I’m finally calm enough to post this but this happened yesterday.
So I had recently made a post about Mother’s Day and what to do if we’re NC with MIL. I was asked by a few people why would me or DH even consider reaching out if we’re NC. So first of all, I would and will never reach out. That bridge is burned. The question was really for DH as I can tell he was struggling a little bit. Second of all, DH is happy being NC, he enjoys not having the drama, however MIL was a heavy alcoholic and drug user most of her adolescence and all of his childhood. She didn’t even get “sober” until he was 18. Poor DH grew up being raised by his sibling while also raising his own mother. His sibling was 5, changing his diapers and helping him eat because MIL was too drunk and partying. Sibling left when they were a teen because they couldn’t handle it anymore so DH was left picking up the pieces. He has grown used to taking care of his mom and taking all of her crap. And because of that, he has a sense of responsibility towards her.
He recognizes now the toxic behavior he dealt with as a kid. The emotional incest. And the mental toll it took on him as a kid. He realizes that he didn’t deserve what happened and still doesn’t. But it’s still hard for him and I can understand that. He had years of her gaslighting him, playing victim, and giving in to her ridiculous demands. When he was 16 she expected him to work 30-40 hours a week while in school, so he can pay rent and buy groceries. She had state funded housing so all that money went to her pocket.
ANYWAY this is not the point of this post. The point was… he ended up not messaging his mom on Mother’s Day. We expected to be bombarded with messages making us out to be the bad guys (as usual) but surprisingly it was quiet. Didn’t get a message, a Facebook comment. Nothing. It was BLISS. We had a quiet Mother’s Day. Hubby and I took a nap when the kids went down and had a nice quiet dinner. All I could ask for.
I should’ve known better. Should’ve known something was going to pop off because it was too quiet. I knew she was going to try to pull something.
It happened yesterday. I was sitting on the couch reading a book, and I hear the door knock. I look out the window and there she is… standing on our front steps. I call to DH because there’s no way I’d be able to contain myself. He goes to the door and opens it and she pushes him aside and strolls right in. I told her she’s not welcome in my home so she needed to step right back out onto the porch. She said she wouldn’t be long and she was just there to pick up her babies. I told her, her babies are full grown and don’t want to see her. She said she meant the children. I told her my children were napping and we’ve already told her, she is not welcome in their lives for the foreseeable future. She started wailing that it wasn’t fair. They’ve probably already forgotten her and she has been unjustly punished enough. She said she was taking her babies and that was final. I told her no and she needed to leave. She tried to make a b-line for the stairs but I was closer so I ran upstairs into the kids room and locked the door. I texted hubby to take care of it or I’ll be calling the police.
I could hear her screaming from downstairs saying she had rights (not in this state) and she demands to see the kids. And how we’re villainizing her. And keeping her kids from her. I then start to hear things being thrown around and the door slam and what I think were fists slamming against it. I wait until it’s finally quiet and DH texts me the all clear.
I guess after DH put his foot down, she flew off the handle and he had to physically remove her from our home. He said it felt like a slow motion tirade and he could hear that dramatic opera music in his head because she was literally kicking and screaming and knocking stuff over as she tried to grab anything to hold on to. We called the police but unfortunately we don’t have cameras and nothing was broken, so there was no proof or evidence for them to charge her with anything.
I can’t believe how unhinged she became out of seemingly nowhere and I’m so frazzled. We’ve invested in some security cameras so hopefully those will come in soon because now I’m on edge all the time thinking she’s going to come back.

TW explicit traumatic memories/images
No contact because he was violent and abusive in his relationships with other women and their children. Witnessed a lot of DV. Had a nightmare last night that I was three or four and he made me do sexual acts on him. I had a crayon in one hand writing my partners name on paper. I felt disgusting. I felt scared. I felt alone. I don’t think he was my abuser. He did weird things like check my butt for pinworms,pull my pants down and spank me or spank my butt over my jeans when I walked, And I remember having issues with reenactment and him letting me suck on his nipples and ears. He also had me shower with him and his ex girlfriend when I was 4 as a form of exposure therapy from CSA at my grandpas house by my half-aunt. He and my mom both have had sex with their partners in the same room as me. There was also a lot of incest on my mom and dad’s side. His sister used to alter my appearance after making me strip off my clothes and dry h*mp her. I was objectified and assaulted repeatedly from ages 3-17. But I have no evidence that my dad has made me do what was happening in the nightmare. I am having big stressors in my life like relationship/marriage failing because I told my partner about my limerence for another person. I know he’s going to leave me because I emotionally cheated (even though it was one-sided). I feel like this stressor could be bringing in memories, but I am so clear that my half-aunt from my mom’s side was my primary abuser. The thing with my dad’s sister was not as frequent as the other abuse from my grandpas house. I have clear memories of her covering my eyes on her lap while her partner was doing things to her. And clear memories of her doing things to me. Up until 17 making me touch her breast because she got a boob job. My dad’s sister was a victim of familial incest with my dad’s extended family. I recall sleepovers when great cousins forced themselves on us. I suspect my half aunt was sexually abused by my uncle and that’s why she did it to me. Now I’m beginning to think I might have been SA’d by my dad too.

My Dad is bringing up a very important word,
"No"
Actually, I think that was his favorite word.
I had a great habit of using it when I was under his roof. What he said is usually what happens first. He was the head of the house and the leader of his own reality. When he was intoxicated or not, what he saw and thought in his mind came to life, even when it never took place in real time.
Why did I give him so much respect when he clearly was showing me toxicity in our relationship at home?
He pretended to be a person of high stature when we are in public. No one would have guessed his bad habits with substances at home and the way he acted behind closed doors. When I reached out for emotional support at school or church, I was mostly shunned by anyone that listened to my story. They taught me that my feelings were wrong and asking for help gets me in trouble. When I told my mom anything, she was busy at work and came home tired. She trusted everything my father would tell her and I got in trouble for speaking out for his behavior. I was kept at home and if anything that could get me out of the house was already planned to be declined if I asked to do anything.
It was hard to please anyone at this point.
I kept my room spotless and vacuumed everyday, just so my dad couldn't say no and tell me to clean my room if I had a friend standing next to me wanting to hang out.
I had one friend in my life that saw my father for who he really is and he scared her pretty bad. He chased me to her car when I was trying to leave my house, he was on oxy at the time. My friend hesitated and kept the car in the driveway and told me to go do what he said. I wanted her to drive as fast as she could away from him, because he took the battery out of my car and I couldn't leave to be with Suz.
Well, after that incident, I lost my friend. She told her parents what happened and she broke all contact with me and stopped talking to me at church. Rumors went around and her mom I sang with on stage started to be disrespectful towards me.
I learned a valuable lesson that day....
When you feel safe enough to speak out and let someone see your true self, you scare people away.
When I trusted someone, I was abandoned when they saw my life for what it is.
The truth was hard to swallow and I had to stay around my father regardless of trying to find help in some form of way I felt heard. I tried to be emancipated, I went to church and sought out resources, I researched about how to prevent suicidal tendencies, I was speaking to a child psychologist. I was working on being more respectful towards my parents, but when my dad got high and made up stories to be angry and attack me. I had no way to protect myself and prove that it was just my father being an addict going through a psychotic episode.
This is why the Lord forced me into psychology.
I didn't want anything to do with it! (Working in a psych ward.... It sucked.)
Suz was the first person to really allow me to learn how to understand it with her version of explaining reality. She is a psychic medium. A very good one! She was very outspoken, rude and funny.... I can take the hard criticism. Nothing amounted to the trauma my father already caused me to feel. I survived high school band.... My director was exactly like my father and I was verbally abused at school by certain individuals.
I kept it all to myself and I planned very strategically my way to "heaven". I kept a journal on purpose for someone to find later. I wrote about everything I was feeling and how I was being treated, my poems, other interesting facts about spirituality, death and dying.
Suz taught me how to have a "book of shadows"..... Well, she is a witch..... It shouldn't be scary when I say that, she was a very proud "light witch". She only worked for the good of humanity. Christianity shuns such practices, but it really is part of the culture before religion became a thing. She taught me so many things that my Dad made me swear I would never get involved in.....
My Dad went into psychology after he decided he wasn't going to be a pastor. His past marriage was a major roadblock for him that he lost faith in God and didn't feel it was right for him to lie on stage to other believers when he wasn't being honest about his own walk in faith anymore.
A divorce would literally kill my soul. I can't imagine what betrayal feels like until you promise your life in vows to someone and it doesn't work out....My Dad made sure to show me that marriage is a special connection and I had to be very cautious who I accept as my spouse. I never forgotten how important it was for him to see me with the right man, but he was so overprotective, he never allowed me to learn how to date or even go to a school dance.
I blame the drugs for interfering in our relationship as a family. My Father was a very smart man, until he took a pill, shot up, or drink... My dad worked in anesthesia, he knew how to mix his own concoction and by pass the system to get his fix. He was forced to retire don't worry, but his knowledge to get drugs was phenomenal all that he knew about medicine.
It really sucked that he knew psychology and ways to manipulate people to get what he wanted. He was a very skilled hypnotherapist on top of that. My family is the result of a head narcissist raising more products of himself.
If you see my family now, we are estranged for good reasons, but they still hurt me personally. I really tried to keep us together after my father passed away, but the rest of my family chose to ignore my advances to keep in contact. I'm not even invited to the family reunions.
It's okay, because we have a lot of family history of incest and "S.A." and I understand why we are not invited.... I know a lot of things about our family after my father passed away. I know why he turned to be a pastor and then went in psychology to help himself and others, but then he lost his way and turned to drugs to mask his pain. The enemy stepped in and my Dad gave into his weaknesses..... He tried and he fought hard. Even when he attacked me my whole life. I still sat there and listened to him and I was forced to listen and not leave the room, but then God showed me to talk back to my Dad.....
So, I started to read more about the Bible and relate to him.
That's why I went to church...
I went to church 4 times a week to get away from the house, but to also just understand why I want to end my life and know that I would go to heaven if I actually tried it.....I was worried about my Mom and how my actions would affect her, she was a big reason why I stalled my plans and then my Dad had this wise idea to get me to work at a mortuary. Told me to walk into one and ask for a job.
Crazy how I jump topics all of a sudden, but this is how my Dad and I got along with each other. Weird and comical. lol
If it wasn't about music, it was about spirituality. I was into a lot of death related shows because I was suicidal. If you remember any of these, they came out around the time I was in high school.
Six Feet Under
Dead Like Me
Dr. G Medical Examiner
1000 Ways to Die
Ghost hunters
Crime Scene Clean Up Crew shows.
I would walk in the dining room while he was chillin in his hospital bed. Watching Finding Big Foot.
"Hey DAD! check this out."
It was a nice distraction to his day. It brought up his own fears with common daily interactions because of my odd obsession with the topic of dying.
My father at this point in his cancer diagnosis, he was on something they call,
Palliative care.
My mom explained to me that it means he was going to die. Lovely how blunt my mother is, but that's how she said it without sugar coating it....
But it was in a way it would be under his terms. My father at this point died once while receiving radiation therapy. His heart stopped and was revived. When he woke up angry and violent towards at the medical team. He yelled at my mom that he was ready to "go". So, after that incident he got the right person to sign him up for his new journey to his death.
That was a weird way of telling you what palliative care is, but that's how I found out and understood that he had a "DNR" to his name after that incident. Sometimes he was in a hospice home for a few months to give us a break at home dealing with his drama.
My Dad was surrounded by death, so it made me really research death and dying very deeply. I was afraid for anyone to see the books I read because they were about taboo topics you shouldn't see a teenager obsessing over. Death and dying, crossing over, letting go of loved ones, suicide survivors, decomposition of human remains, the death process, how a body is embalmed, what medical examiners while cutting open a corpse.
Then I got into the spiritual side of things that involve the devil and crossing over. How to avoid walking back towards hell when you are deceived by dark forces. How to fight your inner hell and not be trapped in that mindset when you are passing away.
I would have the craziest dreams after learning about these topics. But in a weird way, all I wanted to do was sleep to escape my reality. I would talk to my Dad about the stuff I found about those topics and it helped him be closer to me as a father. Something my little brother doesn't understand and ridiculed about me when he criticized my relationship with him. He had his own way to being with Dad, but my way, was with deeper meaning and serious topics. Stuff only Dad and I knew what that meant. It wasn't supposed to make sense to my mom or brother the special talks we had when he was in pain laying in bed.
I showed my Dad the other side to life....
I helped my Dad not be afraid to die, and do it with dignity and strength.
I helped my Dad understand that his addictions didn't ruin our connection as father and daughter and that I wanted to forgive him for his past before he died. He really appreciated my understanding that the drugs turned him into a different person, but inside of him, God was always there. My father told me, because of me, I allowed him to find love for God again and he was closer to his Mom because I showed him to not be afraid of my friend Suz.
That my friend wasn't evil and she taught me so much about angels and spirits, he was learning about them because I had the best mentor in the world. She helped me find my relationship with my Dad, that brought me to be closer to God and because I learned about God in a metaphysical way, I helped myself grow in my own understanding to where I wasn't going to end my life.
I found a reason to live even through the pain of watching the enemy run through my family and take away everyone and everything that means something to me.....
(I would like to post this, but I know it's not ready. I have so much to say and I know my story will help someone else not be afraid.)
I am still writing my story.
This is the book I was supposed to write about....
The one about death and dying.
Not about my background in psychology.
*That is a message for someone else. hint hint... That is your topic to write about. I hope you receive that message with understanding and go forth wisely. You asked me to remind you, so I am, quietly...
I am working with others in a way the Lord leads me.
It takes up my energy from writing and I have to prioritize what is more important. When it comes to someone's transition. I feel led to help someone cross over. I've done this since I was a child. No one taught me to understand how I do this. I also dream about meeting certain individuals and speak to them about life and death, God allows me to remember my dreams and I share them with the people it is about.
Most times, God will send people to talk to me and then I learn about them dying or having a terminal illness that is difficult to get through. That is where I am reminded of my life with my father and my jobs in the medical field and bring up all that I learned about death, dying, spirituality, religion, crossing over, eastern medicine, etc....
Then I become friends, or we have nice conversations that are very engaging and healing in general. I am later told that I have helped them in some way and they are happy to have met me. Then my dad shows up in my presence and shows me how I am doing what I am supposed to and to trust my gut feelings from now on. He promised me when he was alive, he was always going to be by my side and teach me about life.
Now I finally understand what he meant by that and I now that I know how to
"Listen with my HEART"
That is how he spoke to his mom before he crossed over. I taught him how and he was able to go deeper with it since his soul was ascending and leaving the physical body. The dream state plays a big part of crossing over and communicating with loved ones. That is where my gifts come into play. I am sensitive enough to feel him and learn his lessons that he encourages me to write it all down.
I'm not the writer I wish to become yet, but as long as it's getting out there for someone to find, that's all that matters.
Don't forget to realize that we are all dying. Don't allow your diagnosis or reality to have you feel stuck in misery until you die. Don't allow the pain and confusion to stop you from gaining understanding to the karma you're experiencing.Being a medium for me has been traumatizing, because I had to earn my way to understanding. I had to experience hell in order to seek solitude and want to create peace with my sanity and not let the forces around me cause me to go insane. I went "within" so I can heal my trauma and know what triggers me to thinking about the negative side to things.
That is all the enemy fighting with you spiritually.
When we die, we lose our vessel, not our spirit.
We are the spirit having the human experience.
This isn't forever.
Thank God for that!
Pain does end, but learn what the pain wants to teach you about life around you. You will help someone else with your story when you're meant to cross paths.
Everyone in your life is there to teach you something.
Are you ready for the lesson?
Are you ready to understand your lesson?
So, it's crazy how I end up writing these posts, but they are all for a reason that I don't understand right now, but I'm doing as I'm told.
I'm not afraid of death, I'm not afraid of anyone stalking me because I speak of life in a way no one else has, because this is my story.
I don't know why I wrote it this way before I got here.
My destiny, I mean.....
I know my purpose now and of all the things I pushed away in my life, God forced me to go back into it and learn more about myself. The things I didn't want to face and be reminded about my Dad.... I just want to live my life in peace. I didn't want to think about my past love, but I meet people that remind me of my life back home and that person in particular.....
So, it's all hitting at once. It's a slow process, my father has been gone for 11 years now. I'm getting the hang of it now...... Writing this isn't a race for me, the lessons are exciting to finally understand why I went through them, but again.... Time helps me explain things better when I see it in a different perspective. I couldn't have accomplished that goal until I went through the pain and worked on my character to change my outcomes to my problems. I had to change myself first.
I hope those that are part of this journey with me understand that I am only putting out there tools to help them succeed.
I'm not going out of my way to create another trauma bond or narcissistic injury towards anyone. I love them very much and I want them to work on themselves and gain abundance correctly, not with the use of black magic and occult practices.
That's another story for another day. Suz wants them to know that she was in my life to warn me about my lessons in my future, but I can't run from them. I am here to learn lessons and teach others how to learn theirs.
That's all this is about.
Life is a stage, how do you want to play it?
I choose to grow and allow myself to see the positive to where I feel the emotion of bliss, love, joy and acceptance of all things coexisting together.
I be back soon,
I hope you have a nice weekend.
<3,
Tina,

Where do I begin. For the purpose of this post, I will use fictious names and locations as it is ongoing, and out of respect (even though she doesn't deserve any)
My name is Daniel. I am 35 years old, and i am dying. I have a disease called systemic sclerosis. I am currently on a supplemental disability plan, until I get approved for SSI (social Security). Until then, my income is about 4K a month. I own a home but after child support and bills, NOT INCLUDING gas, food, haircuts, medical appointments, and or emergencies like my fridge just broke. (which i never go out) I am left with $260 that has to last me a month. I also have three children who I have to take care of half the time per the 50/50 agreement.
Recently, I found out my oldest, (who is 13) is not biologically mine. I decided to look into it as I had concerns for a while since my divorce as her cheating was very rampant. I also had caught her in 2017 with a man in my house, which is what prompted the divorce. But FL being a no fault state, doesn't matter. I also had to pay child support since the beginning and WHILE LEGALLY Married since 2010 because she had applied for financial support like food stamps and government assistance then. I know what your thinking. Why didnt you stop it then? I tried. You cant take yourself off child support. I also never grew up with a father and wanted that two-parent household. I don't run from responsibilities, like he did. Its how I was raised. Anyways, I married her, tried to do the right thing, she lied numerous times. she never worked, and I worked 90 plus hours a week. To look into her cheating, was impossible at the time as I was never home. and to busy providing for my family.
fast forward to now. My disease started to become worse and over three years; it didn't reveal itself until last year fully to actually pinpoint what this was. for instance, I had in 2019 pain behind my eyes and horrible headaches to the point that I thought I had MS. following year, I had trouble swallowing for 3 months. next year itching in the skin for three months. But prior, I had visited various doctors to see what was going on, each time a flare up then would last 3 to four months, which again, when you don't understand what's going on, you need to take time off to go see doctors, run tests, but this illness was and still is very elusive. with that being said I had 5 jobs since its first flare up till last year to continue to support my family and to pay child support. as of last year. I'm having trouble moving on certain days, breathing and acid reflux and muscle atrophy. (disease progression) especially when this is going on, it worsens everything as this is flared up. I was working under the table to try and make ends meet as I was paying child support still. I should add that the child support with 50/50 custody was $1029 for three kids cause I was making six figures at the time of divorce in 2018. Last year however, I couldn't work anymore, and filed for disability.
In june of last year, I had asked Susan, to get the children school supplies, (which she never does) as I was still paying at the time $1029 in child support. She said she didnt have the money despite now making 70k and her new BF living with her and is working whom she cheated on me with. With me working under the table, I bought them clothes, haircuts, school supplies (ive done every year) but then, I noticed she went on vacation to puerto rico and got a giant leg tattoo. At the time, I had already known what I had, and I asked myself why the heck am I doing this? So i turned to an attorney to get it modified. Again, this is June 20th to be exact of last year. My lawyer, stated that this was only going to be a 90 day turn around for the temporary modification then we will go for the final.
Since then, I have gone for a DNA test. I had to know. I am dying. I wanted to know. And you may judge me for this. but i have filed for disablement for paternity, meaning I am removing myself from the birth certificate. However, in the state of Florida, a mother can deny this and so can the courts. before you judge me, I have many reasons none of which have to do with him other then his mental disability (Aspergers) This illness, as days go by takes more and more from me. As previously aforementioned, I am left with 250 a month. I cannot go get a drs appointment pay for groceries or start planning my funeral which I will start making payments on soon. He also eats three times the amount that we all collectively do (Not his fault) but I have paid enough both mentally and financially. He also has trouble communicating as my suspicions is, that he was born of incest (gross) which is why I was 'chosen' to be his father at the time. Before you ask how do you know? Lets just say she had an uncle 'leave' during that time.
anyways, in February, I had the temporary modification hearing for child support and needless to say it was a circus. My doctor was subpoenaed to be there by my attorneys request to better my argument, even though I felt we didn't need her, she advised me to have my doctor there. Well, he attorney attacked my doctor and me for an hour and 40 mins when the court case was only supposed to go for an hour. He said "you saw another dr Max so and so and they said it was all in your head" (again I had flare ups on a illness that hadnt revealed itself correctly since last year). So there argument was that I was doctor seeking to avoid child support. After I have paid for 13 years never missing a payment. Her lawyer also targeted people who are living with me. Now I'll admit that I said they were friends which is true but how else can I pay for my attorney? Cant work, cant sell drugs, cant rob a bank? So they want to take there income into consideration. BS. She also hired a private investigator to watch me exercise outside and stated that because I can exercise, I can work..... Ok. Where's the 23 hours of the rest of the day watching me in pain. or when do you have me on video of a flare up from this terminal illness? (that's what I wanted to say)
Although I was granted the temporary modification, of $209, I left the court thinking wow, this woman can cheat, commit paternity fraud, not give two craps about our children, live with her mom in a section 8 home, and here I am doing whatever I can and I've done nothing wrong but be lied to and this is how my government, my country treats me? No wonder men my age dont have children this is insane. The paternity issue wasn't even brought up they said that this isnt the place for this and that the disestablishment will be another trial for those wondering. My lawyer only spoke for 5 mins. Asking her about her income cause thats the only thing that has changed since 2018 since she didnt work at the time. Other than that, it was an attack on me and my disease arguing my ability to work.
after leaving that, I didnt eat for 96 hours. I have since been crying nonstop. Compilating suicide. I am already heart broken about my son not being mine. Sure does a terminal illness make me said, no question everyday. But a life wasted on another? Cause I decided to be a man and take up responsibility? thats soul crushing. And to say "well, there is a big chance the courts will deny your request' thats BS. If i go to prison because I was accused of a robbery for 13 years, and DNA evidence proves I wasnt there, I get out of jail and can sue. This is no different. If anything, DNA evidence needs to be more of a factor in family law than in almost every court of law if not as equally important. My bad for not investigating her infidelity not only in the beginning but also in the end. How about not being a POS. sorry rant over
gets better. Her mom and dad smoke in the section 8 house, kids reek of cigarette smoke and marijuana, all day. they dont take showers there, they were hand me down clothes, they live in the garage shared with there mother, that isn't air conditioned. and he makes only a few thousand less than I do a month. She stated in court that she pays her mom $500 in rent which is BS, she is only doing that now so that she makes herself look bad. I know she is doing pills, like oxy and what not. Id love to prove it.
after the temp hearing, in april, I had to go to court to contest my drivers license suspension as I hadn't paid child support since, august of last year. again, there is no way, I can pay my bills, feed my children, go to the doctor, pay my lawyer to end all of this BS and pay the current child support amount. and again, this final hearing is still not set yet. So they intercepted my tax return, even though the temporary modification was approved, the final is what gets it retro backed to the date of filing, so they took, a much needed 5500 tax return from me. I needed that cause one of the issues I failed to mention as well, hurricane Ian has destroyed my home and I'm still going through that process too. not to mention I am on payment plans with Mayo clinic and other various medical facilities. (no one cares) but the interest that accrues, makes it impossible to catch up. also, Florida department of rev is overstepping I feel, and asking for medical info to be sent to them as well as updated doctors letters to be sent saying that I am still on disability.
a few weeks ago, I got an email from my lawyer having a withdrawal notice from her lawyer. in the withdrawal, he stated that he cannot represent her, due to something she may have withheld or lied about (more or less wasn't worded like that but you can tell). In feb court appearance they never produced the PI report, or videos, they had medical info they shouldn't have had, and they had very outlandish comments about my lifestyle. So my lawyer filed immediately a motion to compel. meaning, we want to see everything you have on my client. this was filed almost immediately after court appearance on feb 20th. Susan has failed to provide any updated info requested by my attorney so on june 18th, we have that upcoming hearing.
in the mean time, I have sent my lawyer, a very heavily requested topics, such as "where did they get my medical records, if those were lies, what are the consequences if any"? What did exercising have to do with any of this despite various drs saying he has to or he will get worse.
I know wat you must be thinking, what about your oldest, how can you do that to him. Please listen. This woman has taken everything from me. And i mean everything but the roof over my head. I am seeing a therapist to help with the suicidal thoughts. it isnt enough. the reality of it is, I chose to be loyal and it bit me in the butt. This disease will rob me of everything, my teeth will fall out ( I had 5 cavities last time I went to the dentist) I haven't had a cavity since I was 30 and even then I was suspicious. And I am brushing 5 time s a day to save them. My skin is tightening, and my arms and muscles are wasting. I will literally be left with nothing. My organs will also start to harden, and I will have to start getting around the clock care.
I forgot to mention they (child support) recently, sent a letter to SSI (social security) saying that they would garnish my SSI before I even got it, totaling $1029. the incorrect amount. I sent this to my lawyer and she is looking into it. But it shows that child support will overstep and breaks every law or freedom you may think you have. I DO take care of my children. if they need a haircut i do it, school supplies clothes, anything I do it. And I do it, cause she wont. What I want to leave you with, is that woman can be dead beats too. Child support was designed to have woman off of government subsidized programs like section 8 food stamps and what not. Also to make the man pay for their children man or woman I should say, I know this. I am not running from my obligation. I just want Susan, to have to pay for what's she's done to me and the kids.
I would like to hear your thoughts on this, please comment and share, all names are fake, but everything else is unfortunately real. I know it was wordy, but I wanted to provide as much backstory as possible. And please. Respect my descions. When you are end of life, I hope someone would be kind enough to respect yours. You may not agree and that's ok, but I am asking you to respect them. Thank you for reading.

i F21 have my birthday today May 18. this post is going to be a bit long im sorry but i feel like i have to give a lot of back context. i do not live with my mom and i havent since i was F18, i’ve been living with my bf M23 at the time M20 because she stole thousands (roughly 15K) from MY social security benefits after my dad passed. anyways my mom told me for my birthday i had two options of what she would do for me. i could either go on a family dinner or i could get a couple things from the dollar tree. my mom gets paid around 1200 every single week. also the family dinner isn’t a real family dinner because i have 14 siblings and she only claims 3-5 depending on what day you ask her, the “family” she’s considering in this situation is her, my younger brother 18M and her boyfriend which is his dad. my younger brother just got out of juvi/jail he’s been there for like 3-4 years for GTA. when we were younger M11 and me F13 and lived together with our abusive aunt (her sister) he ended up coming into my room one night and tried to get me to have sex with him and i refused and told him how i’m his sister and he tried to get me to give him head and i still refused. ever since then i’ve obviously been uncomfortable around him. while he was in jail/juvi he confessed what he did and under the eyes of the state i was considered a victim and he was no longer allowed to talk to me. i told my mom what happened as well and so did he but she never cared. the only person that cared was his dad which is quite literally a prodigy of incest and he told my brother that what he did was wrong which was why my brother came clean while locked up. however while he was locked up despite me not talking to him my mom was sending him pics of me without my consent and even sent pics of me in a bikini style top. my brother got released less than a month ago and has since made multiple facebook pages to try to friend me and has called and texted my messenger several times but i won’t answer. i told my mom i didn’t want to see him and especially not for my birthday and she told me fine you can get the couple things from dollar tree and i told her no thank you it’s okay we don’t have to do anything and now she’s saying i’m being rude and disrespectful

Strong trigger warning rape, Incest,suicide,mental health, and mental abuse.
I'm a 16-year-old girl and I abuse my whole childhood. I was sexually abuse by my mom for 8 months to 3 years old. I was kidnapped at 6 Just imagine the most predatory things That's what happened to me. While I was there I heard sounds of another little girl no older than 3 getting rape. I sexual assault while walking to school a week before my 14th birthday. Then after that when I was 14 got into a relationship with a 28-year-old. Then all of that I tried to k!ll myself at 15.
The reason I'm posting this is because I just want a safe place to talk about my trauma. Thank you for listening.

Some people are against abortion because they see it as unethical and the equivalent of murder. Some people are also okay with abortion just because a woman doesn’t want to carry the child for whatever reason. I can see why some people share either view.
What confuses me are instances when people are against abortion except in certain cases. Some people might be against abortion unless the pregnancy puts the mother at risks.
I see how some people are able to justify that morally. They might view a fetus as life that puts another life at risk and there’s the chance that neither life survives. So in certain instances, an abortion will statistically preserve the most lives. That makes sense to me.
However, when people are okay with it in cases on rape, incest etc. then I get confused. You truly believe a fetus is a person and an abortion is murder. But you’re okay because it was rape. It just doesn’t make sense to me. You’re basically saying murder is okay if the person is from rape/incest.
How does sharing those moral views differ than saying it’s okay to go to an orphanage to murder babies who are born to rape/incest. I guess some might make the argument that it’s traumatic for a mother to carry a baby due to no fault of her own. But it’s also saying that it’s okay to kill someone to prevent trauma.
Not only that, but the other question is what is the burden of that they would propose to be needed for these abortions. Would a woman need to proof she was raped. My knowledge about rape cases are that most don’t lead to conviction.
My assumption would be that it’s one person’s word against another in most of these cases. On person said they were raped and the other said it’s consensual. I assume most people aren’t raping in front of witnesses. So it’s just one persons’s word against the others. I might be wrong on this but it’s just my guess.
So would a conviction need to happen for the abortion to be allowed. What if the case takes longer than the pregnancy. Or could a woman just tell her physician she was raped and that’s enough for an abortion to happen.
As for incest i know you can do dna test on a fetus and if it’s truly the result of incest then fetus’ dna would be way closer to the moms. But how common is incest? I know rape is way more common than most people assume, but I’d assume incest is not as common. I could be wrong on this just a guess.
I just boggles me when people are in the middle on this issue.

I (24f) had my daughter almost a year ago and during that time I had to cut off people from my family. The first person was my father. We've never had a good relationship and despite many chances he has fucked up each time but this particular time he kept INSISTING that it was "family tradition" for Grandpa to be there in the delivery room. I told him no multiple times and then told him to not show up at all because of how he was talking to me. He makes my husband(25m) very uncomfortable with how he talks to me and honestly it's low-key emotional incest. He tried to guilt trip us into letting him in. Then my grandpa from my father's side decided that my father "deserved" to have a picture of my daughter after I told him I was no contact. With my older brother (27m) the plan was for him to come to town and stay at my apartment while my husband and I were in the hospital. He not only refused to leave, he took the "dad couch" forcing my husband stay awake from 8am to about 7pm the following day. We told my brother multiple times to go and rest in our bed and that we would call him as soon as my daughter was born. Again he refused. I told my nurses I don't want epidural whatsoever and at one point during the build up in contractions, I was in the bathroom and heard my brother telling the nurse I might want the epidural. I legitimately had to throw open the door and curse both him and the nurse out for even bringing it up. I couldn't tell the nurse to kick him out either cuz each time she would come in I was having a issue with the monitors and IV so I never got the chance to actually say anything before she would leave each time. About a week later once my brother is back home he calls asking for pictures of my daughter but instead I confronted him about his actions while I was giving birth and told him he stole that moment from my husband and I. Before I could say anything further he cut me off, told me not to talk, tried LYING to us saying that he did offer to go but he was "too tired" from driving everywhere. He said that he would contact me when he was ready but has only been sending me random tiktoks and wishing me a happy holiday or another event. I still haven't gotten an apology. Now my mom is the tricky part. My younger sibling (17) lives with her still and that's the only real reason I still talk to her and my stepdad. The family dynamics is absolutely terrible btw. My mom told me about a month or so ago she was sending pictures of my daughter to my brother without me knowing or asking me. I have stopped sending my mom pictures of my daughter because of this and she's pretty upset about it. She doesn't reach out to me, never has, and the only reason she even knows what's going on is that I call or message first. With my stepdad, I don't talk to him at all at this point. Before my daughter was born I (still trying to have some time of relationship with him) asked how he felt about being a grandpa. THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAD THE AUDACITY to cut me off and say "no no, step grandpa. I'm not actually a grandpa until -sibling- has kids." My siblings and I all have different bio dads, mine just happened to be the worst of it. There is soooo much more but idk what info would be useful at this point So with everything thats happened, AITAH?

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Any of you guys ever felt like you were cheating on your parent when you were with a partner or anything? A couple years ago I was being intimate with a female friend of mine, and I had a weird feeling within me and it felt like I was cheating on my mom. Now finding out about emotional incest, it finally made sense why I felt like that and is the reason why I can’t and have very little desire to form relationships with women. Anyone else ever went through this?

I have been struggling a lot with my mental health lately, and can’t shake the feeling that I may have been through something traumatic in my childhood which is causing current problematic behaviour. I need an outsider to weigh in here. This is going to be long.
(For context I’m a trans guy, AFAB)
I am an extremely hypersexual person who has for a number of years now sought increasingly risky sexual encounters with strangers, especially older and violent men. It is starting to take a huge toll on my mental health as I try to figure out what might be causing this.
For context, my parents divorced when I was 4 and I have had semi-contact with my bio dad for a number of years now. Not the best relationship but nothing too damaging. I thought at first this relationship was causing a lot of abandonment complex which causes me to seek out sexual validation. I then started examining my relationship with my mom and step-dad and realised there may be something else here. I have always felt slightly uncomfortable around them without really knowing why.
My mom does not really have a sense of boundaries, physical or emotional. She has on multiple occasions given unsolicited “advice” about my appearance and how to appear more good looking and sexually attractive. She has also on a few occasions demanded to touch my chest when I’ve explicitly told her no. Most times I’ve just had to give in and let her do it. Her reasoning has always been that she “wants to check how big they are” (which obviously as a trans guy has always made me super uncomfortable). She thinks it’s fine because she’s my mom and “has seen it all before”.
My step-dad, whom my mom married when I was 6, has always had very raunchy sense of humour and will often make sexual jokes around me and my siblings. He has made several incest jokes throughout my life, where he insists he would never do such a thing, despite constantly bringing it up (most recent example was around Christmas when he made a joke about step-dads molesting their step-daughters). I distinctly remember an incident when I was around 10 where I accidentally grabbed his private parts while in a swimming pool, and he kept bringing it up for the rest of the day, as if to shame me.
Before I transitioned he would always make remarks like “if I were younger I would date you” and “if I could choose between you and your sister I’d choose you”, and he was very very opposed to my transition, almost defensively so. I have never reciprocated these “jokes” like my sister has, and I could always tell it bums him out. He has also “accidentally” showed me pornographic videos before, blaming it on his friends for sending it to him.
Not only that but I have a few distinct memories/dreams from my early childhood that involved sexual situations. The first one I can remember I was around 7, where I had a “dream” that I was sitting on an older man’s lap while he made me grind on him. Another “dream” was age 9-10 where I was looking at myself in the bathroom mirror topless while an older man was fondling me. I had a friend around the same age with whom I would play the “forcing game” (my idea), which involved us lying down pretending to be sexually assaulted by an older man who I would voice. I would also regularly between the ages 7-10 “play out” sexual assault scenes when playing by myself. I know kids might have some idea of sex at that age but it always seemed weird it involved older men and non-consent. I had a brief phase where I was terrified to turn my back to the door when sleeping in case someone snuck in and assaulted me. I was also terrified that the outline of my bum would be visible under the covers whenever anyone was around.
For as long as I’ve been sexually active I remember being drawn to non-consensual pornographic content. Due to my high sex drive I’ve also consumed a lot of porn and it has inevitably let me down the inescapable incest tropes. Sometimes it’s the only thing that can get me off and I feel grossed out and hate myself for it.
I am hesitant to think that my parents ever intended to be incestuous, and nothing physical (other than my mom touching my chest) has ever taken place to my knowledge. I feel weird for even considering that their actions may have caused such shameful behaviour in me. However this has been on my mind for too long and I just needed to get it out. I do suspect I have BPD though and sometimes I feel like I am just imagining things or blowing things out of proportion.
I may delete this shortly but any thoughts or advice is much appreciated thank you.

Background: My (late 30sF) husband (late 30sM) and I have been together for almost 18 years. We have a tween daughter and a 9 yo son, who are the only two grandchildren in the family. He has three younger sisters who are quite a bit younger than he is (ranging from early 20s to early 30s.) We've been together so long that I have been in his sister's lives longer than I haven't, his one sister was in 3rd grade when we got married. I'm not new to this family. Recently, one of his sisters found out she's pregnant with her bf of two years.
Prior to Mother's Day, the youngest sister started a text thread to brainstorm Mother's Day gift ideas for my MIL (mid 60s.) I've always HATED Mother's Day, we live close to my in laws and my momma's boy husband always prioritizes his mother over me, which is extra painful because his mom has never liked me (there's definitely some emotional incest going on there.) His youngest sister suggested that my MIL "deserves a massage" and we should go in on a gift certificate for her. I thought that was a great idea, and I Venmo'd her our share. A few days later, the same sister started a new thread to suggest we get a massage for my pregnant SIL as well, because "she deserves a prenatal massage." Great! I again Venmo'd her for our share of the gift certificate. In the back of my mind I'd hoped that I would get a massage, too. My MIL refused to acknowledge me on Mother's Day when I was pregnant with my first child, so I was glad that my SIL is getting recognition during her pregnancy.
Mother's Day rolls around. My husband for the first time EVER, in 12 years, makes me breakfast in bed and gets me flowers and a card and does the dishes. Later in the day we go to his parent's house to celebrate my MIL and my pregnant SIL. We have a nice brunch and we give my MIL the flowers, card, and small present we got her and we give my SIL flowers and a card, knowing that the massage gift certificates were being delivered digitally by the youngest sister who is in college in another state. She video calls and my MIL and SIL are given a joint gift certificate to receive their massages at the same time as a mothedaughter bonding activity. There are tears and thank yous and after chatting a bit she hangs up and we wrap up our visit. I received nothing from my in laws. No flowers, no cards, no massage. Not shocking, I wasn't expecting anything, nor do I believe his family is required to give me a gift. But, it's still disappointing. Again, I have been in this family pushing two decades. I have had the only two grandkids for 12 years. We see these people weekly. It wouldn't have been easy to "forget" me on Mother's day.
I didn't say anything there, because what would that accomplish? As we're leaving though, I say to my husband, "well, that was kind of awkward." He asks what I mean and I say that I felt hurt that I was excluded and didn't get a massage. He gets irritated and tries to fumble around some kind of excuse or reason that I was left out, and then riles himself up and gets angry and tells me I'm a selfish asshole for expecting his family to buy me an expensive gift. "After all," he said, "you got breakfast in bed and flowers, it's not like I forgot about you! And besides, my mom is old and my sister is pregnant so they deserve massages!" I didn't even say anything back, I'm so fucking tired y'all. It's not even about the massage, it's about being left out. But it's been this way for so long, I don't even know what's assholery and what isn't. AITAH for wanting a massage and being upset that I didn't get one when the other moms did?

this might be a lot and not the place for this but someone bear with me (22m) please ;_; was talking to my family about my experiences with magic mushrooms, and my grandfather (mom’s side) said something like “be careful, my brother had a schizophrenic episode after taking lsd- we found him rambling about the molecule and he had poorly drawn out a picture of the molecule on the ground.” but i don’t think there’s ever been a conversation about him having schizophrenia? anyway then he went on to ramble about the “this is your brain on drugs”/scrambled eggs commercials that would come on tv a long time ago. and given our family histories which i will elaborate on, i feel like this is a conversation that should have happened much sooner?? or maybe he was just talking out of his ass idk lmao
mental illness seems to run in the family on both sides with alcoholism being pretty prevalent in a lot of both my mom and dad’s relatives. my dad’s brother killed himself with a gun when they were in highschool and my dad found the body. ultimately he became a pretty abusive alcoholic, and he was really prone to mood swings looking back at it. I was put in therapy after my mom divorced him but we never really talked as a family. my older sister inherited his hip deformity that made him unfit for the catholic high school his brothers all went to, and a virus that caused her to have emergency surgery at birth (which left her deaf in both ears, and she stands 4’7” at 25 years old) he picked on her and our older brother a lot, and we all struggle socially. My brother kept to himself a lot until he died at 19 in a freak car accident on a road trip with his friends. Guy with dementia snuck out and got in a car with his dog at like 2am, took an exit ramp onto the highway going the wrong way right as they took the same one, spun out and all then all lights went out, so they got rear ended by a tractor trailer. that model of jeep had a defect where the trailer hitch would break and push in to the gas tank, causing an explosion. happened a couple times prior and was actually almost recalled years before (-: trucking company policy was call your superiors before anyone else, phone records reflected that phone call did in fact happen while those kids were burning to death. i dont blame that poor driver knowing what little i know about trucking and their work conditions, and i got half of a music degree paid for by my share of the settlement. i’ve always felt like that would not have happened if these were not several upper middle class suburban families who were affected by the tragedy, who could afford to pursue legal action for years against an entity like that. I think the community rallied to donate some but even then, it was a fairly affluent community
the last time i saw my dad was at my brothers funeral. i was 14 and it had been a couple years already, but he aged so poorly much i mistook him for his dad who had died a decade prior. i don’t think we spoke until a few years later on the phone, and it was the last time we spoke. he was antagonizing my mom with his usual nonsense that she was making him out to seem like a bad guy to us, and that she was secretly in love with her cousin (who she has always been very close to) — i told him to go fuck himself — that was a reccuring taunt of his our whole childhood, which i always thought was weird but never thought much of it. eventually my brother no longer wanted to visit my mom’s extended family once he had a say in it, and he never really wanted to talk about it either. a few years after my brother died, we were visiting the cousin in question, when i woke up just in time to see them kiss. I went back to sleep like I saw nothing and my sister texted me in the morning telling me she saw the same thing.
Apart from the yknow, incest, she remarried two years before my brother died- so naturally we confronted her about it and she just sort of fawned and said she had too much to drink and that it won’t happen again. they always get too drunk together at family events and I have glimpsed kissy face emojis and other suggestive language on her phone that she obviously was trying to shield with her hands.
Now I’m questioning pretty much everything. I don’t think it was long after that when my dad went missing, which my mom only noticed because he hadn’t sent birthday cards for a whole year, and within a year of that he was found in florida, dead on the street with fentanylin his blood. he was either dosed or killed himself. My family told me he died of natural causes accelerated by his alcoholism when it first happened and didn’t mention the fentanyl until very recently. Im wondering what else could they have they lied about or just have not told me because they don’t think I need to know?
One thing I try not to think too much about is something my mom said just once when I was little, about how when my sister was born the Doctors advised them not to have more kids bc it would be risky, “but I turned out fine” or something. My dad never came to visit our family on my mom’s side that i can remember, and when I was really little we spent a lot more time with her cousin doing a lot of quality time stuff; movies, mini golf, etc. The guy also drank a lot but he’s had better luck kicking the worst of his habits I guess.
JFC what do i make of all of this
….
i also sometimes feel like i’m getting schizo-baited by all of my targeted adds and articles on all of social media and sometimes i feel like im being watched so i don’t go anywhere or talk to my friends much at all. i went to a protest the other day and saw the typical undercover cop in his “hello fellow kids” getup, next day I step out of work to go to a coffee shop and the same dude in the same outfit is sitting next to the door when i go to leave. anyway please advise

I'm a 27 yr old, who feels kinda lost. Granted I have my 2 kids, a stable job, a wonderful boyfriend, and a supportive group of wonderful people in my life. I just found out that I'm pregnant and the family is excited. However I'm currently taking my abuser to court and it's been getting stalled. Multiple times. What I mean by stalled is that they keep pushing it off for one reason or another. I wanna give you guys some background before I ask my questions.
When I was 11 my biological father signed his rights away, gave me to my biological mother and (at that time) my stepdad, and left my life. I remember, on my birthday, the school threw a wonderful party for me. Then my dad picked me up from school early and we drove to a gas station miles away and I saw my biological mother for the first time since I was 8. My stepdad gave me gifts and I saw my dad signing something on the back of his car and handing it to my biological mother. We eventually got back to my bio mom's house (after a tire flying off the car and spending a night in a hotel room) and got settled. We lived in an old house and they converted the dinning room into a bedroom for me. So in order to get into the kitchen from the front room, they had to come through my room. Every night my stepdad would come by and run my head. Tracing over my hair from the front of my head to the end of my pixie cut hair. At that time I thought that this is what a dad who loves their kid does because my bio dad wasn't that affectionate. 6 months after we got home from the gas station, my stepdad adopted me. Since he was 14 years younger than my mom and only 10 years older than me, it was easy to get along with him. I saw him more as a friend than a father and my bio mom was distant so he'd be the one interacting with me. When I was 12 my bio mom and adoptive father used to check if I brushed my teeth by smelling my breath. My bio mom stopped doing it and asked my adoptive father to do it, so he was the main one that checked my breath. Once he joked about if I were to do it again that he'd kiss me. I told my adoptive father that I wasn't scared of him and he kissed me. The adult activities followed a few days after that. When I was 13, I had a boyfriend who I told that my adoptive father and I did adult things, because I wanted him to know that I knew about that world. My bf (at that time), let's call him Tod, informed me that my aunt needed to hear my stories. So I told her. I remember her face going pale for a moment and then she was back to her normal self. Since I was only at my aunt's house because me and Tod were picking out me a homecoming dress, we got in the car shortly after I told my aunt. She drove us (me and Tod) home and there was a white car there. I got taken into foster care until I was 14 (only spending the beginning of 8th grade in care). I felt so bad for talking about what happened between me and my adoptive father that I recanted what I had said and ended up being placed back in the house with my bio mother and adoptive father. The adult activities continued just a couple weeks after I got home. When I was 16, I ran away with a new bf. That bf got scary aggressive so I messaged my bio mom and told her I needed to come home. She told me she wasn't going to be there if I came back. I didn't believe her because she's lied to me multiple times before. I broke up with him. My adoptive father came to get me and got me back to the house. My bio mom ended up not being there. So for the next couple years, I still went to school, adult activities still continued, alcohol and drugs were introduced, physical violence started, more abusive language came out, and all of that my adoptive father made sure of. I found out I was 3 months pregnant when I was 18. I got kicked out. Keep in mind it was only me and my adoptive father in the house. I ended up getting myself an apartment and was able to make a little money by selling jewelry and crafts I made. All that time, I didn't understand that what he did to me was wrong. So when he showed up to my apartment with flowers and a card for mother's day(even though the baby wasn't born yet), I let him inside. My adoptive father apologized. The cycle started all over again except for the drugs and alcohol because of the baby. I gave birth and couldn't breastfeed so he started smoking green with me. My adoptive father caused a huge fight that cost me my apartment so I moved towns away into a friend's house. We will call her Bee. Bee had dated and had a kid with my brother and we were really close. I knew Bee since early highschool and she knew a lot of what I went through. I made friends there and Bee had my kicked out of their house so me and my first born moved into another friends house. I got beat there so I call my uncle to help me find a place. Unfortunately my uncle didn't know what my adoptive father had done so they showed up to pick me up together. We (me, son, and adoptive father) moved into adoptive grandma's house. The cycle started again. This time he was the only one who was allowed to drink and it was behind doors because Grandma was against it. I didn't even know until after. It was in that house, he disclosed to me that he used to peek through the slats of the wall of the bathroom while I showered when I was 11, and that he was the one to leave the vibrator on the counter for me to find. Adoptive grandma bought me and my adoptive father a house that needed some work on. Adoptive father attacked adoptive grandma so we got evicted and moved into that house alone. The house didn't have electricity or running water, but we were able to stay clean and comfortable because we knew how to survive in that environment, but even I can admit that's no way to live. Drugs and alcohol were common. Adoptive father also gave me(I don't think I have to say in what way) to several of his friends. One night, a friend of Bee's came over and hung out with us after my son fell asleep. The friend had brought alcohol over and we all had a few drinks. Adoptive father because angered and the friend left. My son woke up because of the yelling so I picked him up to comfort him. I should have left him there because what happened next I still hold a lot of hate towards myself for even though my son is perfectly fine now. Adoptive father became more and more upset by the minute so I moved so it'd put space between us. I moved to where there was a table between me and adoptive father. I'm still holding my son at that time. Adoptive father comes rushing towards the table and throws it out of the way. He swung at me and I turned my body thinking that I had to block the blow for hitting my son. I didn't turn quick enough and my son (only 1yrs old) had a red mark on his chest. Adoptive father paused for a moment in shock that he hit the baby and gave me enough time to put the baby down and grab my phone. I started to call my closest friend at that time (who was aware of my life story and was on call whenever I needed a safe place) but adoptive father grabbed my phone, hung up, and held me down until I told him I wouldn't leave the house. I waited until he was asleep and call my friend again. Minutes later me and my baby were in a car heading to safety. The last time I spoke directly to my adoptive father was when I was 21, and that was because he called me and asked if I pressed charges against him for hitting the baby. I told him, no I didn't but his bio dad (who he hated) was the one to talk to the cops and gave them pictures of my bruises. He spent 2 years in prison for assault and that was his third strike at that time. The states attorney found out that I had a child with my adoptive father and called me on the number I gave the cops. 4 years ago they opened a case of incest against him and have filed charges. The trials and sentencing dates have been postponed multiple times and the next courtdate is in July of this year. The last one was supposed to be in April, however the defense attorney was sick. 2 years ago, while I was in a lot of counseling appointments, I finally understood what grooming was and that my childhood and teenage years weren't supposed to happen. At least in a good family, the situations I was put in wouldn't have happened. I found out that my adoptive father married Bee (the friend who had a kid with my brother) and that they had 3 kids together. My brother found out that that couple had beaten my niece and now has full custody of my niece.
I currently live in a home with my kids and bf. I have a job. I have kept up with every court date. I have shown up for every courtdate. Even driving hours to and from the court house because I lived 2 years in a different state. I have done everything in my power to make sure my kids are safe and away from the situation. However I feel like my oldest will need to know who his bio father is eventually. He's only 8yrs old rn. He does resemble his bio father in some ways that are only shown when he's mad or trying to hide something and it scares me every time. I love my kid and I feel horrible everytime my mind sees my adoptive father in my son. My son knows that his biological father is responsible for a scar across his middle finger because his bio father turned on a industrial fan while my son's hand was on it, but that's all he knows about his biological father. How do I go about helping him not turn into the type of person his biological father is? How would I address it later when he has more questions?

This is probably going to be a long post so I'm sorry.
I am pregnant with my first due June 3rd and I just am trying to gather info and hear some perspectives of others to help me come to a decision.
I honestly think I would have had an abortion if it was legal in my state when I found out I was pregnant. I don't think abortion is ideal at all and don't really think elective abortion is ethical beyond the first trimester unless for medical/health reasons or rape/incest, but I only wanted to have a child if I knew I could actually provide for them/have a supportive partner because that's what a child deserves. I just didn't and still haven't known the father of my child very long. We met in July and I got pregnant in September.
I was not on BC because I had never been to an OB/GYN at all in my life at that point. I also kinda assumed it would be hard for me to get pregnant because I have had irregular periods for a long time, but I guess I should have known better. Also I was raised Mormon (exmormon since i was about 21) and my mom never felt the need to take me to an OB/GYN I guess because as Mormons we werent supposed to have sex until marriage and I also remember her basically telling me mormon girls dont go to dr usually til they get married or are having obvious issues. And then i got into an abusive relationship at 21 and he wouldn't let me go to the dr at all and basically scared me about going because he basically told me all the OB/GYNs were perverts (which in retrospect he probably didnt want me to go because 1) he was the real pervert who raped and SA'ed me plus hit me, etc. 2) he probably didnt want to be found out, at my current dr ive seen so many posters about DV)....also when I got eligible for benefits for work, my abuser ex would get mad when I talked about signing up for them. I think because he knew it would take money away from him since I felt obligated to spend all my money on him. He would pick out "luxury" items he wanted to purchase with my paycheck before it even hit my account.
I got the courage to leave my abusive ex in May 2023 after YEARs of not wanting to be there. (Lived with ex and his mom 2016-2023 and he started abusing within the first year) My current partner hid that he has been in active addiction and I didn't really know til I was pregnant. I feel like he could be a lovely partner if he could get his shit together, but so far he has not been able to do so. He can go for a few days sometimes without using, then just goes back to it. I am so exhausted of life in everyway. I have never had bad intentions in life and I just am so tired of feeling like trying so hard and it goes nowhere and I don't understand how other people can just get people in their life that treat them right. It is a curse to be me and try to be a nice person. It just ends up wirh being hurt by others. I feel like how the pregnancy has been is going to be a reflection of how it will be once the baby is born. I want to have a lot of hope in my current partner that he will get better, but I am already hurting so much. Ive been having financial issues again because of his addiction and again I am feeling like I wish I had not went back around people after leaving my ex and just kept to myself. I have realised as an adult why I spent so much time alone in my room as a kid.
I have never felt comfortable talking to my parents for help with anything, since childhood. My mom is a very anxious person and has always made negative comments idk. I feel really hurt as an adult still because of stuff from my childhood idk. I had terrible self esteem growing up and still dont have very good self esteem. I feel like i can't tell her this stuff because she might be offended.
I feel like a horrible person if I give my baby up for adoption because I am so close to having the baby and I already have announced and received gifts for the baby. I already feel like a complete failure in life though and am exhausted by everything and everyone. I don't want to hurt my baby though and I also am worried about adopting my baby out because I dont know for sure if she will end up with good people who will actually take good care of her and not abuse or hurt her. I also dont think i would be comfortable with an open adoption. I guess I would want her to be able to meet me and know who I am if she would like to know, but I don't know if I could handle seeing her regularly as she grows up knowing I had to give her to someone else to take care of it because I couldn't do it.
I really feel like though if I give her up for adoption it really will be the beginning of the end for me. My 20s have been absolutely horrible. I was never properly prepared for life. And I guess either way I will feel bad so it doesnt matter. I already know if I give her up for adoption, I probably will just want to become a recluse and live a meaningless life like so many other people. I will get a new job that is less stressful, make my bf move out and maybe get a completely new place to live because i no longer feel comfortable in this apartment, not talk to family, only talk to people if I have to, and just eat, sleep, pay bills, and watch TV because that is all I have the mental capacity for now. I will do this til I finally rot and die or at least until I can finally have the courage to kill myself. It will be lonely but at least no one will hurt me or judge me anymore or give me constant negative comments and I can maybe have a little bit of peace or mindless numbing at least.

Today illustrated that the Democrats have become America’s cheerleaders, emphasizing how investment in the nation’s infrastructure has created jobs and rebuilt the country. This week, the Biden-Harris administration is touting its investments in rebuilding roads and bridges, making sure Americans have clean water, getting rid of pollution, expanding access to high-speed internet, and building a clean energy economy, contrasting that success with Trump’s eternal announcements of an “Infrastructure Week” that never came.
The White House today announced that it has awarded nearly $454 billion in funding from the Bipartisan Infrastructure Law, including more than 56,000 projects across more than 4,500 communities across the nation. Those include fixing more than 165,000 miles of roads and more than 9,400 bridges and improving more than 450 ports and 300 airport terminals. It has funded more than 1,400 drinking water and wastewater projects and projects to replace up to 1.7 million toxic lead pipes, as well as more than 8,000 low- and zero-emission buses. It has funded 95 previously unfunded Superfund projects to clean up contaminated sites. It has improved the electrical grid and funded 12,000 miles of high-speed internet infrastructure, and exposed internet junk fees.
The White House explained that this investment is making it cheaper to install clean energy technology and lowering families’ monthly energy bills, and highlighted today the available rebates to enable people to take advantage of the new technologies.
On Wednesday, May 8, a report from the Semiconductor Industry Association and the Boston Consulting Group explored the “breathtaking speed,” as the president of the semiconductor organization put it, at which the industry is growing. In the Financial Times on May 9, John Thornhill reported that the CHIPS and Science Act, which provided a $39 billion investment in the semiconductor industry, has “primed a torrent of private sector investment.” With the influx of both federal money and an additional $447 billion of private investment in 83 projects in 25 states, the report forecasts that the U.S. will increase its share of global manufacturing capacity for leading-edge chips from today’s rate of 0% to 28% by 2032. Thornhill compared this investment to that spurred by Russia’s 1957 launch of the Sputnik satellite.
The Economist yesterday announced that the U.S. “is in the midst of an extraordinary startup boom,” and explored “[h]ow the country revived its “go-getting spirit.”
In contrast to the Democrats’ confidence in America, the Republicans are all-in on the idea that the country is an apocalyptic wasteland. At a rally in New Jersey Saturday, Trump announced: “On day one we will throw out Bidenomics and reinstate MAGAnomics.” He promised to extend his 2017 tax cuts for the wealthy and corporations.
But the gist of his speech was an angry, vitriolic picture of a failing nation full of “enemies” that are “more dangerous” than China and Russia and who are “going to destroy our country.” In his telling, the criminal case against him in Manhattan is “bullsh*t,” and President Biden has done more damage than the “ten worst presidents in the history of our country” combined: “[h]e’s a fool; he’s not a smart man…[h]e’s a bad guy…the worst president ever, of any country. The whole world is laughing at him.”
Trump lied that other countries are “emptying out their mental institutions into the United States, our beautiful country. And now the prison populations all over the world are down. They don’t want to report that the mental-institution population is down because they’re taking people from insane asylums and from mental institutions.” Then he riffed into “the late great Hannibal Lecter,” the fictional murderer and cannibal in the film The Silence of the Lambs, apparently to suggest that similar individuals are migrating to the U.S.
House Republicans this week are working to pass a nonbinding resolution to condemn Biden’s immigration policies, although it was Republicans, under orders from Trump, who killed a strong bipartisan immigration bill earlier this year.
The only way to turn back this apocalypse, Trump and his supporters insist, is to put Trump and his team back into the White House. From there, Republicans will return those they consider “real” Americans to power.
The last few days have added new information about what that means. On Thursday, May 9, Senators Katie Britt (R-AL), Marco Rubio (R-FL), and Kevin Cramer (R-ND) introduced the More Opportunities for Moms to Succeed (MOMS) act. Britt—who is best known for her disastrous response to Biden’s State of the Union speech from her kitchen—said the measure would provide a federal database of resources for pregnant women and women parenting young children, but that information excludes anything that touches on abortion.
The measure is clear that it enlists the government in opposition to abortion, but more than that, it establishes that the government will create a database of the names and contact information of pregnant women, which the government can then use “to follow up with users on additional resources that would be helpful for the users to review.”
A government database of pregnant women would give the federal government unprecedented control over individuals, and it is especially chilling after the story Caroline Kitchener broke in the Washington Post on May 3, that a Texas man, Collin Davis, filed a petition to stop his ex-partner from traveling to Colorado, where abortion is legal, to obtain an abortion. Should she do so, his lawyer wrote, he would “pursue wrongful-death claims against anyone involved in the killing of his unborn child.” Now Davis wants to be able to depose his former partner along with others he says are “complicit” in the abortion.
Antiabortion activists are also seeking to make mifepristone and misoprostol, drugs used in many abortions, hard to obtain. In Louisiana, state lawmakers are considering classifying the drugs as “controlled dangerous substances,” which would make possessing them carry penalties of up to ten years in prison and fines of up to $75,000.
More than 240 Louisiana doctors wrote to lawmakers saying that the drugs have none of the addictive characteristics associated with dangerous controlled substances and warning that the drugs are crucial for inducing routine labor and preventing catastrophic hemorrhage after delivery, in addition to their use in abortions. “Given its historically poor maternal health outcomes, Louisiana should prioritize safe and evidence-based care for pregnant women,” the doctors wrote.
Louisiana lawmakers also rejected a bill that would have allowed anyone under age 17, the age of consent in Louisiana, to have an abortion if they became pregnant after rape or incest. Passionate testimony from those who suffered such attacks or who treated pregnant girls as young as 8 failed to convince the Republican lawmakers to support the measure. “That baby [in the womb] is innocent.… We have to hang on to that,” said Republican state representative Dodie Horton.
Today, at the Asian Pacific American Institute for Congressional Studies, a nonpartisan, nonprofit organization promoting Asian American and Native Hawaiian/Pacific Islander participation and representation at all levels of the political process, Vice President Kamala Harris encouraged young people to innovate and to move into spaces from which they have been traditionally excluded.
“So here’s the thing about breaking barriers,” she said. “Breaking barriers does not mean you start on one side of the barrier and you end up on the other side. There’s breaking involved. And when you break things you get cut. And you may bleed. And it is worth it every time…. We have to know that sometimes people will open the door for you and leave it open. Sometimes they won’t. And then you need to kick that f*cking door down.”
Harris’s advice reflects the history that happened on this date in 1862, when the enslaved mariners on board the shallow-draft C.S.S. Planter gathered up their families, fired up the ship’s boilers, and sailed out of the Charleston, South Carolina, harbor. The three white officers of the ship had gone ashore, leaving enslaved 23-year-old pilot Robert Smalls to take control. Smalls knew how to steer the ship and give the proper signals to the Confederates at Fort Sumter, Fort Moultrie, and three other checkpoints.
Smalls piloted the Planter, the sixteen formerly enslaved people on it, and a head full of intelligence about the Confederate fortifications at Charleston to the U.S. Navy. In Confederate hands, the Planter had surveyed waterways and laid mines; now that information was in U.S. hands. Smalls went on to pilot naval vessels during the war, and in 1864 he bought the house formerly owned by the man who had enslaved him.
A natural leader, Smalls went on to become a businessman, politician, and strong advocate for education. After serving in the 1868 South Carolina Constitutional Convention that made school attendance compulsory and provided for universal male suffrage, he went on to serve in the South Carolina legislature from 1868 to 1874, when he was elected to the U.S. House of Representatives, where he served until 1887. When President Barack Obama signed an executive order establishing the nation’s first national monument concerning Reconstruction, he cited the life of Robert Smalls.
—
Notes:
https://newjerseymonitor.com/2024/05/12/trump-brings-2024-campaign-to-the-jersey-shore/
https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a60774814/trump-rally-new-jersey-weird-speech/
https://www.britt.senate.gov/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/MOMS-Act_FINAL-Britt_Rubio_Cramer1.pdf
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/article/2024/may/11/katie-britt-proposes-federal-database-to-collect-data-on-pregnant-people
https://www.washingtonpost.com/investigations/2024/05/03/texas-abortion-investigations/
https://lailluminator.com/2024/05/08/rape-incest/
https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2024/05/13/abortion-pills-louisiana-controlled-substance/
https://www.economist.com/finance-and-economics/2024/05/12/america-is-in-the-midst-of-an-extraordinary-startup-boom
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2024/05/13/fact-sheet-biden-harris-administration-kicks-off-infrastructure-week-by-highlighting-historic-results-spurred-by-president-bidens-investing-in-america-agenda/
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2024/05/13/fact-sheet-president-bidens-investing-in-america-agenda-is-helping-american-families-across-the-country-save-money/
https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/icymi-the-great-american-innovation-engine-firing-again
https://www.ft.com/content/0d39e8f0-38ba-40aa-8ec8-d04e82afb690
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/08/us/politics/chips-grants-fuel-industry-growth.html
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/05/11/trump-rally-new-jersey-trial-fascists-00157482
https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/the-press-office/2017/01/12/presidential-proclamations-establishment-reconstruction-era-national
https://www.nps.gov/people/robert-smalls.htm
Twitter (X):
cspan/status/1790048826440503495
Fritschnestatus/1790051154887340473
rosiewestwood/status/1788291766866567439
CecileRichards/status/1789020452855140723
https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/p/may-13-2024

Slutty Sister Has Her Brother Locked For Life (non-con, forced chastity, bondage, punishment)
Part 1
The keyholder nurse gave me instructions and explained everything after it was all over. My family had told me that I was a sex pervert and I was "being dealt with". I knew I was in trouble, but I was a young man, only 18 and I didn't understand what was going on. No one had told me anything after the hearing.
Mom drove me to an odd building, led me to a secure room and left. A young nurse told me to undress. I was totally naked. An older woman in scrubs and a man entered. They strapped my arms and legs down to a cold steel table. The nurse offered the woman a syringe, but she declined and said "No, I want this creep to feel it".
It all started a month ago. I lived with my mom and sister, dad was gone. My sister was 19, with a tight body and medium sized, perky tits. Mom was thick, curvy, with giant tits. Both recently got their naval's pierced with matching studs. Neither had boyfriends, but they were very promiscuous. We lived in a mobile home with thin walls, so I could hear them getting fucked often.
I made some mistakes. First, my sister caught me peeping on her in the shower and told mom. Then, two of her "friends" came over for sex. They took turns on her. She got very loud. After they left, I went in her room. She covered herself, but I saw her pussy and stomach first. There were small puddles of cum around her pantyline, and some more of it leaking out of her. I told her I was still a virgin and asked if I could "go next" on her. She yelled "get out" and told mom when she got home from work.
The third incident was more serious they said. Mom would sometimes drink and pass out. I'd never felt tits before and hers were so enticing. She had some drinks and went to bed. I snuck in. She was asleep, uncovered, wearing a gown. I grabbed her heaving boobs. Then I took one of my hands off her chest and pulled the gown above her waist, exposing her. I slid my hand between her legs and rubbed her pussy. She woke up and caught me. She was pissed. The next day my sister told me they had turned me in and there would be a hearing.
So I knew why I was on the metal table, but I didn't know what was next. I couldn't see, there was a drape at my waist. It started with gloves and cold metal on my genitals, then clamping, pinching, pulling, and eventually a sharp puncturing pain near my balls. I begged them to stop, but they did it 2 more times, once on my cock. Finally a metal device was brought out. I could feel it being slid on, clamped down, tightened, then locked. "All done" they said and left. The young nurse stayed behind.
She removed the drape and released the straps. I inspected the "device". My cock and balls had been fed through a steel ring that tightly encircled them at the base. It was secured to a piercing just above my taint and another at the top. My penis was locked in a tight steel "cage" with a hole at the end for pissing. The head had been pierced and a metal bar went through me as extra security. It wasn't going anywhere. The whole thing was super tight.
"What is this?" I asked.
She explained. "It's your chastity device. Your genitals have been locked up. At the hearing, your mother and sister requested that you be put in chastity. The safety council asked them how long they thought would be appropriate and both wanted you locked forever. Since the incidents involved incest, the council agreed. Your penis is locked for life. I'm your keyholder nurse. I will help with adjustments, cleanings, draining your balls, and anything else needed for chastity".
"When do I get to take off?" I said.
She answered, "You're locked forever. So you wont get to take it off. They have to keep you locked so your sister is safe and to punish you for what you did to your mom. You wont be able to have sex or force anyone. Since you can't masturbate, your balls might swell, so you will see me every other month to drain them, do a deep cleaning, and tighten your cage, if necessary.
--------------------------------XXX--------------------------------

Part 2

The room was cold. My keyholder nurse was a cute twenty-something. A name tag with "Beverly" was pinned above her perky boobs. Her scrub top was tight around her chest. I could see the shape of her breasts and her hard nipples pressing againt the fabric. I stared and my cage got tighter. She noticed and grinned slightly.
I got back to business, "Can I appeal or get parole or something? What happens next?"
She answered, "Sorry, no appeals for chastity. There is parole, but not for incest cases. What you did is considered extremely disgusting, so they deemed you a "most extreme pervert". Incest offenders get more severe penalties and no parole. I'm not supposed to be judgemental, but you're my first incest case and it sounded really awful at your hearing. It's hard to believe creeps as bad as you even exist, who rubs their own mom's pussy? This case is really bad, so I'm gonna go harder on you than my other guys. I hope it was worth it. So here's what's next...your mother and sister are entitled to a final inspection of your genitals, then you'll go directly to prison to be processed and locked up in the chastity unit."
I was confused and responded with frustration, "I can't believe this is happening to me. I just got too horny seeing the girls dressed like sluts and listening to them getting fucked all the time. After seeing my sisters cum-filled pussy, I lost control and slipped up. If she just gave me sloppy seconds, I wouldn't have done all that to mom....What do you mean prison?!?!"
She responded, bursting with excitement, "Dont worry, you'll learn your lesson! OH! I see they didn't tell you about prison yet, since you were a rush case. Chastity is just an add-on to your prison sentence as an extra penalty and to keep everyone safe. Let me look at your file to see how much time you'll serve."
Looking at her tablet, she smiled big and replied, "I've never gotten to do this before! Most guys hear about their sentence before they get to me...Ok, so they actually got you taken care of pretty good here. It got split up into multiple counts, so fortunately, they were able to put you away for a long time."
She continued, "Your sister had you convicted on two charges, one for the shower incident and one for the bedroom incident. You got two more for mom, one for groping her tits and another for going between her legs. I'll read them off...
Count 1, Incestual peeping, sentence: 1 year special confinement
Count 2, Incestual peeping with propositioning, sentence: 1.5 years special confinement
Count 3, 2nd Degree Incestual Sexual Battery, 2 years special confinement
Ok and here's the big one! For touching mom's pussy...
Count 4, 1st Dregee Incestual Sexual Battery, 4.5 years RIGOROUS confinement in the SCU-I, (Special Chastity Unit, Incest wing), with intensive perversion correction."
So you'll do nine years total, with the first four-and-a-half in the incest wing."
I was completely shocked, "Nine years!? Are you serious? What's special confinement? Am I going to regular prison or what?
Beverely explained, "Special confinement means you'll be put in the chastity unit. It's a separate level for inmates that have their genitals locked, like rapists and other perverts. It's a little different. The cells are super small, you don't get any privileges like TV, and you stay locked in your cell for 23 hours a day. But don't worry. Most of my guys are in the chastity unit. They all want out really bad, but they're fine. Some eventually leave for regular population if their sentence allows, but you'll actually just be finishing up in the main chasity unit after you're done with rigororous confinement for the first four-and-a-half. You'll start off in the incest wing".
"What is all that? I asked
Beverly explained further, "It's a big deal. That's why I got so excited when I read your sentence on count 4. It wasn't just the amount of time you got, but what'll be happening to you that makes it a heavy one. I've heard it's very extreme. Since you're my first incest case, I'm not as familiar with it, but I've heard you're basically caged up 24/7 and pretty much treated like an animal. I'm not sure if you even get a toilet or a bed. You only leave your cage once every two weeks for perversion correction, which I might get to assist with, and you'll get another device I've heard about, called the "silver bullet". I think it's an anal device? You'll learn more about that when you get there. Oh! Looks like it's time to get you ready for inspection."
The door opened as she left and two female guards entered. One had a tazer. They led me to another table. This one had wheels. I sat on the edge. One grabbed my ankles and another tried to push me on my back. I resisted, trying to spin off the table. I was immediately tazed, then sedated, imobilizing me. "This will be easier for if you just comply" she said. I was on my back again. My ankles were lifted toward my head, folding my legs over me. Thick zip ties were placed around my ankles and calfs. My hands and forearms were looped through both, then "zzzzzzzztttt", it was all cinched down tight, securing my arms to my legs. A bar was secured between my knees, keeping me exposed. Beverly came back in. One of the guards said "He's all yours hon" as they left.
"Let's get you cleaned up" Beverly said. "Your mom and sister are on their way and they're excited to see your private parts all locked up for good.
She put gloves on, then approached the table, placing one hand over my nose. I opened my mouth and she shoved a gag in and secured it around my head. "This is just a temporary gag. Your sister didn't want you talking during inspection. I believe you'll get more securely gagged and muzzled when you get to processing. I've heard the guys don't get solid food in the incest wing, you get fed a liquid diet, like that soylent stuff, that you'll take through a drinking tube in your gag. It's really amazing how good they have you incest perverts locked up over there. I can't wait to see you like that.
She started the cleaning by soaping and lathering around my crotch, exposed parts were shaved. She walked away, coming back with a tube and a bag full of fluid that she hung from a pole. The label read "Enema". Beverly explained, "Gotta clean you inside and out. First I'll get you lubed up". She grabbed a metal syring, inserted the tip in my ass, and injected me with lube. At the end of enema tube, there was a detachable nozzle with two inflatable bulbs. One was forced in my ass and both were inflated, locking it in place. I could see the tube going from the bag to inside me. I felt like I was being treated like an animal already. She turned a valve, the fluid began flowing and filled me up. She set a timer for 35 minutes, and sat on her stool, reading cosmo. After an agonizing wait, she removed the nozzle plug, allowing me to release. Finally, thank goodness. I was soaped up again and rinsed. She cleaned up the enema nozzle plug, added more lube, and shoved it back1 inside me. "Putting this back in so we dont have any potential leaks" she said, as she inflated it. She disconnected the outside end of the inflatable nozzle where it attached to the longer enema tube, clamped it off, and let go of it. I felt it bounce around as it settled. "You're all set" she exclaimed.
I was wheeled on the cart-like table through a long, busy hallway to a different room for inspection. I could feel the protruding nozzle plug in my ass flop around as the cart moved. The other employees stared as I went by, a few smiled with satisfaction. How humiliating I thought. I heard murmuring. "Bitchtied pervert getting what he deserves!" one girl said angrily.
Finally in the inspection room, I waited. The door opened, Beverly entered with two blondes behind her, my mom and my sister. The two gorgeous sluts were dressed similar. My mom was wearing tight, denim, high waisted shorts that displayed her ass and curvy hips, they were pulled-up high in a way that you could see the denim tight against her twat. My sister came dressed in super short spandex yoga shorts, tight ones that lifted her already firm butt into perfection. Both wore crop tops with their stomachs and matching naval piercings exposed. Images of my sister's sloppy pussy flashed in my head, my cock and balls both swelled. I stared at their bodies and let out a loud, desperate moan as my cage grew excruciatingly tight.
Part 3 to follow...

It's not a personal request We need discord community of incest supporters I just created one where (No selling or buying! All free) With channels like, Candid , Rate my mom, Advices or dares, Comics or videos categories!,
Invite link : https://discord.com/invite/Z67qXff3 Invite as many incest lovers as you can!

I really don't know what to flair this as. My mom did weird things to us/made us eat weird things because she was a "health nut." For a time we had juice in our cereal instead of milk. It was disgusting. I'm sure I tried to eat it dry but I wasn't allowed. I have tons of sensory issues with food now. Go figure.
My mom would give me and my sisters enemas. I have one memory of it when I was four but I know it happened multiple times. I remember my sisters and I protesting but my mom wasn't afraid to use physical violence to control someone. The "rule" was that if you didn't go #2 at school, you get an enema that day. I wonder how many times my mom did that to me as a little four year old and older. To my sisters. They were older so they got the idea to lie and say they had gone that day at school. I got left behind in that regard. I wasn't smart enough to lie and I'm not sure how much of this happened when I was stuck at home and out of school.
I feel weird and totally detached thinking about it. It came up and I was like...that was...seriously fucked up. Who penetrates their kid over and over like that. A part of me is saying I was assaulted. Another part says that's invalidating to victims of sexual assault. Idk how to feel. When I was institutionalized a lady kept pulling me aside and asking me if I'd been rxped. I told her no. Because I haven't. But it made me realize how shut down I was by 7th grade. But how do you explain this? It's not rxpe. But it's the non consensual penetration of a child over and over. I'm not sure what physical violence was involved then. All I know is that when I fought back violence happened. I can only really remember things clearly after I was 6/7. I'm not sure how long it went on for. I'd ask my sisters but I'd rather not bring it up.
One part of me feels like this offensive to share. The other is alone and desperate for help. I've never spoken about this with anyone but my sisters. The last time it was brought up (idk when, long ago) they kind of laughed it off. Probably because they found ways to escape. Or it's to cope. Idk. I've never been able to laugh it off.
Is there a name for this kind of abuse? Ive heard of covert incest but idk if that fills that category. Idt there was anything sexual behind it but I could be wrong.
Edit: thanks so much for your empathetic and understanding responses. It's helping me not fall apart. I know it sounds corny but this subreddit has really helped me. If you're reading this I hope you find peace and joy in your life.

TW: Suicide, Mental Illness, SA, Porn Addiction, Abuse, Pedophilic Thoughts.
Hi, this post is going to be insanely long post as I am gonna go over a lot of things in detail throughout my life. I am going to premise this with a very important disclaimer: I am not looking to be the victim. I am not trying and do not want to make you feel bad for me. Things I saw will end up sounding like attention-seeking and victim mentality, but please know that no matter how much it sounds like that, that is not my intention. I'm basically going to go through my entire life story, so buckle up.
We'll start at the beginning of my life in 2005. I'm born and have an older sister, who is still my only blood sibling. At 3 years old I experience my first traumatic events that I can remember. I start hiding in the bathroom whenever my parents fight, and after a fight, I try lightening the mood by dancing in a goofy manner, but I end up falling and slashing a big hole in my knee and have to go to the hospital. At 4 years old my parents get divorced, and my dad moves in with his girlfriend. I vaguely remember crying as he took his last suitcase out the door. I also start pre school at this time, and my parents start realizing I have mental issues. I get tested and come up with ADHD and autism. I hate loud noises, get overstimulated, hate fire, and can be very irritable. At 5 I do my second year of pre school, because my parents feel I wasn't socially ready. I did competitive cherr with my sister which was fun, except for a mean teammate and an unsupportive father. At 6 I start kindergarten, and have more traumatic events. I doodle on my paper and get yelled at by my very menacing teacher, which just stuck with me for some reason as I am very sensitive to arguments and such. I start having my first memories of being abused by my mom. She wasn't beating me but she would slap me, grab me, push me, and she threw my sister down the hall one time. At 7, I have the same types of memories, but good ones too. My sister starts getting in on the abuse and hitting me too. Her and mom start fighting all the time. And this is where my first sign of real issues shows up. My aunt babysat me after school every wednesday whike my parents worked their jobs. I was scrolling on my old chunky laptop and came across it. Gay porn. It was two men on a bed doing some sort of act. Im confused but cant stop watching. My aunt eventually comes in and puts an end to it, berating me. But I start getting worse. I keep looking it up on my tablet and getting caught by my dad and mom, and even get caught looking up how to end myself. I get the same talk that it wasn't good or whatever. And one time, I even tried getting my 2 year old nephew to "lick it" because I didnt think there was anything wrong with that. The next few years, the same trends become increasingly worse, and my parents also gave up trying to get me to eat healthy because of my picky eating habits due to the autism. I became overweight and no longer did any sports. I have a few more traumatic memories of my mom hitting me or destroying my stuff and making me clean it up. My porn addiction becomes worse. I start getting exposed to things like incest and beastiality. I also start having my first experiences with pedophiles. I was taught by another kid how to masturbate on xbox. And got into a party with someone else. They were atleast in their mid to late teens and possible older. They convinced me to teach them how to masturbate aswell. My addiction got worse and I would masturbate multiple timed a day at a very young age. I started hiding things from everyone. I started actually being attracted to the incest porn I was seeing so often and got into the taboo of it. As I got older I started fighting with myself, begging myself to fix my issues before it became to late, but I didn't listen. I started hiding my porn addiction really well and kept letting myself get groomed. I would show myself to pedos on omegle because I thought it felt good to get the attention. A 16 year old told my 12 year old self to send a booty pic, and I did, but blocked him immediately after. When I got into 7th grade I also started getting corrupted by public porn, and started masturbating at school. I was being bullied for my weight, and being smelly by that point, and was just so fucked up and never got help. If I ever talked to someone, I'd just lie and water down so everyone would think I was fine. In 8th grade I got bullied really bad, but covid ended that early luckily. I never masturbated in class again after this. This is where it gets worse, again. I become so deprived of human contact and addicted to sex, that I start sneaking videos of my father in the bathroom after his showers. To note, I don't have an amazing relationship with him. He was always very intimidating and bad at controlling his temper. Never good at having conversations either, so I've since closed myself off to him. I kept taking pictures of him, and eventually, started sneaking pictures of people I found either attractive, or even people that didn't repulse me. This included strangers, classmates, teachers, etc. I started really internally fighting with myself at this point. I hated myself. Who I had become. I tried and tried to make myself stop and become healthier, working out, watching else porn, trying to delete pictures I took of others, but to no avail. I eventually on rare occasions, masturbated to beastiality porn. I always felt so disgusted before, during, and after. These always felt like intrusive thoughts that I was acting on, but I didn't know that was actually the case until much later. I also starting convincing my grandpa to show me what it "felt like" as a 15 year old, until at 17 in 2023, he eventually coerced me into doing it to him, which I can't tell if it's SA or a taste of my own medicine, since I was a minor. I'm gonna go back to 2022. My sister's husband, who I consider my only brother, committed suicide. I was devastated. All i ever wanted was a brother, but I decided it wasnt meant to be. A few months later, I saw a cute guy at a local fair near my house, and feel deeply in love. I didn't masturbate or even look at porn for an entire week. I could not think of him sexually at all. Until eventually, the effect wore out. I started becoming addicted again, and also became to overbearing to the guy I was in love with because I texted him too much. He was 28 and I was 17, and he had no idea I actually liked him. This crushed me too, and the school year started soon after. I started imagining him and his friends withbme wherever I went and stalked his page constantly. I couldn't stop thinking about him. Later on in thar school year, I fucked up with both of the friend groups I was in, and lost them all. The rest of the year passed by slowly, but it still ended up okay. Now onto this school year, my senior year. I come back to school and no matter what I do, I can't get myself to stop. And a few months into the year, I finally get caught. I get suspended and don't come back for a few days. I get bullied as expected and lay low. My mom takes my phone and deletes everything, and I eventually tell her most of what I've said here. I relapse occasionally and watch certain porn that I feel guilty about, or snap a pic of someone. Luckily, I finally deleted everything myself and never took a picture of someone or watched beastiality again, and will continue that path. My current consensus is that I'm a classic case of a kid who never had a support system, which led me to making bad decisions, and just never stopped and got worse. I also now have been diagnosed with OCD, Anxiety, and depression. I was always big on recording and taking pictures of everything memorable, which contributed to this. I also have very intense intrusive thoughts which are still unmedicated. When I took that first picture of someone I thought was attractive, I felt disgusted with myself for months. But the thoughts got stronger and stronger, and I did it again to make them go away, until eventually they got more often and consistent. I myself don't want people to be uncomfortable. I hate people that do stuff like that, and I wouldn't wish the feeling on anybody. No matter how many times I tried to push the thoughts away, or stop what I was doing, I couldn't. I lost all self control. The good part of me wants to help people, make them feel safe, loved, and attended for, but that side lost the fight. My morals were completely washed away over the years as my thoughts worsened, and I kept doing what I could to appease them. I consider the thoughts another being inside of me. It's super powerful and no matter how much I try to push against it, it always wins eventually. I got prescribed meds and picked them up today to help with the thoughts, and I hope it works. I found out this is called Purity OCD, which is when you have intrusive thoughts, and eventually give in and act on them to get them to go away. I also have Brain Loop Syndrome, which is when you get into a bad behavior, and want nothing but out, and physically cannot do it. I also want to clarify again that I am not looking for sympathy. I'll take any questions or advice on where to go from here. I've been telling myself that I deserve to be tortured, raped, and killed, or to burn in hell if I end myself. Again, not for sympathy/victimization. People I've told about the situation in real life keep saying "well it's not like you committed a serious crime, lots of people are curious and many take pics but are afraid to admit it" but I feel like that doesn't make it any better?? It's still weird and wrong. But anyways, I'm open to any questions or comments about this, if you want to just comment "ky$" or "I hate you" I understand, it's totally valid. I just needed to say it, get some advice and answer questions. Have a good night ya'll.
Quick edit before the comments start coming in: Apologies for the long read btw. I also wanted to say if you're ever experiencing negative thoughts regarding anything I stated here, or have any issues in general, PLEASE SEEK HELP. Do not do what I did. More people will understand you than you believe. You are not as alone as you think. Please don't let it get to this point!! Ans also yes guys there is a few more little traumatic events or whatever sprinkled in there that are probably important but I think you guys get the gist.

My family and I (24F) found out at the end of last summer, around the beginning of August that my cousin (25F) is actually my sister. Three DNA tests confirmed it. A little back story for you- this has been a “joke” in my dad’s side of the family for my whole life. Mostly coming from him. “What if __ is really your sister? laughs I’m just kidding there’s no way.” Always those types of jokes. I never thought anything about it because she looks SO much like my uncle, but my dad and him look very similar. Also her birthday and my birthday are so close that my dad would’ve had to of cheated on my mom when they FIRST met. Okay. Now to why I thing incest is going on. She started talking to my dad pretty often in August, they did the first test (23 & Me) came back as my half sister. She lived in a different state at that time (August 2023). There’s talk about her trying to plan a trip up to “meet” us all (even though she’s met us all before???) with her fiancé that she had been with for about 6-7 months. Every time it was gonna happen it didn’t. Early September she finds out she’s pregnant. Late September, she finds out she had a miscarriage. She says she needs support bc she has none in the state she’s in. (At that time she lived with her mom and step dad and her two kids, I know her mom, she can be the hovering type but she is VERY OPENLY supportive of her) So she comes to visit for a weekend. They’re at the grocery store (my dad, half sister, my full blood brother, and her fiance) she said she “lost the rest of the baby” now I’ve been lucky enough to never have to experience a miscarriage so I don’t know how that works. She leaves on Sunday. Comes back again the next weekend. Goes home again that Sunday. The next time she came, she didn’t leave. She moved in that quickly. Left her kids with her mom, and said she wanted to build a better life for them. Good for her! After she moves in, the whole house shifted. Mind you, she did move in with her fiancé. There was tension everyday. Arguments way more often than ever in this house not just between her and her finance, but everybody (in the house was:my step-mom, the fiance, my dad, my brother, my half sister, me, my boyfriend, and my 5 kids) They start sitting hip to hip. Not too weird. Then she started following him everywhere. Like to the point where he got up to go to the bathroom, and she followed and stood by the door until he was finished. Then they start holding hands. Openly btw. My step mom confronts that, he says that (we’ll call her A) A, just needs someone, she wants him to make her feel loved, and protected. Whenever they would leave, it was always just them and my brother or just them. Her fiance NEVER went with them ANYWHERE. He started thinking there was someone else because they weren’t having sex, she didn’t want to be around him, wasn’t affectionate, barely talked to him. Weird thing is those same things were happening to my dad and step mom’s relationship of 12 years. December comes, and they’re “staying up so late” they fall asleep on the couch, her head on his lap, or shoulder, him sitting upright. Then it upgrades to them spooning on the couch. Then they start sleeping in my brothers room (he slept in the living room for a while before he started letting them sleep in there, I don’t remember the reason but he is 23). So they start sleeping in my brothers room. So the set up at that point was, my dad and A in one room, my brother in the living room, step mom in what used to be my dad and her room, the fiance on the third floor in what used to be his and A’s room, me and my family in the basement (it’s finished and there’s more room down here). Around Christmas, we find out she’s pregnant. The only people that knew were: me, my boyfriend, my brother and my dad. She didn’t want the fiance to know because she was planning on leaving him in a week from then, and she didn’t want our step mom to know because she didn’t want her to tell the fiance. I thought it was immediately weird, given the sleeping arrangements. So a week goes by, she goes to her old town to get her other daughter (court order—not gonna go into details w/ that) but the fiancé stays home for only the 2nd time. They make these trips every weekend, it was all 3 of them up until about the second week of December ‘23. She breaks up with him, and he comes down to my room, and is bawling. Like, I’ve never seen a man cry like that. He goes on to say that they havent been the same in months, there has to be somebody else she doesn’t love him anymore. We talk with him, try to comfort him, say our goodbyes and then he goes to get some things from our garage. My bf follows him, and the finance ends up saying either: they haven’t had sex at all since the miscarriage in September’23 OR they haven’t had much sex since the miscarriage in September ‘23. So he moves back to his home town, and then they come home on Sunday like they always do. Except this time, they start sleeping in A’s OLD bedroom. The one her and the fiancé shared. Even more privacy. Fast forward to now. They’re still sleeping in that bedroom, she has sex toys in her night stand (I thought she stole a hair claw from me so I went snooping, I know invasion of privacy but she had the EXACT hair claw that I had, and mine was missing), my dad waits on her, gets her food, drinks etc. He’s been to every single baby appointment she’s had (I did confront him abt this because I have 5 kids and he’s NEVER been to ANY of my OBGYN appointments or ultrasounds for them, his reasoning for going with her is that she has nobody up here), he asked my brother if THEY could take over his room again when she’s has the baby which is September. (Which makes the conceived month, December), He stopped making comments to me about wearing a tank top or shorts. He used to say something along the lines of “you look like a hooker” or “put more clothes on” now, nothing. My step-mom got sick and is in a nursing home now, and has been for over a month and he still hasn’t went back to his bedroom. He washes their clothes (in my head, what 48y/o dad would be washing/touching his 25y/o daughter’s bras, and underwear? He’s never done my laundry, and him and my step mom always did their own). I don’t think ITA for thinking these things, but I’m wondering what others would think if they were in this situation I guess.
Edit: I forgot to add, when they started sleeping in my brothers room I went in there to wrap presents for my kids. My dad had a white t shirt on the bed, and I picked it up. As I did that, the shirt unstuck itself. Clearly some “bodily fluids” (don’t know how explicit I can get but yes probably what you’re thinking). I told my brother, he IMMEDIATELY called my dad and confronted him. My dad said that it was indeed that, BUT he was in there alone. (Why are you doing that in your son’s room?) then he asked who knew. Brother told him just him, even though him, my step mom and myself knew. Then my dad said not to tell anybody else. This phone call was on the car radio on their weekend trip to her hometown. Completely fooled my brother, and since then if anything like that is talked about my dad in front of my brother, he gets super defensive IMMEDIATELY.