Im a 22NB who dates my 22M boyfriend Wes for a year and a lot of stuff has happened between now and then. I don’t think I can give a play by play as it might make me sick but I’ll try to dwindle down the important bits: we met each other in a discord server for a niche media. We starting dating very soon into our friendship (bad idea). Things went well and I felt so loved and divine but things changed when we went back to aforementioned server. I’ve made a list of things that Wes has done (this is to cut for time, but I also need advice as to what anyone else would’ve done) 1. One of the first things they said to me was “I can’t be your confidant, you need to find your own friends to be your support group” 2. Whenever Wes was upset, he’d isolate and withdrawal, I’d take notice and tries to help, I only succeeded once and things went back to normal, but the pattern continued and he overall stopped being as loving to me verbally 3. After awhile, I noticed that I was the one taking lead (making plans to meetup, starting conversations, planning dates) so I backed off to let Wes take the lead but he never did. We would actually go almost an entire day before Wes would message me. 4. When I started making my own friends, he insisted on being their friend to…. But he told me to make my own friends. Hm. He’d also claim some of my older friends as his. 5. Whenever an artist we both follow would follow me back (making us mutuals), he’d say something very vaguely along the lines of “Oh… I was following them for SO LONG but that’s cool that they’re your mutual now” 6. We never had serious conversation because whenever I would ask the “important but uncomfortable questions” he’d choke up and disengage entirely 7. Whenever I brought up the fact that he did something that hurt me, his default response was “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Followed by repeating the behavior 8. Because I have crippling anxiety, I would get worried whenever he didn’t respond to my DMs, so I would go looking for him, just to find him in a call having fun with our friends. 9. Once my mental health got so bad that I was begging for someone to talk to me, in which Wes replied “We can’t help you, you need therapy” (he was aware that I had trauma with being gaslit in the past where my abusers would say the exact same thing) 10. I suggested we take a break because my mental health was declining, we made rules to abide by, and he promptly broke one 11. His affection for me verbally went down a lot, diaspore him being an “overly affectionate person with love to spare”, he was verbally lovey with friends. But not me. So when we took a break I thought it would be different because I was a friend again and not a partner but it didn’t change. 12. He started being more affectionate to someone I became close to and ignored me during the same call. I snapped because I was at my wits end and ended up hurting the friend. I felt terrible for it. 13. He got really sick and because I physically lacked sympathy, I expressed my sorry and let him sleep (he said he was going to sleep in the call so I left him to it), later on he started berating me with insults and when he finally cooled off a bit he told me that he was upset because I didn’t show him worry while he was sick, he told me that “I was so scared I was going to die that I told myself that I needed to tell you that I loved you every night” (he didn’t say anything to me during his cold at all.) But because I was incapable of sympathy I could only offer logical solutions and rest. His previous actions also conditioned me into never asking him if he was okay because it was clear that he didn’t care if I asked for not so I stopped asking. This breakup was so messy because my feelings and my needs kept getting ignored, my love language is quality time but he never “quality timed with me” 14. When I noticed that I wasn’t being treated like a partner, I asked him to please make time for me and to call me first sometimes, whenever he called he would be scrolling on his phone for the entire time and only spoke when it was to announce he was leaving to hang out with our mutual friends. Planning dates was abysmal. 15. After we broke up he told me that one of the things that he hated is that “I only accept love when it’s on my terms”, we have very different love languages, mine is quality time and his is physical touch. I am touch adverse. I forced myself to accept his touch because I knew that it was the only was I knew for a fact that he loved me. He never let me have quality time. We only did physical touch. Ouch. There’s…. Too many more and I don’t want to type all of them because I’m loosing sleep but please help me understand why it’s me who has to pick up all the pieces that he scattered?

Record temperatures, record migration, record emissions, record displacement, record PFAS……start building an ark.
Last Week in Collapse: May 12-18, 2024
This is Last Week in Collapse, a weekly newsletter compiling some of the most important, timely, useful, soul-crushing, ironic, stunning, exhausting, or otherwise must-see/can’t-look-away moments in Collapse.
This is the 125th newsletter! You can find the May 5-11 edition here if you missed it last week. You can also receive these posts (with images) every Sunday in your email inbox with Substack.
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Flash flooding in northern Afghanistan killed 300+ people and destroyed 1,000+ homes. Hundreds of thousands of others have been affected. Last month, similar floods in the region killed 70+. Four died in Texas storms last week as well.
Venezuela is suffering from record wildfires, which so far this year have burned about 5M acres—almost the size of Sardinia. Some experts think indigenous people started the blaze as an attempt at forest clearance, which quickly got out of hand. “Institutional failures” compounded the disaster when the ailing government responded with an inadequate number of poorly equipped firefighters. Another study from last week examined the impact of wildfires on soil health.
Flooding and “cold lava” killed 50+ in Indonesia, injuring dozens and displacing several thousand. Cold lava is a mixture of water and rocks tumbling down the side of a volcano. Meanwhile, an actual volcano erupted in Indonesia, sending smoke & ash 5000m high; further eruptions are possible soon.
The Swiss Re Institute published a 37-page report last week about natural disasters in 2023—and how much damage, in USD, they caused. The largest catastrophe was the February 7.8 earthquake in Türkiye & Syria, which killed 59,000+ people and caused $163B+ in damage. The report is full of interesting graphics & data about natural disasters.

“Last year, economic losses from natural catastrophes reached USD 280 billion, meaning that 62% of the global losses were uninsured….the insured losses surpassed USD 100 billion for the fourth consecutive year….annual insured losses will grow by 5–7% over the long term…today’s insured losses could double in 10 years….There were 142 insured-loss inducing catastrophes in 2023, a new record. Most were of medium severity, which we define as events resulting in losses of USD 1–5 billion….Over the last 30 years, we estimate that natural catastrophe insured losses have grown by 3 percentage points more annually than the global economy (in inflation adjusted terms)...”

Flooding and heat waves are impacting Brazil’s oranges, responsible for about 70% of the world’s supply. One food analysts declared that the “era of cheap food is over”—in the UK, at least. That may be one reason why UK residents took record food bank packages last year. Madagascar is struggling to adapt to a future with far less rainfall.
France is growing more concerned about a dam on Lake Geneva, controlled exclusively by Switzerland. The Rhône River, which begins in Switzerland and flows south through France, is shrinking in summers as climate change melts Switzerland’s remaining glaciers.
The Tonlé San River has been dammed in Vietnam, lowering the level in Cambodia and sometimes drying the river downstream entirely. Meanwhile, China’s lychee harvest is getting blasted by rain, impacting the world’s largest source of lychee. And, once again, Saudi Arabia is suffering flooding in its inland regions. 7 dead in historic flooding in Iran.
The eminent climate scientist James Hansen posted that, since “human-made aerosols and their cooling effect are in decline,” the cooling effect of La Niña will be counterbalanced by these rising temperatures. He also identifies a “large anomaly of increased absorbed solar radiation at midlatitudes in the Northern Hemisphere” responsible for rising temperatures there. CO2 levels are rising faster today than they have at any point in the previous 50,000 years…and a study of millennia-old trees determined last summer was the hottest worldwide in 2,000+ years…
Record nighttime May temperatures were tied in the Philippines and Vietnam. A couple Indonesian cities broke records for May temperatures. And a number of southern African states saw more records drop. And Toronto saw a record tied for the number of days reaching 14 °C (57 °F). A heat wave has returned to Bangladesh. Flooding in Cali (pop: 2.9M), Colombia.
The University of Washington was ordered to stop a geoengineering project that scientists sere conducting from the deck of a decommissioned aircraft carrier. The experiment ejected aerosolized saltwater in an attempt to reflect solar radiation. A comparative study in Nature Communications of a number of carbon pricing found that, yes, carbon pricing does work to reduce the total CO2 emitted.
It’s that time of the year again. Wildfires in Canada grow, some of which are moving towards the tar sands—forcing thousands to evacuate. 39 of the total nation’s blazes are “out of control,” resulting in air quality alerts in the United States. Meanwhile, across the Caribbean, water shortages have become the new normal, and residents (and tourists) are finding their old consumption habits hard to change. St. Lucia has declared a water emergency. In Myanmar, water shortages worsen, particularly as related to the spiraling conflict.
At least ⅛ of Europeans live in a place at risk of extreme flooding—so says a 175-page report from the European Environment Agency posted on Wednesday. The number of people living in flood-risk coastal areas in the EU & UK is expected to jump 24% by 2050. The graphics-packed report also considers how flooding will impact healthcare facilities, mental health, wastewater treatment plants, the spread of disease, cyanobacteria, permafrost thaw, and much else.

“Europe has seen devastating floods following record rainfall, droughts of magnitudes not experienced in hundreds of years, continuing sea level rise, and increasing lake and sea temperatures….permanent water stress already affects 30% of people in southern Europe….since 2018, more than half of Europe has been impacted by extreme drought conditions….Climate change is expected to increase mercury bioaccumulation in the marine food chain due to rising ocean temperatures, ocean acidification and permafrost thawing….Depression, anxiety and PTSD may persist for years after a flooding event….Under the changing climate, northern Europe is becoming wetter in general, but drier in summer. Southern Europe is becoming drier, especially in winter. For central-eastern and western Europe, the trend is less clear…” -selections from the report

Milan suffered flooding last week, the worst May flooding in 170 years. Early spring in the UK has disrupted migratory bird species and their usual patterns.
A 74-page working paper which is not yet peer-reviewed claims that earlier estimates for how much GDP would be impacted by another 1 °C temperature rise is way less than it would be in actuality. The paper claims the real cost (in USD) is about 6x greater. They claim “global temperature has much more pronounced impacts on economic activity than local temperature” and that extreme weather is mostly behind the projected decline in productivity.
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Epidemiologists are worried about how climate change in Africa may extend the life of disease-bearers like ticks and mosquitoes. Other epidemiologists are worried about how cattle may become a permanent reservoir for H5N1. Growing traced of bird flu have been found in wastewater testing in the U.S., but investigators think it may be runoff from infected dairy farms.
Obesity, high blood sugar, and high blood pressure rates today globally are 50% higher than in 2000—though researchers claim that air pollution still poses a larger threat. Of a study participants in Hawai’i, 75% had respiratory issues, probably from the Maui wildfires last year.
The 2024 World Migration Report is out, and its 384 pages are not as apocalyptic as one might think. However, internally displaced people are at their all-time highest. India, Mexico, Russia, China, and Syria lead the world in emigrants; another document contains the definitions for who exactly constitutes a migrant. Unfortunately much of the data relied upon ends in 2022. Data from this year, not included in the above report, indicates a 40% jump in traffic through the Darien Gap compared to the same time period in 2023.

“The last two years saw major migration and displacement events that have caused great hardship and trauma, as well as loss of life….There have also been large-scale displacements triggered by climate- and weather-related disasters in many parts of the world in 2022 and 2023, including in Pakistan, the Philippines, China, India, Bangladesh, Brazil and Colombia….disinformation tactics are increasingly being used by nefarious actors with negative impacts on public, political and social media discourse on migration….Forced displacement is the highest on record in the modern era…overconsumption and overproduction linked to unsustainable economic growth, resource depletion and biodiversity collapse, as well as ongoing climate change (including global heating) are continuing to grip the world….the risk of further conflict has not been higher in decades, as military spending reached a new record high of USD 2,240 billion in 2022…” -excerpts from the introduction

Another report, focusing on internal displacement, came out last week; its 69 pages show a cross-section of about 47M people displaced by natural disasters (56%) or armed conflict (44%). Most of the disasters were storms & flooding, and most of the conflicts were civil wars of some form. This report also provides detailed region-by-region analyses—with sub-Saharan Africa accounting for 46% of global IDPs.

“Conflict and violence triggered 13.5 million movements, the highest figure for the past 15 years….Disasters and conflict are presented as different triggers, but their impacts can overlap, often leading to repeated and/ or protracted displacement….Drought triggered 331,000 displacements in Somalia….Floods triggered 550,000 displacements in Ethiopia….Conflict and violence triggered 3.8 million displacements in DRC in 2023, a slight fall from the record four million in 2022, but still the second-highest figure globally after Sudan….nearly two-thirds of the internal displacements recorded in 2023 originated from Khartoum state. More than 39 per cent of the state's inhabitants were forced to flee, leaving entire neighbourhoods empty….Criminal and communal violence triggered nearly three-quarters of Nigeria's 291,000 conflict displacements….” -selections from the spotlight on sub-Saharan Africa

Experts are concerned about the mental health impacts that climate change has on our minds. Hotter temperatures reportedly increase depression & aggression. Wildfires and storms can cause PTSD. Workers feel stress and desperation as their usual industries are impacted. And air pollution influences ordinary brain processes in many ways.
Some analysts believe “Peak China” may be over, signaling a period of economic tapering-off, as well as a growing militancy. Increasing U.S. tariffs on Chinese goods are continuing to separate the two economies. The Netherlands finally formed a provisional government, though its proposed immigration & farming policies have set it at odds with the EU.
The Federal Reserve, the U.S. central bank, released a 46-page report on potential climate risks to the banking system’s resilience. As far as I understood, most of the risk lies in extreme weather events and the risk to insurance agencies.
Part of southeast England experienced an outbreak of Cryptosporidium, a diarrhea & vomiting illness, highly contagious, which can last weeks. At least 22 cases have been reported. Meanwhile, the CDC is issuing warnings about the more dangerous strain of monkeypox circulating in the DRC, although cases are currently limited to Africa.
North Carolina’s Senate voted to ban mask-wearing last week, under the reasoning that it would make police identification of protestors difficult. An fMRI study found lasting neurological changes in COVID survivors; they “had significantly higher cognitive complaints of mental fatigue and cognitive failure….even two years after recovering.” Experts say a summer rise in COVID cases is coming to the United States.
A study on The Canadian/American Great Lakes found that PFAS levels are increasing in the 3 largest lakes (Superior, Huron, and Michigan), while decreasing in the other two (Erie, Ontario). The study also found that precipitation is the primary means by which the Lakes are accumulating PFAS, since the chemicals are small & stable enough to move through the water cycle. Meanwhile, in England’s Lake District, a telecom failure resulted in raw sewage being pumped into England’s largest and most famous lake, Windermere, on-and-off for 10 hours; and a major British water CEO took a $4M USD pay package last year. And a look into the Chicago River’s health found that microplastics & trash are endangering health & biodiversity.
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An assassination attempt by a lone wolf on Slovakia’s PM left him in critical condition, but likely to survive. 11 civilians were slain by cartel fighters in a few battles in Mexico. Violence continues to spiral out of control in Goma, DRC.
In Haiti, everything worsens indefinitely. Guns have reportedly entered from Florida, a phenomenon which officials call an “iron river.” Police have been put on the defensive against the growing might of the gang warlords.
A brawl broke out in Taiwan’s parliament. An Iranian plot was allegedly foiled to smuggle weapons into Jordan to destabilize the pro-U.S. regime.
Dozens more died in Sudan from escalating violence around Darfur. People are warning about “a disaster on top of a disaster” and the possibility of Sudan splitting apart. Others have called it “hell on earth” as 1,000+ refugees cross the Chad border every day. Disease and malnutrition are growing, while famine encroaches upon 9M helpless victims of the conflict—but the world’s attention is elsewhere.
The U.S. Army Engineers completed constructing the pier in Gaza to deliver humanitarian aid. Some 600,000 Gazans have been displaced from Rafah already, and fighting has escalated against Hamas militants in northern Gaza.
Taliban forces skirmished with Pakistani soldiers for about 90 minutes last week. Taliban attacks in Pakistan, and counterattacks have resulted in a kind of ambient disruption for the rocky border zone.
Violent protests—and counteroperations—are continuing in New Caledonia (pop: 270,000), a Pacific island part of overseas France. The riots, which have killed 6 people so far, began after metropolitan France proposed a plan to expand voting rights beyond indigenous residents. A state of emergency has been declared amid worries about a spiral of violence taking hold.
As the Sahel dries out, experts are concerned about the links to rising terrorism in the region. The Sahel accounts for over 40% of global terrorism deaths—according to the analysts’ understanding of “terrorism.” Mali in particular has reportedly become home to 41 new, different non-state armed groups (NSAGs) since 2007. A contested election in Chad resulted in the consolidation of the interim leader’s power.

“If governments are continually unable to solve regional issues, the people will be at the whim of any terror group that has a basic organization. It serves these groups’ interests to promote insecurity where they can and create security where they want. A “hearts and minds” campaign in the Sahel could lead to long-term and locally supported insurgencies in a land that is currently rife with civil strife.” -from the article

Some wargamers concluded that a Trump victory in 2020 would spell the end of NATO, or at least the end of its utility. Vladimir Putin replaced his minister of defense with a top economic advisor, just before going to Beijing to reaffirm their friendship with “no limits.” Some say Putin is planning on a forever war. Some say NATO is gearing up for one, too.
Russia made several gains in the suburbs of Kharkiv, seizing several settlements which some analysts doubt they will hold. Putin claims they aren’t really trying to take Kharkiv anyway… Russia also made small progress in the Donbas—although they suffered their largest one-day casualties since the start of the war. The U.S. allocated another $2B to hasten the delivery of weapons to the front lines. The next weeks will be crucial on the front. Switzerland has invited 160+ nations to send delegates to a peace summit intended to design a path to making peace in this War.
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Select comments/threads from the subreddit last week suggest:
-Brazil’s flooding was really, really bad, judging from this post and its accompanying images. Across just one of Brazil’s 26 states, 600,000+ people have been made homeless, 100+ have died, and the storm season isn’t over yet. Some of the flooding isn’t expected to subside for another month.
-How specifically might climate change make humanity extinct? This thread crowdsources a number of plausible ways, from ordinary famines to nuclear war and even a massive deoxygenation process. I tend to think it will be a consequence of an eventual nuclear exchange, followed by extended famine and disease.
Got any feedback, questions, comments, complaints, upvotes, doom prophets to follow, hugelkultur guides, directions to off-grid bunkers, ark schematics, etc.? Check out the Last Week in Collapse SubStack if you don’t want to check collapse every Sunday, you can receive this newsletter sent to your (or someone else’s) email inbox every weekend. What did I forget this week?

We must have all heard the terms exmormon vs postmormon. As I understand it, postmormon describes moving away from morminism in full: leaving it's chackles behind you and becomeing the person you were always meant to be. This ofcourse implies a state of serene perfection, you have healed until there is no more healing to be done, but one can always hope.
A mormon life always begins somwhere. Mine began in a small rural town with a mormon-sized family and the only quirky members in a radius of 12 miles (20km). Non-mormon influences were unwelocme at home, so friendships were very difficult and not encouraged. The only real fellowship was during the odd church funtion and being far away it included alot of work.
I grew up and like in every mormon's life there comes the question of marriage. Afterwards I continues the same pattern I grew up with. I moved cities and and in a marriage of 10 years, I continued the same pattern I learned and made no friends. I only really knew my wife and her family.
My marriage ended, in many ways my wife gave me license to lead the life I always wanted. There was half-hearted attendence during covid, but your spirit always wins. Few months later I asked my name to be revoked, I moved cities, new job: I started a new life.
Living life, I eventually found a girldfriend and we started hitting it off. As things were going, I was about to repeat my old pattern, make no friends and only really socialize with her and her family, until everything changed. I decided to come out as bisexual. We opened our relatioship for some exploration and I eventually got a friend with benifits. As time grew, there was alot more friendship than benifits and I started meeting his friends. Now I consider him my best friend, and we hang on the regular just talking, usually over a bottle of wine.
I have been working on fostering my sociallife. I have invited people I life to join me in just talking and meeting. I want friendship. But I feel like this is coing into conflict with my relationship with my girlfriend. She wanted to move fast, but I always held back, and after two years we are talking about moving in together. On the one had I have her, a life of my usual pattern, and on the other I have freedom and striving onwards.
I really don't know what to do, leaving mormonism, life is spunn into a life of trauma and change and I am lost. How have you dealt with the relationships and crises as you left mormonism in full?

I have a question please How can I perforate in French style, but the pattern I have is perforated with diamond Is there a solution? Thank you

please message me with more than "hi, how are you?" + do not chat message me, send me a DM! it's so much easier for me since i use the app on my phone.
just your local girlfriend stealing, alternative, bisexual here. 👋 but you know what? let's set that aside for now (your girlfriend is safe for the moment) because i'm looking for friends that are as good to me as i am to others, which is a*pparently *harder than it should be. i am a genuinely kind, loving person even if my face says otherwise. oops. i have a severe case of resting sad face, so sorry.
i'm smitten with people who are weird but not weird enough to make others uncomfy, or unable to enjoy the weirdness, ya know? i know you know. i like people who are into things that others mostly aren't: tarot, astrology, deep conversations, things like that. i might not actively be participating in said things but i like hearing the perspective of people who are! my friends always joke that i'm the person people say "i can fix her!" about but uh, i'm awesome. i don't need fixed. ✨i will admit though, i hesitate about people a lot because while i do want a best friend -- mine have scorned me, so i need someone patient with me and understanding of that, please. please. i adore social connections but i do come with a social battery and it needs refilled. me needing that time does not negate the connection i have built with you and am nurturing with you.
i will genuinely offer you diamonds in the form of friendship, just reciprocate it. i will offer you the safest, most non-judgement free zone you can imagine, you are always - always, safe with me. i just ask that you are a good, kind, compassionate friend to me. you can literally tell me anything in the world and if it isn't hurting anyone else, i will listen without judgment. i promise you. i'll also send you spotify songs that i really like, so hi. hello.
on to the fun tingz (and the stuff that will hopefully bring you in),
i'm watching my first ever anime, like ever and no we're not going to talk about my real first ever anime because it might've been a live action and it might've been death note and maybe i enjoyed it (holy crap, sueeeee me) but i have a few on my list to watch but i got pressured into this one, so far so good! let's talk about it, ask me which one it is! it's a pretty popular one lol. maybe you can guess it! either way, i'm also into horror shows/movies. i'm not really into the gory ones anymore, nor the emotional horror so i'll pass. my heart strings are saying noOoO thanks. i love watching movies with friends and even anthology shows like cabinet of curiosities, dark mirror, etc etc. i don't mind anything else! hit me up. i'll tell you some stuff i like(d)
currently, iiiiii am a graphic design major with a knack for not drawing. i mean, i guess i do like pixel art but honestly, i am still learning and trying new things everyday 💤 however, i'm in the process of changing majors to cybersecurity! which starts in June, so wish ya girl luck 💅
i am a gamer, so come game with me! i don't play league, my mental health is terrible enough, thank you. i also don't play wow, my attention span could never. i do, however, play valorant because i don't like myself that much. i got you there, didn't i? i play a few other things: CS, starting to get into overwatch 2 (please play this with me and if you ask me my rank, i'll cry), party animals, pummel party (can we please?) etc. i tend to hang out in valorant land though, i won't lie. i do not take it seriously and honestly, nor should you.. nerd.
i am ✨sPiCy✨so if that bothers you, i am sorry. i, again, am a genuinely kind person but i do have a snarkiness to me that is meant to be a slight "i love you" + dash of bully. ❤

It if my belief that the hardest liberal ideal to uphold is not property rights or free-markets but pluralism. This is because the instinct to demonize and distance oneself from one's enemies is overwhelmingly strong, driven by pride, fear, anger, and disgust. But we should stand against these impulses, for the very core of democracy relies on people and groups of different to engage and hash out a plan for the future. With that in mind, I would like to make a case that one of the most powerful and useful things a principles neoliberal can do is bridge build.

What is Bridge Building?

Bridge-building is not rigorously defined because it's pretty new, but it comes from very old human instincts: curiosity and a desire for authentic connection.
Curiosity is not just a desire for knowledge, but a desire to expand one's view of the world and a practice of being an ever-enthusiastic learner. Curiosity does not have to be about facts but also about new experiences and ways of thinking. To be curious about a person is not necessarily wanting to know their social security number, but how they came to where they are in life and how they see the world. Curiosity is not just touching grass, but appreciating the park's beauty. If I were not curious, I would likely have noped out of this subreddit based on the name alone. But because I was, I read the sidebar.
It is my belief that people have an innate desire to be heard, to be seen and respected. And although it is diminished as of late, people also have the capacity to truly connect to others on a deeper-than-superficial level. This is hard online, but much easier in the real world. This desire and capacity for connection can help people overcome great differences and sprout the seeds of a great friendship.
Based on these two principles, Bridge-Building is a movement to ease polarization by connecting people of different backgrounds and groups together to foster greater understanding. The goal is not to reduce disagreement, but to make it more productive.

Why should Neoliberals Aim to Bridge Build?

Yeah, why should we? If we know best, why should we listen to those chumps? After all, I already have a name for everyone to right and left of me: wrong.
For one, do we really know best about everything? In the Socratic Dialogue Meno, Socrates and the politician Meno discuss the nature of virtue. During a debate on whether virtue can be taught, Meno asks Socrates this:

And how will you enquire, Socrates, into that which you do not know? What will you put forth as the subject of enquiry? And if you find what you want, how will you ever know that this is the thing which you did not know?

Here in lies Meno's Paradox: how do you know if you need to learn? If you already have that knowledge, you do not need to look any longer. And if you don't, then you have no idea what you're searching for. Socrates uses the idea of inbuilt knowledge as his answer, but I have another one which may strike more directly to the interests of liberals: simply assume that your knowledge is incomplete, and seek a more complete picture. Given all the knowledge in the world out there and all the things have yet to be discovered, it is unlikely that you or any other person has the complete picture on even a single issue.
But even if we do not know everything, if there value in learning from those of different views of us? I say that there is, and I will use another famous parable, this time from Buddhism, to illustrate my point. In this story, a kind invites a group of blind men to experience something that they have never encountered before: an elephant. When each blind man has felt a part of the creature, the king asks them to describe what they are touching. The man touching the foot says that the thing is a pillar, the man touching the trunk says it is a plow, the man touching the tip of the tail says a brush, and so on. The blind men cannot agree on what they are all touching, and so start an ancient version of a flamewar which entertains the king. In this story, the elephant is "The Truth", if such a thing exists. Although we all come in contact with the truth and with reality, we each come at it at different angles, like how the blind men are touching different parts. This means that while our individual perspectives are incomplete, they can be put together as a much more complete picture. People who remember the "wisdom" of the crowds should also recognize the powerful insights that can come from non-experts, especially as a group. Neoliberals who aspire to be "evidence-based" should not just gather evidence from different sources, but learn about different ways of thinking from others, or else they would be like one blind man squeezing the elephant's gonads really hard and thinking he's touching a balloon.
Edit: Just realized another reason Another reason for bridge building has to do with pragmatism. Pragmatism is not simply being "less extreme", but meeting people where they are. But how can you do that if you don't know where they are? Polls can help, but some personal connection may help as well, given how unreliable polls can be.
Hoewver, there are a lot of people who will reply to this very post and say, "isn't it dangerous to engage with certain people? What about those who are too stupid and hateful to learn?". Firstly, you should never bridge build if you feel unsafe. However, feeling unsafe is not the same as feeling uncomfortable, and discomfort may help you shake out of old patterns. Secondly, the foremost goal of substantive discussion is not to teach but to learn: even if the other party is too stupid to learn, if you are able to listen and learn you will have gained from the conversation. This may not always work out, but I promise you that when it does the effect is magical.

How do you Bridge Build?

This is the hard part. I haven't fully figured it out myself, but I have some pointers:

1. Be patient. People, especially people on the internet, are no the most eloquent speakers. Struggling to find the right words or having incorrect grammar and spelling should not be taken as signs of being dumb babies not worth talking to. Additionally, try not assume all of what people are based on snippets of information.
2. Be polite. Avoiding infamatory remarks ("You can't even read a supply and demand graph") and ambiguous slogans ("From the river to the sea, drugs will be free!") and try to keep the focus on the issues instead of the other person (or what you assume of the other person).

3.Stand up for your beliefs. Common ground is only real if it is earned. Be upfront about what you believe and how you came to believe those things. Anything else would be a disservice to the other party.

1. Follow your curiosity. Try to ask questions in good faith instead of as traps (although I admit I do this a lot). Who knows where the inquiry will go?

But if that's too hard or ambiguous, there's a lot of help out there. Here are some organizations and projects that specialize in bridge-building:
Braver Angels: They host workshops, debates, and other events for bridging divides. I also like their A Braver Way Podcast. They also happen to be associated with one American Purpose Magazine.
One Small Step by StoryCorps: If you sign up, they may match you with someone they think you will have a fruitful conversation with.
National Institue for Civil Discourse: Come on, one of the founding Co-Chairs was Bill Clinton, and a former board member was H.W. Bush.
There are many more, so feel free to search for yourself. So, why not try building some bridges? They're an important piece of infrastructure.

I made this code with the help of AI, I read rule 10 but trust me this kept me up at night (bad at coding). Can somebody please explain why it only works properly in Codepen, but not when I place it in a website host? I saved it as styles.css, index.html, script.js., then to a folder, then zipped it.
When I put it in Codepen, the questions drop down when I choose the gender, this doesn't work in the website host. Any help/tip is appreciated. Thanks!

CSS: body { font-family: Arial, sans-serif; background-color: #7074A0; margin: 0; padding: 0; } .container { max-width: 800px; margin: 2rem auto; background: #D5D5D5; padding: 2rem; box-shadow: 0 0 10px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); border-radius: 10px; } h1 { text-align: center; color: #333; } .form-group { margin-bottom: 1.5rem; } label { font-weight: bold; } select, input[type="checkbox"], button { width: 100%; padding: 0.5rem; margin-top: 0.5rem; border: 1px solid #ccc; border-radius: 5px; box-sizing: border-box; } button { background-color: #2C3055; color: white; font-weight: bold; cursor: pointer; transition: background-color 0.3s; } button:hover { background-color: #008080; } #recommendationResult { margin-top: 1.5rem; font-weight: bold; } HTML:          
 
The Fashion Anatomist
 
 
 Gender:  Select Gender Male Female  
 
 Body Type:  Select Body Type  
 
 Hide Recommendations:  
 
 Get Recommendations 
 
 
    JS: const bodyTypes = { male: ["Rectangle", "Triangle", "Upside Down Triangle", "Trapezoid", "Oval"], female: ["Rectangle", "Apple", "Pear", "Hourglass", "Upside Down Triangle"] }; const questions = { male: [ { question: "What is your go-to outfit for a casual day out?", options: ["Jeans and a T-shirt", "Casual shirt and pants", "Athleisure wear", "Vintage finds", "Tailored clothes", "Simple and clean", "Bohemian styles", "Chic and trendy", "Unique and artsy"] }, { question: "Which colors do you prefer to wear?", options: ["Bright and bold", "Neutral tones", "Pastels", "Earthy colors", "Classic black and white", "Monochrome", "Mixed prints", "Sleek and modern", "Vibrant and contrasting"] }, { question: "What kind of shoes do you usually wear?", options: ["Sneakers", "Casual shoes", "Formal shoes", "Boots", "Loafers", "Minimalist shoes", "Ethnic sandals", "Designer shoes", "Artsy shoes"] }, { question: "Which accessory do you never leave the house without?", options: ["Cap", "Scarf", "Statement watch", "Tie", "Belt", "Simple necklace", "Layered bracelets", "Stylish bag", "Artsy accessory"] } ], female: [ { question: "What is your go-to outfit for a casual day out?", options: ["Jeans and a T-shirt", "A dress", "Athleisure wear", "Vintage finds", "Tailored clothes", "Simple and clean", "Bohemian styles", "Chic and trendy", "Unique and artsy"] }, { question: "Which colors do you prefer to wear?", options: ["Bright and bold", "Neutral tones", "Pastels", "Earthy colors", "Classic black and white", "Monochrome", "Mixed prints", "Sleek and modern", "Vibrant and contrasting"] }, { question: "What kind of shoes do you usually wear?", options: ["Sneakers", "Flats", "Heels", "Boots", "Loafers", "Minimalist sandals", "Ethnic sandals", "Designer shoes", "Artsy shoes"] }, { question: "Which accessory do you never leave the house without?", options: ["Cap", "Scarf", "Statement jewelry", "Watch", "Belt", "Simple necklace", "Layered necklaces", "Stylish handbag", "Artsy bag"] } ] }; const styleMap = { "Jeans and a T-shirt": "casual", "Casual shirt and pants": "casual", "A dress": "chic", "Athleisure wear": "casual", "Vintage finds": "vintage", "Tailored clothes": "formal", "Simple and clean": "minimalist", "Bohemian styles": "bohemian", "Chic and trendy": "chic", "Unique and artsy": "artsy", "Bright and bold": "streetwear", "Neutral tones": "casual", "Pastels": "preppy", "Earthy colors": "bohemian", "Classic black and white": "formal", "Monochrome": "minimalist", "Mixed prints": "vintage", "Sleek and modern": "chic", "Vibrant and contrasting": "artsy", "Sneakers": "streetwear", "Casual shoes": "casual", "Formal shoes": "formal", "Boots": "bohemian", "Loafers": "formal", "Minimalist shoes": "minimalist", "Ethnic sandals": "bohemian", "Designer shoes": "chic", "Artsy shoes": "artsy", "Cap": "streetwear", "Scarf": "vintage", "Statement watch": "formal", "Tie": "formal", "Belt": "preppy", "Simple necklace": "minimalist", "Layered bracelets": "bohemian", "Stylish bag": "chic", "Artsy accessory": "artsy", "Statement jewelry": "chic", "Watch": "formal", "Layered necklaces": "bohemian", "Stylish handbag": "chic", "Artsy bag": "artsy" }; const recommendations = { male: { Rectangle: { casual: "Opt for well-fitted t-shirts and straight-cut jeans.", chic: "Tailored pieces with sharp lines and neutral colors.", minimalist: "Stick to monochromatic outfits with clean lines.", vintage: "Go for retro patterns and fitted blazers.", formal: "Choose structured suits with shoulder padding.", bohemian: "Flowy shirts with earthy tones and relaxed pants.", artsy: "Abstract prints and asymmetrical designs." }, Triangle: { casual: "Wear darker colors on top and lighter on the bottom.", chic: "Structured blazers and vertical stripes to elongate the torso.", minimalist: "Neutral tones with minimal layering.", vintage: "High-waisted pants and vintage tees.", formal: "Suits with padded shoulders and tapered pants.", bohemian: "Loose tops with fitted bottoms.", artsy: "Bold, artistic prints and unique cuts." }, "Upside Down Triangle": { casual: "Fitted shirts and loose trousers for balance.", chic: "Tailored jackets and darker colors on top.", minimalist: "Simple and clean lines with solid colors.", vintage: "Classic patterns like houndstooth or plaid.", formal: "Structured suits with well-defined shoulders.", bohemian: "Loose tops with wide-leg pants.", artsy: "Geometric patterns and unconventional designs." }, Trapezoid: { casual: "Fitted tops and straight-leg jeans.", chic: "Structured blazers and well-fitted trousers.", minimalist: "Clean lines and tailored silhouettes.", vintage: "Retro-inspired pieces with a modern twist.", formal: "Tailored suits with balanced proportions.", bohemian: "Relaxed fits with layered textures.", artsy: "Experimental designs and unique accessories." }, Oval: { casual: "Opt for fitted tops and straight-cut bottoms.", chic: "Structured blazers and tailored trousers.", minimalist: "Simple, streamlined outfits with solid colors.", vintage: "Classic pieces with flattering silhouettes.", formal: "Well-tailored suits with structured jackets.", bohemian: "Flowy tops with relaxed bottoms for balance.", artsy: "Statement pieces and bold accessories." } }, female: { Rectangle: { casual: "Tuck in your shirts and pair with skinny jeans.", chic: "Structured blazers and high-waisted pants.", minimalist: "Simple, straight-cut dresses and tops.", vintage: "High-waisted skirts and fitted blouses.", formal: "Peplum tops and pencil skirts.", bohemian: "Flowy dresses with cinched waists.", artsy: "Bold patterns and unique textures." }, Apple: { casual: "V-neck tops and A-line skirts.", chic: "Structured blouses with wide-leg trousers.", minimalist: "Monochrome outfits with clean lines.", vintage: "Empire-waist dresses and skirts.", formal: "Wrap dresses and tailored blazers.", bohemian: "Loose tops with flared pants.", artsy: "Unique cuts and statement accessories." }, Pear: { casual: "Fitted tops and wide-leg pants.", chic: "Blazers with shoulder pads and A-line skirts.", minimalist: "Simple tops with straight-leg pants.", vintage: "High-waisted pants and tucked-in blouses.", formal: "Structured dresses with defined waists.", bohemian: "Flowy tops with fitted bottoms.", artsy: "Layered textures and asymmetrical designs." }, Hourglass: { casual: "Wrap tops and high-waisted jeans.", chic: "Tailored dresses with cinched waists.", minimalist: "Fitted tops with straight-leg trousers.", vintage: "Retro-inspired dresses with belts.", formal: "Bodycon dresses and pencil skirts.", bohemian: "Cinched waists with flowy skirts.", artsy: "Form-fitting pieces with artistic prints." }, "Upside Down Triangle": { casual: "Fitted shirts and loose skirts.", chic: "Structured jackets with flared pants.", minimalist: "Simple tops with wide-leg trousers.", vintage: "A-line dresses with vintage patterns.", formal: "Blazers with shoulder pads and pencil skirts.", bohemian: "Loose tops with flowy bottoms.", artsy: "Bold prints and unique cuts." } } }; document.getElementById('bodyTypeForm').addEventListener('submit', function (e) { e.preventDefault(); const gender = document.getElementById('gender').value; const bodyType = document.getElementById('bodyType').value; const hideRecommendations = document.getElementById('hideRecommendations').checked; if (!gender) { alert("Please select gender."); return; } if (!hideRecommendations && !bodyType) { alert("Please select body type or choose to hide recommendations."); return; } const questionElements = document.querySelectorAll('.questionContainer'); const answers = []; questionElements.forEach(questionElement => { const answer = questionElement.querySelector('select').value; if (!answer) { alert("Please answer all questions."); return; } answers.push(answer); }); const styleCount = {}; answers.forEach(answer => { const style = styleMap[answer]; if (style) { if (!styleCount[style]) { styleCount[style] = 0; } styleCount[style]++; } }); const preferredStyle = Object.keys(styleCount).reduce((a, b) => styleCount[a] > styleCount[b] ? a : b, null); let recommendation = `Your preferred style is ${preferredStyle}.`; if (!hideRecommendations && bodyType) { const bodyTypeRecommendation = recommendations[gender]?.[bodyType]?.[preferredStyle]; if (bodyTypeRecommendation) { recommendation += ` For your ${bodyType} body type, we recommend: ${bodyTypeRecommendation}.`; } else { recommendation += " Please consult a stylist for personalized recommendations."; } } document.getElementById('recommendationResult').innerText = recommendation; }); document.getElementById('gender').addEventListener('change', function (e) { const gender = e.target.value; const bodyTypeSelect = document.getElementById('bodyType'); const hideRecommendationsCheckbox = document.getElementById('hideRecommendations'); if (gender) { bodyTypeSelect.removeAttribute('disabled'); hideRecommendationsCheckbox.removeAttribute('disabled'); } else { bodyTypeSelect.setAttribute('disabled', true); hideRecommendationsCheckbox.setAttribute('disabled', true); } bodyTypeSelect.innerHTML = 'Select Body Type'; bodyTypes[gender].forEach(bodyType => { const option = document.createElement('option'); option.value = bodyType; option.innerText = bodyType; bodyTypeSelect.appendChild(option); }); const questionContainer = document.getElementById('questionContainer'); questionContainer.innerHTML = ''; questions[gender].forEach((question, index) => { const questionDiv = document.createElement('div'); questionDiv.className = 'questionContainer'; const questionLabel = document.createElement('label'); questionLabel.innerText = question.question; const questionSelect = document.createElement('select'); questionSelect.innerHTML = 'Select Answer'; question.options.forEach(option => { const optionElement = document.createElement('option'); optionElement.value = option; optionElement.innerText = option; questionSelect.appendChild(optionElement); }); questionDiv.appendChild(questionLabel); questionDiv.appendChild(questionSelect); questionContainer.appendChild(questionDiv); }); }); document.getElementById('hideRecommendations').addEventListener('change', function (e) { const bodyTypeSelect = document.getElementById('bodyType'); if (e.target.checked) { bodyTypeSelect.setAttribute('disabled', true); } else { bodyTypeSelect.removeAttribute('disabled'); } }); 

I just had an awesome D&D game and I think my friend who was also the GM is both low key and high key an absolute genius.
Because, she came up with a brilliant campaign. I would love if Ludwig did something similar, I think it would make great content.
This occurred because her original party had some drama and split (which was why they didn't let me film it or reveal any identities. But, OMG I wish I could have because it was the best and funniest campaign I've seen in all 15 years of my playing this game.)
So being the geeks we are we settled the argument with a D&D duel... but a party vs. party duel. (I was called to fill in because someone rage quit over some other drama and they needed to keep the party numbers even. We are playing 4 vs. 4) She has essentially created a PVP version of D&D.
The campaign is: The city has been besieged by random monsters who keep appearing out of mysterious portals. So the Mayor has offered a thousand gold reward to the adventurers who kill the most monsters, thus thinning their numbers and keeping them at bay. Plus gold bonuses for reaching a certain amount of monster kills e.g. 100, 200, 1000. or for killing particular bosses.
However, kills can only be monsters. If you kill an NPC/townsfolk it is still considered murder. This and any other crime still applies if someone reports it to the city office and of course bounties will be put on anyone who commits a crime.
If caught, and jailed then found guilty you can be fined the 100g diamond dust each to resurrect the murdered (as long as their body is retrieved) or you will be executed if you cannot pay the fine(s). You can only claim the prize money or access the bank if your ledger is clear of any crimes.
We are playing the campaign on endless mode so we allow resurrection of party members, rescue from executions and buying new identities/re-rolling characters if you do get caught or killed but if you want to limit that, you can just end their character's story and have the player help the GM act out citizen NPCs when their character gets caught or killed. The other team...I mean ANYONE can claim the gold bounty if they assist in the capture of any criminal character. (We are also playing with friendly fire on, but that, again, is optional.)
To keep track of these kills/murders each team is assigned a guide played by the gm and given an enchanted bracelet (much like an iwatch). We used bards as the guides, but any class will do. This guide is a bit like a police officer or park ranger they show the adventurers around, they can be asked about knowledge of the terrain, city lore or rules of the tournament at any time. They also report back to the Mayor and enforce any rules/laws. (They can be killed, threatened or bribed but then they could also report you for the crimes or it could registered on the "enchanted bracelet" as a murder.) They are however a non-active party member who stays back away from the combat and offers minimal assitance when in town they go home or to the townhall head office to make reports and leave the adventurers to their plots and schemes.
You can claim the bonus gold or bounties at any time but only if you are in the city bank, there are no outstanding murders/crimes registered against you or a party member, and your guide is alive and around to verify it.
Here is the genius part, she runs each session turn based, team 1 one session then team 2 one session.
Here is where the game gets super fun: During your session, teams can sabotage each other as much as they want. Feed misleading intel to the citizens, plot assassinations of other party members, set traps, frame other party members for crimes, any shenanigans the players can think of to slow or eliminate the other party members is allowed. (My team this round divised a mail bomb which plays "pop goes the weasle" then fires an explosive weasel at their face. Which will be delivered to the other team next session.)
You can also come up with defenses or counter measures. Or you can get down to the business of racking up as many monster kills as possible by exploring the near by caverns or patrolling the city walls.
The other thing that was genius, is my friend set up a huge monitor and had AI generated art of things we described as we played, displayed on the screen in HD... so you immediately got some very vivid, graphic and bizarre images of the most random things. Like a weasle firing out of a jack in the box. 🤣
We also had a printer and laminator so that whenever an NPC, monster or even our own characters were described we could AI generate an image print it, laminate it and make it an instant token for the board.

I’m currently in south beach and saw at least three watches all blinded out ( DJ’s and Presidentials) mostly with the vintage clasp on a jubilee bracelet.
I’m sure the diamonds are real, but the watch has to be a rep right?
Who knows maybe the diamonds were reps too

Just went in and checked, their inventory is extremely limited but there was a bracelet, just a very small one.

• Tiny e bracelet - 10 Link
• Tiny star ring, 7
• Double floral and floral in 8.5+
• Tiny e cross ring, 6
• Double cross charm
• Dog tag with cross pendant
• Tiny e necklace with diamonds - 24"

They were asking ¥163,000 for the tiny e bracelet, a bit on the expensive side if it were ~$890 usd.
I did see a lot of gold jewelry, and very unique gold bands that are 3-4" in width.

Do you remember the beginning? How I would leave work every day at lunch and drive to you to ask you what you wanted for lunch. And then I would go to get it knowing that I would be late getting back to work. But it didn’t matter to me, all I wanted was to see a smile on that beautiful face. Do you remember when I used to leave flowers on your doorstep? Or send them to you almost every week? Do you remember the Pokémon cards and the trips to the mall? And all the restaurants that we used to go to Because I didn’t know where to take you. You showed me my new home and I was forever grateful. Do you remember the rose petals on the bed before I really knew you. I still laugh at myself just thinking what you must’ve been going through. I love you more than there are stars in the sky because you loved me back.
Do you remember calling me at work because you were having a bad day? Do you remember the Inn in Key West? Or the Matisyahu concert at the festival that we went to? Or the beautiful bracelets that you bought me? How about the fun we used to have when we used to go to the jewelry store to buy those diamond earrings? Or when I made it a point to fold all your laundry so that you would not have to be bothered? Or the Jerry Seinfeld concert, where I could not get over how beautiful your laugh was?
There are so many things that I could list where we were so close and together emotionally that it makes it hard for. I’m sure both of us to forget about our lives together. I love you more today than I did yesterday. And I always will.
If I was your person, I would like to do those things again not because I’m trying to buy your love. For me it would be because I want to see you smile and I want you to feel the actual truth, that I really do love you more than anything in this world. I’m not done with us. And I want you to know that I’m gonna take my shot. I want you to know that you are so amazing. You are everything that I’ve ever drunk a woman could be in my life. You see, I know you. And despite the fact that we have not seen each other in a long time, my love will never fade. My feelings will always be there for you. I’m not counting myself out. Especially when I don’t know half the time whether or not, I’m reading something from you or from someone else that I have no idea about. And I would like some personal time away from this therapy session so that I can look into your eyes and tell you exactly how I feel because that’s something that I have never done before honestly. All I ask is that you grant me that onewish, that one desire.
We’re not done.
Always, and forever

hi all! I am headed to the finale in NYC next week, and am making friendship bracelets for all the cast. having trouble coming up with 1-3 words to put on bracelets for randen, tiff, venus and soda! if anyone has any fun cute ideas, please drop them below-thanks!

but what’s it gonna take for you to realize she is sucking the only little bit of life you have left in you. She ALLEGEDLY burned down your house you worked for your children, traumatizing your daughter on the daily (you’re both disgusting for doing shit with her in the room with you guys), making you lose friendships you’ve had for YEARS, she doesn’t give a shit about her own flesh and blood that she birthed, she uses you for the little you have she’s gonna suck you dry til you have nothing. She isn’t gonna stay with you either if she continues her pattern she’s had her whole life. We all know you don’t even like her you just like how easy and immature she is, which is weird of you. Wonder if you’ll ever wake up or if you’re just gonna continue to get played by this little girl. 😂
Most importantly, do what’s best for the kids. Be a present father, put the beer down. Make memories with your kids. Put your kids before this little bitch PLEASE.