I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Actual-Beach-4400 and u/Affectionate_Egg895 posting in Marriage
Concluded as per OOP
Content warning - mention of child sexual abuse, miscarriage
2 updates - Medium
Original - 30th March 2024
Update1 - 20th April 2024
Update2 - 13th May 2024
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My husband kicked me out of the home because I invited over his mother
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I preface this by saying I think I screwed up massively.
Hubbie and I have been married for six years now. He's always been the "fun guy", always laughing and making me laugh, always seeing the bright side of things. However, one thing that bothered me was that I never knew much of his family. His father died when he was little and he has little relationship with his mom.
I'll keep this short: four months ago I looked up his mom on social media and found her. I sent a message, and she replied. We chatted and met up, she doesn't live far from us. She knew all about me and her son because she kept an eye on him on social. We became friends and I filled her in with details about our lives. I asked her why hubbie went no contact with her. She refused to tell me why if hubbie didn't tell me, just said it was all her fault and she's ashamed of it. I proposed to try what I could to help them reconcile and she agreed even if she was reluctant at first.
In the following weeks I tried talking to hubbie about his mother and what happened between them. He always changed topic or shut me down. When MIL asked me how it was going, I told her things were progressing and I was working on it.
Last week I decided to try and have them meet up so maybe we could spend Easter together. I invited MIL over before my husband would be back from work so we could surprise. She was a bit unsure about this, she said she wasn't comfortable surprising him like that, but I reassured her. I thought that any emotion hubbie could have would be better cooled by a hug.
Spoiler alert, MIL was right. Hubbie came home, and after the initial shock started yelling like I never heard him to her to get out immediately. She just grabbed her coat and stormed out. Afterwards, hubbie told me to get out too when I explained what I had done. He didn't yell at me, but his voice was cold and almost emotionless.
I've been staying at my sister's since. Hubbie won't take my calls. MIL cried on the phone and asked why I lied like that and never talked to my hubbie and "prepared" him for that. Now she stopped taking my calls as well.
I know I have screwed up big time, and I see now what a massive dork I've been. How can I fix this? I want to apologize to hubbie for what I did and maybe find out why his mom is dead to him.
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Comments
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Maze_C
You’re a manipulative liar with no concept of boundaries. You’re staring divorce in the face and STILL want details on a situation that has absolutely fuck all to do with you. You know you’re a despicable person when even the estranged mother wants nothing to do with you. Grow up.
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Update - 3 weeks later
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The last weeks have been rough, but we might be okay. Hubbie opened up about the reason he cut off his mother and many of you were right, it was s3xual abuse. Not from his mother, but his stepfather. They were engaged and his mom was pregnant with his child when the guy started giving my husband "attentions".
Husband went to his mom but she shut him down accusing him of being jealous and wanting to spoil her happiness. This went on until his mother came home from work unexpectedly and walked in on the guy "giving attention" to my husband. She kicked him out, pressed charges and annulled their engagement, but the damage was done and my husband no longer trusted her. She also lost the baby due to stress and although she never blamed my husband for it, he felt it was his fault.
All this felt like a gut punch for me, first for what he went through, and then because now I am the person who shattered his trust. He said he did consider divorce over this, but pretty bluntly said that he thinks my actions were out of stupidity rather than malice, and he wants to work things out.
I am committed to do my best to become a better and safe partner for him, I know I have this stupid and selfish tendency to think that I often know better than him, but I have to get over it because it hurt him massively and almost imploded our relationship. I don't want to be another person he trusted and ended up hurting him.
He also decided to reach out to his mom and start talking to her again. He's not sure they can repair the relationship, but he wants for both of them to find some closure.
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Comments
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Strange_Salamander33
Literally, she forced him to relive trauma and tell a secret she had no business knowing. I’d definitely have divorced
RegieRealtor49
To be fair he had not told her about the abuse. She had no idea

OOP: I know I screwed up massively and I will do everything I can to become a better wife and safe partner for him

xanif
Another example of someone with a savior complex trying to "fix" things.
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Update - 3 weeks later
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My husband is doing better and our relationship is slowly getting back to what it was. I know it will take a lot of time to repair the damage I caused, but I am willing to give him all the time he wants and do anything he asks out of me.
The bitter irony of this whole story is that he told me he had been thinking about reaching out to his mother, but on his terms and time. By going behind his back I almost destroyed that chance of reconciliation and imploded our marriage. I am working on myself and will start seeing a therapist next month so I never do something like that ever again and more importantly, never betray his trust ever again. Also, with my husband's knowledge and consent, I apologized to MIL for leading her on with false promises and she has forgiven me.
As for him and MIL, they started talking to each other, have met a couple of times in public and yesterday my husband invited her over for dinner so that in his words we all can try to start over properly. She's a very sweet woman and she's eager to reconcile with him and get to know me. My husband said that for now he wants for all of us to get a bit used to each other, then he and MIL will get to work on their traumas (his words).
He says she's not the "villain" in what happened, but he needs to come to terms with her poor decisions and his own feelings of guilt for her losing her baby. MIL on the other hand is very apologetic and extremely sorry about what happened (in my husband's opinion, sincerely so) and doesn't blame him at all for the miscarriage.
As for me, I just sit aside and do my best to rebuild the trust with my husband and become a better and safe partner. He started being affectionate with me again and we are no longer on thin ice, but I can't stop thinking I almost lost him because I thought I knew better than him.
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Comments
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Veronika9216
I remember your story, and I hope you appreciate how lucky you are to be given a second chance.
You know you screwed up when both your husband and the estranged parent are upset at you for what you have done. It seems you all are on the road of reconciling, but never forget that your short-sighted actions could have nuked any possibility of them reconciling and your own marriage.
Be thankful you are given this chance, don't screw it up and although your husband and MIL have forgiven you for breaking both their trusts, it will take time to rebuild their trust for you.
Syclone11
I am happy for you OP. You know how you massively screwed up and have shown yourself to be remorseful and have grasped what you did to your husband.
He and his mother have a lot of healing to do. You are right to stay out of it going forward unless asked by your husband. He is being affectionate because he does love you and knows you deserve redemption and is looking to give you that gift. You are very lucky and I think this will make you a more complete partner. I wish nothing but the best for you, your husband and his mother.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP. Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Hi there!
I have been casually lurking this sub-reddit since before I reverted to Islam last year in September, as well as a number of other Islam-themed sub-reddits.
In this sub specifically, as well as a few others, I have appreciated the entertaining and informative discourse established by the seemingly open-minded and critical denizens.
JazakAllah khair, fam.
I figured I would introduce myself, as I'm at a point in my study of the Quran and Islam where I believe open discussion of my thoughts and knowledge, (or perhaps lackthereof? 🧐 The more you know, the less you know.), would be beneficial rather than overly influential.
Anywho. My name is Marisa, or نُهى 🤷‍♀️. I'm 30 years old. I live in the Bay Area of California and have since I was 18. I moved out here alone, without connections, and built a decent little life for myself. I'm still studying (Civil Eng.) but currently work for a CE drafting and doing occasional field work. I skateboard, bike, read, write, make art, etcetcetc. The two truths I have found in this life are Islam and to seek knowledge insatiably.
Around the end of 2022/beginning of 2023, I found myself with a lot of friends either born in or whose family is from the MENA region. Various places: Tunisia, Palestine, Iraq, Egypt, Morocco, Algeria, Syria, Lebanon, etc. Most are Muslim, الحمد لله 🥰. Given that it's in my nature to seek knowledge, I sought to reconcile the fact that I knew nothing about Islam.
My religious background: I was raised "loosely" Christian. My parents believed in God but didn't really talk about God or go to church. My mom would talk a tiny bit about God with me and I remember saying this prayer before bed well into my teens with her:
"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I shall die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take."
Beside that, throughout my childhood also into my early teens, I would go to church with friends. I think a Catholic church once, but mostly Baptist and Protestant IIRC. I even joined youth group a couple of times.
The thing is though, that Christianity never really spoke to me, even though I believed in God. I just couldn't connect with it for no other reason I can think of, than that God was preserving my faith for Islam.
Around the age of 15, I remember telling my father I thought I was an atheist. He acted upset and told me "We believe in God," but didn't have much to say when I said "Since when? You never talk about God."
Fast forward to 18 or 19, and I started calling myself agnostic. My reasoning for this change was the acceptance of the reality of metaphysical phenomena. I was tired of deluding myself to the existence of something outside our understanding, though not ready to accept that I believed in our monotheistic God, the only Lord, Allah subhana wa ta’ala. (Fun fact: When things were terrible and when things were fantastic, I prayed to Allah, even when I called myself an atheist.)
And I stayed that way until I began reading the Quran, hadith, opinion pieces from casual studies, articles and discussions from scholars, from sources across the board. Sunni, Shia, Quranists, ex-Muslims, etc etc.
And I found myself drawn to Islam. For one, it made me finally admit to myself that I believed in God.
Further, the message I was receiving from the Quran was one of ethics, love(in all its forms, fierce and tender), knowledge-seeking, reciprocity, and patience, and so much more as my studies will not cease until I die ان شاء الله .
The tipping point from being drawn by to diving into Islam was what I can only explain as guidance directly from Allah SWT.
I was up late reading Surah an-Nisa. I had finished reading the following ayah, which I had resonated with and was feeling deeply at that moment.
After reading those, I was thinking over them and ready to sleep, I went to put my Quran down. As I did, it flipped open to the page with the Shahada on it. Seeing it, I had a very strong, sudden, and urgent feeling that I needed to take my Shahada. I want to say my intuition was pushing me, but it was different, outside of myself, and far stronger. So I did. I took my Shahada and fell asleep knowing I had done the right thing. Later, I said my Shahada with Muslim witnesses, of course, though not at a masjid.
Since then, I have been content with my choice and endlessly grateful to Allah SWT for His guidance الحمد لله ❤️
For further clarity on my particular stance within Islam, I identify purely as a Muslim and do not associate myself with any sects or school of thought. I take information from everywhere, and my research always goes back to the Quran. I am not a native Arabic speaker, although I'm slowly learning ان شاء الله (And am actually starting lessons soon, الحمد لله), so I often use friends (from all over and who identify within different Islamic schools of thought) as translators when I deep dive verses, hadith, etc, as well as multiple Arabic-English dictionaries, a Quranic Root index, and varying sources of interpretation.
I have not formed any particular blanket opinion about any sect or school of thought at this point, though find some sect-associated acts to be contrary to what we're taught in the Quran.
I am highly skeptical of Hadiths (including the science behind the chains of transmission), though I do not dismiss them entirely. Some are bound to be accurate at best, and indicative of socio-political conditions/individual and group character at worst.
I am deeply curious, though currently ill-informed, about the long-term effect that the first 4 caliphs, as well as the Ummayid and Abbasid caliphates had on the Ummah and our collective understanding of Islamic history, and subsequently our understanding of Islam.
Not sure what else to put on here besides what I already have.
Oh, I have two cats. Ada and Marie. They're named after scientists. If you can guess who they're named after, I'll think you're really cool, مل شاء الله 👌
Also #freepalestine
The ayah from an-Nisa, with Yusef Ali translation:
{ ۞وَٱعۡبُدُواْ ٱللَّهَ وَلَا تُشۡرِكُواْ بِهِۦ شَيۡـٔٗاۖ وَبِٱلۡوَٰلِدَيۡنِ إِحۡسَٰنٗا وَبِذِي ٱلۡقُرۡبَىٰ وَٱلۡيَتَٰمَىٰ وَٱلۡمَسَٰكِينِ وَٱلۡجَارِ ذِي ٱلۡقُرۡبَىٰ وَٱلۡجَارِ ٱلۡجُنُبِ وَٱلصَّاحِبِ بِٱلۡجَنۢبِ وَٱبۡنِ ٱلسَّبِيلِ وَمَا مَلَكَتۡ أَيۡمَٰنُكُمۡۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُحِبُّ مَن كَانَ مُخۡتَالٗا فَخُورًا } [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 36]
Serve Allah, and join not any partners with Him; and do good- to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (ye meet), and what your right hands possess: For Allah loveth not the arrogant, the vainglorious;-
{ ٱلَّذِينَ يَبۡخَلُونَ وَيَأۡمُرُونَ ٱلنَّاسَ بِٱلۡبُخۡلِ وَيَكۡتُمُونَ مَآ ءَاتَىٰهُمُ ٱللَّهُ مِن فَضۡلِهِۦۗ وَأَعۡتَدۡنَا لِلۡكَٰفِرِينَ عَذَابٗا مُّهِينٗا } [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 37]
(Nor) those who are niggardly or enjoin niggardliness on others, or hide the bounties which Allah hath bestowed on them; for We have prepared, for those who resist Faith, a punishment that steeps them in contempt;-
{ وَٱلَّذِينَ يُنفِقُونَ أَمۡوَٰلَهُمۡ رِئَآءَ ٱلنَّاسِ وَلَا يُؤۡمِنُونَ بِٱللَّهِ وَلَا بِٱلۡيَوۡمِ ٱلۡأٓخِرِۗ وَمَن يَكُنِ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنُ لَهُۥ قَرِينٗا فَسَآءَ قَرِينٗا } [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 38]
Not those who spend of their substance, to be seen of men, but have no faith in Allah and the Last Day: If any take the Evil One for their intimate, what a dreadful intimate he is!
{ وَمَاذَا عَلَيۡهِمۡ لَوۡ ءَامَنُواْ بِٱللَّهِ وَٱلۡيَوۡمِ ٱلۡأٓخِرِ وَأَنفَقُواْ مِمَّا رَزَقَهُمُ ٱللَّهُۚ وَكَانَ ٱللَّهُ بِهِمۡ عَلِيمًا } [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 39]
And what burden Were it on them if they had faith in Allah and in the Last Day, and they spent out of what Allah hath given them for sustenance? For Allah hath full knowledge of them.
{ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يَظۡلِمُ مِثۡقَالَ ذَرَّةٖۖ وَإِن تَكُ حَسَنَةٗ يُضَٰعِفۡهَا وَيُؤۡتِ مِن لَّدُنۡهُ أَجۡرًا عَظِيمٗا } [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 40]
Allah is never unjust in the least degree: If there is any good (done), He doubleth it, and giveth from His own presence a great reward.
{ فَكَيۡفَ إِذَا جِئۡنَا مِن كُلِّ أُمَّةِۭ بِشَهِيدٖ وَجِئۡنَا بِكَ عَلَىٰ هَٰٓؤُلَآءِ شَهِيدٗا } [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 41]
How then if We brought from each people a witness, and We brought thee as a witness against these people!
{ يَوۡمَئِذٖ يَوَدُّ ٱلَّذِينَ كَفَرُواْ وَعَصَوُاْ ٱلرَّسُولَ لَوۡ تُسَوَّىٰ بِهِمُ ٱلۡأَرۡضُ وَلَا يَكۡتُمُونَ ٱللَّهَ حَدِيثٗا } [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 42]
On that day those who reject Faith and disobey the messenger will wish that the earth Were made one with them: But never will they hide a single fact from Allah!

Spoilers ahead…
Dear Karthik Subbaraj,
Congratulations on yet another interesting movie, and for resisting the impulse to name this one, too, after a food item. Iraivi is an unusual feminist film, in the sense that it’s seen entirely through the prism of sympathetic male characters. Your men aren’t monsters who drink or cheat on their wives or subject them to torture. They do these things, yes, but… differently. Arul (SJ Surya) drinks, but only to drown out his sense of failure – he’s a director and his film is in the cans, being held hostage by a sadistic producer. Michael (Vijay Sethupathi) has sex with Malarvizhi (Pooja Devariya), and he continues to lust after her after his marriage to Ponni (Anjali) – I love that all your women have names that suggest classical heroines, including Arul’s wife Yazhini (Kamalini Mukherjee) – but it’s a marriage he committed to in a hurry and he still hasn’t reconciled himself to it. He’s being a bastard, certainly, but he’s not a one-note villain. And the torture they inflict isn’t the stubbing-a-cigarette-into-the-wife’s-bare-arm variety. It’s more mental than physical.
So we get women who are collateral damage – and I include Arul’s comatose mother (Vadivukkarasi), and the nurse who’s not allowed to do her duty – of men being men. They’re being babies, really. Yazhini tells Arul that he should get on with his life, write another story, make another movie. He says it’s like her trying to have another child while still pregnant with their daughter. (Yes, all these men end up with girl children.) He’s a wallower – but maybe all artists are. You like to do that, don’t you Karthik? Even in a film like this, you deliver a commentary about filmmaking and the artist. Why, even Arul’s father is a sculptor, and though we never see him ill-treating his wife (thank you for sparing us the clichés of raised hands and raised voices), we’re informed that he’s responsible for her state. His son’s following the father’s footsteps. Maybe you’re trying to say that the wives of obsessed artists are doomed to become collateral damage. Your films make us think, Karthik, so thank you for that.
All your stories have at their centre a filmmaker, or at least (in the case of your first film, Pizza) a storyteller. And through them, we seem to hear your voice. “Works of art should not be in places where they are not respected.” “Namma padam pesanum, naama pesa koodadhu.” You compare masala movies to a massage with a happy ending. (I laughed, but please don’t judge me when I say I rather like massages with happy endings – I refer to masala movies, of course.) We even get a line of dialogue about Dolby Atmos. (What will the B/C-centre audience make of this, Karthik? But then you don’t really give a shit, do you? More power to you.) And you like your insider jokes. That crass, egoistic producer who does not care about art – he reminded me of the crass producer from your earlier film, Jigarthanda. You like Rajinikanth too. You referenced Thillu Mullu in Pizza, Thalapathi in Jigarthanda, and now you have Arul singing Malayala karayoram, Michael singing Oorai therinjikitten.
Or is that more of an Ilayaraja homage? You like to keep the audience guessing, right? When the Bobby Simha character in Jigarthanda said he was a Shankar-Ganesh fan, it appeared that you were mocking the endless Ilayaraja nods in Tamil cinema, but here you are, doffing your hat to the maestro. “Raja Raja dhaan.” Arul says this… twice. (By the way, which is that nightclub which plays Maanguyile poonguyile? Do let us know.) And the reuse of Unnai thaane – first in a scene between Michael and Malarvizhi; later in a scene between Michael and Ponni – is the kind of Easter egg we come to your films for. Let me list some others, though I’ll probably need to watch the film a second (or third) time to get them all. The name of the bachelors’ quarters is Ambal Mansion – it goes with your theme and title. I didn’t get the bit about the windmills (something connected to the gust of wind that makes the row of cycles fall over in the first scene?), or why you showcased the book of Shanta Shishunala Sharif’s poems. (I confess. I Googled up that name. I can’t remember the last time a Tamil film made me Google something up. Madras, maybe.) And despite your note at the beginning that Iraivi is inspired by the works of K Balachander (he made female-centric films, but I don’t know if I’d call them feminist films), this is really more of an ode to Mani Ratnam, isn’t it? Specifically, Aayidha Ezhuthu. The three men, one of them – the impulsive one – named Michael. The film starting out as Arul’s story, then becoming Michael’s story, and finally Jagan’s (Bobby Simha) story. The finale with the woman on the train. Plus, the arc of the Madhavan-Meera Jasmine plot was essentially about being easily misled (in the case of the man) and becoming collateral damage (in the case of the woman.) And yes, the rain. All that rain. As though the skies were weeping for these women.
Am I digressing, Karthik? If I am, I’m just following your style, which is the opposite of simple and linear. As a result, I find your films longer than they need to be. (You may feel the same about my reviews.) For instance, I did not care for the scene in the nightclub where a director is felicitated. I realise it was there as a last straw for Yazhini, but it felt redundant. But I suppose they couldn’t be any other way, because you like these shaggy-dog stories that you then embellish with novelistic detail. I love the way you introduce your characters, the time you take with them. Our films lay out characters and their relationship to each other the minute we set eyes on them, but you make us wait to know how Arul is related to Jagan and where Michael fits in and so on. And when it appeared that a semblance of a plot was kicking in (something about Arul needing money to buy back his film), I dug out my phone and checked: it was a whole hour into the movie. Borrowing an image from Malarvizhi’s profession (oh wait, she’s an artist too; she’s literally an artist), it’s like daubs of paint slowly forming a bigger picture.
And you really like an expansive canvas. Not only does the crass producer have a brother, you also bring in his wife later on, to conclude a deal he began making. These segments practically form a mini-movie, with another woman left reeling by the actions of her man. Your films have this… density. They’re packed – with characters, with complications, with information doled out in bits and pieces. (A character says, “Un kitta onnu sollanum.” And instead of hearing what he has to say, we cut to someone else.) Take the scene where Michael asks Arul for money he is owed. You just need to get Michael to Arul’s antiques shop, so the next part of the plot can be staged. Arul could have told Michael to collect the money at the shop. Instead, this is what we get. Arul tells Michael to wait for a week, when he can get the 50 lakhs he is owed. Michael says he wants only 10 lakhs. Arul says he has only 8 lakhs, he’ll give the remainder later. Michael goes to Arul’s father, in the hospital. He has only 5 lakhs. And he directs Michael to the shop, to get the remaining 3 lakhs. Your signature intercutting adds to this texture, Karthik. Shots of Michael and Arul’s father in the hospital are intercut with shots of Arul hunting for booze. Shots of Michael and Jagan outside a courtroom are intercut with shots of Arul being consoled by his father. Happenings are stretched and meshed the way they would be in real life, and not compacted according to the page-per-minute requirement of screenplay-writing textbooks.
I could never predict where the film was going (win!), what these people were going to do (again, win!) –though I must admit I found this to be the weakest of your “twists.” The subplot about stealing sculptures, too, I found rather conceit-y, something half-heartedly cooked up to fit with the title and the theme, rather than something plausible, something these people would do. When Michael, here, commits murder, with a hammer, I went, “This mild-mannered chap? Really?” But then, even in Jigarthanda, I wasn’t quite convinced that the characters would do the things they did. They seemed to be puppets of a screenplay rather than credible human beings, whose actions evolve organically from who they are (or at least, who they seem to be).
But even if I am not convinced by the overall trajectory of your characters, I love how fleshed-out they are on a moment-to-moment basis. I loved the scene where Arul barges into Yazhini’s house, after their separation, on the day of her engagement to someone else. In a lesser film, she would have asked him to get out, and he’d have dug his heels in, and she’d have cooled down and… But here, she rushes straight into his arms. And you make us see why. She was frustrated, fed up with him. But she’s also confused. Was she hasty in abandoning this man? Should she move on with another man? Does she even need a man? With just this one scene, you’ve compensated for the underwritten heroine of Jigarthanda. The story arc may be Arul’s, but Yazhini registers as a fully formed character. Similarly, Michael’s arc allows for the delineation of Ponni and Malarvizhi, and through Jagan, we get glimpses of his mother, and possibly of all womanhood as viewed by a compassionate man. And then you say that women don’t need even this compassionate man (poor chap!), that they have to emancipate themselves instead of looking for a penis-wielding emancipator. What delicious irony, given that you begin the film with women talking about marriage, tying themselves to a man!
Or not, in the case of Malarvizhi, who is easily the film’s most interesting character. Her husband is dead, and she doesn’t want love anymore – only sex. When Michael buys her a diamond necklace, she gives it back to him – she can buy her own trinkets, thank you very much. But the character feels shoe-horned into the film, Karthik. I felt betrayed – and I bet she did too – that after a point, she was used simply as a plot device to get Michael and Ponni together, and also to illustrate Michael’s (who is now standing in for all of mankind) hypocrisy. I felt she deserved more. And yet, I appreciated your generosity in fleshing her out like all the others, without judging her. She gets to be the rare woman in Tamil cinema who dumps the man, and the way she lets go of Michael is echoed in the way Arul lets go of Yazhini, with a heavy heart and some playacting. A side effect of the Malarvizhi subplot is the reassurance that Vijay Sethupathi is still interested in making cinema, rather than just massy entertainers targeted at the box office.
Ponni gets a better deal (and Anjali is terrific, raw and expressive in a way she has never been). In a great scene – rather, a set of book-ending scenes – Michael tells Ponni that he was forced to marry her, and she’s going to have to “adjust” to this if she wants to be with him. Much later, she throws the “adjust” word back on his bearded face when he asks her if she slept with someone else. In a different kind of movie, we’d be invited to see this symmetry, stand up and applaud. But you’re too subtle for that, Karthik. Iraivi is your subtlest film. Which is why I winced at the melodramatic lines about men and women, most of which came towards the end. Aan, using the long-sounding vowel, versus penn, with the shorter one – for such a visual filmmaker (this is another outstandingly shot film, less showy than Jigarthanda and probably richer for that), do you really need the crutch of linguistic special effects from another era of filmmaking? Also, when the rest of your film is so allusive, isn’t there another way you can explain the twist without having a character resort to such an inelegant information dump?
And why is it that your films come together more in the head than in the heart? Why are they easier to admire than love wholeheartedly? I used to think it was because your characters are essentially deceitful, self-serving and unsympathetic, so though we were invested in what they did, we didn’t really warm up to them. But here, you have Ponni and Yazhini and Malarvizhi – and they’re still remote. But perhaps this is bound to happen when there are so many people, so many strands, when we don’t follow one person’s simplistic “you go, girl” journey like we do in, say, 36 Vayadhinile? But when the parts are so well-crafted, we don’t complain as much about their sum not adding up to a satisfying whole. I am sure that you will, one day, make that wholly satisfying film, but for now, thank you for these parts. Thank you for the ambition. I felt there were too many songs (some good work by Santhosh Narayanan), but thank you for ensuring that they don’t break character, the way songs usually do when a character speaking in his or her voice suddenly segues into the playback singer’s voice. Thank you for giving us SJ Surya, the actor – I never dreamed he had such a capacity to hold a scene, to hold the screen. Thank you for continuing not to sell out. Thank you for trying to do so much, even if not all of it needed to have been tried. And thank you for making me fight with myself, for not making it easy to decide if you’ve made a “good” film or a merely “okay” film. For now, Iraivi is a fascinating film, and that’s enough.
Sincerely, etc.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Ok-Firefighter602 posting in AmItheAsshole and his user account
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 29th April 2023
Update - 22nd May 2023
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AITA for breaking a promise and attending my stepdaughter's graduation?
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I’ll start by explaining some backstory. I (54M) lost my first wife when my son (25M) and daughter (22F) were ages 9 and 12, Both my kids took it as hard as you would expect and to this day have a poor relationship with both my current wife "Doreen (49F)" and my stepdaughter "Amy (18F)". I started dating Doreen about 4 months after my first wife passed, as such my kids believe I cheated on their mom. Amy was 5 when we got together and as such I see her as my own daughter.
On to the actual story, 4 years ago, two days before Kay's high school graduation, Amy got very ill while visiting her grandparents and ended up needing emergency surgery. My wife and I rushed to be with Amy and admittedly I did not communicate well with Kay. At the time Kay didn't pick up my calls, so I left her a voicemail and several text messages explaining what happened and telling Kay I was sorry but I would make it up to her. A few hours go by and I get a call from Kay, she is in hysterics telling me what a terrible father I am and stated that if I did not attend her graduation I would be dead to her. I chose to support Amy.
True to her words, Kay did not contact me on the day of her graduation. And when came home Kay's things had been moved out of the house with a note explaining that we were no longer family and to never contact her again.
Luckily Kay and I were able to reconcile, however, I promised her I would give her absolutely anything in the world to make her forgive me. She said that she would forgive me as long as I refused to attend Amy's graduation as this was the only way to make it fair. I agreed at the time thinking she was just joking or angry and would soon forget.
This leads me to now. Invitations for Amy's graduation went out, and despite all the hostility Amy wanted to make sure Kay got one. Kay called Amy later that day and said she would be unable to attend as she and I would be spending the day together per our agreement. Amy broke down into tears asking me why I was missing her graduation, I assured her I was not and that I would speak to Kay. Later I explained to Kay that I simply could not miss Amy's graduation. Kay launched into a tirade about how I was a liar and an asshole and how could I do this to her again. I told her that we would talk when she calmed down and she said we would never talk again.
My son, and several of our extended family have all taken Kay's side saying I didn't see how hurt she was at graduation. My wife believes I am the asshole for even promising that in the first place as I should have known it would only upset one or both girls. And Amy is just sad and confused wondering why Kay hates her. I know keeping my promise and not attending Amy's graduation is probably the only way to salvage my relationship with Kay, but no matter how I look at it I would feel like I'm punishing Amy for having a medical issue, so am I the asshole?
EDIT to add some relevant info.
I NEVER cheated on my first wife. your accusations are honestly tiring and disgusting.
Amy's Bio father was never in her life. I am NOT Amy's Biological father, that wasn't ever even in question as we are not the same race.
Amy had appendicitis, she was staying over 4 hours away at her grandparent's house. at the time that we left the only info Doreen's mother would give us was she passed out and wouldn't wake up.
My daughter was moved out of our house for about a month and a half after which we made up and she returned to live with us for another 2 years before going away to school.
I did not believe Kay when she said she wanted me to miss Amy's graduation as it seemed like a ridiculous request. despite what you all may believe our relationship was fine after this event we were in near-daily contact and she would frequently visit us.
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Comments
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Angry-trans
YTA And have been for years. You are a bad father. Kay is correct. You are a liar. You've done nothing to prioritize Kay ever since your new family rolled in. Your relationship with your daughter is dead and the blood is on your hands.
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calliatom
Seriously though... you never should have promised Kay that, knowing full well that you had no intention of keeping your word. And now you're being a bad father to Amy too, by trying to use her tears and guilt to dig yourself out of the grave you dug yourself with Kay.
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CryptographerSuch753
Seems like all op cared about was getting his way in the moment. Seems like that may be a pattern
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victoria12345678909
YTA - you replaced your kids mom with a new family 4 months after she died! Your kids lost their mom so young and you don’t seem like you prioritized their feelings or helped them deal with things, instead you moved on fast. Kay didn’t have a mother to attend her graduation and she needed you there. Could you not have driven to the grad then back to the hospital?
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LadyDerri
Ten to One that Amy is his daughter. That's why he favors her.
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Comments from OOP

Amy ended up having to get an emergency appendectomy, but at the time was visiting her Grandparents about a 4 hour drive from where we lived. Her grandmother didn't give us too much relevant information before we left, just that she had passed out and wouldn't wake up. On the way there we didn't know her condition or anything because her grandmother is a non-native English speaker and didn't understand a lot of the medical terms. once we got there and signed off on the surgery she ended up needing an additional 2 days in the hospital and wanted both of us by her side. During this time I repeatedly called and texted both my mother and son who were planning to attend the ceremony. I had every intention of calling/ video calling so that I could still support her, but she told everyone she didn't want me to be a part of it.

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I didn't immediately move in Doreen and Amy once we started dating, we dated for over 2 years before we moved in together. My wife's death was not a sudden thing she battled cancer on and off for years before she passed. My children already knew/ were comfortable with Doreen as she was my late wife's best friend so I thought they would enjoy having her around more. I offered both children grief counseling, my son took me up on it, and I took Kay to a few sessions but she would kick/ scream/ cry every time I took her finally the counselor decided that forcing her before she was ready would only worsen her grief. I offered her therapy many times over the years, but she never took me up on it.

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first of all, I knew Doreen for years before I even met my late wife, in fact, Doreen introduced us. I thought my kids would like having Doreen around as before my wife passed they loved her like an aunt. I did not move her in or make her a permanent part of our daily lives until over 2 years into our relationship. four months after my wife passed we agreed to explore our romantic feelings I explained what was going on in age-appropriate terms so they wouldn't be blindsided if they caught their dad kissing their "aunt".

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**Judgement - YTA*\*
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Update - 1 month later
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I wasn't sure if I wanted to post an update after the reaction I got last time, I can stomach death threats against myself but directing such hatred toward my children was truly disturbing. But the graduation has come and gone and I thought I should share how it all went down. I'm sure most of you will be displeased.
Amy was mad at me for a few days, but we have a strong bond and she quickly got over it. The saint that she is said she would understand if I wanted to miss it to make it up to Kay. I told her I wouldn't do that to her and reassured her that she has done nothing wrong.
As for the elephant in the room, Kay, she and my son live in the same city and work in the same field so they're as close as ever. My son and his partner were giving her a lot of emotional support at this time. In the end, she decided not to attend Amy's graduation but sent flowers and a card with my son. There were a lot of nasty messages directed toward her, which I feel is completely unacceptable. She isn't mean or vindictive. She is a smart, very kind, very empathetic woman. She made a bizarre ultimatum as a confused and hurt teenager I certainly don't think that makes her a bad person.
I know all of you seem to think I hate my children, but the amount of pain I feel at the deterioration of my relationship with my daughter is unexplainable, I've been on and off anti-depressants since the death of my wife and at my therapist's suggestion will be going back on them. it's taking all of my willpower not to reach out to her again, but I've already disrespected her wishes enough. She can choose to reach out to me when and if she ever wants to again and I'll be waiting.
I know it's not the most impactful update and I'm sure most of you wanted to see me left miserable and alone, but I don't live my life for anyone else's entertainment. I can accept that I'm the asshole, maybe I'm an asshole in general, but I'm not some evil monster that you all want me to be. I'm a man that made the mistake of sharing his problems with the internet a mistake I won't be making again. I probably won't delete this account, but I'm not gonna be updating in the future. goodbye.
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Comments
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YogurtclosetWeird789
Look OP I get that you're human, just a man.
But you can't get away with the I made mistakes because you make the same ones over and over again.
I don't understand trolls and stupid people with the death threats or nasty messages about your kids it's wrong and disgusting.
The only issue here is YOU! The fact that claim to love Kay and how it is breaking your heart that she wants nothing to do with you is your own fault, every 'mistake' you made and repeated always seems to be against her. I don't actually think you care about Kay all that much as you still have Amy.
Now you've decided oh well I've fucked up again and made so many mistakes I'll just leave her alone and not confront the fact you failed her as a supportive father. OWN IT, Change your damn ways.
Believe me, you're not the worst dad out there. but you are a shitty one to Kay.
When will you wake up and realise without the self-pity that YOU have to be the one to make amends. Why on earth would she contact you?
Do you not care that one day she will get married and you won't be invited to the wedding or even to walk her down the aisle? When she has her first child and you find out through the grapevine instead of being a Grandpa?
Maybe one day she will forgive you, but not if your solution is to just give her space! seems to me she had a lot of space from you already. All she wanted was your time and sole attention for a bit, and you've never been able to give her that. I feel for both your son and daughter because it seems you have a favourite and you don't care as long as Amy is ok.
Let me guess and say your wife thinks it's best to give her the space? Amy may be a nice girl but I bet your wife has encouraged your behaviour.
It's honestly sad.
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OOP: I'm giving Kay space because that's what she said she wants, I can't do anything other than that. No matter what I'm gonna still be there for her any way I can, but for the time being, I'm not going to pester her or beg for forgiveness because that's not what she wants. I HAVE made mistakes and at the top of that list is not listening to my children when they tell me exactly what they need from me.

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AAP_BH
Even in this follow up post the way you speak about Kay, the disgust you feel for her oozes out. You claim so many people spoke badly of her in your previous post but those comments were minimal compared to the people that spoke badly of YOU, YOUR WIFE AND SAINT AMY but you don’t mention that, you still want Kay to be the “bad” daughter. Saying her request was “sad and bizarre” no it wasn’t.
It’s so convenient that this is when all of a sudden you realize you need to and will listen to Kay, not when she was begging you to choose her for once since your dear saint Amy came into your life. All you had to do was not go to a High School graduation and you couldn’t even do that.
You’re a horrible father to Kay and you will continue to be one. The fact that you still made the decision to put Amy over your freaking daughter is so sad, the fact that you cared so much more over Amy being upset over letting Kay down again says a lot. Leave Kay alone, don’t ever contact her again unless it’s to say flat out to her face that you are stepping down as a father since you know you will never be able to giver her the love and attention you give your true daughter Amy, that Amy will always come first. I had peritonitis, I was in the hospital (at 8yrs old) for almost a year on and off and my mom would leave to work , she was a single mother, and I was fine. Amy was a teenager, had A MOTHER AND GRANDPARENTS, she had appendicitis a common procedure, 2 freaking days before your daughters graduation and you couldn’t leave just for a day bc “Amy wanted me by her side”. My heart aches for Kay, knowing she is pretty much an orphan. Ughh parents like you I don’t freaking understand, you should’ve given up your rights as a father the moment you decided that your new family was more important than your children. I don’t think I’ve ever had so much hate for a stranger on Reddit.
ETA— by the way you sad excuse of a man, you didn’t make a mistake you made various CHOICES and DECISIONS to deliberately hurt your daughter. You DECIDED TO PUT AMY FIRST. You’re no victim, the only victim here is your ex daughter, Kay and probably her brother as well
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Soft_Consequence2262
Oh Amy the Saint.... I got the same vibes. The Father is trying to paint Kay as the bad person that he needs to defend. Yet, can't go past without a shout out to how AMAZING Amy is... actually gives me the creeps. Feels like he has some weird obsession with her perfection.
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[deleted]
Yeah the Amy the Saint really rubbed me the wrong way. It’s sad that despite everything, OP is still so delusional. I wish Kay a life of happiness, even if it means she would go NC with OP for life.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

(I am SO sorry for the needed lengthy) Back Story & Context Leading To My Decision:
I (33F) have 1 sibling, “Sam” (38F). Although we share the same parents, our childhood & the way we were treated was incredibly different. Mainly because Sam had always been favored & treated far better than me. A fact that Sam refuses to acknowledge to this day.
Before & after my parents got married, it was agreed upon that they would not have children, until one day my mother “Susan” (66F) came up with the bright idea that if she gave her parents (“Norma & Gene”) a grand-baby they would finally love her. She went off the pill without telling my father, got pregnant, then had Sam. To no one’s surprise, Susan hated being a mom. So she would ship Sam across the country to Norma & Gene’s constantly, so much so, they saw her as THEIR child. And they showered her with love that Susan never even got a taste of. This led to Susan being aggressively jealous & resentful of her child.
Years later, my dad was tricked again into having me to “save their marriage.” They divorced when I was 3. All Sam ever knew from Susan was neglect, emotional & mental abuse from Susan, which only became worse when she could use “favoring” me as another way to hurt Sam. This was NOT a secret in my family, resulting in maltreatment towards me (either subconsciously or intentionally).
Abuse toward Sam turned physical. My father was given full custody of her when I was 8, and I was left with Susan for the next 2 years until she decided she wanted to move to San Francisco because she “deserved” a more glamorous life. I do not remember the years living with Susan, but recently one of my closest friends (of 25 years) said to me I practically lived at her house & she barely interacted with Susan throughout the entirety of our friendship.
To make up for Susan being an awful parent, Norma & Gene would dote on Sam & shell out a lot of $$$ to give her a very nice life which includes but not limited to; taking her on luxury trips around the world (I was only invited on 1 in the times we lived together), Norma would write her lengthy letters to continue growing their bond, has had so much money spent on her such as down payment on her first house & paid for extravagant events such as majority of the bill for her $50,000 wedding @ 21yo, the rest my father paid for. The only time she worked before graduating with her degree was part time ONE semester in college then quit because it was “so tiring” to work & study. Want to guess who paid her bills & gave her an allowance the rest of the time? Compare this to me when I barley received a kind word. They offered me money ONCE in my early 20’s to pay off my credit card & medical debt I accrued in college as I had to pay all my own bills while working full time (I have been working since I was 15) and going to school full time. I am the only one in the family who worked in college, yet I am still the only one to graduate with honors. I accepted with the condition it would come out of my “inheritance.” I have never asked or been offered money since. I have paid for ALL my own bills since I left home @ 18 years old.
Despite the obvious disparities and constant hurt they put me through, I was an active member of the family who mainly kept her mouth shut. I attended family events unless I could not afford to go, I sent holiday gifts, called between 1-2x per month for an 1 hour+ phone call in which I most often bit my tongue unless it was to defend Sam as Norma did not agree with her parenting.
Something to note, in May 2021 my father had an accident that would lead to his passing in December 2021. The disagreements & Sam’s nastiness toward me after the accident and then his death further strained our relationship.
Fast forward to March 2023. An explosive incident at Susan’s home. Susan started berating Sam for not allowing Susan to take my oldest nephew cross country for a week. When Sam confronted her on the abuse she endured growing up, and will not subject her kids to that, Susan lost it. Not only did Susan say that Sam made that up (I have the court documents in my possession) she screamed at Sam until she began sobbing in ear shot of her 3 young kids, husband, and my step father. I stood up for Sam as always, which resulted in Susan screaming in my face “I don’t want a relationship with you” with Sam as a witness. I cut ties at that moment, then made the family aware of my decision, and everyone, including Norma agreed to respect my decision.
By August 2023, my physical health that had been on a rapid decline since 2019 including 18 out of 23 (78%) of my spinal discs deteriorating without a known cause had become unbearable to manage + time I had to take off because of migraines & doctor’s appointments, I had to quit my corporate desk job. I had enough money saved to tide me over for some time, but as any US adult in their 20’s & 30’s know, it’s been rough the past few years, add in physical disabilities & limited mobility + regular migraines, I was running low on money & needed help. So at the end of December, at the encouragement & insistence of my aunt “Elizabeth” (61F & Susan’s sister) who I had become quite close with over the past few years, I went to Norma & Gene to ask for a LOAN. They had donated $25,000 to Sam’s place of worship on her behalf a few months prior, offered to buy Sam & her husband a house the year prior, paid for Elizabeth’s bills & expensive lifestyle for the last year when she was soul searching on what line of work she wanted to do next, this was after putting a down payment on Elizabeth’s new $470,000 condo + $70,000 of renovations it needed, not to mention the literal hundreds of thousands of dollars that they have given Susan over the years just to pay off her credit card debt (none of which is coming out of their inheritance might I add) she assured me they would absolutely loan their granddaughter with serious health issues money. Elizabeth would talk to them personally about it, just to seal the deal while Sam would help me find cheaper alternatives to my current necessities such as Medicaid.
I make the request, and to my surprise they are more than happy to help me with a loan. But one week later & their phone calls with Susan, they say by email they “love me but cannot continue to financially support my poor decisions.” I call Elizabeth who says, it was not in her best interest to talk to them about helping me as I am “worthless to this family and society while being disabled.” Then adds that she will not let her “mental health deteriorate just to emotionally support me.” I then immediately reach out to Sam who does not even have the guts to talk by phone only text, and says she called Susan to explain my circumstance but “wasn’t going to argue or pick a fight” to help me and that she is sorry that that she “can't show up for me the way I want her to because she needs to maintain her own mental health, relationships and boundaries.” She also threw in that I have “made up this narrative in my head” that they treat her & I different, that she is treated better.
That day I fully cut contact with Norma, Gene, and Elizabeth. I told them they will not be hearing from me again, and I will not be attending theirs or Susan’s funeral. And I stopped speaking with Sam for the time being. Ironically, what led us to speaking was last month (April 20224) I had begun working on an article about going No Contact with family members. I asked if I could discuss her childhood abuse in a few sentences as part of the article. She agreed and offered to give me quotes. I accepted then interviewed her. From there we began rebuilding our relationship.
Then last Wednesday, (May 8), Norma passes. I do not attend the funeral that happened on Friday, May 10. My two cousins who I have become very close with in the last 6 months understood why, and supported my decision. But even though I did not go, I continually checked in with them & Sam to ensure they were okay. Not once from Wednesday to yesterday (Tuesday) did Sam reply to a single message. As I am concerned about this, I reached out yesterday morning. She replied in the afternoon. I was incredibly hurt by her very lengthy message. Here are 2 excerpts that led me to full NC.

1. “Your perspective on the situation was clear, you werent coming to be with the family and you arent grieving [Norma’s] death at least in the conventional sense. I had to be the one to answer from most of the family why you werent there, it was incredibly awkward and uncomfortable for me.”
2. “Since late January/Early February things have already been really strained between us. I know that most that comes from my point of view and actions were really hurtful to you. I hate that I hurt you and Its been difficult for me to reconcile that I can't show up for you the way you want me to while also maintaining my own mental health, relationships and boundaries.”

She continually says that she cannot show up for me the way I need without affecting her mental health, jeopardizing her relationship with Susan, Gene or Norma, crossing boundaries (boundaries she never clarified even when I asked) and I am not someone that would ever want to hinder someone else’s life by my presence or cause inner turmoil by associating with me. I let her know this and said I will stop trying to cultivate a relationship and I will step away for good. I said it as kind as possible, taking an hour to craft a message that can only be seen as kind. I told her if she responds I will not be reading it.
I work very hard to stay positive as it’s just me to lean on. When there is something eating at me emotionally, it will drain my energy & have me spiral until it is resolved. I did not want to waste another week feeling hurt. But with that said, AITA for cutting ties at this time & not waiting?

So I, F24, made the decision at Thanksgiving to go no-contact with my Father, and both sides of my family, maternal and paternal, have been guilt-tripping me non-stop for this decision for months. However, none of them know or understand the circumstances leading up to this decision. (This is long one, but context is important to understand why I no longer with to associate with him)
First, we have to go back to when I was a kid. During my childhood my dad was just a dude who lived in our house and ate all our snacks. He barely interacted with us, save for taking me to the occasional Harry Potter or Marvel movie. He missed my softball games, my volleyball games, my basketball games, my school events such as choir recitals, plays, etc. not because of work (which I would understand) but to instead play Warhammer and paint little figurines for the game. He was also emotionally volatile and abusive. On several occasions he slapped me across the face and numerous times called me "as dumb as a monkey" and even one time called me an "ogre."
Shit ultimately hit the metaphorical fan when I was 16, and I discovered (on my 16th birthday, yeah, literally on the day I turned 16) that my mother was cheating on my father. From there, family life spiraled. At the time, I was very angry with my mother, and while I still disagree with how she handled the situation, she was very much a "married-single-mother." She took care of all the household chores, mowed and watered the lawn, walked and fed the dogs, cooked dinner, coached my softball games, attended me and my brother's events, all on top of being a full-time high-school teacher. I can't blame her for trying to seek emotional connection with someone else when none of her emotional needs were being met by her husband.
Now, after my mother's cheating was revealed, my father went off the rails. Especially when he began to notice I quickly reconciled with my mom, and for obvious reasons, chose to live with her. As she was quite literally, the only parent I had. I still had a relationship with my father, but it become tense. It all boiled over a few months later when on Easter, my brother and I came back from my mom's newly minted apartment a few minutes away, to an empty home with pills all over the counter and floor (I'll let you fill in the blanks of what he did). After I called my mom, she called the nearest hospital and found out my father had been taken there to be treated.
This left me scarred emotionally for months, as a few weeks before when I was staying at my father's house alone, he woke 16-year-old me up in the middle of the night and told me to take all his pills away. I'd told no one about it, and kept it to myself out of pure fear and being a child put in a situation beyond her years. After the event, my father refused to speak about it, refused to acknowledge what his actions had done to me and my brother, and as a result, I emotionally disconnected from him completely.
He sensed this disconnection, and instead of trying to apologize or take responsibility, he attacked the relationship with my mother. He did many things like texting me to tell on her, but the most egregious thing he did was show my naked photos of my own mother - including a photo of her vagina - while telling me she was a dirty whore for sending photos to men. From that point, I refused to go over to his house and stay there alone with him. I never told anyone about what he did (at least not for a few years, until I finally told my mother what he'd done when I was 23). We maintained contact, but from that point on the relationship was tanked in my mind. I was only nice and only attended holidays to maintain appearances, and in hindsight, out of fear of his retaliation.
Well, finally, after moving back home from college (to which even failed to congratulate me) I decided I had enough of the niceties and the pageantries, and no longer wanted to deal with him. Ever since I told him I no longer wanted to speak with him or have contact, he's been speaking to almost every member of our family with a sob story, including my maternal grandmother. With each family member he speaks too, all of them call me or text me telling me to "Give him a chance" or to "be fair to him." Each time I tell them I've made my decision, I've been told I'm being an asshole for holding the past over his head. So here we are.
I guess I just wanted to vent and get this off my chest. If you took the time to read, thank you, I really appreciate it :)

,, From John to the seven churches that are in Asia: grace and peace to you from Him who is, and who was, and who is to come; and of the seven spirits which are before His throne; And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful Witness, and the Firstborn from the dead, and the Prince of earthly kings, who loves us, and washes us from our sins with his own blood; And makes us kings and priests to God and his Father; to that glory and country for ever and ever. Amen."
Rev. 1:4-6
John is a witness of Jesus Christ who testifies to the word of God. the testimony of Jesus Christ, and everything that Jesus showed him and he is now sending the testimony, i.e. the Revelation to seven churches in Asia Minor. We can read who John is sending to in verse 11, where we have written the names of the churches to whom John needed the Revelation to be sent.
"And write what you see in a book, and send it to the churches that are in Asia: to Ephesus, and to Smyrna, and to Pergamum, and to Thyatira, and to Sardis, and to Philadelphia, and to Laodicea"
Rev. 1:11
Apart from these churches that are mentioned here, there were other local churches, but the Lord Jesus chose seven representative churches that had different problems that symbolize and represent the period of the church until the coming of the Lord Jesus for it.
In addition to these churches, the Revelation was given to all people, especially the church throughout history, and of course also to us in order to learn the details of the events that will soon begin to unfold, because the signs of the times indicate that... the end times" are near.
"Whoever has an ear should hear what the Spirit is saying to the churches."
Rev. 3:22
Jovan continues with the greeting, "Grace to you and peace" and this greeting is not from him because he cannot give grace and peace, true grace and peace can only be given by God and here practically as if he said, "Grace to you and peace from Lord Jesus Christ" the savior, because salvation and everything we receive from God is at the expense of the Lord Jesus Christ and it is a gift, because none of what we receive is a free gift. How important this word is in the New Testament is also evidenced by the fact that the great many books of the New Testament begin with the words "blessing you and peace" in the greeting sentences.
If there was no grace, practically no one would be alive today because all we deserved was death, but we are alive because of the grace and grace of God and not based on any of our merits or actions.
Everything we have in our physical, physical life is God's grace, and also all spiritual life and salvation is by grace from God whom Peter calls the God of grace.
"And the God of all grace, who calls you to his eternal glory in Christ Jesus"
1 Peter 5:10
"Because you are saved by grace through faith, and it is not from you, it is a gift from God. Not from works, so that no one can boast."
Eph. 2:8-9
We see that we are saved by grace, but that is not the end, we need to continue to grow in grace and in the knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ.
"But progress in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and the salvation of Jesus Christ."
2 Peter 3:18
"Because the grace of God that saves all people has been shown, teaching us to renounce the impiety and desires of this world, and to live honestly and righteously and devoutly in this world."
Titus 2:11-12
Here we have advice for an honest worldly life, and we also have a promise that we will receive grace if we find ourselves in some kind of trouble or perhaps illness.
"My grace is enough for you; for my strength is made perfect in weakness."
2 Cor. 12:9
"Let us therefore approach freely to the throne of grace, to receive grace and find grace for the time when we need help"
Hebrews 4:16
In the context of those advices for an honest life, there is also a Record about to whom God gives grace.
"...for God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble."
1 Peter 5:5
and in Jacob, God adds and says that he gives greater grace than problems
"And He gives a greater grace. Because he says: The Lord opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble."
James 4:6
"Grace to you and peace" here is first grace and then peace, and that is because peace is the result of grace. We get peace when we are in a good relationship with God, which means that we are born again and live according to God's will.
"Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ."
Rom. 5:1
When we have this peace with God, we are safe in God's hands and God will never throw us into hell because of our sins because the Lord Jesus died on the cross to redeem us and make us righteous, it is up to us to trust God, confess our sins and live according to the will of God.
"And I will give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand."
John 10:28
Now that we are this safe and reconciled with God, God gives us another blessing Peace from God and this is something that someone who is not at peace with God will never get, and we need this peace every day in our lives, and we don't think and worry about the daily problems, we already enjoy communion with God who is close to us and who cares for us, we see from the whole verse that we just need to ask in prayer and finally give thanks.
"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, to guard your hearts and your thoughts in the Lord Jesus."
Phil. 4:7
"The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving that your requests may be answered by God."
Phil. 4:6
,,...Grace and peace to you from Him who is, and who was, and who is to come; and of the seven spirits which are before His throne; And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful Witness, and the Firstborn from the dead, and the Prince of earthly kings, who loves us, and washes us from our sins with his own blood; And makes us kings and priests to God and his Father; to that glory and country for ever and ever. Amen."
Rev. 1:4-6
Below we see where grace and peace come from. Grace and peace is not a human creation as many try to portray or try to bring peace in some way through various activities or actions. We saw that grace and then peace come from God, and here we see that three times it is written that they come "from" the Father, from the Son and from the Holy Spirit.
Also in these verses we see that God is eternal because it is written, from Him who is, and who was, and who is to come" and similarly it is written in 4:8
"Holy, holy, holy Lord God Almighty, Who was, and who is, and who is to come."
Rev. 4:8
And now we could say this differently, God who has always been God until now, God who is God now and God who will always be, therefore, eternal God.
Here is another confirmed confirmation of what we said with a slight difference, it does not say "which will come" because here in the 11th chapter events from the future are described which are already here, therefore "future" is at this moment "present" and here we see the confirmation that in the Revelation the future events are still described for us, but John saw them as the present or even the past when they were shown to him, that's why it says "you will be" and not "which will come."
"We praise you, Lord God Almighty, who are, and were, and will be"
Rev. 11:17
Here is something else from the 16th chapter where we see something similar but it is written even in the past tense, that you judged this "so these are events from the time;; when the Lord Jesus came" for us it is still a perspective of the future but for John it was a perspective of the present, this is what today's modern reporters would say, "a report from the scene"
"You are righteous, Lord, who are, and who were, and holy, that you judged this"
Rev. 16:5
It goes on to say,,, and of the seven spirits that are before His throne"
This refers to the Holy Spirit, but it says "seven spirits" because seven is the number of perfection, fullness and completeness. Here, in fact, the fullness of the Holy Spirit is described because in Isaiah it is written about Jesus:
"And the Spirit of the Lord will rest on Him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and power, the spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord."
Isa 11:2
In several other places, the number seven is mentioned in relation to the Holy Spirit.
"And he said to me: What do you see? And I said: I see, behold, a candlestick all of gold, and a cup above it, and its seven jars on it, and seven funnels for the seven jars that are above it, and two olive trees by it, one on the right side of the cup and one from the left. And I spoke to the angel who spoke with me, and I said: What is it, my lord? And the angel who spoke with me answered and said to me: Don't you know what it is? And I said: No, my lord. And he answered and said to me, saying: This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: not by force or by virtue, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of hosts. What are you, great woe, before Zerubbabel? Ravnica; and he will bring out the highest stone, with exclamations: Mercy, mercy to him. And the word of the Lord came to me, saying: Zerubbabel's hands founded this house, his hands will finish it, and you will know that the Lord of hosts has sent me to you. For who has despised the day of small things? Because he will rejoice when he sees the measuring stone in the hand of Zerubbabel, those seven eyes of the Lord that cross the whole earth"
Zechariah 4:2-10
Here, from the sixth verse, we conclude that it is about the Holy Spirit, "not by power or virtue, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of hosts."
"And I saw, and behold, in the middle of the throne and four animals, and in the middle of the elders the Lamb stood as if it had been slain, and it had seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven spirits of God sent throughout the world."
Rev. 5:6
Here we have seven spirits and seven eyes that refer to seven aspects of the work of the Holy Spirit that brings us God's graces, that is why Paul could write in the first Corinthians:
"The gifts are different, but the Spirit is one. And there are different ministries, but the Lord is one. And there are different forces, but there is one God who does everything in everything. And in everyone the Spirit appears for the benefit; For once the word of wisdom is given by the Spirit; and to another the word of understanding by the same Spirit; And to another faith, by that same Spirit; and to another the gift of healing, by that same Spirit; And to another to work miracles, and to another to prophesy, and to another to discern spirits, and to another different languages, and to another to speak in tongues. and he has many members, and all the members of one body, although they are many, they are one body: so is Christ"
1 Cor.12:4-12
"And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful Witness, and the Firstborn from the dead, and the Prince of the kings of the earth"
We have seen the entire Revelation that it is from the Lord Jesus to the church for encouragement, and here it says, "Faithful witness," and that is what the prophet Isaiah prophesied many years before
"Behold, I have given him as a witness to the nations, as a leader and commander to the nations."
Isaiah 55:4
and faithful because God is faithful and he can be unfaithful
,,,, God is not a man to lie, nor a son of man to repent. What does he say he won't do, and what he says he won't do?"
Numb. 23:19
"And so know that the Lord God is your God, a faithful God, who keeps his covenant and his mercy to a thousand knees to those who love him and keep his commandments."
Deut. 7:9
"And he raises the horn of salvation for us in the house of David his servant, as he says through the mouth of his holy prophets from the ages that he will deliver us from our enemies and from the hands of all who hate us; To show mercy to our fathers, and to remind ourselves of our holy covenant, the Curse with which he swore to Abraham our father that he would give us"
Luke 1:69-73
"God is faithful who has called you into the community of his Son Jesus Christ, our Lord."
1 Cor. 1:9
"No other temptation shall come upon you but that of man; but God is faithful, who will not let you be tempted beyond what you are able, but will also make an end with the temptation, so that you can bear it"
1 Cor. 10:13
"He who called you is faithful, and he will do it."
1 Sol. 5:24
And in Revelation it says more
"Thus says Amen, the Faithful and True Witness, the Beginning of God's creation"
Rev. 3:14
The Lord himself practically confirmed that he is faithful and that he came to testify to the truth
"I was born for that, and that's why I came into the world to bear witness to the truth. And everyone who is of the truth listens to my voice"
John 18:37
"and the Firstborn from the dead" here this does not mean that Jesus was the first to be resurrected because we read that there were people who were resurrected before Him but they later died again. Jesus was the first to be resurrected in a glorified body and He more he never did nor will he die, this part of the verse refers to these facts.
,, And this one, since he remains forever, has an eternal priesthood. That is why he can forever save those who come to God through him, when he always lives to be able to pray for them."
Hebrews 7:24-25
"and Prince over earthly kings" prince means ruler. Lord Jesus is ruler and prince from the beginning to the end, from creation to eternity, He is the faithful and true one from eternity, He is the firstborn in the glorified body and He is the eternal ruler and prince , He is King of kings and Lord of lords because he writes.
"And he has his name written on his robe and on his bosom: King of kings and Lord of lords."
Rev. 19:16
"He will rule from sea to sea, and from the river to the ends of the earth."
Psalm 72:8
"All kings will bow down to him, all nations will be submissive to him."
Psalm 72:11
"Who loves us" Jovan continues and says that God loves us permanently and does not say that he loved us, because then that would mean that he once loved us but that he may not love us now for some reason. we would not have permanent security of salvation because it might happen that Jesus returns and God returns at that very moment and we are left behind as they say, "we were unlucky". "so all the time, not sometimes or sometimes. He loves us all the time and that's because of the grace we talked about, we didn't deserve anything, neither salvation, nor the forgiveness of sins, nor life by grace, the only thing we deserved was to throw us into hell and that would be deserved because we do mostly what we shouldn't do. And not only does he not punish us, but makes us emperors and priests.
,, And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful Witness, and the Firstborn from the dead, and the Prince of earthly kings, who loves us, and washes us from our sins with his blood; And makes us kings and priests to God and his Father; to that glory and country for ever and ever. Amen."
Rev. 1:5-6
Jesus loved his own even in the most difficult moments before going to the cross, we read in John:
"And before the Passover, Jesus knowing that the hour had come for Him to pass from this world to the Father, as He loved His own who were in the world, He loves them to the end."
John 13:1
and this greatly impressed Paul, so he wrote:
"That you may understand with all the saints what is the breadth and length and depth and height, And know the love of Christ that surpasses reason, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."
Eph. 3:18-19
and this love of Jesus cannot be understood by human thinking, this is God's love that surpasses every mind.
"Because I know for sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor present, nor future, nor height, nor depth, nor any other substance can separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus , to our Lord."
Rom. 8:28-39
"And wash us from our sins in your blood" unlike a while ago where it is written in permanent time, now we have a part that has been completed in the past and that is finally there are no more new washings, once all the work Jesus finished and that happened on the cross of Golgotha ​​where we are redeemed once and for all by the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. Of course, we need daily cleansing in the form of confession of sin, but not complete washing.
,, Jesus said to him: He who has been washed should not wash only his feet, because he is all clean; and you are clean, ..."
John 13:10
"And the blood of Jesus Christ, His Son, cleanses us from all sin."
1 John 1:7
So the blood of Jesus cleanses us from every sin and God will never mention what he cleansed again.
"And their sins and their iniquities I will no longer mention."
Hebrews 10:17
"And make us kings and priests to God and our Father" of course this is also by grace because this is unimaginable for us humans. We know what we are like and what we like to do, but still God does not deal with us according to our mistakes but makes us kings and priests.
"And you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy people, a people of gain, to announce the benefactors of the One who called you out of darkness to his strange light"
1 Peter 2:9
We therefore became the emperor's priests and now we all have direct access to God based on the merits of the Lord Jesus, unlike the people in the Old Testament where only the high priest had access to God once a year in the Holy of Holies and he did not have that access without a sacrifice that he had to make sacrifices.
For us, that sacrifice is the Lord Jesus Christ, and based on that sacrifice, we have constant access to God.
"To him glory and the country forever and ever." Amen." And now at the end, John wants to say that eternal glory, praise and power belong to Him who has given us so much grace and grace.

TLDR: Abusive narcissist Ndad attempts reconciliation, while feeling deeply nauseated I don't know how to reject and set boundaries.
Recently, I experienced a triggering event when my narcissistic father purchased an item for me that I had specifically asked my grandmother to buy. Currently residing with my Chinese grandparents, who are the parents of my father, amplifies the complexity of the situation.
The interference in my life, especially with this recent purchase, feels like a calculated move to manipulate and pressure me. It seems he's disregarding his past behavior and expecting reconciliation while ignoring harm he's inflicted. This disregard for my emotions leaves me feeling isolated and unsupported.
N father's behavior is characterized by invasiveness and narcissism, as evidenced by his attempts to control those around him. His history of domestic violence only serves to confirm his extreme narcissistic traits, including jealousy and insecurity. Given the danger I feel in his presence, I am adamant about avoiding any engagement with him.
The societal pressure to maintain the appearance of a harmonious parent-child relationship, particularly when imposed by other family members, is something I vehemently reject. The thought of reconciling with someone who has inflicted harm upon me fills me with disgust and resistance.
I refuse to accept gifts from him or engage in discussions about our relationship under the pretense of reconciliation, especially when it serves his own self-serving agenda. In this family dynamic, my feelings are continuously invalidated unless they align with his interests. I refuse to be manipulated or treated as a pawn in his game.
How do I reject his advances and maintain my emotional well-being? His interference in my life is nauseating. I do not know how I can distance myself from them. Advice would be greatly appreciated.
(I used AI to organize my words. I am simply too unstable to explain what happened myself. As I was already in a depressed state earlier in the day, after entering my room, hearing their words of talking about the unrequested purchase i was immensely triggered. A wave of helplessness and futility hit me. With anger and helplessness i conducted self mutilating actions, without any second thoughts after i clutched the item and returned to my room. This only emphasizes the agency and my hopelessness of the situation.) I feel fucking sick and disgusted to be approached, meanwhile having no power to reject their engagements. I feel futile. I also feel very invalidated, please support me.
A bit more information about myself: Im 17, i live with my grandparents in China (whist my previous residence in North America). I don;t want to get too deep into it because of the complication of the situation. In short words I am not independent.

TLDR: Abusive narcissist Ndad attempts reconciliation, while feeling deeply nauseated I don't know how to reject and set boundaries.
Recently, I experienced a triggering event when my narcissistic father purchased an item for me that I had specifically asked my grandmother to buy. Currently residing with my Chinese grandparents, who are the parents of my father, amplifies the complexity of the situation.
His interference in my life, especially with this recent purchase, feels like a calculated move to manipulate and pressure me. It seems he's disregarding his past behavior and expecting reconciliation while ignoring harm he's inflicted. This disregard for my emotions leaves me feeling isolated and unsupported.
N father's behavior is characterized by invasiveness and narcissism, as evidenced by his attempts to control those around him. His history of domestic violence only serves to confirm his extreme narcissistic traits, including jealousy and insecurity. Given the danger I feel in his presence, I am adamant about avoiding any engagement with him.
The societal pressure to maintain the appearance of a harmonious parent-child relationship, particularly when imposed by other family members, is something I vehemently reject. The thought of reconciling with someone who has inflicted harm upon me fills me with disgust and resistance.
I refuse to accept gifts from him or engage in discussions about our relationship under the pretense of reconciliation, especially when it serves his own self-serving agenda. In this family dynamic, my feelings are continuously invalidated unless they align with his interests. I refuse to be manipulated or treated as a pawn in his game.
How do I reject his advances and maintain my emotional well-being? His interference in my life is nauseating. I do not know how I can distance myself from them. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
(I used AI to organize my words. I am simply too unstable to explain what happened myself. As I was already in a depressed state earlier in the day, after entering my room, hearing their words of talking about the unrequested purchase i was immensely triggered. A wave of helplessness and futility hit me. With anger and helplessness i conducted self mutilating actions.This only emphasizes the agency and my hopelessness of the situation.)

DISCLAIMER: Sorry this is a day late. I ended up having to rewrite half of this. Still, I hope you enjoy. After this, I'll be going on my hiatus. So I hope you like this last little bit of Roo-family cuteness. Thank you all and keep on keepin' on!
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Special thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for creating the NoP universe.
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I'd also like to thank u/xskipy10 for their awesome fanart of the main cast as well as their recent Tohba meme and their fanart of Michael baysitting. You're work is a treasure!
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Thank you as well to u/Accomplished-Golf-59 for his take on Michael, Teylim, and Tohba in his submission for the Banner Art Contest, and u/Spacer_Catgirl4969 for their awesome music video featuring a pixel-art Dohkar in his bar. Be sure to give ALL of these awesome creators your love and support.
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And let's not forget u/Guywhoexists2812 who has been an awesome source of memes as well as sick pixel art, such as THIS and THIS!!!! And even THIS!!!!!! And how could I forget THIS!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much!
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Today, we see all the reasons Teylim has to keep going in the face of adversity. For when all is said and done, love truly does conquer all. LETTUCE...begin...
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Original Story
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[Accessing Camera Function…]
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[Accessing Saved Recordings Function…]
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[Play Selected Recording?: Y/N…]
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[Playing Recording!]
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[The camera opens up on a female Yotul with a satchel over her shoulder. She is walking backwards down a paved walkway while looking up at the person holding the camera…]
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“Alright! Soooo…here we are in… Michael tell us where we are!”
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[The person holding the camera gives an audible sigh…]
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“Do I have to, Tey?”
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“Yes! Come on, it’ll be fun!”
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[Another audible sigh is heard before the person begins panning the camera around the surrounding cityscape…]
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“We are in the beautiful, literally ALWAYS sunny capital of Dayside City!”
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“And what would you say we’re doing here in Dayside City?”
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“We were just at the Public Records building getting our paperwork verified.”
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[The Yotul woman is seen reaching into her satchel and pulling out a leaflet of documents…]
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“Oh! You mean THIS paperwork? Hmmm… I wonder what these might say… Mind helping me here?”
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“Seriously?”
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[The Yotul doesn’t answer, instead shoving the documents directly into the camera. Another, more amused-sounding sigh is heard…]
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“It says that your name has been officially changed to ‘Teylim Andrews.’”
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“Mmmmhmmm. And what about this one?”
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“That one says that Tohba’s name has been officially changed to ‘Tohba Andrews.’”
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“Aaaand why do you suppose that is?”
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[A shuffling sound is heard and the camera shifts as the person holding it pulls out their own papers…]
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“Probably because according to MY paperwork, while we’re still waiting for my Application of Citizenship to go through, I, Michael Ruiz Andrews, am now the full, legal, son of one, Teylim Andrews-”
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“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!!!!!”
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[The Yotul woman darts forward, wrapping the person holding the camera in a hug. The camera is set on the ground and the face of the person is now visible. The two hold their embrace, rocking back and forth…]
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“I love you so much, my joey…”
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“Love you too, Ma…”
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[Recording Ceases…]
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[Play Next Recording?: Y/N…]
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[Playing Recording!]
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[The camera opens on a small kitchen area where two beings are sat eating. On the left, a male Yotul infant in a high chair is munching away at a human food identified as “Cheerios” spread across his tray. On the right, a male human idly stirs at a bowl of cereal while tapping away at a datapad…]
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[Eventually, after munching down another “Cheerio”, the infant catches a glimpse at the human and stares for approximately one second before his tail begins wagging…]
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“Mikey?”
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[The humans attention is broken away from their datapad and immediately focuses on the infant…]
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“Yeah, Bud?”
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“I WUV YOOOUUU.”
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[The infant’s sing-song voice seems to make the human smile before he leans forward, planting a “kiss” on top of the infant’s head…]
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“MmmMUAH! Te amo, mi hermanito.”
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“Whaz dat mean?”
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“It means, ‘I love you, Little Brother’. Want me to teach you?”
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“Hmmmmm… OKAY!”
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“Okay.”
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[The human chuckles slightly before scooting his chair in…]
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“Okay, so when you want to tell someone you love them, you say, ‘Te amo.’ Okay?”
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[The infant gives a curious ear flick…]
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“Teeeh…Mo?”
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“Close! Here. Repeat after me. Te…”
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“Teeh…”
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“Ah…”
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“Aaahh…”
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“Mo…”
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“Moh!”
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“Te…ah…mo…”
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“Teeh…aaahh…mo!”
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“Okay! All together now. Te amo.”
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“¡TE AMO!”
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[The human excitedly gets up from his seat and embraces the infant…]
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“YES!!! You did it! Awesome job, Bud!”
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“YAAAAYYY!!!! ¡TE AMO, MIKEY!”
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“MMMUAH!! ¡Te amo, precioso hermanito!”
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[The camera jitters slightly and a muffled giggling is heard. The human turns to face the camera…]
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“Ma? What are you- Have you been recording this whole time?”
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“Just a little!”
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“Must you record everything?”
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“As a matter of fact, yes!”
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“MAMA!!”
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[The camera zooms in on the excited infant…]
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“Hello, Precious! Is your big brother teaching you Spanish?”
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“UH-HUH!! ¡TE AMO, MAMA!”
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“Ooooh, that is just ADORABLE! Can you teach him to say ‘Mama’ in Spanish, too?”
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[The camera pans over to the human, who raises an eyebrow. After a moment, the human smirks and gives an exaggerated shrug while shaking his head…]
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“No tengo que hacerlo. Él ya lo sabe, mamá.”
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“Pffft! Smart aleck.”
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[Recording Ceases…]
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[Play Next Recording?: Y/N…]
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[Playing Recording!]
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[The camera opens up facing a pair of beds in a small room. On one bed, a female Yotul is sat with her infant in her lap as a male human walks into frame carrying a brightly wrapped gift box…]
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“Merry Late Christmas, guys!”
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“Merry Christmas, Michael!”
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“Mewwy Kwizmuz, Mikey!”
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[The human kneels down and hands the infant the gift box…]
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“Sorry this gift is a bit last minute, but I managed to grab it while I was out with ‘Nel the other day.”
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“I’m sure it’ll be perfect, Michael.”
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“I hope so. Go on, Bud. Open it! It’s for you!”
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“OKAY!!!”
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[The infant rips away at the brightly-colored paper, and with help from his mother, lifts off the lid. The infant then excitedly starts bouncing up and down and reaches into the box, pulling out a bright-red plush…]
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“WED TIWFISH!!!!!!”
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“Oh, Michael! How? When?”
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“I had to ask around online if anyone else had plushies from the aquarium ship, and I managed to find a guy here in Dayside. There’s…still a lot of things we lost at the house that need to be replaced, but I figured this would be a good start…”
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“It’s perfect.”
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[The three embrace and hold it for several seconds before pulling back…]
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“BUT! I’m not done with gifts just yet.”
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“What?”
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“Here. Mind handing me your pad?”
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“Sure?”
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[The Yotul hands the human her datapad as he pulls a small drive from his pocket and plugs it in. After a moment, he smiles and sits down on the bed next to the Yotul. She is then seen gasping and covering her mouth with her paws…]
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“Michael…”
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“I overheard you on the phone with Aunty Triv, talking about how you wish you had some pictures of me when I was younger…”
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“How on Liern-”
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“It’s…a long story. When I was first taken into foster care after getting rescued, I was assigned a social worker to help me adjust. And after I got situated with Dad, he stayed and helped us out from time to time. He basically became like an uncle to me after a while. And since Dad didn’t really have any other family, whenever he wanted to share pictures of me growing up, he’d send a copy to my social worker. I’ve…been back in contact with him for a little while now, and it turns out he kept them.”
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“Oh, Michael…”
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[The Yotul and human lean against each other and embrace…]
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“I love you, Ma.”
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“I love you too, my joey.
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[Still leaning against each other, they begin to swipe at the pad, presumably looking through pictures. After a few swipes, The Yotul begins chuckling hysterically…]
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“Aaaawwweee…”
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“Crap, I forgot about that one!”
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“Who’z dat?”
​
“That’s…me, Bud.”
​
[The infant looks at the image for a while, still holding the bright red plush…]
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“Teeheehee!! Fuzzy Mikey!”
​
“Can we please just swipe to the next one?”
​
“Wait. I’ve seen those kinds of human garments before! Aren’t those for…LITTLE…little joeys?”
​
“Look, I was a very emotionally stunted kid and I just thought they were comfy, alright?”
​
“This is SO going on the desk.”
​
“Please no. Any of them but that one.”
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“Nope! It’s already decided!”
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“YAAYYY! FUZZY MIKEY!”
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“God, ‘Nel’s never gonna let me live this down…”
​
[Recording Ceases…]
​
Memory Transcript Subject: Teylim Andrews, Yotul Accountant And Loving Mother Of Two
​
Date:[Standardized Human Time] February 1, 2137
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[Warning: REM Sleep Detected: Transcript May Be Fragmented Or Incomplete…]
​
Crrreeeeaak…
​
My eyes slowly squint open as the noise rouses me from sleep. I let out a yawn before looking for the source of the noise. I’m…back in my house… Sitting upright, I see that my door’s been opened, beaming The Dayside’s permanent daylight into my room. I was confused for a moment. The only other person here that would be here is-
​
“Uuuuhhmm… M-Mrs. Teylim?”
​
I looked down, and spotted the culprit.
​
Standing in the doorway was a small human child, cradling my Tohba in his arms. He was silhouetted from the daylight behind him, the light beaming past his adorable onesie pajamas creating a small blue outline around him, matching his eyes.
​
Strange. For some reason, I thought he was taller…
​
“Michael, sweetie? What’s the matter?”
​
Still carrying Tohba, Michael made his way over to the bed.
​
“Uuuhhhmmm… Tohba h-had a n-nightmare…”
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“Ooohh, is that so?”
​
Something definitely didn’t add up. As he gently handed Tohba over to me, he certainly didn’t seem to be having a nightmare. In fact, even now he was still sleeping peacefully.
​
Michael, on the other paw, was DEFINITELY out of sorts. He was nervous, fidgeting, wrapped up in a self-hug, and even now, refused to even look at me. Whether that was because of his nervousness or if he was still convinced I was afraid of him had yet to be seen.
​
Stupid, ridiculous, Federation dogma…
​
I could tell he wasn’t being honest with me. Ordinarily, I would’ve been upset about him lying, and even more so about him disturbing Tohba, but looking at him now, I knew what he needed now wasn’t a scolding.
​
“Michael, you know you can be honest with me. Was it really Tohba who had the nightmare?”
​
I heard him nervously gulp as he tightened the self-hug around himself. After a moment, he shook his head.
​
“Mm’mm…”
​
I gave a tired, but loving sigh before holding out my free arm.
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“Come here.”
​
With some hesitation, he stepped closer, allowing me to pull him into a hug. Michael had a lot of issues. From what I learned from his social worker, he’d been terribly abused by his previous mother and he’d lost his father only a few years after moving in with him. And now, with Earth under attack, he simply didn’t have anywhere else to go.
​
It will take a long time before he’s fully comfortable living here, I know that. I’m still not even entirely sure if I’m what he needs. I still wonder if I know what I’m doing when it comes to just raising Tohba. Even so, I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t try. He deserves a home, and a mother who loves him. All children do.
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“I'm sorry for lying…”
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“Ssshhh… It’s alright. Do you want to talk about it?”
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“It was…the one with the scary fire people…”
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Oh…THAT dream…
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Exterminators.
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“I don’t want them to come… I don’t want them to-“
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“It’s okay, joey. They won’t get you here.”
​
“No! That’s not… That’s not what I’m scared of…”
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I pulled back slightly, allowing myself to look directly at him. He sniffles and sobbed while trying to wipe away tears.
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“You’re all so nice to me… \sniff** I…I-I don’t want the fire people to hurt you… I sh-shouldn’t be here…”
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My heart broke in two. This poor child had already lost so much. It only made sense that he’d be afraid of losing us too.
​
I cupped his face in my paw, wiping away his tears.
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“Michael Ruiz Andrews, I don’t care what you might have heard, but you have every RIGHT to be here. And if those scary people out there think they can come and take us away from you, they’re wrong. I will never let us be separated. You hear me?”
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“. . .P-promise?”
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“With all my heart. You’re MY joey now, and I won’t let anyone take you away from me.”
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At last, Michael finally unwrapped himself from his self-hug and instead wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my fur.
​
After a while of holding him, he’d finally calmed down enough to speak again.
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“C-can I…sleep here tonight?”
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Your joey needs you.
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Yes.
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“Of course.”
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With some effort, he climbed up onto the bed and curled up next to me. I knew I most likely wouldn’t be getting anymore sleep, but that was fine. Just laying here, holding my boys in my arms. That was enough.
​
One after the other, I gave both my joeys a lick on the forehead.
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“Goodnight my joeys. I love you.”
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“Wuv…you…Ma…ma…”
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“. . .Love you too...Mom…”
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I love my boys. I love my family. I love…my life…
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[Transcript Time Progression: 4 hours…]
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Beebeebeebeep! Beebeebeebeep! Beebeebeebeep!
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[Warning: Subject Regaining Consciousness…]
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My entire body protested as I twisted and turned over to tap the alarm on my nightstand. My claw slapped blindly at it until finally, the agitating alarm was silenced. My eyes squinted open, revealing…I was back in our motel room…
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Well…a girl can dream, can’t she?
​
It was a pleasant dream, I’ll give it that. As I sat up, I let my legs dangle off the side of the bed as I stretched myself out and let out a yawn. Once my eyes had fully opened, and the fog had been blinked away, I was immediately met with a sight that warmed my heart to no end. My still fast asleep, and back to being tall, new son, curled up with his baby brother on the other bed.
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Precious boys. MY precious boys.
​
I did my best to remember if Michael had anything scheduled with Khornel for this paw, but nothing came to mind. He’d been working so hard lately, helping to keep us above water. Now that he wasn’t a refugee anymore, we were no longer receiving stipends from the program, which meant from here on out, keeping the bills paid was much more difficult. And that’s not even mentioning having to put aside anything we can to be able to eventually have the house rebuilt.
​
I kept trying for a while, I still couldn’t remember anything. For the first time in a decent while, he had a paw off.
​
Good. I’ll leave him be then. He’s earned some rest.
​
I let out one more yawn, before getting up. Unfortunately, while Michael didn’t have to work this paw, I wasn’t so fortunate. Thankfully, my recent injuries allowed me to continue to work from home instead of going out to the physical office. After one last stretch, I let myself slide off the bed.
​
I had to give myself a moment once I was upright. While my previously broken leg had healed for the most part, I still needed to be careful of how much weight I put on it. Once I was ready, I began walking to our small kitchen area. The fridge was nearly empty. I’d need to go to the store soon.
​
Thank goodness we’re staying in Soulroot, where literally EVERYTHING is expensive…
​
After cutting up some leftover fruit and strayu for myself, I went back to my desk. It was impossible to not notice the small stack of colorful books on the ground next to it. They were human kid’s books donated from the embassy here in Soulroot. Tohba would be ready to start going to school in just a few short cycles…
​
Will we be able to get out of here and back into our house before then?
​
Sitting down at my desk and booting up my pad, I found it hard to stay focused. There was still so much to do, so much to worry about. Before, when I was feeling overwhelmed, I’d have Loh, Dohkar, or Trivah there for me. With them around, it always helped things feel more manageable. But now…now I was alone again. Loh was gone. Dohkar and Trivah were stuck on the other side of that damned fence…
​
What are we going to do?
​
My head lowered. I stared blankly at the desk, partly wishing I could look through it at ANYTHING other than my work.
​
But then, there was a glint, just out of the corner of my eye…
​
I looked up, and saw something that I couldn’t help but smile at, something that even when I’m feeling low, reminds me why I have to keep going.
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I reach out…and grab the two small frames off the corner of my desk and hold them in front of me. In my left paw, wass a framed picture of Tohba, the paw he was born. So small. So precious. So perfect. And in my right, was another picture. It was my new favorite picture.
​
A small, human child…in fuzzy, blue, onesie pajamas that matched his eyes.
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My Michael. Still so small.
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These two pictures. My boys. The villains outside could take everything else. So long as I have my boys, I will always have a reason to keep going.
​
I love my boys… I love my family… I love my life…
​
The End

Just spent the last several hours writing this for myself in preparation for teaching Sunday School this upcoming Sunday. Thought I'd share it here too for anyone interested. (I didn't cite my outside sources, besides scriptures, because I was just writing these notes for myself. But it pulls from various places of research that I can point you to if interested, especially from Scripture Central.)

Mosiah 11-17: Abinadi

Abinadi has a tremendous impact on the rest of the Book of Mormon and the religious history of the Nephites and Lamanites. He converted Alma the Elder, whose personal ministry and the ministries of his descendants (Alma the Younger, Helaman, Shiblon, Corianton, Helaman II, Nephi II, Lehi, Nephi III, Timothy, Jonas, Nephi IV, Amos the Elder, Amos the Younger, Ammaron) convert 1000s to the gospel, and lead the Church all the way to the visitation of Christ to the Americas and afterwards until Mormon.
In the order it is presented (shortly after Mosiah 1-6), we see a direct parallel between:

• King Benjamin (reign ended in 130 BC) of Zarahemla as a righteous king who labored with his own hands (and not off the work of his people) and taught them in the ways of righteousness; and
• King Noah (died sometime between 145-122 BC) of Shilom as a wicked king who exploited labor and wealth from his people and taught them wickedness.

Mormon, when abridging the Record of Zeniff, frames the story of King Noah of Shilom and Abinadi specifically as a parallel to Pharaoh of Egypt (another wicked king) and Moses.

Mosiah 11:1-19

Pharaoh & Moses	Noah & Abinadi
Pharaoh, as a new king, moves away from the traditions of his father (Ex. 1:8)	King Noah does not walk in the ways of his father (Mosiah 11:1-2)
Pharaoh subjects the Jews (Ex. 1:13-14)	King Noah subjects his people (Mosiah 11:1-15)
Pharaoh installs wise men and sorcerers (Ex. 7:11)	King Noah installs wicked priests (Mosiah 11:5)

Note that the emphasis of "one fifth part" in v. 3 is repeated five times: an instance of "thematic repetition", a Hebraism that is meant to emphasize a specific theme. In this case, it emphasizes the heaviness of the burden placed on the people that this 20% net worth tax represented.
According to the Law of Moses, there was only supposed to be one high priest (Leviticus 21:10). However, v. 11 says that Noah had consecrated "high priests"; he was abusing and corrupting the Law of Moses for his benefit and the benefit of his friends.

Mosiah 11:20-25

Abinadi, "a man among them" (someone who lived among them), then comes forth to prophesy and preach against the people. He has clearly, with direction from the Lord, prepared a specific statement that is supposed to preached. This preparation is evident in its chiasmic form:

• A. Behold, thus saith the Lord, and thus hath he commanded me, saying, Go forth, and say unto this people, thus saith the Lord—Wo be unto this people,
  • B. for I have seen their abominations, and their wickedness, and their whoredoms;
    • C. and except they repent I will visit them in mine anger.
      • D. And except they repent and turn to the Lord their God,
        • E. behold, I will deliver them into the hands of their enemies;
        • E. and none shall deliver them,
      • D. except it be the Lord the Almighty God.
    • C. Yea, and it shall come to pass that when they shall cry unto me I will be slow to hear their cries; yea, and I will suffer them that they be smitten by their enemies. And except they repent in sackcloth and ashes, and cry mightily to the Lord their God,
  • B. I will not hear their prayers, neither will I deliver them out of their afflictions;
• A. and thus saith the Lord, and thus hath he commanded me.

The beginning and end of his message are also filled with prophetic speech forms common throughout the Old Testament and recognized by those familiar with Hebrew culture or descending from Hebrew culture (like the people of Shilom):

• "Thus saith the Lord" (Messenger Form)
• "Thus hath he commanded me, saying" (Revelation Form)
• "Go forth, and say unto this people, thus saith the Lord" (Messenger Form)
• "Wo be unto this people" (Woe Oracle)

After this initial message is delivered, we then see more parallels (purposely framed by the abridger, Mormon) between Moses and Abinadi:

Pharaoh & Moses	Noah & Abinadi
Moses initially flees for his life since Pharaoh seeks to slay him (Ex. 2:15)	Abinadi initially escapes when the people and King Noah seek to slay him (Ex. Mosiah 11:26,28)
Pharaoh rejects the Lord's authority, saying, "Who is the Lord..." (Ex. 5:2)	King Noah rejects the Lord's authority, saying, "Who is the Lord..."
Pharaoh hardens his heart (Ex. 7:13, JST)	King Noah hardens his heart (Mosiah 11:29)
Moses is commanded by the Lord to return from exile and preach to Pharaoh (Ex. 7:1-2)	Abinadi is commanded to return from exile and preach to the people (Mosiah 12:1)

Mosiah 12:1-17

After two years, Abinadi returns to the city by commandment of the Lord to preach unto the people. There is a possibility that he returned to preach specifically at the celebration of Pentecost. The Pentecost was, prior to the New Testament, a Jewish yearly celebration of the giving of the Ten Commandments to Moses and the chidlren of Israel. Such a gathering would have given Abinadi an audience for his preaching, and its themes align with the themes of Abinadi's message (as we will see).
We start by illustrating more parallels between Moses and Abinadi:

Pharaoh & Moses	Noah & Abinadi
Upon returning to Pharoah, Moses prophesies of and delivers a series of plagues (including famine, pestilence, hail, fire, insects) unless Pharaoh repents (Ex. 7-10)	Upon returning to Shilom, Abinadi prophesies of a series of plagues (including famine, pestilence, hail, fire, insects) unless the people repent (Mosiah 12:1-8)
Because of the afflictions, Pharoah will eventually acknowledge the Lord (Ex. 7:5,17)	Because of the afflictions, King Noah will eventually acknowledge the Lord (Mosiah 12:3)
Moses challenges the wise men and sorcerers of Pharaoh (Ex. 7:8-12)	Abinadi challenges the wicked priests of King Noah (Mosiah 12:25-29)

Again, this language is filled with strong prophetic speech forms, this time a Hebraism known as the "simile curse": * "the life of king Noah shall be valued even as a garment in a hot furnace" (v. 3) * "thou shalt be as a stalk, even as a dry stalk of the field, which is run over by the beasts and trodden under foot" (v. 11) * "thou shalt be as the blossoms of a thistle, which, when it is fully ripe, if the wind bloweth, it is driven forth upon the face of the land" (v. 12)
When the people bind Abinadi and take him before the king, they tell King Noah about all of the curses–including a prophesy of their future bondage–Abinadi has placed upon King Noah and the people if they do not repent. In justifying their iniquities and dismissing Abinadi's charges, they say, "And now, O king, behold, we are guiltless, and thou, O king, hast not sinned; this man has lied concerning you, and he has prophesied in vain. And behold, we are strong, we shall not come into bondage, or be taken captive by our enemies; yea, and thou has prospered in the land, and thou shalt also prosper" (Mosiah 12:15).
They are citing (and misapplying) as justification the promise that Lehi received from the Lord: "Inasmuch as those whom the Lord God shall bring out of the land of Jerusalem shall keep his commandments, they shall prosper upon the face of this land; and they shall be kept from all other nations, that they may possess this land unto themselves. And if it so be that they shall keep his commandments they shall be blessed upon the face of this land, and there shall be none to molest them, nor to take away the land of their inheritance; and they shall dwell safely forever" (2 Nephi 1:9). Remember, the people of Limhi (this people living in Shilom) left Zarahemla and returned to the land of the first inheritance, where Nephi landed–they see themselves as the inheritors of Lehi's promise.
The Lord's promise is that if the people together are righteous, then they as a people together shall prosper. However, these people speaking to Noah apply it individually to Noah, essentially saying, "If you personally have prospered, according to this promise of the Lord, then you personally must be righteous. Thus, according to the previous promises of the Lord, there is no way we can be led into bondage and Abinadi must be lying." Not only is this a misapplication of logic (A implying B does not necessarily mean that B implies A), it is a misunderstanding of the blessing: the Lord's promise was not about individuals (since sometimes righteous individuals are poor), but about societies that will be collectively righteous.
(Note that I'm not saying the Lord doesn't also prosper righteous individuals; this happens sometimes too. I'm saying that Lehi's promise was to his descendants as a people, to the Nephites and/or Lamanites as a society, not to Lehi or Nephi specifically.)
In contrast, extreme wealth inequality and the prospering of only a few individuals in a society–like that seen under King Noah–is actually a sign of wickedness (as preached by many Old Testament, Book of Mormon, and New Testament prophets).

Mosiah 12:18 - 13:26

Just as Moses challenged the power, knowledge, and authority of the wise men and sorcerers of Pharaoh, Abinadi directly challenges the power, knowledge, and authority of the wicked priests of King Noah.
The ordeal is started when, after being imprisoned for his prophecies against the people, the priests of King Noah tell the king to bring Abinadi before him so that they may question him. Their questioning starts by quoting Isaiah 52:7-10 to Abinadi, and asking him what those words mean:
"How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings; that publisheth peace; that bringeth good tidings of good; that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion, Thy God reigneth;
Thy watchmen shall lift up the voice; with the voice together shall they sing; for they shall see eye to eye when the Lord shall bring again Zion;
Break forth into joy; sing together ye waste places of Jerusalem; for the Lord hath comforted his people, he hath redeemed Jerusalem;
The Lord hath made bare his holy arm in the eyes of all the nations, and all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our God?"
Why these words? The people of Zeniff (the generation before the people of King Noah) left the land of Zarahemla to return back up to the land of Nephi – Shilom was in the mountains and hills, as compared to where they had lived before. In essence, these wicked priests were saying, "Why are you preaching that we are a wicked people when the scriptures call our feet beautiful? We are preaching good tidings unto the people – we teach them the law of Moses. Why all of this doom-and-gloom that you preach? You are clearly in the wrong for calling us to repentance."
Abinadi then begins his challenge: "Are you priests, and pretend to teach this people, and to understand the spirit of prophesying, and yet desire to know of me what these things mean?" (12:25). This then becomes the theme of his challenge to them: the priests do not understand the scriptures, especially the Law of Moses, and Abinadi is going to explain the scriptures and the law of Moses to them.
He asks them, "What teach ye this people?" (12:27).
They answer, "The Law of Moses" (12:28). Again, Moses and the law given to him are a theme of this interaction between Abinadi and the priests of King Noah. In total, the name "Moses" is used 16 times from Mosiah 12:28-16:15, 15 of which are by Abinadi and 1 of which is by the abridger, Mormon.
Abinadi replies, "If ye teach the law of Moses, why do ye not keep it?" (12:29) and then proceeds to list their sins, especially pride, wealth-seeking, sexual immorality, and leading the people astray.
Abinadi then challenges them again: "And what know ye concerning the law of Moses? Doth salvation come by the law of Moses? What say ye?" (12:31).
The priests respond that salvation does come by the law of Moses.
Abinadi then says, "I know if ye keep the commandments of God ye shall be saved; yea, if ye keep the commandments which the Lord delivered unto Moses in the mount of Sinai, saying..." (12:33) and then quotes two of the Ten Commandments. If Abinadi came at the time of Pentecost, then this is the exact occasion these people are celebrating: the time when the Lord delivered unto Moses the commandments at Sinai. Thus, Abinadi would be referencing the festival, in essence, saying, "Don't you remember the whole point of this party you are throwing right now? You are forgetting why we have this festival in the first place."
The king then, being angry with Abinadi, tells his priests to slay Abinadi, but Abinadi withstands them, saying, "Touch me not, for God shall smite you if ye lay your hands upon me, for I have not delivered the message which the Lord sent me to deliver; neither have I told you that which ye requested that I should tell [referring to the requested interpretation of Isaiah 52:7-10]; therefore, God will not suffer that I shall be destroyed at this time" (13:3).
Then, Mormon records that "the people of king Noah durst not lay their hands on [Abinadi], for the Spirit of the Lord was upon him; and his face shone with exceeding luster, even as Moses' did while in the mount of Sinai, while speaking with the Lord" (13:5). (Again, this is a powerful and divine reference to the events being celebrated at the Pentecost festival. Now, it isn't just Abinadi or Mormon drawing the parallels to Moses: God Himself, by resting that light upon Abinadi, is writing the parallel.)
And with power and authority, he then reads to them "the remainder of the [ten] commandments of God". The Ten Commandments "are not written in [the priests'] hearts", because instead of studying and teaching the scriptures as they ought to have been, they "have studied and taught iniquity the most part of [their] lives" (13:11).
Once more, we see more parallels between Moses and Abinadi:

Pharaoh & Moses	Noah & Abinadi
Moses' face shines when he came down from Sinai with the two tables of testimony from the Lord for the people of Israel (Ex. 34:29-30)	Abinadi's face shines as he delivers his message to King Noah and his priests (Mosiah 13:5)
The people of Israel are afraid to approach Moses because his face shines (Ex. 34:30)	The priests of King Noah are afraid to lay their hands on him because of his words and because his face shines (Mosiah 13:5)
Moses delivers the Ten Commandments (Ex. 20, 34)	Abinadi delivers the Ten Commandments (Mosiah 12:35-36, 13:12-24)
Moses speaks to a stiff-necked people (Ex. 32:9)	Abinadi speaks to a stiff-necked people (Mosiah 13:29)

Abinadi finishes delivering the Ten Commandments by saying, "Have ye taught this people that they should observe to do all these things for to keep these commandments? I say unto you, Nay" (13:25-26).

Mosiah 13:27-35

Abinadi then starts to lay the seeds that connect the law of Moses (and perhaps the Pentecost festival) and the passages from Isaiah he was asked about earlier. After reciting to them the Law of Moses, he reminds the priests of their earlier statement that salvation comes by the law of Moses:
"And now ye have said that salvation cometh by the law of Moses [part of which he just read to them]; I say unto you that it is expedient that ye should keep the law of Moses as yet; but I say unto you that the time shall come when it shall no more be expedient to keep the law of Moses.
And moreover, I say unto you, that salvation doth not come by the law alone; and were it not for the atonement which God himself shall make for the sins and iniquities of his people that they must unavoidably perish, notwithstanding the law of Moses" (13:27-28)
In addition to the Ten Commandments, the Law of Moses required a series of strict ordinances, rituals, and observances that had to be kept strictly. One of these was the atonement sacrifice: a person would present a sacrificial animal, one without blemish, to be killed; the animal symbolically took the sins of the person and was killed on their behalf, reconciling the individual back to Jehovah. The person made an atonement sacrifice.
Therefore, Abinadi is saying that this strict law means nothing, unless God Himself offers an atoning sacrifice, something that is so great it will cover the sins of all his people, not just one person and not just for one sin but for all sins.
In Abinadi's words, the law of Moses and all its ordinances "were types of things to come" (13:31): they were a symbol pointing forward to the great atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ.
He then says that the children of Israel and the Jews in Jerusalem did also not understand the law "and this because of the hardness of their hearts" (13:32), implying that the priests of King Noah also do not understand the Law of Moses.
"For behold, did not Moses prophecy unto them concerning the coming of the Messiah, and that God should redeem his people? Yea, and even all the prophets who have prophesied ever since the world began–have they not spoken more or less concerning these things?
Have they not said that God himself should come down amng the children of men, and take upon him the form of man, and go forth in mighty power upon the face of the earth?
Yea, and have they not said also that he should bring to pass the resurrection of the dead, and that he, himself, should be oppressed and afflicted?" (13:33-35).

Mosiah 14 - 15:31

Now Abinadi starts to turn back more directly to answer the previous question posed by the priests concerning the meaning of Isaiah 52:7-10. Of course, what is a great technique for understanding a passage? You look at its context. So, what does Abinadi do to explain the meaning of Isaiah 52? He recites to them the content of Isaiah 53, a Messianic prophecy:
"Yea, even doth not Isaiah say: Who hath believed our report, and to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed?
For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of dry ground; he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him there is no beauty that we should desire him.
He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Surely he has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows; yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
All we, like sheep, have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquities of us all.
He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb so he opened not his mouth.
He was taken from prison and from judgment; and who shall declare his generation? For he was cut off out of the land of the living; for the transgressions of my people was he stricken.
And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no evil, neither was any deceit in his mouth.
Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief; when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.
He shall see the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied; by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities.
Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death; and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bore the sins of many, and made intercession for the transgressors." (Mosiah 14)
He then, in beautiful language, explains Isaiah 53 by:

• expounding on the relationship between the Father and the Son (15:1-5);
• explaining that the Son will be, as Isaiah said, oppressed and afflicted (15:5) and led "as a sheep before the shearer is dumb so he opened not his mouth" (15:6) and slain (15:7) so that death and iniquity may be defeated.

He then, echoing the words of Isaiah in Chapter 53, asks, "Who shall declare his generation?" and answers his own question and, simultaneously, the priests' question concerning Isaiah 52:
"All the holy prophets who have prophesied concerning the coming of the Lord... all those who have hearkened unto their words, and beleived that the Lord would redeem his people, and have looked forward to that day for a remission of their sins... the prophets, every one that has opened his mouth to prophesy, that has not fallen into transgression, I mean all the holy prophets ever since the world began...
These are they who have published peace, who have brought good tidings of good, who have published salvation; and said unto Zion: Thy God reigneth!
And O how beautiful upon the mountains were their feet!
And again, how beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of those that are still publishing peace!
And again, how beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of those who shall hereafter publish peace, yea, from this time henceforth and forever!
And behold, I say unto you, this is not all. For O how beautiful upon the mountains are **the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that is the founder of peace, yea, even the Lord, who has redeemed his people; yea, him who has granted salvation unto his people" (Mosiah 15:11-18).
In other words, Abinadi is refuting their interpretation of Isaiah 52: these verses aren't about them; they are about Christ and all those who preach and follow Christ.
He then expounds on what "the salvation of our God" (Isaiah 52:10) actually is: that Christ "has broken the bands of death" (Mosiah 15:23) and "all those that have believed in [the words of the prophets], or all those that have kept the commandments of God, shall come forth in the first resurrection" (Mosiah 15:22).
But, salvation does not come to those "that rebel against him and die in their sins", those "that have wilfully rebelled against God, that have known the commandments of God, and would not keep them; these are they that have no part int the first resurrection" (15:26); in other words, the exact type of people that King Noah and his priests are: people who know the law and who should know better. This is why Abinadi then challenges them and says, "Therefore ought ye not to tremble?" because they know, as he does, that they are wilfully rebelling against God.
Then, to tie it all back together, he connects his words to Isaiah 52:8-10:
"...the time shall come that the salvation of the Lord shall be declared to every nation, kindred, tongue, and people.
Yea, Lord, thy watchmen shall lift up their voice; with the voice together shall they sing; for they shall see eye to eye, when the Lord shall bring again Zion.
Break forth into joy, sing together, ye waste places of Jerusalem; for the Lord hath comforted his people, he hath redeemed Jerusalem.
The Lord hath made bare his holy arm in the eyes of all the nations; and all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our God." (Mosiah 15:28-31)

Mosiah 16:1-15

After quoting to them again the words of Isaiah 52, he repeats the last idea of Isaiah's words to them:
"The time shall come when all shall see the salvation of the Lord; when every nation, kindred, tongue, and people shall see eye to eye and shall confess before God that his judgments are just." (16:2)
He then expounds upon the state of the wicked after death, teaches the Fall of Adam and Eve, and the necessity of the Redemption and Resurrection of Christ; that is, he concludes his challenge and sermon to the priests by teaching them the Plan of Salvation.
A defining feature of this sermon is that Abinadi speaks "of things to come as though they had already come" (16:6); that is, he speaks in the present or past tense about future events (e.g., the redemption, the resurrection, etc.). This is another powerful Hebraic prophetic speech form, known as the "prophetic perfect tense"; it is used by many Old Testament prophets when they speak of future events. Why? Because having received revelation concerning those events, their faith and knowledge of such events is as plain as if it already has happened to them. To them, Jesus might as well have already come, that is how real His Atonement is to them. That aspect of the future is just as matter of fact as the present or past.
Finally, Abinadi ties it all back together to the big theme: the priests do not understand, teach, or live according to the Law of Moses, and unless they repent, they will not be saved by the redemption of Christ.
"And now, ought ye not to tremble and repent of your sins, and remember that only in and through Christ ye can be saved?
Therefore, if ye teach the law of Moses, also teach that it is a shadow of those things which are to come–
Teach them that redemption cometh through Christ the Lord, who is the very Eternal Father. Amen." (16:13-15)

Mosiah 17:1-20

Abinadi's sermon has a lasting impact on one of the high priests, Alma, who believes Abinadi's words and pleads with the king to not be angry with Abinadi and let him depart in peace. (Again, the impact of Abinadi's sermon cannot be understated: Alma becomes the righteous leader of the Church, authorized with the priesthood to perform ordinances and set apart other leaders in the Church. His descendants are consistently those that lead the Nephites in the ways of the Lord until and after the coming of Christ.)
King Noah casts out Alma, who flees so that he will not be slain. It is because of Alma that we have this record of Abinadi at all, as he is the one who "did write all the words which Abinadi had spoken" (17:4).
King Noah then casts Abinadi into prison (seeing as how he had finished his message) for three days. (Notably, the length of the Pentecost Festival is also three days.)
After counseling with his priests, King Noah has Abinadi brought before them to stand trial. The priests have found a way, under the Law of Moses, to condemn Abinadi to death: they accuse him of blasphemy, which, under the Law of Moses, is punishable by death (Leviticus 24:11-16).
"Abinadi, we have found an accusation against thee, and thou art worthy of death. For thou hast said that God himself should come down among the children of men; and now, for this cause thou shalt be put to death unless thou wilt recall all the words which thou hast spoken evil concerning me and my people." (17:7-8)
Notice that the condition of Abinadi's acquittal is not that he repeal the words he said about God; the priests don't actually care about that trumped up charge. They instead care about the curses he has placed on them and prophesied of them, that they will be scourged, and plagued, and burned, etc. The ancient people took curses very seriously, and if Abinadi had the power to place a curse, only he could repeal it.
He refutes them once more: "I will not recall the words which I have spoken unto you, concerning this people, for they are true; and that ye may know of their surety I have suffered myself that I have fallen into your hands. Yea, and I will suffer even until death, and I will not recall my words, and they shall stand as a testimony against you. And if ye slay me ye will shed innocent blood, and this shall also stand as a testimony against you at the last day" (17:9-10).
This strikes fear into the heart of King Noah. He knows that the charges of blasphemy are false, and that if he goes through with this, it will be murder, "for he feared that the judgments of God would come upon him" (17:11).
However, the priests then quickly come up with another charge: "He has reviled the king" (17:12). This is the charge they will put him to death for, for speaking ill of the king. And King Noah acquiesces, is stirred up in anger against Abinadi and orders him to be killed.
The priests then take Abinadi, bind him, scourge him with faggots (bundles of wood to be burned), and scorch him with fire. Notice here, once more, the references to the story of Moses: because Abinadi preached to them using the Law of Moses, and shone like Moses, and spoke of Moses to testify of their iniquities, (and all possibly during the Pentecost celebration) they place him in a burning bush.
As the flames scorch him, Abinadi solidifies the curse and prophesies that, just as he is killed, so will the king die too: "And in that day ye shall be hunted, and ye shall be taken by the hand of your enemies, and then ye shall suffer, as I suffer, the pains of death by fire" (17:18). This prophesy later comes true, as King Noah is hunted and burned "unto death by fire" (Mosiah 19:20). This represents the final comparison between Moses' story and Abinadi's story:

Pharaoh & Moses	Noah & Abinadi
Just as Pharaoh had the sons of the Hebrews cast into the river to drown (Ex. 1:22), he and his army drowned in the depths of the Red Sea (Ex. 14:27-8).	Just as King Noah burned Abinadi alive (Mosiah 17:14-20), he was killed through death by fire (Mosiah 19:20).

Abinadi then exclaims, "O God, receive my soul," and dies, "because he would not deny the commandments of God, having sealed the truth of his words by his death" (Mosiah 17:20).

Abinadi: A Type and Shadow himself of Christ

Abinadi preached that the Law of Moses was a type and shadow of Christ. It's not hard to see that Abinadi's own death was also a type and shadow of Christ:

Abinadi's death	Christ's death
Abinadi testified to the wicked high priests of Shilom of their iniquities.	Christ testified to the wicked priests of the Jews of their iniqiuities.
Abinadi is placed on trial and accused of blasphemy for preaching that God would come down among the children of men.	Christ is placed on trial and accused of blapshemy for preaching that He is God, and He came down among the children of men.
Abinadi is almost released by King Noah, out of fear of the consequences.	Christ is almost released by Pilate, out of fear of the consequences.
The priests convinced King Noah to kill him anyways.	The people (and priests in particular) convinced Pilate to deliver Christ to be killed.
Abinadi is scourged and beaten prior to his death.	Christ is scourged and beaten prior to his death.
Abinadi seals the truth of his words by his death.	Christ seals the truth of his words by his death (Hebrews 9:16-17).

So when I was in sixth grade I had been friends with this girl I had known since fifth grade, she was a year younger than me. I'll call her Lilith. So the day started normally, except for the fact my younger sister (Mary) wasn't very happy, so our mom asked me to sit with her if she came to my classroom for lunch; I agreed as I am the oldest. In school the morning passed by normally, I tutored the kid I was assigned to, talked to friends including Lilith, did my school work, etc. Eventually lunch arrived and I broached the subject to Lilith that my mom had asked me to let my sister sit with me during lunch and asked Lilith if we could save her a seat just in case she wanted to sit with me. Everything seemed fine up until I asked if Mary could sit with us. Lilith had to go get her hot lunch from the office and Mary and I both packed home lunches. Lilith told me that if Mary sat in her (Lilith's) seat she (Lilith) would kill Mary. I told her that was rude, and that I would simply tell Mary that was where Lilith was sitting, so Mary could sit beside me or something. Lilith kept going on about how she would kill my sister over that stupid chair, and I sat there in silent seething rage. When Lilith went to the office to get her lunch I explained to our teacher what had happened and he said he would talk to her. Afterwards I sat with 'Teddy' the kid I tutored and 'Johnny' one of my other friends; I told them everything. Now this is where the petty comes in, Lilith had this obsessive crush on a kid a grade above me (who i will call Orion), and I had a minor crush on one of his friends (who i will call Dimitri); this is something Teddy and Johnny both knew. So they suggest telling the friend group Lilith and I were apart of. I agreed saying we would also tell her crush and mine. The plan: they (Teddy and Johnny) would go out first and tell Orion and Dimitri, meanwhile I would go and tell my sister and her friends (who were standing fairly close to my friend group so they over heard), after that I would go and finish the story to Orion and Dimitri. Well everything went according to plan, when Lilith came out and tried talking to Orion he told her to get away from him because he didn't want to hangout with a psycho (I didnt think he would go that far); and all except one of our friends turned their backs on her. The friend who sided with her told me I was a horrible person for doing that to Lilith, knowing what she (Lilith) had gone through. Something to know, Lilith's father had abandoned her and her mother before she was born; and her mother had gone to jail two or so years before for stealing, leaving Lilith in the care of her grandmother. Now it is my belief that no matter your background or how you grew up, threatening someone's life was and is unacceptable; and I told this "friend" exactly that. Then Lilith started to threaten me, in front of the entire forth, fifth, sixth grades (upper elementary) and middle school classes (we went to an elementary/combined middle school); saying things like she would ruin my life and ruin me, which only proved my point to the others, and I told her that if she came for me or my family she best be prepared for a fight (usually im not a confrontational person so this was a surprise to pretty much everyone). After school I told my mom what had happened and she talked with not only my and lilith's teacher but the principal of the school as well; which led to Lilith getting a talking to from the principal but not much else because of Lilith's background. The next day my teacher pretty much begged me to forgive Lilith, seeing as it was two weeks before summer break, and I told him I wouldnt even consider it until she apologized to my face; by this time Lilith had messaged me on Instagram saying how sorry she was Yada Yada blah blah blah and so on (to which i blocked her temporarily). So the teacher sent us both outside to reconcile; not realizing I had a different plan. Lilith tried to apologize but wouldn't look me in the eyes, my mother told me if someone ment their apology they would look you in the eyes and I told Lilith that and she tried again, again not looking me in the eye. Eventually, because she wouldn't look me in the eyes, I pretended to forgive her simply because I wanted this whole thing to end (and to prove my fake point unblocked her). I spent the next week or so pretending to be her friend (I never told my mom about this fake friendship thing, mostly because nothimg had been done about Lilith and I could be painted in a bad light for discrimination which wasnt the case because i knew about Lilith's home lige long before this whole situation and was still friends with her regardless; im not superficia, i care more about personality and things like money and appearance), and ghosted her the night of the big dance our school had like a week before the end of school; come to think of it i dont think she was even at the dance. And after the dance I started cutting back on how much time I spent around her, and I noticed pretty much everyone else did the same. Then on the last day of school, when I got home I immediately blocked her on everything: phone number, insta (all of her profiles), everything. AITAH?

So, if you’ve watched up to Season 5 of Cobra Kai, you know that Robby comes back from CK, and reconciles with Johnny to end Season 4. And you also know that Johnny pretty much screws up this new chance with his son, and lies to him about going to Mexico to actually find Miguel.
This leads to Robby just accepting that Johnny won’t change his ways, and just (at least you would think) represses how he would actually feel about the whole situation between Johnny/Miguel/himself, in order to keep that fatheson relationship going, whether it’s in his best interest or not.
So I wanted to come on here with a writing challenge for Season 5, where you have to keep Johnny’s lie to Robby about the Mexico trip on the first episode, but actually fix their relationship throughout the rest of Season 5 after this lie.
Instead of what actually happened, how would you have Johnny make up for this lie during or after the Mexico trip? Would you have Robby begrudgingly stay with Johnny in Mexico still mad, or have him leave which leads to Johnny needing to make up for what he did to Robby after getting Miguel?
And after the whole Mexico thing, what Johnny/Robby scenes would you have in Season 5 episodes to correlate with the plot of Season 5? And what S5 plot points after Mexico would you change to fix the Johnny/Robby dynamic?

Hello everyone, I am 50M, lately I have been going through an interesting life bump. Just a little background about me. I am a single father of three children. I grew up in an abusive household. My dad would physically abuse my mom and also beat my siblings and me. I have four younger siblings, three of them being girls. I was the oldest and would try to take the beatings for them. My oldest just was locked up on various charges and his ex is living with me because my son was abusing her. I actually posted about it, ill leave a link in case anyone wants to read it.
I do not like my father, I still have a relationship with my mom because I do love her dearly even though I partially blame her. A week an a half ago while my daughters were out at disney land, I got a surprise visit from my family. I opened the door to see my brother and sisters in front. I of course asked them if everything was okay and if mom was okay. I was told by my brother that I will have to take a deep breath and that I wasn't gonna like this. It was hard to see past them but I was able to see my mother getting outta the car with a man and my first thought was "oh boy" but it quickly turned to 'a long and violent " fuck". I swear to god I couldn't believe it, She was walking arm to arm with my fucking father.
I looked at my siblings with the expression of " what the fuck is this?" I told them to come inside and I stepped outside to confirm what I was seeing. I didn't say a word verbally but im sure the my facial expression spoke for me. I turned around and went back inside, i do not know what I was gonna say but I had to give me some time to process it. I closed the door behind me, leaving my parents outside. Admitttalty as AHOLE move. I asked my siblings about what was going on, we kinda had a sibling meeting. Everyone was kinda caught off guard as well by it as they were in a similar situation as me. I let my parents in after a few quick minutes.
We all sat down in the living room and we waited for the meeting to start. My mother started it off by thanking all of us for being here ( like if i was invited) and that she thinks its time that we forgave our father. I am not completely sure what she said after words but she was speaking for him and I angrily asked her if he cant speak for himself, If he lost his sharp tongue. My father was about to speak but mom raised her hand a bit signaling to stay quiet. She told us " your father wants to reconcile with you guys and wants to build something with you guys. That he came to her flowers in hand asking for forgiveness." there was a lot more but im going to be honest. I blanked it all out. I sorta snapped at her and told her that she was out of her mind. To come into my house arm and arm with the fucking animal I spent my childhood defending every single one of you from. To come in here and to tell me to just forgive him, be buddies, be father and son. To ask my siblings to do the same. My sisters were trying to get me to water down a bit but I told them to say something as well, this was the same monster that made them hide in their rooms growing up. They just sat down and stayed mute.
That she of all people should loathe this man, for the shit he did to her, for the shit he did to us. At this point I was ranting and looking at my siblings for help or for them to say something. They just looked at me. I turned to my father and told him to speak, not one word from him has been muttered. When he spoke, it was like the speech from the lich ( adventure time) that's how it felt for me. " After all this time, you remain the same man, unable to move past and find forgiveness in your heart. You are the same man as me and yet you look at me with such hate." He continued to utter garbage at me, not once did he apologize to me or my siblings, not once that he talk to me like an equal. He started to "remind me (us)" about all the things he did for us, the family. I scoffed at him. I Told him that him breaking my nose, and making me put down our dog because he was barking to loud over your show was really doing it for the betterment of the family. Like burning my sisters clothes because you thought they were too revealing. Or perhaps beating mother with a broom stick until it broke was for the betterment of the family.
My mom was trying to stop me from continuing on but I told her to keep her mouth shut, that this was between the animal and me. I told him the only reason you decided to come back from the grave was because his was dying, alone, with nobody by his side and the only people he ever had was his family. After all these years, he only now decide to come and ask for our forgiveness. To not only come to us like a coward hiding behind our mothers weaponized emotional incompetence. That he finally realized how pathetic his existence has been.
My siblings stayed quiet but only nooded at me when I turned to look at them. I refuse to accept his bullshit reconciliation plan. That he was more than welcomed to die alone. In some cold and empty room. I told my mother that the same faith would follow her if she decided to continue her association with him. She has had my support, my blood and tears for as long as I have been alive for. I told her If she wants to throw that away for this animal than she can walk out my fucking house with him.
My siblings have my back on this, they are not forgiving him. I love my mother with all my heart but I will die on this hill if i have to. AITA?
Edit: I have apologized to my mother, and to each one of my siblings since. My mother and I haven't really spoken since. My siblings all said that the reason they stayed quiet was because they were gonna decide after I made my decision. If I forgave him than they would to. That they didn't say anything because I was speaking for them. I am not sure what the fuck my mother was thinking.

Brilliant series but i feel like the ending was lacking at the end, like i wanted harry to reconcile with Ginny after breaking up/distancing himself from her, almost seeing her die in the battle etc. Like man instead of the cursed child and them in 19 or 20 years time i'd of preffered reading of all the characters interactions to really give the series a proper send off. Honestly one of the things i really like in Harry Potter is all of the scenes where people are just living and talking in the magical world. The trio on their way home in the summer discussing the year etc. I guess i just care and have much more of an interest in the characters in Harry Potter then other books i've read and enjoyed where really i mostly enjoyed it for the plot.
Also i know everyone says it but Snape is just deranged. You'd hope he had a more caring last moment towards Harry than simply wanting to look into his eyes to remind him of Lily one last time. I wonder how much he did that while Harry was alive? If he often thought of her when he saw him, or only saw his father until his dying moment?
Also does anyone know how sure Dumbledore was that Harry wouldn't die? I mean Harry naming his child after the man who set him up on such a hard quest just to die for the greater good. Not sure if it was actually Dumbledore in Limbo or just some creation of him inside Harry's head either?
Imagine if intead of the cursed child and that final chapter JK released a bunch of books of them in their later lives, the amount of money she'd of made... but i guess you cant really do that without inventing a plot which rivals the world ending intensity of the first lot, which i think is what cursed child writers felt they had to do and it just felt so fake and undermined the previous story.

I(28F) am currently 6 weeks pregnant with my ex (30M) of 2 1/2 years.
We decided to take a break due to arguments over the past month, and on our last day together, we had unprotective sex. I took 3 tests 2 weeks ago and discovered I am pregnant.
I informed him last week and I think he’s still in denial. He asked me to go for a scan to confirm so he can tell his parents. He has expressed that he doesn’t think it’s a good time for him to have a baby right now, and has been trying to convince me into abortion. He is not ready and doesn’t see that we can work things out in the future because of what happened over the trip. I encouraged him to reconcile, not as a couple, but as civil adults to make communications easier in the following weeks or potentially years. He refused and told me I should talk to people for advice. I have spoke to my best friends and I don’t have a solution, I don’t want my child to grow up without a father figure but I also don’t want to have this kind of father in its life. I only had one sex partner my whole life so there is no possibility that he is not the father. I’m personally also not ready to raise the child as a single mother without support.
If this pregnancy happened few months back, I would not have the same doubts I currently have. I considered abortion after the conversation with him because I was really disappointed and didn’t expect him to not take responsibility and I don’t want to have a child with someone like him after what he said, but I also don’t want to end my own child’s life because of our unresolved issues. I’m scared of regrets later on in life, not getting to know my own child and for not giving it a chance in life. My family don’t live in the same country as me, so I will not have day-to-day help. My friends are supportive but I don’t think it’s realistic for me to raise the baby without a partner. I have all sorts of concerns and I am not in the right headspace at the moment to be thinking clearly.
I called his sister the other day but she wasn’t able to pick up due to time difference. I started speaking to her about our issues since our arguments ever started, she was the one to reach out to me initially and had been helping to work things out with their parents for us. She had been very understanding and also has children herself so I thought she might be someone I could seek advice from. He found out I called, and told me not to tell his sister, and if I do I’d be going behind his back, and his sister would tell his parents for sure. Honestly I just want to find someone who can give me solid advice. His sister has a full picture of what has been going on between us, and I feel like I shouldn’t really care if his parents knows or not.

I'm a seafarer's wife, we have 2 teenage kids and we have an abnormal set up. The eldest lives with my mom and the youngest lives with my inlaws. My husband and I separated before thus the set up, until 2019 we reconciled and decided to get married '"for the kids".
I have 2 full time jobs and I don't rely on his allotment/salary. Ever since he got the job, all of his salary goes to his parents. I raised my eldest alone, paid for her school fees ALONE. He never contributed, which was okay for me at that time, since we were separated and I don't want anything from him as I am earning more than enough.
Before, I agreed to get married last 2019, I made him promised that we are now going to be his priority. He said yes, and yeah I believed him. But yeah, that didn't happen. His allotment still goes to his parents, I understand because at that time he still has siblings who goes to college and his mother takes care of our youngest.
Now that his younger siblings graduated, no changes. I bought a house to urge him to collect our kids and so we can be a normal whole family. Still, that is not the case.
Recently, he has to send large amount of money (40k Php) to his parents to celebrate fiesta. At first, I understand as his father was a former politician so they are expecting a lot of people. But he told me that money was not enough and he has to spend another (20k php)! I did not agree, spending 60k for a one day fiesta is too much and not practical! We could use the money to start upgrading the house I bought so his kids and I can be together. He got angry!
Not sure, if this is the right decision and would love insights but I am now thinking of just leaving him. I think the last straw was drawn. I felt like his obligations to his family would not end and there would be no peace in our family.
I'm sure this is the right decision, but thinking about our kids made me hesitate. Need insights! Please! tl;dr

I (33,f) was with my ex bf (33,m) for a year and half. We met on Okcupid, and were very alike in many ways and hit it off right away, 4 months later, we decided to go steady. He came off as someone who was very family oriented, someone who cared about building a legacy, and was marriage minded, and that I was his first girlfriend.
Being together with him felt like a dream, he accepted me as a whole, encouraged me to improve, didn't leave when i went through surgery early on in our relationship, he took me to all his company's annual dinners, brought me to see his parents a month into getting official and I brought him to see mine a little later, he took us out on our first trip when we got intimate for the first time. Things were mostly peaceful and we hardly fought, i took care of him in every way I could, cooked, cleaned, took care of him when he was sick. I have never cared a single bit that he was earning lesser than I was, and I shared the dating expenses. I was nothing but grateful and happy to have found someone like him after all the prior unlucky encounters.
At one point in our relationship, he was having issues at work where his probation was being extended, I comforted him and worked together to pass the extension, i passed his cv to all the headhunters in my contacts and hoping it would help him securing a job opportunity elsewhere, he eventually passed and we celebrated it by taking a trip together.
After the trip, I found out that he's always had dating apps installed on his phone, i was devastated when I first found out and confronted him over it. He cried and begged that it was because he thought i would leave him as he was on the verge of losing his job at the time, he promised that he didn't swipe nor cheat on me, I broke down and promised him that I would always be by his side. He uninstalled the dating app after i found out and promised that we'll work towards our future, so we began our house hunting, and he eventually bought his first apartment for us.
A few months later, i realized my period stopped because of the pills, we discussed over it and agreed to stop the pills, and he'd be using condom moving forward. However, he was really undisciplined when it comes to contraception and i eventually got pregnant, i didn't want to abort the child at first and told him we should just get married, he said that he wasn't ready and talked me into having an abortion. I was sad, but I didn't want my child to live a life where the father didn't want him. He promised that we would have our children in the future when the time was right. And so we went with his decision, I was crying the whole night before the visit and cried in front of the doctor. It was beyond devastating for me.
Fast forward to 26th of December, I had a hunch that he was hiding something from me, so I went through his phone, turned out he had been cheating on me since day 1 with girls from dating apps, he had been taking them out on dates, attempting to sleep with them. He used all my favourite pictures that i took of him on dating apps, claimed that he was looking for long-term relationships. It killed me to know that he texted them on my birthday, flirted with them on Valentine's day, cheated on me even when I was helping him with job hunting while he lived a double life that I knew nothing of. I confronted him right away, and he claimed it was because his parents didn't like me, he begged me not to go, he claimed that he hadn't done anything physical with them and swore he will not cheat on me ever again, and we went for our first couple counselling on the same night. Life after that was hell, i couldn't trust him, i was fighting with my own self-respect, i fell into a deep depression. We tried our best at rebuilding the trust, and i acknowledged that he tried his best to reassure me and calmed me down whenever i was having a panic attack.
We decided to take a 3 week break after a month of trying to reconcile, the 3 weeks of no contact were brutal, i didn't know if he was cheating on me but I was so afraid of losing him at the same time. 3 weeks later, he came over to my house with gifts and broke up with me. I begged for him not to go, and that we can mend things. He wished me all the best and promised that i'll find my forever person one day and he then just left.
It's been 3 and a half months since the break up, and it still haunts me, i tried my best in that relationship, i gave in my all, i was a good girlfriend, i listened to him and was supportive. But this is what i'm being rewarded with, a very painful experience.