Compensation for a major depressive disorder
/r/depression, because nobody should be alone in a dark place
2009.01.01 02:17 /r/depression, because nobody should be alone in a dark place
Peer support for anyone struggling with a depressive disorder
2020.01.23 23:40 newbieforever2016 Wellbutrin -Bupropion
Wellbutrin -Bupropion , all things related to this antidepressant. Zyban. Norepinephrine–dopamine reuptake inhibitor (NDRI) , major depressive disorder, atypical antidepressant , Epileptic seizures , ADHD, alleviate sexual dysfunction, weight loss, releasing agent of dopamine and norepinephrine (NDRA), similarly to other cathinones , Wellbutrin SR and XL
2011.01.13 00:42 datri Hoarding: Informal peer-to-peer support for people with hoarding disorder, and their loved ones
Support for people living with hoarding disorder, and for their loved ones.
2024.05.16 19:30 Few_Zookeepergame_47 Misdiagnosed with mental health disorder that was actually a neurological disorder
15 years ago I became severely ill with neurological issues (including seizures and being unable to walk without assistance). Neuro and PCP couldn't figure it out, so they kept sending me to psych. Psych would send me back to PCP saying I'm cleared from a MH standpoint, and round and round we went for 1.5 years. Eventually the psych doc offered me a generalized diagnosis so I could move forward with a med board. I wanted to get on with my life and seek my own private healthcare, so I accepted this as I felt I had no other option. VA rated me 70% for this psych diagnosis because I'm unable to work and many days unable to care for myself.
Years later, I now have a proper diagnosis of a rare neuromuscular disorder that was triggered by a medication reaction while AD. What's sick is that there is evidence of this rare disorder in my records while AD, but it was ignored. My condition can be life-threatening in various ways and I am still unable to properly hold a job or pursue an education. Without a doubt, I should be eligible for 100%, but I'm unsure how to go about filing a claim when a misdiagnosis from a mental health diagnosis to a physical diagnosis is involved. If I go to a VA psych exam, I'm concerned they'll clear me and I'll lose my 70% - which I cannot afford to risk.
Do I just shut up and accept the shitty hand I've been dealt, or is there a way I can pursue receiving compensation for my actual diagnosed condition without risking that 70%? Would a supplemental claim be involved?
submitted by Few_Zookeepergame_47 to VeteransBenefits [link] [comments]
Years later, I now have a proper diagnosis of a rare neuromuscular disorder that was triggered by a medication reaction while AD. What's sick is that there is evidence of this rare disorder in my records while AD, but it was ignored. My condition can be life-threatening in various ways and I am still unable to properly hold a job or pursue an education. Without a doubt, I should be eligible for 100%, but I'm unsure how to go about filing a claim when a misdiagnosis from a mental health diagnosis to a physical diagnosis is involved. If I go to a VA psych exam, I'm concerned they'll clear me and I'll lose my 70% - which I cannot afford to risk.
Do I just shut up and accept the shitty hand I've been dealt, or is there a way I can pursue receiving compensation for my actual diagnosed condition without risking that 70%? Would a supplemental claim be involved?
2024.05.16 19:26 Stories4Kids The Impact of Screen Time and Internet Use on Children’s Health
The Impact of Screen Time and Internet Use on Children’s Health
In the digital age, children are increasingly exposed to screens and the internet. While technology offers educational and entertainment opportunities, excessive use can lead to various health concerns. This article explores the physical, psychological, and social impacts of screen time and internet use on children, supported by recent research and expert opinions.Physical Health Effects
1. Vision Problems: Prolonged screen time can cause digital eye strain, characterized by symptoms such as dryness, irritation, and blurred vision. The American Optometric Association highlights that children may not recognize these issues, leading to untreated vision problems .2. Sleep Disturbances: Exposure to blue light from screens interferes with the production of melatonin, a hormone that regulates sleep. Studies show that children who use screens before bedtime have a harder time falling asleep and experience poorer sleep quality . The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends shutting off devices at least one hour before bedtime .
3. Obesity: High screen time is associated with sedentary behavior, contributing to obesity in children. A study published in the International Journal of Obesity found a significant correlation between screen time and increased body mass index (BMI) in children . The sedentary lifestyle also limits physical activity, essential for maintaining a healthy weight.
Psychological Effects
1. Attention Problems: Excessive screen time, particularly in the form of fast-paced and interactive media, can impair attention spans in children. Research from the University of Alberta found that children with higher screen time had a greater likelihood of developing attention problems .2. Behavioral Issues: There is evidence linking high screen time with behavioral problems, including increased aggression and emotional instability. The Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics reported that children with more than two hours of screen time per day were more likely to exhibit symptoms of ADHD and other behavioral disorders .
3. Mental Health Concerns: Social media and internet use can contribute to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem in children. The Royal Society for Public Health (RSPH) indicates that platforms like Instagram and Snapchat can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and anxiety .
Social Effects
1. Social Skills Development: Excessive internet use can impair face-to-face social interactions, crucial for developing empathy and communication skills. A study in the journal Computers in Human Behavior found that children who spent more time on screens had poorer social skills compared to their peers who engaged more in direct interactions .2. Cyberbullying: The internet exposes children to the risk of cyberbullying, which can have severe psychological impacts. According to a report by the Cyberbullying Research Center, about 34% of students have experienced cyberbullying, leading to increased rates of depression and anxiety among victims .
3. Academic Performance: While educational content on the internet can be beneficial, excessive recreational screen time can negatively impact academic performance. The AAP suggests that screen time should be balanced with other activities to ensure it does not interfere with homework and study time .
Recommendations for Parents and Guardians
To mitigate the negative effects of screen time and internet use, the following guidelines are recommended:- Set Time Limits: The AAP suggests limiting screen time to one hour per day for children aged 2 to 5 years and ensuring it does not interfere with sleep, physical activity, and other behaviors essential to health.
- Encourage Physical Activity: Ensure children engage in at least 60 minutes of physical activity daily.
- Promote Healthy Screen Habits: Encourage breaks during screen use to reduce eye strain and ensure devices are turned off at least one hour before bedtime.
- Monitor Content: Be aware of what children are accessing online and use parental controls if necessary.
- Foster Offline Activities: Encourage hobbies and activities that do not involve screens to balance their lifestyle.
Conclusion
While screens and the internet are integral to modern life, it is crucial to manage their use to protect children’s physical, psychological, and social health. By setting appropriate limits and encouraging a balanced lifestyle, parents and guardians can help mitigate the adverse effects and promote a healthier digital environment for children.Sources:
- American Optometric Association. "Computer Vision Syndrome."
- Sleep Foundation. "How Blue Light Affects Sleep."
- American Academy of Pediatrics. "Children and Media Tips from the AAP."
- International Journal of Obesity. "Screen Time and Obesity."
- University of Alberta. "Impact of Screen Time on Attention."
- Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics. "Behavioral Issues Linked to Screen Time."
- Royal Society for Public Health. "Social Media and Mental Health."
- Computers in Human Behavior. "Screen Time and Social Skills."
- Cyberbullying Research Center. "Cyberbullying Facts."
- American Academy of Pediatrics. "Media Use Guidelines for Children."
2024.05.16 19:22 Longjumping_Ear8089 [NE] chances of me getting full custody of kids?
I am planning on divorcing my spouse. I am a man with two kids under 5. I already know the courts won't favor me because my gender as I've been told and witnessed personally. The lawyer I contacted said that the chances of me getting full custody are slim and that the court may choose a rang of custody options. I have some good evidence (photos, videos, voice recordings) of the neglect my wife has committed. Mainly neglecting to clean and letting food sit out and get smashed in carpets, poop smeared in carpets and on toys, dirty diapers laying around, bottles with rotten milk in them (after I returned from business trip) and others. She has a history of mental health and I have her on voice recording saying how she wants to kill herself and how I make her want to kill herself. She has been admitted to a psych ward 3 years ago, has been seeing a therapist for 3 years off and on. Has a range of diagnosis from PTSD (supposedly from child birth) to borderline personality disorder. Has lied and gaslit me for a while as well as being INCREDIBLY irresponsible with money and lying about money being used for child care only to spend the majority on other stuff (mainly done on business trips when I'm gone). I don't know how she would even live in the same state given her family lives in another and she cannot hold down a job to save her life. So what would happen with child custody if she left the state after the divorce is settled? And what are my chances of getting full custody if not majority custody?
submitted by Longjumping_Ear8089 to AskLawyers [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 19:19 Reasonable-Fudge-939 41/F relationship issues with 42/M the bit keeps deleting my post because I can’t seem to word an acceptable question. is this an acceptable question?
I know this is unnecessarily long, so if you are not in the mood for reading, I understand. But I would greatly appreciate anyone who would take the time to read my story that is probably TMI and badly in need of some editing. I just really need some advice from people whose heads are less cloudy than mine.
My fiancé M/42 and I F41 have been together for about 4 years and have known each other since high school. I knew he was a recovering addict when I got together with him but I fell head over heels in love and didn’t see the relapse on the horizon that would occur shortly after the honeymoon phase and would eventually almost kill me - I took a swipe of some mystery powder and touched it to my tongue (fentanyl) thinking it would help me get through the most stressful day of my life as i was ceaning out his place while I was packing him up for detox. It was a total freak accident, I’m not an addict, never done anything like that in my life, I’m a single mom and a kindergarten teacher, but I loved him so much I just followed him down the rabbit hole and honestly just became so disoriented in this world I (naively) didn’t understand or even realize I had signed up for.
Anyway, He literally saved my life, and said I also saved his, because that day is what motivated him to get and stay clean for good despite being an active heroin addict for the majority of his life.
He worked an incredibly thorough program, and he gained more friends, money, and more overall success in 2 years than I’ve been able to scrounge up in an entire lifetime. And it’s no surprise honestly. He’s a special person. Absolutely brilliant, charismatic, driven, and has a heart of gold.
Within a year of getting sober, he moved me and my daughters into a gorgeous home adjacent to a golf course, bought luxury vehicles for both me and him, convinced me to quit my teaching job which was making me miserable, so I could finally be fully present for my girls, and then put a giant diamond ring on my left hand. He completely spoils us. We went from having nothing to having every tangible thing, we could possibly need.
The stability that he provided for us meant the world to a single mom who was barely making ends meet, but it was always just the icing on the cake for me. He’s my best friend in the world, he makes me laugh so hard my mouth hurts from smiling, he show me that he loves even the parts of myself that I don’t find lovable. I found my soulmate.
His program started slipping after 2 1/2 years (last November). He was already struggling in his role of being a stepfather, and we were fighting a lot about parenting stuff. He has a lot to learn, has little patience, and seems to have very unrealistic expectations of my kids. He wanted Parenting to be this effortless thing, and he just doesn’t get that it’s not. And that kids are not always going to behave themselves and that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with them. so we were fighting a lot.
In December, he started complaining about his chronic back pain again (a real issue for him as he’s had five back surgeries due to a snowboarding accident in his early 20s-this was during that height of Purdue Pharma and what got him hooked on pain meds)
While I know he was legitimately in pain, it was also a red flag because pain was the culprit for his last relapse. He decided to go in for a sixth surgery and was told he would have to wait three months. He found a surgeon who has made a lot of profit off of him over the years (as he’s a PI attorney) and was willing to prescribe him generous amounts of pain pills to get him through the three months of increasing pain that he was experiencing. He spent the next three months in bed, depressed, checking out, taking pills depressed, checking out- as I became increasingly suspicious that his behavior was much too loopy for the amount of medication he was being prescribed. I fell into the role of his nurse, and his babysitter. Making sure he didn’t text to nonsense to clients, making sure he didn’t fall and make his back worse, making sure he wasn’t interacting with the kids, etc
I knew he wasn’t being honest with me, but he just kept gaslighting me. It honestly felt like he was psychologically tormenting me, treating me as though I was totally paranoid, heartless and out of line. I thought after the surgery, it would finally get better. I made a promise that I would be there for him because he had never had anyone there for him for the previous surgeries and it had been a really traumatic experience for him in the past. I really stepped up and tried so hard to his rock. The hospital experience was horrific, mainly because no amount of diloted was relieving him of the pain. None of the nurses understood why he needed so much more than everyone else, but I think his tolerance had just become so high.
After that nightmare was finally over I was really counting on things getting better, as the plan was for him to taper off the meds, live pain-free, and get back to normal. It didn’t go that way. It just kept getting worse and no matter how many times I told him that I didn’t trust him he just had an excuse for an explanation for everything. He is a master manipulator and I listened to him do it to everyone, doctors, the pharmacist he formed a “friendship” with, literally everyone.
On Mother’s Day, it got to a point where he couldn’t hide it anymore. He disappeared for the day, Ended up, passing out at a gas station and was unreachable for hours, when he finally came home, the car was all fucked up and he claims it was someone else’s fault. He went straight to his home office and I didn’t see the rest of the night until I walked in on him smoking crushed up pills. After that, he confessed everything to me, including the time that he told me not to check the mail because he had a special surprise for me to thank me for all the love and support I gave him To help him through his surgery. it turned out he had drug dealers sending him drugs in the mail. Needless to say there was no surprise for me me. Just heartbreak and betrayal. I felt like a fool.
I was still processing this the next day when , after insisting on taking a photo of me in these designer sunglasses he purchased for me out of guilt. I asked him not to take my photo, because I had tears in my eyes, but he insisted. He was napping next to me and I opened his phone to erase the photo. we’ve always had each other’s passwords, and have looked through each others photos before for various reasons, sharing photos, etc. I cannot emphasize enough how much I trust his loyalty to me when it comes to anything other than drugs.
But for some reason, all of my photos, the ones I was taking on my phone were showing up in his feed. I was so confused, so I started scrolling through deleting unflattering double chin pictures of myself when I came across that menu photos organized based on face recognition. One of them was his ex. I remember him telling me he deleted all of his photos of her the first time he told me he loved me.
I opened it and scrolled through hundreds of pictures of their happy life together. The pictures got more and more sexual, one of her with her legs spread, another another of them in the bathtub together, her kissing him while he had his hands around her neck, another screenshot of her naked in the shower with a thumbnail shot of him in the corner obviously jerking off to her on FaceTime. Because I’m a masochist I decided to take it one step further and look in his video folder. I found a There I found a thumbnail shot if a close-up of him penetrating her. I watched it and it just completely crushed whatever was left of me.
I’m normally a really passive person, and I just completely lost my mind. I reacted as though I had caught him cheating on me. I just couldn’t handle the physical evidence of such a close up shot of him being inside another woman. It’s stupid because I know, like me, he has a past. Obviously he’s been with other women. Obviously he’s been attracted to them. But it just scarred my brain, I literally haven’t even been able to eat since because I’ve been so nauseous. I know it’s ridiculous, because this is a reality I was well aware existed, but seeing it with my own eyes… I don’t know what to say. Other than that I need a lobotomy.
He says he erased all of those videos and photos from his phone, and something weird happened where all of his photos from the cloud just re-uploaded when he got a new phone. He’s not a technical person and I actually believe him because, aside from being a complete liar when it comes to drugs, he has always show me the upmost, integrity, love and loyalty. So it’s not that I don’t believe him. I just can’t get that image out of my head.
I can’t tell if this intense emotional reaction I’m having would be the same reaction anyone would have if they saw what I saw, or if I’m combining the feelings of betrayal over the gaslighting and the relapse…, the last four months of feeling completely invisible, hopeless, and like he was choosing drugs over me. My mind is like mush and I seriously can’t differentiate between these two very separate issues. I’m so confused, but that’s what gaslighting does to you. It makes you question your reality.
He said that he’s finally willing to go into detox, so at this point, I have waited this long, it would be silly not to stick around and see if he’s finally going to put an end to this. What’s getting me is that he’s still making excuses, still not seeming very remorseful, and is still so deep in self-pity that he doesn’t seem to have any awareness of how badly I’m hurting because of him. It feels like he just doesn’t care. anyone who’s ever loved an addict knows that feeling well.
I’m in Al-anon, and I’m well aware of all of the things I should be doing, focusing on myself, etc. but I’m just not doing well, and I can’t seem to find my way out of this dark hole. Anyone who has made it this far deserves some sort of a Reddit badge of honor. This was more of an autobiography than a simple question. I just wanna hear some outside input because I don’t trust my own mind right now. I’m willing to take your criticism, just please be kind. I know I’ve made mistakes, I’m just hurting so badly. I can’t seem to sort through this. Thank you so much if you took the time to read all of this and still want to respond. You have no idea how much it means to me.
submitted by Reasonable-Fudge-939 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
My fiancé M/42 and I F41 have been together for about 4 years and have known each other since high school. I knew he was a recovering addict when I got together with him but I fell head over heels in love and didn’t see the relapse on the horizon that would occur shortly after the honeymoon phase and would eventually almost kill me - I took a swipe of some mystery powder and touched it to my tongue (fentanyl) thinking it would help me get through the most stressful day of my life as i was ceaning out his place while I was packing him up for detox. It was a total freak accident, I’m not an addict, never done anything like that in my life, I’m a single mom and a kindergarten teacher, but I loved him so much I just followed him down the rabbit hole and honestly just became so disoriented in this world I (naively) didn’t understand or even realize I had signed up for.
Anyway, He literally saved my life, and said I also saved his, because that day is what motivated him to get and stay clean for good despite being an active heroin addict for the majority of his life.
He worked an incredibly thorough program, and he gained more friends, money, and more overall success in 2 years than I’ve been able to scrounge up in an entire lifetime. And it’s no surprise honestly. He’s a special person. Absolutely brilliant, charismatic, driven, and has a heart of gold.
Within a year of getting sober, he moved me and my daughters into a gorgeous home adjacent to a golf course, bought luxury vehicles for both me and him, convinced me to quit my teaching job which was making me miserable, so I could finally be fully present for my girls, and then put a giant diamond ring on my left hand. He completely spoils us. We went from having nothing to having every tangible thing, we could possibly need.
The stability that he provided for us meant the world to a single mom who was barely making ends meet, but it was always just the icing on the cake for me. He’s my best friend in the world, he makes me laugh so hard my mouth hurts from smiling, he show me that he loves even the parts of myself that I don’t find lovable. I found my soulmate.
His program started slipping after 2 1/2 years (last November). He was already struggling in his role of being a stepfather, and we were fighting a lot about parenting stuff. He has a lot to learn, has little patience, and seems to have very unrealistic expectations of my kids. He wanted Parenting to be this effortless thing, and he just doesn’t get that it’s not. And that kids are not always going to behave themselves and that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with them. so we were fighting a lot.
In December, he started complaining about his chronic back pain again (a real issue for him as he’s had five back surgeries due to a snowboarding accident in his early 20s-this was during that height of Purdue Pharma and what got him hooked on pain meds)
While I know he was legitimately in pain, it was also a red flag because pain was the culprit for his last relapse. He decided to go in for a sixth surgery and was told he would have to wait three months. He found a surgeon who has made a lot of profit off of him over the years (as he’s a PI attorney) and was willing to prescribe him generous amounts of pain pills to get him through the three months of increasing pain that he was experiencing. He spent the next three months in bed, depressed, checking out, taking pills depressed, checking out- as I became increasingly suspicious that his behavior was much too loopy for the amount of medication he was being prescribed. I fell into the role of his nurse, and his babysitter. Making sure he didn’t text to nonsense to clients, making sure he didn’t fall and make his back worse, making sure he wasn’t interacting with the kids, etc
I knew he wasn’t being honest with me, but he just kept gaslighting me. It honestly felt like he was psychologically tormenting me, treating me as though I was totally paranoid, heartless and out of line. I thought after the surgery, it would finally get better. I made a promise that I would be there for him because he had never had anyone there for him for the previous surgeries and it had been a really traumatic experience for him in the past. I really stepped up and tried so hard to his rock. The hospital experience was horrific, mainly because no amount of diloted was relieving him of the pain. None of the nurses understood why he needed so much more than everyone else, but I think his tolerance had just become so high.
After that nightmare was finally over I was really counting on things getting better, as the plan was for him to taper off the meds, live pain-free, and get back to normal. It didn’t go that way. It just kept getting worse and no matter how many times I told him that I didn’t trust him he just had an excuse for an explanation for everything. He is a master manipulator and I listened to him do it to everyone, doctors, the pharmacist he formed a “friendship” with, literally everyone.
On Mother’s Day, it got to a point where he couldn’t hide it anymore. He disappeared for the day, Ended up, passing out at a gas station and was unreachable for hours, when he finally came home, the car was all fucked up and he claims it was someone else’s fault. He went straight to his home office and I didn’t see the rest of the night until I walked in on him smoking crushed up pills. After that, he confessed everything to me, including the time that he told me not to check the mail because he had a special surprise for me to thank me for all the love and support I gave him To help him through his surgery. it turned out he had drug dealers sending him drugs in the mail. Needless to say there was no surprise for me me. Just heartbreak and betrayal. I felt like a fool.
I was still processing this the next day when , after insisting on taking a photo of me in these designer sunglasses he purchased for me out of guilt. I asked him not to take my photo, because I had tears in my eyes, but he insisted. He was napping next to me and I opened his phone to erase the photo. we’ve always had each other’s passwords, and have looked through each others photos before for various reasons, sharing photos, etc. I cannot emphasize enough how much I trust his loyalty to me when it comes to anything other than drugs.
But for some reason, all of my photos, the ones I was taking on my phone were showing up in his feed. I was so confused, so I started scrolling through deleting unflattering double chin pictures of myself when I came across that menu photos organized based on face recognition. One of them was his ex. I remember him telling me he deleted all of his photos of her the first time he told me he loved me.
I opened it and scrolled through hundreds of pictures of their happy life together. The pictures got more and more sexual, one of her with her legs spread, another another of them in the bathtub together, her kissing him while he had his hands around her neck, another screenshot of her naked in the shower with a thumbnail shot of him in the corner obviously jerking off to her on FaceTime. Because I’m a masochist I decided to take it one step further and look in his video folder. I found a There I found a thumbnail shot if a close-up of him penetrating her. I watched it and it just completely crushed whatever was left of me.
I’m normally a really passive person, and I just completely lost my mind. I reacted as though I had caught him cheating on me. I just couldn’t handle the physical evidence of such a close up shot of him being inside another woman. It’s stupid because I know, like me, he has a past. Obviously he’s been with other women. Obviously he’s been attracted to them. But it just scarred my brain, I literally haven’t even been able to eat since because I’ve been so nauseous. I know it’s ridiculous, because this is a reality I was well aware existed, but seeing it with my own eyes… I don’t know what to say. Other than that I need a lobotomy.
He says he erased all of those videos and photos from his phone, and something weird happened where all of his photos from the cloud just re-uploaded when he got a new phone. He’s not a technical person and I actually believe him because, aside from being a complete liar when it comes to drugs, he has always show me the upmost, integrity, love and loyalty. So it’s not that I don’t believe him. I just can’t get that image out of my head.
I can’t tell if this intense emotional reaction I’m having would be the same reaction anyone would have if they saw what I saw, or if I’m combining the feelings of betrayal over the gaslighting and the relapse…, the last four months of feeling completely invisible, hopeless, and like he was choosing drugs over me. My mind is like mush and I seriously can’t differentiate between these two very separate issues. I’m so confused, but that’s what gaslighting does to you. It makes you question your reality.
He said that he’s finally willing to go into detox, so at this point, I have waited this long, it would be silly not to stick around and see if he’s finally going to put an end to this. What’s getting me is that he’s still making excuses, still not seeming very remorseful, and is still so deep in self-pity that he doesn’t seem to have any awareness of how badly I’m hurting because of him. It feels like he just doesn’t care. anyone who’s ever loved an addict knows that feeling well.
I’m in Al-anon, and I’m well aware of all of the things I should be doing, focusing on myself, etc. but I’m just not doing well, and I can’t seem to find my way out of this dark hole. Anyone who has made it this far deserves some sort of a Reddit badge of honor. This was more of an autobiography than a simple question. I just wanna hear some outside input because I don’t trust my own mind right now. I’m willing to take your criticism, just please be kind. I know I’ve made mistakes, I’m just hurting so badly. I can’t seem to sort through this. Thank you so much if you took the time to read all of this and still want to respond. You have no idea how much it means to me.
2024.05.16 19:19 Specialist-Onion-608 My experience with Prozac
The short of it is: Prozac has been a net positive for my life. I’ve struggled with addiction, major depressive disorder, and anxiety disorder. It wasn’t until I started Prozac that I could even address the addiction part of it. My other conditions are basically nonexistent now.
Don’t get me wrong, Prozac isn’t solely responsible but it did turn the volume down on the crazy in my head long enough for me to make better decisions, which eventually snowballed into a stable recovery.
I’ve been on Prozac for about 3 years. I started at 20mg/day and moved myself up when things got really tough - which was a mistake. I felt alien to the world and as if reality was being viewed through a bubble.
For the same 3 year period, a side effect of Prozac for me has been daytime fatigue. It’s finally reached a debilitating point and I had to cut my dose down to 10mg/day (per Drs advice this time) and right before bedtime instead of the morning. It’s only been about 10 days but I haven’t seen results on the fatigue yet. I am experiencing withdrawal symptoms in the form of rashes and flu-like symptoms.
I have a follow-up with a urologist today due to an increase in nighttime urination frequency, which started after I started Prozac and could be related. I will post updates here on how that unfolds.
Would love to hear about the experiences of others who’ve been on this stuff for a minute.
submitted by Specialist-Onion-608 to prozac [link] [comments]
Don’t get me wrong, Prozac isn’t solely responsible but it did turn the volume down on the crazy in my head long enough for me to make better decisions, which eventually snowballed into a stable recovery.
I’ve been on Prozac for about 3 years. I started at 20mg/day and moved myself up when things got really tough - which was a mistake. I felt alien to the world and as if reality was being viewed through a bubble.
For the same 3 year period, a side effect of Prozac for me has been daytime fatigue. It’s finally reached a debilitating point and I had to cut my dose down to 10mg/day (per Drs advice this time) and right before bedtime instead of the morning. It’s only been about 10 days but I haven’t seen results on the fatigue yet. I am experiencing withdrawal symptoms in the form of rashes and flu-like symptoms.
I have a follow-up with a urologist today due to an increase in nighttime urination frequency, which started after I started Prozac and could be related. I will post updates here on how that unfolds.
Would love to hear about the experiences of others who’ve been on this stuff for a minute.
2024.05.16 19:18 Votesok 3-Week Post Op
Hi everyone. Not sure if this is a rant, an update, or a request for support post, but we’ll see where it goes.
I just hit 3-weeks post-op, and I’m about to enter the dreaded 3 week lull where I have no clearly measurable milestones to achieve. I’ve been fortunate enough to avoid any major recovery pit falls so far, so there are positives to reflect on. I transitioned from a splint to a boot, and my sutures are out with no apparent issues. I can shower fully on a stool. I take my foot out of the boot at night and put in a night splint. That said, my recovery protocol seems a bit conservative. I’m NWB for six weeks, before I advance to FWB by week eight. Yes, I realize that everyone’s journey is different, but my calf is a noodle and seeing posts of others walking by this point is kinda discouraging. For me, it was a 6 CM tear, FHL transfer, Haglunds removal, removal of chipped bone and speed bridge will full open surgery. I’m not even sure I could have had a more aggressive protocol even if I wanted to, so I won’t dwell on that.
1) Those of you who had longer NWB protocols, how did you handle the times in between milestones?
Like others, I’ve had some ups and downs mentally. I will say though that except for housework (moving some stuff around and taking care of the yard), I really have done everything I would have done uninjured. I’ve gone to bars, restaurants, stores, met up with friends, teleworked, worked out, and been outside plenty. Despite this, I still occasionally get down because of the loss of autonomy. Making a conscious decision to pee when I wake up at 8:30 AM instead of 7:30 AM when I have to go because it’s a hassle to get up, sucks. It’s hard to focus on the fact I’m doing social activities when I can’t do normal routine things. If I get antsy on a normal day, I’d just take a quick walk.
2) How did you stay busy and refocus when your mind just wants to think about how shitty/boring the next 3 weeks will be?
I usually love binging shows, playing video games, and generally doing self directed activities around the house (journalling writing), but for whatever reason I don’t want to do those things right now. Maybe it’s some depression, or just a normal “I want to do things I can’t” mentality, who knows. Given it seems autonomy and time appear to be my biggest enemy, I’m contemplating the Iwalk again. I was in good shape before, so I opted for the crutches and a scooter initially. The Iwalk is alot of money though for just 3 weeks (even used). Adding in time to get adjusted to it, I’m not sure if it’s worth it.
3) Those who got the iwalk, is it worth it? Bear in mind I’ll be using it only for these three weeks.
Last question, 4) What are some non medical creature comforts you used to keep busy. I’m not talking the shower stool, pillows, boots, etc. but rather things you used to pamper yourself and help time pass.
Thanks in advance for reading and answering!
submitted by Votesok to AchillesRupture [link] [comments]
I just hit 3-weeks post-op, and I’m about to enter the dreaded 3 week lull where I have no clearly measurable milestones to achieve. I’ve been fortunate enough to avoid any major recovery pit falls so far, so there are positives to reflect on. I transitioned from a splint to a boot, and my sutures are out with no apparent issues. I can shower fully on a stool. I take my foot out of the boot at night and put in a night splint. That said, my recovery protocol seems a bit conservative. I’m NWB for six weeks, before I advance to FWB by week eight. Yes, I realize that everyone’s journey is different, but my calf is a noodle and seeing posts of others walking by this point is kinda discouraging. For me, it was a 6 CM tear, FHL transfer, Haglunds removal, removal of chipped bone and speed bridge will full open surgery. I’m not even sure I could have had a more aggressive protocol even if I wanted to, so I won’t dwell on that.
1) Those of you who had longer NWB protocols, how did you handle the times in between milestones?
Like others, I’ve had some ups and downs mentally. I will say though that except for housework (moving some stuff around and taking care of the yard), I really have done everything I would have done uninjured. I’ve gone to bars, restaurants, stores, met up with friends, teleworked, worked out, and been outside plenty. Despite this, I still occasionally get down because of the loss of autonomy. Making a conscious decision to pee when I wake up at 8:30 AM instead of 7:30 AM when I have to go because it’s a hassle to get up, sucks. It’s hard to focus on the fact I’m doing social activities when I can’t do normal routine things. If I get antsy on a normal day, I’d just take a quick walk.
2) How did you stay busy and refocus when your mind just wants to think about how shitty/boring the next 3 weeks will be?
I usually love binging shows, playing video games, and generally doing self directed activities around the house (journalling writing), but for whatever reason I don’t want to do those things right now. Maybe it’s some depression, or just a normal “I want to do things I can’t” mentality, who knows. Given it seems autonomy and time appear to be my biggest enemy, I’m contemplating the Iwalk again. I was in good shape before, so I opted for the crutches and a scooter initially. The Iwalk is alot of money though for just 3 weeks (even used). Adding in time to get adjusted to it, I’m not sure if it’s worth it.
3) Those who got the iwalk, is it worth it? Bear in mind I’ll be using it only for these three weeks.
Last question, 4) What are some non medical creature comforts you used to keep busy. I’m not talking the shower stool, pillows, boots, etc. but rather things you used to pamper yourself and help time pass.
Thanks in advance for reading and answering!
2024.05.16 19:14 Original-One-6954 Does this sound like ADD or anxiety/avoidance?
I do have a diagnosis of ADD, Auditory processing disorder, & seasonal depression. I am currently on Wellbutrin and Adderall.. Apologies in advance for spilling all of my concerns out and making this post so long..
I get very over stimulated by people and require a lot of alone time. If I can go to work and come right home, lay in bed and be left mostly alone, I am okay for the most part. This is a life I can manage. Any disruptions to my routine or last minute plans that I didn’t have time to mentally prepare for are usually stressful and draining. I need to know who is going to be there, how many people, how long will I be there, what do I wear, do I bring anything, is my phone charged, etc. etc. I always like to drive independently so that I can leave whenever I want.
Outside of my family, all of my friends & boyfriend are people I met in college when I was a bit more social.. I have not met and maintained any new friendships in the 5 years since graduation. I usually avoid being around people I am not completely comfortable with and when I do interact with acquaintances I tend to become kind of monotone and my sense of humor disappears but I can’t help it.
I hate confrontation to the point that I will shut down and distance myself from the person entirely. I will think about a confrontation endlessly for days afterward. I do get defensive in the moment it’s happening but I do try to avoid confrontation as a whole. I am always going out of my way not to inconvenience people to the point it’s caused some problems. I definitely go out of my way not to be noticed by strangers. Avoiding confrontation has served me well in certain situations because I have filtered through the people in my life and only kept the genuinely good ones and have a solid friend group. I also am very emotionally aware because I am constantly observing how my behavior makes others feel. However there are circumstances where I cannot avoid it. I am good at maintaining professional and diffusing angry customers at work but I do stress about it and maybe even cry later on.. If I have to talk to my boss one on one, even just to ask her if I can leave 15 minutes early, my heart starts racing, my mouth gets so dry and I feel like I can’t formulate sentences properly. My adrenaline causes my memory of the interaction to be fuzzy. The thought of having to make it through multiple interviews has prevented me from advancing in my career. I also get this way with my doctors too but I don’t know why..
Going back to how I need a schedule to maintain my mental health.. big changes are very hard for me motivation wise and stress wise. I am always thinking about how many steps are involved to achieve the end goal and I get so overwhelmed that I need to stop thinking about it entirely before even starting. I also worry about every potential out come of the change and need to anticipate/prepare for it.. Right now I would like to have a new job and also my boyfriend has been pushing for us to live together. I have been stuck on the stage of browsing for online options and haven’t gotten any further because it’s too much to handle. So.. I have just stayed where I am at for way longer than I should, people around me are progressing in life and i’m not.
Today I found a job online i’m actually interested in but started thinking about making a cover letter and resume and got overwhelmed. Thinking about interviewing put me into a panic so I didn’t apply yet. I spent 3 years working up the courage to go to the dentist, finally went 2 months ago and found out I needed a root canal but still have not scheduled that appointment due to anxiety.. Last week I made an appointment with my PCP for today to discuss anxiety but I pushed it to next week due to anxiety about going. I am worried about not being able to remember and properly say what I want to say… Also my brain bounces back and forth between “you’re fine you don’t need help” and “there is something wrong with you” and who knows which mood i’ll be in on the day of my appointment.. I have always been this way, sometimes I have a good year or something and sometimes I have a bad phase where it’s worse.. I really have a hard time knowing what’s normal/my personality (due to ADD) and if I might actually have a problem with anxiety that could be helped with medication.. I think I need therapy but it’s so expensive and hard to get into around here.
submitted by Original-One-6954 to mentalhealth [link] [comments]
I get very over stimulated by people and require a lot of alone time. If I can go to work and come right home, lay in bed and be left mostly alone, I am okay for the most part. This is a life I can manage. Any disruptions to my routine or last minute plans that I didn’t have time to mentally prepare for are usually stressful and draining. I need to know who is going to be there, how many people, how long will I be there, what do I wear, do I bring anything, is my phone charged, etc. etc. I always like to drive independently so that I can leave whenever I want.
Outside of my family, all of my friends & boyfriend are people I met in college when I was a bit more social.. I have not met and maintained any new friendships in the 5 years since graduation. I usually avoid being around people I am not completely comfortable with and when I do interact with acquaintances I tend to become kind of monotone and my sense of humor disappears but I can’t help it.
I hate confrontation to the point that I will shut down and distance myself from the person entirely. I will think about a confrontation endlessly for days afterward. I do get defensive in the moment it’s happening but I do try to avoid confrontation as a whole. I am always going out of my way not to inconvenience people to the point it’s caused some problems. I definitely go out of my way not to be noticed by strangers. Avoiding confrontation has served me well in certain situations because I have filtered through the people in my life and only kept the genuinely good ones and have a solid friend group. I also am very emotionally aware because I am constantly observing how my behavior makes others feel. However there are circumstances where I cannot avoid it. I am good at maintaining professional and diffusing angry customers at work but I do stress about it and maybe even cry later on.. If I have to talk to my boss one on one, even just to ask her if I can leave 15 minutes early, my heart starts racing, my mouth gets so dry and I feel like I can’t formulate sentences properly. My adrenaline causes my memory of the interaction to be fuzzy. The thought of having to make it through multiple interviews has prevented me from advancing in my career. I also get this way with my doctors too but I don’t know why..
Going back to how I need a schedule to maintain my mental health.. big changes are very hard for me motivation wise and stress wise. I am always thinking about how many steps are involved to achieve the end goal and I get so overwhelmed that I need to stop thinking about it entirely before even starting. I also worry about every potential out come of the change and need to anticipate/prepare for it.. Right now I would like to have a new job and also my boyfriend has been pushing for us to live together. I have been stuck on the stage of browsing for online options and haven’t gotten any further because it’s too much to handle. So.. I have just stayed where I am at for way longer than I should, people around me are progressing in life and i’m not.
Today I found a job online i’m actually interested in but started thinking about making a cover letter and resume and got overwhelmed. Thinking about interviewing put me into a panic so I didn’t apply yet. I spent 3 years working up the courage to go to the dentist, finally went 2 months ago and found out I needed a root canal but still have not scheduled that appointment due to anxiety.. Last week I made an appointment with my PCP for today to discuss anxiety but I pushed it to next week due to anxiety about going. I am worried about not being able to remember and properly say what I want to say… Also my brain bounces back and forth between “you’re fine you don’t need help” and “there is something wrong with you” and who knows which mood i’ll be in on the day of my appointment.. I have always been this way, sometimes I have a good year or something and sometimes I have a bad phase where it’s worse.. I really have a hard time knowing what’s normal/my personality (due to ADD) and if I might actually have a problem with anxiety that could be helped with medication.. I think I need therapy but it’s so expensive and hard to get into around here.
2024.05.16 19:10 howinteresting127 Where I'm At/My Current State of Mind
So, I'm not entirely sure what my goal is with this post. One thing I know for certain is that it will be very long, and probably sort of jumbled and frantic, more stream of consciousness than anything. I guess I just sort of wanted to share some of the important realizations I've had in recent months, and see if: 1. Other people think that they're fair or "correct" realizations, and I'm not becoming, like, delusional or something. 2. Maybe my sharing these perspectives will help or inspire someone else who has struggled in ways similar to me.
So, here's the basic background of things. I've always been a really reserved and quiet person, ever since I was a little kid. Add in being skinny and nerdy for most of my life, and maxing out at a height of 5'9", and I'm not exactly a hot product for the average girl my age (19, turning 20 in a few weeks). In fact, I'd never had a relationship until this past year in college, but I'll get more into that in a minute. Hell, I hadn't had so much as a first kiss until this past year, either.
And, at the beginning of this past school year, being my second year of college (as a commuter student, so socializing is pretty difficult), I began to really get down on myself for having never been in a relationship, never kissed a girl, being a virgin, etc. It started to really take a toll on my mental health, because I believed that there was something intrinsically wrong and unlovable about me. Whereas a lot of young men who struggle socially romantically seem to be directing their sadness, frustration, and anger outward toward the world, especially toward women, I instead found myself directing those feeling toward myself. I was convinced that, on a basic level, there was some vital component to who I am as a person that disqualifies me from being worthy of love or affection. After all, that's what 19 years of evidence suggest, right?
Looking back, I think a large component in this was how I had been struggling, and still struggle to a degree, with my identity as a young man. I'm naturally a pretty progressive person, and I make an effort to be open to the perspectives of other groups and listen to their stories. Unfortunately, as we all know, a lot of people have been harmed by the men in their lives. And I know, I know: if I'm not doing anything wrong myself, then I shouldn't take any of these stories personally.But I guess, given the poor mental state that I was already in, I took it as validation that there was in fact something intrinsically wrong about me, and that thing was being a man. I started to avoid people on the street, especially if they were a woman or presented as feminine. At work, I avoid going anywhere near female customers, out of fear of making them uncomfortable. I'd keep my head down walking from class to class on campus, worried that I might make someone uneasy with my gaze. It wasn't that I thought I was a threat; in fact, I knew that I was not. But I also knew that the people around me didn't know that. In their eyes, maybe they have to assume that I'm a creep or that I'm a dangerous type of man. And it hurt to realize that, and I realize now, like I said, that I took it as validation that there was something intrinsically wrong with me.
Due to that, as well as other factors, such as stress and exhaustion from overworking (I'm a full-time student and work about 30 hours a week, which is a lot for me, might not be for others, I admit), I experienced some of the worst periods of depression I've ever had, since being diagnosed with it and anxiety in 2021. I tried going to therapy. I went to a few sessions, then gradually started missing more and more due to a lack of time, until my therapist cancelled all of our scheduled future sessions. It was on me. I wasn't committed.
I lost my passion for my hobbies and interests, like creative writing, which had previously been an important emotional outlet for me. A lot of nights would be spent lying in bed, listening to a playlist filled with sad music and hugging a pillow, wishing it was someone who loved me in the way that I thought, or hoped, love would work.
At the behest of my friends, to whom I only presented my issues as being a little down about never having been in a relationship, I started messing around with dating apps. At first, I felt good about making some sort of effort to put myself out there. Like I said, I've always been insanely reserved, so doing something like making a dating profile felt like an accomplishment. Of course, nothing much came of it. Over the five or so months that I was on the app, I maxed out at about six likes on my profile, and only matched with two people.
But one of those two people was a girl who went to the same college as me, and we seemed to have a lot of interests in common. And I mean a lot. To the point that it was almost comical. Of course, I realize now that having some hobbies in common isn't enough to form a good relationship with someone, but I realize now that I was just desperate for someone who I could convince myself halfway-tolerated me. She and I started to go out, and after a while, we decided to make things "official." My first kiss. My first relationship. My first girlfriend.
It lasted for only a few months. After a while, something felt off. I wasn't as excited to see her as I had been before. It was hard for us to make time for each other, between my working and her being involved in extracurricular stuff around campus. Car rides and dates began to be filled with longer and more frequent stretches of awkward silence, as I tried to think of something to say or talk about, only to come up empty-handed. As we got to know each other better, I realized that we didn't have as much in common as I first thought. She was a little more conservative, not necessarily in a political sense, but more in terms of "status", if that makes sense. I learned that financial success was very important to her parents, and I could tell that it was important to her, too. She avoided telling her parents that I was an English major, instead opting to tell them that I was getting a degree in computer science, as that was my minor at the time. It seemed to me that the status of a relationship was more important to her than the quality of the relationship (pot calling the kettle black, yes, I realize). For example, there was a dance on campus that she wanted to go to, pretty much just to take pictures of the two of us together so she could show them to friends and family. But as for the dance itself, it was more of the same that had been happening before: awkward silence, short conversations, lots of looking around at anything other than each other.
After a while, I decided that, for both of our sakes, I needed to break things off. I didn't want to waste her time when I knew that my heart wasn't in it anymore. So, at the beginning of April, I drove over to her dorm, and we talked it over in my car for a while. At the end, we hugged one last time, and I haven't seen her since.
I think a key component in the decision I made is the fact that I reconnected with some old friends from high school, who are still local, even though they are going to another university. Over Christmas break, I hung out with them for the first time since the pandemic as, during that time, I ended up having a falling out with them over some dumb high school drama and political differences. To my surprise, they had changed a lot, and had managed to pull themselves out of the incel trajectory that I had seen them beginning to fall down during high school. They were kinder, more accepting people. My surprise was matched only by my pride in them. I had feared and assumed the worst of them, and I couldn't have been happier to be proven wrong. Since then, I've been invited back into their group chats, and I see them in-person with some regularity, when our schedules allow it.
I think having that connection made me feel more comfortable with the idea of being single again, and since the break up, I've been able to rely on them for support, laughs, and just feeling like I have somewhere I belong. Before, I found myself desperate for any kind of connection and fell into a cycle of denying myself that connection because I was convinced that, since it didn't just present itself, I wasn't worthy of it.
And maybe it has something to do with that, but on the drive home from my now-ex's dorm (though I still wonder if I should/could really call her an ex. Sure, we agreed to make things "official", but we still only dated for a few months), I felt my perspective on, well, at the risk of sounding over-dramatic or overly romantic, everything, being to change.
And I guess that's what the title of this post is about. The things I've begun to realize in the time leading up to and following that break-up.
Above all else, I've realized the importance of connection. If I didn't have a stable friend group again, I don't know where I'd be. Probably still in a stale relationship, clinging on and trying to convince myself that I'm not feeling the way that I'm feeling. I have people to talk with again, to confide in when I feel stressed or depressed. I go out and do things again, which I didn't realize I hadn't really done very much since the pandemic.
But I know that for a lot of people who are/were in the position I had been in, finding friends is difficult. If it weren't for my unique circumstances of being reunited with an old, estranged group of friends, I would absolutely be in the same position. I still really struggle with social anxiety, and talking to new people is a huge struggle for me. So, I've also had some realizations that don't have as much to do with the friendship side of things, and I hope that these can be of some use to people who also struggle with social anxiety.
I know that the idea of "working on yourself" is cliche and overused, so I won't frame it exactly like that. In my opinion, saying it like that makes it sound too daunting and tedious, and having been in those dark, dark places myself, I know that it was the last thing I wanted to hear. So, instead, I like to think of it this way. It's more like living in spite of your circumstances. Over the course of this past year, I essentially shut my life down, because I was so convinced that there was no point, because I felt that I knew that I would never be loved or accepted. Now, I feel an urge to go on living for myself, almost in direct spite of the fear that I may be forever alone. It's a fear that I still deal with, and who knows, maybe things will end up that way.
And, I suppose, that leads into my main realization, which is sort of an extension/restatement of the last one, now that I think about it. I now feel the desire to accumulate enough in my life, to reach a point where I am satisfied enough, that I can rest knowing that I will be okay, with or without a relationship. Before, my self-worth was almost entirely attached to my relationship status, and my lack of romantic experience. Now, I realize that a relationship can only come when I don't need it, or at least don't feel that I need it. Being a huge nerd and a writer, I think a lot about quotes from books, shows, movies, and games that have stuck with and there's one from God of War: Ragnarok that comes to mind here (by the way, I actually highly recommend playing or watching a playthrough of God of War 2018 and Ragnarok if you've struggled with masculinity in the same way I have, the music and cutscenes from those games have actually helped to pull me out of some mental spirals about my self-worth and identity as a man). It comes from a scene in which Kratos confronts his younger self, and is trying to decide if he is willing/ready to be a god again:
"Should I lose everything and everyone, will there still be enough left inside so that I do not become you? I do not know. But I have hope."
It's a quote that resonates with me now more than ever (even though it's from a DLC that just came out around Christmas, lol). I know now that I want to get to a place where there is enough left inside me that I know I'll never fall into that dark mental state again.
Something else that I've noticed has happened is the return of my passions for my hobbies and interests, especially for writing. I don't want to sound too arrogant, but I think I've begun to realize an important goal for my writing. If I'm lucky enough, I want to be able to write and release stories that explore masculinity and isolation, and, if I can, I want to create stories that can help guide other young men and boys who have struggled in the way I have and continue to do. I want to create characters who serve as positive male role models, who are emotionally strong, intelligent, and kind. I want to write stories of personal redemption, and show that no one is truly ever too far gone to be able to recover. If my writing could help even just one person who is struggling, then I would consider my career to be a success.
At the risk of being too cheesy, I'd like to end this very long-winded post with another quote, this one from a YouTube channel I recently discovered, and one I would highly recommend to just about anyone: Cinema Therapy. It's from their video about "A Silent Voice", which also happens to be one of my favorite movies, and one of my main inspirations when it comes to the kinds of stories I want to tell.
"Depression doesn't go away, doesn't lift for most people. But there's a capacity to feel again. There's a capacity to feel joy. The cure for so many things is connection. And we may think 'no one want to connect with me.' But we just need to find the right people."
I think the only thing I would add to that is that, in my opinion, the connection can also be with yourself.
submitted by howinteresting127 to infp [link] [comments]
So, here's the basic background of things. I've always been a really reserved and quiet person, ever since I was a little kid. Add in being skinny and nerdy for most of my life, and maxing out at a height of 5'9", and I'm not exactly a hot product for the average girl my age (19, turning 20 in a few weeks). In fact, I'd never had a relationship until this past year in college, but I'll get more into that in a minute. Hell, I hadn't had so much as a first kiss until this past year, either.
And, at the beginning of this past school year, being my second year of college (as a commuter student, so socializing is pretty difficult), I began to really get down on myself for having never been in a relationship, never kissed a girl, being a virgin, etc. It started to really take a toll on my mental health, because I believed that there was something intrinsically wrong and unlovable about me. Whereas a lot of young men who struggle socially romantically seem to be directing their sadness, frustration, and anger outward toward the world, especially toward women, I instead found myself directing those feeling toward myself. I was convinced that, on a basic level, there was some vital component to who I am as a person that disqualifies me from being worthy of love or affection. After all, that's what 19 years of evidence suggest, right?
Looking back, I think a large component in this was how I had been struggling, and still struggle to a degree, with my identity as a young man. I'm naturally a pretty progressive person, and I make an effort to be open to the perspectives of other groups and listen to their stories. Unfortunately, as we all know, a lot of people have been harmed by the men in their lives. And I know, I know: if I'm not doing anything wrong myself, then I shouldn't take any of these stories personally.But I guess, given the poor mental state that I was already in, I took it as validation that there was in fact something intrinsically wrong about me, and that thing was being a man. I started to avoid people on the street, especially if they were a woman or presented as feminine. At work, I avoid going anywhere near female customers, out of fear of making them uncomfortable. I'd keep my head down walking from class to class on campus, worried that I might make someone uneasy with my gaze. It wasn't that I thought I was a threat; in fact, I knew that I was not. But I also knew that the people around me didn't know that. In their eyes, maybe they have to assume that I'm a creep or that I'm a dangerous type of man. And it hurt to realize that, and I realize now, like I said, that I took it as validation that there was something intrinsically wrong with me.
Due to that, as well as other factors, such as stress and exhaustion from overworking (I'm a full-time student and work about 30 hours a week, which is a lot for me, might not be for others, I admit), I experienced some of the worst periods of depression I've ever had, since being diagnosed with it and anxiety in 2021. I tried going to therapy. I went to a few sessions, then gradually started missing more and more due to a lack of time, until my therapist cancelled all of our scheduled future sessions. It was on me. I wasn't committed.
I lost my passion for my hobbies and interests, like creative writing, which had previously been an important emotional outlet for me. A lot of nights would be spent lying in bed, listening to a playlist filled with sad music and hugging a pillow, wishing it was someone who loved me in the way that I thought, or hoped, love would work.
At the behest of my friends, to whom I only presented my issues as being a little down about never having been in a relationship, I started messing around with dating apps. At first, I felt good about making some sort of effort to put myself out there. Like I said, I've always been insanely reserved, so doing something like making a dating profile felt like an accomplishment. Of course, nothing much came of it. Over the five or so months that I was on the app, I maxed out at about six likes on my profile, and only matched with two people.
But one of those two people was a girl who went to the same college as me, and we seemed to have a lot of interests in common. And I mean a lot. To the point that it was almost comical. Of course, I realize now that having some hobbies in common isn't enough to form a good relationship with someone, but I realize now that I was just desperate for someone who I could convince myself halfway-tolerated me. She and I started to go out, and after a while, we decided to make things "official." My first kiss. My first relationship. My first girlfriend.
It lasted for only a few months. After a while, something felt off. I wasn't as excited to see her as I had been before. It was hard for us to make time for each other, between my working and her being involved in extracurricular stuff around campus. Car rides and dates began to be filled with longer and more frequent stretches of awkward silence, as I tried to think of something to say or talk about, only to come up empty-handed. As we got to know each other better, I realized that we didn't have as much in common as I first thought. She was a little more conservative, not necessarily in a political sense, but more in terms of "status", if that makes sense. I learned that financial success was very important to her parents, and I could tell that it was important to her, too. She avoided telling her parents that I was an English major, instead opting to tell them that I was getting a degree in computer science, as that was my minor at the time. It seemed to me that the status of a relationship was more important to her than the quality of the relationship (pot calling the kettle black, yes, I realize). For example, there was a dance on campus that she wanted to go to, pretty much just to take pictures of the two of us together so she could show them to friends and family. But as for the dance itself, it was more of the same that had been happening before: awkward silence, short conversations, lots of looking around at anything other than each other.
After a while, I decided that, for both of our sakes, I needed to break things off. I didn't want to waste her time when I knew that my heart wasn't in it anymore. So, at the beginning of April, I drove over to her dorm, and we talked it over in my car for a while. At the end, we hugged one last time, and I haven't seen her since.
I think a key component in the decision I made is the fact that I reconnected with some old friends from high school, who are still local, even though they are going to another university. Over Christmas break, I hung out with them for the first time since the pandemic as, during that time, I ended up having a falling out with them over some dumb high school drama and political differences. To my surprise, they had changed a lot, and had managed to pull themselves out of the incel trajectory that I had seen them beginning to fall down during high school. They were kinder, more accepting people. My surprise was matched only by my pride in them. I had feared and assumed the worst of them, and I couldn't have been happier to be proven wrong. Since then, I've been invited back into their group chats, and I see them in-person with some regularity, when our schedules allow it.
I think having that connection made me feel more comfortable with the idea of being single again, and since the break up, I've been able to rely on them for support, laughs, and just feeling like I have somewhere I belong. Before, I found myself desperate for any kind of connection and fell into a cycle of denying myself that connection because I was convinced that, since it didn't just present itself, I wasn't worthy of it.
And maybe it has something to do with that, but on the drive home from my now-ex's dorm (though I still wonder if I should/could really call her an ex. Sure, we agreed to make things "official", but we still only dated for a few months), I felt my perspective on, well, at the risk of sounding over-dramatic or overly romantic, everything, being to change.
And I guess that's what the title of this post is about. The things I've begun to realize in the time leading up to and following that break-up.
Above all else, I've realized the importance of connection. If I didn't have a stable friend group again, I don't know where I'd be. Probably still in a stale relationship, clinging on and trying to convince myself that I'm not feeling the way that I'm feeling. I have people to talk with again, to confide in when I feel stressed or depressed. I go out and do things again, which I didn't realize I hadn't really done very much since the pandemic.
But I know that for a lot of people who are/were in the position I had been in, finding friends is difficult. If it weren't for my unique circumstances of being reunited with an old, estranged group of friends, I would absolutely be in the same position. I still really struggle with social anxiety, and talking to new people is a huge struggle for me. So, I've also had some realizations that don't have as much to do with the friendship side of things, and I hope that these can be of some use to people who also struggle with social anxiety.
I know that the idea of "working on yourself" is cliche and overused, so I won't frame it exactly like that. In my opinion, saying it like that makes it sound too daunting and tedious, and having been in those dark, dark places myself, I know that it was the last thing I wanted to hear. So, instead, I like to think of it this way. It's more like living in spite of your circumstances. Over the course of this past year, I essentially shut my life down, because I was so convinced that there was no point, because I felt that I knew that I would never be loved or accepted. Now, I feel an urge to go on living for myself, almost in direct spite of the fear that I may be forever alone. It's a fear that I still deal with, and who knows, maybe things will end up that way.
And, I suppose, that leads into my main realization, which is sort of an extension/restatement of the last one, now that I think about it. I now feel the desire to accumulate enough in my life, to reach a point where I am satisfied enough, that I can rest knowing that I will be okay, with or without a relationship. Before, my self-worth was almost entirely attached to my relationship status, and my lack of romantic experience. Now, I realize that a relationship can only come when I don't need it, or at least don't feel that I need it. Being a huge nerd and a writer, I think a lot about quotes from books, shows, movies, and games that have stuck with and there's one from God of War: Ragnarok that comes to mind here (by the way, I actually highly recommend playing or watching a playthrough of God of War 2018 and Ragnarok if you've struggled with masculinity in the same way I have, the music and cutscenes from those games have actually helped to pull me out of some mental spirals about my self-worth and identity as a man). It comes from a scene in which Kratos confronts his younger self, and is trying to decide if he is willing/ready to be a god again:
"Should I lose everything and everyone, will there still be enough left inside so that I do not become you? I do not know. But I have hope."
It's a quote that resonates with me now more than ever (even though it's from a DLC that just came out around Christmas, lol). I know now that I want to get to a place where there is enough left inside me that I know I'll never fall into that dark mental state again.
Something else that I've noticed has happened is the return of my passions for my hobbies and interests, especially for writing. I don't want to sound too arrogant, but I think I've begun to realize an important goal for my writing. If I'm lucky enough, I want to be able to write and release stories that explore masculinity and isolation, and, if I can, I want to create stories that can help guide other young men and boys who have struggled in the way I have and continue to do. I want to create characters who serve as positive male role models, who are emotionally strong, intelligent, and kind. I want to write stories of personal redemption, and show that no one is truly ever too far gone to be able to recover. If my writing could help even just one person who is struggling, then I would consider my career to be a success.
At the risk of being too cheesy, I'd like to end this very long-winded post with another quote, this one from a YouTube channel I recently discovered, and one I would highly recommend to just about anyone: Cinema Therapy. It's from their video about "A Silent Voice", which also happens to be one of my favorite movies, and one of my main inspirations when it comes to the kinds of stories I want to tell.
"Depression doesn't go away, doesn't lift for most people. But there's a capacity to feel again. There's a capacity to feel joy. The cure for so many things is connection. And we may think 'no one want to connect with me.' But we just need to find the right people."
I think the only thing I would add to that is that, in my opinion, the connection can also be with yourself.
2024.05.16 18:58 Ashamed_Neat6249 a cry for help
i'm not one for social media, but i've created this account because i need help.
long story short: i (18M) struggled with porn addiction and masturbating for 11 years. what do i do to be clean?
at the age of 8, i was exposed to hardcore porn. at first i wasn't turned on by it, it actually disgusted me, but it still made me very curious about sex. i continued to look at pornography or at least sensual pictures until i discovered what masturbating was when i was 10-11.
masturbating was exciting when i first figured it out, and i didn't need pornography to ejaculate. it was only after i had discovered it was easier to get it up when watching porn did i do both at the same time.
in middle school, i was exposed to mature anime and hentai, which only made my addiction worse. my dad caught me and grounded me, which helped me stay clean for a little bit. to avoid getting caught again though, i resorted to watching soft-core porn. i continued this until high school.
the pandemic hit near the end of my freshman year (march 2023). a friend of mine became my girlfriend later that year. we would sext on a daily, and this went on for about 4 months. it was a very toxic relationship, we only used each other for sex and emotionally broke each other. my dad caught me again after awhile, and it was worse than last time.
being raised in a religious household, pornography and masturbation are things that are really looked down upon. i understand, they are horrible, disgusting things to do. i just find it hard to quit.
back to the story, my dad grounded me the entire summer, which i remained clean because i was depressed from having to break up with my girlfriend and didn't even have the energy to get out of bed. i was clean for maybe 6-8 months, but i relapsed and have suffered since then.
i was recently in a very good relationship in my opinion. me and my girlfriend helped each other, and i trusted her enough to let her in on all of my addictions. she said she had dealt with the same addictions in the past for 3 years, but she had been clean for awhile. we didn't do anything sexual for months. we had a secret relationship because of our religion, and the way they look down upon young people dating who aren't ready to get married. we then started to sext in month 8 of our relationship. this was on and off though, only happening when one of us were out of town or were especially horny that night. we started to have sex around the same time, and did it constantly until january, when our relationship ended.
i have major trust issues because my parents have lied, manipulated me, and controlled me my entire life, but they are narcissists who are never wrong. i only trust my ex, but now we don't talk.
i'm going to turn 19 soon. i've been struggling with this addiction for over 11 years. i've tried to go cold turkey, deleting all of my apps that give me triggers, i've started to journal daily, started working out, but nothing is working. i relapsed right before writing this, and now i feel like a failure. this has all left me hopeless, with low self esteem, self harm, depression, and anxiety. this is a cry for help. i don't know what to do.
submitted by Ashamed_Neat6249 to PornAddiction [link] [comments]
long story short: i (18M) struggled with porn addiction and masturbating for 11 years. what do i do to be clean?
at the age of 8, i was exposed to hardcore porn. at first i wasn't turned on by it, it actually disgusted me, but it still made me very curious about sex. i continued to look at pornography or at least sensual pictures until i discovered what masturbating was when i was 10-11.
masturbating was exciting when i first figured it out, and i didn't need pornography to ejaculate. it was only after i had discovered it was easier to get it up when watching porn did i do both at the same time.
in middle school, i was exposed to mature anime and hentai, which only made my addiction worse. my dad caught me and grounded me, which helped me stay clean for a little bit. to avoid getting caught again though, i resorted to watching soft-core porn. i continued this until high school.
the pandemic hit near the end of my freshman year (march 2023). a friend of mine became my girlfriend later that year. we would sext on a daily, and this went on for about 4 months. it was a very toxic relationship, we only used each other for sex and emotionally broke each other. my dad caught me again after awhile, and it was worse than last time.
being raised in a religious household, pornography and masturbation are things that are really looked down upon. i understand, they are horrible, disgusting things to do. i just find it hard to quit.
back to the story, my dad grounded me the entire summer, which i remained clean because i was depressed from having to break up with my girlfriend and didn't even have the energy to get out of bed. i was clean for maybe 6-8 months, but i relapsed and have suffered since then.
i was recently in a very good relationship in my opinion. me and my girlfriend helped each other, and i trusted her enough to let her in on all of my addictions. she said she had dealt with the same addictions in the past for 3 years, but she had been clean for awhile. we didn't do anything sexual for months. we had a secret relationship because of our religion, and the way they look down upon young people dating who aren't ready to get married. we then started to sext in month 8 of our relationship. this was on and off though, only happening when one of us were out of town or were especially horny that night. we started to have sex around the same time, and did it constantly until january, when our relationship ended.
i have major trust issues because my parents have lied, manipulated me, and controlled me my entire life, but they are narcissists who are never wrong. i only trust my ex, but now we don't talk.
i'm going to turn 19 soon. i've been struggling with this addiction for over 11 years. i've tried to go cold turkey, deleting all of my apps that give me triggers, i've started to journal daily, started working out, but nothing is working. i relapsed right before writing this, and now i feel like a failure. this has all left me hopeless, with low self esteem, self harm, depression, and anxiety. this is a cry for help. i don't know what to do.
2024.05.16 18:56 Dry-Painting-9730 My friends have abandoned me during one of the hardest and lowest points in my life
I thought I’d share over here, perhaps at least one person will be able to relate? It’s been an incredibly hard few months for me. I am newly diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. And have had major depression disorder and anxiety since a very young age. I just got out of rehab for a weed addiction a few weeks ago (very successfully - I am not on any substances anymore and don’t plan on it again). Since being out, I’ve found it incredibly hard to adjust back into my home environment. Everything was so safe and I was so protected in the clinic. They even decreased my meds because I was doing so well.
Fast forward to coming out and back into my home environment and I’ve never been in a worse place in my life. On top of this, two weeks ago, I found out my friend took his life. When I found this out, I tried to call my one friend, but she ignored my phone call because she was too busy smoking, knowing that I needed the support because I was alone, and one of my conditions were for my friends to please not smoke in front of me. So she didn’t pick up and chose to smoke with my other friend instead of them asking if I maybe wanted to come over for some company to grieve with them. Then, I had asked my very best friend if she would be around for company and support after my friend’s memorial. She said no, it’s too much for her. I will admit that I started lashing out on both of them after those two occasions, which I’m not proud of, but because my friend had just died and no one wanted to be around. At some point I pulled back.
They haven’t spoken to me for two weeks, and don’t plan to. My best friend said “she just wants her old friend back”. Which makes me feel hurt because I’m still here. I am her friend. The same friend I’ve been for years. I’m just not the perfect version of myself that she wants me to be right now. I can’t have people in my life conditionally based on my circumstances. I would do anything for my friends. Especially if they were at their lowest points. I am in such a bad state that my mom is on watch for me in case she has to take me to the hospital to be under observation if I am a danger to myself. And my friends? No where to be seen. Not only have I lost my friend who took his life, but now I’ve lost two of my best friends after the fact as well. And I am alone in my grief. I just feel completely helpless. I’ve had to delete social media because they’re posting petty things to their stories. I’m finding it hard to accept that these friendships may have run their course. Because they’ve been in my life for years. But I just think it’s such a nasty thing to do, especially considering my best friend is a psychology major, who was so supportive of my diagnosis and one of the only people I opened up to about it. And is in her mid 30s, so it’s not like I can even chalk it up to an age thing. Which is such shocking and juvenile behaviour for someone in her position. I am beyond hurt
submitted by Dry-Painting-9730 to BorderlinePDisorder [link] [comments]
Fast forward to coming out and back into my home environment and I’ve never been in a worse place in my life. On top of this, two weeks ago, I found out my friend took his life. When I found this out, I tried to call my one friend, but she ignored my phone call because she was too busy smoking, knowing that I needed the support because I was alone, and one of my conditions were for my friends to please not smoke in front of me. So she didn’t pick up and chose to smoke with my other friend instead of them asking if I maybe wanted to come over for some company to grieve with them. Then, I had asked my very best friend if she would be around for company and support after my friend’s memorial. She said no, it’s too much for her. I will admit that I started lashing out on both of them after those two occasions, which I’m not proud of, but because my friend had just died and no one wanted to be around. At some point I pulled back.
They haven’t spoken to me for two weeks, and don’t plan to. My best friend said “she just wants her old friend back”. Which makes me feel hurt because I’m still here. I am her friend. The same friend I’ve been for years. I’m just not the perfect version of myself that she wants me to be right now. I can’t have people in my life conditionally based on my circumstances. I would do anything for my friends. Especially if they were at their lowest points. I am in such a bad state that my mom is on watch for me in case she has to take me to the hospital to be under observation if I am a danger to myself. And my friends? No where to be seen. Not only have I lost my friend who took his life, but now I’ve lost two of my best friends after the fact as well. And I am alone in my grief. I just feel completely helpless. I’ve had to delete social media because they’re posting petty things to their stories. I’m finding it hard to accept that these friendships may have run their course. Because they’ve been in my life for years. But I just think it’s such a nasty thing to do, especially considering my best friend is a psychology major, who was so supportive of my diagnosis and one of the only people I opened up to about it. And is in her mid 30s, so it’s not like I can even chalk it up to an age thing. Which is such shocking and juvenile behaviour for someone in her position. I am beyond hurt
2024.05.16 18:45 Ornery-Swordfish-392 Would you treat a patient for ADHD, with a stimulant and sleep aid, who has symptoms more indicative of narcolepsy?
I have been trying to take an mslt/ psg for a year now, but cannot “pass” the psg, by sleeping the required 6 hours- I have horrible insomnia when unmedicated (despite doing 3 months of a CBT-I program, following strict lifestyle changes and sleep hygiene). I definitely think I have narcolepsy, but I am not able to get that diagnosis because I cannot successfully complete the psg overnight sleep study. Since the treatments for narcolepsy and ADHD are similar, I am wondering if I should be more focused on being treated for ADHD. I was on vyvanse for 10 years, which very successfully treated my excessive daytime sleepiness, I have been off of it for over a year now, and also have been off ambien for 6 months (used for 20 years). I have an ADHD diagnosis in MyChart (not a full diagnosis through an evaluation, I was diagnosed as a child, I think I still struggle with it, but do feel like my symptoms are more due to narcolepsy). My previous psychiatrist who prescribed me vyvanse has now retired. I had a spinal injury and have been taking baclofen and have found it quite effective in treating my insomnia, but it is prescribed through my neurosurgeon and he is tapering me off. I’ve had the lumbar puncture to test for narcolepsy, but I do not have low Orexin levels. I feel like sleep doctors won’t help me unless I meet their strict criteria for narcolepsy through the psg/ mslt. I have really tried to get that diagnosis, or at least learn more about my sleep because I do feel like that is at the root of my problems. I’m a high functioning person, but this last year going off my meds I can barely function because I am so tired. I have had depression in the past, but really have so much going for me in my life, and I 100% know I am not depressed (but fighting tiredness everyday is starting to make me depressed). I started seeing my current/ new psychiatrist to help me taper off the vyvanse and ambien, but she is firm that I have a sleep disorder and won’t treat my ADHD. So, I have appointments with two new psychiatrists and I’m just wondering if they may treat my adhd, or if in general they will want the sleep disorder diagnosed first. I know each doctor is different. Just thought I would throw this out there. Maybe I should be presenting my ADHD symptoms as the main concern, I know ADHD can also cause daytime sleepiness, so maybe that is what I’m dealing with. The doctors I have come in contact with seem very against prescribing stimulants. I don’t use drugs or even drink. I always took a very low dose. My PCP has prescribed me Modafinil in the past, but it did nothing for me. I also have a head injury, which made my insomnia and EDS much worse. I’ve also tried bupropion, but it makes my anxiety increase too much. TIA! I know I may seem drug seeking, but contrary to that, I just know what has worked for me in the past.
submitted by Ornery-Swordfish-392 to AskPsychiatry [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 18:43 Dry-Painting-9730 My best friends have abandoned me during one of the hardest points in my life
I thought I’d share over here, perhaps at least one person will be able to relate? It’s been an incredibly hard few months for me. I am newly diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. And have had major depression disorder and anxiety since a very young age. I just got out of rehab for a weed addiction a few weeks ago (very successfully - I am not on any substances anymore and don’t plan on it again). Since being out, I’ve found it incredibly hard to adjust back into my home environment. Everything was so safe and I was so protected in the clinic. They even decreased my meds because I was doing so well.
Fast forward to coming out and back into my home environment and I’ve never been in a worse place in my life. On top of this, two weeks ago, I found out my friend took his life. When I found this out, I tried to call my one friend, but she ignored my phone call because she was too busy smoking, knowing that I needed the support because I was alone, and one of my conditions were for my friends to please not smoke in front of me. So she didn’t pick up and chose to smoke with my other friend instead of them asking if I maybe wanted to come over for some company to grieve with them. Then, I had asked my very best friend if she would be around for company and support after my friend’s memorial. She said no, it’s too much for her. I will admit that I started lashing out on both of them after those two occasions, which I’m not proud of, but because my friend had just died and no one wanted to be around. At some point I pulled back.
They haven’t spoken to me for two weeks, and don’t plan to. My best friend said “she just wants her old friend back”. Which makes me feel hurt because I’m still here. I am her friend. The same friend I’ve been for years. I’m just not the perfect version of myself that she wants me to be right now. I can’t have people in my life conditionally based on my circumstances. I would do anything for my friends. Especially if they were at their lowest points. I am in such a bad state that my mom is on watch for me in case she has to take me to the hospital to be under observation if I am a danger to myself. And my friends? No where to be seen. Not only have I lost my friend who took his life, but now I’ve lost two of my best friends after the fact as well. And I am alone in my grief. I just feel completely helpless. I’ve had to delete social media because they’re posting petty things to their stories. I’m finding it hard to accept that these friendships may have run their course. Because they’ve been in my life for years. But I just think it’s such a nasty thing to do, especially considering my best friend is a psychology major, who was so supportive of my diagnosis and one of the only people I opened up to about it. And is in her mid 30s, so it’s not like I can even chalk it up to an age thing. Which is such shocking and juvenile behaviour for someone in her position. I am beyond hurt.
submitted by Dry-Painting-9730 to mentalhealth [link] [comments]
Fast forward to coming out and back into my home environment and I’ve never been in a worse place in my life. On top of this, two weeks ago, I found out my friend took his life. When I found this out, I tried to call my one friend, but she ignored my phone call because she was too busy smoking, knowing that I needed the support because I was alone, and one of my conditions were for my friends to please not smoke in front of me. So she didn’t pick up and chose to smoke with my other friend instead of them asking if I maybe wanted to come over for some company to grieve with them. Then, I had asked my very best friend if she would be around for company and support after my friend’s memorial. She said no, it’s too much for her. I will admit that I started lashing out on both of them after those two occasions, which I’m not proud of, but because my friend had just died and no one wanted to be around. At some point I pulled back.
They haven’t spoken to me for two weeks, and don’t plan to. My best friend said “she just wants her old friend back”. Which makes me feel hurt because I’m still here. I am her friend. The same friend I’ve been for years. I’m just not the perfect version of myself that she wants me to be right now. I can’t have people in my life conditionally based on my circumstances. I would do anything for my friends. Especially if they were at their lowest points. I am in such a bad state that my mom is on watch for me in case she has to take me to the hospital to be under observation if I am a danger to myself. And my friends? No where to be seen. Not only have I lost my friend who took his life, but now I’ve lost two of my best friends after the fact as well. And I am alone in my grief. I just feel completely helpless. I’ve had to delete social media because they’re posting petty things to their stories. I’m finding it hard to accept that these friendships may have run their course. Because they’ve been in my life for years. But I just think it’s such a nasty thing to do, especially considering my best friend is a psychology major, who was so supportive of my diagnosis and one of the only people I opened up to about it. And is in her mid 30s, so it’s not like I can even chalk it up to an age thing. Which is such shocking and juvenile behaviour for someone in her position. I am beyond hurt.
2024.05.16 18:43 EnterpriseSpaghetti I miss how chaotic my life used to be
From my mid to late teens I was all sorts of fucked up. I was newly diagnosed with BPD, addicted to pills, had an eating disorder, was hooking up with multiple strangers a night, self harming daily, shoplifting a ton, I had just met my first ever FP and was generally just living terribly.
I was of course super miserable during this time, but under the misery it was also fun? Or exciting maybe? There was something that I absolutely loved about living that way and I miss it every single day.
My life looks a lot different now. Now I have a job and a partner that I’ve been with for years. I’m clean from drugs and self harm and my BPD symptoms aren’t very prevalent anymore most times. I haven’t been able to kick the ED though and I will acknowledge that it’s probably adding to my misery a lot.
For years, pretty much since I got clean, I’ve been missing how things used to be so much. I am so bored of life. I’m bored of waking up every day just to go do a job that I hate, come home, eat dinner, go to bed, and do it all again the next day. It’s depressing. At least when I was on drugs I could get high and feel better whenever I wanted. I would give anything to feel like I did when I was 17 again. I had coping strategies that actually worked, even if they were hurting me physically, they made me feel better emotionally. I don’t get to feel good emotionally now.
I also really miss the people who were in my life at the time. I met my first FP about 6 months before I got diagnosed with BPD, and of course, I thought I was in love with him. To make it even better for my attention starved teenage self, he was an older guy who also struggled with sh, suicidal ideation, and drug addiction.
Our disorders fed off each other and even though it wasn’t healthy for either of us he was my best friend in the world for a few years, it felt like whatever I went through he’d always be there and I was there for him. He even knew how hopelessly in love with him I was, and he didn’t mind. He made it clear to me nothing would ever happen because I was a minor and he was an adult, and nothing weird or sexual ever did happen, but even knowing that a fucked up teenage girl like me had a huge crush on him, he was still there for me, he was still my best friend, and he never made me feel bad or embarrassed about any of it.
We don’t talk anymore, and I know I didn’t actually love him it was just infatuation, but he was honestly the best friend I ever had and I think I’ll miss him forever. A part of me even wonders if I want to get back into my old habits just to feel close to him again.
submitted by EnterpriseSpaghetti to BPD [link] [comments]
I was of course super miserable during this time, but under the misery it was also fun? Or exciting maybe? There was something that I absolutely loved about living that way and I miss it every single day.
My life looks a lot different now. Now I have a job and a partner that I’ve been with for years. I’m clean from drugs and self harm and my BPD symptoms aren’t very prevalent anymore most times. I haven’t been able to kick the ED though and I will acknowledge that it’s probably adding to my misery a lot.
For years, pretty much since I got clean, I’ve been missing how things used to be so much. I am so bored of life. I’m bored of waking up every day just to go do a job that I hate, come home, eat dinner, go to bed, and do it all again the next day. It’s depressing. At least when I was on drugs I could get high and feel better whenever I wanted. I would give anything to feel like I did when I was 17 again. I had coping strategies that actually worked, even if they were hurting me physically, they made me feel better emotionally. I don’t get to feel good emotionally now.
I also really miss the people who were in my life at the time. I met my first FP about 6 months before I got diagnosed with BPD, and of course, I thought I was in love with him. To make it even better for my attention starved teenage self, he was an older guy who also struggled with sh, suicidal ideation, and drug addiction.
Our disorders fed off each other and even though it wasn’t healthy for either of us he was my best friend in the world for a few years, it felt like whatever I went through he’d always be there and I was there for him. He even knew how hopelessly in love with him I was, and he didn’t mind. He made it clear to me nothing would ever happen because I was a minor and he was an adult, and nothing weird or sexual ever did happen, but even knowing that a fucked up teenage girl like me had a huge crush on him, he was still there for me, he was still my best friend, and he never made me feel bad or embarrassed about any of it.
We don’t talk anymore, and I know I didn’t actually love him it was just infatuation, but he was honestly the best friend I ever had and I think I’ll miss him forever. A part of me even wonders if I want to get back into my old habits just to feel close to him again.
2024.05.16 18:37 Former-Poetry-4060 Back to High school Weight but…
 | I’m down 45lbs from 212- 167, which is what I weighed in high school and yet my body dysmorphia is scaring me. Here is my story. submitted by Former-Poetry-4060 to Zepbound [link] [comments] I was diagnosed with PCOS (insulin resistant) when I was 27 and was also pre-diabetic, had BED,bipolar disorder and depression. My doctor was afraid that my insullin cells would die out and I would become full blown diabetic like my father. I also suffered from lets say “dark thoughts” about myself because I was constantly hungry and could rarely feel satiated. I would go out to dinner and want an appetizer, entree and dessert and still eat when I got home. I could easily drink many alcoholic beverages in a sitting because my body was used to consuming things rapidly. I was put of control. January 1st of 2024 I completely quit drinking and focused on protein, fiber, and water intake and lost my first twenty pounds easily. I was prescribed Zepbound in February and coupled with my lifestyle changes I’m the thinnest I’ve been since I was a teenager AND I hope my up coming blood work will reflect that I am overall healthier( my insulin, liver enzymes, cholesterol, were not good). *** I am on here to ask if anyone has sought therapy after going on these drugs. -Have people (including therapists)shamed you for being on this drug? My family has and I’m afraid to tell people because they will discredit my efforts and make me feel like a cheater, or a liar -Do you still feel very overweight and or not good enough? I never thought a 45lb weight loss was obtainable for me and yet I am still medically overweight, it is scary -Am I alone here? I have an appointment with my PCP in two weeks and will ask for resources in terms of mental health support but wanted to hear from other Zepbound users. |
2024.05.16 18:36 UpAcreek62 READ this before you accept!
Salut à tous, My goal in this post is to share my raw TAPIF experience from this year now that I’m home and have reflected. I will be listing challenges that I and others faced (I’ll be discussing the cons rather than the pros).
For reference, I’m American and was placed in primary in the Académie d’Orléans-Tours. I had already worked 8-5 in a school the previous year so I came in with a fair amount of savings and work experience working in language schools.
• You might have to act as the sole English teacher of your school(s). This includes creating curriculum sometimes from scratch with little to no guidance. The term “assistant” can be very misleading. At the primary level it is unfortunately common that you will be leading 30+ students per class while the teacher uses this time for a coffee break. Some might think you are an intervenant(e) and not an assistant(e) who takes over the whole classroom even though they have worked with assistants in the past. Even your principals might not know your role (or care). It’s your responsibility to advocate for yourself in order not to be taken advantage of and break the cycle so the next assistant doesn’t have to go through this.
• You might have a housing crisis. I arrived and spent nearly $2000 to stay in an airbnb for a month. I didn’t have a French guarantor and with the low tapif salary it is virtually impossible to find an apt through an agency. They will reject you. I did the online guarantor called “VISALE” and they granted me a max rent of 380€ a month. I applied to live with two French roommates “en coloc” but couldn’t be accepted as the rent was 450€ and VISALE granted me 380. I eventually was so desperate to have a permanent address (for bureaucratic stuff) that I found an apt on leboncoin with an independent landlord who didn’t need me to supply any guarantor. The rent only had water included and was 820€ a month (the entirety of our monthly salary). I had to, without any help, order and install the wifi and tv box and set up an electricity account through EDF. BEWARE if you didn’t know- electricity/heating in France is extremely expensive. I ended up having to keep my heat around 15 C (59 F) in order to not have the bill exceed 100€ per month during the cold months (I.e. the duration of our assistantships). When I moved out 2 weeks ago, the landlord blew up on me saying everything was “dégueulasse” or disgustingly filthy- which surprise it wasn’t- it’s a typical tactic to take money out of your initial deposit (dépôt de garantie), which he plans on doing. You will be vulnerable as a foreigner in this position. I would recommend NOT renting an apt by yourself unless it’s last resort as it was for me.
• The nature of the program can be VERY isolating. As others have emphasized, this is NOT any way similar to a study abroad. No one is keeping tabs on you or making sure you are adjusting well. Depending on your schools and schedule, you might not be able to form close relationships with your colleagues either. You MUST be okay with spending time by yourself in a foreign country. Many people end up leaving at Christmas because of these difficulties, usually citing they have a “family situation” to tend to back at home. I encourage you, if single, to try to befriend or date French nationals, as it will provide extra support and protection to you as a foreigner living in France.
• Mental Health- just to expand on my point above, you will need decent mental health to complete this program. If you are on medication it’s best to see if you can ween off before coming to France as certain meds are hard to find or impossible for doctors to prescribe. For example, adderall, for ADHD, is virtually impossible to have prescribed in Europe.
• Seasonal Depression- Unless you are from the Pacific Northwest in the US, you are more than likely going to experience some seasonal depression as the majority of France becomes very gloomy during the months of the assistantship. If you are from California, Florida, or anywhere in the south or southwest, you will more than likely miss seeing the sun more than once every two weeks. In my region, it wasn’t uncommon for it to rain several times a week with no glimpse of the sun. Of course, if you are placed in the Côte d’Azur or DOM TOMs this will not apply to you.
• Incompetent Prof Refs/Conseillère Pédagogique–your person of contact who will meet with at the beginning of the program may very well be misinformed and useless. I was told by people at my rectorat that I wouldn’t receive my carte vitale (health insurance) as it’s only for French nationals. When I tried to explain that we are all entitled to health insurance with this job they became hostile towards me. Again ADVOCATE for yourself!!! I learned more from the WhatsApp chat and Facebook group than I ever did asking my schools or local rectorat for help. I would have literally NEVER received my carte vitale if I had listened to my “superiors” in this program. They told me incorrect things several times.
Thank you for reading this far! These are some of the realities I and others encountered. I plan on making a list of pros as well if anyone would be interested. (:
submitted by UpAcreek62 to tapif [link] [comments]
For reference, I’m American and was placed in primary in the Académie d’Orléans-Tours. I had already worked 8-5 in a school the previous year so I came in with a fair amount of savings and work experience working in language schools.
• You might have to act as the sole English teacher of your school(s). This includes creating curriculum sometimes from scratch with little to no guidance. The term “assistant” can be very misleading. At the primary level it is unfortunately common that you will be leading 30+ students per class while the teacher uses this time for a coffee break. Some might think you are an intervenant(e) and not an assistant(e) who takes over the whole classroom even though they have worked with assistants in the past. Even your principals might not know your role (or care). It’s your responsibility to advocate for yourself in order not to be taken advantage of and break the cycle so the next assistant doesn’t have to go through this.
• You might have a housing crisis. I arrived and spent nearly $2000 to stay in an airbnb for a month. I didn’t have a French guarantor and with the low tapif salary it is virtually impossible to find an apt through an agency. They will reject you. I did the online guarantor called “VISALE” and they granted me a max rent of 380€ a month. I applied to live with two French roommates “en coloc” but couldn’t be accepted as the rent was 450€ and VISALE granted me 380. I eventually was so desperate to have a permanent address (for bureaucratic stuff) that I found an apt on leboncoin with an independent landlord who didn’t need me to supply any guarantor. The rent only had water included and was 820€ a month (the entirety of our monthly salary). I had to, without any help, order and install the wifi and tv box and set up an electricity account through EDF. BEWARE if you didn’t know- electricity/heating in France is extremely expensive. I ended up having to keep my heat around 15 C (59 F) in order to not have the bill exceed 100€ per month during the cold months (I.e. the duration of our assistantships). When I moved out 2 weeks ago, the landlord blew up on me saying everything was “dégueulasse” or disgustingly filthy- which surprise it wasn’t- it’s a typical tactic to take money out of your initial deposit (dépôt de garantie), which he plans on doing. You will be vulnerable as a foreigner in this position. I would recommend NOT renting an apt by yourself unless it’s last resort as it was for me.
• The nature of the program can be VERY isolating. As others have emphasized, this is NOT any way similar to a study abroad. No one is keeping tabs on you or making sure you are adjusting well. Depending on your schools and schedule, you might not be able to form close relationships with your colleagues either. You MUST be okay with spending time by yourself in a foreign country. Many people end up leaving at Christmas because of these difficulties, usually citing they have a “family situation” to tend to back at home. I encourage you, if single, to try to befriend or date French nationals, as it will provide extra support and protection to you as a foreigner living in France.
• Mental Health- just to expand on my point above, you will need decent mental health to complete this program. If you are on medication it’s best to see if you can ween off before coming to France as certain meds are hard to find or impossible for doctors to prescribe. For example, adderall, for ADHD, is virtually impossible to have prescribed in Europe.
• Seasonal Depression- Unless you are from the Pacific Northwest in the US, you are more than likely going to experience some seasonal depression as the majority of France becomes very gloomy during the months of the assistantship. If you are from California, Florida, or anywhere in the south or southwest, you will more than likely miss seeing the sun more than once every two weeks. In my region, it wasn’t uncommon for it to rain several times a week with no glimpse of the sun. Of course, if you are placed in the Côte d’Azur or DOM TOMs this will not apply to you.
• Incompetent Prof Refs/Conseillère Pédagogique–your person of contact who will meet with at the beginning of the program may very well be misinformed and useless. I was told by people at my rectorat that I wouldn’t receive my carte vitale (health insurance) as it’s only for French nationals. When I tried to explain that we are all entitled to health insurance with this job they became hostile towards me. Again ADVOCATE for yourself!!! I learned more from the WhatsApp chat and Facebook group than I ever did asking my schools or local rectorat for help. I would have literally NEVER received my carte vitale if I had listened to my “superiors” in this program. They told me incorrect things several times.
Thank you for reading this far! These are some of the realities I and others encountered. I plan on making a list of pros as well if anyone would be interested. (:
2024.05.16 18:35 Dry-Painting-9730 My best friends have abandoned me during the hardest time of my life
I thought I’d share over here, perhaps at least one person will be able to relate? It’s been an incredibly hard few months for me. I am newly diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. And have had major depression disorder and anxiety since a very young age. I just got out of rehab for a weed addiction a few weeks ago (very successfully - I am not on any substances anymore and don’t plan on it again). Since being out, I’ve found it incredibly hard to adjust back into my home environment. Everything was so safe and I was so protected in the clinic. They even decreased my meds because I was doing so well.
Fast forward to coming out and back into my home environment and I’ve never been in a worse place in my life. On top of this, two weeks ago, I found out my friend took his life. When I found this out, I tried to call my one friend, but she ignored my phone call because she was too busy smoking, knowing that I needed the support because I was alone, and one of my conditions were for my friends to please not smoke in front of me. So she didn’t pick up and chose to smoke with my other friend instead of them asking if I maybe wanted to come over for some company to grieve with them. Then, I had asked my very best friend if she would be around for company and support after my friend’s memorial. She said no, it’s too much for her. I will admit that I started lashing out on both of them after those two occasions, which I’m not proud of, but because my friend had just died and no one wanted to be around. At some point I pulled back.
They haven’t spoken to me for two weeks, and don’t plan to. My best friend said “she just wants her old friend back”. Which makes me feel hurt because I’m still here. I am her friend. The same friend I’ve been for years. I’m just not the perfect version of myself that she wants me to be right now. I can’t have people in my life conditionally based on my circumstances. I would do anything for my friends. Especially if they were at their lowest points. I am in such a bad state that my mom is on watch for me in case she has to take me to the hospital to be under observation if I am a danger to myself. And my friends? No where to be seen. Not only have I lost my friend who took his life, but now I’ve lost two of my best friends after the fact as well. And I am alone in my grief. I just feel completely helpless. I’ve had to delete social media because they’re posting petty things to their stories. I’m finding it hard to accept that these friendships may have run their course. Because they’ve been in my life for years. But I just think it’s such a nasty thing to do, especially considering my best friend is a psychology major, who was so supportive of my diagnosis and one of the only people I opened up to about it. And is in her mid 30s, so it’s not like I can even chalk it up to an age thing. Which is such shocking and juvenile behaviour for someone in her position. I am beyond hurt
submitted by Dry-Painting-9730 to BPDrecovery [link] [comments]
Fast forward to coming out and back into my home environment and I’ve never been in a worse place in my life. On top of this, two weeks ago, I found out my friend took his life. When I found this out, I tried to call my one friend, but she ignored my phone call because she was too busy smoking, knowing that I needed the support because I was alone, and one of my conditions were for my friends to please not smoke in front of me. So she didn’t pick up and chose to smoke with my other friend instead of them asking if I maybe wanted to come over for some company to grieve with them. Then, I had asked my very best friend if she would be around for company and support after my friend’s memorial. She said no, it’s too much for her. I will admit that I started lashing out on both of them after those two occasions, which I’m not proud of, but because my friend had just died and no one wanted to be around. At some point I pulled back.
They haven’t spoken to me for two weeks, and don’t plan to. My best friend said “she just wants her old friend back”. Which makes me feel hurt because I’m still here. I am her friend. The same friend I’ve been for years. I’m just not the perfect version of myself that she wants me to be right now. I can’t have people in my life conditionally based on my circumstances. I would do anything for my friends. Especially if they were at their lowest points. I am in such a bad state that my mom is on watch for me in case she has to take me to the hospital to be under observation if I am a danger to myself. And my friends? No where to be seen. Not only have I lost my friend who took his life, but now I’ve lost two of my best friends after the fact as well. And I am alone in my grief. I just feel completely helpless. I’ve had to delete social media because they’re posting petty things to their stories. I’m finding it hard to accept that these friendships may have run their course. Because they’ve been in my life for years. But I just think it’s such a nasty thing to do, especially considering my best friend is a psychology major, who was so supportive of my diagnosis and one of the only people I opened up to about it. And is in her mid 30s, so it’s not like I can even chalk it up to an age thing. Which is such shocking and juvenile behaviour for someone in her position. I am beyond hurt
2024.05.16 18:32 Affectionate_Monk_67 My mom blames me for her marriage failing- I need some perspective
I am a 35 year old female and struggle with many issues- major depression, drug addiction(im 2 years sober), ptsd, chronic fatigue, back pain,, I've had 4 surgeries since nov. 2022(open heart surgery, pte lung clot removal surgery which is a gnarly procedure, gallbladder removal, heart vacuum procedure). I'm 9 months post op, except I just had my gallbladder removed 1 month ago. I cannot get put of bed a lot of days. I believe that part of the reason is because I live in a fucked up family living situation.
My stepdad cannot stand the fact that I can't get out of bed. Hes so mad that I'm not working 40 hours a week or going to sober living(my animals can't go and sober living requires you to work go to meetings do chores). So because of this he nit picks me. Every night, when my mom and him go to bed, he intensly complains for 30 minutes to an hour to her about me not getting out of bed. How lazy I am. I'm taking advantage of them. Etc etc. He doesn't believe all the issues I mentioned to you guys that I have struggled with can cause me to lay in bed everyday. He knows that my mom is a light sleeper and has trouble falling asleep. She's told him that when he goes off about stressful things before bed that she wakes up multiple times a night with anxiety ruminating about what he's said.
So my mom blames his behavior on me and says that I'm the problem and if I moved out everything would be fantastic. And she thinks that if I don't move out I'm responsible for the deterioration of their marriage.
I'm desperate for your guys take on this situation. Do I deserve all this? Is it my fault? Is it his fault? Is it both their faults? Everyone's fault?
I feel like the scapegoat and have been for years. I am losing the will to live because I'm not getting support or understanding from the people that are supposed to love me. I've considered going low contact once I figure out a way out of this mess.
submitted by Affectionate_Monk_67 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
My stepdad cannot stand the fact that I can't get out of bed. Hes so mad that I'm not working 40 hours a week or going to sober living(my animals can't go and sober living requires you to work go to meetings do chores). So because of this he nit picks me. Every night, when my mom and him go to bed, he intensly complains for 30 minutes to an hour to her about me not getting out of bed. How lazy I am. I'm taking advantage of them. Etc etc. He doesn't believe all the issues I mentioned to you guys that I have struggled with can cause me to lay in bed everyday. He knows that my mom is a light sleeper and has trouble falling asleep. She's told him that when he goes off about stressful things before bed that she wakes up multiple times a night with anxiety ruminating about what he's said.
So my mom blames his behavior on me and says that I'm the problem and if I moved out everything would be fantastic. And she thinks that if I don't move out I'm responsible for the deterioration of their marriage.
I'm desperate for your guys take on this situation. Do I deserve all this? Is it my fault? Is it his fault? Is it both their faults? Everyone's fault?
I feel like the scapegoat and have been for years. I am losing the will to live because I'm not getting support or understanding from the people that are supposed to love me. I've considered going low contact once I figure out a way out of this mess.
2024.05.16 18:31 yamama44 wellbutrin
hey guys, im currently on 15 mg for raging panic disorder and anxiety. I just recently got Wellbutrin added (150 mg). I have not started taking it yet, but i was really excited about the benefits like depression duh, a smoking aid, adhd help, weight loss, increased libido like it sounds awesome cuz i need help with all those things since lexapro by itself has made me an overweight zombie with 0 sex drive. BUT i stupidly did some searches ab them together and they can cause seizures?? serotonin syndrome?? so now im tweaking out about it. Have any of you guys take both together?? have any of you had good experiences?? has anyone here had serotonin syndrome?? i neeed to know before i throw myself into a panic frenzy and not even try it. please lmk
submitted by yamama44 to lexapro [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 18:09 Regular-Atmosphere11 Seeking advice on my impostor syndrom
Hi!
I hope someone knowledgeable will be able to guide/help me.
I am 22 years old - my problem is that I have been experiencing a strong impostor syndrome from the beginning. I have done the DIVA test three times with different psychologists. Each time I scored high, and basically, everything fits together rationally. I do indeed recognize the impostor symptom in myself. I discussed this with a friend who is finishing psychology studies and also has ADHD, and he supports my perspective.
Additionally, my father, who committed suicide, most likely also struggled with ADHD (based on the DIVA methodology, I asked the family and matched it to events that complicated his life further, plus, of course, chronic depression).Everything was rather stable until 3 days ago when I had bad lack for a psychiatrist (where I did the last DIVA and a specialist was recommended) - an online visit. I don't want to sound conceited (also, I'm not a doctor), but I had the impression that the psychiatrist I consulted often didn't know the answers to my questions and was evasive. He seemed more interested in my money than in helping and understanding me (I have seen 2 psychologists, 2 therapists, and 3 psychiatrists, so I have a comparison whether someone cares or is genuinely interested). I have scheduled my next appointment with a doctor that is leading ADHD treatment here in Poland
Returning to the point, my impostor syndrome flared up additionally when the psychiatrist stated during the interview that "the symptoms I experience are rather mild, or I somehow manage them, otherwise I would have problems with studying and working" (my professional life is okay, but about 4 times below my potential because I have issues with fluctuations in activity - I work intensely for several days, and then have a few days of a depressive period - it's not like manic-depression, it's rather about activity and the ability to motivate myself to do things, not finding less painful activities, etc.). This surprised me because I perceive them differently (and they seem more concrete than just excusing my inefficiencies). So, of course, I continued the previously started research to feel more at ease.
I was prescribed a dosage that seems non-standard: Medikinet 10mg CR daily, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, and I can double it and then report back after finishing.All this has led to many questions and overthinking. The first day, 10mg didn't make much of an impression on me; it settled me a bit, I felt some interest, took the second dose in the afternoon as recommended, and, of course, couldn't sleep (despite 6mg of melatonin).
Yesterday, I took 20mg in the morning and felt the need to organize everything, and I cleaned the whole apartment, including scrubbing under the closet.Despite this, the impostor syndrome is so insidious that I keep wondering if I'm imagining things, over-researched, and adjusted the answers or interpretations of my life and events to fit the thesis.It's generally a terrible issue because I hope that after years of struggling with "depression," it will finally be addressed, and I can stop dealing with such matters and just focus on work - I am 22 years old, and my first visit to a psychiatrist for depression was around 15-16 years old.
Currently, I have the biggest dilemmas in the following areas, and I really hope someone could shed some light or guide me:
This, of course, suggested a possible scenario - a father with ADHD + trauma could have exacerbated my symptoms, hence now they are more noticeable to me than before, although it resonates more with me that conditions, tasks, and challenges I face have changed. I didn't observe myself in this regard before; I didn't have the knowledge; I attributed my failures to a different “legend” (I wasn't taught consequences, laziness, lack of discipline, if I tried harder, etc.) than ADHD. Obviously, I'm not so infantile as to expect someone to try to resolve this issue, but based on the current conclusive knowledge, how do you assess my line of thinking, does it hold together? Could I check anything else additionally?
To conclude, I know I need to find a good psychiatrist; I have one in mind, but it's pointless at this moment when I have prescriptions and "recommendations" to schedule and pay for a visit since I'll probably get not very in-depth answers (I also understand doctors don't have 2 hours to give a lecture on how and why things work), rather reassuring and "we'll observe." Whenever something stresses or confuses me, I just try to understand it, and when it turns out that my inherent skepticism activated unnecessarily, the problem disappears from the radar.
I hope someone will guide me to the right materials that will tell me a bit more about these issues. Once again, thank you in advance for any response and time spent just reading this post. If additional questions arise to provide a better answer, I am happy to respond.
submitted by Regular-Atmosphere11 to irlADHD [link] [comments]
I hope someone knowledgeable will be able to guide/help me.
I am 22 years old - my problem is that I have been experiencing a strong impostor syndrome from the beginning. I have done the DIVA test three times with different psychologists. Each time I scored high, and basically, everything fits together rationally. I do indeed recognize the impostor symptom in myself. I discussed this with a friend who is finishing psychology studies and also has ADHD, and he supports my perspective.
Additionally, my father, who committed suicide, most likely also struggled with ADHD (based on the DIVA methodology, I asked the family and matched it to events that complicated his life further, plus, of course, chronic depression).Everything was rather stable until 3 days ago when I had bad lack for a psychiatrist (where I did the last DIVA and a specialist was recommended) - an online visit. I don't want to sound conceited (also, I'm not a doctor), but I had the impression that the psychiatrist I consulted often didn't know the answers to my questions and was evasive. He seemed more interested in my money than in helping and understanding me (I have seen 2 psychologists, 2 therapists, and 3 psychiatrists, so I have a comparison whether someone cares or is genuinely interested). I have scheduled my next appointment with a doctor that is leading ADHD treatment here in Poland
Returning to the point, my impostor syndrome flared up additionally when the psychiatrist stated during the interview that "the symptoms I experience are rather mild, or I somehow manage them, otherwise I would have problems with studying and working" (my professional life is okay, but about 4 times below my potential because I have issues with fluctuations in activity - I work intensely for several days, and then have a few days of a depressive period - it's not like manic-depression, it's rather about activity and the ability to motivate myself to do things, not finding less painful activities, etc.). This surprised me because I perceive them differently (and they seem more concrete than just excusing my inefficiencies). So, of course, I continued the previously started research to feel more at ease.
I was prescribed a dosage that seems non-standard: Medikinet 10mg CR daily, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, and I can double it and then report back after finishing.All this has led to many questions and overthinking. The first day, 10mg didn't make much of an impression on me; it settled me a bit, I felt some interest, took the second dose in the afternoon as recommended, and, of course, couldn't sleep (despite 6mg of melatonin).
Yesterday, I took 20mg in the morning and felt the need to organize everything, and I cleaned the whole apartment, including scrubbing under the closet.Despite this, the impostor syndrome is so insidious that I keep wondering if I'm imagining things, over-researched, and adjusted the answers or interpretations of my life and events to fit the thesis.It's generally a terrible issue because I hope that after years of struggling with "depression," it will finally be addressed, and I can stop dealing with such matters and just focus on work - I am 22 years old, and my first visit to a psychiatrist for depression was around 15-16 years old.
Currently, I have the biggest dilemmas in the following areas, and I really hope someone could shed some light or guide me:
- **Methylphenidate in a person without ADHD** - I couldn't find anything concrete on whether I can verify this - if, for example, I don't have ADHD, how should it affect me vs. someone with ADHD. It's so vaguely described on the internet that it's not clear if there's a concrete way to verify this to avoid questioning my own observations. Obviously, a solid diagnosis like a blood test or MRI for other diseases won't be available, but by nature, I'm a skeptic and need it grounded to sleep peacefully and not get into unnecessary discussions with people who barely understand the subject.
- **Effectiveness of diagnostics** - I haven't encountered any data on how often diagnoses are invalidated. I read on Reddit (unfortunately, there are few better discussion places with a lot of content) that one girl had an ADHD diagnosis, took Adderall, and after about 2 years, it turned out it wasn't ADHD but some compulsive disorder. Is there any information on how many people with an ADHD diagnosis and prescribed treatment are misdiagnosed? It's known that in the USA, people sometimes stretch the truth to get Adderall, but I'm sure you understand my point and the essence of the matter.
- **Dosage** - I have a bit of time left before my next appointment and wonder what I can do (but nothing stupid). My friend, for example, has 30mg CR in the morning and then has those on-demand Medikinet, which keeps him okay later in the day and doesn't cause sleep problems; he's considering switching to Concerta. From my psychiatrist, I basically got the information I already mentioned plus to avoid abusing alcohol. Is there anything I can change in these recommendations to not waste time? If I just take 30mg or 40mg in the morning (of course, gradually and checking the response weekly), am I exposing myself to any problems? I found out on my own that I won't die, but I'm interested in the effectiveness of this treatment, not messing around.
- **A question completely omitted by the psychiatrist, and I didn't get any specific information, which is quite important to me**. In all the DIVA tests, I scored higher in adulthood than in childhood. In the last one, it came out as follows: Summary of symptoms according to DSM-5: I. Attention Deficit: Adulthood: 8/9, Childhood: 7/9 II. Hyperactivity and impulsivity: Adulthood: 9/9, Childhood: 8/9 III. Experienced symptoms are a source of significant problems, manifesting in at least 2 areas of life in both childhood and adulthood. After my own analysis, talking to my mom and sister, it's hard to deny that I had serious problems in areas affected by ADHD plus many “less obvious” symptoms that I learned about from PsychiatraPlus from Mr. Jóźwiak (thanks God he records because books and articles in Poland on the internet are often a disaster) in quite significant intensity. I'm still afraid of cognitive bias and fitting the situation to the thesis.
This, of course, suggested a possible scenario - a father with ADHD + trauma could have exacerbated my symptoms, hence now they are more noticeable to me than before, although it resonates more with me that conditions, tasks, and challenges I face have changed. I didn't observe myself in this regard before; I didn't have the knowledge; I attributed my failures to a different “legend” (I wasn't taught consequences, laziness, lack of discipline, if I tried harder, etc.) than ADHD. Obviously, I'm not so infantile as to expect someone to try to resolve this issue, but based on the current conclusive knowledge, how do you assess my line of thinking, does it hold together? Could I check anything else additionally?
To conclude, I know I need to find a good psychiatrist; I have one in mind, but it's pointless at this moment when I have prescriptions and "recommendations" to schedule and pay for a visit since I'll probably get not very in-depth answers (I also understand doctors don't have 2 hours to give a lecture on how and why things work), rather reassuring and "we'll observe." Whenever something stresses or confuses me, I just try to understand it, and when it turns out that my inherent skepticism activated unnecessarily, the problem disappears from the radar.
I hope someone will guide me to the right materials that will tell me a bit more about these issues. Once again, thank you in advance for any response and time spent just reading this post. If additional questions arise to provide a better answer, I am happy to respond.
2024.05.16 18:07 Regular-Atmosphere11 Seeking advice on my impostor syndrome
Hi!
I hope someone knowledgeable will be able to guide/help me.
I am 22 years old - my problem is that I have been experiencing a strong impostor syndrome from the beginning. I have done the DIVA test three times with different psychologists. Each time I scored high, and basically, everything fits together rationally. I do indeed recognize the impostor symptom in myself. I discussed this with a friend who is finishing psychology studies and also has ADHD, and he supports my perspective.
Additionally, my father, who committed suicide, most likely also struggled with ADHD (based on the DIVA methodology, I asked the family and matched it to events that complicated his life further, plus, of course, chronic depression).Everything was rather stable until 3 days ago when I had bad lack for a psychiatrist (where I did the last DIVA and a specialist was recommended) - an online visit. I don't want to sound conceited (also, I'm not a doctor), but I had the impression that the psychiatrist I consulted often didn't know the answers to my questions and was evasive. He seemed more interested in my money than in helping and understanding me (I have seen 2 psychologists, 2 therapists, and 3 psychiatrists, so I have a comparison whether someone cares or is genuinely interested). I have scheduled my next appointment with a doctor that is leading ADHD treatment here in Poland
Returning to the point, my impostor syndrome flared up additionally when the psychiatrist stated during the interview that "the symptoms I experience are rather mild, or I somehow manage them, otherwise I would have problems with studying and working" (my professional life is okay, but about 4 times below my potential because I have issues with fluctuations in activity - I work intensely for several days, and then have a few days of a depressive period - it's not like manic-depression, it's rather about activity and the ability to motivate myself to do things, not finding less painful activities, etc.). This surprised me because I perceive them differently (and they seem more concrete than just excusing my inefficiencies). So, of course, I continued the previously started research to feel more at ease.
I was prescribed a dosage that seems non-standard: Medikinet 10mg CR daily, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, and I can double it and then report back after finishing.All this has led to many questions and overthinking. The first day, 10mg didn't make much of an impression on me; it settled me a bit, I felt some interest, took the second dose in the afternoon as recommended, and, of course, couldn't sleep (despite 6mg of melatonin).
Yesterday, I took 20mg in the morning and felt the need to organize everything, and I cleaned the whole apartment, including scrubbing under the closet.Despite this, the impostor syndrome is so insidious that I keep wondering if I'm imagining things, over-researched, and adjusted the answers or interpretations of my life and events to fit the thesis.It's generally a terrible issue because I hope that after years of struggling with "depression," it will finally be addressed, and I can stop dealing with such matters and just focus on work - I am 22 years old, and my first visit to a psychiatrist for depression was around 15-16 years old.
Currently, I have the biggest dilemmas in the following areas, and I really hope someone could shed some light or guide me:
This, of course, suggested a possible scenario - a father with ADHD + trauma could have exacerbated my symptoms, hence now they are more noticeable to me than before, although it resonates more with me that conditions, tasks, and challenges I face have changed. I didn't observe myself in this regard before; I didn't have the knowledge; I attributed my failures to a different “legend” (I wasn't taught consequences, laziness, lack of discipline, if I tried harder, etc.) than ADHD. Obviously, I'm not so infantile as to expect someone to try to resolve this issue, but based on the current conclusive knowledge, how do you assess my line of thinking, does it hold together? Could I check anything else additionally?
To conclude, I know I need to find a good psychiatrist; I have one in mind, but it's pointless at this moment when I have prescriptions and "recommendations" to schedule and pay for a visit since I'll probably get not very in-depth answers (I also understand doctors don't have 2 hours to give a lecture on how and why things work), rather reassuring and "we'll observe." Whenever something stresses or confuses me, I just try to understand it, and when it turns out that my inherent skepticism activated unnecessarily, the problem disappears from the radar.
I hope someone will guide me to the right materials that will tell me a bit more about these issues. Once again, thank you in advance for any response and time spent just reading this post. If additional questions arise to provide a better answer, I am happy to respond.
submitted by Regular-Atmosphere11 to ADHDUK [link] [comments]
I hope someone knowledgeable will be able to guide/help me.
I am 22 years old - my problem is that I have been experiencing a strong impostor syndrome from the beginning. I have done the DIVA test three times with different psychologists. Each time I scored high, and basically, everything fits together rationally. I do indeed recognize the impostor symptom in myself. I discussed this with a friend who is finishing psychology studies and also has ADHD, and he supports my perspective.
Additionally, my father, who committed suicide, most likely also struggled with ADHD (based on the DIVA methodology, I asked the family and matched it to events that complicated his life further, plus, of course, chronic depression).Everything was rather stable until 3 days ago when I had bad lack for a psychiatrist (where I did the last DIVA and a specialist was recommended) - an online visit. I don't want to sound conceited (also, I'm not a doctor), but I had the impression that the psychiatrist I consulted often didn't know the answers to my questions and was evasive. He seemed more interested in my money than in helping and understanding me (I have seen 2 psychologists, 2 therapists, and 3 psychiatrists, so I have a comparison whether someone cares or is genuinely interested). I have scheduled my next appointment with a doctor that is leading ADHD treatment here in Poland
Returning to the point, my impostor syndrome flared up additionally when the psychiatrist stated during the interview that "the symptoms I experience are rather mild, or I somehow manage them, otherwise I would have problems with studying and working" (my professional life is okay, but about 4 times below my potential because I have issues with fluctuations in activity - I work intensely for several days, and then have a few days of a depressive period - it's not like manic-depression, it's rather about activity and the ability to motivate myself to do things, not finding less painful activities, etc.). This surprised me because I perceive them differently (and they seem more concrete than just excusing my inefficiencies). So, of course, I continued the previously started research to feel more at ease.
I was prescribed a dosage that seems non-standard: Medikinet 10mg CR daily, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, and I can double it and then report back after finishing.All this has led to many questions and overthinking. The first day, 10mg didn't make much of an impression on me; it settled me a bit, I felt some interest, took the second dose in the afternoon as recommended, and, of course, couldn't sleep (despite 6mg of melatonin).
Yesterday, I took 20mg in the morning and felt the need to organize everything, and I cleaned the whole apartment, including scrubbing under the closet.Despite this, the impostor syndrome is so insidious that I keep wondering if I'm imagining things, over-researched, and adjusted the answers or interpretations of my life and events to fit the thesis.It's generally a terrible issue because I hope that after years of struggling with "depression," it will finally be addressed, and I can stop dealing with such matters and just focus on work - I am 22 years old, and my first visit to a psychiatrist for depression was around 15-16 years old.
Currently, I have the biggest dilemmas in the following areas, and I really hope someone could shed some light or guide me:
- **Methylphenidate in a person without ADHD** - I couldn't find anything concrete on whether I can verify this - if, for example, I don't have ADHD, how should it affect me vs. someone with ADHD. It's so vaguely described on the internet that it's not clear if there's a concrete way to verify this to avoid questioning my own observations. Obviously, a solid diagnosis like a blood test or MRI for other diseases won't be available, but by nature, I'm a skeptic and need it grounded to sleep peacefully and not get into unnecessary discussions with people who barely understand the subject.
- **Effectiveness of diagnostics** - I haven't encountered any data on how often diagnoses are invalidated. I read on Reddit (unfortunately, there are few better discussion places with a lot of content) that one girl had an ADHD diagnosis, took Adderall, and after about 2 years, it turned out it wasn't ADHD but some compulsive disorder. Is there any information on how many people with an ADHD diagnosis and prescribed treatment are misdiagnosed? It's known that in the USA, people sometimes stretch the truth to get Adderall, but I'm sure you understand my point and the essence of the matter.
- **Dosage** - I have a bit of time left before my next appointment and wonder what I can do (but nothing stupid). My friend, for example, has 30mg CR in the morning and then has those on-demand Medikinet, which keeps him okay later in the day and doesn't cause sleep problems; he's considering switching to Concerta. From my psychiatrist, I basically got the information I already mentioned plus to avoid abusing alcohol. Is there anything I can change in these recommendations to not waste time? If I just take 30mg or 40mg in the morning (of course, gradually and checking the response weekly), am I exposing myself to any problems? I found out on my own that I won't die, but I'm interested in the effectiveness of this treatment, not messing around.
- **A question completely omitted by the psychiatrist, and I didn't get any specific information, which is quite important to me**. In all the DIVA tests, I scored higher in adulthood than in childhood. In the last one, it came out as follows: Summary of symptoms according to DSM-5: I. Attention Deficit: Adulthood: 8/9, Childhood: 7/9 II. Hyperactivity and impulsivity: Adulthood: 9/9, Childhood: 8/9 III. Experienced symptoms are a source of significant problems, manifesting in at least 2 areas of life in both childhood and adulthood. After my own analysis, talking to my mom and sister, it's hard to deny that I had serious problems in areas affected by ADHD plus many “less obvious” symptoms that I learned about from PsychiatraPlus from Mr. Jóźwiak (thanks God he records because books and articles in Poland on the internet are often a disaster) in quite significant intensity. I'm still afraid of cognitive bias and fitting the situation to the thesis.
This, of course, suggested a possible scenario - a father with ADHD + trauma could have exacerbated my symptoms, hence now they are more noticeable to me than before, although it resonates more with me that conditions, tasks, and challenges I face have changed. I didn't observe myself in this regard before; I didn't have the knowledge; I attributed my failures to a different “legend” (I wasn't taught consequences, laziness, lack of discipline, if I tried harder, etc.) than ADHD. Obviously, I'm not so infantile as to expect someone to try to resolve this issue, but based on the current conclusive knowledge, how do you assess my line of thinking, does it hold together? Could I check anything else additionally?
To conclude, I know I need to find a good psychiatrist; I have one in mind, but it's pointless at this moment when I have prescriptions and "recommendations" to schedule and pay for a visit since I'll probably get not very in-depth answers (I also understand doctors don't have 2 hours to give a lecture on how and why things work), rather reassuring and "we'll observe." Whenever something stresses or confuses me, I just try to understand it, and when it turns out that my inherent skepticism activated unnecessarily, the problem disappears from the radar.
I hope someone will guide me to the right materials that will tell me a bit more about these issues. Once again, thank you in advance for any response and time spent just reading this post. If additional questions arise to provide a better answer, I am happy to respond.
2024.05.16 18:07 Regular-Atmosphere11 Seeking advice on my impostor syndrome
Hi!
I hope someone knowledgeable will be able to guide/help me.
I am 22 years old - my problem is that I have been experiencing a strong impostor syndrome from the beginning. I have done the DIVA test three times with different psychologists. Each time I scored high, and basically, everything fits together rationally. I do indeed recognize the impostor symptom in myself. I discussed this with a friend who is finishing psychology studies and also has ADHD, and he supports my perspective.
Additionally, my father, who committed suicide, most likely also struggled with ADHD (based on the DIVA methodology, I asked the family and matched it to events that complicated his life further, plus, of course, chronic depression).Everything was rather stable until 3 days ago when I had bad lack for a psychiatrist (where I did the last DIVA and a specialist was recommended) - an online visit. I don't want to sound conceited (also, I'm not a doctor), but I had the impression that the psychiatrist I consulted often didn't know the answers to my questions and was evasive. He seemed more interested in my money than in helping and understanding me (I have seen 2 psychologists, 2 therapists, and 3 psychiatrists, so I have a comparison whether someone cares or is genuinely interested). I have scheduled my next appointment with a doctor that is leading ADHD treatment here in Poland
Returning to the point, my impostor syndrome flared up additionally when the psychiatrist stated during the interview that "the symptoms I experience are rather mild, or I somehow manage them, otherwise I would have problems with studying and working" (my professional life is okay, but about 4 times below my potential because I have issues with fluctuations in activity - I work intensely for several days, and then have a few days of a depressive period - it's not like manic-depression, it's rather about activity and the ability to motivate myself to do things, not finding less painful activities, etc.). This surprised me because I perceive them differently (and they seem more concrete than just excusing my inefficiencies). So, of course, I continued the previously started research to feel more at ease.
I was prescribed a dosage that seems non-standard: Medikinet 10mg CR daily, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, and I can double it and then report back after finishing.All this has led to many questions and overthinking. The first day, 10mg didn't make much of an impression on me; it settled me a bit, I felt some interest, took the second dose in the afternoon as recommended, and, of course, couldn't sleep (despite 6mg of melatonin).
Yesterday, I took 20mg in the morning and felt the need to organize everything, and I cleaned the whole apartment, including scrubbing under the closet.Despite this, the impostor syndrome is so insidious that I keep wondering if I'm imagining things, over-researched, and adjusted the answers or interpretations of my life and events to fit the thesis.It's generally a terrible issue because I hope that after years of struggling with "depression," it will finally be addressed, and I can stop dealing with such matters and just focus on work - I am 22 years old, and my first visit to a psychiatrist for depression was around 15-16 years old.
Currently, I have the biggest dilemmas in the following areas, and I really hope someone could shed some light or guide me:
This, of course, suggested a possible scenario - a father with ADHD + trauma could have exacerbated my symptoms, hence now they are more noticeable to me than before, although it resonates more with me that conditions, tasks, and challenges I face have changed. I didn't observe myself in this regard before; I didn't have the knowledge; I attributed my failures to a different “legend” (I wasn't taught consequences, laziness, lack of discipline, if I tried harder, etc.) than ADHD. Obviously, I'm not so infantile as to expect someone to try to resolve this issue, but based on the current conclusive knowledge, how do you assess my line of thinking, does it hold together? Could I check anything else additionally?
To conclude, I know I need to find a good psychiatrist; I have one in mind, but it's pointless at this moment when I have prescriptions and "recommendations" to schedule and pay for a visit since I'll probably get not very in-depth answers (I also understand doctors don't have 2 hours to give a lecture on how and why things work), rather reassuring and "we'll observe." Whenever something stresses or confuses me, I just try to understand it, and when it turns out that my inherent skepticism activated unnecessarily, the problem disappears from the radar.
I hope someone will guide me to the right materials that will tell me a bit more about these issues. Once again, thank you in advance for any response and time spent just reading this post. If additional questions arise to provide a better answer, I am happy to respond.
submitted by Regular-Atmosphere11 to AutisticWithADHD [link] [comments]
I hope someone knowledgeable will be able to guide/help me.
I am 22 years old - my problem is that I have been experiencing a strong impostor syndrome from the beginning. I have done the DIVA test three times with different psychologists. Each time I scored high, and basically, everything fits together rationally. I do indeed recognize the impostor symptom in myself. I discussed this with a friend who is finishing psychology studies and also has ADHD, and he supports my perspective.
Additionally, my father, who committed suicide, most likely also struggled with ADHD (based on the DIVA methodology, I asked the family and matched it to events that complicated his life further, plus, of course, chronic depression).Everything was rather stable until 3 days ago when I had bad lack for a psychiatrist (where I did the last DIVA and a specialist was recommended) - an online visit. I don't want to sound conceited (also, I'm not a doctor), but I had the impression that the psychiatrist I consulted often didn't know the answers to my questions and was evasive. He seemed more interested in my money than in helping and understanding me (I have seen 2 psychologists, 2 therapists, and 3 psychiatrists, so I have a comparison whether someone cares or is genuinely interested). I have scheduled my next appointment with a doctor that is leading ADHD treatment here in Poland
Returning to the point, my impostor syndrome flared up additionally when the psychiatrist stated during the interview that "the symptoms I experience are rather mild, or I somehow manage them, otherwise I would have problems with studying and working" (my professional life is okay, but about 4 times below my potential because I have issues with fluctuations in activity - I work intensely for several days, and then have a few days of a depressive period - it's not like manic-depression, it's rather about activity and the ability to motivate myself to do things, not finding less painful activities, etc.). This surprised me because I perceive them differently (and they seem more concrete than just excusing my inefficiencies). So, of course, I continued the previously started research to feel more at ease.
I was prescribed a dosage that seems non-standard: Medikinet 10mg CR daily, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, and I can double it and then report back after finishing.All this has led to many questions and overthinking. The first day, 10mg didn't make much of an impression on me; it settled me a bit, I felt some interest, took the second dose in the afternoon as recommended, and, of course, couldn't sleep (despite 6mg of melatonin).
Yesterday, I took 20mg in the morning and felt the need to organize everything, and I cleaned the whole apartment, including scrubbing under the closet.Despite this, the impostor syndrome is so insidious that I keep wondering if I'm imagining things, over-researched, and adjusted the answers or interpretations of my life and events to fit the thesis.It's generally a terrible issue because I hope that after years of struggling with "depression," it will finally be addressed, and I can stop dealing with such matters and just focus on work - I am 22 years old, and my first visit to a psychiatrist for depression was around 15-16 years old.
Currently, I have the biggest dilemmas in the following areas, and I really hope someone could shed some light or guide me:
- **Methylphenidate in a person without ADHD** - I couldn't find anything concrete on whether I can verify this - if, for example, I don't have ADHD, how should it affect me vs. someone with ADHD. It's so vaguely described on the internet that it's not clear if there's a concrete way to verify this to avoid questioning my own observations. Obviously, a solid diagnosis like a blood test or MRI for other diseases won't be available, but by nature, I'm a skeptic and need it grounded to sleep peacefully and not get into unnecessary discussions with people who barely understand the subject.
- **Effectiveness of diagnostics** - I haven't encountered any data on how often diagnoses are invalidated. I read on Reddit (unfortunately, there are few better discussion places with a lot of content) that one girl had an ADHD diagnosis, took Adderall, and after about 2 years, it turned out it wasn't ADHD but some compulsive disorder. Is there any information on how many people with an ADHD diagnosis and prescribed treatment are misdiagnosed? It's known that in the USA, people sometimes stretch the truth to get Adderall, but I'm sure you understand my point and the essence of the matter.
- **Dosage** - I have a bit of time left before my next appointment and wonder what I can do (but nothing stupid). My friend, for example, has 30mg CR in the morning and then has those on-demand Medikinet, which keeps him okay later in the day and doesn't cause sleep problems; he's considering switching to Concerta. From my psychiatrist, I basically got the information I already mentioned plus to avoid abusing alcohol. Is there anything I can change in these recommendations to not waste time? If I just take 30mg or 40mg in the morning (of course, gradually and checking the response weekly), am I exposing myself to any problems? I found out on my own that I won't die, but I'm interested in the effectiveness of this treatment, not messing around.
- **A question completely omitted by the psychiatrist, and I didn't get any specific information, which is quite important to me**. In all the DIVA tests, I scored higher in adulthood than in childhood. In the last one, it came out as follows: Summary of symptoms according to DSM-5: I. Attention Deficit: Adulthood: 8/9, Childhood: 7/9 II. Hyperactivity and impulsivity: Adulthood: 9/9, Childhood: 8/9 III. Experienced symptoms are a source of significant problems, manifesting in at least 2 areas of life in both childhood and adulthood. After my own analysis, talking to my mom and sister, it's hard to deny that I had serious problems in areas affected by ADHD plus many “less obvious” symptoms that I learned about from PsychiatraPlus from Mr. Jóźwiak (thanks God he records because books and articles in Poland on the internet are often a disaster) in quite significant intensity. I'm still afraid of cognitive bias and fitting the situation to the thesis.
This, of course, suggested a possible scenario - a father with ADHD + trauma could have exacerbated my symptoms, hence now they are more noticeable to me than before, although it resonates more with me that conditions, tasks, and challenges I face have changed. I didn't observe myself in this regard before; I didn't have the knowledge; I attributed my failures to a different “legend” (I wasn't taught consequences, laziness, lack of discipline, if I tried harder, etc.) than ADHD. Obviously, I'm not so infantile as to expect someone to try to resolve this issue, but based on the current conclusive knowledge, how do you assess my line of thinking, does it hold together? Could I check anything else additionally?
To conclude, I know I need to find a good psychiatrist; I have one in mind, but it's pointless at this moment when I have prescriptions and "recommendations" to schedule and pay for a visit since I'll probably get not very in-depth answers (I also understand doctors don't have 2 hours to give a lecture on how and why things work), rather reassuring and "we'll observe." Whenever something stresses or confuses me, I just try to understand it, and when it turns out that my inherent skepticism activated unnecessarily, the problem disappears from the radar.
I hope someone will guide me to the right materials that will tell me a bit more about these issues. Once again, thank you in advance for any response and time spent just reading this post. If additional questions arise to provide a better answer, I am happy to respond.
2024.05.16 18:06 Cap_External Changing Prescriptions
Hello all, I've been diagnosed for about 2 years after struggling all my life and was lucky to have a doc recognize the symptoms and patterns. Got put on Latuda 60mg (taking generic). I do manage well on the Latuda. However, I shot up in weight so dramatically, it completely snuck up on me. Just boom all of a sudden went 230 to 280. This January, I started dieting and exercising (6-7 days/week), counting calories and being meticulous with my food, getting plenty of protein, etc. I feel like I am having to fight my body for every ounce or pound of weight lost. I've lost about 27 pounds since January. It feels like my metabolism is so slow now, and I'm in a very severe cut as a result. With how much I'm dieting and exercising more weight should be coming off. In addition, the weight gain certainly hasn't helped my depression. Are there any other medications for bipolar disorder that have less propensity for gaining or holding onto weight? I need to open up this conversation with doctor but don't know how to start or what to suggest. Thanks for any responses.
submitted by Cap_External to BipolarReddit [link] [comments]