My husband (27M) and I (38M) are doing a trip across Europe at the moment. He’s American and I’m British and we reside mostly in the UK. We’ve had experiences with boomers (too many experiences) but our travels across Europe have been something else.
95% of these boomers were, it seemed, American.
Ok some examples. Brace yourself. Here we go:

1. Venice. A city of tiny islets connected by bridges and where water taxis, gondolas and walking over bridges is commonplace. On approaching a very narrow bridge, I noticed a clump of people. As we got closer I saw a woman shouting, and then I heard her. She’s American, standing with her arms outstretched as to block access and she was SCREAMING: “Don’t walk on this bridge!! WE ARE TAKING PHOTOS ON OUR CELLPHONES!” Behind her, her friends were all posing while simultaneously struggling to operate their phones. Obviously people were just ignoring her, so she’s becoming irate. By the time we got to her I can’t help myself (I never have been able to) so I said: “Get fucked lady.” I think my backpack might have hit her as I pushed past her. Ooops.
2. At a water taxi station, a group of 8 or so boomers didn’t have the correct tickets to scan to get on the taxi taxi so they just PUSHED the ticket barriers until they gave way so they could board. This was noticed by the taxi boat staff, however, and they the departure of the boat was delayed while they had to phone the police.
3. On a taxi gondola (one that goes directly across a canal, not one that takes you on a romantic tour) a boomer boarded after us. The ‘driver’ tells him in clear English to sit down. He doesn’t comply, instead choosing to parade up and down causing the gondola to destabilise and even for water to come aboard, even before we’ve left the port. He has the absolute temerity to tell the driver to “KEEP THIS THING STEADY! I'M TRYING TO TAKE PHOTOS YOU IDIOT!” The driver tells him to either sit down or leave. He reluctantly obeys but as he sits down mutters something like “… won the second world war!”
4. We went to an ultra high end restaurant on our final night in Venice and at the table next to us are a couple of American boomers. The man had a very unusual complexion, looking like he’s spent far too long in the sun. When their bill came, he threw a FIT because they won’t accept AmEx. “This is FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS!” He screams at the waiter who is about 18 and doesn’t really understand what is being said to him. “WE USE THIS CARD ALLL THE TIME AT HOME!” I leaned over and said: “Errrrrr, so in Europe AmEx isn’t often accepted because of the very high transaction fees. Perhaps you could-“ to which he snapped at me: “Mind your own fucking business! Nobody asked you or your boyfriend.”
5. In Zürich, we had to contend with a boomer who kept getting in the way of us taking photos. It was like he was deliberately standing in our way. At one point he seemed to almost accidentally touch my husband. Eventually I said: “hey bro, we’re trying to take a picture of us together. Can you give us some room?” To which he snapped: “You don’t own this hill you know!!”
6. We had a 7 hour train journey from one country to another. We had a first class reservation. Once we boarded, we found two boomer couples sitting around a table, which our two seats were part of. I explained we had a reservation. One of them said: “Well you can’t have, we have this table.” I produced the reservation and said: “You can clearly see it says we are in this coach, in first class, in these seats. Can I see YOUR reservation?” They refused, with the man from the other couple saying: “You don’t even look like you can afford first class tickets, son. Why don’t you run along before I get security?” I turned to my husband and said: “Go and get someone.” He did so, and they spend the next 15 minutes berating me, saying I’d be “very embarrassed” when I am told to leave the train. One of them even said: “Yeah they’ll show you up like the poor you are.” Husband returned with ticket inspector who looked at our tickets and then asks them to produce theirs. They argue briefly, and upon being threatened with removal from the train, produce tickets for second class with no reservations. The inspector tells them to leave the first class section “immediately or this will be a matter for the police” (which she said in French so I had the great pleasure of translating). They reluctantly got up to go and made a HUGE huff and puff about it. One of them pulled his bag off a luggage rack and managed to hit a child sitting near the rack with it, and then verbally abused the child’s parents when they dared to complain. At the next stop the train stopped for about 30 minutes and announcements were made that there was an “unexpected delay”. The ticket lady from before came to tell us that the four of them had been asked to leave because of their behaviour in second class, refused to do so, and therefore the police were brought in.
7. In Prague, went to a very old family owned restaurant. One of the family is a university student who happened to get talking to a boomer couple. He’s studying computing science and artificial intelligence. They tell him he is “contributing to the end of humanity”. The male boomer adds: “I was teaching people how to use Microsoft 20 years ago, I know what computers can do! And this is very dangerous….!” Needless to say, this 19 year old who understands only basic English is very confused.
8. In Milan, a boomer couple walked past me in a shop and I heard the woman say: “Fucking useless, this Italy. Everyone here speaks in foreign.”
9. In an airport to travel from Germany to Zürich, a boomer couple decided to start regulating the line to board the jet. They stood in the way of the gate desk, letting only older people past and holding younger people back. I snapped at once: “What are you doing? Get out of the way, man” and as I walked past him I heard “… elders first! Elders first!” When I was on the jet and seated, the wife came up to me ONCE WE WERE IN THE AIR and said I had been “very disrespectful” to her husband and “you are now required to apologise.” My husband, seeing I was on the verge of committing a murder, said: “Look, you got your moment of glory earlier in controlling the queue. Take your pound of flesh and fuck off.” She then snaps: “OR WHAT?” to which my husband calmly replies: “Or we make a complaint right now about your disruptive behaviour onboard an aircraft. Don’t tend to like that, the Swiss.” And then he sits down and instantly puts his AirPods in and turning away from her. I had to look out of the window so she didn’t see me smiling.
10. In Milan we visited a museum showcasing technologies through the ages. It was enormous, and very comprehensive. In one display case they have an original Macintosh from 1984. As I stand looking at it, I became aware of some raised - distinctly American - voices. “What the hell!! Are they saying they MADE the computer?!!? WE MADE THE COMPUTER.” I can’t resist (again) and turn to him and say to this group of 6 boomers: “Actually, ladies and gents, the modern inventor of the computer is Alan Turing, an English guy who broke the German’s Enigma code during World War 2. This Macintosh is here just because of its historical significance-“ I didn’t get any further cos he cut me off with “UGH. So it’s the ENGLISH stealing our tech now!”

I am writing this because we were both have been genuinely taken aback by what we have experienced. I have travelled extensively in Europe and never quite come up against this before, so I don’t know if it means that the Boomer problem is getting worse or what.

TLDR: not sure on whether friendships when you’re on your 20s do look like this but currently thinking in ways in which keeping this new friendship is worth it based on my whole thinking of “I’ll always keep those who were close to me in my heart regardless of us drifting apart”
I met this girl a couple of months back when I was in my home country trying to figure out my life. I had a ton of free time since I was working part time and she didn’t work so she also had a ton of time. We only became friends because we would go to the gym every day at the same day and our trainer would make us workout together and eventually all our talking led us to go out to eat, parties, friends, etc. We bonded over our shared messy family life, unhealthy attachment issues and coming out of bad relationships. We went on some trips together that gave us more to bond over but now I’m out of my home country again and so is she. We’ve kept our friendship due to us talking every day for over two hours while I work and she works. It’s honestly not healthy given that it is distracting me for work but I am able to manage so why not.
We shared our messed up stories but we display them differently. She likes being the centre of attention and making people do as she pleases whereas I am more manipulative to get others to do what I want.
We’ve been good to keep each other’s terribles behaviours at bay, kind of like talking to someone and not being ashamed of that part of you.
My family got a puppy recently and I’m the main caretaker which took a ton of attention out of this friendship and she publicly said she slightly resented the puppy for making me less available.
This friendship was based on both of us venting to each other but perhaps with me being more busy now, I realized she only complains. She would tell me she’s excited about something and I could think how she’s going to get mad at them and complain to me about them and that has indeed been the case. I have my hands full with the dog and my job so I have stopped talking to her in an effort to keep my mind clear and not feel overwhelmed in all areas of my life.
I don’t think this friendship is balanced but rather it’s been more of me trying to give advice, it failing and just being there for each other but I currently don’t have the energy to deal with problems that are not my own.
Does this mean the friendship is doomed, I am lacking compassion or should I be there for that person even when I feel I cannot be there for them?

We recently received a letter from my HOA threatening with legal actions when we have done NOTHING wrong.
a relative of mine who is also living in this same HOA community have been asking us to dogsit for a few hours a day while they are out, they drop off the dog and always pick them up in the evening. The letter we received accompanied by a photo that the management office said was taken secretly by residents, and used it to make a complaint about us having a dog. The HOA is requesting that we register the dog, provide immunization, and annual fee, otherwise they will proceed with legal actions... I mean it's not our dog?
Does no one even bother to come talk to us and understand what situation is before acting like your the god damn president and report somebody? Does the HOA not even bother to do their investigation and immediately believe the words of those who made the complaint? I fucking hate how one-sided HOA is, it's also soooo creepy that people are just secretly taking photos of other people right from their window. like mind your own fucking business.
what can i use against HOA? invasion of privacy? creepy residents? god knows what other pictures they take... I really hope they're not taking secret photos of children playing and make a complaint about that....

Happy Tuesday, Barkada --

The PSE gained 92 points to 6604 ▲1.4%

Shout-out to Atot for saving the Inside the Boardroom special [MB link] for their "lunch read" (at least it's not a porcelain chair?), to Trina Cerdenia for retweeting the ITB episode with highlights, to Tenkan Sen for noting the bloodbath that has been the recent (and even not-so-recent) IPO market, to Just'n for recognizing that in most cases a secondary IPO is for exit liquidity, to Enrico P. Villanueva for mentioning the ITB article as a jumping-off point for further research and analysis, to Jonathan Burac for providing interesting background on auditors and former-auditors as Independent Directors, to kalel.RON for having their mind blown by my reveal that I'm not Matteo Guidicelli (deep cut for the OGs), to Tirador for the straight-forward review ("pangit an ipo yan"), and to arkitrader for the Monday vibes GIF.
Thanks also to the many readers who wrote in privately with praise, follow-up questions, and comments about yesterday's Inside the Boardroom special episode with OceanaGold PH's President, Joan Adaci-Cattiling. I won't list your names because you didn't choose to make your comments public, but I appreciate all of the notes that I've received and it's encouraging to see the interesting in the ITB series. Thank you!
Just for background, the Inside the Boardroom series takes a lot of extra work to organize, conduct the interview, and write the content for each episode. MB does not receive anything in return for an Inside the Boardroom interview; I only ask for direct access to the c-suite executive and the understanding that all questions that I ask will be direct (not trying to avoid unfavorable parts), to-the-point (not flowery), and without honorifics or deference (no titles or fawning).
I have a great amount of respect for companies and executives that agree to those terms, as there are many companies here that would never in a million years allow their executives to speak publicly, let alone on topics that are not 100% positive and dripping with marketing talking points.
OK, enough of that, let's get to the new stuff!

▌In today's MB:

• COMING UP: This week
  • PH: OGP 1st week
  • PH: BSP rate decision
  • PH: UBP SRO start
  • INT'L: US April inflation
• OceanaGold falls 6% in 1st day of trading
• CREIT, MREIT, and FILRT declare Q1 divs
• FMETF halted due to broken price tracker

▌Daily meme Subscribe (it's free) Today's email

▌Main stories covered:

• [COMING_UP] The week ahead... PH: While we had the OceanaGold PH [OGP 12.50 ▼6.2%; 100% avgVol] IPO yesterday, the biggest waves will be made on Thursday when the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas (BSP) meets to evaluate our interest rate situation. The Union Bank [UBP 34.60 ▼6.0%; 83% avgVol] stock rights offer period will also start on Thursday. International: The only datapoint that I’m following for this week is the US April inflation report, which we should get early Thursday morning.
  
  • MB: The inflation metagame is where my mind’s at these days, and that’s all about inflation expectations. Not so much where inflation “is”, but where people (and companies) think inflation “will be” in the future. Inflation expectations matter because they can cause dramatic changes. For individuals, expectations of higher inflation can lead to changes in purchasing behavior and higher wage demands. For corporations, expectations of higher inflation can cause companies to increase their prices. I think you can see why the US Federal Reserve and the BSP are most afraid of these expectations; they’re something of a self-fulfilling prophecy. There should be a lot of analysis to consume on this point after the US CPI report is out on Thursday morning.
• [UPDATE] OceanaGold falls 6% in first day of trading... OceanaGold PH [OGP 12.50 ▼6.2%; 100% avgVol] [link] dropped a little over 6% in its first day of trading, falling ₱0.82 from its ₱13.33/share IPO price to close at ₱12.50/share. The highest the stock traded was ₱13.34 in the first 20 minutes of trading before consistent selling pressure pushed OGP price to an intra-day low of ₱12.46 around 1:30 PM. The stock mounted a significant recovery to around ₱12.90/share before a massive amount of late-day selling pushed it back down to the ₱12.50 level at the close.
  
  • MB: Since this is the first IPO of the year, the questions in my inbox tell me that we need to quickly cover a few points before we move forward. First, yes, OGP does have a stabilization fund, but it’s important to remember that a stabilization fund isn’t supposed to entirely prevent a stock’s price from falling. A stab fund is best thought of as a discretionary pool of money that a paid agent (in this case, BDO Capital) can use to buy shares on the open market to provide some artificial demand for the stock. It has a limited amount of money (usually around 10% of the value of the total IPO) and a limited amount of time (30 days), and once either of those is gone, so is the fund. The other thing to remember about stab funds is that it’s entirely up to the agent to deploy the limited resources of the fund. They might be hands-off for days before suddenly smashing the market with a swarm of buy orders to soak up the selling pressure, or they might constantly drip artificial buy orders into the market. Or they might employ a chaotic mixture of those strategies. Stability funds are a little bit of short-term downside protection and a handy pool of exit liquidity, but they shouldn’t be seen as IPO Investing insurance or a protection against loss! Be careful out there!
• [DIVS] CREIT, MREIT, and FILRT all declare Q1 dividends... Citicore Energy REIT [CREIT 2.83 ▲0.3%; 345% avgVol] [link] and MREIT [MREIT 12.96 ▲0.1%; 96% avgVol] [link] declared their Q1 dividends on Monday, while Filinvest REIT [FILRT 2.93 ▼2.0%; 47% avgVol] [link] declared its Q1 dividend on Friday. For CREIT, the dividend will be ₱0.049/share (stable), payable on July 9, representing 101% of CREIT’s Q1 distributable income (DI). For MREIT, the dividend will be ₱0.246 (stable), payable on June 14, representing 93% of MREIT’s DI. For FILRT, the dividend will be ₱0.062/share (falling), payable on June 7, representing 99.9% of FILRT’s DI for the quarter.
  
  • MB: The name of the REIT game is stability. While REITs cannot help what happens in the macroeconomic world with interest rates (all REITs got smacked when rates rose to fight inflation), what separates a good REIT from a bad one (in my opinion) is the management team’s ability to effectively worry about everything else to protect the income stream from loss. Bonus points should be awarded to teams who grow their dividend over time. Between these three companies, both CREIT and MREIT have shown the ability to deliver a stable dividend. CREIT has even managed to grow its dividend 11%. That leaves FILRT, which has continued to deliver giant turd after giant turd to its bagholders in the form of smaller and smaller dividends. FIRLT’s first three quarterly divs were at the ₱0.112/share level, and their most recent div was just ₱0.062. That’s a 44.6% drop. I don’t have a thesaurus within reach capable of accurately describing to you just how bad that is for a REIT. It’s not like the company suffered some major trauma that nearly halved the dividend; the div level has fallen four times over the past twelve quarters and in each of the last three.
• [NEWS] FMEFT halted due to broken price tracker... FMETF [FMETF 105.20 ▲0.9%; 5% avgVol] [link], the PSE’s only exchange-traded fund, was halted by the PSE at 1 PM yesterday after it was discovered that its iNav had failed to update since 11:30 AM. FMETF said that it would “coordinate” with its “service provider” to implement a fix, but as of this writing, FMETF has not advised that a fix has been implemented nor has the PSE lifted the halt.
  
  • MB: This problem happened six times last year, and while it’s great that we made it into May before we had our first FMETF outage of this year, it’s still discouraging to see “iNav not calculating” as a problem that we need to contend with in 2024. For those who are unfamiliar, FMETF is an exchange-traded fund, so FMEFT’s per-share price is derivative of the per-share prices of all the shares that FMETF owns/represents. The “iNav” that keeps breaking is the number that represents the current value of FMETF’s holdings, expressed as a “NAV per unit” or “NAV per share”. So, if the iNav isn’t updating, then traders are not getting the kind of information they need to place FMETF stock trades. “We need more ETFs” is something that I’ve heard traders say for years now, and while I still count myself as part of that group, I wish we could see some forward progress in the maintenance of FMETF before we introduce anything more exotic to the market.

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DISCLAIMER: This theory uses text from the leaked 2.3 relics, Firefly's signature light cone, the current Glamoth planar relics, and relevant lines from dialogue in the story. I'll do my best to cite my sources for everything!
Let's get down to business! Who, or what, is Titania exactly?
According to both planar relics, she's the "Empress". That's about the only thing they agree on though, because the sphere describes her as a benevolent ruler who brought civilization to Glamoth's outer colonies, while the rope actually tells us that she's got no power (but I think they mean political power, since it also claims she telepathically commanded the Iron Cavalry and that seems kinda powerful), and that the ruling council created her in response to the Swarm's attack. Here's a longer excerpt from the rope's description:

"In the dreams that these warriors are woven into, the sole meaning of their existence is to guard Titania and her 'empire'. In their short lives, they studied, fought, received the Empress' commands, faced the enemy fearlessly, and died with honor."

It's pretty damning evidence that "empire" is written in quotation marks like this in most of these relics, and I've got theories about what kind of state Glamoth was (cough cough. Interstellar colonizers, cough), but that's another discussion. What matters here is that Titania definitely isn't a real Empress. Maybe she's a puppet ruler, or a symbol but not a person, or even some kind of war tactic AI skynet situation to direct troops, or whatever floats your boat.
I don't think she's Firefly, though. IMO it'd be a little tacky to get another identity reveal after Sam, but I wouldn't be making this post if I didn't have a stronger argument than that. Before 2.2, there were a lot of theories about her identity as Sam, the Stellaron Hunter... specifically theories that wanted to separate that identity from "Firefly", either by claiming Sam might be an AI or a second personality, or by claiming that Firefly is an ordinary girl (or Titania) who found the armor and decided to wear it. Lemme go over my counterarguments for both these points, and then I'll get to my own theory.
After her first "death" to the meme, Black Swan helps us investigate what Firefly was doing in the hotel, and a certain line of dialogue raised many questions. To quote:

Firefly: "Let's get going..."

(Here Black Swan proposes that she's with another person)

Firefly: "Why did you...!? This isn't what we agreed on..."

(Here Black Swan proposes that somebody betrayed her)

Firefly: "Mecha...!? Why..."

(Here Black Swan points out it's weird of her to say 'mecha')
Thing is, Black Swan's memory magic never shows us this second person, so we can only assume she's talking to the armor, right? Except... we've never seen her and Sam in the same place together. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's actually pretty big proof here. When she transforms into Sam, or back out of Firefly, the armor just appears and disappears in a bunch of flames. Of course it's probably that her transforming device is the reason why, but even without it there's a line in Genshin that could explain this too. In one of the Traveler's profile voicelines, Paimon confirms that weapons and personal items simply appearing out of nowhere is a regular thing that happens in-universe, and it's likely HSR uses this same rule. I don't think there's any hard evidence to suggest the armor even exists physically until she uses her transforming device, so we can rule out this mystery person being Sam.
IMO, it was probably more like an upset reaction to somebody else who brought up the 'mecha' thing first. Maybe something like this:

???: "Sorry Firefly, you can't go off-script. You have to activate your mecha."
Firefly: "Mecha...!? Why..."

It could've been Silver Wolf on the phone, or maybe even Elio, but it doesn't really matter.
Another thing I've seen people argue is that her personality when we first meet Firefly in Golden Hour just doesn't match up with Sam. Voicelines from the Stellaron Hunters, dialogue from SW visiting the Express, and one of Blade's story chapters all describe him as the ruthless and cold-blooded muscle of the group, which is very different from the sweetheart tour guide we met. I think people can't understand how these two versions of her coexist, but they're not mutually exclusive at all. What if Sam's efficiency is because she dislikes being a weapon, and wants to get her jobs over with quickly? What if her mission in Penacony is Firefly's first chance to actually explore herself as "Firefly", without her scripts asking her to cause destruction? It's not like she's living a double life, more like she's still in the process of growing into her actual self. Maybe texting us stickers from Blade's phone was a baby step for her to experiment, since TB hadn't met Sam yet and she could be less serious, or maybe her armor's fingers have trouble typing, who even knows?? I think the "inconsistencies" in her behavior can be explained pretty easily once you realize she's still figuring herself out, y'know?
There's also tons of dialogue before and after her reveal that implies she's pretty familiar with combat, too. Her accurate description of Sampo is the obvious one (that man is NOT 5'9 though), but she also mentions that a baseball bat isn't an efficient weapon, and later in the story if you picked the Hanu trial for the auditions thing, she complains about not having her armor, brings up that it'll be hard for her to let go of the bazooka, and compares Hanu's rocket launcher to something called the "Soaring Locust II" (some kind of weapon attachment for her armor maybe?), so it's pretty clear that she's not a stranger to fighting. I don't think she's just some ordinary girl who picked up the mecha.
Finally, there's an inconsistency between her and Sam when talking about dreams. On the balcony, Firefly describes her dream about the scorched earth and the sapling, while Sam outright says he was "born without the ability to 'dream'." Thanks to her upcoming light cone, we've got an answer to this problem:

"Dreams remained too distant for her, as she gazed into the infinite darkness. Even as she sensed her consciousness slipping away, her mind replayed the same lingering memories over and over again..."

I think the simplest solution is that Firefly's 'dream' was a metaphor to explain her wish to the Trailblazer, like a visualization to help her and others understand those feelings. The light cone kinda implies she doesn't dream at all, instead she relives her memories from being in the Glamoth military. The rest of that paragraph goes on to describe a Swarm attack and her fellow Cavalryman dying around her without anybody to honor their sacrifice, which is a memory she'd only have if she fought alongside them.
So dreaming isn't an issue anymore, and her two personalities aren't mutually exclusive, and she wasn't talking to her armor in the hotel. But I hear you, none of that really proves she isn't Titania, right? Because at least the Empress has the same origin as the Iron Cavalry pilots... And that's a good point, but I've got evidence against it too.
According to Firefly's drip marketing, she was "Born as a weapon", and is "afflicted with the agony of Entropy Loss Syndrome due to genetic modification.", both of which line up perfectly with our understanding of the Cavalry pilots so far. One leaked relic says "Identical-looking warriors were birthed from the incubators", the rope says "the ruling council threw down the gauntlet and resolved to alter the essence of humanity", and even Firefly herself says "[Sam] is the cradle of my vitality, and the meaning of my birth." when asked about it in Dreamflux Reef. These statements only make sense if Firefly is one of these lab-grown humans, and literally born to pilot her armor.
If you're still not convinced, that line about Entropy Loss gives us another clue: since it's due to genetic modification, that means her "altered essence" is what causes it, so how exactly is she different from a regular human? Another leaked relic says "The armor deeply synchronized its sensory organs with that of the pilot", which is very weird phrasing until you remember that Welt told us Sam has superhuman perception after we got SW's message. That ability kinda contradicts everything Firefly said about her condition, so what if her genetic modifications are meant for that "synchronization"? Maybe it's supposed to increase combat effectiveness with some kind of symbiotic relationship between her and the armor? It definitely plays into more mecha anime tropes (NGE comes to mind), which she's already got a crazy amount of, and might even explain why she's naked while wearing her armor.
When she calls Sam the "cradle of [her] vitality", she means it's literally the only way she can guarantee her Entropy Loss won't flare up and cause her to dissociate. The armor keeps her grounded and conscious, even though it might be extremely painful to use it, given how Adin Rudd in the English dub almost seems to grunt out his lines, and how her kit and the boss' kit both include HP-draining mechanics. This is also why she appreciates the Dreamscape so much, as she told us in her secret balcony spot that she's able to "listen, and see, and touch, and think, and understand whatever I want with my body", as opposed to doing these things with Sam instead. Her cutscene with Blade suggests that it's not impossible for her to exit the armor, but I'm guessing she can't do this for long stretches of time, or that it comes with a risk of having her Entropy Loss worsen. The "icy medical cabin" she mentioned turned out to be Sam, after all.
This one's a bit more subjective, but I'll die on this hill so I might as well include it as a final argument. I honestly think her narrative themes benefit more if she's a regular Iron Cavalryman than if she's Titania. Her story is about an experimental soldier born to be a weapon, living only to kill bugs by the orders of a fake Empress she swore loyalty to, and never having a chance to experience life as a regular young girl. It's about recovering from war trauma, overcoming a medical condition and physical disability, and finally discovering an identity for herself instead of being defined by her use to other people. I'm so in love with this character concept, and while I plan to bankrupt myself over this girl no matter what direction Hoyo picks, I've got my fingers crossed that I'm right about her because it would be so amazing to see that story come to life about a character who stole my heart like this. ^w^
In conclusion? Firefly ≠ Titania, and I believe it's a more cohesive, impactful, and beautiful story if she's a soldier instead of an Empress.
Thank you for reading!
P.S. I'd love to hear anybody's thoughts in the comments, whether they agree with some of my points, or if they've got arguments of their own! Just remember to be civil, because at the end of the day we're all Firefly enjoyers and everybody's ideas are valid until we get more official information about her! :D

Why did the farmer visit the pharmacy? To speak with the farm-assist.
Hi and welcome to my post! Wanted to start off with a funny to me dad joke.
Nice to meet you, I'm Dylan! To put it simple, I am a single 22 year old man who has been pretty lonely in life and lacking in female connection and interaction. And part of what comes with that is the desire to be intimate with a person. I am very mature for my age and will always be respectful of your boundaries and feelings, especially with anything sexual. Lately all I have is myself when it comes to sexual desires, so I would like to have someone to keep company with in that regard too.
I'm just relaxing at work since there's nothing really going on and thinking about going home tonight and burning a woodwick candle. Perfect for when there's a storm outside. I love candles! 🕯️ Sometimes a campfire outside on a fall night or a crackling WoodWick candle is a relaxing constant among our busy and hectic world. It's nice to just disconnect, feel grounded and happy in your own little cozy space. Feeling calm and collected and at peace. Something that fewer people take the time to do these days.
I am seeking a woman around my age or older to build a close connection with that could possibly lead to a relationship and something intimate which includes the possibility of teasing/sharing pics etc. but only when we were comfortable. Figured I would be open in my Intentions as that's the best way to be.
You:
Kind, respectful, and easy going.
Comfortable with the idea of eventually sharing intimate things together.
Willing to eventually move off of Reddit.
Want something genuine and fun!
Are honest in your intentions and a good person to be around!
That's about it, we will get along great I know it.
I've been feeling a little bummed out lately. I always try and stay happy and see the best in things. But.. I've just been so alone. Most of my whole childhood and adult years have been spent feeling lonely. I grew up surrounded by cornfields which was peaceful but also has a lonely aspect to it. My family never really were close and never did anything as a family really. And part of it too is the fact that I never had any neighbors my age to interact with. But aside from that, my adult life has been very lonely. I'm just always by myself. I barely have any meaningful adult relationships or experiences, or even any friends.
I work a 3-11 job in building maintenance at my company world headquarters building which I love, but again it's very lonely. I work the off shift so the building is always empty. I don't get normal social interaction with people my age or a chance to build relationships. I only have 3 older men as co-workers and we are mostly in the basement away from any people on the floors from knowing our existence. I always walk the floors and see office people laughing and chatting with their coworkers and I just don't have that kind of experience. And just.. no one knows I exist really. Everyone probably assumes I have a lot of friends, but I'm struggling inside with being so alone and trying to meet people and get past the "hi how are you?" "I'm good thanks" stage. Most people don't seem to want to talk beyond that. And most women are already in relationships and thus it would seem weird to approach them in an office setting trying to get to know them deeper. But man those "hi how are yous" are the only real interactions I get during my day.. so thus I decided to come here lol. Rant over, sorry! I promise I'm not a downer. 😅
Now for some things about me!
As you can tell, I am very mature for my age and am polite and have good grammar which unfortunately not everyone my age does anymore lol. I am not active at all on social media/internet culture really and don't know much about all the slang the younger people these days use. I feel like I'm 50. 🤣
I am left handed which is pretty cool. I'm not much of a party person or a drinker, I much prefer a quiet night at home and maybe a beer or two on a weekend but that's about it. I am simple and stay out of drama and trouble and don't get much into politics or other things that cause drama with people. I much prefer a relaxing campfire and a night at home and to just let the world keep on turning haha. I consider myself pretty intelligent and mature, especially for my age which is why I'm open to older ladies.
Physically I'm 180 pounds, have brown hair, green eyes, and a typical build. There's a few pictures on my profile.
Some of my hobbies are:
• Photography
I have a Nikon D200 and D5500 that I love to shoot with. I love nature scenes, abstract, black and white/goth kinda photography, sunsets, etc. it's so fun to just let your mind explore. It's not about what camera you have, but those who are behind the camera! I'm gonna try and photograph the northern lights tonight!
• Cooking and baking
I loveeee to cook and bake! I enjoy making various meals but also love to just have a frozen pizza once in awhile or something like that. I recently made homemade chili which turned out great. I love to bake, especially in the fall! I love pies, cakes, pastries, cookies, etc. I restored a vintage KitchenAid mixer that needed tbe gearbox rebuilt. Eventually I would love to practice home canning my own food.
• Music
Oh my gosh, I like so much!! Alternative rock, punk, post punk, electronic, synth pop, psychedelic rock, hard rock, etc. I am very non judgemental and open when it comes to music. My three current favorite bands are Type O Negative, Joy Division, and the Cure.
• Nature walks and camping
I really enjoy camping, making fires, and relaxing by a campfire. I love to take walks outside and just enjoy the beauty and simplicity of nature. It's wonderful, especially in a world so focused on everything digital.
• Repairing things
I'm a maintenance guy and one of my hobbies is electronics repair so I am good with my hands and just all around good at troubleshooting and fixing all sorts of things around the house. Last week I helped my elderly neighbor get his tractor started, it needed a new component in the starting circuit. So I'm pretty handy which... Comes in handy! 😂
• Autumn 🍁
This isn't a hobby per say, but man do I love the fall!!! It's my absolute favorite time of the year. Oh my gosh. The beautiful colors, crisp cool air, misty and foggy days, rain, lack of bugs, being cuddled up with a candle or by the fire drinking a tea, etc. I love it! There's only two seasons for me. Fall, and waiting for fall! Haha.
• Scented Candles and incense
Going along with my love for fall, I absolutely love candles! I have like 30 something lol. 😂 Currently my favorite are WoodWick, which are owned by Yankee candle. They have such a soothing crackle and the scents are great! I also love to burn incense from time to time as well. I have cottagecore hippie vibes.
• Old houses and architecture
I love old houses! Especially 1900s and Victorian era homes. Old homes have so much character to them and are just so beautiful from a time when people took pride in their craft. I strongly dislike the modern cookie cutter cheap construction of homes today. I would love to live in an old home one day. I also love their architecture and uniqueness, as well as architecture of old cathedrals and other buildings.
• Relaxing
Basic I know, but sometimes on the weekend I just love to get cozy in bed and relax and put on a YouTube video or an album! 😊
That's about it for me, I'm a pretty laid back and simple person. My ideal person is someone who is respectful and honest! I am very straightforward and open minded and would hope that you are as well.
If I seem interesting to you at all I would love to hear from you!
Thank you so much for reading.

While scrolling about on Reddit, I found a post from TMS: https://www.reddit.com/TheModernSith/comments/12k37fu/the_sith_are_not_extremists/
"I would like to clear up some misconceptions that other groups may have on Sith philosophy. Namely, that the Sith are not some kind of extremists or militants in any way like it may seem to some others. Some may assume that because of the "darker" nature of Sith realism and our furious desire to get what we want, we are in league with these extreme ideologies we see today. This is simply not true. Just because we follow our passions doesn't mean that we enforce our beliefs. As human nature would have it this is more the domain of those kinds of proponents of "peace", "love", "benevolence", and "order" who are willing to use any means necessary to impose their ethics on others without their consent. In the end, they accomplish the opposite and are not so much confused on how they became violent as they welcome the opportunity for this kind of corrupted power.
~~~
The label extremist has become as meaningless today, as have terms like bigotry, racism, and something-or-another-phobic. It is more accurate to say that Sith aren't collectivists, which tends to exclude them from serving in militias or bowing down to governments. Also, when you address the matter of extreme ideologies, which do you refer to? The big bad white collectivists who still follow the funny mustache man's ideas? Maybe you mean the other mustache man's ideas, which lead to the slaughter of millions more? No, I know! You're refering to the ones with the big long beards, who bow five times a day? Wait! I'm wrong! You mean terror--- I mean freedom fighters, who claim they fight to stop fascism, meanwhile destroying private property? You must mean them, right? Sith are certainly what I'd label as extremists and no amount of news media, forcibly demonizing the term will change that
~~~
However, Sithism gives us a different path to follow. Our order is not focused on having others submit to our beliefs but rather we focus on how to develop ourselves. We take whatever means necessary to further our own desires, not to force others to behave as we intend. So far I have never seen a member of the order who went crazy and decided to take out his anger on his close friends. Our path lets us hold ourselves in the highest regard, and not be subject to the influences of a mercurial world where people constantly compete for the attention of their brethren. Instead, we focus entirely on ourselves.
~~~
You proclaim that your order doesn't force people to submit to your beliefs, yet this isn't the case in most experiences I've had with Sith collectives. What usually happens is a lot of group think, banning of opinions and people who challenge you, and even though many of you claim it's not political, you continue to force your political views on everyone, no matter where you go.
~~~
We are self centered and proud of it. We don't need the validation of others. We are capable of looking for opportunities rather than forcing others to hand us responsibilities that we don't deserve. This is one of the principal goals of Sithism, which is self realization rather than delusion. The Sith are not violent or bloodthirsty, because we know that conflict and struggle in a way always exists and this is the part that we are ready to master. We welcome change rather than reacting to difficulties by being consumed by pointless fury and hate.
~~~
If you were merely self centered, you'd not be collectivist, nor support collectivist ideas, which serve only to destroy individuality. When you say Sith aren't violent, aren't extremists, won't force their order on others, you're mistaken. Sith can be violent, though the smart ones don't exercise it needlessly. Also, Sith can and do force their order on others, which is their right to do for their might makes it so. Sith isn't some sanitized ideology, which fits neatly into your plastic wrapped commune, which is surely safe for children. Sith is a turbulent, complex, and difficult to apply ideology.
What you're doing here is what many before you have done, which is try to white wash Sithism into something it's not, purely for your convenience and comfort. That, my dear, is the opposite of what Sithism is; comfort and convenience are mind killers.
~~~
Other beliefs of progress and unity eventually lose track of their original goals and eventually welcome some kind of establishment in the scheme of things. The Sith path however, teaches us not to be ashamed of our human instinct.
~~~
SIthism isn't humanism, dear. If you're looking for that, I recommend LaVey's philosophies or if you're not into the Christian baggage, just take up secular humanism instead.
~~~
If someone doesn't find that they fit along the Sith path, they are welcome to leave as it is up to them. Our ideals only deserves recognition among us so much as it is effective. We accept the more potent aspects of our nature and then use it to realize our own vision, not that of the so called masters who want to decide for us.
~~~
Yes, we decide what works for us. What we don't do is let weak little sobs like you, inject your weakening ideas into the mix while you strut around, claiming to be one of us.
~~~
My advice here is, take what you find useful and discard the rest from both our subreddit and the discord. Everyone is welcome to follow their own nature, and this is what makes us more merit oriented than other groups who place so much emphasis on the belief that the practice itself need not be visible. Belief alone won't lend you power as the progressives, baptists, Jehovah's witnesses, or Muslims might claim for their members. We strive for independence, and imagine possibilities. If you are at the hands of some kind of belief or organization that doesn't serve you, then the most that the Sith path really needs to teach you is that you get to decide for yourself. Let your individuality thrive instead.
~~~
Everyone is welcome to follow their own nature, until they quote a banned book, like a cancelled author, or have political views you don't happen to agree with, you mean. Stop being a hypocrite.
~~~

I felt sick around 4 weeks before, suffered from a nasty flu for about two weeks on the third week i had recovered. My stepdad asked me to create a website for his company. interestingly, i did it a ease. I find it very interesting. now i am back to the usual routine.
DRDCEWMEC- i have found out new ways of recording the CBT techiniques on to my fitnes pal so that i am not only recording the diet and excercise but also making notes for the CBT.
As for today i woke up inthe morning aorund 11am. I realise the situation at my rented house. the outside environment is very difficult for me to sleep. I thinking moving outside of here and moving to a larger also quieter apartment would deemed to be neccessary for me in the near coming future. So from now on my routine has changed to sleep at 12am so that i am wake up around 8 to 9 am then i will start my day. today i woke up 11am then i had two coffee i took the usual supplements following the CBT strategies.
CBT; 1. meditation 2.diary 3. supplements including omega three, multivitamin and vitamin d3 4. sleep music 5. sleep tea 6. sleep perfume 7. cold room 8. lavender shower gel and shampoo (from 1 to 6 are active and 7 and 8 are passive). another classification is that the diary belong the the D and the other 7 are the CBT which belong to the C.
After i took the supplement i went to the gym. I realised i had no groceries left so i took the supplements with two cups of coffes and one mug of milk and i developed very bad diarroeah around 4-5 times. very good for losing the weight that is the good side.
later on the day i completed my food diary and then read sunzi, 33 strategies of the war and 36 military strategies of chinese warfare. One thing i learned most today is the ending strategy. Most ppl when they declared a war with others, they did not end with good terms and they will resume back to the original enenemies for no reason. Robert greene state that if you know/ analysis the situation, most often this is because of either of conflicting interest or the way of human behaviou human nature. very often there is nothing we can do about it. e.g. if this business or coroperation is against this someone's interest then obvious both you and him cannot come into terms. on the other hand let's say if he who can longer come into terms or taking advantage of you then he would hate you if you do not delater the ending strategy. From the famous quote the kindeness does not necessarily breed kindess in return in this world by Robert greene. The pp who do not understand this principal would struggle greatly.
Application: recently my roomate had trouble with me using the shared bathroom with him. he is claiming that he find it too difficult to share with me because he would like it to be more available with him . we had two shared bathroom one upstairs right next to me and one downstairs. I orignially agreed with him that it is ok for me to go downstairs if it is not too urgent but if it is then obviously i had to rushed to the one closer to me. Despit having repeated conversation i have devided to use the ending strategies.
There are a lot of ppl in this world who do not understand the society. they sort of live the world of their own in the example of my roommate he only considers for himself that if the bathroom near him is more available to him then it would be conveient and beneficial but he forgets to consider that what might seems convinient for him would also be conviniet for the others. this brings the key to advancing social skills, being a ppl person simplys means considerate more about others not only yourself. From the famous saying fit yourself into other ppl's boots. interestly, there are a lot of ppl in this world who does not understand this despite many years of repeptive failure experiences. in this situation because i had conversation over and over, i would not need to talk to him again. simply because if he does not get this principal then no matter how many times i expalinning to him it wouldn't make any difference. so what's the point really? so now it's the time to use the ending strategy. this is 1. the issue with the interest 2. the nature of the room who does not understand the common principles in life despite many times of repetitive explaining. the best practice now is to leave it there.
another learinig point of this strategy is the learn how to end the failure. in the past i had also experience failures and like many ppl i had learn to dealt with my failure 1. being hopelss and despair - thinking this is the end of the world and now there's nothing i can do 2. having negative thoughts and action about the society - blaming, accusing, being extremly defensive about yourself think everything happened is the fault of society 3. find nothing positive about the past failure experience and fallen into constant cycle of regreat.
what Robert said in his book as 1. Do not treat failure as failure but as a lesson to sucess so you need to know that both failures and success is in a constant cycles of repetition that is a common norm. what you need to do is to deeply analyse your failure and learn something useful out of it. this is also expalined in Rober kiosaki book do not just let life pushes you around instead learn something out of it which makes you stronger and smarter everyday 2. instead of being negative all times you should start learning some postitives out of it. this is greatly illustratd by the chinese philosophy so Ying and Yang. No matter how bad something gets as long as you are still alive there must be a corresponding positives. in other words if something is really happening terrible to your life then after you analysed it very carefully then there must also be at least one correponding huge positive. e.g. for my i graduated from pharmacy shcool becuase of my condition i cannot become pharmacist in the past i always thought of how other ppl in this society always descriminat me but on the other hands i have also learned the fundamental rules and algothrim of the society which is a key thing to master in order to thrive in this society. at the same time i als found my passion in tech, web desigh and cyber and going to pursue a carrere in this field. imagine if i never experienced these failures then how could i possibly learn and self develop and figure out my true passion. 3. feel extremely excited about failures since i just told you failures in life is inevitable and yuo know that failures taught us how to succed failures taught us how to thrive and strive better in life and in this society, failure has taught me how to fucntion better and accpeted better in this society, failure has taught me the importance of finding your target, do not be afraid, action and immeditate execution and the importance of long lasting perseverance. then now why are you afraid and why you are running away?

Most of you have probably seen the truly disastrous New York Times/Sienna swing state polls that came out this morning, that paint a dire picture for the ostriches in the Biden campaign. I understand dismissing polls from outlets like Rasmussen, because their entire polling operation is just a guy named Gary sitting behind a folding table in the lobby of the Rec Center at The Villages. But are we going to dismiss The New York Times? Are they part of the “vast right wing conspiracy” now too? What about NBC, Washington Post, NPR, CBS et al? And virtually all of the polls are wrong? Biden’s approval numbers? The “wrong track” numbers? Biden’s confidence numbers? The economic poll numbers? Everything is wrong? Really? Now who’s on “Earth II?”
And then there are the numbers themselves. A traditional (+/- 3%) MOE means a 6-point swing. NYT has Trump at +13 in Nevada. Assuming that poll is off by a whopping 50%, he’s still beating the swing. That’s disastrous. 10 points in Georgia? Horrible. 7 points in both Michigan and Arizona? All outside the swing. Polling among traditionally Democrat voting groups are even less encouraging. Recent polling indicates 30% of Black men are considering voting for Trump. Suppose that survey is off by 50%, it still means 15% - which is disastrous for Biden. Don’t even get me started on the youth vote. Many people forget that not too long ago, the big prizes of Ohio (18 electoral votes) and Florida (29 electoral votes) were up for grabs. With those two states now firmly in the Red column, the Democrats have a very narrow gauntlet to run.
For some reason, whether it’s rose-colored optimism or just plain denial, we’re all supposed to act as if everything is fine. From Simon Rosenberg to Geoff Garin to Molly Jong Fast (who I’m now calling Pauline Kael, Jr) we’re told not to worry. But you know things are bad when you watch turd-polishing Democrat operatives on cable news say things like:

“Well, Anderson, when you look at exurban, lactose-intolerant, Latvian-American independents with three fingers, aged 37-39, Biden is +2 compared to 2020…….”

My spleen is going to implode if I hear one more Democrat pundit say, “Don’t worry, polls this far out fluctuate wildly.” Yes, in a typical year they do. But this is no typical year. For the first time since 1892, two former presidents are running against each other, and that changes everything. Why pundits and campaign managers can’t seem to understand this is simply beyond me. Unless your comparisons are to the 1892 race, I don’t want to hear them. In a typical election year, polls move drastically in the last 6 months because the electorate is getting to know the challenger for the first time. That’s simply not the case this year.
Both these men are completely known quantities. There’s nothing left to discover. Both have run against each other before. Both have done the job of President before - very recently. Opinions are largely set. That’s why we’ve seen almost no movement in polls from 12 months out to 6 months out. Everything is baked. Trump killed one million Americans by ignoring COVID, staged a literal bloody coup attempt, was convicted of rape, defamation and a lifetime of financial fraud totaling almost half a billion dollars, and the needle didn’t move. If you think getting convicted of “falsifying business records” is going to move that needle, then I’ve got some oceanfront condos in Nebraska to sell you. He’s not going to jail. Short of him killing Kristi Noem’s other dog live on the Times Square Jumbo-Tron, Trump’s numbers are fixed. Biden fares no better. Is he going to get younger over the next 6 months? Are we going to have sudden deflation that wipes out 3 years of price increases? Is the Fed going to cut rates by 5 points? Are the Israelis and Palestinians going to start holding hands and singing Kumbaya? In 6 months? There are no October Surprises coming, folks - so don’t count on one.
That’s why we need to take these polls extremely seriously - NOW. No more dismissing them. No more waiting around hoping they’ll change. No more, “Just wait until “______” months out. No more whistling past the graveyard. Our task is different this cycle. It’s not about persuading open minds, it’s about changing voters’ closed minds, which is a far more difficult and lengthy task. Here are a few ideas for starting that process now:

1. LEAN HARD ON THE CONCEPT OF FREEDOM: Across the political spectrum most Americans share one core value: We like to be left alone. We don’t like busybodies (especially the government) telling us what we can and can’t do. We like our freedom. The GOP has already become the party of extremist, authoritarian busybodies, and their future plans are truly dystopian. We need to hang the entire party’s authoritarian impulses around Trump’s neck like an albatross. Book bans, IVF bans, abortion bans, protest bands, porn bans, voter suppression - these are not popular with the vast majority of Americans. We need to start portraying the GOP as the Handmaid’s Tale/SNL Church Lady/Nurse Ratchet figures that they are. (And it’s not hyperbole when it’s already happening in Red states coast to coast. We have plenty of ammo). The hallmark message of this campaign needs to be “Creepy Republicans (mostly men) are obsessed with your bedroom and your bathroom.” Do you want Ted Cruz in your OB/GYN’s exam room with you and your doctor? Because that’s where we’re headed if you elect Trump/Republicans. Educate the hell out of Americans on Project 2025 and its Evangelical-based Puritanism. That’s a long, tough task that needs to begin NOW, not in October.
2. EDUCATE PEOPLE ON BIDEN’S ACHIEVEMENTS: This shouldn’t have to be our job, but sadly Biden has been sitting in an ivory tower for 3+ years, refusing to use the world’s biggest bully pulpit to tout his own achievements. Add in a mainstream media that completely ignores him and it’s even worse. It might be too late. Read this truly stunning article from The Hill: 34% of Americans know NOTHING about the American Rescue Plan. 44% know NOTHING about the CHIPS Act. 24% know NOTHING about the Inflation Reduction Act. The infrastructure law fares no better, at 30% ignorance. 25% of the country thinks Biden is responsible for ending Roe V. Wade! Maybe educating them will pull a few percentage points our way, but it’s an uphill climb at this late date.
3. PROMOTE THE HELL OUT OF RFK, JR: I’ve been beating this drum for months now, and thankfully some Democrat operatives are starting to come around. RFK, Jr is one of the greatest gifts the Democrats have ever received, and they need to starting acting like it. Unlike Biden and Trump, he is the one candidate in this race that Americans are getting to know for the first time. And once they do, he pulls almost exclusively Trump voters. Kennedy has virtually no appeal to Democrats, once they get to know him and his policies. So educate them! Promote him! He is doing almost exclusively MAGA press, picking up almost exclusively MAGA endorsements, and taking almost exclusively MAGA positions. If you don’t believe me, please sign up for his emails. They are virtually indistinguishable from Trump’s messaging. Go to one of his events - you’ll find almost entirely former Trump supporters. As people have gotten to know RFK, Jr. his polling as gone from pulling mostly Biden supporters, to mostly even, to pulling mostly Trump supporters. His brand of wacky, anti-vax conspiracy theorism is perfectly poised to keep 3rd-party-curious voters from returning to Trump. Trump and his MAGA surrogates have been stepping up their attacks on RFK Jr lately, because even they know it in their bones. The Democrats need to promote RFK, by using social media to micro-target the anti-vax, conspiracy theorist, tinfoil-hat crowd that would traditionally go back to Trump. It’s a golden opportunity, and they’re blowing it.
4. STOP ACTNG LIKE IT’S 1982: Biden and his surrogates seem stuck in a time warp. They’re operating a campaign from a bygone era: Wait until the last few months, run some local TV ads with American flags and amber waves of grain, send out some junk mailers, pick up a union boss endorsement or two, get the local paper (if it even exists anymore) to endorse you, smile a lot, and kiss some babies. Meanwhile the GOP knows it’s in a fight for a knife in the mud. Trump is doing rallies - where are Biden’s? Trump and his minions are savaging Biden on a minute-by-minute basis - where are Biden and his surrogates? Don’t wait to go for the jugular - do it now. And keep that shiv in Trump’s neck for the next 6 months. Don’t worry about looking “Presidential” - worry about looking strong. Get creative and provocative with your dystopian ads. Scare people. Don’t worry about naysayers complaining that you’re exaggerating, because you’re not. Leverage social media - hard. Live in 2024. Embrace it. In other words - stop bringing a casserole to a knife fight.

None of these ideas may ultimately work, but we need to start the fight, and start it now.

I just sold a card on Goldin for 5 figures. It's a very special card to say the least.
Now, the auction runs for a few weeks, and Goldin's terms are extremely clear that buyers have 7 days to pay. The list of threats for non payment within that time period lead sellers to believe that items will be paid for within that timeframe. They have a list of options that a 3% late fee will be assessed, and another 1.5% per month after that.. to the sale being cancelled, to the buyers name being shared for being a non payer if the payment isn't received within 7 days.
The FAQ for bidding terms says clearly:
How fast do I need to pay? :
Payment is due within 7 days
What if I can't pay?
Please see winning bidder obligations here. Refusal or inability to pay for the item(s) you won erodes the trust and hurts sellers who choose Goldin as the place to sell their items. Etc.
Now my issue is that tomorrow will be 10 days since the auction ended, and I've been told by my rep that I'm being impatient, and that they "wouldn't blame me" if it were 5-6 weeks. I'm getting every excuse in the book from that, to "We have international buyers as well.", as if international bidders need more time to pay.
I couldn't have imagined such a lack of professionalism. I understand that others may be willing to wait weeks after an auction ends to get paid, even for an auction that was up for weeks already, but I am not one of them. So I am putting this out there and wondering what others feel, and if that I'm entitled per their own terms to cancel the sale.
As of now this rep is completely avoiding my concerns and requests to not be put in a holding period, and tells me now that the buyer will have 21 days to pay.. at which point he still hasn't outlined what will happen.
So how long should sellers be forced to wait?
Update:
Now I'm being told:
"The item has sold. Please stop trying to get this back. As I stated it has been eight days since the sale ended. Per our agreement if the items isn’t paid we relist the item. Additionally per our agreement we have the ability to extend payment terms."
Mind you, the agreement doesn't say they simply re-list the item. It clearly states many other options. They are acting in such bad faith and have advised me not to be public about this but giving me literally no other options. The rep is misrepresenting all of the terms agreed to, and essentially telling me that the terms of the agreement are misleading and they don't do these other things, that in the end they will hold your items hostage and continue to re-list it.
Treatment of Unsold Items. If an Item(s) receives no bids at auction (Weekly, Elite or otherwise) or if a buyer defaults in accordance with GA’s standard procedures, GA may, in its discretion, relist your item(s) in a subsequent auction as determined by GA, move your Item(s) to the Vault or return the applicable Item(s) to you on the address on file for you, at your sole cost and expense and without any liability to GA. You shall remain liable for any fees associated with all unsold Item(s) in connection herewith, irrespective of whether GA has been transferred title thereto.
Also:
We are not required to enforce payment by any buyer. If a buyer does not pay in accordance with the Conditions of Sale, and you and we do not agree on another course of action, we reserve the right, in our absolute discretion, to (i) cancel the sale and return the Item(s) to you; (ii) sell the Item to the underbidder at the amount of their last bid in the applicable auction; or (iii) include the Item(s) in a subsequent auction as determined by GA, in its sole discretion;
Literally Conditions of Sale:

• Unless otherwise agreed by GA in writing, the winning bidder must pay the full price invoiced (including buyer’s premium, applicable tax, and other amounts due), so that it is received by GA in good, cleared funds by the invoice due date. GA will email the invoice to the buyer by the first business day after the close of the auction, with invoices due 7 days after the close of the auction or such other time communicated to you in writing by GA.

I'm also being told at the end of the last email from said rep:
"I’m sorry you weren’t pleased with the result as it appears, but I have a buyer who holds legal claim to this item currently and an obligation to complete the sale or relist the item per our agreement."
Meanwhile, their terms couldn't be any more clear:

• Unless otherwise agreed by GA in writing, the winning bidder must pay the full price invoiced (including buyer’s premium, applicable tax, and other amounts due), so that it is received by GA in good, cleared funds by the invoice due date. GA will email the invoice to the buyer by the first business day after the close of the auction, with invoices due 7 days after the close of the auction or such other time communicated to you in writing by GA.
• Without prejudice to any rights the Seller may have, if you fail to pay the full purchase price or other amount invoiced (including buyer’s premium, applicable tax, and other amounts due) for a lot or other outstanding balance due to GA or its affiliates in good, cleared funds by the invoice due date or other applicable due date, we may, in our sole discretion, exercise one or more of the following remedies:
• Cancel the sale of the lot, retaining any partial payment as liquidated damages

But the rep is at the same time telling me that the "buyer", who hasn't paid within the stated terms has a legal claim to the item? So what is it? Goldin reserves the right to cancel the sale after 7 days, or the buyer has a legal claim to the item and they can't cancel the sale after 7 days?
Hopefully I will be able to learn how to outline these posts better in the coming days to share the story in a clearer fashion. But I for one will never in a million years send another card of mine to Goldin Auctions. I absolutely did not agree for them to hold my card hostage for a period determined by them solely, with there being no scenario in which they would be returning the card to me, even if the buyer defaults. They have continually lied, made excuses, and misrepresented the terms of our agreement, many times over now in only a few short emails.
https://preview.redd.it/bh555lejz90d1.png?width=2454&format=png&auto=webp&s=a744a0d18c30b52b97109113fe045379904a5ef5

I’m a nail tech and beautician, I’ve built a steady business I’m always fully booked a few weeks in advance and have very few slow weeks, i am however a people pleaser and for the first few years fostered a ‘it’s no problem you are late’ or , I’ll squeeze you into my already bursting 12 hour day because you can’t manage your diary,’ and I have a lack of boundaries too so I know I’m the biggest problem. I’ve got peripheral neuropathy in my hands and feet from poorly managed diabetes again my own doing not looking for sympathy however I want to take a step back from nails because up to 2 hours of doing nails 5 to 6 times a day is hurting a lot. And I have a few scary crazy clients too who need a psychiatrist appointment not a nail one and I’m struggling to cope with their draining moods and seriously messed up stories and sagas - anyway I guess what I’m asking is how do I tell the ones I don’t want anymore that I can’t do their nails I also invested heavily in aesthetics training to accompany facial treatments and this side of the business is a pleasure short appointments very little strain on my body or hands and old like to grow this side of my business but I guess I feel fear that I don’t know how to tell the ones I want rid of good bye while also promoting my aesthetics treatments on social media. All very first world I know but I’m autistic and find it very difficult to navigate these situations and I had a client who was late today that I was rude to because I’m getting so wound up and anxious I’m forgetting to be mindful of my bluntness I have apologised and honestly don’t care if she comes back because she has been annoying for a long time she doesn’t respect the very few boundaries I do put in place which is why I think I was blunt with her about being late. Anyway I will stop now before I digress onto other annoyances. Please dont be mean in the comments, I’m very grateful for the clients I have and am aware we are in a recession but I also offer an exceptional service which isn’t rivalled locally to me so they get a lot from me including flexibility but I have a number of people who abuse that and that’s who I’m referring to.

This is party 2 of a discussion regarding how poly could have been handled a little better in BG3. I recommend you read through the first part here: https://new.reddit.com/BaldursGate3/comments/1crb2s7/how_the_polyamory_could_have_been_handled/ so you can get context and I sound like less of a rambling weirdo.
​
Astarion:
Out of all the discussions, people were the most confused by this choice. Not only does making him poly at the last minute feel contrary to a lot of statements he himself makes throughout his romance arc, but it also runs counter to what other characters say about him and his backstory as a whole. He is one of the most insecure characters in the game, he was trained for two hundred years to lie in order to avoid punishment, and he has far more trauma and healing to do than the other characters. Astarion is the most likely to lie about the Halsin relationship in order to avoid appearing weak or demanding. Out of the poly players who expressed disappointment, Astarion was the one that bothered them the most, since many felt he wasn’t fully consenting.
Most of my reasons for why he’s not a good poly option (from a development standpoint) have already been stated in earlier sections, so most of this will be spent diving into the “Is he fine with poly or not?” debate, which had me intrigued. (This will be the longest section and won’t be as connected to the overall topic, so if you want to skip to the Halsin part, feel free.)
I’ll start with the main arguments I see defending him being poly.
Argument 1: He says he’s fine with Halsin and the twins, so we should take him at his word.
While this can definitely be argued, and it’s not good to treat an adult man like a baby, his constant lying as a defense mechanism and current issues with sex/relationships do need to be taken into account (if not by the players then at least by the developers). There were plenty of people (some of them victims of SA) who talked about their own experience of tolerating poly because they were scared of their partner leaving or finding them too demanding/narrow minded. This led to their self-esteem and views on relationships growing worse rather than better. For someone like Astarion, who outright admits he has never had a healthy relationship and doesn’t want to lose this one, it’s understandable that people view his response as a coping mechanism rather than his own genuine feelings. There were also two different mental health professionals who reminded players that although a few victims of abuse do enter poly relationships, statistically most do not and it is far more common for them to agree to poly relationships out of pressure (which often make the person’s mental issues even worse in the long run).
Argument 2: He claims to be fine with open relationships during Act 1.
This is countered by the fact that everything he says about himself in Act 1 is a lie (unless he’s specifically talking about Cazador). He lies about wanting to sleep with you, he lies about his identity until he bites you, he claims to only care about sex (then later admits it makes him feel disgust and loathing), and he brags about his former conquests (which you later find out he regrets and feels guilt over). His statements that he’s fine with open relationships are made when choosing between him and another Origin character in Act 1 or 2, but this is also said at a time when his act is still up and he isn’t in love with the player. If you choose between him and another Origin character AFTER he confesses and let’s his guard down, he insists that he is NOT fine with sharing. “You’ve decided to replace me?” If the player says they care about both him and the other person, he’ll say, “Don’t give me that. I can see what this is.” Then he promptly breaks up with them. This second reaction is not only said using his genuine voice (whereas before he was still using his fake one), but a few poly people mentioned that this isn’t a normal reaction from someone who is fine with poly.
This isn’t to shame people who want to think Astarion is fine with it, or to judge players who went through with the poly relationship. Instead, this is once again asking the developers why they chose this option, rather than someone who wouldn’t spark so much debate or remind abuse victims of their past without giving them a dialogue option to address it. (This is a similar issue with Astarion’s brothel scene. They should have either removed it by having him say he’s not comfortable again, or at the very least, let players talk to him about it after.)
I think it’s pretty clear that after reading the discussions and evidence both sides provided, I myself lean heavily to one side. However, the main defense I personally have for the opposite side is that the writers were sometimes vague about Astarion’s true preferences and wishes. I especially felt this during the origin playthrough, where his narrator would constantly flip between him liking hedonism and despising it. It gave the impression that two opposing authors were wrestling while writing him, unable to decide where he truly stood on things. It felt similar to how the devs tried to write a respectful story of overcoming abuse and the fear of being sexualized, only to turn around and repeatedly sexualize the character in both the game and promotional material. I really wish the writers and developers had picked a lane and stuck with it.
Now I’ll get into the evidence for the counter theory: That he’s not actually open to sharing, but says he’s fine with it to avoid appearing weak or losing his partner. I personally prefer this theory because it makes the writing seem more intentional, adds more nuance to an already complex character, and feels more realistic. However, even if this is what the writer or actor were trying to convey, it’s still a far worse alternative to simply keeping him out of the poly options in the first place.

1. His hedonistic playboy persona is stated to be a façade. Anything he says in act one about being poly and wanting open relationships is stated when he is both wearing his mask and before he trusts the player. Every statement about relationships here has to be taken with a grain of salt because his mask is centered around attracting victims for Cazador. Since he hated bringing “sweet innocents” to his master, it makes sense that he would initially try to attract the opposite (“criminals and brothel goers”) by sleeping around and making a show of wanting casual relationships.
   
2. Once he gets comfortable in the relationship, he makes it clear he is looking for someone who will make him feel safe and value him for his personality over his body (“I don’t want you to think of me in terms of sex. I don’t think I want anyone to.” “How do you want me to see you?” “As a person. Is that so much to ask?”). If the player chooses to sexualize him, he will go through with it, then regret it later and break up. He makes it very clear in Act two that he’s not actually looking for casual hookups because they make him feel “ashamed and alone”. So it is odd that he’s fine with Halsin (who seems to care more about the sex and the body than the emotional bonding) and the brothel (which is solely about sex). One can argue that he’s fine with the poly relationship because he’s not taking part, but Halsin DOES wish for him to take part ‘eventually’.
   
3. Jumping off of that, Astarion’s dialogue makes it clear he wants a partner who cares about more than just sex, but if you tell him you want to date Halsin solely for the sex (and because Astarion’s not doing it with you), he will say that’s fine and he doesn’t mind the player seeking sex from others. This seems to counter his previous statements and arc. It’s especially strange that even if you reinforce his greatest insecurity (that his refusal to have sex has made his partner immediately seek out other people), he will still claim to be fine with it.
   
4. In terms of dialogue, the actor for Astarion seems to be very intentional when using the fake theatrical masking voice vs. the more genuine softspoken voice he uses when he’s comfortable and being honest. The fake voice is blatantly obvious throughout the Act 1 romance, in Act 2 if you force him to obey the blood merchant (his voice goes from genuinely scared to flirtatious and over the top within seconds), and in Cazador’s mansion where he’ll speak genuinely to you, then be over the top when addressing Cazador’s servants. He’ll often use jokes and loud laughter to conceal his true feelings and insecurities. Meanwhile his laughter in the confession scene, graveyard scene, and Spawn epilogue is quiet and subdued because he’s being genuine. It feels like a strange coincidence that when addressing both the Halsin situation and the brothel situation, his voice becomes very loud and high pitched again, he immediately starts making jokes, and his laughter is over the top. This hints at him not wanting to go along with either situation, but he’s putting himself through it because this is what his partner wants and since he’s tolerated sexual stuff he hated before, he can do it again. Plus, after killing Cazador, he wants to ensure no one views him as weak. He has to prove to himself and his lover (at least in his mind) that refusing to take the Ascendant powers was good and he’s strong enough to not need it. I can understand players not picking up on the voice changes (because not everyone is going to replay the game or even care) but those who did notice it believe it’s done intentionally (either by the actor or the writer or both). If it’s not intentional, then it’s a strange decision to make from a developer’s standpoint.
   
5. Throughout the threads I read, most poly people made it clear that poly relationships require complete trust, clear communication, and general confidence. Astarion himself admits to lacking all of those traits to some degree. If you don’t romance him, he will literally not trust any of the characters right up to the epilogue (he’ll hold a knife behind his back while talking to the Dark Urge). Even though he does seem to genuinely trust his lover by Act 2, he will still lie to them several times. He lies about being fine with the drow twins (he states he’ll leave if he hates if but never does despite disassociating), feigns confidence when the player says they’ll become a mind flayer (he says he only cares about them becoming ugly but expresses his true fears only after the fight, that he’s worried they are no longer the person he fell in love with by losing their soul), he manipulates his lover when confronting Cazador despite being conflicted about it himself and wanting reassurance, and (on a more minor note) he continuously claims he’s doesn’t care about Yenna or the Gur children despite getting upset when they’re in danger. This is a character who, even after he kills his tormentor, struggles to be honest with his partner. That isn’t a good combination when addressing poly. (Again, it could be worked through in real life, but is better avoided in video games where there isn’t time to address it).
   
6. There are also plenty of situations where he agrees to do things he outright hates. In Act 1, we know he is (at least somewhat) disgusted by having sex with the player or Laezel, but he’ll do it. In Act 2, he tries to be genuine about not wanting to touch the player until he no longer feels disgust, but if the player pressures him, he will cave and obey. He does break up with the player afterwards, but it is only after he has gone through with the act. In Act 3, he will state three times that he doesn’t want to take the tadpole, but if the player pressures him by bringing up his darkest fear, he will give in. Worse, he will give in and STILL stay with the player romantically despite them clearly manipulating him to do something they know he fears. He does thankfully break up if you fail the checks, but if you succeed, he goes through with it. If he’s willing to cave to something as huge as altering his entire body, it makes sense that he would cave to something he views as more minor (like tolerating unwanted sexual acts in a brothel or sharing his partner).
   
7. I didn’t know this until I saw others mention it but there are points where he will flirt with NPCs if he is single (the girl in the sewers), but he uses neutral dialogue if he is dating the player. This reinforces the theory that he doesn’t actually plan to sleep around or be with others as he claims (though there are some dialogues that I think slipped through the cracks where he still flirts with others despite being in a committed relationship).
   
8. If Halsin propositions you after Cazador has been killed, Astarion no longer asks if you’re doing this because he hasn’t been fulfilling your sexual needs. However, he does give another response that feels out of place: “I’ve realized it doesn’t matter if anything (in our relationship) changes.” Parallel this with what he said at the graveyard, that “no matter what happens, I don’t want to lose this (relationship).” It’s very odd to have him say he doesn’t want to lose the relationship, but then the next day he is totally okay with losing it. Granted, it is nice to know that even if the characters break up, he’ll be fine, but it does feel contradictory for his character, especially with how devastated he acts if they DO end the relationship. If the Halsin statement is just an act and he’s overcompensating, however, then it feels more intentional on the writer’s part.
   
9. I’ve seen lots of people say that Ascended Astarion also shouldn’t be fine with poly, and I agree, though it’s for different reasons than Spawn Astarion. Unlike SA, I think Ascended would absolutely do the brothel scene because 1. He’s actively suppressing his trauma and playing a new character and 2. He feels in control in the brothel and is the focus. However, with Halsin, he doesn’t have any control. For someone obsessed with possessing his lover and ensuring they can never leave him, letting them sleep with Halsin doesn’t fit his writing. He isn’t participating. He doesn’t know what they’re doing behind his back. For all he knows, Halsin and the player might be discussing how to kill Astarion or escape him. In some deleted party banter, Halsin literally tells Ascended Astarion he doesn’t approve of the abusive spawn/master relationship they’ve formed. With that knowledge, not only should Halsin not be willing to join a poly relationship that he thinks is unhealthy, but he has a motivation to help the player get away from AA (and AA would know this). I could see Spawn Astarion hesitantly agreeing to the Halsin thing despite not wanting to share, but AA just wouldn’t. It feels contrary to both his and Halsin’s writing.
   
10. This is the second most convincing piece of evidence for me: The Drow twins. If you ask Astarion to join a ‘group activity’, he’ll use his fake voice and flighty laugh and agree to go through it, saying he’ll run away if he doesn’t like it and comparing the act to burning in the sun (a little concerning that he’s already comparing the two). Then during the act, he will immediately ask the player what they want “us” to do. Not only is he lumping himself in with the prostitutes, but he is also doing something that an Origin playthrough reveals is a trigger for him (he tells the drow twins that being ‘told what to do’ reminds him of his time as a slave). If the player tries to check up on him, he ignores them and says he wishes he was drunk. Then he disassociates and never brings it up again. This has been viewed two ways: either he doesn’t want to have casual sex anymore and wants to be in a one-on-one relationship, or he does want to do stuff like this but just needs to heal more before he can. I lean toward the first assumption because he is acting flighty and fake BEFORE the sexual act even begins. If he really wanted to do it but changed his mind after, it makes more sense for him to sound genuine at first, then fake halfway through.
    

But the main thing that sticks out to me is his reaction to you asking for only ONE drow twin. If you do, he will accuse you of having a thing for prostitutes and call it embarrassing, then glare at you for the rest of the conversation. This is especially sad because not only have the player’s actions made him feel like a prostitute again, but now he seems to be wondering if you started dating him BECAUSE he was a prostitute, not for who he really is.
Compare this to the Halsin situation and the drow ‘group activity’. For Halsin, he says he was expecting this for months. He’s had several months to plan his reaction and decide what he’s willing to tolerate. Hence, he has a very rehearsed reaction. With the twins, he had less time to anticipate this but probably also worried about it (especially if the player asked about them earlier and he said no. Now he expects the player to try again and has planned accordingly). Again, this response feels rehearsed and fake. The only response where he uses his real voice is when you ask for one of the twins alone. This is something he likely wouldn’t plan for, so we get to see his gut reaction for the first time: he doesn’t want you to do it.
Now some people argue that he’s fine with Halsin and not the other Origin characters because Halsin is just a fling and won’t try to take his spot. If that’s the case, he should be fine with the twins too. If anything, they are even less of a threat. Yet he doesn’t want you to do it and responds accordingly. If he truly was poly, he would respond like Karlach did and tell you to have fun, or like Shadowheart telling you to give him a heads up first. But we don’t see that.
One other thing about the twins that I felt I could point out: if you or the twins ask to do a group activity before Cazador is killed, Astarion says he’s not comfortable with this yet. The “yet” part has been pointed out to show that he’s fine with it after Cazador has been killed (even though he still disassociates later). However, another explanation of the “yet” part is that he’s trying to soften the blow because he’s scared of using a blunt NO. We see this with Araj, the blood merchant. Even though he is absolutely disgusted with her treatment of him and how she’s “defiling” him with her fantasies, his rejections of her are very soft and nervous. Even when reinforced by his friend/lover, he says “It’s still a no, I’m afraid” with a smile. Turning down sexual encounters is tough for him, even when he has people backing him up, so I can see him using words like “yet” or “I’m afraid” to soften the blow. I know several people in real life who do this, despite later admitting there was no “yet”.
There’s another part of this dialogue with the early twins that I want to point out (really overanalyzing here but if we want to believe the writers do things intentionally/with a lot of forethought, I think it’s okay to read into the words they use). When Astarion says he’s not comfortable with the twins, the player’s response is “I wouldn’t ask such a thing of you”. This will raise his approval and make him respond positively. The promise you give him is not “I’ll ask them later, after we’ve killed Cazador” or “I would have liked to but okay” (that one doesn’t trigger his positive response). He only approves of you saying you won’t ask him to do things like this (stated in a tense that implies you will NEVER ask him to do such a thing, regardless of Cazador’s stabbed or unstabbed state). This could have been the writer hinting that if you bring him back after, you’re going back on your promise and thus have to see the disassociating scene. That…or the writer wasn’t thinking too hard and we are simply thinking too much.

1. With all that out of the way, we’ll get to the final point that solidifies this theory for me personally. It’s the statements of Shadowheart and Minthara if you ask to do a three-way relationship with one of them and Astarion. Shadowheart’s response is: “I think you’re overestimating his willingness to share. He may seem like a carefree hedonist, but there’s something fragile beneath the façade.” Minthara says something nearly identical, that sharing would wound his pride and he is far too fragile to handle it. You could even add Astarion’s line from the other end, where if you ask Astarion to share with you and Karlach, he will say they shouldn’t because Karlach loves the player and relationships are fragile (implying that he either thinks open relationships don’t work if there’s love involved, or perhaps he himself can only do open relationships if he doesn’t love the other person).

The main argument I’ve seen disproving these statements by Shadowheart and Minthara is that they’re just plain wrong about him. If so, it’s a strange writing choice to not only have both of them be wrong about the exact same thing, but they’re both high wisdom characters who are proven to understand Astarion in a lot of ways other characters don’t. (All three of them have been enslaved and manipulated, Minthara comprehends the depths of his relationship with Cazador within minutes of being in the camp, and Shadowheart is one of the closest to Astarion in terms of friendship and liking him.)
If Astarion actually is fine with poly, then it means both Shadowheart and Minthara are wrong. That means the writers either made a mistake or made a very weird writing choice.
However, if Astarion is actually pretending to be fine with sharing as they say, not only is the writing consistent but these dialogues become very clever foreshadowing. I want to give the writers the benefit of the doubt and believe they did a good job with Astarion, so I prefer to lean into the theory that he’s pretending because it makes more sense for him overall.
That was quite a long tangent and somewhat unnecessary, but he’s a character whose mannerisms and statements are meant to be heavily analyzed, so it’s fun to go more in depth. Let’s move on.

1. ISSUES WITH HOW HALSIN WAS PRESENTED

We’re finally at the last point, and in a way the direct cause of this entire thread: Halsin. Now, I have no issue with Halsin being poly (again, he’s listed as one of my four ideal options for it) but I do have several issues with how he was written and presented. The Shadowheart part I will skip over because I already got into it, but there are many other problems to address and most of them could have been fixed very easily.

1. He is not presented as poly until Act 3. I was reading through a thread full of people who loved him and several of them were early access players who had requested he become a romance option. However, the reason they requested him was very important. In EA, all three of the male options seemed immature (Wyll), condescending (Gale), or straight up evil (Astarion). Meanwhile Halsin was, in their words, a mature man who seems like the type to settle down with them in a cottage and help raise their kids. This is the impression he gives and what drew many people to him. As a result, many of these players were extremely disappointed to reach Act 3 once the game was out and discover that not only was he the complete opposite of their initial impression, but he won’t even stay with the player after the game ends (in most cases). Honestly, if I was a developer and saw that they liked him for those earlier reasons, I wouldn’t make him strictly poly because that wasn’t what the players wanted. They wanted him because he was muscular and a good, stable man. It was a very odd choice to turn around and give the players the opposite of what they asked for. But if the devs were truly determined to go the poly route, they should have at least gone back to Act 1 and 2 and slipped in some hints that he was poly. I saw some newer players who recently played the game for the first time and wanted to romance him for the aforementioned reasons (stable, mature, kind, huge). They ignored all other romances until Act 3, then got hit with the “I’m only poly” discussion. Had they known he wasn’t monogamous, they wouldn’t have blown off all the other options.
   
2. But let’s ignore that. We’re focusing on the world where he IS completely poly (though some were arguing that it should at least be an option to ask if he’ll try being monogamous with the player.) The way he is presented still has a lot of issues according to poly players. For one, the way he tries to butt in on the relationship is done in a really sketchy manner (especially considering what some of the Origin characters have gone through/are currently going through). It would have been far better to do what they did with Minsc and give the PLAYER the option to hit on Halsin, rather than the other way around. Have them offer poly to him, and then he can discuss it from there. Having the proposition come from Halsin himself puts him in a negative light, and it’s pretty clear the writers didn’t actually want to portray him as a bad person so they messed up here.
   
3. The flagging for Halsin’s dialogues is awful and despite seeing people report it for eight months, that hasn’t changed. Even if you pick the most neutral option, he will still hit on you by saying “I think you feel the same way”. Not a good idea. “I HOPE you feel the same way” would have been infinitely better. Women often have to deal with people assuming their friendly, professional conversation is something more when it isn’t. It’s not a great idea to bring that into fantasy games too. It hit too close to home for some.
   
4. Even if you use the most neutral option at the Act 1 party (“Go have fun and mingle”), your main dialogue option the next day is “Sorry for coming on so strong last night”. It’s a strange thing to say. Again, I’m not sure how developers missed this and why it was never patched out. I saw people reporting it since the release.
   
5. He will also ask for a relationship at neutral approval. In most of my playthroughs, I stopped talking to him beyond the Thaniel quest and avoided asking about his personal life. He still led his proposition with “I think you feel the same way”. How does he know when we only spoke to him three times? They should have at least required you to go through all his extra dialogues before triggering this.
   
6. When Halsin says he loves you, you have two options: reject him straight away, or ask about his opinions a little more. Oddly enough, if you ask a bit more and THEN reject him, he’ll have a proper response. “That’s fine. I understand. I won’t ask again.” However, if you reject him as soon as he starts talking to you, his response is very off putting. He’ll protest and say, “but you asked me about my former lovers” or, if you didn’t even do that, he’ll claim “you looked after me with the care of a lover, not a host.” These pushy assumptions turned a lot of people off. This is entirely on the writer, in my opinion. He should have realized how weird these sounded.
   
7. Halsin is the only person you can’t dismiss from your camp at any point through dialogue. All of the origins have to be pursued and recruited intentionally. Halsin is the only exception. This makes some sense because you need him to cure the Shadowlands, but for Act 3, he literally has nothing to do. They should have given players an option after the Ketheric fight to dismiss him and tell him to take care of the Shadowlands. It makes a lot more sense narratively and would help avoid a lot of the more awkward parts later.
   
8. Halsin’s initial dialogue about monogamy vs. polyamory is mostly fine, with him comparing it to gardens and wolves vs. bears. But (and don’t quote me on this because I can’t recall the specifics), if you ask your partner to do poly and they say no, Halsin will be a little more judgmental about your partner, saying he was hoping they would be more “open minded”. Statistically, the majority of BG3’s players are going to be monogamous, so it’s strange to see nearly every character (monogamous or poly) criticize monogamy in some way. It is called selfish, narrow minded, and old fashioned by at least 3 characters to my knowledge (Halsin, Act 1 Astarion, and even Gale (who is monogamous himself)). If the developers truly wanted to be inclusive, criticizing one’s lifestyle and having no characters openly defend it in the game (even those who practice it) is a disappointing choice. In this case, it might be an unintentional mistake (maybe they feared that by defending monogamy, they were somehow demonizing polygamy or polyamory), but it would have been better to just leave the criticisms out of it entirely if that was the case.
   

And that’s it. I think that’s all the points from myself and others that I wanted to compile. I don’t think any of this will be changed in BG3 but I hope all of these points and opinions will at least improve any future games. It’s great that BG3 was able to make nuanced characters with their own opinions and preferences—I much prefer it to “everyone is poly and no one gets mad if you cheat” games where characters feel more like statues than living beings—but I do wish they thought the poly options through more carefully (trying to make poly people comfortable while leaving room for monogamous players to enjoy the romances too).
The only feasible fix the developers could make at this point to avoid all the issues mentioned is keeping Halsin poly but removing his connections to other Origin romances (or at least Karlach and Astarion). At this point, that’s the only thing that could realistically be done. I also wish they made characters break up with you if you cheat on them in the brothel, since that’s what many people including myself would do.
Again, these opinions are my own (and those that aren’t come from a variety of comments across Youtube, Reddit, and Larian’s forums). I enjoyed getting to see so many different viewpoints and appreciated how civil (most of) the people on both sides were. It’s an interesting topic and here’s hoping game studios handle it better in the future.
If anyone reads this far and wants links to the threads, forums, and youtube comment sections, let me know.

I'm struggling. My flair says reconciling, but it's on a low arc and approaching failure. Or maybe it's still false. I don't know.
Married 19 years, together for 25; two teenage children with severe emotional problems coming out of the pandemic.
D-Day was 16 months ago, the night before Thanksgiving. AP was literally an alcoholic unemployed late 40-something living in his mom's basement. They had met at a funeral she hadn't bothered to ask me to go because I wasn't leaving the bed in those days and I'd have said no. The night I discovered his clingy, mooning texts lamenting their inability to spend the holiday together, my life - already a terrible, depressive, lonely black hole of a mess and following the sudden, unnecessary death of a parent on Christmas Day - just imploded.
Upon confrontation after Thanksgiving dinner, the response was the worst in all ways possible. WW was high on limerence, and was fiercely unapologetic. She didn't want to separate but demanded an open marriage. She 'deserved to be happy', and felt good about her having told this unplanned encounter that went from EA to PA in 72 hours that she'd never leave me.
She had eschewed having intimacy for years before this. We had been poor to each other over the years, but I fell off a cliff after our kids faded from the world and my parent died. She was legit shocked and belligerent when I refused, and said that if you pursue this I will have to leave.
We made some temporary agreements (ones she did not keep), and started seeing a counselor. I started IC for the first time in my middle-aged life. We were however 'not aligned', as she'd say. She didnt want to give up her boyfriend, and I refused to stay if he was in the picture. I cringe to think back to how I said, 'you can maintain a friendship if you absolutely must but you must reinvest back into working on our relationship'.
This was a no-go for her for a while. She'd meet him. He'd sleep in her place of business. SHe lent him our car. (He crashed it while drunk, btw.) There was a moment when I had the kids in Puerto Rico, and she returned early for a funeral, and she went to the funeral with him and probably had sex after. Meanwhile I was stuck in an airport, trying to get home after a cancelled flight and just threw lots of money at the problem to curtail the time she had with him. She had in the three month relationship began introducing him to family friends, people who knew me.
With someone living a state away, she somehow managed to squeeze in more sex in 3 months than we'd had together in 10 years. In my mind, she was working on replacing me with AP but didn't want to separate for the sake of our kids.
Come January, she claimed to have decided to break things off. I didn't really believe her. I made a surprise visit to her place of business on a weekend, and found him there asleep on the couch with no pants on.
We had words, and despite being beside myself with rage and grief I was able to take his measure. In many ways, I wish I had met him right after D-Day. It was clear he was a narcissistic dumpster fire with pretensions of intellectuality. There were signs of some bipolar behavior. He made clear his intentions was to stay, and to convince WW to leave me. And he still had our car, and keys to her business site. (We live in a large city and don't need multiple vehicles, or even the one car if I'm honest.)
She realized where I was going due to my phone location and ran after me, but got there after I had 15 minutes with the joker. She asked him to leave, but still let him keep our car. She had no words, which has been a theme throughout our marriage. She can't easily access her feelings or articulate them, and she's afraid to express them for fear of my response. I told her after having met him, noted his instability and his intentions, i said I can no longer accept any contact between them. She reluctantly agreed.
From mid-January through to August followed a sequence of false representation of wanting to work on reconciliation and cycles of lying about not having contact. She was in love with him, she claimed, but seemed to go cold turkey overnight. She neither engaged with me nor took steps to reconcile, but claimed how difficult it was and that she was working on our relationship.
We quit the MC we started to see. We eventually found another several months later. We're still with the 2nd MC. In the meantime began a kind of surreal hellscape life for me, as she would say the barest of minimum things, and usually nothing at all about where she was, how she felt, and what was she willing to do to rebuild our relationship. She took no steps to reassure me, or show she wants me. She would say she did, but simultaneously be cold, distant, and - as i soon discovered - was still in contact with AP.
He gave her a burner phone. I found it within 2 days and threw the brand new phone into the river. Cheaters really need to not let unknown devices onto the home wifi networks of the technically literate. We had it out again, she promised to really try. A few weeks later I found unusual call patterns in our cell account. AP had provisioned a new phone number. Following that blow up was the WhatsApp phase, which really began to take the wind out of my sails.
She expressed no remorse. She was resentful of my 'intrusions into her privacy'. She genuinely thought it would be comforting to hear that the affair had nothing to do with me. She would be visibly annoyed when I asked for confirmations there had been no new contact - and even more so when in retrospect when there had been.
There were at least five discrete cycles of deception. AP escalated by getting five phone numbers and cycling through them. Towards the end, she had hid these numbers as secondary numbers of people they knew in common but didn't regularly have contact with. AP would write texts from the perspective of different personae.
Then there were the people who knew, and of those there were people who fully supported her behavior. There were people who aided and abetted it, lending her their apartments, or hoping she finds some comfort. One particularly egregious one, early on, tried to convince Amanda to really try to convince me to find someone else to be happy in an open arrangement. She's still in regular contact with this person.
The culmination of the PA/EA with the AP happened last summer. He eventually returned the car, but only after he had reclaimed it from the police impound lot. He did not pay for the repairs. Or his tolls when coming to and fro to fuck my WW. I did.
I had been fairly successful in identifying his phone numbers and having them blocked at the carrier level with some gaps in time, and diverting his email and voicemail. During ths period where all his means of contact were being closed soon after being opened, he was starting to rage and unstable. WW upon the latest confrontation (i was pretty calm and matter of fact about it) admitted she could not control her behavior, and didn't understand why she was doing it.
AP was a controlling person, with hints of WW's clinically narcissist parent. He wrote a letter and entered her business after hours to leave it. Because he wrote an email saying he was doing this, I ill-advisedly went there to call the police on him. I didn't find him, but I did find the letter. He knew I had been there - either he had been outside or he went back after I left - and complained bitterly about my interference.
His only means of influence had dropped to emails, and he just kept pounding with the short, imperative statements that described outcomes favorable to him. He had started to convince her that I was a threat to her, and trying to convince her I was a threat to our children (for whom I'd die in fire every day).
His tactical error was trying to play up his inability to contact her as a screen for concern. He tried to get the cops to perform a wellness check. He called WW's sister to convince her I was a threat, and that WW was in danger. (She told him off.)
Finally, he threatened to show up at our door with friends and 'free' her. I knew he owned a shotgun; while I didn't actually think he would show up (he had made smaller-scale threats of this kind before and I only realized they had happened days after his 'deadlines'.) I shared this new development with WW. We had agreed to handle it together. However, while I was out one day, she went to her sister's and called him to tell him she was fine but to never call or contact anyone in our family again. It was a muted, brief exchange. I was angry she hadn't stuck to our agreement.
Since then, he's only made a handful of contact attempts soon after the break that really were more for insulting me. I believe on an intellectual level they have had no contact since last summer. I emotionally continue to not feel safe about her intentions.
Since then, it's been difficult. There have been very limited conversation coming from her outside of the MC sessions, and those have trended light on her content. Very recently, she's expressed more. But it's still seemingly grounded in some unhealthy premises. Amongst them:

1. She at one pointed expressed she regretted the pain she caused, but doesn't regret the experience because (I kid you not) 'she learned so much about herself' and 'many positive elements have come out of it'. (I lost 50 pounds in the first three months post-Dday, and lately I've been hovering around 70. I did have it to lose, having used food to soothe myself over the decade of gaslighting and lack of explanation for her disengagement, and unwillingness to work on it.)
2. She continues to resent my intrusion into her phone call history. She disagrees with the oft-raised best practice of open-phone/account policies. Her feelings around her lack of privacy unsettle her, and get in the way of engaging (she says).
3. she doesn't see the value in 'forcing closeness'
4. she keeps wanting me to 'ratchet it down a notch', but it's not clear what she thinks that means
5. she finds my sadness and pain to be an impediment to rebuilding closeness
6. She claims to have read content about rebuilding marriages after infidelity, but to my knowledge she's done hardly anything to rebuild trust. I said it'd be better if you hadn't read it, because to think that you're walking around having read it but still don't do anything feels worse.
7. She has not taken lead in the reconciliation process, or really done much except endure my periodic/every-2-weeks or so expressions of disappointment and hurt and anger

I'm sure no one has read this far. This is my dilemma. What I'm trying to do here is leave no stone unturned in my efforts to save our marriage. I want to sleep well at night, and I won't be able to do that in a healthy way without going through this.
Yesterday wa the first time she said that he was responsible for destroying my world and my brain, several times over, with the elaborate deceptions (as I'm prone to describing it). I welcomed it and thanked her. But it was only precipitated by a conflict we were having about a mistake I made, where I rubbed her face in my phone snooping by adding unflattering profile pictures to the blocked contacts for the AP. (If they're not there, he could still call her and leave a voicemail when she's on wifi.)
She has had low to middling chronic health issues since April of last year, following her second round with COVID. And if it's not her, it's her parents. Or my surviving parent. Or my brother almost dying. Or the DOL is threatening to reclassify all her contractors as employees. (They should.) Everything just magically seemed to be prioritized over her talking to me.
It's literally, literally been something every other week. She's always tired, always in pain, and I really try hard to stay empathic about it. To hold a space for her. I have taken care of her when she's ill all throughout this horrible time. And she's really appreciative of how well I've supported and cared for her with no promise or signs of reciprocation.
But she still won't have sex with me, and wont talk to me about why she flinches sometimes when I touch her. Or worse, she fakes interest and then I find out otherwise later. Clearly, we have trauma to work through from before the affair. She's not intentionally being cruel. I've expressed remorse over what little she has hinted at, and want to make amends. I love her so much. It's always been my intent to die married to her, and hold our family together.
But it's getting harder to hold onto that empathy. I'm just so tired of feeling hurt, of not having my needs met, and feeling so deeply disrespected in this low-contrition (but maybe trending up) context we're living through.
She seems to evoke a sense in me that everytime I am hurt or express anger, her willingness or energy resets to near zero. Which in and of itself is newly infuriating!
My dilemma is that part of my tenacity in this ridiculous situation that saints would have left three times over already is tied to the idea that by sticking with it and not making it 'easier' for her I'm upholding my self-respect.
But am i? Am I just punishing her by saying I can't let go of my pain until she demonstrates remorse and effort? Being married, a husband and a father of simple small family is a big part of my identity.
It all went to shit a long time ago, but I never checked out. I just didn't understand what was happening, how a wife could treat their partner this way, and I didn't have the maturity or the emotional language to navigate it alone. So I grew resentful and depressed, and just low-level angry all the time. While she would just smile, and say nothing. In public, she'd be affectionate.
In private, it'd be back turned and motionless to my hunger for connection (and release). I turned inward. She, a very social, community-building gem of a human being, checked out and switched to Potemkin mode whenever anyone was looking. I felt like I was constantly being gaslit. Even when I tried to talk about our problems, she'd act as if I had said nothing at all. It was the damnest thing, and I had no words for it.
Maybe she's starting to see the light and be empathic to my pain. But, if that's what's happening, I'm just running out of steam and hope. Hope isn't necessary for me to stay the course, but motivation is beginning to lag.
Any advice?

This is what exactly happened why I found the courage to break up with my ex bf. I don't know if he was talking with other girls, but he was online in Snapchat sending snaps and posting stories BUT takes hours to reply to my messages and sometimes takes a day to even hear from him. We weren't friends there btw cause he didn't add me eventhough he knew I have an account.
It's not that I was asking him to make me his number 1 priority, nothing like that. I understand I am not his world but just a part of it. I just wished I was at the least made one of his priorities. He tells me after his family, I'm next in line which I understand for he is an only child. BUT I notice that his friends would always come first before me. He would only spend time with me right after he spends time with his friends. We have plans, but I would have to wait for hours because his friend called and needed his help (nothing urgent just about games lol). I always felt like I only get whatever is left from him. I felt like I was a box that he'll open only when he feels like it or he remembers to do so. I didn't feel included in his world. I felt convenient. Forgets my birthday and Valentine's day. No special days for me even on those occassions. At first it hurts, but I chose to forgive because I wasn't into material stuff but I wanted efforts though. I chose to forgive because he's my first love. But then again he chose to go on a vacation with his friends and cancelled on our planned vacation on the last minute, I knew I had to call it quits. Any self-respecting woman wouldn't allow that. I am looking for a life partner and a future father of my children. I can't imagine a family life wherein my husband would constantly choose his friends over me and cancel on the last minute on his own family to have fun with his friends. If that's the case, he should have remained single. Why bother me and start a relationship with me? Then find excuses that he is so busy and got a lot in his mind that he can't pick up the phone to reply or call, but is online 24/7. Some "boys" really just want the girlfriend experience. All the love, positive energy, affection, and care. But is not "man" enough to truly invest and love a "good woman". I have to say, " too bad, you could have been the only man I'd ever love in my life." But yeah not every one is lucky to get the right love they deserve on first try. Up until now, I still love you so much. NC helped me forgive and give grace to the pain I felt during our relationship. All what's left is love now and it's hard because you can never unlove someone your truly love. At the back of my mind, I wish you work on yourself and try to learn to love me better. But it's up to you, not me. I had to let you go. First love is hard to move on to, I guess.

Hey people. I wanted to share my long ass story about how nitrous used to be one of my most favorite things in the world and now my relationship with it is complicated and twisted.
A lot of this will tackle interpersonal relationship dynamics, but I’m trying to illustrate to the reader the progression of how this drug took my ex’s mind. This is more of a thorough essay about my experience than a rant. When I was going through what I went through at the time, I wished there was a story like this out there to help me know better and understand. This is how I watched the love of my life melt away his brain on this drug.
I will try and keep this brief, but it probably won't be. I wish to convey the addictiveness this drug can have and the toll it can take on your mind and body. In the summer of 2022 I met my then bf who introduced me to the rave scene and drug scene he was a part of. He really only used K and Nitrous (which I will refer to as N going forward). He told me about his 1.5 years of being addicted to K, but did not inform me of his also 1.5 years (at the time) addiction to N. He told me after meeting me he didn’t want to abuse K anymore so as far as I knew when we started dating he got better about that.
It all started very early in the relationship. We went to a weekend festival together and both found doing N together was so fun. We continued on using and abusing N every weekend, and sometimes many weekdays. Probably going through 6 or 8+ tanks a week, this went on for like 3 months. Sadly, I do look back on those days fondly, despite what would happen later down the line. We had so much fun together and yes sadly it bonded us in this weird way. Using it causes you to feel more open and positive in the beginning, and we had so many heartfelt and deep conversations. And it felt like a little special world we could go into together.
At the time I had no clue how much those small-medium sized tanks cost ($65 and up for just one where we live). And he never told me how much they cost, and didn’t ask me to chip in, so I had no idea he was throwing himself into financial ruin buying them all the time. Looking back I have no idea why I didn’t ask, I just figured they were only $25 or something, or his friend was giving them to him, and I was aware it was probably a poor financial decision, but figured he could bounce back after the summer. You have to understand I thought I had him figured out, but I didn’t really know him that well at this point, or know about the drug scene at all. Before this I really only drank and smoked weed with the occasional cid or shrooms trip.
Three months into us dating and abusing N we come to the conclusion we just need to stop and take a break from N as this had all become quite excessive. Still he doesn’t explain to me how much debt he is in from buying all of those tanks over the summer. Two months into the break and he’s starting to crack, asking for me to be okay with us using it regularly. I tell him that I think it’s okay for us to just do it once and awhile. It was hard to not cave in because truthfully I missed it as well, I myself was starting to feel the addictiveness of this drug, so I reserved it so that I only ever did it with him. We go back to doing it occasionally on the weekends. Over the span of 1 month my bf started to constantly complain of having nerve issues, his feet and legs and hands were numb, I also noticed that he seemed really depressed. This is when he started to experience the vitamin B deficiency, although both me and him didn’t realize this at the time.
Around this time is when he finally and unceremoniously reveals to me how much these things actually cost. This is the tricky aspect of his personality I would go on to experience more of. It was clear he was resentful towards me, that I had no idea how much money he was spending, but the reality is if I had known how much those things cost I would have ended it a lot sooner. I didn’t even understand how he had the ability to spend so much money, I don’t even want to do the math. I would find out later he would just take out credit cards and max them out. In addition to him doing them with me occasionally, he was also doing them behind my back, which I had caught him doing several times and was always forgiving over this.
So, because of this constant spending he was in a substantial amount of debt. What he told me at the time was around $6,000. Knowing him, this was probably a generous assessment. This is definitely a point in the story where I should have left him. Clearly he was developing this addiction towards N and spent an ungodly amount of money that was beyond even my comprehension. But, I was head over heels and believed that he could figure this out. People go into debt all the time, I would tell myself. But I told him, this all needed to outright stop. No more N, not even occasionally. Unfortunately while he of course agreed to my face I have to suspect now, he was doing it behind my back all the time. Around this time he wouldn’t come home from work until 7 or 7:30 which didn’t make sense as his hours at work would fluctuate from time to time, but he was usually always off at 5. He would lie and say his work was very busy and made him stay later, which I believed at the time.
Maybe about a month later we are in bed together sleeping, it’s the middle of the night. He wakes me up and explains he literally cannot feel his feet or legs and has been having trouble walking for the past several days. I take him to the ER that night. This night and the following weeks after were some of the most heartbreaking and emotionally terrifying times of my life so far. At this time neither of us had any idea or reason to suspect N was the reason for this. We actually talked to the doctor there and ran tests for over 3 hours, he got an MRI and a spinal tap which was so hard to watch being done to him. It wasn’t until I desperately did research on my phone in the hospital room and suddenly see all of these remarks and reddit posts and studies about N causing paralysis and nerve damage. I tell my bf and the doctor and they have no trouble assessing that is what is causing this. They give him a regiment of vitamin B shots as you typically do in this situation. The doctor even said that they hope they can stop permanent damage from happening, because if not he may lose control of his legs and it may spread to his pelvic area (IE dick don’t work) etc, he had to do physical therapy and see a drug counselor.
The following days and weeks after I was constantly on edge worrying and wondering if my bf and love of my life would lose his ability to walk. Thankfully, the treatment took and he didn’t even end up needing physical therapy. This is when I truly believe or would like to hope he actually quit and wasn’t doing N behind my back. Unfortunately it wouldn’t matter, as I’ve learned, a lot of symptoms of N abuse don’t show themselves until after you stop. Shortly after this event is when our relationship took a nosedive. He had also ditched the drug counselor. To compensate for no N he was drinking so often. He started to become aggressive and violent. I remember it all started in a fight where he got real close and in my face and stared me down to try and intimidate me. In a way it was both terrifying and laughable (because he’s only a few inches taller than me), I couldn’t even comprehend the kind of person he had turned into. After that came the months and months of never ending name calling, insults, degradation, and constant arguments over every little thing I did. He became so addicted to the high of his power trip of making me feel small and weak he would find any excuse to fly into a rage at me, even when we were tripping on mushrooms together.
Nothing was ever the same after that. We didn’t go out, didn’t do dates, and every activity together felt like it was all a big chore to him. I could look in his eyes and see he was constantly thinking about N, and when he would do it next. He really changed, and what I am now realizing is he was probably starting to experience the effects of pure brain damage. My close friends who knew him even agree with me that there is a huge change in his demeanor around this time in April of 2023.
I also want to add more info about his bizarre behavior. He started to develop an unhealthy obsession with social media, scrutinizing what I posted and what he posted. He started to obsess over current events of any kind, any breaking story or ongoing conflict and he would rant and rant about the current state of the world and destruction of humanity all the time. He started to get obsessed with mental health and psychology and pathologize me and himself and other people in our lives. He would send me 10 videos everyday about mental health and relationships and expect me to reply and have a response for every single one like a book report. This obsession with the destruction of humanity turned into a paranoia about the world, he would often say no one understands him, and he is all alone. He turned on his best friends of several years because he was paranoid they were racists or had bad morals (they were all pleasant and nice people who enjoy edgy humor from time to time). There was no more middle ground for anything, you either loved something fully, or hated it fully. Somewhere down the line he actually got his account banned on Instagram for the craziest reason. He couldn’t stop or control himself from having heated arguments with random strangers in comments sections, of almost any video of any topic. He would insult people there constantly.
Here is another big mistake I made.I allowed him to live with me, and we moved in together. At this point we had been dating for a year. Before this I lived on my own and didn’t want to renew my lease, and he was living with his dad who was abusive and financially took advantage of him. At the time I was convinced that this bad behavior would go away if he could get away from his dad and his toxic household. Well the toxicity only followed. That summer we went to another weekend festival and he revealed to me when we got there he had purchased N and brought it. I was so conflicted as I myself had missed it quite a lot, and I had to deny myself my healthy regulated usage of it in order to not trigger him. I caved again and said we could do it only for this weekend. You may not at all be surprised to learn it didn’t end that way.
After the festival everything truly fell apart. He continued to buy tanks of N and do them behind my back constantly. He would say he was just going to his car to talk to his friends, or his mom, and be gone for hours. Because he was totally abusing me and I had no idea because I was under his spell of manipulation, I had no recourse. Any comment of mine asking why he was gone for so long, why can’t he just talk to his friends inside our apartment, I’ll go in the other room for privacy, was only met with complete indifference. These questions only pissed him off. He would say it’s because I was so exhausting and demanding he needed a break from me. When I would call him when he’s on one of these “excursions,” he would every so often mute the call while I was talking or in a silent moment. I eventually realized he was hitting the tank every time he muted himself. When I finally called him out on this he gaslit me and told me he just does this all the time because he coughs and clears his throat, fyi he had never done this before in our relationship. Because I had no recourse I just had to agree and move on. And because his mind was deteriorating more and more each day he would go on to make randomly muting himself in calls as a common, thing so as to keep up the facade he told me. Actual crazy behavior.
He even started doing K again, he would clearly be f-ed out of his mind by both K and N, and stumble around our apartment with crazy red bulging eyes and again and again tell me he was just drunk. Around this time is when he finally divulges to me not only had he been abusing K for the 1.5 years before he met me, he had also been abusing N for 1.5 years before he met me. And it wasn’t actually the case that he only “began” to become addicted to N when we started dating and doing it together. This really started to put a lot into perspective for me, and it made sense how he had almost paralyzed himself over this, now at this current time 3+ year addiction to these substances, and it made me realize how psychologically and cognitively he was failing based on changes in his personality. You also have to understand he explained to me before he met me, he was doing 1.5-2 grams of K or more and N, EVERYDAY.
And still at this time the name calling, insults and manipulation continued. He of course was no longer experiencing any true “high” from the N anymore, it would just simply dull his senses. It was like a stereotypical violent alcoholic husband comes home from the bar and berates his wife, kind of situation, except with N. And I became obsessed with figuring out how to get him to stop and go back to the loving person I remembered meeting and loving. I began to do very toxic things, going through his backpack, going through his car, and constantly always finding tanks and balloons and all kinds of paraphilia everywhere. I would find tanks in our recycling bin, like he actually thought I wouldn’t notice. I would come home late from being with friends and catch him passed out on the couch with an empty tank in his hand. He couldn't be left alone anymore. If he wasn’t with me, 100% of the time he was sitting in his car doing N. At this point in time there was no forgiveness, I was completely broken. I would yell and scream at him or wake him up and demand he stop and choose me or the drugs, all terrible things to be doing. I know that.
Eventually it got so bad I felt I had no other recourse other than to call and inform his mother of his behavior and what he had been doing all this time. Me doing this is probably what saved his life, as there was never anyway I was going to get through to him myself. But it did not save his mental health. Even having his mother involved didn’t stop any of it. He still went out and bought it behind my back like nothing happened. Another painful painful aspect of how his personality had changed is he would constantly have crazy back and forth mood swings, one minute showing me the sweet man I had fallen in love with, thanking me and praising me for having stepped in and put a stop to this, the next minute he hated me and I was the worst thing in his life and I could never tell what was even real anymore.
But did I leave, oh no, that would have been the smart thing to do.Instead at the time I was seeing a therapist who also specializes in couples therapy. I get us started with counseling and during our second session he gets called out by my therapist and yells and screams and berates her, it was actually insane. That is when things really ended between us. He moved out and moved into his moms apartment 30 minutes away that night. Even though the breakup was traumatizing and painful I still had hope that even if he isn’t with me, now he will receive help from his mother. Well, she didn’t place him in any special drug counselor program or rehab, she just severely cut off his finances so that he could pay off his debts, which she had bought back from several banks so it would not gain more and more interest. I do believe now his debt may be somewhere in the $10,000-$20,000 range. So now he, as an almost 30 year old man, needs to ask his mother in order to buy or purchase anything. Somehow, despite all of this I would learn he was continuing to do N and K.
Amazingly, we still tried briefly to even make our relationship work after he moved out. At this point he has mastered the art of manipulation and being fake, and convinced me he was getting better, he had even started to look better too, but he was still up to his old BS. He came over to the apartment once for us to have a mini date. Because he went on and on about how he was getting more and more into walks he said he was going to take a quick stroll around the block to get some fresh air. Well a quick stroll turns into 30 minutes, and I start to notice his car is gone from our street. I call him and he says now he is sitting in his car talking to his mom, I tell him I don’t see his car and it’s been a long time, he clearly had left to buy N. He becomes irate and claims he simply moved his car down the block for “reasons” and I was in the wrong for being accusatory and not trusting him. P.S. I went down the block and he just was not there. This guy is either absolutely crazy or thinks I’m some kind of imbecile, or both. It basically ended from there.
We tried to be civil, but he cannot control himself from completely going ballistic on me anymore, or his mother. And it is so painful when he is remorseful and doesn’t remember all the things he said to me. At this point I have had to realize I am basically talking to and trying to reason with a mentally disabled person. The fun loving, easy going, creative, altruistic, thoughtful, smart and attentive man I met doesn’t exist anymore, and I don’t think he will ever come back. All that remains is the shell of a confused and angry person.
Some small things to address, how it came to be that he abused these drugs all the time before he met me is because his best friend was a drug dealer and in the beginning would give him all of these things for free. Once he was hooked and doing it everyday it seemed he would stop at no end to spend money and buy them. Yes K was definitely a contributor into his mild psychosis but I still think it would have happened even from the N abuse alone, based on research I’ve been doing lately. And yes I have to admit I think he had bad and malignant psychological traits before abusing drugs, and doing that made it all worse.
So that is the story of how I watched this man ruin his life, and scare away maybe the only person who could withstand experiencing all of his BS and still wanted to love and help him. There are SO MANY things I too should have done differently. There is also an age gap between us of 3 years, so I naively thought he had a better handle on his life than he really did. I do find it hard to understand how people can be so addicted at times, but in the end like my ex, everyone is trying to chase some kind of feeling or experience that came with it, rather than the drug itself.
Thank you for reading if you made it to the end.
TLDR: Two years ago I started dating a guy who wasn’t honest with me about his 1.5 years of Nitrous abuse before we started dating. He was a sweet and honest and caring man when I met him. Sadly most of our relationship was spent on doing lots of Nitrous together. He eventually developed health problems like a vitamin B deficiency and even almost got paralysis and permanent nerve damage, which was hard for me to watch and witness. His health issues didn’t deter him away from Nitrous and he was constantly buying tanks and doing it behind my back. The more he abused Nitrous the more abusive towards me he became as a person. Our relationship crumbled and not even getting his mom involved helped. He was also clearly experiencing psychosis and mental deterioration. We broke up because he yelled and screamed at my therapist and he had to move in with his mom. Moving in with his mom didn’t stop his addiction even though she cut off his finances.
Even when we tried to make the relationship work he still abused it anyway. I would now consider him a mentally disabled person and I don’t recognize who he even is anymore after 3+ years of abusing Nitrous almost everyday. Please use Nitrous responsibly or don't at all.

I made one other post on here in regards to my husband but would like insight on some things so little by little will probably post different scenarios to get outsiders insight on situations.
Okay, sorry if this is all over the place but I want some insight from others not involved in the situation whatsoever. Feel free to ask for any clarity etc.
I (29F) and my husband (36M) have 2 kids. To protect their privacy I would prefer not to share details but I will share vague info. They are elementary aged. I put off my own schooling to focus on getting our kids established and we do virtual homeschooling. My husband has never been able to hold down a job due to a few health things (anxiety that he uses medication for, and a few years in he got diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis and EOE but he doesn't stay on top of his own care). We live with my mom. He has lived with me under my moms roof for what would have been 12 years later this year.
Here is where I am asking for insight.
My mom witnessed him becoming more and more emotionally and verbally abusive. She sent him to his grandmas March 1st. My brother and I drove him down and we slept there and drove home the next day. He has been down there since. So 2 months. It was originally supposed to be around 2 weeks but then they asked about him staying another week. He was supposed to call my mom and they were supposed to talk about him coming back home. The one phone call they had he was making an excuse for why he yelled at me on the phone since he'd even been down there and then all he cared to talk about was his doctor(nurse practitioner) not sending his medicine, his insurance issues and all about his medicines. He is addicted to prescription drugs as well. If more info is needed I can elaborate but trying to keep this as short as possible but with enough details. He has also told us to go file divorce papers(I have never indicated separation, this was simply my mom wanting him to appreciate us and treat us better which it seems he is a narcissist and incapable of loving anyone but himself), custody, coparenting etc. So in his mind his is flipping it into US needing to work on our marriage instead of HIM working on how he treats me and our children.
He has barely talked to our kids. In the beginning I kept complaining about his lack of talking to them, then he would only try to call late at night. As I mentioned, they are school aged. I'm talking like 9:00pm or later he wanted to talk to them. Like I said, he didn't work and was aware of them having early mornings so this irked me. I told him he needed to stop putting us all off until the end of the day and it was completely rude and disrespectful to our kids time. He said he's busy and calls when he can.... I told him that's unacceptable and he needs to carve out a little time earlier in the day for them. I told him not to call after 8:00pm, which is still late quite frankly but better than 9 or 10. He has talked to them less than 10 times(don't know the exact amount so being generous with an estimation) I can look at my call log if necessary and try to weed out when he actually talked with THEM. Anywho, there was one Thursday night when he was supposed to call and I gave him a time and said no video chatting(he always tries to force me to be involved and I was busy and didn't want a camera being shoved in my face). He asked why not. I explained it wasn't a good night. He asked if he could video chat them Friday instead because he had things he wanted to show them. I made sure I was clear on what he meant and asked if he meant NOT talk to them "tonight" in order to videochat "tomorrow"? (this happened in the past hence the "") He said yes. He had not talked to them in 2 weeks at that point. So I was mad that he didn't ask if he could talk to them tonight but videochat them tomorrow as well....but then he said he was busy anyway so that would work better.....okay. Friday comes. He CALLS them. He was SO distracted on the phone and BARELY talked to them. He mentioned his brother had reached out about hanging out so I am thinking he was texting him while on the phone with them, but I don't know. I told our older child he was supposed to videochat so they mentioned it to him and he took a few minutes to send the link(iphone to android videochat) our child texted because it was taking so long. He finally sent the link and they were videochatting. He wasn't trying to show them anything. I mentioned he was supposed to show them stuff. He mentioned a coloring book and they had to ASK to see it. Then they ASKED about grannys dog so he showed them the dog. I gave them a time limit but gave wiggle room for the sake of our kids. I realized the chatting was going nowhere because he just wasn't interested in talking to them. Our older child mentions needing to go, then he says something like the child hadn't said they needed to go, in order to make it look like he "cared" like, "oh mommy said a time but I don't remember what it was so we probably need to go" they were over 10 minutes past, and I knew it but again I gave wiggle room for the kids. I chewed him out in a text and he admitted I was right and he was distracted and gave 348724985 excuses for what happened that day as to why he was distracted but I didn't want to hear any of it.
My kids very rarely bring him up. I ask them here and there how they are feeling about things and they are both sad but one of our kids even said that daddy was mean sometimes. That crushed me. I didn't know they felt that way. I didn't realize how bad things had gotten. I know what I went through and dealt with, but I was so blind to how he was doing them. I feel awful. And it came from the kid I would least expect it to come from cuz he seemed to give them more attention. I don't think the kids have asked to call him a single time. If they did I would absolutely not stop them, I'm not keeping them from talking to him. I am however setting boundaries on his side of things because he has no respect for our kids and their time. While he was on the phone with them he even brought up having issues with his doctor(NP) and meds. He talked to them for maybe around 30 minutes, most of which was the kids trying to talk and him saying.....uh......what? and telling one kid he was proud of them, they asked what for, he said......uh.....you're getting so big.
Side note; he mentioned I always have to say "something" (I am calling him out on his crap and not allowing him to use excuses anymore) and if I can't be peaceful we can't coparent. He informed me via TEXT April 17th that he now LIVED there. Has been so uninvolved already but ESPECIALLY now). I told him he has NO right to tell me how to COPARENT when he can't even PARENT to begin with and told him to ask HIMSELF a few questions and if he couldn't answer them he needs to reevaluate how good of a parent he is before trying to come at me for how I am PARENTING. I DO IT ALL. Anyways, like I said, we virtual homeschool and he was "involved" enough to know basics. So one of the questions was what grade both kids are in. He responded with his answers. He was wrong on both. Couldn't tell me what clothing size one was and was wrong on shoe size for both as well. He did get one of the kids teacher and speech therapist right but the teacher is a repeat from our older student and the speech therapist has been with us since the beginning so I knew he should know at least THAT one. I'm wondering if he googled what size one may be in because he mentioned a size not common to all stores but I do give him credit for answering what he did correctly. Its the ones that are incorrect though that are of issue. And I didn't correct him. He wasn't supposed to send me answers. I said to ask himself. He was just to cocky thinking he was really getting himself a "gotcha" moment. It makes me sad. I did tell my kids not to answer any questions if they videochatted(which I admit I didn't like doing, but with all circumstances I don't want him using them to answer questions making it seem like he knows more than he truly does) I told my older child what grade he thought they were in and they pointed out, "I was in ---grade when he left....." But we kinda laughed about how stupid/silly/dorkish it was and I am NOT trying to make him look bad. I shield our kids from a lot because I don't want their opinions of anyone swayed any way due to something someone else says. Same goes for their dad. Regardless of how I feel about him and the way he's done I don't want them holding things against him and distancing themselves due to things that don't need to divulged to them to begin with.
I'm sorry this was a lot, and it's probably all over the place and a mess.. I just need insight or opinions from someone that isn't involved or related to either of us so opinions won't be swayed. If any more info is needed in regards to myself or my husband feel free to ask.
I will also be moving forward with my schooling possibly this year or next depending. I wanted both of our kids established and while I'm not sure I'm quite ready because my younger student still requires more help and needs improvement with reading for me to be fully comfortable I may be able to start online courses in the meantime if able to do so before doing in person things eventually. My husband was no help with the kids and when he sat in or did attempt he had ZERO patience and was awful. So I limited what I would ask him to help with and did all the "heavy lifting" myself. We are all doing much better mentally and our younger child is unlearning some behaviors and is a completely different kid. They are coming out of their shell and while they've always been loving now they are even more sweet and loving and involved with others. I have seen so much improvement. And their dad has not mentioned talking to them SINCE that friday which was May 3rd, so it has been 10 days at this point.
Thank you to anyone that has read this trainwreck. If you think I handled things wrong and have advice on how to better handle things as well please feel free to advise away. While I am hoping I won't get ripped to shreds, I appreciate blunt honesty and can handle constructive criticism. :)

Okay, sorry if this is all over the place but I want some insight from others not involved in the situation whatsoever. Feel free to ask for any clarity etc.
I (29F) and my husband (36M) have 2 kids. To protect their privacy I would prefer not to share details but I will share vague info. They are elementary aged. I put off my own schooling to focus on getting our kids established and we do virtual homeschooling. My husband has never been able to hold down a job due to a few health things (anxiety that he uses medication for, and a few years in he got diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis and EOE but he doesn't stay on top of his own care). We live with my mom. He has lived with me under my moms roof for what would have been 12 years later this year.
Here is where I am asking for insight.
My mom witnessed him becoming more and more emotionally and verbally abusive. She sent him to his grandmas March 1st. My brother and I drove him down and we slept there and drove home the next day. He has been down there since. So 2 months. It was originally supposed to be around 2 weeks but then they asked about him staying another week. He was supposed to call my mom and they were supposed to talk about him coming back home. The one phone call they had he was making an excuse for why he yelled at me on the phone since he'd even been down there and then all he cared to talk about was his doctor(nurse practitioner) not sending his medicine, his insurance issues and all about his medicines. He is addicted to prescription drugs as well. If more info is needed I can elaborate but trying to keep this as short as possible but with enough details. He has also told us to go file divorce papers(I have never indicated separation, this was simply my mom wanting him to appreciate us and treat us better which it seems he is a narcissist and incapable of loving anyone but himself), custody, coparenting etc. So in his mind his is flipping it into US needing to work on our marriage instead of HIM working on how he treats me and our children.
He has barely talked to our kids. In the beginning I kept complaining about his lack of talking to them, then he would only try to call late at night. As I mentioned, they are school aged. I'm talking like 9:00pm or later he wanted to talk to them. Like I said, he didn't work and was aware of them having early mornings so this irked me. I told him he needed to stop putting us all off until the end of the day and it was completely rude and disrespectful to our kids time. He said he's busy and calls when he can.... I told him that's unacceptable and he needs to carve out a little time earlier in the day for them. I told him not to call after 8:00pm, which is still late quite frankly but better than 9 or 10. He has talked to them less than 10 times(don't know the exact amount so being generous with an estimation) I can look at my call log if necessary and try to weed out when he actually talked with THEM. Anywho, there was one Thursday night when he was supposed to call and I gave him a time and said no video chatting(he always tries to force me to be involved and I was busy and didn't want a camera being shoved in my face). He asked why not. I explained it wasn't a good night. He asked if he could video chat them Friday instead because he had things he wanted to show them. I made sure I was clear on what he meant and asked if he meant NOT talk to them "tonight" in order to videochat "tomorrow"? (this happened in the past hence the "") He said yes. He had not talked to them in 2 weeks at that point. So I was mad that he didn't ask if he could talk to them tonight but videochat them tomorrow as well....but then he said he was busy anyway so that would work better.....okay. Friday comes. He CALLS them. He was SO distracted on the phone and BARELY talked to them. He mentioned his brother had reached out about hanging out so I am thinking he was texting him while on the phone with them, but I don't know. I told our older child he was supposed to videochat so they mentioned it to him and he took a few minutes to send the link(iphone to android videochat) our child texted because it was taking so long. He finally sent the link and they were videochatting. He wasn't trying to show them anything. I mentioned he was supposed to show them stuff. He mentioned a coloring book and they had to ASK to see it. Then they ASKED about grannys dog so he showed them the dog. I gave them a time limit but gave wiggle room for the sake of our kids. I realized the chatting was going nowhere because he just wasn't interested in talking to them. Our older child mentions needing to go, then he says something like the child hadn't said they needed to go, in order to make it look like he "cared" like, "oh mommy said a time but I don't remember what it was so we probably need to go" they were over 10 minutes past, and I knew it but again I gave wiggle room for the kids. I chewed him out in a text and he admitted I was right and he was distracted and gave 348724985 excuses for what happened that day as to why he was distracted but I didn't want to hear any of it.
My kids very rarely bring him up. I ask them here and there how they are feeling about things and they are both sad but one of our kids even said that daddy was mean sometimes. That crushed me. I didn't know they felt that way. I didn't realize how bad things had gotten. I know what I went through and dealt with, but I was so blind to how he was doing them. I feel awful. And it came from the kid I would least expect it to come from cuz he seemed to give them more attention. I don't think the kids have asked to call him a single time. If they did I would absolutely not stop them, I'm not keeping them from talking to him. I am however setting boundaries on his side of things because he has no respect for our kids and their time. While he was on the phone with them he even brought up having issues with his doctor(NP) and meds. He talked to them for maybe around 30 minutes, most of which was the kids trying to talk and him saying.....uh......what? and telling one kid he was proud of them, they asked what for, he said......uh.....you're getting so big.
Side note; he mentioned I always have to say "something" (I am calling him out on his crap and not allowing him to use excuses anymore) and if I can't be peaceful we can't coparent. He informed me via TEXT April 17th that he now LIVED there. Has been so uninvolved already but ESPECIALLY now). I told him he has NO right to tell me how to COPARENT when he can't even PARENT to begin with and told him to ask HIMSELF a few questions and if he couldn't answer them he needs to reevaluate how good of a parent he is before trying to come at me for how I am PARENTING. I DO IT ALL. Anyways, like I said, we virtual homeschool and he was "involved" enough to know basics. So one of the questions was what grade both kids are in. He responded with his answers. He was wrong on both. Couldn't tell me what clothing size one was and was wrong on shoe size for both as well. He did get one of the kids teacher and speech therapist right but the teacher is a repeat from our older student and the speech therapist has been with us since the beginning so I knew he should know at least THAT one. I'm wondering if he googled what size one may be in because he mentioned a size not common to all stores but I do give him credit for answering what he did correctly. Its the ones that are incorrect though that are of issue. And I didn't correct him. He wasn't supposed to send me answers. I said to ask himself. He was just to cocky thinking he was really getting himself a "gotcha" moment. It makes me sad. I did tell my kids not to answer any questions if they videochatted(which I admit I didn't like doing, but with all circumstances I don't want him using them to answer questions making it seem like he knows more than he truly does) I told my older child what grade he thought they were in and they pointed out, "I was in ---grade when he left....." But we kinda laughed about how stupid/silly/dorkish it was and I am NOT trying to make him look bad. I shield our kids from a lot because I don't want their opinions of anyone swayed any way due to something someone else says. Same goes for their dad. Regardless of how I feel about him and the way he's done I don't want them holding things against him and distancing themselves due to things that don't need to divulged to them to begin with.
I'm sorry this was a lot, and it's probably all over the place and a mess.. I just need insight or opinions from someone that isn't involved or related to either of us so opinions won't be swayed. If any more info is needed in regards to myself or my husband feel free to ask.
I will also be moving forward with my schooling possibly this year or next depending. I wanted both of our kids established and while I'm not sure I'm quite ready because my younger student still requires more help and needs improvement with reading for me to be fully comfortable I may be able to start online courses in the meantime if able to do so before doing in person things eventually. My husband was no help with the kids and when he sat in or did attempt he had ZERO patience and was awful. So I limited what I would ask him to help with and did all the "heavy lifting" myself. We are all doing much better mentally and our younger child is unlearning some behaviors and is a completely different kid. They are coming out of their shell and while they've always been loving now they are even more sweet and loving and involved with others. I have seen so much improvement. And their dad has not mentioned talking to them SINCE that friday which was May 3rd, so it has been 10 days at this point.
Thank you to anyone that has read this trainwreck. If you think I handled things wrong and have advice on how to better handle things as well please feel free to advise away. While I am hoping I won't get ripped to shreds, I appreciate blunt honesty and can handle constructive criticism. :)

I’ve posted here before but removed the posts because I was worried my MIL would find them somehow lol but I don’t think I care now.
My in laws keep showing up early. Even if we call them the day before and say “okay we will see you at 9!” and they agree, they still show up an hour early. On Saturday, they called my husband saying they were an hour away…at 7 am. Frankly, I lost it. Every time they come over they’re early despite us knowing that they understand they’re supposed to come at a certain time and they ignore it. I get anxiety and don’t sleep the night before they come because I dread it now. When we made these plans, I was talking to my MIL discussing food and I made the mistake of saying “I wasn’t sure how long you guys were thinking of staying…” and she said “if you don’t mind, we’ll just sleepover!”. Me: “oh well we don’t have an AC in the guest room yet, I don’t think that would be comfortable.” Her: “that’s fine I’ll bring my fan!” Me: “husband has to get up very early in the morning for work, it’s going to be a bit busy here.” Her: “that’s fine we’ll get up when he gets up and leave when he leaves so you’ll have your day to yourself!” I realize now I should have said “sleepovers don’t work for us” (seriously they live less than 1.5 hours away the sleepover is not necessary especially with them coming in the morning!!!). My husband called them the day before they were supposed to come, stressed the coming at/after 9 and that sleeping over is not a great idea. She clearly ignored it and showed up with pillows and dog with leash in hands, ringing the doorbell multiple times like a child an hour early. Unfortunately for them, once we knew they were going to be early again, we decided to leave to get coffee. They pulled up, rang the doorbell multiple times and walked around the back of the house to see if they could see us (yay cameras!). Finally, they called asking where we were. My husband said “we had things to do this morning. this is why I told you 9.” I wanted to stay out until 9 but my husband felt bad so we went back to let them in at 8:30. We made them breakfast (which she picked out and did not provide) and my husband wanted to make add a little extra to it (meat, cheese salt and pepper). I told him not to make them their plates so they could make their own food but he made it for them anyways. 10 seconds later I could hear his dad yelling about sending his mom to the hospital…all because he put pepper on her sandwich and she’s on some crazy kidney stone diet that we did not know the specifics of. At this point, we’ve been with them for half an hour and I’m already done and want them to leave but we bought tickets to go to an amusement park. We’re there from 11-5 and my social battery is drained by the time we get back, despite me keeping my distance from them as much as possible. I head to my room for a bit to decompress. While I’m up there, the in laws said that they’ve gotten the vibe that I don’t want them there…husband says that they’re being overbearing towards me so they decide not to sleep over. They also told him they love me as much as they love him, which is not true (they rarely text or call me) and felt manipulative to me. I come down after all of this. We have an awkward dinner and they leave. Now I know my husband and I need to have a serious talk with them about this, but I don’t know how to start it and I know they are gonna be pissed. I do know we will not be having them over until we talk about this.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to be dead in the next 24 hours.
Whether that's the Costella family, or whatever this is, I'm not sure.
The police are taking forever, and part of me knows they're either refusing to believe me, or RC got them too.
I'm holed up on our school bus, so I've got nothing better to do.
I want to tell you about my team.
We met in our sophomore year.
Strangers standing outside the club room.
Levi was the freckled brunette who wouldn't stop talking about Game of Thrones.
Sunny, a pretty redhead, told him to shut up.
Tom, a sandy blonde, nodding his head to music corked in his ears.
I just wanted to be part of a club, and get away from my overbearing mother.
I won't say it was a perfect start. Our school was lacking in funding, so anyone could join, which made us more of a Quiz Club. I had some serious anxiety, so I stayed on the sidelines for a while, watching, rather than taking part.
It's not like we actually talked to each other initially. The first few weeks, we played Jeopardy, and attempted to find more members to cement us as an official Academic Decathlon club.
Unfortunately, though, it was just the four of us.
Which made it extremely hard for us to be taken seriously.
According to Google, Academic Decathlon teams were made up of nine members, placed by their GPA.
Our principal laughed at us, but he did let us become official.
Which was out of pity, I assumed.
The club was assembled, and we started meeting up after school.
Sort of.
Sunny barely showed up, and Levi didn't take anything seriously, preferring to spend the time telling us about his weird family turf-war.
Our principal dumped us in a tiny classroom with a resident rat living under the floorboards.
There was barely enough room to move, and the four of us crammed together for three hours was less than appealing.
Still, though, I wanted to be part of a club.
I had grown up with parents who were obsessed with board games, so I was pretty good at general knowledge questions. Our club room was too small for anything else but three desks (Sunny and I shared one) and a whiteboard we had to shove through the door.
But, again, we didn't start as an Academic club.
It was more akin to Story Time Club.
Arriving late on my third day, armed with quiz cards from home, I found Tom and Sunny completely mesmerised by Levi’s storytelling skills, drowned in shadow.
They didn't even turn the lights on.
I strictly remember squeezing next to Sunny, and hearing the words, “But there was so much blood all over the floor, and my Mom told me to go upstairs and hide under the bed…”
Sitting in front of them was Levi, perched on a desk, his legs swinging, a whiteboard marker between his teeth.
Sometimes he'd get up, and illustrate parts of his story.
It sucked that his drawings were all stick people.
I won't go into full details of his life, but Levi grew up as part of a family who had… interesting methods of making a living. I had seen the guy’s father multiple times when we hung out at his place, and, yeah, my friend’s family definitely had Soprano vibes.
Levi’s Draw My Life was nothing to do with the club, but it did bring us closer.
Even if, at that point, I was considering leaving.
But it's not like it was easy to walk away from these guys. It's like finding your soulmates. Levi wasn't the only one with an interesting life. Sunny Lang was an ex kpop trainee, who was kicked out for being too fat, which led her to develop a severe eating disorder, and a hatred for her own body.
Sunny explained her family were originally from Boston, her mother growing up in Korea.
She signed up for an idol agency focusing on creating a new girl group, and had gotten all the way to the final stages, before being kicked for her weight. Sunny told us her story with a smile, though there was a hollowness in her eyes I couldn't ignore. The other girls were judgemental bullies, and the idol diet and brutal regime almost killed her.
Sunny lived in a tiny apartment with 9 girls, who would tear each other apart for a chance to debut. Sunny said all the other girls debuted, and when we (not so patiently) asked for names, she shrugged, admitting she signed an NDA that prevented her spilling the beans.
What she did say, was the K-pop idol is a product, not a person– and are made and moulded into a product.
She had zero interest in throwing her humanity away to become a manufactured doll.
So, one of us was the son of an underground family, and the other was an ex idol.
Tom was an aspiring horror writer with a famous older step-brother.
His story times were usually, That one time I went to the Met Gala.
When it was my turn to reveal my story, I told them the only interesting thing about me.
I could smell when something bad was going to happen.
They laughed, but I was being serious.
When I was a kid, I smelled my mother’s brain tumor.
I remember it smelled like curdled milk.
I asked Mom why her head smelled of mouldy milk, and Mom laughed and said it was her shampoo.
It was actually a grade two tumor growing inside her brain.
Thankfully, the tumour was found quickly and removed.
Growing older, I became sensitive to smell. The little girl choking on the bus smelled of singed wood, and the old man crossing the road stunk of gasoline.
In the fourth grade, my classmate Alex Castor smelled of lemons all morning.
I sat behind him, choking on the stink all the way through class.
Ever since I met him, Alex had always smelled… off.
It was a distinct smell I could never understand, and as the days and months and years went by, that smell morphed into a subtle orangey musk that was so strong I had to cover my mouth and nose. Then, he smelled like lemons.
During Recess, I watched Alex fall off of the jungle gym, straight onto his head.
Alex Castor was dead before the paramedics arrived, my panicked teacher attempting CPR when his brains were leaking out of his ears.
The school claimed it was an accident, but Alex would have been fine if the jungle gym wasn't built on solid concrete.
I told my team members this, and Levi was sceptical.
“You can smell bad things?” He said, his lips curved around his milkshake straw. In the early days, we hung out in the local bar. It's not like we were allowed inside, but Levi could get us in anywhere.
I was squeezed between Tom and Sunny, while Levi took the seat opposite us. I couldn't help noticing our waitress was insisting on free milkshake refills, her frantic eyes glued to Levi.
I had zero idea why. Levi Costella was about as intimidating as a fruit fly.
Wearing a white shirt with a popped collar, a leather jacket thrown over the top, Levi was giving rebellious Harvard student, rather than son of a crime family.
Leaning forward, he raised a brow, clearly not believing me.
“So, you're like a stink psychic?”
I shrugged, sipping my own shake.
“Sure.”
I wasn't planning on telling him the club room smelled off on our first day.
Once we actually started the club, Levi surprised us as the smartest member, and getting to know him further, I came to the realization his family were infamous in our town.
However, his parents hid it well. Lucy and Michael Costella were the owners of a popular ramen store in our town, hiding under the facade of two successful business owners. The Costella’s were an attractive family.
Lucy was a sophisticated brunette with a lipstick smile, Michael, a handsome fluffy haired man who looked like he modelled glasses.
The two were fiercely protective over their youngest son, not so casually reminding us behind grinning smiles, that if anything happened to Levi, we would automatically be involved in the family.
I mean, they did laugh and say, “We’re joking! Look at your little faces!” when Sunny went deathly pale. But there was definitely truth behind their words.
Being Levi’s friend was… challenging at first.
Tom and I were in his room studying for finals, and an alarm went off, flooding Levi’s room in red light.
I had zero idea where it was coming from, but it locked all the doors and windows, forcing the Costella residence into temporary lockdown. Levi didn't seem fazed, casually mentioning his parents were taking care of it.
He had a whiteboard set up in his room, and was standing in front of it, cramming all of our textbook notes into one easily digestible drawing.
Levi wasn't just smart.
He was Ivy League smart, so we had struck gold with him.
His family were questionable, and yes, sometimes I did fear for my life, but as the more time we spent at his house, the Costella household became a second home. We got used to the alarms.
I just brought along ear plugs.
I wish I was writing this post about Levi’s family, and sure, they are a factor in what is going on right now, but I want to preface this by saying the events below involve the 2024 scholastic decathlon final in our town with the school’s listed:
Starbrook High School.
Ratcliffe High School.
Please note, the incident that took place last night was immediately covered up, and all phone footage was destroyed. Our town is mostly out of the way, and does not show up on Google searches.
We also have our own version of the academic decathlon, which is a more town-level competition, due to lacking funds. The four of us were desperate to start competing with our schools.
So, we started taking things a little more seriously.
We got a coach.
Mr Hanes, who was hesitant at first.
In his words, “You will hate me as your coach.”
He started by recruiting more members, announcing, “If you want to be taken seriously as an actual club, then I'll be taking the reins from now on.”
He did, and with our teachers guidance (and sometimes brutal honesty), we reached a level where we could start competing with other school’s in town. Now, none of us knew this, but Mr Hanes was obsessed with winning.
So, club meetings were twisted into two hour study sessions with no talking, followed by Mr Hanes Jeaprody, which was Jeaprody, without the actual fun.
We were quizzed multiple times, answer cards and practise questions quite literally thrown directly in our faces.
I hate to admit this (I really hate to admit this) but Mr Hanes’s tactics worked. Sure, we had been mildly brainwashed by our slightly unhinged coach, but with Levi Costella, we destroyed our competitors. Like I said, our town held their own version of the academic scholastic decathlon, but it was pretty much the same, with some changes.
Ten subjects. Language and Literature, Math, Social Science, Economics, Art, Music, Interview, Speech, and Essay.
Unlike the official Decathlon, ours was more like a game show, with the ability to be knocked out if a team member answers a question wrong. Whoever answers the most questions correctly wins. Team meet ups were either tests, study sessions, or quizzing each other.
Which leads me to last night.
The finals were held in the reigning champions, Ratcliffe High School’s, auditorium.
And we were about to win our town’s Scholastic Decathlon 2024 Championships.
Well…I was knocked out in the music section. Standing next to my coach who I was sure was going to asphyxiate from excitement, I could smell the sudden potent stink of lemon. I tried to ignore it at first, but the more questions my team were answering correctly, the smell got worse, suffocating my senses.
This wasn't just lemon. The stink was like a burning, singing smell trickling into my nose and the back of my throat.
It was stronger than what Alex smelled like.
This was suffocating, drowning my thoughts.
“Are you okay, Cassandra?”
Mr Hanes nudged me when a Ratcliffe girl was struggling to answer a question, only for Sunny to jump in with the answer. “You look quite pale.”
I nodded, forcing a smile.
My gaze was on the Ratcliffe coach, a scary looking blonde woman, whispering in one of her student’s ears.
The Ratcliffe kid freaked me out. He was way too tall, dark blonde hair, and bulging eyes I swear were not blinking.
His gaze was glued to Levi, who wore a smug grin.
There was a smaller girl next to the Ratcliffe kid, a Macbook balanced on her knee. Every so often, he leaned into her, the two of them in deep conversation.
“I'm just nervous.”
I jumped when Ratcliffe scored a point, their side erupting into cheers.
During the break, we had a mini team meeting.
Sunny rushed to the bathroom to freshen up, and I noticed a Ratcliffe girl with a bouncing ponytail following her.
Ignoring our coach’s speech, I joined the two girls in the corridor, that lemony scent hanging thick in the air.
I caught them in an awkward position.
The Ratcliffe girl had her fingers pinched between the material of Sunny’s dark blue shirt bearing our school’s name.
Sunny looked confused, her lips parted like she was going to yell.
Ponytail dropped her hand, suddenly, with a nervous laugh. “Oh! I'm so, so, sorry,” she gushed. “You had, like, the biggest spider crawling on your back.”
Sunny caught my eye, shooting me a reassuring smile.
“Thanks.” She made sure to keep her distance. “Uh, where's your bathroom?”
The Ratcliffe girl nodded down the hallway. “It's just down there. I'm going there too if you want me to show you?”
Sunny motioned for me to go back to the auditorium. “Uh, sure! That'd be great!”
I did try to follow them, only for Sunny to cough loudly.
I took the hint, reluctantly heading back into the auditorium.
My team was hyping each other up, Levi in the centre, sweating through his team shirt. He ran a trembling hand through his hair. “I can't do this,” He groaned. “Ratcliffe High is known to play dirty, man. They're unbeatable.”
“In what way do they play dirty?” I asked, joining them.
Levi gulped down water, shrugging.
“I dunno! They're already trying to distract me with the stink eye.” The boy narrowed his eyes at a grinning Ratcliffe kid who, after noticing our stares, jumped to his feet, waving at us.
“Hey guys!”
“That's Harry Cartwright, the son of the Cartwright family who tried to kill my parents in the third grade.” Levi mockingly waved back. “As you can see, their kid is a fucking sociopath.”
Huh. I wasn't expecting the smiley kid to be the mobster’s son.
Harry Cartwright was not what I expected.
Unlike his team members, he was the only one in casual clothing, a short sleeved white shirt and jeans, a pair of sunglasses perched on top of his head.
Tom went pale.
“Fuck.” He hissed. “He’s one of you? Then those bastards will have a reason to play dirty, right?”
Levi shrugged, averting his gaze. It was the first time I saw his eyes darken, like he was subtly telling the boy to back off.
“The Cartwright’s have been trying to buy our land for a while,” he muttered. “I wouldn't put it past them to use the Decathlon as a way to attack.”
“Attack?!” April, another member of our team, hissed. “Like, attack attack?”
Mr Hanes grabbed the boy, resting his hands on Levi’s shoulders. “Ignore them,” he said. “Hey. Look at me.”
Levi did, raising a brow.
“You're losing that spark in your eye, young man.”
“Spark?”
Our coach nodded. “Look at me, kid.”
Levi rolled his eyes. “I am looking at you, Mr Hanes.”
The man was shaking. I was guessing his whole career (or coaching career) was on the line.
“They know they're losing, Mr Costella.”
Hanes shook the boy, squeezing his shoulders. “You are being positive and Ratcliffe doesn't like that. They want you to be nervous. They want to make you second guess yourself and lose confidence. Don't let them get into your head.” he smiled, giving the boy a playful shove. “Kick their asses.”
“Exactly!”
I didn't realize Sunny was back from the bathroom.
The faint smell of lemons had followed her. I noticed a wet patch on her shirt collar, though she was quick to smile at me, admitting she'd spilled water down herself. Sunny wrapped her arms around Levi, squeezing him into a hug.
She hung on for a little too long, Tom dragging her away with a laugh. “Good luck, all right?” she backed away, ruffling his hair. “We’ve got this!”
When I hugged Levi good luck too, I had to resist covering my nose.
The smell of lemon was unbearable, just like fourth grade Alex.
But it wasn't as potent as earlier.
I vaguely remembered the smell starting to fade once Alex’s body was being carted away on a stretcher.
Following my captain through the crowd, I was right. The smell was less suffocating. Before he went back to the stage, I grabbed the back of his shirt.
The material was soaking wet.
“How are you so wet?” I said, swiping my hands on my shirt.
“Huh?”
I shook my head. “Never mind. Do you remember what I told you in sophomore year?”
Levi settled me with a confident, but nervous smile. “Thaaaat you're scared of clowns?”
“No. I mean the boy who smelled of lemons.” I gritted out.
Levi surprised me with a laugh. “What are you talking about?”
Something ice cold trickled down my spine.
Levi did know what I was talking about. He brought up my stink sense a day earlier in front of his parents, and I had to cover his mouth to shut him up.
Leaning close, I whispered in his ear. “You stink of rotten lemons.”
He nodded slowly, pulling away. “Uh… thanks?”
I bit back a hiss of frustration. “No, you don't understand what I'm saying–”
“Starbrooke High School,” The host announced. “Can all members please return to the stage.”
Levi held up his hand for a high five.
“Can we do this later?” He winked. “I'm kinda busy carrying this spelling-bee on my back right now.”
I nodded shakily, high fiving him, and letting him jump back onto the stage.
Before his words hit like a tidal wave, ice cold water slammed into me.
Spelling Bee?
Slowly making my way back to the stands, Levi’s mistake was circling around my head. He did win a spelling bee, but that was in middle school.
Thankfully, the smell of lemons was gone when I returned to my seat.
Mr Hanes handed me a soda. “Chill out, Cassandera, it's just a game.”
He could talk. The guy was on his fifth coffee.
Mr Hanes was not chilled out in the slightest.
Surprisingly, the event went well. I was half expecting my team to be crushed by the rafters, or caught in a blaze started in the crowd. But we were doing well. No, we were winning.
Reaching the climaxing round, Sunny choked against a smug Ratcliffe boy, joining me on the sidelines.
Levi answered the next question with a confident smile.
We were winning, but Ratcliffe could still catch up with a miracle.
The second to last question was to Ratcliffe, and it was general knowledge.
”Where on the human body would one find the *orbit?*
I knew the answer, and so did Levi, his lips breaking out into a smile when the Ratcliffe boy was hesitating, eyes wide.
Our school’s buzzer went off, Levi slamming his hand down.
Bzzz!
The host turned to our team. “Starbrooke, can I have your answer?”
Levi nodded, shooting our team a victory grin.
“It's…!“ He opened his mouth to answer, his jaw slackening suddenly.
The boy’s shoulders slumped.
“Uh… “
“Um…”
“Huhhhhh…”
Levi inclined his head, blinking, his eyes glazing over. There was a sudden, hollow vacancy that sent chills down my spine. It was like someone had reached into his skull, and yanked out his brain, leaving a shell in his place.
To my confusion, our team captain frowned at his buzzer like he'd never seen one before. He pressed it, exploding into child-like giggles.
Bzzz!
The audience laughed along nervously.
Tom nudged me. “What the fuck is he doing?”
Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz!
Levi’s entire body was slumped, his hand slamming down on the buzzer.
I caught something pooling down his chin.
“Is he… drooling?” I whispered.
Mr Hanes looked mildly horrified. “Has he been drinking?
“Levi?” Tom spluttered. “Drinking?!"
Whatever we were watching, however, was definitely influenced by… something.
Bzz. Bzz. Bzz. Bzz. Bzz!
“Young man, that is not a toy!”
The host wasn't amused. “Starbrooke High School, I need an answer from you,” He nodded to Levi, who was pressing the buzzer, his smile growing.
“Once again,” The host backed away, like Levi was contagious. “Where on the human body would one find the Orbit?”
Levi cocked his head, lips parted.
His gaze found the overhead lights, and he winced, his lips curling into a frown.
“Starbrooke High School!”
Levi jumped, tipping his head back and blowing a raspberry. “Palm tree?”
The audience laughed, and I started feeling nauseous.
Across from us, I could see the twist of a smirk on the Ratcliffe coach’s lips.
Bzzz! Levi slammed the buzzer again giggling.
“Starbrooke High School, if your team member continues to act like this, I will be forced to disqualify all members.”
Our captain stopped, gaze glued to the host, his hand creeping towards the buzzer, like it was a big red button.
The audience loved it, laughing like they were watching a sitcom.
“He wouldn't.” Tom whisper-shrieked.
The auditorium was silent for a moment, awaiting Starbrooke’s response.
Levi stuck out his tongue, slamming his hand down.
Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz–
When Tom dragged Levi away from his podium, a Ratcliffe girl hit her buzzer.
“Starbrooke High School, you are disqualified,” the host announced. “Ratcliffe High School, do you have an answer?”
It was Ponytail who nodded with a grin.
“The answer is the eye socket! The Orbit is part of the eye socket!”
“That is the correct answer.” The host was distracted, his eyes glued to Levi.
“Ratcliffe High School wins.”
Levi jumped when the Ratcliffe wide erupted into cheers.
His eyes were wide, clinging onto the buzzer for comfort.
Next to me, our coach looked like he was going to faint.
I barely noticed Ratcliffe’s victory, too busy watching our team captain, who was Harvard bound, tipping his head back and smiling at the ceiling like a new-born baby. Tom dragged the stumbling boy over to me, his mouth twisted.
“This was Ratcliffe, right?” He hissed, shaking our captain, who was struggling, squirming in his grip.
“Did they put something in his drink?!” He prodded Levi. “Hey! What did they do to you?!”
Still, though, drugging his drink didn't make sense.
Levi never left the auditorium, and kept his water bottle with him the whole time.
How did they even manage to slip something into his drink in the first place?
Did I smell our competitors drugging him?
Sure, intentionally inebriating my teammate was morally wrong and illegal, but why could I smell lemon?
“I doubt it was Ratcliffe.” Sunny squeezed next to me. “I've been watching them. They're harmless.”
“Then how the fuck do we explain this to his parents?!” Tom whispered, grappling with Levi, who was fighting to get back to the buzzer.
When Tom let go of him, he dropped onto the floor, crawling over to his podium. It was like watching a child.
Who was determined to piss off the adults.
Levi jumped back to instead feet, his gaze was glued to the host, a smile curved on his lips, when he slammed the buzzer again.
Bzzz!
“Someone, please remove the Starbrooke boy from the stage!”
I was embarrassed, our whole team ducking our heads as our captain was forcibly removed from the podium.
Mr Hanes grabbed Levi, pulling him off of the stage.
I expected our coach to be mad at him, but I think the teacher was more worried, a phone pressed to his ear while he forced the boy into a sitting position.
No, I don't think it's influence from alcohol, I could hear his conversation.
Levi kept trying to get up, mesmerised by the buzzer. The teacher was firm but gentle. “Hey. Sit down, all right? Keep still.” He went back to his phone call, gently prying Levi’s eyes open.
From what I can see, there's nothing wrong. He's just kind of…
Mr Hanes swiped his own hands on his jeans. ... wet?
Team Ratcliffe came over to rub it in our faces, though I was still tuned into our coach’s hissed whispering.
Water? No, I don't think it's water. It smells… no, I haven't told his parents…
“You guys did awesome!” Ponytail's voice was sugary sweet. Too sugary.
She held the 2024 trophy, bearing a satisfied smile. I noticed the Ratcliffe members were surrounding Harry, like guards.
“Better luck next time, okay?” She held out her hand, her eyes twinkling.
“No hard feelings?”
“Control your dog.” Harry said, amused eyes flicking to Levi, who was once again sprinting back to the fucking buzzer. His eyes had visibly darkened, lips curled into a triumphant smile.
Harry Cartwright was watching Mr Hanes chase our team captain like it was his own personal entertainment.
I had to look away before I died of second hand embarrassment.
“What did you put in his drink?” Tom demanded. “Weed? Edibles?” the boy attempted to shove Harry, only to be pushed back. “What the fuck did you do to him?”
Harry’s smile didn't waver. “Like I said. Control your mut.”
When the Ratcliffe team walked away, our red faced coach struggling with Levi, who was behaving progressively more erratically, informed us we were longer welcome inside the school.
Tom suggested calling an ambulance, but our coach was hesitant.
We all knew who Levi’s family were.
On the way out, Tom matched my stride. He was frowning at our team captain struggling to walk.
The way he was acting was already eyebrow raising.
But walking at an angle and being unable to stand up straight was worrying.
“I don't think they drugged his drink.” Tom muttered.
We pushed through the doors out of the school, and I revelled in the cool night air grazing my cheek. “If they did, he would be acting out of it, right? So, what's the deal with him acting like–”
“A child.” I finished for him.
“Yeah.” Tom leaned closer. “Do you think this has something to do with their turf war?”
I slapped at a bug creeping across my cheek.
Levi fell over again, this time bursting into giggles.
“Almost definitely.”
Levi was right about Ratcliffe playing dirty. I didn't realize how dirty until we were on the losers bus home. Levi was in the seat next to me, and the kid hadn't moved since we left Ratcliffe, his eyes wide, lips pulled into a dazed grin.
Bzzz!
The noise startled me from slumber. I was drooling, my head pressed against the window. Outside, the sky was pitch dark, and squinting through the glass, I couldn't get a bearing on where we were. I thought I was hearing things, but when I sat up, I heard it again.
Bzzz!
It was close.
Leaning over the boy, I glimpsed a smear of scarlet on his headrest.
I choked on my next words.
“Tom.”
Tom was in front of me, listening to music.
He didn't reply, his head of dark blonde curls nodding to the beat.
“Levi.” I managed to get out. I prodded him, and his head lolled into his shoulder. “Hey. Can you… sit up?”
Bzzz! Bzzz!
When the boy didn't move, I gently grabbed his shoulders and pulled him forward myself, something contracting in my stomach.
I don't know how long it takes for your mind to fully register something, but my body was already reacting.
Levi’s seat was infested with bugs, eating their way through the upholstery. I was aware of my body moving back. I threw up, instantly, screaming into my hand.
The back of my best friend's skull resembled a deflated soccer ball, what was left of his brain leaking from his skull where a swarm of skittering bugs chewed their way through brain tissue, metallic legs scratching the curved, pearly white of the base if his skull.
Levi’s head hung, his body flopping into mine.
But his eyes were still open, lips still stretched into a smile.
Blood ran in thick rivulets from his nose and ears.
Bzzz!
I could see them, black writhing dots alive in his eyes, wriggling movement under his skin.
“Tom!”
I jumped up, stumbling into the aisle, my stomach heaving.
And it was only when I was on my knees, swiping bile from my lips, when I realized the others weren't reacting.
Tom wasn't moving.
I pulled an Airpod out of his ear, a long, slithering string of pink attached to the end.
There was a stray bug skittering across his hand, his face starting to twitch and writhe.
Moving back, I checked myself over, my hands shaking.
Head.
Shoulders.
Hair.
Clawing through it, my breath was stuck in my throat.
Arms.
Legs.
Feet.
Mr Hanes was slumped against the window, a reddish froth bubbling from his mouth.
Sunny.
I started towards the back of the bus, but all I had to see was her bowed head, half of her skull chewed through.
Sunny was in a far more deteriorated state, her face had been ripped through, a skeletal smile glinting in the dim.
The thick black smear on the window next to her was moving.
When I screamed for the driver to stop the bus, he ignored me.
If anything, he stamped on the gas.
I moved forward to shake him, before glimpsing a bug creeping down his face.
Calling 911, the operator laughed at me.
“Bugs are eating your friends.” He said. “Do you know the penalty for calling with bullshit pranks?”
The bus didn't stop, so I stayed at the front, while the bugs took over the back, eating through my teammates.
After four hours, I risked leaning over the seat next to Tom to check on Levi.
They were eating him.
Chewing all the way through skin, muscle and bone.
I tried to stop the bus, but the driver’s hands were tightly wrapped around the wheel.
Another hour, and blood was seeping down the aisle, crawling with bugs.
Levi was gone, and in his place, a buzzing skittering pile of bugs, that I thought were going to move to a second victim, maybe burrowing into the seats.
But, no.
These things began to tremble, replicating.
Building.
Slowly, nothing became static, and static became muscle.
Then bone.
Then flesh.
When a body began to slowly form, moulded from the dead boy, I stumbled back.
These things weren't eating Levi Costella.
They were rewriting him.
…
Edit: I'm still on the bus. I'm 99.9% sure that I'm infected with whatever this thing is. I can't stop fucking itching.
I keep picking them off me but they won't stop. This bus isn't going to stop until I'm like the others.
…
Edit 2:
I can feel them chewing into my skull. They're in my ears. I keep spitting them out. Please, someone get them off of me. Help me. I don't want to die at 17.
Edit 3:
Still alive. Still breathing. Maybe they're leaving me alone????? I think I'm okay. There is a pile of bugs at my feet, but they're crawling off of me.
Edit 4:
Levi really wants to go home. Like, he just told me he REALLY wants to go home. He's got a gift for his parents.
~~Edit 5 :) ~~
Levi is next to me right now, an odd smile on his face.
The bugs are not finished building him yet, but he'll be ready soon.
We will be ready soon.
Your son says hello! He is a wonderful boy, is he not?
Mr and Mrs Costella, I cannot wait for you to meet him.
He is our greatest achievement, and rest assured, you will give us what we want.
Warm regards.
The Cartwright's.

As the world faded away into nothing but a dark void, Tom felt the only mildly familiar sensation of magic flowing like a gentle stream. It wasn’t much of a draw, but it was certainly noticeable.
“Right, best make this quick then,” he tried thinking to himself, feeling the flow peak as he did.
“Who is this? Make what quick?” an ethereal sounding female voice replied. It did sound a bit like how he remembered Joelina sounding. Though she did not exactly sound calm.
“Uhm… Hello? Anyone there?”
“Yes hello. Who is this? What must be done quick? Answer me at once!”
“It’s Tom… Is that you, Joelina?”
“Yes of course it is! Stupid dragons taking ages, I have questions for you! So many questiiioooonssss...”
“Yeah I figured that… Fire away I suppose.” Tom replied a little uncertainly as to just what he might be in for.
“Firstly! Did you read the letters?”
“I did yeah…”
“Disregard them, I have learned much since they were written! So much more yes, cursed blessed knowledge…”
“So you do know we have gone to space then?”
“What? No, I re-experienced the memory you had of the movie about the moon mission. It was evident on the second watching that it was trickery of the eye! Spaceflight is but a myth!”
“Riiight.”
“Then how have your kind visited space? And what of the gods above!? it was evident that the woman with the crystals was but a fraud!” Joelina explained with all the calm and restraint of a shoppingmall Karen
“Well the rockets to the moon, that did happen.” Tom attempted, doing his best to remain calm and diplomatic. “The movie you saw was probably a recreation… Tell me, did things go wrong on that trip but they made it home anyway?”
“Yes, do you know of what I speak? Ahr what am I proclaiming! of course you do it is your own memories, how could I forget.”
“Yea…, you watched a movie about Apollo 13 I think. Good movie, and that all happened too. Like for real happened”
“I see…” Joelina replied, sounding rather unstable. “And what of the gods?”
“We ain’t got any. Well not in space at least.”
“Impossible!”
“No, quite possible. Many still believe in gods though, but let’s not get into that too much. It’s a right old mess.”
“No, you must tell me what happened to the gods? Have they left you?”
“Well some think so, but no. I just think it all works a bit different for us. They might be a little more hands off.”
“But the churches… and these religious warriors you did battle with,” the inquisitor all but muttered to herself, sounding like she was struggling to put pieces together. “Do Jesus and Islam fight for power then? no no, they would have long since lost the battles to the ancient gods of war the teachers spoke of… though why they were always naked eludes me yeeees…”
“No, again we don’t really have gods just floating around... Could we please talk about something else? Or is that all you wanted to know?” Tom tried, hoping he really didn’t have to dive deeper into that particular subject.
“No no don’t you dare cut me off! I have seen what you talked of, nuclear fire and missiles, ships of the oceans and planes soaring in the skies. But is it not all fake? Surely it must be! It must be? It must be…”
“I don’t know what you saw… but we have ships sailing around. If you’ve ever seen flying ships like you have here then that’s fake I can assure you of that. We do have airships, but they look more like really big long balloons.”
“But we could make such vessels, or someone could from times past. If you can visit the moon then surely you can make a ship for the skies!”
“No no, we ain’t got grav oil. Or dragon essence as I guess it’s called. That means no anti gravity, and that means weight is a very very big problem for anything you wanna make fly. Planes and helicopters are how we fly. Remember how I flew to Afghanistan on a big ass plane? Or when I learned to parachute later?”
“What is parachute? is it the ham from your times doing, vacationing? what has dried meat products got to do with flying machines of battle!”
“Wooo easy now easy. I guess you didn’t get that far yet. Uhm. It’s a cloth kite you dangle from and then glide to the ground. Very good fun.”
“A cloth kite used to fly?... such strange inventions. Wait was there not a movie of with something of that nature? yeeee… there was a song. I liked that song… something something brains upon his chute. Yeesss…”
“Yeah… You’ll know it when you see it. I have one actually.” Tom clarified trying not to get too weirded out.
“You must demonstrate on a suitable occasion.”
“Yeah… I do have a question too though,” Tom replied, letting silence reign for a short time. “...Your last letter was in Danish.”
“Oh, uhm yes. I- I was having some difficulty separating what was real and what was not… I still am. Do not tell Glazz, she musten know the truth yet. She seeks to limit my excursions.”
“You’ve ended up like I did, have you?”
“No no no, the effects do indeed recede as expected, everything is in good order… But I had to know more. So so much moooore.”
“Maybe you should cool it a bit. You never know when a brain snaps. Or how,” Tom tried, confident his advice would be ignored.
“There is not time!”
“And why is that? How is it going in our beloved Inquisition?”
“Mind your tongue, human! Things are progressing, but so are our enemies. Infiltrators have been caught, traitors within our ranks are making their moves. The reemergence of Rashan, attacks on mines, keeps and a daring heist attempt at a Royal Guard fortress! The game is afoot, we cannot delay.”
“You can’t overreach yourself either. Weren’t you supposed to be winning over the rest of the inquisition right about now? Can’t do that as a gibbering mess.”
There was silence for a while more after that. “Glazz sent you a letter? What did it say?! You may not keep secrets from me- wait not… I should confiscate her arm… she cannot write with her left. Yes far better plan, avoid upsetting him. And fill her pen with invisible ink. Yes very good.”
“No, it’s just obvious to any idiot. But what about winter, won’t things slow down?”
“They should, yet as autumn progresses it has only been picking up. I hope they too are running out of time… But time for what? I must know what they are planning. They might be behind schedule. But what SCHEDULE! sorry…”
“Well you’re not gonna find the answer to that in my memories, now are you?”
“You were sent by someone. You are here for a purpose. I must know this purpose. It will help me understand. The puzzle is large and much of the box kept from me.”
“As far as I’m concerned, I’m here to help you guys get in gear. That’s a decades to centuries long sorta problem, not a couple of years. Sounds like this war will be in the couple of years category.”
“Then why now? Why did you arrive now?!”
“Shitty luck? Sounds like 10 years ago would have been a lot better… Oh on that note, did you hear? We found something down below.”
“No, Paulin would have told me.”Joelina dismissed, he could almost feel her turning her snout up and away from him.
“Well we opened the vault like 3 days ago,” Tom replied, quite surprised Paulin hadn’t said anything. “Wait yeah she can send you messages, no? She sent the message about what we wanted to buy too, didn’t she?... How did she do that by the way? Why didn’t you just have her ask me questions?”
“That is not for you to know, and this is not for her.”
“Really? More secrets still? Come on, tell me or I’ll let you think flying whales exist.”
“I know those are not real. If they were, you would have harvested them long ago! likely for some deranged snack… or facial decoration.”
“True, but you get the idea,” Tom persisted, feeling like this was something worth pushing for. Why would Paulin not have let her precious Joelina know?
“Very well. This does not leave your mind… In the name of, what was it called… camaraderie. Paulin is in possession of joined paper. Messages may be written down and read by anyone with similarly joined paper. Unsecured. Originally believed to be fore love letters… dastardly studs and wenches using perfectly good magic for such trivialness… simply tie the message to a rock and throw it though the window. Most peasants cannot even afford glass” Joelina trailed off, seemingly zoning out once more.
“You have magical paper that can relay written information… and you don’t fucking use it!?” Tom explaimed, not quite believing what he was hearing.
“No, we do not know how to make freshly bonded paper… only more linked to all other paper in existence…” Joelina agreed. He could almost feel her looking at the floor in shame. “But it is not as if you are infallible, why did you not bring one of these radios?”
“I uhm…”
“Why didn’t you?!”
“I forgot,” Tom admitted, thinking back to his packing days. Of all the things that could have proven useful, that one might have been his biggest blunder.
“For the love of all that is holy! You are our saviour?!” Joelina scolded, understandably so, but still.
“Hey I never claimed to be smart!”
“I have lived your dreams. That is a lie! You very much claim to be smart!”
“Fuck off, I know you are just a scared little insecure girl.”
“She died 30 years ago!”
“Well I haven’t gotten to that bit yet!”
“What in the devils do you mean?” Joelina questioned calming right down in a fraction of a second.
“I’ve only had like three proper dreams about you… wait no, not like that,” Tom blurted out as it clicked just how wrong that sounded. Joelina didn’t seem to care in the slightest though.
“Three? That is it!?” going right back to outrage.
“Yeah… Wait, how many have you had?” Tom questioned. He rather wanted to know just how much she might know about him in addition to the memories she had already picked through when inside his head.
“Several a day!” the inquisitor exclaimed in reply.
“Okay, I can see how that would drive someone a bit mad.”
“I am not going mad!”
“Did Glazz say the same thing?” Tom questioned, quite certain he was striking a nerve.
There was no reply for quite some time, Tom feeling the headache growing as things grew tranquil once more. He could feel his breath. It was rapid, and his heart was pounding. He probably shouldn’t do this for much longer. Thus he endeavored to break the silence.
“You probably should listen to her you know.”
“No! These matters are above her station!”
“Hasn’t she been in the Inquisition longer than you?”
“She has yes. But she is no inquisitor. She is a body guard.”
“Seems like she is a wee bit more than that,” Tom pushed on. He didn’t yet know how those two came to stick together, but it was clear they had been working together for decades by now. All the way since she was assigned to Harvik
“Mind your own matters, human.”
“Very well, don’t think I can keep this up anyway.”
“We have barely been chatting! Where do the dogs come from?!”
“Selective breeding for thousands of years. But I’m gonna go. Take a break, do what Glazz says… even if Jacky hates her.”
Yet more silence followed that, though it was brief and Joelina was the first to speak again.
“Fine! In the interest of cooperation I shall let you rest. Wear the earring at all times, I shall be contacting you again soon.”
“I think I’m gonna be the judge of that. I’ll put it on when I feel like it.”
“You will do as I say!”
“You need a nap and a bit to calm down. I’ll give you three days. Around noon. See yah… How do I get this thing off?”
“I’m not telling you,” Joelina grumped like a little girl. She really didn’t seem quite like herself at all today. She had been the spitting image of restraint and arrogance before. The arrogance was still there, but the restraint had certainly gone.
“Come on, do I just try to cut off the magic or is that a bad idea?”
“If you answer a question I might answer.”
“Right then… Gimme gimme gimme aaaa-”
“JUST CUT IT! Farewell!” she called out loud enough Tom’s head pulsed and then there was blissful silence once more.
“Hehe. That did the trick, right concentrate on that funny feeling aaan-”
__________________________________________________________________________________
After dinner had been rounded up, Dakota had given a brief address as to some of the news received. There wasn’t much that hadn’t already made the rounds at the tables during the dinner itself. The war had been expanding, recruitment had started in full in the cities, and if not for the rather special situation at Bizmati they could have expected their banners to get called by spring.
Rumors had it that the kingdom was preparing itself for counterstrikes the following spring, which meant training through the winter for many volunteers.
“And a lot of not so volunteers,” Fengi muttered as Dakota carried on with the address.
“You can say that twice. At least the street rats might get something to eat and a place to sleep,” Tirox the trader escort added.
“I suppose that is true. Not a bad deal in winter time… I might even have taken it.”
“But we must instead keep our minds on our home,” Dakota carried on, talking to the whole hall. “There can be no mistake, we will be a target. We will be ready. They are getting bolder by the day it seems. It is not impossible they may attempt to take our keep before the winter comes. Or perhaps they will be waiting for spring. It is equally clear their forces are spread thin. We will weather such assaults, I have no doubt. But we must keep training. We must keep vigil. We cannot afford to be surprised or outmatched. I know you will all do your best. And tonight, we have no less than 4 dragons here. So breathe easy, have your snacks and your drinks. If the weather holds soon we will be finished with the warehouse and then we may make final preparations for winter. It is sure to be an interesting one for once.”
The hall replied with a half-discordant cheer, not overly enthusiastic unlike what Dakota had likely envisioned. The talk of them possibly getting attacked even before the snow came wasn’t really that encouraging. But Dakota tended to speak her mind, and she was probably right. Bizmati keep would be a damn tough nut to crack. And to Dakota’s credit she did seem to recognize she hadn’t really managed to rile them up.
“Didn’t you hear me?” she tried again in a slightly more humorous tone. “Eat, drink, and have fun! And put those tables together, don’t want you brooding in your corners.”
That did get a bit more of a reaction, as well as some good humored chuckles. People started getting up and set about moving the tables closer together.
It was a little rude to split up their guests in the same way as they normally did. Saph carried one of the benches over to the new spot, glancing around for any sign of Maiko, but there was no sign of him anywhere.
Feeling a little miffed, she sat down with the others as Ray came back with one of the small kegs of cider looking very excited. “We should have a taste, right?”
“Oh yes please!” Pho called out, Essy giving her a slight slap on the wrist.
“This one is only for those who paid for it. You will have to do with whatever you bought. Or the ale I’m sure they intend to serve.”
“Aww man. Not even a sip?”
“Okay, maybe a sip,” Essy relented. “Oh, I should get Koko his gift.”
“You got him a gift?” Saph questioned with mirth in her voice.
“Of course, that is what people do for each other… you did get Maiko something, right?”
Saph felt her expression slip a little as she prepared to disappoint their chief people person. “No, not really…”
“All that money and you didn’t get him shit? That’s cold girl,” Pho laughed, clearly finding it hilarious.
“Oh shut up, not as if I got something for Unkai either,” Fengi added, springing to Sapphire’s defence, though it seemed like the delivery had Fengi second guessing herself as well.
Esmeralda did look a little saddened by the news, but she was far too nice to say anything. Tirox however had no such filter.
“Oh don’t worry about it, just gotta go with a different sort of gift.” The diminutive guard laughed heartily at his joke. Udanti found it quite funny as well, and Pho certainly loved it. Bo just shook her head a little and went back to a small puzzle of some sort she had been working on, on and off, for most of the dinner by now.
“So uhm… One mug each?” Ray questioned, having been left hanging at the keg.
“Oh yes sorry, just the one, this stuff is expensive,” Saph replied, holding out her mug, Ray pushing it back down.
“One moment.” And she produced a wooden mallet and one of the metal taps. It looked like one of Raulf’s, so it was probably old as faded dragonscales.
Ray gingerly placed it against the cork and raised the mallet as the table fell silent in anticipation.
With a whack the tap went in clean with hardly a drop spilled, and Ray breathed a visible sigh of relief. “Right there we go.”
There was a quick round of cheers from the table, and Ray started pouring servings.
“Oh got yours open, have you?” the voice of Balethon came as the guard came walking up to the table, mug in hand and lizard on shoulder. “You all know we are gonna have to work out who got the better stuff, right?”
“Oh does it always have to be a competition with you, Balethon?” Saph questioned. She had just wanted to enjoy the cider.
“Look who is talking… And yeah of course we do! Just think of the bragging rights.”
Ray didn’t look too thrilled, nor did any of the girls who had actually paid for the keg. The rest of the table seemed to think it was a brilliant idea, even as Balethon’s voice carried and heads started to turn as people started to mingle between the now closely together tables.
“I’ll be the independent adjudicator!” Tirox declared, not receiving much attention as the full mugs started to get passed around. “Oh come on. I’ll be fair!”
“Shut it pipsqueak, you’ll end up taking 10 rounds of tastings before you make up your mind,” Udanti scolded, though in good humor.
“I might…” the guy relented, looking to Balethon. “Ey, by the way. Did you teach the brainlet any tricks?”
“Sure, Skitters can do a few things.”
“Aside from chasing the food?”
“You know what I think he might yeah,” Balethon replied sarcastically, gently tapping the static lizard twice on the head. The lizard didn’t do much save skitter about on his shoulder to face Balethon’s head, one eye pointing in whichever direction.
‘That thing just looks so dumb,’ Saph thought to herself as Ray handed her a mug. “Oh thank you.”
“Okay, Skitters. Up,” Balethon went, raising a claw into the air as if he wanted the lizard to jump. Or perhaps stand up. “Up… come on.”
There was no reaction from the lizard aside from it jerking to the left a bit, possibly having spotted a fly or something.
“Weeeell obedience might need some work,” Udanti chuckled. “Have you tried with some food in your hand?”
“Sure, then he just tries to eat the hand. Come on, Skitters. Up!” Balethon tried again, doing the gesture once more. And this time the little lizard jumped into the air. The little legs stretched out, taking its pitiful excuse for wings with it, and it half-fell half-glided to the floor where it hit with all the grace of a 6 year old on his first lesson. The slightly fat lizard bounced once, then rolled over twice before coming to a stop, looking around confused.
“Aaayyy! That’s a good boi,” Balethon went, going to pick it up again before someone stepped on it or it ran off under the tables. “And now you get a treat.” True to his word Skitters was fed a small piece of something or other which it seemed quite happy to snap up.
Fengi leaned in to whisper to Saph. “Was that the trick or did it just get sick of staying there?”
“I have no idea,” Saph replied, holding up her mug. “Cheers though.”
“Cheers,” Fengi replied as they clinked mugs.
“Oh hang on now, wait for me,” Essy protested as Ray finished pouring her mug and started on her own, looking to the girls as she questioned “Oh, also what about Jacky? Should we wait for her?”
“Who knows how long that will take?” Fengi replied, holding her mug impatiently.
“I’m sure she won’t mind. She is with Tom. We’ll let him have a mug as well,” Essy added with a reassuring nod, looking up to the high table. “Oh but we are missing Lin!”
“Oh right yeah she paid too… I can’t remember, did Edita chip in?”
“I don’t think so,” Sapphire replied, shaking her head as Essy got up to go fetch Linkosta. Balethon decided to take her place, a big grin on his face.
“So what else is going on over here?”
“Oh not much, hellooo little guy,” Pho went, trying to give skitters a scritching. In exchange he tried to eat her finger. “Oh… I mean I guess it doesn’t hurt.”
“Oh yeah, he can’t hurt a fly… well he can, but nothing more.”
“Shame he won’t get any bigger either,” Udanti added, nodding sagely. “Would have made a good rat hunter.”
“Nah… toe hunter though. Also where is the ale at?”
“Oh Raulf and Wiperna are getting ale and some of the bubble beer.”
“What is bubble beer?” Udanti questioned, tilting her head.
“Oh you’ll love it,” Saph interjected, waiting patiently as she saw Essy and Linkosta returning to the table out of the corner of her eye. “It’s an ale but it’s all fizzy.”
“Riiight… I’ve heard of fizzy beers before.”
“Oh yes, but this one is so much more fizzy.”
“It’s light and almost springlike.”
“Light ale? You mean for kids?”
“No no no. Just trust us it’s good.”
“Right right, I trust you,” the archer replied, looking to Essy and Linkosta, who seemed to be looking for a place to sit. “Should we not just put two end to end rather than this scrunching up business?”
“Yeah we should… Right get the craftsman table over here then. We don’t wanna have to smell the guards,” Saph called out, holding up her mug.
“Hey! That was uncalled for,” Balethon protested as Ray passed a mug to Linkosta. The girls all raised their mugs and had a sip, not willing to wait any longer. They all smacked their chops a little, looking down at the golden liquid. It was slightly fizzy too… and it tasted like the brew of the gods themselves. Ray was looking at them all visibly tense with anticipation and perhaps a twinge of fear.
“Ray… You have not disappointed,” Saph declared, nodding her approval, a smile creeping onto her face once more.
“Oh this is the best drink I think I’ve ever had,” Fengi added, taking another gentle sip.
Ray looked visibly relieved, her expression changing to one of ecstasy as she too took a sip herself. “Oh it’s even better than I remember. I’m glad you liked it.”
“Like it?! I love it!” Fengi cheers, Essy giving an appreciative nod to Ray before looking to Lin.
“Sooo?”
“It’s very good… Do you think we could try and cool it down a little? Imagine this cold.”
“It is often served cold, yes,” Ray confirmed, nodding her assent.
“I’ll go get the powder!” Saph called out, getting up. “I have got to try that.”
__________________________________________________________________________________
The strange ethereal world that had seemed so all-consuming started to quickly fade. Holes grew as light and reality started seeping in, sounds and noise starting to build around him. “Oom-Tom… Tom, are you okay?” came the familiar voice of Jacky as his eyes shot open and he blinked a few times as he returned to reality proper.
“Yeah yeah, I’m here… That is trippy, but hey, I think it worked.”
“How many fingers?” Jacky questioned, holding up her hand.
“4. Clear as day.”
“Pheeew. Okay look around, anything strange?”
Tom obeyed, sitting up a bit straighter and glancing about the room. “Nnnnn, nope all good. Just like last time I used one of these.”
“Right, good. Now what did she say?”
“Oh a bunch of stuff… mostly we chatted a bit about how she’s going a touch mad. Even Glazz thinks she’s falling apart at the seams apparently. She was also not happy I wanted a break.”
“Oh don’t tell me you have to do this every day from now on?”
“I said she had 3 days to get ready to try again. Hopefully she’ll have her case worked out by then.”
“Here’s to hoping… also how is your head? Does it hurt?”
“A bit, it’ll go away I’m sure.”
“Right,” Jacky replied, looking at him skeptically. “If it gets worse, tell me. But dinner was served a while ago I think. And I’m hungry.”
“Me too, let’s go.”
__________________________________________________________________________________
Well then, Joelina got her chat. She seems fine... I am sure she will continue to be a steadfast ally, within the walls of the inquisition for many weeks to co- I mean years, definetly years.
As always I hope you enjoyed the chapter, if not you know who to blame. I promise I won't cry to much if you tell me what was wrong... I promise.
Not really any news, other than fuck me I'm a busy boi, luckily I found the time to keep up with the writing yet, hopefully things will quet down soon so I can get back to begin a bit further ahead.
Untill next time, take care
Wiki and Art Gallery If you can't remember who someone is, want to read any of the side stories of fanfiction, or you just wanna watch some of the cool art that's been made for the story. Patreon If you want to help get more cool shit made consider joining the Patreon, you also get chapters two weeks ahead of time. HoH Subreddit if you want more stories from the HoH universe or are interested in writing something for this funny little world. Discord if you wanna have a chat about the story or just hang out First Previous

Most of you are probably already aware of this theory. It has been around for years. The great twist of Yandere Simulator will be the reveal that Megami and Ayano are sisters.
This had been a widly accepted theory since the release of Megami's first design, back when she still had black hair. Her design at the time was extremely similar to Kill la Kill character, Satsuki Kiryun. For those who are unaware, Satsuki is the main antagonist of the anime, and the president of the student council the protagonist attends. The plot twist of the anime is that she is the protagonist's sister.
Considering Alex knows about Kill la Kill, as proven by several easter eggs, it's likely he decided to use the same plot twist for Yandere Simulator. Megami's design was changed to not give it away immediatly, but of course, Alex couldn't keep his damn mouth shut, so there are many, MANY details that confirm this theory. I said details ? I should have said pages.
However, I feel like a lot of people are glossing over many details about this theory, and have many misconceptions about it. Notably, about how Megami and Ayano are related. So I decided to give my own theory, including all the... uh... subtle evidences we get in the game.
Crazy Grandpa master plan
No need to beat around the Saikou family's bush (or should I say tree, wink wink), you probably know about the Saikou Grandpa eugenics tendencies. His goal is to create the perfect human being, and he plans on using that by acheving the perfect combination of genetics.
So you might not know about this, but there are two major theories about the development of an individual. It's nature against nurture. Is an individual as he is because he was born this way, or because he grew to be this way. Is a person a blank slate at birth, or is their individuality already present from birth. This plays into determinism, I won't go into more details for a Yandere Simulator dumb theory, but you can look it up if you're interested.
So, to go back to Crazy Grandpa, he was probably on the side of nature at first. He only reproduced after he found the perfect wife, as he didn't want his gene pool to be "tainted", going as far as to DNA her on random shit. How did he DNA test her in the 60s is anyone's guess but let's move on.
The result were two children, Ichiko and Ichirou. Ichiko was raised rather normally, and ended up leaving the Saikou family as she didn't want to become the CEO. Crazy Grandpa saw it as the failure of his belief in nature, and decided to switch to nurture with Ichiro.
So Ichirou was raised with high expectations, to the point he acted like a robot, but Crazy Grandpa was very proud about what he had become.

Saishou carefully designed a very specific upbringing for Ichirou in order to encourage the development of specific personality traits and interests, and discourage the development of any attribute that he considered to be 'unnecessary'.

The boy spoke formally at all times, never expressed emotion, and rarely changed his facial expression. The Saikou family's attendants often wondered if the boy was still capable of independent thought, or if he was simply an empty shell that had been trained to carry out his father's will." Beside that, nothing else is known about his personality.
Familiar, isn't it ? We also learn that this is Saisho's conception of an "ideal person".
It is mentionned Grandpa was the one to chose Ichirou's wife, with the same criteria as he chose his own wife. Again, a perfect wife, because he didn't want his son to waste all the work he had put to this point to have a perfect bloodline. To this point, grandpa got the living proof that nurture works, but he still can't let go of his belief nature plays a part in it.
If only there was a way to run an experiment that could give an answer to this question...
The theory
The sisters theory is that Megami and Ayano are sisters, but there are usually divergences on how they are related. Keep in mind that I will be using the old timeline from 1980s mode as a template. It's already inaccurate as Yandere Simulator isn't set in 2022 anymore, but in 2026. But I don't care, the events probably play the same way.
Megami and Ayano are revealed in this timeline to have been born in the same year. You'll notice that the timeline mentions the birth of "Ryoba's daughter", and the birth of "Ichirou's daughter". Keep in mind that Jokichi isn't mentioned as Ayano's father.
And that's where we come to the main misconception in this theory.
Who are Megami's parents ?
Ichirou is obviously Megami's father. However, many have theorized that Ryoba is Megami's biological mother. This theory goes both way, either Megami and Ayano are twins separated from birth, or Saikou kept an egg from Ryoba and inseminated the Wife. This would make her Ayano's maternal half-sister.
I don't suscribe to this theory. Well, first of all, considering the timeline, Crazy Grandpa was the one behind the deal we'll mention later with Ryoba. I don't think he would have wasted his time finding a wife with perfect genes for his son if he had planned for her to only be an incubator.
Also, another reason, Megami's little antenae. It's a part of her design that she gets from her mother. The Wife is also mentioned to have given birth to two children, Megami and Kencho, which wasn't a necessary precision. Alex would have probably found a way to circumvent this if she hasn't really have birth to Megami.
So no, sorry, Megami probably isn't a yandere.
So... if Ayano and Megami aren't related throught Ryoba... how are they sisters ?
Through Ichirou. Simply enough.
Yeah, as great of a dad Jokichi is, he is probably not Ayano's biological father. Ayano is a copy paste of Ryoba, so he doesn't share anything in common with Ayano design-wise, that could indicate he is indeed her father. We don't even know that much about him as an adult. The Characters page doesn't mention him being Ayano's father, he is only described as the student he was back in the 80s.
However, Ichirou is described as extremely similar personality wise to Ayano. While Ayano is probably emotionless due to the Aishi curse, she is way more stoic than Ryoba in her own mode. But that's still a weak evidence, this is way I will back this up with the timeline.
We know that Ryoba has given birth to a daughter very late compared to her own mother and grandmother. These reasons are said to be plot related and big spoilers. Again, Ayano's father isn't mentioned as a parent, only Ryoba.

I recently went through my text document that lists all character ages and birthdates and changed a few things. Aishi women now give birth at 18. Ryoba, however, gave birth at 31, for plot-related reasons that will be revealed in the true ending (or perhaps in the basement tapes).

So, this is my own theory on what happened.
Just shut up and tell us what happened already
In the timeline, it is mentioned Ryoba's mother kept her Senpai in her basement. In 1984, when Ryoba was still a child, Saikou Corp renovated all the houses in Buraza Town for free, including Ryoba's house. Why was this even mentioned ? Because it was the first meeting between the Saikou and Aishi families.
Crazy Grandpa found out about the weird shit happening in the Aishi's basement. He learns about the Aishi curse. He decides to keep an eye on the Aishi's daughter at Akademi. Everything Ryoba did to get her Senpai convinces him the Aishi gene is the perfect gene to create an emotionless heir.

Kocho is extremely reluctant to let Ryoba return to the school, stand on a stage, and hand her a diploma but was told by Saisho Saikou to let it go.

He orders his men to abduct Jokichi as an hostage, so she would agree to have a meeting. That's when they made a deal, that Ryoba would be the mother of the future Saikou heir. But not only is Ichiro not old enough, he wants to find the perfect wife for him. She can marry her Senpai and have well paying jobs in the meantime.
Ten years after that, Ryoba has a meeting with Saikou and his son. And according to Kencho, she is apparently a regular.

She walked straight through the waiting room and directly into Mr. Saikou's office, without even speaking a single word to the secretary.

How long had that woman been coming here? How often? What business did she have here?
Kencho asks the secretary details, and we are told :

The secretary was silent for a few moments, and then gave me some generic platitude about how "the details of Mr. Saikou's appointments must be kept strictly confidential."

So either Saisho fired the previous secretary, or this meeting must be extremely confidential. Because that secretary was a huge gossip when it came to Ichiro and Saisho's falling off.
We get the confirmation it is a big deal as all the employees act the same at the mention of Ryoba.

When they saw how distraught I was, they were eager to help, but...
...When I asked them about that woman who just walked by, they... their attitudes changed in a heartbeat.
They slowly turned away from me and returned to their work in silence.
They ignored me, as if I wasn't even there! I haven't been treated like that since I was a schoolboy!

It was as if that woman was a taboo subject that no-one was allowed to speak of...or that...
He asks about her several times but Crazy Grandpa shuts him down. Kencho mentions Ichiro was there for all the meetings, but he has only heard him speak a handful of times. However, we also know that Ryoba and Ichiro have spoken with each other.
2004, Ichiro is in his mid-twenties. He gets married to the Wife. That's when his two daughters are born : Megami is born to the Wife, as the official heir to Saikou. Ayano is born to Ryoba, away from the Saikou family, as the bearer of the Aishi curse.
How exactly what Ayano born ? It is unlikely Ryoba would have cheated on Jokichi, which is why many have theorized on an insemination. Considering Saikou is a tech company, it's not out of reach.

He had two children, in accordance with his father's wishes; 'One as a backup in case the first child fails you.'

Yes, this might refer to Kencho. But this might also refer to Ayano. After all, Saisho did have twin daughters, before having a spare...
One was raised to be emotionless. One was born emotionless. It was the old debate, nurture against nature. Which one would produce the perfect heir to the eyes of the Saikou ?
Crazy grandpa retires in 2019, right before Megami and Ayano enter Akademi, and Ichiro becomes CEO.
Ichiro wants to select the perfect heir. And for that, he decides he will select the one who will come out on top, between Megami and Ayano. He seals a deal with Kencho about Ayano.

There is...one tape...that I'm already prepared to part ways with... The tape I made after Mr. Saikou's recent, ah...demands. It's far, far too risky for a recording like that to exist... That one...must be destroyed...immediately.

We know this deal is about Ayano. When Kencho kills Ayano as he feels threatened, he says "Mr. Saikou, the deal is off".
Ryoba and Jokichi both work for Saikou. We know from the headmaster that Ryoba and Ichiro have frequent meetings. She is able to walk in his office regularly. Why ? To discuss their daughter.
When Ryoba announces they are going to America, and Jokichi worries about their job, she says she gave a call to their boss and "he was very understanding". I used to interpret this as their boss being scared of Ryoba. But if their boss is Ichirou, there might be a reason he was so understanding. If Jokichi and Ryoba were to get away from Buraza Town, they wouldn't get in the way of his plans.
After Ayano disposes of Osana, we get a cutscene where he is on the phone with Ichiro. He seems very pleased with the unfolding events, and tells Kencho these deaths are "necessary casualties" for the "progress of science". Normal CEO activity, nothing wrong here.
But Megami also learns about this, as she is aware of the presence of a dangerous individual. Either Ichiro told her, or she might have discovered it by herself. Ichiro keeps her away from school for several weeks. She attends school through Zoom.
In very early builds of the game, you could find a laptop in the school. You would get to see Megami as a shadowy figure, back when she still had black hair. And here's her monologue :

I know who you are. I know WHAT you are. My father won't allow me to attend school while you are... "active". He has a reason for tolerating your presence at this school. I don't. You are a vulgar creature that is only allowed to exist because you serve a purpose. If it was my decision, then every last one of you would be exterminated.

And here's the end of Megami's description.

Megami clearly has some very important information that would cause her to go to such extreme lengths...but what does she know? Does Saikou Corp have anything to do with it? And, more importantly, does Senpai have anything to do with it?

So yeah, that's it for me folks, I'm putting the tin foil hat away and going back to my regular activities. If you have any counterpoint or anything to add, please tell it in the comments.

hey guys!! my name is maggie and I personally have experienced loneliness to a large degree after entering college~ because of my personal experiences, I feel like I have a responsibility to solve this problem for other people.
I'm going to start off with some advice on how to make deeper conversation, and then I'll talk about an app I'm helping create where you can answer deep questions and form authentic and meaningful relationships. We're combatting the Gen-Z loneliness epidemic and helping you dive deeper, challenging superificial and surface-level social media.
As I’m very interested in deep and philosophical conversation, and that has helped me form very close friendships in my life, I’ll try to share some things that I’ve noticed about deep convos:

• Ask “why?”: dive into the motivations, purpose, meaning behind the topics you’re talking about, to go below the surface. Try to understand their core values, how they think, why they do the things they do. This question best comes from a place of true curiosity; focus on listening rather than being listened to.
• Be brave and be vulnerable. Many times, deep conversation only happens when the environment is set for people to be comfortable talking about personal topics. That means, someone has to help set the environment. Why not you? :) Take the leap and maybe share something about yourself, being open and vulnerable in your words. People appreciate this, and hopefully they’ll match your energy and share something in return!
• Be authentic. Don’t be afraid to show your true self and express your genuine opinions. People are too focused on thinking about themselves and their own lives to judge you. Just be yourself, and if they accept you they accept you; if they don’t, they don’t. How they choose to perceive you is none of your business- all you can do is stay authentic and don’t worry about what you can’t control :)

I’m personally trying to normalize deep conversation in society.
This is aligned with what I'm helping create: a platform to foster meaningful and authentic relationships, by answering deep questions and connecting with like-minded individuals. I hope this platform helps you out in some way :^) If you’re looking for soul friends, make sure to check us out:
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have a great day everyone <3