Prxy unblockable for college

I need to start alerting this will be a long post, also english is not my first language so please forgive any typos, always trying to improve.
Alright, this is a long story. It all started in december of 2021, i was 17 (female]), i was doing some exams and my mom was in a child's party of her nephew's son. This nephew (my cousin duh), who i will call T, have a long term friend, E. The thing is, E has a son, who we will be calling Rat (because that's what he is), 18 years old. Rat and i knew each other from childhood, when we were 9, he even asked me to be his girlfriend, but we lost contact after that and both pretty much forgot the existence of one another. But my mom, in this party, decided to chat with E and Rat, and talked about me to Rat, who remembered me and got interested. He started to follow me on insta and we start to chat on whatsapp.
After only a few days talking, we decded to go out with a bunch of his friends, and in that night we kissed. After that, everything moved on really fast, we talked non-stop all day. 12 days after the kiss, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Yes, i know, i was stupid to accept it, but i was a naive girl, i did not have proper teen years because of the pandemic, and this with the "childhood boyfriend appears again" narrative, it was set for disaster since the start.
We started dating, the first month was magical, i am from the southern hemisphere, here january means vacation on the beach, and we spent a week together there. I lost my v-card with him in the beach also. It was good, his family was a bit weird, but i was dating him not his family right?
Things started going south after february, my birthday was in that month, he spent the party with me. Also, any oportunity we had to have sex, we did it, at first it was exciting, but after sometime, i just wanted some cuddles with my boyfriend without ending in sex, you know what i mean? But i couldn't bring myself to say it. Then the fights started. This was my first relationship, but it was Rat's 6th. Yeah big red flag that i also ignored, he also talked about all of his previous exes, everything, how they met, how the sex was, what went wrong, there was even one particular ex that he said "i think, if i hadn't been an asshole, i would still be together with her nowadays" LIKE BRO WTF???????
The fights were bad, like really bad, he would abuse my mental health to the edges, giving me silent treatment for days, texting dryly, if i met him, he would stare me with a face that it immediately made me hyperventilate. And everything resolved to me asking for forgiveness, but not only after i bawled my eyes out, harm myself (i would scratch my whole arms with my nails), and have panic attacks. He punished me like that, at least 2/3 times a month. But at the same time, every month he celebrated one more month of our relationships, posting long detailed texts about it in his stories, like really detailed, i felt exposed, our relationship had no privacy because of that. Butagain i did not feel in the right to complain, how many girls beg for one photo posted on stories? and i was receiving long texts, i shouldn't complain, right?
In the fourth month of the relationship, he was in a hurry to have sex, and tried to put it inside right away, i wasn't ready, i was still kind of dry, and the result of it was an vaginal fissure, please google about it for a proper description from a professional. It hurt like hell, it was one of the worst pains in my life, he immediatly pulled it out but the damage was done. Vaginal fissures can't fully heal, so to this day i still need to pay attention to it while having sex with my current partner. He said sorry a million times, none of us knew what was that at the time. I couldn't have sex for a month, and that got him frustated, he was trying not to show it, but it was obvious.
I will spare you all from some details in the next two months, because of the size of the text. The fights continued, and in the sixth and final month he abused me mentally through all of it, threatening with a break up. I lost 8 kg (about 17 pounds) in just 2/3 weeks, my ideal weight for my height is 60 kg (132 pouns) and i was exactly 60 kg before losing the 8 kg, so i was underweight, pale, i looked like a cadaver. Then he broke up with me for good, and i cried for days and days. After one week, he was alread posting stories going out with another girl, and i started going to the psychiatrist, who gave me two meds, an antidepressant and one for sleep. I was drugged with these two meds all the time, they were really strong, and the Rat knew that, he still kept touch with me, and he knew about the meds and my mental state.
Still knowing all of this, he still suggested to come in my house one day, when my mom wasn't around, and ww hook up. I was not in a mental state to say no, i was emotional dependent of him, full on meds, so i consented (even if my friends to this day say it was not consensual). We kept that for around 4 months, until he posted with another girl, calling her his girlfriend, and canceling the plans of coming to my house the very next day of the post. I was in shambles, i almost killed myself, i SHed myself multiple times, i wasn't sane.
I decided to stop seeing his posts, but even after starting dating this girl (Let's call her chaos, you'll understand why), he still contacted me regularly. Keep in mind this is like, already december 2022, one year after we started dating. In january 2023, i was feeling a bit back in my feet, despite he still contacting me while dating another girl. He never cheated her with me, never. In february i was accepted in the college of my dreams, he congratulated me. This college was a life changer, i became another person there, i was happier, i had new friends, i went to parties, 2023 was the best year of my life so far. He still contacted me sometimes, until like june, when i was finally fully aware of what he did to me, when he tried to contact me again, i blocked him, in everything, but i heard he was talking about me, because people told me. Reminding, he was in a relationship!!!
Ok, let's move to april 2024, i receive a dm from a girl i know, telling me the Rat asked her to say he was single again. I send her an audio with the most genuine laughter i left in YEARS. I told her i don't want any contact with him and she respected it and didn't push any further. Now, last week, may 15th, i receive an audio in whatsapp from a girl, it was an audio of the Rat, saying he wanted to see me "one last time" before going to live in another city next week. I was baffled, this girl insisted a bit, sending more audios he sent her to me. So i unblocked him, telling him to stop sending me "emissaries" to speak in his behalf, if he was blocked on everything it was for a reason. He tried to persuade me in meeting with him for "one last talk" but i refused, he said he missed me and he needed to see me one last time. I blocked him again.
Remember Chaos? That's when it clicked me, if i refused, he was probably going after her, so i found a friend me and Chaos had in common (i never spoke or met her in person before) and i asked the friend to warn her about the Rat. But Chaos wanted to chat with me, so i agreed. We started to chat, she asked some questions, apparently, she didn't know about all the times the Rat contacted me in 2023 while they were dating. She said she considers this as cheating, and i agree honestly. Anyways, that same day she discovered all of this from me, she called him for a talk in person. She exposed him about all his lies, he tried to get out lying more, but she was clever, she called him nothing more than a boy, not a man, a liar, and said he was just like his father (his father cheated on his mom and he hates his father). She left him broken, told him he was a product of a very bad sex.
But Chaos did not stopped her revenge there, she called me again, asking if i could go to a bar with her for some drinks. I agree, she wanted gossip, the two of us together, in our small town would give her that. We went to a bar, a bunch of his friends were there and saw us, eyes wide open. Not being so humble now, we are both very pretty women, i must say. We decided to drink, celebrating the rat going far away to another city. Then the rat appeared, joining his friends. We ignored him and continue driking and chatting. She is very nice, funny and a joy to talk, we talked for hours, with him staring us the whole time, he even sent a message to her saying "i hope you're having the fun you wanted so badly with this" and she laughed out loud when she read it, aswering "yeah it's amazing thanks!" And then she sent a pic of me and her, saying "consider this a farewell gift".
I was an amazing night, i felt like i was finally avenged, not only myself but all the girls that came before me and suffered in his hand. Chaos was fullfilled, he also abused her mentally, but she is a strong women and gave it back to him in the same energy, i wish i wasn't so fragile after my own break up with him, i wish i had been stronger like her, she is impressive.
Now me and her are messaging every person we know from the city he is currently moving in, talking about the abuser he is, alerting as many women as possible about him, because I don't wish it on anyone what us and many other women in my city suffered in his hands. Also i warned him if he ever tried to contact me again i will leak all of the prints of him abusing me verbally in texts, and the first person to read it all will be his mommy.
Thank you for reading this rant, i feel much lighter now, i feel free.

11-minute read.

Armenia's military industry is developing

HOST: The share of the domestic arms industry in the armed forces has been rising in recent years. The state has decided to create easier conditions for the development of the industry.
HIGH-TECH MINISTER (Mkhitar Hayrapetyan): Whatever is possible to produce in Armenia with the use of Armenian scientific potential and manufacturing capacities should be done domestically to minimize reliance on imports. The myth that Armenian producers are incapable of creating high-quality products has been shattered.
At the moment, there are ֏170 billion ($438 million) in contracts signed between the defense ministry and 27 representatives of domestic industry. We expect to bring it to ֏190 billion ($490 million) by the end of this year by involving two more companies.
Most contracts are about communication tools, control systems, radio-electronic warfare tools, drones, modernization activities, etc.
LEONID NERSISYAN (expert): It's not a secret that hefty investments were made in the manufacturing of drones. We've also seen a production of 122 mm and 82 mm shells; it's necessary to expand to 155 mm because we are purchasing new [Indian] artillery that uses those.
HIGH-TECH MINISTER: (1) The state is enacting legislative reforms to make the industry attractive for investments. (2) We are promoting R&D for new technologies and the generation of new ideas. We are financing research activities, the creation of prototypes, and their experimentation. The chain ends when a company's product passes the state experimentation process and enters serial production.
HOST: In 2018 the scientific-research budget was ֏2.4B. Today it's ֏4.1B ($10.6M), with an additional ֏1.5B dedicated for prototypes.
MHER MARKOSYAN (expert): We need more laser tech experts. The state must cherish mil. industry employees and encourage young scientists to gain experience.
HIGH-TECH MINISTER: As part of the 2024 budget, we do have a component to train and retrain industry experts. New specialists must enter this industry.
MHER MARKOSYAN: The war in Ukraine has made it more difficult to import components. Something that would normally take 1 week now requires 5 months. There are also horrible logistics problems. We do find solutions to import products but these solutions are expensive.
LEONID NERSISYAN: Even countries under the UN's embargo are able to import weapons so it's a matter of price. For example, it turns out that 70% of the electronics inside North Korean missiles are American.
HOST: Some Armenian manufacturers have reached international levels and could soon begin to export their products. However, there are logistic complications here as well. For example, in 2021 Armenia faced difficulty transporting the mockups of larger weapons to the Abu Dhabi expo [Moscow forced the jet carrying Armenian products to be unloaded and kept delaying the cargo's transfer to Abu Dhabi].
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the National Academy of Sciences has received a device that uses powerful lasers to melt metal and ceramic dust to create 3D objects for space and other industries: VIDEO

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India's Ambassador about defense cooperation between India and Armenia

AMBASSADOR: Our defense cooperation is proceeding very well. Defense cooperation is not only defense technical cooperation, but also we are looking at capacity building. On both fronts, we are proceeding very well.
REPORTER: During a joint press conference with MOD Papikyan, the Greek Minister spoke about the possibility of Armenia-Greece-France-India quadrilateral cooperation in the defense area.
AMBASSADOR: All 4 states have very good relations but at the moment it is still premature to talk about a quadrilateral format. But yes, there are convergences.
REPORTER: The Indian government said it's going to appoint Defense Attachés to Armenia and several other countries to strengthen the military links. What can you tell us about this?
AMBASSADOR: PM Modi has a very clear-cut policy and initiative of “Make in India”, including in the defense sector. We are now seeing that many countries in the world are buying Indian defense equipment. Defense Attachés are being posted to coordinate the process.

... India's Ambassador about AM-IN economic ties and trade

REPORTER: What was the volume of trade last year, and what trends are seen in the bilateral export and import markets?
AMBASSADOR: The $200 million trade we made was far below the potential. India is the Pharmacy of the World with more than 60% of the vaccines worldwide coming from India, including those supplied through the WHO and other mechanisms like GAVI. So we see more potential here. Both sides are working towards increasing the import of Indian medicines and vaccines into Armenia. We are also looking at the high-tech sector.

... India's Ambassador about Pashinyan's "Crossroads of Peace" trade unblocking project

REPORTER: The Government of Armenia proposed the “Crossroads of Peace” logistics project. There were opinions that it matches with India’s vision in the South Caucasus. What is India’s opinion on this initiative?
AMBASSADOR: When countries need to prosper, connectivity is the key. And connectivity is something that we, in our own region, have been working very closely with our neighboring countries. So similarly, we find that for any region, if you want to move to the next level of prosperity, you need to have connectivity projects. Naturally, we see this “Crossroads of Peace” project of the Armenian government in that light, that it would be a win-win situation for all the regional partners. So indeed for us there is no other way than to have more connections between countries, whether it is in terms of roads, railways, etc. We look at it positively and enthusiastically.

... India's Ambassador about international trade through Iran's Chabahar port

REPORTER: India plays an important role in the development of Chabahar port. You mentioned that the prospects of facilitating the use of Chabahar port for Armenia are being considered as well. What are those possibilities?
AMBASSADOR: The Chabahar port is jointly developed by India and Iran. In our discussions with the Armenian side, they have manifested an interest in using the Chabahar port. Armenia's Minister of Territorial Administration visited the Chabahar port in December. We are waiting for the details from the Armenian side and we will consider it once we receive concrete proposals.
REPORTER: What role can Armenia play in the development of a communication route from India to Chabahar to the Black Sea?
AMBASSADOR: This goes back to my comment about connectivity. Armenia being a landlocked country definitely needs more connectivity projects. If it materializes, I think it would help Armenia to overcome the fact that it is a landlocked country.
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experts at the European Training Foundation will assess Armenia's secondary vocational education system

The European Training Foundation is a European Union agency that helps transition and developing countries harness the potential of their human capital through the reform of education, training and labour market systems, and in the context of the EU's external relations policy.

A group of experts have arrived for the May 21-23 assessment. They will hold consultations with state agencies, students, employee unions, and others.

by 2030, 90 percent of school and college graduates should be able to find jobs and work according to employers' requirements.

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Yerevan and Paris reached an agreement to cooperate in urbanization, transport, and waste management over the next 3 years during a visit by Yerevan Mayor Avinyan to Paris

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Yerevan subway is diching Soviet-era physical zhetons (tokens) as part of transport reforms and switch to a universal payment system

OFFICIAL: We are updating a total of 49 entrance gates; it will be completed next month. You'll be able to use the old gates with tokens for now. Soon you will pay with a QR code, Telcell mobile wallet, bank cards, etc. ... last week over 15,000 passengers used the electronic payment methods.
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Yerevan municipality launches a process to move garbage containers underground

A public tender is launched to design a pilot program. In October the city said they studied the international practice for collecting the trash from underground bins and found two methods: lifting the bins to allow Yerevan's existing tech to collect the trash, or remove the bins. The latter would be more expensive.
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government launches the construction of two roads for Tavush border village Kirants: VIDEO

PASHINYAN OFFICE: The 3 remaining coordinates of Kirants were pinpointed with the use of a computer and the border posts will be installed later. The rest [another 8 posts in Kirants] are already there. The good news for Kirants is that around 25 hectares of land that have been unreachable for 33 years will be returned to the village. The border resembles the 1976 line.
As we said earlier, yes, there is a need to build a bypass road, which can be accomplished in 2-3 months. We will also rebuild the road between H-26 and Acharkut and Kirants, which is an alternative road for Kirants. As for property issues, the volumes are small and the government will compensate in such situations. //
The 3 remaining border posts were reportedly installed in Kirants on Monday. Here is how the road issue will be addressed:
Azerbaijan is located between Kirants and Sarigyugh villages. Kirants is currently connected to Sarigyugh with two roads: a direct connection through the interstate road, and a secondary road that connects Kirants to nearby Acharkut before reaching Sarigyugh.
Approximately 300 meters of the direct road falls under the Azerbaijani side, so the government will build a 750-meter bypass road parallel to it. Preliminary construction activities have begun; they are working on the details.
As for the secondary road passing through Acharkut, the government has begun rebuilding and widening it to allow cargo trucks to use it.
So there are currently two construction projects, with one connecting Kirants to Sarigyugh directly, and the second connecting Kirants to Sarigyugh through Acharkut. Both roads are expected to be ready in 3 months.
video, source, video, source, source, video,

Final battle? The opposition co-leader Bagrat Galstanyan will hold a "decisive" massive rally on May 26 to oust PM Pashinyan

GALSTANYAN: Պատմե’ք մարդկանց մայիսի 26-ի մեր հանրահավաքի մասին, այն վճռական է լինելու: //
Former mayor of Yerevan Hayk Marukyan called for Pashinyan and the ruling party to resign. "այլևս անելիք չունեն, նրանք պետք է հեռանան"
source, source,

Serj Sargsyan's HHK party co-leader is against forming an anti-Pashinyan alliance with Edmon Marukyan and Sasna Tsrer

Edmon Marutyan's LHK, Ruben Vardanyan's Aprelu Yerkir, and the Sasna Tsrer (BEVER) whose followers committed terrorists attacks on police stations in 2016 and 2024 have decided to join the ongoing anti-Pashinyan protests led by Kremlin's favorite Archbishop Bagrat Galstanyan.
HHK's Edward Sharmazanov is against forming an alliance with Edmon Marukyan's LHK because they did not actively campaign against Pashinyan's reelection in 2021.
As for Sasna Tsrer, they committed attacks on police stations and called HHK "evil", so Sharmazanov is against working with them.
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update: threats after bribes

One of the several low-income residents of Vanadzor who last week reported receiving bribes to join the former regime's ongoing anti-Pashinyan protests says someone called and threatened their family for reporting the bribe to the police. Authorities are investigating the call.
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a fight broke out between protesters and students who refused to join the "Holy Struggle" led by Archbishop Galstanyan

AUTHORITIES: On Wednesday we received reports about a fight between the students of Yerevan's Manuk Abeghyan School and protesters. The participants engaged in a fight, disturbed peace, and used slurs. Eight students (all under 18 except for one) were detained.
SCHOOL DIRECTOR: It started after a group of protesters used loudspeakers to encourage our students to join them. After realizing that students didn't want to join, they began to hurl insults at the students. Several students left the building and a fight broke out in the backyard.
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82,000 Armenian drivers take advantage of a new law that absolves them of old citation debt if they pay 50%: VIDEO

It was part of a package law that slashes the size of future traffic citations by almost half if the driver pays electronically within the first two weeks of the violation. Some 21,000 drivers have already signed up at police.am to get a discount on their future citations.
It's meant to reduce the financial burden on drivers, the paperwork burden on police, and improve the payment discipline.
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Armenian poet and 18th century TikToker Sayat-Nova's statue is unveiled in Turkmenistan during an international forum of Culture Ministers: PHOTO

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Armenia circulates gold collector coin dedicated to Charles Aznavour’s 100th anniversary: IMAGE

Obverse: monument to Charles Aznavour in Gyumri
Reverse: portrait of Charles Aznavour, the number 100 in the form of stylized musical notes, piano keys and microphone.
Minted in Poland. The coin is worth ֏10,000 ($25).
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International Criminal Court wants to arrest Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu and Defense Minister Gallant, and the Hamas leadership

PROSECUTOR: On the basis of evidence collected and examined by my Office, I have reasonable grounds to believe that Benjamin NETANYAHU, the Prime Minister of Israel, and Yoav GALLANT, the Minister of Defence of Israel, bear criminal responsibility for the following war crimes and crimes against humanity committed on the territory of the State of Palestine (in the Gaza strip) from at least 8 October 2023:
(1) Starvation of civilians as a method of warfare as a war crime
(2) Willfully causing great suffering, or serious injury to body or health
(3) Willful killing, or Murder as a war crime
(4) Intentionally directing attacks against a civilian population as a war crime
(5) Extermination and/or murder, including in the context of deaths caused by starvation, as a crime against humanity;
(6) Persecution as a crime against humanity
(7) Other inhumane acts as crimes against humanity
full statement, official video 4:57, source,

Iran's President Raisi and Foreign Minister Amirabdollahian die in a helicopter crash while returning from a meeting with Ilham Aliyev to inaugurate the opening of a new dam on the Iran-Azerbaijan border

Shortly before the crash:
RAISI: Maybe someone doesn't like our meeting and joint successes with Azerbaijan. It doesn't matter to us. The important thing is that we implement together whatever is in the best interest of our people. The enemies do not want progress in Azerbaijan and Iran, but we believe that any progress in Azerbaijan is our progress, any threat to the borders of both countries will be a loss for both countries.
ALIYEV: Today the world is witnessing how great the friendship is between Azerbaijan and Iran. We support each other in all international structures and will continue to in the future. No one can divide us. //
Memorial services will be held in Yerevan's Blue Mosque on Thursday.
source, source, source, source, source, Kremlin's conspiracists, source, source,

Azerbaijani dissident activist Arif Yunusov about Iran helicopter crash

REPORTER: Will there be radical changes in Iran after the death of Raisi?
YUNUSOV: I doubt it. The real power is in the hands of Khamenei. Now there are reports about his son [replacing him in the future]. As for the internal disturbances caused by opponents, as you know, there are periodic waves in Iran. These protests are sometimes ethnicity-based. If in the past it was Azerbaijanis, today the protests are by Kurds. There is also the youth that's tired of being ruled by religious mullahs. The death of Raisi doesn't change anything in internal or foreign policies. They will just change the President's last name.
REPORTER: I have a feeling Iran will soon blame Israel for the helicopter crash.
YUNUSOV: I have already seen that on Iranian Telegram channels but official Tehran won't rush with that. They will conduct an investigation and conclusions will be made. If Tehran blames Israel, then there must be good evidence for it because credit where credit is due - Iran usually conducts such investigations quite well. If you remember the liquidation of the father of Iran's nuclear weapons, Israel still denies participation but Iran found enough evidence that Israeli agents used the territory of Azerbaijan to infiltrate, carry out the project, and return through Azerbaijan. Let's wait and see the conclusion of the crash investigation. The accusations by Telegram channels and analysts "don't count".

... Arif Yunusov about AM-AZ border delimitation

REPORTER: Is the ongoing Tavush-Gazakh delimitation really a bilateral process, as Baku claims?
YUNUSOV: No. The U.S. is still interested in the delimitation process and influences both parties behind the curtains. There was a high-profile Azerbaijani visit to Washington. Although the official press release didn't share details, we can safely assume they discussed the AM-AZ relations. If this delimitation continues in spite of Russia that means the U.S. is currently a moderator in this process. This is not purely a bilateral process despite Aliyev's efforts to present it that way.
REPORTER: Is the U.S. a guarantor that the delimitation won't end in Tavush?
YUNUSOV: Not a "guarantor" but the U.S. is the force that is really trying to accomplish something and is actually doing something. The full demarcation will last a long time. The main objective of the U.S. at the moment is the signing of an AM-AZ peace agreement. I don't think they'll be able to sign it before November, however.
REPORTER: How is the Azerbaijani public reacting to the border delimitation?
YUNUSOV: Positively. People truly want to have a demarcated border. The Azerbaijani regime often mentioned "Western Azerbaijan" and the return of Azeris there, but in reality, nobody in Azerbaijan took that seriously because they all understood it was an attempt to pressure Armenia. As soon as information came that the border was partially delimited, it was met with a positive response by the public. The Azerbaijani public understands that it's normal for Azerbaijan to gain and lose control of territories during this process, just as we did during the delimitation with other neighbors.
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I am 24F, I met someone 6 years ago. I fell in love at first sight. He was studying at a college in my hometown then. In 2019 he graduated and left the city and moved to Bangalore. In the meantime he never confirmed if we were dating, he would say he likes me, I am his best friend and what not. He even met other women and spoke to them. But he wouldn’t like if I would talk to other men. He used to travel 29 kms to city to meet me. He would admit that he liked me. But in the end in 2019 while he was moving out, things didn’t end well. Just like that, in 2020 I got into a college in Bangalore for my Post grad, right after I graduated in 2020. Little did I know, we met again. It felt good. It was covid time going, we met in 2021 and then we spent quite a good time together. He again never admitted that he liked me or not. Finally we planned a trip a hill station near Bangalore, but he blocked me right after the trip for no reason. He would block and unblock back then at college too and it was too much efforts for me to email him to unblock me. Then, my college was ending in 2022 and I was joining job. We somehow again got in touch. But this time, he was extra nice, but then he fell sick as well. I was home for sometime post my college, before joining job. He said we will party and asked me to get JD, as alcohol is cheap at my hometown. I remember I was coming out of my tech park, and I was happy it was first day at work, I texted him to meet with the bottle, suddenly he said he is seeing someone else. He asked me 2 days back if I am coming and meeting him and in 2 days things changed.
It was traumatising. I am still not able to recover. Could he communicate things and had been more precise? So it could have avoided a lot of it?

I am 24F, I met someone 6 years ago. I fell in love at first sight. He was studying at a college in my hometown then. In 2019 he graduated and left the city and moved to Bangalore. In the meantime he never confirmed if we were dating, he would say he likes me, I am his best friend and what not. He even met other women and spoke to them. But he wouldn’t like if I would talk to other men. He used to travel 29 kms to city to meet me. He would admit that he liked me. But in the end in 2019 while he was moving out, things didn’t end well. Just like that, in 2020 I got into a college in Bangalore for my Post grad, right after I graduated in 2020. Little did I know, we met again. It felt good. It was covid time going, we met in 2021 and then we spent quite a good time together. He again never admitted that he liked me or not. Finally we planned a trip a hill station near Bangalore, but he blocked me right after the trip for no reason. He would block and unblock back then at college too and it was too much efforts for me to email him to unblock me. Then, my college was ending in 2022 and I was joining job. We somehow again got in touch. But this time, he was extra nice, but then he fell sick as well. I was home for sometime post my college, before joining job. He said we will party and asked me to get JD, as alcohol is cheap at my hometown. I remember I was coming out of my tech park, and I was happy it was first day at work, I texted him to meet with the bottle, suddenly he said he is seeing someone else. He asked me 2 days back if I am coming and meeting him and in 2 days things changed.
It was traumatising. I am still not able to recover. Could he communicate things and had been more precise? So it could have avoided a lot of it?

Long story short. Had the best relationship of my life with my ex and never had any significant issues. Never argued until the end. We broke up after college because she didn’t want to move where I got a good job(I was upset at this originally but she made the right decision) I hooked up with a mutual friend which I regret now. She then hooked up with an old fling and said that she still saw us getting back together.
She is now dating this guy and blocked me for a while after reaching out in December saying she wanted to get back with me and break up with him. She then blocked me and unblocked me just a month ago for our birthday. I think k am still unblocked but we haven’t talked really since December.
I would like to get back with her or at least be friends. We were best friends and it’s a big hole in my life to not talk to her. Moreso it suck’s not getting closure knowing she wanted to get back with me but then changed her mind didn’t tell me why and blocked me for so long. She is not a bad person so please don’t say she is a toxic person or anything like that. Genuinely the most loving person I’ve met. I guess I am just looking to see how to get closure. I don’t want to reach out to her because I feel like she would reach out if she wants to talk. Any advice would be helpful.

So my humidity indoors oscillates like grandmas fan. It swings from 47 at the end of the AC cycle to 65 by the time the AC turns back on(in a 15 min time span).
I know it’s not my AC because I’ve changed my central AC unit 3 times in a year.
Once I even shut off the central unit and put a window AC in my bedroom. Same thing.
I spoke to an AC instructor at the local college and he suggested that I have a problem with humidity entering my home.
I have no water leaks(read meter didn’t use water for 48 hours and meter was at the same reading)
I had extra insulation blown into my attic. They blocked soffit vents. I’ve tried to unblock them but could that be the issue to why the humidity in my house goes so high.
Also when cold fronts blow through and the air outside is dry my humidity levels will drop to the teens even without having heat on.
My point is that when it’s dry and cool outside my humidity levels are great. When it heats up and the humidity is high outside it’s humid inside my home too.
This just started a couple of years ago. Never noticed any of these issues before. My old central AC unit went out. Had a new one installed and within 2 weeks noticed this problem.
I’ve had a whole house dehumidifier installed but I feel like that’s just a bandage on the problem. Plus around 4-5pm the heat that the dehumidifier puts out fights with my AC and the AC is struggling to cool the house. Also at that time the humidity spikes to the low to mid 60s.
I’m in Deep South Texas if that helps. Any advice is greatly appreciated

I graduate tomorrow with my twin. I may not be a valedictorian or anything, but I’m still proud of myself for all of my hard work and perseverance throughout the years. I managed to graduate with honors: magna cum laude, and I think it’s a pretty great achievement. I will also be going to a pretty good university with a 45% acceptance rate, which I also think is a pretty good achievement. But during a time that should be about me and my twin, my family decides to feud and I keep getting screwed over.
Starting off, I just need to vent about how unfair it is for twins during graduation season. I’m about to graduate. I don’t need “congrats grad” merchandise, especially with my grad year on it. At least I can pass down the stuff without a glaring “2024” printed on the front. I can’t speak for all grads, but all I want is money to save or spend for my dorm decor. I don’t mean to sound selfish, but all I have gotten was a $5 makeup bag, 6 water bottles with some saying indicating I’m a 2024 grad on it, and some random gift card for $15 for a bunch of places that aren’t even in my local area. Like??? I get I’m a twin and paying double gets expensive, but my parents gave your child and their older sibling $50. On top of that, college tuition is not cheap. No one who isn’t a twin will never understand. I have been screwed over my entire life, and when I finally thought I was gaining independence, people go and do this.
Now to the juicy stuff: family drama!! My life is not the best, but I am grateful for the people in it that actually care for me. Then you have people like my brother, who is ten years older than me, married, has a kid that I haven’t seen in over a year, and still acts like a child. I swear he has some dominance fetish because he is always looking for people to play “following the leader” with. He likes submissive people that essentially bow down to him at every whim and feel grateful when he graces them with forgiveness. When you are graced with his forgiveness after apologizing for something you didn’t do or after being deemed worthy, you can go skip with him in the flower field and pretend like nothing happened. He is arrogant, selfish, and the ultimate narcissist. If you can’t tell, I somewhat hate him, though it wasn’t always like this. My twin and I actually used to adore him before he went psycho, which probably fed his fetish. The reason for his current behaviors is a long story I shall save for another time. Basically, he hates me because I’m not submissive and he doesn’t like that, which is why he likes my twin more because she is very shy and can be taken advantage of very easily. I don’t put up with that, but I am still a girl that can experience emotions of sensitivity and such. Recently, I have actually thrown up after deliberating over this whole situation on repeat on top of graduating, finding a roommate, having feelings that I can’t imagine myself in the future, financial issues, my already present anxiety and depression, having my family constantly confide in me as the “calm one,” etc. It all piles up and it is so mentally draining that I broke. To top it all off, my twin invited this monster to our graduation without my consent. But of course I would have no say. He actually called her today after she told him that she wanted to move forward from this pettiness and visit him with our mom, dad, and me. He had a stipulation: it was either us, the twins, or no one. He is such a coward. Claiming that our poor mother is brainwashing us without even considering the fact that I’m perfectly capable of forming my own beliefs. Our mother loves us all to a fault, and he loves to take advantage of her on repeat by constantly toying with her emotions (for example, he would only unblock her on social media if he wanted her to see something then block her again; he would claim that she is brainwashing us; he called her a narcissist and monster that abused him when he was a kid - total and complete lie by the way. He lived a perfectly comfortable life and had his Xbox taken away once but I digress). Anyways, he basically does not want to come to our graduation, and I am so tempted to send him a very angry message. The only thing that is stopping me are the consequences of my actions in a heated moment since I don’t know if this text will negatively impact my future. But I do know that my brother will have to face the consequences of his actions for being the only one who didn’t attend our graduation, and you bet I am going to hold that over him for the rest of my damn life. I’m going to wave it high and proud like an American flag on the 4th of July because my own brother, that I once had a close relationship with, decided to be a coward just because he wants control and my parents won’t let him. I don’t care if I ever see him again since I know the brother I knew and loved is king gone in all of his hatred. Even during the time I was close to him, he was not who I thought he was. I am now hearing all of these terrible things as I grow older, and he is and was a terrible person, a bully above all else. You so badly want to believe the person you love, especially someone who shares your blood, is inherently good. Now that my rose-tinted glasses were shattered the day he told me to “get the fuck out of my house,” I can now see him for who he truly is. I wish he would just get over himself and finally admit that he isn’t all-knowing or all-dominant. That he needs his family.

First of all congrats to all 2024 graduates.
This is a long one so yea. My dad has always been a pretty much absent father. Especially financially, with my mom buying us everything we’ve needed , we being my sister and I. I have vivid memories of my dad calling and saying he’s come pick us up for us to spend time with him, only for him to arrive at 10 PM to give us a $10 bill and kiss good bye. we saw him occasionally. We’ve maybe been with a total of 10-20 times throughout the entirety our lives. But as we got older we realized that we weren’t a priority of his.
Right around when COVID hit though my dad began to come around a lot more. But not in the way u may be thinking. See my dad got into hard drugs, with his then gf. Lost my baby brother to CPS, and was basically homeless. So he invited himself to our home, sleeping in my moms car at night and sometimes my mom being the god send that she is was nice enough to let him come in and eat when it got colder out. This was the worst time of my life concerning my father . I saw him in a completely different light and thought very little of him. It just completely stunned me that the only way my dad would come to see his kids is if he had nowhere else to go. He , as most drug addicts was in and out of jail, until one time when he had to stay for a few months longer , and then spent a few months in a halfway house. All throughout this and before my mom never really spoke ill of my father , unless she was arguing with him about some bull shit he was doing while being a druggy and hanging around our house, like doing drugs in our basement. But she always encouraged or even forced us to communicate with him, and try to forgive/ build a relationship with him. Aswell as countless times of my mom helping this man. Giving him money, rides, clothes, and wtv else he asked for.
Well after my dad went to jail that last time and was in the halfway house, he came out a new man. He kicked his drug habit, got his CDL license and was doing great. My sister and I were very proud of him and wanted to give him another chance. We spent 4th of July with him, and hung out with him a couple more times just driving around in his car. And just in general we’re a little closer and more communicative.
Fast forward to the 2 main incidents that led to him not being invited to my graduation . So as I was heading over to a friends house one day my car cut out. My mom was at work with a client (she’s a hairdresser) so I naively thought I could call my dad. He showed up took a look under my hood and realized that id need to get it towed. So I took the initiative to start calling tow companies and try to find the cheapest one. I luckily manage to find a guy that would do it for only $65 . Which if you’re an adult you know how much of an insanely good deal that is. Whilst I’m calling tow companies my dad has spent this time complaining about my moms choice in cars , and basically blaming her for my car cutting out. And also trying to call his sister so he could borrow a tool she had to just hitch my car to her truck and tow it himself. He can’t get ahold of her so I bring up the $65 tow guy. This man starts complaining saying he can do it for free and just wait for his sister to pick it up. Anothe 30 minutes go by and nothing. So i call my mom, and ask her can she cashapp me. Of course she says yes. So I call the tow man myself to get my car towed. The entire time this man is complaining about paying $65 fucking dollars, complaining about my mom buying the car , and complaining saying I hope she doesn’t expect me to pay for this. Mind you he has a CDL license, so he’s making good money and can more then afford to pay it . He paid $30,000 for his car cash and was able to save this money up for it in only a few months, so u do that math for how much he makes. At first I was ignoring him letting him talk shit. But he just kept going on and on and on, and I finally snapped and told him to stop talking about my mom and began defending her. We got into a heated argument that ended with him saying don’t ask him for anything, and me assuring him that I won’t. I had started crying because of how frustrated I was at the situation . I was asking something so little of him and this is how he acted? And he made fun of that saying “I’m not going to cry about it either” this was the last straw and I vowed to never reach out to him again.
I kept that vow despite my moms continuous efforts to get me to talk to him/ unblock him/ forgive him , but I was done. My 18th birthday roles around a few months later. And I decided to be nice and invite him, my thought process was I’m going to college soon , and won’t see him for probably the 4 yrs that id be gone away to school. So why not just try. I didn’t ask this man for anything and just told him where the place of my party was. The time comes and my mom and I are a little late to my party about 10-15 minutes late to getting to the place. He begins texting me asking where we are , and I say we’re a few minutes late, but otw and just resend the address . He starts making excuses saying oh he has work he has to go and wtv else. I say ok that’s fine . He says oh I have a gift I wanted to give you. I say oh you could bring it later when ur off or we could meet somewhere for me to get it tmrw. The next day roles around and I ask him if he worked today and when I could meet him to get the gift. Then he starts talking bs saying, oh I already gave it to ur mom, with the child support card. I’m thinkin oh maybe he can put more money on it and did that for me , for my bday. But no he was referring to the money he is mandated to pay by the state , which he just began paying for the last year or he so he’d been driving trucks. So once I realized this I decided to tell him how bad of a father he was, and yes I did disrespect him and curse him out and I didn’t care. This was really the final straw and I wanted to give him a piece of my mind. And that I did. This is where he really fucked up though. He texted my mom saying to give me the childsupprt card for my bday. My mom uses the $400/ month he pays for our utilities and has them on autopay. And idrc what anyone thinks about that I think it’s a very appropriate use of it. Especially since she pays for wtv else we need and want with no complaints . So she tells him it’s sad that has nothing to give his daughter on her 18th birthday and not to text her phone with the bs telling her what to do with the money. Ig this upsets him because he brings up something’s of my moms past , during a time that was really hard for her. And that was it for my mom. She cut him off too, and though she has not hate for him, she says she’s done allowing people in her life that do nothing but take advantage of and disrespect her. I was relieved to finally have my mother stop pressuring me to spend time with my father, and happy to be done with the stress and pain that he usually causes when he’s around.
Fast forward to now , my Graduation was last week. I only had 8 tickets . And I had already decided to give tickets to my grandma , her 5 kids (my mom , aunts , and uncles) my sister and my favorite cousin. A few days before the graduation whilst at school, a teacher pulls me aside and asks me did Ik my dad tried to come up to my school to get a graduation ticket . I laughed this off. The day of my graduation comes and I find out he was at the place of the graduation trying to find me. I was relieved that we didn’t bump into one another because I truthfully don’t want to see him. But later I felt a little bad when thinking about how he tried to come to the school then still came to the graduation despite not being let in obviously for the lack of a ticket. I don’t know why but my mom is in the same boat feeling guilty that he wasn’t let in on such a big moment. And has began some of her old antics of saying oh can he come to ur graduation party (not the ceremony but a family celebration) my guilt however doesn’t extend this far, and I just can’t give this man yet another opportunity to disappoint me. So what do you think Reddit , am I the asshole?

I've been in love with this woman(X) since I was 14 or 15. I'm 26 now. Nearly 10 or 11 years later. We've been close friends on and off througout these years. On and off because I keep trying to cut ties(which I fail to keep cut because I just end up talking to her again). I did it once in high school when she got a boyfriend and then started talking to her again when they broke up, but I never had the balls to ask her out the rest of high school, and finally when it ended I tried cutting ties again before I left for uni(thought it'd be for good this time because we were going to different states, more than 10 hours away from each other). Things were going okay in uni, in my first year, and I found someone else(Y) that I liked, she had a boyfriend(long distance) so I wasn't hitting on her but l'm pretty sure she knew I liked her. We got really close in the first few months of uni, one day she asks me if i like her and I said yes, after which we stopped talking which really fucking hurt because I thought we were close friends. Right after that happened I started texting X again and it was like we never stopped talking. I got caught for weed at my dorm one night and while I was flipping out about being kicked out of the dorm and my parents finding out, she calls me up and one of the worst nights of my life turned out to be the best, and I guess that's when I realized I'm might still be in love with her. And I confirmed I was in love with her when one of our mutual friends told me that she told him that she liked me at some point in high school. But I didn't wanna admit it or tell her because I saw no point since we were 10 hours apart which just made me feel like absolute shit. Prior to college, till shit went south with Y, I'd never smoked(cigs or weed) or drank and was completely against it. One night I decided to get wasted(it was my first time getting drunk, and the last tbh for another 2 years) and since I didnt know any better I had 8 or 9 shots of whiskey back to back after which I got pretty fucked up and out of control and I ended up texting her admitting how I felt in I think a fucking 3 page essay to which I got no response which made me feel like absolute dogshit and I ended up crying the entire night at my friend's place. Next day I was still feeling like shit and I was at another friend's place smoking up and still crying about it to him and he just picks up my phone and calls her up and asks her to talk to me and she tells me she doesn't feel the same which broke me. After that conversation I just decided to just say fuck it, and fuck up my life, and I was just getting high on weed, alcohol or some other substance every day for the next 4 years. I barely attended uni, managed to get a year back. Pretty much wasted 5 years of my life just getting high or drunk. Anyways after that conversation with X, I stopped talking to her till I think my third year of uni. I met her once in twice in between, once when we were both back at our hometown, and once when she came to score some weed with her boyfriend (yeah I was also a dealer in uni). When I got into my 3rd year of uni, one day she hits me up outta nowhere and she said she's coming over to stay with me, and she stayed for like 2 days. I didnt make a move because I am a fucking dumbass, and I thought she just came there because we were friends. I call myself a dumbass because I do not understand signals from women. I'm also calling myself a dumbass because me and X ended up making out last year and she told me that she's wanted to do this for a while and when I asked her when she told me it whenever she came over to stay with me(which happened like 2 times). And the thing is, we made out after not talking to each other for nearly 3 years. After my uni I decided to completely cut ties with her because I knew that I was fucking up my life and one of the main reasons, there were plenty tbh, that were much worse than a girl not liking me but none of that mattered really because I honestly haven't cared about anything or anyone as much as I cared about her and I didnt know how to get her to like me. At the time I even thought it was all her fault(because it's definitely easier to blame someone else for the shit that goes wrong in your life than to admit that you're the fucking problem) and so one night I just sent her this huge message telling her to get the fuck out if my life and how she has ruined it and blocked her. After this I decided to quit smoking weed every day and isolated myself for a good 6 months(well not really by choice, I decided to move to my uncle's house during covid, and he wouldn't let me out because he was scared of getting infected). After the 6 months I went back to my hometown and I meet her the day after I landed(cuz we have mutual friends) and she asked me if i blocked her and I said yeah. We ended up meeting again a couple of times because we pretty much have the same friends, which didn't help me get over her so I just decided to cut out all my friends for like 2 years. And honestly speaking I got my shit together in those 2 years. Now I've never been someone with a lot of confidence my whole life. I've been an addict with no self control. Addicted to different substances, food, porn, cigarettes, just being an absolute waste man. Throughout high-school I was a fatass ugly fucker. I got attractive in uni cuz I smoked weed and lost a fuck ton of weight, I was attractive on the outside but a piece of shit on the inside(I knew it, but no one else really did)so getting attractive really didn't help my confidence a bit. In the last 2 years I finally got my shit together, got over almost all my addictions(smoking was my main, now it's porn, trying to get over it now) started going to the gym regularly and felt happy about myself, and I decided to start talking to my old friends and unblocked X because I finally realized it's not her fault that shit went wrong in my life, but my own which i didn't really admit to her cuz I had too much ego. I didn't even start talking to her, I just unblocked her and started following her socials. We ended up meeting because of our mutual friends, and the second time we met, we got super drunk, and we both started apologizing to each other. Later that night she made a move on me and we made out for a bit. Now I've hooked up with other people, but I've always felt like shit about it because it just never felt good. But I can't forget this fucking night, like it's etched in my fucking memory unlike most things because I have a shit memory. Honestly I forget most things that happen in my life except for moments i spend with her. Thing is I didn't wanna pursue it any further because I was leaving the country to pursue my passion (which didn't work out and I returned back home) and now I feel like it's too late to pursue it, because I don't think she's interested. I don't wanna tell her how I feel either because I've done this before and it's never worked out. I used to keep making excuses about being single to everyone by telling people that i don't have the opportunity to meet a lot of women after college(partially true), but now at my new job I meet plenty of women but I'm not interested in any of them because I know deep down I'm still in love with X. I don't think I can fall in love with anyone else and honestly I don't know what the fuck to do at this point. Worst part is life is going great at this point after being down in the dumps for so long. Got a decent job that I actually like going to, got great friends, have a lot of control over myself, but I still don't feel any happier because I'm not with her. Can't even tell this to anyone cuz our mutual friends think I'm over her, and don't know anything that happened between us. And my other friends just don't support me liking her so I just tell them I don't like her anymore.

I've been in love with this girl(X) since I was 14 or 15. I'm 26 now. Nearly 10 or 11 years later. We've been close friends on and off througout these years. On and off because I keep trying to cut ties(which I fail to keep cut because I just end up talking to her again). I did it once in high school when she got a boyfriend and then started talking to her again when they broke up, but I never had the balls to ask her out the rest of high school, and finally when it ended I tried cutting ties again before I left for uni(thought it'd be for good this time because we were going to different states, more than 10 hours away from each other). Things were going okay in uni, in my first year, and I found someone else(Y) that I liked, she had a boyfriend(long distance) so I wasn't hitting on her but l'm pretty sure she knew I liked her. We got really close in the first few months of uni, one day she asks me if i like her and I said yes, after which we stopped talking which really fucking hurt because I thought we were close friends. Right after that happened I started texting X again and it was like we never stopped talking. I got caught for weed at my dorm one night and while I was flipping out about being kicked out of the dorm and my parents finding out, she calls me up and one of the worst nights of my life turned out to be the best, and I guess that's when I realized I'm might still be in love with her. And I confirmed I was in love with her when one of our mutual friends told me that she told him that she liked me at some point in high school. But I didn't wanna admit it or tell her because I saw no point since we were 10 hours apart which just made me feel like absolute shit. Prior to college, till shit went south with Y, I'd never smoked(cigs or weed) or drank and was completely against it. One night I decided to get wasted(it was my first time getting drunk, and the last tbh for another 2 years) and since I didnt know any better I had 8 or 9 shots of whiskey back to back after which I got pretty fucked up and out of control and I ended up texting her admitting how I felt in I think a fucking 3 page essay to which I got no response which made me feel like absolute dogshit and I ended up crying the entire night at my friend's place. Next day I was still feeling like shit and I was at another friend's place smoking up and still crying about it to him and he just picks up my phone and calls her up and asks her to talk to me and she tells me she doesn't feel the same which broke me. After that conversation I just decided to just say fuck it, and fuck up my life, and I was just getting high on weed, alcohol or some other substance every day for the next 4 years. I barely attended uni, managed to get a year back. Pretty much wasted 5 years of my life just getting high or drunk. Anyways after that conversation with X, I stopped talking to her till I think my third year of uni. I met her once in twice in between, once when we were both back at our hometown, and once when she came to score some weed with her boyfriend (yeah I was also a dealer in uni). When I got into my 3rd year of uni, one day she hits me up outta nowhere and she said she's coming over to stay with me, and she stayed for like 2 days. I didnt make a move because I am a fucking dumbass, and I thought she just came there because we were friends. I call myself a dumbass because I do not understand signals from women. I'm also calling myself a dumbass because me and X ended up making out last year and she told me that she's wanted to do this for a while and when I asked her when she told me it whenever she came over to stay with me(which happened like 2 times). And the thing is, we made out after not talking to each other for nearly 3 years. After my uni I decided to completely cut ties with her because I knew that I was fucking up my life and one of the main reasons, there were plenty tbh, that were much worse than a girl not liking me but none of that mattered really because I honestly haven't cared about anything or anyone as much as I cared about her and I didnt know how to get her to like me. At the time I even thought it was all her fault(because it's definitely easier to blame someone else for the shit that goes wrong in your life than to admit that you're the fucking problem) and so one night I just sent her this huge message telling her to get the fuck out if my life and how she has ruined it and blocked her. After this I decided to quit smoking weed every day and isolated myself for a good 6 months(well not really by choice, I decided to move to my uncle's house during covid, and he wouldn't let me out because he was scared of getting infected). After the 6 months I went back to my hometown and I meet her the day after I landed(cuz we have mutual friends) and she asked me if i blocked her and I said yeah. We ended up meeting again a couple of times because we pretty much have the same friends, which didn't help me get over her so I just decided to cut out all my friends for like 2 years. And honestly speaking I got my shit together in those 2 years. Now I've never been someone with a lot of confidence my whole life. I've been an addict with no self control. Addicted to different substances, food, porn, cigarettes, just being an absolute waste man. Throughout high-school I was a fatass ugly fucker. I got attractive in uni cuz I smoked weed and lost a fuck ton of weight, I was attractive on the outside but a piece of shit on the inside(I knew it, but no one else really did)so getting attractive really didn't help my confidence a bit. In the last 2 years I finally got my shit together, got over almost all my addictions(smoking was my main, now it's porn, trying to get over it now) started going to the gym regularly and felt happy about myself, and I decided to start talking to my old friends and unblocked X because I finally realized it's not her fault that shit went wrong in my life, but my own which i didn't really admit to her cuz I had too much ego. I didn't even start talking to her, I just unblocked her and started following her socials. We ended up meeting because of our mutual friends, and the second time we met, we got super drunk, and we both started apologizing to each other. Later that night she made a move on me and we made out for a bit. Now I've hooked up with other people, but I've always felt like shit about it because it just never felt good. But I can't forget this fucking night, like it's etched in my fucking memory unlike most things because I have a shit memory. Honestly I forget most things that happen in my life except for moments i spend with her. Thing is I didn't wanna pursue it any further because I was leaving the country to pursue my passion (which didn't work out and I returned back home) and now I feel like it's too late to pursue it, because I don't think she's interested. I don't wanna tell her how I feel either because I've done this before and it's never worked out. I used to keep making excuses about being single to everyone by telling people that i don't have the opportunity to meet a lot of women after college(partially true), but now at my new job I meet plenty of women but I'm not interested in any of them because I know deep down I'm still in love with X. I don't think I can fall in love with anyone else and honestly I don't know what the fuck to do at this point. Worst part is life is going great at this point after being down in the dumps for so long. Got a decent job that I actually like going to, got great friends, have a lot of control over myself, but I still don't feel any happier because I'm not with her.

Hi, so my bf broke up 3 months back and well I cannot move on. The reason for breakup he used to give me was “his work life is a shit and he needs time to himself and he feels bad when I’ve to point out that he needs to give me attention too”. For most time after breakup we fought and I wanted him to come back but later on I just left it how it is.
We met 3-4 times after breakup because I was leaving Mumbai as my college ended and my job location is blr. During one such meet he mentioned something like the real reason why he broke was not entirely the office scene but also distance will happen. I mean whenever we had this conversation during relationship that do you want to do distance or not he used to say “if you are into this then yes I’ll try my best to make this work”.
So now like a normal person I want to move on but I cannot because my ex messages me here and there telling me stuffs happening in his family, or if he is bored or just want to hear me rant about things. Because of this I cannot. I did mention him to stop it and reminded him that we are not together anymore and I’ve not reached that level to be friends with him now. To which his reply was to block him if I find irritating. I tried blocking but I end up unblocking him. And like an idiot any major event which happens in my life I inform him and the same energy is not reflected back to which I get disappointed too. And then my cycle of not moving on does not move anywhere.
Please help me out and also this is my first Reddit post so be kind.

DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. I am NOT OP. Original post by u/OddDot5178 in AITAH
trigger warnings: possible transphobia, possible mental health issues, manipulation
​
NOTE: Because everyone will wonder, I am addressing this right now. While OOP's child identifies as non-binary, she uses "she/her" pronouns and presents as a female. This is why OOP refers to her as her daughter.

AITAH For Not Wanting To Raise My NB Daughter's Baby? - Feb 7, 2024
My daughter came to me at 16 and said she was non-binary, but only sometimes. Like, some days she would feel more male than female and some days she would feel like neither. She wanted me to ask her every day what day it was and then refer to her as that pronoun of the day.
I told her that wasn’t going to fly. Growing up, I spent a lot of time on LJ (Livejournal) during the ol’ ‘bun-self’ and ‘zen-self’ ‘zir-self’ days. People who think this is new to this generation are fooling themselves. I told her that I would call her the pronoun she wanted, and do my best to remember it day to day, but she was going to have to tell me what she wanted for that day. I wasn’t going to play a daily guessing game.
This went on for about a week or two until she finally seemed to grow tired or bored and just said I could call her ‘her’. Though she still identifies as non-binary. Fine. (At least when it was going on she wanted ‘she, he, or they’ — I’m sorry but I couldn’t have done fox-self/fox-them with a straight face).
So that’s the pronoun story and looking back where I think things started to go off the handle. Here’s my real question.
My daughter is now 18, pregnant, and seems to have lost her god damned mind. Or I’m an asshole. You choose.
This year has been a struggle. She wanted to take a break year before she goes to community college, but can’t keep a job. Apparently, retail situations are too phobic against her non-binary state. (My child looks/acts/dresses exactly as a young adult female btw. When I ask how people are being phobic against her, she gets as prickly as a cactus so I really don’t know the details.). She’s been through 4 or 5 jobs this year, quit all of them. She won’t consider call centers that aren’t face to face because she doesn’t like to talk on phones, and is apparently looking for a remote job without any luck.
She’s been unemployed since Thanksgiving (she quit her last job on Black Friday, in fact) and I was on the verge of laying down the law, telling her she either needs to go to school this upcoming semester full time or get a full time job or move out with her friends.
But now she’s come to me and she’s 5 months pregnant. She’s very angry at me, says it’s my fault because:

• I didn’t put her on puberty-blocking hormones when she came to me 2 years ago.
• She believes I am in fact trying to ‘feminize her’ by getting her birth control. (The pill.). She’s been throwing her prescription away.

This is where I might be the asshole. I called her a little idiot. We don’t use that sort of language in my house, and I never call people names — especially my own child — but at that moment I could just see red.
The hormone thing is a non-issue IMO because this is the first time I ever heard of her wanting hormones. What was I supposed to do? Go back in time?
As for the birth control! It’s also the first time I’m hearing anything about this! There are non-pill options that don’t have estrogen. If that was her want, all she had to do was ask and I would have driven her to the doctor myself! Or she could have taken the car she has and done it. She has her own medical card, even! Though to be fair, I don’t know how she would have managed the co-pay without a job. I know for a fact her old high school gave out free condoms like candy because her friends were always giggling over flavored sample packs and even blew a few of them up like balloons and left them around the house one time. She had all the birth control she could ever want and used none of it.
It gets worse.
We’re way past the date of abortion (again, I would have helped her if this had been her wish! We live in an abortion protected state and can afford it!). She’s known she was pregnant since about 2 months and has come to think of her baby like a sibling. She expects me to raise it like it was mine. That this is my duty, in fact, because she says it is my refusal to accept her non-binary state that led to her being pregnant. So she was going to get a brother or sister and I was going to have another child.
You can say my language grew … sterner to versions of ‘Get your head out of your ass’ and ‘Congratulations, mommy, you have some hard decisions to make’, and I said I would absolutely not raise her baby for her.
She also refused to say who the father was. Now that I’ve cooled down, I’m really hoping she has a secret boyfriend. She does have some friends who were born male, but now also don’t identify that way. We didn’t even get there as I lost my mind when she said she thinks of her own baby as a sibling and wants me to raise it like my own child.
She’s locked herself in her room loudly wailing, I feel like crap warmed over. She’s been in there for 12 hours, and as she has an attached bathroom, probably won’t be coming out until she gets hungry. Considering it’s been half a day I think she has snacks stored.
I also don’t know where to go from here. Being pregnant sucks and messes with your head, so I’d like to blame that and the fear she must be feeling, but … I have the bad feeling I either raised a spoiled brat or someone with an emerging personality disorder.
So I need to know from people who aren’t emotionally involved, and maybe some people who are more in tune with this whole nonbinary thing than I am.
What do I do to help while also making her responsible for her own child? How can I help my daughter accept she must do basically the most feminine thing you can do (give birth and possibly breast-feed) while being sensitive that she’s non-binary? Am I just a big asshole here?
Typing all this out it feels like my daughter is lost in crazy town. I'm still not raising her baby but at what point do I drag a legal adult to the hospital?
Edit: You might disagree with my choices or wording, but I'm reporting people who call this bait. It's not.
Edit2: It's the middle of the night and she has decided to pack some of her clothes and stay with one of her friends. (One who I suspect is the baby daddy). Before she left she told me that she already called the police and let them know that she was 'leaving of her own free will and was not in danger'. Like I was going to report an 18 year old adult as a runaway or something? It was insulting.
I told her she needs to work out details if she wants to adopt with the father, and she was welcome back home when she had a plan in place.
It was short because I heard her on the way out. I think she just meant to leave without saying anything.
Thank you for your kind comments and advice, Reddit. I'm going to sleep.
Commenters agreed that OOP's child wasn't thinking straight:
Comment 1:
NTA.
I hate to say this, but; I sincerely hope OP's daughter chooses to give up this baby for adoption, because she's a confused hot ass mess. I don't blame OP for not wanting to step on the crazy train and raise this baby.
Comment 2:
Let’s be honest: If OP says yes to raising this child as her own, it will be the first of several. Daughter won’t take BC, so she will continue to have unprotected sex and get pregnant. She decided a couple years ago that she’s NB, expected her mother to understand that and know everything about it, and is now rewriting history to blame her mom for her now being pregnant. My head is swimming, and she’s not my daughter! There will be more babies.
Comment 3:
NB here OP.
You are SO NTA. I feel sympathy for your kid because they sound like they are so confused, maybe have body dysphoria and are now facing a life altering situation with no way out. They must feel so trapped. So they turn on you. It's easier for them to yell at and blame you instead of accepting responsibility. They are looking for a way out. We all keep changing and growing and your kid is SO young they seem to not know who they are yet and now they have to face looking after a baby when they know deep down they can't even really take care of themselves.
But my GOD the thing they did that was really stupid was chucking BC away. That is actually wild. Your kid needs to learn the difference between gender enforced stereotypes and actual biology. With biology it unfortunately doesn't matter what gender you are, the biology doesn't care, it still works the same. They NEED to learn that and differentiate.
Like I said, NTA OP. What a shit situation. I hope it gets better. I really do.
Comment 4:
NTA, your child is in fact a little idiot, with behavior that would be an absolute nightmare had you not been their parent. Also birth control isn’t a form of feminization, it’s a form of responsibility when you’re born in a body with a uterus and want to have sex that can result in pregnancy.
OOP's response:
Ugh, I wish I had those words when she hit me with that one. I sort of sputtered for a few minutes.
Comment 5:
Oh man, this is a can of worms within itself.
I wish I had better advice but just...I feel for you and the position you are stuck in.
The ONLY thing I can think of is, referring to breast feeding as "chest feeding" might make your NB daughter accept it more.
But like...there's a whole other level of things you need to get through first.
First and foremost, therapy, ASAP for your kid. Because she needs to get her head sorted out. Assuming you will just take this kid and raise it for her is...problematic to say the least. And she's got a deadline coming obviously, so therapy ASAP.
Also appointment for pregnancy checkups asap!! Has she had any? An unmonitored pregnancy can lead to complications
You might also be able to get her a social worker to go through pregnancy checkups, birthing extra.
Your kid needs a big sit down conversation about accountability for your own actions. And about how she might feel like part of YOUR actions lead to this, there was also many many choices she could have made to prevent this, that she chose not too. And at the end of the day, it was HER choices that led to this, not you.
OOP's response:
Thanks for this tip. I've written it down. The reason I mentioned she was NB because using 'breast' instead of 'chest' is the exact type of thing to send her into a pissy-fit when she's in the wrong mood. I know this may sound like a little thing, but she's always been... well, dramatic.
Because it's the internet and things are anonymous I'll admit that I am absolutely dreading pregnancy and afterbirth mood swings. Especially since it will all involve very womanly things in every intimate way. On top of the sheer stress of a newborn? Yes, I'm not looking forward to it at all and am already preparing to endure the storms.
Our conversation wasn't productive (it was an argument and she's still not out of her room) but I don't think she has had any prenatal care. That will change if I have anything to do with it.
Thanks again.
OOP commented with some of her concerns:
Yes. My worry and regret have so many places to go and a big part of it is for the baby.
This has been a bad day. :(
Responding to a comment regarding her child's entitled attitude:
Oh believe you me I have been kicking myself up and down on top of everything else. I don't know how she got to this point, but she's there now.
I wish I did have that time travel machine she clearly expects me to have.
She also clarified her overall views on the matter:
I'm on the fence. If she acted at all like she didn't have a gender (I believe that's what NB is) then I could take it more seriously. But she dresses as a woman. She puts on makeup, wears dresses during the summer, enjoys feminine things? We watch horse videos on youtube and squeal over the new foal videos. She's never been a tom boy, even.
But I was like, okay this isn't hurting her. I'll let her have this and express herself. Maybe it'll turn into something, maybe it won't. And after the first few weeks, she even dropped changing pronouns every day.
Her mentioning being NB faded and then started up hard again when high school ended and she started working retail.
I try to be understanding. Retail is hell and I'd personally only work it again if I was at my last resort. But recently it does seem to be an excuse not to work. And now she has a baby on the way.
This may not be the place for it, but I'm just worried she's regressing to a more child-like state. I don't know if she's struggling with being NB or if she's using NB as an excuse to shield herself from the world. Ugh. I guess the internet won't know, but I'm just flat out worried.
​
AITAH has no consensus bot but the comments were largely NTA.
​
Update: My NB Daughter Wants Me To Raise Her Baby - Feb 17, 2024
Hi,
This is an update to this post (Long story short my 18 year old NB daughter wanted me to raise her baby, and she told me she thinks the baby as her sibling. We had a blow-out, she locked herself in her room for most of a day, and then took off with her friends/her lover)
So this happened a few days ago but I didn’t update because I needed to get my head around it. It still doesn’t make sense.
Daughter finally unblocked me. She and the person who got her pregnant wanted to talk to me at a public place. We chose iHop.
Although I suspected I knew who her lover was, I was disappointed to find out because they have been a part of my daughter’s friend group since high school and was the only one I ever had a problem with and kicked out of my house.
They are trans now but two years ago the friend group was watching a movie in the living room, and every time I’d pass by, he (he was a he then) would lock eyes with me and make really obnoxious, loud, orgasm sounds like that scene in Harry Met Sally. I told him to knock it off and grew sterner when he did it again.
Then when I was in the kitchen, he somehow snuck up behind me and was miming jack-off movements with his hand. I turned around and caught him at it. He was still fully clothed, but it was startling and freaky. I kicked him out.
So now I’ll just call them Sperm-donor because that’s what they are.
I’m still calling my daughter ‘my daughter’ and ‘she’ because I still haven’t been told not to by her otherwise. So get off my case on that.
Anyway, the iHop meeting was a shit-show. Sperm-donor sat with my daughter and went on the attack. Sperm-donor’s points were:

• I was poisoning my daughter by “making” her take birth control. (I only helped her get the prescription and would have done everything I could if I knew she didn’t want to take the pill. There are other methods!)
• It will take years to “fix” my daughter after all I did. (Not giving her hormones even though I had no idea that was what she wanted. She dropped even wanting to change her pronouns after a few weeks.)
• Abortion is a sin and I am a monster for suggesting it. (It’s past the date anyway.)
• I am further abusing her by not taking care of the baby while she fixes herself. (I guess they meant it as a temp situation which was also new to me.)

So apparently even though I’m an abusive monster, a bad mother, and so on, I’m even worse for not taking in their baby. At least no one suggested that I raise it like my daughter’s sister anymore. That might have been my daughter’s thought on it.
Sperm-donor did most of the talking while my daughter just sat and glared at me, nodding along.
It was kind of a whirlwind, Sperm-donor pounded the table a few times, and even the waiter knew not to bother us after drinks, lol. I’m surprised we weren’t asked to leave.
There was a lot said, mostly by the sperm-donor who really seemed to be steering the ship. I asked why sperm-donor couldn’t take care of the baby and sperm-donor said their parents were even worse than me. I guess my daughter and sperm-donor taking care of the child they created is out of the question.
I told them that I would not be raising their baby for them and that adoption is the best bet. They said that if I don’t agree to raise it, they’ll make sure I’ll never see the baby ever.
I won’t raise their child for them. So that’s that, I guess.
I feel so many flavors of worried and angry and then worried all over again. I’ve been around the block and it’s never a great sign when the person you’re with makes an enemy of your family. That’s what sperm-donor has done by painting me as an abuser and failed mother who also won’t take in their baby. Sounds like sperm-donor has cut themselves off from their own family too. So I’m worried my daughter is in a very controlling relationship with someone who convinced her to stop birth control because they think hormones are too feminizing somehow and that she needs to be “fixed”. But they still want me to raise their baby.
I’m angry that my daughter can just hear this crap and nod along like, yeah, that makes total sense. She is not stupid. I think she’s love blinded.
I’m sad and worried for the baby. A couple commenters suggested I wanted nothing to do with the baby because I wouldn’t agree to raise it as my own. No, in a perfect world, I would want a normal grandmotherly relationship. Or at least know that the child is safe and has been adopted into a loving family.
I don’t care what my daughter does with her gender, or her body as long as she doesn’t hurt herself. I want her to be in a happy relationship with someone who values her for who she is. Sperm-donor kept using the word ‘fix’ which I see as another terrible sign.
It’s bad all around. My house is empty. It feels like my adult daughter has run off to join up with some weird church/cult thing who tells her that up is down. That not using birth control and not getting an abortion and then expecting others to take care of the child is all a-okay. Oh and that she’s a problem and needs to be “fixed”.
I texted her and said I would be there for her, but sperm-donor was still not welcome in the house. I think I’m blocked again.
She’s a legal adult. I’m not sure what else I can do at this point? In my low points, part of me thinks maybe I should agree to take the baby and then immediately make sure it’s adopted into a loving home. But I get the feeling that sperm-donor won’t make that easy, and right now my daughter does what he says. Also I’m not sure if that plan is even possible. It sounds Hollywood.
I have an appointment to speak with a councilor, but the soonest I could get is April. Some of my friends think I should take the baby in either to get them away from the parents or because they think it’s my duty, or both.
The only silver lining in this was that they both seemed sober. I don’t think there’s drugs involved.
Am I reading this wrong? Am I the asshole here?
Commenters agreed that sperm donor's comments made no sense, and that OOP's child was probably stuck in an abusive relationship:
Comment 1:
For your safety, I would change the locks and put up camera, Sperm-donor seems unhinged. I’m a firm believer in better safe than sorry.
Comment 2:
This baby will be used as a pawn in his never ending psycho drama. If they do not and cannot raise their baby, the best solution is adoption. Otherwise, the father will make your life a living hell.
NTA
OOP's response:
I couldn't figure out a polite way of saying this, but yes. That is my suspicion if I take in their baby. Sperm-donor implied it would be temporary while earlier my daughter said it would be permanent. I think sperm-donor will refuse to sign over paperwork when the time comes or try to leverage it in some way.
Comment 3:
NTA also it sounds like your daughter is in an abusive relationship with this person. Sorry your daughter has been brain washed by this crazy person. I would definitely contact this sperm donors family and if they seem sane warn them about how crazy both of spoke to you.
OOP's response:
That is my fear, and not a bad idea to contact sperm-donor's parents. This has all happened so far, I feel like I'm in shock and I'm very worried.
Comment 4:
Pretty wild that a trans person is saying abortion is a sin. None of this is anything like what you're going to hear from any healthy LGBT community, who are quite careful to make sure not to support people in delusional or antisocial behavior. Definitely get therapy, sounds like your kid has some serious mental health problems if they're being influenced by whatever wackos put these ideas into their head. You're going to need support in coping with this madness. NTA by a country mile. You are in no way "abusing" your kid by refusing to take responsibility for their bad choices.
OOP's response:
Thank you and yes, I don't want to minimize my daughter's role in it but the hard anti-abortion thing surprised me too. A lot of what they said contradicted itself. It felt like I was sitting across from two people who were in their own wacko bubble.
I know it's not a LGBT thing. I wish someone from their community would knock some sense into them, if its even possible at this point.
​
OOP hasn't posted since the last update.
Reminder - I am not the original poster. DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS.

TW for s/h mentions, self end mentions, and abuse mentions
Obligatory clarification that this was a few months ago, I just regularly feel guilty about it and wanted to see if I'm right in feeling that guilt. Also, apologies in advance since I think this is going to be a long post.
I(20ftm) was abused in multiple ways by my stepfather(46m). I filed a case against him two years ago, which finally got picked up after my younger sister(16f) ran away from the house. During these two years, no one in the family talked to me, as he convinced everyone that I was a liar, a manipulator, and was doing everything as an act of revenge on him for "treating me with the respect I deserved". He was sentenced last October to 15 years in prison, and then they began to investigate my mother(38f) because she knew about the physical/verbal/mental abuse of all of us kids(there were five of us, ages will be given as children are mentioned), and about the s/xual abuse toward me. I live out in Arizona, however when my mother lost custody of our siblings, my older sister(25f), who well call Molly, reached out to me asking if I would be willing to come back up to Ohio, my home state, to help her take temporary custody of the children. The plan was that I would come back up to Ohio, live with my old roommates, get a job, and watch the children in the morning to get them on the bus and afternoon until Molly got home from work. This was something that was agreed upon by everyone, and it was decided that due to a job opportunity I would be going back to Arizona in three months. I immediately explained to everyone involved that I would not flake out on these plans unless my mental health got to a point where I was actively considering self ending. Molly requested that she get "some sort of notice" before something like that we're to happen, and I told her that the best I could do was actively pointing out signs of mental health decline as they happened so she would know where I was in my headspace, to which she agreed.
Fast forward to the day I'm to fly up, and I get a call from Molly. She explains that our grandmother is giving her her old house in exchange for the childcare until my mother got out of jail should the worst case scenario happen, and she wanted to know if I could live in full time with her. In exchange she would pay my way through driving school and get me a car off Facebook marketplace, which would roughly equal out to three months of paid labor. She explained that I wouldn't have to do any chores(though it would be nice) and she would support me financially so that I didn't need to get a job(though I also could if I wanted to) and I could put my full time and care toward the children. This seemed like a fair deal to me, so I agreed. We talked about a few other minor details, such as my room(I wouldn't have one, and would be sleeping in the corner of the living room) and food(I requested that she get healthy food because eating excessive amounts of junk food triggers my ED, which she agreed to but more on that later).
I fly up and reconnect with all of my siblings(I hadn't talked to any of them in person since the incident two years ago), and talk with a close friend of mine, who I'll call Buddy. Buddy expressed that he didn't think that me moving in full time with Molly was a good idea, and tried to imply that she might try and take advantage of me while I was there and overstep boundaries. I told him that I trusted her not to do so, and she and I had agreed that I would be spending weekends with him at his place to decompress and regularly assess my mental health. This was almost immediately backtracked by Molly, saying she didn't expect me to actually take the whole weekend and she requested Saturdays to be her "day off", which I agreed to. About a week and a half after I arrived and was settled in, we started having violence issues with the youngest(10m), and they were mostly directed toward me. We assumed that this was because my stepfather had fed the kids a story about how I had left because I didn't care about them, and he was too young to understand the truth of the situation. Molly was very attentive to my needs at first, making sure to buy fruits and vegetables as well as having the children upstairs by 9 pm so that I could have some private time to relax each night. All was good other than the violent outbursts from the youngest(who I'll nickname Chris).
After about a month, we had to give Chris to an aunt due to the violent outbursts becoming more frequent and the police having to be called several times just to get him to stop attacking me. I explained to Molly that it was affecting me pretty badly, and she and I sat down and talked it out, deciding I wasn't at a point that I needed to leave yet, however if we kept him I would be. So we let Chris go up to my aunts, who we'll call Aunt Hayley. After that things calmed down in the household, with there only being two major fights between the remaining three children. During this time, Molly began to talk about how stressed she was about finances, as well as she signed up for a college course and got a boyfriend. I didn't see this as a big deal at the time, but it compiled with everything else. Molly began coming home at 6-7 and immediately going to her room, and I would end up keeping watch of the children for the remainder of the night. This didn't bother me too much at the time, as I saw it as helping her, however I could. Before this, she and I had pretty evenly split chores, with both of us doing dishes, laundry, and trash periodically. Once she began this college course, I took up the entirety of the dishes, laundry for all of the children, and majority of trash. Molly tended to her room and mandated when the children cleaned their rooms and their upstairs bathroom, but other than that was in her room either doing classwork or hanging out with her boyfriend. During this time she also stopped getting the healthier foods, despite me helping with grocery lists and requesting healthier foods, opting instead for snacks or frozen foods such as pizzas, hot pockets, bagel bites, etc. This upset me seeing as I had already explained to her my issues with said foods, but I didn't feel I had a right to make comment seeing as she was still financially supporting me.
During this time, my no contact order with my mother was lifted, and I agreed to speak with her again, seeing as she had eventually denounced her borderline worship of my stepfather and told the police everything, and was now in therapy and parenting classes. To be clear, from the moment I had arrived in Ohio, I had wanted nothing to do with her, and the only reason I had agreed to talk to her was to give her one last opportunity to man up and explain everything properly. She did, and as I had suspected, he had been severely abusing her in every way as well. I still didn't trust her, but I decided to give her a second chance at a relationship on the condition that she not bring any more men into my siblings lives until they were all 18 or older(which she agreed to). I began to visit her semi-regularly, and Molly and I agreed that I would go to her house Saturday nights for dinner, seeing as I was already going to Buddy's around 7 pm Saturday nights anyway, which meant it wouldn't really change any of Molly's plans. At this time I began having a friend over, who we'll call Max. Max is a close friend of mine since middle school, and Molly approved him to be around any time, however I only really had him around on Tuesdays due to his work schedule. As soon as Max met Molly, he said he didn't really like the way she talked to me, and when I didn't understand(I have autism) he explained that a lot of how she speaks to me sounds like she's talking down to/making fun of me, and that when I say something she doesn't seem to take me seriously. I brushed this off, thinking that it was just him not being used to her somewhat abrasive personality.
Molly continued to complain about finances, and I continued searching for a job as I had been since I got there, and then came the first weird incident during this. One day Molly said that our mother had offered her a motorcycle, but that she had a feeling that she wouldn't actually give it to her, and so she was going to go buy her own. I didn't mention how counter intuitive this was to her finance problem, though I should have in hindsight. She also went out that weekend to get her nails and hair professionally done(which she had told me at one point all together was around $200), as well as I believe the next weekend to get a $180 tattoo shaded. Seeing as Molly had gone out and bought a motorcycle, my mother instead offered me the bike, which I accepted. Molly then began making comments about how she knew my mother was going to give me the bike, and that was why she had gone out and gotten her own(despite the fact that I had asked for the bike before I knew it was supposed to be given to Molly, and was told only if she didn't want it because she got first dibs).
During the last month, my mental health began to hit the decline I had warned Molly about. I informed her of when it became hard to get out of bed, when I was having guilt or s/h urges, and then eventually I reached a point where I requested she take back up at least some responsibility of dishes and laundry because my mental health couldn't handle it. She got somewhat indignant about this, saying that because I was living there rent free I should be doing the majority of the chores. By this time, I had very much seen what Max had been saying about her talking down to me, however I wasn't in the mental state to go against her, so I just reiterated that I really wasn't doing well. She said that her classwork, job, and social life wouldn't allow her to have time for it, and since I had none of those I didn't have any reason to feel the way I was. At this point, Buddy and my two old roommates(who we'll call Rat and Iroh) started insisting that I should go back to the original plan and only go down in mornings and until she got home from work, however I felt obligated to help her so I stayed. They repeatedly reminded me that she still hadn't followed through on any of her promises regarding driving school, car, or respecting my triggers. I continued to stay, partially to help her and partially because I knew at this point that it would backfire on the children as well if I left.
Two weeks before I was supposed to leave, Molly pulled me aside and told me that due to financial concerns, she would be letting the children go to a foster home in two weeks, once I left. This confused me seeing as a) I hadn't been bringing in any financials, and b) she insisted on keeping the 16 year old(who I'll call Fiona) but refused to keep the other two, because (in her own words) "Fiona is the easiest to handle". I felt as if I was to blame for this because the way Molly had presented it to me made it seem like the only reason she was letting the children go was because I was leaving, and a few days earlier she had been trying to push "if you could only stay another month". This plummeted my mental health, and about a week later(a week before my stay was supposed to end) I hit the point of actively wanting to self end. I informed her of this, and she got cold with me, saying she wished I had told her sooner. I reminded her that I had vocalized every step for things going down hill, and she insisted that it wasnt enough and I should have given her more notice, as well as claiming she could have done this whole thing without me and that I was more trouble than I was worth at points. She then started saying that I had only come back to get close to our mother and that I didn't actually care about her or the children(as I said, I hated my mother when I arrived). I told her that I would stay till that Friday night as it was Thursday and I didn't want to force her to try to find last minute childcare so late at night. At some point in this conversation we got a call from the middle(14nb, whom we'll call Sora) child's school saying that Sora had assaulted another student. This student had been making fun of Sora for months, claiming that they deserved the abuse they went through and that she hoped my stepfather got out of jail so that he could hurt Sora worse. I requested Molly not be too intense on the punishment, seeing as this had been an ongoing issue that had been brought to both the principal and Molly's attention, and been brushed off by both. Molly started beating me about how disgusting it was that I was condoning violence, and I clarified that while I didn't condone it, this situation had been hard enough on Sora. At this point in time, I had had enough and told her that if she didn't want my input and wanted to belittle me and "put me in my place", then she could put her money where her mouth was about being able to do this without me and I would leave that night. She said fine, but that she knew I wasn't actually wanting to end myself and was just using it as a convenient out of the situation. I began to pack. As soon as she got home she said that I had been taking her tone wrong, and that she hadn't meant to attack me. She then started saying that I wasn't screwing her over in this, I was screwing the children over. This was while the children were out of the house, and I did raise my voice, telling her that I wasn't trying to screw anyone over, I was following exactly the boundaries I had set, as I should have from the beginning. Buddy came and picked me up, and I went and spent the night with my mother.
The next day I was informed that Molly had told our caseworker that I had bailed, and that the children were to be picked up the next day(all except Fiona, who would stay in Molly's care and eventually the possibility of Molly adopting her was discussed). That Friday was the court case which was to decide what was to happen with my mother. Molly had expressed throughout this entire process that she didn't want my mother to go to jail, and that she would do almost anything to keep her out. The prosecutors had also expressed that they didn't want her to get a full 3 year sentence. During the court proceedings, Molly was the only one in the room requesting the maximum sentence for my mother, and during her speech was consistently deadnaming and misgendering me, which no one else in the court room was doing. My mother walked out with a 60 day sentence, which wasn't terrible, but the damage was done to mine and Molly's relationship, seeing as it was already strained before I found out she had been lying to me for months about her stances on this. She and I had had several conversations about this, while I hated my mother and whole I was healing my relationship with her, and her stance of wanting her to stay out of jail had never wavered. I unfollowed her on most medias, but kept her unblocked on everything. Three days before I was supposed to leave, I realized that my leather jacket and my keys to my boyfriend's collar were still at her house, and I tried to contact her to ask for them back. I texted her twice, neither of which she responded to, and then Buddy called her. She claimed she hadn't seen them, but refused to let us come over to look for them, despite the fact that the last time I had seen either one was in the house because I had been too depressed to leave the house. She continuously refused to let me come check, or even let someone else come check, claiming that she didn't trust me to put things back the way they were, despite me never showing any inclination of touching anything that wasn't mine. I went to text her again on the matter and found that she had blocked me on all platforms. Shortly after this Fiona would start claiming the same things about me not actually wanting to end myself and just using it as an excuse, showing that she had been talking to Molly about this, and her views on pretty much everything shifted to Molly's views. This caused a rift to the point that while I have strong contact with my other siblings, I don't have much contact with Fiona.
I feel as though it was wrong to leave the children in the situation they were in, and I desperately wish I could have done more to help, but I knew that once I hit that mental state I was no longer safe to be around them and only ran the risk of traumatizing them further if I had stayed.

I ended the relationship with a friend because she kept rejecting every time I ask her to meet, and everybody thinks I'm the asshole
4 things before I start with the story First, english is not my first language and I haven't practiced in a long time. Second, I have avoidant attachment, which it's a important thing in this story. Third, the main characters are the girl, who I'll call morgana(f19), obviously fake name, my brother(m23), that is also friends with her, and me(m19). Lastly, I posted this before but got eliminated because I missed some basic rule(sorry I never post on reddit), so I'm gonna use this chance to do some corrections and clarifications, mostly about the way I phrased things and exagerated some.
Long story short, she's a friend from my brother's college, and I met her one day that I went with my brother to some hang out/reunion, I only wanted free drinks tbh lol, but my brother insisted that she had similar interests and that he saw us being friends. This happened on december of two years ago I think.
We bonded, and so we exchanged phone numbers. She was a lot more outgoing than me, and made some plan for us to go out, as an introverted person, who lost a lot of friends because of the quarantine, (they didn't die, just we were too anxious and depressed to talk lol) this was a new experience for me.
As the time went by, there were some instances in which I did disappear for a while, but nonetheless we were really good friends. On october last year, we made other plans to go out to watch a movie, Plans which she cancelled in the morning of the day we were supposed to go out, I really wasn't mad. On halloween, her friend group, including my brother, were having a party, apparently her parents didn't let her go to this so she was free, so I thought it would be a good chance to hang out, first, I ask her if she wanted to go to the cinema, but she refused bc the movie was gonna take to long and she didn't want to go to her house that late, so finally we decided to watch some scary videos while chatting on discord. After that she kinda started to ghost me for some hours until late in the night when she just told me "I'm going some place else"(she also send me some gifts and said nice thing, but the important part is that she just cancelled the plan only by saying that she was going somewhere else).
This time I did get angry, and send her some messages telling her that she made me feel like her backup plan, which up to a certain point I do think it's true. But because I was bored and needed someone to talk to, I kinda just started talking to her again and downplayed what she did.
The last time she cancelled a plan she did compromise to was on december of the same year, in which I was in a work related thing close to her house, so I just asked her meet up some place close, she accepted but told me that she was cleaning and as soon as she finishes she is going to tell me. 4 hours passed and she just tell me that she ended cleaning late and that she was sorry, but was going to go with her sister to eat or something, once again I wasn't mad.
After that I have to be honest and say that I did hold some resentment torwards her, that and the fact that I was pretty busy studying, just made my avoidant attachment worst and so we just kinda talked once or twice per month (which being honest sometimes happened before this but not as often). After that I just tried to go back to when the friendship was really good, but I still hold some resentment torwards her and she just kept rejecting everytime I proposed to hang out(Edit: It was only two times, I exagerated because I'm a dramatic person lol), I know this sound like I don't know how to take the hint, but, in my defense, she was constantly saying that she wanted to hang out with me, obviously she never tried to make plans, and everytime I did she just rejected them. (Edit: In this part I kinda exagerated, I only ask her to meet up twice I think, the ones explained in the next paragraphs, I made sound like it was a lot of times, but just twice.)
The breaking point was on february of this year, I bought her some valentine gifts as a friendship thing, (Edit: apparently some people thought this was weird, I truly don't get why because where I live it's pretty common to buy friendship gifts on valentine, plus, she had already send me some gifts on halloween claiming I was really good friend and important part of her life) I happened to go close to her house twice because a relative lives in the same area, so I asked her those two times to go to her house just to give her the gifts, it goes without saying, I got rejected again.
That last time I asked was on march(Edit: This was one of the two times I asked, not a different incident. I know, I write like a 12 year old complaining about fortnite or something lol) I think, just to give an idea of how much time I held to those shitty gifts I bought, because she refused to just lend me hand them to her. So, she kinda picked up the vibe that she was making me feel unaprecieted, or I think my brother told her because I did say to him how I was about to just stop talking to her if she kept on doing the same thing. So she tried to make some plans to make up for it, which honestly I would have accepted, but something in my mind just felt wrong, and I just couldn't make the resentment magically go away just because after like 6 months she decided that she should stop rejecting hanging out with me, or at least stop pretending she wanted to.
So I confronted her(Edit: I wasn't trying to fight, I just wanted her to know how I was feeling, I explained her the situationas calm as posible, but I did get angry with some of her responses to some things) being fully honest I was kind of hurtful, I did say one comment that was only to make her feel bad, I told her about her valentine gifts and how I was going to eat the chocolate and if the plushie hasn't been given to her in a week I was probably going to throw it in the garbage, and I blocked her, ( Edit: I read a comment saying that I shouldn't claim I was gonna block her and then block her, I didn't lol, I actually told her I needed some time to think if I wanted to keep the friendship, and then blocked her, as stated in the post, just to have time to think and not feel the need to talk to her, after that I unblocked her, which is stated in this paragrahp, but blocked her again as a final straw because she didn't wish me a happy birthday, it sounds petty, but she told my brother to tell me bc she didn't want to text me, even though my brother reassured her that I would have appreciated that, I thought it was the final straw, and also thought that the friendship was never gonna be the same) which apparently was what hurt her the most, because of some personal things that I wasn't aware of. I did unblocked her some time after that only to apologize for saying those things, and clarify that I only blocked her because I needed time to think and not feel the need to talk to her. (Edit: Part of the reasons I was hurtful is that she tried to justify herself by saying things I knew were lies, most remarkable saying that she didn't hang out with anybody during the time she didn't meet up with me, which was a lie because my brother did hang out with her, and her whatsapp stories did show her out couple of times, I don't watch stories, so I only know the times the preview story show her out, which was once or twice. Not justifying my actions, I acted like an asshole and I regret it)
Basically, everybody thinks I'm the asshole because of my avoidant attachment how that has ruined some of my previous friendships. (Edit: I did present some moments of avoidant attachment, through the whole friendship, but we always went back to talking as normal and friendly as usual. For the people that thought I was obsessed with her, after reading the original post I understand it, but as I said before, I exagerated a lot. Lastly, I don't think I misjudged the closeness we had, because she sent me gifts once in a while, and as said before sent me a halloween gift claiming I was an important part of her life. Last clarification, the amount of time I asked her to meet up where 3, technically 4 but on halloween she also planned it with me so i'm not counting it, the three times she cancelled last minute 2 of them were her ideas to meet, and the last three times were my idea to meet.) (Last edit: The reason I brought avoidant attachment its because she vaguely told me in the last fight that she felt that talking to me was like talking to a wall because of how long I could disappear, she also told her in more detail to my brother that my avoidant attachment made her feel bad. Now, since the beginning of the friendship I tried to prioritize communication and being open with each other about things that bother us, that's why since the beginning of the friendship I warn her that I had AA and that if she didn't like that we could be just casual friends and not try to get more close, she told me that it was ok and she just didn't mind, I would have expected that if she started to dislike that part of me she could have told me and I would have tried twice as harder to beat my AA or at least try to talk to her really often, but instead she didn't said anything and kept on acting like we were as close as we were on the best moments of our friendship).
I wanna know if this was my fault or If I acted in a poor way, before the final confrontation. Plus some people express that maybe the relantionship can be saved, if we both take time to express both of our feelings so... ¿what do you guys think?
TLDR: I ended the relationship with a friend because she kept rejecting every time I ask her to meet, and everybody thinks I'm the asshole because I have avoidant attachment

I’m just here to vent. I (25F) been in an on again off again situation with my ‘ex’ (22F) for three years. (I just refer to her as such because it’s easier but depending on the day you ask her she’ll say we either dated or never did). I don’t even think there is space for me to go into depth as to how much abuse I’ve endured with her. Lovebombing, gaslighting, manipulating, lying etc. With the exception of me, all relationships she has been in has resulted in extreme physical, emotional and sexual abuse at the hands of another partner. When she and I ‘dated’ last year, an ex of hers who beat her was still harassing and threatening her and I got heavily involved, even having to call the police in her city because the ex gave me a heads up and said she was going to seriously harm her…if you get my drift. I tried my best to love her as anyone deserved to be loved, support her in this very uncomfortable situation but she said all my efforts, sacrifices, etc were not enough. She even said that I was the worst abuser she ever had when i said that I couldn’t do this anymore, and guilt tripped me into staying on the phone for an hour to hear about how I’m an abuser, because she “won’t be silenced again.”
I allowed it but once I was able to realize how much I was harmed a few months later, I sent her a letter via text detailing how she hurt me, but I felt that if it meant that she’d still be alive and safe, I’d go through it again to keep her safe. In retaliation to that text, she doxxed me on twitter and called me a “child lover” if you get my drift for dating her. She was 18.5 when we first met and i had just turned 22, freshman and senior in college (she even lied and said i was 24 when we first met), and in truth she pursued me. She claimed i preyed on her even though the most we had ever done is kiss since we are long distance, and claimed that i stalked her from relationship to relationship she was in, which is just not true. I had just gotten accepted into grad school and she threatened that she would contact my school, and track down my abusive father. I think it’s ironic that i had to damn near pressure her to be vocal about actual abuse she endured but with me, she made up lies. For whatever reason, she had to build a narrative that she was a victim. I was bombarded with phone calls and a texts, and my school was contacted, but i was still able to enroll, slated to graduate this December.
I lived in fear for months, I kept checking her social media, as did my friends, to make sure she wasn’t saying anything more or worse. I’m a very spiritual person so my guides have been adamant that forgiveness is the way and I was stubborn but I got there. I really did. She reached out to me earlier this year out of the blue to apologize for everything she said and did, and say that she saw what I was seeing, and recognized that I was just trying to advocate for her and love her. I was hesitant but I let her back in. I was open about how I was in school, but i am suffering from homelessness and its affected my mental health. She love bombed me said that she was still in love with me and said that she wasn’t going to mess up this time and that she was here to help. . I obviously was frozen and couldn’t say it back, I was scared. She noticed and was like “Let’s change the topic.” I slept on it , and decided that she was going to get another chance but she blocked and ghosted me the next day. Two weeks later she’s claiming she’s dating someone else. It sucked.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago, my dumbass reached out for her birthday. I know I’m attached, she kept showing up in my dreams as though she was in trouble. She let me back in and started venting about this new partner who is abusive and hits her. She explains why she left me earlier, which is where she reveals she was diagnosed with BPD and is in cognitive behavioral therapy where I’m allegedly a hot topic of conversation. She said she needs someone doing worse than her in life, and I dont fit that. She said she didn’t like that I didn’’t say I love you back, and that she knows what she did was petty and childish. She said again she was still in love with me, kept saying “I dont know,” but again, wasn’t in a rush to leave the situation she was in, while knowing how the pattern we’re repetitive . I didn’t want to pressure her or be authoritative over the matter because it’s sensitive. She ended the night saying that she was single and looking in my direction once more. But then I woke up the next day blocked again, and I wasn’t letting that slide. It became clear that her partner got involved and was using her phone. Whenever her partner was around she would bark at me, saying that I’m manipulating her emotionally and spiritually, but when she was alone she was unblocking my number and trying to get in touch with me. I let it go on for a few days still looking for resources, coming up with a safety plan for her, until her partner texted me from her phone calling me a predator, mocking me for being homeless, saying i hit my ex (a lie) and threatening to contact my school. I know that this narrative, all of it, came directly from my ex, her partner wouldn’t have coincidentally make that up. The same trauma i experienced last year, I was living it again. The same thing she apologized for, she was doing it to me again. Someone she claims to love, and wants a family with, etc. I sent one final text to her again, calling out what she had done, and in response she did the thing where she ignores the majority of the text holding her accountable for her actions, and deflects and ended up threatening me about harassment and getting attorneys involved.
I was on the phone with my friend earlier today and she revealed to me that she was recently diagnosed with BPD. She mentioned that I could be a “FP” to my ex, but I’m not quite sure. For me, I feel shitty for still holding out for her, a part of me believing that she and I could be endgame. It feels like feeling that way is a HUGE disservice to myself and my growth. I fixate on things so doing research about BPD has been my latest thing, just to make sense of what I’ve been through. My friends, my therapists, and even ChatGPT have all collectively agreed that i was emotionally abused and manipulated by her. She’s made me feel that i am unworthy of love, that I will never be loved or chosen, and I’m honestly scared to trust,, be vulnerable, or just simply love, but that is something I am determined to unlearn.
If you made it. This far, thanks fro reading, and if there’’s anything you’d like to suggest or, advise, I’m all ears. Much love. <3

I am ‘35/F’ and I’m looking for advice or insight on a situation. I was close with a gay guy friend for 6 years ‘42/M’ and we worked together for 3 of those years. We had what I thought was a pretty strong friendship. We knew one another pretty well and were there for each during some really tough times, including during the pandemic. Our friendship ended up having a falling out just for a year ago (Feb 2023) as he began dating someone struggling with drug addition that would go missing. This friend relied on me for support during those times that their boyfriend went missing and I was always there. This eventually took a toll on me after having it happen 4 times in the span of 5 months and we had a big fight in June of 2022. We did not speak for 4 months then reconciled but the friendship was not the same after that. After a period of time, in Feb of 23, the friend texted me telling me they were going to be spending the majority of their time with their partner with the partner moving closer to them. I didn’t take it well at the time and ended up cutting them out of my life at the time from the continual hurt and drama that was going on. After six months I tried to reach out to this person to reconcile but they did not reply to me and told a mutual friend of ours to tell me not to reach out again at that time. I re-blocked this person on social media and gave them space. I’ve been running into them around the same areas I go to for coffee and lunch sometimes lately and though they haven’t seen me, I’ve seen them (we work in different departments at a college campus). One of my coworkers who knows about the situation encouraged me to try reach out again as it had been 9 months since I last attempted to reach out. I sent a letter in the mail to let them know that I was wishing them and their friend partner well and that I was still here if they ever wanted to reconnect or catch up and left my number. I also unblocked this person on Instagram and Facebook. While unblocking on Instagram, I saw they had made their profile public and looked at their story after sending the letter to subtly show I had unblocked them. 24 hours later they blocked me on Instagram and never responded to me. I feel like I’ve done my best to show this person that I don’t harbor hard feelings anymore and made a true effort to reconnect. Is there a chance this person will ever be open to reconciling?

We were college sweethearts, but for the length of our then 3+ year relationship I had seeds of doubt here and there. Would I be happier with someone else, would she be happier with someone else? We never even really had serious issues, never had many arguments, and overall the relationship was perfect. We had just come back that winter from a couple trip where I gave her a promise ring. But still over time I found myself in doubt, like a gnawing feeling asking “What if..?” Sometimes I found myself thinking of my ex before her, the only other serious relationship I had. I never seriously entertained it thinking the idea in itself so far-fetched. This ex was out of my life for some time between the end of high school and the end of college. We weren’t on a talking basis whatsoever.
Then the pandemic came. Everything changed so fast and radically. My girlfriend, living with elderly family, insisted we could no longer see each other during the onset of Corona. At the time, knowing absolutely nothing about coronavirus and the truly rare circumstances we were in, I just felt genuine hurt and disappointment. I thought she wanted an excuse to end things or take space or whatever. We didn’t know what “immunocompromised” meant. Things that felt so random and hard to understand that ultimately were beyond selfish looking back.
The thought of me running into my first ex had never occurred to me and I’m not the type to look for it but one day it happened, just after a bit of time dealing with this new space between my and my girlfriend. We lived much closer than me and my girlfriend and I saw her randomly out at a restaurant. I was beyond pleased to see her, and just like that I was in the DMs that same night. It was immediately back on but at the expense of playing serious games with the love of my life. To be clear, I took her request for space as a legit desire to separate and solidified it as a “break”. Not truly understanding the gravity of the situation, that it really was dangerous to see each other, that her family really was at risk. Her grandpa passed away that Spring and her mother went into serious Covid treatment. I was with my ex maybe a month or two now thinking all of this was beyond wrong.
The stint with my ex didn’t last long, as she herself was visiting home from abroad and had a college boyfriend she was “on break” from as well. Frankly I didn’t expect that part either. This lead to some devastatingly traumatic arguments between us and now me and this ex are fully no contact. My girlfriend, bless her soul, was somehow still open to us after all of that and yet I came back still with uncertainty, the last thing she deserved. I came to her crying about the situation with the ex, about her, about myself and remorse and ultimately I still felt I didn’t know what I wanted. This ordeal lasted maybe from March 2020 to October 2020. Details are hazy but just at the end when I knew I was ready to commit is when she decided it wasn’t up to me anymore. We had the worst, biggest, possibly even the only fight we had in our entire relationship. I’d never said nastier words to a woman who deserved it the least and worst of all over fear of rejection. In the end I got nasty, manipulative and malicious towards the one person in my life that’s ever meant the most to me.
We’d been no contact ever since. She had me blocked for a while, maybe more than a year.
Now I’m the bitter ex, and I know I have only myself to blame. I don’t even know why I wrote all of this, I’m the bad guy in the story. I’ve since had close family of my own die, and the absolute worst feeling is above all, wishing for that call from her for condolences or comfort or anything.
All I know is that 4 years later there hasn’t been a day gone by I don’t think of her, of us, the standards she set in my life, the beautiful relationship we had, and ultimately how wrong I did her. I’m still on socials, watching, she unblocked me a long time ago, and she’s since moved on seemingly in a relationship almost as long as if not longer than ours. This fucking breaks me. It really does. I’m ready to crash out on a whim on any given day. It was just her birthday and I still see the same ugly motherfucker with a receding hairline and eyes like Sid from Ice Age holding her.
Every year I think I’m getting better, closer to over it. Sometimes I think I just don’t want to be over it. I think of shit like the multiverse and how I’m probably the worst version of me, like Everything Eveywhere. Every other version of me got the girl and I’m just stuck watching her move on.

Until my college days I was very proactive and was easy to approach women and have a good impression about myself. This I guess was because we were forced to stay in a school/college for years, forced to talked to new people and that madethe deal to be easy. But after college, I don't actually meet new people and the place I work is very small (in terms of head count) where I was spending my max time and now I'm in wfh which doesn't let me go places and approach women because I usually don't go anywhere alone. I ask atleast one friend to come if I want to watch a movie or try a new restaurant. Friends are damn busy with their personal life and we meet very rarely. Even if I find a new women in my life interesting and approach her, idk what to dk next.
Last year i found a women really really interesting and she too felt like interested in building conversation with me but after 2 3 days, i was able to get her number and texted her which didn't go well. I got the feeling from the conversation for the couple of days that she's not interested. Since we didn't know each other i couldn't able to bring a common thing to talk about (and she wasn't that involved in talking about her stuffs). one fine day she just blocked me 1 or 2 months before. man I was really interested in her but i just gave up considering her response but now i was randomly scrolling and found out that she unblocked me. i didn't message her because I have a feeling that she'll block me again if i message her.
There are few more things like that. See I don't wanna look like a weirdo so i don't approach women until I obviously got a positive signal from them or else I'll just don't even try. I know for a women I'm just one more guy but for a guy it's always the one shot or not shot because i never get our dms fludded.
I wanna grow myself to be a better person in approaching women. What advice would you give me with my flashbacks?

Half of my soda gun is blocked! It's working and tastes fine, just makes for a very frothy drink! Gotta pour in bursts otherwise it ruins the pour 😅🙃
Tried soaking in soda and cleaning with plain hot water and a brush, can't seem to get into the holes and unblock whatever is there ?
My college suggested somekind of descale or denture tablets? 😅👌

Half of my soda gun is blocked! It's working and tastes fine, just makes for a very frothy drink! Gotta pour in bursts otherwise it ruins the pour 😅🙃
Tried soaking in soda and cleaning with plain hot water and a brush, can't seem to get into the holes and unblock whatever is there ?
My college suggested somekind of descale or denture tablets? 😅👌

Three months ago, she told me that she didn't want to be with me anymore. I asked her what had happened and why she was saying that. She said nothing and just blocked me everywhere. Two days later, she suddenly unblocked me on WhatsApp. I asked her why she left me and begged her to tell me. She said it was because she didn't like my mom. I asked her what my mom had done, and she explained that my mom had told her mom that she was a good fit for me, and her mom didn't like it. So she left me. I asked why she hadn't told me that before, and she said she just didn't feel like it. I asked her when my mom had said that, and she told me it was 5-6 months ago. I asked again why she hadn't told me earlier, and she repeated that she just didn't feel like it.
A week later, she came back to me, crying and saying she wanted me back. Without any hesitation, I told her yes because I missed her so much and I loved her. Everything was going fine until May 11, 2024, when she told me she didn't want to be with me anymore. I asked what I had done and begged her not to leave me, but she said it just wasn't working out.
I found out she left me again because she was dating another guy and I caught her. To make me feel bad, she blamed everything on me. Then, on May 15, 2024, she called me again and said she was sorry and that she wanted me back because she felt lost without me in college. Without thinking, I said yes again because I love her so much.
An hour later, she called me again and said, "No, I don't want to be with you anymore. Did I break you enough?" I told her to get lost and hung up, crying with a broken heart. Now, I'm writing this.
And you know what? May 31, 2024, is our 2-year anniversary.
Please help me.

Hello all, I have server hosted minecraft servers modded and vanilla for some time now. I ran into some issues when i first started getting into it but consider myself a pro at this point in time. I recently have been unable to connect to my servers as of March of this year. We had our internet upgraded and Received a new modem and router as a result of our old router failing in November. However after getting everything set up and port forwarded I had no other issues. It worked fine till March, I just got home from college and began to trouble shoot this issue and tried to make a pixelmon reforged server for it. I have tried everything I can think of to try to fix this issue including calling my ISP (Spectrum) to see if we can resolve this. Their only thing left to do is to replace the router with a new one from them or a third party. If you have any idea on what I can do let me know.
Things I have tried to do:
First i created the server through the ATlauncher. I was able to run the server fine and connect using my private IP. I then tried using my public IP and recieved the following error "io.netty.channel.AbstractChannel$AnnotatedConnectException: Connection timed out: no further information:" first thing i did was make sure the port was open on my windows defender fire wall. Made two new rules for port 25565 on both TCP & UDP for both inbound and outbound and did the same on the computer i was using to connect to the server. Still gave the same error. Then I tried port forwarding the router. This was the first issue I ran into, when trying to port forward 25565 on my router I get an error tried this a few time before i called spectrum, according to them on the router I have that port is disabled for "security reasons" and the only way to "unblock" it is with a new router. figured id just put the server on a different port. I changed the server to 25566 and ran through the same trouble shooting as before with no luck. this time i was able to port forward 25566 but with the same io.netty error. Thinking it might be something to do with java i clean installed java with the version of SDK for that server same error. Completely disabled my windows defender, same error. Tried creating a server for 1.20.6 (latest release), walked through all the steps, YouTube video and all. but instead I receive this error when trying to connect Connection timed out: getsockopt. I talked with a friend who know more about servers than me. His response was "The maths not mathing". I called spectrum a second time and walked through every troubleshooting method they had. Included but not limited to trying it with uPNP on/off, restarting router, modem, and all devices on the network, clearing all ports and reserved IPs, disabling and re-enabling the security shield. Nothing worked the guy I was on the phone with has no clue why I cant host a server. He recommended getting a new spectrum router so my public address resets, and then if that doesn't work to purchase a 3rd party router to manage myself. I wanted to try a few things before doing that. So I sent the server files to two friends. one uses spectrum one does not, neither have any ports forwarded and have never hosted servers before. walked through the same process with both of them and the friend with spectrum could also only connect locally while the other that doesn't have spectrum we could connect to. I am lost and am convinced spectrum just sucks and won't admit that they don't let you server host anymore.
TL:DR - Tried all trouble shooting i can think of, spectrum told me to get a new router because they cant figure it out either
Any ideas or help would be much appreciated.