Hello everyone,
If I summarize my situation,
My OPT process started in July 2023 and ends in July 2024.
When I started working, we filled out the I9 form and I started working. In the I9 form, the last working day is considered as the end time of the opt.
I know that e-verfy is required for opt stem extension and my company registered with e-verfy for me 2 months ago.
My primary plan is to continue working by applying for OPT stem extension.

My questions will be:

1. I will apply for opt stem extension. I am not registered with e-verfy yet, what should my company do? Does company need to do anything with e-verify? Do we need to fill out a new I9 after the OPT end date? Or should we continue like this? Or should my company show me in the e-verify system?
2. My other question is this. I am the only person working in the company, will this affect opt stem extension?
3. To apply stem opt, we need to fill I-983, what should be the starting day? I joined the company last year?
4. Another question I have is, after applying for stem extension, what should I do if I find another job before I qualify for the stem extension? What are your suggestions? Should I wait for the stem extension to get a new job?

I’m a soon to be graduating senior who has been an associate at Five Below for about 7 months now. After this summer I’m going into college with plans on getting a finance degree.
My problem that I keep asking myself is that if Five Below is the right place to get the experience I’d like. I’m not sure if I should stick it out and just try to work as much as I can this summer, and possibly get a higher position, or to look elsewhere where I could learn more about the field.
If anyone has any suggestions that isn’t completely biased against FB, I’d appreciate it!

Change directions Change decisions, Change is changing, Within obsession, I need you more, if possible at all, Since the day you thought I was someone more.
I know my words Have kept you reminded,
My disrespect, even still, Has me blinded.
I'm learning to seal it shut, And begin anew.
Reading and meditating, Talking to God, Praying for you, Picture your beautiful eyes, With in my soul,
I feel you, feeling dead for me, And for her,
Feeling..
Whole.
Please Believe in comebacks, You never will.
As long as she is single, You won't change, And I never will.
You're my person And I could be yours.
I could make you follow rules, And you have me whipped to yours.
I want us. Free, yet cuddled.
I can't spend alone,
Another scorching summer.
Your songs play, In my playlist,
"Sometimes in the middle of June.."
No.
The whole summer I think about ...
You.
It feels so lonely,
If I don't do something with my mind.
I've packed it, I promise, Even now.
I feel it.
She's wealthy, funny, kind and promised.
I have a plan, my heart, My music, and honesty.
I don't think the worst of you,
According to Ms. Brene, I'm feeling a hosts of emotions,
Where I feel lost,
You make me found
And God is showing me,
How to show you,
Love abound, What to do
And what not to.
I'll change in every single way, Just not out of love with ...
You.

Lesson 17: The Tower's Liberation and The Tower Card
Our exploration of the Tarot now brings us to The Tower, a card symbolizing sudden change, upheaval, and the opportunity for liberation. Let's delve into themes of embracing change, releasing attachments, and finding renewal through upheaval.
Discussion Questions: 1. How do you currently approach unexpected changes or upheavals in your life? 2. Reflect on a time when a significant disruption led to personal renewal. What did you learn from the experience? 3. In what ways can you view the concept of destruction as a catalyst for positive transformation and liberation?
Guided Meditation: Visualize a tower crumbling around you, representing the breaking down of old structures. Feel the energy of liberation and renewal surrounding you. Explore the emotions and insights associated with this powerful imagery.
Exercise 17: Pull The Tower card and reflect on areas where upheaval may be an opportunity for positive change. Dedicate time to journaling about the lessons learned and the potential for renewal in times of disruption.

Hello! I am looking for 3-4 players to start a collaborative hombrew setting Pathfinder 2e campaign. I will probably be looking to use Foundry to run the game and a discord that I wll send out if I feel like we'd vibe. My GM style is very character focused. I try to make sure my NPCs all act inline with motivation and always like to focus on the characters goals and plans, playing to find out what happens. Please fill out the form at the bottom of the post and I will get back to you! This is a LGBTQ+ friendly game.
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc_SFhuIv1tdrnaOga_rwfRRoxGQe7KsdTIY3ZSgcFmzObNnA/viewform?usp=sf_link

The Beginning
Hi, for a bit of context I have a 15k sub gaming channel that I decided to rebrand. Originally it was a variety gaming channel but blew up during the pandemic due to a game called Phasmophobia. During this time I had little and outdated knowledge of the algorithm and could not ride the waves. 90% of my viewers subscribed to my Phasmophobia content and because of this my analytics on videos with different games took a hit. Even videos I uploaded later on about Phasmophobia performed very poorly compared to what they once were. Eventually I gave up on the channel and called it quits.
The Experiment
In January 2023 I decided to try and rebrand my channel and stick to the Minecraft niche, unlisting my previous videos. At first I wasn't sure of what to do but had a lot of fun making content on Old Minecraft, creating let's plays similar to the old days of YouTube. I saw that other creators were having success reaching a few thousand views with their uploads doing similar content. For a period I even transitioned to another game called Vintage Story which took a lot of inspiration from Minecraft, and those videos performed decently well garnering a few thousand views. However, my heart was set on the topic of Old Minecraft and one day I created a commentary video about it. It didn't blow up at first but after about 3 months it grew to 50k views. This was the highest viewed video I had in years since the pandemic.
Testing Hypothesis
Despite this I had a feeling in the back of my head that the 15k subs I garnered from Phasmophobia were really holding back my channel from getting more views. Since I haven't been uploading that game for ages they practically became "dead subs" and were a reason why my channel could not get more potential views. To test this idea, I made a brand new channel with the emphasis on a game called Lethal Company that I started at the beginning of December 2023. My hard work paid off and two weeks in I had a video blow up to over 100k views. This single video gave me 11.4k watch hours and over 600 subs. Right now that channel is close to monetization, but I know that if I was to upload those videos on my first channel then it definitely would've made things worse.
Conclusion
What have I learned from this? Videos that blow up have inherently interesting topics. I took me almost 5 years to really figure this out. During that time I was able to learn more about editing, thumbnail creation, and researching. Another important lesson was that you have to stick in your particular niche until you gather enough of a large following and loyal fanbase before you branch out to other topics. Your channel can take a huge hit if you started as a FPS channel and then suddenly switch to Farming Simulator games. If you do decide to switch games then they can't be too drastically different from each other.
This is my experience and I'm sure there are others who have had success from rebranding their channel, so don't let my input stop you from trying different things. I would say that if you don't care about growth then just upload and post whatever you like. However if you want the most effective and efficient way to grow, then it really is best to create a new channel and niche down. If you do decide to rebrand then I think it's fine to do so early on before you have an established audience.
Thank you all for reading this long post. This subreddit has helped me out a lot over the years and I am super grateful for everyone who posts their experience. I hope that this post helps out anyone who is going through the same thing as well. :)

So I am trying a different way to review my FL. Right now I am going through BP FLs. Usually when I review an FL I see the correct answer and I get hindsight bias and I feel like I end up not properly reviewing a question. So I am thinking I will open a new attempt of the test section untimed and reanswer the questions and compare after doing each passage and see if I was able to get it right with more time and better reading of the passage. I only plan to do this for C/P and B/B and then do regular review for P/S.
Just wanted to know if this was excessive or if this seems reasonable. Thanks guys
P.S. I wanted to ask if a question you miss is a pseudo-discrete that is content related do you guys take the time right then and there to learn that content or do you save it for after you go over the exam.

Lesson 14: Death's Transformation and The Death Card
Our exploration of the Tarot deepens with The Death card, symbolizing transformation, rebirth, and the inevitability of change. Let's delve into the themes of letting go, embracing transformation, and the beauty found in life's cycles.
Discussion Questions: 1. How do you currently approach situations that require letting go or embracing change? 2. Reflect on a time when a major transformation led to personal growth. What aspects of your life changed during that period? 3. In what ways can you view the concept of death and rebirth as a natural and necessary part of life?
Guided Meditation: Visualize the symbolic death of old aspects of yourself, making way for new beginnings. Feel the energy of transformation surrounding you. Explore the emotions and insights associated with this powerful imagery.
Exercise 14: Pull The Death card and reflect on areas where transformation is needed. Create a plan to navigate change positively, acknowledging the potential for rebirth. Journal about your experiences, embracing the beauty found in life's cycles.

I’ll try to keep this short but I really need advice. Basically I was accepted into a “bs/md program” in the Caribbean straight out of high school. I’m aware that these schools just want your money but I still wanted to give it a shot because of my parents.
Right now I’ve just completed the first year. This school basically has 2 years online and then 2 years in person at their campus on the island. I’ve never been interested in studying far from home but the one thing about this is that there is no MCAT requirement. On the island they “prepare” you for the USMLE and then help you match back home,, not entirely sure how it works but my parents told me not to worry about it.
To be honest I absolutely hate it. It’s so difficult doing everything myself with no support from any teachers or peers because there are none. Not to mention I’m at home 24/7. Home to me is not a learning environment and I have no social life now. I’ve talked to my parents about leaving this program twice now and somehow they always convince me to continue.
I genuinely want to quit this time and I have a plan but before I do that I just need advice from others if I really should quit. I more or less know how difficult and time consuming the traditional premed path is in the US but I feel like I’m not learning anything right now. This school that I’m currently attending has also allegedly lied about their match and pass rates and I don’t want to regret everything if I actually do end up going to the island. Some advice would be appreciated

Had a funny shower thought about how in marvel people were like “Tony learns from his mistakes and makes the next suit to correct that mistake” but I realized Godzilla actually did to. The new movie his actions demonstrate this.
Case in point, when fighting Scylla originally in the comic, she kind goes high and tries to get on Godzilla’s back. So in the movie he goes low knowing she wants to get above him, and then jump checks her, and then gets her on her back so he can immediately end it. Then he does the smartest thing ever. He takes a quick nap, getting some rest, and taking the path of least resistance through Rome so that he doesn’t have to waste energy fighting humans like he kinda did in GvK
Next he grabs a snack in France, and this time does have to fight, and takes a more resistant path but my guess is that he had to in order to reach the water faster and slightly cool down. Additionally he probably remembers his thermonuclear overheating problem, so now he going to the North Pole to cool down, and also get more power.
When he originally fights Tiamat in the comic, he tries to overpower her physically after she ambushes him and nearly loses, getting lucky. So this time he ambushes her, and knows she likes to get in close, so he uses it to his advantage and immediately used his atomic breath.Then goes into her lair and takes another nap.
Lastly when fighting Kong, during the first fight in Hong Kong, Godzilla does get a good couple physical attacks in, but honestly just spams his atomic breath, after already drilling a hole to hollow Earth (kinda stupid) and then he later wins when he engages in a physical fight with Kong. In GxK in Egypt, Godzilla immediately goes for the physical fight with Kong, and the only times he used his atomic breath was right before Kong knocked him out (he didn’t get the atomic breath off but was charging it up) and then after he woke up, he used it most likely cause he realized Kong didn’t have the axe, and cause Godzilla was most likely pissed. Granted he was going to use it again to kill Kong but yeah.
Heck even in the last fight with Scar, Godzilla figured the weapon was controlling Shimo and destroyed the whip, but that’s not the main point I’m making (though I admit this one is a stretch) but he knows that Kong’s axe gave him a edge in their fight, so maybe he figured he should destroy Scar King’s weapon to neutralize the possible threat it posed.
But basically I’m saying that Godzilla learned his lesson with Mechagodzilla, and he tried conserving as much energy as he could in this movie. He took naps after his fights so that he wasn’t “tired” like how he was with Mechagodzilla, since he nearly died there. So yeah Godzilla learns from his mistakes.

Discover GPT-4o: OpenAI's New AI Model

https://incredibleworld.co/web-stories/discover-gpt-4o-openais-new-ai-model/

Discover GPT-4o: OpenAI's New AI Model

What is GPT-4o?

GPT-4o is OpenAI's newest and most advanced AI model. It's designed to process and understand text, images, and audio simultaneously, making it a powerful tool for a wide range of applications.

Key Features of GPT-4o

Multimodal Capabilities: GPT-4o can work with text, images, and audio all at once. This makes it incredibly versatile and useful for many different tasks, from improving customer service to creating content.
Availability:

• ChatGPT Platform: GPT-4o is available in ChatGPT Free, Plus, and Team versions. It also supports voice interactions through the existing Voice Mode feature.
• APIs for Developers: Developers can use GPT-4o through various APIs, including:
  • Chat Completions API: For real-time text and vision completions.
  • Assistants API: For building intelligent, multimodal assistants.
  • Batch API: For efficiently processing large datasets.
• Enterprise Solutions: Enterprise support for GPT-4o is coming soon, offering robust solutions for large organizations.

Real-World Applications

• Enhanced Customer Support: GPT-4o can power chatbots that understand and respond to customer queries using text, voice, and images, improving customer service and satisfaction.
• Content Creation: GPT-4o can generate text and visual content simultaneously, helping businesses and individuals save time and resources.
• Healthcare Innovations: In healthcare, GPT-4o can analyze medical images and patient data in real-time, aiding in more accurate diagnostics and treatment plans.
• Interactive Education: GPT-4o can be used to create interactive learning tools that respond to text, images, and voice inputs, enhancing the educational experience.

Why Choose GPT-4o?

• Real-Time Multimodal Processing: GPT-4o can handle text, images, and audio simultaneously, providing comprehensive insights and solutions.
• Easy Integration: GPT-4o is accessible through ChatGPT and multiple APIs, making it easy to integrate into existing systems and workflows.
• Scalable Solutions: Whether you're an individual user, a small team, or a large enterprise, GPT-4o offers scalable solutions to meet your needs.

SEO-Friendly Benefits

Using GPT-4o can improve your business's online presence by leveraging its advanced capabilities in content creation and customer support. This AI model can help you generate high-quality, SEO-optimized content quickly and efficiently, boosting your website's search engine rankings and driving more traffic to your site.
Experience the future of AI with GPT-4o. Whether you're a developer, business owner, or tech enthusiast, GPT-4o offers the tools you need to innovate and excel in your field. Discover how GPT-4o can transform your business today.
GPT-4o, OpenAI GPT-4o, Advanced AI model, Multimodal AI, AI for text, images, and audio, ChatGPT Free, ChatGPT Plus, ChatGPT Team, Enterprise AI solutions, Chat Completions API, Assistants API, Batch API, AI for customer support, AI content creation, AI in healthcare, Interactive education tools, Real-time AI processing, Integrate GPT-4o, Scalable AI solutions, AI innovation, SEO-friendly AI, High-quality AI content, AI-driven customer service, AI technology, Future of AI, GPT-4o capabilities, GPT-4o features, GPT-4o applications, GPT-4o integration, GPT-4o in business, GPT-4o in education, GPT-4o in healthcare, GPT-4o for developers, GPT-4o API, GPT-4o ChatGPT, GPT-4o performance.

We (24f/25m) only met once in person 5 years ago, and then COVID and financial issues (we don't have the best paying jobs) made it impossible to meet again. We stayed strong through all these years. We had other issues that I'm not gonna go into in this post, but nothing that serious. He has been depressed and he's not very happy with himself.
We are supposed to meet this year, in 2 months.
I've been working my ass off to save up for the trip (I live in a 3rd world country, so the salary is not the best). He has been working as well but he wasn't quite lucky in his search for a better full-time job.
He keeps pushing forward our calls to plan our trip. Either falling asleep or going out to work/friends/family and not telling me about it. Saying he would call me back and not talking to me for the rest of the day. He doesn't send as many selfies and seems to avoid videocalls. Feels like I get less and less of him as time passes.
He's gonna buy the plane tickets for me to go to his country (I'm gonna be the one to move in the future so I want to get to know the place beforehand - I'm taking classes to learn the language as well) and I asked him if he had enough money but he's not transparent with it. I say the amount of money I have with numbers, he says "I'll see how much I have but it should be enough" hasn't gotten back to me with a number. We have been talking about finally meeting since the beginning of this year, we push it forward a month already. July is very few weeks ahead and we still haven't bought the tickets.
He is nervous about money, work and studying, his whole future in general, there's a lot on his plate. I get it. I wonder if the trip is gonna get canceled again.
I don't know what else to do. I am flexible with my schedule so he could call me early so he'd be energized enough to talk. I work my ass off. I try to be compassionate, empathetic, patient.
The rest of our relationship is "normal". I love him very much and I know he loves me, but I want him to be more proactive and I don't know if he wants to invest this much in us.
Older LDRs, I need a hug :( and someone to talk to. Advice is welcomed.

When someone uses the word "fusion" in Human psychology, what does that mean?
In Human psychology, "fusion" typically refers to a concept within Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). ACT is a type of psychotherapy that focuses on helping individuals accept what is out of their personal control while committing to action that improves their life.
Fusion, in this context, refers to the psychological phenomenon where individuals become overly identified or entangled with their thoughts, feelings, memories, or sensations.
For instance, someone experiencing fusion might believe that their thoughts define who they are, leading to distress when they have negative thoughts. In ACT, the goal is to help individuals develop psychological flexibility by learning to observe their thoughts and feelings without necessarily identifying with them or being controlled by them. This process helps individuals create distance from their thoughts and emotions, allowing them to act in ways that align with their values and goals, even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings.
Can it be misinterpreted: using the word "fusion" to mean something between two Humans interacting as a mated couple in normal society?
Absolutely, the term "fusion" could be misinterpreted in that context, especially if someone is not familiar with its specific usage in psychology. In a relationship context, "fusion" might be understood as a negative state where the boundaries between individuals become blurred, leading to enmeshment or codependency.
When two individuals in a romantic relationship are described as "fused," it could imply that they have become overly dependent on each other, losing their sense of individuality or autonomy. This can lead to difficulties in communication, decision-making, and personal growth, as the couple may prioritize the relationship over their own needs and desires.
It's important to clarify the context when using terms like "fusion" to avoid confusion or misinterpretation, particularly when discussing psychological concepts in everyday language. In the context of relationships, "fusion" might be better replaced with terms like "enmeshment" or "codependency" to accurately convey the potential negative aspects of overly close or dependent relationships.
For the understanding and personal discernment of Seekers, Adepts, and others; should One use the word in normal conversation with friends and family, ensure they understand the difference in meanings lest more confusion be added where none is intended.
In psychotherapy, particularly within the framework of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), "fusion" refers to a psychological phenomenon where individuals become overly identified or entangled with their thoughts, feelings, memories, or sensations. It often leads to distress and dysfunction as individuals may believe that their thoughts define who they are, and they may struggle to disentangle themselves from negative thoughts and emotions.
On the other hand, in our Law of One material, "fusion" has a completely different meaning. Since we know that the Law of One is a series of channeled texts that discuss spiritual concepts and the nature of reality, we should endeavor to help bridge understanding of these words.
In our Law of One context, "fusion" refers to the process of spiritual evolution where individual entities merge or unite with higher levels of consciousness or with a higher aspect of themselves.
Additionally, in our Law of One understanding, "fusion" represents a state of unity and integration, where the individual self becomes aligned with the universal or cosmic consciousness. It is considered by us to be a transcendental concept related to spiritual growth and enlightenment, rather than a psychological concept related to cognitive or emotional processes.
So, while both uses of the term "fusion" involve a merging or uniting of elements, they operate in entirely different domains: psychotherapy focusing on the mind and emotions, and the Law of One focusing on spiritual evolution and cosmic consciousness.
I hope this has been of assistance in yOur progression and journeys.
Adonai.

So I have been a student less than a year- I am currently on my 4th term. I have only done 2 classes that are specific to my major I believe, which is currently creative writing. I love writing and enjoy the program so far, but I have horrible anxiety sharing my writing which makes me feel uneasy about the degree. I do not plan to use the degree for anything other than just being a better hobby writer. I am considering switching to psychology since it is also something I am passionate about and would enjoy learning. Is making a switch like that difficult or is it even possible to change majors? I don't want to keep causing myself unnecessary anxiety when trying to turn in any work for my writing courses... especially when the class requires peer review of my writing. I just don't think this degree is for me afterall. How do we feel about the psych classes as well? I know this is a lot, thank you in advance for any info!

Chapter 8: The Third Tape
The night was still and silent, the only sound the soft, even breathing of Amy as she slept beside him. Lucas lay awake, his mind racing with thoughts of the tapes, of the secrets they held and the horrors they promised to reveal.
He couldn't shake the feeling that he was being drawn deeper into the mystery with every passing moment, that the house itself was guiding him towards some dark and terrible truth.
With a heavy sigh, Lucas slipped out of bed, his bare feet padding softly against the hardwood floor. He made his way downstairs, the silence of the house pressing in on him from all sides.
In the living room, he switched on the TV, the sudden burst of noise and light making him wince. He flipped through the channels aimlessly, his mind not really registering what he was seeing.
It was just a ruse, a way to justify his presence downstairs should Amy wake and find him gone. In truth, he had another destination in mind, a place where he could listen to the third tape in peace, without fear of being overheard.
He made his way down the hall, his heart pounding with a mixture of anticipation and dread. The small bedroom at the end of the hall was empty, the bare walls and floor seeming to mock him with their blankness.
Lucas settled himself on the floor, his back against the wall, and pulled out the third tape. His fingers trembled slightly as he inserted it into the player, the soft click of the mechanism sounding unnaturally loud in the stillness of the room.
At first, there was only silence, a hiss of static that seemed to stretch on for an eternity. And then, Amanda's voice, soft and hesitant, filled the room. "It's been two months since I first realized I was trapped here," she said, her words heavy with exhaustion and fear. "The isolation is starting to take its toll. I feel like I'm losing my grip on reality, like the lines between what's real and what's not are starting to blur."
Lucas felt a chill run down his spine at her words, a sense of unease settling in the pit of his stomach. He knew all too well the feeling of being trapped, of being at the mercy of forces beyond his control. As Amanda continued to speak, describing the strange occurrences that plagued her waking moments, Lucas became aware of a sound in the background of the recording. A skittering, like the claws of some large animal on the kitchen tile. He felt his breath catch in his throat, his heart pounding with a sudden, irrational fear. He knew that the sound was coming from the tape, that it had been recorded months ago, but he couldn't shake the feeling that something was in the room with him, watching him from the shadows.
And then, Amanda's voice again, this time tinged with a desperate, pleading edge. "What do you want?" she asked, her words echoing in the emptiness of the room.
There was a pause, a moment of silence that seemed to stretch on forever. And then, the mimic's voice, a twisted, distorted version of Amanda's own. "What... do... you... want?" it repeated, each word slow and deliberate, as if it was struggling to form the sounds.
Lucas felt his skin crawl at the sound, a wave of revulsion washing over him. It was wrong, unnatural, a mockery of human speech that set his teeth on edge.
The mimic continued to repeat the words, each iteration slightly different, slightly off. It was as if it was trying to perfect its mimicry, to capture the nuances and inflections of Amanda's voice. "Want," it said at last, the word hanging in the air like a threat. "Want. Want."
And then, the tape ended, the sudden silence deafening in the stillness of the room.
Lucas sat there for a long moment, his mind reeling with the implications of what he had just heard. The mimic, the creature that stalked the halls of the house, was learning, evolving. It was becoming more human, more able to blend in and deceive. And Amanda, trapped and alone, was its unwitting teacher, its guide in the art of pretending to be something it was not.
Lucas felt a surge of anger and despair wash over him, a sense of helplessness in the face of the horrors that had claimed his sister. He wanted to scream, to rage against the darkness that had taken her from him, that threatened to take him and Amy as well.
But he knew that he couldn't, that he had to be strong, to keep going no matter what lay ahead. For Amanda, for himself, for the future that he and Amy had fought so hard to build.
With a heavy sigh, Lucas ejected the tape and slipped it back into his pocket. He made his way back upstairs, the soft glow of the TV still flickering in the living room.
As he slid back into bed beside Amy, her warm body curling instinctively around his, he couldn't shake the feeling that they were being watched, that the house itself was aware of their every move. And in the darkness of the night, he could almost hear the mimic's voice, a twisted, mocking echo of his own thoughts.
"Want," it seemed to whisper, the word heavy with a terrible, insatiable hunger. "Want. Want."

Hi all! I am a 32F looking to make better investments. I make $167k per year.
I have just finished paying off my wedding and have no major expenses coming up so I am focusing more on my financial strategy again.
I have $180k in a HYSA which I used to recoup some wedding costs. I'd like to keep around 25-50k in there as an emergency fund moving forward. So I guess I need to figure out what to do with the other $130k+!
I am new to investing in stocks. I have around $56k in stocks. I have been going for the ETF route with VTI and VXUS. I like the low maintenance required with that.
I am investing in retirement too of course, and have around $88k in my Roth 401k currently.
I don't plan to buy a house in the near future, so no real estate for diversification.
What would you suggest is the next thing I should do? How much of my money overall should I put in stocks? -- I don't mind a bit of risk there, just not too much. What are some other ways I should diversify?

I need advice, though this is partially to vent, I want to get my thoughts and feelings out there, so that maybe something someone says can help me. I (F18) live in my childhood home with my father (M55), mother (F50), sibling (NB14), sister (F21) and brother in law (M23). I get along great with everyone, except for my father. I've known my father, mother, and sister as long as I can remember, my sibling is 3 years younger than me, and we've known my brother in law for about 5 years.
In childhood, my father was never really present in our lives. He worked a normal job with normal hours, but when he got home all he did was watch TV. I remember this very distinctly as we were kicked off the TV at 5, when he came home. Even when he was off of the TV, he was distant and never really involved with us. Even when he did take one or more of us out, it was just to something we liked for a small amount of time, then we had to go to a hardware store or something with him for hours. All of us quickly learned to not accept his offers of going to McDonald's for a quick meal. He'd occasionally trick us, saying it was a reward for something, then drag us somewhere anyway.
His distant behavior became worse when his dad died, and his mother came to live with us. To make a long and horrible story short, she put me and my sibling through hell, bullying us about weight, appearance, behavior and anything you could ever think one would nitpick children for. This was when I was 13-14, and it left a lot of issues for myself and my sibling to deal with. At first he denied anything was happening, but then it got so bad I slipped to my therapist that I wanted to end my life, and he took me seriously after that. My father's mother was kicked out, but I was in rough shape.
Ever since then he has treated me like a fragile flower, always trying to say things like "You can always talk to your mom or I", but he knew this wasn't the case. I could never bring up anything with him as he would just tell me to go to mom, and never really supported me emotionally. He has depression and anxiety just like myself and my sibling, but unlike us he doesn't take his meds or go to therapy; he basically just doesn't do anything to improve himself.
But it really got bad when my sister graduated from high school and moved out. She had been with her boyfriend for about 3 years when they got engaged, and were married. This sent my father on a downward spiral. According to my mother, he had a bad drinking problem in the past, and had calmed down for a while, but this is when it started up again. My sister was always his obvious favorite; she looked like him, was athletic, smart, extroverted, and she had none of the mental issues he did. So her "leaving" him was very hard. He just couldn't deal with her growing up. I think it was partially because he never spent time with us, since after that he kept asking me to spend time with him, but at that point I had checked out of the relationship as much as he had.
He started spending more time in front of the TV. It really didn't help that he had an injury at work and had surgery on both of his shoulders, and he was being bullied when he did work. At this time, my mother had gotten a job to help pay for everything, and I was mostly home with my father, and he decided this meant I would do everything-all of the chores, cleaning up after him, cooking... everything my mom would normally do. They operated on his non-dominant shoulder first, so he could've helped, but no, he's just a poor helpless baby. I was 16 at the time, and also trying to learn to drive. His "driving lessons" consisted of him scolding me occasionally if I did something wrong, but not helping me learn at all.
I wanted to find a job, but between school and taking care of the house I was unable to. I got an allowance, but it was rather pitiful, and didn't even partially compensate me for the hours of endless work. Then there was an incident. My mom had told me to watch out for him when he'd been drinking, and I can easily tell when he was drinking. This was a day where I could tell he was drunk, but he came in asking for my help with something. He said that our truck was having issues and he wanted to look at the engine, so he asked me to help him wipe it off. I agreed. I went out with him, and my "helping" him was him watching while I wiped off the hood. Then he started to get angry.
I was focusing on the hood since he said he needed to lift it to look at the engine, but he told me to focus on the windshield. I was obiviously confused, but he grabbed another wiper and started to violently break apart the snow and wiping it off. I was still confused and kept wiping off the hood, but that made him more angry. He was moving in a way I knew would hurt him, but he was now raising his voice with me, angry and showing it. I started to dissociate, as that is my coping strategy, so I don't remember the exchange very well. All I know was there was a lot of swearing and yelling and calling me useless. Eventually he threw down his scraper and stormed off to the house.
I remember I was cold, sad, and I wanted to cry and run off into the woods never to be seen again. I wanted to scream, sob, punch a wall; but I did none of that. All I did was stand there for a while, then remember it was garbage day and take the garbage cans down. When I got inside, he was in his chair, watching TV, whistling to a song. I went to my room and cried. I hated myself, him, and the world so much, and that day I broke a streak of almost a year of self harming. I wanted to do more, but my dog helped me not to.
I wish I had let him go. I wish I had let him drive. At that point I still had some slight love for him, and that made me want to prevent his death. I honestly regret that now. He often got mad and snapped at mom, but it was never directed at me before. I knew that mom, with all the stress she was going through with her job and being both the house- maintainer and breadwinner wouldn't be able to handle that he had snapped at me. So I downplayed it, just telling her what happened and she said he probably either wanted fast food or alcohol, both of which he is addicted to. I still haven't gotten an apology.
I'm going to skip over some time here, as honestly his behavior is too frequent and habitual to mention every frustrating thing, so I will fast forward to the worst of it. A few months before my sister's wedding, it got really bad. He had yelled at my mom a few times, and every time we just took the dogs into our rooms, and we had gotten door knobs with locks specifically for this sort of thing. It happened often enough that all it took was a text to the other, and my sibling and I knew what to do. The worst happened on March 23rd, 2023. I don't know how it started; we never knew, but it didn't matter. The worst part is, my sibling was stuck in the bathroom when it started, right next to where my dad was screaming at my mom. They can't use that bathroom now when he's home because of this.
All I knew was I got the text and got our 2 dogs in my room. All I could hear (I was on the 2nd floor and this happened on the 1st) was how my mom was a bad person, getting the kids to hate him, she was a female dog, etc. Again it's a little fuzzy, but it got worse when he got to the 2nd floor. When you get to the top of the stairs, to the right there is their bedroom, and down a short hallway there is a bathroom and 2 bedrooms, one being my sister's old room. He went in to their room, and all I can remeber is him screaming over and over, "And you can just go F YOURSELF", all while slamming their bedroom door.
He did this for a while. All I know is that I, my mom, and my sibling all recorded it, but I am not willing to listen through that recording to figure out how long he was yelling at the top of the stairs, but the recording is 10 minutes and 47 seconds. Eventually his slamming of the door got too forceful, he broke the whole door frame, and the door ended up wedged in the staircase. He knocked himself out in this process somehow, and was out for a while. When his friend came (mom had called him), he even tried to fight him, but he was put into bed. He says he doesn't remember this whole night.
There was an intervention after, with mom and his friend, and he agreed to stop, or at least slow down. He didn't. There were some more screaming fits, and the last major one was in the beginning of December. But now, instead of screaming, he'll just get mad and snap at mom for nothing. I hate seeing her cry, and this affected my sibling and I as well. My sibling hates him, and is just waiting for him to die. They felt conflicted about this at first, but after father corrected himself after using their correct pronouns and made a comment around them about how anyone who's trans is just mentally ill, they lost the tiny sliver of affection they had for him. I have done my best to be a good older sister, assuring them it's normal, and helping them come to terms with their feelings. Now they just say we really are just waiting for him to die, and they feel nothing towards this idea.
Father has gone to therapy once, after a screaming fit where I wrote down how much him doing this made me want to die, but he says he doesn't want to go back. He continues to drink, and to not take his meds. My reason for this post was yesterday. Mother's Day.
Despite both mom and I working later than him, he still does minimal house work. If he does anything, it is to empty the dishwasher into the dish drainer, then bug mom for praise. Mom, sibling and I do almost all of the housework. I thought maybe he'd pitch in on mother's day, but no. I told mom she was not allowed to do any housework, and I did all of the laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc. The only thing I couldn't do was cook. But then, as I'm cleaning off the countertop and the table, father walks in and asks mom, "So what are you planning on doing?"
I wanted to punch him. He had been drinking, too. He'd been at least slightly drunk since noon. But HOW DARE HE. I think that was when I lost all hope for him. Then mom said, "I was just gonna leave it to you", and he had the audacity to look surprised, and even a little mad. He then walked away, I think to get stuff, but I don't care. I looked at mom, and she had the same baffled, amazed, and angry look I assume was on my face. But she looked a little sad, too. He couldn't do even this one thing on his own, on mother's day.
I had been angry with him for a long time, but at that it just grew into this huge raging fire. I hate him. With every bit of me. His disrespect and unwillingness to fix himself made me want to scream at him, give him a taste of what he gave us. But I couldn't. For the rest of the evening, mom couldn't just sit there; he needed to know the temperature and time things needed to cook, and she was just so frustrated.
Everything's at a boiling point. I want to tell him off, tell him how I feel, how much he's hurt everyone, and just how much I hate him. But I know I can't. If I do, he'll take it out on mom. Mom's too stressed already, as her job is hard and she's saving to separate if needed. She won't divorce him, since he could take the house, though they are both on the title, and she doesn't want to risk it. He's unhealthy as it is, my sibling is right; we really are just waiting for his liver to give out from all of the alcohol. But still, I am having a hard time living in the same house.
Sorry for the length, I get long winded when emotional. I'm just ignoring him for now, but I feel like my emotions could explode any day. Please give any advice you have. Thank you all.
TL;DR!: My father who is abusive has made me reach my limit, but I can't say anything. If I do, he'll yell at my mom, and I don't want that. I can't move out and she doesn't want to risk a divorce, in fear of losing everything, what do I do?

I am a MIS major, soon to graduate in about 2 semesters. I'm still very lost with what I want to do. I switched majors around a lot, but recently I haven’t been liking the business aspect of MIS and wished I did something more tech and programming related. I think it’s too late now. I was really starting to find an interest in game development, and that’s not exactly MIS related. What should I do? Can I still minor in CS? Are there any programs or something I can join to learn more about tech and coding, or is it too late? I was planning on learning to make games outside of school to gain some experience for internships since my major isn’t exactly related to that. I don't know what to do. I’m so lost. Any advice? Thanks yall!!

I'm interested in learning many languages (Arabic, Hebrew, Turkish, Persian, Spanish, German, French) and I can't decide which one to focus on. I know a little bit of grammar and vocabulary from each language mentioned (to different extents) but I can't choose one to dive deep into. What makes it even harder is the fact that some languages have different dialects some of which are basically different languages (moroccan vs levantine Arabic for example) and that's another decision I must make. And as a cherry on top, I'm not only interested in learning languages as a speaker but I'm also interested in linguistics and I love to study the abstract structure of the language I'm learning.
I've spent the past 3 years jumping from language to language, one thing to another and now I'm a jack of all trades and master of none XD
It's very difficult for my brain prioritize. If you were in a similar situation what helped you commit to one language and retain your attention?

I was just writing a new chapter of my fanfic and realised Astarion still has to feed on animals to sate his hunger because he cannot drain Tav/Durge completely.
The man drinks an entire boar dry for a single meal which got me thinking about a solution to this problem, our wonderful little vampire shouldn’t stoop so low as to drink animal blood after having tasted Tav.
A wizard (sorcerer and bard can too but wizards can learn so many spells and there are better ones for the rest to learn) can simply cast Polymorph on themselves and turn into another humanoid creature and allow Astarion to drain them dry.
For those of you who may not know, Polymorph in DnD allows you to turn into any creature you have the magical strength to replicate. You revert to your form once the new form’s HP runs out. Sort of like Wildshape.
As a level 8 wizard, you can turn into CR 8 and below creatures. And what humanoids are CR 8 and below? Why any and all humanoids from humans to dragonborn to elves. And since you choose the appearance you can simply turn into a different version of yourself and allow Astarion to completely drain your Polymorphed form. That way, Astarion will never again have to feed on any animals. He can feast on humanoid blood everyday and he can even choose to taste all the different kinds of humanoids there are, all through Tav and without actually killing anyone. As Tav levels up he can even turn into more exotic humanoids like eladrin elves so Astarion can have some fey blood.
Thank you for attending my TED Talk on providing ethical and nutritious meals to your vampire boyfriend.
You can read my writing here if you wish:Link

I pondered for a while about writing this. I have absolutely nobody I can share it with, so I come to strangers.
June (38F) and I (39F) are cousins and best friends. We grew up together and we were the sister that neither of us had. We have loved each other, been there for each other through thick and thin, and have had the best of times together. But, like every close bond, ours has had challenges, and right now things are pretty awful.
Some backstory: June got married very young, and for personal reasons she and her husband decided to adopt. Their child is now grown and independent, and she has her freedom and time to rediscover herself and her interests. I, on the other hand, am a mom of a toddler and my life is pretty messy at this point. I did feel our relationship get a little strained since I became a mom. I believe it was because she kind of lost me for a bit, I became less available and wasn't able to talk a lot. I decided not to do anything about it at that time since I felt that my sensitivity (I did have a mild form of PPD, I later discovered) might be distorting my perception of things. But it felt like she avoided me when she indeed had the opportunity to see me, choosing to do other more fun things instead. Or she would make plans to see me and the baby but the venues and times were usually not appropriate for me and I would have to decline. I wasn't feeling good about any of this but I would rationalize - nobody needs to accommodate me and my specific situation, because they didn't choose to have a baby, I did.
Anyway, June and her husband drifted apart through the years. They do love and respect each other, they have a child and a business together, an overall good life, but the spark had gone. So it happened that June fell in love with someone else, and it turned out to be mutual. And they had an affair that lasted a while. I don't judge her about it, it's her thing, and her husband has probably done it too, this post isn't about that. The affair got toxic and she did try to break it off. It was on and off for a while and then something awful happened. Her lover (also married, a known member of our community) was involved in a horrific car accident. He first went into a coma and then passed away. For all I know, I was the only person that knew about the affair.
She was out of state when it happened. We weren't in a position to talk about this a lot. She was with her husband, and I was rarely alone. Most of the times we would text about it, I'd ask her if she wanted to talk about it, and she'd say no. Sometimes because she wasn't alone, and other times she said she didn't want to talk about it. And I chose not to pressure her, because how people react to grief is very specific and very different. I tried to tell her I am there for her whenever she wants to talk about it. Bear in mind that I live with a toddler and a husband who works from home, so I am rarely alone. I'd call her when I'd go grocery shopping, or tell her I'm going out and will be out for a while, giving her an opportunity to talk if she wants to. She very rarely did. And I know this because I went through our chat history, in order to check myself and how good of a friend I am.
The day of the funeral, I told her I'm there if she needs me. She lashed out at me, saying I am actually not there for her. I said I'm sorry that I can't be there, explained that it is difficult to be there in the way she'd need me since I also have to hide how much she needs me from everybody. And I also have a small child. It hurt me but I let it go. She was grieving and angry and had nobody to talk to. Things seemingly got better in the meantime. We had more opportunities to talk about how she is feeling. We also had daily communication like sharing funny memes and things that make us laugh. Not many opportunities to see each other. I work on different projects that take up a lot of my time. She is also very busy with her business and traveling, so there simply weren't many situations. And honestly, I stopped initiating meetings with her one on one since, as I said before, she would either have something else already planned, or would be away on a business trip, and I started feeling like me asking would always end with a refusal on her side.
We met recently at an event that we both enjoyed and had a great time, or so I thought. I texted her a couple of days later wanting to talk to her but I got a response that really hurt me, but also made me think if I am in the wrong. Not to go into detail, but she accused me of not being there for her grieving process. She said that having a child was not an excuse. She also implied that I was never fully there to help her get out of her toxic affair - I'd disagree but whatever. And in the end she added a couple of situations where I didn't react properly which to me were totally random. I decided not to get in a texting argument - again, I reminded her that to be fully there I also had to lie and make up situations. She said that I should have, and concluded her text with telling me that she doesn't want to talk to me. I told her we can talk when she feels like it, to which she replied that she will probably never want to talk to me again about serious matters. That we can keep our communication superficial like it lately is (which I would also say is a difference in perception) but that she is aware of it and that she is far from OK with it.
Since that last text I am in a grieving process of my own. I feel for her, I know her aggression is a substitute for sadness. I know it is unfair when we lose someone, and we need to have someone "to blame". But I also feel like I might have been treated unfairly. If she feels like she has lost me now, I feel like I have lost her a few years ago - when I had my issues with a small baby and undiagnosed PPD, and husband and in laws that I couldn't stand at the time. And I also feel stupid for never sharing that before with her. And I think sharing it now would just completely destroy our relationship, if there is a relationship still.
So, AITAH? And WIBTA if I told her how I feel?

Before talking about essence, I think I need to talk about wielders. All factions have their wielders group into 3 classes with mostly standardised skill tree. While wielders can be viewed in detail in this link: https://soc.th.gl/wielders their classes names can not. The only place that I know of where you can find them is in your town, when you recruit wielders they have their class names under their own names.
Each class have one school of magic they can easily learn from the level 1, second magic school they can easily learn from level 5 and third school of magic they can easily learn from level 10. Some classes can learn their third school earlier than at level 10, but the path to it can be awfully convoluted. Importantly, each magic school is once first, once second and once third within the classes of each faction.

Barya

Barya has access to 3 types of essence from their units: destruction, order and chaos. The amount of chaos essence you can get from the units without research is two. Only two, one from dreaths and one tinkerers/artificers. This is awfully small, and I think that since Barya wielders have chaos magic as an important part of their skill development, there should be at least a decent amount of it within the units.
One class within Barya has primary magic school as destruction magic, followed by order magic. There is not much issue here, even if you want to use musketeers and pikeneers in early game, order magic is still fairly accessible to them.
Next class within Barya has primary magic school as order magic, followed by chaos magic. Order essence is more abundant than destruction essence in the early game, so that is fine, but chaos magic is obviously not very appealing. However, you do not have that much wasted destruction essence until later, so only getting destruction magic from level 10 onwards isn't that terrible.
Last class within Barya has primary magic school as chaos magic, followed by destruction magic. This is magic damage focused class, so it can get value from chaos magic later on, but in early game it is probably best to ignore and prioritise getting destruction magic from level 5.
Now, tinkerers/artificers can get second chaos essence from their first research, meaning if you invest heavily in that unit you will have a fair amount of chaos essence (pipers also get one chaos essence with research). What is more important is that tinkerers have the ability to erect stakes, which enables the tactic of slowing the game down with stakes and dealing damage with your spells, since these units have a fair amount of destruction essence as well. This is a very non-interactive tactic, which is also why it is (unfortunately) very strong. Should the ability to erect stakes ever be nerfed/replaced, this wielders class would immediately plummet to the ground, because chaos magic school would just drag them down.
I think tinkerers/artificers should have one of their destruction essence swapped with one chaos essence. This way with research they would have 3 chaos essence, meaning this magic school could actually be put to some use. I will, however, mention that chaos magic school is a bit weak in general so it would benefit from having the Tempest spell replaced with something that actually can be put to any use (which I have mentioned in my posts before)

Loth

Loth has access to 3 types of essence from their units: destruction, arcana and order. The amount of order essence within the units is three, unlike in Barya there is no more essence to be gained from research, meaning it has less total amount of order essence than Barya chaos essence with research included.
First class within Loth has primary magic school as destruction magic, followed by arcana magic. It does not suffer from the inclusion of order essence early in their skill tree.
Next, the second class within Loth has primary magic school as order magic, followed by destruction magic. That isn't very good. The units that produce order essence are oathbound/legionnaire, cultists/oathsingers and legions, each having only one order essence on them. This means you will get an ok amount of it in early game, if you get both cultists and oathbound, but is not really going to be what you want past very early game unless you go for spells damage build, and this class does not have access to channelling... so maybe don't.
Eventually legions will produce some amount of order essence, but still this won't be very useful school of magic, but at least you have access to destruction magic school from the level 5.
The last, third class within Loth has primary magic school as arcana magic, followed by order magic. Loth has a fair amount of arcana essence, even if it is not the case in early game. However, this is exactly when you get this magic school, and it is followed by order magic school. This is frustrating, because of how dominant destruction essence is within Loth troops. You are sure to have a sizeable amount of destruction essence that you can't put to effective use due to not having the magic school skill. Order magic school is also an unfunny joke at this point.
The natural answer might be to simply invest in more might related skill in the meanwhile, and yes it is the answer, but it won't take way the fact that you will be sitting on the destruction essence that you can get frustratingly little value of. Not to mention, the more invest in might related skill, the less likely it is for you to roll destruction magic later.
I will admit, you can technically get destruction magic school earlier than at level 10. Now, to have a chance to roll it earlier you have to have already put points into march, prepared and raider, yes, raider. This isn't worth to be talked about any further.
What can be done about it? Shuffling the schools around is not really an option, since some class would be without destruction magic until level 10 anyway. Honestly, I don't think there is a good solution here other than breaking the symmetry and allowing this class the easy access to destruction magic earlier.
I suppose, Oathbound/Legionnaire could have their one destruction essence for second order essence. This would be more of a help to the second class of Loth rather than the third, but at least investing in order magic as the third class could still have some merit.