I (26M) caught my girlfriend (23F) in a web-of-lies.
I'm extremely devasted and my mind is clouded as I write this, but I have caught my girlfriend (23F), with which we have been dating for 6 years in a web-of-lies 3 Times in our dating period.
She has left me in my lowest point.
In the beginning of our releationship I caught her deleting a messages on her Iphone. I then confronted her and she told me that she deleted those messages because I would get the wrong impression of them and would end the releationship. She told me that she was scared to lose me, as I'm jealous of other males, which in fact is true, but I think my feelings were right all along.
I forgot the content of the message.
I let it slide, since we were in the beginning of our releationship (Maybe 1-2 years into it) and I also wasn't faithful at that time. I have even shared this with her at some points of the releationship, as I'm honest. The thing is that she said that she loves me so much that she would never do such a thing to me.
Slowly - I let my guard down, as she was with me during very hard moments in my life, where she could have easily left. As I let my guard down - I started adoring her and the thought of other girls started to dissappear.
She was extremely sweet, innocent and loving. No matter what I did - she was always there for me to support me and was always on my side.
I started focusing more on work, we were seeing each other everyday and everything was flourishing, but I never stopped being envious when she came with me at a disco/bar with friends or where there were other males.
I always felt as she had an eye out for some of them and always felt like I didn't satisfy her completely, as she had previously made remarks about our sexual encounters, which were above regular.
I slowly started to trust her more, as she continiously gained my trust by her action. Meanwhile I was 100% focused on my businesses and success.
She was working in a kid's playground and selling cakes. I was always there and supporting her.
As my success progressed - we started to go out on world trips on the most beautiful places and fell deeply in love (or so I thought)
4 years had passed by. She was still good an innocent (or so I thought).
On the 4th year - I made a project that made me life-changing money. I took her in Dubai with my whole family and spent a fortune to please them. Unfortunately - she was not happy there, I felt like she didn't support me at that moment. She didn't care what I did, she didn't care about my success. She tells me 'This is your success, not mine' 'This is your money, not mine' I told her I want to buy a house for us and she said 'This will be your house'
I then fell into an emotional pit, because everything I do is to support my family and create one wit her.
I got extremely mad, this feeling didn't fade away. I wanted to end it with her, because she didn't acknowledge anything.
The summer was approaching, we got into a fight over something (I Think I caught her again) - We separated for a month, she started crying and was working the whole month. - I went on a vacation with friends, where I cheated on her (Only kissing) and started approaching other girls. But while doing all this - My girlfriend never left my mind, I was extremely sad that I ended it with her.
I opened up her Instagram Account and saw on her story how she is on vacation with two good girls from her work and one baby (She was lonely by the looks of it and extremely sad)
I got back from the vacation and started working things out with her, I took her on a vaction, we had a bonding there, but something didn't feel right... She seemed sad.
I started gambling on crypto futures... I lost 20% of my networth... I got extremely mad.
We went back in our country and then I took her on another trip. I bought her everything she wanted, I took her everywhere she wanted, I did everything to please her. My focus at that time was entirely on her.
She wanted to go in the casino - we went. I lost money, but gave her, since she wanted to stack an amount for a nose operation.
(Not because the nose was broken or something, but because she wanted to look better)
Business started getting bad, my income vanished.....
I started trading more in order to get back to my previous amounts...
I lost it almost all.. I had 1 reserve fund which was locked and I waited a couple of months to take the funds out. She was there with me even when I lost.
She finished her operation.
I got the reserve fund. I started trading, I made half the amount back. She wanted me to buy her a car - I did. I bought a land as well, on which I wanted to start building our house.
After all that - I lost all my funds again...
She had been constantly in a fight with her parents and wanted to move out.
I had one small income left - with all the funds I had, I rented an apartment for 6 months.
During those 6 months - I focused on working, but was losing due to my gambling habbit.
She got a new job. She started going out with friends. Sexual intercourse decreased by a lot.
I told her that I don't like her going out till 6 AM in the morning. This just isn't right with me, so I got suspicious.
I hacked her laptop... she saw a notification and rushed to the house... I was able to see a lot of things, but it appears - she was deleting evidence, so I asked her to give her phone. - She gave it to me.
Unfortunately - I knew how to see deleted messages on an Iphone. I saw only one message, the content was:
'Don't message me anywhere again.'
I got filled with rage and we had a fight. She was fighting with me to get her phone back. I gave it and told her I want to end it.
As he was a famous greek singer - I was able to analyze when he had concerts and saw that on those dates - she had been visitng those concerts...
3 Days later - we talked and worked it out.... I was madly in love with her at this point. She told me that she arranges stages for him. (It's related to her new job)
My gambling habits were in full force. I lost a lot of money and couldn't afford a rent of a high-cost, so I told her - Let's move out to my mother's place and in the next 1 year I will make sure that I succeed again. (My mother isn't living inside the house, but my brother is)
She agreed roughly. So we moved and I started working, but unfortunately - The money I felt I was making was not enough, not nearly enough to buy an aparatament or build our house. She was acting kind, innocent.
I went out on a birthday party and my friend created a circumstance, where I would sleep with a girl next to me. I knew she really liked me and hooked up. We were going to have intercourse, but as I did anything - my girlfriend was on my mind and I couldn't bring myself to do anything other than kisses... I just couldn't.
She started going out with friends again. She was going nightclubbing with them, but assurred me - she was doing it for her own fun.
She was meanwhile stacking money to get a boob-job done. - She did it, made her boobs bigger. She assurred me that she was doing it for her own fun.
6 months have passed. - I stopped gambling, but she told me that she doesn't like my house, doesn't like that I'm living with my brother and she doesn't see a future with me.
She told me she would leave and go in her cousin's apartament, but he doesn't want me there.
I told her that I want to break up with her, because she doesn't want to be with me at my lowest point. I told her that she probably wants to leave the house to go out nightclubbing and find someone better than me. She felt offended (Or so It seemed), but I think that was the truth. She told me that she wants to have kids with me, she loves me, etc.
The next day: She goes out of city without telling me anything about her location. At night: she goes in a nightclub with her friends + other males.
I ask her in 2 AM - 'Where are you right now'? She comes in and out of 'Online' status. and at 4 AM I notice a follower increase on her Instagram, she follows him back - I send her a video and ask who the f is that? She responds 'What do you want', 'This is an old friend', 'Stop being envious'
I get extremely angry and stop responding. The next day I check the live photos of the nightclub and pray to god to give me a sign that I'm not delusional and exactly the next photo - She is on the same table, with the same guy, with her friends and other males. She told me she was sleeping.
1 Day passes - she starts messaging me and sending me photos with the quote 'Let's promise we will never leave each other and fix everything when things go wrong.' 2 Day passes - she starts messaging me, so I show her that I don't want to talk with her. 3 Day passes - no one messages. 4th day she messages me: "Are we breaking up?" and I told her "Do you think I want to be with someone, who constantly lies to me, goes out nightclubbing and adds some r*tards in Instagram?" She told me - "First of all - I'm not lying about anyhing" Then I ask her - "Why have you added this person in 4 AM in the morning"? She replies: "I have had him for some time now, he is an old friend" I told her that I monitor her followers and know if he is old or new" I told her that she looks like trash in my eyes at this point and she got angry She told me she isn't obligated to tell me anything and she hasn't added him in 4 AM, she will not be repeating her self.
I ask her: - Can you tell me where were you at that time (The night that this happened) ? She tells me: - Like every night - at home. I sent her a photo of the live nightclub photo where she is with him, her friends and other male friends. I tell her 'I hope this is gives you an answer for everything' 'My girlfriend died a long time ago' She starts sending laughing emojis and says: "It's good, right?" "You killed her more likely and made her what she is today" I tell her "It's possible" She responds "As you can see - he is with his girlfriend, DON'T THINK WRONG THINGS OF ME" I told her: "Don't explain yourself" "This was my last question." She is now telling: "This is a driver of... and some time ago my friend hooked up with him, this is from where I added him, I haven't added him now" I told her: "I don't think anything of you." She responds "The last two years you have not thought of me anyway" WHICH IS NOT TRUE. I tell her "I wish you all the best, I hope you find what you are looking for" She responds "Me too, be happy" I respond "I have only one question left" "When did my girl die?" She reponds "You can always contact me if you need any help" I respond: "Thank you, but I don't think of searching for contacting you anymore" She asks: "Which is your girl?" I respond "The good girl that loved me and was always with me or was this just a product of my imagination? Be honest" She said: "Whatever you feel like" I respond "Okay, good night" Then I forward the message "You can always contact me for help" and I say: "I really loved you and will miss you" She reponds: "I will never stop loving you. There is no way to stop loving a person with which you have been in a releationship for 6 years" "Good night, I will not upset myself anymore" I ask her "Why would you do this to me?" She ask "What did I do to you?" I told her "It's pointless to say, I have a lot more information that on the photo" She says "We were in this town for a doctor checkup, after that we went to a nightclub and accidentially met them (The person and his male friends)" I ask her "Will you stop with the lying?" She says "I'm telling you" I respond "Good night"
Now my question is:
I'm a sucker for her love. Maybe I'm just in love with the old her. I have never loved any girl as much as I love her. I feel absolutely terrible. Maybe part of this was my fault. Maybe it was my fault that she became like this..
What do I do from here? I don't think I will ever love a person this way.. I wanted her to carry my children and raise a family with her.

Warning: This is extremely long
I am writing this because I need to make it known my love for this girl. And there needs to be something in the world that shows my love. All the hours of sleep I have lost for this girl, who I will call Eve, were for naught and I need there to be something tangible of what we had. This is my story of her.
I first met Eve at a volunteer event for an see organization we both went to, 4 days of 5 hours of volunteering. I thought she was beautiful and I wanted to ask her out. As we were leaving on the very last day I asked. I told her I enjoyed talking to her and thought she was cool, I asked if she would want to hang out sometime. I was elated. I thought she had given me her number romantically. I was so happy that day, I had never felt such joy. I was potentially going to be in a relationship with this amazing and beautiful woman. I texted her that night, and we talked some. The next day I asked her on a date, if she wanted to go to a local aquarium with me. She told me that she had a boyfriend. My soul was crushed, I felt myself die a bit. I physically felt my joy leave, everything was gray again. I had fallen in love with her over the simple act of her giving me her phone number. I have longed for female connection and affection for so long that even a slight show of something that could be considered as romance made me adore her. And that shows how fucked up I am. I made some more small talk, nothing much. I tried to play it off as “oh yea that’s cool”, perhaps I could salvage a friendship for now, and wait until she did not have a boyfriend. I asked her if she wanted to do paintball for my Birthday, she couldn’t because her sister got injured as a kid from it. For the next 3 months I mourned. I was sad, I had fallen in love with this beautiful girl, but could not even attempt to be with her. Then in November I saw her at another event, I was so scared. I was too afraid to make contact with her. I saw her and was terrified, of scorn, of disgust. I was embarrassed. She walked past me once and I said hi, as a friend, but no response, perhaps she did not hear me. I avoided her for the next few hours. Eventually during a raffle at the end we made eye contact. It was very brief, barely a second. I looked away so fast. She was so breathtaking. Now I knew that she knew I was there, and she knew I knew she was there. I went home without any more contact. The next months were the same, sadness. Mourning the relationship I (thought I) almost had. Every day I thought about her. Every single day. Not 3 hours could pass without her crossing my mind. At night I would look at her on Instagram. Look at her pictures, it was nothing creepy, I just admired her beauty and longed for her. I saw her boyfriend, he was ugly and fat. I do not mean to be rude or hate, but she could do better. I am ugly, but I take care of myself, I was jealous of him. One day she posted her Junior prom pics with him, she was so beautiful. One day when I went to admire her pictures, I noticed something. She had taken his name from her bio, and deleted all her posts. They had broken up. I was elated, perhaps I had a chance. I needed to see her again, establish connection. I went to an event where she was going, I saw her, I tried to find a chance to say hello but we were all so busy and split into different groups, I didn’t get a chance. As the event ended it was late. It was dark and in a not desirable area of town, Eve was leaving and my mom was going to accompany her to her car and called me over to accompany her. I walked out and was with them, Eve was so beautiful, her smile made me melt inside. We made some small talk between the three of us as we walked for a minute or two, and then she got in her car and left. I was angry at myself and my situation, I should have talked to her more, put myself out there. I was beating myself up for it the rest of my time there and the ride home. But when I got home I was overjoyed, while I drove Eve had texted me. She said it was nice to see me at an event again, with a smiley face. We talked for a bit, texting back and forth. I was so happy to be talking to her again, and SHE initiated it. Mind you this is on the 8th of February. For the next week or so we texted, not a ton. She was busy, however I have noticed she uses that as an excuse to not reply, more on that later. Come Valentine’s Day it was nearing Junior Prom at my school, I had dreams of bringing her to it. I was hoping to try and do something in person with her and some friends over the weekend, where I could ask in person. However, on Valentine’s Day she posted on her Instagram story a gift she had received from a secret admirer. I was scared I would lose my opportunity, now I had competition. This rushed me. I called her that evening, I told her I wanted to ask in person but saw her story and felt rushed, i asked if she wanted to go to our Junior prom with me. She said that she wasn’t sure, and wanted a few days to get back to me. A few days later she responded, she could not go. She said that she was talking to someone else pretty seriously and didn’t want to go for that reason. I accepted this with grace, I respect her decision. Exactly one month later I ran into her at an event. We talked a bit, we worked by each other this time. She mentioned when we talked with some others as a group that she was going on a spring break trip to California. After the event ended and we had gone home I texted her later that evening. I said it was nice seeing her, and I hoped she enjoyed her break. She responded, I was scared she wouldn’t. Throughout all of this I have held an underlying belief she is weirded out by me, or wants me to screw off, I had asked her out twice, maybe I am just a creep to her. But she did respond. We talked for the next few days, she still took a long time to respond, over 12 hours usually. I get you’re busy, but let’s be honest, everyone checks their phone in that time. On the morning of break when my family was driving off for ours I got a text from her. She sent me sunrise pics from her trip she was on, and said she would send some more. We texted back and forth a bit then, and she said I should send her pics of my trip. I was so happy, she had sent me pictures and asked I send some. While they weren’t pictures of HER, they were still beautiful sunrise pics, and SHE sent them to me first. Over the course of spring break we talked, there was a large time difference so most of it was sending picture, asking or telling something, and responding to previous texts. But one day we were both sat down and we texted back and forth for a straight hour. She was giving me her time and attention, I felt as if she enjoyed talking to me. When break ended however it changed. She took more and more time to respond, hours to days. She said she was busy, but I knew the truth, you can check your phone over the course of 2-3 days and respond. I felt hurt and confused. She has given me so much time and we had talked so much over break but now I was being ghosted. I couldn’t take it anymore. I wrote her a long text, telling her how I felt about her and what we had going on. How she was the most beautiful woman in the world and how I love talking to her, and also how I was getting mixed signals for her. She responded and told me that at first she was texting for friendliness but began to like me as we talked, she said she would text me before her friends and that must mean something subconsciously. She was flattered and admired my persistence in asking her out, now she was open to going out with me to test the waters. I was overjoyed. However I am moving overseas, about 3 months from when this happened, and I told her that. Very unfortunate that when I get my chance it is cut short. We talked more, and planned a date. She never did tell me why she didn’t respond. It was wonderful, we talked a lot. Of course it was awkward at times, but it got better as it went. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She was breathtaking, she had makeup on, but she looks even prettier without it. We talked about all sorts of things, and it all made me like her more. Same passion we wanted to go to college for, both love animals, both believe the same stuff. When the date ended, we went our separate ways. That has since been the last time I have seen her. When I got home she texted me she had a good time, I was so incredibly happy to see that. I hadn’t weirded her out, she hadn’t found me too unattractive to date. One day I posted a pic of me after winning a sports championship along with some others of my team on my story. I have never posted a pic of myself because I am self conscious, this was the first. She viewed my stories, and the only one she gave a like was of me. That made me feel so special, she liked the picture of ME. I was happy, we were still texting, she still took a while to reply, usually a day, but I was happy because I was going on dates with her. During the midst of planning a second, she stopped replying for a few days. When I was touring a college I got the message. She had felt nothing romantic on our date, only platonic. She enjoyed it she said, but felt no feelings for me. She wanted to go out again to solidify these feelings, and give me another chance but because I was moving she didn’t want to potentially start a relationship we would end in 2 months. She said she didn’t want to lead me on. I was heartbroken. I love her. This was the final nail in the coffin, it was over. We would not work out. I replied to her, said thank you for the honesty and wished her luck with life. I have been left on read. I don’t expect anything else, but a reply, a thank you for understanding, anything would be nice. I don’t want it to end. Any connection I can have with her I wanted. I don’t understand, I thought she liked me? While she did say she thought she had feelings, I understand that she may have changed how she felt after going out, but why would she do what she did? Why would she tell me she had a good time it she didn’t think it would work? I feel as if that just got my hopes up. It put me under the impression she liked me too. And why would she like my picture if she did not LIKE me? I am confused m, and I am sad. My situationship with her is done, and any contact is as well. I miss her, I want to be with her. I don’t understand what to do now. For the past year she has been my purpose. I have improved myself for her, cried for her, tried at life for her. Now I have nothing, no purpose. How can I go on when I have no purpose. She was my driving factor for all I did. I am empty now. I write this because I need people to know. I cannot let all I felt for her go unknown. I need to express my love for her somehow, it must be known, it not to her then to you all. I can not let all we had, even if it was really nothing for her and to outside perspective, it was so much to me. And a message I leave for her, if by some miracle she stumbled upon this and recognizes these events. Eve, I love you. I know that it is not reciprocated. I am sorry for loving you, when we together had so little. You are the most beautiful girl in the world, your heart is pure and your mind is sharp. Although I can not be with you I hold no hard feelings. I am not angry, because your feelings are valid, even if they are not what I wish you felt. I hope whatever happens to you in life you excel. I hope you find someone you love that loves you like I do. I will never forget you. Thank you for the chance you gave me, and your honesty and clear communication. Goodbye.

Hey everyone, I know a lot of us in here have some anxiety about being ghosted so hopefully my story brings you all some satisfaction. I started dating this guy in October 2023 after getting out of a long term relationship. The first time we saw eachother we hit it off. After that, we saw eachother everyday for 2 weeks straight. Things were going good, he bought me roses & we went on dates, I enjoyed his company. fast forward we start getting into small misunderstandings. during our first little argument he ghosted me for two day, the argument also resulted because of his lack of communication. I ended up reaching out to him. After that we were okay for a while. Then we got into another small argument, he does the same thing… disappear. Now I also want to emphasize that these argument were so small, there’s no doubt in my mind that someone who is actually interested in you would try to work it out. but he disappears each and every time. he ended up breaking it off & I respected his wishes. 5 days after he broke it off he sends me a random video on Instagram, I ask him if he sent it by accident & he said no. I laughed at it and that was that. A couple days later he sends another video on Instagram, then he tells me he didn’t want to cut communication he was looking at it as “an extended period of cooling off”. Which was very weird to me because in the message he sent when he broke it off he stated “I think it’d be best if I just leave you alone because us talking is causing more harm than good” very dramatic, but I respected it nonetheless. So at this point I felt like he was trying to bullshit me & I expressed that to him respecfully. while I was happy inside that he reached out to me I was also insulted because I felt like he was playing with my feelings. I did really like him. after I expressed how I felt to him he said “alright” then that was it. didn’t hear from him for 2 months. during these two months I did think about him & I did wish things went differently. My birthday passed & he reached out to me a couple days after my birthday, I decided to give him another chance & we started dating again. we went on dates, he got me flowers. same shit he was doing before. It was going good and because we were already familiar with eachother there was already a sense of comfortability between us. I was actually happy to be in his presence again. I also did tell him that I don’t like the fact that he disappears whenever there’s a conflict. I tried to communicate openly. Things were going well, we talked on the phone, fell asleep on the phone most nights, & we were seeing eachother fairly enough. Then I started noticing little things. he was a bit intensive whenever I would tell him about conflicts going on in my life. He’d say things like “it’s not that serious” which I felt invalidated my feelings. he would take 3 hours to respond to my text message but would be posting constantly. I brushed this off at first because a lot of the times he is at work. Then it started happening a lot more frequently. One night I called him and he didn’t answer. he texted me and told me he just got out of the shower, I expected a call back. nothing, he also posts a story on IG but doesn’t respond to my text, at this point I was kinda getting the gist that he probably was losing interest. It sorta started feeling like I was playing hard to get rid of. I brought it up to him and then I said nevermind because I thought of how he’d disappear everytime there’s a conflict and I didn’t feel like going through that again. needless to say, he sends a paragraph & we go back & fourth for a bit. In one of his paragraphs he threw something in my face that I told him about when I was being vulnerable. I then end the argument and I take accountability for if I may have come off wrong and I also apologize. I then voice to him that I am a woman with feelings and the way he acts sometimes is a bit off putting. he never responds. for two weeks lol. (I literally should’ve saw it coming.) but here is the part where you all may get a bit of satisfaction. He hits me up on Instagram using the SAME tactic as before… after TWO WEEKS I left him on read. he’s still on read till the day. This happened a week ago. I feel like it’s so disrespectful when you put time into someone and you genuinely like them and they have no regard for you, your time, nor your effort. he has a lot of growing up to do & I will not be apart of that experience with him. I’m a genuine, loving person, & I won’t let people take advantage of me anymore. it’s hard & I do think about him at times. but he no longer lives rent free in my head. he is a very prideful person, so I know he’s mad at the fact that he didn’t get the chance to do the rejecting this time around.
Im sorry everyone this is long AS SHIT. I wanted to put in alot of detail. My bad if there’s typos

As far as I can remember I always felt bad sad disappointed whenever my birthday is near. I don’t why but I never had any good feelings. I always feel like something bad is going to happen. My birthday usually come during summer holidays so I didn’t really celebrated it or remember anyone wishing me.
Now that my birthday is nearing I can’t stop feeling sad and anxious all the time. How can I get rid of this? I am not expecting to celebrate or anything. I just want to forget my birthday and see it just as any other day.

I'm sorry for posting this but I haven't been able to talk about what's really happening the last 12 months because no one cares to listen to people like me. I just really need to write this down so it isn't just inside me forever, I'm not expecting any replies or help, I just want someone to know my story because i dont know when or how it will end. (also i wrote this at 11pm after not sleeping for 3 days, so theres a chance none of this makes sense)
I am 14, turning 15 in a few months.
I have been dealing with severe depression(?) for around 4 years now, but the issues started way before that. there is something seriously wrong with me, and i am not blaming anyone but myself. I'm diagnosed with adhd, severe social & general anxiety disorder, autism, and ptsd. I have an abundance of issues cleaning and taking care of myself which i am extremely embarrassed about.
I attempted to truly end my life first when i was 10 via od on a prescription. the second time i was 11, i tied a ribbon very tightly around my neck, and fell asleep crying from both sadness and relief. i remember waking up, and it was like my body automatically started desperately searching for anything sharp to get it off my neck. i had a red spot on the side for a while after that, i covered it with a fake tattoo so my mom wouldn't have to worry about my older brother as well as me.
I resorted to online learning for middle school after bullying and sexual harassment, plus issues with the school that lead to cps being called. skip forward to now, my only friends are online, and they make fun of me for being autistic, and say they forget im a real person regularly. I understand, i dont expect them to care that much about someone theyve never spoken to in person before, i just wish i could be someones first choice.
december last year i started smoking weed, and that made me forget about how much i wanted to die. unfortunately, that got me addicted immediately. i couldn't bare being sober, if i wasnt high off my mind i was sobbing and shaking. eventually my mom found out, and I (mostly) stopped. unfortunately, the inevitable happened. i started stealing liquor, drank almost a whole bottle of tequila by myself within ~6 days. mom found out about that too, and stopped buying alcohol as well as starting to lock up the medication in the house. this was the beginning of the end. i hate myself for what i did. my mom did everything right, i, however, did everything wrong. i started abusing gabapentin, which quickly lost its magic. i told myself i was never going to touch stimulants or amphetamines, but of course i did. I was desperate to feel something that i started abusing my adhd meds. i hate them, i cant eat or sleep on them, but they make me focus on something that isnt my thoughts.
I've done everything i wanted to do before i go. today was my friends 16th birthday, yesterday was mothers day, and a few days before that was my one year on HRT. (not getting into that right now lol) i didnt think id make it to 13, I truly dont know why I'm still here. I can't remember a day i havent wanted to just leave and be free from emotion and people. I'll probably delete this when i see it in the morning, but i desperately needed to get this off my chest. I had potential, I was smart and kind and bright, and then the people around me grew up, while i was still waiting for my turn.
Maybe if I was born into a different family i could've been a psychologist like ive always wanted to. In another lifetime.

So yesterday saw my 10th result bohot bura laga mere dada ji ka bday tha unhe pata chala ki result aya kyuki mere ek cousin Jo same 10th mai hai usne pehle hi apna result bata diya tha usse 96% aye aur muje 75-85 ke bhecch mai aye offcourse real percentage nhi reveal kar rha kyuki mere dost bhi follow karte Mera acc coming back mere dada ji ka phone ya papa ne phone handover kiya and I was literally shaking bohot bura lag rha phele mene happy birthday wish Kiya fir unhe result bataya aur unhone acha mene toh bola tuje acha hi yega aur mai rone lag gaya unhone pata chala ki mai roo rha tha toh muje samajha rhe thi ki kitne aye isse koi farak nhi padta and all but mai aur baat hi nhi kar paya fir mere bua (woh cousin ke mom ka) phone aya mene ekdam dhere awaz mai result bataya aur fir emotional hogya unhone ne bhi bola acha hai roo mat mere mai aur baat karne ki himaat hi nhi I feel like my parents don't deserve me baki sare dost 90+ la rhe hai aur sabke mumi status wagera laga rhi i feel bad and ashamed ki mene apne parents ko kitna disappoint kardiya mere mumi bohot sad thi but papa bole tikhe hai jo huya so huya ab agee pe dhyan de but kya karu kush samajh nhi a rha hamesha woh result yaad a rha hai raat mai soh nhi pa rha ekdam ese daar sa gaya hu sab dost maza kar rhe aur muje breakdown ho rha hai panick attacks a rhe....... I know I will do better sabko disappoint kardiya tution wali ma'am ko mumi papa ko family ko 🥲

Venue: Bon Secours Wellness Arena (Greenville, SC)
Attendance: ~8,400

Winner	Loser	Match Finish	Stipulation
Iyo Sky	Shayna Bazler	Over the Moonsault	Queen of the Ring Quarterfinal
GUNTHER	Kofi Kingston	Boston Crab	King of the Ring Quarterfinal
Bronson Reed	Akira Tozawa w/ Chad Gable	Tsunami
Lyra Valkyria	Zoey Stark	Nightwing	Queen of the Ring Quarterfinal
Sami Zayn	Otis w/ Chad Gable	Helluva Kick
Becky Lynch	Dakota Kai w/ Damage CTRL	DQ when Iyo and Kairi attack Becky
The Judgement Day w/ Carlito	The Creed Brothers, AOP, and New Catch Republic	Coup de Grace	#1 Contender for the World Tag Team Championships
Jey Uso	Ilja Dragunov	Uso Splash	King of the Ring Quarterfinal

IMPORTANT NOTES

• Kickoff with Drew McIntyre storming backstage and making his way out to the ring where the crowd instantly starts chanting for CM Punk. Drew says Punk only makes the big towns and he won't be showing up in Greenville brothers. Drew says the greatest trick Punk ever pulled was looking like a drug addict despite never taking any, and his other greatest trick was him convincing people to keep taking him back after he keeps breaking their hearts and yet they still buy all the crap he spews out and calls CM Punk fans stupid. Drew says last week Punk only called him a coward after he knew that he left, yet when he was on the stage Punk stayed up in a skybox. Drew says he won't keep wasting his time on someone who won't be cleared for 20 years, and speaking of things that'll never happen Jey Uso lost another title match and now he took his spot in the King of the Ring tournament. Drew calls Damian Priest a paper champion which causes the World Heavyweight Champion to make his way to the ring. Priest tells Drew he's got some serious issues and tells Drew maybe he should do something different tonight and say what he wants to say to someone's face. Drew says he'd love to but Punk keeps running away from him, but since Priest is here he'll say something positive and says that Damian put all the work in and made it here, but he isn't World Champion material. Drew says it is a case of the title making the man and right now that title is in its infancy and it needs someone like him to elevate it, not someone who cashed in on him. Damian says Drew knows what came with this life but Drew says he's a BS champion, but Priest says he's still a champion. Priest tells Drew to find a mirror and blame that asshole for all his faults. He wanted to cash in on Seth Rollins but Drew stopped that from happening multiple times and that's on him, at Wrestlemania all he had to do was leave with his wife, but instead he saw Punk and made him more important than himself, the title, and his wife, all after he got his ass kicked by a one armed man. Priest says once Drew is cleared he'll get a shot at the World Title, but warns Drew after he beats him he'll be eating his words and everyone can rise to that.
  
• Iyo Sky is interviewed after her victory, she rips the mic away and speaks in Japanese and motions to herself being crowned Queen of the Ring.
  
• Priest walks into the Judgement Day locker room and Dom tells him that despite their history Priest should work together with Carlito. Carlito says they all agree Rey is a selfish bastard and they could all benefit from this relationship. Priest says if the boys want to work with him it's on them, but he doesn't want him around. Carlito get he doesn't trust him, but even the most stubborn minds could be changed.
  
• Chad Gable is talking to the Alpha Academy, he tells Maxxine she blew her opportunity at Queen of the Ring and embarrassed the Academy. He tells Otis and Tozawa that he has jobs for them, Otis is going to soften up Sami Zayn and tells him to not do any funny business, he needs serious Otis and tells Tozawa not to blow his opportunity against Bronson Reed. Gable and the rest walk off as Maxxine stays behind, Ivy asks Max why she didn't tell her about the Queen of the Ring opportunity and says they could have trained together. Maxxine explains that Gable doesn't want her training outside of the Academy when Gable storms back in and tells Max to stop standing around and get to training. He tells Ivy she has potential and she shouldn't be wasting it on Taylor "Not so" Swift over here.
  
• Kofi Kingston is interviewed before his match with GUNTHER. Kofi says he's familiar with doing the unthinkable but tonight is about payback for what GUNTHER did to his boy Xavier Woods. Kofi says last night he went toe to toe with the greatest luchador of all time and he's not just winning this tournament for himself, he's doing this for Woods. Woods says because of GUNTHER he can't defend his crown, but he can think of no one better than Kofi to become king.
  
• Lillian Garcia returns to do the ring announcements for Kofi vs GUNTHER! She tells Samantha Irvin that she's doing an incredible job and she is making them all proud.
  
• R-Truth is talking to Adam Pearce and says he thinks he has a great idea for their tag titles. Miz walks in and says Truth better not putting their titles on the line again when Pearce explains that he is giving the Raw tag division and opportunity to become number one contenders tonight. Kiana James enters the office and tells Pearce she was thankful for their meeting over the phone last week but is looking forward to showing him why she is the top 1% and show off how well she can adjudicate. Truth questions if you should really do that at the workplace and asks if that's PG.
  
• Lyra Valkyria is interviewed, she says Damage CTRL better get used to seeing her and says she'll always have Becky's back. Becky comes by and thanks Lyra for the help last week and says they gotta stick together before walking off. Liv Morgan comes up and welcomes Lyra to Raw, but asks her if Becky has always been such a bitch but Lyra tells her to asks her herself and Liv turns to find Becky standing behind her. Becky punches Liv and tells her she isn't the one afraid of a face to face fight, bitch.
  
• Backstage Karrion Kross tells Kofi it was a tough loss, but there is always time to turn things around and walks off. Woods gives Kofi some ice and asks what he wanted but Kofi says he doesn't know.
  
• Ludwig Kaiser chastises an interviewer for trying to interview GUNTHER after his match. She says that she wanted to ask about GUNTHER's history with the other competitors in this tournament since Ilja beat him the last time they faced off, and the last time he faced Jey Uso he won due to Imperium, the same way he beat Sheamus last week. Ludwig says that Sheamus has done a lot in his career and Sheamus should be thanking him for what he did last week and should be standing beside him but instead it is up to him to embarrass Sheamus now.
  
• Adam Pearce is interviewed but before he can make his announcement about the World Tag Team Championships, the New Catch Republic walk in and Tyler Bate thanks Adam for the opportunity and Pearce says he is sanctioning a fatal four way to determine the number 1 contenders for the World Tag Team Championships. Adam is asked why he didn't allow Bron Breakker into the King of the Ring tournament and he explains he didn't want to throw Bron into the deep end but Bron walks in and say anyone he faced in that tournament would be in the deep end with him and he'd drown them all.
  
• Lyra Valkyria is interviewed after her victory, she says she's a former NXT Women's Champion and she travels as the crow flies, straight to the top and speaks something in Irish.
  
• Backstage Jey Uso says Drew McIntyre couldn't cut it so they threw your boy into the King of the Ring and promises to give a yeet down to both Ilja and GUNTHER on his path to becoming King.
  
• Chad Gable berates Otis in the ring following his loss and shoves him which casues Sami to rush back into the ring and attacks Chad and sets up for the Helluva Kick but Gable ducks out of the ring. Otis picks him up and apologizes but Chad slaps him and walks to the back.
  
• Backstage JD McDonough warns Braun Strowman to keep out of Judgement Day business, Braun laughs him off to the Creed Brothers and wishes them luck tonight.
  
• Following Becky's match, Lyra Valkyria runs in to make the save, throwing out Dakota and Kairi before squaring off with Iyo as Becky takes her out. Lyra and Becky stand tall until Liv ambushes Becky from behind.
  
• Ilja Dragunov is interviewed backstage, he says that some people think it is their dream or destiny to be here, but for him it is not enough to just be here and it all starts with him being the Czar of the Ring. He says he'll bring the same kind of fight to Jey Uso tonight, he knows Jey is ready for battle but he is standing across the ring from a different kind of animal, he is a mad dragon and he has beaten GUNTHER! GUNTHER appears behind Ilja and stares him down as Ilja breathes heavily.
  
• Ilja is preparing for his match when a suit-clad Ricochet enters and tells him he earned his respect last week but next time the result won't be the same before wishing him luck in getting the crown.
  
• Backstage Damian asks Dom if he's good with Rhea when Finn, JD, and Carlito storm in celebrating their victory. Priest tells Carlito what happened out there was cool but asks Carlito if he's going to handle his business with Rey because the crew doesn't roll with cowards.
  

SHAMELESS PLUGS

• Live Thread
  
• New to /SquaredCircle? Check out the Wiki!
  
• Check out our Squared Circle twitter account for all sorts of AMA announcements and interaction!
  
• Curious about how the /SquaredCircle Championship and Jobber Championship works? Check out the rules!
  
• Be sure to follow @WWE on Twitter and Like WWE on Facebook! You can download the official WWE App on iTunes so Michael Cole shuts up about it!
  
• Like other wrestling promotions? Perhaps you're looking for other subreddits related to wrestling? There's a sub for that! Check out /TheDirtsheets, /luchaunderground, /njpw /TNA, /ROH, /indiewrestling, /Wrasslin and more!
  

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac dates
10 things about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac traits
cancer zodiac personality
cancer zodiac symbol
cancer zodiac month
cancer zodiac tattoo
cancer zodiac characteristics
cancer zodiac facts
cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac animal
cancer zodiac and capricorn
cancer zodiac art
cancer zodiac aesthetic
cancer zodiac air sign
cancer zodiac astrology
cancer zodiac attributes
cancer zodiac and scorpio
cancer zodiac and aries
cancer zodiac and aquarius
about cancer zodiac sign
all about cancer zodiac
are cancer zodiac dangerous
about cancer zodiac sign girl
age of cancer zodiac
attributes of cancer zodiac sign
after cancer zodiac
animal for cancer zodiac sign
anime characters cancer zodiac
aries and cancer zodiac sign compatibility
cancer zodiac birthday
cancer zodiac bad traits
cancer zodiac birthstone
cancer zodiac best match
cancer zodiac birth dates
cancer zodiac body part
cancer zodiac background
cancer zodiac bracelet
cancer zodiac best friends
cancer zodiac baby girl
best crystals for cancer zodiac
bad things about cancer zodiac
boy cancer zodiac
best match for cancer zodiac
birthday wishes for cancer zodiac
best color for cancer zodiac
best job for cancer zodiac
best stone for cancer zodiac
birthstone for cancer zodiac
bracelet for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac compatibility
cancer zodiac color
cancer zodiac celebrities
cancer zodiac constellation
cancer zodiac crystals
cancer zodiac color palette
cancer zodiac characteristics female
cancer zodiac compatibility chart
cancer zodiac chinese
cancer zodiac sign dates
cancer zodiac dates range
cancer zodiac description
cancer zodiac days
cancer zodiac demon
cancer zodiac drawing
cancer zodiac daily
cancer zodiac dates 2024
cancer zodiac dogs
cancer zodiac dark side
definition of cancer zodiac sign
dates for cancer zodiac sign
dark side of cancer zodiac signs
dragon cancer zodiac
different types of cancer zodiac
demon cancer zodiac
does cancer zodiac have anger issues
description of cancer zodiac sign
double cancer zodiac
diamond for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac element
cancer zodiac emoji
cancer zodiac enemies
cancer zodiac explained
cancer zodiac earrings
cancer zodiac energy
cancer zodiac ear piercing
cancer zodiac eyes
cancer zodiac español
cancer zodiac emotionally manipulative
everything about cancer zodiac
evolved cancer zodiac
element of cancer zodiac
evil cancer zodiac
enemy of cancer zodiac
emerald for cancer zodiac
easy cancer zodiac drawing
emotional cancer zodiac
explain cancer zodiac sign
everything you need to know about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac flower
cancer zodiac flower tattoo
cancer zodiac for today
cancer zodiac female
cancer zodiac favorite color
cancer zodiac famous people
cancer zodiac fire sign
cancer zodiac friends
cancer zodiac facts male
facts about cancer zodiac sign
facts about cancer zodiac woman
fun facts about cancer zodiac
famous cancer zodiac
flower for cancer zodiac
facts about cancer zodiac man
features of cancer zodiac sign
female cancer zodiac sign
friends of cancer zodiac
funny cancer zodiac quotes
cancer zodiac girl
cancer zodiac gemstone
cancer zodiac greek god
cancer zodiac god
cancer zodiac goddess
cancer zodiac gif
cancer zodiac gem
cancer zodiac good and bad traits
cancer zodiac good in bed
cancer zodiac gifts
good things about cancer zodiac
geek bar cancer zodiac flavor
gemstone for cancer zodiac
girl cancer zodiac
gifts for cancer zodiac man
gifts for cancer zodiac woman
gemstone for cancer zodiac sign
girly cancer zodiac tattoo
god of cancer zodiac
gem for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac horoscope today
cancer zodiac horoscope
cancer zodiac health problems
cancer zodiac horoscope 2024
cancer zodiac history
cancer zodiac house
cancer zodiac hand tattoo
cancer zodiac hair color
cancer zodiac hoodie
cancer zodiac humor
how rare is cancer zodiac sign
happy birthday cancer zodiac
how is cancer zodiac sign
how dangerous is cancer zodiac
how to be friends with a cancer zodiac
how will cancer zodiac die
how to deal with cancer zodiac sign
healing crystals for cancer zodiac
habits of cancer zodiac
herbs for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac in hindi
cancer zodiac in chinese
cancer zodiac images
cancer zodiac in telugu
cancer zodiac info
cancer zodiac in spanish
cancer zodiac is what month
cancer zodiac in relationships
cancer zodiac information
cancer zodiac in 2024
is cancer zodiac dangerous
interesting facts about cancer zodiac
is cancer zodiac rare
information about cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac rich or poor
instagram bio for cancer zodiac
images of cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac sign lucky
indian celebrities with cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac a water sign
cancer zodiac jewelry
cancer zodiac jobs
cancer zodiac july
cancer zodiac june
cancer zodiac january 2024
cancer zodiac june 21
cancer zodiac japanese
cancer zodiac july 22
cancer zodiac june 27
cancer zodiac july 16
july cancer zodiac
jobs for cancer zodiac
june cancer zodiac sign
july cancer zodiac traits
jewelry for cancer zodiac
june cancer zodiac personality
june cancer zodiac traits
june vs july cancer zodiac
july birthday cancer zodiac
jade for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac kids
cancer zodiac keywords
cancer zodiac keychain
cancer zodiac kpop idols
cancer zodiac killers
cancer zodiac karma
cancer zodiac know for
cancer zodiac keyboard symbol
cancer zodiac child
cancer zodiac knight
kpop idols cancer zodiac
kpop idols who have cancer zodiac sign
korean actors cancer zodiac
korean celebrities with cancer zodiac sign
katangian ng cancer zodiac
karaang napta cancer zodiac sign
karma cancer zodiac
what kind of person is cancer zodiac sign
things to know about cancer zodiac
everything to know about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac lucky numbers
cancer zodiac love
cancer zodiac logo
cancer zodiac love language
cancer zodiac lucky colors
cancer zodiac love compatibility
cancer zodiac libra
cancer zodiac lips
cancer zodiac least compatibility
cancer zodiac leo
lucky stone for cancer zodiac sign
logo cancer zodiac
leo and cancer zodiac sign
lucky color for cancer zodiac
lucky wallpaper for cancer zodiac
lucky number for cancer zodiac sign
lunar eclipse effect on cancer zodiac
libra and cancer zodiac sign compatibility
last day of cancer zodiac
love life of cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac meaning
cancer zodiac men
cancer zodiac memes
cancer zodiac match
cancer zodiac month dates
cancer zodiac moon sign
cancer zodiac moon
cancer zodiac meaning male
cancer zodiac meaning female
meaning of cancer zodiac sign
male cancer zodiac
meaningful cancer zodiac tattoo
more about cancer zodiac sign
month of cancer zodiac sign
moonstone for cancer zodiac
month of cancer zodiac
male cancer zodiac tattoo
match for cancer zodiac
mlbb cancer zodiac skin
cancer zodiac necklace
cancer zodiac negative traits
cancer zodiac number
cancer zodiac names
cancer zodiac nails
cancer zodiac nail designs
cancer zodiac nicknames
cancer zodiac necklace gold
cancer zodiac neck tattoo
cancer zodiac necklace silver
nicknames for cancer zodiac
names for cancer zodiac girl
nature of cancer zodiac sign
names for cancer zodiac boy
negatives of cancer zodiac
nature of cancer zodiac
number for cancer zodiac
nba players cancer zodiac
names related to cancer zodiac
next to cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac outfits
cancer zodiac origin
cancer zodiac opposite
cancer zodiac opposite sign
cancer zodiac overview
cancer zodiac of the day
cancer zodiac oc
cancer zodiac origin story
cancer zodiac occupations
cancer zodiac other names
opposite of cancer zodiac
one word to describe cancer zodiac
other names for cancer zodiac
outfits for cancer zodiac sign
opal for cancer zodiac
one piece cancer zodiac
october cancer zodiac
onyx for cancer zodiac
another word for cancer zodiac
ox cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac personality traits
cancer zodiac planet
cancer zodiac personality female
cancer zodiac personality male
cancer zodiac pictures
cancer zodiac powers
cancer zodiac pros and cons
cancer zodiac pendant
cancer zodiac power color
personality of cancer zodiac sign
picture of cancer zodiac sign
pros and cons of cancer zodiac
pictures of cancer zodiac sign girl
planet for cancer zodiac
pisces and cancer zodiac sign
power of cancer zodiac sign
pearl for cancer zodiac
peacock cancer zodiac
perfect match for cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac quotes
cancer zodiac qualities
cancer zodiac quotes funny
cancer zodiac quiz
cancer zodiac questions
cancer zodiac quote of the day
cancer zodiac quiet
cancer zodiac quiz buzzfeed
cancer zodiac quora
cancer zodiac queen
qualities of cancer zodiac sign
qualities of a cancer zodiac
quotes about cancer zodiac
questions to ask a cancer zodiac
quotes for cancer zodiac sign
quiet cancer zodiac
questions for cancer zodiac
questions to ask a cancer zodiac sign
quiz for cancer zodiac
quora cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac reading
cancer zodiac red flags
cancer zodiac reading today
cancer zodiac ruling planet
cancer zodiac rising sign
cancer zodiac relationship
cancer zodiac reddit
cancer zodiac ring
cancer zodiac range
cancer zodiac rappers
ring for cancer zodiac
ruby for cancer zodiac
rabbit cancer zodiac
red flag cancer zodiac
rappers that are cancer zodiac sign
real cancer zodiac facts
rat cancer zodiac
ruling planet of cancer zodiac sign
random facts about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac sign traits
cancer zodiac sign meaning
cancer zodiac sign month
cancer zodiac stone
cancer zodiac soulmate
cancer zodiac sign compatibility
cancer zodiac sign tattoo
sign of cancer zodiac
stones for cancer zodiac
symbol for cancer zodiac
stone for cancer zodiac sign
symbol of cancer zodiac sign
scary facts about cancer zodiac
serial killers with cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac tattoo ideas
cancer zodiac today
cancer zodiac tattoos for females
cancer zodiac traits female
cancer zodiac traits male
cancer zodiac tattoos for guys
cancer zodiac tarot card
cancer zodiac type
traits of cancer zodiac
things about cancer zodiac sign
tattoo cancer zodiac
types of cancer zodiac
tattoo ideas for cancer zodiac
the meaning of cancer zodiac sign
tattoo cancer zodiac sign
today cancer zodiac
today cancer zodiac sign
today's cancer zodiac horoscope
cancer zodiac urban dictionary
cancer zodiac usernames
cancer zodiac upset
cancer zodiac usa today
cancer zodiac usernames for instagram
cancer zodiac unlucky numbers
cancer zodiac unlucky color
cancer zodiac urdu
cancer zodiac unique facts
cancer zodiac unlucky
unique cancer zodiac tattoos
unique cancer zodiac tattoos for females
ugali ng cancer zodiac sign
understanding cancer zodiac
username for cancer zodiac
urban dictionary cancer zodiac sign
unhealthy cancer zodiac
usa today cancer zodiac
unknown facts about cancer zodiac
unlucky colour for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac virgo
cancer zodiac vape
cancer zodiac vibes
cancer zodiac videos
cancer zodiac vs scorpio
cancer zodiac vs leo
cancer zodiac venus
cancer zodiac vector
cancer zodiac vs gemini
cancer zodiac vindictive
virgo and cancer zodiac sign
vans cancer zodiac
virgo and cancer zodiac
villains cancer zodiac
vintage cancer zodiac
vintage cancer zodiac charm
venus in cancer zodiac
van cleef zodiac pendant cancer
cancer zodiac in vietnamese
cancer zodiac water sign
cancer zodiac weakness
cancer zodiac woman
cancer zodiac wallpaper
cancer zodiac what month
cancer zodiac water or fire
cancer zodiac worst match
cancer zodiac worst traits
cancer zodiac when mad
cancer zodiac wallpaper aesthetic
what is a cancer zodiac
what month is cancer zodiac sign
what month is cancer zodiac
what color is cancer zodiac
weakness of cancer zodiac
what are the traits of a cancer zodiac sign
what is the meaning of cancer zodiac sign
woman cancer zodiac
what is a cancer zodiac animal
what is good about cancer zodiac sign
cancer x zodiac
zodiac cancer x gemini
astrology cancer x capricorn
cancer zodiac letters
cancer x
cancer x cancer zodiac compatibility
cancer x cancer zodiac
zodiak taurus x cancer
what sign are cancer
x cancer
cancer zodiac year 2024
cancer zodiac yin yang
cancer zodiac year
cancer zodiac yin or yang
cancer zodiac yesterday
cancer zodiac year of dragon
what are cancer zodiac signs
year 2024 for cancer zodiac
yin yang cancer zodiac
year of the dragon for cancer zodiac sign
year of cancer zodiac
youtubers with cancer zodiac
year 2023 for cancer zodiac sign
year of the dragon for cancer zodiac
what year is cancer zodiac sign
what does it mean if you are a cancer zodiac
how to know if your a cancer zodiac sign
cancer astrology zone
cancer zodiac pisces zodiac
why are zodiac cancers so dangerous
cancer about zodiac
cancer zodiac in chinese zodiac
cancer zodiac zodiac
cancer sheep zodiac
zodiac cancer characteristics
zodiac cancer celebrities
zodiac cancer child
zodiac cancer chart
cancer horoscope 0800
cancer zodiac july 07
horoscope cancer 09 juin 2023
are cancers good for cancers
are cancers lucky
cancer sun 0 degrees
cancer 0 degrees
what are cancers sign
why are cancers called cancer
why is cancer called cancer zodiac
what represents cancer zodiac
0 degree cancer astrology
0 degree cancer
0 cancer
cancer zodiac 15 year cycle
cancer zodiac 10 things
cancer zodiac 10
cancer zodiac 18k
cancer zodiac 15th birthday
cancer 101 zodiac
zodiac cancer 16
cancer horoscope 19 march 2024
cancer horoscope 13 december 2023
cancer horoscope 11 march 2024
10 bad things about cancer zodiac
10 things about cancer zodiac male
10 things about cancer zodiac female
100 facts about cancer zodiac
10 facts about cancer zodiac
10 good things about cancer zodiac
10 interesting facts about cancer zodiac
10 facts about cancer zodiac sign
14k gold cancer zodiac necklace
cancer zodiac 2024
cancer zodiac 2024 prediction
cancer zodiac 2023
cancer zodiac 2025
cancer zodiac 2024 january
cancer zodiac 2024 career
cancer zodiac 2023 predictions
cancer zodiac 2024 in hindi
cancer zodiac 2024 march
cancer zodiac 2023 horoscope
2024 for cancer zodiac
2 types of cancer zodiac
2025 for cancer zodiac
20 facts about cancer zodiac
2026 for cancer zodiac
2023 for cancer zodiac
2023 cancer zodiac predictions
2024 prediction for cancer zodiac
2024 lucky color for cancer zodiac sign
2024 color of the year for cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac 3 stages
cancer zodiac 3 types
cancer zodiac 3 signs
cancer 3 zodiac
cancer horoscope 31 january 2024
cancer horoscope 30 march 2024
cancer horoscope 31 july 2023
cancer horoscope 30 march 2023
cancer horoscope 30 august 2023
cancer horoscope 30 november 2023
3 types of cancer zodiac
3 stages of cancer zodiac
3 words to describe cancer zodiac
3 facts about cancer zodiac
3 different types of cancer zodiac
3d cancer zodiac sign
3 fun facts about cancer zodiac
august 31 zodiac sign compatibility with cancer
cancer june 30 zodiac sign
cancer zodiac june 30
cancer horoscope 4 march 2024
cancer horoscope 4 april 2024
cancer horoscope 4 may 2023
cancer horoscope 4 january 2024
cancer horoscope 4 october 2023
cancer horoscope 4 april 2023
cancer horoscope 4 september 2023
cancer horoscope 4th december 2023
cancer horoscope 4 july 2023
cancer horoscope 4 june 2023
4 types of cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac wallpaper 4k
cancer zodiac july 4
zodiac sign of cancer 4 letters
what do cancer zodiac sign mean
cancer zodiac rules
4 cancers
zodiac cancer types
cancer horoscope 5 march 2024
cancer horoscope 5 april 2024
cancer horoscope 5 october 2023
cancer horoscope 5 april 2023
cancer horoscope 5 june 2023
cancer horoscope 5 july 2023
cancer horoscope 5 january 2024
cancer horoscope 5 may 2023
cancer horoscope 5 february 2024
cancer horoscope 5 december 2023
5 facts about cancer zodiac
50 cent is a cancer zodiac
50 cent zodiac sign cancer
cancer 5th house zodiac
cancer zodiac sign july 5
cancer zodiac july 5
june 5 zodiac sign cancer
5 cancers
cancer zodiac 69
cancer zodiac 69 tattoo
cancer zodiac 69 meaning
cancer horoscope 6 march 2024
cancer horoscope 6 july 2023
cancer horoscope 6 april 2023
cancer horoscope 6 december 2023
cancer horoscope 6 october 2023
cancer horoscope 6 june 2023
cancer horoscope 6 september 2023
69 cancer zodiac
meaning of cancer zodiac sign 69
cancer zodiac july 6
what does the 69 mean for cancer
cancer born on july 6
cancer big 6 astrology
69 cancer sign
6 cancer causing foods
cancer horoscope 7 march 2024
cancer horoscope 7 may 2023
cancer horoscope 7 september 2023
cancer horoscope 7 july 2023
cancer horoscope 7 june 2023
cancer horoscope 7th may 2023
cancer horoscope 7 november 2023
cancer horoscope 7 august 2023
cancer horoscope 7 april 2023
cancer horoscope 7 february 2024
cancer zodiac july 7
cancer horoscope 8 march 2024
cancer horoscope 8 january 2024
cancer horoscope 8 may 2023
cancer horoscope 8 september 2023
cancer horoscope 8 june 2023
cancer horoscope 8 april 2023
cancer horoscope 8 august 2023
cancer horoscope 8 december 2023
cancer horoscope 8 november 2023
cancer horoscope 8th march 2024
july 8th cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac july 8
signo zodiacal cancer julio 8
what flower represents cancer zodiac
why cancer is dangerous zodiac
what gifts do cancers like
cancer 8h
cancer horoscope 9 june 2023
cancer horoscope 9 may 2023
cancer horoscope 9 march 2024
cancer horoscope 9 january 2024
cancer horoscope 9 april 2023
cancer horoscope 9 october 2023
cancer horoscope 9 september 2023
cancer horoscope 9 november 2023
cancer horoscope 9 august 2023
cancer horoscope 9th april 2023
9 cancer zodiac sign
july 9 zodiac sign cancer
cancer zodiac july 9
what do cancer look like zodiac
what does cancer hate zodiac
9 cancer symptoms
what cancer zodiac sign
what cancer zodiac sign means

Sorry in advance if I sound like I am rambling. This just happened a few hours ago and I am still crying.
For some background, I (30 f) messaged my SIL (32f) yesterday to wish her a happy Mother’s Day and to let her know I had a gift for her and a gift for my niece (6f) for my nieces up coming birthday. I always make the kids in the family something for their birthday since I am rather crafty and prefer to be more original.
My SIL, BIL, DH and I have had a rocky relationship for years. The past couple of years I have been keeping my distance as I do not feel welcome and because I am working on boundaries. There were some accusations (most founded) that they were on drugs. That is some crap I do not want around my kids. Yet, it is my “issues” that cause tension in the family because I have decided that my little nuclear family deserves rve some peace. I only bend a little bit if there is a party because the kids adore each other.
SIL told me that my niece is having a party and we were supposed to be invited. I told her that surprised me since my MIL said she had not heard of a party. She told me this when we discussed the gift I made my niece. It is an epoxy hummingbird hair clip. It took a lot of time to get right and I was quite proud of it.
SIL said BIL was supposed to extend invites to his side of the family. MIL showed me screenshots of the messages where he asked if my kids were coming (as usual) but no word of me.
SIL wrote a huge message saying BIL didn’t have a way to get a hold of me or my DH, and that of course we were invited as we are family.
It is important to note that they hold their children above our heads as a threat to take them away at the drop of a hat if things do not go their way. This has caused a lot of drama over the past 8 years. The past 2 of which I thought we were on bad terms. This was based on some comments the kids often made and the last time we said more than 2 words to each other it was a big fight.
I told SIL that it did not seem like BIL wanted me there for anything more than my kids and that I did not feel comfortable because the only person who even mentioned that I was welcome was SIL. I have gotten to the point where if I do not feel welcome I will not go. I suffer from Fibromyalgia, depression, and anxiety. And while I am doing better to take care of myself, things are still difficult.
I told SIL that it was ok, I don’t want to cause tension and I actually had plans to see my mom this weekend. My mom lives a couple of hours away and sometimes I get to see my brother. It is cathartic for all of us as my husband gets a break before and after work and I get my family time once or twice a month. We normally craft together and have our “crafting therapy” which is something I really need lately.
The last couple of times I went to my mom’s my son was with MIL and FIL. My mom had me promise that during the summer I would bring my son with me at least once a month. I think this is fair so I agreed.
My SIL wrote a long answer that she sent when I was taking a nap, (No sleep last night so my nerves are frayed) Honestly I have read it twice and have not retained much of the message.
During my nap I missed 2 calls from my MIL. Then I woke up to my MIL bursting into my bedroom, no we do not live with her; she drove to our house, pounded on our door, DH let her in. She barged into my room and started yelling at me. How could I tell SIL that the screenshots were sent to me? How could I tell her we talk? (Huh?) Do I know that SIL called MIL screaming about everything? Do I know FIL is on the phone in a screaming match with BIL? And the last one was that SIL told MIL that if I do not come to my nieces birthday then my MIL would not be allowed to see the kids again.
I woke up to all of this. My DH was trying to figure out what was going on or how to handle it.
Just as quick as MIL came, she turned around and left. I offered to show her exactly what I said, but no. All my fault.
I know this situation is all drama. This is the first time in 2 years that I tried to have an actual conversation with SIL. I tried to be honest, not even brutally, just honest about how I feel.
After MIL left, my kids came in my room and hugged me. They heard everything. What 6 and 3 year old needs to see their mom break down like that?
I called my mom and told her everything and that I started falling into the dark hole of depression again. I know I am exhausted both physically and emotionally. I just needed to get this out.
This is not the first time taking the kids away has been used as a manipulation tool but this time I am being blamed for it. IDK what to do. I just want to curl up into a ball and hide from everything. I want to see my family and to stop feeling like a pawn of this fucked up chess game. I need to remember I am the queen of my own set, tackling my own problems on my own board. I was finally getting to a good place. I just hope this crap does not derail my progress again.
Thank you for reading my rant

I hate this time of year because I’m forced to celebrate my mother multiple days in a row. She always gets very upset if I don’t call or text on her birthday because she thinks I think she neglected me as a parent (guess what, she did). She then gives me the silent treatment. My father calls me begging me to call her, because if I don’t get along with her he can’t have a relationship with me. He tries in a variety of ways to manipulate me to get me to call her. I don’t want to wish her a happy birthday because when I came out to my parents last year, my mom said she was going to kill herself and didn’t talk to me for six months, and has never acknowledged the subject again. (Guess what, she didn’t). I just hate my mom for being so terrible at parenting and my dad for giving into her every emotional whim.

Sorry for the quality- I wish the audio was better. I was crying. I got the best gift on my 18th birthday, my favorite musician Julian Koster called me and played happy birthday on his saw. (My parents were waiting till I turned 18 to divorce and they had such a strong dislike of each other that they literally told me on my 18th birthday, so my day was absolutely terrible and he saved it) This man brings magic to the world. This is one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me. My mom found the video from her old phone and sent it to me today. I’m so happy to be able to recall this memory. Julian saved me that day without even knowing it. Gave me so much joy in the hardest time of my life at the time. So appreciative. He was always my favorite in elephant 6.

To clarify, I am NZ born, Māori, Rarotongan and Irish. My grandfather died 14 years ago and my father and his siblings sought to inherit 700+ acres of land in Arorangi, Rarotonga. However, no legal body informed my father or any of his siblings of the sizeable land inheritance and to further that point, the 'family legal counsel' lied to my father and his siblings about the land they were set to inherit. As far as they were aware, they were entitled to a meager amount of land. My father even claimed some of the meager portion of land the relatives and family lawyer implied my father and his siblings were entitled to. However, due to a statute of law in Rarotonga, my father and his siblings names must be put on the land by next year, or the land will cede ownership to the crown. We were only informed of this as the extended family obviously wish to keep whatever scam they have going and informed us that we need to sign documents in a hurried manner and for some stupid reason we should cede power of attorney. We told them to give us time, figured they were full of shit and investigated. This is how we found the size of the land my dad and his family were set to inherit, after flying there and forcing the land courts there to declare how much land we own. Currently we are in Rarotonga at the moment and are about to put our name on the land tomorrow.
We have found there are several hotels on the land my father and his siblings are entitled to, and that the extended family, my grandfathers siblings, have been falsely claiming power of attorney for the past 15 years, and taking all the dividends of land ownership, to the sum of at least half a million NZD per hotel. It is also likely they have illegally leased and are illegally renting the land and collecting more additional revenue from these as well, although we have yet to see a surveyor to properly gauge how much we are owed.
We tried to enlist the aid of lawyers, but we were either turned down or received no response, as the owners of the hotels that currently sit on our land enlist the aid of nearly every firm on the island, and as such our legal options are almost zero.
Would like some advice and if anyone has been in a similar situation please do reach out.

So I ‘23M’ have been with my fiancée ‘22 F’ for 15 months and engaged for 5 months. Before we met I was drinking quite a bit and trying to conceal nicotine as best as possible. Eventually I quit nicotine for a year and recently enjoyed a vape while deployed on an army mission everyone smokes and I was in the vicinity getting smells and cravings. I was gone for 4 days and when I returned I still had nicotine cravings. I’ve been hinting at having a celebratory cigar for sometime and my fiancé just looks at me with disgust when I bring it up. I figured that one wouldn’t hurt so I decided that today on lunch I would celebrate with a small cigar and some orange juice, I know it’s a strange combo but, it felt good to have that moment to reflect on the past year and half afterwards I grabbed a coffee and continued on with my day. Now the one thing about me and my fiancé is that we share our location and with the coffee and smoke shop being so close together I’m 50/50 on whether she knew or not. I definitely don’t smell of anything and I’d usually tell the truth but, recently she’s been going through a lot and I don’t want her to stress out about me enjoying one celebratory cigar. I also have no desire for nicotine and the cigar made my stomach quite upset. Now usually I don’t like to have a giant celebration for my birthday and this year my fiancé told me that we would go to dinner and get some clothes which is fantastic. My fiancé is is a great woman and we have our ups and downs. Problem is when we argue or fight she closes herself off and gets a little passive aggressive. She ended up getting off work around 1:30 and I told her that I would be arriving home at 4:00 with dinner reservations at 6:00. When I got home it was quiet and i open the bedroom door to find that she had decorated the room. I quickly closed the door as she wasn’t ready to show me and I pretended to not see anything. She closed the door and fiddled around in guessing she wasn’t finished and she took like an extra 10 minutes. While I was waiting I got some calls from some friends wishing me happy birthday. She opened the door and saw me on a call and gave me a death stare. I finished up my phone conversation and proceeded to knock on the door. No answer… Thinking she didn’t hear me I asked if she was ready. When I heard a faint yes. I entered and everything was great. You could tell that she put a lot of effort into decorating with balloons and a cake on the bed. She rushed out of the bathroom and demanded that I blow out the candles. So I asked if she was alright? She exclaimed with a “yes!” And I blew out the candles but there was tension in the air as she walked away from me. Feeling the tension I decided to let her be and whet to our guest bedroom. I don’t know if I was being petty but I half expected her to come to the room and say something, anything but I got nothing. After spending some time I looked at the time and it was 5:30. No way in hell we’d make it to our reservations and I called the place to cancel. Now it’s 6:30 and still nothing so I went for a drive and I’m typing this out now. I don’t know if she know about the cigar and is disappointed or if she’s upset about something. A part of me wants to enjoy this day but I’m having mixed feelings and kinda want to eat alone.
Am I wrong for breaking a year of not smoking on my birthday and how should I address the elephant in the room? Is traditional nicotine use a red flag / dealbreaker? Am I screwed? AITA?

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac dates
10 things about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac traits
cancer zodiac personality
cancer zodiac symbol
cancer zodiac month
cancer zodiac tattoo
cancer zodiac characteristics
cancer zodiac facts
cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac animal
cancer zodiac and capricorn
cancer zodiac art
cancer zodiac aesthetic
cancer zodiac air sign
cancer zodiac astrology
cancer zodiac attributes
cancer zodiac and scorpio
cancer zodiac and aries
cancer zodiac and aquarius
about cancer zodiac sign
all about cancer zodiac
are cancer zodiac dangerous
about cancer zodiac sign girl
age of cancer zodiac
attributes of cancer zodiac sign
after cancer zodiac
animal for cancer zodiac sign
anime characters cancer zodiac
aries and cancer zodiac sign compatibility
cancer zodiac birthday
cancer zodiac bad traits
cancer zodiac birthstone
cancer zodiac best match
cancer zodiac birth dates
cancer zodiac body part
cancer zodiac background
cancer zodiac bracelet
cancer zodiac best friends
cancer zodiac baby girl
best crystals for cancer zodiac
bad things about cancer zodiac
boy cancer zodiac
best match for cancer zodiac
birthday wishes for cancer zodiac
best color for cancer zodiac
best job for cancer zodiac
best stone for cancer zodiac
birthstone for cancer zodiac
bracelet for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac compatibility
cancer zodiac color
cancer zodiac celebrities
cancer zodiac constellation
cancer zodiac crystals
cancer zodiac color palette
cancer zodiac characteristics female
cancer zodiac compatibility chart
cancer zodiac chinese
cancer zodiac sign dates
cancer zodiac dates range
cancer zodiac description
cancer zodiac days
cancer zodiac demon
cancer zodiac drawing
cancer zodiac daily
cancer zodiac dates 2024
cancer zodiac dogs
cancer zodiac dark side
definition of cancer zodiac sign
dates for cancer zodiac sign
dark side of cancer zodiac signs
dragon cancer zodiac
different types of cancer zodiac
demon cancer zodiac
does cancer zodiac have anger issues
description of cancer zodiac sign
double cancer zodiac
diamond for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac element
cancer zodiac emoji
cancer zodiac enemies
cancer zodiac explained
cancer zodiac earrings
cancer zodiac energy
cancer zodiac ear piercing
cancer zodiac eyes
cancer zodiac español
cancer zodiac emotionally manipulative
everything about cancer zodiac
evolved cancer zodiac
element of cancer zodiac
evil cancer zodiac
enemy of cancer zodiac
emerald for cancer zodiac
easy cancer zodiac drawing
emotional cancer zodiac
explain cancer zodiac sign
everything you need to know about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac flower
cancer zodiac flower tattoo
cancer zodiac for today
cancer zodiac female
cancer zodiac favorite color
cancer zodiac famous people
cancer zodiac fire sign
cancer zodiac friends
cancer zodiac facts male
facts about cancer zodiac sign
facts about cancer zodiac woman
fun facts about cancer zodiac
famous cancer zodiac
flower for cancer zodiac
facts about cancer zodiac man
features of cancer zodiac sign
female cancer zodiac sign
friends of cancer zodiac
funny cancer zodiac quotes
cancer zodiac girl
cancer zodiac gemstone
cancer zodiac greek god
cancer zodiac god
cancer zodiac goddess
cancer zodiac gif
cancer zodiac gem
cancer zodiac good and bad traits
cancer zodiac good in bed
cancer zodiac gifts
good things about cancer zodiac
geek bar cancer zodiac flavor
gemstone for cancer zodiac
girl cancer zodiac
gifts for cancer zodiac man
gifts for cancer zodiac woman
gemstone for cancer zodiac sign
girly cancer zodiac tattoo
god of cancer zodiac
gem for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac horoscope today
cancer zodiac horoscope
cancer zodiac health problems
cancer zodiac horoscope 2024
cancer zodiac history
cancer zodiac house
cancer zodiac hand tattoo
cancer zodiac hair color
cancer zodiac hoodie
cancer zodiac humor
how rare is cancer zodiac sign
happy birthday cancer zodiac
how is cancer zodiac sign
how dangerous is cancer zodiac
how to be friends with a cancer zodiac
how will cancer zodiac die
how to deal with cancer zodiac sign
healing crystals for cancer zodiac
habits of cancer zodiac
herbs for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac in hindi
cancer zodiac in chinese
cancer zodiac images
cancer zodiac in telugu
cancer zodiac info
cancer zodiac in spanish
cancer zodiac is what month
cancer zodiac in relationships
cancer zodiac information
cancer zodiac in 2024
is cancer zodiac dangerous
interesting facts about cancer zodiac
is cancer zodiac rare
information about cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac rich or poor
instagram bio for cancer zodiac
images of cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac sign lucky
indian celebrities with cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac a water sign
cancer zodiac jewelry
cancer zodiac jobs
cancer zodiac july
cancer zodiac june
cancer zodiac january 2024
cancer zodiac june 21
cancer zodiac japanese
cancer zodiac july 22
cancer zodiac june 27
cancer zodiac july 16
july cancer zodiac
jobs for cancer zodiac
june cancer zodiac sign
july cancer zodiac traits
jewelry for cancer zodiac
june cancer zodiac personality
june cancer zodiac traits
june vs july cancer zodiac
july birthday cancer zodiac
jade for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac kids
cancer zodiac keywords
cancer zodiac keychain
cancer zodiac kpop idols
cancer zodiac killers
cancer zodiac karma
cancer zodiac know for
cancer zodiac keyboard symbol
cancer zodiac child
cancer zodiac knight
kpop idols cancer zodiac
kpop idols who have cancer zodiac sign
korean actors cancer zodiac
korean celebrities with cancer zodiac sign
katangian ng cancer zodiac
karaang napta cancer zodiac sign
karma cancer zodiac
what kind of person is cancer zodiac sign
things to know about cancer zodiac
everything to know about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac lucky numbers
cancer zodiac love
cancer zodiac logo
cancer zodiac love language
cancer zodiac lucky colors
cancer zodiac love compatibility
cancer zodiac libra
cancer zodiac lips
cancer zodiac least compatibility
cancer zodiac leo
lucky stone for cancer zodiac sign
logo cancer zodiac
leo and cancer zodiac sign
lucky color for cancer zodiac
lucky wallpaper for cancer zodiac
lucky number for cancer zodiac sign
lunar eclipse effect on cancer zodiac
libra and cancer zodiac sign compatibility
last day of cancer zodiac
love life of cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac meaning
cancer zodiac men
cancer zodiac memes
cancer zodiac match
cancer zodiac month dates
cancer zodiac moon sign
cancer zodiac moon
cancer zodiac meaning male
cancer zodiac meaning female
meaning of cancer zodiac sign
male cancer zodiac
meaningful cancer zodiac tattoo
more about cancer zodiac sign
month of cancer zodiac sign
moonstone for cancer zodiac
month of cancer zodiac
male cancer zodiac tattoo
match for cancer zodiac
mlbb cancer zodiac skin
cancer zodiac necklace
cancer zodiac negative traits
cancer zodiac number
cancer zodiac names
cancer zodiac nails
cancer zodiac nail designs
cancer zodiac nicknames
cancer zodiac necklace gold
cancer zodiac neck tattoo
cancer zodiac necklace silver
nicknames for cancer zodiac
names for cancer zodiac girl
nature of cancer zodiac sign
names for cancer zodiac boy
negatives of cancer zodiac
nature of cancer zodiac
number for cancer zodiac
nba players cancer zodiac
names related to cancer zodiac
next to cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac outfits
cancer zodiac origin
cancer zodiac opposite
cancer zodiac opposite sign
cancer zodiac overview
cancer zodiac of the day
cancer zodiac oc
cancer zodiac origin story
cancer zodiac occupations
cancer zodiac other names
opposite of cancer zodiac
one word to describe cancer zodiac
other names for cancer zodiac
outfits for cancer zodiac sign
opal for cancer zodiac
one piece cancer zodiac
october cancer zodiac
onyx for cancer zodiac
another word for cancer zodiac
ox cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac personality traits
cancer zodiac planet
cancer zodiac personality female
cancer zodiac personality male
cancer zodiac pictures
cancer zodiac powers
cancer zodiac pros and cons
cancer zodiac pendant
cancer zodiac power color
personality of cancer zodiac sign
picture of cancer zodiac sign
pros and cons of cancer zodiac
pictures of cancer zodiac sign girl
planet for cancer zodiac
pisces and cancer zodiac sign
power of cancer zodiac sign
pearl for cancer zodiac
peacock cancer zodiac
perfect match for cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac quotes
cancer zodiac qualities
cancer zodiac quotes funny
cancer zodiac quiz
cancer zodiac questions
cancer zodiac quote of the day
cancer zodiac quiet
cancer zodiac quiz buzzfeed
cancer zodiac quora
cancer zodiac queen
qualities of cancer zodiac sign
qualities of a cancer zodiac
quotes about cancer zodiac
questions to ask a cancer zodiac
quotes for cancer zodiac sign
quiet cancer zodiac
questions for cancer zodiac
questions to ask a cancer zodiac sign
quiz for cancer zodiac
quora cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac reading
cancer zodiac red flags
cancer zodiac reading today
cancer zodiac ruling planet
cancer zodiac rising sign
cancer zodiac relationship
cancer zodiac reddit
cancer zodiac ring
cancer zodiac range
cancer zodiac rappers
ring for cancer zodiac
ruby for cancer zodiac
rabbit cancer zodiac
red flag cancer zodiac
rappers that are cancer zodiac sign
real cancer zodiac facts
rat cancer zodiac
ruling planet of cancer zodiac sign
random facts about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac sign traits
cancer zodiac sign meaning
cancer zodiac sign month
cancer zodiac stone
cancer zodiac soulmate
cancer zodiac sign compatibility
cancer zodiac sign tattoo
sign of cancer zodiac
stones for cancer zodiac
symbol for cancer zodiac
stone for cancer zodiac sign
symbol of cancer zodiac sign
scary facts about cancer zodiac
serial killers with cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac tattoo ideas
cancer zodiac today
cancer zodiac tattoos for females
cancer zodiac traits female
cancer zodiac traits male
cancer zodiac tattoos for guys
cancer zodiac tarot card
cancer zodiac type
traits of cancer zodiac
things about cancer zodiac sign
tattoo cancer zodiac
types of cancer zodiac
tattoo ideas for cancer zodiac
the meaning of cancer zodiac sign
tattoo cancer zodiac sign
today cancer zodiac
today cancer zodiac sign
today's cancer zodiac horoscope
cancer zodiac urban dictionary
cancer zodiac usernames
cancer zodiac upset
cancer zodiac usa today
cancer zodiac usernames for instagram
cancer zodiac unlucky numbers
cancer zodiac unlucky color
cancer zodiac urdu
cancer zodiac unique facts
cancer zodiac unlucky
unique cancer zodiac tattoos
unique cancer zodiac tattoos for females
ugali ng cancer zodiac sign
understanding cancer zodiac
username for cancer zodiac
urban dictionary cancer zodiac sign
unhealthy cancer zodiac
usa today cancer zodiac
unknown facts about cancer zodiac
unlucky colour for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac virgo
cancer zodiac vape
cancer zodiac vibes
cancer zodiac videos
cancer zodiac vs scorpio
cancer zodiac vs leo
cancer zodiac venus
cancer zodiac vector
cancer zodiac vs gemini
cancer zodiac vindictive
virgo and cancer zodiac sign
vans cancer zodiac
virgo and cancer zodiac
villains cancer zodiac
vintage cancer zodiac
vintage cancer zodiac charm
venus in cancer zodiac
van cleef zodiac pendant cancer
cancer zodiac in vietnamese
cancer zodiac water sign
cancer zodiac weakness
cancer zodiac woman
cancer zodiac wallpaper
cancer zodiac what month
cancer zodiac water or fire
cancer zodiac worst match
cancer zodiac worst traits
cancer zodiac when mad
cancer zodiac wallpaper aesthetic
what is a cancer zodiac
what month is cancer zodiac sign
what month is cancer zodiac
what color is cancer zodiac
weakness of cancer zodiac
what are the traits of a cancer zodiac sign
what is the meaning of cancer zodiac sign
woman cancer zodiac
what is a cancer zodiac animal
what is good about cancer zodiac sign
cancer x zodiac
zodiac cancer x gemini
astrology cancer x capricorn
cancer zodiac letters
cancer x
cancer x cancer zodiac compatibility
cancer x cancer zodiac
zodiak taurus x cancer
what sign are cancer
x cancer
cancer zodiac year 2024
cancer zodiac yin yang
cancer zodiac year
cancer zodiac yin or yang
cancer zodiac yesterday
cancer zodiac year of dragon
what are cancer zodiac signs
year 2024 for cancer zodiac
yin yang cancer zodiac
year of the dragon for cancer zodiac sign
year of cancer zodiac
youtubers with cancer zodiac
year 2023 for cancer zodiac sign
year of the dragon for cancer zodiac
what year is cancer zodiac sign
what does it mean if you are a cancer zodiac
how to know if your a cancer zodiac sign
cancer astrology zone
cancer zodiac pisces zodiac
why are zodiac cancers so dangerous
cancer about zodiac
cancer zodiac in chinese zodiac
cancer zodiac zodiac
cancer sheep zodiac
zodiac cancer characteristics
zodiac cancer celebrities
zodiac cancer child
zodiac cancer chart
cancer horoscope 0800
cancer zodiac july 07
horoscope cancer 09 juin 2023
are cancers good for cancers
are cancers lucky
cancer sun 0 degrees
cancer 0 degrees
what are cancers sign
why are cancers called cancer
why is cancer called cancer zodiac
what represents cancer zodiac
0 degree cancer astrology
0 degree cancer
0 cancer
cancer zodiac 15 year cycle
cancer zodiac 10 things
cancer zodiac 10
cancer zodiac 18k
cancer zodiac 15th birthday
cancer 101 zodiac
zodiac cancer 16
cancer horoscope 19 march 2024
cancer horoscope 13 december 2023
cancer horoscope 11 march 2024
10 bad things about cancer zodiac
10 things about cancer zodiac male
10 things about cancer zodiac female
100 facts about cancer zodiac
10 facts about cancer zodiac
10 good things about cancer zodiac
10 interesting facts about cancer zodiac
10 facts about cancer zodiac sign
14k gold cancer zodiac necklace
cancer zodiac 2024
cancer zodiac 2024 prediction
cancer zodiac 2023
cancer zodiac 2025
cancer zodiac 2024 january
cancer zodiac 2024 career
cancer zodiac 2023 predictions
cancer zodiac 2024 in hindi
cancer zodiac 2024 march
cancer zodiac 2023 horoscope
2024 for cancer zodiac
2 types of cancer zodiac
2025 for cancer zodiac
20 facts about cancer zodiac
2026 for cancer zodiac
2023 for cancer zodiac
2023 cancer zodiac predictions
2024 prediction for cancer zodiac
2024 lucky color for cancer zodiac sign
2024 color of the year for cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac 3 stages
cancer zodiac 3 types
cancer zodiac 3 signs
cancer 3 zodiac
cancer horoscope 31 january 2024
cancer horoscope 30 march 2024
cancer horoscope 31 july 2023
cancer horoscope 30 march 2023
cancer horoscope 30 august 2023
cancer horoscope 30 november 2023
3 types of cancer zodiac
3 stages of cancer zodiac
3 words to describe cancer zodiac
3 facts about cancer zodiac
3 different types of cancer zodiac
3d cancer zodiac sign
3 fun facts about cancer zodiac
august 31 zodiac sign compatibility with cancer
cancer june 30 zodiac sign
cancer zodiac june 30
cancer horoscope 4 march 2024
cancer horoscope 4 april 2024
cancer horoscope 4 may 2023
cancer horoscope 4 january 2024
cancer horoscope 4 october 2023
cancer horoscope 4 april 2023
cancer horoscope 4 september 2023
cancer horoscope 4th december 2023
cancer horoscope 4 july 2023
cancer horoscope 4 june 2023
4 types of cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac wallpaper 4k
cancer zodiac july 4
zodiac sign of cancer 4 letters
what do cancer zodiac sign mean
cancer zodiac rules
4 cancers
zodiac cancer types
cancer horoscope 5 march 2024
cancer horoscope 5 april 2024
cancer horoscope 5 october 2023
cancer horoscope 5 april 2023
cancer horoscope 5 june 2023
cancer horoscope 5 july 2023
cancer horoscope 5 january 2024
cancer horoscope 5 may 2023
cancer horoscope 5 february 2024
cancer horoscope 5 december 2023
5 facts about cancer zodiac
50 cent is a cancer zodiac
50 cent zodiac sign cancer
cancer 5th house zodiac
cancer zodiac sign july 5
cancer zodiac july 5
june 5 zodiac sign cancer
5 cancers
cancer zodiac 69
cancer zodiac 69 tattoo
cancer zodiac 69 meaning
cancer horoscope 6 march 2024
cancer horoscope 6 july 2023
cancer horoscope 6 april 2023
cancer horoscope 6 december 2023
cancer horoscope 6 october 2023
cancer horoscope 6 june 2023
cancer horoscope 6 september 2023
69 cancer zodiac
meaning of cancer zodiac sign 69
cancer zodiac july 6
what does the 69 mean for cancer
cancer born on july 6
cancer big 6 astrology
69 cancer sign
6 cancer causing foods
cancer horoscope 7 march 2024
cancer horoscope 7 may 2023
cancer horoscope 7 september 2023
cancer horoscope 7 july 2023
cancer horoscope 7 june 2023
cancer horoscope 7th may 2023
cancer horoscope 7 november 2023
cancer horoscope 7 august 2023
cancer horoscope 7 april 2023
cancer horoscope 7 february 2024
cancer zodiac july 7
cancer horoscope 8 march 2024
cancer horoscope 8 january 2024
cancer horoscope 8 may 2023
cancer horoscope 8 september 2023
cancer horoscope 8 june 2023
cancer horoscope 8 april 2023
cancer horoscope 8 august 2023
cancer horoscope 8 december 2023
cancer horoscope 8 november 2023
cancer horoscope 8th march 2024
july 8th cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac july 8
signo zodiacal cancer julio 8
what flower represents cancer zodiac
why cancer is dangerous zodiac
what gifts do cancers like
cancer 8h
cancer horoscope 9 june 2023
cancer horoscope 9 may 2023
cancer horoscope 9 march 2024
cancer horoscope 9 january 2024
cancer horoscope 9 april 2023
cancer horoscope 9 october 2023
cancer horoscope 9 september 2023
cancer horoscope 9 november 2023
cancer horoscope 9 august 2023
cancer horoscope 9th april 2023
9 cancer zodiac sign
july 9 zodiac sign cancer
cancer zodiac july 9
what do cancer look like zodiac
what does cancer hate zodiac
9 cancer symptoms
what cancer zodiac sign
what cancer zodiac sign means

The garage door shut with a groan behind us, closing us in the gloom of the single bulb hanging over the car.
Mother took a drag off her cigarette and sighed as she exhaled, the smoke filled the cabin of the Ford and stung my eyes.
“You really disappointed me today, Julianne," she tapped her cigarette in the ashtray below the dash, "you embarrassed me in front of the other mothers at the Ice Cream Social, shoveling down seconds and thirds like a pig. I thought I raised you better than that.”
She took another drag, daintily holding the cigarette between her perfectly manicured fingers.
“I'm going to have to tell your brother about this," she continued, “he'll have to come up with a punishment fit for a pig."
I felt my stomach drop. My kid brother, Thomas, was only six, but could be exceptionally cruel. Mother seemed to encourage him and was deferring to him more and more frequently for how the house was run, especially concerning my upbringing.
"Mother, please, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you. I'm sorry I was a pig and ate so much ice cream. I promise I won't do it again, I'll never eat any ice cream again," I was pleading with stone, unyielding.
“Hush your mouth. Go to your room and wait for Thomas," she put out the cigarette and got out of the car, I had no choice but to follow.
It felt like walking to the gallows as I stepped inside the house and headed towards the stairs to go to my room. Thomas had grown fond recently of physical punishment, he obviously delighted in Mother whipping me with a belt or, recently, Mother had allowed him to start beating me with a wooden spoon. He would squeal and giggle like a normal child watching bubbles in the wind while I screamed. I was dreading whatever was going to happen tonight, I chastised myself for eating that ice cream, I should have known she would show up. My sins were always laid bare.
Down the hall, I could hear Thomas watching television in the den. I only got to watch TV for half an hour on Saturday morning and new episodes of Happy Days with Mother and Thomas. Thomas got to watch all the TV he wanted. He could listen to the radio and turntable as much as he wanted, as loud as he wanted. Thomas had an entire room just for his toys.
I entered my bedroom, it was a space I occupied, but it didn't feel like mine. Mother kept it spartan, white walls and white bedspread. A crucifix over the bed and a painting of Jesus over the door. I had my desk and chair and a dresser with some of the porcelain dolls Daddy gave me before he died that Mother let me keep. That was it.
I placed my book bag down and sat on my bed, waiting for Thomas. It was a while, sitting there with nothing but my own thoughts and staring at the open door. I felt humiliated, I was almost thirteen and my entire life was dictated by my brother. Mother kept the house in constant lockdown to keep Thomas a secret. No outsiders were allowed in. I couldn't have friends because she was afraid I would mention him or sneak a friend in to gawk at my brother and tease him for being different.
I would never make fun of him, I was terrified of him. Terrified of what he was and what he was becoming.
Eventually I heard his heavy footsteps coming up the stairs and I felt my heart start beating faster and my palms began to sweat. I kneaded my skirt in my hands, trying to calm myself and dry my palms. His slow arrhythmic footsteps came down the hall and I watched him as he entered the room.
I couldn't help but internally recoil at his appearance, even though I'd known him since he was born, I could never adjust to how unnatural he appeared. Thomas had been born at home and had never seen a doctor, but he was obviously unwell.
He was six years old and was barely over two feet tall, but very squat and wide. His skin was thick and gray, the whites of his beady eyes were yellow and his hair was wispy and white like an old man's, spreading out like a halo around his gargoyle face. A slight odor of decomposition hung about him, it reminded me faintly of garbage cans on a hot summer day. I hated when Mother made me help him with a bath, his skin felt like old brittle leather that flaked onto my clothes in gray flecks. His body was dense like concrete, I could barely lift him into the tub. Picking him up forced his hair into my face where that smell of rot would fill my nose, causing me to gag, silently, so as not to offend him and draw any ire from him or Mother.
Today, Thomas was wearing bib overalls with a red and green striped sweater underneath, reminding me of a grotesque doll.
“Mama says you acted like a piggy today at the ice cream social,” he spoke up to me in his unsettlingly high pitched, yet raspy voice, like a child that smoked as much as Mother, "you need to come down for dinner right now for your punishment for embarrassing Mama."
He turned and walked back down the stairs and I had no choice but to follow his toddling form downstairs to the dining table. We entered the kitchen and the table was placed with two settings. Mother was already seated and Thomas clambered up into his booster seat at his normal spot next to Mother. She took a drag off her cigarette and motioned vaguely to the floor without even looking at me.
Neatly situated on the linoleum was my dinner, not on a plate, but directly on the floor. A pork chop, scoop of mashed potatoes, and a small pile of peas. No utensils, either.
Thomas giggled with glee upon seeing my face.
“You have Mama's permission now to eat like a piggy, now. No hands! Piggies just use their face!” He stood up in his chair and reached out for Mother’s ash tray and flung it out over my meal, peppering my dinner with cigarette ash and butts.
"Oops! Piggies don't mind trash though, do they, Mama?” he giggled and the sound filled me with rage.
"No, they don't,” Mother replied coolly while maneuvering her ashtray back in place and carefully putting out her cigarette before saying prayer.
As angry as I was, I got down on my hands and knees and did my best at eating what I could without using my hands. I knew if I refused, it would be far worse. The whole meal, Thomas made pig noises and would reach down and poke me with his fork, making comments about what a fat piggy I was and how he wished he could roast and eat me. I doubted Mother would even object if he actually did kill me and eat me.
Gagging my way through another bite of ashy pork chop, I felt a warm splat over my head and heard Thomas giggling. I reached up and felt he had dumped mashed potatoes into my hair.
Choking down tears, I asked Mother if I could clean the floor and bathe. She rolled her eyes and excused me to clear the table for them as well while she changed Thomas into his pajamas. Picking him up, she walked out of the room and Thomas stuck his putrid little purple tongue out at me before they made it out the kitchen door.
I silently cried while I cleared the table and washed the dinner dishes. Tears splashed down as I mopped up the mess from my food on the floor. I hated how awful Thomas was. I hated how they treated me. Ever since Daddy died and Thomas showed up, I was their punching bag. I missed Daddy so much.
Mother was kinder then, too. She was still severe, but Dad kept her tempered. After he died, there was a change that came over her. I was only six, so I didn't remember her too much from before, but I did remember her gushing on and on when she was pregnant with Thomas. How the baby was a gift from Our Heavenly Father, that it was going to complete our broken family.
My sixth birthday happened right after Daddy died and I remember sitting on the patio crying while the house was full of people after the funeral, normally he would have gotten me a new doll and a chocolate bar, instead I was forgotten. No doll. No chocolate. Just funeral potatoes and a house full of cigarette smoke from the adults.
Nobody remembered. The closest thing I got was my dad's sister, Aunt Judy, sitting next to me on the patio step for a few minutes of comfortable silence before giving my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. I don't think she knew her brother was memorialized on my birthday. Next year, Thomas was born the day before my birthday, so it was completely eclipsed as Mother had just birthed her new love into the world…
I stopped mid mop as a lightbulb finally went off. I had never put much thought into the dates before.
Thomas was born a full year after Daddy died. He couldn't be his dad. Who was Thomas’ actual father?
Washing mashed potatoes out of my hair that evening, I ran over and over the timeline. No matter how I parsed it out, Thomas was only my half brother. Going to bed that night, I kept myself awake, going over and over again to make sure. I couldn't remember any men being around at that time, but that didn't mean much. Adults can easily hide things from children. Tension began throbbing through my head and I felt queasy. Mother had always known all of my secrets, able to sniff them out like a bloodhound out or using Thomas to spy. Now I had one of Mother's secrets and I didn't know what to do with it.
First I wanted to confirm it, but it would mean snooping, which was difficult in a house that was rarely left empty. I would have to try finding Mother's calendar book or journal to see if she mentioned any dates or men.
But when could I attempt such a daring maneuver? Thomas hardly left the house. As proud as Mother was of him, she was very cognizant and protective of his differences and didn't want to draw attention to herself or Thomas like that. Mother herself had few social engagements throughout the week and mostly stayed home to watch her golden child.
I finally decided I would take the risk and fake sick on Tuesday, grocery day, so I could stay home from school while she went shopping. All Thomas did all day was watch TV downstairs, so that should give me about an hour to look through her room for clues. I decided to tuck my head down, try to behave as best as I could to avoid their wrath, and wait for Tuesday.
That weekend limped along agonizingly slow. Thomas was in a fine mood and was constantly seeking out a reason to poke me, punch me, slap me… he'd laugh while calling me a piggy with his off-putting wide mouth. I tried to mostly stay in my room and it seemed like neither of them cared.
School on Monday was a relief, but my anxiety ramped up. The consequences would be dire if Mother caught on that I was faking sick to stay home. I didn't even want to imagine how off the leash she'd let my half-brother become in his punishment for that level of insubordination.
I stayed up all night, my stomach was in knots, but I was committed to my plan. Throughout the night, I screamed as hard as I could into my pillow. Screamed until my throat was raw and I could barely talk. It felt cathartic in a way. When it was close to school time, I put on my heaviest flannel pajamas and began doing jumping jacks until my face was flushed and my scalp was soaked with sweat.
Looking in the bathroom mirror before heading down to talk to Mother, I thought I looked pretty convincing, my skin was flushed and sweaty, my eyes had circles under them from lack of sleep, and my voice croaked like a frog.
Heading downstairs, Mother was already feeding Thomas breakfast. I hesitantly stepped into the kitchen and stood there awkwardly for a second, pawing with my pajamas to keep my nerves steady until she noticed my presence and looked up.
“Why aren't you dressed, Julianne?"
"I don't feel well. My throat hurts and my tummy hurts.” My voice graveled out more than I was expecting, I really had hurt my throat.
She strode over to me and placed a cool hand on my sweaty brow.
"You do feel warm. Take an aspirin from the medicine cabinet and go lay back down. I'll check on you later," with that she turned back and walked over to Thomas, who was frozen in place, glaring at me over a forkful of scrambled eggs. The sharp glint of malice in his beady eyes made me shiver before I shuffled out of the kitchen.
I laid in bed, trying my best to look miserable until I eventually heard the faint sound of the television playing in the den as Thomas settled in for his normal daytime routine and the garage door opened as Mother headed to the grocery store. I bounded out of bed and watched the car back out of our driveway and head up the street.
My heart began to pound as I tiptoed down the hall to Mother's bedroom, a place I rarely even caught a glimpse of, let alone entered. I very slowly opened the door, taking great care to not make any noise to alert Thomas downstairs that I was out of bed.
Creeping into the butter yellow room, I could feel my heartbeat pounding in my skull, this was the naughtiest thing I had ever done by far. I stepped onto the rug to help disguise my footsteps and slowly made my way past the brass bed and towards her desk. My hands shook as I opened the top drawer, I pawed through rapidly and found nothing. I checked the next drawer down and again found nothing of interest, just stationary and envelopes.
Finally, the bottom drawer was what I was looking for, a stack of journals from the past decade. I flipped through, trying to find entries relevant to when Daddy died and who Mother slept with afterwards.
I've never fully recovered from what I read.
July 6, 1968
Edgar died today. Car accident. I cannot believe this is real. My light, my life, my anchor... Dr. Benson gave me a sedative at the hospital and I feel so tired. So very, very tired. Why has my Lord forsaken me so?
July 9, 1968
I feel like I am in a very bad dream, I feel numb and disconnected. All the consolation and pity from everyone makes me feel sick. After the memorial, it took everything in me to not break dishes and to scream at everyone to get out of my house. Julianne was moping about crying and I wanted to throw her out, too.
If I hadn't seen my dear Edgar's body in the hospital and held his urn in my own hands, I wouldn't believe he was really gone. I still don't entirely believe it.
I have prayed to God every night asking him to show me why he took my husband from me and I have gotten no answer.
I skimmed over the next few months, as it was more or less similar sentiments repeated night after night. I finally got to an entry that caught my eye.
September 17, 1968
My battle with my faith has been fraught the past few months, but Hallelujah! I feel I can see the Lord again in all his glory and might, for he has given me a way to reconnect to my Edgar!
I was thinking about the night Julianne was born, right in this very home, it was a difficult birth and she struggled to breathe at first. Ingrid, my midwife, made a comment to me that if the baby had failed to wake up on her own, that Ingrid had ways to make sure she would have made it.
I remember asking if it was a medical methodology and she made it clear to me that in certain circumstances, it was a mystical property she used to bring the air of life into a struggling baby's lungs. She gently alluded to being a practicing member of the dark arts. At the time, I felt quite scandalized to have someone like that in my God fearing home. Now I see her as the answer to my prayers! My angel!
On a whim, I called her and asked if she still practiced such techniques. She hesitantly confirmed that she did. I asked, if she could turn breath into the lungs of a child without, could she turn breath into a child that did not exist? Could she magick into existence another child of my beloved Edgar? She told me she had to do some research and she'd be back in touch.
Ingrid just called back after a few hours and said there was a spell she found, but it was dangerous and might have unpleasant results. I said, yes, of course! I trust my Lord and I believe he sent this woman of blessed magick to me for this purpose.
She says we will have to do it soon, in a few days during the new moon. She has a potion to brew, but it is happening! Praise God!
September 23, 1968
The ceremony was last night, and Ingrid believes it was a success, but we will have to wait. It did not take long, only an hour or two. Ingrid lit my bedroom with many beeswax candles and she had me drink a thick and bitter tea that caused me to become quite relaxed and foggy.
From my inner thigh, she cut me and collected my blood in a chalice, with which she mixed quite a lot of Edgar's ashes and other ingredients which I could not glean from my supine position and groggy wits. Ingrid began to chant, calling upon a higher power, as I pleaded with my Lord to let this work. To give me any piece of my Edgar back. She came to the bed and worked the paste between my legs into my womanly chamber, which was very uncomfortable, but manageable with the numbing effects of the tea.
She continued to sit with me and chant, her hand placed over my womb, until she decided at which time it was complete. She left and I fell into a deep sleep. When I woke up this morning, I felt quite uncomfortable, my body ached and when I used the restroom, a yellow fluid like pus poured out of me, but no sign of any ashes or blood, which gives me hope it was absorbed into my womb.
November 3, 1968
Praise be to our Lord, Ingrid just confirmed for me that I am with child, I had been hoping so, I had not gotten my cycle in October, but I wasn't sure if that was because of the discharge like pus that was still coming. She told me that was common with this spell and a side effect that would stop after the baby came.
I feel like I am floating on air, for the first time since Edgar left, I feel-
I suddenly became very aware of the feeling of eyes on the back of my head. I had become too engrossed in what was written before me and I had lost track of my surroundings. Very slowly, I turned around and my heart began pounding again as I saw Thomas standing in the doorway holding his wooden spoon in one hand. How had I not heard him?
He pointed at me with his empty hand and screamed, just a pure guttural screech from somewhere deep inside his disgusting little body. He charged at me from across the room, his horrible feet thumping solidly along the rug. He began beating my legs ruthlessly with the spoon, causing my legs to buckle. I crashed down to my knees in front of him, and he began lashing at my face, pulling my hair with one hand while wailing away at my head with the spoon.
I had dropped the journal I was holding and was desperately trying to get a hand on the spoon or push him away. All I could hear was him screaming. My arms flailed and I reached around on Mother's desk and grabbed onto the first thing I found and sank it into Thomas’ neck.
The end of Mother's gold letter opener protruded under his jaw. He went silent and he looked at me with utter shock. He dropped the spoon and collapsed on the ground, clutching at his neck as his thick black blood oozed out from his wound, letting out a stupendous odor of rot that filled the room. He didn't really say anything or make any noise. He just twitched for a moment and I saw his eyes glaze over.
In shock, I stood over his little body for a moment and I watched as he seemed to mummify in just a few minutes, like an ash person from Pompeii dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt. Even his blood that looked like shiny oil a second ago became like potting soil on Mother's rug. Reaching out to touch his hand, it crumbled away like sand.
Panic ran through me like a rabbit caught in a snare. Not knowing what to do, I ran. I ran down the hall, changed my clothes, put an extra change of clothes in my backpack and the last doll Daddy had ever given me and I ran. Mother would absolutely never forgive me and I was genuinely afraid she would kill me in retaliation for taking her beloved Thomas away from her. Her precious gift from God. My feet flew over the pavement and took me away from that house.
I called my Aunt Judy from a payphone outside the five & dime, and told her Mother had kicked me out and asked if I could stay with her. She had always had a strained relationship with my mother and it didn't take much convincing that she had kicked out her “only” child. Only Mother, Ingrid, and I ever knew about Thomas.
She gave me a home and took care of me. She never beat me or humiliated me. Even with her love, I was far from okay. For years I would close my eyes and hear Thomas scream, then the sudden silence. I'd see him fumbling at his neck and turning to ash. But I would also remember all the ways he would hurt me and how bad he was becoming. I could never talk to anyone about it, especially not the silent relief I felt I refused to admit to myself. Over time, however, Thomas' screams became a whisper and his silence faded into dust in my mind.
I moved on with my life. I went to college and became a photojournalist, getting to travel the world and watch history unfold. By choice, I never married, but was quite blessed with many beautiful friendships for companionship over the decades. I found balance in my life and a sense of happiness, if not peace. I never could quite stomach mashed potatoes again, though, they always taste ashy to me.
Mother never made any attempts to reach out to me or find me, at least that I'm aware of. Ten years ago, I was contacted by a hospital and they said my mother had been admitted earlier after falling and was about to pass, so she must have kept some tabs on me to know my phone number for her emergency contacts. Apparently she had collapsed in the driveway and a neighbor called an ambulance. I got there and her only words to me were, “take care of him," as she placed a locket in my hand. I opened the locket, Jesus was on one side, Thomas on the other. I didn't say anything to her, just held her frail old hand with nicotine stained nails until she passed in the night. My mother was gone and I felt nothing except a vague sense of relief.
When I got to her house, it was like a time capsule. Other than a newer television, it was just like it was when I'd fled so many years ago. The smell of tobacco smoke hung like incense in the air. It felt oppressive, like a tomb.
I wandered the house in a bit of a daze. The one place I didn't want to go was upstairs. I didn't want to see my old room, or Thomas' room, or Mother's. Putting it off, I went to fix myself some supper, realizing I hadn't eaten in almost a day. I took a pause when I opened the fridge and saw a baby bottle on a shelf. Silently praying she had been babysitting for a neighbor, I fixed myself some toast with sardines and sat eating in the den watching TV. It had been almost forty years and it still felt rebellious not eating at the table and watching TV without permission.
My eyes grew heavy and I finally mustered up the gumption to head upstairs to go to bed. The stairs creaked in a familiar way under my feet and I was taken back to the feeling of dread hearing either Mother or Thomas climbing up. My old room was at the top of the stairs, I saw the door was nailed shut and had rambling quotes about Judas copied from the Bible in my mother's handwriting taped to the door. I sighed gently and turned from the door to head down the hallway, deciding Mother's room was probably the best place to sleep.
I passed by Thomas’ toy room and I heard a murmur from the room. I stopped, curiosity got the best of me and I entered. In Thomas' old toy room was a crib with joyful clown sheets. Dread swelled up inside me as I heard more murmurs and saw the sheets move. Approaching slowly, I peaked under the sheet and gasped.
Tucked inside was what looked like a baby gargoyle, gray and papery looking. Pus leaked out of its milky, bulbous eyes. I pulled back the blanket and saw it had no legs and its arms bent back, like wings on a bird. It was wearing just a cloth diaper, overflowing with tarry looking stool that took my breath away with its pungency, it smelled like Thomas’ blood, but somehow worse. My heart broke for this poor creature, Lord only knows how many years it has been in this crib suffering from its unholy existence.
So this is who Mother had wanted me to take care of…
Not knowing what else to do, I gently scooped him up. Like Thomas, he was shockingly heavy for how small his body was. Placing him on the changing table, I cleaned him and rewrapped his bottom in a clean diaper cloth. It was difficult, he fussed tremendously, crying and flopping around as much as his flipper-like arms would allow. I tried wiping off his oozing eyes and he snapped his mouth, which I saw was full of disturbingly square yellow teeth, trying to bite me. I carried him to the kitchen and rocked him while I heated up his bottle and he became furious with me, almost barking like a dog when my hand would get near his face.
He settled a bit as he fed, but he would still sometimes suddenly spit out the bottle and attempt to bite me. I laid him back in his crib, this abomination in a clown sheet, and I walked down the hall to Mother's room letting out a long sigh.
Combing through my mother's journals in the early hours of the morning, it looked like she tried the ceremony again shortly after Thomas died, but she either lacked Ingrid’s help or didn't have enough of my father's ashes left. Something went terribly wrong. She was vaguer than she had been about Thomas’ conception, but I suspect she had used some of Thomas' remains. The resulting birth she named Isaac.
Mother's journals told a sad tale of her and Isaac's suffering. She never mentioned me, but lamented the loss of Thomas and Dad relentlessly. She was hyper protective of Isaac, as that was all she had left. If her world had been small before, it became microscopic after he entered her life, requiring nearly constant care. According to Mother, he was blind and colicky, sometimes going years at a time without sleeping through the night. She had breast fed him for years, but she had to stop after he grew teeth and began biting her intentionally and feeding on her blood.
I spent a lot of time over the next few days pondering what to do. I had to get her estate in order, she had left me the house, in an obvious attempt to get me to continue caretaking for Isaac, but I didn't want it. I had my own cozy home an hour away from here, filled with happy memories and my possessions acquired traveling the world. Mother's home had a heavy energy I couldn't shake. Her and Thomas were both gone, but the memories of the scoldings and beatings hung in every corner, like cobwebs that would never sweep away.
So, I fed Isaac and kept him clean and tried to keep him company, although he seemed to hate me passionately. I took care of him, all the while thinking about what I was going to do. After a week, I felt resolute in what had to be done.
Gathering up all of Mother's journals in a tote, I made my way to Isaac and picked him up and carried everything to the living room.
The ancient logs in the fireplace meant for display ignited instantly. One by one, I fed the journals into the fire, burning away years of my mother's consuming sorrow. Isaac fussed and moaned next to me the entire time. When the last pages shimmered away into lacy ash, I took a throw pillow off the couch and gently cradled Isaac in my other arm. It didn't take long before he stopped struggling and I felt his little body relax after decades of suffering.
I gently wrapped up a bundle in a clown sheet and placed it in the fire. It burned furiously, like the paper in my mother's journals, and was soon gone. Nothing but ashes and embers.
“Don't worry, Mother,” I said purely for my own sake, "I took care of Isaac for you."
And finally, I felt at peace.

i have 3 siblings.
my two older brothers are over 8 years older than me and my little sister is 4 years younger than me.
my brothers physically abused me a bunch growing up, and since they’re so much older than me, we never had a chance to get close since i was still a child by the time they were full grown adults.
i really enjoyed spending time with my little sister though, but she doesn’t really enjoy spending time with me. she forced herself to hangout with me to make me happy, as i’ve had one of her friends admit to me while we were drinking that my sister feels bad for me sometimes and i can tell when she’s bored and not having a good time in my presence. the things that are fun to me aren’t fun to her but the things that are fun to her are fun to me too.
it was also so she could ask me to buy her and her friends alcohol after we hung out because she literally asked me every single time we hung out.
we’re so different and hardly share any of the same interests. she grew up as the “popular” outgoing person with friend groups archetype, as did my older brothers, and i grew up a full blown loner.
our mom died when my sister and i were very young children and my sister has a different father than me and my older brothers so we were separated. we weren’t raised together at all, my sister and i are related by blood but raised in two completely different lifestyles and two completely different families. we hardly saw each other throughout our childhood, even missing some of each other’s birthdays.
she has a brother from her father and they were raised together and are so much closer than we ever were or i ever was with my older brothers. i’m so sad about what i’ve missed out on.
in the past couple years since she’s become of age, we’ve tried to mend the sisterhood but a situation happened recently where i had to tell her to stop using me to buy her and her friends alcohol and things because that’s all she really ever talked to me for after a while, and it was making me feel so awful because i felt like i had to keep giving and giving and giving or else she wouldn’t want me around…
and now all hope of a friendship is lost, as she no longer texts me, no longer interacts with my social media, took me off of her private story on snapchat, doesn’t send me videos/pictures anymore, no longer wishes me happy holidays, etc.
i have 3 siblings and not a single one of them is my friend. if you can’t even fall back on blood, who else do you have in this world?
i feel so alone. i feel like i was raised like an only child even though i have 3 siblings. i mean, my brothers had each other, my sister had her brother, and i had noone. i feel like i’m the problem. does anybody have any advice on working through this? is it normal to feel this way?

I left ten Mormonism years ago - resigned. I had two adult children when I left. Their mother and I divorced, then I resigned. Zero contact from them since leaving - birthdays, holidays, you name it. Nada. I reached out many times - never got a reply - but I decided that the pain of not hearing back wasn’t worth it anymore, so I stopped writing two years ago. Apparently I have a grandson, according to Instagram. He’s six. His mom (my daughter) stopped posting pictures of him so now I don’t even know what he looks like. No idea where my children live or what they’re doing. My therapist says I have “ambiguous loss” and “complicated grief.” My life is good now, though. I’m married, happily now, I’m a much better man than I ever was as a Mormon. This thing about my kids - it’s tough. I’ve never met another man like me whose children are estranged like this. Damn, I wish I had the chance to be a grandfather. I really miss my children. I’m not looking for answers. I just needed to tell some folks who might understand.

CANCER ZODIAC GETS MYSTERIOUS SURPRISE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXMEaNCO7FU
cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac dates
10 things about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac traits
cancer zodiac personality
cancer zodiac symbol
cancer zodiac month
cancer zodiac tattoo
cancer zodiac characteristics
cancer zodiac facts
cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac animal
cancer zodiac and capricorn
cancer zodiac art
cancer zodiac aesthetic
cancer zodiac air sign
cancer zodiac astrology
cancer zodiac attributes
cancer zodiac and scorpio
cancer zodiac and aries
cancer zodiac and aquarius
about cancer zodiac sign
all about cancer zodiac
are cancer zodiac dangerous
about cancer zodiac sign girl
age of cancer zodiac
attributes of cancer zodiac sign
after cancer zodiac
animal for cancer zodiac sign
anime characters cancer zodiac
aries and cancer zodiac sign compatibility
cancer zodiac birthday
cancer zodiac bad traits
cancer zodiac birthstone
cancer zodiac best match
cancer zodiac birth dates
cancer zodiac body part
cancer zodiac background
cancer zodiac bracelet
cancer zodiac best friends
cancer zodiac baby girl
best crystals for cancer zodiac
bad things about cancer zodiac
boy cancer zodiac
best match for cancer zodiac
birthday wishes for cancer zodiac
best color for cancer zodiac
best job for cancer zodiac
best stone for cancer zodiac
birthstone for cancer zodiac
bracelet for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac compatibility
cancer zodiac color
cancer zodiac celebrities
cancer zodiac constellation
cancer zodiac crystals
cancer zodiac color palette
cancer zodiac characteristics female
cancer zodiac compatibility chart
cancer zodiac chinese
cancer zodiac sign dates
cancer zodiac dates range
cancer zodiac description
cancer zodiac days
cancer zodiac demon
cancer zodiac drawing
cancer zodiac daily
cancer zodiac dates 2024
cancer zodiac dogs
cancer zodiac dark side
definition of cancer zodiac sign
dates for cancer zodiac sign
dark side of cancer zodiac signs
dragon cancer zodiac
different types of cancer zodiac
demon cancer zodiac
does cancer zodiac have anger issues
description of cancer zodiac sign
double cancer zodiac
diamond for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac element
cancer zodiac emoji
cancer zodiac enemies
cancer zodiac explained
cancer zodiac earrings
cancer zodiac energy
cancer zodiac ear piercing
cancer zodiac eyes
cancer zodiac español
cancer zodiac emotionally manipulative
everything about cancer zodiac
evolved cancer zodiac
element of cancer zodiac
evil cancer zodiac
enemy of cancer zodiac
emerald for cancer zodiac
easy cancer zodiac drawing
emotional cancer zodiac
explain cancer zodiac sign
everything you need to know about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac flower
cancer zodiac flower tattoo
cancer zodiac for today
cancer zodiac female
cancer zodiac favorite color
cancer zodiac famous people
cancer zodiac fire sign
cancer zodiac friends
cancer zodiac facts male
facts about cancer zodiac sign
facts about cancer zodiac woman
fun facts about cancer zodiac
famous cancer zodiac
flower for cancer zodiac
facts about cancer zodiac man
features of cancer zodiac sign
female cancer zodiac sign
friends of cancer zodiac
funny cancer zodiac quotes
cancer zodiac girl
cancer zodiac gemstone
cancer zodiac greek god
cancer zodiac god
cancer zodiac goddess
cancer zodiac gif
cancer zodiac gem
cancer zodiac good and bad traits
cancer zodiac good in bed
cancer zodiac gifts
good things about cancer zodiac
geek bar cancer zodiac flavor
gemstone for cancer zodiac
girl cancer zodiac
gifts for cancer zodiac man
gifts for cancer zodiac woman
gemstone for cancer zodiac sign
girly cancer zodiac tattoo
god of cancer zodiac
gem for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac horoscope today
cancer zodiac horoscope
cancer zodiac health problems
cancer zodiac horoscope 2024
cancer zodiac history
cancer zodiac house
cancer zodiac hand tattoo
cancer zodiac hair color
cancer zodiac hoodie
cancer zodiac humor
how rare is cancer zodiac sign
happy birthday cancer zodiac
how is cancer zodiac sign
how dangerous is cancer zodiac
how to be friends with a cancer zodiac
how will cancer zodiac die
how to deal with cancer zodiac sign
healing crystals for cancer zodiac
habits of cancer zodiac
herbs for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac in hindi
cancer zodiac in chinese
cancer zodiac images
cancer zodiac in telugu
cancer zodiac info
cancer zodiac in spanish
cancer zodiac is what month
cancer zodiac in relationships
cancer zodiac information
cancer zodiac in 2024
is cancer zodiac dangerous
interesting facts about cancer zodiac
is cancer zodiac rare
information about cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac rich or poor
instagram bio for cancer zodiac
images of cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac sign lucky
indian celebrities with cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac a water sign
cancer zodiac jewelry
cancer zodiac jobs
cancer zodiac july
cancer zodiac june
cancer zodiac january 2024
cancer zodiac june 21
cancer zodiac japanese
cancer zodiac july 22
cancer zodiac june 27
cancer zodiac july 16
july cancer zodiac
jobs for cancer zodiac
june cancer zodiac sign
july cancer zodiac traits
jewelry for cancer zodiac
june cancer zodiac personality
june cancer zodiac traits
june vs july cancer zodiac
july birthday cancer zodiac
jade for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac kids
cancer zodiac keywords
cancer zodiac keychain
cancer zodiac kpop idols
cancer zodiac killers
cancer zodiac karma
cancer zodiac know for
cancer zodiac keyboard symbol
cancer zodiac child
cancer zodiac knight
kpop idols cancer zodiac
kpop idols who have cancer zodiac sign
korean actors cancer zodiac
korean celebrities with cancer zodiac sign
katangian ng cancer zodiac
karaang napta cancer zodiac sign
karma cancer zodiac
what kind of person is cancer zodiac sign
things to know about cancer zodiac
everything to know about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac lucky numbers
cancer zodiac love
cancer zodiac logo
cancer zodiac love language
cancer zodiac lucky colors
cancer zodiac love compatibility
cancer zodiac libra
cancer zodiac lips
cancer zodiac least compatibility
cancer zodiac leo
lucky stone for cancer zodiac sign
logo cancer zodiac
leo and cancer zodiac sign
lucky color for cancer zodiac
lucky wallpaper for cancer zodiac
lucky number for cancer zodiac sign
lunar eclipse effect on cancer zodiac
libra and cancer zodiac sign compatibility
last day of cancer zodiac
love life of cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac meaning
cancer zodiac men
cancer zodiac memes
cancer zodiac match
cancer zodiac month dates
cancer zodiac moon sign
cancer zodiac moon
cancer zodiac meaning male
cancer zodiac meaning female
meaning of cancer zodiac sign
male cancer zodiac
meaningful cancer zodiac tattoo
more about cancer zodiac sign
month of cancer zodiac sign
moonstone for cancer zodiac
month of cancer zodiac
male cancer zodiac tattoo
match for cancer zodiac
mlbb cancer zodiac skin
cancer zodiac necklace
cancer zodiac negative traits
cancer zodiac number
cancer zodiac names
cancer zodiac nails
cancer zodiac nail designs
cancer zodiac nicknames
cancer zodiac necklace gold
cancer zodiac neck tattoo
cancer zodiac necklace silver
nicknames for cancer zodiac
names for cancer zodiac girl
nature of cancer zodiac sign
names for cancer zodiac boy
negatives of cancer zodiac
nature of cancer zodiac
number for cancer zodiac
nba players cancer zodiac
names related to cancer zodiac
next to cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac outfits
cancer zodiac origin
cancer zodiac opposite
cancer zodiac opposite sign
cancer zodiac overview
cancer zodiac of the day
cancer zodiac oc
cancer zodiac origin story
cancer zodiac occupations
cancer zodiac other names
opposite of cancer zodiac
one word to describe cancer zodiac
other names for cancer zodiac
outfits for cancer zodiac sign
opal for cancer zodiac
one piece cancer zodiac
october cancer zodiac
onyx for cancer zodiac
another word for cancer zodiac
ox cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac personality traits
cancer zodiac planet
cancer zodiac personality female
cancer zodiac personality male
cancer zodiac pictures
cancer zodiac powers
cancer zodiac pros and cons
cancer zodiac pendant
cancer zodiac power color
personality of cancer zodiac sign
picture of cancer zodiac sign
pros and cons of cancer zodiac
pictures of cancer zodiac sign girl
planet for cancer zodiac
pisces and cancer zodiac sign
power of cancer zodiac sign
pearl for cancer zodiac
peacock cancer zodiac
perfect match for cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac quotes
cancer zodiac qualities
cancer zodiac quotes funny
cancer zodiac quiz
cancer zodiac questions
cancer zodiac quote of the day
cancer zodiac quiet
cancer zodiac quiz buzzfeed
cancer zodiac quora
cancer zodiac queen
qualities of cancer zodiac sign
qualities of a cancer zodiac
quotes about cancer zodiac
questions to ask a cancer zodiac
quotes for cancer zodiac sign
quiet cancer zodiac
questions for cancer zodiac
questions to ask a cancer zodiac sign
quiz for cancer zodiac
quora cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac reading
cancer zodiac red flags
cancer zodiac reading today
cancer zodiac ruling planet
cancer zodiac rising sign
cancer zodiac relationship
cancer zodiac reddit
cancer zodiac ring
cancer zodiac range
cancer zodiac rappers
ring for cancer zodiac
ruby for cancer zodiac
rabbit cancer zodiac
red flag cancer zodiac
rappers that are cancer zodiac sign
real cancer zodiac facts
rat cancer zodiac
ruling planet of cancer zodiac sign
random facts about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac sign traits
cancer zodiac sign meaning
cancer zodiac sign month
cancer zodiac stone
cancer zodiac soulmate
cancer zodiac sign compatibility
cancer zodiac sign tattoo
sign of cancer zodiac
stones for cancer zodiac
symbol for cancer zodiac
stone for cancer zodiac sign
symbol of cancer zodiac sign
scary facts about cancer zodiac
serial killers with cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac tattoo ideas
cancer zodiac today
cancer zodiac tattoos for females
cancer zodiac traits female
cancer zodiac traits male
cancer zodiac tattoos for guys
cancer zodiac tarot card
cancer zodiac type
traits of cancer zodiac
things about cancer zodiac sign
tattoo cancer zodiac
types of cancer zodiac
tattoo ideas for cancer zodiac
the meaning of cancer zodiac sign
tattoo cancer zodiac sign
today cancer zodiac
today cancer zodiac sign
today's cancer zodiac horoscope
cancer zodiac urban dictionary
cancer zodiac usernames
cancer zodiac upset
cancer zodiac usa today
cancer zodiac usernames for instagram
cancer zodiac unlucky numbers
cancer zodiac unlucky color
cancer zodiac urdu
cancer zodiac unique facts
cancer zodiac unlucky
unique cancer zodiac tattoos
unique cancer zodiac tattoos for females
ugali ng cancer zodiac sign
understanding cancer zodiac
username for cancer zodiac
urban dictionary cancer zodiac sign
unhealthy cancer zodiac
usa today cancer zodiac
unknown facts about cancer zodiac
unlucky colour for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac virgo
cancer zodiac vape
cancer zodiac vibes
cancer zodiac videos
cancer zodiac vs scorpio
cancer zodiac vs leo
cancer zodiac venus
cancer zodiac vector
cancer zodiac vs gemini
cancer zodiac vindictive
virgo and cancer zodiac sign
vans cancer zodiac
virgo and cancer zodiac
villains cancer zodiac
vintage cancer zodiac
vintage cancer zodiac charm
venus in cancer zodiac
van cleef zodiac pendant cancer
cancer zodiac in vietnamese
cancer zodiac water sign
cancer zodiac weakness
cancer zodiac woman
cancer zodiac wallpaper
cancer zodiac what month
cancer zodiac water or fire
cancer zodiac worst match
cancer zodiac worst traits
cancer zodiac when mad
cancer zodiac wallpaper aesthetic
what is a cancer zodiac
what month is cancer zodiac sign
what month is cancer zodiac
what color is cancer zodiac
weakness of cancer zodiac
what are the traits of a cancer zodiac sign
what is the meaning of cancer zodiac sign
woman cancer zodiac
what is a cancer zodiac animal
what is good about cancer zodiac sign
cancer x zodiac
zodiac cancer x gemini
astrology cancer x capricorn
cancer zodiac letters
cancer x
cancer x cancer zodiac compatibility
cancer x cancer zodiac
zodiak taurus x cancer
what sign are cancer
x cancer
cancer zodiac year 2024
cancer zodiac yin yang
cancer zodiac year
cancer zodiac yin or yang
cancer zodiac yesterday
cancer zodiac year of dragon
what are cancer zodiac signs
year 2024 for cancer zodiac
yin yang cancer zodiac
year of the dragon for cancer zodiac sign
year of cancer zodiac
youtubers with cancer zodiac
year 2023 for cancer zodiac sign
year of the dragon for cancer zodiac
what year is cancer zodiac sign
what does it mean if you are a cancer zodiac
how to know if your a cancer zodiac sign
cancer astrology zone
cancer zodiac pisces zodiac
why are zodiac cancers so dangerous
cancer about zodiac
cancer zodiac in chinese zodiac
cancer zodiac zodiac
cancer sheep zodiac
zodiac cancer characteristics
zodiac cancer celebrities
zodiac cancer child
zodiac cancer chart
cancer horoscope 0800
cancer zodiac july 07
horoscope cancer 09 juin 2023
are cancers good for cancers
are cancers lucky
cancer sun 0 degrees
cancer 0 degrees
what are cancers sign
why are cancers called cancer
why is cancer called cancer zodiac
what represents cancer zodiac
0 degree cancer astrology
0 degree cancer
0 cancer
cancer zodiac 15 year cycle
cancer zodiac 10 things
cancer zodiac 10
cancer zodiac 18k
cancer zodiac 15th birthday
cancer 101 zodiac
zodiac cancer 16
cancer horoscope 19 march 2024
cancer horoscope 13 december 2023
cancer horoscope 11 march 2024
10 bad things about cancer zodiac
10 things about cancer zodiac male
10 things about cancer zodiac female
100 facts about cancer zodiac
10 facts about cancer zodiac
10 good things about cancer zodiac
10 interesting facts about cancer zodiac
10 facts about cancer zodiac sign
14k gold cancer zodiac necklace
cancer zodiac 2024
cancer zodiac 2024 prediction
cancer zodiac 2023
cancer zodiac 2025
cancer zodiac 2024 january
cancer zodiac 2024 career
cancer zodiac 2023 predictions
cancer zodiac 2024 in hindi
cancer zodiac 2024 march
cancer zodiac 2023 horoscope
2024 for cancer zodiac
2 types of cancer zodiac
2025 for cancer zodiac
20 facts about cancer zodiac
2026 for cancer zodiac
2023 for cancer zodiac
2023 cancer zodiac predictions
2024 prediction for cancer zodiac
2024 lucky color for cancer zodiac sign
2024 color of the year for cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac 3 stages
cancer zodiac 3 types
cancer zodiac 3 signs
cancer 3 zodiac
cancer horoscope 31 january 2024
cancer horoscope 30 march 2024
cancer horoscope 31 july 2023
cancer horoscope 30 march 2023
cancer horoscope 30 august 2023
cancer horoscope 30 november 2023
3 types of cancer zodiac
3 stages of cancer zodiac
3 words to describe cancer zodiac
3 facts about cancer zodiac
3 different types of cancer zodiac
3d cancer zodiac sign
3 fun facts about cancer zodiac
august 31 zodiac sign compatibility with cancer
cancer june 30 zodiac sign
cancer zodiac june 30
cancer horoscope 4 march 2024
cancer horoscope 4 april 2024
cancer horoscope 4 may 2023
cancer horoscope 4 january 2024
cancer horoscope 4 october 2023
cancer horoscope 4 april 2023
cancer horoscope 4 september 2023
cancer horoscope 4th december 2023
cancer horoscope 4 july 2023
cancer horoscope 4 june 2023
4 types of cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac wallpaper 4k
cancer zodiac july 4
zodiac sign of cancer 4 letters
what do cancer zodiac sign mean
cancer zodiac rules
4 cancers
zodiac cancer types
cancer horoscope 5 march 2024
cancer horoscope 5 april 2024
cancer horoscope 5 october 2023
cancer horoscope 5 april 2023
cancer horoscope 5 june 2023
cancer horoscope 5 july 2023
cancer horoscope 5 january 2024
cancer horoscope 5 may 2023
cancer horoscope 5 february 2024
cancer horoscope 5 december 2023
5 facts about cancer zodiac
50 cent is a cancer zodiac
50 cent zodiac sign cancer
cancer 5th house zodiac
cancer zodiac sign july 5
cancer zodiac july 5
june 5 zodiac sign cancer
5 cancers
cancer zodiac 69
cancer zodiac 69 tattoo
cancer zodiac 69 meaning
cancer horoscope 6 march 2024
cancer horoscope 6 july 2023
cancer horoscope 6 april 2023
cancer horoscope 6 december 2023
cancer horoscope 6 october 2023
cancer horoscope 6 june 2023
cancer horoscope 6 september 2023
69 cancer zodiac
meaning of cancer zodiac sign 69
cancer zodiac july 6
what does the 69 mean for cancer
cancer born on july 6
cancer big 6 astrology
69 cancer sign
6 cancer causing foods
cancer horoscope 7 march 2024
cancer horoscope 7 may 2023
cancer horoscope 7 september 2023
cancer horoscope 7 july 2023
cancer horoscope 7 june 2023
cancer horoscope 7th may 2023
cancer horoscope 7 november 2023
cancer horoscope 7 august 2023
cancer horoscope 7 april 2023
cancer horoscope 7 february 2024
cancer zodiac july 7
cancer horoscope 8 march 2024
cancer horoscope 8 january 2024
cancer horoscope 8 may 2023
cancer horoscope 8 september 2023
cancer horoscope 8 june 2023
cancer horoscope 8 april 2023
cancer horoscope 8 august 2023
cancer horoscope 8 december 2023
cancer horoscope 8 november 2023
cancer horoscope 8th march 2024
july 8th cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac july 8
signo zodiacal cancer julio 8
what flower represents cancer zodiac
why cancer is dangerous zodiac
what gifts do cancers like
cancer 8h
cancer horoscope 9 june 2023
cancer horoscope 9 may 2023
cancer horoscope 9 march 2024
cancer horoscope 9 january 2024
cancer horoscope 9 april 2023
cancer horoscope 9 october 2023
cancer horoscope 9 september 2023
cancer horoscope 9 november 2023
cancer horoscope 9 august 2023
cancer horoscope 9th april 2023
9 cancer zodiac sign
july 9 zodiac sign cancer
cancer zodiac july 9
what do cancer look like zodiac
what does cancer hate zodiac
9 cancer symptoms
what cancer zodiac sign
what cancer zodiac sign means

🍇.+ introduction +.🍇

i know i mostly give a lot of informative based shifting posts and i absolutely love doing that, however, i also genuinely find shifting to be one of my main hobbies. and so, i decided to take it upon myself to write about and share with all of you my drs. some fandom, some based within this dr, and some all over the place!
i will include scripts, relationships, personality, time, and duration. i do have some that i plan but have not yet shifted to however i am only including the ones i have shifted to as the ones i would like to shift to are just wishful thinking and not me actively trying to shift there. though, i may make a separate post about drs that i desire to shift to one day.
this post will be also talking about drs that i shifted to in the past as well going in chronological order.
side note; when i talk about time spent in dr, i mean how long i spent in it in total. when i use a date like xxxx-xxxx**, i am talking about in this time period. how long it was since i had scripted and focused on this dr for. there will be plenty of overlap here.

๋࣭ ୨🪞୧ ๋࣭ waiting room ๋࣭ ୨🪞୧ ๋࣭

november 2021 - now (with a two year break in between)
time spent in dr; six months
i honestly don't use this dr as much since my forest dr is much more nicer to relax in. i never used my waiting room for its original purpose. my waiting room was small with multiple doors surrounding it. it was more cozy though some would consider it claustrophobic.
the waiting room itself was my bedroom. for context, my bedroom has a walk in closet. inside that walk in closet is my dr. inside that closet is my waiting room where it is not a closet. honestly, idk why i didn't just permashift there but i find the process of shifting to be very relaxing for me as well haha.
it still has my other drs that i used to shift to but don't anymore. i just don't open the doors to it cuz i'm too focused on two of them. one that i don't even shift to the waiting room to and one that i do shift to it.
i shifted here using the raven method the first time and later the adhd method.

𓍢ִ໋🎧♫⋆｡ k-pop dr 𓍢ִ໋🎧♫⋆｡

december 2021 - october 2022
time spent in dr; five years
i have talked about this dr of mine before in a couple of comments and i think maybe a post. i haven't really blabbed about all of it. i remember about it just as a memory. i never dreamed in that reality though simply because it is hard for me to dream in this reality too and i never cared to script in 'i can dream in this reality.' however, now i make it a point to add that in.
i did not spend five years straight. it would make me too disoriented. i shifted to it consistently for a total of five years.
my k-pop group was pretty small tbh. at least compared to other groups i listen to. i scripted that i would not know who was in my group and i would find out after auditions and meeting them for the first time. we had five members and it was pretty average. it was not crazy popular but it wasn't very small either. it was one of the most successful of our record company though.
we were a mixed gender k-pop group. meaning some girls, two guys, and me, agender nonbinary. each member had a separate persona. i will give a quick run down of each member, their persona, and my relationship with them. though i was close with all of them. it's just that i was closer with some more than others.
♫⋆｡♫⋆｡♫⋆｡♫⋆｡♫⋆｡♫⋆｡♫⋆｡♫⋆｡♫⋆｡
we had me, i suppose you can call me tato since that was the name i had in that dr. i was known as the nerdy one. the smart one who would info dump and talk very formally while most of the members talked casual. i was mostly a dancer but also was good back up vocals.
my best friend was the pessimistic black cat of the group. i knew her from training and we grew close since then. i give her a five out of five on the closeness scale. her name was ga-young. she is a tan skinned korean girl. she was dancer and singer.
the bubbly girl. she sometimes acted bratty for the sake of cuteness. the cute bubbly girl was used interchangeably for her. she's very sweet both on and off stage. all of the group members were. she probably had the highest social media following due to her aesthetic photos and content. all of them looked like they belonged on pinterest. she was also makeup savvy and had a lot of skin care so got many promos and sponsorships from that. her name was banyen and she was an international idol from thailand!
then we have the soft girl of the group. her name was jae-eun. she was pretty short and kinda chubby but very shy and soft spoken. she was main singer and rapper.
the tough boy. his name was shik. shik is a sweet heart off stage. one of the rappers and dancers. he was actually pretty soft outside of his persona.
the jokester. another boy of the group. he was half black half korean. i found him to be very nice. he did struggle in the industry in the beginning but his mother had connections made through networking that allowed him to make it into the group. he hopes to have a solo career one day under a bigger company. his name is hwan. he was one of the main dancers and main vocals.
♫⋆｡♫⋆｡♫⋆｡♫⋆｡♫⋆｡♫⋆｡♫⋆｡♫⋆｡♫⋆｡
some basics of this dr are that stalkers, sasaengs, diet culture, and general toxicity in k-pop do not exist. i do not wish to deal with the drama and struggles of that and hate to see other idols go through it. i did not want for my friends to go through the same as well. he did not get one however across the five years though. i scripted that i spoke korean and english.
also those were the only things i ever scripted about this dr. i wanted it to be as exciting as possible so everything was left up to chance.
i shifted to this reality using the adhd method.

🌊˚.༄ h2o dr 🌊˚.༄

july 2022 - october 2022
time spent in dr; seven months
i don't often see people write down, talk about, or script this dr. this was my very first fandom drs. even though k-pop itself is a fandom, i personally would not consider it a fandom based dr since it does not belong to any specific group, just the general industry of it.
i got the idea for this reality because i was in a summery mood at the time and binge watched this show and mako mermaids with my cousin on his birthday. we watched this show together and i came up with the idea lol. after that, i kept it going for a little bit longer in my dr until i kinda forgot about it. i was honestly too tired switching between this dr and my k-pop dr and another dr on top of this and decided to take a break with this one. i may revisit it. i still have the script in a google doc.
my merfolk power was substanciakinesis. this granted me the ability to harden water almost as if it was like glass or crystallized. it would be strong, sturdy, and indestructible. if i so choose, i can let it revert back to water after a bit, or keep it crystal like forever.
a bit of a con about this reality was that it was actually pretty annoying. that and having to keep such a secret. i did have some lore to it however. it is a coming of age thing when someone in the family turns thirteen. i shifted to when i was thirteen and did the ceremony then shifted again the next time to when i was seventeen to eighteen as that was my age at the time. i had a single dad that i lived with and one ten year old sister who was later fourteen in the story. she was really sweet and honestly i miss her.
i will say though that the powers made it worth it. the ability to breathe underwater is honestly so cool and such a strange sensation. like you don't take notice on how strange a sensation it is to breathe air either until you've breathed underwater in a dr where you can.
i also shifted to this reality using the adhd method.

˗ˏˋ꒰ 📝 ꒱ hogwarts dr ˗ˏˋ꒰ 📝 ꒱

february 2022 - february 2022
time spent in dr; one week
i wasn't even a fan of harry potter haha. i just shifted there because everyone else was and i decided 'hey, why not?' and such.
to decide what house i would script myself into and get sorted in, i went onto a buzzfeed quiz of which house i was. i got ravenclaw and therefore, i was a ravenclaw. i didn't associate myself with the cast too much aside from the teachers and professors because i kinda had to there. the food was pretty good though even if it was kinda out there. it was fun while it lasted but honestly it felt so crowded and overwhelming to me and i'm unsure why. i guess because of the classes that i had to take.
i only shifted there once.
i shifted to this reality using my waiting room.

☄. *. ⋆ alien dr ☄. *. ⋆

march 2022 - april 2022
time spent in dr; three months
this was the last dr i shifted to before my shifting break. it was a pretty fun one. my main ability was anti gravity. alien me in this dr is slightly humanoid. in most of my drs, i look like how i look in this reality here but for this one, i looked much more different and dressed even more different. it was a cultural based clothes for the home planet i was from. think kinda star wars based but not a star wars inspired reality.
in my dr, i had antennas which basically acted as eyes to see from 360 degrees. hair isn't hair but made from a liquidy slime of bright neons. the neons change colors depending on emotions.
though i did spent quite a while in this reality, i don't have too much to say about it. this is because the most i can say is just different greetings, food, and general culture from aliens than humans. it's from another galaxy and obviously planet. and life span on this planet is much longer. we are more durable than humans.
when an alien passes away, their energy becomes one with the stars, turning into star dust and watching over their people.
i shifted to this reality using my waiting room.

💥✧࿐ mha/bnha dr 💥 ✧࿐

april 2024 - now
time spent in dr; twelve days
this was my first shift i did since my two year break! well, technically it was my waiting room but i used my waiting room to shift here immediately after and spent a week there.
i plan on going back to it but not much of my script was done to it yet. i prefer to be spontaneous in my scripting and just choose to cover the basics. i don't even script future upcoming events.
i'll be honest, it was a bit trippy having this as my first animated dr ever. if felt so real but the lines surrounding my hands made it all feel crazy. i think next time i will try realistic instead, haha.
my quirk in this reality is prediction. i can predict the actions and attacks of my opponent. think of it like the attacks in the video game undertale. a warning sign shows up for certain attacks that alerts the player to move out of the way.
one of my friends in this dr's quirk is extensions. her nails can grow into sharp nail extensions that cut like steel.
i am in the hero class of class 3a along with the big three. we spend a lot of time together. i am closer with nijere since she's the most friendly of them.
i shifted to this reality using my waiting room which i shifted from using the astral projection method.

⋆｡ﾟ🌖 wolfblood dr 🌖 ﾟ｡⋆

april 2024 - now
time spent in dr; eight months four months each shift
wolfblood is an english/british teen drama live action series about what are essentially werewolves known as wolfbloods. a wolfblood is born human and looks human up until a certain age and moon. once they reach that age, their blood changes and they become a wolf. they can then interchange between wolf and human however they please except on a full moon. unless of course it is a blood moon. on a blood moon, a wolfblood looks the exact same except their mind transforms.
there's no unique feature of a wolfblood. they can be any race, religion, etc. the thing that holds them all together is being a wolfblood. in my dr.
in my dr, i looked the exact same as here. i came from a small family of wolfbloods. i decided to take my family in my h2o reality and put them here as well. it has a similar coming of age theme. at a certain age, a wolfblood transforms just as in my h2o dr, once you are a certain age, you can go and become a merfolk. in this dr, i lived in england my entire life there and attend the same school as the main cast. however, i am not friends with the main cast nor enemies.
i can sense something is up with them as they act weird in class but can't put my finger on it. i scripted it so i was unaware of the identities on my peers.

‧₊˚🌿 forest dr ‧₊˚🌿

april 2024 - now
time spent in dr; two months
copying this from a previous post here, don't mind me.
'so a bit about my dr that i am shifting to. it is not any fandom related dr but instead an alternate reality where i live in the forest in an advanced tree house. think of the houses in trees type. i spend a lot of time there meditating, practicing spells, and spending time with the animals there but especially wolves. i still have internet connection but irl i don't live close to nature so this is just perfect for me. i'm happy in both this reality and my dr. i switch between the two whenever i feel like it.'
i also shifted to this one first astral projecting. but now i just meditate until i shift. when i shift, i am also in the same meditating position as well. i wanted this to instead be connected to my waiting room, to become a sort of escapism for myself. just in a different way.
you can see the posts i made about the outfits that i wear in this dr here if you want! you can also see more of my outfits in that reality here as well. :)
i shifted to this reality using my meditation method.

⋆🔗 ˚⟡˖ ࣪ conclusion ⋆ ˚⟡˖ ࣪🔗

this is all i have for today! i hope you enjoyed it. perhaps this gave you all motivation or some scripting and reality ideas. i may have forgotten some things to include and add. apologies if some stuff didn't make sense. i hope you enjoyed the read though!
i will say this as well and leave you off with some general scripting ideas
: ̗̀➛ you cannot die
: ̗̀➛ you cannot get hurt
: ̗̀➛ you always get a good night sleep
: ̗̀➛ if you have chronic illnesses like me, you can script that your chronic illnesses are more manageable or you simply just don't have it.
that is all i have for now and happy shifting! ᥫ᭡