More Comprehensive Prosperity”. Minsc continued his studies and writing and ultimately produced enough groundbreaking works to have his own annex in Candlekeep. It was shortly after the dedication of this annex that Minsc disappeared from Faerun, never to be seen again."
“Jan Jansen's fate was the most impressive of all as his endeavors shaped the very fabric of Faerun for centuries to come. His story truly serves as a moral lesson for everyone and we should heed its virtue quite seriously. Helping Lissa and Jaella planted a seed of regret in Lissa with regards to her marriage to Vaelag. Speaking of seeds, this reminds Jan of a time when he was helping his Uncle Scratchy with his turnip farm. However, Uncle Scratchy was hoodwinked and the seeds he received were actually purple carrot seeds. You can imagine Uncle Scratchy's surprise when they sprouted and he suddenly had a field of purple carrots. Well, as you probably know, you can't make turnip stew, or turnip casserole, or turnip pie with purple carrots. But it just so happened there was a mage tower nearby and the resident mage needed a vast number of carrots. Apparently, her plan was to animate them as a kind of vegetable army to combat a myconid infestation in cave system rather close to her tower. Of course, animated carrots are quite self-assured and were immune to myconoid's confusion spores. Anyway, Jan had a once-removed cousin, Bobil, that was lost in those caves when he was a young gnome. He had wandered so deep that he found himself in the den of a solitary xvart who was obsessed with a magic ring. Bobil happened to purloin that ring but it turned out to not be magic at all. However, it was still worth enough for Bobil to buy himself a nice cottage in Trademeet. He then started his own turnip farm and had better luck than Uncle Scratchy. Wait, what were we talking about, again?”
“Boo continued his mission to study the sentient life forms of Faerun and determine their potential impact on the metaverse. He preferred the continued company of Minsc due to the ranger's kindness and protectiveness. Boo found this to be quite valuable in his current miniaturized state. Even after Minsc's accident, where his intellect began to expand, Minsc never lost his good heart and inherent kindness and the two remained the best of friends. It was a number of years later that the term of Boo's mission was complete. A team of his fellow people arrived on a spelljammer to collect the giant miniaturized space hamster. Minsc (and Boo) were on a retreat in a remote part of the Neverwinter Wood when a vessel shaped like a giant acorn landed in a nearby clearing. A number of human-sized anthropomorphic hamster-like beings, who called themselves the Ysoki, emerged and met with Boo. One had a strange crystalline device which it used to restore Boo to his proper size. Minsc naturally remained composed while all this was happening. He and Boo talked often and he knew this day would be coming. Boo returned to the spelljammer with his brethren to debrief on the mission. The Ysoki wanted to bring a sample back to their homeworld for further learning and study. Boo offered Minsc for the task, as the exemplar human would fit in nicely with the Ysoki's advanced culture and society. Everyone was in agreement and made the offer to the ranger. Minsc felt like he had made every contribution he could to the people of Faerun, so he accepted and boarded the ship. Boo, excited to finally be on a spelljammer again, took the helm and plotted a course for his homeworld. At his side sat his friend and faithful companion, Minsc.”

I'm know I'm not the only one who's seeking this exact advice, l've lurked on this subreddit for years but I'd love for someone to give me their 2 cents.
For context- I had braces late middle school to highschool & my teeth have shifted significantly. -I also bit my nails as an anxiety coping mechanism (I know😕) which contributed to a lot of shifting. -overbite still significant
I've finally gotten a new decent paying job and wedding is 6 months away. My biggest insecurity are my teeth, especially the one front tooth that sticks out more than the rest due to nail biting. The rest of my smile is ok, nothing that noticeable when I smile and I don’t mind my overbite.
I’ve had this guilt because my parents wasted so much money on my braces I’d be pulling the trigger again and wasting money. I’ve consulted over the years but never went through with it because I was kind of tight with $$ in college.
Now that I have decent savings, ive decided if it’s for my confidence I should stop delaying it, it will always be worth it .. my last consult was March 2023 and if I went through with it I would’ve been right on time for my wedding this November. 🥲
My main concern is just for that 1 tooth to push back in the next 5 months. My ortho said it will happen by the wedding and I’m ok to go either route braces or aligners… IDK about that, wouldn’t braces make a quicker difference? And because my jaw is all uneven, would aligners help shift that?
I’m stuck between going braces route vs aligners (angel aligners). I know it’s personal preference and knowing myself I was leaning toward braces cuz I’m a snacker, but because my wedding is coming up I’m leaning toward that now since I’ll be able to remove them.
The cost is $5500 for aligners vs $4500 for braces. I can’t find enough info about angel aligners other than they’re actually a cheaper alternative to Invisalign. Is it worth the cost then? Shouldn’t it be cheaper lol I’m in Houston for reference. I’m going to see if they can settle on $5k but I can’t find enough online to know if I’m being up charged.
I liked the service of this clinic. I’ve consulted with a handful in the past but I went back to this one.
Open to any advice, experience with Angel aligners?!?
Thanks!!

Another installment in the eternal gay crusades of /Christianity, now complete with more Daughters of the Confederacy level discourse about slavery.

Because it is worse than slavery.
Why do people try to force God to agree with them and accept their ideas rather than trying to learn God's will and align themselves to it?

so god has a poor morality

No. You do, if you disagree with him.

common you can also use your critical mind and say something is bad if it is obviously bad

Obvious to whom?
And based on what standard of badness?

mmm... empathy, compassion,
make a person as your property is baaad

Suffering under massive debt? Choose to sell yourself into slavery to pay the debt and remove the burden. While a slave you will have to do whatever work your owner requires, but you are guaranteed room and board and have no financial obligations. When the term of your slavery is over, if you are happy in your current situation, you can choose to make it permanent. If you are unhappy you go free with no debt and a small amount of money to help you establish yourself in your restored liberty.
The problem is that people today only think of slavery as it existed in the transatlantic slave trade, but that was not the only form in history. I think if slavery as set out in the Law of Moses was practiced today we would have much less of a debt based economy.

it doesn't work that way if you're a woman. if you're a woman and are sold by your father, you are enslaved for life.

https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/1cs2bb4/why_does_the_bible_call_homosexuality_an/l42fjhk/
There's also another child thread where someone pointed out that the parent commenter is an insane bigot but the mods nuked their responses for incivility.

Slavery doesn't cause less people to exist. The YouTube apologists have approached the slavery topic a lot recently. I used to wonder the same thing. The matter is God has these people and he wants them to be a certain way but they are stubborn.. think of it like you have a cow that ran away and home is north and this dumb ass cow doesn't want to go north but he will go north west..

Slavery torments the already living...

Not always historically. This is what people are taught in a modern lens. Sometimes in the past people would purposely become slaves in Jacob's case to get a wife. And something interesting in Bible slave laws is that these people could run away.. so if your gig is such a bad deal that you want to leave, you can. Additionally in the case of Israel after a certain number of years they go free.. and some of them loved their masters so much they decided to stay.. which is likely the case with Eliezer.

.... leave it to Christianity to see people speak so positively on the concept of salvery

https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/1cs2bb4/why_does_the_bible_call_homosexuality_an/l427som/
A digression on Hebrew translation

For one thing, "abomination" is not really a great translation of the word "ṯō·w·‘ă·ḇaṯ" / ṯō·w·‘ê·ḇāh, which is used in a variety of "do not" contexts, not necessarily conveying the sort of disgust and rage that "abomination" suggests.

Let me rephrase the post to your liking: Why does the Bible condone enslaving people but demand two men be killed if they have sex with each other?

Because one is a commandment and one is not.
Doesn’t seem fair to most ears, but when someone is circumcised of ear and heart, they “see” things differently.

https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/1cs2bb4/why_does_the_bible_call_homosexuality_an/l432735/

That's a very good question. Slavery is a horrible thing, it's detestable. The idea of something like that coming from a loving god would be a huge contradiction. It's up to you how you choose to rectify that
Slavery back then is not the same as what we went through recently. Where it’s just whips on plantations.
And you guys cherry picking homosexuality over all other sins is ridiculous. If homosexuality is ok, then why can’t all adultery be ok?

What's wrong with two people of the same sex in a loving, consensual, mutual relationship?

If they’re celibate then nothing…
What’s wrong with Covet and adultey as a whole? Let’s just abolish it. Is that ok?

Well both of those things harm people
If you covet something that doesn't belong to you, that eats a hole in you and might inspire you to do something to get what you covet.
Adultery damages trust between romantic partners and breaks hearts.
Two mutually loving people having sex who have the same genitalia harms no one.

Two same sex couple having sex also eats a hole in them. Spiritually. If you don’t like it then it’s ok, just don’t call yourself a Christian and expect God to favor your desires in the end. The point is to trust God. You’re literally going against him by committing adultey having same sex in the dark… Why not just be celibate? Why do you need to have same sex relations and blame the Bible for not being fair. It makes no sense. If you’re a homosexual who chooses sex over God. Cool. But don’t drag him down because he can’t see you in the dark.

https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/1cs2bb4/why_does_the_bible_call_homosexuality_an/l42ssq8/

Are you saying slavery isn’t detestable or that it coming from a loving god isn’t a contradiction?

a loving God and slavery isn’t a contradiction. You need objective morality in the first place for it to be a contradiction, and you atheists do not.

a loving God and slavery isn’t a contradiction. You need objective morality in the first place for it to be a contradiction, and you atheists do not.

I think you're misunderstanding "objective morality" there are several ethical schools that don't require an authority figure.

https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/1cs2bb4/why_does_the_bible_call_homosexuality_an/l43e65c/

I think saying homosexuality is not harmful is naive. You are free to do it but it does have consequences that preclude you from any semblance of traditional living. Also, if everyone was homosexual there would be no people bc it does not produce children.

The only downsides are from the hate bigots create. Let’s not victim blame now

Haters gotta hate 🤷🏾‍♂️... is Taylor swift a victim too? She has haters after all.

https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/1cs2bb4/why_does_the_bible_call_homosexuality_an/l42tgxf/

I believe it has to do with the nature of their slavery. The standards for slavery were different than today’s- I don’t believe they had prisons; if you owed someone something, you became their slave. It was a temporary status.
The only more permanent slave status I’ve read in the Bible involved pagan people that were being punished.

No, god explicitly permits people to own other people as their property for life. It was not always temporary, and didn't always have anything to do with debt repayment.

Exodus 21: 2-6
“When you buy a Hebrew slave, he is to serve for six years; then in the seventh he is to leave as a free man without paying anything.”

Right. Now read Leviticus 25:44-46 about buying and owning foreign slaves.

Yeah, that’s what I meant about “punishment for pagan nations” Everyone around the Israelites were pagans.

https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/1cs2bb4/why_does_the_bible_call_homosexuality_an/l42hqpl/

According to your own morality, the concepts of slavery and that of a loving God are contradictory. Just about anyone should be able to see that regardless of religious beliefs.

Nope. Slavery and a loving God are compatible, as we don’t decide morality you might as well tell that opinion to a brick wall.
So again, how is slavery and a loving God contradictory?

Because slaves are not the recipient of God’s love. You can’t love someone and also allow them to be enslaved.

Why not? Who are you to decide what love is and what love isn’t?

I’m sorry you feel that way. It’s mind-boggling to me that you think enslavement of humans is OK.

https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/1cs2bb4/why_does_the_bible_call_homosexuality_an/l42ybv5/

Slavery isn’t necessarily the worst thing to happen to anybody ever, we just fetishise it today because America puts so much importance on it. Fact is that in ancient pre-mechanised times if you needed something doing you with did it yourself or got your captured enemies to do it. Slavery has been present in every society in history and has many forms, it’s damn nearly a natural state of humanity. Sometimes slaves were abused, murdered, tortured, raped; sometimes they were given gifts and made part of the family. “The ottomans took Christian children as slaves and made them into elite warriors who eventually got their own kingdom, meanwhile their trans-Saharan slave traders routinely castrated all the males they got from Africa and sent the women into harems, making European slavery relatively benign.

“B-But akshually guys slavery wasn’t that bad and it’s natural!!!”
You go out of your way to defend slavery, but don’t do the same with homosexuality which is objectively less harmful, please stop talking.

https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/1cs2bb4/why_does_the_bible_call_homosexuality_an/l42gaf7/

The Lord doesn't need to call salvery an abomination. There is a correct way to handle slavery through debt. However, that does not mean they are property. The Lord's children, ARE NOT FOR SALE. All debt should be and needs to be released freely every 7 years. Then you bless them as they leave freely, regardless of the amount of debt returned back.
Homosexuality IS A CHOICE. It's a much of a choice to choose who you sleep with, as it is to lust in the first place. He calls it an abomination because it's your choice, and it almost always leads to a chaotic state. Not directly, rather, indirectly. It leads culture into a mindset of "I should be able to anything I want to". Sadly, that's just not how a stable society functions, and you see it's ripple effect today.

Homosexuality is NOT a choice, plain and simple, no buts or ifs. If it was, you could choose to be homosexual for just 5 minutes to prove your point which you obviously can’t, no matter how hard you try you can’t control who or what you’re attracted to. It is also not inherently lustful just as heterosexuality isn’t inherently lustful, couples of any gender or sexuality can have a loving and healthy relationship. It doesn’t lead to any “chaotic state”, as I mentioned before it can be perfectly healthy, what truly leads to a chaotic state is the constant backlash of mindless homophobes who don’t want to accept the fact that their worldview is wrong. Also, multiple societies in the past had no problem with homosexuality and turned out very prosperous. Read a book, bigot.

Lol

What an insightful response.

There is no response you will accept or even listen to. I gave the only one worth giving.

That’s blatant projection right there, you did not accept or listen to my response, so it’s more like you were proven wrong and didn’t know what to reply with.

https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/1cs2bb4/why_does_the_bible_call_homosexuality_an/l42ga4o/

Strap in yall it’s a long one! So im a 27 F and my ex is a 29 M. Here’s the full background: We met on tinder and started off as friends, we would hike and gym together for a few months until it turned into something more, then we started dating. We dated for about a year and a half, I ended up breaking up with him. It was a great relationship, But I was going through my own emotions and didn’t know how to handle depression whilst being in a relationship.. so I let him go. I moved away, and started a new career , at the same time he moved away for school. I was gone for about 2 years and then I found out I was pregnant(single mom) I told him about it and I felt like me having a kid completely ruined any chances we would ever have of getting back together. We started sending each other letters and keeping in touch while I was away. I started to fall for him all over again. Months go by and I moved back home when I had my kid, and he was also back in the same area. I thought maybe we could try again. When we met up I fell so hard for him, except I was dumb and told him my feelings .He told me he didn’t feel the same and just wanted to be friends and it really hurt me, so I decided to cease all contact and cut him off. Over the next year I started to date and finally moved on when of course he followed me back on IG but I was in a relationship at that point so he left me alone. A few months later I get a text from a random number saying they ran into my dad, come to find out it’s my Ex. He then starts texting me over a span of a few months..inching his way back in..and at that point he informs me that he’s moving back on my side of town.. across the street from my parents to be exact. He finally one day mentions meeting up to catch up, so I said sure. At this point I’m in an unhappy relationship with my most recent partner and my ex was seeing someone else. We decided to be friends , so we started going to the gym together again, studying, and doing races 🏃‍♀️. We kept it to public places and I made sure not to allow myself to go to his house. Every time we hung out he would ask me about how my relationship is going and fill me in on his. I then ended my most recent relationship, (we still live together so I’m also trying to navigate that) and he started to fill me in on how he feels like he should cut things off with the girl that he’s talking to. So he did that and At this point we are starting to hang out longer and spend more quality time together. On one of our hang outs, we watched some movies and all he did was lay his head on my thigh and I went home at a decent time. Next time, we have a pool day and we were both pretty exhausted and took a nap together.. neither of us could sleep due to the tension and that’s when he kissed me. About 2 weeks later, I was supposed to go out of town but I needed to drop a housewarming gift off to him. He tells me he’s going somewhere at 9pm and could meet me out. Then he calls me and says nvm and that I can just come over and drop it off and we can hang for a bit. I was flying standby on my trip and I realized I was not going to make the flight for the following day. He informs me that he is wanting to go on a hike the following day and that if I’m not going on my trip anymore that I can join. So I said okay..cancelled my booking and we booked an Airbnb. So we had a pretty spontaneous weekend getaway it was honestly quite romantic and that’s when we hooked up.. so now we have finally crossed that line and I have no clue what to do. It was great, I think we really connected again, but I also feel stupid because I feel like I should have waited longer. I want to be with him in the end, he’s always been the one that got away. I’m afraid that if we continue then he won’t want me because he already has it all in a sense. So I’m feeling like I need to distance myself since I can’t really undo my actions, maybe there’s a way I can get it moving in the right direction again. Atleast until I get out of my current situation which will be in about a month. But what do I do now? I’ve been feeling so many emotions ever since then and can’t seem to quiet my mind.
The timelines might be hard to follow but It’s been 5 years since we broke up, 2021 when I moved back home. May 2023 is when he followed me again, and December2023 when he started to text me again. January 2024 I ended my recent relationship and February 2024 when I started to see my ex again.

I, 33F, have been married to my husband 43M for 3 years now, together for 5 years. His daughter (22F) has HATED me since day 1. For context, I’ve never once tried to mother her and have only tried to be a supportive adult. In the beginning I tried everything to extend an olive branch, I financed a car for her in my name, I added her as an authorized user on my credit cards to help establish her credit after she turned 18. No matter what I did there was always open hostility and blaming me for anything that went wrong in her life. She gets pulled over for a DUI? It’s my fault because I must have called the cops on her and told them. She loses something? It’s my fault because I must have stolen it from her. The examples are endless. It got to the point where she told my husband that he had to choose between us and when my husband stood by my side, she didn’t attend our wedding and went no contact with us for a year and half. She resumed contact when she wanted his help, but it’s always with the caveat that I am not around. She throws fits whenever I am involved even if it’s as simple as we invite her to dinner. She is always asking for money since resuming contact since she refuses to hold a job. He ended up paying for her rent, gas, groceries, and fun money for over a year. Well he finally cut her off financially and only gave her the opportunity to earn money by cleaning our office. He started the business and I work with him. We had previously closed the office down and went full remote but we recently opened a new office and he’s hired his daughter to do the cleaning, which was supposed to be during business hours a set day each week. I was planning on doing hybrid work and taking an office, but I recently learned that he’s going to let her have a key and come in when she’d like, unsupervised. I am extremely uncomfortable with the thought of her having any unsupervised access to any space that I call my own considering her continued hostility towards me. WIBTA if I tell my husband that if she’s allowed to clean unsupervised that I will stick with working fully remote?
Edit to add more context: Mom and dad were together for 16 years but had been divorced for 3 years before I met my husband. She was originally NC with her mom but then chose to go between parents to get to be able to do what she wants. She dropped out of high school in 10th grade and hasn’t even tried for her GED. Mom has been married for 4 years and together with her husband for 5 years and they have 2 year old twin girls together.
Also I don’t want to work at the office since I would be worried about what she possibility do to anything that I leave there as she’s been pretty vindictive in the past.

My mom helped my father's elder sister's daughter to marry a good guy, everyone was happy, but suddenly he got heart attack (he was in army, and he was in camp that day), and we didn't even got time to save him. Now my father's both sisters hate my mom and dad, because they think we did it all this or whatever the reason is.
I really want to help her and her son, and I try to do whatever I can do to help them as well. But one day my Bua called my dad and said he will face the same fate that they have faced (They were more direct).
Now coming to my uncles, again father helped them whenever he can.
Now last week my mom got admit in hospital, because of some health issues, for a day (she was not well for few weeks now).
None of my father side family came to see her in hospital or went to our home in village to help her (they all live 25km away from village, and 2-3 km away from hospital). On the other hand, all my mother side of family was there.
They get so nice to me whenever I meet them, but dude if you are not good to my parents, why should I care about you.
We still are joint family, but all live in town with their family. And I wanted to keep the joint family going on. My cousins are younger, and they too are very close to my parents, but again bounded by their parents. Being an elder brother, I always get them whatever they ask from me.
But now I'm so disappointed.
Even after my grandmother said to my father's sisters, that my mom is not well, they didn't dare to at least ask how my mom is doing. My Aunts (uncle's wife) had no courtesy to come to village to help my mom. My mom and dad live in village just to take care of my grandmother, else I and my sister we both are working and had asked them to live with us 100 times. And in return we are getting this.
I don't understand if you don't like my parents, why you guys are so nice to me and my sister, just because we get gifts to our cousins, or fulfill their demands. My parents are like they are your brothers and sisters take care of them, we think the same, but again their parent's behavior toward my parents is upsetting me.
There was this incident when my grandfather was admit in hospital for 2+ months, and in his last time, no one came to see him (we were little away from our hometown, everyone says to me, I stayed with my granddad till his last breath, but I feel this now). My grandfather spent is life building their career, even supporting them financially till his last days. Why everyone is being so selfish?
Why?

As the headline says, I got some pretty mind blowing news today. For context, I’m the oldest of 4 grown adult children in my 40s, mom is in 60s my siblings are 12 years + younger with the baby 26. Long set up but I promise it sets the tone…My mom has always been very controlling of everything, utilizing her children as commodities for visits with family and other parents etc. I never knew my dad and when relationships ended with the other siblings fathers, they only got access on her say so etc which was not often. By the time I was 16, I was in high school raising 3 siblings ranging from infant to toddler. She was barely home working long haul trucking while stepdad at time was recovering from flipping his big truck. He ultimately tried to kill himself again in my presence with my siblings asleep (he was Vietnam vet with ptsd) one night and I stopped him and called for help. He went away for a few months but ultimately she brought him home one day months later, shipped my siblings off to my aunt and told me at 17, I had 24 hours to find place to live. I was still in high school but newly dating a guy who had lawyers for parents. They stepped in took custody of me.
Needless to say I was traumatized, she took off with stepdad and went back on road with him. I didn’t get to see my siblings often because they were hour away from me and I barely spoke to my mom. She ultimately didn’t speak to me till the weekend of my 18 birthday. She called to tell me to come back home and quit school to take care of siblings because my aunt was no longer going to do it while they continued to drive cross country. I was senior in high school months from graduation and said NO. She said she would never speak to me again because I was selfish and I couldn’t see my siblings either.
This started decades long cycle, I barely got to see my siblings as they grew unless I did what she wanted which as I grew up, I chose less and less to conform. I only got to see them at family affairs that I was invited to with all family. My grandparents came to my 1st wedding when she refused to. Ultimately the stepfather in questioned that she chose over her own kids in my teens left her and cleared their bank account of his inheritance money the night she came to my house to visit with my second child shortly after I gave birth.
She has been relatively a single parent since, she had to come off road long haul trucking because she had no one to watch 3 young children all the time. The siblings grew into teens and young adults with some major issues. The two older ones cannot stay out of prison, the youngest struggled early in teen years, I tried to help where I could but it was not easy. Their 1st born was in dfcs custody before 2 months old, I took guardianship of both child and parent but they did not stick around and did their own thing. After 2 + years of failed parenting plans etc, we adopted to keep them in family despite the fact my own children were teens at this point.
My mom was angry and said I should have left them in dfcs to disappear but later tried to say I stole the child. My sibling does not feel the same way but they are still very heavily reliant on my mom financially (she control their bank account and money) she would not let them tell me she was pregnant with 2nd child and I didn’t find out till they were 4 months old. They hid pregnancy and baby from rest of family. By the 3rd child we had a better connection but they are still very reliant on my moms financial assistance and when she does not want me to know something or participate in certain events they won’t tell us or avoid contact. I don’t play into the antics though and one of my mom’s biggest issues with me is that I don’t call/text her on daily basis as my siblings supposedly do. I’ve explained that I have a busy life of my own multiple times. I have full time job, manage care of a special needs child and assist with care of aging fil while running a household of 6 people. My grown children still live at home because college and living expenses are too much to handle in this economy.
I do make an effort to text or call every few weeks. I connect for sure on holidays, birthdays etc. I knew when she called to come over today it was important and I was available despite it being a work day normally. She came in bluntly told me about her widow maker heart attack and triple bypass surgery that occurred while she was out on a run in the truck. My sister and aunt where has power of attorney over her will etc was notified in time for them to travel several hours to another state to be there by time she was out of surgery. Per my mom she told them to notify those who called or were in her 2 week call history. Which apparently left me out. I went back into both my call log and text history and showed her our communication with in 10 days of the event and she said she had no idea about it, she was high on morphine at time. I showed her the multiple text conversations we had had since no more than 3 weeks apart between each conversation since January, asking why she never mentioned it during those conversations. She never answered my calls during that time but that was not too unusual. I had met up with my baby sibling a few weeks ago to get the kids together and they never mentioned it either. My mom has been living with them since the event full time and has not worked since. No mention what so ever. I did find out two of her own siblings were also left out intentionally as well and found out much later too. The only reason I found out today was because she found out she had cancer in her kidney and has to have another surgery soon and wants me to get test to make sure I don’t have it. She is not apologetic about leaving me out of the loop at all. She says I have to call her or text once a week in order to be considered for notification of such events.
I’m hurt, I’m flabbergasted and have no idea how to proceed. I’ve discussed cutting all contact with my husband and adult children in relation to mom but that means cutting contact with my baby sibling who is bio parent to my youngest, this cutting their connection to their younger siblings. The older siblings are easier because well honestly they are in jail more than not. I feel like this will never end and she will go to her grave trying to control the narrative.

Hello! We are having a Paebaek Ceremony during our wedding and are in search of a script for our MC to read to facilitate the event. For those that have done a paebaek, where can you find a script to use to help explain to non-Korean guests what is going on?
Thank you!

Howdy y'all. I haven't posted for awhile so I thought I'd give another short story a try. This takes place during Chapter 2 after Kris, Susie and Ralsei split temporarily leaving Kris alone. Hope you enjoy.
An Honest Conversation
Kris, Susie and Ralsei came up to a split in the road in Cyber City, Ralsei noting the occasion by walking up in front of the group and looking towards Kris and Susie as they wondered what he had to say.
"Seems we've come to a split in the road. We should split up--Kris, who do you want to go with?" Ralsei looked to the human, slightly annoying Susie.
"Why does Kris get to pick all the time?!" Susie walked up towards Ralsei, grabbing him by the shirt. "You're coming with me."
With that, a blank faced Kris was left behind as Susie took off down the northern alley leaving the human behind to fend for himself.
"SUSIE!!" Ralsei shouted.
"WHAT?!"Susie responded.
"you can put me down." The goat Darkner whispered in slight annoyance.
"...oh." Susie gently stopped running, putting the hairy goat Darkner down. "Sorry."
"Why'd you leave Kris behind like that?" Ralsei asked, wiping off his green robes.
"He'll be fine." Susie sighed. "Sides...I was kinda nervous he'd choose me."
"Why?" Ralsei inquired.
"We just became friends yesterday, ya doofus." Susie explained, sitting down against the alley wall. "I'm not ready for that conversation...yet."
"That conversation?" Ralsei raised an eyelid.
"What, are you a million questions Ralsei today?"
"I'm sorry, I'm kinda new to this whole friends thing myself." Ralsei looked down.
Susie sighed, remembering that very fact herself.
"Yeah, kinda hard just having a Ralsei statue as company I suppose." Susie mused, wiping her snout. "The thing is...me and Kris have always been on the opposite end of the spectrum. Kris...he's had security his whole life. Me, I've had shitty parents and no guarantee of a good meal or warm bed. It sucks. I treated him like dirt for the longest time Ralsei. One time, I came pretty damn close to really hurting him. If I didn't stop myself right then I would've done it. I was mad at him...he was so socially awkward, never talked to anyone, kept to himself. Despite everything I did, Kris risked his life for mine. For the first time in my life, I was scared to lose someone. I saw the King holding Kris in his disgusting hands, using the very same words I muttered earlier..."QUIET PEOPLE PISS ME OFF" he uttered his tongue out. It hit me what I had to do."
"Susie, I think it's clear to me that Kris would listen and not judge you given his actions." Ralsei sat down, playing with his fur.
"You think?" Susie asked. "I hardly know the kid. All I know for sure is that he has the greatest Mom ever and that his hair smells annoyingly of apples. You don't know what willpower it took for me NOT to take a bite outta that kid's head."
"I'm sure he'd get you an apple if you asked." Ralsei snickered at the thought.
"His Mom makes good pies...I'll have to pester Kris to have his Mom make us some of her cinnamon-butterscotch pies she's known for." Susie drooled at the thought. "You should come to the Light World sometime, Ralsei. You'd enjoy it."
"I'll...keep that in mind." Ralsei looked away, dodging the question as nimbly as he could.
"I mean it! We three and Lancer would be invincible!" Susie grinned, just thinking of it. "You could be Ms. Alphy's teacher's pet and Lancer could dig all the holes in town he wanted. There's enough pot holes already as it is...a few more wouldn't hurt I suppose."
"I'm sure it would be wonderful, Susie." Ralsei acknowledged.
"Well, just think about it." Susie let end it there, seeing the troubled look on Ralsei's face. There was something he obviously wasn't telling her but it could wait. She didn't want to ruin this. "Look, the real reason I dragged you into this path was--I want to ask you about Kris."
"Kris? What about?" Ralsei asked.
"Don't tell Kris I said any of what I'm about to tell you. And I mean NONE of it Ralsei." Susie narrowed her eyes.
"My lips are zipped." Ralsei meekly responded.
"Good." Susie sighed. "After we left the Dark World yesterday, I felt things I hadn't felt ever...I wasn't sure what happened was real. All I knew was that I felt them and that I didn't want to lose them...most of all, I didn't want to lose Kris. Kris...the kid I hated for my all time in Hometown I now couldn't stand to be without. I thought of em' the whole night. I didn't get any sleep Ralsei and trust me, that bed you presented earlier was VERY tempting...you bastard."
"S-Sorry."
"It's ok...I'm just venting here. Anyway...I guess what I'm saying is that I don't know how I should go about this whole thing."
"When did you plan to have...the conversation?"
"Sometime in the Dark World, when it was just me and Kris."
"Why don't you talk to him when you guys are done with this adventure? You could walk him home." Ralsei suggested.
"Say Kris, why don't I walk ya home and we can talk serious junk...yeah Rals, that'll go down real well."
"R-Rals?"
"What, no one ever called you a nickname?" Susie raised an eyebrow.
"Well, insults like toothpaste boy not withstanding...Rals isn't bad." Ralsei blushed.
"Geez, I'm gonna have to teach you a LOT." Susie moaned, slapping the side of her snout. "Don't expect these lessons to be free either, toothpaste boy. You're gonna have to make a lot of cakes."
"S-Sure." Ralsei sweat. "I mean it though...don't make a big deal, just...offer to walk him home and just bring it up when you two are nice and relaxed."
"Like, when we're sitting down or something? Like now?"
"Yeah! We're talking, having a serious conversation aren't we?" Ralsei nodded in glee.
"No, we're talking about rainbows." Susie rolled her eyes.
"W-We are?" Ralsei second guessed himself.
"NO...that was SARCASM." Susie sighed once again. "I swear with this guy..."
"Sarcasm?"
"I swear I'm gonna call you Million Questions Ralsei forever if you don't stop." Susie crossed her arms. "It's when you want to express annoyance but do it indirectly."
"Huh. I'll have to try that..."
"Can we focus?" Susie snapped.
"O-Oh, sorry--so Kris, what do you want to ask him?"
"I try asking him if we'd still be friends if I opened that supply closet door and you guys weren't there but I chickened out at the last second. I didn't want to think about the possibility of that not being a thing."
Ralsei went silent, looking at Susie as she looked to the ground thinking of Kris in that moment.
"Susie, I didn't realize that Kris meant that much to you." Ralsei rubbed the back of his head. "Am I the one you should really be asking for advice on this? I mean, after all I'm...just learning how to be a friend. And you've done all the teaching thus far."
"Kris and I just became friends. The thought of losing that just scares me...scares me to my very core. The little I did sleep I had a nightmare. It was me and him in front of that bunker door in the woods. He was shaking the whole time, scared of something--I asked him what was wrong. He wouldn't tell me, backing away each time I walked towards the door. Suddenly, the door opened and a look of terror that I've never seen on him erupted on Kris' face. He looked at me, reached out to me but was sucked in and I had to watch as the doors closed on him. I couldn't save him, Ralsei! Kris almost died trying to save me yesterday Ralsei...I don't want to lose him." Susie began to break down. "All this time, I've treated that kid LIKE SHIT and despite everything, he still stuck his neck out for me. What do you say to that!? What do you do with that?! Jesus..."
Susie stood up, sniffling and wanting to begin walking again.
"H-Hey...Susie."Ralsei got up, gently putting a hand on Susie's arm, Susie growing stiff at the contact, Ralsei quickly pulling his hand away.
"Y-Yeah?" Susie turned around, trying to regain her composure.
"My offer still stands. I could teach you some healing spells, if you're up for it. Of course, the lessons would be payment for your advice from earlier." Ralsei offered. "This could help you protect Kris."
"They're hiding something Ralsei, I know it." Susie said. "It troubles Kris, even before we came to the Dark World. If there's something Kris knows and is trying to solve, I want to be prepared for the worst case scenario. I want to protect him."
"Then we'll start with the basics and on the way, refine your approach to conversation starters, all right?" Ralsei smirked.
"R-Rals?"
"Yes, Susie?"
"You're not half bad." Susie smirked, putting an arm around him.
"T-Thanks." Ralsei blushed. "I don't suppose that would translate to hugging..."
"DO NOT PUSH YOUR LUCK."

As a long time lurker, I recently read the post about signs that you were raised by narcissistic parents and realized that maybe I had more of a problem than I wanted to admit. In light of this, I wanted to share/vent my recent struggle and get some outside perspective because at this point I've been in my own head for way too long.
To set the stage: my wife (29F) and I (29M) live in southern California. My parents split their time between northern California and Vegas (all 4-6+ hours away by car). My wife's mother lives close by (about 30 minutes away).
This all started when my wife and I decided we wanted to elope for our wedding. Our jobs have extremely rigid, time-consuming schedules, so finding time to do even this was hard enough. My wife wanted a June anniversary, so the only date we could make work happened to be Father's Day that year. My mom was also out of the country at the time. Despite originally not having any problem with our plan, my dad later changed his mind, invited himself to the "ceremony", and sulked the entire lunch afterward with her family to the point where everyone felt uncomfortable. He was upset that we chose to get married on Father's Day, while my mom was out of town. At the time I felt very guilty. However, our plan was just to spend literally a couple hours signing some papers. I didn't see a need to make my parents drive 8 hours round trip just to watch us sign some documents. We were even planning a celebration trip later on (that most definitely will not be happening now lol), so all the more reason we felt that they didn't need to be a part of this. Now we can't even look at the pictures from that day without feeling all the awkwardness of that day that he inserted himself into.
Then when my wife was pregnant, my mother-in-law's friend reached out and mentioned she had a ton of baby stuff that she wanted to give us, which we were more than happy to accept. This friend lived in Vegas, so I asked my parents if they could go grab the stuff. My dad immediately got upset and tried to convince me not to accept it. I didn't really understand why, but ultimately my mom ended up going to get it. Then when we requested they deliver the stuff to us a couple months before my daughter would be born, my dad again resisted and said he was busy with work and "did we really need the stuff now." I ultimately gave up my only two days off in a 30 day stretch of work to drive to and from Vegas myself to get the stuff in a timely manner. Naturally, my wife was very unhappy with this situation.
When my daughter was born, my dad decided they would visit us to meet the baby. They visited for a day around two weeks postpartum. They brought some food for us, took some pictures, but quickly left again. My wife was furious. She felt like that it had been more about them seeing the baby rather than caring about her in her vulnerable and exhausted state. I agreed, and at this point the stress of being new parents along with my inability to put my foot down against my parents was putting a strain on our relationship.
Then a couple months later, my mother flew in to live with us for a week to help with the baby. We had planned to enjoy a nice lunch and have a fun day on Sunday before she flew back to thank her for her help. We had all agreed on this being the plan, but a couple days before that Sunday, my dad called and stated that he had cancelled my mom's flight and that he'd drive over and pick her up on Saturday instead, skipping the Sunday plans altogether. We negotiated that he at least let us take her out to lunch on Sunday, which he finally agreed to, but then said he'd join us for lunch and to add him to the reservation. Now growing up I had gotten used to this kind of thing from my dad, but my wife had had it at this point. She was angry that he would try to make us change our plans last minute to accommodate him, and point blank refused to change the reservation, leaving my dad to sulk and complain that we weren't being respectful of him. At this point, we agreed that we would keep my parents at a distance and not try to ask them for any sort of help anymore. She also now refused to say hi to them whenever I called them and opted to just keep her distance.
Fast forward to about a week ago, I called my parents while I was home alone. At this point they had noticed that my wife was distant. My dad asked what was bothering us so we could talk it through. Before I could even get a full sentence out, he was already yelling: "oh my god you guys are still thinking about that? When will you let bygones be bygones? Okay fine, I'm the bad guy, are you happy now?" I have always just relented and apologized to appease my dad's feelings, but this time I became angry and pointedly stated that our needs should come first, especially during this period of time. In response, he said that we "never considered that maybe he wanted to feel the joy of buying stuff for his granddaughter", and "have I ever considered that maybe he's uncomfortable going to get hand-me-downs from someone he doesn't know." I told him I felt like what I asked for wasn't unreasonable, and even if it made him a little uncomfortable, would it be that hard to put aside his feelings to help his son. He said "well if you asked me to jump off a bridge, should I do that then?" This was the conversation that really stuck with me and ultimately put me in the headspace to want to make this post.
Now most recently, Mother's Day weekend came up, and my brother's college graduation in northern California was on the Saturday. It also happened to be a friend's wedding. Due to my work schedule, the baby, the wedding, and wanting to celebrate with my wife for her first Mother's Day, I felt it was best that I not travel and just celebrate with my brother at a later date. My brother and mom were understanding, but my dad made it a point to call me and try to convince me to blow off work and skip the wedding, and that "family always comes first." Funnily enough come Mother's Day, they never even tried to wish my wife a happy first Mother's Day. Instead when I FaceTimed them myself to wish my mom a happy Mother's Day, I could see my dad sulking again that my wife had declined to be present for the call. I don't think to this day he fully understands why we're so upset and still feels that we are the disrespectful ones.
Anyways, there's so much more I could say but this post is way too long as it is. I feel like I've thought myself into circles and now I'm not really sure what to think or how to feel anymore. I've been alternating between anger, sadness, and guilt that maybe I'm blowing things out of proportion. I guess I just wanted to put my feelings out there and see what other people thought. Thanks for reading!