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2024.05.07 00:30 _Revelator_ Clarkson's Columns: The Lamborghini Huracán Tecnica review & I don’t need to see your wedding tackle
The Lamborghini Huracán Tecnica — they’ve created a monster. I love it. submitted by _Revelator_ to thegrandtour [link] [comments] By Jeremy Clarkson (The Sunday Times, May 5) In recent weeks people with annoying adenoids and tape measures have explained that the average width of the modern car is now 200cm, which means they are too wide to fit into a standard 180cm wide city street parking bay. Naturally this demand for ever-larger cars is deemed to be stupid and all the fault of Israel and the Tories and bankers who want us in bigger and bigger Chelsea tractors so we can more effectively bully cyclists and hard-working members of the BLT+ community. Well, that’s nonsense. The only reason cars are getting bigger is so there’s enough room inside to house all the airbags and side-impact protection bars and crumple zones and those funny little cables that pull the pedals away from your feet when you hit a tree. Safe spaces are what people demand these days, whether they are in a public lavatory or at work. And especially in a car. There’s an expectation that you should be able to drive your family saloon off Beachy Head and emerge from the impact with no injury that can’t be mended with a small sticking plaster. So yes. It’s a nuisance when you park your enormous Renault in a parking space and the only way out is through the sunroof. And it’s annoying when you find your new Range Rover barely fits through most of London’s width restrictions. But the reason for this is your safety. So you have to conclude that, all things considered, it’s a price worth paying. Or is it? I mean it is for your children, obviously. You want them to be in a motorised bouncy castle on the road. But I wonder. Do I enjoy feeling safe? I’m not sure I do. I think that’s what made me fall in love with cars in the first place. Because they were a little bit dangerous. I don’t think I’m alone. Today, all new cars come with “driver aids” that beep when you break the speed limit, tug at the wheel when you stray out of your lane or apply the brakes if sensors think you’re about to crash. And a recent survey found that 41 per cent of us turn these features off before setting off on a journey. They’re there to save our lives and we don’t want that. If you are a proper petrolhead, you don’t want any sort of environmentally minded propulsion system either. You don’t want a turbocharger or an electric motor or a system that harnesses energy every time you press the brake pedal, because all these things are interfering with the purity of the driving experience. It’s condom sex. Sensible and safe for sure, but when it comes to the environment, I’ll have a proper car and do my bit for the planet by eating more meat or turning the central heating down a bit. And that brings me on to the Lamborghini Huracán Tecnica. A few years ago I sat next to a Lambo boss at a Sunday Times dinner and he told me that if his paymasters at Volkswagen “ever force me to make an electric car, I will shoot myself”. Well, sorry mate, you’d better oil your service revolver because Lambo will soon go down the electric route. This, then, is the last of the monsters. No turbo. No hybrid drive. No beeping onboard nanny. And a very real sense that if you get a corner wrong you’ll be going through the pearly gates at 200mph with your trousers on fire. https://preview.redd.it/63yp9r93uvyc1.jpg?width=1022&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=375a34a87796af36dd10cd040ea2441ae5de5bd9 Let’s begin with the engine. It’s a V10, and I think we are in agreement that this is the best possible configuration, partly because of inherent balance and partly because of reduced reciprocating forces. But mainly because of the soundtrack. Formula One never sounded better than it did when the cars had V10s and the Lexus LFA is the best car I’ve ever driven, principally because of the sound its V10 engine made. And then there’s the BMW M5. There have been many brilliant incarnations of this car over the years but peak M5 arrived, I think, when it had a V10. The Lambo uses a 5.2-litre version that sends all of its 630 brake horsepowers to the rear wheels. Most Hurácans have four-wheel drive. But this one doesn’t. This one is designed so you can do big, dangerous skids. So you’re probably thinking that it’s going to be as well-appointed inside as a chest freezer. I did too. But it isn’t. There’s hand-stitched leather and electric seats and a dash-mounted iPad thing that controls all the stuff you’re used to these days. It’s actually quite intuitive too. And best of all you can actually see what’s coming at oblique junctions. That’s pretty much a first for a mid-engined supercar. So, it’s civilised then? Not really. It starts with the roar of a sci-fi space alien, settles down to a gentle rumble and then starts roaring again every time you go near the throttle. It’s a magnificent sound and when you put it in Sport or Track mode it gets even better. The only problem is that when you do that you put the suspension in an “uncomfortable” setting. This is because the Hurácan was conceived at a time when it was not possible to make the engine sporty and the suspension not. I settled, after two yards, for Street mode and fell in love. Because the Hurácan is old and therefore unburdened with all the legislative nonsense that burdens other cars, it feels dainty. And light. And carefree. The back may be singing something volcanic but the front feels as darty as a dragonfly. Couple this exquisite lightness of being to four-wheel steering and you end up with a car that, at first, is quite hard to place on the road. The steering wheel is like the joystick on a Hughes 500 helicopter. You don’t move it to change direction. You just think about moving it. https://preview.redd.it/b8k7940auvyc1.jpg?width=972&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b6a75ac36cbcbee09b4bf4f6e660d90b63c71d9b Eventually you get the hang of it and the result is bliss. I was coming back from a meeting on a road I used to use when I was on Performance Car magazine. It’s a road still used today by Harry Metcalfe for his YouTube car reviews and I noticed I was being followed quite closely by some kind of hatchback. I wasn’t really pushing it and I’m 64 so way beyond showing off, but I noticed that in the bends, which felt comfortable for the Huracán, the hatchback looked like that boat George Clooney had in The Perfect Storm. All over the place. Hope he had a lot of airbags in there. Drawbacks. Well, much is made of the styling and technical differences between this and a normal Huracán. But they aren’t that obvious. Also, it’s expensive, thirsty and if you’re big (fat) it’s a bugger to get out of. But that’s as it should be with cars of this type. So there we are. A brilliant car. A poster car. And an old-fashioned, dangerous car. And, best of all, a gigantic middle-finger salute to the future. The Clarksometer: Lamborghini Huracán Tecnica Engine: 5204cc, V10, petrol Power: 630bhp @ 8000rpm Torque: 417 lb ft @ 6500rpm Acceleration: 0-62mph: 3.2sec Top speed: 202mph Fuel: 19.5mpg CO₂: 328g/km Weight: 1,379kg Price: £213,600 Release date: On sale now Jeremy's rating: ★★★★★ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Sorry, but I don’t need to see your wedding tackle Jeremy Clarkson (The Sunday Times, May 5) I’m not sure why anyone would want to get married in the nude. Maybe the cost of living crisis means you’re forced to choose between a dress and a honeymoon. But whatever the reason, it’s now possible, thanks to an enlightened mayor in Sardinia who’s announced that couples can tie the knot on a beach in his manor while wearing nothing at all. Except the bride must have a veil. He’s adamant about that. Nudism has become a big thing in Italy, apparently. We are told that 600,000 people over there go about their business naked. I’ve never seen any evidence of this myself. All the policemen that have stopped me for motoring misdemeanours in Italy have been clothed, as have all of the waiters in all of the restaurants I’ve visited. However, we are told that if you go to a beach in Tuscany these days and wear swimming trunks, people will look at you as if you are mad. Which you are if you go to a Tuscan beach, because they are all terrible. But back to this nakedness. How do we feel about that? Relaxed? Or revolted? When I was growing up, nudity was everywhere. In every BBC Play for Today there would be a bit of dialogue and then, all of a sudden, someone with a Seventies welcome mat between their legs would breeze through the door and start arranging flowers or making tea. Today, we have warnings before every show about all of the horrors that lie ahead. We’re told that we are going to see nudity and smoking, and that there may be drug “misuse”. Which I always think will be a scene of someone injecting heroin with the wrong end of a syringe. We had none of that before Bouquet of Barbed Wire. The theme music ended and immediately Susan Penhaligon whipped her jumper off. I wouldn’t have been even slightly surprised had Kenneth Kendall presented the evening news in the nude. It was normal. And it was especially normal at the cinema. I was taken at the age of 11 to see a film about the early life of Winston Churchill. It was all tally-ho and biffing the Boers and then all of a sudden a young lady got her breasts out. Then there was Vanishing Point. A huge car chase across western America. A tremendous pounding V8 soundtrack. Epic vistas. And then, for no reason at all, a naked woman on a motorcycle. That’s how things were then. I’m surprised they didn’t get a bit of topless action into Morning Departure. Today we are told on an hourly basis that our children are subjected to far too much online titillation. But back in the day, if you went into a newsagent’s or a petrol station to buy a Sherbet Fountain and some Spangles, one whole wall would invariably be plastered with a seemingly endless selection of girlie magazines. One was called H&E, which stood for Health and Efficiency. Aimed at the nudist community, it was full of pictures of healthy and slightly Aryan-looking families playing naked swingball and doing leapfrogs over one another. It was completely unsexual in tone. And to demonstrate just how unsexual, there were an awful lot of naked children in there. Hmmm. But at the time, you could read it without shame while listening to Gilbert O’Sullivan singing about his love for Clair. Who was his manager’s three-year-old daughter. “But why in spite of our age difference do I cry?/ Each time I leave you, I feel I could die/ Nothing means more to me than hearing you say,/ ‘I’m going to marry you. Will you marry me, Uncle Ray?’/ Oh, Clair.” In 1972, when that song was released, we all thought it was lovely that a fully grown man would write a touching love song about a small child. But now we are more nuanced, more cynical, more aware. Which is why we all read the lyrics today and think: “Hang on a minute.” And I think we’ve seen a similar change in attitude towards nudity. When Susan Penhaligon appeared topless, we all thought: “Oh dear, the poor girl is probably a bit warm in all that cheesecloth.” Whereas if it happened now, we’d think the director was obviously a pervert and that the poor girl was being abused. Nudity is now frowned upon. If you go to Juan-les-Pins this summer, you’ll see very few women in carefully designed topless swimsuits. The days of Brigitte Bardot letting it all hang out are over. Yes, there are still beaches where you can lie on the sand in the nude, but these are mainly for people who are melanoma enthusiasts, German or mad. Why do you think nudist beaches are so remote and difficult to access? It’s not that we don’t want to see all those bits. It’s that we don’t want to see the people the bits are attached to. I once accidentally stumbled onto a nude beach in the south of France. And noticed that all the chaps had tied cotton tightly around the base of their penises. I have no idea why they might have done this, but it didn’t strike me as normal behaviour. Then I went with A.A. Gill to a nudist beach on Mykonos, where we encountered a young man wearing only motorcycle boots. So let’s think about that. He’d decided to go to the beach and thought: “What do I need? Sun cream. Towel. And motorcycle boots.” That’s not the thought process of someone who’s sane. Public nudity used to be mainstream. Even Jenny Agutter did it. But it isn’t any more. It’s been hijacked by the lunatic fringe. So when you think of a naked couple getting married on a sun-kissed Sardinian beach, do not picture in your mind a bridegroom who has the pecs of Apollo and the eyes of Franco Nero. Picture instead someone who looks like Silvio Berlusconi. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ And here's the Sun column. Clarkson's columns are regularly collected as books. You can buy them from his boss or your local bookshop. |
2024.05.05 19:36 PracticalCows What's your dating hot take? Something you believe from your own dating experiences that this sub would typically disagree with?
2024.05.03 21:17 yadavvenugopal Ryan Toomey's Favorite Movies About Space Exploration
While space travel might still be a distant reality for most of us, the magic of cinema can transport us to these far-off realms from the comfort of our living rooms. In this article, we dive into my top five movies about space exploration, each offering a unique perspective on the universe and our place within it. submitted by yadavvenugopal to themoviejunkiedotcom [link] [comments] From the tense survival drama of "Apollo 13" to the mind-bending voyages of "Interstellar" and "2001: A Space Odyssey," these films do more than entertain; they expand our sense of wonder and challenge our imagination. PS: Ryan Toomey from Upbeat Geek has written this amazing article for us! Movies about Space Exploration1. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)Directed by Stanley Kubrick, "2001: A Space Odyssey" is a monumental sci-fi epic that follows the journey of the spaceship Discovery One, bound for Jupiter. https://preview.redd.it/evq7ch45g9yc1.png?width=908&format=png&auto=webp&s=876926cbc3babf464f8d6096f49de436f18e71a1 With a cast that includes Keir Dullea and Gary Lockwood, the film is renowned for its groundbreaking visual effects, deep philosophical questions, and the iconic, yet enigmatic artificial intelligence antagonist, HAL 9000. Its innovative storytelling and the majestic scope of space exploration make it a seminal work in the genre of space cinema. You might enjoy The Original Lost in Space Series (1965-68) by Irwin Allen 2. Apollo 13 (1995)Ron Howard's "Apollo 13" dramatically recounts the real-life crisis that unfolded aboard the Apollo 13 lunar mission in 1970. https://preview.redd.it/swgjnxkfg9yc1.png?width=378&format=png&auto=webp&s=c49d24dffc616713c8a466d2404b658f12a70144 Starring Tom Hanks, Kevin Bacon, and Bill Paxton as astronauts Jim Lovell, Jack Swigert, and Fred Haise, the film captures the crew's tense and precarious situations as they work towards a safe return to Earth following a catastrophic spacecraft malfunction. The film is a tribute to the ingenuity and determination of NASA and its astronauts, making it an inspiring and memorable space-themed movie. 3. Gravity (2013)In "Gravity," Sandra Bullock and George Clooney star as astronauts stranded in space after their space shuttle is destroyed. Directed by Alfonso Cuarón, this film is an intense and emotive survival story that captivates viewers with its almost tangible depiction of space's vast emptiness and hostility. https://preview.redd.it/tqsx4x1jg9yc1.png?width=511&format=png&auto=webp&s=64e874ce58fb571bef3f826a95cf0c9df5f9c7d3 The movie's use of 3D technology and stunning cinematography not only immerses viewers in the terrifying beauty of space but also highlights the isolation and fragility of human life in the cosmos. 4. Interstellar (2014)Venturing through wormholes and confronting the relativity of time, "Interstellar" is one of Christopher Nolan’s best movies that explores the limits of human exploration as Earth nears its end. https://preview.redd.it/embas0rmg9yc1.png?width=610&format=png&auto=webp&s=77b7492f135eb1c9bb7cd2c7671db1f1ce98c4cd Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Chastain, and Michael Caine deliver powerful performances, portraying astronauts and scientists on a quest to find a new habitable planet. The film is celebrated for its scientific accuracy, particularly the depiction of black holes and time dilation, making it a thrilling and thought-provoking space movie. 5. The Martian (2015)Based on Andy Weir's novel, "The Martian" tells the story of Mark Watney, a botanist and astronaut played by Matt Damon, who is mistakenly presumed dead and left behind on Mars. https://preview.redd.it/v6e8u53pg9yc1.png?width=462&format=png&auto=webp&s=f9f4c3289a66a93fbd459b282580654a3e36ebb6 The film details his struggle for survival under harsh conditions while cultivating food and finding ways to communicate with Earth. Directed by Ridley Scott, the movie combines humor, science, and human perseverance, offering a compelling and technically detailed portrayal of life on Mars and the challenges of interplanetary travel. Like this review?Subscribe to themoviejunkie.com! Achievements in Space ExplorationWe as a species have always had a deep need to explore and have acted on the same through significant milestones in space exploration. Here are some notable achievements in space travel and space exploration:1. 1969 Apollo 11 Neil Armstrong made history when he became the first person to set foot on the moon as part of the Apollo 11 mission. Check out My Top 5 Favorite Sci-Fi Movies 2. Voyager 1 and 2 One of the coolest missions to date, The Voyager Mission involved sending out space probes to study the Jovian (Jupiter) systems followed by interstellar exploration. https://preview.redd.it/daj8brqrg9yc1.png?width=752&format=png&auto=webp&s=1a2f3c8fb1b0385cab3a919995602f4ee626b58e Voyager 1 had an intergalactic encyclopedia with even a golden disk that contained all the sounds of Earth and information about our planet. Going by the Netflix series 3 Body Problem, it is highly probable that it might be an intergalactic dinner bell for stronger aliens to eliminate us. But I guess time will tell! 3. Mars Pathfinder, Sojourner rover Launched on December 4, 1996, it landed on the surface of Mars on July 4, 1997, leading to the coolest RC car of all time being operated from the Earth on another planet. It collected invaluable data about the red planet laying the foundation for decades of active research. Read Top 10 Moon Movies With Plots Revolving around the Earth's Moon 4. The European Space Agency's Rosetta The closest thing to the cool concept of space travel and the terrible movie Armageddon, the ESA’s Rosetta was the first spaceship to launch a probe (Philae) to intercept and land on a comet and transmit data back to Earth. 5. JWST The James Webb Space Telescope is a sea change in space observation using IR imaging to generate detailed visuals of intergalactic space. https://preview.redd.it/nlr8p0rvg9yc1.png?width=671&format=png&auto=webp&s=6fee82e84e11575980e87a3163e9705cf79e33f5 Delivering images that are exponentially more detailed than the Hubble Telescope, JWST is a significant leap in space exploration technologies. Read The Irwin Allen Lost in Space Legacy Wrapping UpMovies about space exploration do more than dazzle us with stunning visuals and thrilling plot twists. They challenge our perceptions, test the human spirit, and ignite our curiosity about what lies beyond our world.Whether you're a seasoned astronaut in spirit or a newcomer to the genre, there's endless wonder to be found in the stars. What will be your next interstellar adventure? Author Bio https://preview.redd.it/8s2blm60h9yc1.png?width=351&format=png&auto=webp&s=5bb74ffa3986bb8d246c60da0a6b7c784513ddcc Ryan Toomey is Upbeat Geek’s owner & editor and connoisseur of TV, movies, hip-hop, and comic books, crafting content that spans reviews, analyses, and engaging reads in these domains. With a background in digital marketing and UX design, Ryan’s passions extend to exploring new locales, enjoying music, and catching the latest films at the cinema. He’s dedicated to delivering insights and entertainment across the realms he writes about TV, movies, and comic books. Like this review?Subscribe to themoviejunkie.com! |
2024.05.02 16:59 TheVampyresBride Trying to watch more Harvey Keitel movies and need some recommendations.
2024.04.30 04:53 True_Entrepreneur826 There’s a Golden Girls actor in every MSW episode
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2024.04.16 06:08 MacGrath1994 97th Academy Awards and 45th Golden Raspberry Awards - my current predictions
2024.04.16 06:08 MacGrath1994 97th Academy Awards and 45th Golden Raspberry Awards - my current predictions
2024.04.15 05:06 critical_courtney [A Bargain for Wings] — Chapter Seventeen (sequel to The Fae Queen's Pet)
submitted by critical_courtney to redditserials [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/rtsl8mrk7kuc1.jpg?width=1410&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9da13f74166a41ab76d7b2dc36d278a0693a61a6 Previous Chapter My Discord Buy me a cup of coffee (if you want) Chapter Seventeen: I’d never been on a ship before. Sure, I’d watched a few at Naval Base Kitsap when I dated a girl serving her country. But it’s not like civilians are invited to come aboard. And those ships were much different than the Jolly Roger I now found myself inside of. The captain’s quarters were more spacious than I expected. Five glass lanterns hung lit throughout the cabin with most of the light concentrated on a large round desk in the center of the room. Captain Smee sat behind the desk in a plush red chair nailed to the floor. Behind him, large windows covered in red curtains tried to let in even more light. Smells of lumber and parchment filled my nostrils as I gazed around. To my left sat a large hammock and a chest of the captain’s personal effects. A small painting of a man with long charcoal hair and a hook for a hand hung near the entrance with several knives sticking out from it. The painting looked rather old and worn. If I expected squeaky floorboards when Smee set my birdcage down on the table, I came away shocked. His floor was quiet as a mouse with each step he took. The captain wasn’t rough in his carrying the cage, either. He didn’t swing it or jiggle things around so I’d fall into the bars. He carried it securely with a tight grip. I watched the man reach into his heavy oak chest, fetch a glass and a bottle with a “Captain’s Hooch” label, and stroll back to the table without eyeing me once. He poured himself a drink, took exactly two sips, and sighed. “You know, Sylva. Can I let you in on a secret? I hate this place.” That wasn’t the opener I expected from a captain who had every ability to torture and kill me for a book I didn’t possess. “Why?” I asked, daring to find my voice. Smee didn’t look upset at my asking. He just took another drink before answering. “Too many fucking birds. Everywhere I look, there are crows cawing through the trees, magpies hopping through the grass, and yes, ravens, that perch on every building, like they’re always watching. It leaves me feeling itchy and cramped. This is a big capital city, and I feel like I can’t take three steps without smelling or hearing those goddamn birds. It’s maddening.” I hadn’t really noticed that until Smee brought it up. But he was right. Whether it was jays, jackdaws, treepies, or nutcrackers, birds seemed to fill every inch of this city, regardless of the elves they flew over. “The Crocodile Court and Never Court aren’t like this. They’re smaller islands, and most of the birds were hunted to death years ago. You can actually find places of quiet. So you can understand why I’m eager to retrieve my king’s book and be on my way. The weeks I’ve tarried here have been more trying than anything else in my career as a captain, save for killing James and taking the ship, of course.” Smee turned his head sharply to the right and cracked his neck. “Yup. That’s the good stuff. Personally, I don’t give a rat’s ass about some old tome, Sylva. When you and Pann broke into the king’s library and smuggled it out, I found it rather amusing. But the Crocodile King, like many fae, is rather possessive of his treasure. So, I was forced to halt my efforts to seize the Never Court, and sent to retrieve the accursed book.” Gods, this book has inconvenienced more people than I imagined, I thought. Audibly gulping, I pondered what I would say. Would he believe that I used to be human? Could I tell him the book was in Washington? Would he even know where that was? “So, let’s have it, then. The Never Prince claims you stole the Book of Tevaedah from him and hid it, a brilliantly executed double-cross, a maneuver of which, I’m a big fan. Now, I could employ all manner of discomfort to make you tell me where it is. Gods know that I broke any number of James’ men, ripping out toenails, pouring liquid fire into their eyes, choking them with their own hair, etc. “But torture takes time to guarantee results. And I’m nothing, if not, a practical man. Therefore, I propose a simple bargain. Tell me where to retrieve the tome. And when I have it, I’ll dump you onto the docks, sail away, and our paths will likely never cross again. I’ll even pin the entire theft on Pann. How does that sound?” After how quickly Pann had given me up, that sounded like a pretty good deal. But if I told Smee where to find the book in the human world, would he send men to retrieve it? Sylva probably deserved to deal with that level of bullshit, but Blake certainly didn’t. And I was under no pretenses Smee’s men would make distinctions between ex-fairies and full-time mortals when it came to getting in the way of their job. Or maybe Smee’s men wouldn’t go to the human world. Could they even return to the mortal world? I guess that was a risk I’d have to take telling the truth. “Captain, I’m sorry to tell you this, but I’m not Sylva.” “Oh?” he asked, neither angry nor amused. He took another drink of his hooch while he waited for me to spin my yarn. “My name is Anola. I’m a former human that Sylva used the Book of Tevaedah to trade lives with. Two weeks ago, she interrupted my wedding and stole my body, dumping my soul into hers. Shortly after, Sylva tossed me down a hole in a tree, and I fell into Faerie. I assume she’s still living my life back in the mortal world and has the book there. But I can’t be sure as long as I’m here.” The captain leaned back and stroked his chin. “That’s an interesting tale, tiny piskie. I hear many stories sailing from port to port under the banner of the Crocodile King. This world is filled with much madness. And for a time, I found it entertaining. But I eventually came to realize madness is only ever really fun for the people on top. It tends to make life more difficult for underlings. That’s why I decided to stop being one.” “So you believe me?” Smee shrugged. “What you say is possible, I suppose. The book is supposed to be an extremely powerful relic made by a witch long since dead. Or, you could be yanking me. Seems the best odds I give it are 50/50, you’re speaking the truth.” My heart sank. What would he do if he decided I wasn’t telling the truth? Shaking the birdcage and throwing me into the iron bars would be just the start of what this man was capable of. Perhaps what I found most terrifying about Smee was his brand of evil was quiet and calculating. In the cartoon, his former boss was always portrayed as a loud, irate man who squandered every chance at defeating Pann due to his impetuous nature. Smee didn’t have that. If he wanted to be cruel, he simply would be. There’d be no need to make a show about it, whether he was hanging a man by his entrails or cutting out tiny pieces of a prisoner’s tongue every day until they broke. I opened my mouth to speak when my runeeye activated without warning, a loud popping noise filling the birdcage and sending a rattle of glamour that dispersed upon hitting an iron boundary. Looking at the iron cage around me, I saw natural glamour in the air poisoned by the very presence of this corrosive substance. The bars took on an extra visible layer of cruelty within my runesight, appearing less like wire and more like knotted coal and rust. Wait a minute, I thought. I’ve seen something like this before. Smee’s words snapped my attention back to the pirate captain. “That’s an interesting look. Are those tiny stars in your eye going to help you remember something else about the book’s location?” Smee asked, draining his glass. Before I could answer, a new vision spread before me, a chalkboard-sized ghostly parchment with scribbles that looked like my handwriting scattered everywhere. Words like “Kilgara” and “Raven Queen” hovered over lines that slowly connected paragraphs and other tiny pieces of information. I glanced at different pieces and found it hard to process the parchment as a whole. This felt like seeing medieval Jarvis lay out everything I knew about Faerie and my place in it so far. Tracing lines passed from Kilgara to Raven Queen and then circled the words “boon” and “Queen Bon-Hwa.” Details of bargains and favors I hadn’t considered passed before my eyes. Other words appeared in my periphery like “war” and “Fist of Kairn.” Everything intersected closer to the end where “chaos” became the biggest word of all. But it all started with the phrase “iron sickness.” “That’s a queer look you’re wearing, little elf. Are you looking at something my mortal eyes can’t see?” He sounded perfectly patient, but under his tone was a hint of malice that promised pain if I didn’t start making more sense soon. Curiosity could easily be replaced with animus. But amid all the words and information I saw on this. . . let’s call it a specter roadmap, one was noticeably missing. . . Smee. “You’re not a part of this story,” I said, my mouth feeling like it was on autopilot again, as it had been when I stood before Varella. “At least, not for much longer. You are an insignificant bump on the path to much more grand and troubling issues. Check your place, mortal. For the lakes and seas, you’ve called home, despite being an unwelcome guest, will soon be rid of you. Oh, he who plays at being a pirate captain, you will soon find yourself plucked from Faerie as a splinter from an agitated thumb.” Coughing and scratching my neck, I looked up to see Smee raising an eyebrow. “Well, that’s not a language I’ve heard spoken before. Would you care to enlighten me on how a human would speak in a tongue like that?” Instead of answering, I stared through the polished wood of Smee’s bedroom wall and found a massive concentration of glamour standing on the docks outside. The glamour writhed and twisted about like an impatient serpent. “Anola? Are you done speaking to me?” “There’s no need for us to continue talking. Queen Bon-Hwa is here.” The captain raised his eyebrow. “And how can you be sure of that?” Before he could ask a second time, a knock at the door interrupted our conversation. Smee grimaced. “Come in.” A shirtless man with skin the color of rice walked in through the door. His brown shorts were tattered, and a large scar ran across his ribs. Curly red hair bounced around him as he walked toward us. “What is it, Starkey?” “We found her, sir, exactly where you said. What do you want us to do?” Smee grinned, and I shivered as that calculating cruelty revealed itself in stronger form. His eyes seemed to grow while the captain pondered his options for whatever it was his crew had found. “Tied her up below deck. Remember those chains I told you to fetch?” “Aye, sir. I’ll see it done.” With that, Starkey turned to leave. Just before he exited the captain’s quarter, he turned back toward us. “Oh, and sir? The Raven Queen is standing on the docks outside our ship. She hasn’t said anything yet. But I thought you should know.” Smee glanced back at me before dismissing his crewmember. He thought for a moment while I dismissed my runeeye. My vision returned to normal, ghostly parchment fading from sight. “I suppose we should go have a chat with the queen, Anola. Perhaps she’s come to bargain for your life. Just as carefully as he carried my birdcage in, the captain lifted me from the table and started toward the docks. *** Outside the air was heavy as a thick layer of fog slowly pedaled into the port. Things grew hazy as I was able to spot the outline of other ships and the buildings of Perth but little else. The lake hid herself and her threats beneath a billowing cloud of ghosts. Queen Bon-Hwa stood on the dock with her arms crossed, most of her body hidden beneath a soft red cloak. Her crown remained visible despite the fog’s best efforts to hide everything. Captain Smee walked down a gangplank as the smell of lakewater and damp wood washed over me. He stopped about 15 feet short of the queen. “Well, your grace, it’s a surprise to see you here outside my humble vessel. Have you come to threaten me or sink my ship?” Bon-Hwa shook her head. “I’m not actually here for you, Captain Smee. I merely decided to take a stroll down to the docks to get some fresh air. Sometimes the palace can be a bit stifling. You’re the one who walked out here to greet me, yes? I didn’t summon you.” Smee grinned at that. “How’s that stained glass window in your throne room? I was so sad to see such a lovely work of art destroyed.” Bon-Hwa’s red-painted lips didn’t betray her with a grimace or even a small frown. She remained perfectly still, cloaked with an impartial expression befitting a ruler whose secrets had secrets. “There’s no need to worry yourself. Our artisans have repaired it and restored the window to its full glory. I sat beneath it just yesterday holding court.” “So, if you’re not here for me, can I assume this piskie of yours is free to remain in my. . . let’s call it. . . hospitality?” Bon-Hwa’s eyes glance down toward me. I did not plead for help but instead stood frozen, measuring my breaths so as not to feed the pirates with a display of fear. “It’s a curious thing. Our royal pet and apprentice arcanist leave the palace without so much as a note. And then one goes missing and the other appears in a birdcage under your very hand.” Smee shrugged. “That IS a curious thing,” was all he offered in the way of response. And before any more vaguely threatening words could be exchanged, a deafening boom rattled the harbor, displacing the stillness of its mist. A second later, a cannonball took out a chunk of the topmast on Smee’s boat. The Jolly Roger appeared to shutter and groan as wood splinters fell over us like rain, and a crew of pirates shouted and dove for cover. The captain’s previously calm demeanor faded as he turned to examine the damage to his ship. Another cannon fired in the distance, this time taking out a large window in Smee’s quarters. “What are you doing?!” Smee snapped at the queen, dropping my cage to the dock. I stumbled forward but managed to stop just before iron bars scorched my face. The queen cocked her head. “What do you mean? I’m simply out here to get some air.” “Bullshit. And the cannon fire tearing my ship to pieces?” Smee yelled. Queen Bon-Hwa merely rubbed her chin. “That IS a curious thing,” she said. A third boom in the distance echoed just before a cannonball killed Starkey, taking off most of his upper body and crashing into the railing. That last shot tore a large hole in the ship’s starboard side. “Captain! It’s the Scoundrel! I see their flag. The Scoundrel is firing upon us,” one of the crewmembers yelled toward Smee. He hissed and turned to glance into the fog as a smaller vessel came into view only briefly. The captain ran his fingers through his hair and swore. Then he swore again. But at last, an idea seemed to dawn on him as he turned to Queen Bon-Hwa with a look of fury. “You have pirates in your port. Why aren’t you attacking them?!” “I assure you, Captain Smee, if the pirates fire upon any part of my ships, docks, or city, I will unleash my full wrath upon them.” “We’re registered merchants docked in YOUR port! Your duty as queen compels you to offer us safe harbor and protection to do business so long as we’re anchored here.” Queen Bon-Hwa seemed to consider this before shrugging. “You’re right, Captain Smee. I do owe registered merchants docked in my city protection. Of course, vendors docked in Perth are also required to provide detailed cargo manifests, and I couldn’t help but notice you have yet to turn in any paperwork. As such, before you are issued merchant protections, I’ll need to board and inspect your ship to make sure you’re not carrying contraband. Will you surrender to my inspection?” I couldn’t help but grin and admire the woman who’d defeated a pirate in her port simply with words. And, perhaps, a shady message to some other pirates who owed her a favor. I watched Smee clench his fists and grind his boots into the wood below. Sweat broke out over his face as more cannon fire pelted his ship. “Captain! What are your orders?!” a panicked crew member called out. Smee swore again and stomped his foot. “Fine. It’s not like I’m leaving empty-handed. I will be departing at once, Queen Bon-Hwa. Thanks for your hospitality,” he said, turning to walk up the gangplank and mercifully forgetting all about my birdcage. “The pleasure is all mine. Safe sailing and smooth seas, captain,” Bon-Hwa said. The captain barked orders at his men who flew about the deck in a fury of activity. “Take us out, Damien! We’ll lose Captain Selena Karmen in the fog. Bank hard to the south. With enough distance, even her felinae huntress won’t be able to hit us.” I watched with Queen Bon-Hwa as the Jolly Roger took on more fire, returned a few shots that all vanished in the mist, and then faded from our site, just like the Scoundrel, which was, theoretically giving chase. Or maybe it was anchored just offshore. I couldn’t tell in all this fog. Bon-Hwa fished a brass letter opener from under her cloak and unlatched the door to my birdcage with it. I exited the accursed cage and flew up to her shoulder, taking care not to step on her silky black hair or the red ribbons trailing out from her hair. “Are you hurt, apprentice arcanist?” I shook my head. “Not really. I burned my hands. They’re throbbing a little, but Smee was surprisingly delicate with me.” Bon-Hwa looked me over closely and said, “He was a decent opponent for a mortal. We’ll have a healer take a look at your hands when we return to Featherstone.” I nodded. “Thank you, your grace. The, um, pirates who fired upon Smee? Were those the Scoundrels you asked my teacher to summon?” She nodded as we turned back toward the palace. “They are pirates who prey upon other pirates. Their captain also owed me a favor.” I nodded and found myself gazing at Bon-Hwa with renewed respect and maybe a little awe. Whether she said so or not, I wholeheartedly believe she came out here to guarantee my safe return. At least in part. She happened to glance over at me. “Something on your mind?” I shook my head, not wanting to sound like an idiot. The queen let out a small grin, and we returned to the palace where I was promptly tackled, hugged, kissed, and scolded by Barsilla. With the queen otherwise occupied, Barsilla and I flew back to her room where she proceeded to pin me against a wall. “What is it with you?! The dire crocs weren’t enough of a heart attack for me? You gotta get captured by pirates too?” she yelled. Her eyes blazed something fierce, but I could tell it was to cover her overwhelming joy that I’d returned safely. “I had Sierra with me,” I offered, fighting a smile. “A roasted potato would have been more reassuring company!” Barsilla yelled, tightening her grip on me. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to help find Pann. Obviously, everything went to shit, but I made it back safe and sound.” Barsilla jabbed a finger in my face. “If you EVER do anything stupid like that again, I will have you leashed at my side at all hours of the day.” When she was finished yelling at me, Figaro took a turn growling and stamping her paw into the ground for several seconds, unloading her frustrations with my lack of planning. It was kind of adorable until she used that paw to pin me to the ground and huff for several minutes. I sighed. But then I remembered something important and turned to Barsilla once I was allowed to stand again. “I need you to take me to Featherbrooke,” I said. *** Flying before Varella, I couldn’t help but realize this entire mess in Faerie began with her attempting to kill me, believing I was a spy. And now, here I was, about to ask if she trusted me for something that might very well get me killed. Staring at the bedridden queen with my runeeye, I found it easily once more. The speck in her neck. “I see you’ve regained the use of your wings, little piskie. And I’ve been informed you are now an apprentice arcanist. It seems good fortune has found you at last,” Varella said. I didn’t want to do this. If she didn’t kill me, it was still going to be gross. “Your grace. I’ve also gained some use and control over my runeeye. And it has revealed to me what’s blocking your queensglamour from returning.” Varella fell silent. She turned to everyone in the room and said, “Leave us, please.” Vyzella, Kit, and Barsilla all did as she requested and shut the door. “You’re speaking much more boldly than the last time you stood before me,” Varella said. “What’s your theory on while I remain so weak? I’m interested to hear your diagnosis.” The queen spoke like she didn’t believe me at all. And I frowned, wondering if doing this was entirely necessary. Bon-Hwa seemed to be handling the throne better than I imagined Varella ever could. If it were up to me, I’d leave her in charge. I sighed. Recalling the parchment I saw in my runeeye and how important the words “Kilgara” and “iron sickness” were. In the coming war amid a destabilized Faerie, Varella’s strength would be needed to preserve this court. “Do you trust me?” I asked, pulling out a dagger Barsilla had hesitantly given me upon request. Varella’s grin grew sinister and downright horrifying, her eyes enveloping the very tone a dark queen of Faerie should carry. She sat in her bed, not moving an inch. “This just got interesting. Do I trust you? Not particularly. But it seems you’re set on a particular course of action. So I’ll give you 30 seconds to do whatever you’re thinking. And after that, if I don’t like your choices, I’ll kill you once and for all. How does that sound?” Trying not to let my heart rattle so loud that Varella would hear, I simply sighed again and nodded. “Go ahead, little piskie.” I flew over to her and landed on the bedridden queen’s collarbone. Steadying myself on her neck, I heard a low laugh escape her lips. Running my fingers over the tiny piece of iron embedded in Varella’s neck, I flinched. This was going to suck. Best get it over with, I thought, tightening my grip on the borrowed blade. I did my best to make a narrow cut in Varella’s neck, and she didn’t flinch or hiss in pain. Nor did she swat me. How many seconds did I have left? Too few to waste on counting. Gingerly reaching my fingers into the wound and trying not to barf as my stomach did exactly 12 flips, I sucked in a quick breath and braced myself for pain. Blood ran down the queen’s skin and onto my sandals and dress. Still, she did not flinch. I knew exactly when the fingers on my right hand made contact with the speck of iron. Searing pain raced up and down my fingers. It felt like I’d reached into a grill at a cookout and grabbed one of the hot coals. Only now instead of burgers cooking, it was the palm of my hand. The blood started to sizzle along with me as I braced my feet against the base of Varella’s neck. And for the first time, she gasped and grimaced. Not wanting to budge, the iron speck seemed to be actively resisting my pull, and the Raven Queen was starting to sweat as she clenched her fists against the comforter. Gritting my teeth and grabbing the speck even tighter, I screamed as molten magma threatened to melt through my palm and start roasting each bone in my fingers. “Get out, you fucking rock!” I yelled, grabbing my torched wrist and pulling with all of my might. With the sickening pop of a cyst bursting, I yanked the iron pebble free. It was a tiny thing, fitting into even my closed fist. But the pain was too much, and as I fell backward, I lost my grip on the spec. It landed on the floor and clattered over against the wall. By this time, the door burst open, and in walked Vyzella with wide eyes. I only caught a glimpse as I fell headfirst onto the bed, my hand still smoking. When I finally righted myself, I noticed my right hand was charred gray. If there’s one thing I miss about being human, I thought, hissing in pain. Glancing up at Varella with runeeye, I saw her queensglamour roar back all at once. Her eyes turned solid violet, and the queen’s back straightened. A wicked grin broke out across her face as she took a deep breath and muttered, “Yes. . . yes! That’s it!” With little warning, she suddenly stood, and I watched a tidal wave of violet glamour surge through her body like a shower that finally has a full hot water tank to draw from. The Raven Queen’s eyes finally returned to normal as Vyzella said, “It looks like you’re back in business, as the mortals would say.” She stretched while Vyzella went and fetched a bandage for her neck and tweezers to grab the speck of iron. Afterward, Varella picked me up and held me near her face. “Well done, Anola. It seems you’ve surprised me, after all. With my full strength returning, I can finally return to Featherstone.” “Happy to have been of service,” I said, still wincing as I held my hand. “I’m inclined to grant you a boon for your service here today. What favor would you ask of a fae queen?” I wanted to say lots of things. A fucking soaking tub for my hand. An apology for nearly killing me. An enchanted waffle cone that never ran out of strawberry ice cream. But as that ghostly parchment came to mind, and I thought back on the big picture my runeeye had been slowly revealing to me since my conversation with Captain Smee. Rolling the dice, I stared at the queen’s now-patient eyes and said, “What I want is for you to make Bon-Hwa queen all the time, not just when you’re incapacitated or away.” Vyzella audibly gasped, as did Barsilla who just flew into the room. Kit started laughing, and the cat’s chuckle filled the bedroom. But Varella merely narrowed her eyes. “I offer you a rare queen’s boon, and you want to use it for someone else? You understand this favor could be used to make you big again, right?” I looked over at Barsilla with a growing smile and said, “No thanks. It’d be really hard to kiss my girlfriend if I was big again. I chose a life here with Barsilla, the life of a piskie.” For the first time, I watched the librarian fae tear up and drop her clipboard and pencil. She covered her mouth with her hands and stifled a sob. Varella raised an eyebrow. “Even still. Why use your boon to benefit the second-most powerful fae in my court?” Turning to the Raven Queen, I shrugged. “I wasn’t aware using a boon required an explanation,” I said. “My reasons are my own, your grace.” Slowly nodding, Varella turned back to her left-hand lady. “Barsilla, take a note when you’re able. I want you to deliver an official decree to Bon-Hwa. She will no longer be known as queen-in-command. Henceforth, she’ll simply operate with the title of queen. She will continue to oversee the day-to-day queen’s business, and her authority will have no limits inside the Raven Court unless it directly conflicts with a decree from myself.” She turned to me again. “Consider your boon spent. I hope it was worth it, apprentice arcanist.” I slightly bowed my head. At that point, Varella looked around the room and realized someone important was missing. She frowned. “Where is my pet?” I flinched, images of Sierra being shot and falling through a window suddenly coming back to my mind. “Oh shit,” I gasped. “Anola?” Varella asked, looking closer at me. “Last I saw her, your grace, Sierra was shot with a mortal gun and a silver ball. Smee shot her, and then she fell backward through a window. I haven’t seen her since,” I said. Rage filled the Raven Queen’s face, and I felt the wind start to pick up outside as the cabin shook. “Barsilla, we’re returning to Featherstone at once. I want feathers and talons dispatched to search all of Perth. Nobody rests until my pet is found and returned to me.” A new voice at the door caused us all to turn. We found Bon-Hwa leaning against the doorframe with a scowl on her face. “I’ve just heard back from Ceras, my queen. There’s no sign of Sierra anywhere. We found a puddle of blood in the middle of some broken glass, but the werewolf hasn’t yet turned up.” The Raven Queen clenched her fists and ground her teeth. “Where is Lily? I demand to speak with my wing at once.” I landed on the bed and stood next to Barsilla, hoping to stay out of the queen’s line of sight. She was practically seething, and my heart was hammering watching her returning glamour storm and rage. “The spymaster was last seen boarding a boat in the harbor and heading toward the Scoundrel anchored out a way. I think we can conclude she’s already on Sierra’s trail and will find her.” Varella took a step toward the door and said, “I’m going after them.” But Vyzella caught her hand. “Var, listen to me. I know you’ve gotten some strength back for the first time in weeks, and you feel like a wrathful storm once more. But consider your subjects. If they see you reappear for the first time since news of Kilgara arrived, and you’re immediately flying off, it’ll send ripples of doubt and fear through your queendom.” I watched the Raven Queen stifle a snarl. “What would you have me do while my pet is wounded and away?” Bon-Hwa spoke directly enough that I flinched. “Trust that your spymaster will find and retrieve her. Return to the palace, clean up, and sit the throne for court tomorrow. Reinstate the confidence of your nobles who will then reinstate the confidence of your citizens. News from Faerie is grim right now. Courts are failing with many dissolving into civil wars and rebellions, exactly as the Fist of Kairn wanted. You want to make sure that doesn’t happen here? Announce to everyone you’re alive and ready to defend the Raven Court.” Taking several deep breaths, I watched the Raven Queen wipe her forehead. She gritted her teeth more but eventually released her fists. The queen had at last regained her strength, only to now lose her heart. And I watched her warring between telling Bon-Hwa to fuck off while she raced after her pet and understanding her responsibilities as queen. Varella looked to the floor, and I only heard her mutter a single word. “. . . Sierra.” Epilogue (Sierra) Everything on my left side hurt, my arms as well. Burning like I hadn’t felt since I grabbed Kit’s wine bowl and scorched the shit out of my fingers. Outside wherever I saw, I heard a deep rumble of thunder. And the floor swayed left and then right. Of course, I couldn’t move much for some reason. Whimpering and managing to open a single eye, I detected a single dim torch swaying from the ceiling. The smell of moldy bread and squishy potatoes filled the air around me as I fought not to hurl. “I think she’s waking up. Go get the captain,” a man said. I must have passed out for another few minutes before waking up again, realizing that the burning sensation on my arms wasn’t going away. I tried to move and found myself secured in place against a large wooden beam of some kind. A thin smoke made the room extra hazy. The smoke came from my smoldering flesh, courtesy of silver chains wrapped tight around me. “Fuck,” I coughed, a bit of blood and drool dripping down my chin. I’d have scars just above my elbows for the rest of my life. My collar, where I’d been shot, remained open and quite tender. How had it not healed? Right. . . silver ball in the pistol, I thought. Fucking pirates. A man’s voice spoke and drew my attention toward him. “There she is. I was worried you weren’t going to wake up. After two days of sailing, I figured you’d ask for water or food. But you’ve just been down here festering exactly where I left you,” Smee said. “You’re my consolation prize from the Raven Court. And I can only imagine what that bitch queen will offer to get you back. I’m sure the Crocodile King will get something nice.” Rage coursed through me, and I struggled against the chains. “You will address her as the Raven Queen,” I growled, eyes snapping open. I ignored the burning in my arms as the three or four pirates in the room laughed at me. “Calm down. You’re not going anywhere. Those chains are solid silver. We know how to deal with werewolves,” one of the pirates said. Smee grinned. “Truly not a bad consolation prize,” he mumbled. I grimaced and took in a shallow breath. Anger brought me back to the waking world, and I was ready to kill. I’d been shot, hogtied, and had to listen to these shitheads insult my queen. Enough was enough. A thought occurred to me as I pulled against the chains again. And I started to laugh, manically. The pirates laughed with me. And Smee, the only one who appeared to have any sense, asked, “What’s so funny?” “Well, you’ve bound me with silver chains, right?” “Correct. That sizzling of your flesh should make that pretty obvious. I guess there’s no intelligence requirement to be a royal pet,” he said, putting his hands on his hips. “But no iron chains?” He narrowed his eyes and slowly shook his head. “And how many men do you have on this ship?” “Nine,” he answered, scowling. “Why? Are you thinking about trying to attack us?” I shook my head. “Good. Because I’ve got enough to deal with right now. Fucking giant storm outside for starters. The waters leaving the lake you call home and entering the faesea can get pretty choppy sometimes.” I laughed again. “Relax, captain. I’m not thinking about trying to attack you. I already made up my mind to slaughter you all. I just needed to know how much help to call.” And as Smee flinched, I pulled deep on the chunk of queensglamour embedded in my wolfheart as I had while defending Featherstone. Primal rage quaked through me as I threw back my head and let forth an ear-piercing howl in the storage room I’d been imprisoned within. From the shadows of the room created by the swaying lantern, violet-eyed beasts took form. Rustling dark feathers betrayed their location as a dozen wolves growled in unison. “What in the name of hell are those?!” one of the pirates shrieked. “I call them my Black Feather Pack. Kill them all!” I barked as the wolves made of nothing but shadow and obsidian feathers rushed from all corners of the room and tore the pirates into pieces. Smee screamed until one crushed his throat, and I gave a feral cackle watching him bleed to death on the floor. Over the next few minutes, my wolves freed me, and we worked our way through the ship, killing every person in sight. The ship swayed violently to the left as another large clap of thunder rocked the boat. “Fuck, that’s loud,” I muttered, finding my way to the deck. Rain pelted my face, and the wind whipped my tattered clothing that had gone crusty with my blood over the course of two days. In the distance, I spotted a massive wave rising in front of the ship. It swallowed my vision as my heart sank, and I looked around for any sign of land. Finding none and hearing the deafening roar of the approaching wave, I thought of a George Clooney film, but the title eluded me. Looking desperately for the helm, I ran toward the tiller, only to find a single bloody hand remaining attached to the chipped, worn wheel. “In hindsight, I really should have spared at least one of the pirates to steer the ship,” I muttered. My black feather pack sat around me, waiting for another command. “I don’t suppose one of you knows how to steer a ship or navigate, do you?” I asked as the wolves cocked their heads to the side and whinged. I slowly nodded as that giant wave came crashing down upon the ship. “Well, fuck.” ________________________ Editor's note: This concludes A Bargain for Wings. Please stay tuned for news about book #4 in this series and my next book, a dark dragon romance, in the coming days. |
2024.04.06 23:26 SanderSo47 Directors at the Box Office: Terrence Malick
https://preview.redd.it/m229o34lfxsc1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=b64cde13240822415599eb7a510b9326f2c6cab8 submitted by SanderSo47 to boxoffice [link] [comments] Here's a new edition of "Directors at the Box Office", which seeks to explore the directors' trajectory at the box office and analyze their hits and bombs. I already talked about a few, and as I promised, it's Terrence Malick's turn. Malick's younger years faced tragedy, as his younger brother died as he faced pressure over his musical studies. Malick graduated from Harvard College in 1965 with a Bachelor of Arts, summa cum laude. He then studied philosophy at Oxford. After a disagreement with his advisor, Gilbert Ryle, over Malick's thesis on the concept of world in Kierkegaard, Heidegger, and Wittgenstein, Malick left Oxford without a degree. One of his most notable achievements was translating Heidegger's The Essence of Reasons into English. After returning to the United States, Malick taught philosophy at MIT while freelancing as a journalist. He subsequently earned an MFA from the brand-new AFI Conservatory in 1969, and he got contacts in the industry to start working as an uncredited writer. After one of his screenplays, Deadhead Miles, was made into what Paramount Pictures believed was an unreleasable film, Malick decided to direct his own scripts. From a box office perspective, how reliable was he to deliver a box office hit? That's the point of this post. To analyze his career. It should be noted that as he started his career in the 1970s, some of the domestic grosses here will be adjusted by inflation. The table with his highest grossing films, however, will be left in its unadjusted form, as the worldwide grosses are more difficult to adjust.Badlands (1973)"In 1959, a lot of people were killing time. Kit and Holly were killing people."His directorial debut. It stars Martin Sheen, Sissy Spacek, Ramon Bieri and Warren Oates. Loosely based on the real-life murder spree of Charles Starkweather and his girlfriend Caril Ann Fugate in 1958, the film follows Holly Sargis, a 15-year old who goes on a killing spree with her partner, Kit Carruthers. In 1970, Malick started writing the script while on a road trip. Malick paid $25,000 of his own funds, while the remainder of his share was raised from professionals such as doctors and dentists. Sissy Spacek was chosen, despite being unknown and only appearing in one film, as Malick found her small-town Texas roots and accent were perfect for the part of the naive impressionable high school girl. In fact, he allowed her to help in the creative progress and accomodated the script based on her experiences. When Martin Sheen was suggested by the casting director, Malick was hesitant, thinking he was too old for the role. Spacek wrote in her autobiography that "the chemistry was immediate. He was Kit. And with him, I was Holly." The film carried a low $300,000 budget and most of the crew was non-union. The film had a somewhat troubled production history: several members of the crew clashed with Malick, and another was severely injured when an explosion occurred while filming the fire scene. Jack Fisk served as art director for the film in his first of several collaborations with Malick. During production, Spacek and Fisk fell in love and got married one year after the year came out. There are no available numbers for the film's original release. The only numbers we've got is a $54,396 run it had on the UK and New Zealand 15 years ago. The film received acclaim, particularly for its cinematography, soundtrack and acting, and has been named as one of the greatest films of the 1970s. It successfully launched the careers of Malick, Sheen and Spacek.
Days of Heaven (1978)"You've got to go through Hell before you get to Heaven."His second film. It stars Richard Gere, Brooke Adams, Sam Shepard and Linda Manz. Set in 1916, it tells the story of Bill and Abby, lovers who travel to the Texas Panhandle to harvest crops for a wealthy farmer. Bill persuades Abby to claim the fortune of the dying farmer by tricking him into a false marriage. While on a trip to Cuba with producer Ben Schneider, Malick started working on the film. Malick had tried and failed to get Dustin Hoffman or Al Pacino to star in the film, and John Travolta auditioned for and won the lead role of Bill, but ABC-TV wouldn't let him out of his contract for his series Welcome Back Kotter. Impressed by The Wild Child, Malick asked Néstor Almendros to become the film's cinematographer, winning him over with his knowledge and willingness to use little studio lighting. They drew inspiration from painters such as Johannes Vermeer, Edward Hopper, and Andrew Wyeth, as well as photo-reporters from the start of the 20th century. According to Almendros, the production was not "rigidly prepared", allowing for improvisation. Daily call sheets could have been more detailed, and the schedule changed to suit the weather. This upset some Hollywood crew members not used to working this way. Most crew members were used to a "glossy style of photography" and felt frustrated because Almendros did not give them much work. Daily, he asked them to turn off the lights they had prepared for him. Some crew members said that Almendros and Malick did not know what they were doing. The tension led to some of the crew quitting the production. Malick supported what Almendros was doing and pushed the film's look further, removing more lighting aids and leaving the image bare. While the photography yielded the director satisfactory results, the rest of the production was difficult. The actors and crew reportedly viewed Malick as cold and distant. After two weeks of shooting, Malick was so disappointed with the dailies, he "decided to toss the script, go Leo Tolstoy instead of Fyodor Dostoyevsky, wide instead of deep [and] shoot miles of film with the hope of solving the problems in the editing room." Post-production took 2 years, as Malick had a difficult time shaping the film and getting the pieces to go together. He experimented with voice-overs from Linda Manz's character, scrapped much of the film's dialogue, replacing it with Manz's voice-over, which served as an oblique commentary on the story. Schneider was disappointed with Malick. He had confronted Malick numerous times about missed deadlines and broken promises. Due to further cost overruns, he had to ask Paramount for more money, which he preferred not to do. When they screened a demo for Paramount and made their pitch, the studio was impressed and reportedly "gave Malick a very sweet deal at the studio, carte blanche, essentially". Despite a heavy push from Paramount, the film was a box office bomb, earning just $3.4 million in its run. The film also received a polarizing response; while the cinematography was praised, the storyline and structure were points of criticism. But time was kind to the film, eventually being acknowleged as one of the best films of the 1970s. Despite losing money, Charles Bluhdorn (who ran Paramount's parent company Gulf + Western), loved it so much he offered Malick $1 million for his next project, whatever it was. Malick began developing a project for Paramount named Q, that explored the origins of life on earth. During pre-production, he suddenly moved to Paris and disappeared from public view for years.
The Thin Red Line (1998)"Every man fights his own war."His third film. Based on the novel by James Jones, it stars Jim Caviezel, Sean Penn, Adrien Brody, Ben Chaplin, George Clooney, John Cusack, Woody Harrelson, Elias Koteas, Jared Leto, Dash Mihok, Tim Blake Nelson, Nick Nolte, John C. Reilly, Larry Romano, John Savage and John Travolta. It tells a fictionalized version of the Battle of Mount Austen, which was part of the Guadalcanal Campaign in the Pacific Theater of the Second World War, and portrays U.S. soldiers of C Company, 1st Battalion, 27th Infantry Regiment, 25th Infantry Division. In 1978, Malick was approached by producer Bobby Geisler, and both exchanged different ideas for films that never materialized. Ten years later, Geisler visited him in Paris, and Malick was interested in adapting either Molière's Tartuffe or James Jones' The Thin Red Line. The following year, Malick wrote a 300-page script. As he slowly worked on the film, the producers earned his trust by providing him with reliable sources, paying his travel plans and getting him a mortgage in Paris. By 1995, Sony was involved, but new studio chairman John Calley did not think Malick could make his movie with the proposed $52 million budget. 20th Century Fox picked up the project, with the condition that Malick cast five known stars. In 1995, once word went out that Malick was making another movie after many years, numerous actors approached him, flooding the casting directors until they had to announce they wouldn't be accepting more requests. Sean Penn told Malick that he would appear for just one dollar. Brad Pitt, Al Pacino, Gary Oldman, and George Clooney offered to work for a fraction and some even offered to work for free. Bruce Willis even went as far as offering to pay for first-class tickets for the casting crew, to get a few lines for the movie. Before the casting was finalized, Nicolas Cage had lunch with Malick in Hollywood in February 1996. Malick went off to scout locations and tried calling Cage that summer only to find out that his phone number had been disconnected. Tom Sizemore, however, was offered a more substantial role in Saving Private Ryan and, when he could not contact Malick for several days, decided to do Spielberg's film instead. Edward Norton flew out to Austin and met Malick, who had been impressed by the actor's screen test for Primal Fear. Matthew McConaughey reportedly took a day off filming A Time to Kill to see Malick. Others followed, including William Baldwin, Edward Burns, Josh Hartnett, Crispin Glover, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Stephen Dorff, and Leonardo DiCaprio. Malick's unconventional filming techniques included shooting part of a scene during a bright, sunny morning only to finish it weeks later at sunset. He made a habit of pointing the camera away during an action sequence and focus on a parrot, a tree branch or other fauna. Malick's reputation and working methods commanded great respect among the actors, with both Woody Harrelson and John Savage staying on for an extra month after they finished all of their scenes just to watch him at work. Despite a big cast, some names were left out. Bill Pullman, Lukas Haas and Mickey Rourke performed but their scenes were eventually cut, while Billy Bob Thornton recorded narration that was scrapped. Editor Leslie Jones was on location for 5 months and rarely saw Malick, who left her to her own devices. After principal photography wrapped, she came back with a five-hour first cut and spent 7 months editing, with Thornton contributing 3 hours of narrative voice-over material. It was at this point that editor Billy Weber joined and they spent 13 months in post-production and the last 4 months mixing the film, using four Avid machines with a fifth added at one point. Malick edited the footage one reel at a time with the sound off while listening to a Green Day CD. The editing resulted in many of the well-known cast members being on screen for only a brief period. John Travolta and George Clooney's appearances are little more than cameos, yet Clooney's name appears prominently in the marketing of the movie. The unfinished film was screened for the New York press in December 1998 and Adrien Brody attended a screening to find that his originally significant role, "to carry the movie", as he put it, had been reduced to two lines and approximately five minutes of screen time, while Malick changed the lead role to Caviezel. Brody actually shared his frustration: "I was so focused and professional, I gave everything to it, and then to not receive everything... in terms of witnessing my own work. It was extremely unpleasant because I’d already begun the press for a film that I wasn’t really in. Terry obviously changed the entire concept of the film. I had never experienced anything like that. You know the expression ‘Don’t believe the hype’? Well, you shouldn’t."The film started on limited release before expanding. The film failed to double its budget, although it earned almost $100 million worldwide. The film received critical acclaim, particularly for its philosophical depiction of war, Malick's direction, musical score, cinematography, screenplay, editing, and performances. It received 7 Oscar nominations, including Best Picture, with Malick nominated for Best Director and Best Adapted Screenplay. Malick rested for 20 years and then came back with a banger.
The New World (2005)"Once discovered, it was changed forever."His fourth film. It stars Colin Farrell, Q'orianka Kilcher, Christopher Plummer, Christian Bale, August Schellenberg, Wes Studi, David Thewlis, Yorick van Wageningen and John Savage. It depicts the founding of the Jamestown, Virginia, settlement and inspired by the historical figures Captain John Smith, Pocahontas of the Powhatan tribe, and Englishman John Rolfe. After The Thin Red Line, Malick worked on a film about Che Guevara and his failed revolution in Bolivia. When financing had yet to come through, Malick was offered the chance to direct The New World (a project he worked on since the 1970s) and left the Guevara project in March 2004. Christopher Plummer, while respectful of Malick, found the experience very frustrating. He told Malick "to get a writer" and complained about a scene where "this very emotional scene that I had suddenly was background noise." He said he would never work with Malick ever again, also telling him "you are so boring. You get in these ruts. You’ve got to get yourself a writer." The film received mixed reviews from critics, who disliked its unfocused narrative and runtime. The audience hated it even more, and the film bombed with just $49 million worldwide. Nevertheless, Emmanuel Lubezki received an Oscar nomination for its cinematography. In the years since, it has been re-appraised.
The Tree of Life (2011)"Nothing stands still."His fifth film. The film stars Brad Pitt, Sean Penn, Jessica Chastain and Tye Sheridan. It follows the impressionistic story of a Texas family in the 1950s. The film follows the life journey of the eldest son, Jack, through the innocence of childhood to his disillusioned adult years as he tries to reconcile a complicated relationship with his father. Jack finds himself a lost soul in the modern world, seeking answers to the origins and meaning of life while questioning the existence of faith. After Days of Heaven, Malick started working on Q, a film about the origin of life. Malick had an idea for a film that would be "a history of the cosmos up through the formation of the Earth and the beginnings of life." It would include elements such as a section set in the Middle East during World War I, and an underwater minotaur dreaming about the evolution of the universe. One day, Malick "just stopped" working on the film and left for Paris. Decades later, Malick got help from a producer to get the project made. Brad Pitt got involved through his company, Plan B, and was eventually cast as the lead. At one point, Colin Farrell and Mel Gibson were attached. Heath Ledger was set to play the role of Mr. O'Brien, but dropped out (due to recurring sicknesses) a month before his death in early 2008. Sean Penn was proud of the film, although he said, "The screenplay is the most magnificent one that I've ever read but I couldn't find that same emotion on screen... A clearer and more conventional narrative would have helped the film without, in my opinion, lessening its beauty and its impact." Malick disliked the look of computer-generated imagery. So, after nearly 30 years away from Hollywood, famed special effects supervisor Douglas Trumbull (2001: A Space Odyssey) contributed to the visual effects work on the film. Trumbull asked Malick, "Why not do it the old way? The way we did it in 2001?" Working with visual effects supervisor Dan Glass, Trumbull used a variety of materials for the creation of the universe sequence. "We worked with chemicals, paint, fluorescent dyes, smoke, liquids, CO2, flares, spin dishes, fluid dynamics, lighting and high speed photography to see how effective they might be." Originally scheduled for 2009, the film was delayed until 2011 due to Malick still working on post-production. The film premiered at the Cannes Film Festival, where it garnered a polarizing response; it was met with both boos and applause. In a surprising move, it won the Palme d'Or. At the box office, the film earned $61 million worldwide, almost doubling its budget. Even with the polarizing response, it was still received with thunderous acclaim, with some proclaiming it as Malick's magnum opus as well as one of the greatest films of the century. Malick once again received an Oscar nomination for Best Director, while the film was also nominated for Best Picture.
To the Wonder (2013)His sixth film. It stars Ben Affleck, Olga Kurylenko, Rachel McAdams, and Javier Bardem. The film chronicles a couple who, after falling in love in Paris, struggle to keep their relationship from falling apart after moving to the United States.Malick and his crew adopted an experimental approach. Actors described working without a screenplay or the use of lights. Likewise, cinematographer on the film, Emmanuel Lubezki, was given instructions to be “in the eye of the hurricane” — in the middle of a scene, constantly interacting with the characters. Lubezki called the film "abstract", and described it as being less tied to theatrical conventions and more purely cinematic than any prior film directed by Malick. Jessica Chastain, Rachel Weisz, Amanda Peet, Barry Pepper and Michael Sheen were originally part of the film, but no footage of their performances was kept for the final cut. The film only received a limited release, earning less than $3 million. It also received mixed reviews, as many found its narrative emotionally unsatisfying. Interestingly, this was the last film reviewed by Roger Ebert. He gave it a 3.5/4 and wrote: "A more conventional film would have assigned a plot to these characters and made their motivations more clear. Malick, who is surely one of the most romantic and spiritual of filmmakers, appears almost naked here before his audience, a man not able to conceal the depth of his vision."
Knight of Cups (2016)"A quest."His seventh film. The film stars Christian Bale, Cate Blanchett, Natalie Portman, Brian Dennehy, Antonio Banderas, Wes Bentley, Isabel Lucas, Teresa Palmer, Imogen Poots, Armin Mueller-Stahl, Freida Pinto, Cherry Jones, Nick Offerman, Clifton Collins Jr., Dane DeHaan, Thomas Lennon, Joel Kinnaman, Jason Clarke, Shea Whigham, Ryan O'Neal, Joe Manganiello, Kevin Corrigan, Fabio, Joe Lo Truglio, Beau Garrett and Nick Kroll. The film follows screenwriter Rick on an odyssey through Los Angeles and Las Vegas as he undertakes a series of adventures with colorful figures, identified by seven tarot cards from the Major Arcana, with Rick as the Knight of Cups. Although a script was written, Bale received no pages from it, while all other cast members received only pages of internal and verbal monologue for each shooting day. Bale later said that while filming, he was unclear about what the final film would actually be. During production, Malick used a process he calls "torpedoing", where a character is thrown into a scene without the other actors' advance knowledge, forcing them to improvise. In addition to a traditional studio, the cast also recorded their voice-over work in nontraditional places, such as in a van or by the side of the road. The film received mixed reviews, particularly for its story. The film was another bomb for Malick, barely making it past $1 million.
Voyage of Time (2016)"Life's journey."His eighth film. A documentary narrated by Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett, the film is an examination of the birth and death of the known universe. Malick worked on the film since the 1970s, and some ideas from Q are part of the film. It was released in two versions: a forty-minute IMAX version with narration by Brad Pitt, and a 35-millimetre feature-length edition narrated by Cate Blanchett. Even with the backing of IMAX, the film didn't even make $400,000 at the box office. The IMAX version was met with positive reviews, but the feature-length edition received a more mixed response.
Song to Song (2017)"Love. Obsession. Betrayal."His ninth film. It stars Ryan Gosling, Rooney Mara, Michael Fassbender, Natalie Portman, and Cate Blanchett. Set in Austin, Texas, two entangled couples — struggling songwriters Faye and BV, and music mogul Cook and the waitress whom he ensnares — chase success through a rock ’n’ roll landscape of seduction and betrayal. It fared similar reviews to his past films; great performances caught in an unsatisfying narrative. Once again, another box office dud.
A Hidden Life (2019)"Based on true events."His 10th film. It stars August Diehl, Valerie Pachner, Matthias Schoenaerts, Michael Nyqvist and Bruno Ganz. The film depicts the life of Franz Jägerstätter, an Austrian farmer and devout Catholic who refused to fight for the Nazis in World War II. Malick said the film would have a more structured narrative than his previous works, "Lately — I keep insisting, only very lately — have I been working without a script and I've lately repented the idea. The last picture we shot, and we're now cutting, went back to a script that was very well ordered." This makes it his first linear, plot-driven film since The New World. It was filmed in 2016, but it spent three years on post-production. Surprise surprise, it was another box office bomb for Malick. But it received his best reviews in almost a decade, and was deemed a return to form for Malick after a slate of weak films.
Other ProjectsAs mentioned, he started as an uncredited writer in the industry. One of those films was Dirty Harry, in which Malick wrote an early draft.He was originally slated to direct a Che Guevara biopic, but abandoned the film when financing fell through. Steven Soderbergh would later direct from this script, and Malick is credited as a writer on the film. The FutureMalick's next film is The Way of the Wind, which chronicles many chapters in the life of Jesus of Nazareth. It stars Géza Röhrig, Matthias Schoenaerts, Mark Rylance, Tawfeek Barhom, Aidan Turner, Ben Kingsley, Joseph Fiennes, and Douglas Booth. Filming occurred in 2019, but five years later, there are no updates on the film.MOVIES (FROM HIGHEST GROSSING TO LEAST GROSSING)
The VerdictUnreliable. Not even close.Malick has been unable to make a single profitable film in his career. Of course, the one exception might be Badlands, but we have no box office data from 1973 to corroborate. And that shouldn't be a surprise. His films are way too experimental, and have often been criticized for the lack of plot and character development. That's not for everyone. And some actors have expressed frustration with his post-production, especially because their roles are entirely cut from his films. At the same time, however, there's a lot to admire about Malick. His films often read like meditative poetry, trying to convey emotion through cinematography and philosophy instead of dialogue or plot. The Thin Red Line has received a huge amount of praise in subsequent years, to the point that some might consider it superior to that year's other war film, Saving Private Ryan (like your OP here). And The Tree of Life has been one of the century's most acclaimed and analyzed films, so clearly Malick knows his magic (I'd put it in the top 5 of the century, but that's just me). Studios know they won't make any money with Malick, but they still want to see his works. And that's fine. As a fun fact, one of Malick's favorite films is none other than... Zoolander. After hearing that Malick was a fan, Ben Stiller made an in-character happy-birthday video for the director. He not only loves the film, but he often quotes it on set. Now you gotta picture a crew member explaining something to Malick, and then Malick replying with "but why male models?" Hope you liked this edition. You can find this and more in the wiki for this section. The next director will be Guillermo del Toro. I'll have to post at least some of his projects that never materialized. I asked you to choose who else should be in the run and the comment with the most upvotes would be chosen. Well, we'll later talk about... Danny Boyle. One of the most iconic British directors. This is the schedule for the following four:
And to finally answer your question, there's finally a date on Christopher Nolan's post. It was a long wait, but I wanted to know how it will do on Japan before calling it. The post will be on... July 20. Some might think this is too long to wait, but I think it's a fitting date. It is what it is. |
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2024.02.24 23:22 SanderSo47 Directors at the Box Office: Joel & Ethan Coen
https://preview.redd.it/98r9al19zlkc1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=e44d0bcd1e5da67084b7ce1b868dfa14bd6d9027 submitted by SanderSo47 to boxoffice [link] [comments] Here's a new edition of "Directors at the Box Office", which seeks to explore the directors' trajectory at the box office and analyze their hits and bombs. I already talked about a few, and as I promised, it's Joel and Ethan Coen's turn. The Coens developed an early interest in cinema through television. They grew up watching Italian films aired on a Minneapolis station, the Tarzan films, and comedies. With a camera, they remade movies they saw on television. Joel started in the industry by becoming an assistant editor, while Ethan was finishing an undergraduate degree in philosophy. Eventually, their attention turned to directing. From a box office perspective, how reliable were they to deliver a box office hit? That's the point of this post. To analyze their career. Blood Simple (1984)"Passion led to adultery. Adultery led to murder. It all seemed so simple."Their directorial debut. It stars John Getz, Frances McDormand, Dan Hedaya, and M. Emmet Walsh. Its plot follows a Texas bartender who finds himself in the midst of a murder plot when his boss discovers that he is having a love affair with his wife and he hires a private investigator to kill the couple but the investigator has his own agenda. The Coens were ready to become directors, but they lacked experience and money. So they shot a preemptive dummy theatrical trailer for the film, which showed "a man dragging a shovel alongside a car stopped in the middle of the road, back towards another man he was going to kill" and "a shot of backlit gun holes in a wall." The trailer featured actor Bruce Campbell, playing the Julian Marty role, and was shot by recent film school graduate Barry Sonnenfeld. An investor decided to finance the film, helping them in finding contacts in the industry and raising the needed $1.5 million budget. While they directed the film, only Joel was credited as the director, and Ethan is credited as the sole producer. This is due to the DGA rules that disallowed multiple director credits to prevent dilution of the position's significance. The only exception to this rule is if the co-directors are an "established duo", and they were still unknowns back here. The film didn't perform well at the box office, although a subsequent re-release in 2000 allowed it to finally recoup its budget. Critics raved over the film, indicating a promising career for the Coens.
Raising Arizona (1987)"Their lawless years are behind them. Their child-rearing years lay ahead..."Their second film. It stars Nicolas Cage, Holly Hunter, Trey Wilson, William Forsythe, John Goodman, Frances McDormand, Sam McMurray, and Randall "Tex" Cobb. The film follows Herbert 'Hi' and Edwina 'Ed' McDunnough, an ex-con and ex-cop, a childless marriage who cannot adopt because of Hi's criminal past. Their yearning for a child leads them to kidnap one of the quintuplets of a rich businessman. The Coens wanted to deviate from their previous film by making something more optimistic and upbeat. They wrote the characters to be very sympathetic, and focusing on Hi's desire to live a regular life within the boundaries of the law. As Circle Films, the distributor of Blood Simple, gave them a $5 million budget, the Coens extensively prepared to not waste any money. Through Circle Films, they got a major distributor, 20th Century Fox, involved. The relationship between Nicolas Cage and the Coens was respectful, but turbulent. When he arrived on-set, and at various other points during production, Cage offered suggestions to the Coen brothers, which they ignored. Cage said that "Joel and Ethan have a very strong vision and I've learned how difficult it is to accept another artist's vision. They have an autocratic nature." Helped by Fox's distribution, the film easily recouped its budget, earning $29 million in its initial run. Critical reception was very favorable, and has appeared in many lists as one of the funniest comedies. The film has also become popular through cable reruns.
Miller's Crossing (1990)"What's the rumpus?"Their third film. It stars Gabriel Byrne, Marcia Gay Harden, John Turturro, Jon Polito, J. E. Freeman, and Albert Finney. The plot concerns a power struggle between two rival gangs and how the protagonist, Tom Reagan, plays both sides against each other. As they developed the film, they already had a first image set in stone. It was that of a black hat coming to rest in a forest clearing; then, a gust of wind lifts it into the air, sending it flying down an avenue of trees. This image closes the film's opening credit sequence. As they wrote the script, they developed writer's block due to the film's contrived storylines. After watching Baby Boom one night, they felt inspired in writing another screenplay in just three weeks, and then resumed work in Miller's Crossing. The film fared very poorly, earning only $5 million, barely half of its budget. But it continued the Coens' critical acclaim run.
Barton Fink (1991)"There's only one thing stranger than what's going on inside his head. What's going on outside."Their fourth film. It stars John Turturro, John Goodman, Judy Davis, Michael Lerner, John Mahoney, and Jon Polito. Set in 1941, it follows Barton Fink, a young New York City playwright who is hired to write scripts for a film studio in Hollywood, and his friendship with Charlie Meadows, the insurance salesman who lives next door at the run-down Hotel Earle. As mentioned, the Coens developed writer's block while writing Miller's Crossing, although Joel states that it was more their interest in deviating from the film. They left for New York, where they wrote a different film in just 3 weeks, wanting John Turturro and John Goodman to star. They also felt satisfied with the overall shape of the story, which helped them move quickly through the composition. The Coens began looking for a new cinematographer, since their associate Barry Sonnenfeld was making his directorial debut with The Addams Family, and this marked their first collaboration with Roger Deakins. The film premiered at the Cannes Film Festival, where it won three awards: Best Actor, Best Director and the Palme d'Or. It received acclaim for its script and characters, and was hailed as one of the Coens' best films. But that didn't translate to a good box office run; it made just $6 million, failing to recoup its budget.
The Hudsucker Proxy (1994)"They took him for a fall guy. But he threw them for a hoop."Their fifth film. It stars Tim Robbins, Jennifer Jason Leigh, and Paul Newman, and follows a naïve but ambitious business school graduate who is installed as president of a manufacturing company, unaware that the director hires him as part of a stock scam. The Coens were friends with Sam Raimi, having collaborated in some of his films. They decided to make a script, inspired by the films of Preston Sturges, Frank Capra and Howard Hawks. The first image the Coens and Raimi conceived was of Norville Barnes about to jump from the window of a skyscraper and then they had to figure out how he got there and how to save him. The script was finished by 1985, but it sat on the shelves as the Coens were still unknowns in the industry. After Barton Fink, they decided to make a more mainstream film and did a brief rewrite with Raimi. Joel Silver got Warner Bros. involved and gave the Coens complete creative control. WB held test screenings, which received mixed reactions. They suggested re-shoots, but the Coens, who held final cut privilege, refused because they were very nervous working with their biggest budget to date and were eager for mainstream success. The producers eventually added footage that had been cut and also shot minor pick-ups for the ending. While the Coens received acclaim for their previous works, that wasn't the case here. It received mixed reviews, with critics feeling the film did not live up to its ambitions and that the film's jarring tone made it difficult to fully connect with the story and characters. And despite their attempt in making a more mainstream project, it bombed with just $14 million worldwide. In subsequent years, the film has earned a cult following.
Fargo (1996)"A homespun murder story."Their sixth film. It stars Frances McDormand, William H. Macy, Steve Buscemi, Harve Presnell, and Peter Stormare. It follows Marge Gunderson, a pregnant Minnesota police chief investigating a triple homicide that takes place after a desperate car salesman hires two criminals to kidnap his wife in order to extort a hefty ransom from her wealthy father. The film opens with the following text: "This is a true story. The events depicted in this film took place in Minnesota in 1987. At the request of the survivors, the names have been changed. Out of respect for the dead, the rest has been told exactly as it occurred."But obviously, everything on the film is ficticious. Regarding this apparent discrepancy, the Coen brothers said that they based their script on an actual criminal event, but wrote a fictional story around it. Joel said "If an audience believes that something's based on a real event, it gives you permission to do things they might otherwise not accept." While their past three films were box office duds, the Coens finally had some luck here. It had a slow start, but the film eventually found an audience. It earned $60 million worldwide, becoming their highest grossing film. It received acclaim from critics and audiences, and is widely considered as one of the best films, not just from the Coens but of the 90s as well. The film received 7 Oscar nominations, including Best Picture and Best Director. The Coens won their first Oscar for Best Original Screenplay, while Frances McDormand won Best Actress. In 1997, a pilot based on the film was filmed with Edie Falco playing Gunderson. It didn't involve the Coens in any way, and it never moved forward. In 2014, FX aired another series based on the film, now helmed by Noah Hawley and connected to the film. The anthology series has received acclaim, won multiple awards and has just finished its fifth season. While the Coens are credited as executive producers, they have pretty much no involvement in the series. Back in 2016, Joel had this to say: “We’re just not very interested. I mean, we’re perfectly happy with it. We have no problem with it. It just feels divorced from our film somehow. We work short. Our longest movie [No Country For Old Men] is 2 hours, 2 minutes. It’s just not how we think about stories. I mean, after two hours with a character we feel we’re pretty much done with them.”
The Big Lebowski (1998)"Times like these call for a Big Lebowski."Their seventh film. It stars Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Sam Elliott, Julianne Moore, Steve Buscemi, John Turturro, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Tara Reid, David Thewlis, Peter Stormare, Jon Polito, and Ben Gazzara. It follows Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski, a Los Angeles slacker and avid bowler. He is assaulted as a result of mistaken identity, then learns that a millionaire, also named Jeffrey Lebowski, was the intended victim. The millionaire Lebowski's trophy wife is supposedly kidnapped, and millionaire Lebowski commissions The Dude to deliver the ransom to secure her release. The plan goes awry when the Dude's friend, Walter Sobchak, schemes to keep the ransom money for the Dude and himself. The film was inspired by Jeff Dowd, an American film producer and political activist the Coen brothers met while they were trying to find distribution for Blood Simple. The Dude was modeled after him and another friend of the Coens, Peter Exline, a Vietnam War veteran who reportedly lived in a dump of an apartment and was proud of a little rug that "tied the room together". The Coens wanted to make something similar to the works of Raymond Chandler, particularly his adaptation of The Long Goodbye. Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't a flop. In fact, it even tripled its budget, and that's before we even get to its big performance on DVD and cable reruns. Initial reactions were mixed, but the film quickly earned a cult following, and it's now one of their most iconic films. Many of its characters and quotes have become part of pop culture.
O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)"They have a plan, but not a clue."Their eighth film. Loosely based on Homer's The Odyssey, it stars George Clooney, John Turturro, Tim Blake Nelson, Chris Thomas King, John Goodman, Holly Hunter, and Charles Durning. The film is set in rural Mississippi in 1937, and it follows three escaped convicts searching for hidden treasure while a sheriff relentlessly pursues them. The Coens decided to make a different version of the Odyssey, as they considered it "one of their favorite storyline schemes". But despite that, the Coens actually never read the epic, and they were only familiar with its content through adaptations and numerous references in popular culture. According to the brothers, Tim Blake Nelson (who has a degree in classics from Brown University) was the only person on the set who had read the Odyssey. The Coens used digital color correction to give the film a sepia-tinted look. Initially the crew tried to perform the color correction using a physical process, but after several tries with various chemical processes proved unsatisfactory the process was performed digitally. Roger Deakins spent 11 weeks fine-tuning the look, mainly targeting the greens, making them a burnt yellow and desaturating the overall image in the digital files. This made it the first feature film to be entirely color corrected by digital means. The film enjoyed some pretty good reviews, and it managed to find an audience in theaters, earning $71 million and becoming their new highest grossing film. But the crazy thing is that the soundtrack overshadowed the film in success. By early 2001, it had sold 5 million copies, spawned a documentary film, three follow-up albums, two concert tours, and won Country Music Awards for Album of the Year and Single of the Year (for "Man of Constant Sorrow"). It also won five Grammys, including Album of the Year, and hit #1 on the Billboard album charts the week of March 15, 2002, 63 weeks after its release and over a year after the release of the film.
The Man Who Wasn't There (2001)"The last thing on his mind is murder."Their ninth film. It stars Billy Bob Thornton, Frances McDormand, Michael Badalucco, Richard Jenkins, Scarlett Johansson, Jon Polito, Tony Shalhoub, and James Gandolfini. The film is set in 1949 and tells the story of Ed Crane, a withdrawn barber who leads an ordinary life in a small California town with his wife, who he suspects is having an affair with her boss. Crane's situation changes when a stranger comes to the barbershop and offers him the opportunity to join him as a partner in a promising new business, in exchange for an investment of ten thousand dollars. Drawn to the idea, Crane plans to blackmail his wife's lover for the money. While filming a barbershop scene in The Hudsucker Proxy, the Coens were attracted to a poster on the wall showing all the different 1940s-style haircuts. They were inspired by the work of writer James M. Cain, in particular, the novels Double Indemnity, The Postman Always Rings Twice, and Mildred Pierce. Despite being a neo-noir story, The Coens replaced the underworld setting with a typical American town with ordinary people. The film was well received by critics, but failed to recoup its $20 million budget.
Intolerable Cruelty (2003)"Engage the enemy."Their tenth film. The film stars George Clooney, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Geoffrey Rush, Cedric the Entertainer, Edward Herrmann, Paul Adelstein, Richard Jenkins and Billy Bob Thornton, and follows Miles Massey, a high-profile divorce lawyer, who wins a case for his rich but adulterous client Rex Rexroth. But Rex's ex-wife, Marylin, who is no saint and is a gold-digger, plots to take revenge on Miles. This project actually wasn't started by the Coens. It originated from writers John Romano, Robert Ramsey and Matthew Stone. This was constantly scripted through the 90s, with Carrie Fisher even serving as script doctor. Ron Howard backed out and Jonathan Demme signed, and the plan was for Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant to star. After they exited, the Coens were hired for a rewrite and they subsequently directed the project. They were given a $60 million budget, their most expensive film back then. The film failed to impress domestically, although it was much stronger overseas, managing to double its budget and becoming their first film to hit $100 million. Reviews were positive, although many noted that the film was solely a job-for-hire for the Coens.
The Ladykillers (2004)"The greatest criminal minds of all time have finally met their match."Their 11th film. A remake of the 1955 British comedy film, it stars Tom Hanks, Irma P. Hall, Marlon Wayans, J. K. Simmons, Tzi Ma and Ryan Hurst. It follows an eccentric, if not charming Southern professor and his crew as they pose as a classical ensemble in order to rob a casino, all under the nose of his unsuspecting but sharp old landlady. Originally, Barry Sonnenfeld was scheduled to direct and the Coens were hired as writers. When he left the project, the Coens decided to direct it themselves while Sonnenfeld remained as a producer. Notably, after 20 years of fighting with the DGA, this was the first film where Ethan was co-credited as director and where Joel was co-credited as producer. The film was not well received by critics, who compared it unfavorably to the original film. Nevertheless, with a reliable star as Hanks, the film earned more than twice its budget. To date, it's deemed as one of the Coens' weakest films.
No Country for Old Men (2007)"There are no clean getaways."Their 12th film. Based on Cormac McCarthy's novel, it stars Tommy Lee Jones, Javier Bardem, Josh Brolin, Kelly Macdonald and Woody Harrelson. The film is set in the desert landscape of 1980 West Texas, and follows three main characters: Llewelyn Moss, a Vietnam War veteran and welder who stumbles upon a large sum of money in the desert; Anton Chigurh, a hitman who is sent to recover the money; and Ed Tom Bell, a sheriff investigating the crime. After failing to get an adaptation of To the White Sea, the Coens agreed to write and direct the film when Scott Rudin approached them, having identified with how it provided a sense of place and also how it played with genre conventions. The script was mostly faithful to the source material. On their writing process, Ethan said, "One of us types into the computer while the other holds the spine of the book open flat." The Coens minimized the score used in the film, leaving large sections devoid of music. The concept was Ethan's, who persuaded a skeptical Joel to go with the idea. Coincidentally, Paul Thomas Anderson’s film There Will Be Blood was being shot in Marfa simultaneously. The Coen brothers were actually forced to scrap an entire day of filming for their film when preparations for the oil derrick scene in There Will Be Blood nearby produced enough smoke to ruin all potential scenes. The film had a strong debut in limited release, earning $1,226,333 from just 28 theaters. It slowly expanded and had strong holds. Domestically, it finished with $74 million, and it was even bigger overseas, hitting $171 million worldwide, becoming their highest grossing film. Reception was unanimously acclaimed, and some have pointed that the film might be their best film, as well as one of the best films ever made. At the 80th Academy Awards, the film received 8 nominations and won four: Best Supporting Actor for Javier Bardem, and Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Director and Best Picture for the Coens.
Burn After Reading (2008)"Intelligence is relative."Their 13th film. It stars George Clooney, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich, Tilda Swinton, Richard Jenkins, and Brad Pitt. It follows a recently jobless CIA analyst, Osbourne Cox, whose misplaced memoirs are found by a pair of dimwitted gym employees. When they mistake the memoirs for classified government documents, they undergo a series of misadventures in an attempt to profit from their find. The Coens compared the film to the Allen Drury political novel Advise and Consent and called it "our version of a Tony Scott/Jason Bourne kind of movie, without the explosions." Joel said that they intended to create a spy film because "we hadn't done one before", but feels that the final result was more of a character-driven film than a spy story. The film received a positive response for its humor. The big surprise was at the box office, however; it debuted with $19 million, becoming their highest grossing opening weekend and their first film to open at #1. It closed with $60 million domestically and $163 million worldwide, a damn great result.
A Serious Man (2009)"...Seriously!"Their 14th film. Set in 1967, the film stars Michael Stuhlbarg as a Minnesotan Jewish man whose life crumbles both professionally and personally, leading him to questions about his faith. The Coens themselves stated that the "germ" of the story was a rabbi from their adolescence: a "mysterious figure" who had a private conversation with each student at the conclusion of their religious education. Ethan said that it seemed appropriate to open the film with a Yiddish folk tale, but as the brothers did not know any suitable ones, they wrote their own. The film received critical acclaim, and some commented on the link between the film and the Biblical Book of Job. It also recouped its budget at the box office. It received two Oscar nominations for Best Original Screenplay and Best Picture.
True Grit (2010)"Punishment comes one way or another."Their 15th film. Based on Charles Portis' novel, it stars Jeff Bridges, Hailee Steinfeld, Matt Damon, Josh Brolin, and Barry Pepper. The film follows 14-year-old farm girl Mattie Ross, who hires Deputy U.S. Marshal Reuben J. "Rooster" Cogburn, a boozy, trigger-happy lawman to go after an outlaw named Tom Chaney who has murdered her father. The bickering duo are accompanied on their quest by a Texas Ranger named LaBoeuf who has been tracking Chaney for killing a Texas state senator. As the three embark on a dangerous adventure, they each have their "grit" tested in various ways. The book was previously adapted into a 1969 film starring John Wayne (who won his first and only Oscar for it). The Coens said they wanted to make a more faithful adaptation, as the original film heavily deviated from the book. In particular, they wanted to explore more of Mattie, making it a priority at the moment of writing. Steinfeld, then age 13, was selected for the role from a pool of 15,000 applicants. Ethan said, "It was, as you can probably imagine, the source of a lot of anxiety. We were aware if the kid doesn't work, there's no movie". The film received critical acclaim, widely considered superior to the original film. At the box office, it benefitted from the holidays and earned $252 million worldwide, becoming their highest grossing film ever. It received 10 Oscar nominations, including Best Picture, but it failed to win a single award.
Inside Llewyn Davis (2013)Their 16th film. It stars Oscar Isaac, Carey Mulligan, John Goodman, Garrett Hedlund, F. Murray Abraham, Justin Timberlake and Adam Driver. Set in 1961, the film follows one week in the life of Llewyn Davis, a folk singer struggling to achieve musical success while keeping his life in order.Well before writing the script, the Coens began with a single idea, of Dave Van Ronk being beaten up outside of Gerde's Folk City in the Village. The filmmakers employed the image in the opening scenes, then periodically returned to the project over the next couple of years to expand the story using a fictional character. Joel felt there wasn't much of a plot, so they decided to add the cat for help. Like their previous films, it received universal acclaim and has been ranked among their greatest works. It also earned $33 million, becoming another box office success for the Coens.
Hail, Caesar! (2016)"Lights. Camera. Abduction."Their 17th film. It stars Josh Brolin, George Clooney, Alden Ehrenreich, Ralph Fiennes, Jonah Hill, Scarlett Johansson, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, Channing Tatum, and Michael Gambon. It is a fictional story that follows the real-life studio fixer Eddie Mannix, working in the Hollywood film industry in the 1950s, trying to discover what happened to a star actor during the filming of a biblical epic. In 1999, the Coens approached Clooney over a new project. The film was originally going to follow "a troupe of actors in the 1920s putting on a play about ancient Rome", with the focus on a matinée idol. Clooney was to play the main character, "a hammy actor with a pencil mustache". But the project was just an idea, and the script didn't start until the 2010s. The film received a positive response from critics, but a more negative response from audiences. Nevertheless, the film earned $63 million, recouping its budget.
The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (2018)"Stories live forever. People don't."Their 18th film. It stars Tim Blake Nelson, Tyne Daly, James Franco, Brendan Gleeson, Bill Heck, Grainger Hines, Zoe Kazan, Harry Melling, Liam Neeson, Jonjo O'Neill, Chelcie Ross, Saul Rubinek, and Tom Waits, and features six vignettes set on the American frontier. Originally starting as a TV show, it was based on Western-themed short stories, some of which were written by the Coens over a period of 20 to 25 years that vary in mood and subject. As they developed it, they decided to turn it into an anthology film. As the film was released on Netflix, there are no box office numbers available. It received positive reviews, and the song "When a Cowboy Trades His Spurs for Wings" was nominated for Best Original Song at the Oscars. The Tragedy of Macbeth (2021)Joel's 19th film. Based on the play by William Shakespeare, it stars Denzel Washington, Frances McDormand, Bertie Carvel, Alex Hassell, Corey Hawkins, Harry Melling, Kathryn Hunter, and Brendan Gleeson.It's notable for being the first project directed solely by one brother. You'll point out their earliest films, but remember that Ethan was simply uncredited due to DGA rules. Carter Burwell said that it was because Ethan was not interested in films, but Joel explained that it was solely because Ethan was more focused on theater. As it had a very limited release by A24, it went to stream on Apple TV+ after a few weeks, so there are no box office numbers. It received critical acclaim, and Washington was nominated for Best Actor at the Oscars. The FutureEthan had just recently released his first film without his brother, Drive-Away Dolls. As it's only two days old, we won't discuss this here for now. He's also currently working on a new film, Honey Don't!, which will star Margaret Qualley, Aubrey Plaza and Chris Evans.But despite making separate films, the Coens are reuniting with a new film, only described as a horror film. Other ProjectsWhile known as a director-writer duo, they've also made scripts for films they never directed. Some include Crimewave, Bad Santa, A Simple Noodle Story, Gambit, Unbroken, Bridge of Spies and Suburbicon. It should be noted, however, that most of these were rewritten after the Coens left the projects.MOVIES (FROM HIGHEST GROSSING TO LEAST GROSSING)
The VerdictSurprisingly reliable.Very few of their films lost money, and the ones that didn't weren't completely catastrophic. Hell, their films even grow in subsequent years (like The Big Lebowski for example). Particularly impressive considering they don't sacrifice their vision (people will point out Intolerable Cruelty but that film still has its charms). They managed to create masterpieces and some of cinema's most iconic characters and catchphrases. And for those who say otherwise... yeah, well, you know, that's just like uh... your opinion, man. Hope you liked this edition. You can find this and more in the wiki for this section. The next director will be Bryan Singer. This is gonna be tough to write; how can I write about his achievements when there's the elephant in the room? I asked you to choose who else should be in the run and the comment with the most upvotes would be chosen. Well, we'll later talk about... Spike Lee. Hell yeah. This is the schedule for the following four:
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2024.02.17 23:19 SanderSo47 Directors at the Box Office: Joel Schumacher
submitted by SanderSo47 to boxoffice [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/oy9111if08jc1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=3ac7fd7bd17603b7be0602a49535f8fc0fdb3a15 Here's a new edition of "Directors at the Box Office", which seeks to explore the directors' trajectory at the box office and analyze their hits and bombs. I already talked about a few, and as I promised, it's Joel Schumacher's turn. Schumacher had a difficult life as he was growing up. By the time he was 9 years old, he was already drinking alcohol and later used LSD and methamphetamine. At the time of his mother's death in 1965, Schumacher stated that his "life seemed like a joke" as he was $50,000 in debt, lost multiple teeth, and only weighed 130 pounds. However, in 1970, he stopped using drugs and became employed at Henri Bendel, where he said got his self-respect back. He started working in the industry as a costume designer, before moving as a director. From a box office perspective, how reliable was he to deliver a box office hit? That's the point of this post. To analyze his career. The Incredible Shrinking Woman (1981)"Give or take an inch."His directorial debut. It stars Lily Tomlin, Charles Grodin, Ned Beatty, John Glover, and Elizabeth Wilson, and follows a housewife who grows smaller and smaller in reaction to chemicals found in cosmetics and household products. Originally, the film started filming with John Landis as director. In his version, the movie would have ended with the heroine giving a speech in Washington, D.C. when she was less than a foot tall. After a few days, he left as Universal chose to make budget cuts, and they hired Schumacher with a smaller scale. The film received negative reviews, who unfavorably compared it to The Incredible Shrinking Man, the film it was lampooning. Even with the budget cuts, the film had a mediocre run at the box office, barely doubling its budget. But it's tough in blaming him for this, given that he only had a few days to prepare.
D.C. Cab (1983)"When these guys hit the streets, guess what hits the fan."His second film. It stars Max Gail, Adam Baldwin, Mr. T, Charlie Barnett, Gary Busey, Marsha Warfield, Whitman Mayo, John Diehl, Bob Zmuda, Timothy Carey, Bill Maher, and Irene Cara, and follows the misadventures of a group of unfortunate but streetwise cabbies working for a Washington, D.C., decrepit taxicab company. Like the previous film, it received negative reviews for its writing and tone. It also barely doubled its budget, but Schumacher really needed to start making hits if he wanted to have a career.
St. Elmo's Fire (1985)"The heat this summer is at Saint Elmo's Fire."His third film. It stars Emilio Estevez, Rob Lowe, Andrew McCarthy, Demi Moore, Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy, Andie MacDowell and Mare Winningham, and centers on a clique of recent graduates of Washington, D.C.'s Georgetown University, and their adjustment to post-university life and the responsibilities of adulthood. Schumacher said that the film struggled in finding a studio interested, with the head of a major studio calling the cast "the most loathsome humans he had ever read on the page." John Hughes recommended Estevez, Nelson and Sheedy after working with them on The Breakfast Club, and Schumacher had to push hard against the studio executives in casting them. Like his previous films, it attained poor reviews. The good news, however, is that it would gross $37 million domestically, becoming his first hit. It's seen as an example of the Brat Pack movies.
The Lost Boys (1987)"Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die. It's fun to be a vampire."His fourth film. It stars Corey Feldman, Jami Gertz, Corey Haim, Edward Herrmann, Barnard Hughes, Jason Patric, Kiefer Sutherland and Dianne Wiest, and follows two teenage brothers who move with their divorced mother to the town of Santa Carla, California, only to discover that the town is a haven for vampires. The co-writer, James Jeremias, said he was inspired by Peter Pan in the making of the script, "I had read Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire, and in that there was a 200-year-old vampire trapped in the body of a 12-year-old girl. Since Peter Pan had been one of my all-time favourite stories, I thought, 'What if the reason Peter Pan came out at night and never grew up and could fly was because he was a vampire?" Originally, Richard Donner would direct the film, which would carry a tone similar to The Goonies. In this way the film was envisioned as more of a juvenile vampire adventure with 13 or 14 year old vampires, while the Frog brothers were "chubby 8 year-old Cub Scouts" and the character of Star was a young boy. But Donner had to leave due to other commitments, so Schumacher replaced him. He came up with the idea of making the film sexier and more adult, bringing on screenwriter Jeffrey Boam to retool the script and raise the ages of the characters. After directing poorly reviewed films, this was Schumacher's first film to receive a very good response. It was also a box office success, earning $32 million domestically.
Cousins (1989)"Love at first sight. Consequences to follow."His fifth film. A remake of the French film Cousin Cousine, it stars Ted Danson, Isabella Rossellini, Sean Young, William Petersen, Keith Coogan, Lloyd Bridges and Norma Aleandro. It follows two couples who go to a mutual friend's wedding and end up swapping partners. The film drew mixed reviews, as many considered that it was an unnecessary remake. It made $22 million domestically.
Flatliners (1990)"Some lines shouldn't be crossed."His sixth film. It stars Kiefer Sutherland, Julia Roberts, William Baldwin, Oliver Platt, and Kevin Bacon, and follows five medical students who attempt to find out what lies beyond death by conducting clandestine experiments that produce near-death experiences. The film drew mixed reactions, as critics felt it did not live up to its potential. But it was a box office success, earning $61 million domestically.
Dying Young (1991)"She's giving him something nobody else could. A reason to live."His seventh film. stars Julia Roberts, Campbell Scott, Vincent D'Onofrio, Colleen Dewhurst, David Selby, and Ellen Burstyn, and follows a caregiver who falls in love with a terminally ill man. The film received negative reviews, with critics panning its melodramatic tone. But as the film starred Julia Roberts after the huge hit that was Pretty Woman, this was a box office success, earning $82 million worldwide.
Falling Down (1993)"The adventures of an ordinary man at war with the everyday world."His eighth film. It stars Michael Douglas, Robert Duvall, Barbara Hershey, Rachel Ticotin, Frederic Forrest, and Tuesday Weld. It follows William Foster, a divorced and unemployed former defense engineer. It centers on Foster's trek across the city of Los Angeles as he attempts to reach the house of his estranged ex-wife in time for his daughter's birthday. Along the way, a series of encounters, both trivial and provocative, cause him to react with increasing violence and to make sardonic observations on life, poverty, the economy, and commercialism. Screenwriter Ebbe Roe Smith said that he wanted to make something that would represent the old times in modern times, "To me, even though the movie deals with complicated urban issues, it really is just about one basic thing: The main character represents the old power structure of the U.S. that has now become archaic, and hopelessly lost. For both of them, it's adjust-or-die time." While filming, the 1992 Los Angeles riots began, causing delays in the production. The film polarized critics on its initial release, particularly for its violence and protagonist. But given that it had a reliable box office star like Michael Douglas, it was a huge success, earning almost $100 million. That makes it six box office successes in a row for Schumacher, so he was clearly doing something right. In subsequent years, the film's reputation would grow, thanks to its themes.
The Client (1994)"A district attorney out for a conviction. A new lawyer out of her league. A young boy who knew too much."His ninth film. Based on John Grisham's novel, it stars Susan Sarandon, Tommy Lee Jones, Brad Renfro (his acting film debut), Mary-Louise Parker, Anthony LaPaglia, Anthony Edwards, and Ossie Davis. It follows a young boy who witnesses the suicide of a mafia lawyer, and hires an attorney to protect him when the District Attorney tries to use him to take down a mob family. The film drew positive reviews from critics. As John Grisham's adaptations were very popular, this film enjoyed success at the box office, earning $117 million worldwide. That's seven box office hits in a row for Schumacher.
Batman Forever (1995)"Courage now. Truth always..."His tenth film. The stand-alone sequel to Batman and Batman Returns, it stars Val Kilmer, Jim Carrey, Tommy Lee Jones, Nicole Kidman, Chris O'Donnell, Michael Gough, and Pat Hingle. The film's story focuses on Batman trying to stop Two-Face and the Riddler in their scheme to extract information from all the minds in Gotham City while adopting an orphaned acrobat named Dick Grayson — who becomes his sidekick, Robin — and developing feelings for psychologist Dr. Chase Meridian. We discussed this in Tim Burton's post, but here we go again. Batman Returns was a box office success, but it was still considered disappointing given the huge $150 million drop from the original. It also drew backlash from parents, who deemed the film too dark for their children. Even McDonalds said this as they recalled their Happy Meal tie-in, so Warner Bros. concluded that this was the biggest setback. As such, they fired Tim Burton from directing the follow-up film, although Burton agreed to stay as a producer. Schumacher was chosen as the new director, and Burton gave him his approval. He was interested in adaptating Batman: Year One, and Michael Keaton was also enthusiastic about the proposal. But WB shot down that aspect, and the film's intended focus on a psychotic Riddler was altered for a lighter version. Producer Peter MacGregor-Scott represented the studio's aim in making a film for the MTV Generation, with full merchandising appeal. Schumacher mostly eschewed the dark, dystopian atmosphere of Burton's films by drawing inspiration from the Batman comic books of the Dick Sprang era, as well as the 1960s television series. But the film faced a big challenge, as Keaton chose not to return as the title character after meeting with Schumacher. He opened up about it: “I remember one of the things that I walked away going, ‘Oh boy, I can’t do this,’ [Schumacher] asked me, ‘I don’t understand why everything has to be so dark and everything so sad,’ and I went, ‘Wait a minute, do you know how this guy got to be Batman? Have you read… I mean, it’s pretty simple.’ One of the reasons I couldn’t do [‘Batman Forever’] was he, at one point, after more than a couple of meetings where I kept trying to rationalize doing it and hopefully talking him into saying ‘I think we don’t want to go in this direction, I think we should go in this direction.’ And he wasn’t going to budge.”The search for a new Batman began, with Ethan Hawke, Keanu Reeves, Alec and William Baldwin, Dean Cain, Tom Hanks, Kurt Russell, Ralph Fiennes, Daniel Day-Lewis and Johnny Depp considered. The latter was heavily pushed by Burton, but Schumacher was not enticed with the idea. Val Kilmer, who as a child visited the studios where the 1960s series was recorded, and shortly before had visited a bat cave in Africa, was contacted by his agent for the role. Kilmer signed on without reading the script or knowing who the director was. For Two-Face, despite Billy Dee Williams playing him in the original Batman, Tommy Lee Jones was chosen to play him here (at his son's insistence). Robin Williams and John Malkovich competed for the role of Riddler, which eventually went to Jim Carrey. Leonardo DiCaprio was offered the role of Robin but turned it down after meeting with Schumacher. Schumacher attempted to create a cameo role for Bono as his MacPhisto character, but both came to agree it was not suitable for the film. During filming, Schumacher and Kilmer clashed over their creative differences. Schumacher described Kilmer as "childish and impossible," reporting that he fought with various crewmen, and refused to speak to Schumacher for two weeks after the director told him to stop being rude. He also said he was annoyed by Jones' behavior on set, which also upset Carrey. Carrey acknowledged that Jones was not friendly to him, and recounted an incident wherein Jones found him off-set during the production, and told him: "I hate you. I really don't like you... I cannot sanction your buffoonery." The film opened with $52 million in its opening weekend, which was a record at the time. It eventually closed with $184 million domestically and $336 million worldwide, both numbers up from Batman Returns but still below the original Batman. But the film received mixed-to-negative reviews, and was unfavorably compared to Burton's films.
A Time to Kill (1996)"A lawyer and his assistant fighting to save a father on trial for murder. A time to question what they believe. A time to doubt what they trust. And no time for mistakes."His 11th film. Based on John Grisham's novel, it stars Sandra Bullock, Samuel L. Jackson, Matthew McConaughey, Kevin Spacey, Donald Sutherland and Kiefer Sutherland. In Canton, Mississippi, a fearless young lawyer and his assistant defend a black man accused of murdering two white men who raped his ten-year-old daughter, inciting violent retribution and revenge from the Ku Klux Klan. It received a favorable response, although critics disliked the 149-minute runtime. Decades later, Samuel L. Jackson was highly critical of the film's editorial decisions, claiming big, emotional scenes for his character were removed, which "kept me from getting an Oscar." But as Grisham was popular, the film was a box office success, earning $152 million worldwide. That's nine box office successes in a row for Schumacher. And the next one is the guaranteed hitmaker Batman, so that should be ten, right?
Batman & Robin (1997)"Strength. Courage. Honor. And loyalty."His 12th film. The sequel to Batman Forever, it stars George Clooney, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chris O'Donnell, Uma Thurman and Alicia Silverstone. The film follows the eponymous characters as they attempt to prevent Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy from taking over the world, while at the same time struggling to keep their partnership together. After the success of Batman Forever, Warner Bros. quickly commissioned a sequel with Schumacher back. Schumacher wanted to pay homage to the work of the classic Batman comic books of his childhood. The story was conceived by Schumacher and Akiva Goldsman during pre-production on A Time to Kill. Portions of Mr. Freeze's backstory were based on the Batman: The Animated Series episode "Heart of Ice", but Goldsman expressed concerns about the script during pre-production discussions with Schumacher. Schumacher stated that he was given the mandate by the studio to make the film more toyetic, even when compared to Batman Forever. The studio reportedly included toy companies in pre-production meetings; Mr. Freeze's blaster was specifically designed by toy manufacturers. O'Donnell reprised his role, yet Kilmer didn't. Whether if it was because he quit or got fired, that's anyone's guess. WB executive Bob Daly suggested George Clooney, then a main cast member of the megahit show ER, as the title character. Schumacher chose Clooney after seeing his performance in From Dusk till Dawn. Schumacher felt that Clooney "brought a real humanity and humor to the piece, an accessibility that I don't think anybody else has been able to offer" and that he strongly resembled the character from the comic books. Schumacher also believed that Clooney could provide a lighter interpretation of the character than Kilmer and Michael Keaton. Filming was accommodated so that Clooney could simultaneously work on ER without any scheduling conflicts. Mr. Freeze was written specifically to accommodate Arnold Schwarzenegger's casting. To prepare for the role, Schwarzenegger wore a bald cap after declining to shave his head, wore a blue LED in his mouth, and had acrylic paint applied. The blue LEDs had to be wrapped in balloons after battery acid started leaking into Schwarzenegger's mouth. His prosthetic makeup and wardrobe took six hours to apply each day. The extensive time spent on Schwarzenegger's costume significantly restricted his shooting time as his contract was limited to 12 work hours a day. For all of this, Schwarzenegger was paid a colossal $25 million salary for the role. The film opened with $42 million, which was considered disappointing given the record-breaking openings of the franchise. While those films legged out, this one didn't, and it closed with just $107 million domestically and $238 million worldwide. That made it a box office flop, given the $125 million budget (with some even saying it actually cost $160 million) and another $125 million spent on marketing. How could this happen? Wasn't Batman a flop-proof character? Now it bombs? What does that mean for the future of the franchise or comic books in general? Schumacher criticized "prejudicial prerelease buzz" online and false news reports as a cause for the film's poor commercial performance. He blamed, but perhaps he should have looked at his own work. The film was panned by critics and audiences, who disliked the acting, story, effects, dialogue, tone, etc. The nipples seen on the character's costumes remain among the most defining and mocked aspects of the film. It would be named as one of the worst comic books ever, as well as one of the worst films ever made. Kevin Feige said that the film may be the most important comic book film ever made in that it was "so bad that it demanded a new way of doing things" and created the opportunity to make X-Men and Spider-Man in a way that respected the source material to a higher degree. Schumacher, Goldman and Clooney have all apologized for the film and have come to regret their participation. Tim Burton recently said about WB's decisions, "You complain about me, I'm too weird, I'm too dark, and then you put nipples on the costume? Go fuck yourself." In contrast, Schwarzenegger and Thurman have said they loved the experience and don't regret being part of the film. During filming, WB was impressed with the dailies, prompting them to immediately hire Joel Schumacher to return as director for a fifth film, scheduled to be released in 1999. It was going to be titled Batman Unchained and would feature the Scarecrow as the main villain, who, through the use of his fear toxin, resurrects the Joker as a hallucination in Batman's mind. Harley Quinn would appear as a supporting character, written as the Joker's daughter. Schumacher approached Nicolas Cage to portray the Scarecrow while Courtney Love was considered for Harley Quinn. After the failure of the film, WB canceled the project and put the franchise on thin ice. It took someone else to bring back the character to his glory days, but we'll get to that later on.
8mm (1999)"You can't prepare for where the truth will take you."His 13th film. It stars Nicolas Cage,Joaquin Phoenix, James Gandolfini, Peter Stormare, and Anthony Heald, and follows a private investigator who delves into the world of snuff films. The film was panned for its lack of suspense, but as it had Cage at the prime of his career, it still earned almost $100 million worldwide.
Flawless (1999)"Nobody's perfect. Everybody's..."His 14th film. It stars Robert De Niro, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Barry Miller, Chris Bauer, Wilson Jermaine Heredia, and Daphne Rubin-Vega, and follows an ultraconservative security guard who suffers a debilitating stroke and is assigned to a rehabilitative program that includes singing lessons with the drag queen next door. The film was panned, and it didn't come anywhere close to recouping its budget, becoming his lowest grossing film so far.
Tigerland (2000)"The system wanted them to become soldiers. One soldier just wanted to be human."His 15th film. It stars Colin Farrell, Matthew Davis, Shea Whigham, Clifton Collins Jr., Thomas Guiry, and Cole Hauser. A group of recruits go through Advanced Infantry Training at Fort Polk, Louisiana's infamous Tigerland, last stop before Vietnam for tens of thousands of young men in 1971. While it was well received, Fox dumped the project on very few theaters, making it a flop.
Bad Company (2002)"Two mismatched partners. One messed up case."His 16th film. It stars Anthony Hopkins and Chris Rock, and follows the assassination of an Ivy League-educated C.I.A. Agent during an operation, prompting the secret agency recruits his twin brother. The film was originally slated to be released on December 25, 2001, but because of the 9/11 attacks, the film's release was postponed given the fact the film was about a terrorist attack on New York City. But it became a critical and commercial dud either way. This was his third flop in a row. Ouch.
Phone Booth (2003)"Your life is on the line."His 17th film. It stars Colin Farrell, Forest Whitaker, Katie Holmes, Radha Mitchell, and Kiefer Sutherland, and follows a malevolent hidden sniper who calls a phone booth, and when a young publicist inside answers the phone, he quickly finds his life is at risk. The project actually started development back in the 1960s, when Larry Cohen wrote a script for Alfred Hitchcock. He wanted to make something like Rope, but now set in a phone booth. Hitchcock liked the idea, but the project did not move forward, because the two men were unable to devise a plot which explained why the action had to be restricted to the one location. Cohen didn't come up with an answer until the 90s, when Hitchcock already died. Schumacher signed up, and the film's real-time aspect and split screens mirrored the show 24, which starred Sutherland. The film was a much needed win for Schumacher. It was well received, and earned almost $100 million worldwide.
Veronica Guerin (2003)"Why would anyone want to kill Veronica Guerin?"His 18th film. The film stars Cate Blanchett, and focuses on Irish journalist Veronica Guerin, whose investigation into the drug trade in Dublin led to her murder in 1996, at the age of 37. The film received mixed reviews, feeling the film didn't make any justice to the character. And it only earned half of its budget. sigh
The Phantom of the Opera (2004)"Her voice became his passion. Her love became his obsession. Her refusal became his rage."His 19th film. Based on Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical, which in turn is based on the French novel by Gaston Leroux, it stars Gerard Butler, Emmy Rossum, Patrick Wilson, Miranda Richardson, Minnie Driver, Simon Callow, Ciarán Hinds, Victor McGuire, and Jennifer Ellison. A young soprano becomes the obsession of a disfigured and murderous musical genius who lives beneath the Paris Opéra House. The film received mixed reviews, although the film still hit $154 million worldwide, becoming one of his highest grossing films.
The Number 23 (2007)"The truth will kill you."His 20th film. It stars Jim Carrey, Virginia Madsen, Logan Lerman, and Danny Huston, and follows a man who becomes obsessed with the 23 enigma once he reads about it in a strange book that seemingly mirrors his own life. The film received awful reviews, although Carrey has praised the film as helping him expand into thriller territory. But it was a box office success, thanks to Carrey's star power.
Blood Creek (2009)"In the early '40s, Adolf Hitler believed the occult held the secret to immortality. Almost a century later, the nightmare has awakened."His 21st film. It stars Dominic Purcell and Henry Cavill, and follows two brothers on a mission of revenge who become trapped in a harrowing occult experiment dating back to the Third Reich. The film was poorly received and was dumped by Lionsgate, so it was just another bomb.
Twelve (2010)"No one needs anything here. It's all about want."His 22nd film. Based on Nick McDonell's novel, it stars Chace Crawford, Rory Culkin, Curtis Jackson, Emily Meade, and Emma Roberts. The film follows a young drug dealer whose luxurious lifestyle falls apart after his cousin is murdered and his best friend is arrested for the crime. Surprise surprise. Another critical and commercial dud.
Trespass (2011)"When terror is at your door, you can run, or you can fight."His 23rd and final film. It stars Nicolas Cage, Nicola Kidman, Ben Mendelsohn, Cam Gigandet, Liana Liberato, Jordana Spiro, Dash Mihok, Emily Meade and Nico Tortorella., and follows a married couple taken hostage by extortionists. It was named among the worst films of the year, and was also a box office bomb. It was Schumacher's final film before his death in 2020.
Other ProjectsHe has also directed many music videos and TV shows. In the latter aspect, he directed two episodes of House of Cards in 2013, which were his final credits before his death.MOVIES (FROM HIGHEST GROSSING TO LEAST GROSSING)
The VerdictIt was surprising to see the results of his early films. He had nine box office hits in a row. Hell, even his first two films that bombed weren't really disasters. So while he wasn't always a critics darling, he really knew what the audience wanted to see. Batman & Robin, however, marked the beginning of the end for him. He was no longer synonymous with box office success, and more films started bombing. And like mentioned, he was never a critics darling, so some of his films have been panned and considered some of their year's worst films. It's not a bad filmography all round, it's just so inconsistent.And when people claim "Batman is flop-proof", well there you have it. All it takes is one awful movie, and the character is no longer reliable. Nothing is guaranteed. Hope you liked this edition. You can find this and more in the wiki for this section. The next director will be Joel & Ethan Coen. Just as Drive-Away Dolls is coming up. I asked you, and you chose to delay Christopher Nolan's post by 1-2 months. Fine with me. I'm in no hurry. I asked you to choose who else should be in the run and the comment with the most upvotes would be chosen. Well, we'll later talk about... M. Night Shyamalan. The rise and fall and rise and fall and rise and fall... This is the schedule for the following four:
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