I’ve always known that I’d choose you. Three years ago when I had that moment of realization that we are bound together somehow, I promised myself I’d choose you should the opportunity present itself.
When I found out you’d been writing me letters for months; declaring your love and expressing deep adoration for me…I just couldn’t believe it. You really did love me as I love you.
I go back and read them sometimes. As a reminder that forever and always wasn’t a joke. You’re consistent. Albeit distant, you never waver in your love for me. Small notes of encouragement and reminders for me that you’re here and not. Life is a chaotic game that we must play to get by. You’re doing it so well. I don’t hold this against you, I just wish you were closer.
I know you’re tired and want to rest. I’d help you mend those wounds you can’t tend to right now. I’d love you so deeply without ever saying it. Embracing you in every way. Slowly repairing those broken pieces and open wounds. It’s okay to feel broken. But your perseverance is remarkable. I will forever admire you.

Hi all TIA for any and all advice. We are second time home buyers who had to move due to a job relocation. We are looking in a very small town where the demographics are leaning towards empty nesters and individuals aging in place. The homes are in a historic neighborhood and many are looking in disrepair. Our realtor suggested writing letters to homes we have an interest in to see if they would even consider selling in the next year or so. While I trust their expertise in this field, the whole idea just does not sit well with me. I thought I’d ask Reddit for their thoughts?
Should I:

1. Target specific houses?
2. Blast a neighborhood with the same generic letter indicating interest in moving to the neighborhood?
3. Perform some blood ritual to gain some good fortune in this insane market? (For legal purposes this is a joke)

We can probably hang in our rental for one more year and we have a very healthy budget. Would love some expert advice here.
Thanks again!

https://afkjourney-news.farlightgames.com/en/detail/19

Talk with Designers: Season Edition

Hi everyone, we've been surprised by the amount of feedback and suggestions we've received from our community about the Song of Strife season, and we're truly grateful for your enthusiastic support. Today, we're bringing you another edition of Talk with Designers, where we'll touch on some of the most discussed topics and share our thoughts on how we plan to address them. Let's dive right in.

Q1: Why the nerf on AFK Rewards and free gifts in this new season?

Designer:
Typically, when we plan version updates, we schedule rewards for each season with four updates in mind. In subsequent versions, we have actually prepared more engaging events and gameplay features, along with ample rewards to enrich your gaming journey.
However, we acknowledge that there may have been oversights in reward distribution during the recent season launch. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused. To rectify this, we've decided to adjust the rewards for Season AFK Stage, Season Legend Trial, Season Corrupt Creature, and Battle Drills to match those you received during the Starter Story.
Moving forward, we're committed to maintaining this level of generosity for every new season. Please be assured that these additional rewards are entirely new and won't affect what you'll receive from future events and activities.
Your understanding and support are invaluable to us as we continue to strive for excellence in enhancing your gaming experience.
Moreover, rewards will be enhanced in certain modes. (These adjustments are set to take effect after the update planned for this week. Once the update arrives, all players in the new season will be eligible to claim these compensatory rewards.)
a. Season AFK Rewards: Diamond x100 and Invite Letter x1 will be added as stage rewards for the first 1,200 Season AFK Stages. The two rewards will alternate every 5 stages, starting with new rewards on stages 2, 7, 12, 17, etc. Overall, the Season AFK Stages will be more rewarding than the those during Starter Story.
b. Season Legend Trial: Every 5 floors, from the 5th floor to the 85th, the rewards in Season Legend Trial will now be replaced with those from the Starter Story. The 4 towers will provide a total of Invite Letter x36, Tidal Essence x360, and Temporal Essence x120 as rewards. Additionally, we're adding the Faction Acorn x10 reward every 10 floors until the 90th floor.
c. Season Corrupt Creature: In addition to the current rewards, defeating a Season Corrupt Creature will now reward you with Soulstone (S-Level) x15. Collect 60 Soulstones (S-Level) to obtain a random Epic hero, including those added to the Hero Wish List after their Rate Up Recruitment event has ended.
d. Enhanced rewards for Battle Drill: Desolate Grounds. A total of 6 rounds of Battle Drills will be available throughout the entire season.
e. Adjusted diamond rewards in small and medium chests found on the map from 15&30 Diamonds to 30&60 Diamonds.
Please stay tuned for more time-limited events like "Glamor Gift" in future updates. These events will feature plenty of rewards for everyone to enjoy.

Q2: Heroes specialized in dealing true damage, like Marilee and Korin aren't performing as effectively in Season Dream Realm battles as they did before, are we rotating them out?

Designer:
Don't worry, we're not rotating out this type of hero. Our goal is to minimize the power gap between true-damage heroes and other heroes, while preserving their relative advantages. But Dream Realm bosses lack significant Defensive Stats in the current stage (before endless mode), which makes true damage heroes less competitive compare to other types. True damage heroes truly shine in Endless Mode; heroes like Marilee and Korin will remain top-tier damage dealers against certain bosses in that difficulty.
We realize that we've overlooked your early season experience before you could unlock the Dream Realm bosses on Endless Mode difficulty, causing some challenges in transitioning to new formations and raising concerns within the community. For the time being, we encourage you to experiment with different formations. By the way, Artifacts suitable for more formations will actually be unlocked soon (you can preview them in the Season Artifacts interface.)
We understand your concerns but encourage you to experiment with different formations. We'll keep gathering your feedback and monitoring the performance of all heroes on our end. We're proceeding with caution on any balance changes because we recognize the time and resources you've invested in these heroes. So, we're taking extra care with these adjustments.

Q3: What's the plan for this season? I'm confused about what's going to happen.

Designer:
The current season will last about four months, with new content planned for release at a steady pace. We've scheduled an update for each month, bringing in new events, features, rewards and other exciting content. But we will not introducing any new progression features in this season.
As you progress, your stat growth will be significantly capped after reaching a certain level, similar to what happened in the Starter Story. This is to prevent a significant power gap between new and veteran players in the middle and late stages of the season. In the Season Supreme Arena, we'll also set a Baseline Level to minimize the power gap between participants. This will allow you to play the game at your own pace.
We also want to talk more about the recent changes regarding the requirements for unlocking new areas. We made these adjustments after noticing a widening power gap caused by players progressing too quickly through new areas. In future updates, we'll introduce new mechanics to address these imbalances, allowing players to enjoy the game at their own pace while maintaining a healthy gaming life balance.

A heartfelt letter from the designers

Bringing seasonal content to this game genre was a bold move, one we took on with enthusiasm and determination. But we can't do it alone. Your support and understanding fuel our passion, while your feedback and suggestions steer us in the right direction. We're committed to improving each season with your input, and creating even more thrilling content for the game!
Thank you all again for your patience and understanding. Your feedback is invaluable and essential for shaping the future of our game.Finally, we want to express our heartfelt gratitude for the incredible support you've demonstrated for the new season "Song of Strife."
As a small token of our appreciation, please enjoy this special gift—Redeem Code: hwidnabwbd
Redeem code content: Invite Letters*10 Valid until: 2024.06.14 23:59:59 (UTC) Available on: live servers, PTR servers

There have been an increasing number of juniors visiting this sub asking for advice about writing essays. Below are some tips and advice for making your essay stand out as excellent. Feel free to ask questions because I will answer every single question in the comments.
I know from experience that many of you are struggling to identify a good topic for your essay. Conventional wisdom says to start by brainstorming a list of potential topics, and chances are, you have already started a mental list of ideas. You might think you only have a few choices for topics, based on your activities or experiences, or essay examples you read, or the rough draft you already started (or worse, that GPT started...). I advise, however, that you put down your list of topics and back away from it. Forget that exists for a moment. Seriously - thinking about this initial list tethers you to certain ideas that might not actually be your best options.
Now you can begin brainstorming with a clean slate.
Start with thinking about what you want to show in your entire application, not just one essay. Every single component in your app has one purpose – to tell more about YOU. Filling out the rest of the application by rote and focusing solely on the essay is short-sighted and will leave so much potential untapped in your application.

It's About You. Tell Your Story - And Be The Protagonist

An admissions officer’s goal is to understand you fully, in the context of your background and the rest of the applicant pool. They will begin this with assessing your academic abilities and potential. Then they will evaluate how you will fit into the student body they’re trying to curate. All of this can be somewhat broad and diverse and touch on several institutional goals. But they will dig deep to find out what each applicant is like, what your core values and motivations are, what kind of student you will be, how you will contribute to the vibrant and intellectual campus community they’re building, etc.
Your goal with essay brainstorming is to ascertain how to powerfully tell your story in a manner that will fit these criteria. The entirety of your application (again, not just one essay) aims to showcase your abilities, qualifications, and uncommon attributes as a person in a positive way. Before you begin outlining or writing your application, you must determine what is unique about you that will stand out to an admissions panel. All students are truly unique. Not one other student has the same combination of life experiences, personality, passions, or goals as you do. Your job in your application is to frame your unique personal attributes in a positive and compelling way. How will you fit on campus? What personal qualities, strengths, core values, talents, or different perspectives do you bring to the table? What stories, deeper motivations/beliefs, or formative experiences can you use to illustrate all of this?
It is always helpful to start with some soul-searching or self-examination. You might not immediately know what you want to share about yourself. It’s not a simple task to decide how to summarize your whole life and being in a powerful and eloquent way on your application. Introspection prior to starting your application takes additional time and effort rather than jumping straight into your first draft. But it is also a valuable method to start writing a winning application that stands out from the stack.
You'll see the advice everywhere that all essay prompts are really about the same thing - you. The goal of each essay then is to showcase who you are, what matters to you, and how you think. I guarantee if you're on this sub enough, you'll hear the advice to "show, don't tell" when writing about yourself. But what does this mean really, and how do you do it well? How do you even get started on an essay that does this?

Introspection Questions

It’s often easiest to start thinking in terms of superlatives, especially those related to personal insights -- what are the most meaningful things about you, and what do you value the most? Here is a list of questions to help you brainstorm broadly before you narrow down your focus for writing:

• What are your interests?
  
• What sparks your curiosity?
  
• About what topics do you enjoy reading?
  
• With whom do you enjoy spending time? Who has impacted your life the most?
  
• Reflect upon “superlatives” in your life. What moments were most memorable, formative, enlightening, enjoyable, or valuable? What physical possessions, experiences, dreams, or lessons could make your superlatives list?
  
• Stop and think about what things, people, or circumstances in your life are really unique, fascinating, or outlandish. Are there any that really have a lot of "cultural flavor" (whatever your culture is)?
  

I have a free introspection worksheet with over 100 questions like this designed to help you find ideas worth exploring in your essays. You can find it on the A2C Discord or download it directly here.

Find Your Story And Arc

Think of a small anecdote or story from your life that you could share that serves as a microcosm of who you are and what is important to you. It will massively help you narrow this down and find a gem of a story if you first start by thinking about your application arc or theme. This is the one-phrase summary of your entire application. It could be "brilliant entrepreneur who started her own successful business" or "talented athlete who wants to study economics and finance as they pertain to sports", or even "avid baker whose hobby sparked an interest in chemistry". It doesn't have to be related to your intended major, but it can help your arc be stronger and clearer if it is.
Once you have an arc determined and a story to share, think about what you want that story to say about you. This is where it can help to think of this as something you would share on a date - what impression does it make about you to the reader? Once you know this, start showing, not telling this attribute of yourself through your story. For example, instead of saying that you're compassionate toward others, you show an example of a time you were compassionate, then elaborate on why, and what it means to you.

Essay Brainstorming Techniques

If you are having trouble finding a story, or simply have writer’s block once you have picked your topic, here are some ideas to get your juices flowing:

• Stream of consciousness writing -- Start writing whatever is in your head, and don’t stop for 30 minutes. You probably won’t use what you just wrote for your essay, but it will help you find a starting point.
  
• Journaling -- Answer the prompt as if you were writing in a journal. This will get you in the habit of writing about yourself and establish comfort with the concept. It will also take you to a new level of introspection and self-awareness.
  
• Twitter X style -- Write several rapid-fire responses to the prompt in 280 characters or less. Choose an idea from these responses to expound upon in your essay.
  
• Read each essay prompt, then go through your introspection worksheet responses and connect the stories and insights to one or more of the prompts. Some students like using color coding to visually see how their different ideas might work together.
  

Why Essays Matter

Here's the thing a lot of people don't realize about college admission: it's not an award for being the smartest, most accomplished, or most impressive. It's an invitation to join a community. Far too many students think that if they can just show that they're smart enough, they'll get in. Yale even says right on their admissions website that 75% of their applicants are academically qualified to succeed at Yale. But only ~4% are getting in. That should tell you that they're looking for more than just top tier test scores and grades. To be perfectly clear, you will need top tier grades and (optionally) test scores to show that you're qualified, and the vast majority of my students come to me with this part already in the bank. But what sets the admits apart? It's personal insight - sharing who you are, how you think, what matters to you, and how you engage community. You can't just say "/IAmVerySmart, please admit me," or even "I did a cool thing guys! Isn't that neat!" You need to go deeper and show them your core values, personal strengths, motivations, aspirations, character traits, foundational beliefs, personality, etc. And you need to do it in a charming, winsome way that makes them like you and want to invite you to join their community.
So how do I get students to do this? All of my students complete that introspection worksheet. We go through it and find the stories, examples, anecdotes, conversations, memories, relationships, and other things from their life that will help us craft a strong and personally insightful narrative. We also make lists of the values, strengths, and key personal qualities we want to showcase. Once we have some topics, outlines, abstracts, or rough drafts, we talk about which stories to tell where, how to tell them well, and what details to include to present the best they have to offer. Then we refine, edit, polish, and enhance over and over until the story sings, but more importantly shows their heart and soul. We also go through all the other application components to ensure consistency, quality, and distinctiveness.
Here's why this works so well: at most highly selective colleges there is a primary reader (or 2-3) who will review everything first and then present it to the admissions committee, who then votes on whether to admit you. That presentation typically goes one of three ways:

1. Total enthusiasm, energy, and excitement. They strongly advocate for admission and paint a clear picture of how you will contribute to their goals and community. Everyone in the room picks up on that energy and is leaning forward in their chairs, looking for reasons to admit you. This is quite rare, generally less than 5 out of every 100 applications, even among those which are "fully qualified." When you do this right, you show depth, meaning, and valuable personal insights so the reviewer is learning about who you are and how you might engage the community they're curating. You come alive off the page as a person, not just another file.
   
2. Business as usual. You're another great applicant in a pile of great applicants. They share a basic review of the facts, your profile, stats, strengths, weaknesses, etc. Maybe someone on the committee finds something they love, and they really push for admission. More likely, not and you get deferred/waitlisted even though there wasn't anything "wrong" with your application. They just didn't love you enough to commit.
   
3. "Here's a stack of 20 applications that I didn't find all that compelling, so we won't present them individually, but you guys are the committee and you make the decisions. So let me know if there are any you want to talk about." In this case, unless there's a letter of endorsement from an athletics coach or your last name matches several buildings on campus, you're probably not getting additional consideration, much less admission. They will regret to inform you.
   

Everything we're doing is designed to help them get to know themselves, present the best they have to offer, and land in that first group. Having top tier essays is the single best way to get there. Get started on brainstorming in the next few weeks so you'll have time to get a few essays completed over the summer.

TW!!!! suicide discussed Hey everyone! I’d love some advice on my situation - thank you so much if you read!
For context, I applied & am committed to Michigan State University and I’m really scared of being rescinded. For context, I have a 3.8 GPA and have never had any disciplinary issues/bad grades/and I take on responsibilities & leadership roles within the school.
However, this semester, more specifically 4th quarter, I had some intense family things going on. My mom was in the mental hospital for awhile and I was home alone taking care of my myself and sister, and a few weeks later (TW) my sister ended up attempting and I didn’t see either of them for awhile, leaving me home alone again by myself taking care of the house. My time was very consumed with those responsibilities & on top of that, struggling mentally because of my family situation. Both administration & my counselor are aware of everything at my school. Obviously my grades slipped and I am failing precalculus and psychology, and it is not looking good. My other grades are fine but don’t compare to my almost all A’s previously.
My counselor said she would advocate for me, and is working with me to draft a letter to explain.
I know, however nothing is ensured. I have a lot of anxiety about this, the situation was out of my control but I cannot picture a scenario where the environment would have been possible for me to achieve the grades I once had.
Is there anything I can do to avoid being rescinded? Thank you so much.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is probably the world's worst manager posting in AskAManager
Concluded as per OOP
Mood Spoiler - immensely satisfying
1 update - Medium
Original - 5th July 2016
Update - 10th February 2022
Editor's Note - As per Alison's wishes, I cannot include her responses.
You can view them on the site via the links.
Comments are also from AskAManager
​
My best employee quit on the spot because I wouldn’t let her go to her college graduation
​
I manage a team, and part of their jobs is to provide customer support over the phone. Due to a new product launch, we are expected to provide service outside of our normal hours for a time. This includes some of my team coming in on a day our office is normally closed (based on lowest seniority because no one volunteered).
One employee asked to come in two hours after the start time due to her college graduation ceremony being that same day (she was taking night classes part-time in order to earn her degree). I was unable to grant her request because she was the employee with the lowest seniority and we need coverage for that day. I said that if she could find someone to replace her for those two hours, she could start later. She asked her coworkers, but no one was willing to come in on their day off. After she asked around, some people who were not scheduled for the overtime did switch shifts with other people (but not her) and volunteered to take on overtime from others who were scheduled, but these people are friends outside of work, and as long as there is coverage I don’t interfere if people want to give or take overtime of their own accord. (Caveat: I did intervene and switch one person’s end time because they had concert tickets that they had already paid for, but this was a special circumstance because there was cost involved.)
I told this team member that she could not start two hours late and that she would have to skip the ceremony. An hour later, she handed me her work ID and a list of all the times she had worked late/come in early/worked overtime for each and every one of her coworkers. Then she quit on the spot.
I’m a bit upset because she was my best employee by far. Her work was excellent, she never missed a day of work in the six years she worked here, and she was my go-to person for weekends and holidays.
Even though she doesn’t work here any longer, I want to reach out and tell her that quitting without notice because she didn’t get her way isn’t exactly professional. I only want to do this because she was an otherwise great employee, and I don’t want her to derail her career by doing this again and thinking it is okay. She was raised in a few dozen different foster homes and has no living family. She was homeless for a bit after she turned 18 and besides us she doesn’t have anyone in her life that has ever had professional employment. This is the only job she has had. Since she’s never had anyone to teach her professional norms, I want to help her so she doesn’t make the same mistake again. What do you think is the best way for me to do this?
​
Comments were not kind to the OOP
​
Christopher Tracy
Yup. Her career will be fine. No reasonable hiring manager will hear this story and blame the employee for quitting without notice – what was done to her was really shitty.
Dan E
Conversely, if I was in a position to hire this manager and heard this story I would seriously reconsider. This manager made a very poor decision.
James Chism
Yes, the cost of a college degree is far more and more important than the cost of a concert ticket! Did this manager think that because she was such a good employee he could just railroad her into working and not attending her graduation?
​
Update - 6 years later
​
This is about me. I know for a fact it is because this exact thing happened to me in that time frame. And I know exactly who it was.
I’d like to tell this person that I have a general idea of the social norms but (redacted — medical conditions) make it impossible to stay on this side of reality very long. I did however get medicated and become a GM myself that would never be a jerk like he was.
And it wasn’t about the graduation. At freaking all. It was so much more than that. It was about having one day that was just mine.
Joke’s on him though. That diploma has gotten me further in life than I would have gotten without.
​
Comments
​
Unkempt Flatware
I can die happy now. Alison, thank you thank you thank you! This was by far the best letter and answer I have ever read and the question that got me hooked on this blog. I still need to know about the boss’s progress through life all these years.
​
I’m screaming inside too
Same here – it’s these bright spots that give me hope for our collective good! It’s especially heartening to know that the updating LW has made it her goal never to be a terrible manager like the fool who fired her. LW, I wish you all the best.
​
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

This happened a while ago, but I’d love y’all’s feedback. I (18m) and my girlfriend (20f) went to visit a friend of ours from HS. Penny (22f) went to school a few states away in their capital and was staying for a summer term. She had a break before it began, no money to go anywhere, no friends left in town and wanted us to drive out to keep her company. We saved up some money, borrowed a car and drove 10 1/2 hours to get there. She was all excited to see us and said that she was taking us to a show that night at a club for driving all the way there. She said that we’d go dancing, so we brought one casual outfit to dance in, but she said it’d be fine for going to a show. She then told us that she couldn’t afford to feed us at all, so we were going to her grocery store to buy our food. She took us to the fanciest and most expensive food store that I have ever been in, even to this day. We got what we could afford and returned home kinda worn out by then, but she insisted we had to go to this show to that night. So she took us- and made us pay for the tickets ourselves. Apparently she thought that taking someone to a show was reserving tickets for them to pay for and Physically Taking Them To The Show. We were quite tired by the time the show ended kind of late that night and we had fun, but looked forward to bed. When we finally got home, she pulled out a big bottle of rum and magazines that she’d bought at the store and told us that we were going to make an anonymous threat letter to our old boss at a big box store we’d all worked at. She poured herself a drink and got to work looking for letters as we tried to stay awake. We weren’t offered any rum, or even water to drink while she got drunk over the TWO HOURS she spent threatening old Mr Carter. When she was finally done, Penny announced that we were all going to bed- and that her house rules were that me and my girlfriend were forbidden from having sex in her home. She went on and said she’d be able to hear it, that somehow she would be able to tell and that wasn’t something that grownups did - she simply wouldn’t stand for it and she would throw us out right away. With that she marched off to bed. We were both pretty shocked and I was just mad, not because we couldn’t sleep together but because she was ordering us around and would throw us out in the middle of the night. Mostly we were both offended because we weren’t the kind of people who would be tacky enough to obviously and intentionally have sex in a small apartment when we weren’t by ourselves.
Well, the rest of the time we had fun, believe it or not. I guess I’d forgotten how bossy Penny was, and Sam (my gf) was always deferential to her and she fell back in to that pretty fast, although it wasn’t sitting too well with her anymore and I was glad about that. This brings us to the end of the trip and our falling out: Sam and I were running out of money. We’d gone to a bunch of places, eating and drinking and shopping and had been pretty open and loud about our shrinking bankroll. We had enough for the gas to go home and an emergency fund which we weren’t going to use because we were responsible and realistic with money. Beyond that we had maybe $$25 for food or whatever on our way home. So it came as a shock when Sam came and told me on our last morning there that we were going out to dinner that night. Penny had told Sam that it was was customary for guests to treat their hosts for all their hospitality and either give them an expensive gift to complement their decor or treat them to a nice meal. Since she was renting, we were taking her out- and she had made the reservation weeks ago. I had never heard of this, but since my parents had no friends and hers didn’t entertain much, we honestly couldn’t say. I resented it from the beginning, because probably more than once a day, Penny had said this this smartass comment about how we should be really happy/thankful about her letting us stay at her place for free instead of having to pay for a hotel. Only, she wasn’t kidding, she meant it. As dinner approached, we realized that we’d have to blow all our money and probably a fair chunk of the emergency fund as well. We were waiting in our club clothes when Penny came out dressed up fancier than I had ever seen her except for senior prom. We both were immediately alarmed and wanted to know exactly where we were going. She said that it was just really the only nice place in town that the kids went to for nice dates, not that it was fancy. Sam asked about her dress and Penny said she just felt like looking nice for a change. Since she was a card carrying tomboy, Sam was sure we were under dressed. We both worked at upscale department stores and had killer wardrobes, so her not telling us that we were going to need a dress outfit was bullshit. On the way, Penny got more and more excited on the way there, telling us about how her friends had all been there and that she hadn’t because she couldn’t afford it. Alarm bells were now ringing in my ears and I was just about to say we shouldn’t go when she said that we’d arrived. She darted into the fanciest French restaurant in that state’s capital! Sam and I looked like Walmart wannabes while Penny flounced up and asked for her reservation. The walls were hung with silk, the chairs were gold leafed, and the prices were . . . I don’t know how to explain it. The menu looked normal on the left side that listed/described the extravagant food, but when I looked at what everything cost? It looked like a price list for diamond rings. Sam and I were stared at each other and quietly began discussing our options. I wanted to leave, just tell Penny that we couldn’t afford it either and that we’d take her somewhere else. Sam would not have that- she said that we’d be fine, spend the emergency money and move on. Penny had to have heard us saying all this, she had put down her menu and was looking at us when we looked up. Sam asked her what she was going to have, since we had realized that our options were based off of what whatever was leftover from her dinner. Surf and turf she said with a smile. The most expensive thing on the menu. Sam insisted that Penny get what she wanted for her dream meal; I insisted that Sam eat a meal, so she got the cheapest sandwich they had. I had a small side salad, Literally the cheapest thing they had. We had just enough for the bill and a miserable tip, which I still feel bad about.
I have probably never been so mad about a person doing something that they knew was wrong and did it anyway because they knew that they would get away with. I was done. That was it for me and Penny. I’m not able to hide my feelings about people who behave like this and she knew that I was angry. She felt that she had every right to be taken out to dinner and get whatever she wanted (I forgot to add that she purposely got the most expensive meal that was meant for 2 so she’d have food for days) and that I was being a bad guest for making her feel uncomfortable about it. She got all snarky about it towards me afterwards- like I cared- but it made trouble for Sam. It also probably made me and Sam end our 4 year relationship, too, or at least it started it. Which was a shame, really, but maybe for the best.
I still think that since she didn’t do anything for us- LITERALLY NOTHING- that we didn’t owe her shit. If she had fed us, at least once, given us something to drink, besides tap water, paid for our show tix, bought us drinks when we were out, Anything besides letting us sleep on her floor, which she kept making such a big deal about- saving us the price of a hotel. Well, we wouldn’t have needed a hotel if she hadn’t been so lonely and begged us to drive 21 hours and spend tons of money to amuse her. Yes we enjoyed it, but we would have had fun by ourselves at home with our friends, without repercussions for borrowing a car and would have had all that money to spend on things at home.

The last letter I read to you started out with a huge “I miss you”. At the time I meant it with everything I had. I missed the way you smelt, the way you’d hold me, you telling me everything about yourself, things only I knew. That night, in the rain, I told you how it was. I called you out and gave it to you. I asked you if you loved me, hoping the answer was no, and you did say no. But I know that wasn’t true. I know you loved me at one point. I know during that conversation you were confused about your feelings for me. That was our time to be open and honest with each other. Your mouth said one thing, but your eyes told a different story. You betrayed me in an unspeakable way. Hurt me in a way I would never, COULD NEVER, hurt you. And even after everything, I convinced myself that I needed you. But I don’t need you anymore. Maybe I still long for who you were, that boy who would look at me like I lit the world on fire. The boy who would use any excuse to be near me, protect me, hold my hand. But you haven’t been that boy for many years. I was just too naive to see it. In fact, we haven’t been best friends for years, I just didn’t want to let go of who you were, who I thought you were. But I’m ok with letting go now. I hope you get everything you deserve. Sincerely, me.

🔍 We are seeking couples from the 2SLGBTQAI* community from Canada, the US, Australia, New Zealand, the Netherlands, and the UK who are up to 32 weeks pregnant to participate in the iSTORK pilot study (i.e., first trial): Supporting the Transition to Parenthood through Online Sex and Relationship Knowledge.
❓What is STORK: The first online couple-based program designed to enhance knowledge about changes to sexuality during pregnancy and postpartum and skills to cope with these changes. STORK was designed to strengthen couples’ relationships across the transition to parenthood.
📅 What is involved: You and your partner will complete the 5 online modules in pregnancy (1 per week) and a final module at 2 months postpartum. You will also complete 3 surveys—1 pre-program, 1 after the 5th module, and 1 post-program—that gather information about your relationship, your pregnancy experience, your child, and your feedback on the STORK program, including how inclusive or relevant it is to your growing family. At the end of STORK, we will also you to share your experiences with the program in an interview (conducted virtually).
💰 Compensation: As a thank you for your participation, you can receive $63 CAD or currency equivalent ($126 CAD or currency equivalent per couple). Your time is valuable to us!
🌈 Inclusivity matters: STORK requires one member of the couple to be currently pregnant. Otherwise, STORK is open to individuals of all genders, bodies, and sexual orientations. We are specifically interested in understanding how sexual and gendesex diverse couples experience the STORK program!
💌 For more information or to participate in the STORK pilot study contact us at [iSTORK@dal.ca](mailto:iSTORK@dal.ca) or complete our screening survey at https://qualtrics.ca1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0MPyLcurzaMwy3k
Dalhousie University REB approval letter: https://drive.google.com/file/d/10skq7boA8GOliHb1ngiVLwYszIcuMufb/view?usp=sharing

I keep getting messages when I either have no AI workers or when I have one or two for other AI workers of a different letter than the ones that are currently working. For instance, just now I only had AI worker D harvesting, but I kept getting the message that AI worker I was blocked by an object, over and over. Switched to all the vehicles, no other workers. Eventually it said that worker I was unable to finish and dismissed them, but it also said two other workers finished their work and charged me for labor.
Is this just a matter of these messages being delayed from the last time these workers were actually working or is there really a bug that charges you for labor for workers that either don't exist or the system thinks are still working on a previous job?

I got the discharge email on May 1 and like most of us was very curious about the potential refund part.
On May 6, my studentaid.gov updated to show I no longer owed any loans. However Nelnet is still showing my loans on their site as of today. However they have been placed in forbearance now so that’s a positive sign that the discharge is being processed on their end.
This morning, May 14, I have an email from Nelnet saying that I have a new letter so I logged in and it says I have an overpayment and need to verify my address so that I can be issued any refund owed.
I called in and verified my address with a nice rep and she said they didn’t have any info yet on the amount I would be refunded or a timeline but that since my contact info is up to date I don’t have to do anything further and will be contacted again.
Here’s hoping it’s the entirety of my payments so far over the last 10 years (about $30,000!) but we’ll see.
————————————-
Here’s the text of the letter from Nelnet:
Action Needed: You may be owed a refund. Account: EXXXXXXXXX
Dear (me), Our records indicate that we may have received an overpayment on your account listed above. Please contact us through one of these options to verify your address:
• Call Nelnet at 888-486-4722. For our current hours of operation, visit Nelnet.studentaid.gov/content/contact.
• Call us anytime and use the automated system without speaking to a live representative to verify your address; simply follow the prompts.
• Log in to your online account and verify your address by going to the Profile card on the dashboard.
• Write to us at the following address and return this letter after completing the address verification information below: Nelnet P.O. Box 82526 Lincoln, NE 68501-2526 Check this box if the address shown above is correct. If your address is different than what is shown above, please write your correct address here: Street Address: Apartment number, etc.: City, State & ZIP code: We will then finalize the review of your account and issue a refund if one is due. We must verify your address before we can issue any refund due to ensure the refund is sent to your address. We cannot process any refund until your address has been verified.
Please note: • From the time that you call and verify your address, please allow 60 days for receipt of your refund. If we determine you are not owed a refund, we will notify you in writing.
• If your account was paid in full by consolidation or rehabilitation any voluntary payment(s) you made after rehabilitation or consolidation will be forwarded to your new servicer rather than refunded to you.
• This notice pertains only to non-defaulted debts held by the U.S. Department of Education; it does not pertain to debts held by guaranty agencies or to defaulted William D. Ford Federal Direct Loans.

Churzi Iifüerig is Thema: Ich i mim Computershare Account d'E-Mail Adresse fo dere Firma hinterleid woni schon ewigs defür schaffe (nöd schlau, ich weiss). Ich hann genau 1 x pro Johr de Account uufgrüeft um d'Stürunterlage abezlade. Durch en Zuefall hanni d'Firma gwächslet und debi vergässe d'Email-Adresse vorher no auf mim CS Account z'ändere (Depp, ich weiss). Ich hann denn ewigs lang mit Computershare Investor Relations umediskutiert ide Hoffnig, si würdet mir de Account aapasse oder suscht irgendwie hälfe. Leider isch genau s'Gägeteil usecho: Si händ mir min Account blockiert. Ich hann denn nomol aaglüte um z'fröge wie ich de Account Lock wieder weg bechume und sie händ mir denn folgendes gschribe:
"Your investor center account contains managment decision lock. In order to remove lock, we require letter of instructions affixed with notary".
Ich hann denn nomol aaglüte und gfröget was das heisst, aber die händ au nöd gwüsst was genau ich do muess mache. (kurze Randnotiz: Ich hann no nie sonen schlächte Kunden-Service erlebt..).
Hed öpper fo oi en Ahnig was damit gmeint isch? Muess ich "eifach" ufs Notariat und min Pass lo bestätige oder was wänd die?

I have added a few things to the workbook, so it is possibly more useful for an actual short campaign now.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1gcKSJUXNn0PTr5hmhe2Xsu7uqveIRN2view?usp=sharing
Hangers-On have been added, with four slots per fighter. So you can go crazy with the pets and the brutes and hangers on. More slots can be added if needed. Hired guns have not been added as of yet.
A stash sheet has been added. And an "unrestricted" worksheet trading choice. For when a gang captures a fighter and gets some of their exclusive weaponry, or for a Gang of Outlanders who cannot use the trading post and have to rely on stealing from their dead enemies. This Unrestricted option can break things, like with other builders, it allows a ganger to take weapons that they shouldn't have etc.
Next jobs over the coming months are to make a quick reference roster, that fills itself out as you build your gang. And to add missing units like hired guns. As ever I will be error checking all of this slowly, so if anyone wants to help out by building some gangs on this and possibly finding errors, please come on over to the Discord.
https://discord.gg/qbsZbdmm4t

Hi all. I would like to recommend the most interesting work by Ernst Axel Knauf. I will quote the most interesting quotes (from my point of view) here. But I still advise you to read the entire article, as it is written in a very accessible and understandable language.
author's profile at the academy: https://unibe-ch.academia.edu/ErnstAxelKnauf?swp=tc-au-28366493
read the article: https://archive.org/details/arabo-aramaic-and-arabiyya-from-ancient-arabic-to-early-standard-arabic-200-ce-600-ce
"Nabatean Arabic became some sort of standard Arabic as early as the second century bce, but it was a spoken, not a written language, and it was, in the beginning, of no interest to anyone outside the relatively small circle of Arabian international traders and shippers. It became a written language between the third and fourth century ce in post-Nabatean texts.96 500 years of Old Arabic–Ancient Arabic coexistence and/or diglossia can now be considered."
"The Nabatean script is a cursive script. It was developed for writing on “paper” or its ancient equivalents. It reflects the needs of a society of traders who had to keep accounts and set up contracts. Only secondarily, with the onset of conspicuous architectural consumption at the end of the first century bce, their utilitarian cursive script was put to lapidary, epigraphic use. Unfortunately for the perception of Nabatean society through modern eyes, it is their “luxury” (and basically non-essential) written record which dominates the data base, whereas the main output of Nabatean scribal activities, the papyri, have only survived in meager installations, like the Nabatean papyri from the Babatha archive.106"
"With the imperial crisis of the second half of the third century, Greek lost its splendor in the East: the Parthians' Sasanid successors wrote Middle Persian (and Aramaic, for that was the language of their economical powerhouse, the Iraq); Arabs ( if not Christianized) turned away from both Greek and Aramaic."
"Aramaic, no longer in use for written business transactions among the Arabs themselves, remained present in pre-Islamic Arabia from the fourth through the sixth/seventh centuries through the Jewish and Christian communities which felt no urge to translate their scriptures into Arabic; a fact which one day early in the seventh century ce would instigate a failed merchant from Mecca to give his fellow Arabs a “liturgy” or “recitation” (in Arabic: qurʾān) in plain Arabic, obviously being of the opinion that the other monotheistic religions had failed, or neglected, to do so."
"From time to time the assumption resurfaces that the Arabic script did not develop from Nabatean Aramaic but from Syriac. It can be traced back to early Muslim scholarship,128 but it has no other argument in its favor than the relationship of the written word to the line: while Nabatean is sublinear (the letters are hanging from the line), Syriac and Arabic are supralinear (the letters are standing on the line). This feature can be explained by the easier assumption that Nabatean writing (the origin of all individual letters) was influenced by a Syriac adstrate in Arabian scribal practice during the fourth and fifth centuries ce. (Hoyland, “Language and Identity,” 196, with n. 50.)"
"Cursive writing with diacritical points indicates that throughout the fourth through sixth centuries ce Arabian merchants continued to trade merchandise and to keep records of their business in the Early Standard Arabic which they had inherited from the Nabateans.144"
"The cultic origins of Poetic Old Arabic with its archaic and, in prose and everyday speech quite superfluous case-endings are, especially since the discovery of Avdat 1, no longer questionable. On the other hand, Luxenberg has reopened the question of how pagan (instead of non-standard Christian) pre-Islamic Arabic really was.151"...
I’ll stop at the most interesting point, the article is very informative, be sure to read the footnotes and bibliography. Good luck.

So, I’ve had issues with Walgreens before where they would only fill 1 month supply of Mounjaro despite telling me they’re filling 3 months. At that point, I’d transferred my script and gotten a 3-month supply from another pharmacy (my dose was not in shortage at that time).
Just recently, Walgreens tells me they have 3 months supply of Mounjaro in stock but that as of this month, my insurance has decided they will no longer cover 3 months supply and only covers 1 month supply going forward. I have not heard any such announcement from my insurance. I relayed this to Walgreens who tells me my insurance changed my script from 3 months to 1 month when they tried running it.
Does this seem like Walgreens is just making stuff up about my insurance (because wouldn’t insurance be mandated to send a letter or something like that if such a change was being implemented)?

The EXTREMELY detailed, mega-anxiety edition!!! Major events like consult and surgery day are labeled like this:
——— EVENT TITLE ———
Surgeon was Dr. David Whitehead and I saw him on Long Island (New Hyde)
Summarized list of major dates:
Consult: July 19 2023 Mental health letter acquired: August 9 Dates discussed: September 12 Pre-op appointment: December 18 Surgery day: January 8 2024 Post-op: January 17
November 11th 2022: Emailed northwell health for the first time, they emailed back saying to call. I was too anxious so I avoided it for a few months.
Called northwell a few months later but got too anxious talking to the person who picked up. They were being normal and talking normally, it was just personal anxiety on my part.
October 2022 - Early March 2023: Spent time talking to trans friends and family members about their timelines and processes for top surgery.
Looked into Penn medicine for a bit but wasn’t happy with the surgeons there, specifically as a nonbinary person. The patient navigational team however is lovely.
March 2: emailed Penn health patient navigation
March 3-10: correspondence and phone calls w patient navigation (absolutely wonderful people, some of the easiest phone calls I’ve ever had) Got lots of into on surgeons, things I’d need, processes etc.
Date unknown: phone call to Penn medicine asking about surgeons and possibly setting up as a patient (v long wait time on phone) Surgeon I had heard good things about only works w CHOP program and I’m was too old for that program. Other surgeons I was v iffy on.
March 23rd: Back to square 1. Called northwell again to set up an appointment. Everyone I spoke to was really nice. Could have set up an appointment within the week but decided to wait till the end of the semester. Scheduled a trans care and primary care appointment for May
Couple of calls In between for confirmations. Trans care appointment got moved around a bit and ended up being moved to a phone call.
May 8th: Trans care call: Basic preliminary questions like: Emergency contact, what you’re looking for, are you thinking of looking into hormones, experience w dysphoria or dysmorphia, mental health, and eating/nutritional concerns, things you might want doc to know, piercings or tattoos, do you do any drugs or drink often, etc. total call time was about 20 minutes. Doctor was incredibly kind, I still experienced a good deal of anxiety but the call was super easy, welcoming, and friendly. Got sent contact referrals for the surgeons, as well as trans-friendly therapists under my insurance.
May 9th: started looking at list of therapists and making respective emails and calls. Checking per session costs and double checking insurance. Most charge 100-150 per session. Got in contact w one.
May 10th: Called w first therapist talking about what I’m looking for, where I am in this process, if parents are supportive, and talking about costs. She was very friendly and affirming, wants to have a few sessions to get to know me and my situation before writing a letter. Understandable and expected, but frustrating.
May 15th: Primary care appointment: Went to northwell health primary care, parkinglot was a little scary (just a large lot with a lot of cars) but everyone working there’s is super kind. Office is incredibly affirming, pride flags and lgbtq+ art everywhere. Gave my insurance card, filled out some paper work, got called in pretty quickly. I have a needle phobia and medical trauma so I was panicking a bit in the office, nurse was good w me about it and doctor was very kind, I just requested to not have any blood work done that day and that was totally fine, so I could schedule that at a later date and go w a friend. Recommended to get blood work done before scheduling a consult w a surgeon. Also prescribed me a single dose anxiety med for the bloodwork which I was very happy about. I found over time that the anxiety meds unfortunately do little to nothing for my panic attacks personally when it comes to needles but regardless having a doctor acknowledge and respect that fear and listen to me was incredibly helpful and reassuring.
May 30th: Got blood work done in a different lab, went w a friend. Scheduling for that is super easy, I think I did it online actually I don’t entirely recall. they do take walk ins but I made an appointment to minimize complications and make sure I could prepare properly. Front desk/lobby area was a little spooky, but I think that is mainly just bc of my social anxiety. They take a urine sample, you give them your prescription, eventually they call you over for blood work. Quick and easy, tech was v nice and having a friend with me was incredibly helpful. Probably the best I’ve ever done with a needle despite the fact that I did still panic and get very lightheaded lol.
Got blood work results back within the next couple days, all looks a-okay! Neat :)
June 15th This day was incredibly difficult. I had my first session with a therapist to establish some ground knowledge around my dysphoria and the way that I view myself. Top surgery is something that I know from research and related experience Can be difficult and expensive to get and can take time, so much of my prep work has been on the understanding of taking things a step at a time and just knowing that the current way things are doesn’t have to be forever. It allowed me to be able to live with myself while prioritizing my health better. This read to the therapist as “not having the level of dysphoria [she’s] come to expect and look for in someone who is trans” and was largely based off the fact that I don’t want to go on hrt. Past that point I started to break down because now my method of learning to live with myself felt like it was actively going to work against me and prevent me from getting top surgery. I’m not good at talking about my dysphoria, I can’t imagine it’s easy for anyone, especially to a stranger I just met. It was rough, and I felt incredibly mentally drained after ending the session.
June 19th Called it quits with the first therapist, I felt incredibly disrespected and the one session we had put me in a mental spiral for days. It can feel some times in this process like the people you have to get permission from need you to be severely depressed and unable to wait another second for this procedure just in order to take you seriously.
After I left that therapist, I immediately got back to the list to find someone new. Spoke to a new therapist via email, but my insurance is kinda weird (Blue Cross Blue Shield out of state) so its off putting to some people. This therapist recommended I go through the office she started out at (Heart and Soul Counseling)
————- Time Skip ——————
IM BACK its time for some record keeping. Got super overwhelmed and lost the energy to document my process for some time so here goes.
HEART AND SOUL COUNSELING: My experience w/ this therapy office was mostly good. The person in charge, Jesse, was absolutely lovely and responsive. Never spoke in person, but any text/email interaction was prompt, respectful, and kind. The office is stellar with email/text communication, so I only ever had to call them once when I was initially inquiring about the office. This is something I wish all therapy/counseling centers did better, eliminated a ton of my anxiety and hesitation to speak to therapists.
I got set up w someone as quickly as possible and established what my goal was (to acquire letter document for my surgery team). I attended multiple session w the therapist, she was a kind lady but the sessions were unfortunately p miserable for me. We didn’t fit well, but I was willing to stick it out rather than backtrack on my process. She also did not invalidate me or accuse me of not being trans which was a major step up from my first therapy experience. Once I acquired my letter I did stop therapy there, I kindly explained to the therapist that it wasn’t a good match, but I may honestly explore my options at the office in the future. Receptionist there was also lovely and they had a cool fish tank.
———- CONSULT STARTS HERE —————
July 19th: CONSULT!!! My mama and I went to Dr. David Whiteheads office for a consult. Parking was a nightmare so I’m super glad I didn’t have to drive for this one (ty mama). Consult went really well, and the staff were all super friendly. Dr. Whitehead is cool, very chill energy and a bit intimidating, but I’m scared of everyone so that’s nothing new. First question he asked me is what I wanted/what he could do for me which caught me more off guard than it should have? I didn’t realize going into this process how many times people ask you what you’re having done even if it’s already written down, because there’s so much variety in what you can look for in the results.
We talked about the procedure, went through a slideshow n stuff, and discussed how I wanted a flat chest w/ no nipple preservation. They made sure to specify that my mental health professional letter had to include that I did not want nipple preservation because thats technically a “non-standard” appearance. Also had the first breast exam I’ve ever had in my life. Can’t say i’m a fan (not that I need to worry about that anymore!) Took pictures n measurements n such, and also discussed recovery supplies and care w me and my mom.
August 9th: After a plethora of painfully awkward therapy sessions, a decent amount of crying, and a couple breakdowns in friends cars/backyards, I got my therapist letter and sent it to the surgeons office. It ended up needing minor revisions to which I contacted Jesse from Heart and Soul and he got me the revised letter immediately. Unfortunately the surgical coordinator was out of office for the rest of the month the next day ;w;. Is how it be.
September 12th: Got a call from Surgical coordinator mid-painting class that I stepped out to take. Started discussing surgical dates!! She was kind enough to email the dates to me which was lovely because I was absolutely shaking/mind blank haha. There was an option for January 8th which felt like an absolute miracle the way it would work with my school schedule. It would give me a solid two weeks recovery time before spring semester began. Because it would be a couple months out, I was asked to contact her in the second week of October to submit documents to insurance.
(Timeline note: earliest date offered was in early December)
October 10th: Documents sent to insurance, predetermination started
October 30th: Received mail from my insurance approving my procedure as medically necessary (YAY) But! This is also where things get,,, fun! Dr Whitehead’s surgical coordinator, Alyssa, is a blessing and was very helpful and prompt with me despite the fact that I had to email her pretty constantly during this general time which I still feel bad about.
Around this time, my mom got diagnosed with breast cancer, which I reported to the surgical coordinator because it influences my family history (grandmother also had breast cancer). It was asked that I get genetic testing done because this could impact my surgical procedure. Now I’m handling the setup on this between helping my mom in her process setting up consults and considering her options because there of course is a lot of crossover to the steps I’ve already completed and am familiar with.
November 1st: Very kind person at cancer genetics calls me, sends me a family history questionnaire to fill out before I can be scheduled to see a genetic counselor. Filled out the questionnaire the same day.
November 8th: Called cancer genetics to check about scheduling, office was not open so left a message. Got a call back later in the day. I have a virtual appointment with a Genetic counselor Tuesday the 14th. Current plan is a mailed saliva genetic test but I’m going to ask if theres anything I can do to get results/materials quicker. If I can’t get results/feedback by December 8th my surgery date may get deferred.
Trying not to stress too much because there is little to nothing I can do about this, and I just don’t want to be sad. I’ve kept telling myself throughout this process to not get excited and not let myself believe anything is solid because something could happen at any time that might mess up my schedule or plan, and If I convince myself I’m in the clear, those changes will hurt a lot more. So far I think thats been a good move, because this really sucks.
My surgery date is still officially scheduled as of now as well as my first post-op. I will also ideally have pre-surgical testing done December 18th should I be cleared by genetics in time (Fingers crossed!)
ALSO! Def lean on friends if/when you can during this process. It can absolutely be challenging, and having a support system is incredibly important and helpful. I’m super lucky to have really lovely and supportive friends that are around to listen to me and send me pictures of stupid little animals.
November 9th: My mama is scheduled for her double mastectomy on December 4th
November 10th: Did some shopping with my mama for recovery supplies for double mastectomy/top surgery. Having watched a million and a half transition/top surgery videos and tiktoks and having read all the blogs and posts and tweets makes you a great support for someone suddenly faced with an upcoming double mastectomy! We might go shopping this weekend for some button ups and zip ups for her, clothes shopping is better done when you can try stuff on
November 14th: Meeting w genetic counselor: Victoria Webb, one of the loveliest medical care workers I’ve ever met. Had a virtual appointment with her to discuss and set up genetic testing. I explained to her about my situation w the proximity of my surgery and tight deadline as well as my willingness to do a blood test instead of a saliva kit to get results quicker. She was so incredibly kind and good with me, ended up being able to do a saliva kit and get results in time she deserves every good thing in life.
December 18th: pre-surgical testing: This was at the main hospital, everyone was really nice but I had a really bad panic attack despite being on Xanax.
The process is sort of like getting a physical. Measurements like weight and blood pressure get taken, lots of preliminary health questions. The people working with me were really kind and I was very open with them about my anxiety, it was visually apparent though anyway because I started crying the second we even started talking about the blood draw.
Once the equipment was actually brought into the room I started to panic. Both of the women working with me were really kind and helpful and tried to distract me and keep me talking the entire time, but I did still have a really horrible panic attack. Every muscle in my body locked up and I lost all my color, took a bit to get back to a spot where I could move and talk properly because my speech was affected too. It was a bit scary but funny to think about in post. Thanked the medical staff for being patient w me as always, a good portion of the anxiety is also guilt about making things harder for them. Got through it tho. Def eat before presurgical if allowed, I didn’t and that probably didn’t help!!
———- SURGERY DAY ————-
January 8th:
Ok so surgery day:
This day was very scary. Got my phone call the Friday prior for my surgery time which ended up being 1pm and I was asked to arrive around 11. Got there at 10 and went in at 10:30.
Called up to check in then in waiting room till someone brought me back to change. I told her right away about my anxiety with the iv bc that’s legit all I could think about. Got changed right after. I was generally shaky and a little disoriented the entire time because I was panicking but everyone was very patient with me. Clothes and belongings go in a bag in a locker and you get two gowns one that faces back and one that faces front. I was given underwear and a pad as well because lucky me I got my period a couple days before my surgery.
The pre-op area is a lot of little cubicles with curtain divider things, blue soft chairs, and medical equipment. Everyone I met and spoke to was very kind, but any time someone even suggested starting my iv I would panic. I was informed it would have to be placed in my hand and that terrified me, I’m especially anxious and sensitive about my hands and fingers. I think doctors and nurses tend to misunderstand exactly where my fear is with needles and ivs. It isn’t the pain that scares me, but the concept of veins and and anything being in them. Even writing this right now is horrible so I’m going to stop w any further detail. I spent the entire two-ish hours of pre-op absolutely terrified about this iv.
I wasn’t really keeping track of time but dr whitehead came in to do markings for surgery. They had cool rainbow socks on,big fan. Having your chest drawn on and just like, moved around n shit is such an experience. Felt bad because I kept losing my balance but doctor Whitehead is cool and I am 98% less scared about them now.
Probably my most favorite person I met during my entire hospital experience was the anesthesiologist. I know he told me what his name was but I couldn’t focus on or retain information at the time. He told me we could essentially put me to sleep with gas before putting the iv in and for the first time in probably a solid week I felt like I could calm down a little. He took a look at my hand and arm to check my veins which always does freak me out a bit but I’m more used to that kind of thing at this point and I know nothing bad is going to happen. One of the nurses came in with the iv equipment and he let her know that were going to wait till in the or which was also incredibly helpful because I absolutely panicked when I saw that little supply kit again.
V nice lady brought me into the or, I’d never been in one before it was cool. They had a little music speaker which was really cool. Took off blue jacket gown and they helped me onto the table. They put a warm blanket over my legs and my chest to help me calm down. Before long they gave me a mask w fun happy sleepy time gas, they let me keep my arms on my chest for a while which was really nice because I was still scared. I started getting loopy pretty fast but I still heard when someone mentioned where the iv equipment was and panicked a little because of that. I remember feeling them take my hand for that but never actually felt anything happen. Just some fear but the gas was v helpful obvi. Someone said they would see me in a little bit, and then I was groggily waking up in recovery.
Recovery was a little rough bc the iv was still there (fully wrapped up so I couldn’t see it though which was rad) but I was still really anxious about it until it was taken out and when it was taken out. For anyone that struggles w this i did not feel them remove it, just the tape. Everything was mentally much easier after that. After a while, going over instructions w parents, a cracker , some ginger ale and some juice, my dad helped me Get dressed and I was helped out to the car in a wheel chair. Ride was smooth bc of remaining numbness and meds except a few Bumps in the road
TOP SURGERY GOTTEN
My post op date was scheduled for Jan 17th and that’s the day I got my drains out followed by several post op check-ins. First week of recovery was miserable but things exponentially approved each day past that, and I went back to school in person two weeks post-op with driving and item-carrying assistance from friends!
Will upload recovery notes at a later date! Feel free to message me with any questions, more than happy to answer and give info! I’m a bit over four months out from surgery now and thriving 🥳

So I was looking through AO3 define a fanfiction cuz I was bored and something that just drives me insane so much is when authors side to use like fancy lettering that are really hard to read in their summaries cuz I'm dyslexic so I already have a hard time reading a lot of stuff but then when you use fonts that are like cursive or Don't know what it's called but this is literally a word directly from the one I saw that made me want to talk about this "𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕔𝕠" I don't know what this font is called but it drives me insane It is so hard to read please I am begging you if you are making a summary please put it in regular font