We all know cheating in Conan, thanks to easily obtainable and relatively affordable hacks, is out of control especially in populated official PvP servers. The cheats, currently being offered by someone named Xetal, allows players to speed around the map, see through walls, chests, benches, beds, and unconscious players, and enter player bases regardless of server settings. A select few individuals even have the ability to loot every single piece of loot a player owns with a simple console command, something only admins have the power to do. This of course drives players away and Funcom continues to alienate their leftover dedicated playerbase by not acknowledging the issue at all and stonewalling us with silence.
I have friends who are in regular contact with Xetal who just released an update to the hacks today. The hacks now allow cheaters to change the time of day in-game at a whim, which may not seem like a big deal, until it's always night time or someone is constantly switching the lights on and off.There are new updates to what they can do to your thralls as well. It used to be that your most important loot would be safe on your thralls, especially outside raid. There have been many times where I would encounter a player with speed hacks and simply told my companions to stop following me as I accepted my inevitable death and loss of hard earned loot to the cheater. Not anymore! Your thralls and companions are now at the mercy of the same hitbox pulling many of us experience when facing someone with these cheats. Nothing you own is safe.
I have dedicated thousands of hours of my time into this game. Conan Exiles is my favorite game of all time, and I truly think it could be one of the best out there if Funcom wasn't so incompetent and ignored their player base. I thought the introduction of the battle pass and bazaar would help resolve many of the issues the game has, but nothing has been done. I have invested heavily into this game and seen no attempts to even acknowledge any of these issues. I am at the point where I am even ready to quit the game and put Funcom on my black list out of spite. I will never touch a game published by them again if this is never resolved.
However, I have not lost hope yet, and will continue to actively report these hacks, put an end to Xetal's business, and fight against anyone else with ambitions to ruin this game. I think hacking in the video game industry is generally ignored when it's an issue that should be prioritized above all else. Gaming companies themselves don't seem to have any interest in doing anything about this problem, so I believe it is up to the players to do something about it. Stop playing the game, don't purchase anything in the bazaar, spread this around like wildfire and MAYBE Funcom will be the one company that starts a revolution against these losers who actively try to ruin the gaming experience for everyone.
Don't let them win.

I have been dating this person on and off, and I am always the one who breaks it off due to something they did. The first time they cheated, second they constantly lied about me to others, and now this time because they once again cheated. When I break up with them they always lie about me to people. Saying I used them for adult fun time (which is far from the truth, they always convinced me to do it and they ignored my needs saying they thought it was gross to touch other people) and even telling all our friends that I was the one who was constantly cheating. Every time they want to get back with me they say that they are tired of living and everything is going wrong without me there. They say things like “I just wanna kill myself” or “everyone hates me so you do too”. I feel guilty that they think people hate them though, like I am the reason they are sad because I left them. I feel like a bad person and that all they do to hurt me is just me blowing things out of proportion, or I am the one to blame for what is happening to me and her. If this is manipulation please tell me what type and how to understand and accept that I need to move on. Thanks for your time, please have a nice day.

Hey reddit! I'm a 38 year old latin guy from Washington DC. Honesty is the best policy so I'll make it known now that I'm not looking for platonic friends, I'm looking for a romantic partner. Buckle up, because I'm about to unveil why I may or may not be the right partner for you in a classic listicle style that all you youngin's love.
About Me:
^{You'll never believe number 6!}

1. I'm a bit of a stoner. It's true, your boy loves himself some marijuana. (In fact, I just did a 20mg edible) I endeavor to never let it take over my life, but it aids a lot in #2 on this list. I'm also not a stranger to the very occasional mushroom trip.
2. I'm a true creative. Left to my own devices in an empty room, I would constantly create new things. Whether that be drawing, writings, photography, music or stoner ideas. It's my true nature to be a creative and to stifle that part of myself makes me pretty sad. Fortunately, I get to create on a daily basis. which brings me to..
3. I have the kindest heart. I see life through rose colored glasses, some may say. I just believe in the good in people. I think most people are good and those that are bad are redeemable. Whether someone is ultra religious, a different political affiliation, good, bad, ugly, whatever...I believe in getting to know them for myself and making my own decision of them. As a friend I always stick by my friends, no matter what. Friends in my life are friends for life, even if we lose touch. There is a downside to all this...it's that sometimes people take advantage of me. I don't care. When confronted with the choice to be loving or to be cruel or apathetic, I will always choose loving.
4. I make people laugh. Comedy and jokes have always been a part of me. Maybe it's the fact that I'm a middle child and craved attention or the fact that I grew up in a city where I had to be quick on my feet, but I love to make people laugh. This is best done in person but there can be humor over the internet too. :)
5. I don't take myself too seriously. I'm a talented person in my field and it's important for me to let go of my ego. There isn't a single person that I can't learn from and at my best I'm always open to listen to people's opinions of me or my creative work.
6. I see beauty in everyone, including you. If you hadn't guessed by now, I'm a photographer. I'm into portraits and I value my connection with people one-on-one and I think that's what makes me a talented portrait photographer. I often hear people talk about the things they hate about themselves but try to reflect to them their true beauty. The beauty that was always there and that they need to be reconnected to.
7. I'm culturally Latino. My parents are from El Salvador, but I was born and raised in DC. I have the experience of being born into a family of immigrants and understand the duality of living in two different worlds. While Spanish was my first language, it is not what I consider to be my native tongue. While I understand all Spanish, all my Spanish is food related.
8. I've done the self work. It's true. I'm not a man that punches walls, gets drunk and cries, will cheat on you, lie to you or a myriad of other things that toxic people do. I am not without faults, of course, but I have worked my demons out for the most part. I'm very self-aware and open to criticism and change.
9. I'm honest 99.5% of the time. Anyone professing to be honest 100% of the time is a liar. Ask me directly and I'll tell you my last big lie.
10. I know where I want to be in life. I'm close to getting there too. I've been at it for 13 years now and I feel that success is imminent. Will you be a part of it?

So what are you waiting for? Dust off that old keyboard, pound away at a few keys, and get ready to embark on an unforgettable adventure brought to you by (as they said in my day) the world wide web.
P.S - I'm 6'2. I should've started with that.

So, I've kind of posted about this in other threads, specifically on askreddit, but by some users request, I will do my best to fully relay this entire tale up to the current point, as well as provide as much context I am able (and will provide missing context if asked in comments).
TL;DR
A friend of mine of 4 years drank himself into liver failure and his wife cheated on him, so I offered him a free room to try and put his life back together, and I was repaid for the thought with a divorce of my own, but honestly, it's probably not that bad.
Part 1: CONTEXT
Me and my wife have been together since early 2014, and married in late 2017. We have been through much together, including two extended deployments, one of which was 10 and a half months long. We have traveled the world together, lived on both coasts of the US, and despite much of our struggles and how things eventually went down, I was always convinced we would work as a team to overcome any issues.
The friend in question was, largely, an online friend. We met playing an MMO during covid and we quickly formed a very tight knit, but small, community that were very close that included me, my wife, my friend, his wife, and 4 other friends. Covid was a wild time and I was surprised how easy it was to form friends in this group and we kept in touch, as a whole, even once quarantine had ended and most of us had moved on from that particular game. This was a group that, while it started online, we have met most of these people several times IRL and had vacations to spend time together and just hang out.
Part 2: His Problems
Fast forward to about January of 2024. My buddy, from here on out I will refer to as Z (and for a quick add, I will refer to my wife as D), contacts us to tell us his condition is dire and he has been diagnosed with stage 4 cirrhosis of the liver as a consequence of his extensive drinking. Shaken, we quickly charter a flight out to visit. Within a week, we're staying with him and his wife and his roommate and a couple members of his family who are taking care of him. This man is bloated, yellow, and probably about 350lbs now. We are worried, but stay supportive and positive that help can be found, especially since he seems keen on changing his lifestyle for the better. Some of his family start a gofundme that we donate to, and many of the people in our gaming circle who have grown close also donate several thousand dollars (One member of our raid team donated 10k. You never know who is stealth rich on the internet I guess). Me and several other friends discuss the possibilities of helping him get on disability and even getting ourselves tested as compatible living donors. Sad, but hopeful, we depart about a week later, and stay in constant touch.
About a month later, I'm getting a call from one of our mutuals letting me know that "Hey, so I may have goofed up." and tells me how Z's wife had visited him and had a 3 way with him and his wife. I am obviously irate at this and turn to back Z up with comments like "So much for in sickness and in health, huh?" I do what I can to stay supportive, and my wife, D, also makes it a point to stay in touch with him as he has found himself banished to the couch of his apartment. Not even allowed to sleep in his own bed and frequently uncomfortable even being in his bedroom to use the PC.
I'm not particularly rich, but I am not poor either. I served in the military and have a high VA rating which means a constant income and have a steady job and a couple side gigs that pay well enough. My love language, in many ways, is gift giving. I pride myself on being able to pick a good gift, even if it's a little early for an occasion such as a bday or christmas, and will often pull the trigger on something if it means a lot or I think it will help. In this case, my brother was selling an old steam deck because he wanted a new OLED model, so I figured "two birds, one stone", and buy the steam deck off him and send it to Z so we can still game together.
In the intervening months, Z and D start playing games that I have no interest in (Disney Dreamlight Valley), but I am happy to play other games and hang out and chat. Really, nothing seems amiss, but since his banishment, me and my wife are both pushing for him to come and take up the spare bedroom we have in our home. Soon enough, I buy him a plane ticket and he arrives with little more than the clothes on his back and we take him in, no cost other than the expectation that he might help around the house a bit (he was a chef, so having a cook and someone to help clean was ideal for me who often did not have the time or energy to handle these tasks as thoroughly as I would like).
Part 3: The Incident
Now, I am skipping ahead a little bit here, but there's not much to be said about the time between. My wife worked part time hours, and when she did go to work, she'd have him tag along just so he wouldn't "Sit and stew with bad thoughts" at the house alone. I will admit that throughout this entire ordeal, I have had several, several times where my brain tried to warn me, but I ignored ALL of those signs because I trusted him, but more importantly, I trusted her with my life.
One new, frequent argument I found myself having with her was she would fall asleep on the couch, and when I finally tried to go to bed, I'd do my best to wake her and drag her upstairs. These became extremely frequent occurrences and I expressed to her how frustrated I was that I had to fight with her just to come to bed so we could sleep (mind you, this is not even about sex. Often I'm taking her to bed at like, 1am and I work at 7, so I really just wanted her to be sleeping in the bed). Hell, one time, I started catching the vibes that the longer I sat and waited for her to be ready to go upstairs, she just never would be, because they were waiting for me to leave so they could talk in hushed tones. On THAT particular night, I went upstairs alone with her finally awake, and she did not join me for another half hour.
Finally, the day arrives. Its Sunday. We are all downstairs hanging out. One of their newest habits I can't really stand but just dealt with is that she'd sit and crochet while he doomscrolled or strummed on a guitar I bought him and listen to music videos on youtube endlessly. Eventually, I grow weary and give my wife a kiss and tell her I'm gonna go upstairs and play some GW2 for a bit.
About an hour passes, and she enters the game room and tells me "I am uncomfortable. I really need to talk to you. Oh, you're dying!" (As she entered the room, I immediately turn face to talk to her and disregard the game, but she decided that my Charr was more important that what was about to happen, so she of course warns me.) We step into the bedroom and close the door.
"You're going to hate me," she says through tears, "me and Z kissed!" At this point, my brain short circuits and I recall one of my first thoughts being "Oh lord, here we go." and just a general desire to not be a part of this conversation. Shock sets in almost immediately. Still with a healthy dose of denial, I talk to her about what had happened and told her that it needed to end. Even at this point, I did not want to send this man home. Was it shock? Denial? Probably a mixture of the two, or some other additional emotional responses. She gets up after some discussion and goes downstairs, promising to shut him down, but comes back about 15 minutes later sobbing "I couldn't do it! I couldn't end it..." (Side note: In my confused haze of a mind, I feel personally threatened, and after she leaves the bedroom, I lock the door and grab a metal water cub I keep at my side and prepare to actually fight if it comes to it, but once she returns, I back off that idea again.)
Talking with her more, I present her with two options; Couple's therapy, or divorce. BOTH of these options are world ending to her, and she even goes so far as to suggest that just because I said the "D word" that it was what I wanted, which was objectively untrue. We talk back and forth about things I don't quite recall at this point, aside from one point where she comes back and locks herself in the master bath and tells me to call 911, she doesn't care, because she's going to take a bunch of pills, but after a couple of hours, Z shows up to the door and knocks and asks if he can come in. I tell him he may enter, and we talk for a bit. After about 5ish minutes, we decide to go downstairs to the living room and continue the discussion.
Once I sit down on the sofa, I immediately feel like I'm being positioned as the bad guy. I'm in the corner of our sectional, and she's on my left, he's on my right. She tells him "He said it's either a divorce or couple's therapy." "Oh, so he gave you an ultimatum?" I continue to argue that yes, those are the two only options. Z tells me "You're not being fair to her emotions. She is telling you there is another option." I am thoroughly baffled at this statement.
D: I didn't think it was possible and I didn't mean for it to happen, but I have fallen in love with another man. My heart has room for two. I truly have two soulmates. I have never been happier than sleeping on the couch next to my two boys.
Z: There is no reason you guys can't stay married, and we can explore what we've found. I mean, look at how happy she has been since I have been here!
Sick to my stomach, I get up to go vomit in the toilet. Now, I wore a silicone wedding ring, and often find even with a hand wash, a little water tends to get trapped under it. After I finish and wash myself up, I come back and am playing with my ring to dry it. She sees this as a sign that I am uncomfortable again wearing my ring, and takes off her ring as I sit back down and hands me her wedding ring.
Me: Uh, excuse me?
D: This is what you want, I can tell.
Me: No? I was washing my hands and water gets stuck under my ring...
D: Oh... I thought... okay. (And she takes back her ring from me)
I tell her, very clearly, the options are to either end things with him, or end things with me. At this point, I'm still in shock, but sober in mind enough to decide that this is not worth fighting over. I will not argue with my own wife my merits or why she shouldn't just pack up and leave with a jobless, now essentially homeless man, and if she cannot figure that out herself then I will eventually move on.
Crying, sobbing, she sits down in front of him and says, "I'm so sorry, I fought for you. I really did. I told you I'd fight for you and I failed. I loved being your girlfriend, but I need to be a good wife and stay."
Z says "Alright." and starts to go gather his things to leave. As he does, she grabs him and says "No, wait! Please don't go. I don't know what I want."
Z: Ok, well if we're getting all this out in the open, I want to say this. I love this girl. I love her with my whole heart, and without her, life is not worth living. I will not leave this house if you (me) tell me to. Only her. You are taking this very well right now, I can tell you want to hit me (Still in shock, no, I can genuinely say that emotion or thought had not actually registered outside of the event upstairs earlier), but this is my stand.
D: OP, we had a good run. I'm sorry.
And with that, I get up and go to get my sandals and leave the house to get some air. As I try to go, she runs to the door and he follows her. She pushes the door closed and says "No wait, please!"
Me: No, this is the deal. I'm going out to get some fresh air. I am not threatening self harm to "win you back".
D: Will you be back?
Me: I don't know.
Z: Man, I'm telling you, you don't understand, you think I am your enemy, but I am not.
And with that, I leave and shut the door.
In the about, hour, I am gone, I drive around near the house and I call my supervisor who I have a very good relationship with (and I did not want to involve direct friends or family yet because I'm afraid it's too early to start spreading this news). I go over to her house nearby and we chat shortly. After our talk, I have at least something of a clear head and go home, with words for both of them.
As I arrive home, there is no one downstairs. I go upstairs. His door is closed. I knock on the door.
Z: Uh, one second.
I wait for about 5 agonizing seconds, but I refuse to be shut out of rooms in my own home and open the door. He is shirtless, and she is hiding in the corner just out of sight of me. I look him in the eye.
Me: Really?
Z: Yep.
Me: Get out of my house.
And with that, they both silently pack their things and leave.
The second I hear the front door close, I start calling people. I am not above pettiness, and the first person I call is her mom, whom I have a good relationship with. She is SHAKEN and immediately calls her. (I find out later that it was a particularly harsh verbal beating by her, but it really doesn't change anything.)
When I come downstairs to check the state of the house, I see her wedding ring on the counter. I call out of work the next day and lay down and hope I die.
Part 4: Her Problems
So, there is some additional context that I did not add in part 1 because a lot of it is red flags I ignored over the course of our relationship that, in the days following, started to become more and more obvious. There are many that I spent much effort playing off or covering her for, but I will try to briefly list much of what I see as glaring issues in the relationship that were never remedied.
This woman is 30 years old and cannot drive. She can drive and HAS driven my vehicle at the start of the relationship (albeit illegally), but after one tiny little accident where she hit a pole and knocked my side mirror off (which she paid for and fixed before telling me, it really wasn't a big deal. I was on deployment), she never drove again. Attempts to get her behind the wheel would end very quickly after they started, and the conditions to get her in the seat were often extremely time limited, scheduled, or something would come up, and every time I told her "okay, this month we're getting your license for sure" it just wouldn't happen and I'd end up feeling like the one who was at fault.
She does not have her Bachelor's degree because she did not turn in her final project for one single class. Not only that, but she has never truly pursued a career with the things she learned from the coursework, or even used her AA.
For half of the relationship, she did not work at all. When she did, it was often part time work, and if she was saddled with full time hours or, god forbid, overtime, it was a world-ending affair. She would come home and constantly be tired from her few hours at work and would do little more than sit around and crochet.
Our agreement when we bought our house was that she was going to work full time and we were going to split household duties, but I would definitely scoop the cat box because she was allergic (but she wanted cats) and wash dishes (because she hated them), and she would do laundry (because I hated it). In practice, all her version of laundry turned out to be was to throw loads in when one of us was out of clothes and just hit wash and then rotate, and then leave all the clothes in a pile on the bed. EVERYONE KNOWS folding the laundry is the worst part! Come on! Men's clothes are easy! I don't wear that much! (When we would fold, I often finished in a third of her time and would just hang out and chat until she was done)
Ultimately, this meant that for many years now, she was working barely more than part time if she was working at all, and would sort-of do laundry. Meanwhile, I am scooping litter, folding laundry, doing dishes, doing all related yard work, doing all the household cleaning, handling all the finances, I did MOST of the cooking, and all of the grocery shopping (often going alone), driving her from work if I could (she'd uber it if not) and picking her up and driving her home, as well as just generally being a chauffeur for her for 10 years, while working a full time job and a side gig online. Many nights I'd have to stop what I was doing to pick her up at closing hours, and then would sit in the parking lot for 30 minutes while she did tasks like vacuum her little crystal shop that she definitely could have done before close so I didn't end up waiting so damn long. Then we'd come home hang out and eat while we watched TV, and then if I wanted to try and go upstairs to do another hobby, I'd be silently guilted about it because she wanted to sit on the couch and crochet.
Part 5: My Problems
I am not perfect, and admit I have flaws. One of her favorite things to claim to our friends now is that I was "emotionally neglectful", and if there is truth to it, I think I can pin down the day. Before I started working full time again, I was going to school on the 9/11 GI bill. I was not a good student in my younger years, but in time, I have become rather good at school. My first two semesters back I easily maintained a 4.0 GPA. Over the summer in 2022, I, woefully, decided to take a Calc 2 class online because I could not find one in person and wanted to be ready for Calc 3 in the Fall to fill a prereq for my bachelor's, and I really liked the instructor for that Calc 3 class. This calc 2 class was painful. The instructor had clearly recorded all his lectures during Covid and we were simply given the full course of videos and given work assignments and said "Email me if you have questions." This is not how I learn, but I figured, hey, it's one class. I'm working again, but one class isn't a huge deal. I can knock this out.
I was wrong.
After the second exam, I had a low C in the class and I knew I couldn't keep up. I withdrew from the class feeling no other option. I tend to be pretty good at math, and ultimately my dream was to work with 3d printing on an industrial scale with a Mechanical Engineering degree- and if that failed I had my military history (which is engineering relevant) and a degree to fall back on and work should come easily. After clicking that withdraw button, I saw those dreams vaporize. After that, I threw myself into my government civilian job full time and slowly fell into depression. By the end of our relationship, with the toll of doing 99% of the work around the house and for her and with my dreams dead and buried, at age 33, I would wake up and pray I died. I would never kill myself, but I wanted to just die. I felt backed into a corner. I still did everything I could to support her and hoped that one day, she would pick up some of the load and maybe, just maybe, I could go back, but that day did not come (At least not in the way I expected).
Part 6: The Aftermath
This post is already too long, and if I include every single detail that has come to light since, I might actually hit the post cap, but I will go over at least some of it here.
I have had my friends come out in droves. Both of them have been effectively exiled, at least from what I can see, from every friend circle we have. After a couple of days, they flew back to live with, I guess, his parents in Vegas while they sorted shit out, because after I spoke with Z's previous roommate, he adamantly explained he was tired of all the "fucking drama" that Z had been bringing into the house and was just done with it.
I have spoken with many, many people and gotten even more context and even receipts of some of each of their conversations to our mutual friends, and some of the shit I read is just hilarious. He is "not ashamed of pursuing happiness, he is just sad that people got hurt". She is "coming to terms with emotional neglect and felt trapped, but now, yes now, she is free."
I got my neighbors to watch the cats, and took my dog up to visit my closest friend of 20 years and spent about a week and a half drinking, smoking, and talking about all this while surrounded by some of the most beautiful nature the US has to offer. Truly, without this man, I don't think I'd have gotten this far as quickly as I have. He really has been a lifesaver and I truly, to my dying day, will always appreciate him.
Paperwork has been filed, we wish to remain on good terms, and one day I still do hope I can be a friend to her, but she is woefully immature and incapable of adequately performing in an adult society. I have quit my job and am returning to school with a much lighter budget and will be getting that degree I desperately need.
It's been hard, real hard. I have put every ounce of my being into this relationship, and I truly felt like she was part of me, and nothing like this could ever happen. But it's that trust that allowed this to happen. I do not hate her, I'm just disappointed. I will pick up my pieces and, hopefully, find myself whole again soon.
Part 7: Rambling anecdotes
These are some stories I wanted to include in the previous body of text but didn't feel like it kept the same flow (if there even is any at all, I'm not proofreading this). If I remember any others after I post, Ill just toss them in the comments.
Early after Z came to live with us, my mother came to the house to drop off a package. I am pretty sure I was at work, but when my mother came to the door, both of them answered the door and the way my mom describes it "First of all, do you answer the door at your friends house? Also, the way he hovered over her made me uncomfortable. They were in the doorway and he was right up behind her poking his head out." She said my wife had told her that I was feeling unwell and was upstairs sleeping. I can't even be sure at this point.
Shortly before all the things happened, my parents were going out of town to celebrate their own anniversary, and I had agreed to dog-sit their 5 month old puppy (who, while cute, has WAY too much energy and was EXTREMELY difficult to handle, and I have raised several dogs at this point). We met up and took the dog, and then ALL of us (including Z) went to dinner. At dinner, my mother looked at my wife and asked, directly "And so how long have you been married? 6, almost 7 years? Well at least you missed that 7 year itch, huh" and my wife shortly followed with a comment about how she was not hungry and did not eat dinner that night.
All of this happened WHILE THIS CRAZY PUPPY was running around the house, and part of me thinks he pushed this to happen when it did because he could not stand having to help take care of this dog any longer (2 days).
About a week after all this happened, my wife did not text or call me, or respond to any messages or emails I sent her (I didn't send many, but they exist). Frustrated, I text her and tell her I need to talk to her about logistics moving forward, specifically about her belongings. She told me "I will talk to you when I am ready." We did not talk for another week. Also, she told me to stop talking to her mom. (I have a good relationship with both of my in-laws and while her step-father tried to remain impartial to the best of his abilities, he gave me some of the best advice I could possibly have gotten at that time, mostly about how to move forward and cope, as he has personally dealt with this with smaller relationships 3 separate times in his life which he gave me details on, and we are still on good terms.)
Their favorite TV show to watch together was Outlander, which, if you aren't aware, is basically a story about a woman who time travels and has two men in her life.
One of our biggest constant points of contention was my friendship with an old high school buddy (who I spent much of the time in the aftermath hanging out with while healing). We believe, with good reason, that she hated this man because after I had almost been hospitalized for psych reasons due to stress, he had told me I needed to talk to her about working again and doing more to help around the house. She figured out, obviously, who was telling me to say these things, and sent a very, very angry text to his wife. They all apparently made up, but I know she never let that grudge go.
One of the fairly recent hobbies I got into was D&D. It seemed like a good fit for all of us. She loved fantasy and gaming, I enjoyed 3d printing and story telling. She needed friends, and a party of people hangin out would give her at least a few connections to start. Every night she "participated" in D&D, she mostly sat quiet and did not do anything. Hell, I tried to get her to participate in 2 different games, and after she left the first one, she asked to just sit quietly in the discord call (This first one was online only, second was in person) and listen, which was super awkward. In the in person game, after 3 months of playing, she did not know how to play her character at all, and mostly spent her time at the table crocheting. (My buddy even made a comment about how at one point, he was proud of how good I was getting at DMing and I was giving particularly good exposition, and she interrupted me to hand another player at the table a dice bag she made. I don't remember it, but I absolutely believe this happened.)
The day of "the incident", she had a meltdown about how a friend of hers had ghosted her. I told her it was okay, she was much younger anyway and people grow apart. She's probably going through stuff and we should respect that path she's on. She cried about how she has no friends.
Also the day of "the incident", we were in the shower together and she told me she had met her sister's new BF on facetime. I asked "why did she break up with her old one?" "Well... she cheated on him." "Oh, that's a shame. Cheating is probably the most cowardly act a person can do to another. If you're going to start a new relationship, you need to grow a pair and end it before starting a new one." She clearly took my words to heart.
One of my biggest pet peeves about cleaning the house is our dog sheds, a lot. If I see a hairball roll through the house it immediately drains me a bit. We had a roomba. She would send that thing home when it started and never start it again. It barely ran. She would not vacuum.
One of the most common descriptors of her I've heard used by many people now that they're "allowed to" is "She was there, doing the thing with us, but it was like she wasn't there."
Something she thought that I apparently hadn't figured out by the time we talked after everything happened was that they had been talking since February. I told her I wasn't stupid and had figured it out already that this wasn't out of the blue.
Z's wife is currently pregnant with the baby of the man she cheated on him with. (And he is also married)
Anything else I remember Ill leave for comments, I know there is much, much more.

Introduction

There was a post that was recently posted and it's been asked a ton: "How do I get a computer science related job after I graduate from KSU?". I thought I'd share this with everyone because I've been down this path and managed to make it on the other side. This will be a long explanation and hopefully, can serve as some sort of guide for students. That being said, things are subjective and this is not the holy grail of how to make it. You might find all, some or none of it useful. I encourage testimonials and whatnot in the comments. Can be applied to all majors but, this primary for technology-based majors since I am in tech field. YMMV

About Me

I've been around here for a while. I was a student not too long ago, studied computer science for my bachelors. After graduating, I work in FAANG and have worked in big tech for a while. No, I don't work at Amazon. I am a senior software engineer. I touch frontend & backend technologies. I participate in hiring frequently.

Starting Out

Over the years and while attending here, there's been a weird disconnect between students, goals and how to achieve them in tech. Goals can be anywhere from learning new technologies, getting internships to securing a full time job before or after you graduate. As much as I would love for there to be a path where you can do minimum effort and still succeed, there isn't. A lot of you seem to not realize that. Getting a degree in this field is not enough. Doing projects that show no passion / interests is not enough. Being stuck on tutorials for years is not enough.
This field is much like a sport. There are very few people that can just be great without any effort. You have to be consistent. Four years is not a lot of time. It goes by super fast. If you constantly push things back and you do not take the time to learn the fundamentals outside the classroom, you will not succeed in this field. This field is at a point where there's so many of you. Every post on LinkedIn and news articles said "hey, this field is a gold mine and you'll make six figures out the gate". For a time, maybe that was somewhat true. As of writing this, it's not. You're going against people who have: better schools, better experience, etc. You have to find a way to diversify yourself early. If you can't diversify, you're going to be in a tough place later down the road. Knowledge not something you can just consume in less than an hour and pass an interview. You have to know it well. If you don't, there's someone else who will.
There's an interesting connotation in life that you're either born super smart or an absolute idiot and that you have to be smart to do computer science / programming. There are people with raw IQ that can consume things like no one you've ever met but, that's such a rarity that there's no realistic use in using that as a data point. If you ever took the time to ask someone who you thought was really good at something, they would tell you something along the lines of: I love what I do and I spent a lot of time doing this. There are hours and hours of time people put into passions that you don't / will never see. Meaning that they can no-life this shit for days on end and still come back and do it some more. It doesn't mean that you can't succeed if don't do that but, computing / programming is a very boring field if you do not enjoy it. I would seriously contemplate why you're going through this. If you're doing it for money and only money, you're going to end up miserable. No amount of money can make you do something you hate. It'll wear you down both mentally and physically. If you're doing this because it's a mix of passion and money, you're like everyone else and you gave yourself a better shot. It's a mental thing. Don't climb uphill if you rather sit at the bottom. Don't complain if you're at the bottom and you rather be at the top. There's nothing wrong with that. But, don't do it. For what it's worth, I am not the smartest person. I graduated high school with a low GPA and took college seriously because I wanted to do more with my life. Plus, being on hourly forever sounds horrible imo. Use the opportunities that life has given to you and run with it. Run far, run smart and run in a direction that you can see yourself going long-term.
Additionally, college is what you make of it. Blaming professors or the program (while I do agree sometimes) is not a solution. Blaming professors that don't speak English is a cop out. If you work in tech, you'll be interacting with a lot of people from other countries. Suck it up. Work with it instead of against it. Professors and TAs can only teach you so much. Classes are meant to give you a taste of what it's like in that domain / space. It's not meant to fix all your issues and show you the way. That's for you to do on your own time. Take accountability of your own success, explore the internet (it's free) and lock in. Stop looking for opportunities to find you. Actively seek them out yourself.

Networking

Make connections with people. I cannot stress how important this is. Especially on the Marietta campus, there's a lot of you that go to class, stingers / food, run to class and immediately start gaming and think that when your classes are over, you're done for the day. That's a bad mindset. Make connections with people. Sit with random people at stingers or wherever. Have a conversation. Find a common interest. Don't harass men / women for a date while you're at it. Keep it cool. A lot of people say "there's nothing to do at KSU and there's no life on campus". That's not true at all. It's true if you choose to put your head in a box and refuse to look up. Join a club that interests you. Get close to the people in that club who actively attend and build a personal relationship. If there's no club with your interest, make a club. Fuck it, lead one. You can make one officially through KSU or add a discord server to the student hub and go from there. You'll meet some really cool like-minded people. Lots of my connections have come from randomly showing up to a club, getting out of my comfort zone and weirdly enjoying it.

Interviewing

Brush up on your interview skills. Technical and behavioral abilities matter. Culture fit matters. A lot of you seem to walk around with almost zero personal hygiene. Clean yourself up, practice talking to people and get places. There's been this stigma that culture fit doesn't matter as much as technical and if I have great technical abilities, they'll just accept me. I can tell you for an absolutely fact that I have thrown out / tossed out resumes from highly technical individuals that had zero people skills. If you can't communicate and clean up, you're more of a risk than someone who does all those things and has a bit less technical ability. I can teach someone how to code. I can't teach someone how to take a shower or brush their teeth. Know more than just Leetcode. Learn system design. Take a course / watch a video on Linux and bash. Do not be afraid of the command line interface. Understand how things work at a deeper level. Take feedback seriously. Do not argue with people. If you future manager / colleague tells you that you need to work on things, work on those things. There's nothing worse than a co-worker in denial.

Jobs

As for internships and full time opportunities, there's a few classes at KSU that you really want to master: Data structures, Algorithm Analysis, Operating Systems and Discrete math. If you're in a major that doesn't have those classes, spend the extra money and take those classes. Do not take them online if you can afford to come in person. Take the hardest / best professors for those courses. Super important. Leetcode is quite literally, those classes merged together in a prompt-style format. If you do not understand those concepts, you will not make it in this field let alone pass an interview loop.
Data Structures - Varies. Rate my professor.
Algorithm Analysis - Varies. Rate my professor.
Operating Systems - Do not take Carla McManus if you want to learn the concepts fluently.
Discrete Math - Andy Wilson.
Having solid resume is super important. Many people who don't secure things and get automatically rejected, etc have horrible resumes. Spend the money (it's a lot) to get your resume professionally written. It's worth it. Invest in your long term career aspirations. Templates are cool but, they don't convey information well and come across as lazy. Don't put every achievement ever on there. I don't want to see a wall of text. No, I don't care if you're a Boy Scout. No, I don't care if you bussed tables in high school. You get the point. The rule of "only one page" is complete and total bullshit. If you have projects and prior work experience related to the role, list it down. Don't conserve space for the sake of keeping it one page. You're limiting yourself. I know the career center actively tells people on handshake to keep it to one page. They're wrong. I landed internships & full time roles consistently at big tech / FAANG for years with a 1.5 / 2 page resume. Do not lie on your resume. If you can't solve a leetcode hard consistently with the technology / language of choice, you don't know it well enough. I have interviewed a ton of students and people that list they know C or Python and can't write recursion or gives me a solution in O(N^2) or worse. Aim for O(N), use a hashmap / hash table when you can and do it in a language that doesn't make you fight the runtime / compiler. Trust me, we know when you're making shit up. If you don't know something say it and then, tell them to explain more. This way, you show that you have the capability to learn. Ask smart questions. Do not ask questions that have already been answered. Take notes.
On your resume, experience is only real experience if you get a W2. If you don't get a W2, you can't claim it as professional experience. A lot of background checks these days are drilling down on incorrect information. I have seen instances where people lie, get an offer, company finds out through a comprehensive background check and their offer is gone. Do not put the fate of your future income on a lie. I cannot stress this enough. A lot of students and people actively lie.
Secondly, the trick to getting a good internship is timing. A lot of you wait until Nov - Dec to find an internship and then, throw your hands up when no one responds. That's not a good mindset. Solid internships are recruiting in end of July to August. By September, the amount of open spots are extremely thin. Local companies tend to look for internships during this time. Internships are about luck after that. Reach out to people in your circle to increase your odds. A referral goes a long way. Prior experience through projects that are complex and unique go a long way. It's a numbers game. Don't aim for the highest thing ever without some sort of referral. You can still apply but, do not expect much from it. Start small and work your way up. It's extremely rare to go from KSU undergrad sophomore to Google. It takes a lot of outside work. If you happen to land the internship, make sure that you get recommendations at the end. Having real people who you worked with in a professional capacity that can vouch for you is huge. If you're in your junior year and you get an internship, make sure you try to secure a full time offer. Loop in your boss, mentor, etc. Make your expectations clear. Reach their expectations and beyond.
Thirdly, full time opportunities are rare and most new grads that get hired come from the previous year's intern pool. If you don't get converted, you have to make up that time searching for a job during your senior year. If you do get converted, keep looking because companies are flaky these days. Always have a Plan B & C. Never fully count on Plan A. If you don't have internships across four years, it's over for you. From a hiring manager perspective, it's an absolute red flag when we come across someone with a degree and no internships. That's effectively going against the point of college. You'll have to settle for crumbs and crawl your way up. Very few make it out of that hole. The bar is significantly higher. Especially, now.

Searching for an Opportunity

Do not wait until after you graduate to find a job. Jan - Early May are when most companies finalize budgets and hire. If you wait until after May, you'll might have to wait until after the Summer and possibly, October for hiring to pick up again. Proactivity is nothing but good for you. If you can't be proactive then, you won't succeed in this field. Referrals matter but, personal connections with the hiring manager / recruiter are much, much better. Work your way up. Don't discount an opportunity because it doesn't pay well. Get as much experience as you can and bounce around. Do not go into the gate thinking you're going to make $120K - $140K / yr out the gate. You're most-likely going to make $68K - $75K / yr depending on the location. Do not listen to LinkedIn posts that claim all this cool shit and how to do it. Trust me, it's bullshit. Don't pay attention to it. It's a brag-fest. It's a long road. Start walking on it early and you'll reach the other side when it matters most. Trust in it.
The reality of this economy is that highly experience people have been laid off. Those people are applying to entry level roles and those roles are being filled for cheap. In addition, watch out for fake postings and scam jobs. If you take a contract job, always keep looking. Avoid jobs that will providing "training" before you even start. Avoid jobs that are less than week old. You want things that are fresh. It's a numbers game. Apply for 300+ jobs every week until you get a response back. Don't be discouraged by employers who don't respond or ghost you. Keep at it. It's a mental game.

Conclusion

I think if you do these things, you'll end up at a great spot after four years. If you're just now coming across this and you've been slacking, use this an opportunity to wake the fuck up, light a fire under your ass and lock in. If you're still in denial after reading this post and you have yet to get anything, light a fire under your ass, come to terms with it and lock in.
If you're in it to do zero work, cheat on your classes, mess around for four years and somehow wing a high salary or a job in this field, good luck. You're fucked. You're so fucked, in-fact, that you'll be wondering "why me and why is it so hard" for a long ass time. Don't be that person.

Cool Resources

Git - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvUiKWv2-C0
Github (use this as your portfolio; web devs should make an actual clean website) - https://github.com
Github Student Pack (tons of free resources) - https://education.github.com/pack
Linux Handbook - https://linuxhandbook.com/ Linux Quickguide - https://github.com/mikeroyal/Linux-Guide
Lots of subreddits geared around linux and programming. Great resources to find.
Understand: Kernel Space vs. User Space, Memory Allocation / Deallocation, Bitwise Operations, Memory blocks, processes and threads, context switching
System Design Primer - https://github.com/donnemartin/system-design-primer
Understand: Monolith vs. Micro-services, Tradeoffs between different approaches, Vertical vs. Horizontal Scaling, Load Balancers, Buckets, Data lakes, CI / CD Pipelines, Data Clusters, Client-Server Architecture, Synchronous vs. Asynchronous Context: System design is like a giant puzzle that has many forms. Create a basic design. It won't be perfect. Mix-and-match different services and know why, how and tradeoffs between each approach.
Programming language is dependent on the role and what the company favors. Common ones are Java, C++, Python, C#, JavaScript / TypeScript and C. You can look at jobs that you would like to work someday, look at the requirements and use that as a basis on where to start learning. Things constantly change. Fundamentals build up on each other. Start small. Work your way up. Do not dream big. Dream realistic. Everyone is different.

A few months ago during winter break of my 3rd year, my friend's ex cheated on him with another guy. My friend was destroyed and he was depressed for weeks after this happened. Despite all of this, he never fully cut her off. Now they are on strong talking terms again and are even back to being friends. I was also friends with his ex before this all happened but since then I sort of tapped out of the friendship because I lost all respect for this woman. There is nothing I hate more than people who cheat, in my opinion its one of the most disgusting things someone can do. This means that as a third party to this rekindled friendship between my friend and his ex, it has been a weird and conflicting experience. Even though she is still actively with this other guy, she is still extremely intimate with my friend, touching him and using pet names. I have made sure that he is comfortable with this numerous times and every single time he says that while he doesn't love it, it makes his ex happy so he doesn't mind. I kind of understand this because the guy she is currently with is quite toxic but that also isn’t his problem. This dynamic has gone on for months at this point and I have been bottling up more and more resentment towards this woman. I hate how she is using my friend as nothing but a comfort toy and I hate how he is just letting this happen to him. It got to the point where I couldn't hold it in anymore and I snapped. She was doing her usual stuff with my friend being intimate, saying I love you when I just flat out told her that she was lying. I told her that this whole dynamic was really annoying and that I hated her presence, I hated how she was using and treating my friend. She got defensive and tried to say that my friend was completely fine with what was happening and regardless of whether or not he was I didn't care. I was so done with her bullshit.
She stopped talking to me after that which doesn't bother me but what has me concerned is that my friend has also changed his behaviour towards me. Lately, he has seemed a lot more cold and distant and I feel it has to do with what I said. His ex thinks that it's stupid that I'm still so mad at her because this happened so long ago and that she didn't cheat on me. She doesn't think I should be so angry and that it's not my place to "forgive" in this situation.
Maybe its not my place to forgive, but thinking about what she did to him and how it made my friend feel makes me furious. I can't be friends with someone who has done something like that. Despite being his ride or die, it almost feels as though he's about to choose being friends with his ex over me. I really don't want to lose this guy but it really seems like he's about to choose her over me. I still want to maintain the close bond I have with my friend but I feel like I won't be able to do that unless I move on and make up with this girl. I’m not gonna make him pick and choose but I will never forgive this girl for what she did.

I (M 22) has always been friends with women, im not very competitive nor a really smart guy, so usually is hard to me to make male friends.
For almost all my life i have know women better than any men and i can say, this have create irreparable damage to my brain. Now, i can trust any women, when one tries to talk with me or interact i remember everything that my friends have told me, and i see them as literal psycos!!!
Not a long time ago i made a post about the fact that i have been raped by one, but not just that, like:
I discoverd that one girl once followed me around town to know what i do before we dated
My friends always told me that they take theirs bf to hers houses so that can see what things they have passed to and have a excuse to do shit
A lot of them cheated constantly on theirs bf's and supported eachother to make him seen a monster
Some even have said that they like to go to a big guy in parties and tell that a other guy has touched her to see them fight for her
Does not help that every ex that i had was crazy but like
Im feel scared.

I have two reddit accounts, so if these stories are familiar, that's why. Someone commented that one of these sounds like abuse from my Christian parent to me. So I've compiled all most of them here. (Most of them are to do with Christianity, the hypocrisy of Christianity, or the consequences of my choice to leave it.) Please be honest but also recognize that this isn't all the times sometimes these are amazing people and I love these people but for my sake I need to know if it's really that bad.
"I'm rather young. My mom (42F) and my dad (41M) both grew up in the church. My grandfather is the pastor of his own church and my mother was raised by her grandmother who played piano in the church. Growing up I'd say I was the perfect little Christian girl. I liked praying and went to church, I wanted to help the world, and I wanted to be baptized before I even started kindergarten. I remember that vividly. I was sitting in the kitchen in one of our folding chairs because we couldn't afford real ones and I was begging my mom to let me get baptized.
My family and I are African American. The church I went to when I was little was a black church. My mother was the praise dance choreographer so of course I did praise dancing. I'd go to Sunday school, I wore the big puffy dresses, and I knew all the songs. Of course I had the common experience of being assaulted in a sexual manor by someone I went to church with. But we were both the same age and I just knew I was uncomfortable and she just knew that's how people bigger than us touched each other. All that came of me telling my mom and me not having to go to her house anymore. I was always told that I was intelligent and I believed everything I was told without question. Then my sister was born and we moved. At first everything stayed the same. We ended up having to switch churches as the previous one was an hour away from our new home. We found a new church. A church were you can wear your hoodie and jeans like it's a Tuesday. I made friends and played sports and nothing really changed until I was eight. When I was eight there was a girl on my softball team I'll call E. E is Jewish and at the time I thought everyone was Christian. As in Christianity was the default and only option. But my friend E's church wasn't called a church but a synagogue, and she couldn't eat specific foods together. E also talked about BaBat Mitzvah's. When I brought that up to my mom she said my friend was Jewish and that being Jewish is like being Christian but they read from the old testament exclusively but they don't believe in Jesus.
Which a while later caused me to spend all night crying because I put the two and two together of: Believing in resurrection Sunday and that Jesus was gods son is what got us into heaven and I cried worrying one of my closest, sweetest friend and her nice family would go to hell. Then school, which had always been easy, became hard. Which made me feel dumb. Especially since my self worth was put into how smart I was and I wouldn't dare get below an A or high B because I was scared I'd get punished. Like the time I slammed my fingers a metal door on accident and spent the next fifteen minutes in tears and my mom told me if I kept crying she'd take me to the hospital to have them cut off my fingers. Because of moments like that disappointing my parent or having to big of an emotional reaction was not okay and it made me scared and uncomfortable. They knew I was struggling, they were the ones who stayed up till four something in the morning with me trying to explain the concept. But with every minor and major struggle I felt like my worth was slipping away. But the better I did in school the more my outstanding grades became the expectation which resulted in acknowledgement for my academic achievements disappearing. I felt like I was falling apart so I'd spend hours pray and begging god for help. To take the feeling of being worthless away. I developed an eating disorder sometime before ten. Specifically binge eating. My parents would find the trash, not understand that it was more than just "the sin of gluttony" and yell which made me feel threatened and eat more food.
And then I'd pray on my knees on the hard wood outside my room door with nails and splinters in it and hurt myself because not only was I a dumb glutton but I also apparently wasn't good enough for god to save or help. It made me think if he wants a relationship with me so bad why does he ignore me? I'd hold a knife to my wrist when I'd wash dishes to see if I felt him then. I questions if I'd even go to heaven. For all my problems the answer was to pray but the problem was I'm doing that but my prayers aren't being answered. I was having thought of death no twelve year old should have. On my birthday I was like a puppet simply going through the motions. Then I started questioning my sexuality. Not to mention, I'm now cut off from the world because this is all during covid, on the bright side they gave me my door back. Now I'm older and I have questions like. How was Adam able to name all the animals and understand god not wanting him to eat from the tree and their need to stay in the garden, but not comprehend his nakedness? How was Eve able to be tempted and not understand her nakedness? Why did they and apparently god think being naked was wrong? How are we not all messed up from tons of inbreeding and how do animals still exist after the inbreeding the would've occurred after Noah's ark if he only saved one male and female of each species? Why did god want to flood the Earth and purge it of it's evil humans if he was the one who decided free will would be a good idea? Since he is perfect and all knowing their shouldn't have been a moment of let me make something I'll destroy, wait nvm. My parents have changed a lot since I was little and have let me go to therapy. Of course I have a Christian therapist. Which I wouldn't mind if it wasn't for the fact that every time I bring up trauma that's linked to religion or need advice in terms of how to change a bad behavior or over come anxiety the advice is to pray. And at times I feel like I'm in a moment of doubt she feel she should try and pull me back in. But they also said I have to volunteer in the childern ministry at church.
I used to work with children ages three to five. Now I'm in one to three. And it feels like I'm spreading propaganda. They tell me what to say and what the goal is for the kids to believe by the end of the month. After I can't help but feel dirty. I'm at the point in my journey were I don't believe. But I have to keep working in the childern ministry, I have to go to church every Sunday, my parents are both devotional authors with published books. I'm the only one in my family who doesn't believe both extended and intermediate. I just wanna know I'm not crazy. I feel like I'm being brainwashed or something. Like drink the blood and eat the body of Jesus!? It's all too much. And now that my parents know they're trying to make me go back to believing. And I listen to them talk and it's like I can't have a conversations with you. You put your faith above all else. You believe whole heartedly, my point of view is automatically wrong to you because faith trumps logic so why would I share it with you? But at the same time it's majority of the music they play, it's all their advice, I go every Sunday, my classmates and friends are majority Christian and yet I even though I see the flaws and hypocrisy, I still can't help but wonder, am I the crazy one?"
"My grandma would grab me and call me "big booty Judy." And my butt was grabbed, spanked, and frequently talked about. Sometimes she'd just sit there tapping it while she talked. It started when I was around three or four and just continued. Though now I'm in my teens and rarely see her. But my breast were also a topic for a while. Comments like "where'd you get those from?", "she's bigger than you.", and "her sisters the tall one but she's the curvy one." They felt icky but I didn't dwell on them. But she's also an alcoholic along with many other things. She dated my mom's friends when she was in college, gets shit faced in at events like birthdays and funerals. Shakes her ass on family members and frequently offered us alcohol. But I always took pride in being her favorite grandchild. Which she constantly reminded me I was. She also has a serious spending problem. But the funny thing is. She goes to a church church. She's in the choir and used frequently as a look example. She hosts church events and potlucks. She even remarried in the church. Never mind the things I just said that'd be considered sins. She's the perfect Christian woman."
"How do you cope with the level of disrespect? I'm not eighteen yet, but I'm still able to be disrespected. My main problem is the disrespect from my parents. My parents who wish to be respected in their beliefs and don't want their minds to change. But at the same time, my dad has sent my scriptures and stuff for the past couple of months since it came out. I don't believe in God or Jesus. They force me to serve and volunteer at church and attend every Sunday. They paired me with a not so ethical Christian therapist. Then both gang up on me about it and take my silence as defeat when I'm just respecting their beliefs. I'm literally the only non Christian in my family. I also have mental problems from staying with them and just in general, but they won't test me because I don't behave in such a stereotypical manner. I want to say they love me, but does someone who blatantly disrespects you love you? I'm having a hard time with seeing if I should do something as drastic as no contact after I reach a certain age.
But at the same time their those awful parents who don't just blatantly suck but also have messed me up quite a bit, resulting in me not feeling like I have a right to be upset. I've told them about how Christianity mixed with their parenting drove me to suicidal thoughts, almost going through with it, and an eating disorder I'm still battling. I also can't just leave and close the door behind me. I'm the oldest, and their are two more kids just like me, and if I turned my back on them, I'd never forgive myself. They're my siblings, but they're also what stopped me from going through with the bad thoughts I was having. They need someone who will be honest, say the weird things, and answer the ignored questions. So, how can I deal with the blatant disrespect so that I'm around for them? What skill for stress management can I use? How do I block out the constant religious gaslighting that happens in church? Because I have over two more years of this."
"My dad said if people don't wanna have a baby, they shouldn't have sex even if they're married. But sir, you had three babies while financially unstable because you couldn't keep your damn hands off my mom. You were planning me, but your job fell through, and when my mom went to get back on birth control, it was too late, so I'll give you a pass with me. But my siblings were both surprises. So, quit judging and practice what you preach. But that's not what pissed me off the most. He said women will put all their time into work and not their husbands, and that's why some men cheat, but the way he said it, it was like he was justifying it. But my dad, he'd go to hooters alone, and when I needed tights, he got them from a woman their and it made me think what if. And I know it's stupid, but that what if. It is so loud.
And it's not even the first time he's said something along the lines of justifying it and almost blaming the woman who gets cheated on. But then he likes to be all up in arms about how his friend married a woman who cheated on him multiple times. My dad's like, I wanna pour into my kids but then makes no effort, and when we spent time with him, we had to initiate it. He doesn't do the hey you wanna . . . stuff. But he has his own company, and they can't get any work right now, so he spends most of his time at home. And then says I'm just to tired to spend time with ya'll.
My mom was sick to the point of being half passed out in a drive-thru after taking my brother to karate and having to pick up dinner. I would've offered to drive him if I could. I'm still leaning, and I'm bad at staying in one lane. But my dad was really busy on his PS5 with his made-up football team. So busy he couldn't take my brother to karate nor could he pause his game to get dinner. I'm kinda starting to hate him. He's also done a couple of other things, but that's what recently has made me mad. But I don't feel like I have a right to be mad because he's here and a lot of my friends dad aren't, and he's not physically abusive like my best friends dad is. I just don't know how I should feel. Is everyone's dad like this?
Edit: It's mothers day and he couldn't be bothered to get the food, pick up the groceries, nothing. #1Dad guys."
​
So is it truly a horrible go no contact at eighteen situation, a be watchful situation, or is it fine? I know some of this stuff is a lot but some of it was also in a moment of extreme emotion. Remember like I said in the beginning they're not always like this.

I have two reddit accounts, so if these stories are familiar, that's why. Someone commented that one of these sounds like abuse from my Christian parent to me. So I've compiled all most of them here. (Most of them are to do with Christianity, the hypocrisy of Christianity, or the consequences of my choice to leave it.) Please be honest but also recognize that this isn't all the times sometimes these are amazing people and I love these people but for my sake I need to know if it's really that bad.
"I'm rather young. My mom (42F) and my dad (41M) both grew up in the church. My grandfather is the pastor of his own church and my mother was raised by her grandmother who played piano in the church. Growing up I'd say I was the perfect little Christian girl. I liked praying and went to church, I wanted to help the world, and I wanted to be baptized before I even started kindergarten. I remember that vividly. I was sitting in the kitchen in one of our folding chairs because we couldn't afford real ones and I was begging my mom to let me get baptized.
My family and I are African American. The church I went to when I was little was a black church. My mother was the praise dance choreographer so of course I did praise dancing. I'd go to Sunday school, I wore the big puffy dresses, and I knew all the songs. Of course I had the common experience of being assaulted in a sexual manor by someone I went to church with. But we were both the same age and I just knew I was uncomfortable and she just knew that's how people bigger than us touched each other. All that came of me telling my mom and me not having to go to her house anymore. I was always told that I was intelligent and I believed everything I was told without question. Then my sister was born and we moved. At first everything stayed the same. We ended up having to switch churches as the previous one was an hour away from our new home. We found a new church. A church were you can wear your hoodie and jeans like it's a Tuesday. I made friends and played sports and nothing really changed until I was eight. When I was eight there was a girl on my softball team I'll call E. E is Jewish and at the time I thought everyone was Christian. As in Christianity was the default and only option. But my friend E's church wasn't called a church but a synagogue, and she couldn't eat specific foods together. E also talked about BaBat Mitzvah's. When I brought that up to my mom she said my friend was Jewish and that being Jewish is like being Christian but they read from the old testament exclusively but they don't believe in Jesus.
Which a while later caused me to spend all night crying because I put the two and two together of: Believing in resurrection Sunday and that Jesus was gods son is what got us into heaven and I cried worrying one of my closest, sweetest friend and her nice family would go to hell. Then school, which had always been easy, became hard. Which made me feel dumb. Especially since my self worth was put into how smart I was and I wouldn't dare get below an A or high B because I was scared I'd get punished. Like the time I slammed my fingers a metal door on accident and spent the next fifteen minutes in tears and my mom told me if I kept crying she'd take me to the hospital to have them cut off my fingers. Because of moments like that disappointing my parent or having to big of an emotional reaction was not okay and it made me scared and uncomfortable. They knew I was struggling, they were the ones who stayed up till four something in the morning with me trying to explain the concept. But with every minor and major struggle I felt like my worth was slipping away. But the better I did in school the more my outstanding grades became the expectation which resulted in acknowledgement for my academic achievements disappearing. I felt like I was falling apart so I'd spend hours pray and begging god for help. To take the feeling of being worthless away. I developed an eating disorder sometime before ten. Specifically binge eating. My parents would find the trash, not understand that it was more than just "the sin of gluttony" and yell which made me feel threatened and eat more food.
And then I'd pray on my knees on the hard wood outside my room door with nails and splinters in it and hurt myself because not only was I a dumb glutton but I also apparently wasn't good enough for god to save or help. It made me think if he wants a relationship with me so bad why does he ignore me? I'd hold a knife to my wrist when I'd wash dishes to see if I felt him then. I questions if I'd even go to heaven. For all my problems the answer was to pray but the problem was I'm doing that but my prayers aren't being answered. I was having thought of death no twelve year old should have. On my birthday I was like a puppet simply going through the motions. Then I started questioning my sexuality. Not to mention, I'm now cut off from the world because this is all during covid, on the bright side they gave me my door back. Now I'm older and I have questions like. How was Adam able to name all the animals and understand god not wanting him to eat from the tree and their need to stay in the garden, but not comprehend his nakedness? How was Eve able to be tempted and not understand her nakedness? Why did they and apparently god think being naked was wrong? How are we not all messed up from tons of inbreeding and how do animals still exist after the inbreeding the would've occurred after Noah's ark if he only saved one male and female of each species? Why did god want to flood the Earth and purge it of it's evil humans if he was the one who decided free will would be a good idea? Since he is perfect and all knowing their shouldn't have been a moment of let me make something I'll destroy, wait nvm. My parents have changed a lot since I was little and have let me go to therapy. Of course I have a Christian therapist. Which I wouldn't mind if it wasn't for the fact that every time I bring up trauma that's linked to religion or need advice in terms of how to change a bad behavior or over come anxiety the advice is to pray. And at times I feel like I'm in a moment of doubt she feel she should try and pull me back in. But they also said I have to volunteer in the childern ministry at church.
I used to work with children ages three to five. Now I'm in one to three. And it feels like I'm spreading propaganda. They tell me what to say and what the goal is for the kids to believe by the end of the month. After I can't help but feel dirty. I'm at the point in my journey were I don't believe. But I have to keep working in the childern ministry, I have to go to church every Sunday, my parents are both devotional authors with published books. I'm the only one in my family who doesn't believe both extended and intermediate. I just wanna know I'm not crazy. I feel like I'm being brainwashed or something. Like drink the blood and eat the body of Jesus!? It's all too much. And now that my parents know they're trying to make me go back to believing. And I listen to them talk and it's like I can't have a conversations with you. You put your faith above all else. You believe whole heartedly, my point of view is automatically wrong to you because faith trumps logic so why would I share it with you? But at the same time it's majority of the music they play, it's all their advice, I go every Sunday, my classmates and friends are majority Christian and yet I even though I see the flaws and hypocrisy, I still can't help but wonder, am I the crazy one?"
"My grandma would grab me and call me "big booty Judy." And my butt was grabbed, spanked, and frequently talked about. Sometimes she'd just sit there tapping it while she talked. It started when I was around three or four and just continued. Though now I'm in my teens and rarely see her. But my breast were also a topic for a while. Comments like "where'd you get those from?", "she's bigger than you.", and "her sisters the tall one but she's the curvy one." They felt icky but I didn't dwell on them. But she's also an alcoholic along with many other things. She dated my mom's friends when she was in college, gets shit faced in at events like birthdays and funerals. Shakes her ass on family members and frequently offered us alcohol. But I always took pride in being her favorite grandchild. Which she constantly reminded me I was. She also has a serious spending problem. But the funny thing is. She goes to a church church. She's in the choir and used frequently as a look example. She hosts church events and potlucks. She even remarried in the church. Never mind the things I just said that'd be considered sins. She's the perfect Christian woman."
"How do you cope with the level of disrespect? I'm not eighteen yet, but I'm still able to be disrespected. My main problem is the disrespect from my parents. My parents who wish to be respected in their beliefs and don't want their minds to change. But at the same time, my dad has sent my scriptures and stuff for the past couple of months since it came out. I don't believe in God or Jesus. They force me to serve and volunteer at church and attend every Sunday. They paired me with a not so ethical Christian therapist. Then both gang up on me about it and take my silence as defeat when I'm just respecting their beliefs. I'm literally the only non Christian in my family. I also have mental problems from staying with them and just in general, but they won't test me because I don't behave in such a stereotypical manner. I want to say they love me, but does someone who blatantly disrespects you love you? I'm having a hard time with seeing if I should do something as drastic as no contact after I reach a certain age.
But at the same time their those awful parents who don't just blatantly suck but also have messed me up quite a bit, resulting in me not feeling like I have a right to be upset. I've told them about how Christianity mixed with their parenting drove me to suicidal thoughts, almost going through with it, and an eating disorder I'm still battling. I also can't just leave and close the door behind me. I'm the oldest, and their are two more kids just like me, and if I turned my back on them, I'd never forgive myself. They're my siblings, but they're also what stopped me from going through with the bad thoughts I was having. They need someone who will be honest, say the weird things, and answer the ignored questions. So, how can I deal with the blatant disrespect so that I'm around for them? What skill for stress management can I use? How do I block out the constant religious gaslighting that happens in church? Because I have over two more years of this."
"My dad said if people don't wanna have a baby, they shouldn't have sex even if they're married. But sir, you had three babies while financially unstable because you couldn't keep your damn hands off my mom. You were planning me, but your job fell through, and when my mom went to get back on birth control, it was too late, so I'll give you a pass with me. But my siblings were both surprises. So, quit judging and practice what you preach. But that's not what pissed me off the most. He said women will put all their time into work and not their husbands, and that's why some men cheat, but the way he said it, it was like he was justifying it. But my dad, he'd go to hooters alone, and when I needed tights, he got them from a woman their and it made me think what if. And I know it's stupid, but that what if. It is so loud.
And it's not even the first time he's said something along the lines of justifying it and almost blaming the woman who gets cheated on. But then he likes to be all up in arms about how his friend married a woman who cheated on him multiple times. My dad's like, I wanna pour into my kids but then makes no effort, and when we spent time with him, we had to initiate it. He doesn't do the hey you wanna . . . stuff. But he has his own company, and they can't get any work right now, so he spends most of his time at home. And then says I'm just to tired to spend time with ya'll.
My mom was sick to the point of being half passed out in a drive-thru after taking my brother to karate and having to pick up dinner. I would've offered to drive him if I could. I'm still leaning, and I'm bad at staying in one lane. But my dad was really busy on his PS5 with his made-up football team. So busy he couldn't take my brother to karate nor could he pause his game to get dinner. I'm kinda starting to hate him. He's also done a couple of other things, but that's what recently has made me mad. But I don't feel like I have a right to be mad because he's here and a lot of my friends dad aren't, and he's not physically abusive like my best friends dad is. I just don't know how I should feel. Is everyone's dad like this?
Edit: It's mothers day and he couldn't be bothered to get the food, pick up the groceries, nothing. #1Dad guys."
​
So is it truly a horrible go no contact at eighteen situation, a be watchful situation, or is it fine? I know some of this stuff is a lot but some of it was also in a moment of extreme emotion. Remember like I said in the beginning they're not always like this.

I(27F) have a school friend ( 27M) (Let's call him Saul) who's started seeing a girl(27F) he's known for 2 weeks. 2I'm a female myself and in my first interaction with the girl(Let's call her Nancy), I got a nudging feeling that she's trouble. She openly remarked that she cheated on her 10 yr old relationship. Flirted with and didn't mind "friendly" touches from another guy (who's btw in the same friend group). Saul is a very gullible and extravagant person but isn't too blessed with looks. And he spends money for everyone. Together our friendly get togethers she would get too touchy and friendly with all the guys in the group but now I can't seem to think why all of a sudden she would develop this "intense liking" for Saul. She has started having problems if I visit him (I'm his childhood friend. Known each other for 11 years now) I'm happy for him because I know Saul genuinely likes her but I don't it's the same from her end. Should I tell Saul about my intuition which is backed by these incidents or let time tell
TLDR: Girl that my friend is dating tending towards being a red flag. Should I warn him

Met this girl last year traveling and we kept in touch. Last winter we started talking a lot more frequently and things seemed to be getting serious so we met and traveled together for a month after which I met her in her home country for another 2 months. Came back to USA but she was unable to get a visa to visit me, still she is hoping to get her visa at some point not just to see me but her parents too but her next appointment is in October and she thinks it will be rejected too.
We mentioned one of the only ways this relationship could continue is if there's still a plan in place for her to try to move here which may require us to get married but now it seems despite my enthusiasm to keep going she is choosing to pull away. She mentioned her interest in getting married within a year but now says she doesn't have the mind to do that and is focusing all her energy on her job and business. No longer any FaceTime dates or selfies and when I mentioned watching a film together she rejected me saying she's busy but she'll watch netflix by herself and said she can't say we're a couple anymore or committed but we can still call and talk from time to time when I asked if there was someone else coming between us she confidently refused it and said there's no other guys in her life she has any romantic interest in. I want to trust her and we had a 2 hour conversation about how trust is important to both of us because we both have been through cheating before.
I'm not sure how to go from here because I've never quite been in a situation like this before where I really love someone who just isn't interested anymore not because they with someone else but just because they're busy with work or feel mentally exhausted. It feels like an excuse frankly but she also told me from the moment we started planning to see each other that she doesn't want me to fall in love with her. I asked if we're just friends now and she said we're more than friends but not a couple.

Help! Throwaway account because i don't want to be recognized😅
I 35F am in love with my bff 47M....
Not just in love. Really in love.
We had a friendship that goes more than 20 years back. We had a connection back then but i never did anything with those feelings because i was under aged and never even would have considered he would feel something for me. I always thought he saw me as his younger siste niece kind of girl. I looked up to him and even thought that my feelings were because of my puberty and him just beeing awesome in my eyes.
We lost contact for almost 10 years because our shared contact went in to another fase of his life and social media and contact wasnt the same as now. Somebody wasnt easy to find once lost.
But 5,5 years ago i went to a party and... there he was! We were over the moon seeing eachother again! He proudly presented me to his wife, we had a blast that evening and promised we would now keep in touch.
I was single at that time and on that same evening I hooked up with a very cute guy for a one night stand ( first time in my life after a 14 year relationship). That didn’t turn out to be a one night stand... we had a relationship for 4 years.
Only a month in, it turns out he is really good friends with my friend who i lost contact with.
Well... that went really well! We spend a lot of time with the four of us. Went to parties, had nice evenings at home, stayed over at their place or ours, and sometimes it was just us 2 reconnecting and going away together. Sometimes just the 2 males away together, all combo's were possible.
The relationship between me and my male bff grew. We were really grateful for the second chance of spending time together. But... i did already caught myself thinking.... why didn’t i run in to him earlier? Why did we never find eachother? I hope i find a man like him. But i would never!!! Hook up with a married man or even suggest or let him notice! And time went on. Everything was nice.
Then he drops a bomb. His wife cheated. Big time. With a shitshow coming with that you can't even imagine. He told us everything. We were in shock! After about a month of frustration, thinking, seeking help... they decide they want to save their marriage. I supported that choice. I could get that you don't want to throw away if you stil think you can save it. My boyfriend did not. He couldnt forgive her.
Later on my bff warned me..... because he saw that my relationship with my boyfriend was not ok due to his anger management problems and addictions. Combine that with my childhood trauma where i was neglected and hit and scolded way too many times... i let this guy treat me like shit again. I also did things wrong within the relationship but was always honest about working on myself. It finally exploded with him beeing violent.
A lot of people around us were incredibly angry with him. I was shattered in pieces. I was thankful for the support. Also from this couple. Because i trusted them. After a few months of grief i was starting to get back on my feet. Finally.
And then... he calls and tells me they gave up on their marriage. He was gonna call it quits. Totally tired of trying to feel it again. Devistated it didnt work. Thinking he would grow old with her. And my heart broke too! I wanted it to work. For him.
And that's the moment i realised again. For him. For him. I don't care for her if he doesnt.
We spend so much time together. We had evenings full of sorrow and drinks and movies to get over the pain, helped him in his new house, so many nice laughs, parties and joy and my feelings expand and expand. Finally i blurred out that i always thought of him of a really perfect guy but that i would have never acted on it while he was married. He was in shock. He did notice the behaviour of the last period but it was there all the time? He honestly said to me... i need time. I need to heal from this. I don't want anything to happen between us and i may become a mistake. And i totally agreed. I'll wait.
It's one year since the divorce.. We had so many amazing times together. Totally comfortabel and beeing just us. And yes, some moments you can feel it in the air.
I can't wait anymore. I need to do something. Kiss him. Tell him again. Something. Or not? I'm so afraid of losing this one of a kind friendship. But i also don't want to miss out any longer on what could be our happy ever after?
I wanna give him the world. I would never betray him like that. I would give everything for a life together.

I've been with my current boyfriend for 7 months. Things moved really fast and I moved in after 3 months of dating. He has two kids (one biological and one that is the half brother of his son). Living with him has been very difficult. But I never expected things to get so bad.
He's been through a lot of bad relationships. His most recent one was 7 years ago and he was cheated on constantly. My last relationship was 4 years ago and I was severely abused. He didn't have sex or contact with women for 7 years. He is constantly distrustful of me. We've gotten into so many arguments because of really immature shit. Our most recent argument was because I didn't kiss him goodbye before leaving for work because I thought he fell asleep and I was late for work. That turned into a screaming match when I got home.
He also went through my phone last night because he asked who I was talking to and I told him. I was talking to my previous lover's brothers. We'll call him J. J took his own life last year and I've been grieving. I got in touch with J's family and want to plan a trip to see them (they live in England). I got up to take a shower and noticed my phone was moved. While I'm at work today, my boyfriend randomly "suggested" that I go on a trip to England and meet them. He was really aggressive and pushy in the texts and said how he thinks that would make me "so happy". He constantly thinks that he doesn't make me happy (he makes me miserable because of his behavior). He clearly read my conversation. He also made a joke about me to his friend. The "joke" was that his long hair is the only thing I'm attracted to in the bedroom and how that's barely even enough. I haven't had sex with him in weeks because of how awful he treats me.
He also has accused me of cheating because his boss was talking about something that my boyfriend and I discussed days before. His boss also told him that some "random girl knocked on my door today and I let her in". He freaked out and thought it was me. Google maps tracks all of my travels with locations, dates and times. I had to show him that so he would believe me. I've proved him wrong time and time again whenever he thinks I'm lying or cheating and then he just finds something else to be paranoid about.
I'm so miserable and want to leave once I have the money to find a place. He isolates me from friends and family because he thinks that I'm cheating on him whenever I leave the house (I literally leave just to go to work). I'm so miserable and I have no one to talk to about this, so here I am looking for some advice from strangers. Thank you for reading 🧸

I might be "strange" for my idea of revenge but you know what? I don't care at all hahahah.
So i know that my wife of 9 years is cheating on me with her coworker cause i hired a P.I. and after 2 weeks i got the proofs that i nedeed.
So i know what you are thinking. Why not divorce? The answer is very simple: we have a prenup and according to it before the 10 years everything must be split but after we both will have the assets we came in before marriage. So i'm just waiting hahahah. My assets are, obviously, more important than hers so like i said i'm just waiting the right moment.
Anyway... i knew about her affair about 2 years ago and moved by emotions i immediatly contacted a lawyer but then i understood that immediate divorce would be only worst so according to him i have to wait and i'm doing it. Anyway in this 2 years some things are changed like for example me cause i get a gym membership and actually i'm in the best shape of my life, i accepted a job promotion that i always refused cause i was scared to spend less time with my wife and i planned everything about our divorce in the minimal details so there wouldn't be any surprises.
But coming to the topic my revenge is very simple. It's more a psychological thing and actually it's working extremely well. (Or i hope so)
Cause me and my wife since 2 years never had sex. I mean since i started to go to the gym i saw that my wife started to be more "present" into my life, like she was appreciating my change but i always shutted down every chance to have sex with her cause just the idea makes me throw up. So like i like to say "watch but no touch" hahahah. She see my perfect body everyday but everytime she tries to initiate something i just brush it off rudely and i love to see those delusional eyes. At the beginning it hurted a lot turning down her efforts to have intimacy but now it's all very easy.
The thing that might be off is her changed attitude in this last year cause she started again to be nice, to be more romantic, to ask about my day, she often calls me when i'm at work (but i never once picked up her calls) and to be nicer in general. So it's like she understood her mistake but sincerly i don't care cause i never forgave cheaters and will never do it so she can kick rocks and next time she would think before having an affair. The most absurd thing happened 2 weeks ago when she brought up the idea of couple therapy cause "it seems like we are distant and we lost the connection that we had at the beginning". I mean the audacity of the cheater to just think about this. What a hypocritical woman!
So nothing just this. I'm just waiting 2 months to serve her divorce papers on the day of our 10th anniversary and i'm counting the days to finally get rid of her and to start a new chapter of my life. (Fortunetly we don't have kids cause we never wanted them and i had a vasectomy just to protect myself from "accidents")

I first found out about my mother's infidelity when I was around 8 years old, and it has never left my mind since. At that age, I didn't own a phone, so I always borrowed my mother's. One day, out of curiosity, I explored her phone and found a conversation with someone who wasn't my father. They referred to each other as "by." As a kid still navigating the world, I was confused about why my mother was calling that guy "by." Innocently, I let it slide.
As I grew older and started understanding the world better, I recalled that conversation and realized my mother was cheating on my father. At that moment, I felt disappointed, mad, and betrayed. Yet, I didn't tell a single soul—not even my mother. I couldn't face her to ask why she had done that. I was angry and scared that our family might get ruined if I told on her. So, I let it slide once again.
When I entered high school, I started checking her phone again. She let me borrow it, thinking no one knew about her infidelity. I went through her messages and found out she was still in touch with the same guy she called "by" when I was 8. Initially, I thought it was a different guy, but I connected the dots and realized it was the same person. It felt like my heart was pierced when I read their intimate conversations. Seeing how comfortably she talked with him, how they exchanged jokes, and how they told each other "I love you" pained me deeply. I was outraged and asked myself, "How can she do this to us? To my father? To our family?" But I couldn't confront her. I didn't have the courage. I was still afraid of our family falling apart and the possibility of my siblings and me having to choose whom to live with. So, I blocked the guy from my mother's contacts without her knowing. Surprisingly, they stopped communicating at that time. I hadn't found any more inappropriate conversations, and I felt a sense of relief. I felt I had finally taken action and saved our family.
Years passed, and then the pandemic came. They did not have any contact at all—at least, that's what I thought. I couldn't trust my mother after all.
Ten years have passed since I first discovered my mother's infidelity, and as an 18-year-old woman who no longer trusts my mother, I once again checked her phone. As I opened her messenger app, I trembled, and all my fears started resurfacing. I found a strange old lady's name with the guy's surname at the top of her messages. I clicked it. It was his mother's account, but it was him—the same guy from 10 years ago. The same guy my mother has been cheating with all over again. I read their conversations. He reached out to my mother first, and I was right; they had stopped communicating for years. But that doesn't really matter now that they're at it again. The guy said something, and my mother replied, "I actually don't know why I replied to you. I could've made a different choice and blocked you instead, but I didn't." I crumbled. I blamed myself for why it continued, but I also couldn't keep myself from hating my mother all over again.
I think it started just recently because I always check my mother's phone and found nothing until that recent moment. It became my habit to check my mom's phone while she slept and read their nasty conversations. Well, the guy's nasty messages to my mother—she unsent her messages after he saw them, so I really don't know what her responses were. I despised her more. She seems to be doing well with my father while also having an affair. My poor, clueless father. I really want to tell him. I badly, badly, badly want to confront my mother. But I don't want to have a broken family. I hate myself just as much as I hate my mother and the guy she's having an affair with. I don't know what to do.

With the Delta Emulator on iOS I recently started replaying pokemon games on my iPhone.
it's really cool and fun but my biggest "issues" with it are:
1.Playing on the iPhone 14 Pro feels not so much easy on my hands. buttons are not positioned well and I miss click alot even with bigger button skins. and also my hand cramp alot if I just lay on bed and try to play for long periods. So how does the MM+ compare to the iPhone in this area? is it much more convenient and easy to hold/play?

1. Cheats and OS. I saw a video on the MM+ and pokemon that show's that this device is most "plug and play" available. you will have all games and cheats available in few clicks while on the iPhone I have to add cheats manually by typing codes and this can be super annoying. is it True that the MM+ comes pre installed with everything related to Pokemon? games and cheats and so on?

Other than that. I feel like iPhone does 3ds games much better because you can actually have touch and 2 screens properly but I saw the 3ds games being played with a layout on the right side and it seems "Ok" and not something that can ruin the 3ds games exprience.
so bottom line I want a device to play gen 3>6 at least. and my iPHONE is perfect for that but have some issues I'm having trouble with ( also the loss of battery and forcing my self to switch screens all the time for messages and such)
I'm placing a big order on Aliexpress so that's why I'm asking now on the MM+
to make sure if it's the right device for me.
Also I believe i need to make sure it's v2 with RTC? and get a seperate card readesd card instead of the ones the store offer on Ali?

TW: Domestic violence, ideation, SA
These past couple months of my life have been transformation, but exhausting. I recently lost my grandfather to a terminal illness, the man who supported me in countless ways and really brought our family together when he first got sick. His death was crippling for the first couple weeks, but I have since been able to see that his suffering coming to an end is worth more than the rest of us having him still with us on earth. His passing put a lot of things in perspective, including my deep rooted unhappiness in my long term relationship and my unhealthy relationship with substances. Throughout this time, I lost a number of friends to the breakup, many of which led with the whole "bros before hoes" mentality, so much so that not a single one of them reach out when my grandfather did eventually die, and I had never felt so alone. In the mean time, I was able to grow very close with a group of coworkers my age, all in their twenties. On nights where all I wanted to do was get drunk and ignore my problems, they would drive me out to the dam and sit and listen to me sob about how I felt like I wasted the last couple months of my grandfather's life getting drunk with people who threw me away when I didn't want to party any more, all in the name of distracting myself from his inevitable death. They stepped up to the plate when I broke up with my ex and he lost his mind thinking I was a horrible person for not wanting him to come to my grandfather's funeral and just wanting to be alone instead of in a relationship where I was doing so much heavy lifting for little payout. I also had to come to terms with the fact that my ex and I only ever had sex when we were drunk because I really didn't enjoy it, but there was one time where he blacked out and didn't even remember us sleeping together. During that encounter, I had begged him to stop, but he couldn't hear me I guess, and he kept going until he finished and I just laid there and cried while he passed out next to me. I now know that was rape, but in the moment I felt like I did something wrong. That period of my life was so fucking hard, but I made it with the help of some awesome people and newfound sobriety.
Among the group of coworkers was Jack (25m). I will admit, I got butterflies the moment he walked into work that first time, but I never planned on acting on it; it was just a surprising thing that had never happened to me before. He and I started a friendship when he opened up about being new to the area, his desire to move up the ladder in the industry we both work in, and told me all about his dog who he loved so much. His girlfriend at the time, Alyssa (26f) had gotten a job here and they moved three hours north for her job, and he figured he might as well start working at a serious job in his dream industry. Our friendship grew when he commented to my good friend Tony (23m) and I about the growing resentment he had for the area and his girlfriend. Apparently, for years she had always been very dependent on him while still controlling most aspects of his life, but since they moved up here, she had stopped doing any house work, taking care of their dog, and demanding that he stay home to spend time with her instead of going out to meet new people in town (we work in a very social industry, and when he first started, we all got together and offered to take him out to see new things in town, meet other big people in the industry, etc, but didn't take it personally when he said no. However, this convo made it very clear that he wanted to go those four times we tried, but he was informed by Alyssa that he was a selfish bastard for wanting to go out without her and she felt like he hated her so much that he was trying to use work as an excuse to leave her alone. I can't make this up). He started crying about how he felt like a maid, like a doormat that she walked all over and how he wished he had never moved up here, how every time he tried to break up with her she threatened to kill herself and he couldn't live with the thought of being responsible for her death. Tony let Jack know that none of that behavior was okay, and we as a group talked about what Jack really wanted to do with his life and what was holding him back. Shortly after, Jack broke up with Alyssa, who once again threatened to kill herself, got violent with him, and blamed him for throwing in the towel when she did nothing wrong. Tony gave Jack a room in apartment to stay in when it became clear that Alyssa would attack Jack anytime he was home, and he officially moved out within the week. Our coworkers all banded together to make sure he had furniture for his new room, bought him a dresser and a bed frame and we each took our cars over to his old place to move him out. It took a village, but he now has a safe apartment of his own with Tony and he has repeatedly thanked us all for letting him fall apart without judgement. A few months later, my grandfather passed and I was shown the same love by our little group. I have some amazing coworkers.
I was sitting next to Jack in the back of Tony's truck when I got the call my grandfather died. In that moment, it became clear that he really did care about me, and I am so grateful that he was there for me even when I swore I didn't need anyone. This all happened shortly after my breakup and newfound sobriety, so I was an absolute mess, but Jack didn't care. I opened up to him about my assault, my problem with drinking, and all the ugly parts of myself and he never once treated me like damaged goods. He and I fell apart and helped each other try to stitch together new lives at the expense of our old ones. I constantly am reminded by friends and family how much happier I am now, and I can give a lot of that credit to Jack and his patience and care. The same can be said for Jack, too. He and I hooked up one night months after I was single and felt slightly more in control of my emotions, and after doing that a couple more times, we started dating five months ago.
Now here comes the kicker. Jack has made some shitty choices in the past that I did not know about until we got together. Apparently, he had cheated on one of his exes at college, and when he and Alyssa first got together, he had been sleeping with two other girls who he cut things off with pretty suddenly when he got the chance to sleep with Alyssa, then they started dating a few weeks later. There are a number of girls that he kinda fucked over before the age of twenty, but he doesn't talk to any of them anymore and knows that he was in the wrong for all of them. Growth, I hope. I found out that he was still somewhat connected to one of them, and when I told him how worrisome that made me, he immediately apologized for not realizing earlier how that would make me uncomfortable and quickly (per his own volition) let her know that he did not want to continue talking because he felt it was clear she only really wanted to sleep with him and she had very little respect for his monogamous relationships. She flipped shit and he was glad that he was able to cut ties because apparently that wasn't the first time she tried to guilt trip him into staying in touch with her. But mostly, Alyssa has become a fairly constant fixture in our relationship. Because they had a dog together, Jack has to ask Alyssa when he can go over there to see the dog. She only does it on her terms, which is understandable, but she will constantly blame him for not taking care of the dog (Tony has two cats, and while Tony wants Jack to take the dog to their apartment, he doesn't think the cats would feel safe and they are already very skittish). She texts him biweekly saying that she found something of his, like a box of ties, a thing of utensils, etc, and demands he come get them and walk the dog asap. More than once, she has called him early in the morning asking him to come over because something is wrong with the dog, but most recently she called at 7 am saying "You need to get over here now, something is wrong with the dog. This shouldn't all be my problem and you should be the one taking care of this." He tries to get more info but she refused and said it shouldn't matter, he should just drop everything and take her to the vet and stop asking questions. He asked her to wait a few hours and if she still needed help he would come. Turns out, she clipped the dog's nail too short and the dog was bleeding a little, and that's what the phone call was for. But most alarming, Alyssa texted Jack repeatedly when we were on a lunch date saying that he needed to come take the dog because she was going to the mental hospital for suicidal ideation. Understandably so, we get the bill and Jack loses his mind in the car. He was terrified. She never did go, and when Jack reached out to her mom, she said Alyssa was fine and had no idea what he was talking about. She texts him randomly telling him he better come spend time with the dog because she's thinking of moving south again, three hours away, and will basically text him threatening stuff all the time all with the guise of him seeing the dog. I know this is all something I signed up for, but between the crazy shit with Alyssa and his cheating in the past, I don't know how I got myself involved in something so messy. Yes, he was being abused and now he is so grateful for the love I give him, but I still feel somewhat insecure based off how much say Alyssa has on his mood. He doesn't fold for anyone like he does for her, and while she or us will move out of state within the next year, I guess I mostly need to know what people recommend in terms of me feeling more secure in myself. This is a bug weight on my shoulders and while I do love him and am happy he his around, I need to prioritize myself above all else. Please help.
TL;DR: My boyfriend (25m) and I (21f) have been through a lot. His ex girlfriend is very manipulative and I want to make sure I am taking care of myself to be the best version of myself after having a very transformative year (newfound sobriety, death of my grandfather, loss of many friends, and grief over a past relationship). I don't doubt that he loves me, I just want to look out for myself and make sure I am making healthy choices while we navigate a very heavy period of our lives together. Thanks in advance.

okay so, before you say anything i know that i’m quite young. i’m (16f) and seeing this guy around my age (18m) i’ve been in a relationship in the past, but only really lasted 2 weeks before he cheated on me and went off with another girl and ended things between us, so i really don’t have that much of a dating experience especially at my age.
this guy that i’m currently seeing i have only met 3 times, including yesterday. the first time we met was lovely, i remember being really nervous to meet him, but we ended up going for a nice walk along some hills and had really good chats and got to know each other some more.
the second time was a few weeks ago. we went to these woods near a park and sat down and talked. we spoke for hours and hours, enjoying each others company and overall having a really good time.
now, i have a lot of friends who are around my age and have lost their V cards and things like that, but i’m not like that. and so when he kissed me in the middle of walking to the bus stop in one of the fields on the way there, i didn’t like it. not because i don’t like him, but because that was the second time i had met him and his tongue was already down my throat and i don’t want him to just to pretend to be acting all sweet and nice just to get into my pants. and you might be thinking, why didn’t you swerve him? i’m quite awkward and bad at rejecting people so i just went along with it and i’m also not a stranger when it comes to kissing, but that doesn’t mean that i did want to kiss him in the first place.
but putting that all aside, when i met him yesterday is where i’m really questioning if i like him or not. when i first saw him he gave me a bouquet of flowers which i thought was sweet of him and he gave me a kiss on the cheek. not so bad right? is what i thought until we found a nice bench to sit on. we were sitting, chatting for a bit and then he put his arm around me. it was nice for a little bit, smooth as well but then he moved from putting his arm around me to full on like hugging me on this bench which i’m not going to lie i thought it was a little bit weird because this was the 3rd time i have ever met this guy and he was being overly affectionate with me. and i love physical touch, it’s one of my love languages. but not with a guy that i barely know. he also kept putting his head on my chest and hugging me like that from the side, a bit awkward and weird to see if you’re someone going for a walk lol.
anyways, this is where i really was wondering if i like him or not when he would compliment me and straight after kiss me. this would of been fine if he kissed me like once or twice in total of that day but when i say he probably kissed me around 30 times i am not joking. and because he kept kissing and such i got really uncomfortable and cut it short and decided to go home early. in total we spent around a hour and a half together.
but anyways another thing that really got me was when he told me to lie down on his lap while we were talking. i didn’t mind that for like a little bit but my neck got sore and i don’t know i just wasn’t really feeling it especially because he kept kissing me on the lips when i was just trying to talk, and on my forehead as well. so that’s when i made us walk to a different bench to get him to stop kissing me for a while and so i wouldn’t have to lie on his lap and just be uncomfortable.
and what kind of shocked me was when we were waiting for my bus, and there was this classroom of kids standing a meter away from us he kept complimenting me, looking at me, trying to make eye contact and basically just trying to kiss me. and it wasn’t going to be like a peck on the lips or a kiss on the forehead it was going to be with tongue because you know when you just look at a guy right before he’s trying to kiss you or something and they make that face? that’s what he was doing.
so overall i think i like this guy but i really don’t like it when he’s being too affectionate with me, trying to kiss me and actually kissing me. he’s still a stranger to me and i’ve only met him 3 times. i want to also communicate with him that i don’t want to be kissing all the time and that i don’t know him enough for any of that but i don’t know how without being mean or losing him. and because i don’t know if i actually like him or not because of all this, i’ve just been keeping his close by talking to him on social media but shutting down any ideas that he has about meeting up, basically leading him on until i realise if i like him or not. and i’ve told my friends about this and some of them are on my side, understanding that i’m not sure if i like him or not ect and others are calling me out for leading him on and saying that i’m being horrible. aita?

Hi, I'm in my healing stage n I've been realising the emotional n mental abuse by my ex boyfriend.
He never admitted that I was his gf in our 6 years relationship to anyone because just in case we breakup it shouldn't leave a mark on him.
He always used to give me silent treatment n leave me confused. He used to say he loves me but can't marry me but gets mad if I start seeing anyone n lable it as cheating.
I never knew what was going on in his life ever, he never shared anything with me but I'm answerable n accountable for everything.
He secretly used to follow my mails, Google photos n locations without my knowledge even after breaking up from his side. I logged off n changed my password after being clear about ending the relationship from my side.
He never bothered about me being terribly sick unless I take help from someone else. Then he love bombs n shows all the concerns.
And moreover he was never physically intimate with me nor emotionally involved except for while fighting. He wanted to save up physical intimacy for after marriage. It used to be like touching a wall or stone. And he used to blame that something is wrong with me like I have no feelings.
He never appreciated my efforts, if I do something big n surprise he just says "good" and just neglects the whole efforts ALWAYS!
I'm often confused if he's Narcissistic but after being educated about narcissistic personality I'm relating to most of the posts!!! I'm glad I'm out of it but it hurts n hits me hard sometimes.

Hi friends, We recently started writing about Danish idioms on our newsletter the Simple Danish Newsletter - I also started posting them here on Reddit, but I have not been great at keeping up, and so now I am 12 weeks behind here on Reddit, and rather than space out 12 different posts, I thought I would do one big post and hopefully get back on track with the postings 😅 So here’s a bunch of Danish idioms for you!
At have det som blommen i et æg
Litterally; to feel like the yolk in an egg. I like this idiom a lot because of how visual it is. It means that you feel good, you feel comfortable, protected, and in the right place.
For example:
A: Se de søde killinger der sover.
B: Åårh, de har sikkert som blommen i et æg.
En heldig kartoffel
Literally, a lucky potato. If someone is especially lucky, in Danish ,you can call them a lucky potato. As far as I can read, the expression comes from an old sailors game, where you would pass a potato around in a circle, and a person in the middle would try to catch it. If the person in the middle could not catch the potato, it was said to be a lucky potato.
For example: A: Jeg har fri på fredag, så jeg kan nyde det gode vejr.
B: Din heldige kartoffel.
A: Har du hørt at Jonas har vundet i lotto? B: Sikke en heldig kartoffel!
En varm kartoffel
Something can also be a hot potato. It is the same expression as in english, where an issue can be a hot potato. Something so hot that it is painful to touch, and so something you would want to avoid. This expression is less used in Denmark, and mostly by newspapers or the older generations.
Lokummet brænder
Litterally: The toilet is on fire.
Either you are in big trouble or you are about to be in big trouble when your toilet is on fire.
Lokum in Danish used to refer to the old shed behind the house, where hole-in-the-ground-with-seat type toilets with no running water were found. Nowadays the word can also refer, with some disgust, to normal toilets.
For example:

• Danskerne er gode til at få psykologisk hjælp når lokummet brænder.
  
• Når lokummet brænder, ved jeg at jeg altid kan regne med dig.
  

Så er den ged barberet
Litterally translating to; then the goat is shaved. Means that something is done or solved. You can use it if you got an annoying task out of the way, either by avoiding the task entirely (and then ironically using så er den ged barberet to humorously say that it was easy), or by actually finishing it.
Example 1: Jeg skal lige færdiggøre den sidste del af præsentationen, og så er den ged barberet.
Example 2: FCK scorede et hurtigt mål mod Brøndby, og så var den ged barberet.
Hvor kragerne vender
Where the crows turn around is used to to mean the same as in the middle of nowhere, although I like the illustrativeness of the Danish phrase much more than in the middle of nowhere. It means somewhere so far away, that even the crows don’t dare go there. You can for example say; Rasmus er vokset op på landet. Der hvor kragerne vender. Or if someone asks you what you did this weekend, you can say: jeg var ude at gå en tur, helt derude hvor kragerne vender. Or if people ask you where you are from: jeg er fra en lille by ude hvor kragerne vender.
Den der kommer først til mølle, får først malet
Litterally; The one who arrives first at the mill will get milled first. This is pretty much the the Danish equivalent of first come, first serve, mixed with a bit of the early bird gets the worm. However in everyday life, you pretty much only hear the first part; først til mølle or you might see something like; “efter først til mølle princip” which was recently added to the Danish dictionary. You might see the phrase if you are looking at items being given away for free or being sold online. I can definitely see how the isolated phrase can confuse new learners though: “Selling sneakers. First to the mill.”
So now you know 😊
at spille kong gulerod
At spille kong gulerod, to play king-carrot. You can use this expression if someone is acting arrogant, cocky, or superior in a pretentious way. You can for example say du skal ikke komme her og spille kong gulerod if someone is being pompous around you. The phrase apparently comes from an old french, satirical opera from 1872, where vegetables from the garden take control over France. Or so I’ve heard. Don’t cite me on that.
At købe katten i sækken
Literally meaning to buy the cat in the sack. To buy the cat in the sack, means you got cheated in a trade, or that you were not diligent enough when checking what you were buying and got something not worth a lot. You can change the person or the idiom in the idiom as in jeg har købt katten i sækken meaning you already made the bad deal, or you can say hun køber katten i sækken in the 3rd person future tense if someone is going to make a bad decision. You can use it as a warning to someone Pas på du ikke køber katten i sækken if you think there’s a risk they will not make a good choice later.
At gå som katten om den varme grød
Litterally; to walk like the cat around the hot porridge. We use this idiom when someone hesitates to speak directly about a sensitive subject, when they skirt around the issue. I imagine a cat, interested in eating a nice bowl of hot porridge, but the cat is hesitant because it is afraid of burning its tongue.
Example: I forbindelse med spørgsmålet om klimaforandringer, gik politikerne som katten om den varme grød.
at skyde papegøjen
To shoot the parrot, or to have shot the parrot, means to be very lucky. It can also mean to have gotten hold of a very valuable object or person. It is in a sensee the opposite of having bought the cat in the sack. Here’s a few examples:
Rasmus har skudt papegøjen med hende Antonina. Hun er godt nok sød. Jeg har skudt papegøjen her I weekenden på loppemarkedet.
Det med småt
“that with small/little” or more legibly: the fine print.
Har du læst det med småt? Did you read the fine print? You will often see this when websites are trying to be transparent or quirky about their terms and conditions. So you might encounter a link or a website titled “det med småt” if you are trying to buy something.
That was all for now 😅 I apologize in advance for formatting problems, as I am writing this on mobile as apparently this is the only way Reddit will allow me to post multiple images.