Happy Wednesday, Barkada --

The PSE lost 49 points to 6634 ▼0.7%

Shout-out to Jing for alerting me to the crypto pump, to Rat Race Running for knowing that when talking about FILRT it's all about the context, to Atot for the positive feedback on Raymund's "would you rather" question on DDMPFILRT, to ApCap for simply laughing at FILRT, to Bestpupever for remembering MVP's botched Skycable deal, to grinsken, princessybyang, VodkaMartini_007, and Nv21 for the happy bday wishes, and to arkitrader for the accurate Tuesday meme.

▌In today's MB:

• VREIT Q1 div drops 23% q/q
• Ayala Land sells P3.2-B block of AREIT
• Figaro confirms "double-digit growth" plan
• Alliance Global injects P2.6-B into Megaworld

▌Daily meme Subscribe (it's free) Today's email

▌Main stories covered:

• [DIVS] VistaREIT Q1 dividend drops 23% q/q... VistaREIT [VREIT 1.75 ▲0.6%; 0% avgVol] [link] declared a Q1/24 dividend of ₱0.04132, payable on June 27 to shareholders of record as of June 5. The dividend has an annualized yield of 9.4% based on the previous closing price, which is considerably smaller than VREIT’s pre-dividend yield of 12.3%. The total amount of the dividend is ₱310 million, which is 100% of the ₱310 million in distributable income that VREIT declared for the quarter. Relative to VREIT’s IPO price, the div increased VREIT’s total stock and dividend return to 18.55% (up from 16.19%). The VREIT Q1 dividend is up 5.4% y/y, but down 23.2% q/q.
  
  • MB: I don’t know enough about VREIT to understand the quarter-on-quarter drop. This is the first dividend decrease in VREIT history, so we don’t have a past narrative of a Q4 to Q1 dip to gain comfort that this is just part of the regular business cycle for a malls-based REIT. Last year, VREIT’s dividend actually increased 1.5% between Q4/22 and Q1/23. But a 23% drop? *FILRT** be like: VREIT, I owe you an apology, I wasn’t familiar with your game. Does anyone have context to help me understand this one?*
• [UPDATE] Ayala Land sells ₱3.2-B worth of AREIT in block sale... Ayala Land [ALI 29.00 ▼2.4%; 121% avgVol] [link] disclosed that it sold 98 million common shares of AREIT [AREIT 33.00 ▼3.4%; 848% avgVol] in a private placement block sale at a price of ₱32.45/share. ALI said that the transaction was two-times oversubscribed at the clearing price, which was 5% under AREIT’s closing price from the previous day. The transaction raised ₱3.18 billion for ALI and increased AREIT’s public float to facilitate the planned property-for-share swap between ALI and AREIT.
  
  • MB: While I didn’t know exactly when this second block sale would happen, I did know that it was going to happen and I speculated back in January that it would probably come as a surprise and at a discounted price to AREIT’s market price at the time. Here’s a link to that analysis if you’re interested. At the end of the day, the first sale was at a 7.2% discount whereas this one was only at 5.0%, and the public float is now prepped to handle the SEC’s eventual approval of the transaction (whenever that happens) without plunging AREIT’s shareholders into chaos and confusion like what happened to *SP New Energy** [SPNEC 1.05 ▼0.9%; 85% avgVol] when the SEC approved its share swap and caught Leandro Leviste’s management team flat-footed.*
• [NEWS] Figaro confirms ₱1-B FY24 capex and “double-digit growth” target... Figaro [FCG 0.75 ▲1.4%; 95% avgVol] [link] confirmed statements made by its Chairman, Justin Liu, in an interview with Manila Bulletin. In that interview, Mr. Liu said that FCG’s FY24 capex target is ₱1 billion, that they’re looking to open 70 to 80 new stores this year, and that he expects this expansion effort to push earnings to grow “double-digits” this year. FCG confirmed all those statements. FCG’s indicated that it would expand from 150 stores at the end of 2022 to 300 stores by the end of 2029.
  
  • MB: According to its Q1/24 press release, FCG ended 2023 with 203 stores after adding 68 stores that year. If FCG were to put up another “70 to 80” stores this year, that would leave it with 273 to 283 total stores by the end of 2024, and give FCG plenty of time (5 years!) to complete the remaining 127 to 117 stores. Usually in the quick service restaurant world, periods of intense growth don’t correspond with periods of great profitability, so the “double digit” earnings growth target is what stands out to me the most. FCG net income was up 7.2% y/y last quarter, and that’s actually considerable given the previous year’s expansion and the current expansion, but that’s not double-digit growth. One thing that confuses me, though, is that in its Q1/23 quarterly report from a year earlier, FCG said that it ended 2022 with 150 stores. If it had 150 stores at the end of 2022 and then added 68 stores in 2023, shouldn’t it have 218 stores by now, not 203? I know, I know: 15 stores isn’t that big of a deal. Maybe it’s just a miscommunication between marketing and operations. Maybe there was a little bit of internal pressure to count 15 nearly-completed stores as completed stores in order to hit that IPO prospectus goal of 150 total stores by the end of 2022, and then they double-counted those 15 stores as part of the 2023 completes? I don’t know. I’m just going by the info they tell me. Any readers have any insight?
• [UPDATE] Alliance Global injects ₱2.6-B into Megaworld... Megaworld [MEG 1.89 ▼0.5%; 156% avgVol] [link] clarified the recent subscription of its parent company, Alliance Global [AGI 9.30 ▼2.8%; 185% avgVol], to 1.375 billion common shares at ₱1.90/share to say that it is part of a plan to increase MEG’s outstanding authorized capital stock by ₱5.5 billion (from ₱40.2 billion to ₱45.7 billion). MEG explained that it “intends to submit its application for increase in authorized capital stock... by around June 2024”, and will list the shares issued to AGI once the full payment of the subscription price is received. MEG said that the purpose of the sale and the larger transaction is for “supporting growth and future business expansions of [MEG] in line with [MEG’s] strategies and directions.”
  
  • MB: Once approved, this will give MEG’s management team 4.125 billion common shares that it can sell to fund its ambitious capex for FY24 and beyond. If MEG sold the remainder at the same ₱1.90/share price, that would bring in an additional ₱7.8 billion. If I were a shareholder, I’d be less concerned by the details of the transaction as I would be about the meaningless word salad of the rationale behind it. I know many MEG shareholders who are frustrated with the stock’s laggard price performance. MEG just recently touched a 12-year low, and is trading at prices that the stock has not seen since early 2012. It’s down 4% year-to-date, down 8.7% over the past 12 months, down 34% over the past 3 years, and down 69% (not nice) from its all-time high that it set back in July 2019. What’s the plan? So far it seems all I hear is “townships townships townships” but that “strategy and direction” hasn’t been profitable for shareholders for almost 5 years now.

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I dropped out of college to play poker for a living and did that successfully for 7 years. Odd jobs/service industry for 6 years. Delivery drivepromoted to Sr Manager of a contracted home delivery operation for a major corporation for past 6 years to present.
Additionally: somatic experience practitioner, compassionate inquiry training (Gabor mate), polarity therapy, yoga instructor, 7 years participating in hundreds of ayahuasca ceremonies. Scattered teaching experience. Gave up on a life coaching LLC.
OTE ~100k this year. No benefits, but sometimes workdays are short, and not particularly demanding. Also not very stimulating, not learning much, and probably at the growth ceiling for this company/franchise (I’m the owner’s right-hand-man).
Bought a condo (interest rates suck), and a puppy, feeling stretched and that’s even with support from my mom on the mortgage. Fiancé is building a business as a therapist. Absorbing some of her startup costs & low income. Would love to find a job/path that meets some/all of the following criteria:
-remote -work with interesting tech -learn new skills -work with intelligent peiple -healthcare -401k matching -room to grow
Really I think a lot of the pressure I’m feeling is around wanting to give my lady the chance to be a full-time mom (and/or part-time worker) should she choose it. And to afford certain lifestyle upgrades and simply have some more peace of mind.
I feel qualified, and confident I could do any number of things well. But, I’m hesitant to “just pick something” because of my stage of life 36 yo and we want to start a family soon, fiancé is 33. Going back to school, even a project manager cert is daunting in terms of initial investment.
My dream would be to find a great job with a great company, wouldn’t care much what I’m doing if it’s stimulating enough and I’m learning and checks the boxes above. Since I don’t have the tech or specific background, it seems like I’d have to backstep salary-wise before I can go forward.
Sales stands out, but seems tough to crack into the tier I’d want to be at without grinding out cold calls first, plus the volatility of working commissions.
Any input/feedback or further questions are welcome and appreciated!

Dude was so close to me, he was literally stepping on my toes. It took everything in me to not throw my tools on the ground and tell the guy go the fuck home and do it himself. I was struggling with the tire machine to mount his "new" tires. Just got a new attachment, didn't have it fully dialed in.
For some unknown reason, the sales guys allowed him to not only be in the shop, not only backseat mechanic every fuckig move I made, but they didn't flinch when he put his hands in the no-no zone of the tire machine.
Like I told the customer: we don't allow that because we're LIABLE FOR IT. If your ape hand gets pinched, guess who gets to deal with it? Us! One of the big reasons I even work on cars is cause I can't fucking stand customers, especially in the automotive industry. We're a dealership, there's a tire shop a mile down the road..
The fact that our sales guys even approved this as I was elbow deep in a project that would've been done if not for this guy just pisses me off, like use common sense, we are NOT a service shop,this being one of the many reasons, like fuck off.
Now boss man is all pissy cause I struggled, acting like I didn't ace hundreds of tire mounts in the past, talking about "don't touch the tire machine until I'm around" motherfucker I mounted yours, and your wife's tires. Fuck this customer. As if today wasn't shitty enough already, I get a wise-ass dropped on me in the last hour of the day, looking up YouTube videos and shit while I'm trying to get shit done. Fuck today.

Hi everyone! I'm curious on some of you all's opinion on this! (I apologize for the bad english as we start since it's not my main language)
Long story short: I'm in my final year of high school and I really want to use macs for my work when I go to university. Anyways, right now I use my main desktop (Ryzen 9 7950x cpu and 4070Ti gpu, 32 Gb of ram and something like 6Tb of storage) both for work and gaming and I really really want to separate my workflows, gaming on windows, and work on macos.
I already have an "old" M1 MacBook pro 13 inch, but I would really like to either upgrade it to a better MacBook (currently debating M2 Pro vs M2 Max since 1. I've been hearing meh stuff about the M3 lineup 2. They are on sale right now), or just get a Mac Studio. I really don't know which one to go for!
What I plan to do with it: - make projects with the Microsoft Office lineup of programs like word, excel and powerpoint; - coding, I mainly use Code::Blocks (I DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE IT WAS FORCED UPPON ME, OK?) right now but I plan to switch to something else after high school; - watch media; - I also really need 2 monitors so... (I'll use the MacBook with a stand and a 2nd monitor attached if I'd have it, but I'd use 2 monitors with the Mac Studio)
My curent M1 MacBook Pro is *enough* right now I should say? But I don't know how it would hold up in the future, especially another 4 years of university. It's the 2020 base model and I have it since release afterall it's sort of showing it's age? 8gb of ram and 256gb of storage isnt really enough for me, but the battery still holds amazingly! 99% health and only 65~ ish battery cycles (can you tell I didnt rly use it much, I just couldnt get it to run Word or Powerpoint idk why and I gave up on it for a few years). But in recent times I find myself actually using it more and more and thats why I really wanted to ask the question:
Should I get the MacBook Pro with M2 Pro/Max or the M2 ultra MacStudio?

[TLDR at the end]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSGDSkeUB5E&ab_channel=JAMETIME
I highly recommend you watch the whole video if you haven't already (it has English subtitles). But, here's the relevant bits about CS2's current state, where he mainly talks about gunplay differences between CSGO and CS2, all in the backdrop of the current state of peeker's advantage in CS2.
The video was uploaded on Mar 11, 2024, ~1 month after the big Arms Race update that fixed the egregious peeker's advantage. I think most of his comments still fairly applies to how the game feels right now.

We all know that online the game is worse than on LAN. It's obvious. The game gets better each day, but I wouldn't say it's even 80% as good as CS:GO was. The [excellent] feature [of CS2] is not mechanics, it's the visuals and so on. And some fundamental things, which we are used to, stay as unpolished. Like peeks, strafes. It seems that all the people became kind of less skilled.
But when you've been playing the game for years, on a subconscious level you, for instance, come here, crouch in [mirage] Window, and you know you can make two shots and run away. But in reality you can't do that. Unfortunately, the game has changed. It became simpler. If you were pressing W non-stop, you now have an advantage, because you're used to it.
Right now you can't stand or do a frag. That's what I understood playing this game. You can't just stand right now.
In comparison with my previous video, you can see the difference between donk and s1mple in terms of movement. The majority of the players try to adapt and move like donk. All this constant movement.
There is no such thing as crosshair placement at the moment. In CS:GO, it was a basis of the game. You could have bad movement, but if you placed your crosshair right, you were good. Right now, you have to move good, and the crosshair placement will help you, but once your enemy gains speed, it won't help you. If a guy peeks you like this, in CS:GO this peek would look like hot garbage. Dude peeks you with a Shift and Ctrl! This is shocking. In CS:GO, you spray him the hell down. But in this game you've got advantage. Especially if your ping is 5 against ping 20 or something, you're a god in this game. And don't even get me started on FPS or good PCs, your financial status, how rich you are.
There's this thing in CS2—You feel invincible the first second or half a second when you peek someone. If you press the buttons precisely and have a good speed—I'm telling from my DM and games experience, I feel myself invincible. The peeker has an opportunity to strafe, think for a few milliseconds (maybe for the famous 7 milliseconds). And then aim precisely, all the while the enemy has to do an insane shot. Anyway, if you don't hit the head with the first shot, you no longer have the advantage.

TLDR summary (rephrased):

• He thinks the mechanics of peeking, holding, shooting still isn't satisfactory in CS2.
• I inferred from all this that he thinks the way peeker's advantage currently works in CS2 at different pings is much different compared to CSGO, which has changed the dynamics of fights in CS2, and likely nerfed some of the good gunplay skills from CSGO.
• He touches on the topic of how we need really good PCs to run the game properly.

So me(33f) and my son(7m) were at Walmart we had just gotten inside and and we're trying to grab a cart mind you there are 6 freaking spots so get a damn cart and only one person behind us(why she was waiting behind us I have no idea) so the first cart I tried to grab was stuck stuck to another one so I grabbed a different one and my kid jumped on the side of it I'm like no get down so he gets to climb into the basket as this woman behind us was huffing(for no reason crazy lady grab a different cart from the 5 other spots) she throws her hands up and with all the attitude in the world says "oh well I just grab one of these other carts" while giving me the death glare like me and and my son were in her way. She grabs her cart all pissy sneers at me again and almost runs into me(I was off to the side getting my kid situated in the cart not even remotely in the way) as she's basically speed waking away she feels the need to loud as shit say "ugh some people and their spawn" I ignored her bc I'm not about to argue with a grown woman in front of my child but that was all and I can't stand the entitlement from done ppl. English is not my first language sorry for any errors.

Outcrop Silver and Gold is a junior mining company focused on advancing its primary silver project, Santa Ana, towards production. With recent leadership changes and strategic goals, the company is positioned to capitalize on the expected silver market uptrend.
Leadership and Strategic Direction
•⁠ ⁠New Leadership: A new CEO, Ian Harriss, has taken the reins following Joe Hebert, who is now a director. The current CEO, a mining engineer, is committed to transitioning Santa Ana from an exploration project to an operational mine.
•⁠ ⁠Nearby Producers: The project is situated near producing mines operated by Aris and Zijin, indicating a favourable mining district and potential synergies.
Santa Ana Project Highlights
Primary Silver Resource:
* Silver-Dominant: Approximately 75% of the resource is silver, distinguishing Santa Ana as a true primary silver project.
* High Grade: The project boasts very high silver grades, placing it among the top-tier silver projects globally.
Metallurgical Recoveries:
* High Recoveries: Santa Ana achieves recoveries of 93% for silver and 97% for gold.
* Concentrate Quality: The project produces a high-quality concentrate with grades of 9,488 grams per tonne (g/t) of silver and 128 g/t of gold.
* Marketable Concentrate: The low levels of base metals in the concentrate make it highly marketable with favorable sale terms.
High Payability:
* Value Capture: Outcrop can produce silver doré with high payability, unlike typical silver production in zinc or lead concentrates, which often results in receiving only about 75% of the metal value.
Current Resource and Exploration Potential
•⁠ ⁠Current Resource: Santa Ana's current resource stands at 37.7 million ounces of silver equivalent (Moz AgEq).
•⁠ ⁠Expansion Potential: This figure represents only a portion of the project's potential, as less than one-third of the known veins are included in the current resource estimate.
•⁠ ⁠Drilling Goals: The company aims to significantly expand the resource through an aggressive drilling program, targeting a resource size of over 100 Moz AgEq.
Economic Viability and Future Plans
•⁠ ⁠Economic Viability: Outcrop is focused on demonstrating the economic potential of Santa Ana as a mine. This involves de-risking the project and showcasing its financial feasibility.
•⁠ ⁠Strategic Outlook: With the gold/silver ratio breaking down, Outcrop is well-positioned to benefit from silver's expected outperformance. The company is gearing up to capitalize on the next leg up in the silver bull market.
Outcrop Silver and Gold is advancing its high-grade, primary silver project, Santa Ana, with a clear focus on transitioning to production. The project boasts high recoveries, a marketable concentrate, and significant expansion potential. With strategic leadership and a robust drilling program, Outcrop aims to establish Santa Ana as a major silver mine, positioning itself to benefit from the anticipated silver market uptrend.
https://x.com/CEOTechnician/status/1793015919133839829
*Posted on behalf of Outcrop Silver and Gold Corp.

Outcrop Silver and Gold is a junior mining company focused on advancing its primary silver project, Santa Ana, towards production. With recent leadership changes and strategic goals, the company is positioned to capitalize on the expected silver market uptrend.
Leadership and Strategic Direction
•⁠ ⁠New Leadership: A new CEO, Ian Harriss, has taken the reins following Joe Hebert, who is now a director. The current CEO, a mining engineer, is committed to transitioning Santa Ana from an exploration project to an operational mine.
•⁠ ⁠Nearby Producers: The project is situated near producing mines operated by Aris and Zijin, indicating a favourable mining district and potential synergies.
Santa Ana Project Highlights
Primary Silver Resource:
* Silver-Dominant: Approximately 75% of the resource is silver, distinguishing Santa Ana as a true primary silver project.
* High Grade: The project boasts very high silver grades, placing it among the top-tier silver projects globally.
Metallurgical Recoveries:
* High Recoveries: Santa Ana achieves recoveries of 93% for silver and 97% for gold.
* Concentrate Quality: The project produces a high-quality concentrate with grades of 9,488 grams per tonne (g/t) of silver and 128 g/t of gold.
* Marketable Concentrate: The low levels of base metals in the concentrate make it highly marketable with favorable sale terms.
High Payability:
* Value Capture: Outcrop can produce silver doré with high payability, unlike typical silver production in zinc or lead concentrates, which often results in receiving only about 75% of the metal value.
Current Resource and Exploration Potential
•⁠ ⁠Current Resource: Santa Ana's current resource stands at 37.7 million ounces of silver equivalent (Moz AgEq).
•⁠ ⁠Expansion Potential: This figure represents only a portion of the project's potential, as less than one-third of the known veins are included in the current resource estimate.
•⁠ ⁠Drilling Goals: The company aims to significantly expand the resource through an aggressive drilling program, targeting a resource size of over 100 Moz AgEq.
Economic Viability and Future Plans
•⁠ ⁠Economic Viability: Outcrop is focused on demonstrating the economic potential of Santa Ana as a mine. This involves de-risking the project and showcasing its financial feasibility.
•⁠ ⁠Strategic Outlook: With the gold/silver ratio breaking down, Outcrop is well-positioned to benefit from silver's expected outperformance. The company is gearing up to capitalize on the next leg up in the silver bull market.
Outcrop Silver and Gold is advancing its high-grade, primary silver project, Santa Ana, with a clear focus on transitioning to production. The project boasts high recoveries, a marketable concentrate, and significant expansion potential. With strategic leadership and a robust drilling program, Outcrop aims to establish Santa Ana as a major silver mine, positioning itself to benefit from the anticipated silver market uptrend.
https://x.com/CEOTechnician/status/1793015919133839829
*Posted on behalf of Outcrop Silver and Gold Corp.

Outcrop Silver and Gold is a junior mining company focused on advancing its primary silver project, Santa Ana, towards production. With recent leadership changes and strategic goals, the company is positioned to capitalize on the expected silver market uptrend.
Leadership and Strategic Direction
•⁠ ⁠New Leadership: A new CEO, Ian Harriss, has taken the reins following Joe Hebert, who is now a director. The current CEO, a mining engineer, is committed to transitioning Santa Ana from an exploration project to an operational mine.
•⁠ ⁠Nearby Producers: The project is situated near producing mines operated by Aris and Zijin, indicating a favourable mining district and potential synergies.
Santa Ana Project Highlights
Primary Silver Resource:
* Silver-Dominant: Approximately 75% of the resource is silver, distinguishing Santa Ana as a true primary silver project.
* High Grade: The project boasts very high silver grades, placing it among the top-tier silver projects globally.
Metallurgical Recoveries:
* High Recoveries: Santa Ana achieves recoveries of 93% for silver and 97% for gold.
* Concentrate Quality: The project produces a high-quality concentrate with grades of 9,488 grams per tonne (g/t) of silver and 128 g/t of gold.
* Marketable Concentrate: The low levels of base metals in the concentrate make it highly marketable with favorable sale terms.
High Payability:
* Value Capture: Outcrop can produce silver doré with high payability, unlike typical silver production in zinc or lead concentrates, which often results in receiving only about 75% of the metal value.
Current Resource and Exploration Potential
•⁠ ⁠Current Resource: Santa Ana's current resource stands at 37.7 million ounces of silver equivalent (Moz AgEq).
•⁠ ⁠Expansion Potential: This figure represents only a portion of the project's potential, as less than one-third of the known veins are included in the current resource estimate.
•⁠ ⁠Drilling Goals: The company aims to significantly expand the resource through an aggressive drilling program, targeting a resource size of over 100 Moz AgEq.
Economic Viability and Future Plans
•⁠ ⁠Economic Viability: Outcrop is focused on demonstrating the economic potential of Santa Ana as a mine. This involves de-risking the project and showcasing its financial feasibility.
•⁠ ⁠Strategic Outlook: With the gold/silver ratio breaking down, Outcrop is well-positioned to benefit from silver's expected outperformance. The company is gearing up to capitalize on the next leg up in the silver bull market.
Outcrop Silver and Gold is advancing its high-grade, primary silver project, Santa Ana, with a clear focus on transitioning to production. The project boasts high recoveries, a marketable concentrate, and significant expansion potential. With strategic leadership and a robust drilling program, Outcrop aims to establish Santa Ana as a major silver mine, positioning itself to benefit from the anticipated silver market uptrend.
https://x.com/CEOTechnician/status/1793015919133839829
*Posted on behalf of Outcrop Silver and Gold Corp.

Lol, I thought this would be funny to write about as a first silly little post as it is the most interesting thing in my life. (Don’t mind any typos)
First of all, to anyone who wants to tell me to stop or get over it or give me any valid reasonable and rational advice,I will not listen so don’t bother.
As these stories go, I 15(f) in love with English teacher 26(f). I’m obsessed with her, and have been for almost msot 2 years, it would have been longer if she had come into my life sooner.
I’m not a love at first sight person, so it took a while for it to come about. And iv always had problems with getting violently obsessed with things, I believe it’s some kind of coping mechanism, you know? If I don’t have something to live for then I fall in love with something, subconsciously of course. First it was cartoon characters then celebrity’s and the for the first time a real person who I know in real life! (Except she’s my teacher and she’s 26) but also the first woman iv ever fallen for (iv always known Im pan so it wasn’t a shock really). I think another HUGE reason I love her is because I don’t have a mother, she was abusive, druggy, alcoholic yadi-yadi-yada, and so I don’t live with her and I don’t like her and she isn’t there for me, and so I meet a kind female adult who I look up to? Obviously I get attached and I see her as a mother figure. I really do, I want to be just like her, I want to make her proud, I seek her validation, i want to fuck her. You know, regular motherly things!
The first day I met her, first day of year 10. From the second she walked into the class I felt her energy and her vibes and I had that feeling where you instantly like someone and want to be friends with them and think they are super cool. Now, she is not hot, like Obviously to me me right now in this moment she’s the most beautiful and pretty person iv ever seen she’s so cute and hot and all that, but Obviously that’s because I’m obsessed with her everything about her is great, but she’s the kind of ugly that when she first walked into the class people snickered.
She has a rash on her chin, a noticeable moustache, she looks at least 30 despite being much younger, her eyes are creepy looking and small, her skin is really red and dry and way too textured, she does weird ugly facial expressions, she has a big nose, her hair is never brushed and always greasy, she has really small eyelashes blah blah blah.. (she obviously has some really nice features as well, but I’m trying to prove i don’t like her for her looks)
Now In her defence I think they were laughing because she has the hugest ass iv seen in my entire life, not cuz of her face. (She wears really tight leggings everyday) But, she is overweight and a lot of people bring her down cuz of it but that has nothing to do with any of it for me obviously, and I obviously didn’t laugh when she walked in.
The point is, I instantly liked her and her personality, she has that school mum vibe, she’s witty she’s confident she’s loud, she’s funny, she’s so weird (like she does and says the weirdest stuff, she’ll start dancing out of no where with no warning, she shortens words all the time and then says them three times like: “fab fab fab” she has just the weirdest tendencies and mannerisms it’s insane), shes always so exited and jolly, she’s like a ball of sunshine yet at the same time she’s so sassy and passive aggressive, when I’m older I wanna be just like her you know!
And that’s how I felt for a long time, I would just enjoy her lessons because of the energy and vibes she’d bring! She makes everything so much fun just by being there, she’s also a drama teacher so she’s great at getting a crowd going and stuff. But it seemed no one else liked her, they either fat shamed her, or said she was a bitch, or found her annoying.
They aren’t wrong she is all of those things, but she’s only a bitch to you if you don’t respect her and then she’s passive aggressive and makes your time in her class hell, and as her favourite student who kissed her ass everyday it was fun for me to watch people get roasted by her and never have to worry about it. She is annoying to a lot of people because she hypes everyone up, and she’s loud and obnoxious and confident, she laughs at her own jokes and she’s giggly and she does stupid accents, she’s the walking talking definition of “QUIRKY” and so 15 year olds find her incredibly cringey and jarring. But as an immature individual my self I found her energy like something I have never seen anyone have so i from the first day thought she was my favourite teacher ever!
I often take the role of like comic relief when it comes to my friends so I often make the joke myself, and once I felt this admiration for my English teacher, and this giddy happy feeling in me when I saw her, I thought it would be a great idea to pretend/ hint to having a crush on her to my friends as a joke so they can make fun of me. It was small things like “oh my english teacher! … oh.. I liiiiikkkee herrrrrrrr~!” Id day when people mention her, no one caught onto the joke for a couple months until one day, after a holiday I had dyed my hair and she walked past me and she complimented it, I thanked her and INSTANTLY MY HEART WAS POUNDING AND I GOT ALL GIGGLING, my friend was next to me and found it funny obviously. And then the more I went to her lessons I couldn’t stop getting all sweaty and nervous around her, and every time she’d do something cute, like squeal when she’s frustrated and make weird noises or do a fake accent, or tell a joke I’d feel so unbelievably happy, and I couldn’t stop talking and thinking about her, but Eveytime I’d think about her or look at her id get a huge ick of like.. but ewww she’s so not hot! I can NOT be in love with THAT.
By summer I was still feeling this Same way, one day she wore a dress and like the dopey idiot she is, she lifted her leg and from where I sat I saw her panties. I WAS DISGUSTED, and looked away. And then looked back.. but then looked away.. and then looked back.. and then looked away.. (and did it a couple more times) but I felt sick in my stomach the whole time! It was not a hot thing at the time.
Then the year ends and it’s the summer holiday, (now up until this point I was quite caught up with my David walliams obsession. yes the 56 year old.. and so I didn’t really care about her all that much. On the first day back, before school started I went to a birthday party and I saw her walking outside of the school, when I saw her my heat was beating so fast, i hadn’t seen her in 6 weeks and I was not expecting to see her then, I said hi to her and i couldn’t stop thinking about that moment so intensely, and every thought I had about her being ugly didn’t matter to me, it’s not like I forgot about it, I know what she looks like, but I just think everything about her is so beautiful, it’s part of her and so its perfect.
That feeling got worse and worse as the year went by, every time i see her I shake, i sweat, I have panic attack like symptoms, but I feel so happy, like manic, I am overwhelmed, I want to punch things, I want to scream.
Then we get to the part where to silence this obsession I did regrettable and wierd things that she will never know about, some of the despicable things iv done in “the name of love” for her include:
Eating her hair Licking her spit of the table Kissing her chair when she leaves the room Following her around school Drawing her Writing poems about her Writing songs about her Making edits of her Taking photos of her Recording her voice when she talks to me Stealing her trash Licking her pens Making AI chat bots with her personality Making a bingo game about her (that one is just funny, and all my friends played it too, during her lessons lol)
And many other things I won’t mention. Obviously I’m not proud of any of this, and I didn’t really need to do it, some of it I did “as a joke” for my friends, some of them I did just because I could.. but the recording her voice one is essential! Anytime we’d have a heart felt convo I’d record it so I can listen to it if I ever loose the will to live (surprisingly frequently).
Now our relationship as student and teacher was/is very good.
We’ve had some lovely moments, she told me she cared about me outside of the classroom.
A personal favourite of mine: One time she was marking my work and it was just us in the classroom and I rested my head on her shoulder as she was going through it with me, and she looked down at me and she smiled and then we stayed like that for ages while she marked my work.
All my friends said I was delusional and that she probably hates me, but she has a huge ego and i believe she likes to keep me around to give it a boost every now and then.
I wore a matching outfit with her once (on accident) and she was very happy about it
Anytime I’d ask her what I can do to improve my grade she’s say to me “oh no! But you’re doing really well! I thought you did great!”
She’d never get mad at me or shout at me for anything, if we are doing a one between two activity she’d give me the only extra sheet in the class
I asked her to sit at the front to her because I “concentrate better at the front” (i only asked cuz i wanted to sit closer to her) she gave me a sly smirk and then the next lesson she moved me to the back of the class, and also moved her self to the back of the class.
We took a selfie together and the whole time she was giggling, I gave her a Christmas card, she lets me follow her around the school, she gave my friends dirty looks when they were being mean to me
I sent her stupid emails of pictures of capybaras (it was an inside joke between us) and she responded with a way to enthusiastic response for such a simple image lol!
I sand “you belong with me” by TS and she stood in the crown and when it got to the “you belong with me” bit I pointed at her and she pointed back! Singing the words back to me
Oh, and let us not forget the amount of eye contact. I never look people in the eye, one of my first exes I barely ever looked into their eyes all the time I knew them, I just suck at eye contact. Until I met her, since I’m so insecure about her forgetting me or loosing me or something I often stare at her when she’s teaching to make sure that she doesn’t forget me. And some how in the last couple of months she stares at me as well.
Anytime she tells a joke she looks straight at me to see how I respond (always with giggles even when it’s the lamest thing iv ever heard. It’s often not funny at all.) and the entire time shes teaching the lessons I will stare at her. IN HER EYES. Like, I’ll often smile calmly, but if she hasn’t looked at me in like 4 minutes then I’ll stare deeper, but she usually looks into my eyes and hold it for a while sometimes she’ll even smile at me and then stutter and forget what she’s saying before looking away and continuing. She’ll stare deeply into my eyes, throughout the lesson, and I also always catch her looking at me first.
Once she was helping me with my work, she got really close to me, and she stared into my eyes and then I see her getting small glances at my lips (with this one I may be a little delusional) she leaned in and she kept getting confused. Like, she yaps a lot, and a lot very loudly. So it was odd for her to be standing there her arm touching mine talking to me and being like “…. Um-.. heh-.. where was i..” and she flicks through my paper and then looks back at me and goes silent and then swallows and then looks down and then flips through it again and then says something small and short followed by more silence.
I also have a theory shes on drugs, for many reasons but one time I needed her to take a photo of my book, and she was acting so weird, tired but like really like dizzy and loopy and breathless. And she went to take a photo of my book, and got behind me and she leaned into my book, and I felt her heavy loud breath on my neck as her stray hairs were tickling the side of my face and her shoulder was touching my back, she she just stood there and stared at my book for ages until i was like “um so.. you can.. take a photo or something..” and then she slowly did it hahahaha!
Obviously it’s now exam time and so school is basically over and I have no more lessons, so I didn’t go into depth about how much she means to me as a person but to sum it up into one sentence; I would want to seriously kill my self with out her in my life.
And so the thing I had been fearing for so long, the last English lesson, the last time seeing my dear beloved. Well obviously it’s life or death so I have to tell her how I feel and get her to stay in contact with me.
The last lesson ends I go up to her after a morning of: pissing my self, shitting my self, throwing up in my mouth, constantly putting on perfume, checking my hair and chewing the mintiest of gums. And I start my speech, I won’t go into it but I told her how I felt about her (minus the being in love bit I played it off as platonic duh, im not fully stupid).
I told her that she means so much to me, and she’s (one of) my favourite people in the world (that’s a white lie she’s my only favourite) I can’t go on with out her, I need her, iv felt this way since the first lesson, your so fun, you mean so much to me! I cant loose you, I don’t know what I would do with out you!!!!
I cried in her arms as she hugged me! And i didnt even need to ask she suggested we could stay in contact, in-fact all i had said was “I’ll miss you so much :(“ and she already suggested we stay in contact, but Obviosuly I still did the whole speech cuz at some point she needed to know. Her response was basically that she already knew, but she was very pleased to hear it, and everything is going to be perfectly okay.
She said we can stay in contact (through email, cuz apparently there is a “legal thing unfortunately” stopping her from giving me her number (yes I did ask for her number, but in a total no homo way.)
She said I can talk to her anytime about anything as much as I like, and that’s good enough for me!
I also gave her a drawing I did of her and me together which was cute, her response to that was “oh very cool! she walks over. she takes it in her hands, very excited to see it. This really throws her confidence off, she’s really not expecting this. OH THIS IS AMAIZING! her voice cracks THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH! this is lovely! thank you, this is soo good! oh-muh-gud it’s SO good! oww I love it! thank you.. I’m wearing the same top as well, how fun~.. HOW FUN!!!! how fun!! … she takes it and puts it in her bag i will prop this up, on my desk! wicked wicked awesome!” (I recorded her reaction so that’s how you know it’s word for word)
In conclusion, im creepily obsessed and its a problem, but I don’t really regret anything cuz it’s all gotten me to this point where I can talk to her when ever I want and that’s all I could ever ask her. Yes I want to fuck her, but that’s not important to me I just need her in my life, she’s my world she’s my reason of living, and I’m so happy things are this way! I’m doing my exams now so I get to see her everyday when I come into school (by see her I mean wait outside the staff room so I can catch a glimpse of her knee). I’m also glad I’m not in her lessons anymore cuz I’d always get so twitchy around her, anytime she’d be near me and I’d be trying my best not to lunge at her, when I see her my mouth waters I just wanna grab her and kiss her all over! Eeek! She’s adorableeeee!
I love herrrrr ❤️❤️❤️

Chapter 120 The spectators continued cheering and whistling even minutes after the fight had come to an end. Zaon had caught the crowd by surprise. He was going to be the talk of Farcrest for the rest of the week. The perfect underdog, classless, orphaned, a bit awkward even, coming up victorious against the tyranny of levels. But that was only part of the picture. Zaon had demonstrated the vast difference in skills between him and a combatant nine levels ahead of him.
The victory put us seven points ahead, but what mattered the most going forward was the three points Zaon had lost. Team Nara’s Soldier might not be half as a competent fencer as Zaon but his proficiency with Quick-Step had given him three undisputed points. The Soldier knew when to use the skill to reap the most benefit, and I assumed all our opponents would be the same going forward.
The more skills our opponents had, the harder it would be for the kids.
“Contenders, please enter the arena,” the Master of Ceremonies’ voice echoed over the crowd’s roar. “Ilya the Hunter versus Arel Nara the Warrior!”
Despite Zaon’s victory, I couldn’t help but feel nervous. The Warrior class had a better skill pool than the Soldier class. Ilya grabbed my hand, cutting my musings short.
“Something wrong?”
I examined her face, but she just gave me a nonchalant wink and pulled me to my feet.
“Play along,” Ilya muttered as we walked to the weapons rack holding hands. “Act as if you are choosing a weapon for me. Give me the same sword as Zaon.”
Ilya was trying to fool her opponent even before the match started.
I played along and walked Ilya to the weapons rack like a father dragging his daughter to the dentist. She took the bit about ‘all war is based on deception’ too seriously, but I couldn’t blame her. Ilya had to gather every slight advantage she could if she wanted a chance in a world of average-height people.
Her act worked because Arel Nara seemed to smell her weakness as soon as we reached the weapons rack.
“Have you lost your bravado, little Gnome?” Arel Nara said as he casually grabbed an arming sword with a broad blade from the rack. The boy had the same vulpine expression as Lord Nara, but unlike his lord, his yellow and black fencing uniform revealed his strong arms and legs.
Ilya cowered behind me without letting my hand go. The System should’ve given her the Actress or Spy Class.
“Just what I thought,” Arel Nara laughed. He had grabbed a round shield and an arming sword. “It seems I won’t need this,” he added, leaving the shield back on the weapons rack and strolling into the arena with a carefree demeanor.
Lord Nara, who until that moment was furious due to the first combat, seemed to relax after seeing Ilya cowering behind me.
“Your sword is longer than his, Ilya. Aim for his hands and feet, and don’t let him close the distance. Don’t let him disarm you,” I whispered as I put the slim longsword in Ilya’s hand. “And don’t let him get under your skin.”
Ilya grunted.
“I already know, Mister Clarke! I’m used to having the reach disadvantage and to that sort of comment. I know how to fight against stronger opponents, and he isn’t half of a trash talker as Holst was,” Ilya said with an evil smile. “I got this.”
“Teach him a lesson,” I replied with a smile.
Ilya nodded and gave me her best ‘I’m-on-the-verge-of-tears’ face before turning around and walking to the center of the arena. Despite her tailor-made uniform and the longsword on her shoulder, Ilya looked completely out of place, like a small bird caught in a storm. With a shaky smile, she stood before Arel Nara, raised her chin, and squared her shoulders. I made a mental note telling her to keep her acting shenanigans to combat.
I returned to the bench, avoiding Elincia’s glance. The Fortifier applied the barriers around Ilya’s body. As before, the work wasn’t bad; it was just sloppy on the edges. The difference would be too subtle to catch for anyone without a good grasp of mana detection. Even if I complained now, the Fortifier could brush me off, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t brewing a plan.
“She’s using that technique, uh?” Firana said.
“What technique?” I asked, sitting on the bench and patting Zaon’s shoulder. The boy leaned back with a towel on his face, still trying to control his accelerated heartbeat.
“Shu has been helping Ilya with her acting skills.”
I massaged my temples, worried. The news wasn’t at all surprising. I was already familiar with the little harpy shenanigans. Shu might already be a genius of manipulation at the young age of seven, but I didn’t foresee the little harpy teaching her dark arts to others.
Arel Nara greeted the crowd, his perfect smile reeking of overconfidence. Then, he walked to the Prince’s box with sluggish movements and bowed deeply. Arel Nara might be a braggart, but not a complete fool. He deliberately stalled combat as much as possible while Ilya trembled like a leaf with her longsword tight against her chest.
The Master of Ceremonies let the performance continue for a few seconds, unaware of the fact the battle had already started.
“Combatants, to the center!” He finally announced.
Arel Nara strolled back to the center of the arena, mindlessly swinging his sword and stretching his shoulders. Ilya remained still.
“The fight will end when one of the participants runs out of barriers. There will be no pause between barrier breaks. If you want to give up, raise your hand,” the Master of Ceremonies repeated the rules, looking at Ilya. “On guard!”
Ilya imitated Zaon’s guard, the pflug, not giving her opponent a single hint of the skills she had on her sleeve.
“Fight!”
Ilya stepped forward and swung at Arel Nara’s shin. The boy raised his leg out of the way and countered with a jumping attack that landed on Ilya’s chest. The girl fell on her back, but instead of going for the following attack, Arel Nara turned his back to Ilya and riled up the crowd.
Ilya used her sword to stand up. When she raised her guard, Arel Nara spun around, pushing her sword to the side. Ilya answered with a choreographed thrust, but Arel Nara dodged with enough time to get to Ilya’s side and deal a powerful blow with the pommel of his sword.
Ilya slammed the ground again, her uniform and face covered in dust. The crowd was ruthless, cheering for the strongest warrior. The underdog concept didn’t seem to exist in this world, which wasn’t surprising considering that underdogs, lesser Classes, had marginal opportunities to win against a more powerful opponent.
Ilya was two barriers down.
“You chose the wrong Class, Gnome. Your kind belongs to a workshop, not the battlefield.” Arel Nara taunted Ilya. “I don’t know what lies your Caretaker whispered in your ears, so let me be clear. You are falling short of the mark.”
Ilya separated her feet and adopted the vom tag guard, angering her opponent.
“You asked for it,” Arel Nara grunted as a wave washed over the Warrior’s body, and with a mighty cry, he cast a fortifying spell.
Ilya assessed the situation instantly and channeled her power but didn’t use any skill. She remained vigilant. Arel Nara performed a jumping thrust followed by a quick slash. Ilya parried the first attack and ducked in time to dodge the follow-up.
The crowd yelled for blood, but Ilya used her longer blade to keep Arel Nara at bay, aiming at his hand instead of his body. It was a clever tactic. She not only had the reach advantage, but a longsword packed the power of both arms, unlike the arming sword used with a single hand. Arel Nara burned his mana trying to break Ilya’s defense, but the girl was used to fighting against Wolf and Firana.
Being the ‘worst’ student had its benefits. During sparring, Ilya always fought larger, stronger, or more skillful opponents, and she had developed a system to make up for the difference in body span. Ilya’s defensive style was perfect for zoning out aggressive opponents. Moreover, Ilya was a smart fighter.
Arel Nara burned his mana to get a hit, but Ilya defended like a porcupine. The more Arel Nara approached, the more chances he had of getting stung, and he wasn’t willing to lose a single barrier against Ilya. Not taking a shield was costing him dearly. Longswords had a bad matchup against an arming sword paired with a shield.
Arel Nara attacked once more, unleashing a flurry of strikes. Ilya retreated, dodging and blocking, but the fortifying spell wasn’t in vain. Arel Nara pushed Ilya’s sword aside and seized the opening on the girl’s defense. With a quick step forward, he secured a clean slash across Ilya’s chest. The girl tried to riposte, but he retreated before she could hit.
Ilya was three barriers down and hadn’t broken a single one yet.
Arel Nara’s assault was relentless, and Ilya was starting to breathe heavily; dust and sweat covered her, and even her stance was getting sloppy at times. Ilya was a more skilled fighter, but Arel Nara’s stamina was superior; a prolonged fight would only benefit him.
“Not that good without a bow, are you?” Arel Nara taunted. “What are you going to do? Cast Piercing Shot with a sword?”
“I’m not the one running out of mana,” Ilya spoke for the first time in the combat.
Her words were a slap against Arel Nara’s face, who instantly interrupted the fortifying skill.
“You need four times your mana for that skill to have any effect in this fight,” Ilya taunted him. “You should try something else. Quick-step? Puncture, maybe? No? Even a Level 5 Soldier should have two or three skills at their disposal. Don’t tell me you decided to participate in the tournament with a single skill, please.”
Ilya’s taunt worked. Despite being three barriers down, she had made Arel Nara work hard for them.
“You asked for it,” Arel Nara said, channeling mana around his sword.
Ilya raised his guard, with the hilt of her sword at eye level and the point of the sword aiming forward. Ochs. She braced for the attack, but Arel Nara remained still. Then, he let the sword go, but it didn’t fall. Instead, the sword floated by his side, pointing menacingly at Ilya.
“I’m not a Soldier. I’m a Warrior,” Arel Nara grunted.
The sword flew in a straight line like a bullet, but Ilya blocked it. What she didn’t expect was Arel Nara running forward. The boy channeled mana and cast Iron Skin around his leg as he threw a high kick. Ilya leaned back, dodging by millimeters, but before she could counter against her unarmed opponent, Arel Nara’s sword flew back at her, stabbing her shoulder blade and breaking the fourth barrier.
Arel Nara smirked.
“Your choice, getting kicked or stabbed,” he said. “Forget that. For a Gnome, getting kicked might be more appropriate.”
Ilya smirked back. “That’s it? If you have any hidden skill, I warn you, this might be the moment to use it.”
The arming sword came back to life, spinning and circling Ilya, threatening to attack at any moment. Ilya remained impassive. She had prepared a plan. Mana surged from her chest, and just as the blade launched forward, a thick vine shot from the ground. The sword pierced the vine from side to side, but before Arel Nara could yank it back, the vine coiled around the blade like a boa constrictor.
Arel Nara strengthened his body and made a run for the sword, but Ilya stood in his way.
“Did you lose something, idiot?” She grinned as she thrusted.
Arel Nara cast Iron Skin and blocked Ilya’s blade with his forearm. The skill shrouded his barriers, preventing them from breaking, but the girl didn’t stop. She weaved a series of attacks and feints in a single fluid movement. Arel Nara retreated, casting Iron Skin around his arms and legs to block Ilya’s blows. Each time Ilya swung the sword, a chunk of Arel’s mana was blasted into the air until the signs of Mana Exhaustion started to show. Ilya ran him down, and the boy’s movements became erratic.
In a desperate last attempt to recover his sword, Arel Nara channeled all his remaining mana into the blade and tried to overpower Ilya’s vine; however, the girl effortlessly countered with her much bigger reserves. Sword and vine fought, but in the end, the vine imprisoned the blade against the ground.
“Your choice, surrender or get stabbed by a Gnome,” Ilya mockingly said.
[Awareness] brought Ilya’s words to my ears. A quick lesson in sportsmanship might be needed, but I decided to leave it for later. Ilya was making a statement. Not only was she a competent fencer, but she was also an intelligent fighter. The best part: she only used a fraction of her power.
Arel Nara gestured to raise his hand, but Ilya smacked it down with her sword before he could completely raise it: one barrier down, nine to go. Arel Nara opened her eyes in surprise. Ilya pressed the attack, breaking barrier after barrier until Arel Nara was left with only one. The spectators changed sides the moment the tides turned, roaring every time Ilya penetrated a barrier.
Arel Nara was trapped against the arena wall.
“I care very little about what you say about me, but I will not tolerate any ill comments against Mister Clarke. Idiot.” Ilya said, lowering her sword. “You have two options now. You can surrender or make a further fool of yourself trying to retrieve your sword.”
It had been a while since one of my students made me blush.
Arel Nara unenthusiastically raised his hand and returned to the pavilion with his head down before the Master of Ceremonies could announce his defeat. Ilya retrieved Arel Nara’s sword, or rather made the vine do it for her, and walked to the Prince’s box. She performed a gracious bow and saluted the spectators with an innocent smile. I couldn’t decide if the crowd was happy for Ilya or gloating at Arel Nara’s defeat.
Among the seats of the high nobility, Ginz leaned over the handrail with half of his body outside the box. A member of the royal army frantically grabbed him by the belt to prevent him from falling into the arena. Ginz would’ve made a great English hooligan if he had been born in London or its surroundings. I couldn’t help but share the feeling, but my position required me to maintain a certain level of composure.
Ilya skipped toward Ginz and high-fived him before returning to the pavilion.
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HARRISON, NY - (NewMediaWire) - May 16, 2024 - Metawells Oil & Gas Inc. (the "Company" or "KOSK") is pleased to announce that it has entered into a definitive agreement dated May 14, 2024 (the "Definitive") to merge with Global Oil & Gas Recovery Corp. an arm's length privately held company ("GlobalOG") incorporated in the state of Delaware.
The transaction is structured as a shares exchange and KOSK will acquire all the issued and outstanding capital interest or shareholdings of Global, in exchange with KOSK authorized but unissued common stock. The agreement includes a series of representations and warranties by both parties and conditions that precedent the corporate action. Global is currently a private company and exists in good standing under the laws of the State of Delaware.
KOSK President Ronald Minsky states that, "This merger with Global will be extremely beneficial for KOSK shareholders as Global brings in cutting edge technology for the recuperation of oil and gas from abandoned and zombie oil fields in the U.S. and Canada." Global Oil and Gas Recovery Corporation CEO Richard Cindric states, "Global has been looking for the proper partner to take our business to new heights with our cutting-edge technology. We look forward to the days ahead to putting our company on the map as a big player in the oil and gas recovery business."
About Metawells Oil & Gas Inc.
Metawells Oil & Gas Inc. is a holding company founded in the State of Nevada and engaged in two sectors, the energy sector and the sector of technology. The Company is set to forge strategic collaborations and develop both business segments to accelerate the company growth. The company is currently working on its strategic business plan to become an oil producer, focused on the multi-zone development and Enhanced Oil Recovery ("EOR") of "extreme shallow" medium gravity oil.
www.metawellsinc.com
About Global Oil & Gas Recovery Corp.
The Company's primary focus is to implement Enhanced Oil Recovery (EOR) techniques to existing abandoned wells, maturing oil fields and previously tapped reserves located in the United States and Canada. By restoring these existing oil and gas wells we create value for our shareholders by generating revenue from oil and gas production.
Our Green Technology - Is Focused on Methane Emission Mitigation
The company is funding the further development of a patented Mobile Methane Refining Unit (MRU). Oil and gas companies flare more than $10.6 billion in natural gas (methane) every year. The MRU technology eliminates the flaring, venting and leaking of abandoned wells by capturing the waste methane gas and converting it to a usable fuel. This technology is currently in final development stages and could be ready for production in late 2024. To learn more visit: https://globaloilandgasrecovery.com
Forward-Looking Statements:
Safe Harbor Statement - In addition to historical information, this press release may contain statements that constitute forward-looking statements within the meaning of the Securities Act of 1933 and the Securities Exchange Act of 1934, as amended by the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995. Forward-looking statements contained in this press release include the intent, belief, or expectations of the Company and members of its management team with respect to the Company's future business operations and the assumptions upon which such statements are based. Prospective investors are cautioned that any such forward-looking statements are not guarantees of future performance and involve risks and uncertainties and that actual results may differ materially from those contemplated by such forward-looking statements. Factors that could cause these differences include, but are not limited to, failure to complete anticipated sales under negotiations, lack of revenue growth, client discontinuances, failure to realize improvements in performance, efficiency, profitability, and adverse developments with respect to litigation or increased litigation costs, the operation or performance of the Company's business units or the market price of its common stock. Additional factors that could cause actual results to differ materially from those contemplated within this press release can also be found on the Company's website. The Company disclaims any responsibility to update any forward-looking statements.
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For more information contact:
Ronald Minsky, President
Phone: (212) 381-8029
contact@metawellsinc.com
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here's a link to the file: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1G7W4GdusVYyZjflhm4F19jR6tiFemlLK/view?usp=sharing // class code 5/14/2024 /* We will reproduce the game from last class: This game will read in a file of english words and then select a random word and present it to the user after shuffling it. The user has to guess the original word in one minute or less to win. https://onlinegdb.com/_ijm6Bc7L */ #include  #include  #include  #include  // For sleep using namespace std; size_t read_words_from_file(vector> &words, string fileName){ ifstream ifs(fileName); if(!ifs){ cerr << "Fatal error. Could not open " << fileName << endl; exit(-1); // This exits the whole program. Not just return to main. } string word; size_t num_words = 0; while(getline(ifs, word)){ size_t length = word.length(); if(length >= words.size()) words.resize(length + 1); words[length].push_back(word); ++num_words; } return num_words; } //This will jumble word by choosing a random location for each letter and will //return the jumbled word string jumble_letters(string word){ //remove pesky ^M at the end of windows lines if(word.length() > 0 && word[word.length()-1] == '\r') word = word.substr(0, word.size()-1); for(size_t i = 0; i < word.length(); i++){ size_t n = i + rand() % (word.length() - i); swap(word[i], word[n]); } return word; } int main(){ srand((unsigned) time(nullptr)); // seed rand //Words is a vector of vectors of a string where each inner vector is a // string of the same size as others in the vector vector> words; string data_file = "words.txt"; // open words.txt and read into vector size_t num_words = read_words_from_file(words, data_file); cout << "Read " << num_words << " words from " << data_file << endl; //Select a random word size and a random word from words of that size //TODO is there a bug in the two lines below? discover and discuss in the //forums either way size_t n = rand() % words.size(); string random_word = words[n][rand() % words[n - 1].size()]; string jumbled_word = jumble_letters(random_word); cout << "Stand by for your jumbled word of length " << n << "..." << endl; sleep(1); cout << "Unjumble this in one minute or less: " << jumbled_word < 

Hello people of Brussels, join us for a very special improvisational format of stand up comedy in Brussels Tuesday May 28 called Fake Freuds . It is a format where Stand up comedy meets therapy in this show were comedians use humour solve your problems. Join us for an interactive evening of stand up comedy where you can submit your life problems and questions anonymously on a piece of paper, and our hilarious comedians will use the power of humour to provide hilarious advice. Perfect for English-speaking comedy lovers who want a fun night out!
Promocode "REDDIT" for Discount Tix :
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/899513167097?aff=oddtdtcreator

hi guys! just saw CAS Instagram post that they have added Dubai (Jan 31, 2025) in their world tour schedule. I am super happy and excited as I may end up going to this (my first ever proper concert for the band I have loved since a teen). I just have some silly doubts as this is my first time:

1. How do I see the prices of the seats (not visible on Ticketmaster)? Will these only be out once the sale goes live?
2. Is purchasing in pre-sale for CAS any significantly better than general? How does one even get access to it?
3. What are the seats one should aim at a concert with an average budget!!! It’s my first time and I have no clue regarding best angles. I’m also only 5’0 so idk if standing tickets would work for me?

Thanks a lot for taking out time and answering! I am sooo pumped even though it is nearly an year long wait lol!

Hey guys, So just wondering at what point does it become unreasonable for a customer to expect original fulfilment
For context
We run a jet ski rental business and have 2 locations The 2 locations are in different cities But the cities are near by
We offer custom requests but don't do them often
Anyways A customer wanted to book us for an event But wanted it to be at a hard to get to place On the ocean
We could make it happen It'd just take all my employees from both places
So he paid to book us out As we also wouldn't be able to do any of our other non rental things (Sales, repairs etc)
He booked 6 skis Which normally wouldn't be bad But the location and what all needed to happen required more people
It was also understood if the weather was bad We still would get paid as long as we showed up But we're by no means obligated to run in a thunderstorm
They booked over a month in advance And a week prior it shows thunderstorms for 3 days including the day of the event
He tells me if it storms we still get paid
Well day of it doesn't rain But the ocean didn't get the memo The swell and riding conditions are awful To the point one of my guides (retired coast guard, and boat safety educator) Said we should cancel It's not safe that day
We couldn't Anchor them anywhere safely Skis were getting flipped It was bad
Anyways we managed to make it somewhat work with half the equipment as long as my guides rode the skis themselves
But very far out And even then they were getting beat up and rolled off at times People that ride skis daily
We tried to make it work in the safest way possible considering the conditions And my guides agreed that more skis would be bad The last thing we would need is more people than the 3 out there in those kind of waves
Too much risk of new people flipping or running into each other
Anyways Coordinator complained about not having 6 skis Even though it was barely even safe to have them there at all And of course now wants a refund Even though we agreed we'd still be paid if the weather was bad But the assumption for him is it didn't rain So it wasn't bad
And he didn't get on a ski to know how bad the ocean was Or how unsafe it was
And I can agree with my guides I drove back on one of the skis from the venue to the marina And it was essentially unridable They did their best to give people a chance to still do it But even for me it was sketchy
Anyways Are we being unreasonable standing our ground not refunding (we did offer to give a free tour to some guests to keep the piece) But we feel we had to make a call to keep people safe And we feel like we held up our obligation the best we could without allowing people to get hurt
Of course they left vague threats of a lawsuit But just seems crappy as we did more than we should have had to do

I plan to playtrough this game again after finishing it in my native language (Russian). Is there any advice from native-speaker players? My English is around average (B1-B2). Can you recommend any dictionaries for playtrough of this game?
And a question to other non-native players: is it worth it to replay it in English? Will it help me to improve my vocabulary?

My boss "jim" and I don't have a natural chemistry. We constantly miscommunication. Like we both speak two different languages.
If we met one another outside of work. We would never be friends just bc our personalities are so different. My personality is too "big". I'm professional but I get very excited about new ideas and projects and I love working hard and what's worse - I'm enthusiastic about working hard.
He is very introverted. And just has the opposite demeanor.
I recognized early enough on that I should scale myself back with him and that less was more.
But no matter what I do - I'm always doing it wrong or I'm doing the wrong thing according to him. I have a lot of experience and I'm smart. And I always thought that my personality may not be for him but we worked well together bc we respected the others one intelligence and experience very.
But it finally landed with me - - I realized that he not only doesn't like me, he thinks I'm stupid.
For months, he already vehemently disagrees with anything I say. No matter what I say or how I say it. He never supports anything I saY or tell staff. And contradicts me with staff and has been wrong for it. He seems to be happiest when he knows I am doing menial work. I have to keep and projects I have secret. If he finds out that I am doing anything that involves using brain cells, he will assign it our from me to someone else.
And it's so hurtful but today was a real bad day as far as his open display of his contempt for me goes. All the following happened today:

1. This morning, he sent an updated staff assignment sheet showing who should contact staff for what area of.concern. he asked us all to review it b4 he published it on the intranet. He had at least 15'-20 items listed for each team member. My name was at the very bottom. Be had two items listed. He sent me a note and told me I should add more responsibilities of mine if I could think of any.
   
2. I received a salesforce question from staff. Salesforce isn't my area, so I pinged both him and my colleague who manages it to communicate it. Denise responds with an answer to the inquiry. And I thanked her. Then my boss wrote "that's an excellent approach, denise!" And it's not that he complimented her. It's that it took him complimenting her to make me realize in that moment that he has never said one nice thing to me about anything I do in the workplace.
   
3. Yesterday, Our sales team sent he and I a fairly standard support request with a non standard caveat. I responded and indicated that I could not immediately comply with the request without confirming that what they wanted wasn't a compliance violation. He replied all and said it was fine and to do it. I really struggled and ultimately decided - without consulting him - to email our CIO and legal and I CCed him and I relayed the request and relayed the concern I had. And without naming names I said I was being pushed to perform an action that I was not comfortable performing until I knew that action was compliant. Today, The 4 of us had to get on a call. I was told I was really smart for contacting them and that it wasn't compliant and good catch on my end. Jim didn't acknowledge any part of the conversation one way or another. He just said he would talk to sales.
   
4. Our team has our first stand up call as part of a new meeting series. It's a 3 min round Robin where we all go thru and quickly update the team on what we are doing. Ive been coaching denise on product implementation (unbeknownst to jim). I recently led a project of hers (in secret) while educating her on the why behind the scenes so she wouldnt need me for her next project. I directed her every action item. I provided guidance, support, timlines. Today she announced the close of the project. Jim was ecstatic and singing her praises. She looked so uncomfortavle. She repeatedly credited me with mentoring her. He would not acknowledge any claim of hers to give me credit. there was 6 minutes left on the call by the time it got to me (I was last). I ran thru my current tasks super quick.
   
5. Our weekly 1:1 meeting was next. He was20 minutes late. I was very eager to show him something I had spent weeks working on (bc I do care about the work. And I love working. I can hide my enthusiasm but it shows in my work. Multiple industry pros who I have worked with in the past have praised my project plans and audits and other efforts as "the gold standard." Our company was late to adopting agile methodology. I am an agile pro. He's been dragging his feet on committing to it but it's a directive from higher up. Today, I presented him with the "skeleton'" if you will of our teams roadmap. I built everything for him - just the bones, the automation. I added my own work to it aa a demo. The outline that all he would have to do is fill in. This was something that would have taken him hours of time to do if he had attempted building it himself. Which is why he kept putting it off.
   Before presenting these boards to him, colleagues from different departments had stumbled upon them and asked me if they could clone my work over to their own workspace and did I have any mgmt tips for them. I did not share this with him. I'm not a bragger but I do take great pride in my work. I low key worked on our boards outside of office hours. I was determined that this would finally win him over. Bc I've never quite understood how he treats me. My personality isn't for everyone, I know that. And I'm not perfect. I've contributed to miscommunications between us before. But I've tried really hard to be what he needs me to be in this organization in my role. And today I was going to do it. I was determined it was going to be our watershed moment. I proudly unveiled my boards. He waved them off. Made a remark that he thought it was so interesting to see what people got passionate about in the workplace. That he thinks it's funny that they usually think they're helping the organization when they are really making it all about themselves. He then throws in "and I say that in the nicest way possible." He then told me I had talked for way too long on our stand up call. He said I had to dial it way back next week. That the entire team did not have time to sit there and listen me ramble.
   

And I've been sitting here sobbing ever since. That pushed me over the age. Normally I can shake it off, I can separate, I like myself, I know I work hard, I know that I am smart. So I am pretty quick to let go of all the ways he chooses to diminish me on a fairly regular basis. But this was alot of hits to take in one day. I'm embarrassed to admit that he really took the wind out of my sails today. And I feel so stupid. I feel so fucking stupid. And I just want to quit. I don't want to work here anymore. This feels awful. And everyone loves him. He's every employees favorite guy. He is universally beloved at my company. So surely I must be the problem, right? And we ve talked about our miscommunication and I've done everything I can but I guess I just rub him the wrong way. I am always either not doing enough, doing roo much, or I'm doing the wrong thing. And I just needed someplace to vent while I cried my eyes out.
Tl; DR: boss is really mean to me, today he made me cry, I need to make a plan to quit

Hi, I’m bonzos-number-1-fan You might know me from such theories as; "Theory of Fears; or, Zur Furchtlehre", "What R# Means: The ABCs of Fear" or, "Padlocks, How Do They Even Work?".
I’m back with another essay about this show. Today’s subject is a little different from previous ones. Rather than explaining what I think something in this show is, I’ll be explaining what I think it isn’t. What I’m going to be talking about is the very popular theory that CAT1/2/3 means the supernatural aspect is a Person/Place/Object.
Because I’m talking about other people’s ideas here I do want to start off by saying I understand why this theory is attractive and I don’t think anyone is stupid or anything for believing it. I just personally think there are angles from which it doesn’t work and that the sum of them makes it fairly certain to be untrue. I could be very wrong about that, and my other theories, or I could be very right. I don’t think either scenario matters much. This essay isn’t about being right but about talking about a big thing in the community. I just happen to not believe this one and people have signalled interest in hearing why.
So with all that out of the way I’m going to start by establishing the terminology being used. Then I’ll break down what this theory is positing and follow it up with the ways I think it does and doesn’t work. That’s basically it but with 16 episodes and supplemental material to cover it’s still not going to be terribly short.
Huge thanks to @brettanomycroft for proof reading/editing this madness.

Spoilers for The Magnus Protocol up to and including episode 16.

 

What is a CAT#?

A CAT# is the first 4-5 characters of an OIAR's incident report header. While these are not often referenced in the main body of the show, each incident we hear is accompanied by one in the show's description and transcript. As an example this is the case number for the first incident of episode 1.

CAT1RBC5257-12052022-09012024

Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret [Email]

The first line is the case number. CAT1 is this incident's CAT#. The RBC (R#/Rank) and 5257 (DPHW) have been topics I've discussed in essays I linked at the start. The second line is the header and is formatted “Section (Subsection) -/- Crosslink [Format]”. CAT#s is all we're concerning ourselves with today but I will be using this terminology going forward.
Now we know what they look like, what is it we know about them? Well, not much at all. From the show itself we know there are CAT1s, CAT2s, CAT3s and CAT23s. From the Klaus excel sheet that was found as part of the ARG (and can be found here) we also know there are CAT12s and CAT13s. With that information we can say with some certainty that CAT1, CAT2, and CAT3 are non-mutually exclusive groupings. It's very likely not a linear scale of some description—i.e CAT23 isn't between CAT2 and CAT3—because CAT13 doesn't fit such a scale. Which means that where there are two numbers in a CAT# that incident likely fits both groups rather than being a new group. This also strongly implies that an incident could be CAT123 although we have yet to see that demonstrated.
We also know that CAT is short for "Category". In the Klaus sheet these numbers are located in the "Kategorie" column. "Kategorie" being German for "category". This unfortunately doesn't tell us anything we didn't already know. CAT#s denote some form of grouping.
There is only one other fact we know about CAT#s and that's this:

ALICE
Right, so, after each entry there's four numbers. That’s the DPHW. So, “dolls comma watching” is… 1157. Then you cross reference with the table here, that would be a 2-C, and then you type that into the box here, along with date of incident if there is one and today’s date.

Which is not a lot to go on at all but it does raise an important question. How is a CAT# assigned? There are two major assumptions you could make here. The first is the “objective method” and that it’s a factor of either the section, subject, DPHW or a combination thereof. This means that they are pre-assigned in the same way that DPHWs are. This method has an inherent trait in that it means every header manifests as the same sort of thing. While it’s not a problem to say that every Doll (Watching) is the same— that could just be the rules of the setting—it does make CAT# itself somewhat redundant. The terminology of the headers will often describe something inherent about the CAT#. We have a CAT3 case that’s Dice (Bone) -/- Fate but dice are objects so why would you need to restate that?
The second is the “subjective method” in which the assessor chooses the CAT# based on the incident itself. The subjective method has a larger assumption built into it in that they know what CAT#s are. They don’t know what DPHW is and have shown no indication of knowing what CAT# is either. So I’d say it’s less likely that CAT#s are subjective rather than objective. However, for the purposes of this essay I will assume that both are as likely to be true as each other and will refer to them both. Different cases show different flaws when one of these is true over the other, so both will get discussed.
 

What is Person/Place/Object?

Person/Place/Object is the theory that the three single digit CAT#s stand for Person, Place, and Object respectively. Combinations of these digits represent that an incident falls into each category. A CAT1 incident indicates that the supernatural element of an incident is a person in some respect, while a CAT23 would indicate both a place and an object.
As I have mentioned this isn’t a theory with a single theorist or origin to point to. As such this theory isn’t a monolith and there is variation in how these categories are presented from theory to theory. Sometimes “Person” is literal and other times it includes any sentient thing, “places” aren’t always strictly physical locations, and the narrative framing of what “objects” are may shift. As such I will be taking the broadest interpretation of these categories as their definitions.
People will include animals and other sentient beings. Places will include metaphysical locations. Objects won’t need to be physical in nature. This is both the fairest I can be to all theories and also the strongest I can make this theory. The broader I can make these definitions, the more different ideas can be represented and the more wiggle room the CAT#s get.
What I’ll do next is run through all the incidents the show has mentioned and explain them as I see it. We’ll start with the ones that fit this theory well because they require little explanation. Then when that’s established we’ll talk about the places I think this theory falls down.
 

Which Incidents fit well?

CAT1:

CAT1RBC5257 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret: There is something like a zombie in this incident. That’s something like a person and so fits well.
CAT1RB4824 Injury (Needles) -/- Intimidation: Needles is definitely a person, no question there.
CAT1RB2275 Mascot (Kids) -/- Murder: Bonzo walks, “talks”, and probably thinks. He’s a person.
CAT1B4728 Mascot (Kids) -/- Frenzy: Bonzo is still doing that stuff so is still a person.
CAT1RB4426 Transformation (Snake) -/-Horde: There was a person and they turned into snakes. Snakes count as people here too. Given the amount of snakes this is the most CAT1 CAT1.
CAT1RB-6451 Hunt (Aristocratic) -/- Compulsion: Lady M is the most person on this list.
CAT1RB1565 Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac: Definitely involves a person doing something supernatural.
 

CAT2:

CAT2C8175 Infection (Full Body) -/- Arboreal: This incident takes place in a time and space bending garden. Makes perfect sense for CAT2.
CAT2RB2377 Disappearance (Undetermined) -/- Invitation: A spooky theatre is a location for sure.
 

CAT3:

CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic: In this instance the object in question is the tattoo. Which I think is really stretching the definition of “object” but I’m still going to give it to the theory.
CAT3C7494 Collection (Blood) -/- Musical: A magical violin is definitely an object.
CAT3RB3354 Dice (Bone) -/- Fate: Bone dice are inarguably objects.
CAT3RB4622 Gambling (Application) -/- Murder: It’s another stretch to call an app an object but, again, happy to give it to the theory.
 

CAT23:

CAT23RAB2155 Transformation (Eyes) -/- Trespass: In this incident’s case the location is the Magnus Institute and the object is the box RedCanary stole. I think there are some problems with this one but there is enough to get through.
 

Which Incidents Don't?

CAT1:

CAT1RBC5257 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret: You’re not misremembering, I did say this fit well. Because on the surface it really does make sense, but I think if you push just a little it makes very little sense. Why? Because any category you want to place this in is easily justified in the incident itself. There is a zombie-esque thing but also a Frankenstein-esque figure for CAT1. CAT 2 would be the location of the graveyard itself. It was chosen by the presumed creator of this zombie-like creature and is depicted similar to the one in Marked, a CAT23 incident. If this theory is correct and the Marked graveyard is supernatural I can’t see a reason to discount that possibility here. CAT3 fits too because the presumed creation method is that they were Frankenstein-ed which does require some sort of surgical apparatus. But whichever choice you make you’ve not really clarified the incident at all.
This issue is further seen in the methodology of assigning CAT#s.Objectively it has the same problem all objective assignments do. Reanimation implies there is going to be a reanimated person so restating that doesn’t add much. If we look at the subjective method then this is chosen largely at random. There isn’t enough of an indication in this incident to clearly state which CAT this is. So it’s neither helped in the assessment of the incident and doesn’t provide anything for response because all choices are justifiable.
 
CAT1RB4426 Transformation (Snake) -/- Horde: Not misremembering here either. There is a problem with this one in that it’s demonstrated to be an infection. This makes the source of the affliction basically unknowable. The source could qualify it for other CATs but the larger issue here is that what CAT1 means here and what it means elsewhere are not that comparable. Needles, Bonzo, and Lady M are all sentient and independent. The afflicted we see in this case are normal people until they get very rapidly sick, summon a portal to the snake dimension in their throats, and die. Which leaves CAT1 translating to “something in the rough shape of a person” which is a really wide range of interpretations. Which is something I feel has little practical utility in either assessing or responding to these incidents.
 
CAT1RB1565 Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac: Still not misremembering. While you can say that Ink5oul or Madame E are the person in this instance there is a major conflict here with CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic. If Daria’s transformation was CAT3 because tattoos are objects then there is no reasonable justification that this isn’t at least CAT13. It’s the same person, doing the same thing, to a very similar result but in a different CAT. The headers are entirely different, and so this/that may be misfiled, but it highlights a problem with Daria’s incident. If the incident with the Tattoo header isn’t an object then tattoos are probably not objects under this scheme.
If this is objective then this is always a person, or on people, which makes a great deal of sense. However if that’s the case then the objective method for Daria’s case sort of falls apart because there wasn’t really a secondary object there. Additionally, because all incidents with that case’s header being objects is a huge stretch. So if this incident, or that incident, is misfiled it doesn’t really matter. In either case (or even if both of them are misfiled), it largely disproves that tattoos are objects, creating a larger issue with that theory as it affects more than just this case. Subjectively as far as we’re aware Sam filed all three of the Ink5oul incidents. So he chose an object in Daria’s case but then opted against it here despite there being no real reason to that we can see. You could say that now Ink5oul has been in it more, he thinks Ink5oul has some sort of supernatural power themselves which makes them a CAT1; that would still make this CAT13 as episode 11 was CAT23.
 

CAT2:

CAT2RC1157 Dolls (Watching): This is a big one in my opinion. It’s not only the first incident we’re told about, but it's both Sam’s and our first exposure to an explanation of the OIAR’s filing system. It’s also one I see ignored in most of the posts that posit the Person/Place/Object theory. That is understandable as we don’t hear the incident itself but we do hear enough of it to show that there is a flaw in the theory.
What we hear about this incident is entirely focused on the doll itself and questions about its nature. It’s a split between Dolls (Watching) and Dolls (Human Skin) with the former being chosen as the latter is only implied. Dolls themselves are objects which would make this CAT3, and if the doll is sentient a CAT1. However, this is placed in CAT2 indicating that it's actually caused by the location in some respect. In order for that to make sense you have to make 3 major assumptions. Assumption 1: despite no indication in the conversation about this incident suggesting anything outside of the doll being strange there was actually a “haunted house”. Assumption 2: despite there being sections far more descriptive of locations—i.e Architecture—Dolls is more suited to this incident. Assumption 3: despite this being Sam’s/the audience’s first exposure to this system it leaves out the real source of the incident when, narratively, this is an explanation of it. Those are some fairly major assumptions to make to justify a theory.
This also has issues with either method of assigning CAT#s. If CAT# is objective then every Dolls (Watching) is actually a location. Unlike with something like Reanimation (Partial) that doesn't make much sense as dolls themselves are objects. In the subjective method, Alice assigned this as a location but their discussion of it centred solely on an object and she didn't explain to Sam why she did it.
 
CAT2RC3338 Agglomeration (Miscellany) -/- Congregation: This might be my favourite example of issues I have with this theory. To explain it we’ll look at this from both the objective and subjective methods while taking into account outside knowledge of the show from an audience perspective.
Everyone I’ve seen posit this theory attributes CAT2 to Hilltop here.They do this solely because of TMA. There is nothing in this episode that makes Hilltop out to be anything special in any way. But because Hilltop is special in TMA the audience is primed to view this location as special. It may very well be but there is no reason to think that. In fact, I’d argue there's reason to think otherwise based on this episode, but that is a little off topic for this essay. However from an objective perspective it can’t take Hilltop into account because not every header of this sort will take place in Hilltop. They could only manifest at special locations but that seems like a stretch. If it is true, why does this unique combination of words not include a word that describes it as a location? Subjectively it could be a misfile. Celia would be the only person who knows what Hilltop is in TMA— assuming some of the theories on her are correct—but that doesn’t make Hilltop important in and of itself. It also means she ignored large parts of this incident when filing it just to focus on that element. As this case is the one Alice uses to teach Celia the system with, then this also relies on Alice knowing or not correcting Celia. In either scenario this case is full of people of definite supernatural quality, lacks a location of supernatural quality, but has 100s of objects of dubious supernatural quality. Something doesn’t make sense here if this theory is correct.
 
CAT2RBC3366 Architecture (Liminal) -/- Hunger: This one is interesting because it shows a flaw not in the theory per se but in the methodology as a whole if the theory is correct. If CAT# is what the theory says it is why is this just CAT2? It being CAT2 at all is redundant when its header describes a location but in this incident we see it’s populated by supernatural creatures. I call them Uncannybals—as should you—and they’re monsters living in the shadow realm. That seems like very important information to include. So it should be CAT12 as there are both people and a place. The OIAR methodology already has the problem that you can’t include multiple headers but CAT#s, if they worked like this, could be used to alleviate that issue. The way it’s implemented here just makes it virtually pointless to include at all.
 

CAT3:

CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic: This was largely already covered. So simply put if Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic is an object because of the tattoo, and Tattoo (Corpse) -/- Compulsion is an object because of the tattoo, but Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac isn’t an object despite being virtually identical to this case then CAT3 doesn't mean object.
The method problems are the same as above too. Now this case is the one most likely of the three to be misfiled. So you could say that Daria's case is misfiled and would actually be CAT1 if filed correctly. Tattoos aren’t objects, this case is a mistake. Then you could explain that Marked is CAT23 because corpses are objects (so 13 if he was alive). Objectively this header always being CAT3 still poses problems because we know there are Transformations that don’t require objects. Which brings us back to the problem of “why are the headers so bad at describing these things?”. If it’s subjective Sam decided that object instead of person made more sense here. Seemingly based on the fact that there is a tattoo. Later on he changed his mind about this but choosing it in the first place seems like a stretch. If he knew what these things meant in order to choose them, object seems like a very unobvious choice.
 

CAT23:

CAT23RC5246 Tattoo (Corpse) -/- Compulsion: This one is fairly clear to me. I’m going to be very generous and suggest that the corpse here is the object based on the above. The reason this one is a problem is that there wasn’t a location here. I’ve seen people say that it must be the graveyard but that’s confirmation bias IMO. It wasn’t a large feature of the episode, didn’t do anything coastal graveyards don’t do, and had no overt supernatural properties to it. I don’t personally think anyone would categorise this as CAT23 based on the incident alone but because CAT23 people will justify it to fit. That’s not inherently a problem because sometimes you have to make assumptions but given all of the above I don’t think that assumption is a reasonable one to make.
Objectively all compelling corpse tattoos are found in magical graveyards—or morgues, tombs, goth bars, and other corpse hangouts—and I think we can all agree that’s sort of wack. Subjectively Sam decided the graveyard was magic despite there being nothing to suggest that.
 

Klaus’ CAT#s:

This is a bit of a special section. I briefly mention Klaus in the intro but I didn’t mention that some of the incidents we’ve heard have been found on the Klaus sheet. The canonicity of these aren’t 100% and I would say the show takes precedent so this is supplemental rather than definitive. I think I’ve more than shown that this theory doesn’t hold up. This is more of an academic exercise.
The big thing to know here is that Kluas’ cases lack headers entirely but that some Klaus cases have notes and it’s these notes attached. It’s only one’s with those notes I’m interested in for this because of how they relate to things we’ve heard. One case is CAT3RBC1567 with the note “tinte”. CAT3RBC1567 is Daria’s case and “tinte” is German for “ink”. So this is very likely that case. There are 4 other cases with that note and they’re two CAT1s, a CAT3, and a CAT13. So even if Daria’s case is misfiled not all of those are the correct CAT# for that assumption. There are also two CAT1s and a CAT2 marked “Herr B”, which is “Mr B” in English. These aren’t tied to a Bonzo case we’ve heard yet but one of them does take place in Bland Theme Park, Somerset. That’s not definitively Bonzo but it’s a good hint at it.
Additionally there are 6 CAT2 cases that have the note “Katzen LOL” or “Cats LOL” which you’d expect to be CAT1s if there are cats involved. In a similar vein there are one CAT1 and five CAT2s marked “Kreigsvolk” which is literally “War People” but more likely “Army” or “Soldiers”. Again, you’d expect more CAT1s if CAT1 is people.
I’m not saying any of the above is the backbone of my reasoning here but these are things that are showing up in the show and they do seem to be pointing the same direction as what I’m saying. Ignoring them entirely I think the theory doesn’t hold up but with them I think it’s very clear.
 

Conclusion

I don’t have much of a wrap up here. Anyone who’s been reading my posts for a while has known that I’ve never thought this theory worked. It’s not something I ever get too deep into because I’m also obviously happy for people to have ideas I disagree with, as am I happy for them to disagree with my ideas. That’s just healthy theorising. I’d been considering writing this for a while though but was mostly held back by not wanting to come across as some sort of arbiter of what is and isn’t correct, and didn’t want to seem like I was calling anyone out specifically. However a few people now said they wanted to see this and there are enough instances of parallel thought on this theory that it’s impossible for me to really single people out now. So here we are.
Just to reiterate for people that did/do believe this theory I don’t think anyone was stupid and/or wrong for thinking it. I hope if the above has convinced you that I’m right about it that you’re not dissuaded from making and sharing future theories. I’ve have 3 or 4 terrible CAT# theories and a few R# theories too. My current ideas on DPHW and R# might be awfully wrong in the long run and that’ll be okay.
That’s me anyway, hope this was at the very least an interesting read if it didn’t manage to be a convincing one. Bonzo! Bonzo!! Bonzo!!!