Since I was a kid, I knew how my parents were. I used to hate them; I felt left out. My parents used to sleep separately. My mom and us would sleep in a different house, and my father would sleep in our childhood home. Sometimes we slept together. We were that type of middle-class family—my parents could buy us our wants and needs, but due to business, they were busy. My dad sometimes went to his childhood province. Being a second child, I was kind of a brat and talked back to my parents. But as I grew up, I got shy and became an introvert. It’s hard for me to share my problems with people or even my parents.
We have a lot of houses, specifically my grandparents’. They are upper-class people. Different people, relatives, and nannies took care of us while our parents traveled or were busy with business. I didn’t care much, but in 5th grade, I learned my dad cheated on my mom with my mom’s best friend. They got married secretly and had a child. It really bothered me. I started to change; I got quiet, shy, and very introverted while my mom was suffering. But I also hated her instead of hating my dad because she didn’t really care about us. She cared more about our sibling. She didn’t even know how to be a wife to my dad. Still, my dad divorced his second wife and got back together with my mom.
By the way, when we found out about the cheating, my mom was also pregnant with her 6th child. Now we’re seven siblings altogether. I also have an online friend who I met online. I started sharing my problems with her to the point she even changed her IG user to my name, like @(myname)ismygirlfriend. And by the way, she’s not my girlfriend; she’s just a friend. Then one day, my mom spanked me and told me to go take a shower. I brought my phone with me and chatted with that online friend in the bathroom. My mom checked the bathroom because it didn’t have a lock. She caught me and was trying to get my phone, but I was pulling it back because I had sent a message saying, "I hope my parents divorce." That message really ruined my life. Do I regret sending that message? Maybe yes, maybe no.
Another thing is my diary, where there’s a page saying I hate her and I wish she hadn’t become my mom. I wished my dad’s youngest sister was my mom because I was jealous of my cousin and how my auntie treated them. For months I was suffering because my mom was hurting me almost every day, and I was suffering almost every day. One thing for sure was considering suicide. I was suffering from depression and anxiety at that time, but my mom doesn’t believe in that stuff when it comes to me because my parents said I was just being distracted by a devil.
Since I was a kid, I knew I was not the favorite child, but it’s okay; I learned to live with it. I also developed a habit of stealing money from my parents, and they found out about it twice. They always bring it up when something is missing; they would immediately ask me. By the way, part of my diary is about me trying to change, but it’s hard when they keep bringing up my past. All those bad habits were left in my past, but you choose to bring them up whenever there’s a topic about those habits. You would bring it up. Yes, I still constantly leave whenever you talk and try to teach me a lesson, but because you guys keep bringing up my past. Sorry if I was disrespectful, but I'm really tired of you guys abusing me mentally and physically. You’re ruining me day by day. I can’t wait to leave this house and prove something. If being boastful is what my parents call me, I don’t care. I’m tired. There’s a lot that you guys don’t know about because these are only a few things you they did to me.

So I am 25 now, and I just finished college at 23, today's marks my 2 years after graduating.
Before talking about the problem I think it is better to share some of my life for context. So I was majoring in digital art in japan and mainly learn about anime style art and all the related stuff to the industry, after I graduate I went back to my home country because at the time it was corona and there isnt many (or any tbh because no one in my class manage to land a job)job opening and my portofolio is still pretty bad since basically the college is my first real formal education for art, my high school and junior high art class is basically non existent hence lack of overall quality and mastery too. other reason for going back home is also to be with my parent, and just making my sister burden less because we live with toxic aunt and it is pretty stressful and causes my mom to lashes out sometimes. while my parents is close to 60 they are healthy, and since most artist doing freelance job anyway and I was planning to be freelancer too later on so I am thinking it could work.
And now 2 years passed what I didnt expect is how high is acceptable quality nowadays,hence I still cant make a living as a freelancer but now I am at the point where I understand what choices I have and what kind of quality and art type is needed in the industry nowadays, hence I am starting grinding by posting art as frequent as possible now.
But the aunt toxicity is becoming worse with each passing day, and now every neighbour actually hate us because she says we dont feed her or tend to her need, and everyday keeps on scolding and bully my mom while also making a mess in the house, it is becoming so bad that my dad that works outside the town even got scolded on phone for no reason.(for clarification we paid all the bill for 15 years now and she free to use it, the only thing she paid is her food but since she cant work because of overdose even those we gave her, and yeah her argument we dont give her food is we dont buy her what she wants(mostly super oily and greasy and expensive food)) (As for why we dont kick the aunt out, every other family actually threathen us and says we are asshole if we did so, even though they live with her just for a year and almost divorced with their partner because of her, but when we took her back boom we are the asshole now, so yeah kinda not possible and I tried, but being the 'young ones' basically means I dont have rights)
And everytime my mom wanna vent the main target is always my dad and me, with the main topic is complaint about me still struggling, which starting to get to him mentally, same goes with my aunt and other relatives they did the same too to my dad and me.
Hence because of all the said condition, I am thinking to just move out and getting work in japan company or other places because now my art is on the point where I feel confident is on par with the industry standard, because at this point, although I feel bad to my sister and dad I think with me leaving is actually gonna give a better condition because with that no one knows my situation and it isnt possible to use that to pressure my dad.
Sorry for kinda long post, basically my question is, do you think I am wise in thinking to move out ?because it seems like everyone hates and super salty to me and my dad so I think it is better if I leave so they cant say anything anymore, and also I could have more calm enviroment to live in.

One’s day of birth is a day to be celebrated. Life can be beautiful, and so it deserves to be cherished— worshipped individually for each person. One day just to them and those they hold dear, where they are offered cake and gifts curated to their liking. For just one day a year, a person may be a god.
At least, that is how Eliot does things.
He stands over a cake, flavored pistachio and decorated accordingly. There are two cakes— the other is a chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting and chocolate ganache spread on top, adorned with raspberries and chunks of chocolate. Decorated by Irving who said, and Eliot could quote;
”Nobody but him— and perhaps Walt— will consume that monstrosity.”
So Eliot prepared for such a case, and once everything was set up accordingly in one of the Famiglia Headquarters lounging areas— cakes displayed, drinks sorted and set aside, cups, plates, utensils, other snacks and gifts all in their rightful places—
“Are we ready?” Irving asks, suddenly returning, to which Eliot nods.
“We are. Go get him.”
[Happy Birthday to George Walton Lucas, author of the beloved American film franchise, Star Wars. While the true person may not be the brightest of stars, the character is a beloved and ambitious boy, one we must gather to celebrate.
All Puzos, come say happy birthday to your favorite little radioactive grape.]

Prologue

Hello and welcome to my post. I will subdivide this into two large parts. One will cover my thoughts, feelings, my hopes and dreams...While the other will tell you the specifics of how I pass the time, what topics interest me, what passions do I posses. I believe that at the end of this leap into my inner world, you dear reader, will have all the necessary information to judge whether we are compatible or not.

Part I
I am writing this in the hopes of finding something that I lack. Lately I have had this feeling, this tinge of melancholy within the dephts of my being, this yearning to find a kindred spirit, another Soul, much like mine, to form a bond with. Perhaps Loneliness is the right word for what is bothering me, but to use it seems to carry with it a connotation of ungratefulness. Ungratefulness for the people that I do have in my life, although none of them, of course, have the connection to me that I seek here.

I have found it increasingly necessary to seek in this Life a sort of purity of thought. What I mean is, I have began to undestand what ideas and concepts are ultimately compatible with my inner most Self, ergo what guidelines I have to follow to feel the most whole. Naturally I have likewise realised what I cannot add to my Self and what I will henceforth reject with all the power that I posses.

With this new context in mind, I now follow on the path of self improvement. I will now begin to mold my Self into my perfected idea of how the Self should be. This is certainly a significant undertaking, one that will not be easy to follow through on but one that I ultimately have to do. To me such context is essential. It is akin to a Guiding Star shining in the night. I will follow this Star for without it I am lost in the vast Darkness.

Looking back at my life, it was suboptimal, especially if one compares the way it molded me to how I will now mold myself. I suppose I must look on with a hint of regret at all that time which one might consider to be lost. Still... I try to stave off such decisively negative interpretations, after all, I have ultimately came to these conclusions. That means that somewhere along the line I had to have picked up on enough of such ideas for them to become so cemented in my consciousness. Well, either that or I was always like this, but in that case I can at least thank my life up to this point for not being able to supress such manifestations of my inner most Self.

To add to the topic of my life, I must admit that not all the battles have yet been won, not all the Demons vanquished, not every Mountain climbed. I want you to keep such things in mind when deciding whether or not to approach me. Many will shy away, I undestand that much, but the pursuit of true Companionship is just another such battle. Having said all that I do believe that being able to overcome hurdles together carries with it a certain appeal. That is to say, what's the fun in joining once the Game is already over?

I don't shy away from such challenges, perhaps to a fault. Certain troubles that I faced in the past carry with them a long shadow over my current health and well being. Still, I intend to change little in this regard other than the proficiency with which I will clash the current of my Will against the cliffs of Life.
Part II
In this part of my post I will tell you about my interests and hobbies, I will try to be thorough, commonality in this regard is rather important to build a relationship
History. I have had an interest in history for almost a decade now, it started back in school and developed from there. Well, now that I think about it one could argue that it started even earlier in my life as I liked watching the odd historic documentary or film aired on television but it wasn't regular back then, I never actively sought it out. I am mostly interested in European history in the period between the 18th-20th century but I sometimes branch out to other time periods and other parts of the world. I watch various channels related to history and read articles and sometimes books. I have recently got a few books on the German revolution of 1848/1849 and a historical magazine on the Thirty Years' War. Besides that I try to visit museums sometimes.
Literature. Especially old novels. I like to immerse myself in the Worlds of these books, I tend to read them while listening to thematically fitting music and take my time with them. One time you are following a troubled Youth in his quest for spiritual understanding of the world, another you see the aged and decrepit Doctor gambling his very Soul on the promises of abtaining satisfaction in earthy pleasures, then again your olfaction notices the most pleasant scent known to man even as the one eminating it has the appearance of a revolting Frog. These and many other stories open up to you once you decide to set foot into the literary World.
Languages. I know three, with one being a bit rusty. I am currently working intently on strengthening it. I believe that if I continue to apply myself in this regard then I should be able to finally conquer it. What language am I working on? Well, if you were to stack all the major works in it they would be as tall as a house... It is fun to go through different works in multiple languages, the same goes for film, games and such.
Games. I recently played Cyberpunk 2077. Well as recently as I played any major story centric game. Now that the dust has settled and the bugs mostly removed...It's not that bad. The main questline at least. Besides that I tried Fallout 76 (Very average, I'm dissapointed with what they made the "RPG" system) and I might give Deus Ex Manking Divided another spin (since it's somewhat similar to Cyberpunk when it comes to its aesthetics). Dark Souls is one of my favorite series, I still haven't beaten Elden Ring though. When it came out I wasn't in the right mindset to invest a hundred hours into it, with all those bosses and difficult locations. I think I'll only consider playing it if I am streaming it to someone. I am generally interested in either streaming games or having the person I am talking to stream them to me. To be specific I mean streaming to a single person while being on call. Besides that I'm a big fan of Paradox strategy games, especially Europa Universalis IV and Heats of Iron IV, I tend to only play single player since I find multiplayer with many people to be rather stressful but on the other hand I have nothing against a co-op game. I'm not the best player though, despite the ammount of hours I have in them. Another great game I would mention would be Dragon's Dogma. A very underrated RPG. I recently beat it again and it was an atmospheric and interesting experience. It is one of those games that feel like they have an endless ammount of depth and constant new secrets to discover.
Anime and Manga. In recent times my interest in them has waned but I still watch the occasional series here and there. Like Cyberpunk Edgerunners (Which I found to be rather mediocre) and the very good first season from the new arc of Bleach. Some of my favourite series include: Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Death Note, Fate;Zero, Psycho Pass, Code Geass and Attack on Titan. I wouldn't mind if you were to introduce me to some new series, maybe based on the ones I mentioned. My favourite Manga is Berserk which I still follow, althought I am still not certain on the direction that the new author is taking. I suppose it really is a matter of contention whether a somewhat (or considerably warped) vision is better than an unfinished work. One could argue that a few novels remain unfinished and possess a macabre appeal to them as such.
Music. Classical music has a very special place in my heart. A few of my favourite pieces would be: Clair de Lune, Nocturne Op. 9 No.2, Devil's Trill Sonata, Danse Macabre, Valse Sentimentale, Symphony No. 7 in A Major, Op. 92: II. Alegreto (by Beethoven) and Suite from Swan Lake, Op. 20a: I. Scene. Moderato. There are more but these ones always invoke something in me when I listen to them. Besides Classical I also enjoy listening to Synthwave, old Western pop and J-pop, both modern and from the 20th century.
Esotericism. I am interested in things spiritual, mystical, magical and esoteric. I have read religios texts, magical grimoires, introductions to various schools of thought. It is interesting to me.
Epilogue
Hopefully I was able to cast the spotlight upon my inner World in a clear and unequivocal manner. I feel the need to add to the aforementioned that I am rather introverted, which means that I tend to dislike large social gatherings. I managed to condition myself to be able to endure the presense of large groups of people but it isn't something that I would seek out in most cases. Besides that I am neurodivergent and suffer from certain issues with mental health. I have to take medication to keep myself under control. They work well enough but certain days are harder than others. I respect the struggle that others have with mental health but in the context of a relationship I have my limits, no one with BDP for instance. I am also not looking for anything casual. I understand than one cannot demand depth and meaning from a conversation with an absolute stranger, that is akin to trying to build a sand castle right before the waves strike but I ask at least that you enter with a mindset that this might become something of significance. I also do want to say that I am completely Monogamous. My preference? The sickly, pale, intellectual who watches rain droplets slide down the window in Autumn. Lastly, if I enjoy the company of a person I tend to not want to let them go.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post and have a good day. I ask that you send a DM instead of a chat and that you give your thoughts on my title in the opening of your message.
Goodbye...Or perhaps untill we meet again

A little over a year ago, I was diagnosed with a molar pregnancy and told that the pregnancy was not viable. I was in between PCP providers (had relocated recently), but was referred to someone who diagnosed the molar pregnancy,l and then referred me to a different OBGYN who they claimed had more experience with molars, and who would be better able to perform the D&C. That specialist couldn’t fit me in for a couple of weeks, so I had to wait.
When they finally did perform the D&C, it was about 3 weeks after the initial molar diagnosis (and about a 5 weeks after I’d first seen the doctor; I was about 12 weeks along when the D&C was performed). The procedure seemed to go as normal; two weeks after it I had a post-op checkup where the specialist said everything looked good and like I was healing like normal. I felt better, everything seemed in the clear, and I was ready to move forward.
About 2.5 weeks after that post-op checkup for the D&C, I was just eating breakfast and stood up to put my bowl in the sink, and suddenly had a massive hemorrhage. I started to pass out within a few minutes, and my partner kept me conscious and called for an ambulance.
I ended up having two additional massive hemorrhages within 24 hours at the hospital and ended up hospitalized for five days. The team at this hospital (separate from the one I’d gone to for the first D&C) said that the first D&C had been incomplete and there was still a significant amount of tissue that had not been removed. It had started to spread, it had placed significant pressure on my right femoral artery, and that contributed to the massive hemorrhaging. Ended up needing an Angioseal on my right femoral artery, as well as a blood transfusion and a second D&C. Up until day 4 at the hospital, they were telling me there was a significant possibility that they would need to perform an emergency hysterectomy in order to save my life, and if the second D&C failed. Because it was a confirmed molar pregnancy via genetic testing and my HCG levels were abnormally high, they said there was a cancer risk attached and if those HCG levels did not drop after the second D&C, I would likely need to undergo chemotherapy.
Ultimately, the procedures they did seem to have worked; I did not undergo an emergency hysterectomy, did weekly blood tests after being discharged to monitor HCG levels (which dropped significantly after), and at my post-stay checkup a month later, they said I was looking good and they did not think chemotherapy would be necessary. I haven’t had any events/medical emergencies since.
However, I struggled with depression virtually all of last year. I have no pre-existing chronic health issues, never stayed in the hospital that long ever, and I’m in my mid 30s and have no kids (but partner and I do want them). I never had a miscarriage or anything before that. For the last year, I have struggled with general loss of energy and fatigue (which affected my job performance), intrusive thoughts and nightmares about hemorrhaging again, and with general sadness and anxiety about everything in that area. And I’m terrified about trying for another pregnancy even though I do want children because I’m terrified of having the experience happen again. Two different therapists last year believed I was experiencing PTSD from medical trauma related to the event, on top of depression.
Last year, I just did not have the strength or will to do much of anything and focused on just surviving/making it through the day. I did not speak to any lawyers and also was on the fence about whether I even should try to—never did a medical malpractice suit and not even sure if I’d have one, since technically I did not ultimately need an emergency hysterectomy. Also was hesitant because of the stigma around medical malpractice suits. It’s been a little over a year now, not sure if my time has run out there, but am wondering, would it be worthwhile to reach out to an attorney?

How relocation astrology and astrocartography can be leveraged for enhancing physical health. This isn't just about finding a sunny place to relax; it's about understanding the intricate dance of planetary energies and how they can be harnessed to boost your physical well-being.
The Power of Relocated Charts for Health
A relocated chart can shine a light on aspects of your health that might need attention or could flourish in a new environment. Let's explore the key elements:
Vital Houses:

• 6th House (Health and Daily Routines): A strong 6th house is crucial. Beneficial planets here can indicate good health habits and a strong constitution.
• 1st House (Physical Body and Vitality): Planets like the Sun or Mars here can boost physical energy and overall vitality.
• 12th House (Rest and Rejuvenation): Overlooked but vital, a supportive 12th house can indicate good sleep and recovery, essential for health.

Planetary Aspects:

• Sun Aspects for Vitality: Positive aspects to the Sun can enhance overall health and energy.
• Mars for Physical Energy: Harmonious Mars aspects are excellent for active energy and athleticism but watch out for overexertion with hard aspects.
• Jupiter for Growth and Wellness: Benefic aspects to Jupiter in health-related houses can indicate robust health and optimism.

Planetary Combinations:

• Sun-Mars: Great for vitality and physical strength.
• Sun-Jupiter: Can indicate good health and a positive outlook.
• Mars-Saturn: Offers disciplined energy for health routines, though can sometimes indicate a need for rest.

Astrocartography and Health Lines
Astrocartography maps planetary influences across the globe. For health:

• Sun Lines for General Vitality: Enhances life force and energy.
• Mars Lines for Activity and Strength: Best for an active lifestyle but beware of accidents.
• Jupiter Lines for Overall Well-being: Supports growth and often indicates good health.

Integrating Relocation Chart and Astrocartography
When considering a move for health reasons, it's essential to integrate insights from both your relocated chart and astrocartography. For instance, a Jupiter line might sound great, but if Jupiter squares Mars in your relocated chart, you might need to be cautious about overdoing physical activities.
What to Consider in Your Natal Chart
Your natal chart is the foundation. Here's what to look for:

• Natal 6th House: Understand any inherent health challenges or strengths.
• Mars and Its Aspects: Indicates energy levels and potential areas for physical activity or injury.
• Aspects to the Ascendant: Influences on your physical body and personal health.

Tips for a Holistic Approach

1. Combine Astrological Insights with Personal Goals: Align astrological findings with what you want for your health. Are you seeking more energy, better rest, or improved overall well-being?
2. Consider Lifestyle Factors: Astrology is a guide, not a prescription. Your lifestyle, diet, exercise, and medical history play critical roles.
3. Consult Professionals: For health-related moves, consider consulting both an astrologer and a healthcare professional.

Astrology provides a unique lens to view and improve our health. By understanding the intricate relationships between our natal chart, relocated chart, and astrocartography, we can make informed decisions about where we live and how it impacts our physical well-being. Here's to your health, empowered by the stars! 🌌💪🌍
Remember, every chart is unique, and so is every body. The stars can guide us, but they work best when aligned with our personal needs and realities. Happy exploring, and may the stars align for your healthiest self!

Welcome to today's open thread, where /nfl users can discuss anything they wish not related directly to the NFL.
Want to talk about personal life? Cool things about your fandom? Whatever happens to be dominating today's news cycle? Do you have something to talk about that didn't warrant its own thread? This is the place for it!
Remember, that there are other subreddits that may be a good fit for what you want to post - every day all day!

• /NFLFandom for showing off your fandom
• /NFL_Draft for talking in depth about the draft
• /NFLNoobs for noob questions, no judgment
• /nflblogs for posting blog posts - including your own
• /nflofftopic for talking about anything with NFL fans
• /nfffffffluuuuuuuuuuuu for all kinds of humor posts
• /nflcirclejerk for when /NFL just becomes too much
• ... and more - see the sidebar!

So question for anyone who’s done this!
Is splitting payments smart? My student loan payment is 870 a month and some change. I make about 980 a week. I’m a nanny, my degree did nothing for me as most can relate. Anyways, not the point. I’ve been in forbearance for the last 6 months but the payments start up again next month. I got a better paying job and work 10 hours a day so I made some “money moves” while I had the time without the loan hanging over my head.
I have other expenses. I have rent which is 1200, I have my car payment thats 270, I’m attempting to pay off my cc debt (only 6k so not horrible) but I put 500 towards them all while not having to pay the loans. I’ve considered moving back in with my parents but they downsized and have no room and there’s also no job opportunities where they live for me. I have a roommate, I’ll most likely never live alone in my life as I can’t afford it. I have about 1200 saved to my name after all my expenses. I try to live very minimally. I’ll be living this way forever lol.
So, what’s a good way to beat this sallie Mae beast? I tried to refinance while I had the chance but no one would take the loan😭 I’m thinking 400 first half of month and the rest the last part of month. Is this dumb? I don’t know. I’m trying to not let it ruin my life but it seems as though it is.
My loan is about 61k. I did the math and without the interest it would be 280 a month. I can afford that. These rates should be illegal! Sallie Mae is a predator.

I think I’m pretty fucked. We were doing a practice LP1 Q5 and I used a peep show quote to describe someone in a story. What have you done - GCSE related - that has made you question your stupidity?

Hey everyone, I'm feeling a bit down and could really use some words of encouragement and positivity right now. This past week has been really tough - I had a big project at work that didn't go as planned despite putting in a ton of effort, and I've been beating myself up over it. On top of that, I've been dealing with some personal issues in my family life that have me pretty stressed and anxious.
I know this is just a temporary rough patch, but I could really use a boost to help pull me out of this funk. Maybe some motivational quotes, stories about overcoming challenges, or just some kind words of support. I'm trying to stay positive, but some days it's harder than others.
I truly appreciate this community and all the warmth and encouragement you provide to those in need of a pick-me-up. Don't hold back - hit me with your most uplifting thoughts and advice! I'm ready to receive that rocket boost of positivity to help recharge my batteries. Thanks in advance for being the supportive, amazing people you are.

This is no bridezilla drama..
SOME BACKGROUNDDD
I am a Middle Eastern 26 F. I studied medicine in my home country, so just to imagine how busy my life was—specifically, that I had a part-time job with that, too.
This, with time, made my social life a bit harder and my love life too. In my family, having a bf is fine, but at least he had to have the potential of being a husband. He may not be, but the original goal should be that. This is culturally not so acceptable, i.e., my family technically has to deal with people talking behind my back or criticizing my upbringing.
My lack of experience, bad choices led me to bad experiences probably one of the worst you'd ever hear..
I loved someone my age , from university ..
He was with me every single day , so lovely till I brought up my 8-year-long friend . She became our third , on outings , on dinners lunches and and ...YES THEY BETRAYED ME . People from our circle knew they were together and never told me .People actually found out some time in the middle on a feast to which I invited everyone . I just went to the toilet , and everyone else caught up the body language .. and later made sure in some way
Since that day , I never trusted any friend not just for that lady who was my friend for years but for everyone who knew that they were lying to my face and never said anything
The next time , I loved someone for a year . Everything was okay till he planned travel and ghosted every `'romantic" side of our relationship. We act normal in public . Hi , how is work , did you admit that so and so..I don't get why we got there , maybe fear of commitement
I gave up on men
NOW THE STORY
I decided to raise a child . This is definitely a "crazy" move in my country. My family was supportive on the terms that no one knows . They already had to deal with that twice earlier ..I lived with that . I am fine with it . He filled my life . I started to focus on work , community medicine and activities related to my career too . It was a balance - no need for a man ..thank you
As a physician , I applied to the MATCH - if we have medicals here they'll get me. It is a very hectic process ,especially if you are not a US citizen . I didn't MATCH in the exact specialty I wanted (INTERNAL MEDICINE) I had the worst month . On the 4th April , I lost my child in a car accident . I then started to look for work to fill my time , to cope .. I came upon a pediatrician position - I was delighted to get somewhere I can feel busy and needed the work more than anything
This is a long-term contract . I am afraid to regret. I am afraid it is an emotional premature decision.
I thought I would break the contract with a lawsuit if I ever felt like it within the few upcoming years. Note that it is possible but would harm the institution more than it would harm me. AITA for accepting the job ?

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac dates
10 things about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac traits
cancer zodiac personality
cancer zodiac symbol
cancer zodiac month
cancer zodiac tattoo
cancer zodiac characteristics
cancer zodiac facts
cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac animal
cancer zodiac and capricorn
cancer zodiac art
cancer zodiac aesthetic
cancer zodiac air sign
cancer zodiac astrology
cancer zodiac attributes
cancer zodiac and scorpio
cancer zodiac and aries
cancer zodiac and aquarius
about cancer zodiac sign
all about cancer zodiac
are cancer zodiac dangerous
about cancer zodiac sign girl
age of cancer zodiac
attributes of cancer zodiac sign
after cancer zodiac
animal for cancer zodiac sign
anime characters cancer zodiac
aries and cancer zodiac sign compatibility
cancer zodiac birthday
cancer zodiac bad traits
cancer zodiac birthstone
cancer zodiac best match
cancer zodiac birth dates
cancer zodiac body part
cancer zodiac background
cancer zodiac bracelet
cancer zodiac best friends
cancer zodiac baby girl
best crystals for cancer zodiac
bad things about cancer zodiac
boy cancer zodiac
best match for cancer zodiac
birthday wishes for cancer zodiac
best color for cancer zodiac
best job for cancer zodiac
best stone for cancer zodiac
birthstone for cancer zodiac
bracelet for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac compatibility
cancer zodiac color
cancer zodiac celebrities
cancer zodiac constellation
cancer zodiac crystals
cancer zodiac color palette
cancer zodiac characteristics female
cancer zodiac compatibility chart
cancer zodiac chinese
cancer zodiac sign dates
cancer zodiac dates range
cancer zodiac description
cancer zodiac days
cancer zodiac demon
cancer zodiac drawing
cancer zodiac daily
cancer zodiac dates 2024
cancer zodiac dogs
cancer zodiac dark side
definition of cancer zodiac sign
dates for cancer zodiac sign
dark side of cancer zodiac signs
dragon cancer zodiac
different types of cancer zodiac
demon cancer zodiac
does cancer zodiac have anger issues
description of cancer zodiac sign
double cancer zodiac
diamond for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac element
cancer zodiac emoji
cancer zodiac enemies
cancer zodiac explained
cancer zodiac earrings
cancer zodiac energy
cancer zodiac ear piercing
cancer zodiac eyes
cancer zodiac español
cancer zodiac emotionally manipulative
everything about cancer zodiac
evolved cancer zodiac
element of cancer zodiac
evil cancer zodiac
enemy of cancer zodiac
emerald for cancer zodiac
easy cancer zodiac drawing
emotional cancer zodiac
explain cancer zodiac sign
everything you need to know about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac flower
cancer zodiac flower tattoo
cancer zodiac for today
cancer zodiac female
cancer zodiac favorite color
cancer zodiac famous people
cancer zodiac fire sign
cancer zodiac friends
cancer zodiac facts male
facts about cancer zodiac sign
facts about cancer zodiac woman
fun facts about cancer zodiac
famous cancer zodiac
flower for cancer zodiac
facts about cancer zodiac man
features of cancer zodiac sign
female cancer zodiac sign
friends of cancer zodiac
funny cancer zodiac quotes
cancer zodiac girl
cancer zodiac gemstone
cancer zodiac greek god
cancer zodiac god
cancer zodiac goddess
cancer zodiac gif
cancer zodiac gem
cancer zodiac good and bad traits
cancer zodiac good in bed
cancer zodiac gifts
good things about cancer zodiac
geek bar cancer zodiac flavor
gemstone for cancer zodiac
girl cancer zodiac
gifts for cancer zodiac man
gifts for cancer zodiac woman
gemstone for cancer zodiac sign
girly cancer zodiac tattoo
god of cancer zodiac
gem for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac horoscope today
cancer zodiac horoscope
cancer zodiac health problems
cancer zodiac horoscope 2024
cancer zodiac history
cancer zodiac house
cancer zodiac hand tattoo
cancer zodiac hair color
cancer zodiac hoodie
cancer zodiac humor
how rare is cancer zodiac sign
happy birthday cancer zodiac
how is cancer zodiac sign
how dangerous is cancer zodiac
how to be friends with a cancer zodiac
how will cancer zodiac die
how to deal with cancer zodiac sign
healing crystals for cancer zodiac
habits of cancer zodiac
herbs for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac in hindi
cancer zodiac in chinese
cancer zodiac images
cancer zodiac in telugu
cancer zodiac info
cancer zodiac in spanish
cancer zodiac is what month
cancer zodiac in relationships
cancer zodiac information
cancer zodiac in 2024
is cancer zodiac dangerous
interesting facts about cancer zodiac
is cancer zodiac rare
information about cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac rich or poor
instagram bio for cancer zodiac
images of cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac sign lucky
indian celebrities with cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac a water sign
cancer zodiac jewelry
cancer zodiac jobs
cancer zodiac july
cancer zodiac june
cancer zodiac january 2024
cancer zodiac june 21
cancer zodiac japanese
cancer zodiac july 22
cancer zodiac june 27
cancer zodiac july 16
july cancer zodiac
jobs for cancer zodiac
june cancer zodiac sign
july cancer zodiac traits
jewelry for cancer zodiac
june cancer zodiac personality
june cancer zodiac traits
june vs july cancer zodiac
july birthday cancer zodiac
jade for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac kids
cancer zodiac keywords
cancer zodiac keychain
cancer zodiac kpop idols
cancer zodiac killers
cancer zodiac karma
cancer zodiac know for
cancer zodiac keyboard symbol
cancer zodiac child
cancer zodiac knight
kpop idols cancer zodiac
kpop idols who have cancer zodiac sign
korean actors cancer zodiac
korean celebrities with cancer zodiac sign
katangian ng cancer zodiac
karaang napta cancer zodiac sign
karma cancer zodiac
what kind of person is cancer zodiac sign
things to know about cancer zodiac
everything to know about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac lucky numbers
cancer zodiac love
cancer zodiac logo
cancer zodiac love language
cancer zodiac lucky colors
cancer zodiac love compatibility
cancer zodiac libra
cancer zodiac lips
cancer zodiac least compatibility
cancer zodiac leo
lucky stone for cancer zodiac sign
logo cancer zodiac
leo and cancer zodiac sign
lucky color for cancer zodiac
lucky wallpaper for cancer zodiac
lucky number for cancer zodiac sign
lunar eclipse effect on cancer zodiac
libra and cancer zodiac sign compatibility
last day of cancer zodiac
love life of cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac meaning
cancer zodiac men
cancer zodiac memes
cancer zodiac match
cancer zodiac month dates
cancer zodiac moon sign
cancer zodiac moon
cancer zodiac meaning male
cancer zodiac meaning female
meaning of cancer zodiac sign
male cancer zodiac
meaningful cancer zodiac tattoo
more about cancer zodiac sign
month of cancer zodiac sign
moonstone for cancer zodiac
month of cancer zodiac
male cancer zodiac tattoo
match for cancer zodiac
mlbb cancer zodiac skin
cancer zodiac necklace
cancer zodiac negative traits
cancer zodiac number
cancer zodiac names
cancer zodiac nails
cancer zodiac nail designs
cancer zodiac nicknames
cancer zodiac necklace gold
cancer zodiac neck tattoo
cancer zodiac necklace silver
nicknames for cancer zodiac
names for cancer zodiac girl
nature of cancer zodiac sign
names for cancer zodiac boy
negatives of cancer zodiac
nature of cancer zodiac
number for cancer zodiac
nba players cancer zodiac
names related to cancer zodiac
next to cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac outfits
cancer zodiac origin
cancer zodiac opposite
cancer zodiac opposite sign
cancer zodiac overview
cancer zodiac of the day
cancer zodiac oc
cancer zodiac origin story
cancer zodiac occupations
cancer zodiac other names
opposite of cancer zodiac
one word to describe cancer zodiac
other names for cancer zodiac
outfits for cancer zodiac sign
opal for cancer zodiac
one piece cancer zodiac
october cancer zodiac
onyx for cancer zodiac
another word for cancer zodiac
ox cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac personality traits
cancer zodiac planet
cancer zodiac personality female
cancer zodiac personality male
cancer zodiac pictures
cancer zodiac powers
cancer zodiac pros and cons
cancer zodiac pendant
cancer zodiac power color
personality of cancer zodiac sign
picture of cancer zodiac sign
pros and cons of cancer zodiac
pictures of cancer zodiac sign girl
planet for cancer zodiac
pisces and cancer zodiac sign
power of cancer zodiac sign
pearl for cancer zodiac
peacock cancer zodiac
perfect match for cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac quotes
cancer zodiac qualities
cancer zodiac quotes funny
cancer zodiac quiz
cancer zodiac questions
cancer zodiac quote of the day
cancer zodiac quiet
cancer zodiac quiz buzzfeed
cancer zodiac quora
cancer zodiac queen
qualities of cancer zodiac sign
qualities of a cancer zodiac
quotes about cancer zodiac
questions to ask a cancer zodiac
quotes for cancer zodiac sign
quiet cancer zodiac
questions for cancer zodiac
questions to ask a cancer zodiac sign
quiz for cancer zodiac
quora cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac reading
cancer zodiac red flags
cancer zodiac reading today
cancer zodiac ruling planet
cancer zodiac rising sign
cancer zodiac relationship
cancer zodiac reddit
cancer zodiac ring
cancer zodiac range
cancer zodiac rappers
ring for cancer zodiac
ruby for cancer zodiac
rabbit cancer zodiac
red flag cancer zodiac
rappers that are cancer zodiac sign
real cancer zodiac facts
rat cancer zodiac
ruling planet of cancer zodiac sign
random facts about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac sign traits
cancer zodiac sign meaning
cancer zodiac sign month
cancer zodiac stone
cancer zodiac soulmate
cancer zodiac sign compatibility
cancer zodiac sign tattoo
sign of cancer zodiac
stones for cancer zodiac
symbol for cancer zodiac
stone for cancer zodiac sign
symbol of cancer zodiac sign
scary facts about cancer zodiac
serial killers with cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac tattoo ideas
cancer zodiac today
cancer zodiac tattoos for females
cancer zodiac traits female
cancer zodiac traits male
cancer zodiac tattoos for guys
cancer zodiac tarot card
cancer zodiac type
traits of cancer zodiac
things about cancer zodiac sign
tattoo cancer zodiac
types of cancer zodiac
tattoo ideas for cancer zodiac
the meaning of cancer zodiac sign
tattoo cancer zodiac sign
today cancer zodiac
today cancer zodiac sign
today's cancer zodiac horoscope
cancer zodiac urban dictionary
cancer zodiac usernames
cancer zodiac upset
cancer zodiac usa today
cancer zodiac usernames for instagram
cancer zodiac unlucky numbers
cancer zodiac unlucky color
cancer zodiac urdu
cancer zodiac unique facts
cancer zodiac unlucky
unique cancer zodiac tattoos
unique cancer zodiac tattoos for females
ugali ng cancer zodiac sign
understanding cancer zodiac
username for cancer zodiac
urban dictionary cancer zodiac sign
unhealthy cancer zodiac
usa today cancer zodiac
unknown facts about cancer zodiac
unlucky colour for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac virgo
cancer zodiac vape
cancer zodiac vibes
cancer zodiac videos
cancer zodiac vs scorpio
cancer zodiac vs leo
cancer zodiac venus
cancer zodiac vector
cancer zodiac vs gemini
cancer zodiac vindictive
virgo and cancer zodiac sign
vans cancer zodiac
virgo and cancer zodiac
villains cancer zodiac
vintage cancer zodiac
vintage cancer zodiac charm
venus in cancer zodiac
van cleef zodiac pendant cancer
cancer zodiac in vietnamese
cancer zodiac water sign
cancer zodiac weakness
cancer zodiac woman
cancer zodiac wallpaper
cancer zodiac what month
cancer zodiac water or fire
cancer zodiac worst match
cancer zodiac worst traits
cancer zodiac when mad
cancer zodiac wallpaper aesthetic
what is a cancer zodiac
what month is cancer zodiac sign
what month is cancer zodiac
what color is cancer zodiac
weakness of cancer zodiac
what are the traits of a cancer zodiac sign
what is the meaning of cancer zodiac sign
woman cancer zodiac
what is a cancer zodiac animal
what is good about cancer zodiac sign
cancer x zodiac
zodiac cancer x gemini
astrology cancer x capricorn
cancer zodiac letters
cancer x
cancer x cancer zodiac compatibility
cancer x cancer zodiac
zodiak taurus x cancer
what sign are cancer
x cancer
cancer zodiac year 2024
cancer zodiac yin yang
cancer zodiac year
cancer zodiac yin or yang
cancer zodiac yesterday
cancer zodiac year of dragon
what are cancer zodiac signs
year 2024 for cancer zodiac
yin yang cancer zodiac
year of the dragon for cancer zodiac sign
year of cancer zodiac
youtubers with cancer zodiac
year 2023 for cancer zodiac sign
year of the dragon for cancer zodiac
what year is cancer zodiac sign
what does it mean if you are a cancer zodiac
how to know if your a cancer zodiac sign
cancer astrology zone
cancer zodiac pisces zodiac
why are zodiac cancers so dangerous
cancer about zodiac
cancer zodiac in chinese zodiac
cancer zodiac zodiac
cancer sheep zodiac
zodiac cancer characteristics
zodiac cancer celebrities
zodiac cancer child
zodiac cancer chart
cancer horoscope 0800
cancer zodiac july 07
horoscope cancer 09 juin 2023
are cancers good for cancers
are cancers lucky
cancer sun 0 degrees
cancer 0 degrees
what are cancers sign
why are cancers called cancer
why is cancer called cancer zodiac
what represents cancer zodiac
0 degree cancer astrology
0 degree cancer
0 cancer
cancer zodiac 15 year cycle
cancer zodiac 10 things
cancer zodiac 10
cancer zodiac 18k
cancer zodiac 15th birthday
cancer 101 zodiac
zodiac cancer 16
cancer horoscope 19 march 2024
cancer horoscope 13 december 2023
cancer horoscope 11 march 2024
10 bad things about cancer zodiac
10 things about cancer zodiac male
10 things about cancer zodiac female
100 facts about cancer zodiac
10 facts about cancer zodiac
10 good things about cancer zodiac
10 interesting facts about cancer zodiac
10 facts about cancer zodiac sign
14k gold cancer zodiac necklace
cancer zodiac 2024
cancer zodiac 2024 prediction
cancer zodiac 2023
cancer zodiac 2025
cancer zodiac 2024 january
cancer zodiac 2024 career
cancer zodiac 2023 predictions
cancer zodiac 2024 in hindi
cancer zodiac 2024 march
cancer zodiac 2023 horoscope
2024 for cancer zodiac
2 types of cancer zodiac
2025 for cancer zodiac
20 facts about cancer zodiac
2026 for cancer zodiac
2023 for cancer zodiac
2023 cancer zodiac predictions
2024 prediction for cancer zodiac
2024 lucky color for cancer zodiac sign
2024 color of the year for cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac 3 stages
cancer zodiac 3 types
cancer zodiac 3 signs
cancer 3 zodiac
cancer horoscope 31 january 2024
cancer horoscope 30 march 2024
cancer horoscope 31 july 2023
cancer horoscope 30 march 2023
cancer horoscope 30 august 2023
cancer horoscope 30 november 2023
3 types of cancer zodiac
3 stages of cancer zodiac
3 words to describe cancer zodiac
3 facts about cancer zodiac
3 different types of cancer zodiac
3d cancer zodiac sign
3 fun facts about cancer zodiac
august 31 zodiac sign compatibility with cancer
cancer june 30 zodiac sign
cancer zodiac june 30
cancer horoscope 4 march 2024
cancer horoscope 4 april 2024
cancer horoscope 4 may 2023
cancer horoscope 4 january 2024
cancer horoscope 4 october 2023
cancer horoscope 4 april 2023
cancer horoscope 4 september 2023
cancer horoscope 4th december 2023
cancer horoscope 4 july 2023
cancer horoscope 4 june 2023
4 types of cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac wallpaper 4k
cancer zodiac july 4
zodiac sign of cancer 4 letters
what do cancer zodiac sign mean
cancer zodiac rules
4 cancers
zodiac cancer types
cancer horoscope 5 march 2024
cancer horoscope 5 april 2024
cancer horoscope 5 october 2023
cancer horoscope 5 april 2023
cancer horoscope 5 june 2023
cancer horoscope 5 july 2023
cancer horoscope 5 january 2024
cancer horoscope 5 may 2023
cancer horoscope 5 february 2024
cancer horoscope 5 december 2023
5 facts about cancer zodiac
50 cent is a cancer zodiac
50 cent zodiac sign cancer
cancer 5th house zodiac
cancer zodiac sign july 5
cancer zodiac july 5
june 5 zodiac sign cancer
5 cancers
cancer zodiac 69
cancer zodiac 69 tattoo
cancer zodiac 69 meaning
cancer horoscope 6 march 2024
cancer horoscope 6 july 2023
cancer horoscope 6 april 2023
cancer horoscope 6 december 2023
cancer horoscope 6 october 2023
cancer horoscope 6 june 2023
cancer horoscope 6 september 2023
69 cancer zodiac
meaning of cancer zodiac sign 69
cancer zodiac july 6
what does the 69 mean for cancer
cancer born on july 6
cancer big 6 astrology
69 cancer sign
6 cancer causing foods
cancer horoscope 7 march 2024
cancer horoscope 7 may 2023
cancer horoscope 7 september 2023
cancer horoscope 7 july 2023
cancer horoscope 7 june 2023
cancer horoscope 7th may 2023
cancer horoscope 7 november 2023
cancer horoscope 7 august 2023
cancer horoscope 7 april 2023
cancer horoscope 7 february 2024
cancer zodiac july 7
cancer horoscope 8 march 2024
cancer horoscope 8 january 2024
cancer horoscope 8 may 2023
cancer horoscope 8 september 2023
cancer horoscope 8 june 2023
cancer horoscope 8 april 2023
cancer horoscope 8 august 2023
cancer horoscope 8 december 2023
cancer horoscope 8 november 2023
cancer horoscope 8th march 2024
july 8th cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac july 8
signo zodiacal cancer julio 8
what flower represents cancer zodiac
why cancer is dangerous zodiac
what gifts do cancers like
cancer 8h
cancer horoscope 9 june 2023
cancer horoscope 9 may 2023
cancer horoscope 9 march 2024
cancer horoscope 9 january 2024
cancer horoscope 9 april 2023
cancer horoscope 9 october 2023
cancer horoscope 9 september 2023
cancer horoscope 9 november 2023
cancer horoscope 9 august 2023
cancer horoscope 9th april 2023
9 cancer zodiac sign
july 9 zodiac sign cancer
cancer zodiac july 9
what do cancer look like zodiac
what does cancer hate zodiac
9 cancer symptoms
what cancer zodiac sign
what cancer zodiac sign means

Hi everyone, the title is pretty much the core of the issue.
23, male, 180cm, 60kg, white pale complexion, smoker, no previous heart or circulatory condition, previous food-allergy related rashes and epileptic crises during high fevers as a kid (both no longer present).
I have been experiencing this for years now and I can’t seem to find any definitive solution. Not even my doctor could help me so I’m asking here in the hope someone recognises this or has some useful advice.
Long story short sometimes I get out of the shower or bath and as soon as my legs dry a little they start to itch. Itching restlessly and intensely as if someone was pinching me all over them. It usually lasts a few minutes and then progressively calms down, even tho it can last up to half an hour sometimes.
I know it doesn’t sound like much of a problem but I really can’t describe how terrible it feels with words. When it happens I feel helpless and like I could go mad, it’s a very intense sensation, sometimes I even slapped my legs hoping they would stop. Sometimes it starts making me shake
It feels obvious to say it but scratching only makes it worse and prolongs the torture.
On to the weirdness of this: I thought of every possible reason this happens and every possible remedy doesn’t help in the slightest and sometimes makes it worse.
I thought it was a skin sensitivity problem and I only use pharmacy’s shower oil to wash my body, nor do I use exfoliants chemical or physical (I wash myself with my bare hands and nothing more).
I thought it was a dryness problem so I tried multiple hydrating creams all with varying results from no effect to making the situation worse.
I thought it was an oil depletion problem so I applied sweet almond oil (which also should have calming effects on irritations) and it doesn’t do anything.
I thought it was a circulatory problem so I started wearing compression socks as some recommend (I don’t have varicose veins nor anything similar).
What is left on my list of ideas is a peripheral nervous problem and I really want to hope that is not the case.
I can’t see a correlation between the times it happens (as it’s not a regular appointment, thankfully) as it doesn’t matter if I shower or bathe, hot or cold, etc.
The additional useful information that I can tell you is:

• It could have some correlation with shaving: I say could because I don’t shave often, I don’t do it with anything other than an electric razors with spacers anymore and, most importantly, it happened when I hadn’t shaved for months too, although less intensely
  
• It happens consistently every time I bathe in sea water and that is the only time the sensation expands all over my body (when it happens at home my arms itch too sometimes, but way less noticeably than my legs).
  
• There are no visible signs of this, no rashes, not even redness
  
• My mother said she has had this problem all her life but the solution that worked for her was using cleaning products for sensitive skin which, as I mentioned, didn’t do it for me (although it seems to have made it a little less frequent, sea water aside).
  

Please help Thank you for reading this long message

I M23 have had a hard time accepting the fact that going stealth is the only way for me, I'm pre-T but I pass around 70% of the time due to my clothes style and mannerisms, my downfall is my baby face and voice, the rest of the time people are confused as fuck.
I started Uni and corrected people when they used the wrong pronouns for me, or they asked themselves, otherwise I've not once told anyone that I'm transsex in a class that's 1/3 trans people (Art).
Besides the fact that I've had to wait years for our government to permit me the honor of transitioning medically, I feel at my peak being assumed as cis by my male friends and classmates. I also identify as straight and have always liked women which makes it easier.
The only time I even remotely question staying stealth is regarding my future in the game/animation industry. My goal is to create queer characters for the next generation so they don't feel like a freak like I did as a kid.
I never knew about anything queer as my upbringing was extremely unusual and I knew nothing of the outside world, I did however always know that I liked girls in a way that wasn't normal because of the body I was born in, even though it felt as natural as breathing. (Not to mention lifelong sex dysphoria)
My first exposure to the concept of anything queer was when I was 9 in a godamn Percy Jackson book.
I remember my face turning red as I reread the passage over and over again as my kid mind exploded, there were other freaks out there like me! (I only use this term because it's what my kid self used to use)
I want to be what Rick Riordan was for me and make the world feel a little less hostile for future queer kids, but I would be doing it as an apparently cishet man? I can't even use the queer label as I feel like that doesn't apply to my identity.
I fear that I will never be able to explain how my concepts relate to me personally for fear of being outed. It's like when a work of art moves you because of the text on the side talking about how the artist put their lived experiences into it, my work will automatically mean less than a visible queer persons.
On one hand that's exactly what I want, I want to be perceived as cis, that's why I'm transitioning, on the other hand It means I don't get to inject the pain of my life into my art without having to excuse it as "oh I had a lot of queer friends growing up" or "I'm a strong ally".
Life sucks lol.

Well, I think I’ve just hit rock bottom this past week. My bf of 5 years has had a porn problem this whole time and it’s caused me some major self esteem issues. He’s also not very nice about it and has said extremely hurtful things to me. Idk if he wants me to just accept it or feel so bad about my self that I’m not worth attention or love. It’s just a reoccurring problem and he constantly wants that more than me. And more and more it just hurts me worse.
But, I’ve spoke about that many times before and I’m sure a lot of you can already relate to the pain and sadness it creates. Like there’s no fucking point in being with someone who wants other people more. So I won’t go into that much detail, but I will say, he doesn’t want to break up. I provide too much for him that he is comfortable where he is at and will ‘act’ like everything is fine off and on to probably keep me around.
Well, unfortunately for me I found out this week that he gave me genital HSV. This is a huge shock to me as I don’t sleep around. I’ve done nothing but beg him for loyalty and love and I get fucking HSV. On Mother’s Day weekend, and he didn’t even say happy Mother’s Day to me and I got nothing. No one did anything for me even. I take care of everyone every day and no one said anything to me. I was in extreme physical pain and emotionally I’m just a wreck. I don’t believe it came from him cheating because he has had cold sores since childhood apparently and it’s HSV1 so it does seem like I just happened to get it right fucking now, of course.
Now I know for sure though, if I wasn’t good enough for him because I’m not a fake tittied celebrity or porn star with a bleached asshole then I will never be good enough with this fucking shit he gave me. I mean, I have already been trying so hard to be what he wants and now this. Why do I do this to myself? Why am I just not worthy of someone’s love? I have never in my life been worth someone’s full attention but yet I am completely faithful and devoted and will do anything for people I care about. I just don’t get why this shit happens to me? I can’t help but think he’s somewhat happy deep down because now he can just get off to other women in peace without me being able to say anything about it. He will just say what else is he supposed to do when I have this going on? Just what he wants I guess. I mean why would he want me when I’m gross now and there are perfect looking women all over the place tempting him 24/7?
If I’m being honest though, he has been the nicest he could possibly be now because he feels bad that happened. He’s been helping me and trying to make me feel better, but I know the second I’m way he’s got to be eyeing up every other girl on the internet and not giving a fuck about me. It just hurts me so bad and I can’t see why I am not good enough for him to just give a fuck about me despite how many times I have told him the emotional/mental pain it causes me. I am so upset that he won’t ever love me fully (especially now) and now for sure no one else ever will either. I honestly can’t stop crying and feeling really upset about this.

I want to take a moment to list out some of my most challenging problems with Protestantism according to what Scripture says, in no particular order. It is not a comprehensive list of all of the problems that I have with it, but having these answered would go a long way to me taking Protestantism seriously from a theological viewpoint.
We should rely on our own personal interpretation of Scripture
And we have the prophetic word made more sure. You will do well to pay attention to this as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts. ²⁰ First of all you must understand this, that no prophecy of scripture is a matter of one’s own interpretation, ²¹ because no prophecy ever came by the impulse of man, but men moved by the Holy Spirit spoke from God.
Here, Peter is saying PAY ATTENTION TO THE CHURCH!!! Listen to what the apostles are teaching and allow that to form your reading of Scripture. If you read the rest of this chapter, He says that "we" (the apostles) have had given to them, "all things that pertain to life and godliness" through knowledge of Jesus Christ. When we read Scripture, we should not read it solely with our own understanding, but allow ourselves to be taught by the apostles (or those appointed by them as successors).
When it comes to Sola Scriptura, I do not see how it is not relying on one's own personal interpretation. How do I know that I am understanding Scripture correctly? How do I know that I do not have an interpretation that is horribly off base? I have never really gotten an answer to this from Protestants.
If I am debating Scripture, according to Protestants, I am debating the sole highest authority. So if I test my interpretation against something else, I am testing against a lesser authority and thus it can still be challenged and I have not sufficiently solved the problem.
We only need to declare Jesus as Lord to get to Heaven
“Not every one who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
Here Jesus flatly says professing that Jesus is Lord is not enough to get you into Heaven, but doing the will of the Father. Yes, we are saved by faith through grace. If you get baptized and are shot dead the moment you walk out of the church, you will go to Heaven having done nothing except making that "leap of faith." If you are in a car crash and have a minute to live and all you can do is place your trust in Jesus, yes, you will be saved. But for 99.99999% of people, this is not the case. We have our entire lives to live after baptism. So the question is "Do we live according to what we profess with our mouth?"
If I say "I am an Orioles fan." but only ever go to/watch Yankees games and only ever root for the Yankees, would you say that I am actually an Orioles fan? Do I not call into question that statement that I made by my actions? What if I grow up as an Orioles fan, regularly attending games and watching them daily. But then later, my favorite player gets traded to the Yankees and I convert to a Yankees fan. Was I never an Orioles fan to begin with? No. That would be silly. I was an Orioles fan, but then became a Yankees fan.
Likewise, if I say "I am a Christian and believe that Jesus rose from the dead." But I never attend Church, I am not loving others, I am worshipping other gods, etc. Am I really a Christian? Maybe I was at one point, but I certainly am not now based on what I have done.
As such, yes, it is true that works do not save us, but if we act contrary to what we believe, we cannot have assurance of our salvation. Hopefully God still finds a way to bring us to Heaven. I would rather someone spend 1000 years after death having their soul purified knowing that they will go to Heaven then know for a fact that they are in Hell. Even so, we must recognize that Hell is real, it is a real possibility.
Baptism does not save
He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned.
Baptism, which corresponds to this, now saves you, not as a removal of dirt from the body but as an appeal to God for a clear conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, ²² who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God, with angels, authorities, and powers subject to him.
I have ZERO idea where some Protestants get this idea from. The idea that Baptism is not salvific is not at all Scriptural. This really ties into the "Sola Fide" bit of this post.
The Eucharist is merely symbolic
I am the bread of life. ⁴⁹ Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died. ⁵⁰ This is the bread which comes down from heaven, that a man may eat of it and not die. ⁵¹ I am the living bread^\)^c\) which came down from heaven; if any one eats of this bread, he will live for ever; and the bread which I shall give for the life of the world is my flesh.”
⁵² The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?”^\)^d\) ⁵³ So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood, you have no life in you; ⁵⁴ he who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. ⁵⁵ For my flesh is food indeed, and my blood is drink indeed. ⁵⁶ He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. ⁵⁷ As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so he who eats me will live because of me. ⁵⁸ This is the bread which came down from heaven, not such as the fathers ate and died; he who eats this bread will live for ever.” ⁵⁹ This he said in the synagogue, as he taught at Caper′na-um.
Jesus flat out says "This bread that I am talking about here is my flesh." So the disciples challenge Him saying "You mean this figuratively right?... RIGHT?
So Jesus responds repeating himself over and over in verses 53 through 58. How many times does Jesus need to say something for you to believe it? You will latch on to a singular verse that teaches something you agree with (or seems to) for dear life at the exclusion of literally any other verse on the topic, but something else is taught multiple times and you don't believe it? I am confused about how Protestants read the Bible. It does not seem to be in any kind of coherent exegesis.
You are allowed to get divorced and remarried... at all.
“Every one who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.
But Jesus said to them, “For your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. ⁶ But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ⁷ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,^\)^a\) ⁸ and the two shall become one.’^\)^b\) So they are no longer two but one.^\)^c\) ⁹ What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.”
He said to them, “For your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. ⁹ And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity,^\)^c\) and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries a divorced woman, commits adultery.”
A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If the husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
Marriage is "until death do us part." The teachings on divorce from the Gospels is trying to set a trap for Jesus to see which rabbinical school he agrees with. Jesus comes out and says. "Neither." He says "Yeah. Moses allowed for divorce. But this is not how it was from the beginning. What about that "except for unchastity" phrase in Matthew (and only Matthew)?
There Matthew is talking about unions that God did not join together. He is talking about invalid marriages that his primarily Jewish readers would have been thinking about. The gentile converts to Christianity would not have thought about these weird situations, so this is excluded from the other gospels.
You can get re-baptized
There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism,
Some that want to say that you can get rebaptized jump to Acts 19. Reading this passage, it would seem that what is going on here is that the Baptism by John was not in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Paul is essentially saying that the "baptism" that they had received was not valid. He does not say that he "baptized them again into Christ." Rather it says that Paul "baptized them in the name Jesus Christ." As in they were not baptized into Christ, so Paul baptized them "for real this time."
You can only be cleansed from Original Sin once. After that, you can confess your sins and have them forgiven. Baptism is what makes into a child of God. That can only happen once. To do otherwise is a grave sin because you are saying that God was not powerful enough to save you the first time. Again, if a baptism is deemed to be invalid, this is a different story. This is why Paul asks "Into what were you baptized?"
The Church is simply the collection of believers
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. ¹⁶ But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. ¹⁷ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. ¹⁸ Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
Here it is clear that the "Church" is something more than a collection of believers. Jesus teaches here that first, you deal with disagreement 1 on 1. If that does not work, you go and get other believers to help show that they are wrong. If that does not work, then take to the Church. If even that does not work, they are to be treated as an unbeliever (excommunicated).
Certainly, all believers are a part of the Church - which is the body of Christ. The Church is not a parish or a singular building. The Church is universal, but there is a clear structure to it. There are priests, bishops, elders, etc. There is real authority in that structure. This article goes over in Scripture and towards the bottom the Church Fathers what the Church is meant to look like: https://www.scripturecatholic.com/the-biblical-church/
Many Protestant ideas sound nice, but I do not want to believe something merely because it sounds nice. Dessert for dinner sounds nice but it is not good for my body. Likewise, we should not judge something on "does it sound nice." We should judge something on whether it is good for our souls.
I look at many Protestant theological views and note how they seem to not be based in Scripture or based on a misunderstanding of Scripture. I would love to see if Protestants can properly answer these. Simply quoting verses that seem to back you up is not enough here. You need to show that these other verses are not problematic.
I do not only want to trust in Jesus, I want to trust that I am following everything that he taught. Jesus commanded the apostles to teach all that He has commanded, not just the important stuff. If you get the main stuff right but other things wrong, you still got it wrong. If a teacher gave a 10 question quiz and said, "You got questions 1, 2, 5, and 7 right, but everything else wrong. It is ok though those questions were the most important." I still get a failing grade. So, if you want me to convert to Protestantism you need to show that you actually follow all of Scripture, because I want to strive to get a 100% on the "test" of salvation. After all Jesus told us to "Be perfect as Your Heavenly Father is perfect" Not "Be kind of perfect as Your Heavenly Father is perfect."

Episode Description

Simba leaves Kiara in charge of the Pride Lands while he, Nala, and Zazu go to Kilio Valley to attend a funeral for an old elephant friend named Amanifu who has just died. Upon learning this from Mzingo, Janja decides to take advantage of Kiara's inexperience and comes up with a plan to take over the Pride Lands. Meanwhile, Simba is nervous about performing his eulogy in front of the elephants, including Aminifu's daughter, Ma Tembo.
Song: "Duties of the King" sung by Simba and Zazu

Pros
-First off, I like the sibling dynamic in this episode, as somebody with a similarly aged older brother. Kion and Kiara's relationship has resonated with me, the way they have off days and arguments, but, obviously love each other and make it out strong in the end. I, for one, do not hate Kiara in The Lion Guard, and Kion gives her the same attitude she gives him in early episodes. I like watching their relationship go through ups and downs throughout Season 1.
-I know the opening scene, where Kiara and Kion are fighting over a tree to sharpen their claws is quite intense, because they would've probably gotten into a scuffle if Simba hadn't showed up when he did, but, that is siblings for you sometimes. I feel like anyone who's got siblings of your own can relate, at least a little bit, to that scene.
-I like the plotline of Kiara and Kion's sibling rivalry stemming from their roles in leadership. Kiara is clearly a reflection of her father, when he was a cub, which is interesting and so, she thinks that being the Future Queen is really swell and makes her the alpha, and Kion (who is no better than her) thinks that being Leader of the Lion Guard makes him more important than her. I like this mechanic in this episode. It makes me want to know if Scar felt the same way about Mufasa. I mean, Kion was obviously not resentful of Kiara, unlike Scar, but I wonder if a similar thing happened with the two brothers except, in this case, it drove Scar to insanity and wanting to murder Mufasa.
-Now let's talk about Kiara being left in charge of the Pride Lands (I mean, I do think the main conflict of the episode was Simba's fault, but we'll get to that later). So, I like the fact that Kiara is nervous about ruling the Pride Lands, even for a brief period of time. I like this because for one thing, she's still only a cub at this time, so, she's entitled to be nervous and anxious about being responsible for an entire kingdom. There's a lot of responsibility being placed on her at such a young age, but, she still remained likable, in my opinion. I do like how, in The Lion Guard, she takes her responsibility as Future Queen very seriously. I know this is unpopular to say, but, I headcanon that, as she's grown up into an older cub, she's realised that being queen won't prevent her from being herself, a concern she had at the beginning of TLK 2.
-I do empathise with Kiara, and Kion, because they are both being put into a huge responsibility of looking after the entire kingdom on their own, while all the adults are away from Pride Rock. This is still really early on in Season 1, so Kion is inexperienced as Leader of the Lion Guard, and Kiara only just started her training with Simba, in the pilot episode. I do feel bad at the fact that they have to figure everything without their parents around and I respect them for managing to work out their differences by the end of the episode.
-I really feel bad for Kiara because she gets a lot of crap from people in the TLG community, moreso than Kion does. I feel really sorry for her because people say they hate her for her attitude and that they think she's a self-righteous bitch at the start of the series, but, I don't. Even as a kid, I knew that a lot of Kiara's behaviour in this episode was down to the stress of being left in charge of whole kingdom for a few days without her parents around, while still being a cub at this point. I do really like her and it really upsets when I see people hating on her. I don't think Kiara really means to be controlling in this episode, she's just trying to do right by her father while he's gone.
-I like the fact that Kiara is really hesitant and nervous to have a huge weight on her shoulders, a role she was previously really excited to fulfil in the pilot episode. When Simba asks this of her, she's understanding feeling a lot of pressure to make him proud. I like the fact that Simba admits to her that he was also nervous about becoming king the first time. I like this because we only saw the side of him that was cocky, overconfident and optimistic about becoming king. I like the fact that she was nervous and that he decides to be upfront about it.
-Kiara still remained a likable character to me throughout this episode. I like how she starts out as nervous and how her confidence is slowly building up nicely during the episode. But, she never came off as mean-spirited, to me. Also, it becomes clear that the reason her responsibility goes to her head is because of Tiifu and Zuri's influence on her and the Lion Guard's inexperience and, in this case, plot-convenient incompetence.
-Beshte, "I'm sure she'll be a nice queen." Well, I'm glad at least one of you believes in her. I can't tell you guys how much I love Beshte, always the sweetest soul out of the group.
-Ono, "Thank you for the opportunity, my queen. And you.... err..... my Kion." That line was funnier than it had any right to be.
-Speaking of which, I thought seeing Ono in Zazu's position, temporarily for Kiara was interesting and I think was a great use of his character, outside of being a Member of the Lion Guard. I personally would've been down for more scenes like this. I think a cool send off for Ono would've been to have him be the Royal Advisor to Queen Kiara and King Kovu, in the future. I wish Ono had stayed in the Pride Lands in the series finale and had become Zazu's apprentice or something.
-Bunga, "Your majesty." {bows at Kiara}. Kiara, "Bunga, that's really not necessary." I found that whole interaction surprisingly funny. Also, strong feeling that Bunga has a huge crush on his best friend's sister at this point, and Kiara views him as her friend, nothing more.
-Kiara's plan about the Bees and the Eelands fiasco was actually very smart, and even when I saw this as a kid, I knew that she had a better idea than Kion. Her idea about moving the eelands away from bees' nests is smarter because bees obviously sting when angered. So, Kion was too proud to admit Kiara had the better idea.
-One of the funniest parts of the whole episode for me was Kion saying, "I say we move the bees". Then, the scene cuts to Kion, Beshte, Fuli and Ono running away from a swarm of bees, in terror. I obviously don't want them hurt, but, I just had to laugh because it was so predictable.
-Bunga, "What are you guys running for? Bees taste even better when they're mad!" Accurate behaviour from a honey badger. They can raid beehives without being stung due to their very thick hide and their stink sap.
-When the Lion Guard arrived back at Pride Rock covered in bee stings, if I were Kiara, I'd be laughing in Kion's face at that moment, like "Ha, ha, you were wrong. Only an idiot would decide to move a swarm of bees to a new place." But, in fairness, Kiara was right to be mad at him, in that moment, for his little screw up.
-"It wasn't a total disaster," Kion, while talking to Kiara. Kiara, looks at Fuli and Ono scratching themselves, "Really? It looks pretty total to me." I mean, she does have a point there. In this situation, Kion had everything to gain from taking her advice.
-However, I do like the fact this episode shows that Kiara and Kion are not perfect leaders yet, they're still fairly young and are only just finding their feet, so it's natural for them to have some minor slip ups, that they learn from, like every kid does.
-"Admit it. I was right about the bees and you were wrong." Kion, just admit it and save yourself the embarrassment. Kiara was not being rude to him whatsoever. She was speaking nothing but facts.
-When Kiara talks to Mzingo at Pride Rock, I like the fact that the latter is clearly higher up in the frame because he's the one dominating the conversation and is also the one who manipulates Kiara. I think it's a nice touch where he creepily approaches and blackmails her.
-*laughs "Janja wants peace?" I like the fact that Kiara is clearly sceptical and she's obviously suspicious of Janja's true intentions. I like this because it doesn't make Kiara out to be seriously wayyy too gullible and silly. The fact that was she was suspicious feels more in-line with TLK 2 and makes her decision to believe Janja, partially Kion's fault. Manipulation is also a very powerful tool, especially to done on a semi-young child, like Kiara.
-I like the fact that Mufasa appears to Kion, unprompted in this episode, for the first time in the series. I love this because it feels like Mufasa saw the argument that had just gone down and was like, "Right I need to put an end to this sibling drama before it gets out of hand. I need to make Kion see the error of his ways."
-I actually love the fact that Kiara is, at least partially willing, to give Outlanders a chance for peace. It feels like a nice bit of foreshadowing for her character arc in TLK 2, where she was able to give the Outsider lions a chance to fit in.
-Kion angrily to Tiifu and Zuri, "Ugh! Some advisors you two are!" That was more hilarious than it had any right to be. Because, let's be honest, they were pretty obnoxious in this episode.
-"Get away from the Queen!!!!" I actually love the moment where Kion comes bursting in like a superhero, to his sister's aid. I also love the fact that he calls Kiara his queen, at this point, because he clearly listened to Mufasa's advice, and also because he had felt somewhat responsible for her almost being killed by Janja.
-"Oh we can fight all right!!!" So badass. I personally would've loved to see Kiara fight alongside the Lion Guard. I think it would've been cool to see her help to fight off Janja's clan. I wanted to see what she could do.
-"Six on six..... Forget it!!!!" Yeah, you better run, Janja, you don't stand a chance against all six of these heroic friends. And one of them is a bloody hippo.
-I love Kion and Kiara's closeness at the end of the episode where they make up for their uncivil, squabbling at the start. Kion finally rightfully admits that he should've taken Kiara's advice about the bees and the elands, and Kiara admits that Kion was right about Janja being nothing but trouble.
-Kion, "And I should've listened to you about the bees." Ono, "Oh, sure {rolls his eyes}. Now he admits it." Oh, Ono, you knew all along, but, we love you.
-Kiara and Kion when Simba and Nala arrive home, are really sweet. I love the fact that Kiara wants to be honest about what happened, "Ruling the Pride Lands? It went..." I absolutely love the moment where Kion decides to cover for her and admits that she'll be a great queen, this is an incredibly sweet brother and sister moment. That moment feels like a precursor to the episode "Baboons" and even later "The Trail to Udugu."
-I love the moral of this episode about "being supportive of your loved ones efforts to help, especially when they are wrong," because it applies to both Kiara and Kion in two different situations. Kion was obviously wrong to go against Kiara's advice to move the elands, but, Kiara learned that she should've been more sensitive about that whole situation. But, Kion also learned that if hadn't been so dismissive of her acting queen for a few days and given her his utmost support when she was clearly nervous about ruling the Pride Lands. If Kion and Kiara been more sensitive to each other, then, they would've been able to be in charge of the Pride Lands together instead of arguing. Also, this episode shares another moral, "Communication is key to understanding each other and a successful team." Kiara learns this after Kion saves her and she realises she was wrong about Janja, and Kion learns this when the Lion Guard get stung by bees, and even later when he realises that he was partly to blame for Kiara going into the Outlands, and that if he had been upfront with her instead of outright yelling at her and running out on her, she wouldn't have needed to be rescued. These are two important lessons for kids going through school together, or with siblings and friends.
-Also, Janja is genuinely dangerous and scary in this episode. He traps Kiara in the Outlands to use her as a bargaining chip for Simba or else he and his would eat her. They would've gotten away with it if Kion didn't jump in at the last second. Janja threatened the freaking princess of the Pride Lands! Reason number #50 why he should never be allowed enter the Pride Lands, no matter if he is starving or not, because he clearly cannot be trusted to follow the rules.
-And now I'm finally going to talk about the B-plot of the episode. It wasn't as good the A-plot, in my opinion. I did love the worldbuilding aspect of this episode where we learn that different animals in the Pride Lands have their own customs and traditions that need to be respected. I like the idea of Simba upholding a tradition and it was interesting that he was never trained for it because obviously Mufasa died before he could complete his training.
-I like the idea of Simba, Nala and Zazu going to an elephant funeral. Elephants actually have "funerals" in real life. In real life, if a member of their herd dies, the elephants will crowd around them ceremoniously to pay tribute and they'll collect twigs and branches to cover the fallen elephant to pay tribute, out of respect for them. I love the way its portrayed as a ceremonial funeral in The Lion Guard and that Simba is upholding a tradition. I love the way he has to say it in Elephantese because the idea of the elephants' having a language barrier is a cool worldbuilding element.
-Aminifu is a cool worldbuilding character too who, we're told, played a big part in the Pride Lands' revival and bringing the circle of life into balance. I like to headcanon we was a childhood friend of Mufasa and Scar, and the rest of the Royal Family, and how he go on to be a good friend to Simba, Nala and the rest of Simba's pride. I like to think Aminifu was responsible for all the animals in the kingdom, similar to the Lion Guard, and how his daughter fills that role in Season 2.
-The Elephant Funeral scene looks cool because of how emotional and how heart-wrenching it looks from afar. I like the addition of all the elephants mourning in the background. It was a little dark this early on the series. One elephant hugs Aminifu and looks like their going to cry, another elephant and her calf are crying, while hugging each other.
-I like how you can see shades of Mufasa's death through Simba's voice in this episode, such as, "And now Aminifu has completely his part of the circle of life," and "Well, time for the tribute." I like this because I like to think Simba is obviously nervous about performing a eulogy in front of elephants, but, probably also a bit upset and mourning over his own father's death. I mean, in fairness, he never to give his father a proper send off when he died, so, this probably hit even harder for him.
-I like how this is Zazu's first main character moment in the series and how much of a hard worker and a loyal he is to Simba and Nala, his whole motivation is just to help Simba learn Elephantese properly so he can impress Ma Tembo's herd, during the tribute.
-Nala is such a sweetheart and a loving partner to Simba. I love her because she's pretty much exactly how she was in the original film. She's his loving and supportive wife, and I love the way he gives him moral support when he gets nervous. I love her snarky jab at her husband early on the episode too, by the way, "Worried about Kiara? Or are you worried about your tribute?"
-The song "Duties of the King" was decent enough, I suppose. I mean, it's not my favourite song in the series and I wouldn't be reaching for it. But, I don't hate it. I like the more cutesy, "miscellaneous" animals shown in the background, like the chimpanzees and the porcupines. Plus, it's nice to know that Simba doesn't just sit on his ass all day and that he does important jobs, like he assigns gazelles to their grazing grounds and songbirds to their trees. I love that he presides over aardvark wedding rites and then we saw Muhanga and Muhangus kissing behind some grass. So, I wonder if Simba did in fact, preside over their wedding before this episode. Overall, I like the cute scenes of this song and I like the fact that Simba actually has important stuff to do. I can see why kids would dance around to this song because it's very bouncy and energetic. The beat is fine, but, I don't like Rob Lowe's singing voice as Simba. I think they should've used Cam Clarke all along for The Lion Guard, who actually voices Mwoga the vulture. I don't mind the beat, but, I don't think Simba and Zazu are the best singers, at least in this series, that is. I'll give it a 5/10 because there are worse songs than it.
-Ma Tembo is such a sweetheart in this episode and I love her. She doesn't have a major role in the series as of yet, but, it's still clear in this episode that she has a great relationship with Simba and the Royal Family. I'm glad she had a bigger part in Season 2. I also love her voice actress, Lynette DuPree (R.I.P) and I think she's one of the best in the series. I love how she makes her sound genuinely sad during the procession and then a little bittersweet during the "poop" scene. Also, shout out to the moment where she wraps her trunk around Simba.
-Also, call me childish if you want to, but I actually love it when Simba actually says that Aminifu had "poop on him". I mean, it just gets me because that's not something you'd say at a funeral and the fact that the elephants took it really well and actually laughed hysterically is genuinely hilarious. Like, even his daughter admitted that he had always had faeces on him. It was funny because of how much Simba feels like he screwed up, but, then, the elephants had a really good sense of humour about it.
-Also, this episode makes me wish that at least someone went to the Elephant Graveyard during this series. Maybe Aminifu's funeral could've been there and Simba and Nala would've had to go the place where they almost got killed as cubs or maybe even Kion and the Lion Guard would have to go there. It's such a missed opportunity. Or if Janja went there then maybe he could've learn that Scar betrayed his ancestors long before the events of The Lion Guard. But, speaking of the Elephant Graveyard, I bet Ma Tembo's herd are going to wait for Aminifu to decompose and then carry his remains to the Graveyard because that's something that elephants do if a member of their herd dies outside of their designated area. I like to think that that's what happened after this episode. I just wish they had the funeral in the Elephant Graveyard and we got to see Simba and Nala go there as adults, but, I'm not going to fault this episode for not going in this direction.
-Zazu, "I'm not sure Sire, but, I think you just said he had.... {quietly} poop on him...." Try not to judge me too harshly, but, I just find poop jokes hilarious for some reason, as an adult.
Cons
-First off, I don't like how Kion and Kiara were both dumbed down for the sake of plot-convenience for much of this episode. I get that they're still kids, but, Kion's plans to move the bees instead of the elands was the most stupid idea I've seen in the series. The literally just had an episode where Kion calls out his best friend, Bunga, for making bad decisions and now it's Kion who made a really dumb decision. I mean, that should be bee rescue 101, don't try to move a swarm of bees, they do not like, and the fact that Kiara spells it out for them before this scene, "....if the elands step on the beehives, they'll get stung.... there could be chaos." She's speaking nothing but facts. Kion should've realised that they shouldn't have tried to aggravate the bees. I don't like the fact that he acts cocky and dismissive towards Kiara, when she was so obviously right. However, Kiara was dumb to go into the Outlands alone to see Janja. I mean, I admire her willingness to give strangers a chance for peace, but the fact that she had her suspicions about him and she already knew what he was like, in accordance to the pilot episode, wouldn't she see reason to bring Tiifu and Zuri along for backup.
-I don't like how this episode seems to indicate that Simba favours his daughter over his son. Between the pilot episode and this episode, it seems like he sees Kion as a just a Child Soldier and doesn't actually love him equally. I know it's obviously not through, but, I don't like how he gives off an impression that he has favourites. Parents don't have favourites, unless you're an evil lioness named Zira and you give your youngest son everything, but then treat your eldest son like dirt. But, Simba isn't like that. I don't like how he says "I have faith in you," in such a way that gives off Parental Favouritism vibes. I'm really glad he doesn't have this in any of the later episodes.
-I hate the way the writers tried to do the Kion/Scar and Kiara/Mufasa parallels in this episode. I just don't like it being used as a plot device. The series makes a point to say that Kion is nothing like Scar and how he would never take his anger out on his family and friends. I don't mind Kiara being like her grandfather because he was a great king in his day, but, I don't like how the writers made Kion and Kiara have a similar relationship that led to Mufasa's fall. Also, one thing I loathed early on in the series is the fanart of Kion brutally murdering Kiara in rage, just like Scar murdered Mufasa. I just hate it so much because it would happen since Kiara and Kion have a caring relationship, where they do bicker like siblings tend to do, but, they would never turn on each other.
-I don't like the part where Kiara and Kion were outright malicious towards each other. All the lion cubs in this episode were quite mean-spirited at times. Kion and Kiara for obviously constantly fighting and being horrible instead of admitting to being wrong in certain situations, like the bees and the elands and the Janja situation. Kion is too cocky and overconfident about the bees, for my liking, and Kiara allows Tiifu and Zuri's influence to get her head and ends up believing she's always right. Kion only adds fuel to the fire by yelling at Kiara and then callously running out her instead of being upfront with her about Janja's true intentions. I get that siblings don't always see eye-to-eye on things, but, I don't like Kion and Kiara constantly being scumbags to each other and not giving things a second thought until the end. Mufasa had to be the one to put an end to the "sibling drama".
-Tiifu and Zuri were the worst of all, in my opinion, and I think all of you guys will agree. They were pretty annoying and obnoxious in this episode. They were very disrespectful and condescending towards Kion just because he's not a queen, and they caused Kiara to be disrespectful right back. Kiara doesn't strike me as disrespectful without these two around. I'm glad she actually stands up to them in later episodes rather than being influenced by them. Zuri is my least favourite of the two of them, she comes off as super mean-spirited and bitchy, and Tiifu comes off as domineering and rude. I don't like the way they talk down and belittle Kion and how they throw shade at anyone who believes Kiara is wrong. They act like stereotypical Mean Girls, but, the annoying kind. Plus, they weren't very good friends to Kiara for letting her go into the Outlands alone without a second thought about the fact that it might be dangerous. That doesn't sound like Tiifu. Remember how in the pilot, she was deeply concerned when Kiara was trapped by the gazelles. But, here, the stakes are much higher, and she's up against a much bigger threat and Tiifu and Zuri don't seem to give a damn. I'm glad Kion called them out on this behaviour before leaving. What I wouldn't give for Tiifu and Zuri to be captured by Janja instead, not to get eaten, but just so they can see how dangerous it is. It's episodes like this that make me wonder are they her actual best friends or are they just using her to hang out with the Royal Family. Kiara deserves better than these self-entitled bitches, in my opinion.
-I feel like Kiara should've been the main focus of this episode instead of Kion. I know this only S1 Ep4, but, I still think this should've been a Kiara focused episode, rather than a brothesister episode. I would've been interested to see Kiara take centre stage and the Lion Guard take a back seat. Then, we could've seen more of Kiara's apprehension about becoming Queen and her trying to make all the decisions without Simba around to guide her, and most importantly, see her trying to decide what sort of Queen she wants to be. I would've loved if Kion tried to be supportive of her and tries to help her watch over the entire kingdom, instead of saying "Screw you Kiara, go get herself killed if you want to and my friends hate you." I would've liked to see that explored and maybe have them be a little bit annoyed at each other, but without making them really malicious. Also, have Tiifu and Zuri be in their annoying phase and for Kiara to realise that her "so-called" friends are not being very good friends to her, and have her ditch those bitches at the end of the episode. Then, have Kiara and Kion make some big decision together that really develops their relationship, in the future.
-I don't like how Simba is portrayed for much of this episode. I know, he was mourning the loss of an old friend, but I really don't like angry Simba moments in this series. I don't like the fact that all Zazu was doing was trying to help him practice his eulogy and Simba gets frustrated and roars in his face. I hate it when he throws tantrums, as a full-grown adult lion. I hate the idea of Simba regressing more into his evil uncle as of this series. I know he's not, but, I hate it when acts like it. Zazu, bless him, was just trying to help and Simba took out his rage on him. I do not like it when Zazu has to be the butt of all the jokes. I don't like Simba being a headstrong asshole in The Lion Guard.
-I also don't want to point fingers, but, if Simba hadn't left his semi-young daughter to rule over an entire kingdom for a few days, none of the conflict would've happened if he left Kion and Kiara with a responsible adult, like Rafiki or Basi or someone, just to keep an eye on things. I wouldn't leave kids their age home alone for even a day or more than an afternoon. If they had an adult in Pride Rock with them, the arguing wouldn't have spiralled out of control the way that it did. Also, this makes no sense with Simba's character in TLK 2. This is the same guy who sheltered his daughter the whole time she was growing up and wouldn't even let her explore more than 2ft from Pride Rock or even leave Pride Rock, at another point in the film. In this episode, she's still a cub and he's okay with leaving her to look after an entire kingdom for days on end! Yes, he did show hesitation, but that was after he and Nala had already left the Pride Lands. This episode fails to show just how okay he was with leaving his preteen daughter in charge of the kingdom for a few days with no adult supervision. Also, this episode and the series fails to explain how he regressed back into his over-protective state of mind in the second half of TLK 2.
-A minor complaint I have. This is a very minor nitpick. But, the distance between Kilio Valley and the Pride Lands that was established in this episode is very confusing. This episode implies that the elephants live approximately a two or three day walk from the Pride Lands, enough for Simba to outside of the kingdom, when in other episodes it's actually a part of the Pride Lands, just barely on the outskirts of the kingdom. I also don't get why the writers made it seem like Simba, Nala and Zazu took like a day or less to arrive at the elephants' funeral. There's no indication that they were travelling at night or that they ever slept. However, I understand, the writers just wanted to show some of journey and then transition to the day of the funeral, so I won't fault it to harshly. However, I do wish that the distance between Kilio Valley and the Pride Lands was consistent. This episode makes it seem like that whenever Kion and his friends have to help the elephants, it would take them a whole day to arrive on the scene. But, that's just a small criticism I had with this episode.
Overall
So, overall, I did always thoroughly enjoy this episode. Even as a kid, I could not stand the fact that Kiara got a lot of hate in the Lion Guard Fandom and that loads of people blamed her, just her, for a lot of the drama in this episode. Kion and Kiara shared 50% of the blame each and I think that Kiara is overhated. Anyways, I did like Kion and Kiara interacting like real siblings and slowly learning how to work together, it felt a little bit like a prequel to "Baboons" and "The Trail to Udugu", in that way. I like the lesson about learning to communicate well and to listen to one another and that they were both in the right and wrong, at different points. I liked the loving sibling dynamic at the end and the friendship with all the Lion Guard. I like the sense of family between Simba, Nala, Kiara and Kion at the end. Janja poses as a genuinely threat to Kiara. I think the humour was pretty solid as well and the educational value. I liked the worldbuilding aspect and the elephants' relationship with the lions. Aminifu is a cool headcanon character. The only parts I didn't like were, Tiifu and Zuri were unbearably annoying in this episode and weren't very good friends to Kiara. I don't like them being stereotypical Middle School girls. I hate their disrespect and belittling towards Kion and their toxic influence on Kiara. I didn't like Kiara and Kion's maliciousness at the start or the fact that the writers tried to draw Mufasa/Scar parallels. I don't like angry Simba at all in this series. I hate the fact that he gives off Parental Favouritism vibes in this episode. I don't like the fact that Kion and Kiara were hit with the idiot stick in this episode. Simba and Tiifu and Zuri are kind of at fault for all the drama in this episode. The song was just decent, not the best not the worst. Overall, I'll give this episode a 6.5/10, it's not perfect, but I think it deserves more love in the fandom and I think there are way worse episodes than it.

Species: Dog, mixed breed rescue
Age: 11 years old
Sex: Female, Spayed (she was spayed later in life than is recommended)
Weight: 40 lbs, very lean and has never been overweight
Relevant History: She has a history of both benign and malignant lumps including benign skin tags (4 years ago), benign mammary duct ectasia (4 years ago), malignant mammary tumor that was low grade/very small and caught early removed 2 years ago, had chest x-rays every 6 months since and all have been clear of indications of metastasis or reoccurance. The type of cancer this tumor was is considered a low to medium risk of metastasis or recurrence.
Current Presentation: About 5 weeks ago I noticed during a regular inspection for lumps and bumps that my dog was developing a skin infection near her rear most mammary region. She did have a run in with some fire ants so I assumed it had been an ant bite that got infected. When I brought her to the vet, the vet noted what felt like a tumor directly below the infection. It was hard to feel/palpate when the dog was in most positions, but she was able to feel it was there. The recommendation was to treat the skin infection and then, once clear of infection, proceed with lumpectomy and biopsy. She completed a 14 day course of cefpodoxime oral antibiotics but the infection did not improve. She was given a second course of the same but after 5 days it was getting worse rather than better. The vet prescribed oral clindamycin instead to see if that would clear it. She did a full course of that and when it was clear the infection was persisting we were advised to consider moving forward with the lumpectomy in case the tumoassociated hormone impact/immune impact may have been causing the infection resistance to improvement.
She had surgery on May 8th to remove the lump and some of the infection damaged tissue. Since then, her incision has stayed looking good (no swelling, no unusual colored discharge, appears to be closing up nicely) but as of yesterday, she developed an odor that I can only describe as smelling like infection. I might be wrong as I am not sure what a normal odor from a surgical site might be, but from an instinct level, it just seems off to me. She is still on clindamycin and the skin itself does not appear infected despite the odor. She does not have a fever or any other infection symptoms.
Her energy level is good and normal (she's still a highly active dog/more active than most young dogs we know), has a good appetite, and healthy bowel movements. She has no other health issues besides this. We have been keeping her confined other than potty breaks so she does not run and jump and ruin her stitches.
With all this context, yesterday we received the histopathology report from her lumpectomy. It does not sound good at all. The vet has offered a referral to an oncologist.
Clinical Report: I don't know how to attach the histopathology report directly, so I am copy/pasting the relevant sections below.
Description Haired skin, masss left caudal mammary chain: Elevating the epidermis and extending from the superficial dermis into the subcutis is a densely cellular, unencapsulated, poorly demarcated, infiltrative neoplasm composed of polygonal cells with distinct cell borders arranged in lobules, islands, nests, loose sheets, and rare tubules on a dense fibrovascular stroma. Neoplastic cells have a moderate amount of eosinophilic cytoplasm and a single round, centrally positioned nucleus with finely stippled chromatin and 1-3 prominent, round, basophilic nucleoli. Anisocytosis and anisokaryosis are moderate. Four mitotic figures are noted in ten high powered fields. Occasionally, neoplastic cells have karyomegaly, are multinucleated, or contain bizarre mitotic figures. Multifocally, throughout the superficial dermis and subcutis there are neoplastic emboli in the lumens of lymphatic vessels. Throughout the mass are small areas of hemorrhage and necrosis. The overlying epidermis is ulcerated and covered by a serocellular crust. Neoplastic cells abut and continue through the medial and caudal surgical margins.
Histopathologic Diagnosis Haired skin, mass left caudal mammary chain: Mammary gland anaplastic carcinoma – grade III (high grade) - incompletely excised - with vascular invasion.
Comments
The left caudal mammary chain mass is consistent with a grade III (high grade) anaplastic mammary gland carcinoma. Neoplastic cells abut and continue through the medial and caudal surgical margins, and surgical removal of this mass is considered incomplete. Many dermal and subcutaneous lymphatic vessels also contained neoplastic emboli, and there is concern for local or distant metastasis of this neoplasm. Full clinical staging of this dog is recommended. Mammary tumors occur commonly in female dogs, particularly in those that are intact or were spayed at an older age, and ~50% are malignant. In intact animals, tumor growth can be hormonally influenced. Mammary gland carcinomas can metastasize, most often to the local lymph nodes followed by distant sites such as the lungs and other viscera. This carcinoma is classified as grade III (high grade) according to the most recently proposed grading system. Grade III mammary gland carcinomas have the highest rates of metastasis, recurrence, and cancer-related death. The histologic pattern of this carcinoma is consistent with an anaplastic carcinoma subtype. Anaplastic carcinomas are the most malignant subtype of mammary gland carcinomas and all are classified as grade III. They have very high rates of metastasis and a reduced median survival time (~3 months). This patient should be examined for evidence of regional and distant metastasis.
My Questions for this community:
1) Based on the grade and type of cancer, what are the chances that an oncologist can help prolong things for a reasonable amount of time? I don't want to put my dog through chemo or procedures/etc if it will only add weeks or months, on the other hand, if it could add years of high quality of life than of course that could be the right choice for her. I want her final chapter to be comfortable, joyful, and peaceful. I do not want to put her through unnecessary stress just for my own sake of having more time. Her best interest is my only basis for decision making.
2) Given the odor but otherwise lack of infection symptoms, how likely is it that the cancer has weakened her immune system so much that she won't recover from the infection?

This analysis also comes from Cults and Nonconventional Religious Groups: A Collection of Outstanding Dissertations and Monographs, "Shakubuku: A Study of the Nichiren Shoshu Buddhist Movement in America, 1960-1975", David A. Snow, 1993, pp. 175-177 - it's a section within the analysis here about how the SGI's "discussion meetings" were carefully planned and choreographed sales pitch performances aimed at convincing any "guests" to convert. I thought this part about the carefully structured "experiences" deserved its own post:

In addition to the general supportive role, members are provided with instructions regarding the more specific role activity. That is, they are coached as to how to give explanations of what NSA [former name of SGI-USA] is all about, to lead songs, and to give testimonies. Regarding the latter, for example, members are reminded to respond to the emcee's request for experiences with great alacrity and enthusiasm by thrusting their hands in the air in a vigorous manner and yelling out "hi."

Actually, it's "Hai!", which means "Yes/Okay/I'll do it" in Japanese.

And if called upon, they are reminded to attend to the five major points or the "five S's" of giving a good experience.

That "coaching" is done before the live performance at the "discussion meeting", of course, not reminded within that performance context. That would break the illusion, as you can imagine.

The first point is Shakubuku. Remember, the guests have absolutely no understanding of this practice or any NSA terminology. Always talk to the guests and not to the members. The sole purpose of an experience is to make the guests curious enough to join ... Don't use Buddhist terms and names the guests won't understand...
Point number two is story. Make sure an experience is just that - something which happened to you and which you either changed into a benefit or changed an aspect of your life-condition through chanting. Basically , an experience should be structured as
(a) I had a problem or I was satisfied [sic] with my life and

That's obviously a typo; it should be either "I wasn't satisfied with my life" or "I was dissatisfied with my life", as confirmed by part (b):

(b) then I chanted, solved the problem or changed that aspect of my life which I wasn't satisfied with...
Make sure that you stress that chanting was the ingredient which changed those aspects of your life. Otherwise, the guests won't be able to connect just how chanting and a person's problems relate.
The third point to keep in mind is simplicity. Make each point of the story simple and to the point. Don't clutter the issue with unnecessary details. Try to be as brief as possible.
The fourth point is that of a seeking mind. What this means is that the person giving an experience should try to find out what type of experience the leader wants to have conveyed to the guests that will most benefit them.

Clearly, this is all about crafting the most persuasive sales pitch, not about honestly and authentically communicating anything real.

We're not saying that there is a "one" type of experience that is sought, but experiences have to be geared to the guests at the meeting. A middle-aged person is definitely going to have hard time relating to the change in values of a college student... The point is, make sure you are perceptive enough to give the type of experience which the guests at the meeting can relate to best.

Keeping in mind that no one knows for certain WHO these "guests" will be - this sort of "adjustment" in the details has to be made on the fly, which demonstrates the inauthenticity of the "experience" performance. But the culties are supposed to make it appear "authentic":

The final point is one of the most important - sincerity ... Even if your experience isn't that spectacular or full of content, the guests can relate to a person' [sic] sincere way of giving the experience...

The "5 S's" section is footnoted as coming from:

"The Five S's of Giving a Good Experience," World Tribune (September 11, 1974). Also, see the NSA Quarterly (Winter, 1975), p. 13; and the World Tribune (October 25, 1974).

It was obviously a structured thing that was explicitly taught (indoctrinated).

These five pointers on how to construct and give a "good" experience are mentioned repeatedly in the movement's literature and by its leaders. Furthermore, members can learn how to construct testimonies in accordance with these instructions by simply watching and listening to other members, and especially core converts, when giving their respective experiences.

You can probably surmise that after a while, these "experiences" will all start to show the same standardized structure; this will be accepted within the cult (because that's the goal), but the guests won't realize just how structured it is - and the focus on making it as manipulative as possible.

Indeed, rank-and-file members and new converts are often told to watch and listen to how so-and-so gives an experience.

That's true - I remember that.

It should thus come as no surprise that the testimonies given at these meetings, or wherever, are usually structured in accordance with the above pointers or instructions. And when they are not, the violators are usually pulled aside after the meeting and provided with corrective suggestions. At the end of several meetings, for example, I overheard the district chief reprimanding and re-instructing members regarding the unsuitable testimonies they had given earlier in the evening. This sanctioning and corrective work occurs not only when unsatisfactory testimonies are given but whenever meeting or movement-related roles are performed in an unsatisfactory manner and whenever members visibly engage in conduct that is inappropriate from the standpoint of NSA. During the San Diego Convention weekend, for example, I observed on several occasions members who were being brought back into line for engaging in unbecoming conduct, such as smoking grass on the bus while en route to the convention. That members who conduct themselves and perform their roles in an unsuitable and unconvincing manner are frequently pulled aside and provided with corrective guidance thus suggests a third consideration pointing to the highly orchestrated and theatrical character of discussion meetings in particular and of NSA in general.

Everyone must be "on" at all times; they must at all times display the SGI-defined image that SGI believes will impress the public and be most appealing to draw in potential new members.
While these specific "five S's" aren't around any more, there are still guidelines for how to give an "experience":

How do I write an experience for SGI budhist meeting?
State the difficulty you faced.
State how long you have been struggling with it, and how it affected you.
State what you did to resolve it, and how much you chanted.
State the resolution, and what that means to you.
Keep it to under 3.5 minutes.
Before you give your experience, read it to someone who cares about you, someone you know, and ask for an honest opinion on how your delivery is. from 7 years ago

REHEARSE it, in other words. These "experiences" are NOT spontaneous!

This is probably the most ambitious project I've done, but I'm on day 62 as of writing this, and it's been a blast! Here are my notes for every day in this: Day 1 (inf-20100607) Did nothing more than make myself a house and get food. Wood seemed scarce, so I mined coal during the night.
Day 2 (inf-20100608) Lit up the area, and made myself a cloth cap and shirt. The first sapling grew today, so I chopped it down and replanted.
Day 1 (again) (inf-20100611) Minecraft decided that my world didn't exist so I had to restart. Not too hard, though. I had to quickly build myself a wooden house (good thing there were so many trees!) and hide in there for the night. I didn't have coal, so no torches, and no torches means no light, and no light means PITCH BLACK nights. I was genuinely scared by this. Also, the skeletons and zombies made player noises. Weird.
Day 2 (again) (inf-20100615) Finished the wood shack and installed windows (not the OS, mind you). Then I added a tube to the back of the mineshaft to get to my house easier, and I also went mining. Found coal, but didn't have enough time to mine it due to it being update time.
Day 3 (inf-20100616-1) Decided to make a giant cobblestone nerd-pole so that I wouldn't get lost when exploring. Speaking of exploring, I did just that... for a little bit. That was very short-lived. I ended up mining for a while, and found the void-lava.
Day 4 (inf-20100617-1) Today was so far the most successful mining trip. I nerded out about the old trees having logs on the inside and the new trees not having that and those two kinds of trees being right next to each other. That's a run on sentence isn't it? Then I went into the mines and found more iron than I can count. Like I said, successful.
Day 5 (inf-20100617-2) Mining trip was good. Got more iron and found some void gold (a gold vein that exposed the void). It was cool.
Day 6 (inf-20100618, Seecret Friday 1) I screwed around with minecarts.
Day 7 (inf-20100624) Decided to light up the area around spawn, but not in spawn. Decided to fight baddies for the heck of it that night. Also made the house look more appealing.
Day 8 (inf-20100625-1) Everything that I placed and did in the last day got reversed to how they were on Day 6, except for my inventory. I spent the day fixing everything. In the night, I went mining and found more iron. No diamonds D:
Day 9 (inf-20100625-2, Seecret Friday 2) Today they added dungeons and some other stuff but it's not very important to me right now. Went mining for the day.
Day 10 (inf-20100627) Nothing interesting was added today so I went exploring to find water. I also made a glass room in my mine to tell the time.
Day 11 (inf-20100630-1) Infdev 20100629 didn't wanna work. So here we are, at 20100630-1. Stairs were added in the last version, so I added stairs to my mine. The stairs sure are finnicky, though! I also filled a creeper blast with water (that is surprisingly calming...)
Day 12 (inf-20100630-2) The last Infdev day. Tomorrow it will be Alpha! To prepare for the long journey of Alpha releases I built a new addition to the house. Finally, I made a sign and a shrine for Infdev. Farewell!
Day 13 (a1.0.1_01) Last version was Seecret Friday, but the file is lost and I have to play this version. But there are so many changes!! Excited! Didn't find redstone in the mines, though. I also finished the new room and organized the chests.
Day 14 (a1.0.2_01) Went exploring for some coal and cooked all my pork chops.
Day 15 (a1.0.2_02) Can't remember much other than that I went mining. That's it I guess?
Day 16 (a1.0.3) Went exploring for some coal but found a cool cave and also found lots of coal and iron
Day 17 (a1.0.4, Seecret Friday 4) Same as Day 16.
Day 18 (a1.0.5) Went back home and decided to go strip-mining because caving didn't go very well. Not much happened.
Day 19 (a1.0.5_01) There is a new project now; I am carving my face on a mountain. Gonna need a lot of stone though. And gravel. Lots and lots of gravel.
Day 20 (a1.0.6, Seecret Friday 5) Cactuses were added. Neat I guess. Also Boats. But that doesn't apply to what I did today because what I did today was work on my face. I went to get gravel. There was a lot of gravel.
Day 21 (a1.0.6_01) Marked the gravel spot, got distracted, and now I'm lost. at least I found a cactus!
Day 22 (a1.0.6_03) Using the power of looking back at the footage, I was able to return home! With the cactus! Yippee!
Day 23 (a1.0.7) Continued work on the face: I did it! Now I am making the body. Might need more gravel...
Day 24 (a1.0.8_01) i died.
Day 25 (a1.0.9) I continued working on my statue of me and got some more gravel. Had 1 block left after finishing!
Day 26 (a1.0.10) Went strip mining, found no diamonds.
Day 27 (a1.0.11, Seecret Friday 6) This update, lots of cool stuff was added but nothing that I can use. Went strip mining and found zero diamonds.
Day 28 (a1.0.12) The splash was "missingno" for some reason. Anyways, continued working on a giant tower. Ladders suck
Day 29 (a1.0.13) Finished the tower. Ladders STILL suck...
Day 30 (a1.0.13_01) Got bored of building so I went in one direction to find some sugarcane. Found some and am going back
Day 31 (a1.0.13_01 1Kin24h edition) The title screen was changed to say 1K in 24h because Minecraft sold 1,000 units in 24 hours! That might not seem like a lot but at the time that was big news. ANYWAYS, got back home and planted sugarcane, and also made a bookshelf. Also, bricks!
Day 32 (a1.0.14-1, Seecret Friday 7) Chickens and chest minecarts and furnace minecarts are added and I WANT A RAIL SYSTEM so I decided that my face could be a cart station. also iron doors suck
Day 33 (a1.0.14-2) What did I do... Oh yeah i put a tower compass thing.
Day 34 (a1.0.15) Played Minecraft, Watched Hermitcraft, Got Gravel.
Day 35 (a1.0.16) Mined some dirt
Day 36 (a1.0.16_01) placed the dirt replacing the sand, also paths.
Day 37 (a1.0.16_02) paths. PATHS!!!!!!1!
Day 38 (a1.0.17_02) Fences were added in alpha 1.0.17 but that version and a1.0.7_01 are lost so this is the one I have to play. Anyways, I got some wood for a farm project. How is that related? You'll see...
Day 39 (a1.0.17_03) See, fences placed underneath farmland makes the farmland UNTRAMPLEABLE. That's nice.
Day 40 (a1.0.17_04) Last a1.0.1x version! Grinding for wood sux.
Day 41 (a1.1.0-1, Seecret Friday 9) Compasses! I WANT A COMPASS. So I don't get lost ;) but i don't have redstone so i went mining for some. NO LUCK as always...
Day 42 (a1.1.0-2) Mining. No. Redstone. Or. Diamonds.
Day 43 (a1.1.1, Seecret Saturday) SNEAKIN' ROUND THE BLOCK, WOOHOO! Spent this legendary version just mining and found BEDROCK. I'll tell you that that wasn't there before. Still no redstone OR diamonds. FOUND A CAVE, THOUGH.
Day 44 (a1.1.2) idk what I did, I cooked pork I guess
Day 45 (a1.1.2_01) I mined out a bit of my face and gave a tour of the world to Pap. Last version with neon foliage.
Day 46 (a1.2.0, Halloween Update) Because this version added the Nether, I desperately tried to get diamonds so I could make a nether portal. Alas, no luck on that front.
Day 47 (a1.2.0_01) Continued mining until my pickaxes broke. After that, I hollowed out some more of my face. That's it?
Day 48 (a1.2.0_02) I tried making a rail way to the resource gathering area, but turns out that furnace minecarts are extremely finnicky. That project will have to wait until Beta 1.5...
Day 49 (a1.2.1_01) Turns out that Alpha 1.2.1 is the only lost Alpha 1.2 version. Go figure. Anyways, I started working on Mama's Mother's Day gift thing, and got ambushed by like a million mobs during the night. This is what I signed up for when switching to Hard mode, what did I expect?
Day 50 (a1.2.2-1) The ability to easily switch between texture packs was added in this version, replacing the ever-defunct "Play tutorial level" button. Also, nether portals with F4. I'm definitely going to use that once I figure out how it works. Update: figured out how the portals work, they seem to be random. I tried it in a test world then in my actual world and it worked! It was really cool in the Nether, but I just so happen to be underground. Ugh.
Day 51 (a1.2.2-2) Spent the day continuing working on the Mother's Day gift. I didn't die this time!
Day 52 (a1.2.3) Coordinates were added to the F3 menu, which is pretty nice. Now I CAN'T get lost! Anyways, I finished the Mother's Day gift and then died due to skelley boi. Man I need to mine... That will be a project for tomorrow.
Day 53 (a1.2.3_01-1) I didn't mine. Instead, I focused on ranged attacks and getting food and leather for armor.
Day 54 (a1.2.3_01-2) I continued to get resources from animals and ended up with a lot of pork chops and a leather shirt.
Day 55 (a1.2.3_02) Started a new mine so that I can get iron and diamonds faster. I found iron actually now!
Day 56 (a1.2.3_04) Turns out a1.2.3_03 doesn't exist. Weird, huh? Anyway, I finished digging down to y11 and am installing stairs.
Day 57 (a1.2.4, a1.2.3_05 in-game) Continued mining out my brand-new definitely not abandoned mineshaft. Got some of the unused rails and put them to good use!
Day 58 (a1.2.4_01) Went a little overtime huh? Well today was kinda uneventful, i mined, mined some more, and mined EVEN MORE. STILL no diamonds. I'm kinda losing hope...
Day 59 (a1.2.5) Only 1 alpha version left! Wow, time really did fly fast, huh? Anyway, I went and made a new room below the furnace room for storage, so that when I am in the beta versions I won't run out of storage. I also need wood.
Day 60 (a1.2.6) It's the LAST version of Alpha, and you know what I'm gonna do? Make an alpha shrine of course! I did the same for Infdev on day 12 if you remember. So yeah, that's what I'll do today. Update: I got killed by a zombie at the last second it COULD have. That sux
Day 61 (b1.0) Immediately, the Alpha shrine got blown up by a creeper instantly. And I died twice. It gets better, though. I continued working on the storage area and got things sorted out. However, there appears to be an inventory bug and that made my life waay harder. Still though, pretty productive day!
Day 62 (b1.0_01) The stupid chest bug was fixed! Yaay!