I, (23, F) live with my sister (20, F) and my parents (me and my sister take care of them both) and I am working a new job that pays bills, tuition, and enough to keep rent up and help us live a decent life, while my sister is a hardworking college student. Recently, at my job, I felt very faint after a meeting and asked my boss if I could go home early. They said yes and I asked my mom to pick me up, since my sister was in class atm. Riding home, I passed out, and passed out two more times afterwards. My parents were busy watching a show to notice the other two times. Once my sister got home, she didn’t even check to see if I was okay, she instantly went to do her homework and chat with a friend. I walked up to her to see what she was up to and she slammed the door on me. I was pissed off. Afterwards, she finally checked up on me, doing worksheets in my room, wondering why I was home so soon, and I explained to her that I felt faint and passed out a couple times. She just walked away, going back to calling her friend and I shrugged it off, going back to my worksheets. A couple minutes later, my sister came back in my room to give me chocolates and hugs and to tuck me under the covers. I felt very disgusted by her sudden behavior after treating me terribly before. I asked what it was for and she said it was for me passing out. I said “Why do you give me praise for passing out?” She made a terrible analogy to, if I weren’t sick, she wouldn’t give me medicine. I asked her to leave and she screamed at me, telling me that she was just trying to help and she claimed to be protecting me from brutal punishment from our mom..? I was confused and kinda angry at her pitying me all of a sudden. I ushered her to go back to talking to her friend and she offered for me to join her and I refused. I feel guilty for pushing her away when she was just trying to help and I have to know, am I the a**hole?

Going through Mediation in CT right now. Agreed equal split custody (2-2-5-5 plan)
The CT Child Support Worksheet doesn't take into account custody arrangements, so it simply talks about the "non-custodial parent" giving 100% of their child support money to the "custodial parent".
The way I see it, the worksheet figures out a number on how much is needed to support a Child. Lets call that an Envelope. Then is says that each parent should pay into the Envelope in proportion to their income. Then each parent should be able to pull from that envelope a percent equal to the time the have the child.
So say CT determines we need $600 a week to support the Children, and say My portion is $400, hers is $200. The baseline of the worksheet says I give her $400 a week. But if we use my "Envelope" analogy, I should only need to give her $100 a week.
The Mediator and even my attorney both agree that CT doesn't take into account custody but when I try and explain my logic say that it's not something usually done (but doesn't say what is a resonable adjustment). My attorney does say they have a calculator that takes into account actual % custody, but waiting on that from them still.
Anyone in CT that has something close to equal split custody have any input on how they manages to split Child Custody?

I deserve better.
The kids deserve better.
This is not any sort of environment where education does, or even can, happen.
I just got transferred from my position as a para at a small bilingual elementary school (I was doing pull-out services for mainstream inclusion kids) to being a para for an SDC at a larger elementary school not too far away from my old one. It is the most illegal situation in education EVER.
The district has had so much trouble hiring a teacher for this class that they've basically settled for second best. After the main teacher of the class quit in September, the class has had a parade of short and long term subs. The only stability they've had is one para who's stayed in their classroom all year. For story's sake, let's call him Mr. Felix (not his real name). This classroom is, on paper a mild/moderate SDC, but has a ton of kids with behavior issues. You've got in the class level 2 autistic kids who need routine and not too much stimulation to avoid sensory overload mixed with ADHD kids who have emotional disturbance issues who are running around and triggering the autistic kids on purpose because it's funny. Meanwhile you've just got Mr. Felix and then me. I've only been with the class for three weeks and I'm just starting to get to know them beyond their behavioral issues: how one of my fifth grade girls is actually very sensitive and isn't afraid to tell me when I'm doing something wrong, how my third-grade boy who likes to cause chaos in the classroom is actually very creative and loves art class (and listens to his art teacher!), how my fourth-grade girl loves to be my helper and pass out materials or worksheets whenever she can, etc. Along with us two paras, the only other thing they have in terms of a real teacher is a virtual teacher who lives almost 7 hours away who Zooms in with them for math, English, and science class. During an average school day, we have 315 instructional minutes, (excluding lunch and recess times) and the teacher is only on Zoom with them for 200 minutes of that 315. The rest of that time, it's just me (a para) and Mr. Felix (another para, neither of us is credentialed) in the classroom with the kids. And apparently I'm the only one who has a problem with it? (Well, me and the seven or eight other teachers from other schools I've talked to about the situation) I filed a formal complaint the other day about how illegal it is that we don't have a credentialed teacher in the room with us and how Mr. Felix or I could be held liable if something were to happen with the kids (the other day one of my kids punched his classmate because they were arguing about who got to use the special Chromebook with the touchscreen) And if that's not bad enough, Mr. Felix is out of the room more often than he's in it! He's always stepping out of the room without even telling me and I'll glance up halfway through an activity and realize he's not there. The other day I got so curious about how often he left and how long he was gone that I started writing down the times he was AWOL. He leaves every single hour, not counting the times he gets for his official duty-free rest and lunch breaks, and is gone for 5-10 minutes at a time. Multiple times last week he went on his 30-minute lunch, came back from his lunch, stayed in the classroom for about 2 minutes, then immediately left again and was gone for another 30 minutes! I did the calculations; with all the times he was out of the classroom, it added up to 60 instructional minutes that I, a non-certified para, was left alone in the classroom with 15 mild to moderate kids, some of whom have behavior issues and have documented instances of calling me a b*tch or filing false reports that I was using swear words in class. I don't think it's for legit reasons, either; when he does have to leave for legitimate things, he'll actually tell me "Hey, I need to go to the office and file this form," "I'm going to step out and use the restroom, back soon," etc. but most times he'll just leave and not say a single word. I also don't have his phone number or email (he will not give them to me) so if something does happen when he's gone, I have to call the teacher, who lives 7 hours away, then she calls Mr. Felix for me, then he comes back to the room. And Mr. Felix does not respect me as a fellow para. He's yelled at me for such things as:
-Changing the schedule on the whiteboard to reflect reality (for example, one day I noticed that it said "English" after lunch but I had already spoken to the teacher and she'd said that we would do English before lunch and after lunch would be science time so I switched the English and science magnets to reflect the plan and he screamed at me in front of the kids)
-"answering the phone" when he's in the room even though I don't answer the phone unless he's out of the room (which, again, is a lot of times)
-"telling James (our student in a wheelchair) to go a specific way out to recess and the lift he uses is broken so I have to take him to the other elevator now!" even though I not only hadn't known the lift was broken, I'd also not told James to go a specific way, just "James, it's time for recess!" when I saw him spacing out in the hallway. And then Mr. Felix proceeded to scream at me in front of James! (for context, the other elevator is like a 3 minute walk from our classroom, it really isn't that far)
On Thursday I filed a complaint with my supervisor (I work for an outside agency that supplies paras and SpEd staff to the district--so does this virtual teacher) and I'm hoping she comes back and says "Yes, you're right, this is highly illegal, we need to get you a proper teacher." Most of the time there's so many behavior issues that we can't have class, anyway, or I'll think we're doing a science lesson on Zoom after lunch but then Mr. Felix will walk in and say "We're watching a movie today, I already cleared it with Ms. Smith (our teacher)" and then it turns out Ms. Smith did approve a movie for the afternoon--they end up watching more movies in school than actually learning! I know what these kids are capable of; I was in special education throughout my school years (I'm autistic, too) and I have the same high expectations of these kids that my teachers and parents had of me when I was their age, but Ms. Smith just says "Don't compare them to general ed kids" I'm NOT comparing them to Gen Ed kids, I know that they are capable of so much more than just being entertained by a movie all day, but of the three adults in this situation, I sometimes feel like I'm the only one who wants to push them just a little bit so they can learn multiplication like they're supposed to, so that they can read an analog clock or know what makes a complete sentence and have these vital skills for middle school.
I am so tempted to invite the parents of these kids to come observe the class and see what really goes on so that they'll see how the school is essentially failing their kids and not providing them the education that they're entitled to. I'm essentially already on my way out (my supervisor has already offered to transfer me to a different job at an ECE center for autistic kids, so at least I'll be working with littles who won't call me a b*tch on a daily basis, plus I like kids around that age) but I feel so bad for these kids that I feel like I have to at least light a flame under the butts of the district so they see how messed up the situation really is before I walk out of my classroom for the final time.
Rant over. (We're in California by the way so we are legally required to have a certified teacher physically in the classroom with us during all instructional minutes of the day, in case anyone was curious. It doesn't matter how good of a control Mr. Felix has on classroom management or how well the kids do class when Ms. Smith is on Zoom with them. For legal reasons, we need a credentialed teacher who is physically present in the classroom with us.) Thanks for reading.

Sometimes I feel like I'm lying to myself. I can do the math. I can solve a math problem, even if it's something that I haven't learned before, I can apply other learned concepts to answer the question. So I've been in advanced math since 7th grade.
But then I have to argue, I count slowly, I have trouble counting coins, left is my right and my right is my left, I have to count by 5s to figure out an analog clock, I can't figure out the amount between two times at all, I have trouble reading graphs and tables, I lose my place while doing a math problem, I'm 14 and still counting on fingers, double-digit addition and subtraction without a calculator is taxing on my brain, DID I MENTION SUBTRACTION? Borrowing is so hard to do without it being written down I think that most people are witches. My report card throughout elementary school was A, A, B, F, A. (Guess which class was an F?) Even now I struggle with worksheets with a lot of numbers in them. And even an elementary teacher looked at me, baffled when she saw how much I was struggling with basic addition at 8 years old for heaven's sake!
My question to you is do you doubt your dyscalculia (whether formally diagnosed or not) and what do you do to alleviate it?
Interested in people's responses!

I'm a first year 3rd grade teacher, and I'm really trying to figure out a teaching style/ schedule that work for me and my students. I feel like right now I've got a very college-lecture style approach and my students disengage quickly. That escalates into behavior issues and I'm struggling to maintain control through the entire lesson. I've only been with this class for 2 weeks now due to a forced transfer, and we just finished the first quarter so I'd like to go into quarter 2 more prepared now that I've seen what is and is not working.
I've heard of people doing centers and those types of things. I went an alternative route for my cert, so I never really got observation time or student teaching. Because of this, I never got to experience how those types of thing worked.
For those of you that teach all subjects in elementary, what does your day look like?
Please go into as much detail as you are willing! I'm looking for things like WHAT you do in the centers. When do you do full group discussion, and what does it entail?
If it helps any, my current schedule is something along the lines of this. I'm not putting times because right now, that varies depending on when we get through each thing ( give or take specials when they come up): - morning work. we've got math and reading work books they use for this. These books have a range of simple problems that are things they should know already, like quick multiplication or telling the time on an analog clock. The reading passage are short with 3-5 easy questions. We always do math, but if we are strapped for time we will skip reading. - full group math instruction. This is the main math lesson. I usually do a chapter a day in our math unit. I'll give them a lesson, then we will do a few problems together. After that, they do the worksheets from our math book and then turn in an exit ticket. I walk around during this time to help anyone who needs it. This typically goes until lunch, so about 2 hours or so. If everyone finishes sickly, we will do the next thing early or do computers for a while because usually we don't have time to start something new before lunch. -ELA. I usually do a quick introduction and then we move on to a work sheet. Early in the week I'll give a full group lesson to introduce the main topic, then later in the week it'll be mini lessons that help them complete the sheet. - writing. We've actually been struggling to get here because everything else is taking too long to get through. They were missing it with their old teacher too, so we really need to get on track with this. I've been reading it similar to ela when we have reached out though. Mostly just mini lessons and then a worksheet.
I know there are many things I am doing wrong, so if love to see some right ways to do things! My kids are a really good group who are very interested in learning and succeeding, so I want to do right for them so they can accomplish that.
Also, we do computers whenever we have time for it. Usually it ends up being something for early finishers and then I'll give a little extra time for them to stay on after everyone is done. Usually our morning work takes way too long as well. We typically barely finish our mornings work before recess starts, so about an hour after school begins. Any advice on mating that take less time would be great as well. It usually takes about 15 mins for everyone to sit down and get to work, then about 20 mins for the slow kids to finish math, another 15 to go over the answers, then 5 minutes to get every kid focused on reading, I give them a few minutes to read on their own then read it out loud for the few kids I have that are below reading level, then another 10-15 to get through the answers to the questions.
Science and social studies we get to when we get to them, honestly. It's not a huge priority (which I've been told so by admin) so they want us focusing on just the testing subjects first, then squeeze the others in whenever we can. When I do science, I try to do small groups at a science station with me while the rest of the group does something else, like computers. I've tried having the full group do science activities at the same time and it just becomes chaos, so I try to break them off while doing individual work.

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I would be so down for some BioNinja merch tbh

We've got full day district-wide professional development tomorrow. I thought it'd be fun to play Bingo with some of my teacher friends. What would you put on a snarky PD bingo card?
Here's what I've got so far: - PD speaker who's never taught before - "But did you build a relationship??" - PD speaker passes out worksheet for you to fill out - Someone thanks their former elementary school teacher - Bad analogy where teachers are compared to some sort of animal or food.

Hello all! I need some help finding a planner with super specific criteria. Hell, it may not even exist. If it doesn't, any suggestions as to alternatives would be awesome.
Anyway, I'm working through a book for people with ADHD and it has a bunch of worksheets and whatnot. One of the suggestions is block scheduling (even though the author doesn't refer to it as that) and I wanted to try it the way she describes. The book has a worksheet for the block scheduling itself but I'm not a fan of it and am looking for an alternative. I'm also prepared to go all in on a planner because I know it's something I can do. I used to do it at work in hourly intervals but I couldn't quite get it to work in my home life. Anyway, my seemingly impossible criteria:

• month-week set up
• 15 minute increments
• 24 hours or at least a larger chunk of time than the 7am-8pm ones I keep finding

I have a bulletjournal that I tried to make this type of spread for but there is not enough room to do it.
Thanks in advance and once I find something that works I'll come back and share.
ETA: I have tried but find them too clunky and take too long to use. If there is a really simple app, I'm open to that as well. I prefer analog however.

I’m in a year long DBT group, for people who are LGBT & that’s advertised as trauma informed. I plan on finishing/graduating, since I’ve muscled through this far… but after this, I’ll not bother with DBT again.
Out of all my DBT experiences, this is by far the least aggravating… but I’m still often left feeling dysregulated and invalidated by many of the worksheets & ways the sheets are worded, unfortunately.
My individual therapist confirmed DBT =/= a trauma therapy. Even keeping this in mind, I still try to apply certain skills to my CPTSD, even though I know logically I’m not “supposed” to… only to be more dysregulated, unsurprisingly. But I can’t stop myself from applying these concepts to my trauma- I cannot separate my trauma from therapy.
I’ve spoken up sometimes in group when a wording or concept particularly rubs me the wrong way (IMPROVE the moment’s Meaning and Purpose part really rubs me the wrong way, the Prayer part doesn’t work for Atheists and I’m Atheist, and so forth). Thankfully group leaders are patient when this happens, and several group members have agreed when I’ve spoken up.
It’s ironic that we’re told that while this isn’t a trauma therapy, this is supposed to stabilize us until we can get trauma therapy… when I’m often frustrated and dysregulated by some of the wording and concepts. Dysregulated =/= stabilized.
Heck, I was told that the word “crisis” in DBT is meant to be applied to things like break ups and pets dying, instead of Big T or Little t traumatic events… but when I see the word “crisis” I immediately think of the traumas that led to my CPTSD. So the language with DBT doesn’t feel compatible with trauma. (There was a worksheet talking about crisis, that felt incredibly minimizing and insensitive. I spoke up explained crisis for me are things that led to CPTSD, and explained I felt really invalidated by the wording on that worksheet… only to be told the worksheet apparently wasn’t meant to be applied to the crisis I’ve experienced.)
Side note… I wish there was further clarification on when these concepts are meant to be applied and when they aren’t.
And… Marsha Linehan developed this for BPD, as someone with BPD, and there’s high correlations between BPD & childhood abuse. But the closest I’ve seen to this getting addressed in DBT is “invalidating social environments”, there is no acknowledgment that invalidating environments (which I consider a form of emotional neglect, which isn’t a term I’ve seen in DBT) can occur in abusive environments… so I ended up feeling ignored because for me, I wasn’t just emotionally neglected by people who were roses while I was a tulip (an actual analogy in DBT)… so even DBT’s addressing of invalidating environments, left me feeling ignored by DBT, because not all people who invalidate are well meaning and just a different flower.
I find it suspicious that DBT doesn’t address childhood abuse. Or trauma. People with BPD have often experienced childhood abuse and trauma, I fall under this category myself… so I feel ignored by DBT in this regard.
Anyway…
I’m grateful my group is tolerant of my occasional speaking out, and I’ll stick out the year because I’ve made it this far.
I’ll take what I can and try to either ignore the rest because I don’t want it living rent free in my head… or if it truly feels not okay to me, I’ll continue to speak out & share my concerns with certain concepts or wording.
But after this… not doing DBT again. As I suspected, while there’s some useful nuggets of gold, it’s in a large piece of poop, to use a crude metaphor. I’ll keep digging for the gold nuggets in this poop, but after this… nope! Not doing this again!
After this group, I’ve served my time in DBT-land. Sorted through small gold nuggets and tons of poop. But after this, I’m looking for nuggets somewhere else.
This DBT group, as patient as they are with my struggles… ultimately this is still DBT. Which, for me, has more feces than gold.
Maybe in part because DBT isn’t meant for those with childhood abuse, trauma, or any type of abuse history. This is not trauma informed, this is no trauma therapy. (Even though, again, many people with BPD have a combination of these things)… am I the only person who’s diagnosed with BPD and PTSD, who finds it ironic DBT and seemingly Marsha herself isn’t trauma informed?
Anyway… TL;DR I’m sticking out my group therapy and am in one of the better DBT programs but after graduation, never again. There’s more feces than gold in this therapy method, for me. After this program, I’ll look for gold somewhere else.

Yes, there are many resources available for developing critical thinking skills in grade 3 students. In this answer, I will provide a brief overview of what critical thinking is, why it is important, and some specific worksheets and activities that can be used to develop these skills in grade 3 students.
What is Critical Thinking?
Critical thinking is the process of analyzing, evaluating, and synthesizing information in order to make informed decisions. It involves using logic and reasoning to assess the reliability and validity of information, as well as considering different perspectives and potential outcomes. Critical thinking skills are essential in today's world, as they enable individuals to make sound judgments and solve complex problems.
Why is Critical Thinking Important for Grade 3 Students?
Developing critical thinking skills early on is important for several reasons. First, it helps students become better learners by improving their ability to analyze and understand new information. Second, it helps them become more independent thinkers, enabling them to make informed decisions and solve problems on their own. Finally, it prepares them for success in the future by developing skills that are highly valued in both academic and professional settings.
Specific Worksheets for Developing Critical Thinking Skills in Grade 3 Students
Brain Teasers: Brain teasers are puzzles or problems that require creative thinking and problem-solving skills. They are a fun and engaging way to develop critical thinking skills in grade 3 students. Examples of brain teasers include Sudoku puzzles, crossword puzzles, and riddles.
Logic Puzzles: Logic puzzles are another type of puzzle that require critical thinking skills. They involve using deductive reasoning to determine the correct answer. Examples of logic puzzles include grid puzzles and number puzzles.
Analogies: Analogies are a type of word problem that require critical thinking skills. They involve comparing two things and finding the relationship between them. Examples of analogies include "pen is to paper as brush is to ____" (answer: canvas) and "tree is to forest as brick is to ____" (answer: building).
Discussion Questions: Discussion questions are a great way to develop critical thinking skills in grade 3 students. They involve asking open-ended questions that require students to analyze and evaluate information. Examples of discussion questions include "What do you think would happen if we stopped using plastic bags?" and "Why do you think some animals are endangered?"
Problem-Solving Scenarios: Problem-solving scenarios are another way to develop critical thinking skills in grade 3 students. They involve presenting students with a problem and asking them to come up with a solution. Examples of problem-solving scenarios include "How can we reduce the amount of waste we produce at school?" and "What can we do to make our community safer?"
Graphic Organizers: Graphic organizers are visual tools that help students organize their thoughts and ideas. They can be used to develop critical thinking skills by requiring students to analyze and evaluate information. Examples of graphic organizers include Venn diagrams, mind maps, and concept maps.
Research Projects: Research projects are a great way to develop critical thinking skills in grade 3 students. They involve researching a topic and presenting findings in a clear and organized way. Research projects require students to analyze and evaluate information, as well as consider different perspectives and potential outcomes.
Conclusion
Developing critical thinking skills is essential for grade 3 students. There are many resources available to help teachers and parents develop these skills, including brain teasers, logic puzzles, analogies, discussion questions, problem-solving scenarios, graphic organizers, and research projects. By using these resources, grade 3 students can develop the critical thinking skills they need to succeed in school and in life.
Have no time to work on your critical thinking? Well, we do. We will write an critical thinking sample crafted to your needs. In-time submission and academic quality guaranteed. - EditaPaper.com

Behold! All the resources we have gathered in our (not unproductive) time of working together.
Feel free to comment any others you've come across and we'll add them.
Disclaimer: these are not a replacement for therapy. If you can access therapy, pursue it. If your therapist is unhelpful, find another one.
Additional disclaimer: perfectionism and tendency towards overwhelm run very strong in systems. Sometimes information can be overwhelming or triggering. Take your time, there is no rush. None of these sources are going anywhere. There is no race. There is no perfect way to do this. All in your own time.
Good luck on your various journeys towards healing!
The Plural Association

• A non-profit run by The Stronghold System and the only platform (to our knowledge) that holds annual conferences centering systems (called the Plural Positivity Conference)
• Also holds regular meetups (that you do unfortunately need to be a member to join but there's sliding scale memberships for y'all that are struggling financially
• AND is planning on launching a free warmline support where you can share your worries or thoughts with a peer support plural volunteer!

The Crisses

• We recommend starting with the United Front Boot Camp: great for baby systems who have no concept of anyone or anything. They also have a neat separate section for systems who've been doing this a while but have suddenly been having difficulty e.g. particularly passionate persecutors who are extra good at their job
• They have a wide array of self-paced courses ranging from $0 to $10, all very in depth and very accessible. There's ones on reparenting inner system kids, building better spoons (presentation in the video section below), developing a safety plan, building system trust...
• Here is a nifty flowchart they put together outlining all their courses and which ones might be most helpful for you

Beauty After Bruises

• Another impressive collation of resources can be found here
• BUT even more impressively: this source aims to provide aid for those who have experienced DID/OSDD/CPTSD by helping out with therapy costs! Go apply here

An Infinite Mind

• A non-profit organization created by someone with DID
• Has a "Speaker Series" that often have a lived experience of plurality, very affordable & accessible
• Also has a bunch of resources: books, websites, etc.

DIS-SOS

• This one is a treasure trove and is secretly maybe our favourite
• Collated and produced by a system named Theresa, there's basics for coping with CPTSD responses, background theory on dissociation and trauma, the essentials of building an inner world, breakdowns of different therapies so you don't have to figure out what "ego state" means, reviews of different books... we get overwhelmed every time we open it but one day we will get through it all (maybe).
• We want to highlight this delightful article which could be helpful for any perfectionists we mentioned earlier
• Also Befriending Dissociated Parts is lovely for the hosts that are feeling dazed and confused
• And Integrating Abuser-Imitating Parts because we are all about love and compassion for everyone (note: working with hostile headmates is not entry-level stuff, this is a nice way of conceptualising working with persecutors or abuser-introjects but remember the golden rule: slow and steady, always).

The Redwoods Circle

• They include links to a number of FAQs from other systems, which is a nice way of demonstrating the diversity that systems hold and that there are no wrong answers or no wrong ways to experience your identity
• They were also recently an author on a groundbreaking psych study on trans and plural identities! If you can't access it for free DM us and we'll send you a copy.

Book Recommendations

• Here's a link to a drive with a lot of books. (NOTE: this is not our link!! We found it on an archived thread that didn't cite the original creator. If that is you and you would like credit or for us to remove it, please reach out to us).
• Dissocation Made Simple by Jamie Marich: the author has lived experience of DID/OSDD and we've heard it be highly recommended for therapists and clients alike (so maybe good to recommend to your therapist if you feel they are struggling to keep up)
• Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors by Janina Fisher: this author has quite a few helpful books and we've heard her be credited for some very innovative work in sensorimotor psychotherapy (for getting back into your body after trauma in a very gentle, slow way) and for linking IFS in ways that are applicable to systems. Check out her website here
• Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation Skills Training by Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele, and Onno van der Hart: here's a link to worksheets, just click Get at the top.
• Healing Sex by Staci Haines: this was recommended by our therapist who also has DID and said it was helpful for them but we haven't tried it. It's aimed at women so be prepared for language directed at that group. It sounds like it can be challenging so probably best to work through alongside a support person.
• Treating Adult Survivors of Emotional Abuse and Neglect by Elizabeth Hopper: review from Spirited_Research471: "Technically for therapists, but super informative and validated why I had such trouble with therapists and that it was real and happening. How therapists need to be very aware of themselves, their own trauma, and managing that to prevent enactments and retraumitizations when working with any complex trauma survivors, but especially so with more fragmentation and dissociation such as with osdd-1 and did."
• Worksheets from Neloran: someone with DID who has assorted other resources
• More worksheets from Janina Fisher's The Living Legacy of Trauma
• Finding Solid Ground Program Workbook: Overcoming Obstacles in Trauma Recovery
• ND-Friendly Workbook of DBT Skills by Sonny Jane Wise (not deliberately made for systems but great for stabilisation/building coping strategies for distress, easy to follow and potentially accessible for younger system members who want activities)
• The Dissociative Initiative has more books listed here with (you guessed it!) still more resources
• Your Sensory Self-Care Toolkit by Sarah Alleyn (a fun, 40pg brightly coloured workbook building awareness of sensory preferences, great for littles, originally designed for ND people) DM us if you want a copy
• You and Your Gender Identity: again, not system-related but good if you're interested in exploring gender (yours individually or the system's as a whole) - DM us if you want a copy

Videos

• Archives of the Plural Positivity Conferences: in particular drawing attention to this video from "Retired Persecutors" - great for persecutors struggling.
• The CTAD Clinic
• The Alexandrite System
• The Rings System: OSDD system if that's something you're looking for
• Better Spoons: a presentation by The Crisses (mentioned above) on developing energy from a place of passion as opposed to panic
• Building an Inner World by the Stronghold System

For Littles

• Your Sensory Self-Care Toolkit by Sarah Alleyn (a fun, 40pg brightly coloured workbook building awareness of sensory preferences, great to figure out grounding techniques and positive triggers for all system members but especially the kids). DM us if you want a copy of this one.
• Dear Little Ones by Jade Miller: a book read aloud for littles, the only one we know of! Adorable
• The Patchwork Quilt: a delightful story designed to explain DID through a blanket/quilt analogy. The analogy might not be for everyone but we still like it
• You Weren't With Me: a book aimed at helping children work through abandonment, has been helpful for us and our littles in processing grief around why others in the system are absent at times

Peer Support Recommendations

• u/Spirited_Research471 created a Peer Support group that is currently on pause but you can find out more about it here and here is the site it is hosted on
• Jade Miller: Does one-on-one peer support, you can get a free 15min session to see if she'd be a good fit
• Crystals Multifaceted: Counselor with DID, runs a whole bunch of groups and is possibly also open to individual sessions

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Hello!
Just for a little background, I volunteer at a local facility that helps those who are struggling with completing their education (generally those with an underprivileged background and, unfortunately, many with undiagnosed learning disabilities). There can be anything from kindergarten aged students to maybe someone struggling to comprehend their driver's manual, but for the most part we work with adults who are striving towards their GED. I tend to be paired with adults who have a bit of extra difficulty with English.
My current student is a man who has been with us for a few years and has absolutely crushed it. Pretty much, we're at the end of our journey together and I couldn't be prouder, but we are stuck on his comprehension of sentences vs. fragments for his formal essay. He's able to complete worksheets without help on what makes a sentence a sentence, along with answer my various questions. He's also a beautiful fiction writer, however he seems to forget how non-fiction structure works when it comes to doing it in practice, without the guide of a worksheet.
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Some examples of tips and tricks we've already tried:

• Repetition- I ask him the three main components of a sentence, randomly during our sessions.
• Read it aloud- Does it make sense if said out loud, alone, by itself?
• Read each part individually- Cover additional sentences/fragments with a piece of paper and focus on one at a time. Identify if each component is there and, if not, re-write it into a sentence.
• Terminology worksheets- Having him match terms to their definitions in the beginning, now with him writing the definitions in his own words.

There's likely loads more where we're trying new things all the time, but the information just doesn't seem to be staying with him when it comes time to put all of it into practice.
One thing we tried, as well, was likening a sentence to a play. In a play, you have your spotlight that focuses on the subject. Your subject then acts (carries out actions- the verb) to add context. These actions are used to tell your complete story. This helped him with the basics and has gotten him to a fairly good point, but unless he does this thought process with every single line in his essays, he finds himself writing in fragments.
If there are maybe any analogies that some of you have used in the past, or examples of steps that have been taken to overcome this, we'd both super appreciate it!

I'm sorry everyone, but Newsies is cancelled tonight. Anyone who purchased tickets will be refunded. The Fearless Five Musical, Eagle's Flight: An Origin Story needs the theater tonight to rehearse for their show and then Centipede just showed up to do signings so all bets are off. Now they've completely refigured the sets and have their pyrotechnics in there. On the bright side, I get the evening off and time to rest before the last show on Saturday! So I've just been trying out some neurographic art and tap dancing in my kitchen while waiting for these cranberry orange scones to bake. I never know how long to put them on for so I figure it's best to do a few minutes extra in case of salmonella. I don't want to give any of you food poisoning. Also please if you're a CAPES group member, let me know what your allergies and dietary restrictions are. I want to try making a layer cake for an analogy to help with the worksheet on Maslow's hierarchy of needs and I want everyone to be included.

Thanks to everyone for the helpful inputs you all post here.. they are so so helpful.
Here’s my story -
What I used for preparation -
I have been preparing from August but started preparing dedicatedly for 1 month.

1. AR’s Udemy course - Loved this!
   1. Re-reviewed the ‘’Exam tips & Conclusion’’ (section 28) - Outputs by Process Groups, Project Document descriptions before exam day
   2. PM Mindset - this is the most important for your exam
2. TIA mock simulator + Nilotpal Ray’s Test simulator
3. Free simulators by Simplilearn, Prepcast, Oliver Lehmann
4. Some parts of -
   1. PMP review guide by Kim Heldman, Vanina Mangano & Brett Feddersen (as that was the only PMP book my library had)
   2. Referred to PMBOK 6th edition - may be a couple of chapters but stuck to AR’s course for the large part
   3. PMBOK 7th edition - reviewed the additional topics covered in this one vs 6th - used Nilotpal Ray’s checklist for this && Models, methods & artifacts section
5. Ricardo Vargas process flow explanation - reviewed this once & once before the exam day
6. David McLaghlan 200 Agile questions - super helpful in cultivating the agile mindset
7. This Reddit forum & all the helpful tips from people who just took their tests - the day before exam which had lot of helpful exam tips

Exam experience -
Reached the test center 45 mins before test slot. After my ID was verified I was escorted into my test station. First set of questions were comparatively the toughest - I always kept an eye on the timer & wanted to wrap this section in 80 minutes but took close to 85-90 mins. This set had 2 drag & drop questions - one on self-preservation, Parkinson’s law, Student’s syndrome (and what they mean) and another was a scenario drag-drop which went something like you as a PM can only approve two trainings and you have to pick 2 out of 3. This set also had the lengthiest questions.
Second and third sets were comparatively easier than the 1st. I wrapped up second set in 80ish mins and finished the third with 1 min to spare. I took both the breaks - it really helps to clear your mind a bit. But keep an eye on the break time (I did not have an analog watch - would recommend if you can to keep track of break times, as the timer starts running after the stipulated break time.
90% of the questions were situation questions. No calculations. I used my worksheet only to mark time plan. Timer runs in minutes (230 min to 0 - so if you plan time management for the sectionals keep that in mind) Noise cancellation headphones were quite heavy but were really helpful as people kept walking in and out of the test center.
Lot of questions from virtual working, agile, some from what should these documents contain, conflict management, resource management - 2 options look logically applicable for almost all questions. What really helped was following the ‘PMI mindset’ which I focused on the day before the exam.
My recommendations -
Don’t lose heart if you are not scoring well in your mocks/simulators. I passed only in one of AR’s simulator which everyone kept highlighting was easy. I did not find them easy, may be it’s got to do with the language, lot of questions were repeating etc. that I wouldn’t call it a true benchmark for how the test was.
I did take Nilotpal Ray’s simulator which was arguably tougher than AR’s and scored better marks in that. I also liked the quality of questions better as I felt AR’s simulator was sloppily made, in many places. I also made a mistake of taking an AR mock two days before the exam which I failed in that made me anxious. Don’t get bogged down by the mock results at all - take it as a learning experience and move on.
I never expected to score AT/AT/AT to be honest and it was a pleasant surprise - I prepared the best as I could and whatever I prepared I tried to understand the concepts and questioned myself ‘what would an ideal PM do’ which really helped in the exam. Bottom line, take all the feedback people share with a pinch of salt - it may apply to them, and may not for you - trust your preparation and give your best on the exam day.

Note -- I also posted this over in Blazor   Hi all, some background here -- I haven't programmed seriously for 15+ years, and even back in 2005 I was only doing light lifting on my team. I've got an ok grasp on things like types and identifiers and initializing values and constants and scope etc, functional vs oop, etc. I have enough under my belt to start learning programming again and getting myself in trouble, lol.   I'm transitioning here at work and starting to pick up the crumbs our team doesn't have the time for. These are mostly very simple web apps that are perfect for me to get up to speed. For now, it's much easier for everyone involved to have these client-side.   So I've been learning javascript and it's a slow go, but I'm making progress.   Mid to long term though, I'll be picking up the smaller projects for our main platforms, which is mostly C#.   I'm wondering if I should just give C#/Blazor a crack so when I help the main team I have a better grasp of things. Here's a typical web app we would need that I'm currently writing in javascript:   We have an order for, say, 10,000 fruit. These fruit need to be split up into separate batches as 10k fruit can't fit into one batch. Each fruit would also be numbered. And the size of the fruit would also dictate how many you can fit into each batch (ie, you could fit more lemons into a basket vs apples).   So something like the following (ex A):  

Batch 1	Batch 2	Batch 3
1	101	201
100	200	300

  etc... pretty simple.   But many times, the user needs to start the number range where a previous order left off. And maybe the next batch can fit more or less than the previous order. So something like this:  

Batch 7	Batch 8	Batch 9
1001	2001	3001
2000	3000	4000

  etc... again, pretty simple.   There are a few gotchas... we always have to ship a full batch. So if an order would only fill 9.5 baskets, we would round up to 10 with a math function (like Math.ceil() or something similar).   Where it gets a little more involved is each of these batches gets broken down further (to use the fruit analogy, let's say bags). So in each batch we could have a user-defined number of bags. Something like (ex B.):  

Bag 1	Bag 2	Bag 3	Bag 4
1001	1501	2001	2501
1500	2000	2500	3000

  Again, not too complicated. But where it gets more involved is that on screen, after the user inputs the order data, they need to see the overall batch data in one section (ex. A), and the bag data in another section (ex. B). They then need to export both the batch data and the bag data into excel worksheets.   Why I'm considering C#/Blazor -- excel is needed because the user needs to scan the number of "bad fruit" in each bag; the customer may be expecting a bag of 100, when they may only be getting 98. It would be nice to eventually eliminate excel and just have the user create their ordebatch info and scan everything within the same web app.   Javascript has been ok with incrementing stuff so far, but getting things to 1) render ok on screen and 2) export into excel has been a hassle. Is C#/Blazor overkill for something like this? Occasionally something like this may be output/paginated onto Avery labels.   Thanks for any input :)

Hi all, some background here -- I haven't programmed seriously for 15+ years, and even back in 2005 I was only doing light lifting on my team. I've got an ok grasp on things like types and identifiers and initializing values and constants and scope etc, functional vs oop, etc. I have enough under my belt to start learning programming again and getting myself in trouble, lol.   I'm transitioning here at work and starting to pick up the crumbs our team doesn't have the time for. These are mostly very simple web apps that are perfect for me to get up to speed. For now, it's much easier for everyone involved to have these client-side.   So I've been learning javascript and it's a slow go, but I'm making progress.   Mid to long term though, I'll be picking up the smaller projects for our main platforms, which is mostly C#.   I'm wondering if I should just give C#/Blazor a crack so when I help the main team I have a better grasp of things. Here's a typical web app we would need that I'm currently writing in javascript:   We have an order for, say, 10,000 fruit. These fruit need to be split up into separate batches as 10k fruit can't fit into one batch. Each fruit would also be numbered. And the size of the fruit would also dictate how many you can fit into each batch (ie, you could fit more lemons into a basket vs apples).   So something like the following (ex A):  

Batch 1	Batch 2	Batch 3
1	101	201
100	200	300

  etc... pretty simple.   But many times, the user needs to start the number range where a previous order left off. And maybe the next batch can fit more or less than the previous order. So something like this:  

Batch 7	Batch 8	Batch 9
1001	2001	3001
2000	3000	4000

  etc... again, pretty simple.   There are a few gotchas... we always have to ship a full batch. So if an order would only fill 9.5 baskets, we would round up to 10 with a math function (like Math.ceil() or something similar).   Where it gets a little more involved is each of these batches gets broken down further (to use the fruit analogy, let's say bags). So in each batch we could have a user-defined number of bags. Something like (ex B.):  

Bag 1	Bag 2	Bag 3	Bag 4
1001	1501	2001	2501
1500	2000	2500	3000

  Again, not too complicated. But where it gets more involved is that on screen, after the user inputs the order data, they need to see the overall batch data in one section (ex. A), and the bag data in another section (ex. B). They then need to export both the batch data and the bag data into excel worksheets.   Why I'm considering C#/Blazor -- excel is needed because the user needs to scan the number of "bad fruit" in each bag; the customer may be expecting a bag of 100, when they may only be getting 98. It would be nice to eventually eliminate excel and just have the user create their ordebatch info and scan everything within the same web app.   Javascript has been ok with incrementing stuff so far, but getting things to 1) render ok on screen and 2) export into excel has been a hassle. Is C#/Blazor overkill for something like this? Occasionally something like this may be output/paginated onto Avery labels.   Thanks for any input :)

(The following review is a transcription from audio. Thanks for reading! And special thanks for talking with me about this book I enjoyed so much! This review was transcribed from an episode of Atoz: A Speculative Fiction Book Club Podcast. If you're interested, you can check it (and other episodes) out here: Apple Spotify Amazon Website )
(Also, if you clicked on this it probably means you've read the book before -- so unless you'd like a refresher, go ahead and scroll right past the recap to get to the real discussion of the themes and motifs that captured my imagination.)

Recap

Okay, so, the first thing we should say is that this is a high-fantasy book – it takes place entirely in a secondary world that is not our own. This world is called Prydain, which is to say Britain – Prydain is the Welsh for Britain – or, really, Britain is the Latinization of the Celtic Prydain. And that’s going to matter because the fantasy world of Prydain is based on medieval Welsh mythology – and we’ll have more on that in the next segment.
Being medieval in nature, we’re dealing with kings and castles, but because it’s mythological, we’ve also got magic and monsters. Because it’s Wales, it’s mountains and forests, valleys and rivers. And Alexander pays a great deal of attention to the natural landscape and the flora and fauna – this is something that really stands out in this book and makes the world come alive.
But it isn’t really Wales, it is a fantasy world, and it has its own lore and history. Like Wales, Prydain is a small place – it might really only be about the same size as The Shire. In days long ago, it was ruled by a wicked sorceress named Achren, but the Sons of Don came from over the sea and established a new kingdom centered around their castle Caer Dathyl. The High King rules as suzerain over a number of subject kings, some of whom we’ll meet along the way, and has a powerful lieutenant known as a war-leader – and we’re going to meet him, too.
The Sons of Don and the High Kings are great, but there is an antagonist who rules the far west and has designs over the rest of Prydain. This is Arawn who rules Annuvin. He is an Evil Overlord similar to Sauron – he wants to conquer and enslave and rule (XXX text XXX), but at the start of the book he lacks the power to do it – and keeping it this way is what the High King is for.
But of course that’s going to be the inciting incident that gets this book and this whole series going. Arawn’s power has grown and he has recruited a new war-leader of his own, a mysterious figure known as The Horned King because he wears a skull helmet with huge antlers sticking out of it – and this is an image that terrified me as a kid. And he never speaks – he’s just this scary silent killer who rides through the forests with his army – an army of zombies, by the way – and it’s great.
Okay, so that’s the set-up. Let’s meet our protagonist and get the plot going. This is a bildungs-roman – we’re going to follow the adventures of a young person – in this case a young man – as he grows up and has adventures and finds a place in the world. That young man is Taran, an Assistant Pig-Keeper. By the way, I want to apologize for my pronunciation of his name – Americans tend to pronounce T-A-R as Tare, even though that’s horribly wrong – but it feels extremely unnatural to me to pronounces this the correct way – I have to actively stop and make myself do it, so I’m probably going to mess it up a few times as I get into a flow. And if you’ve seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you’ve seen this go the opposite way when Giles simply cannot say Tara – it has to be Tara, even though that’s not her name.
Alright, so Taran is an Assistant Pig-Keeper at Caer Dallben, which is the castle – manor might be a better word for it – the manor of the wizard and scholar Dallben. This is where The Book of Three exists, and it’s a magical book that shocks people who shouldn’t be using it – though it’s not really going to come into the plot at all, despite supplying the title of the book. What is going to come into the plot is the pig whom Taran keeps – assisstantly, at least. This is Hen Wen, and she’s a very special pig because she is able to tell the future – she’s an oracular pig.
And this matters right now because of the growing power of Arawn and the Horned King, which makes the future uncertain. Moreover – as we’ll eventually learn – Hen Wen knows something that will allow the good guys to defeat the Horned King, and so the story gets going – and really just within a few pages – when the Horned King shows up at Caer Dallben and Hen Wen runs away.
It’s Taran’s job, of course, to watch over her, and so he gives chase, and this takes him far into the forest where he encounters the Horned King, who is also looking for the pig. Taran escapes, but he is wounded in this encounter, and he passes out in the forest. But he awakes to discover that his wound has been treated by Gwydion, who is the war-leader of the High King – he’s one of the Sons of Don. Gwydion is also looking for Hen Wen because he needs to know how to deal with the growing evil, and together they set off on the trail. But they aren’t alone – they’re aided by a wilderness creature named Gurgi. Gurgi has some animal qualities, but is sentient and can speak – he’s really something of a reverse-Gollum, we might say. Gurgi is a great character and he speaks almost exclusively in rhymed pairs of active participles – he says “crunchings and munchings” to mean “food,” for example.
They don’t find the pig, but they do learn that the Horned King has a massive army of undead warriors – they’re called Cauldron-Born because that’s how they’re made – and that he intends to attack the castle of the High King and take control of Prydain. Some of these Cauldron-Born capture Taran and Gwydion – Gurgi gets away – and bring them to the Spiral Castle of the evil sorceress Achren, who used to rule Prydain. They’re separated, and now we follow Taran into the dungeon, where his life is going to change as we meet another member of our ensemble cast.
This is Eilonwy, a young woman about Taran’s age who happens to be distantly related to Achren and is her pupil. But even though she is the student of an evil sorceress, she doesn’t really like that evil sorceress very much and so she wants to help Taran escape because it will annoy Achren. And this doesn’t really pose a problem for Eilonwy who loves to explore and is insatiably curious and so has mastered the labyrinth of tunnels beneath Spiral Castle. In fact, when we meet her, she’s supposed to be locked up someplace as a punishment, but she has no trouble slipping in and out of the locked room. And so she helps Taran get out of the dungeon and also agrees to help get Gwydion out, too – though that’s going to be a separate adventure.
Along the way they find the barrow of the king who ruled Prydain long long ago, long before the Sons of Don and even before Achren were here, and they get his sword. The sword can’t be drawn from its scabbard except by the rightful king – it’s basically Excalibur – and while this doesn’t fully come back in The Book of Three, you can bet that it will before the series is over. When they take the sword, Spiral Castle collapses around them and they have to hurry to get out. Outside, where they are supposed to meet Gwydion, Taran discovers that the person Eilonwy rescued isn’t Gwydion at all and that Gwydion has therefore died in the collapse of the castle.
He’s upset and takes it out on Eilonwy, who gives it right back – she’s a phenomenal character and we’ll talk more about her in the next segment. But the person who has been rescued is named Fflewddur Fflam, and he’s a terrible bard who used to be a terrible king – and he’s ready to help with the mission, which, now that Gwydion is dead, is no longer to find Hen Wen, but is to get to the High King and warn him about the evil that has returned.
Along the way they have a series of adventures and they visit some more of this fantastical world and are also reunited with Gurgi, who is heroically injured in a battle with some of the Cauldron-Born. They end up in the peaceful valley of Medwyn, who is essentially Beorn – and we’ll talk about that a bit in the next segment, too. He heals Gurgi and sends them back on their way, and next up is an accidental entrance into the land of Fairy. And this is something that, while actually my least-favorite part of the book, is interesting for diverging from some of the customs of modern fantasy by showing us Celtic Little People who are more like fantasy Dwarves than fantasy Elves.
This encounter turns out to be serendipitous because Hen Wen the Oracular Pig is here, and so our heroes are able to take her with them. But soon they are set upon by Cauldron Born and lose the pig again, and in the end they come face-to-face with the Horned One again. And this time, he’s going to kill Taran and Eilonwy and Gurgi and Fflewddur Fflam. There’s a great moment here where Taran goes to draw the magic sword they got in the barrow, and we expect that he’s going to be able to because he’s an orphan and maybe it’s going to turn out that he’s the rightful High King after all. But that’s not at all what happens – in fact, trying to draw the sword wounds him – and this is a great defiance of our expectations.
And Taran’s last image before he passes out is of the Horned King’s face melting and his army falling apart, but he doesn’t understand what has happened. When he wakes up, it is days later and he is safe. It turns out that Gwydion didn’t die in the collapse of Spiral Castle at all … because he wasn’t there. Instead, he’d been taken to another place to be tortured, and since he survived his torment he has come to understand the hearts of all creatures, which includes Hen Wen, who, it turns out, had run to him and told him how to defeat the Horned King. All Gwydion needed was the Horned King’s true name, and this gave him power over him.
And that’s the end of the plot, though we do get a coda with Taran back home in Caer Dallben, back at his old job of Assistant Pig-Keeper. And Eilonwy is there and, even though it turns out that she’s a princess, she’s going to stay with them for a while, which makes Taran very happy. And that’s it, that’s the end of the book.

Themes and Motifs

But that’s really just the beginning for us, because there is a lot going on here – a lot to talk about in our themes and motifs segment.
At its core, this is a book about heroism, and that’s where I want to start. Alexander is, of course, riffing on heroic literature – he’s adapting the deeds of mythical Welsh kings and warriors into a children’s fantasy novel – and we’ll look at some specific examples of that later on. But Alexander is doing much more than simply retelling those deeds and by extension implicitly adopting the virtues of those long-ago anonymous poets. Instead, Alexander has crafted a delightful story that deconstructs the very nature of heroism, that forces us to ask what it means to be a hero, and whether we’d really like to do any of the things that heroes do in medieval poetry. The central thesis of the book is – if I can quote Yoda here – “wars not make one great.”
Let’s take a look at what he does. At the start of the book, Taran yearns to be something more than he is. He’s restless, he’s tired of being a farm-hand, he’s tired of doing the same thing day after day. He says “It will be vegetables and horseshoes all my life!” And I think we’ve all felt that way at some point during our adolescence – I mean, there’s a reason I wound up in the Army. But Dallben, who is older and wiser and, you know, a wizard – Dallben knows that being a hero isn’t all flashing swords and galloping about on horses. It’s not glorious.
Of course, Taran knows about heroes only through songs and poems – through fantasy novels, really. And Alexander is conscious of the fact that he is writing such a book even as he is deconstructing the very notion of heroism … and so he places a writer in his story in the form of the bard Fflewddur Fflam. He’s not a good bard – in fact, he’s quite terrible and technically isn’t actually a bard – he never passed his exams. But he does have a magic harp that does two things. One, it plays on its own – or maybe it’s better to say that it possesses Fflewddur Fflam and has him expertly play whatever song the audience needs to hear. And the same song can sound different to each member of the audience, as well. This, of course, is a nice commentary on what literature is for, the role that stories play in our lives. And it’s important that in this scene, the song that Taran hears is not about glorious heroes flashing swords, but about home, about being back at Caer Dallben taking care of a pig. And we realize – even as Taran himself does – that all the fighting is not for glory, but to put things right, to allow for a return to normalcy – that’s the goal.
The other magical property of the harp is that it will snap a string – or even several strings – whenever Fflewddur Fflam lies. And he lies a lot, mostly about his own heroism and martial virtues. This makes him a comical character, but it also underscores the idea that all those songs and poems and fantasy novels about awesome heroes being awesome in war are something of a lie. That’s not what it’s really like, and even the truest stories get it wrong.
We should note, too, that Fflewddur Fflam is not unaware of his role in this story. The snapping harp strings are funny, but he knows about battles and kings because he used to be a king. He wasn’t very good at it and he didn’t like it, so he quit and became a bard because if more of us valued song and stories above power and war, it would indeed be a merrier world. In the end, he has a sharp view of all this, and he tells Taran that it isn’t any good being sung about if you aren’t around to hear it.
I don’t want to spend too much time on it, but I think it is worth reminding ourselves that Lloyd Alexander was a soldier, that he served during the Second World War – in fact he met his wife in that capacity, but that in the end he went home again. Except for his time as a soldier, Alexander spent his entire life in Drexel Hill, a western suburb of Philadelphia – and not actually that far from where I live now, though for me this is the end point of decades of globe-trotting and is still a thousand miles from home, a thousand miles from the place I would think of if I heard Fflewddur Fflam’s song.
So Alexander has a sharp view of heroism shaped by his own experiences amid the global tragedies of the twentieth century. But it’s no good to tear something down without building something up in return, and so much of the book is really about teaching Taran – and, of course, young readers – teaching all of us, really, what it really means to be virtuous, what it really means to be a force for good in the world if it isn’t being skilled with a sword.
We’ve seen some of this already when Taran dreams of going home again. Home itself is something to be valued, but so is having a place in a family and a community. But more than that, Alexander advocates for kindness and mercy and charity. All through the book, other characters are working on Taran, or perhaps working as foils against his impulses toward martial virtues – towards poetic heroism. Dallben, as we’ve seen already, is perhaps the bluntest in simply telling Taran that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. But it’s really Eilonwy, Gwydion, and Medwyn who show Taran what Dallben is even talking about.
We didn’t really talk about Medwyn in the recap, and that’s because he’s most important here. Medwyn is the Beorn character in this story – he lives alone in a secret valley and cares for animals. He’s a vegetarian even as he himself is an impressive physical specimen who surely must require a lot of protein. Medwyn teaches Taran that “every living thing deserves our respect,” and this includes the evil birds that serve Arawn. The servants of Arawn weren’t born that way – they weren’t born evil, but were made that way through torture and other horrible treatment. And thus they deserve our pity – and of course the real lesson here is that the way to combat evil is to not make it in the first place, to make a world that is full of kindness rather than one that is full of torments.
Taran puts Medwyn’s lessons into practice immediately when they encounter one of Arawn’s evil birds – these are called Gwythaints, by the way – they encounter a wounded Gwythaint and Taran wants to heal and care for the bird even though his companions all advocate killing it. In the end, treating this bird with kindness and mercy breaks it of it’s evil conditioning, and the bird becomes a help to them.
Eilonwy is also constantly saying similar things to Taran, if a bit more brusquely. Taran is always saying and doing the wrong thing around her, and she lets him know about it. Here are just a few examples of how she alters his understanding of what it means to be a force for good in the world. She says “For an Assistant Pig-Keeper, I think you’re quite remarkable. I even think you’re the nicest person I’ve ever met in my life.” And later she tells him that being kind is more important than being clever. She does, also, though model for him that using one’s mind is a pretty good idea. Perhaps their central conflict – all of which has a Han Solo and Princess Leia vibe to it – is that Taran just wants to do stuff without thinking much about it, while Eilonwy wants to observe and question and plan. Here’s probably my favorite exchange between them. This comes when they are trapped in the Barrow, just before the discover the sword. They’re lost and trapped and Taran is impatient about it while Eilonwy is being in the moment and is wondering about the Barrow itself. Taran shouts at her: “I wish you’d stop wondering about things that can’t make any difference to us.” Of course, in the end, it’s Eilonwy’s curiosity that wins out – and you know that finding that sword is going to be the biggest event in the whole series.
Let’s talk about Gwydion, now. He combines a lot of the virtues of Medwyn and Eilonwy. He talks to Taran about pity – he teaches him to treat Gurgi well even though Gurgi is uncouth and different. And he tells Taran that the Cauldron-Born are victims to be pitied, that Arawn has taken their lives and their memories from them – he’s taken their souls. He also models patience and curiosity for Taran. But his chief role is in telling Taran that the thing he really has to do is decide. He has to choose for himself what it means to be a hero, he has to choose for himself what type of person he wants to be. And this is explicit in their very first meeting, and is something he says again several times. We’ll come back to this in a few moments.
In the end, Taran isn’t really sure that he’s accomplished anything, even though he was present for all the heroic deeds on this adventure. They’ve defeated the Horned King and rescued Hen Wen – everything is back as it should be. Still, Taran feels like he didn’t do anything. Here’s what he says to Dallben: “It was Gywdion who destroyed the Horned King, and Hen Wen helped him do it. Bur Gurgi, not I, found her. Doli and Fflewddur fought gloriously while I was wounded by a sword I had no right to draw. And Eilonwy was the one who took the sword from the barrow in the first place. As for me, what I mostly did was make mistakes.” And Dallben agrees, but of course he sees something that Taran can’t – that he was the heart of the group, that he was what kept them together through his sense of purpose and self-sacrifice, that, ultimately, being a hero is about serving others, and that’s what Taran has done. And this, of course, is what fantasy literature is for – it’s to teach us about being a force for good in the world. About what that means and how we can do it – even when it’s hard.
I know I’m running long, but before we move into our Strengths and Weaknesses segment, I want to spend a little time talking about Alexander’s source material. I mean, I hope you didn’t think I was going to let an opportunity to talk about medieval literature go by.
We possess a lot of medieval Welsh literature, but the main text that Alexander has drawn on to shape his fantasy version of Wales is the collection of stories known as the Mabinogion. This is a massive text. It’s a collection of eleven stories that runs to just about 300 pages in most editions. And these stories are by a number of different authors writing at different times over a period of about a hundred years, mostly during the thirteenth century – though the complete manuscripts that we have are from the fourteenth.
The Mabinogion proper tells stories about the mythological hero Pryderi. He’s not necessarily the protagonist of these stories, but he’s in all of them. And then attached to this are other stories from medieval Wales, including a number of King Arthur stories that are quite interesting to compare to the French and Anglo-Norman traditions.
You can get a copy of a translation quite easily – Oxford World Classics has a great one, and I definitely recommend it. When Alexander was writing, there were two translations available, but we know that he was working from the translation done by Lady Charlotte Guest because she included in that volume much more than just the Mabinogion – and a lot of that appears in the Chronicles of Prydain.
So what I really want to do here is look at how Alexander modifies his source material. There is a passage in one of the tales that Guest included in her Mabinogion volume that contains the entire kernel of The Book of Three. This comes from the Myvyrian Archeology, which is another collection of medieval Welsh literature – but it’s a collection that was only done around 1800 – it’s not itself a medieval collection like the Mabinogion is. Indeed, this collection is an important part of the Welsh nationalist movement, which I mention here only briefly because we’ve talked about nationalism a number of times on Atoz.
Alright, so, here’s the passage. “There are the Englyns that were sung at the Battle of the Trees, or, as others call it, the Battle of Achren, which was an account of a white stag and a whelp. And they came from Annuvin, and Amathon the Son of Don brought them. And therefore Amathon the Son of Don and Arawn, King of Annuvin, fought. And there was a man in that battle who could not be defeated unless his name were known; and there was on the other side a woman called Achren who likewise could not be defeated. And Gwydion the Son of Don guessed the name of the man.”
And that’s our plot in a nutshell. But you can see how Alexander has decided to invent his own protagonist and tell the story from an entirely different perspective. Too, he’s dialed up the villainy – which we get hardly any of in this medieval passage. Right, everything is matter of fact in the medieval text, but Alexander has made the bad guys proper bad guys and raised the stakes.
There is one more bit of this that I want to talk about, but before we do that I should say that if you’re fascinated by Welsh mythology, you should be – it’s awesome. And we’ve done some other work on the network with Welsh literature that you may want to check out. One of the giants of weird-fiction was Welsh – that’s Arthur Machen, and we’ve done a number of his stories on Elder Sign, and I’d encourage you to check out those episodes if you haven’t already.
But back to Prydain. I do also want to talk about Medwyn, who is a crucial figure in the plot and for the themes, but also for Alexander’s playful relationship with the history of literature. I’ve said already that he is basically Beorn, and I’ve made some comments about other places where Alexander’s story echoes or mirrors something from Tolkien. I think these moves are explicit – I think we are meant to understand that Alexander is thinking about how Tolkien has used English, Scandinavian, and also Celtic literature of the Middle Ages to construct a fantasy world, and that Alexander is riffing on Tolkien riffing on these works. Medwyn is the most obvious example and perhaps the central figure in it, and maybe on the forum we might have some fun doing some comparisons of language and images between the two scenes.
But Medwyn is also a storyteller, and this means that Alexander uses him in other ways to connect his story with the long tradition of fantastic literature. Specifically, he tells two stories that aren’t Welsh in origin, but come from the ancient Mediterranean. One is the story of Noah and the Ark, and there’s a strong hint here that Medwyn is in fact Noah – that his love of animals stretches far, far back, and that he is more than just some guy who cares for creatures. And I should say that Noah does appear in medieval Welsh literature as someone who sailed to Britain after the flood. But the other story that Alexander has Medwyn tell doesn’t have any Welsh analog, at least that I know of – though I’d love to have one pointed out to me, if you know one – and that’s a story about a hero who has to accomplish a series of impossible tasks in order to marry the person he loves. He does it, of course, but only with the help of some ants. Now, this is a common folktale and fairytale motif – you can think even of Cinderella here – but this specific story comes from the Cupid and Psyche episode of the Metamorphoses by the Roman writer Apuleius – and I know this story well because I spent an undergraduate Latin class reading this text.
And I love this move – I love literature that is cognizant of its place in the long history of storytelling, that self-consciously places itself in that continuum. Alexander has done this masterfully, and I just love it.

Strengths and Weaknesses

And I do really love this book, as I hope is clear, so I think this is a good note on which to move into talking about Strengths and Weaknesses.
Foremost, I think we have to keep in mind that this is a book aimed at kids, it’s aimed at third-graders and fourth-graders, and we should judge it by how well it works for them. And I think the verdict is: awesomely. First, this story offers a number of great models for children. The emphasis on kindness rather than martial prowess and winning is supremely important – it’s a lesson I wish more of our children received. But there are also great lessons here about responsibility. The whole plot of the book hinges on Taran taking his responsibility as Assistant Pig-Keeper so seriously that he comes up against agents from Hell. But there is also a great line near the end of the book when Taran owns up to his own mistakes. He says “I admit we are here through my fault. I should not have followed this path, but what’s done is done. I led us here, and I’ll find a way out.” And what I love about this is that Taran’s behavior models for kids how to fight an impulse that we all have – to deny our mistakes, to shift the blame onto others rather than own it and find a solution. This not just a model of morality, it’s a model of competence – and that’s hugely important to me, and really for all of us who want to live in a functioning society.
There is also here a model of gender equality. This matters perhaps more in the 1960s when this was written – or at least was provocative in ways that it simply isn’t now – but it really stands out that this is in some ways a book for boys about how girls can do stuff, too. I mean, that’s explicit in the text and it’s going to continue to be so as the series goes on. But it’s more than just that girls can do stuff, too. Eilonwy teaches Taran a number of valuable lessons and is also indispensable to the story, all of which surprises Taran who just assumed that this was a world for boys and men, not girls and women.
Indeed, Eilonwy is an awesome character – one of the best we’ve had on Atoz so far – and she is surely one of the strengths of the book. She’s clever and funny, but also direct and confident in ways that Taran simply isn’t. Taran spends a lot of time with his mouth metaphorically open while Eilonwy can always figure things out in the seconds between the lines.
But getting back to this book working for children, Alexander does a number of wonderful things with language. And this is something that has been on my mind a lot recently in my capacity as a university instructor. More and more my incoming freshmen and even some of my older students just suffer form a lack of basic reading comprehension that stems from growing up in households with a default mode of video games or TV rather than books. I’ve been finding myself having to take steps to encourage students to develop some basic literacy skills, and one of those has been to have them fill out worksheets about books we read for class. This includes identifying some vocabulary words that are new to them, and just a few weeks ago I had a student identify the word “encumbrance.”
Now, my jaw dropped. Because this obviously means that this student never played D&D, which, it turns out, is where a lot of my vocabulary developed. But also from fantasy stories in general, and this is something Alexander excels at. These are books that are aimed at third-graders, but there are a lot of words here that I think some of my students would find unfamiliar.
But it’s not just vocabulary. Alexander introduces the idea that language itself is fun and interesting. For one, the names are Welsh, which means they have spellings that strike Americans as absurd – and it’s a struggle to pronounce some of them, and that’s great training. But there is also the scene with the sword in the Barrow in which we learn about translating for sense rather than for literal meaning, which is an advanced concept. And then there is Gurgi, who plays with grammar as a matter of course. He uses these rhymed pairs of active participles as nouns. “Crunchings and munchings” means “food” in his language, and this gets kids to think about the flexibility of language, of different ways of expressing the same idea. It also gets them thinking about sounds and rhymes and so on – and it’s all packaged in a character who is fun and funny – it’s magnificent work.
Alexander also just has some great prose descriptions that also emphasize paying attention to the world around us – especially the natural world. He is always specific about the types of trees, for example – there are no generic trees in this world, and that’s awesome. But let me give some examples of some of his great prose and then we can close the covers on this book.
Here’s Eilonwy’s description of the images that Fflewddur’s song conjured for her. And I want you to pay attention to the sounds here. “The waves break against the cliffs and churn into foam, and farther out, as far as you can see, there are the white crests, the White Horses of Llyr they call them; but they’re really only waves waiting their turn to roll in.”
I hope you heard the alliteration. We start with Cs and then move to Fs and then to Ws and it’s awesome. But think too about what Eilonwy is saying about language – about metaphor. She explains to readers how metaphors work: we call it the White Horses of Llyr, but really they are waves. Finally, look at the verbs here: break, churn, and roll. These are excellent, and all of them describe different actions these waves take. This one sentence does so much with language at a crucial moment of language acquisition and reading comprehension. You can’t go wrong with this.
Alright, I think I’ll end there. I had another passage I really like, but we can save that for the forums, perhaps.
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Future Discussion

So, that’s going to bring my review to a close. I do hope you’ll talk with me about all the things I didn’t get to – and there’s a lot of it. And maybe we can even just have a broader conversation about children’s literature – what it’s for, how it works, and what we should have our kids read.
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Thanks for reading! And special thanks for talking with me about this book I enjoyed so much! This review was transcribed from an episode of Atoz: A Speculative Fiction Book Club Podcast. If you're interested, you can check it (and other episodes) out here: Apple Spotify Amazon Website

i am tired. it is hard to articulate the true weight of that phrase.
in the places that life has corroded me, fatigue has cemented itself into the gaps left behind.
at first it was tender. a bruise. an ache so dull and gentle, alike to the lingering soreness of massaged muscles. the kind that reminds you that you are capable of feeling this, and little more. the changing colours were intriguing, even. others noticed, and asked for the story. they listened with their thumb pressing into the wound. unless someone brought a mirror to it, it was easy to forget it was there.
these bruises healed, and fresh injuries replaced them. this, of course, was clumsiness and poorly placed obstacles on the ground, or particularly sharp corners on tables and counters.
it was funny once. it was light and it seemed common-place.
what was funny once, then twice, and then again, slowly lost the crowd’s attention. a tangled wire crossing my path was no longer a question of laziness on the behalf of the person leaving it there. no, now it was my own carelessness for looking away from my footing, or not having caught my fall. at the same pace that the sun rises and falls, my own balance would betray me again. it hurt, oh it hurt. bruises became skin. it was not healing any longer, they saturated and never faded, for they replaced the soft, rosy flesh that i once felt at home with.
this was long ago. the memory has not distanced itself, only gathered more days lost among the other grieving parts of me that it holds.
now, i can no longer separate myself from the hurt. my bones are placeholders for an unshakable weariness. it makes no difference on the surface, though it has tried. rock bottom is a solid rock bottom, and it will hold my body up no matter the wear and tear that lays underneath. the structure still exists, my life checks the boxes of having four walls and a ceiling. i am employed, educated, pursing post-secondary education full-time, exercising, sleeping, eating. these four walls are no longer home, though.
i have tried it all to rebuild, and tried it again, tried it differently. i have walked amongst neighbourhoods filled with homes having these very same walls. i brought housewarming gifts. i offered my shoulder to cry on, my food to eat, my presence to accompany you, my advice, my time, my knowledge, everything i could have ever offered of myself. yet, brief relief from this isolation only existed within the doorways of people’s love and attention. when the wind was blowing too much cold air into the house, or the hand got tired of propping it open, the door closed again. a friend made and a friend lost.
i knocked at other doors, too. i’ve spent hundreds of hours in therapy, cognitive behavioural, dialectal behavioural, accelerated resolution, acceptance and commitment, any flavour of modality you could think of. many different medications. days, then weeks in hospital. months in outpatient day treatment, and more months of follow-up services. i have reached out to old friends and braved myself to strike conversation with those i did not know. i tried to sit back, watch, and learn the art of making friends. i read books about the careful skill of communication. completed worksheets. sought feedback, and acted to solve the issues raised. i have found new hobbies to venture into, more places to volunteer, more art classes, fitness groups, support groups. i have reached out in person, in writing, over video, text, stories, captions, replies, comments. i tried it all in english, and then again in french. twice the opportunity and twice the loss. no matter how far i reach, the gap does not close. it widens and swallows all that sits at its edges. i have been swallowed whole by loneliness.
i am tired of waiting. i think loneliness is tired of me, too. i have tried to escape its hold on me. i have climbed out of dark places and moved forward aimlessly for miles in the fog. the other side of the hill isolating me from the world may be a land of beauty, but i feel i will die on top of it, my shoes too worn from the effort of getting there. the trail is overgrown, and it is raining. it's still raining. it’s cold, and sweaters that were once soft and warm are now heavy with water.
i suppose this is me hanging that wet sweater out to dry, along with all my other dirty laundry. this is, mostly, metaphorical bullshit because i can’t express my emotions or experiences in plain words. this brain just doesn’t do vulnerability that way. so, don’t bend over backwards trying to make sense of my disorganized analogies. it’s okay for it to be confusing. i don’t need the world to understand, i just want the world to know. to know of me, of my presence and my skills and my love to give. until i can share those stories again, no longer in the form of faded memories, i will put my hurt out into the universe and hope that it will hold it. anyways, here i go again with metaphorical bullshit, sorry about that. thank you for listening, and have a good day my friend.