I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/ThrowRa-Alergy posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 9th May 2024
Update - 10th May 2024
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AITAH for telling my bf that his daughter is not allowed in my apartment because she doesn’t stop smuggling peanuts in?
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I can’t have any contact with peanuts and I am terrified of them due to some bad experience ms ending up in the hospital. I have my shots now on me all the time. It is not exactly airborne but I could have irritation and if it for example touch something that had been in contact with peanuts i could have swollen eyes and itchy nose and throat. Ingesting is fatal.
She is 14 and has no respect what so ever for my anxiety. My bf and I moved in and she lives with us every other week. Now I told my bf that I don’t want her here because she is not respecting my boundaries. But that I understand that he doesn’t want to live with me in that case we could revert back to him being with me when he doesn’t have his daughter. He got very upset because he said that he loved me and wanted a real relationship and to live in one home.
So I told him that maybe he should be with someone who isn’t allergic then. He thinks I am being very unfair. He said well, she will probably hate the next one too and the next and the next because she wants her mom and me to be together again so it wasn’t “me specifically” that she dislikes. I said that maybe he needs to take a break from dating then until she is onboard but he said that he couldn’t be single just because his daughter wants him to. Before me he was single for 6 years and that wasn’t good enough.
Before we decided to move in together, we have done some “trial” living together and never once did his daughter do anything about the nuts. But now for 4 months she has always peanuts with her. I don’t know why she is doing this. I thought we were cool. She just smirks and says maybe if you are so allergic, maybe you’re not meant to survive(a stand up comedy bit from Louis CK)
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Comments
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ERVetSurgeon
NTA but you need to leave this relationship. She thinks it is funny and he doesn't care. The amount of disrespect for your health is amazing.
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CruelxIntention
This. He’s allowing this instead of getting to the core of it and putting the child in therapy where she clearly belongs. She’s plenty old enough to know this can kill someone and to have complete disregard over that shouldn’t be overlooked. You may love this guy but I’m betting you love breathing more.
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WonderingGemini84

"You may love this guy but I'm betting you love breathing more."

THIS!!!
You can not love someone when you're dead.
The boyfriend doesn't seem to realise how serious "the no peanuts"-thing is. This is a non-negotable. Your home should be your safe space, she doesn't respect that and he doesn't hear you (or doesn't care enough)
Throw them out OP!!!
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weeperOfChimneys
NTA, she has all but said she's attempting to kill you with peanuts. Quoting a comedian doesn't make it funny or acceptable. He hasn't bothered to search her and divest her of the nuts when he picks her up either.

OOP: He offered this as a suggestion. Visitation before she entered my apartment but I don’t want this kind of life. I was fine only seeing him on his weeks off. But I understand that he wants something more permanent than meeting every other week so he probably should find another woman

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YoghurtSnodgrass
She would probably just hide peanuts around his place for you to hopefully come in contact with. Just break up. His kid is trying to kill you.
Where is she even getting all these nuts from? Is her mom buying them for her? Does she buy them from a vending machine at school? How crazy is the little turd?
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**Judgement - NTA*\*
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Update - 1 day later
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Hi everyone! Thank you so much for really caring about a stranger with a dilemma. I was glad that I wasn’t wrong in my guts. I told my bf that I wanted to break up.
He was very sad and tried to reason with me. He suggested that we could live separately. His daughter will soon be an adult. I told him that being 18 doesn’t guarantee that she leaves the nest nor that he stops being a father either. Any time she could come across hardships and wants to move home and she needs to find that home. She couldn’t have it with me.
And about living separately, while it is fine now and some few years ahead. What about the future?
He was silent and listening to me. I felt overwhelmed because I love him. He said that the only way his daughter will be happy is when he is alone. She is in therapy but she has not shown any regards for her father or his life. She seems to not see him as an individual with feelings. He is just a father. I didn’t know what to tell him and just said that she probably needed time to grow up.
Until he moves out, his daughter is not allowed to be in my apartment. She called and threw a tantrum about her father choosing me instead. That she has the right to live with her father every other week and this shouldn’t change. I didn’t say anything, they need to fix this as a family, I am not a part of this family anymore.
He rented his apartment for a year’s contract so I don’t know how he will manage to find a new or terminate the lease so he could move back to his old apartment. Anyway he is staying here for a couple of months.
I am very sad that this beautiful relationship has come to an end. But I need to think about myself now.
​
Comments
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he_nooch73
Know you made the right choice for you, your health, your safety. As someone said in your other post ‘you may love him, but you probably love breathing more’. I think you’re right about his daughter never accepting his partners. He needs to address this with her in therapy. I hope her therapist knows about the peanuts because her behaviour is truly disturbing. I’m so sorry your relationship had to end.
Commercial-Ask3416
I feel so bad for you and your boyfriend. I feel like he is stuck between a rock and hard place regarding his daughter. I know people are saying he should discipline her or this and that, but it sounds like it wouldn't work and that she would likely escalate. I work with kids like her. Hoping her not being able to live with her dad the next few months will be a wake up call for her but in my experience I doubt it. Good luck to the both of you, especially him as he has to deal with the fallout. Not your monkey, not your circus anymore.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

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So my first therapy session is Thursday. It’s taken me a long, long, time to make this first step. Last week I finally just came clean to my wife about my on-going sex and porn addiction. It was eating me alive inside and I just couldn’t go on living with these secrets.
She’s being supportive but her idea of me is completely shattered. Everything she thought I was is a lie (she said).
She keeps asking if getting it off my chest has made me feel any better but the truth is…no. I feel so stupid for admitting everything to her. I feel so judged. I feel so inadequate and inferior. I feel like I’ve let my family down. We aren’t telling the kids. But I still feel awful. I feel like the secret was safe with me and now I risk exposure to our friends and family and I’m sick to my stomach.
So sick that I’ve become impotent. Sex is the last thing on my mind right now. I feel zero desire to have sex or masturbate right now.
I’ve deleted all of my “favorites” from my phone. I’m posting using my “fake” profile that I used to pursue my fantasies and fetishes on. I’ve deleted my profiles on the sites I used for hookups and escorts. I’ve deleted all my email accounts that I used to hide my activities.
I’m praying that this therapist can help me overcome my addictions. I’ve been a porn addict for decades. I was molested as a young teen by a man who lived across the street from me. He used porn to groom me basically. Because of what happened to me as a teen when I became an adult I sought out xxx arcades with GH's, joined sex finder apps, gay dating sites, used Backpage for casual encounters with men and trans women, hired trans escorts routinely, everything and anything to try to and satiate my appetites. I used people as human Fleshlights to get me off for years.
I finally woke up and realized what I have been doing and how hollow and empty and ashamed I am.
I truly hope I can overcome this and find a way to enjoy intimacy with my wife without the use of porn, fetishes, etc., again.
I hope I didn't give too much details. Just trying to give context.
I feel so lost right now.
I hope I'm doing this for the right reasons. Thankfully there is no law enforcement component to this. But I am very afraid of how far I can go if I don't get help now.
Thank you for creating this space. I have nowhere else to turn for support, advice, guidance. Until Thursday.

Hello po. Newly hired po ako ang starting date ko po ay sa june. Paiba iba po ba ng site sa manila pagka full rto? Balak ko po kasi magrent o bedspace. Thank you po.

I have some flexible days at the beginning of my trip and was thinking about taking my kids to USJ. I really don't understand the process of getting into Super Nintendo World. The site mentions these guidelines:

●To enter SUPER NINTENDO WORLD™, an "Universal Express Pass with an Area Timed Entry Ticket: Advance Booking" or "Area Timed Entry Ticket"/”Standby Entry Ticket" is required.>Distribution of "Area Timed Entry Tickets" may end early depending on conditions on the day of visit.>There may be times when entry is possible without an "Area Timed Entry Ticket: Advance Booking" or an "Area Timed Entry Ticket"/”Standby Entry Ticket".>Attraction, restaurants, stores, or photo services in the area may be closed for the day or operations may be suspended without prior notice.※To acquire "Area Timed Entry Tickets" smoothly, we recommend downloading the official Universal Studios Japan app in advance.

As I scroll down this page, which is the page to buy express passes, there are many options with different dates and attractions available. First problem: none of them mention access into Super Nintendo World. Though a few of them do list attractions there (Yoshi, Mario Kart). Nothing that uses the above language of "Area Timed Entry Ticket."
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What am I doing wrong here? Perhaps buying this pass through their website is not the ideal path?

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I (29F) have a hard time getting close to people. I’ve been talking to this guy on and off since 2022. I had met him way back in 2022 on a dating site (which I don’t use any dating sites anymore it’s been a minute) we’ve kept in touch since. We recently started talking more again and are planning to meet this weekend to go out and eat. I have canceled plans on him in the past. He did mention to me that he needs consistency from me emotionally and physically. I understand that but I just have a hard time when I’m dating someone I kinda freak out and get cold feet and back away when I feel things might be getting serious. I don’t like being like that. I guess it’s the part of letting people in emotionally. I don’t like that type of vulnerability and don’t usually put myself out there like that. He makes me a bit nervous because he seems more traditional and is older than me and is looking for something serious. Have any of you felt like this before and how did you deal with/overcome it?

From Christopher Alvarez's article:
There are rumors that a hotel security guard was fired for letting me wait inside the hotel instead of leaving me out to freeze. I believe this is true, and I feel bad. I'm sorry to him and his family. Good people doing good things out of the kindness of their hearts should not be condemned, and The Mark Hotel should reassess who they put at the top of the chain. (The Brooklyn Eaglle has reached out to The Mark Hotell for comment and will update with their response.)
EbonyPrince2k24 kept telling us us to look into 7/27/23. I went and found this from the legal filing:
June 27, 2023: At approximately 8:30PM, the Defendant and three other males gathered across the street from the Hotel on 77th Street. They began to chant “The Mark has mice” and “The Mark helped Epstein”. The group then proceeded to approach the Restaurant guests seating on the terrace on 77th Street. Security Officer Andrew Dorn put himself between a protester and the guests. At the same time, the Defendant and the other male protesters began taunting Bellman Mr. Timothy Giannakoudis, who called the police. At 9:00PM, police arrived. The police first spoke with protestors. Seargent Joseph (2060) and Officer Simon (21701) then explained that despite the disturbance to our guests, this is a very grey area and there is nothing they can do. The police told the protestors that they are not allowed to stop at guests’ tables, however they are allowed on the sidewalk as long as they keep moving. The group began walking the sidewalks holding up signs and chanting. Security Officer Dorn told the police that the Plaintiff cannot have this while guests are dining. The police spoke to the group again and asked them to go across the street. All police left at approximately 9:10PM. The protestors went across the street, chanting. At 9:15PM, Bellman Giannakoudis removed his personal vehicle from the parking spot in front of the hotel and the protestors moved in front of his car, refusing to move. There was a short standoff with horn honking and one protester accusing Giannakoudis of hitting him, which was not witnessed by anyone. The Defendant’s Cadillac SUV then pulled in right behind Giannakoudis’ car. Giannakoudis said that the SUV hit his car and called the police back. Giannakoudis was asked to not interact with the protestors, and Front Office Manager Dawa took his post. At approximately 10:00PM the police came back and spoke to the group and Giannakoudis.
In the court filing, his name is Theodore Giannakoudis.
On his LinkedIn profile he is Timothy.
On Instagram he is Theo Harry
https://www.instagram.com/theo_harry1981
He has a hyperlink to this website on his profile:
http://greek.com/
An example of the dating sites it redirects to:
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Hello what they have of me is a lot video and pictures happen a year ago now started as friends on dateing site went to pics voice then video and then replayed the video they took of me showed me my friends list i never even finished reading there message i knew what was going on and iam not the type to be blackmailed i would rather take the embarrassments than pay them when it happened i told them to do there worse then blocked them and deleted every social media account i have they have a list of my friends and my phone number i get so many calls iam scared every time it rings i wont answer unless i know them so far i cant find anything online or no one has mentioned on getting a video i so scared those call are them trying to contact me

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Find an ANG base
Find a list of MOST jobs in your state (Recruiters will have a more up-to-date-list of exact openings)
Common Topics:

Palace Chase - Palace Chase is an ACTIVE DUTY program and has its own AFI.

The ANG has NO say in if and when the AD will let you go or anything to do with your outprocessing. You HAVE to work with an in-service recruiter if you want to Palace Chase to the ANG. Do not contact ANG recruiters directly without first going through an in-service recruiter.
Find the one for your region on Facebook or This Post
How to join as an Officer Almost no ANG units take people with no military experience to be officers unless it is a specialty career field.
Pilot Career Information The best collection of information is found a these two sites, not in our Joining thread: BogiDope and Flying Squadron BaseOps Forums
MEPS
MEPS and the ASVAB
MEPS day of advice
Medical
We can not give medical advice about a condition but there are guides to look up your condition yourself
The Enlistment Standards guide is DOD Instruction 6130.03 Volume 1, look your condition up in the guide and if it is disqualifying you MAY be able to pursue a waiver. Some users may be able to talk about the waiver process.
Recruiters
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u/uncleluu - Basic Military Training and Cyber tech school
u/wynotwy - Training and CCAF
An unofficial FAQ for those to ponder over as they are going through this journey

I've recently reentered the dating scene and I'm on a few dating sites/apps. Some girls have requested my email address (which I provided) and are sending me emails with pictures.
The email address I provide is an "alias" which forwards to my Proton email address. When I receive an email from a girl that contains an attachment, it just has the symbol for an attachment which I can then download on my (Windows 10) desktop, scan with antivirus, run through Dangerzone, etc. I feel pretty secure with this method.
However, I also have my Protonmail account setup with Thunderbird on my Linux laptop (Kubuntu). Today, when I checked my Protonmail on Thunderbird, I realized that I had "View Attachments Inline" activated, and pictures that are being sent to me are fully visible.
My question: is this safe? Am I exposing myself to viruses/worms/malicious attack by viewing attachments inline? Is there a safer way to view attachments in Thunderbird?
What do you recommend I do (other than get off seedy dating sites lol)? TIA.

Problem

I have a fully functioning Nextjs 14 applciation that semantically works. Its of a website I made that's already deployed with no issues. But now when I'm running the project again in VScode, it breaks giving a useReducer error.

TypeError: Cannot read properties of null (reading 'useReducer') 

So far I haven't found any useful documentation that directly addresses this issue. I've attached my dependances and error that I'm receiving.

Dependancy List

"dependencies": { "@vercel/analytics": "^1.1.1", "@vercel/speed-insights": "^1.0.1", "next": "^14.0.4", "package": "^1.0.1", "react": "^18.2.0", "react-dom": "^18.2.0" }, "devDependencies": { "@types/node": "17.0.25", "@types/react": "18.0.6", "@types/react-dom": "18.0.2", "autoprefixer": "^10.4.13", "daisyui": "^4.4.19", "eslint": "8.14.0", "eslint-config-next": "12.1.5", "postcss": "^8.4.18", "tailwindcss": "^3.2.2", "typescript": "4.6.3" } 

What I've Done

I've ran my project normally with sudo npm run dev, expecting my site to come up. Unfortunately I've seen the same error in my other pojects. The same useReducer error I got also appeared in a brand new Nextjs 14 project that was installed with create-next-app .
After seeing the error, I've updated and upgraded all of my dependanies with sudo npm update && upgrade. This means making everything up-to-date with the maintained repos or libraries that aren't bug ridden. It did not work as wel.
Then I deleted the .next and node_modules folder in my project correctly. I'm working on an M1, which means going through permissions every single turn ensuring security. This went well, but was not the solution.

I still remember time was pretty slow in the 80s and 90s. But in the 21st century, time definitely has wings! Because many men are very busy nowadays, some of them don’t even have time to meet single ladies from Ukraine via online dating, even though they really want to. Therefore, if you are wondering how you can find time to meet women, this article is for you!
It’s time to break up with busyness. To help you find solutions to busyness, I have a list of ideas for you to consider.

1. De-scheduling: This is a way to edit your time and manage your week. De-scheduling your calendar opens space to expand your well-being and happiness rather than extending the timeline of your busy day. Now please have a look at your calendar and ask yourself, “Which activities bring me results and which activities don’t bring me results?” Then you can cancel low-leverage activities.
2. Join an international dating website: This technique is just like making passive income if I can use a business analogy. That means when you become a member of an international dating site that introduces single international women to you, the website will automatically send suitable candidates to you. This works even more if they offer online dating.
3. Hire an international dating agency that offers international trips that include flight, accommodation, translators, and so on, so that you don’t need to spend your time organising your trip by yourself when you want to visit your lady.

Online dating will change your love life. Why don’t you take the first step today?!

hii take 2 haha (hmu only if looking for a long term thing)
hellooo! shooting my shot here :> pls be nice and WHOLESOME AND SFW lang pls! let’s go on cute picnic dates or study dates? food crawl in different parts of the metro or just coexist on discord calls in silence :) looking for a long term thing (like a constant study bud?)
abt me: - 22, F, third year education student, 170cm, mestiza (if that matters), and normal bmi. looks maybe 5/10 and 7/10 on a good day xd
personality - a social butterfly - loves taking pictures of the sky - super empath 😔 - social batt never dies - sings sometimes - does not require too much attention - can cook - loves pets
pros of dating me: - parents r not strict - willing to split the bill on some dates - respects ur time - is a chameleon, whatever u love to do, i will learn to love or support u :>
cons: - loves matcha a lil too much - broke college student - tamad and slow replies most of the time (im sorry in adv)
about u (not required, just a pref): - knows how to carry a conversation - speaks good english - has both kanal and aircon humour
non nego: - knows about social issues - has hatred towards the ph govt
sorry ang dami!! send a fun n punchy intro together with a pic of u :> see u in the dms ^{_^}

Well, this year had been very tough for me especially that i moved out and started like in England from an overseas country and study in Scotland which was also another miserable story but it happened by some miracle as well, so yea i go to skl there as I live in on the borders between Scotland and England. Sometimes, you just wish things could’ve been clear in the beginning in some sort of ways in your life, so you could’ve prepared for your future in a more manageable and better way, but since we have no clue what the future holds for us, we have to cope with it that way. For me, when I first moved to the UK, I solemnly wanted to have a degree in medicine (till now but through a whole different, realistic route for now) in a very unrealistic and insane way before. my family and I currently live in England as I said, and since the Scottish government has issued a rule for people being eligible to study in scotland for free if they have lived for 3 years continuously and either they or their parents have ILR (permanent residency) they can apply for fee wavier for uni, so I was on hope for doing an odd plan where we’d move before a certain date, 1st of August, to Scotland and stay in college in Glasgow or Edinburgh for a year and then look for another college which is the only available one that offers advanced highers for medical school and take a gap year and work (as if i were the grandson of queen Elizabeth or smt like everything could be that easy), yet life doesn’t work that way and it never will. I learnt it the hard way tho anyways, turned out after emailing unis, that i can’t be eligible and i became hopeless cuz i will be 19 by that time and won’t be eligible to attend this college as i wouldn’t be connected to a school since this is a rule to be enrolled there. So, I didn’t give up and looked for other routes and stuff (not for medicine tho). I then decided to do physiotherapy and applied to 5 unis (got 2 conditional offers thankfully) one which is very far away and the student accommodation is very expensive and the other is where I live actually so basically, local uni but the local uni requires high grades from me (not very high tho according to what i have already equip from level 3 qualifications) so like I did Alevel Biology before (not in England tho) so yea that stands for 40UCAS points according to the grade i got in this subject. so im literally 88 UCAS points short. However, since I am doing some scottish highers this year (4 subjects), i said to myself yeaaa that’s ezzz who the hell can’t achieve BCCC? and yea turns out that im a big-shot clown LOL i am way too concerned of not even passing like tff!! but yea anyways, this is not really my fault cuz i started skl in November, took me a month to cope with stuff (studies, new life, school, and uni stuff like preparations and interviews and thing like that ofc yk what i mean) so it was a huge shot for me all at once including that i had several fam issues that disturbed my life frr and i was even in a worse state of mind before all of that, so i was completely burnt out ( i couldn’t study, socialise, or even js get out of bed) everything was too stressful and like my whole future is literally relying on lame nonsense subjects like PE and geography PE didn’t make sense at allll especially that i had no resources and for anyone who has previously attained PE in scotland, they will know how much it’s a suffer to study from past papers cuz marking scheme was way too irrelevant with diff answers everytime, and it’s all literally about subjective answers from different candidates as I have observed and not based on curriculum or any sort of model answer 70% of the time, and literally school teachers especially the PE was the worst of all the time. she never helped me with anything even when she tried to, she used to tell me to come to her after school which is literally at 4 and I had to take the train which would arrive at 5:20 if i ever wait for that time and go back home at 6? like sorry mate i aint doing that. she never gave me any resources to study from or any guidance or advice about the whole thingy. her classes were very boring and useless i swear. So yea typically i had to self study “everythinggggg” and by everything i mean everything except for English but yea unless i had all of these previous info about writing aspects and stuff, i swear i could’ve not even made into stepping inside the class. Lol so it’s been basically only me working hard as i already had background about stuff which helped me to some extent cope with the change and not drastically drown. this is attributed to the fact that i used to be in an international british system in my home country so thank god i was or else i would have been cooked. i already got cooked tho so yeah i found that website 3 days before the exam i think it’s called STAPE which quite helped me and it’s my only hope for now, but like brooooo 3 dayss??💀💀 even though i had been searching for monthsssssss i dont know why it appeared to 3 days before the exam this is an argumenet the other argumenet is geography like can u plzz tell me who tf made this syllabus?💀💀 and why are questions worth 8-12 marks on average? and yea like one mark is like a whole line and can sometimes be 2 lines in the marking scheme not to mention that many questions are verryyy similar in answer “marking scheme” even when they are different questions i remember that in the Physical geography section
so yea in a nutshell, SQA is shit asf i mean when it comes to the british system for PE, you basically study pure Human Physiology and Biomechanics. like why the hell isn’t it that way for SQA? why does it no make sense?? like frr doesn’t make sense at all and it’s such a crap subject i see. No offense, but like im very glad SQA is going to be scrapped forever and the next generations dont have to go through this.
so yea guys this us my short-long story LMFAO im js so desperate and devasted rn cuz i can’t believe that PE is now deciding on whether or not i will have a future oh and let’s add geo to the latter
whomever’s reached this point, i beg u not to do those two subjs ever, drop out school easier now guys all i want from u is to wish me luck or death cuz im dead either ways after what sqa did to me ik this whole thread was too random speaking abt diff aspects and stuff but yea it’s js my miserable life story LOL

Hi,
I am trying to be a bit proactive with the immigration situation. My Filipino wife and I got married outside the Philippines. When we got married we fulfilled all of the local conditions. However, we never recorded the marriage with the Philippines government.
In the visa reciprocity table, it says

For marriages that occurred outside of the Philippines, the original marriage certificate from the issuing country should be provided, and translated into English, along with the Philippines recording of the marriage.

https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/us-visas/Visa-Reciprocity-and-Civil-Documents-by-Country/Philippines.html
Also, I saw this
https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/us-visas/Supplements/Supplements_by_Post/MNL-Manila.html

A Certificate of No Marriage (CENOMAR) from the Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA) valid within one (1) year from the date it was obtained. The U.S. Embassy in Manila requires a CENOMAR for applicants whose unmarried status is important to their visa category.

However, my wife will not be going through Manila because she is not a resident there. Like many Filipinos she lives overseas. We also didn't need a CENOMAR when we got married because the country we got married in doesn't require that.

A week ago, someone asked why “divestment from IDF contracts is so difficult.” After the actions, suspensions, and arrests of last week, I have also wondered why protestors and MIT’s administration did not reach an agreement. Here’s an effort to explain it.
I’m looking to read the protest demands carefully and generously, then consider MIT’s constraints generously. My conclusion is that if the core demands had broad support on campus—and I can't say whether they do or do not—there are still principled, consistent reasons MIT could not agree to them.
Please add anything I’ve missed about the SAGE and MIT positions in the comments. Factual corrections or additional details are appreciated.
(If you’re here for hot takes, you’re in the wrong thread. I’m not saying what MIT should do about the demands, and I'm not sharing opinions about student protests or MIT's response. Please feel welcome to share your opinions about these in other posts about these topics.)
The demands
The core demands of the Scientists against the Genocide Encampment (SAGE) are:

1. The immediate termination of two active faculty contracts with the Israel Ministry of Defense (IMoD)
2. A ban on future faculty contracts with IMoD.[1]

The protestors identified these contracts in the MIT Brown Books, which provide detailed information about all sponsored research projects on campus. SAGE states specific concerns about an active research project on “autonomous robotic swarms,” which they say can be used to “target Gazan citizens or American protestors.”[1] I have not found specific stated concerns about the other project, “Field-capable Bacterial Biosensors with Hyperspectral Reporters for Remote Detection of Analytes of Interest.”[3]
The demands propose to terminate current funding, but would not stop the existing projects themselves. SAGE states the two active projects can proceed with alternative funding.[2] SAGE has also said a process to limit human rights risks or restrict foreign military research would only be satisfactory if it ends these two contracts with immediate effect.[2]
Two facts about these demands have been widely misreported. First, the contracts appear to be funded by the U.S. Department of Defense (DoD), not IMoD.[4] As the “direct sponsor,” IMoD chooses which research proposals to fund at U.S. universities. DoD involvement does not appear to be an important consideration to SAGE. I suspect, but don't know for certain, that ending contracts with a primary government funder could create complications for MIT.
Second, SAGE has said that “more than $11M” has been funded through DoD/IMoD since 2015.[1][3] But once multi-year awards are deduplicated in the data they have published, they amount since 2015 is closer to $3.4 million.[4] The cost of SAGE’s core demands—which is the unspent balance of the two remaining grants—is not publicly reported by SAGE or MIT. However, this direct cost does not seem to be a material issue for either side.
Conflicts between the demands and MIT’s research policy
Meeting protestors’ central demands would require MIT to do something it has not done before: electively ban faculty from working with a specific sponsor. Doing this would conflict with the MIT faculty’s longstanding position on “research freedom,” which A) lets faculty freely choose collaborators and topics and B) limits university intervention when their research faces criticism.[5][6]
Consistent with research freedom, MIT has not previously banned sponsors or ended research contracts except when required by U.S. law. For example, when many MIT faculty said that MIT sever ties with the Saudi kingdom after the murder of Jamal Khashoggi, MIT did not terminate any Saudi-affiliated research contracts.[5] MIT has similarly rejected calls to stop faculty research contracts with fossil fuel industry partners.
MIT’s faculty and administration have taken related public positions favoring “research openness,” including for sponsors in host countries criticized for human rights concerns like Russia and China.[5][6] These positions assert that science requires open collaboration even during foreign policy conflicts. MIT recently reaffirmed its position on openness as Congress considered new limits on U.S.-China research collaboration.[7]
SAGE argues that research freedom was disregarded in February 2022, when MIT terminated a $100M/year collaboration agreement with Russia’s Skoltech after the Russian army invaded Ukraine.[1][8] However, as a broad, organization-level partnership between MIT and Skoltech, the agreement did not implicate faculty research freedom as SAGE’s demands do.[8] MIT continues to allow faculty to work with Russian sponsors and collaborators, although U.S. State Department sanctions now restrict research collaborations with many Russian institutions, including Skoltech.[9]
The Saudi and Skoltech decisions show MIT's stubborn commitment to faculty research freedom, even when human rights concerns are broadly held in the MIT community. MIT exercises more discretion over non-research funding, like direct partnerships and gifts. But unless required by U.S. law or foreign policy, MIT seems unlikely to create tailored bans on faculty research sponsors.
Other policy limits on military-sponsored campus research
MIT’s existing rules for campus research limit how military-sponsored research can be conducted, but not the collaborators or subjects faculty can choose. Research projects:

• must be publishable without restriction.
• cannot require students to work on classified topics.
• cannot exclude researchers by country of origin.[10]

These rules practically limit the military projects that can happen on campus. For instance, no research project could be kept secret from anyone else at MIT. (See [11] for reasons that MIT has focused mostly on research conduct restrictions.)
For sponsors in some countries, MIT applies an “elevated-risk review” to the content of faculty research proposals when the projects could present human rights, U.S. national security, or U.S. economic competitiveness risks.[12] These reviews involve both a faculty committee and senior administrators, and they can result in project modifications, contract changes, or a refusal of MIT support.[4][12] Elevated-risk reviews are not applied to approved research contracts because “the bar for administrative intervention to terminate such projects should be set very high.”[4]
There are at least two reasons an elevated-risk review would not satisfy SAGE's demands. First, the content-independent ban on IMoD contracts that SAGE has proposed does not easily fit with a review process focused that evaluates content-specific risks.
Second, since expanding these reviews would limit faculty research freedom, doing so would normally involve faculty. But getting faculty involved means that changes could not happen immediately, which SAGE has said it cannot accept.
Sources and further reading
[1] SAGE website
[2] SAGE final proposal to MIT administration
[3] MIT Graduate Students for Palestine, “No more MIT research for Israel’s Ministry of Defense,” The Tech, 10 May 2024
[4] SAGE data extracts of MIT Brown Book research contracts
[5] Richard Lester, "Review and Reassessment of MIT’s Relationship to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia" (2019)
[6] MIT Faculty, "MIT Statement on Freedom of Expression and Academic Freedom" (2022)
[7] Maria Zuber, “Written Testimony to House Committee on Science, Space and Technology” (2021)
[8] Phillip Martin, “MIT abandons Russian high-tech campus partnership in light of Ukraine invasion” WGBH News (2022)
[9] “Information Regarding Informal Research Collaborations with Peers at Russian Institutions” MIT VPR website (2022)
[10] MIT Policy & Procedures 14.2 (“Open Research and Free Interchange of Information”)
[11] Harvey Brooks on research freedom, protests, and military contracts at MIT (1973)
[12] MIT VPR, “Elevated risk project review process” (2019)

I've converted my local license in to NZ license by passing the test, but cannot find a date or a time for the practical test now on NZTA site.
And it looks like unavailable for a long time. Any one else having this issue? and the license that I have states that I cannot drive with out a supervisor or family members.
technically, I cannot drive my car for another 3 -4 months!

I have struggled with suicidal thought since the age of 12 so in total about 3 years and never really mentioned it to anyone bland my way of getting through it was making jokes with my friends like “if I don’t do good in this test then I’m going to kill myself” we always laughed it off and they would say the same but I was being serious about wanting to kill myself I just thought that nothing in life mattered and that nothing I could ever do in life would be good enough no one loves me and that I will never have the one thing I want in life, being able to come home from work with a happy wife and kids to greet me coming in through the door. When u was younger my dad said the best part of his day was when he would come home from work and see me and my older sister running to him and giving him a hug and that’s all I really want but I felt like that would never happen and nobody would ever love me since I am the way I am but I ended up refunding Jesus and doing good for a few years and recently I don’t know what happens I still love Jesus but I’m starting to fall back into that same feeling of nobody loving me and never being able to find love. I mean hell I’m 16 and have never even held hands romantically with a girl and in 2 years I’ll be a legal adult going to college if I decide to trying to live my life and start a family. But u feel like I don’t want to date anyone because all the kids in my grade and older then me it feels like they aren’t dating to try and find a life long partner but to just use them for sex and then be done with them but I want a real relationship with a women not just sex. I guess I’m just depressed because I was always told since I’m a guy nobody cares about my feeling, man up, guys don’t cry, and if I cried was told you better stop before I give u something to cry about. So I’ve kinda been feeling that recently and just don’t see the propose of living anymore if I’m just gonna be depressed for the rest of my life and have no one to love me but my family and because of that don’t see the point in even trying to find someone to love and date so I’ve been getting depressed again and don’t have anyone to talk to besides some girl on Reddit that I met similar in age and we talk sometimes but there than her all the the other people I had to talk to have either died or live in a different state 30+ hours away. I don’t really know where I’m going with this but I just need help and someone to talk to.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/MediumGrouchy5547
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
I found my sister who disappeared from everyone more than 15 years ago after she ran away from home
Trigger Warnings: abandonment, depression, self-harm, eating disorder, possible mental health issues
Editor’s Note: TCA stands for trastornos de la conducta alimentaria which translates into “eating disorder”
Rastafarian: a religious movement
Original Post: April 26, 2024
I'm really happy and confused and I really don't know if I can talk about this with friends and family but I need to share my experience with someone because I missed my sister. I don't need or want any advice since no one really knows the situation to be able to give a good advice without assuming things they don't know and it's weird to read people talking about my sister like if they know what she lived, I just want to share this and I know a lot of people have had experiences like this too so maybe someone can relate.
When I was 10 years old my older sister who was 22 at that time disappeared after leaving a note to our parents saying that she's okay and just wants to start over her life.
My sister was always a lonely but outgoing person, she always told me that she enjoyed solitude from time to time and noisy things took away from her quality of life because tbh it was loud LOUD where we lived and it was annoying even for me (we lived in a dangerous neighborhood so it wasn't too safe and she hated not being able to go for a walk at night or do things at night alone), she was depressed and I remember seeing her suffering from severe anxiety attacks, she used to hit herself to stop them and she had a strong TCA that triggered those things. She suffered from other mental issues as well and talked freely about that, she talked about those things in front of me and these are things that leave a mark on you.
She was the favorite of the whole family although mi parents never out pressure on her, they always let us do our life (my brother who was 19 at that time knows that, my sister was the golden child), my grandfather always made it clear that she is his favorite granddaughter, even now. She was the calm but funny kind of person, she was the closest to my parents and uncles so when she disappeared from one day to the next no one understood what was going on.
Even my sister had never traveled alone except to go to work and she always notified my mother that she was okay for safety reasons. She left a long note clarifying that she doesn't want to be searched but she loves us. It was a big blow for the family, I remember my mother wanting to report to the police but they said that my sister was not a minor and the note said that she left by her own so they can't do anything.
In a way, my other brother knew that this would happen at some point, since our sister mentioned a lot that she wanted to leave everything and go live in the countryside or become a nun and live in a calm place without any worries but nobody took her seriously about that. She was always the kind of person who did things without telling anyone, she liked her solitude sometimes even if she was always friendly.
The first months and weeks were strange, it wasn't that she had passed away but that she disappeared because she wanted to, I remember my mother missing her because they always shared the afternoons together.
I also missed her a lot, Even years later my family missed her and at Christmas or her birthday someone would always say "maybe she'll show up now" or we would wonder how she's doing or if she was alive.
Back to the present. I'm on vacation in the south of my country (This part of my country is very expensive for a tourist and I am the only one in my family who was able to come now that I am an adult), it's a place full of villages and while I was exploring I came to a place where they sold typical handicrafts of the place.
While shopping I can swear that the first thing I saw was my sister looking at some crafts on a shelf, she looked more adult but obviously I recognized her instantly, we are really similar after all.
I didn't really knew how to react after so many years and I didn't know how she would react, but I went over and said her name. What I didn't expected was that she would smile instantly when she saw me and called me by my nickname. I thought she had escaped because she didn't wanted anything to do with the family even if in the note she said she loves us, but she was greeting me as if nothing had happened.
She told me that she didn't expected to see me there and asked me if I was on vacation, she said that the village used to be not so touristy but now more people started to go and many villagers opened stores for the tourists. I was upset, I was angry with her for leaving us and pretending that nothing happened but I couldn't react so I just asked her if she lives in that town and she said yes, It's a place filled with old people.
We talked for a few seconds, she asked me what I'm studying and if everyone at home is okay, she told me I'm taller and thinner. Then she gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me that if I have a few days off I can go visit her but she doesn't have a cell phone so she told me that she's almost everyday there. My sister also told me to send hugs to our parents.
I'm confused and full of questions about her, she doesn't even wants to hide, she didn't looked or talked to me like someone who wanted to run away from something and hide. She was just happy to see me and happy to know that we were all good.
But I also feel resentment for her when I think about all that our parents and grandparents suffered when she disappeared, making my mother feel that she was a bad mother because she couldn't protect her.
But I'm ambivalent as I'm also happy to know that she's okay and that she doesn't hate me or the family but I'm also confused, Her behavior wasn't that of someone who is hiding or who doesn't want to know anything about her past, she was just happy to hear about us.
Edit: I'm sorry but there are people who clearly don't read the post, there are literally people saying that I didn't even knew my sister and commenting as if they knew her and taking things for granted about her life, there are even people saying that they don't understand why I'm 'angry' (it's just a feeling, a normal feeling, it's not that I hate her and I will treat her badly, god. Nor will I talk to my family without talking to her first, at what point in the post did I say that I'm going to expose her? I'm never going to treat her badly either because I have no reason to do so, It's crazy how half the comments draw silly conclusions) with my sister when i literally say it up there, even if my English is bad because it's not my first language, just read the post before you want to get a few likes for some unnecessary advice.
Additional Information from OOP on his sister’s note

OOP: My sister in the note said that she loves our parents, my brother was 19 when our sister left and he himself knows how much our parents loved and supported her when she was having a hard time with herself but the outside always affected her badly.
I was ten years old but I wasn't a baby and I remember what the family dynamic was like, I remember the feeling of my family, my parents are not narcissists and my sister loved them and they love who's my sister, she just had her own problems.
How could a parent miss the idea of their children? There's not a day when my parents don't miss everything about my sister, they miss sharing the day with her, my father even missed when she was cranky. My parents always let us go our own way and I can assure you that they never pressured us to be what they wanted us to be, I don't even know what they want us to be.

Relevant Comments
Mil1512: Is your sister neurodivergent?
With the hitting herself when struggling with anxiety and enjoying solitude.
I'm neurodivergent and my family live in another country. I honestly forget to talk to them most of the time and only really do because my mum messages me first. If she didn't we just wouldn't talk. Not due to any hate or anything, I'm just happy doing my own thing.

OOP: She's not. My sister had a lot of self-destructive behaviors and hurting herself was one of them when she felt 'fat', she also had eating disorders and panic attacks because of that. I don't remember too much but she did other things to not eat besides hitting herself, she was very open about her TCA and yes, she has a diagnosis from a professional.
My sister was always in touch with my mother and everyone in text, she always used to keep in touch when she was going out until the day she left, now she doesn't even have a phone. In her note she just said that she wanted to leave everything

mikuzgrl: It almost seems like the sister has been in contact with someone for a while and thinks news is being passed back and forth.

OOP: I never thought about that but I don't think so, seeing how my parents miss her I think the first thing the family would do would be to at least tell my father that she is okay :/

 
Can people just stop with the aggressive messages? Weirdos: May 1, 2024
I understand that many reflect their personal traumas in this site, but I literally received passive-aggressive messages calling me idiot or even telling me that I would hate my sister if she were neurodivergent or claiming that my parents abused her.
What's wrong with y'all? Go to a psychologist and stop reflecting your unresolved traumas in the story of a person you don't even know. Go out and touch grass and talk to a real person instead of literally sending private messages like that.
I didn't asked for any advice and just wanted to share my story because that's the point of that subreddit, but many took it the wrong way and decided to turn something positive into a way to fight.
I don't even understand why out of nowhere I started getting those kinds of messages or if someone share that post on a weird place.
 
Editor’s Note: TLP is trastorno límite de la personalidad which translates into Borderline Personality Disorder
Update: May 7, 2024
On sunday I finally found my sister again, she was selling things in the park with other stands, all of them are rastafari, not hippies or a sect. I walked over and she greeted me just as happily, we talked a couple of things and my sister told me that she doesn't have a cell phone so it was impossible for her to tell me that she wouldn't be there on Saturday.
I spent the afternoon with her at her stand and after that we went to her house, she lives alone (and sometimes with her friends). We talked for a while and at one point she broke down and hugged me, saying she was trying to stay calm all this time and didn't knew how to react because she didn't wanted to make me cry too bc she remembered that I was really sensitive but she couldn't hold it anymore. We cried and talked a lot.
My sister was tired of people, she said that our house was her safe place but hated the idea of having to work everyday and I didn't wanted to study anything, she was our parents' golden child, so they let her do whatever she wanted, but she knew that at some point she had to make something of her life. She was tired of how stupid and empty everyone was, of the politicians, of the TV showing empty things, of the noise everywhere outside when she wanted peace, even sleeping in our home was stressful for everyone because of the noises outside during the weekends when she wanted to be alone to smoke and listen music (tbh, In my memories as a child I didn't remember the obvious smell of joints that my sister had all the time)
That added to the pressure that society put on her to be physically perfect make her want to leave everything behind.
She didn't wanted to die but realized that my parents were miserable when they saw her being miserable, this is something I didn't know, but my sister said that our father had two jobs to be able to pay for her psychologist and medication, also my father used to spoil her a lot with the only food she eat without guilty. Running away was like dying symbolically.
My sister says that although our parents always supported her, she felt like a failture for not being able to improve and always relapsing, she felt bad to see our father working so hard and also wanted to live according to her spiritual mentality, free from all that is toxic in society.
All of those things make her ran away from everything, she felt like a burden and also didn't wanted to live a life working and miserable like everyone.
Sis told me that she never contacted us because she doesn't wants to have a cell phone and a trip to our province is too expensive to her because it's basically going from one end of the country to the other.
She hates capitalist society with all her soul and doesn't even have a TV. My sister said that she is much better now away from the city. My sister told me that she wants to talk to our parents but doesn't knows what to say and we don't want to give them parents a shock since our dad was sick a few days ago and is recovering from dengue.
I'm writing this with her beside me and doesn't understand what's the point of this site (The last social network she used was fotolog in 2007) but said that she doesn't mind if I post this. She wanted to write something but said she doesn't like writing in English haha
My sister was reading the comments and wants me to clarify that she never suffered any kind of a abuse, she has a lot of friends and never had any problem with anyone but likes to be alone from time to time to meditate.
And she's not neurodivergent (She said her behavior was normal because of her TLP), suffers from ED, borderline personality disorder and see a psychologist twice a month.
During her adolescence, the blogs Ana and mia were trendy, her friends had that 'aesthetic' and she was popular in fotolog (according to my sister, at that time it was taken as an aesthetic and even a book about that was really popular between teens, maybe someone from my country knows Abzurdah?). She hated going out when she felt fat, she couldn't have imperfections like cuts on her arms so she hurt herself with a rubber band when she overate, something she read in those blogs. Now she's in a good weight but it took her really long to not relapse again. It's been a long recovery for her and once you're anorexic you never stop being anorexic, she's always afraid of relapsing.
So that's it for now, we don't know how we're going to talk with our parents without making them freak out. And also my sister after seeing the comments on the post saw other reddit posts and said that her life is definitely better without a cell phone, she says that things like fotolog was the beginning of all evil haha
Relevant Comments
OOP on his sister being involved with Rastafari

OOP: Idk how it is in other countries to be honest, my sister doesn't live in community and there are no camps, she's one of the few who has a house because most of them prefer to travel around the country.
I really think it's impossible for them to be 100% Rastafarian here tbh because we are from South America and the Rastafarian community here is obviously totally different from the REAL Rastafarians, they just follow most of the philosophy
Edit: for example, my sister doesn't consider herself Rastafarian but she share some points of the philosophy they have, I don't know how the rest of them thinks

 

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