TW: brief mentions of depression, suicidal ideation, and attempted suicide
When I (28F) was growing up, I was the golden child of the family. I didn't know it back then. Up until I was in high school I had a younger sister and an older half sister I only saw a few times a year. It wasn't like I never got in trouble or got yelled at, in fact I have a very vivid and hurtful memory where I was called a liar by my parents when I was being 100% truthful (they just didn't want to hear it and wanted someone to be mad at I guess), and then I was told to just "suck it up and get over it". But compared to my younger sister, who was compared to me in every way, I always had the perfect grades, perfect attitude, perfect behavior, etc. Our parents, especially our mother, who was the main parent taking care of us during the week, pretty much pitted us against each other constantly. My little sister was being told she needed to be more like me, and I was told my sister was a bad kid. I would try to help her stay out of trouble as a kid and would get mad when she didn't listen to me because i didnt understand she was just being herself and didn't need to be exactly like me. Up until college, I didn't understand that my sister didn't need to change, she needed her parents to love her as she was and help her instead of trying to mold her into some ideal of perfection. We were picked apart constantly about every little thing we did, and I was expected to always somehow know everything even if I'd never learned it before. My house was full of constant yelling due to the extremely high expectations and my mother's terrible temper, and it became a very stressful place to be starting when i was around 10. We went through a lot of financial hardships as well since I was very young, so I dont want to dismiss how hard things were for my parents and how much they went through. But I have always been hyper aware of how much it costs for me to exist as my mom stressed so many times over the years that she couldn't afford to buy even a new shirt because she had to buy stuff for us, as if that was at all our fault.
When i was in high school, my baby brother was born. He pretty much instantly became the new golden child, not only because he was the youngest and the only boy, but because it became clear at a very young age how intelligent he is. I was a straight A honors kid and he was blowing me out of the water since he learned to read. I didn't mind at all because 1) I was going to be going to college in a couple years, and 2) with our age difference, he was as much my son as my brother, and I took on a very loving parental role with him of my own volition. I also saw the promise in him and I wanted him to live a happy life. My little sister and him are very close to this day, at least to my knowledge. During this time they were still coming down really hard on my little sister, treating her as well as they always had - meaning they still yelled at her constantly and were overly critical of her and everything she even thought about doing. They talked about sending her to military school more than once, and pretty much resigned themselves to the idea my sister would never be able to live on her own before she even got to high school, let alone graduated.
Flash forward to when I was in college, I started coming home and noticing things about how my parents treated my sister, and for the first time I saw it for how terrible it was for her. The distance and time I spent away from the house helped my little sister and I completely change our relationship by my second or third year. What really solidified it was a series of events that happened my junior and senior years of college.
My sister moved to our town with her husband with their 2 very young boys, and we soon found out she was pregnant with twins. That is kind of where it all began to fall apart. Time showed not only that her husband is a massive pos, but also potentially abusive, although we never got concrete proof. As my sister's pregnancy progressed and they struggled to get on their feet, my parents started watching my nephews for hours at a time, sometimes the whole day. And if my parents had to babysit out of nowhere and put their lives on hold, me and my younger siblings were expected to do the same. No toys, no books, no games - nothing. Essentially, the entire house was expected to babysit in a way that i have been told wasn't normal. Even my little brother was expected to take on this role in caring for kids who were only a couple years younger than him. I spent my entire childhood taking care of my little sister and then my baby brother, and I hated seeing how they were doing the same to him when me and my little sister were at the age where it shouldve been left up to us. I started really butting heads with my parents as the situation progressed because they started yelling at my baby brother when the boys would even bump their heads even though it wasnt his fault. He never mistreated them, hit them, pushed them , or anything, so my parents justified it by saying he wasn't being a "good uncle" by "letting them" bump their heads on the tv stand, for example. He was expected to let them play with all of his toys, and my mom tried letting the boys use things that were very important to my brother, which would've ended up with the boys taking those things home. Saying it that way makes it sound a lot more mild that it was, but I'm trying to save time and not give out too many personal details. I guess you could say in short, my parents began expecting my elementary school age brother to give up his time, his space, his toys, his gifts - anything that meant anything to him, to help care for children when he was still a child not much older than them. I ended up giving my baby brother my room to not only keep his stuff in, but to sleep in.
In the end, my sister had the twins and then moved back to her home state about 6 months later. We think her no good husband lied to her about us and she cut contact with all of us, and we haven't heard from her since. In our house, the damage was done. I had long conversations with my little sister when our parents weren't around about how she needed to get out because of how they were treating her, and how I would eventually graduate and move to a city where I could find a job. But neither of us wanted to leave our little brother in that house because we were worried how they would treat him when we both left. Our parents had already proven they would throw any of us to the side at any second, even their golden child baby boy, and blame even him for anything that went wrong. Our parents have a history of spilling all our business at any holiday meal and badmouthing any little mistake. They would talk shit about us in front of us and shame us in front of family our entire lives, and if my sister and i weren't there to take the brunt of it, how long until they turned on my baby brother. Would they even wait until he wasn't "perfect" anymore?
Throughout all of this, I was struggling a lot in college, and starting around junior year i became very depressed and suicidal, which resulted in a major attempt in my 5th year of college, which to this day i don't like talking about. Before that, however, I went to my mom about feeling depressed and told her i thought i needed to talk to someone. She brushed me off. I was dumb enough to think that maybe she thought i was exaggerating, so i tried a second time to ask her for help about a year later, and she brushed me off again. Part of me blames her almost entirely for my attempts, because i came to her before any of them because i knew thats where it was headed if i didnt get help. All she had to do was make a couple phone calls to find me someone to talk to and she couldn't even do that for me. I was a scared girl who needed her mom's help because i didnt know who to turn to, and she turned her back on me. After my final attempt, I pulled myself up and got help, but my financial aid ran out and I was unable to return to school and finish my degree, so I went back to my parents house and was absolutely miserable for the next 6 months. I felt like a failure, like I wasn't "perfect" like i was supposed to be. I felt suffocated every single day and like the only ones who wanted me there were my siblings. One day I tried a little experiment and sat in the living room with my mom for the entire day and she didn't say one single word to me, didnt even acknowledge my existence. Ever since the stuff with my nephews happened, I had doubled my efforts to protect my siblings and take the brunt of my mom's anger, so I pushed back a lot when they tried to get onto my siblings for ridiculous things. I ended up ghosting my friends for 3 months because I was so depressed, and it really scared them. It was then I knew i had to get out of that house or it would kill me, so I moved into my grandparents' house a town over.
Things at my grandparents' house started okay, and i was even able to confide in them what had been going on at my parents' house, which in the end turned out to be a big mistake. I got a job working overnight at a retail store and met the guy who is now my boyfriend of 3 years. Unfortunately, the longer i spent at my grandparents' house the more i saw where my mom got it from, and they ended up treating me just as bad as what was going on at my parents' house. The only difference was that my sister wasn't there so i was taking the brunt of all of it. When things started getting tough for them after my grandpa retired, instead of sitting down with me like an adult and asking if it would contribute financially, my grandpa cornered me in the car when he was driving me back from work and guilted money out of me with a sob story. And guilted me at the dinner table the second time when they needed more money. One time i walked in the house after work and before i had even taken my shoes off or put my purse down to get my wallet out, he blocked the door to my room with his hand out like a loan shark to give him the money. I payed for all my own expenses, took short showers and kept as many lights off as i could, and told them not to buy me anything, even food. And in the end, even though they guilted me for money, then more money, and promised they wouldnt kick me out, they sold the house out from under me when they knew i was still trying to save for an apartment with what little money i had left a month. I ended up having to live with my best friend and her husband or i wouldve been homeless. I still helped them move even when they f-ed me over. And even after all that, I still went to holidays and visited my parents from time to time.
The last time i saw my grandparents they ran into me and my best friend in a store. My grandpa saw me first (he and my grandma were in different parts of the store), and starting yelling at me for pretty much cutting them off since i hadn't been to see them for months, and then when he started realizing he looked like the bad guy tried to make the reason i stopped talking to them about politics (i live in a conservative area) as if that would justify it. When my friend and i were trying to grab one last thing before we left because i was humiliated and trying not to cry, my grandma cornered me at the deli counter, had me pinned between the counter and a cart so i couldn't leave, and started yelling at me too. I was so broken back then, but i tried to tell both of them i would talk to them but not in the store. They just wanted to scream so we left. I haven't spoken to them since and have no plans to.
Eventually i moved 2 hours away back to the city i had went to college in. During that time, my grandparents drove the 3 hours to try to find where i lived, and then called trying to get me to come downstairs. I was asleep for work at the time but it made me feel so uncomfortable that they would do that. And after living there a year and my bf and i commuting to visit each other every other week, it came to the point where if i wanted our relationship to continue i had to move back. This is not something he ever brought up to me, this was a decision I came to on my own. So two years ago I moved back to the area I grew up in. We live an hour away from my hometown and 30 minutes away from the town i met my boyfriend in. And although he has family in both areas that we visit, I haven't seen or really talked to my parents or siblings since i initially moved out of the area.
A year ago, after a year of silence from me and from my parents, I dropped a box off at my parents' house when they weren't home with souvenirs i got them on vacation when i first moved back, short letters to each of them about the gifts, and a long video letter on a flash drive explaining everything I felt because i knew i couldn't go on without being honest and i knew if i tried to have a conversation in person, they wouldn't listen to me. I told them i wanted to keep them in my life but i couldn't ignore everything that had happened and the ways they treated me and my younger siblings. I told them i had no interest in continuing a relationship with my grandparents and that anything they have told them probably wasnt true. I sent them scans of my diaries as "proof" that i wasn't lying because that's the kind of house i grew up in - if you couldnt prove it, it didnt happen. I laid myself completely bare so that i could heal, knowing the whole time they may never want to speak to me again. I gave them pictures of me and my boyfriend and my new phone number anyway. The only thing i didn't give them was my address because we live on his family's land and his family, knowing a bit about my family and also about my grandparents essentially stalking me, don't want anyone from my family nosing around on the property. I don't want that either so i agreed not to give it out. The people in my life who knew about the box and the letter turned video letter were supportive of the idea given all i had been through, and I thought dropping it off would be the end of things.
Since then, I have healed from everything that has happened. I'm still angry and sad and i feel like I'm grieving every day, but I'm not the spineless, scared girl i used to be. My boyfriend has helped me become a better person in so many ways. But i still miss my family, especially my dad. I feel like he didnt deserve what i've done for reasons i cant go into, because the reality is he depends a lot on what my mom tells him because he works, and he trusts her deeply. I feel like in some regards he depended too much on her word, although he isnt completely innocent. There's obviously a lot more to my story that what I have here or else I'd be writing an autobiography, but just know if this all sounds like it isn't a big deal, I have so many stories and so much more detail that isn't safe to give out here.
The reality is my parents and i pushed each other away until we all became strangers long before everything blew up. I felt like a stranger from the time i left for college. I was made to feel like if i wasn't at home, i was a second thought, and a lot of very serious issues happened while i was away that i didnt find out about until i came home. My last year of college i was physically starving and could only afford to eat one meal a day if that. When i had left for school at the beginning of that school year my mother made it clear i had to figure it all out myself because they had no money to give me, but then i came home for Christmas and everyone but me had all new electronics. I cried asking for money to buy my uniform to start my campus job but they bought all new computers and tablets. And that stung.
Last Christmas, my parents and siblings messaged me. It was the first time I had heard from them since before i dropped off the box. It was just a Merry Christmas, but it absolutely shocked me. And then they all messaged again on my birthday. Same thing, just little pleasantries, but it makes me feel like maybe that door isn't closed. However, I have absolutely no idea if we can move forward, if they want to, or even if its a good idea to try. I have struggled a lot since college about whether or not all of this and everything I wasn't able to share here is or is not a big deal. I've had people close to me listen to my whole story and call it emotional neglect and abuse, but I just don't know. I feel crazy most of the time, and I'm afraid I'm exaggerating or making it up for attention or something, which also doesn't make sense. I struggle a lot in my day to day. I am ruled by the emotions of those around me and i cower like a kicked puppy when people around me are upset, even if its not my fault. I get ashamed when i make a mistake or i'm not "perfect", and if my feelings are valid I have no idea if it would be a good idea to get back in touch. But i think about if/when my boyfriend and i get married, and how i have no family to sit on my side. It sometimes feels like it's my fault because i wasn't strong enough to just shut up and deal with it anymore. At this point I dont know what is the right answer, what's going to finally give me peace. For now, I just keep moving forward trying to build a better life with my boyfriend and hope all the pieces will fall into place later.

Recognizing and celebrating milestones during your quitting journey is essential for maintaining motivation and reinforcing your commitment to a smoke-free life. Here’s how to mark these important achievements.

Key Milestones and Ways to Celebrate

1. The First 24 Hours

• Celebration: Treat yourself to a favorite meal or activity. The first day smoke-free is a significant accomplishment!

2. One Week Smoke-Free

• Celebration: Share your achievement with friends or family. Consider a small gathering or a special outing to commemorate this milestone.

3. One Month Smoke-Free

• Celebration: Invest in something meaningful that enhances your new lifestyle, such as a new book, a wellness class, or a gadget.

4. Three Months Smoke-Free

• Celebration: By now, the savings from not purchasing cigarettes can be substantial. Use some of this money to fund a larger reward, like a weekend getaway.

5. Six Months and One Year Smoke-Free

• Celebration: These are major milestones that deserve significant recognition. Consider more substantial rewards such as a luxury item you’ve had your eye on or a vacation.

6. Annual Anniversaries

• Celebration: Each year smoke-free is a testament to your perseverance. Celebrate with an annual tradition that might include a personal retreat or a celebration with loved ones.

Role of Tabex in Reaching Milestones

Tabex can play a pivotal role in helping you reach these milestones by effectively reducing your craving for nicotine. As you celebrate these victories, remember the role that Tabex has played in your journey, supporting you in staying committed to your smoke-free goals.

Tips for Effective Milestone Celebrations

• Set Clear Milestones: Know in advance what your key milestones are and plan how you'll celebrate them.
• Involve Your Support Network: Share your successes with your support network. Their encouragement can boost your morale and strengthen your resolve.
• Reflect on Your Progress: Each milestone is a good opportunity to reflect on the progress you’ve made and to reaffirm your commitment to remaining smoke-free.

Celebrating milestones is not just about rewarding yourself, but also about reinforcing the healthy choice you’ve made to quit smoking. With each celebration, you reinforce your new identity as a non-smoker and inspire continued commitment to your smoke-free journey.

I grew up in a small rural ski town where I was one of the poorest kids in my elementary school. My mom had just moved my brother and me away from my dad and we were struggling, we lived in motels for a bit and crashed at some of her friends' houses before moving into a cheap basement suit with two bedrooms, my brother got his own while I shared a room with my mom. There was only one twin-sized bed so she would usually sleep on our armchair in the living room so I could have the bed. She worked two jobs at a grocery and convenience store while putting herself through night school in the town over. We didn't have much money for food so my school lunches were always one item, usually some form of squash or a Ziploc of lentils. Being in a mountain town in Canada you can imagine how cold it was in the winter; we didn't have a car so my brother and I had to walk to school in freezing temperatures, by the time we got there I was in tears with a red nose and my hair frozen solid. It took a while for things to get better but they did when my mom got her nursing license and picked up a stable job, eventually, we moved up to middle class and the moment I was old enough to work I wouldn't stop. I saved almost everything I made from the age of thirteen. My brother joined the military and I focused on school and sports so I could get into college which I'm glad to say I successfully did. I moved to the city for school and everything was so different, all of the friends I made came from ridiculously rich families and went out almost every night since they had the money to spend on drinks and clubs. I'm in engineering while the majority of my friends are in some form of the arts, we got along because I'm a bookworm. I was speaking with one of them who I'll call Shannon, she's in screenwriting and cinematography in the hopes of becoming a director. She mentioned to me that she wants to make her student film centred around poverty and the working class to shine a light on it. During this discussion, The Florida Project (a great movie) was brought up, I told her that I related heavily to that movie and she kind of huffed a laugh and then said "What? Did you live in a motel or something?" To which I answered "Yes," With a straight face. I could tell that Shannon felt bad since she clearly didn't know how I was brought up since it isn't something I tend to slip into casual conversation. Shannon asked more questions about my childhood and what it was like to live in poverty, we left the topic alone after that day but two weeks later she came to me with her screenplay and asked me to read it. I was appalled to say the very least. She had taken my very personal stories and turned them into an extra shitty episode of Euphoria. Everything I had told her had been put into her script but not as I told them, the main character went through these things and was unphased by everything that happened, disappointed in her mother for not doing enough and fighting with her evil drug addict brother. I wanted to cry, specifically at the depiction she had turned my family into, my hard-working and loving mother was written off to just be a slacker when in reality she was doing absolutely everything she could to give both me and my brother a good life and then my straight edge military brother was turned into the scum of the earth. The depiction of my poverty she wrote had me sick to my stomach, the main character was a sex addict, the mother was an alcoholic, and the brother had a drug addiction as well as abused the main character. I told her that not every person living in poverty was poor because of an addiction or crutch and sometimes it was just an unfortunate circumstance, in our case, it was fleeing from my abusive dad and trying to get on our feet. It also irked me how she had written it to be completely tragic and sad but I was a child for most of it and didn't realize how bad it was; when the power would go out it would be a fun game of lights out for me and my brother, we didn't understand why my mom was so stressed out when we had to stay in hotels, all we knew was that we got to share a bunk bed and go swimming in the indoor pool. I wanted her to understand that we were still regular people when we were impoverished, we were just that, regular people who didn't have much. Shannon seemed embarrassed that I was so upset about what she wrote, it took me fifteen minutes to read the entire thing and we sat in complete silence as I did so, when I reached the last page I was crying. At first, she thought I was crying because I was so moved by her glamourization of addiction and poverty before I told her that I hated it. That was when Shannon began to cry. I had shut down her screenplay as soon as I finished it and I asked why she was crying. She moved on to say "It's loosely based on what you told me, it isn't meant to be you and your family." I wanted to laugh when she said this, even the name of the main character rhymed with mine, she kept the tragic events and cut out the good memories as well as the good nature of my mom and brother, I was livid. I want to tell you about one scene that made me want to strangle her: The family's power went out on the main character's birthday so they lit tea candles to see in the dark, the mother lit a cigarette with one of the candles before calling her daughter a slut and putting it out in her birthday cake- what happened in real life was the power had gone out on my birthday, my mom worked all day and came home with a discounted pride cake since my birthday is in June. My brother and I had lit the tea candles long before my mom came home, she smeared the 'Happy Pride!' text on the cake replaced 'pride' with 'birthday' using Nesquik then used the tea candles to light the candles for my cake. This was the first time I had ever gotten a birthday cake, I was eleven and it's one of my happiest memories to date. I'm realizing this is too long so I'll finish it off, she's proceeding with the student film despite me asking her not to and offering different plots to follow instead. Shannon had blocked my number and I haven't heard from her in a week aside from awkwardly seeing her around campus to which she looks the other direction and ignores me.

I am so sorry for the length, thank you so much if you read this.
Last time I gave this info:
I'm female, 21, 5'7" and weight around 255. If you scroll through my post history you'll see last year I was dealing with extreme period irregularity. I was never diagnosed with anything like PCOS but did go on a birth control pill which helped to regulate my cycle. I have been on that since November, I have also been on a Wellbutrin/Sertraline combo since August. That and therapy really has my anxiety and depression at wya more manageable levels. The problems I'm about to talk about started in January.
I have started having more digestive type issues since January. I've had almost constant acid reflux for over a year. I tried one of those two week courses of medicine you can find on the shelf to help but it didn't at all. I turned 21 in June, I've tried maybe 6 drinks in that time frame (it's March now) and I hate the taste and it makes me feel yuck and nauseous even after just 1 so I don't drink.
In the past month I have been having times where I wake up 5-6 hours after eating with intense mid to upper stomach and back pain it was like a band of pain that wrapped around my body. It's like a 8/10 on the pain scale. I thought it was heartburn or indigestion so I would try a Pepto, warm shower, nothing would help. I would be up for hours in tears. Before it somewhat subside and I would feel a little better. The last one happened on 3/12 into 3/13. I thought this could be due to large meals, or timing of dinner. I haven't been able to see a pattern though yet.
I feel nauseous way more than I ever used to, after eating or while in the car. Also in the past couple of weeks my bathroom activities have been a lot more different. It used to be, I would have a regular poop once a day, of the firm but not too firm consistency you would expect and normal color unless I ate like something green or blue. Now, I feel like every time I sit on the toilet now (3-5 times a day at least) I poop. It's not completely runny but it's not firm in the slightest. It's also had the strangest, weirdest odor. I have no idea what to explain it like but it's different and worse than normal. It's also become a lot darker. I don't know if it's really a black, I can't really tell but it's definitely a super dark brown at the least and I don't know if it's tarry, it's definitely kind of shiny, I really don't know how to explain it. I have just felt off lately. I haven't eaten anything super fiber containing, the last time I had Pepto was on the 10th. Those were some things I felt important to include as I know pepto could cause black stool.
Another thing, possibly important to know is just food aversion. Lately, food just doesn't taste the same, things don't sound good, and I'm not getting hunger cues like I used to. I often go most of the day without ever feeling hungry, this usually results in me eating 1 meal for dinner and maybe a snack earlier in the day? And my stomach just randomly mildly aches.
I also realized it's probably important to mention the exhaustion. Since January it has been so bad. I know it's normal to be tired expecially as a busy college student but I've missed multiple classes because I overslept or was too tired. And I've never done that before. I'm usually asleep between 10-11pm on the weekdays and around 12am on the weekends. On weekdays I wake up between 7 and 8am and weekends probably 8 and 9am. It's hard to not use electronics before sleep especially with homework and such. But it's been so bad. I just get so exhausted I don't know how to explain it. But I just feel heavy and I can't get out of bed because I'm so tired.I feel like it all probably relates to my weight. It's something I've struggled with and have tried to work on it. I haven't changed my diet in terms of types of food since I was at 200lbs in high school and I've focused on portions and more activity. I guess it could be stress too? But I don't feel like I've been stressed any differently lately?
Here is where I’m at currently: I went to my pcp who check my blood counts, lipase, and did a CMP. A year ago I had elevated ALT/AST levels (diagnosed with fatty liver) and those were back down to well within normal range. Nothing came out of these tests everything was normal. They also checked for H. Pylori and that was negative. So to rule out gallbladder I had a right upper quadrant ultrasound today. I did the fasting for 8 hours before and everything. The ultrasound results were just fatty liver. There was no evidence of gallstones or gallbladder thickening.
The final thing to add before I explain what was currently going on is I was put on 40 mg of pantoprazole to take once in the morning at least 30-60 minutes before first meal. This was because I tried Prilosec in August and that didn’t help, nothing has helped. I’ve been on it for a week and honestly I thought I noticed a difference, definitely a less constant feeling of acid reflux. Something that has been constant for around a year.
After my ultrasound I came home around 5:30pm and had a small amount of fish and fries. I did not eat to full, took time to eat, etc. went about my day. Around 8:30pm I felt a bit hungry so I had some chips and cheese, it wasn’t much but i felt satisfied and good. Like 20 minutes after my stomach started to hurt like it had been, I was confused because I felt confident the cause was in part behind laying down only a few hours after eating but I hadn’t laid down. It’s almost 3am and I am hurting bad. It definitely feels a bit like heartburn but it’s also just a gripping twisting pain right at my ribs from belly button to breast and around my back. I’m just lost and nervous and not sure what next steps will be.

After sixty-seven sessions of Curse of Strahd (read all about it here), it was time for a change. So into the wild we went...
My group is nearing the end of Hither, and along the way I've written summaries of each session ("What Just Happened?"), along with interesting/funny quotes from PCs/NPCs ("Certain Things Were Said"), and a list of new characters introduced that session ("Dramatis Personae").
My intention is to write the summaries for each of the five parts of the campaign in a different format. For the Witchlight Carnival, each summary was presented in verse (my own, no machine learning shortcuts!), using the the metre and rhyming structure of various Lewis Carrol poems.
I'd like to share my summaries/poems with you all here, for posterity, and in the hope you'll find them entertaining.
For reference, the players are:

• Holafina (a harengon paladin who has lost three inches of height)
• Skerrek (a kobold druid who has lost the ability to lie)
• Arix (an owlin monk who has lost all sense of direction and is always hungry)
• Jexim (a brash fairy who has lost his diary)
• Sylenos (a beatnik, slacker satyr employed by the Carnival)

NOTE: Lewis Carroll was known to hide secret messages in his poems. I've done the same, revealing the campaign's big twist in one of the poems below. None of my players have picked up on it.

Part I: Welcome to the Witchlight

What Just Happened? (in the style of Jabberwocky)
’Twas twilight when the carnival Did open wide two golden gates, And those with tickets did arrive, Seeking things they had misplaced.
One harengon of curious size, A kobold with a slithy gait, An owlet who possessed two eyes As wide as Annam’s dinner plates.
Yet are we three or are we four? Let’s add vibrations rarefied: A Witchlight hand here to ensure That every guest is Satyrs-fied!
Enter now and taste the sounds, Feel these colours, smell those sights! Kaleidoscopic fun abounds This synaesthesiac’s delight!
Yet where’s the drama? Where’s the tension? Certainly we’ve had a switch (At least in here there is no mention Of that cad von Zarovich).
Instead let’s race a giant snail, Eat candied mushrooms by the pound, Or listen to a gnome assail The tightness of your mother’s gown.
Yet hark! A misadventure glum! Those not heroes please give berth! The best laid plans of love undone By Tasha’s wild unruly mirth
These mirrored halls! This desperate task, To find a luckless paramour A sweet-toothed lass with porcine mask That you could swear you’ve seen before…
’Twas twilight when the carnival Did open wide two golden gates And those with tickets did arrive, Now guided by the wiles of fate.
Dramatis Personae
Arix Specklefoot, a sweet-toothed owlin Holafina, a curiously short harengon Skerrek Tirael, a slithy kobold Sylenos, a cosmic satyr Nicholas Midnight, elderly goblin ticketmaster at the Witchlight Carnival Candlefoot, a mime and not by choice Rubin Sugarwood, a lovesick halfling Ween Sundapple, his laugh-sick paramour Glorange Turple, a poetry gnome
Certain Things Were Said
“I am worried about your ability to sense vibrations that I cannot.” - Skerrek Tirael
“Tymore, goddess of good fortune! Look well upon Shellymoo this day!” - Holafina
“Hate to say it, man, but that gnome really insulted your mother.” - Sylenos
“Snacks?” - Arix Specklefoot

Part II: Lost and Found

What Just Happened? (In the style of The Walrus and the Carpenter )
"The time has come," the Satyr said, "To talk of many things: Of poems—and props—and Jeremy Plum— Of crowns and pixie kings— And why things here keep getting lost— And what this pig-girl means."
"But wait a bit," the Owlin cried, "Before our minds do meet, For some of us are pretty spooked, And I would like a treat!" "No hurry!" said the Satyr, And kicked up cloven feet.
The Owlin and the Kobold Were walking close at hand, They smiled like anything to see The gates of Pixie Land. "If we could only stay a while,” They said, "it would be grand!"
The Satyr sighed so sulkily, Because he thought that Plum Had got no business to be there When all was said and done. (“It's rude of him," the Kobold said, "To try and spoil our fun!")
"Oi, Satyr," said the pixie king, "You've had a pleasant run! Should you be getting back to work?” But answer came there none And this was scarcely odd, because He had real beef with Plum.
Now Arix made a hamster friend Who offered up some clues. The others tried the riding-pug: A pleasant thing to do! (“The pug is fine," the Rabbit said, "But he’s no Shellymoo.”)
"How nice of you to come!” said Plum, "You all are oh-so kind!" Puddlemud said nothing as His teeth began to grind. The Owlin and the Kobold cheered: “That was our FAVORITE ride!”
“A wooden crown," fair Jexim said, Is what we need to come Our way along with golden paint For some un-princely sum.” The others stared, confused, and said: “Now where did YOU come from?”
‘Twas then the party dared approach The famous Mystery Mine Where psychedelic spectacles Broke the Satyr’s mind. (“I really wish,” Zephixo sighed, “You wouldn’t ride while high”).
Next Dirla pulled all kind of things Out of his wagon/portal: Bottles, bunnies, candlesticks, A shining blade of vorpal (Incidentally, there’s a word That kind of rhymes with purple).
“If you put your mind to it And searched for long enough, Do you suppose," the party said, "That you could find our stuff?" "I doubt it," said dear Dirlagraun, And gave a bitter huff.
Then he gave the Harengon The greatest gift by far: A copy of “Gnome On The Run” And bid them au revoir (Morgie would have laughed at that While struggling with slash “R”).
“I do believe,” the Satyr said, “That something is not right, And think we ought to pay a call To Messers Witch and Light.” “I think we ought,” the Owlin said “To first stop for a bite.”
But in their way old Thaco stood, A clown grown grim and surly: “Rabbit! Owlin! Pixie! Skink! You aren’t allowed to be-“ The Fairy interrupted him: “Wait, WHAT did you call me?”
Poor Thaco cried: “Things move too fast! And have since my debut In R-1: To the Aid of Falx From Nineteen Eighty Two! And if you’d seen what I have seen Then you’d smoke bubbles, too!”
Finally he stepped aside, At last the way was clear. The Satyr ambled stealthily With open eyes and ears And pressed them to a wagon large To see what he could hear.
"The time has come," Witch and Light said, "To talk of things galore Of prizes—plans—and kenku pests— and ever so much more— But first we’d better ask inside Those spying at our door!”
Dramatis Personae
Jexim, a puzzled, puzzling fairy Jeremy Plum, operator of the Pixie Kingdom and bestower of silly names Biscuit, a talkative hamster Pinecone, a riding-pug Zephixo, dwarven inventor and mastermind behind the Mystery Mine Ernest Wilde, middle-aged calliope master currently inhabiting the body of his pet monkey Marigold, his button-collecting goblin assistant Dirlagraun, a kindly but inefficient displacer beast, minder of lost children and property Thaco, a bubble-smoking clown who is long past his prime
Certain Things Were Said
"Worried I was, with talk of missing supper." - Arix Specklefoot
"Could you not just purchase a new pair?" - Skerrek Tirael "Not like this, man." - Sylenos
"If you'd see the things I've seen, you'd smoke a bubble pipe, too." - Thaco
"Is this it?" - Dirlagraun "NO." - Everyone

Part III: On the Trail of the Kenku

What Just Happened? (In the style of The Hunting of the Snark)
"Where the heck is our stuff? We just want to know This Harengon ain't getting bigger, Arix has no idea of where to go And lies send poor Skerrek a-quiver!"
"Would you get back to work?" Mister Light cried, Twirling his cane with a smile, "Otherwise find where this kenku pest hides; She's cramping this carnival's style!"
"Well, that was a bust," said our heroes, conferring, "Anyone got a suggestion? If we need to pull strings to get back our things Then there are some folk we should question."
"Time's an illusion, free will a delusion!" Sylenos' mentor decreed, "Get a contusion battling occlusions, Or relax and have some of this…wait, what was I saying?"
Sylenos proclaimed: "A genius flawed!" "A man/dragon ahead of his time." Skerrek looked at his claws; Holafina at paws, And the other two just rolled their eyes
"A centuar I'm not! I just made a bad trade The "Cloppinton's" just serendipitous, Now lend me your aid and you'll maybe persuade These horsies to drop some significance."
Then they took to the skies on a dragonfly ride (Holafina and Skerrek abreast), When you're this high there's just nowhere to hide (And to which Sylenos attests)
Now Skerrek honed on a runaway gnome Who was fleeing the carnage with glee, Holafina struck home and that's it for this poem For the gnome was the kenku, you see.
Dramatis Personae
Mister Witch, a matter-of-fact elf, devoid of pretense Mister Light, a flamboyant elf, luminous and coy Burly, a philosophical, pumpkin-helmeted bugbear Mandragon, a seeker of truth (and not much else) Diana Cloppington, a centaur who is apparently not, operator of the Carousel Northwind, a very forthcoming treant, operator of the Dragonfly Rides
Certain Things Were Said
"There’s something weird going on. For some reason everyone thinks I don’t do anything around the carnival." - Sylenos
"It's true, Miss Cloppinton! We've ALL lost things." - Arix Specklefoot
"Wait, when did we have biscuits?" - Jexim

Part IV: Through the Looking Glass

What Just Happened? (In the style of A Boat Beneath a Sunny Sky)
Now hear the Kenku’s strange reply (As Arix struggles to apply Triage to these pixie guys)
Asking questions, getting nought Set her on a different course: High sabotage without remorse!
And what has got her so irate Is what’s she trying to intimate: Zybilna has been quiet of late!
Ignore the rest, and let’s take flight To confront dear Witch and Light (Surprisingly, they’re quite contrite)
To keep the carnival in motion A tapestry of lies was woven: A deal with the Hourglass Coven!
Who take from those who can’t afford Entrance through the Witchlight’s doors Miscellanea adored
So THAT’s who taken all your junk! Time to find these Hourglass punks! Which way to this Feywild dump?
But first we’ll make a brief aside So Candlefoot can vocalise His mermaid love (now legalised)
Now the pair can tie the knot And while we’re passing time why not Ride the fabled Bubble Pot?
Yet ere you all are translocated (Everybody’s breath now bated) Arix must be coronated!
The time of truth has come at last Hesitation as you pass Though the hallowed looking glass
Are you afraid to lose your minds? What lies ahead? What lies behind? What do you expect to find?
Will Skerrek ever fabricate? Or Holafina emulate A bunny’s median height and weight?
Shall Jexim’s memoirs find acclaim? Can Monty locate Bobbitt Fane? (…hang on, that’s a different game)
Does Arix ever find the door? And will Sylennos flee the cause To study unemployment law?
Dramatis Personae
Kettlesteam, a mischievous patron of Zybilna Paleesha, a mellifluous mermaid, now reunited with Candlefoot
Certain Things Were Said
“Sylenos, perhaps in eight years you can come back and find your lost employment.” - Skerrek
“Ask me where the exit is.” - Arix Specklefoot “Where is the exit?” - Mister Light “I don’t know.” - Arix

Hey y'all! I know there are mutiple posts on this already, so if you find this too repetitive, I apologize and hope you will scroll by.
I was reading this CBC article and they seem to have done a pretty decent job explaining what is going on, so help me understand why is there so much anxiety over these tests. I'll put what I took from this article in points, if I'm wrong, please do correct me.

1. Police are stopping drivers based on what they think is suspicious behaviour or if they smell weed on you or in the car.
   
2. They are doing roadside screening tests and the devices are set at a limit of 25 ng/ml. So if you are over that threshold, you fail the test. It's a pass or fail test.
   
3. If you fail the swab test, it means fines, license suspension, car impounded, re-take alcohol course.
   
4. If an officer asks for a blood test (which they apparently very rarely do because it's a whole different and time consuming process), then they are tested on the federal limit of 2-5ng/ml in an individual's bloodstream.
   
5. The roadside tests are in place to check recency of consumption, not impairment. So, if you are above the 25ng/ml limit, they say you have recently consumed THC.
   

Separate point that I heard from friends: THC in our saliva spikes after recent use but goes below the 25ng/ml limit after a day or few hours depending on level of consumption. So you can essentially pass the swab tests but not the blood tests.
I know many people use it for medical purposes, and many just for recreation. A lot of them may not be high after 6-12 hours, but some still may be. So are we challenging this generalized testing method and if so, what are our alternatives?
Genuinely curious here about these:

• Is 25ngl/ml of THC in saliva indicative of a high impairment level? Or is that just a base level from one puff?
• Is 25ng/ml of THC in saliva measured at the same level as 2-5ng/ml in blood? What I mean to say is, is it actually 5 times higher or they are just different and have no co-relation?
• If they are same, aren't we in a better position because we can trip a roadside test (say, at 20ng/ml) but if a blood sample is taken (say, due to an accident), we fail that and are at risk of a criminal charge?

Now, if the devices are faulty or if there is no fair play, then yeah, that's a whole other matter.

For a secure and fun-filled experience, it is important to maintain proper hygiene for your anal toys. Whether you are an amateur or an expert, understanding the best cleaning techniques and safety measures can help in the prevention of infections and help in maximizing the lifespan of your toys. This is an all-inclusive article on keeping your anal toys clean and sanitary.
Effective Cleaning Methods：
Toilets should be cleaned thoroughly before and after using them to ensure cleanliness of anal toys. Some effective methods include:
1. Warm Water with Mild Soap
Using warm water with mild soap is one of the easiest ways to clean your anal toys. These steps should be followed:
Remove any visible debris from the toy by rinsing it under warm water.
Apply little mild soap on it, then gently scrubbing all surfaces including crevices.
Ensure that no soap residues are left by flushing it entirely with warm water.
Wipe dry using a clean towel or allow it air-dry completely before storing it.
2. Special toy cleaning agents are available to clean without causing harm to the material. Most of these cleaners are antibacterial and can provide an extra protective layer. To use:
Spray directly on toy or onto a clean cloth.
Wipe across the entire length of the toy, ensuring that all surfaces have been wiped.
Rinse if necessary according to instructions given by the cleaner.
Fully dry the toy before storage starts.
3. Water at Boiling Point
For silicone, stainless steel, and glass toys boiling water can be used for sanitizing purposes. Here’s how:
Bring some water in a pot to boil.
Plunge the toy into boiling water for about 3-5 minutes.
Take out carefully and let it cool before touching it again.
Dry up as much as possible before storing it away completely.
Use Right Lubricants
Water based lubes are generally safe for all kinds of toys available on the market today.
Silicone-based lubricants should not be used with silicone-based sex toys since this may cause degradation in them as well as damage.
Enema Bulbs and Douching
In addition, cleaning your ass can improve hygiene. Let’s take a look at how to do this safely:
Set the temperature of the water at a degree lower than body temperature (34-37°C or 93-100°F).
Do not use strong pressure that may cause harm to your intestines.
Place yourself in an easy position for douching like standing, squatting or sitting.
Gently push the nozzle into your rectum and let the water run in for about 5 to 10 seconds.
Avoid retaining it for more than thirty seconds before letting it go.
Repeat until there is no stool smell and the water runs clear.
Avoid Some Enemas
Fleet Enemas: These are often used for constipation but should not be used as a regular cleaning agent because saline solutions may irritate you.
Medical enemas: they could contain special salts that hurt intestines if used regularly.
Old school enema bags: They are time consuming hence inappropriate when one wants to do regular cleaning.
Storage and Maintenance
Keep your toys in a good place where they are clean and free from moisture preferably by placing them individually in storage bags so as to avoid any contamination between them.
Regularly check for signs of wear on your toys. Get rid of any toy with worn out surfaces or signs of material breakdown.
Conclusion
Proper hygiene for anal toys is essential for a safe and enjoyable experience. By following these cleaning methods and safety tips, you can ensure that your toys remain clean and hygienic, reducing the risk of infections and prolonging their lifespan. Remember to always use appropriate lubricants and avoid harmful enema practices. Stay safe and enjoy your playtime with confidence!

The phrase "Burger and Grape Snow Cone" might seem like an unusual combination of food items at first glance, but in the world of linguistic creativity and cultural references, it takes on a whole new dimension. This seemingly random pairing is more than just a quirky food combination; it holds deeper connotations in various contexts, often serving as a symbol of juxtaposition, nostalgia, and cultural commentary. Let's delve into the origins, meanings, and cultural significance of "Burger and Grape Snow Cone."

Origins and Popularity

The exact origin of the phrase "Burger and Grape Snow Cone" is somewhat nebulous, but it has surfaced in various forms of media and popular culture over the years. It's the kind of phrase that might be used to evoke a sense of whimsy or to illustrate an unexpected pairing. The combination of a savory, hearty burger with a sweet, icy grape snow cone can be seen as a metaphor for contrasting experiences or tastes coming together.

Symbolism and Interpretation

1. Contrast and Juxtaposition:
   • The most apparent interpretation of "Burger and Grape Snow Cone" is the contrast between the two items. A burger represents something substantial, filling, and savory, while a grape snow cone is light, sweet, and refreshing. This contrast can be applied to various life situations where two very different elements coexist, highlighting the beauty or complexity of their interaction.
2. Nostalgia and Americana:
   • Burgers and snow cones are iconic elements of American food culture, often associated with childhood, summer fairs, and simple pleasures. Together, they evoke a sense of nostalgia, transporting people back to carefree days spent enjoying these treats in casual, communal settings.
3. Cultural Commentary:
   • The phrase can also be used to comment on the eclectic nature of modern culture, where diverse elements come together in unexpected ways. It reflects how contemporary society blends different tastes, preferences, and traditions, creating a melting pot of experiences.

In Media and Pop Culture

The phrase "Burger and Grape Snow Cone" has appeared in various forms in media, from songs and TV shows to internet memes and social media posts. Each usage adds a layer of meaning or context, contributing to the phrase's evolving significance. For instance, in a song, it might represent a whimsical or surreal experience, while in a social media post, it could be used humorously to describe an unusual combination of events or ideas.

Linguistic Playfulness

Part of the appeal of "Burger and Grape Snow Cone" lies in its linguistic playfulness. It's a phrase that captures attention and sparks curiosity, encouraging people to think about why these two items were paired together and what deeper meaning might be inferred. This playfulness is a hallmark of creative language use, demonstrating how words and phrases can be combined in novel ways to convey unique ideas and emotions.

Conclusion

The phrase "Burger and Grape Snow Cone" is a fascinating example of how language and culture interact to create new meanings and associations. Whether viewed as a symbol of contrast, a nostalgic nod to American food culture, or a playful linguistic creation, it captures the imagination and invites deeper reflection. In a world where diverse elements constantly intersect, "Burger and Grape Snow Cone" serves as a reminder of the richness and complexity of our shared cultural landscape. So next time you hear this quirky phrase, take a moment to appreciate the layers of meaning and the creativity it embodies.

The ~BRICS e-commerce logistics market~ is projected to have a considerable CAGR of 13.7% during the forecast period. BRICS E-Commerce Logistics Market research report reveals important insights into market scenario to enable key players in taking calculated decision making. Basically, one of the major purposes of market research reports is to maximize the business growth opportunities. It also helps key players to turn business into a successful business by increasing the profit level. The overall business goal can be accomplished through this BRICS E-Commerce Logistics Market study report as it consists of all the current happenings and major innovations of the marketplace. Depending on the overall business objective, it is important to reduce business risks to generate larger revenues in the business. Several regions are captured in this Market report which includes North America, Europe, Middle East, Africa, Latin America and Asia Pacific.
Get Free Sample link @ https://www.omrglobal.com/request-sample/brics-e-commerce-logistics-market
BRICS e-commerce logistics market is segmented based on products, service, and location. Based on products, the BRICS e-commerce logistics market is segmented into personal care, home furnishing, apparel, electronics, automotive, and others. Among these, electronics products are estimated to have a significant market share amongst all products segment due to the increasing use of electronic devices such as smartphone and other devices. Similarly, based on services, the market is categorized into transport services, warehouse services, and others. Whereas, based on location, the BRICS e-commerce market is divided into urban, semi-urban, and rural.
full report of BRICS E-Commerce Logistics Market available @ https://www.omrglobal.com/industry-reports/brics-e-commerce-logistics-market
· Market Coverage
· Market number available for – 2024-2031
· Base year- 2024
· Forecast period- 2024-2031
· Segment Covered- By Source, By Product Type, By Applications
· Competitive Landscape- Archer Daniels Midland Co., Ingredion Inc., Kerry Group Plc, Cargill
· Inc., and others
BRICS E-Commerce Logistics Market Report Segment
By Products

• Baby Products
• Personal Care Products
• Books
• Home Furnishing Products
• Apparel Products
• Electronics Products
• Automotive Products
• Others

By Services

• Transportation Services
• Warehouse Services
• Others

By Location

• Urban
• Semi-Urban
• Rural

The Report Covers

• Annualized market revenues ($ million) for each market segment.
• Country-wise analysis of major geographical regions.
• Key companies operating in the BRICS e-commerce logistics market. Based on the availability of data, information related to pipeline products, and relevant news is also available in the report.
• Analysis of business strategies by identifying the key market segments positioned for strong growth in the future.
• Analysis of market entry and market expansion strategies.
• Competitive strategies by identifying ‘who-stands-where’ in the market.

For More Customized Data, Request for Report Customization @ https://www.omrglobal.com/report-customization/brics-e-commerce-logistics-market
About Orion Market Research Orion Market Research (OMR) is a market research and consulting company known for its crisp and concise reports. The company is equipped with an experienced team of analysts and consultants. OMR offers quality syndicated research reports, customized research reports, consulting and other research-based services. The company also offer Digital Marketing services through its subsidiary OMR Digital and Software development and Consulting Services through another subsidiary Encanto Technologies.
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Hey everyone! So I have always lived in high rise buildings with fantastic management, amenities, and maintenance. But I had a baby last year and decided it was time to move to a quieter and safer location. The apartment itself is very nice and has everything we need as a family, but it keeps having somewhat minor issues. I’m genuinely not sure if these issues are to be expected and I’m just spoiled, or are these real problems I need to address?
I’m not sure if this matters, but this is a middle class, mildly upscale, complex with about 1500 townhouses and apartments split in smaller buildings, all gated and homey feeling. I will just go ahead and list the issues I’ve had since May 1st.

1. Power went out for about 20 mins. I called emergency maintenance and left a voicemail per my welcome packet instructions, no response or follow up on their end but power did come back on.
   
2. May 4th I submitted a maintenance request because the dryer isn’t working, they came a day later and determined the knob was broken. They ordered parts, haven’t heard from them since. I have been using a power drill to turn the knob and use my dryer as that’s the only way.
   
3. The gas fireplace smokes and sets off the smoke alarms. They checked it out and used a C02 detector and said it’s not leaking. When I asked why it smokes and sets off alarms the maintenance man didn’t have an answer or offer to look at it more.
   
4. The hot water is “private”(?), as in the tank is in my unit and only for my use idk I’m not well versed in that stuff, but it can’t even fill a bath tub with hot water after no hot water being used for hours. This home has two extra large bathtubs and I have a baby so this one does really matter to me. I’ve been going olden days with pots of boiling water to heat it up for my son.
   
5. Breakers short out almost everyday. Not a huge inconvenience but it can be frustrating when I have the oven going and I don’t even realize the kitchen just turned off.
   
6. Phone service in my home is unreasonably bad, but perfectly fine anywhere else in the community. I can’t have phone calls or use data at all in my home.
   
7. Secondary bathtub (my bathtub since the master bath is in the room my son sleeps in) always spews out dark black specks when I initially run it. After it drains the remaining specks leave black smears on the tub, they come off with magic eraser.
   

Am I overreacting and this is all just part of living in more of a townhouse situation? Is this complete bs and I should make a big deal out of it?

My name was slandered SO badly by the quinte.ca news that it is literally criminal and VERY VERY messed up.
According to this article I am a Sex Predator and was trying to lure a 13 year old for sex using the internet.(!!!!!)
This is a long story so I’m going to do my best at condensing it so people actually read it.
This is what happened: With a fair amount of spare time on my hands I decided to do something that would create a positive, long lasting impact. I knew there had to be some real sex predators in a city this size so I decided to see if any ADULTS online were interested and fully follow through with preying on a minor. Less than a few minutes after creating a profile I was contacted by a Belleville Resident who indicated DIRECTLY to me that he was “ok” with the decoys age.

I told him my age was TWELVE. 

Within the first 5 minutes of the conversation. So for the next five days he was essentially grooming who he believed was 12 year old and attempting to meet him that upcoming weekend. At no time did I initiate or direct the conversation to move in the dirty direction. I wanted to not only provide as much solid evidence as possible for the police, but I was thinking forward to do the same for the future prosecution when this case ultimately reached the Court….( at least In my mind, this is what I was doing it for! )
Speaking to him about 45 minutes each day I was shocked at how this was actually happening. Shocked at how quickly, unaffected and confident he was to be luring a 12 year old to his apartment.
Most disturbing was the bits of information that was confessed to me. How he “had to be really careful” because he is already a registered sex offender due to being caught with another minor years ago, and how he “had multiple other people your age” in the past which he had never been caught for.
So obviously by the time I was aware of that I was Deadset at not only catching and exposing this creep but see to it that he gets his rightful spot back in a prison cell.

Make no mistake I took screenshots of EVERY message/text/conversations/photos. 

( I had taken photos of myself and used an age altering app which was procured freely from Apple. ) Upon his request I sent multiple Altered selfies over those five days in the various poses he was asking for. Obviously this was done to prove that the decoy was in fact “real”. Bam. That’s it. It was Friday and this registered sex offender “PDF File” was in FULL BELIEF and confident that a Minor was on the way to his apartment to “teach him” how to have sex.
I went just outside the meeting area a bit early and sat down with my Sony 500 video camera around my neck and was prepared to begin the video, capturing him as he went directly to the prearranged location. He was going with the quickness and attempting to hold back the huge shit eating grin on his face. Disgusting. Vile. True evil.
So I walked up to him while recording and made a call from my cellphone to his which I used to instantly tell him off the bat: “YOU’RE FKD!” Also by doing this at that moment I was putting him in a position (ON CAMERA mind you) which he had zero opportunity to deny anything.

Over the next 20-30 minutes He confessed to everything that was said during the conversations. Instead of me questioning him, initially I had told him to tell me exactly why he was there, and for him to tell me (the camera) everything that was in those terrible and unbelievable messages. 

I grilled him like a ribeye.
After having gathered what I believed to be enough evidence and having him vocally express ( One more and last time) directly to the camera why he was there at that precise moment and what it was he had expected to go down that day in his apartment, I decided to end recording, and leave.
With my adrenaline pumping, I left. Forgetting to do what could’ve been the most important thing, not for exposing him or the Court, but for ME. . . Call the cops. I called them about 10 minutes into the walk back to my home. I told the Officer everything that had just happened. Including the prior five days leading up to this event. I was praised for doing what I had done by this Officer but was informed that the “Detective” responsible for this “crime category” was already off duty and wouldn’t be returning until Monday.
On Monday I received a phone call from that Officer and TRIED to explain everything. It was like I was speaking another language to him. He REPEATEDLY tried to change what I was telling him. For example; I explained how I was the decoy and that there did NOT EXIST AN ACTUAL MINOR involved here, and then he would say: “so you and this sex offender ‘hooked up’ and tried to get a ‘13’ year old over to HIS house” !!!!! It was if he was Trolling. He simply could not, or did not WANT TO understand what happened. “It’s like a STING OPERATION” I finally said to him. I told him this guys name and where he lived. I even knew his birthdate from the convos with the Decoy. So this “detective” in charge of investigating a very serious category of crime in this city KNEW that this predator is a Registered Sex Offender. He KNEW that I was in possession of a litany of irrefutable evidence. Yet was totally incompetent and put me down as Suspect #1 from the start. For not a single reason. He denied my requests to come down and SHOW HIM THE FRICKIN’ EVIDENCE. He did not even want to see the video confession!!! Nothing happened. He said it was now an “open case” and I had a case number. Deflated. Flabbergasted. I was [again] in shock. After weeks of waiting, I ended up putting the entire video of sicko confessing and me grilling him on YouTube. My genuine motive from the start was to make a positive impact on the community. To potentially stop a child from being victimized by a predator. I felt let down the police response. Little did I know what was to come SIX months later. The cops raided the house I was living in.
I was immediately handcuffed and told that I was arrested for “LURING A MINOR” !!!! I was literally paralyzed. With at LEAST HALF A DOZEN POLICE OFFICERS AND AN EQUALLY UNNECESSARILY LARGE AMOUNT OF SUVS PARKED ON THE DRIVEWAY, LAWN, AND ONE OF THE BUSIEST ROADS IN THE CITY. RED AND BLUES FLASHING ON ALL OF THEM. W h a t . T h e . F o c k ! ? ! They went up to my neatly organized room and searched it over discovering of course nothing but my phone. Snatching it with a joy like they had just successfully done something significant. I had 5-7 cops surrounding me in a semi circle after arriving at the Jail as I prepared to go inside a cell. They even shackled my feet. I know from watching cops and the like on YouTube to always exercise the right to remain silent. There was nothing I could do or say at that point which would help and I definitely didn’t resist the arrest so it really must’ve been a slow day. Eh guys? That and/or the overly incompetent rookie had relayed to his colleagues and obviously his Superiors to get the raid and arrest warrant his own personal story that he had recreated. Unfriggenbelieveable! It’s SO ABSURD THERE IS NO PROPER WORDS TO EXPRESS HOW IT FEELS TO GO THROUGH THIS! Doing something I considered not just “Right”, but Honourable, Justified, and definitely NOT illegal! How the hell did a JUDGE sign an arrest AND RAID Warrant on me with ZERO evidence, physical, concrete, or even circumstantial?? Not a single reason lawfully or otherwise for them to raid, arrest, shackle my feet and throw me in a jail cell for hours, and then criminally charge me with “Luring of a Minor”. Evidently, according to this news article the police had conducted a Six Month Investigation. Huh? Of What?! On Who?!
Now, Finally, The News Article: The information printed in any news article requires a source, so all of this information had to have only been provided by the police department. This article was printed at 9 in the morning the very next day of the arrest and raid. So of course this was all information provided from police.

This is what the dumbass, rookie, ignorant cop fabricated for no actual real reason: 

“Two men were arrested yesterday after a Six Month long Investigation revealed that the men had ‘BOTH’ believed that they were speaking with a ‘13’ year old boy online. Registered sex offender (the real predators name) and another known sex offender ( my name) are each charged with Luring of a Minor. (Real predators name again) is also charged with using an electronic device to lure a Minor, and breach of probation.”

My LandLord happened to be home at the time of the Raid, and he had also (I guess being suspicious after the raid,) read the article online which is quoted directly above. 

Which meant that he would be evicting me from the property, and I can’t blame him. With that article being read by my roommates and hisself I can’t really blame him for that either.
The charges against myself were eventually dropped, of course. About 18 months later! My phone being confiscated in the raid in order to access everything on there was also given back to me. They played immature and unprofessional games with that as well; returning my property. Such as : come in this day, your phone is ready to be released now. Show up. “Oh so and so thought it was ready but we don’t have it yet.” Weeks later. Get another call saying it is in fact ready now. Show up. “There is no one working in the evidence locker today, there will be in two days.” Screw them! I show up ten days late and what do you know? My property is actually there for me, and I finally get it back. Of course having had to purchase new phone in the meantime. Worse yet, I can’t recall the password and it was before facial recognition (not like that would matter) and after the fingerprint touch button. So it’s just a brick now.
That’s the least of my concern, as that bullshit article remains up, and the YouTube video had been taken down for some privacy violation nonsense.
After paying the criminal defence attorneys’ invoice(s), I couldn’t afford the 6K being asked by EVERY attorney I had reached out to.
So there, that’s one of many of my Unbelievably Insane Life’s stories. I suppose I didn’t provide the short version. Even though I have sincerely tried to keep it all to a minimum by leaving out plenty of details and significant events, this ended up being the Mid Length version.

Hi All,
New instant pot owner and hoping to get some suggestions from experienced users here.
I am hoping to explore whether there is a "one pot" solution to making salmon and a side (such as broccoli) in the one cooking session.
I have read a few guides for making salmon fillets in the instant pot but nothing that covers both and the salmon results sounded plain.
A few Q's

• can the saute function be used to crisp up the skin of the fillets before pressure cooking? And then deglazed? If so, any tips on this? All The recipes I have seen use a driver to raise the salmon and cook it plain which sounds bland.
  
• is there any way to include veg in the pot (either fresh or frozen, such as broccoli) such that when pressure cooking the salmon and broccoli are ready at the same time? It would be great to be able to throw in the salmon and broccoli frozen with say some soy sauce and water and that infuses and cooks both (perhaps after crisping up the skin first with saute function).
  

I'd love to hear any feedback or thoughts you might have! Or if there are any recipe links you can share for a complete beginner like me.

hello ^_^ this is a throwaway acc because ive never actually used reddit before and i'm nervous about people knowing my identity, since the things im going to discuss give me a lot of anxiety. additionally, i'd like to say that if this is not the space to ask this, i completely understand and feel free to remove my post ^^ i just can't stand struggling with myself anymore, and if this isn't the space, could someone maybe direct me to somewhere else where i can discuss?
for the past ~four weeks or so i've been questioning if i'm a system. i completely acknowledge i may not be, but i'm struggling to find disorders that fit my symptoms, and i know the did/osdd spectrum is a varied experience. i am also aware you all are not mental health professionals and cannot diagnose me, nor know exactly what is going on in my head, but i suppose i'm just looking for advice. i'm a minor and currently do not have access to a therapist or mental health professionals. i live in an abusive household, and i have heavily suspected social anxiety and autism. obviously i am not diagnosed, but my experience heavily relates to these two, and people i know who are say its likely i have them. i have several friends who are systems, online and irl, and my partner is also one. ive caught myself sometime.. wondering what its like to be a system, for lack of a better word? sometimes it feels like im mentally glorifying it, which i correct as soon as i notice, because i understand did and osdd id a trauma disorder and can cause so much distress and disorder (hence the name) in someone's life. i've been doing a lot of research but i still feel unsure, and i've also talked to one of my sys friends about my experience, and they also said its possible, but also possible that i'm not. the main issue i have is memory loss. ive struggled with my memory since i was a kid and i always just labelled myself as 'forgetful', but all of my peers have told me its not normal, and the past few months its been really stressing me out. i frequently forget things people tell me, things i say or do, and sometimes why i am somewhere, although i feel that last one is a relatively normal experience; the 'walking into a room then forgetting why you're there' sort of thing. ive caught myself feeling like im on autopilot, lost in my own thoughts and being unaware of my surroundings, which sometimes makes me do nonsensical things until i sort of 'snap back into reality'- i've put salt into the fridge, thrown my tv remote into the garbage, ran into walls or doors or stubbed my toes too many times. sometimes i forget my meals for so long that i end up eating two dinners, then remember the next day that i had two dinners. just recently i made rice. i remember cooking it, and eating it, but the next day my mom asked me why i put the rice into the pots cupboard. i don't remember doing this at all. additionally, i am very very bad at time; i'll think something happened two months ago, then my friend will tell me its been a week. ive always been an extremely emotion-oriented person, so when i act out of the ordinary, i considered it mood swings. i'm a trans guy, so i thought hormones, or maybe its the autism, or maybe its a normal experience, but recently an incident happened where i was talking to my partner in a groupchat with a mutual friend and i told them some very passive aggressive things which i would normally never say and once i had calmed down and apologized for the ordeal i realized i didn't even know why i'd reacted that way. they hadn't done anything at all wrong and one of the main traits i'd say about myself is i rarely every get mad/angry, and when i do, i never express this to the people around me. several of my friends share this sentiment. due to the abuse in my household, sometimes i'll have a mental breakdown and cry for an hour, but then be completely fine afterward. the next day i almost forget the thing that upset me ever happened- meaning like, i know it did happen, and i know it made me upset, but it just doesn't feel like that big of a deal anymore, and i don't feel upset at all. its almost like, emotional amnesia, for lack of a better term. i don't feel any of the emotion i know i felt at all, and sometimes even find it hard to understand why i was upset in the first place. apparently this isn't normal, either.
the big thing that makes me believe maybe its not did or osdd is i don't often disassociate, or maybe i do? i can't really tell.. most of the time i feel its me piloting my body, if that makes sense, but i zone out a lot. something i do struggle with is knowing the world is 'real'; often it feels like im.. in virtual reality, or looking at a painting, or a screen or something, but i'm chronically online (online every moment i physically can be) so i connected it to that. sometimes when it gets late i do things i wouldnt normally do, but i believe thats also quite a general experience- sleep deprivation changing your behaviour. ive dissociated during traumatic events, which is a normal trauma response, but one specific thing i can remember is in.. 7-8th grade, i can't remember which specifically (i'm in tenth now, i'll be in eleventh next year), there was a period of about two weeks where i felt extremely derealized. it felt like i was watching my body move and do things from outside, and it wasn't caused by anything, as far as i know. it just sort of happened.
another thing that makes me think i'm not a system is i dont really hear voices in my head i hear. my own but ive always thought its my own and its like narrating what i think, i guess its never changed unless its like i randomly read what someone said in their own voice or whatever and it doesnt really say anything that im not thinking unless i have intrusive thoughts, although i can sort of.. debate, with myself. but its always felt like me, like im weighing the pros and cons of somethin, or arguing for both perspectives of an issue. i've always tried to be an open minded person and see all sides. i do talk to myself sometimes, but i do it pretty mindlessly. i never thought anything different of it, but maybe its not normal? when i was a kid, i would talk to myself out loud. i also felt lonely and in 4-7th grade i had convinced myself the wind was my friend and that i could control it. i called him 'mr wind'. don't really think this has anything to do with being a system, but some background knowledge, i suppose?
when i first started actually doing research after denying even the possibility of me being a system for ~two weeks, i did try ti communicate with my possible other parts, but i wasnt very successful. i laid down in a dark room and focused on my mind, trying to call out to anyone at all, but all the responses i got only responded after i asked a question, and refused to answer if i myself could not think of a response to the question. for that reason, i believe this was simply myself attempting to come up with a response. i also started keeping a small digital journal, in case they'd prefer to communicate that way, but nothing i havent wrote or remember writing has showed up, either.
in terms of identity, i've been.. somewhat sure of myself? i think i know who i am kind of well, but sometimes i question myself. i don't have anything significant to say on this topic, which is why i didn't bring it up earlier in the post, but i understand identity is a huge part of being a system, which is why it felt important to address somewhere.
im hesitant to talk about this, but in relation to fiction, i don't have many 'kins'. however, there is one character i feel like IS me. i have no idea how to describe it. its just whenever i see him, i feel like he IS me, like we're the same, even though we have practically nothing in common. this character is loud and confident and a perfectionist and im none of those things, quite the opposite, actually. i know this probably isn't evidence but i just find it so weird.
food is a very sensitive topic for me. i am very very picky about food, because certain textures, tastes, etc make me very prone to not liking food, and when i don't like a food i eat i vomit. like many other autistic people, i have "safe" foods, which i typically will always feel comfortable eating. but every once in a while, a food that has been "safe" for years will suddenly taste horrible or have a bad texture and it makes me vomit, which then makes me scared to eat it again. sometimes i try these foods again in the future and they become "safe" once more. i'm not sure if this can be related to being a system, but i thought perhaps it was different alters having different preferences? no idea.
i once had a dream i was a system. it wasn't like, the main focus, i just was, the plot still unfolded as usual. i know dreams are just dreams, but since im mentioning everything ever, i might as well mention this too.
i'm not sure if these can be connected to being a system at all, but i figured maaaaybe they could be, so i'll mention them anyway: feel free to disregard this section if physical symptoms don't apply
-sometimes my knees will randomly feel weak, and like its hard to walk
-sometimes a random wave of heat will wash over me for a few seconds then disappear, this can also be accompanied by ear ringing
-sometimes a certain part of my lip will twitch and no matter how hard i try it won't stop, but it only ever lasts a few minutes
-for the past few days, i've had incessant eye twitching in only my left eye, and similar to my lip no matter how hard i try it won't stop, but its a lot more common than my lip twitched and only started happening recently. i've had the lip twitch for years, but it only happens once a few months. with my eye, although it only lasts short periods like my lip, its been happening multiple times a day. i don't really treat these as part of my 'evidence', just in case, i guess
this is pretty much all of my "evidence", feel free to ask any questions in the comments. my feelings won't be hurt if you say you think i'm not a system. i'm just looking for an honest opinion, because the way i can't remember shit ever is driving me crazy. i feel like i'm faking because i subconsciously "want" to be a system to fit in and better relate to my friends and my partner, and i didn't have suspicions before they brought up how they were, so how weird is that, right? but at the same time, i'm trying to be very very honest in my experiences, because i understand misdiagnosing myself could really damage my mental health. i just don't know anymore. if you believe i'm not a system, could you perhaps point me in the direction of something else my symptoms might fit into? thank you very for your time, and your help if you decide to comment ^-^

Automating Your Inbox: VBA Forwarding Techniques

Email management can be a tedious task, especially when it comes to handling a large volume of messages and ensuring important emails are forwarded to the right recipients with their attachments intact. Visual Basic for Applications (VBA) offers a powerful solution to automate these processes within Microsoft Outlook, saving time and reducing the potential for human error. By writing specific VBA scripts, users can customize their email handling, forwarding emails based on certain criteria, including sender, subject, or specific keywords contained within the email body.
This automation not only streamlines the forwarding process but also ensures that all necessary attachments are included, maintaining the integrity of the information being shared. Whether for personal use or within a corporate environment, mastering VBA to automate email forwarding can significantly enhance productivity. The following sections will guide you through the basics of setting up VBA scripts for email forwarding, including how to access the VBA editor in Outlook, write the necessary code, and apply it to incoming emails to automate the forwarding process.

Command	Description
CreateItem	Creates a new Outlook mail item.
Item.Subject	Specifies the subject of the email.
Item.Recipients.Add	Adds a recipient to the email.
Item.Attachments.Add	Adds an attachment to the email.
Item.Send	Sends the email item.
Application.ActiveExplorer.Selection	Gets the currently selected item(s) in Outlook.

Expanding Automation: The Power of VBA in Email Management

Email has become an indispensable part of professional communication, often resulting in a flooded inbox that can be challenging to manage efficiently. This is where the power of VBA (Visual Basic for Applications) comes into play, particularly in the context of Microsoft Outlook. VBA allows for the automation of repetitive tasks, such as forwarding emails with attachments, which can significantly enhance productivity and ensure no important communication is missed or delayed. By leveraging VBA, users can create scripts that automatically identify and forward emails based on predefined criteria, such as specific keywords in the subject line or from certain senders, ensuring that critical information is promptly shared with the relevant parties.
Moreover, the automation process via VBA is not limited to just forwarding emails but can be extended to include custom responses, organizing emails into specific folders, and even setting up alerts for emails from VIP contacts. This level of automation can transform how individuals and organizations manage their email communications, making the process more streamlined and less prone to human error. For individuals who are not familiar with programming, the initial setup of VBA scripts might require a learning curve, but the long-term benefits of automating mundane email tasks can free up valuable time for more important work. Additionally, the customization aspect of VBA scripts means that they can be tailored to fit the unique needs of any user or organization, making it a versatile tool in the arsenal of email management strategies.

Automating Email Forwarding in Outlook with VBA

VBA in Microsoft Outlook

 Dim objMail As Outlook.MailItem Dim objForward As MailItem Dim Selection As Selection Set Selection = Application.ActiveExplorer.Selection For Each objMail In Selection Set objForward = objMail.Forward With objForward .Recipients.Add "email@example.com" .Subject = "FW: " & objMail.Subject .Attachments.Add objMail.Attachments .Send End With Next objMail End Sub 

Unlocking Email Efficiency: The Role of VBA

The integration of Visual Basic for Applications (VBA) in email management, particularly within Microsoft Outlook, heralds a significant shift towards efficiency and productivity in handling electronic correspondence. This programming language enables users to automate various tasks, from forwarding emails with attachments to categorizing incoming messages based on specific criteria. The essence of VBA lies in its ability to perform these tasks without manual intervention, thereby saving time and reducing the likelihood of errors. For businesses and individuals inundated with a high volume of emails daily, VBA scripts can be a game-changer, streamlining operations and ensuring that important communications are promptly addressed.
Furthermore, VBA's flexibility allows for customization to meet the unique needs of each user. Whether it's setting up auto-replies, managing calendar events based on email content, or even extracting data from emails for reporting purposes, VBA offers a versatile toolkit for enhancing email management. The potential of VBA extends beyond simple automation; it empowers users to create sophisticated solutions that can adapt to changing workflows and requirements. While the initial learning curve might deter some, the long-term benefits of mastering VBA for email management are undeniable, offering a blend of productivity, customization, and efficiency that is hard to match with manual processes.

VBA Email Automation FAQs

1. Question: Can VBA scripts automatically forward emails with attachments?
2. Answer: Yes, VBA can be programmed to automatically forward emails with attachments, ensuring that important documents are sent to the appropriate recipients without manual intervention.
3. Question: Is it possible to filter emails by sender or subject using VBA?
4. Answer: Absolutely, VBA scripts can be customized to filter and act on emails based on various criteria such as sender, subject line, and even specific keywords within the email body.
5. Question: Can VBA help in managing email clutter by organizing emails into folders?
6. Answer: Yes, one of the advantages of VBA is its ability to automate the organization of emails into designated folders, thereby helping users maintain a clutter-free inbox.
7. Question: Are there security concerns when using VBA for email automation?
8. Answer: While VBA itself is secure, users should be cautious with scripts downloaded from the internet or received via email to avoid potential malware. It's advisable to use VBA scripts from trusted sources or develop them in-house.
9. Question: Do I need advanced programming skills to use VBA for email automation?
10. Answer: Basic programming knowledge is beneficial, but many resources and tutorials are available to help beginners learn VBA for email automation. The community around VBA is also quite supportive.

Enhancing Productivity with VBA Automation

In conclusion, leveraging VBA for email automation in Microsoft Outlook presents a significant opportunity to improve productivity and efficiency in managing email communications. By customizing VBA scripts to automate routine tasks, users can ensure timely forwarding of important messages, maintain organized inboxes, and reduce the manual effort required in handling emails. The adaptability of VBA allows for scripts to be tailored to the specific needs of individuals or organizations, making it a versatile tool in the arsenal of email management strategies. Despite the initial learning curve, the long-term benefits of integrating VBA into email workflows are clear, offering a blend of customization, efficiency, and enhanced productivity. As email remains a critical component of professional communication, the ability to automate and streamline email management processes with VBA can provide a competitive advantage, allowing users to focus on more strategic tasks. Thus, embracing VBA automation in email handling not only simplifies the management of email traffic but also contributes to a more effective and efficient communication strategy.
https://www.tempmail.us.com/en/vba/automating-email-forwarding-with-vba-and-attachments

This OC is intended for any potential upcoming or future tournies (😶). The CT is recycled from a previous post of mine but altered because I feel like the changes are better, Here's the original if you want to compare: Ya like Jazz? __________________________________________
Donny
Background
-Grew up in a not so friendly neighbourhood with 6 other siblings, this shaped him to naturally want to settle problems by fighting. Only his dad was a fellow sorcerer in the family, and their CT's were a secret between each other. Once he turned 18 Donny decided to become hired muscle because he was good at it and liked winning. He would grow in noteriety, becoming a high class bounty hunter, he'll get you an artifact, kill a man, or act as a bodyguard, as long as there's action involved he'd be there (for the money). On one of his many journies, Donny came across the ever chaotic "Ball?", which he believed fit his fightingstyle, and keeps on him at all times.
*
personality
-very chill, arrogant, quick witted, charming/smooth but in a bad news kinda way (like "hmm, this dude is definetly secretly evil"). The type to love fighting, but doesn't make it his entire personality. He's the type to be friendly with the person he was sent to kill. Deep down he is a lot more crazy though. 100% believes in "only the strong survive", he doesn't kill people willy nilly, but does think that any person should be able to defend their life in any circumstance and anything less than is their fault entirely.
*
Appearance
-25 years old, 5'11", just a little bulky, he has italian heritage so he's "brownish or darker olive to moderate brown" (wikipedia) with greasy slicked back black hair. He wears a white tank top with a gold chain, a green, white sleeved, letterman Jacket, and jeans. Always with a cigarette in hand.
*
EXTRA/misc.
-CE Trait - Oxidizer: A naturally really hot CE, but moving quickly, be it an arm, leg, or the whole body, causes the CE to catche fire momentarily.
__________________________________________
Cursed Technique - Flash Crash Thrash
-Innate Technique: the user can force their cursed energy and objects imbued with it to spontaneously gain a burst of energy in any chosen direction. In practice, this makes it look like the user moves a part of their body forward then very quickly “flys” along that path (like little Mac’s neutral b [look it up]), going upwards is optional too (like Ken’s up b). It can also be used multiple times to give the illusion of flight.
TL;DR: the user can make things enveloped in their CE (including themselves) boost, or be propelled in any chosen direction.
-Extension 1 (infernal rend): Able to rip shit apart by applying cursed energy to a thing and then having two streams move in opposite directions.
-Extension 2 (horizon hellflame geyser): Charge CE in hands for a moment, then release in either one big shot or in short burst laser, and Ce trait is activated on them so they catch fire. This extension requires: Miwa's BV but for better output, and using a double handsign to charge up CE at a reduce cost.
-Extension 3 (blazing parakeet): since the user can force a burst of energy into their CE they can rediret it mid air.
-RCT: As mentioned by GodofSmore, the opposite of movement is not moving, so Donny is able to freeze anything covered by their CE (including their body), as well as in midair.
-Domain Expansion (glorious dilema drawbreaker): HAND SIGNS: make x with hands. DOMAIN ENVIRONMENT: boxing stadium. SURE-HIT: near by objects and ethereal punches.
Maximum (Ever burning eternal passion): instead of a burst of energy, the users CT allows for a continuous stream
*
Weakness(es)
-The ability applies to specifically the users CE so unless one is able to fully envelope an enemy in their CE they can't use extension 1 on them.
-all close range besides.
-very predictable attacks.
*
Strategies
-stick to high mobility Ariel attacks. Specifcally, propel oneself into the air, then use CT to divebomb really fast.
-use the speed granted by the CT to corneclose the gap of the enemy and keep them on their tows.
-do like a tornado spin.

From the very early days with Electron (very yuck I know) to the game-changer Tauri, our project has evolved significantly. Tauri not only improved our workflow but also brought much organization to our development process. When transitioning, majority of our code was in the frontend. As we shifted our frontend work (mainly game detection mechanism) to the backend, powered by Rust, our project gained efficiency and robustness. It is actually quite impressive how powerful Rust can be when it is being used correctly.
Oh and yes. The software is fully cross platform (Windows, Linux, MacOS).
We're now aiming to transition the majority of our project's source code to Rust (so it is around-above 60% in github stats), and implementing the missing features.
I'd greatly appreciate feedback and tips from the experienced Rust users in this subreddit on how we can further optimize our transition and leverage Rust's capabilities to their fullest potential. Feel free to also comment about the Software as a whole. Any comments are appreciated.
Project Github: https://github.com/Lazap-Development/Lazap
https://preview.redd.it/m6xeex0gri0d1.png?width=1700&format=png&auto=webp&s=f3dd419a1a88e1ca5212716d0be6fe20795a93f4

So the last few years have been rough.
*note* if you're a "cheaters will always be cheaters type" tldr is don't bother reading or commenting
BACKSTORY 2019-2023 child nearly annual broken bones, lots of stress and specialist visits.
2018-2024 my wife got her associates as a medical assistant and is almost done with her bachelor's and final quarter internship while working full time and that has been hard for me. The lack of time for me and my son has really made an impact.
2019 I was injured at work and 2020 had my first surgery to try and preserve an ankle joint. That surgery ended up failing and while recovering I ended up mangling 2 fingertips in a wood jointer. 2020 I had to make the transition to a sahd on workers comp and have been since then. My lifestyle of hiking and fishing was upended because I could barely be on my feet 3 hours a day and uneven ground killed me not to mention the whole covid thing was pretty isolating.
All of 2021 was supporting her being a surrogate for a couple in City X (their egg/sperm). So, lots of trips checks and giving her injections. It was kind of proving myself to her because I was terrified when our son was born in 2017 and didn't help as much as I should have. Especially the first 3 months. Really, I didn't find out until later. We had conversations and fights at the time and id step up to do more and she would agree and tell me it was all okay. Then another fight saying I wasn't doing enough/anything and asking more and me being upset and confused. I guess at the time she was afraid to ask more, or tell me what she wanted, or her feelings, and the postpartum depression and initial feelings of abandonment didn't help.
Anyways the surrogacy went okay. I was there and supportive. Rubbing her feet and back. taking on extra load when she was tired etc. And hey I didn't pass out at delivery this time XD The end was a bit hard with 2 inductions needed and a massive 9.5lb baby and a stuck shoulder.
Then a few weeks after birth in November 2021 the nightmare began.
Out of nowhere she started hemorrhaging. She had to have an emergency D&C to stop the bleeding and scans showed a mass. Turned out the surrogate baby's placenta had some cells turn cancerous and attach to her uterus (Choriocarcinoma). 3 months later and the first 3 agent chemo failed, and her numbers were skyrocketing because it turned treatment resistant. They had to hit it with 5 types of chemo (EMACO) leaving future fertility a coin toss but more than a hysterectomy. By May 2022 the tumor marker was gone, but it was 6 months of intense monitoring and 6 months of monthly monitoring. The whole time she was in an intense spiraling depression questioning life. The meaning of all it, and how all her childhood trauma was fair. That no god would let a child live that. And questioning every decision in her life and wondering what things could have been like if she went a different direction. Feeling like she missed out on opportunities early in life. If this might be all there is (we have been together since she was 17). She said she felt like reality wasn't real and this was make believe at times.
Summer 2022 she made a new mom friend. She was pretty toxic and selfish. She used my wife for personal benefit and to go places. Yelled at her kids and treated the oldest from a prior marriage as less than (girl doesn't know her dad and when she mentioned she was part Mexican she freaked out and denied it because of how conservative and anti Mexican her new dad and his family is). Like never offered a dime, but expected food, gas, tickets, and gifts. She drove my wife nuts with that behavior. but she was desperate for a friend and loved her kids. Her friend would just talk shit about her partner pretty constantly and say my wife should be unhappy in her relationship too. Shit talking husbands behind their backs became like a mutual thing and I def hated it
Sometime 2023 she jumped into fantasy romance and fantasy smut /erotica. This progressed to an AI chat smut generator.
May 2023 monitoring was over and she was officially cancer free and had been on a health/mental health quest..
The mental health part started early in the year and she was seeing a therapist for depression and anxiety alone as well as her long list of childhood trauma. Off hand her therapist told her a few times she didn't know maybe just divorce me or something. I was super uncomfortable with this as it was completely outside her practicing scope and I didn't feel she should be providing relationship guidance, especially without me or the rest of the story. I felt a bit attacked and didn't even get the chance to give my perspective or account and felt that is pretty important after being here for a decade. A lot of negative points get omitted by her.
Summer 2023 she had some tough diagnosis for other chronic issues. Narcolepsy Dissociative Identity disorder Depression And a sleep disorder
I initially rejected this as I didn't want to accept these chronic and incurable conditions and insisted it has to be something else, that she's okay. It was taken as rejection of her.
Fall 2023 she reached out to a childhood ex bf a few states away and started an emotional affair. They kept in infrequent contact over the years and nothing ever came of it before. He has been unable to move past her or have meaningful relationships in 13 years. At first he pushed her away and rejected it, but after a month by Nov it was a thing. Texting saying I shouldn't worried because they dated before, but he ended up coming out as gay, calls in private, staying later after work. I gave it the benefit of the doubt but got burned. I found out in December the second time she wanted a private call in the car, and I checked her phone.
We started marriage counseling in Jan and I started my own therapy search as well as a condition of hers. She agreed to no longer contact the boy showed me the sent message ending it and blocked him. By Feb I found him listed in her phone as Saraa and found deleted texts and calls. In therapy she wanted to keep him as a friend and only friend and I tried this. She asked if a PO box would be okay for a birthday present, and I said no. That it crossed a line. It was also super close to Valentine's day. Next therapy I couldn't handle the anxiety and feeling physically ill when she used her phone, and we went through Jan again break off block etc.
In Feb the therapist recommended a separate space for conflict as we work on things. That too much conflict triggered her dissociative identity disorder. It was either a hotel as needed or a rv/camper. My wife was set on a camper and the only way to get a newer one was to add my credit/income to hers for a loan and I was uncomfortable on a $20k purchase. She assured me the intent of the camper was working on us and not separating/divorcing. She brought up me not having chores completely done all the time and I poured myself into it if that was making her unhappy over the years.
During this time in March I found out she got the secret PO box and had yet again resumed texting entirely deleting her logs. She had valentines gifts. birthday gifts, long distance electronic bracelets, and had an easter basket coming. Everything was put together into a box to be gotten rid of. That effort I had for chores and making everything spotless kind of died. Like there was that recognition that that obviously wasn't the problem. We lived completely separately for a few weeks until she could make a choice. We split our son and had almost zero interaction. Eventually she chose and I saw a notebook she used once in December. Basically she has started outlining a story envisioning herself as the lead character in once of her romantic fantasies and cast me and the other man as competing love interests
April and early may there was nothing. We did therapy and tackled our issues slowly. Together. Our future plans: college vs baby and the ticking clock of fertility and ifs after chemo. Etc
Last week she was going out for lilac picking and didn't text me for 2 hours and said she was at the beach. Later she showed me something in her email and I saw discord emails about a pw change and login. One bad gut feeling later and the next morning I see she deleted the discord emails and check our phone plan and her phone and see missing texts. I put in a phone record request for recent texts and text/call logs. She woke up and I said it did it and she said I was disgusting. Then admitted I was right.
She says after breaking it off she was worried he would hurt himself and just wanted to be sure he was okay and admitted to 3 texts and the discord call which i verified. Said that he was in therapy for his issues. She said she didn't want to bring it up to me because I would make it a fight and she thought she could just get away with a few texts to make sure. That she felt responsible for how much he had been hurt too.
So I did what I do with extreme anxiety and checked her work bag. I found an old journal they shared Jan to mid-march. Kind of confirmed again what was going on. Also revealed she lied to me about the trailer, or him? She couldn't get it without me and told him it was to work on separating from me easier. Yeah I kept pics in case this goes downhill because yeah, I'll gun for EVERYTHING. I'm sure that being tricked into signing a $20k contract under false pretenses for her personal benefit, secret po boxes, lying to our therapist repeatedly, secret texts, expecting gifts from the other man, career over spending time with family and a serious personality disorder on top of narcolepsy making a job hard to keep down wont do her favors at divorce/custody hearings.
So its all fresh for me again. I already have extreme anxiety and the autism doesn't help with reading/understanding people the best, although my gut intuition and pattern recognition are catching stuff fine.
WHERE I THINK I AM
Looking back, I can see that the personality disorder and narcolepsy are apparent. Dream delusion and memory issues from the narcolepsy make separating dream from reality hard as well as just recalling what happened. So whether not the "not feeling like reality is real" was a dream delusion or a full-blown dissociative episode... I can also see that messaging him was a "new" personality state. Maybe it's a manifestation of the trauma of nearly dying from cancer, maybe it's a fragment of her young identity that was created to survive her traumatic childhood resurfacing after nearly dying. But her interests and perspective massively shifted at that time and there was a clear separation between her with me and her with him. It was like this regression back to 15. Like she was molding an identity to fit his desires and interests. She took up tarot and witchy books, different music, painting, rockhounding (my interest), dried bouquets, dyed her hair and got multiple piercings. Even getting caught there was that click in her whole demeanor.
I can see how her friend may have jaded her towards me by all the shit she talked about HER husband. I can see that throwing herself into fantasy smut to cope flooded her with portrayals of unrealistic romance. That she progressed that by using an AI smut bot to hold those conversations with. Then she directly tried to process her own reality through the lens of those novels in that journal.
This "relationship" was "I love you, we can be together in 10 years". He wasn't going to leave his cushy job. Or his state. He didn't want to be a stepdad. He didn't want to support her career or have any involvement in it. She couldn't leave my state. Never saw illicit photos. No discussion of sex. It was like exactly what you think some lovestruck preteens would come up with. Like just a fantasy. No talk of bills or finances. Of moving. Of any substantial tangible entanglement.
Somehow that's easier to handle
I love her and don't want to leave her. But i desperately think she needs serious help and have told her I want her to do therapy 2x a month (on top of marriage therapy 2x).
I also think if a secret or deleted text happens again, I've got to take off the kid gloves and fight for it all. Cause well showing up at the dude's door would end in prison.
I'm sure this happening right as I fully got over last time and took a trust leap of faith on a "gay" friend that burned me will make it harder. I get the last few years have been garbage luck and I get almost dying can have profound affects though. She had been utterly loyal for 5 years (believe me I checked as we agreed to ie open book). Tying to see this with an open mind.
I get my exact expectations are muddy and part of this is just putting it into words to process for me, but I value if someone has any good input

Making this post because I had a less-than resouceful friend buy herself the boneless, skinless chicken thighs for way more than she should’ve. These tips also work for different cuts of chicken with skin and bones (though with drumsticks I usually just cook them in soup as-is).
Yes, the ones with skin on and bones included are cheaper by weight than the alternative, but if you’ve been just throwing the skin and bones away, stop! I have some budget friendly tips for you.
1) Collect the skin and bones and put them in separate gallon-sized freezer bags. You will be adding to them as you get more chicken. For the skin, keep adding chicken skins and fat to them. For the bag with the bones, you will also want to add veggie scraps such as the skins of onions, garlic, carrots, ginger, and celery. There are others you can add, but if you aren’t familiar with cooking times and qualities of vegetables yet, I’d try to just stick with those. Again, it’s better to use organic veggies or ones sourced from someone you know uses less pesticides when growing as you’re using the skins for this.
2) when you have a good amount of skins(like 3/4lbs or more), make shmaltz (rendered chicken fat). It’s basically the Jewish alternative to lard and tallow. It’s healthier than most cooking oils aside from avocado, olive, and coconut. It has a high smoke point so you can use it to fry, roast, bake, or whatever it is you do with your cooking oils. Because it is animal based, the chemical structure is easier to digest. You might want to steer clear if you have heart problems, though. I used a recipe from Serious Eats which goes like this:

• heat up a saucepan with about a cup of water over medium high heat and put in the chicken skins + fat, stirring occasionally until it starts to boil.
  
• turn heat down to medium low and continue to stir occasionally until the chicken bits start to turn brown and crispy and the water is evaporated (about 50 minutes). Some people like to add chopped onions around the end for extra flavor.
  
• filter with a sieve/muslin cloth over a heatproof container. If left in an airtight container in the fridge, sources say you can store from a week until a few months, depending on how secure and refined your shmaltz is after rendering. If you want, you can also snack on the chicken bits as a crispy snack!
  

3) When you eventually collect enough bones and scraps to fill the ziplock bag, you can make bone broth (or stock, for the anti-hippies). I sometimes add pork bones if I get any with my meat. I make mine in an instant pot so I’m going to use that recipe.

• Dump contents of stock bag into instant pot and cover with water (filtered is best). You can also add aromatics like bay leaf and peppercorns in, though some people like to drink it like a tea, so you could omit.
  
• Set to high pressure for 1.5 hours. Natural release (just don’t touch it til the pressure indicator falls down).
  
• Filter with a sieve to a separate container and not your sink! You can freeze portions for later. Salt to taste.
  

Bone broth(stock) is really good for your bones and adds a really nice flavor to whatever you use it for. Consider using it instead of store-bought stock or Better than Bouillon. You can use it for a healthy egg-drop soup. Supposedly some people use it in smoothies, but personally that’s not for me!
I like to get the crunchier packs of chicken when I can afford to (think free-range, organic, locally sourced), and if you have the means to, you should too since you can utilize all parts of the cut.

TL;DR: USPTO wants the public to report fraudulent trademark applications but charges them $50 to do so.
It is a known fact that, for some years now, there has been a rise in bad faith trademark registrations originating from China⁽¹). Through a subsidy scheme, individuals and companies in China are able to get a payout for successful trademark registrations in foreign countries, including the United States. This payout amount exceeds the trademark registration fee ⁽²). For example, a person can register a trademark in the US for $250. Upon successful registration, the person can then apply for the subsidy and get a payout of RMB 5,000 (approx. $700). It's easy to see how this is an appealing and easy way to make money. The registrant, in this case, has zero intent to use the mark in commerce. Most of these fraudulent registrations are canceled when Sec. 8 declarations of continued use are failed to be filed.
To combat the rise in these bad faith registrations, the USPTO has implemented various policies and measures in recent years. In 2018, it initiated a pilot program enabling the public to report fraudulent specimens via a dedicated email address monitored by the USPTO. This pilot program effectively allowed brand owners to identify problematic specimens, leading to refusal of the trademark application, all without the time and expense of a formal opposition process. However, the USPTO discontinued the pilot program on February 16, 2021.
In lieu of the pilot program, trademark owners can now report fraudulent specimens by submitting a Letter of Protest (LOP) to the USPTO, incurring a $50 filing fee. Despite this fee, filing a LOP remains a cost-effective method for brand owners to address fraudulent specimens without resorting to a formal notice of opposition, which carries a $600 filing fee.
I came to learn about this whole fraudulent registration scheme after I started my own application process for a trademark for my brand. Let's call this brand MYBRAND. As I did a search on the Trademark Status and Document Retrieval (TSDR) system, I found that MYBRAND was already registered in the same class of goods that I was intending to apply for. The TDSR showed that the registrant was an individual in China. The application was submitted late last year and hasn't been assigned to an examining attorney yet.
By looking at the specimen of use in the application, I was able to find the website where the purported specimen is in use in commerce. Without going into too many details, this website is evidently being used to facilitate fraudulent registrations from China. A search of the website will yield various identical items, albeit photographed with very subtle differences, with different marks that have been applied for registration with the USPTO.
In the case of MYBRAND, I found 3 other registrations with pending applications with the USPTO that used the same item. Each registration originated in China from different registrants. I've found that another common characteristic of these registrations is that they all form non-sensical words with jumbled characters e.g. FOAJTNA, EAODJT, AJEHFJK, etc. (note: these are not the actual marks). Somehow, they chose a word that unfortunately (for them) coincides with MYBRAND.
To make a long story short, I was able to submit a Letter of Protest that was accepted by the USPTO after a second try due to my first submission containing some mistakes. For these two letters of protest, I had to pay a total of $100. The letter of protest submission has some strict guidelines which I only became aware of after the refusal of the first submission. When I go to the TDSR, the application page for the fraudulent mark now shows a new document entitled "LOP Memo to the EA" which includes the evidence that I submitted. In the submitted evidence, I was sure to include the links to the other fraudulent registrations that used the same website and specimen in their applications. However, looking at the other applications for the other marks, there is no LOP memo to EA.
Therefore, the other fraudulent applications will be permitted to go through successfully unless there is a Letter of Protest submitted for each one. Having already spent $100 to file a LOP for MYBRAND, I do not find it a viable option to file LOPs for the other fake brands even more so as I am not affected directly.
As far as I know, the Letter of Protest is the only way to inform the USPTO of fake registrations. I suspect that they are already understaffed and would be over-burdened if there was a need to investigate every claim of fake registration if reporting was to be made free. But by requiring a fee for the LOP, they have transferred the burden to the public.
In conclusion, the USPTO needs to open some other lines of communication for the public to report fraud without incurring significant financial burden if they are serious about combating these bad faith registrations.

1. USPTO: Trademark Public Advisory Committee Meeting, 02/09/18, Page 35: "We have an influx of Chinese applications, we're having some specimen issues, we've got counterfeiting issues, we have bad faith filing issues. So let's just talk first about the influx of Chinese filings. It appears that there are subsidies being given by one or more provincial governments and those are one of the reasons for the influx." - USPTO Commissioner Mary Boney Denison https://www.uspto.gov/sites/default/files/documents/TPAC_Transcript_20180209.pdf
2. USPTO Report: Trademarks and Patents in China, January 2021, Page 3-4: "The first of these non-market factors is subsidies. China has reportedly adopted more than 70 subnational trademark subsidy measures, including measures for domestic and foreign applications and registrations.11 Because the amount of these subsidies often exceeds the cost of registering a trademark, a rational economic actor in China may choose to pursue a trademark application without any intention to use the mark in commerce. [...] The particulars of the Shenzhen situation are instructive. In 2013, Shenzhen issued operating procedures that allowed applicants to seek a subsidy of RMB 5,000 (approximately $750) for trademark registrations in eligible foreign countries, including the United States.12 After the USPTO lowered the fee for its lowest-cost, fully electronic applications to $225 in 2015, the cost to file at the USPTO was substantially lower than the amount of the subsidy." https://www.uspto.gov/sites/default/files/documents/USPTO-TrademarkPatentsInChina.pdf