How much does mikey teutul make

Dividend Investing

2009.01.30 19:41 Dividend Investing

A community by and for dividend growth investors. Let's make money together!
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2009.07.28 21:59 Outside: The free-to-play MMO, on reddit

> A subreddit for *Outside*, a free-to-play MMORPG with 8 billion+ active players. ---- *Currently NOT looking for other moderators* ---- > **Guide to good comments/submissions:** >1. Remember, *it's not a bug, it's a feature*. It's a lot more fun to explain something if it isn't written off as a bug. >2. There are no NPCs. Aside from animals, everybody is a "player". >3. The devs are lazy and rarely do much. The game is mostly balanced as it is according to them, th
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2010.02.19 17:00 sketchampm Rabbits: the intelligent, loving, and often misunderstood pet

/rabbits is an open community where users can learn, share cute pictures, or ask questions about rabbits. Please note we are a *pet rabbit* community that discourages breeding and encourages rescue.
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2024.05.14 21:32 Alternative_Essay43 Backing Up Versus Syncthing

There are 3X servers total - 1X Main at parents house for their needs, 1X main at my house for our needs, and 1X archive brick at my house for "cold" storage of the most important data from the 2X main servers.
I've tried Luckybackup and could not get it to function correctly. The question is, am I better off as a novice with limited time to toy with a 'homelab' just utilizing Syncthing to talk between servers and physical locations of those servers?
Changes made to shares aren't ever large, but are frequent so I would have Syncthing set for hourly for change checks. All I care about is redundancy (all 3X servers have 2X parity drives):
My Main (Critical data) Parents Main
Parents Main (Critical and Non-critical data) My Main
My Main + Parents Main (Critical data only) Cold Storage (receive only server)
*cue the Spiderman meme*
Does all this pointing make sense? Asking because I'm overthinking the situation it seems.
For 'My Main' it will have music/TV/movies which will all be considered non-critical to avoid burning up too much space on the other two servers. This media is already managed by Plex and
How do I best (and mainly easily for a low level user) tunnel Syncthing between locations?
Side quest/s:
I would eventually like my phone to backup automatically, and whenever it's full (because apparently leaving microSD slots in phones cut into cloud revenue too much) remove the oldest files which are already stored on my server. Or am I better off just periodically manually backing up my phone?
After trying to get Nextcloud to work I'd rather carve my own eyes out. A simple cloud option or way to access my shares remotely any time would be much appreciated.
For photo management, I have PhotoPrism....but am considering Immich. Which is less complicated to setup for remote access/backup? Is a cloud setup possible without screwing with code and Portainer?
submitted by Alternative_Essay43 to unRAID [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 21:31 UrCarsXtndedWrrnty Coup in Norinath in Valenar?

Still early in my groups new campaign, basically pitched as "Firefly in Eberron". Having trouble from time to time with coming up the the story or interesting missions, but not too bad, and so far so good.
So far, the group was introduced using their airship to steal a cargo car from a lightning rail, finding out the gold they were stealing belonged to the Aurum (as well as a weird little magical golden astrolabe) and their employers (Boromar Clan) wouldn't dare touch it, and almost no one else would.
They found some surface level info on the Aurum, and found a House D'Phiarlan "Escort"/Dancer who offered to fence the gold if they transported some Refugees from Sharn to Valenar.
Lots of Shenanigans on the trip. One of the Refugees, the sister of the escort, turned out to be a doppelganger. Another refugee (a house Cannith) artificer was killed hy the doppelganger. They found out the weird astrolabe connects to their ship and acts as a sort of Ai assistant. And they arrived at Norinath in Valenar.
I tried to leave hooks for where they could go. They rolled really good checks during the trip, so the ship wasn't damaged from the doppelgangers sabotage, so no need to go to Q'barra to get Dragonshards, or negotiate with the Elves for Soarwood. They don't see much gold/reward in escorting the Halfling Family they transported to their home in the talenta plains. The Karrnathi Warmage/NecromanceVeteran they transported is heading home, and they briefly considered helping, but only as a backup if the Elves in Valenar won't pay them well for the gold they stole originally. They figure otherwise the Karrnathi warm age doesn't have a suitable reward to make it interesting.
They did find a journal on the Cannith Artificer, and I mentioned a location he was going to in the Mournland, and something he was trying to recover. I left some details very vague, so a lot to work with, but I am not sure what I would do here.
I did have the idea that the start of next session, as the Refugees are resting in town to set off on their next journeys, and the PCs are resting and looking to negotiate their reward, it would be interesting if something went wrong. That they either refuse to pay, or can't because they are being held hostage? The situation when Utapua was held hostage in Revenge of the Sith came to mind as something interesting. I also remember reading through the Politics of Valenar from the DMs guild, and seeing a blurb avout Yuan Ti working their way trying to secretly take over the town for their own purposes. Maybe this could be interesting? Or Karrnathi Spies? Or agents of Q'barra? Or elves of House Thuranni who resent the Elves of Valenar and Phiarlan?
Idk, those who've played in eberron for a while, or just players in general, does this make sense? Does any of it sound interesting? DMs, how would you run something like this, or does it just seem pointless?
submitted by UrCarsXtndedWrrnty to Eberron [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 21:30 popsfootloose949 New MVS Speculation: Boomerang Theory

Credit to MultiverSusie on Twitter for pointing this out initially!
On May 28th and 29th, Boomerang will be airing specific programming for the launch of MultiVersus. Breaking down the Adventure Time episodes alone clued me into the fact that these episodes seem HIGHLY relevant for future speculation. Let's call this "Boomerang Theory."
The Rules for Boomerang Theory
Even though clues may be present for properties like Looney Tunes, Popeye, and Scooby-Doo, I personally consider it to be unlikely to come to any informed speculation regarding shows that air on Boomerang daily. There are some exceptions,, but for right now I am only focusing in on the shows specifically coming to Boomerang for the event.
Shows #1-2: Taz-Mania and Duck Dodgers
Movie #1: Aloha, Scooby-Doo!
Movie #2: Scooby-Doo! & Batman: The Brave and the Bold
Show #3: Teen Titans Go!
Show #4: Adventure Time - SPOILERS!
Show #5: Steven Universe - SPOILERS!
submitted by popsfootloose949 to MultiVersus [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 21:28 avpd_squirrel Jack of all trades, master of none

Does anyone else sometimes finds themselves just googling and copy-pasting solutions from stackoverflow? Debugging errors without thinking too much but rather just pasting the error into search bar or AI assistant? Running commands without fully understanding what they do? Hopelessly reading page after page until you find someone with the same problem and a solution?
I know it's nothing new. There are many memes around it and anyone who ever coded or configured any new software know exactly what I am talking about.
However, now as a working professional with master degree in CS and multiple years of experience as a software engineer I came to conclusion that my job would be much more enjoyable if I was more confident in what I am doing. If I could be expert in the technology I work with. I ask myself why does it have to be this way.
I believe it's related to the job market and employers expectations. In other fields, people specialize much more. For example dentists learn how to treat teeth and they can work their whole life treating teeth without worrying they will be asked to perform a hearth surgery at any point.
Software engineering is different. You see jobs that requires knowledge of backend, frontend, database, cloud, linux and optionally ML. Not to mention each of these are huge areas on their own.
Why can't I just become expert in Java, learn its libraries, frameworks and build tools in details and be hired? And work with team of people who would handle other things? I guarantee the product would be much better and all people involved would be less stressed at work.
But no. IT companies, the most valuable companies in the world with insane profit margins can't afford to pay more people.
They can't afford to lose time either. Everything needs to be done fast. Suppose you encounter some new technology that you need to use in work and you are not familiar with. In other fields, they would slow down, provide you formal training for working with this technology and then you would know exactly how to use it properly.
In software engineering? Figure it out. Google around. You don't need to learn it in depth. No one has time for that. Just run this command from stack overflow with 3 upvotes. Just get it done.And this kind of workflow is accepted accross the whole organisation, from juniors to seniors to managers. It's accepted accross the industry.
And if you want to do it properly or learn more about it, you are free to do so in your own time. Oh no. Not only that you can, it's expected of you. On top of working overtime to meet deadlines, the industry expects you to work on hobby projects and grind leetcode. Also, get some certs, it will help your career.
Have I just chosen wrong career path? I am not completely against learning, I enjoyed it in school. But the more I am thinking I didn't enjoyed learning itself. I enjoyed knowing. I was happy when I learned something and then I applied it on the exam and got a good grade.
But in work, it seems like I am learning directly on the exam. It's stressful and I after I finally learn and apply, I am quickly off to the next problem.
When I was still a student, this approach seemed exciting and full of freedom. But now when I am supposed to give estimations for my work and guarantee certain level of quality I feel like I am on thin ice most of the time.
Not to mention I don't even know who I am anymore. I work with so many different technologies that labeling myself as Java developer (my original career goal) wouldn't be true. I also wouldn't perform too well on Java Developer interview since my focus had been split accross too many other areas in past years. Obviously I improved in all of them, yet, I mastered none.
I am not sure if this makes any sense. I guess my issue overall is that I have to handle many things and don't have time for them.
Does anyone else have this experience? Do you honestly enjoy it? Or would you like it if the industry slowed down a little and allowed people to work slowly but with more confidence? Does it all feel rushed to you, too? Or am I just a bad software engineer?
submitted by avpd_squirrel to cscareerquestions [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 21:28 Thexzq Zuly not getting involved in the Andrea drama BGC9

So pretty much this is not me making excuses for Zuly sitting back watching Andrea get jumped, however I understand now why he didn’t get involved in any drama.
Think about it. Any man going into the Bad Girls Club with 6 other girls has getting laid on his mind. He’s not trying to fight or start drama because he’s way to masculine for that.
Most men when around a bunch of women aren’t out here trying to fight or engage in drama with them they just wanna have sex. So Zuly being a trans guy makes so much sense to me with how he acted in the house. However it still does not excuse him not speaking up and telling those girls they were wrong.
submitted by Thexzq to BadGirlsClub [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 21:24 livvylouluv Was My Doodle’s First Groom Botched? - Help

Was My Doodle’s First Groom Botched? - Help
[TLDR; how do I fix my puppy’s face, and AITA for feeling peeved about the groom I received.]
Hi doodle pawrents! I feel like I am making my final evolution to a full blown doodle owner but I am so upset about our girl Lilah’s first groom.
  • The 1st pic was her the day before grooming. She was too scruffy but so cute.
  • The 2nd through 4th pics were what my fiancé and I showed the groomer.
  • The last pics are what came home, including closeups.
I don’t take too much issue with her body, it’s essentially what we asked for (1” on legs, 1/2” on body). Legs to body could’ve been blended slightly better but not the end of the world. Really, the problems start from the neck up.
Firstly, I feel like the groom looks nothing like what we asked for. And, to make matters worse it seemed sloppy. You can see in the second to last picture that there’s a piece of stray hair that is obvious and I think would have been noticed by even a minimally attentive groomer. The body is not blended to her head at all. (Should it have been?) And in the last pic you can see that the hair on top of her head above her eyes is almost doing this weird curved, caveman brow/hat brim thing. I also asked for a rounded muzzle, not a parted muzzle. (One of the example pics had a parted muzzle but I was specific about rounded muzzle.) And, her head almost looks like a bobble head in a way that does not seem to be true for the dogs in the pictures…am I crazy?
I will say this was her first groom, and I knew it would be a shock to the system, but I feel somewhat miffed by how different it is from what I expected and from what she looked like before. So, two questions:
1) Am I being dramatic or was this a bad groom?
2) What can we do to at least fix her face a little bit so it looks more like the photos we showed the groomer?
We have high quality scissors—we bought a set to touch up her eyes before she was vaccinated—including small, medium, and large, plus blending scissors, all with rounded tips, so I have tools to at least do a little shaping. I just don’t want to frantically take scissors to her face and make matters worse.
TIA <3
submitted by livvylouluv to labradoodles [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 21:23 aerovistae Switched from League to Dota after 3 years, felt like writing up a comparison between the two

After playing League for ~3 years I decided to stop and learn a new game and now have been playing Dota for about 8 months. As I've been learning I've been comparing and contrasting them, and I felt like writing up my thoughts.
I'm not a high ranked player; I was emerald in League and I don't really played ranked in dota. It doesn't matter, since this post isn't about tactics/strategy or how to win-- I'm just talking about the differences between the mechanics of the two games and their clients.
Disclaimer, this is all about Soloqueue. Pro play is a different environment and many things are different. I'm just talking about the average player's experience.
In League's favor:
  • Better lore. It's not a contest really. League's champions all have names and stories that are placed front and center, whereas Dota heroes are more like archetypes than individuals with distinct identities. Instead they're known by a description of what they are, while their "real names" are kind of buried in half-assed bio summaries and infrequently referenced. There's a dude called "Anti-Mage." There's a dude on a bat and his name is Batrider. There's nothing in Dota to compare with the hype lore media Riot produces, like the fiddlesticks rework video or the 10 min yone/yasuo video. Champion lore just gets way more money put into it in League.
  • League has WAYYYYY better champion animations and ability visual designs. This is for me where League blows Dota out of the water. There's really just nothing in Dota that feels like Jhin, or Ekko, or Aphelios, or Senna, or so many others. With rare exception, almost all the champions in league have aspects that FEEL amazing - great sound design / animations / feedback delays that are incredibly rewarding. Dota's heros are really fun to play and I'm having a great time, but if you put them side by side with like 90% of League's cast, the animations of their abilities and movements just feel kinda flat by comparison. One of the easiest side-by-sides is Darius vs Dota's hero "Axe" -- he has the same ult as darius, completely identical except for darius ult's interaction with passive. But all Axe does for his ult visually is a little hop and swing of the axe. It's really lame. Compare that to the awesome sound of a Darius ult kill, with the fear, especially on the God-King skin, and it makes Dota look 20 years old.
  • Skillshots! In Dota most abilities are just unit targeted, so they can't miss. There are skillshots too, but they're far fewer. In league skillshots are kind of the norm, and aiming them and dodging them is a big part of the game and it's fun to do so and makes you feel cool when you land them or dodge them. Having nearly everything be unit targeted isn't bad, it's just different, but it is something I enjoy a lot in League.
  • Cooler duels in league, and more of them. Dueling is a big part of league and it doesn't seem to be such a big part of Dota except maybe a bit in mid. Everyone in Dota has teleport (instead of recall), and it only has like a 1 minute cooldown. So whenever a fight starts, people teleport in and it becomes a teamfight. There's only one 1v1 lane (mid), the other two are 2v2 lanes. So there's much less of the 1v1 culture of League where people get to solo each other and take pride in the results. The lack of skillshots in dota plays into this too, since landing or dodging skillshots can definitively contribute to the outcome of a duel. With that mechanic less prominent, statchecking is a bit more common.
  • Very little 1v9 potential in Dota by comparison. Dota has FARRRRRR more CC than league, it's not even close. League feels like it has no CC compared to dota. In dota there is an item anyone can buy that silences a point-and-click target for 5 seconds, and another that polymorphs for 3 seconds, and so on. Many such items. There's a support who can root you for 4 seconds AND polymorph you for 3, and a carry who can silence you for FIFTEEN SECONDS with his ult. In such an environment, no one person can solo carry a game most of the time. You HAVE to work with your team. So if you love 1v9ing, League wins hard on that. But at the same time this can be a negative for league - it means there's more ego and less teamwork. People in dota are by default much more inclined to work together, because in the face of such powerful tools they HAVE to.
  • Recalling isn't a thing in Dota, which means the game is kind of constantly pedal-to-the-metal. It can be kind of nice to take a breather in League for a few seconds and stretch your arms while walking back to lane, given how intense the game can be.
  • In dota, holding tab doesn't show you what items people have built, nor their CS, and it's super frustrating. You have to click champion portraits individually to see their items, and you can't see their CS at all aside from your own. Probably hard-core dota loyalists will say this is part of the skill of the game, but honestly it's just annoying/bad UI design that they sort of got used to and became convinced was "part of the game" imo. It's really stupid and annoying.
  • In League you can buy as many wards as you want, whereas in Dota there's only ever a finite number available in the store which is SHARED among your team and then goes out of stock until it replenishes on a timer. I hate having to share wards with the team in dota, and the store being out of them. I understand it's part of the game and managing that is part of the skill of dota, but I find it tedious and don't really enjoy it as a mechanic. Additionally, wards take up an inventory slot in dota the same way control wards do in league, and it's just annoying.
  • Better champion skins, frankly. Some of League's skins are just amazing, as we all know. I would say there is very little cosmetic content in Dota that can compare to High Noon Senna or God-King Darius or [insert your favorite skin here.] There are cool skins, but it's just not the same. In Dota you can buy individual things, like updating a sword or a hat or a belt or a single ability's effect, all purchaseable separately. They have some full-kit skins, but that's not emphasized as much as in League where it's the standard and the only option, and they're just not as visually impressive.
In Dota's Favor:
  • All heroes are free from the start. It's great for trying them out and learning the game.
  • The game is less punishing to learn than league, for a multitude of reasons. Don't get me wrong, it still has an enormous barrier to entry and a steep learning curve, but it's just less painful. Everyone who ever learned League remembers what it was like in those first couple months being alone in lane against people who have been playing for years - especially in top lane or mid lane - and just getting fucking demolished 1v1 and not even being able to play. That doesn't happen as much in dota. First of all two lanes are ostensibly 2v2 and only one is 1v1, although there's a lot more roaming by the supports. There's also no jungler role, a role in league which often leads to that player being blamed for everything that goes wrong in a game. And then there's WAY more sustain - in Dota you don't recall to buy items, you have couriers ferry them out to you. So you can just kinda constantly have Dota's equivalent of health pots brought out to you, and only TP to fountain rarely when you're super low. This means there's a lot less crying under turret while zoned off CS unable to play.
  • Much better tools for learning. The tutorial is better. You're able to click other heroes to see their abilities in-game. There's a guide system full of user-contributed content where you can pick one in-game and it tells you what to buy and how to use that item on this hero, as well as how to use your abilities by just adding little user-written snippets to the tooltips when you hover them. League does have recommended items and recommended order for ability-levelling, but the fact that you can choose between different guides for different roles in dota is huge, and the text telling you when/why to use specific items for a hero is also majorly helpful. Imagine if you could pick a different guide in game for Senna support vs Senna adc, etc, that recommended specific choices based on the role and neatly fitted those recommendations into the UI.
  • Dota has way, way, way more interesting items. There are so many active items in Dota, and they feel much more impactful. By comparison nearly every item in league is just a statstick that gives one form or another of more damage or more tank. In Dota there are items that silence for 5s, that disarm (teemo blind) for 3s, that root an aoe for 2s, that polymorph for 3s, that reset ALL your cooldowns including ult (this one has a 5 min cooldown, the rest are <20sec.) Dota's version of Thornmail has an active that hugely amplifies the reflected damage for 5second, so the item feels great to use and has more skill expression - you time the active correctly when someone is focusing you and it makes a big difference. Given that most effects last 3-5 seconds, it's not about super-precise timing like in League so much as it is about broader strategic choices of using it early or late in a fight, etc. The only items in league that feel as strong as Dota items are Zhonyas, GA, and Locket, with honorary mention for the perennially overpowered botrk.
  • Dota has a way more beautiful map. It's not even close. Dota's map has so much going on. There are far more jungle camps, there's trees everywhere (which many hero abilities interact with in different ways!), there's high ground and low ground. There's so many different places and different entities and landforms, and it's just beautiful. League's map feels empty and stale by comparison. It's much smaller than dota's map, the jungle camps have fixed contents that never change (dota's camps rotate and change during the game). Not even to mention that Dota's map is divided in half and each team's side looks completely different from the other half. As opposed to league where they're identical but just rotated.
  • Aghanim's shard and scepter. These are the my favorite things in Dota that league doesn't have. What are they? They're two items you can buy that each have a different effect on every single individual hero in the game. On a case by case basis, they either UNLOCK ENTIRE NEW ABILTIES (literally the UI expands to add a new slot when you buy them) or they upgrade one or more of your existing abilities to have entirely new effects. This is just so cool and I was shocked when I learned about them. It's just so fun being able to gain new abilities even late in the game.
  • The talent tree, which is like an ability customization tree you progress through over the game and which is specific to the hero you're playing. In Dota the max level is 30, and every 5 levels in the game from level 10 onwards, you can unlock a "talent", at which point you pick one of two options to upgrade your hero. It might add 1s to your Q's stun. It might decrease the mana cost of your W. It might give you +250 base health, or +50 AD. It might add entirely new effects to your abilities, like making what was previously just a rooting projectile also start silencing. By level 30 you will have gotten to unlock everything in the tree (you don't typically reach level 30 very often in ranked games). Imagine if like at level 25 you could add "Mundo Q grounds for 0.5s" or "Irelia E +200 range". It's stuff like that and it's so fun.
  • Dota is more team-oriented. Due to the prevalence of long-lasting debuffs/cc from both items and hero abilities, no one person can really just solo carry to the same extent as in League. In my experience you only very rarely see someone 1v9 in Dota, and usually it's because the enemy team is just making stupid choices. This makes the game a bit more tolerable on average, although you encounter the same toxicity as in league just the same.
  • Dota has built-in voice chat. This actually does come in handy a lot. Hate not having it in league. It's typically effective and you can mute people in voice just the same as in chat so it's rarely been problematic in my personal experience so far.
  • Dota has "turbo mode." This mode is just great. Wish league had it. It's basically norms, but with aram-level gold income so all players get to full build in like 20-30 min without even powerfarming. It's really fun and great for learning, experimenting, and playing casually with less commitment.
  • In dota you don't recall. This means more time spent out on the map playing. Instead all players have the equivalent of the teleport summoner spell constantly available, which lets you take part in more plays. You also don't back to buy items, instead they get ferried out to you by little minions, which is great. Having items shipped out to you constantly instead of having to spend time retrieving them is awesome.
  • Better demo tool by far. League's practice tool is notoriously shitty. Being able to open the demo tool while you're waiting in queue in Dota is amazing. Can't do that in league.
  • Dota has 3 additional inactive item slots called the backpack. Love being able to hold 3 additional items that you can swap in or out (they're not usable from the backpack and you don't gain their effects, but you have them on your person to swap into from main inventory if you want). Just gives you nice flexibility when holding consumables and building stuff.
  • Neutral items. This just doesn't exist in league and I wish it did because these are really fun and cool. When you kill neutral jungle camps in dota they drop items, and the power level of the items scales over the course of the game, from weak ruby crystal type stuff to things that are as strong as rabadons. And they don't take up a normal inventory slot, so you effectively get an actual 7th item in dota.
  • The system for checking out customization and skins. Dota's system is pretty different, where instead of buying holistic skins that change everything, you can customize individual parts of a heroe's appearance, like their hat or their sword or their belt or gloves. There's WAYYYYY more options than in League, and you can try them all out in the client to see how they look.
  • Cosmetics for things other than the heroes/champions themselves. In League you can only buy champion skins. In Dota you can buy cosmetics for the ancient (nexus), the towers, the creeps, the map, etc. None of that exists in League. We fucking WISH we could buy that kind of stuff. Riot are you listening?
Conclusions
On the whole I'd say there's more things to like about Dota than about League just in sheer quantity of bullet points, but regardless I love both games and think they're both really fun. If Dota improved their lore, their animations, and their tab screen and League improved their cosmetics store and had a more interesting and dynamic map, plus neutral items and agh's shard & scepter, I wouldn't really have any major complaints about either of them.
I think anyone who loves one game could potentially love the other one too and it's totally worth learning whichever one you don't already know, if you have the time. Obviously these games take a ton of time and most people barely have time for one let alone two. But if you're young especially, they're both really fun.
It's pretty hard for me to see eye-to-eye with the people who love one game and ferociously hate on the other - it seems childish and kind of empty. To not find one as fun as the other, sure, that's one thing, but to expend energy hating it and constantly shitting on it, that just confuses me. You can have a favorite while still acknowledging the other as a comparably enjoyable game.
One final note - one of the things I found most interesting about comparing them is seeing which mechanics are normal in one game that would be overpowered in the other game.
In Dota there is a hero named Nature's Prophet whose W is TF ult minus the vision. It has a one minute cooldown, going down to eventually 0 cooldown late game, and he can access it from level one if he chooses to. Nature's prophet would likely have a >90% wr in League.
But then in League we have Zilean and his stupid ult on a one minute cooldown, while in Dota that only exists as a one-time use item (like GA) that you are rewarded with when you defeat their version of Baron, and it is basically the strongest item in the game. Zilean would likely have a >90% wr in dota.
submitted by aerovistae to leagueoflegends [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 21:23 Gambit-Accepted Wehr Battlegroup And DLC Ideas

Wehr Battlegroup And DLC Ideas
Continuing this series on Battlegroup ideas, today is Wehr. Here are my DAK Ideas. To reiterate, I wanted to make these ideas thematic, different from existing battlegroups, unique and mostly historically accurate. Here I use the units that are already in the game files and propose how they could be implemented in an interesting way. Relic seem to have developed several bunker types which they intend to use, so when designing my battlegroups, I did it in a way where these bunker types were used but didn’t make the battlegroup Italian Coastal 2.0, rather fed into a larger idea. I introduce and expand a number of mechanics I have discussed in my other threads:
https://preview.redd.it/5pxs8daqzf0d1.png?width=1281&format=png&auto=webp&s=62517c6b48c79fe9ea3cdf8a8794e81cb8fd7ecb
Central Idea: All in prevention, counter attack. Your opponent would have a hard time overwhelming you in one all in push. The left side of the tree consists of mostly callins and quick dispatch units for handling flanks quickly, the right side is more logistics themed with multiple reactionary abilities.
BMW R75: Not a lot to say here, similar to the DAK bike except with an MG 42. It could be made to have no reverse, like the Coh1 bike, that was a fun mechanic.
4-Man Pios: Again, self-explanatory.
Sd. Kfz. 251 Variants: This gives you access to other 251 variants, either by upgrading the 251 directly or by calling them in. I’ve chosen these 2 versions that I feel open up a lot more strategies, Mortar HT and Luft tier would be quite good, that tier lacks indirect. Pakwagen Panzer Gren tier would also be strong, as that tier lacks mobile AT. The ATHT would have the same AT performance as the Marder, but would have less HP and no lockdown ability.
Panzer III H: As a unit to add to Wehr’s roster, this makes a lot of sense on many levels. In terms of performance, this would be closer to the Crusader medium tank. In terms of the timing, it would arrive at the same time as the Stug and the Wirbel, but unlike both of those specialists, this would be a generalist for that timing.
Temporary Armour Assignment: This is exactly like the mechanic I described in my DAK designs. How it works is that this munitions only ability is used and a Stug, P4 pair arrive from off map. Neither unit requires fuel, manpower, upkeep or population. They benefit from all the upgrades that affect the normal version, ie vet and armoured skirts. You have direct control over them but after a set period of time, they will turn to AI control and leave. This makes them really good as a reactionary ability (your opponent is doing an all in) or as your own all-in, especially if you’re already maxed out on population. You’re especially incentivised to make risky plays with them as armour preservation is not so important. The number of use cases for this ability are so numerous that I won’t explain it anymore, it should be obvious how strong this is. I think to balance this out, it needs a heavy munitions cost and a long recharge timer.
AI Temporary Elephant Assignment: One of the questions I’ve been asking myself since Coh3 came out is how do you add heavy tanks to the game in such a way that it’s not frustrating to play against and doesn’t break it. Given that the game is set so much earlier in the war and a number of the factions don’t have ready access to tank destroyers like the SU-85 and the Jackson, you can’t simply throw in the Elephant and hope for the best. To be completely explicit, I don’t see how the US with their current roster are expected to deal with a Coh2 style heavy tank destroyer. However, in Halo Wars 2 Blitz game mode, how it works is that you can call in a Scarab and its an incredibly strong unit but after a certain period of time, it spontaneously explodes and the game returns to normal. Why wouldn’t something similar work for Coh3? The risk reward calculus of using it would be; can you get enough damage done in the period available to justify the expenditure? There are a few ways that this could be implemented, you could, for instance, give the player direct control over the Elephant but I’m in favour of doing this slightly differently. Like the Infantry Assault ability for the US Advanced Infantry Doc, I think this should be AI controlled, should be on attack move and should be targeted on a position. After the timer, the unit would drive off map. This way you get the power fantasy of using a heavy tank without the game breaking potential of a heavy tank camping for the entire game between 2 VPs and zoning out all tanks. The reason I prefer this method of implementation is 2 fold; the first is that counterplay is much simpler, you just avoid the area and wait for it to time out. The second is that it has that appeal of being somewhat like a mini campaign mission within the game, you have to defend the tank with your forces as it advances. Your opponent would be easily able to flank it if its on it’s own, but when you support it yourself its more potent. The one exception to this AI control that perhaps should be considered is allowing the player to control the tageting directly, You wouldn’t want the Elephant to shoot at some random infantry while your opponent moves double Archers into position. In terms of relative strength of the abilty, I think if it was implemented in this fashion, the Elephant ability wouldn’t be that strong. I feel direct control over a P4 and a Stug is much stronger than an AI controlled Elephant. To me this is the best way of getting heavy tanks into the game.
Logistics Field Officer: The right side of the tree very much has a logistics theme to it, starting with the officer. The Resource Priority ability works well with a variety of units, one could see this being handy in a situation where you want to increase the ROF of an MG, Mortar or Pak being extremely useful. Situations where you want to increase the ROF on a tank to help it win the engagement would also be strong. Speeding up the recharge on a Nebelwerfer would also be a common use. Source Replacements I could also see being a heavily used ability, either on the field or in base. Finally, given this battlegroup is munitions intensive, the Supervise Resource Extraction ability will allow you to increase your income like a cache does. You could even have some rush strat builds involving the officer, but unlike caches and trucks, the unit can be repurposed to do other things afterwards.
Panzerschreck Trailer: This is another type of trailer unit. I’ve talked about trailer units a few times in my other posts, but here is the rundown: My thinking with this is that its a brand new unit type, which loosely can be defined as a support weapon. How it works is that infantry squads can crew it, push it around, vehicles can tow it, etc. When in a position, it provides an aura which in this case recharges nearby snares faster. However, the unit shouldn't require pop cap and moreover, you can actually manually decrew it and it will still provide you the benefits. So for example, let's say it spawns in your base and you want to setup a strong point, you can crew it with a squad, wheel it over to a house near the frontline and then decrew it. Units within its vicinity would still be benefiting from the aura. When you want to move it, recrew it again, or tow it, to a new location. The beauty of this dynamic is that your opponents can steal these units from you like an ATG, so while they don't take up popcap and would be relatively cheap (say 100 to 150 manpower), you're still incentivised to protect them. You can also attack move them with AT guns etc, would be interesting to play around it. I think it would make for a fun dynamic, but would need to be coded from scratch. It also indirectly makes tow yet more useful. With this trailer specifically, it’s aura will recharge nearby snares faster, however squads can also collect a Panzerschrek from the trailer for a munitions cost. This Panzerschrek is timed, so after a duration the squad will drop it. This is going to really strong in situations where your opponent is doing an all in dive with light vehicles and/or tanks and you need to bolster your AT immediately to hold on. Picking up these Panzerschreks is not cheap, but it makes it much harder for your opponent to dive you and also allows you to go for low AT builds with this trailer as the backup. The way I see this until being used is wheeling it behind a hedge or building near your cutoff and running over to grab a Panzerschrek if its needed. Let’s say your opponent does a double M8 dive, your 2 Grens and a Panzergren pick up 3 schreks between them and your opponent is basically able to do nothing but wait for them to time out. This could buy you enough time to reach T4 or whatever else you were doing. It’s a tool that adds a lot of flexibility to your composition, but remember if you get forced off, your opponent can just steal it and then its your problem!
Weapon Stores: This gives your pios the ability to build Riegel mines but also Weapon Supply Bunkers. Now, the bunker has a straight forward aura that increases ROF of infantry and their grenade recharge times, but it also has another more expansive mechanic of temporary weapon upgrades. I’ve talked about this mechanic at great length in my Luftwaffe Field Division faction design, where the faction essentially revolves around that mechanic, but here I use a simplified version for a Wehr battlegroup. The TLDR is that infantry squads can pick up weapon packages from the bunker to either augment their current DPS or completely change the role of the squad for a short period. For instance, Jagers can pick up Beretta 38s to transform the squad from a mostly mid range unit, to a short range one. Grens can pick up G43s to improve their mid to long range performance and Pios can pick up an MG34. All the options are avialable to you. However, the upgrades are not timed, but depletable. This means that if the squad is not in combat, the upgrade duration doesn’t tick. You have to be in combat to expend the upgrade. The situations where something like this would come in useful are numerous, but to name a few; giving all your grens weapons at any point in the game, augmenting your jagers with MG34s, giving Stosstruppen Berettas so they become a close range powerhouse, or even double MGs. Relative to normal weapon upgrades, these upgrades are inefficient, but for rush strats they can be strong, as well as augmenting your units in the lategame with the extra munitions you have in the bank.
HE Shell Delivery: Improves the splash and anti infantry power of all your vehicles at the cost of penetration. This could be somewhat tricky to use, as your opponent will become aware of its activation immediately and will come in with their vehicles. But situations where your opponent has dug in with ATGs and AT infantry, this ability will be devastating.
https://preview.redd.it/n3ou7kaxzf0d1.png?width=1208&format=png&auto=webp&s=5bc267deaae4b64ba1bb97c294b92a5056835443
Central Idea: Team weapon play, heavy fire power and artillery. Good for just battering your opponents head on.
SD-2 Line Drop: This is similar to the equivalent ability in Coh1, however the big difference is that you can customise the area where the mines will fall. For instance, you could do a relatively small field on a VP for 50 munitions, or you could do a large line of mines to completely block off a flank with mines. This flexibility allows you to employ the ability in a number of situations and adds some nuance to its employment. It terms of how this would work in game, I feel click and drag would be sufficient, the munitions cost being visible on the cursor. In the context of this battlegroup, it can block off the flanks of your team weapons.
Pre-Sighted Terrain: This feeds into that team weapon focused gameplay, having extra range on your Paks and MGs in an area is going to be really strong. You could even use it with Mortars and Nebels for an extra long range barrage.
7.5cm Flak 264/3(i) AA/AT: The Flak 264/3 is an Italian medium AA piece that fits into what I will refer to as the ‘premium anti tank gun’ category. Similar to how the MG42 and DSKH were premium MGs, this ATG will be better than your standard ATG, at a higher price point. On the scale of ATGs, this will lie between the Pak 40 and the Flak 36 in terms of raw firepower. The damage should be exactly as the Pak 40, however it should also benefit from 10 more range and also the ability to shoot down air. The drawback however is that it should be relatively slow to move, like a Pak 40 in camoflage mode. For small adjustments, this should be fine, but to move it across the map, it would be easier with a tow vehicle. This means there are tradeoffs with this option relative to the Pak 40, the situations where the Flak 264/3 would be better is when you don’t want to invest in a wirbel but still want AA on demand when you need it (2 of these should take down planes pretty quickly), or situations where you’re camping 2 VPs and don’t expect to have to move around much, allowing you to utilise the greater range. Paks are going to be better when you need to move around a lot and expect your opponent to invest in indirect fire.
Flakvierling 38: This gun is exactly as on the Wirbelwind, except it’s a team weapon. Relative to the Flak 30, this would have the advantage of suppression and probably better anti infantry performance. Perhaps starting with the same stats as the DAK Flak halftrack and going from there would be a good place to start.
28cm K5(E) Barrage: Heavy railway barrage, not much to say here.
7.5 cm IG 37: This is essentially work like the LeIG for DAK, it’s a later version of the same concept. Wehr don’t have anything like the Heavy Mortar equivalent and this would be it. This would be handy if you wanted to go Luft tier or tier 4 without having to tech to get Nebels.
Springer Remote Controlled Bombs: Conceptually, this is identical to the Goliath remote controlled bombs, except these bombs are twice the size and are significantly more dangerous as a result. For me, one distinction that could be made would be dialling up their effectiveness against your opponent’s base structures. One thing I feel Coh lacks are tools for crippling your opponent’s tech. Kane’s wrath has a plethora of units and abilities for exactly this purpose and their employment is great to use and even more exciting to watch. So the Spinger should be able to knock out 75% of the health of a base tier structure. So conceivably, you could get a 251, drive it over to or into the base, deploy a Springer and blow it up next to T4, finish it off with Paks or Stugs. This will reinforce that whole dimension of the game, camping on 2 VPs will be much easier to punish.
Sd.Ah. 57 Munitions Trailer: Another style of trailer, as discussed above. Here it would be used directly with team weapons to increase their ROF. It can also be used with indirect, so Rocket artillery would recharge faster. I feel the situations where this would be useful are fairly obvious but one extra way of making it interesting would be if it had an AOE explosion on death. So your opponent would be incentivised to move in with vehicles and target it down. They could also just steal it for themselves.
Wurfrahmen 40 UE (f): Standard rocket artillery. One question I would expect a Wehraboo to ask is ‘why this and not the Panzerwerfer?’. The way I see it, this only has 4 rockets, so its damage per barrage is less. This leaves scope to make the barrage recharge time shorter, meaning you need to micro it more, but also, its less of a wipe machine or do nothing unit. You can also give it a lower price and require less population. Looking at the Walking Stuka in Coh2, that unit either killed everything or missed and was largely a waste of resources and popcap. If you can have the same unit, but with less alpha damage, at a cheaper price and popcap, it should be more consistent over the course of a match. It would also be easier to fit into your composition and would see greater use as a result. This essentially is why I picked this unit. That and because its new and different.
AI Double Wespe Temp. Assignment: Like the Elephant assignment above, this is where double Wespe artillery pieces come onto the field and are controlled by the AI. They attack move to the target, shelling your opponent’s units within range. This ability should be much easier to employ, as they barrage from long range, but also they should be easier to counter (you can just dive them). Since we’re not using new vehicle models, it should be cheaper to develop and its different from the existing off-maps.
https://preview.redd.it/ioj0msg40g0d1.png?width=1651&format=png&auto=webp&s=a0dad1a46e5e618833d25a2381033f0a0a9d10a6
Central Idea: Long range engagements.
MGZ34 MG42 Scopes Upgrade: Simple upgrade, improves range and sight of MGs once they upgrade themselves for munitions.
AI Double Sniper Temp. Assignment: This is most similar to the Wespe ability I just described, except with 2 snipers. What this ability would be strong aganst would be team weapon camp and entrenched infantry, as well as guarding VPs in the lategame. What this ability would be pretty bad against would be an opponent with several light vehicles and tanks which can drive up and elminate the snipers in 5 seconds. Its not like the AI will dodge. This ability is augmented by the numerous sight abilities and units in this battlegroup.
Panzerbeobachtungswagen III: This is most similar to the 254 artillery observer for DAK, except where the abilities are largely air based. The unit has an MG, so it can be used to attack troops early on, but its mostly used for the focus sight ability in conjunction with tank destroyers and team weapons. The SD-2 Ground Burst drop I see being more like the M83 Cluster Mine drop from Coh2. The Ju-88 P-4 Heavy AT Strafe, is actually a 50mm cannon, so different from the JU-87 we have now by having more alpha damage.
Fritz X Guided Bomb Strike: This is probably most similar to the Stuka Dive Bomb in Coh2, however, the big difference is that you can manually guide it to the target. The inspiration for this are the Predator missiles from MW2, however in Coh3, the easiest way of implementing this to my mind is that the player has to keep the cursor where they want the bomb to land. However, if they don’t want to do this, as it prevents other micro, you double click and it will go to where it was last targeted. So the situations where you’d want to perform this micro are quite niche, basically when nothing else is happening for 5 seconds. I think a sensible decision should be to cut off direct control from the player 2 seconds before it hits the target, so its still possible to dodge but harder.
Nashorn Tank Destroyer: Not much to say here, its basically the Archer.
Grenadier K98k Scopes Upgrade: Not a lot to say here, range and sight augmentation for grens.
Ranged Bunker Options: Here we use some of the bunkers Relic has already invented. The mortar bunker is simple enough, but the Observation bunker is a bit more interesting. This emplacement should have a long line of sight, but it should be restricted to a narrow arc which can be refaced. This encourages active micro of the emplacement. It would be strong in matches where this is placed behind team weapons and artillery for spotting targets but would not detect flanks. Somewhat reminds me of the child’s game ‘Spotlight’.
Fusiliers: These are another unit that Grens can be swapped out for. Unlike Jagers and Panzergrens, this unit is purely focused on long range DPS. You could use Gebirgsjager here instead, I use Fusiliers as one of my other designs uses Gebirgsjager.
Range Adjustment: This unit ability increases the squad’s accuracy after each model drop to a maximum of 30%, 5% per model. I could imagine in most situations, this would be a simple DPS boost, but there would be situations where fighting low health squads where this would be especially strong. The same kind of logic applies to the ATG and Tank Destroyer ability, where everytime they land a shot while the ability is active, it increases their accuracy and ROF.
Focused Gunnery: A global sight and range buff for vehicles, at the cost of speed. This blends well with the other abilities in the battlegroup.
https://preview.redd.it/i3wsbhz50g0d1.png?width=1520&format=png&auto=webp&s=84fee451b9cebfbd3b19a7800e36450932f17bbe
Central Idea: Area denial.
Grenadier & Pio Field Defences: Gives access to a number of build options. Panzer-Stabmine 43 AT Mines are a variation on normal mines, where the emphasis is placed on the heavy engine critical rather than the damage of the mine. So these mines would be relatively spammable, specialised against vehicles and would cause a heavy engine damage critical. The focus here is leaving your opponet’s vehicle stricken and being able to move in with your own vehicles to take it out. However, unlike say Riegel mines, it doesn’t do that much damage, so your opponent will have a much easier time of quickly repairing off the damage. It’s a variation on mines with its own drawbacks and strengths. However, the main structure you get access to is the Luftwaffe Relay Point. This emplacement can call in strafing runs within its vicinity, the AT strafe would be particularly strong if combined with the Stab mine as it would be far harder to dodge. The relay point though can also call in a variety of crate drops with different infantry buffs. Ammunition crates increase ROF, which is simple enough, but the Explosives Crate doubles the squads grenade ability the next time its used. For instance, Grens would throw 2 stick grenades for the price of 1 with a 0.5 second delay between each throw. Naturally, this is pretty strong and also munitions efficient, at the cost of extra micro. The mechanic could also be made to give squads that don’t normally have a grenade, a grenade. For example, it would be cool if Jagers/Pios got stick grenades after picking up one of these crates. I’m not sure what you would do with Stosstruppen, a bundle grenade assault? Sounds overpowered and incredibly fun. Double frangible sounds fine. Camouflage Crates give your squad moving camo for 60 seconds, so you could conceivably pick up this crate on the way to your opponent’s side of the map and use it to ambush or do all manner of things. One question that would need answering is whether or not is should be possible to stack these crate bonues, I could foresee camoed Panzergrenadiers with double bundle grenades being very very good. Perhaps the best way of soft nerfing this combination is to have a shared cooldown timer of 90 seconds on the crates, this should severely limit the number of times a player can get explosives and camo at the same time.
251/17 Halftrack: Exactly like Coh2.
Cannone Da 105/28 Howitzer Emplacement: A general howitzer emplacement, you could use the LeFH but this emplacement already exists.
Panzerturm IV: A mixed AT and anti infantry emplacement. This emplacement absolutely should take up pop cap but also have prioritise vehicles.
Bf109 WerferGranate 21 Rocket Strike: This would fire 4 rockets in unison, have fairly high alpha damage and flame dot damage. You would most use it against team weapons and infantry, especially in denying point caps, but potentially you could use it against vehicles, particularly if they hit a panzer stab mine, to cause them health damage and prevent them from being repaired.
Sd.kfz. 251/16 Flame Halftrack: Similar to the unit in Coh2, except you can also upgrade it with MGs. As a general comment, I feel this unit and flame weapons more generally should have bonus damage against base tech structures. Sneaking flame tanks into the base and burning down your opponent’s tech is so much fun in Kane’s wrath and I feel Coh3 would do well to capture some of that magic. So being able to burn down a tech structure in 30-45 seconds in would give this unit extra utility, currently it fees like the flame units lack flexibility relative to their autocannon equivalents.
Infantry Gestreckte Ladung: This ability is on infantry and it essentially is a grenade that sits between the Bundle Grenade and a Satchel charge on the spectrum. It would have the same damage as a bundle, but a longer fuse and shorter range. However, the charge would have bonus damage against emplacements, buildings and field defenses. The ideal use case would be against units behind sandbags and wire, as it would destroy them completely. Its much more likely to land than satchels, with its shorter fuse time, but is not as a good as bundle grenades which do the same damage with an even shorter fuse. So the bonus against field defences is the main advantage of the grenade. It goes without saying that this ability benefits from the Explosives crate from the other side of the tree.
Decima Squad Infiltration: This squad is most comparable to Stormtroopers in Coh2. You would largely use the squad to charge cutoffs and plant explosives on points, its going to be strong in VP wars. This squad has no camo out of the box but you can get that from the other side of the tree.
Communication Breakdown: This is activated in a circle zone and no off-maps can be used in it for the duration, nor do any global abilities like Designate Assault Position work there. There are many situations where something like this would be useful, for example, preventing someone from calling an off-map in during your assault, preventing an off-map being called in on a crucial VP in a close match. The main use I could see people using this is with their emplacements on the other side of the tree, preventing say bombing runs, etc.
In Deckung!: This abilly mixes well with a variety of the other abilities in the battlegroup. Getting cheaper grenades will allow you to spam them during the duration of the ability, if you combine that with the Explosives crates, it will be yet more efficient. 15 munitions Panzer Stab mines will be strong. The crucial thing with this ability is timing, as you need to use grenades and mines en masse to justify the initial munitions cost.
Other Unit DLC
As I discussed before, I think it would be a mistake for Relic not to include the substitute units feature. In terms of what units should be substitutable, this is what I feel makes sense:
https://preview.redd.it/dw9pq3w70g0d1.png?width=1121&format=png&auto=webp&s=e416e3e5bb9b982b1da5d5bd6177cd6f2ef87c71
Finally, as a general change, I feel we need to talk about the Pak 43. The Pak 43 is already in the game files and is presumably lined up for a battlegroup. I feel this unit should just be added to T4 so that stock Wehr has an answer to heavy tank spam (thinking about Matildas and Grants here). Wehr doesn’t have a great answer for dealing with heavy tanks, short of building 3 paks or several marders, neither of which are great from a faction design perspective. They come quite early, relatively, so improving their performance messes with the flow of the game and makes T4 less attractive, why bother going T4 if all the AT you need is in T2/T3? A Pak 43 in T4 has a pleasing symmetry between DAK, Brits and Wehr. If US got he M5 ATG (which they should), all factions would have this common tool. A number of players have been calling out for the Panther to be added to T4, I don’t think that’s the play here, as it would dominate so many other options. The situations where you would build a Pak 43 over a Panther are quite niche (look at Coh2), so having the more attractive unit in stock over the less attractive solution in a battlegroup, to me makes little sense. The Panther would also crowd out Flak 36 Emplacment play. However, the Pak 43 is easier to counter for your opponent, using indirect etc, while also giving you a reason to go for a battlegroup with Panther as the main attraction. Essentially what I’m getting at is that the Panther is too dominant of a unit to be in T4 and the Pak 43 should be there in its place.
https://preview.redd.it/jrapt7y80g0d1.png?width=452&format=png&auto=webp&s=8d4c8bae94945e100777c1b9d53278bfb3f7bfb2
submitted by Gambit-Accepted to CompanyOfHeroes [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 21:23 regg1e47 why is it so hard for people to like me

it feels like no matter what i do people will always see me as strange. i feel like im always second best. i have friends but i have to work so hard to be able to keep up with it all and it just feels like no one understands how much work it is for me to function in the same way that everyone else does. i got my diagnosis late and because of that it makes me feel like people who know about it don't think it's real or don't think it matters? i just want people to like me and i want to be normal and i want people to want to talk to me and i wish things were easy
submitted by regg1e47 to aspergirls [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 21:22 LeZoder Thanks for nothing 👋

Hi, C-PTSD! It's me, ol' Zodes. Yep. We're going to have a little discussion today before I leave about why this "supportive" community is not actually very supportive.
Your community is not exactly welcoming or friendly to everyone. I've definitely gotten my share of nasty replies and even people who thought it'd be a good idea to send me a piece of their mind after I said something they didn't like. They're free to do that, but when your message contains slurs and talks about how much of a "waste" I am for being trans, I'm not exactly inclined to answer it. That's the very least, I've gotten death threats from people ever since I started taking commissions, I'm used to it. It's just weird that a lot of them end up being from people who saw my posts on here.
I can try reporting these people, but I find that often, it's given a pass, and the behaviour is allowed to continue. If this is a normal feature, please say so! If that's how it works, mention it to people in the rules so they don't waste their time thinking this this is a safe place for them like I did. That's kinda disingenuous, but maybe I should not have had the expectations I did. Maybe this is the best you can do.
I find that there's a LOT of judgement in this "judgement free zone", with plenty of people disputing, debating, and questioning whether or not what really happened to me, really happened. This itself can be extremely difficult to deal with, but to get judged and even ridiculed for something life-shattering you have no control of in a group full of people with the same issue? It happens regularly.
It's not just me, I've seen it happen to other people who have had just as bad a time as I did. Told they "didn't try hard enough" to make it work, "oh it wasn't that bad", "you just want attention" - all invalidating , just gross things I saw on here daily. To someone newly diagnosed or really struggling? This can make things even worse for that person. Please think about the kind of connections you're fostering. A lot of people really need this support.
I thought the purpose of this place was to post what we've learned, the things we remember to carry with us no matter what, and the struggles we continue to face daily. I can't do that if what I say is just entertainment value. I can't do that if I'm getting death threats about how I shouldn't disrespect my alcoholic father who beat me every week for 13 years, that I should have cooperated and learned to "mind" better, and then I wouldn't have gotten beaten.
The truth is, my dad beating me had mostly nothing to do with what I did. It's a hard thing to learn to accept, but I don't get closure, asspats or a full meal -I must live on scraps. This will be the same way: I've got to take the same lesson - this turning out like it did as something that just happens to some people. Unfortunately, it is me again. I apparently have quite an uncanny ability to win the lottery in the worst ways. Go me.
I'll dust myself off like I usually do, take some stock and re-evaluate, but the truth is, sometimes everything that can go wrong, does, and that's all I get now.
Maybe the next time, you'll have two minutes for that next person ❤️ otherwise, just get rid of this sub and be done with it, we deserve better.
submitted by LeZoder to CPTSD [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 21:21 PaleoWorldExplorer My Idea for the New Sequel's Plot: GxK: Pandemonium

My idea for the GxK sequel plot would begin with Godzilla waking up from his sleep in the Colosseum and returning to Tiamat's former layer to complete his evolution. Fast forward a few months later, and Godzilla emerges from the lair, completing his evolution and starting to look a little bit more like Tiamat.
Fast forward a few years, and Monarch detects two previously unknown Titans emerge from the Hollow Earth, Titanus Qalupalik, an ugly serpent-like fish or amphibian emerging from the Arctic Circle, and Titanus Dakuwaqa, a shark Titan emerging from a portal in the sea near Kadavu Island. Monarch figures they are here to take over the niches left by Scylla and Tiamat. Godzilla encounters Qalupalik first, who is combative, and they get into a quick one-sided fight which forces Qalupalik to submit. Godzilla gives her a pass and accepts her to take Tiamat's place. Then Godzilla meets up with Dakuwaqa, who begins a ritualistic dance of sorts to gain Godzilla's approval. After Godzilla inspects him and his demeanor, he accepts Dakuwaqa to take his new territory. Then, Godzilla moves to Madagascar to rest.
On the human side of the story, public outrage over the incompetence of both Monarch and world governments to prepare for these Titan attacks is at an all-time high. Governments are now arguing over how to deal with them. Some leaders want to eliminate Godzilla because they believe Godzilla is going to attack them anyway regardless of whether they provoke him or not and that he is too powerful to let alive. Others want to focus more on a Hollow Earth takeover and declare war on the Kongs because they fear that they can plan another attack on the surface world. Monarch tries to assure them that such an event would not happen again because of their change in leadership, but many are still unconvinced. The American government, along with other NATO countries, begin investing in developing a new type of military weapon to deal with Godzilla, the Super X. They also are trying to seal up the holes left in Hong Kong, Cairo, and Rio de Janeiro to ensure nothing from the Hollow Earth can use those portals to invade the surface world again. Monarch gets into heated conflicts over world governments over the portals, as they want to keep a few open for research purposes among other things. The governments relent and allow the portal in Barbados to remain open but require them to invest in extra security in case of an emergency.
Returning to Godzilla, he is suffering from irritating skin parasites (these parasites would be Shockirus, Endoswarmers, or an original kaiju). To deal with them, he begins trying to scrape them off by rubbing himself against the seafloor near the coast of Madagascar. He also tries reaching for some with his jaws and claws. The people on the beach are witnessing this as it is happening, and once Godzilla gets rid of most of the parasites, the beachgoers realize that some of them haven't been killed yet, and as they are aggressive and still larger than humans, they emerge from the shore to attack humans. But this terror is short lived as Godzilla quickly comes in to finish them off. Godzilla then returns back to the water but stays close enough to the island where people can clearly see him. He floats in the water, similarly to a crocodile, with his head and eyes above the water. He is staring at the people and the coasts intensely, which makes the beachgoers feel uncomfortable. Then, it transitions to some flashbacks where we see Madagascar 5 million years ago. These flashbacks would likely be of Godzilla's memories of his youth, from his birth to the other megafauna that used to exist on the island back in the day. Then, it would transition to another flashback where Godzilla encounters some indigenous people on Madagascar as a more mature individual. He curiously stares at the people and the chieftain looks back with great reverence. The people bow and begin to worship him, and Godzilla continues to look at them tenderly. Returning back to the present day, Godzilla lets out a deep low bellow, which gives off the impression of sadness. In reality, Godzilla is upset that he has become more disconnected to the world he protects and now feels like his life has become nothing but fighting to protect it without being able to take pleasure in its wonders.
Switching the attention to Kong, a fight sequence occurs between Kong and another Great Ape wielding a heavy machete. They are fighting in the battle arena as some apes watch the fight while others are busy doing other things. Kong prevails and the Great Ape falls to the ground. After the fight, Kong helps the Great Ape back up. It turns out the fight was nothing more than training; one of the things Kong has begun to do since his rise to power is to teach his people self-defense. As the audience gets a better look of what life is now like in their layer, it is revealed that Kong has recruited a group of Great Apes to assist him in pushing forward his policies. For example, there is a group of Great Apes that are tasked with keeping track of their inventory and rationing their food and water for the tribe. Another group was tasked to build a safe bridge replacing the giant skeleton, which was at this point completed. Others are taking care of the children and so on. Then there are apes that are farming fields of crops, which Mothra periodically visits to pollinate. Shimo, meanwhile, is just chilling with the apes and is not confined to her pit anymore. Kong has no generals or anyone with military roles as he has no interest in conquest and does not see the need for an army at the moment. Kong also does not allow anyone to gather food or water on their own except for him, because he does not want to put anyone else in danger. He meets up with Suko after his duel and is approached by Boots, who is also now a trusted advisor to him, and is alerting him of an approaching Titan. It turns out to be a squadron of Monarch HEAVs and Jet Jaguar, piloted by Trapper. After the fight in Rio, Monarch sent expedition crews to visit the Kong lair, and were horrified by the living conditions that Skar King created. So, they planned an initiative to deliver humanitarian aid to the apes, providing them with food or water, and also trying to make diplomatic measures with them and the Iwi tribe. They have developed a new type of bioengineered crop made from various Hollow Earth flora and Titan cells to feed the apes (which can be a set-up for Biollante in a future installment) and a new type of HEAV that can carry a heavier load to transport these resources. They also created a humanoid mech named Jet Jaguar, piloted by Trapper, which serves as both a diplomat and a vet, fully equipped with veterinary tools that allow it to treat pathologies for Titans, including the Great Apes. In addition, Monarch has rebuilt the Titan Hunter with some improvements as NATO voted to force them to reconstruct it as a self-defense weapon in case of another Titan attack. Since that has not happened yet since the Rio attack, the Titan Hunter has not yet been used. Jet Jaguar and the HEAVs are arriving at the lair with another shipment of resources, including more tools for the apes to plant their own crops. While the Great Apes begin to collect the shipments from the HEAVs, Kong greets Jet Jaguar, who is here to treat a Great Ape with severe physical ailments. This ape has torn tendons and ligaments from slave labor and requires casts for all of his limbs. The challenge with treating the apes is that they are still cautious of foreigners, so Monarch has had to learn patience when working with them. They also have only one mech to perform surgeries with, so they can only treat one ape at a time. Kong and Jet Jaguar meet up with the patient, an as they perform surgery, Kong has to be with the ape to soothe and comfort him as Jet Jaguar begins surgery. After a successful surgery is completed and the Monarch team departs, Kong sits back and looks at his tribe. He begins to have feelings of self-doubt, that he is not up for the task, despite trying his best. He also still feels Skar King's presence, as the pain and damage he has caused still greatly lingers even after death. Kong begins to suffer from insomnia and nightmares from Skar King, showing his presence is still strong and relentless even after death.
Then, the Monarch team visits the Iwi city and delivers the rest of their resources which were designated for them. Here, in this scene, while the audience gets a better glimpse of what life for the Iwi is like, they also get to see Phosphera, another guardian Titan (The best explanation I can come up for why Phosphera did not show up to fight Skar King in the previous movie here would be that she was in a metamorphosing stage during the events of GxK and was too immature to safely break out of her cocoon until after the events of the movie.)
Back on the surface world, in a lab somewhere in the U.S, scientists are experimenting with a genetically modified colony of Shinomura, which would be the main antagonist(s) of the first half. These scientists work closely with the federal government. They believe that it would be more effective to genetically engineer a kaiju superbug that can quickly evolve, spread and annihilate the Hollow Earth ecosystem at much lower costs than constructing mechs which take much longer to do and a lot more money. The cells are dormant and can only be activated by exposure to radiation, which is why Godzilla does not detect them or see them as a threat. The cells are transported by a ship to North Carolina where another portal to the Hollow Earth has been opened. The military plans to release them into the Hollow Earth and then quickly seal it, but it is backfired by a group of mercenaries who attack the ship and want to take the cells for themselves. Unfortunately, the cells are released, and they are not far from a nuclear power plant which also happens to be using the pink super charged radiation gathered from the Hollow Earth, so the cells multiply and grow, turning into a swarm. The cells combine into arthropod like monsters that are too small to be Titans but large enough to attack humans. They begin attacking nuclear plants and surrounding cities while others retreat into the Hollow Earth, which catches Godzilla's attention. Mothra gains wind of it too and emerges onto the surface world to aid Godzilla. By the time Godzilla gets to North Carolina, the swarm has absorbed enough energy to combine into a singular, massive, supercharged form that rivals Godzilla in size. They begin to fight, while the military decides to resort to Plan B and send the Super X against Godzilla. The first battle is fairly even until the Super X begins to attack both Shinomura and Godzilla, blasting chunks of Shinomura away. It becomes a three-way battle until Shinomura escapes and retreats into the ocean while Godzilla is distracted fighting the Super X. Mothra eventually arrives and Godzilla and Mothra destroy the Super X. Then Godzilla pursues the main Shinomura heading for Japan while a few other smaller colonies move to other locations.
Back in the Hollow Earth, the Shinomuras that escaped there quickly grow and begin running amok on the planet. Kong is travelling with Shimo and Suko. They are gathering more food and water to bring back to the tribe, but their trip is quickly interrupted by a squadron of Shinomuras that have combined into their arthropod like forms but now rival Kong in size. Kong leaves Suko with Shimo and takes them on himself. He has no problem ripping the Shinomuras apart with his axe and bare hands. He overpowers them individually, but as the Shinomuras recombine and reshape themselves, they begin to overwhelm him. He notices Shimo and Suko are prompted to do something about it, even though he doesn't want them to, but eventually relents and retreats into a nearby body of water to shake them off of him. Kong quickly jumps out of the water and Shimo freezes and traps the Shinomuras in the water. The trio realize that even more Shinomuras are on the way and transforming into something deadlier. The three immediately turn back and run straight for the lair. As they are running, Kong gets flashbacks of being pursued by Skar King's goons; the Shinomuras remind him of the destruction and chaos that was left behind in Skar King's advance. Kong calls out to the apes farming as he makes it back to the lair and motions them to get inside immediately. He closes up the entrance and warns everyone of the emergency. He has everyone gather all of the resources they have and take refuge in Shimo's former lair, which they now use as an emergency bunker. Boots signs Kong what are they going to do next, and Kong admits he doesn't know, but he intends to be the one to check when it is safe to leave again. Meanwhile, the Iwi are in a similar predicament and Phosphera swoops in to defend the barrier against the invading Shinomuras.
In response to all of this, Monarch sends militaristic HEAVs to neutralize the Shinomuras and has Trapper (or some other character) tasked to pilot Titan Hunter to pursue the main Shinomura on the surface and kill it. Kashiwazaki is evacuated before Shinomura arrives on the scene. Shinomura begins to attack the Kashiwazaki nuclear plant when Godzilla and Mothra arrive to fight it once again. As this is happening, the other colonies arrive to other regions of the world, gaining more strength and attacking other major cities. Godzilla notices this and is conflicted on how to deal with the threats as he is fighting, but Jet Jaguar arrives in Kashiwazaki to fight Shinomura. Godzilla charges up to attack Titan Hunter, thinking he is a threat to him just like the Super X, but Trapper notices this and bows to Godzilla before he can attack. Godzilla accepts this surrender, but quickly shifts his attention back to the Shinomura. Eventually, Titan Hunter, Godzilla, and Mothra defeat the Shinomura, but soon after, several Shinomura supercolonies that supercharged themselves on Hollow Earth energy have reemerged on the surface world to the point where there is at least one attacking each continent of the world. The largest and most powerful colony is in the Yucca Mountain Nuclear West Repository in Nevada. Godzilla is forced to send his alpha call and awaken all of the surface Titans to attack the Shinomuras, so battles begin breaking out across the world. But Godzilla realizes it is not enough and ventures into the Hollow Earth to get more help. Mothra and the Titan Hunter stay behind to hold the line while Godzilla is away and Mothra moves on to Nevada to tackle the Shinomura there, and the Titan Hunter follows her.
Most of the Titans appear to be holding their ground for the most part, but not outright winning either. However, they start to have more problems as some Titans take advantage of the chaos to pursue ulterior motives. Amhuluk wants to fight to claim his desired territory in the Amazon again and travels to the Amazon to fight Behemoth over it and causing a three-way fight between them and the Shinomura colony attacking the region. Meanwhile, in the Hollow Earth, Camazotz reemerges and sends his minions out to devour everything in their path, including the smaller Shinomuras. So Amhuluk and Camazotz become the main antagonists during the second half. Some of the hell swarm attacks the ape lair, and Kong leaves to confront them before they break through. He is able to kill a large number of them, but there are too many for him to handle, forcing him to retreat back into the lair. Several escape into the lair, which Kong is able to kill. When he reunites with his people, he gets more flashbacks of his memories of both Camazotz and Skar King. The attack of the hell swarm reminds him of the invasion Skar King launched against the Hollow Earth and surface world a few years back.
Godzilla travels through oceanic Hollow Earth portals and passes through various ruins of extinct Hollow Earth civilizations along the way. He detects Amhuluk's movements and realizes what he is doing. Godzilla gets really mad, but reluctantly continues on his current path as going back to confront Amhuluk would take up too much time and energy. He makes it into the Hollow Earth and heads over to the ape lair and finishes off the rest of the hell swarm that was still attacking the lair. Afterwards, he charges up his breath and blasts the entrance open again, startling all of the apes. Kong grabs his axe and gets in a defensive position, but after hearing a roar realizes it is Godzilla. He calmly walks into the ape lair, but the other great apes become angry and leave the bunker to mob, surround and harass Godzilla. Godzilla does his best not to escalate tensions, but snaps his jaws, hisses, and sometimes pushes the apes away. Kong roars at the apes and directs them to move away from him. The apes follow his orders and Kong approaches Godzilla. He realizes that he has called on him for help against the Shinomuras. Kong decides to go with Godzilla but does not want to bring Shimo or any of the apes with him. The apes beg for him not to go, and even Shimo seems to cry out for Kong to stay, but he rejects allowing any of his people to put themselves in danger, and he puts Boots in charge while he is away. He says one final goodbye to Suko and leaves with Godzilla.
They have to fight off many smaller Shinomuras while travelling to the surface world while heading for Nevada. Meanwhile, Mothra and the Titan Hunter are already there fighting with the super Shinomura colony. The fight is rather even, but Trapper feels like the fight is going to quicky turn against their favor if they do not get backup soon. Some drones and fighter jets arrive to strike the Shinomura. Eventually, Godzilla and Kong arrive to fight the Shinomura, but Kong notices the Titan Hunter, and has a vision of Skar King, seeing both the Titan Hunter and Skar King as the embodiment of cruelty, destruction, and conquest. Kong attacks the Titan Hunter out of anger, forcing Godzilla to be the one to shove Kong away and break it up. Kong takes a closer look at the Titan Hunter and realizes that it is not the same pilot as the one that hunted Hollow Earth fauna. The Titan Hunter bows to Kong to show he is on the same side and they resume fighting the Shinomura. So, a large portion of the movie would be showing scenes of the Titans fighting the Shinomuras at random intervals, giving a glimpse of what is going on in all of the areas where fights are happening.
Shifting back to Godzilla and Kong's fight, things begin to look grim as more Shinomuras arrive from the Hollow Earth and combine with the supercolony, and Godzilla, Kong, Mothra, and the Titan Hunter begin to struggle against it. Godzilla is still capable of holding some of his ground, while Kong and Mothra are forced to step back as close-range combat is no longer viable. The Titan Hunter gets beaten up really bad and seems to be done for until an ice blast hits the Shinomura. It is Boots, who is riding Shimo, and has gathered the strongest and physically capable apes to help their leader (A fairly large number of fit apes were left behind to care for the elderly and the children). Kong does not know whether to feel happy that his people have his back or mad that they disobeyed his orders but regroups with them regardless and regain their edge against the Shinomura. Then we see more scenes of the other fights going on around the world before Kong's army, Shimo, Godzilla, Mothra, and the Titan Hunter defeat the super Shinomura. While the organic Titans return to the Hollow Earth to finish off the Shinomuras still running around in there, the Titan Hunter lags behind from all of the damage it has sustained, but the pilot persists with helping the Titans.
Back in the Hollow Earth, Godzilla, Mothra, Kong's army, and Shimo run through the Hollow Earth, assisting the local fauna in fighting off the Shinomuras. The Titan Hunter tries its best to follow them and fight off the Shinomuras, but they eventually overwhelm them, forcing the pilot to eject himself. Luckily, a HEAV is nearby and is able to rescue him. Then, a good chunk of the plot would then focus on shifting back between the Hollow Earth fight and the rest of the fights happening on the surface. Kong directs a portion of his army to join Phosphera in defending the Iwi city, which is now under attack by both Shinomuras and Camazotz's minions. Phosphera is close to dying (and eventually does), but the apes are able to kill most of the enemies while the rest retreat. Godzilla and Kong split up, with Kong pursuing Camazotz and Godzilla returning to the surface to confront Amhuluk. Kong leaves Boots in charge of his army and takes a few other trusted friends of his to confront Camazotz, but Shimo follows them, wanting to accompany them. Kong gets more flashbacks of Skar King when he used Shimo to try to execute him, and Kong was unwilling to let Shimo go with them since he did not want to use her for fighting his enemies. Shimo persists and eventually Kong reluctantly lets her join them.
Back on the surface world, Behemoth is not faring well against Amhuluk. The Shinomura colonies in the eastern hemisphere begin to lose the fight and as some of them are killed, the victor Titans travel to regions of the world where they still persist. In South America, however, the Shinomura colonies are still giving the defending Titans a hard time. Behemoth and Amhuluk killed the Shinomura colony, but to Behemoth's dismay, Amhuluk absorbs the remains of the Shinomura colony. It is close to killing Behemoth until Rodan shows up to fight Amhuluk. Rodan quickly gets the upper hand over Amhuluk with his airborne abilities and greater agility. But Amhuluk is not affected that much by Rodan's fiery attacks, as he reinforced his body with fire resistant plants like redwoods. The tables turn on Rodan until Godzilla emerges to fight Amhuluk. So Rodan and Godzilla tag team Amhuluk while Behemoth tries to get the strength to get back up.
Meanwhile, back in the Hollow Earth, Kong, his few trustees, and Shimo are looking for Camazotz and travel through a dark, stormy stretch of rough, mountainous terrain. They find Camazotz in a plateau surrounded by a supercell. They see that Camazotz's minions are feeding him, and he is gaining strength from the radiation that his minions got from hunting Shinomuras. So, Kong, his trustees, and Shimo fight the hell swarm and Camazotz. At this point, the Shinomuras are losing out on the fight with a few large colonies remaining, and Amhuluk and Camazotz become the main threats now. The plot then moves on to showcase some of the final remaining fights between defending Titans and the last Shinomura colonies and see the fights end with the Shinomuras killed. So, the main focus turns to Godzilla's fight, Kong's fight, the fight at the Iwi city barrier, and Boots' crusade to kill the last Shinomuras, which is coming to an end. The fight between Kong and his allies and Camazotz eventually breaks through onto the surface in Canada. Camazotz creates a supercell storm and begins getting an upper hand against Kong and his allies with his new power up. Back in Brazil, Godzilla eventually kills Amhuluk and Rodan and Godzilla both head to Canada. Behemoth gets the strength to get back up.
Back in Canada, Kong and the apes come up with a new strategy to cover their ears with dirt as protection against Camazotz's sonic screams. Kong then tries to do the same with Shimo, but when he does, Shimo does not like the sensation and pushes Kong away. He does not bother trying again and tries to kill all of the minions which are biting him and the apes and causing too much blood loss. Shimo does not fare well against Camazotz despite her size as his cyclone and sonic scream overwhelm her ice breath. Eventually, Mothra emerges to fight him after dealing with the last of the Shinomuras and blasts him with her god rays. Highly stunned and weakened, Kong grabs ahold of Camazotz and notices Rodan approaching to help. He throws him at Rodan's direction, who grabs him with his talons and starts burning him. He holds him in place for Mothra to shoot Camazotz with her webbing. Then Rodan drops Camazotz and Kong finishes him off.
Godzilla arrives onto the scene not long after and shoots his atomic breath to eliminate Camazotz's storm. With all of the hostile Titans dead, Godzilla almost sends the Titans back to sleep, but Mothra approaches him and begins to communicate. The plot then ends with Godzilla returning to Madagascar to take a rest at the coast and watch life as it happens on the island. Kong returns to his people in victory, and they are finally able to leave their lair safely. And Mothra takes over Godzilla's role of balancer, allowing Godzilla to take his well-deserved vacation. This idea of a plotline would mean the movie would be 2 hr 30 min or even 3 hrs so we get the most fighting sequences out of it. I know I glossed over a lot of the human aspects and that I left a lot of the specifics of how a lot of the fights between most of the unseen KOTM Titans would look like, so let me know what your thoughts on this are.
submitted by PaleoWorldExplorer to Monsterverse [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 21:20 bug_boy_eatsyou Struggling with supply and partners

When It comes to dating and all that I find I'm using my partners a lot of supply. I date them, get my supply, find someone wlse then leave to get with that other person.
I do have one partner that I've been on and off with, our relationship is extremely unhealthy and I'm considering leaving her but I feel like I can't because i need supply. I don't have a replacement this time but our relationship is failing. We aren't talking to eachother, shes been complaining about how she's always "the problem" (I'm very sensitive and I get upset over every little thing she does.. so yeah, she's right) and I'm pretty sure she's going to break up with me anyways. But I don't want to leave her because she's the only chance at supply I have, even if she's technically not giving it to me anymore.
I do have friends but she's sort of the "leader" of our friendgroup so if I fuck stuff up with her then I fuck it up with everyone else as well. So I'll be alone basically.
I guess I'm asking for advice on what I should do?
(Apologies if this doesn't make much sense, I'm really tired and bad at explaining)
submitted by bug_boy_eatsyou to NPD [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 21:19 Jazzlike_Elk_6535 I'm an irredeemable monster who deserves nothing but suffering and a slow painful death.

NSFW Warning
I truly don't know what to do anymore, I'm completely lost.
I'm a 20 year old male with autism and possible OCD.
There are many things I want to talk about so this is going to be really long and unorganised.
From age 18 up until last year, I viewed and masturbated to CSAM, and the way I went about getting hold of it is equally bad, if not worse. I cannot express in words the shame and remorse I feel for this.
I know most of you hate me now and I don't blame you, and I guarantee you I hate myself more for it.
The most confusing part about it is I don't find children attractive, there's no groinal response, urges, desires, arousal, nothing. I don't even take a second glance or stare, the only thing I have is intrusive thoughts. Recently I was sat in the corner of a crowded bus, and since there was nowhere else to sit, three boys, none of which could have been older than 13 sat by me, one next to me, and the other two across from me, to which I felt nothing of that nature whatsoever.
My instincts when I've been around children in recent times is purely parental and protective.
I'd never hurt a child, especially in that way, I'd slit my wrists or set myself on fire before I did that, I might just slit my wrists anyway.
I'd run into a burning building, I'd run out onto a busy road, I'd give my life to save a child's life.
I don't go out of my way to be around children, I find them for the most part irritating, I don't hate them though. Throughout my entire life I preferred the company of adults. I even live across from a playground ffs.
I'm scarred for life by some of the things I saw in those images and videos, how the hell could someone do something like that?! I want to climb through the screen and protect those kids, give them a hug and let them know nothing can hurt them anymore.
I stumbled across an image hosting site when I was 16 whilst trying to find material involving my peers again, and the site hosted lots of cropped images of teens on webcams and older kids on webcams (it was obvious what they were doing), and on the page for the accounts, it usually displayed an email where stuff could be traded, but I didn't pursue that until 2 years later.
I went about acquiring it through sending old images and videos of myself, and in a lot worse way as well.
Starting from 14 up until last year, I very occasionally placed my phone in the bathroom and filmed my friends urinating, this happened definitely less than ten times, and most of them I deleted from everywhere, but I kept one and a screenshot of a few others, I started posting these images, as well as my own nudes, on an old reddit account which was deleted not long after, I made sure to hide their identities while doing this, I enjoyed the attention and compliments I would get, and I loved bigging up my friends and seeing them get compliments.
Then I used this content to acquire the bad stuff years later, including the stuff of me.
I had an Idea that this was considered wrong but I didn't understand how it could have been harmful.
This happened to less than 5 friends, all the content I had I have long since deleted and wiped any access to, and I have no intention to do this again, but the main issue is the fact that copies could have been made of it, and I accidentally sent the uncropped video once. There's the possibility none of this stuff is out there, but it's still vile and repulsive.
One of them was my closest friend, who I had known basically all my life, I broke down to him and told him what I had done and what I believe does me to this awful, reprehensible place, and you know what he did? He told me he forgave me and that some video possibly being out there doesn't phase him and his life isn't ruined at all and it will go on either way.
But he understandably said we can't see each other anymore, that he still loves me, believes I'm a good person and wants me to live a good life and make the world a better place, which was a dream of ours.
It's extra difficult because we were so close, we had experienced so much together, held all the same interests and beliefs, and I loved him only like family could, so the fact I committed this vile act of betrayal rids me with so much shame, and deservedly so. In a way I find it harder to get through because I didn't understand the true consequences of my actions and how this could have affected him and others, it would be less confusing and easier to accept I'm just the lowest form of humanity that way.
I displayed other problematic behaviours from a young age, all to do with boundary issues, I sometimes used to touch my friends when I was 12 but never their actual genitals, and I used to jokingly show my erection to people as well.
The only constant that I knew for certain is wrong is genuine rape and molestation, which is a line I know for certain I could never cross, and never will.
From a very young age (around 3 or 4) my mother would do very inappropriate party tricks around me with her friends late at night when they were drinking, her friends would call me sexy, and as I got older and hit puberty, she started making comments about my bulge and other things despite the fact I hated it and told her so.
When I was 7 I was groomed and molested by an 8 year old boy, I wanted him to help me pass a level on my DS game and he said he'll do it if I have sex with him, me being 7 I didn't understand what that was and with him being older I complied. We were naked during this, he fondled my genitals and got me to do the same to him, he inserted his fingers into my anus as well.
When I was 10, two of my close friends groomed me, they simulated blowjobs on each other and got me to do the same to them.
When I was 11, my 12 year old friend groomed and molested me despite me protesting, he got me to get in my bed with him and he rubbed up against me. Earlier that day he also got me to sit in his lap whilst cuddling me from behind, we were wearing underwear.
When I was 13, that same friend when he was nearly 14 and another friend who was already 14 groomed and molested me in my pool again, I had an erection in the pool and jokingly showed one of them it, and it escalated from there. They both got naked and got me to do so, I protested but eventually gave in to the pressure, they also showed each other their genitals and got me to do the same, later that boy got me to sit in his lap again whilst the older boy rubbed up against me.
There was also just the normal experimenting stuff, one of my friends used to show me his erections and I would do the same.
All of my friends were going through puberty and their bodies were changing and so was mine, which I found incredibly fascinating and arousing, and I had seen most of my friends genitals and some other students genitals throughout growing up, so me being young and autistic, I became very curious.
Kids before finishing Elementary/Primary School were swearing and talking about sex, then as I got older (11) kids were drinking, smoking, doing drugs, talking about masturbation habits and apparently having genuine sex. Then by the time I was 13, there was a lot of students taking nudes, nudes being spread around school and nudes being leaked (including mine, which distressed me for a few days, but only because people knew they were mine, if they were spread around but they didn't know it was me, I wouldn't have cared), kids with condoms and other stuff etc.
I started watching non-pornographic sexual content online (sex scenes from movies, TV shows, games etc) at age 9 which I would genuinely get an erection from watching.
At age 10 I hit puberty (testicles largened) and I started masturbating to non pornographic stuff. Including videos of animals mating. I also tried to find stuff involving my peers and found a fake video of stuff suggestive of that.
At 11 I started to grow pubic hair and had my first ejaculations, as well as discover porn, and I had my first crush which was on a 12 year old boy who was another friend, who I would masturbate to. This crush lasted a number of years, but he was straight so it couldn't go anywhere. This was also the age I started taking nudes and videos of me masturbating.
At 12 I started to grow underarm har and facial hair began to appear on my upper lip, I was watching porn very heavily at this point.
At 13 my voice had broken and I was nearly my full adult height, this was also the age I first masturbated to a non-sexual nude image of a child. As well as videos of stuff like naturism and videos of circumcision (I don't have a pain or gore fetish, I would just blank it out and focus on the genitals.)
By 14 I was my full adult height, I had adult sized ejacualtions and my penis had fully grown. And that is when I started posting my nudes online. To which I would have sexual conversations with adults, not knowing I was setting myself up to be groomed and have something normalised in my head which shouldn't be.
By 15 I was growing facial hair, as well as chest and abdominal hair. And I found a shotacon involving a boy my age having sex with an adult woman, and I would pretend to be him.
At 17, a 19 year old flirted with me and got me into sending nudes to him, and he did the same, which I didn't see as bad and despite it being technically illegal, I still don't.
I also did the same when I was 19 with a 17 year old stranger online, but they were very willing and I didn't pressure them, no personal info was shared between us.
I also messaged a 15 and 14 year old at some point but stopped myself from letting it go any further. And cut them off before anything could be shared.
And when I started watching the CSAM, it was mostly teens 9n webcams that I watched, I was lured into thinking that this content isn't kids being assaulted or anything (which it is) and due to my experiences twisting my view, I thought kids were enjoying it (which they weren't) since I would have had enjoyed it at that age (which I wouldn't have) it wasn't until I saw unmistakable suffering which is when I stopped and vowed to never go there again. It was mostly stuff involving boys, the stuff involving girls I just found too revolting. I wanted to relive those experiences, go back to a time I was happier. It felt safe and comforting.
All of these experiencs warped my views and understanding of things, desensitised me and made me believe things were ok that weren't and that kids aren't as innocent as they are seen to be (which they are). I have never commited rape or an act of molestation and never will, these are acts I've always seen as vile and disgusting.
I've suffered with mental health issues for a long time as well.
I've struggled with feelings of self-hatred and worthlessness since around 9 or 10.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 13, I've been self harming and suicidal since 15, I've also been attempting suicide since 15.
I've always felt like the odd one out, I always felt like I was the worst at everything, I was the one who was left out of games at school, the one who was always picked last in sports.
I was bullied a lot growing up, by students and occasionally teachers alike.
My mother is narcissistic and has been emotionally and occasionally physically abusive to me since I was 14 (telling me she hates me and that everyone else hates me, tells me how horrible I am, tells me that I should kill myself and do everyone a favour, threatened to stab me in my sleep, hit me on the occasion, bit me, threw things at me, including heavy things and glass, strangled me).
I truly don't know what to do anymore, I'm completely lost.
I'm a 20 year old male with autism and possible OCD.
There are many things I want to talk about so this is going to be really long and unorganised.
From age 18 up until last year, I viewed and masturbated to CSAM, and the way I went about getting hold of it is equally bad, if not worse. I cannot express in words the shame and remorse I feel for this.
I know most of you hate me now and I don't blame you, and I guarantee you I hate myself more for it.
The most confusing part about it is I don't find children attractive, there's no groinal response, urges, desires, arousal, nothing. I don't even take a second glance or stare, the only thing I have is intrusive thoughts. Recently I was sat in the corner of a crowded bus, and since there was nowhere else to sit, three boys, none of which could have been older than 13 sat by me, one next to me, and the other two across from me, to which I felt nothing of that nature whatsoever.
I'm sexually attracted to males 20 and over, and I'm romantically and sexually attracted to females 20 and over, I wouldn't even date an 18 or 19 year old.
My instincts when I've been around children in recent times is purely parental and protective.
I'd never hurt a child, especially in that way, I'd slit my wrists or set myself on fire before I did that, I might just slit my wrists anyway.
I'd run into a burning building, I'd run out onto a busy road, I'd give my life to save a child's life.
I don't go out of my way to be around children, I find them for the most part irritating, I don't hate them though. Throughout my entire life I preferred the company of adults. I even live across from a playground ffs.
I'm scarred for life by some of the things I saw in those images and videos, how the hell could someone do something like that?! I want to climb through the screen and protect those kids, give them a hug and let them know nothing can hurt them anymore.
I stumbled across an image hosting site when I was 16 whilst trying to find material involving my peers again, and the site hosted lots of cropped images of teens on webcams and older kids on webcams (it was obvious what they were doing), and on the page for the accounts, it usually displayed an email where stuff could be traded, but I didn't pursue that until 2 years later.
I went about acquiring it through sending old images and videos of myself, and in a lot worse way as well.
Starting from 14 up until last year, I very occasionally placed my phone in the bathroom and filmed my friends urinating, this happened definitely less than ten times, and most of them I deleted from everywhere, but I kept one and a screenshot of a few others, I started posting these images, as well as my own nudes, on an old reddit account which was deleted not long after, I made sure to hide their identities while doing this, I enjoyed the attention and compliments I would get, and I loved bigging up my friends and seeing them get compliments.
Then I used this content to acquire the bad stuff years later, including the stuff of me.
I had an Idea that this was considered wrong but I didn't understand how it could have been harmful.
This happened to less than 5 friends, all the content I had I have long since deleted and wiped any access to, and I have no intention to do this again, but the main issue is the fact that copies could have been made of it, and I accidentally sent the uncropped video once. There's the possibility none of this stuff is out there, but it's still vile and repulsive.
One of them was my closest friend, who I had known basically all my life, I broke down to him and told him what I had done and what I believe does me to this awful, reprehensible place, and you know what he did? He told me he forgave me and that some video possibly being out there doesn't phase him and his life isn't ruined at all and it will go on either way.
But he understandably said we can't see each other anymore, that he still loves me, believes I'm a good person and wants me to live a good life and make the world a better place, which was a dream of ours.
It's extra difficult because we were so close, we had experienced so much together, held all the same interests and beliefs, and I loved him only like family could, so the fact I committed this vile act of betrayal rids me with so much shame, and deservedly so. In a way I find it harder to get through because I didn't understand the true consequences of my actions and how this could have affected him and others, it would be less confusing and easier to accept I'm just the lowest form of humanity that way.
The other two friends I stopped communicating with, I wiped the account wiped the content from all areas they were stored on, deleted what they were stored, everything, and there is a possibility it's not out their at all.
I displayed other problematic behaviours from a young age, all to do with boundary issues, I sometimes used to touch my friends when I was 12 but never their actual genitals, and I used to jokingly show my erection to people as well.
The only constant that I knew for certain is wrong is genuine rape and molestation, which is a line I know for certain I could never cross, and never will.
From a very young age (around 3 or 4) my mother would do very inappropriate party tricks around me with her friends late at night when they were drinking, her friends would call me sexy, and as I got older and hit puberty, she started making comments about my bulge and other things despite the fact I hated it and told her so.
When I was 7 I was groomed and molested by an 8 year old boy, I wanted him to help me pass a level on my DS game and he said he'll do it if I have sex with him, me being 7 I didn't understand what that was and with him being older I complied. We were naked during this, he fondled my genitals and got me to do the same to him, he inserted his fingers into my anus as well.
When I was 10, two of my close friends groomed me, they simulated blowjobs on each other and got me to do the same to them.
When I was 11, my 12 year old friend groomed and molested me despite me protesting, he got me to get in my bed with him and he rubbed up against me. Earlier that day he also got me to sit in his lap whilst cuddling me from behind, we were wearing underwear.
When I was 13, that same friend when he was nearly 14 and another friend who was already 14 groomed and molested me in my pool again, I had an erection in the pool and jokingly showed one of them it, and it escalated from there. They both got naked and got me to do so, I protested but eventually gave in to the pressure, they also showed each other their genitals and got me to do the same, later that boy got me to sit in his lap again whilst the older boy rubbed up against me.
There was also just the normal experimenting stuff, one of my friends used to show me his erections and I would do the same.
All of my friends were going through puberty and their bodies were changing and so was mine, which I found incredibly fascinating and arousing, and I had seen most of my friends genitals and some other students genitals throughout growing up, so me being young and autistic, I became very curious.
Kids before finishing Elementary/Primary School were swearing and talking about sex, then as I got older (11) kids were drinking, smoking, doing drugs, talking about masturbation habits and apparently having genuine sex. Then by the time I was 13, there was a lot of students taking nudes, nudes being spread around school and nudes being leaked (including mine, which distressed me for a few days, but only because people knew they were mine, if they were spread around but they didn't know it was me, I wouldn't have cared), kids with condoms and other stuff etc.
I started watching non-pornographic sexual content online (sex scenes from movies, TV shows, games etc) at age 9 which I would genuinely get an erection from watching.
At age 10 I hit puberty (testicles largened) and I started masturbating to non pornographic stuff. Including videos of animals mating. I also tried to find stuff involving my peers and found a fake video of stuff suggestive of that.
At 11 I started to grow pubic hair and had my first ejaculations, as well as discover porn, there was also an image I masturbated to which depicted a boy of my age giving oral to a man, and I had my first crush which was on a 12 year old boy who was another friend, who I would masturbate to. This crush lasted a number of years, but he was straight so it couldn't go anywhere. This was also the age I started taking nudes and videos of me masturbating.
At 12 I started to grow underarm har and facial hair began to appear on my upper lip, I was watching porn very heavily at this point.
At 13 my voice had broken and I was nearly my full adult height, this was also the age I first masturbated to a non-sexual nude image of a child. As well as videos of stuff like naturism and videos of circumcision (I don't have a pain or gore fetish, I would just blank it out and focus on the genitals.)
By 14 I was my full adult height, I had adult sized ejacualtions and my penis had fully grown. And that is when I started posting my nudes online. To which I would have sexual conversations with adults, not knowing I was setting myself up to be groomed and have something normalised in my head which shouldn't be.
By 15 I was growing facial hair, as well as chest and abdominal hair. And I found a shotacon involving a boy my age having sex with an adult woman, and I would pretend to be him.
At 17, a 19 year old flirted with me and got me into sending nudes to him, and he did the same, which I didn't see as bad and despite it being technically illegal, I still don't.
I also did the same when I was 19 with a 17 year old stranger online, but they were very willing and I didn't pressure them, no personal info was shared between us.
I also messaged a 15 and 14 year old at some point but stopped myself from letting it go any further. And cut them off before anything could be shared, or any messages could be exchanged for that matter.
And when I started watching the CSAM, it was mostly teens 9n webcams that I watched, I was lured into thinking that this content isn't kids being assaulted or anything (which it is) and due to my experiences twisting my view, I thought kids were enjoying it (which they weren't) since I would have had enjoyed it at that age (which I wouldn't have), it wasn't until I saw unmistakable suffering which is when I stopped and vowed to never go there again. It was mostly stuff involving boys, the stuff involving girls I just found too revolting. I wanted to relive those experiences, go back to a time I was happier. It felt safe and comforting. It was relatable.
All of these experiencs warped my views and understanding of things, desensitised me and made me believe things were ok that weren't and that kids aren't as innocent as they are seen to be (which they are). I have never commited rape or an act of molestation and never will, these are acts I've always seen as vile and disgusting.
I've suffered with mental health issues for a long time as well.
I've struggled with feelings of self-hatred and worthlessness since around 9 or 10.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 13, I've been self harming and suicidal since 15, I've also been attempting suicide since 15.
I've always felt like the odd one out, I always felt like I was the worst at everything, I was the one who was left out of games at school, the one who was always picked last in sports.
I was bullied a lot growing up, by students and occasionally teachers alike, and even my boss at my first job.
My mother is a heavy drinker, narcissistic and has been emotionally and occasionally physically abusive to me since I was 14 (telling me she hates me and that everyone else hates me, tells me how horrible I am, tells me that I should kill myself and do everyone a favour, threatened to stab me in my sleep, hit me on the occasion, bit me, threw things at me, including heavy things and glass, strangled me). There was also manipulation tactics like gaslighting, she alienated me from others by telling her friends and family how awful I was. Pushed me into meltdowns and got me to lash out, to which she called the police and got me arrested and made me look like the bad one on multiple occasions.
My father was a drug addict who died when I was 14, I saw him less than ten times my whole life, he grew drugs in my room when I was an infant, my most distinct memory is him coming to my house very late one night when I was around 9 or 10 talking about demons and bad spirits.
Addiction runs in my family (my father's father is an equally heavy drinker, his mother is a drug addict who ran a brothel), so the addictive tendencies have been past down to me.
I probably was addicted to porn by 13, and had been feeding it for years without knowing it.
My adopted grandfather died when I was 4, and my adopted grandmother (which I lived with from birth) who was my guiding light, died less than a week before my dad did.
The only father figure I really had (who was an alcoholic but otherwise very good with me) was my mother's partner who she met when I was 6, and he died when I was 8.
I was also very close to my mother's best friend, who had been more of a mother to me than my actual one had been some time died when I was 17.
My mother had an abusive ex who stalked her and threatened to set fire to the house, who also left ranting letters and stood in the back garden at night, so we lived in fear of stuff like that for over a year from when I was 12 through 13.
She also had an abusive lodger who was an even heavier drinker than she is, so from when I was 14 through 16 I witnessed them physically fight, both get arrested and on a few occasions I had to defend her from him.
Many of my friends have betrayed me over the years (I know I'm one to talk) but when this started to happen I would have never dreamed of betraying anyone, personal stuff was shared about me which I trusted them with, there was a lot of bad talking about me without me knowing. My toe closest friend turned on me at age 12 and isolated me from my other friends, I blamed myself at the time which I why I moved schools at 13 since I thought I was just making everyone miserable.
I didn't get diagnosed with autism until I was q9 despite trying to get it since I was 12, it hurt knowing I had been paying my whole life for being different, feeling ashamed of who I am (and rightly so now really), wondering why what I said was offensive, why I didn't understandfulky why this was wrong, why I was so sensitive to jokes, why I took e everyhing literally, why I made impulsive and reckless decisions without understanding the consequences of them.
I was never considered attractive and was ridiculed for it (girls used to jokingly flirt with me to torment me at school). I'm 5'6, always have struggled with weight, hairline started receding at 16, eczema so my skin is always red, dry and flaky, really bad diastema and acid reflux which means it's really hard to make my breath smell nice and my teeth are very worn because of it. I have had sex with someone who was older than me and we were both consenting adults, and we were both very respectful of boundaries.
I was also desensitised to other things slide gore and violence, I played a lot of violent video games when I was a kid, my mother is really into controversial shock movies (she got me to watch Cannibal Holocaust with her when I was 11).
The worst part about all of this is the fact all my friends who I love would hate me if they knew about what I've done so, none of them would trust me anymore or respect me, which is what friendships are all about right? So in a way they feel strange, they feel fake.
I could never find a relationship or true love because nobody wants to date a serial sex offender.
I hate knowing the fact I'm a sex offender, it's eating me alive.
I'm not registered and there is no real proof of what I did, so I can't turn myself in or anything.
I want to do good in the world, I have so much love to give, but it feels wrong me helping people because it feels like there is a sinister undertone to everything I do.
I've always enjoyed being charitable, I love giving money to the homeless or putting change in a donations box.
I feel guilty whenever I feel hapoy since I don't deserve to be, the only things that I enjoy now are food and playing video games, it's the only job I get out of day to day life.
The only fate I deserve is being stabbed to death in prison or something.
All I want is to be loved and accepted despite my flaws and mistakes, but I never could be.
The only other person I've told is my mother, who has been supportive.
I've been on antidepressants since 18 and I'm trying to get therapy, but I'm not hoping or expecting anything good will happen from this. I've been in and out of therapy since I was 11.
I had dreams, I had aspirations, I wanted to change the world for the better, I wanted to have a son, not to hurt him, but so he doesn't end up like me, but I reliase that is not possible. I don't deserve to be around children.
I hate keeping secrets, but I have no choice but to keep this one.
I want to identify with good people, but I can't.
Every good thing I do is invalidated now.
I forgive everyone who has wronged me in anyway, since I'm worse than them.
I just pray I can go out doing good, doing the right thing.
I am no better than Jimmy Saville, Ian Watkins or any of them types of people.
If you want to motivate me to end it all, feel free.
If you have read through all of this, thank you.
submitted by Jazzlike_Elk_6535 to confessions [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 21:19 queenmeowmeow69 Absent father is affecting child's mental health.

TLDR; My kids don't like their dad, even so far as resent him because he is always working.
I (f30) have been with my husband (m30) for 12 years. Together we have a ten year old daughter and a five year old son. Both special needs. Husband is suspected to be on the spectrum.
My husband and I grew up in vastly different childhoods. He is an immigrant from the Philippines and had a family that showed no affection or love. I, however, grew up with a Mom who never let us forget how much she loved us. This has played a big role in our parenting styles.
My husband and my daughter have never had the best relationship. To my perspective it seem that he just doesn't know how to act with kids. They are also so alike that they can butt heads. When my son was born, my husband had a much easier time bonding with him. Up until 1.5 years old, they were two peas in a pod. My daughter was 6 when I had my son, and she saw the difference In how they were treated.
Side note: my daughter has been in therapy since 5 due to catastrophic anxiety and has even had to be medicated.
My daughter started to think her dad didn''t like her, which was understandable to me. And it was something she worked on in therapy. Then the dialoged changed from thinking her dad doesn't like her, to now she doesn't like her dad.
My husband has always worked hard to provide for us, making sure bills are always paid, there's always food, etc. I always worked full time as well, until 2020. In 2020 my husband got a job as an executive chef, since the kids had to be home due to covid, we decided I would quit my job and stay with the kids. It was cheaper than child care.
If you look up "what it's actually like being a chef's wife" you instantly see it's very lonely. My husband works 16-18 hour days, he has two scheduled days off, but sometimes he has to go in on those days as well. When he is home he does his best to help out and spend time with us. However, he is understandably exhausted.
Once my son started pre-k, he no longer gets to see my husband very much at all. His bus arrives before his dad is up, and his dad gets home after my son is asleep. He see's him sundays, and Monday evenings. That's it. My husband missed him growing into childhood. My daughter only see's him every day because her school starts later and he often takes her to school. She's asleep before he gets home as well. I feel like a single parent most of the time.
On my own I got my daughter's mental health stable and got her off meds by age 8.
My daughter kept consistent with saying she doesn't like her dad, only it changed to hate. She started saying she hates when he is home. Even though in my eyes, their relationship looks (on the surface,) to be much better now that she is older. My son, four at the time, started to say he didn't like daddy, only mommy.
I talked to my husband about spending more time with them, try to bond a little more, maybe take an occasional day off (he hasn't taken one off in four years). He felt really guilty and spiraled into a deep depression. In his head, there is NO room for adjusting his schedule, or taking extra time off.
Another side note: In the middle of all this my husband was offered a different exec chef job, which would of paid about the same, but we would of had benefits, PTO, Bonuses, and a family friendly schedule. But it's corporate, which he hates. He loves where he cooks at now.
Both kids have been keeping up with the negative feelings toward their dad (it's very obvious he loves them). Everytime I tried to talk to my daughter about it, go deeper, as in WHY she feels this way, I was met with "I don't know" and she would shut down.
Yesterday I pick up my daughter from school and when we get home she sees her dad is home. Instantly her attitude changes and she starts saying how she hates her dad, she wishes he wasn't home and that he would just leave forever. However this time she told me a little more. She's depressed, she wanted to go back on meds, and she's just having a hard time all together. She told me she resented her dad for never being there. That he isn't her father and she would be happy if she never saw him again.
I validated her feelings, I mean, I totally get where she is coming from, and I let her know we would get through this together.
It hurts my heart to hear these things. I don't know how to handle the situation.
Should I tell my husband and hope it gets through to him enough for him to make a change? Or do I just spare my husband feelings because most likely nothing is going to change and this way we'd avoid another depression episode, and just be there for my daughter, handle it on my own?
HELP!
submitted by queenmeowmeow69 to Parenting [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 21:17 Dramatic_Stay6338 My journey man is delusional and dangerous.

Not real names This is gonna be a long one but I just need someone to hear what I’m going through right now cause I can’t talk to anyone at work about this, I told my wife and she said to ask Reddit so. My journeyman Jack and I (Jack m35 me m21)have worked together for a year now, we work in a remote camp setting 2 weeks on and off, we do maintenance on the camps in the area. My first week is with John who is an amazing journeyman and then my second week is with Jack. Jack is a psychopathic, narcissistic, manipulative, cokehead/stoner, gaslighter who thinks he is the smartest person ever, which Dosnt mix well when your also a supervisor whatching over other workers. For the last 8 months or so his first 2-3 days are spent in his room cause he’s still fucked up from his time off or he just gets super baked and chills out missing meetings not sending reports on time just not doing his job in general and always trying to get me to cover for him. For the first couple months this happened I was happy to help him out, he wasn’t having the best home life and I thought I was helping him, cause he was so manipulative and made me feel sorry for him and understanding. Were now on month 8 of this going on and I can’t do it anymore, he’s supposed to be teaching me but all he dose is get stoned and fucks off we work in a zero tolerance environment so I figured it’s only a matter of time till he gets cought but he also brings in synthetic piss just in case something does happen. I told our main superintendent about why he’s always in his room the first couple days trying to get him to do something about it but apparently they can’t do anything unless he has an incident. So I can’t go and blatantly say he has drugs and synthetic piss cause I’m also the only other person that knows about it so he will know I said something and he will make sure I pay. I’m alot bigger then him so physically I’m not afraid of him but I know what he’s capable of on another level of fucked up like he’s the kind of guy that will stop at nothing to make sure if he goes down everyone goes down with him. Whether it’s true or not he will plant shit to make sure someone else goes down with him or for it. He’s already made threats of if I say anything he will make sure I pay for it. He’s tied in with viatnameese gangsters and HA. I want his job as lead and I go to school in a couple months and my boss offered me the job but I don’t know what to do cause he needs to be gone now. There’s a lot of time between now and when I’m supposed to take over and I’m afraid he’s gonna do something bad that burns everyone,he’s incompetent and insane and it’s really starting to affect my mental health cause he lies and lies about everything but I can’t say shit to anyone cause I also don’t have solid proof to get him fired. Like do I just crash the truck one day with him and get him piss tested, I feel like it’s to late for me to tell my head office what really goes on out here but I’m afraid of what he will do if he finds out about me saying anything, hell he’d probably kill me for making this post. I just need someone to hear this cause idk how much longer this is gonna go on before someone gets hurt or killed. I just hope it’s not me.
submitted by Dramatic_Stay6338 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 21:17 bulletwasters my mother and i both failed my siblings

I've never posted on reddit before, I don't really know how this works but I was hoping to get this off my chest.
I'm 22M, and the oldest of three boys. I'm living with my brothers Chris (20) and Caleb (10) in my father's house. My parents have been separated for 2 years, and living apart for almost 1 year. Since the separation, I found out that my experience of my parents is vastly different from my siblings, and I've become very upset by this.
While Chris and I both suffered emotional and verbal abuse from our father until we were teenagers, he has stopped his abusive behaviors and has since gone to therapy, and our relationship with him is now really good. I thought that I had a good mother growing up, even during that time she was a safe person for me that I could always cry to despite my extremely low trust in people. However, over the last 2 years since the separation, I've seen a horrible, unrecognizable side of her come out that I don't understand at all, and every story I hear from Chris tells me that she's always been like this. I believe him, of course, and it's painful to watch and to hear. He can't talk about a lot of it without crying, and I'm kicking myself for not understanding any of this til the grown ass age of 20-22.
For over a year now, I have been hearing story after story about the most horrendous treatment Chris received from her, and things that happened to him in her care that I never would have stood by and watched if I knew it was happening. Some comparatively 'tame' examples would be that she would blame him for his own SA and for my chronic health issues. Chris is "low functioning" autistic (as the assessor put it. We're all diagnosed with ASD, but Chris has it the worst, as well as worser mental health struggles unique to him). Our mother would consistently force him or guilt him to do things that she knew he physically and mentally could not do. She would gaslight him, shame him brutally for terrible things that had nothing to do with him, and even blamed him for our father's epilepsy.
She only sees the things he does wrong and never cares for how helpful he is. I got extremely sick at 14 and I am mostly house bound or sometimes bed bound, and use a wheelchair part time. I take medication for POTS and can barely get up to use the bathroom without it. I wasn't around to help Chris or witness things in my family that I should have, and Chris practically raised Caleb outside his school hours for 3-5 years while my parents were both working. But even now, my mother won't even give Chris any credit for everything he did. She says it was me, even though I was bed bound and sleeping for 16 hours a day.
I grew up very close to him but he hardly ever told me these things even though I would always go to bat for him in situations like this. I think he was afraid I would act like her. I was the golden child the whole time and had no idea, because I became so isolated from the family due to my illness that I didn't see the difference in how Chris was being treated. But she was never like this with me and I only witnessed her toxic behaviors on the rare occasion that we would argue. Now I feel terrible that I thought we grew up together, while in reality, Chris was isolated the whole time even worse than I was. I even used to get upset now and then if he wouldn't want to spend time with me as kids. He was my best and only friend after my illness forced me to drop out, and I didn't understand at the time that he was being put through so much stress by our parents before he saw me that he was too exhausted and too upset to talk to anyone. I feel terrible for ever complaining, even if it was just because I missed him and wanted to spend time with him.
Now we live solely with our father after a stretch of trying to go between houses, and the further Chris gets from our mother, the more he opens up to me about what a terrible parent she was to him and how much it still affects him. When I was a teenager I would often try to sacrifice my health to sort out problems for Chris any time he told me about them, but they often involved his school or some other outside issue and he wouldn't mention anything current about our mother. I thought I was doing an alright job taking care of him and that he was safe with her around, and now I find out that I should have been protecting him from HER the entire time.
Her behavior towards her own children makes me want to say things to her and do things to my relationship with her that I know are completely unwise because my father is trying to maintain peace with her during the separation. But I feel deeply protective of both my brothers now, and I just don't want her to ever talk to them or have a chance to hurt Caleb like she hurt Chris right under my nose.
But of course, it's not my decision. Chris is an adult now, and Caleb is only 10 and he is not my son that I can make decisions for. However, I feel like I already failed them by not defending Chris better and not being there to raise Caleb in his stead when my parents failed to do it, and now that I have all this information, I feel obligated to act and protect them in every way I possibly can. And I have no idea how to start. I'm exhausted, I'm stressed, and I'm still sick. I can't work and can barely do chores, and if I do, I'm sometimes in pain for over a day afterwards. I feel I'm no more helpful than I was at 14 years old, and I just want to take care of my family and be a good son. No matter how often I offer my shoulder or ear to them I feel completely and utterly useless. I'm as available to them right now as I can possibly be. I don't know what to do.
I don't know what I expect to get from this post but I think I just want to air it out. I can't afford therapy, so, I may as well try to get some relief from this.
submitted by bulletwasters to offmychest [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 21:16 DingoBingoAmor Judicial System Rant

So, sorry for probably ruining your day but I had to vent this somewhere.
So, this one Psycho in our neighborhood (in Lublin) just got caught. Turns out he was already arrested previously and got recognized by a few local cops. He purpusefully set fire to multiple apartment blocks from the top to give the Firefighters a harder time. One old Lady I know nearly suffocated and had to lock herself on her Balcony and pray that the Firefighters get to her before the Fire does. Thankfully she made it out but her Apartment (and much of her priceless family belongings - I was there once, ever inch was covered in priceles photos, old Jewlery, expensive carpets and other hairlooms) was charred horribly.
And what is this guy's punishment? 10 years in PRISION. Prision - so now that poor old lady has to pay Taxes so that he has Food, Clothing, a roof over his ugly-ass head and heating.
No I do not care how many times his dad beat him or what sort of mental ilness he has he should face PROPER Justice for his crimes. Preferrably in the form of a very cheap substitute for Prision - a bit of bullet-shaped lead.
Remember - this guy, this absolute mindless psycho is treated the same as someone who accidentaly killed someone else on the road or a Wife who strangled her abusive Husband. Wow that sure does seem fair said nobody ever.
,,But DingoBingo" you may say ,,what about forced labor?" Ah yes, let's put Poles out of their jobs and bankrupt local companies so that Dangerous Criminals can be given life-threatening tools and hopefully make a subpar quality, steaming pile of shit somewhat resembling a Highway. But hey the Government can flex how they made them ,,useful" ignoring the 500 attempted escapes and multiple fights between inmates that went leathal due to the presence of sharp tools.
Oh, and the Poorest also have to pay Taxes to keep theese criminals in good shape.
What a wonderful system - ,,Christian Mercy" for Psychopaths and Corrupt Crooks, but not for the Poor, the Meek and the folks who just got fucked over in life.
submitted by DingoBingoAmor to poland [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 21:15 Jyn57 Are there any Generator Rex Fix Fics that address the following flaws/plot holes?

As much as I enjoy Generator Rex I have often wondered if there are any fanfics that addresses one or more of the following flaws/plot holes:
submitted by Jyn57 to generatorrex [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 21:15 Human-997 Couldn't keep few things in my chest about the in-laws. Rant Part 4

Sorry for a late post. Was trying to sort out my life a bit as recalling all of this also takes a toll on me. The next few days after the wedding were the same. The MIL (monster in law) continued to make each and every thing hell. Be it small gabs or taunts regarding to each and anything we do. Yes, she doesn't even let her son breathe. Both his parents are continuously standing on his head to do anything and everything for them. She threw 100 things at me and i absorbed those 99 but even if i talked to my husband in private about that 1 thing which tipped my patience with her, he would never listen and on the contrary would bring my parents in between. He used to always tell me to calm down or to let the things go which his mother used to do. Living with a monster who hasn't even treated me like a human yet was mentally torturing me. Moreover, i was counting on my husband's support but i didn't get any. Knowing and loving him for a decade long relationship was of no use. Because in those instances I didn't know who i even married, who is this person in front of me. The monster's behaviour was still secondary in my mind but my husband's was the most concerning thing for me. For a decade i have never hidden anything from him, i used to feel like i am the most myself when i am with him but the person completely changed after marriage.
Keeping long story short, the next few months were hell. Then came one doomed day when there was the first festival after marriage. My parents came to my in-laws house(my husband's house) brought gifts and sweets to celebrate the first festival. When i came down from upstairs, MIL started saying things about me like how she doesn't get to be served by me. She took a lot of gabs on my behalf. Then when me, brother and husband went to the first floor, she started humiliating my mother and father. Saying that why would they come to their house for a mere festival. Due to the spiritual and ritual differences between those families, she wanted everything to happen her way. She made my mother cry. My mother called my brother down and asked to leave. I saw she was crying and i knew in one moment that that monster made her cry. My parents left and i called my mom and asked what happened. I was very angry, i was crying and i again privately talked to my husband about it. He started frantically yelling at me and we fought again because of his mother. the entire night i was unable to sleep and i was crying a lot. When he woke up after taking his nap, he saw that i haven't slept and was crying. What does he do? He started yelling and critisising me and my parents for making anything bigger than what it is. We fought for 4-5 hours. He said some hurtful stuff about my parents and me. I did the same. The argument got to a level that we were talking about divorce and he said he would be much happier if i went away from his life. I was totally shook and said i want to leave to my parent's house. The husband packed my bags and when my parents came to pick me up, he brought my luggage and me to throw out of his house. Continuing this in next part...
submitted by Human-997 to self [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 21:14 YouExcellent1831 I just walked out on my first ever sous chef position. Contemplating leaving industry.

Context:
I am 25. I grew up in a family who owned and operated pizzerias in NY. I had started working on the register when I was 13 and started summer jobs as a Bussehost when I was 14. The restaurants I worked FOH were 4star high end (worked for 3). I have also always had a serious passion for cooking. When I was 18 I moved out of my home and began working for a dairy farm, then transitioned to a smoothie/salad/vegan gluten free oriented places (19-21). I was a manager making specials like gf desserts, ready to eat salads, and also worked on their equivalent of a “line”. It was not refined whatsoever, clean, simple food. Did that for 2 years. Then quit during Covid after having tremendous stress, after helping reorient the entire business to be more grocery focused as we had a store front with organic, superfood tonics, meats, plant based stuff, etc. I had issues with the kitchen manager as she treated me differently than the other staff. I immediately applied for a junior sous position at a restaurant that was upscale dining, and after a trial day they were willing to train me on garde manger. I worked their and trained under two very capable chefs who were willing to teach me everything. One 36m another 29m who was actually head chef. I moved my way up to hotline after a yr and a half and was enjoying the job, environment, coworkers, and we would do about 200 covers a night in the summer. I carried on with the company for another year even after my head chef gave a months notice and took a much better more cdc job for a larger more high end company. I took on more responsibilities and and finally decided I had reached my ceiling of learning from that restaurant and I wanted to move overseas to broaden my skillset and resume but felt like I picked the wrong country/restaurants as the food was not on par even with the smoothie salad place I started at. I moved home a year later (2024) and was offered by my now cdc chef, same one who trained me and really vouched for me. I executed a 7 course tasting for the first time ever, dishes ranging from quiche, to pork chop, sole(which I had never cooked before), chicken pot pie, croquettes, salad, basque cheesecake, I made my own stock even, and I had a day of prep and the following day to plate. I landed the job over 4 other people. It was for a “family oriented” but upscale bistro as it was on main street in a very affluent town in NY. We have investors, had a full reno as the spot had been a local favorite for 30 years a recently sold. We lost a lot of time we were supposed to be in the kitchen and the prospective opening day was for May 3rd. It got pushed back to the 10th, friends and family 7th and 8th, training of staff was 5th and 6th, while simultaneously doing recipe testing with chefs that had been brought in from other existing locations. Unbeknownst to my cdc, the investor, and restaurant owner, they hired a head chef from nyc that made good food, but could not complete 95% of tasks that were crucial to opening a restaurant, onboarding employees, understanding the kind of volume our town does in summer, actually cooking volume, properly executing recipes, having any recipes of his own that weren’t fresh off google, said he spoke Spanish and then couldn’t communicate to our staff which were all Hispanic spare 1 line cook I hired and use to work with at my first job, the wastage was off the charts, he couldn’t do inventory properly, and spent half of the time speaking constantly and ignoring everyone thinking he’s “working hard”. I took it upon myself to try and execute recipes I had 3 days to learn, make stocks, train employees and learn how to schedule, organize a kitchen from the top down, clean kitchen after a full Reno, and my cdc and the business owner kept assuring me it was not my fault that things were going sideways and that the head chef was completely incompetent and they were actively looking for a replacement. I couldn’t keep up with the prep as hard as I tried, the walk in was a disaster. Felt like every time I organized it my head chef would receive an order and do things like put raw chicken on top of produce. I found cheeses on shelves and raw ground beef in dry storage left out overnight bc of him. He would just constantly talk and talk and talk about everything and nothing, call me in the off hours to talk about a tart mold that he wanted to make in house for 2 hours. Mention things I could do to loose weight, and it was just constant stimulation leading up to the actual opening and during. All the while he would delegate every single one of the the more complex recipe tasks to our untrained employees (sauce work, chopping herbs for garnish, cutting salmon, tuna for line and for Tartares) and I felt obligated to try and pick up as much of his slack. And if I’m being realistic, I as much as the owner and former cdc who hired me believed in me, I still had a lot of refinement to do in my skillset. I have very shakey hands by nature so my knife skills leave a lot to be desired. Also I can’t just bang out a beurre blanc or mornay without thinking about it. I still have to watch and follow a recipe a few time to get the hang of it even though I understand the principles well. I anticipated a balance between my head chef and I and direction. And the worst part is, he would agree to certain tasks and I was the only one trying to organize our flow of prep, made a detailed prep list because his made absolutely no sense, and we would split tasks, I’d execute mine, and he would spend 4 hours chopping mushrooms and par cooking them even though the pick up was raw as per the owner and cdc. It was absolutely maddening. I started having break downs everyday after work NEVER on site; even when to a psychiatrist in between one of our friends and family days to get the non narcotic equivalent of Xanax. I ended up walking out yesterday (13th). More like called and said I wasn’t coming back after my first day off in a week of straight 14 hour days constantly trying to pick up the pieces my head left behind. I have never walked out a job. But now after all of this, I am questioning whether I will ever be able to have a management position in the kitchen. Asking myself, did I progress too quickly? Am I just not capable? Have I completely exhausted myself in the kitchen? Also, I am sober spare nicotene which I consume like an absolute fiend right now. Any insight is appreciated. Please feel free to ask for more context as this is quite the ramble. Also have photos for reference of the food I’ve cooked over the years .
submitted by YouExcellent1831 to Chefit [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 21:14 Select_Green_1106 The 7 Best Bitcoin & Crypto Casinos Reviewed in 2024

The online casino industry has experienced an explosion in popularity in recent years and, in part, that's down to the legalisation of iGaming in a selection of US states that has allowed the industry to spread around the world. Of course, online casinos have come a long way since the early days. Now, there are more casino games than ever and, along with the increase in these, there are more and more payment methods. This means that crypto gambling is now with us, and this has brought a whole new audience to iGaming. With so many sites to choose from, how do you find the best bitcoin casino? How do you know what goes into making the best crypto casino? Should you be paying attention to new bitcoin casino sites? As you read on, that's what we're going to be exploring.
An Overview Of The Best Bitcoin and Crypto Casinos
If you're someone who likes to jump right in, and take a snapshot, to follow you'll find our summary of the crypto casino market and discover the ones that we think are the best. If you're someone who seeks more detail, we have you covered too, but you'll need to read on. So, here's a look at the best bitcoin casinos, as well as those accepting other top cryptocurrencies:
As you read on, we'll be exploring the best bitcoin casinos in more detail. We'll be delving into the range of bitcoin casino games, and how these compare to traditional online casinos. We'll also be looking at the cryptocurrencies that are accepted, as well as everything else you need to know about banking methods. If that's not enough, we'll be going into detail about the bitcoin casino sites and the bonuses on offer ( we know you'll be looking for free spins, an attractive match bonus, as well as VIP programs), as well as exploring the customer service on offer.

The Heybets Crypto Casino Site

There's no denying that Heybets is one of the top bitcoin casinos around. As well as offering a great online casino experience, there is also an attractive sportsbook where you can enjoy sports betting on the top action. This means that you can play games, and win in the best sporting events, all in the same place.
Let's have a closer look at what makes this one of the best bitcoin gambling sites:
Heybets and Crypto Casino Games
While there's plenty to consider when looking for the best bitcoin casino, there's no escaping the fact that the range of casino games matters. There needs to be plenty to keep players entertained, there need to be provably fair games, and sports betting is an added bonus. Here's what Heybets has to offer:
Slot Games
With traditional online casinos, slot games are the staple of what's on offer. These are the most popular casino games out there, and so you'd expect the best bitcoin casino sites to perform well here. The good news is that Heybets certainly delivers here. There are classic slots, jackpot slots, and those with stunning bonus rounds. Just a few of the titles include:
While the number of slots matters, for a site to be the best bitcoin casino, the quality matters too. Fortunately, the games here only come from the best providers, such as:
This just goes to show that you can rely on online crypto casinos if you're one of the many slot fans out there.
Table and Card Games
Something else that makes Heybets one of the best cryptocurrency casinos is the fact that it also caters well for fans of other games. Here, you'll find a selection of classics, such as:
Live Casino Games
Heybets also has a great range of live dealer games. You can enjoy live versions of blackjack, roulette, and baccarat. Thanks to the fact that the live casino is powered by Evolution Gaming, you can also make the most of live game shows, such as Dream Catcher and Monopoly Big Baller.
Banking and Crypto Transactions
As with all gambling websites, the payment methods on offer are important when it comes to choosing an online casino to play at. The top bitcoin casino sites allow players to use a range of cryptocurrencies, as well as supporting other methods that you'd find at fiat casinos. Ay Heybets, you can use the following to fund your account and play casino games:
While there's plenty of choice here, what would make this stronger would be the inclusion of the likes of Dogecoin and Tether.
When considering more traditional methods of depositing and withdrawing, Heybets also allows you to use bank wire. There are no fees when using this option for fiat currencies, but users of crypto will need to be aware of the relevant GAS fees.
Heybets and Bonuses and promotions
As you'd expect from a site that could well be considered the best bitcoin casino, there are a host of bonuses and promotions here. Let's get the bad news out of the way with first: this crypto casino does not offer a welcome bonus. With that out of the way, let's take a look at the bonuses and promotions on offer for existing players. While these change on a regular basis, these are the ones that are a constant:
Raise Your Arm Zeus
This bonus comes into play when you're playing the online slot, Gates of Olympus. You'll activate the bonus at this bitcoin casino if you manage to win 20x - 100x from the free spins feature. If you're in luck, this leads to this crypto casino boosting your winnings by 100%.
Extra Juice
The lack of a welcome bonus doesn't seem to sting quite so much when you look at the likes of Extra Juice. This bonus kicks in on a selection of new casino games. It can lead to winnings being boosted by 7%.
Sports Betting
While our focus is on online casinos, it's worth noting that Heybets also offers a range of ongoing bonuses and promotions for customers of its sportsbook.
Loyalty Program
If you're looking for the bitcoin casino with the best loyalty rewards then Heybets is it. The VIP program here has 5 tiers, and each comes with its own rewards. To enter at the bronze level, you need to have wagered at least $2,500. With this, you can enjoy 5% cashback on all bets. Reach diamond and you'll benefit from 10% cashback as well as exclusive bonuses and rewards. This certainly makes this site stand out from other bitcoin casinos.
Heybets Customer Service
With online gambling, it's a must that a site offers great customer support. At Heybets, you can be sure that you're covered here. Just like all relatively new bitcoin casino sites, there's a need for Heybets to go above and beyond to inspire confidence. It certainly does that with almost instant responses on its live chat which is staffed by knowledgable and polite agents. The only downside is that this isn't available 24/7.
Mobile Experience
While this bitcoin online casino doesn't have a dedicated app, players can still play games via their mobile browsers. The casino games here are compatible with mobile devices thanks to HTML5 technology and the work of the developers behind them.
Summing up the Heybets Online Crypto Casino
Let's sum up the pros and cons, and see what makes this online casino one that's worthy of your attention:
Pros:
Cons:

The Metaspins Bitcoin Casino

When looking at the best bitcoin casinos, Metaspins is another online gambling site that can't be ignored. If you're the kind of player seeking an attractive deposit bonus, then you'll be more than happy with what's on offer here. As we get into the detail, you'll soon see why Metaspins deserves a place on our list of the best bitcoin casinos.
Metaspins and Bitcoin Games
Something that is clear when looking at the best BTC casinos is that there is no shortage when it comes to the range of games that there are to choose from. What puts Metaspins in the running for the best bitcoin casino site is the fact that there are more than 2,500 games to explore. Given that this site was only launched in 2022, it can still be considered to be one of the new bitcoin casino sites, so there's a good chance that the range of games will only grow. Let's take a closer look at what's on offer now:
Slot Games
What makes Metaspins one of the best crypto casinos is the range of slots that can be played. These are provably fair games, and they come from some of the best providers in the business. In fact, what makes the range of slots so exciting here is the sheer number of providers that Metaspins works with. There are more than 30 of these, including the likes of:
You can expect to come across some of the most popular slot titles, such as Gonzo'a Quest, Starburst, and Dark King: Forbidden Riches. For fans of jackpot slots, there's a great range of these too, including Jackpot Quest and Rainbow Jackpots Power Lines.
Table and Card Games
As you'd expect from a site in the ranks of the best bitcoin casino, there's more to this BTC casino than slots. There's also a great range of table and card games, meaning that Metaspins is an attractive destination for fans of all casino games. The games that you'll find cover all the classics such as:
Live Casino Games
Like many of the best crypto casinos, Metaspins also has an impressive range of live games. These come from top developers such as Swintt and Evolution Gaming. When gambling online here, there are traditional titles to choose from, including live poker games, as well as game show experiences. such as Crazy Time and Boom City.
Banking and Crypto Transactions
This crypto casino accepts a range of cryptocurrencies. This is good news for players as it means that can find the crypto that suits them. The other great thing at this crypto casino is that, if you don't happen to have any crypto of your own, you can use VISA or MasterCard to purchase some. The cryptos available include:
As bitcoin online casinos go, this is an impressive showing and will be a major draw for new players.
Metaspins Bonuses and Promotions
A major part of online casinos is the welcome bonus money that's up for grabs. Alongside this, players also like to see reload bonuses, cashback, free spins and even no deposit bonuses (although these are a little on the rare side). With that in mind, let's take a look at what this bitcoin casino has to offer:
Metaspins Welcome Bonus
The welcome bonus offered here is certainly attractive, and is bound to catch the eye of many players. As one of the best bitcoin casino sites, Metaspins offers a 100% match bonus up to a maximum of 1 btc. That means that if you were to deposit 0.5 btc, you'd then be rewarded with another 0.5, meaning that you had 1 btc to play with. The only watch out here is the wagering requirements. They come in at 40x, and they need to be met within 7 days. This could prove a little tricky if you were to take advantage of the maximum bonus money offered.
Deposit and Get
As deposit bonuses go, this one we think is extremely impressive. It really is as simple as it sounds: you continue to make deposits, and you can be certain that you'll get rewards. You just need to keep an eye on your rewards panel. When you see a notification, give it a click and see what you've been given. Some of the rewards on offer are:
These ongoing rewards mean that there are plenty of reasons for players to stay loyal to, what we believe, is one of the best bitcoin casinos.
Sports Betting
Just like many of the other best bitcoin casinos, Metaspins also has an impressive sports betting section. There are separate bonuses to be enjoyed here.
Metaspins Customer Service
To be seen as one of the best crypto casino sites, there's a need for online gambling platforms to offer outstanding customer service. Bitcoin casinos are still relatively new, and knowing that the company is there when you need it matters even more than it does at traditional sites. Metaspins delivers here, with 24/7 live chat, as well as a detailed FAQ section. The fact that customer support is always there means that this truly is one of the top bitcoin casinos.
Mobile Experience
This btc casino doesn't have a dedicated app as yet, but that doesn't mean the games can't be enjoyed on the go. Simply by using your mobile browser, you can access Metaspins from any mobile device and enjoy the full crypto casino experience, no matter where you are.
Summing Up the Metaspins Crypto Casino
As before, now's the time to round up the pros and cons of this crypto casino site, so that you can decide if this is one that you want to play at:
Pros:
Cons:

The Immerion Bitcoin Casino Site

If you're looking for crypto casino sites that feature all of the classics that you're already a fan of, then Immerion could well be the crypto casino for you. As you read on, we'll be looking at just what's on offer here. As well as considering the crypto casino games, we'll also be looking at everything else that you need to know Let's get started.
Inmerion Crypto Casino Games
With online gambling, players like to see a wide range of games. It's fair to say that when compared to other bitcoin casinos and fiat casinos, Inmerion has an impressive showing. There are more than 5,000 bitcoin casino games to be played, and we're going to explore these in more detail now:
Slots
You may think that Inmerion is the best crypto casino based on the number of slots alone. There are more than 3,000 of these to choose from, meaning that even the most ardent slot fans have plenty to keep them entertained. What we like here is that the number of slots isn't overwhelming thanks to the filters that can be used. You can set filters to search by provider, RTP, max win, and volatility.
Among this vast number of slots, you're going to come across new titles, as well as many classics, such as:
Table and Card Games
For gambling sites to be among the best, there needs to be more on offer than slots. Inmerion does well here with a range of other games:
Live Dealer Games
Many crypto casinos give some attention to live dealer games, but here you'll find that there are more than 300 to choose from. There are all of the classic games, as well as the game show titles that Evolution Gaming excels at.
Banking Options
As you'd expect from one of the top bitcoin casinos, Inmerion has a range of cryptos that you can play with. You can make deposits and withdrawals using:
Something else that we like here is that there's no minimum deposit so this is an online gambling site for players of all budgets.
Inmerion's Bitcoin Casino Bonus
Whether it's a healthy welcome bonus, a loyalty program, or reloads that appeal, btc casinos need to have something special on offer to be classed as the best. Let's take a look at what Inmerion has to offer:
Welcome Bonus
As it stands, there is no Immerion welcome bonus on offer. This may be a letdown for some players who can't benefit from their first deposit. However, there are other casino bonuses to enjoy.
Engine of Fortune
This is a daily bonus that allows you to spin the wheel of fortune. You need to have deposited at least $50 in the last 24 hours and then you can spin. The prizes on offer include free spins, cash, and a more than impressive top prize of 5 btc.
Daily Cashback
No matter who plays at this online crypto casino, they can all benefit from the ongoing cashback offer. Each and every day you benefit from receiving 20% of your losses from the previous day. This is something that really appeals and certainly puts Inmerion in the running for the best bitcoin casino.
Sports Betting
This is another of the best crypto casinos that has an attractive sports book, along with some great bonuses.
Inmerion Customer Service
Reputable casinos need to be there for their customers. There need to be ways that customers can reach out and have their queries resolved in a timely manner. Here, you'll find that live chat is on hand 24/7 to deal with any issues. What we also liked was the fact that there is separate support for those wanting assistance with deposits and withdrawals.
Mobile Experience
Just like the other other crypto casinos that we've looked at so far, there is no mobile app here. However, you can still enjoy Inmerion online gambling via your smartphones and tablets via your mobile browser. Nothing is lost when compared to the desktop experience, and it allows you to enjoy all that Inmerion has to offer with added convenience.
Summing up the Inmerion Crypto Casino
That brings us towards the end of our look at this bitcoin gambling site. Before we move on to the next, let's sum up the pros and cons:
Pros:
Cons:

The BC Game Online Casino

As we continue to explore the best bitcoin gambling sites, next up is BC Game. This is a site that was established back in 2017, and there is no doubt that this is one of the most reputable btc casinos that there is. Let's take a look at what's on offer, and what makes this one of the best crypto casinos that there is.
BC Game Library
This crypto gambling platform is nothing short of mind-blowing when it comes to the number of games to choose from. At BC Game, you'll find that there are more than 9,000 to explore and that makes this crypto gambling site really stand out. What else is impressive here is that the games cater for high rollers as well as those with a more conservative budget. Let's take a look at just what there is here:
Slot Games
Like other bitcoin casinos that we've looked at so far, there are plenty of slots to enjoy here. Alongside titles that you'll find at other crypto casinos, BC Game also has a host of exclusive games that you won't find anywhere else. The remainder of the library is made up of titles from providers such as Play 'n Go, Microgaming, NetEnt, and Quickspin. Just some of the slots you'll find here include:
What we like here is that you can spin with bets as low as $0.01 so these games are accessible to all.
If you're a fan of jackpot slots, you'll find that there are more than 150 progressives here, with the chance to win life-changing amounts.
Table and Card Games
With so many games overall, it's probably unsurprising that there's also a great selection of table and card games too. Here, you can play classics such as:
Live Dealer Games
BC Game also has live dealer games like the other btc casinos that we've looked at so far. These come from the best in the business, namely Evolution Gaming and Pragmatic Play. In truth, the selection here isn't as wide as it is at other crypto casinos, but there is still plenty to keep you entertained.
Banking Options at BC Game
Just like other crypto casinos that make our list of the best, BC Game has plenty of options to choose from. While there are no alternatives away from crypto, the number of these that you can play and withdraw your winnings with is impressive. Some of those that you can use include:
BC Game Bonuses
This bitcoin casino also comes with some attractive bonuses and promotions that are sure to appeal to players everywhere. Here's a look at what's up for grabs
Welcome Bonus
The welcome bonus here is a little different compared to that at other crypto casinos. That's because it's spread over your first 4 deposits. Here's how it's broken down:
The wagering requirements are 40x. While this may be common it does make it a little difficult to take full advantage of what's offered.
No Deposit Bonuses
Right now, BC Game is also offering a no deposit bonus for new players who sign up. Simply by joining, you can claim $5 worth of free spins that can be used on the Lucky Wheel. Prizes can be up to $500 or come in a variety of cryptocurrencies.
Loyalty Rewards
Players in the VIP program can enjoy higher payouts, free spins, and a host of other rewards. Once a player reaches level 22, you're also given the chance to play with the Super Spin. This is a version of the Lucky Wheel that comes with even more rewards, with the chance to pocket 3 btc.
Sports Betting
Like the other bitcoin casinos that we've looked at so far, BC Game also has a sportsbook that comes with its own bonuses and rewards.
BC Game Customer Service
We're impressed with this crypto casino and the levels of support that are on offer. Firstly, there's the 24/7 live chat function. This is staffed by knowledgeable agents who provide speedy responses. As well as this, there is also the option to reach out via email. This takes longer to receive a reply, but when it does come it is detailed and resolves most issues.
Mobile Experience
If you're wanting to play on the go, BC Game has an impressive mobile app. This can be downloaded on both iOS and Android devices and provides a truly outstanding experience. If you'd rather not download, you can also play via your mobile browser.
Summing up the BC Game Crypto Casino
If you're still trying to decide if this casino is for you, here's an overview of the pros and cons:
Pros:
Cons:

Stake Online Casino Site

If you have ever explored crypto casinos, there's a very good chance that you have come across the name, Stake. Why? Well, it's widely regarded as one of the best out there. As you keep reading, we're going to delve into the details and show you why.
Stake Game Selection
While Stake may not have as many games as we've seen at BC Game, there are still more than 2,000 to choose from. In truth, this is plenty to keep players entertained, and the good news is that each and every title is truly exceptional. Let's take a look:
Online Slots
Slots are a major draw for players, and Stake certainly delivers in this area. You'll find a wide range of titles, with those that are instantly recognisable such as:
Alongside top providers, such as NetEnt, Push Gaming, and Wazdan, there are also Stake original slots. If you give these a try, we're sure that you'll be impressed.
Table and Card Games
Just like the other best bitcoin casino sites, at Stake, you'll discover a great selection of classic casino games. Whether you're a fan of blackjack, excited by the spin of the wheel, or looking to take a chance with baccarat, Stake has you covered. The only game lacking here is poker. If your casino experience is based on video poker, you may need to play elsewhere.
Live Casino Games
You're sure to be impressed with what's on offer in terms of live dealer games. The lobby is bursting with titles coming from Evolution and Pragmatic Play. There are also titles from Bombay Live Games. This means that Stake has everything covered, and offers a live experience that's second to none.
Banking Options
As you'd expect from an operator that makes our list of the best bitcoin casinos, there are plenty of payment options to choose from. While this is a 100% crypto site, the good news is that you're not just limited to one or two of these. Just some of the ones you can use include:
In total, Stake accepts 20 cryptocurrencies, so there's sure to be one that you're comfortable using.
Bonuses at Stake Casino
Before we explore the bonuses and promotions that Stake has to offer, let's first look at what's not up for grabs. At Stake, there is no welcome bonus on offer right now. There's no first deposit bonus or free spins. Why? Well, Stake is confident that it has enough to offer, and can attract new players with ease. With that out of the way, let's take a look at what you can take advantage of:
Daily Race
There is a prize pool worth $100,000 every day. When you play casino games, or wager at the sports book, you have the chance to win from this.
Weekly Giveaway
Each week there's the chance to share in a prize fund worth $75,000. To take part, you need to wager $1,000 for a ticket.
Multiplier Race
If you reach the highest multiplier on specified games, you may walk away with the top prize of $10,000.
Loyalty Program
Stake has an attractive loyalty program. However, before you enter the first level, you need to wager at least $10,000. This makes this a program for true high rollers. The rewards on offer include rakeback and daily bonuses.
Stake Customer Service
Just like other operators that we class as being among the best crypto casinos, at Stake there is a live chat option. This is available 24/7 and offers a great way to resolve any queries. You can expect a speedy response from agents who are polite and courteous.
Mobile Experience
Stake doesn't have a dedicated mobile app right now. However, you can still play on the go by going directly through your mobile browser. This means that you can play on any tablet or smartphone, without the need to download.
Summing up the Stake Casino Site
Before we move on to the next of the best crypto casinos, here's a look at the pros and cons of Stake:
Pros:
Cons:

Wild.io Bitcoin Casino


As we continue our reviews of the best crypto casinos, next up it's Wild.io. As you'll see as you read on, this is a site that comes with an attractive welcome bonus as well as an impressive lobby. Let's take a look in more detail and see what else Wild.io has to offer:
Wild.io Games Selection
A common theme among the best crypto casinos is the wide range of games that can be played. Over at Wild.io, there are around 2,500 of these to explore. This means that there's never any danger of losing interest, no matter what type of games you're a fan of. Let's take a closer look:
Wild.io Slots
As bitcoin casinos, as well as traditional ones, go the range of slots here is certainly impressive. There are more than 2,000 of these to choose from, and you can expect to see these coming from the likes of Pragmatic Play, NetEnt, Gamzix, and others. Some of the top titles that you'll be able to play include:
Table and Card Games
While Wild.io is one of the more impressive bitcoin casinos, we can't help feeling that there could be a little more on offer in this section. As it stands there are just 26 games to choose from. To be fair, all of the basics are covered, but we'd love to see this range expanded.
Live Dealer Games
This section seems to be a work in progress. As you click to enter the live area, it says that there are currently no games to play. However, there is a detailed explanation of how live bitcoin games work. This is something to be monitored as it surely means live games are on their way.
Banking Options at Wild.io
When comparing Wild.io to other bitcoin casinos, it's fair to say that there's a wide range of currencies that can be used. Here, you can choose between using:
Wild.io Bonuses
Wild.io is one of the very best bitcoin casinos when it comes to the offers that it has. Let's take a look at these now:
Welcome Bonus
As bitcoin casino bonuses go, the welcome bonus here is very attractive. Rather than just being based on your first deposit, it's a package spread across your first three:
The wagering requirements for all three bonuses are 40x.
Wheel of Fortune
If you deposit at least $20 you can spin the Wheel of Fortune every day. Prizes can be as much as $1,000, and there are plenty of free spins up for grabs too. There is also the Jungle Wheel for VIPs. This wheel brings bigger rewards but requires a minimum deposit of $100.
Weekly Spotlight
Each week, Wild.io nominates a game that is in the spotlight. When you wager on the specified game, you're rewarded with more loyalty points.
Wild Weekends
Each Friday, Wild.io launches a promotion for the weekend. This could be a reload matched deposit bonus, free spins, or anything else that the operator decides to offer.
Rakeback and Cashback
The higher up you are in the VIP program you are, the more you can claim back. You can recover anywhere between 1% and 20% of your weekly losses.
Loyalty Program
Every player is automatically enrolled. The more you wager, the more points you have and the higher you claim. Each level has exclusive offers such as free spins and matched deposits. There are also other perks such as higher maximum withdrawals.
Wild.io Customer Service
Like the other bitcoin casinos that we've looked at, the customer service on offer at Wild.io is impressive. With a live chat function that is available 24/7, you can reach out whenever you need any assistance. When we gave this a try, we had an almost instant response meaning that our query was resolved quickly. There is also a chatbot to help with queries.
Mobile Experience
As it stands, there is no Wild.io mobile app. To enjoy this casino on the go, you can play via your mobile browser.
Summing up the Wild.io Casino
Before we move onto the final of our bitcoin casinos, here's a rundown of the pros and cons of Wild.io:
Pros:
Cons:

Jackbit Crypto Casino


Jackbit is the final operator to make our list that looks at the best bitcoin casino. With a great game selection and free spins up for grabs, you'll soon see why we rate this crypto casino so highly. Let's get into the detail now:
Jackbit Games Library
Established in 2022, Jackbit has quickly expanded its library so that it now exceeds 6,000 titles. There are plenty of slots to choose from, as well as an impressive range of table games. The live casino is also of note. Let's take a closer look:
Slots
There is certainly no shortage of slots at Jackbit. There are thousands of games to choose from, and these come from some of the best providers around. The likes of Yggdrasil, Red Tiger, and Microgaming mean that the quality is exceptional. Just some of the titles you will find include:
Table and Card Games
While some casinos only pay lip service to games other than slots, Jackbit is a little different. There is a vast range of choices here that covers all of the games that you could ever want to play. When you look at roulette alone, there are some 56 variations just of this game so you can imagine how vast the whole offerings are.
Live Casino
If live games are your thing, you'll find over 200 of these at Jackbit. As you'd expect, the classics are all covered, but there's also the inclusion of game show titles courtesy of Evolution. Just some of these include:
Banking Options at Wild.io
You can use a range of cryptocurrencies to play at Jackbit. If you don't happen to own any crypto, you can use your debit or credit card to purchase through the site. Some of the currencies that can used include:
Jackbit Casino Bonuses
If you're a fan of free spins, the Jackbit crypto casino may well be of interest to you. Let's take a look at why.
Jackbit First Deposit Bonus
When you make your first deposit at Jackbit, you're rewarded with 50 free spins that can be used on the Lazy Sheriff slot. What makes this bonus really attractive is the wagering requirements: wager once and any winnings are then yours.
Jackbit Loyalty Program
The loyalty program here has its focus on rakeback. As you wager more and move up the levels (Rookie to Legend), the greater the percentage of rakeback you're entitled to.
Customer Service
The Jackbit casino allows players to get in touch via live chat or email. The live chat option is there 24/7 and this is a big plus. There was a slight delay in being connected when we gave it a try, but after that the responses were all pretty much instant and we found our query being resolved very quickly.
Mobile Experience
There is currently no Jackbit mobile app. If you want to play via your smartphone or tablet, you can do this via your mobile browser. You'll find that the games translate well to the smaller screen and nothing is lost in terms of the experience.
Summing up the Jackbit Casino
Let's finish by taking a look at the pros and cons of this bitcoin casino:
Pros:
Cons:
Bitcoin Casinos FAQ
Are Bitcoin casinos safe?
Like any online casino, safety depends on the platform's reputation. Look for casinos with positive user reviews, provably fair games, and proper licensing.
What are provably fair games?
Provably fair games use cryptography to allow players to verify the randomness and fairness of each game round themselves, giving more transparency than traditional online casinos.
What types of games can I play at Bitcoin casinos?
Many Bitcoin casinos offer a wide variety of games, including slots, and table games (like blackjack and roulette.he online casino industry has experienced an explosion in popularity in recent years and, in part, that's down to the legalisation of iGaming in a selection of US states that has allowed the industry to spread around the world. Of course, online casinos have come a long way since the early days. Now, there are more casino games than ever and, along with the increase in these, there are more and more payment methods. This means that crypto gambling is now with us, and this has brought a whole new audience to iGaming. With so many sites to choose from, how do you find the best bitcoin casino? How do you know what goes into making the best crypto casino? Should you be paying attention to new bitcoin casino sites? As you read on, that's what we're going to be exploring.
An Overview Of The Best Bitcoin and Crypto Casinos
If you're someone who likes to jump right in, and take a snapshot, to follow you'll find our summary of the crypto casino market and discover the ones that we think are the best. If you're someone who seeks more detail, we have you covered too, but you'll need to read on. So, here's a look at the best bitcoin casinos, as well as those accepting other top cryptocurrencies:
As you read on, we'll be exploring the best bitcoin casinos in more detail. We'll be delving into the range of bitcoin casino games, and how these compare to traditional online casinos. We'll also be looking at the cryptocurrencies that are accepted, as well as everything else you need to know about banking methods. If that's not enough, we'll be going into detail about the bitcoin casino sites and the bonuses on offer ( we know you'll be looking for free spins, an attractive match bonus, as well as VIP programs), as well as exploring the customer service on offer.

The Heybets Crypto Casino Site

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2024.05.14 21:14 callit_fiction Is it difficult to return a spin serve with new racket?

The last time I played this game with competitive intent was back in 2012 and I was a fairly decent player. Between then and now I played once in a semi drunk state back in 2018. I recently visited my cousins and they had a new board installed so I decided to play a few rounds to check how well would I hold up now. I was certain I would still be better than my cousins. After playing a few sets I was certain I still got the composure but my technique were quite off. I played a few sets with younger cousins who were probably at the early phase of the game. Enter my elder cousins who too haven't played in a long while but were probably decent player at their youth. We acknowledged that we both were decent players as the sets were much more intense and entertaining until my older cousin decided to do the spin serve that you use to get ez points against fairly beginner players. As the rackets were new it felt impossible to return the serve no matter how hard I tried. I too tried the spin serve early against my younger cousins and they too couldn't return them to which I thought it's probably due to skill issue as they were fairly new to such serve technique. One of my younger cousin did try to use the spin serve but it wasn't effective against me as he lacked proper technique. Coming back to my elder cousin's serve he has proper technique and I didn't manage to return a single serve and lost based on the serves. At some point it was just us duking each other with our best serve as both of us couldn't return the serves. This went on few rounds of rotation until I started getting really frustrated and decided to change the racket with a semi worn out rubber grip. With this said racket I was able to return the serve with relative ease and later even managed to smash off the serves. I felt kinda happy with the progress and had some beers in between rounds. I started getting abit tipsy and now I was playing a lot better to the point where I had to lose game on purpose just so I could take some break and not get bored.
TLDR- Does the new racket makes it harder to return the spin serve. I also felt the new racket makes the pace of the ball quick and difficult to hit the area of the board I intended. It's easier to serve with the new racket as it provides extra spin to the ball. I noticed this as I had bought a new racket back then when I used to play against better players than me but I never had problem with returning their serves back then with the new racket.
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