after 1.5 years, i left my boyfriend. the good was he wanted a future, prioritized me, and cared about me. he wanted to work through things, wanted to make it work. he was willing to try to make things work.
the not so good…he was difficult to communicate with, didn’t understand my side of issues, didn’t respect my political beliefs, was tired of me making the same mistake, tended to blame me for our issues. He has trust issues and I got accused of cheating. He’d flip everything i say. after speaking to a therapist, there was confirmed emotional abuse happening.
i wanted a future too. he was serious about planning it, but because of the above, i didn’t plan because i didn’t feel secure emotionally—in my mind, it WOULD work and I know a future is possible and I want it. I think some of the harshness in the relationship is caused me to be rude, less affectionate, and not appreciate him. And that i feel so guilty for, because I loved him more than anything. I think unresolved issues and resentment kept me from being more appreciative.
we finally reach a point i no longer could go beyond. he called me pathetic, and I realized no matter how upset he was I couldn’t take more put downs. he wanted me to change, to put more effort, but after dedicating my time and love, I felt so stuck. our issues kept me from that effort, because i was resentful. He told me, even then, I don’t know if I could change to be what he needed.
Despite the pain, I know I was causing him pain as he never felt loved by me. I don’t know how, I loved him, but it’s how he felt. I was hurting him by staying, and I knew right now, before consistent therapy, I was not going to change. He said I’d change if I cared enough, and I said I do care but I’m not going to change. That set off the breakup. He gave me option to leave, and then he made it clear what he needed. I was in so much pain, I didn’t want to cause him more pain, I told him I needed him to be kinder and no more put downs. I feel I should’ve listed my concerns, and told him I wanted him to work on the emotional abuse and his BPD because I think he would’ve. I wish I would’ve been more specific.
He wanted to work through it, and I’m not saying to immediately get back together as I have to build myself up again. I walked out the door. It happened not even 12 hours ago, we have eachothers messages open. This is not feel like closure. I got the closure of the pain of walking out, but not the closure that I told him the right thing. I need him to work on the emotional abuse, and I work on self love to love him, and actually express the love I feel. I want to feel emotionally secure to have a future with him. I want to tell him this. We’ve almost broken up a few times (because of me). Our issues were so much for a relationship to be healthy, but part of me is willing to work on it, but starting from myself apart. Is there a way to have this conversation? I need the closure of knowing he would work on the emotional abuse and BPD. Even if it’s not for me, I want him to work on these for his future relationships.
Im in the worst pain without him, I just want to see him, I don’t want it to be over. It was my choice because I couldn’t stand to hurt him anymore, or be hurt. Hurt will happen, but feeling unloved is a whole different issue. Would a conversation laying out the what was needed be okay? I need to tell him more honestly, it feels guilty sugarcoating it now. I am willing to change for him, I need him in my life

Hello! Please be kind before giving any advice. I'm very stressed out and in a desperate need of advice. I will try and keep this as short as possible.
Me and my boyfriend are going through a rough patch. I found some messages on his phone. He wasn't cheating in anyway, but the way him and his friends would talk about other women was gross and way too sexual for someone in a relationship. Then I found out he broke my boundaries and still kept in contact with someone that he use to like/ tried to h/u with multiple times. But he said he didn't think he still liked her cause he lost feelings about a month before we got together.
His compliments towards me don't feel the same cause I know any girl he finds attractive will also get them.
I do really love him because besides he was a great boyfriend. He did everything I asked with no hesitation, he's loving, caring, romantic. He quite literally checks off all my boxes. We had the perfect relationship for a little over a year till this. We talked about marriage and our future together. But after all this I'm unsure. I really do love him and I still want to marry him one day and have a future and do all that, but after this, I'm not sure anymore. I still love him very much, but I don't get those 'butterflies' anymore or have that 'in love' type feeling, but I still deeply love and care for him. But I want to feel 'in love' again. I don't want to mentally check out of the relationship. I'm scared I won't get those feelings back again. I want to be able to trust him 100% again and feel like how I use to feel.
We just got back from college so money is tight as figure out our job situation, so I haven't been on any dates yet which I don't mind because I understand, but he reallv is trina to chande and he wants to fix things.
I really do love him and I still want to marry him one day and have a future and do all that, but after this, I'm not sure anymore. I still love him very much, but I don't get those 'butterflies' anymore or have that 'in love' type feeling, but I still deeply love and care for him. But I want to feel 'in love' again. I don't want to mentally check out of the relationship. I'm scared I won't get those feelings back again. I want to be able to trust him 100% again and feel like how I use to feel. We just got back from college so money is tight as we figure out our job situation, so I haven't been on any dates yet which I don't mind because I understand, but he really is trying to change and he wants to fix things. He admits his faults, knows where he is wrong, he says he really doesn't want to lose me. He understands my feelings, etc. He really doesn't want to break up nor do
So my issue is, how do I fall back in love with him? How do I trust him? I really want this to work and I want to be with him and he wants to put in the work to fix this? We both just don't know what to do. Is there like exercises we can do? Idk. If anyone has any advice, pls list them.
Pls be kind too guys. Thanks in advanced for any advice.

Looking for a (weird?) wife, and I’m not sure if I’m supposed to have multiple wives or not I am saying this for your due consideration.
I have dark hair white skin, am underweight 5’6 with acne scars
NSFW questions in DMs bc Idk if its allowed to talk about on this sub. details in DMs for this reason unless i get confirmation that it's ok.
I have autism, OCD, ADHD, synesthesia and others (all self diganosed but i have obvious things idk if i should get into that)
I don’t mind piercings, I enjoy them, but someone is not more or less attractive for not having them. I don’t like gauges and some of those extreme circles and cuts. I don’t have any body modifications nor had planned to make any.
I don’t mind tattoos at any place either besides health concerns n I doint have any either.
I don’t like when ppl have big round lumps of flesh that stick out, I do mean big, small/medium maybe ok or even attractive
Need to find her attractive without make up – yes I do mean without make up and there are women who I find attractive without and I do mean without make up of any age. I don’t think I care if she wears make up or not, but I have concerns it’s toxic and the other one if I turn out to be hypersensitive or irritated by it because I am autistic.
I don’t care about race or ethnicity or nationality or anything or location.
I don’t mind how she decides to cut or dye her hair, besides that im concerned about toxins and damage, but I am not imposing on her.
I like appreciate and enjoy alternative fashion (and before it was cool), ive also liked fashion that some alt people have called “too basic" (which may partially be their own insecurity), i just like what looks good. There is fashion I find too basic and kind of anti fashion in that sense too maybe bc I feel like is what people who don’t want to be judged for being anything thats not basic would wear. I don’t like it when people are mean to others based on what they wear or other pointless hierarchical stuff like that.
I don’t recall ever saying “cover up” (regarding clothing), especially wouldnt say it in an imposing way I don’t like to talk in impositions that kill a person’s invidivuality or there’s smth like you know that feels like it kills you when someone commands you. I don’t like to impose on people in that way.
If she cheats, Im not gonna attack, physically emeotionally or otherwise abuse , im not looking to hurt someone I love (besides BDSM and that stuff you know). Men have been allowed to have many wives but wives only 1 husband. I didn’t become christian bc I wanted to opress or restrict women but I believe bad things happen when you sin.
Is reflective and tries to not mistreat others
body count? Isn’t it irrelevant if she’s the right one, I never cared if she’d be a virgin until I understood more about christianity and the spirit world.
I need to be properly emotionally supported, and I want and hope to be good in her life too. I can also have irrational emotions where ik now something is not so but I am procsesing those emotions a certain way you know.
I am interested in very dark and mature topics and things, even if there are times where I may not be able to handle them properly.
Ive been interested in esoterics, occult and c0n5p1r4c135 and I do believe the c0n5p1r4c135 are real and this is important to me.
I don’t care if she talks to others to men or has male friends, idk if I even carei if she’s flirting, there’s no intention to cheat so why would I care??
I can flirt with others too but I haven’t done it much out of concern of leading them on + it doesn’t by itself have any intentions to do anything further. i can be possessive but it will be in the cute way and it can be fun to tease or be teased like that maybe idk but i dont want ot be abusive posessive.
i have female friends she can have male friends that doesn't mean anything and i find the discussions regarding that ridiculous, maybe very low vibrational or of low conscience. i havent done anything with any of them ever except with 1 who is kinda like a relationship but there's painful and difficult topic and even then not physically tho we never met physically.
If its God’s will for her to be with me and she messes up then I will just forgive her. I don’t care to check her phone besides out of curiosity, I think all those games are very below me and maybe obviously should be below anyone who claims to be in a christian marriage, granted im careful regarding eating my words.
I have to eat mostly carnivore diet with vegetables, some fruits and carbs sometimes for my health, but I have nothing against vegans if they are actaully healthy, also I know a lot of ppl can not be healthy on a vegan diet based on long story also some even on the carnivore maybe, im open to sharing details at some point but maybe not worth it here.
ethically wild, I can handle dark humor, I have enjoyed it and used it a lot myself, im not legalistic christian (if you know what that is) but im still trying to be right than wrong so I want discernment on the issue and how to handle it, if smth is actually wrong then I will try to just not do it.
I don’t care if she shaves or not.
I don’t like it when ppl make the same kind of jokes or have the same locked in interests that don’t evolve or aren’t inherently somehow stimulating and genuine. For example ofc I understand enjoying the same food or listening to the same music (except ofc that can get old at some point). I understand what feels samey to a person can vary between people and across time, but I don’t think I mean that. If a bunch of ppl make the same kind of jokes and turn it into something hierarchical and baisc, like they think everything else is dumb cuz theyh aren’t open to perspectives, ideas, growth and improvement hence they fixate on doing the same thing thats too bland over and over.
A lot of ppl have very juvenile if thats even the right word mentality to look down on others for vapid reasons including interests, when you don’t even understand them. while ive had those intrusions I figured its wrong and foolish to just give into such a lowly hostile urge, whilst I understand being overwhelmed and misreacting/just getting mad at smth for no raeson but u can figure out u shouldn’t be mad or its not that deep.
Ive looked donw on ppl for thing I saw as them being lowly about it like getting high off of the same joke instead of improving ur brain cuz I think u can even feel like when u are stupidifying urself and ingoring improvements just to do the same thing over and over again, like u can prolly feel like smth inside telling u maybe u should look elsewhere now or this could be betteur losing cognition bc ur stupidifying urself. I understand again being overwhelmed and looking for some stability but I don’t think that susually it. Al ot of those ppl may be doing the same stupid things to be liked by others and t hus disingenuous to their real self, bc as soon as u start growing improving going in different directions ppl start getting weirded out and ostracizing u. I look down on that.
I don’t need her to shave. Idk if I wont find some body hair too extreme, but so far I haven’t
! respect boundaries. If one of us doesn’t want something or anyhthing at all be it months or years even that should be respected. This is for love first not exploitation. Not any exploitation from either side and look for each other’s well being.
I want to have her walk around the place flashing me, trying to tease me and show off her body in various and subtle ways. She can be naked too if she wants or wear anything she wants
I think how someone moves can be very attractive and also developed, this goes for me too
I want to learn to dance so we can have fun and I can arouse her
I think women have qualities and do things in a way I value, enjoy and admire
I think men and women have different patterns in positive and negative ways (with individual differences of course too) and analysing them and acknowledging them with honest attempt to understand is not wrong, while exploitation abuse and denial is wrong.
if im smarter than her I recognize she can have important and valuable things to say, similarly if she’s smarter than me she also doesn’t know everything and isn’t abusive about it
about money, I have wanted money to help myself and others, not out of greed I think.
I have thought of if I need or have to or if its better to to live in the right kind of community. Takes a village to raise a child but maybe even to function, maybe the people who function not in it are the abnormal ones. I don’t think of a cold community or one that forces warmth and makes you sick, there’s a kind of higher understanding or spirituality.
I don’t mind if she’s richer smarter or more competent than me. I however want to be richer smarter and more competent regarding improving myself and growing, not to feel less insecure than her, and of course I want those things so ican be able to support her and others too anyway.
I don’t mind if she’s a girlboss or not or whatever I think its irrelevant and If she has gifts and drive and doing God’s will why would that be bad? Of course I don’t want her to be stressed out
I don’t wear deodorant or fake odors, maybe if they were natural or non toxic. I also don’t like perfume and would prolly prefer if she doesn’t use it but idk.
I think children are a very serious matter, over time in my life I was thinking about how I’d do things differently and how I’d treat children and communicate and teach them, and I’d feel like I’d see how other ppl are failing children and also children are not attempting to learn how to treat their future children or other children or ppl better like it’s weird but I think someone is going to get what I mean. Bc of my physical and mental issues I am concerned how well I wil lbe able to take care of children of course I hope to improve and God to heal me.
I don’t want my weird movements adjustments or whatever to be judged.
I don’t mind pets or maybe even can enjoy them but again am a bit concerned about my health issues. I don’t have allergies to animals that I know of. I don’t like making their health worse I don’t like selective breeding for that reason unless you’re selecting for improving health maybe.
I am usually not afraid of bugs but I don’t like killing them. If its pests like bed bugs or some kind of infestation it can make sense, but I don’t like killing random harmless spiders or others. Maybe if harmful even I’d prefer to take them away. No im not afraid of bees or wasps esp if they are alone or very small numbers, tho I may prefer to not be around a hive.
emotionally sophisticated and doesn’t criticize my whining, while my whining isn’t attempting to get her attention, pull or control her. If I need some sort of emotional support I can ask and if she is able to provide it then she is, and if she has to prioritize something else I understand and I mean I genuinely understand. Emotional support should be mutual and not leeching. I understand it may not be completely equal or if its not possible to be, but we should both care as much as we can in our respective situations.
needs to care about her health, I don’t mean exercise and exercises can be damaging and forced too, thus again neesd to care to even know of that/unless she’s managing to be really fine anyway. I am not against smokers or alcoholics, but I’d prefer it if she stops. I want her to be happy and healthy.
If she’s over or underweight bc of health issues I understand
I don’t drive part related to health issues and concern it may be too dangerous for me to drive.
God first. I don’t believe anything works without him.
I won’t k1ll her if she cheats nor 4bus3 her. I am saying bc I thought some men hide things and reveal them after they are deep. I don’t want ot be like that.
Ive had emotional and rage issues about perceived injustices (towards me and others, even when im not lcose to them or don’t know them. I have thought and speculated maybe I care more with strong emotions about ppl that I’ve never met or are very far away than most people directly that I have observed and felt out of place for it.) and I know sometimes I wasn’t actually right other times I wanted to know what is the right thing to do say and experss cuz I had thoughts like if I hurt them they wont get better, they may even get worse, I don’t even enjoy hurting ppl especially in the brain or if its smth permanent (even if I believe God can heal, ive even had angry thoughts ofc like if He can heal why don’t I beat these wrong doers up cuz they have no qualms about doing it to others unfairly He can just heal them, I also thought if I had the right words and perception I could lead them away from their wicked ways) , and sometimes I wasn’t able to, ive physically hurt people out of being pushed too much and rage and with that I think I have let people off and not confronted them a lot in part bc I wasnt sure if I was even right to confront them other parts bc ofc of fear they will mistreat me if I reveal I think what they did or said was wrong instead of discussing it and thinking about it/ they already expressed they didn’t care or justified it in twisted ways that im not sure I could argue with or if thats even human.
I have to live and I think everyone in a spacious place. Too narrow will cause muscle issues and variety of issues that will worsen over time you are not sick becaues you are old you are sick because you ignroe and distort your body. I didn’t last long at all, some ppl last longer than me just to make excuses that im lazy + their brain melts and they don’t use it much anyway so superficially they last.
Im anti v4xx I think a lot of health info is a scam and ive experienced it and saw others experience it, I think some things can be true or not have better ways at a moment to deal with some issues but it doesn’t mean its not inherently flawed or manipulated information to make u a lil bit less sick or make u sick in a different veiled way even if it makes it “better” in some kind of way, I don’t mean its ok to let someone die or suffer more bc of too much skepticism, my point is I believe in honesty and integirty cuz u cant heal soemone with lies,
and medicine like other sciences is corrupted . be careful and discerning unfortunately u cant leave ur health in the hands of conventional doctors u have to research and fight for urself.
I have experienced various synchonicities. I think God has helped me and guided me.
Throw things away and tidy when we’re ready to. Tired or health issues is not the same as lazy. No tartorship or tyranny about it. Im not growing black mold either ofc
if a woman gets SA’d, and she doesn’t want to tell exactly what happenned, but she wants help, is it right for her to be upset at you and hide information, provided you live in the 20^th century without internet and much media information, and if you don’t have personal experiences with SA or almost anyone has ever talked about it to you in your life, and you are just confused at why this person is refusing to communicate, and u have to take care of this and that issue, yet u don’t know if they are mad at u even for something that’s not even your fault or related to you if that happens a lot, then then u pressure her too much and now she’s hurt, you didn’t even think to make the situation accessible bc u’ve never even heard about that. If someone has an issue and they don’t tell your previous experiences and imagination so far suggest that they have stolen smth or messed up smth and don’t want to talk out of selfishness, not even bc they are scared of you.
I think I have went through humiliation, and doing things I didn’t want to, and failure to do what I wanted and weakness, to the point of not being able to process things and I think losing braincells and personality bc of it, trying to recover it and my functioning and health. I think most ppl are too fake and superficial, not learning anything maybe. Not reflecting, not trying, if they have gone throuhg something like that I think some people amy be just letting themselves go insane and hurt others while in denial instead of processing it, while I understad how difficult is to process it especially when people around you shame you and oppress you for it. I think I need someone who has at least the cognitive understanding for that. I don’t want to put others down for enjoying things.
Ive liked variety of media and art over time, vareity of criticising it and ideas of improving it too, and lately after understanding more about the world and Jesus Christ some of it was interestingly seen in different light. Also over the years I may have seen media nad the world in different light. I have synesthesia autism, adhd and maybe some form of OCD, besides maybe others. I’ve beebn able to induce things in my mind and some information that seemed so obvious to me others had said they realized from psychedelics, you have probably already heard some people’s minds can work like that too. Well some of the media is ofc immature since it doesn’t align with christian principels that seem true after trying to understand more and and a lot of the media is for brainwashing
ive wanted to do art music dancing and others but have struggled with health issues that I hope to resolve. If she wants to do any I am generally worried about toxicity from paint so I wouldn’t use it and wouldn’t recommend using it.
Semi ex astrologer. Bc im not sure if its all considered divination since I’ve had synchonicities related to it that I’ve felt like or wondered if God sent them to me. I do think He communicates with us somehow in various ways.
I think its importan tto be able to explain to a child why something is or isnt a certain way, bc I felt alienated from a lot of christians who just seemed to “know” things and judge things as evil or whatever with no explanation and cringe when I ask for one. I als orealize it can be hard to talk about, both bc of the content, how traumatising can be to think about again and again from an adult’s perspective + being too busy or struggle too much, not able to expalin anyinthg and everything one thinks.
I have health issues that can make it hard to think or process emotions bc of maladjustment in my cranial bones related to the whole body and pinched nerves and wiring issues, that I hope to resolve , and may need miracle healing for some of the damage, this is also why i write this way in the state i am its difficult and straining to write and use the exact corrects words and format everything in perfect order
I don’t want to hold her back from God in any way.
I sought for spiritual answers if spirituality was real until I started figuring out more and then about witchcraft, but I observed patterns in my life regarding a sin I was commiting and other reasons that made me think that it can’t be a coincidence any more + someone claiming he stopped m4g1c p0rt4l by saying “Christ is King” (but I will say Jesus Christ) and that the bible was telling the truth. The bible had upset me before in part due to things taken out of context and difficulty understanding, and of course Jesus does things a bit differently than the old testament, even if the law is still important, He teaches forgiveness.
I care a lot about the gifts of the spirit and the presence of God in my life but also in everyone else’s.
I think awareness or pcoessing of emotional nuance and self control are attractive as well as being free spirited but not exploitative
I don’t smoke or drink or do drugs I don’t even take medicine nor intend to for the most part, I don’t judge anyone who does but I’d discourage them. If my wife does I’d discourage her, I wont pester her about it unless I get discernment that I should and that it will be helpful, but I won’t judge her and I never judged anyone who did, except when they were hypocrites. I have never ingested more than a small cup iirc, if even that from alcohol and only on occassions, and then barely on any occassions. I have never smoked a cig or a joint or anything besides 2^nd hand air. I stopped taking medication for illnesses years ago and I only took sweet drugs as a child bc they were sweet after being told not to.
I have however engaged in various parts and ways of PMO for various reasons
I think everything we have is given to us by God, or if we eorked for it opportunities or what was needed to achieve it was also given, so no one can be proud.
I have done weird things for health, personal amusement and other reasons includingi finding people who may relate and enjoy them but have been accused of attention seeking and I find that deeply repulsive because im sorry for trying to find people to connect with? I didn’t push things that others arent intersted in on them, I was jst trying to exist, some ppl don’t make the difference bc they have a really small world and don’t even think about others much and why they do what they do thus make the wrong assumtpions and attempt to harass and antagonize you. I find that very repulsive simultaneously ive known what other people’s intentions and results of actions and thoughts would be, and they would be confused and hostile towards me for acting like I know them, but I DID. And what I thought would happen happenned so I was just used and hurt and bc they are soo deep in to their own mess they don’t realize what they are doing wrong and a lot of the time don’t even remember that I said what would happen. Ive spent too much time and effort on ppl hoping they would change. I am not looking to be used up by a partner nonetheless. I don’t pretend to know everyhting or be perfecct but I think some ppl are so lost, esp after ive been also judged for my mistakes and not explained like I deserve respect so many times.
Narcissist abuse mention below line warning. Hoenstly you shouldn’te ven read it because I am concerned it may just upset you. I am posting it because I think its important to show that I am aware. Specifiaclly mentions narcissistic “whatever” podcast men who project it on the women.
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Ive had a habit over the years of engaging with media that infuriates me bc I overthink how to react in those situations bc I don’t understand how that in front of me can be a human being with a brain who cares about others and if I showed distress or anger I’d be judged and harassed for it again, despite them being harassers and controllers I nthe first place, and I am afraid of forgetting about it and walking into such situation and being unable to control it. For example the “whatever” podcast the narcissist men were saying in an imposing way how a woman only thinks for herslf bc she wanted to be aborted bc her mother didn’t have neough money to raise her. Obviously u need money to raise someone properly for various reasons, and if he himself odenst understand that a lot of ppl like that are controlling demanding and imposing, while bitter about the sacrifices their toxic environmetns forced them to make (or they made out of their own inferiority hopelessness and lack of faith) or weere actually spoiled, but bc of that they imposed themselves on other people bc I know such ppl and how they grow up and how they treat other children, and are “thankful for being alive”, but obviously don’t have enough empathy for someone who is emotionally intelligent and has struggled to not be exactly like them, bnc those ppl also harass and abuse minorities and vulnerable groups and I have storie about that dotn wanna get into, and they pretend they don’t know what im saying when I do. No I shouldn’t have to remember everything u did and ddi wrong with ur life to expali nto you how you are mistreating me and beg for you to stop. This is a narcissist. I don’t like abortion after understanding that it’s actually alive very early own and has a soul already I think or smth, but before I didn’t know that when I was more justifying it, but I can explain to someone, instead of abusing them into making them lose any ounce of respect for themselves, bc growing up in harsh environment can also often invite other people to mistreat you, even if not always the case.
Bc of ppl like that cotnrolling my own life Ive also had a lot of bitterness and thoughts of revenge and this is part realted to my health issues, and there’s evil that I don’t know if ppl do it just bc they don’t understand genuinely, bc its demons or bc they have to be done something actually important for. I knew better as a child than 30 something year old men, and I have all these issues and I am still better, how can they justify it now? So I have wanted discernment regarding what should be done about various issues. No I will not talk to you or bother you with the dark stuff over and over again I even try to avoid it or build self control bc it can make you go insane im just putting it here to show that I am at least aware and thoughtful of that.

I have played D&D a walloping 2 times and really enjoyed it. But I want to play more than my local game store hosts games. So I decided to get the starter set and start bugging my friends and sistebrother in law to play. I didn’t realize how much I would enjoy just prepping! The source adventure material is laid out so well and has some great artwork to look through. I really have enjoyed thinking through what types of ability checks I could add in to reveal some critical info to the players and challenge them. I also decided to put together a game set for everyone that is joining tonight with a set of dice and a miniature that matches the characters they picked. I got a 10 set of dice on Amazon and I have a 3D printer and printed some free models out. The cherry on top is this quick reference guide that I printed out for everyone. This thing does a great job of breaking down the potential actions a player can take.

I keep receiving messages about how people are doing offers and stuff. They keep saying free fallout boosting or pay for my fallout boosting. And then they'll say get to level 1 to a thousand in a day... My question is that even possible? Like is it truly possible to hit level 1,000 in a day and if so why are other not doing it. What methods are being used? If not cheating?. The only reason I post a discussion is I keep receiving messages in public servers to the point where I've had to get into a private server just to stop them.

Hi there,
My boyfriend and I are trying to sell a condo in Beaverton Oregon for a competitive market rate. It is the newest, largest, most upgraded unit in Washington county with low inventory, 2 bd 3 bath 1200 sq feet with a double garage. It is part of a 7 unit complex with low HOA dues ($140). We’ve had a lot of showings in the last 8 days because of the price.
The problem is the exterior. It was sealed in 2021 with quotes for exterior painting in the 15-20k range. After a sea of no show contractors and inflation these exterior paint quotes have gone up to 30k+ with only 22k in reserves. It is entirely cosmetic, as again it is sealed with hardyboard siding. All prospective buyers have been hesitant to buy because they are worried about a pending special assessment ( there is not one) or litigation (no one in the unit is going to sue) over what is cosmetic and everyone has agreed to just wait for the dues to be saved up over the next year. There is no additional work to be done, all new roof and gutters have been completed etc.
What the HOA has said is this:
“That’s the idea for now. We plan to try to use reserve funds. If we can’t find anyone willing to paint within the budget then we have a meeting and discuss what folks want to do. At that point it’s on a group majority vote on if folks want an assessment which has been expressed as last choice, want dues raised, want to parse out the work into smaller bits and save up for it in phases or just accept living in a less than aesthetically pleasing building in favor of low bills. I know that’s not the norm for an HOA. But we are 7 units, with a goal of keeping these places as a cheap and friendly place to live. We try to keep everything as frugal as possible and everyone gets a voice/vote for any fees, dues increases, etc. I hope that helps.”
My realtor says she cannot advertise that the outside has been sealed and they are taking bids on exterior paint because the HOA has not determined how it will be handled- though that is exactly how an end unit advertised and sold in November with and FHA loan which has SUPER STRICT guidelines for lending, even they agreed it was aesthetic. She says the HOA needs to figure out what it will be doing soon, but they won’t likely do that in this selling period. They are really laid back and don’t want to ruin people financially for something aesthetic.
I’m feeling like I’m going insane here, is our only option to lower the price even though our place is going to be about 2100 a month as compared to 2800 a month for comps? Is our realtor doing us a disservice by being unwilling to push the fact that there is no structural issues and it is just paint? She keeps saying the longer it sits on the market the worse it gets but I don’t feel like she’s exactly doing the most to move it?
Really need some advice about how to move forward.

so, there are a few rape scenes in the show. the episodes with those scenes come with a warning at the beginning which is nice. i’ve never had much of a problem seeing actual scenes like that so i thought i’d be fine. however, in the second to last episode, the main character has a breakdown onstage and begins talking about his experience. i found the transcript and i’m copy/pasting it below:
“Until you’re passing out from GHB on his living-room couch, while he tears at your trousers with his disgusting hands.
And you know it’s wrong, deep down, what he’s making you do.
But you just keep going back.
And you start to think,
“Is my self-respect so fucking low, is my lust for success so fucking high, that I will repeatedly go back to this man’s house and let him abuse me for a little peep at fame?”
“Oh, you’re a victim. You mustn’t blame yourself.”
Good sentiment, but let’s be honest, the fourth or fifth time you’ve passed out and woken up with your dick in his mouth, you should probably think about not going back.
But, no, I just had to keep going.
I just had to get fucking raped.”
i had an ex boyfriend in my freshman-sophomore year of high school. we were on/off for 9 months. in those 9 months, he would pressure me into sex. i’d say no, and he’d either keep pressuring me, saying “i’m just gonna go home,” or he’d take it upon himself to stick his hand in my pants. at first, i’d protest, say “no” and “stop” and “maybe later,” and try to move his hand away, but he wouldn’t stop so i let it happen. from then on, i mostly gave up on telling him “no” because i knew it would do nothing. i still tried sometimes but it was a fruitless effort. i stayed with him for some reason. all of my friends knew about it, but we were in high school so no one took it seriously. i teased my ex best friend about her crush and she laughed and said “and your boyfriend rapes you.” it just became my ‘normal’ so no one batted an eye anymore. he now has a son and i’m afraid he will grow up the same as him.
it took me a while to come to terms with the fact that it was rape. i downplayed it heavily in my mind (and still do) because it wasn’t this over-the-top, violent experience, and i never really felt traumatized. i’m sure there are people who would look at my experience and say it wasn’t rape as well. but i felt so violated. seeing that scene made me feel things i hadn’t felt in years. i know my experience wasn’t nearly as bad as the character’s, but the way he talks about how he kept going back for success (or in my case, receiving romantic/sexual attention from someone) had me sobbing. i laid on my partner’s chest and cried for 20 minutes while he comforted me.
i’ve pushed it down for so long—5 years—but i think maybe it’s time to talk to my therapist about it.

Iam 20F datin a guy 22M i met online, the first four months were like utmost happiness, he seemed to be the nicest person on earth, then slowly things started takin turn for the worse as my familial conditions got worse over time and i couldn't get myself to clear the exam, clearing which i could have met him, he was irritable and we used to have frequent fights, there was a point in time, i was hurt so badly over n over, i decided to walk away and never look back but he tried relentlessly to get me back that time, tho things weren't the same as before still i decided to give it another chance, but things weren't gettin any better, he wasn't interested in communicating much lately, i got some subtle signs which suggested he could have been cheating, and although i knew he's been linked casually to innumerable girls in the past, (he himself confessed) that was never a problem in the beginning because i never thought we'd get this serious and now that we are i brought that up and said it isn't really gonna work given his past so he was mad and said how could i draw conclusions on his character like that and that i knew this one from the very beginning so why am i having problems now i didn't have any concrete proof of his cheating tho but there were subtle hints of it and a strong gut feeling which if i told him he'd trash it away and say iam overthinking, lately ive become so attached to let go but it's killing me more each day given the silent treatment he's subjecting me to as of late
what do i do guys? although he treated me somewhat not so good lately, he's been my sole support system since the past 7 months or so and ive lost contact with all of my close friends preparing for an exam! am i to blame too? iam devastated, please tell me your views guys

My husband is 42 years old, I am 39, and we have been married almost 20 years. During the pandemic, my husband put on some weight and started having some serious issues with depression. This lead to a lot of tension in our marraige. A little over year ago he started to go to therapy and improved emotionally which also led to improvments in our relationship.
Things really started to change a bit around new years. He has been hyper focused on self improvement, his diet, and going to the gym. This has also been good for his mental health but things have been getting weird. First he wanted to get Lasik because he didn't like his glasses, I told him I thought his glasses were nice but also supported him in getting it done. In February, he started electolysis on his back hair. I'm actually kind of happy about this, but also told him it wasn't neccesary. Last week he came home with a pretty substantial tattoo (a half sleeve on his arm) that he didn't talk to me about at all. I don't mind that he gets tattoos, it's his body. However, the fact that he didn't even talk to me about a pretty big change to how he looks has me kind of panicking.
He's lost a ton of weight, got rid of his glases with the lasik, started his back hair treatments, and overall made improvements in his appearance in grooming and clothing. While I don't mind these changes, I also don't really care about them and I wonder who he's doing it for. The tattoo was kind of a wake up call to me about how much he's been changing and the fact that he didn't talk to me about it first has me concerned. I'm worried that he's doing it for somebody else. I tried to talk to him about it and initially brushed off my concerns. When I pushed harder he said his therapist helped him understand that focusing on self-improvement will help his self esteem and self worth. Again, this isn't bad, but the fact that I had to push for it just makes me concerned. I'm worried he's cheating on my or intending to cheat on me.
Am I overreacting? Is it normal for men to go through this kind of drastic change for "self-improvement" or am I somewhat justified in my concerns that he might be cheating? Every time he goes to the gym I'm worried that he's doing something else.

For years i've always played Total War games with 40 unit armies using the save parser method. Since that isn't possible with WH3 i've been playing using mods that double or triple unit size, but now they've all been bricked by the latest update (again).
My PC can handle massive battles. CA's trailers always feature ridiculously massive battles. But in actual gameplay we never really get to experience that unless playing multiplayer.
Also The "Ultra" unit size option is a joke. 120 men in a unit of Greatswords, thats supposed to be ultra? Rome Total War had larger units than that.
Yet theres a whole game mode where you can mess with the battle settings to the point of having 1000 troops in one unit. I dont understand why they dont let us implement some of that in the campaign.
I just enjoy the spectacle really, playing warhammer 2 with 40 unit armies made the battles and sieges feel more real. They have these massive city scapes laid out and in the campaign you can barely have enough troops to man the walls nevermind defend the inner city.
I guess i just feel that in a game called TOTAL WAR it would be nice to actually see that in action rather than countless low level skirmishes between armies of 1000-2000
Thats me finished ranting.

Every time he saw Juniper, someone was trying to kill her.
He opened the second story window and let her in, as his best friend Troy laid down as much cover fire as could be achieved with a Hawken plains rifle. She was light enough to find climbing purchase on the rough-hewn support post.
"I've got six shots in me, and one of them is lead," she told him as she climbed in the window, pulling on a metal flask that singed his nose from four feet away.
It was the little details that stuck out to him in moments like these, and he couldn't help but notice that a single wild curl had escaped the back of her modest black head covering.
"Hello, Juniper. Why are the Sioux after you?"
"Probably because I stole one of their horses to get here," she said as she reloaded her revolver.
A shot burst through the top of the window, shattering both panes. Instinctively, they all dropped to the floor. That seemed to be all. By the time they picked themselves up, the Indians were riding out of town with the stolen horse.
"That was a really expensive window! The nearest glassmaker is in Denver!" Jack's best friend said.
Juniper's voice barely shook as she asked, "How far to the doctor?"
Jack shook his head.
"The doctor has gone to the next town over. Cholera outbreak. I think I can do a better job removing the bullet than last time...but drink the rest of your liquor."
It went better than he thought it would. She screamed a little, he screamed a little, but the bullet came right out.
The recovery was worse. Not because it was more painful, but because Juniper was so restless she kept tearing her stitches.
By day three, she was trying to convince Jack to go to Canada with her to hunt man eating grizzly bears.
"There's a pretty good bounty," she said.
Jack put the last stitch in place on her shoulder.
"Does anyone want to kill you in Canada?"
"What?"
"Just thinking aloud."
A fierce wind whistled past his little wooden cabin, but it was pleasant enough inside. A small pot of coffee simmered on the wood stove.
This time, wherever she went, he was going with her. He'd spent the last year of her absence in regret for watching her ride away.
It was rumors of gold to be found further west that ultimately captured Juniper's interest.
They left on a bright Saturday morning, with two horses and the most noisy and belligerent pack mule to ever live. They had courage and supplies, but nothing could have prepared them for the journey ahead.

Feel free to stop by if you want a laid back chat. I’m 29. Work as an office grunt that spends way too much time messing around. I don’t have anything specific in mind. Short term? Cool. Long term? Also cool. I don’t mind if you get off of Reddit live your life and respond when you can.
We might have some hobby crossover if you like the regular redditor stuff. Gaming, tv, movies, sports, anime and all that (always willing to listen to recommendations especially anime). If you’re not into any of that tell me your hobbies! You might be able to sell me on one and teach me your ways.
I’d consider myself pretty laid back and an open book so don’t hesitate to ask any random questions. Happy to show my face too if you care about that. Thanks and hope everyone has a nice day!

I haven't moved out yet. And while my career was going to shit and I almost ruined my second year of business school. He got me an internship in his office. Now, we spend almost 24 hours together as we have office stuffs to talk about as well.
My brain forgets at times that we aren't together anymore. Today, I was standing and my shoe lace was untied, he just kneeled down and tied it for me. I didn't feel anything but anger that he ruined what we had. I still don't hate him. He doesn't disgust me. It just pisses me off that he gave up the connection we had. We seem so intuned with each other. So compatible. It's annoying. While he can look forward to find another person. I am scared of relationships now.
I lived with him for 5 years and he cheated on me. I don't think I would have patience in any relationship anymore. Now when he talks about marriage and kids. I visualise some other woman and kids that look nothing like me. And it stings.
I will move out soon, and maybe I am already healing and grieving. But, would I ever get out of this trauma?? I am completely unproductive. I took a day to read 7 pages of an article and it fucking scared me. Have I lost my intelligence? Would I never get it back?

Post here quite a bit and always meet some nice people. Feel free to stop by if you want a laid back chat. I’m 29. Work as an office grunt that spends way too much time messing around. I don’t have anything specific in mind. Short term? Cool. Long term? Also cool. I don’t mind if you get off of Reddit live your life and respond when you can.
We might have some hobby crossover if you like the regular redditor stuff. Gaming, tv, movies, sports, anime and all that (always willing to listen to recommendations especially anime). If you’re not into any of that tell me your hobbies! You might be able to sell me on one and teach me your ways.
I’d consider myself pretty laid back and an open book so don’t hesitate to ask any random questions. Happy to show my face too if you care about that. Thanks and hope everyone has a nice day!

As the title says, she wants a break, she says not just me, but from everything
She is going through a lot, namely 1. Her dad having issues with depression, has it by birth I don’t know the medical term for it. His health recently has been kind of down.

1. Her brother is not able to find placements, hence there is a money issue back home. Her mother works and he is to be replacing her role and her mother can better take care of her father
   
2. She wants to support by getting a placement as well, but is held back by backlogs and cgpa issues.
   
3. She has to stay back at the hostel to complete pending lab courses, she is really homesick
   

Now, coming to my dumbass, i myself have been in a not so good state of mind and was unable to give my 100%, but she loves me, the things she says, the way she is around me.
Few days ago she goes on a trip, with friends, supposedly, I found out she isn’t staying where she is staying and is staying in the apartment where her ex is staying, she doesn’t tell me this and tells me she is somewhere else with friends. I later ask her and show her the proof and she said she was staying at her ex’s best friends place, although along with her friends( again supposedly). But she did swear on herself that she loves me and that she was not staying there. Now she is very particular about the swearing part and takes it hella seriously. I was confused, when I showed her the proof she is like she didn’t do anything that was wrong, swears on it. She said she didn’t want to tell me as she didn’t like the way I would ask her if he is going to be there and that my reaction would ruin her whole trip experience. Again, why would she swear she wasn’t there?
My trust is broken, she wants a break, now I don’t know if she cheated on pressure, or just went out with her friends. I tend to believe the latter, and so would every single person that knows she as they don’t expect that kind of shit from her
Now, the break terms are:

1. We are not allowed to see anyone else
   
2. She doesn’t know when the break is going to end, I asked week or months or years, she said it can be anything, weeks or months or years.
   
3. If I want to walk away she is fine by it, she can understand
   
4. She is fine if I want to talk to her or if I can’t take it and don’t want to talk to her.
   
5. Till then we are friends.
   

Please tell me what it is honestly, what your views are, our relationship is 2.5 years old. We have been through and accident, a guy coming between us and a whole lot more.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. He’s loving, kind and we have a pretty great relationship. My concern is that I believe one of my friends has far more in common with him. My boyfriend and I don’t have too many hobbies in commons, but both of us appreciate and get involved with each other’s hobbies.
But with this girl, she’s a huge fan of jazz, musicals, playing different instruments and snow sports much like him. What’s more is he told me before we started dating that he thinks short hair is cutest on a girl, and she has that.
We all attend the same group activity every week, so their interactions have been largely innocuous, but I can feel my chest compress whenever I see them interacting. Tiny things also like him saying “Bye [insert name]” instead of just “bye”. Or just him looking at her with so much concentration when in a conversation.
It also does not help that my dad cheated on my mother, so I already had serious trust issues to begin with. Dealing with this just makes my walls go up even more to the extent where sometimes I can’t be comfortable around him.
It just feels easier to believe he would rather be with her than for me to believe him when he says he loves me and the time we spend together. I also firmly believe he would go after her if I weren’t in the picture, which makes me just want to up and run. If he’s going to leave me for her, her should do it earlier than later. How do I deal with these feelings?

I cut ties with my friend of 4 years because I comfronted him about his problem with cheating on all the girls he was in relationships with. I guess his "good looks" and money got to his head because he wasnt always like this. He constantly brags about pulling any girl he wants and OPENLY says that he only dates them for their body and looks which understandably makes me and others uncomfortable. Another reason why I cut ties with him is because through my girlfriend, I found out that during those nights where I feel very down and suicidal, he intentionally doesnt want to reply to me when I asked for help because he "doesn't wanna deal with me". What about those nights when I helped you get through similar shit? When it's you it's a priority but when it's me, I'm an inconvenience? Im so glad to have cut someone so toxic out of my life.
enuff with allat
Ok so one of his exes contacted me a few months after they broke up and after a few days of meeting up and going on dates, the spark was definitely there so I asked her out and she said yes. What's getting on my nerves recently is that hes posting ig notes that are obviously targeting me and my girlfriend out and when I asked about it he just denies that it's aimed at us. Bro just leave us alone ffs 😭🙏
[sorry if i wrote this shit badly, english isnt my first language]

Hi everyone, I'm a European who has recently gotten into baseball. I'm looking for some recommendations on shows that will help me get a better insight to the current season. I've watched Dan Patrick's show on Peacock and I enjoyed how laid back it was. I've also watched Christopher "Mad Dog" Russo's show 'High Heat' and I found it too shouty for my quiet British sensibilities haha.
I'm looking for some laid back punditry that doesn't have a massive emphasis on stats. I have a bit of knowledge on the sport and I've been to a good few games whenever I've been in the States. I've been to Wrigley Field, Fenway, Chase Stadium and Shea Stadium in the past and I'm hoping to catch a game at Tropicana Field at some point as I have family in Miami and Tampa. I'm fascinated by the Ray's stadium despite all the stick it gets online.
I'm looking for recommendations on shows that are available on TV, to stream or subscribe. I also have a VPN for American TV shows and subscription services. Thanks in advance.