I have struggled with losing weight for so long. I used to walk at least 10k steps everyday and workout regularly for 3-4 months straight and the most I lost was 6-7 lbs and then when I fell sick, I quit walking and going to the gym and I gained 20 lbs.
I hate myself for being fat. It's such a struggle. I have to keep thinking about food and working out constantly that I can't do the things that I really like. So when I felt sick, I quit caring about diet and working out. I just watched movies, played video games and ate junk food.
Every day I tell myself that tomorrow I'll change my life and take it in a positive direction but I feel like a failure at every step. Last night, I was sleepy and didn't feel like cooking so I told myself that I would cook when I wake up. But I woke up late, so now I have to eat at Subway.

Me (25f) and my boyfriend (30m) have been together for roughly 2.5 years and distance from the very start. Since then we've managed to see each other rougly every 6 weeks but with both our financial situations being not great (I'm a full time student and we live in separate countries) it's generally hard to predict when we will be able to see each other, we very often say goodbye without a date for another meeting. At the moment I know we will be seeing each other in 3 weeks, then after 2.5 months apart we will be living together for 4 months roughly, during my semester abroad which he is joining me for. After that, we don't know when we will close the gap, but at some point after I graduate I guess, is the rough plan.
I've been struggling with my mental health, mostly with depression I guess, since before we met, and it's had a toll on the relationship. Conversely, the relationship has also had a toll on my mental health. Not being able to see each other, saying goodbye without knowing when we will see each other next, to him it isn't a big deal but to me it leaves me in bits for days after every meeting we have and I tend to pick fights while we're together because of the impending feeling of missing him and feeling bothered that he is so much more chill about this.
What makes it so much worse for me is the fact that my boyfriend isn't a caller, and I need calls to feel close. I've asked him many times to call me more often (in some kinder and in some decisively unkind ways, I'll admit), and his reply is that he doesn't think of it because it isn't his natural inclination (he doesn't like calls with anybody and is very introverted) but he will try, and basically that I should lower my expectations and be grateful for what we have, which is constant communication through text and sending each other things on instagram. It's true that we have very regular communication, we talk throughout everyday, say good morning and goodnight without fail, but for me this just isn't enough to feel the relationship closeness. He doesn't get it, and every time he says he would try, most of the time, he doesn't call me anyway. I'm always the one to initiate the calls, and every once in a while he will suggest a movie night or a study session over video call together but it's rare. He says that as it's something that is important to me and not him, I should be the one to make sure it happens.
The past couple of months have been particularly rough for me and I've been struggling a lot in the past weeks. I've been extremely depressed and having a really hard time coping, and I don't think he even realises just how hard it has been despite me telling him. Usually I'm not exactly happy to always be the one initiating calls but these days it's hard for me to even do that. I really am not well at all, and I wish he would be more supportive in this sense. We talked about it again today and he said he would try, but I don't trust that he will because it's the exact same thing he has always said and never done.
He is a lovely, caring and attentive person most of the time and I have no doubt that he loves me, but this aspect of our relationship is a real struggle for me and is making me feel worse in an already tough time. I've been crying almost every day for weeks and I wish I just had my boyfriend call sometimes just to have a short chat without me asking him to - I know it isn't his responsibility to take care of my mental health, but it would really make a small but significant difference to how I feel. I know you need to pick your battles in a relationship, but I fear letting go of this one will leave me in a place of feeling perpetually unhappy/unsupported for the rest of our long distance duration. I don't want to break up with him, but the fact is that right now the nature of the relationship is a rather large contributor to my poor mental state.
I'm not really sure how to approach this situation any longer, because I'm stuck between understanding that he simply doesn't enjoy calls and won't naturally do something he doesn't generally enjoy, but also being convinced that if your partner impresses upon you that something is important to them you should make an effort to do that thing, within reason (which I feel this is). I also feel guilty of asking him for more on the basis of helping my mental health as, as I said, it's not his responsibility, but again, the distance does make it harder to cope when you're already struggling.
Sidenote: I'm not currently in therapy but will be starting in a month or so.

I am 14, and as a kid, in this day and age, one usually has nothing to do. I go to the gym about 4 times a week, but god, since my rest days are on the weekends (gym is closed on Friday) I genuinely have nothing to do. Seriously, all I do besides working out is just rot in my bed with a phone in my hand, or give in to my sexual desires (which I despise, very much). I don’t like living like this, I’ve always wanted to get a job since that gives meaning into someone’s life, but no, since I am just a child, I am stuck in school which doesn’t even teach us anything useful unfortunately. However, I am not complaining, for school is the only social activity I get nowadays. But weekends exist, and with weekends come misfortune. On the weekends I typically just stay at home all day doing absolutely nothing but again, just scroll endlessly on my phone which I hate very much. I cannot go outside alone due to my parents’ wishes, plus, I live in an Arabic country. so no nature or grass anywhere here… and to top it all off, I’m in a place with just buildings and roads… I genuinely just want something meaningful man, when I’m back from school, on a rest day atleast, I’m alone. Parents are working, siblings are at college, and here I am. At home, with genuinely nothing to do, and it drives me insane. And on the weekends (when my family is actually at home) my sisters just bond together, they wouldn’t want me to be there since we share completely different interests, and they are much older than I am (19 and 23). My father is a hard working man no doubt, but on the weekends he just plays video games. its pretty hard to talk to a man when he’s just on the screen, so I can’t exactly bond much like that. My mother is usually in her room, talking to people over the phone, or just on social media. My family has given into the device-lifestyle hard, and the truth is, I just want to go outside more, spend time with my family and the ones I love, I don’t have a girlfriend or any female friends in general (I am in an all-male school, my gym is also full of men and I don’t go outside enough to find women anywhere else). I have friends, a good amount in fact, but outside of school I am a lone man. I only go out with my friends every couple of weeks (if you exclude the gym with me and my friend). I just want a real hobby, something meaningful I can do all day instead of be a loser indoors with no purpose. They say your teenage years are the best in your life, but are they? I’d really just prefer to a grown man, with a job, responsibilities, meaningful futures, a partner, children, and a home surrounded in nature… but what do I know? I am just a kid after all. I am sorry for this long post, but please help me out in the comments in any way possible.

I’ve been looking for some more detailed info on cerato taming if anyone can provide some incite. I watched a few videos and I understand the basic concept, but I’m wondering about details such as how many hemogoblin cocktails I would need for a max level, how long it would take without kibble, & how much health & armor you used to tame.
I’m in a 2 man tribe and we don’t have a lot of tames yet, nor do we have any extraordinary kibble made. We also don’t have a lot of tames and I don’t really want to risk sacrificing one just to experiment. The highest health tames we have are our ankies, & we have a blueprint for MC saddle but it’s only 71 armor.

I (19 year old they/them) was in a relationship with a guy we'll call Daniel (18 year old male). We were pretty popular in a tiny community and soon started dating. Our relationship was very public. We did livestreams together, videos together, content together, basically everything together. After four to five months together, he became emotionally @busive. Calling me hurtful things and threatening my friends with harm and their lives because they didn't "respect" him. He would tell me that he hated me and then the next day would blame mental illness for what he said. At some point, I decided to break up with him because it wasn't healthy for me.
Word about our breakup started to spread. At first, I didn't want to make a statement, to move on and do my own thing. But I soon realized that wasn't the case. People would constantly ask me what happened and soon his fans were reaching out to me, saying I missed out on a good man. That's when I decided to make a response. The video was 3 minutes long at most, with screenshots of not only the hateful things he said to me, but screenshots from others the the community about his uncomfortable behavior around them.
The video blew up in our community and many people showed their support to me. Many were thankful that the video was not made to mass cancel or attack on Daniel, but to raise awareness of how he treats people in the community. He however, did not like it one bit. Many of the people who supported him unfollowed him so he decided to make a response.
In his response, which was 7 minutes long, he talks about how I was this crazy person who took one instance where he was upset and mad at me and dramatized it (though I provided multiple different times where he was mad in screenshots). He also told people I was bipolar (which I am not, I only have ADHD), And that I was never a victim and that he was. That didn't go well and many people turned against him after that video was made. Not only that, I am dating one of his old fans with a healthy and happy open relationship. Me and him have been together for close to 8 months. Daniel said that I was a horrible person for this so, AITA?

[To view the original post, click here]
If you’re a musician, then you’re a spiritual person.
You may call yourself an atheist…. or an agnostic…. or Frank, whatever you prefer.
But you’re a spiritual person nonetheless.
Because according to the definition that I just made up in my head as I typed this, spirituality is anything that aspires towards the truth.
Now, you may say this isn’t your goal. You may even be openly running away from problems in your own life. You may even believe that life is inherently meaningless or absurd.
But in music, I am certain you are seeking the truth.
Even you, my jaded friends, the very fact that you’re reading this post is because somewhere in you……….the ember of belief still burns.****
(***Just a heads up, if you aren’t resonating at this point, this will be a very uncomfortable read for you…)
“Now Michael, how do you know I’m seeking the truth? You’re just a man I don’t really know very well…”
I know because I feel the exact same way when I make music.
But the moment the recording light on my phone starts blinking (is that a thing?), whatever truth I aspire towards slips through my fingers.***
(****For those not picking up on this vibe, really appreciate you giving it a shot but this Substack is probably just gonna be more of this… so thanks for coming out!)
--------------------------------------------------------
The other day, I tried to film a YouTube video.
I was gonna talk about music business news and give my thoughts, and in my head, it was beautiful.
I was funny but serious. Authoritative, but also kinda in on the joke. Post-ironic and good spirited.
Me and Preston (who lived in the podcast studio for a brief period of time to get this label off the ground🫡) set up the cameras and got the set looking nice.
I was going to talk about the Universal Music and TikTok dispute. I had some hot takes I wanted to share, and I was ready to spit some facts.
I figured a series talking about music business would be a cool way to align my interest in business with my passion for music. Our parent company (long live the mothership, Mastering.com ⚔️) has a large following on YouTube, so they offered to help me launch the new series.
Preston (🫡 ) printed the earnings reports and had them on my sick looking executive desk (actually $40 on FB marketplace). I even bought those swinging clackers (or Newton’s cradle for chumps) to make my desk look extra slick.
I turned to Preston, and said “let’s rock and roll” or something like that.
Preston hit RECORD.
I took off at a casual but lively gate. I hit a well timed planned joke early and I was hand-gesturing at a steady clip.
I had prepared what I would say a few times in my head… but pretty quickly I started having a hard time stitching the ideas together.
A stumble, a recovery…….. a joke, a nervous laugh! ….a thought about the nervous laugh, a thought about the thought about the nervous laugh….blank…..blank……. darkness……
And before I knew it, whatever truth I was about to bear down on the world evaporated above me.
After about 5 minutes, like a car steaming from the hood, I pulled the show over to the side of the road and shut her down.
I turned to Preston (🫡) and said “oh my gosh this is boring as sh**”.
I was like Walter Cronkite without the believability, charm, or dashing good looks… I had all the pizzaz of an (unsalted) Saltine cracker.
Anyways it was very bad, and I knew it.
And not in the self-pity way… it just clearly wasn’t my thing. I have an interview podcast which felt pretty natural from Day 1, but for some reason when I’m talking to the camera I couldn’t relax.
I knew it would be very bad for a while until I improved.
Now…. I believed I could get good at it if I just put in the time and the effort. But “being good on camera” was never something I wanted to get good at.
I just wanted to be myself and share (what I hoped) was the truth.
I turned to Preston (🫡 )and I said:
“This was a failure, I must go home now.”
A man of my word, I went home and I told my wife what happened, to which she replied:
“yeah I could’ve told you that you would’ve hated filming a YouTube video.”
She was right. She’s always right. And I mean that sincerely.
--------------------------------------------------------
After the sharp sting of a failure wore off, I re-examined how I could promote Mad Records in a way that aligned my interest in business with my passion for music (my original goal with the YouTube video.)
And that night, I started this Substack.
I talked about the UMG / TikTok dispute, and it felt really natural. I was able to write freely, make edits, take breaks, and strive for the truth. I even got to hang out with my sweet 12-year old Maltese queen, Katie, while I wrote it. What a joy.
(You can check out that post here after you finish this!)
And unlike my crushed YouTube aspirations, my article turned out pretty ok - which was a good enough starting point for me.
SO WHAT’S THE POINT?
If you feel like your “content” isn’t capturing the deep, spiritual truth you’re aspiring for with your music, then you have two options:

1. Give yourself the time to improve. Be patient and expect no results in the meantime. If results happen, then congrats, you’re now good at that thing.
2. Give yourself grace for falling short of your vision, and find a different medium/method that captures it. Nurse your wounds with people who understand what you’re trying to accomplish.

There is always a way to share your creative vision in a way that aligns with your values.
You just have to build up a pain tolerance for failing publicly.
However, for the love of all things holy, please subscribe to this SubStack…. I can’t fail again I have plans this weekend.)
Long Live Mad Records ⚔️

• mike

Title: Silent Symphony
INT. BOARDROOM - DAY
SETTING: A sleek, modern boardroom with a large glass table at the center. Framed posters of the company's past audio products line the walls. A large screen at the front displays sales graphs and customer demographics.
CHARACTERS:

1. JACKSON - CEO, early 50s, sharp and decisive.
2. LUCY - Chief Marketing Officer, mid-40s, insightful and creative.
3. TOM - Head of Product Development, late 30s, tech-savvy and innovative.
4. EMMA - Chief Financial Officer, early 40s, analytical and detail-oriented.
5. RACHEL - Customer Insights Analyst, late 20s, data-driven and perceptive.

INT. BOARDROOM - DAY
The executives are seated around the table. JACKSON stands by the screen, looking at the latest customer insights.
JACKSON Alright team, let's dive into this quarter's sales report. Rachel, what can you tell us?
RACHEL (clicking through slides) Our home AV equipment sales have seen a significant uptick, especially among customers aged 30 to 45. However, we've noticed a strange trend—many of these customers also report decreased usage after purchase.
LUCY Any idea why that might be happening?
RACHEL (nodding) We've done some follow-up surveys. Turns out, a lot of these customers are parents with young children. They're buying top-of-the-line AV systems, but then they can't use them because of noise concerns.
EMMA So they have the equipment, but can't enjoy it due to family constraints. Interesting.
TOM Sounds like a classic case of unmet needs. What if we develop a product to bridge that gap?
JACKSON You mean like more family-friendly AV setups?
TOM (shaking his head) Not exactly. What if we shift our focus to high-quality, wireless headphones? Something that lets parents enjoy their AV systems without disturbing the kids.
LUCY Wireless headphones with the same premium audio quality as our home systems. It could be a game-changer.
JACKSON Rachel, do we have data to support this shift?
RACHEL (nodding and clicking to a new slide) Absolutely. Our surveys show a strong interest in premium wireless headphones, especially from our existing customers. They trust our brand and would be keen on a solution that fits their new lifestyle.
EMMA From a financial perspective, it's viable. We already have the core audio technology. The investment would mainly be in the wireless components and design.
JACKSON (thoughtful) Alright, let's flesh this out. Tom, start on the technical feasibility. Lucy, I want a marketing plan that targets these parents. Emma, work on the financial projections. Rachel, keep gathering customer insights.
LUCY We should emphasize seamless integration with our existing AV systems. A complete, uninterrupted experience.
TOM And comfort. Parents will likely be wearing these for extended periods. We need them to be top-notch in both sound and comfort.
EMMA And let's not forget battery life. Long-lasting power for those late-night movie sessions.
JACKSON (smiling) Looks like we have a plan. Let's make it happen, team. We’re going to bring the cinema experience to their ears, without waking the kids.
The team nods, energized by the new direction.
FADE OUT.
INT. BOARDROOM - MONTHS LATER
SETTING: The same boardroom, now filled with prototypes of sleek, modern wireless headphones. The screen shows a promotional video of the headphones in use.
JACKSON Alright, team. Let's see what we've got.
LUCY (pressing play on the video) Introducing the Symphony Wireless Headphones. Engineered for exceptional audio quality, designed for ultimate comfort, and perfect for parents who refuse to compromise.
TOM These headphones feature our signature sound quality, advanced noise-canceling technology, and a 30-hour battery life.
EMMA Financials are solid. Projected sales are strong, and our existing customer base is eager to purchase.
RACHEL Feedback from our focus groups has been overwhelmingly positive. Parents love the integration with our AV systems and the ability to use them without disturbing their children.
JACKSON (nodding, pleased) Well done, everyone. Let's launch the Symphony Wireless and give our customers the best of both worlds. Quiet for the kids, symphony for the parents.
FADE OUT.
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
SETTING: A cozy, modern living room. A young parent sits on the couch, wearing the Symphony Wireless Headphones, watching a movie on a high-end AV system. A baby sleeps peacefully in a nearby crib.
NARRATOR (V.O.) Introducing Symphony Wireless Headphones. Experience your home audio like never before, without waking the little ones.
The parent smiles, completely immersed in the movie.
FADE TO BLACK.
TEXT ON SCREEN:
"Symphony Wireless Headphones - Where Silence Meets Symphony"
FADE OUT.
THE END

Long post :( thank you for reading in advance.
I just graduated from Carnegie Mellon University, at a branch campus in Qatar. I'm an international student from Vancouver, Canada. The education between the Qatar and Pittsburgh campuses are pretty much identical and In the end, I carry a CMU degree, but while most main campus students get the chance to get high-level internships and carry some serious networking leverage, I didn't really get that. Qatar has a very small software engineering scene comprised of either government (e.g. hospitals, ministry of transportation), research/academic institution(s), or startups (some successful, most not). If you're a good student, it's not hard to get into one of the good positions through a professor or alumni, since almost everyone knows each other. But positions don't carry much weight, especially since I'm planning to go back to Canada. A Canadian recruiter won't recognize a local startup in Qatar.
My degree was a BSc in Information Systems, with a concentration in Data Science. I've always loved CS, but I wasn't proactive enough to switch majors early on. My cGPA (in my opinion) is subpar, hanging around 3.02. I didn't land internships. I'm relatively young, just turned 21. Up until my Junior year, I was dead set on my esports passion. I made it big early on and was a data analyst for some top teams, but over time reality set in and I backed up. Between that, and Covid, and other excuses, I didn't solidify my study disciplines.
As a non-CS person, and generally not having taken core CS courses (Distributed Systems, Security, Networks, OS, Parallel Computation, etc) + not having job experience + my low GPA, really doesn't set me up well for the job market.
Despite that, I'm ridiculously passionate about Software Engineering and ML. Even with my academic performance, I'm one of the most active people in my cohort. I've been repeatedly asked/demanded to be a course assistant for most core courses. I was infamous in my sophomore year for helping the whole class pass by tutoring them in Data Structures. I had certain Software Engineering courses where we worked with real clients. I led multiple of those, being both the Project Manager and handling all backend at the same time, and was consistently successful. In my last year, against a lot of odds, I took some 400/700 level courses in Deep Learning, even having major prereqs waived, and got A's on them.
Even in my partly delusional esports days, as an analyst, I worked on some otherwise massive Data Engineering projects on my own. I developed my own ML pipeline that would crunch hours of player footage and calculate performance metrics. I had to come up with my own custom video processing pipelines on top of CUDA. TL;DR I'm very confident in my skillset and I feel very capable. I think I definitely have the skillset and the ability to succeed in a junior SWE role.
My aspiration down the line is to work as an ML Engineer and even in Research, but I recognize that it's not easy to get to that point from where I am now. I applied to ~6 Masters programs in ML/CS/DS across Canada, and turned up with 0 offers. I'm actively planning to complete the independent "missing" CS courses as a non-degree student to raise my GPA, and study/network back on my own turf.
As another way to damage control, I'm also trying to apply for internships to gain experience I can use to get into entry level positions, and to perhaps overachieve and gain return offers. A lot of internships are locked to those who are currently studying, which I've just completed, so it narrows the job pool by a lot.
Currently, I don't know what to really market myself as. An ML Engineer who did phenomenally in a PhD tier Deep learning course? A Data Scientist, since I completed their Data Science concentration and capstone course? A Software Engineer, since I've built and shipped software and generally, SWE is the biggemore flexible umbrella that both MLE and DS fit under.
In general, I'm just not sure where to put my chips.

• Do I emphasize completing missing CS content in a Canadian university as a non-degree study in hopes of raising my grades and clearing prerequisites, so that I can increase my changes of getting into a Masters (and equivalently, getting better job security)?
• Do I work with the networking I currently have in Qatar to get entry level positions, accept the low pay and lack of prestige, and hope it can help me transfer over to the Canadian market?
• I will definitely be applying like crazy for internships/entry level positions directly in Canada. But is it looking bleak given my experience (or lack thereof)?
• As a Canadian and fresh grad, should I be applying for U.S. roles?
• How should I market myself? I'm okay with any role across SWE, MLE, DS, DE, even DA, but I can't just slap all those roles on my LinkedIn headline or CV. How are you guys handling your role-invariant job search.
• Any advice?

Greetings. So I am hopefully moving from a Suzuki SV650 (naked) to a Kawasaki Ninja ZX-10R.
I could use a bit of advise in regards to extras and stuff.
On my SV650 I have a back hard case for the helmet or groceries or anything else. It is mighty fine convenient and unsightly horrible godaweful looking.
I also purchased and installed myself a video and sound capture system with front and rear view cameras that costed me about 50€. Sound stopped recording after few trips, but the video recording with the dual cameras was amazing and I really loved it.
I will not be adding any bags to the new sport bike, it will be for riding and not for touring long treks. But I am looking for a fixed bullet camera system and a GPS tracker.
After much perusing on Web articles, amazon and aliexpress I find that what I am aiming for is not easy to get which is: 2k resolution At least 3 hours recording with easy to swap sd-card (or mini sd). Waterproof tiny bullet camera's . No LCD. Image stability is not a real requisite. It is the ride experience I want to capture and not the scenery.
Everything is either one camera only (or for mounted brackets or helmet), like the 360 cameras. I highly dislike the jerky arm of the mount and the sticking like an alien parasite look those cameras give to the bike.
I've honestly though about building the whole recording set piece by piece by myself. But I'd end up on 600-1000€ in mats and time by my estimations.
Also I have no experience with stealthy GPS trackers. So any advise would be highly appreciated. Which type to get, advantages and disadvantages. Theft insurance?
Best regards, safe and fun rides!

Supposedly it'd always been this way, stretching way back to when my Grandpa opened this place almost 97 years ago. I inherited it when he passed a decade or so ago given that my father didn't want anything to do with the place, and since then I've made sure to diligently follow his final wish.
He might've left me the theater, but there was one condition. Not that it'd be enforceable if I went against his wish - more about that later - but the condition was present nonetheless.
Never, ever let the film stop running in Screen 6.
Now, I'd practically grown up in that theater given it was a nice little hang-out spot after closing time - but I never knew anything about the existence of a sixth screen. It had always been five. Grandpa left that sentence and a little picture guide to find the controls for that screen as well as the security footage system for it. He also left a letter, only to be opened once I had been running the theatre for long enough to understand the importance of Screen 6. It baffled me at the time, but I kept that wish too and tucked the letter away. He never told me where to find the screen itself, either. The first thing I did was check the cameras, only to find they showed nothing of interest. No movie-goers were present in this secret little screen, nor were any employees. The black and white footage from the vantage point of a camera positioned above the screen of a silent, empty room filled with rows and rows and endless rows of dusty chairs stared back at me. Somehow it was larger than all of our other screens. After unlocking the neat little contraption he described, I realised the system for that screen was digital. "Huh, strange" I mumbled given the fact our theater was always quite proud of being the only film-only establishment in town.
I suppose digital files make running the screen endlessly an easier task. Something jumped out at me, though. The digital file being used to loop over and over was just that, a singular file. It wasn't cycling through a library of movies. The same one was playing over. And over. The file name?
"sacrifice.mxf"
I've always been a curious person, and part of me wanted to resist. Some instinct was screaming at me to stop. But I couldn't. I had to take a glimpse at the little outdated screen synced up to the projector. It was grainy and degraded, footage that looked like it had been shot in the mid-20th century or so. A group of men dressed in black and women dressed in white circled a tree with interlocked hands. They looked like they were speaking. Maybe singing. Regardless, there was no audio. They went round and round this great old tree for what felt like forever, before stopping in their tracks and just standing there for a minute or two. The footage cut an unspecified amount of time forward to reveal their black and white garments blowing in the wind as they hung from various branches of the tree. All of them. It didn't matter that there wasn't any audio, I could feel the silence seeping out of that screen.
Cut to black.
Part of me was horrified, and another part retained some morbid sense of fascination with what I'd seen. I wasn't planning on going against Grandpa's wishes anyway, but at least I'd seen something that spooked me enough to justify the strangeness of it all. Was that the entire film that had been playing over and over for god knows how long? How was such a massive auditorium just hidden away somewhere? What the fuck was that video?
I needed to find out. God, I wish I hadn't. But I did.
The next few weeks were spent meticulously researching everything I could possibly find about our little family-owned theater. My little theater. I spent hours on end in that projector room trying to make sense of what was being played. The footage described above wasn't alone but remained similar to the others I've since seen. All feature large groups of people in what looks like pre-war Europe. 1930 or so is my best guess. They start off peaceful enough, almost joyous, but I've learned by now to reject the faux happiness depicted. It grabs a hold of you before the violent sacrifices that soon follow rip your heart out. Sometimes I wonder about the people shown. There are so many of them across the different short films, probably more than I've known in my entire lifetime. All of them met such a gruesome end. It might sound easy to throw away their collective existence as mere pixels on a screen, but I can't.
The local newspaper allowed me access to their archive to find out a little more, and things began to tie themselves together. I had to sift through cardboard box after cardboard box to find what I'd been looking for, but I eventually did. Back in 1931, there had been an awful incident at our theater. At the time it was owned by Grandpa, and things were looking up given it was the only establishment of its kind in town - unfortunately something terrible was to happen soon. It was a cool October evening when local police were alerted to a disturbance down at the movie theater by terrified patrons. You see, back then there was a screen 6. Nestled right next to screen 5, it was the focal selling point as a state-of-the-art screen showing only the finest films. Those in screen 5 began to realise something was badly wrong when the sound of an incessantly crying and screaming child began to drown out the more pleasant sound of their film. "The Talkies", as films with spoken audio were known in their 1930s heyday, were a phenomenon and it took a lot to distract those in screen 5 from their entertainment. The child screamed for as long as it could until annoyance turned to worry and eventually fear.
By the time police swung open the double doors to Screen 6, the leather white seats were soaked in crimson red blood and the patrons inside had long since taken their last breaths.
Except one.
Still the child screamed.
I've always been open-minded when it comes to the unseen, not a believer per se, but not dismissive of the idea. Things began to come into a clearer focus. Hundreds of people had sacrificed themselves in that screen all those years ago, and now the screen is forever condemned to forever playing films of similar occurrences. The two had to be connected.
The letter.
It was time to open the letter. I was convinced I satisfied Grandpa's requirement for doing so, and it would fill in the parts of this deranged story I was missing. I slipped the letter out of its glum, off-white envelope and began to read.
"To my beloved Grandson,
By now you probably know much more about the story of our little theater than you did when I left it to you. I'm sorry it took until we were separated for you to learn the truth, but it was something that had to be done. Those people that are in the films playing on Screen 6 were part of an ancient cult. The Men of Mephistopheles they called themselves. They would live in communes and the peaceful images you've come to see are of their day-to-day lives, and as you have also come to see they would eventually offer themselves en masse in blood sacrifices. One of these sacrifices happened to take place in Screen 6 of our theater, and once again I'm sure you have come to learn of this given you are reading this letter.
The locations in which these sacrifices take place are forever bound to the souls lost there in some form or another. To illustrate, that great big tree in one of the films is now the site of countless suicides. Their crime? Daring to walk where the Men of Mephistopheles once walked, and where they left this Earth. Our particular curse happens to be that Screen 6 began to be the site of similar suicides, and so did our other screens. We could never figure out why they weren't contained to the immediate site of the original sacrifice, but needed to find a way to stop them. Times were tough, and the money the theater brought in was important to all of our lives. An occultist suggested the endless film screening as a way to stem the flow whilst we found a more permanent solution, but before long we realised it stopped the awful goings-on entirely. So we let the films play and then play some more. Screen 6 had originally been downstairs since the building only allowed for that kind of space down there, so we turned it into a tomb. Maybe the misguided souls lost there found some peace in the dusty catacomb of a theater left behind.
Now if you know the story of the sacrifice at our theater, you know there was a singular child who survived it all.
That child?
Your father.
I'm so sorry for keeping the truth locked away from you the way I did, you deserved to know whilst I was still there with you. Please know I only ever had your best interests at heart.
I love you always,
Poppy"
It's been a few weeks since I found out the truth about our small-town theater. Sleeping has been difficult because of the endless nightmares, as has bothering to keep up maintenance of the place.
Still, though, the film on Screen 6 plays.

I am trying out a new style that used gifs with transparency, but there are sporadic frames where there it is displaying 2 frames at once causing an ugly overlap. This issue changes frame every time I play it back. Is there any know issue with using transparent gifs?
https://preview.redd.it/6xfg04mups1d1.png?width=1863&format=png&auto=webp&s=694a57c2555b1712ed51eb407d5f3ea866ab7b99
https://preview.redd.it/u6ntldmups1d1.png?width=1909&format=png&auto=webp&s=bc8d13d5b3c7c3b100339ff2ddc4ebb32808359e
I have attached some references to see what I mean. I made this gif in Aseprite so I know there frames aren't out of order or rendered poorly

This may be a stretch of saying my “whole bloodline” but as I look deeper in what I’m being told of the past of my relatives I’m the only odd one out of my own bloodline.
(long read)
So recently I’ve been trying to learn more about my family, but in other words it’s been total shit learning about them, and I’m heavily disappointed with them. The reason I post this here is due to my parents forcing beliefs in everything we do together. Even claiming that the devil has my soul, all for just not trying to be like my parents. Their antics come from a White Supremacy background, along with promoting slavery, killing members of the LGBTQ+ community and even harming me for myself.
The point of saying the bloodline is due to my family buying my 8-12 year old cousins the confederate flag as a blanket to sleep on, they only care about their heritage than wellbeing with those kids as I believe to have seen their father doing… unspeakable acts towards them, and DCS Is so shit here that I’ve been in touch with them for nearly 5 years for this shit for nobody to help me.
Continuing what I said, they hardly feed their own children and so does my sister and brother in law. They almost got disowned from the family and divorced due to my sister having a miscarriage of a third baby, she could have died if she didn’t have a miscarriage and the baby inside had no heartbeat. My parents and the rest shunned my sister for it until she started going to church with her 2 year old nephew and 7 month old niece, and then they forgave her for being at church and “accepting god.”
It only gets way worse, my whole family keep trying to push their religion around every corner. They are still trying to get me baptized without my consent and I am almost 18 years old. They even have the nerve to tell me that it’s the “right” way of life, and without it then the world doesn’t exist.
I believe I posted both my videos here twice, (previous post,) they do harass me about religion and even harm each other for their beliefs. This goes with the rest of my family as yesterday of posting this, my mom shunned me for not being a leader as I was born from two leaders in their line of works. The way my mom said, “Others do your own work,” and, “kick the em out if they don’t want to do what you say,” it sounded very bad and fully encouraging it.
The worst thing about my family is how when I mentioned my “girlfriend” they are more excited about us having kids than us being together. We’re both not 18 yet and my whole family nods at us having kids at this point in life.
Maybe some advice is appreciated but I’m not sure what I can do to avoid this. Their rules prohibit me from dating anyone that is black or any color that isn’t white, has shaved hair or piercing, tattoos or hair. It’s awful, and I make this post to bring some light on my side of things.
(Links to vids)
https://www.reddit.com/exchristian/s/greOznQXb9
https://www.reddit.com/exchristian/s/ygZFfk2M8M

this video is 38:53 long cause you know story telling
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLCZUAlCly0&ab_channel=MrBallen

Just in the office this morning and wouldn’t mind some people to chat with.
My discord has been kinda slow lately and needs to be cleaned out and filled with some new peeps to talk to.
I don’t have many requirements except that you’re talkative. I don’t like dry conversations any more than Anakin Skywalker likes sand.
Me: Plays golf horribly, enjoys spicy food, long walks on the beach, video games and has a slight problem buying books when I already have stuff to read.
Massively dislikes spiders and aggressive hornets but otherwise likes animals, especially frogs and my cat who is a Royal pain in my ass.
I like fantasy of varying sorts, spooky stuff and cold weather, sweet tea, thinking about what I’d do if I won the lottery, and wishing I didn’t have a fear of flying. Hates radishes but likes water chestnuts even though they’re basically the same thing.
I like lame jokes and geeking out about nonsense. Let’s talk about our hopes and dreams for the future.
just looking for people who match my vibe. If you think that’s you then shoot me a message with a little about yourself!