One of the hardest questions to answer on this subreddit is when people ask what their itinerary should be, followed by questions on what an appropriate budget would be, and then suggestions on hidden gems.
The TL;DR is that all three questions need more details if you want them to be answered.
"But kmrbtravel!" you say, "I need an itinerary if I want a budget, and a budget if I want to make an itinerary! It's all so overwhelming, and I don't know where to start! Oh but I also want to find places that have little to no tourists and are your secret hidden gems, just for that variety!"
I'm hoping this post will be a good starting point for the people above but also to let people know that for the vast majority of us, the 'basic' things recommended on Google and YouTube will be perfect! Travelling Japan is fun because there are so many things to be distracted by, and you will be spending a lot of your time wandering and trying things out, even without a detailed itinerary.

About Me

I write this spiel every time, but I'm a 25F solo traveller with friends I stay with in Japan. Played a Japanese martial art for years, and I visit Japan 3-4x every year (usually 1-2 weeks in April, 1 week in September, 1-2 weeks in late Oct/early Nov, and 1 month in December).
I'm currently on a mission to visit all 47 prefectures across Japan, and I'm at 9 right now (Kyoto, Osaka, Tokyo, Shimane, Mie, Hiroshima, Okayama, Hyogo, and most recently Nagoya). You can read about my biggest and craziest trip here (especially if you're looking for suggestions outside of Tokyo/Kyoto/Osaka!)
I speak and understand very basic and noob Japanese. Enough for me to get around, barely enough for me to talk to random obaasans in the onsen who are curious about my travels. I can read hiragana/katakana, and kanji still eludes me (but we'll get there!)
One thing to note about me is that I'm mostly temple/shrine oriented when I travel Japan, so I personally cannot answer questions regarding things like museums/amusement parks/etc.

What Makes Planning a Japan Trip So Hard? (And why is it harder for us to answer your questions?)

Out of any other country that I've visited, I genuinely believe that Japan has the most variety in terms of what you can do and see and can cater wildly to different kinds of people, which sometimes makes it very difficult for us to give you detailed answers. While we all have the same goal of 'exploring Japan,' I personally want to give the best answers possible. I will have different suggestions (and routes!) depending on if you can walk 30,000 steps/day, if you have young kids, if you like anime, if you like martial arts, if you like nature and hiking, if you like shrines/temples, if you don't mind crowds, if you want to just do what everyone else is doing, if you want to do more traditional things, etc. etc. This is why general questions on 'what should my itinerary be' can never fully be answered. We are not mind readers, but we're happy to help with more information.
'They all sound good to me though, and that's why I can't choose!'
Unfortunately, the reality is that you will have to choose by some point. Japan is so much fun because there is an endless amount of things to do, and you have to pick what sounds the most entertaining to you. After 9 prefectures and multiple visits to Japan, I have very, very little things that I personally didn't enjoy. We do not know who you are, and we do not know your preferences. You need to either pick for us, or give us that guidance so we can suggest appropriate itineraries for you.
In harsher terms, for the vast majority of us, an AI-made itinerary, or suggestions from Google or YouTube will satisfy your trip. What us humans can do on Reddit, is to give you specific suggestions, but we cannot give specific suggestions if you do not provide us with (somewhat) specific questions.

1. The Budget Question

I have travelled Japan with less than ¥2000/day, and have travelled with more than ¥20,000/day. The great thing about Japan is that you have the option to do both. Are you broke after plane tickets + hotels? No worries, there are tons of free sightseeing options and you can konbini or street food breakfast/lunch/dinner for very little. Do you want to splurge because this is your 'once-in-a-lifetime-trip?' Don't worry! There are tons of ways for you to sink your money in.
But to be more helpful, I'll break it down just a bit further. After hotels/planes, these are the biggest money sinks:

• Transportation: while transit isn't groundbreakingly expensive, if you're moving a lot and jumping around stations, it can add up. I usually charge around ¥10,000-20,000 per trip (for day-to-day transportation)
  • The big bank-breaking transportation though is of course, the Shinkansen. If you are moving between cities via the bullet train, you need to keep this in mind and weave it into your budget.
  • Other options include:
    • Night bus: pros (usually cheap), cons (you basically waste a day because you're EXHAUSTED the next day)
    • Local subway lines: pros (faster than the bus), cons (do not come on with big luggage and there is a very real chance you may have to stand 3+ hours if it's a busy line—which happened to me in Hiroshima)
    • Day bus: pros (cheap and you don't have to force yourself to sleep), cons (you literally waste a day travelling to get to your location)
• Food: while I'm personally not a fan of Japanese food myself, I still find all sorts of ways to open my wallet with cool cafes, street food, AYCE BBQ, and just general meals.
  • I've found most meals cost between ¥500-2500, though you can do cheaper with konbini-only or street stall foods. Japan is great because even their cheapest options tend to be pretty high quality.
• Tickets/experiences: renting kimonos, Ghibli museums or parks, TeamLabs, amusement parks, Shibuya Sky/Tokyo ToweSkyTree, (some) temples/shrines, gardens, castles, etc. all cost money. We have no idea what you want to do, so you'd need to provide this sort of information for us.
• Ryokans: I know I said 'excluding hotels,' but if you want a traditional ryokan experience, these tend to be much costlier than most other cheap hotel options. I personally still travel like a broke university student and rarely pay over ¥5000/night for a hotel, unless it's peak travel season, so a ryokan is out of my budget. But if you want to experience one, put it in your estimate!
• Souvenirs: if you're bad with money like me, you will be purchasing a lot of souvenirs. As a Canadian, I cannot fathom what on earth people would even want from Canada minus a bucket of maple syrup, but there are tons of options in Japan, all of which adds up quite quickly.
  • Goshuin: I am writing a massive post on goshuin/goshuincho, but Himekat has some great guides if you're not sure what they are.
  • Snacks: great, cheap gifts to get for friends and family. You're lying to yourself if you say you're not going to blitz through a Donki (Don Quijote—a chain of budget/discount stores across Japan that has everything you can possible want) for souvenirs. (It is a scarring but necessary experience for all those visiting Japan).
  • Omamori/omikuji/ema: omamori are those charms (I'm personally wearing a beaaaautiful one from Asagaya Shinmeigu) that are sold at temples and shrines, omikuji are the luck/fortune draws, and ema are those wooden tablets where you can write down a wish. I personally always write one at Meiji Jingu (Tokyo) and Itsukushima Jinja (Hiroshima)!
  • I've personally never shopped at Uniqlo, but I heard it's cheaper in Japan(?). Stationery fans will also be headed towards Loft and Tokyu Hands, I'm sure.
• Arcades: In North America, arcades are those money-wasting things you take your kids to every once in a while and a sure way to lose $1-2 each time. In Japan, arcades are everywhere and you can actually win prizes (a lot of them!) I usually average around ¥2000-4000 per prize. I know some people are totally turned off by anime and don't want any figures or prizes of the sort, but many of us will find ourselves plastered between a cute plushie and the windows inside of a blinding GIGO. Plan some wiggle room, because I find this to usually be an unexpected money sink!
• Gacha: you will be spending money on some gacha machines. You've been warned.

I'm probably forgetting things (and will update as I remember them), but Japan is REALLY good at chipping away at your wallet little bits at a time. It's not like Europe or North America where your cost is just expensive food + an expensive experience. Japan is a lot of cheap, little things that adds up quickly.
Some prices are baked in/unchanging (e.g. TeamLabs tickets or Shinkansen tickets), but many of those 'smaller things that adds up' can be quite random. I always add up my expected costs, subtract it from my total budget, and divide the remainder with the days I will be in Japan for.

• E.g.: 10 day trip to Japan, total budget left: $1000 CAD (after Shinkansen, plane, hotel, Ghibli museum, USJ, SkyTree, etc.) = $100 CAD/day. I also give myself a $200 'emergency shopping fund' for something I REALLY want that's outside of my budget.

2. The Itinerary Question

There are tons of great itineraries on YouTube and Google and I promise you, most of them are good enough for you to just copy/paste and experience. Use us for specific questions you may have in regards to them (e.g. I'm planning on going to xyz on abc dates, is there anything to keep in mind?) (and then we can inform you of any closures, tips, tricks, etc.).
As someone who travels a lot, I want to point out that hotspots are hot for a reason and the ones in Japan are all worth going to unless you can somehow tell it's not going to be your thing (and that's ok!) or you have a serious aversion to crowds.
How one makes an itinerary is always varied, but as someone who's good at going with the flow when travelling (and often plans very last minute), this is how I usually rumble:
0. BRING AN EMPTY SUITCASE: I usually have a slightly smaller suitcase inside of my big suitcase, and the smaller suitcase has all of my clothes + shoes. If you do this, please cover or cushion the wheels of your smaller suitcase inside. I have no idea what happens in the cargo, but I've smashed the wheels of two small suitcases (even though they were fine when they're not inside the larger suitcase). I usually just put some shoes/scarves/dark hoodies for cushioning.

• 1. Pin your itinerary on Google Maps or My Maps: this is my #1 tip for all travellers!
  • This allows you to visualize which areas you will be staying at the most. It allows for you to group your days based on distance (excluding ticket-oriented events with specific dates), find a suitable place for accommodation, and allows you to estimate the distance for your travels.
  • Google Maps: sign into your account, go to Google Maps, and click on the location of your itinerary → Save → New List (if you want) → make a list for your trip! The points will be visible next time you open a map.
  • My Maps: I use this more for archival purposes, but can be useful too :)
• 2. Pick a hotel: your home base. I prefer accommodations that are close to a station. While I never go back to the hotel to drop things off/refresh, I've found that I really didn't enjoy walking the 10-15 minutes back 'home' after 20-30k steps. On the flip side, there are genuinely really nice and more affordable hotels if you don't mind walking that distance.
  • Architecturally, Japan's buildings tend to be much smaller (narrower) compared to North American structures. For Tokyo especially, many budget hotels have very little floor space, which can make opening your luggage and packing really difficult. I've found hotels near popular stations to be smaller and more expensive, but convenient. Hotels some 10-15 minute walk away (which may not sound like much, but I promise you will feel after travelling Japan) tend to be slightly larger and slightly cheaper, but I've also been to a few that did not have any konbinis nearby (a very first world problem, but I live and breathe konbinis)
  • Outside of Tokyo though (even in Osaka/Kyoto), I've had less issues with hotel floor sizes.
  • You should also choose a place that is close to your itinerar(ies), if possible. This is more a 'winter travel tip' than a spring/summer one, but when daylight is tight and you want to get as many things done with limited sunlight, you do not want to waste daylight commuting if you can help it. Obviously some limitations.

My itinerary recommendations are nothing special as I literally pick things off Google. But hotspots are hot for a reason, and these were some of my favourites for Tokyo and Kyoto!

• Tokyo:
  • Nippon Budokan (for my martial arts fans!), Akihabara (for my weebs!)
  • I usually lap Meiji Jingu, Takeshita-dori, Yoyogi Park, and sometimes Omotesando (for shopping) togetheon the same day as they are all right next to each other! Going from the bustling streets of Harajuku/Takeshitadori to the peaceful forest of Meiji Jingu will always give me whiplash.
  • Shibuya, Shibuya Sky, Shibuya 109, Hachiko Statue, I personally didn't find Shibuya Crossing too special but whatever, along with the Nintendo Store + Pokemon Centre + Jump Store + Capcom Store. There's also Loft/Tokyo Hands for my stationery fanatics. Shibuya is massive and can take more than a day to explore if you really enjoy shopping.
  • I also usually walk from Sensoji to SkyTree, but your feet may hate you. You'll also be able to pass by the Asahi Beer Hall (affectionately called 'The Golden Poo' by my Japanese friends).
  • TeamLab Planets was probably the one non-sightseeing touristy thing I did, and I loved it!
  • Ikebukuro: I personally don't think you need to go out of your way for Ikebukuro but if you develop a gambling addiction from the gacha machines there, Sunshine City has the most gacha capsule machines in the world! (They also have tons of other stores like a Mugiwara Store, Crayon Shin-Chan, Pokemon stores, etc.)
• Kyoto:
  • MY HOME BASE (as it is where my best friend lives) and also my favourite city as I am a shrine enthusiast!
  • Fushimi Inari: I climb this place every trip to Japan without fail. There is nothing view-worthy at the top so feel free to turn around at the viewpoint/halfway point! If you hate yourself like me, you can reach the top and pray for safe passages :)
    • This is my biggest pet peeve: PLEASE DO NOT BLOCK THE PATH TO TAKE PICTURES. I PROMISE you, it looks exactly the same at the bottom as it does in the middle and the top. Unless you have some sort of physical ailment that only lets you explore the bottom, PLEASE KEEP MOVING AND STOP BLOCKING THE PATH.
  • Kiyomizudera: along with Ninnenzaka and Sannenzaka is always busy and chaotic, but I still very much enjoy it and you'll definitely get the feeling of 'wow, I'm in a really traditional part of Japan!'
    • Two suggestions that I don't see as much love as Kiyomizudera, but is still close is Yasaka Jinja and Chionin. I personally think Yasaka Jinja looks stunning at night with all its lanterns. At Chionin, everything looks sarcastically large (the gate, the steps, the temple) but I still really love it!
  • Kinkakuji: I will never understand why people say it's not that great when I've seen it 3+ times and I still think the gold looks incredible. Where else are you going to see a fully gold temple?! Sure it's a little out of the way, but I still think it's worth it. The gold is beautiful on a clear blue day. I know there's 'not much else to do and the loop is short' but the gold is still amazing to me (more below)
  • Ginkakuji: a really peaceful, beautifully designed pavilion. It was actually my first time visiting in my last trip and I thoroughly enjoyed it! The path leading up feels like a mini-sannenzaka, with smaller stores and eateries.
  • Arashiyama: one of my favourite places of all time in Kyoto although I do not recommend the bamboo forest and it is ironically my least favourite part of Arashiyama. Instead, I recommend:
    • Kyoto Arashiyama Orgel Museum: cute music boxes, I personally have one of Yonezu Kenshi's Lemon!
    • Nisonin Temple and Seiryoji: you may not appreciate it as much as I do if you don't love temples, but if you're not a fan of crowds I find these two way less busy (but also much more walking to get to). If you visit Seiryoji, there is a garden at the back of the temple (take the slippers and open the door). Nice cool breeze there always!
    • Monkey Park: monkeys! A bit of a hike.
    • Tenryuji: honestly not my favourite place in the world but people seem to like it
    • I usually do not have food recommendations for Japan, BUT I personally believe Arashiyama has some of the best eats!
  • Kinkakuji / Ryoanji / Ninnaji: okay I know I already mentioned Kinkakuji, but the complaint I hear the most is 'it's so far out of the way and there's nothing else there!' WRONG, if you want be stuffed full of awesome temples, I highly suggest the Kinkakuji → Ryoanji → Ninnaji route!
    • Ryoanji: is famous for its stone garden. One of my favourite gardens to study architecturally and design-wise (search up why before you go, and test it out!)
    • Ninnaji: definitely not visited as much by foreign tourists BUT I personally think it has one of the best indoor loops with long walkways and a gorgeous garden that it loops around. If I had a 'hidden gem' for foreign tourists, this would be the one I'm willing to share! (Also a 3 min bus ride from Ryoanji).
  • One place I do NOT recommend minus sakura season is Philosopher's Walk. I passed through it multiple times until someone pointed out it's actually a popular tourist attraction (??) I would not go out of my way for this at all. It looks like any other road in Japan. I don't even know if I'd recommend it during sakura season because there are so many beautiful streets for them everywhere.
  • Other places to check out are Kyoto Station (sick architecture), Tofukuji (especially during fall), Shijo-Kawaramachi (the downtown area of Kyoto), Shimogamo Jinja (another one of my 'hidden gems'—it's an extremely famous and popular shrine, but I rarely see foreign tourists for some reason), and Kitano Tenmangu (if you're a student—this is the studying god!)

3. The 'Hidden Gem' Question

If this is your first trip to Japan, you don't need hidden gems (unless they're food-specific). The major sightseeing attractions are popular for a reason and will be more than enough unless you're literally here for months.
Secondly, and more importantly, I've realized that 'hidden gems' are pretty personal to an individual's tastes. For example, I revealed a few of my hidden gem shrines and temples a few months ago, and immediately got immediately told that it's not actually very great. Well yeah, but that's why it was a hidden gem for me, because I loved it. We will not know what a 'hidden gem' means for you unless you specify the type. Are we looking for hidden gems that are about food? Temples? Specific anime references?
I can promise you that 99% of places worth going to are already spread across social media, and they're popular for good reasons. I personally don't think it's worth travelling far or trying spend so much time and effort looking for that 1%, especially on a first trip.
Lastly, I personally do not reveal my hidden gems unless I know you in person or it's a small business that may appreciate more support. While you may disagree, I think overtourism/overcrowding is pretty real in Japan right now, and I'm hesitant to put smaller places up on public platforms.
With that being said though, for tourists who have already been to Japan and want 'hidden gems' beyond Tokyo/Kyoto/Osaka, I highly recommend the Kyushu/Chugoku region trip that I did back in January. I don't have specific itinerary 'hidden gems' but I definitely have 'hidden prefectures' that I loved (and even preferred) to Tokyo/Kyoto/Osaka! (They're not actually hidden, just less visited compared to the trifecta).
Full itinerary/trip report here.
My itinerary for these prefectures are nothing special and none of them are 'hidden gems' as they're literally the most popular attractions for each place. But a. I think this proves that the 'top search' on Google is perfectly fine (because that's what I did, and I had an amazing time), and b. the popular attractions are very much worth going to.
There is a special promotion for foreign tourists that lets you take the bus to and from Shimane to Hiroshima for only 1000 yen, and the bus is only around 3 hrs from Izumo to Hiroshima! You can either start in Kyoto and move down, or start in Hiroshima and move up. I did all in 6 days which I do NOT recommend because I had to rush / clocked 30k+ steps in every day / thought I was going to die by the last day / was in a new prefecture every day.

1. Kyoto → Osaka → Kobe → Himeji → Okayama → Izumo → Hiroshima
2. Hiroshima → Izumo → Okayama → Himeji → Kobe → Osaka → Kyoto

Other prefectures nearby that are worth checking out are Nara and Mie.

Thanks for reading!

If you made it to the end, thanks for reading and I hope this was helpful. I definitely don't know everything about Japan and tons of people have amazing tips (that I still learn from every day). This was hopefully to help address some of the more common issues / repeated questions that people had. The TLDR is really just that we need specifics on who YOU are for us to answer your questions better, especially if you're looking for 'hidden gems' that are specific to your interests.
Have an amazing trip, everyone!

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• Consequences: Increased risk of infections, receding gums, and more severe periodontal diseases.

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*Do Not message or add me just to unfriend me or ghost me. * Greetings future partner ❤️ I'm still searching for you. I have to be honest and say that I am losing hope trying to find you.Please be somewhere. I want my search for a partner to be over. I'm seeking adventure in my life with someone I can call a forever partner. I'm tired of the loneliness and the sheltered lifestyle that I've lived. It would mean a lot of you could read through this post so that I could make sure we are compatible. Even if we start off as friends that would be fine.
Here's to new beginnings and new connections. PLEASE make sure you READ through the WHOLE POST also please be respectful when messaging me * *If you're the type to be impatient, block, or ghost easily, then save both of us the trouble and DO NOT message me! I'm not trying to come off as mean but I'd much rather you not message me if you're the type of person to do that. If something isn't working just let me know. We're all adults.
Greetings, I am seeking a long term relationship monogamous with the end goal being matrimony. I am not one for playing around and being used casually as it doesn’t suit me personally. Ideally I'd prefer a man that has his life already in place so that I can be able to share life with him and for him to take care of me. I would expect my future man to have a fiscally stable job and be able to support me and our future family. I wouldn’t be opposed to being a housewife. There are few reasons why I would like to work or work part time: 1) Being abandoned with nothing, 2) I want to feel fulfilled and not bored. Happy to discuss possible dynamics, I'm flexible. I would love a synergistic partnership where we are both able to mold our minds and fill our hearts with warm affection. I will be there to support you throughout your journey and celebrate every moment with you. I want you to be proud of you just as you are with me. I want to show you that you are truly cared for and appreciated by gestures of love such as massages and other forms of entertainment. I would expect the same from you as well. Even if we are both working adults we can still make our relationship work in the best way possible. I have seen this come out well for people who are dedicated and willing to make their relationships work. For a strong relationship to occur I would expect effective (transparent) communication from you. If you are going to be busy just be honest and let me know you won’t be able to talk to me.Also, if you need your space both mentally and physically let me know. I understand that we all have our lives to attend to but it is incredibly important for people in a relationship to be transparent when circumstances arise in a timely manner in order to avoid future conflict. If this relationship isn’t going to work I would expect you to tell me and not ghost or block me before giving me a reason why. We are all adults so I would expect nothing but maturity. Starting out I don’t want the pressure of sex to be pushed onto me. I’d rather let time tell in all of its glory.
Now onto my true introduction
My name is Angie and I'm from Georgia in the United States. I've been lonely for quite some time and find it hard to find a soulmate in IRL. What I'm looking for is someone who I can connect with and have wholesome conversations with. I want to be able to treat my future soulmate well just as much as they do me. The biggest part of a long lasting relationship is the ability to communicate openly without worry. I'd love it if my significant other has a dark sense of humor and continues to crack me up non-stop. As cheesy as it may sound I long for those late night calls and cute texts. I want for us to drive out the very best in each other; become our support system. A little bit about me is that I grew up in Florida and not too long ago moved to Georgia. I'm currently in college to become an RN but I'm also passionate about cosmetic chemistry and nutrition so I may seek to build my own business in the future. I'm passionate about science and theoretical applications especially within the medical field. I'd appreciate it if my partner is open minded about varying topics and welcomes healthy conversations. Appearance wise I'm open to seeing if we have a connection and feel as long as you are well groomed and practice basic hygiene you are good. Although, I must say that attraction is key in a relationship so I will have to go off on that as well. To add on, I enjoy playing video games, exercising (I've been slacking off lately), cooking and baking (vegan), playing board games, reading, exploring nature, playing sports (basketball and soccer) for fun, and trying new experiences. I hope to save up and travel someday. It would be nice for my partner to be able to set up our travel itinerary.
My Physical Description:
I am a black woman who’s twenty five years old (almost 26 in December) with Afro-Carribean, Japanese and Swedish ancestry. I’d still consider myself black presenting since that’s more along the lines of what I appear as phenotypically. I have dark brown curly hair (Mainly 3c type curls) and brown eyes. I am 5 '4 on the thicker spectrum (not at all obese but thick boned and have thunder thighs). I am trying to exercise more to become fit. I used to weight lift when I was younger but since then have lost lean muscle mass. Having a partner that is willing to work out together sometimes is rather rewarding. A man who has drive and appeal is incredibly sexy. I would also like to point out that I am curvy and noticeable in certain aspects (I’ll leave it up to you to decide).
*You have to be MINIMUM 21 to date me *
If distance will be a problem and you aren't willing to make it work then DON'T MESSAGE ME!!
If you will be too busy to pursue a relationship then DO NOT contact me!! * *Again, No ghosters or blockers!! Seeking a person who seeks a relationship with God and/or is open to one Must be free from venerial diseases and must be willing to get tested(will discuss) Bonus points if you're vegan Ideally I would like someone that is taller than me (I’m 5’4) I prefer a man that is fit or trying to be. I'd prefer someone who is fiscally stable and able to support the both of us* A big red flag for me is smokers. It isn't good for your health nor is it sexy to me.* It's important for me to point out that I want children in the future and need someone who may want that as well. If you're interested in how I look and want to know more about me, message me. Although I don’t make it a huge deal, I do prefer White and East Asian men. But I do love all types of men and welcome them. As stated before I emphasize communication and would prefer you to be honest and say if something is wrong instead of ghosting or blocking without stating the reason. Fair warning if I can be socially awkward sometimes and don't know what to talk about so please be patient with me as I'm learning to be better conversation wise

• Do Not message me just to ghost or block me! Think it through before you message me!! I don't want to get emotionally hurt again.*

Greetings future partner ❤️ I'm still searching for you. I have to be honest and say that I am losing hope trying to find you.Please be somewhere. I want my search for a partner to be over. I'm seeking adventure in my life with someone I can call a forever partner. I'm tired of the loneliness and the sheltered lifestyle that I've lived. It would mean a lot of you could read through this post so that I could make sure we are compatible. Even if we start off as friends that would be fine.
Here's to new beginnings and new connections. PLEASE make sure you READ through the WHOLE POST also please be respectful when messaging me * *If you're the type to be impatient, block, or ghost easily, then save both of us the trouble and DO NOT message me! I'm not trying to come off as mean but I'd much rather you not message me if you're the type of person to do that. If something isn't working just let me know. We're all adults.
Greetings, I am seeking a long term relationship monogamous with the end goal being matrimony. I am not one for playing around and being used casually as it doesn’t suit me personally. Ideally I'd prefer a man that has his life already in place so that I can be able to share life with him and for him to take care of me. I would expect my future man to have a fiscally stable job and be able to support me and our future family. I wouldn’t be opposed to being a housewife. There are few reasons why I would like to work or work part time: 1) Being abandoned with nothing, 2) I want to feel fulfilled and not bored. Happy to discuss possible dynamics, I'm flexible. I would love a synergistic partnership where we are both able to mold our minds and fill our hearts with warm affection. I will be there to support you throughout your journey and celebrate every moment with you. I want you to be proud of you just as you are with me. I want to show you that you are truly cared for and appreciated by gestures of love such as massages and other forms of entertainment. I would expect the same from you as well. Even if we are both working adults we can still make our relationship work in the best way possible. I have seen this come out well for people who are dedicated and willing to make their relationships work. For a strong relationship to occur I would expect effective (transparent) communication from you. If you are going to be busy just be honest and let me know you won’t be able to talk to me.Also, if you need your space both mentally and physically let me know. I understand that we all have our lives to attend to but it is incredibly important for people in a relationship to be transparent when circumstances arise in a timely manner in order to avoid future conflict. If this relationship isn’t going to work I would expect you to tell me and not ghost or block me before giving me a reason why. We are all adults so I would expect nothing but maturity. Starting out I don’t want the pressure of sex to be pushed onto me. I’d rather let time tell in all of its glory.
Now onto my true introduction
My name is Angie and I'm from Georgia in the United States. I've been lonely for quite some time and find it hard to find a soulmate in IRL. What I'm looking for is someone who I can connect with and have wholesome conversations with. I want to be able to treat my future soulmate well just as much as they do me. The biggest part of a long lasting relationship is the ability to communicate openly without worry. I'd love it if my significant other has a dark sense of humor and continues to crack me up non-stop. As cheesy as it may sound I long for those late night calls and cute texts. I want for us to drive out the very best in each other; become our support system. A little bit about me is that I grew up in Florida and not too long ago moved to Georgia. I'm currently in college to become an RN but I'm also passionate about cosmetic chemistry and nutrition so I may seek to build my own business in the future. I'm passionate about science and theoretical applications especially within the medical field. I'd appreciate it if my partner is open minded about varying topics and welcomes healthy conversations. Appearance wise I'm open to seeing if we have a connection and feel as long as you are well groomed and practice basic hygiene you are good. Although, I must say that attraction is key in a relationship so I will have to go off on that as well. To add on, I enjoy playing video games, exercising (I've been slacking off lately), cooking and baking (vegan), playing board games, reading, exploring nature, playing sports (basketball and soccer) for fun, and trying new experiences. I hope to save up and travel someday. It would be nice for my partner to be able to set up our travel itinerary.
My Physical Description:
I am a black woman who’s twenty five years old (almost 26 in December) with Afro-Carribean, Japanese and Swedish ancestry. I’d still consider myself black presenting since that’s more along the lines of what I appear as phenotypically. I have dark brown curly hair (Mainly 3c type curls) and brown eyes. I am 5 '4 on the thicker spectrum (not at all obese but thick boned and have thunder thighs). I am trying to exercise more to become fit. I used to weight lift when I was younger but since then have lost lean muscle mass. Having a partner that is willing to work out together sometimes is rather rewarding. A man who has drive and appeal is incredibly sexy. I would also like to point out that I am curvy and noticeable in certain aspects (I’ll leave it up to you to decide).
*You have to be MINIMUM 21 to date me *
If distance is an issue and you aren't willing to commit then DON'T MESSAGE ME!!
If you will be too busy to pursue a relationship then DO NOT contact me!! * *Again, No ghosters or blockers!! Seeking a person who seeks a relationship with God and/or is open to one MUST be free from venerial diseases (must be willing to get tested) Bonus points if you're vegan Ideally I would like someone that is taller than me (I’m 5’4) I prefer a man that is fit or trying to be. I'd prefer someone who is fiscally stable and able to support the both of us* A big red flag for me is smokers. It isn't good for your health nor is it sexy to me.* It's important for me to point out that I want children in the future and need someone who may want that as well. If you're interested in how I look and want to know more about me, message me. Although I don’t make it a huge deal, I do prefer White and East Asian men. But I do love all types of men and welcome them. As stated before I emphasize communication and would prefer you to be honest and say if something is wrong instead of ghosting or blocking without stating the reason. Fair warning if I can be socially awkward sometimes and don't know what to talk about so please be patient with me as I'm learning to be better conversation wise

So we've got this small terraced garden, the first step of which is pretty useless. The area to the right of the stairs including a rockery is about 4m x 2m, the area to the right which is totally pointless (featuring a small decorative wall that's crumbling) is about 1.8m x 2m.
I've just been quoted £8250 to remove the entire bottom terrace to the boundary of the top lawn, with a sleeper retaining wall and steps moving to the right of the garden, then decking to cover the area and the small yard up to the level of the back kitchen door (removing the step, which would be very helpful tbh for our small dog). A large part of this is the labour because there is no way to get a digger in due to the attached garage and narrow doorway, so I guess it's wheelbarrow all the way.
It's a little more than we wanted to spend, and we were thinking to get two separate quotes, one for just removing the right hand side and just having a flat surface put down so we could add our own decking and us building a small outdoor kitchen/bbq area, and another for the whole bottom first terrace removal, and again some form of flat surface so we could choose what we wanted.
Main issue to me is any retaining walls, I've no idea how complicated it would be to dig up to these, do these typically go all the way down for example. And of course, if we dig the rockery out, how do we shore up the top lawn on that side.
Any ideas?? It does seem like we're not 100% sure what we want, and tbh that is pretty accurate!
Thanks for any advice and/or ideas!
Pics https://imgur.com/a/C1qblOw

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Edited by WaveOfWire
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Two days… It had been two days that Tracy had gone to sleep while Harrison was working, only to come back in the morning to see him still in the workshop. She knew he was damn productive, sure, but that really couldn’t be healthy. Apparently, it had something to do with the weird bowl of orange… soup… that Cera gave him. No way was it just caffeine; any amount of the stuff would have been filtered out of his system by now. He mentioned a tingling feeling too…
Damn, she did not know enough about drugs to even start assuming what that massive alien had Harrison fucked up on. At least the scanner said he was ‘fine’—if you ignore the other glaring issues the machine brought up. Plus, he said he didn’t mind it. Either way, he managed to complete the weaving component and a few other electrical backbones of the fabricator last night, so the project was practically done, and after seeing the engineer work himself half to death, she was dead-set on finishing it.
She was currently tits-deep into the upper manufacturing portion of the towering machine. It took a tall step-stool—on top of the nearby desk—for her to push her small shoulders through the even smaller access panels high on the everything-printer. It was difficult to fit her torso in, but she managed, holding a flashlight between her teeth as she fiddled with a stubborn series of mechanical ‘hands.’ Nothing new. The situation reminded her of the ‘shop back on Mars; it had the same ever-present scent of copper and industrial sealant. All that was missing was her dad’s ancient tunes blasting through some shitty speakers… Hold on…
The modular component in her grip was successfully attached with a resonating thock. Tracy squirmed out of the dim wire-filled crevice, trying her best to not rip her only tank-top on any bolts or corners, and getting a face-full of the bright flood-lights illuminating the workshop. She scowled and blocked out the searing light with a hand, but she was a bit too late to avoid going half-blind.
“Are the mechanical manipulators in?” Harrison grunted, poking his head out underneath the printer’s floor-adjacent maintenance hatch. She looked down at him as she tried to blink off the spots in her vision. His hair was messy, barely kept in line by his habit of combing through it with his fingers. The areas around his eyes were dark and sunken… Guess that’s what two all-nighters did to a man. He’d be seeing the hat man or start hallucinating if he didn’t get any sleep soon… but then again, the two of them were so close to finishing the fabricator…
“You bet.” She gave him a thumbs up, slamming the panel cover closed. “Feel free to test it.”
He nodded and slid back underneath the machine. “Gotcha”
She gently stepped off the stool and slid off the side of the desk, stretching herself out. If her piss-poor sitting posture or her tank-top puppies hadn’t already fucked her spine up, bending over backward to build this fabricator sure as hell would. She sat down next to the panel where Harrison resided, resting her back against the fabrication tower. Her excited voice broke the muffled noises of the engineer’s work. “So… Harrison?”
“Hmm—”
“—Mind if I play some music?”
The sounds from the hatch stopped, followed by his muffled, shocked tone echoing from beneath the fabricator. “You have music!?”
She smirked at seeing the expression on his face when his head popped out again. “I sure do… Did you seriously not download any to your data pad?”
He slipped out from beneath the fabricator fully, huffing as he took a knee beside her. The scent of melded rubber, wire, and his liquid labor reached her nose not-so-unpleasantly. “You would not believe how much of a pain it is to repair an entire barracks without it… So, yeah, I didn’t.”
“Sooooooooo, whatcha wanna listen to? I’ve got almost everything on here—besides the super niche, of course.” She pulled her data pad out, swiping to the massive music folder
“You wouldn’t like the kinda music I listen to; It’s ancient.”
She gave him a lighthearted, annoyed glare. “Welcome to the club… Now what’ll it be?”
“It’s Old Earth kind of ancient… but alright” He looked up at the ceiling in thought, lips pursed. “Do you have anything from Styx or Sweet?”
She stared at him incredulously, her smirk turning into a fully-fledged smile. “Oh my God. You are an absolute dork! You actually listen to Golden Age music?”
His brows raised, accusatory. “And you somehow know exactly who those bands were and what age of Old Earth music they came from?”
She smugly leaned in closer. “That’s because I’m just as much of a nerd with that kinda music as you apparently are.” She quickly looked upward, addressing the workshop AI. “Sebas, connect nearby speakers to my data pad’s audio.” Tracy elbowed the engineer lightly as the PA system chirped its affirmation. “Now, Mr. Golden Age music, which albums do ya want me to queue up?”
- - - - -
The two of them listened to music for hours, tossing on songs they liked as they came to mind while they worked. Harrison had a ton of recommendations that spanned all over the Golden Ages and some twenty-first century classics. She didn’t even know half of them, but she was vibing either way, adding on her own taste by intermingling some older rock tracks and newer electronic beats. The playlist was steadily built up as the day went on. Thank God her dad showed her a vast array of tunes; she might not have been able to keep up with the engineer if her old man hadn't.
It made the work go by so fast, their conversations blurring as they jumped from topic to topic. They discussed whatever came to mind—old hobbies, old jobs, and old interests. A lot was left behind in Sol… At least she knew that the only other human on the planet was more interesting than a soulless workaholic. It turned out that he was a pretty big history buff, and he apparently read a lot about the colonization of the Sol system and the various wars of independence thereafter. Curious, she asked where the interest stemmed from, and he explained that his grandfather was an admiral in the Slavic-Europan deep-ice submarine fleet, which explained how Harrison’s mother was able to afford to immigrate to Mars from Europa.
He could also play an acoustic guitar, and, unfortunately for Tracy, he wasn’t even the slightest bit interested in printing one out, citing that it was a waste of time and material that would be better used elsewhere. That didn’t stop her from writing a note on her data pad to do so later, though. She hadn’t seen someone play one of those in years—the last time was probably in some old music video from the early twenty-second century. What a shame. She would have liked to hear some of the Europan songs his grandmother taught him.
On the bright side, the man seemed to take an interest in her odd hobbies. He brought up the folder of 3D models that she accidentally uploaded to the inter-module system and asked where she got the inspiration for what was in it. Boy, was he not ready for her ‘WarHalberd40k’ lore dump. Props to the guy for not standing up and leaving the workshop throughout her rambling. He even asked questions about the different factions and their weapons, which she was more than happy to talk about.
She also ended up going over the other franchises and hobbies she was interested in, such as robotics and the like. The only interruptions to their chat were the occasional Akula or Craftsman asking for insight regarding the various tasks he had allotted to them, or Shar coming in to check up on Harrison between guard shifts.
The new dynamic of the group was pretty interesting, to say the least. Tracy hadn’t been out to interact with the whole lot of Malkrin, but she definitely noticed how they treated the engineer. They’d started to look up to him in a way ever since he started showing off technology. In a little over two days, the man had shown them that he could provide the materials for a brick house, fine clothing—especially by the alien’s standards—armor, and delicious food. That wasn’t even mentioning the other benefits the technician heard a few of the ‘banished’ talking about over their meals: heating, electric lights, and other assorted machines.
She’d be feeling pretty happy about herself if she was in his position, having so many look up to him and be grateful at the same time. He seemed to view it a lot more robotically, however, only striving to get the basics done. Luckily for him, his basics were their luxury.
That wasn’t all there was to the topic; the engineer lamented about how the colony was going through food just as quickly as materials. The meals weren’t the direct issue he had, more that he had to start focusing on long-term resource harvesting rather than directly preparing for a literal horde of monsters—which wasn’t exactly ideal. It was a good thing that they just so happened to take on an influx of Malkrin then…
Either way, they finally finished the ‘totally legal modification’ for the fabricator, meaning they could at least partially address the latter half of his worries. The whole process of ripping out an old printer and replacing the parts for a new one felt a lot easier than she imagined… even if it took her at least forty-eight hours to complete it… with help from Harrison. Maybe that was why it felt so easy… She supposed the colony overseers didn’t choose the man for no reason, so his skills made sense.
“So… what do we want to print out first?” Tracy questioned, having finished testing the last major component.
The engineer stretched his arms up into the air and rotated his shoulders, then pulled back the desk’s chair and took a seat. “I’ve had just one thing in mind since the start of this whole project.”
Her brows raised in a mix of excitement and curiosity. She leaned forward, looking at the computer monitor from over his shoulder. “Oh? What’s that, then?”
A smirk formed along his cheek, the computer mouse rapidly clicking through the blueprint folder. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about what kind of firearm we need since I started dabbling in belt-fed weapon systems.” He opened one final file, a short loading bar preceding the exploded assembly view of… “An M2 Browning machine gun. It’s more than powerful enough to kill in one shot, while also being capable of fully-automatic fire, with a capacity of however many rounds we want in a belt-box.”
“Uh…huh…” She gave a skeptical nod and took a step back, not exactly sold on the idea. “It looks ancient. It’s kinetic, right? Why aren’t we using energy-based weapons? Don’t we have a gunpowder shortage coming up?”
He moved his chair off to the side to look back at her. “We just can’t; Simple as. We’ll need who knows how many more AI cores before we can get started on that level of equipment, Trace,” he huffed, returning his gaze to the specifications of the firearm. “This isn’t the most ‘modern’ weapon we can make, but its twenty-first century counterpart helps with an improved design… somewhat. And, as I said before, it should be more than capable of killing a bug in one shot, so Shar can just tap-fire it to save ammunition.”
Her head tilted quizzically. “Shar?”
“Yup,” he returned confidently. “It’s the perfect weapon for her.”
She raised a brow. “How so?”
He held his hand up, counting his reasons on his fingers. “She’s always on the front line with a shield, she can absolutely handle the weight and recoil, her four arms make reloading it simple, plus she’ll need something with range and power that isn’t a spear. So, why not? And, if for some reason, she doesn’t want to use it, we can just convert it into a turret—which is something I was planning on doing anyways with however more M2s we print out later.”
“I doubt she’ll say no to any gun you give her,” Tracy chuckled while shaking her head, inadvertently causing her bangs to cover her eyes.
“Fair enough,” he conceded with a bob of his head. “What do you think, then? What kinda weapons do you have in mind?”
She reapplied her goggles into an impromptu hairband, feeling a smirk cross her face. “Thought you’d never ask. What purpose do we need these guns to fulfill? Hordes I’m guessing?”
“That’s the idea, yeah. That doesn’t mean they all need to be machine guns, though.” He tapped the belt-fed shotgun beside him.
“Well, lemme see what we’re working with first.” She suddenly stepped forward, leaning over Harrison’s seat to access the keyboard and mouse. Her arms briefly rubbed against him, forcing him to roll his chair backward. She suppressed a giggle at seeing his incredulous frown.
Her eyes quickly traced the hundreds of individual files, clicking through all sorts of folders, each arranged from pre-twenty-first century ‘antiques,’ to more modern iterations of kinetics and particle weaponry. There was… a lot on there—almost too much to reasonably comb through. Why? Did the colony overseers just say ‘fuck it’ and put whatever they could find on here? Were they expecting the pioneers to make a museum of everything?
She sighed, standing up straight and facing Harrison. “Y’know, I’m actually impressed you managed to find that M2-whatever in there…”
He shifted in his seat, resting an elbow on the desk. “Yup, there’s a lot. I’m almost tempted to just make several of those machine guns and just call it a day, but I feel like that’d be too much of a strain on resources, no?”
“I don’t really know enough about how you fight those spider-crab things, or how to get more gunpowder, so… maybe?” She shrugged, biting her cheek in contemplation. “You might just wanna make a few smaller caliber weapons… like, uh… those old kinetic service rifles. If your pump-action shotgun works fine, I’m sure some normal guns would work just fine for now, right?”
He hardily gripped his firearm, hauling it up to his lap. “Depends on what you mean by ‘smaller caliber.’ The whole reason why the KS-23 here works—” he pulled out a massive shell from the ammo belt, displaying it on his palm. “—is because the twenty-three-millimeter round has enough energy transfer to mess up any bug's shell and insides. I’d say the smallest rounds we could use would be point-two-forty-three caliber to get any similar results.”
Brief flickers of grungy orange shells and gnashing teeth marred Tracy’s sight. She forcibly suppressed them, distracting herself with dry humor and a strained laugh. “Guess those fuckers can really take a punch, huh?”
He shook his head somberly. “I couldn’t imagine going up against them without a gun… Anyway, I like your idea of a standard rifle for now. Then, when we have some product lines up, we can go a little more in depth into personal weapons.”
“So are you gonna take one?” She hopped up on the desk, letting her legs swing off the side.
“Don’t think so, no. I’ll stick with my shotty.” The internals of the heavily modified weapon rattled as he held it up and inspected it. “Doesn’t mean I’ll keep it as is. I’m thinking of printing a laser aiming module so I can point-fire it accurately, and maybe a melee-oriented muzzle brake or a lighter chassis to reduce weight… Not sure though.”
She leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees, her cheeks in her palms. “Melee-oriented? Oooooh, like a chain-sword or something?”
His short chuckle coerced a smirk to her face. “No, not like that. More something to use as a bludgeoning tool. Right before the blood-moon, I ended up getting just as much use out of this shotgun as a hammer than as a… well, a shotgun.”
“That’s pretty fuckin’ metal. So are you just gonna make the barrel into a giant bayonet?”
He nodded. “Not exactly a bayonet, but something more like a door-breaching break.”
A short silence settled on their conversation, the faint sounds of the fabricator’s hum and distant woodwork coming to light. Right, there was an outside world… She’d been too caught up talking to Harrison for however many hours it had been. She wondered how successful the fisherwomen were in collecting, and how things had been for the others working on the wood storage shack. Maybe it was already completed? The sun peered through the cargo bay door, proving that it was only about midday. What else would they work on today?
“Hey,” she ventured.
“Hm?” the engineer hummed, his eyes focused on the monitor beside the technician.
She scooted closer to his keyboard. “What’re we doing after this?”
“What do you mean?”
She leaned backward, propping herself up on two hands. “Project wise; what’s the next big thing?”
“Uhmmm…” he muttered, interacting with the computer for a few more seconds before finally meeting her gaze. “Well, I’ve just allocated the fabricator to print out the M2, three FALs—wood furniture, of course—then there’s the magazines and ammunition, so we’ve got a lot of time to kill. The next big thing is definitely going to be metal procurement, and— Oh, right!” Harrison stopped mid-sentence, reaching into his backpack and pulling out several finger-sized metallic cubes, a sudden fire in his eyes. “Okay, so a while ago, during an encounter with three colossi, Shar and Akula found a cave with some ‘surface’ metal deposits. I took a piece off to analyze, but never got the chance to until last night. Anyway, we don’t have any machines to examine the ore, so I made use of the recycler and broke it down to its baser components.”
She nodded along, seeing where he was going with his explanation. “I’m guessing those shiny cubes are the metals from the ore?”
“Sure is. So, as it turns out, we have a pretty damn close supply of not only iron, but also, zinc, sulfur, and a small amount of cadmium. I talked with Sebas about it and did a little research. We believe it’s something akin to sphalerite, given its composition and looks, which implies it’s a sedimentary exhalative deposit. That means there must have been some volcanic…”
Harrison continued talking about underwater deposits and ancient rock formations, bringing up some theories brought forward by the now 4-AI-core-powered Sebas, delving into the current land mass’ history and possible ore output. A lot of it went over the tradewoman’s head, but she still listened intently… Honestly, she could have listened to the man talk about finding metals for hours. It was sort of like the podcasts she used to listen to while completing colonist training, but even more personal and somehow easier to get lost in…
“…find some other minerals further down like silver, but it also might be an active lava zone. Again, these are all theories and this world could just throw the fundamentals of geology away as it does for physics. Anyway, sorry for going on for so long about that, just thought it’d be important for getting some metals in the future.”
“No, no,” Tracy assured, alleviating him of concern with a wave of her hand. “If there’s anything the colony overseers emphasized, it was farming and mineral acquisition. Don’t worry.” She smiled, pointing a thumb to herself. “I just wanna know how I can help.”
“Actually, I’ve a few things only you can do. I’d like to make use of your impressive drone-making expertise for a few applications, if you don’t mind.”
The task of keeping eye contact slipped into an impossible feat in the span of a singular second, planting a pang of embarrassment on her reddened face, forcing her to inspect her fidgeting hands. “I-I wouldn’t say ‘impressive’… b-but what do you have in mind?”
She could see him raise a brow out of the corner of her vision. “Well, after what you’ve shown me with the reconnaissance flyers, I’d like your help in setting up a more permanent ‘net’ of them to scour the meadow and parts of the nearby forest to look out for any approaching hordes. I don’t want to be snuck up on… again…”
‘Again.’
She noted his small frown and sunken eyes, both a little more exaggerated than they already were. It wasn’t like she’d deny his request, but the pangs of empathy over their shared situation all but solidified her resolve. It was the least she could do. She could help him. She would help him.
The technician exhaled slowly, taking on a more serious and understanding tone than before. “I… can do that. For sure. What else?”
“I appreciate it.” He gave a wane smile. “I’ll help you with whatever you need for the project. For the other drones, I’m thinking about a small exploration vehicle to map out caves around us and mark any minerals, as well as a submersible to look for potassium deposits in the ocean.”
“So… search bots?” She crossed her arms, confidence growing; those were her specialty. “Depending on how long the fabricators take and what kind of base drones are in the blueprint folders, I should be able to get those done in no time. All I need to know are the search cues for potassium and how many drones you want.”
He quickly shuffled a few folders on the computer, turning the monitor for her to see some scientific documents with various images and walls upon walls of text. “There’re plenty of resources for that on here for what to look for, and there’s always Sebas, so feel free to ask him since he can just sort through the data for you anyway. If you can, I’d like it if you could focus on the submersible after the reconnaissance drones.”
“Sounds good to me. I’ll be right on it, then.” She gave him a thumbs up, slipping off his desk and toward her own.
“I’ll bring you lunch in a bit. Imma go check on the others,” he called.
Her stomach grumbled at the mention, her head turning to give him an appreciative smile. “Oh! Thanks!”
\= = = = =
Avian creatures chirped from their perches in the trees nearby. The wind softly rustled red leaves as grass gently gave way to calculated footfalls. A warm sun laid its light on Shar’khee’s neck. It was surprisingly pleasant, were one to take the time to notice. The mainland was a confusing place for the paladin, with its disparate representations of nature contrasting so heavily. Some days were filled with blood and ravenous beasts, while others were left within the domain of simplicity and beauty. She was content to have the latter, yet it felt like a facade veiling the former—a soft exterior covering the maliciously spiked interior. Never could she leave herself to carelessness, no matter how welcoming it might be.
Hence why she worked to ensure the safety of the star-sent’s castles and their inhabitants, her days largely spent patrolling for any roaming swarms that may wish to cause them harm. She typically used the routine to think, but today offered little in the way of solitude. This time, she was accompanied by the previously banished guardswoman, and was tasked with instructing the new one, though the specifics of what such lessons should entail were vague. Still, Shar’khee did all that she could so as not to disappoint Harrison, so she could only attempt to meet his expectations of her.
She told the yellow-skinned female of the threats that the settlement faced, how one was to defeat them, and what to expect from the beasts. The guardswoman was directed to practice her form with the spear in both thrusts and throwing for some time afterward, proving herself to be well-built. Such was expected of her profession after all.
It was pleasing to have another capable of patrolling the settlement’s outskirts for swarms, as it would greatly impact how effectively the colony could react to such a threat. If her routine was to suffer for the colony’s well-being, she was happy to show the new one her patrol route and note what to look out for.
The guardswoman was not a perfect student, however. Shar’khee never addressed it directly, but the yellow-skinned female obviously discredited the danger posed by the abhorrent, not-so-subtly shrugging off any warnings.
…That was until they stumbled upon the ‘hyena-boars,’ as Harrison called them.
The beasts resided in a clearing not too far from the castles, carelessly meandering across the sea of tall grass. Shar’khee quickly crouched, dragging the guardswoman down with her. Once she assessed that the creatures were not an imminent danger, she decided it would be an excellent opportunity to show the new one how to properly engage a threat. She was about to propose the idea, yet her speech was silenced just as swiftly.
Orange flashes darted through the trees around the glade. Taloned feet and gnashing teeth tore across the ground toward the unsuspecting beasts at the center. It was much too late for them. They were slow. Surrounded. Unaware. It was as quick as it was vicious, the forest’s reds turning a deeper crimson hue in a moment's notice underneath the abhorrent’s brutality.
Gangly monstrosities gnawed and ripped at the dead creatures, brief glimpses of raw flesh and white bone protruding from the small spaces between the clumped-up beasts. Repulsive wet splatters of blood and gore overlapped the calm noises of the forest, the grisly scene serenaded by the softest of nature’s symphonies. It was a sickening juxtaposition.
Shar’khee bit back the unease and steeled herself. They were within twenty paces—close enough to smell the abhorrent’s vile stench of rot and bile, yet far enough so as not to be noticed. She briefly considered backing away and retreating, her focus bouncing between the different avenues of escape, or how to cover her footst—
Crack.
Several sets of feral, eyeless maws snapped in their direction, the blood dripping off freshly dampened teeth. The guardswoman gasped, Shar’khee’s gaze following to see the mistake: a singular broken branch crinkled as a yellow-colored foot raised off the splintering twig.
The paladin exhaled sharply and smoothly stood up, brandishing two spears and her shield. Her glare settled on the still crouching guardswoman. “You are to stay behind my shield and let them appr—ch. Rem—ber what I have told you. Aim for their maws when you thrust y—r lance.”
The other female nodded, shakily pulling out her own weapons with unsteady placement hampering her grip. There was an obvious nervousness to her gaze. Hesitance. That would not do.
Shar’khee faced the prowling abhorrent her knuckles shifting hue as she prepared for their advance, for there was no chance that they wouldn’t. True to her experience, the stalking turned to a gallop with several clicks of grotesque tongues, the swarm bolting toward her as one. She snarled and slammed her bulwark into the ground, letting the approaching beasts skewer themselves amongst its spikes.
There were only ten—a paltry amount. She had defended against magnitudes more, and yet she still stood. What is more, they were mindless. Uncoordinated. They would be but stains in the cloth she used to clean her armor. Perhaps, if they were fortunate, they might leave a furrow in her shield to remember them by. Her arms tensed as the first leapt.
One by one, the abhorrent fell, their repulsive green blood splattering under her thrusts. Each awaiting corpse tore across the grove’s grass, lunging to their deaths with gaping maws and unfeeling hunger, yet she did not yield. Their shells were crushed by her shield and impaled by her Goddess-blessed spears, becoming but one more smear across their surface. Ten motionless lumps lay before her, seeping their ichor into the soil, none having passed the barrier she became. Dead, just as the Creator intended. She remained vigilant for a few moments longer, watching for any more of the disgusting creatures.
None showed themselves, finally allowing blood to flow to her fingers once again. The shield’s heavy presence weighed down her back, the blood flicked off of her spears before she returned them to their place.
“Are y–u well?” Shar’khee addressed the frozen Malkrin, wiping away the splatter on her bracers. The guardswoman stared at the small pile of deceased creatures, her heavy breaths and widened eyes moving from the spear from her singular kill. The paladin huffed. “We are fort—ate that there were so few.”
“F-Few? God help us…” Her horrified, stunned gaze slowly met the paladin’s. “Y-You said there were hundreds on the crimson nights? H-How do you… They were s-so fast.”*
”As I h–ve warned,” Shar’khee affirmed.
“You are a paladin! You all exaggerate your feats… I thought it was just a facade!”
“I have no r—son to lie,” she returned tersely, shrugging off the insult to her station and shaking her head. “The mainl—d is far more dangerous than ten gnash—g beasts; more so than that of your island hamlet. Pick yourself up. We m—t inform the others of this incursion.”
The yellow-skinned female snarled, furrowing her brows at the ground in frustration. At whom…? Shar’khee? Herself? Regardless, the female promptly gathered her composure, pushing air through clenched jaws. A step forward had her feet splash in the small pool of blood, the Malkrin nodding toward the paladin to continue back to the castles.
“…for the village.”
Shar’khee paused in her stride and faced her, frowning at the determination and anger leaking through the intent. “W—t was that?”
Her question was returned with honesty, a huffed voice marred by vexation. “Paladin, how am I to defend my village-mates as I am now?”
“‘As you are now?’ What do you m—n?”
The guardswoman stared down at her spear, wood creaking under her grip. “I have faltered before what you deem a paltry threat, and the thought of an even greater one sows dread deep within my bones. I wish… I wish to be better prepared to defend those of my village. I cannot help but see their faces on those of the furred creature in the clearing, and yet, even if I am so close, I am just as unable to protect them.”
Shar’khee stared down the yellow female, a long gaze taking in a rare showing of sincerity. “Y—r fears are one we all share, new one. Do not be ashamed of them. All t—t matters is that you do not let them rem—n mere fear, but make them your strength. So tell me, do you wish to impr—e? To ensure they do not fall while you are support—g them?”
The yellow-skinned female released a shuddering breath that bled off the worst of her indecision, a newly invoked flame flaring within her visage. “I do, paladin. I seek to protect and to be of use.”
“Then, if you wish to make y—rself resilient in the face of all that opposes us, it would be my undertak—g to forge you anew. Fortunately, Harrison has ordered such already, and his guidance shall prove ever useful, should you pursue it.”
The guardswoman shuffled in place at the star-sent’s mention, her eyes slipping downwards. “He is of a great many resources, but I would rather receive your teachings than those of a craftsman… or that of a male, deity-sent he might be.”
She placed a palm on the female’s shoulder. “He is far more than you might ever k—w. Regardless of if you ac—pt his guidance, I commend your conviction. However—” Her hand gripped tighter, though not enough to instill hostility. “—understand that you are protecting more than just your vi—age-mates.”
The new one nodded, staring up at the paladin with stallwart resolve. “Of course. I shall be in your tutelage, then.”
Shar’khee smiled. “T—n let us begin.”
\= = = = =
Akula was becoming increasingly certain that she knew how her parents once felt. The green-skinned fisherwoman was currently rotating between the many tasks placed upon her, guiding the newcomers through the minutia of their tasks so they might live up to the potential Harrison saw within them. She was gratified to have her own talents recognized by the Creator, but it also placed a great many responsibilities in her talons. Of course, she handled each new addition with finesse befitting her heritage, never once balking from the increasing demands. If anything, she felt validated; it was required of her as a female anyway, was it not? The more feminine-appropriate labor and management one undertakes, the higher authority they were granted.
It began with a simple assignment to oversee the chef’s introduction to the star-sent’s provided cooking appliances. As fascinating and convenient as utilities were, she held no interest in preparing any more food than she already had, but teaching another to operate the machines would alleviate such requirements of her. She reluctantly accepted the task when it was proposed, especially considering the fact that Harrison was much too busy with his other projects to bother with something as benign as cooking. His work was more valuable elsewhere.
The task itself went well, and the pink-skinned chef was quick to pick up on the use of the various kitchen devices, as well as the smoker. A grin had grown when she considered the possibility of all males understanding such domestic things readily, yet her mirth at removing the masculine job required of her was short-lived. Despite the newly initiated Malkrin’s success, Harrison had Akula frequently return to oversee the numerous cooking operations being conducted. That was in tandem with the back-to-back fishing trips made by both herself and the newly acquired females.
…Which was something else the green-skinned cycle-worshipper was ordered to oversee.
She had left the chef to his devices after producing another batch of partially seasoned meals, returning to the Creator with hopes of a break. He applauded her efforts with a nod and tersely spoken appreciation, then quickly pushed two spearguns into her hand and directed her to the ocean, where the twins were ‘working with jack shit,’ as the busy male said. She was to give the fisherwomen the tools and make sure they were used properly, and offer additional assistance in acquiring ‘enough fish to have us fed for a little bit.’
So, she left to complete the given task, feeling somewhat appreciative that her speargun was of superior quality to those she would be delivering—the newcomers were only afforded the lesser, roped-bolt version. It was only natural that she was in possession of their greatest assets, of course; the star-sent saw her as the only one capable of wielding such fantastic ammunition, showing trust that was rightfully placed in her. That did not mean the gray-skinned females were unsatisfied with their own gifts, however. The twins were swiftly caught up on the ‘manual of arms’ and sent to work, somehow managing to keep up with Akula in spite of their land-based origins. The two were fast enough to outpace the cycle-worshipper in sheer speed, but their lack of numerous winters spent traversing deeper waters meant they required frequent rests, breaking the ocean’s surface after every third captured fish or so.
Still, she had to appreciate their dedication to their task. They never complained about Akula pushing them further to reach the star-sent’s vague objective. Such a task was entrusted to her—and by proxy, the other two—and thus it would be completed, no matter how much her comfortable bed… couch called her tiring muscles.
The group of three hauled net after full net of fresh meat to the chef—and sewist, who later joined him—forcing him to relegate much of the catch to long-term storage as the kitchen simply could not deal with the surplus. At least three-quarters of the fish were put to slow cook in the now Malkrin-sized smoker. The craftsman had upgraded it with a kit provided by Harrison, who had recycled much of the dining room and workshop furniture to accommodate it. The Creator’s showcased urgency to gather materials was clearly not unfounded… It was admirable how he used what little he had left to ensure food would not be scarce. Additionally, the apparatus exuded an excellent scent for all the survivors to enjoy, the earthy aroma drawing in some of the other Malkrin for their breaks or meals.
Those were not the end of the cycle-worshiper’s tasks, however. She was also required to report on Shar’khee’s progress in training the guardswoman—helping to recycle the small swarm of abhorrent they cleared earlier—as well as the wood storage building’s progress. Indeed, she was advising and assisting however and wherever applicable. To say she was seen all around the settlement would be an understatement.
Nevertheless, she was appreciative to see her efforts bearing fruit by sundown. The processing of their meals from sea to plate was quite efficient, and those that Akula taught were now well-practiced in their duties. The twin fisherwomen dove from wave to wave, bringing fish back to the barracks, where the cook and sewist swiftly worked to transfer the meat to pans and smoker hooks alike. Then, the remnants of the Sea Goddess’ aquatic gifts would be subsequently recycled and given purpose anew as biofuel or perhaps future fertilizer.
The endless onslaught of duties and responsibilities had enlightened her, in a way. She could see where Harrison came from now; having a working project go from one point to another without input nor difficulty was a sight to behold, and it made her swell with pride. It was a surmountable feat to teach the barbaric ground-worshippers to do something properly.
…Well, they were not horrible Malkrin, so perhaps simply calling them ‘uninitiated’ was a more apt descriptor…
No matter the tribulations faced, and no matter how draining her new authority might be, her rest at the end of the day would be one that was well-earned, and it would be had with a sense of satisfaction. She deserved it, and perhaps that extended to the rest of the settlement as well.
- - - - -
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Next time on Total Drama Anomaly Island - Mine! Mine! Mine!

I don’t really know where the story of my alcoholism begins, though I only admitted I was an alcoholic about one month ago, and as of the time I’m writing this, I’ve only been sober for about 30 hours.
I never remember drinking in any meaningful capacity until I enlisted into the Marine Corps at 18, directly following high school. I’d rather not go into much detail about my service, but I remember many times partying with fellow Marines on the weekends or on leave and getting absolutely shitfaced, but it was never a regular occurrence, and I never drove drunk, got caught by my superiors, or ever really thought about anything other than the horrible hangovers I would get.
After getting medically retired, and moving back home, this is where I believe it slowly began. I started processing the unaddressed traumas of not only military service, but as I reconnected with family for the first real time in adulthood, I began to realize how my family had adversely affected my formative years, and how the mental, verbal, and sometimes physical abuse began to come up to the surface of my daily reality.
But even still, I was a cigarette smoker and would very seldom do things like smoke weed. Drank socially and rarely to excess.
Between 2012-2014, I believe, is where things began to start escalating, though still slowly. I had a horrible relationship end horribly. Got fired from my first job. Had to drop out of school. I was quickly going broke (due to said lost job). I got fortunate in mid 2014 to land a cool healthcare job. I worked nights. I began to notice I would come home every morning and drink 2-3 VERY stout martinis. And it got worse on my off days. That is until I discovered bourbon.
I loved everything about it. The history. The process of making it. The diversity. The taste. I found myself going out more and more to bars, distilleries, etc. Buying, collecting, building a network of friends who also enjoyed bourbon. Talking about bourbon to fellow coworkers.
In 2017, following multiple break-ups/get back togethers with my girlfriend at the time, I found out she was pregnant, and I had just started working for a very busy EMS system while also in school. The relationship was not stable, and shortly thereafter, I had the final falling out with my family after their despicable behavior in the final months of pregnancy and when my girlfriend delivered my beautiful daughter.
Due to an absolute shit work schedule (24 hour shifts), a hectic school schedule (typically 2 school days and at least two clinical days), an unstable relationship, and new parenthood, I believe this to be the turning point. I remember not wanting to come home. I remember wanting, needing to drink. I remember my anxiety and depression beginning to unfold rapidly. But somehow, it still never reached a critical mass. When my daughter was 3 months old, I broke off the relationship, we moved to our own places, and decided to coparent.
As time moved forward, I began collecting and consuming more bourbon. At first, I was very good about not drinking much or anything at all on my days with my kid. I started working a lot of overtime, sometimes working 2.5 shifts (60 hours) straight, because money I guess. But this added stress on my body and mind and the constant exposure to the ugliest of illness and injury, trauma and despair drove my need to drink, my anxiety and my depression even further.
I began driving tipsy. Getting in stupid arguments with my next partner and leaving to go on a bourbon “hunt.” I began working more because I was spending insane amounts of money on allocated bourbons. And I would be surprised and somehow prideful that I’d put down a half bottle of rare, high proof bourbon the night before, but ignoring the fact I couldn’t remember shit about that night until my partner reminded me of how much of an asshole I’d been.
That relationship eventually ended. In truth we weren’t good for each other for many reasons on both sides, but on my side, my drinking got way out of hand. I drove tipsy or drunk regularly. We got in an argument one time downtown and I left her there because she didn’t want to be in the car of a drunk driver. My drinking, among other things, caused me to become emotionally abusive and an emotional roller coaster.
After it ended, I found a new version of myself after a long period of severe depression and anxiety and got back in to many of the passions I’d neglected for years. But I still drank. Heavily.
I left EMS to work in the ER for better hours, pay, more professional support, etc. It was a godsend. Or so I thought.
Then I met my new partner, my current one. We’ve been together for over 3 years. We both struggle with depression and anxiety. But I’m the only one who still struggles with alcoholism. And as it has gotten worse as each new relationship begins and ends, I’ve found that in this one it’s reached the absolute critical mass.
I’ve gotten so drunk that I had a massive panic attack and held a gun to my head. Thankfully my former best friends were also there to talk me down (I say former because I recently had a bender where I kicked them out of my life).
I’ve gotten so drunk that I’ve continued to drive drunk, and that has resulted in my flattening a tire on my car, and backing into a parked care at a Mexican restaurant. The latter generated a county sheriffs deputy to come out for a police report and I somehow did not get a DUI.
But I continued.
Countless drunken fights. Countless times of us fighting and me kicking her out of my house, for her to drive 35 mins back to her house and for us not to talk for a few days.
And then the past month.
I drank so much over a few days that I was suicidal, so much so that my partner couldn’t get through to me, it turned mildly physical (from what she said, me grabbing her arm, which I’d never in my life done before), and ended up leaving my house and calling crisis, and because I was also making threats and am a gun owner, it generated a SWAT response in my neighborhood. Somehow SOMEHOW, I was never pulled out of my house and taken to get committed.
I stopped drinking entirely after that. Went through moderate alcohol withdrawal for three days. And then started drinking again after six days following a very mild disagreement with my partner that set off my anxiety. And, me being the idiot I am, didn’t realize that drinking would make it worse.
I managed to not drink liquor for roughly two weeks following that argument, but drank beer instead. Never really got drunk or even tipsy, but was still drinking. I was “cutting back.”
Then this past Monday, another bender lasting 48 hours. Back in the bourbon. Started by a mild argument that escalated, and quite frankly almost ended us due to a breach of trust (I was at fault). She needed to take a day to process and I got pissed and went out and bought $130 worth of bourbon and finished a 1.75 liter bottle of 101 proof bourbon in 24 hours. She came over, we fought, she left. She came back over, we fought, tried to leave and I physically wouldn’t let her, she left, she came back.
I ended up stopping, but not until I began having quite literally the worst pain, located in my lower abdomen, that I’ve ever experienced in my life. She forced me to go to the ER we both work at. I wasn’t acting drunk, but people, my coworkers knew. I wasn’t admitted because my abdominopelvic workup was negative. But at least now I understand why people get addicted to opiates. And after the truckload of IV Dilaudid (hydromorphone) I received, and the horrible constipation that has followed, I don’t ever want any of that shit again.
And now, today, I don’t ever want alcohol again.
I’m so tired of not remembering. Of having intimate moments with my partner and not remembering them. Of missing sunrises because I can’t get up before 2 pm. Of being fooled that I’m drinking to cure my anxiety and depression when, in fact, it makes it so much worse. I’m 35…I don’t want dementia when I’m 50 because I’ve damaged my brain so much. I’m tired of the person that alcohol makes me.
I had myself convinced for so long that I was a happy drunk, a fun drunk. And maybe I was in the past. But I was still an alcoholic. And while I may always be, I don’t have to be addicted to it anymore.
I have a long road ahead, and I hope to not fall down again. I realize I may, due to the stressors of life and parenthood and relationships and my job. But I can choose to not stop at the liquor store before I go in to work tonight so I can drink tomorrow morning after my ER shift. I can choose to not drink when my partner and I go out to eat Monday evening for our weekly Mexican food. I can choose each day to be sober.
And I’m gonna try.
—-If you read this entire post (long I know) I hope you realize the two things I’ve realized in my very brief period of not drinking:
That, one, alcoholism is such an insidious, sneaky evildoer that tricks you into believing you’re not guilty while also tricking you into using it to calm your depression and anxiety, even though it exacerbates them. It shifts the blame and convinces you that it isn’t the problem, much like a partner or employer might gaslight you.
And, two, that me telling my partner I’m an alcoholic and trying every day to stay clean, while only being in the second day has been simultaneously the most defeating and hopeful feeling I’ve felt in a very long time.
My second day. I hope for many more.

Male/27/280lbs
Non smoker Non drinker I chew smokeless tobacco
About 5 months in to strictly Whole Foods and constant exercise down from 350lbs over the span of a year on and off dieting and exercise I am down 40 pounds in the last 5 months
I have spent the last 10 years of my life surviving on fast food alone. That’s how I went from in great shape 185 lbs to an anxious 350lb ball
LONG HISTORY OF HEALTH ANXIETY
I have had EKG’s, 1 echo, blood work of just about everything. All normal.
Within the last couple years my lipids were as follows
2021 Total Cholesterol/Triglycerides/LDL/HDL mg/dL 161/245/83/30
2023 Total Cholesterol/Triglycerides/LDL/HDL mg/dL 191/216/114/35
2024 Total Cholesterol/Triglycerides/LDL/HDL mg/dL 161/103/111/29
Today I went to the ER for the 3rd time since Sunday for racing heart, numbing in face feet and hands, difficulty breathing, pain in left arm. You name it. They always ask me what might be stressing me out at home and this time I finally said I think I’m stressing that I have plaque build up and it’s causing these symptoms. He told me he can’t give me a Coronary CT or CT calcium score in the emergency room but he can give me a CT angiogram of my head neck and lungs and tell me if he sees plaque where I’m concerned about. He was by far my favorite doctor but I’m worried that he hid some stuff from me to protect me for the next couple days since he knew I wasn’t in immediate danger and recommended I follow up with a cardiologist despite saying “everything looked awesome” the reason this doubt arose in my head was because they found two pleural effusions and a benign growth. Which to me is definitely less than awesome. Can anyone here help me chill out? I saw my primary this morning and she upped my lexapro and recommended therapy so I have seen a doctor.
My family history.
My paternal Grandma beat lung cancer in her 80’s and is still going strong.
Paternal Grandpa was an overweight diabetic who had strokes that didn’t seem to bother him at all. Died in his late 80’s seemingly of old age.
My dad has an aortic aneurysm and never goes to the doctor or takes medicine and he’s in his 60’s and has smoked all his life.
My mom is a 60 year old asthmatic with copd and smoked all her life.
Maternal Grandpa unknown
Maternal Grandma died of lung cancer before I was born
Sorry for the lengthy introduction but I’m desperate. Once you hop on to the mental health train around here, it’s hard for symptoms to be taken serious. Problem is, I understand why. I just can’t accept it. I want peace of mind. So please anyone who can. Help me

Male/27/280lbs
Non smoker Non drinker I chew smokeless tobacco
About 5 months in to strictly Whole Foods and constant exercise down from 350lbs over the span of a year on and off dieting and exercise I am down 40 pounds in the last 5 months
I have spent the last 10 years of my life surviving on fast food alone. That’s how I went from in great shape 185 lbs to an anxious 350lb ball
LONG HISTORY OF HEALTH ANXIETY
I have had EKG’s, 1 echo, blood work of just about everything. All normal.
Within the last couple years my lipids were as follows
2021 Total Cholesterol/Triglycerides/LDL/HDL mg/dL 161/245/83/30
2023 Total Cholesterol/Triglycerides/LDL/HDL mg/dL 191/216/114/35
2024 Total Cholesterol/Triglycerides/LDL/HDL mg/dL 161/103/111/29
Today I went to the ER for the 3rd time since Sunday for racing heart, numbing in face feet and hands, difficulty breathing, pain in left arm. You name it. They always ask me what might be stressing me out at home and this time I finally said I think I’m stressing that I have plaque build up and it’s causing these symptoms. He told me he can’t give me a Coronary CT or CT calcium score in the emergency room but he can give me a CT angiogram of my head neck and lungs and tell me if he sees plaque where I’m concerned about. He was by far my favorite doctor but I’m worried that he hid some stuff from me to protect me for the next couple days since he knew I wasn’t in immediate danger and recommended I follow up with a cardiologist despite saying “everything looked awesome” the reason this doubt arose in my head was because they found two pleural effusions and a benign growth. Which to me is definitely less than awesome. Can anyone here help me chill out? I saw my primary this morning and she upped my lexapro and recommended therapy so I have seen a doctor.
My family history.
My paternal Grandma beat lung cancer in her 80’s and is still going strong.
Paternal Grandpa was an overweight diabetic who had strokes that didn’t seem to bother him at all. Died in his late 80’s seemingly of old age.
My dad has an aortic aneurysm and never goes to the doctor or takes medicine and he’s in his 60’s and has smoked all his life.
My mom is a 60 year old asthmatic with copd and smoked all her life.
Maternal Grandpa unknown
Maternal Grandma died of lung cancer before I was born
Sorry for the lengthy introduction but I’m desperate. Once you hop on to the mental health train around here, it’s hard for symptoms to be taken serious. Problem is, I understand why. I just can’t accept it. I want peace of mind. So please anyone who can. Help me

Thank you to u/SpacePaladin15 for creating the NoP-verse and allowing fanfics!
This was co-written with u/ImaginationSea3679 and is a sequel to The Way of the Human!
Prequel startPrequel endFirstPreviousNext
Memory transcription subject: Thass, Arxur-UN Cooperative Liaison
Date [standardised human time]: 27th of November, 2136
The cursed meeting was taking far longer than I could bear, and much the same could be said to the pathetic diplomats we were negotiating with. Despite their initial bravado, it quickly wore off and they grew fearful of my presence. So when a recess was suggested, I was relieved that it was agreed upon that we would spend [45 minutes] away from the bureaucracy for a decently timed break.
I sighed as I reclined myself in a chair. Human furniture was extremely comfortable, more than it probably had any right to be. The leaf-licking predators were arguably soft, but they had a fierce streak hidden under that calm and weak persona. The speed at which I’d seen a personality shift in some humans was so sudden I sometimes wondered if I was even talking to the same person when it happened.
What was I thinking about again?
Oh, right, furniture.
…
Well, I have no other thoughts on the furniture. I should move on.
Helaven and Barisis were eagerly munching on salads and fruits respectively. I myself had myself a freshly cooked steak, which Barisis was trying to avert her eyes from. Human food was really starting to grow on me. I had already come to enjoy the higher quality meat from my time on Earth, but the longer I had it in my diet, the more I came to appreciate the tiniest of details in the flavour.
The slight char from the ‘cooking’ process was a surprisingly savoury addition, creating a contrast from other meats. If I had the opportunity, I wished to further explore the possibilities offered by Terran cuisine. Learning how to correctly burn the meat would be a terrific way of enhancing the flavour. It was supposedly one of humanity’s greatest feats, so that only made me more eager to-
I was caught off guard by a smoky scent that most definitely did not come from my meal. Was another piece of meat being cooked?
Sniff
EURGH, FUCK!
The deep breath meant to identify the horrid smell instead sent me into a coughing fit. It was like I was breathing in toxic fumes!
“Fucking- cough -Prophet!” I wheezed, feeling like my lungs were being stabbed by hundreds of tiny needles. “What is that- cough -horrible smoke- cough -in the air!?”
I turned to see a human female holding some sort of roll of paper that had been set on fire. The human then proceeded to-
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!” Helaven shouted as I stared in both awe and absolute terror.
This human was literally breathing cinders and smoke without any sort of complaint.
“I’m taking a smoke. What the fuck does it look like I’m doing?” The human said with an almost incredulous expression.
Was this sort of extreme toughness normal?!
“YOU JUST INHALED FUCKING SMOKE! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! DO YOU WANT TO FUCKING DIE?!” Barisis joined Helaven in her screeching. “HAVE HUMANS SOMEHOW MISSED THE DANGERS OF SMOKE INHALATION!?”
The possibly deranged human looked confused. “I’m just taking the edge off, what’s the problem?”
“What’s with all the screaming?” asked an annoyed Hans who had just arrived, accompanied by a meek looking Udey. “I’m on the verge of a God damn headache, so please, just stop it.”
“It’s the xenos who are yelling!” defended the insane human. “I’m just trying to have a smoke and they’re acting like I just kicked a puppy.”
The human Captain sighed. “Jana, you know how things are,” he began, looking at the now named human. “Aliens don’t know what smoking is, they have no idea what to think. Just try to explain to them what it is you’re doing instead.”
“What reasonable explanation is there for burning one's lungs?” I questioned, still baffled by what I was seeing. “And a soldier who needs to be in tip top condition, no less!”
“That's what the kerfuffle was about?” the nervous Harchen Minister spoke. “I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm with the Grey on this one. How can one justify the thing it-... he described?”
Gendered pronouns already? My, my, he's quick to learn how to address me properly.
“Well it helps me focus, alright?” Jana explained grumpily. “Helps get rid of stress.”
“You mean to tell me that smoke isn’t poisonous to you?” wondered Barisis, sounding amazed. “That would make you incredibly powerful against Exterminators. The ashen air wouldn't harm you!”
Hans sucked in a breath, hesitating a moment before speaking. “About that…”
“Don't tell me it is bad for you, yet you still allow her to do it,” the aqua-skinned medic said, sounding like she already knew the answer. “Please, Hans, captain of this whole operation. Tell me that this is not the case.”
A voice different from Hans answered. “Nope, you're correct. Lung cancer is a bitch and that lady there is gonna get intimately familiar with it soon.”
It was Tyler, the human who introduced Risha and her… Venlil lover to the defector Vraka.
I’d decided not to mention either defecting Arxur to my superiors when bringing in that scumbag Vizz, as they clearly didn't seem up for battle for much longer. I was saving rations that would ultimately be wasted as they’d be executed for being defective. It wasn't about mercy, it was purely logical. By sparing them, they’d no longer be our problem and the real traitor was brought to justice either way.
Oh how I enjoyed seeing Chief Hunter Isif gut that bastard Vizz’s with his bare claws. And shooting the corpse a couple times for good measure had also felt pretty good.
Informing the Chief Hunter just how Vizz was defeated was almost just as good. Taken to a draw by a measly Venlil, infamously one of the weakest species in the galaxy. The humiliation that traitor felt in his final moments was better than even the juiciest cut off meat.
Pulling my mind back to the present, I noticed that the two prey medics were still arguing with the ‘smoker’ Jana.
“...incredibly serious afflictions, yet you give yourself them willingly?!” exclaimed Helaven in exasperation.
“Look, it's my concern, not yours, so shove it,” replied the female soldier with a hostile tone. “Quit whining or it’ll burn up before I can smoke it.”
I decided that after my bout of silence it was time to voice my opinion on the matter. “Excuse my language, but why the actual fuck haven’t you detained this woman for her complete and utter insanity?” came the question, directed at Captain Hans.
Hans opened his mouth, but was interrupted by the female human. “It’s my fucking body. I’ll do whatever the fuck I want with it, Lizard.”
That hardly seemed like an excuse to me. The body was a sacred thing. It was one’s embodiment in the galaxy, and to actively damage it of one’s own will without care for the consequences was not only idiotic, but beyond disrespectful to oneself.
I found my thoughts being agreed upon as Barisis scoffed. “Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.” She pointed an accusatory tentacle at the human.
“Well, your kin shouldn’t have engineered the galaxy to conform with your primitive bullshit excuse of a worldview, yet you still did it for no other reason other than because you could!”
…
Silence permeated through the room as the Kolshian shrunk, her skin seeming to both pale and darken, a remorseful expression developing on her face. Helaven immediately went to comfort her.
“Jana…” Hans said as my attention was brought to him and the stern expression he bore on his face. “That was completely uncalled for and needlessly hurtful.”
“Yeah,” Tyler said. “Very not cool.”
Feeling oddly offended by the human’s harsh words toward Barisis, I decided to defend the Kolshian’s honour. “If she shared her government’s and people's views, she would have remained on Aafa with the rest of them,” I stated coolly, though adding an edge of anger to ensure that my opinion came through clearly. “The fact that she is able to bear being in close proximity to not only your species, but mine, should be all the evidence required to debunk the idea that she subscribes to her society’s ideals.”
Then, the Kolshian in question did something entirely unexpected.
She left her open position and took cover behind me, shielding herself from the hostile human female. Even more shockingly, she grabbed a hold of my tail, as though it would further protect her.
Did she… find comfort in my presence? No, no, that couldn't be possible. She simply sees me as the biggest piece of cover available.
“They're just concerned for your health, dude,” Tyler pointed out, gesturing to the medics and myself.
Jana huffed. “Whatever. I’ll just go smoke somewhere else.”
With that she left, forcing me to hold my breath as she passed, lest I breathe in that horrid smoke.
“Urgh, dammit, my head is pounding,” complained Hans, sounding exasperated to a degree I had never heard from him before. “I need some water or else I’ll be stuck with this for the rest of the day.”
With that, he left, Tyler following behind him.
The tentacles of the prey medic let go of me as she no longer needed to protect herself from the harshness of the huntress-soldier. She looked at me timidly, as though she expected me to yell at her for her behaviour. Instead I gazed at her with a mostly blank expression before she sheepishly returned to her salad bowl.
With the drama over, I returned to my meal, scarfing it down with speedy efficiency. While I’d been enjoying its flavour, the fight, and all the talking that had come with it, had drained my desire to savour it. The quick influx of flavours was good, but I washed it down with a glass of water.
Quite surprisingly, Udey, who openly disliked me, sat down at our table, taking a seat by Helaven.
“Do humans really do that kind of thing often?” he asked. I noticed despite being in such close proximity to me, he remained relatively relaxed.
It was a truly strange thing when I thought about it. So many leaf-lickers, who only mere [months] ago would've cowered at the sight of me, now tolerate, or possibly even enjoy, my presence. The change felt almost unnatural to me.
And yet… I didn't dislike it. It was like I was experiencing how the galaxy was meant to be. Of course, that was impossible, as predators were superior to other life, with Arxur on top. It was probably just that these prey were particularly tolerable for their kind. Yes, that was what it was. And the Harchen were former omnivores, which meant their natural state made them closer to us than they would've wanted to admit. They, and all other ‘cured’ species, were our mutilated kin. It was their right to be restored to the status of true sapients.
If possible, I wanted to convince our leaders to take up that goal. We would no longer be anomalies, or a coincidence. We would have dozens of our sort. We were at the top, of course, but they would be tolerated by the rest of the Dominion. A brotherhood of hunters. Quite an appealing concept, in my opinion.
Leaving the maze of thoughts in my mind, I noticed the two medics and the minister were having a blast of a conversation, with humans as their topic of discussion.
“No, you're messing with me,” chuckled the Harchen. “There is no way that they're the weakest of their family.”
“It's true!” Barisis exclaimed. “Out of all the apes, the animal family humans belong to, they have the least muscle mass. A wild ape is stronger than even a highly trained human.”
Udey guffawed in amusement. “That is unreasonably funny. To think we were afraid of them!”
Really? If what the Kolshian says is true, that's very interesting. No wonder humans prefer ranged weapons. I knew they were physically weaker than us, but I didn't realise they were also weaker than the beasts of their own planet.
“They still have binocular vision like my kind. And as arboreal descendants, I’d wager their eyesight is even better than ours. That means they can see you from very far away, Minister,” I added to the conversation, watching the colouration thin in Udey’s scales.
“I see…” he murmured, sounding put off. “How… comforting…”
“Quite,” I mock-agreed. “They’re always watching, those humans. Ever vigilant. Ever-seeing.”“Thass, you arse, stop it,” Barisis commanded. My snout shifted as the front of my lips curled, an equivalent gesture to when Hans would raise an eyebrow at his underlings’ actions. “He’s uncomfortable, so you’re doing to stop it.”“Are you ordering me, prey?” I asked, adding a twinge of hostility that normally wouldn’t be there.
The aqua Kolshian was unfazed, a massive change from a month ago. “Maybe it was. What are you going to do about it?”
Such a brave, foolhardy thing, she is.
I snapped my jaws at her, making her flinch ever so slightly, but otherwise she didn’t move. Her unwavering made me let out an impressed chuckle. “Very well then, doctor. I’ll listen, for now…”
“And the next time too,” she responded confidently. “You like to bluff, but I know you’re full of it.”
“Want to stake your tentacle on that claim?” I asked with a cold but tone. Though I was amused, I didn’t let much of it show externally.
Wordlessly she stuck out her limb. A month ago, she had been afraid that I would eat her. And yet now she was goading me into taking a bite out of her. She wasn’t just foolhardy, she was downright overconfident.
Moving my head toward the outstretched manipulator, my powerful jaws opened as I got closer. Udey and even Helaven looked worried, but the Aafa native did not. Even as her tentacle was in my mouth, she didn’t pull away.
Saliva dripped onto her, making her shudder. And yet she still refused to back down.
She’s not just toying with death, she was outright tempting it, goading me into trying. I don’t know if I should be impressed, bewildered or both.
Unwilling to back down, I took it a step further and ran my tongue across her limb. The taste of her skin was pleasant to the palate, much better than the steak I just had. As I had to have won with that step-up, I waited for her to register what I did.
Out of all the responses I expected, amusement wasn’t one. “You’re gross,” the medic snickered.
I started to laugh, stunned and awed by her lack of fear. She was a mere meek prey, yet was entirely unafraid of my powerful jaws ensnaring her precious body parts. It was so ridiculous it became funny!
My laughter soon became full on cackling as I relented, letting Barisis win. “You are really one brave Kolshian!” I chortled. “An exemplary specimen of your kind!”
“Wuss,” she chuckled jokingly, far more amused than the Harchen or her colleague sitting across from her.
“Don’t count on me backing down again, Barisis,” I jested. “You taste far better than anything I’ve eaten in the past [weeks].”
Unexpectedly, Helaven snorted.
“Something funny, Hel?” asked the Kolshian quizzically.
She snickered, having to take a moment to speak. “Spicy~”
“How DARE you!?” I roared in genuine offence. “To accuse me of… feeling for prey! Urgh, no!”
I stormed off, absolutely fuming. The Zurulian had the nerve to accuse me of such defectiveness to think I could develop weak feelings for a weak creature. The very thought made me sick to my stomach. Quite clearly she was too used to Risha’s less-than-standard tastes to assume that I would share her tastes. Herbivores were unworthy of my mere gaze! She should be honoured that I speak to her at all! The fucking gall to call me defective in the vilest way…
If it weren’t for our truce with humanity, I would rip her worthless spine out here and now.
My legs had carried me by themselves as I brooded in rage and had taken me far in a short time, having walked out of the building entirely without realising. I was furious with that fucking Zurulian, and wasn’t planning to speak with h- it, nor the Kolshian, anytime soon. Fucking bitch…

Ok, a lot of people seem confused about Fire Tornadoes and how they work. So many posts saying "My Objective/LZ is on fire!".
Here's why:

1. Tornadoes follow patrol paths, and use ground pathing, just like a regular patrol.
2. Tornadoes choose a path when they spawn. This path is usually drawn to intersect one helldiver's position at random.
3. Tornadoes may occasionally change direction, in which case they will draw a new path, that may also intersect a helldiver's location, or just wander off.
4. Tornadoes will generally not cross un-traversable terrain (ridges, rocks, mesas, buildings).
5. Tornadoes do not CHASE you - but they follow ground terrain paths, so if you're running down a narrow canyon in front of one, it will take the same path.

In short, think of them as totally blind enemies who must walk along the ground like everyone else from point A to point B, and every minute or two they get a 'ping' about where you are and draw a new path to try to find you.
Avoiding individual tornadoes is easy - either stand in the open and move laterally to them (same way you avoid a charger), or get up on something they can't path over, like a building or mesa.
Just remember that if your squad is all standing together then all the tornadoes are going to wander across that position over the next minute or two. The area you are standing on is going to turn into a hellish inferno.
There are two ways to avoid this:

1. Spread Out. The tornadoes will also spread out with one or two pathing in the general direction of each squad member, this makes them easy to avoid.
2. Stay grouped, but keep moving. The tornadoes will cluster, but most will be where you were, not where you are.

Your LZ is an inferno because you are all standing on it before Pelican arrives. Don't do that. Either spread out, or fight a moving battle AWAY from the LZ point, and only dash to the LZ as pelican is on final approach.
Now you know how to avoid fire tornadoes, and not turn your LZ into a Cajun BBQ. Good diving!

For anyone who is interested, here is a detailed report of our days at Disney World this May! For this trip it was just me and my 8 year old son; husband and older son had to stay home for school and band.
I thought it would be lower crowds in May but it still seemed very crowded! The weather wasn’t my favorite either, it was either very hot or storming for the days we were there.
I do a LOT of planning in advance and use Genie + and Individual Lightning Lanes (ILLs), so we didn’t end up having to wait long for anything! We got 3-day park hopper tickets so we could do all 4 parks in 3 days. Information shared by everyone online helped me a lot in planning so I hope this report can help someone too!
Day 1 (Sat): Arrival at Pop Century
Got a ride from Tiffany Towncar from MCO airport, and arrived right around 3 pm. I reserved a preferred room but we got the 70s building instead of 60s, and it was a little further from the skyliner. We enjoyed the room, but it would have been tight if all 4 of us went. We went to the pool, they also had tie-dye shirt making and a campfire but my son preferred just to swim. He made some friends and had a great time. Mobile ordered some dinner at Everything Pop.
Day 2 (Sun): Hollywood Studios - Mother’s Day!
Woke up before 7 and purchased Genie +, booked Slinky Dog Dash, and ILLs for Rise of the Resistance at 11 and Cosmic Rewind at 5:45 pm. I modified Slinky Dog once it got to the evening time I wanted, around 7 pm. They don’t show you the LL times between 7-7:30 am which is super annoying!
Showed up for the skyliner at about 7:20, and there was quite a line (it started running at 7:30). We got to Hollywood Studios and through security by 8:00 or so, and then they let us in to make our way to Rise of the Resistance. No wait at all, and we were in the attraction by 8:20, and done by 8:30. We got to do Millennium Falcon with no wait either. Rey was out when we got off the ride, and we got to talk to her. Went over to Dok Ondar’s, my son wanted a new sith Kyber crystal - since we were there early, we got to talk a lot with the cast members there about the holocrons and such, that was fun! Got some blue and green milk (and some little sweet rolls they had), as well as cocoa puff iced coffee at Kat Saka’s. Some storm troopers and a First order commander came out and interacted; my son had a toy Darksaber with him, so they threatened to confiscate his unauthorized weapon :) Picked up a breakfast Ronto wrap and snagged a photo in front of one of the ships.
Next I had planned to do both Muppets and Star Tours before the Frozen show at 10:30, but we were running behind so just went straight to the show at around 10:10. I loved it! My son not so much, he’s not too into the shows.
After Frozen we headed back to Rise to use our Lightning Lane and go on it again! I was planning around it possibly being down, but it was up both times we rode it! After that we built custom droids at Droid Depot (reservation for 11:50), and played with them for a bit outside. It started to rain so I had to get some plastic bags to carry them, as they just give you cardboard cases that wouldn’t be good if they got wet! I wanted to see the First Order show at 12:30, but I guess they don’t come out when it’s raining so we missed that one. Got more blue and green milk and did some Datapad games, and looked in the shops. We really enjoyed Galaxy’s Edge!
Next we went to go meet Darth Vader (did the Disney Visa one which has no wait at all) and BB-8, took our droids out to show them.
Then we went to Star Tours, got a Kashyyyk mission/show with Ahsoka. Lunch at Sci Fi Drive-in at 1:40, which was a Fantasmic dining package thing. Enjoyed our meal - son is allergic to peanuts and tree nuts and most places were very accommodating about it.
Went back to the room for a break for about 2 hours.
We both love Cosmic Rewind, so at about 5:00 we took the skyliner over to Epcot just to ride it! It was a loooong walk through mobs of people at Epcot but totally worth it! Row 5 rules! We got Disco Inferno as the song, same as when we rode it 2 years ago.
Hoofed it all the way back to International Gateway, and caught the boat back to Hollywood Studios, aiming to be there about 7 pm.
All day I had been reserving LLs every 2 hours, and modifying the times to stack them up. So we grabbed a quick photo pass photo, then went on Mickey and Minnie’s Railway, Slinky Dog Dash (so fun!), Alien Swirling Saucers (not very fun), and Toy Story Mania all in a row. Headed down towards Fantasmic, and grabbed some great meat and potato waffle bowls at Fairfax Fare to eat while we waited for the show to start. Got reserved seating with the dining package, but we were still advised to arrive 8:20-8:30 for the 9 pm show. Fantasmic was wonderful! Skyliner had a line getting home but moved quickly. Met some nice people on the way home!
Missed out on Muppets and the First Order show, but it was a great day! We were already worn out from all the walking :)
Day 3 (Mon): Animal Kingdom and Epcot
Animal Kingdom opened at 7:30, so we woke up very early and got the bus. We arrived at Animal Kingdom around 7 I think.
7 am booked Kilimanjaro Safaris for 8:15, and ILLs for Flight of Passage (FOP) at 8 and Cosmic Rewind for the evening.
I was debating whether to rush to FOP to be able to go on it twice, but we weren’t up for hustling over there and I didn’t want to delay our whole plan if it ended up having a wait.
So we went to Navi River first, then enjoyed an empty Pandora and got a stuffed pancake and a pineapple cream cheese roll at Pongu Pongu - we weren’t really fans of either. At 8 we used our ILL for FOP and got right on, we love that attraction!! Shopped at the Pandora store and my son got a glowing spear thing (that broke down to fit in his backpack).
Then we headed up to Africa for the Safaris. Booked a LL for the Lion King show. Did the Gorilla Falls trail pretty quickly, saw the meerkats and gorillas.
Grabbed a frozen lemonade for son, then went to the amazing Lion King show. Booked a LL for Kali River Rapids.
Then we did the Rafiki’s Planet Watch, which we had never done before. The petting zoo was pretty small. We walked around the place for a bit, got to ask a cast member about how they feed the painted dogs and she had so much interesting info. Took the train back, then grabbed some food at 8 spoon cafe - mac and cheese with BBQ beef on top was great! Ate it while we enjoyed the Viva Gaia music and dancing at 11:45.
Went to Dinosaur which I had also gotten a LL for (grabbed an orange-swirl Dole Whip at Trilo-Bites on the way!), but unfortunately it went down while we were waiting. So we went ahead over to Kali River Rapids. Son got soaked! We could have put ponchos but we knew we were going back for a break right after. We considered staying for Feathered Friends at 1:30, but decided just to see the macaws at Winged Encounters at 1:15 instead and head back to the room a little earlier.
Nice break in the room, I took a much-needed nap.
At around 4:30-5 got on the skyliner to Epcot, but a storm was coming in and we got stranded at the Caribbean Beach station. After about 30 minutes of waiting there they brought a bus to take us to Epcot…people were pretty grouchy, and it was raining hard so we got pretty wet also. Made it to Epcot and went to Soarin and Living with the Land, which I had reserved LLs for. I was able to snag a LL for Remy for like 7:30, but we didn’t end up being able to use it.
Then we did Cosmic Rewind again around 7 pm using our ILL. This time we got “I Ran” as the song. That coaster is the most fun I’ve ever had on a ride!! And I don’t even like roller coasters. Son shopped at Wonders of Xandar, got a hat. Then we had to eat so we went to Connections - I had put in a mobile order in advance, but it still took like 30 min to get food so we ended up missing our Remy LL. Stopped at Club Cool, son got a frozen lemonade with soft serve on top :) Then we watched the awesome light show on the big ball, and made our way over to get a spot for Luminous, at the front of world showcase. It was wonderful!
You could see lightning around so I was very worried about taking the skyliner back after what happened that afternoon, plus the line was pretty crazy. So we ended up walking to Boardwalk resort and getting a Lyft back to Pop. That worked out well and let us get back sooner for more sleep!
Day 4 (Tues): Epcot and Magic Kingdom
Boy were we tired! It was hard to get my son going in the morning.
7 am booked Test Track for 9:45 am, and ILLs for Tron and 7 Dwarves. I really wanted to do an ILL for Cosmic Rewind again but they only allow you 2; and the virtual queue is just too unpredictable for me, plus still potentially a long wait.
We actually took a Lyft to Boardwalk again in the morning instead of trying to take the skyliner to Epcot. Skyliner worked well for Hollywood Studios, but it was kind of long to Epcot and we wanted to rope drop Remy. We walked from Boardwalk to Epcot (grabbed a coffee on the way) and were there by 7:45 am for an 8:30 am early entry opening. I was actually the first person to scan into Epcot that day lol, at least from the International Gateway. They let us in the park, but kept us at a couple of different points before finally allowing us to line up for Remy at about 8:20. It didn’t seem like they started the ride until right at 8:30. Lines were already insane at that point, but we were toward the front and got right on. Remy is cute - I didn’t notice any of the smells people talk about. Not sure it’s worth the hassle to be able to ride it though.
After Remy we lined up to get into Les Halles for breakfast, which opened at 9. Oh man the smell in that bakery in the morning!! Got egg croissants and a beignet (after talking to attendants about son’s allergies), both were amazing. Grabbed a photo pass photo and walked down toward Test Track, exploring Canada and UK on the way. Test Track had a bit of a wait even with the LL, but at least it was running! Son really enjoyed it. I booked a LL for Big Thunder Mtn for later in the day. After Test Track we considered Mission Space, but didn’t want to wait 30 min for the green side, so just explored the Advanced Training Lab. Then we did Project Tomorrow under Spaceship earth, and then the Aquarium in the Seas area. Walked through Journey of Water as well.
Then we headed up to visit some of the countries. Did Gran Fiesta Tour, and caught Mariachi Cobre at 12:00. The wind suddenly got crazy and you could tell a storm was coming (just when we were about to head back to Pop on the skyliner :/ ) I mobile ordered a pretzel bread pudding at Sommerfest, which was delicious! Then the storm hit. Everyone took cover indoors, we went into the Japan area and walked around the shop and art gallery to wait it out. After about 30 min it was safe to go outside again, and we were exhausted so headed for the exit (grabbed a steam bun from the Japan booth for son on the way, and frushi which I didn’t care for). The skyliner was closed, and I didn’t feel safe getting on it anyway, so - you guessed it! Walked to Boardwalk and got a Lyft back to Pop to rest.
Had a nice long break, then headed to Magic Kingdom on the bus around 4:00. Big Thunder had gone down during my LL time and the LL disappeared, but it showed up in the My Day area as an Experience pass (took me a while to find it). I also booked LLs every 2 hours for Magic Kingdom rides, and updated the times through the day by Modifying, so we were able to do all of these in a row with no waiting:

• Pirates
• Big Thunder Mtn
• Philharmagic (Haunted Mansion was down)
• Haunted Mansion (came back up)
• Seven Dwarves Mine Train
• Got food at Gaston’s - cinnamon roll was stale! They’re better in the morning
• Barnstormer
• Tron Lightcycle Run - So great! We both loved it, and it’s my son’s favorite now
• Mad Tea Party
• Buzz Lightyear

My son is all about the rides, so this was the best way for us to enjoy MK on this trip even though it was only half a day! Then we checked in for the Post-fireworks dessert party at around 8:40 and got a good spot for the fireworks. Sat on the ground until the show started at 9:20. I loved it! We got a couple of desserts, again after consulting with the chef about son’s allergies, and I had a pog-juice mimosa. I figured the bus line would be down after being at the dessert party for a while, but when we got to the Pop bus area there were like 300 people waiting there. At least 10 buses worth of people. So I decided to jump on the nearest bus that was there, Riviera, and then got a Lyft from there to Pop - this time we did a Minnie Van which was expensive but fun because you get a cast member to talk to.
Day 5 (Wed): Heading home
We finally got to sleep in and take it easy in the morning. There was a storm in the morning, and shortly after I got a text from Southwest that my flight (scheduled for 2:00 pm) was subject to be delayed or cancelled. We were going to go swimming but decided to skip it, and just got breakfast. They made a special nut-free meal for my son which was great. Packed up and did the arcade for a few minutes, then Tiffany Towncar picked us up at 11:30. Our droids were our carry-ons BTW. Shortly after we got to the airport they delayed our flight 3 hours. Then kept pushing it back periodically. The weather was cleared up at this point but they said it was due to weather, I guess that one storm in the morning caused Southwest to get completely derailed. We were in the airport for 6 hours then finally got to fly home. At least it wasn’t cancelled! Some people said they were stuck in the plane on the tarmac too and got delayed so I’m relieved that didn’t happen to us; I am very nervous to fly to Orlando again though, esp with Southwest.
Overall we had a great time and really enjoyed the mother-son time together! Our favorites are Cosmic Rewind, Tron, and Galaxy’s edge, and I just love the nighttime shows especially Fantasmic! Ideally we should have had a rest day though, the mid-day breaks were good but we still needed a full resort day in there. We walked 11-12 miles per day, 25K + steps!

Hi folks,
I'm having these health issues:

• Burning eyes and throat
• Asthma and respiratory difficulties
• Coughing fits

These issues are caused by my neighbor's indoor cigarette smoke being drafted into my flat through the closed door. The smoke is more intense than standing next to a smoker outdoors, the air currents seem to concentrate it. It is on par with taking a draught on a cigarette directly, or burning tons of incense in a small unventilated room.
It's a clear health hazard along multiple dimensions;

• Were this a workplace, I expect it would cleanly violate health and safety regulations or something related to duty of care?
• If I still worked my old job at the children's hospital, the level of smoke currently coming from my clothing (from being stored in the flat) would be grounds for dismissal. (no-third-hand smoke policy).
• Were this a hotel or regulated B&B, I expect there would be some code or law violations happening regarding the ventilation and front-door construction?
• The science was clear decades ago: living in this flat is akin to residing with an indoor smoker long-term, and we all know the health statistics there. But moreover, I'm having health problems now.

What can I do?

• I'd try to talk to the neighbour, except that has only ever made things worse in similar situations in my life experience. A conscientious person doesn't fill their apartment stairwell with clouds of smoke, and I don't know how to engage with non-conscientious neighbors without risking trouble. I'd need coaching I think to even attempt :/
• It's rented accommodation in an old council building; I'm not in a position to relocate;
• I'd welcome ideas for how to stop the draught through the door, except: I'd need to block the mail slot and key hole though, so I need an answer that still allows me to receive post and exit the front door.
• I already use a steroid inhaler, it's not (currently) helping, and I can't use the albuterol inhaler in the evenings due to its stimulant effects.
• Opening windows makes it worse, I assume by increasing the smoke-filled air flowing in. Closing the windows isn't enough to bring it down to safe levels either.
• I expect this is probably "It's legal, nothing you can do", but darn this is messed up. I'm having coughing fits and my eyes and throat are burning half the evenings. It's truly exacerbating my asthma, it's nothing to do with the smell and it's not about "dislike" or "discomfort", it's a real medical issue.

Is this generally considered ... the way things should be? Surely this level of health impact indicates building code or tenant law has been violated, in relation to habitability? (Never had to deal with this before.)
Edit 1: Keep in mind I'm a bit of an idiot and there may be obvious answers I've missed. Also, disappointing answers are still welcome as they bring closure.
Edit 2: Assuming no current recourse, is there is a broad-consensus regulatory or policy change that would help? I'd be happy to support it through the democratic process, provided there is expert consensus. Perhaps updates to health codes or tenancy laws to move them closer to what's already required for hotels?
In anticipation of automod removing this due to keyword similarity, this question is not a duplicate of

1. This one, which pertains to disposal of cigarette butts only.
2. This one, whose replies emphasized smell and not health problems
3. These ones (1, 2, 3), all of which could be mitigated by closing windows.

Edit: Resolution

Thanks all; Indeed there are many simple steps I should have taken to fix this, and it does testify to my sketchy mental health that I reached to venting in learned helplessness on the Internet rather than brainstorming.
Summary of great ideas:

• Fit draught excluders/weather seals to the door and letterbox
• Hang a heavy curtain over the door.
• Address my own mental and physical health (see GP) and see if I still feel its an issue
• Dehumidifier by the offending door, with an ioniser
• Counter the convection: open the windows and run a fan drawing air from outside.
• Query the terms of the leasehold, this may or may not be permitted.
• Read up on code surrounding fire doors.

Further ideas: - Removable tape over keyhole, if I can't change the door and its locks - Tape shut the letterbox and place a new box outside with a note for the postal carrier

I’ve had my KJ Classic I for 10 years and have done many successful cooks with it, including brisket, pork butt, pizza, etc. But I’m always looking to improve my game. In the last few years I’ve added a charcoal basket and a slo roller, and replaced an old CyberQ controller with a FireBoard (still using the Pit Viper fan.) What’s on my mind now is optimizing my techniques for building a fire with lump charcoal and using wood to add smoke.
Building the Fire
For years I would start with a rough square of large lumps of charcoal on the grate and build a “volcano” on top and around them, leaving the a hole in the center. This allowed me to aim the nozzle of my butane fire starter at the lumps on the bottom so that the fire would burn from the bottom up. There were two minor problems with this technique: 1) as I added charcoal around the base of the volcano, it was hard to keep the vent holes in the firebox clear, and 2) for really long cooks, piling on a lot of charcoal could make the center of the volcano fall in on itself. Nevertheless, this technique worked pretty well.
The basket solved the vent hole problems and made building the fire really easy. It works quite well to dump a bunch of lump into it and light it from the top. That said, my first basket was the Smokeware basket that’s made of sheet steel with holes punched into it. I haven’t been happy with airflow, and quite a bit of ash builds up in the bottom, I think because there aren’t enough holes to let it drop down to the ash tray. I’ve since replaced it with a Kick Ash basket. Haven‘t used it yet. The instructions say you can light the coals from the top, but also recommend an alternate method of putting some coals in the bottom with a couple of fire starters, and once the starters get going adding more charcoal. The fire burns from the bottom up, which they say keeps the ash from dropping down through the bed of coals. I like this idea, but would prefer to use my butane fire starter to light the coals in the bottom before adding more charcoal. Is there a reason why Kick Ash recommends fire starters? Any reason I can’t use the torch?
Adding Wood
Over the years, I’ve experimented with adding wood chunks while building the volcano, so they’d be roughly in the middle, or piling chunks on top of the volcano, or both. The concern I’ve had is that much of the smoke from the wood is released while the KJ is heating up and stabilizing (I like to give it at least an hour to get to temp and settle down.) I understand that the meat absorbs the most smoke early in the cook, so I don’t want to burn up the wood too early. I’d love to be able to add wood an hour or so after the meat has been on the KJ, but that’s hard to do. I have to remove meat from one of the half-grills, lift out the half-grill, pull out the drip pan, take off the slo-roller deflection plate, put chunks of wood on the fire, then put it all back together. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had tears flooding out of my eyes from the smoke when I do this! The difficulty of adding charcoal or wood to the KJ is the only downside to what I think is a fantastic smoker.
I saw that Smoking Dad BBQ adds wood a couple of ways: 1) when using a basket, he arranges the leftover charcoal and puts a small split or a couple of chunks in the middle, then covers all that with fresh charcoal, lighting from the top, or 2) he puts a small split in the ash tray behind the bottom vent door. I tried the first method recently but when the fire got down to the wood the pit temp rose 25-50 degrees for more than an hour. And by that time it might have been too late to add smoke to the meat. If I light from the bottom, the wood will catch right away, but too much of it might burn off before the KJ gets up to temp and stabilizes. I haven’t tried the second method. I‘m a little concerned that wood in the ash tray will block air flow. Also, it seems to me that unless I build the fire from the bottom, it’ll take a long time to get to the wood in the tray, perhaps too late to add smoke to the meat (and possibly spiking the temp as described above.) But if I build the fire from the bottom, the wood may catch too soon and may be gone by the time I get the meat on.
Maybe these questions are more important: Is the thick white smoke given off when the wood catches fire what we want, or is that smoke too dirty? Or, do we want to burn the wood for a while until it becomes more charcoal-like and puts off cleaner smoke? If the latter is true, then maybe it’s best to burn the wood right away, while the KJ is heating up and stabilizing, so that it’ll put off clean smoke when the meat goes on and the pit temp won’t spike later on.
One more question: I’ve been looking at a source of wood that sells 3”x3” chunks and 3”x6” splits. I’ve always used chunks. Would larger pieces like the 3”x6” splits produce smoke longer?
I realize many will think I’m hopelessly OCD about this, but that’s me in practically all things — especially brisket! I’d appreciate any advice from those of you who have successfully dealt with these issues.