Justin biebers cell phone number 2010

TW: Alcoholism, drug addiction, violence, suicidal ideation, sex abuse
This is going to be a LLLLLOOONNNNGGGGG one. This story goes back quite a way, but yesterday was the tenth anniversary of the ending to this story and I'm feeling it, still got some guilt about everything that happened, wondering what I could have done differently and I just want to vent it out and hope to get some closure from it.
This story started in 2010.
Characters in this story (names are fake, duh!):

• Me, Guy, 32M at the time, 45 now.
• My BFF Stephanie, 33F at the time.
• Stephen, 40M at the time, Stephanie's boyfriend.
• Maryse, 27F at the time.

Background and intro
I had known Stephanie for many years and we had the kind of friendship that made her BFs and my GFs uncomfortable to put it lightly. We had never crossed that boundary and I wouldn't consider us in the friendzone, we were just friend, but the kind of friend where she would sit on my lap with her arms around my neck or her head on my shoulder.
At the start of 2010, Stephanie met her then boyfriend, Stephen. He tolerated me and my friendship with Stephanie because I also had a gf back then. She liked Stephanie, wasn't at all jealous of my friendship with her, so he didn't deem me too suspicious. Then my gf and I broke up for reasons unimportant and all hell broke loose for Stephen. He became convinced that I would try and steal Stephanie from him. He insisted that Stephanie introduce me to her female friends or female friends of his. Thus began what I called the year of the 50 blind dates. It was probably closer to 20, but still I like saying the year of 50 blind dates. Most of them were unremarkable and never went beyond the first date. There are some fun stories in there if anyone wants to hear them eventually!
In July of that year, I had to switch gears because I had to focus up and study for a professional exam for a certification important to my career. This exam required close to 600-800 hours of study over a 3-4 month period. So I hunkered down, told Stephanie to stop the blind dates for now because I had to focus on that. She respected my wishes and, other a text here or there, we went low contact for the last two months before the exam.
Except for one fateful night in September. Her birthday was in September and she always threw these big bashes at her house. She would throw a big pool party that started around noon and would go on to the wee hours of the morning. I knew she would harass me to go to her party, so I made some quick math and figured I would lose more energy and time trying to dodge her calls, texts and most likely visits at my place than by just going to the party itself. So when she called me to ask, I just said: "Okay I'll go to your damn party, now git." I texted her I would get there in the evening probably around 8. She texted back "Great, can't wait. Now study, bitch!"
So I ultimately get there around 8PM. Basically everybody is already drunk off their gourd. Stephanie sees me, squeals in excitement and runs to me in her bikini and just jumps in the air and slams into me, wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and gives me a big hug. I hug her back and just keep walking back to the pool where she had started, carrying her with me. I just duck my head around hers and say hi to Stephen, who just glares at me.
She drops back down and I give her her gift. We chat for a few seconds and says "There's beer in the fridge and food in the dining room." I told her I'd be right back.
I go inside and grab a beer from the fridge. I head to the dining room and the table is against the wall with a buffet of sandwiches, tomato pizza, salads, etc. I grab a plate and start putting food on it. I was focused on the task because I was starving. I barely noticed, sitting at the end of the table one of the most stunning woman I have ever seen. I just see her in my peripheral vision and I do a quick double take, quick glance at her and back to the food. I do that a second time. And finally a third time. At that point she is just straight up staring at me and I can't help but chuckle and whisper under my breath "Subtle Guy, sub-tle".
Thankfully she starts laughing too, saving me some embarassment. I look at her and greet her. She says "Hi, I'm Maryse and I'm guessing you're Guy?" I just nod and we start talking. At that point, I just thought I have no shot with her, she's so far out of my league that I'm just gonna talk to her until she sees one of the "models" hanging out by the pool and ditches me for him.
So I'm not feeling like I'm playing for anything, so I'm just myself and not nervous, just talking to her as I would any friend. We chat and she laughs at all my jokes, she gets all my cultural references. She never gets up or ditches me. The plate of food I had made and the beer I had gotten are sitting on the table next to me untouched, I was too busy with the convo to think about food or beer anymore.
After what felt like only 20-30 minutes, Stephanie comes in and tells me, fake grumpy: "So that's where you disappeared to. I invite my best friend to a party and he spends the whole night talking to someone else." I laugh and go: "What do you mean the whole night? I haven't been here that long." She says "Dude, it's 2AM. You've been here for 6 hours..." My jaw dropped and I just said: "Wow, time flies when you're having fun." Maryse chimes in, with a big smile: "It sure does!" That made me happy as you can imagine.
Now I was a little stuck because where Stephanie lived, there's no night service for the bus and the subway had been closed for an hour or so. I figured I would cab it. So I turn to Maryse and tell her: "It was absolutely lovely to meet you and I enjoyed our conversation very much." She says that she did too. I continued with "At the moment, my schedule is incredibly hectic. I'm basically working full-time, studying full-time and sleeping part-time. So I don't have a lot of free time, but if she was interested, whatever little free time I had, I would love to call her or text her to keep on getting to know her."
I see Stephanie in the backgroudnd, looking like a proud mama at how smooth that came out, knowing I was always anything but smooth with women, as proven by the string of blind dates! Maryse has a big smile and we exchange numbers. I go to Stephanie to wish her a happy birthday again. While I'm talking to her, my phone buzzes with a text from Maryse: "Just checking!"
I asked Stephanie "What's the best cab company to call in this area?" Maryse chimes in: "Where do you live?" I tell her where I lived and she goes "It's on the way to where I live, I can give you a ride if you want." Stephanie raised an eyebrow in surprise. I learned later, she did it because it absolutely was not on the way to her place, like, at all. I say that I would love that as it would give us a chance to keep talking.
We get in her car, driving to my place. We talk, she asks me what I'm studying as I hadn't mentioned it earlier. I tell her all about the boring maths I had to study. Much too quickly, we get to my place. She parks in front of my building and we keep talking. At some point, I tell her: "Normally, this is where I would try to "trick" you into coming up to my place..." She interrupts me: "You wouldn't need to trick me. I'm willing and able!"
I tell her that "As tempting as that sounds, I know who I am and I know that if you come up and things proceed to where they're going, I'm not going to be able to study for the rest of the month. I have a kind of obsessive mind and when I find someone or something I like, I can push everything else to the side in favor of that. So to make sure I can still focus on my studying, I have to go up by myself."
She looks at me, a little disappointed but then says, half-jokingly: "We don't have to go up, there's a backseat right there!" We laugh and I give her a kiss and wish her a good night. I managed to stay strong and go back to my condo. Damn it, why did I have to stay strong!!!
My exam was at the beginning of november. During the month of october, we texted a bunch of times and talked on the phone. We went for coffee a couple of times and dinner once. She respected my boundaries and never pushed for more, which I appreciated but also hated at the same time, if that makes sense. The exam came and it was a monster of a Friday. I slept for basically 18 hours after the exam as the adrenalin dropped and my system crashed.
I texted her when I woke up at around 1PM. She was working at the clothing store Stephanie owned. She said "I'm off at 5PM, wanna meet me." I said: "Duh! Why do you think I'm texting? ;)" So I met her at the store downtown. I asked if she wanted to grab a drink, go for dinner, or what. She proposed going to her place and getting some take out. Stephanie who was closing the store at that moment, came up to us and said: "Hey, so what are we doing?" I said: "WE, that is Maryse and I, are going to her place and getting some takeout. Bye!" I'm sure you'll understand when I tell you that no food was ever ordered that night!
Thus followed a whirlwind month of November where any free time we had was spent together, and I wasn't going to complain!
The troubles
By the start of december, things were still going great with us. One saturday night, we were having dinner at a restaurant and I mention that this coming Friday is my office Christmas party, that it's employees only, so we wouln't see each other that night. She tells me: "Oh sure, that's fine! It'll give me a chance to go see some girlfriends I've been neglecting lately." I said "Great! BTW I also got us a reservation at [this great restaurant she had mentioned a few times] for next Saturday, so we could go there and I'll tell you all about my party and you can tell me all about her night with the girls!"
That was settled, I thought. I was wrong. On Thursday, we had spent the evening together at her place and I was about to leave to go back to my place. She tells me: "So are you coming to meet me at the store tomorrow or do I go to your place?" I reminded her: "Neither, tomorrow is my office Christmas party and we won't see each other tomorrow." She said: "Oh right, I forgot." I asked her if she had made plans with her friends like she had mentioned last saturday. She said that they were all busy tomorrow and weren't available.
She suggested "If your party is boring, maybe you could come meet me." I retorted that it wasn't going to be, knowing who was going to be there.
"Yeah but what if?"
"But it won't"
"But what IFFFFFF?" she kept insisting and I kept saying no. After what felt like 30 minutes of that (probably only 2-3 minutes in reality), I had enough and just said to end the argument: "Okay, if it's boring, I'll come. but it won't be." She said: "Cool" with a big smile on her face. I came to learn that that smile meant "Challenge accepted".
The following night, my colleague and I were pregaming in a conference room before leaving for the party proper and my phone buzzes. Maryse was wishing me a good party. I replied. She texted me again. I replied. She texted again, but I was in a conversation with a colleague so I didn't reply or even look at the phone. My phone buzzes again. Still talking, and didn't want to be rude to my colleague. Another buzz. I just kept talking. Phone buzzes differently, she was now calling because I hadn't answered her texts.
"Why aren't you replying to my texts?"
"Hey, sorry, was talking to my colleague Patrick."
"What? you don't want to talk to me?"
"I am talking to you now."
"Why didn't you reply to my texts?"
"Because it would have been rude to my colleague to pull my phone out while talking to him."
"But you're talking to me now."
"Because I thought something was wrong, maybe it was an emergency."
"I wanted to talk to you, that's all."
"Well, gotta go back to the party. Talk to you later."
She kept texting and if I didn't reply right away, she would call after two or three missed texts. After about 2 hours of this, I stopped answering the texts. When she called back, I asked her: "Aren't you supposed to be working?" which started another round of guilt-tripping of "why are you asking me this? you don't want to talk to me?" At that point I had had enough and wanted to enjoy my party. I remembered that the Blackberry (no shaming old tech!) I had had an annoying feature, but I was hoping to put it to good use at that moment.
Whenever the battery would get really low, like less than 1%, it would let out an ear-piercing BEEP for about 3 seconds, reminiding you to charge it and giving you a heart attack all at the same time. It would do that even when you were in silent mode. It had happened a few days earlier when I was with Maryse. I figured, if I press a button on the Blackberry, it would make a beep too that could be heard through the phone. So while I was talking to Maryse, I pressed my thumb on the space bar for a good 3 seconds and sputtered; "what... the .... what?" trying to put on a somewhat believable performance.
She asked what that noise was and I tell her that it was my blackberry letting me know I was low battery and it might shut off any second. I told her "Listen I'm gonna wish you a good night, I'm having a good time at my party so I'll see you tomorrow at 5PM to go spend our evening together. I hope you have a good....." and hung up mid-sentence. I promptly shut my phone off and went back to the party. I concede that I may be a bit of an AH for that move.
The party was great, I got drunk much quicker than I expected owing to the fact that I hadn't had a drink in over two months because Maryse didn't drink so I didn't either when we were together, and we were always together. At 1AM, I went home and passed out on my bed.
This is another place where I may have been an AH. I didn't turn my cell phone back on and I unplugged my home line too, because I wanted to sleep the deep sleep of the drunkard. I woke up at around 1:30 PM, not knowing it was already too late. In my mind, I was meeting Maryse at 5PM to go out on the town that night. Maryse had other ideas as you'll see.
So like I said, I woke up at 1:30PM and was sticky with alcohol sweat, so I went straight for the shower to get clean again. While in the shower, my stomach grumbled with hunger and I started daydreaming of bacon and eggs. That pushed me out of the shower right quick. I dried myself off quickly, tied the towel around my waist and went to the fridge. No bacon.... booo. Looked at the egg compartment... no eggs... booo again. Okay then, how about a cream cheese bagel. No cream cheese, damn it. Look in the pantry, no bagels.... god. I was starting to get angry. Okay, cereals then. I pick up the cereal box, that mofo was empty and I get mad: "who's the idiot who puts the empty box back in the pantry?" I remembered I live alone.
I close the fridge dejected and see the grocery list stuck on the fridge, taunting me with everything I wanted to eat for breakfast written on it. But I felt like if I went to the grocery store hungry as I Was, I'm just gonna pay 600$ and not get one single healthy thing to eat. I then remembered there's a restaurant next to the grocery store that serves breakfast until 3PM. I get excited! I get dressed quickly, grab my wallet and keys, put my boots on, my coat on, wrap my scarf, my tuque and my gloves and go to the restaurant. If you notice, I didn't mention my phone in there.
I get to the restaurant and confirm that they still have breakfast and get even more excited when she confirms it. I order the "heart attack", at least that's how I nicknamed it: 3 eggs, 3 servings of bacon, 2 sausages, and, I guess to give one peace of mind, fruit (or to be precise, one single solitary slice of orange). Now that the food is ordered and coming I figured I would check if I have any messages. I pat the pocket where my phone always is. No phone. uh-oh. I start clutching evert pocket, no luck.
I wonder if I should go back home after the meal before going to the grocery store and decide against it, it would be too long a detour. So I scarf my breakfast down, rush through the grocery store. I get home and set my bags down in front of the fridge. I go pick up my blackberry. I turn it back on. The little tape icon tells me there are messages on my voicemail, at that time there were no red dots with a number in it to tell you how many.
I connect to the voicemail while starting to put the groceries away. The little automated voice tells me "You have 25 new messages." I pull the phone away from my ear, look at it in disbelief as if saying: "are you f'ing kidding me?" So I press 1 to start playing the messages.
Remember: Maryse knew I was at a party with a dead phone, no chargers and I probably wouldn't get home until 1AM. From 6:30PM, when my phone died, to 11:34 PM, when she went to sleep she left me 9 messages. BTW I know she went to sleep at 11:34PM because she left me a message saying "it's 11:34PM and I'm going to bed. Thinking of you." The 9 messages were in the same vein. These are the salient details, but the messages were all much longer.
She woke up at 7:15 the following day, I'll let you guess how I know that tidbit of information! She left me 5 more messages like those from the day before: 7:15 woke up. 7:35 going to take a shower. 7:55 out of the shower. 8:25 getting ready to leave for work 8:50 walking out of the subway to go to the store.
She leaves me another message at 9 that was different. She sounded very excited as if she had had the best idea in the world: "Hey it's 9AM, I'm about to start my shift. I know we're only supposed to meet after my shift, but what if you came and met me for lunch so you could tell me all about your party." I just did my best Scooby-Doo "Ruh-Roh" and chuckled that I blew that, not thinking the calamity that was awaiting me.
Another couple of messages to talk logistics: "I could take my lunch at 12 or 12:30, let me know which you prefer." "I'm taking my lunch at 12:30"
A slightly worried message: "It's 11:15 and you stil have not said if you were coming or not, are you okay?"
The first bomb goes off and I knew I was in trouble then: "Where are you? We're supposed to meet for lunch and you still haven't given me any sign of life, you're not answering your home phone either, what happened?" Reminder: we were not supposed to meet for lunch, she suggested doing so a couple of hours earlier and I never agreed to anything. I guess she told her colleagues I would meet her for lunch and it was now fact and could perhaps make her look bad in front of her colleagues.
The second bomb drops: "It's almost noon now, WHERE ARE YOU? Stephanie says you're probably sleeping off your drunk, but I don't believe her. I'm sure you got yourself a slut and cheated on me. Didn't you? didn't you, you asshole." Stephanie knows me very well, but that wasn't enough for Maryse it seems.
Ensued four more messages from 12:30 to 1:15, where she starts sounding more and more drunk and accusatory, spewing more attacks like in the message above. At that point I already knew it was over, there was no coming back from that. I can understand having trust issues, but that was nuclear. I don't tolerate jealousy because of horrible experiences with a couple of jealous toxic exes.
A final message comes in, and it's a different voice, that of my best friend being more than a little angry: "Hey Guy, listen, Maryse tells me you had a Christmas party yesterday, so I'm guessing you're sleeping off your drunk, still. But call me when you get this. I put Maryse, who's f'ing drunk, in the backstore so she can dry off and "do inventory". She can't be on the sales floor obviously and I just don't feel safe sending her home in the state she's in. Call me to tell me how you want to handle this."
At that point I had finished putting away my groceries and had put my boots and my coat on and was making my way to the subway to go to the store. I call Stephanie and tell her I got the messages and I was coming. She was right, I was sleeping off my drunk and had just woke up (didn't feel the need to mention the breakfast and grocery store). I ask her if she knows what I'm gonna do when I get there. She says that she knows and understands. She knows my bad history.
When I get out of the subway, I call her again before getting to the store. I ask her how she wants me to do this. It's her store and I don't want to create drama in front of her customers. Does she want me to wait outside and she tells Maryse to meet me in the street or do I go in the store and she takes me to the backstore and I do it there? She says to come to the store.
I walk in the store and every saleswomen on the floor looks at me and gives me the biggest case of the stink-eye. They only have Maryse's side of the story, so they think I did all these horrible things. I see Stephanie in the middle of the store and I walk towards her. She shakes her head and points me towards the cash register. I look over there and see Julia, a salesperson that I've known for a couple of years and really like, who also happens to be the biggest gossip in the store. I understand what Stephanie is trying to do. She's gonna make me tell her my story in front of Julia so Julia can spread the "good news" to the other employees and rehabilitate my name possibly.
So I get to the register and say Hi to Julia. She barely acknoledges me. Steph joins me. She asks me:
"How are you?"
"I was better an hour ago, before I listened to those voicemails. I had gone to our office party last night, had a great night, got drunk off my ass, got home at around 2 and woke up around 2."
Julia asks "Maryse told us you were supposed to meet her for lunch."
"No we weren't. I have a reservation for tonight at XYZ restaurant. I was supposed to take the day to do errands, stuff around the condo and meet her here at closing time. She suggested that it could be fun if I came at lunchtime to meet her, but that was never the plan."
Julia asks again "But why didn't you answer your phone?"
"It ran out of battery last night during the party and when I got home, I was so drunk that I forgot to plug it back in. I only plugged it when I woke up at 2. That's when the messages came in."
Julia asks "She says she tried calling your home line and you didn't answer and your machine didn't kick in."
"Yeah, that one's my fault, I knew I wanted to sleep and telemarketers have a habit of calling me early saturday mornings so I didn't want to be awoken by a call for a rug cleaning service, so I unplugged it yesterday morning, knowing I would be drunk when I got home and forget and be angry if I was awakened by a telemarketer."
Julia gave me a hint of a smile, showing me she was starting to believe me. She asked me a few more questions and then she asked what I was gonna do. I told her that whatever I'll do, I would tell Maryse first.
I looked at Stephanie and said: "Can you open the back store so I can go see her?" So we went to the backstore. As we reached the door, it swung opened and out popped Maryse, looking absolutely terrifying, I actually jumped back when I saw her. Her usual perfect makeup was completely smeared, her mascara streaking down her cheeks from the crying. Her hair was disheveled. She was a mess. Apparently, she had had enough of waiting back there and was planning on leaving the store to go home and had put her coat and boots on.
When she saw me, she went into an unhinged rant about me being an asshole for cheating on her, me not being great in bed, me not treating her right, etc. I let her vent everything she had to say, I looked at Stephanie and apologized for creating such a scene in her store. I tell Maryse we should go outside and talk in private. She keeps on yelling, but when I grab her hand to lead her outside, she follows.
When we get outside, her anger had started to wane a little, or maybe just her energy. I was able to talk to her to explain everything, how I had gotten drunk, had overslept (alone) and woke up at 2PM. I reminded her that we were only supposed to meet at 5PM not for lunch. The anger was leaving her and a smile almost appeared on her face. Through all of this I was being very calm and patient with her, which she interpreted as me not being mad at her. I then said in a firmer tone: "However..." and let it hang for a second.
The beginning smile vanished. I continued: "When you accused me of cheating on you, that broke me. That triggered memories of toxic exes who would always accuse me of cheating, not trusting me when I would tell them where I was, snooping on me, stalking me. Because of those experiences, I have a zero tolerance policy for jealousy. I told her that if she was behaving like after only two months of dating, it didn't bode well for the future and I have to protect myself."
At that, the tears started again and she just turned and ran/waddled away. I told her to wait, but she didn't hear me. I turned towards the entrance of the store to see basically all the employees and customers milling around the door trying to catch the drama. I went back inside to talk to my best friend. The mood had definitely changed and no one was giving me the stink eye anymore, but I didn't really care. I was just sad that it had ended, but proud of myself for having stood up for myself.
So AITA for getting drunk and keeping my phone turned off?
There is a lot more to this story and if you want to learn what happened afterwards, then read on.
The immediate aftermath
So I went back inside the store and talked to Stephanie. I told her that I had a reserrvation for XX restaurant and if she wanted to go with Stephen, she could take it, I wasn't in the mood for a dinner. She said "I already have plans for tonight, but thanks for offering." Julia said she would go with me if I wanted, but I just said that I wasn't in the mood to go out. I just wanted to crash and eat a pizza and get into a food coma.
Stephanie said she didn't feel comfortable leaving me by myself and I should join them at her house. They were having friends over to play board games and it could at least distract me a little. I said why not. So brimming with enthusiasm, I went to play bored games. I left early as I wasn't in the mood. I was feeling a little better, but still a bit down. I thanked Stephanie for the invite and left. I got home and just passed out on the bed.
I woke up at around 7AM the next morning and I saw along the corners of the window the tell-tale signs of a snow-drift and got excited as it was the first snow of the season. I pushed the curtains aside and looked on to see a beautiful white carpet outside. It was early enough that very few cars had marred the whiteness. I was admiring it when I noticed that, against the red bricks of the building across the street, there was a pink blotch. As I focused, the blotch became human shaped and I cleared my eyes enough to realize that it was Maryse and she was raising her cell phone to her ear.
On cue, my phone rings. I pick it up. Still sounding drunk, she asks me if we can speak. I ask her to give me five minutes to get dressed and I'll meet her down there. She asks why she can't come up. I say that I'm not sure I want her in my apartment. She says that it's cold out. I say: "Good, then this will be quick."
I get dressed and meet her outside. I'm still bleary-eyed from having woken up 5 minutes ago, but I try to get my wits together. I tell her that we're going to walk to the subway. It 's a 10-minute walk normally, but with her drunkenness, it might take 15-20 minutes. That's how long she has to tell me what she wants to tell me.
She wants to apologize for accusing me of cheating on her. She says she knows I'm a great guy and... I may be the A-hole at this point too, but I start to drift off in my little bubble and start daydreaming about, if I go back to bed, would there still be some residual heat or would it be cold? I could take a hot shower and warm the bed that way. I could still hear her in the background making excuses, saying how she had been cheated on, but I wasn't really listening.
During the daydreaming I notice it got quite quiet. I look on my left and she's not there, I turn around she's a good 5-6 steps behind me looking angry and she says: "you're not listening" I just say: "when you're right, you're right." I tell her that I understand she's been hurt too in the past, and I hope she can work to resolve her issues, but I was done and I'm going back to bed. I was a bit harsh there, but I was tired and still down.
I walk past her and get maybe 10 paces past her when I hear a scream coming from her. I turn around and I see her messing with something inside her coat. She pulls out a chef's knife with like an 8-inch blade. That wakes me the fuck up. Byebye bleary eyes, hello wakefulness. better than a cup of coffee or a red bull I tell you!
So she's got the knife, she's screaming something that I can't quite understand. She gets quiet and then she charges at me with the knife. If I'm being honest I could have stayed where I was and she probably would have missed me anyways, but someone charges at me with a knife, I'm gonna nope out of there. I take a massive side step and once she gets to where I was and realizes that I'm no longer there, she turns her head towards me and says heyyyyy.
At that point, I have a moment of clarity and see what's gonna happen. She's drunk running one way and looking another, I know she's gonna trip. As I predicted, she stumbled over her feet and starts falling to the ground. I start praying to god and anybody who would listen: "Please don't let her cut herself. I don't want to have to explain this to the doctors, EMTs and nurses. I don't want her drunk ass deciding to take revenge on me by saying I did it."
Thankfully, she winds up in a sitting position on the sidewalk holding the knife up and it was clean. Thank god for small miracles. She starts crying and, other moment of clarity, I know she's gonna turn the knife on herself now. I jump towards her and I realize I was right, the knife starts moving towards her left wrist. I tackle her, grab her right wrist and twist it so she drops the knife. I pick the knife back up and put it in my pocket. She looks at me crying and says: "Why did you stop me?"
I pick her up and take her back to my building. In my building there was a couch in the lobby, so I take her there and I sit her down and plop myself next to her. I look at her and wonder out loud: "What am I gonna do with you? What can I do?"
She goes: "Just let me go, I'll be good." I tell her that's not going to happen. I realize I have three options and I give her the three options.
"So here's the choice I give you.
1- I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted murder back there and they send the police to arrest you. I don't want to do that because that could derail your life and not get you the help you need. Besides, they might not do anything anyway as it's your word against mine.
2= I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted suicide back there and that you need to be placed on a 72 hour hold. I could do that, but at the same time, again it's my word against yours, so maybe they don't believe me.
3- I'm gonna hazard a guess here. From what I've seen, you have alcohol problems. So I'm gonna guess you were in AA, had been sober for a while, I want to say 6 months, maybe less, when we met."
She confirms my guess.
"alright so option 3, I'm guessing you had a sponsor in AA." she nods "we call them up and tell them about your relapse and what happened this morning. Can they come get you and take care of you?"
She takes her phone out and picks a contact and calls. She hands me the phone. Someone answers and I explain the situation. They said they were coming right away. I give them my address, they get here 15 minutes later. Maryse had fallen asleep in the meantime, so I wake her up gently and help her to the car. Off she went.
I went back to my apartment and just crashed back to sleep.
A month later
Mid-january, my phone rings and I see Maryse's number on there. I send her to voice mail. Another call. Voicemail again. 5 minutes later, Private number calling. "Gee I wonder who that could be." Voicemail once more.
Afterwards, I didn't get any unidentified callers for a little over a week. One afternoon, I was at work and my phone rings and it's a number I do not recognize. I pick up.
"Hello."
"Hi, is this Guy?"
"Yes, to whom am I speaking?"
"This is Hannah, Maryse's sponsor. we spoke last month." I started fearing the worst.
"Yes, I remember. How can I help you?"
"Maryse tried to reach you last week and you rejected the calls. I think it could help Maryse if you listened to what she had to say. You're obviously not obligated to entertain her, but I think despite everything that happened, you still care about her or you would not have called me that morning."
"You are right, I do still care about Maryse. I'm just not sure how good it would be for her to meet me this soon after everything that happened. I understand wanting to work through the 9th step and making amends, but..." She interrupts me.
"So you know about the steps."
"Yes I have friends in the program. which is how I could guess that she was in the program too that morning."
"You know it's important."
"I know. I know. How about this: we meet in public at a cafe, you would have to be there. Not necessarily at the table with us, but nearby in case she needs help, in case meeting me causes her pain. Tell her I promise to be in a more receptive mood than I was that morning."
So we make an appointment for that saturday afternoon.
I get to the coffee shop. She's already there, and so is her sponsor. I realize happily that she's not wearing makeup. I say happily because that means she understands that this is not a date, but something serious. She's still stunningly beautiful, and I feel sad almost right away.
I grab a coffee and go join her at the table.
"Hey" I say,
"Hey. So this is gonna be uncomfortable, but thank you for agreeing to meet me and for coming, I appreciate it more than you know. I'm sure you heard I quit the store."
"I have, I'm sorry about that, I hope you didn't do it just because of me."
"No, I needed time to focus on myself for now."
She proceeds to tell me about how I wasn't far off with my guess. She had been sober 4 months when we met. Now she had 39 days. She tells me that in AA, if you are single, they recommend not dating anyone new for at least the first year of your sobriety as it can cause issues, similar to what happened with us. I was like her "drug" and as long as I was available, she could get her fix. But the moment I wasn't available all hell broke loose, and that is what led her back to drinking that day.
I told her I'm glad to see her back sober again this quickly and I hope she can get all the help she needs from it. I ask her if she wants to talk to me about her drinking.
She starts to share a story about how she started drinking at around 11 years old. When puberty hit her, she got into a deep depression because the sexual feelings she was starting to feel were triggering responses. As a child she had been abused by two of her uncles repeatedly and her parents never believed her. They accused her of trying to make herself interesting. That was until they caught one of those uncles red-handed.
They finally believed and took the necessary steps to protect their daughter. But they were poor and they couldn't afford therapy. So she never really got help for it. At 11, she started self medicating the depression with alcohol. When alcohol wasn't enough, she added drugs.
At that point, I was full on crying. She asked me if I wanted her to stop. I told her that she doesn't have to stop. That the tears are there because that was one more thing we had in common. I was also a survivor of sexual assault as a child. In my case, it wasn't a family member, it was only a stranger, so it only happened once. But I also self-medicated with alcohol at the onset of puberty, switching to drugs later on too. I was lucky to avoid the pitfalls of addiction, but I was still dealing with my demons, slowly making peace with them.
So there we were, sitting at a coffee shop, both crying and holding each other. I tell her that I think it's great she's getting help for her alcoholism and addicion, but was she doing anything to help with the underlying issue, the original trauma? She said no, she couldn't afford therapy. I tell her that I am a member of a survivors group and if she is interested, I could get her into a meeting and perhaps learn to heal that part of herself too.
She said that she could give it a try. I tell her I have to talk to the other members to know if I can bring someone new and I would let her know. If they said yes, we would go to her first meeting together, I would introduce her and then we would coordinate so that I never went to meetings where she was. I wanted to do that because I wanted her first few meetings to be about healing and I didn't want our own history to be intertwined or mixed in with that.
After that, we left both feeling content and, while not necesarily happy, at peace if you will. Later on, I contacted Stephanie who was one of the "pillars" of the support group (that's how we met) to ask her if it was okay for me to bring in a new member to the group. She said sure. She asked if it was anyone she knew. I told her she would have to meet her at the meeting if she decides to come.
We were having a meeting the following day. I called Maryse, told her the time and place, and she said she would be there. She came to the group meeting and was shocked to see Stephanie there but Stephanie kinda guessed that it was Maryse I was referring to.
I introduce her, we start sharing stories, talking about how we're feeling, etc. The meeting was good and Maryse liked the vibe. So for the first six months after that, I never saw Maryse and we planned which meeting we would be attending to ensure we didn't cross paths. She started feeling much better.
After maybe 2 and a half years, she finally felt ready and she started dating again. She met someone and she fell for him. They were together for about six months, she looked happy. Unfortunately after about six months, she caught him cheating on her. We tried supporting her, being good friends, cursing his name, doing all the things we could to make sure she didn't relapse. But on April 5th 2014, she ODed on heroin. She was hospitalized for 2 weeks after that.
Hannah took her in and she set up a room for Maryse. She was still in a fragile state, so a group of her friends and I started taking turns watching over Maryse, making sure there was always at least one person there with her to keep her company.
Despite our vigilance, on May 14th 2014, when Hannah was out running a quick errand, she was gone maybe 15 minutes tops, Maryse found a way to cut her wrists and she died. We found a note saying that "the OD was not an accident, and neither was that. Thanks for everything you did for me. I love you all, but I can't do this anymore."
It feels good to write that story (I'll just ignore the fat tears rolling down my face!). Thanks for reading this far and sorry for the long story, I just started writing and couldn't stop. I apologize if it was a bit of a bummer.

My name was slandered SO badly by the quinte.ca news that it is literally criminal and VERY VERY messed up.
According to this article I am a Sex Predator and was trying to lure a 13 year old for sex using the internet.(!!!!!)
This is a long story so I’m going to do my best at condensing it so people actually read it.
This is what happened: With a fair amount of spare time on my hands I decided to do something that would create a positive, long lasting impact. I knew there had to be some real sex predators in a city this size so I decided to see if any ADULTS online were interested and fully follow through with preying on a minor. Less than a few minutes after creating a profile I was contacted by a Belleville Resident who indicated DIRECTLY to me that he was “ok” with the decoys age.

I told him my age was TWELVE. 

Within the first 5 minutes of the conversation. So for the next five days he was essentially grooming who he believed was 12 year old and attempting to meet him that upcoming weekend. At no time did I initiate or direct the conversation to move in the dirty direction. I wanted to not only provide as much solid evidence as possible for the police, but I was thinking forward to do the same for the future prosecution when this case ultimately reached the Court….( at least In my mind, this is what I was doing it for! )
Speaking to him about 45 minutes each day I was shocked at how this was actually happening. Shocked at how quickly, unaffected and confident he was to be luring a 12 year old to his apartment.
Most disturbing was the bits of information that was confessed to me. How he “had to be really careful” because he is already a registered sex offender due to being caught with another minor years ago, and how he “had multiple other people your age” in the past which he had never been caught for.
So obviously by the time I was aware of that I was Deadset at not only catching and exposing this creep but see to it that he gets his rightful spot back in a prison cell.

Make no mistake I took screenshots of EVERY message/text/conversations/photos. 

( I had taken photos of myself and used an age altering app which was procured freely from Apple. ) Upon his request I sent multiple Altered selfies over those five days in the various poses he was asking for. Obviously this was done to prove that the decoy was in fact “real”. Bam. That’s it. It was Friday and this registered sex offender “PDF File” was in FULL BELIEF and confident that a Minor was on the way to his apartment to “teach him” how to have sex.
I went just outside the meeting area a bit early and sat down with my Sony 500 video camera around my neck and was prepared to begin the video, capturing him as he went directly to the prearranged location. He was going with the quickness and attempting to hold back the huge shit eating grin on his face. Disgusting. Vile. True evil.
So I walked up to him while recording and made a call from my cellphone to his which I used to instantly tell him off the bat: “YOU’RE FKD!” Also by doing this at that moment I was putting him in a position (ON CAMERA mind you) which he had zero opportunity to deny anything.

Over the next 20-30 minutes He confessed to everything that was said during the conversations. Instead of me questioning him, initially I had told him to tell me exactly why he was there, and for him to tell me (the camera) everything that was in those terrible and unbelievable messages. 

I grilled him like a ribeye.
After having gathered what I believed to be enough evidence and having him vocally express ( One more and last time) directly to the camera why he was there at that precise moment and what it was he had expected to go down that day in his apartment, I decided to end recording, and leave.
With my adrenaline pumping, I left. Forgetting to do what could’ve been the most important thing, not for exposing him or the Court, but for ME. . . Call the cops. I called them about 10 minutes into the walk back to my home. I told the Officer everything that had just happened. Including the prior five days leading up to this event. I was praised for doing what I had done by this Officer but was informed that the “Detective” responsible for this “crime category” was already off duty and wouldn’t be returning until Monday.
On Monday I received a phone call from that Officer and TRIED to explain everything. It was like I was speaking another language to him. He REPEATEDLY tried to change what I was telling him. For example; I explained how I was the decoy and that there did NOT EXIST AN ACTUAL MINOR involved here, and then he would say: “so you and this sex offender ‘hooked up’ and tried to get a ‘13’ year old over to HIS house” !!!!! It was if he was Trolling. He simply could not, or did not WANT TO understand what happened. “It’s like a STING OPERATION” I finally said to him. I told him this guys name and where he lived. I even knew his birthdate from the convos with the Decoy. So this “detective” in charge of investigating a very serious category of crime in this city KNEW that this predator is a Registered Sex Offender. He KNEW that I was in possession of a litany of irrefutable evidence. Yet was totally incompetent and put me down as Suspect #1 from the start. For not a single reason. He denied my requests to come down and SHOW HIM THE FRICKIN’ EVIDENCE. He did not even want to see the video confession!!! Nothing happened. He said it was now an “open case” and I had a case number. Deflated. Flabbergasted. I was [again] in shock. After weeks of waiting, I ended up putting the entire video of sicko confessing and me grilling him on YouTube. My genuine motive from the start was to make a positive impact on the community. To potentially stop a child from being victimized by a predator. I felt let down the police response. Little did I know what was to come SIX months later. The cops raided the house I was living in.
I was immediately handcuffed and told that I was arrested for “LURING A MINOR” !!!! I was literally paralyzed. With at LEAST HALF A DOZEN POLICE OFFICERS AND AN EQUALLY UNNECESSARILY LARGE AMOUNT OF SUVS PARKED ON THE DRIVEWAY, LAWN, AND ONE OF THE BUSIEST ROADS IN THE CITY. RED AND BLUES FLASHING ON ALL OF THEM. W h a t . T h e . F o c k ! ? ! They went up to my neatly organized room and searched it over discovering of course nothing but my phone. Snatching it with a joy like they had just successfully done something significant. I had 5-7 cops surrounding me in a semi circle after arriving at the Jail as I prepared to go inside a cell. They even shackled my feet. I know from watching cops and the like on YouTube to always exercise the right to remain silent. There was nothing I could do or say at that point which would help and I definitely didn’t resist the arrest so it really must’ve been a slow day. Eh guys? That and/or the overly incompetent rookie had relayed to his colleagues and obviously his Superiors to get the raid and arrest warrant his own personal story that he had recreated. Unfriggenbelieveable! It’s SO ABSURD THERE IS NO PROPER WORDS TO EXPRESS HOW IT FEELS TO GO THROUGH THIS! Doing something I considered not just “Right”, but Honourable, Justified, and definitely NOT illegal! How the hell did a JUDGE sign an arrest AND RAID Warrant on me with ZERO evidence, physical, concrete, or even circumstantial?? Not a single reason lawfully or otherwise for them to raid, arrest, shackle my feet and throw me in a jail cell for hours, and then criminally charge me with “Luring of a Minor”. Evidently, according to this news article the police had conducted a Six Month Investigation. Huh? Of What?! On Who?!
Now, Finally, The News Article: The information printed in any news article requires a source, so all of this information had to have only been provided by the police department. This article was printed at 9 in the morning the very next day of the arrest and raid. So of course this was all information provided from police.

This is what the dumbass, rookie, ignorant cop fabricated for no actual real reason: 

“Two men were arrested yesterday after a Six Month long Investigation revealed that the men had ‘BOTH’ believed that they were speaking with a ‘13’ year old boy online. Registered sex offender (the real predators name) and another known sex offender ( my name) are each charged with Luring of a Minor. (Real predators name again) is also charged with using an electronic device to lure a Minor, and breach of probation.”

My LandLord happened to be home at the time of the Raid, and he had also (I guess being suspicious after the raid,) read the article online which is quoted directly above. 

Which meant that he would be evicting me from the property, and I can’t blame him. With that article being read by my roommates and hisself I can’t really blame him for that either.
The charges against myself were eventually dropped, of course. About 18 months later! My phone being confiscated in the raid in order to access everything on there was also given back to me. They played immature and unprofessional games with that as well; returning my property. Such as : come in this day, your phone is ready to be released now. Show up. “Oh so and so thought it was ready but we don’t have it yet.” Weeks later. Get another call saying it is in fact ready now. Show up. “There is no one working in the evidence locker today, there will be in two days.” Screw them! I show up ten days late and what do you know? My property is actually there for me, and I finally get it back. Of course having had to purchase new phone in the meantime. Worse yet, I can’t recall the password and it was before facial recognition (not like that would matter) and after the fingerprint touch button. So it’s just a brick now.
That’s the least of my concern, as that bullshit article remains up, and the YouTube video had been taken down for some privacy violation nonsense.
After paying the criminal defence attorneys’ invoice(s), I couldn’t afford the 6K being asked by EVERY attorney I had reached out to.
So there, that’s one of many of my Unbelievably Insane Life’s stories. I suppose I didn’t provide the short version. Even though I have sincerely tried to keep it all to a minimum by leaving out plenty of details and significant events, this ended up being the Mid Length version.

"Golden rules" about buying cheap flights, like booking domestic flights 57 days before the departure date, are no longer valid, as there has been a huge shift in the travel industry in what days were thought the cheapest to booking flights. If a study has not been conducted recently, or only one year ago, do not put too much faith in it; there's no reason to worry about booking a flight far in advance. The stellar tips below are current.
Check airlines which don't appear on 3rd party websitesOne of the major weaknesses of Internet search engines is that they frequently will not display the flights of all airlines such as Southwest, Frontier, and Allegiant. To solve this problem, use a free resource like Wikipedia to learn which of these airlines operates a certain airport. Visit Wikipedia, go to their airport page, and search for a section called "Airlines and destinations." You are advised to locate a list of each airline that flies to that airport as well as all the nonstop destinations that airport operates. So, once you become aware of any carriers which did not show up in your first searches, you could now look for flights straight on the airlines' sites.Search one-way & round-trip flightsOnce upon a time the majority of round-trip flights were cheaper than booking two one-way airfare flights. That's no longer the situation today. For instance, Southwest and Jetblue set their prices for their flights on a one-way basis; and a round-trip flight is only the sum of the 2 one-way rates. So, you'll want to check one-way flight rates to ensure you buy the best round-trip deal by pairing two one-way flight tickets, probably on two different carriers.Look for one seat at a timeThere exists a virtually unknown quirk in how carriers price seats which could result in greater prices if searching for many passengers as opposed to a single ticket. Airlines put their inventory in fare classes, or called buckets, which are not always obviously visible to customers. For instance, there may be just three seats left in a fare bucket for $300 each, and the next higher bucket may be $400 for each ticket. But, if you happen to look for four seats, each one would end up falling into the $400 fare bucket.Search alternate airportsAt times the cost of a certain flight is extremely high that it could be a good idea to use your second or even third choice of airports. For instance, you perhaps are aware of the New York area's 3 biggest airports: New York-JFK, Newark (EWR), and New York-LaGuardia. But did you know that Stewart (SWF), Westchester (HPN), and Long Island McArthur (ISP) are also in the region? Several airlines permit you to look for all airports in a region by just specifying the destination as the city itself rather than a certain airport. The ITA Matrix tool is also a great way to look for close by if you do not know the area too well, and Google Flights offers a "Nearby airports" option to assist in this search, too.Don't always travel directBeing flexible with your route you'll be flying is another way to find a cheap flight. For instance, at times it's cheaper to travel to London and use a budget airline to Amsterdam instead of flying directly to Amsterdam from the actual departure city.To utilize this approach, learn how much it costs to fly directly to the target destination. Next, open Google Flights, type in the destination's details like country name to see the rates to nearby airports. If the difference happens to exceed $150 dollars, find out how much it actually is to fly from the 2nd airport to the main destination.Leverage elite statusAlthough having elite status will not allow you to book flights at a discount, you still could use it to save money another way. But with elite status with the majority of airlines let you to standby for earlier flights or perform same-day verified flight modifications. This can permit you to buy a discounted airline flight at an awful time, only to modify it to the flight you really want but at no extra charge. Even without elite status, the charge to standby or make a same-day verified flight modification might be less than the airfare difference between the flight you truly want and the lowest option that day.Use the correct credit cardThe right credit card may very well provide you major savings on flight tickets in a number of various ways. For instance, The Platinum Card from American Express now offers 5x points on all airline bookings made directly with the carrier or with Amex travel, worth 10 cents each dollar spent, based on TPG's recent valuations. That card in addition offers the International Airfare Program, providing cardholders discounts for premium class flights on certain airlines.Search for free hotels and stopover toursWhenever an airline imposes a lengthy layover because of its very tight schedule, the airline will usually offer a free STPC, or stopover paid by carrier, which can include a free tour or hotel room as well.
Don't mind the mythsThe initial and main fact to know whenever locating a cheap flight is there exists no magic trick for achieving this objective. There are however a ton of myths floating online about certain ways to seek cheap flights. Without doubt, you must have run into a lot of them while searching for the best flight deals.Airline companies use advanced technology like computers and pricing algorithms for determining flight prices and offer deals based on various factors like time of the year, weather, time of day, passenger demand, fuel prices, competitor prices, and others. These myths and similar ones will lead you astray. Be flexible in respect to your travel times & datesAirline flight rates vary a lot depending on upcoming holidays, day of the week, and time of the year. August is a major month for flying to Europe, and plenty of people are planning to travel somewhere hot during winter or fly while the kids are taking a break from school.In summation, if you're traveling when everyone is also flying, then logically your flight price will be higher.Flexibility is everything for cheap plane tickets & cheap flight dealsThe more flexible you are, you'll get better cheap flight deals you can book. Here's a new way of doing things: Instead of deciding where to go next, choosing dates, and then searching for the cheap plane tickets to certain destinations on those particular dates, consider first selecting your destination and dates based on the best going deals available. By exercising greater flexibility where you travel and the specific dates you fly, you will have a far better opportunity to find cheaper airfare.Book first, think later for cheap flight finder cancellationTake complete advantage of the free 24-hour cancellation window while purchasing flights. Because of the Department of Transportation's strict regulations, any cheap flight booked to or from the United States could be canceled without worry of incurring a penalty, for 24 hours after the flight's reservation; it must be booked no less than one week before the flight's departure. Yes, it's a very good idea to use a cheap flight finder these days. What this means is that if you buy a flight and the ticket price drops within 24 hour window, you could cancel the original flight and purchase the new, less expensive one.Warning: the 24-hour rule can only work for flights directly bought with the airline or with booking engines such as Priceline.Set a price alert for all cheap flight ticketsYou can choose emails or push notices to your cell phone which will tell you exactly when the flight you are interested in has increased or decreased in price. This may be a great way for getting the best possible price on all cheap flight tickets in the near future. You can do this on the majority of search travel sites and OTAs. Why miss out on potential easy savings? You can then always locate flight tickets cheap when you need them.Buy in foreign currency to get cheap flight ticketBecause regular fliers travel abroad now and then, you could switch the currency on the airline's website to determine if the price would be listed in other monies.You can save big this way. For example, if an airline increased the flight price in US dollars but not in Indian rupee, you could book flights at half the price! But this may require altering either the location or language on the airline's website; or you may change to the home country's URL, where ticket prices are generally cheapest by searching in its local currency. This is how you can in fact find cheap flight ticket to wherever you like to travel.Sign up for an airline's travel rewards credit card for cheap flight bookingOne of the smartest ways to take full advantage from travel credit cards is to use the hefty sign-up bonuses. For example, if you sign up for a new travel card when the airline is offering unusually high quantity of bonus miles, you could score yourself literally thousands of dollars worth of reward points by just opening the card.Although several of these travel cards could have higher annual fees, a big sign-up bonus may amount for months or even years worth of cheap flight booking for you and your whole family.The cheapest day to book flightsEven though you might see great deals flashing on your computer screen for international airfare three to six months out, if you are flying during peak times, or perhaps your plans are not very flexible, it's smart to begin searching sooner. The cheapest day to book flights actually evades many flyers.This does not automatically mean you ought to purchase tickets when hitting the 6-month window; hold on till you book cheap flights online. And, just ignore the old advice that travel experts often repeat regarding booking the cheapest flights at 3:00 a.m. on Tuesday; that used to be true but now airfare prices are updated often and great deals could pop up any given moment when least expected. So, now you can secure a flight cheap most of the time.Utilize momondo to book cheap flight air ticketsUpon finding what you imagine to be the cheapest flight wherever, try searching on Momondo; it will search dozens of OTAs; bear in mind that it may not display the cheapest fares seen on large OTAs and Google Flights. But you got a greater chance to find cheap air tickets sooner this way. Otherwise, only one cheap air ticket may be attained, if tried another manner. Now you too can enjoy when you book cheap flight tickets when you need them.Fly cheap during the low seasonHave you ever scanned flight prices from the USA to Europe's insanely popular cities in August? 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She said: "We saved $300 per ticket around Thanksgiving for our family of four by flying out the Saturday before Thanksgiving and coming back the Saturday after. Not everyone can swing that with their work schedules, so my advice is to leave Thanksgiving day and return on Saturday for cheaper fares."Begin with a reputable flight search engine to find cheapest international flightsWhile searching for a flight, the initial thing you will wish to do is determine which airlines run a certain route and get an estimated price on the biggest carriers. Opposed to individually visiting all of these airlines' sites, begin by looking for a website which will provide results from many airlines and different combinations of carriers. You may end up with the cheapest international flights this way. So, you could start with Expedia or another such as Orbitz, Hotwire, Travelocity, and Cheap Tickets. Do not ignore Google Flights, which, though a very powerful search engine, know that it's not a booking platform and can't buy a flight ticket there. This is how you could find cheapest flights to many popular locations.Be flexible where you go to book discount flightsIf for some reason or another you cannot be flexible with the time factor of your flight, then try to be flexible with your destinations. It's ideal to be both. However, you still can save a lot of money and book discount flights by being flexible with either factor.You don't have to conduct manual searches, going city by city and day by day. Websites such as Google Flights, Skyscanner, and Momondo provide explore tools and permit you to add your nearest airport and see a world map with all the possible flights on it. This helps you to quickly compare many destinations with no need to brainstorm each potential option.Fly budget airlines/carriersMany years ago, you were generally stuck flying with traditional costly airlines. That's not true anymore. Budget airlines today service both short and medium-haul routes all over the world. For example, AirAsia provides incredible cheap flight deals around Australia and Asia for less than $150 dollars! Indian and Middle Eastern air carriers sell cheap flight tickets throughout Africa and the subcontinent.Book early: how to find the cheapest flightsYou can discover how to find the cheapest flights by booking early. Although flight rates continue climbing the nearer you get to departure, there exists a great spot along the way when airline companies start to reduce or increase flight prices based on demand. Do not wait till the last moment but do not book too far in advance. The ideal time to buy your flight ticket is about 2 to 3 months prior to your departure, or even about 5 months prior if you're flying there in their peak season.

I was walking from my bus stop and was literally a minute away from home when i got approached by this family with 3 women, 2 toddlers and 1 boy of around 13-14 yeas old. They cornered me and started begging saying things like "Didi kannada nahi aata" (I don't know Kannada) "Koi humari baat nahi sun raha, humare thekedar ne hume ghar se nikal diya or pese nahi h, Didiii" (No body is listening to us, our landlord threw us out). I told them that i was a student and can't help them much. But one woman did all the talking and kept insisting me to help them. The rest of them kept folding their hands in front of me "Didi please!!". They actually looked very poor. I kept resisting and since they were 6 people in total, I was surrounded in the pedestrian. I was ready to pay 100/- to help them eat something so I asked them. But they said It would be better if I help them book tickets back home where one ticket costed 350/-!! I don't know what trance they put me in or maybe i just wanted to escape, I paid them 350. MY BAD. But those beggars still weren't satisfied and said "Didi ek or ticket karwa do please!" (Didi help us book one more ticket please) UGHH I SOMEHOW AGREED AND PAID. FML!! I am never this dumb EVER. I was literally so close to my house, could've said no, ignored them. Now that I am duped, I even tried calling the number I had paid to but its switched off.
I was so angry, was about to call cyber cell but then it would have been funny since its about 700/- but I don't know... I have reported their number as Fraud on PhonePe. I think UPI transactions have made scams so easy. I never carry cash and I never would have given more than 100/- in cash. Please Be Aware!!
This happened near Uttarahalli.

I have a weird situation. I have two cell phones. One was issued to me from work. I work for a larger company that mostly deals with government contracts. My job requires certain government qualifications attained through background checks. My work phone is DEFINITELY not a listed number and it DEFINITELY does not have ties to my name.At all. If I call someone on it it always says Blocked ID.
I received a text, on my work phone, from what appears to be a wholesaler, asking if I am interested in selling a house that my late father owned about 15 years ago. My bio dad had a different last name. He was not on my birth certificate.
They knew my name and the address of his old house. I lived there for like 2 years as a toddler.
I have no clue how they found any of this info or how they got my work number. I turned my phone over at work today. My employers are taking this very seriously.
They already issued a new phone and have turned my old phone over to law enforcement, as is policy for this type of info/data breach.
How is this possible? Is this a scam? How did they tie my name to my work phone? How did they tie my name to my dads property? Im assuming they hacked my phone and laptops. I have ID protection and my credit is locked and monitored. Im just so freaking curious.
Any info or advice would be appreciated.

I make very few phone calls, those that I do make I usually use Google voice on my tablet or laptop and all my incoming calls come to my Google voice number.
I like having data while I'm out but I don't need it often and I don't need a new number. Could a cheap data plan with GV work? For example: T-Mobile has a $10 a month tablet data plan. Would something like this + Google voice be a viable alternative to cell contract?

To my friends who looked at me like I had a screw loose and my younger brother who talked down at me like I was a conspiracy theorist...
WE WERE FUCKING RIGHT!
I didn't sell any of my xxxx booked at Computershare, but I'm celebrating hard.
I haven't made life-changing money yet, but I'm celebrating because FUCK EVERYONE ELSE, we were right.
And in September, if the DRS count comes in at about the same 75M shares, I'll know that most apes truly have forged diamond hands and we'll get to do this again when the hedgies' swaps have to roll over next.
And then it's rinse and repeat until they can't sustain the costs to roll over OR all outstanding shares have been booked at Computershare.
And then -- BOOM! Phone numbers for longtime holders and jail cells for the criminal pieces of shit who sell stuff they don't own.
We were fucking right.

It has been 20 years now since 8th grade, but I can't help but think this particular incident negatively impacted me throughout High School and into adulthood. Here is the backstory:
In 8th grade I had a guy named Ben in a couple (or maybe most) of my classes. I knew who he was throughout middle school, but only really started talking to him in 8th grade. He was funny but at the same time had a tough exterior and was cool. I was a somewhat shy kid and didn't have that many close friends in Middle School. But I really wanted to "belong." Anyway, Ben would always make small talk with me and I started thinking to myself "Hey, this is a guy I could see myself being friends with." I thought it was cool that he was actually initiating conversation with me so I did the same. We weren't close, but we had mutual "like" for each other.
About halfway through the year, a guy named Geoff moved to our school (He was there in 7th grade but I didn't know him). Him and Ben were already best friends- not sure if they knew each other before 7th grade or if it was during 7th grade that they became friends. But I had him for a few classes as well, with one of them being in a class with both him and Ben (it was health class I think). We were "cool" with each other I guess until he started dating my ex girlfriend and she talked crap about me to him and it made him "hate" me. I don't even remember exactly what she said, but it was basically that I was a "bad person" to her after we broke up and of course he's inclined to believe his GF and will protect her (she told me on the bus that he hated me after hearing about what kind of "person" I am and another guy said he wanted to beat me up). I never did talk to him about it, I honestly just ignored it and he ignored me in return. Then they broke up within a couple weeks anyway because middle school relationships never last. So everybody is happy (or not).
So Ben is unaware of Geoff's dislike towards me which is cool, because he doesn't need to know our drama. Ben talks to me about having a party with some guys from our school at his place next weekend and says I'm invited. Basically we would play video games such as Halo and would spend the night. He told me "I'm inviting you because I really think you're cool." He also asked for my phone number (our house phone, I didn't have a cell phone) and that he would call my place tonight. He said "If your parents don't recognize the number, just say it's your friend inviting you over." I was on cloud nine. Not only was I getting invited by someone I thought was cool, but he said "Friend!?" As someone who had some social anxiety, I felt like the luckiest guy. Later that day, he showed me the invite list and my name was on it and there were about 5 or 6 other guys that I knew, including Geoff. I was cool with the list and figured since Geoff wasn't dating my ex anymore that his so-called "hatred" towards me didn't apply anymore. I was wrong.
In our health class, Ben was showing Geoff the list. I was sitting somewhat close, close enough to hear them. Then I heard Geoff say "rmchampion? No, you can't invite him, he's gay!" (not homosexual, but gay was used as an insult or a slang) Ben looked over at me and said "No he's not" and he knew that I was listening because I started watching them. You could see sadness in his eyes. My heart sank. The teacher (unaware of what was going on) started talking so basically it was a "We'll talk later" and the bell rang for the next class shortly after (I didn't have a class with Ben for the rest of the day). I was mortified and the rest of the day was a blur to me. I was holding out hope for that night that I would get the phone call from Ben talking about his party but it never came. I remember waking up the next morning for school feeling sick to my stomach. I didn't have the courage to ask Ben about the party and if I was still invited. It took one of the guys that was on the list (his name was Andrew), to ask about the guests to Ben (we were in the same table/group for one of our classes) and said "isn't rmchampion going too?" And Ben replied "No." I was crushed inside but didn't show it. Ben was never "mean" to me, but I feel like we were never the same after that. It was even worse when Geoff was talking to this girl saying "We need a stripper at Ben's party, you should come." Not because of her being a stripper per say, but the way that I was feeling FOMO.
Geoff ended up moving away again after 8th grade and I didn't really have any classes with Ben again in High School. Years later after High School, Ben saw me getting gas and he randomly went up to me and said "Hey, I remember you from school, I just thought I would say hi" and I'm like "Oh yeah, hi!" and he was like "Well, good to see you!"
I do think that really scarred me. Of course, I moved on from that incident and made other friends. But now I am terrified of rejection. Maybe that's why I'm still single. And when friends make plans with me, I try not to get too excited until it actually happens because I know that another "Geoff" could come into my life and ruin it. So, thanks Geoff, you made me struggle with confidence for years.
Not really sure what my motive is here, just want thoughts on this. I never really told anybody about this. Not even my parents knew about it. I think I was too embarrassed.

It has been 20 years now since 8th grade, but I can't help but think this particular incident negatively impacted me throughout High School and into adulthood. Here is the backstory:
In 8th grade I had a guy named Ben in a couple (or maybe most) of my classes. I knew who he was throughout middle school, but only really started talking to him in 8th grade. He was funny but at the same time had a tough exterior and was cool. I was a somewhat shy kid and didn't have that many close friends in Middle School. But I really wanted to "belong." Anyway, Ben would always make small talk with me and I started thinking to myself "Hey, this is a guy I could see myself being friends with." I thought it was cool that he was actually initiating conversation with me so I did the same. We weren't close, but we had mutual "like" for each other.
About halfway through the year, a guy named Geoff moved to our school (He was there in 7th grade but I didn't know him). Him and Ben were already best friends- not sure if they knew each other before 7th grade or if it was during 7th grade that they became friends. But I had him for a few classes as well, with one of them being in a class with both him and Ben (it was health class I think). We were "cool" with each other I guess until he started dating my ex girlfriend and she talked crap about me to him and it made him "hate" me. I don't even remember exactly what she said, but it was basically that I was a "bad person" to her after we broke up and of course he's inclined to believe his GF and will protect her (she told me on the bus that he hated me after hearing about what kind of "person" I am and another guy said he wanted to beat me up). I never did talk to him about it, I honestly just ignored it and he ignored me in return. Then they broke up within a couple weeks anyway because middle school relationships never last. So everybody is happy (or not).
So Ben is unaware of Geoff's dislike towards me which is cool, because he doesn't need to know our drama. Ben talks to me about having a party with some guys from our school at his place next weekend and says I'm invited. Basically we would play video games such as Halo and would spend the night. He told me "I'm inviting you because I really think you're cool." He also asked for my phone number (our house phone, I didn't have a cell phone) and that he would call my place tonight. He said "If your parents don't recognize the number, just say it's your friend inviting you over." I was on cloud nine. Not only was I getting invited by someone I thought was cool, but he said "Friend!?" As someone who had some social anxiety, I felt like the luckiest guy. Later that day, he showed me the invite list and my name was on it and there were about 5 or 6 other guys that I knew, including Geoff. I was cool with the list and figured since Geoff wasn't dating my ex anymore that his so-called "hatred" towards me didn't apply anymore. I was wrong.
In our health class, Ben was showing Geoff the list. I was sitting somewhat close, close enough to hear them. Then I heard Geoff say "rmchampion? No, you can't invite him, he's gay!" (not homosexual, but gay was used as an insult or a slang) Ben looked over at me and said "No he's not" and he knew that I was listening because I started watching them. You could see sadness in his eyes. My heart sank. The teacher (unaware of what was going on) started talking so basically it was a "We'll talk later" and the bell rang for the next class shortly after (I didn't have a class with Ben for the rest of the day). I was mortified and the rest of the day was a blur to me. I was holding out hope for that night that I would get the phone call from Ben talking about his party but it never came. I remember waking up the next morning for school feeling sick to my stomach. I didn't have the courage to ask Ben about the party and if I was still invited. It took one of the guys that was on the list (his name was Andrew), to ask about the guests to Ben (we were in the same table/group for one of our classes) and said "isn't rmchampion going too?" And Ben replied "No." I was crushed inside but didn't show it. Ben was never "mean" to me, but I feel like we were never the same after that. It was even worse when Geoff was talking to this girl saying "We need a stripper at Ben's party, you should come." Not because of her being a stripper per say, but the way that I was feeling FOMO.
Geoff ended up moving away again after 8th grade and I didn't really have any classes with Ben again in High School. Years later after High School, Ben saw me getting gas and he randomly went up to me and said "Hey, I remember you from school, I just thought I would say hi" and I'm like "Oh yeah, hi!" and he was like "Well, good to see you!"
I do think that really scarred me. Of course, I moved on from that incident and made other friends. But now I am terrified of rejection. Maybe that's why I'm still single. And when friends make plans with me, I try not to get too excited until it actually happens because I know that another "Geoff" could come into my life and ruin it. So, thanks Geoff, you made me struggle with confidence for years.
Not really sure what my motive is here, just want thoughts on this. I never really told anybody about this. Not even my parents knew about it. I think I was too embarrassed.

So the last few years have been rough.
*note* if you're a "cheaters will always be cheaters type" tldr is don't bother reading or commenting
BACKSTORY 2019-2023 child nearly annual broken bones, lots of stress and specialist visits.
2018-2024 my wife got her associates as a medical assistant and is almost done with her bachelor's and final quarter internship while working full time and that has been hard for me. The lack of time for me and my son has really made an impact.
2019 I was injured at work and 2020 had my first surgery to try and preserve an ankle joint. That surgery ended up failing and while recovering I ended up mangling 2 fingertips in a wood jointer. 2020 I had to make the transition to a sahd on workers comp and have been since then. My lifestyle of hiking and fishing was upended because I could barely be on my feet 3 hours a day and uneven ground killed me not to mention the whole covid thing was pretty isolating.
All of 2021 was supporting her being a surrogate for a couple in City X (their egg/sperm). So, lots of trips checks and giving her injections. It was kind of proving myself to her because I was terrified when our son was born in 2017 and didn't help as much as I should have. Especially the first 3 months. Really, I didn't find out until later. We had conversations and fights at the time and id step up to do more and she would agree and tell me it was all okay. Then another fight saying I wasn't doing enough/anything and asking more and me being upset and confused. I guess at the time she was afraid to ask more, or tell me what she wanted, or her feelings, and the postpartum depression and initial feelings of abandonment didn't help.
Anyways the surrogacy went okay. I was there and supportive. Rubbing her feet and back. taking on extra load when she was tired etc. And hey I didn't pass out at delivery this time XD The end was a bit hard with 2 inductions needed and a massive 9.5lb baby and a stuck shoulder.
Then a few weeks after birth in November 2021 the nightmare began.
Out of nowhere she started hemorrhaging. She had to have an emergency D&C to stop the bleeding and scans showed a mass. Turned out the surrogate baby's placenta had some cells turn cancerous and attach to her uterus (Choriocarcinoma). 3 months later and the first 3 agent chemo failed, and her numbers were skyrocketing because it turned treatment resistant. They had to hit it with 5 types of chemo (EMACO) leaving future fertility a coin toss but more than a hysterectomy. By May 2022 the tumor marker was gone, but it was 6 months of intense monitoring and 6 months of monthly monitoring. The whole time she was in an intense spiraling depression questioning life. The meaning of all it, and how all her childhood trauma was fair. That no god would let a child live that. And questioning every decision in her life and wondering what things could have been like if she went a different direction. Feeling like she missed out on opportunities early in life. If this might be all there is (we have been together since she was 17). She said she felt like reality wasn't real and this was make believe at times.
Summer 2022 she made a new mom friend. She was pretty toxic and selfish. She used my wife for personal benefit and to go places. Yelled at her kids and treated the oldest from a prior marriage as less than (girl doesn't know her dad and when she mentioned she was part Mexican she freaked out and denied it because of how conservative and anti Mexican her new dad and his family is). Like never offered a dime, but expected food, gas, tickets, and gifts. She drove my wife nuts with that behavior. but she was desperate for a friend and loved her kids. Her friend would just talk shit about her partner pretty constantly and say my wife should be unhappy in her relationship too. Shit talking husbands behind their backs became like a mutual thing and I def hated it
Sometime 2023 she jumped into fantasy romance and fantasy smut /erotica. This progressed to an AI chat smut generator.
May 2023 monitoring was over and she was officially cancer free and had been on a health/mental health quest..
The mental health part started early in the year and she was seeing a therapist for depression and anxiety alone as well as her long list of childhood trauma. Off hand her therapist told her a few times she didn't know maybe just divorce me or something. I was super uncomfortable with this as it was completely outside her practicing scope and I didn't feel she should be providing relationship guidance, especially without me or the rest of the story. I felt a bit attacked and didn't even get the chance to give my perspective or account and felt that is pretty important after being here for a decade. A lot of negative points get omitted by her.
Summer 2023 she had some tough diagnosis for other chronic issues. Narcolepsy Dissociative Identity disorder Depression And a sleep disorder
I initially rejected this as I didn't want to accept these chronic and incurable conditions and insisted it has to be something else, that she's okay. It was taken as rejection of her.
Fall 2023 she reached out to a childhood ex bf a few states away and started an emotional affair. They kept in infrequent contact over the years and nothing ever came of it before. He has been unable to move past her or have meaningful relationships in 13 years. At first he pushed her away and rejected it, but after a month by Nov it was a thing. Texting saying I shouldn't worried because they dated before, but he ended up coming out as gay, calls in private, staying later after work. I gave it the benefit of the doubt but got burned. I found out in December the second time she wanted a private call in the car, and I checked her phone.
We started marriage counseling in Jan and I started my own therapy search as well as a condition of hers. She agreed to no longer contact the boy showed me the sent message ending it and blocked him. By Feb I found him listed in her phone as Saraa and found deleted texts and calls. In therapy she wanted to keep him as a friend and only friend and I tried this. She asked if a PO box would be okay for a birthday present, and I said no. That it crossed a line. It was also super close to Valentine's day. Next therapy I couldn't handle the anxiety and feeling physically ill when she used her phone, and we went through Jan again break off block etc.
In Feb the therapist recommended a separate space for conflict as we work on things. That too much conflict triggered her dissociative identity disorder. It was either a hotel as needed or a rv/camper. My wife was set on a camper and the only way to get a newer one was to add my credit/income to hers for a loan and I was uncomfortable on a $20k purchase. She assured me the intent of the camper was working on us and not separating/divorcing. She brought up me not having chores completely done all the time and I poured myself into it if that was making her unhappy over the years.
During this time in March I found out she got the secret PO box and had yet again resumed texting entirely deleting her logs. She had valentines gifts. birthday gifts, long distance electronic bracelets, and had an easter basket coming. Everything was put together into a box to be gotten rid of. That effort I had for chores and making everything spotless kind of died. Like there was that recognition that that obviously wasn't the problem. We lived completely separately for a few weeks until she could make a choice. We split our son and had almost zero interaction. Eventually she chose and I saw a notebook she used once in December. Basically she has started outlining a story envisioning herself as the lead character in once of her romantic fantasies and cast me and the other man as competing love interests
April and early may there was nothing. We did therapy and tackled our issues slowly. Together. Our future plans: college vs baby and the ticking clock of fertility and ifs after chemo. Etc
Last week she was going out for lilac picking and didn't text me for 2 hours and said she was at the beach. Later she showed me something in her email and I saw discord emails about a pw change and login. One bad gut feeling later and the next morning I see she deleted the discord emails and check our phone plan and her phone and see missing texts. I put in a phone record request for recent texts and text/call logs. She woke up and I said it did it and she said I was disgusting. Then admitted I was right.
She says after breaking it off she was worried he would hurt himself and just wanted to be sure he was okay and admitted to 3 texts and the discord call which i verified. Said that he was in therapy for his issues. She said she didn't want to bring it up to me because I would make it a fight and she thought she could just get away with a few texts to make sure. That she felt responsible for how much he had been hurt too.
So I did what I do with extreme anxiety and checked her work bag. I found an old journal they shared Jan to mid-march. Kind of confirmed again what was going on. Also revealed she lied to me about the trailer, or him? She couldn't get it without me and told him it was to work on separating from me easier. Yeah I kept pics in case this goes downhill because yeah, I'll gun for EVERYTHING. I'm sure that being tricked into signing a $20k contract under false pretenses for her personal benefit, secret po boxes, lying to our therapist repeatedly, secret texts, expecting gifts from the other man, career over spending time with family and a serious personality disorder on top of narcolepsy making a job hard to keep down wont do her favors at divorce/custody hearings.
So its all fresh for me again. I already have extreme anxiety and the autism doesn't help with reading/understanding people the best, although my gut intuition and pattern recognition are catching stuff fine.
WHERE I THINK I AM
Looking back, I can see that the personality disorder and narcolepsy are apparent. Dream delusion and memory issues from the narcolepsy make separating dream from reality hard as well as just recalling what happened. So whether not the "not feeling like reality is real" was a dream delusion or a full-blown dissociative episode... I can also see that messaging him was a "new" personality state. Maybe it's a manifestation of the trauma of nearly dying from cancer, maybe it's a fragment of her young identity that was created to survive her traumatic childhood resurfacing after nearly dying. But her interests and perspective massively shifted at that time and there was a clear separation between her with me and her with him. It was like this regression back to 15. Like she was molding an identity to fit his desires and interests. She took up tarot and witchy books, different music, painting, rockhounding (my interest), dried bouquets, dyed her hair and got multiple piercings. Even getting caught there was that click in her whole demeanor.
I can see how her friend may have jaded her towards me by all the shit she talked about HER husband. I can see that throwing herself into fantasy smut to cope flooded her with portrayals of unrealistic romance. That she progressed that by using an AI smut bot to hold those conversations with. Then she directly tried to process her own reality through the lens of those novels in that journal.
This "relationship" was "I love you, we can be together in 10 years". He wasn't going to leave his cushy job. Or his state. He didn't want to be a stepdad. He didn't want to support her career or have any involvement in it. She couldn't leave my state. Never saw illicit photos. No discussion of sex. It was like exactly what you think some lovestruck preteens would come up with. Like just a fantasy. No talk of bills or finances. Of moving. Of any substantial tangible entanglement.
Somehow that's easier to handle
I love her and don't want to leave her. But i desperately think she needs serious help and have told her I want her to do therapy 2x a month (on top of marriage therapy 2x).
I also think if a secret or deleted text happens again, I've got to take off the kid gloves and fight for it all. Cause well showing up at the dude's door would end in prison.
I'm sure this happening right as I fully got over last time and took a trust leap of faith on a "gay" friend that burned me will make it harder. I get the last few years have been garbage luck and I get almost dying can have profound affects though. She had been utterly loyal for 5 years (believe me I checked as we agreed to ie open book). Tying to see this with an open mind.
I get my exact expectations are muddy and part of this is just putting it into words to process for me, but I value if someone has any good input

I’m an advocate for two children in foster care whose foster family pays their cell bills. Soon they’ll be going back home to their parents and the grandparents think the parents won’t pay the bills and they won’t be able to contact the kids. For reasons, the grandparents will not pay the bills.
Would Google Voice be something they could set up and use? Currently they have phone numbers but what happens if/when their service gets shut off for nonpayment? Would GV still work over a wifi connection in this scenario?
Thanks for any insight anyone can provide.

Context: I’m a 21f trying to live my life for Christ. I don’t use most social media platforms, not that there’s anything wrong if you do. but personally I’ve found that having them makes me not act or think in a way pleasing to God. I’ve had IG, Snapchat, FB, and TikTok accounts in the past. But as of late, Snapchat is basically dead, save for ppl that like to send/request explicit pics, which isn’t something I’m into considering I’m waiting until marriage. Additionally I’ll admit, I basically have a scrolling addiction. For reference, I will scroll on TikTok and Instagram for hours, not necessarily watching anything bad, it’s often funny vids or even Christian humor, but with Instagram specifically, im lurking on people’s pages to compare my life to theirs, thinking of how I’m better, and sometimes how their lives are better, neither being Christ like or good for my mental health. And I basically won’t live my life because I’m so invested in lives and decisions of others. Think of the whole ‘you are quick to point out the small splinter of wood in your neighbors eye but can’t seem to see the piece of wood in your own’ analogy. Anyways over the past year I’ve really been trying to break out of that because that isn’t Christ like at all and I need to get my time back so I can do things I need to do for my own life. I’ve tried to come back, thinking that just some time away will do the job but when I come back, I start doom scrolling again and then my screen time is basically up 80%. So going back to these platforms just isn’t possible for me, I lack self control, and better to cut the whole thing off than risk falling back into it. Additionally, I’ve really enjoyed the peace I’ve gotten from not being on IG, not feeling the stress of having to take the perfect photo for Instagram, post pictures often enough, to show that I’m doing as well as my peers, etc. Anyway, I truly think it’s much better for me to not have those social accounts.
Recently a guy approached me (21f) in the grocery store and asked for my Instagram. I don’t use Instagram anymore. I tell him that. So he asks me what socials do I have. And I suddenly realize I don’t have any and it never occurred to me when I deactivated my socials that this would be a problem when it came to meeting people. He ends up asking for my number and I was about to give it to him like I actually typed it in correctly but then I realized there’s a lot you can do with a phone number so I chickened out and changed the last two digits so obviously he can’t find me. I was wrong and feel bad about that and that’s another issue entirely. But back to the main point, I was trying to figure out if there are either alternative social media platforms I can use to chat with people so if I’m i meet someone but don’t want to give them something as personal as my phone number because we’re basically strangers instead or if I was being paranoid and you really can’t do any damage with just a cell number.

Context: I’m a trying to live my life for Christ. I don’t use most social media platforms, not that there’s anything wrong if you do. but personally I’ve found that having them makes me not act or think in a way pleasing to God. I’ve had IG, Snapchat, FB, and TikTok accounts in the past. But as of late, Snapchat is basically dead, save for ppl that like to send/request explicit pics, which isn’t something I’m into considering I’m waiting until marriage. Additionally I’ll admit, I basically have a scrolling addiction. For reference, I will scroll on TikTok and Instagram for hours, not necessarily watching anything bad, it’s often funny vids or even Christian humor, but with Instagram specifically, im lurking on people’s pages to compare my life to theirs, thinking of how I’m better, and sometimes how their lives are better, neither being Christ like or good for my mental health. And I basically won’t live my life because I’m so invested in lives and decisions of others. Think of the whole ‘you are quick to point out the small splinter of wood in your neighbors eye but can’t seem to see the piece of wood in your own’ analogy. Anyways over the past year I’ve really been trying to break out of that because that isn’t Christ like at all and I need to get my time back so I can do things I need to do for my own life. I’ve tried to come back, thinking that just some time away will do the job but when I come back, I start doom scrolling again and then my screen time is basically up 80%. So going back to these platforms just isn’t possible for me, I lack self control, and better to cut the whole thing off than risk falling back into it. Additionally, I’ve really enjoyed the peace I’ve gotten from not being on IG, not feeling the stress of having to take the perfect photo for Instagram, post pictures often enough, to show that I’m doing as well as my peers, etc. Anyway, I truly think it’s much better for me to not have those social accounts, so reactivating is basically off the table.
Recently a guy approached me (21f) in the grocery store and asked for my Instagram. I don’t use Instagram anymore. I tell him that. So he asks me what socials do I have. And I suddenly realize I don’t have any and it never occurred to me when I deactivated my socials that this would be a problem when it came to meeting people. He ends up asking for my number and I was about to give it to him like I actually typed it in correctly but then I realized there’s a lot you can do with a phone number so I chickened out and changed the last two digits so obviously he can’t find me. I was wrong and feel bad about that and that’s another issue entirely. But back to the main point, I was trying to figure out if there are either alternative social media platforms methods I can use to chat with people so if I’m i meet someone but don’t want to give them something as personal as my phone number because we’re basically strangers instead or if I was being paranoid and you really can’t do any damage with just a cell number.

I moved out about 3 months ago. I could not handle my wife constantly questioning me. She had a year and a half long affair with another woman which she absolutely will not stop saying was my fault. I asked her repeatedly if she ever had any joy in our relationship and she said she did not because I never showed her enough attention. I'm used to the blame being set at my feet. I know that she's always going to say that I'm responsible for our relationship falling apart.
Tonight I was at the house with the kids while she went out. I was looking for something in the dresser and I found the number of two different private investigators and a cell phone that I had never seen. It appears that she's having me followed. I'm not sure what her end game is, but it's very unsettling. I asked her directly a while back if she had hired a detective and she said she had not. She asked me the same and of course I haven't because I have no interest in knowing what she's up to.
This is very unsettling for me. I knew that she wouldn't take it well when I removed myself from our family situation, but I also knew that I had to go in order to be able to think straight. For years. She had convinced me that I was the cause of all of our problems.
I don't know if she actually hired someone, but there was also a separate cell phone that I had never seen before. I suffered from terrible anxiety living with her and now finding out that she has someone watching me makes me even more anxious. This isn't going to make me change my course, but I'm sure that she's putting together some sort of a case to try and convince my family that I'm up to something. I hate this and I wish that it was over. I miss my kids, I miss being able to have my own life and control over my own feelings. If anyone has any experience with this, please let me know. I'm sure I won't sleep well tonight.

I 2017 Silverado. I know it has a cell phone connection, since I’ve gotten spam calls on it before. How do I figure out what the number is ?
Does the dash or radio system have an info screen for it ?
Thanks !

Hi all,
Last year, an investor bought a house in my neighborhood, and transformed it into (what I thought) was an AirBnB. They built a pickleball court in the back yard, and ever since I can hear groups playing pickleball with loud music / cheering. I can hear this even inside my house. It's been well documented how disruptive Pickleball noise can be.
I found the owners cell phone number via city records and gave him a call to ask if he could tell his guests to respect the neighborhood and keep it down. He told me he wasn't going to do anything because he didn't want bad reviews, and that I should be happy because his renovation "made the neighborhood better".
I found the AirBnB listing, but also discovered that the court is listed on Swimply (EDIT: link removed) for rental, and he even has it listed as a "private exclusive" court that takes reservations here (EDIT link removed). They also have an Instagram (EDIT: link removed).
What can I do? The city said they'll send someone out, but they can only do something if they witness a violation.

I accidentally posted this to my username instead of my subreddit so here is is:
The Mortgage, Part 3
“Fuck,” I said as I drove to work in the old beater that only started on the fourth try because it could tell that I was pissed off. Ray’s case started at two o’clock, and I was heading to the office to get ready. “Fuck fuck fuckity fucking fuck. Fuck.” I’d wanted to tell Angela about Ray’s case, and how I was sorry that I hadn’t wanted to help him, but now I would, I would help him, and I would win, but then I’d gotten her all riled up on something else, something totally different, something way more serious.
My wife had given me a triple ultimatum: fix things up with her father, save idiot Ray from Sy-Co Corp., and somehow find a downpayment for the place she wanted to buy, in the little townhouse infill project in Bixity. It was like demanding I do a double bank shot, and then run over to the baseball diamond and hit a home run after first pointing to where it would land, Babe Ruth style.
Angela was mad at me, seriously mad. She’d slipped out that morning before I was even awake, sliding quietly past me on the couch. I didn’t realize she was gone until I heard the faint click of the front door closing. I jumped up, tripped over a blanket, and by the time I got up and my robe on, the elevator down the hall dinged, and Angela was gone before I opened the apartment door.
I swore at myself some more and pounded the steering wheel, “I fucked up,” I said, several times as I hit the wheel over and over again, until I accidentally honked it, and then looked all sheepish when the guy in front of me gave me the finger. I reached my office without further incident, but instead of walking in the front door, I went further down the hall, and into the office of Mark Cecil-Rowe, Barrister, LL.D, the man with the finest speaking voice I ever heard. When I entered his office I forgot for a minute about Angela and her father and sleeping on the couch the night before. I forget about everything, except the reason that I had come to Cecil-Rowe’s office: to stump him with a legal problem that I had solved, but which I was pretty sure he could not. In other words, I had come to preen and to brag and to boast. No one likes a showoff, and I had come to show off. I put my hand on the door and turned the knob. After a brief pause, I flung open the door.
“I’m a goddamn genius,” I said as I strolled into the older man’s office.
I noticed the echo of a hastily closed desk drawer hanging in the air. In Aaron’s office, where I rented space, a sudden act of concealment implied cocaine, but with Cecil-Rowe, the item in question was probably a mickey of vodka. I had the sense that he’d been drinking a bit before I arrived, but his powers of observation were unimpaired, and when he looked into my face, his expression showed sympathy, and actual pain.
“What have you done now?” he said, as set the papers before him to one side, and readied himself to hear my latest tale of legal brilliance.
“I’m a genius,” I said.
“Oh dear. Have a seat.”
“No really, I am. I’m a genius. I got this case that everyone says you can’t win, but I’m gonna win it, and when I do, I’m gonna look like a genius.” Cecil-Rowe gave me a sad indulgent smile.
“Whenever you tell me you’re a genius, I am always concerned about what is to follow. When you get wrapped up in what you call your genius, you tend to ignore the more mundane things we lawyers have to do to win a case. You think you’re going to win by genius alone.”
“Let me tell you why I’m a goddamn genius.” With effort I wiped the smug, self-satisfied expression that was on my face.
“Tell me why you’re a genius,” Cecil-Rowe said, “while I pour us a coffee.” He heaved his bulky body up from his chair and shuffled over to a counter. He picked up a carafe of hot coffee sitting on a hot plate, and poured two cups. “Speak,” he said, handing me one. I took a sip of the coffee, and told Cecil-Rowe the tale of Cousin Ray: his purchase of a franchise from Sy-Co Corp, its swift demise, the crash and burn in Commercial Court, the Minutes of Settlement, the seventy-one kilometer limit, and lastly, Sy-Co’s motion scheduled for two p.m. that very day, seeking an interim injunction shutting down Ray’s place.
Cecil-Rowe absorbed all this without the need to take notes. Instead, he sat back while he eyed me, taking the occasional sip of coffee, and smiling at the extravagant flourishes and details that brought out Ray’s story to full effect.
“Obviously Ray is dead on arrival,” he said, “but I guess this is the part where you tell me how you’re going to win.”
So I told him how I was going to win, but it didn’t have the desired effect. “I told ya I’m a genius, Mr. C,” cueing him to applaud, to admit what a brilliant lawyer I was. But there was no applause from Mark Cecil-Rowe. He looked at me without so much as a smile.
“You can cling to that genius notion as a consolation prize, after you get whipped this afternoon in court.”
“No way,” I said, “not a chance. I got this thing won hands down. I’m gonna kick ass in court today and--”
“And how exactly do you plan to do that, if you don’t have evidence?”
“What?”
“Evidence, Calledinthe9os. It’s what lawyers like me use to beat geniuses like you.”
“But I’m gonna win without proof. I don’t need proof. The argument I’m gonna make, relies on simple facts that are totally obvious, so the judge is gonna--” Cecil-Rowe stuck up his hand.
“Stop right there. I know what’s coming. You’re going to ask the judge to take *judicial notice.”
And he was right. That was exactly what I was going to do.
There are some things so obvious that you didn’t have to prove them, things that everyone knew. You didn’t have to prove that water froze at zero degrees and boiled at a hundred, or that Bixity was between West Bay and East Bay.
“You got it,” I said, “judicial notice all the way.”
“You’re going to tell the judge that the centerpiece of your argument, the lynchpin of your case is a fact known to pretty well everyone, and so you don’t need proof.”
“Exactly,” I said. Cecil-Rowe took another sip of his coffee, and left me hanging in the silence for a while before he spoke.
“If that’s true, then why does coming up with that argument make you a genius?”
“Oh, I said,”I didn’t think of that.”
“It is acceptable to rely on judicial notice for minor, ancillary points. But you never should walk into court thinking that the court will take judicial notice of your entire defence. It’s just too risky.”
“But how am I going to rustle up a witness in time for this afternoon?”
“Worry about that after you leave my office. I can’t help you with that. What I want to know, is why you’re doing this at the last minute.”
“What makes you think I’m doing this at the last minute?”
“Because you never would have resorted to judicial notice if you were properly prepared. If you’d opened this case a bit earlier, you’ve have everything lined up. But you got to work on it late, and so you want to rely on judicial notice. You’ve messed up, Calledinthe90s, and you know what my rule is when you mess up.” Cecil-Rowe didn’t extend aid to me, until I admitted the error of my ways. It was infuriating, but he was inflexible. So I fessed up.
“My idiot cousin Ray’s been trying to retain me for almost two weeks, but I was putting him off because I was mad at him. So now my wife’s mad at me, and if I don’t win this case, I’m dead. Plus her dad’s mad at me too and --” My brain roared into overdrive, a mess of family and law and fear, and at the centre of it, thoughts of Angela’s anger and her father. My mind took off, and then came to an instant halt at a helpful destination.
“Yes?” Cecil-Rowe said.
“Sorry. I just realized how to solve the evidence problem. Look, can I ask you about the thing I actually came here to ask you about?”
“You have a problem that’s worse than having no evidence? What could be worse than -- oh. You don’t have a retainer. Your client doesn't have any money.”
“Exactly. How do I get paid? That’s the problem.” I explained that Ray had no money, as in none, and that if he did have money, he wouldn’t spend it on me. Instead, he’d go back downtown and throw his cash at some big firm, who would take on his case, and proceed to lose it in a calm, careful, sober manner, ending in a reporting letter to Ray telling him that he’d lost.
“Now that’s a problem I can solve,” Cecil-Rowe said.
“Really? ‘Cause I can’t see a way around it. I think I’m gonna have to do this for free, and that really pisses me off.” Cecil-Rowe shook his head.
“You may or may not get paid, but you can set things up so that if you win, you’ll win pretty good.”
“How? Ray’s a deadbeat. Tapped out.”
“But is he desperate?”
“Totally. The first time he failed, he lost his own money, but if he goes under this time, he’s taking family money with him, and he’ll be the black sheep forever.”
“And he’s using family to emotionally blackmail you into helping him?’
“Like no shit. That’s the part that pisses me off the most. I’m like a goddamn slave, being forced to work for free.”
“Never fear, young apprentice. I have just the thing in mind.” He reached into a drawer, and pulled out a form. “Fill in the blanks, and have him sign.”
I looked it over, and saw that the document was a retainer agreement. I whistled. “Holy shit. If he signs this, he’s almost my slave.”
“Close, but not quite” Cecil-Rowe said, “the Latin term for this is "contractus pro venditione animae"”. It’s the ultimate retainer agreement. Once Ray signs that, you own any cause of action he has against the person suing him. You can settle the case on any terms you like, and you get to keep whatever proceeds there are.” Cecil-Rowe placed the folder back in a drawer, and from his manner you could tell that the interview was over.
“Awesome, Mr. C. I’ll call you from Commercial Court when we’re done.”
“Commercial Court?” he said.
“Yeah, Commercial Court.”
“This just keeps getting worse. Take notes, Calledinthe90s, while I school you on Commercial Court. Commercial Court is a jungle, and without preparation, you’ll get savaged.”
“That’s what happened to Ray when--”
“Take notes, young apprentice,” he said, tossing me a pad and a pen. He started to lecture, and I took notes that I have with me to this day, in a safe deposit box downstairs in the vault at Mega Bank Main Branch.
* * *
By the time Cecil-Rowe finished schooling me, it was close to ten, and the case started at two. I didn’t have much time. I ran down the hall to my office, and called Ray’s restaurant. No answer. Then I called Ray’s house. I expected to get Ray’s wife, but the man himself answered.
“You’re not at work. Why aren’t you at work?”
“Sy-Co Corp served all my employees with a cease and desist letter. They all got scared and took off. The place is shut down.”
“You gotta fax machine at home?” He did, and asked why.
“I’m taking your case, but only if you sign the paper I’m about to send and fax it back.” I sent the fax, and five minutes later it came back signed, and it was official: Ray had sold me his legal soul.
I went out to the parking lot, got into my beater and drove fast. In less than thirty minutes I reached my destination. I knocked on the door, and when it opened, my diminutive mother-in-law poked out her head. “What a pleasant surprise,” she said.
“Sorry, Mrs. M, but I’m in a super hurry. I gotta rush to get to court to help Ray. But first, I gotta speak to Dr. M.”
“He’s not here,” she said.
“Not here?”
“He’s on his way to his bridge game. He left just a few minutes ago.”
“Where’s the club?”
“He’s walking there,” she said, and pointed down the street.
“Thanks.” I got into my car and headed where Mrs. M had pointed, passing big houses and new project with an “Opening Soon” sign. And walking past it was the figure of Dr. M.
“Hey, Dr. M,” I called out the window. He stopped and looked around, startled. But he didn’t see me, not at first.
“It’s me, Dr. M. Me, Calledin90s.” He leaned forward as if to see me better. I got out of the car.
“Is something wrong with Angela? Or the baby?”
“No, no not at all, sorry to scare you, it’s nothing like that. I need your help.”
“Oh.” He started walking again, and now it was my turn to be a bit stunned, watching my father-in-law walk away from me. I caught up with him in a few quick strides.
“Listen, I really need your help.”
“And I really need to get to a bridge game.”
“This isn’t about me. It’s about Ray.” That brought him to a halt. He turned to me, angrier even than he’d been the night before.
“Did you drive all the way out here just to make fun of me? To remind me of how you won, distracting me with nonsense about Ray’s case?”
“I mean it,” I said, “I can win Ray’s case. I can prove it in a few words.”
“Prove it, then.” So I did. I spoke words, only a few words, but they were the right words to speak to Dr. M, for the words I spoke were in his language, words that he understood perfectly.
“I understand,” he said, “you’ve come to boast some more, to prove that you were right after all.”
“I want to win Ray’s case, but I don’t have any proof of what I’m saying.”
“You don’t need to prove that two plus two is four.”
“This, I gotta prove, and I need you to help me prove it. I need you to come to court with me, as my witness.”
“I can’t do that. I didn’t witness anything.”
“As my witness. My expert witness.” Unlike a normal witness, an expert witness can give an opinion. An expert is there not to advocate, I explained to Dr. M but to instruct, to teach.
“My bridge partner won’t be very happy,” he said.
“But Ray will, and so will Mrs. M and Angela and--”
“Very well. Do you have a cell phone? We can call the bridge club from my car.”
* * *
We were on the highway getting close to the downtown exit, when my wife called my cell phone. Back then cell phone service was super expensive and my wife only used it for emergencies. Or when she was really angry. I picked up the phone, wondering which it would be.
“I’m so happy that you made things up with my father,” she said.
“How did you know?”
“My mother called. She says you took him with you, that you went out together.”
“He’s with me right now,” I said.
“Where are you going?”
“To court. Going to court to win Ray’s case for him.”
“And you brought my father with you to watch?” She was so happy, I could hear in her voice that she was smiling. “That’s a great way to bond with him, Calledinthe90s. Look, I’m sorry I got so mad at you earlier, I really am. My dad’s a bit too sensitive and--”
“Sorry, Angela, your dad’s not coming to watch me.”
“Why is he with you, then?”
“He’s my witness,” I said.
“What?”
“His expert witness,” Dr. M said, loudly enough for Angela to hear.
My wife’s anger exploded into the phone. She wanted to know how I could expose her elderly, vulnerable father to the stress of a court case. I tried to tell her how I needed him, how there was literally no one else I could turn to, that her father was an expert, a true expert, and the judge was legally bound to believe him, but Angela heard none of this.
“Look,’ I said, “I promise you that--” And then I lowered the phone and pushed the red button, terminating the call. I’d learned that the best way to hang up on someone, was to do it when I was doing the talking. That way it looked like the call had dropped.
“I’m going to steal that move,” Dr. M said.
We rolled into the parking lot. I grabbed the cloth bag out of the back of my car, the bag that held my law robes and shirt and tabs, plus the other stuff I needed for court. It was one-thirty, still thirty minutes to go, not a lot of time to get robed and ready for court. It was just past one-forty five when I, with Dr. M in tow, opened the door to a courtroom on the eighth floor of an old insurance building that had been converted into a courthouse, the home of Commercial Court.
“Commercial Court is an exclusive club,” Cecil-Rowe had explained to me earlier that day, “the legal playground of the rich and powerful. They’ll know instantly that you’re not one of them.” And he was right. It was clear from the moment I walked in that I did not belong, for I was the only lawyer in robes. Everyone else was wearing a suit, and not some cheap thing off the rack like I wore.
There were a half-dozen lawyers present, and after they saw me, they exchanged knowing looks about the stranger amongst them. I ignored them, and walked up to the Registrar. I told him the case I was on, and he signed me in.
“First time in Commercial Court?” he said, eyeing my robes. “You know you don’t have to be robed in Commercial Court.” In other Superior Courts, you always had to bring your robes and get all dressed up. But Commercial Court had its own set of rules, and in the court for rich people, their lawyers did not have to wear robes.
“You’re here on the Sy-Co case?” a young woman asked. She was a junior like me, give a year or two either way. She was dressed in the finest downtown counsel fashion, some designer thing that Angela would know if she saw it.
“Just got retained,” I said.
“You know there’s no adjournments, right? We don’t do adjournments in Commercial Court. I’m just trying to be helpful, because I don’t think you've been here before. You know you don’t have to be robed, right?
“So I heard.”
“So where’s your material? You haven’t served anything, so how do you plan to argue your case?”
“I gotta witness,” I said.
She smiled. “There’s no viva voce evidence, either. Affidavit only.”
“We’ll see what the judge says.” There was a knock from the other side of the door to the judge’s chambers, and then the man himself entered.
I was amazed to see that even the judge wasn’t wearing a robe; instead, he was wearing a light coloured suit and a bright blue bow tie. He was dressed as good as the lawyers, all part of the downtown Commercial Court club, the playground of the richest and most powerful corporations in the City.
“Commercial Court’s not like other courts,” Cecil-Rowe told me earlier that day, explaining that most cases were over in fifteen minutes or less. A plaintiff showed up with some papers, and had a short consultation with the judge. The judge signed an order granting an injunction, or taking away a man’s business, or freezing his money. Commercial Court is where you went to get quick and simple court orders that eviscerated your opponent before the case even got going.
Defendants would appear sometimes in Commercial Court, Cecil-Rowe explained, but it was usually their last time up. Defendants always died a quick death in Commercial Court.
The judge took his seat, and then looked over the lawyers before him. His eyes moved along, and then stopped when they reached me, the one lawyer who was not like the others.
“You don’t need robes in Commercial Court,” the judge said to me.
“I’ll remember that for next time,” I said.
“What case are you on?”
I told him.
“He’s filed no responding materials,” my opponent said, “nothing at all.”
“I’m just vetting the list,” the judge said, “I’ll circle back to you two in a few minutes.” I listend while the judge vetted the rest of the afternoon list: a Mareva, plus a Norwich order, with counsel on those cases sent away in a matter of minutes.
Now the courtroom was almost empty, just the judge, two lawyers, the registrar and my star witness and father-in-law, Dr. M, who sat in the back of the courtroom dressed in an old business suit, put on hastily at his place two hours earlier, when I urged him to hurry it up, to not waste so much time on picking a suit.
“Back to you,” the judge said, addressing my opponent, “I thought this was an uncontested matter. That’s what your confirmation sheet said.”
“I’m sorry, Your Honour, but I didn’t know until I got here that the case was defended.”
“I got retained at the last minute,” I said, “barely three hours ago, the day after I read the papers. But I’m ready to go, ready to argue the case on the merits, so long as you grant me an indulgence, and let me call my witness, to let him testify in person instead of by affidavit, there being no time for me to draft anything.”
Opposing counsel was on her feet. “That’s not how things are done in Commercial Court,” she said, “or any court that I know of, for that matter. My friend (that’s what they make lawyers call each other in court, ‘my friend,’ even though you might hate the other guy’s guts),” the lawyer said, “my friend should have served his responding materials and filed them with the court. Instead, he’s taken us totally by surprise.”
“I’m sorry my friend is surprised by opposition,” I said, “but then consider, it’s my client’s livelihood that’s at stake. If my friend gets her injunction, Ray Telewu’s business is dead, and he loses everything. So yes, my client opposes the injunction, and yes, I’d like to call evidence.”
The judge didn’t consult the papers before him nor the books, but instead, he looked up at the big white clock on the courtroom wall. Its hands said two-fifteen.
“How long will your witness take, counsel?”
“In chief, ten minutes.” I’d practiced with Dr. M on the way in, and I was pretty sure he could do it in five, but I gave him a bit of extra time, just in case.
“We’ve got about two hours,” the judge said, “but I want to be fair to you and your client. Let’s take a fifteen minute recess so you can get instructions. Either we go ahead today with viva voce evidence, or we adjourn, and that will give Calledinthe90s time to file responding materials.”
When everyone came back, the junior’s boss was there, Senior Counsel, a heavy weight, one of those big guys downtown. Plus they brought this guy from Sy-Co Corp, the head of some bullshit division, with some bullshit title, Head of whatever, so that’s the title I’ll give him here. He was The Head. He was the man, the big cheese, the signer of the affidavit on which Sy-Co relied that day.
“What’s he doing here?” I asked Senior Counsel.
He stared at me, all lean and steel grey, looking every inch the hard hitting lawyer that commanded the biggest fees. “If you’re calling a live witness, then so can we. The Head will give evidence today, in advance of your client, so that the judge hears it from him first.” His junior smirked at me, and the two of them sat down, delighted that they’d thought of a way to one up me.
Except that they’d done it by exposing their client to cross-examination. The judge came in, allowed the Head to testify, and when he was done, I stood up.
“Just a few questions,” I said. Senior Counsel was stunned for an instant, and then he stood.
“This serves no purpose, Your Honour. The witness has confirmed the simple facts of his affidavit, and there’s no disputing it. Ray Telewu opened a restaurant less than seventy-one kilometres from Bixity City Hall, and that’s in breach of the Minutes of Settlement he signed.”
I did not bother to respond. Instead, I just stood, and I started to ask questions.
“Have a look at that map in your affidavit,” I said, and he did. I picked up my copy, and tore the map out of it. I passed it up to him.
“What do you notice about this map?”
“That it’s accurate,” the Head said, repeating his evidence in chief, amplifying it, talking about how the map contained perfect measurement.
“You will notice that the map is flat,” I said, laying it on the witness box before him.
“Of course it’s flat. That’s what maps are. Maps are flat.”
“But the earth is round,” I said, “or more properly, a sphere.” Senior Counsel was on his feet in an instant.
“What difference does that make?” he said.
“What you’ll hear from my expert witness, is that a flat map cannot accurately show Earth’s curves. A flat map distorts distances, and in this case, reduces them.”
“But that can’t be by very much.”
“In this case, by just over twenty meters,” Dr. M said from the back of the court.
“That’s my expert witness, the esteemed Dr. M.” I didn’t actually say Dr. M. Instead, I said his real name. But I’m not going to use the real names of my family here, so I’ll just keep calling him Dr. M. “Dr. M was a professor of Physics at the University of Bixity for almost thirty years. He has published numerous papers on particle physics, and is the first Canadian winner of the Wolf Prize for physics.”

• * * *

It went downhill after that for Sy-Co Corp. My father-in-law testified, explaining in simple language, language that even a child could understand, that the Earth was a sphere, that the shortest distance between two points on Earth was a curve, not a straight line. He summarized his calculations in plain English, dumbing down the math, so that everyone present imagined, if only for the moment, that they shared his understanding of a difficult mathematical equation.
Senior Counsel tried to cross-examine Dr. M, but it did not go well, my father-in-law indulging him, gently chiding him, continuing his explanations until the lawyer sat down, defeated by Dr. M’s mastery of the subject,his own lack of preparation and his inability to improvise. When counsel said that he had no further questions, the judge addressed us all.
“I’m not going to reserve, and I don’t think I need to tell everyone why. I think it will take about a minute for me to write a decision saying that the Earth is not flat. I’ll give you some more time after that, but after fifteen minutes, I”ll be back to render my decision.” He rose, everyone bowed, and he disappeared behind the door to judge’s chambers.
I pulled a piece of paper out of my file, and slammed it on the desk before Senior Counsel and his junior. “Fill in the blanks, and sign,” I said.
Dr. M’s head shot up at the commotion, and he shuffled over to see what was going on.
“What’s this?” Senior Counsel said, picking up the paper I gave him..
“Minutes of Settlement. You fill in a number, a big number, for the costs you gotta pay me. Your client signs, and then we’re done.” Senior Counsel opened his mouth to bargain, but I overrode him.
“You know your client’s going to lose; the judge made that obvious. Hurry up if you want to settle; we don’t have much time.”
At the end of most Canadian court cases, the loser has to pay at least part of the winner’s legal fees. That’s the way it’s been since forever, and I think it’s a good rule. Sy-Co Corp had lost, so it had to pay a good chunk of Ray’s costs, and Ray’s costs were somewhere between whatever bullshit figure I claimed they were, and where they actually ought to be. Senior Counsel took the paper over to his client. There was a brief discussion, and then they came back, with the form signed, and a number written in the blank space.
I’ll give it to Sy-Co Corp and their lawyer. It wasn’t a bullshit number, a low ball number. They gave me a real number, a number more like something I’d actually accept, a number that made sense to pay me in costs, in light of the success I’d had, and how I got it. It was a respectful number, a common sense number, and I appreciated it an awful lot.
I tossed the paper back at them.
“Add a zero,” I said, continuing on when Senior Counsel blanched, and his junior retreated a step. “I know what’s going on here. Your client sold mine a bullshit franchise, one with a history of failing.” The franchise had opened up again under a new owner not long after Ray had lost it and then it promptly failed again. Like I said at the start of this story, it’s an old story. It’s how some franchise companies make money. “Your client makes more money selling bullshit franchises doomed to fail, then it does from the honest ones that make money. So add a zero to that number, or Ray’s gonna sue you, class action and all that, for all the people you’ve fucked.”
The Head stepped forward from the benches and spoke to me.
“We get threats like that all the time, but no one follows through. They don’t have the money to fight us, and neither does your client. So go ahead and sue.”
“It’s true that Ray doesn’t have jack shit,” I said, “not a pot to piss in, but he’s my cousin, Ray is, and even if he doesn’t have money, he’s got me. Ray’s family, and for Ray, I’ll sue you guys for free. Hell, I’ll even pay the expenses. Plus I’m gonna put a jury notice in, too, come to think of it, ‘cause juries--”
Senior Counsel cut me off, and moved his client to the back of the courtroom. There was a brief discussion, and then they came back. I watched as Senior Counsel wrote a single digit on the Minutes, a zero, written right where I wanted it.
“You’ll have to initial the change,” I said to the Head of Sy-C0, and it gave me great satisfaction to watch him sign.
“Don’t forget,” I said the moment his pen stopped moving, “for the settlement to be valid, I need to get the money today. Right now.”
“Can’t it wait until tomorrow?” the Head said.
“Not if you want the settlement to stay in place. I’ll follow you back to your office, and you can put a cheque in my hands.”

• * * *

“What’s this?” my wife said when I entered the apartment later that day, after I’d driven Dr. M home, stopping first at a local pub for beers.
“It’s an absurdly expensive bunch of flowers,” I said, “although no flowers, however beautiful, however expensive, could expiate my--”
She took the flowers, and gave a kiss.
“My mom called. She told me what happened. You fixed things with my dad.”
“Yup,” I said. I had certainly done that. I’d made Dr. M a professor again, if only for a few minutes. Not only a professor, but an expert witness. The judge had declared him an expert in plain terms and Dr.M had beamed when he’d heard those words.
“And you won Ray’s case, too. But my mom didn’t know how, and I don’t know how you did it either.”
“I’ll tell you over dinner tonight,” I said.
“But we agreed no more dinners out; we have to save money, now that a baby’s coming.”
I passed her the envelope that I’d received a few hours before. She opened it, and took out a cheque, a cheque drawn up for an amount I specified, made payable to Mr. and Mrs. Calledinthe90s.
The moment I got that cheque, all I could think about was how my wife would react when I put it into her hands. I could not wait to see her eyes bulge, to hear her voice say “oh my god,” to hear her laugh.
She did none of these things. Instead, she cried.
“Does this mean we can buy a house?” The money wouldn’t be enough to buy a house, not nowadays, with prices being so crazy. But things were different back then in the 90s. Sure, the internet was barely a thing and cell phones were super expensive and a lot of things sucked, but I’ll give the nineties one thing: houses were cheap.
“I think so,” I said.

Hi guys, after losing brain cells trying to find information on how to install the Guppy screen, I wanted to show y'all how to do it on your own if you choose to. I may be wrong on some parts, but these are the things that worked for me. Thanks to wolfie_the_king_574 for telling me some of the steps on how to do it, but some of it didn't work for me. I also used Wiki for Creality Helper Script (guilouz.github.io) and ballaswag/guppyflo: GuppyFLO is a self-hosted service that enables local/remote management of multiple Klipper printers using Moonraker (github.com) and ballaswag/guppyscreen: A native Touch UI for 3D Printers running KlippeMoonraker. (github.com) on the steps for some of it and will be summarizing most of it. I will also be adding in the common downloads needed here for easy access as I was jumping all around to find it. [I'm not sure if you have to keep rebooting your printer during this process, but I'll take the safe way and do it anyways]
[Edit: I'm not sure why upon posting, that the numbers are all 1. but I can't change it so bare with me]

1. [1] Reset your entire Nebula Pad

• Download and unzip this file: Creality_K1_Reset_Utility.zip
• Open the file Creality_K1_Reset_Utility.html in your Internet browser.
• Make sure your printer is on, and put in your IP address and click reset.
• Reboot to make sure it has reset.
• Turn off your printer now.

1. [2] Reinstall the firmware for the Nebula Pad

• Download this Ender 3 V3 SE Firmware.
• Add the Ender3V3SE_firmware.bin file into your SD card and plug it into the printer.
• Choose the Ender 3 V3 SE logo on the next page. Put in your settings and update to the latest version.
• Turn off your printer.

1. [3] Now you want to root your Nebula Pad

• Click on this Destinal Root and download the first link in the description.
• There should be a white usb that came with the Nebula Pad. Plug that into your computer and format it in FAT32 with 4096 allocation size.
• Now copy the file into the usb and insert it into the side of the Nebula Pad.
• Turn on the printer and there should be a popup to upgrade.
• After it finishes upgrading, take the usb out or else it will keep having that popup.
• You can reboot if you want, I don't think you have to right now.

1. [4] Install PuTTY and go into Helperscript

• Click on this PuTTY Download and download the right one for you and install it.
• Next, when you open up PuTTY, enter the IP address for your printer and press enter. The IP address can be found where your wifi settings are on the Nebula Pad.
• It's going to say login as: and type in root
• Now it'll ask for the password which is creality
• Next, type in ./installer.sh to enter Helperscript

1. [5] Uninstall Moonraker, Fluid, Mainsail, and the Creality OS

• Type in 2 to get into the remove screen.
• Go one by one and type in 1 2 3 to remove each one respectively
• Type in b to go back to the main screen
• Type in 4 to enter the Customize screen and type in 3 to remove Creality OS
• Reboot

1. [6] Update Helperscript

• ssh back into the Nebula Pad using PuTTY
• Type in git config --global http.sslVerify false to avoid encountering an issue, I'm not sure what.
• Type in git clone --depth 1 https://github.com/Guilouz/Creality-Helper-Script.git /usdata/helper-script to install the script in the usdate folder.
• Type in sh /usdata/helper-script/helper.sh to run the script.
• There's two different way to now update the Helper Script
  • Go through the PuTTY, go through the user and password and enter ./installer.sh again and it should pop up with the update OR
  • When you access Fluidd or Mainsail, update it directly there.
  • You can access Fluidd by http://xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx:4408/ (replacing xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx by your local IP address).
    • Go in the Settings tab and go into Software Updates and click Update for Creality-Helper-Script.
  • You can access Mainsail by http://xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx:4409/(replacing xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx by your local IP address).
    • Go in the Machine tab and it should be there as well.
• Reboot

1. [7] Reinstall Moonraker, Fluid and/or Mainsail

• Go back into PuTTY, go back in the ./installer.sh, type in 1 to the installation screen and follow along for the installation of those. I don't think I have to baby steps that now.
• Reboot

1. [8] Update Everything

• Depending on if you use Fluidd or Mainsail, go back into those websites and update everything in the update section if it's not already updated.

1. [9] Install Anything Else + Guppy [FINALLY]

• Go back through PuTTY and into the Helper Script. Now you can also install anything you wanted to during. If you're unsure of what these mean, click on this Installer Definitions and look to the left side under "Install Menu" and look through whatever you want to.
• Some of these you won't have since this is meant for a different printer.
• You have to exit out of the Helper Script now by typing in q
• Now type in, to install GuppyFLO wget -O - https://raw.githubusercontent.com/ballaswag/guppyflo/main/installer.sh sh
• Now type in, to install the Guppy Screen and it should change your Nebula Pad to horizontal format and have you calibrate it touching cursors.sh -c "$(wget --no-check-certificate -qO - https://raw.githubusercontent.com/ballaswag/guppyscreen/main/installer.sh)"

1. [10] How to Connect to it on the Internet (I copied this straight this)

• Create a Tailscale account: Create Tailscale Account
• Install Tailscale application depending device(s) you want to use for remote access: Download Tailscale App
• Search up http://xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx:9873 (by replacing xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx by your printer's local IP address) to access the GuppyFLO Web interface
• Then, click on authenticate link to register GuppyFLO instance to Tailscale
• You will be redirected to the Tailscale website to connect device by clicking on Connect button
• Go to to your Tailscale Admin console here: Tailscale Admin Console
• There you will see the connected devices and their respective IP addresses:
  • guppyflo → Your printer
  • IP address assigned to your printer
  • The devices you have connected to Tailscale (here my mobile phone)
  • The IP addresses assigned to the devices you have connected
• Go to Tailscale DNS settings tab and enable MagicDNS feature
• Go back to GuppyFLO Web interface and click on Add Printer button
• Configure settings and click on Save button
• You can now connect to GuppyFlo Web interface remotely with http://guppyflo URL

Now this should be everything! Be sure to visit this Website or Demo Video or Website to understand how the screen works, how to connect to it with pictures, and whatnot.
Let me know if I did anything wrong, but these are the steps that worked for me.

tl;dr - I got fired 7 months ago and today I received a cease and desist from my former employer’s lawyer, accusing me of logo misuse and harassing former colleagues, including bizarre claims of "misdirected revenge." I've never harassed employees and need advice on how to proceed.
Hey everyone,
A little background - I worked in marketing for a home builder for about a year and a half. Last October, I took a bereavement day, and when I came back, I found out I was let go because I missed a meeting I was supposed to lead on that bereavement day. That was seven months ago, and since then, I've moved on to a new job and tried to put everything behind me.
But then, out of the blue, I received this official-looking cease and desist letter from my old employer's lawyer. They're saying I misused their logo on my portfolio site, which, to be honest, I did. After I left the company, I wanted to update my portfolio to showcase the work I did for them, so I included some stuff with their logo. I know I wasn't exactly allowed to, but I had a lot of work from my time there, and I was just trying to find a new job after getting let go. So for now, I password protected my site until I can figure out how to blur out all the logos.
That was honestly to be expected. What really has me confused are their other accusations of harassing former colleagues. The letter says I did all sorts of crazy things like “misdirected revenge”, publishing employees' cell phone numbers to mess with vehicle sales (???), and registering personal addresses and phone numbers with sales services. I've never even heard of anything like that, let alone done it. I'm totally confused as to where these accusations are coming from.
And isn't it kinda odd that they're checking out my personal website seven months after I left?
I'm feeling pretty lost and confused about all this. Should I get a lawyer and respond to all this, or just it go? Any advice or similar experiences would be a huge help.
Thank you!

This takes a small amount of preparation but it is worth it to keep your own voice number while travelling. The savings in roaming fees and convenience of not giving out a new number to your friends and family is fantastic. Use these steps BEFORE leaving your home country. Follow these steps, use the amazing Airalo service along with the code.
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Step 2. Forward all voice calls to your VOIP (Textnow) number. This way anybody who calls your cell phone gets forwarded via data only when they call your number. Test the forwarding ability to your Textnow number before you leave your home country/region. Have someone call your cell phone. It should forward and ring your Textnow number on your phone.
Step 3. Get an Airalo data package for your travel region and activate it. Use code RAYMON1670 when you sign up or apply it at checkout to save $3 USD on your data package.
Step 4. Just before travelling, TURN OFF your sim card or better yet eject it if it's a physical sim to ensure you get no roaming charges inadvertently.
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Step 6. Reverse steps 4 to 1 upon returning to your home country.
This is a tried and tested method I have used myself.
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This is a great sub with great folks and great posts. But, we’ve had a bunch of odd and low quality posts recently compared to years past. This is a PG-13 sub for local events, places, history, culture, and interests.
Please be considerate of the following: - No personal or adult ads…nuff said - Look up reviews on sites like Yelp, Google, and Facebook before asking for reviews…AI accounts are flooding reddit with reverse spam - Have a descriptive title…if your post doesn’t match your title, your post will be removed - No business or political ads…local events ok - No survey links. - BE KIND…troll posts and comments will be removed - Asking for direct messages (DM) will get your post/comment removed for safety reasons - Lost pet/people posts with any phone number or email other than police/animal welfare will be removed for safety reasons - Doom/gloom/conspiracy posts will be removed
If you just moved here, check through the sub for recommendations on certain areas. Repeats of commonly asked questions will be removed.
And yes, all of the internet providers and cell providers down here suck. Call them, complain to the FCC, and leave reviews with the BBB. We’re in a rural area which means rural internet.
Every so often, I go through old posts and prune out things like garage sales and old review posts. If your post got deleted, it’s just cleaning house :)

Hey there...I need some advice about this. My boyfriend (35M) and I (30F) have been together for about 10 months. I started dating him a year after I got divorced from a very unfaithful man. Ex-husband cheated on me (online and physically) for the entire 7 years we'd been together (married for 2). Yes, I was stuck in a very unhealthy cycle with this man. I regret sticking it out past the first year and I've been in counseling since before the divorce. I know where I chose to ignore all the red flags by the time I found out he had cheated on me. I've been working hard to do what's right for me since. By the time we got divorced, I was so unattached, I really do believe I just stayed because it was what I knew for so long.
My counselor has been with me every step of the way during my dating journey after the divorce, and I'm brutally honest with her about everything because I don't want to make the same mistakes again. My nervous system is triggered by small things here and there still, and my boyfriend and I have been able to with through them and talk things out for the past 10 months. He knows my history and how badly I was hurt by my ex-husband (self- inflicted after the first time I caught him cheating with a girl from his hometown, I'll admit.)
My boyfriend, who has been nothing but warm, doting, patient, and consistent with me since the beginning, was also hurt pretty badly by his ex. He proposed and she took off with the expensive ring without telling him that she was leaving for good. She was in another relationship quickly after she dumped him over the phone a while later.
We agreed to be open about our cell phones, and we talked about all that a couple of months into the relationship. I'd never had a feeling in my gut that he was hiding something at all, and if I did have a question about something, he was quick to say that I could look through his phone if it made me feel more secure.
The other day, I reached for his phone to take a photo of us, and he grabbed it out of my hands, nervously saying that he'd just take the photo since I was laying down. My gut squirmed instantly. Then he told me I could look through his phone if I wanted to. So I did. I am always open with him about my phone, and he's always been open about his until this weird little interaction.
Initially, I saw he was just hiding some porn he was watching (I don't care about that, I watch a little porn sometimes, too. He gets embarrassed easily about that stuff, so I give him a hard time about it and joke with him. He is really shy when it comes to porn, but I like that about him. If anything, I've even mentioned we should watch it together just to see him blush.) So I didn't think too much of it.
Then, I saw in his Instagram messages that he had sent a few kissy face emojis along with a "Happy New Year!" to some lady. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, and figured maybe it was just an old friend. He has a lot of older ranch friends from the area he's from, so I chalked it up to that. Turns out, she had lightly been putting it out there to him the week before my birthday, saying he checked off a bunch of things on her wishlist, but she wanted to know if he could ride horses. He didn't respond right away, but he did respond a few days later with a photo of him on horseback. This back and forth went on for about a month, where they'd take a few days to respond to each other, and it seemed pretty harmless, but still a little flirtatious, talking about riding horses and how they both like air planes. She was obviously flirting from the get go. He wouldn't respond initially, and she'd send another message to try and get his attention again.
She gave him her number, and he gave her his number on my birthday. We were together that day. So that stung quite a bit. He called her cute as hell at one point, and they sent each other a selfie of just their faces. They fell off from talking right after that, except for when she wished him a merry Christmas, happy new year, which he responded to once each (the new years one had the kissy emojis), and that was it. The weird thing is, she's an older lady than me, like in her 50s (nothing against older ladies here at all), and she's not attractive. She tried to reach out again one more time for Valentines Day, and he didn't respond. He continued to interact with liking her photos on instagram every once in a while. Most of the time she's on horseback or hiking somewhere. He likes everyone's photos, though, except for Instagram models because he knows that I don't feel respected when that happens, so I'm not sure what to think of it.
I took screenshots, and showed them to one of our mutual friends to get some perspective. She said that it seemed pretty harmless, but it still crosses a line. She said she'd be hurt, too, if her husband did that. She also said that she doesn't think my boyfriend would ever physically do anything with anyone like my ex did. She said I need to decide if I can forgive him or not, and work on building trust with each other if I did forgive him and if I felt like he was trustworthy after a while.
I confronted him, and he said he didn't remember it (even though he deleted the thread at that point). I told him he was hiding something, and I had pictures of it all. He told me he didn't want me to think that there was anything going on between him and this old lady, and it wasn't carrying on at all (which I believe). I told him what's hurts me more is that he tried to hide it and he wasn't upfront about it. He told me he was just bantering and it was more of a joking back and forth than anything. Needless to say my nervous system is shot from this whole thing. It's May now, and these messages happened back in September (besides Christmas and New Years). I didn't see anything else that rang any alarms in me, but I'm still hurt that he'd hide something dumb like that.
I've contemplated just leaving, and he knows that. He was devastated to find out that I was thinking that, and he started to cry so hard it took me by surprise, but I told him this feels too familiar for me and scares the living sh*t out of me. He said he'd do anything he had to to build up that bit of trust he took, including couples counseling. He said I could just take his phone if I wanted to. But I don't want to do that. I don't see my counselor for another week, and I don't want to drag family into this. I know from other threads people will say to just leave, but I'm struggling with that. No excuses for hiding it, but it was harmless and she's not attractive, so I don't feel threatened that he'd try to go after her or something. I believe she lives in another country. It just seems so dumb to lie and hide something like this. Am I overreacting?