Facebook statuses for my dad in heaven

The internet is a strange place, inadvertently designed to bring out the best and worst in people. People can be whoever or whatever they want to be. For predators and malignant narcissists and who live in their own delusions to begin with, it's like a hunting ground. They can create whatever persona they wish, fill their victims' heads with lies and half-truths that paint them out to be someone they are not, and by the time their victim actually meets them, it's too late - they've already created an image in their mind of this perfect person the narcissist has convinced them they are, and it usually takes time before the curtain comes down, the lies fall apart, and the mask breaks away.
I'm no saint, and I've learned my own tough lessons from the internet. I grew up under not-so-great circumstances, only getting 5 years of education before I turned 18 and was largely raised by a computer screen. Along the way, I catfished a woman in her mid-20's when I was 14-16 years old. It wasn't intentional at first, I told everyone that I was in my mid-20's and I worked as a bouncer at a bar in NYC. I never meant any harm, I was just raised by a computer and spent all my time alone playing MMOs and learned quickly that if I told people how old I was, they'd stop playing with me. So a bouncer seemed like a job I could bullshit about easily enough, and I was a big dude at 6'1 260lbs so I figured I could maybe pass it off as legit if it ever got hectic.
I started playing with this woman in her 20's and her husband frequently. We became friends fast, and soon we were virtually inseparable on the game. Her marriage ended up not working out, and after they separated she told me she had feelings for me. I should've admitted I wasn't who I said I was then, but I was young and dumb and she was the only real friend I had, so I kept up the ruse. Eventually I did come clean, and she broke it off with me not long after. We stayed friends, albeit with my heart hurting pretty bad, for a few months afterwards - until she met Jack.
When she first told me about Jack, he sounded like a great catch. He had his own IT business in Canada, was a couple years older but not by much, and she was infatuated with him. Obviously I was crushed and didn't handle it well, being a practically feral teenager at the time, so not long after they started getting serious she ghosted me altogether. I was around 17 at the time, and shit started going off the rails for me. After I got out of juvie, I started drinking heavily on a near-daily basis and selling and doing drugs. This led to a lot of pathetic, inebriated, desperate attempts to contact her and apologize for how I acted.
After months of being ignored, eventually grief and regret turned to anger, and finally acceptance. When the pain passed and I came to my senses a bit, I had an epiphany and realized that if I loved her as much as I thought I did, the best thing for both of us would be to let her go. I was a high school dropout with no job, selling drugs to get by. She had 2 kids, and what kind of life could I provide for them? She made the right choice, my age and the fact I made a grown woman fall in love with a teenager not withstanding, and as bad as it hurt I realized it was selfish of me not to accept the way things were and leave her alone, so I did.
10 years or so later, I had gotten my shit together. Worked my way up from cleaning dead shit out of swimming pools, to an entry level position at an environmental consulting firm, to a Project Manager at one of the largest firms in the field in the DC area. I'd met someone, got her pregnant, and for some reason I felt a pull to contact her again. Not to rekindle an old flame, but because she had been a tremendously positive influence on my life in a time where I had few. She was the first good thing I had in my life at a time when I was sleeping on old blankets on a hard floor in an abusive home, and what I'd held onto from our time together wasn't our romantic relationship, it was the best friend I'd ever had. And something made me want to tell her that all that work she put into getting my head right wasn't in vain, and I'd finally made it out of the gutter.
So I messaged her on Facebook, and to my surprise she actually responded. We started talking again, and soon it was back to every day. When my baby mama got back on drugs and turned abusive and was putting my daughter's life in jeopardy on a near-daily basis, she was the one who convinced me I could fight for custody - that I had to fight for custody. So I did, and I won, and I've had full custody of of my daughter since she was 6 months old and for the 10 years since.
But eventually we parted ways again. I'd started seeing someone, and part of me knew I couldn't commit to another woman while I was still carrying on with her. Our relationship had started turning romantic again, and she had dropped some hints about old Jack that would come to the forefront later, but she wasn't ready to leave him and I didn't want to be that guy, so I sent her a message explaining why we had to stop talking, apologized, and ghosted her.
7 more years went by after that night. The relationship I abandoned her for soured quickly when I found out that chick was a carbon copy of my baby mama, and I quit dating to focus on my career and raising my daughter. But on the long, 2+ hour commutes each way from work, I often found myself stuck pondering the "what ifs". What if I hadn't ghosted her? What if our age gap wasn't there, and we'd never had to split up to begin with? I knew in my soul I was never going to find someone like her again, but I made peace with it. I imagined her happy life, her kids with Jack, and convinced myself I made the right choice.
Then COVID hit, and near the start of it, I stumbled on a post on reddit about this dude who sent his high school sweetheart a message many years later apologizing for how he treated her and telling her how her presence impacted him, and I thought to myself, "Hey, I did that!". So I started writing a reply, and for the first time told the story of this girl and I. I'd never told a soul about what happened with us, not even my family or closest friends. Maybe it was the stigma of having an online relationship back in those days that carried over, or maybe it was just too personal to share with my friends or family. It got long, so eventually I just decided to start a new thread. When I was done, it was so long I figured no one would ever read it, but I hit submit anyway and put my phone down and got back to work.
Well, I was wrong. People did read it - a lot of people. Soon my phone started blowing up. Thousands of comments, hundreds of DMs, people offering me book deals and asking if they could have the rights for a screenplay or have me on their podcasts. It was fucking surreal, and being generally a private person who tries to fly under the rader, it got overwhelming fast. Eventually I reached out to her again on Facebook, warned her about what happened, and apologized for putting her business out there.
She didn't respond for a couple weeks, and when she did we started talking again almost immediately. And then in mid-April 2020, she told me that she needed to talk to me. She spilled everything, and told me exactly who Jack was. How he would hack into her devices to spy on her, threaten to kill her and her partner if she ever left him, say vile things to her and her daughters, calling the young girls cunts and bitches. How he alienated all her friends and family, and kept them all isolated in the house her parents bought them that he would rarely leave.
And I felt deceived too. All those years I'd convinced myself that she was happy, that she got together with Jack and was living the life she deserved. In reality, Jack intentionally got her pregnant not long after he flew out to her state the first time. He quickly moved into her house, and refused to work or provide not only for her kids or their kids, but for the other 3 children he abandoned in Australia and Canada who he had no relationship with, with 3 different women he victimized in the same manner. When she was 8 months pregnant with their first kid, she was working nights doing hospice care while he sat on his ass playing videogames all night and talking to his ex. In 17 years, this fucking loser with 7 kids by 4 women worked a grand total of 5 weeks, quit his job, claimed he got PTSD from the experience, and somehow manipulated his way into getting SSDI for it. They survived off SSDI and her parents' charity for years.
But Jack was reading all of this, because like I mentioned earlier, he was hacking her devices and watching us talk remotely. Jack knew the jig was up, and slowly started to unravel. She told him she wanted a divorce, and that she was not going to sever her friendship with me again. And he pretended to take that well, going as far as to try to befriend and manipulate me. He tried every trick to keep her he'd done for years - telling her he was going to get help and would change first, then when that failed he made suicide threats and somehow got his therapist to call her and tell her as long as she didn't leave him he wouldn't kill himself, and then he tried to intimidate her. Eventually he went off the rails completely and sexually assaulted her when he thought she was sleeping.
She called me from her parents' house crying the night it happened, and I convinced her to file a police report. She did, and a couple weeks later Jack got removed from the home, served with a protective order, and charged for sexual abuse. This of course did nothing to stop Jack - he broke into their house a couple days later when she and the kids were out to upload a folder of revenge porn to his Google Drive under the guise of wanting to drop off a cake for her birthday.
Then the stalking started. Jack would relentlessly message her all day and night on Facebook, switching between rage, trying to garner sympathy, convince her he would change, and threatening self-harm. We later found out via a cyber forensics report that he was hacking into the laptop she had taken with her while she hid at her parents' and had been so bold as to steal her Victim Impact Statement and send it to all his World of Warcraft buddies as a joke.
And he didn't just stalk her, he came for me too. Constant unauthorized attempts to access my accounts for everything from Windows to my bank, spam calls and emails - shit, the wormy little fuck even got his friends to stalk my social media and pretend to be strangers to gaslight me. I ignored all of it, and he got desperate enough to send me a lovely message attempting to extort and blackmail she and I, claiming he had "all my posts" but wouldn't do anything with them if I called him. The tipping point for me is when he subscribed to my small YouTube channel - which had nothing on it but 3 videos of my daughter. That veiled threat wasn't lost on me.
But Jack fucked up. I don't know if he thought his insane nonsense would scare me off, or if in his delusions he really thought he was the bad mother fucker he convinced himself he was, but Jack didn't know jack about me. I'm a crazy fuck too, and while he was sitting on his fat ass playing World of Warcraft all day every day for the past couple decades, I was selling drugs and hanging with some of the grimiest mother fuckers Baltimore had to offer. I've seen and experienced a lot of real violence outside a computer monitor, and the prospect of a violent resolution to this saga didn't phase me a whole lot. I'd spent years trying to be a better person and avoid conflict, but I sure as shit wasn't afraid of it either. Leading up to this point, I was already trying to calm myself down and talk myself off the ledge and not pack my guns and drive out there to keep watch until the police did their thing and put him away, which took a lot longer than it should have - this fucking guy violated his protective order 80 times in just a couple weeks.
So I called him, and he spent the next 26 minutes crying over the phone like a drunk little bitch, while I tried my best to be kind and to talk him off the ledge. And yes, I did record it, and yes it is hysterical listening to it now in hindsight, and yes I still have the recording. Anyway, I told him he was scaring the shit out of her and the kids, and he promised to leave us alone and I told him if he could chill the fuck out I would try to talk her into giving him more access to the kids. The next day, she got an email from her first ex-husband - Jack had reached out to him with a link to my reddit post trying to get help from him to come after me, which he promptly shut down and sent to her.
The next few weeks were terrifying as Jack descended further into madness and became more scared and desperate. He knew she was gone and not coming back, and he was facing real charges and real jail time, and while Jack is a fucking moron in a lot of ways, I'm sure he knew a fat, greasy computer nerd with a sex offense conviction wasn't going to have a good time in County. Jack was a murder-suicide waiting to happen, the police were doing nothing to stop his stalking, and I felt powerless to help her. Eventually after he sent her $50 over PayPal at 4:00am with what appeared to be a suicide note, I had enough. I called the DA's office, asked them why the fuck this was being allowed to happen, and promised them I'd been taking meticulous notes and if anything happened to her I would be taking it straight to the media. The DA told me if I was going to make threats the conversation was over, but sure enough he was finally arrested not long after.
Ironically we had remained platonic friends through most of this, but the shared experience of dealing with this psycho brought us closer together and things quickly changed. We knew he wasn't going to stop when he got out of jail, I felt responsible for her safety after my stupid reddit post started this chain of events that led to Jack's unraveling, and with the world seemingly coming apart during COVID, decided if we were ever going to meet it felt like it was now or never. So I booked a plane ticket across the country, spent a week with her and her family, and a few days after I came home she flew out to visit me and meet my family.
We went into it with no expectations. I fully accepted we might not click and our relationship would go back to being platonic. For my part, I just wanted the closure of finally meeting this person who had such a profound impact on my life before COVID mutated or something and killed us all.
But we did click, and the next two weeks were life-changing. I met and cooked for her entire extended family the day after I arrived, and it went well. While I was there I got her mom's email address, and after I went home I had an idea. I knew her parents had met in DC, so I emailed her mom and asked her for a list of places that were special to her, and she told me about the church her parents had met in. I asked her to keep our conversation secret so it would be a surprise, and she did.
So when she comes out to the east coast, I take her on a tour through DC and park the car a few blocks down the street from the church. As we're walking by, she notices the church and comments on how beautiful it is.
I keep it cool and respond, "Yeah, that's a pretty important place.".
She looks at me and says, "Oh? Why's that?".
"That's where your parents met.".
She audibly gasps, giddily bounces a bit, starts to cry, and we pulled down our masks (fuckin covid) and kiss. Her reaction is easily one of the greatest memories in my life. What I didn't know at the time, was that her parents had told her about that church since she and her siblings were kids. When the church changed denominations, the church took the angel statue off the top and brought it back to her home state, and her parents had taken them to see it a few times throughout her childhood.
Anyway, getting sidetracked here, the sappy love story stuff is a different story altogether.
A month after we met for the first time, I had quit my job, sold everything I couldn't fit in my sedan, and she flew back out and drove across the country with my daughter and I.
Sounds crazy as hell, and it was, but it worked out better than it should have. I got a good job making more than I did back home right away, her kids loved me, and my daughter loved her and adjusted to her new home fast. And by the time Jack got out of jail for felony cyberstalking, sexual abuse, and Intimidation of a Witness in a Domestic Violence case, we had cameras all over the house, and I had taught my fiancee how to shoot - which she quickly became better than me at.
But Jack's time in jail didn't slow him down, and the 2-10 year suspended sentence didn't deter him at all. As a matter of fact, on his first day out one of the first things he did was start trying to hack her accounts again. He managed to con an elderly couple he knew threw World of Warcraft from a different state into letting him live with them, and from there he spent a lot of time and energy stalking us and hacking our devices to the best of his ability. He also convinced these poor, very stupid elderly people from his videogame to bankroll a lengthy, expensive divorce. Somehow a man who hadn't worked in almost 20 years managed to run us into over $50,000 in legal fees in two years. How a marriage with zero assets turned into a two year battle when both parties were officially in poverty before the divorce, or how the family courts never saw through the bullshit is beyond me.
To Jack's credit, he did a pretty good job remaining a thorn in our side. Largely due to the complete and utter ineptitude and indifference of the police and District Attorney who could and should have put a stop to his bullshit at any point in that time. Old Jack got hit with a permanent criminal stalking injunction and a 10-year protective order along with his probation, and no amount of effort on our part would get the police, DA, or probation to put a stop to it, despite mountains of evidence.
He successfully managed to draw the divorce out right up to the wedding we planned a year and a half prior, with his attorney putting in motion after motion to delay the process. With all our family and friends coming from all over the country and as far away as Japan, we accepted our wedding would just be a celebration and not an official wedding. Until the night before the wedding, she got a call from her attorney - he had made a call to the clerk's office at the court and got her to move the paperwork to finalize the divorce to the top of the pile, and she was officially divorced. Our wedding would be a real wedding after all, and despite Jack's best efforts, he lost again. We had the wedding on a remote ranch that we rented for a week, and foolishly decided to cater and decorate ourselves, which would have been a colossal undertaking without the extra 4 hours to drive into town and get our marriage certificate at the courthouse. But we pulled it off and it was everything we could have hoped for and then some, and we were officially married.
Jack of course didn't stop after the divorce was finalized. The list of shit he tried to do to us before and after that is too long to spell out in an already too long post, but here are some choice bits:
He wrote a demented letter to the oldest of his kids with her who severed her relationship with him, calling my wife and her mother "vipers and cowards" and promising we would "answer for what we've done sooner or later".
He continuously hacked our computers, miscellaneous accounts tied to our emails, and any other devices he could get into - dropping in remotely via Amazon Alexa, phones, etc.
He set up bots to send us thousands of spam emails, sign us up for dozens of international newsletters all at once, and requests for consultations for things like solar panel installations.
He told the kids vile lies about my wife and I, although the most egregious was when he used a court-ordered therapy appointment with his second oldest daughter to accuse me of distributing child porn, told the therapist I am an "evil man", and told him I wasn't safe to be around his daughters. This led to her being forensically interviewed by the police, where she spelled out what happened, but of course they did nothing.
He gave the two youngest children cell phones to sneak into our house, with Google accounts activated and location tracking turned on.
He sent packages to our house 5 times in the space of a few months, one of which was addressed to himself and contained nothing but a bag of Stevia and a pack of gum. These packages generally came to our door the day before his scheduled visitation with the kids.
During this time my bank account was hacked four times in the span of just a few months with nearly identical fraudulent charges. In each of these instances, I had completely changed my bank account information.
He filed false reports with CPS twice, alleging we were beating the children, locking them in the closet, and not feeding or bathing them. This led to a CPS agent coming to our house to investigate.
We brought all this to the police over and over as it happened, and they did nothing. The DA running the case wasted 5 months subpoenaing a fake email address that we told them when we reported it was fake and spoofed. After finding out about that, we went to the DA's office to find out what the fuck was going on. A Victim's Advocate met with us, and was horrified about how the case was handled, looked up the prosecutor assigned to the case, rolled her eyes and said "Oh...it's Stephanie", confirming what we already knew - this prosecutor was completely incompetent, an elect3d politician moonlighting as a prosecutor. She called us the next day to tell us the actual DA called a meeting and a warrant was put out for Jack's arrest. For some inexplicable reason, they pulled the warrant back, and the advocate told us it was because the DA was pursuing more serious charges.
Then, they stonewalled us. The Victim's Advocate we had met with that actually tried to help us was moved off our case, and the new one assigned refused to talk to us or return our calls. The few exchanges we had with her, she made it abundantly clear she had the DA Office's interests in mind and not ours. We decided to just stay quiet and let the process play out and hope for the best, up until we received an email on Friday night before Election Day from the Detective telling us Stephanie had closed the case. I assume she didn't want her incompetence coming to light, and didn't want to shut the case down before Election Day knowing we would be on the warpath.
Eventually, Jack caught wind that he was officially under criminal investigation, but clearly had no idea they were never going to press charges. He got quiet for a bit, until he was ultimately let off probation early. We still get the occasional reminder he's out there watching, but his fear of going back to jail and the belief it might happen cowed him a bit. So instead he harasses us through the family courts, filing constant bullshit motions with no evidence to support them, and for some reason the courts let it continue. Somehow a man who makes ~$800 from SSDI and is only paying $30 a month total to support his 3 kids with my wife is able to fund tens of thousands of dollars worth of legal proceedings every year, and no one in the family courts has ever stopped to ask how he is paying for it or why all this money isn't being spent on supporting these children.
But despite Jack's best efforts, his bullshit hasn't worked. My wife and I have been together for four years soon, and married for two. His kids call me dad and hate his guts, only seeing him because the courts force them to. I continue to advance in my career, landing two major promotions in the past 2 years and now running a division in one of the largest companies in my field in this part of the country. I just enrolled in college to go back to school and get a degree in family law with a focus on domestic violence. The most frustrating part of the whole experience with ol' Jack was having no one to turn to when all the institutions who were supposed to keep this from happening ignored us, and even though I'll be well into my mid 40's before I accomplish my new goals, I plan to advocate for domestic violence victims and do everything I can to lobby for change to these laws to keep as many people as I can from going through what my wife and I did. I learned that the only way to beat these people at their game is to play on the same field right along with them, and that's what I intend to do.
My wife went back to work too once she healed from some of the trauma, making $30 an hour as a personal assistant for a fella who's had two movies made about his life. Our kids struggled a bit with school and dealing with all their biological parents' issues, but they quickly turned it around and have been excelling. We're all happy, healthy, and doing better now than ever.
As for Jack? Well, he's pushing 50 and still spending his days alone, playing World of Warcraft and jerking off in this old couple's basement. Nothing has changed there, and now he's too fat, old, and visibly an enormous fucking loser to victimize women in the same way he did in his youth. I have no doubts he'll find another victim eventually, probably when these old weirdos bankrolling his life now finally wise up, but one thing Jack forgets is that karma is a mother fucker, and I have a giant database of evidence that I can and will send out to whoever I please to help pull that mask down and keep him from doing this to someone else. Nothing is more appealing to a potential love interest than hearing their man cry like a drunk bitch for 26 minutes to the man he claims stole his wife, while simultaneously admitting to sexually assaulting said wife.
As wonderful as it would have been for Jack to go to prison where he can't hurt anyone again, there is some catharsis knowing Jack will forever be in a prison of his own making. His children want nothing to do with him, and he'll never see them graduate or walk them down the aisle. Jack will die miserable and alone, and in his narcissistic delusion will still be blaming everyone else for the colossal failure of his life, while continuing to fail to grasp the one thread that ties all his misery together - himself.
And since he somehow manages to find and stalk most of my social media, I'd wager Jack will end up reading this too. I hope he does in all honesty. And Jack, if you are reading this, I want you to know that you can kick, flail, manipulate and lie, cry and complain until you're red in the face. None of it matters. You don't matter. You'll leave this world alone, as sad and bitter as you are now, and the world will be a better place for it.

Hey guys!! Been a fan for a long time, I love watching the show! Never really catch your lives because its night here, but I watch it the next day, however long those are, also love the comments and the engagement this community has!
So, I am in a mooooood today, and I feel like sharing my week, mostly because I recieved some texts I feel like should be read and made fun of (sorry if that sounds mean)
I am an anthropologist (29f) doing my doctorate and I have been doing fieldwork, which means i meet a lot of people, and I ask them to introduce me to other people. Due to the context i am working on, this means i meet a lot of older males (i work with fishing communities). they are usually very nice, very sweet and respectful, treat me as a daughter or grandaughter even, some add me on facebook. I have gotten close over the years with some, especially a 87 year old friend whom i call frequently just to check up on him, just as an example
two weeks ago i met this fisherman (48M) who i created a good friendship with, we became close, and he asked for my number so we can arrange lunch with his dad. great! Also it became clear from the beginning that this person is very in need to chat. Which is great since i am a quiet person, but we are talking full monologues. Almost never did this person ask something about me, or if he did he would interrupt. Which is fine, i dont give many details unless i am asked. this might sound weird but it is important to establish trust. Last week i spent my whole week in the field. The conversation also evolved to him complaining about his marriage, since the wife is drunk. I said something about being a clear pattern since his mother was also an alcoholic and he now thinks im some sort of psyquiatrist, even called me late at night one day to complain she was drunk. I should not have picked up the phone, I know
So a few months ago i was invited from a foreign university to attend a writting retreat with other academics, financed by this university, which is a great opportunity. I even sold my taylor swift eras tour concert because i decided to attend this retreat and had my plane tickets already
BUT MY VISA WAS DENIED. and i am now pissed at life and trying to figure it out. also this weekend had a funeral for another fisher friend who was 73 , so i havent been in the right headspace maybe thats why i am making this crazier than it is, you'll be the judge
This fisher (48M) was with me when i got the visa email last week, so that situation in my life he knows about
But i am teaching a class tomorrow, and dealing with this visa thing so I haven't been to the field this week (today is wednesday). And i got these texts from the fisher (i am going to translate them AND KEEPING THE DOTS)
Keep in mind he texted me something about drinking tea and i ignored him because it was sunday and he got mad btw. these were send yesterday
"May i know whats up with you? hello..." (didnt respond) "I just missed you... You havent said anything....thats all.... oh well....I guess i got used to you..... you're right.... forget it... it's fine... kiss"
my response: "you're right? forget it?" what? I am working
"You're right...... im sorry.... I thought about you 500 times today, and I know how you must be busy and worried... but i thought you might want to talk to be.... get it off your chest... I was wrong... its fine... I won't bother you....take care..."
I MEAN WHAT sounds like a 15 year old insecure boyfriend, this man has a wife and two kids and hasnt met me longer than two weeks
and the dots, wtf
I will start focusing on other people on my friendwork, this is crazy
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest and wish me luck with... well, life

I mean the famous "Bieber Bashing" of the early 2010s. "Hating Justin Bieber" was barely a joke -rather it was a whole lifestyle. You were cool/"normal" for hating him. People mocked his voice relentlessly. Called his music shit, his person shit. Everything shit. It was so casual, you could "hate" Justin Bieber without ever really knowing him. Because hey -a lot of artists are hated/cringe, so...who cares?
Except...He was 15yo. He was just a kid. He never asked to be famous. He made innocent love songs that 13yo girls liked. He was bullied by adults all life long. Not just millions of faceless facebook statuses, but I watched old interviews in which adults -ADULTS - ask him sexually inappropriate questions, or just tug around him. A thing which got worse, when he started to act out: Drinking, drugs, getting into fights, that monkey situation...And somehow, people just doubled down. "Oh look, we always knew he was an asshole. He deserves it."
I know it might be a little petty of me. There are millions of unfairly hated (child) stars. But somehow, Bieber struck a cord with me. As a kid, many kids and, again, even adults bullied me, due to an unspoken notion that it was "okay". I "deserved" it. And when I fought back, everyone just felt validated in their treatment, cause "see, she's a violent POS". My only "luck" was that my case was isolated to my school/home.
Still. Somehow it terrifies me that millions could easily write about wanting a kid dead/down for simply "being annoying". Like. What's wrong with humanity?

Its the age of internet or I should say, IT, the world has changed at a rapid rate in past 15 years, especially post 2010 and then after Jio's free internet gamble, the internet connectivity and dependence has increased. I being, 27, I spent atleast first 10-12 years of my life, without phone, without internet and it seems like a totally different era now.
Now, hardly anyone comes in sreet and play, most kids can use phone at 3-4 years, they can open Youtube, they can play games (though its fault of parents), most kids are socially awkward and are exposed to so muvh irrelevant information from a young age, including porn, nudity , social media - likes and follow concept and social image.
Parents too, are addicted to phone, mothers or fathers, everyone has a social media account, they post pictures, they put status, they change dps ever other day, and kids learn from that. The stability and patience has vained. The longevity in relationships is fast vanishing. Adultery is becoming common, if not physical atleast virtual.
One thing I have observed is that, attitude of parents towards children has changed alot. Like especially in people married after 2017-2018, they are very casual about children and children are being seen as burden. And they are not being raised well. Most often, in India, if mothers are not workinh they primarily look after children but now a days they busy making reels and seeking validation on internet and men are not far behind, they also have their own internet presence (I mean Indian men are infamous for sliding into dms) and children are being seen as irrelevant suddenly or mostly a content (like a puppy) to be put on reels or facebook.
Other thing is, children are learning this behaviour of seeking social validation, this addiction to likes and followers from their parents and they are also being impacted by clothing trends online. Children are being exposed to so much without filter and this is also leading to premature sexualization of them.
For example, an example, my great aunt got a Indian salwar kamiz for one of my nieces as a gift on Diwali and her first reaction (she is 7) was "cheeee, i want skirt, ye nahi dalungi, ye aunties dalti hai"
Like for a kid to have such an opinion and she associating clothes to age, is making them more judgemental and more desperate in the society. Many times kids are walking and dancing and acting like adults. Its like they are so eager to get old. Kids are watching problometic content at 9-11 now a days.
Third is, parents and children are not talking and Indian parents already talk less but in Indian society setup where children are overly dependent on parents its leading to communication gap and fracturing relationships in long run. And though society is same and setup is same but viewpoint has changed leading to more frustration.
Fourth is, Indians are feeding on western content alot which also some how makes them feel like a misfit in Indian subtext and the way they think is American but their reality is Indian, like on reddit, most edgy teens hate on parents and want full freedom, but like their American counterparts they dont do part time jobs and neither will support themselves after 18, so they are learning these things blindly without understanding their own state.
Fifth is, identity politics, children especially teens are getting brainwashed ideologically, they are becoming more intolerant, they all have identity now - caste, religion, gender, nationality, ideology, when I was 13-14, I never cared for these things. .Only got to know about reservation in Class 11 lol. So, these things are making people intolerant.
Sixth is mental health crisis, double lives - one on internet and one in real and no real friends.

What a nightmare.
So, my story and process is very similar to this thread, but I figure it's worth sharing just to give a bit of hope and info on the process.
April 30th, I wake up to find I'm logged out of my Facebook account, and attempts to log back in reveal it's been disabled for inappropriate Instagram content. To appeal, I need to log in to the Instagram account, which is a Vietnamese username I don't recognise. Familiar story to many, I'm sure. This disabled page gives you the option to download some of your Facebook account, and I believe this was key- the access logs show exactly when and where it was hacked.
My own Instagram is not suspended, but has been unlinked from two accounts at the same time- I assume the hacker's IG and my Facebook.
Fruitlessly search Facebook's FAQs, end up here. Email the support addresses that are listed, no reply at all.
Get Meta Verified through IG to communicate with a human, at £9.99/month. Thinking about it, I should cancel that now.
Go through Meta Verified to communicate the Facebook issue. Raised approximately 20 tickets, but actually found that replying to the same one was more effective in getting replies. Each and every time, they send me links to the Facebook pages that do not work. The loop. I cannot upload ID to verify my identity as it wants me to log in, I cannot log in because it's disabled. I also, as stated, cannot appeal through IG by logging in to the hacker's IG. Each and every time, they try to close the ticket. Replying reopens it.
Eventually, I was escalated to a manager. I work in customer service, I know they'll all have scripts to follow and limits to what they can do. At no point am I getting angry or abusive, but I am making it clear that I have repeated the process, and I screenshot everything, showing my attempts to follow their instructions. I ask them for another way to be put through to the appeals team, because their form will not let me. No dice. Dead end after dead end.
So I come here again, and see the EU reporting form:
https://facebook.com/help/contact/837980354337486
You can't access it from the UK, just clicking it gives a page error. You need to use a VPN and put your location in Europe. Thanks, Brexit. I installed the Opera browser, which has a free VPN built in.
THIS WORKED.
I received a ticket from a support agent asking me for:

• Username
• Date the account was hacked (attached the access log)
• Current email/phone associated with it
• A new email address, never associated with Facebook

This email was replied to on Thursday 9th. By Sunday 12th, I had received an email at the new email address. This was from the "Facebook Community Operations Team", not Meta Support. They wanted a complete, detailed overview of what had happened, with ID, including the issues I'd encountered trying to report through the Facebook links. This felt like less of a template email reply and that progress was being made.
So I gave it to them. I also gave them some very specific details of the Facebook account- specific photo album names and status updates, information about Events I had previously organised through Facebook, what the banner picture was- anything extra that I thought could sway them to believe I was who I said I was. I underlined how the "permanently disabled after 30 days" part would mean losing all contact with specific people on the account, and I told them I'd travel to Facebook HQ to verify my identity face to face if need be. I didn't know what the hacker may have done with any of those things, but I included anything I thought could be reviewed and proven as true. I again attached the access logs and disabled screenshots.
Within 12 hours I had a reply stating they had secured my account with the new email address and a password reset link. It worked. The EU link through a VPN worked for me.

I appreciate the story probably ends there for most people, but since regaining access, I looked into what had been done by the hacker. They had added someone Vietnamese (themselves?) as a Facebook friend, who I have obviously now reported and blocked. They had not touched my wall, friends, photos or statues.
More importantly, and probably their whole aim, they set up a Facebook Ad Account under my name, and started spamming paid ads for something Vietnamese. They used someone's credit card details to do this, for about US$300- the details were not mine, so I guess someone else got a shock and cancelled the payments when they noticed.
However, my linked PayPal account was listed as a backup payment account, and my home address listed as the business account address. As I did not authorise the payments with PayPal, no funds left the account, and because the payments failed, the ads were suspended- I discovered this from notifications that they had on Facebook.
I am obviously taking steps now to close that Ad Account with Facebook.
And, as far as I can tell, that's it. My Facebook account was a perfectly normal, standard personal account. I'm going to spend today backing up photos on it, because it has made me very aware of just how much I'd have list if I hadn't found a way to resolve this.

My dad and mom are investors in a company with a Bahraini partner. They wanna close down the CR and return to our home country. Submitted the files for closing the business, but got a status update saying "Distinguished Gentlemen, Sorry, the transaction cannot proceed as the shares of one of the partners are under precautionary seizure. Thank you for your understanding" and in Arabic "السادة الافاضل ، المعذرة ، لايمكن المضي في المعاملة حيث ان حصص أحد الشركاء تحت الحجز التحفظي. وشكرا لتفهمكم". I don't even know if it translates correctly. When we found out, the Bahraini apparently has a case in another business (same main CR number and different sub number).
What can we do to close the business legally that only belongs to us and not be dragged into any of the other person's issues? What is the best way to handle this situation? Parents are mentally and physically exhausted by everything happening. If anyone can share advice on this,Thanks!

Introduction

In this post, we'll be discussing something called "Virtue Ethics." This is a normative theory of ethics that's most associated with Aristotle, though has in recent times experienced a resurgence of sorts from modern philosophers, some of whom have tweaked and modified it, and in doing so have created different branches on this tree of moral theory. We will be comparing these different flavors of Virtue Ethics to that of the New Testament's, pointing out where they're similar, as well as highlighting where the NT differs (and is actually superior) from the heathens' views.
I want to preface all this with a verse and a warning:

"Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ."-Colossians 2:8

The entire Bible, over and over again, warns against syncretism. It's a running theme throughout to condemn the practice, with this verse being one of the more explicit ones to do so.
Mapping the ideas of Pagans (and especially Greek philosophers) onto the Scriptures has always resulted in people severely misinterpreting the Bible, as looking at the Word of God through a Hellenistic lens is and always has been extremely innapropiate to the author's original intent.
Whenever Greek philosophy or ideas are referenced, they're always portrayed in a bad light or otherwise used to make a point. Examples of the latter could be found in the apostle Paul's writings, as he was a fully educated Roman citizen of his day, and so he made use of known Hellenestic philosophy and literature (that he would have been familiar with) by redefining their terms and ideas in a way that would be consistent with the theology of his own religion. The apostle Peter did the same within his own epistles whenever he mentioned "Tartarus," the abyss/prison for certain disobedient angels that rebelled against God, despite the fact that the word has its roots in Greek mythology and not Hebrew religion (though, the belief that there were a group of spiritual beings that rebelled against the highest authority in the heavens was one technically shared between the two ancient cultures; even if the parties involved were vastly different, as well as the contexts of the rebellion itself).
The affect Hellenstic philosophy has had on the way people think (even subconsciously) can still be felt to this day, and can be seen in the confusion modern "Christianity" has brought on through its adoption of Gnostic teachings such as Dualism or the inherently fatalistic views that many unknowingly hold due to the error of Classical Theism.
While yes, I will be commending the heathen (unbeliever) whenever they are right with their ideas as pertaining to this subject, I will also show where they are wrong.
Let's begin.

"What Is Virtue Ethics?"

First, we need to define some terms and point out the differences between this view and others within the larger debate of normative ethics.
There are three major approaches in normative ethics, those being: Consequentalism, Deontology, and Virtue Ethics. The following are definitions of the terms:
Consequentialism – a class of normative, teleological ethical theories that holds that the consequences of one's conduct are the ultimate basis for judgement about the rightness or wrongness of that conduct.
Deontology – theories where an action is considered morally good because of some characteristic of the action itself, not because the product of the action is good. Deontological ethics holds that at least some acts are morally obligatory regardless of their consequences for human welfare.
Virtue Ethics – theories that emphasize the role of character and virtue in moral philosophy rather than either doing one’s duty or acting in order to bring about good consequences. The virtue ethicist would argue that actions themselves, while important, aren't as important as the character behind them. To the virtue ethicist, consequences are also important, but they would say that good consequences ultimately flow from a virtuous character who has made virtuous decisions. Theories of virtue ethics do not aim primarily to identify universal principles that can be applied in any moral situation, instead teaching that the best decisions can vary based on context, and that there are only some actions that would be universally evil, only because those actions could never flow from a virtuous character in the first place (e.g., rape).
Aristotle's idea of ethics is in an important respect different from most people's, especially today. Heirs as we are to Kant’s idea of duty – there is a right thing that one ought to do, as rational beings who respect other persons – and to Mill’s idea of utility – the right thing to do is that which produces the greatest good for the greatest number – most of us see ethics as concerned with actions. "The function of ethics is to help me see what I ought to do in a given situation," the modern says. Aristotle’s approach was different. His ethic is not so much concerned about helping us to see what we ought to do, as about what sort of person we ought to be.
Aristotle was concerned with character, and with the things that go to make up good and bad character; virtues and vices. His sort of ethic does not look at our action to see if it fulfils our duty, or produces a certain outcome, such as the greatest good of the greatest number, and therefore merits approval. Instead, it looks at us; at the character behind the actions, to see whether we merit approval.
Comparing Virtue Ethics with philosophies such as Deontology and Consequentialism, we are able to divide ethical theories into two kinds; act-centered theories and agent-centered theories. Kant’s (Deontological) and Mill’s (Utilitarian) approaches are act-centered, because they concern themselves with our actions, whilst Aristotle’s is agent-centered because it concerns itself with the character of a person, which in his view was ourselves and our own dispositions that prompt our actions.
Both approaches have ardent present-day advocates, and so both are alive and well. Virtue Ethicists are dissatisfied with the answers ‘modern’ act-centered philosophy offers, and look for a more flexible, person-centered approach that takes more account of the subtle varieties of human motivation. Those in this camp see ethics as being about people – moral agents – rather than merely about actions. Of course, your actions matter. But, for Aristotle and his present day advocates alike, they matter as expressions of the kind of person you are. They indicate such qualities as kindness, fairness, compassion, and so on, and it is these qualities and their corresponding vices that it is the business of ethics to approve or disapprove.
All this seems simple and uncontroversial; there are two ways of looking at an action to evaluate it morally. You can take the action in isolation and judge it, or take the agent and judge him or her.
Virtue ethicists argue that act-centered ethics are narrow and bloodless. What is needed is a richer moral vocabulary than just ‘right and wrong’. There are subtle but important differences between actions that are good because they are kind and those that are good because they are generous, and those that are good because they are just. Likewise, there are subtle but important differences between actions that are bad because they are selfish and those that are bad because they are cruel and those that are bad because they are unfair. These, and many other, distinctions are lost when we talk simply about doing one’s duty, or promoting utility. Questions of motive and of character are lost, in these asceptic terms. Modern moral philosophy won’t do: it is cold, technical and insensitive to the many kinds and degrees of value expressed in human actions. Ethics is more than just thought experiments and hypotheticals about what would be the right course of action to take in any given situation we might conjure up from the comfort of our armchair. Ethics is about doing, and about context and character.

The Different Kinds of "Virtue Ethics"

Virtue Ethics has has been developed in two main directions: Eudaimonism, and agent-based theories.
Eudaimonism (Aristotle's view) bases virtues in human flourishing, where flourishing is equated with performing one’s distinctive function well. In the case of humans, Aristotle argued that our distinctive function is reasoning, and so the life “worth living” is one which we reason well. He also believed that only free men in the upper classes of society (i.e., the aristocrats) could excel in virtue and eschew vice, being that such men had greater access to the means in accomplishing this task as they had the wealth and resources to better perform their distinctive function of 'reasoning,' and thus "live well." For the Eudaimonian, inner dispositions are what one ought to focus on in order to cultivate virtuous traits, and thus a virtuous character.
In contrast, an agent-based theory emphasizes that virtues are determined by common-sense intuitions that we as observers judge to be admirable traits in other people. There are a variety of human traits that we find admirable, such as benevolence, kindness, compassion, etc., and we can identify these by looking at the people we admire, our moral exemplars. Agent-based theories also state that the motivations and intentions behind an action are ultimately what determine whether or not said action is actually virtuous. Whereas Eudaimonism understands the moral life in terms of inner dispositions or proclivities to act in certain ways (whether righteous or wicked, just or unjust, kind or cruel, etc.), agent-based theories are more radical in that their evaluation of actions is dependent on ethical judgments about the inner life of the agents who perform those actions, that is, what the motivations and intents are of a person.
[Note: While both Eudaimonism and agent-based theories are both agent-centered, Eudaimonism is not to be confused with an agent-based theory. Both branches concern themselves more with agents rather than acts themselves, but Eudamonism focuses on the self to improve whereas the agent-based theory focuses on others to improve.]

Common Critcisims Toward Secular Forms of Virtue Ethics

Firstly, Eudaimonism provides a self-centered conception of ethics because "human flourishing" (here defined as simply fulfilling our base function as humans, which is "reason" according to this view) is seen as an end in itself and does not sufficiently consider the extent to which our actions affect other people. Morality requires us to consider others for their own sake and not because they may benefit us. There seems to be something wrong with aiming to behave compassionately, kindly, and honestly merely because this will make oneself happier or "reason well."
Secondly, both Eudaimonism and agent-based theories also don't provide guidance on how we should act, as there are no clear principles for guiding action other than “act as a virtuous person would act given the situation.” Who is a virtuous person? Who is the first or universal exemplar?
Lastly, the ability to cultivate the right virtues will be affected by a number of different factors beyond a person’s control due to education, society, friends and family. If moral character is so reliant on luck, what role does this leave for appropriate praise and blame of the person? For the Eudaimonian, one ought to be born into a status of privilege if they wish to excel in being virtuous. For the proponent of an agent-based theory, one ought to be born into a society or family with good role models and preferably be raised by such, else they have no moral exemplars to emulate.

The New Testament's Virtue Ethic

The New Testament authors didn’t sit down and do a self-consciously philosophical exercise, for this was not what they were concerned with. They were concerned with giving practical instruction to disciples of the faith, and merely trying to express the ethical implications of their spiritual experience. That being said, we know the apostle Paul was familiar with the writings of Aristotle. We can actually identify places where Paul displays knowledge of Aristotle and incorporates some of the philosopher's ideas into his own epistles. Before we do this, however, it's important we refute common misnomers about what the Bible teaches concerning ethics in general.
You probably have heard many attack the ethics of the New Testament as being primitive and simplistic. "God dictates universal commands to follow: 'do not lie,' do 'not divorce,' 'do not insult.' And the only motivating factor is escaping hellfire and obtaining the reward of eternal pleasure." But in reality, this is a gross misrepresentation of the ethics laid out in the NT. I will argue the NT advocates for a form of virtue ethics, instead of claiming the NT contains a form of deontic ethics, as it is so often assumed.
Elizabeth Anscombe was one of the most influential virtue ethicists of the 20th century. Her work helped to revive virtue ethics in the modern era, however she also criticized the ethics of the Bible for promoting a form of ethics different than what Aristotle promoted:
"...between aristotle and us came Christianity, with its law conception of ethics. For Christianity derived its ethical notions from the Torah. (One might be inclined to think that a law conception of ethics could arise only among people who accepted an allegedly divine positive law..." (Modern Moral Philosophy, vol. 33, no. 124, 1-19)
We've already dealt with the issue of the Torah in another post. The Torah is not laying down moral laws, but describing justice in the form of ancient Near Eastern wisdom literature. But does the New Testament teach a deontic form of ethics? Anscombe might appear justified in her claim, as some "Christian" theologians have explicitly taught the ethics of the NT is deontic.
However, other theologians have argued the ethics of the NT is best characterized as a form of virtue ethics. In a study of the NT, we'll support this notion. As noted earlier, one of the central features of this approach to ethics is that the aim of ethics should be on living a virtuous life. Other forms of ethics focus on directing actions when confronted with a moral dilemma, but for virtue ethics every action is a moral or immoral action because all of our actions contribute or do not contribute to living a virtuous life. In other words, for a virtue ethicist, everything we do will contribute to living a fulfilled life. Now, the NT promotes a similar idea with a slight modification. The NT changes the distinctictive function and purpose for man in Eudaimonism from "reasoning" to loving God and others instead, and thus "living well" is changed from self-centered 'flourshing' (as defined by Aristotle) to glorifying God instead. The apostles taught everything we do contributes to living a life that glorifies God:

"Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God."-1 Corinthians 10:31
"And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him."-Colossians 3:17

So we see the same idea in Paul, that everything we do can be seen as a moral or immoral action. Everything we do should be seen as contributing to living a life that glorifies god or not. As a believer, the aim is not just doing good actions to avoid punishments, but to see everything we do as glorifying God. On secular virtue ethics, all our actions are either advancing a good life or not: nourishing your body contributes to living a good life. In a Biblical context: taking the time to properly dress contributes to living a good life, and not giving into the sin of sloth. So all our actions can be moral actions in this context, and so likewise for Paul and Jesus, all we do can contribute to living a life that glorifies God.
Since God made our bodies to thrive and enjoy life, we should nourish our bodies so we can thrive as God intended for our bodies to do, thus ultimately glorifying Him. Since we were created to experience and feel enjoyment, laughing and enjoying things throughout life glorifies God as well since we're experiencing emotions that God created to be experienced. Everything we do should be to glorify God, and often all that is is living our lives in the way that they were intended to be lived. Biblical ethics is very much more than merely performing right actions, but living a virtuous life that brings glory to God.
As Jesus said:

"Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind."-Matthew 22:37b

It is also important to focus on what it means to love, which is an important aspect of what it means to be a believer. Paul makes the radical claim that to love is the entirety of the law of God:

"For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."-Galatians 5:14

Jesus also taught that to love God and love others were the two greatest commandments (Mark 12:28-31, Matt. 22:34-40). He also extends the commandment to love beyond one's brethren, and to love our enemies (Matt. 5:44). Loving those around us is central to what it means to be a believer (John 13:34; 15:12-17, Rom. 12:10; 13:8, 1 Cor. 13:1-8; 16:14, 2 Cor. 8:8, Eph. 4:2; 5:2, Phili. 1:9, Heb. 10:24, Jam. 2:8, 1 Pet. 1:22, 1 John 2:10; 3:23).
One might suggest this is no different than the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do to you," or a Kantian rule: "I ought never to act except in such a way that I could also will that my maxim should become a universal law." In other words, "to live well is to perform good deeds or actions and nothing more." But an important point about loving someone is it cannot be done through actions alone. For example, one could buy a gift for their spouse to cheer them up. However, one could perform this action merely because they value performing right actions without any love for the person. One could donate to charity because it is the right thing to do, and not because she cares for the people who would benefit. In such scenarios, they can be seen as idolizing moral laws, not necessarily caring about helping others.
But to love someone requires more than merely performing right actions. You cannot love someone and not care about who they are as a person and where they are heading in life. To love is to will the good of the other. Jesus chastised the Pharisees of his day for only performing right actions, but not loving their brethren in their hearts. His criticism follows Matthew chapter 22, where Jesus says the greatest commandments are to love. The implication is the Pharisees perform proper actions, but have the wrong motivations for doing so. James Keenan puts it like this:
"Essential to understanding this command is that we love our neighbors not as objects of our devotion, but rather as subjects; that is, as persons. Thus, we cannot love others only because God wants us to do so, since then we would love them as means or as objects and not as persons. We can only love one another as subjects, just as God loves us." (Jesus and Virtue Ethics: Building Bridges Between New Testament Studies and Moral Theology, pg. 86)
A critic may bring up that verses of the NT are still phrased as commands, and therefore the structure implies duties were the central aspect of Christian ethics. But the importance of duties is not foreign to Virtue Ethics. Instead of being central to the ethical framework, duties flow from a virtuous character. Virtues are active and have certain demands for which a person must fulfill in their active behavior.
According to Aristotle, knowledge of the virtues gives us practical wisdom in how to properly act. Duties flow from the understanding of the demands of virtues. To put it another way, for virtues to manifest in persons, they have certain demands that must be fulfilled. For the believer, the command of love flows from being virtuous and aligning oneself with the character of God. Commitment to the character of Christ, who perfectly carried out the will of the Father, allows us to perform right and proper actions.
The NT also contains lists of virtues the believer ought to emulate, the most famous of these is in Galatians chapter 5:
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law." (vss. 22-23)
Now, the connection with Aristotle cannot be more pronounced. The Greek phrase "against such there is no law" is almost identical to what we find in Aristotle's politics (3.13.1284a). It seems clear Paul is teaching a similar ethical framework to what Aristotle advocated for. Paul is teaching that the believing community ought to be persons who display key virtues, and that their conduct would not need to be regulated by a law. Instead, their character should be the standard others can measure themselves by. Romans chapter 2 is also a place we see references to Aristotle, where Paul notes that when Gentiles do what the law requires, they are "a law unto themselves" (vss. 14-15). In other words, they do not need to be told to act a certain way. They have the proper virtuous character that directs their actions, to do the good the law requires. Paul is advocating in Galatians that believers should think in a similar way.
So in Galatians 5, we have affinity with the teachings of Aristotle, and in other lists of virtues throughout the NT we see a similar idea, which is that Christians were meant to display virtues primarily (Rom. 5:3-5, 1 Cor. 13:1-8, Col. 3:12-17, 1 Tim. 3:2-3; 4:7-8, Jam. 3:17-18, 2 Pet. 1:5-8). From that, good deeds will properly manifest in our actions.
Anscombe made a great point on what the focus of ethics should be:
"It would be a great improvement if, instead of 'morally wrong', one always named a genus such as 'untruthful', 'unchaste', 'unjust'. We should no longer ask whether doing something was 'wrong', passing directly from some description of an action to this notion; we should ask whether, e.g., it was unjust; and the answer would sometimes be clear at once." (Modern Moral Philosophy, vol. 33, no. 124, 1-19)
Interestingly enough, Paul lays out a similar idea in explaining Christian ethics:

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you."-Philippians 4:8-9

In other words, the central aspect on living a Christian life was on what is virtuous, not on what is lawfully right or wrong. Right actions flow from whatever is honorable, true, and pure. Correlating with this is how Paul responds to the Corinthians who claimed that "all was lawful." Paul reminded them the emphasis is not on what is lawful, but on what is good for building a virtuous character:

"All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not."-1 Corinthians 10:23

One's main focus ought to be on what is good, not on laws that dictate behavior.
One of the key aspects of Virtue Ethics is the idea we ought to learn from virtuous teachers and imitate them. A virtuous character is obtained by imitating what a virtuous person does. This parallels a key aspect of Christian ethics. Imitating Christ was (and still is) crucial to living a virtuous life:

"For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:"-1 Peter 2:21

Paul says in Romans 8:29 that Christians were predestined "to be conformed to the image of his Son." Jesus often taught his followers to do as he does (Matt. 16:24, Mark 8:34, Luke 6:40; 9:23, John 13:15, 34). Paul says in 1st Corinthians 11: Be ye followers [i.e., imitators] of me, even as I also am of Christ" (vs. 1). Hebrews 13:7 says to imitate the faith of the patriarchs. 1st Thessalonians 2:14 says to imitate each other. And jesus taught to imitate the good Samaritan from his parable (Luke 10:37). Imitating virtuous teachers was key for Christian ethics.
Aristotle tended to compare acquiring virtues with that of learning a practical skill, like playing an instrument or learning how to become a builder. Such practical skills are best picked up when trained by a master of that particular skill, because a teacher can always provide more insight through lessons they learn from experience. For example, an expert salesman can provide examples from his experience of what works with specific customers that a sales textbook could never provide. Many professions today require on-the-job training or experience before even hiring an applicant. The reason is: experience is key to learning a profession. Merely acquiring knowledge from a textbook or an instruction manual is often insufficient to master a skill, so why would mastering the skill of virtue be any different?
In the NT, a believer is to see the world through the eyes of Christ and to love as he loved. One cannot learn how to be a virtuous person without knowing what that life would look like. A key component of Christian theology is that the Messiah perfectly represented the Father and His will on earth, to show us how to properly live as God intended for man. This central tenet of the NT aligns well with agent-based theories of Virtue Ethics, and modifies it so that the person of Jesus Christ is the universal exemplar that one is meant to emulate. We are called to imitate him through our actions, thoughts, and desires, and to conform ourselves to the way he lived. As Paul said:

"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me."-Galatians 2:20

If learning from Christ is key, we should briefly take a look at the Sermon on the Mount, which is said to be one of Jesus' most important series of teachings. Daniel Harrington notes:
"The sermon begins with nine 'beatitudes' (see 5:3–12) in which Jesus declares as 'happy' or 'blessed' those who practice certain virtues, and promises them an eternal reward and the fullness of God's kingdom." (Jesus and Virtue Ethics: Building Bridges Between New Testament Studies and Moral Theology, pg. 62)
Jesus laid out what a life for those that follow him look like in detail. One ought to be merciful, pure in heart, a peacemaker, thirst for righteousness, etcetera (Matt. 5:2-10). The Sermon does not merely include what right actions are, but includes sections on proper desires. Not only is it wrong to murder, but it is wrong to desire to murder or wish ill on someone (Matt. 5:22). Avoiding adultery is good, but one also should not covet after another man's woman in their heart (Matt. 5:28). In other words, merely avoiding immoral actions is not enough. One must also not desire vices. A believer is called to desire what is good.
The Sermon is not necessarily laying down universal moral commands. For example, Matthew 5:9 says, "Blessed are the peacemakers," but this doesn't imply absolute Pacifism, as it would contradict passages in the Old Testament where it explicitly says there is a time for war (Ecc. 3:8). The point of the Sermon is to teach what a virtuous life ought to look like. A follower of Christ ought to use reason to know what is proper to do in various circumstances. For example, in Matthew chapter 6, Jesus offers guidance on how one ought to pray by presenting the Lord's prayer (vss. 9-15). This is a model of how to pray. It's not a command for followers to always pray in this exact way.
In reality, the Sermon on the Mount mixes in exhortations, parables, hyperbole, declarations, commands, etc. It is best understood as displaying what a virtuous life ought to look like. It's not a law code. Building on this, it's important to understand a proper action is context sensitive. Under Virtue Ethics, one should not necessarily apply a universal maxim to every situation. Sometimes the proper action will depend on what is at stake, who is involved, what is the background, etc. Aristotle advocated against the idea there were fixed universal laws that dictate actions, and instead he argued the right action would depend on the circumstances one finds themselves in. Although the ethics of the NT may be a bit more strict, it still places an emphasis on being sensitive to the context of situations.
In 1st Corinthians chapter 8, Paul lays out instructions on how to deal with meat that has been sacrificed to Pagan idols. Instead of stating an absolute prohibition against meat sacrificed to idols, Paul instructed Christians to use reason to come to the proper ethical decision based on context. In other words, the right action is not determined only by a law. Instead, the Christian had to make the proper decision based on the context: if eating caused another to stumble, then you ought to abstain; if not, then there's no harm done. The value of the action depends on the context.
A Deontologist might reply that there's still a universal law given here: that one should always abstain if it's going to cause another to stumble. This objection can be addressed by asking: how are we to know if eating the meat will cause another believer to stumble? To answer such a question, one must be sensitive to the context, which in this case would be knowledge of the fellow believer and your relation to him. It is the context that determines the right action, not a universal law. Moreover, Paul states that the primary goal for the believer should be to love (1 Cor. 13). The first consideration is once again not the rightness of action, but having love for one another. From this, knowledge of the proper action will follow.
Paul often explains that living a proper life as a believer will take work and practice. He reminded Timothy to attend readings, practice what these things mean, and keep a close watch on himself (1 Tim. 4:13-14). Elsewhere, he directs that all believers must work on their faith (Phili. 2:12). Beyond this, he also noted that not all Christians would have the same gifts, and to accept that this was normal (1 Cor. 12). For some, certain things may be a hindrance, whereas for others it is acceptable (Rom. 14:2-4). What matters is that we love and build one another up (1 Thess. 5:11). Right actions flow from love and knowledge of virtue. Rules are not the primary motives that dictate our actions; rules are secondary in this regard.
An interesting case can be studied with regards to divorce in the Gospels. Jesus preaches against divorce (Mark 10:7-9) and it is often interpreted to mean "divorce is always wrong, regardless of circumstances." However, it should be noted the prohibition on divorce is not a universal law. The context can affect whether or not a divorce is permissible. Jesus says that one can divorce over sexual immorality. Paul also has a situation where divorce is permissible, namely if one spouse is an unbeliever and wishes to leave (1 Cor. 7:15). The implication one can derive is divorce is not ideal, but there are circumstances where it may be the proper action to take. Given the other features of Christian Virtue Ethics we already covered, the proper action to take will depend on the circumstances and what the virtuous agent thinks is the most loving thing to do. A universal prohibition on divorce is not a Christian ethic. Instead, one ought to discern the proper action from circumstances. However, it's clear in most cases divorce would not be the virtuous thing to do.
Building on this, it's important to note that within NT ethics, certain acts are always wrong. For example, idolatry and sexual immorality are always wrong (1 Cor. 10:14, Col. 3:15, 1 Pet. 4:13). There are no possible scenarios where it would be okay to rape, because such an act would never flow from a virtuous character. But this concept is not foreign to theories of Virtue Ethics. Aristotle noted that for some actions, no qualifications could make them virtuous. Actions such as rape or murder are always wrong, because they would never flow from a virtuous character. So it's not as if a Virtue Ethicist cannot claim that some actions are always wrong. They simply are qualified as being unable to flow from virtue, whereas actions like lying or waging war could be considered virtuous for the right reason.
Now, despite Christian Virtue Ethics having many similarities with Eudaimonism (Aristotelian ethics), there are also numerous differences beyond what we've already noted. One of the deficiencies of how Aristotle lays out his ethical theory is that it is essentially an all-boys club. Aristotle writes mainly to aristocratic men, excluding women and slaves. In his view, women were inferior to men and slaves lacked the necessary rational faculty. But the Christians rejected this mentality, as the teachings of Christ and the apostles were available to all (Matt. 28:19). Paul said, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus" (Gal. 3:28). Peter wrote that all Christians were part of the priesthood of Christ (1 Pet. 2:5). Jesus had women followers (Luke 8:2-3), and they were entrusted with delivering revelation (Mark 15:40–16:8). What we find throughout the NT is a radical change to how women were viewed in the ancient world. Paul is also likely building on Aristotle's household structure and refining it. David deSilva says the household codes of the NT are "...following the pairs laid out as early as Aristotle to such a degree as to suggest that these were standard topics in ethical instruction" (Honor, Patronage, Kinship & Purity, pg. 231). But Paul adds an important preface: submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ (Eph. 5:20-21). DeSilva says:
"...husbands, we cannot then ignore the distinctively Christian addition they bring to this arrangement; husbands are to be subject to their wives as well." (Honor, Patronage, Kinship & Purity, pg. 233)
Thus Paul doesn't break down the traditional perspective on the structure of the family, but he does add the idea that we all must submit to each other in reverence, love, unity, and cooperation because all are equal before God. There is no explicit mention in the NT calling for the abolishment of slavery, but it should be noted that Paul taught that slaves should be seen as equals. In the letter to Philemon, Paul is clear that his slave is no longer "as a servant, but above a servant, a brother beloved" (vs. 16). Thus, within Christian ethics class distinctions were supposed to evaporate. All were brothers and sisters of one family.
An important aspect of Christian ethics is that it wasn't a standalone ethical theory. It's embedded in the larger Christian worldview. The ethical framework is dependent on Christian doctrines. For Aristotle, his ethical theory is for men who were raised well. This is why these specific men desire to be virtuous and perform right actions. As for why the believer does good and desires to be virtuous, it's not because one was raised well, but because they have been activated by the power of God's Spirit (John 3:6, 1 Cor. 12:13). For believers, the reason as to why we desire to be good and virtuous is because the Spirit of God has regenerated us. He loves us so we can love others (1 John 4:19). One is meant to look to the life of Christ and what he has done by dying on the cross, to know that we are loved and forgiven. This in turn is meant to activate a good life, having seen what we have gained and been forgiven of. He calls and activates us to do similar to those around us. This is a more open system for people of all groups and classes. One only has to call upon the name of the Lord to be included. It does not require a specific gender or to be raised a certain way.
The goal of Aristotelian ethics is to achieve 'eudaimonia.' However, within the Bible the goal is as the Westminster Shorter Catechism puts it: "Man's chief end is to glorify God, and enjoy Him forever." Since the central aspect of Biblical Eschatology is that humans will continue on forever in resurrected bodies, the aim of ethics is more than living a good life presently. Living a good life now is important, but it was only one aspect in the Christian worldview. Humans are meant to live beyond this life, so the aim is also about building virtuous souls that will continue on. The importance of this is more crucial than it may seem at first. Paul said that we must all appear before judgment, so that "every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad" (2 Cor. 15:10).
Being a virtuous person requires integrity, because one will still have to answer to God after death. If one can commit an evil act and no one finds out, then from the outside perspective he or she may still appear virtuous. Culturally speaking, the ancient world was very different from our own. All wrongdoings centered around public honor and shame. One did good to receive public honor, and one did not do what was bad to receive public shame. Right and wrong were connected to one's public honor and shame in the ancient Greco-Roman world. Thus good and evil were public ideas, not personal ideas. Ethical demands were grounded in the community in one's public appearance
The Biblical idea of an omniscient God who cared about our ethical status laid a foundation for integrity and personal guilt to emerge. Now one ought to do good because he is beholden to God, not just the community. Believers are to remain focused on God's approval and on the actions that lead them, regardless of the world's response. This lays down fertile ground for integrity to emerge. So the Biblical worldview has another important element built in that encourages ethical behavior, regardless of the honor it brings. One ought to do good because of a commitment to God not, because it might bring honor to one's name publicly.

Implications for Preterists

Paul believed that the Second Coming would happen in his generation, and prescribed certain things in the NT on the basis of that belief. An example of an exhortation that would no longer apppy to us today would be 1st Corinthians 7:24-29, where Paul argues that the times him and his fellow Christians were in called for celibacy, being that the Lord was fast approaching. It wasn't a sin if you did get married, of course; it was just harder to serve the Lord in this context if you had a family to worry about. Thus, Paul encouraged being single.
So, we need to be careful when reading the NT and determining what prohibitions or exhortations are still applicable to us today. Context is key.

I'm in my 40s and after a conversation with some friends last night, I realised my pension status isn't great. It isn't terrible, I'm on track for around 50% of my current salary and (assuming nothing terrible happens) will have paid off my mortgage before I retire.
Some of them have been much more successful career-wise (and so able to contribute more) than I have and I dicked about a lot in my 20s, only really settling into a proper career at 30. I've gathered the little pensions I had from my various jobs during that period into one pot.
I'll still got at least 25 years (depressing) of working left before I'm at retirement age. My Dad, who worked in a factory his whole life, was able to take early retirement at 58.

I'm putting fake names... (A lot of the timelines are spread out but they talk about those specific moments, I hope they make since)
I have a friend, I'll call her J. I have known J for almost 9 years. She and I grew up pretty close and we were inseparable. Over the first few years of our friendship she had lost my parents trust from an incident involving a boy, she wasn't allowed to stay over for sleepovers and I practically lost my whole summer that year. I was pretty angry at my parents and blamed things on them. I regret my actions and I did learn but in my mind I thought J was the only person who understood me.
After the whole incident settled down. School started up again and she would jokingly push me into a boy or a locker. She started putting her arm around my neck, trying to choke me. She would continuously punch me or smack me on the head. I honestly got annoyed by it but I acted like it was nothing. She had suddenly became obsessed with TikTok and she posted a whole TikTok about her friends, their was a video of me that stood out. I wasn't wearing a shirt. Which completely made me uncomfortable because I wasn't wearing a shirt and she took the video while I was changing. She didn't take it down. She also would post photos without my consent. Like ones that made me feel ugly or disgusting. And I would tell her how they made me feel. But she would still post them. I started telling her no when she asked for photos and she always would sneak one when I wasn't looking. She doesn't take no for an answer. She will start whining when you don't listen. I used to trust her with my feelings and I would tell her about everything. And now I feel like she knows too much.
This past school year all of my friends (king, J, Joe, Bell) and I went to SDYC. And well when we went J was lying a bunch and starting a bunch of drama and it threw all of my friends off. We all didn't trust J and Joe that well during that time. I felt like the only people I had was my friends King and Bell. Because they both understood how I felt.
After that. King, J, and I had a sleepover. During the middle of the night I was watching a movie and J began to bug me. She started pushing on me saying I was taking up too much room. But honestly I was the one who was sleeping in between two couches there's no way I was taking that much space because I was falling in the crack. She then proceeded to call me a fat roll. I said "no your a fat roll" jokingly. And then she freaks out and she went to tell her boyfriend. It annoyed me because all her boyfriend knows how to do is talk bad. After that sleepover. She started working at the same place as me and I told her about my big crush on this coworker of ours. And so then she decided to start flirting with him in front of me. She would throw something at him jokingly and giggle. I didn't try to think anything of it. But then when we were talking about him the next thing she decided to say was, "your just jealous because he talks to me and not you". The thing is I don't want to talk to him that's why I don't try to talk to him. He has talked to me before, but I rather admire him from afar. He's like 13 years older than me. He was just hot to me at the time.
I'll just say I am lighter than a 5'6 girl. I might have a little bit of belly fat but that's just my body. And I do have an eating disorder. I don't eat enough, I practically starve myself. J honestly made me feel worse and I started having moments where I would basically pass out from no iron in my body. J continued to body shame me even from the amount of food I would eat. She straight up made is feel like she was calling me ugly and fat. It hurt and it made me angry. I told my dad and he said she's just jealous and not to worry about it. I brushed it off but she basically would say something everyday. It got to a point where I was crying all the time.
During my last year of highschool J didn't have a vehicle. So she would ask me to drive her places. I didn't mind because we would be going to the same places. And I started offering to pay for her drink or something. I didn't think much of it in tell I was always taking her places and buying her drinks but she still wanted me to pay her back for stuff when I didn't have much money. She managed to buy a vehicle for a small price by saving up the money she didn't spend. I feel stupid for offering. One day her mom even texted me asking for the small money I "owed" J. But my parents think I don't owe her anything because I have given her most of my money and that she owes me money.
J also does this thing where if you don't give her your attention she'll keep tapping you. Over and over again. Everytime she asks for my attention it's always for something so pointless and stupid. Nothing serious. And everytime I ask for her attention she'll ignore me. She does it a lot. She only wants to have the attention. I stopped telling her about how I feel because all I know is she'll either use it against me or not actually listen and move past it. Like once she asked me how I felt and when I told her that I cried about something she moved on from it into her talking about her crying over some movie she watched.
The way she treated me made me so angry that I texted her boyfriend anonymously asking him to control his girlfriend and get her to be nicer to others. He didn't like the message and told his girl on the spot and J tried to call my fake number. I didn't answer and then she ran to me to tell me the tea. She later assumed it was a boy she was flirting with that she pushed away.
I hate her boyfriend but he deserves better.. because she has talked to another boy behind his back. When I started liking this one boy. I told her about it and then she began to tell me how she met this UK boy and she thinks he's all that. She later found out he was lying about his age and she got back to reality before she lost her in person boyfriend.
She told king I was flirting with this one dude but I wasn't. J told me to add this guy she found on Facebook on snap, I said okay and I called the dude a nickname like a Grandma would call their grandchildren. And I thought it was funny and the guy thought it was chill. I didn't think anything of it and then I blocked him because I didn't want to talk to him. She then decided to add the guy on snap. And she starts talking to him. The amount of times she has lied is crazy. I blocked him but she still has him on snap. For what reason I don't know.
J and Joe and I have recently had a lot of problems with each other. It's always J and Joe fighting and I'm between listening to them both argue about each other. I was getting tired of it. J hit my breaking point when she decided to ask me for my boyfriends sisters snap. You don't just ask your friend for her boyfriends sisters snap. That's weird. She also asked for my boyfriends and she looked him up when I told her no and she added a bunch of dudes with the same name. She didn't find him but there is no way I want her knowing him or his sister. I have too many trust issues with her. She's the main reason why a lot of my relationships didn't work out. They didn't like her and she manipulated me into saying things that upset them. She makes me so uncomfortable. She made me seem lesbian once when I know I'm not. But she made a TikTok about it and a lot of people from my school saw it. I don't like false accusations. I'm pretty sure she used it for clout. But also my parents think she's inlove with me because she can never leave me alone and she always HAS to hold hands or hug.
J doesn't understand a lot of things. And she calls me stupid. I honestly want karma to come get her but that's bad and I don't mean to say that. It hurts a lot.
I had blocked J on everything. But since I worked with J I saw her and she started bawling her eyes out at me saying she did nothing, I felt bad but I was annoyed because she kept bugging me. So I unblocked her. I decided to block her again after because my boyfriend said she was manipulating me. And well the more I had her blocked the nicer she was. After a while Joe did something to make me give up on my friendship with her too and J expected that to be a chance to get me back. And well she did practically. She was a lot nicer and I felt like she changed. But Man was I wrong.. Just today I was working my second night shift. I said something as a joke because I was hoping J would get what I meant. Her boyfriend was on the call... He took everything out of context and said something that made me feel less about myself. I already feel like crap being the person I am. I want to better myself but the more people say things the more I give up. I want to be encouraged not dragged down. I don't know why he has to be so mean. I never did anything to him. I don't know why they both have to be... I listen to her call people ugly all the time. Like just stop. I want her to stop. I'm leaving for the military soon, and she said that I can't get rid of her. That sounds psycho. And it honestly makes me want to get away more. I'm tired of the toxic environment and I want to get away. But she's everywhere. She knows everything about me. She has photos of me I hate. She has so many things she can use against me. I'm honestly scared. I want to block her again but I know she's just going to keep bugging me about it. And she might turn people against me. She's good at talking to people. I'm not I'm an introvert. I don't want her ever find me again once I leave. But I know she might try. People always find a way. And she's creepy. Because I know she'll be able to. But I just want to move on with my life. I don't know how to remove her from my life. What should I do?

I'm putting fake names... (A lot of the timelines are spread out but they talk about those specific moments, I hope they make since)
I have a friend, I'll call her J. I have known J for almost 9 years. She and I grew up pretty close and we were inseparable. Over the first few years of our friendship she had lost my parents trust from an incident involving a boy, she wasn't allowed to stay over for sleepovers and I practically lost my whole summer that year. I was pretty angry at my parents and blamed things on them. I regret my actions and I did learn but in my mind I thought J was the only person who understood me.
After the whole incident settled down. School started up again and she would jokingly push me into a boy or a locker. She started putting her arm around my neck, trying to choke me. She would continuously punch me or smack me on the head. I honestly got annoyed by it but I acted like it was nothing. She had suddenly became obsessed with TikTok and she posted a whole TikTok about her friends, their was a video of me that stood out. I wasn't wearing a shirt. Which completely made me uncomfortable because I wasn't wearing a shirt and she took the video while I was changing. She didn't take it down. She also would post photos without my consent. Like ones that made me feel ugly or disgusting. And I would tell her how they made me feel. But she would still post them. I started telling her no when she asked for photos and she always would sneak one when I wasn't looking. She doesn't take no for an answer. She will start whining when you don't listen. I used to trust her with my feelings and I would tell her about everything. And now I feel like she knows too much.
This past school year all of my friends (king, J, Joe, Bell) and I went to SDYC. And well when we went J was lying a bunch and starting a bunch of drama and it threw all of my friends off. We all didn't trust J and Joe that well during that time. I felt like the only people I had was my friends King and Bell. Because they both understood how I felt.
After that. King, J, and I had a sleepover. During the middle of the night I was watching a movie and J began to bug me. She started pushing on me saying I was taking up too much room. But honestly I was the one who was sleeping in between two couches there's no way I was taking that much space because I was falling in the crack. She then proceeded to call me a fat roll. I said "no your a fat roll" jokingly. And then she freaks out and she went to tell her boyfriend. It annoyed me because all her boyfriend knows how to do is talk bad. After that sleepover. She started working at the same place as me and I told her about my big crush on this coworker of ours. And so then she decided to start flirting with him in front of me. She would throw something at him jokingly and giggle. I didn't try to think anything of it. But then when we were talking about him the next thing she decided to say was, "your just jealous because he talks to me and not you". The thing is I don't want to talk to him that's why I don't try to talk to him. He has talked to me before, but I rather admire him from afar. He's like 13 years older than me. He was just hot to me at the time.
I'll just say I am lighter than a 5'6 girl. I might have a little bit of belly fat but that's just my body. And I do have an eating disorder. I don't eat enough, I practically starve myself. J honestly made me feel worse and I started having moments where I would basically pass out from no iron in my body. J continued to body shame me even from the amount of food I would eat. She straight up made is feel like she was calling me ugly and fat. It hurt and it made me angry. I told my dad and he said she's just jealous and not to worry about it. I brushed it off but she basically would say something everyday. It got to a point where I was crying all the time.
During my last year of highschool J didn't have a vehicle. So she would ask me to drive her places. I didn't mind because we would be going to the same places. And I started offering to pay for her drink or something. I didn't think much of it in tell I was always taking her places and buying her drinks but she still wanted me to pay her back for stuff when I didn't have much money. She managed to buy a vehicle for a small price by saving up the money she didn't spend. I feel stupid for offering. One day her mom even texted me asking for the small money I "owed" J. But my parents think I don't owe her anything because I have given her most of my money and that she owes me money.
J also does this thing where if you don't give her your attention she'll keep tapping you. Over and over again. Everytime she asks for my attention it's always for something so pointless and stupid. Nothing serious. And everytime I ask for her attention she'll ignore me. She does it a lot. She only wants to have the attention. I stopped telling her about how I feel because all I know is she'll either use it against me or not actually listen and move past it. Like once she asked me how I felt and when I told her that I cried about something she moved on from it into her talking about her crying over some movie she watched.
The way she treated me made me so angry that I texted her boyfriend anonymously asking him to control his girlfriend and get her to be nicer to others. He didn't like the message and told his girl on the spot and J tried to call my fake number. I didn't answer and then she ran to me to tell me the tea. She later assumed it was a boy she was flirting with that she pushed away.
I hate her boyfriend but he deserves better.. because she has talked to another boy behind his back. When I started liking this one boy. I told her about it and then she began to tell me how she met this UK boy and she thinks he's all that. She later found out he was lying about his age and she got back to reality before she lost her in person boyfriend.
She told king I was flirting with this one dude but I wasn't. J told me to add this guy she found on Facebook on snap, I said okay and I called the dude a nickname like a Grandma would call their grandchildren. And I thought it was funny and the guy thought it was chill. I didn't think anything of it and then I blocked him because I didn't want to talk to him. She then decided to add the guy on snap. And she starts talking to him. The amount of times she has lied is crazy. I blocked him but she still has him on snap. For what reason I don't know.
J and Joe and I have recently had a lot of problems with each other. It's always J and Joe fighting and I'm between listening to them both argue about each other. I was getting tired of it. J hit my breaking point when she decided to ask me for my boyfriends sisters snap. You don't just ask your friend for her boyfriends sisters snap. That's weird. She also asked for my boyfriends and she looked him up when I told her no and she added a bunch of dudes with the same name. She didn't find him but there is no way I want her knowing him or his sister. I have too many trust issues with her. She's the main reason why a lot of my relationships didn't work out. They didn't like her and she manipulated me into saying things that upset them. She makes me so uncomfortable. She made me seem lesbian once when I know I'm not. But she made a TikTok about it and a lot of people from my school saw it. I don't like false accusations. I'm pretty sure she used it for clout. But also my parents think she's inlove with me because she can never leave me alone and she always HAS to hold hands or hug.
J doesn't understand a lot of things. And she calls me stupid. I honestly want karma to come get her but that's bad and I don't mean to say that. It hurts a lot.
I had blocked J on everything. But since I worked with J I saw her and she started bawling her eyes out at me saying she did nothing, I felt bad but I was annoyed because she kept bugging me. So I unblocked her. I decided to block her again after because my boyfriend said she was manipulating me. And well the more I had her blocked the nicer she was. After a while Joe did something to make me give up on my friendship with her too and J expected that to be a chance to get me back. And well she did practically. She was a lot nicer and I felt like she changed. But Man was I wrong.. Just today I was working my second night shift. I said something as a joke because I was hoping J would get what I meant. Her boyfriend was on the call... He took everything out of context and said something that made me feel less about myself. I already feel like crap being the person I am. I want to better myself but the more people say things the more I give up. I want to be encouraged not dragged down. I don't know why he has to be so mean. I never did anything to him. I don't know why they both have to be... I listen to her call people ugly all the time. Like just stop. I want her to stop. I'm leaving for the military soon, and she said that I can't get rid of her. That sounds psycho. And it honestly makes me want to get away more. I'm tired of the toxic environment and I want to get away. But she's everywhere. She knows everything about me. She has photos of me I hate. She has so many things she can use against me. I'm honestly scared. I want to block her again but I know she's just going to keep bugging me about it. And she might turn people against me. She's good at talking to people. I'm not I'm an introvert. I don't want her ever find me again once I leave. But I know she might try. People always find a way. And she's creepy. Because I know she'll be able to. But I just want to move on with my life. I don't know how to remove her from my life. What should I do?

England.
So just over 10 years ago I have been a student and living in the student accommodation. The landlord of the accommodation demanded to be paid with a cheque every 3 months so he would clear them all at the same time. I haven't stayed there for the full length of the contract due to the condition of my room and the house (there were rats and mice we were not warned about that were making holes in the walls, plus the ceiling in the room collapsed one day making the room uninhabitable with the landlord being unable to provide alternative accommodation), so the landlord allowed me to leave early without any extra fees. The landlord was quite old and was living next door to the house I was living in.
I got a message from landlords son(genuine as I had contact with him before about repairs) over Facebook the other day saying he noticed his dad (the landlord) hasn't cashed in the last cheque and it is "bouncing back" and if I can sort it.
Now I am unsure how true that is since I have stopped banking with the same bank that issued the cheque around 5 years ago and the cheque itself is over 10 years old and don't really have any way to check it. What is the best course of action here?

This issue has been going on for years that has slowly gotten worse. Me and my ex have two children together. (F7) and (M6) from the moment they were born their father never showed much interest in his children, preferring to do other things. It was after they were born that I found out that their dad was a compulsive lair. About things big and small, and completely unnecessary. He would exaggerate the most simplest of stories, this is why we split. I ended up having the children, I was happy to do this. I made all doctors and dentist appointments, did all the school runs. Clubs, events at school. He’s alway had access to all the information I have. We agreed that we had was that he would have them on a Tuesday and Thursday night. And then every other weekend. He was very much a just Facebook dad. At first it was fine, by that I mean that even though he was always late, at that point only by half hour but at least he showed up. Drop off would be similar, always late but I managed to make it work. It then got to the point where the kids started saying things like daddy doesn’t feed us, daddy didn’t get up till lunch so we were by ourselves and. If I asked him about it he would say they were lying. It got to the point where he’d start making excuses not to have them, car breaking down/ working late. and on various occasions wouldn’t get up to bring them home for school. I had to call multiple times. Always the same excuses. Despite my daughter telling me she woke her dad up many times for him to tell the to leave him alone. So I stopped the sleepovers. He didn’t care. He got less and less involved with them. A few months back he told me that he was being seen by a doctor for Schizophrenia, BPD, bipolar, depression, anxiety and a smattering of other things. And in his own words he was prone to blackouts and fits of rage. I was understandably concerned for their welfare and suggested that until he was in a better place to care for them that he sees them at my house, that would take the pressure off of him. I know the kids would be safe. He went from having them multiple times a week to barely seeing them for 20 mins. He constantly lets them down. Is a no show 90% of the time. It’s started to really affect the kids. He can’t answer simple questions about their lives. When I try to find out where he is I get ignored. I have tried but nothing works. Last night he was meant to come and see them at 5.30, well an hour goes by and I message him saying “late again, I wouldn’t bother coming” I was beyond frustrated and fed up of having to be the one to tell the kids that their dad isn’t coming yet again. He starts calling me all names. He’s perfectly able to text me to say these things but can’t tell me he’s going to be late. It’s gotten to the stage where the kids would be better off if he just didn’t bother. They’re catching on now. I’ve now said to my ex to just not bother anymore, that he’s hurting them.

I found out through my mother that my oldest half sister is in the mental hospital from jail. I stopped contact with my oldest sister for a reason, years ago. Actually from both of my half sisters. Because, they kept being pushy, are disrespectful and just bottom line too much drama. I could never look up to them and still can't trust them till this day. Because, they would quickly get angry based off their built hurt internal issues and life situations. Last time I had contact with her, she got mad because I wasn't so engaging with communication with her. So she kept sending me real mean texts years ago. I told her this is not how to start a sisterhood. I had just lost a family member and was trying to focus on my own life. Not caught in in their drama. So I blocked her. I ran into her in a financial aid line and see sat next to and yelled at me. Like she wanted to fight me. I was shocked and embarrassed. Everyone was looking at me. A few months after that her and my other sister come to my house at the time wanting to talk to me and apologize. I left them alone. I didn't want to surround myself with unstable people. I come from a huge family on my mom side with too much drama as is. Long story short I have half sisters on my dad side. I am the youngest and my dad never done anything for us. He was a deadbeat. I could never connect with them. I decided to distance myself for my peace and not surround myself with people that's toxic for me. Family or not. You have to be careful who you have around you. I'm trying to set boundaries for myself to protect myself.
So, anyway my mom works at a mental hospital and my oldest sister recognized my mom and came up to her and asked her about me. Sigh. Gave my mom, her number (which I can't call because she is in a mental hospital. The phone is disconnected) and our dads number. Because my sister found him and now has a relationship with him. She wanted me to call her and looked forward to me calling. I told my mom this is alot too take in. It's just too much. So I sat on all this info for a few days before even trying to call. I bite the bullet and prayed before calling her in the mental hospital. I wanted to make sure she is ok and in a better mental space. Sadly, since our first convo from hospital. I don't really call her. She calls me. Due to her not making any sense. Saying everyone is lying on her. Losing custody of her child not once but twice. Because her friend lied on her taking drugs. I looked up her name in the criminal record website. I was shocked she has a long criminal record that goes back years. Now since I found out this information. I do not want to risk being around her. I would be taking a gamble doing so. She does not seem to be telling the whole truth and in denial of her mental status and why she was transferred from jail to there. She claims her aunt lied on her saying she assaulted her and the case is old. Her aunt has a restraining order against her. She is facing multiple criminal charges. But she hopes the case gets closed due to it being a few years old. I asked her why did she just transferred from jail to the mental hospital. She claimed it's because she filled out the form in jail wrong so they sent her there. Makes 0 sense. Because she is in a 60 day hold. She keeps telling me the same thing over and over and wants to take the compency test to pass it so she can go home. This is just too much. Once again. I don't want to hurt her feelings. But I can't offer her anything. But prayer. I know she feels alone. Her mom and I think our dad talks to her. But my our other sister stopped contacting her years ago. Which is telling on both of their parts. I love everyone. Even the ones that done me wrong. I love my sisters even absent father. But, I'm drained and everytime she calls and talk I start to have a headache. What should I do?

I started seeing a teacher when I moved to a new city for a new job (met on Hinge). I was working long hours at the hospital during COVID but got to see her a few times a week. She was a single mother with a 6 month old which I did not mind but as I got to know her I discovered the following things. After 11 months of knowing her she gave me an ultimatum to get a ring and be engaged within the next 3-4 months. Looking back, I ignored and dismissed a lot of things. Here are the things I learned and want to know what you would think if the person you are dating had this history and they were asking for a lifetime commitment:
• She had cheated on her ex-husband with a man at a party. When I asked her what the issues were in the marriage, she said he was a nice man but just neglectful of her in the marriage.
• She spent the next 5 years with the man she cheated with on her ex-husband. She left that man because “he wasn’t going to move on up in the world and make something of himself.” In other words, he wasn’t going to make more money or climb the social status ladder per her. I asked if he was good to her. She said - yes! He was an amazing partner otherwise.
• Then she found a man who is wealthy and educated and a lecturer, who has a good family and generational wealth including properties. He told her that he was polyamorous. She chased him and tried to convince him the entirety of their relationship to convert to monogamy for her. I spoke with him directly because he is the father of her child. He said that she moved fast and was talking about marriage within 3 months of knowing him. He was unwilling to really change his lifestyle and even took her to orgies and shared books on poly lifestyle with her to see if she would be okay with being his main person while he does poly. After 11 months or more of dating and eventually living together, she finds out she is pregnant with his child. She tells everyone that she missed the pill for a day or two and got pregnant. (When she told me this I was very surprised because my understanding is that it’s quite rare to get pregnant with just missing one day). She found out she was pregnant and decides to keep the baby. All the while trying to convince the baby’s father to marry her. He eventually told her that he didn’t want the child or a family. While she is figuring this out with him, she began sleeping with a dentist during pregnancy. I asked her about this choice and why not stay with this dentist. She said that he was burning out and was looking to leave dentistry. Once she knew that the baby’s biological dad would not marry her at any cost, she calls up the ex-boyfriend and starts sleeping with him once the baby is born.
• I discovered recently that during our relationship, she has been scanning for other men and keeping her options open. I am so disappointed and upset with myself for ignoring the red flags.
Tell me if you knew this history about a person, what conclusions you would draw and if you would get into a long-term relationship with them? Thanks for the input.

I started seeing a teacher when I moved to a new city for a new job (met on Hinge). I was working long hours at the hospital during COVID but got to see her a few times a week. She was a single mother with a 6 month old which I did not mind but as I got to know her I discovered the following things. After 11 months of knowing her she gave me an ultimatum to get a ring and be engaged within the next 3-4 months. Looking back, I ignored and dismissed a lot of things. Here are the things I learned and want to know what you would think if the person you are dating had this history and they were asking for a lifetime commitment:
• She had cheated on her ex-husband with a man at a party. When I asked her what the issues were in the marriage, she said he was a nice man but just neglectful of her in the marriage.
• She spent the next 5 years with the man she cheated with on her ex-husband. She left that man because “he wasn’t going to move on up in the world and make something of himself.” In other words, he wasn’t going to make more money or climb the social status ladder per her. I asked if he was good to her. She said - yes! He was an amazing partner otherwise.
• Then she found a man who is wealthy and educated and a lecturer, who has a good family and generational wealth including properties. He told her that he was polyamorous. She chased him and tried to convince him the entirety of their relationship to convert to monogamy for her. I spoke with him directly because he is the father of her child. He said that she moved fast and was talking about marriage within 3 months of knowing him. He was unwilling to really change his lifestyle and even took her to orgies and shared books on poly lifestyle with her to see if she would be okay with being his main person while he does poly. After 11 months or more of dating and eventually living together, she finds out she is pregnant with his child. She tells everyone that she missed the pill for a day or two and got pregnant. (When she told me this I was very surprised because my understanding is that it’s quite rare to get pregnant with just missing one day). She found out she was pregnant and decides to keep the baby. All the while trying to convince the baby’s father to marry her. He eventually told her that he didn’t want the child or a family. While she is figuring this out with him, she began sleeping with a dentist during pregnancy. I asked her about this choice and why not stay with this dentist. She said that he was burning out and was looking to leave dentistry. Once she knew that the baby’s biological dad would not marry her at any cost, she calls up the ex-boyfriend and starts sleeping with him once the baby is born.
• I discovered recently that during our relationship, she has been scanning for other men and keeping her options open. I am so disappointed and upset with myself for ignoring the red flags.
Tell me if you knew this history about a person, what conclusions you would draw and if you would get into a long-term relationship with them? Thanks for the input.

I sent the guys and gent my 1 Liner but Incase they never see it you guys can read my story here 🫶🏼
2020 met my ex online we talked for a year 2021 physically met my ex after I turned 18 we became official and then I moved in with them after 6 months 2 months later we moved into a new apartment but from the beginning we were having problems and he would always break up with me or try to make me break up with him. We were good for a while but I guess i did things to upset him and we ended up breaking up but still living together and ofc we were still fooling around Our lease was suppose to be up in 2022 but in September we got back together and things was good ofc we were on and off. it was September 2023 we were arguing and he had gotten angry at me for not getting a package for him and he called me some names lol 🥲. But I had this feeling like something wasn’t right and something in the back of my mind told me to check his Apple Watch. I did and found a girl who sent him a TikTok video that said something about when your girlfriend something something. I knew right then and there so I saved her number. I called it but then chickened out. I worked night shift and so all that night that’s all I could think about and the next day when I got home I made breakfast as normal and then I searched her number on cash app and got her name and looked her up on Facebook. I reached out to her and yeah I guess they were hanging out. Turned out she was his previous ex. And when he went out of town for work he went and saw her. And supposedly they never had sex since it’s against her religion So we officially break up and I moved all my stuff out to my dad’s house. I don’t remember officially but I think I went back to our apartment to pick up my mail and I looked nice cause I was going to my cousins party. We ended up making out and planned to meet up which we did. And since then we met up many times. She found out and was angry but like what did I owe her ? Nothing cause she lied to me she told me she was done with him. She tried to tell me I didn’t love him like I lived with him for about 3 years almost and cleaned up after him and all that jazz. It’s been a while since I saw him but honestly I’m just mad at myself that I was so weak lmao now I don’t even want another relationship I’m just done. In some sick way I still wanted to be with him. But I’m pretty sure it was the idea of him that I had. It’s didn’t work out and that’s that. I needed to still use him to get over him. And basically I became the other woman. 💁🏻‍♀️

Hi to give some back story me female 18 and my dad 57 have always had a rocky relationship but still see each other every so often, my dad got married in 2018 to my stepmom 55 i didn’t find out until 2020, found out though facebook this was the beginning of all this i didn’t know this woman first time i met her was around late 2021 when she moved into my dads home we had an okay relationship wasn’t anything too crazy always respectful and nice to each other since i wasn’t there too often. my mom 38 and dad got married very young and divorced before i even tuned one in 2007 so everyone is nice to each other we went on vacation with his new wife and my mom side of the family and dads ,so i thought everything was okay that was dec of 2022. in nov of 2023 i ended up in the hospital and my mom was trying to reach my dad since i was in pain i didn’t want to call and we find out my mom is blocked which is weird because they don’t communicate if it’s not about me which is not often i ended up calling him and asking him and he said he didn’t know why my mom blocked but it had to stay that way which me realize it was her who blocked my mom so i told him i was not going to him nothing about my surgery until he unblocked my mom because i found it dumb honestly the next day my step mom post on instagram saying to not blackmail because the only person who loses is me , this wasn’t the first time something like this happened one time me and my dad got into a argument at his home and she had posted don’t bring drama to my door so i told my dad about it and all she had to say was the internet is public and she can post what she wants so i took a step back from them 3 months had gone where i hadn’t seen or talked to my dad and he called me telling me she wanted to apologize and talk so i went to his house the conversation started by her telling me that my bad adttide is why the people who love can’t love me she was talking about my dad like i said before we have a rocky relationship because of stuff that’s happened in the past which she wasn’t around for so it’s not her business so i got up to leave and she followed me out telling me not to go and then we get into a argument basically me telling her to mind her own business when it came to mine and my fathers relationship and her saying as his wife that she can say what she pleases then we get outside and it gets heated me and her are going back and forth ( all while my dad was just standing there ) and then she said if we’re in her home contry i would have all my teeth knocked out so i called my mom since my dad wasn’t defending me and her my mom got into it ended up finding out that my quince photo was never hung up because i look like my mom ( i am a spitting image of my mom ) so basically this is all because i look like MY mother and the after that she locked m dad in the house and didn’t let him out so i left. it’s been 1 month since then and and she sent me a paragraph apologize and i honestly don’t care for it and ain’t want her apology but everyone on my dad side of the family thinks i should accept it and move on but i just can’t see past what she said

Hi to give some back story me female 18 and my dad 57 have always had a rocky relationship but still see each other every so often, my dad got married in 2018 to my stepmom 55 i didn’t find out until 2020, found out though facebook this was the beginning of all this i didn’t know this woman first time i met her was around late 2021 when she moved into my dads home we had an okay relationship wasn’t anything too crazy always respectful and nice to each other since i wasn’t there too often. my mom 38 and dad got married very young and divorced before i even tuned one in 2007 so everyone is nice to each other we went on vacation with his new wife and my mom side of the family and dads ,so i thought everything was okay that was dec of 2022. in nov of 2023 i ended up in the hospital and my mom was trying to reach my dad since i was in pain i didn’t want to call and we find out my mom is blocked which is weird because they don’t communicate if it’s not about me which is not often i ended up calling him and asking him and he said he didn’t know why my mom blocked but it had to stay that way which me realize it was her who blocked my mom so i told him i was not going to him nothing about my surgery until he unblocked my mom because i found it dumb honestly the next day my step mom post on instagram saying to not blackmail because the only person who loses is me , this wasn’t the first time something like this happened one time me and my dad got into a argument at his home and she had posted don’t bring drama to my door so i told my dad about it and all she had to say was the internet is public and she can post what she wants so i took a step back from them 3 months had gone where i hadn’t seen or talked to my dad and he called me telling me she wanted to apologize and talk so i went to his house the conversation started by her telling me that my bad adttide is why the people who love can’t love me she was talking about my dad like i said before we have a rocky relationship because of stuff that’s happened in the past which she wasn’t around for so it’s not her business so i got up to leave and she followed me out telling me not to go and then we get into a argument basically me telling her to mind her own business when it came to mine and my fathers relationship and her saying as his wife that she can say what she pleases then we get outside and it gets heated me and her are going back and forth ( all while my dad was just standing there ) and then she said if we’re in her home contry i would have all my teeth knocked out so i called my mom since my dad wasn’t defending me and her my mom got into it ended up finding out that my quince photo was never hung up because i look like my mom ( i am a spitting image of my mom ) so basically this is all because i look like MY mother and the after that she locked m dad in the house and didn’t let him out so i left. it’s been 1 month since then and and she sent me a paragraph apologize and i honestly don’t care for it and ain’t want her apology but everyone on my dad side of the family thinks i should accept it and move on but i just can’t see past what she said

Okay. I need some serious advice. My partner and I have been together for over 10yrs. We have 2 beautiful children together, 8yrs and a 1yr old.
For reference….I was raised in an very religious Roman Catholic family(I am the 2nd oldest of 7 kids). I went to a Catholic elementary and high school, went to church every week, and got all the sacraments that a kid would go through. It wasn’t until the end of high school that my mind really changed about my religion. There was QUITE a few things that I just didn’t agree with and I started to distance myself from the church. I no longer consider myself catholic and no longer go to church or have raised my children Catholic. Although there are soooo many things I find absolutely absurd and appalling about the Catholic Church, I do recognize that my parents are still Catholic and just as they don’t question my choice to leave the church-I don’t question them staying within the church. I should mention-pretty much all of my siblings(except for the 2 youngest) have left the church as well. Regardless of those differences I love my family and we are all outrageously close, and my mom and dad along with my 6 other siblings are considered my closes friends and we spend most weekends hanging out. They are amazing grandparents to my kids and some of the most supportive and kind people I know.
Now. Here’s where things getting sticky. My partner has very….VERY, strong feelings about the Catholic Church. He considers it a cult filled with horrible child abuse. I don’t disagree that their is some seriously fucked up things happening within the church-and as I’ve said, there’s a reason why I left the church…but I just don’t talk about religion with my parents and I choose to just not let that effect my relationship with them. My partner is not so much that way.
So here’s what happened..My youngest brother is in grade 11(very big age gap between us). He is the sweetest kid you’ll ever meet and is very mature and overall a very kind kid. My oldest son and him have always been very close, less of a uncle-nephew relationship and more of a brother relationship. One day the 2 of them were playing at the park and not sure how the topic got brought up, but suddenly they were talking about heaven and hell. My son is a very inquisitive 8 year old and then started asking questions to my brother about heaven. I wasn’t there….so it’s hard to gather how the conversation went, but my son ended up saying to me and my partner “I want to get baptized so I can go to heaven, because that’s the only way I can go to heaven.”
I was quite upset about this, but truthfully I didn’t think for a second my brother said it to him exactly like that-or meant any harm by it-he was just a 16yr old who didn’t know how to answer a very deep question, and probably did a poor job of handling the situation…(he’s a kid after all) I explained to my son that that was not true and that his uncle was religious and that’s just what HE believed.
Now to say my partner was upset is an understatement….he was livid and started saying some extremely harsh things about people within the Catholic Church(in front of our son). Saying things like “you have to watch out for priest”, “they’re a cult”. I got mad at my partner and told him to cool off, and said that we should have an open conversation with our son about our differences with the Catholic Church-but that I didn’t feel the way he was handling it was appropriate, and came off extremely hateful and not at all a good way to have a conversation with an 8yr old. Not to mention our son knows some of my family is Catholic and I felt he was almost telling our son that his grandparents were bad people.
I ended up talking to my brother about the situation, he felt so bad and was so mature about it and apologized profusely for not handling the situation well and for putting certain ideologies in his head. He explained the whole situation to me and honestly, it was just a stupid mistake on his part and now he knows to just tell my son to talk to me if he brings up something to do with heaven or hell or religion. End of story, right?
NOPE. I should quickly mention that my partner and my youngest brother are actually extremely close. He’s known my brother since he was 5 yrs old and truly looks at him as a little brother. I’ve always loved how close they are. So, after I told my partner that I talked to my brother about the situation and how he maturely handled it-my partner says, “I’m not even mad at him….I’m mad at your parents because they’re Catholic and they’re the ones who have put all these ideas in your brothers head”. So now my partner is beyond pissed at my parents…treats them poorly and doesn’t come to family gatherings….
This is all extremely hard for me…my family has always treated my partner so well, and loved him like their own. I’m mad at my partner for being so hateful, but I’m trying to always be understanding of his frustration. I don’t like choosing between the two-but truthfully I think my partner is 100% out of line and needs to take a step back. The way he talks is so cruel and hateful and regardless if I don’t like the Catholic Church all that much-I don’t believe that speaking about someone else’s religion the way he does is kind.
I’m honestly so thrown off by his behaviour and feel like we won’t ever get past this.
Sorry for the long story…Any advice would be amazing.

Hello, I have been taking care of my dad for a few years. His Dr recently told us to apply for ihss. After getting all his paper work filled out we went into the office on 3/1/2024 and turned in forms 295 and 873. I was trying to turn in my provider paperwork 426 and 846 and was told i couldn't till i got a provider number. I was given a number to call and get it and then turn paper work in after i did orientation. Once i completed it i went and got my livescan. I'm march 12 i dropped off all my paperwork. I was told it will take 40 days in la County to hear back. This past Friday i called the hotline because i still didn't know if i was approved to be a provider. She asked if i did orientation and i told her yes and so she said that ok I'm good to be a provider. So yay for that. But then i asked her if she had a status for my father. After he spoke to her she asked when we turned it in and i told her 3/1. She said wow you've waited so long. Then she told us that we didn't have a care number and we aren't even in the system. She told us that we need to call before and get a case number then turn in the paper work. Is that correct? I am very worried Cuz i was really hoping for the back pay but if i have to stay all over again it's gonna be another few months til we can get anything. I guess my question is. Is ahe correct should i get the number first then turn in applucation? Are we a lost cause till then ? Also can i do some of the classes i see you guys talk about while we wait? Only ask Cuz since I've been taking care of him I'm living off savings and now I'm at the point where I'll need to get a job if we can't get it figured out soon. Ty guys so much for the help in advance!