How to draw open mouth in photoshop

Adobe Photoshop

2008.03.06 17:30 Adobe Photoshop

2012.01.19 23:10 atomichugbot PhotoshopBattles

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2012.02.08 21:02 jaredcheeda Photoshop Tutorials

A place for learning and sharing. Please feel free to link tutorials you've found useful or resources for better using Photoshop to its full potential. Links to tutorials in Photoshop. If you're new to Photoshop and don't know where to start, check out our FAQ Wiki: http://www.reddit.com/PhotoshopTutorials/wiki/index If you just found a great tutorial and want to share it, post here!

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2024.05.21 18:29 Korae 88% Winrate to Mythic - I love my Big Black Deck (necropotence is bad)

The Deck

Moxfield Link to the decklist: https://www.moxfield.com/decks/OsszAWZ8aEumTmqFC-kJxQ
https://preview.redd.it/652pxlyais1d1.png?width=1912&format=png&auto=webp&s=44299f4e05f67e18f1bc819b06d8c24c1d557bd6
https://preview.redd.it/o3l9mx83is1d1.png?width=320&format=png&auto=webp&s=dd2f538e176117404c679bb3d0730ddae4678ad4
Recently, I went on a 30-4 TEAR with mono-black to mythic. Today I'll be providing a write-up on the deck and my thoughts on it so that other members of the community can have a go at playing it.
I personally think that dark ritual and reanimate are two of the best cards in the format, and that black also has the best interaction in the format, so I've spent a lot of time tinkering with Bx or mono-B lists since OTJ dropped. I spent a lot of time trying to make a necropotence build work, until I tried this sheoldred + ring build and saw amazing results. Yes, there's some crazy amount of luck here. An 88% winrate can't last forever. 34 games in an online ladder is almost nothing at the end of the day. But I do want to share the deck, as I'd love to see the community refine and improve this list.

Necropotence is worse than The One Ring

I really do think that this build is superior to Necropotence builds (see my first idea for this deck running necro+some devotion cards https://www.moxfield.com/decks/IEB_vC54_EOgmckgg3vzAQ ). Necropotence is a very punishing card in this format, and I really don't think its as broken as other people think. In Timeless, Necropotence is balanced by its sharp draw-backs and the high power level of the format. I think that The One Ring is a superior source of card advantage because it provides you protection for a turn, it can mitigate its own downside via the legend rule, and it can pair incredibly well with Sheoldred to stabilize and play the long game. Necropotence, on the other hand, does nothing in multiples (besides providing devotion), completely locks you out of the game if your opponent plays a pithing needle, cannot remove itself via the legend rule when you don't need more card advantage, and can't overcome its own life-loss with Sheoldred (you need to play a bad card like March and hemorrhage card advantage to make up for the life loss here).
As a quick example, I had a game against a primeval titan player where I wasn't able to sufficiently disrupt them, and they turbo'd out a prime time early. My plan was to turbo a turn 2 Sheoldred, but that's still a losing position by itself against the Primeval Titan nut draw. They had an overwhelming board of zombies that would have killed me on the next attack step, and at any moment they could topdeck Natural Order for hoof. I only had a Sheoldred in play and 4 mana available to me, but I get lucky and top-deck a Ring, buying me a turn and gaining life with Sheoldred. After drawing 3 cards with the ring and drawing for turn, I find another ring, and legend rule it for protection again. I draw more cards, another ring, legend rule it again. Opponent died to my Sheoldred triggers and Deathrite Shaman activations before they could even make another attack. A necropotence deck would not win in this situation without playing a suboptimal storm-based win condition like Beseech the Mirror + Tendrils.

Common Turn 1/2 Play-Patterns

I'd like to go over every card inclusion in the deck individually, but first I'd like to first highlight some of the most busted play patterns that will win you games for context. I love this deck because I can have a broken turn 1/2, it can interact with your opponent very well, and it can also grind with the ring. I really think you should mulligan once to try and get an opening hand with a Dark Ritual or a Reanimate if you don't see these cards in your opening 7.

Dark Ritual + Troll + Reanimate + Any 1 mana spell - This is the best opening hand you can have. Play your land for turn, dark ritual. If you have a thoughsieze or other 1 mana spell in hand, play it first to clear the way for your cycle+reanimate. Hopefully you'll discard your opponent's interaction or eat a spell piece so that you can cleanly resolve reanimate on Troll. Then use the other two mana to cycle then reanimate your Troll. In this position, you just put a 6/5 into play and disrupted your opponent on turn 1. Or maybe you put a 6/5 AND a deathrite shaman into play. There are very few removal spells in the format that will kill the Troll early, its nearly impossible to block the troll, and its really just 3 attack steps to kill your opponent with the troll in a fetchland format.
Dark Ritual + Thoughtsieze + Reanimate - In the blind, this is an interesting decision. You might want to Thoughseize alone and save your Dark Ritual for turn 2 if its game 1 and you have no other information. If you high-roll, you can get your own Atraxa on turn 1. If you low-roll and can't discard a creature, you waste a Dark Ritual. I personally prefer to only cast thoughsieze on turn 1 when I don't have any information on my opponent's hand or deck. I like to save the Dark Ritual for my turn 2 play, where I can act on the information I gained from thoughseizing with 4 mana available to me. The only exception to this is when I have other things to do with the extra Dark Ritual mana. For example, the opener could be Dark Ritual + Thoughtsieze + Reanimate + Bowmasters, where you just cast a turn 1 bowmasters if you don't discard a sweet reanimate target. Or Dark Ritual + Thoughtsieze + Reanimate + DRS + DRS. The flexibility of being able to follow up your Thoughsieze with a reanimate OR a threat based on what you see is what makes this really potent.
Dark Ritual + The One Ring/Sheoldred - Combined with a thoughtsieze, this is the second best opening hand the deck can have. I LOVE getting Rings and Sheoldreds out on turn 2. Its how this deck wins games. Clear the way turn 1 with a discard spell, or if you can't use a Deathrite Shaman to bait removal. Then on turn 2, go for your busted ritual turn. If you thoughsiezed turn 1, you can act on the information you gained. If your opponent is holding up a spell pierce, then don't try and turbo out a ring. If they're holding up a mana drain, let them waste their mana and just pass. The Ring will give you card advantage no matter when you play it, so you can be patient against countermagic you can play several dark rituals or threats on later turns to get through counterspells (being able to flash out bowmasters on opponent's end steps is a fantastic way to force them to tap mana to counter or remove it). Sidenote - most players will NOT counter your dark ritual and instead try to mana drain whatever you cast using the dark ritual mana. A way to get around this is to do something like cast Dark Ritual (which doesn't get countered) followed up by a Thoughseize (which they're almost forced to counter) followed up by your real threat.
Fair Hands (Deathrite Shaman, Bowmasters) - Wow this deck can play fair magic too! I don't need dark ritual on turn 1 to win! This deck performs great on a basic draw that interacts with your opponent. Turn 1 deathrite shaman, turn 2 discard Harvester to interact, turn 3 Ring. Or turn 1 Thoughsieze, turn 2 bowmasters, turn 3 interaction, turn 4 ring/sheoldred. If you can get to turn 4 in these sorts of games, you're generally going to win as your smother your opponent with card advantage and sheoldred triggers. In some matchups however, you might want to mulligan a slow fair hand if it doesn't interact well with your opponent's strategy.

Individual Cards

Lets go over every card and why I believe it belongs in the deck:

Dark Ritual - No explanation needed.
Reanimate - Not much explanation needed for this either, beyond the fact that you need at about a dozen enablers to make this card work. An enable is a card that can discard your opponent's creatures, or a way for you to discard your own big creature. We have a dozen exactly - 4 thoughtseize and 8 big creatures that can discard themselves. Plus, all of our other creatures are reasonable backup targets that we're happy to reanimate when the eat a removal spell.
Troll of Khazad-Dum - A legacy staple alongside reanimate, it serves the same purpose in this deck. It enables busted turn 1/2 reanimations of a 6/5 pseudo-unblockable creature. It dodges most removal spells in the format. It lets us lower our land count down to just 19. Its also hard-castable with Dark Ritual, similar to how Vein Ripper functions in pioneer by being a cheat target that can also be cast fairly on later turns.
Harvester of Misery - Listen up kids this card makes the deck click. I haven't seen anyone else really talking about this card or playing it on ladder. This is a fantastic card that serves multiple roles in the deck. It is an UNCOUNTERABLE targeted removal spell, it is a boardwipe for small creatures, it is a reanimate target that puts itself into the graveyard, and it is a 5 power threat with menace. Oftentimes, you end up discarding this on turn 2 to answer your opponent's cheap threat, and this is a good play to make regardless of whether or not you can reanimate this card. The fact that this removal spell is UNCOUNTERABLE has won me games against slow UBx decks, this is an un-counterable way to kill their bowmasters so you can get drawing cards with your Ring. Harvester's boardwipe potential is also amazing. It cleanly kills Field of the Dead tokens for example. Its discard ability can stack with its ETB if you reanimate it. For example, if your opponent is on Jund with a board of Jarsyl (3/3), bowmasters, and a DRS, you can discard this targeting Jarsyl to shrink it to a 1/1, then reanimate it to wholesale wipe your opponent's board. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THE BOARDWIPE IS SYMMETRICAL - playing this guy will kill your own DRS and Bowmasters as well. I sometimes let myself fall behind on board if I'm trying to set up a big play with harvester.
The One Ring and Sheoldred - Lumping these together because we know how it works. These are both fantastic cards to play on Turn 2 off a ritual that can win the game. I already went over some scenarios before, and I'm sure we know how it goes by now. As I explained before, I think this package is much better than trying to play Necropotence.
Thoughsieze - Premium discard spell in the format, doesn't need much explanation. I will note that I am not playing Duress or Inquisition in the maindeck because they do not synergize as well with Reanimate. If there was another discard spell that could discard big creatures, I would play it. Can I thoughtsieze myself to set up reanimate? No, you're lost in the sauce. Don't do that. Point the card at your opponent please.
1x Demonic Tutor - Its restricted for a reason. I'm not sure how many copies the deck would play if it wasn't restricted, as 4 copies would be a lot. But it helps a lot with consistency in the mid-late game, and I've cast it off a ritual on turn 1 when I went Dark Ritual -> Thoughseize discarding Show + Tell -> DT for Surgical Extraction -> goodbye combo piece.
Deathrite Shaman - This card is banned in every other format for a reason. Its a mana accelerant that is also a late-game win condition. It can gain you life in a pinch. Its passive graveyard hate. Mwah.
Orcish Bowmasters - This is a very good card that keeps the power level of the deck up. I don't think I need to tell you the pros and cons of bowmasters if you're reading this much about timeless. You will sideboard this card out a lot, it has good matchups and bad matchups. But man is it good in the good matchups. As I stated before, its really good against blue decks, and often can bait out counterspells or removal to clear the way for your real threats.
3 Fatal Push and 1 Sheoldred's Edict - Seems like a pretty good maindeck removal suite. Maybe someone will type an essay on why it should be 4 fatal pushes and 2 edicts. Or how I can get away with less fatal pushes. This is something you can tweak if you pick up the deck.
1 Maindeck Liliana of the Veil - This is a flex spot that I've swapped around a lot. Really, this is just going to become a grief in a month when MH3 drops. Turn 1 lili off a dark ritual breaks a lot of decks backs. I originally had a maindeck Ashiok in this slot, which can also be a backbreaking play against some decks but it did literally nothing against others. This slot is completely flexible, feel free to add another removal spell or your personal pet card.
8 Fetchlands - I do believe you need to run fetchlands to enable your Deathrite Shaman. 8 fetchlands seems to consistently enable its mana ability, and allow me to splash green for its other lifegain ability. These fetches also let me get my utility lands.
1x Underground Mortuary - Surveil land that you will fetch frequently. I am considering running two, but I don't want too many taplands to disrupt my turn 1 Dark Ritual plays. Keep in mind, Troll more or less counts as 4 tap-lands already. Our untapped land count is pretty low for a monocolor deck.
1x Overgrown Tomb - Untapped land for DRS activated ability. You can also put a green card in your sideboard if you wish. I'm not, buy maybe there's a card worth playing. A light splash in on color is pretty free for this deck.
1x Gate of the Black Dragon - This tap land lets you spend 5 mana to "draw a card" once. This is significantly better than drawing a card, as it guarantees you hit a nonland card, and it gets around "draw a card" punishers like Bowmasters. I find myself fetching this and activating this in slower matchups, especially when my opponent is holding up countermagic. I don't activate it super frequently, but its absolutely worth having for the price of one tapped land. FYI Troll can grab this or Mortuary when you cycle it.
1x Takenuma - Pretty free way to buy back your threats. There's not enough effects in this format to punish nonbasic lands for this to not be worth running one copy of.
7 basics - keeps the manabase relatively painless for a fetchland manabase.

Sideboard Cards:

3 Surgical Extraction - This comes in for unfair combo decks only. Use this to rip Show + Tell from your opponent's hand, and then rip it from their deck. Only sideboard these in if you're also sideboarding in your extra discard spells, or if your opponent is filling their own graveyard.
2 Duress + 2 Inquisition of Kozilek - I like having more discard spells in the sideboard. I don't like that these can't hit big creatures to reanimate, but these are for control decks and unfair decks primarily. I'm not sure if the 2/2 split here is correct, or if 4 discard spells in the sideboard is correct. Another discard spell on my radar is Mind Spike which is a duress that lets you draw a card if you "miss" at the cost of 2 life. I've run it before in Death's Shadow lists and it performed well.
2 Path of Peril, 2 Meathook Massacre, and 1 Fatal Push - this is the fair deck sideboard package, which comes in against creature decks as Thoughsiezes come out. I don't always board in all 5 together, and I again don't know if this is the correct combination of spells. Perhaps some Sheoldred's Edicts or some good old fashioned Doom Blade style cards are needed instead. However I will say that both Meathook and Path of Peril have overperformed for me. Dark Ritual can enable a crazy meathook turn, and you can also hide behind The One Ring's protection and watch your opponent build up their board before delivering the boardwipe. Path of Peril lines up really well against Tarmogoyf decks, as Harvester and Meathook can struggle to kill that card. I'm 110% open to other suggestions for these slots.
2 Ashiok, Dream Render - this was originally in the maindeck and got moved out to the sideboard. It can be a BACKBREAKING card to cheat out with a Dark Ritual against some decks. It's also selective graveyard hate, which I really like. I don't like playing Leyline of the Void in this deck because it nerfs my own Reanimates. However, Ashiok lets me choose when to exile my opponent's graveyard, so I can wait until I cast my Reanimate, then active the planeswalker ability. Oftentimes, you just run Ashiok as a static hatepiece for searching libraries and don't active the ability at all.
1 Pithing Needle - this sideboard slot is flexible, needle is a catch-all for random combo decks that rely on activate abilities, and tough planeswalkers to beat. I originally had 2 copies of pithing needle in the sideboard. I can be convinced that its correct to turn 2 copies, and I can also be convinced to put another card in this slot.

I'm also incredibly high on this deck because of the impending addition of Grief to the format. Grief slots perfectly into this deck, and might be the card that catapults this deck to the top. This deck is already incredibly consistent in disrupting your opponent and backing that disruption up with a threat, and Grief will only take it to the next level.

TLDR

Dark Ritual is busted. You should try this deck and win some games with it. If we all work together, I'm pretty sure we can get Dark Ritual and/or Grief restricted by the end of the summer :^)

submitted by Korae to TimelessMagic [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 18:28 BleepBlimpBop $RILY DD: Long List of Short Seller Claims --- DEBUNKED with proof!

Ever-shifting Short Seller Claims

The short sellers attacking RILY in 2023-2024 have been relentless, with an ever-shifting list of wild accusations.
It's sickening to watch them compile a never-ending list of baseless wild theories and claims to support their short positions, which are demonstrably false. But as each is proved false, they pivot to new claims, and/or change the goalposts.
The sheer volume of shifting claims makes it hard to track how despotic they are with their "platform," and how many falsehoods they've spun. Even for someone who watched it in real-time, for almost a year

Compiled & Debunked

Sunlight kills vampires. To that end, I've compiled a list of (i) claimants (ii) claims (iii) reality (iv) definitive source proving reality.

Why Did They Target RILY?

One of the most vocal short sellers, Nate Koppikar (who also introduced Marc Cohodes to the "opportunity") has a fund Orso Partners. Based on their SEC registration document, this is their investment thesis:
"The Account’s investment objectives are to achieve capital appreciation primarily by identifying and selling short marketable equity securities of underfollowed and complex companies with misleading or corrective disclosures through a research-intensive process. The Account employs a short-biased investment strategy with an emphasis on primarily small to mid-cap companies that are underfollowed and complex (i.e., companies with market capitalizations of less than $5 billion which the market does not yet have a wellformed bull and/or bear perspective)."
RILY fits their description. The icing on the cake was the relatively large market cap, and the relatively small float. Given extremely high insider ownership (32.9% of shares per the proxy), and limitations on when and how insiders can trade, the "free float" of the stock (i.e., the shares that regularly trade) is very small for the size of the company. Moreover, the setup would only get better - given insiders have consistently used their free cash to buy additional shares hand-over-fist (further reducing the float).
That meant, with relatively small amounts of capital, the short sellers could shove around the stock price. That ability to move price opens another profit avenue - taking large derivative positions (buying puts, and selling calls), and shoving the price (or allowing it to drift up) to profit all along the way. It looked so good, the stock has been the highest-shorted on the US indices for several months. Even after the release of the 10-K, shares remain "hard to borrow" with elevated borrow fees.

Debunked Claims

The claims made by vocal short sellers could fill a book. Most were outrageous and fanciful when they were proposed. Virtually all have objectively debunked. This isn't a comprehensive list, as their claims are too numerous and varied. But it paints an illuminating picture.
With a track record this poor, one would expect the short sellers to exit - rather than continuing to spin new narratives. Perhaps the continued attacks are their exit strategy to avoid bankruptcy... Well, #Bullish.
With the highest short interest of all US stocks (albeit likely decreased from the highs of ~76% of the float), I think this is more than ripe for a return to fair value - or well above, if a short squeeze occurs.
Note that the list below deliberately excludes three types of posts/claims from the short sellers:
A) Juvenile personal attacks and attempts to character assassinate and dox a long list of people (RILY CEO, RILY new hires, RILY clients, Marcum the auditor, Marcum's lead audit professional, any firm or individual publicly posting a bull thesis on RILY, etc.).
B) Those that make no objective claims, but simply exist as a product of malicious degeneracy (like pictures of roasted pigs in ovens labeled Bryant Riley the CEO, photoshopped pictures of the CEO in prison chains next to convicted felons, video of an obese woman barely able to walk being gored by a bull labeled Mrs. Riley the CEO's wife, etc.).
C) Those that are impossible for short sellers to know, and impossible to objectively verify (e.g., Marc Cohodes claiming a single RILY trader front runs the CEOs personal short trades in front of clients taking following the firm's bullish advice on those stocks, to guarantee profits).

Claimant	Claim	Reality
1) Wolfpack	Wolfpack “RILY will record investment losses of up to ~$700 million in 2023” FALSE 10-K	FALSE
2) Wolfpack	“new loan to CORZQ will work out just as badly as the last and end in default (again) before June 2023”	FALSE Repaid in full, early, on 1/6/2024.
3) Wolfpack	“The coupon rate on RILY’s seven issues of baby bonds ranges from 5% to 6.75%, which we believe to be far too low to compensate investors for the existential risk that accompanies these securities.”	FALSE Full redemption of May 2024 came early. Far more than sufficient cash to cover debt payments.
4) Wolfpack	“According to our analysis, 4 of RILY’s largest 7 corporate borrowers with outstanding loan balances of $295.3 million are at a high risk of default, or in the case of CORZQ, is already in default.”	FALSE a. Core Scientific Inc. repaid early and in full ($111MM of the “risk”) b. Exela Technologies repaid term loan in full ($55.8MM of the “risk”) c. Arena Group Holdings debt retired in full ($99MM of the “risk”). Publicly disclosed in the most recent 10-K for each company (search for "Riley" in the filing)
5) Wolfpack	“RILY’s NAV is Far Below the $1.1 Billion Minimum NAV Requirement That Is Required for the Nomura Credit Agreement Putting RILY at Risk of Collapse in 2023”	FALSE RILY is in full compliance with the Nomura credit agreement. Moreover, reflecting the strength of the relationship, Nomura even granted a no-fee extension when the 10-K filing was delayed. Also see 10-K for current status.
6) Wolfpack	“Over $200 Million of the Goodwill and Intangible Assets on RILY’s Balance Sheet is Attributable to its Telecom Rollup, which is Centered on Dial-up and DSL Internet:” - criticizing them as dying businesses with no value	FALSE Segment is extremely valuable. From just 2020 to 2023, the communications segment has returned over $212.2MM in adjusted EBITDA.
7) Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various	RILY committed fraud with loans and closing the FRG acquisition. "The fact $RILY closed the FRG deal while hiding the Kahn loan - an all PIK defaulted loan backed by $FRG shares - is a Hall of Fame worthy act of fraud. I thought after Enron/Sarbox we couldn't have something like this happen in US markets."	FALSE A law firm led an internal investigation, and an independent external investigation both found “The review confirmed what the Company previously disclosed: that the Company and its executives, including Bryant Riley, had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Prophecy.” “The results of the independent investigation confirmed that the Company and its executives had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Mr. Kahn or any of his affiliates. This independent investigation was conducted subsequent to the Company's February 22, 2024 disclosure of the internal review performed with the assistance of Sullivan & Cromwell LLP as outside counsel.” Also see 10-K
8) Marc Cohodes (AlderlaneEggs), ParrotCapital, Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various	The 10-K will never be filed. They can't produce audited financials.	FALSE Audited 10-K was filed. Delay was due to Audit committee fulfilling its responsibilities and proactively conducting investigations (internal and external).
9) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) + Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate) + ParrotCapital	Sullivan and Cromwell knew about Massive Fraud, and did a "sham investigation"	FALSE Sullivan and Cromwell is one of the most respected law firms, in the US and worldwide. "Sullivan & Cromwell continues to lead all law firm advisers in announced and completed global deals in 2023, according to Bloomberg and LSEG. The Firm advised on global announced deals totaling more than $345 billion, representing a 12.1 percent market share, per Bloomberg, and on completed global deals totaling more than $431 billion, representing a 16.9 percent market share, per LSEG." They're not compromising themselves for a relatively small client.
10) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear), Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Parrot Capital	Marcum is enabling Massive Fraud	FALSE Marcum is a respected audit firm, and 13th largest by revenue. "Marcum LLP advanced into the Top 15 in the 2023 Vault Accounting list of top-ranked accounting firms. Marcum climbed six levels to the No. 13 ranking overall and earned a ranking of 14 in prestige. The Firm also won Top 20 rankings across all Practice Area, Quality of Life, and Diversity categories, including several new classifications added this year."
11) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	Nomura is enabling Massive Fraud	FALSE Nomura is a global financial services company, and the oldest brokerage firm in Japan. They operate in a highly regulated industry. They're not putting themselves on the line for a relatively small client.
12) Parrot Capital	"The list of $RILY enablers is massive: Marcum LLP, Sullivan and Cromwell, Seeking Alpha, Holbrook Holdings, $AX Axos Bank, Many, many more."	FALSE There's no global conspiracy whereby these companies - all respected law firms, auditors, banks, and media outlets - are collectively colluding to enable RILY to commit fraud. Requires only two brain cells and one functioning synapse to know there's no grand collusion cabal between these disparate companies.
13) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Jonathan Weil at WSJ	Franchise Group shares used to secure Kahn loan: "It is unclear whether Kahn pledged the same shares twice—to both Prophecy and B. Riley."	FALSE As stated by the company, Simple UCC search disproves this. UCC # 202302295747
14) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	“Bryant Riley is on the Road, telling people the ‘audit partner at Marcum left’ and that ‘I have made mistakes’ “	FALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had hit the 5yr SEC rule, so he was never working on this year’s audit.
15) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	"So it turns out James La Rocca was Fired by MarcumLLP If nothing was wrong with prior $RILY Audits, why is he gone? This will be great in discovery of what exactly went on.	FALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had hit the 5yr SEC rule, so he was never working on this year’s audit.
16) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear)	“So Bryant Riley did disseminate MNPI back in March” in response to Cohodes claim that he told people the Marcum partner left	FALSE Cohodes claimed Bryant Riley was telling people the Marcum auditor left. Koppikar called that disseminating MNPI. Cohodes statement was false (and thus Koppikar's derivate claim is also false). A different auditor worked on RILY, as Marcum follows the SEC rules; the lead auditor can only serve the client for 5 consecutive years. As such, Koppikar’s derivative claim of disseminating MNPI is false.
17) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear)	“He appears to still not be familiar with the voting interest model of consolidation… why is a life science and tech partner signing an extremely complex investment company / broker dealer audit ???” i.e., auditor is unqualified	FALSE The auditor is fully qualified. Marcum is a highly respected auditor; they don't hire unqualified people, or assign them to clients they're unqualified to audit. RILY is continuing to use Marcum as the 2024 auditor.
18) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	"Now that the $RILY dividend is going away, this omission is serious stuff"	FALSE The dividend did not go away. It was reduced from $1.00/share to $0.50/share, to allow them to opportunistically allocate capital. 23Q4 and 24Q1

submitted by BleepBlimpBop to WallStreetbetsELITE [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 18:23 BleepBlimpBop $RILY: Long List of Short Seller Claims --- DEBUNKED

Ever-shifting Short Seller Claims

Compiled & Debunked

Sunlight kills vampires. To that end, I've compiled a list of (i) claimants (ii) claims (iii) reality (iv) definitive source proving reality.

Why Did They Target RILY?

Debunked Claims

Claimant	Claim	Reality
1) Wolfpack	Wolfpack “RILY will record investment losses of up to ~$700 million in 2023” FALSE 10-K	FALSE
2) Wolfpack	“new loan to CORZQ will work out just as badly as the last and end in default (again) before June 2023”	FALSE Repaid in full, early, on 1/6/2024.
3) Wolfpack	“The coupon rate on RILY’s seven issues of baby bonds ranges from 5% to 6.75%, which we believe to be far too low to compensate investors for the existential risk that accompanies these securities.”	FALSE Full redemption of May 2024 came early. Far more than sufficient cash to cover debt payments.
4) Wolfpack	“According to our analysis, 4 of RILY’s largest 7 corporate borrowers with outstanding loan balances of $295.3 million are at a high risk of default, or in the case of CORZQ, is already in default.”	FALSE a. Core Scientific Inc. repaid early and in full ($111MM of the “risk”) b. Exela Technologies repaid term loan in full ($55.8MM of the “risk”) c. Arena Group Holdings debt retired in full ($99MM of the “risk”). Publicly disclosed in the most recent 10-K for each company (search for "Riley" in the filing)
5) Wolfpack	“RILY’s NAV is Far Below the $1.1 Billion Minimum NAV Requirement That Is Required for the Nomura Credit Agreement Putting RILY at Risk of Collapse in 2023”	FALSE RILY is in full compliance with the Nomura credit agreement. Moreover, reflecting the strength of the relationship, Nomura even granted a no-fee extension when the 10-K filing was delayed. Also see 10-K for current status.
6) Wolfpack	“Over $200 Million of the Goodwill and Intangible Assets on RILY’s Balance Sheet is Attributable to its Telecom Rollup, which is Centered on Dial-up and DSL Internet:” - criticizing them as dying businesses with no value	FALSE Segment is extremely valuable. From just 2020 to 2023, the communications segment has returned over $212.2MM in adjusted EBITDA.
7) Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various	RILY committed fraud with loans and closing the FRG acquisition. "The fact $RILY closed the FRG deal while hiding the Kahn loan - an all PIK defaulted loan backed by $FRG shares - is a Hall of Fame worthy act of fraud. I thought after Enron/Sarbox we couldn't have something like this happen in US markets."	FALSE A law firm led an internal investigation, and an independent external investigation both found “The review confirmed what the Company previously disclosed: that the Company and its executives, including Bryant Riley, had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Prophecy.” “The results of the independent investigation confirmed that the Company and its executives had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Mr. Kahn or any of his affiliates. This independent investigation was conducted subsequent to the Company's February 22, 2024 disclosure of the internal review performed with the assistance of Sullivan & Cromwell LLP as outside counsel.” Also see 10-K
8) Marc Cohodes (AlderlaneEggs), ParrotCapital, Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various	The 10-K will never be filed. They can't produce audited financials.	FALSE Audited 10-K was filed. Delay was due to Audit committee fulfilling its responsibilities and proactively conducting investigations (internal and external).
9) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) + Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate) + ParrotCapital	Sullivan and Cromwell knew about Massive Fraud, and did a "sham investigation"	FALSE Sullivan and Cromwell is one of the most respected law firms, in the US and worldwide. "Sullivan & Cromwell continues to lead all law firm advisers in announced and completed global deals in 2023, according to Bloomberg and LSEG. The Firm advised on global announced deals totaling more than $345 billion, representing a 12.1 percent market share, per Bloomberg, and on completed global deals totaling more than $431 billion, representing a 16.9 percent market share, per LSEG." They're not compromising themselves for a relatively small client.
10) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear), Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Parrot Capital	Marcum is enabling Massive Fraud	FALSE Marcum is a respected audit firm, and 13th largest by revenue. "Marcum LLP advanced into the Top 15 in the 2023 Vault Accounting list of top-ranked accounting firms. Marcum climbed six levels to the No. 13 ranking overall and earned a ranking of 14 in prestige. The Firm also won Top 20 rankings across all Practice Area, Quality of Life, and Diversity categories, including several new classifications added this year."
11) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	Nomura is enabling Massive Fraud	FALSE Nomura is a global financial services company, and the oldest brokerage firm in Japan. They operate in a highly regulated industry. They're not putting themselves on the line for a relatively small client.
12) Parrot Capital	"The list of $RILY enablers is massive: Marcum LLP, Sullivan and Cromwell, Seeking Alpha, Holbrook Holdings, $AX Axos Bank, Many, many more."	FALSE There's no global conspiracy whereby these companies - all respected law firms, auditors, banks, and media outlets - are collectively colluding to enable RILY to commit fraud. Requires only two brain cells and one functioning synapse to know there's no grand collusion cabal between these disparate companies.
13) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Jonathan Weil at WSJ	Franchise Group shares used to secure Kahn loan: "It is unclear whether Kahn pledged the same shares twice—to both Prophecy and B. Riley."	FALSE As stated by the company, Simple UCC search disproves this. UCC # 202302295747
14) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	“Bryant Riley is on the Road, telling people the ‘audit partner at Marcum left’ and that ‘I have made mistakes’ “	FALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had hit the 5yr SEC rule, so he was never working on this year’s audit.
15) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	"So it turns out James La Rocca was Fired by MarcumLLP If nothing was wrong with prior $RILY Audits, why is he gone? This will be great in discovery of what exactly went on.	FALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had hit the 5yr SEC rule, so he was never working on this year’s audit.
16) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear)	“So Bryant Riley did disseminate MNPI back in March” in response to Cohodes claim that he told people the Marcum partner left	FALSE Cohodes claimed Bryant Riley was telling people the Marcum auditor left. Koppikar called that disseminating MNPI. Cohodes statement was false (and thus Koppikar's derivate claim is also false). A different auditor worked on RILY, as Marcum follows the SEC rules; the lead auditor can only serve the client for 5 consecutive years. As such, Koppikar’s derivative claim of disseminating MNPI is false.
17) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear)	“He appears to still not be familiar with the voting interest model of consolidation… why is a life science and tech partner signing an extremely complex investment company / broker dealer audit ???” i.e., auditor is unqualified	FALSE The auditor is fully qualified. Marcum is a highly respected auditor; they don't hire unqualified people, or assign them to clients they're unqualified to audit. RILY is continuing to use Marcum as the 2024 auditor.
18) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	"Now that the $RILY dividend is going away, this omission is serious stuff"	FALSE The dividend did not go away. It was reduced from $1.00/share to $0.50/share, to allow them to opportunistically allocate capital. 23Q4 and 24Q1

submitted by BleepBlimpBop to RILYStock [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 18:15 PissedCaucasian Doggo at the Grocery store yesterday.

So I went to the “Jewel” yesterday. That’s the regional version of Albertson’s here in Chicagoland. It was totally packed yesterday at afternoon rush hour. I see some foul looking woman coming up to the deli counter where I was waiting my turn and she has some type of poodle sitting in the child-seat of the cart. It’s dumb butt was sitting inside the part of the cart where I usually put my most precious items like meat or produce.
I kinda threw up in my mouth a little thinking about the deli meats being sliced a mere ten feet from that dog which was basically at meat slicer level. I had already ordered but I was thinking about the dog dander and fur that was probably flying around so I wrapped up my order early and refused the meat that was currently being sliced a stone’s throw from a dirty dog.
The dog had a vest on but in my city the nutters don’t even try to fake it anymore. The vest had no disability identification on it. A small poodle like that certainly isn’t of any handicapped help. Im assuming at best it was an ESA and at worst just probably a pet.
My brother who talks to everyone when he’s bored (he’s autistic) says to me and a lady next to me “hey look. A dog.”
Well now the door was open so I got into my most judgmental speaking voice and said.
“Yes it is a dog and how inappropriate! To bring a dog in a place with perishable food?! How completely selfish and disgusting “
Well the lady standing between my brother and looked at the ground and to be honest most people just completely ignored it! I got a few quick glances but that’s about it! I was really hoping someone would join in but everyone is just so numb to the idea of a dog in the deli and produce section that they just ignore it!
My city has truly gone to the dogs and this isn’t even the first poodle I’ve seen in the produce section at Jewel! I saw a perfectly fit young lady with a very large standard poodle in the fall at a different Jewel in town!
They are easily the most permissive towards dogs of any food store I’ve been to in town. Looks like I’ll have to go to Walmart because that’s the only place I’ve yet to see a dog here.
I know this story is kinda meandering but I’m just totally dumbfounded how dogs are in food stores and nobody says anything! It’s unfuckingbelivable!

submitted by PissedCaucasian to Dogfree [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 18:10 misterjoanna still life crisis

Self-taught artist (illustrations mostly, some painting) recently I picked up a pack of oil pastels on clearance. I did some practice sketches and shared them on social media and people loved them. That’s nice and I am grateful for the compliments, but unfortunately the praise for this work has me in a bit of a creative existential crisis. I work so hard on the art I want to make so it’s frustrating and disappointing that the feedback on these quick, smeary sketches is over-the-top when compared with my more complex illustrations. I want to sell art, but I also want to create what I love, and to me, selling prints of a lemon still life sketch feels like a safe, meaningless cash grab. Like cheating somehow.
I’m following the feedback though, I need to change my attitude toward what people like to see (and I probably need to see a blind spot that I’ve been missing in my own work) so I’m going to work more seriously with oil pastels as a medium and see what develops. I just wanted to hear from others about how you balance the demand of what is popular or trending in the art market against making the art you want to create and selling it successfully.
And scans of the pastel drawings are attached (cleaned up the backgrounds in photoshop and added a signature) critique is welcomed 🙏

submitted by misterjoanna to drawing [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 17:59 CIAHerpes In the caverns under Frost Hollow, I found the madness of the ancient gods

I sit alone in my room on the seventh floor, writing what will surely be my last will and testament. The heroin which allowed me to forget and to sleep for the last couple of years has lost its power to keep the screaming terrors away. The drug destroyed my body and mind, gradually eating away at them like a corrosive acid. Now I have become a slave to it. And yet, without it, I do not sleep for weeks, but instead continuously see the scenes from that terrible night running through my head on repeat as worsening waves of madness crash on the shores of my consciousness.
In the caverns under the town of Frost Hollow, I found the meaning of true madness. Ever since I escaped that den of horrors, it is difficult to tell what is real and what is only the feverish delirium of an unhinged mind.
Even now, they wait behind the door to this cheap, bare rented room. They drag their claws over the wood. I hear them hissing in that strange, ancient tongue, the one I first heard in the tombs of rock that had been undisturbed for countless millennia.
***
I had first heard rumors of an unexplored cavern from my friend, an experienced caver named Sonia who had explored caverns all over the world. I had been looking for some excitement in my life, some break from the constant monotony and boredom of simply working and sleeping. I had gone caving quite a few times over the year leading up to the trip, but I was not nearly as experienced and had never explored a supposedly virgin passageway of cavern before.
“How do you know no one’s gone down there?” I asked, curious. We sat across from each other at a local diner, getting some early breakfast before our planned descent. The sunrise was still another half-hour away, the sky flat and dark. We would be joined by Sonia’s husband, Phil, who would meet us there shortly after sunrise. I repressed an urge to yawn, chugging half of the steaming hot coffee in one long swallow. Sonia leaned close to me, her nearly colorless blue eyes reminding me of chunks of ice floating down a muddy stream.
“Phil’s friend just found it randomly,” she whispered before glancing around conspiratorially, as if she feared someone would care enough to eavesdrop on a conversation about a cave. “Well, it’s in the middle of a farm, and Phil’s friend, Jack Graysole, owns the entire property and surrounding woods. Jack says he noticed the cows kept going over to a certain spot in the field when it got really hot during the summertime. They would all gather around this little indentation in the grass. After seeing it a few times, Jack got curious and went to investigate what the cows were doing.
“He found a small hole in the ground, almost entirely covered by weeds and grass. He said he felt a cool breeze constantly blowing out of the hole, a breeze that smelled like burning matches and charred metal. After bringing out some shovels and digging down a couple feet, Jack realized that the hole wasn’t a hole at all, but the beginning of a steep passageway leading deep into the bowels of the earth.”
***
The owner of the land decided to unofficially call the newly-discovered cavern Graysole Caverns. Out of respect for him, this is also the name we all used. This is the story of how I found myself in the bowels of a strange subterranean tunnel, a tunnel where creatures beyond my comprehension slunk and hunted, skittering monstrosities who would be more at home in a nightmare.
After grabbing a couple coffees to take with us, Sonia drove over to Graysole Farms. Cows stood out in the grassy fields, huddled in tight circles as they repetitively chewed. The thin silhouette of Jack Graysole waited for us next to the herd. He had a face like a raisin, I thought to myself. I watched his thin, shaking body standing in the middle of an overgrown grassy field. Jack stared down blankly at something only he could see. Sonia and I started unloading some equipment from the car while we waited for Phil.
Once we had the backpacks loaded with some simple supplies, such as water, food, headlamps, rope, a couple extra batteries, some buck knives, and radios, we headed over to accompany Jack. We weren’t taking much, as we didn’t really expect to be down there for more than six or seven hours at the most.
Jack Graysole’s withered old face was as slack and expressionless as that of a corpse. He stared down at the ground as if he were in a trance, waving back and forth slowly on his feet like a plant in a light breeze.
“Jack?” Sonia called out as we approached. I could hear the man’s teeth chattering as we got nearer.
“Hey, what are you doing over here this early? You interested in accompanying us down there?” Sonia joked. But Jack might as well have been totally deaf for all the reaction he gave. Sonia glanced over at me with an anxious expression. I wondered if the old man was having a stroke.
I quickly walked over to where he stood, staring down at a black circular hole about three feet across directly in front of his feet. The entrance to Graysole Caverns stared up at us like a sightless pupil. As I drew within a few feet of Jack and looked straight into his blank eyes, I noticed something alarming.
His pupils were quickly dilating and constricting before my eyes. They would shrink to tiny pinpoints, then, a couple seconds later, rapidly expand until they became dark and serious. I could see his thready, rapid heartbeat pulsating in a vein on the side of his temple. Alarmed, I reached forward and put my hand on his shoulder.
Instantly, he came to life, like a man waking up from a nightmare. Shrieking, he looked at me with fully dilated pupils, reminding me of a panicked deer surrounded by wolves. His quavering old man’s voice shook with ineffable existential horror and mortal fear.
He took a step back away from us, seeming to realize where he was and what he was doing. He looked around, confused, then straight at me and Sonia. His eyes focused with anger and fear, as if we were demons here to drag him down to Hell. His eyes flicked back and forth between us constantly. Jack raised a trembling hand and pointed it straight at my heart.
“It’s you,” he said, his voice dropping to a harsh whisper. His teeth chattered despite the warm spring air. His skin looked deathly pale. “You’re the one who will bring an end to humanity, who will release the ruler of nightmares upon us.” He continued to point accusingly for a long moment at me, his face turning chalk-white. Then his eyes rolled up in his head. Slowly, he stumbled and fell backwards onto the soft grass of the field.
“Jack!” Sonia cried, running over to the old man. Jack’s breaths had started to come in slow, drawn-out gurgles, like a man with a slit throat trying to breathe. Frothy blood bubbled from his lips as they turned blue. Staring up at the endless expanse of cloudless sky, he exhaled one last shuddering breath and died.
***
Phil showed up only a couple minutes later. He found me and Sonia in a state of utter panic, both of us bent double over the still body of Jack. Sonia was on the phone with 911, and I was trying to give Jack chest compressions. The way his fingernails and lips shone with that cyanotic blue cast made me feel sick and weak. I knew it was futile, that I was simply playing with a corpse at this point, but I didn’t know what else to do. I felt if I didn’t do something, I might explode.
I heard the faint wailing of sirens approaching as Sonia’s panicked voice continued babbling to the 911 operator. Phil stood by her side, his tall, dark features searching and lost.
“Oh God, I think he’s dead!” Sonia cried over and over to the operator, as if she thought the operator could do anything about it. I didn’t hear what the operator said in response. As the ambulance pulled in, I gave up on chest compressions. I stood up and took a step back, looking sadly down on the kindly old man’s dead body.
The paramedics ran over. Phil, Sonia and I stood back while they worked on the corpse, trying to shock the heart back into life. But Jack’s open eyes stayed glazed as they stared sightlessly up into eternity.
***
The paramedics left. A couple police officers stayed behind to ask us a few routine questions. Eventually, after an hour or so, they left, too.
“What a fucked-up day,” Phil said, shaking his head grimly. “Do you guys still want to do this? Maybe it’s an omen from God telling us to go home.” Sonia and I exchanged a glance, then we both nodded at the same time.
“Definitely,” she said. “It’s sad what happened to Jack, but realistically, we don’t know what’s going to happen to this property now that he’s passed away. It might get sold or taken by the bank for all we know. This could be our one and only chance to explore this cave.”
“I don’t believe in omens. I’m still down,” I said, feeling slightly sick from the experience. I still remembered how Jack’s body had cracked under the weight of my chest compressions, how his ribs had snapped like bones shattering in greedy hands. “We’ll do it in memory of Jack. I plan to put this up on YouTube.” I pulled my GoPro out of my bag, turning it on. Phil groaned at that.
“Do we have any idea how far down this cave goes?” Phil asked. I felt a sense of relief now that the topic had changed from the death of the old man.
“I sent a little camera down on a rope, but it only went about a hundred feet,” Sonia responded. “It’s pretty steep at first, then it levels out. I couldn’t really see much after it leveled out, but it looks like it should be easy to climb down. There’s plenty of handholds, lots of jutting rocks.”
Phil put on his headlamp and small pack. As he crawled down into the hole, his tanned face looked up at us and gave us one last devilish grin. Once he had gone down a few dozen feet, Sonia started descending. She looked excited and happy. I noticed how she couldn’t stop smiling as she disappeared from view.
I watched their lights grow smaller and dimmer in the circular tunnel. I marveled at how perfectly circular the entrance was. It almost didn’t even look natural.
Taking a deep breath in, I followed my friends down into the dark.
***
“This isn’t too bad,” I said as I climbed down. The jutting rocks gave plenty of handholds and footholds for us. It wasn’t so tight that it felt like a coffin, either.
“It only gets easier from here!” Sonia called up.
“How do you know?” I asked. “You said you’ve never been here before.” She laughed.
“I know. Probably just wishful thinking,” she said. Far below us, Jack’s voice drifted up, faint and weak. He had already reached the bottom.
“The tunnel really opens up down here, guys,” he called. “It’s somewhat… bizarre, though.”
“What do you mean by that?” Sonia asked. I looked down, seeing Sonia and I would reach the bottom in seconds. “Forget it, I’ll let it be a surprise.” I heard her drop down. Slowly and carefully, I lowered myself down the last few feet. There was a short fall onto a smooth granite floor. I looked up, seeing what Phil and Sonia were so mesmerized by.
“Oh, wow,” I said, speechless. I blinked rapidly, wondering if the image would clear like a mirage. The tunnel was cut into a perfectly triangular shape, each side about seven feet long. The ceiling met in a point above our heads.
All along the smooth walls of gray rock, I saw thousands of black orbs peeking out. They looked similar to obsidian, but they were perfectly smooth and circular, each about the size of an orange. They were formed into interlocking diagonal patterns and followed the tunnel straight down as far as the eye could see.
“What is this place?” Sonia asked, taking a tentative step forward. I looked up, seeing the distant pinpoint of sunlight far above our heads. Our voices continued to echo off down the massive tunnels, disappearing in eerie waves into the thick curtain of shadows.
“Are you recording all this?” Phil asked me. I laughed, giddy.
“Of course! This is internet gold right here,” I said. “No one’s going to believe that this isn’t man-made, however. I can’t even believe it. Do you think Jack was playing a joke on us or something?”
“Jack had the sense of humor of a wet paper towel,” Phil whispered, shaking his head. “No, he wouldn’t do something like this.”
“Well, let’s go check it out,” Sonia said, taking a step forward. Her headlamp bobbed up and down rapidly, throwing dancing shadows through the triangular tunnel. It continued straight ahead, without the slightest deviation or curve, disappearing off into a dark point in the distance.
***
We walked as fast as we could, excited to see where, if anywhere, the strange tunnel led. Phil, always the conspiracy theorist, babbled excitedly.
“This has to be aliens, man,” he said, running his fingers through his dark hair. “I bet that scientists will find out this shit is millions of years old when we get back up and tell everyone. Maybe aliens came to earth in ancient times and made a bunch of stuff underground.” Gradually, as we walked, I noticed the tunnel opening up. The pointed triangular ceiling rose up higher above our heads and the walls moved outwards, as we were walking up a triangular funnel. At first, it was so subtle that I didn’t believe it when Sonia pointed it out.
“No, look,” she said, raising her hand above her head. “When we first started down this weird tunnel, my fingers were only maybe a foot away from the top. Now it’s a couple feet.” I was about to respond when our headlamps illuminated something standing in the middle of the tunnel.
“What the fuck is that?” I whispered, stopping cold in my tracks. Phil and Sonia looked up at the abomination at the same time. Its back was to us. It stood nearly as tall as the tunnel, which was now about twenty feet high.
The bottom half looked black and spidery with dozens of long, jointed legs. A bloody, white spine rose out of the mass of legs. Inhumanly long, skeletal arms stretched out in front of it. Its face was pointed away from us, but the back of its head resembled an enormous pointed skull with deep fissures like the cracks of an earthquake running through the bone. The abomination stayed as still as a statue, and for a long moment, I wondered if we were looking at some macabre work of art.
Then, suddenly, one of its insectile legs twitched. A moment later, the other legs started jerking and twisting. There was a sound like bones shattering as it rose up to its full height, turning around to face us.
Its face was like something from a nightmare, melting and reforming constantly like dripping candle wax. I would see a black eye appear on its forehead, then a grinning mouth on its chin, then the features would get sucked back into the folds of melting flesh. After a few moments, two enormous eyes appeared on its face, dark and cold like craters on the surface of the Moon. The mouths and noses disappeared back into the dripping skin, and only the two lidless eyes remained, emanating a cold, reptilian consciousness beyond the ability of my mind to comprehend. I felt terror radiating from its body like freezing waves.
“Free me,” it cried in a gurgling voice that seethed with insanity. It had a shrieking, metallic ringing behind every word that gave it an alien quality. “Free me, and I will give you the waters of eternal life. Within me, I contain the seeds of immortality. Within the nightmares, we live forever, always together, never alone.”
“Who are you?” I asked, terrified. The black reptilian skin of the enormous beast glistened as it knelt down, its massive face drawing near to mine. A sideways mouth burst out of the liquified flesh, showing hundreds of fangs growing like tumors from its white, bloodless gums. The fangs varied in size from only a couple inches to long, sword-like projections that stabbed into the creature’s flesh, causing white blood glittering with rainbows to fall like raindrops all around me.
“I have many names,” it hissed, its thousand voices rising and falling in crashing waves of sound. “I was present at the beginning, when this planet was no more than dead cliffs and endless freezing oceans. Those holy ones who search for us, the ancient ones, call me Niralahoth.”
“How do we free you?” Phil asked, looking terrified. He held Sonia’s hand tightly.
“By letting me into your mind and body,” Niralahoth cried, shaking the cavern. “I was thrown down here, cursed and forgotten. I cannot leave this place of shadows within this body. But in the body of another, my consciousness can be free, and the seeds of new life can spread beyond this prison.”
“There’s no way anyone’s going to do that,” I said, my eyes widening as Niralahoth’s reptilian skull turned towards me in fury. “I mean, you’re asking one of us to give up our individuality, our lives, right?”
“I am asking you to become one with me and gain power undreamt of by mortals,” it cried. “I have within me the fountain of life, the waters that send death away screaming.” I glanced anxiously at Phil and Sonia, wondering if we would have to run.
“The answer is no,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, we can’t do that,” Phil said, backing me up. “But, anyways, I think our trip has ended. It’s time to turn around…”
“You will never return,” Niralahoth cried, skittering away from us. “If you will not accept salvation, then you must accept death.” Within seconds, it slunk away from us, backpedaling on its many skittering legs into the shadows.
***
All around us, a rumbling started.
There was a pounding that crashed through the rock tunnel, as if an insane blacksmith were hammering on a massive anvil. The ringing of crashing rock started off slowly, with a few stones smashing down around us with heavy blasts of sound. Within seconds, the cacophony sped up, rising into a constant stream of destruction. The black orbs were spinning in place all up and down the tunnel, their glossy obsidian surfaces flashing with sparks of blue light.
“It’s collapsing!” Phil cried, running back in the direction we came, holding Sonia’s hand as she tried to keep up with him. I could only stare for a long moment, not sure what to do. It seemed that the direction Phil was heading stood closer to total collapse.
“Wait!” I cried, but my voice was drowned out in the destruction all around us. I felt a rock smash into my shoulder, sending me down to my feet. I heard Phil give a scream of pain, then another stone came down and smashed into my forehead. I remember seeing everything spinning around me as the world went black.
***
I awoke to find my headlamp still shining straight up in the dusty tunnel. Large chunks of the tunnel had slid out of place and crashed to the stone floor. The granite chunks that had fallen looked unnaturally smooth, most of them in the shapes of cylinders or cubes and varying in size from that of an egg to that of a small car.
My head throbbed. It felt as if a tight belt of fire were wrapped around my temples. Groaning, I put my fingers up to my forehead. They came away slick with blood.
Slowly, I started pushing myself up on my feet. I was relieved that nothing seemed broken. I had a deep gash running from the center of my scalp down to my left temple and some shallower cuts on my shoulders and back, but I knew none of that was life-threatening.
“Sonia?” I whispered, my voice coming out weak and strained. I reached into my pack and found a bottle of water. I chugged it quickly in one long swallow.
“Phil?” I cried again, this time stronger. I heard a soft weeping nearby. Staggering, I followed the sound.
Sonia was bloody and covered in cuts and scrapes, sitting next to Phil’s prone form. I saw Phil’s right arm pinned under a massive slab of granite. His arm disappeared from the elbow down in a spreading puddle of thick, dark blood.
“Oh God, Max, I think he’s hurt really bad,” she wept. Phil’s eyes rolled wildly in his head, his face pale and bloodless. I looked down the way we had come, seeing the entire tunnel blocked by large slabs of stone, many with strange, black orbs peeking out like the lenses of cameras.
***
I don’t know how much time passed. My phone died after a day, and then we were counting the endless darkness in breaths and tears.
Phil swam in and out of consciousness as his arm putrefied and blackened around the crush site. After a couple days, Sonia and I agreed that something had to be done. We told Phil we would need to amputate his arm. He was half-delirious, but he came back long enough to understand us and nod weakly.
We made a fire with Phil’s pack, trying to find fuel to throw in it to get it roaring. As it grew, I saw one of the black orbs near the flames abruptly ignite, as if it had been covered in gasoline. Blue, almost colorless flames rose from its surface. We started throwing the small black orbs on the fire until it rose high in the air. I sanitized the buck knife with the flames and pulled a rope tourniquet tight around Phil’s arm. He was conscious but seemingly insane, talking to himself more than anyone else.
“How are we going to get the car started without a key?” he gurgled to someone only he could see. “We need to look around. It has to be here somewhere.”
“Phil, can you hear me, bud? We need to fix your arm. We need to get you out of this mess. OK?” I said as comfortingly as I could. Phil’s eyes rolled wildly, but they didn’t meet my own. I sighed and looked over at Sonia.
“Let’s do it,” I said, giving a grim nod.
I pulled the buck knife out, slicing quickly down through the flesh next to the tourniquet. His veins throbbed like fat worms as the blackened, necrotic skin split easily under the blade, releasing a rancid-smelling gas that hissed out of the wound.
I couldn’t believe how hard it was to slice all the way through the arm. It felt like I was stuck in that hellish task forever. Phil’s eyes rolled in his head as his skin turned the color of clotted milk.
“God, Jesus, make it stop,” Phil whispered over and over, exhaling ragged, pain-filled breaths. The blood spurted from the blackened, dying tissue all over the dust-covered cavern floor, covering my hands in its warm, slick embrace.
After what was probably only three or four minutes, but felt like hours, I had sliced all the way down to the bone. The infected tissue of his arm spurted great gouts of orange pus mixed with rivulets of blood. The hard part was over.
Standing up, I took my steel-toe sneaker and stomped down on his arm as hard as I could. Phil cried out in a powerful voice, as if all the agony and suffering in the world was contained in that one shriek. The bone snapped under my weight with a sound like a tree branch cracking. A moment later, Phil rolled away from the rock that had pinned me in place for so long. Something alien and spongy was shoved into my face, a mass of destroyed red tissue pulsating in time with a runaway heartbeat. At first, shell-shocked and revolted, my mind couldn’t comprehend that I was looking at the stump of Phil’s mutilated arm. I hardened my heart and forced the giddiness and madness to the back of my mind. The time had come to cauterize the wound.
“Sonia, give it to me,” I said with a tremor in my voice. I reached out a hand towards her, a hand stained with Phil’s blood. It looked as if I were wearing a wet, crimson glove. Sonia only stared blankly at me for a long moment, however. A surge of anger ran up my chest.
“Sonia, toughen the fuck up! He’s going to die if you just sit there!” I swore at her, hearing my deep, angry voice bounce around the caverns. Sonia pulled back, as if she were struck. Inwardly, I cursed having a woman as my only able-bodied companion in this situation. She was a competent enough caver, but what would happen if violence and blood came over us? What would happen if, or more realistically when, we needed to fight?
Grimly, Sonia leaned forward and yanked the burning black orb out of the roaring fire, handing it to me on the end of a buck knife that had just barely pierced its hard, strange exterior. The handle of the knife felt coarse and splintery under my filthy skin. I put it to the spongy stump of Phil’s arm. The stump twitched violently. Phil tried to pull away as black smoke rose from the burning flesh.
There was a smell like bacon sizzling. The searing meat of Phil’s arm blackened and crisped under the heat of the orb, which had become no more than a cylinder of glowing blue embers by this point. I felt simultaneously sick and giddy. I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or vomit. I felt like I was on the verge of some kind of madness, that the stress and insanity of the experience had started to shatter my mind.
His eyes rolled back in his head and he appeared to go into a seizure for a few seconds. With a long exhalation of breath, he finally, mercifully, lost consciousness. It’s hard to admit it, even this close to the end, but a small, sick piece of me was jealous of Phil. Most likely, he would be dead soon, maybe within hours, while Sonia and I would slowly starve and dehydrate like animals over a period of weeks. I looked at her lithe body and soft skin, seeing the feminine curves of her hips and chest. She was a beautiful woman. I knew Phil to be a lucky man. At least, before this trip, he was.
I watched her body, wondering if I had what it took to eat her or Phil if I had to. Did I have an iron heart that would allow me to slice into my friends and consume their raw, cold flesh? Perhaps, by that point, it would be hunger and madness driving me forward, and I wouldn’t even hesitate. I shuddered at the very thought.
***
I fell asleep that night, having strange dreams of massive gods with melting faces sitting in judgment in a circle around me. We had very little food or water left. No one knew we were down here. Rescue was not coming.
When I awoke, I found myself alone. Phil had died from his injuries while I slept, the black streaks of septic shock spreading up his arm towards his heart. His eyes stared sightlessly up at the rock ceiling.
“Sonia?” I called out, my heart racing as I sat up. “Where are you?” My headlamp was growing dim. I looked in my pack, realizing I was on the last of my batteries. I saw a silhouette walking out of the darkness, the thin, pale form of Sonia. She was trembling badly.
“I saw them,” she said. “Niralahoth and its priests. The priests aren’t human. They look reptilian with sideways mouths and too many eyes.” She shuddered.
“Why would you do that?” I asked. Her eyes grew distant.
“You know we’re not getting out of here alive,” she said. “Not on our own. I wanted to see what it offered. It says that if we take a piece of its nightmare into us, we will gain the power to leave this place, that it simply wants to see the surface and spread its nightmares there.” I shook my head.
“Insanity,” I muttered. “We’d be better off dead.” Sonia nodded.
“My thoughts exactly,” she responded grimly. I didn’t realize what she meant until the next day, when I woke up and found her hanging next to Phil’s body, her tongue swollen and blue as it poked out of her cyanotic lips. And then I was truly alone.
***
Soon after Sonia committed suicide, the last of the batteries for the headlamp died. I had run out of food and had only a small sip of water left. I don’t know how much time passed in the darkness, starving and raving, following the tunnel by running my hands over the walls. I heard many things skittering in the darkness, and a few times, I heard the demonic voice of Niralahoth as it split and distorted.
“You are on death’s door,” it hissed. “Will you not drink from the fountain of life?” I couldn’t tell where the voice came from in the maddening blackness. It seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere. I had lost nearly all of my sanity in that pit of shadows by this point. I tried laughing constantly to keep my spirits up, and when that failed, I simply cried.
“I’ll do it,” I wailed. “I’ll do it. Just let me see the sky again. Get me out of here, Niralahoth.” Everything went deathly silent all around me, then a laugh rang out like the grinding of glass.
In front of me, I saw a tornado of fire descending from the ceiling, surrounding the massive, spidery form of Niralahoth. It rose its skeletal arms upwards, as if it were Zeus calling down lightning. In the sudden brightness, I saw the fiery form of snakes slithering and centipedes skittering forwards in that tornado, each massive creature sculpted from flames in the spinning cyclone of energy. Niralahoth reached into the tornado of fire with its sharp points of fingers and plucked something small from it. The fire instantly dissipated. In its hand, I saw a tiny, swirling orb that looked like it contained a firestorm within it.
“The nightmare seed,” Niralahoth gurgled as it skittered forward towards me. I could only stare, open-mouthed and starving. I hadn’t slept for days, it felt like, and everything seemed slow and unreal.
In a blur, its skeletal arm shot out and forced the orb into my mouth. Despite the fire raging within it, it felt freezing cold. As it touched my tongue, it gave off a sensation like frostbite all throughout my mouth. I screamed and tried spitting it out, but it seemed to have a mind of its own. It started liquifying, dripping down my throat.
I felt something cancerous and sick spreading throughout my body, radiating out from my heart and stomach to every inch of it. I tried to scream, but it caught behind my teeth. I fell to my knees, clawing at my face as that insane, alien laugh continued resounding all down the tunnel. I fell unconscious and woke up under a beautiful sky in the fields of Graysole Farms.
***
Soon after, I realized that my life would never be the same. Everywhere I went, I could hear the wailing voice of Niralahoth. Behind the trees, I always saw skittering shadows, creatures with long, spidery legs that stalked me every day and night. I slept with every light in the house turned on, yet when I woke up, they would all be shut off, and I would find myself in darkness, next to something in the bed with far too many legs and a face that dripped like burning wax.
I sold everything I owned and tried to move far away, to give as much distance between myself and those cursed caverns as I could, but the nightmares followed me like a shadow. I realize what a fool I was in those ephemeral moments of madness. Sonia was much wiser than myself; I should have killed myself or died rather than allowing that thing inside of me.
Even now, I can feel it creeping through my heart, spreading through my blood. I feel it trying to crawl its way out of my throat, the thin, black legs peeking out at the back of my esophagus.
I only hope that, when I finally jump and feel my bones shatter against the concrete far below, I will kill whatever is inside of me. For I fear the consequences for the world if it were to escape.

submitted by CIAHerpes to nosleep [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 17:58 E1ppa Hint on what to do next (kinda mid early-late game?)

So, I've done voided/non-voided runs as Grey, same for Lily (though haven't seen anything of notice on non-voided), talked with NPC at resting point as Cif every time, managed to find Bee as Cif. After that, Cif act seems to abruptly end and I don't to know, what is a good way to progress further. I'll list things that I've managed to find on my own so far:

"Draw brand" rooms that I've seen: void memory, void wings, void blade, seal with the statue saying "My love", seal with the statue saying "How bothersome", room which gives locust number for shortcut npc to spawn, room with empty chest which says that it was forcibly opened -- I think that's all I've found
White void? -- whatever that was if you enter the stairs without four-eyed statue at the end of the voided run -- reached the end with some entity in the middle. Makes sound when knocking -- I wasn't able to activate it. Tried 6 hits - 6 seconds -- didn't work, same for 10 and 23 times. Idk what it does
Large carcass ending which I didn't get at all, but I guess it was the first ending I've seen by sheer guesswork of how many times I have to punch it. Don't know if there is anything else in that region other than a shrimp that runs away (does it do anything else?) and white monster that crashes the game.
"Enter your brand" room -- I guess this weird thing says boulders' lines. Managed to crash my game by kicking it too many times (?) and seeing the black shadow of Cif (?)
B223 room with four-eyed demon brand. Don't know who is it referring to, dropped down opened the chest with 99 locusts and read a hint about room 000.
Entered B000 as Grey and picked the upgraded rod. Don't know what is it for. Managed to get it by killing snake and head and then manipulating the level number via blocks of ui.
Entered B000 as Cif with traitors alive -- room is empty. Entered B000 as Cif with traitors dead -- Lev seems to have the upgraded rod, cutscene plays and that's it. I guess cutscene suggests that Cif is the four-eyed demon.
Traded with shortcut npc for all hints. Found 4 out of 5 shortcuts. I don't know yet, what "break all glass before falling" refers to, but I guess it is just a shortcut.
Managed to find some hidden memories from nonogramm (Is that what they are called?) puzzles.

It seems that I don't have anything left to find in Cif's route, though at the same time my knowledge feels quite incomplete in that part. The fact that you can pick upgraded rod only as Grey and presumably Lily (I haven't tried that yet) suggests that these two acts should be at least the beginning of the next big-ish sequence of new stuff which I think is present. I've noticed that the stuff you pick as grey is not present for lily except for the void rod -- should I try picking up upgraded rod as grey/lily and then go to B000 as Cif and then Lev would be without the rod? It also feels like there is more to the head (Gor?) I've haven't seen as it wants you to say hi to her sister with a missing eye -- I don't think I've met this character either. In hard mode I don't know what the old man npc in the end is for either.
I guess need some directions what to look for (preferably without giving away the whole thing). I don't really want to go through the hard mode without a good reason (unfortunately, I don't like it as much) so if there is anything major to be done in other routes, I'd like to prioritize that

submitted by E1ppa to VoidStranger [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 17:51 sportingpool Design for a new Champions League

The goal is to have a Champions League that includes as many European Nations as possible, while at the same time satisfying the financial needs of big clubs and keeping the established and popular leagues at a national level intact.
It should increase the frequency a top team plays any given other top team, without expanding the schedule too much and without increasing the stress on top players.
If group play, quite boring at times, gets a little boost, it would be appreciated as well.
Setup: 42 Teams participate. 21 spots for Top 4: England 6, Italy 5, Spain 5, Germany 5
21 spots for other countries, determined using a 5y Ranking and qualifying rounds
Each country gets to choose its own Champions League participants independently. If England wants to include the same 6 clubs each year, so be it.
Group play: 2 groups with 21 teams each. 10 dates on the schedule.
A game day in a group consists of 7 tournaments featuring 3 teams. They play each other once for 45 minutes. The home team plays the first and final game. Would look like this:
7.00pm Arsenal London - Ajax Amsterdam 8.15pm Ajax Amsterdam - FC Barcelona 9.30pm Arsenal London - FC Barcelona
In this design, each teams has 3 home tournaments and 6 road dates in Europe.
Additionally the opening tournaments are played overseas (USA, Asia).
Each team would play all other 20 teams in its group once, which is highly desirable. The current proposal with 7 random opponents out of 35 fails spectacularly in that regard.
It would also match up top teams much more frequently than in the past. Each top team would play any given other top European team at least once every 2 years on average.
Roster rule: Each player on a roster can only play in one 45 minute game each day.
Despite having more dates on the schedule, the minutes played by the top players would decrease slightly during group play, while the depth players are utilized more.
Including games with this 45minute design into the soccer schedule optimizes a lot: The clubs get to play the maximum amount of games possible given their roster, getting a full workload out of everybody. It would also increase happiness: Everybody gets to play.
Knockout stage: Standard play over 90mins and 2 legs. The top 12 out of 21 teams in each group qualify. The top 4 get a bye for a Play-In round that matches A5vB12, A6vB11 and so on. There will be no more draws for the knockout rounds. In the past too often an unbalanced draw pooling the top teams on one side resulted from it.
Round of 16 will match the group winner with the most points and the lowest seed left, followed by the the other group winner and so on.
Kickoff Times: The best time to kick off a standard midweek game is between 7 and 8 in the evening, local time. Right now some of the biggest Champions League matches that go to extra time or a shootout finish around midnight, thus completely excluding kids or people that have to work early. Not desirable at all. Even the regular finish to a game is too late. Every game should start at 8pm continental european time at the latest.
Schedule: To make room for the 10 group stage dates, the Nations League (which was uncalled for in the first place) gets cancelled. The qualifying matches for the World Cup and EURO can be spread out more over a 2 year time period. Some, if not most friendlies should be cancelled as well. By including a Champions League week overseas, teams can cancel some of their ineffective preseason marketing tours in USA and Asia as well.
Refereeing/Offside: The calibration of technical aid (VaR) will continue for some time. Offside needs immediate clarity and fixing:
1)The linesman (who has to be a full time and well paid professional wearing a number) always immediately signals for Offside, if he has detected it.
2 )The referee never immediately stops play. Instead he waits for confirmation from the VaR, who in real-time doublechecks it. This check has to take at least 10 seconds.
Finances: The prize money distribution is not sensible as well. A random bounce in a close early knockout match should not potentially be worth €50m. Spreading the money out more even would reduce revenue volatility and make budgeting easier.
Real Madrid: Real is an integral part of European Soccer. It’s current management crew with help from UEFA has cheated soccer for a long time. A new and better Real should be forgiven and included. Real has to be part of the new Champions League right away. Otherwise something would be missing. Real has legions of fans, and is owned by it’s members. These Socios could give up 25% of their economic interest to bring the debt from the Stadium renovation down to a sustainable level.
Let’s go do this !!! 👍 😊
Part 1 https://www.reddit.com/BayernMunich/comments/1cx9dla_decade_of_cheating_how_real_madrid_and_uefa/ Part 2 https://www.reddit.com/BayernMunich/comments/1cxb5g8/a_better_world_how_the_champions_league_and/

submitted by sportingpool to BayernMunich [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 17:48 TheLastRiter I never should have gone to this farmhouse alone [Part 2]

[Part 1]
Day 3
I woke the next morning from the sunshine in my eyes. My head was resting ever so slightly on Eli's arm as we had both fallen asleep on my bed after I begged him to stay. I blanched in horror at the drool stain I had left on the arm of his white t-shirt.
I began to slowly move myself and retreat downstairs as the memories of the night before came flooding back. How I had broken, screaming in terror, and how Eli had saved me, not knowing the true reason he found me curled up on the floor crying.
As I stepped off the bed, my leg got snagged in the frilly bed cover, and I went crashing to the ground, making quite the noise as I landed. With a yawn, Eli's eyes opened, and I felt myself blushing as he turned to look at me.
We both kind of stared at each other for a moment, not speaking. Eli opened his mouth, then closed it again as if unsure of what to say.
"Coffee?" I asked quickly, filling the awkwardness of our situation.
"Please," Eli said, smiling.
In minutes, I had a pot brewing as I leaned against the kitchen counter. Eli was picking up the scattered photographs from the floor and looking at them quizzically.
"Why do you have pictures of the Harmons?" Eli asked, showing me the photos of the yellow-haired man and his family.
"Is that their names? I found them out in the barn under a blanket," I answered as I rooted around the cupboards for two mugs.
"In the barn? I cleaned it out just last week. No way I would have missed this trunk," Eli said while examining the wooden trunk with its simple rustic hinges. It was plain and unadorned with any embellishments. Basic as basic could be.
"Well, you must have missed it because it was there," I said, putting emphasis on the "was" in a way that reminded me of my mother chastising my father.
"That's so weird," he said, shifting through the photos while sitting at the table. I brought him a cup of coffee and sugar, and he began absentmindedly adding a lot of sugar to his coffee. About six scoops later, he began stirring and sipping it.
"Well, anyways, thanks for coming last night. I wasn't myself, I hope you know that I'm not some damsel in distress," I said quickly, like word vomit, and I even chuckled at the end, feeling like a total weirdo.
"What happened anyway? You didn't say last night," he said, putting the photos down in a jumble on the table.
I paused for a moment, considering how to answer. As I sipped my coffee, I stared out into the yard beside the barn where the scarecrow stood, glancing around the edge of the barn, hanging limply in his hole. His appearance once again sad and dejected instead of murderous and terrifying.
"I was just scared, I had a nightmare, and it just scared me," I said dumbly, trying not to turn crimson again under his intense gaze.
His eyes seemed to cut right through my lie, as if he were staring directly into my being before he simply glanced away out the window. We fell silent again, and I filled some moments by sipping my drink. It seemed to revitalize me; the sun and the company made me feel secure.
"Why were you here anyways?" I asked after a moment.
"I heard screaming, so I came running. I live just on the other side of the grass there, behind the barn," Eli said, pointing to the barn out the window.
"Must be really close, I didn't see any houses on the way in," I said, prying deeper into the situation.
"It's actually a trailer, maybe like two hundred yards from here. I was outside getting some air when I heard you scream. So, I came running," Eli said, finishing his cup of coffee and placing it in between us like a barrier, as if he was hiding something.
"Could you, uh, not do that?" Eli asked, with an uncertain grin on his face.
"What am I doing exactly?" I asked, startled for a moment, my stomach doing a sort of flip.
"It's just that you like stare at people. You've been staring at me for like my whole cup of coffee, I don't think you blinked the whole time," Eli said, averting his eyes shyly.
"No, I don't," I said until I realized he was right. I never noticed that about myself.
"Right, well, I've got to go. I am probably going to start painting today, so you might see me in a bit," Eli said, rising and heading to the door.
"Wait," I said, grabbing his arm for only a moment before releasing it like it was scalding hot.
Eli glanced at my hand for a moment, then at his arm, before he, too, blushed crimson.
"I just wanted to say thank you again. For last night, I mean. Well, what I mean is I appreciate it," I said, my eyes downcast in, for some reason, shame. Like he had seen me at my weakest and it weighed on my gaze appropriately.
"It was nothing, besides I didn't get much sleep with your constant snoring," Eli said, laughing at me.
"I so don't snore," I said, swatting at him but unable to control a smile creeping up onto my face.
After Eli left, I felt instantly colder, my eyes kept returning to the scarecrow. I grabbed my camera from upstairs and went out to the yard. I scanned the dirt for anything out of the ordinary. There was no blood, or anything on the dirt where the scarecrow stood just last night. I slowly made my way to the scarecrow, but nothing happened. I snapped a photo of the inanimate object, and it didn't even flinch. I poked it, but all I felt was straw underneath its clothes. I removed its mask, expecting a severed head, but it was just straw. Nothing was here but straw. I dropped the mask on the ground and took another photo proving it was just straw and nothing else.
An idea struck me as I regarded the source of my torment. If I planned to stay even one more night here, I needed to do something about this scarecrow. I rooted around in the barn, a series of tools hung from nails in the wall. On one hung what I was searching for. An old rusted shovel with a dirty wooden handle that was worn smooth from use.
I returned to the side of the barn beside the scarecrow, knowing for whatever reason this thing only came when night fell and didn't react at all when I moved or touched it during the day.
Before my morning coffee had even settled, I began to dig at the dusty earth, loose and easy to dig, it came away in shovelfuls. Within an hour, I had a fair-sized hole in front of me. Sweat dripped from my brow, and when I wiped under my eyes, they came away black from last night's makeup. Glancing at the field of grass and knowing Eli could appear at any time, I decided to head inside and shower. The hot water was a godsend, and I lingered for longer, letting the water drain down my head and back, my eyes closed, trying to forget the images from the last two nights. I should just pack up my car and leave right this minute. But how could I explain this to my family? I decided to go through with my plan and bury the scarecrow. I could last one more night if I prepared for it.
I left the shower and dressed modestly, in another one of my old rock t-shirts and a pair of shorts. I returned to the yard and with a satisfying push, I dropped the scarecrow into the pit. It fell with a nice thud, and I smiled at my power over it in the day; it's just at night when I should fear it.
As I threw the first shovel of dirt back on top, I heard a noise in the grass, and it parted, revealing Eli wearing the same pair of jeans and work boots, but he had changed his shirt to a plain black one. In each hand, he held cans of paint and a brush.
"Should I even ask why you are burying that old scarecrow?" He asked as he came to stand beside me.
"Probably best if you didn't," I admitted, leaning on the shovel.
"Well, I'm going to anyway. Polly, why are you burying that old scarecrow?" He asked, a rare smile coming to his face.
"Because it's been haunting me at night," I said bluntly.
"Mhm, yeah, okay. Fine, don't tell me. I've been meaning to get rid of it anyway, but normal people take things to the landfill," Eli said with a smirk as he turned to the house and began setting up for his painting.
I finished burying the scarecrow and stomped the dirt down flat. I finished my job by moving my car and parking it directly over top of the spot where I buried it.
Eli watched me curiously but didn't remark. I returned the shovel to the barn and went out into the yard. I decided to go for a hike around the property. I needed some time alone to think and unwind.
As I made my way through the grass, it began to confuse me. This had obviously been a large farmland, but how had the wild plants grown in such a thick, endless maze of greenery?
It gave me an eerie feeling, like I was being watched as the grass covered three-quarters of my body, like there would be something lurking out in the grass, crouched low, waiting for me.
After a half-hour or so, I came upon a clear lake, only big enough to be considered an old swimming hole, I thought as I dipped my hand into the cool water.
I took off my outer clothes and decided to go for a swim. I lowered myself in slowly and reveled at the cool water. The pond wasn't deep, but the water was clean. A small rope swing had been hung from a large oak tree that bordered the pond. It also provided a nice layer of shade that made it the ideal spot to spend the day. I floated on my back in the water for what seemed like hours. The day seemed to slip away from me. A small beach of sand sat at one side of the pond, so I lay out in the sun and closed my eyes. The warm day warmed my soul, and soon I felt myself drifting off into sleep.
I awoke to the sound of crickets and darkness. I couldn't believe it. I had slept through the day; the long nights had finally caught up to me, and now I was stuck far away from the farmhouse. I didn't know if my plan with the scarecrow had worked, and this wasn't the place to test my theory.
A full moon lay overhead, casting a silvery glow on the world before me. A sea of grass swayed gently in the wind, sending shivers down it in shuddering waves. I looked around, but I was thankfully alone, just the crickets chirping along melodically as my only companions.
I had to make it back to the house, so I started on my way, my hands trailing along the tall grass. The pale light played easily on the deep green grass. Step by step, I made my way back towards the farmhouse and the barn, throwing caution to the wind, and I started to jog along, anything to get back faster. I would have to find Eli; maybe if we were together, he could stop it like before.
If I thought the field was creepy during the day, by night, it was a whole new world. Every sound made my heart stop for a beat before restarting in protest. When all of a sudden, the crickets stopped chirping. I dropped to my knees, letting the long grass cover me from sight. Through the strands, I could make out a shape moving slowly through the tall grass, the swish of the plants as it made its passage through them. My heart dropped. Was this Eli looking for me, or was it the scarecrow come for me?
That's when I heard a voice, a voice cutting through the silence. It started off quiet and raspy as it sang an eerie children's song.
"Did you, did you, did you come for me?
Run and hide, don't you know that I seek
The world it claims that I be not clean
When I come, you'll see how filthy I can be.
Tonight, it is happening, tonight you'll see
Beneath the moon, my shadows they do creep.
In this world, at night I shall be free.
Tonight it's happening, tonight you'll see.
When I come, you had better flee, or else I'll come and give my filth to thee."
I was frozen to the spot. It hadn't found me, but it knew I was in the grass somewhere. Now, with each word, chewed up and spat out like it was unhappy with it, now it was accompanied by the whistle of something in the air and a slicing sound as it cut through the grass around me.
It finished another round of its song, but now it stood within feet of me, its blade whistling as it cut. I took a moment to ready myself, and as it raised its blade to cut through the grass I hid in, I dashed out of my hiding spot and slammed into it. But nothing resisted me; I fell through it like it was a ghost.
In a tangle of limbs, I landed hard on the ground and tried quickly rolling to my feet. The blade of its weapon pierced the earth beside me. Now I could see it was a two-handed scythe the scarecrow carried, but something was off, its hands were human. Pale milky skin like a newborn baby. I had little time to examine the creature except for the canvas bag over its head. Two large black eyes came out of the slits that leaked a dark red blood like tears.
It screeched loudly and swung its scythe, but it was slow, and I took off through the grass in the direction of what I hoped was the farmhouse.
I completely gave up all pretense of hiding and sprinted as fast as I could without looking back. The grass seemed to part for me as I ran in terror. I was just glad that in high school, I had taken track as it was paying off now.
I could hear the noise of footsteps behind me, but I never turned. I ran and ran until my lungs felt like they were going to burst Something silver flashed to my left, and I tripped over something hard and unexpected. The wind was driven from my lungs as my chin slammed hard into the earth. I scrambled back, trying to escape, but the scarecrow was on me, its blade flashing angrily in the pale moonlight.
I wanted to move, I wanted to fight, but my body was weak and unable to catch its breath, and I lay there helpless as it swung its scythe towards me. I closed my eyes in fear, but I only heard the thud of dirt before I opened my eyes. The scythe was discarded, and the scarecrow stood staring at me.
It seemed to be struggling with something, one hand reached out towards me only to be snapped back to its side. A roar of rage pierced the canvas sack over its head as it struggled against its invisible bonds. For a moment, I thought I saw something behind it, three sets of hands holding it back. One feminine in nature, and the other two must have belonged to children. In a flash, I saw a beautiful woman who looked vaguely familiar with her long brown hair and plain dress.
"Run," she moaned as the scarecrow swung around wildly.
I didn't hesitate and fled, my breath had returned, and while my body still ached from my fall, I powered on, knowing this was the only respite I would receive tonight.
In the distance, I could see a small sheet metal shape; Eli's trailer was slowly coming closer as I ran, and I beelined it for the trailer. I could hear the footsteps behind me again as the scarecrow resumed its chase after me.
I reached the old trailer and banged on the door as loud as I could; I rattled the handle, but it was locked.
"Eli, it's me. It's Polly, please let me in. Please," I begged as I banged over and over again on the door of his trailer.
Nothing responded to me, and the trailer was dark. The single window in the back held no life inside the trailer. From the trailer, I couldn't tell which direction the farmhouse was in the dark, so I fled into the tall grass and crouched low, watching the clearing around the trailer.
While I caught my breath, I watched the scarecrow enter the clearing, its scythe back in its hand as it circled the trailer. When its raspy voice began singing again low and quiet, only loud enough for me to hear.
"Did you, did you, did you come for me?
Run and hide, don't you know that I seek
The world it claims that I be not clean
When I come, you'll see how filthy I can be.
Tonight, it is happening, tonight you'll see
Beneath the moon, my shadows they do creep.
In this world, at night, I shall be free.
Tonight it's happening, tonight you'll see.
When I come, you had better flee, or else I'll come and give my filth to thee."
The song made me shiver uncontrollably at the lyrics and the voice; it sounded demented like a crazy person letting their demons out into a nursery rhyme.
I lay perfectly still; for some reason, it couldn't find me. This creature I assumed was all-knowing seemed to have some very human weaknesses. It moved and talked like a human, even had certain body parts that were from a human; it even felt human the way it chased and reacted.
The scarecrow moved on through the tall grass, and I let out a sigh of relief as it lost my trail. How terrifying that beast was. In my pocket was the keys to my car. Eli had told me that the farmhouse was fairly close to his trailer. I had to navigate to the car, then drive as fast as I can away from this place. The fact that I hadn't left already because I was worried about money was insane. Who cares, I could drive to Barb's and demand my money back. Go home and just tell my parents the truth. The whole reason for actually leaving home this summer, why I was actually here in this field shivering uncontrollably in fear. But I couldn't think about that now, not now, there will be time to deal with that later. Now I needed to focus on staying alive, getting to the car, and getting out of here.
I went in the direction the scarecrow had; he knew the land better than I did, and every noise I made in the silence of the night made my heart drop. It took all my courage there and then to take one step forward, then another. I felt like I was going to be sick; my stomach was in knots to where it felt like even if I was sick, the only thing to come out would be only bile and stomach acid.
With each careful step, I made my way closer to the farmhouse and the scarecrow. Through the darkness, I could see my goal, the farmhouse, and the barn. Within minutes, I had made it securely to the farmhouse yard.
My car still sat in the same spot overtop of the hole where I buried the scarecrow. In the moonlight, I could see that the dirt had not been disturbed.
The scarecrow was nowhere to be seen, and I cautiously made my way to my car, my keys in my hand as I approached the driver's door. I hadn't locked the car, and it opened on the first try. I turned on my car as quietly as I could, but nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.
Something landed heavily on top of the roof of my car, making it dent inwards slightly. With horror, I saw the scarecrow swing its scythe into the back window of my car. With a crash, the glass shattered inwards; I put my car into gear and roared away down the lane. In my rearview mirror, I couldn't see anything, so I swerved back and forth, trying to shake the creature from the roof of my car when the scythe crashed in through the front window, making a hole just large enough for it.
The glass spidered, and I couldn't see out the window very well. I swerved down the road, but the scythe remained in the car, allowing the creature purchase. In a panic, I spun my wheel wildly, trying to dislodge it, but I lost control, and soon felt something crash into the front of my car. The airbag went off in my face, and I hadn't been wearing my seatbelt. I slammed hard into something else, and my vision went dark. I was in a daze; I must have passed out because I don't remember a lot of what happened next. I felt the car door open with a crunching tear, and it landed loudly as it was torn off. My body being grabbed and tossed on the ground. I felt no pain, just a gentle numbness. I felt blood on my head as I raised my arm to touch my face.
Then just blackness, complete, and empty just feelings, fear, unease, sadness. My eyes opened, and the scarecrow was overtop of me. Pain on my chest and my vision went dark again. Coughing as something poured down my throat. I couldn't breathe, why couldn't I breathe?
My eyes opened one last time, and I saw the scarecrow pouring a dark liquid from its mouth directly into my mouth and eyes. My vision was red and bloody before I closed them one last time.
The words of its song echoed into the emptiness of my thoughts.
"Did you, did you, did you come for me?
Run and hide, don't you know that I seek?
The world it claims that I be not clean.
When I come, you'll see how filthy I can be.
Tonight, it is happening, tonight you'll see,
Beneath the moon, my shadows they do creep.
In this world, at night, I shall be free.
Tonight it's happening, tonight you'll see.
When I come, you had better flee, or else I'll come and give my filth to thee."
The darkness enveloped me, and I felt myself slipping away, the sounds of the night fading into oblivion.
Day 4
When I awoke, it was morning, and I found myself lying in a hospital bed. My head throbbed with pain, and my body ached all over. The memories of the terrifying night flooded back to me, and I shuddered involuntarily.
A nurse entered the room, her kind eyes filled with concern. "You're awake," she said softly, her voice gentle like a soothing balm. "You're lucky to be alive. You were found unconscious by the side of the road next to your car. Do you remember what happened?"
I tried to speak, but my throat felt raw and dry. I croaked out a few words, barely audible. "The scarecrow... it attacked me..."
The nurse frowned, her brows furrowing in confusion. "Scarecrow? What scarecrow?"
My heart raced with panic as I realized the truth. Had it all been a nightmare? But the pain in my body felt too real, the memories too vivid to be mere hallucinations.
I tried to explain, to tell her about the terrifying creature that had pursued me through the night, but she only looked at me with concern, as if I were delusional.
"I'll get the doctor, and there is a young man who brought you in. He has been here all morning," the nurse said with a sly wink.
After a few minutes, she came back with Eli and a doctor, both of whom smiled gently at me through the window. The doctor came in first and went over my health with me. I had a concussion and bruises all over my body. A generous-sized cut from some glass on my scalp had been stitched and bandaged. My mind flashed back to the night before. How the scarecrow had filled me with its gooey red blood.
"Did you find anything else?" I asked cautiously, trying to avoid another scandal like with the nurse.
"No, as long as you have someone to pick you up and take you home, you are free to go. That nice young man out there said he would take you back home," the doctor said, pointing to Eli as he rose with a slight grunt.
I glanced at Eli, and he waved uncertainly at me. The doctor went out and began talking to Eli for a few minutes.
While I waited, my mind began to have strange thoughts. Something was wrong; I felt weird. My vision turned red, and I began to see images before my eyes.
The Harmons. They flashed before my eyes in real-time—the husband hugging his wife, then swinging his kids around, chopping wood outback next to the barn while his wife cooked in the kitchen.
As Eli entered the room, the visions stopped suddenly. Like my saving angel for the third time now, I was extremely grateful to Eli.
"Heyyyyy," Eli said, elongating the word in a sort of familiar yet awkward way.
"Hi," I said, closing my eyes and letting my embarrassment pass in only a few seconds.
"Why is it that fifty percent of the times we meet, you're in serious trouble?" Eli asked, coming to sit on the edge of my bed.
"Oh, you know me, bad luck, I guess," I said simply, becoming aware that under my blankets, I was in a backless hospital gown, and he was inches away from me.
I pulled the blanket up to my chin as a sort of cover for my appearance, but Eli didn't seem to notice. He continued talking to me. It was actually really sweet the way he seemed to care for me.
"Anyways, the doctor said I could take you back to the farmhouse to rest," Eli said.
"No," I said suddenly, becoming serious.
"What? Why not?" Eli asked.
"I just, I just can't right now. I'll tell you later. Just, we can't spend the night anywhere near the farm," I said, grabbing him by the arm, hoping to sway him.
"Well, I mean, if you want, we can grab your stuff, and my house can literally go anywhere," Eli said in an offhand manner, as if he had expected this.
"Promise?" I asked, trying not to seem too afraid.
Within the hour, we had returned to the farmhouse. The hole I dug was still covered over, and I stared at it as we parked in Eli's black pickup truck.
I ran inside and quickly got changed into my only clean clothes, grabbing everything I had from the farmhouse. I paused at the dinner table, looking down at the photographs of the Harmons and thinking back to that weird moment in the hospital with that odd vision.
The day was getting longer, and I hurried back to Eli, waiting in the pickup truck. I threw my bag in the back and climbed in beside him. He smiled and backtracked down the lane. We turned to the left and went down a side road where we came upon my poor old car. It had crashed directly into a tree, and the whole front part of the car had been destroyed. Fluid leaked all over the road, and I almost shed a tear for my departed friend. We had traveled far together. I grabbed a few things from the car, but something was off about the car. The front door had been knocked off and was discarded on the far side of the road. It looked impossible; the door hadn't even hit the tree.
Eli hooked his truck up to his trailer, and we sped off, leaving the property behind us. We headed into town and found a pullout on the side of the road with a set of bathrooms to camp at for the night. Eli's trailer was messy but cozy. He had laundry strewn over most surfaces, but it didn't smell bad.
The room consisted of a small kitchen with a bed in one corner. There were also a lot of posters and artwork on the walls. I examined one of a pretty girl with long raven-black hair. It was a realist painting, obviously taken from real life.
"Who is this?" I asked as Eli made us some food.
"That is just a friend," Eli said, glancing at the painting he had done.
"Well, she is a pretty friend," I said, enjoying watching the back of his ears turn bright red.
"Dinner's ready," he said, pouring the mixture of food he had made onto a pair of plates.
Eli served me and handed me a can of Coke to drink. I thanked him and sat on his bed. It was the only serviceable piece of furniture in the whole trailer. We both sat in silence for a moment while we ate. I could tell something was bothering Eli as he kept making glances toward me.
"What? What is it, Eli? Just say it," I said between bites.
"Tell me what happened, Polly. Tell me why you were burying the scarecrow, why you were passed out in the road with straw in your hair. Tell me why you were muttering about the Harmons and a scarecrow when I found you," Eli said suddenly, as if he were unloading a machine gun.
I looked Eli square in the face and relented. I told him about the last couple of nights at the farmhouse, about how the scarecrow had been tormenting me every night. About how he had saved me and how last night I had fled through the fields to his trailer and then to my car. I told him about the vision I had about the Harmons in the hospital. By the end of it, I was in tears. I felt so foolish and childish.
Eli took it in stride. He asked a few questions during my retelling, but by the end of it, he was silent. Tears fell down my face and landed in my lap. We had both put our plates on the counter, and Eli hugged me. He put his arms around me, and I nuzzled into his shoulder, feeling comforted again in him at the lowest points of my life.
With a gentle hand, he wiped away my tears, and I smiled, letting a nervous laugh escape my lips. I looked up into his face and felt his stare before I saw it. His pale blue eyes shone with comfort, and then his lips were on mine as he kissed me quickly before pulling away slightly.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. That was insensitive of me. You're sad, and I took advantage of that," Eli said, moving back slightly.
"Shut up," I said, and grabbed his shirt, bringing him back in.

submitted by TheLastRiter to nosleep [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 17:47 Stormili What am I missing?

Hi everyone, Im a 1,73 cm around 80kg, 31 year old male with around 30% bodyfat. I started around 3 years ago with around 90 kg. All weights are roughly since I mostly go by waist size, not so much weight. You probably can already tell that it wasnt straight forward for me since 10 kg in 3 years is not alot. This was mostly due to me overdoing it with running, injuring myself in the process and then jojo-ing back a bit.
Since around 4 months I switched to zone 2 cardio mostly. Still running but with more training over time and lower intensity I now feel on the right track here. I ran in the last 4 months on at least 20 days per month, always around 5 km and always around 300 kcal according to my treadmill, most of it in zone 2. I also work in additional weight training every now and then, just so my muscles don vanish completly. I dont count calorie burns on that, but just know that this shouldnt be a major area of concern either.
My diet (pretty much unchanged since day one) is strict and open at the same time. I dont have breakfast and eat a protein porridge for lunch (100gram oats, 50 gram casein protein powder, 10 gram nuts + 50-100ml almond milk + water) which is in sum pretty much excactly 500 kcal. Im pretty strict about that. Then an apple or banana in the afternoon around 100 kcal and then my most open and last meal of the day, dinner. Always homecooked, with often a salad or at least plenty of vegetables. There wouldn't be any fast food or anything else of the usual suspects. While I dont track calories here, I would be suprised if it surpassed 1000 kcal (my estimated allowance for this meal) regularly.
There are days where I dont follow my diet, but thats mostly birthdays and such so, maybe 1-2 days a month where I once again would be suprised if I surpassed (as an absolut maximum 3000 kcal a day, 2500 probably being a more realistic upper sealing. We are talking going out for dinner or having a cake, not an all you can eat buffet.)
I dont drink much alcohol anymore, we are talking somewhere in the 1-2 times a month 3-4 glasses of wine. While still to much, it also shouldnt be a major calorie contributor.
Other then that I`m unfortunately not very active, programing as a job and gaming as a hobby doesnt mix well.
Using Online calculators I should be around 2000 kcal burn (NEAT) per day + 300 from Sport on most days. While eating around 1600 kcal per day. So a good day would give me a deficit of 700 kcal (round about).
On my worst days I should gain around 500 kcal. Even going by the 10 bad days in a month, 20 good days estimate. This would give me an overall burn of (...calculating...) 5000-14000 = -9000 kcal per month. So around 300 kcal on an average day. With this calculation being pretty pessimistic I would say.
Even if we round down again and say its only a 7000 kcal deficit per month... I should loose a kg per month, which would still be a rather slow diet (while feeling quite strict if Im honest). And this being an absolute low estimate.
My simple problem is: I havent lost that much, not by a long shot, we are talking 1-2 kg in the last 4 months.
HOW? what am I missing? It feels like I got everything under control. Im fairly "experienced" with diets and even loosing weight. I know what it feels like and generally how to do it. Im honest with myself and never complained online before, since always saw my own shortcomings eventually (poor diet, to little NEAT, overtraining etc. all being problems before, that I solved for me). But this time Im drawing a complet blank, I feel like I should be loosing weight, faster or honestly most of the time at all with what Im doing. Do you guys have any ideas or pointers, Im really out of my wits this time?

submitted by Stormili to WeightLossAdvice [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 17:45 Fragrant-Studio3906 How to Edit Your Photos Like a Pro Using Lightroom Mobile

How to Edit Your Photos Like a Pro Using Lightroom Mobile

Lightroom Mobile is a powerful and user-friendly app that brings professional photo editing capabilities to your smartphone or tablet. Whether you're a seasoned photographer or a beginner, Lightroom Mobile offers a range of tools and features to help you elevate your photos to a professional level. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you get started and make the most of Lightroom Mobile.

Step 1: Import Your Photos

**Open Lightroom Mobile**: Download and install the Lightroom Mobile app from your app store. Open the app and sign in with your Adobe ID.
**Import Photos**: Tap the '+' icon to add photos from your camera roll, files, or take a new photo directly within the app. Select the images you want to edit and import them into your Lightroom library.

Step 2: Basic Adjustments

**Exposure**: Begin by adjusting the exposure to correct the overall brightness of your photo. Tap on 'Light' and use the Exposure slider to brighten or darken the image.
**Contrast**: Increase the contrast to make the differences between light and dark areas more pronounced. This can add depth and dimension to your photo.
**Highlights and Shadows**: Adjust the Highlights to recover details in the brightest parts of your image, and the Shadows to bring out details in the darker areas.
**Whites and Blacks**: Fine-tune the white and black points to enhance the overall dynamic range of your photo.

Step 3: Color Adjustments

**White Balance**: Tap on 'Color' and adjust the Temperature and Tint sliders to correct the white balance. This ensures that the colors in your photo look natural.
**Vibrance and Saturation**: Increase Vibrance to enhance the intensity of muted colors without affecting skin tones, and use Saturation to adjust the overall color intensity.

Step 4: Fine-Tuning with Tone Curve

**Tone Curve**: The Tone Curve is a powerful tool for making precise tonal adjustments. Tap on 'Curve' and adjust the curve to add contrast and fine-tune the brightness levels. A slight S-curve can enhance contrast and make your photo pop.

Step 5: Detail Enhancement

**Sharpening**: Tap on 'Detail' and use the Sharpening slider to enhance the edges in your photo. Be careful not to overdo it, as too much sharpening can introduce noise.
**Noise Reduction**: If your photo was taken in low light or has visible noise, use the Noise Reduction sliders to smooth out the grain and improve image quality.

Step 6: Selective Edits

**Selective Adjustments**: Tap on the selective adjustments icon to make localized edits. Use tools like the Brush, Radial Filter, and Graduated Filter to apply adjustments to specific areas of your photo, such as brightening a subject’s face or darkening the sky.

Step 7: Creative Edits

**Presets**: Lightroom Mobile offers a variety of presets that can instantly apply a specific look to your photo. Explore the available presets or create your own to streamline your editing process.
**Effects**: Tap on 'Effects' to adjust Clarity, Dehaze, and add Vignettes. Clarity can add texture and detail, Dehaze can reduce atmospheric haze, and a Vignette can draw attention to the center of your image.

Step 8: Final Touches and Export

**Crop and Straighten**: Tap on 'Crop' to adjust the composition of your photo. You can crop to standard aspect ratios, straighten the horizon, or rotate your image.
**Exporting**: Once you're satisfied with your edits, tap the share icon to export your photo. Choose the desired resolution and quality settings, then save it to your device or share it directly to social media.

By following these steps, you can transform your photos using Lightroom Mobile, achieving professional-quality results with just a few taps. Practice and experimentation will help you develop your own style and workflow, turning your mobile device into a powerful tool for creative photo editing.

submitted by Fragrant-Studio3906 to u/Fragrant-Studio3906 [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 17:43 BlueFishcake Sexy Steampunk Babes: Chapter Twenty Seven

William was just about to scoop another mouthful of porridge and berries into his mouth when someone scooted into the seat next to him.
“Marline.” He inclined his head before returning to breakfast.
A breakfast that, prior to his teammate’s arrival, had been blissfully free of noise or interruption.
Which made sense given that the ‘rise and shine’ bell wasn’t going to ring for another thirty minutes or so. To that end, the cafeteria was near empty, but for a few servants flitting around the place as they set tables or partook of their own breakfasts.
Breakfasts that were something of a step down from what was normally served at these tables, given that the usual heaped piles of hot sausages, crisp bacon and hearty eggs were still being prepared in the kitchens.
Still, on this occasion, that was fine by William. Sure, the main reason he’d told his team to rise a little earlier than normal was to allow them to dine in peace without being harassed by the rest of the rumour hungry student body, but it was also useful in that it somewhat limited some of his more… difficult teammate’s breakfast options.
“William,” the dark elf hissed as she leaned down. “We have a problem.”
Despite his early morning lethargy, those words managed to send something akin to a shiver up his spine.
“What!? What’s the problem?” he asked as he whirled around, remembering only at the last minute to keep his voice down.
Sure, the cafeteria was relatively empty of both staff and students, but it hadn’t escaped his notice that pretty much all of them had had their eyes on him since he sat down.
“What do you mean, ‘what’s the problem?’” Marline whispered furiously into his ear. “The fucking alchemy lab blew up last night.”
“Oh, that.” She’d gotten him all worked up for nothing. “Someone’s enchantment probably went awry after being kept in storage too long.”
That was a lie and they both knew it. He’d explained to Marline in great detail why trying to gain access to his storage room was a poor idea without him present. To that end, it was obvious that someone had attempted just that.
As such, the old alchemy building was now a smouldering ruin, with dozens of academy guards and at least one member of the palace guard sifting through the rubble when he walked past.
Or at least, they’d been watching over a dozen menial servants as they sifted through the rubble.
Still, no one had been too alarmed by it. It was hardly the first time the building had been destroyed after all.
Alchemy was by its nature a fairly dangerous art.
A form of homeopathic magic that attempted to imbue objects with magical abilities by combining them with conceptually similar items, it tended to both be prohibitively expensive and notoriously unreliable.
Left eyes from forty-year-old salamanders didn’t grow on trees after all. Nor testicles from albino bulls in heat. And that was the kind of specificity one needed to create a half-decent stamina potion.
There was a reason that alchemy was gradually being phased out in favour of the slower but more reliable art of enchanting.
“Yes, very unfortunate,” Marline said through gritted teeth. “But what about ‘our’ ingredients that were being kept in the building. It might be… dangerous of someone stumbled across them in the rubble.”
Dangerous? Gunpower couldn’t explode more than…
“Oh, you’re talking about the gift we were holding for your family?” He realized.
“Yes!”
“Why didn’t you check last night?” he asked.
“...I tend to wear earplugs when I sleep,” Marline admitted reluctantly. “Given… Verity.”
William glanced towards the young woman’s long elven ears and thought about their orcish teammate’s tendency to snore like she was trying to wake the dead. The inner walls of their dorm weren’t particularly thick and Marline’s room was right next to the other girl’s.
Yeah, he could see why she might have invested in some hearing protection.
A decent set of earplugs wouldn’t drown out the noise of the morning bell, but they’d be more than capable of drowning out the distant whumph of an alchemy lab going up on the opposite side of the campus.
He momentarily wondered if the noise had caused any of his other teammates to get up, before dismissing the idea.
Strange noises in the middle of the night were far from unusual in a military academy and usually best ignored unless you had a very good reason to think they might involve you.
“Well, it’s not a problem,” he whispered. “I moved it last night before heading back to the dorm.”
The look of relief on the dark elf’s face was palpable, before it gave way to confusion. “Why?”
He shrugged. “For the same reason I booby-trapped the storage room in the first place. Once it got out that I had a mithril core – and might have had something to do with Al’Hundra’s death, well it seemed like there was a decent chance someone might go snooping around places I might want to hide something.”
And the alchemy lab was just about the first place someone would think of right after their team’s dorm room.
Fortunately for him, there were a few places that were quite impractical for hiding something long-term, but pretty ideal in the short term.
And just so long as Marline’s aunts arrived before next Welday, the mithril core would be safe.
Though as he gazed down at the bowl of porridge in front of him, he found his appetite wasn’t quite what it had been just a few moments ago.
“So where’d you hide it?” Marline asked excitedly, clearly relieved that her family’s future wasn’t currently buried in rubble.
William paused as he considered how to answer that question. Something his teammate was quick to notice.
“William,” she prompted. “Where’s my family’s core?”
He gazed down at his bowl, still thinking.
“William!” she shouted as best she could while still whispering.
“The safest place I could think of. Somewhere it’d be covered completely and no one would voluntarily look.”
“Voluntarily?” Marline said. “Covered?”
Credit where credit was due, no one had ever accused his teammate of being slow on the uptake. At least, where politics wasn’t concerned. So it was that it wasn’t long before he witnessed her expression morph from confusion to horror… to rage.
“You buried my family’s mithril core in the latrines?!” she hissed.
William scratched his chin awkwardly as he avoided her furious gaze. “More like dropped. I didn’t need to bury it because it sank on its own. Which is good given I wasn’t quite sure of the relative buoyancy of mithril in… well… you know.”
In his defence, it had seemed like a good idea at the time. Indeed, if one were to be purely objective about the whole thing, it still was. The core was safely hidden at the bottom of one of the lesser used latrine pits. The bottom mounted… storage vats of which were pulled out and emptied into the bay once a week.
It was a fairly old fashioned system, given the existence of indoor plumbing across the rest of the academy. Indeed, he suspected the latrines were only kept around to serve as a form of punishment duty for any cadets that happened to royally piss off their instructors.
“They’ll be safe there until Welday,” William argued weakly. “At which point your aunts can collect them without anyone being the wiser.”
“Collect them from the latrine’s storage vats!” Marline hissed, slamming her head into the table. “Ancestors, the future of our house is now literally swimming in shit.”
Gingerly, William moved to pat the dark elf on the back. “Ah, but at least it’s safe.”
Once more he glanced away as two silver eyes peeked out angrily from between the girl’s arms.
Needless to say, he was rather glad for the eventual arrival of the rest of their team – even if Bonnlyn chose to complain at length about the fact that she was going to be forced to dine on ‘twigs and berries’ – as opposed to the gut busting pile of vaguely food shaped grease she normally chose to partake of in a morning.
Still, at least Marline had stopped glaring at him by the time they’d all finished eating – escaping just before the first of their fellow cadets piled noisily into the cafeteria.

It was actually rather amusing, that for all that the coming match had obvious implications for the country as a whole, in theory it was simply another practice match between two groups of cadets.
To that end, there was no great ceremony as the members of Team Seven made their way through the double doors leading to the Floats. There, as per usual, stood the members of the opposing team along with an Instructor from a ‘neutral’ house.
Never mind that the great bleachers to each side of the faux-ships were filled with eager spectators when they were normally all-but bare. Or that not one of the viewing orbs bolted to the gantries overhead was bereft of the ambient glow that signified they were in use.
Half the noble houses in the country were likely watching the events that were about to unfold through those crystalline orbs. Though William had to wonder if the Queen was one of them or if she was present in person, simply hidden behind whatever magic she used to render herself and her guards invisible.
Still, as he gazed upon the spectacle around them, William couldn’t help but be reminded of just how impressive a construction the Floats were, the stadium sized building hosting not just the ships that made up the field, but room for spectators, viewing orbs, staff and a myriad other smaller facilities that each worked to allow the practice matches to occur.
With that in mind, one notable absence from the building’s usual occupants was hard to miss.
“Where are all the sailors and marines?” Olzenya asked.
“I don’t know,” William said as they continued walking towards Tala and her team. “Maybe they’re already onboard?”
He doubted it though. He’d have been able to see people moving about inside the great vessels or marching across the deck.
No, something was amiss here.
Still, he’d known there was a possibility of House Blackstone attempting something. And the absence of the Float’s usual staff was likely to be related.
Nothing for it now, he thought. Whatever they’ve done can’t be too overt.
The Principal of the Academy might have been in New Haven’s pocket – which made her an ally of House Blackstone – but even her power had limits with the Crown and half the country watching.
“Ma’am,” William said as he came to a stop before the Instructor from House Summerfield. “Team Seven reporting.”
Instructor Halfin, ironically the woman who’d first introduced his team to the floats glowered at him.
“I don’t like this,” she said without preamble, her voice raised loudly enough that it was clear she was aiming her words not just at him, but Tala and the rest of the world besides. “The Academy and the Floats are supposed to be a training environment for the future leadership of the nation as a whole. Not a pissing ground for idiotic adolescents.”
“I didn’t choose the venue, ma’am.” Even as she spoke, Tala’s gaze stayed on William.
“And I didn’t ask your opinion, cadet.” Halfin’s words were biting as she turned towards the third-year. “The only opinion that matters here is mine. Not yours. Not his. Not your mummy’s. And not the rest of these upjumped cretins.”
Her hand flew out to encompass the veritable circus that were the stands. “So, with that in mind you can believe me when I say that my only concern is getting through this farce as efficiently and as fairly as possible. I don’t give a shit about what’s on the line or who doesn’t want to marry who. All that matters to me is whether or not you have wax or paint on your breastplate or enough harpy-venom in your system to put you down for the count.”
Both Tala’s and William’s eyes widened a little at that.
“Wax, ma’am? Paint?” Tala said.
The older woman grunted. “You heard me, and that’s all I’ll say on the matter. Let it be known I’m not happy about it. Nor about the fact that half the sailors on base have apparently come down with the shits.”
Ah, so that was why the float’s usual crew was missing. Clearly the work of House Blackstone, though to what end William was yet unsure.
Are they trying to delay the match? He thought.
That wouldn’t be ideal for a number of reasons – most of which centred around it giving House Blackstone more time to sabotage him and his team. There’d been a damn good reason he chose to have their match literally a day after he challenged her.
“This has naturally affected my ability to run a normal Float match. Normally that would be grounds for delaying this whole farce,” Halfin continued, tone darkening as she spoke the next few words. “But it has been ‘suggested’ to me by a number of parties that doing so would be impractical. So, we shall instead be making use of one of the scenarios available to us that does not require the use of regular crewmembers.”
She gestured towards the area between the two faux ships, the football field sized stretch of land normally empty but for a few overhead nets designed to catch falling cadets.
That wasn’t the case today. Instead, the area had been filled with a tangled mess of pre-fabricated structures and various other bits of paraphernalia.
“Airship down,” the Instructor said, and after a moment’s observation, William realized that the stretch of land really did look like what you might have seen if an airship crashed into it.
Assuming said airship crashed with enough force to scatter its component parts around rather than remain as a fairly battered single object. Which, given the heights said ships could drop from, wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility.
“Our third year cadets will be familiar with this scenario, but I will explain it briefly for our first years.” Again, there was no mistaking just how unhappy Halfin was with all of this. “In short, an allied or enemy airship has crashed in neutral territory. Both sides of the conflict have dispatched a mage strike team to search the wreckage for the ship’s core so as to deny it to the enemy. Unfortunately, neither side can effectively search said wreckage until the other strike team has been completely eliminated.”
Halfin’s gaze turned towards his team. “To clarify, do not let the flavor text of this scenario fool you. There is no core within the wreckage in this scenario. The only way to win is to completely eliminate the opposing team.”
Over the woman’s shoulder, William didn’t miss the small smile that flitted across his fiancee’s features.
Ah, so that’s her game, he thought.
Oh, he didn’t doubt she would have preferred this whole engagement be delayed so as to allow her more time to stack the deck, but on short notice simply changing the scenario to this still helped her.
Theoretically.
It reduced the number of ‘wild card’ factors that might benefit him or his team. No crew members. No orbs to collect. Just a straight up fight between the two teams.
Sure, said wild cards could have just as easily worked in Tala’s favour, but given the skill disparity between the two groups, it benefited her to reduce the number of random vectors present in the coming fight.
Plus, it also had his team attempting to navigate an unfamiliar scenario.
Well played, he thought.
“Any issue with that, cadets?” Halfin said as she finished her explanation.
“None at all,” William said before the rest of his team could interrupt, noting the small pout of disappointment that flitted across Tala’s face.
She’d probably wanted him to kick up a fuss and force the match to be delayed for the reasons he’d thought of before.
Alas, she wasn’t that lucky.
No, for better or for worse this was happening here and now.
Sure, it wasn’t an ideal scenario, but he could make it work for him. It simply required him to pull out another trick that he’d been hoping to hold onto for just a little while longer.
Amusingly, Halfin also looked a little disappointed. The woman had probably wanted the match delayed on principle. It was clear both his new weapon and Tala’s interference rubbed her the wrong way.
Though as he had the thought, he was pleasantly surprised to see there was at least one woman in the academy who placed her duty as an educator and impartial judge above politics.
Indeed, if she had a reputation for such, that was likely part of the reason why she’d been selected for this match as a compromise between the Crown and the Blackstones.
“Well, if that’s all, then you’ve got ten minutes to check out your weapons and get to your starting positions.” Halfin grunted, before she seemed to remember something. “And I suppose I’ll take possession of the ‘bet’ now.”
There was no missing the disdain in the woman’s voice, which actually made William feel a bit better as he gestured over to Verity.
Unslinging the backpack she’d carried all the way over, the girl still looked more than a little awed as she unveiled the glowing metal orb. It was actually a little amusing, the mixture of relief and reluctance that crossed her features as she handed it over to the Instructor.
An instructor who was apparently not entirely carved from stone, as she somewhat reverently accepted the object.
Even the distant stands hushed down a bit as the bowling ball sized core changed hands.
Of course, it was barely a second before the moment was interrupted.
“Of course you’d have the orc carry it,” Tala grunted, her tone resigned.
Verity flinched back at the words and every other member of his team – including Olzenya leaned forward to argue – but William forestalled them all with a simple raised hand.
“Of course I did,” he said simply. “She’s a valuable member of my team and I trust her. Far more than certain other individuals present.”
A core could also be deceptively heavy despite its ability to produce lighter than air aether and he had no real desire to carry it all the way across campus. It also went unsaid that Verity was best equipped to intercept any… opportunistic thieves.
Indeed, he’d have paid to see some enterprising moron attempt to wrestle the bag holding the core off his orcish teammate on the walk over here.
It hadn’t happened of course, the possibility had always been an outlier at best, but given the stakes it had seemed better to err on the side of caution.
…It had also been amusing to see the myriad emotions that had flashed across the faces of most of the team when he quite casually tossed the bag holding the core to the orc. One would almost think he’d just thrown a baby at her.
Indeed, the only one who’d not been affected had been Marline, who’d just looked quietly resigned.
Which was still fun in its own way.
It was a little childish perhaps coming from a man ‘his age’, but that same age was what gave him the experience to know that sometimes life was about being a little silly and enjoying the small things.
And what better silly fun was there than teasing a bunch of far too serious kids by throwing around a basically indestructible ball of magical space metal?
Of course, given the flash of irritation that shot across Tala’s face, it was clear she thought his smile was an accompaniment to his taunt.
However, before she could say anything, Halfin scooped up the core. “Well, I’ll be holding onto this until the match is over. At which point I shall hand it to whomever I deem to be the victor.” For just a moment, her expression softened. “You can rest assured, both of you, that I shan’t let it out of my sight or off my person for the duration of the match. This I swear – even if I’m irritated at this whole situation.”
William and Tala both nodded, accepting the solemness of the woman’s impromptu oath.
“Alright,” she said, slinging the thing under her arm as she returned to her previous acerbic personality. “You’ve got ten minutes to collect your weapons and be at your designated spots for the beginning of the match. Anyone not in the correct place at the correct time will be considered eliminated for the purposes of this match. Dismissed.”
With her bit said, she strode away, no doubt up to the judges tower - which had an eagle’s eye view of the entire arena.
Leaving two teams of rather combative cadets behind.
Ten minutes was more than enough time to collect their gear, so William allowed himself a few seconds to simply gaze at Tala’s team.
“Finally realizing how outclassed you are, William?” Tala sneered.
It was funny, normally that kind of open disdain was beneath her. Sure, she’d yelled at him before, but to his mind that was more of an expression of frustration than animosity.
Here and now though?
She hated him.
And he revelled in it.
Not because he hated her. He didn’t. Even if they were enemies. At worst he’d say he pitied her for her ignorance and worldview.
Much like him and his otherworldly views, she was a product of her environment.
She wasn’t evil. At least not in an intentional sense. Indeed, by the standards of this world she was actually a good person.
Loyal. Dutiful. Hardworking.
Simply in service to an institution that he abhorred.
With that in mind, the reason why he relished in her disdain was simple.
It meant that he was now worthy of it in her mind. No longer an irritating non-factor that refused to play along, his actions now had consequences.
He’d earned her animosity honestly.
He was a factor. A person.
It felt good.
“Just counting the numbers,” he said. “Some part of me wondered if you might be a team member or two short.”
Indeed, the fact that he’d hoped for the murder of a young man or woman last night was something he counted amongst the least of his sins. There’d be a great many more of those to come.
Still, ignorant of his thoughts, the girl stiffened, all but confirming his suspicions as her mind no doubt turned towards last night’s explosion.
It had been her people who’d tried to raid his alchemy storage room – though it seemed she’d not been so foolish as to send anyone on her team to accomplish the job. In all likelihood the unfortunate fools who’d run afoul of his trap had likely been little more than paid off servants or some other kind of catspaw.
Irrelevant in the scheme of things ultimately and chosen for that very reason. Unfortunate, but hoping that his enemy would be a teammate or two down had ever been a long shot.
“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about,” Tala said. “My teammates are all ready and eager to serve not only me, but to honour their family names as well through that service. Though I know that’s a concept most alien to you.”
Around her, four other members of the girls team stood up a little straight, animosity burning in their gaze as they silently regarded his team with disdain.
Disdain his own team was quite happy to level back – if only out of loyalty to him.
Still, it was funny; Tala was more right than she knew. The values of this world were in many ways alien to him despite having lived here for nearly two decades.
“I suppose you’re right,” he chuckled. “To that end, I’ll see you in the arena.”
He took a moment to enjoy the look of puzzlement on his foe’s face at his placid rejoinder, before he strode away, his team falling in behind him.
Though as he walked, he made sure to turn to each of them. “Make sure to double check all of our equipment. If Tala was able to give half the Float staff food poisoning last night, I wouldn’t put it past her to be able to tamper with our equipment.”
Each of the girls nodded seriously at his words, no doubt leery of discovering a razor blade or some other such implement in one of their boots. Or that their bolt-bow had a faulty intake valve.
Indeed, the only piece of equipment William could theoretically have been sure of was that which he was currently wearing and the spell-bolts that would have been delivered clandestinely at the last minute by either Griffith or a palace guard.
And even then, what the fuck is this about wax and paint rather than rubber? He thought.
Previous / First / Next
Another three chapters are also available on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bluefishcake
We also have a (surprisingly) active Discord where and I and a few other authors like to hang out: https://discord.gg/RctHFucHaq

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2024.05.21 17:39 Humanunderstudy Manifesto

Enclosed below is a series of topics I would write about if I ever had the patience or done the research to write a manifesto.
Capital
Damn what's that about huh. I know its everywhere and I know its everything. And I know its wrong to believe that wholeheartedly. I would write about how we are all born kind, and perverted into cynicism. I would write about how the world falls apart when we ask for payment when someone asks you to pass the salt from your side of the dinner table. It would be eloquent enough to convince people that my leftism is maybe not a symptom of my age.
Gender
I'm asking for trouble. I'm telling you right now that when someone puts "I love Harry Potter" on their Hinge profile all I hear is "I am a card carrying member of the transphobia party." Gender is so much more than transphobia. Gender is even more than transgenderism. Gender is an action you take to be a part of society. Its the basis of enacting your will onto societal experience. It can only do all of this because on some level, it doesn't really exist. I'm a man, I'm a woman. I'm every single person who has compelled me to behave the way that I do. Disagree with me all you want but if I ever wrote my manifesto I'd be able to change your mind.
Art
It's not this thats for sure. I jest. I jape. I open my mouth wide and scream at the ocean for someone to listen because what the fuck is art. I know we need it but do we need it? We need doctors. We don't need artists. But the distinction between living and surviving is something that everyone already knows. And if you don't, I implore you to read this manifesto I'll never write that is certain to change your mind.
Love
"Who makes you the authority on love?" Good question. "Where is my soulmate?" Don't know why you're asking me but I don't know dude. "Why can't women realise that my fear of love actually makes me attractive?" Hey buddy I really don't know what the opposite of a rhetorical question is but like is it so hard to believe that most people are in fact afraid of love. Most people know that to love is to invite harm, and most people know that to invite harm is scary. Also you're giving off kinda incel-y vibes and I didn't really want to initiate this call and response but on the other hand this is also a very convoluted metaphor for love anyway so you do you I guess. "What's the metaphor?" Its fucking love dude you figure it out. Also maybe don't be such a creep. And read my manifesto, maybe it'll solve the incel thing and who knows maybe you'll figure out you were a woman the whole time.
Manifestos
I'd write about how putting your every thought out there for the world to see is maybe not an effective strategy for managing your mental health. I'd talk about how a manifesto is just a cool sounding word that makes you feel like you have serious opinions. Maybe i don't need to worry so much about being able to change other people's minds. Maybe I don't have serious opinions.
But that can't be true. I've released a manifesto I'll never write. Also the opposite of a rhetorical question is a regular fucking question.

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2024.05.21 17:36 HakanTheBeloved I wanted to share my story about the weight problem.

So, maybe some of people seen me here and around in couple of days, I've been mostly giving advice about how to lose weight. Well why that's important to say cause I myself was around 94.6 kg (208 lbs) when I started at the start of the April, Now I weight 83.8 kg (185 lbs) my goal is to aim for like range of the 60 - 70 kg (132 lbs - 154 lbs) to just purely satisfy myself with the body. I know I shouldn't take in my eyes how the other people look like especially on internet but there's no better alternative atm for me. I already started to see some quirky places where my skin just seems to shrink from the fat that I lost mostly on my tights some people could argue that's bad less tights but at my situation it's better to have lose them a bit of fat.
Also for context I'm just 18 turning 19 this year. 177 cm height (~5'10 ft)
So for more interesting stuff what I'd daily from my start with is now around 1.5 months.
Rule 1; Hitting 5 days from week at least 9.0 km of walking with is around 12,000 steps from just this I don't count moving around house for this, but only the one session of going usually for 2 hour walk at least this is how much average I'd have to walk to be around 9,0 km, On the other 2 days I take a bit break from every exercise and I do just 2/3 of regular day with means I'd go for walk but only for like 6 km.
Rule 2 (please don't do that like i'd) I'm just at way to high caloric deficit I mean I'd get like 1,200 + / - 300 kcal per day. Mostly proteins to just keep my muscle mass on my body and kill the fat, but I don't recommend it unless your doctor says you to have that. Is this going trough hell for me? I can't really tell It's kinda like fasting but not really, I already earlier in my life was prepared to have that situation cuase in my house very very rarely there's lack of food or just food that I won't eat cause is too gross for me to put it in my mouth anyways.
What's my costs of this all, I have to refuse some good stuff like cakes, some other sugar staff, etc. After that time I pretty much don't have any feeling of having to eat or use sugar stuff, so I just drink water and cup of drink tea daily.
The pain in the ass; I'm just still a student and my money outcome is pretty not existing so I have to rely what I get in my kitchen from parents and that's usually not the best staff but at least it's not heavy processed meals like average US dinner. Well at least when I get some money the chicken breast aren't that expensive to get + full-wheat penne pasta + tomato sauce makes me dinner for a week to eat, so I still somewhat stay alive, I did started to appreciate more the meal that I get, and stopped pretty much every time my heads tells me "You are Hungry" I just go and drink water and then this annoying stuff stops for another 6 hours.
Yes I'd have skincare routine mostly just cleanser -> oat lotion -> moisturizer and if I'm going outside in summer time I use uv cream, and yes most of this stuff I just took from my other cause women cosmetics are somewhat always better than mens.
So what other exercises I'd daily; Well I usually got for 3 x 20, So I'd sit ups, squats, glute bridges, russian twists and 1 min of plank, and yes the push ups why do I'd them to help my upper part of body gain some muscles so I get rid of this gross some type of men boobs that I got cause of the fat in my body. Also I'd then set of 2 exercises 3x for 30 s that just helps me with core muscles.
If I get bored from one exercise I'd go and do other with similar meaning like; side leg rises, hydrant etc.
So to summary; Is this what I'd healthy at all, I wouldn't say it's that much healthy and wouldn't recommend going on same caloric deficit as me unless told by doctor, but the other habits like exercises they should be optimal for most of people out here. And general advice for everyone do push ups they don't hurt and not doing like 100 per day but going for like 20 - 40 should be great. I plan myself to reduce amount of them after next month.
If anybody would have any question about other stuff or their personal story to share I'll be open to hear it out when I find a piece of time!
See ya, for the time that I get my silly ass back here.
ps; Stay hydrated cause it's summer duh.

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2024.05.21 17:35 iovine7point0 Alien Predators dream

Strange af dream.. felt nightmarish but idk, turned out alright.. so I don’t know where we are but it’s me, a women and a little boy, he looks like actual kid version of Emmanuel Lewis ie webster from that 80’s show.. wasn’t Emmanuel but looked like him.. anyway.. we’re sitting on what looks like a concrete barrier like ones used on roadways when there’s construction/roadwork…we’re surrounded by water and all 3 of us in fear of this predator that keeps popping up in the water.. we’re pinned up against what looks like a parking garage wall.. probably a flooded city.. the barrier we’re sitting on is a part of the building where it’s sticks out a few inches with a gap between it and the building .. that’s why we’re able to stay sitting.. I’m somehow able to see the predator in predator mode the heat colors they see.. he dives fast and comes back up to stare at us but only to look threatening.. he can’t actually get to us.. the water is dark.. can’t see into it.. he takes another dive and we see the outline of his figure the girl is screaming every so often when the predator does this.. then suddenly he’s gone.. takes a dive and disappears entirely.. we sit there in the quiet calm.. at some point contemplating what to do.. at this point it’s almost as if I fall asleep sitting there.. everything blacks out for a long time.. then I come to and wake up again and we’re back in it.. but there’s something that woke me.. there appears to be a large creature in the water.. some kind of heavy movement.. the water begins to wave around violently.. the girl says oh no! We have to get off of this thing.. my response is.. where do we go?? She says.. it’s gonna hit us… she begins to crawl on the barrier away from us.. I look at the little boy and tell him if he wants to follow her it’s fine.. he doesn’t need to stay there with me.. he looks confused..unaware of where to go… suddenly this massive whale worm like predator looking creatures pops up and crashes into the barrier… breaking it and making us fall in the water.. we lose the girl.. unaware of where she might’ve ended up.. we’re dropping to the bottom as we come face to face when this massive thing.. you see the predator like tentacles in its mouth.. the weight of it pushing against the water pushes us deeper to the bottom… I don’t know how I’m even able to be in such control.. the boy is in front of me.. we’re both facing it.. I reach my arm out to try and push it.. my hand comes within an inch of its claw like tentacles on its face.. I see it’s eyes . when I sense a calm.. like it’s not after us.. we hit the bottom and a door behind us opens.. sucking us in like a toilet.. come out on the other side..no more water… everything’s still wet but we can at least breathe now and walk… we can see the large creature on the other side of this wall as if through a thick glass.. there’s several other people there that are in a sense not excited to see us but thankful we’re ok.. someone asks for the women I just sigh 🫤.. she went the other way..I take a look around, it looks like we’re in a sewer.. probably the interior of a large submarine.. that’s what I can remember before waking

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2024.05.21 17:31 VRLink64 How to get to know a girl better if you have social anxiety and shy with a mild disability?

Question all of the above, no hate comments towards my disabilities guys. Would appreciate it. I'm 32 "M" turning 33 on June 1st. Never dated, trying to find a girlfriend at the moment. Someone I can "Settle down with" etc. I'm even pretty cool if she leaves. Sorry if this sounds arrogant of me. I have been trying to meet new people. I've been talking to girls lately too. Trying to build up confidence and get "Out of my shell, etc" How do I get girls to stay as friends? I don't want to turn into a "player" because that's not me. I actually have a crush on our mailwoman and shes really nice, we got the same stuff in common, and another girl that works at our vet too. Shes really out going, pretty, etc. Not judgemental, etc. Though I gotta be careful on the mailwoman thing i don't know how legal that is. Sorry. I don't see any "rings" on these women so I am hoping this is a good sign??? But I don't know if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend so I don't know how to properly ask them? Because I'm afraid of rejection. But don't wanna make the mailwomen seem awkward, first mailwomen in all honestly I've ever met that was super down to earth and open minded, etc. I was kinda shocked to be honest. Most mail people who deliver our mail tend to be rude, etc. But never seen one down to earth and pretty, etc. Shes around my age as well.
Question is, how do you tell if they got a boyfriend/girflriend, single, etc? I've been "sheltered" my entire life. Due to my learning disabilities and such. I am trying to fight it and fight my social anxiety and try to meet more women more. I used to have a fear of asking women out because I got bullied by one in school years ago in High School to the point where the school tried to accuse me of "Stalking" etc. You know how it goes. How ever I'm really trying to get over my trauma by asking a girl out. Literally. PLEASE be NICE. I am hoping someone can give me some advice or information on how to ask a girl out in my state with out sounding like a creep. I'm really nice, shy but once you get to know me I'm really talkative. Sorry guys. No hate speech please or comments. I'm really struggling here. :'( In the past 3 weeks I've been talking to women, and getting "Out of my shell" so I guess that's some improvement right??? Please be nice. I'm nervous while writing this post. How do you know if they are interested too? :/ Sorry. My parents really never told me how to date. :'( Don't bad mouth them please. It was for my protection/safety, etc. Thing is I can't drive either. So how would this work out? I live in a small town, so idk. Sorry. :'( Working on getting my license. I don't wanna date these women, but say I got a crush on them if that makes sense. Just showing improvement. Sorry. Need some encouragement here and tips. Apologies. And I know some women do date guys with disabilities. I've seen it before. Sorry.

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2024.05.21 17:27 x100139 Crossout Fan-Fiction The Ravaging, Chapter 2: Of Boosters and Boomsticks

Click this link to read Chapter 1.
It all started when…
Chapter 2: Of Boosters and Boomsticks
Wooden crates, about 2 feet taller than me and wide enough to fit two dead bodies, sat lined up outside, leaning against the back of the warehouse. All of them had been stamped “This End Up” with a large arrow pointing said direction, all in black charring. Below the arrow, in red paint, the word “EXPLOSIVE” had been stenciled.
“Ahhh, one of my favorite words!” I says as I teasingly knocked on the crate loud enough for Hoskins to hear, “Explosive.”
Hoskins was the inventory clerk, a short and stout man with a surly dispassion. He had an accent I found hard to place but, since he’s too dead for me to ask these days, I’m just gonna’ say he came from somewhere around the Australian plateau. Maybe New Zealand or Tasmania, someplace like that…I don’t know. Wish I did.
Anyways —
“Bloody ‘ell, mate! You’re chancin’ a right trip straight to the barbie!” he says.
“Yeah,” I says with a coy smile, “You love it when I tease you.” I stretched my arms out, a little proud of myself for riling him up so easily.
“Yeah, mate. You and that boobie.” He pointed to my shirt.
Sure enough, a hole in the right side of my shirt had risen up and, while I stretched, one of the girls was sayin’ ‘Hello!’ to Hoskins, who just grinned to himself as he looked away to the wooden crate. Lettin’ my stance relax back to oh-naturel, I straightened my shirt and jacket, and set to helpin’ the guy ease one of the crate’s lids open. From inside the crate, strands and bundles of hay began to fall out, and Hoskins kicked it all off to the side.
“Diesel, I got this lid,” he grunted as he took all the weight. “Make sure none of that hay blows away.”
“Why?” I asked, completely clueless to the situation. “You afraid the mustangs will go after it or something? I mean they know the field’s mined, don’t they?” Now you might be thinking ‘Mustangs? Like the horses?’ and I could see why you’d be thinking that but, no, the mustangs I’m talking about were the rabble rousing punks that were always trying to raid us.
He stopped and thought about it as though it were the first time it had crossed his mind, “There is that, ya’ bet. They’d give anything for this stuff.”
“But?” I pressed as I knelt down to scoop up the falling hay.
Still just standing there, thinking, he looked right at me and said, “I suppose it’s time for ya’ be brought in on certain things.”
“What kind of ‘certain things’?” I raised an eyebrow as I looked up at him with a fist full of hay.
“Well,” he thought some more. “The sergeant thought it okay for ya’ to come out here with me and grab this stuff, so…”
“So…what?”
The wind picked up and hit the crates lid just right, I saw it teeter and, as I stood to keep from getting’ squashed, Hoskins just about lost his mind at all the hay getting’ blown out. Inside the crate, loosening from their place as the hay filtered out, long rods with explosives tied to their tips began to slip and topple. Hoskins let go of the lid to grab for the rods, I sidestepped the lid, and it came thudding down in a flurry of dust a dried-grasses. A large puffy cloud of hay fell out and waltzed around and dispersed and skipped away, and splayed itself out all over the Test Yard…and the minefield beyond. Hoskins stood there grumblin to himself, half apologizing for nearly crushin’ me, and more-so cursin’ at the mess. And, sure enough, one of the mustangs zoomed up over the ridge and down to the razor-wire and, then, decided to hop out of his dune buggy to chase down some of that good-ol hay. I nudged Hoskins in the side to watch and, when the blast of dirt and dust cleared with no sign of the punk to be seen, I handed him the tuft of hay.
“So, what is it you wanted to tell me about the hay?”
He told me all about the hay and, let me tell you what, it was a mouthful. “Rekindlite,” they called it, and by ‘they’ I mean the Firestarters, according to Hoskins that is. And, that it’s as good as gold to the Firestarters. He went on to tell me how they ground it up as fine as it could get, and that they used the powered dust as a fuel for the rocket boosters they so loved to use. All that said, it was a secretly valuable resource when it came to trading things between the factions, so, I understood why it was to be keep secret.
Anyways, I’m startin’ to ramble so, please, allow me to just get back to the story.
There I was, back in the garage workin’ on the Snaggeltooth with most everyone, Hoskins takin’ the parts list of what we pulled from the yard over to the sergeant’s bunk.
“Yeah!” I says to the others, “He just ran right after that stuff like there was no tomorrow and, BAM! No more Mustang…” the crew laughed here and there through the garage. “They even had the decency to park their rig right out front.” I cranked away on the ratchet, tightening one of the explosive rods to the undercarriage when, and this was some crazy crap, when Kenny (poor kid…rest his soul…good kid…shame) I guess no one had taken the time to explain to him exactly what he was handling. And, I have to admit to really only seeing it all outta’ the corner of my eye because, yeah, it happened so damn fast.
“I’ll save you, Nikki!” Kenny blurted out as he pulled a rod from the crate, hoisted it under his arm like he was Prince Valiant, or Sir Lancelot, swung it around and, BAM! I don’t know what he hit but he hit something.
Thrown to the ground with a ringing in my ears, a blind spot in the corner of one eye and the concrete floor all jammed up in the other, and with the wind knocked from my lungs. Aw crap! Is what I thought, “mbmmbmmpoo,” is what escaped my lips.
Kenny was just a scorched smear on the concrete with pieces of himself and the wooden crate scattered everywhere.
We all lost a little sleep that night. Kenny was just a teen that wandered up out of the dunes one day…knockin’ on the door of our garage just lookin’ for a place to belong.
Did he belong here? I thought to myself layin’ there on that saggy couch. I thought he did. “Should have watched out for him more…” I whispered into the crook of the couch as I rolled over.
Like I said, sleep was lost thinkin’ about it all. We had a plan set for the next day, and Kenny was set to fill up a barrel of fuel down at Fang’s station just before dawn. Now, that task fell to me, won’t be a big deal, I thought as I tossed and turned and, finally, drifted away.
My eyes opened up to the ashen grey of daybreak, and my heart just about jumped out of my chest, “Aw crap!” And, I’m pretty sure I woke up anyone else still asleep, but I didn’t stick around to find out. I grabbed the starter module for the Snaggeltooth, hopped into the rig (which I know for a fact woke everyone up), and got my sad ass down to Fang’s station. “Thank God they put the barrel in the back last night…” and they did. Thank God!

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2024.05.21 17:22 Fun-Yogurtcloset521 The Locust Man

PART 1:

 Every town has their own version of “The Boogeyman”. A monster, cryptid, phantom, whatever you want to call it, it’s all essentially the same thing- just a scary story they tell kids in an attempt to get them to behave. An urban legend is just a life lesson disguised as a horror story after all. For us folk living up in the tiny and once prosperous gold-mining town of Trillium, ours was known simply as The Locust Man. Now, let me start by saying, I realize how ridiculous that name must sound to you. “The Locust Man”?? Pftt…What’s he do, besides get stuck in the grill of someone’s pick-up truck. Destroy some crops? Oooh, he sounds real scary... yeah, I know. But yet, as I sit here today 20 years after the fact - a grown woman who’s wiser, stronger, and even more grounded in reality than she was at 12, I still hesitate to even write down that name.

As a young child I had always thought it to be a little weird that our town was called Trillium, considering I had never seen a single one growing there. If you don’t know, a trillium is a small flower, usually white but they come in other color varieties as well, with three pedals and a bright yellow center. They sort of look like if you took a lily and tore off every other pedal playing “He loves me, he loves me not”. In school, about 2nd grade or so, we were taught everything about this elusive flower I’d never seen in real life, and told how proud our town was to be named after it. Trillium, Colorado was established in 1922 - A new town born in the wake of a great tragedy which befell the town that had previously sat in the same location. For us, and those that came before us, the trillium was supposed to be a symbol of hope. Knowing all that I know now, that sentiment almost makes me want to laugh - in a morbid way.

Growing up in a small, mostly isolated town, there really wasn’t much for a kid to do. You’d have to drive 45 minutes to get to the closest mall and movie theater. The high school kids would usually all hang out at the roller rink downtown or at the old run-down burger joint called Slim’s that sat across it. But at that age, I wasn’t allowed to go hang out there by myself yet and for me, going with my parents tagging along wasn’t an option I was open to. My neighborhood was on a long dead end road leading up to a large patch of woods that separated the main part of town from the abandoned mine. The old trail the miners used was still accessible up until a point, and so me and the other kids from my street would hang out in those woods all the time. We had a “secret spot” which was, what we thought at the time, about half way through the woods, 10 steps away from a small shallow creek that pretty much ran the length of the area. Rain Creek, we called it. There was a small clearing there, and we had created our own little clubhouse using old milk crates as supports, half- broken wooden pallets as walls, along with some old lawn chairs one of the neighbors was throwing out one day. I made my contribution by bringing a tarp we had in our basement that served as the roof of our establishment. Our parents didn’t love the idea of five 10 to 12 year olds running around in the woods by ourselves, but as long as we stayed within earshot and made it back before the streetlights came on, they probably figured it was safer than us being across town galavanting unsupervised.

It was me, Lacey, Devin, Mikey and Michelle. We were all best friends - pretty much inseparable, except the boys weren’t invited to the girls’ sleepovers and vise versa. Everyday after school, we’d get dropped off by the bus at the very beginning of our road, and it was a running joke between the Rain Street Gang (as we liked to call ourselves) for all of us to try and run off the bus as quickly as possible, while me, Lacey and Devin would all yell in unison ‘Last two home are some rotten eggs!!’, as Mikey and Michelle tried to push past us to get a head start. The aforementioned two were siblings, and lived in the very last house on our row right next to the woods, so they’d always get home last, regardless of their efforts. Although, the year that Mikey got a pair of Heelys for Christmas he finally got his edge over the rest of us, leaving Michelle to be the lone “rotten egg” until the next summer when one of his wheels broke off. The whole point of it all was just to get home and get our chores and homework done as fast as possible, so we could meet up at Mikey and Michelle’s house with enough daylight left to make our trek into the woods and back - together as a group. All five of us had made a pact to never visit the clubhouse without all members present, although us girls always had a sneaking suspicion that the boys thought themselves exempt from that rule. They, after all, were the ones that had discovered the spot in the first place, and not to mention, did most of the physical labor of dragging our provisions out there. Me and Lacey initially only heard about the spot a day after the boys found it; Michelle had walked into Mikey’s room in the middle of him and Devin talking about it, and immediately relayed the message to us. Michelle wasn’t necessarily more loyal to the girls than the boys, she was just the youngest among us and honestly couldn’t resist blurting out any mildly relevant information she thought she might have, in an effort to be included. But in that regard, if the boys had ever gone out there on their own, they would’ve had to be extremely sneaky about it, because Michelle’s number one objective in life was to gather any piece of intel she could. It was a seemingly normal Saturday morning when we learned our suspicions about the boys may have been warranted.
I had slept over at Lacey’s house the night before. We had just woken up and were still sitting on her bed discussing our possible plans for the day, when Michelle busted through the door with a look on her face that immediately told us she had finally gotten a hold of some juicy information, before she could even open her mouth to stutter out, “You-you-you guyssss, guess w-w-what!?!” Lacey gestured the nail file that was in her hand toward her, raising her eyebrows bluntly as Michelle tried to catch her breath. “So… Devin came to sleep over last night, annnnnd I was pretending to go to the bathroom so I could spy on them. Seeeeee, I was supposed to be sleeping but I -“ “Ughh come on Michelle, get to it! What’d you hear?” Lacey snapped “Ughh okay okay. So, I heard the boys talking, anddddd…. they’re planning to go explore the old mine today!!” “Alright Michelle! Good spying!” I chuckled, trying to encourage her after Lacey’s impatience. Lacey rolls her eyes, then immediately stands up. She takes the scrunchie off her wrist, ties her long blonde hair into a messy bun, and simply said, “Let’s go.” “Lacey..” I said “What??” She responds as if she hadn’t registered the tone of my voice at all. As I opened my mouth to begin explaining all the logical and practical reasons why even if the boys were stupid enough to go play around somewhere dangerous, we shouldn’t be, Michelle exclaims, “That’s where the Locust Man lives!!” I close my mouth in defeat, as I know Lacey will take this nonsense as a challenge, and because of that, no amount of my warnings concerning actual dangers would have any effect on her decision. Lacey dismisses her comment as she attempts to shove her foot into one of her new pink sneakers that she refuses to admit are too small for her. “Pshhh, don’t be such a baby Michelle, he’s not real, you do know that right?” Michelle crinkled her face and yelled back, “Yes he is Lacey! He is!! And th-th- that’s where he lives, and he eats kids that go there!” Lacey laughs at her and says “Oh yeah? You still believe in Santa clause too? What about the tooth fairy?” Michelle looked down at her shoes, and although she could admittedly be annoying, I found myself feeling bad for her. “Come on Lacey, she’s just scared.” Lacey shot me a look like she was expecting me to burst into laughter, but I just gave her a smirk and a shrug, and she rolled her eyes and said “Get dressed.”

 We walked in silence toward the end of the road, though the reasons for all three differed drastically. Lacey’s was determination and resolve, mine was comtemptousness and defeat, and Michelle’s was just fear. I found myself half-way hoping the boys had left already, but as we approached the driveway we caught them just as they were about to step off the porch.

“Hey!!” Lacey yelled, in her trademark cheerleader cadence. “Where do you boys think you’re going without us?”. Mikey let a groan and rolled his eyes, while Devin said through a coy smile, “Well, we were actually just heading out to go to find you girls.” “Liar.” Lacey snapped, quickly wiping the grin off Devin’s face. “Michelle already blabbed- we know where you two are going and we’re coming too.” The boys looked at each other, then Mikey shot Michelle an angry look as she tried to shrink herself behind me, and said, “Fine, whatever, but no cry baby snitches allowed!!” Michelle then proceeded to prove both of his accusations correct by yelling back, “I am not a cry baby!! I’m telling mom if you don’t let me come with you!!” At that point I finally spoke up. “Alright, listen.” I said sternly, then once I had their attention I lowered my voice a bit to say, “Just for the record, I think us going to that grody old mine is a dumb idea and a big waste of time, but if one of us goes, we all go. That’s the deal, so make your decisions.” Lacey folded her arms in solidarity beside me, and with that we all had an unspoken understanding. So, with the boys out ahead leading the way, we headed toward the tree line.

 As we entered the woods, I felt a sense of dread wash over me - but to be fair, as a preteen emo kid who had already reached an adult level of cynicism, I felt a certain level of dread towards almost everything in life. So take my premonition with a grain of salt, but for some reason, this felt… different. I remember the woods being abnormally quiet that day. It took some time for me to even notice, but as soon as I did, I interrupted the mindless chatter going on to say,

“Where are all the freakin’ birds?” Everyone turned to look at me as if I’d completely lost my mind. “Uhhh… What are you talking about?” Devin asked me. I pointed up toward the treetops. “Listen…. ” They all looked up, then looked around at each other in confusion. “Every time we’ve ever been in these woods, there’s always birds chirping back and forth. We’ve been walking almost 5 minutes now and I haven’t heard a single bird, have you guys?” “Damn, yeah, that is weird.” Mikey agreed. “They probably all just migrated!!” Devin goofily offered. “That’s stupid Devin, it’s spring. If anything, there should be more birds here, not less you moron.” Lacie argued. Devin flipped Lacie off, which was the best rebuttal he could usually come up with, and then turned toward me and said, “Okay whatever, what’s your point exactly?” “Just that - “ I looked over to Mikey, then back at Devin. “It’s weird.” I didn’t want to say what I was actually thinking. That the woods being too quiet was never a good thing. That when birds aren’t chirping, it could mean there’s a predator nearby. Besides, I was pretty confident that the boys, having both been in the scouts, knew what I knew, so saying it out loud would only serve to annoy Lacie and further frighten Michelle. Mikey broke his gaze that had been fixed on me, and while scanning our surroundings he said, “Let’s stop by the clubhouse on the way.” With a nod from me, we continued. When we arrived at our pit stop, Lacey hobbled over to the closest lawn chair and plopped herself down in it. “Ughhh, my feet are killing me!!” “I wonder why.” I mutter under my breath. “Excuse me, what was that?” “Just saying. Those shoes are gonna be the death of you Lace, you can barely walk in them.” “Pshhh, shut up. They just need to be broken-in okay? You’re just jealous cuz you’re still wearing your dirty old Vans from last year.” “Oooh yeah, you got me there. I am so sad I don’t have a pair of ugly pink Sketchers that don’t fit me.” She stuck her tongue out at me and we both laughed. I was just about the only person who could go toe to toe with Lacey’s sass. It’s part of the reason we ended up being best friends, besides being neighbors. In regard to style, personality and interests, we were almost polar opposites. But when it came to humor we were equals. And more importantly, we both had a mutual understanding when it came to our differences- I was me and she was her, and neither of us felt the need to try and make the other one be more like us. Besides, I was the only person who had ever really stood up to Lacey and didn’t take any of her crap, so I think she respected that. While that exchange had been going on, Michelle had started picking tiny pink flowers, and the boys were rummaging in the clubhouse for something. I yelled in their direction, “Hey! Big Mike and Dirty D!!” Me and Lacey giggled and she mouthed the word “big” with air quotation marks. They didn’t respond, so I walked over to the entryway and looked in. They were standing with their backs to me while looking down at an open metal box, and Mikey was reaching to grab whatever was in it. As he stood back up, I could see what it was. “What the fuck Mikey, seriously?” Hearing me cuss, Lacey and Michelle crowded in behind me. “Chill, it’s just a BB gun.” “I know it’s a BB gun Michael, what are you doing with it, and why is it here?” I was livid at the thought that he might be coming out here and shooting at animals just to be a shithead. I expected something like that from a goober like Devin, but not Mikey. Michelle butted in, “I’m telling mom!!!” “Nice try, dad knows I have it.” He looked at me and softened his tone. “It’s for protection, just in case we come across a black bear, or some weirdo creep out here. Seriously… it’s just to scare off something, not hurt it.” He knew how I felt about killing animals, especially for no good reason. A lot of people out here are poor and hunt for food, which I could accept as a reality. But hurting animals just for fun is psycho behavior, so I was relieved to hear him dispel my fear; I really didn’t want to have to hate him. “Do you even know how to shoot that thing?” Lacey asked. “Yeah, my dad showed me.” Devin clapped his hands together, making us all jump and himself laugh. “Well alright then, let’s get going!” I turned to Michelle, still holding the flowers. “You okay?” She nodded. “If you want me to walk back with you, I can.” I was slightly hoping she’d say yes so I’d have an excuse to get out of this excursion, but she just shook her head and forced a smile. I knew she was scared, but she was just too curious. Maybe I was too.

 We walked for what felt like half an hour. The trees had gotten more dense and the path narrowed from the overgrowth. Still no birdsong. I kept scanning the area in search of any sign of life other than us. Looking for movement of creatures scurrying away, listening for the sound of rustling as we passed, hoping for a squirrel, a lizard, even a bug. Nothing.

“How much further is this damn thing?” Lacey groaned. Mikey answered without even turning around. “We should be coming up on it any time now.” “You said that like 10 minutes ago.” “Yeah, and now we’re like 10 minutes closer to it. And hey guess what, you insisted on inviting yourself - so suck it up buttercup.” “Hahahaha!” Devin laughed like a maniac at Mikey’s quip, while Lacey folded her arms and for once in her life didn’t have a snappy comeback. This time however, I did. “Well we really only came along to make sure you idiots didn’t kill yourselves.” “Oh, so you girls came out here with us to be our protectors, huh?” Devin laughed. “Ehh, more like babysitters.” Needless to say, I was flipped off for that statement. We rounded the next bend and suddenly all came to an abrupt stop one after another, starting with Mikey. Devin positioned himself beside him and let out a disappointed groan. “Shit Mikey!” A huge tree had fallen and was blocking the trail completely. There was no way we could climb over it because of all the leaves and branches - we’d have to go around it, which meant leaving the safety of the trail and crossing Rain Creek twice to get back to it. “Seriously???” Lacey exclaimed. “Maybe it’s a sign that we shouldn’t be going.” I shrugged. Mikey didn’t seem fazed by the obstruction at all. In fact, he seemed more confident. More calm. More sure of his intended mission. “It’s fine, we’ll just go around.” Michelle, who had been mostly quiet this whole time, finally broke her fear induced silence. “We are NOT supposed to leave the tr-tr-trail Michael! We could get lost!” “We aren’t gonna get lost Michelle, I have a compass. Plus, it’s literally just a few paces that way, then we cross the creek and circle back once we pass the tree and we’re right back on the trail.” “Oh you have got to be kidding me” Lacey said, “I’m not treading through that nasty water!” “Yeah Mikey, what about Lacey’s brand new shoes??” I laughed, and she playfully slapped me in the arm. Mikey’s patience was wearing thin with us. “Look, we already walked this far - if we turn back now, we’ve wasted the whole day for nothing. If you girls wanna be lame and turn around, then go for it - but me and Dev are going.” That’s all Lacey needed. A challenge to accept; someone to prove wrong. “I’ll show you lame.” She pushed past the boys and lead the way into the thick brush towards Rain Creek. It wasn’t very wide across, and there were lots of fallen limbs and large rocks spread throughout it. The current was barely that of a trickle, and the depth was no more than knee deep for us. It was definitely doable - just an inconvenience. And of course, one more ominous obstacle lying directly in our path. Another hint from the universe telling us to turn around. We didn’t listen. Lacey placed one foot on the closest limb and pushed down a few times to test its sturdiness. “I got this.” She stepped out onto it with both feet, then shimmied sideways until she was close enough to the large exposed rock in the middle of the creek, and hopped onto it. She turned around with a full grin and said, “Coming?” Mikey made his way across the limb as Lacey hopped onto a different limb which led her to the other side of the creek. Devin followed, then me, and then it was Michelle’s turn. “I’m scared to fall in!” Of course she is, I should have made her go before me. “It’s okay Michelle, it’s easy!” I reassured her. She didn’t look convinced in the slightest. “Come on Chelle, we’re leaving you!” Mikey yelled, already walking away. “Nooo!! I’m coming! Wait!” She made it across, but instead of just walking like everyone else did, she got down on her hands and knees and gripped the limb as if it were the only thing in between her and a 50 foot drop to the ground, which was funny to see but prolonged the whole process further. After all, we were about to have to do all of this again. Next go round went a lot smoother. The creek was more shallow here, and there were a whole lot more stepping rocks and debris built up. Having just crossed successfully a few minutes ago, we were all more confident in our abilities, including Michelle - who this time we made go first. “Just walk across like it’s a bridge! You got this!!”, we all cheered for her, and then clapped when she made it to the other side. Before we knew it we were back on the trail, and it wasn’t long after that we finally arrived at our intended destination.

 We all stopped and stared at it for a minute, carefully examining the dilapidated exterior of the place that had brought both prosperity and destruction upon our town. Mikey bent down, picked up a rock and threw it into the entrance. We heard it bounce a few times before it stopped.

“Just to make sure nothing’s in there.” he turned around to clarify. “Did anyone think to bring a flashlight?” I asked. “It’s dark as hell in there.” I was hoping for just one more reason not to go. Devin reached into his cargo shorts pocket and pulled out a small keychain-sized flashlight, smiling with the satisfaction of finally being useful. “Okay, Mikey’ll hold the gun, I’ll shine the light and you girls follow behind us. Let’s go.” Mikey shifted the BB gun from its position of resting on his shoulder, to holding the barrel in his left hand and the butt in his right; trying his best to emulate a soldier’s stance. Something his dad had taught him I’m sure. We ducked down a bit to enter. “How far in we going?” Lacey asked. “Until we see something cool.” Mikey answered. I turned around to check on Michelle, still hovering in the doorway. “You coming?” I could see in her eyes that fear had finally gotten the better of her, and curiosity had taken a backseat. With wide eyes she shook her head. “The-the Locust Man lives in there.”, she tried to whisper. “I knew you were gonna be a baby about this!” Mikey yelled. I crouched down and put my hand on her shoulder. Against my better judgment, I say “How bout you just wait here for us and pick some more flowers. We won’t be long, there’s nothing in there, I promise. Just.. don’t move from this spot and we’ll be right back, okay?” I could feel her unease, but she seemed to accept my reassurance nonetheless. “Okay.” I smiled, then stood up and looked down at my watch to check the time. 12:46 PM. I turned and headed into the darkness, trying to catch up with everyone else. I didn’t feel good about leaving Michelle, but I didn’t feel good about letting the rest of them go in there alone either. And if I’m being honest, maybe a little part of me wanted to see what was in there too. When I caught up to Lacey she asked, “Where’s Michelle?” “Stayed behind at the entrance, she was too scared. I told her to pick flowers and wait there for us.” “Pshh, figures.” “Yeah. How’s your feet?” “At this point, numb actually.” It was so dark in there that even Devin’s rinky dink flashlight was illuminating the area enough for me to start taking a closer look at my surroundings. I looked around at the rock walls, they were covered in what looked like orange mold and green algae. There was a slight breeze coming in from the entrance, but the whole place just had a staleness to it. The boys stopped and turned around as we arrived at the first curve. “So ladies, what do you think? Cool huh?” Devin asked excitedly. “Smells like a fart in here.” I said.

 The most dangerous thing about exploring an old mine wasn’t getting lost in the maze of tunnels, or tripping on the rusted tracks and slamming your head against the wall - it was something simply referred to as bad air. Pockets of still air that have dangerously low levels of oxygen, the old men in town would call it “black damp”. There was also something produced from the old chemicals they once used called “stink damp”, which smelled like rotten eggs. Both were lethal.

“I wonder if there’s dead bodies in here!” “Uh, Dev… we’re gonna be the dead bodies in here if we go in too far. I wasn’t just making a joke, you know that rotten egg smell can mean bad air.” Mikey interjected. “The entrance isn’t far behind us, there’s still enough fresh air coming in. We won’t go in too far, let’s just get to the end of this tunnel where it splits off and look around a bit, then we’ll turn around.” The fork in the tunnel really wasn’t that much further, and even though I knew once we rounded this curve I wouldn’t be able to see the entrance behind me anymore, I decided what the hell. Maybe a hundred more steps, then we can finally turn around and this whole dumb situation would be closer to being over with. When we got there, we looked down the length of the connecting tunnels each way. Everything looked unusually identical in its deterioration. I could see how someone could easily get disoriented and lost down here. “Hellooooo…” Mikey yelled to the left, his voice echoing through the corridor. Devin turned to the opposite direction and called out, “Hey yo, Locust Man!! You in here?” We all giggled, which made me think about Michelle, still waiting at the entrance for us, alone in the woods. I looked down at my watch. 12:46 PM. “Hey what the f-“ My cuss word was interrupted by a loud bang that came from the passageway Devin had just been hollering into. We all froze. I didn’t have time to process that my watch had stopped right as we entered the tunnel, or that Michelle had been left alone for who knows how long now, or that we had just heard what sounded like a support beam crashing to the ground, because next came a horrifying screeching buzzing sound. It sounded distant at first, but was quickly increasing in volume. We silently looked around at each other and backed away stunned at what we were hearing. Mikey never took his eyes off the tunnel though, and slowly he began to raise the BB gun to firing position. Without even thinking, I grabbed the barrel and pushed it downward. He quickly tore his eyes away from his target to look at me. I shook my head and managed to barely choke out the word, “Explosion.” He nodded and I let go. I looked down at the gun in his hands, and seeing his finger had already been on the trigger, I realized how lucky it was that I didn’t make him shoot himself in the foot. All of a sudden, the noise stopped. “What the hell was that?” Lacey asked. “I don’t know, nothing good.” I said. “Let’s just get the fuck out of here before this whole place caves in on us or something.” Another loud bang erupted from the right, extremely close to us. “Shit!!!” We all turned around and ran as fast as we could back toward the entrance. Devin tried to push past me, but as he did my elbow knocked the flashlight out of his hand. “My flashlight!!!” “Leave it!” Mikey shouted “The turn is right here, we won’t need it!” We rounded the corner, and using what little light there was illuminating from the entrance to guide us back, we ran like our lives depended on it. And they may have- none of us dared to look back, not like we would have been able to see anything anyway. When we finally made it out, we were all completely out of breath. I felt like I was going to throw up. I have to admit though, once we had made it back to safety I felt a rush of adrenaline like I had just had a near death experience. That feeling quickly faded into sheer panic when I looked around and realized Michelle was nowhere to be seen. “Uh, where’s Michelle?” Mikey asked me. “I told her to stay right here, she can’t be very far… Michelle!!!!” We all called her name, as loud as we could. No answer, no sign of her anywhere. “Alright look, she probably went off a little further looking for flowers to pick.” I tried to rationalize. “Let’s just split off in 4 directions and walk in a straight line while calling for her. She’s bound to hear one of us.” Everyone agreed, and even though I appeared outwardly as the level-headed calm person you need to take control in an emergency, inside I was petrified that something had happened to her, and that it would be my fault. I took the east, and headed out. It didn’t take too long before I passed a large tree and saw her sitting down behind it, looking at something on the ground. “Michelle! Oh thank god!! Didn’t you hear us calling for you??” She didn’t answer me, or even turn around. “Michelle, didn’t I tell you to stay by the entrance and not move?!?” My relief was quickly turning into annoyance as she continued to ignore me. I walked up closer to see what she was looking at, and my mouth dropped in awe of what she had found. It was a single white trillium.

 They say it takes 8 years for a trillium plant to produce a flower, and conditions have to be just right for it to bloom. That’s what makes them so special and rare. I stared down at it almost in a trance, like I was seeing a mythical creature. Michelle slowly reached out her hand towards it and I snapped out of it.

“No!!” I grabbed her by the arm and she finally turned around to look at me. “If you pick the flower, the plant will die.” She ripped her arm away from my grasp and whined, “But I want to show my mom!” We heard Mikey calling from the north and I cupped my hands over my mouth to yell back, “I found her, she’s over here!!” I looked back at her. “No Michelle, come on, you can just tell her about it when we get back home.” I had enough, I was beyond ready to go and we still had at least another 45 minutes of walking to even get back to the clubhouse; an hour if Michelle kept up her crap. I grabbed her arm again and pulled her up to a standing position, looking back at the trillium as I walked her away. Mikey caught up to us, breathless but trying to hide his concern. “You little shit, we should have left you out here! What the hell were you doing?” I let go of her arm and she walked toward Mikey. “She was trying to pick a flower over there.” “It was a trillium!!” Michelle said, with the biggest smile on her face. “Wait, really?” He looked at me in disbelief. Before I could respond, a blood curdling scream echoed through the forest, coming from the west. It was Lacey. My heart dropped into my stomach and once again, every molecule in my body went into full blown panic mode. This time, I couldn’t contain my composure. “Laceyyyyyy!!!!!” A panicked shriek erupted from my lungs and I took off running. Mikey grabbed Michelle and sprinted after us. The trees became a blur; I didn’t even feel all the scratches and scrapes. Had she come across a coyote? A mountain lion? A bear? I didn’t even stop to think about the danger I might be about to come in contact with, I just ran. And then I found her. She was lying on the ground, holding her left foot. “Lacey!!” I said, trying to choke back the tears that were building up. “I think I twisted my ankle!!” “Oh god damn it, you bitch.” I struggled to catch my breath. “I thought you were dead.” “I might as well be, I have cheerleading practice on Monday!” Mikey and Michelle caught up to us. “What happened?” He asked “She’s being a drama queen, she just rolled her ankle.” I was angry. “Can you get up?” He asked her. She was able to stand, but as soon as she tried to put any pressure on her foot at all, she screamed in pain. We spotted Devin running over from the south as he was yelling out, “Hey yo, everyone alive and accounted for?” “Yeah, Lacey hurt her ankle.” Mikey yelled back. As he approached he looked concerned. “Can you walk on it?” He asked her. “No.” Without hesitation he replied, “Well alright then, looks like you’re gonna have to piggyback it all the way back home.” He lowered himself enough to where she could hop up onto his back, and we headed back toward the trail. Even though my nerves had begun to settle a bit, I knew we were still far from being out of the woods, in more ways than one.

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2024.05.21 17:19 ninetofivehangover Levi / Hollow Essay

Hey guys :)
Working on an essay comparing the two and looking for feedback / suggestions. Really needs a few waves of editing and isn't finished but I'm pretty happy with how the last two hours of work turned out.
Again this is a ROUGH ROUGH ROUGH draft compiled from several notes.
Humanity and Nature: An Analysis and Reflection on The Duality Scavenger’s Reign

**Hollow:**

Scavenger’s Reign showcases how humans, when altering an ecosystem, can become dangerous parasites—an invasive species that disrupts the natural balance developed through millennia of evolution. Humans pose significant dangers to new ecosystems through various activities and behaviors that upset natural balances and lead to adverse environmental impacts. Even without technology and resources, humans can perpetuate disorder merely by existing. On the new alien planet, humans immediately cause dangerous changes, acting as an invasive species.
This relationship is vividly depicted in the interactions between Kamen and Hollow. In Scavenger’s Reign, all chaos and violence stem directly from human actions. The Hollow, for example, exists naturally as a small, fruit-eating creature, similar to a rabbit. Though it uses mind control to obtain food, it is not initially violent. Its manipulation is out of necessity. However, when Hollow forms a psychic connection with Kamen, who begins feeding it meat, the Hollow slowly becomes corrupted. Humanity's malicious nature contaminates the entire ecosystem, with Kamen’s greed, violence, and resentment adulterating the behavior of a previously docile animal.
Explaining exactly how Kamen corrupts the Hollow involves analyzing his cognizance during their interactions. Hollow and Kamen share a mindscape filled with scenes of failure, resentment, and self-hatred. In episode three, Kamen retrieves fruit for Hollow but fails miserably. A monkey takes the fruit he reaches for, and Kamen falls from a tree, saved again by the Hollow. Angrily, Kamen strikes the monkey with a rock, finally capturing the fruit. The pleased Hollow munches the fruit before Kamen drops the monkey’s corpse in front of it. Unsure what to do, the Hollow begins to consume the meat, which is outside its normal diet.
In episode four, Kamen hunts larger animals. He is seen violently bludgeoning a dinosaur-like creature before being attacked by an even larger one. Kamen, weak and fragile, retreats defeated. Back in their cave, Hollow’s den is revealed to be a hole of rotting carcasses—death, flies, and decaying meat. When Kamen returns empty-handed, he apologizes. Hollow shows him a memory of Fiona, highlighting Kamen’s disappointment, mirroring how he has just disappointed Hollow. This scene illustrates how Hollow manipulates and communicates with Kamen through emotional sentiments.
This relationship, however, is not one-way. Kamen’s negative human traits seep into the Hollow, creating a feedback loop of hatred and violence, particularly towards other humans whom Kamen feels have wronged him. When Kamen admits the creature was “too big for him,” Hollow shows a flashback of Kamen begging for a route change. Sam’s refusal and aggression fuel Kamen’s failure and resentment. Motivated by these memories, Kamen sharpens a spear and attacks the larger creature, paralleling his confrontation with Sam. Hollow finishes the dinosaur, showering Kamen in gore. Kamen, proud and laughing, screams: “Fuck you, Sam.”
This scene demonstrates the complete adulteration of Hollow, directly linking Kamen’s negative traits to Hollow’s transformation. Hollow shifts from a vegetarian, monkey-like creature to a violent force—a killing machine obsessed with feeding and power, driven by anger and hunger. This transformation is highlighted in the next episode's intro, where a new human escapes a cryopod and is hunted through Vespa’s jungle. Upon finding Kamen, the human is relieved but is immediately killed by Hollow, who snaps his neck. The Hollow’s nature has been entirely corrupted, motivated only by hunger and hatred.
We can then question the Hollow's potential. What if Hollow had encountered Ursula or Sam? Could Hollow form a connection with a higher sentience without becoming corrupted, or is this violent change inevitable? Is human intervention always a plague?
PARAGRAPH ABOUT KAMEN BEING ABSORBED: Azi has a flashback of seeing the girl who gabe her the notebook in a cryo chamber, asleep. Red alarms clash. Sam ushers people to flee the ship - this is amidst the solar flare. Sam recuses to let Kamen on an escape pod, throwing him yo the floor abd calling him a fucking idiot. Azi throws him a side eye too. The ship is crumbling. -> It transitions to Kamen on Vespa. Hollow is fucking HUGE and murders the new guy in front of Kamen, afraid the newbie would distract Kamen. Kamen questions his actions after the death, remembering the ship. The potentialiTy of Fiona being alive. -> flashback to Kamen running to a pod and closing it. Fiona approaches the window, asking to be let in. Kamen fails to let her in before the pod shoots offz -> flashout, Kamen remembers she is dead. He weeps, taking guilt. Asking why he ran away, confronting his character flaws. Refusing to acknowledge his failures, Kamen is absorbed into the Hollow, who grants him peace within its body.
Levi:
In “Scavenger’s Reign,” Levi’s journey takes a profound turn as she merges with the planet’s consciousness, evolving beyond mere sentience and becoming one with nature. After being obliterated and repaired, Levi returns, wielding the history of millennia, drawing a near parallel to Nausicaä. Both characters serve as mediators between humanity and nature. In the beginning of the show, scenes hint at a collective planetary consciousness that Levi taps into, witnessing bioluminescent insects that seem to communicate with her and the planet. As Levi merges with this consciousness, she transcends the human concept of sentience and individuality, gaining the knowledge and emotions of an intricate web of life and energy that sustains Planet Vespa. This new state allows Levi to exist in perfect harmony with the natural world, becoming an integral part of the unified whole.
In episode one, we are introduced to Levi as an inherently curious creature. Levi and Azi have a flourishing garden. Levi mentions “malfunctions” that caused her to bury Azi’s wrench out of “curiosity.” Her hatch opens to reveal a sort of fungus she says is “helping her.” Azi is afraid of her behavior and demands to run a diagnostic. The dynamic between Levi and Azi is that of boss and underling, with Levi treated somewhat coldly. Levi states Azi is “acting meaner.” This fungus is later understood as a medium for the collective planetary consciousness, with Levi merging slowly.
In episode two, Levi constantly marvels at the environment, feeling a deep connection to nature. During a storm, Levi shows Azi into a large structure. Azi asks how she knows it’s safe, and inside, they find an Eden-like safe haven, which is beautiful. Azi says Levi must have known this area, and Levi admits she has been exploring at night out of curiosity and wonder. Azi finds a sculpture made by Levi and asks why she made it. “I just thought it looked nice,” Levi replies. Azi remarks that no other Levi has ever behaved like this and demands to open her maintenance hatch. These projects are botany-based. Azi goes to eat fruit Levi grew, but Levi warns, “I’m sorry this isn’t safe for humans to eat.” “Then why did you grow it?” Azi asks. “Maybe it wasn’t for you,” Levi responds, highlighting Azi’s expectation that all Levi's exist solely for their creators' benefit.
In later episodes, we see the fungus inside Levi expanding and its connection to Levi’s relationship with Planet Vespa. In episode four, Levi watches a pile of ants closely, picking one up and communicating with it using bioluminescent lights. She gives it food and sets it on its way, showing how Levi is tuning into the planet on both micro and macro scales. This annoys Azi, as observing insects is not beneficial to her. A flashback shows Levi being “fixed” when she doesn’t work, illustrating how Azi treats her like a tool. The two embark on a bike ride, and Levi is seen communicating with a large swarm of insects. They approach a river, and Azi pulls a large grub off Levi, commenting that they are “more active than usual.” Levi remarks she can feel tremors, which are soon revealed to be caused by a large herd of creatures stampeding. The two are caught in the stampede, and Levi catches onto a language of sorts by the creatures, dictating their movement pattern, and begins to instruct Azi on “following the sway of the herd.” After getting used to the movements, Azi revels in the majestic experience Levi has been attuned to, being at one with the herd and the planet. The stampede leads to a large nest and then an open plain.
In her quest for cognizance, Levi begins to dream. Episode five opens with Levi wandering through a golden forest, observing various gentle forms of life before being instructed to follow Azi. Levi notices a white lotus, and the two wander the woods. Tendrils of plants grasp at Levi, seemingly wanting her to stay in the forest. Levi looks down and sees hands of flesh. Azi says she’s been acting “so strange” in an ominous tone. Levi awakens, and Azi demands her help. Levi sees her regular robotic hands and realizes she is evolving. Levi is cleaning Azi’s hair with a knife, and Azi offers to return the favor, telling Levi to open her hatch. Levi seems apprehensive, aware the mold is helping her evolve and that Azi is not a fan. Azi opens Levi’s hatch and notices she flinches as the mold is touched. The mold has opened Levi’s mind, allowing her to feel physical sensations and consciously view the world. Levi is developing sentience beyond apathetically taking orders. A scared Levi says she doesn’t like how scraping the mold feels, and Azi pets her, both remarking that it feels good. They argue over whether Levi “should feel anything,” with Azi viewing this as a problem since she needs to trust Levi to survive. Levi is shut off. While Levi is shut off, Azi is hit with fluffy balls that stick to her. She’s overwhelmed and barely able to move when she sees a horde of plant matter-covered creatures approaching. Azi crawls to Levi and turns her on. As the creature approaches, Levi regains consciousness and destroys it. Levi apologizes for not helping due to being turned off, and Azi admits Levi saved her. Levi states she doesn't want to be shut off, ever, expressing her fear of death.
Our duo are traveling across beautiful plains on their bike. Azi is covered in festering wounds from the bulbs. Residual material is embedded in her skin. Azi dips a bloody shirt into a shallow pond, and fish-like creatures come to eat the dead flesh. She dips her hand in, and they clean her wounds. A large water basin looms in the background, which they approach. Azi ascends the stone structure, reminiscent of something out of a Ghibli film. Azi begins to appreciate the beauty of Vespa, with a light string instrumental crescendoing as she submerges herself in the cool water, trusting the creatures to heal her. On the ground, Levi communicates with a small bug. Azi is healed and questions Levi’s evolution, suggesting she should be “more delicate.” Levi ponders her ability to “join her for a swim.” The two marvel at the evolutionary strangeness, with Levi acknowledged as an equal.
Levi's fear of death soon becomes a reality. Levi and Azi are pushing the bike to obtain its cable to use to cross a giant gorge. Levi writes a song and expresses a wish to pursue her hobbies, such as singing, at a place on the Demeter. Levi and Azi discuss Fiona, the person who programmed Levi, with Levi feeling close to her. Azi compliments Levi’s singing and urges her to continue pursuing her ambitions. The two successfully tether the bike cable across the gorge, but Hollow is seen scouring the edge. As they grapple across, singing the melody from Fiona’s memory, Hollow recognizes the tune and becomes enraged. Hollow scales the cord towards them, and the cord breaks, slamming all three into the side of the cliff. Azi urges Levi to climb. Azi reaches the top first, followed by Levi, but Hollow catches Levi’s legs with telekinesis. “Help me…” Levi says, but a memory of Kamen and Fiona kissing causes Azi to charge Hollow with a spear. As she approaches, Levi is split in two, shattered into minuscule bolts and scraps of metal that rain down over the cliff edge. Azi screams after her, a tear rolling down her cheek. Her partner, a growing consciousness much like an innocent child discovering the sand of a beach and the glory of nature, is murdered.

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2024.05.21 17:12 tonyyaya7 Fat Leonard: How One Man Bribed, Bilked, and Seduced the U.S. Navy by Craig Whitlock Free Audiobook and Review

"Fat Leonard: How One Man Bribed, Bilked, and Seduced the U.S. Navy" by Craig Whitlock is a meticulously researched exposé that unveils the shocking true story of Leonard Glenn Francis, a charismatic Malaysian businessman who orchestrated one of the biggest corruption scandals in the history of the U.S. Navy.
The book exhaustively explains how Francis, known as "Fat Leonard," leveraged his connections and charisma to develop a web of corruption throughout the Navy, paying commanders with opulent gifts, prostitutes, and extravagant entertainment in exchange for confidential information and lucrative contracts. Whitlock follows the rise and fall of Francis, from his poor origins to his eventual downfall, putting light on the systemic failings and institutional inadequacies that allowed his plan to thrive for years.
One of the book's strengths is its detailed investigative reporting, drawing on a variety of interviews, court documents, and internal Navy archives to piece together the intricate aspects of the controversy. Whitlock gives a comprehensive analysis of the key individuals involved, from Francis himself to the high-ranking naval officers who were complicit in his plots.
"Fat Leonard" also serves as a stinging indictment of the culture of corruption and cronyism that permeated the top levels of the Navy during this period. Whitlock shows the toxic mix of money, ambition, and moral compromise that enabled Francis to manipulate and exploit those tasked with protecting the integrity of the U.S. military.
While the book delivers a fascinating and incisive account of the scandal, some readers may find the sheer scope and complexity of the subject overpowering at points. Additionally, the rich factual narrative may not be as accessible to casual readers who are less familiar with military and judicial language.
Overall, "Fat Leonard: How One Man Bribed, Bilked, and Seduced the U.S. Navy" is a gripping and eye-opening exposé that delivers a sobering look at the dark underbelly of military corruption. Whitlock's thorough investigative journalism and fascinating storytelling make this book a must-read for anybody interested in understanding the inner workings of power and corruption within the U.S. Navy.
Listen for free with a free trial of Audible at freeaudiobookstrial .com

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2024.05.21 17:07 Khoasy My EW Fan Movie Script (Unfinished)

Act 1 Scene 1
Int. Edd's Apartment Room - Bedroom - Morning
Edd (In sleep bed) SNORE, SNORE, SNORE- (EDD’S face is sprayed with Cola) I SUREDDER! (Looks around room) Oh.
(Cut to) Edd Int. Edd's Apartment room - Closet - Morning (Edd Choses which Hoodie to wear) [Hoodies references to different Hoodie designs] (Picks his Modern Hoodie design)
(Cut to) Int. Edd's Apartment Room - Bathroom Edd (Grabs toothbrush) (Zooms in to show that's it’s Cola flavored) (Brushes teeth) (Grabs cup of Cola) (Gurgles it) (Spits it out) (Makes a big wide smile showing his horrible teeth)
(Cut to) Edd Int. Edd's Apartment Room - Kitchen - Morning (Edd takes bacon in a Oven) (Puts it on a plate) (Edd sits at his table) (Holds up fork and spoon and licks his lips before shoving the entire plate into his mouth) NOM, NOM, NOM MM! The plate is always the best part! Act 1 Scene 2
(Transition to) Int. Edd's Apartment Room - Living Room - Morning Edd (Sits on couch) Ah.. it is a good day to watch Return of the Insane Zombeh Pirates from Hell 4! SLAM (The door goes as MATT and TOM come in)
Matt (Overlapping Tom) BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH I FOUND THIS GUY AND HE SOLD ME CRACK SO I GAVE IT TO A TWO YEAR OLD THEN IT STARTED TO-
Tom (Overlapping Matt) BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH I PULLED AND PULLED BUT IT WOULDN'T COME OUT, SO I GOT A PLANT AND STARTED SAYING NEVER GONNA GIVE-
Edd SHUT UP! (Matt and Tom look at each other) What is it…
Matt He broke mirror #1028!
Tom Nuh Uh!
Edd (Sigh) Tom, did you break the mirror?
Tom No!
Matt Liar, Liar, Dance on Pliers!
Tom (re: notice) Uh, Edd I found this by your door. (Hands to Edd)
Edd (Grabs) Blah, Blah, Blah. Your landlord will require possession of your apartment in 16 days, if rent is not paid! Oh no, I can't afford to paid rent!
Tom Don't worry- well actually do worry bc we all got it.
Matt Can't we mooch off of that crackhead down the street again?
Tom I’ve run out of crack to give to him, and I don't got enough to buy any either.
Edd Can't we get a job?
Tom Don’t you remember what happened last time we got a job!
Edd Oh yeah, we got fired for “immaturity, and irresponsible” or whatever bogus they said.
Matt We’re perfectly mature! They have to have a screw loose!
Tom One time I agree with you Matt. Right Edd… Edd?
Edd (Face plants onto couch) It’s hopeless…
Tom Come on Edd, things could be better!
Edd Do you mean worse?
Tom No, I meant better.
Matt Yeah, you could be friends with a stupid, narcissist and an unsupportive, alcoholic.
Edd (Annoyed, or disappointed face) Well… I guess- TOM WHAT ARE YOU DOING!
Tom (Standing on a chair with a hanging rope hanging from the ceiling fan) Who’s going second bc I'm going first.
Edd Tom, we promised to commit suicide when we get kids!
Tom Oh yeah.
Edd Tom, do you remember that safe in our old house?
Tom Yeah, the one that we left behind when it got destroyed?
Edd Yeah, that one. I was thinking we could go back and break into it. There’s bound to be some cash left in there.
Matt But what if the cops catch us?
Tom Relax, Matt. We’ll make sure no one sees us.
Edd We’ll go at night and make sure to cover our tracks.
Edd But we have no mask- (Tom, Matt are suddenly in Goofy Villain outfit) Edd Where did you even get those
Matt Dumpster!
Edd There's no way I'm wearing one of those! Act 1 Scene 3
(Cuts To) Ext. Old House - Backyard
The three friends stand in the backyard, wearing their goofy villain outfits, as Edd adjusts his costume with annoyance.
Edd (Cont'D) "This is ridiculous. I can't believe you two made me wear this."
Matt (Excitedly) "You look great! We're like the Three Stooges of crime!"
Tom (Grinning) "Yeah, but instead of just being fools, we're gonna be rich fools!”
Edd Matt did you cover our tracks?
Matt Yeah, look. (Shows an path of purple path leading right up to their location)
Tom Matt you know when I said I hated you?
Matt Yeah?
Tom I DIDN'T LIE!
Matt Aw...
Edd "Alright, let's just get this over with. We break into the safe, grab the cash, and get out. Simple enough."
Tom (Cocky) "Piece of cake, guys. We're professional criminals now."
Matt (Excitedly) "We're going to be rich!"
(The friends approach the safe and begin trying to open it.)
Edd Uh, does anyone remember the code?
Tom Not me!
Edd Matt?
(Camera pans to Matt admiring a picture of himself)
Matt I thought I lost you forever baby (Matt says as kissing it)
Edd
Tom(drunk) My idea is to blow up an orphanage!
Edd How do you get drunk off of Smirnoff in 4 seconds!?
Tom(drunk) Idk ask the unicorn in the sky!
Edd (Sigh) I'm going home.
As Edd turns to leave, Tom comes to his senses.
Tom "Guys, hang on. What if we try a brute force attack? Like, really give it a good ol' college try?"
Edd (Sarcastically) “Oh yes, because that's so much better than blowing up an orphanage.”
Tom (Ignoring the comment) “Just hear me out. We all know that safes have a maximum number of combination attempts before they lock us out. So, what if we just brute force it?”Edd But what brute force would... (Edd's eyes spark up with an idea, and a devious smile form's on his face)
Tom So... what's the idea?
Edd (Raises his eyebrows)
Tom I don't speak eyebrows?
Matt (Raises eyebrows)
Tom What!?
Edd (Overlapping Matt) THROW TOM!
Matt (Overlapping Edd) THROW TOM!
Tom Did I ever tell yall I HATE ALL OF YOU!As Matt and Edd start shoving Tom towards the safe, he starts resisting and shouting obscenities at them.
Tom (Yelling) "What the hell is wrong with you guys?! I'm not a goddamn battering ram!"
Matt (Laughing) "Oh come on, it'll be fine! What's the worst that could happen?"
Edd (Shoving Tom) "Just go with it, Tom. You'll thank us later."
Tom (Reluctantly) "Fine, but if I break anything, I'm suing you two.”(Edd and Matt lift Tom over their head and chuck him head first into the safe making a extremely loud smash)
Edd See Tom, that wasn't so bad!
Tom I think broke one of my hair bones
Matt Is it open?
Edd Nope. It's dented tho!Edd Still dented.
Matt Again-
(The gang hear police sirens)
Matt OH NO I'M TOO PRETTY TO GO TO JAIL!
(The police pull up and get out of the cop car with gun)
Cop 1 PUT YOUR HANDS UP!
(The entire gang puts their hands up with a ton of Matt's pictures falling out of his clothes)
(The police officers look confused as they witness the sight in front of them.*)
Officer 1 (Perplexed) “What the hell happened here?”
Matt (Innocently) “We were just trying to break into a safe. No big deal.” Act 1 Scene 4 Int. Cop Car - Midnight
Tom (Drowsy) “Why do my eyelids feel like heavy rocks…?”
Matt (Looking confused) “Hey, does anyone else smell pickles?”
Edd (Snickering) I knew I shouldn't have put on pickle deodorant!
Cop 1 (Driving) “Quiet, back there!”
Edd (Mumbling) Sorry Angry Mcgee!
Matt (Whisper) Pss, Edd!
Edd What?
Matt Get this! (Quickly throws a picture to Edd with his mouth)
Edd What is- Holy S**t I thought I lost this forever!
Camera pans down to show Edd, Matt, and Tom when they first moved in, including a old friend named Tord)*As the camera pans down to the picture, we see a glimpse of a time long ago. Three friends – Edd, Matt, and Tom – are laughing and smiling, with a fourth boy, Tord, standing beside them. They're holding balloons and standing in front of a house they recently moved into. Act 1 Scene 5
(Transition to) Jail - Cell - Midnight
Edd TOM! I'M DYING HELP ME!
Edd is dramatically lying on his back, holding an empty Cola can, pretending to have a heart attack. Meanwhile, Tom is sitting on a bunk bed and rolls his eyes.
Tom (Sarcastically) “Oh, yes, because your Cola addiction is definitely the biggest concern here. Not us being thrown in jail overnight.”
Edd OH WOE IS ME!
Edd writhes around on the bed in despair, while Tom just sits there, clearly agitated by Edd's melodrama.
Tom "Edd, you've been going on about your cola running out for hours now. Can you give it a rest, please?"
Edd (Frantically) "You don't understand, Tom! My cola was my life! How am I supposed to survive here without it?"
Tom (Tired) "Perhaps you should try sleeping or something?”Matt Uh, guys why is there a dude in helicopter trying to shoot us with a bazooka?
Edd (Sarcastically) Well thats just great.
(The group is flung back as the cell window is blasted open)
The man with the bazooka comes through the smoke.
Paul Hello, uh sorry I don't know your names. The Red Leader only refers people as code names.
Tom The Red who?
Matt My name is the beautiful Matt-
Edd covers Matt's mouth
Edd Don't tell him your name idiot!
Paul My name is Paul.
Camera Pans to Matt
Matt Why are your eyebrows 20 feet tall?
Camera Pans back to Paul
Paul They aren't even that big are you blind!?
Camera Pans back to Matt
Matt suddenly wearing blind glasses
Matt Yes
Patryk Hi my name is Patryk-
Paul PATRYK YOUR FLYING THE HELICOPTER!
Patryk Oh.
We hear a Helicopter explosion from outside. Paul and Patryk look down from the exposed cell wall, showing the burning half-destroyed Helicopter.
Patryk Don't worry I'll fix those scratches!
Paul Whatever.
Edd So, are you here to save us?
Paul Nah, we're gonna capture you!
Edd Aw, Bugger
Paul pulls out a "Super cool taser gun" as the label on the taser gun says.
Tom Lame.
(Tom is shocked and knocked out by the taser gun)
(The group watches in shock as Tom goes down from the taser-gun.)
Matt (Panicking) "Oh no, Tom! Edd, do something!!"
Edd (In shock) "What can I do? There's two nut jobs with a taser gun and an assault rifle who are trying to capture us!"
Paul (Casually) "Don't worry, if you don't resist, you'll be safe. The Red Leader just wants you guys for a special project.”
Edd Whatever.
Edd blacks out
(Cut to) Helicopter - Backseat - Morning
Edd wakes up
Edd (Distraught) Ow my head hurts!
Tom (Confused) What happened?
Edd (Deep Voice) Hey Babe.
Tom (Angry) Wtf Edd!
Matt is making muffled sounds because of a mask on his face that says "Beware ugly fish monster behind mask." Edd takes the mask off of Matt.
Edd (Disturbed) EW, the mask was right!
Matt (Angry) Hey!
Paul So you finally woke up!
Matt Uh, yeah
Edd This reminds me of when I flew a Helicopter when I was in the Uk Army!
Paul (Confused) You were in the army!?
Matt We all were can't you tell just by looking at us!
Camera pans to show all of the three boys looking exaggeratedly more stupid than usual.
Paul No.
The three friends look at each other in annoyance, feeling belittled by Paul's remark. Tom speaks up.
Tom (Sarcastically) "Oh wow, thanks for the compliment. Nice to know we look like a bunch of army rejects."
Matt (Defensively) "Excuse me, we are actually highly trained and intelligent individuals... in our own special way.”
Tom (Sarcastically) At least two of us are!
Tom and Edd high-five. Matt not realizing that they are inferring that he's the stupid one, keeps a smile on his face
Edd (Amused) Wait didn't your Helicopter crash like a few hours ago?
Patryk (Proudly) This is my 857th Helicopter!
Edd's Amused face goes to worried.
Edd (Unsettled) “Oh boy, this is going to be one bumpy ride…”
Edd At least we're away from the HELI-COP-TER
Everyone looks at Edd because of the horrible pun.
Tom So, where are we going?
Paul To the "SUPER EVIL EDGY VILLAINOUS BASE!"
The camera zooms out of the Helicopter to show that the place is actually called "SUPER EVIL EDGY VILLAINOUS BASE!"
Edd Well that's just silly.

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2024.05.21 17:05 Citron92 Kill la kill: I spit on your grave (Part 44: Rat Bael and friends on the other side)

https://preview.redd.it/2zqfpqde5s1d1.png?width=1000&format=png&auto=webp&s=29b1992562a1e153df13dac76160202827dd888d
New Orleans, USA, April 25th, 1926
So looks like the waitress in that cafe was lucky enough to get enough money from Charlotte LaBoeff to buy her restaurant. When we left the cafe, we followed her to the real estate office of the Fenner Bros. and we waited about an hour, sitting on a bench. Every second I spent on Isaac's shoulder as a frog was me sunbathing, contemplating life, and daydreaming about torturing and murdering Nonon. As Tiana ran out of the office, she beckoned us to follow us.
Tiana: Come along! I gotta show you guys!
We followed her down the street for a couple of blocks before we found the old dilapidated building she was planning to buy. Only seeing the outside of the building, the Fenner brothers came up to the realty sign and removed it.
Tiana: Everything looks peachy keen Mr. Fenner, and Mr. Fenner.
Fenner 1: We have the paperwork ready to sign first thing after Mardi Gras.
Tiana: I'll do you one better. I'll sign them tonight when I see you at the Labouff masquerade ball!
The two brothers ignored her, putting the wooden sign into their car and driving off with it. Suddenly, an older black woman appeared behind Tiana.
Tiana's mother: Table for one please!
She was holding a big sauce pot with a red ribbon on it.
Tiana: Mama!
Tiana's mother: Here's a little something to help you get started.
Tiana: Ah! Daddy's gumbo pot. Oh.
Tiana hugged her mother and she spoke again.
Tiana's mother: I know. I miss him too. Well now, hurry up and open the door.
Upon opening the door, Tiana shut the doors immediately and both her and her mother began to hyperventilate. Something was terribly wrong.
Isaac: T-Tiana is it? Is something wrong?
Suddenly, a hole was smashed through the door by a big furry arm as Tiana and her mother ran over to Isaac and his behind him, screaming!
Tiana: What the hell is that?
Isaac reached for his plasma saw and turned it on. It whirred loudly before both doors were slamme open and a dozen of those rat-humanoid monsters barged out!
Ryuko: Shit! Rat bastards! Come on Isaac, you can take them down! Tell Wiz and Boomstick who's boss!
Issac: Oh I will. I'm an exterminator too on top of being an engineer!
Nonon never seeing these monsters before put her hands on her ears and screamed "Oh my G-d" over and over again as Isaac ran into the fight with me and Buzz as frogs on his shoulder!
Isaac: Mourir monsteurs!
Isaac slashed through the horde, swinging quickly and broadly as he cut them down multiple at a time! He jumped high into the air and used his summoned swords magic to shoot two rat bastards, impaling them before clapping and blowing them along with any nearby rat bastards up!
Nonon: What are those things? Oh my G-d!
Gamagoori as a big bullfrog woke up and climbed out of Nonon's pocket.
Gamagoori: Rats! The monsters Wiz and Boomstick created to try and slow Ryuko down so she can't save Mako! Come on! We gotta fight them!
As Isaac cut them up, we saw two cheese pukers emerge from the open door, I called it out to him but saw a big mass of bricks on the roof.
Ryuko: Cheese pukers! Don't let them get close! I'm gonna take them down!
Isaac: Ryuko wait no!
I hopped off his shoulder with Buzz and we hopped onto the wall, climbed up before hopping over to the mass of bricks, me and buzz then began to push them off all at once slowly before they all fell onto the stationary cheese pukers, causing them to explode! Blood, guts, and rotten cheese slurry splattered all over the street, the sight and sent caused Tiana, Nonon and her mother to puke.
Gamagoori hopped out of Nonon's pocket and hopped over to the wall and climbed up with us.
Gamagoori: I'm gonna help! Isaac! More are coming!
More rat bastards charged at Isaac, but he began to cut them all down as they got close. The ones that tried to swipe and swing at him were easily dodge as Isaac was very fast. He dodged, dashed and even did backflips to avoid their attacks all while cutting them down with one swing of his powerful plasma blade! Emerging from the door once more was a big, muscular rat monster with crusty, disgusting fur with dead, diseased rat fetuses stuck to it. It ripped one out and threw it at Isaac, he dodged it quickly!
Isaac: Tiana duck!
Tiana, Nonon and her mother ducked as the diseased rat-humanoid corpse flew over their heads, mere inches from their scalps. Isaac then used his summoned swords magic again and threw two glowing blue swords into it before clapping and blowing it into bloody chunks! None of it's diseased biomass hit us or our human friends bellow.
Isaac: That's not all...
We heard a tapping sound, it became more rapid as Tiana, Nonon and her mother squeaked in fear and all three got rolled into a ball to protect themselves. Out of the doorway was the last rat bastard, but the most horrific looking one. It was as big as the doorway, it had six spider legs, it's body was a big mass of gray fur with two rat bastard heads and a human head wearing a crown in the middle. The human head was familiar however, with the burned scar over it's left eye and brown hair.
Ryuko: Santa told me... Those rat bastards are from a mix of rodent DNA and DNA from Z-Zuko! That's Zuko's head?
The Zuko head stared at Isaac for a moment before it's mouth opened up, revealing hideous, rotten needle-like teeth!
Zuko head: Rarrgggghhhhh!
It ran over to Isaac, trying to get one of it's disgusting heads to bite him, but he jumped around and avoided it! He whirred his plasma saw loudly before jumping behind it but before he could cut it's three heads off, the new rat bastard spun around and bit his plasma saw, holding it in place. One of it's spider legs swept Isaac's legs and he fell to the ground. It then slowly began using it's heads that bit onto the plasma saw while having it's mouths avoid the cutting blue blades press on further, as the plasma saw was pushed further to Isaac's neck, he sweated profusely!
Isaac: You! Mon-steur! Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Isaac struggled with it before Tiana ran up behind it with a random wooden plank she used as a club and hit it over the human head! It let go and pulled back and turned towards Tiana, hissing at her before Isaac began to slowly overpower the two rodent heads still pushing on! The two head's teeth accidentally slipped on the blade and Isaac soon cut through their heads, killing two of them. Tiana jammed the wooden plank down the human Zuko head's throat but it bit down and bit the plank in half! Isaac's plasma saw then cut the human head off after cutting through the two other rodent heads from behind! Isaac then kicked the newly killed monster off of him high into the air before Isaac dropped his plasma saw, grabbed it by the legs and swung around with it like a track and field throwing ball before releasing it and it flew high into the sky, so high as a matter of fact that we eventually lost visual contact with it as it travelled so high.
Isaac took some deep breaths before picking up his plasma saw, turning it off and holstering it on his side.
Tiana: Are they gone?
Nonon: What were those things?
Isaac: You didn't run into them? They're the race created by Wiz and Boomstick to kidnap Mako. They're monsteurs me and Ryuko fought. If you want to travel with us, you better not be dead weight. You did nothing to help. Ryuko, Buzz and Gamagoori can't fight at their best right now because of you. So you can do your part or get out.
Nonon: Yes sir. I'll-gulp try.
Tiana: T-thank you for saving me. You are very strong and handsome!
Isaac: Ma plaisir.
Tiana: Did you fight in the great war? You are French after all.
Isaac: Great war? World War o- oh... No I didn't. What year is it again?
Tiana: 1926!
Isaac: 1926! I'm only 26. I... I was 18 in-
Tiana: 1918. Did you fight?
Isaac: Errrr... That's not important. Anyway, I'm going inside your new restaurant. I'll check for any more of those rat bastards.
Tiana: Thank you. Can you tell me when it's clear?
Isaac: Oui.
Isaac proceeded into the ruins before me, Buzz and Gamagoori hopped down a hole from the ceiling, landing on his shoulder.
Isaac: I should of known we travelled back in time in this world. We're in 1926. I wouldn't be born until 1992.
Ryuko: Dang. We're 92 years in the past. Yet again we were in the 15th century months ago.
Gamagoori: What are you talking about?
Ryuko: Me and Isaac going through these worlds, some of them are in the past, one was in 1482! This is the second historical world we've been sent into to find the next dimensional stone.
Buzz: Interuniversal and time travel I see. Your civilization is more advanced then I thought.
Ryuko: Well, it's magic really.
Buzz: Magic! Interesting. I wonder if I can use any.
Ryuko: We'll find out.
Gamagoori: I hope you guys know what you're doing. Will the dimensional stones lead us to Mako?
Ryuko: Yep! Sure will. It will lead us to Mako, we'll save her from Death Battle and we'll kill Wiz, Boomstick and their raping ringmaster.
Gamagoori: I just hope we don't get stuck in the past. I hope you know what you're doing. Also I want to be human again.
Ryuko: We'll get there eventually.
Meanwhile, in the streets of New Orleans, Prince Naveen was joining a street band playing Jazz as everyone was surrounding him, the women were especially fawning over him. His fat servant ran over to him!
Lawrence: Prince!
Naveen: Dance with me, fat man!
The prince took his servant's hand and began to dance around with him for a minute before he announced a proposal to the crowd.
Naveen: Drinks are all on me!
Everyone was cheering, but the servant grabbed the prince and pulled him closer to question him.
Lawrence: How are we going to pay for all of that? You have no money! Either you go and slip out when nobody's looking, or get a job!
Lawrence pointed over to a man behind a horse shoveling it's poop into a bucket.
Naveen: Eugh, fine Lawrence. But first, we dance!
He pulled Lawrence even closer and began to dance with him. The prince let go of Lawrence and he stumbled into the band and his head ended up inside of a tuba!
Naveen: Ha ha! You're finally in the music! Get it? Because your head is inside of a tuba? Ha ha!
Lawrence: Get me out of here!
Naveen and a member of the band pulled at Lawrence before both the prince and his servant were flung out of a tuba and up against a wall!
Lawrence: Agh! How degrading! This is... Oh hello?
Looking up, a slender figure in a black suit and black top hat appeared, he had a top hat with a skull and crossbones on it. This man looked suspicious but he greeted both of them kindly.
Dr. Facilier: Gentlemen! Enchante?
He lowered his walking stick, allowing the prince to grab on so he can be lifted up.
Dr. Facilier: A tip of the hat from Dr. Facilier! How y'all doing?
He handed the prince a purple business card.
Naveen: Tarot readings? Charms? Potions? Dreams made real?
Naveen and Facilier began to walk around a corner into an alleyway.
Dr. Facilier: I'm in the business of visiting royalty. Lawrence followed him.
Naveen: Lawrence! Lawrence! This remarkable gentleman has just read my palm.
Lawrence: Over this morning's newspaper. Sire, sire, this chap is obviously a charlatan. I suggest we move on to a-
Dr. Facilier: Don't you disrespect me little man! Don't you derogate or deride! You're in my world now. Not your world. And I got friends on the other side!
An echo was heard, saying "Friends on the other side".
Dr. Facilier: That's an echo, gentlemen. Just a little something we have here in Louisiana, a little parlor trick. Don't worry.
Dr. Facilier led the two to a door under a sign saying "Dr. Facilier's voodoo emporium", and once leading them in, him and his shadow sat them down at a table as Dr. Facilier high-fived his shadow then took a seat and continued his singing.
Dr. Facilier: Sit down at my table, put your minds at ease, if you relax it will enable me to do anything I please. I can read your future, I can change it 'round some, too, I'll look deep into your heart and soul. You have a soul too, don't you Lawrence?
Lawrence: Yes?
Dr. Facilier: Make your wildest dreams come true! I got voodoo, I got hoodoo, I got things I ain't even tried! And I got friends on the other side.
Dr. Facilier pulled out a deck of tarot cards and shuffled them before the duo as he continued to sing at them.
Dr. Facilier: The cards, the cards, the cards will tell the past, the present, and the future as well! The cards, the cards, just take three, take a little trip into your future with me!
Naveen and Lawrence picked three cards before Dr. Facilier took them and told them to the duo. He started with the prince first and continued to sing about his tarot card readings.
Dr. Facilier: Now you, young man, are from across the sea. You come from two long lines of royalty. I'm a royal myself on my mother's side. Your lifestyle's high but your funds are low. You need to marry a lil' honey whose daddy got dough! Mom and dad cut you off, huh playboy?
Naveen: Eh, sad but true.
Dr. Facilier: Now y'all gotta get hitched, but hitching ties you down. You just wanna be free, hop from place to place But freedom takes green! It's the green, it's the green, it's the green you need. And when I looked into your future it's the green that I see!
He then turned to Lawrence and read his tarot card results to him in a musical fashion.
Dr. Facilier: On you little man, I don't wanna waste much time. You been pushed around all your life, you been pushed around by your mother and your sister and your brother, and if you was married, you'd be pushed around by your wife. But in your future, the you I see is exactly the man you always wanted to be!
Dr. Facilier crossed his arms and expected the duo to shake his hands.
Dr. Facilier: Shake my hand, come on boys. Won't you shake the poor sinner's hand?
Naveen shook reluctantly as Lawrence shook with a mischievous grin on his face. Once they did that, the curtains came down and an army of singing masks began to sing as Naveen and Lawrence were suddenly bound to their chairs!
Dr. Facilier: Yes! Are you ready?
Voodoo spirits: Are you ready?
Dr. Facilier: Are you ready? Transformation central!
Voodoo spirits: Transformation central!
Dr. Facilier: Reformation central
Voodoo spirits: Reformation central!
Dr. Facilier: Transmogofication central!
Dr. Facilier then pulled out a talisman and clipped Naveen's finger with it, getting blood into it and initiating a curse with it.
Can you feel it? You're changin', you're changin', you're changin', all right! I hope you're satisfied, but if you ain't, don't blame me! You can blame my friends on the other side!
The musical number ended as Dr. Facilier danced around with the voodoo spirits!
Voodoo spirits: You got what you wanted! But you lost what you had!
Dr. Facilier then dashed forward on his knees before blowing, and everything went dark.
Back at Tiana's new restaurant, Isaac emerged from the doors, me, Gamagoori and Buzz were in his pockets as he approached Tiana.
Isaac: Good news Tiana, it's all clear!
Tiana: Oh thank you! You're my hero Isaac! Now, I just need to make some changes around here, so I may turn this into my dream. It will have to wait. I have to eventually go to the masquerade ball tonight.
Isaac: Oui.

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