Monday
Dimmy: WHAT are you about to do? Stevie Kate: Go on my bicycle in my sandals and nightgown, way over there. Dimmy: Oh my goodness, are you so excited? Speedy Kate: Yeah I’m going to go FAR AWAY. Dimmy: Oh my goodness are you going to stay nice and safe? Runaway Kate: Uh… I think. Don’t worry about it! I’ll be FAR AWAY from this dog and pony show. I’m going off the grid never to be seen again on Instagram! Dimmy: Whatever. Push with your feet! Stevie Cycle: Mommy, look I’m doing so good. Dimmy: You’re doing a great job! Stevie Kate: If only you would do a great job potty training me and dressing me in the proper clothes to play outside in! I just lost a toe in these sandals and my nightgown got caught in the spokes! Splat.
Dimmy: We haven’t had a date night since London was born so we decided to do a date night in Hello Fresh shill! Some people use Hello Fresh as an actual meal solution for their family. Can you imagine? That sounds like a lot of work. We just use it when we have a code to shill! We’re far too lazy to cook real food otherwise, even with a meal kit. I mean, just look at all the junk and trash we have piled by the door!
Tuesday
Dimmy: I think when I look back years from now, I’ll be like why the fuck are all my family memories on Astroturf? If we’re not traveling, Stevie Kate’s either in the Astroturf side yard or we’re all on the Astroturf at the local shopping center having a picnic. We live on Astroturf almost daily when it’s nice outside! It’s such a fun way to be outside without ever coming into contact with actual nature- yuck! When we’re not being fake online, we want to sit on something fake offline!
Headed into my six week postpartum appointment! Steven wanted me to go today so I can get the all-clear to have sex with him for our anniversary tomorrow. Damn where did the time go? How has it been six weeks already? That was way too brief of a break from the bed troll.
It has been way too long since I washed my hair. It is so gross. But that’s not stopping me from continuing to not wash it! I am going to use my time to shill you shower bombs instead. I may be dirty, but I will soon be filthy- filthy rich that is!
Thursday
Dimmy: Today is our nine-year wedding anniversary! To celebrate, none of us washed our hair or changed any diapers, then we headed out on a walk. The girls wore last night’s pajamas and I wore London incorrectly. So basically today was just like any other day! Let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we?
In 2014 I started dating Steven after meeting him in HLTH code founder / BYU professor Ben Bikman’s weightlifting class, turning him down a million times, and dating a bunch of other guys. Once we started dating, we traveled the world together, which to me is the equivalent of being wined and dined, so I said yes when he asked me to marry him. What was I thinking?
2015! Also known as the year I made the biggest mistake of my life. We got married and became permanent planet partners forever.
2016 was a happy year. Steven and the rest of the Houghtons hadn’t totally sucked all the life out of me yet.
By 2017 the tide was starting to turn, but here’s a photo from when I still looked happy and carefree.
2018 was so bad I deleted all the photos from my phone except this one of Steven with the stupid body pillow I gave him that used to pop up as IG content as often as Active Skin Repair ads do now.
2019 was a year of travel and leisure, so it looked pretty much like every other year.
2020! We moved to Arizona for Steven’s failed “business venture,” started locking the fridge and bounced a raw Thanksgiving turkey on a sheet like a parachute with Steven’s family and the Frankenstones during the height of COVID.
2021! This was the year Steven made me roller blade for diapers containing either shit or money on Mother’s Day a few short weeks after giving birth, and also the year he shoved McDonald’s down my throat until I cried. It really was a life-changing year, because the CONTENTOT arrived in 2021, earning us so much cash that…
…In 2022 we were able to begin an annual tradition of five-week summer vacations around the world. It was also the year of Stevie Kate’s big first birthday bash that Steven skipped to get a blepharoplasty, and I ended up crying in the closet.
2023 was a bust. I got pregnant with the Disappointment Baby, not the male heir Steven wanted. He said if I threw a huge gender reveal influencer bash for our second girl, he would skip it like he did SK’s first birthday party. So we sulked off to Deer Valley to see my family instead and made Tanner troubleshoot the faulty pink confetti cannons in the rain while Steven lounged about inside on his phone. Tiffany was a no-show because God blessed her with a $2 million housing miracle, but we didn’t want her there anyway.
2024! The year Steven took Stevie Kate to China and truly showed what an unfit father he is. She almost didn’t survive. This was also the year we didn’t tell Stevie Kate she turned three until April, and also we became a family of four! And all of you assholes are thinking, wow, does this girl not have a limit? How does she tolerate Steven and his terrible family and not walk out the door?
Friday
Dimmy: For our anniversary yesterday we stayed at a hotel while someone (Diana, but I won’t give her credit) watched the girls. I knew Steven had the hotel booked but all day I thought I wasn’t getting anything else, just a night with the fridge troll. 🤢 He didn’t tell me happy anniversary or give me flowers or anything. But I was wrong! When I got to the hotel there were roses in the middle of the bed, along with a fucking chocolate cake! There were also four chocolate covered strawberries and a random ass brownie scattered on the the white bedspread. And that’s not all! Cap’n Crunch, Fruity Pebbles and Lucky Charms were in the room too! And a box of Dirty Dough cookies. But you know what was missing? Plates, bowls and utensils! Thank goodness Steven had his rusty pocket knife. I was hoping he’d get tetanus or eat so much sugar he’d pass out without touching me!
Dummy must still be fighting his way out of a sugar fog because today he’s “too busy” to go car shopping with Dimmy, but apparently not too busy to watch Stevie Kate while Dimmy, Diana and London flitted about from luxury car dealer to dealer looking at giant vehicles. The trio traveled by orange parachute, which also doubled as a dress Dimmy wore. 🪂 No one could focus on the cars Dimmy showed or any of the features she was comparing because her billowy parachute dress was too distracting.
Dimmy: Before I sign off for the night, you know I’ve got to shill something dumb first because the only thing I like more than sleeping ten hours a night, is making money while I sleep! ARMRA COLOSTRUM. We have been using this for months and we do not get sick because we take Armra every single day! 🤥
Dummy: Watermelon is the best flavor. No, wait, I like the unflavored one the best. Because it doesn’t taste like anything. Which is what I actually take: NOTHING! But make sure YOU buy one of each!
Saturday
Dimmy: Introducing… Princess Aurora with her beautiful train dragging behind her! Cinder Kate: I’m dressed like Cinderella. And I told you two weeks ago to stop introducing me like the Denner girl with the unfortunate mouth. Dimmy: Speaking of which, guess who we are going to see today?? Cinder Kate: Cinderella??!! Dimmy: Guess again! Stevie Kate: Princess Aurora? Dimmy: Remi Denner! Stevie Kate: Nooooo! Dimmy: I’ll buy you a donut if you cooperate! Stevie Kate: In that case I’ll grab my princess heels… let’s go!
The Denner girl turned out to be the least of Cinder Kate’s worries as the Denner boy, that bratty overgrown baby named Rhett, escaped his double stroller and took her hand while she was walking ahead of the group pretending she didn’t know who any of these assholes were. Speedy Kate shook him loose and took off running, making a mental note to bring her scooter next time for an even faster getaway. She ran all the way home to watch Cinderella and get her mind off the whole awful ordeal but no one would let her watch her movie so she just binged Dimmy’s powdered sunscreen video over and over that was part of her PR package. Watching an ad for sunscreen sure beat hanging out with the Denners.
Dimmy: Good job, Stevie Kate! Watching shills is always encouraged! Time to link it up and douse you in powdered sunscreen! Stevie Cough: Vanishes into a dust storm of powdered sunscreen
Dimmy: Hey Iris, what recipes do you suggest for dinner? The fridge troll ate all of our Factor meals. Snaps photo of fridge contents.
Iris: Well you don’t have much to work with so I’d suggest you let Stevie Kate take that bag of leftover rotisserie chicken into the side yard and smother it in a mixture of the Bonne Maman jam, sour cream, and sugar fee Jello pudding. That can be her dinner and you can have milk and cereal for dinner, assuming you have Magic Spoon in the pantry.
Dimmy: That sounds disgusting!
Iris: Shit, IDK. 🤷‍♂️ You can always use your empty fridge as an excuse to shill a Hello Fresh order, then have pizza delivered for dinner? By the way, can I suggest a color palette for you? That orange dress you had on yesterday was tragic AF.
Dimmy: Fuck off.
LINK TO THIS WEEK’S PHOTO

I made a post long ago here : On how to treat dogs in Puerto Rico https://old.reddit.com/PuertoRicoTravel/comments/14d20z2/how_to_interact_care_for_dogs_in_puerto_rico_a/

San Miguel Veterinary Services
(787) 200-4927 (787) 641-5225
11 Calle 6, Bayamón, 00959 Carr #2 Km. 11.8, Edificio Centurión Local 1, Bayamon, Puerto Rico
Monday through Friday 7am - 6pm; Saturday 9am - 2pm

Nearly all 5 star reviews - good luck!
I spoke with my vet in San Juan - and they said this vet service will help your stray dog (most will not). The main procedures you want are :
Simparica Trio ($50), Vaccines ($150), and Spay / Neuter ($200, show up before 9am)
https://www.petco.com/shop/en/petcostore/product/simparica-trio-221-44-lbs-dogs
I was able to get my Trio at a Petco in Puerto Rico (it is about $50) - but others have had difficulty. If you have 3+ days, I would recommend - ST & Vaccines, then Spay / neutering 48 hours later, while helping them gain as much weight as possible.
If I only had 1 day - and it was a female dog - I would prioritize Spaying over everything else - that dog will die giving birth otherwise, within 2 months. With a male dog, ST & vaccines are more important - neutering will only reduce aggression.
Generally speaking - I would recommend ground beef as the best food for strays - or rotisserie chicken. I give my dogs small amounts of creatine powder - into the water bowl (1 g / day for 40 lb dog - 1/2 human dosage per pound).
Creatine ($50 for infinite supply) is basically health magic. It fixes heart, lung, muscle problems nearly instantly, if there is enough protein (meat) to repair these things. In my dog - she had been limping for 2 years, was slowly getting better, and then stopped limping completely within 2 days of having creatine - and began to run again. My bigger dog no longer has heart / breathing issues, again, within just a few days of creatine.
There is enough creatine in ground beef and rotisserie chicken to fix a dog - but standard dog food has 0 creatine - which is only suitable for fully healthy, lazy dogs (no muscle building or repair).
I have also given dogs small amounts of 0 sugar electrolyte powder and Pedialyte, but results are meddling. It WILL keep them alive if they are not eating food, for several days. But in the future, I would lean strongly toward creatine powder + liquefied ground beef into a fat syringe.
When it comes to electrolytes, if they are shaking, they need more and Pedialyte will 100% help - but try as little sugar as possible, 0 sugar Liquid IV (Costco) best. If they have too much salt - they will lose appetite and pee aggressively. I might suggest 20 ml per serving for a 20 lb dog, twice daily - or 1/10 human dosage per pound.
I had a dog die from eating something that got stuck in their intestines, recently, and after $5,000 and two weeks of hospital care - the doctor 'whoops' and killed the dog. If a dog is not pooping - fat is probably the best laxative you might want to consider, which will also prevent excess calorie loss from not eating. If a dog is not pooping - I would suggest fat as the cheapest, healthiest remedy. I did not think of this at the time, and doctor just killed my dog - because 'not pooping is not medically relevant'.. this was at the 24/7 Emergency Car hospital in San Juan, both of which have a 2 star rating..
These people look very promising however..

Ladies... Where to begin. Forgive the length.
My in-laws. Pretty normal marriage with normal ups and downs for 40 ish years. The last 20ish years, however, were different (so together 60 years). He had always been a bit of a controlling asshole, as most men of the boomer generation were. Never hit her or anything (which he is proud of), but was always very much "my way or the highway", never compromised, and everyone lived at the mercy of his decisions.
He made bad decisions.
Bad business deals, bad with money, gambling, etc.
Through it all, my MIL worked a steady job and kept the family afloat while he spent (or lost) every penny he made.
When the kids grew and left, and he "retired", he started gambling more and more. The casino was his only "fun". He burned through his entire savings, including retirement savings. He started burning through her savings. He couldn't get to her retirement account because that was the only thing that was in her name only, but he would have if he could have.
He never told her about the losses. She had no idea how much money they had, what he had taken. He controlled all of the accounts.
As he lost more and more money, naturally he became more and more bitter. He would get in moods where he simply wouldn't speak to her, at all, for months on end. Absolutely cruel emotional torture. She never knew what she did wrong, what he was mad about. He just pretended that she wasn't there.
When he did talk, he was angry and petty. She would ask him to do something with her, go somewhere, visit a friend, and he'd get mad. He wouldn't go anywhere but the casino.
And yet, he denied ever going to the casino. He'd say that he was going grocery shopping. He always came home with groceries, and then would cook them dinner in silence. But he'd be gone for hours, and this was every day.
She became suspicious when we had all been talking for months about going on a summer vacation together. My husband and I were happy to pay, since we knew they were on a fixed income. But they insisted that they would pay their fair share. We relented and agreed to let them pay. When it came time for them to pony up and buy their flights, he suddenly thought it was all "too expensive" and they couldn't go anymore. When we pressed, he claimed that they had some "unexpected bills" and could no longer afford to go. When MIL asked him "what unexpected bills?! We haven't had any unexpected bills", he went silent, and didn't speak to anyone for weeks.
MIL eventually figured out how to access the bank statements. Saw what he'd done, and it broke her heart.
Around this time, she had an aunt that passed away, and left her $20,000. Naturally, since all their other savings was now gone, she wanted to hold on to this $20,000. When he demanded she give it to him for him to "take care of", she refused. She opened her own account and didn't give him access. This infuriated him, and they lived like hostile roommates for months.
Finally, she had had enough and decided to email him (since he wouldn't speak to her). The email was heartbreaking, detailing her thoughts and feelings, how she felt she had been mistreated all these years, and how it's all just gotten worse and worse, and how she was finally going to take charge of her life. This was the ultimatum - stop going to the casino, start talking to her, start doing things with her and being a normal couple - or they would have to go their separate ways. She wasn't going to spend the few years she had left being miserable.
He finally spoke to her after months of not. "Let's just go our separate ways."
This was not the answer she was hoping for, after 60 years of marriage. So, naturally, she got a little angry and said some shit. Thoughts that she had never shared with him. Things he didn't know. What she "really" thought of him and the many horrific choices he'd made over the years that had devastated her over and over again.
He found these words unforgiveable.
She moved out. She moved to a retirement community where a friend lived. She LOVED it. LOVED IT!! She made a group of friends. They went shopping, they went to restaurants, they played cards and worked on puzzles, they did exercise classes and had social dances and played bingo and read books and talked and laughed and flirted with the single men and she told us that she was the happiest she had EVER been. I was SO FUCKING PROUD OF HER.
He, on the other hand, could no longer afford to live. His social security was not enough to pay his rent and bills and still eat. So he was forced to get a job - at 78. He got even worse, even more miserable, and every time we spoke to him, the rage would cut through the phone. He would talk to his son about his mother like she was the most evil person who had ever lived. He HATED her. He wished her dead. He wished her cancer.
He got his wish.
A few months ago, she started to feel pain. Health systems being what they are, it took her months to get a diagnosis. The pain got worse and worse, debilitating. We just got the official word last week. Very aggressive, terminal, very painful, no treatment, no cure.
She has chosen palliative care, and assisted suicide. (Canadian - they have that there). The process to get that procedure is a long one, but she has started it.
My husband and his brother avoided telling their dad she was sick until they had the offical diagnosis. So they called to tell him the news last week. He broke down, he said he still hated her. He said some awful things to his sons about their mother.
After getting the offical diagnosis, we got another call that she had taken another turn for the worse. So, my husband and I and our son packed up the car and drove 13 hours to see her. We drive right to the hospital and... FIL is lying in bed with MIL.
He showed up, he came back. This was shocking, surprising, happy, sad, and weird, and just a giant ball of awkward and confusion and fucked up.
She's on morphine and fentanyl, so... of course she's "ok" with him being there. She'd be OK with just about anything right now.
At first, we thought it was positive, that he had decided to forgive, put the petty shit aside, etc. He did genuinely seem caring, the way he'd help her move around. He even helped her go into the bathroom and held her up at her most vulnerable. Helped her back to bed. When he kissed her I wanted to throw up. It was such a confusing mess.
As the next day or so went on, we saw, though... he hasn't changed. Not one bit.
She had requested rotisserie chicken for dinner. She wanted us all to have dinner together in the "party room" at the hospice. He was tasked with picking up the chicken. She has her favorite chicken place. He agreed. He shows up with the chicken. It's the wrong chicken. Not the one she wanted. "If I had gone there, I would have to wait 20 minutes for them to cook it. This is fine."
It was not fine. Who knows how many meals this woman has left?! Get her the right fucking chicken!
She asked for water. He gets up and puts a cup under the tap.
MIL: "No, I want bottled water."
FIL: "There's nothing wrong with the tap water."
MIL: "I don't like the taste. The bottled water tastes better."
FIL: "I'm not paying for bottled water."
And then. And THEN. He says, "when was the last time we were all together like this?" No one says a word. Don't do this now, man. He says it again. Louder. "It was over a year ago! Can you believe it?! And whose fault is that?! YOURS." He says to her.
It took every fiber of my being to not leap across that table and bash his head on the ground. Fucking fuck.
This man has ZERO accountability. He told my husband that he thinks the reason she left him is because she was "greedy". She didn't want to share her $20,000. That's THE ONLY reason she left. He was SUCH a good husband, and only her greed could have made her do something so awful. He keeps saying, "money is the root of all evil. Look at what it did to us." He's right about that... but somehow he's still got it so wrong.
He thinks he's the "bigger man" for coming back and "helping her" now. HE'S the hero. HE'S the good guy. HE'S the one who's putting the petty differences aside and swooping in at her hour of need.
I could go on about the delusion.
But to save time... my point is... don't let this happen to you. Don't accept this kind of treatment. Get out. If you're in your 20s (or any age) and your BF is already controlling and talks down to you... GET OUT NOW. It does NOT get BETTER with age.
Take control of your own fucking life. This woman had ONE year. ONE year of peace and happiness. ONE year in her ENTIRE life where she was actually in control of her own destiny. ONE year where she could go where she wanted to go, eat what she wanted to eat, be with who she wanted to be with. And now she's choosing how she's going to die. That's empowering and incredible, but also so fucking heartbreaking.
Go do the things. Take that trip. Learn that language. Hone that craft. Go to that concert (buy the good seats). Jump out of that plane or climb that mountain or whatever the fuck it is that you want to do. GO DO IT. If your partner isn't supportive, kick him the fuck out. Don't spend 60 years with someone who never lets you have the chicken you want. Don't spend 60 years with a liar, a cheater, a gambler, an emotionally stunted fucker.
(And when you have a pain, get it checked out and don't you dare quit until a doctor actually hears you and listens and orders ALL the tests).
There are good men out there (my husband knew his dad was shit and spent his entire life trying to be NOTHING like him. He succeeded). I'm not saying to not partner up, to not get married. I love being married. Men can be absolutely wonderful. But please, for the love of all that is holy, don't settle! Don't settle for shit like this!!
And any men reading this... why? Why are so many of you like my FIL? If you claim that you love her, why do you view her as your adversary? Someone to correct, to control. Someone to order around like a servant. That's not love. If you actually LOVE her... why treat her like this? Why can't she do what she wants to do? Why can't you just buy her the right fucking chicken? Would it kill you? Can you just LISTEN? Can you put yourself in her shoes and try to imagine what she must feel like? Why can't you just be kind? What's WRONG with so many of you?! I will never understand.
That's all. I just... you know. I'm so sad. Fuck.
EDIT: To answer some of your questions... we did ask her, several times, if she wanted him to leave. She said no. She said it was OK. We told her, in no uncertain terms, that whatever she wanted, we would do. Even if she just wanted a break from him, but not to ban him completely. Whatever she wanted. She said she didn't want anything. She was fine. She was at peace with everything, at peace with him. She doesn't want to fight, doesn't want us to fight.
We even told the nurses and the doctor in charge the whole story - that FIL was newly back in the picture, but that for the last year, they hadn't seen each other, and things had been very contentious. FIL was allowed in, FOR NOW, but to please check on her regularly and make sure that she's OK. They agreed to check regularly, kick him out of the room and talk to her independently and make sure she wanted him around, and would take action if she ever said so. They also arranged for a social worker to come and talk to her about it.
About the will... they had not finalized the divorce by the time she got her diagnosis. She was in the process of changing her will, but those changes hadn't been official. They are still technically married, so the money is still technically his. BUT, she transferred a large sum to my BIL and told him who to write checks to. And she told FIL, in front of all of us, who she wanted money to go to. He agreed, in front of all of us, that he wouldn't interfere with her wishes.
Legally, if he wanted to fight that decision, he probably could, but I don't think he'd dare. She specified a sum for my son, and honestly, the only person I think FIL cares about, other than himself, is my son - his only grandchild. I don't THINK he's going to fight the money going to others. He's still getting a decent sum. And the last thing he'd want is to "look bad" so I don't think he'd go back on his word. If he did, that would certainly be the end of it for my husband and his brother.
On that note, my husband and his brother (the only kids) are FURIOUS with their father. They think he is scum and the only reason they aren't physically fighting him is because they don't want to cause their mother any further stress. They can't stand him.
He doesn't deserve a penny, but I can hope that he'll just drop dead soon, before he has a chance to lose it all.
What's so weird is that he REALLY does NOT understand what he did wrong. You know how you can tell when someone's embarrassed but trying to save face? Yeah... that's not him. He's not embarrassed. He genuinely has no idea that he did anything wrong. This is 100% HER fault. SHE is the crazy one who lost her mind and left him (even after HE told HER that they should go their separate ways). She TOLD him WHY she left him... he insisted that no, she's wrong. She REALLY left over something else. I'd call it gaslighting, but he's not that smart. He isn't trying to be manipulative. He is just really that delusional.

Cost monthly:
166 car insurance
100 car maintenance, mods, oil(edit: this is savings planned for when my car breaks down)
134 Car gas, traveling, work(gas is always usually more than i calculate at 90. dont really understand whats going on...)
20 car washes(edit: going to start doing self car washes so gonna be 5 a month now)
15 flat tires
435 for owning a car
Then food
185 Calorie shake(2 1000 calorie shakes a day)
20 water(gallon water jugs)
5 vitamins
45 rotisserie chicken
35 ice(i live in my car so i pay for ice to keep the milk cool for the shake)
80 Random snacks and food
370 for food ( food high cause im bulking up haha)
Subscriptions
63 total
22 Chegg(canceled)
17 Prime(going to cancel)
10 Google photos
14 gym membership(could cancel)
may 2 edit: 21 male in uni. gonna try getting better car insurance plan, trying to save more gas by being more efficient with my driving and getting rides more.. so i could save 370 more if i really really tried.
thanks to everyone who replied. im putting all of my money in some of my investments which i why i want to save so much

As a in-store shopper, i shop others orders to bring to their cars. If I'm not busy, i help other departments of my choosing. I usually help cashiers or the gardening section. I'm a vegan with a nut allergy so i dont do meat or deli but i have helped the dairy crew a few times.
I have decorated cakes before when the nuts are not out. I was doing that and one of the deli people comes over from her department and asks if i can take out the chicken from the rotisserie thing. I told her "I'm sorry but I'm not trained to do that so i can't."
DP: don't worry. It's super easy. I can show you for later.
Me: no thank you. I'm not here to help the deli. I'm here to decorate cakes.
DP: Thats fucking ridiculous. It's the same thing. That's not fair.
Me: I'm not comfortable with it. I'm sorry but I will not be doing that.
DP: oh so you can do it. You just don't want to. That's bullshit! walks away mumbling that's fucking ridiculous. She can- mumbles but is too far now
The reason I'm so against it is, i used to work in a restaurant for 7 years. I went into retail to not do food stuff anymore. If i help in the deli, they will keep putting me back there and pressure me to leave my position to help the deli. They do it with everyone that helps the deli because it's a nightmare in that department. The have to trick people to work back there. The cake department is as far as i go and that's only to help my bestie. If she wasn't asking for my help, i wouldn't back there at all.
Of course this coworker tells the manager... which of course I'm not in trouble. He agrees I'm not trained so i shouldn't handle hot equipment. It is 100% my choice on which department i help. The deli is not entitled to my help.

I recently placed an Instacart order with Costco. A comparison of store item prices and overall shopping trip prices between Instacart and in store is below. Instacart appears to add a fixed 24% markup to most items at Costco, but Instacart also regularly gives large enough discounts to make up for the markup, so net cost was less than half the price with Instacart than in store. I estimate saving ~$45 by using Instacart, in addition to saving ~1 hour of my time.
The specific coupon I used was 50% off an order of $80+. I received 2 of these coupons. I plan to use the other 50% off $80+ at Walmart, which has less of a markup than Costco.
In Store

• Rotisserie Chicken -- 2 x $5 = $10
• Salmon Burger -- $19
• Dixie Bowl -- $13
• Angus Burger -- $16
• Quaker Oats -- $11
• Tax -- $2
• Gas / Wear On Car -- $9 (estimated)

Total = $80 + ~1 Hour of My Time
Instacart

• Rotisserie Chicken -- 2 x $6.21 = $12 (24% markup)
• Salmon Burger -- $23.62 = $24 (24% markup)
• Dixie Bowl -- $16.54 = $17 (27% markup)
• Angus Burger -- $19.89 = $20 (24% markup)
• Quaker Oats -- $13.67 = $14 (24% markup)
• Tax + Fees -- $3
• Instacart Coupon Discount = Negative $40
• Credit Card Discount = Negative $15

Total = $35
​

I don't know if this title was clear, my mind is really all over the place. My sister just got diagnosed with total liver failure and has requested to spend her final few days at home. She lives a very alternative lifestyle of relatively 'of the grid' living and this difference kind of drove us apart over the last decade or so. Her home is VERY rural. The closest amenities are a little over two hours away so I need to plan to get all of my supplies as soon as I land and then drive with all of them the two hours to her house.
I need help. Maybe under normal circumstances I would be able to plan out a week's supply of food to cook, but I am such a mess right now. Help me meal plan please! What groceries should I buy that would feed 3 people for a week or two, can be transported in a rental car unrefrigerated for 2+ hours, and are fairly easy to put together? It doesn't have to be pretty on a plate, just something that an emotional robot can put together. Can meat be out that long? What are some recipes you guys can think of? Thanks in advance.
Edit: Sorry, I should have mentioned that my sister herself isn't eating. She can't swallow anymore. The meals are for me and two of her friends.
Edit 2: Y'all are all wonderful people and have been truly helpful. I couldn't have done this without you. Even though I wasn't able to respond to everyone, I refreshed the comments right before my plane took off so I could read through everything during the flight and make a plan and shopping list. If anyone is interested in how this turned out, I settled on two rotisserie chickens (for tacos, chicken and dumplings, and a cheesey chicken n rice), that perogie thing, packets of tuna and the accoutrements to make tuna salad, oatmeal, and a couple dozen eggs. I got some frozen vegetables that I threw in a cooler with the eggs, milk, cheese, and sausages. I also got some Twinkies. My sister and I used to break them in half, try to scoop out the cream without breaking the cake part, and then shove them on our fingers like we were aliens. Lol, we were such little weirdos. I haven't really thought of this in years, but it's something we can do together one last time. Thank you to everyone for opening up your hearts and recipe books, you have really made a difference in my life.

Hello, I know this isn't a popular opinion on reddit but generally have you guys felt the city getting overcrowded lately?
I was at Costco and holy fuck the line for rotisserie chicken was unlike anything I've seen. It's never been that crowded there in my experience. And this is before all of the new giant apartments are filled. Driving down Hollywood Way at 6 AM is red light after red light after red light because cars are crossing in each direction. And this is before the Fry's building opens.
Do we really want to increase housing density here? I am not convinced it's of benefit to anyone except landlords/developers

Edit
It was the cotton.
Tried a 3rd night with the Revelation, same temps/RH. this time, all wool: t-shirt, long johns, and a long sleeve insulation layer. went to bed uncomfortably warm at 45*, had to pull back the quilt and lose the beanie.
woke up 3.5hrs later likely due to noise (cars etc) but still warm, and a little sweaty. adjusted everything and stayed warm till 6am, thermometer showed ~42* in the tent, weather app shows 36* outside.
The cold I felt "radiating" through the pad was really sweat/moisture due to cotton shirt. Felt none of that.
Adjusted takeaways:

• I may not sleep colder than average after all. The Revelation is far from perfect, but it definitely was not to blame for the first 2 nights. Guessing if I added more insulated clothes (puffy jacket, etc) I could take this thing down to 30*, especially if RH goes down.
• For colder temps, I might prefer a bag over a quilt just due to drafts, even using pad clips. But it might just be a matter of getting used to quilts.
• Still definitely want the large Xtherm MAX. when I turn at night I hate feeling like I'm going to fall off the pad. Don't care if that comes with some penalties.
• Won't need a CCF pad under the Xtherm after all, no heat loss there.
• Per your guys' recommendations, next time I'm at these temps I'm going to add a balaclava. Something about cold on my face was hard to get over. I pulled the quilt partly over my face and that helped a lot, but a balaclava would be ideal.

thanks everyone!
/Edit
New to backpacking and ultralight. Spent 2 nights in my back yard testing out my sleep system:

• Xtherm NXT pad
• EE Revelation 20* quilt on night 1
• Kelty cosmic down 20* mummy bag on night 2
• Xmid1 tent pitched on grass and pine needles under trees

Both nights:

• overnight low was 38-40*
• ~80%RH
• No wind

Clothing:

• fleece lined joggers
• heavy wool socks
• Cotton t-shirt
• Medium cotton hoodie
• Heavy cotton beanie

First night (EE quilt) I woke up at ~4am with some cold spots around my torso. I'm a side/rotisserie sleeper and I think I compressed some of the down in those areas, and I forgot to open the tent vents so ended up with a lot of condensation, which I think killed some loft. Kept adjusting the quilt and straps, but couldn't quite get warm enough so moved inside.
Second night (Kelty mummy) I woke up at ~2:30am with several cold spots around my torso. Same deal with compressing down, except worse b/c less room in the mummy. No condensation thanks to open vents.
For kicks, I went back with the quilt on top of the mummy, stayed warm but not hot. Noticed some heat loss through pad, nothing horrible but noticeable.
Takeaways:

• I must sleep colder than average, because all my research suggests I should be able to get to 38-40* using 20*-rated gear with a 7.4 r-value pad
• Not related to cold, but I need a bigger pad. The regulawide mummy Xtherm didn't leave much margin for me ( 5'11) so I'm upgrading to the large/MAX.
• I need to layer a CCF pad underneath if I go any colder.
• My feet/lower legs weren't cold either night, so those aren't an issue.

Questions:

1. Where do I go from here? These will do fine for late spring/summeearly fall, but I also want a system that can get me down to at least 40*, if not 30-35*. I hear good things about Warbonnet quilts, whose advertised rating is much closer to its comfort rating. So maybe a 20* Warb with draft collar?
2. Anything else I should look at? I was thinking I could add another torso insulation layer, but I'd rather not have to go that route at these temps, since I'm already in a hoodie and it seems like my quilt/bag should be able to handle 40*

Thanks!

I tend to have a lot of bags for all my different part time jobs and hobbies in my car so I just figured the wallet was in one of them. NOPE! But at least this sleepless night has a happy ending, and my wallet was dropped off at my old apartment (forgot to update my license for the past TWO YEARS, it’s fine) by a kind stranger this morning.
I went to three grocery stores because I wanted rotisserie chicken but also cheap coffee. I never got rotisserie chicken 😳
Will my money be in the wallet still? Time will tell 🥲🫣🙏 Picking up this evening after work.

Random thoughts and things I cherish growing up in Tulsa in the 80s and 90s....I grew up near University of Tulsa at 11th and Harvard....46 now and still have these memories....
My first BMX bike was from Otasco.....I think this store was around 3rd street and Lewis....
QuikTrip were little gas stations were I got microwaved bbq baloney sandwich with a pickled jalapeno pepper on the side for like maybe $1? Lamar was their proud mascot. Green Kool Lee was my favorite. Any OG out there remember Git-n-Go? How about U-tote-M? These were other gas stations in the 80s.
Driving by 11th and Utica meant putting the car windows down and smelling freshly baked bread....
11th street was also known as a red light district at night I believe..... though too young to know really....seems like 11th street was THE place to buy new American made cars between Utica and Lewis?..... Not sure when dealership all shifted to south Tulsa.
We mainly shopped at Kmart near Yale and Admiral. Target at 21st and Yale. TG&Y at 3rd and Utica...Warehouse Market for groceries...
I was too young to care about or shop at: Handy Dan near 21 Sheridan? Whitlock Auto Supply next to Casa Bonita. Builders Square, Payless Cashway, Southerlands. Service Merchandise was such a cool and "Hi-Tech" store to shop. RadioShack was another cool place as a kid. Remote control cars was a distant dream for this poor kid.
Southroads Mall was dead at 41st and Yale..... Promenade was where we went and pretty busy on weekends. Eastland Mall had their grand opening and was sooo crowded....and I thought their white circus-like tent roof looked so awesome....we ate at Old Country Buffet there. Was the treat. Woodland Hills Mall was too far for us. My brothers told me Woodland Hills Mall was way out in the middle of nowhere during the early 80s..... pastures.
I heard of but was too poor to ever go to Cherry Street or Brookside....
As a 12 year old....I actually bike from home near TU and took 3rd street to downtown...then downtown to Riverside...along the river path all the way to 91st and Riverside? I then got a leg cramp there and thought I was screwed and couldn't get home. Eventually it got better and I got home around 8pm. Yes my parents had NO idea where I was and too busy to really care honestly. Different parenting style back then maybe.
The brand new Walmart at Admiral and Memorial was larger and sold groceries. That sounded crazy to me. Who buys groceries at Walmart? Mom came home from grand opening sale with a cheap rotisserie chicken. $1.50 or $2? We went to the Walmart on Ffffaaaaarrrrrrr east Admiral that had a crazy RoundAbout. Kmart was closer of course.
Just random thoughts....

I shouldn't have to send this text. But I'm about to. Bromos I am fucking seething. Big kid missed school today because he was coughing so hard he threw up on the floor. Naturally, I assumed that he would also not be going to his after school activity and would spend the day resting. I'm at work and got a voice message from him sounding absolutely miserable saying that his dad made him go out to dinner and sent him out to the car because he was coughing too much. So my sick 9 year old is just sitting alone in the car waiting for him.
How selfish and lazy do you have to be to take a sick kid out to dinner just because you don't want to cook? There's leftovers and an entire rotisserie chicken in the fridge! I may actually kill him.
Before anyone even says anything about it, I am working on leaving. My exit plan fell apart before I could do it so I'm starting over on that part. I don't make enough to just go.

I really cannot stand these customers. I had a lady and her daughter come in today, had three separate transactions. First transaction was some strawberries. Scanned it, then the mother asked if I could add on the coffee creamer. The second order had coffee creamer, a rotissurie chicken and paper towels. I misheard her and added the rotisserie and she gave me some attitude about that. I shrugged it off and then removed it. Checked out her other stuff until it was time to scan some meat.
Mind you, there’s a line of people already. Tell me why she told her daughter to run to get her wallet from the car? Usually when they do that, I temporarily suspend the transaction because it takes a minute for them to come back, and when I have a line of people waiting, I usually just get a temp receipt and check it when they get back.
The mom gets mad and asks for a manager and claimed I was “rushing” her and being rude. I wasn’t being rude at all. Why would you come to the store without your wallet and expect a line of people to wait for you? Some of these customers are so inconsiderate, incompetent and fucking selfish. I hate them and I hate working retail.

My husband and I have quasi-combined finances - he works in IT and I work in health insurance. We both work from home full-time. We have one joint account for kid/household expenses and each have separate checking, savings and retirement accounts. We don’t have access to each others’ personal accounts, but are generally aware of the other’s spending/balances/expenses. I don’t know exact figures for all of his stuff, so I ballpark when I need to.

Section One: Assets and Debt

Retirement Balance: $60,663.69 spread across two 401ks. I got a job with a 401k when I was 25 and pre-kids was pretty aggressive at contributing to it (17% for me + a 4% match from that job). I’m currently contributing 10% pre-tax, I started at 15% but with inflation and having another mouth to feed once my daughter started solids, I’ve bumped it down. It will go back up to 11% in July and once I hit 1 year at my job this spring, my new employer will match up to 5%. I also had 35% of my bonus contributed pre-tax which I kind of regret in the present day but my future self is probably jazzed. My husband has somewhere in the $150-$200k range in his 401k and then some more in a Roth, but I don’t remember how much.
Equity if you're a homeowner: Technically, my husband owns our home - I was pregnant and in grad school when we purchased in 2020, so we didn’t really know where I was headed careeincome-wise. He (we) have roughly $330k in equity in it - we got it for a (relative) steal in 2020 and were able to lock in a 3.5% interest rate. We paid $475,000 and were able to put $200,000 down as a downpayment because we’re very, very privileged. My husband took $50,000 from the sale of his first home and his parents gifted us the other $150,000 - at the time they said it was a loan, but we’ve brought up starting to pay it back and they said it was my husband’s inheritance early. I’m not from a family with the sort of financial assets to do something like this so it makes me feel both weird and lucky.
Savings account balance: $3,406.08 in my personal savings. Husband has roughly $100,000 in his (we know we should have this somewhere smartebetter but…haven’t done it yet cause we’re dumb)
Checking account balance: $776.82 in my personal, $542.14 in our joint. I don’t know my husband’s balance but he usually tries to keep between $2-$4,000 in there.
HSA: $628.76
Credit card debt: $1,895.29 - I use my card for almost everything to get points and lately am pretty good about paying the statement balance to avoid interest charges. I wasn’t always, but I got a new job about 9 months ago that came with a nice pay bump, which has helped. I do 2 payments a month, one from each check, and use my cash back as an additional payment. My husband has no credit card debt, he pays his balance in full each month.
Student loan debt: $47,394; $1,500 is an interest-free private loan from a local community organization, the rest are federal loans
My original total was $57,894.00 ($12,000 interest-free total, $45,894 federal), so that’s depressing since I’ve been making payments for 10 years on an Income-driven plan. However, at its highest, my balance was about $60k so I actually feel somewhat good about this number. I continued paying all through Covid interest rate pauses and grad school when my loans were in deferment, which is the first time I saw meaningful change in my balance. I lived at home for a few years after college, then moved into the house my then-boyfriend-now-husband owned, so not having any housing costs has allowed me to always focus on paying on my loans.
Roughly 40% was for a Bachelor’s in graphic design, the rest was for a Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. I’m not using either degree because I’m an idiot a corporate sellout a mom who chose financial gain + work-life balance over a purposeful and important career. My husband has a Bachelor’s but no student loan debt - he did the financially-smart route of community college then commuting to a local state college and his parents paid for his (much cheaper) degree.
Car loan: $26,632.46 at 3.99%, 42 months remaining; I have some baggage around unreliable cars and unexpected auto expenses, so I leased for most of my adult life because it was worth the reduction in stress. When my lease was up in fall 2023, we wanted to upgrade to a 3-row SUV so we could fit both kids/car seats and our large dog in the car more comfortably. Rates were GARBAGE though and there was no advantage to leasing at all, plus the used inventory was shitty and overpriced so we decided to buy new. We put down $10,000 cash from savings and did a 4-year loan to get the lowest rate possible. This is “my car” but is really the family car. My husband drives a 2008 Jeep that he was gifted when his dad’s friend passed away - there’s no payment on it and it has very low mileage despite its age, so we’ll have it at least until we pay off my car if not longer. Once this car is paid off, we’ll see if we want to trade in the ’08 for something newer.
Personal net-worth: $-1,120.67 (this excludes my husband’s assets, like his savings and our home). I’ve never calculated this before and was excited to see it’s almost neutral/positive! My new job and annual bonus are definitely what pushed me to this spot. I’m sure it was much, much more negative in my late teens and twenties.

Section Two: Income

Income Progression: After college, I worked as a graphic designer for about 5 years, starting at $34,000 and getting up to about $40,000. In 2018, I had a crisis of conscience and decided to go to grad school to become a therapist. I was going to be kicked off my parents’ health insurance and my job offered no benefits, so I decided to switch fields to my current industry “temporarily” so I could WFH during grad school and have grown up things like vision, dental, and a 401k. I found that I LOVED working from home (before it was even so prevalent!) and wow, it turns out that making good money makes life easier and less stressful.
The plan was to leave this field once I graduated in 2021 and become a therapist but…my life and the world changed a lot since I first enrolled. I had my first child 3 months before graduating and the prospect of taking a huge pay cut PLUS having my work-life balance go out the window was unappealing. I still have a few years before the door officially closes on my therapy aspirations but it seems unlikely I’ll change at this point. I grapple with this because I feel a little embarrassed/ashamed/like a bad person/financially dumb for all of this. But, I also have a really nice, comfortable, privileged life that I enjoy so… yeah.
I've been working in my current field for 6 years consistently, plus have an additional 4 years of on-and-off experience as an intern/contract worker. My starting salary in this field was $48,000. I worked at one company for about 5 years before leaving for my current company last spring. When I left my last job, I was making $80,000, so it was a huge pay jump to go to my current position. I honestly never thought I would make this kind of salary. When I was on my second maternity leave, my two work besties told me they were jumping ship to a bigger company with more resources and less drama. Eventually they convinced me to go with them. Things were sounding dire at my old job, so I planned to quit even if I didn’t land the new one. I would either be a SAHM for a bit or pursue therapy or look for something else entirely. I’m glad with how things turned out.
I’ve also taken 2 long (by US standards) partially-paid maternity leaves - one for 4 months, one for 6, both at about 80% of my salary, so my earnings those years were lower. They were both funded by my state and some PTO tacked on, not my job directly. I also owed a lot in taxes those years :(
Main Job Monthly Take Home:
$5414.18 per month after deductions
$1,384.26 in deductions each month:

• $875 to my 401k
• $76.12 for family dental plan
• $423.48 for family medical
• $9.66 for vision for my husband and myself

Bonus: my position has an annual bonus structure of up to 15% depending on company and personal performance. This was paid out to me this month. It was pro-rated since I haven’t been there for a year and came out to just under $8,000, which blew my mind. I had 35% go to my 401k, ~30% went to taxes, and I used the rest to pay off a small but high-interest (6.8%) student loan.
I do not have my husband’s exact take-home, but he makes a little more than me and is on my health insurance, so I’d guess he’s in the $6,500 ballpark.
We have no side gigs or other income streams.
Section Three: Expenses
Mortgage / HOA fees: My husband covers the mortgage, which is about $1,600/month. We have a laughable annual HOA fee of $200, which I pay.
Home + car insurance: we bundle insurance and pay for the whole year to get a 10% discount, it ends up being around $3k. Sometimes we split this, sometimes my husband pays it all. Just depends on my cash flow at the time.
Savings contribution: $400/month to my personal savings
Debt payments: $700 to student loans- $50 to the interest-free, which is the minimum; $650 federal. My husband does not contribute to my student loan payments.
Donations: $20.60/month, half to Educate Girls and half to Carbon 180
Electric: Variable from $225-$400 depending on the month. Woof. I pay this bill.
Propane (heat and hot water): we pre-buy yearly to (hopefully) get the best rate. We do $2,500 annually, which averages to $208 monthly. My husband pays this.
Wifi/Cable/Landline: $104.99 for wifi, my husband pays this. We are cable-less, we have an antenna and get basic channels and steal my in-law’s login to watch some stuff on the interwebs. We steal my mommy’s Netflix.
Cellphone: $33.85 for my line/phone. My husband’s is paid for through his job because he is “on-call” weekends and nights in case there’s an outage or some other issue (which happens a few times a year).
Subscriptions:

• Spotify: $10.99
• NYT: $4 - this is a promo price, I’ll cancel once it goes up
• Email: $6.38 - this is a throwback from when I was a designer and had my own email/web hosting. I cancelled my website hosting but have been too lazy to switch EVERYTHING from my paid email address to a free gmail one. Ugh.
• iCloud: $2.99
• Instacart+: $99/year
• Amazon prime: $139/year
• Substack: $45/year to a chef whose recipes I enjoy

Gym membership: $30/month for my husband’s membership
Monthly cleaning: $120, this includes a deep clean of the bathroom and kitchen, straightening/wipe down of the living room, and the floors on the first floor (vacuuming bedroom/living room, mopping kitchen/dining/foyer). I pay for this.
Pet expenses: ~$150/month. This includes food for 1 dog, 3 cats, litter, and 4 prescriptions for our dog (flea/tick, heart worm, allergy pills, and generic Prozac cause he’s an anxious boy). I pay for this.
Car payment: $684 - we have 60/40 split on this, with me paying more.
Paid hobbies: $150/month for weekly dance classes (2 for just me, 1 for me and the kids) + an additional $3-400/year for costumes. $150/year for a membership and weekly playgroups at our town’s children’s museum.
Preschool: $296 for 2 days of preschool per week for my son. They do not provide food or diapers. We split this from the joint account.
Childcare: we are exceedingly lucky to have family help + flexible jobs, so the preschool days mentioned above are our only childcare expense. We provide lunch to our moms when they help out and a few times a year try to do thank you gifts like massages, theater tickets, a nice dinner, etc.
Trash collection: $65.93 we have to do private trash and recycling pickup because it’s not a service our town offers. We split this from the joint account.
Kids misc. (diapers, clothes, health needs etc): ~$100/month.
Groceries: we average about $800/month for our family of 4. We get takeout 1-4 times a week, all other meals and snacks are eaten at home.

Section Four: Money Diary

Day 1 -
7:00 - I wake up in a good mood - I have 2 young kids (3 years and 1 year) and the entire family has been swapping two different sicknesses around the last 2 weeks. This is the first day where we’re all feeling 100% and it’s supposed to be a beautiful outside. My husband goes to the gym while the kids and I do breakfast and get dressed at home. At 10 am, we head to the local roller skating rink for their toddler skate hours, which my 3yo is very excited about. I have a coupon for $2 off admission because I’m a member of my town’s children’s museum, so this family outing only costs $7. Can’t beat that! ($7)
12 - After skating, my husband takes the baby home to nap and I take our older child with me to run errands. We stop by the post office to mail a bereavement gift to a friend who lost her dog ($6.50) and get gas ($44.42). It’s lunch time but I have more errands I want to do, so I decided my son and I will grab a bite out. We try to get hot dogs from a gas station but they’re out and my son can’t have anything else there because of his food allergies. We head to McDonald’s instead - he gets a happy meal, which he devours, plus 4 more nuggets. I get a QPwC. I cannot believe how much it costs, even with a 20% off code through the app. ($21.41)
My son takes his sweet time eating lunch and my husband asks us to head back so he can do yard work, so I don’t get to finish my errands which annoys me. I love being a mom but it’s hard not being able to just blow around in the breeze like I used to! When we get home, we play outside for a while. Around 3:30 I realize we don’t have a dinner plan, so the kids and I head to the grocery store. We buy sausage and chicken wings for dinner, strawberries, tomatoes, a corned beef that’s on sale for St. Patrick’s Day, Irish soda bread, rye bread and I grab a mini chocolate cream pie for myself ($50.14). We finish off the evening with dinner, watching a movie, and bedtime routines.
Daily total: $129.47
Day 2 -
6:45 - Our Sunday starts early but it’s a nice, slow start to the day. After getting the kids set up with breakfast, my husband heads to the gym. Both kids are kind of cranky, so we spend some time snuggling on the couch watching cartoons while I do some work tasks that take about 30 minutes. I don’t have to work weekends or overtime often, so I don’t mind when I have to do something like this. I make myself some coffee, bacon, and warm up 3 slices of Irish Soda Bread on the skillet with butter - my daughter then steals half of my breakfast. Sigh. She always steals my food but she’s very cute, so I can’t stay mad.
11 - Once my husband is back, I take my son to finish the errands we didn’t get to yesterday. We pick up some free clothes for the kids from my Buy Nothing group, then head to the store. We had a wedding to attend a few weeks ago that my husband needed clothes for, so now I’m returning what he didn’t use. I would have gotten about $75 back on my credit card, but the Marshall’s checkout aisle lures me in with its siren song. I buy 3 types of cleaners I’ve been meaning to replenish (carpet, tile, cooktop), so only $63.29 gets debited back to my account. I also meetup at the police station to sell a barely-used crib mattress and toddler bed to someone from Facebook marketplace, which gets me an additional $60 - the mattress was a gift and I only paid $50 for the bed, so that’s a $10 profit, cha-chiiiiiiing! We head home and the family scrounge’s leftovers from the fridge for lunch - it’s a free-for-all of hot dogs, sausage and peppers, ham sandwiches, and soup. I cook a lot during the week, so I like using weekend lunches to get a bit of a break.
After lunch, I put in some online orders I’ve been meaning to do. I place a Costco order through Instacart for household staples like paper products, frozen chicken nuggets, Greek yogurt, butter, maple syrup, frozen fruit, and add a new dog bed for our dog. I hate the fees Instacart comes with, but Costco is 30 minutes each way plus the hour+ I’d be inside shopping, so it’s an expense that’s worth the time I save every 4-6 weeks, at least at this point while my kids are so young ($361.35). Next, I order some Easter chocolates for my son’s basket. This is the first year he understands holidays and has been asking for chocolate bunnies and chocolate eggs, but he’s got a dairy allergy so I’ve been saying No a lot, which sucks. I learned about a company called No Whey that has allergy-friendly holiday chocolates - I’m excited and grateful products like this exist for my son, even if it comes at a premium price. I order a bunny, eggs, 3 chocolate pops, and a tube of what looks like non-dairy M&M’s ($38.81). Finally, I order my husband’s birthday present, a Galaxy Smartwatch. Now that we’re out of the baby fog, we’re both trying to prioritize our health more and he’s mentioned wanting one in passing, so I hope he likes it. I check the return policy and set a reminder for 1 week before the return window closes in case he doesn’t. The watch is on sale and I buy from a site that has 10% cash back with Rakuten, so I save about $70 ($327.24). Sadly, this online shopping has really offset the $10 profit I made earlier.
2 - I spend the rest of the afternoon doing chores like laundry, dishes, and picking up. I also spend some downtime reading my book. I’m almost done with Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow and it’s making me heartsick the way only a good book can.
6 - We meet my father-in-law out for dinner at a local Italian restaurant for dinner - he pays, which isn’t unexpected but is still a nice treat. We get home and do all of the bed time things before going to sleep ourselves around 9:30.
Daily total: $727.40
Day 3 -
6:45 - Ugh. The work week. Today’s going to be hectic so I’m not looking forward to it. My mother-in-law usually watches the kids Mondays but she’s on vacation, which means we’ll be balancing childcare and work today. Thankfully, it’s the quiet season for my job, so I was able to front load some work last week so I have flexibility today. I wake up before the kids and log on to get some tasks done. Once they’re up, I give them a breakfast of frozen waffles and yogurt and throw together a crockpot for dinner. I use the corned beef I bought yesterday, along with some potatoes and carrots I already had and I’ll serve it all with the rye bread. I make myself a quick breakfast of bacon and Irish soda bread and get my 3yo out the door for a dentist appointment. I wanted my husband to take him, but he had some work thing come up, blah. Sometimes I leave medical appointments feeling like a bad mom because of whatever health reminders we get that I know we’re slacking on, like flossing or dropping the baby’s pacifier. The appointment goes well though and I only have a small copay that I use my HSA card for ($4).
11 - When I get back, the baby is down for a nap and my husband seems really stressed about the work thing, so I resign myself to being the point person for the kids today. I set my son up with a snack and get some work done quickly before getting lunch heated up for everyone. We have the leftovers from the restaurant last night, supplemented with a side salad I throw together. I have 2 important meetings after lunch, so I send both kids to my husband’s office. They’ll be getting more screen time than we’d like today but it is what it is. The afternoon flies by in a blur of emails-snacks-meetings-diapers-baby nap time #2. My last meeting of the day is a long company-wide town hall, so I can listen in without needing to participate. I decide to log in on my phone so I can put laundry away and play outside with my 3 year old while his sister naps. It’s a little chilly but the fresh air feels nice and we spend over an hour out there while the corporate big wigs talk about numbers and engagement surveys and benefit fairs and things like being a family or whatever.
4 - I’m so glad dinner’s already done so I can focus on other things, like playing with the kids and picking up a little. Some days, I feel like spend all of my time feeding everyone, picking up toys, and running the dishwasher. I wanted to get a workout in today, but my husband’s work thing is still ongoing at 6:30 PM, so I just do some squats, kicks and jumps in the bathroom while the kids take a bath. My husband’s work thing keeps him working till very late, so we don’t get our usual “chill on the couch and watch tv” time. I decide to use the evening to get the house in order instead, even though I’m tired. My spidey senses are telling me we might be in for a long week, so having the house tidy will at least make one thing easier. By the time I go to bed, every room downstairs is picked up enough to run our robot vacuum/mop, trash and recycling are empty, dishwasher is unloaded and reloaded, and the kitchen has been wiped down. I feel like I “did it all” today!
Daily total: $4
Day 4-
7 - I don’t know what time my husband was done with work, but it was late so I took the baby monitor on my side of the bed even though it was his night. I have enough time to feed the cats, give the dog his medicine, and prep my daughter’s breakfast before she wakes up. I sit with her while she eats. My son is supposed to have preschool today, but they’re unexpectedly closed because a staff member passed away. I didn’t know her because she’s in a different classroom but I love the preschool and she’s left a family behind. It’s got me feeling sad. Thankfully, my mom is able to help with the kids today, so I google some toddler activities happening so I can give her ideas to get them out of the house. I donate to the GoFundMe for the preschool teacher’s family and remember I also need to buy some raffle calendars to support the Children’s Museum spring fundraiser, so I do that, too ($88.50). I get the kids ready for the day and once my mom gets here, I logon to work around 9.
12 - I was tunnel-vision on a tedious work task I inherited when we let someone go when I hear everyone return home, which means it’s lunchtime! Usually, we have whatever we ate for dinner the night before but there aren’t enough leftovers for everyone so I whip up some chicken quesadillas using a rotisserie chicken from a few days ago that was on its last legs. I serve it with a salad kit for an easy side. I also use my lunch break to call about a medical bill I received that wasn’t sent through my insurance first. This happens ALL. THE. TIME. so I always carefully examine my medical bills and EOBs instead of just blindly paying them. I hardly used my health insurance in my 20’s, but between 2 pregnancies/births and all the visits young children have, I’ve spent so much time on the phone with our insurance or providers about billing in the last 5 years. It’s a pain, but it’s “saved” us thousands of dollars that I’m sure some other people would just spend without questioning. I’m lucky to have the time, energy, resources, and ability to navigate these types of systems. It shouldn’t be this complicated!
2:30 - it’s time to put my son down for his nap (assuming he deigns to take one)… and he does!! Yay! The baby will take her second nap around 3, so I send my mom home for the day. Now back to work.
4:30 - both kids take great afternoon naps and I was able to bang out the rest of what I wanted to do for work and then some, so I sign off when they wake up. I start prepping dinner, which will be air fried chicken leg quarters I had in the freezer, mashed potatoes, and a sauce that has bacon, sweet potato, and mushrooms. Chicken leg quarters have been my favorite cut of meat lately because the thighs are the perfect size for the adults and the drums are the perfect size for the kids. It takes a little more time because there’s some butchering involved, but I get 8 portions from a package that only cost me $7.34, so it’s worth it.
8 - we’ve finally wrapped up the various weeknight responsibilities and it’s time to relax! We watch the first episode of Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story, then head in for some reading and bed time around 9.
Daily total: $88.50
Day 5 -
7:30 - I slept like absolute garbage and wake up feeling more tired than when I went to bed. I can also feel a headache brewing. We’re without childcare again today, so I should have signed on early to get some work done but I lounge in bed instead. Since it’s the off-season, I don’t have any pressing deadlines right now anyway - just self-imposed ones that can be flexible if needed. I finally roll out of bed around 8:15 and make myself coffee + a bagel. The kids get yogurt, fruit, and French toast sticks. I get my son out the door juuuuuuust on time for his speech therapy appointment. He used to receive his therapy in our home which was GREAT, but now he has to go to the local elementary school. Most weeks my mom or MIL take him, but they’re not available this week. I use the 30 minutes he’s in his visit to research a work thing my boss asked me about, so the time is well-spent.
12:30 - When we got home from speech, the baby is napping, so I pass my son off to my husband. When we don’t have help with the kids, we try to stagger our work so we each get a few hours to focus on work and will do some in the evening as needed. I hit a natural stopping point in my task so I serve lunch, which is leftovers of the chicken + potatoes + sauce from last night. I have the kids for most of the afternoon, so I don’t get as much work done as I’d like and I snap at my husband about it. In hindsight, I know the stress was from a culmination of our regular childcare routine being thrown off and my being tired/cranky from the poor sleep so I apologize later.
4:15 - Wednesday means it’s dance night, which is both my most and least favorite night of the week. I do a Mommy & Me class with the kids, chauffeur then home, scarf down a quick dinner (leftover corned beef, potatoes, carrots and rye bread), and then back to the studio to take classes myself from 6:30-9ish. It’s exhausting and at times it’s been hard to budget for, but it’s also so important to me, especially since becoming a mom. I love that it’s guaranteed time to disconnect and where I’m not someone’s mom or employee or wife - I’m just me, doing something for myself. The first six months of motherhood were really lonely and isolating for a myriad of reasons - new identity, sleep deprivation, hormones, Covid - and getting back to my dance family made me feel like a human again. I paid for lessons last week but when I get there, I’m reminded that I haven’t paid for the overnight NYC trip the studio is taking next month. I use the $60 cash I got from selling the bed and mattress on Sunday and write a check for the rest ($280).
9:15 - finally released and on my way home! I DESPERATELY want to hit up the McDonald’s drive through for some fries like I do most weeks, but I resist. I am so strong and so brave.
Daily total: $280
Day 6 -
8:15 - slept in today because I slept like shit again, this time because my daughter woke at 11p and 5a. Frankly, it’s rude she did this on my monitor night and not her dad’s. I want to stay in bed longer but have to get my son ready for preschool. I don’t know how I would have survived these last 3 years of unpredictable sleep if I had to go into an office. Getting to sleep till 8 or take a nap on my lunch break as needed has probably saved my life! Husband’s on drop off duty so I make a coffee and a bagel for me and the little lady to share and get logged in to work. My husband gets back around 9:30 and then puts our daughter down for her first nap.
12:30 - I had no meetings this morning, so I was able to knock out everything I hoped to do yesterday and then some, yay! The morning flew by and it’s suddenly lunch time. I throw together some peanut butter sandwiches for us and send some emails from my laptop while my daughter and I eat. I left the table for 32 seconds to fill my water bottle and my dog sniped my sandwich!! Honestly, there is no respect in this house. I have to make a second one, aka he’s blown our PB&J budget out of the water with his gluttony. After lunch, I have a 1-on-1 with my boss and it goes really well. My stress about my work performance yesterday was unfounded because she’s happy with my turnaround times and how I’ve handled the extra work I’ve taken on lately. I feel better about work stuff.
3:30 - my husband picked our son up from school and he hangs with me in my office for a bit before I put his sister down for her second nap. I kind of feel like I might be getting sick - I can’t tell if I’m just run down from poor sleep or if a cold is brewing and my headache is back. I decide to try and lay down with him between meetings in hopes he’ll nap and I’ll get a little rest. He doesn’t nap but I feel a little more energized after laying down for 30 minutes and taking ibuprofen. Now I can power through a few more tasks and one more meeting before calling it quits for today!
5:15 - my last meeting of the day ran over a little - GROSS! Thankfully, it’s the best night of the week, Takeout Thursday (ToT as we call it around here) for the parents. My son says he wants mac & cheese and chicken nuggets; I can’t stomach the price of a box of dairy-free m&c, so I make the sauce myself whenever he requests it. I’m positively delighted to find I have a little container of it in the freezer, so getting dinner on the table for the kids is a breeze. My husband is trying to avoid fried foods because of a 75 Soft challenge he’s doing, so makes himself eggs, avocado toast, and bacon. Left to my own devices, I decide to get KFC ($13.36). I haven’t had much of an appetite this week, so I don’t finish it all.
8 - after dinner, we have playtime/snuggle on the couch and chill time. I realize we’re almost out of diapers, so I place an Amazon order for more before heading into the bedroom around 9 ($55.94). I’m 94% done with my book according to my kindle and I really hope I can finish it tonight!
Daily total: $69.30
Day 7 -
7:15 - finally Friday! I had trouble falling asleep last night so I took some melatonin/chamomile gummies and got a pretty good night’s rest finally. When I wake up, I’m sleep-trapped by my 3yo, so I browse my phone and start looking at this week’s grocery sales and coupons. I load a few to my account and start casually making a meal plan in my head. My husband got up with our 1yo and texted me to say he thinks she’s sick, which enhances my suspicions that I’m unwell, too. It was a blissful 7 days where we were all healthy, but here we go again 😩 I sneak out of bed around 7:45 so my husband can go to the gym. I pick up the living room a bit while my coffee brews and my daughter plays. You’d never know I spent most of Monday evening cleaning this place by the looks of it. I guess that’s what a week of living in a house will do. My son wakes around 8, so I get all 3 of us dressed and ready for the day. I throw a waffle into the toaster for my son and hash brown into the air fryer for myself, then think about how my girly goo steals my breakfast all the time and add another hash brown. I’ll top it with eggs scrambled with spinach and cheese. I log in on my work laptop around 8:45 while we eat breakfast.
11 - The baby goes down for a nap and I take my son to his weekly playgroup. This is supposed to be my husband’s thing, but another work thing has come up. I would normally just have him skip, but he’s missed the last few weeks and with our schedule all thrown off this week, I want to get him out of the house. While I’m there, I chip in for our group’s fundraiser raffle basket using cash I nabbed from my husband’s wallet - one of the most obvious generational differences with our 10 year age gap is that he ALWAYS has cash and I never do ($10). Thankfully, he’s a good sharer. We have to leave playgroup early so I can log in to a standing noon meeting. My team is in all different time zones, so I end up having 2-3 lunchtime calls a week which I hate. I eat my leftover KFC during the call.
4 - my husband took the lead on the kids all afternoon so I could button this week’s work tasks up. While I’ve been working, I start to feel like I’m crashing and think maybe I am getting sick after all? I try to nap with my son again but get pulled into another work task, so I just make tea with honey and vow to take it easy this weekend. I check my personal email and see that our electric bill has been charged for this month ($326.33). I was hoping to grocery shop this afternoon but I’m too tired and haven’t finished my list, so it will have to wait until tomorrow.
7 - Dinner is done, showers have been showered and it’s finally time to relax into the weekend! A few weeks ago, we inacted Dad Does Dinner Fridays (#DDDF) where my husband has to plan, shop for, and cook dinner from A-Z with no input from or questions to me allowed. It’s glorious. This week, he pandered to the children by choosing hot dogs and home fries after they rejected his previous picks of burgers and steak. We end the night by watching the new Roadhouse, which we both find surprisingly funny. I snack on some chocolate chip cookies and trü frü chocolate covered strawberries that had been kicking around the freezer. I finished my book last night and will start The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes tonight. It’s been a long week and I’m happy to have the next two days to chill a bit!
Daily total: $336.33
Weekly total: $1,635
Breakdown:

• Food + Drink: $485.07 (I included the Costco order in here but some of it was also for Home + health)
• Fun / Entertainment: $287
• Home + Health: $386.27
• Clothes + Beauty: $0
• Transport: $44.42
• Other: $432.24 in gifts/donations

Reflection: This was an expensive week for me! My husband’s birthday gift and paying for the NYC trip were outliers (and pricey ones at that). The other things I spent on are more inline with my typical spending habits. I know I could also slim down our grocery budget but I really enjoy cooking and food matters to me, so it’s an area I’m always more willing to splurge on. I was a little discouraged looking at my student loan balance in comparison to where I started - before kids, I was always so aggressive about making extra payments, but I lost the wind in my sails after $20k forgiveness was dangled in front of me and then snatched away. At this rate, I have about 8 more years of paying which feels both like an eternity and like nothing. Finally, this whole exercise just reinforced what I already know: I have been incredibly fortunate to be the benefactor of my in-laws’ financial well-being. From my husband’s lack of debt, to his ability to buy and sell 2 homes with large down payments/low rates and more. And while my parents haven’t been in a position to support me financially, they’ve helped in other ways (letting me live at home, helping with childcare so we avoid daycare costs). I grew up in a Just-Enough family, so the kind of financial security we have is surprising to me and I’m grateful for it.

TIFU… There I was, just got home from work on a Friday. Ready for the weekend. Getting ready to mix up a nice 70/30 drink and work on the boat with the oldest crotch goblin in this wild pack of a family. Wife comes home with groceries and whips out a rotisserie chicken and I tear into it like a wild Ethiopian child. Get halfway thru the chicken and she tells me that where she got it was the first of 3 places she had stopped, and it had been in the car for about 3 hours… right after she said that I felt my stomach started to tingle. And now I can’t stop peeing out’ve my butt…
TLDR; apparently you’re not supposed to eat cold greasy precooked chicken? I’m not sure. But I can tell you one thing, I’m not eating a rotisserie chicken from Sam’s club ever again.

When my friend Bryan died last year, I really had a hard time processing it. We hadn't spoke or seen each other in years, but god damn, we loved the shit out of each other at one point and I used to spend almost every day with him. As we got older and grew up, life happened, and we grew apart, but every once in a while we'd run into each other somewhere- and that love would be exactly where we left it.
When I went to Bryan's funeral, I didn't speak. I will always regret that. I didn't speak because there was already so much grief, so much loss, and that day just wasn't about me. Our memories, our love, we knew they existed. I didn't need to tell a room of people. But really, I didn't speak because I was scared. Because I felt guilty. Guilty that I hadn't picked up the phone and talked to him in years. Now that he's gone, who am I to stand up in front of his family and talk about how much I love and will miss him? I felt like a bad friend. Like I didnt deserve to share our story.
It's been almost a year now and I realize now that had I spoken, I would've given everyone in that room a piece of Bryan that they didn't have. They all shared their pieces with me, and I kept my pieces to myself. So, I'd like to share those pieces now, to anyone who will listen. Id like to say what I would've said if I stood up and spoke that day. I'd like to tell you all about my very good friend, Bryan.
Bryan and I met when I was 15 and kicked out of my mom's house. I was living with friends who took me in, and every weekend we had a big party. One of those nights, Bryan was there. We immediately hit it off. We hung out all night, talked about and sang Keith Sweat, he was impressed that I knew that kind of music and we laughed and laughed and laughed that entire night. Our humor was the exact same. I knew I found a best friend that night. It was instant. We spent that night going to all kinds of different parties, and we ended that night pretty drunk, at a Safeway, where he stole an entire rotisserie chicken, and we ate it with our bare hands in the backseat of the car we were in. He wouldn't share with anyone else. They all asked. But he shared with me. So there we were, two drunk assholes, eating a chicken with our bare hands, laughing about the night and on our way back to my house.
Bryan needed a place to crash that night- he was like me at that time, he didn't really have anywhere to go. I told him I didn't have much but I had an air mattress and he could totally come crash with me if needed. We shared that air mattress for weeks. No funny shit either. It wasn't like that with us. Bryan never ever tried to make any kind of a move on me. It's like we were family. From day 1 we looked out for each other. One night, I got so drunk I legitimately think I may have gotten alcohol poisoning. I went upstairs to lay down. Bryan checked on me all night. One of the times he checked on me, he brought me an entire pot of food that he cooked for me. What you gotta realize here is that Bryan and I were dead broke. We didn't have shit. He was staying with me, who was staying with my friends. Food was not a luxury we had unlimited access to. I was allowed to eat the food in that house, and so was he, but it wasn't like, we had a lot. And we weren't the ones buying it, you know? So we ate pretty sparingly. But that night, he cooked the entire fucking box of hamburger helper for me so I could have a real meal. And he brought that shit upstairs, still in the pot and all, and was like "miles wake up I have a surprise for you." I leaned over the bed and ate it straight out of the pot with a spoon while he HELD THE POT FOR ME. When I was done, he made sure I was good, tucked me into bed, and told me he'd come back in a few hours to check on me.
Y'all. Bryan was pure. Just straight up pure. He looked out for me so hard. There's nothing he wouldn't do for me and that's just one example of so many where he was there for me, no questions asked. We spent every night and day together for months. I will always cherish those times and memories with him.
When we moved out of that house, we had to go separate ways, but we'd still hangout when we could and I knew I could always find him at the skatepark. Eventually we stopped hanging as much but it didn't matter, the love never died. At 18, we were reunited. I met someone, and turns out, Bryan was their roommate! So there we were again, hanging out every single day and night. This time, I had my own car. I had an apartment. A job. I had shit. We both had shit. And man, the way we were so proud of each other. It was awesome.
During this time, we raced and drifted cars together, smoked a ton of weed together, went on mountain adventures together, played guitar together, went on Denver trips together- everything man. It's like nothing changed, we were just older and our lives were more put together. Eventually, Bryan moved out of that house, and so did the person I was seeing, so we didn't see Bryan a ton after that but from time to time we'd all get together. Then, me and the person I was seeing moved to Denver, and we saw Bryan once while he was up there too. That night, he showed me the new Dance Gavin Dance album and we nerded out so hard to it. My partner was so annoyed and we didn't care one bit. The album was just so good. He's the only person I knew who loved DGD as much as I do. Who appreciated their eras, their sound, their history. Bryan and I were always talking music with each other. It was the root of our friendship.
After that Denver trip, i didn't see Bryan again for years. I think I was 23 or 24 the next time I saw him. We ran into each other outside of a music venue. The way we absolutely lit up when we saw each other was so wholesome. It was like no time had passed. We hugged and we laughed and we updated each other on our lives. I told him I was interested in someone he knew and he told "no. You're too good for them do not do it." And I listened. Bryan was never a blind supporter- he was never afraid to tell me what I needed to hear. And he always, always believed in me. We said our goodbyes that night, and unfortunately, that was the last time we'd ever see each other.
4 years later, I found out Bryan passed away on his motorcycle. I will never run into him again, I will never get to hug him again and share stories with him, I'll never get to see his face full of excitement from seeing me- ever again. It truly makes me so fucking sad to think about. But god, I was so lucky to have a friend like him. A true, genuine, friend, who loved me like his own blood no matter the time or distance. All because we met as 2 idiot kids that we're both "strays" in this world and decided we'd take care of each other despite not having really anything to offer.
Bryan, I miss you man. I love you very much. I'm sorry I didn't share our stories at your funeral, and tell everyone about your kindness and loyalty.
I will never not miss you and I truly hope our energy bumps into one another whenever I cross over to the other side, too.
Thank you for existing and sharing any part of your life with me. Some of my best memories are with you. You knew the real me. You saw the real me from day 1. Thank you for everything.