Hi ! I've put around 9 hours in Fez for now and I'm loving it. I love trying to understand what the game want from me but I feel a bit stuck right now. I'd be very happy if someone could give me some advice, nothing too revealing please, I still want to understand the game by myself. This is where I am :

• I've reach the first ending and obtained the first person mode and also the flying cheat.
• I have 32 cubes and 13 anticubes.
• I have the red artifact (reading ?) the green artifact (calculus ?) and the book artifact.
• I have all the treasure maps.
• I understood the language with the tetrominos where you have to input buttons to unlock stuff.
• I lowered the water level.
• I think I explored almost the entirety of the map, except for some areas behind codes I don't understand and the 64 cubes locked door.

I have no idea what to do with :

• The U shape pillars, I think they emit a sound, or a vibration, but I don't know what to do with it.
• The pillars with a hole on top and a little cube inside. I have 0 idea about those.
• The Telescope. It shows something at night but what can I do with this information ?
• The Bell.
• The big black spinning thing
• The room with all the doors and the treasure maps. I think I need to understand how to read numbers.

What I'd like to understand the most is how to read and how to do calculations. I tried to understand so hard by myself but I don't have any idea how to translate those weird squares into letters. I also know I need to understand how to calculate using the board in the school of the broken city but I don't get it.
Maybe just tell me where I can find the most useful info on how to understand those two concepts ?
Is there some bruteforce I need to do somewhere in order to better understand something ?
Thanks a lot for your help !

I’m writing this now because of an encounter I had a few hours ago that left me feeling shaken, paranoid, and frustrated with this whole pattern thats been going on for a year. So sorry if it is confusing, I have not been able to sleep for the rest of the night because of this. For some background information, I am extremely aware of my body due to chronic illness and have always had unexplainable encounters since I was young, but I have never been afraid of them quite like I am now.
About a year ago, I started to have immense struggles sleeping and paranoia because of an extremely strong presence I felt in my room. I cannot describe it as anything other than a presence that brings me lots of anxiety and a feeling of being watched. It is stationary in the top corner of my room where I spend most of my day working on artwork and school and maintaining my fish tanks, however, it is most active at night, and that is where my biggest problem with it stems. It does not look away from me, change positions, or interact with me in any way. However, I am currently refusing to acknowledge it because i have this sinking feeling that something bad will happen to me when I do. It does not feel evil per say, but it feels like it is amused by my refusal to acknowledge it and the amount of anxiety it brings me has made me physically ill before. I am not anxious person.
There is another presence that accompanies this one, but it feels like an entirely separate entity. I feel nothing from it. I have a dresser with a mirror that faces my bed, but the mirror cannot see me when I am sleeping because the bed is way too low, and this presence stands between my bed and my dresser. It feels like a physical barrier, solid, and if I could describe it as anything else when I wake up - it would be like I am looking at a torso because it towers over me. The reason I say this accompanies the other presence is because they are always with me at the same time, the only difference being that the one in my ceiling corner is a constant presence when its there, and the other one I discover at random intervals. I sense this one because I randomly wake up with the feeling that something is in front of me. Like when you wander around in the dark and instinctively know theres a wall in front of you.
Both of these entities have grace periods where they don’t bother me as much for a month or two. However, the one that watches me ebbs and flows in this grace period. Rather than as a strong, anxiety-inducing presence that frightens me, I will feel jolts of feeling like I’m being watched throughout any time during the day that I am in my room (from where it stays, so I know it is that specific presence).
This brings me to my most recent encounter with something entirely new. I instinctively woke up to a weird feeling in my stomach. It wasn’t the same feeling as sensing the wall, or being watched, but a weird feeling that told my body to wake up and look. It was so human and solid that for the first few seconds, I genuinely thought that one of my family members was in my room, even though I already knew the stature of this person was not like any of them. It was only slightly taller than my chair, maybe a foot shorter than me, and I was immediately hit with a similar feeling like to the one that watches me. If I move, if it knows I know its there, something bad will happen. This was more like.. accusatory? Like I really, really did not want it to see me.
It started off crouched in the same corner as the thing that watches me, but not a creepy crouch, like it was picking up something from under my desk. (I have a stuffed animal, art supplies, and gifts for my friends I’m making stored under there). It stood up and I couldn’t see anything in its hands, or really its hands at all, and it walked around my chair. It got a few inches past my chair before it suddenly stopped and disappeared entirely. This was the first time I have ever witnessed something so physical that I thought someone was genuinely in my room, or felt like I could physically be hurt by it. I was frozen. (Not paralysis, i was just super scared).
It never acknowledged me, but I had turned on my LEDs after it left and could not sleep for another ten minutes because I had a horrific feeling that it kept showing up again and I had to keep checking. I genuinely couldn’t process if there was an intruder in my house and they just hid. Thats how real they felt and looked. I turned my lights back off after I calmed myself down and forced myself to try and sleep, but ended up just watching videos on my phone.
An hour later, my LEDS flashed on and pulsed while I was talking to my friend about what just happened to me. I promptly turned them back off and refused to say anything else.
It is important to note that this was during a grace period where the two presences I normally have were not present and a week after I got a text from my mom about her hearing me right next to her calling for help. I heard it too, but I was in the bath, and I thought it was the TV (which apparently wasn’t on).
Please offer any advice or theories you guys have as to why this is happening to me. I just want to sleep. I also can’t reach my mirror to cover it because its kind of tall and it would knock over all my earrings.**

Hello friends, I am an 18-year-old League of Legends player. And I want to tell you an interesting experience, I'll tell you all in advance. I wish you a good reading. Surprisingly, one of the days One day while playing League of Legends again I alt-tabbed to change the song I opened on Spotify. But when I throw it, what do I see? In the Spotify commercial, I saw that the world's most famous cola company had released a new cola for League of Legends. literally shock I was like dead, the fat-clogged veins of my heart were beating loudly with excitement. My eyes are wide open It was opened. A new Lol coke. This was literally a new LoL coke. It sounded amazing, I've been waiting for this moment for years. I was born for this. I immediately started researching, tapping my greasy fingers on the keyboard. How does it taste? My questions such as where to sell, how to reach I answered. Unfortunately, it didn't give RP like it used to, but since I'm a Lillia main, I still had to buy this LoL-specific cola, even though it didn't give anything. I learned the place and time it was sold and prepared a plan. I was going to buy it from Walmart near my house and drink it. The plan was quite difficult; Very difficult steps such as stepping outside, walking and even communicating with the cashier It was hosting. But I had to. I set off immediately. As soon as I opened the door and went out, the sun It penetrated my skin and made a "ciss" sound. It's been years since I last went out for a Lol Coke. I had no problem with Sunshine. Oxygen felt quite strange. After a few difficult steps Finally I arrived at Migros. You go inside, avoid eye contact with everyone, and grab the cold drinks cabinet at the top. on it, I saw it. It was there... It was shining with gold, it was very majestic. my eyes It was dazzlingly beautiful. As soon as I hold it in my hand, I was the happiest person in the world now. As soon as I bought it, I ran to the cash register, I had the coke in one hand and the money in the other. I gave the money to the cashier, who easily took it through the cash register and gave it to me, and I quickly ran without taking my change. I started. This much social interaction is very hard on my body. It was too much. But it was worth it. I was at the exit now, with a LoL cola in my hand. I succeeded. I raised my hands and shouted: I did it! I DID IT! But then my social anxiety took over and I started shaking. When I stopped shaking, I opened the coke. Even her ccooosss voice was so beautiful, so charming. my mouth I placed it on the opening and started drinking. gulp first sip. But something was abnormal, it wasn't exactly a foreign taste to me. Gulp, second sip, I knew this taste, I could imagine it. gulp third sip. With every sip I take, in my brain Another missing piece of the puzzle fell into place. And before I was halfway through the box, my mind The puzzle was completed. It tasted exactly like the toes of Lillia's right hind hoof. That hairy, noble leg of his, hard, but beautiful hoof that softens as I split it with my tongue... The moment I realized this, my eyes started to spin. It's easy after a while! I realized that I stopped drinking and preferred coke. I was going crazy. As if he was licking Lillia's asshole, her face red with embarrassment, and her tail It was like she was caressing my face. When you say "don't do it, stop", you mean it She was whispering "fuck me all the way to my intestines" as if to my ear. I was becoming an unchained slave to my own passion, my libido. Lillia to fuck loudly My deep desire to be was overtaking my perception of reality. 100% of my brain was working to fuck this side gazelle creature. These thoughts slowly It took over my entire brain and I literally went crazy. Foaming from my mouth She was squirting, my eyes were seeing Lillia's gazelle pussy everywhere. Half cola in the box I stopped thrusting my tongue and forced my dick into the drink hole. Ahahaha! He was covered in blood, but the pleasure I felt was indescribable. As if I had no tomorrow I started to fuck the box. all over my dick It was peeling, my blood covered the entire outside of the box; Some of it had leaked in and mixed with the cola in the box. I could hear Lillia in my ear. She was neighing, "fuck me like there's no tomorrow, "Tear my ass to pieces, my love," he was moaning. I accelerated to satisfy my wife, your moans gigliks took their place. It was the best feeling in the world, I held his hind legs and wrapped his tail around my hand. She was rocking while he fucked her tight asshole In my dream world, She was screaming that I was her daddy. I ejaculated. When I spilled my sperm, which was a sign of my love for Lillia, into the box filled with coke and my blood, I was under the influence of the legendary pressure. The box exploded in my hand. And this love liquid inside was scattered all over the sky. It was pouring like rain. This blessed rain, which for some is the symbol of my lost sanity and for some is the symbol of my epic love for Lillia, is with me and everything around me. He was blessing humanity with his abundance. A lot, but a lot It was beautiful. I found absolute peace at that very moment. Until the day I die, from the real gazelle's pussy. I won't fuck anything else, Lillia. I promise you my love, I love you...

Writer's Block? Befriend the Blank Page: How to Turn Creative Stagnation into a Goldmine

Ah, writer's block. That looming specter that haunts every wordsmith, from the wide-eyed newbie to the grizzled veteran. But fear not, fellow wordslingers! For even in the face of this dreaded foe, opportunity lurks. Yes, you heard that right. Writer's block, that seemingly insurmountable obstacle, can be your secret weapon, a springboard to unleashing your most creative work yet. Let's delve into the minds of seasoned scribes and discover how they turn their blank pages into bestselling goldmines.
Embrace the Block:
First things first, ditch the self-flagellation. Writer's block is normal, even expected. It's a sign you're pushing boundaries, exploring uncharted territory. So, instead of panicking, befriend the block. See it as a pause, a chance to step back and reassess. As Jodi Picoult wisely says, "Writer's block is a wonderful time to catch up on your reading." Immerse yourself in other authors' work, let their voices spark your own. Remember, inspiration can strike from anywhere, so keep your eyes and ears open to the world around you.
Befriend the Unconventional:
Now, let's get down to the nitty-gritty. Forget the usual "go for a walk" or "stare at a tree" advice. We're talking about weapons-grade creativity here. Here are some battle-tested techniques from the pros:

• Automatic Writing: Channel your inner James Joyce with a stream-of-consciousness freewrite. Set a timer, ignore grammar, and let your subconscious take the wheel. You might be surprised by the hidden gems you unearth. Bonus: Do it in public for maximum awkwardness-induced inspiration.
  
• The One-Sentence Challenge: Craft a single sentence that encapsulates the essence of your story. Then, spend the next hour fleshing it out, exploring every possible avenue. This tightens your focus and forces you to think outside the box.
  
• The What-If Flip: Take a familiar trope and flip it on its head. Think Romeo and Juliet as zombies, or a superhero origin story where the hero is actually the villain. This forces you to break free from cliches and explore new possibilities.
  
• The Sensory Safari: Describe a scene using only one sense. For example, write a scene solely through the sounds your protagonist hears, or the textures they touch. This jumpstarts your imagination and forces you to paint a vivid picture with limited tools.
  
• The Random Object Prompt: Pick a random object (spork, stapler, rubber ducky, anything!) and write a story centered around it. This forces you to think creatively and find connections where you least expect them.
  

Embrace the Insane:
Now, let's unleash the real wild cards. Here are some downright insane prompts that might just spark your next bestseller:

• Write a love letter from a houseplant to its owner.
• Craft a news report from the perspective of a goldfish.
• Compose a grocery list that doubles as a murder mystery.
• Write a children's book about the existential dread of adulthood.
• Pen a sonnet from the point of view of a rogue punctuation mark.

Remember, the key is to embrace the absurd. Don't be afraid to be silly, outrageous, even downright nonsensical. Sometimes, the most unexpected ideas lead to the most brilliant work.
Final Words:
Writer's block is not a dead end, but a detour. By using these unconventional techniques and embracing the insane, you can turn it into a springboard for your most creative work yet. So, the next time you face the blank page, don't despair. Befriend the block, unleash your inner weirdo, and watch your imagination take flight. Remember, the greatest stories often begin with a touch of madness. Now, go forth and write something truly magnificent, even if it involves a spork-wielding goldfish detective. The world awaits your words!

To clarify, I now know that there are different definitions of the word “ship”, but for the purposes of this article and to keep things simple I will use the definition of “a relationship that’s rushed and/or forced with no real development.” I hope you can understand as I do not know of any other single word to describe that concept. If you do, perhaps you can tell me. Also, fair warning, this is long form content (some 10 pages), if you like it but can’t read it all at once you can save it and come back to it over a period of time, or you can stop reading whenever you get tired of it and still discuss those parts of it with me that you have read. But keep it civil if you want a civil response.
With that, to qualify the title, no, Ezra and Sabine do NOT absolutely have to be a couple, but if they were to become one, it would NOT be a ship. Ezra and Sabine’s relationship has had years of development. Could they remain as simply friends? Yes, but ironically, it was their “friendship” that felt like more of a ship. It felt like the Ahsoka show, helmed by Dave Filoni, was going out of its way to tell us: “no, they’re not a couple, they’re just friends.”
I believe that Filoni made some very poor writing choices to stress something that didn’t really need to be stressed, such that it almost felt like he was in denial. The line “I love you like a sister” was never in Rebels, Filoni essentially had that retconned in, and like many I was put off by their (largely) emotionless reunion. Even if they were “just friends” I believe there would be a great deal more emotion displayed between two people that hadn’t seen each other in some ten years, especially when one of them was in a precarious situation when they parted. I also believe Ezra would be far more curious about Sabine being Force sensitive, perhaps even offering to help train her when she told him that her training hadn’t gone as well with Ahsoka. He did help to train her with the Darksaber, didn’t he? Why that never came up is another discussion, but for now, let’s focus on shipping.
In case you think I’m desperate to have them as a couple, no I’m not. I’m about the furthest thing from it. Like many millennials and Gen-Z’ers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers) I DESPISE shipping. Absolutely DESPISE it. With a flaming passion. Perhaps for this reason, and maybe some others, like many millennials and Gen-Z’ers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers), I’m generally wary of nearly all romance in fiction, and generally avoid it in my own work. The sad reality is that romance is perhaps the most abused genre in all of fiction, all throughout history. It has been so badly abused that many people, including myself for the longest time, have equated romance with shipping, though I’m slowly beginning to see that they are not the same thing, and one does not necessarily have to go with the other.
But sadly, many writers, through time immemorial, have not been able to separate them, going back into ancient times and perhaps even into pre-history, that is before languages were actually written down. Some of what is considered great literature; classics like Romeo and Juliet, are predicated on shipping, though at least the consequences of this “whirlwind romance” are shown to be fairly stark. Star Wars itself is no stranger to shipping, resulting in a very awkward incestuous kiss when Luke was shipped with Leia, then Leia was placed with Han and Lucas made Luke and Leia brother and sister, apparently having forgotten his original ship. Later Lucas essentially shipped Anakin and Padme, resulting in some of the most cringeworthy dialog in the history of film. Many fans of the Prequels even have been somewhat critical of Anakin’s portrayal, particularly in regards to the “romantic” scenes, with many describing them as “creepy”. Some have speculated that this was intentional, though personally I think it was just the result of bad writing on the part of George Lucas, and an impatience on his part for Anakin and Padme to become a couple, hence “shipping”.
One might wonder why this is so prevalent in fiction, and tragically, one does not have to look far. Fiction is merely a reflection of reality, therefore the reason that shipping is so common in our stories is that we fall so easily into it in real life. Indeed, entire cultures may be based around shipping, or at least very heavily wrapped up in it. Throughout history arranged marriages have been the norm, and the idea of marrying for “love” is something relatively new. To be fair, I’ve actually met people in arranged marriages who seemed to be fairly happy, but those same people were very open in telling me that many despise that aspect of their culture, and that it is quite normal for those in an arranged marriage to try to get out.
People might come together for “love” without marrying, but even then it often creates expectations that might turn into a burden. Even when a marriage is voluntary and for “love”, people are often left unsatisfied, such that today in the West the divorce rate is something like 50%. Happy, stable, long term relationships seem to be the exception across cultures and across the breadth and width of time. And yet pursuit of love and some kind of relationship seems to be the highest calling for many people, both in real life and in fiction. And it could be that the accumulated disgust is finally starting to boil over.
To be fair, this may not be the first time in history that the pendulum has shifted. You may recall that in Victorian times attitudes changed drastically, as compared to the previously bawdy Elizabethan times. Looking at a play from Shakespear, if you can understand the language, you’ll see all kinds of vulgar references, as well as what I believe are fairly sappy romances like in the aforementioned Romeo and Juliet, though I can’t say for certain whether Shakespear was actually endorsing that type of attitude towards “love” or presenting it as a cautionary tale, maybe even something to be ridiculed in some of his other plays.
But regardless, Victorians as you may well know had a very conservative attitude towards anything to do with romance, and would often avoid the subject in many places, or tread very carefully around it, as if walking on eggshells. It’s not that people stopped being romantic, in fiction or real life, but it was treated as something very serious and even dangerous, with many urges repressed or even suppressed entirely. This had all kinds of effects on society, both positive and negative. On the positive side, it reinforced the ideal of people being committed to their partners, and of marriage as a sacred institution rather than a “casual hookup” as was more common in Elizabethan times. Likewise it reinforced ideals of modesty and chastity, which may be coming back into vogue, though under different names. But just as there were positive aspects to these attitudes, so were there negative ones.
Just because the urges I described were repressed did not mean that they disappeared. In fact, they often morphed into things that many would consider “unhealthy”. From one statistic that I saw, in Victorian times about one in every 60 houses was a brothel, with the modern rate being closer to one in 6000. Additionally, the rights of women were often repressed, such that they could not fully express themselves and find their own identity, and path in life, as individuals. Just as Elizabethan ideals gave way to Victorian ones, so did the Victorian ideals gradually begin to erode.
Perhaps it began with the Jazz Age of the 1920’s (the “Roaring Twenties”), or with the increased interconnectivity of people traveling to different parts of the world during World War I, not to mention the cynicism that pervaded throughout the West in response to failed old ideals leading to the deadliest war in history up to that point, but many Victorian ideals began to be seen as a joke, and even resented for their “oppression”, which to be fair was not entirely unjustified. But regardless, people gradually, and at times not so gradually, became more and more “liberated” and promiscuous. This culminated in the Sexual Revolution in the late 1960’s, when what had previously been seen as a vice and even a sin was now seen as not only “normal” but as a healthy form of expression, a virtue even. And just as these ideas were embraced in real life, so too were they reflected in our films, TV shows, and other media, often to the consternation of older people and institutions, like the Vatican. The Catholic Church even went so far as to “ban” certain films, that is to declare them immoral for good Catholics to watch. Many of the films that were banned back then, or at least controversial, like The Graduate with Dustin Hoffman, are fairly tame by today’s standards.
It continued through the 70’s, at times warming and at times cooling through the rest of the century, until you could argue it reached a kind of crescendo in the early 21st century with the advent of so-called “dark romance” and the publication of books like Fifty Shades of Grey. (Ironically, many of the themes within this “dark romance” can trace their roots back to the Victorian era, yet another indication that repressing urges without addressing them often doesn’t work out as one might hope.) But as happens all too often, just as something reaches peak popularity is when it begins to go out of style, and that is what we may be experiencing right now. As weird as it may sound, we may actually have come full circle and may be on the cusp of a “New Victorian Age” (complete with “dark romance”, even). Web sites like Porn Hub and OnlyFans, as well as other similar sites, may be the new “brothels”, and what was once openly celebrated may be going underground, to an extent. The effects of this on society have been interesting to say the least, and at times I would even say bizarre.
Whilst many younger people seem content with these changes, many older people are concerned. I’ve seen a number of books, films, and other media receive positive reviews for example based specifically on their lack of romance. Many of these books/films, etc. fall into the “young adult” category, meaning that it is young adults obviously who mostly consume them. At the same time I’ve heard a number of older people, mostly boomers and Gen-Xers, criticize these same books/films for their lack of romance. Even some older millennials seem upset by the changes, as perhaps evidenced by Jennifer Lawrence’s latest film No Hard Feelings (though to be fair that film may be lampooning the older generation’s frustration as well as the younger generation’s frigidity). So just as in the past older people were concerned about the promiscuity of the youth, now it actually appears that many older people are concerned about the youth’s lack of promiscuity.
Who could have seen that coming? But to be fair, the younger generation hasn’t gone completely frigid. As stated earlier, much of the promiscuity has gone “underground”, or online, which many would argue is not very healthy as it might undermine actual relationships, whether they are romantic in nature or simple friendships. And speaking of that, friendships within stories nowadays often aren’t portrayed in a very authentic or compelling manner, perhaps because in ditching romance modern writers haven’t quite yet learned how to replace it with something else. In other words, the “New Victorian Age” may not be an exact repeat of the previous one, but may have its own twists and turns, for better and for worse.
This may all essentially be a manifestation of the Human Condition, in that we just can’t seem to find a happy medium, neither in real life nor in fiction. Thus we keep swinging from one extreme to the other, apparently getting wilder with each swing.
So where does all this leave us? What is it that we really want in our lives, and in our stories? Especially in regards to relationships? I think at some level we all want to see good and healthy relationships between people and/or characters, whether romantic or platonic. I believe at some point we would like to see good examples of both friendship and romance, and I would argue that the best examples of romance have them combined. Even a toxic relationship, if well portrayed or documented, can be instructive and serve as a good example of what to avoid in our lives that we might be happier and relate better to each other. A good relationship, by contrast, can give us something to aspire to and inspire us to not only look for the right kind of person to complement our lives, but to make ourselves worthy of that person. And here I’ll add that I’m perfectly aware that in real life (and thus in fiction) relationships can be very complicated and heavily nuanced, with elements of both “good” and “bad” in them. Just as people change over time so can the relationships between them change, at times getting better and at times worse, sometimes breaking entirely and sometimes growing stronger. Relationships can have just as many layers and dimensions as characters, more even perhaps, and a skilled writer should be able to reflect this complexity. At other times a relationship can be fairly straightforward, simplicity sometimes being the best approach. But regardless, the audience should be able to relate and identify with what they are seeing, such that hopefully they can incorporate the lessons from it in their own lives.
Where can we find good examples of relationships to study? There may be a number of them in the real world, but the trouble with studying real world relationships is that they’re often much more complicated than fictional ones (just as real people are more complicated than fictional characters), and for many of them it is almost impossible to know all the details and nuances because they are often kept private, understandably so, and even if they aren’t it can still be difficult, due to unique circumstances, to see how to relate them to our own lives. Additionally there may be far more disagreement about a real life situation than a fictional one, with many more points of view. To keep things simple, for the purpose of this article I would like to focus on fictional relationships. (And fair warning, there will be some spoilers.)
One of the best places to look, I would argue, would be the films of Hayao Miyazaki. (And this is pretty significant to Star Wars as you will see in a bit.) A film of his that stands out to me the most is Princess Mononoke. Like many of Miyazaki’s films it has elements of romance, and yet subverts them in a way that makes complete sense and feels very genuine, without taking away from any of the accompanying charm. It starts with two young people, San and Ashitaka, and as soon as they encounter each other there is a kind of expectation of romance. This may be inevitable to some degree when you have a man and a woman of about the same age encounter each other in a story, especially if they happen to be adolescents. The expectation may not be inherently bad, and Miyazaki does play with it. Both characters are thrust into dangerous situations, at various points end up saving each other’s lives, and at a certain point I think it is obvious that they have feelings for each other. I was certain that at the end of the film, they would be together, and if things had gone that way, it would make complete sense. Instead, they go in different directions, but remain good friends, and considering their backgrounds and differing worldviews, this ends up making even more sense to the story.
Essentially, Miyazaki could have gone for the more conventional, tried and true “love conquers all” narrative, where the characters’ feelings for each other would negate everything that comes between them, they would somehow find a common ground in spite of their differences, the romance would not only take over the narrative but somehow also solve all the problems in the story, and then the couple would live “happily ever after”. Such an approach is not inherently bad or wrong, and is fairly common in Western media and storytelling. We can see it in films like Fern Gully, and more recently James Cameron’s Avatar, both of which have been compared to Princess Mononoke. As you can probably guess, the problem is that at a certain point such a narrative can become fairly simplistic, and lack nuance.
Miyazaki’s films, by contrast, are very heavily nuanced, and are anything but simplistic. In Princess Mononoke the characters San and Ashitaka don’t help each other simply because they are “in love”, but because it is the right thing to do, regardless of how they might feel about each other. Yes, romantic feelings are certainly alluded to, but they are not essential to the plot, for it could have worked just as well without any romantic allusions. And ironically, this makes those allusions even more valid, even if they are unrequited. How so?
Consider that if love is essential to a given narrative, is it not relegated to being nothing more than a plot device? Again, this is quite common in Western media and storytelling, and is not inherently bad or wrong, but when it becomes a trope or cliche, I believe it is the essence of where shipping comes from. Many storytellers get caught up in this, usually without realizing it, and while a story can still work even with shipping, I believe that it usually works that much better without it.
This extends not only to Miyazaki’s handling of romance but also to other things like environmentalism, the conflict between man and nature, and the contrasting ideals of human progress vs. preserving the natural order. Movies like Fern Gully and Avatar, as already mentioned, handle these themes in a fairly simplistic and I would even say hamfisted manner, whereby all progress and technology is shown as being inherently “bad” and in service to “evil”, while everything that’s “natural” is shown to be inherently “good”. Even our notions of good and evil, and right vs. wrong, are challenged by Miyazaki, with nearly all of his characters having complex motives and multiple dimensions to them, as well as understandable reasons for doing the things that they do. Rarely can any one of his characters be branded as a simple “villain”, and rarely is any one individual the source of conflict in his stories, again in contrast to most Western narratives.
I’ll reiterate once more, a simple, straightforward narrative is not inherently a bad thing, whether the themes being dealt with are romantic or anything else. Sometimes it is in fact the best approach. But the best stories in my opinion are usually the most nuanced, that challenge our notions of what we believe to be true, and that force us to think about what we do with our lives and what we could do differently. To that end Miyazaki introduces all manner of themes and motifs within his films that are familiar to us but shows them in a light most of us might not have considered, thus giving more dimension to our understanding of things.
“How is any of this related to Star Wars?” you might ask. It is quite related, and you don’t even have to look all that closely to see it. A very influential figure within Star Wars was very heavily inspired by the works of Miyazaki, and that figure is Dave Filoni.
This video shows the connections in some detail:
https://youtu.be/Q_4L0BbSpHo?si=04jDo6qFCnZT135w
But to summarize if you’ve seen any of Miyazaki’s films, especially Princess Mononoke, I think the callbacks in Filoni’s work will be all too obvious, especially in Star Wars Rebels. Some of the scenes in Filoni’s work look like they were taken directly from Miyazki’s films, and many of the same themes and motifs often come up. The relationship between San and Ashitaka I would argue is very similar to the relationship between Ezra and Sabine, and not just because both couples rode wolves together.
Incidentally, Dave Filoni was also heavily involved in Avatar: The Last Airbender, which I would also argue was at least to some degree inspired if not by Miyazaki then by Japanese anime in general. The relationship between Aang and Katara was developed with great care and was allowed to build very slowly, as opposed to simply shipping them. Likewise other characters very gradually developed as individuals and in their relationships, at times stumbling as they did so, and making mistakes, before finding their way back to the right path.
All of this is in stark contrast to George Lucas, whose character development is often very rushed at best, and at times some might say almost non-existent. So essentially, even though Lucas has said that Filoni has been “like a son” to him, and I believe referred to Filoni as his “padawan”, I would argue that Filoni is ultimately as much a student of Miyazaki as he is of Lucas.
Again, you might ask, “What does all this mean for Star Wars?” It means a great many things. It means that Dave Filoni has taken Miyazaki’s lessons to heart, and can handle things like romance, as well as other kinds of relationships, quite well most of the time. Like Miyazaki he can play with romance, tease the audience with it at times even, leave the romance unrequited, and yet still have it feel satisfying. A prime example of this is the love triangle that Ahsoka was involved in with the young Separatist Senator, Lux Bonteri, and Steela Gerrera. As wary as I am of romance and as much as I despise shipping, love triangles I normally despise even more, but this one seemed to actually work. It never took over the main story, and even though Ahsoka’s feelings were ultimately not reciprocated, she still learned from the experience, and grew and developed further as a character because of it. The other characters involved in this triangle also grew and developed from their involvement, though unfortunately not all of them made it. All in all it was a good bit of storytelling and gave the audience something to consider.
When a relationship in one of Filoni’s stories does bloom into a full blown romance he also generally handles it quite well. For one Filoni is sparing with actual romance, so that when it does occur, it can be that much more appreciated. And rather than rushing or shipping it, Filoni normally takes his time to build it up. An example of this is the relationship between Kanan and Hera. Some might argue that this is perhaps the best developed romance in all of Star Wars, at least in Canon. Built up over four seasons, at times it wasn’t certain whether it was a romance or a friendship, or perhaps even a professional partnership. Perhaps even the characters themselves were not certain, though it was hinted all throughout the narrative that something was going on. To this day I don’t believe anyone can say definitively when it became an actual romance, and I believe Filoni did this intentionally because he wanted to be subtle, rather than making things too obvious and having the romance take over the narrative, as it usually does. When it finally did become obvious as to what was happening, it felt very much earned, in a way that is seldom accomplished in other works of fiction, including Star Wars.
The relationship between Ezra and Sabine was also fairly well written, for the most part anyway, at least in Star Wars Rebels. Ezra was almost immediately smitten with Sabine, but being a young teenage boy, it was understandable that he would feel that way about an attractive girl. Over time he learned to see her more respectfully, as a colleague and even as part of his adopted family, not just as a pretty face. Sabine for her part found Ezra annoying at first (c’mon, what teenage boy isn’t?), but as he matured and she found out more about him she came to understand and respect him more, and see him as a friend and almost a brother, with there being potential for something more.
There were times when the relationship could have been better written, like in the episode “Blood Sisters”, where Ezra was written to be a bit too immature to make Sabine look wiser. But overall, the bond between them developed fairly well; both saved one another at various times, and took risks and made sacrifices for each other’s sake. Both reassured and comforted the other when they needed it, and it was endearing to hear their banter when they became more familiar and trusting of each other.
So why then was I so disappointed in how they were portrayed in the Ahsoka show? The thing is, after how well their relationship was built up in Rebels, as I’ve already mentioned it was strange to see how lackluster and uninspired their reunion was.
Within the Ahsoka show itself Sabine was shown to be almost obsessed with finding Ezra, living in what used to be his home, watching a recording of him over and over again, and calling out his name as she woke up in the middle of the night. She even risked bringing Thrawn back into the Galaxy, which ultimately happened, just so she could see Ezra again. After all that, when she finally does encounter him, her reaction seems fairly casual, as does his, as if they’ve been apart for no more than a week, rather than 10 years. Not too much happens between them afterwards either. Like I said Ezra does not appear all that curious about what happened with Sabine, how she found him, and how it was that she was now Force sensitive. Sabine likewise did not seem curious about what had happened with Ezra, and how he had gotten away from Thrawn. And with Ezra rescued and returned home, suddenly it didn’t seem as though Sabine was all that interested in him anymore, nor he all that concerned with her, though they were just as far apart as they had been at the start of the show. To be completely honest it made me wonder what the point of the whole show was. Were they just working to set up Thrawn’s return to the Galaxy? As some have said, Ezra felt like nothing more than a Macguffin in the show. Was Sabine and Ahsoka’s search for him just a plot device?
Considering how skillfully Dave Filoni had written his stories in the past, what happened in this latest project of his does not make much sense. Was he so concerned about “shipping” and so desperate to avoid it that he inadvertently “shipped” them in the other direction? Was there some sort of external pressure on him about how to write this story to have more of an appeal to “modern audiences”? Maybe some combination of those factors?
And here I’ll add that when I say “modern audiences” I don’t mean that in a contemptuous sense, though you may think I do. If there is any contempt on my part it is for those in charge of telling our stories, or those in charge of those telling our stories, who do not seem to grasp these basic truths. The truth is that audiences at their core don’t really change throughout the ages, only superficially so. Trends come and go but certain truths and ideals are eternal, and universal. How people relate to each other fundamentally does not change, whether they are friends, or more than friends. And deep down, I believe everyone (or nearly everyone at least) wants the same things. Nearly everyone at some point wants some kind of a connection with another human being, to know that they are not alone in the world, and to know that there is someone else who sees and understands things as they do. While this desire can certainly lead to abuse, and absolutely has, it is still innate to us and is not inherently wrong. Finding ways of connecting and relating to other people is one of the great challenges of life, but many would argue it is the most worthwhile of challenges. It may be the whole point of life if you think about it. As complex as it may be, many would argue it is what makes life worth living, and likewise makes for the best stories. Just as it may be the whole point of life many would say that is what most stories are about at their core: people trying to relate to one another.
Sadly, just as in real life, most stories unfortunately don’t quite get it, and the Ahsoka show in my opinion was an example of this, made all the sadder by the fact that Dave Filoni had done quite well with these characters up to that point. We may never know for certain what exactly went wrong and why, or if it can ever be “fixed” at this point, but I can’t help but feel curious. Maybe in the future Filoni will find a way to make it make sense, but I’m not sure how. And to be completely honest I don’t feel quite as enthusiastic to find out as I used to.
Also for the record I would like to add here that there are other factors that put me off from the show, such as Sabine’s Force sensitivity, that came about without much build up. But in this article I specifically wanted to focus on shipping because there seems to be so much misunderstanding around it.
I hope that I was able to clarify some, if not most of this misunderstanding, so that people could better appreciate what shipping is, where it comes from, as well as what it isn’t. Many people today are understandably sick of shipping characters, myself included. But I hope people realize that in overcompensating for something, we often come back around into the very thing that we are overcompensating for. Or sometimes, into something even worse. This may apply to nearly every facet of life, by the way, not just shipping. Finding a happy medium in how we portray our fictional relationships may help us to better understand relationships in real life, as well as how to navigate them. Neither fictional nor actual relationships can ever be perfect but they can always be better. To this understanding then I hope that I was able to give my own modest contribution, and if nothing else I hope we can connect on that.

Hey everyone,
I hope you're all doing well. I'm reaching out to seek some guidance regarding filing and claiming my tax returns from abroad. Unfortunately, I've encountered a couple of hurdles that are making the process quite challenging for me.
Firstly, my access to the ATO website has been restricted due to an expired phone number. As a result, I'm unable to log in and complete the necessary steps online. Secondly, I'm facing difficulties with the MyGovID app, which is further complicating matters.
I'm in a bit of a bind here and would greatly appreciate any advice or assistance you could offer. Are there alternative methods or channels through which I can file my tax returns without relying on the ATO website or the MyGovID app? Has anyone else encountered similar issues, and if so, how did you resolve them?
Any insights, tips, or recommendations would be immensely helpful. Thank you in advance for your support!
Cheers

Bio from The Festival Voice

Artist Biography by Daniel Karasek
Interpol is an iconic indie rock band hailing from New York City. The band started out of New York University when the members met in college in the late 90s. Interpol became an official band in 1998 when they issued a series of self-released EPs. The band made regular appearances at New York venues including Brownie’s and the Mercury Lounge which helped them build a local following. In 2001, they did a U.K. tour that included a session for BBC Radio. In 2002, Interpol signed with Matador Records who released the band’s debut album Turn on the Bright Lights that same year. The album reached number 101 on the U.K. Albums Chart and number 158 on the Billboard 200 Albums Chart in the U.S. while also spending a year on Billboard’s Independent Albums Chart. Interpol toured heavily following their strong debut release until 2003 when they recorded and released their second album Antics. The album hit number 15 on the Billboard 200 Albums Chart and number 21 on the U.K. Albums Chart. Another lengthy global tour followed the album’s release. Interpol continued to chart for the next two decades with their most recent album being 2022’s The Other Side of Make-Believe.

 
Genre: Post-Punk, Indie Rock
Scheduled: Friday
Songs & Sets:
08 Narc Interpol Glastonbury 2014
Interpol - Evil (Official Video)
Interpol - All The Rage Back Home
Interpol - Lights
Have you seen Interpol before? Please share your experience and favorite songs.
 

Days Until Bonnaroo: 29

Remember to drink water and warm up those high fives!
 
Link to previous AotD post

Hello friends, I am an 18-year-old League of Legends player. And I want to tell you an interesting experience, I'll tell you all in advance. I wish you a good reading. Surprisingly, one of the days One day while playing League of Legends again I alt-tabbed to change the song I opened on Spotify. But when I throw it, what do I see? In the Spotify commercial, I saw that the world's most famous cola company had released a new cola for League of Legends. literally shock I was like dead, the fat-clogged veins of my heart were beating loudly with excitement. My eyes are wide open It was opened. A new Lol coke. This was literally a new LoL coke. It sounded amazing, I've been waiting for this moment for years. I was born for this. I immediately started researching, tapping my greasy fingers on the keyboard. How does it taste? My questions such as where to sell, how to reach I answered. Unfortunately, it didn't give RP like it used to, but since I'm a Lillia main, I still had to buy this LoL-specific cola, even though it didn't give anything. I learned the place and time it was sold and prepared a plan. I was going to buy it from Walmart near my house and drink it. The plan was quite difficult; Very difficult steps such as stepping outside, walking and even communicating with the cashier It was hosting. But I had to. I set off immediately. As soon as I opened the door and went out, the sun It penetrated my skin and made a "ciss" sound. It's been years since I last went out for a Lol Coke. I had no problem with Sunshine. Oxygen felt quite strange. After a few difficult steps Finally I arrived at Migros. You go inside, avoid eye contact with everyone, and grab the cold drinks cabinet at the top. on it, I saw it. It was there... It was shining with gold, it was very majestic. my eyes It was dazzlingly beautiful. As soon as I hold it in my hand, I was the happiest person in the world now. As soon as I bought it, I ran to the cash register, I had the coke in one hand and the money in the other. I gave the money to the cashier, who easily took it through the cash register and gave it to me, and I quickly ran without taking my change. I started. This much social interaction is very hard on my body. It was too much. But it was worth it. I was at the exit now, with a LoL cola in my hand. I succeeded. I raised my hands and shouted: I did it! I DID IT! But then my social anxiety took over and I started shaking. When I stopped shaking, I opened the coke. Even her ccooosss voice was so beautiful, so charming. my mouth I placed it on the opening and started drinking. gulp first sip. But something was abnormal, it wasn't exactly a foreign taste to me. Gulp, second sip, I knew this taste, I could imagine it. gulp third sip. With every sip I take, in my brain Another missing piece of the puzzle fell into place. And before I was halfway through the box, my mind The puzzle was completed. It tasted exactly like the toes of Lillia's right hind hoof. That hairy, noble leg of his, hard, but beautiful hoof that softens as I split it with my tongue... The moment I realized this, my eyes started to spin. It's easy after a while! I realized that I stopped drinking and preferred coke. I was going crazy. As if he was licking Lillia's asshole, her face red with embarrassment, and her tail It was like she was caressing my face. When you say "don't do it, stop", you mean it She was whispering "fuck me all the way to my intestines" as if to my ear. I was becoming an unchained slave to my own passion, my libido. Lillia to fuck loudly My deep desire to be was overtaking my perception of reality. 100% of my brain was working to fuck this side gazelle creature. These thoughts slowly It took over my entire brain and I literally went crazy. Foaming from my mouth She was squirting, my eyes were seeing Lillia's gazelle pussy everywhere. Half cola in the box I stopped thrusting my tongue and forced my dick into the drink hole. Ahahaha! He was covered in blood, but the pleasure I felt was indescribable. As if I had no tomorrow I started to fuck the box. all over my dick It was peeling, my blood covered the entire outside of the box; Some of it had leaked in and mixed with the cola in the box. I could hear Lillia in my ear. She was neighing, "fuck me like there's no tomorrow, "Tear my ass to pieces, my love," he was moaning. I accelerated to satisfy my wife, your moans gigliks took their place. It was the best feeling in the world, I held his hind legs and wrapped his tail around my hand. She was rocking while he fucked her tight asshole In my dream world, She was screaming that I was her daddy. I ejaculated. When I spilled my sperm, which was a sign of my love for Lillia, into the box filled with coke and my blood, I was under the influence of the legendary pressure. The box exploded in my hand. And this love liquid inside was scattered all over the sky. It was pouring like rain. This blessed rain, which for some is the symbol of my lost sanity and for some is the symbol of my epic love for Lillia, is with me and everything around me. He was blessing humanity with his abundance. A lot, but a lot It was beautiful. I found absolute peace at that very moment. Until the day I die, from the real gazelle's pussy. I won't fuck anything else, Lillia. I promise you my love, I love you...

Here is his article translated with GPT:
It's been two months since I left Mingchao（Wuthering Waves'sname in PinYin）. Mentally, physically, and in terms of my outlook on life, I've shed a heavy burden. Without a doubt, I feel light and joyful.
My journey took me from Chengdu to Shanghai, then to Huangshan, Huizhou, Hongcun, Xidi, and back to Changsha, my hometown in western Hunan, and to Zhangjiajie before returning to Guangzhou. I traveled far and wide, meeting many relatives and friends. The beauty of traveling lies in experiencing the stories of others in a different time and space, immersing oneself in a completely unfamiliar way of life. Exploring the wonders of life in the mundane, touching the emotions, interests, joys, and sorrows of different lifestyles is, in essence, seeking the possibility of another way of life.
Humans, with their short lives and endless desires, are often enchanted by the illusion of eternity. Some feel that time is fleeting and life is unpredictable, wishing to leave a mark on the world they've traversed. But many are tethered to worldly desires. As they reach middle age, their ambitions and sharp edges are dulled, while their pursuit of fame, fortune, and power grows. Some fall in love with the transient pleasures of life, while others shamelessly chase after temporary gains in fame, fortune, and lust, engaging in acts of deceit and manipulation. Little do they realize that they are mere pawns on someone else's chessboard, jumping back and forth, oblivious to their own insignificance.
As a game engine programmer, it's easy to be misunderstood both in the industry and within the company. Long exposure can lead to a sense of inflated ego, a feeling of invincibility. But if you look a little further, you'll realize that most real-time rendering technologies today will be obsolete in three to five years, let alone thirty or fifty years. I often wonder if, in old age, reminiscing about my youth and career, all the achievements of today will seem insignificant. The enthusiasm and passion for work are extinguished in this mindset, leaving nothing but ashes behind.
To me, game technology is just a part of games and products, neither more nor less. I admire and respect those who pursue technology purely, but I shouldn't fixate on technical perfection or cutting-edge innovation. Decisions should be made based on project timelines, manpower, and available resources.
A few days ago, some friends approached me. They were amazed by the success and low cost of a leisure H5 3D project and wanted to enhance the technical team's capabilities for better artistic expression. I advised them to use Unity3D instead of trying to wrestle with Unreal Engine. After all, if the project doesn't involve creating vast worlds, isn't focused on the 3C (Character, Camera, Controls) aspects, doesn't prioritize performances, isn't targeting multiple platforms, and isn't an FPS game, then Unreal Engine's advantages are nullified, while its disadvantages remain. Especially when considering adapting to low-end mobile devices prevalent in Southeast Asia and South America, why venture into the dragon's den when there's a smooth road ahead? And how can one expect to find suitable and reliable Unreal Engine programmers in a short period in Guangzhou?
The greatest benefit of this trip was the discussions with friends about technology and game design, gaining different perspectives. It not only bolstered my long-term confidence in the industry but also made me reevaluate the essence of game technology and the disparities between myself and my goals. I sincerely admire and wish well for those who pursue the ideal of creating great games they love. After all, the game industry in China is a desert of idealism, flooded with capital driven solely by profit, with companies lacking basic contractual ethics, and individuals being hypocritical, calculating opportunists in the guise of upright gentlemen. What's truly lacking in this industry are passionate, capable producers dedicated to their favorite game genres, those courageous enough to carve out new paths amidst ridicule and misunderstanding, those with keen insight and boldness, radiating the light of idealism, respecting themselves and others, thus earning respect from others. These are the rare talents, the role models, the pillars of the industry.
When choosing partners, character should be the top priority. It's not just about what they say but also about what they do. It's not just about their actions towards you but also about their past actions towards former partners. It's not just about how close friends evaluate them but also about how distant partners assess them. One must cherish their feathers and not delude themselves with fantasies of being victorious authors of history, for those who truly write history have no need to protect their feathers. I often half-jokingly, half-seriously tell my colleagues, 'We spend most of our lives, from our twenties to our sixties, working. If work isn't enjoyable, then we're wasting our lives.'
When I was eighteen, I nearly died from a severe illness. In that near-death experience, I distinctly remember feeling no fear of death, only a sense of regret for leaving so many things unfinished that I loved and were within my capabilities. Over a decade ago, reading "Chanel: A Woman of Her Own" and "Dandu," I, in my early twenties, suddenly felt old, crying uncontrollably, echoing Duras's lament in "The Lover," 'This has come too soon, too hastily. I am only eighteen, but it's already too late.' But as I passed thirty-five, the fear and helplessness towards age gradually diminished, and I began to cherish my family, friends, and inner peace even more.
The game industry is becoming increasingly divided. On one side, game development costs are soaring, teams are growing larger, development cycles are getting longer, investors are losing confidence, layoffs are rampant both domestically and internationally, and the number of unemployed colleagues and friends around me is increasing. On the other side, more and more indie game developers, faced with the enormous gap in the cost of starting a business and entering a company, resolutely choose to follow their hearts, passionately piecing together the games they love amidst economic hardship, with their original intentions unchanged, and a glimmer of hope in their eyes.
I asked a friend, why endure the hardships of game development? He replied with a verse from Su Dongpo's "A Talk on the First Day of Spring":
'Is the Southland not pleasing?
But here, where my heart is at peace, is my home.'
source: https://zhuanlan.zhihu.com/p/696884865

Hi all,
1st of all, English is not my first language, so I humbly ask you to forgive my grammar and some mistakes.
A bit of context:
My brother C(52 M) and I(39 M) were never close:

• We are half-brothers. We don't have the same dad(our mother N(70 F) and his dad divorced when he was 4 years old, because he cheated several times) and for many years he always made a point to say that we were half-brothers. I never had this issue with our sister (he and she have the same dad).
• We have a big age gap: 13 years with him and 10 years with our sister;
• He has the idea that since he is the oldest we should exactly what he wants and give absolute respect.
• I'm not as lenient with him as my parents. It's a very long story, but my parents always gave in with demands and tantrums over the years (I think that our mom feels guilty for the divorce.), on the other side, I imposed limits and won't budge.

In short, we are cordial, but I wouldn't say that I love him as brother.
Unfortunately, this divide was passed on to his 3 children: D(29M), A(24F) & M(18M). Since they are little, our mom and I tried to have a good relation with them but I don't think it worked.
Although my oldest nephew D(29M) were close when he was little (we actually played together.). We are in good terms but we're not close.
I always felt closer and protective of the youngest M(18M) since I always noticed that he was more like me and my brother was harsher with him since his childhood (He wasn't planned and I heard my SIL and brother say it out loud several times, and not in a good way.). :(
This post is about my youngest nephew M(18 M):
When he had an issue with his parents, he would come up to me and my mom asking for help. (For example, his phone number was included on our carrier because my brother didn't want to pay a mobile phone tariff with internet included. He said it was expensive.).
2 years ago, my nephew, asked me if I could help him with his inscription on a gym, he needed a bank account number for his inscription and his parents didn't want to give theirs. So I helped (due to his health he needs it), but I told him that if money was taken of my bank account, because of him, he would have to pay me back and he agreed.
Last year the finished school and I helped him get a job where I worked, and since my workplace was very close to my house and we had the same schedule, he came to live with my mom and me. We talked and told him that we wanted 100€/month to help with the house expenses. Actually, my mom and I planned to give him back that money later, when he would buy a car. We just wanted him to gain responsibility, but he never gave us any money.
Since he was far from his gym, he went there to stop his membership. I warned him to careful and check if he had a binding period with the gym, he told me that he didn't. The following day, he told me that it was done, and that I could block the bank withdrawals, just in case. I must confess, that I'm not sure if I blocked them or not, but I'm almost sure I did it. Well a few months ago, I was checking my bank balance and noticed several withdrawals from the gym, the total sum up to about 250€.
I talked to him, and he told me that he would handle it and ask for a refund. For several weeks, I asked him if he had news and he always evaded the question or told me that he was busy. I immediately became suspicious of the situation, but I gave him some space to resolve the issue, since it could be a great learning experience and I also wanted to see how he would handle it.
After a few months of living with my mom and me, he got his driver's license, and the next day he went back to his parent's house. I wasn't surprised, in fact, I was expecting it, he already bought his car and his behavior showed that we wasn't happy here with us. A few weeks later, I found another job, and we don't see each other every day, as before.
After I insisted several times, he finally went to the gym, and ... The membership cancellation wasn't validated, and he doesn't remember if they gave him proof of cancellation. (I have a very good friend that works with that gym and he told me that as pear their procedure they should have given him a proof of cancellation.) I don't know if my nephew lost it or if the gym didn't give him one, the result is the same the money cannot be refunded.
Now I sent him 2 texts (that he read) that I wanted to talk to him about this issue, but he didn't answer me. I didn't confront him and his father with it and I don't think I will. I know that those kind of situations always end up becoming a drama with them where they are the victims and I will end up in square one: without the refund.
I feel quite disappointed with him. I realized that he's just like my brother, ungrateful and acts like they never do nothing wrong. If he were straight forward with me and asked me to pay me later or even in installments, I think I would have even forgive him the money.
But now, I'm going to be as close as NC as possible and I don't think I will help him ever again. One day, when he'll need my help, I will remember him about this matter and tell him that he burns that bridge a long time ago. I can be quite cold sometimes when want to.
So tell me, AITA?

My wife and I live together in the same apartment. I am registered to pay the Deutschlandradio fee and the cost is deducted from my bank account. However, recently my wife has been receiving letters from them stating that she owes them money.
My wife tried reaching out to them via the online platform but was not successful. I called 3 times and I explained to the person that I don’t speak perfect German and asked if they spoke English (i did this German) and their response was no. I asked if there is another person l can speak to in English and they hung up the phone on me.
I once again made another request online and I am currently waiting for a response. Is there any other way I can have this situation resolved?

This is my attempt at a re-submission due to some misunderstandings on the first attempt. I now know that there are different definitions of the word “ship”, but for the purposes of this article and to keep things simple I will use the definition of “a relationship that’s rushed and/or forced with no real development.” I hope you can understand as I do not know of any other single word to describe that concept. If you do, perhaps you can tell me. Also, fair warning, this is long form content (some 10 pages), if you like it but can’t read it all at once you can save it and come back to it over a period of time, or you can stop reading whenever you get tired of it and still discuss those parts of it with me that you have read. But keep it civil if you want a civil response.
With that, to qualify the title, no, Ezra and Sabine do NOT absolutely have to be a couple, but if they were to become one, it would NOT be a ship. Ezra and Sabine’s relationship has had years of development. Could they remain as simply friends? Yes, but ironically, it was their “friendship” that felt like more of a ship. It felt like the Ahsoka show, helmed by Dave Filoni, was going out of its way to tell us: “no, they’re not a couple, they’re just friends.”
I believe that Filoni made some very poor writing choices to stress something that didn’t really need to be stressed, such that it almost felt like he was in denial. The line “I love you like a sister” was never in Rebels, Filoni essentially had that retconned in, and like many I was put off by their (largely) emotionless reunion. Even if they were “just friends” I believe there would be a great deal more emotion displayed between two people that hadn’t seen each other in some ten years, especially when one of them was in a precarious situation when they parted. I also believe Ezra would be far more curious about Sabine being Force sensitive, perhaps even offering to help train her when she told him that her training hadn’t gone as well with Ahsoka. He did help to train her with the Darksaber, didn’t he? Why that never came up is another discussion, but for now, let’s focus on shipping.
In case you think I’m desperate to have them as a couple, no I’m not. I’m about the furthest thing from it. Like many millennials and Gen-Z’ers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers) I DESPISE shipping. Absolutely DESPISE it. With a flaming passion. Perhaps for this reason, and maybe some others, like many millennials and Gen-Z’ers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers), I’m generally wary of nearly all romance in fiction, and generally avoid it in my own work. The sad reality is that romance is perhaps the most abused genre in all of fiction, all throughout history. It has been so badly abused that many people, including myself for the longest time, have equated romance with shipping, though I’m slowly beginning to see that they are not the same thing, and one does not necessarily have to go with the other.
But sadly, many writers, through time immemorial, have not been able to separate them, going back into ancient times and perhaps even into pre-history, that is before languages were actually written down. Some of what is considered great literature; classics like Romeo and Juliet, are predicated on shipping, though at least the consequences of this “whirlwind romance” are shown to be fairly stark. Star Wars itself is no stranger to shipping, resulting in a very awkward incestuous kiss when Luke was shipped with Leia, then Leia was placed with Han and Lucas made Luke and Leia brother and sister, apparently having forgotten his original ship. Later Lucas essentially shipped Anakin and Padme, resulting in some of the most cringeworthy dialog in the history of film. Many fans of the Prequels even have been somewhat critical of Anakin’s portrayal, particularly in regards to the “romantic” scenes, with many describing them as “creepy”. Some have speculated that this was intentional, though personally I think it was just the result of bad writing on the part of George Lucas, and an impatience on his part for Anakin and Padme to become a couple, hence “shipping”.
One might wonder why this is so prevalent in fiction, and tragically, one does not have to look far. Fiction is merely a reflection of reality, therefore the reason that shipping is so common in our stories is that we fall so easily into it in real life. Indeed, entire cultures may be based around shipping, or at least very heavily wrapped up in it. Throughout history arranged marriages have been the norm, and the idea of marrying for “love” is something relatively new. To be fair, I’ve actually met people in arranged marriages who seemed to be fairly happy, but those same people were very open in telling me that many despise that aspect of their culture, and that it is quite normal for those in an arranged marriage to try to get out.
People might come together for “love” without marrying, but even then it often creates expectations that might turn into a burden. Even when a marriage is voluntary and for “love”, people are often left unsatisfied, such that today in the West the divorce rate is something like 50%. Happy, stable, long term relationships seem to be the exception across cultures and across the breadth and width of time. And yet pursuit of love and some kind of relationship seems to be the highest calling for many people, both in real life and in fiction. And it could be that the accumulated disgust is finally starting to boil over.
To be fair, this may not be the first time in history that the pendulum has shifted. You may recall that in Victorian times attitudes changed drastically, as compared to the previously bawdy Elizabethan times. Looking at a play from Shakespear, if you can understand the language, you’ll see all kinds of vulgar references, as well as what I believe are fairly sappy romances like in the aforementioned Romeo and Juliet, though I can’t say for certain whether Shakespear was actually endorsing that type of attitude towards “love” or presenting it as a cautionary tale, maybe even something to be ridiculed in some of his other plays.
But regardless, Victorians as you may well know had a very conservative attitude towards anything to do with romance, and would often avoid the subject in many places, or tread very carefully around it, as if walking on eggshells. It’s not that people stopped being romantic, in fiction or real life, but it was treated as something very serious and even dangerous, with many urges repressed or even suppressed entirely. This had all kinds of effects on society, both positive and negative. On the positive side, it reinforced the ideal of people being committed to their partners, and of marriage as a sacred institution rather than a “casual hookup” as was more common in Elizabethan times. Likewise it reinforced ideals of modesty and chastity, which may be coming back into vogue, though under different names. But just as there were positive aspects to these attitudes, so were there negative ones.
Just because the urges I described were repressed did not mean that they disappeared. In fact, they often morphed into things that many would consider “unhealthy”. From one statistic that I saw, in Victorian times about one in every 60 houses was a brothel, with the modern rate being closer to one in 6000. Additionally, the rights of women were often repressed, such that they could not fully express themselves and find their own identity, and path in life, as individuals. Just as Elizabethan ideals gave way to Victorian ones, so did the Victorian ideals gradually begin to erode.
Perhaps it began with the Jazz Age of the 1920’s (the “Roaring Twenties”), or with the increased interconnectivity of people traveling to different parts of the world during World War I, not to mention the cynicism that pervaded throughout the West in response to failed old ideals leading to the deadliest war in history up to that point, but many Victorian ideals began to be seen as a joke, and even resented for their “oppression”, which to be fair was not entirely unjustified. But regardless, people gradually, and at times not so gradually, became more and more “liberated” and promiscuous. This culminated in the Sexual Revolution in the late 1960’s, when what had previously been seen as a vice and even a sin was now seen as not only “normal” but as a healthy form of expression, a virtue even. And just as these ideas were embraced in real life, so too were they reflected in our films, TV shows, and other media, often to the consternation of older people and institutions, like the Vatican. The Catholic Church even went so far as to “ban” certain films, that is to declare them immoral for good Catholics to watch. Many of the films that were banned back then, or at least controversial, like The Graduate with Dustin Hoffman, are fairly tame by today’s standards.
It continued through the 70’s, at times warming and at times cooling through the rest of the century, until you could argue it reached a kind of crescendo in the early 21st century with the advent of so-called “dark romance” and the publication of books like Fifty Shades of Grey. (Ironically, many of the themes within this “dark romance” can trace their roots back to the Victorian era, yet another indication that repressing urges without addressing them often doesn’t work out as one might hope.) But as happens all too often, just as something reaches peak popularity is when it begins to go out of style, and that is what we may be experiencing right now. As weird as it may sound, we may actually have come full circle and may be on the cusp of a “New Victorian Age” (complete with “dark romance”, even). Web sites like Porn Hub and OnlyFans, as well as other similar sites, may be the new “brothels”, and what was once openly celebrated may be going underground, to an extent. The effects of this on society have been interesting to say the least, and at times I would even say bizarre.
Whilst many younger people seem content with these changes, many older people are concerned. I’ve seen a number of books, films, and other media receive positive reviews for example based specifically on their lack of romance. Many of these books/films, etc. fall into the “young adult” category, meaning that it is young adults obviously who mostly consume them. At the same time I’ve heard a number of older people, mostly boomers and Gen-Xers, criticize these same books/films for their lack of romance. Even some older millennials seem upset by the changes, as perhaps evidenced by Jennifer Lawrence’s latest film No Hard Feelings (though to be fair that film may be lampooning the older generation’s frustration as well as the younger generation’s frigidity). So just as in the past older people were concerned about the promiscuity of the youth, now it actually appears that many older people are concerned about the youth’s lack of promiscuity.
Who could have seen that coming? But to be fair, the younger generation hasn’t gone completely frigid. As stated earlier, much of the promiscuity has gone “underground”, or online, which many would argue is not very healthy as it might undermine actual relationships, whether they are romantic in nature or simple friendships. And speaking of that, friendships within stories nowadays often aren’t portrayed in a very authentic or compelling manner, perhaps because in ditching romance modern writers haven’t quite yet learned how to replace it with something else. In other words, the “New Victorian Age” may not be an exact repeat of the previous one, but may have its own twists and turns, for better and for worse.
This may all essentially be a manifestation of the Human Condition, in that we just can’t seem to find a happy medium, neither in real life nor in fiction. Thus we keep swinging from one extreme to the other, apparently getting wilder with each swing.
So where does all this leave us? What is it that we really want in our lives, and in our stories? Especially in regards to relationships? I think at some level we all want to see good and healthy relationships between people and/or characters, whether romantic or platonic. I believe at some point we would like to see good examples of both friendship and romance, and I would argue that the best examples of romance have them combined. Even a toxic relationship, if well portrayed or documented, can be instructive and serve as a good example of what to avoid in our lives that we might be happier and relate better to each other. A good relationship, by contrast, can give us something to aspire to and inspire us to not only look for the right kind of person to complement our lives, but to make ourselves worthy of that person. And here I’ll add that I’m perfectly aware that in real life (and thus in fiction) relationships can be very complicated and heavily nuanced, with elements of both “good” and “bad” in them. Just as people change over time so can the relationships between them change, at times getting better and at times worse, sometimes breaking entirely and sometimes growing stronger. Relationships can have just as many layers and dimensions as characters, more even perhaps, and a skilled writer should be able to reflect this complexity. At other times a relationship can be fairly straightforward, simplicity sometimes being the best approach. But regardless, the audience should be able to relate and identify with what they are seeing, such that hopefully they can incorporate the lessons from it in their own lives.
Where can we find good examples of relationships to study? There may be a number of them in the real world, but the trouble with studying real world relationships is that they’re often much more complicated than fictional ones (just as real people are more complicated than fictional characters), and for many of them it is almost impossible to know all the details and nuances because they are often kept private, understandably so, and even if they aren’t it can still be difficult, due to unique circumstances, to see how to relate them to our own lives. Additionally there may be far more disagreement about a real life situation than a fictional one, with many more points of view. To keep things simple, for the purpose of this article I would like to focus on fictional relationships. (And fair warning, there will be some spoilers.)
One of the best places to look, I would argue, would be the films of Hayao Miyazaki. (And this is pretty significant to Star Wars as you will see in a bit.) A film of his that stands out to me the most is Princess Mononoke. Like many of Miyazaki’s films it has elements of romance, and yet subverts them in a way that makes complete sense and feels very genuine, without taking away from any of the accompanying charm. It starts with two young people, San and Ashitaka, and as soon as they encounter each other there is a kind of expectation of romance. This may be inevitable to some degree when you have a man and a woman of about the same age encounter each other in a story, especially if they happen to be adolescents. The expectation may not be inherently bad, and Miyazaki does play with it. Both characters are thrust into dangerous situations, at various points end up saving each other’s lives, and at a certain point I think it is obvious that they have feelings for each other. I was certain that at the end of the film, they would be together, and if things had gone that way, it would make complete sense. Instead, they go in different directions, but remain good friends, and considering their backgrounds and differing worldviews, this ends up making even more sense to the story.
Essentially, Miyazaki could have gone for the more conventional, tried and true “love conquers all” narrative, where the characters’ feelings for each other would negate everything that comes between them, they would somehow find a common ground in spite of their differences, the romance would not only take over the narrative but somehow also solve all the problems in the story, and then the couple would live “happily ever after”. Such an approach is not inherently bad or wrong, and is fairly common in Western media and storytelling. We can see it in films like Fern Gully, and more recently James Cameron’s Avatar, both of which have been compared to Princess Mononoke. As you can probably guess, the problem is that at a certain point such a narrative can become fairly simplistic, and lack nuance.
Miyazaki’s films, by contrast, are very heavily nuanced, and are anything but simplistic. In Princess Mononoke the characters San and Ashitaka don’t help each other simply because they are “in love”, but because it is the right thing to do, regardless of how they might feel about each other. Yes, romantic feelings are certainly alluded to, but they are not essential to the plot, for it could have worked just as well without any romantic allusions. And ironically, this makes those allusions even more valid, even if they are unrequited. How so?
Consider that if love is essential to a given narrative, is it not relegated to being nothing more than a plot device? Again, this is quite common in Western media and storytelling, and is not inherently bad or wrong, but when it becomes a trope or cliche, I believe it is the essence of where shipping comes from. Many storytellers get caught up in this, usually without realizing it, and while a story can still work even with shipping, I believe that it usually works that much better without it.
This extends not only to Miyazaki’s handling of romance but also to other things like environmentalism, the conflict between man and nature, and the contrasting ideals of human progress vs. preserving the natural order. Movies like Fern Gully and Avatar, as already mentioned, handle these themes in a fairly simplistic and I would even say hamfisted manner, whereby all progress and technology is shown as being inherently “bad” and in service to “evil”, while everything that’s “natural” is shown to be inherently “good”. Even our notions of good and evil, and right vs. wrong, are challenged by Miyazaki, with nearly all of his characters having complex motives and multiple dimensions to them, as well as understandable reasons for doing the things that they do. Rarely can any one of his characters be branded as a simple “villain”, and rarely is any one individual the source of conflict in his stories, again in contrast to most Western narratives.
I’ll reiterate once more, a simple, straightforward narrative is not inherently a bad thing, whether the themes being dealt with are romantic or anything else. Sometimes it is in fact the best approach. But the best stories in my opinion are usually the most nuanced, that challenge our notions of what we believe to be true, and that force us to think about what we do with our lives and what we could do differently. To that end Miyazaki introduces all manner of themes and motifs within his films that are familiar to us but shows them in a light most of us might not have considered, thus giving more dimension to our understanding of things.
“How is any of this related to Star Wars?” you might ask. It is quite related, and you don’t even have to look all that closely to see it. A very influential figure within Star Wars was very heavily inspired by the works of Miyazaki, and that figure is Dave Filoni.
This video shows the connections in some detail:
https://youtu.be/Q_4L0BbSpHo?si=04jDo6qFCnZT135w
But to summarize if you’ve seen any of Miyazaki’s films, especially Princess Mononoke, I think the callbacks in Filoni’s work will be all too obvious, especially in Star Wars Rebels. Some of the scenes in Filoni’s work look like they were taken directly from Miyazki’s films, and many of the same themes and motifs often come up. The relationship between San and Ashitaka I would argue is very similar to the relationship between Ezra and Sabine, and not just because both couples rode wolves together.
Incidentally, Dave Filoni was also heavily involved in Avatar: The Last Airbender, which I would also argue was at least to some degree inspired if not by Miyazaki then by Japanese anime in general. The relationship between Aang and Katara was developed with great care and was allowed to build very slowly, as opposed to simply shipping them. Likewise other characters very gradually developed as individuals and in their relationships, at times stumbling as they did so, and making mistakes, before finding their way back to the right path.
All of this is in stark contrast to George Lucas, whose character development is often very rushed at best, and at times some might say almost non-existent. So essentially, even though Lucas has said that Filoni has been “like a son” to him, and I believe referred to Filoni as his “padawan”, I would argue that Filoni is ultimately as much a student of Miyazaki as he is of Lucas.
Again, you might ask, “What does all this mean for Star Wars?” It means a great many things. It means that Dave Filoni has taken Miyazaki’s lessons to heart, and can handle things like romance, as well as other kinds of relationships, quite well most of the time. Like Miyazaki he can play with romance, tease the audience with it at times even, leave the romance unrequited, and yet still have it feel satisfying. A prime example of this is the love triangle that Ahsoka was involved in with the young Separatist Senator, Lux Bonteri, and Steela Gerrera. As wary as I am of romance and as much as I despise shipping, love triangles I normally despise even more, but this one seemed to actually work. It never took over the main story, and even though Ahsoka’s feelings were ultimately not reciprocated, she still learned from the experience, and grew and developed further as a character because of it. The other characters involved in this triangle also grew and developed from their involvement, though unfortunately not all of them made it. All in all it was a good bit of storytelling and gave the audience something to consider.
When a relationship in one of Filoni’s stories does bloom into a full blown romance he also generally handles it quite well. For one Filoni is sparing with actual romance, so that when it does occur, it can be that much more appreciated. And rather than rushing or shipping it, Filoni normally takes his time to build it up. An example of this is the relationship between Kanan and Hera. Some might argue that this is perhaps the best developed romance in all of Star Wars, at least in Canon. Built up over four seasons, at times it wasn’t certain whether it was a romance or a friendship, or perhaps even a professional partnership. Perhaps even the characters themselves were not certain, though it was hinted all throughout the narrative that something was going on. To this day I don’t believe anyone can say definitively when it became an actual romance, and I believe Filoni did this intentionally because he wanted to be subtle, rather than making things too obvious and having the romance take over the narrative, as it usually does. When it finally did become obvious as to what was happening, it felt very much earned, in a way that is seldom accomplished in other works of fiction, including Star Wars.
The relationship between Ezra and Sabine was also fairly well written, for the most part anyway, at least in Star Wars Rebels. Ezra was almost immediately smitten with Sabine, but being a young teenage boy, it was understandable that he would feel that way about an attractive girl. Over time he learned to see her more respectfully, as a colleague and even as part of his adopted family, not just as a pretty face. Sabine for her part found Ezra annoying at first (c’mon, what teenage boy isn’t?), but as he matured and she found out more about him she came to understand and respect him more, and see him as a friend and almost a brother, with there being potential for something more.
There were times when the relationship could have been better written, like in the episode “Blood Sisters”, where Ezra was written to be a bit too immature to make Sabine look wiser. But overall, the bond between them developed fairly well; both saved one another at various times, and took risks and made sacrifices for each other’s sake. Both reassured and comforted the other when they needed it, and it was endearing to hear their banter when they became more familiar and trusting of each other.
So why then was I so disappointed in how they were portrayed in the Ahsoka show? The thing is, after how well their relationship was built up in Rebels, as I’ve already mentioned it was strange to see how lackluster and uninspired their reunion was.
Within the Ahsoka show itself Sabine was shown to be almost obsessed with finding Ezra, living in what used to be his home, watching a recording of him over and over again, and calling out his name as she woke up in the middle of the night. She even risked bringing Thrawn back into the Galaxy, which ultimately happened, just so she could see Ezra again. After all that, when she finally does encounter him, her reaction seems fairly casual, as does his, as if they’ve been apart for no more than a week, rather than 10 years. Not too much happens between them afterwards either. Like I said Ezra does not appear all that curious about what happened with Sabine, how she found him, and how it was that she was now Force sensitive. Sabine likewise did not seem curious about what had happened with Ezra, and how he had gotten away from Thrawn. And with Ezra rescued and returned home, suddenly it didn’t seem as though Sabine was all that interested in him anymore, nor he all that concerned with her, though they were just as far apart as they had been at the start of the show. To be completely honest it made me wonder what the point of the whole show was. Were they just working to set up Thrawn’s return to the Galaxy? As some have said, Ezra felt like nothing more than a Macguffin in the show. Was Sabine and Ahsoka’s search for him just a plot device?
Considering how skillfully Dave Filoni had written his stories in the past, what happened in this latest project of his does not make much sense. Was he so concerned about “shipping” and so desperate to avoid it that he inadvertently “shipped” them in the other direction? Was there some sort of external pressure on him about how to write this story to have more of an appeal to “modern audiences”? Maybe some combination of those factors?
And here I’ll add that when I say “modern audiences” I don’t mean that in a contemptuous sense, though you may think I do. If there is any contempt on my part it is for those in charge of telling our stories, or those in charge of those telling our stories, who do not seem to grasp these basic truths. The truth is that audiences at their core don’t really change throughout the ages, only superficially so. Trends come and go but certain truths and ideals are eternal, and universal. How people relate to each other fundamentally does not change, whether they are friends, or more than friends. And deep down, I believe everyone (or nearly everyone at least) wants the same things. Nearly everyone at some point wants some kind of a connection with another human being, to know that they are not alone in the world, and to know that there is someone else who sees and understands things as they do. While this desire can certainly lead to abuse, and absolutely has, it is still innate to us and is not inherently wrong. Finding ways of connecting and relating to other people is one of the great challenges of life, but many would argue it is the most worthwhile of challenges. It may be the whole point of life if you think about it. As complex as it may be, many would argue it is what makes life worth living, and likewise makes for the best stories. Just as it may be the whole point of life many would say that is what most stories are about at their core: people trying to relate to one another.
Sadly, just as in real life, most stories unfortunately don’t quite get it, and the Ahsoka show in my opinion was an example of this, made all the sadder by the fact that Dave Filoni had done quite well with these characters up to that point. We may never know for certain what exactly went wrong and why, or if it can ever be “fixed” at this point, but I can’t help but feel curious. Maybe in the future Filoni will find a way to make it make sense, but I’m not sure how. And to be completely honest I don’t feel quite as enthusiastic to find out as I used to.
Also for the record I would like to add here that there are other factors that put me off from the show, such as Sabine’s Force sensitivity, that came about without much build up. But in this article I specifically wanted to focus on shipping because there seems to be so much misunderstanding around it.
I hope that I was able to clarify some, if not most of this misunderstanding, so that people could better appreciate what shipping is, where it comes from, as well as what it isn’t. Many people today are understandably sick of shipping characters, myself included. But I hope people realize that in overcompensating for something, we often come back around into the very thing that we are overcompensating for. Or sometimes, into something even worse. This may apply to nearly every facet of life, by the way, not just shipping. Finding a happy medium in how we portray our fictional relationships may help us to better understand relationships in real life, as well as how to navigate them. Neither fictional nor actual relationships can ever be perfect but they can always be better. To this understanding then I hope that I was able to give my own modest contribution, and if nothing else I hope we can connect on that.

Hello Redditors! To clarify the title, I have had penpals in the past and one that lasted several years but I cannot guarantee a letter or email every x days. I can say though I do always eventually get to responding! I also don’t care if you’re male, female, nonbinary. I do prefer someone around my age. Country or state does not matter either.
A little bit about me, I love to make colorful letters and sometimes send tiny trinkets I’ve made or gathered from trips. I’m a sticker and washi tape hoarder. As far as the content of my letters, I will talk about anything. I especially like outdoorsy stuff such as hiking and gardening. I’ve traveled to several European countries and have limited experience in Ecuador and Kenya. At home I love to watch anime and play some PC games. I also enjoy reading when I have the time. Most recently I read Dune. I have yet to see the movie. Nonfiction, fantasy, and Sci Fi are my favorite.
Other random things, I love winter and skiing, rock climbing, haunted houses (not horror movies), dogs (I have a 3yr old doodle mutt), occasionally 5ks, mythology, and musicals.
Favorite musical is Wicked, Book is Speaker for the Dead or Gone with the Wind, song is Paradise by the Dashboard light by Meat Loaf, movie is The Lobster, and anime is Tokyo Ghoul.
I have been thinking it would be interesting to analyze movies, books, poems, or song lyrics with people.
Anyways, excited to meet you future penpal(s)!

This is my attempt at a re-submission due to some misunderstandings on the first attempt. I now know that there are different definitions of the word “ship”, but for the purposes of this article and to keep things simple I will use the definition of “a relationship that’s rushed and/or forced with no real development.” I hope you can understand as I do not know of any other single word to describe that concept. If you do, perhaps you can tell me. Also, fair warning, this is long form content (some 10 pages), if you like it but can’t read it all at once you can save it and come back to it over a period of time, or you can stop reading whenever you get tired of it and still discuss those parts of it with me that you have read. But keep it civil if you want a civil response.
With that, to qualify the title, no, Ezra and Sabine do NOT absolutely have to be a couple, but if they were to become one, it would NOT be a ship. Ezra and Sabine’s relationship has had years of development. Could they remain as simply friends? Yes, but ironically, it was their “friendship” that felt like more of a ship. It felt like the Ahsoka show, helmed by Dave Filoni, was going out of its way to tell us: “no, they’re not a couple, they’re just friends.”
I believe that Filoni made some very poor writing choices to stress something that didn’t really need to be stressed, such that it almost felt like he was in denial. The line “I love you like a sister” was never in Rebels, Filoni essentially had that retconned in, and like many I was put off by their (largely) emotionless reunion. Even if they were “just friends” I believe there would be a great deal more emotion displayed between two people that hadn’t seen each other in some ten years, especially when one of them was in a precarious situation when they parted. I also believe Ezra would be far more curious about Sabine being Force sensitive, perhaps even offering to help train her when she told him that her training hadn’t gone as well with Ahsoka. He did help to train her with the Darksaber, didn’t he? Why that never came up is another discussion, but for now, let’s focus on shipping.
In case you think I’m desperate to have them as a couple, no I’m not. I’m about the furthest thing from it. Like many millennials and Gen-Z’ers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers) I DESPISE shipping. Absolutely DESPISE it. With a flaming passion. Perhaps for this reason, and maybe some others, like many millennials and Gen-Z’ers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers), I’m generally wary of nearly all romance in fiction, and generally avoid it in my own work. The sad reality is that romance is perhaps the most abused genre in all of fiction, all throughout history. It has been so badly abused that many people, including myself for the longest time, have equated romance with shipping, though I’m slowly beginning to see that they are not the same thing, and one does not necessarily have to go with the other.
But sadly, many writers, through time immemorial, have not been able to separate them, going back into ancient times and perhaps even into pre-history, that is before languages were actually written down. Some of what is considered great literature; classics like Romeo and Juliet, are predicated on shipping, though at least the consequences of this “whirlwind romance” are shown to be fairly stark. Star Wars itself is no stranger to shipping, resulting in a very awkward incestuous kiss when Luke was shipped with Leia, then Leia was placed with Han and Lucas made Luke and Leia brother and sister, apparently having forgotten his original ship. Later Lucas essentially shipped Anakin and Padme, resulting in some of the most cringeworthy dialog in the history of film. Many fans of the Prequels even have been somewhat critical of Anakin’s portrayal, particularly in regards to the “romantic” scenes, with many describing them as “creepy”. Some have speculated that this was intentional, though personally I think it was just the result of bad writing on the part of George Lucas, and an impatience on his part for Anakin and Padme to become a couple, hence “shipping”.
One might wonder why this is so prevalent in fiction, and tragically, one does not have to look far. Fiction is merely a reflection of reality, therefore the reason that shipping is so common in our stories is that we fall so easily into it in real life. Indeed, entire cultures may be based around shipping, or at least very heavily wrapped up in it. Throughout history arranged marriages have been the norm, and the idea of marrying for “love” is something relatively new. To be fair, I’ve actually met people in arranged marriages who seemed to be fairly happy, but those same people were very open in telling me that many despise that aspect of their culture, and that it is quite normal for those in an arranged marriage to try to get out.
People might come together for “love” without marrying, but even then it often creates expectations that might turn into a burden. Even when a marriage is voluntary and for “love”, people are often left unsatisfied, such that today in the West the divorce rate is something like 50%. Happy, stable, long term relationships seem to be the exception across cultures and across the breadth and width of time. And yet pursuit of love and some kind of relationship seems to be the highest calling for many people, both in real life and in fiction. And it could be that the accumulated disgust is finally starting to boil over.
To be fair, this may not be the first time in history that the pendulum has shifted. You may recall that in Victorian times attitudes changed drastically, as compared to the previously bawdy Elizabethan times. Looking at a play from Shakespear, if you can understand the language, you’ll see all kinds of vulgar references, as well as what I believe are fairly sappy romances like in the aforementioned Romeo and Juliet, though I can’t say for certain whether Shakespear was actually endorsing that type of attitude towards “love” or presenting it as a cautionary tale, maybe even something to be ridiculed in some of his other plays.
But regardless, Victorians as you may well know had a very conservative attitude towards anything to do with romance, and would often avoid the subject in many places, or tread very carefully around it, as if walking on eggshells. It’s not that people stopped being romantic, in fiction or real life, but it was treated as something very serious and even dangerous, with many urges repressed or even suppressed entirely. This had all kinds of effects on society, both positive and negative. On the positive side, it reinforced the ideal of people being committed to their partners, and of marriage as a sacred institution rather than a “casual hookup” as was more common in Elizabethan times. Likewise it reinforced ideals of modesty and chastity, which may be coming back into vogue, though under different names. But just as there were positive aspects to these attitudes, so were there negative ones.
Just because the urges I described were repressed did not mean that they disappeared. In fact, they often morphed into things that many would consider “unhealthy”. From one statistic that I saw, in Victorian times about one in every 60 houses was a brothel, with the modern rate being closer to one in 6000. Additionally, the rights of women were often repressed, such that they could not fully express themselves and find their own identity, and path in life, as individuals. Just as Elizabethan ideals gave way to Victorian ones, so did the Victorian ideals gradually begin to erode.
Perhaps it began with the Jazz Age of the 1920’s (the “Roaring Twenties”), or with the increased interconnectivity of people traveling to different parts of the world during World War I, not to mention the cynicism that pervaded throughout the West in response to failed old ideals leading to the deadliest war in history up to that point, but many Victorian ideals began to be seen as a joke, and even resented for their “oppression”, which to be fair was not entirely unjustified. But regardless, people gradually, and at times not so gradually, became more and more “liberated” and promiscuous. This culminated in the Sexual Revolution in the late 1960’s, when what had previously been seen as a vice and even a sin was now seen as not only “normal” but as a healthy form of expression, a virtue even. And just as these ideas were embraced in real life, so too were they reflected in our films, TV shows, and other media, often to the consternation of older people and institutions, like the Vatican. The Catholic Church even went so far as to “ban” certain films, that is to declare them immoral for good Catholics to watch. Many of the films that were banned back then, or at least controversial, like The Graduate with Dustin Hoffman, are fairly tame by today’s standards.
It continued through the 70’s, at times warming and at times cooling through the rest of the century, until you could argue it reached a kind of crescendo in the early 21st century with the advent of so-called “dark romance” and the publication of books like Fifty Shades of Grey. (Ironically, many of the themes within this “dark romance” can trace their roots back to the Victorian era, yet another indication that repressing urges without addressing them often doesn’t work out as one might hope.) But as happens all too often, just as something reaches peak popularity is when it begins to go out of style, and that is what we may be experiencing right now. As weird as it may sound, we may actually have come full circle and may be on the cusp of a “New Victorian Age” (complete with “dark romance”, even). Web sites like Porn Hub and OnlyFans, as well as other similar sites, may be the new “brothels”, and what was once openly celebrated may be going underground, to an extent. The effects of this on society have been interesting to say the least, and at times I would even say bizarre.
Whilst many younger people seem content with these changes, many older people are concerned. I’ve seen a number of books, films, and other media receive positive reviews for example based specifically on their lack of romance. Many of these books/films, etc. fall into the “young adult” category, meaning that it is young adults obviously who mostly consume them. At the same time I’ve heard a number of older people, mostly boomers and Gen-Xers, criticize these same books/films for their lack of romance. Even some older millennials seem upset by the changes, as perhaps evidenced by Jennifer Lawrence’s latest film No Hard Feelings (though to be fair that film may be lampooning the older generation’s frustration as well as the younger generation’s frigidity). So just as in the past older people were concerned about the promiscuity of the youth, now it actually appears that many older people are concerned about the youth’s lack of promiscuity.
Who could have seen that coming? But to be fair, the younger generation hasn’t gone completely frigid. As stated earlier, much of the promiscuity has gone “underground”, or online, which many would argue is not very healthy as it might undermine actual relationships, whether they are romantic in nature or simple friendships. And speaking of that, friendships within stories nowadays often aren’t portrayed in a very authentic or compelling manner, perhaps because in ditching romance modern writers haven’t quite yet learned how to replace it with something else. In other words, the “New Victorian Age” may not be an exact repeat of the previous one, but may have its own twists and turns, for better and for worse.
This may all essentially be a manifestation of the Human Condition, in that we just can’t seem to find a happy medium, neither in real life nor in fiction. Thus we keep swinging from one extreme to the other, apparently getting wilder with each swing.
So where does all this leave us? What is it that we really want in our lives, and in our stories? Especially in regards to relationships? I think at some level we all want to see good and healthy relationships between people and/or characters, whether romantic or platonic. I believe at some point we would like to see good examples of both friendship and romance, and I would argue that the best examples of romance have them combined. Even a toxic relationship, if well portrayed or documented, can be instructive and serve as a good example of what to avoid in our lives that we might be happier and relate better to each other. A good relationship, by contrast, can give us something to aspire to and inspire us to not only look for the right kind of person to complement our lives, but to make ourselves worthy of that person. And here I’ll add that I’m perfectly aware that in real life (and thus in fiction) relationships can be very complicated and heavily nuanced, with elements of both “good” and “bad” in them. Just as people change over time so can the relationships between them change, at times getting better and at times worse, sometimes breaking entirely and sometimes growing stronger. Relationships can have just as many layers and dimensions as characters, more even perhaps, and a skilled writer should be able to reflect this complexity. At other times a relationship can be fairly straightforward, simplicity sometimes being the best approach. But regardless, the audience should be able to relate and identify with what they are seeing, such that hopefully they can incorporate the lessons from it in their own lives.
Where can we find good examples of relationships to study? There may be a number of them in the real world, but the trouble with studying real world relationships is that they’re often much more complicated than fictional ones (just as real people are more complicated than fictional characters), and for many of them it is almost impossible to know all the details and nuances because they are often kept private, understandably so, and even if they aren’t it can still be difficult, due to unique circumstances, to see how to relate them to our own lives. Additionally there may be far more disagreement about a real life situation than a fictional one, with many more points of view. To keep things simple, for the purpose of this article I would like to focus on fictional relationships. (And fair warning, there will be some spoilers.)
One of the best places to look, I would argue, would be the films of Hayao Miyazaki. (And this is pretty significant to Star Wars as you will see in a bit.) A film of his that stands out to me the most is Princess Mononoke. Like many of Miyazaki’s films it has elements of romance, and yet subverts them in a way that makes complete sense and feels very genuine, without taking away from any of the accompanying charm. It starts with two young people, San and Ashitaka, and as soon as they encounter each other there is a kind of expectation of romance. This may be inevitable to some degree when you have a man and a woman of about the same age encounter each other in a story, especially if they happen to be adolescents. The expectation may not be inherently bad, and Miyazaki does play with it. Both characters are thrust into dangerous situations, at various points end up saving each other’s lives, and at a certain point I think it is obvious that they have feelings for each other. I was certain that at the end of the film, they would be together, and if things had gone that way, it would make complete sense. Instead, they go in different directions, but remain good friends, and considering their backgrounds and differing worldviews, this ends up making even more sense to the story.
Essentially, Miyazaki could have gone for the more conventional, tried and true “love conquers all” narrative, where the characters’ feelings for each other would negate everything that comes between them, they would somehow find a common ground in spite of their differences, the romance would not only take over the narrative but somehow also solve all the problems in the story, and then the couple would live “happily ever after”. Such an approach is not inherently bad or wrong, and is fairly common in Western media and storytelling. We can see it in films like Fern Gully, and more recently James Cameron’s Avatar, both of which have been compared to Princess Mononoke. As you can probably guess, the problem is that at a certain point such a narrative can become fairly simplistic, and lack nuance.
Miyazaki’s films, by contrast, are very heavily nuanced, and are anything but simplistic. In Princess Mononoke the characters San and Ashitaka don’t help each other simply because they are “in love”, but because it is the right thing to do, regardless of how they might feel about each other. Yes, romantic feelings are certainly alluded to, but they are not essential to the plot, for it could have worked just as well without any romantic allusions. And ironically, this makes those allusions even more valid, even if they are unrequited. How so?
Consider that if love is essential to a given narrative, is it not relegated to being nothing more than a plot device? Again, this is quite common in Western media and storytelling, and is not inherently bad or wrong, but when it becomes a trope or cliche, I believe it is the essence of where shipping comes from. Many storytellers get caught up in this, usually without realizing it, and while a story can still work even with shipping, I believe that it usually works that much better without it.
This extends not only to Miyazaki’s handling of romance but also to other things like environmentalism, the conflict between man and nature, and the contrasting ideals of human progress vs. preserving the natural order. Movies like Fern Gully and Avatar, as already mentioned, handle these themes in a fairly simplistic and I would even say hamfisted manner, whereby all progress and technology is shown as being inherently “bad” and in service to “evil”, while everything that’s “natural” is shown to be inherently “good”. Even our notions of good and evil, and right vs. wrong, are challenged by Miyazaki, with nearly all of his characters having complex motives and multiple dimensions to them, as well as understandable reasons for doing the things that they do. Rarely can any one of his characters be branded as a simple “villain”, and rarely is any one individual the source of conflict in his stories, again in contrast to most Western narratives.
I’ll reiterate once more, a simple, straightforward narrative is not inherently a bad thing, whether the themes being dealt with are romantic or anything else. Sometimes it is in fact the best approach. But the best stories in my opinion are usually the most nuanced, that challenge our notions of what we believe to be true, and that force us to think about what we do with our lives and what we could do differently. To that end Miyazaki introduces all manner of themes and motifs within his films that are familiar to us but shows them in a light most of us might not have considered, thus giving more dimension to our understanding of things.
“How is any of this related to Star Wars?” you might ask. It is quite related, and you don’t even have to look all that closely to see it. A very influential figure within Star Wars was very heavily inspired by the works of Miyazaki, and that figure is Dave Filoni.
This video shows the connections in some detail:
https://youtu.be/Q_4L0BbSpHo?si=04jDo6qFCnZT135w
But to summarize if you’ve seen any of Miyazaki’s films, especially Princess Mononoke, I think the callbacks in Filoni’s work will be all too obvious, especially in Star Wars Rebels. Some of the scenes in Filoni’s work look like they were taken directly from Miyazki’s films, and many of the same themes and motifs often come up. The relationship between San and Ashitaka I would argue is very similar to the relationship between Ezra and Sabine, and not just because both couples rode wolves together.
Incidentally, Dave Filoni was also heavily involved in Avatar: The Last Airbender, which I would also argue was at least to some degree inspired if not by Miyazaki then by Japanese anime in general. The relationship between Aang and Katara was developed with great care and was allowed to build very slowly, as opposed to simply shipping them. Likewise other characters very gradually developed as individuals and in their relationships, at times stumbling as they did so, and making mistakes, before finding their way back to the right path.
All of this is in stark contrast to George Lucas, whose character development is often very rushed at best, and at times some might say almost non-existent. So essentially, even though Lucas has said that Filoni has been “like a son” to him, and I believe referred to Filoni as his “padawan”, I would argue that Filoni is ultimately as much a student of Miyazaki as he is of Lucas.
Again, you might ask, “What does all this mean for Star Wars?” It means a great many things. It means that Dave Filoni has taken Miyazaki’s lessons to heart, and can handle things like romance, as well as other kinds of relationships, quite well most of the time. Like Miyazaki he can play with romance, tease the audience with it at times even, leave the romance unrequited, and yet still have it feel satisfying. A prime example of this is the love triangle that Ahsoka was involved in with the young Separatist Senator, Lux Bonteri, and Steela Gerrera. As wary as I am of romance and as much as I despise shipping, love triangles I normally despise even more, but this one seemed to actually work. It never took over the main story, and even though Ahsoka’s feelings were ultimately not reciprocated, she still learned from the experience, and grew and developed further as a character because of it. The other characters involved in this triangle also grew and developed from their involvement, though unfortunately not all of them made it. All in all it was a good bit of storytelling and gave the audience something to consider.
When a relationship in one of Filoni’s stories does bloom into a full blown romance he also generally handles it quite well. For one Filoni is sparing with actual romance, so that when it does occur, it can be that much more appreciated. And rather than rushing or shipping it, Filoni normally takes his time to build it up. An example of this is the relationship between Kanan and Hera. Some might argue that this is perhaps the best developed romance in all of Star Wars, at least in Canon. Built up over four seasons, at times it wasn’t certain whether it was a romance or a friendship, or perhaps even a professional partnership. Perhaps even the characters themselves were not certain, though it was hinted all throughout the narrative that something was going on. To this day I don’t believe anyone can say definitively when it became an actual romance, and I believe Filoni did this intentionally because he wanted to be subtle, rather than making things too obvious and having the romance take over the narrative, as it usually does. When it finally did become obvious as to what was happening, it felt very much earned, in a way that is seldom accomplished in other works of fiction, including Star Wars.
The relationship between Ezra and Sabine was also fairly well written, for the most part anyway, at least in Star Wars Rebels. Ezra was almost immediately smitten with Sabine, but being a young teenage boy, it was understandable that he would feel that way about an attractive girl. Over time he learned to see her more respectfully, as a colleague and even as part of his adopted family, not just as a pretty face. Sabine for her part found Ezra annoying at first (c’mon, what teenage boy isn’t?), but as he matured and she found out more about him she came to understand and respect him more, and see him as a friend and almost a brother, with there being potential for something more.
There were times when the relationship could have been better written, like in the episode “Blood Sisters”, where Ezra was written to be a bit too immature to make Sabine look wiser. But overall, the bond between them developed fairly well; both saved one another at various times, and took risks and made sacrifices for each other’s sake. Both reassured and comforted the other when they needed it, and it was endearing to hear their banter when they became more familiar and trusting of each other.
So why then was I so disappointed in how they were portrayed in the Ahsoka show? The thing is, after how well their relationship was built up in Rebels, as I’ve already mentioned it was strange to see how lackluster and uninspired their reunion was.
Within the Ahsoka show itself Sabine was shown to be almost obsessed with finding Ezra, living in what used to be his home, watching a recording of him over and over again, and calling out his name as she woke up in the middle of the night. She even risked bringing Thrawn back into the Galaxy, which ultimately happened, just so she could see Ezra again. After all that, when she finally does encounter him, her reaction seems fairly casual, as does his, as if they’ve been apart for no more than a week, rather than 10 years. Not too much happens between them afterwards either. Like I said Ezra does not appear all that curious about what happened with Sabine, how she found him, and how it was that she was now Force sensitive. Sabine likewise did not seem curious about what had happened with Ezra, and how he had gotten away from Thrawn. And with Ezra rescued and returned home, suddenly it didn’t seem as though Sabine was all that interested in him anymore, nor he all that concerned with her, though they were just as far apart as they had been at the start of the show. To be completely honest it made me wonder what the point of the whole show was. Were they just working to set up Thrawn’s return to the Galaxy? As some have said, Ezra felt like nothing more than a Macguffin in the show. Was Sabine and Ahsoka’s search for him just a plot device?
Considering how skillfully Dave Filoni had written his stories in the past, what happened in this latest project of his does not make much sense. Was he so concerned about “shipping” and so desperate to avoid it that he inadvertently “shipped” them in the other direction? Was there some sort of external pressure on him about how to write this story to have more of an appeal to “modern audiences”? Maybe some combination of those factors?
And here I’ll add that when I say “modern audiences” I don’t mean that in a contemptuous sense, though you may think I do. If there is any contempt on my part it is for those in charge of telling our stories, or those in charge of those telling our stories, who do not seem to grasp these basic truths. The truth is that audiences at their core don’t really change throughout the ages, only superficially so. Trends come and go but certain truths and ideals are eternal, and universal. How people relate to each other fundamentally does not change, whether they are friends, or more than friends. And deep down, I believe everyone (or nearly everyone at least) wants the same things. Nearly everyone at some point wants some kind of a connection with another human being, to know that they are not alone in the world, and to know that there is someone else who sees and understands things as they do. While this desire can certainly lead to abuse, and absolutely has, it is still innate to us and is not inherently wrong. Finding ways of connecting and relating to other people is one of the great challenges of life, but many would argue it is the most worthwhile of challenges. It may be the whole point of life if you think about it. As complex as it may be, many would argue it is what makes life worth living, and likewise makes for the best stories. Just as it may be the whole point of life many would say that is what most stories are about at their core: people trying to relate to one another.
Sadly, just as in real life, most stories unfortunately don’t quite get it, and the Ahsoka show in my opinion was an example of this, made all the sadder by the fact that Dave Filoni had done quite well with these characters up to that point. We may never know for certain what exactly went wrong and why, or if it can ever be “fixed” at this point, but I can’t help but feel curious. Maybe in the future Filoni will find a way to make it make sense, but I’m not sure how. And to be completely honest I don’t feel quite as enthusiastic to find out as I used to.
Also for the record I would like to add here that there are other factors that put me off from the show, such as Sabine’s Force sensitivity, that came about without much build up. But in this article I specifically wanted to focus on shipping because there seems to be so much misunderstanding around it.
I hope that I was able to clarify some, if not most of this misunderstanding, so that people could better appreciate what shipping is, where it comes from, as well as what it isn’t. Many people today are understandably sick of shipping characters, myself included. But I hope people realize that in overcompensating for something, we often come back around into the very thing that we are overcompensating for. Or sometimes, into something even worse. This may apply to nearly every facet of life, by the way, not just shipping. Finding a happy medium in how we portray our fictional relationships may help us to better understand relationships in real life, as well as how to navigate them. Neither fictional nor actual relationships can ever be perfect but they can always be better. To this understanding then I hope that I was able to give my own modest contribution, and if nothing else I hope we can connect on that.

I use to play video games professionally and I played decently and I made it far into qualifying. I loved competing, I love my team mates at the time that were supportive of me and the people who were close to me. My team had gotten as far to the finals of a qualifier and we had faced a team who loved to create drama, they had constantly tried reporting and cheating their way to wins through stealing scrimmage information, vods since they were friends with our opponents. They fell short and lost to us and then they posted that I was racist, framing me and putting out fake screenshots of me saying the n word. Then the next day they hacked into my personal Instagram and all my accounts to get “proof” and post “proof” that I was racist. My team who were such a blessing in this crisis reported them to the actual game developers and they had a full investigation on me, so I refrained from speaking out since we had a tournament. Shortly after we got a report back and the allegations were insufficient and false but they would NOT allow me to post or speak upon it or Id be facing an infraction. I felt afraid to speak up since it had been some time and if people would even care but, it seems like people do care only when it’s bad things about others. I don’t know if I should speak about it anymore but I hope nobody else experiences it. It’s sucks to see my dream crushed and the players that lied still competing, I am disappointed most about how the community’s cancel culture was to insult me and basically tell me I’m a horrible person. Reminder it’s innocent until proven guilty but in this generation it seems like it’s guilty until proven innocent.

Hi all. My dad was a narc, my ex husband who was physically abusive was a narc, the guy I dated soon after divorcing my ex husband was a narc. Unfortunately I didn't know about narcissist but I have learnt alot in the last year or so.
The last narc I dated came in as my rescuer after I divorced my ex husband that situation wrnt south real quick after months. He finally got me in his Web then he'd go and come back as usual and this went on for almost 3 years and I broke up with him a few times in there as well. I was actually dealing with his drug addiction, his narcissist mother who's also an alcoholic amongst other things. It was hell. Anyway I finally had enough after him and his racist mother had their finally attack and walked away in October 2022. Since then I had a 2 hovers in that year which didn't work and he was pissed and I had a reverse hover in June of 2023 when I was still recovering and didn't know the ins and outs of narcissist people. Anyway, from that day I went no contact. He said that he was seeing someone which I'm not surprise cause although he is Hideous on the inside and out he has all the ascetic of a normal person. House, car, good job, so he can get someone who's still asleep if he tried dangling money in their face. I said to him I didn't need someone onto of me to be over him and I never heard from him again.
I did hear from his friend the next month and later on thar year which I realised he was a flying monkey. Everything he'd ask me he'd go right back and tell him I assumed and I knew that was the case from the last phone call cause the friend said to he me that the ex has someone new which I knew he was seeing her for a long time but hoping that I'd some how come back to play his game cause she is not high grade supply like me. Definitely a downgrade when I saw the picture of them that year. She's clearly trying to look like me but won't ever be me. Nevertheless, I don't care about him her, I'm just indifferent to the situation and to be honest I hope he stays there and gets whatever he thinks he's looking for. He's an Evil vile person and so is his mother and they'll get there's either in this life or the next so will my ex husband.
I changed my number since last year and I have no social media. I deal with my ex husband accordingly for the children but my knowledge on narcissistic people has helped me tremendously so I can manage in that situation but with the last I hope he will never contact me again as I see no way he can. No one he knows has my contact number, he thinks I've moved city cause that's what it told his flying monkey and that same week I spoke to the flying monkey and gave no interest in him, his new supply of show any interest of ever getting in contact or back with him he immediately posted his picture of him and the new supply which I hope to believe that since he's upgraded her my smear campaign can end, flying monkeys can stay at bay and he can move on with the trash he deserves and I can continue to live my life.
It's been 1 year and 7 months since I left the last Narc. It's been 11 months since no contact with him directly and 7 months since no contact with the flying monkey. I think I'm safe. My advice would be to take your time to heal, find your faith, search for your purpose, invest time, love and energy into yourself and the people that truly love and care for you and always remember that actions speak louder than words. Never look at ascetic but look deep within a person before you connect yourself intimately with them. I've learnt the hard way and at 38 I haven't given up on love I'm just giving myself time, enjoying my children and being patient as I believe what is for you would never pass you by and I'm a good person so I will receive my blessings on this life or the next.

—— Feedback from a 90S Buddhist practitioner who shared her experiences with tears at the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door Website.
Gratitude to Namo Sakyamuni Buddha!
Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Gratitude to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas from ten directions and three periods of time!
Gratitude to the Dharma protectors!
Gratitude to the benefactor and benevolent father Master Jun Hong Lu!
Gratitude to my fellow Dharma practitioners!
I am very happy to share with you my path to learning Buddhism in a healthy state. I am a post-90s person, and I am also a devout Buddhist. Previously, I just believed in Buddhism, burned incense and worshiped the Buddha, but I did not know I should recite Buddhist scriptures. In my consciousness, reciting Buddhist scriptures is the business of a monk or nun. It was later when I became acquainted with Buddhism formally that I realized that monks, nuns, laymen monks, and laymen nuns can all recite Buddhist scriptures if they are willing to do so.
I came into contact with Buddhism in the summer of 2018, the year I gave birth to 2 children in a row. My physical state was particularly poor. I suffer from insomnia almost every night. I often got to bed around 10:00 p.m. and woke up around 1:00 a.m., and I was then unable to sleep. During the day, I had to take care of the children and do housework. I often felt physically exhausted.
One night, I remembered that my cousin transcribed Buddhist scriptures. I thought that it would be better for me to do so at home so that I would not be wasting sleepless hours. By transcribing Buddhist scriptures I could cultivate my mind and improve my handwriting. Then, I searched the Internet. They said that transcribing Buddhist scriptures disrespects the Bodhisattva, so I gave up this idea. Then I thought of reciting Buddhist scriptures. The several Buddhist scriptures I found online were not suitable for me.
It might be my affinity with Buddha is ripe, or it is the Bodhisattva's compassion for me. Not long after I saw an article online that said reciting Buddhist scriptures could change one's destiny. I just casually left a comment below:“Can reciting Buddhist scriptures really change destiny?”Back and forth in this way, I added that Buddhist practitioner to my friend list.
What impressed me the most was that practicing Buddhism and reciting Buddhist scriptures are free of charge, and there will be no fees. On the Internet, she shared with me a lot of Buddhist scripture information. Later, she mailed me the Dharma Gems. After receiving the Dharma Gems, I began reciting the Buddhist scriptures, and I kept doing so until my children started school. I became very busy after school started. I did not want to recite Buddhist scriptures anymore. I recited a few Little Houses but did not repay my karmic creditors. Perhaps that is why my karma was activated early.
In the winter, I found that I had a high frequency of headaches, and also suffered left migraines. The left side of the body was soft and numb, especially the left toes and the hand. I wondered if it was the same as my mother's disease. Until December, when my mother again went to the provincial capital hospital due to health problems, did I realize this was a genetic condition. Further, the probability of female inheritance is very high. Then, I searched the Internet for primary multiple sclerosis (MS) symptoms and compared them to my own physical condition. I broke down. I was 26 years old at the time, just entering the age of predestined 369 calamity.
I had just been married for 2 years. I didn't dare tell my husband because I was afraid the family would be broken up. Since I had 2 daughters, I was afraid they would inherit the disease. I didn't dare tell my parents either, for fear of causing psychological pressure on my mom. I bear it alone. My spirit was in a state of collapse every day.
One day, I suddenly remembered a cancer case that was cured by practicing Buddhism, which was shared in a WeChat moment. Why not MS? Again, I contacted the Buddhist practitioner who transformed me. I cried and told her what had happened to me. I asked her if reciting Buddhist scriptures could really heal me. I remembered that she replied to me very firmly, saying it would definitely cure me. That's how I returned to the path of reciting Buddhist scriptures. This time I was with hope and determination in practicing Buddhism. MS can't be cured medically, only managed. I have no way out. I want to change my destiny through Dharma.
Since then, I have frantically read the shared presentations and referred to those practitioners’cases. I want to see how to do merits and virtues by making vows and releasing lives. Once, I made a vow to the sky to release fish worth 1,000 CNY and recited a number of Little Houses. Right at that moment, the left side of my body became much lighter and less numb. I thought it was amazing. It gave me a little more confidence in reciting Buddhist scriptures. When I saw people sharing that vegetarian is good, I made a vow to be vegetarian 2 days a month, then 10 days a month, and then a full-time vegetarian.
My physical conditions were not always as good as I wanted them to be, sometimes good and sometimes bad. I often dream of the dead. Once I dreamed that I had caused a car full of people to fall into the river and die. When I woke up, I hurriedly made a vow to ascend them using the Little House. Master Lu enlightened us that everyone comes into this world with karmic obstacles. Only by constantly reciting Buddhist scriptures, performing merits and virtues and repaying debts can these karmic obstacles be dissolved. Therefore, I knew that my karmic obstacle is from my past life, and I either have to repay it with my body or with reciting Buddhist scriptures. I chose the latter, by reciting Buddhist scriptures to repent of my past sins. Thereafter, whenever I dreamed of the deceased, I would make a vow to recite the Little House for them.
I have also deeply repented gossiping behind people's backs, saying too many bad things about them, and doing too many things behind their backs. Due to unknown the cause and effect, I advised people to divorce. I have been obsessed with worldly love and watched too many romance novels and TV dramas, which has led to my blessings loss. I have taken advantage of small gains and committed very petty thefts. I have deeply repented to this now. I am willing to spend the rest of my life cultivating my behavior and mind! I will recite the Buddhist scriptures and recite Little Houses to pay off my karmic debts.
With time, my symptoms improved: from the 24-hour constant numbness in my hands and feet in 2018, to a little bit lighter in 2019, to 2020 when sometimes these symptoms disappeared for a period of time, to 2021 when the symptoms nearly disappeared but the feeling of recurrence still came back at times, and then to 2022 when I had almost forgotten about MS because the softness and numbness in my hands and feet had completely disappeared. It is only now that I dare to stand up bravely and say I am really cured. This is because I have been free of the MS symptoms for >1 year. I am really grateful to the Bodhisattva! Buddhist scriptures have created miracles for me.
Maybe readers will think I have not done diagnosis tests. How can I tell if I have MS? First of all, my physical symptoms are the same as my mom's. Secondly, this disease is divided into hereditary and non-hereditary forms. Unfortunately, my mom's is hereditary, and she has test results for it. Furthermore, I've googled too much information just hoping it's something else and my faulty senses. One article had a message conversation that caused me to fall into the abyss. That person had the same disease and had been diagnosed, and mine was exactly the same. Honestly, I couldn't go to the hospital for a checkup, because I really couldn't face this reality.
Even though I had already practiced Buddhism, any time I thought of having MS it literally broke me down. Sometimes I would wonder why my hands and feet were still numb and weak after reciting Buddhist scriptures for so long and releasing so many lives. Why is it still not healed? This type of thought made me collapse. After collapsing, I decided to continue practicing because of the fact that this disease cannot be cured medically. Reading Buddhist practitioners’ shared presentations is my only motivation. So many rare and intractable diseases were cured, I firmly believe that the Bodhisattva will save me, too. I don't think words can really express my inner world. My heart always experiences breaking down and healing itself over and over again; then breaking down again and healing itself again.
I am grateful to my cousin for accompanying me all the way and listening to me pour out my sufferings. I am also grateful to Buddhist practitioner Liren for always encouraging me and telling me that this is karma and that reciting the scriptures can eliminate karma. It is only by reciting Buddhist scriptures properly and persistently that I have become the person I am now.
I have changed the most in 2022. This year is also the year of the greatest vow power. After I studied Buddhism in Plain Terms, I understood many truths. Before 2022, I used to recite Buddhist scriptures without understanding why. My mind was not cultivated well, and my merits and virtues were leaked. Before 2022, I ate vegetarian food with five pungent spices. In 2022, I made a vow to be a full-time vegetarian without five pungent spices, be one of the hands and eyes of Guan Yin Bodhisattva to widely transform sentient beings, release 100,000 fish, and recite 1,200 Little Houses specifically for my MS.
As my Master taught, the greater the vow, the greater the merits and virtues, and the faster the karmic obstacles are cleared. Today, sitting here and reminiscing, I am fortunate. This is because I met the Dharma before my karmic obstacles fully flared up. As a result, I was able to pass a major calamity in my life.
I hope my sharing will bring hope to more new Buddhist practitioners! Studying Buddhism and reciting Buddhist scriptures is not superstition. It can really help us dissolve all the problems on earth.
My sharing has come to an end. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the truth in the presentation, I'd like to seek forgiveness from Namo Sakyamuni Buddha, the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, and Dharma protectors. I’d appreciate my fellow practitioners' critique and correction!
I, not my fellow practitioners, will be responsible for my own karma!
Presenter: Dharma Practitioner LanLan
Posted: 2023-07-27
Translator: Frank
Published: 2023-08-25
Statement by translator
The story was translated from Chinese into English by meaning, not word by word. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the true meaning of the Chinese version, I pray for forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
Propagation
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: [sunnypurplelily@gmail.com](mailto:sunnypurplelily@gmail.com)
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下：
90后师兄含泪分享：医学无法治愈的多发性硬化症通过学佛念经彻底痊愈
——心灵法门网友反馈
2023-07-27
感恩南无释迦牟尼佛！
感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨摩诃萨！
感恩十方三世一切诸佛菩萨！
感恩龙天护法菩萨！
感恩恩师慈父！
感恩师兄们！
很高兴能在身体健康的状态下和大家分享我的学佛之路。我是一名90后，我也是一名虔诚的佛教徒，只不过，我只是信佛，会烧香，会拜佛，却不会读经。在我的意识中，念经是出家师父的事。后面接触佛法才明白，只要愿意，在家出家都可以念经。
我是在2018年暑假的时候接触佛法，那年我是连着生完两个孩子，身体状态特别差，几乎每晚都失眠，经常10点左右睡，1点左右醒，然后就开始失眠。白天又要带孩子做家务，整个人经常觉得体力不支。
有次晚上无意想起表妹会抄经，我想着自己在家没事这样失眠浪费时间还不如也抄经，既可以修心也可以练练字。然后就上网搜索，网上说抄经对菩萨不尊敬，然后又打消了这个念头，又想着读经，结果网上搜索了几种经文，都觉得不适合自己。
也许是佛缘成熟，也许是菩萨慈悲我，没多久我在网上看见一篇文章说念经可以改变命运，我就随缘在下面留言说：念经，真的可以改变命运吗？这样一来二往，我加上了那位师兄。
印象最深的是，学佛念经都是免费的，不会有任何费用。在网上她给我分享了好多经文资料，后面也给我邮寄了法宝，我收到后就开始念经，坚持到孩子开学，孩子开学后每天很忙碌，就不想读经了，经文组合小房子读了几张，也没有烧送，就这样一直放着。也许是这个原因提前激活了业障。
到了冬季，我发现我头痛的频率高了，而且有些奇怪的还出现左偏头痛，还有身体左边有些发软、发麻，特别是左边的脚指头和左边的手，当时也有怀疑是不是和我妈妈的病一样，但也只是怀疑，不敢过多地想。直到12月，我妈又因为身体原因需要去省城住院，结果这次住院的经历让我发现，我妈这个病是遗传病，遗传女性的概率很大，然后我在网上搜索多发性硬化症的初级症状，再对照自己的身体状况。整个人都开始崩溃了，那年我是26周岁，正逢“三六九”关劫。
那会我也刚结婚两年，我不敢告诉我先生，我怕这个家会散，而且我生的是两个女儿，我也怕她们会遗传。我也不敢告诉爸妈，我怕给我妈造成心理压力。就这样一个人扛着，精神每天处于崩溃的状态。
回到家后，我就突然想起师兄朋友圈分享的癌症都能好，我又联系度我的师兄，哭着和她说了我的事，问她我念经真的能好吗，记得她非常坚定地回复我说一定能好。就这样，我又开始了念经的道路，只不过这次带着希望在读，更加坚定了一些，因为这个病在医学上无法解决，只有控制，我没有任何办法，想通过佛法来改变命运。
此后，我疯狂地看分享，参考大家的灵验分享，看大家如何许愿放生做功德。有次我对着天空许愿放生1000元的鱼，念诵多少张经文组合小房子。当时这个左边的身体发软发麻的状态就轻了许多，我当时觉得好神奇，也给我增加了一点念经的信心。此后，我看大家分享吃素好，我就许愿一个月两次，再一个月10天，再后面吃全素。
我许愿吃全素这个过程很短，因为我想早点让自己好。可事情总是不尽人意，时好时坏。在念经这段道路上，我也经常梦见亡人，有一次还梦见自己把一车的人弄得掉进河里死了，醒来后赶紧地许愿给他们读诵经文组合小房子。师父说过，每个人都是带着业障来到这个世界，只有通过不断地念经做功德还债才能化解这些业障。所以，我知道这是我前世的业障，要么用身体还，要么用经文还。我选择后者，用经文去忏悔我的过往。所以此后，只要梦见亡人，我都会许愿读经文组合小房子。
我也深深忏悔，我曾经背后乱嚼舌头，说了太多人家的坏话，做了太多背后阴人的事；曾经不明因果，劝人离婚；曾经迷恋世间的情爱，看了太多的爱情小说和电视剧，导致福报尽损；曾经爱占小便宜，做了很小偷小摸的事；我现在都深深地忏悔，愿意用我的余生好好地修心修行，好好地学佛念经念经文组合小房子还债。
经过我不断地读经消业，我的症状也有所改善，从2018年的24小时手脚持续发麻，到2019年的症状轻了一点，再到2020年有时这些症状会消失一段时间，再到2021年，症状可以说消失，但有时还是会复发的感觉，再到2022年，我几乎把这个病给忘记了，因为手脚那些发麻发软的感觉都消失了。直到现在，我才敢勇敢站出来说，我真的好了，因为我已经有一年多没有这些症状了。真的感恩菩萨！经文的灵验在我这里创造了奇迹。
也许大家会觉得我没有做任何检查，如何判定自己就是这个病呢？首先，是身体的症状和我妈妈的一样；其次，这个病分遗传和不遗传，很不巧，我妈的是遗传，这个是有检测报告的；再者，我上网搜了太多的资料，就希望是其他原因，是我的错感。尤其有一篇文章的留言对话，让我跌入深渊，对方也是这个病，已经确诊，而我的是一模一样，说实话，我真的没法去医院检查，我真的没法面对这个现实。
虽然我已经念经了，但一想到这个问题我真的每次都是崩溃。就这样我抱着念经的信念，坚持了一年，有一点点地改变，有时候也会怀疑，我已经读了这么久的经，我放生这么多了，为啥还是手脚发麻发软？为什么还是不见好转？崩溃之后依旧是继续，因为这个病真的医学上没法解决，看着师兄们的分享，是我唯一的动力。那么多的疑难杂症都能好，我坚信菩萨会救我的。我觉得文字真的无法来表达我的内心世界。内心总是反反复复地崩溃，自愈；再崩溃，再自愈。
这一路感谢我的表姐，一路的陪伴我，听着我倾诉苦水；也感谢丽人师兄，一直鼓励我，告诉我，这个就是业障，读经就能消业障，好好读，坚持读，才成就的现在的我。我在2022年变化最大，这年也是愿力最大，我学习《白话佛法》，明白了很多的道理，以前就是一味地读经，根本不明白，心没修好，功德有漏。我之前吃素都是吃带五辛的，2022年我许愿全素，许了做菩萨的千手千眼广度有缘人，许了余生放生10万条鱼，还针对这个病许愿1200张经文组合小房子，已经烧送了一部分。就像师父说的，愿力越大，功德越大，业障也消得快些。所以今天坐在这里回忆过往，我是幸运的，在业障还没全面爆发，我遇见佛法，让我化解了人生的一道大坎。也希望我的分享能给更多的新人带来希望的光！学佛念经不是迷信，是真的可以帮助我们化解人间所有问题。
我的分享结束了，分享中如有不如理不如法的地方，请南无释迦牟尼佛慈悲原谅，请南无大慈大悲观世音菩萨慈悲原谅，请十方三世一切诸佛菩萨和龙天护法菩萨慈悲原谅，请师兄们批评指正。我自己的业障自己背，不让师兄们背。
分享人：蓝蓝师兄
来自：师父博客
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Disclaimer of Liability:
The contents of the presentation and answers, including text, images, and other information obtained from Dharma practitioners, are provided strictly for reference purposes. Due to the unique nature of individual karma, results similar to those experienced by the authors may not be replicated. The experiences and advice shared should not be construed as medical advice or a diagnosis.
In the event of an emergency, it is crucial to promptly contact your doctor or emergency services by dialing 911. Relying on any information found in the answers is done solely at your own risk. The translator and answerer bear no responsibility for the consequences. By using or misusing the contents, you accept liability for any personal injury, including death. It is imperative to exercise caution and seek professional medical guidance for health-related concerns.

This is my attempt at a re-submission due to some misunderstandings on the first attempt. I now know that there are different definitions of the word “ship”, but for the purposes of this article and to keep things simple I will use the definition of “a relationship that’s rushed and/or forced with no real development.” I hope you can understand as I do not know of any other single word to describe that concept. If you do, perhaps you can tell me. Also, fair warning, this is long form content (some 10 pages), if you like it but can’t read it all at once you can save it and come back to it over a period of time, or you can stop reading whenever you get tired of it and still discuss those parts of it with me that you have read. But keep it civil if you want a civil response.
With that, to qualify the title, no, Ezra and Sabine do NOT absolutely have to be a couple, but if they were to become one, it would NOT be a ship. Ezra and Sabine’s relationship has had years of development. Could they remain as simply friends? Yes, but ironically, it was their “friendship” that felt like more of a ship. It felt like the Ahsoka show, helmed by Dave Filoni, was going out of its way to tell us: “no, they’re not a couple, they’re just friends.”
I believe that Filoni made some very poor writing choices to stress something that didn’t really need to be stressed, such that it almost felt like he was in denial. The line “I love you like a sister” was never in Rebels, Filoni essentially had that retconned in, and like many I was put off by their (largely) emotionless reunion. Even if they were “just friends” I believe there would be a great deal more emotion displayed between two people that hadn’t seen each other in some ten years, especially when one of them was in a precarious situation when they parted. I also believe Ezra would be far more curious about Sabine being Force sensitive, perhaps even offering to help train her when she told him that her training hadn’t gone as well with Ahsoka. He did help to train her with the Darksaber, didn’t he? Why that never came up is another discussion, but for now, let’s focus on shipping.
In case you think I’m desperate to have them as a couple, no I’m not. I’m about the furthest thing from it. Like many millennials and Gen-Z’ers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers) I DESPISE shipping. Absolutely DESPISE it. With a flaming passion. Perhaps for this reason, and maybe some others, like many millennials and Gen-Z’ers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers), I’m generally wary of nearly all romance in fiction, and generally avoid it in my own work. The sad reality is that romance is perhaps the most abused genre in all of fiction, all throughout history. It has been so badly abused that many people, including myself for the longest time, have equated romance with shipping, though I’m slowly beginning to see that they are not the same thing, and one does not necessarily have to go with the other.
But sadly, many writers, through time immemorial, have not been able to separate them, going back into ancient times and perhaps even into pre-history, that is before languages were actually written down. Some of what is considered great literature; classics like Romeo and Juliet, are predicated on shipping, though at least the consequences of this “whirlwind romance” are shown to be fairly stark. Star Wars itself is no stranger to shipping, resulting in a very awkward incestuous kiss when Luke was shipped with Leia, then Leia was placed with Han and Lucas made Luke and Leia brother and sister, apparently having forgotten his original ship. Later Lucas essentially shipped Anakin and Padme, resulting in some of the most cringeworthy dialog in the history of film. Many fans of the Prequels even have been somewhat critical of Anakin’s portrayal, particularly in regards to the “romantic” scenes, with many describing them as “creepy”. Some have speculated that this was intentional, though personally I think it was just the result of bad writing on the part of George Lucas, and an impatience on his part for Anakin and Padme to become a couple, hence “shipping”.
One might wonder why this is so prevalent in fiction, and tragically, one does not have to look far. Fiction is merely a reflection of reality, therefore the reason that shipping is so common in our stories is that we fall so easily into it in real life. Indeed, entire cultures may be based around shipping, or at least very heavily wrapped up in it. Throughout history arranged marriages have been the norm, and the idea of marrying for “love” is something relatively new. To be fair, I’ve actually met people in arranged marriages who seemed to be fairly happy, but those same people were very open in telling me that many despise that aspect of their culture, and that it is quite normal for those in an arranged marriage to try to get out.
People might come together for “love” without marrying, but even then it often creates expectations that might turn into a burden. Even when a marriage is voluntary and for “love”, people are often left unsatisfied, such that today in the West the divorce rate is something like 50%. Happy, stable, long term relationships seem to be the exception across cultures and across the breadth and width of time. And yet pursuit of love and some kind of relationship seems to be the highest calling for many people, both in real life and in fiction. And it could be that the accumulated disgust is finally starting to boil over.
To be fair, this may not be the first time in history that the pendulum has shifted. You may recall that in Victorian times attitudes changed drastically, as compared to the previously bawdy Elizabethan times. Looking at a play from Shakespear, if you can understand the language, you’ll see all kinds of vulgar references, as well as what I believe are fairly sappy romances like in the aforementioned Romeo and Juliet, though I can’t say for certain whether Shakespear was actually endorsing that type of attitude towards “love” or presenting it as a cautionary tale, maybe even something to be ridiculed in some of his other plays.
But regardless, Victorians as you may well know had a very conservative attitude towards anything to do with romance, and would often avoid the subject in many places, or tread very carefully around it, as if walking on eggshells. It’s not that people stopped being romantic, in fiction or real life, but it was treated as something very serious and even dangerous, with many urges repressed or even suppressed entirely. This had all kinds of effects on society, both positive and negative. On the positive side, it reinforced the ideal of people being committed to their partners, and of marriage as a sacred institution rather than a “casual hookup” as was more common in Elizabethan times. Likewise it reinforced ideals of modesty and chastity, which may be coming back into vogue, though under different names. But just as there were positive aspects to these attitudes, so were there negative ones.
Just because the urges I described were repressed did not mean that they disappeared. In fact, they often morphed into things that many would consider “unhealthy”. From one statistic that I saw, in Victorian times about one in every 60 houses was a brothel, with the modern rate being closer to one in 6000. Additionally, the rights of women were often repressed, such that they could not fully express themselves and find their own identity, and path in life, as individuals. Just as Elizabethan ideals gave way to Victorian ones, so did the Victorian ideals gradually begin to erode.
Perhaps it began with the Jazz Age of the 1920’s (the “Roaring Twenties”), or with the increased interconnectivity of people traveling to different parts of the world during World War I, not to mention the cynicism that pervaded throughout the West in response to failed old ideals leading to the deadliest war in history up to that point, but many Victorian ideals began to be seen as a joke, and even resented for their “oppression”, which to be fair was not entirely unjustified. But regardless, people gradually, and at times not so gradually, became more and more “liberated” and promiscuous. This culminated in the Sexual Revolution in the late 1960’s, when what had previously been seen as a vice and even a sin was now seen as not only “normal” but as a healthy form of expression, a virtue even. And just as these ideas were embraced in real life, so too were they reflected in our films, TV shows, and other media, often to the consternation of older people and institutions, like the Vatican. The Catholic Church even went so far as to “ban” certain films, that is to declare them immoral for good Catholics to watch. Many of the films that were banned back then, or at least controversial, like The Graduate with Dustin Hoffman, are fairly tame by today’s standards.
It continued through the 70’s, at times warming and at times cooling through the rest of the century, until you could argue it reached a kind of crescendo in the early 21st century with the advent of so-called “dark romance” and the publication of books like Fifty Shades of Grey. (Ironically, many of the themes within this “dark romance” can trace their roots back to the Victorian era, yet another indication that repressing urges without addressing them often doesn’t work out as one might hope.) But as happens all too often, just as something reaches peak popularity is when it begins to go out of style, and that is what we may be experiencing right now. As weird as it may sound, we may actually have come full circle and may be on the cusp of a “New Victorian Age” (complete with “dark romance”, even). Web sites like Porn Hub and OnlyFans, as well as other similar sites, may be the new “brothels”, and what was once openly celebrated may be going underground, to an extent. The effects of this on society have been interesting to say the least, and at times I would even say bizarre.
Whilst many younger people seem content with these changes, many older people are concerned. I’ve seen a number of books, films, and other media receive positive reviews for example based specifically on their lack of romance. Many of these books/films, etc. fall into the “young adult” category, meaning that it is young adults obviously who mostly consume them. At the same time I’ve heard a number of older people, mostly boomers and Gen-Xers, criticize these same books/films for their lack of romance. Even some older millennials seem upset by the changes, as perhaps evidenced by Jennifer Lawrence’s latest film No Hard Feelings (though to be fair that film may be lampooning the older generation’s frustration as well as the younger generation’s frigidity). So just as in the past older people were concerned about the promiscuity of the youth, now it actually appears that many older people are concerned about the youth’s lack of promiscuity.
Who could have seen that coming? But to be fair, the younger generation hasn’t gone completely frigid. As stated earlier, much of the promiscuity has gone “underground”, or online, which many would argue is not very healthy as it might undermine actual relationships, whether they are romantic in nature or simple friendships. And speaking of that, friendships within stories nowadays often aren’t portrayed in a very authentic or compelling manner, perhaps because in ditching romance modern writers haven’t quite yet learned how to replace it with something else. In other words, the “New Victorian Age” may not be an exact repeat of the previous one, but may have its own twists and turns, for better and for worse.
This may all essentially be a manifestation of the Human Condition, in that we just can’t seem to find a happy medium, neither in real life nor in fiction. Thus we keep swinging from one extreme to the other, apparently getting wilder with each swing.
So where does all this leave us? What is it that we really want in our lives, and in our stories? Especially in regards to relationships? I think at some level we all want to see good and healthy relationships between people and/or characters, whether romantic or platonic. I believe at some point we would like to see good examples of both friendship and romance, and I would argue that the best examples of romance have them combined. Even a toxic relationship, if well portrayed or documented, can be instructive and serve as a good example of what to avoid in our lives that we might be happier and relate better to each other. A good relationship, by contrast, can give us something to aspire to and inspire us to not only look for the right kind of person to complement our lives, but to make ourselves worthy of that person. And here I’ll add that I’m perfectly aware that in real life (and thus in fiction) relationships can be very complicated and heavily nuanced, with elements of both “good” and “bad” in them. Just as people change over time so can the relationships between them change, at times getting better and at times worse, sometimes breaking entirely and sometimes growing stronger. Relationships can have just as many layers and dimensions as characters, more even perhaps, and a skilled writer should be able to reflect this complexity. At other times a relationship can be fairly straightforward, simplicity sometimes being the best approach. But regardless, the audience should be able to relate and identify with what they are seeing, such that hopefully they can incorporate the lessons from it in their own lives.
Where can we find good examples of relationships to study? There may be a number of them in the real world, but the trouble with studying real world relationships is that they’re often much more complicated than fictional ones (just as real people are more complicated than fictional characters), and for many of them it is almost impossible to know all the details and nuances because they are often kept private, understandably so, and even if they aren’t it can still be difficult, due to unique circumstances, to see how to relate them to our own lives. Additionally there may be far more disagreement about a real life situation than a fictional one, with many more points of view. To keep things simple, for the purpose of this article I would like to focus on fictional relationships. (And fair warning, there will be some spoilers.)
One of the best places to look, I would argue, would be the films of Hayao Miyazaki. (And this is pretty significant to Star Wars as you will see in a bit.) A film of his that stands out to me the most is Princess Mononoke. Like many of Miyazaki’s films it has elements of romance, and yet subverts them in a way that makes complete sense and feels very genuine, without taking away from any of the accompanying charm. It starts with two young people, San and Ashitaka, and as soon as they encounter each other there is a kind of expectation of romance. This may be inevitable to some degree when you have a man and a woman of about the same age encounter each other in a story, especially if they happen to be adolescents. The expectation may not be inherently bad, and Miyazaki does play with it. Both characters are thrust into dangerous situations, at various points end up saving each other’s lives, and at a certain point I think it is obvious that they have feelings for each other. I was certain that at the end of the film, they would be together, and if things had gone that way, it would make complete sense. Instead, they go in different directions, but remain good friends, and considering their backgrounds and differing worldviews, this ends up making even more sense to the story.
Essentially, Miyazaki could have gone for the more conventional, tried and true “love conquers all” narrative, where the characters’ feelings for each other would negate everything that comes between them, they would somehow find a common ground in spite of their differences, the romance would not only take over the narrative but somehow also solve all the problems in the story, and then the couple would live “happily ever after”. Such an approach is not inherently bad or wrong, and is fairly common in Western media and storytelling. We can see it in films like Fern Gully, and more recently James Cameron’s Avatar, both of which have been compared to Princess Mononoke. As you can probably guess, the problem is that at a certain point such a narrative can become fairly simplistic, and lack nuance.
Miyazaki’s films, by contrast, are very heavily nuanced, and are anything but simplistic. In Princess Mononoke the characters San and Ashitaka don’t help each other simply because they are “in love”, but because it is the right thing to do, regardless of how they might feel about each other. Yes, romantic feelings are certainly alluded to, but they are not essential to the plot, for it could have worked just as well without any romantic allusions. And ironically, this makes those allusions even more valid, even if they are unrequited. How so?
Consider that if love is essential to a given narrative, is it not relegated to being nothing more than a plot device? Again, this is quite common in Western media and storytelling, and is not inherently bad or wrong, but when it becomes a trope or cliche, I believe it is the essence of where shipping comes from. Many storytellers get caught up in this, usually without realizing it, and while a story can still work even with shipping, I believe that it usually works that much better without it.
This extends not only to Miyazaki’s handling of romance but also to other things like environmentalism, the conflict between man and nature, and the contrasting ideals of human progress vs. preserving the natural order. Movies like Fern Gully and Avatar, as already mentioned, handle these themes in a fairly simplistic and I would even say hamfisted manner, whereby all progress and technology is shown as being inherently “bad” and in service to “evil”, while everything that’s “natural” is shown to be inherently “good”. Even our notions of good and evil, and right vs. wrong, are challenged by Miyazaki, with nearly all of his characters having complex motives and multiple dimensions to them, as well as understandable reasons for doing the things that they do. Rarely can any one of his characters be branded as a simple “villain”, and rarely is any one individual the source of conflict in his stories, again in contrast to most Western narratives.
I’ll reiterate once more, a simple, straightforward narrative is not inherently a bad thing, whether the themes being dealt with are romantic or anything else. Sometimes it is in fact the best approach. But the best stories in my opinion are usually the most nuanced, that challenge our notions of what we believe to be true, and that force us to think about what we do with our lives and what we could do differently. To that end Miyazaki introduces all manner of themes and motifs within his films that are familiar to us but shows them in a light most of us might not have considered, thus giving more dimension to our understanding of things.
“How is any of this related to Star Wars?” you might ask. It is quite related, and you don’t even have to look all that closely to see it. A very influential figure within Star Wars was very heavily inspired by the works of Miyazaki, and that figure is Dave Filoni.
This video shows the connections in some detail:
https://youtu.be/Q_4L0BbSpHo?si=04jDo6qFCnZT135w
But to summarize if you’ve seen any of Miyazaki’s films, especially Princess Mononoke, I think the callbacks in Filoni’s work will be all too obvious, especially in Star Wars Rebels. Some of the scenes in Filoni’s work look like they were taken directly from Miyazki’s films, and many of the same themes and motifs often come up. The relationship between San and Ashitaka I would argue is very similar to the relationship between Ezra and Sabine, and not just because both couples rode wolves together.
Incidentally, Dave Filoni was also heavily involved in Avatar: The Last Airbender, which I would also argue was at least to some degree inspired if not by Miyazaki then by Japanese anime in general. The relationship between Aang and Katara was developed with great care and was allowed to build very slowly, as opposed to simply shipping them. Likewise other characters very gradually developed as individuals and in their relationships, at times stumbling as they did so, and making mistakes, before finding their way back to the right path.
All of this is in stark contrast to George Lucas, whose character development is often very rushed at best, and at times some might say almost non-existent. So essentially, even though Lucas has said that Filoni has been “like a son” to him, and I believe referred to Filoni as his “padawan”, I would argue that Filoni is ultimately as much a student of Miyazaki as he is of Lucas.
Again, you might ask, “What does all this mean for Star Wars?” It means a great many things. It means that Dave Filoni has taken Miyazaki’s lessons to heart, and can handle things like romance, as well as other kinds of relationships, quite well most of the time. Like Miyazaki he can play with romance, tease the audience with it at times even, leave the romance unrequited, and yet still have it feel satisfying. A prime example of this is the love triangle that Ahsoka was involved in with the young Separatist Senator, Lux Bonteri, and Steela Gerrera. As wary as I am of romance and as much as I despise shipping, love triangles I normally despise even more, but this one seemed to actually work. It never took over the main story, and even though Ahsoka’s feelings were ultimately not reciprocated, she still learned from the experience, and grew and developed further as a character because of it. The other characters involved in this triangle also grew and developed from their involvement, though unfortunately not all of them made it. All in all it was a good bit of storytelling and gave the audience something to consider.
When a relationship in one of Filoni’s stories does bloom into a full blown romance he also generally handles it quite well. For one Filoni is sparing with actual romance, so that when it does occur, it can be that much more appreciated. And rather than rushing or shipping it, Filoni normally takes his time to build it up. An example of this is the relationship between Kanan and Hera. Some might argue that this is perhaps the best developed romance in all of Star Wars, at least in Canon. Built up over four seasons, at times it wasn’t certain whether it was a romance or a friendship, or perhaps even a professional partnership. Perhaps even the characters themselves were not certain, though it was hinted all throughout the narrative that something was going on. To this day I don’t believe anyone can say definitively when it became an actual romance, and I believe Filoni did this intentionally because he wanted to be subtle, rather than making things too obvious and having the romance take over the narrative, as it usually does. When it finally did become obvious as to what was happening, it felt very much earned, in a way that is seldom accomplished in other works of fiction, including Star Wars.
The relationship between Ezra and Sabine was also fairly well written, for the most part anyway, at least in Star Wars Rebels. Ezra was almost immediately smitten with Sabine, but being a young teenage boy, it was understandable that he would feel that way about an attractive girl. Over time he learned to see her more respectfully, as a colleague and even as part of his adopted family, not just as a pretty face. Sabine for her part found Ezra annoying at first (c’mon, what teenage boy isn’t?), but as he matured and she found out more about him she came to understand and respect him more, and see him as a friend and almost a brother, with there being potential for something more.
There were times when the relationship could have been better written, like in the episode “Blood Sisters”, where Ezra was written to be a bit too immature to make Sabine look wiser. But overall, the bond between them developed fairly well; both saved one another at various times, and took risks and made sacrifices for each other’s sake. Both reassured and comforted the other when they needed it, and it was endearing to hear their banter when they became more familiar and trusting of each other.
So why then was I so disappointed in how they were portrayed in the Ahsoka show? The thing is, after how well their relationship was built up in Rebels, as I’ve already mentioned it was strange to see how lackluster and uninspired their reunion was.
Within the Ahsoka show itself Sabine was shown to be almost obsessed with finding Ezra, living in what used to be his home, watching a recording of him over and over again, and calling out his name as she woke up in the middle of the night. She even risked bringing Thrawn back into the Galaxy, which ultimately happened, just so she could see Ezra again. After all that, when she finally does encounter him, her reaction seems fairly casual, as does his, as if they’ve been apart for no more than a week, rather than 10 years. Not too much happens between them afterwards either. Like I said Ezra does not appear all that curious about what happened with Sabine, how she found him, and how it was that she was now Force sensitive. Sabine likewise did not seem curious about what had happened with Ezra, and how he had gotten away from Thrawn. And with Ezra rescued and returned home, suddenly it didn’t seem as though Sabine was all that interested in him anymore, nor he all that concerned with her, though they were just as far apart as they had been at the start of the show. To be completely honest it made me wonder what the point of the whole show was. Were they just working to set up Thrawn’s return to the Galaxy? As some have said, Ezra felt like nothing more than a Macguffin in the show. Was Sabine and Ahsoka’s search for him just a plot device?
Considering how skillfully Dave Filoni had written his stories in the past, what happened in this latest project of his does not make much sense. Was he so concerned about “shipping” and so desperate to avoid it that he inadvertently “shipped” them in the other direction? Was there some sort of external pressure on him about how to write this story to have more of an appeal to “modern audiences”? Maybe some combination of those factors?
And here I’ll add that when I say “modern audiences” I don’t mean that in a contemptuous sense, though you may think I do. If there is any contempt on my part it is for those in charge of telling our stories, or those in charge of those telling our stories, who do not seem to grasp these basic truths. The truth is that audiences at their core don’t really change throughout the ages, only superficially so. Trends come and go but certain truths and ideals are eternal, and universal. How people relate to each other fundamentally does not change, whether they are friends, or more than friends. And deep down, I believe everyone (or nearly everyone at least) wants the same things. Nearly everyone at some point wants some kind of a connection with another human being, to know that they are not alone in the world, and to know that there is someone else who sees and understands things as they do. While this desire can certainly lead to abuse, and absolutely has, it is still innate to us and is not inherently wrong. Finding ways of connecting and relating to other people is one of the great challenges of life, but many would argue it is the most worthwhile of challenges. It may be the whole point of life if you think about it. As complex as it may be, many would argue it is what makes life worth living, and likewise makes for the best stories. Just as it may be the whole point of life many would say that is what most stories are about at their core: people trying to relate to one another.
Sadly, just as in real life, most stories unfortunately don’t quite get it, and the Ahsoka show in my opinion was an example of this, made all the sadder by the fact that Dave Filoni had done quite well with these characters up to that point. We may never know for certain what exactly went wrong and why, or if it can ever be “fixed” at this point, but I can’t help but feel curious. Maybe in the future Filoni will find a way to make it make sense, but I’m not sure how. And to be completely honest I don’t feel quite as enthusiastic to find out as I used to.
Also for the record I would like to add here that there are other factors that put me off from the show, such as Sabine’s Force sensitivity, that came about without much build up. But in this article I specifically wanted to focus on shipping because there seems to be so much misunderstanding around it.
I hope that I was able to clarify some, if not most of this misunderstanding, so that people could better appreciate what shipping is, where it comes from, as well as what it isn’t. Many people today are understandably sick of shipping characters, myself included. But I hope people realize that in overcompensating for something, we often come back around into the very thing that we are overcompensating for. Or sometimes, into something even worse. This may apply to nearly every facet of life, by the way, not just shipping. Finding a happy medium in how we portray our fictional relationships may help us to better understand relationships in real life, as well as how to navigate them. Neither fictional nor actual relationships can ever be perfect but they can always be better. To this understanding then I hope that I was able to give my own modest contribution, and if nothing else I hope we can connect on that.

I made a post here a few days ago about how the (UK) press got involved in the Madeleine case thanks to independent actions by the McCanns and their friends, even though the PJ officers that reported to the scene around 1 a.m. explicitly told them not to go to the media.
Some replies pointed to the incompetence and/or indifference of the Portuguese investigators, suggesting the McCanns were justified in taking matters into their own hands and deciding to overrule the authorities. This made me wonder about the response they’d likely get from the UK police if Madeleine had gone missing in her home country. So I dug a little deeper and got informed about local protocols.
First, the concept of readily involving the media in a missing child case can be attributed to the AMBER Alert, a child abduction alert system implemented in the US “to ask the public for help in finding abducted children”. It was named after 9 year-old Amber Rene Hagerman, who was confirmed to have been abducted in 1996 and found dead days later (sadly, the culprit was never apprehended). She was playing alone in a local parking lot and a neighbor happened to witness her being taken. This neighbor, who proactively called 911, was also able to describe the captor and the vehicle he was driving.
In popular imagination, people often think that police should alert the media by default. "If LE doesn’t ring a fellow journalist minutes after arriving at the scene, they’re being incompetent, they’re failing you." That’s not quite so. In fact, for an AMBER alert to be issued, all of the following criteria – according to the guidance established by the U.S. Department of Justice – MUST be met:

1. Law enforcement must confirm that an abduction has taken place.
2. The child must be at risk of serious injury or death.
3. There must be sufficient descriptive information of child, captor, or captor's vehicle to issue an alert.
4. The child must be under 18 years of age.

By following the established criteria, a media operation set in place in those early hours – by the initiative of law enforcement, and with consent of the family – usually results in a statement like this:
"6 year old boy abducted from Oxford Bus Station at 1.45pm today. He is described as wearing a Leicester City football top with ginger hair. The offender forced him into a white transit van, with ladders on the roof. He has long greasy hair, aged 40-45 with dark clothing Any information – please call (this number)"
As you see here, there’s a description of the victim and enough information about the captor for the public to aid in a successful rescue. Channels are obliged to report the carefully drafted police statement - they don't have free range to turn this into a speculative coverage.
A case like Madeleine’s – even if Portugal had some kind of AMBER alert in place (it didn’t, precisely because such crimes were and continue to be extremely rare over there) – wouldn’t even qualify in the US for the police to summon the media.
By 1 a.m., first responders could never confirm that an abduction had taken place (Madeleine could have wandered off, and even if there was apparent physical evidence of an abduction, such as a broken window, there's no sufficient analysis to attest it wasn't staged). Most importantly, there was no descriptive information of “the captor or captor's vehicle to issue an alert” (there isn’t to this day, by the way). There were no witnesses to the actual abduction, like there was in Amber’s case.
I went on about the AMBER alert because that's the program that inspired UK's Child Rescue Alert (CRA), which was “first piloted by Sussex Police following the abduction and murder of Sarah Payne” and follows similar criteria:

1. The child is apparently under 18 years old;
2. There is reasonable evidence that the child has been kidnapped or abducted;
3. There is reasonable belief that the child is in imminent danger of serious harm or death;
4. There is sufficient information available to enable the public to assist police in locating the child.

Points 2 and 4 prevent Madeleine’s case from being eligible to an immediate media operation in the UK – without it, a CRA can't be issued. But even if all the criteria had been met, the subsequent procedures would involve “the appropriate regional newsroom in the case of television”, “the appropriate local radio stations in the case of radio”, and “the appropriate regional newspapers in the case of newspaper publishers”.
It’s clearly stated that “the CRA will be on a regional level, not a national level” – an international level, like the McCanns reaching out to British news outlets despite being in Portugal, is obviously out of the question. That’s because local coverage often leads to the most promising tips, while a nationwide appeal could result in a thousand useless tips coming in from all sorts of places (even those where the suspect couldn’t realistically drive to in that window of time). Yet all calls must be taken, all tips must be logged in, and countless men-hours are wasted. If we're talking about a worldwide coverage, you'd be getting sightings in Morocco.
Bottom line is: if your child goes missing, even if you’re certain it was an abduction and you’re desperate to go to the media and believes the officers refusing to do so after spending 10 minutes with you aren’t taking you seriously, that doesn’t mean you’re dealing with a bunch of doofus that don’t care about your baby. You would be compromising the case by going rogue. No question.
There are appropriate ways to get the media involved – such as LE scheduling a press conference when it’s deemed appropriate to do so -, and that's all up to the discretion of the authorities. The UK police wouldn’t have been able to act any differently than their Portuguese peers after arriving on the scene at 1 a.m. - and if the McCanns had dismissed their clearly stated orientation to not alert the media, you can bet they would have been held accountable.