DISCLAIMER: This theory uses text from the leaked 2.3 relics, Firefly's signature light cone, the current Glamoth planar relics, and relevant lines from dialogue in the story. I'll do my best to cite my sources for everything!
Let's get down to business! Who, or what, is Titania exactly?
According to both planar relics, she's the "Empress". That's about the only thing they agree on though, because the sphere describes her as a benevolent ruler who brought civilization to Glamoth's outer colonies, while the rope actually tells us that she's got no power (but I think they mean political power, since it also claims she telepathically commanded the Iron Cavalry and that seems kinda powerful), and that the ruling council created her in response to the Swarm's attack. Here's a longer excerpt from the rope's description:

"In the dreams that these warriors are woven into, the sole meaning of their existence is to guard Titania and her 'empire'. In their short lives, they studied, fought, received the Empress' commands, faced the enemy fearlessly, and died with honor."

It's pretty damning evidence that "empire" is written in quotation marks like this in most of these relics, and I've got theories about what kind of state Glamoth was (cough cough. Interstellar colonizers, cough), but that's another discussion. What matters here is that Titania definitely isn't a real Empress. Maybe she's a puppet ruler, or a symbol but not a person, or even some kind of war tactic AI skynet situation to direct troops, or whatever floats your boat.
I don't think she's Firefly, though. IMO it'd be a little tacky to get another identity reveal after Sam, but I wouldn't be making this post if I didn't have a stronger argument than that. Before 2.2, there were a lot of theories about her identity as Sam, the Stellaron Hunter... specifically theories that wanted to separate that identity from "Firefly", either by claiming Sam might be an AI or a second personality, or by claiming that Firefly is an ordinary girl (or Titania) who found the armor and decided to wear it. Lemme go over my counterarguments for both these points, and then I'll get to my own theory.
After her first "death" to the meme, Black Swan helps us investigate what Firefly was doing in the hotel, and a certain line of dialogue raised many questions. To quote:

Firefly: "Let's get going..."

(Here Black Swan proposes that she's with another person)

Firefly: "Why did you...!? This isn't what we agreed on..."

(Here Black Swan proposes that somebody betrayed her)

Firefly: "Mecha...!? Why..."

(Here Black Swan points out it's weird of her to say 'mecha')
Thing is, Black Swan's memory magic never shows us this second person, so we can only assume she's talking to the armor, right? Except... we've never seen her and Sam in the same place together. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's actually pretty big proof here. When she transforms into Sam, or back out of Firefly, the armor just appears and disappears in a bunch of flames. Of course it's probably that her transforming device is the reason why, but even without it there's a line in Genshin that could explain this too. In one of the Traveler's profile voicelines, Paimon confirms that weapons and personal items simply appearing out of nowhere is a regular thing that happens in-universe, and it's likely HSR uses this same rule. I don't think there's any hard evidence to suggest the armor even exists physically until she uses her transforming device, so we can rule out this mystery person being Sam.
IMO, it was probably more like an upset reaction to somebody else who brought up the 'mecha' thing first. Maybe something like this:

???: "Sorry Firefly, you can't go off-script. You have to activate your mecha."
Firefly: "Mecha...!? Why..."

It could've been Silver Wolf on the phone, or maybe even Elio, but it doesn't really matter.
Another thing I've seen people argue is that her personality when we first meet Firefly in Golden Hour just doesn't match up with Sam. Voicelines from the Stellaron Hunters, dialogue from SW visiting the Express, and one of Blade's story chapters all describe him as the ruthless and cold-blooded muscle of the group, which is very different from the sweetheart tour guide we met. I think people can't understand how these two versions of her coexist, but they're not mutually exclusive at all. What if Sam's efficiency is because she dislikes being a weapon, and wants to get her jobs over with quickly? What if her mission in Penacony is Firefly's first chance to actually explore herself as "Firefly", without her scripts asking her to cause destruction? It's not like she's living a double life, more like she's still in the process of growing into her actual self. Maybe texting us stickers from Blade's phone was a baby step for her to experiment, since TB hadn't met Sam yet and she could be less serious, or maybe her armor's fingers have trouble typing, who even knows?? I think the "inconsistencies" in her behavior can be explained pretty easily once you realize she's still figuring herself out, y'know?
There's also tons of dialogue before and after her reveal that implies she's pretty familiar with combat, too. Her accurate description of Sampo is the obvious one (that man is NOT 5'9 though), but she also mentions that a baseball bat isn't an efficient weapon, and later in the story if you picked the Hanu trial for the auditions thing, she complains about not having her armor, brings up that it'll be hard for her to let go of the bazooka, and compares Hanu's rocket launcher to something called the "Soaring Locust II" (some kind of weapon attachment for her armor maybe?), so it's pretty clear that she's not a stranger to fighting. I don't think she's just some ordinary girl who picked up the mecha.
Finally, there's an inconsistency between her and Sam when talking about dreams. On the balcony, Firefly describes her dream about the scorched earth and the sapling, while Sam outright says he was "born without the ability to 'dream'." Thanks to her upcoming light cone, we've got an answer to this problem:

"Dreams remained too distant for her, as she gazed into the infinite darkness. Even as she sensed her consciousness slipping away, her mind replayed the same lingering memories over and over again..."

I think the simplest solution is that Firefly's 'dream' was a metaphor to explain her wish to the Trailblazer, like a visualization to help her and others understand those feelings. The light cone kinda implies she doesn't dream at all, instead she relives her memories from being in the Glamoth military. The rest of that paragraph goes on to describe a Swarm attack and her fellow Cavalryman dying around her without anybody to honor their sacrifice, which is a memory she'd only have if she fought alongside them.
So dreaming isn't an issue anymore, and her two personalities aren't mutually exclusive, and she wasn't talking to her armor in the hotel. But I hear you, none of that really proves she isn't Titania, right? Because at least the Empress has the same origin as the Iron Cavalry pilots... And that's a good point, but I've got evidence against it too.
According to Firefly's drip marketing, she was "Born as a weapon", and is "afflicted with the agony of Entropy Loss Syndrome due to genetic modification.", both of which line up perfectly with our understanding of the Cavalry pilots so far. One leaked relic says "Identical-looking warriors were birthed from the incubators", the rope says "the ruling council threw down the gauntlet and resolved to alter the essence of humanity", and even Firefly herself says "[Sam] is the cradle of my vitality, and the meaning of my birth." when asked about it in Dreamflux Reef. These statements only make sense if Firefly is one of these lab-grown humans, and literally born to pilot her armor.
If you're still not convinced, that line about Entropy Loss gives us another clue: since it's due to genetic modification, that means her "altered essence" is what causes it, so how exactly is she different from a regular human? Another leaked relic says "The armor deeply synchronized its sensory organs with that of the pilot", which is very weird phrasing until you remember that Welt told us Sam has superhuman perception after we got SW's message. That ability kinda contradicts everything Firefly said about her condition, so what if her genetic modifications are meant for that "synchronization"? Maybe it's supposed to increase combat effectiveness with some kind of symbiotic relationship between her and the armor? It definitely plays into more mecha anime tropes (NGE comes to mind), which she's already got a crazy amount of, and might even explain why she's naked while wearing her armor.
When she calls Sam the "cradle of [her] vitality", she means it's literally the only way she can guarantee her Entropy Loss won't flare up and cause her to dissociate. The armor keeps her grounded and conscious, even though it might be extremely painful to use it, given how Adin Rudd in the English dub almost seems to grunt out his lines, and how her kit and the boss' kit both include HP-draining mechanics. This is also why she appreciates the Dreamscape so much, as she told us in her secret balcony spot that she's able to "listen, and see, and touch, and think, and understand whatever I want with my body", as opposed to doing these things with Sam instead. Her cutscene with Blade suggests that it's not impossible for her to exit the armor, but I'm guessing she can't do this for long stretches of time, or that it comes with a risk of having her Entropy Loss worsen. The "icy medical cabin" she mentioned turned out to be Sam, after all.
This one's a bit more subjective, but I'll die on this hill so I might as well include it as a final argument. I honestly think her narrative themes benefit more if she's a regular Iron Cavalryman than if she's Titania. Her story is about an experimental soldier born to be a weapon, living only to kill bugs by the orders of a fake Empress she swore loyalty to, and never having a chance to experience life as a regular young girl. It's about recovering from war trauma, overcoming a medical condition and physical disability, and finally discovering an identity for herself instead of being defined by her use to other people. I'm so in love with this character concept, and while I plan to bankrupt myself over this girl no matter what direction Hoyo picks, I've got my fingers crossed that I'm right about her because it would be so amazing to see that story come to life about a character who stole my heart like this. ^w^
In conclusion? Firefly ≠ Titania, and I believe it's a more cohesive, impactful, and beautiful story if she's a soldier instead of an Empress.
Thank you for reading!
P.S. I'd love to hear anybody's thoughts in the comments, whether they agree with some of my points, or if they've got arguments of their own! Just remember to be civil, because at the end of the day we're all Firefly enjoyers and everybody's ideas are valid until we get more official information about her! :D

What are your audible recommendations? Preferably memoir styles. I love fiction but typically read fiction as physical books or on my kindle. When I’m listening I prefer self-help or memoirs.
Some that I’ve listened to recently are:
If I did it (OJ book /goldman family) Long Walk to Freedom, Nelson Mandela Born a Crime, Trevor Noah I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette McCurdy Spare, Prince Harry The Woman in Me, Brittany Spears Relentless, Tim S. Grover
Have many more I’ve listened to, but these are my recent. Need some new recommendations please!

I 19 female, I've been in a long distance relationship for 3 years with John (fake name) 19 male. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was 16. For context, John and I met in a group and since then we started talking. (I was dating my ex, but when I realized that I had developed feelings for John I ended that relationship.) In this group he was a big womanizer, and he talked to his ex, which didn't bother me since I never thought there was anything malicious about it. 4 months later I asked John if he felt anything for me, because he was acting romantic and sweet toward me, he said yes and then we started dating. (Note: he was jealous of my friends). A few weeks after we started dating, and all of our mutual friends knew about our relationship, and he didn't feel uncomfortable with people knowing about it, I sent him Intimate photos, he went on and sent these photos to our group, where there were more than 100 people, including our friends. When I saw it I was shocked and immediately left the group. My friends came to talk to me and so did he. He apologized, said he was going to send these photos to a group that was just him because according to him it was easier for him to see. Reading this now I realize it's a strange thing... but at the time I was so in love that I excused him. That same day we made a video call until I went to sleep, he praised me a lot, dedicated some songs to me, it was very romantic.During the next few weeks we made video calls every day, watched movies, listened to music, talked a lot until the early hours of the morning. There was a day when a girl joined the group where we were, and she and I became very good friends, there ended up being a lot of confusion because she wanted to date John, but he didn't want to. However, he always asked for intimate photos for her or for another girl in the group, he said it was to make me jealous, he ended up sending some intimate photos to her too. Well, a few months passed and I was suffering with my mental health, a few months before I met him I had tried to take my life, and I was under psychiatric care. During that time I started smoking and hurting myself, but he always helped me not to do so and always asked me to stop smoking and never use drugs. Until one day I was having an anxiety attack and felt the need to hurt myself while I was on a call with him, so he asked me to write his name on my skin with the razor. I did, he laughed. Some more time passed and I experienced what I think was an attack of schizophrenia, I saw and heard a person talking to me and asking me to do certain things that would hurt me. John stayed on video call with me while he tried to calm me down and said everything was ok and asked me to pray. That day my mother had gone to work, so I was alone at home, she wouldn't come back until 1pm. A few months later he asked me to buy some sex toys, I initially refused and was a little afraid, but then I agreed and bought my first vibrator. He always asked for videos and photos, or even for me to use the vibrator on a video call, as he always sent photos and videos and even did things on a call, I accepted. It turned out that I got sick, I couldn't walk, I felt a lot of pain, very strong cramps, I went to the hospital but it didn't help. I took some medication but none of it helped. Jonh was worried about me and asked me to go back to the hospital, which I did, but once again it didn't do much good. Then in December he asked me to buy another toy, but this time it would be a dildo. I was very afraid to buy it since I didn't have much privacy at home, but I bought it. When it arrived, he asked me to use it but I said I wasn't going to use it at that moment because I wanted to wash it first and then use it but my mother was in the living room so there was no way. He was extremely upset, he said that I had promised to use it the day I arrived and that he was tired from work and just wanted it to cheer him up a little. We argued a little and went to sleep.Cut to a few months later when he got a new job (he worked with his father), met some new people and completely changed. He became cold, distant, wanted everything his way or he would get upset and give me the silent treatment. Since then we started fighting almost every day, sometimes several times during the day. He always said he would break up with me if I didn't do what he wanted or the way he wanted, as I was "blind", so to speak, I always did everything. I don't want to go into too much detail but this but one thing you need to know is that during one of those fights he told me "welcome to hell". Since then everything has gotten worse. For me to achieve the minimum I had to do everything he wanted, how he wanted and when he wanted, in his time. If he wanted videos, I had to record them and send them to him, otherwise he He said he was going to break up with me or that he wouldn't talk to me until I sent the videos. I'm not a saint either, I often freaked out because of jealousy and when I saw that he had followed his ex I got really upset, because she was the only one who made me insecure, and he knew that. One thing I forgot to mention was that he told me at the beginning that he only followed some friends and family (he told me who was who and that if I wanted I could remove someone). Another thing I forgot to mention was that he's been in a group for a few years where his friends who are in that group always hit on him, he's kind of reciprocal with them. He never let me go there because according to him I wouldn't like the type of humor they have there... a group that sends a lot of videos and photos of naked women, women dancing.. But he refuses to leave because he "is already a long-time member there, and his friends are there", in his words. Coming back, he told me that he only followed her because she followed him first and I told him that if she followed him it was because he unblocked her, he was upset that I said that and blocked her again. Some time later I returned to the hospital with some urgency as I was unable to cope with the pain, I needed to stay there overnight whilst receiving medication. He wasn't happy about it at all since that meant there would be no videos or photos. The doctors asked me to do some tests as quickly as possible to try to find out the cause of this pain, which they thought was the kidneys (but it wasn't).This meant I had to leave the house and go to the clinics to schedule exams and take them. He was never happy when I needed to leave the house or when I went out with my family. Cut to a time later when we broke up (my initiative) and I put all the toys in the trash. He was super upset and we kind of talked back and forth (I know what many off you will think But I couldn't really break up with him. So he made me buy all the toys again. That is what happened. Well, I bought not only the toys but also some lingerie. He really liked that and it seemed like we were finally okay. But it didn't last long. Soon we fought again and broke up, once again I put everything in the trash, he came back, he forced me again Buying but he was the one who bought the things. He continued to force me to record the videos and send them to him. During this time of ending the relationship and coming back, ending the relationship and coming back, I called his friends to ask for help. John was super upset with this attitude of mine. He told me that I made a mistake and broke his trust. Then time passed and he went on a trip with his family when he returned home, it was on a day when there was a party in his city and his friends were going. When he got home he told me and said he was going to sleep. I was suspicious so I went to look at his friend's profile and guess what? His friend had just post a story where John appeared. Same t-shirt, same cap. The same face. Obviously I confronted him about it and he told me it wasn't him because he was sleeping at home. I didn't believe it but leave it behind. At this point, my best friend couldn't take it anymore, almost every day of me crying to her about John and his actions. A few weeks went by and I asked his friend if it was really John or not, he said no (I believe he was covering it up.So he went to get a tattoo, on his neck. When it was over he went to sleep. I don't remember that day well but I remember that I called him many times that night and when he answered I heard moaning.. so I hung up and told my best friend. I called again and again and when he answered I heard the sound of a car. I was devastated, I couldn't believe it. The next morning he freaked out at me, and said he was sleeping. First he said that his mother had answered the phone, then he said that he had answered the phone and that the moans were his because of the tattoo. I pretended this situation hadn't happened and we moved on. (note: I was emotionally dependent on him) Cut to January of this year, when he asked me to open up the relationship as this wasn't working. I said no, and that in my view it was like cheating but without the burden of conscience. So he continued to treat me badly. He admitted that when he first started treating me badly it was only because he wanted me to break up with him. (he thought traumatizing me and triggering me was a good idea) He told me he didn't want me to see his Facebook so I wouldn't see his relatives' profiles. When I asked about some people he followed that he had already said were cousins, he said that they were friends or that he didn't know that his friends had asked him to follow them and sending messages to them. When I followed someone he always freaked out and asked who he was over and over again, for example: I followed someone, John saw it and sent me a message asking who it was, I replied "he's a friend of mine" Then John would go on "who is he?" and again "who is he?" and again and again... Two months ago he said he wanted some time, I said very badly, he said it could be but that we wouldn't be with other people nor would there be flirting with other people. He agreed. But then we got into a big fight where he threatened me with a lawsuit, he didn't give me reasons or anything, he just said he was going to sue me. I insisted on knowing why he only said he was going to have to pay him a high price and I would probably go to prison. So for the next 3 days this was our topic of conversation, him threatening me, me crying, and asking why. Then I reached my limit On the day of the last lawsuit threat, I told my mother about him, the way he treated me and that I wanted a new cell phone number.(She didn't know, I never told her about him. Although he tried to contact her a few times. But I blocked him) So we went to buy a new contact for me, as he couldn't call me or get in touch with me anywhere. He asked some people to call my mother and my friends. My friends were talking to me and sending me screenshots of everything, so someone sent him the link to our group and he went in there and found out my new number. I was weakened when my friend told me that he was crying and that he told him that he loved me and that he was afraid of losing me. So I said okay I could talk to him. He told me some things like that he was sorry for making me suffer. I tried to understand his side. We came back. But I told him that the first thing he did I would leave. I did not go. And I regret it. He was never affectionate, or cute with me again. He continued to force me to send him photos and videos. And doing what he wanted. He was upset when I left. He didn't like me posting full body photos or showing more. Whereas he could go around shirtless, send shirtless photos to his group, post shirtless photos online. Once he published a photo of a photo with his cousin and hid it from me so I wouldn't see it (I knew he was going to this party, he had told me, it was a family party) Since then, I went to lawyers to ask for advice. One of the people I managed to talk to, as it was online and free, told me to contact the police and that what he was doing was wrong. Every time I ask him something he gets upset and says they are useless questions, that I'm stupid, I don't understand anything. Whenever he forces me to record something, he never sends anything. He always says he's tired, But if his friends ask him to go out or go to dinner or do anything, he'll go, even if he's tired. This is it. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm really afraid that he'll do something, after so many threats, and all the lies. I have the support of my family and friends. I'm sorry if there are some mistakes, I used the translator and tried to explain more or less all the information you should know. Please be friendly.

As the world faded away into nothing but a dark void, Tom felt the only mildly familiar sensation of magic flowing like a gentle stream. It wasn’t much of a draw, but it was certainly noticeable.
“Right, best make this quick then,” he tried thinking to himself, feeling the flow peak as he did.
“Who is this? Make what quick?” an ethereal sounding female voice replied. It did sound a bit like how he remembered Joelina sounding. Though she did not exactly sound calm.
“Uhm… Hello? Anyone there?”
“Yes hello. Who is this? What must be done quick? Answer me at once!”
“It’s Tom… Is that you, Joelina?”
“Yes of course it is! Stupid dragons taking ages, I have questions for you! So many questiiioooonssss...”
“Yeah I figured that… Fire away I suppose.” Tom replied a little uncertainly as to just what he might be in for.
“Firstly! Did you read the letters?”
“I did yeah…”
“Disregard them, I have learned much since they were written! So much more yes, cursed blessed knowledge…”
“So you do know we have gone to space then?”
“What? No, I re-experienced the memory you had of the movie about the moon mission. It was evident on the second watching that it was trickery of the eye! Spaceflight is but a myth!”
“Riiight.”
“Then how have your kind visited space? And what of the gods above!? it was evident that the woman with the crystals was but a fraud!” Joelina explained with all the calm and restraint of a shoppingmall Karen
“Well the rockets to the moon, that did happen.” Tom attempted, doing his best to remain calm and diplomatic. “The movie you saw was probably a recreation… Tell me, did things go wrong on that trip but they made it home anyway?”
“Yes, do you know of what I speak? Ahr what am I proclaiming! of course you do it is your own memories, how could I forget.”
“Yea…, you watched a movie about Apollo 13 I think. Good movie, and that all happened too. Like for real happened”
“I see…” Joelina replied, sounding rather unstable. “And what of the gods?”
“We ain’t got any. Well not in space at least.”
“Impossible!”
“No, quite possible. Many still believe in gods though, but let’s not get into that too much. It’s a right old mess.”
“No, you must tell me what happened to the gods? Have they left you?”
“Well some think so, but no. I just think it all works a bit different for us. They might be a little more hands off.”
“But the churches… and these religious warriors you did battle with,” the inquisitor all but muttered to herself, sounding like she was struggling to put pieces together. “Do Jesus and Islam fight for power then? no no, they would have long since lost the battles to the ancient gods of war the teachers spoke of… though why they were always naked eludes me yeeees…”
“No, again we don’t really have gods just floating around... Could we please talk about something else? Or is that all you wanted to know?” Tom tried, hoping he really didn’t have to dive deeper into that particular subject.
“No no don’t you dare cut me off! I have seen what you talked of, nuclear fire and missiles, ships of the oceans and planes soaring in the skies. But is it not all fake? Surely it must be! It must be? It must be…”
“I don’t know what you saw… but we have ships sailing around. If you’ve ever seen flying ships like you have here then that’s fake I can assure you of that. We do have airships, but they look more like really big long balloons.”
“But we could make such vessels, or someone could from times past. If you can visit the moon then surely you can make a ship for the skies!”
“No no, we ain’t got grav oil. Or dragon essence as I guess it’s called. That means no anti gravity, and that means weight is a very very big problem for anything you wanna make fly. Planes and helicopters are how we fly. Remember how I flew to Afghanistan on a big ass plane? Or when I learned to parachute later?”
“What is parachute? is it the ham from your times doing, vacationing? what has dried meat products got to do with flying machines of battle!”
“Wooo easy now easy. I guess you didn’t get that far yet. Uhm. It’s a cloth kite you dangle from and then glide to the ground. Very good fun.”
“A cloth kite used to fly?... such strange inventions. Wait was there not a movie of with something of that nature? yeeee… there was a song. I liked that song… something something brains upon his chute. Yeesss…”
“Yeah… You’ll know it when you see it. I have one actually.” Tom clarified trying not to get too weirded out.
“You must demonstrate on a suitable occasion.”
“Yeah… I do have a question too though,” Tom replied, letting silence reign for a short time. “...Your last letter was in Danish.”
“Oh, uhm yes. I- I was having some difficulty separating what was real and what was not… I still am. Do not tell Glazz, she musten know the truth yet. She seeks to limit my excursions.”
“You’ve ended up like I did, have you?”
“No no no, the effects do indeed recede as expected, everything is in good order… But I had to know more. So so much moooore.”
“Maybe you should cool it a bit. You never know when a brain snaps. Or how,” Tom tried, confident his advice would be ignored.
“There is not time!”
“And why is that? How is it going in our beloved Inquisition?”
“Mind your tongue, human! Things are progressing, but so are our enemies. Infiltrators have been caught, traitors within our ranks are making their moves. The reemergence of Rashan, attacks on mines, keeps and a daring heist attempt at a Royal Guard fortress! The game is afoot, we cannot delay.”
“You can’t overreach yourself either. Weren’t you supposed to be winning over the rest of the inquisition right about now? Can’t do that as a gibbering mess.”
There was silence for a while more after that. “Glazz sent you a letter? What did it say?! You may not keep secrets from me- wait not… I should confiscate her arm… she cannot write with her left. Yes far better plan, avoid upsetting him. And fill her pen with invisible ink. Yes very good.”
“No, it’s just obvious to any idiot. But what about winter, won’t things slow down?”
“They should, yet as autumn progresses it has only been picking up. I hope they too are running out of time… But time for what? I must know what they are planning. They might be behind schedule. But what SCHEDULE! sorry…”
“Well you’re not gonna find the answer to that in my memories, now are you?”
“You were sent by someone. You are here for a purpose. I must know this purpose. It will help me understand. The puzzle is large and much of the box kept from me.”
“As far as I’m concerned, I’m here to help you guys get in gear. That’s a decades to centuries long sorta problem, not a couple of years. Sounds like this war will be in the couple of years category.”
“Then why now? Why did you arrive now?!”
“Shitty luck? Sounds like 10 years ago would have been a lot better… Oh on that note, did you hear? We found something down below.”
“No, Paulin would have told me.”Joelina dismissed, he could almost feel her turning her snout up and away from him.
“Well we opened the vault like 3 days ago,” Tom replied, quite surprised Paulin hadn’t said anything. “Wait yeah she can send you messages, no? She sent the message about what we wanted to buy too, didn’t she?... How did she do that by the way? Why didn’t you just have her ask me questions?”
“That is not for you to know, and this is not for her.”
“Really? More secrets still? Come on, tell me or I’ll let you think flying whales exist.”
“I know those are not real. If they were, you would have harvested them long ago! likely for some deranged snack… or facial decoration.”
“True, but you get the idea,” Tom persisted, feeling like this was something worth pushing for. Why would Paulin not have let her precious Joelina know?
“Very well. This does not leave your mind… In the name of, what was it called… camaraderie. Paulin is in possession of joined paper. Messages may be written down and read by anyone with similarly joined paper. Unsecured. Originally believed to be fore love letters… dastardly studs and wenches using perfectly good magic for such trivialness… simply tie the message to a rock and throw it though the window. Most peasants cannot even afford glass” Joelina trailed off, seemingly zoning out once more.
“You have magical paper that can relay written information… and you don’t fucking use it!?” Tom explaimed, not quite believing what he was hearing.
“No, we do not know how to make freshly bonded paper… only more linked to all other paper in existence…” Joelina agreed. He could almost feel her looking at the floor in shame. “But it is not as if you are infallible, why did you not bring one of these radios?”
“I uhm…”
“Why didn’t you?!”
“I forgot,” Tom admitted, thinking back to his packing days. Of all the things that could have proven useful, that one might have been his biggest blunder.
“For the love of all that is holy! You are our saviour?!” Joelina scolded, understandably so, but still.
“Hey I never claimed to be smart!”
“I have lived your dreams. That is a lie! You very much claim to be smart!”
“Fuck off, I know you are just a scared little insecure girl.”
“She died 30 years ago!”
“Well I haven’t gotten to that bit yet!”
“What in the devils do you mean?” Joelina questioned calming right down in a fraction of a second.
“I’ve only had like three proper dreams about you… wait no, not like that,” Tom blurted out as it clicked just how wrong that sounded. Joelina didn’t seem to care in the slightest though.
“Three? That is it!?” going right back to outrage.
“Yeah… Wait, how many have you had?” Tom questioned. He rather wanted to know just how much she might know about him in addition to the memories she had already picked through when inside his head.
“Several a day!” the inquisitor exclaimed in reply.
“Okay, I can see how that would drive someone a bit mad.”
“I am not going mad!”
“Did Glazz say the same thing?” Tom questioned, quite certain he was striking a nerve.
There was no reply for quite some time, Tom feeling the headache growing as things grew tranquil once more. He could feel his breath. It was rapid, and his heart was pounding. He probably shouldn’t do this for much longer. Thus he endeavored to break the silence.
“You probably should listen to her you know.”
“No! These matters are above her station!”
“Hasn’t she been in the Inquisition longer than you?”
“She has yes. But she is no inquisitor. She is a body guard.”
“Seems like she is a wee bit more than that,” Tom pushed on. He didn’t yet know how those two came to stick together, but it was clear they had been working together for decades by now. All the way since she was assigned to Harvik
“Mind your own matters, human.”
“Very well, don’t think I can keep this up anyway.”
“We have barely been chatting! Where do the dogs come from?!”
“Selective breeding for thousands of years. But I’m gonna go. Take a break, do what Glazz says… even if Jacky hates her.”
Yet more silence followed that, though it was brief and Joelina was the first to speak again.
“Fine! In the interest of cooperation I shall let you rest. Wear the earring at all times, I shall be contacting you again soon.”
“I think I’m gonna be the judge of that. I’ll put it on when I feel like it.”
“You will do as I say!”
“You need a nap and a bit to calm down. I’ll give you three days. Around noon. See yah… How do I get this thing off?”
“I’m not telling you,” Joelina grumped like a little girl. She really didn’t seem quite like herself at all today. She had been the spitting image of restraint and arrogance before. The arrogance was still there, but the restraint had certainly gone.
“Come on, do I just try to cut off the magic or is that a bad idea?”
“If you answer a question I might answer.”
“Right then… Gimme gimme gimme aaaa-”
“JUST CUT IT! Farewell!” she called out loud enough Tom’s head pulsed and then there was blissful silence once more.
“Hehe. That did the trick, right concentrate on that funny feeling aaan-”
__________________________________________________________________________________
After dinner had been rounded up, Dakota had given a brief address as to some of the news received. There wasn’t much that hadn’t already made the rounds at the tables during the dinner itself. The war had been expanding, recruitment had started in full in the cities, and if not for the rather special situation at Bizmati they could have expected their banners to get called by spring.
Rumors had it that the kingdom was preparing itself for counterstrikes the following spring, which meant training through the winter for many volunteers.
“And a lot of not so volunteers,” Fengi muttered as Dakota carried on with the address.
“You can say that twice. At least the street rats might get something to eat and a place to sleep,” Tirox the trader escort added.
“I suppose that is true. Not a bad deal in winter time… I might even have taken it.”
“But we must instead keep our minds on our home,” Dakota carried on, talking to the whole hall. “There can be no mistake, we will be a target. We will be ready. They are getting bolder by the day it seems. It is not impossible they may attempt to take our keep before the winter comes. Or perhaps they will be waiting for spring. It is equally clear their forces are spread thin. We will weather such assaults, I have no doubt. But we must keep training. We must keep vigil. We cannot afford to be surprised or outmatched. I know you will all do your best. And tonight, we have no less than 4 dragons here. So breathe easy, have your snacks and your drinks. If the weather holds soon we will be finished with the warehouse and then we may make final preparations for winter. It is sure to be an interesting one for once.”
The hall replied with a half-discordant cheer, not overly enthusiastic unlike what Dakota had likely envisioned. The talk of them possibly getting attacked even before the snow came wasn’t really that encouraging. But Dakota tended to speak her mind, and she was probably right. Bizmati keep would be a damn tough nut to crack. And to Dakota’s credit she did seem to recognize she hadn’t really managed to rile them up.
“Didn’t you hear me?” she tried again in a slightly more humorous tone. “Eat, drink, and have fun! And put those tables together, don’t want you brooding in your corners.”
That did get a bit more of a reaction, as well as some good humored chuckles. People started getting up and set about moving the tables closer together.
It was a little rude to split up their guests in the same way as they normally did. Saph carried one of the benches over to the new spot, glancing around for any sign of Maiko, but there was no sign of him anywhere.
Feeling a little miffed, she sat down with the others as Ray came back with one of the small kegs of cider looking very excited. “We should have a taste, right?”
“Oh yes please!” Pho called out, Essy giving her a slight slap on the wrist.
“This one is only for those who paid for it. You will have to do with whatever you bought. Or the ale I’m sure they intend to serve.”
“Aww man. Not even a sip?”
“Okay, maybe a sip,” Essy relented. “Oh, I should get Koko his gift.”
“You got him a gift?” Saph questioned with mirth in her voice.
“Of course, that is what people do for each other… you did get Maiko something, right?”
Saph felt her expression slip a little as she prepared to disappoint their chief people person. “No, not really…”
“All that money and you didn’t get him shit? That’s cold girl,” Pho laughed, clearly finding it hilarious.
“Oh shut up, not as if I got something for Unkai either,” Fengi added, springing to Sapphire’s defence, though it seemed like the delivery had Fengi second guessing herself as well.
Esmeralda did look a little saddened by the news, but she was far too nice to say anything. Tirox however had no such filter.
“Oh don’t worry about it, just gotta go with a different sort of gift.” The diminutive guard laughed heartily at his joke. Udanti found it quite funny as well, and Pho certainly loved it. Bo just shook her head a little and went back to a small puzzle of some sort she had been working on, on and off, for most of the dinner by now.
“So uhm… One mug each?” Ray questioned, having been left hanging at the keg.
“Oh yes sorry, just the one, this stuff is expensive,” Saph replied, holding out her mug, Ray pushing it back down.
“One moment.” And she produced a wooden mallet and one of the metal taps. It looked like one of Raulf’s, so it was probably old as faded dragonscales.
Ray gingerly placed it against the cork and raised the mallet as the table fell silent in anticipation.
With a whack the tap went in clean with hardly a drop spilled, and Ray breathed a visible sigh of relief. “Right there we go.”
There was a quick round of cheers from the table, and Ray started pouring servings.
“Oh got yours open, have you?” the voice of Balethon came as the guard came walking up to the table, mug in hand and lizard on shoulder. “You all know we are gonna have to work out who got the better stuff, right?”
“Oh does it always have to be a competition with you, Balethon?” Saph questioned. She had just wanted to enjoy the cider.
“Look who is talking… And yeah of course we do! Just think of the bragging rights.”
Ray didn’t look too thrilled, nor did any of the girls who had actually paid for the keg. The rest of the table seemed to think it was a brilliant idea, even as Balethon’s voice carried and heads started to turn as people started to mingle between the now closely together tables.
“I’ll be the independent adjudicator!” Tirox declared, not receiving much attention as the full mugs started to get passed around. “Oh come on. I’ll be fair!”
“Shut it pipsqueak, you’ll end up taking 10 rounds of tastings before you make up your mind,” Udanti scolded, though in good humor.
“I might…” the guy relented, looking to Balethon. “Ey, by the way. Did you teach the brainlet any tricks?”
“Sure, Skitters can do a few things.”
“Aside from chasing the food?”
“You know what I think he might yeah,” Balethon replied sarcastically, gently tapping the static lizard twice on the head. The lizard didn’t do much save skitter about on his shoulder to face Balethon’s head, one eye pointing in whichever direction.
‘That thing just looks so dumb,’ Saph thought to herself as Ray handed her a mug. “Oh thank you.”
“Okay, Skitters. Up,” Balethon went, raising a claw into the air as if he wanted the lizard to jump. Or perhaps stand up. “Up… come on.”
There was no reaction from the lizard aside from it jerking to the left a bit, possibly having spotted a fly or something.
“Weeeell obedience might need some work,” Udanti chuckled. “Have you tried with some food in your hand?”
“Sure, then he just tries to eat the hand. Come on, Skitters. Up!” Balethon tried again, doing the gesture once more. And this time the little lizard jumped into the air. The little legs stretched out, taking its pitiful excuse for wings with it, and it half-fell half-glided to the floor where it hit with all the grace of a 6 year old on his first lesson. The slightly fat lizard bounced once, then rolled over twice before coming to a stop, looking around confused.
“Aaayyy! That’s a good boi,” Balethon went, going to pick it up again before someone stepped on it or it ran off under the tables. “And now you get a treat.” True to his word Skitters was fed a small piece of something or other which it seemed quite happy to snap up.
Fengi leaned in to whisper to Saph. “Was that the trick or did it just get sick of staying there?”
“I have no idea,” Saph replied, holding up her mug. “Cheers though.”
“Cheers,” Fengi replied as they clinked mugs.
“Oh hang on now, wait for me,” Essy protested as Ray finished pouring her mug and started on her own, looking to the girls as she questioned “Oh, also what about Jacky? Should we wait for her?”
“Who knows how long that will take?” Fengi replied, holding her mug impatiently.
“I’m sure she won’t mind. She is with Tom. We’ll let him have a mug as well,” Essy added with a reassuring nod, looking up to the high table. “Oh but we are missing Lin!”
“Oh right yeah she paid too… I can’t remember, did Edita chip in?”
“I don’t think so,” Sapphire replied, shaking her head as Essy got up to go fetch Linkosta. Balethon decided to take her place, a big grin on his face.
“So what else is going on over here?”
“Oh not much, hellooo little guy,” Pho went, trying to give skitters a scritching. In exchange he tried to eat her finger. “Oh… I mean I guess it doesn’t hurt.”
“Oh yeah, he can’t hurt a fly… well he can, but nothing more.”
“Shame he won’t get any bigger either,” Udanti added, nodding sagely. “Would have made a good rat hunter.”
“Nah… toe hunter though. Also where is the ale at?”
“Oh Raulf and Wiperna are getting ale and some of the bubble beer.”
“What is bubble beer?” Udanti questioned, tilting her head.
“Oh you’ll love it,” Saph interjected, waiting patiently as she saw Essy and Linkosta returning to the table out of the corner of her eye. “It’s an ale but it’s all fizzy.”
“Riiight… I’ve heard of fizzy beers before.”
“Oh yes, but this one is so much more fizzy.”
“It’s light and almost springlike.”
“Light ale? You mean for kids?”
“No no no. Just trust us it’s good.”
“Right right, I trust you,” the archer replied, looking to Essy and Linkosta, who seemed to be looking for a place to sit. “Should we not just put two end to end rather than this scrunching up business?”
“Yeah we should… Right get the craftsman table over here then. We don’t wanna have to smell the guards,” Saph called out, holding up her mug.
“Hey! That was uncalled for,” Balethon protested as Ray passed a mug to Linkosta. The girls all raised their mugs and had a sip, not willing to wait any longer. They all smacked their chops a little, looking down at the golden liquid. It was slightly fizzy too… and it tasted like the brew of the gods themselves. Ray was looking at them all visibly tense with anticipation and perhaps a twinge of fear.
“Ray… You have not disappointed,” Saph declared, nodding her approval, a smile creeping onto her face once more.
“Oh this is the best drink I think I’ve ever had,” Fengi added, taking another gentle sip.
Ray looked visibly relieved, her expression changing to one of ecstasy as she too took a sip herself. “Oh it’s even better than I remember. I’m glad you liked it.”
“Like it?! I love it!” Fengi cheers, Essy giving an appreciative nod to Ray before looking to Lin.
“Sooo?”
“It’s very good… Do you think we could try and cool it down a little? Imagine this cold.”
“It is often served cold, yes,” Ray confirmed, nodding her assent.
“I’ll go get the powder!” Saph called out, getting up. “I have got to try that.”
__________________________________________________________________________________
The strange ethereal world that had seemed so all-consuming started to quickly fade. Holes grew as light and reality started seeping in, sounds and noise starting to build around him. “Oom-Tom… Tom, are you okay?” came the familiar voice of Jacky as his eyes shot open and he blinked a few times as he returned to reality proper.
“Yeah yeah, I’m here… That is trippy, but hey, I think it worked.”
“How many fingers?” Jacky questioned, holding up her hand.
“4. Clear as day.”
“Pheeew. Okay look around, anything strange?”
Tom obeyed, sitting up a bit straighter and glancing about the room. “Nnnnn, nope all good. Just like last time I used one of these.”
“Right, good. Now what did she say?”
“Oh a bunch of stuff… mostly we chatted a bit about how she’s going a touch mad. Even Glazz thinks she’s falling apart at the seams apparently. She was also not happy I wanted a break.”
“Oh don’t tell me you have to do this every day from now on?”
“I said she had 3 days to get ready to try again. Hopefully she’ll have her case worked out by then.”
“Here’s to hoping… also how is your head? Does it hurt?”
“A bit, it’ll go away I’m sure.”
“Right,” Jacky replied, looking at him skeptically. “If it gets worse, tell me. But dinner was served a while ago I think. And I’m hungry.”
“Me too, let’s go.”
__________________________________________________________________________________
Well then, Joelina got her chat. She seems fine... I am sure she will continue to be a steadfast ally, within the walls of the inquisition for many weeks to co- I mean years, definetly years.
As always I hope you enjoyed the chapter, if not you know who to blame. I promise I won't cry to much if you tell me what was wrong... I promise.
Not really any news, other than fuck me I'm a busy boi, luckily I found the time to keep up with the writing yet, hopefully things will quet down soon so I can get back to begin a bit further ahead.
Untill next time, take care
Wiki and Art Gallery If you can't remember who someone is, want to read any of the side stories of fanfiction, or you just wanna watch some of the cool art that's been made for the story. Patreon If you want to help get more cool shit made consider joining the Patreon, you also get chapters two weeks ahead of time. HoH Subreddit if you want more stories from the HoH universe or are interested in writing something for this funny little world. Discord if you wanna have a chat about the story or just hang out First Previous

Friday: the most horrible day in my life until that moment
Saturday: somehow even worse
Sunday: got up from bed. Eat a little. Went to church and took a shower
Monday: (today) it's a living hell.
For me:
-angry: at me, at him, and at everyone
-annoyed: with this situation and with myself
-Disgusted: everytime I look my self in the mirror. I can't stand being naked
-humilliated: I feel like everyone in the streets knows what happened and looks at me not with pity, but they think I'm stupid and laugh at me
-guilt: this is my fault. I allowed this. I didn't realize it sooner. I provoked this. I caused this. I'm not enough
-fear: I'm feeling lost, I lose track of time.
-headaches that turns into full migraine episodes. And they are constant. They last hours. More than 20 hours last time I checked.
-nausea: I want to vomit all the time
-lost of appetite: since then I have only eat 2 quesadilla (small one on Sunday) and a couple bites of bread (because my coworker made do it)
-nightmares: I cannot sleep for more than 2 continues hours, I wake up in the middle of the night and I cannot fall back asleep. Today I sleep 4 hours en two separate episodes.
-intrusive thoughts: flash backs of d day, fake scenarios, they together, our happy times
-my period is late by one day, I'm regular as a clock but I'm guessing it's too much stress for my body to handle
-such a deep sense of injustice: he is living his best life, while I'm spiraling into madness
-crying spells: randomly I start to cry and it's very difficult to put myself together
-Everything reminds me of him: stupid bike, a stupid bottle of water of certain brand, some music people is playing without knowing, a tattoo, everything
-missing him. But once again not the monster he turned out to be.
What can I do? Today I start therapy. Pain killers for headaches just won't help, I tried all and nop.
What are the baby begging steps? Routine? Ok I'm trying, journaling? I feel disgusted and angry at the idea of writing about him in such a graphic way as paper in my hands. Talk about it? Done and done What should I eat? I'm just not hungry. What should I do all day after work? I walk my dog but I get angry at him. My car is on repair so I cannot go freely anywhere, also I feel like I am not aware enough to drive. Watch TV? I cannot focus and I would like to link my favorite tv shows to this experience. Read, listen post cast etc? Done
My head is killing me. Hurts too much

After taking some time to let the call sink in, I'd just like to say that Sumit has my full support. I do not want anyone else in the driver's seat, and I believe him when he said he stays personally committed. Tdelo has helped me focus on the meat and not on tone. Having said that, I don't think Sumit sounded defeated or defensive/frustrated. I think he acknowledged the road ahead, and I really appreciate the color. I certainly don't feel misled, and IMO, those who do feel that way need to pay closer attention to what is actually going on in the sector(especially the macro aspects). This is a huge negotiation with many working parts, and Sumit has to be careful what he divulges and can't just blame OEMs. I find that kind of understanding crucial for this investment. I think he navigated that well. I've paid close attention to every call, and I'm satisfied with what he has said and how he has said it.
This is going to take time and resources, and anyone looking for a quick buck needs to come to terms with that. For example, I've been waiting a very long time for Nvidia to catch up to their massive delay in ADAS. I know what they have said over the years, and I've met some people who have worked with/for them, and I haven't exactly enjoyed what I've found or what was relayed to me. The stock has still done well in the face of these delays, partly due to other verticals. I do believe that part of their recent success is due to ADAS though, because it will be one of the first examples of AI scaling outside the data center. MVIS'S edge computing IP will enable these platforms/industry 4.0 better than any other lidar company. I have been very impressed with Qualcomm and have been trying to shift more of my focus to them. I still love Nvidia, and I still think Qualcomm/Nvidia/Intel will make a play for a lidar company. I think MVIS, INVZ, and LAZR stand the best chances of a favorable buyout.
I've been galavanting around Europe for a few awhile now. It's hard to worry about price action while I'm having so much fun. I'm honestly humbled at how many people have reached out via DM to get my opinion on the call/situation. Sorry, I've ignored yall, I just needed more time to listen to the other calls and gather my thoughts. The other level-headed Bullish OGs have done a fantastic job breaking down the situation, and I support their opinions fully. The inner workings of these negotiations are as intense as I expected, and these OEMs have been acting just like I thought they would. I've been researching them for a long time, so im really not surprised. I've been warning about this here for a long time. The macroeconomic factors play a huge role and reiterate what I've learned. Again, please read the ZF 2023 yearly report for context. Do the work if you are nervous.
I still love the stock and tech, as VOR has explained. I really want to thank the OGs who have been patiently answering everyone's real/fake concerns. I appreciate those with valid concerns. I simply do not have the patience or tolerance for some of the sealioning, so im very grateful that you OGs do. That's the point, to wear us down and push management to take bad deals at the expense of the shareholders. I've seen what that has done to AEVA/CPTN etc. Their management couldn't care less about their shareholders, and there is a night and day difference between them and Sumit.
I absolutely still believe in a short squeeze and kinda laugh at those saying it can't happen. They have no clue and were completely wrong several times in the past... I know who many of the bad actors are, and I personally think they are terrible at hiding themselves. I called the singapore thing before the reddit yearly review, btw. The newer slingers are putting in a little more effort, but again, they are way too obvious. 51m shares short, and IMO millions upon millions sold naked overseas through alternative trading systems with terrible oversite. I believe that volume will eventually resolve one day just like it did before. If I have blocked you, it's for good reason. If I have nothing to learn from you, or I believe you are a bad actor, I'm blocking. Don't respond to my posts outside of my post so that the people I block and can spew their nonsense. Weird irrelevant responses will also get you blocked.
To me, it's obvious that there are hired guns brought in to wear down sentiment for a possible lowball offehostile merger of some kind. That's what I would do if I were a big tech company. The auto OEMs are deeply in bed with the big tech companies. After discussing it with numerous IP attorneys, they agree with many of my concerns and told me all about how/why it goes down. One in particular knows all about MEMS, so we were able to dig into patent claims together for a bit. I also had a long talk with some people from Ropes and Gray, NY. Their Boston office is the one who helped MVIS/MSFT keep the April customer contract under wraps when the SEC wanted more info. Obviously, I have no insider info ever, but it gives me some insight into the way things work and why. This is incredibly valuable to me. I have made it a point to use my connections and find these people and chat, and it has opened doors for me in some crazy ways. I've flown around the world to gain insight into my investments. IMO, we are in for a huge battle.
Ok, back to the call haha... I felt it was pretty decent. 7 RFQs and more in the potential pipeline. MVIS and several other companies have indicated that the demand for lidar is still very real and large-scale. All of the ADAS out there failed the recent highway tests and are nowhere near ready or safe. Cameras and radar alone are not even cutting it for level 2/2+.
I'm excited to learn more about the ARM chip, but I understand there is always a good reason Sumit doesn't talk about what's inside too much. IMO he gives too much info. His wafer comments are important. Previous calls explained the importance of scaling, trade secrets, and active alignment. Dig into this if you can. It is one of the major reasons why MSFT came to MVIS in the first place for HL2.
It's unfortunate that MVIS and the trucking OEM couldn't come to terms, but the relationship hasn't soured according to Sumit, and I think that context is important. Obviously, the company needs sales to bridge the gap, and I think the industrial slow moving giants could provide that. Please look into my posts on this by using the search bar along with my name. I've posted a ton of info on why edge computing/machine learning lidar will play a significant role in industry 4.0.
The cash burn always needs to be addressed. Even though MVIS is one of the better companies in the industry, cuts had to be made. IMO MVIS has always been far ahead of the sectors they are involved in. Many times to their own detriment. But this is also why the tech is so unique. MEMS is and will be absolutely massive. I attended the SEMI MEMS event at MIT last year, and it was blatantly obvious that the future is MEMS, and massive companies acknowledged this. MVIS is a master in their respective MEMS tech, and I'm very excited about what the future holds.
The cuts to sensor fusion could indicate a partnership in that area as other OGs pointed out. It's still incredibly important, and MVIS/Ibeo were thinking very long term with it as usual. While I want them to remain ahead in this area, I understand why the cash burn needs to be controlled better as they navigate the next few years. I have a feeling it will be addressed further in the future.
The 7 RFQs excite me, and I know there will be plenty more. IBEO and MVIS both know why you can not take unsustainable partnerships, and i support them saying no in order to focus on the big ones. I think Luxoft and Mosaik will still bring in some proper revenue, and that partnership is huge. I'm excited to learn more about their ongoing simulation efforts as well.
I still believe there is way more than what meets the eye going on with IVAS/DOD/ defense contractors. DXC(parent company to MVIS partner Luxoft) is involved in IVAS, and that should make you go hmmm. I still believe strongly in the MSFT/ANSYS connections and feel Judy Curran helped MVIS navigate the tier one landscape, among other things. All in all, I think the future is VERY bright for MVIS lidar and the NED vertical ;). Pay up MSFT.
Thanks for reading. These are obviously my opinions, and I'm not a financial advisor or anything like that.

I saw my ex on the street today and decided to call the police tomorrow... I have pressed a charge on him for domestic violence at 2022. After I decided to break up with him, at first he was acting understandingly ( turnt out that was his action of trying to get me back). After knowing it's impossible, he became a total different person. We had been together for 3 years and I never saw this part of him-read my diary to prove that I broke up with him is not because of another man, showed up naked in my room in the morning (we were still sharing the same apartment with two other friends as he said he needed 1 month to prepare to leave, stupid me that accepted this excuse), went to the living room table to sit next to me and said I should have sex with him one last time as we didn't have much sex during the relationship. And eventually he created a fake Linkedln account and sent empty Google drive link to my colleagues there saying it's my sex video. Then kept calling me bitch in the apartment. I called the police and pressed a charge on him. Due to the lack of evidence (no one heard the conversation he had with me in the living room table, no one saw he was naked in my room, and couldn't prove that the fake account was his and he wouldn't admit, only admitted that he stole my diary), so at the end the court didn't do anything to him. But the police said if he ever approached again, I could contact them. Though I doubt that they would do much about this. I feel insecure that he's living in my new neighborhood now and wonder if I could do anything about it. Seeing him reappearing made me recall all these and I feel all the pain and insecurity again. I thought about scaring him away so that he wouldn’t stay here and discover that I am around and decided to do something to me.

For context I am 35 M living in the UK.
Does anyone else feel this way? Or is it just me?
Everything just feels fake, I grew up just before the grip of smartphones, Instagram, TikTok and all of the other bullshit that's taken over.
They are just full of fake videos, fake people, fake affects, just meaningless crap with no sincerity behind it. People idolising videos of others filming themselves giving £100 to the homeless, calling them kind and hero's, whilst being completely oblivious to the obvious truth that they couldn't give a shit about the homeless person they are giving it to, but rather their only incentive is the followers and likes that it will bring them.
I just feel like it's breeding a generation of thick, selfish, image obsessed vienal idiots with no respect or manners. Everyone is so image obsessed, it seems like it's the only thing that matters. So many people just have no manners or respect.
I stopped to let a couple of girls cross the road yesterday (not a crossing - just gave way of own accord, wouldnt consider it bad manners not to say thanks if it were an actual crossing) and not one bothered to say thanks - this is a good 8/10 times now with people. They could only have been 10-12 years old, both dressed in skin tight skimpy clothes and half naked
Society is definitely in decline
Rant over

Hi Wagooners! This is my first review and it was a doozy! I hope I get the classic "well done you!" from the admins, but also let me know if I need to add more detail.
Today I am reviewing The Row’s Black Soft Margaux in 10” and 15” sizes, both in the more expensive leather, black smooth leather that is supposed to mark up and age nicely. As the title says, this review is 100% REP SCIENCE. Same bag, same model, different size, different factories, all from the same seller!
Author Expertise:
Fashion college graduate, 20 years in NYC, with good friends who are VP’S at top Fashion houses, including The Row. I have owned, borrowed, and touched many auths. I have owned a handful of reps. I have purchased reps on Canal Street (in early aughts), Panda buy (wegobuy), and lone wolf Reps in China.
I now full-time buy reps and not Auths because of the buyer's remorse. They just aren’t worth that much money and like a car, the value goes down once we walk out that door.
I tend to choose simpler designed bags, in easy to replicate colors, and I avoid hardware as much as possible. So, this brought me to The Row’s Margaux 10 and Margaux 15.
Disclosure (and interesting to note!):
Amelia, my seller, is aware I am doing this review, but did not give me any incentive (nor would i ever accept one!). I DID tell her that I intended to do a Wagoon Review (hoping that would help make sure she sends me the absolute best), which (I think) resulted in her bringing Other Factory into the mix to help promote OF. As I understand it, we think The Row is the latest line to be added to Other Factory.
Seller Contact:
Whatsapp Ameila. I chose Amelia because she checked off all the boxes for me: Fast Communication, no fluff or niceties, and I happen to prefer fast and direct people. Her packages tend to get to people faster than other sellers (when I did a deep dive reviewing the other sellers in this sub), she reps the best factories for the brands I like.

1. Paid 4.12.24
2. QC Photos: 4.25.24
3. Shipped 4.26.24
4. Arrived at my doorstep: 5.09.24

Price Paid for Item:

• Black Soft Margaux 10 = 1,140 CNY
• Black Soft Margaux 15 = 1,980 CNY
• Shipping = 980 CNY (BUT, this was for an order of FOUR total bags that ranged from medium to large size)
• Paid via wire transfer, but my bank connected to WISE automatically, one step click. I didn’t have to fill out all these forms or log into a wise account.

Factory:
Amelia automatically sourced from two different factories without asking me. She DID tell me after I wired the money. I decided to just “trust the process” and as one redditor in this group suggested to me “do it for the REP SCIENCE”. When I asked her if there was a difference in quality she said “very little”. When I did research of OF in our sub, I saw that it had a good reputation for their leather quality, but no review for THE ROW.

• The Row Margaux 10 - Kata
• The Row Margaux 15 - OF aka Other Factory

Quality of your rep from your factory:
Kata Factory Margaux 10
Leather: The leather is thick, but very very soft and will have a nice slouch over time, right now it feels sturdy in quality. Smells great, feels great, feels expensive..will break in nicely…if only I hadn’t also received Other Factory’s Margaux 15 on the same day!
Stitching: Clean stitching except one area. There is a knot, which seems small and inconspicuous enough, but I really hope it doesn't undo and unravel. We shall see.
Hardware: just “fine”, passable, but could be better. The feet had scratches after the first day (and didn’t take it out of the house). I wish the hardware were just about 30% heavier.
Overall finishing: The finish and brand stamps are good and clean. I saw in another thread showing a Margaux AUTH with messy edge finishing on the seams, so I made sure to take close attention to mine. There is one spot that has a white line that I can’t get rid of, but since it’s on the bottom, it doesn’t bother me. Inside pocket looks clean.
Lining: Perf, no complaints here.
Other Factory Margaux 15
Leather: When reviewers in this sub said the leather from this manufacturer was REALLY GOOD, they weren’t kidding. OF is the winner here. The leather seems much better oiled or conditioned. The leather is thick and sturdy-ish and will break in nicely and will no doubt have a good slouch.
Stitching: Clean stitching
Hardware: just “fine”, passable, but could be better. I wish the hardware were just about 30% heavier.
Overall finishing: The finish and brand stamps are good and clean. Edge and seam finishing is very clean and well done. Inside pockets and zipper are great.
Lining: I can’t tell if it’s just me, but the lining does not fit perfectly in once small section. This is me being nitpicky. To a naked eye and if I were to hand this to someone, they probably wouldn’t tell. But, with my fashion school eye, it’s not fitting perfectly.
ACCURACY:
Extra curricular: Good blog post on how to spot a fake The Row
Pics:
Rep vs Factory

• Margaux 10 - rep vs factory (Kata)
• Margaux 15 - rep vs factory (OF aka Other Factory)

Rep vs Auth

• Margaux 10 - rep vs auth
• Margaux 15 - rep vs auth

Additional Rep photos (different angles and details):

• Margaux 15 - Extra rep photos
• Margaux 10 - Extra rep photos

Dimensions:
Margaux 10:

• Auth Dimensions: 10 x 7 x 7.5
• Rep Dimensions: 10” x 7” x 7.26”

Margaux 15:

• Auth Dimensions: 15 x 11 x 9
• Rep Dimensions: 15.5” x 10.5” x 9.25”

Accuracy write-up:
I do not own the AUTH nor have I ever touched The Row’s Margaux. Based on countless auth Margaux reviews, here is a breakdown on both factory’s:
Leather: Other Factory wins this round, the leather is far superior to Kata’s. They both smell incredible, I can’t stop sniffing the smokey leather, it smells rich. I can’t compare the leather to the real thing since I haven’t held an auth, but from pictures and review videos, they both look the same.
Foil Stamp: Kata wins here - the foil stamp is supposed to be a bit faded, like the authentic version. Other Factory’s foil stamp has no fading, but since I like to beat up my bags, I don’t think it will be hard to wear in OF’s foil stamp. Other Factory’s stamped logo has a font that is slightly more spaced out, but nothing too noticeable and because i don’t have an auth in person to compare it to, it’s hard for me to say which factory wins here.
Handles push test (see blog post above): The authentic handles are supposed to be soft and pass the “push test” (again see the blog post above). Both handles are soft, but Kata wins here, as the handles are softer.
Edging: The edging is supposed to be “perfect” and skinnier than fakes, however we have seen a picture of an authentic Margaux with terrible edging, so I am less worried about this. However, when I inspected both, the edging width seems to be on par with an authentic version and there were no bumps or tears. This being said the Kata had a slight white line (a very small nick!) on the bottom of the bag, but so small that it doesn’t bother me and nobody will ever see it. I could easily cover it up, but I don’t care enough.
Metal hardware: I can say with confidence that both versions fail here. Don’t be deterred, I have yet to find a rep from any factory of any brand pass my metal test. Nothing is ever as substantial as the real thing. It looks to me that they have the same metal material and both set of feet have already gotten some subtle scratches. Both versions have their branded feet facing each other, the correct way. Other Factory’s versions, like their gold stamp, have a font that has a spacing that is slightly wider. Hard to notice, IMO and since I don’t have an auth to compare it to in person, hard for me to say who wins out here.
Lining: Both have good quality lining that is the same color as the auth, but because I haven’t held the auth, hard to say if they are 100%. I will say that the OF version’s lining isn’t perfectly fitted, but hard to notice and I wouldn’t care if a friend went through my bag because they would never notice.
Pockets & Zippers: The zippers are never as good as the auth and I am guessing the same here. However, since I think everyone should lower their expectations when it comes to reps, I think the zipper on the Margaux 15 is very decent. Margau 10 does not have a zipper. Pockets are great on both. Functional, fits a phone on the bigger one.
Dust Bags: Both dust bags look authentic, shape, label, and the wide ribbon (vs the more narrow ribbon NS store uses). That being said, they are the thinnest dust bags of all the dust bags I've ever had in my life, if this matters eve.
BONUS:
Other Factory wins this round! The leather is just better, slightly softer, slightly more oiled in. This being said, if I had only received the Kata factory version, I would have been over the moon and I am over the moon and as you see in my review, Kata wins in other categories.
Rep Satisfaction (required)
Very, very, very happy with both. I can't stop smelling both of them (they have that rich leather smell). They look close enough to the correct thing that I am wearing them out and about daily, without thinking about. IT DOES SCRATCH MY AUTH ITCH, I am just as excited, proud, obsessed with my bags as if they were Auths. The same feeling I remember from buying my Auths! The small discrepancies don’t bother me as I don’t think anyone would be able to notice them, unless it were a SA doing a very close inspection, bright lights, magnifying glass, and all.
Seller Satisfaction (required)
Very happy with the seller Amelia. I saw that Wagooners received items from Amelia within 2-4 weeks and this was true for me too. I know people complain about how Amelia is cold and to the point, but I find her to be really fast and to the point in her communications. She is efficient and I like her services so far. Without asking, she made sure to source from the best factories for quality. I am still a bit confused as to why she sourced two different factories, except to get the word out on Other Factory making The Row. And well done, Other Factory DOES make great Row Reps. I guess if you are from NY, NJ, Boston, Asia, Eastern Europe go with Amelia. If you are from the Southern US states, TX, or California, find another rep! There’s no pleasantries with Amelia!
The Wrap Up (required)

• I would wear these anywhere and show them to almost anyone. I would wear these to anyplace that sells The Row, however, I would not let a SA handle mine. The discrepancies seem small, for this style of bag. The measurements are ½” off here and there. The Row’s logo is so small, so while I am sure the logos are a tiny bit off, it doesn’t worry me. The leather is amazing, better than many of my auth brands. I haven’t handled the Row’s Margaux and wondered if they have a different weight or feel, but it’s good enough to me and it replicates the same sort of smooth, soft looking finish.
• WIMB Margaux 10 & 15
• Wear and Tear: I like to beat my bags up. That means put heavy stuff in them, wear them while I bike around town, hug them, wear them in the rain etc. I have only done this with the Margaux 10 (6 bike rides so far around town!) and it has held up well. No scratches, easy to clean off, rained on and fine

Me and my boyfriend officially decided to move in together in July. Since I was in middle school and my dad I thought was my bio dad wasn’t my relationship with them hasn’t been the same. If I go through something loosing friends , boyfriends it’s my fault. They never have my back, I could never have male friends without being called a hoe or slut. I have been sexually assaulted TWICE my mom blamed me and called me a liar.
Even since I graduated college they have been so controlling I’m 23 now, and me and my boyfriend are both making over 144,000 ( combined ) with almost $20,000 in savings. We have been hesitant and our jobs are stable but I think it’s time.
I am called a copayment by them I always take my sibling to practice , cook for the family wash the dishes ect… My dad has a 1950s mindset where women have their roles and he can do what he wants. My parents believe that they do not have to respect their kids, and I’ve been told ( this past Friday) I need to put their needs and concerns before my own priorities and relationship. I’m always called selfish or when I tried to go front them since middle school they act like they don’t know what I’m taking about or they always financially provided for me. Anytime there is a major life event that’s traumatic ( I left my old job because of mental abuse, hostile work environment , ect…) guess whose fault it was MINE ! I had documented proof , recordings and everything and they claimed they never knew this was going on and I TOLD them numerous times. When I got home that dad my dad yelled at me and said he can’t fathom why they would treat me like this and I had a whole mental breakdown and ran to my room and I was the one overreacting, just for him to not only NOT give me space but talk about how his life was worse than mine so my situation isn’t that bad.
Another point to make is I see my boyfriend once a week, we don’t live together and been together for 5 years, and he lives with his family as well. My dad claims I spend to much time with him and I don’t think for myself, keep in mind it’s different my parents are married and my dad doesn’t know how to clean, take care of me or my sibling, or even know how to parent without my mom .
My mother on the other hand lets him say all these things about me how I’m selfish because I want to work out and not always be responsible for my sibling, I’m weird because I like anime and I have mental issues, how I never was popular and not like other peoples kids , and he won’t even let me get my tires changed without his approval because apparently “I’m not capable without his help”. Ofc course I’m not oblivious and I do things on my own or my boyfriend assists me with giving me financial , mechanical advice ( he’s in finance and is into cars). And my father says my boyfriend is controlling and brainwashing me because I can’t do anything without my father helping me. Anyway my point of my mother she’s just as bad as my father talks about my body, says if my bf sees her naked he may leave me for her ( not true at al…) , instigated when I did not go to my cousins graduation party yesterday with my dad ( my cousin didn’t even attend my graduation or party) and she told my dad I always go to my boyfriend family functions which I hang out with his siblings wives because they’re my friends. And my dad doesn’t even visit to see my moms side of the family or my moms mom AT ALL she’s always doing whatever he wants. But I’m selfish and I see him only once a week sometimes twice ( Fridays) if he’s not working at his business on the weekends. Anyway she told me my dad was mad and she was like “ I told him you’re always seeing his family and going to his family functions. You’re fake and selfish “. So I decided to walk away. This happened yesterday.
Sorry if this story is all over the place there is so much that has happened and I wanted to give things that has happened as an idea as to what I should do? It’s going to be hard even though they have did so many things, I can’t even tell my mom anything without her blowing up or tiring into an argument and making me feel guilty. My dad is manipulative and when he tells at me or have an argument my mom doesn’t stand up for me or have my back. But when he tells at her she always expects me to have her back.
My thing is I need advice on how to do this because I’m over them we have good moments but it’s not healthy that when we argue I can never marinate , get space or deal with my emotions they force me to stay around them if I have a panic attack or episode. My mother’s having a surgery at the end of June and my dad doesn’t work during the summer ( a teacher ) and it’s always my responsibility , he doesn’t even take my sibling to practice . I just need reassurance that I’m making the right decision to move and how do I go about being no contact????

• Also I’m always forced to go to all my siblings games even when I’m tired and want time for myself I work full time*

If this talk is spreading around your workplace, let everyone know that if they decertify, you all must wait an entire year to vote to associate with a different union. So basically you're all flying naked for an entire year- an entire year for your employer to errode your benefits (including your pensions, if you have one), cut your pay, weed out your coworkers to their liking. A year of one sided decisions. Best believe that even short term raises and other carrots will be lost once the coast is clear.
In my experience in dealing with decertifications, workers think they can just change the name of their union and that will solve all their grievances.
In reality, what they needed to do all along was work together to strengthen their bargaining power and their ability to enforce their contract (organize themselves, in other words). That will be the case with whatever union you're a part of. It's pathetic that oftentimes the most amount of effort workers put into organizing is to vote out the union.
Edit: what inspired this post are the workplaces who have decertified only to realize later that they fucked up and lost what little protections they had to begin with, and then some. Historic conditions have led to no-raid agreements which mean that unions typically do not engage in multi ballot elections (where you can swap unions, keep your existing union, or decert completely).
I didn't mean to imply that unions could not be swapped immediately, given the correct legal steps. They can, especially with institutional help. Increasingly, union-busting "fake unions" as one commenter pointed out are the types of organizations who instigate and engage in these types of elections. My caution is that it largely isn't going to solve the issues that people think it will solve, and opens the door to a tremendous risk.
Thanks to everyone for the great discussion!

hi, my name is calypso and i use he/it pronouns. i'd like to be known that way and i don't wanna hear any homophobic shit, thank you. im 17 years old and my life has always been a living hell and when i say that, i mean it. i don't think anyone will read all of this and thats fine, i just wanna leave my story here, in case of dying. i was born into a completely rotten, dissfuncional family, with mother, older sister and my father. (my sister had a different father) since i was little, my older sister was extremely jealous of me, since my mother paid me attention, yet my mother used to beat my sister up terribly. often my sister ended up bloody in the corner of our living room. i was getting quite spoiled until i was around the age of 5 - thats when it all started. my father always said im mental, sick, retarted and my parents always got into heated arguments. around that age, i started to get verbally abused by my father. my father abused heavy drugs, cigs and alcohol, ever since i can remember. one day, my mother got really sick and had to stay in hospital for couple months, (she had some issue with her kidneys) so i ended up alone with my sister and father. they kidnapped me into germany, cut off contact with my mother, kept me locked in an apartment - i havent seen my mother for 7 months. in that appartment, terrible things happened - my father killed a guy infront of me, brought in people and beat them up, forced me to watch everything and even fucked with my underaged sister, right infront of me. thats also where first psychical abuse from my father and sister started (i was 6) - i was forced to kneel on shattered glass for hours, eat straight up salt, i was getting waterboarded, beaten up until i passed out, food and water restricted, burned, cut, etc. it went like this for nearly 2 years every single day, even after we returned home. when we came back from germany, my mother was completely changed - from a carring, sweet mother (at least towards me) she went to a cold, emotionless woman, who neglected me. my sister and father beat me up and my mother just stood there, watching it happen. my father got my sister pregnant at a very young age - thankfully, she got abortion but just the thought of it makes me sick. the day my mother and my sister left to the abortion clinic, my father raped me. i was 8, home alone with him and he was very pissed that my mother forced my sister to abort his baby - so he used me. it was absolutely terrible and i remember that i didnt understand what was happening. i was neglected, never taught about sex, consent or sexual assault - hell, i was too young to be supposed to know that. since i grew up watching my father doing this to people around me, i thought its normal, so i just let him do it to me. i never told anyone from our family. novody knows that it happened that day. thankfully, my mother got fed up with his shit and asked for divorce. my father kicked us out of our house, with nothing, my sister staying with him - my father and my sister started dating eachother. me and my mother ended up on the streets, with absolutely nothing and no one. thankfully, we found shelter home and thats where we lived for next 2 years. shelter home was fun, i made friends, there was this club for kids to play in - i liked it in here. i never got along with anyone in school - i was always too loud, too weird, too sensitive. i was getting bullied whole elementary school, whole 9 years - it was terrible. i was nearly 9, when one day i had to wash my hair but there was no warm water left, since there was restricted water for every room in the shelter home. so, my mother got an idea - she will heat up water on the stove and wash me in it. she sat me into the bathtub, left me there and went to heat up water until it was boiling hot. she took it fight of the stove, boiling hot and without cooling it down, she dumped it on me. i still remember the pure agony i felt, the pain, the smell, my scream. i never felt this much pain before. my mother just stood there for good 5 minutes, watching me scream and cry in pure pain - thankfully, other people from the home came running in and started helping me. it was too late tho, the skin on my scalp bassicaly cooked off and blisters covered my upper body. at first, my mother refused to take me to the hospital - she was scared that she will go to jail. so, she took me to hospital 3 days later, when i was already running fever and infection. the hospital stuff failed - they only checked my body but never my scalp. my mother lied to the doctors and said that i did it myself, that i dumped boiling soup onto myself by accident. she threatend to kill me if i ever speak up about the thruth and i believed her for years. thankfully, i went to the hospital again for new dressing and thats when they finally noticed my rotting burned scalp - surgery right away. they bassically had to peel the skin off my scalp, along with my hair of course - it was terrible. i underwent 3 surgeries like this and spend 3 months in hospital. i was bald for 2 years, since my hair roots got completely damaged - i was getting bullied terribly. at that time, my 2 years long anorexia started. my mother never brought it up again, she disscarded every single hospital paper and evidence and refused to apologise or talk about it. i was 10 when i found out i have a grandma from my father's side. my whole life, i only knew grandma from my mother's side and she is a terrible lady - always drunk and abusive. turned out that i was getting restricted from seeing my granny, cause my mother hated her. my mother only reached out to her when we hit rock bottom and had nowhere to go, since they kicked my mother out of the foster house, after the thing she did to me. we lived with my granny for few months and its been the best months of my life. my granny is completely different than her son (my father) - she's so loving, gentle and motherly. she bassicaly raised me and healed a tiny part of me. soon, me and my mother found a little flat and moved in alone - it was very small, just one room with everything in it. we lived like this for over a year. i never grew up rich, quite the opposite but these years with my mother were terrible when it came to money. she was working as a cleaning woman in some school and it didnt make good money. we moved houses 3 times, until we started living in the same house as my uncle (my father's brother) thats when the shit storm started again - he forced me into the contact with my father. after 4 years, i met him again and my daddy issues acted. he promised he changed and he even looked and acted like him and i believed him. soon, i became daddy's girl and our relationship was amazing. we traveled together, he bought me so many stuff, its been fun. my mother simply didnt give a fuck about what im doing. yes, i met my sister too and she looked like she changed too. for the first time in ny life, they both seemed to love me and we had so much fun. (at that time, they stopped dating) i was young and naive, mentally ill, slowly healing from anorexia - i needed my dad more than ever. our relationship started to get bad real quick tho and we just silently let it go. surprisingly, he never yelled or hit me, it just wasnt working. (how surprising) at the age 12 i also got sexually assaulted again. i was back at the shelter house, there was this little reunion of the kids that grew up there and there was this boy i never met before. he was 14, i was 12. we talked a little, he dragged me into this closed of area and assaulted me in there. i don't remember his face, his name or what exactly he did to my body - i just know i ended up naked on the floor of the playing area for kids. again - i never told anyone. when i realised what happened, it was already too late, so i stayed silent. around that time, my mother got a new job as a baker, that gave us better money. i think i was 13 when she first met her new boyfriend at her job. our money situation got a bit better thanks to him and he really helped me. at the start, it was bitter - older man in my house, living with him right away.. it took me nearly 2 years to get used to him fully. around 12-13, my mental health slowly started to get bad. i had this friend that meant terribly much to me - we were absolutely same, spend every day together, her family loved me and i loved them. she was my best friend forever and i gave her everything i had, to the point where i was living just for her. she was a manipulative whore, changing boyfriends every week, manipulating me, bullying me and you can say abusing me. she tied me to her bed and made fun of me for hours, she verbally abused me, hit me, forced me to cut of everyone in my life - she was a monster. when i was close to the age of 13, i tried to kill myself and nearly suceeded - i tried to kill myself because of that friend and everything that happened to me in last few months. i ended up in hospital, alive and got sent into the mental hospital for 3 months. it was a torture - i got restrained to the bed daily, given hard medication, verbally abused and everything got even worse in there. that hospital made everything drop for me. in those 3 moths, nobody came visit properly. my mother was there once and my friend too. when i got out, i started struggling heavily with self harm and silent suicide attempts. then, around the age of 14, i came out as trans to that friend and she dumped my ass. i remember that it absolutely broke me, completely made me fall apart and die inside. that day, i got drunk for the first time and fell asleep on train tracks - if there wasnt my guy friend, i wouldnt be here anymore. he brought me to my granny and she let me stay few nights - my mother never found out, thank god, she didnt care at all. i got help, diagnosis, medication and i've been trying ever since. i got into 3 relationships - two were abusive, toxic and cheating and one just simply didnt click. i had 6 different therapist and nobody was able to help me. i tried 10+ different types of medication and nothing helped. i tried everything - working out, journaling, meditation, every trick in the book - nothing. i was 15, ending in my elementary school and going to highschool. i never got to go to my dream highschool, since around the date of doing entrance exams, i was send into the mental hospital again, for few weeks, cause doctors didnt know what to do with me. i ended up in a school that i hated and thaz school hated me back - from teachers to students, everyone. i was getting bullied for being different and not fitting in. i remember throwing up from anxiety every morning, crying and fainting in school. it got so bad, my doctor had to write me a paper that i cannot attend school anymore. one day, i got such a bad panic attack and fainted on the street. ambulance brought me into the hospital and thankfully they let me go home - unfortunately, this caused my agoraphobia. it got so severe i havent left my house in months and on some days, i didnt even leave my room. i couldnt go to school, see my friends, attend therapy, get help - i was trapped. my mother and her now husband (they got married) planned to move out of my childhood city into a completely new one. they never asked me for opinion, they just said so. for 8 months, i was left alone in our house in my childhood city, since my mother was already in the new city. when i was lucky, she came home for one day every week, just to buy me some food and leave again. if it wasnt for my granny stopping by, i woukd surely go fuckin insane. came the big day and i had to be moved from the city to the new city - with severe fuckin agoraphobia. it was absolutely terrible but somehow i made it and ended up here. i found a new therapist and oh, she seemed so sweet, so perfect, so amazing. i had so much hope, she promised me so much things and completely made me believe everything she had to say. she stopped showing for therapies tho, started charging much more, even for the things she never did and she started talking very badly about me and my family behind our backs. turned out she was a fake therapist, scamming severely sick naive people like me. she robbed us of thousands and made me feel absolutely fuckin terrible. i never recovered from it and i don't think i ever will. i already had severe medical trauma and she only made it worse. i got new therapists thaz is till have to that day and they are quite nice, i like them. and here im - 17 years old, 10+ diagnosis, nothing is helping, hopeless. i still have agoraphobia, i can leave the house for a bit but i can't go anywhere far. i can't get a proper help, since you have to be personaly everywhere and thats something i can't do, due to my agoraphobia. i can't go to school, make new friends, anything - im so lonely. i have an online friend, they are my everything and thats all i have. i have bpd, autism, clinical depression, agoraphobia, panic dissorder, severe anxiety, severe c-ptsd, chronic illnesses, dissabilities and yet to get my ocd and schizophrenia diagnosis, since i have severe symptoms. i have no one but my online friend and two therapists. my family is not working. my mother's husband is just weird - he's a good guy and he's trying but he's rasist and just very pushy and touchy. my mother is a cold monster - she made her first boyfriend (my sister's father) kill himself, her second husband (my father) hate her child and her current husband cry many times. they always argue, cause my mother is a sick person, that wont admit that she needs help, that she's fucked in the head. she's restricting me from food, ignores my special needs, problems and severity of my problems. she's neglectfull and we argue a lot. she was also cheating on my father with my uncle (his brother) and she would open her legs for anyone. just recently i found out that my father is really not my father - my mother cheated on him and got me with some random man. maybe thats why he hated me so fuckin much. so, i don't know my real father and my only father figure let me down terribly. sometimes he sends me emails and letters about how i ruined his life and how he tried to ens himself thanks to me. im not getting any better and since the year started, everything has been much much worse. im spiraling, im lost. everyone let me down - my family, doctors, my friends, everoyne. i never got proper help, treatment, care, love. i was never heard or seen and even through all that, i stayed nice and im helping people every single day. im givng everyone everything, so much love and positivity but i never get anything in return. i was never loved, i was never meant to be alive. nobody that did me dirty ever got a punishment, i got zero justice or anything like that. suicided seems like the only answer now and i think i'll do it. i don't know. leaving this here, as it might change something for someone. it might give you hope or something. it might open eyes to people and make them care more for others. i want to be remembered for my story, in case i die. you don't have to believe me, nobody ever will but is wear im not lying. i don't have the heart to make terrible shit like this up. love you, friends, you all stay safe, i will at least try.