Motocross room bed sets

Hey all I’m Matt, 30 on the east side of Cincinnati. I’m 6’3 180lbs. I’ve been interested in BDSM since I was younger but yet to have a partner interested. I have a good job, and my own place. Looking for a potential partner that’s also into BDSM and wanting to explore more! Planning on setting up my spare room into a little dungeon/playroom soon!
I enjoy old horror movies and sci-fi. Currently have been binge watching the x-files. I like to get outside and hike, camp, fish when i have the time to.
Favorite kinks are bondage, orgasm control/denial, and general power dynamics. Open to almost all kinks, we can chat about all that more!
Would prefer to find something long term but I’m also open to short!

18 months of hell.
In November 2022 I got accused of a very serious crime and investivated by police. My girlfriend at the time lost her job. I had to move home because rent was getting ridiculous for the area and quality.
Christmas 2022, grandfather dies of a Stoke. At rhe same time, grandmother on other side of family nearly dies of the same thing.
Ny father can't speak at his dad's funeral, I step up, trying to support the family and keep things ordered. I do it. But I see my dad cry fir the first time in my life...
I took out a £15k loan. Which helped with credit card debt (due to my gf at the time not really working or paying for anything), then after I moved, new housemate was a fucking slob who used my good nature to treat the place like a shit tip. Leaving chocolate out for my dog to eat and everything.
Police issue is resolved, no evidence after I get a solicitor and an interview. Still to this day, I flinch when I hear sirens...
Birthday... gf St the time, while sleeping upstairs and I sleep on the sofa cause be and my friend are chatting unti lwe fall asleep ad a heavy day drinking... ex comes down.. stands over me. And hits me so hard I scream. House wakes up. Mate sees this happen. And then housemate comes down, and asks why she got in his bed... she is currently pinning me down, crying and screaming.. I tell everyone to go to bed and deal with it the next day.
Tell gf at the time that she has fucked up... She doesn't know why she did it... says she was sleep walking.. touch starved...
Had to physically remove housemate after 1) his room smelled so bad, that I had to get landlords involved and a professional carpet clean on his room and 2) he pissed on my fucking landing carpet.
Months of me paying nearly as much rent as I earn in wage, due to gf at the time barely paying me... get a housemate in who wants the place to be good to live in.. Ex decides to threaten suicide when it's just me and her, after multiple times she has grabbed and tried to hold me down knowing I am in pain from her hitting me... She locks herself in the bathroom (razors and isopropyl alcohol inside, and apparently as I find out later, our dog). I call 111, she is screaming, I'm taking on the phone to try to get control... I struggle...
Eventually she opens the door, screaming at me... 111 operator can't do anything more... I thank him and hang up.. ex gf screaming at me immediately.. im the worst person, im stupid... can't believe i believed her she might commit suicide. How stupid am I.. all of it.. I broke.. broke up with her. Hated life, hated myself. Still do.
This was November 2023.. she finally left in May 2024. Every day since I havent been able to say a word in my house. I have been belittled, broken, criticised, for the tiniest things... while I can't say a word against anyone... she left dishes to go mouldy, I cant ask her to clean after herself.... and that's the minor things..
I am alone... when she left, she took the dog.. she was ours. She slept with me every night... ans now she is gone.. to a girl who never took her for a walk unless she was the ONLY one to.. and even then.. First walk at 2:30... maybe 5pm...
I dont know anymore. I'm sick of everything.. ex even got to move out of London and keep her job.. Best I could argue was the possibility of a transfer... but I'd lose my London weighting... and fuck over my housemate...
I don't even know what I need.. I've had counselling, the Counsellor didn't turn up to half the sessions... And can't get free ones... I canr get help for domestic violence victims as its not an ongoing issue and I'm a male in my 30s. So im not priority (I get it, but im allowed to say it hurts not getting support).
I just want to be allowed to live a normal life.. I dont want this... I just want to scream.
Thank you if you read this. I'm sorry if its not the usual content.

I know the waldorf is nicer, but we’re a group of three. We can do two double beds at the waldorf for about $100 more a night, but at Vdara we could get a corner suite with a king bed (door on the bedroom) and a pull out in the living room. We’re pretty chill about being in the same room so I’m having a hard time choosing since I’ve never stayed at either. Any input welcome!

Well here we are. That has been the only thought circulating in my head for the last few months.
I’m homeless. Now don’t worry, I am relatively well off for a homeless guy. I have a job, I have a vehicle that I sleep in, I eat every 4-5 days, sometimes more frequently when I have extra money but I’ve been sending the vast majority of it to my wife who is separated from me right now with my 9 month old daughter.
We fell on really hard times a few months before she gave birth, lived out of the same vehicle I’m in now for a week before I was offered refuge and employment by a family member hours from any other support system I have. I took the leap, how much more could I lose? He wanted me to help him build a “Texas Tiny Home” on his property and said he would let me stay in a small room in his home with my wife while we built it, not only that but would let me rent out of it after and land me a job with the state.
8 months later, the house wasn’t built, my child was born and my wife and I lived in a small room. Because I was expected to be at the property to help build I wasn’t able to secure any real employment and the trips to the job site normally consisted of building for 10 minutes and then waiting for direction or the materials to continue going while everyone else got drunk, not to mention the dynamic became extremely toxic in said relatives home.
My wife and I decided to leap, unfortunately this leap was too much too soon. Ended up losing an apartment I only had for a few months, getting evicted and now my wife and kid live with her family while I save money and try again. I completed trade school and am searching for career leads there but it is extremely difficult to even keep the job I have now when I live like an animal.
I do my best to stay clean, keep moving forward for my kid and wife, but I’m just feeling really beaten down. I honestly can’t remember a time when life wasn’t so overwhelming, my childhood was fairly crappy as well.
I just want someone to tell me that there is an end to this race, one that involves me being with my family with semi regular food and sleeping in a bed again. My heart feels like it is in a constant state of brokenness.

I see many posts asking if a Lab will ever calm down , l even made one for myself. I’m here to let you know that since my chocolate boy turned one in January every month has bought more calm.
There was a time I had never seen him sleep, he used to have to have enforced naps and would only do so with a blanket over his crate. When he was out of his crate he was a mischief of barking and chewing and had to be watched every single moment.
Now he will settle and sleep in the same room, has stopped chewing apart from on his Toys and has even graduated to sleeping in our room on our bed. He will bark for attention sometimes but usually only if I’ve missed a cue that his water bowl is empty or he wants to go out. I can even let him roam freely without fear that he might get into mischief. (I do have e gates up so he can only be on the floor that I’m on, or my partner) and I can leave the back door open so he can come and go from the garden as he pleases.
He has learned he can’t be a lap dog so he puts his front legs either side of me on the chair and lays his head on me, and even learned to give kisses.
There was a time I thought I’d made a terrible mistake choosing a Lab, but now looking back, it’s all been worth it. There is no better thing g than to wake up with him staring game in the face standing by the bed and getting kisses when my eyes open. Hang in there!

Hi everyone,
My 2yrs toddler slept over my place 3 days for the first time last week. Here's how things went
1 day: After washing up he crawled himself up to bed and went to sleep right away. At 2:30am he woke up and starting looking for mom this took about 10 min and fell back asleep until morning.
2 day: He noticed that sleeping in that room = no mom. So he didn't want to sleep in the first room. So I took him to the second room and he was ok with it. No waking up or looking for mom.
3 day: Again, he noticed that sleeping in either room = no mom. So he wanted to be in the living room. I read him a book and he fell asleep in my arms. So I put him to bed and slept with him. He did not look for mom or woke up until morning.
I thought everything went great but here's what my ex emailed me.
After his first night with you at your place on Thursday, I told Noah that he will be sleeping another night with you on Friday and I noticed that he got very quiet and his demeanor changed from his usual playful mood.
That may have been your account of what happened on Sunday, but in actuality after I picked him up and got home, and as soon as I opened the car door, he saw that he was home and he cried and would not let go of me saying ,"mom mom". He would not let go of me for a long time and wanted to be next to me for the rest of the day.
He was so tired after those couple days of staying with you that he slept 14 hours two nights in a row (even after taking solid naps during the day), waking up throughout the night looking for me, crying “mom mom“ even though I was sleeping next to him.
On Sunday when we went to church, his behavior was different than usual and other church members there noticed as well. He would play, then freeze and then look and down do a side glance at me. When I would comfort him, he would pull my hands on his him and then place his hands on top to make sure that I don’t leave.
Have anyone go through something like this? What are some coparenting schedule that worked out for you? If something like this happened to you, how long did it last until child was ok?
Thank you in advance
Update: She decided that he will no longer sleep over at my place until she think he’s ready. I’m so fed up with her controlling the situation and will be taking legal action to get custody.
5/21: I got served at work with court summon (which I was expecting so it didnt hit me hard) but what did hit is the allegation that she put in her statements. Its fking hilarious how your ex can use single little things to try to get at you legally. Basically she is saying that she wants sole custody because I'm not capable of taking care of my son. I went to lawyers office and they laughed it off saying " yeah we see this all the time, dont you worry about it ". You know I tried to keep this civil as possible not touching any of her finance but she started this war. I will go after all the assets that she has and she can have mine too. (I was a stay home dad for over a year due to her request) After finish talking to the lawyer, puzzles started to match.. she never REALLY wanted 50/50 like she had said in mediation.
Can you guys share your story? Like if your ex made false allegation towards you and how you won 50/50 custody?

To set the scene a little better our grandfather's house is right next to our own, the two are less that thirty feet apart give or take. My aunt and uncle filed for bankruptcy around six months ago and last month got evicted from their house, we let them live in our living room for the past month and it's been an absolute nightmare, they were slobs, and didn't look to be job searching the entire time. And now that we've kicked them out they're trying to live in our deceased grandfather's house right next to us. After he passed away he supposedly delegated one seventh of the house to each of his daughters (Don't know what that entails, but wanted to add it in case it was of note) one of them being my mother and another being my aunt who intends to live in there.
The bare bones answer I'm looking for is if there is any possible way we can keep them from living in that house, I apologize if my description was just as bare bones but I'm willing to answer any necessary questions that could clear things up, thank you to anyone who even takes a moment of time to give me an answer.

Hi so I feel like a lot of the discourse about people not liking this season is also in part people not really understanding what friends to lovers is, specifically the relationship between Colin and Penelope, so I thought I might share my thoughts :)
Now I haven’t read the books - this is all based on what I gleaned from the show on multiple rewatches and as someone who has been the Penelope in a friendship for a longggg long time. Hopefully this makes sense.
———
Romance tropes are so often boiled down to their immediate, basic truths. The popular enemies to lovers, for example: Enemy 1 + Enemy 2 + sexual tension = Lover 1 and Lover 2. Not to say enemies to lovers can’t be complex, but generally the starting point for enemies is an essential lack of trust between the parties and moments of connection (via fights) fueled by intense feelings of hatred/rage/whatever which can, in turn, translate to sexual tension. Due to the lack of trust, when they do get together it’s an explosion of that intense energy, highlighted even more-so by the knowledge that they don’t truly trust each other but they need each other which makes the heart race all the more and the passion all that more explosive.
Let’s look at Kate and Anthony as this trope. When they meet there is an immediate spark, fueled by a race in which they’re in competition. Once she hears him at the ball she decides she will do everything in her power to stop him from marrying her sister, and since he is determined to marry Edwina every interaction they have from that point on, until they have their happily ever after in the last episode, can be considered a fight. Moments like the bane of my existence and you vex me are such high intensity because it’s two people fueled by anger and sexual/romantic tension. They need each other like air but will do everything to fight it because of the anger, making the onscreen affections super intense for the viewer (especially as viewers who have just been introduced to Kate and are getting to know her through the lens of Anthony).
Now friends to lovers is, if I may say, quite a bit more complicated. All friendships are different - if you’re new friends your pipeline to lovers is likely entirely different to old friends to lovers. If one party is in love with the other that changes the dynamic entirely; are they long distance or close? Were they childhood friends? Are they both likeable and popular or is one more nerdy and quiet or both? All of these and more create new dynamics and emotions that can lead to love in different ways. My point is that friends to lovers is not as easy to pin down as something like enemies to lovers. So that’s why a couple like Polin may seem like they don’t have as much chemistry on screen - because their intensity shines in a different way than what we’re used to.
———
Going into season three we know that Penelope has been in love with Colin for a long time, but during that time the two also formed a close friendship. When Colin proposed to Marina, yes Penelope whistledowned about the pregnancy to stop him from marrying her for love reasons, but also because he is her friend and she didn’t want to see him trapped in a loveless marriage. We also know that when Colin traveled between seasons one and two Penelope most often responded to his letters. Even during a scene in season two Pen specifically asks to hear more about his travels, even though everyone else in Colin’s life had asked him to stop talking about it. Pen’s crush and friendship don’t cancel each other out, they exist side by side as two parts of Penelope that often overlap but are most importantly separate entities. And she knows that.
Colin does not. In season three when Colin is talking about when they first met, Penelope looks away with anxiety when Colin suggests he knows why Penelope was so forward in making fun of him for falling off his horse and starting their friendship. She knows it’s because she had a crush on him. He states that it was because they were kids. This means it’s canon that Penelope had a crush on him since the moment they met. As a result, Colin has never experienced a friendship with Pen that doesn’t also have an underlying crush. He doesn’t know that Pen doesn’t respond to everyone’s letters all the time, or hangs onto their every word, or goes out of her way to talk to them. How Pen acts around him is how he assumes she acts around everyone - that’s why he doesn’t pick up on her crush.
It’s also why, I argue, he doesn’t realize that he loves her until the kiss in season three. He truly and genuinely takes her affections, her friendship, for granted because he doesn’t understand that someone so loyal and loving like that is rare. He doesn’t appear to have much else in the way of friends; outside of his family we don’t really see him interact with other men, and in season three the “friends” he does spend time with make comments to suggest they only started hanging out with him after his personality change to be more like his brothers - a rake who doesn’t care much for real affections. It’s why he said he would never court Penelope Featherington, or why he said “You are Pen, you do not count” when asked why he was still talking to her if he swore off women. He was super young when his dad died, so the only male role models he has for what love means are Anthony and Benedict. So, as he understands it, a man courting a woman is about sleeping around until the man finds a suitable match that pleases the family regardless of the man’s happiness. Even though he saw that Anthony fell in love by the time Colin said he would never court Pen, he didn’t see Anthony’s journey to understanding that love is not something to run from but something to cherish like we, the viewers, did. Anthony’s arc was just background noise for Colin, so it wasn’t like that would change his outlook on what Anthony’s actions in season one and beginning of season two loudly called out: choosing love over meaningless sex is idiotic and weak. Colin is genuinely distressed when Penelope walks away from him at the garden party in the first episode of season three, and he went after her to explain that he missed her when she stopped writing to him on his travels. He loves his relationship with her, not understanding that what he feels is actually love for her because he has never been aware that true love feels the way it does when he is with Pen. In fact it is explained in a letter that the reason he decided to try being like his brothers is BECAUSE Penelope stopped responding to him during his travels between seasons two and three. He decided to start guarding his heart, throwing on the rakish armor we see him dawn in the first half of season three, because he didn’t have that relationship that made him feel stable and loved anymore. He sees Penelope as his best friendship, rather than the love of his life, because he literally can’t see it any other way based on how everything in his life played out to that point.
———
Okay this is way longer than I intended this to be already, but to finally make it to my main point! The Friends to Lovers trope as it plays out in Season Three Part One: Polin Do Be Polining.
What does all this mean for how Polin’s intensity shines? Due to the way their friendship has played out things like Colin taking Pen to the dance floor (not small social feat btw) in season one when Cressida bullies her, seeking each other out at social events, Pen asking about his travels - all of these are part of their romance! It’s all part of the slow burn; it’s just less slap-you-in-the-face noticeable, to a viewer of a show about romance, as Kate and Anthony and even Simon and Daphne because acting like friends is an implicit part of Polin’s love story. Because they are best friends as well as lovers!!
This is in full display in Season three, though put more on blast since it’s their season to get together. Colin saying he’ll teach Penelope how to get a husband isn’t a pity thing, it’s a real moment of genuine care that Colin is extending towards her.
—— “Pen wants to get a husband to be happy? Great! I’ll help her get a husband to make her happy because her happiness means everything to me.” - top ten photos taken ten seconds before disaster. ——
And it works! They start spending all this time together, and Pen has always looked gorgeous but is finally wearing clothes that she feels gorgeous in and you can see it in the way she acts, and suddenly Colin’s heart starts doing all these weird jumps around her like when she’s in the drawing room and when she wraps his hand because he has always loved her, so he doesn’t understand what these feelings that are coming up during these scenes are because they are not new feelings, just more intense ones of what he believes is pure friendship.
Penelope, during all of this, has had her brain decide to give up on Colin Bridgerton (even though her heart hasn’t). As someone who’s been there, being in unrequited love with your friend is brutal but you can never really let go. No matter how many people they date, or the hours you spend together talking about their new crush, or the life moments share together where they do everything but love you there is always that small spark of hope in your chest that you can’t let go of lest they ever possibly realize they love you back. That chance is too precious to give up - that’s why Penelope can’t give Debling a real answer when he asks her if she would like to be with Colin in episode four. Logically she knows she should give it up but her heart just can’t. She is a hopeless romantic and her life has been spinning around Colin Bridgerton since she was 16 like the earth around the Sun. There is no other way to live, for her, if she isn’t in love with Colin. And that’s what breaks her heart the most.
It’s also why, I believe, she asks him to kiss her in that garden. She had just written about herself in Whistledown that she did the upmost embarrassing act of taking Colin’s assistance on the marriage market, and her mother dressed her down about being a spinster for the rest of her life. All of Pen’s plans, of marrying and getting out and even finding what could turn into love, are utterly gone for her in that moment when she goes out to the garden. She doesn’t have her prospects. She doesn’t have Eloise. She doesn’t have safety in her own home. The only thing she has left is Colin. That’s why she asks him to kiss her, because he might grant her this one kindness of making her feel alive for just this one moment before the rest of her life ends. That moment is the culmination of all of her feelings up to that point in the show. She’s given up on Colin - she wouldn’t have asked him to kiss her had she any hope left. This was her last ditch attempt to just be a girl and be kissed regardless of what he actually meant to her. It wasn’t out of desperation, it was staring down the barrel of the gun with societies’s finger on the trigger.
When she asks him Colin is taken aback. Not because he doesn’t want to kiss her but because he has never considered it before. Kissing was reserved for women you are looking to sleep with at a bar, for prostitutes in alleyways, not for his caring Pen. I’ve seen some upset over not including more of Colin’s writing in the show, as he becomes quite the writer in the books apparently, and the writing we do see is just about sex but given the way they paced the show they provided the most important piece of context for Colin’s understanding of intimacy in the writing they did use. He wonders how one can feel, despite sleeping with every kind of woman across Europe, such intimacy in physical closeness and yet such distance emotionally. It’s some level of satisfying for him to sleep around, but it doesn’t fulfill him in the way it seemed to fulfill his brothers. He cannot equate the idea of kissing to Penelope because he feels such emotional closeness to her. But when she brings it up, suddenly everything clicks into place for him. All the emotions he feels towards her, what he thought was just friendship, is so much more. Yes she is his friend, but by god he wants to kiss his friend.
———
Their kiss is sweet, and soft. Unlike Daphne and Anthony’s first kisses with their respective partners it isn’t this immense clashing of bodies and teeth. It’s two friends who love each other finally meeting each other as sparks fly and shivers run down their spines.
Colin is left speechless, and confused. The kiss was amazing to him because he finally unlocked that part of him that made him realize he was in love with Penelope. The kiss was amazing to Penelope because she has been in love with him for so long, but it was also tinged with her own doubts and feelings of hopelessness. That’s why she runs away, and thanks him, because this was her last stand and he was just her friend helping her out as she believes.
But as always, a night of sleep helps clarify things. The next time Pen goes into society she is awkward but still well intentioned about getting a husband because that kiss was a long day’s worth of self pity followed by, in her terms, a moment of weakness. But it clarified things for her too. Now she can’t die without ever having been kissed, so that ultimatum she set up in her own mind was gone and everything seems much more manageable from that point on. Colin, as we know, is a wreck who is absolutely bamboozled at these feelings and we love to watch him flounder!!!
———
Now the tables have been turned. To those of who are think Penelope should have chosen Debling, this part is for you. This is when Debling really starts to court Penelope as she goes after him. She literally fights Cressida for him, because he seems like the most amenable husband for her to be able to continue Whistledown and be provided security. She isn’t looking for love in Debling because she already has love in Colin (love she believes will always remain unrequited, but that kiss can be a memory she cherishes for the rest of her life and that be that); she basically did was Anthony did at the beginning of season two. Find a suitable match that makes the most sense for her and leave love out of it. She likes Debling, for sure, and he’s a rly nice guy!! He cares about her in a way that a suitor might, and I’m certain had they gotten married he wouldn’t have been mean to her or anything. But she would’ve been lonely. As remembered she is a romantic, someone who craves the love she reads about in her romance books. She’s spent most of her conscious life in love - marrying Debling would stop that in its tracks. In his own words, Debling tells Pen that he could try to maybe love her but that it was far too unlikely to find any room in his heart her for over his passions (aroace Debling stand rise). He specifically mentions that he is choosing her to marry because she has her own passions, separate from his, that can keep her company while he is gone both physically and emotionally from her. She doesn’t realize this until it’s too late, when her focus on the chase is over, and Debling asks her mother for her hand. It’s only then that she thinks that maybe she could hold out for love, and that power is strong enough to make her actively not want to ensure her security through Debling.
Love is treacherous, and yet we yearn for it like a sailor who cannot help but smile at the beauty of the raging sea at it comes crashing down upon him. Penelope would rather a thousand lifetimes of the chance to be in love with Colin over one lifetime married to Debling in safety.
That is why Debling breaks it off with her. Because she loves Colin, Debling knows she would choose Colin over him, and he sees Colin’s interest in her even if she does not. Like Colin literally found out she was going to get engaged, ran to the ball, interrupted the dance wherein Debling was going to ask Pen to marry him, ran after her carriage just to know if she was engaged because he couldn’t fathom letting her get away in a loveless marriage, and when finding out she was not engaged telling her he loved her even if she did not love him back because he simply had to express to her how much he loved her as he owed her that as his friend. Colin got in his knees in that carriage because he was genuinely splaying out his heart to her for her to dissect as she chose. He put himself at her mercy because that is where he believes his place to be - just hers, and no one else’s.
———
The carriage scene is, of course, the moment of highest intensity from the viewer standpoint of what we think love should appear to be. Other scenes could be Colin’s dream, and the moment in the sweets tent, etc. But those moments aren’t all of Polin’s love story. They may be the most visceral to witness, but they are just as important as the two of them laughing together in the corner of a ball. Their romantic trope is defined as Friends to Lovers, but that isn’t quite right - they are both. There is no big “or” between the two. Colin and Penelope are friends and lovers, and all of it is a beauty to witness.
And that’s all! If you’ve made it this far thanks for sticking around to listen to my obsessive thoughts. I wish you a very happy Bridgerton rewatch :)

Recipe I've been using with relative success but struggling with this washed Ethiopian:
Water ppm 65
Temp - 95C
1:16.5 ratio (18.5g coffee to 300g water)
5 equal 60g pours gently after the bed draws down
Grind setting - 11-12
Usually draws down around 3:30
This Ethiopian is taking a lot longer though and tastes just bad. I tasted it at the shop I got it from on drip and it was subtle but great and really flavorful. Guy didn't know much when I asked for recs on how to brew though.

Hi! I am an OR nurse and a large portion of my current patient population is Spanish speaking only. Luckily since I am in the OR there is only a bit of speaking I have to do, I am going to give my script below in English and Google Translated Spanish. I am interested in knowing if there are any better (easier, simpler, shorter, clearer, more polite, etc.) ways to phrase things and if there are points where words need to be modified on a case by case basis (i.e. patient gender).
Hello my name is [NAME] I will be your nurse in the operating room today. I just have a few questions for you and then we can roll back.
Can you confirm your full name and birth date?
Do you have any allergies?
What procedure are we doing for you today?
Who is your surgeon?
When was the last time you ate or drank anything?
Do you have any metal implants?
Do you have any questions?
When we get back to the room
(IN OPERATING ROOM)
This is [SCRUB] he/she will be helping [SURGEON] with the procedure. Will you tell him/her your full name and birthday?
It's okay to be nervous, you don't this everyday. But, we do this everyday, and we'll be with you the whole time.
Please lean forward so I can untie your gown.
I am going to lay the head of your bed back.
Please scoot over to the operating room bed. Lift your hips so that you will not be sitting on your gown.
Please cross your arms over your chest, I am removing the bed now.
I have warm blankets for you.
The anesthetist is going to hook you up to the monitor now.
Please rest your arm here on the armboard.
I am putting on a safety strap
The mask is just pure oxygen. Please take deep breaths- in and out.
Have you decided what you want to dream about yet?
The anesthetist is giving you some relaxing medication now, it might burn a little, that is normal.
I'll see you in just a bit, enjoy your nap.
Hola, mi nombre es [NAME]. Hoy seré su enfermera en el quirófano. Solo tengo algunas preguntas para usted y luego podremos retroceder.
¿Puedes confirmar tu nombre completo y fecha de nacimiento?
¿Tienes alguna alergia?
¿Qué trámite te hacemos hoy?
¿Quién es tu cirujano?
¿Cuándo fue la última vez que comiste o bebiste algo?
¿Tiene algún implante metálico?
¿Tiene usted alguna pregunta?
Cuando volvamos a la habitación
(IN OPERATING ROOM)
Este es [SCRUB], él/ella ayudará a [SURGEON] con el procedimiento. ¿Le dirás tu nombre completo y fecha de nacimiento?
Está bien estar nervioso, no lo haces todos los días. Pero hacemos esto todos los días y estaremos contigo todo el tiempo.
Por favor, inclínate hacia adelante para que pueda desatar tu vestido.
Voy a recostar la cabecera de tu cama.
Por favor, acérquese a la cama del quirófano. Levanta las caderas para no sentarte sobre la bata.
Por favor, cruza los brazos sobre el pecho. Ahora estoy quitando la cama.
Tengo mantas calientes para ti.
El anestesista ahora lo conectará al monitor.
Por favor, apoye su brazo aquí en el reposabrazos.
me estoy poniendo una correa de seguridad
La máscara es sólo oxígeno puro. Por favor, inhale y exhale profundamente.
¿Ya has decidido con qué quieres soñar?
El anestesista te está dando ahora algún medicamento relajante, puede que te arda un poco, eso es normal.
Te veré en un momento, disfruta tu siesta.

Context: We are both 32, met on neopets at age 11, met in person at age 14, didn’t see each other again until 2022 but remained close friends online.
In the summer of 2022, I was going through the absolute worst part of my life. Early June, I went on vacation out of state, and though I was in a 10 year relationship at the time, I didn’t talk to my at the time girlfriend much. Our relationship was cratering because she was struggling with alcoholism and depression. I was trying to figure out a way to break things off in a clean way, unwind our financial and living situation, etc. During this vacation, we didn’t talk much. It was tense and frankly exhausting. Instead, every day, from morning til night, I was talking to my now ex. Mind you… I wasn’t cheating. I didn’t have feelings for her at the time. We were both just in a bad place - her dealing with the father of her 3 children cheating on her, and still living with him, me, dealing with a failing relationship I desperately needed out of. To be honest, most of our conversations were about work, where our relationships went wrong, and our kids. My son from another relationship ship is low functioning intelligence / autistic, which also caused a lot of issues - my partner at the time did try to accept this and be a mother figure but deep down, it was too difficult for her.
I get back home, and in the span of two weeks, my life fucking cratered. I’m talking about cinema grade levels of shit hit the fan.

1. My son burned my garage down to the studs while I was asleep - I had to run and pull him out of a burning garage, get my then girlfriend out of bed, and get our dog outside. We didn’t have a fire extinguisher so it was, so far, my closest near death experience
2. I was forced out of a company I co-founded by my 2 business partners, losing a 125k year salary, just months before the company was purchased for approximately 10,000,000 - my share would have been 10%
3. My at the time girlfriend went to a routine doctors appointment - a woman who struggled with alcoholism, has pcos and ovarian cysts, with what we were told an almost 0% fertility rate….was 7 months pregnant.

My son was held in the care of the local state children’s hospital for mental and physical examination. My home was in shambles, and the insurance company dragged their feet throughout the entire ordeal. I was reeling from a massive financial blow and loss of identity in a lot of ways, because that company felt like my life’s mission. My current gf and I split up, she moved out to live with her aunt, and it wasn’t pretty. I was so angry, so defeated.
I had a complete mental breakdown. I’m talking, I flew my mother in town to help with daily tasks. I couldn’t function. I lost about 30lbs, lost many friendships both personal and professional.
But this woman was there for me. She was a shoulder to cry on. She bore the brunt of my mental and emotional exhaustion and never pushed me away, never looked at me differently. We were drawn to each other during this time of complete fucking chaos, and one night, I hit on her. I threw out some bait, she took it, and we met up for the first time since we were teenagers.
We hit it off tremendously. It was like we hadn’t been apart a day in our lives. We both fell in love, quickly, as I began to rebuild my life, welcome a new child into the world, repair my home, work on myself professionally. She was there, through all of it, and she made it easier. I could lean on her, I could look forward to her, no matter what life had thrown me, I thought I had found my soulmate in this woman I’ve known longer than anyone. So, we started to date.
It was difficult in the beginning. She had to move out of her ex boyfriends house and get an apartment. This took a lot of time and planning because she was working a retail job and hadn’t been on her own in 7 years. This man was abusive, controlling, and eventually she managed to get an apartment with her mother to get away from him. He was furious that after a year of the two of them being broken up, that we got together. He wrongfully assumed I’d been in the wings all these years, which couldn’t be farther from the truth - he had cheated on her and she left him and refused to reconcile. It took a few months but she got an apartment. This was difficult for her, she left a nice area and moved to a low income area. She could only see her kids 50% of the time. Transportation was rough between both towns. It put a huge strain on her mentally.
I, meanwhile, did what I could. In the beginning I went out of my way to see her at every opportunity I could. I’d take her out to dinner often, visit her at work, stay over at her apartment. She’d come over to my house. It wasn’t easy - I bought my home just as Covid started to rock the housing market, and I had to land in a rural town. So we had 45 miles between us. I was also busy dealing with life without a live in partner, facilitating my sons care, and having my newborn 50% of the time.
But it was good, I thought. We got along well, it was electric, it was our escape. About a year into the relationship, the mother of my child had to move back into my spare room. She was struggling and I was not going to turn her or my daughter away in the time of need, it was not even a consideration. My ex understood, but acknowledged the pressure it put on us both mentally and emotionally - my house was now, effectively, off limits. This greatly reduced the time we could see each other. We’d go 2-3 weeks without getting together, with our only time between managing our schedules being maybe 2-3 hours on a random day, or a quick outing. Our relationship devolved quickly into a FWB situationship, and this is where the mistakes were made.
I didn’t see it at the time, but that’s all we really had. I was complacent and aloof, a little distant, and just… okay only seeing her every now and then. I think deep down I wanted more but it became such an insurmountable hurdle to put together. During this next part of the year or so remaining, she began to fall out of love with me. She told me that she felt like we were just FWB, stagnant, and going nowhere. She was dealing with depression, openly despising herself, and struggling to see a future with me. I realized that my complacency was to blame, but to a certain degree, she too was complacent.
Instead of voicing her concerns, talking options, solutions on how to build a life together, she sunk into her depression.l, and her feelings faded. I guess the how’s turned into why’s, and the what ifs turned into oh well. I do acknowledge I took on a huge responsibility dating a single mother of 3, but…. After learning these things from her the last few days, I realized.
I never felt like a team. We were together in flesh and bond only, we never discussed our future. We didn’t plan, we merely hoped. And we drifted away from each other, and in the end, it became too much for her to bear, and being alone felt like the best solution for her. She left me 2 weeks ago after bringing these issues to light. Initially I was devastated. I collected my thoughts and spoke with her last night.
I told her, I did want more, but I got comfortable, and so did you for a bit. We were stagnant because neither of us pushed the other forward. I wanted to be a team, I wanted to work towards something, but the opportunity just slipped through our hands. I begged. I pleaded. I told her, I’d do whatever I can to build a life for us. I own my home, it’s small, but it’s something. I can work harder, I can figure things out, I can work towards pulling together the things we need. I can be more present, more attentive. Because despite the both of us checking out to an extent, I very much still love her.
I feel and see her everywhere in my daily life. I cling to her, I dream of her, I long for her. I feel like the deck was so stacked against us, that we both bit off more than we could chew. But in the end, she didn’t want to keep trying, she didn’t see a future, and I’m stuck picking up the pieces and so desperately wanting things to work.
She told me to move on, to heal, to grow stronger and become a better person. She has no hard feelings, no contempt or regret. She just lacks the physical, mental, and emotional capacity to have a relationship, and that she doesn’t want to. But I still can’t shake the fact that I really thought I had found my person. I love this woman. I…. I wasn’t ready to stop. I risked so much, pushed through so much adversity to bring us together, but in the end, it just wasn’t enough.
It sucks. I’m devastated, defeated. I truly feel like life looked me in the eyes and said no, you are not good enough for this. I blocked her this morning because I realize she has made her peace and moved on, and that I will only drag her down, push her away, and erode my dignity at every turn, because I am still struggling to accept no for an answer. She didn’t cheat on me, she didn’t abuse me. We never fought, argued. We got along so, so, so well. She was the most important person in my life outside of my children, and I failed to show her that. And I feel in some ways, she failed me too. Because when it got hard, challenging, when it became time to work on life together, she got spooked, spiraled, and…. Gave up. She gave up on us.
I thank you for reading. It’s disorganized and insane because frankly I don’t know how to put all of this on paper. I’m going into therapy next month to revisit a lot of the issues I faced before her and to understand life after her and what went wrong. I have never felt a void like this in my life, there is a her shaped hole in my life and just….. this is just another level of pain.

TLDR: My VERY SERIOUS bf dumped me when he found out my seggsual history (even though his is worse) and now goes around town calling me a s!ut. how am i meant to feel?
I think my breakup is something that has only happened to me. If this is something you have gone through or men, if you’d do this and can offer insight PLEASE comment. looking for insight and advice on moving on.
I 20F was dating a man 20M for 7months. He dumped me in February. It was a passionate, amazing, love at first sight kind of relationship. We wrote love letters, we danced in my living room to songs we might play at our hypothetical wedding, he met my family, i met his. It was the kid of relationship that made us kiss waiting for cross walks, it made us lay in bed naked and laugh, it was beautiful. It was love. it was so much love we discussed him moving in with me when I graduated in a year. I won’t bore you with details but we were SO in love.
It was a bit of a rocky start. we were FWB and then I caught feelings. he was seeing 3 other girls (2 seggsually) at the time. During the FWB phase he said he loved me. He said he really loved me. but he refused to give up the girls he was sleeping with. My jealousy and heartbreak caused fights. eventually I left him because i couldn’t take not being fully his. especially not when i loved him too. We were broken up for a week and then he came back. roses in hand, begging me for a chance because he realize he can’t live without me. we became official, and the whirlwind romance described above began.
Throughout the relationship, our romantic and seggsual history would come up. I knew about basically everything he’d done, and i didn’t care because he was with me now. it didn’t make me feel any type of way. But as he found out more about mine he became disgusted with me. Which didn’t seem fair at all.
His seggsual history included things like, pegging, hookups, stds, public seggs, CHEATING (he cheated on an ex with 2 diff girls) and a body count of 10
Mine was a 3way, one one night stand, a few girls (i’m bisexual), i’ve kissed (short ones) a lot of ppl on dares and at parties, and my body count is 9
I’d been very open about the 3way and the girls. i don’t feel shame over those things. but the threeway drove him insane. truly i’ve never seen someone so aggressively jealous. My friends joke about the three way because all in all, it was not a good outcome for me. the guy ended up threatening to unalige himself and he was all around crazy. It was just an experiment t and while the seggs was okay the over all experience wasn’t great and i expressed no interest in doing it again.
We were both very seggsual people, were 20, in college, and have high seggs drives. During the time we were NOT official and i was hurting i went to a party and on a dare kissed 5 girls. (just kissed. short drunken kisses). Even though he was HAVING S-E-X with other women at the time he thought i had betrayed him.
To be clear i was NEVER unfaithful once i was his girlfriend. More than anything in the WORLD i wanted to be his i loved him (and still do) till the ends of the earth.
But basically, as he found out more about my seggsual history he said i disgusted him. he said it made me “unloveable” and “unworthy of marriage”. I felt like sh!t. i felt he was a hypocrite. We couldn’t stop fighting. Then he dumped me. He said I “toyed with him “ and made his life “hell with jealousy”. he said he wishes he never met me and i’m a monster for “speaking about those things with someone you love”. After 6 months of him knowing these things already he suddenly decided i was disgusting. He found all of this out around month two.
Now he goes around publicly calling me a s!ut and telling ppl im a monster. All because of my seggsual history. I never wanted to hurt him but i don’t truly understand how sharing my past did that.
He hates me now. like HATES ME HATES ME to the point of threats of v!olence against me and my family and friends. I cannot describe to you how abrasive and insane the things he says are. he treats me like some sort of convicted murd**er. He goes around town telling ppl i’m a s!ut.
What the hell happened!? Has this happened to anyone else!!? i thought it was just jealousy. Pls advise i just need to hear someone else’s thoughts.

We went to Kayzo yesterday and we were tired so my homegirl and I were tired so we sat down (yes I know but it was the back and there was literally so much room around it wasn’t just sit down in the middle of the crowd) she wanted to lean back so I sat behind her and my legs were spread out
I don’t know what what wrong with these dipshits but one Asian train despite all of the empty space they were going to trip right over us instead of going around and they didn’t even say sorry but I let that one go
Then this one dude idk what he was he literally yelled then JUMPED RIGHT ON MY LEG. I literally grabbed him so he wouldn’t hit my friend too and I was literally about to fight him because his dumbass wouldn’t stop until who I’m assuming was his girlfriend ran over and started apologizing. He didn’t even care cause he ran off and was still doing the same thing.
Even when we got up randomly people would bump into us for a good minute until we just left for kaskade which had much nicer people tbh. I’d understand more if it was the middle of the crowd but there was literally no one even near us.
I know it’s not EVERYONE but Jesus what was wrong with the people that set everyone looked cracked out 💀

So, funny story, I decided to get a whiteboard calendar and a plain whiteboard for my room since I'm transferring schools, and one of the things I realized about myself is that I need to plan for deadlines better.
Hence, the whiteboards so I could write physical reminders, and not have to get notebooks. I had a Micheals giftcard, so I decided to get it at the Coles in PTC since they had the big whiteboard I wanted. I also went and got the Mario Magnets so I could have a vivid symbol to let me know what's important and not.
I paid like $30, the giftcard was $20, and the magnets were like $13, and the whiteboard after was about $15.
I still hadn't set up the calendar whiteboard yet, and I bought this back in April. Today, I go to Dollarama.
Same calendar whiteboard, but for $5, plus they had matching plain whiteboards for like $4. I was so cheesed seeing this. I can't even get the refund at Coles now, since the refund period passed.
Just a newsflash to anybody looking to buy stationary or other things, CHECK. DOLLARAMA. FIRST. They have everything now!

Hi guys
17mo bio child and 4yo stepkids that we have almost 50%.
Do you find playrooms allowed a space for your kids to play together and reduce play clutter from their rooms/ living rooms, or just added an extra room for mess? 🤣
I'm mostly thinking for sensory/messy type play for rainy days and the long dark of winter, and rotate their regular toys so it's not overwhelming. Indoor swing, soft play mats etc
We're not rich by any means so it would be a slow project.
We own a large but old house with 6 differently sized rooms on 40 neglected acres.
3 x large rooms (our room fits a queen bed, bed frame, bedside tables and a chest of drawers) 3 x small, one a bit smaller than the others. The small ones fit a queen bed just, and not too much more room. The smallest one is being used as a study.
Our room has a inbuilt wardrobe so makes sense we have it.
The twins share the other large room and our bio daughter has the 3rd.
The twins were nervous when we originally moved house nearly 2 years ago, so we kept them in the same room that is right next to ours. They are much more comfortable now, and have seperate rooms at their mums.
I am thinking we move the twins into their own, small rooms and use what is their room to have as a joint play room for all 3.
Does that sound reasonable? That would mean our daughter has a bigger room than them, but there's no way (without renovating which we cannot afford) to give all 3 kids an equal sized room.
We would get the twins to be part of decorating their rooms and make the move special etc, and at their pace. I'm hoping to make all 3 kids rooms less cluttered(which I know doesn't mean tidy lol) but a calming safe space they can go to unwind, destress, be by themselves and of course sleep.
Thoughts??

Review the events of the day, and list any situations/events that impacted you. Pick the situation(s) that had the most impact on you and answer all of the questions below for each situation.
(Use a new comment for each new situation that you want to introspect upon.)
​

1. What was the situation?
2. How did I react to the situation? (eg. Didn't go to bed to sleep at 10PM. Stayed up on reddit instead)
3. Why did I react this way? (eg. Poor self-control, addicted to reddit)
4. What was the outcome? (eg. felt groggy and tired throughout the day)
5. Is the situation positive or negative? (eg. negative)
6. Do I want to change it? (eg. YES)
7. How can I change it? (eg. Go to sleep on time)
8. What substitute can be utilized? (eg. Use tech in the morning instead of at night before bed; replace reddit at night with reading a book)
9. What are some ways of remembering when I am getting into this situation? (eg. Set phone alarm for sleep at 9:45PM. Turn off modem at 10PM)

Be honest. Be specific. Try to articulate why you felt that way.

Purtle's Internet Lineup for May 21st, 2024 8:00pm
Pics:

• my favorite part about this was people asking Adam Wingard what inspired him and he's just like "i think it's cute when my cat takes a nap in her lil cat bed." https://twitter.com/ThatWitchMia/status/1792264981712671230
  
• paper mario TTYD remake: oh my goodness gracious. this is not an edit. we won. we won so hard. https://twitter.com/Dededaio2/status/1792907310785830917
  
• these two might have the most catastrophically poor distribution of any pokemon in history https://twitter.com/Lewchube/status/1792960406010396726
  

Clips:

• bring back old trolls https://twitter.com/roxaplasm/status/1792234956405543407
  
• What if Pokemon and AnimalCrossing had a crossover game https://twitter.com/spicyBeefu/status/1792964068577296679
  
• Free-to-play versions of some of Falcoms games were apparently released in South Korea as part of a service called FROG in the 2000s. The way it worked was that players would watch ads that periodically popped up during loading screens. Pretty funny to see in action. https://twitter.com/bowloflentils/status/1780632118151856541
  

Videos

• Happy 20 years of Shrek 2! To celebrate, we are proud to unleash the official trailer for Shrek 2 Retold, our crowdsourced, scene-for-scene remake of the greatest fairytale sequel ever told! https://twitter.com/the3GI/status/1792318791944159460
  
• Find your rhythm with new Character BGM Settings in the Audio tab where you can change which track plays during a fight! Music throughout Street Fighter history is available for purchase with Drive Tickets or Fighter Coins - all packaged by series. Coming with the Akuma Update! https://twitter.com/StreetFightestatus/1792676674770792785
  
• It's your graduation day and this music starts playing https://twitter.com/MaryoZimmerman/status/1792712035035439333
  
• ELDEN RING Shadow of the Erdtree Story Trailer [3:15] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uT8wGtB3yQ
  
• Marbler has done it! For the first time ever, Super Mario 64 has been beaten in 0 A presses! https://old.reddit.com/speedrun/comments/1cx5yid/marbler_has_done_it_for_the_first_time_ever_supe
  
• Here comes new challenge screens customizations! Brighten your matches with these illustrations from kangyaku, the artist behind the web comic "You've Got This, Juri!" Pick them up with Fighter Coins or Drive Tickets on May 22. https://twitter.com/StreetFightestatus/1793039068114108517
  

Articles/News/Other

• Red Lobster files for bankruptcy https://old.reddit.com/news/comments/1cwgslp/red_lobster_files_for_bankruptcy/
  
• Nintendo acquires Shiver Entertainment from Embracer. "Shiver’s focus will remain the same, continuing commissions that port and develop software for multiple platforms including Nintendo Switch." Shiver recently worked on porting & developing Hogwarts Legacy and Mortal Kombat 1 https://twitter.com/Wario64/status/1792702231893946845
  
• 10-year-old swept into storm drain to become an organ donor, dad says https://old.reddit.com/news/comments/1cwq5t2/10yearold_swept_into_storm_drain_to_become_an/
  
• Scarlett Johansson Says She Declined ChatGPT's Proposal to Use Her Voice for AI – But They Used It Anyway: 'I Was Shocked' https://old.reddit.com/technology/comments/1cwsv4o/scarlett_johansson_says_she_declined_chatgpts/
  
  • Scarlett Johansson's response to Sam Altman ripping off her voice https://old.reddit.com/interestingasfuck/comments/1cwthib/scarlett_johanssons_response_to_sam_altman/
• Microplastics found in every human testicle in study https://old.reddit.com/interestingasfuck/comments/1cwzggv/microplastics_found_in_every_human_testicle_in/
  
• Minors again found working at Alabama poultry plant where 16-year-old died, Department of Labor says https://old.reddit.com/news/comments/1cx7umd/minors_again_found_working_at_alabama_poultry/
  
• Twitch - Today we’re rolling out two new content filtering and blurring tools that give you more control over your viewing experience. https://twitter.com/Twitch/status/1792965279959658758
  
• Tucker Carlson launches show on Russian state TV https://old.reddit.com/NewsOfTheStupid/comments/1cxcd7p/tucker_carlson_launches_show_on_russian_state_tv/
  
• JUST IN: Boeing offers condolences after a passenger was killed on a Boeing 777 plane, says their “thoughts” are with the passengers and crew. In total 30 people were injured and a 73-year-old British man was killed. The incident happened after the plane fell a whopping 6000 feet. “Suddenly the aircraft starts tilting up and there was shaking so I started bracing for what was happening, and very suddenly there was a very dramatic drop so everyone seated and not wearing seatbelt was launched immediately into the ceiling,” a passenger said. “Some people hit their heads on the baggage cabins overhead and dented it, they hit the places where lights and masks are and broke straight through it.” https://twitter.com/CollinRugg/status/1792929488730194207
  
• Why Were Older Pokemon Games More Memorable? and what takeaways on adventure games can we learn from this? (links below!) https://twitter.com/han_tani/status/1792888131248955781
  
• Gamers Have Become Less Interested in Strategic Thinking and Planning https://old.reddit.com/gaming/comments/1cxf1ei/gamers_have_become_less_interested_in_strategic/
  

This is my first reddit post and honestly it's a lot so please bear with me. I'm still trying to figure out how to process everything and make sense of it all. I guess we will start at the very beginning. My boyfriend,( we will call him michael) and I just passed 6 months together. Honestly, hes been great. We clicked pretty fast and have a great bond. I feel safe and comfortable around him and can communicate in a way ive never been able to before. It just kinda works. I definitely fell hard and fast for him and from what I could gather, the feeling was mutual. We had met on tinder in early October and went on our first date in November. We made it official shortly after our first date.
After we started dating, he had briefly mentioned that he had a friend who had a bit of a crush on him. I told him I didn't mind and I trusted him. As long as he kept things respectful to me, it didn't matter. He then explained that her crush was a bit obsessive and he actually wanted to push her out of his life and needed advice. Apparently, this friend, (we will call her beth) was pregnant and wanted Michael to be her baby's God Father. He said that she would follow him and got jealous when he was with other girls. I found this kind of odd but he swore they were just friends, so I told him the best way to let her down gently and let him do his thing. About two weeks later, he told me she was out of the picture. I didn't really care either way but the communication was cool.
Anyways, I pretty quickly forgot about all of that because it was irrelevant and I wanted to focus on our relationship. One night when we were hanging out, he got a snapchat notification. He turned away from me to respond to it but I didn't think much of it, just asked who that was. He said it was just a friend (we will call this one Jen) and they were catching up. I had never heard of her before but I didn't care, I just said cool and dropped it. Just like before, I quickly forgot about that conversation because again,it was irrelevant and I had better things to think about. I trusted him so why should I care who he talks to? He is his own person after all and I understand the importance of friendships.
Fast forward about another two weeks later, him and I had our first argument. I dont remember what it was about. Most likely something small and pointless because I had a stressful day at work but nothing too serious. We did not talk much that day. Later that night, I apologized and we talked it over. Everything was fine. He then told me that earlier in the day, an old friend that he had removed off social media readded him and messaged him. We will call her Molly. Apparently she had just noticed she was removed and was upset and wanted to know why. He told me that he sent her a message explaining that he didn't see her in his life long term and doesn't feel the need to keep someone around who won't be around forever so he didn't want to be friends anymore. He then removed her again. At this point I thought the way he acted was odd. I had never heard of molly before, he waited until he had already removed her before telling me about the conversation, she only came into the picture when we had our first argument and it got me thinking about the other girls who were just friends. I definitely started to over think a bit and was more than curious about who these people were and what their relationship to him was. But he swore they were all just friends. So I continued to believe him.
We went a long period of time without anything coming up so once again I forgot about it and moved on with my life. Him and I were doing great. We were young dumb and in love. I felt truly happy, something I hadn't experienced in a long time. I felt like I genuinely found someone who was right for me and I didn't need to second guess whether or not he was gonna cheat on me. He occasionally would ask to see my phone but I didn't have anything to hide so I allowed him. I had set a boundary with him that if he ever felt concerned or needed reassurance, he needed to bring it up to me first. After we talked it over then he could see my phone, but we would always go through it together. This seemed fair to me. My phone was never off limits, there just needed to be open communication. Anyways, he would always offer for me to see his phone in return but I would decline. I didn't feel the need to and I had learned from past experiences that if you go digging, you will most likely see something you can't unsee.
Then one day he needed to have his wisdom teeth removed. I dropped him off in the morning for his surgery and I was told I needed to hold on to his personal belongings and wait until the operation was over. No big deal. I know this is wrong and I shouldn't have but finally curiosity got the best of me and I looked on his phone. At first it wasn't malicious. I genuinely was just curious. But of course, I saw things I wish I could unsee. It started off on tiktok. In one of his conversations with a friend, he poured his heart out, explaining how he was still so in love with his ex and missed her like crazy. Of course it stung a little to see the things he said but I knew there was someone before me so it wasn't that surprising. That was until I saw those messages had been sent in mid October. So of course i was like huh.we started talking early October and dating early November. So clearly he wasn't over his ex when he met me. But I was willing to forgive it. It wasn't a deal breaker. But Instead of putting the phone down to protect my peace and his privacy, I kept looking. And boy did I find a lot. I found lots of old text messages from contacts that were not saved. Most of then were hard-core sexting and flirting. This dude literally acted like a dog.And yeah it was again hard to see but it was before me and he wasn't like that anymore. With me, he was gentle and respectful and never treated me like an object. Some people just go through a phase and that's okay. Again, it wasn't a deal breaker. But finally i found some very passionate, lovey, intimate messages with an unsaved contact. I was immediately drawn in by the kind words and heartwarming love messages. Whoever this was, they cared for eachother very strongly. I almost immediately felt heartbroken. Not because she was a past love interest, but because he had never spoken to me the way he spoke to her. I read all the way from the top of the conversation. Months worth of love confessions, paragraphs of strong feelings, longing to be with one another, etc. But finally halfway through in one of the paragraphs I see a name. Molly I was shattered. Molly was the girl who supposedly was removed months before him and I even met. The one that was "just a friend" who messaged him and he removed her because he didn't want to be friends anymore. Yeah clearly they were more than just friends. I was livid and felt crushed. Why did he feel the need to lie about something so unnecessary? I wouldn't have been mad if he had told the truth about who she was. But then it got me thinking. Was Beth truly just a friend? Was Jen truly just a friend? What was the actual relationship? I gathered up as much as I could but then the nurse came to the lobby to tell me he was awake and ready to go home. I kind of panicked and in my hurry, I forgot to delete the screenshots out of his phone.
We get in the car and I give him his phone, he's still pretty loopy. Obviously I had a million questions to ask him but I knew he wasn't in the right state of mind to have that conversation so I put my feelings aside and decided it could wait. Well he wanted to take pictures of his bloody swollen face and send it to his uncle. In the process, he sees the screenshots i had forgotten to delete off his phone and immediately screams what the f*** is this? I tried to talk calmly and explain that now wasn't a good time to talk about it and it could wait. He kept pressing "what the f*** did you do? Who the hell is this?" In my mind I thought "uh dude, you tell me." But didn't want to escalate it while he was drugged up. I decided the best option was to simply say that I wasn't mad , I stilled planned on taking care of him while he recovered and that we would need to have a conversation when he was in a better state of mind. He just started sobbing. Oh boy. I kind of ignored it as much as I could. I drove us to the store to get ice cream and other soft foods he could eat before taking us back to my apartment. I helped get him set up in my bedroom and he still was crying. So much so he started coughing out blood. It smelled awful and got everywhere. He was a wreck. I felt bad for everything. I felt guilty for going on his phone behind his back, for leaving the screeshots on his phone and for him crying. It took several hours but eventually I got him to calm down. I kept my word and continued to take care of him until he was recovered.
Finally when enough time had passed I decided it was time to sit down and talk about it. I explained that obviously I had found messages and i wanted an explanation. He told me molly was just a friend, and very clearly it was more than that. I also explained that I had a suspicion that he was not fully honest about his relationship with Jen and Beth either. He looked me dead in the eyes and said he had no idea what I was talking about and they were just friends. I remained calm and explained that I won't be mad at him or leave him. I told him I didn't want to fight. I just felt as though I deserved to know the truth if I was going to continue to be with him, especially since he was still in contact with Beth and Jen while we were dating. We continue to go back and forward for several hours with no progress. I decided then if he didn't feel I deserved the truth, I would find out for myself. I took the screenshots I had found and reached out to the contacts one by one.
Let's start with Beth. She was the quickest to respond. I briefly explained who I was and that I was hoping to ask some questions about my partner because I felt like i was being lied to and was hoping she could fill in some of the gaps. She texted back and simply asked "do you work at blank" I responded that yes, I did. She then asked if I lived at a specific apartment complex. I said yes and was creeped out. She knew where I worked and lived. She then asked if she could call me. I agreed. For some context, he told me that she was a friend he had met in school. He explained that she had gotten out of a rough relationship and he wanted to make sure she was okay when it happened. That's how they became close. He explained that they would hang out all the time and eventually she became obsessed with him. Well during my phone call with her, I heard a very different story. Yes, they met in school and initially started off as friends. But, slowly with time as they started to spend more and more time together, they started to catch feelings. He said I love you first. And she proved this with screenshots. She also sent me pictures of them holding hands and kissing. She explained that they never officially started dating but they definitely were more than just friends. Their relationship was much more physical and romantic than platonic. She also told me that they had hooked up about 3 times. She explained that they had eachothers location and pretty frequently they would make plans then he would last minute cancel. So she would see what he was doing and would see him at two very specific addresses. Visiting my work or my apartment. She eventually asked him where he was and he told her that I was his cousin and was trying to get out of a rough relationship so he was helping me. I felt sick. No wonder why she was "obsessed" he was borderline dating her, telling her he loved her, and then started to ditch her when he made things official with me. Then it killed me to realize that even though they never had an official title, he was dating the two of us at the same time. I didn't know what to do. I ended up apologizing to her for everything he did and told her I never would have agreed to be his if I knew he was entertaining someone else. Michael overheard this phone call between us and looked like he had seen a ghost after. All he did was started crying, said she was lying, and that she was only a friend. I asked "so....these screenshots and pictures are all made up?" No response. He knew he was busted.
I decided I needed to take some time to process that information and I didn't want to say something I would regret. I let him stay at my place because he had nowhere else to go and I went to stay with a friend. He kept calling and texting but I couldn't deal with it. I cried all night. I was a mess. I should have just accepted that I was cheated on and lied to but I couldn't leave. I needed to know the truth. So I kept reaching out. Next up was Jen. I never was able to reach her, but I found out through Michael and Beth that Jen was Beth's best friend. But even more than that, I found out the three of them had a threesome together. He had told me previously that he had never been interested in a threesome and would never want to have one. Then I found out not only did he have one and lied about it, but it was with two girls he told me were just friends.
I went back to my apartment the next day and tried to talk stuff out. He just continued to say they were just friends. I finally snapped. I screamed and cried and told him that I just wanted to know the truth. That I deserved the truth. He looked me in the eyes, pinky promised me no more lies. We talked for a while and basically he explained that he never had an official title with Beth. They were very close but he basically just used her to pass time because he had nothing better to do. He said he loved her because that's what she wanted to hear and he treated her like a partner without ever having any real feelings for her. He knew as soon as he met me that he wanted me but didn't want to hurt her so he just kind of pushed her to the side but kept her in the picture. I felt so sad for her. He used her. He led her on. He treated her like an object and then threw her to the side when he met me.I asked why he lied about having a threesome. He said he felt ashamed Apparently they started to do it and then he chickened out so he didn't really count it. That made sense to me. I was pissed that he lied but at least it made sense. Next I asked why he told me Beth and Jen were just friends instead of being honest about the relationship. He said he never had feelings for either and they never had the official title so he didn't think it was important and he did not want to scare me off. I explained to him that although I understand why he lied to me, I didn't forgive him. I warned him that I would not tolerate anymore lies and obviously for the time being I did not trust him. I told him I wouldn't break up with him but if I found out he lied again, he would lose me. I also told him I considered what he did as cheating since he was seeing us at the same time after him and I became mutually exclusive. After we concluded our conversation about Beth and Jen, I started thinking about molly and the messages I had seen. I asked him what their relationship was, he said just friends. I freaked and told him to give me his phone. I found their old messages and told him to read them. "Hey goofball, you awake? Well if you're not I have something impossible to say to you. You are my sun, my moon, and all my stars. I love you lots and want you to know that no matter what happens I will always care about you. To me you are perfect. Amazing. And attractive asf. You are also very sweet and caring and adorable. Don't think about the negative things about yourself that will drag you down. You are way more than that. This is an official goodnight and I love you goofball." This is just one of the MANY messages sent back and forward. He reads the conversation and just goes oh. He then says he didn't remember any of that happening. We began to argue and the story he tried to spin was that his life must have been so traumatic that his brain literally deleted his past memories and replaced them with false memories where he didn't do these things that he is ashamed of. He got caught in lies and after so long was just like...whoa I did that? I had no idea I didn't remember. Technically I didn't lie because I told what I thought the truth was the way I remembered it. I told him I wanted to break up and he cried and begged me to forgive him and stay. I listened.i tried to move on and make things normal again but I couldn't stop thinking about all the lies and what else he might have been lying about. Then randomly one day, Molly added me back on social media. She was the last and took over 1.5 months so honestly I figured I'd never get ahold of her. I was genuinely surprised to see her show up on my friend list and reached out. Once again back story, he told me that she lived in Wisconin and they had never met. He said he was also using her for nudes and to pass time, same way he used Beth. He had told me that he removed her off social media months before him and I even met and aside from that one night she reached out, he hadn't heard from her in forever. I found out from her that she did not live in Wisconsin, she lived in the same state as us That to her, they were definitely dating and in love. I also saw a messaged saved on snapchat where he had been texting her in October (after we met) and even sent her the same pickup lines he had sent me. he had cheated with not just one, but two (at least that I know of) other girls.
At this point I had been broken so bad I didn't even feel the pain anymore. I just went numb. I had no more tears left to cry and couldn't be bothered to care anymore. I stopped eating and taking care of myself. I just went to work, came home, slept and repeated. I had watched the man that I loved and adored, one that made me feel so safe and happy turn into a monster right in front of me. He wasn't him anymore. I finally could see him for who he was. But I still didn't leave. He told me that he had only ever slept with three girls. I later found out it was actually six. He told me he had never been in love before. I later found out he tells basically every girl he's ever talked to that he loves them AND genuinely was in love with his ex before me. He told me after his ex and him broke up, he had a rebound but he only hooked up with her once before ghosting her. I found out they actually dated for several weeks, hooked up several times, and she had taken cute couple pictures with him and posted them on social media. He said that he never wanted to take those pictures, she made him put his Hands on her and pose and if he didn't cooperate, she would throw a tantrum like a child. One last thing I think that is important to mention,when we went on our first date, I told him I don't do hookups. We stayed out late and hit it off really well so I offered for him to stay the night at my place. I said I was okay with cuddling and whatever but I did not want to have sex. He seemed okay with it. I went to bed and then when I woke up, my pants were off and he was inside me. He claimed he didn't know I was asleep and thought I wanted it because apparently my butt kept rubbing against him while we were spooning.
It's been about a month since all that and I'm still just meh. I haven't exactly forgiven him but I also don't hate him. Things are normal. I act normal we still do couple things. But I can't help but wonder if he is just using me the same way he used them. I mean after all, he lives in my apartment rent free and asked me to buy him a truck for his birthday. He says I should forgive him because he genuinely doesn't remember doing these things and he didn't mean to lie to me. He said he's so ashamed of who he was but isn't like that anymore. He doesn't associate with who he was and wants to be given a chance to show that he is different. But can I ever forgive him? Should I? Where do I go from here? I feel so lost and confused. I dont think I'll ever be able to trust his word again. I dont feel secure. He broke me so bad I can't even feel anymore. Am I crazy and somehow making this a bigger deal than it is? Can I ever have the man I fell in love with back? I'm sorry if this was confusing. I'm typing this all out in one sitting. Please help me because I genuinely am so lost and I don't want to tell any friends because I don't want them to hate him.
TLDR: My boyfriend cheated on me with at least two other girls that I know of at the moment and has lied to me about too many things to count. His argument is that It doesn't actually count as cheating because he technically didn't date these people and he didn't remember doing it.

Taking my partner and children up to Northern Michigan for a week. I have the kids situated but am looking for a sizable tent to fit a queen size cot and air mattress and enough room to lounge outside of the bed in case of inclement weather, relax, “glamp.” Basically a small bedroom/hotel room. I’d prefer a bathtub bottom to avoid any moisture issues and perhaps a canopy on the front for shoe removal, etc. any direction is appreciated.