Hi my love, my name is Dahani (point for you if you know how to pronounce that) and I am a very feminine individual who dresses and lives everyday as a woman. In other words, I’m trans but I don’t really like using the label and wish not to take that away from actual trans men and women.
I’m here looking for my long distance boyfriend! I don’t mind online dating and I actually believe that dating online can be done if both parties are opened and honest with each other.
More than anything I’m looking for a friend, someone I can call and talk to about my day, work, movies, games, life, etc. and vice versa. I want to be someone’s “person” you know when you’re talking to your friends and I call and you say that “it’s your person” I think that’s so cute.
You’re body shape, race, sexuality don’t matter to me, I do prefer if you’re either older than me or around the same age as me (27) everything else is just extra!
My phone is sssuupppeerrr dry so long distanced boyfriend ppppllleeeaaasseee hurry!!
I want to do all the cute long distance things couples do like ABC date and video chat date where we dress up as if we were going out in person. Just all the cute things we can do so I can make a cute collage video and post it online for the world to see…..ok ok that’s a bit much but yeah ABC dating and having virtual dates is for sure ideal!
Ok this post is long enough and I’m sure you’re a busy man but if you happen to stumble upon this and by some miracle you enjoyed reading this well then when’s the wedding?

Hi my love, my name is Dahani (points for you if you know how to pronounce that) and I am a very feminine individual who dresses and lives everyday as a woman. In other words, I’m trans but I don’t really like using the label and wish not to take that away from actual trans men and women.
I’m here looking for my long distance boyfriend! I don’t mind online dating and I actually believe that dating online can be done successfully if both parties are opened and honest with each other.
More than anything I’m looking for a friend, someone I can call and talk to about my day, work, movies, games, life, etc. and vice versa. I want to be someone’s “person” you know when you’re talking to your friends and I call and you say that “it’s your person” I think that’s so cute.
You’re body shape, race, sexuality don’t matter to me, I do prefer if you’re either older than me or around the same age as me (27) everything else is just extra!!
My phone is sssuuupperrr dry! So long distanced boyfriend ppppllleeeaaasseee hurry!!
I want to do all the cute long distance things couples do like ABC date and video chat date where we dress up as if we were going out in person. Just all the cute things we can do so I can make a cute collage video and post it online for the world to see…..ok ok that’s a bit much but yeah ABC dating and having virtual dates is for sure ideal!
Ok this post is long enough and I’m sure you’re a busy man but if you happen to stumble upon this and by some miracle you enjoyed reading this well then when’s the wedding?

This is the first time I have had a truly negative experience with inlaws (I’ve been lucky I know), And maybe im out of line somewhere but its been weighing heavy on me for a while now. Warning this is very long im sorry!
Me and my bf have been living together for a year now and our SIL and my bfs brother are neighours. When I first moved in I thought the dynamic would be so fun and we could all hangout together! My boyfriend however, was never crazy about the idea. Now I see why.
Anyway, time goes on and my bf and I wanted to go to a rodeo and I thought it would be fun to go us 4 (us and the BIL/SIL). So we invite them and they tag along. When we showed up we realized they had no beer tents or alcohol vendors there, ok that sucks but whatever we are here for the rodeo! Oh no, not my BIL. The whole time we are watching from the grand stands, it is non stop complaining about how much this sucks and that theres no booze. Finally, the main event is about to start and he decides we all need to leave because ‘this f*cking sucks!’. At this point im holding back tears because I was genuinely anticipating this event for weeks. The SIL was laughing off his behaviour and not saying anything and my bf was visibly annoyed. This was the cause of one of my boyfriend and I’s first real ‘fights’, although it wasn’t his fault; he did warn me. We didn’t have to invite them to this event but yet we did, and BIL ruined it. So that was my first red flag.
Red flag #2: Errands/favours. Every now and again they would text us and ask if we had extras of something they could use (cheese slices, water bottles, etc.) Which we are more than happy to help out once in a while! But it started becoming frequent. To the point where okay did you guys even bother to do a grocery, when they were both working in town that same day. My bf and I very rarely ask for anything as we are both very independent and organized, we usually have everything we need at the house or if not we make substitutions or do without. It was getting to the point where I couldn’t open their snapchats at the end of my shift because it was most likely them asking for us to pick up something for them. I lowkey (highkey) felt like an uber eats driver! On the other end, BIL who has a border line drinking problem always taking beers off my bf. Apparently it was much worse before I moved in but essentially BIL will ask us if we have any beers before hes finished his last one. It’s gotten to the point where he walks right into the house and opens our beer fridge to look for some (um wtf knock? this is OUR HOUSE not your kitchen also we could be naked like holy shit.) I feel like I almost have to hide my drink when I go outside because if he sees me with one he will want one. Also, both the BIL and SIL work in town, if they know they are running low they should stock up, constantly bumming stuff off us gets old really fast. My bf constantly asks his brother ‘you didnt buy yourself more?’ to which he usually replies ‘well i am out’ (what kind of answer is that lmao). And we live literally 5 minutes away from a store that sells beer, he could send his wife to get some more (but no she doesn’t want to leave the house). Needless to say, they make their poor planning and laziness OUR problem. At one point it got so bad one sunday morning his brother walked over and asked if we have cream for his coffee. We only had the starbucks flavoured creamer so we offered that and I kid you not he says ‘Ew why dont you have regular creamer i wont drink that!’ WHY DONT YOU HAVE CREAMER. Like the entitlement was insane, my bf told him to go get his own creamer and BIL huffed and puffed back to his house. After that incident they stopped for a while but as of now the beer bumming is still very much happening. Just yesterday he walked right in, asked my bf if he had any beers, he lied and said no. BIL walked to and opened our fridge and grabbed beers anyway ‘you do have beers’. Well dont you think if we said no we probably dont want you having them? The entitlement and absolute disrespect of our boundaries was evident. I feel so torn with this kind of thing because you don’t want to be rude and come off selfish by telling them no, but at the same time they are taking advantage of how close we live to each other and for them its convenient to keep doing it and I feel like its not our responsibility at a certain point. Additionally, if we did the same to them, they would not appreciate it. I also notice how my bf and I rarely ask for favours but when we do (ex. bf needs a ride to the garage), they are always conveniently busy. The whole situation is giving selfish.
Red flag #3: Disrespecting our stuff. Last summer my mom’s boyfriend had passed from cancer, and at the same time I was moving in to my bfs. She had given me their very nice blow up pool since she wont have any use for it but she didn’t want to get rid of it either because it was sentimental. We took it, blew it up in the yard and used it in the beginning of summer, it was awesome! My boyfriend had mentioned that his brother hated the way it looked in the yard and thought it looked trashy, (we share our yard but had it on our side). I thought oh well he can have his opinion but its our pool and we are allowed to have it, they also have a small pool they put on the deck for their dog so I didn’t understand the reasoning. Anyway, summer ends and I wasn’t paying much attention but the pool was out of the yard, I had assumed my bf had put it back in its box and in the shed for the winter. So spring comes along and Im walking in the backyard doing something and I notice a plastic blue thing behind the shed covered by sharp metal and wood and its really buried in there. I inspect it closer and I realize it’s the pool! Assuming it was my bf I called him upset asking why he would treat my stuff that way. He assured me it wasn’t him and that he thought that I had put it away for the winter. We both paused and knew right away what really happened. His brother had thrown it behind the shed and covered it. I was baffled at the fact that he had the audacity to take it upon himself to take something that didn’t belong to him and throw it behind the shed like garbage because he didn’t like it. If they had something on their side of the yard that I didn’t like that does NOT give me the right to get rid of it or destroy it! He could have asked us to put it away and even at that it still doesn’t give him the right to dispose of it. My bf confronted him about it and his exact words were ‘I dont give a f*ck.’ My bf has told me he has done this kind of thing before when my bf wanted to sell his budlight umbrella on market place and his brother took it upon himself to take the umbrella and burn it in the fire pit while my bf was on a work trip. I just can’t believe someone can be so inconsiderate and show no respect for another persons property.
Red flag #4: SIL is not self aware at all and has a guise of being a sweet, quiet person but her actions say different. First and foremost, she has a huge issue with the MIL, that is a whole other story but to say the least she has some valid issues with the MIL i will not deny. But, a lot of the things she detests about the MIL she is guilty of herself. In my opinion, they are very similar people and they don’t even realize it. She claims MIL has a huge issue with boundaries and always wants to be part of all the plans that they make. She argues the MIL dictates and controls the situation every time, even if its a plan they invited her to (keep that in mind later). She is right she does do that. It is a very valid thing to have an issue with but on the other end they always want to do stuff with us when we dont! In the past we do and the BIL never DD’s, always gets fucked up on booze or if there isn’t freaks out (the rodeo). The SIL excuses it thinks its cute or has an attitude of ‘aw boys will be boys’ ( drunks will behave like drunks). SIL always wants to be home early for her dog or to smoke weed or both, which is fine if she takes her own vehicle but when she doesn’t its quite a bummer for the rest of us who are having a good time and dont want to exactly leave right when the fun starts. This happens a lot at family events. When SIL wants to leave early she will usually pawn off her husband to us to drive him home, which is not pleasant most of the time when he is drinking because he gets incoherently drunk and argumentative. SIL also dislikes the fact that MIL is very performative and makes out her life to be perfect, and pretends the very real and ever going family issues don’t exist. She is partially right about that but seeing both perspectives I can honestly say SIL is just as if not more performative than MIL. The most obvious reason for her being this way is the fact that she is her husbands biggest enabler. If my bf acted the way BIL acted I would not continue the relationship, but if I did I believe your duty as a partner is to keep each other in check and grow together. Instead, she often laughs it off and has the sentiment that thats just who he is. If she wants to leave early she pretty much gives us no choice but to give him a ride and its hard to say no considering we are neighbours ‘you’ll drive him home right? i told him not to be rude this time!’ (He almost always is, and drunk or sober never says thankyou btw). SIL also does this thing that I never noticed before because it was so subtle and I am trying not to think the worst of people, but until my friends and coworkers confirmed it with me I realized it was rude. So at first, I was still getting to know SIL and I honestly thought she was super down to earth and level headed I felt like I could confide to her and truly build a friendship. To preface, my boyfriend and I have a very happy relationship, but we, just like every other couple, have disagreements from time to time. Unfortunately I chose to vent to her at first and she would always reply something along the lines of ‘my husband NEVER does that, we are so good at communicating’ or ‘My husband always likes when I do that :)’. And the first times I thought nothing of it but then it dawned on me that she wasn’t being helpful, she was just complimenting herself while also putting my relationship down. Once I noticed this, I didn’t stop noticing it. I told her once how I regretted making fun of someone in high school while I was young and dumb and she replied ‘Oh, I was always nice to everyone i met and tried to always be kind:)’. These little comments were belittling me and almost making me feel ashamed for being vulnerable and admitting fault. And it was all disguised as being nice. She will do the same thing with my bf. She will have no issue talking about his faults while in the same breath saying her husband is nothing like that and they do x y and z better. I always hold my tongue when realistically I shouldn’t. If I had the same energy towards her husband she wouldn’t be as calm as I am. The thing is I know my bfs faults and I will agree if you point them out, same goes for my own. But to use our faults against us when we confide in you and you boost yourselves up with it and disguise it as giving advice? Thats not right. Lastly, already touched on this a bit but inconveniencing favours. We ask her for a ride once in a blue moon like im talking twice or 3 times a year if that, and she’s miraculously busy. But she’ll ask us (more me because my bf doesn’t answer anymore and as of now I wont either) to pick her something up at the store after a 9 hour day at work, meanwhile she works from home and her husband works in a city where he could also do the same errand. The other day she asked my bf if I was sleeping (it was 6-7am), and my bf says yes she is. She proceeds to text me while i unfortunately forgot to turn my ringer off. Now I may have fault in this for even entertaining her but Im the type of person who opens snapchats right away, I am trying to get better at this now. So despite my bf telling her Im sleeping aka do not disturb me, she texts me to go bang on her windows because her husband forgot to set his alarm. I told her just one second I will put my pants on and get out of bed and do that for her right away. I should have told her that she interrupted my sleep and went against what my boyfriend told her but I can be bad with people pleasing so I did it anyway. She constantly tells the family she doesnt sleep well with her back pain but she had no problem with the idea of interrupting mine to wake her husband up. She also complains about people walking over her boundaries but she literally ignored my bf saying I was asleep and messaged me anyway.
I think the main problem here is that they have issues as neighbours and as family members respecting boundaries and privacy. I don’t know what else will solve these issues other than my bf really addressing it all or just plain and simple moving out, which is not what we want to do because we love our house and put so much work into it. I could also address it but I feel like they may not be as receptive to me as they would my bf. UGH sorry that was long

A couple of years ago I tried writing my own version of Stones Abbigale. I never got past the first couple scenes, but I'm considering returning to it. I wanted to basically rewrite and change up a lot of things, mainly focusing on Abbi and Davis and changing some elements. Let me know what you think!

1
It's almost four in the morning and Seth is threatening suicide again. Good. Fuck him. I hope he does it. I don't text him that because I read about this girl who told her boyfriend to kill himself. The irony was that when he actually did it she got charged with second degree murder. My life is fucked as it is I don't need to make it worse. I’m shivering under my comforter because we’re halfway through November. I think about the turkey that won't get made this year and the family I won't see. I think that's swell. Seth is still texting.
Its like u dont even care after everything that happened and after everything we did together i saved ur life and i stayed with u when u cried and i hugged u and i did everything for u but that wasn't enough was it? i try so hard and all u ever are is a bitch to me that's not fair u want me to die and u hate me and u dont even care and im sick of it abbi why is is so hard for u to care about me?
I don't respond. I don't like how I feel about this. This should be easy. He won't actually do it. He won't. He’s too self involved to kill himself. I put my phone face down on my bed. The sheets shake around it as he sends message after message. I was sleeping on a ticking bomb so I got off of it. My feet stick to the floor, I struggle to step. I might as well have been standing barefoot on ice. I trudge to my window so I can see my street at night. Winter is really coming. You can't hear as many birds as you used to. They've all gone. They've all flown away. I can see three streetlights from where I’m standing. If you can from right to left you can see the concrete fracture into the sand. I open my window and brace for the chill. I stick my head outside. The ocean is not far away. I hear it hitting the shore over and over. Waves of water splashing incessantly, almost beating out my text notifications. The street lights flicker. I think of last summer. When Seth and I got really high after the news broke that my Mom was cheating on my Dad. I was making out with that bong. Emptying bowl after bowl, clanking the glass on the road to empty it out. Just thinking about it makes me feel the street pole against my back again. I was laughing and crying. Seth leaned in and hugged me. “I’m a sure thing,” he said. “I love you and I always will.” I caught my reflection in his sunglasses. I looked awful. I shiver at the memory. My phone is still buzzing. I try to catch my breath. I shut my window and start to walk back to my bed. A room always looks different in the dark. Maybe you think you know where you are, but there is always something that can jump out at you on the floor. Like a ghostly paper bag or a vengeful shoe. Objects that seem to move on their own with the sole drive of tripping you. I crawl back into bed. There's the phantom of Dad’s snoring . I know he's not sleeping in his room, he fell asleep on the couch after finishing his seventh fifth. Sometimes my brain fills in the gaps so I can hear it everywhere. Funnily, I haven't actually heard him snore since Mom left. That's the one thing I ever heard them fight about. Before she turned out to be a whore, I guess. BZZT.BZZT.BZZT. I can't bring myself to read any of his messages. They're coming so fast all the paragraphs are lost to motion blur. Seth’s arms wrap around me and I think about the beating of his heart and the warmth of his lips against my skin. I open up the texts, ready to respond.
I love you
I text this over and over until I fall asleep.
Davis was the only senior on the bus. Somehow, everyone else had a car or a ride. It’s all right, though. James would probably give him one if he had a car, but he skated to school every morning. That's why he barely ever rode the bus with him. The bus thumped along the under paved roads. Davis forgot his earbuds at home, so the only music that accompanied him was his racing thoughts. Two sophomore girls popped their heads over. “Ohmigod, Davis!” One of them shrieked.. “As I live and breathe,” he smiled. “Nice,” she said. “I’m so excited to see your finished painting.” Davis took the lower level art class for a requirement. Like most things, he's not taking it very seriously. For their pop art unit, he's painting a portrait of the art teacher with a warthog face. It's one of his funny disruptions. He knows Mrs. Stanley is going to have a real field day with it, but it doesn't matter. Artistic liberties, he’d profess. “She's such a bitch, isn't she?” The sophomore girl turns to her compatriot, who only nods in response. “She's just jealous,” Davis says. “It must be depressing to teach art and see the youth soar above her.” “For sure,” the girl doesn't get it. Class clown is a semi-heavy burden. Davis doesn't really feel like talking to these girls, but his position demands it. Comedy informs everything about him. To the giant thrift store jeans, to the loud Hawaiian shirt. He and James are the ultimate combination, at least he likes to think so. Quiet brooding begs for bright distraction. The girl is still trying to talk to him and Davis is saying his preprogrammed lines. The bus stops in front of James’s street. Surprisingly, James is standing there. “Like I’m this close to just filling my hydroflask with vodka, yaknow?” says the chick. Maybe she's just trying to get a rise out of him. “Better be prepared to give me more than a sip,” Davis is watching James grumble towards the bus. The sun is beating down on the forming ice puddles. James stomps through them with small shattering steps. James turns up the bus aisle and plops in the seat next to Davis. Davis’s smile is genuine now, but he fights it from getting too wide. “Crash your vehicle?” Davis asks. “Something like it,” there's something off with him. Davis doesn't want to push it. “Well damn, hope insurance covers it,” Davis wants James to break and laugh. Is it just another mood or did something actually happen this time? “It won't, I got bad credit,” James grins and it's like heaven. “What's the move for you today?” “Surviving art and physics for me,” says Davis. “Those bastards love to keep me down.” “Who doesn't,” James eyes the girls who have since returned to whatever they were doing before. It's the judgement stare, as Davis calls it. James likes to observe his peers like a zoo-goer. Breaking them down to taxonomic types. Davis likes to think that James doesn't do this to him, but he knows he probably does. “It sucks you decided to be bad at school and take baby art,” James is still dissecting the sophomore girls down to their tropes. “We could have done Art II together.” “I wouldn't want to get between you and Alex. I know how you love it when people piss in jars next to you.” “That's disgusting,” James breaks his glare at the girls. “It's performance art, it's beautiful,” Davis gets up out of his seat to yell. “Everyone witness the wonderful work of Alex Madov! Disengage yourself from the shackles of capitalism by shouting with me: Poopy, pee pee, poop!” Davis gets a few chuckles from the other kids on the bus. “Sit down, fatso,” mumbles the bus driver. “I will not be silenced! I’m a messenger of the good word, sir!” “More of this shit and I’m skipping your stop!” “Fine, but I will make Alex remember on the day of judgement,” Davis sits back down. James is full belly laughing. “You're so retarded,” James wheezes. Davis can't even come back with a response. He's high off of it.
The bus pulls into the school lot with a short stop. The mobs get up and begin to race out. Davis follows James down the line. “You know Abbi?” James asks. Davis feels a little pit form in his stomach, but he doesn't change his expression. “Vaguely, what about her?” “She's in my art class,” James begins. “And I think … well you know, I’m going to talk to her.” He walks down the steps and out the door. “Doesn't she have a boyfr-” before Davis can descend the driver's arm blocks him. “I’ve had enough of your shit, kid,” he says. “If you keep being obnoxious, I’m gonna find a way to make you pay for it.” James looks back, but he can't stay. Davis knows that he's gotta get to class. James does a little wave goodbye and Davis salutes him. “Are you even listening to me?” the bus driver seethes. “Yes, sir. Divine retribution, got it.” Davis ducks underneath his arm and exits the bus. James has already disappeared into the crowd.
I pass the bong to Ashley. She starts another bowl. She’s the transport and I provide the material. The little things that keep our friendship afloat. I look at the clock in her car. “It's 8:45,” I pick a piece of bagel out of my teeth. “So that's it, we officially missed first period,” Ashley tops it off. “They won't mark us, you know. It's a study.” “Yeah, but when's the last time we signed in? I heard they're changing the policy again. Do you still have the lighter?” I toss it to her. I don't get it. It's always her idea to pick me up so we can smoke before school, why now is she suddenly caring about attendance? “We're pretty girls, we can get out of it. I’m next,” I tap on the clock. “Are you sure it's not fast?” She shakes her head as she takes a snap. We're parked in the pond area a block or two from the school. It's our designated smoking spot. I like it, even at the end of fall it's pretty. I’m so engrossed that I don't realize her tip out the bowl and put it back in the cup holder. “I don't know if it's wise to keep up the activity, we should probably get going soon,” she starts up her car again. “Okay,” I say. She reverses and swings out of the lot. We lean into the silence and it's super weird. “Seth texted me last night,” I wait for her reaction. “Oh,” she grimaces. “What did you say?” “That I loved him.” Silence again. Ashley's trying to put together something well-meaning while understanding that I’ll probably ignore whatever she has to say. “Abbi, I’m not trying to tell you how to run your life, but …” Her expression is now quizzical. She's said what she is about to say a number of different ways all ready. She thinks and thinks and decides to say nothing. Good call, I would have screamed at her. Not because what she thinks about my situation isn't true, I’m just in a ‘screaming at people mood’ because of it. “I’m going to dye my hair again,” she changes the subject to avoid conflict. Classic Ash. “Oh yeah? What color this time?” “I don't know,” she checks her reflection in the rear view. “The red has faded out, maybe blue or pink this time.” “You should go with a softer pink,” I say. “Since you're a soft spring.” “Yeah, maybe.” We enter the school lot. “Listen, do you want to get together when I do it? Maybe you can dye your hair too.” “I don't know, I might be busy,” I say. “Seth might want to do something,” I pause for her to protest. “Okay,” she says. She parks and we get out.
I barrel into art class. I don't care if I reek, out of all the teachers I can tell Mrs. Stanley smokes the most. It would be hypocritical of her to care. It looks like I’m the first one. Weird. I check my phone. It's 8:45. Well, fuck. Looks like Ashley needs to fix her clock. Mrs. Stanley is at her desk. She looks at me knowingly. “Eager to create today, Abbi?” I just nod and sit at my desk. I’m really feeling it. I open up my precalc notebook and just start sketching. Birds, eyes, trees, whatever. Kids start coming in. Their chatter echoes around me, I try to focus on what I’m doing. Someone bumps into my table. I look up. It's this lanky blonde kid, I think his name is James. He presses his hands underneath the desk as he leans up to talk to me. “Eww!” He shouts. Some kids turn and laugh. I don't. I just stare at him. James goes red and sits next to the kid who pissed in a jar. Once an adequate amount of students are in the room, Mrs. Stanley starts her lesson slideshow. On the screen is a dirty urinal. “How many of you are familiar with this work by Marcel DuChamp?” she asks. At this point, Jason, the designated meathead jock, enters the room. “Sorry I’m late, Mrs. S,” he booms. He looks at the slide. “We building bathrooms today?” Mrs. Stanley glares at him. “Wouldn't you like that? Considering you spend all of your time in there.” “Whatever,” Jason brushes his mullet behind his ears. “No, not whatever. Would you like me to move you into the sophomore class with Davis? Believe it or not he's getting much better marks than you are getting in here.” Jason rolls his eyes and takes his place in the chair next to me. “Up to a little extra curricular activities before art, Abbi?” he motions a joint in his fingers. I scoff and go on my phone. There's another text from Seth.
sorry about last night
and
im reading it all right now that was fucked im sorry
I start to respond, but before I can Mrs. Stanley outstretches her hand. “Give me your phone, Miss Hagerty. I’m sick of giving you warnings.” I don't have the energy to fight, I just give it to her. “You can pick it up at the end of the day.” My jaw actually drops. Jason must have really set her off, she's not usually such a cunt to me. “Anyways, found art. What is it? Well, found art is the use of everyday objects to convey an altered meaning. It can be something you find on the street or something that once held value to you. For example, My Bed by Tracey Elim.” She pulls up a picture of a messy bed that looks suspiciously like my own. “So for your final unit of the semester, you will be making your own found art. I really want you to take this project a little more seriously than most of you have been taking this class. I’m giving you the privilege of picking your own partners, but I’d like to remind you to be thoughtful with your choice. This will be worth more for your grade.” I look around. I don't have any friends here. I toy around with the idea of asking Jason for convenience and he looks like he's about to pull that move. Behind me there's that James guy. He’s sheepishly looking at me. He seems kind of nice. Okay. I don't feel like getting up so I just turn around in my chair. “Hey James, wanna be partners?” He balks a bit and then smiles at me. “Yeah, totally,” He's beaming and it's somewhat endearing. Alex and I switch seats and now I’m next to him. “I’m gonna be real with you …” I begin. He stops and shifts a little. “I have no idea what we're supposed to be doing for this.” He regards me oddly. Like he's trying to piece me together. It doesn't bother me. “She said we have to bring in an object that's special to us and present it artistically basically,” he rubs his chin. Damn, I must be baked to hell. I didn't hear her saying that at all. “So got any stuffed animals we can cut up and make Lovecraftian monstrosities out of?” “I got a hamster cage, hold the hamster,” I say. It comes out kind of weird and I probably sound stupid, but he doesn't seem to care. “Let's make a fucking zoo.” “Perfect!” He’s kind of cute actually. In a way. Something about this feels fun. I realize the bell will ring soon. “So um,” I rip out a page of my precalc notebook, still fresh with my drawings. I scrawl out my number and push it to him. “Call me so we can figure out the project some more.” I pack up all my stuff and start to head out. I can feel him watching me and it's not that bad. “I sure will,” he says. Everything feels really groovy. There's a lightness now. I’m halfway out the door when I remember my phone. I can't believe that I just forgot about Seth. I think about begging for my phone, but I feel too above that. Still, something shakes the good feeling as the bell rings.

My (31M) boyfriend is telling me (25M) that I need to control my jerking off/nutting the same way I have asked him to control his drinking. Am I in the wrong?
Here's the full story:
Last night we went to see my favorite band (it was absolutely amazing) and we weren't planning on having a drink last night, but we both thought it wouldn't be a huge deal. I ordered a tequila redbull and he ordered a beer. I drank half of mine and told him I couldn't drink any more. So he had that and the beer.
He's had issues in the past being emotionally abusive when he gets drunk, and he has finally admitted he is an alcoholic and is trying to only have one drink at a time. Last night was great, no issues with him drinking.
We left the concert super late and got back to my aunt's house (for one night instead of driving all the way home) and crashed at her place. She's not home and is away on business.
I have a really high sex drive and feel pretty stressed if I don't get off once a day. Sex is also about connection for me and intimacy is important to me. Often he doesn't actually want to have sex with me and would rather jerk off or it's like pulling teeth with him. He just never really is in the mood or makes moves on me unless he's drinking. I explained last night before bed I was horny and was asked if he wanted to do anything with me. He said he was tired and "maybe tomorrow"so I said okay no worries and we went to bed.
Morning rolls around and I asked him to roll over and just cuddle me while I jerk off. (I have a had time getting off to porn bc it doesn't feel real to me, but I often jerk off without it or my partner). He gets really upset if I jerk off next to him in the bed without asking him to be involved because he feels used.
He says he's really uncomfortable because we are at my aunt's house and it doesn't feel appropriate. I said "that's okay if you're not comfortable we don't have to do anything" he then started making fun of me and how I can't control myself and it's only been a day. I asked him to stop. He said if I feel the need to get off then he feels the need to drink and should start drinking. I said "this is different though" and he kept pushing me to explain why it was different. I explained one thing is about needing a substance to feel good and one is about normal body function. He then just repeated under his breath a couple times "normal body" then kept scrolling his tiktok. I got up to go take a shower and he seemed like he was trying to make sure I wasn't upset with him.
For additional context, he used to be a prostitute and has been with over 300 people he says. He tells me about all the different guys he's been with and he watches porn to get off about the same frequency we have "sex" (maybe 1 time a week) but also frequently scrolls porn on Twitter casually and often tells me about the cute guys in public. He has only started drinking less within our relationship after he got kind of abusive. (Those are his words)
Am I in the wrong?

Edit: DO NOT message me a simple hi or hello, with no information about you, Put some effort in to your message like i have, come on. Day+Attempt#187
Hello everyone, Thank you for taking the time to read, I know its long, I know - I know. But its worth the read, Trust me. I appreciate you immensely.
Here's a bit about me,
My name is Jay, I live on the East coast of the US. I'm looking for love - like everyone else on here.., but you may not believe or even be doubtful that I've never had a GF before with me being 26, but its true. I'm simply just not willing to "be with" just anyone and I'm very picky. I want us to be a match, more than just have similar things in common.
One thing I have always been told is that I'm a "Real Catch, I'd be extremely lucky to have someone like you" - WELL THEN TAKE ME. I'M FREE. LOL.
About me:
Physically -
~I'm a semi-tall guy, around 5'10.
~I'm thin but muscular.
~I have dirty blonde/ brown hair.
~Changing colored eyes.
~A voice nice enough to melt all your safeguards and get right into your heart and weak spots.
~I do not have any tattoos or piercings. Though I would like to get some eventually.
If you'd like to see a picture of me just ask and I'll show you - IF I may see you as well, I simply just don't want a picture of me out there for anyone to see.
-If there's anything else you'd like to know just ask.
Otherwise -
~I do have 3 pet bunnies I would be more than happy to show you, they are extremely cute.
~I'm a very honest and down to earth guy.
~I'm very patient and easy going.
~I'm very curious and inquisitive. I will try to ask everything I can to learn all about you haha.
~I'm Very VERY Kind & Caring, I will probably ask how you are feeling a bajillion times a day, simply out of care for you.
~I can get pretty clingy, and will always want your attention and to be talking with you. If i have someone im interested in i wont want to talk to anyone else🤷‍♂️
~I'm very trustworthy - you can confide in me, and entrust your deepest secrets and I wont tell a soul.
~I'm a HUGE hopeless romantic, im old fashioned and will always try to impress you.
- I'm, a BIG softie even though I may look a smol bit intimidating, but I'd do just about anything to see you smile or laugh. And yes.., I do mean anything.
~I'm a big goof - I will get up to some silly shenanigans ALL the time, I will crack dumb jokes and send you memes and tik toks just to make you happy, even if its from across the room I'd wait to see your reaction lol.
~I'm extremely loyal, and would never even think of cheating.
~I will cook for you, and clean up too, even around the house, I'm very self productive and don't ask for much. Just don't forget to kiss the cook.
~I'd also love to just cuddle up and watch a movie or read a book together, anything to get us closer. Id try to take you out on dates whenever possible haha. I have a million SUPER romantic date ideas I have but have never had anyone interested enough in me to take out. Here's your chance ;)
~I will always want to share stuff I find interesting with you, and try to share every moment of every day with you. I'm not looking for someone who can only talk for a small amount of time, I want someone who's willing to put in all the effort I put into them back into me, it goes both ways. If I'm "with" someone you are my TOP priority nobody and nothing else would be. You would be the only person I'd truly want to talk to, so rest assured I would NEVER cheat, even more so because no one is interested in me - Hence why I'm here hahaha.
I'm sure there is more to me than this snippet but I cant think of more at the moment haha, so get to know me and find out more about me.
Some of my interests are: Engineering- I'm a nerd. I admit it. I love being technical and hands on, I love building things. All kinds of things, from furniture, machinery, and reverse engineering anything I find. I love learning how things work and trying to improve things.
Music - I prefer music with a very fast pace, or with some very meaningful lyrics I can relate to. I love to sing along to music and songs that have a deep meaning behind it I can sympathize with makes it all the better. Some bands I like are: Bad Omens, Beartooth, Demon Hunter, MIW, I9K - The list goes on. I'm a bit of a metalhead unfortunately.
TV Shows & Movies - I love watching shows, and I'd love to stream some shows and have some E-dates with you, to get to know you, or if you are close to me, maybe we could do it in person. Some shows I like or more of the Fantasy/Sci-Fi, Comedy, Action, stuff like: National Treasure, Halo, BattleBots, Rick and Morty, AHS, Anything Marvel or DC, The Witcher, Wednesday, The Sandman, The Magicians, The Umbrella Academy, ETC.
Gaming - Yes yes I know, Basic guy likes basic stuff. But gaming has been a thing for me since forever. I know most of you wont care or want to hear that, but I'll leave out the specifics on this part unless you are interested in that, MEGA Bonus points if you are.
Here's a lists of Cons to dating me-
~I'm not Ryan Reynolds. Disappointing, I know.
~I will fight you on what goes on pizza lol.
~I'm not rich.., Yet.
~I can't pronounce Worcestershire.
~I'm slightly forgetful, but with good reasoning.
~(Not really a con but- some might disagree) I still have ALL of my firsts, Do with that what you will c:
~I've got an endless pile of love and affection and no one to give it to! What a dilemma! Help me fix it?
Other than that I'll save the rest for a bit more of getting to know each other.
Here's a bit of what I'm looking in you:
~Preferably someone with lots of free time, and loves to chit chat. I'm seriously not interested in getting 1 message a day. Though I understand people get busy, I personally am not willing to try to learn about you and form something with 7 responses a week. Effort gets reciprocated and I appreciate the time you put in me.
~Physically: -I’m not personally attracted to anyone who’s “curvy/ chubby”, I apologize. Not a shallow thing, I just dont have the attraction chemical in my brain for that, I’m sorry. -If you’re shorter than me, thats a plus to me. -I love dimples, if you have those when you smile, bonus points 😊 - I’m not sure what else to put.., but as for nsfw wise find out😂
~I'm a sucker for a different accent other than American, and if you have an Posh English accent you have already won my heart.
~I'm also only really looking for someone within the ages of 18-35. I don't want anyone old enough to be my mom lol.
~I'd prefer (But not a must) people NOT on the other side of the world, as other time zones SUCK. I don't expect to find anyone who also has never had a boyfriend either, but that would be a real plus. I also don't mind a LDR, but I don't want that forever. But it gives us time to get to know each other.
But as for attributes I'm looking for in you:
~Someone who is above all else very very Loyal and would never cheat.
~Someone who is Honest, and will tell me the truth over a little white lie.
~Someone who is Kind & Caring, who'd constantly check on me, and accept me for who I am & help me improve day to day.
~Someone who is trustworthy, and I can count on to keep my secrets safe, or even just help me remember things.., I do tend to be somewhat forgetful.
~Someone who is very Patient and wants to see me succeed and will help me do so, just like I would help you. Even if its small day to day things, I would appreciate your company ANY time.
~I want a partner who is Affectionate, can reciprocate, and loves to snuggle and talk about their day, and what their interests are, and what makes them happy.
~Someone who can admit they get clingy or overprotective is a bonus.
~A partner with good communication is key, if something wrong we have to be able to talk about it.
~A partner who likes to game with me or at least watch me play would be a plus but not a requirement.
~Someone with a good sense of humor and like to joke around, I am a big goof after all and I love to joke around. Sending memes is always appreciated and good to cheer people up too!
~I'd prefer someone with the same music taste, but not a requirement, Plus if you wouldn't mind if I send you love songs occasionally that's a bonus, or sending me some back haha.
~Being willing to voice call is a must, Texting forever is not the way to go. I have to know what your voice is like haha, later on we can video call if you are comfortable with that. I prefer chatting on Discord because Reddit messages of any kind I'm sure you know are unreliable and sucky in general. So please send me your discord if you have one :)
~I would LOVE to see picture of your pets if you have any. Bonus points if it includes your beautiful self haha.
I'm sure there is more I'm looking for but I cant think of it right now haha, I will have to edit this when I think of it.
Please tell me about you as an opener! I told you a good bit about me, now its your turn haha.
Tell me some things like -
~What's your name?
~Where are you from?
~How old are you?
~What are your hobbies / interests?
~What about my post interested you?
~Where is my TV Remote?!
~Selfie? Pet pics?
~Hit me with your best joke or meme :)
~What's your favorite candy?
I'd LOVE to get to know you, and see where things go.
But yeah, I know it was long I'm sorry haha. Send me a message and lets get to know each other! :)

Hey there,
I hope you're all doing well. I'm reaching out for some advice and support, particularly from fellow females, regarding a challenging situation in my relationship.
My boyfriend and I are both in our early twenties, and we've been together for almost a year now. Our relationship has always been incredibly special to me - we've built a strong foundation of trust, communication, and love. We've always been there for each other, respecting boundaries and caring deeply about one another's well-being.
Recently, a month ago, my boyfriend's mom passed away, leaving him with the profound loss of both his parents. It's been an incredibly tough time for him, and understandably, he's been struggling. I've been doing everything I can to support him through this heartbreaking time. Whether it's suggesting outings with his friends to distract him, or taking him out, cooking his favorite meals, or just being there to listen when he needs to talk, I've been trying my best to ensure he feels loved and cared for. Additionally, we both have similar work, so I help him out with his work stuff so he could slack off and do other things he likes doing, like playing video games.
However, amidst all of this, I've found myself feeling a bit forgotten. Our time together has decreased significantly, and the energy and passion in our conversations seem to have shifted. I understand that grief can be all-consuming, and I empathize with the immense pain he's going through. But despite knowing all of this logically, I can't shake this feeling of loneliness and disconnect.
It's not that I doubt his love for me - he's reassured me countless times that he loves me just as much as he always has. But it's hard not to feel like I'm drifting away from him, like I'm somehow slipping through the cracks of his grief. I miss the closeness we used to share, and it's been weighing heavily on my heart.
I'll give you an example. We don't live together, so whenever we meet, on our way back, he'd text me a lot of cute stuff, including how pretty I looked and how lucky he is to have me, and just stuff like that. And he has stopped doing that, and my mind can't help but overthink that something's wrong with our relationship or that he doesn't love me anymore.
To add to this, a recent incident really threw me off. My boyfriend cracked a joke, and I told him it was uncool and made me feel weird. He got mad at me and said he'd stop cracking jokes altogether. I feel like I can't say anything or do anything without walking on eggshells. We used to communicate openly about things, even the little stuff, and about my mental health. But now, he just makes me feel bad for expressing my emotions, and I can't help but feel like he resents me.
I want to support him through this challenging time, but I also don't want to neglect my own emotional needs in the process. I'm struggling to find the balance between being there for him and taking care of myself, and I'm not sure how to navigate this delicate situation without adding more stress to his already heavy load.
If any of you have been through similar experiences or have any advice on how to cope with these feelings of loneliness, disconnect, and walking on eggshells while supporting a grieving partner, I would deeply appreciate your insights.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this and for any support or guidance you can offer.
TL;DR: My boyfriend (22M) lost a parent recently, and I've (22F) been doing everything to support him. However, I feel neglected and disconnected in our relationship as he grieves. A recent incident where he got mad over a joke has made me feel like I'm walking on eggshells. How can I support him while addressing my own emotional needs?

Hey there,
I hope you're all doing well. I'm reaching out for some advice and support, particularly from fellow females, regarding a challenging situation in my relationship.
My boyfriend and I are both in our early twenties, and we've been together for almost a year now. Our relationship has always been incredibly special to me - we've built a strong foundation of trust, communication, and love. We've always been there for each other, respecting boundaries and caring deeply about one another's well-being.
Recently, a month ago, my boyfriend's mom passed away, leaving him with the profound loss of both his parents. It's been an incredibly tough time for him, and understandably, he's been struggling. I've been doing everything I can to support him through this heartbreaking time. Whether it's suggesting outings with his friends to distract him, or taking him out, cooking his favorite meals, or just being there to listen when he needs to talk, I've been trying my best to ensure he feels loved and cared for. Additionally, we both have similar work, so I help him out with his work stuff so he could slack off and do other things he likes doing, like playing video games.
However, amidst all of this, I've found myself feeling a bit forgotten. Our time together has decreased significantly, and the energy and passion in our conversations seem to have shifted. I understand that grief can be all-consuming, and I empathize with the immense pain he's going through. But despite knowing all of this logically, I can't shake this feeling of loneliness and disconnect.
It's not that I doubt his love for me - he's reassured me countless times that he loves me just as much as he always has. But it's hard not to feel like I'm drifting away from him, like I'm somehow slipping through the cracks of his grief. I miss the closeness we used to share, and it's been weighing heavily on my heart.
I'll give you an example. We don't live together, so whenever we meet, on our way back, he'd text me a lot of cute stuff, including how pretty I looked and how lucky he is to have me, and just stuff like that. And he has stopped doing that, and my mind can't help but overthink that something's wrong with our relationship or that he doesn't love me anymore.
To add to this, a recent incident really threw me off. My boyfriend cracked a joke, and I told him it was uncool and made me feel weird. He got mad at me and said he'd stop cracking jokes altogether. I feel like I can't say anything or do anything without walking on eggshells. We used to communicate openly about things, even the little stuff, and about my mental health. But now, he just makes me feel bad for expressing my emotions, and I can't help but feel like he resents me.
I want to support him through this challenging time, but I also don't want to neglect my own emotional needs in the process. I'm struggling to find the balance between being there for him and taking care of myself, and I'm not sure how to navigate this delicate situation without adding more stress to his already heavy load.
If any of you have been through similar experiences or have any advice on how to cope with these feelings of loneliness, disconnect, and walking on eggshells while supporting a grieving partner, I would deeply appreciate your insights.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this and for any support or guidance you can offer.

Oh how sad I am. I've been planning this escape for years. And now that I'm finally here, with one more night on my... not-really-a-bed, just a... mat-on-the-floor with blanket and pillows...
I sob. Sob and cry and wonder why I feel all this pain. I'm the one who wanted to escape. To live my life to the fullest. To do all the things I love. To draw and sing, to wear my hair down and bake, to make friends and wear cute dresses, to have cats and be with the man I love and oh gosh how lucky I am that he loves me dearly and wants the best for me. He and his mum supported me so so much. My friend too. They are my chosen family.
But... why am I feeling so horribly sad...? Its because I'll never see my parents or siblings again. I feel so bad for my mum because she allows people to use her and by that I mean she does everything for my grown ass siblings. And my extended family all use her a lot too.
About my mum.
Sadly, shes religious. Prays constantly. Always telling us to pray. Donates money to needy. Forced me to pay zakkah. Buys counters to constantly recite, it's like digital tasbeehs and stuff to use wherever without looking or counting. You just press and then you get your number on a screen. She takes care of her mum sometimes. Often cooks for her. She often watches her sisters kids because her sister, my aunt... is ever so social and kinda just expects my mum to baby sit them. My mum cooks almost every day. Usually every other day because my dad refuses to eat old food. And when I say cook I dont mean something easy like whip up a pasta. I mean dishes that take at least more than 2 hours to cook. Mind you though, hes a chef and does cook sometimes in the house. But since he works he expects mum to cook and honestly if I were a man, I'd want that too. To come home from work to good food. Anyway...
I have siblings. One of which is a piece of good for nothing shit. Uses and abuses mum psychologically. For real. It's so sad. And mum enables this shit because she believes it's not actually my siblings behaviour. It's apparently a ghost. My other siblings are not of legal age yet. I will miss them terribly. They... will have to grow up a lot. Mum does a lot for them. Cooking. Cleaning. Honestly, I dont cook because mum does it. Nor clean. I avoided being with mum and basically without realising it, did that rock technique with her. Where I basically diffuse the conversation and stuff because I hate talking about Islam and just avoid being around her and stuff. I forgot what the technique is actually called.
I love her. Even if I'm sure her love for me is conditional. I wish to keep contact with her. But I worry about her health. Diabetes and general pressure issues. If she dies, my dad wont be able to take care of my siblings. My dad will cook for them and teach them how to travel to school and stuff. But besides that, he wont know about their medical conditions or history, he cant speak much English just some. He is smart but also not really? It's weird.
Mg siblings and mum is who I worry for most. The two siblings who arent over 18 yet. I dont care for the other one because they ruined my life and became such a horrible person. I get some of it is mental health issues so they need help but I'm speaking very specifically of their character before all this began.
Anyway. I escape tomorrow. Today is technically my last day ever with my family. I do love them. I wish to text or call them from time to time but I do think a period of no contact may be necessary for both them and myself to kind of... let this choice I made sink in. I've bought games for my younger siblings where we can chat and hopefully they keep this private. I do believe that they may understand me when they reach a certain age and be more accepting than my parents.
In my letter, I'm not sure if I should say I left because I wanted to live my life or because "God guided me" and play that card. I'm semi atheist. Sometimes I believe in God and other times I dont. Right now km not really sure what I am so I say semi atheist. I will cry and cry and cry after I've made it to my partner. He and his mum will hold me close and tell me I'm safe and loved and deserve to choose the life I want. I have support. We are gonna do so many things together that we couldn't before!
I'm an artist. In so many ways. I had to hide my art with my family. With my partner, he wanted them all displayed. For Christmas, I drew portraits, more like fantasy portraits of him and his mum and his cat. They still have it displayed in their house. It warms my heart. I draw, sew, sculpt with clay, paint sometimes, do traditional pencils drawings with colour and without, digital art, pixel art for working on my game, make plushies and I plan to sew my own dresses, I like styling my hair although my hair is pretty damaged sadly, no not with heat products, more of just unhealthy hair. What else...? I just love making things with paper like water fall cards and spinning cards and pop up books. When I confessed to my partner, at the time he couldn't be with me because he wanted to make sure he was ready, I made him a well designed pop up book. It had stuff we liked, camping, gaming, sleeping, loads of pop up and sliding elements. Then on our 1st anniversary, I made him an explosion box. He was absolutely in shock as he opened it over Skype. I plan to make an even better gift for next time. For Christmas he attempted something similar, he is very creative too. He made me a book of himself. Like a little toy for my to hold around with funny comments and his cat kinda touring me through his weak knee joints Haha and his heart which loves me 100% and his little nose which if I boop, doesnt do anything, nor the the little mole he has on his face. All these drawings and details, I love it so much.
Why did I write all that... I'm trying to cope right now. I want encouragement. I'm scared. But I know I have to do this. I dont want to cry or be sad. I wanna be happy because I have this opportunity to run away move out and be free. I've saved and saved enough for at least a few years. But I'll be getting a job in the new country after I learn the language officially. By going to school to learn the language I'll keep myself occupied and busy. At my partners house we will be playing games ans cuddling and making Lego stuff and drawing and going for walks and watching films so I know I'll be happy.
I just also know I'll wonder how my family are and worry those thoughts will eat into my happy time. I dont know how to go about this.
Please... I wanna move out on happy terms. I deserve to live. To think 7 years ago I was going to take my life because I prayed constantly to God and he didnt seem to reply to it... and then I became an ex Muslim and found a new friend and then a another one of which who became my partner... I never would have believed if someone told me, hey in some years you'll move away from your family have a loving boyfriend and be free from religion. I'd have slapped them maybe and said shut up you liar. Get lost.
But here I am. I didnt take my life. I won. And I'm gonna win again tomorrow when I take that plane. I'm just sad about missing my family. Even if they were unpleasant at times. I still love them.
But I deserve to live my own life. I can do this. One more night on my not so very comfy floor bed.
Paper Blackstar
I will never post from this account again. For updates on my situation, possibly a tutorial of how I escape, please see my other account, The Paper Blackstar. It has one post saying that it's me, and in the comments a mod confirmed.

My (26F) boyfriend (32M) says once a month he feels like the relationship is coming to an end. Around my period I get really agitated and am in pain and prefer to be on my own to avoid snapping at my partner. We have communicated this and it was fine, but this weekend I found out that it feels like I'm two different people, he's stepping on eggs shells around me and he can't be himself and questioned why I can't be all lovey dovey and cute all the time.
I apologised and asked what I do to make him feel like this and I explained that I'm human and hormonal, and some days after work I just want to go home and wind down on my own (we don't live together). I've recently been diagnosed with ADHD and ASD and am coming to terms with this, I burn out and explain this to my boyfriend that I need a day or two where we don't have plans to see each other and do our own thing, at the time he agrees but then it's thrown back in my face "I'm just used to it now, you wasn't like this last month" and other comments like this. I now feel the need to mask how I feel to avoid these negative feelings he's experiencing. I also feel like I shouldn't feel the pressure of being the same and happy all the time. Ive looked up treading on eggs shells and it says not being able to / fear of being your self or saying stuff to avoid the other person getting upset or angry, which has never been the case so I'm confused if this is subconscious for him or if I genuinely make him feel like this. These comments have upset me and I'm taking a few days to reflect on myself and thinking of ways to move forward. My immediate thought is to end the relationship because I'm not making him happy and I'm difficult and it's hard to get out of this way of thinking. How can I improve this ? And seem happy all the time ?

Slutty Sister Has Her Brother Locked For Life (non-con, forced chastity, bondage, punishment)
Part 1
The keyholder nurse gave me instructions and explained everything after it was all over. My family had told me that I was a sex pervert and I was "being dealt with". I knew I was in trouble, but I was a young man, only 18 and I didn't understand what was going on. No one had told me anything after the hearing.
Mom drove me to an odd building, led me to a secure room and left. A young nurse told me to undress. I was totally naked. An older woman in scrubs and a man entered. They strapped my arms and legs down to a cold steel table. The nurse offered the woman a syringe, but she declined and said "No, I want this creep to feel it".
It all started a month ago. I lived with my mom and sister, dad was gone. My sister was 19, with a tight body and medium sized, perky tits. Mom was thick, curvy, with giant tits. Both recently got their naval's pierced with matching studs. Neither had boyfriends, but they were very promiscuous. We lived in a mobile home with thin walls, so I could hear them getting fucked often.
I made some mistakes. First, my sister caught me peeping on her in the shower and told mom. Then, two of her "friends" came over for sex. They took turns on her. She got very loud. After they left, I went in her room. She covered herself, but I saw her pussy and stomach first. There were small puddles of cum around her pantyline, and some more of it leaking out of her. I told her I was still a virgin and asked if I could "go next" on her. She yelled "get out" and told mom when she got home from work.
The third incident was more serious they said. Mom would sometimes drink and pass out. I'd never felt tits before and hers were so enticing. She had some drinks and went to bed. I snuck in. She was asleep, uncovered, wearing a gown. I grabbed her heaving boobs. Then I took one of my hands off her chest and pulled the gown above her waist, exposing her. I slid my hand between her legs and rubbed her pussy. She woke up and caught me. She was pissed. The next day my sister told me they had turned me in and there would be a hearing.
So I knew why I was on the metal table, but I didn't know what was next. I couldn't see, there was a drape at my waist. It started with gloves and cold metal on my genitals, then clamping, pinching, pulling, and eventually a sharp puncturing pain near my balls. I begged them to stop, but they did it 2 more times, once on my cock. Finally a metal device was brought out. I could feel it being slid on, clamped down, tightened, then locked. "All done" they said and left. The young nurse stayed behind.
She removed the drape and released the straps. I inspected the "device". My cock and balls had been fed through a steel ring that tightly encircled them at the base. It was secured to a piercing just above my taint and another at the top. My penis was locked in a tight steel "cage" with a hole at the end for pissing. The head had been pierced and a metal bar went through me as extra security. It wasn't going anywhere. The whole thing was super tight.
"What is this?" I asked.
She explained. "It's your chastity device. Your genitals have been locked up. At the hearing, your mother and sister requested that you be put in chastity. The safety council asked them how long they thought would be appropriate and both wanted you locked forever. Since the incidents involved incest, the council agreed. Your penis is locked for life. I'm your keyholder nurse. I will help with adjustments, cleanings, draining your balls, and anything else needed for chastity".
"When do I get to take off?" I said.
She answered, "You're locked forever. So you wont get to take it off. They have to keep you locked so your sister is safe and to punish you for what you did to your mom. You wont be able to have sex or force anyone. Since you can't masturbate, your balls might swell, so you will see me every other month to drain them, do a deep cleaning, and tighten your cage, if necessary.
--------------------------------XXX--------------------------------

Part 2

The room was cold. My keyholder nurse was a cute twenty-something. A name tag with "Beverly" was pinned above her perky boobs. Her scrub top was tight around her chest. I could see the shape of her breasts and her hard nipples pressing againt the fabric. I stared and my cage got tighter. She noticed and grinned slightly.
I got back to business, "Can I appeal or get parole or something? What happens next?"
She answered, "Sorry, no appeals for chastity. There is parole, but not for incest cases. What you did is considered extremely disgusting, so they deemed you a "most extreme pervert". Incest offenders get more severe penalties and no parole. I'm not supposed to be judgemental, but you're my first incest case and it sounded really awful at your hearing. It's hard to believe creeps as bad as you even exist, who rubs their own mom's pussy? This case is really bad, so I'm gonna go harder on you than my other guys. I hope it was worth it. So here's what's next...your mother and sister are entitled to a final inspection of your genitals, then you'll go directly to prison to be processed and locked up in the chastity unit."
I was confused and responded with frustration, "I can't believe this is happening to me. I just got too horny seeing the girls dressed like sluts and listening to them getting fucked all the time. After seeing my sisters cum-filled pussy, I lost control and slipped up. If she just gave me sloppy seconds, I wouldn't have done all that to mom....What do you mean prison?!?!"
She responded, bursting with excitement, "Dont worry, you'll learn your lesson! OH! I see they didn't tell you about prison yet, since you were a rush case. Chastity is just an add-on to your prison sentence as an extra penalty and to keep everyone safe. Let me look at your file to see how much time you'll serve."
Looking at her tablet, she smiled big and replied, "I've never gotten to do this before! Most guys hear about their sentence before they get to me...Ok, so they actually got you taken care of pretty good here. It got split up into multiple counts, so fortunately, they were able to put you away for a long time."
She continued, "Your sister had you convicted on two charges, one for the shower incident and one for the bedroom incident. You got two more for mom, one for groping her tits and another for going between her legs. I'll read them off...
Count 1, Incestual peeping, sentence: 1 year special confinement
Count 2, Incestual peeping with propositioning, sentence: 1.5 years special confinement
Count 3, 2nd Degree Incestual Sexual Battery, 2 years special confinement
Ok and here's the big one! For touching mom's pussy...
Count 4, 1st Dregee Incestual Sexual Battery, 4.5 years RIGOROUS confinement in the SCU-I, (Special Chastity Unit, Incest wing), with intensive perversion correction."
So you'll do nine years total, with the first four-and-a-half in the incest wing."
I was completely shocked, "Nine years!? Are you serious? What's special confinement? Am I going to regular prison or what?
Beverely explained, "Special confinement means you'll be put in the chastity unit. It's a separate level for inmates that have their genitals locked, like rapists and other perverts. It's a little different. The cells are super small, you don't get any privileges like TV, and you stay locked in your cell for 23 hours a day. But don't worry. Most of my guys are in the chastity unit. They all want out really bad, but they're fine. Some eventually leave for regular population if their sentence allows, but you'll actually just be finishing up in the main chasity unit after you're done with rigororous confinement for the first four-and-a-half. You'll start off in the incest wing".
"What is all that? I asked
Beverly explained further, "It's a big deal. That's why I got so excited when I read your sentence on count 4. It wasn't just the amount of time you got, but what'll be happening to you that makes it a heavy one. I've heard it's very extreme. Since you're my first incest case, I'm not as familiar with it, but I've heard you're basically caged up 24/7 and pretty much treated like an animal. I'm not sure if you even get a toilet or a bed. You only leave your cage once every two weeks for perversion correction, which I might get to assist with, and you'll get another device I've heard about, called the "silver bullet". I think it's an anal device? You'll learn more about that when you get there. Oh! Looks like it's time to get you ready for inspection."
The door opened as she left and two female guards entered. One had a tazer. They led me to another table. This one had wheels. I sat on the edge. One grabbed my ankles and another tried to push me on my back. I resisted, trying to spin off the table. I was immediately tazed, then sedated, imobilizing me. "This will be easier for if you just comply" she said. I was on my back again. My ankles were lifted toward my head, folding my legs over me. Thick zip ties were placed around my ankles and calfs. My hands and forearms were looped through both, then "zzzzzzzztttt", it was all cinched down tight, securing my arms to my legs. A bar was secured between my knees, keeping me exposed. Beverly came back in. One of the guards said "He's all yours hon" as they left.
"Let's get you cleaned up" Beverly said. "Your mom and sister are on their way and they're excited to see your private parts all locked up for good.
She put gloves on, then approached the table, placing one hand over my nose. I opened my mouth and she shoved a gag in and secured it around my head. "This is just a temporary gag. Your sister didn't want you talking during inspection. I believe you'll get more securely gagged and muzzled when you get to processing. I've heard the guys don't get solid food in the incest wing, you get fed a liquid diet, like that soylent stuff, that you'll take through a drinking tube in your gag. It's really amazing how good they have you incest perverts locked up over there. I can't wait to see you like that.
She started the cleaning by soaping and lathering around my crotch, exposed parts were shaved. She walked away, coming back with a tube and a bag full of fluid that she hung from a pole. The label read "Enema". Beverly explained, "Gotta clean you inside and out. First I'll get you lubed up". She grabbed a metal syring, inserted the tip in my ass, and injected me with lube. At the end of enema tube, there was a detachable nozzle with two inflatable bulbs. One was forced in my ass and both were inflated, locking it in place. I could see the tube going from the bag to inside me. I felt like I was being treated like an animal already. She turned a valve, the fluid began flowing and filled me up. She set a timer for 35 minutes, and sat on her stool, reading cosmo. After an agonizing wait, she removed the nozzle plug, allowing me to release. Finally, thank goodness. I was soaped up again and rinsed. She cleaned up the enema nozzle plug, added more lube, and shoved it back1 inside me. "Putting this back in so we dont have any potential leaks" she said, as she inflated it. She disconnected the outside end of the inflatable nozzle where it attached to the longer enema tube, clamped it off, and let go of it. I felt it bounce around as it settled. "You're all set" she exclaimed.
I was wheeled on the cart-like table through a long, busy hallway to a different room for inspection. I could feel the protruding nozzle plug in my ass flop around as the cart moved. The other employees stared as I went by, a few smiled with satisfaction. How humiliating I thought. I heard murmuring. "Bitchtied pervert getting what he deserves!" one girl said angrily.
Finally in the inspection room, I waited. The door opened, Beverly entered with two blondes behind her, my mom and my sister. The two gorgeous sluts were dressed similar. My mom was wearing tight, denim, high waisted shorts that displayed her ass and curvy hips, they were pulled-up high in a way that you could see the denim tight against her twat. My sister came dressed in super short spandex yoga shorts, tight ones that lifted her already firm butt into perfection. Both wore crop tops with their stomachs and matching naval piercings exposed. Images of my sister's sloppy pussy flashed in my head, my cock and balls both swelled. I stared at their bodies and let out a loud, desperate moan as my cage grew excruciatingly tight.
Part 3 to follow...

Previous entry: https://www.reddit.com/buffy/comments/1cpqgdq/rewatchers_diary_season_2_episodes_5_to_7/
On today's menu: The Dark Age (2x8) and What's My Line (2x9-2x10).
Quick thoughts: The Dark Age is fine, What's My Line is part of why BTVS is great.
The Dark Age
Summary: Giles' dark past comes back to haunt him. It ends up hurting Jenny and distancing her from him.
This was fine. I didn't quite have the greatness which BTVS is capable of, but it was fine.
Random thoughts in a random order:

• In this episode we have the line "three down, two to go". In the next one we'll have "one down, one gone", and I think in the previous episode—Lie To Me (2x7)—there was also some take on "N down, M to go". These phrases always make me think of Willow's "one down" line in Villains (6x20), and the title of the next episode, Two to Go (6x21).
• Ooh, more Ethan! Ethan is great!
• I used to be a teenager, but it's a while ago. I liked Buffy's line near the end, which I'll inadvertently paraphrase: "I used to think of you as a grown-up [i.e. distant], now I discovered you're a person [i.e. relatable]". I think I must have forgotten the teen perspective and just how big the gap feels. The ages in my current friendship circles spans four decades. The scoobies at some point refer to Giles as "their grown-up friend". Huh, I guess I'm someone's grown-up friend, and my life feels less weird than the show is made to look on that occasion. Oh well, we have a shared recreational activity in real life, so the friendship that spans a big age range is genuine; affectionate as it is, Giles and the scoobies have more of a working relationship than a friendship. (In my book Giles hasn't fully stepped into the surrogate father role yet.)
• I guess I should talk about how this is a cautionary tale to young people about bad decisions in one's youth having the capacity to exact a price later in life. Uhm. It is.
• Hey, the morgue where Phillip (Deirdre's victim / transfer target) rises from the apparently-dead, is that the same morgue we saw in Never Kill a Boy on the First Date (1x5)? It kinda' looks like it.
• Yay for Willow being assertive towards Xander and Cordelia, "[either get to work, or] get the hell out of my library!"
• Poor Giles, having to once again face the fact that his actions got one of his friends killed, and now having to consider the fact that they may also get his love interest killed.
• Hey, does this feed thematically into the the way Buffy feels responsible for, in some sense, killing Angel (and making Angelus replacing him) in Surprise (2x13)? I think it might.
• Ooh: in this episode Angel saves Jenny. In Passion (2x17) Angel kills Jenny. (Yes, okay, Angelus.)
• Giles' irresponsible decisions almost got Jenny killed. Buffy's irresponsible decisions—unleashing Angelus—actually got Jenny killed.

What's My Line
Summary: Career day at school. The next slayer, Kendra, has a short enemies-to-rivals-to-friends with Buffy. Drusilla is restored while Spike is injured during the attempted escape, and Angel is injured during Drusilla's restoration ritual.
Oh boy, this is great. Random thoughts in a random order:

• Ooh, more Terminator references! Buffy is targeted for termination by (a) someone disguised as a police officer; and (b) a shapeshifting creature made of liquid metal maggots.
• Buffy is already doing uh supernatural community policing, so her as a police officer makes sense. I've not read the comics but I've heard she actually becomes a LEO. Her future as a LEO doesn't get much screen time, but I was still surprised by how much.
• But her actual career right now is being the Slayer, and Kendra shows Buffy how to do it by the book™.
• In that light, it's interesting that Buffy's determination increases a notch when she realizes it's personal: "no one messes with my boyfriend!"
• Willy! Ooooh I like Willy the slime ball.
• He suggests Buffy and Kendra might do "art photography, but naked". Buffy is 16 which is less than 18. Given SMG's age and look, Willy might have overestimated Buffy's age—but still, if such photography happened it would legally be ch*ld p*rn. I recall Buffy dismissing Willy with a disgusted face. I'm not sure how I feel about the show not commenting more strongly on this.
• On a lighter note (maybe), there was such a wonderful scene with Spike holding Drusilla in his arms and the two dancing after Spike talking about dancing on the slayer's grave. In Crush (5x14) Spike would happily dance with Buffy on Drusilla's grave. Between The Gift (5x22) and Bargaining (6x1-6x2), Spike is deeply troubled by the slayer having a grave. Oh how the tables will turn. And I guess in Chosen (7x22) Buffy is... not dancing, but definitely feeling a sense of relief, while standing atop the place where Spike is buried (the whole in the ground that used to be Sunnydale).
• Spike and Drusilla is an incredibly sexy couple. May I join in, please?
• Oz and Willow, while not yet a couple, are so cute together.
• Xander and Cordelia kiss. They are sooo awkward together.
• Buffy touching and kissing Angel in vamp face at the skating rink: the music makes it appear all romantic and stuff, suggesting that she's mature enough to see the man hiding below the monster's exterior. But really—I think—she's too blinded by hormones to notice the monster and the monstrous pile of red flags.
• Speaking of which, "We have this thing at school / Career day? / How do you know? / I lurk", that came across as somewhat stalker-like behavior to me. When Buffy tries to read Angel's mind in Earshot (3x18) out of jealousy, Angel says "[just ask]". Why doesn't Angel just ask what's going on in Buffy's life, then?
• Drusilla has been wearing her white dress the whole time, which I associate with purity and innocence. When at the end she's restored to her full strength and thus capacity for evil she's wearing all black. A nice contrast.
• Drusilla's white dress makes me think of a bridal gown. I think there ought to be some joke about a vampire couple staying together "till death do you part", but I haven't quite nailed it yet.

Updated episode tier list:

• S-tier: 7
• A-tier: 9 10
• B-tier: 3 6 > 1
• C-tier: 8 > 5
• D-tier: 2 4

Hi Charlotte, I have a wedding story for you of a wedding I had the misfortune to attend, buckle up guys, this was a train wreck.
I (31f) was always very close with my Grandma. She taught me things like how to knit, she loved teaching me how to cook and when we did family walks in the huge local park, she would "take us to get lost in the woods", because she knew how much my brother and I loved adventures.
My Grandfather always had a parade of mistresses when my Dad and his brothers were growing up, and because my Grandmother was traditional and didn't believe in divorce, she got stuck with these women being practically waved in her face. Sadly til the very end, she loved my Grandad dearly. Myself growing up, from since I can remember, the latest mistress, we'll call her X, was in the picture. Important to note that X was 30+ years younger than him.
My Grandma sadly developed alzhiemers which meant that my Grandad was even less discreet, parading X around to the point where he would invite her to meals we went to where my poor Grandma was present, the worst one being one where my mother was also present, and the dynamic was Grandad flirting with my mother whilst X gave him daggers, my Grandma not really understanding what was going on, and me just wanting the ground to swallow me up.
Almost 10 years ago my Grandma's health declined, and I would go and visit her at the nursing home, and take care of her each day. My Grandad would visit her and bring X along with him, which I found insulting, but boy had I seen nothing yet.
Sadly she died, and we had a beautiful cremation service followed by a wake at a fancy hotel. Some drama was caused by my Dad's mistress turned girlfriend (I know, it runs in the family), but overall it went smoothly.
A few weeks later, Grandad arranges the scattering of the ashes. He specified no Grandchildren were allowed, which upset me considering I had been with her til the end, but it soon became apparent why. My Dad came home and told me that Grandad, at the ash scattering, announced he was getting married to X, his mistress. I was mortified as to how distasteful it was, but he chose the hotel where he held the wake for my Grandmother, and they would be married in three months time.
I didn't want to go for obvious reasons but my Dad said I had to go so that he wasn't alone. It was the biggest shit show I've had the misfortune to witness.
A friend from a former job came along, her job being to ply me with alcohol throughout the day, and boy did I need it.
First of all, all members of my Grandad's family had to wear a flower corsage. I usually think they are cute but I didn't want to be associated with this shit show.
The ceremony itself was okay, I just tried not to pay attention and counted down til we could go to the bar, but afterwards my friend whispered to me "I especially enjoyed the part in the vows where they said with the exception of all others!"
For the drinks reception I had to endure my Grandad's pretentious friends coming to me to tell me how lovely it must be to see my Grandad getting married, and according to my friend, I had a fixed serial killer smile whilst she would run to the bar and swiftly press drinks in my hand.
We all had the meal and then the speeches, oh god, the speeches, I have never wanted to crawl under a rock so badly. First there was the best man speech, where he told the story of first meeting Grandad and X, telling everyone "it soon became clear what the arrangement was!" with a wink to the audience, and ended with a joke about my Grandmother being a frigid cow.
X's speech was sentimental bollocks about finding love, which is all well and good, but he was married to my Grandma at the time.
Her brother made a speech about how Grandad used to wait for X on the drive in his (insert expensive car here), again, whilst married to my Grandma.
The final straw was during Grandad's speech where he accidentally called X by my Grandma's name, and I walked out.
When I waited in the bar area, a staff member said she recognised alot of us, and I told her "Yeah, for Grandma's wake, this is my Grandad marrying his mistress at the same venue", and after thinking I was joking at first, the nice lady offered me the rest of the glasses of champagne that didn't get used during the toast as they would be tossed out anyway, and I gladly took them off her hands.
Overall I've never been so mortified in my life, not only was the whole thing incredibly tacky, but my Grandma would have been rolling in her grave.
My Uncle managed to escape this circus living abroad, but when he came to visit, they brought out a slice of wedding cake they saved it (English wedding cake keeps for months) and he later told me that when he left, he tossed it out of his car window as he drove off, hoping they saw him.
To add to the tackiness, when Grandad died, he left X a statue of a naked lady he had actually bought for my Grandma, and when we asked why, it came out that he bought it for Grandma, because it reminded him of X, and also to remind my Grandma that X was in the picture.
Sadly this shit runs in the family, as my Dad also had a few mistresses, but luckily I was mostly kept from that as my Mom divorced him when she found out. I have a wonderful boyfriend who luckily hasn't run a mile given my insane family story, and we plan to get married. The family joke is that we should marry at the same hotel as the one used for Grandma's wake and then Grandad's wedding, as we might get a family discount on the third event, but I think I have too much PTSD associated with the place.
Hope you all enjoyed my family wedding drama story, and hopefully this gets read!
*Edit - to add to this whole dumpster fire, when my Grandad died he asked for half of his ashes to be scattered where my Grandma was scattered, and half in the place he used to take his mistress for dirty weekend trips.
Edit 2: Thanks for all your comments! For those asking, X is still in the family picture. We have relatives that suck up to her in the hope that when she dies, she will leave them money, which means she's at every damn family event. My other half suggested finding a way to get Panic! At the Disco's I write sins not tragedies subtly playing in the background at every event she's at due to the first verse, and see if anyone picks up on it:
"Oh, well imagine As I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor And I can't help but to hear No, I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words "What a beautiful wedding What a beautiful wedding", says a bridesmaid to a waiter "And, yes, but what a shame What a shame the poor groom's bride is a whore" "
What can I say, he's an evil genius...
Edit 3: Thought I would mention there is a happy ending to this story. When my Grandad died, I refused to go to the funeral, and instead went to a bar with one of my best friends and got drunk on 2 for 1 pitchers of very potent Long Island Ice Tea whilst relatives who secretly agreed with me gave me the details from the funeral, like the celebrant saying what a wonderful family man my Grandad was, and my Uncle turning to my Dad whispering "I think we've turned up at the wrong funeral".
However, other family members kept trying to pressure me to go, and gave me grief afterwards for not going, so my male best friend at the time invited me for a week to stay with him on the other side of the country. We had "liked" eachother for a while but never acted on it because "Ewww we're best mates that would be weiiiiird", but I needed the escape, and gladly took him up on it.
From that week we ended up being a couple, decided on the last day of my stay, and since then we have been together for just over a year and a half, and plan to start making marriage preparations once our finances are better.
Whilst Karma didn't get my Grandad, because of his shitty actions leading me to not wanting to go to the funeral and leading me to go hide out with my best friend now turned boyfriend, it lead me to find my soul mate, so I guess everything happens for a reason. I love him dearly and he loves me, and he helps me to see my self worth, and treats me as an equal in the relationship, which is something I sadly never saw growing up witnessing my Grandad and his mistress and my Dad with his mistress. Sometimes shitty things happen for a reason I guess.

TLDR; This guy I don’t really know clearly has feelings for me. He seems sweet but I’m hesitant because I’m trans and his parents are apparently conservative. Guy is also trying a bit too hard and recently tried to impress me by potentially lying about being a fan of theater.
Heya, so I’m curious to see what people’s thoughts are on a little… situation I’m in. I (transmasc Junior) realized recently that a classmate (male Junior) almost certainly has feelings for me. I’ll call him “Kay” for now. Let me explain.
In my 6th period, I don’t really interact with people much. I’m certainly not shy, but it’s one of those core classes that has a mix of everyone and non of your usual crowd, so you end up struggling to make friends. Theres this small group of guys that I get along fairly well with, they’re accepting of my identity, really chill, and just the kind of dorks that I love surrounding myself with. Because I’ve always sorta had those four, I’ve never breached out to the rest of the class. Which is why it was unusual when another guy (who istg I had NEVER interacted with) approached me while we were changing seats for assigned groups and suddenly said hi. This is Kay.
It was a simple greeting and I thought nothing of it. I asked if he was in my assigned group, and he didn’t really respond and awkwardly shuffled away. Alright, a little weird, but nothing harmful and I forgot about it.
Two days later, the whole class is waiting outside for our teacher to show up and open the door. Kay suddenly approaches me and asked how I was. Reminder that I DON’T KNOW THIS GUY. I didn’t even know his NAME until a week after our first interaction when I overheard the teacher call him. He knew mine though, and I ended up feeling ridiculously guilty for it for that week I was trying to figure out what was happening.
Anyway, I digress.
When he asked me how I was, I was honest and told him I was looking forward to going home because of how tired I was from rehearsals. He asks about what I was rehearsing for, and I explained that I’m in my theater classes’s final show where we host it entirely on our own. But because of how little time we were given, we’ve been hauling ass with rehearsals that last from right after school until 7:30 at night. Then he did something that no one has ever done to me before:
He asked me to save him a ticket. He WANTED to go to this play I was in. No one besides immediate family ever wanted to go to a production I was in. Like… fuck, okay, if that isn’t a sign, I don’t know what is. I told him that I’d let him know when tickets went live.
Flash forward to that following Monday, our teacher spontaneously decided to change up the seating layout in her classroom and told people to sit wherever they wanted that day. I took a random seat and Kay sits, not next to me, but like a table over. I guess trying to not be too obvious? But then he hits me with this ringer “Hey Evan! How was your weekend” It was alright “Did you go to prom?” (Prom was that previous weekend)
Woah.
Now that felt like he just asked me if I was single.
So I tell him “Nah, not this year. But I will next year, for sure.”
His response? “Oh! Well, if you’re not going with anyone, maybe we could go together next year?” Then followed by the quick backtrack of: “As friends!”
Oh. Oh he is stupid. But it’s a kind of cute stupid that I don’t actually mind all that much. It’s sort of endearing how silly it is.
We don’t interact too much after that, I would note that during a class debate where we were split into two teams, he and I happened to be on the same team. Really, I was the only one on my team debating (and, not to brag, but to totally I won my team the debate and I was arguing the opposite of what I actually believed in), but he was the only one who tried to pitch in. Now what he said was out of pocket and didn’t match the stance I was going with at all, but it was sweet how he tried to help. He even leaned over after everything was said and done and thanked for winning the debate for my team.
Really, he seems sweet, but I barely know him. All I know is that he’s in the Medical Technology classes (based on how he wears scrubs once in a while) and apparently plays Call of Duty because he asked if I played. I might download it, just in case he asks again. I’m not the type to fall head over heels quickly. It takes me time. Especially as a trans guy who needs to be careful who they befriend and date because I never know what someone’s opinions of me or my identity is. Or if they even realize I am trans. I dress rather androgynous, leaning towards masculine, and my hair goes down to my collar bone in a sort of wolf-cut mullet thing. I’m short. I don’t passes very well, a lot of people tend to think I am just a bit androgynous rather than transmasc. I should be starting hormone replacement therapy later this summer, but this guy doesn’t know that. Sure I’m not traditionally feminine in the slightest and he has to be okay with that if he’s got a thing for me now. But does he know to what extent that goes? Is he just hoping for a tomboy girlfriend and not a boyfriend? Fuck, man, I don’t know.
With Kay, I’m particularly concerned because when I brought this up in my Theater class, I got two different responses which were not… great. One of my classmates literally squealed “EW!” because apparently he wasn’t a great guy in middle school. But I’m willing to see past that since that was 3+ years ago. People change and middle school tends to bring out the worst in everyone (middle schoolers are VICIOUS). But then my teacher had this sort of “Oh no…” kind of look. She explained that he’s a sweet guy, but his family is also extremely conservative. However, his older brother is apparently gay, so there’s that. Does he take after his brother or his parents? I genuinely have no clue, but I am praying to whatever got that is out there that he’s the former.
So yeah. Terrified of giving this guy a chance. I’m not disinterested, I want to give it a chance, get to know him before deciding how I feel because I literally have no way of knowing until we can have actual conversations beyond “how was your day?”
Then there’s today. We had another short “how are you” conversation and I told him I was stressed (again, because of my show), and he laid it on heavy that he was hoping to go, and I told him “Yeah! I remember you asking me to save you a ticket, but I’m not confident in its quality right now. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a theater production, but if you haven’t I wouldn’t want this one to be your first.”
He responds with: “Oh no, it’s not my first time, I’ve seen Hamilton and the nutcracker and stuff like that. I like theater.”
I was so excited at first because I thought he genuinely had an interest in Theater, but then a minute later I realized we saw both of those shows in our history class: one was Hamilton on Disney+ and we watched it when we were learning about the Revolution and what not, the other was when we saw a Ballet troupe perform the Nutcracker in our theater because our teacher was a guest dancer in it.
This. Mother fucker. Pretty much lied to my face to impress me. I don’t know if I should feel flattered that he’s trying so hard or insulted that he thought I’d fall for it.
I don’t even know how I feel. I almost want to just call him out and tell him to just ask for my number instead of trying to be someone he’s not to impress me. I might just do that. I’ll think about it.
Anywho, give me your thoughts on the situation. I’m at a loss, and tbh, my friends aren’t being the most helpful. Meanwhile my mom is telling me to play hard to get, which just feels cruel considering how hard he’s already trying.

A bit of context: A couple years ago my best friend of over 20 years got engaged. Growing up we always dreamed of being each other's maid of honor, and we were so excited for that to finally come to fruition. Shortly after I ended up coming out as a trans man (I am now 1.5 years on testosterone and pass decently well). She still wanted me to fill the role and instead we changed my title to “best man”.
It was my job to handle her bachelorette party and the guest list consisted of the bride (S), myself, my boyfriend, and three friends from S’s neighborhood who are all a tight knit group (I hadn’t met any of them prior). The group was non-responsive, with me having to triple text them just to get answers to my questions. All of this to say–I was quite anxious going in.
Now for the actual bachelorette party: We started the night at one of the neighborhood friend’s house. The two other neighbors arrived and were helping me set up all of the decorations I bought and were being sweet. S arrives and everyone has a couple drinks and we end up playing a card game that one of them brought. The cards had questions that everyone went around and answered. At one point I get up and leave the room to grab something and I hear the question “Who would look the best as the opposite gender?” I could hear the tension even from the other room and my friend goes “Well obviously (my name)”--I was trying to diffuse the tension and chimed in “Oh ya definitely me–I was cute pre T”. At that point I come back in the room and see S huddled over her phone scrolling, with it turned to the neighbor friends. I walk over to see what they’re looking at and it's my instagram page–she had scrolled all the way back to 2016 (through hundreds of my pre transition pictures) and was showing them a picture of me with long hair and looking all dolled up. She said “Oh I probably should’ve asked you if that was ok huh?”. My heart was racing and I felt like I was having an out of body experience and because I didn’t want to make a big fuss less than an hour after meeting these women I was like “Oh it’s fine!”--complete fawn response. Her friends then started bombarding me with questions about my transition and if I was “a male or female”. I kept explaining that I was a trans man, to which she goes “but what is your BIRTH sex?” and I say “female”. She then proceeded to go on about “Ohhhh ok I can see that now! I can see the balance of feminine and masculine in your face. I can see where if your hair was this current color in that picture you would look the same”. S just sat there, saying nothing and smiling the whole time. This entire interaction was made worse by the fact that later in the night the women were once again looking at a phone S was holding and when I came over and said “What are we all looking at?” she turned the phone away from me and asked one of the women “Is it ok if I show it?”--she said yes and S revealed that it was just a picture of a wedding dress that one of the newly engaged women had tried on.
Shortly after we all head out to dinner. At this point S wasn't drinking and hadn’t had anything to drink in roughly an hour. They were all gossiping about their neighbors and other things and at one point S very nonchalantly informed me that my boyfriend and I were going to be moved to a different table for the reception–instead of sitting with her family as was originally planned. She goes on to say that her mom’s boyfriend (of less than one year) isn’t comfortable sitting next to trans people. She then corrects herself and says “Well actually he didn’t say that–my mom just thinks he’d be uncomfortable and asked that you be moved”. Now. I have known this woman for over 20 years of my life. She is like a second mother to me. To say that I was gutted is an understatement. The waitress overheard the conversation and said “Oh my god that’s horrible! I’m so sorry I don’t mean to interrupt but that’s just awful!”. So it clearly wasn’t just me who understood how awful it was. S then proceeded to make excuses for why he thought that way/why she said that. Namely that he was “assaulted by a man when he was younger”. Again, I had a fawn response as I was just trying to keep it together. Earlier in the night she had been talking the guy up and several times mentioned that he “met RuPaul” as if that was an indicator that he was a good person–but now knowing that the whole time she was aware that he’s transphobic it feels insane that she kept feeling the need to sprinkle that in over and over.
These are just the most egregious things but there were microaggressions that she said through the night (ie going out of her way to inform me that she’s still using they/them pronouns for me because she’s still getting used to he/him–I’ve been going by he/him for over a year now).
All the while my boyfriend was deeply triggered and traumatized by the events as he is also transgender and it brought him right back to when he was earlier on in his transition and had to deal with things like this. He felt paralyzed as I had asked him prior to not say anything if the women made any inappropriate comments–but I never expected comments from S. He cried once we got back and was rattled for days after.
We slept at S’s home and in the morning we were drinking coffee with her and her fiance. Once again she brings up the situation with her mom nonchalantly and tells him that she told us. I say “Hey–about that, I really think that I didn’t need to know that. I really would’ve preferred if you had just moved us without letting us know why or made up an excuse”. Her fiance had a look on his face and she said that he was adamant that I should never be told and that his initial reaction to the mom’s request was that her boyfriend just shouldn’t be invited to the wedding. I also let her know that I was uncomfortable that she was showing strangers my pre-transition pictures without asking me. I kept the conversation very brief and frankly overly nice. She apologized and I left and my boyfriend and I went home.
As the day went on the shock started to wear off and I was more and more hurt. I texted her and stressed how much it hurt that she scrolled for multiple minutes through hundreds of my pre transition pictures without asking me, but thought to ask her friend for permission to show me a picture of a dress. She profusely apologized and I dropped it. In the morning I woke up to a lengthy text of her saying that she thought she had asked for my permission to show the pictures and that she never would’ve done it without asking for my consent and that it was all a misunderstanding. I responded stating that I had been out of the room when the question got pulled and when I walked in she was already several years deep in my instagram and then commented “Oh I probably should’ve asked you if that was ok”. The next day the reality of the situation with her mom began to fully sink in and I got angrier and angrier about how she could request that I be moved, after knowing me so long, and how S made excuses for her mom and mom’s boyfriend. I decided to send a voice memo rather than a text so that she could hear that my tone was of hurt rather than screaming and yelling. The purpose was to get her to understand the severity of the situation and how if you replace “trans” with any other minority group it instantly becomes apparent how messed up the situation was. I played the audio for several people and everyone said that it made them sad for me and that I expressed my feelings in a really calm and respectful way. S initially responded that night saying that she needed time to properly respond.
After a week of radio silence she finally replied and said that my messages had been “troubling and frightening” and that “I don’t have the resources right now to make my wedding feel like a safe space for you/us”. I was beyond shocked that her response was to uninvite me to the wedding and I let her know that I couldn’t be friends with her after the way she had handled everything. Later in the day she called me (I didn’t pick up) and texted me saying that her fiance was begging her to call me and make up and that she thought she was doing me a favor by uninviting me and that she thought my audio message was to intentionally kick her while she was down and was me “begging to be uninvited”. I feel like she is backpedaling HARD and mainly because of her fiancé.
Thank you to everyone who read this novel of a post. What do you all think–am I overreacting?

Hey Two Hot Takes sub Reddit! I am a huge fan of this podcast (binged watched all your videos) and I can’t believe it’s come to this and I am writing Reddit for help. But need advice in figuring out what is considered normal as I’m so confused at this point. I tend to overthink and get in my head a lot, always wondering “maybe I’m just crazy” and this community gives really solid advice so I have a lot of trust.
Context: my boyfriend and I both relocated to a different country so we can live together. I have two cats 1 10y old that I had before I met my boyfriend and one 2y old that I got while we were together.
When we started dating he knew I had a cat that I really love and when I relocated to Europe to be able to be with him I took her with me. While we were dating he would help out occasionally (scoop litter, feed, play, ect) and he got along very well with her. As my work took up a large portion of my day (and sometimes I had to go in business trips), I felt bad that my cat was often left alone to play with herself so after a year and a half or so of living together the three of us I got another cat to help keep my cat company. She didn’t like him at first but now they are so cute together and keep each other busy all day. My partner initially complained that scooping litter sucked (I agreed) so we bought an automatic litter box that needs to be changed once a week. It’s been some time now and the only thing I ask him to do is empty out the litter’s storage bin (as his chore is also to take out the trash so I guessed the two were related). He also mentioned he preferred this activity over feeding them as I like to feed my cats wet food and he hates the smell and to prepare it.
Recently he’s been saying he never wanted cats, would’ve never owned cats if it was his decision and does not think he should be expected to help out with their care. He can help if he wants to but disagrees with it being expected of him. I’m quite shocked at this as this only started recently in our 4 year relationship and I’ve had cats before I met him. I’m also under the assumption that if you date someone with a pet (dog,cat,rabbit, ect) that’s it’s normal to help out with the care of it. Also I view having a pet as a great way to see how someone will be as a parent / capable of taking care of other things. He disagrees, he thinks just because you date someone with a pet, does not mean you help out. The pet belongs to that person and is the sole responsibility of that person. I’m so confused and am starting to feel like the way I think must not be normal. I am not super experienced when it comes to serious relationships… Any help here? Also as an additional question, where do I go from here? How do I handle this with my partner? We’ve had this discussion several times and it comes up again when something unfortunate happens with the cats that causes an inconvenience and he always immediately jumps to being mad at them and saying he never wanted them ect.
TLDR: my boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years. I had a cat before we got together that I relocated with when our relationship started and he recently started saying since he never wanted cats he should not be expected to help out at all in taking care of them. The pet belongs to the owner and the owner has sole responsibility over it. My thoughts are that if you get into a relationship with someone with a pet, as a partner you want to be involved in the pet and help out, it’s only normal. Help? What is considered normal?

I know, I know “don’t shit where you eat.” I don’t intend to do this again but I’m in a bit of a pickle.
Advice is welcome.
So I (32f) was in a serious 2.5 year with a man (28) who worked in a different department at my current job. About 1.5 years into the relationship, he transferred to a different site for work-related purposes. We were still together when he decided to change locations. Also… thinking the relationship would last we moved in together a year ago.
Unfortunately we broke up months after living together (after Thanksgiving). We are on good terms and agreed to remain living together until the lease is done. Advice is not needed for this part, I’m just sharing for context.
Problem is shortly after we started dating, we were open about being together with other staff in the building, including my coworkers. I didn’t think much of it at the time because we were all in looove and everyone thought we were such a cute couple blah blah. So it was cool people knew. But we are very much not together anymore and now it’s just me left at job site.
These days, I get asked about him at work from time to time. In passing people say “how is your boyfriend” “is he treating you good?” “tell your boyfriend I said hi.” These are usually random conversations and I will answer briefly to at least get them off my back but I don’t want to pretend we’re together I just don’t know if I should start saying “actually we broke up, but I’ll tell him you said ‘hey!’”
Should I update them that we broke up or just go along with it for now? I don’t necessarily care if they know we broke up, I’m just not sure if it’s wise to do and if I let them know, how to make it least awkward as possible. I guess I’m just wary about the potential awkwardness after telling them.
Also, this is not a forever-job I am finishing up undergrad by the end of this year and plan to look for work in a different industry shortly after.
TLDR: ex bf and I had a public romantic relationship at the job, we moved in, then broke up late last year. Also, he is no longer at the site with me. I am struggling to know if I should update everyone (when the topic comes up) or should I continue going along with it?

Burner for privacy, names omitted
"People spend their entire lives looking for someone like that, and don't find it" - My Dad
We met in September 2023, the fall semester of our Freshman year of College. We started officially dating on November 17, 2023. and we broke it off on May 11, 2024 at midnight. Just a few days ago, I was dumped over video call. My now ex girlfriend 18F asked to call me 19M because she wanted to talk about "something important". Immediately I was nervous because previously, when she texted like that, it was because she wanted to discuss the state of our relationship; to air out greivances, to address ongoing issues, to restructure the way we interact, etc. Anyway, I joined the call, she was unable to speak, and to fill the silence I excitedly list off all the things I had been thinking and doing. After I ran out of things to talk about, she told me that we are polar opposites in the way we physically express affection, and for that reason, she didn't see a future where the two of us would be together and fully satisfied by the relationship we have.
I love physical affection: hugging, kissing, holding hands, etc. It didn't matter whether we were in public or alone, I loved to do it and was clear about that. Around midway between our start as a couple and our breakup, she communicated to me that she didn't like physical affection as much, and in some cases found it mentally and physically draining. I didn't completely understand, and even now can't pinpoint a pattern relating circumstance and desire for physical affection. Nonetheless, I respected her word, and made a point to ask if she was ok with being hugged before I did it.
After she assured me that she had made up her mind, I asked her repeatedly if there were any other factors contributing to her desire to break up, and she assured me that it was only this singular point of contention. She explained that there would be times that I would cross a physical boundary, and when she would pull away, I would make chase like it was some sort of game. And, regretfully, I did think of those interactions as a game, just, not how she did. When she would settle into my arms and press herself against me, I thought it was because I had won her over, as if I had persuaded her to let me have her in my arms. She told me that she submitted because she was tired of constantly having to tell me no. She wasn't enjoying it, and I thought she was.
Saying all of that outright makes our relationship sound so cold and mechanical, right? Well that couldn't be further from the truth.
F and I clicked so easily when we first met. She taught me how to bake, I taught her how to cook her favorite dish, and our senses of humor bounced off of each other infectiously. When I was sick she came to my dorm and fed me. When she came back to our state from the airport after Thanksiving my parents and I drove out to pick her up and fed her lunch before we left to school together. We went from talking to dating so fast that I joked about our scenario being akin to the plot of a romcom anime. Our philosophical views aligned, our ideals in a romantic partner aligned, our sexual preferences aligned. Whenever there was some sort of issue, we would talk about solving it until we were both content with the consensus. We were the couple that our friends took candid pictures of and posted to mutual groupchats saying how we make them feel sick, lonely, and single, and how seeing the two of us together made them feel like "jumping off the 3rd floor balcony of the [Student Union]", I had come to think that we could do anything and go anywhere together, that this was the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I would jokingly hint about marriage, and she would reciprocate the joke and dig her head into my chest. Things like *points at a picture of old couple on food packaging* "this is literally us, all old and shit together", to which she responded with "yeah, we could do that... grow old together". She told me that she has never felt more content with a relationship in her life, saying that I made her feel so safe and happy.
These are the contents of a card she gave to me on my 19th Birthday (April): "Dear [my name], HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY!!! Thank you for being an awesome cooking partner, lock-in buddy, and most of all wonderful boyfriend. Not a day goes by without you making me laugh. You spark joy in my life, and I truly cannot imagine how every day would be without taking to you or seeing your smile. Thank you for always being there for me. I feel so incredibly grateful and lucky to have gotten to know you during this short year. It really bogggles my mind how one person can be so cute, handsome, passionate, hard-working, talented, and kind. You really are an inspiring person and I could not have asked for a better person to eat with, laugh with, and love every day. Thank you for making my life brighter!..."
I am confident that she enjoyed our time together, I am confident that she was sad about the breakup too, and I am confident that she was always honest when she confided in me.
I don't know if this is pertinent to the conversation, but F's parents are separated, but not divorced. Her father often leaves for "business", and his affairs are an open secret. This development surfaced a few year before I met her, and it emotionally crushed her. Her father was very unloving, and even taught her that "people who want physical affection are just needy". Her parents have also historically been against romantic relationships, and when we revealed that we were dating to her mother at one of F's performances, her mother outright didn't discuss it with her, and refused to talk to her for a short period of time.
She told me she still cares about me, and that she wants to remain friends. I know though that if we were to remain as friends, I wouldn't be able to keep my feelings hidden.
I want to talk about it to people at my school, but I'm not close with any of them like that, and will likely come off as a needy, self-absorbed killjoy. I don't know what to do with myself, and have felt frozen from productivity since this incident. I want to win her back, but know that I shouldn't. I feel so powerless, and I feel so useless, because I know there is nothing I can do now but move on with my life. I don't know what I was hoping for with this post, maybe to just have a wall to cry into?
I fear that I'll never find someone as perfect as her again.
それがあなたの幸せとしても - Spotify

A bit of context: A couple years ago my best friend of over 20 years got engaged. Growing up we always dreamed of being each other's maid of honor, and we were so excited for that to finally come to fruition. Shortly after I ended up coming out as a trans man (I am now 1.5 years on testosterone and pass decently well). She still wanted me to fill the role and instead we changed my title to “best man”.
It was my job to handle her bachelorette party and the guest list consisted of the bride (S), myself, my boyfriend, and three friends from S’s neighborhood who are all a tight knit group (I hadn’t met any of them prior). Trying to organize it was like pulling teeth, as I got iced out by the group after shutting down one’s suggestion of a Harry Potter themed bachelorette party at the largest queer club in the state (the bride is pan and marrying a man, and the other three women were straight). For anyone not aware the author is transphobic and refers to trans people as sexual predators. I told her that having a Harry Potter themed party in that setting could open the door to confrontation which I thought would be very anxiety inducing for S. The group was non-responsive, with me having to triple text them just to get answers to my questions. All of this to say–I was quite anxious going in.
Now for the actual bachelorette party: We started the night at one of the neighborhood friend’s house. The two other neighbors arrived and were helping me set up all of the decorations I bought and were being sweet. S arrives and everyone has a couple drinks and we end up playing a card game that one of them brought. The cards had questions that everyone went around and answered. At one point I get up and leave the room to grab something and I hear the question “Who would look the best as the opposite gender?” I could hear the tension even from the other room and my friend goes “Well obviously (my name)”--I was trying to diffuse the tension and chimed in “Oh ya definitely me–I was cute pre T”. At that point I come back in the room and see S huddled over her phone scrolling, with it turned to the neighbor friends. I walk over to see what they’re looking at and it's my instagram page–she had scrolled all the way back to 2016 (through hundreds of my pre transition pictures) and was showing them a picture of me with long hair and looking all dolled up. She said “Oh I probably should’ve asked you if that was ok huh?”. My heart was racing and I felt like I was having an out of body experience and because I didn’t want to make a big fuss less than an hour after meeting these women I was like “Oh it’s fine!”--complete fawn response. Her friends then started bombarding me with questions about my transition and if I was “a male or female”. I kept explaining that I was a trans man, to which she goes “but what is your BIRTH sex?” and I say “female”. She then proceeded to go on about “Ohhhh ok I can see that now! I can see the balance of feminine and masculine in your face. I can see where if your hair was this current color in that picture you would look the same”. S just sat there, saying nothing and smiling the whole time. This entire interaction was made worse by the fact that later in the night the women were once again looking at a phone S was holding and when I came over and said “What are we all looking at?” she turned the phone away from me and asked one of the women “Is it ok if I show it?”--she said yes and S revealed that it was just a picture of a wedding dress that one of the newly engaged women had tried on.
Shortly after we all head out to dinner. At this point S wasn't drinking and hadn’t had anything to drink in roughly an hour. They were all gossiping about their neighbors and other things and at one point S very nonchalantly informed me that my boyfriend and I were going to be moved to a different table for the reception–instead of sitting with her family as was originally planned. She goes on to say that her mom’s boyfriend (of less than one year) isn’t comfortable sitting next to trans people. She then corrects herself and says “Well actually he didn’t say that–my mom just thinks he’d be uncomfortable and asked that you be moved”. Now. I have known this woman for over 20 years of my life. She is like a second mother to me. To say that I was gutted is an understatement. The waitress overheard the conversation and said “Oh my god that’s horrible! I’m so sorry I don’t mean to interrupt but that’s just awful!”. So it clearly wasn’t just me who understood how awful it was. S then proceeded to make excuses for why he thought that way/why she said that. Namely that he was “assaulted by a man when he was younger”. Again, I had a fawn response as I was just trying to keep it together. Earlier in the night she had been talking the guy up and several times mentioned that he “met RuPaul” as if that was an indicator that he was a good person–but now knowing that the whole time she was aware that he’s transphobic it feels insane that she kept feeling the need to sprinkle that in over and over.
These are just the most egregious things but there were microaggressions that she said through the night (ie going out of her way to inform me that she’s still using they/them pronouns for me because she’s still getting used to he/him–I’ve been going by he/him for over a year now).
All the while my boyfriend was deeply triggered and traumatized by the events as he is also transgender and it brought him right back to when he was earlier on in his transition and had to deal with things like this. He felt paralyzed as I had asked him prior to not say anything if the women made any inappropriate comments–but I never expected comments from S. He cried once we got back and was rattled for days after.
We slept at S’s home and in the morning we were drinking coffee with her and her fiance. Once again she brings up the situation with her mom nonchalantly and tells him that she told us. I say “Hey–about that, I really think that I didn’t need to know that. I really would’ve preferred if you had just moved us without letting us know why or made up an excuse”. Her fiance had a look on his face and she said that he was adamant that I should never be told and that his initial reaction to the mom’s request was that her boyfriend just shouldn’t be invited to the wedding. I also let her know that I was uncomfortable that she was showing strangers my pre-transition pictures without asking me. I kept the conversation very brief and frankly overly nice. She apologized and I left and my boyfriend and I went home.
As the day went on the shock started to wear off and I was more and more hurt. I texted her and stressed how much it hurt that she scrolled for multiple minutes through hundreds of my pre transition pictures without asking me, but thought to ask her friend for permission to show me a picture of a dress. She profusely apologized and I dropped it. In the morning I woke up to a lengthy text of her saying that she thought she had asked for my permission to show the pictures and that she never would’ve done it without asking for my consent and that it was all a misunderstanding. I responded stating that I had been out of the room when the question got pulled and when I walked in she was already several years deep in my instagram and then commented “Oh I probably should’ve asked you if that was ok”. The next day the reality of the situation with her mom began to fully sink in and I got angrier and angrier about how she could request that I be moved, after knowing me so long, and how S made excuses for her mom and mom’s boyfriend. I decided to send a voice memo rather than a text so that she could hear that my tone was of hurt rather than screaming and yelling. The purpose was to get her to understand the severity of the situation and how if you replace “trans” with any other minority group it instantly becomes apparent how messed up the situation was. I played the audio for several people and everyone said that it made them sad for me and that I expressed my feelings in a really calm and respectful way. S initially responded that night saying that she needed time to properly respond.
After a week of radio silence she finally replied and said that my messages had been “troubling and frightening” and that “I don’t have the resources right now to make my wedding feel like a safe space for you/us”. I was beyond shocked that her response was to uninvite me to the wedding and I let her know that I couldn’t be friends with her after the way she had handled everything. Later in the day she called me (I didn’t pick up) and texted me saying that her fiance was begging her to call me and make up and that she thought she was doing me a favor by uninviting me and that she thought my audio message was to intentionally kick her while she was down and was me “begging to be uninvited”. I feel like she is backpedaling HARD and mainly because of her fiancé.
Thank you to everyone who read this novel of a post. What do you all think–am I overreacting?

A bit of context: A couple years ago my best friend of over 20 years got engaged. Growing up we always dreamed of being each other's maid of honor, and we were so excited for that to finally come to fruition. Shortly after I ended up coming out as a trans man (I am now 1.5 years on testosterone and pass decently well). She still wanted me to fill the role and instead we changed my title to “best man”.
It was my job to handle her bachelorette party and the guest list consisted of the bride (S), myself, my boyfriend, and three friends from S’s neighborhood who are all a tight knit group (I hadn’t met any of them prior). Trying to organize it was like pulling teeth, as I got iced out by the group after shutting down one’s suggestion of a Harry Potter themed bachelorette party at the largest queer club in the state (the bride is pan and marrying a man, and the other three women were straight). For anyone not aware the author is transphobic and refers to trans people as sexual predators. I told her that having a Harry Potter themed party in that setting could open the door to confrontation which I thought would be very anxiety inducing for S. The group was non-responsive, with me having to triple text them just to get answers to my questions. All of this to say–I was quite anxious going in.
Now for the actual bachelorette party: We started the night at one of the neighborhood friend’s house. The two other neighbors arrived and were helping me set up all of the decorations I bought and were being sweet. S arrives and everyone has a couple drinks and we end up playing a card game that one of them brought. The cards had questions that everyone went around and answered. At one point I get up and leave the room to grab something and I hear the question “Who would look the best as the opposite gender?” I could hear the tension even from the other room and my friend goes “Well obviously (my name)”--I was trying to diffuse the tension and chimed in “Oh ya definitely me–I was cute pre T”. At that point I come back in the room and see S huddled over her phone scrolling, with it turned to the neighbor friends. I walk over to see what they’re looking at and it's my instagram page–she had scrolled all the way back to 2016 (through hundreds of my pre transition pictures) and was showing them a picture of me with long hair and looking all dolled up. She said “Oh I probably should’ve asked you if that was ok huh?”. My heart was racing and I felt like I was having an out of body experience and because I didn’t want to make a big fuss less than an hour after meeting these women I was like “Oh it’s fine!”--complete fawn response. Her friends then started bombarding me with questions about my transition and if I was “a male or female”. I kept explaining that I was a trans man, to which she goes “but what is your BIRTH sex?” and I say “female”. She then proceeded to go on about “Ohhhh ok I can see that now! I can see the balance of feminine and masculine in your face. I can see where if your hair was this current color in that picture you would look the same”. S just sat there, saying nothing and smiling the whole time. This entire interaction was made worse by the fact that later in the night the women were once again looking at a phone S was holding and when I came over and said “What are we all looking at?” she turned the phone away from me and asked one of the women “Is it ok if I show it?”--she said yes and S revealed that it was just a picture of a wedding dress that one of the newly engaged women had tried on.
Shortly after we all head out to dinner. At this point S wasn't drinking and hadn’t had anything to drink in roughly an hour. They were all gossiping about their neighbors and other things and at one point S very nonchalantly informed me that my boyfriend and I were going to be moved to a different table for the reception–instead of sitting with her family as was originally planned. She goes on to say that her mom’s boyfriend (of less than one year) isn’t comfortable sitting next to trans people. She then corrects herself and says “Well actually he didn’t say that–my mom just thinks he’d be uncomfortable and asked that you be moved”. Now. I have known this woman for over 20 years of my life. She is like a second mother to me. To say that I was gutted is an understatement. The waitress overheard the conversation and said “Oh my god that’s horrible! I’m so sorry I don’t mean to interrupt but that’s just awful!”. So it clearly wasn’t just me who understood how awful it was. S then proceeded to make excuses for why he thought that way/why she said that. Namely that he was “assaulted by a man when he was younger”. Again, I had a fawn response as I was just trying to keep it together. Earlier in the night she had been talking the guy up and several times mentioned that he “met RuPaul” as if that was an indicator that he was a good person–but now knowing that the whole time she was aware that he’s transphobic it feels insane that she kept feeling the need to sprinkle that in over and over.
These are just the most egregious things but there were microaggressions that she said through the night (ie going out of her way to inform me that she’s still using they/them pronouns for me because she’s still getting used to he/him–I’ve been going by he/him for over a year now).
All the while my boyfriend was deeply triggered and traumatized by the events as he is also transgender and it brought him right back to when he was earlier on in his transition and had to deal with things like this. He felt paralyzed as I had asked him prior to not say anything if the women made any inappropriate comments–but I never expected comments from S. He cried once we got back and was rattled for days after.
We slept at S’s home and in the morning we were drinking coffee with her and her fiance. Once again she brings up the situation with her mom nonchalantly and tells him that she told us. I say “Hey–about that, I really think that I didn’t need to know that. I really would’ve preferred if you had just moved us without letting us know why or made up an excuse”. Her fiance had a look on his face and she said that he was adamant that I should never be told and that his initial reaction to the mom’s request was that her boyfriend just shouldn’t be invited to the wedding. I also let her know that I was uncomfortable that she was showing strangers my pre-transition pictures without asking me. I kept the conversation very brief and frankly overly nice. She apologized and I left and my boyfriend and I went home.
As the day went on the shock started to wear off and I was more and more hurt. I texted her and stressed how much it hurt that she scrolled for multiple minutes through hundreds of my pre transition pictures without asking me, but thought to ask her friend for permission to show me a picture of a dress. She profusely apologized and I dropped it. In the morning I woke up to a lengthy text of her saying that she thought she had asked for my permission to show the pictures and that she never would’ve done it without asking for my consent and that it was all a misunderstanding. I responded stating that I had been out of the room when the question got pulled and when I walked in she was already several years deep in my instagram and then commented “Oh I probably should’ve asked you if that was ok”. The next day the reality of the situation with her mom began to fully sink in and I got angrier and angrier about how she could request that I be moved, after knowing me so long, and how S made excuses for her mom and mom’s boyfriend. I decided to send a voice memo rather than a text so that she could hear that my tone was of hurt rather than screaming and yelling. The purpose was to get her to understand the severity of the situation and how if you replace “trans” with any other minority group it instantly becomes apparent how messed up the situation was. I played the audio for several people and everyone said that it made them sad for me and that I expressed my feelings in a really calm and respectful way. S initially responded that night saying that she needed time to properly respond.
After a week of radio silence she finally replied and said that my messages had been “troubling and frightening” and that “I don’t have the resources right now to make my wedding feel like a safe space for you/us”. I was beyond shocked that her response was to uninvite me to the wedding and I let her know that I couldn’t be friends with her after the way she had handled everything. Later in the day she called me (I didn’t pick up) and texted me saying that her fiance was begging her to call me and make up and that she thought she was doing me a favor by uninviting me and that she thought my audio message was to intentionally kick her while she was down and was me “begging to be uninvited”. I feel like she is backpedaling HARD and mainly because of her fiancé.
Thank you to everyone who read this novel of a post. What do you all think—did I overreact?
the “frightening” texts are posted in the comments

AITA if I think my girlfriend posts about me too much on instagram?
Me (M20) and my girlfriend (F19) have been together for over 6 months. Ive enjoyed our time together for the most part, but it all seemed to change in December after we had made our first instagram post with us together as a couple for Christmas. After her initial post she also posted me multiple times on her story saying how she loves me and thinks I’m cute. To preface, I am the first person she has ever been with romantically, and I think a part of this might be because I’m her first love, but she started to creep me out how often she began posting about me after that point.
Her following post was the next week at my friend Max’s New Years Eve party (not his real name). She kept coming up to me every hour or so and taking a picture of us together, sometimes sitting in my lap, and other times making me stand with her and her friend to take a picture. That night she posted an odd number of times on her Instagram/Snapchat stories (4 or 5) and made a post later that night on instagram. I honestly thought that it was kind of odd considering she had 1, just posted about me on instagram last week, and 2 she posted so many times on her Snapchat and Insta stories that same night.
After that instance she suddenly became comfortable about taking photos of me anywhere, she began to take pictures of us just casually hanging out, and it even got to the point where she started posting videos me pulling out of her parents driveway when I was leaving.
Even on weeks where we don’t hangout, she will find instagram filters like “if you love your man post him” or MCM (Man Crush Monday) and make collages on her story. Its gotten to the point where I think it’s annoying friends and family on her instagram feed, and posts about us only get a few if any likes.
On average I would say that she makes posts on her feed almost once a week, and on her stories about once or twice a week. However If its a day that we hangout with our friends or go and do something, she can post upwards of 10+ times, and has done this in the past at a friends birthday party. I politely confronted her after this, and she told me that shes just appreciative for her boyfriend, and kind of found it disrespectful that I considered that odd. Am I overreacting? Or is it a uncomfortable thing that she is posting about me to this degree?

Me (M20) and my girlfriend (F19) have been together for over 6 months. Ive enjoyed our time together for the most part, but it all seemed to change in December after we had made our first instagram post with us together as a couple for Christmas. After her initial post she also posted me multiple times on her story saying how she loves me and thinks I’m cute. To preface, I am the first person she has ever been with romantically, and I think a part of this might be because I’m her first love, but she started to creep me out how often she began posting about me after that point.
Her following post was the next week at my friend Max’s New Years Eve party (not his real name). She kept coming up to me every hour or so and taking a picture of us together, sometimes sitting in my lap, and other times making me stand with her and her friend to take a picture. That night she posted an odd number of times on her Instagram/Snapchat stories (4 or 5) and made a post later that night on instagram. I honestly thought that it was kind of odd considering she had 1, just posted about me on instagram last week, and 2 she posted so many times on her Snapchat and Insta stories that same night.
After that instance she suddenly became comfortable about taking photos of me anywhere, she began to take pictures of us just casually hanging out, and it even got to the point where she started posting videos me pulling out of her parents driveway when I was leaving.
Even on weeks where we don’t hangout, she will find instagram filters like “if you love your man post him” or MCM (Man Crush Monday) and make collages on her story. Its gotten to the point where I think it’s annoying friends and family on her instagram feed, and posts about us only get a few if any likes.
On average I would say that she makes posts on her feed almost once a week, and on her stories about once or twice a week. However If its a day that we hangout with our friends or go and do something, she can post upwards of 10+ times, and has done this in the past at a friends birthday party. I politely confronted her after this, and she told me that shes just appreciative for her boyfriend, and kind of found it disrespectful that I considered that odd. Am I overreacting? Or is it a uncomfortable thing that she is posting about me to this degree?