Repeated reading passages 3rd grade

Tales From Dispatch

2013.08.21 06:57 Tales From Dispatch

A place to share stories of the crazy, weird, funny, or insane calls you get as a dispatcher!
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2011.05.27 04:26 papermario13689 Manga Swap: Buy, Sell, Trade.

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2024.05.14 22:41 VincentVegasiPhone13 Seeking advice and/or consolation for weird ear symptoms

TL;DR: Noise sensitivity and other weird symptoms like popping/creeking and hearing my heartbeat. Possibly fluid in ears from sinus/allergies? Can fluid, or sinuses/mold, or a virus, cause these symptoms?
Hello everyone. Apologies in advance, I just found this community and this might be long but I just want to explain my symptoms so that someone might be able to ease my mind. Just for some background this is over the course of the last 13ish days. I have tinnitus but I don’t think it’s relevant because it is anxiety induced, or at least I don’t have any hearing loss as of last year.
Around the 24th/25th I started hearing an involuntary clicking/popping noise in my left ear. This was accompanied by a small tickling/pain sensation in the left ear. I thought I had tiny amount of ear drainage at nights but thought I could be making it up. Went to urgent care on 27th and doctor said there was no fluid behind my ear. Basically said there was no problem.
After the urgent care day I started to get sensitivity to noises in my left ear. I am a musician and it was enough to have me stop singing. It’s since been not as bad, I can wear headphones again, but still notice it a little bit in my left ear. I also proceeded to get post-nasal drip, like a swallowing mucus sensation, and just feeling slightly crummy in general. Now when I swallow I get the sound of releasing pressure in my ears like when you go on a plane or change altitudes. This is also a popping noise but it’s different from the involuntary one. The involuntary one is loud and has a long duration of back and forth.
I also started hearing my heartbeat in my right ear and feeling a slight fullness feeling, but it wasn’t enough to make me confident it was fluid. Thankfully the hearing my heart beat in my right ear is not as often and the involuntary popping in my left stopped for a few days (is now back sometimes but quieter). I still get them when in certain neck positions or straining during exercises, or when I get a high moment of stress and my heart beats a little harder, but I’m just thankful it’s not as often/periodic anymore.
On the 29th I went to the nurse practitioner at the actual hospital and she thinks it may be allergies. She didn’t see any fluid either. Started Sudafed and Flonase (as per her recommendation) and I had lots of ear drainage the same day. I think it was the Sudafed because apparently Flonase takes a few days to work. As a weird detail, the drainage smelled like the Flonase… just thought it was weird and should mention it.
Went back to the nurse on the 3rd and they looked in my nose this time. Said my left nostril was so swollen that they don’t know how I was breathing out of it. I felt no resistance or congestion, I felt fine as far as that went. They prescribed me the steroid dexamethasone 0.75 mg for 7 days twice a day. At first I thought it spiked my tinnitus but it actually started to help it a lot.
Since I’ve been done the steroid, I took one Zyrtec to help my post-nasal drip, and I got a huge spike in my T back. It could be coincidence, as it hasn’t gone back down much. I’ve had headaches, face swelling, feeling of pressure in my ears, lots of ear fluid one night, maybe even a low grade fever one night but my thermometer is not trustworthy.
When I wake up my ears feel like they have this pressure but I’m pretty sure it’s not affecting my hearing. It’s so weird that I’m getting different symptoms in different ears, and how I got the popping sounds before noticing any fluid. My doctor says this could be a virus, but I’m seeing the ENT for the first time tomorrow. I’m scared they’re not going to see anything and send me off.
The only two things I can think of that caused this was that I was riding in my friends car for a long time one night that week and the car had a mildew smell. Other thing is that I rode in a separate friends loud convertible that maybe the exhaust pipe noises caused these symptoms, but I don’t know how hearing damage can cause fluid and nasal inflammation.
Another thing I think about is that my grandpa hated loud noises… but I really hope this isn’t connected. He likely never wore ear protection and always worked around boat engines and engineering docks since a kid. My grandma said she has had similar situations as me in the past where she gets ear fluid and noise sensitivity from sinuses so I’m praying that it is temporary 🙏
submitted by VincentVegasiPhone13 to hyperacusis [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 22:40 Abbyprada Im Spanish and doing lc next year, I need so much help please

Hi! I’m doing 5th year in Spain and I’ll be going to Ireland to do 6th year. The school system is completely different, so I am so lost. If anyone could help me out with any of this questions I would appreciate it so much!
  1. I know how the point system works, but why do they give you your marks back so late? How do you know if you got into the university you applied to if they give you your marks back in August?
  2. Related to the 1st question, I am planning on applying to university through EUNICAS, anyone has any experience with it? How does it work?
  3. Is geography a hard subject? How can I get good grades?
  4. How hard is business? Is it worth it to do it in higher level?
  5. I’m really bad at maths, I wouldn’t like to take it in ordinary level but I don’t think I would pass higher level. Although those extra 25 points look good to me. What should I do?
  6. Anyone has any tips for engineering?
  7. Is LCPE a good choice even though I have to do the projects?
  8. How hard is it to get good marks in English? Any tips knowing that English is not my first language?
Thank you anyone that even took the time to read! Please if you know the answer to any of this questions let me know, I need so much help. 🫶🏻🫶🏻
submitted by Abbyprada to StudyInIreland [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 22:39 Illustrious-Pilot265 My child's behavior is only getting worse

My son is 9 years old and is in the 3rd grade currently. He has been diagnosed with ODD, ADHD, and low IQ. We have had him in school for 3.5 years. He went to a preschool to help him with his learning. He was always such a sweet kid; he always listened, and the teachers loved him. Recently, we have had increasing issues, which started when he started at a new school. I have him in counseling and have him medicated. It seems as if it's only escalating. I never do any physical punishment; my husband and I try to talk to him, and I also have him in counseling to help with the behaviors. I have his teacher reaching out to me almost on a daily basis about his behavior, including his being banned from eating in the lunchroom due to vandalism. We really don't know what to do anymore, and the only thing that has recently changed is the fact that his father has come back into his life recently and demands time with him and his brother every single weekend. There is nothing I can do to stop these visits right now without legal repercussions. Has anyone else dealt with this, my husband and I are so lost and I feel like we are trying everything we can think of.
submitted by Illustrious-Pilot265 to Parenting [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 22:34 Abbyprada Im Spanish and doing my lc in Ireland next year, please I need a lot of help 🫶🏻

Hi! I’m doing 5th year in Spain and I’ll be going to Ireland to do 6th year. The school system is completely different, so I am so lost. If anyone could help me out with any of this questions I would appreciate it so much!
  1. I know how the point system works, but why do they give you your marks back so late? How do you know if you got into the university you applied to if they give you your marks back in August?
  2. Related to the 1st question, I am planning on applying to university through EUNICAS, anyone has any experience with it? How does it work?
  3. Is geography a hard subject? How can I get good grades?
  4. How hard is business? Is it worth it to do it in higher level?
  5. I’m really bad at maths, I wouldn’t like to take it in ordinary level but I don’t think I would pass higher level. Although those extra 25 points look good to me. What should I do?
  6. Anyone has any tips for engineering?
  7. Is LCPE a good choice even though I have to do the projects?
  8. How hard is it to get good marks in English? Any tips knowing that English is not my first language?
Thank you anyone that even took the time to read! Please if you know the answer to any of this questions let me know, I need so much help. 🫶🏻🫶🏻
submitted by Abbyprada to leavingcert2024 [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 22:32 Abbyprada Im not an Irish person and im doing my lc next year, please help me 🫶🏻

Hi! I’m doing 5th year in Spain and I’ll be going to Ireland to do 6th year. The school system is completely different, so I am so lost. If anyone could help me out with any of this questions I would appreciate it so much!
  1. I know how the point system works, but why do they give you your marks back so late? How do you know if you got into the university you applied to if they give you your marks back in August?
  2. Related to the 1st question, I am planning on applying to university through EUNICAS, anyone has any experience with it? How does it work?
  3. Is geography a hard subject? How can I get good grades?
  4. How hard is business? Is it worth it to do it in higher level?
  5. I’m really bad at maths, I wouldn’t like to take it in ordinary level but I don’t think I would pass higher level. Although those extra 25 points look good to me. What should I do?
  6. Anyone has any tips for engineering?
  7. Is LCPE a good choice even though I have to do the projects?
  8. How hard is it to get good marks in English? Any tips knowing that English is not my first language?
Thank you anyone that even took the time to read! Please if you know the answer to any of this questions let me know, I need so much help. 🫶🏻🫶🏻
submitted by Abbyprada to leavingcerts [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 22:29 Abbyprada Non Irish person, I need help, I’m doing my lc next year and I have so many questions, I would love some help 🫶🏻

Hi! I’m doing 5th year in Spain and I’ll be going to Ireland to do 6th year. The school system is completely different, so I am so lost. If anyone could help me out with any of this questions I would appreciate it so much!
  1. I know how the point system works, but why do they give you your marks back so late? How do you know if you got into the university you applied to if they give you your marks back in August?
  2. Related to the 1st question, I am planning on applying to university through EUNICAS, anyone has any experience with it? How does it work?
  3. Is geography a hard subject? How can I get good grades?
  4. How hard is business? Is it worth it to do it in higher level?
  5. I’m really bad at maths, I wouldn’t like to take it in ordinary level but I don’t think I would pass higher level. Although those extra 25 points look good to me. What should I do?
  6. Anyone has any tips for engineering?
  7. Is LCPE a good choice even though I have to do the projects?
  8. How hard is it to get good marks in English? Any tips knowing that English is not my first language?
Thank you anyone that even took the time to read! Please if you know the answer to any of this questions let me know, I need so much help. 🫶🏻🫶🏻
submitted by Abbyprada to leavingcert [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 22:28 According_Medicine26 Some teachers don't like me, I need help.

So, a lot of teachers do like me, but some just don't. My physics and second math teacher don't really like me.
The first time I was at school, I came in late due to public transport issues, so it wasn't really my fault. The physics teacher asked us to introduce ourselves etc. I'm a pretty busy type of person. I finished 1 course out of school for a job, I do a lot of sports, etc. So I tell her this and she replies "You're probably the one that doesn't do a lot for school." with a dumb smile on her face. I found this quite humiliating, so I decided to keep my distance in her classes. I'm also rather social so I like to make jokes about the things we learn to my friend that sits next to me. Seems like she doesn't like that. Most of this year my grades have been ok and I've always done what I should do, not more not less. But for some reason, she still seems to not like me, to the point of asking another teacher, which likes me, to talk about it. Which seems a bit childish for a teacher to do. Why didn't she come up to me and ask me personally?
There's also a math teacher, I have 2, this one gives me 2 hours. Those 2 hours are actually unimportant for my grades. They're basically time fillers, everyone had to choose something for those 2 hours. I wanted to do programming, which wasn't an option, so I chose math because nothing else interested me. When I realized those 2 hours amounted to nothing because the level of math was a bit too intense for me and it wouldn't have grades, I decided to use those lessons to unwind or catch-up on my other courses, as I'm busy most of the time Im out of school. I may have unwinded a bit too much in the beginning, I didn't do much else than talk and look at the time. I realised this wasn't efficient. I began doing usefull things like studying etc. But everytime I do, the teachers seems to love humiliating me in front of everyone.
"Oh those look like 'difficult' exercises you have there" when I struggle with something and ask help from my friend or "Yes, it's almost time to go home" when I look at the clock. Last time I really wasn't feeling well and didn't understand what he explained about an exercise, so I decided to read a book as I didn't want to disturb. He immediately said "Be quite *my name* is trying to read." or "You have a lot written on your page huh."
Keep in mind, these 2 hours aren't important for grades and don't affect my year in any way. I just don't understand the constant trashing he does. Every time I do something, even when it's math, he has a negative comment. Like "Are you gonna do it all in your head? You must be so smart." when I was looking at an exercise trying to understand what I should do before writing anything, to save some paper.
If you need more info or anything I will gladly give it.
submitted by According_Medicine26 to AskTeachers [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 22:26 BeeMon8 What's my actual level in maths?

Hello to everyone who's reading this post. I'm in the 1st baccalaureate (or also know as bachelor's degree) of two grades here in Spain and I'm wondering about if I'm overestimating my level in maths or not. Let explain why I'm wondering that. The Spanish education is becoming easier and less demanding every year that goes by; that issue makes me think that my actual lvl is inferior in comparision to other countries. So, could someone help me sending me like where can I find material of other educational systems to make a objectiva view abt myself.? (btw, if you find any grammatical error is because im not good at English and thx for reading till here)
submitted by BeeMon8 to maths [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 22:25 Federal-View-9729 2nd week on AIP and not doing great - any advice?

I decided to start the AIP diet after reading about connections between chronic inflammation and repeated pregnancy loss. I've had two miscarriages in the last seven months, and am wondering if an underlying inflammation issue may be contributing. I've not had a previous autoimmune diagnosis, but wanted to see if following the diet would produce positive effects that might lead to a successful pregnancy in the near future.
I'm on my second week. Following the diet hasn't been terribly difficult (I've done Paleo/Whole30 in the past), but I've been surprised at how constipated I've felt since the first day. I've also noticed my sleep quality has become really poor. I used to have no problems falling asleep and staying asleep through the night - now it takes me much longer to feel sleepy, and the sleep I do get feels "thin". I don't feel rested when I wake up. I've also somehow gained weight, even though I'm eating fewer calories (but a still healthy amount, I'm not hungry when I'm going to bed).
My meals have mostly been meat + 2 AIP-approved veg, reaching 30 g of protein per meal, snacks are usually fruit and jerky, and I'm still drinking caffeine (black tea/oolong/green tea in the morning until ~ noon, but not after). I'm drinking ~120 oz of water a day, a lift weights 3-4 times a week, and play tennis 3x a week.
Any advice (especially for the constipation)?
submitted by Federal-View-9729 to AutoImmuneProtocol [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 22:21 dinogummies I'm getting overwhelmed by my boyfriend's constant need for physical touch and reassurance

My boyfriend (23) and I (21F) have been together for almost a year. We both live with our parents, so we see each other about 3-4 times a week. I didn't notice until fairly recently that he's constantly touching me.
Any time we're sitting down, he has his hand on my thigh or shoulder or is holding my hand. Driving especially, but also when we're eating dinner with my family or at a friend's house.
At concerts or clubs, he has his arms wrapped around my shoulders or waist the entire time. From the moment we walk in the doors until the moment we leave, unless I'm in the bathroom he's wrapped around me. He always stands behind me and is pressed up against me most of the time. If I try to dance, I'm forced to take a step forward and he'll follow me and pull me close again. Last time we went out, I ended up at least 5 feet away from where we started in less than 10 minutes.
If it's just the two of us, we're usually seated across from each other and I have my own personal space. It seems that any time we're in the company of other people he feels the need to be touching me.
He also tends to follow me like a shadow whenever we're anywhere other than his house. I'll go to the bathroom and he'll be standing outside when I come out. I'll be cooking and go from the sink to the stove and he'll follow me. I've suggested he sit down in the next room (clear line of sight, close enough to continue a conversation) and he says he's more comfortable standing because he's been sitting all day.
It seems to me that the more unconsciously uncomfortable he is in a situation, the more clingy he gets. When we're alone together, it's fine, but any time we're with my parents or friends or in public there's a noticable change in his behavior.
For some context, we both have a lot of trauma from previous relationships and we're both neurodivergent (he's been diagnosed with autism by one doctor, but hasn't from other doctors in the same specialty so he doesn't put much faith in the diagnosis. He definitely shows some symptoms, but I'm not a doctor). He also has trauma from his father. I've noticed he needs reassurance very often and tends to repeat almost everything he says. He also compliments me every 5 minutes and if I don't respond in kind he gets upset (sad and withdrawn, not angry).
I've asked him to stop doing specific actions (for example, rubbing my knuckles painfully hard while holding my hand, or playing with my fishnet tights, or slipping his hand in the rips of my jeans to rub my knee) and he will stop for a moment, but gets distracted and goes back to doing it a few minutes later. It does genuinely seem to be unconscious behavior and he is sincerely apologetic. He fidgets constantly with anything at hand, so I don't believe he's doing it on purpose.
I've also asked him to give me space at concerts and similar places. I've explained in very specific terms ("I need you to not put your arms around my shoulders at this concert because there's a mosh pit and I need to have control over my own balance and center of gravity" "it hurts my back and shoulders when you lean on me like that" "it's overstimulating being pressed up against you in the club all night, I'd prefer if you held my hand instead") and he responds better to that. The more specific detail I give, the longer it is before he does it again.
He does have pinched nerves in his shoulders/upper chest, so standing for long periods of time is painful for him. He tends to lean on me to relieve some of his pain. He is on medication, but it isn't working well enough to stop the pain from impacting his daily life. He is also 6'2 to my 5'5, so having him use me for support leads to me being in pain.
It's exhausting having to constantly remind him that he's overstimulating me and I need some physical distance between us. I understand that he fidgets unconsciously and that he has chronic pain. However, I'm starting to get resentful that he doesn't change his behaviors long term. I don't think it's malicious or lazy, I think he just genuinely doesn't realize how much this affects me. I tend to downplay my own discomfort, which is something I'm working on in therapy. I want to have a "come to Jesus" talk with him, but I'm afraid that either I'll be too soft and he won't change or I'll be too harsh and he'll feel attacked and not change. I don't know for a fact that I've adequately explained how his behavior makes me feel and I'm afraid of blindsiding him. I want this to be a productive conversation between two adults, not me berating him for not reading my mind.
Edit: I've asked him multiple times to seek therapy or at least be open to the possibility. He's been through 6-8 therapists since middle school and is convinced that therapy can't help him and "he already knows exactly what they're going to say"
submitted by dinogummies to TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 22:19 Ill_Job1126 measuring behind, low heart rate

so, I know this is asked a lot, and I've read possibly EVERYTHING online, I'm just wondering if anyone has any happy ending stories out there...just to get me through this wait...
i had an ultrasound today (transvaginal) and they found a heartbeat. so beautiful. never had that before. but it was low, 81. the embryo measured 6 weeks, but it should be around 7 weeks. this is based on when i ovulated, not LMP (i was tracking with test strips). so i'm about a week behind. i had another scan a week ago and the embryo as measuring 5 weeks, so it is growing appropriately, apparently, although the OB did say he expected it to have grown a little more, not sure why.
i guess it's POSSIBLE i had a second LH surge...i do have PCOS...but it seems unlikely...don't think that's ever happened before and the surge happened around the time i usually ovulate. feel like it's pushing it making that the explanation to be honest and, to be frank, we didn't have like full-on unprotected sex after the date I suspect we conceived. (ok TMI here but anyway, we weren't actively trying and usually pull out, so for us to have conceived later we're talking about a false LH surge plus some sperm somehow slipping out...sounds a bit far-fetched...sorry again for TMI but we're all grown ups right?)
my betas are rising nicely, they started low but rose very well. no one is unhappy about them. im on progesterone supplements (two previous losses).
my OB says its 50/50. he doesn't mince words. im repeating the scan in a week and a half (torture!).
any light out there? or am i doomed. this was technically unplanned but im 34, dying to be a mother, and desperately want this to happen.
thanks guys
submitted by Ill_Job1126 to CautiousBB [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 22:18 LostRambler96 Mental health nurse to clinical psychologist?

Hi there!
I’m 27 (f) and I am currently doing BSc (hons) in mental health nursing. My dream was always to be a clinical psychologist and wanted to study psychology but last minute I applied to MH nursing due to it being a more stable career. I qualify as a RMN next year however I genuinely don’t want to do nursing. I love the psychology aspect of the course and working with individuals with mental health and psychological difficulties however I HATE the nursing side of it. My grades are good & I really enjoy reading & researching all aspects of psychology. I plan to complete a BPS accredited MSc in psychology once I graduate, with the aim to train in some psychological therapies and eventually my goal of becoming a clinical psychologist. My question is:
  1. Will working as a mental health nurse for a few years while I get my MSc in psychology doing as relevant work experience when applying for DClinPsy?
  2. If I don’t get in to DClinPsy, what route can I take to do psychological therapies full time?
  3. Is it possible to become a full time therapist if DClinPsy doesn’t work out?
TL;DR - I’m currently studying mental health nursing, can I convert to clinical psychology?
submitted by LostRambler96 to ClinicalPsychologyUK [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 22:17 i-will-overcome First time poster - long time coming

Hey everyone,
I've been struggling with a very destructive pattern of paying for sex for some time now. I don't do it often, and bc of that I've fooled myself into believing that these act-outs are just a series of one-off events brought on by specific stressors in my life, but it has undoubtedly become a pattern and I know that I need some accountability.
For context, from a young age I've always engaged in somewhat deviant (to me) sexual behavior. I was raised very strictly catholic and from a young age was told in school that it was a sin to masturbate. I matured earlier than many boys and started masturbating in 4th grade. The first time scared the hell out of me as I had no idea what was happening. All I knew is it felt good and that I couldn't talk to it about anyone.
In 6th and 7th grade I was spying on my nextdoor neighbors. Two very attractive sisters whose room was right across the way from mine. I would watch them as they showered and changed.
Fast forward to 8th grade - I was in a serious relationship through 9th grade. This was the first time I had sex of any kind with another person. I also was cheating on her with many other girls.
Next was sophomore year of high school. The first time I experienced true love. And the first time I felt I had such a deep connection with someone else that was respectful and honest. And still I ended up cheating on her toward the end of our two years together. We remain friends to this day which I'm very thankful for, and hey it was high school - water under the bridge, young people make mistakes right? maybe, but...
Fast forward to my college years, I was in a very serious relationship for the entirety of college that culminated in marriage right out of school and a subsequent divorce a few years later. She was the one. Beautiful, smart, sexy. She had everything I wanted (or thought I wanted in my juvenile brain). But as we entered our 3rd year of dating, we began to have many serious sexual issues that we would later find out, stemmed from both of our underlying trauma surrounding sex. We continuously played out a very destructive sexual fantasy that was never explicitly spoken about until the very end of our relationship. In addition to this, I also had many emotional and physical affairs along the way.
That failed marriage prompted a complete overhaul of my life. I was devastated and I knew there were many things I needed to sort out if I was ever going to have a healthy relationship to sex and with another person. Thus, I found a therapist. An amazing therapist. I didn't realize how good he was until much later. The work we did together changed my life. I found a stable career. And I found the girl of my dreams. The relationship was calm, respectful, loving, and without the vicious ups and downs I had previously known. The sex was good and meaningful. We are still together - married with three children. And to this day I have not had any sort of emotional connection to anyone else but her.
And yet, I'm here. Early in my relationship with my now-wife, I visited a massage parlor and cheated. I talked about this with my therapist. We dug in and explored why I felt the need to do this and discovered that this acting out had very little to do with my relationship and everything to do with some unresolved issues inside of me. Thus, the advice was to not disclose the transgression to my partner as it would only cause her pain. That took me a minute to understand but I believe it was the right decision. I still do. And with time, I moved past it.
That was my only transgression for a long time. After many years of intensive therapy I was a new man, feeling more confident and secure in myself than I'd ever been. And so on my therapists advice we began to taper off on the sessions until finally we felt the bulk of our work was done and that I we would check in only on a necessary basis.
And then 3 years into my marriage, I acted out again. I visited another sex worker. I was devastated. But I felt confident that I could handle this on my own. I didn't call my therapist. I journaled, I downloaded a sober app, I conducted therapy sessions with myself, and I held myself accountable. And with time I began to feel better until the guilt faded away and after numerous successful moments where I stopped myself from acting out. This gave me a security that I might finally have kicked my issue. And so I went on with life, I didn't think of it often - only when those impulses would arise or I would catch myself drinking a bit too much and experiencing intrusive thoughts.
And then after almost 2 years of sobriety, I did again last week. And I'm crushed. It shakes the foundation I've fought so hard to build. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like a broken person doomed to failure. And my deep fear now is that I've pathologized this behavior. I've normalized it. And that thought sends me into a panic. Is this what my life will be? Will I always have to carry around this shadow self? This is not the man I want to be. This is not the partner or father I want to be.
And what makes it that much more difficult is that my family and friends adore me. I've been referred to as "golden boy" more than a few times. I have an enviable life. And I'm the type of person who friends and family confide in and look up to. I've been told I emanate a quiet strength and people feel safe around me.
And yet, here I am with this terrible secret. I don't feel like the man people think I am or that I portray myself to be. I've called my therapist and we will speak tomorrow, but any words of encouragement or additional resources would be much appreciated. I cannot allow this to happen again. It is eating away at my heart.
submitted by i-will-overcome to SexAddiction [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 22:16 tbag2022 Are there rules or a system of some sort, that guides or prohibits all books to the extent of how much profanity, killings, cannibalism, rape, etc... they can include in their stories?

I was just curious, sorry still a noob on books. I am 1-2 years in being addicted to books now because back then I hated books, believed they were just a waste of time if there werent any illustrations in them lol.
It was an accident really if you think about it, I loved the tv series The Expanse, but when I finished it, I learned that there are still more in the books, so I repeated the whole thing from the start in books and was easilly hyped by how much books differ from their adaptations, oh the details... like finding gold in haystack.
Then after, as a beginner, I decided on reading books that already had a movie or tv series adaptation which I already watched, Stephen King was an easy stepping stone lol, then some of John Grisham's too.
After some time I began starting on books that dont have an adaptation on the big screen, finding that my mind is now more free to imagine things based on these ones, because I am not caged in to comparing them unlike to the first ones I read that have adaptations, you are somehow stuck imagining the lead in The Firm only looks like Tom Cruise, stuff like that.
Now to the whole point of this, in movies or tv series, anime whatever... Anything that shows in the tv screen are usually regulated, there is a limit to how much gore, killings, rape etc, that they can show. Not that I like these things, but as I dived through the original source of some of these movies or tv series that I really liked, either from books, manga or comics, when they are adapted to the big screen, there are a huge chunks of details being left out because of how they are easilly incorporated through the violence, gore or nudity it showed. Berserk anime is one best example here, if you have watched the anime and thought it was brutal, wait until you see the manga version. And back to the first book I read, The Expanse, I think easilly 30-40% was gone just because maybe they cant show those darker side of the book in TV.
I have noticed now in reading books, that the more it shows these things, killings, massacres, rape, canibalism, profanity etc, the more it felt more real, even though most of what I liked are fantasy books really. Again not that I liked those things, it just simulates a better scene or imagination in you while you read.
So I know TV series, anime , Movies, even Porn lol, have a limit on how much they can show, violence, gore all the stuff I said. How are they done on books? How are authors limited to what they can write? Or is their freedom in writing boundless?
submitted by tbag2022 to Fantasy [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 22:15 MAXperformanceMAX Getting set up with supervisor's single friends, I don't know how to feel about this

I am a 35yo guy with a 3yo daughter. Daugther's mom left me in summer of 2022 after 8 years together (3rd year married) so I have been single a bit less than 2 years. There were some relationship issues over our different personality that was there (I am passive, introverted, little depressive while she is type A, extroverted and little manic), that I thought we could work through, but a lot of stress during pandemic (job change, parents health, house renovation, new child etc. in the middle of it all) caused the relationship to break down. I have been living alone for year and a half now, and have my daughter during weekdays. Divorce is not settles yet since daughter's mom needs to pay me quite a bit of alimony + child support and she is obviously salty about that.
I am doing alright on my own. Spending quality time with my daughter and working hard during the week. Reading, catching up with friends, chores on weekends. I am a bit lonely on weekend nights yes, and I would like to be part of a family unit eventually, but just so busy with life and not letting anything fall through the crack. In a way, I relate to those depressive dilettante types in the novels, and find the current situation as a sad divorced dad "fitting" for me.
Women at work, and partners of my friends, have been relentless with trying to offer their friends. I guess they hate to see me wasting away my best years? I don't know where I could fit a serious relationship into my current life though. Not sure if anyone my age is okay with meeting me like once every other week.
I am invited to my supervisor's birthday party in a couple weeks, and learned through others that she showed my photos + shared who I am to her single friends (my supervisor and go back a long time and are close friends outside of work as well, so she knows a lot about me) and promised them that I will be at the birthday party, ready to be set up with them. To my knowledge, they are smart, attractive women with promising careers. I already know who one of those friends is, because a woman was staring very intently at my daughter and I at a grocery store that I thought it was very strange, and I later I saw her in a group photo with my supervisor. In fact, the party is more grandiose than previous years and will be taking place in a more remote place, meaning there is no escaping in the middle (which I tend to do when I run out of social energy, which happens pretty fast).
This should be exciting, but actually it is giving me an extremely complex, difficult to explain feeling. I feel pressured to show up and be on my best behaviour, given these are my supervisor's friends, and I have some social anxiety. The pressure is making me want to not go, which I can't, given my relationship with the birthday girl and that her friends have been promised that I will be there.
edit: my close friends tell me I should definitely show up and put in effort because they think it will be very good for me to finally go out there and meet women
I also feel zero percent ready for a relationship, in fact, this feeling I have might be related to fact that I am still not over the breakdown of my marriage. I have always been popular with girls, but never been good at reacting properly to that popularity, and am probably one of those "emotionally unavailable" men. There is a long list of girls who came to me looking for love but left disappointed.
I'm already nervous and thinking non-stop about how this invitation to "be set up" with my supervisor's friends is giving me negative emotions like a rock thrown into a calm pond. Or maybe the pond wasn't calm to begin with? I need some perspective on how to think/behave/approach this situation.
TL;DR - divorced guy with a child, busy life, don't feel ready for a relationship. Invited to my supervisor's birthday party where she invited her single eligible bachelorette friends who want to meet me, and it's making me feel really nervous and complicated inside.
submitted by MAXperformanceMAX to Divorce [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 22:13 Thatsidechara_ter Fort Ko'Var Briefing (Northern Mountains Front)

Fort Ko'Var Briefing (Northern Mountains Front)
[This post will function as the primary info-dump and planning post for the Siege of Fort Ko'Var. Let's get to it!]

Colenel Jethro Arvin looked around the Taronian 8th Regimental Headquarters at Waycross Road, surveying the plethora of attendees both junior and senior. It was a hell of a crowd; he hoped he didn't dissapoint.
First, there was of course his own senior staff, all in physical attendence now that Major Quoke had rejoined them. Also present in-person was Lieutenant Lenore McPherson, Intelligence Officer of the Praetorian 27th, and the Valyrran Major Zero, who arrived with Major Quoke and now stood silently off to the opposite side of the room from the Taronians.
There were also a plethora of attendees tuning in via hololith; Colonel Braithwaite and General Redlina herself plus a number of other Valyrran officers, presumably representing other elements to be allocated to the siege. There was also the lone small figure of a woman in a Minthelian jumpsuit; Arvin recognized her as the young aide who had guided him when he received orders from General Redlina to detain the Minthelian Lieutenant Sophy. It felt so long ago now.
The final hololith attendee, however, Arvin did not recognize: he wore a long white coat adorned with various bits of webbing and equipment over knee-high leather boots, and a simple steel helmet with a gold Aquila on it atop his head. The man introduced himself as Colonel Lilzton, commander of Task Force Liberation, the loyalist PDF remnants to the north of the fort. Arvin hoped he would get to meet him in person some time.
But now, everyone was assembled, and it was time for Colonel Arvin to begin his briefing.
"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for attending this briefing. We have a lot to get through, so I'll begin without delay..."

INTRODUCTION:
Covering an surface area of about 12.5 square kilometers, Fort Ko'Var, previously known as "Saint's Gate", serves as the primary bastion of resistance for the entirety of the northern mountains. It is carved directly out of the rock in many places, and as it's Imperial name suggests, it controls all passage along the north-south mountain road. Both the town of Kan'Shae and the base of operations for Task Force Liberation are nominally cut off to the north of the fort; for these reasons, the position must be captured if we are to secure victory in this region.

THE TERRAIN:
The geography surrounding Fort Ko'Var only makes it's capture more important. To the east and southeast lays an expanse of high peaks, jagged cliffs, and all manner of other hazardous terrain, such that getting a cohesive fighting force over it is all but impossible.
To the east and northeast lies a river which continues uninterrupted to Westbridge Lake. It is believed to have been artificially-made by the fortress's builders to achieve 2 goals: 1) to prevent the bypassing of the fort by any kind of vehicular foe simply by driving around it, and 2) to supply the defenders with a ready source of clean drinking water, as the river ends in a large pool enclosed within the fortress itself.
Thus, strategically-speaking, Fort Ko'Var is a natural chokepoint which provides the only way past these obstacles, both natural and man-made. Tactically-speaking, the ground surrounding the fort is wide open, providing little cover except for a handfull of foothills that could be used as staging grounds and observation posts.

THE ROAD:
The road which makes Fort Ko'Var so vital runs directly through the mountain in a tunnel just to the west of the bulk of the defenses; this tunnel is capped on both ends by reinforced blast doors rated to withstand at least some punishment from anything we have at our disposal, and is furthermore enclosed by 2 of the 3 defensive tiers of the fort.
We can also assume the tunnel is rigged to blow at the defenders' discretion. Should this happen, the only road connection will be through the heart of the fortress itself, as there are connections on either side of the tunnel, winding up and then down an extensive series of switchback roads that would expose any vehicle to near-endless plunging fire from above. Needless to say, simply ignoring the fort and it's occupants is not an option if we wish to use this highway.

THE TIERS:
Fort Ko'Var is comprised of 3 main defensive tiers, each partitioned by 3 heavily-fortified walls. all of these are complete with bunkers, observation towers, and massive defensive hardpoints that make them formidable obstacles for any attacker, but each also has its quirks and weaknesses that might be exploited.
The outer wall is comparable to a hive city's curtain wall, at least in construction if not in sheer thickness. It rises above the 1st, lowest defensive tier on a gentle slope; this tier is largely home to Fort Ko'Var's rank and file barracks, commodities and maintenence facilities.
The inner wall is less a true wall, and more of a permacrete-reinforced cliff that rings around the 2nd Defensive Tier. The only way up without climbing is a handful of personnel entrances and the 2 roadways, one north and one south. This tier houses the primary vehicle and equipment storage facilities, additional support infrastructure, the secondary artillery batteries, the commoner prison facilities, as well several passageways leading to the road tunnel and beyond.
Lastly, the Final Citadel is not a wall at all, but is instead a massive, adamantine-sheathed, armored plateau that sits at the very top of Fort Ko'Var, complete with countless weapons portholes, pillboxes, a partial mote, and a miniature voidshield enveloping it. Inside this last bastion is the fortress's command center, essential supplies storage, the VIP prison facilities, the majority of the fort's munitions storage capacity, and on top of it is positioned a ring of anti-aircraft emplacements as well as Fort Ko'Var's pride and joy: her primary artillery batteries.

THE ARTILLERY:
Aside from the countless other weapons systems protecting the fort, her main method of reaching out and touching her foes with extreme prejudice is, was, and always has been her artillery. These systems come in batteries of 4 weapons each, and every gun is housed in it's own 360-degree turreted bunker.
For air cover, 8 Imperial-era Hydra Flak Batteries still play a key role in protecting the fortress, but these have been further supplemented by 2 batteries of T'au-made SAM launchers. These long-range munitions are deadly to any pilot who strays anywhere near the fort's airspace, and should not be tested lightly. The Hydra batteries, meanwhile, can also be turned towards anti-personnel duties easily enough, as well.
Onto the ground-to-ground weapon systems, the local auxilia garrison will of course deploy light artillery such as mortars, but for precise, in-close bombardments that can pack real punch, Fort Ko'Var relies on it's 5 batteries of Bombast Field Cannons; I'm sure you're all familiar with that platform by now.
But for more long-range needs, Fort Ko'Var relies on its primary armament of 4 batteries of "Earthquaker" Cannons, as the locals call them. These weapons are T'au-modified, extended-range variants of the venerable Earthshaker Cannon, and rebel reports have clocked it's maximum range with a standard powder charge at about 22 kilometers, increasing to 30 when supercharged. They pack the same firepower as an Earthshaker and, from what reports we have, roughly the same accuracy margins, as well.
Put together, all of these weapons give Fort Ko'Var a potent array of long-range fires, with which it can engage both land and air targets with ease. However, there are some hints that at least 1 or 2 of the above-mentioned systems do not have the neccesary ammunition to operate optimally. The SAMs, in particular, most likely do not have a large number of missile reloads; thus, the xenos gunners may be less willing to fire valuable missiles at something they don't perceive as a threat. Pilots, take note.

OTHER INFO:
Based on rebel reports, Fort Ko'Var is normally home to about 20,000 personnel, with 15,000 in garrison and 5,000 patrolling the mountains at any given time. However, based again on the rebel intel we have, this force has a far-larger ratio of Fire Warriors to Auxilia, something like 2 T'au for every 3 Auxilia. From this we can infer that the T'au value this installation just as much as we do, and are invested in defending it.
Unfortunately I can't get much more detailed than that; with the recent retreat of T'au troops all across the north, it could be that Fort Ko'Var is operating on a skeleton crew as manpower is transferred to other sectors, or it could be that it has been heavily reinforced by units retreating there. Therefore, be on your guard and ready to respond to any possible threat, battlesuits, tanks, superheavies, you get the idea.

OTHER DETAILS:
There are a few more things of note that I must make mention of.
First off, back to that water pool. It is located right at the easternmost point of the fort in the 1st Defensive Tier; this might be a tactical weakness in their ability to get fresh water if they were pushed back to the upper tiers, but the estern tip of the Citadel also hangs out past the 2nd Tier, over this pool and extends downward [OOC: think something like the top tier Minas Tirith], enclosing a portion of the water for the final defensive tier's personal usage.
Second, there is the main landing area. While a few smaller landing pads are scattered around the 2nd and 3rd Tiers, Fort Ko'Var's primary landing area is on the northern side of the 1st Tier, both bulging outwards and making a massive indent in the 2nd tier and the Citadel. Originally being designed for Tetrarch Heavy landers, this area is big enough to land a whole squadron of Mantas simultaneously.
Lastly, there is the escape tunnel. As shown by Imperial records, Fort Ko'Var possesses a single passageway buried deep in the mountain, leading to a secret exit somewhere west or south of the fort. However, I am informed that our new-found local allies may hold the answer to it's location, in which case I believe immediate efforts should be made to cut off this last avenure for reinforcement or evacuation.

THE PLAN:
Fort Ko'Var is a stronge defensive position, but not impregnable if approached in the correct manner. Our basic battle plan is simple enough: Task Force Liberation attack from the north, while the Taronian 8th, Praetorian 27th, and elements of the Valyrran 1st attack from the south. We crush the xenos and the traitors between us, and meet in the middle. But that is, of course, more of an outline than an actual plan, and so I'd like to offer my own thoughts on the tactics to be employed.
Fort Ko'Var's 3 defensive Tiers are very different from eachother, and thus will each require a different approach. The 1st Tier has the longest perimeter to coved, and also the least defenses; therefore, we should make our first strike fast and hard, overunning this first obstacle with haste and superior firepower. This has the added benefit of showing the enemy what we are capable of; with the traitor human Auxilia's morale breaking all across Gryllus, we may yet open up further weakpoints by forcing them to accept their inevitable defeat.
The 2nd tier is... somewhat different. Carved from the rocky cliffs themselves, it will not be possible to simply breach it as you would a traditional wall, but this particular facet opens up... another avenue of attack which myself and Major Baxton have been discussing for some time. It is risky, and as of yet we are not completely sure it is pheasible, but I believe we should consider the option of tunneling into the second tier rather assaulting up it.
The Final Citadel, quite frankly, will not be possible to capture quickly, not without a significant commitment of Astartes or other specialist forces. Therefore, unless one of the above is aquired and as much as it pains me to admit it, this final stage, at least, will most likely come to a plain and simple siege. I would recommend attempts be made to negotiate the remaining garrison's surrender and attempt to avoid needlessly wasting Guardsmen lives, but I do not think that this will bear much fruit considering the likelihood of the remaining troops by this stage being predominantly T'au.

"That concludes my briefing on Fort Ko'Var; I hope to see all of you again for our inevitable victory toast in that fortress's command center." Colonel Arvin finished up. "I would also like to give my personal thanks to Colonel Lilzton and TF Liberation, as well Captains Pekala and Vanian's Rebel Companies for providing much of this information."
"Now, with all of that said, I assume you all have questions or comments to make. The floor is now open..."
submitted by Thatsidechara_ter to war_for_Gryllus [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 22:09 TheMysticNamedFae Fandoms! (OC x CC) (Doubling!)

I am looking for a long-term Fandom RP with OC x CC, double up! Doesn´t matter to me if we do an intertwined storyline in the same fandom/universe with our OCs interacting or if we give them separate storylines!
I just want to gush over my favorite CCs and want to give you the chance to do the same! Also, you can call me Fae and I am 21+! I have nine years of roleplaying experience and I am a Novella writer, meaning: I write a LOT. Looking for someone to match that!
Please be:
My Fandoms
Once you read ALL of this and are interested, please reach out to me, send me an example of your writing, and tell me what exactly you are interested in! Of course, I will also send my writing sample over so we can see if we mesh well.
submitted by TheMysticNamedFae to roleplaying [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 22:09 Potential_Scholar650 Assessment of the current situation in Georgia

Assessment of the current situation in Georgia
Hello, greetings from Canada! 🇨🇦
First and foremost, I wish to express my sincere apologies for intervening in Georgian politics and offering advice on the current situation. However, I will try to assist to the best of my ability, drawing on my expertise as a political analyst who has studied similar cases.
I have been closely monitoring the situation since April 3rd, when the government decided to reintroduce the law for consideration following last year's protests. I was profoundly surprised by this decision, considering that in 2023, a significant portion of the Georgian population opposed it. Moreover, the law sparked mass protests and riots. The government's decision to revive this law risked further escalation. Additionally, government officials had publicly stated that they would not reintroduce the law, which, as it transpired, was a blatant falsehood uttered by high-ranking officials. Such unequivocal and deceptive statements from prominent figures are unexpected and unacceptable.
Regarding the current situation, I understand that the law was passed on its third reading, despite ongoing mass protests that have persisted for more than a month. It is deeply regrettable to observe that the government appears to disregard the views of its citizens and their genuine disappointment with the law. Governments are elected by the people, and the voice of the populace should take precedence. No law is worth enforcing if it jeopardizes even one person's safety. During the protests, the safety of the people is not guaranteed. I have witnessed firsthand the violent treatment of some protesters and the government's irresponsible actions. Even if we set aside the fact that this law runs counter to Georgian interests and undermines Georgia's Euro-Atlantic aspirations, as well as media freedom and human rights, the sheer number of injuries sustained by individuals due to this law should be reason enough for its repeal. However, as previously mentioned, the Georgian government appears indifferent to the safety of its citizens. Despite the peaceful nature of the protests, the government perceives the demonstrators as a minority led by frivolous organizations. This is regrettable, as those protesting are genuinely committed to protecting their country. I can attest to this, having participated in the protests myself. Witnessing Georgians advocate for Europe in this manner brought tears to my eyes. Your unwavering commitment to European ideals is unparalleled, and you embody the essence of European civilization.
As for the situation itself and what I think needs to be done, I believe, as I stated before, that the government shows little care for the protesters and their opinions, viewing them as a misinformed, inexperienced population.
We know that after the law is passed on the 3rd reading, it's impossible to revoke it unless the president vetoes it, and later on, the government decides not to "escape" the veto, which would result in the law being revoked. This means there is only one way for the law to be revoked. However, Georgian Dream revoking the law is an unlikely scenario. Hence, as an expert, I believe that the law will finally be passed in June of this year.
As for the protests themselves, I will share my honest opinion. I admire you all. Seeing you fight for democracy like this means a lot. Greece invented democracy, and today, the Georgian people are safeguarding it. You will not only be part of Georgian history but also of world history, my friends!
It would be an honor to offer you advice, but I'm hesitant, as I believe your choices make you unique, and you don't necessarily require my suggestions. Nevertheless, I'll try to be of help!
I appreciate the independence of the protests and the ability of the people to make decisions like this, especially at such a young age. Georgia is truly raising the best generation ever!
However, your protests need a face, one face, one person who will lead it—a person chosen by the people, a person who will become a hero. Preferably, this person should be a non-political figure, but one of you, a random protester willing to take on the responsibility. This will prove that you are not connected to any political party. It's likely that public opinion about you will change positively. Fight together. You don't need political parties, you need yourselves. You need to find a leader among yourselves, not in some political party!
Secondly, keep going. Don't let the summer heat quell the protests. Keep fighting. Nothing is more important than Georgia's future right now. It's challenging, but keep the flame alive and keep it burning. You guys are the beating heart not only of Georgia but also of Western civilization. Keep going!
Thirdly, your protests go beyond Georgia. They will affect every Western country and your neighbors. You are capable of altering the geopolitical reality in the region. The loss of Russian influence would be a new chapter not only for Georgia but also for the Caucasus. You are fighting for Azerbaijan and Armenia as well.
Lastly, create a plan. The only thing I can criticize is the lack of a plan and action. The protests have shown a lot about the government, revealing its true colors. While it has completely lost the public's trust, there has been no real progress regarding the law itself. Georgian Dream is very close to passing it. Therefore, you will need to change tactics so that your voice is heard louder or to force them to back down. Protests should be peaceful but very clear that Georgians are ready to fight, and their wishes need to be respected by the government. Create a plan, organize more protests—preferably on weekends when more people can attend—and organize the arrival of people from other cities and regions of Georgia. You need as many people as possible, and you need to present an ultimatum. As the Latin saying goes, "quid pro quo," meaning "this for that." In this case, you revoke the law, and I will guarantee a non-violent resolution. Attempt to meet with Georgian Dream officials, potential protest leaders as I mentioned earlier. Create documentation stating your demands. Try to meet with officials. The leader must be ready to meet with Georgian Dream officials with arguments and clear opinions of the people, along with documentation stating the people's demands. These meetings will attempt to find a peaceful and diplomatic solution. However, I honestly see the government accepting this request as very unlikely. But you need to try and state that you want a peaceful resolution. However, it's unlikely that Georgian Dream will back down, which leads us to the controversial question: what should happen? Should you wait for elections? Or should there be a revolution?
Now, that is entirely up to Georgians, and I cannot have any say in this matter. But waiting until the elections would grant Georgian Dream more time, and it would be a strategic win for them. They might attempt to rig the elections, which would most likely cause the EU not to open negotiation talks with Georgia. The conclusion is that waiting until the elections would be risky in terms of EU-Georgia relations. It's entirely up to Georgians, but giving up the protests now would be a loss in a battle but not the war. Should you cause a revolution now? I will reiterate that a peaceful resolution against governments showing signs of dictatorship is very unlikely. It usually works against democratic countries but not against authoritarian countries. The 2020/2021 Belarus protests are a perfect example of that. Keep the pressure on and be ready to fight. That's my advice. Keep going and don't look back. The past isn't more important than today and tomorrow—the future. You guys will make it! 🇬🇪
You have my blessing 🙏
submitted by Potential_Scholar650 to Sakartvelo [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 22:08 TheMysticNamedFae Fandoms! (OC x CC) (Doubling!)

I am looking for a long-term Fandom RP with OC x CC, double up! Doesn´t matter to me if we do an intertwined storyline in the same fandom/universe with our OCs interacting or if we give them separate storylines!
I just want to gush over my favorite CCs and want to give you the chance to do the same! Also, you can call me Fae and I am 21+! I have nine years of roleplaying experience and I am a Novella writer, meaning: I write a LOT. Looking for someone to match that!
Please be:
My Fandoms
Once you read ALL of this and are interested, please reach out to me, send me an example of your writing, and tell me what exactly you are interested in! Of course, I will also send my writing sample over so we can see if we mesh well.
submitted by TheMysticNamedFae to RoleplayPartnerSearch [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 22:06 broatfu [PC] [unknown] hack and slash from a third person view

Hi, I have a game which I remember little to nothing about, but I'll try to mention everything I remember so we can find it.
The game was a hack and slash type game, With a 3rd person view (similar to for honour, but not in fighting style) the game was not point and click, not up to down.
Keep in mind the game is old.
It was set in some medieval era.
You can choose your character and the map.
From the characters I remember: various types of medieval European soldiers, a some sort of a monster, a wizard/witch. There was much more characters but those are the ones I can remember.
From the maps I remember: a map where you are in some sort of a castle it was more of a maze for me, where a strong scary monster used to hide down in the ground floor, as soon as you fall there the monster will attack you. The second map I remember was a castle but in one of its paths there was lava on the sides.
I believe the game was supposed to be PvP or PvE, I used to play it alone, against no one but that monster down there, I didn't know how to play against others or anything as I didn't know how to read or write.
I'm sorry for the vagueness in my information, that's how I remember it! Even my memories are a bit blurry as it was long time ago.
submitted by broatfu to tipofmyjoystick [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 22:04 MAXperformanceMAX [M35] Getting set up with supervisor's single friends, I don't know how to feel about this

I am 35 with a 3yo daughter. Daugther's mom left me in summer of 2022 after 8 years together (3rd year married) so I have been single a bit less than 2 years. There were some relationship issues over our different personality that was there (I am passive, introverted, little depressive while she is type A, extroverted and little manic), that I thought we could work through, but a lot of stress during pandemic (job change, parents health, house renovation, new child etc. in the middle of it all) caused the relationship to break down. I have been living alone for year and a half now, and have my daughter during weekdays. Divorce is not settles yet since daughter's mom needs to pay me quite a bit of alimony + child support and she is obviously salty about that.
I am doing alright on my own. Spending quality time with my daughter and working hard during the week. Reading, catching up with friends, chores on weekends. I am a bit lonely on weekend nights yes, and I would like to be part of a family unit eventually, but just so busy with life and not letting anything fall through the crack. In a way, I relate to those depressive dilettante types in the novels, and find the current situation as a sad divorced dad "fitting" for me.
Women at work, and partners of my friends, have been relentless with trying to offer their friends. I guess they hate to see me wasting away my best years? I don't know where I could fit a serious relationship into my current life though. Not sure if anyone my age is okay with meeting me like once every other week.
I am invited to my supervisor's birthday party in a couple weeks, and learned through others that she showed my photos + shared who I am to her single friends (my supervisor and go back a long time and are close friends outside of work as well, so she knows a lot about me) and promised them that I will be at the birthday party, ready to be set up with them. To my knowledge, they are smart, attractive women with promising careers. I already know who one of those friends is, because a woman was staring very intently at my daughter and I at a grocery store that I thought it was very strange, and I later I saw her in a group photo with my supervisor. In fact, the party is more grandiose than previous years and will be taking place in a more remote place, meaning there is no escaping in the middle (which I tend to do when I run out of social energy, which happens pretty fast).
This should be exciting, but actually it is giving me an extremely complex, difficult to explain feeling. I feel pressured to show up and be on my best behaviour, given these are my supervisor's friends, and I have some social anxiety. The pressure is making me want to not go, which I can't, given my relationship with the birthday girl and that her friends have been promised that I will be there.
edit: my close friends tell me I should definitely show up and put in effort because they think it will be very good for me to finally go out there and meet women
I also feel zero percent ready for a relationship, in fact, this feeling I have might be related to fact that I am still not over the breakdown of my marriage. I have always been popular with girls, but never been good at reacting properly to that popularity, and am probably one of those "emotionally unavailable" men. There is a long list of girls who came to me looking for love but left disappointed.
I'm already nervous and thinking non-stop about how this invitation to "be set up" with my supervisor's friends is giving me negative emotions like a rock thrown into a calm pond. Or maybe the pond wasn't calm to begin with? I need some perspective on how to think/behave/approach this situation.
TL;DR - divorced guy with a child, busy life, don't feel ready for a relationship. Invited to my supervisor's birthday party where she invited her single eligible bachelorette friends who want to meet me, and it's making me feel really nervous and complicated inside.
submitted by MAXperformanceMAX to relationships [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 22:04 TheHeavierSigh I (24F) need help mending with my parents (58F and 62M)

I remember being 12 and looking up unclaimed bodies around my area because I called my dad for 2 years straight and he never picked up.
My mother used to tell me that I’m worthless anytime I did something that she didn’t agree with. It could be over the stupidest things too. She was always deliberately cruel.
Like when my job promoted me to another store, and I was bragging to her about my accomplishments, she said “they’re just doing that to get rid of you. Nobody likes you”.
I’m turning 24 soon and it just sort of hit me that I could never be like either of them. It’s hard to be a good parent, but it’s not that hard to just be an ok one.
I want to reconnect with them so bad, because what am I doing that’s so bad that I don’t deserve parents?? I never argued with them as a kid/teenager. I never drank/smoke/ snuck out or talked back to them. I got excellent grades in school. But it’s like I got dealt a shitty hand.
I got a job at 16 and i was apparently deemed good enough to parent myself. My mom stopped grocery shopping so I had to spend my paycheck to buy groceries/food and then when I got home she would yell at me for hours because I didn’t “get the right food” and I must hate her because I didn’t buy the organic stuff she wanted. But I was only working part-time at a restaurant for $9 an hour and couldn’t afford it. She also gave me $600 a month bill that was also my responsibility with the rest of my paycheck.
Or when I graduated high school and needed to go college, she wouldn’t fill my Fafsa out (she did the same thing to my brother and he had to drop out and go to community college) and kept pushing it back. I had to get a 2nd job to pay my tuition, so I was going to school full-time, and then had a full-time and part-time job.
She figured out the days I got paid, and would drive me to a check cashing place and take most of my money. I couldn’t keep that life up of working 12+ hour days every day and flunked out of my college. I reenrolled in my local community college, but I was just so lost that I ended up quitting.
She brought a new house when I was in college that had a run-down in law suite. She told me if I fixed it I could live in there and pay rent and have some more privacy. I worked extra hours and got a 3rd job, found a plumber and electrician, and would spend hours every week to fix the place, and wouldn’t you know it as soon as I was done she sold the property and took all the profit. She did the same thing to a broken down car that she had, I paid $4k to take it to a mechanic and when we got it back, she “never said that” and still drives that car to this day.
When we were moving (again) i decided to just get an apartment with my boyfriend because I was getting sick and tired of being used. She found out and hid the leasing information that I got from a complex, and guilt tripped me by saying she wouldn’t be able to afford things on just her paycheck and would starve. So I quit looking, just for her to scream at me a week later that I was a useless burden and that I was the one financially abusing her.
So I packed my bags, slept on the dirty floor of my boyfriend’s parents trailer for 2 weeks, got a round of the stimulus checks, and moved out to our own apartment. When I went back to her place to pack the last of my stuff she was snatching things out of my hand, threw my boyfriend’s laptop and tried to choke him/throw him out.I pushed her away from him and she told the family that we both were hitting her, so they don’t talk to me anymore. She was also insulting him for his family bring poor, and making fun of his dead grandmother.
And as I’m getting older and my prefrontal cortex is developing I just don’t understand them. I can understand hurtful things being said in the moment, but to continually be like that means you are making a conscious effort to be a terrible person.
But I miss them so much. I want a mom to talk to about my day and complain about my co-workers with. I want to watch movies at her place again and eat junk food. But she doesn’t deserve it, and I feel like I do. I don’t know what to do.
I think the worst part is that I’m actually my mother’s favorite. She treated my brothers worse and when I complain about her, they’re quick to bring that up and dismiss my feelings.
There’s plenty of more terrible and down right weird things that she does. Like she used to beat me and my brothers with electric wires as a kid. Or recently, she was renting out one of our old homes and my partner and I moved in and we were paying MORE THAN market rent. And she forced us to move out after only 6 weeks because I said no to helping her on a side project because I was busy. But I “owed her” because she could’ve “charged me more”.
Which I should’ve known it would end this way honestly.
My parents are divorced and my father lives in a different city. He only calls me when he needs something and honestly I have stopped answering.
I’m not sure what to do. Advice?
TL;DR: my parent’s are terrible, I still want a relationship with them.
submitted by TheHeavierSigh to relationships [link] [comments]


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