I'm a 19 year old male and I constantly have thoughts that I have missed a big part of my life because of of having extremely little contact with my age women.
I believe that I can talk to girls just fine (one on one especially) but I dont find myself being in a situation around girls naturally and having a chance to do so. The feeling that nobody likes me, doesn't want me, although I dont view myself as ugly I think quite the opposite. Then it comes down to my personality right...
Like I have courage because I have met with like 3 almost total stranger girls ( through snapchat lol) to do some activities etc but all of them were a one or two-time meet basically.
Since middle school I have grown apart from girls i dont know the reason for (porn?) and havent made any female friends. Although when I was younger until age 7 my bestfriend was a girl who was very close to me, until we moved and grew apart.
I know I should just wait for it to come naturally but meanwhile the thought of it is causing me sadness/depression - feelings that other people my age have experienced more than I have.
I need constant reassurance in my head that it will get better and there are people like me everywhere who don't have social circles with women going to beaches, houseparties etc.
I really don't know how to communicate this better, it just makes me feel like I have wasted my life in these terms. I don't want to be a 40 year old man when i experience my first kiss. I havent experienced anything remotely romantical (except a hug) with any girl.
Even a girl from my new class who i have known for 3 years and have had sufficient contact with her, i still feel awkward when approaching her.
Man being socially anxious is tough

My mom and I have been screaming at each other for the past 4 days because she is insisting that I must find a roommate for college. I have talked to about 10 people already and they have either ended in ghosting, an agreement that the two of us would be better of friends, or them deciding to stay with someone else.
To the average college freshman I’m a pretty undesirable roommate. I go to bed around 9:30 PM so I can get up for swim practice at 6 AM (something that will continue in college) and I don’t really like to party. I’m not going to a school where there’s tons of athletes, so it’s been hard to find someone who will also fit my schedule.
A few days ago, my mom saw this other mom’s Facebook post about her daughter wanting to find a roommate. Despite the fact that I asked my mom to not get involved in the roommate process multiple times, she just couldn’t help herself.
I decided a long time ago that I wanted to have a randomly selected roommate. It saves me time and energy. Plus, if it turns out we aren’t compatible, we can go our separate ways. Since my mom connected with this other mom, she has been driving me insane about connecting with this woman’s daughter.
Just to get my mom off my back, we exchanged a couple of Instagram messages, but it was very clear to me that this girl was not looking for compatibility, but just to get the process over with. She also came across as a little judgmental of some of my responses. My mom is insisting that I don’t know her and I need to FaceTime with her in order to actually get to know her.
I have no interest in doing this. I’m fine with my choice to have a random roommate, but my mom is not. She has quite literally been screaming at me to FaceTime with this girl. Just today my mom sent me a text about FaceTiming with the girl and when I didn’t answer it, my mom sent the exact same text an hour later.
I really do believe that my mom is trying to live vicariously through me. She keeps mentioning that when she went to college she didn’t have the opportunity to choose a roommate, so I’m being selfish and stubborn by not taking my opportunity to do so. Personally, I don’t think it’s that deep, but I’m get so fed up with being yelled at.
I also asked my mom politely to let me be an adult and do this process by myself. She has refused to let me do that and has been continuously messaging this mom on Facebook saying that I would love to talk to her daughter.
I don’t think I’m being the a-hole, but what do I know, I’m just an “immature stubborn mule” in the words of my mom.

So, a little be of a preamble before I get into it. I haven’t been reading a whole lot of novels. The last time I read The Corroded Man, it took about a year to get through it. I would read it on the trains, and between classes at college. But in that time the book was lost, found, and water damaged, and I would go weeks to months without reading a paragraph. For years I kept putting myself down, thinking I was a slow reader. But I decided to actually reread the novel, and in ten days I made the same progress I previously gave ten months. I’m not a slow reader after all. I was just busy.
As for the book itself, a decent read. It’s not the works of Machiavelli, but it does what it says on the tin. It’s a fun romp in the Dishonored Universe, using characters we know, some we don’t, in their offscreen adventures. It also does add quite a bit, like the state of the Empire, what Tyvia is like, Daud’s less popular assassins. And apparently, Jessamine Kaldwin was up to some shady shit, proving not everything in her reign was entirely altruistic, plotting to remove one totalitarian government, with effectively an autocrat. I now understand more behind-the-scenes of Emily’s training, which benefits how combat ready she is in Dishonored 2. Zhukov, the titular villain, is genuinely interesting, in how he survived the super-gulag, and the monstrous acts he would commit. I found him to be more interesting than Delilah for a Dishonored Sequel Antagonist.
If I had to say some negatives… um… Part One can feel like a slog, but it’s necessary, as that’s where all the different threads begin, and it gets us to when they all tie together for the subsequent Parts which are much more narratively close together. Part One is also the longest at 40% of the total page count. I will also say that after Part Two Rinaldo straight up stops being a factor in the story. Part One has just one or two odd chapters from his PoV, but after Part Two, he’s just gone.
I hope this doesn’t sound like a review, because I’m nowhere near qualified to make one. I just wanted to share what I enjoyed, and my new positive outlook on reading. Now of only they did a second printing of the sequel novels so they weren’t so hard to find. Maybe with a new cover art, because Dishonored has a fantastic art style, and the reused game renders is a let down and a half. I found out that the author Adam_Christopher has an online presence, so I will be looking to give him a message, maybe even discuss some behind the scenes questions.
Read the Novel if you can, it isn’t wasted time. If you love Dishonored as much as I do.

The "One Night Only" Talent Show Challenge results are in!
Gigi Goode has won the "Sexy Car Wash Photoshoot" Mini Challenge!
After the challenge, Gigi Goode & Tessa Testicle are declared safe. They all step to the back of the stage, leaving the tops and bottoms for their critiques.

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ON THE MAINSTAGE...
Arizona Brandy receives positive critiques from the judges. They had no idea what to expect when she was telling RuPaul what her talent would be, but she kept them thoroughly entertained. Telling jokes and doing funny stripper moves, all while being suspended from a pole high in the air, was insane. Something about it was iconic yet chaotic, but they could tell it was just her having fun. Overall, she did what she should have done in this challenge: Make them excited to see more of her in the competition. Her runway did this same thing, serving this fun and campy look with this brandy bottle gown she drank out of. Overall, she was so much fun to watch, and they couldn't wait to see more.
Ashley Madison receives negative critiques from the judges. They can tell she's a refined and funny queen, but they think her guard was too far up during this challenge. This is her first time introducing herself to them, and this simplistic performance, although impressive in twirling and throwing batons and flags into the air, they think she lacked a certain panache. It was all too rehearsed, too rigid, too structured. She needed something with a more personal edge rather than a talent they think any non-queen could've done for this challenge and seen on something like Dance Moms. Her runway this week is very simplistic yet refined. It does the job of introducing her, but she needs more than a pretty leather gown for this competition.
Kween Kong receives positive critiques from the judges. Kween is an absolute fireball of a queen/ Number one, and she's so assertive in her presence in performance and runway. Her song was fantastic and an earworm, the chorus stuck in their head all day. Not only that but her impeccable moves and the gravity-defying stunts she was doing every second was simply unbelievable. She has such grace and power when she performs, doing stunts and rolls that they didn't even know were possible. She carried this grace and power on the runway even further with this fantastic tribute to her culture. Blending this cultural gown into something more "Draggy" was awe-inspiring because she had such a regal energy throughout.
Mirage receives positive critiques from the judges. For such a young queen, she is so refined in performance. Something about her drag is so edgy and so modern that she excites them with her mind. This bitch track was incredible, giving some iconic reads and pairing along with some of the sexiest moves they've ever seen in their entire lives. She has such a captivating performance style that she's like a siren because she moves her body so fluidly that she traps them in her performance. The strippers she's learned from taught her well. It continues to translate into her runway, using the opportunity to do a strip tease into this bright, sexy, and fun performance outfit.
Pupi Poisson receives negative from the judges. Something about her drag is so classic, which RuPaul respects. She respects the older queens who keep drag alive and exciting, constantly pushing the pedal to the medal for fashion. This performance showed that she thoroughly knows how to work with a crowd. She kept them interested and had a funny performance; they think she dragged down the energy after two energetic performances. It's hard to do stand-up, but she made up for it with the comedic tuba playing she had, using it as a funny gag that had RuPaul pissing herself. Though her runway introduces her well with this sickening executive realness meets Met Gala look, it has too much going on for an opening look.
Shannon Skarllet receives positive critiques from the judges. They didn't know what to expect from Shannon besides that she was a pocket rocket. They think she pushed herself to the top because the girls overlooked her. She had an enjoyable original song; blending twerking with fire dancing was so much fun. She knew what she was doing and did it well, so she allowed everyone to have fun alongside her, even with their mini torches. Not only that, but she looked beautiful and knew it while doing it. She's, by far, one of the most stamped queens of this premiere. Her runway embracing the fun of Carnival and blending it into this sexily padded look gagged them because she was unclockable in this feathered fun ensemble.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

AFTER DELIBERATION...
TOP 2: Kween Kong / Mirage
HIGH: Arizona Brandy / Shannon Skarllet
SAFE: Gigi Goode / Tessa Testicle
LOW: Pupi Poisson
BOTTOM: Ashley Madison
Ashley Madison will continue to the next episode and lip-sync against the queen at the bottom of the second premiere. The Top Two Queens will Lip-Sync for Their Lives to "Hands On Me" by Ariana Grande ft. A$AP Ferg. This is their Last Chance to Impress RuPaul and win themselves the Maxi Challenge. Good Luck, and Don't Fuck It Up!
POLL / Track Record

I’ve loved reading the very different takes and opinions on this season! (I land in the middle- it really grew on me by E4). I’ve read a lot about the acting and chemistry but for me the biggest missing factor this season was the music. I felt like it added so much emotion and angst and tension in the first two seasons and not having those dramatic pop covers hit like in S1 & S2 really made a difference for me in connecting with this season so far. I’m so hopeful the other half of this season will bring some musical drama!
Did anyone else feel this way?

Men made women feel like superstars, a 1/10 woman today feels like she’s 10/10, and that’s because of men. How the hell you want a person to feel and act if you compliment them 24/7, treat them like superstars and pay to just see their feet, this is crazy ! Anyone who is treated this way will grow an enormous ego, so don’t ask why women don’t respect men, most men are not worthy of respect. We became cheap as hell. I’m a male btw, and I gave up dating, can’t deal with a 1/10 girl with Micheal Jackson’s ego.

GUYS, i desperately need to become a shift you don't understand. It's not just the pay increase and guaranteed hours but I am SOOOO bored!! I will not quit are you kidding me, management and corporate behave like they've been infected with the devil but this competitive pay and benefits talk LOUDERRRRRRR HELLOOO. Im a uni student who relies on public transit so till i sav enough for a car most of my shifts would b like mids and opens when I'm an SSV
I've come to learn that this job is very personality based. I would describe myself as a focused, hardworking, no nonsense person. I literally do not feel the need to engage in conversation on the floo never initiate unless I see a cute new tattoo/hair colour my fellow barista is sporting or need to complain and that's abt it. I'm an extremely good convesationlist (I mostly xercise this w customers duhhh) but when I'm at work my focus is get in, do what I know and gtfo because I don't see them as friends they are my COWORKERs; Im telling you all this because I definitely think ur personality is a big part of how u go abt working at Starbucks at least that's what I've observed. I definitely always keep my pay in mind ($18.34 Ontario, Canada) and I refuse to work as if I'm two ppl. I work efficiently, with intentional movement so I can maintain AT LEAST where I'm deployed whether it's bar, DTO, warming etc etc, wherever I'm placed, I make sure my environment is beautiful, stocked, and functional because I refuse to operate in mess (and as a lil treat for the barista after me) and disorganation idgaf abt DT times, customers waiting, why would I spend 10 mins sliding on a slippery floor when I can mop it up in under a min??? come on nowwww cleanliness NEEDS to come first and it always will for me. You will not find me leaving spills, messes etc etc for late someone else
My manager is a great, beautiful and lovely as a PERSON, but is truly MS.Trunchbull on the floor so much so I've considered switching to the night team so i don't have to deal with her as much. She is prepared to help me with my shift but she's very DIY abt it, like I have to figure everything out myself she says things like we'll go as fast or slow as u want to go (I was alr warned by this b4 transferring) . She is VERY standard I'm pretty sure she even has a siren tat i hope i never see it bc u actually need to stop drinking the kool-aid lady like pls. She wants me to focus on coaching ppl as a barista which I've attempted (mainly on cleanliness, beverage accuracy, greeting." : but bro....these ppl literally dgaf... even when SSV's coach them. I've tried saying things like:
"I love how fast you're getting out drinks, I know speed is important, but wiping your bar and putting things back immediately will actually help with that and if you need support with that i could give u a hand"
"I cant belive ur done the pull!! that was fast, dont forget to collapse the boxes so garbage runs are less time consuming thanks so much"
"Omg this is so me, I always forget that the new refreshers come w a nitro lid too, if we're out do mind replacing it w a dome lid thankssss"
"Omg guys i look so silly when i greet by myself pls next time can we do it in harmony pls ill send u money"
I've learned that starting with a compliment is the most effective way
Being a barista u can turn ur brain off but it becomes mind numbing when ur well integrated into the job. I transferred from a cafe only with ppl who behave like its high school to the busiest drive thru in the district with less problematic ppl (as a girl + gay, sometimes the girls and gays get too comfortable and forget where they are). The SSVs here are extremely overworked/stressed out and attacked verbally you knowww the typical suck them dry run around. I'm the type of person who refuses to let a job such as Starbucks behave as if I owe them my life, I have great communication skills, I communicate problems, ask for support and just overall vocal. I refuse to get stressed on the job its just low value coffee pls relax. Sometimes the best ways to respond are: ok, understood, thanks for the feedback, got it etc etc. Even irate costumers cant get to me ill just be like sorry bout that bro, remake, refund or SSV which one u want.
I'm very casual abt my approach to the job, down to my work clothes (everyone says I always look so comfortable, BECAUSE I AM!) cause I refuse to treat it as the corporate environment it masquerades as, if ur not gonna put me on salary imma act like an hourly!!!! Even when I'm a shift (I'm very confident I will eventually get the position, God willing) I will take ALL my breaks and lunches IRDGAFFF
I need all tips and advice to become a Baista Trainer, Shift and then the best way to do the job while keeping cleanliness and well being of my fellow coworkers on the floor. Like I said, my manager is very DIY like all she tells me is coach and b a leader like ok, girl sure but I'm not gonna undermine the SSV. The environment i want to mimic, is basically old starbucks, a clean, well oiled machine, where baristas are actually happy and dont behave robotic when it comes to connecting or r just so BURNT OUT!
I feel like barista's at my store are scared to make mistakes, admit them too, are stressed and just feel pressure. I want to change this narrative at least when its my floor. Focus will b efficiency, and guess what DT times actually do nottt mean shit, they can yell all they want but if there's valid reasons for the time displayed and standard was upheld u literally can't knock me for it! and if i did something wrong of course I can b accountable. Im ok with being a by the book person (for me, I'm not gonna impose thison baristas, do it ur away as long as u get the right results) it doesn't bother me in fact its better bc its just makes things more straightforward
i dont plan to b strict, overbearing or whatever I'm literally trying to replicate a cozy cafe as much as i can which starts with happy baristas hellooooo. I want everyone to feel like they can freely communicate with me/ ask for support/ or just b honest and tell me things like if they physically cant handle being on like DTO anymore.
PLS give me every tipe advice u have I literally will b taking notes, Im literally thinking about making a digestable ultimate barista guide for anyone i train. thank u so much in advance and dont let this job stress u ever its not worth it, USE ALLLL ur benefits and stay happy and grateful luv u guys

I think I’m falling out of love. My boyfriend and I have been together for only about a year. Before we started dating, I told him about all the things that I would not condone in a relationship and if he doesn’t agree with what my thoughts are (mainly regarding cheating) then I would rather not date. He agreed to it and promised that he would respect my boundaries. Just for context here are some of my big no no’s in a relationship (some people might not agree but we are all different and I’m not pushing it to the other person):
No girl bestfriends No lying No Corn
That was mainly it.
A couple months into the relationship I was introduced to a girl “friend” which I later found out to be his best friend. That night when we were at a house party I saw them two in a room whispering to each other and laughing. It didn’t sit right with me but we were new so I ignored it but let him know that I’m not comfortable with them being so close.
It just snowballed from there.
Long story short, after a couple of months of dating, one by one my boundaries got thrown out.
I found out that he does have a girl best friend, and they’ve done something before.
I found out that he was a porn addict.
I found out that he was a liar, even with the little things that you don’t need to lie about.
My checklist of no no’s got checked off.
Naturally, I broke up with him. Before you tell me that I am insecure, I’m not. I just want the respect that I give be given to me. Countless cheating and a physically abusive relationship has taught me that I deserve better and I would rather be single that be with a man who does not respect me.
He was miserable after and I can see that. I was hurt, deeply. The trust that was so hard to give felt like it was stomped on.
He courted me again for a few months to prove that he changed. After a while I forgave him and we got back together.
He’s been nothing but good to me but my gut is telling me that something is off.
He has no problem with me checking his phone when I want to but when I check it, it’s clean. Too clean. Almost as if it was wiped clean. Even the deleted messages is gone.
His girl best friend has been cut off (supposedly) but she is back in town and I have a feeling they are meeting behind my back.
These past weeks we were doing great but I find myself thinking, what if I didn’t get back together with him?
Every time I ask him about something, all I can think about is if he’s lyinng to me again.
I don’t see myself growing old with him but I am scared of what could be if I stick with him.
Any advice?

I have two friends. Jay (F) and Cee (M). I've known Jay since elementary school. We've never really been super close but have always been on friendly terms. After high school we became more of FB friends than anything but we've stayed in touch. She is married to Cee. I've known Cee since high school but we were never really friends. He ran with the "popular but bad" crowd and that wasn't my scene. He is still all friends with more or less his same group of friends as high school.
There was a bachelor party I attended a few months back. Cee was there along with most of the people from his friend group. When we went back to the AirBnB to wrap up the night he was talking about how we should hire some sex workers. At first everyone thought it was a joke, but as the night went on it became more obvious that he likely patronizes sex workers. He insisted he has people he can call and that he does this all the time and it will be cool. It didn't happen cause no one else was interested, especially the groom to be, but it still left a weird taste in my mouth. I should also mention that he and people within his friend group have a habit of lying to their wives about where they are, how much they are drinking and whether or not they are using drugs (nearly all of them use cocaine regularly).
Anyway, Jay reached out to me about something completely unrelated and I was hit with a pang of guilt realizing that she probably doesn't know her husband hires sex workers. So my question to y'all is should I tell her about what I know?
I'm hesitant because it's not really my business, as you can tell I'm on the periphery of their friend group at best so it would definitely be odd for me to try to get involved. Also, you never know these days, this could be a part of their relationship that they keep secret and I just end up looking like an asshole trying to throw him under the bus if its something she already knows about. On the other hand though, if I was her, I would want to know. So what's the verdict? Should I tell her? Or just stay quiet and ignore it?

Intended major: biochem or neuro (only neuro bc I have done research in neuro, had bad migraines for a bit missed about 20% of sixth grade, researched the mutated gene that is thought to cause migraines, have a couple of neuro doctor mentors, wrote book on brain, genuinely really really love!!) and then coupled with a minor or double concentration in writing (have always adored writing, want to pursue in some aspect, think I could combine science and writing to have a difference in making scientific concepts more comprehensible to all). Genuinely am very passionate about both like a lot! If I do not pursue writing will definitely pursue it in ecs in college.
I genuinely love everything I do and could talk about it for forever.
1) co-president of an international 501c3 writing competition nonprofit that receives over 200 submissions from all continents (and >15 countries) and reaches up to 70k people through marketing; started a science platform for kids to submit their work (since beginning of sophomore year). Have insta, TikTok, website, podcast, and newsletter platforms. Started middle of sophomore year.
2) international 501c3 health nonprofit founder and president. post blogs to teach kids about health and medicine (over 300 posts by submissions). additionally have 25 international club chapters from 10 states and 6 countries (3 continents), will have raised more then $10k for our internationally known partner, affiliated w a t10, by college apps through our chapters and donations. Starting chapters at two t25 universities, trying to establish more at others. Also talking to two more people from 2 other countries (and one other continent) to start chapters. Have website and instagram platforms (reaching over 5k different users from 18 countries). Started summer going into junior year. Over 1k followers on Instagram. Selected for innovation internship with ivy league alumni. Started chapter at my school (founder and president), helped partner teens w doctor mentors and secured them shadowing opportunities.
3) Founded and president of a biology club at school to redistribute resources only given to certain students. have over 130 members and 50 active members. host seminars with 4 professionals (including renowned doctor that worked with one of the people who discovered dna structure), four free dissections so far (since beginning of sophomore year). provide academic to ap bio classes with testing treats (during midterms, finals, ap exams, and national science day). established bulletin board at school to post all science opportunities. started resource hub for kids at my school (~600 enrolled students).
4) Executive manager of school newspaper, started a science column to explore themes in science (head writer and editor), expanded distribution to whole district and local businesses, wrote over 26 articles (basically almost every edition since my first month of freshman year). Participated all four years of high school, heavily involved. Went from writer to small leadership role to exec board (4 selected) for 2 years (first to be a 2 year exec).
5) EMT - EMT certified, hoping to work over 100 hours by submissions. Completed >20 hours of shadowing, completed 40-module course with an A. Created online website resource hub for people trying to become an EMT. Inspired to try to start an AP Anatomy course at the high school (currently working to integrate). Started middle of junior year.
6) Research - cold emailed over 20 research professors from universities to find opportunities. assisted an ivy league doctor with a literature review (published and listed in acknowledgments), wrote and published (in peer-reviewed academic journals) two review papers on migraines and hemophilia (under mentorship of T30 PhD student and T10 pharmaceutical company doctor). Additionally attending research program over the summer (~8% acceptance rate) where I will continue to research. Through research, discovered education barrier, influenced to begin creatively writing (start science blog to explain complex topics?????). Started research pub platforms bc hard to find free ones! Started all research beginning of junior year.
7) Curriculum Council (started beginning of junior)- chosen by admin and staff as one in four (out of >1200) to represent student body in council of school board and admin. led an initiative to start a science research course at school (which will be implemented next year). Part of committee since beginning of junior year.
8) Student government (all 4 years of hs) - chosen as one of fifteen (out of 350 in class) to be student rep, as one in ten (out of 350 in class) to directly advise the principal in event and school planning matters in Principal advisory committee, and as one in eight (out of ~1000) to be on the Student ambassador exec board. Participated in all three of them since 9th grade (4 years).
9) three season varsity athlete. Have participated in every fall season of field hockey since second grade (11 seasons) and play for my high school and in middle school. Have additionally played field hockey in club for eight seasons (total of 19 seasons). Varsity defensive starter. Led clinics for youth to learn field hockey. Also, varsity track and field runner for spring and winter seasons (have participated all four years of high school, 8 seasons by the end of high school).
10) service: do not know which to include,
Girl Scouts - earned Silver award and earning gold award. have earned over 150 service hours and over 50 badges. Girl Scout for ten years.
Service club - leadership in a club that raises over $100,000 for cancer research (small role)
other:

• wrote and published a children’s book on how the brain works (read more in awards section)
  
• service (earned congressional award gold medal so 400+ hours)
  
• horticulture: intern at one of the most renowned botanical gardens for a year, have a garden, wrote blog abt it (essay related to flowers/gardening)
  

tl;dr: My feelings for my girlfriend are fading, yet I don't want them too
Our relationship started off as most where it was just amazing. Every single day we were together, and it's like time was going in 3x speed. This was my senior year of high school, and neither of us did all too much other than a few sports seasons, which still left us every night together. This continued from about November 2022 to about July 2023. Then, we went to university. It was hard at first, came home every weekend to see her, and just her. As time went on I found friends, and started hanging out with them all the time as I had nothing else to do. I sorta realized I missed out on a lot of fun times with my friends in high-school as well because i spent literally EVERY SINGLE NIGHT with my girlfriend, but yet I don't regret that. Towards the end, I was looking forward more to the weekends I got to be with my friends than with her, even though I saw them every single day. Now it's summer, i've been back for around two weeks, and it still doesn't feel the same. I find myself wishing I was doing other things when i'm with her, and sometimes it's almost like i'm just waiting out the clock to go home. Sometimes i'd rather even just be alone. Often times we just lay down and watch a movie, probably 90% of the time, so that could be part of it. We also tend to spend like 6-8hours at a time together. We haven't done much intimately and I feel like it's because i'm not initiating it at all, or maybe it feels like I even shut it down. I find myself getting angry with her quicker. I have even been noticing her flaws more than the amazing things she is to me, and the little things that used to be sort of funny get on my nerves. I still love her with my whole heart and the thought of losing her almost makes me cry immediately, but I don't know if I just enjoy her as a person, or in a relationship standpoint. I just feel like it's wrong that I don't enjoy spending time with her a lot. It's also worth saying i'm pretty introverted, whereas she could be with people all day and then do it again the next day in other words very extroverted. She wants to hangout every moment possible. For example, I would work 7-3pm, workout around 3:30-4:00, get done around 5:30pm, and she wants to hangout by 6pm. So, my main question, is this a sign that i'm losing feelings, because at one point in the relationship I could be with her all day everyday. I also feel as though i'm using the introvert part as an excuse internally. I only say that because sometimes we won't see eachother for a day or two, and I still would rather be alone. She is my first ever girlfriend, and i've never really loved anyone this way. Im struggling to know if I don't want to hurt her, if i feel bad after we said so much about being soulmates and planning our future. I mean, before her I was planning on saving myself till marriage. I truly thought she was my soulmate. I still want her to be so bad, but i'm just not sure if the way i'm feeling is normal. I would give anything for me to feel the way i did again.
One last thing that may be a big part of it, sometimes I feel trapped. Like if I told her I wanted a day to just be alone, she would act understanding, but i can just tell she is just upset the whole time. Which then totally contradicts the fact that I needed some me time since I only worry about her being sad. It feels wrong that she wants to be with me every second of the day, and I don't share that.

Please note- there is discussion of a hadith which calls for the execution of those who commit same sex relations in this post. While the direct text of the hadith is not there, it is alluded to. If this could potentially discomfort you, please see the end of the post for a small conclusion on the subject matter discussed here.
Previously, I wrote about why the "test" argument, insomuch in how while tests can be granted by god, sexuality cannot be seen as one without making the verses on how Lut's people invented their sin read oddly, and blatantly put- illogically. The mainstream reading makes Lut out as tactically incompetent (hoping to give women to ward off the mob at his house despite the fact that they had wives already and such hadn't helped), engaging in forced marriage (as he essentially in the popular reading offers to throw his daughters out to the mob without asking his daughters about anything and generally as being less than ideal in deed- for the idea that argue he did not need to ask his daughters- Ibrahim asks his son (likely Ismail but also possibly Ishaq) about the dream of sacrifice he had in the quran (37:102). This is not getting into illogical presumptions that buttress the traditional understanding regarding sexuality itself. Overall, the mainstream reading not only ascribes extremely negative actions to Lut, violating the idea that the prophets have some protection from committing bad actions, it just makes no logical sense on top of that.
Here of course- is where the traditionalist often moves to another argument- "Surely, if you legislate this, you shall legislate incest and pedophilia both!" or "Same sex relations and the desire for them is a mental illness". In their minds, the justification of one sin shall surely lead to others, and the desire for same sex relations is an illness- they see it as a mental one primarily. As for the idea that same sex relations are made up and a human invention, one can just pointedly argue this- if they are, they should not be prevalent in an area where such is condemned as they have no possibility of happening due to such being seen as taboo, yet in the near east, you have Saudi Arabia in certain publications getting called the Kingdom in the Closet- https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2007/05/the-kingdom-in-the-closet/305774/ .
Now, of course- this understanding forms on the idea that same sex relations are a sin, and thus, the other two are also sins. Thus, allowing for one sexual sin opens the possibility for others. Yet, there is a major conflation happening here- and a dangerous one. In such an argument, the lines between consensual actions and non consensual actions and acts that allow for inbreeding or not, are blurred- irreparably.
When one is to define a sexuality, typically it is defined as an innate inclination of an individual. A paraphilia can also exhibit itself as this- but there is a major difference- a paraphilia cannot be expressed safely- either to oneself who has it or others, and thus, consent often becomes a major issue. In the case of pedophilia, a child is underage and thus cannot consent properly, and as such, the only activities that can occur will be those of sexual assault. If one were to have intercourse with an animal (bestiality/zoophilia) or a corpse (necrophilia)- it is much the same- consent cannot be found or determined in certainty from the other party, and harm is likely to ensue.
This is also why we differentiate mental illness and sexuality- a mental illness can cause distress or harm to oneself or others. A sexuality inherently does not do that. A paraphilia on the other hand can do that. What often leads to mental health issues is repressing sexuality. The same also applies to suppressing gender identity- dysphoria can be deadly if left untreated- and transitioning is better than potentially gambling with somebody's life.
Sexualities as understood (gay, lesbian, bisexual etc)- do not inherently have these issues. They can be expressed consensually, they do no inherently cause harm to oneself or others, and far from causing the hallmark symptoms of mental illness- distress or harm to oneself or others- when expressed, such usually only happens when such are repressed. Now, the next argument that a traditionalist may defer to is this, "Fine then, what if two individuals consent to incest? Is that okay now?"
In the light of framing the argument around consent, this often is the next point to tackle- but even this has it's issues. Incest in itself usually has two issues running intertwined- consent and inbreeding. In extremely close situations like a parent with a child, or two siblings, there is a serious risk of one attempting to coerce the other as power dynamics can cause issues, or extreme codependences- consent becomes something that cannot be fully ascertained like in the former case- and that's not discounting the inbreeding issues. Even if consent was established, inbreeding would be a problem.
When the quran bans incest, it notably seems to be doing so under the inbreeding principle- banning avuncular and sibling marriage as well as with one's parents- as well as utilizing milk kinship- adopted son's wives may be wed, but those who have given nursing even if unrelated cannot.
Same sex relationships typically don't have this problem. In the case of heterosexual incest, inbreeding becomes an issue. Sexualities do not inherently have this problem- the issue of children does not occur with gay or sapphic individuals, and would only apply to bisexuals.
More importantly, such conflates an act with a disposition. Incest is ultimately an act between two individuals. People are not inherently predisposed to solely love their close relatives, they can find intimacy elsewhere. In traditional understandings however, same sex relations do not get this understanding. And as mentioned prior, acting upon them does not cause harm upon oneself or others in a physical sense. So the issue of physical safety or violating consent isn't there inherently.
But, moving back a little- the traditionalist argument also tellingly ignores that many of the things they'd argue would be justified, if same sex relations were licit were in fact to some extent justified in traditional jurispedence. Verse 65:4 has been infamously used to justify child marriage, and in tafsir's like Ibn Kathir, you can see this belief where iddah (the waiting period) for young girls is discussed, alongside the hadith's on Asiha's age and the precedent they could have set- though as mentioned prior, the veracity of these hadiths is doubtful due to them likely being narrated due to sectarian tensions and compromised narrators.
As for incest, while no direct incest is allowed, the quran does leave potentially a loophole for inbreeding. It does not ban first cousin marriage, and while that in itself is not incest, nor should it be seen as such (as that would imply it should be prohibited considering the trend of the banned marriage verses revolving mostly around close relatives, the fact is that successive marriages of such a nature would eventually lead to inbreeding. For successive situations, at most one could label them makruh, but no more than that. It would essentially have all the genetic consequences of incest regardless at that point. A couple in that situation would just have to be very careful considering children- it's left up to individual caution.
Now, at this point, the traditionalist may go "Okay fine, but what about two gay men having incest? There's no inbreeding there.". While this is mostly a very niche point, one must state this- if we are to ban sexual relations on the possibility of incest happening, shouldn't heterosexual intercourse be banned save only for procreation to completely reduce the possibility of such occurring. Clearly, nobody argues for that, so that it is here is odd. While the quran itself in the banned marriage verses does not definitively say anywhere "forbidden is being wed to the same gender" in Surah Nisa 's banned marriage verses- leaving all else as lawful- one could potentially analogize same sex incest to be akin to heterosexual incest, as per the dominant understanding of intoxicants.
Of course, the early hanafi understanding of khamr as wine only does exist, and even seems plausible to be backed depending on how one reads scripture (as khamr seems to be often used in relation to wine in the quran), but in this case taking the more cautious route seems best. Controversially, there is of course the silence is permission angle of this, but that probably wouldn't be an ideal reading in this case- while this is usually an acceptable path to take to avoid over restrictions and burdening (as well as adhering to the maxim of not making something permissible not so), it might not be ideal to do here based on how heterosexual incest is treated, but theoretically such a view would conform with the idea that "all else is lawful" aside from the banned categories unless we analogize same sex incest to heterosexual incest, and thus put such in the banned category. Overall however, the quran just does not really seem to address same sex relations. Lut's story could be pointed to, but the mainstream reading has it's issues, as stated prior, between compromsing Lut's character and not making sense logically.
Now, at this point, one could point to 4:15-16, but even that has some issues in regards to being used as evidence of same sex relations being criminalized. For one, the punishments for them are very light- house arrest for a group of women, and rebuking for two individuals (some translations argue 4:16 means two men, but most seem to indicate it is "the two"- who these two are is never specified- and could just mean a duo of any two individuals. If these are the punishments for same sex relations, where did the hadiths advocating the death penalty come from?
Others may point to the idea that the quran is written in a heteronormative context, but the mention of both men without desire and the ghilman contest this. The houris also potentially could be both male and female, as netural terms are used to speak of them in places of the quran.
The unequal nature of the punishments (women get house arrest, men get rebuking), despite zina being classed as equal for both male or female in punishment, the fact that the verses actually leave a loophole for monogamous sapphic relations (4:15 only punishes a group of three or more women, if we assume 4:16 speaks about gay men). If we are to assume the possibility that 4:15-16 were both talking about sapphic relations (a group or just two individuals) that would open up the issue of gay men having no punishment in the quran, and leave an unequal punishment for sapphic relations (why does a group get house arrest, but two a shunning?).
4:16 use of the "the two" is also in the neutral- implying it isn't specific to a certain gender. If it was, it would be like 4:15 mentioning women somewhere. The two mentioned here could also include a man and a woman together. Most traditional understandings held these verses to be abrogated strictures regarding zina, and considering they are after a section on inheritance, and fahisha can mean greed- it's potentially plausible these verses have nothing to do with sexual activity at all, but inheritance fraud. This is not an orthodox understanding of course, but the placement of the verses after a section on inheritance rules seems to make this view plausible.
Unless one analogizes to zina for same sex relations- but as mentioned prior, zina without a path to marriage means accusations of fornication can't hold, they can't exactly be punished in and of themselves. And as mentioned earlier, paraphilias are not equivalent to sexualities due to not being inherently unsafe to engage in. Nor are they inherently involved with incest, and thus cannot be banned on the basis that legislating same sex relations would allow for the others. The latter is different enough from the former. Thus, the argument the traditionalist uses here is in essence a slippery slope fallacy- common in many conservative understandings, but an application of said fallacy nonetheless.
As for the hadiths indicating the death penalty for same sex relations, if the quran itself doesn't have anything that serious for same sex relations then such can be discarded as a fabrication. Ibn Hazm himself did this (while he was not affirming by any means and actively saw same sex desires as something that would require institutionalization (which was however much better than most others at his time amongst religious authorities), he did find all hadiths on capital punishment daif).
Additionally, as some have posted in this subreddit prior, the transmission chains have issues. There is also the fact that the hadith seems to essentially be the popular understanding of the punishment for same sex relations from the book of Leviticus, and almost word for word sound nearly identical to the verse in Leviticus which states such and their popular interpretation when linked to the story of Lut- which would potentially imply this hadith, much like the ones on rajm (stoning)- essentially caused jewish legal concepts to creep into islamic jurispedence.
While there can be acceptance of certain understandings from the past revelations so long as they harmonize with an islamic understanding- hence the diverse and rich tradition of prophetic stories and in tafsirs related to them, their legal codes are not binding upon muslims, especially when they conflict with scripture. Of course, since the quran does not legislate the death penalty for same sex relations, there is no need to argue for it, and they should be dismissed as legal stratagems that are not to be executed. Even if same sex relations were not appropriate (though my understanding is that they can), they cannot be seen as needing the death penalty. Even using 4:15-16 to prove punishment for same sex relations holds is proof enough for that- if these are the punishments for same sex relations, why reach for the death penalty?
Overall, sexualities cannot be seen to be equated to paraphilias or incest in totality, as they are not inherently prone to being nonconsensual or inherently inviting the possibility of inbreeding, and making analogies to them or that legalizing the former will allow for the latter two is not only disingenuous, it also ignores the fact that medieval jurispedence in some times allowed for some of such to occur regardless such as seen with some of the interpretations of 65:4, even with the ban on same sex relations intact.

Cross-posted this on a UAF subreddit but figured I'd ask here too. Pending housing, my wife and I will be attending UAF and will be bringing our two kiddos (3 yo and newborn). We currently live in a mid-size city, but my wife and I are from small "one red light" towns. How is the scene for younger kiddos up there? Our son currently does Taekwondo and will do tball/soccer at our YMCA when in season but I'm curious where I can find information on activities like that for him before we move. Neither kids are in childcare (I work days, wife works nights) so we're not super worried about the childcare. More or less just wondering how it is with young kids. Thanks!!

Ever since I was in third grade I’ve been crushing on girls, never really any boys, always told my friends some random boy name if they asked who I‘m crushing on knowing damn well I wanted a girl instead of a guy I was always the „popular“ kid but still got bullied , a lot on social media n stuff so I was scared to admit that I like girls and not boys I always told myself liking girls is embarrassing and wrong, still do Years later this hasn’t changed at all, for the last two years I’ve been trying to sexualise myself a little more and try dating guys instead since I also struggle really bad with issues related to my father and not growing up having any male attention, when it comes to men I can’t say no and think they wouldn’t want me if I said no but recently I have started setting more boundaries for myself and even started labeling myself as a bisexual with female preference I honestly thought about it a lot and it’s just that I don’t see myself with a man ever, never have been attracted to one and probably won’t be, and I always feel like I am missing out on women when trying anything with a man The only big problem that I really am having rn is just missing out on female attention, I only get weird and creepy guys in my dm‘s and barely ever any compliments from a female and I have honestly thought about just going for it with a man since there’s a really low chance I’d actually end up with a girl someday, on the other side I crave a female in my life so badly

Hey all! I'm in the mood for some fics with some hot, sexy, downright dirty dreams! Could be that either Draco/Hermione is influencing the other's dreams to make them want the other during their waking hours, or one is invading an already explicit dream, or that one of the pair thinks it's a hot dream but it's really not!
Can be one-shots, or just a scene or two in a longer fic. I'm open to anything!
A few fics that have inspired this mood:
A Dream of Want by LadyUrsa (one-shot)
Meet Me in Dreamland by sinflower81 (WIP, and oh so good)
More, Impossible to Ignore by FidgetScribbles (one-shot)
Specifically featuring Incubus/Demon!Draco (sexy dreams seem to be a common theme here):
Dream a Little Dream by rockthecasbah18 (one-shot)
Night Terrors by TheWanderersWanderingDaughter (two-shot, mind the tags)
Sleeps the Crimson Petal by Leviosaaa
The Half-Blood Demon by Catmint and Thyme (abandoned, but still delicious)
Thanks in advance! Once again, this community is simply the best <3

Is it just me, or is Luna super annoying and dumb? I'm on Chapter 15 when you wake up back in Seren, and I don't understand Luna's motivations at all.
She plans to join the Lucian Army to fight Rasharn, her hometown gets invaded and brutally attacked by Rasharn, she watches her childhood friends get blown up by Rasharn, then what does she do?
Joins up with Rasharn for "free tuition", becomes their warlord's right hand, and starts referring to Rasharn as "us" and saying things like "our culture was being destroyed". Girl, you grew up as a Lucian, quit acting like you're a Rasharnian, they kidnapped you and killed your friends. And acting like the whole "Lucium stopped our children from becoming Magni" thing is equivalent to a genocide is absurd IMO. They just took away your weapons. You're in a war and the enemy found a way to weaken your army without actually killing people. They just stop them from becoming powerful soldiers in the first place.
I don't know, maybe I'm missing something, but I have zero sympathy for Rasharn or Luna where I am in the story right now.

So I went to school today on half an hour of sleep bc I had taekwondo practice last night and I had homework to do and tests to study for. Usually I'd be fine for the most part but I even had coffee and I felt like a walking corpse. I'm not joking when I say I felt like I was hallucinating on the bus ride to school. First period starts and both my friends and teacher comment that I look ill. They are kinda right and I get to lie down for a little bit before going about the rest of the school day. My friends suggested I get my mom to pick me up if I'm feeling ill but if that were so easy I wouldn't be on this subreddit. I initially sent her a text that I need a favor but I cancelled it last minute because I'm not eager to get an earful about my attendance or sleeping habits this late into the school year.
School day is over and I'm finally back home, feeling like complete dogshit, but at least I drank some more coffee and had a sandwich. Now the issue is that I can't go take a nap yet because I need to be awake to get the door for my 11 year old brother. I've mentioned this to some people and a few always reply that he is old enough to have a spare key and get himself into the house but I know my brother and not only would he lose the key in no time, he genuinely is daft when face-to-face with basic tasks (nevermind how awfully rude he gets when I try to help him but I've given up). I think it's around 3:30pm-ish when I feel like I've mentally checked out, and I dunno what happens. Time passes and my brother should have been back by now. The doorbell is ringing like mad and sure enough it's him, but the time is 4:30pm-ish. I'm confused bc I know I wasn't asleep but I was so exhausted that I just did not pay attention to anything, let alone the door ringing. He comes in yelling at the top of his lungs that I'm deaf and can't listen to things the first time, and that he's been waiting for so long. Turns out he forgot his smart-watch at taekwondo, the one he was supposed to wear to be able to call my parents, so he went to his friend's house to call my parents. My phone was on ringer this entire time but again, I'm mentally out of it. I pick up the phone call and my mother is calling from work. She's going on a whole rant, cursing and everything, that my one job is to stay awake and get the door from him and how useless and stupid I am to not even be able to do that. Meanwhile this brother of mine is yelling about how dumb I am. The same arrogant shit that comes to my room every night to pester me to tuck him in, the same kid who still gets his mommy to pick up his dirty laundry off the floor. He talks back to everybody and my parents encourage it until he does it to them, in which case they turn to me to tell me that I don't teach him anything good.
Anyways, my mom's going to be back home now any minute and she wouldn't miss this opportunity to call me every name under the sun. I've already barely ate anything else today and the thought of having to deal with her makes me nauseous. To further rub salt on the wound, one of my friends who said I looked ill already checked up on me to make sure that I was okay. How the fuck is a teenage girl doing the bare minimum of your job mom?
This rant isn't really about me feeling bad that my parents aren't giving a flying fuck whether I could keel over right now, I don't feel an emotional attachment to them like that and I think if my mom came barging into my room to ask me how I'm feeling with some stupid look on her face I would puke instead. That might help though since I'm really nauseous right now and I can't seem to get myself to vomit. All I'm saying is that if I chose to rot in bed for a bit to make up for shit health then can they fuck off for a sec and keep their thoughts to themselves?
And my lovely little brother, he's acting more and more like them day by day. I had sympathy for him since it felt like we were on the same boat but if he wants to act up then he better learn how to fend for himself. I swear putting up with his ass is like having to deal with a child that I did not ask for. I've seen the "magic" of children, and now I'm for sure getting my tubes tied when I'm older, I'm not dealing with this now or ever again. If he wants to disrespect me then he can do so after he learns to at least plate his own meals, put himself to bed, and not waste a fourth of his day watching TV. I still love him, and I want what's best for him, but my patience is on thin ice, and I'm not going to take the blame for his behavior.
And to anybody with younger siblings or little siblings on the way reading this, don't ever take it upon yourself to take up any typical parenting duties, because you can use all your patience and effort to be a better role model, but it's ultimately wasted on a brat who won't even treat you like an elder sibling cause they know crying to mommy and daddy is how they can get what they want. Seriously, it's a thankless job, go let that kid learn the hard way and focus on yourself, you're not the parent so you're not responsible.

• Thanks for reading my bullshit rant, I feel better after writing this. I gotta lock back into homework now lmao.

Whats up, ive got a bit of a dilemma going on. Im 19, a guy. Im a bit of a low confidence motherfucker, most of my life ive been unhappy with who i am, both in body and in mind. The past close to two-ish years, ive done a lot of work, as to where i can wake up, look in the mirror and be proud of who i am most days. Recently, over the past few months ive been actually enjoying life very much, being friendly to people, having positive interactions, smiling more, all this out of genuine joy.
Now then, the meat and taters of this monologue. Ive had a pretty solid friend group since 2021, some guys, some girls, we go to parties together, celebrate each other's birthdays and so on. In this friend group, theres a girl, now we've always had a great dynamic, the few convos we've had have been great, at said parties if we talked, it was tons of fun, every time without fail.
Recently, weve been getting closer. It all started after a particular friends birthday, we danced together for a few hours, afterwards spent the whole evening together. Then we started sending each other music to listen to, to date this has been going on for 26 consecutive days, we are both artistic, we had a project for school we did together, whilst chatting in a cafe, then she invited me out to a "club" where we again danced for a whole while, chatted about our futures and cool ideas to modify my jean jacket into, when we didn't. This particular evening, at the end, a drunk came along, he was acting unpredictibly, started spouting nonesense, she shut down, had a panic attack, i peacefully managed to get him to back off, but saw she was conflicted, and since it was late, and ubers are expensive, i offered to walk her home, cause i was raised right and thats the "christian thing to do":). It was cold, she asked for my jacket, as we walked and talked, she got back into her senses, by the end she was laughing and smiling again. She felt guilty for me having to walk all this way, offered to pay for my ride home, i told her to just make something fun out of my old jacket, and so we split.
Other friends started noticing us hanging out more, told me she rarely, if ever, does things like these for people, so now im left conflicted.
I feel like we're quite different people, shes a perfectionist, while i pay no mind to happy little accidents, shes graceful, im hunky, clumsy. I could scarcely imagine her appreciating my company, yet here we are.
Weve known each other for quite a while, even if on a more trivial level, so theres that. Shes quite shy, she would never tell.
So now im left confused, but with a dope jacket all thanks to her handywork. Today she asked if i wanted to split off and get a bite while studying with our buddies, i obliged, we came back, had a pretty good conversation about our families, upbringing, she was laughing.
Am i cooked?

I finished uni a year ago studying a bachelors degree that was design and programming as well. So I did studio subjects like UX, UI, product design, data visualisation, web design, JavaScript coding, animation stuff like that pretty in demand stuff when I was studying it and there was heaps of jobs and a big demand for UX. I also did designathons assisted with PhD research in VR and more research. I worked hard and got high grades and ended up getting a strong portfolio together which my mentor currently said is better than some designers he knows. The only problem now is that the job market is terrible due to tech layoffs and no one is hiring due to a bad economy and over saturation of UX designers from boot camps.
I did have a final interview the other day for a large company that had over 1000 applicants for the role and I was one on the six to make it to the final round but sadly they hired other people because I lacked experience even though it was entry level and I was told to do an internship instead because they said it’s fast paced and think I’d struggle but they never seen me work and I don’t want an internship I want a job I’m nearly 25. Why does entry level need experience they said in the email they’ll teach you on the job. But I guess I’m alright to make it to the final six out of 1000 while only two were hired.
But there are no other jobs idk what to do, all the jobs are mid to senior level. It’s been a year and it looks like I’ll never get a job. I’ve applied for smaller jobs but didn’t even hear back.
So my life’s been a loop for the past year I get up walk my puppy then scroll on my phone all day. I have a mentor who’s given me a list to do to help but I haven’t even done that I feel like it’s pointless. I haven’t exercised in months or done any of my hobbies I just scroll on my phone in my room all day. I don’t even have the energy to place video games or eat normally my diet has gone to crap I barely even brush my teeth anymore.
I’m also feeling like a complete failure I’ve never been in a relationship at 24 and don’t have a career started yet. I’m so ugly I made a post on Reddit for plastic surgery but people said I don’t need it but I can’t believe them I feel like they’re lying trying to be nice and say my face isn’t asymmetrical when I was told I’m a 3/10 and need facial reconstruction surgery. I don’t want to go outside because I’m so ugly and deformed unlike everyone else. Someone called me an incel because I hate my face so much I wanted to die and self harm. What does that have to do with women that’s mean and hurts my feelings I’d never hate women. I don’t even want to do anything at all when I know I’m hideous
My parents are mad at me and say all I do is scroll on my phone and I should go back to uni and study something else or work in data entry or retail stocking shelves. People on Reddit said I should give up and I did a bullshit degree but they’re pretty in demand skills just the market sucks. I know a girl who’s been struggling for nearly 2 years. I’ve been to psychologists but none have been good one nearly fell asleep, one made weird assumptions and one dismissed my problems and said I have different problems. Only my psychiatrist helps
But I don’t feel depressed like I use to. Maybe burnt out and a bit disheartened that I worked so hard for nothing and been told to give up.
I currently have a part time job but that’s about it
Sorry for the long post but I’ve wasted a year pretty much in my bed on my phone. What can I do to fix it my family is mad at me for doing nothing and it’s not like I don’t want to do this. I’m 24 and so far behind in life my younger brothers friends have careers and travel. Am I lazy like they say or is there something wrong with me how to I find motivation to live again. My brothers are doing better than me with gfs and careers while I’m living at home with no future because of the job market
My laptop broke so I bought a MacBook Air but not getting it until next week so hopefully that helps
Sorry for the long post and if I sound whiny I’m just tired and struggling to improve no one’s helped only bend angry at me and making threats like threatening to financially drain me or kick me out because I’ve been struggling. I’m on medication been on it for years but now I’m in a slump i struggle to get out of. I can’t even surf anymore and I live near the beach. And I quit the gym I got a eating disorder from it so I don’t wanna go back
My puppy is all I have right now that’s keeping me active. I literally do nothing it’s almost midnight my sleep schedule is screwed and I haven’t even read a book in like a year I’m just so unmotivated by anything I don’t exercise, don’t eat well, don’t do hobbies, barley have energy to apply for jobs now I can’t do anything but my parents say I’m lazy which I probably am I guess but I never was lazy . I’m ugly and don’t have a career yet which I want, I want to start my life already
I have a lot of free time I should be enjoying it but I want a job
I’ve wasted my 20s