Hi everyone!
I feel stupid even having to ask such a basic question but there isn't enough text on these vouchers for me to be able to intuit exactly how they work!
Please excuse me typing in English but I want to make sure I'm 100% clear that I'm asking this correctly, because there is some subtlety here that means I'm not fully understanding the French on these vouchers that I have.
Basically I just moved to an apartment in France and my nearest supermarket is a Match. I signed up to their loyalty card (mostly because I wanted to start collecting the Asterix Olympics cards they are currently giving out!). When I signed up they gave me these "welcome" vouchers:
https://ibb.co/fQBvMsL
The thing that is throwing me off is the "cagnotter" which I would usually associate with winning/jackpots. My assumption is that in this situation its akin to "bonus" or "reward"? If so, how does this "reward" work?
For the first voucher - does it mean that if I spend €40 euros, if I scan my card I will get €5 off the price (so I only need to give €35 cash?) Or, does it mean that I will still have to pay €40 cash today, but I will get €5 added to the loyalty card that I can somehow spend at a later date?
Similarly, the second voucher - do I get an immediate reduction of 15% on the most expensive item? Or do I pay full price but get 15% of the value of the most expensive item added to the loyalty card that I can spend later?
Lastly, for anyone who has one of these cards, how does the loyalty work - do I just scan the card each time when paying and they will automatically reduce the cost of my shopping? Or do the loyalty points acrue until they reach a certain point and I will be mailled vouchers? Or some other way?
They didn't explain any of this when I got the card - though again frankly I only got it because I wanted the free Asterix stuff! haha.
Thanks in advance for anyone that can help. I'll be going back to do more shopping tomorrow and don't want to embarrass myself by misunderstanding what I'm sure is a perfectly normal occurrence and way of phrasing things in France.

I watched the ViDOC today and one thing that I thought was amazing if the language they use for the Dread. So I did a little googling(don’t hate me) and found out what the guy was saying is most likely Latin. But slightly distorted. Bungie has sort of been known for using Latin in some instances. Main one being Per audacia ad astra. Which is Latin for Through Boldness to the stars. Or I’ll see you starside.
Going off what he said the closest translation I could find was this: “cosci an etgat voto cu vicad.” From what the translator says it means “I was born with a vow to live.”
If it’s broken up a little more there are other phrases that have other meanings but this is what I got!

I hate it so much when I get invited out for drinks, a party, a get-together etc etc and someone cheapens the invite with an excessive use of phrases like: “oh but you totally don’t have to come.” or “I mean, I totally get it if you don’t want to, like, you definitely don’t have to come.”
Got invited to go hiking a few days ago. It’s a perfectly fine invite! I assume i’m booked for that day. Then, I get invited to something else that happens on that same day by a different, smaller, group. I was considering skipping out on the hike for this, but over the phone, the person who invited me continuously kept saying “Oh it probably won’t even be fun anyway. Most people are going on the hike so I totally get it. I mean, just like don’t even worry about coming unless you totally want to, like you definitely do not have to come with!”
I picked the hike. Why invite me to something if you clearly think it won’t be a good fit for me?? Just don’t invite me?? It makes me feel like an afterthought or a 2nd option.
The same thing happened again a day later with another group. I picked the one that was welcoming and made me feel like I was wanted.
As a guy who had a transformation into an outgoing extrovert a little later than most, I am admittedly still scarred by years of exclusion, bullying, and overall uncertainty with relationships from my quiet ugly duckling years.
When you invite me to something and then continuously reiterate that I DON’T have to come, I start thinking that maybe I SHOULDN’T come. My little monkey brain assumes that maybe you’re saying these things because you don’t actually want me there, but feel obligated to invite me.
I’m very grateful for the friends I have and the fact that they even invite me to things at all, but this is driving me nuts.

As far as I can tell, my boyfriend has a dismissive avoidant attachment style and I am healing from an anxious avoidant attachment style (I am doing much better than I previously was in my last relationship but I am still working through some things).
I am seeking some advice on what to do about / how to approach him to communicate about the following situation:
For context, we are also in a long distance relationship. Due to our schedules, we had not been spending much time together over the last 2-3 weeks and had also had multiple arguments / disagreements about various things.
A few days ago, it was his last day before he would be away at work for 4 days (unable to communicate due to the nature of his job, which I’ll be keeping private). We were on good terms and had been texting throughout the day and made plans to sleep on the phone that night when he got home. More necessary context is that I have an anxiety disorder and occasionally deal with panic attacks. That night, I had a panic attack (nothing to do with him or our relationship) and he called me as I was coming down from it.
I answered the phone with a shaky “Hello” and he said “Hello my love, how are you?” in a cheery, sing-songy voice and I said (still shaky) “One sec”, his voice then dropped and he said “Are you okay?” And I said “I am, I just need a second”. He said “what’s wrong?” I said “I just had a panic attack but im okay I just need a sec” and he said “alright I’ll let you be” and I said “what why?” And he said (irritated tone) “because I thought we were going to play x (insert name of game we play together) and fall asleep together but you’re all upset” and I said “well I would still like to, I think it would be a good distraction” and he said “alright.”
We started playing the game together but he was speaking with a very irritated, snappy tone. I asked him what was wrong and he said “what do you think?” And I said I didn’t know and he said “i was in such a good mood from (things he had done that day), I’m looking forward to sleeping on the phone with you, spending time together and I call and you’re all upset, and now my mood is crushed and this is my last day” I told him I was really confused by that because my mood didn’t have anything to do with us and it didn’t feel good to have my partner react so poorly towards me (without empathy, care) when i was already down. the conversation then escalated and was quickly ended with him saying "fuck this, i dont want to deal with this right now" and ending the call.
For more context, him getting angry and ending the call is a reoccurring behaviour between us that we’ve discussed before. I find it super triggering because it’s usually at a moment where I feel desperate for connection but he needs space. A few days before, we had agreed to a compromise where if he needed some space he would take it but then come back after a reasonable time (20 mins - 1hr is what we agreed on). This didn’t happen as he was going to bed and then is away now til Monday.
When he ended the call, being I was already at an emotional low, I tried calling him back but he didn’t answer. I texted him “can we please just try to leave things on a good note where you’re leaving tomorrow? Please answer, you’re really hurting me” but he had turned off his phone at that point.
Yesterday (the day after this incident and his first day gone), he called me in the afternoon (I was very surprised by this) and just asked me how work was and told me about his first day back briefly, it was just small talk with a tense undertone and nothing was said about what happened. After some uncomfortable silence he said “well I’ll let you be then” and I said “okay” he said “okay, bye” and I said “bye”. No normal I love yous or anything like that were exchanged.
Today he sent me a snap that said “Gm hagd” - he only communicates in acronyms like this when he’s being angry/distant towards me so I responded with a “Gm u2”.
I know that these efforts at communication are him trying to make an effort with me because previously he wouldn’t have contacted me at all. I do appreciate the effort.
We will need to have a conversation about what happened in a few days once he is back. I don’t know how best to approach it and that is what I am seeking advice on. I’ve done a lot of reading today on attachment styles and non violent communication but I can’t seem to figure out how to apply it yet.
The “when this happened, I felt this” phrasing doesn’t seem to make him feel less criticized/ less defensive. I want to figure out a healthy way for both of us to resolve things like this but I don’t know the best approach.
From my perspective, I was at an emotional low and instead of supporting me, my partner got upset with me for it and abandoned me. Thanks to therapy, I can appreciate that “abandoned” is too strong of a word choice and that’s my anxious attachment coming through.
There’s probably more context I could give to both of our sides but this is long enough so far. Thanks in advance for any advice and I am willing to answer questions if it will help!

Hello,
I really like the story I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream. In particular, I really like that title. I am writing a short story about a character who ends up trapped in their own mind and has to watch as some entity who's not them ends up piloting their body, unable to do anything as they watch the thing essentially fuck up their life and hurt their loved ones.
I want to use the phrase "I have a mouth, and I can't scream" in the short story, but I'm not sure what the copyright laws and such are for that. I've heard titles are fair game, but I'm not sure since I've changed the words. The story isn't going to deal with A.I. or anything like that, but I thought it would be cool to explore the reverse situation of the original quote. Anyone know what the copyright is for this?
Thank you :)

I don't know exactly why I'm making this post, I just need advice and if anyone has similar ar stories to share.
My ex boyfriend with BPD and I broke up a couple months ago, he discarded and blocked me, but at that point I emotionally checked out of the relationship. Since the breakup, I've been doing incredibly well, reconnecting with old friends, focusing on my job, etc. I say all this to let you all know that I'm not necessarily mourning the relationship. Him leaving me was the best thing to happen to me since I've met him.
His sister and I are still close, she's low contact with him and so I felt it wouldn't hurt me to keep in touch with her, recently she let it slip that she saw (from social media) that he posted a ton of him and his new girlfriend. At first, I didn't care at all, but curiosity got the better of me and I snooped his account.
I was crushed to see that he posts pretty much mirrored how he used to post me, the gifts nearly matched each other ther perfectly, the same date spots (in weirdly the same order too?), and I even recognized the same PHRASES he used to describe me. I don't know why it hurts so much? I have no desire to go back to him, but I feel like I wasted so much of my time and emotions on that piece of shit.
We were each other's first relationship, and we were together for almost 3 years, I just feel broken knowing I never really mattered at all to him... It's like he sees our relationship/me as the test run or something. I just feel a sense of embarrassment for even dating him? If that even makes sense

Hi, so I've been observing this sub and I sort of wanted to point out a running theme I see here on this sub.
So basically it seems quite popular to assume that a man only wants to get laid if he says very pro woman things and is misandrist which to me seems obviously very shallow but a lot of people here make that assumption and you are entitled to that but is that really their only motivation? I don't see women having this same motive at least not straight women. I've heard of a term like pick me but I don't know if those women want to get laid I see it happen more to men and that feels like misandry because it reinforces the idea that men only want to get laid and women have pure intentions like for some reason in out society women have an easier time with sex but men not so much so they have to be whiteknights I guess I don't know that just reinforces toxic ideals particularly among staright men and women
What do you think might be an actual motive?
Honestly I wish we can just uplift all genders all people without needing a motive other than wanting humans to thrive. I'm not a whiteknight nor a pick me I'm really sick of the gender war
Edit : It's really no better than when feminists call a man an incel its just another flavor of misandry. I don't even really feminists telling the so called pick mes they aren't gonna get laid. Apparently women can I guess no matter what I don't know. I hate double standards it hurts everyone so do all these dumb labels. I have a feeling ill get downvoted but I do get annoyed with the phrase she's not gonna fuck you bro cause like I don't know if your trying to say he or she or whoever isn't entitled to a woman which obviously but at the same time it reinforces the idea that male feminists only want to get laid and don't have pure intentions so pretty gross in my opnion and it seems like some of you might be projecting certain frustrations which I think I get but I wish we could slowly get away from these toxic sayings

Hello, as the title suggests my brain does certain things I don't enjoy. For example, there are numbers that I really like and don't like. There's no patter or for me discernible reason for it, they just make me feel a kind of unsatisfaction. If I see one of them, I have to imagine or look at a number I like to "get the satisfaction back". I also have this satisfaction thing with light. Whenever there is a light anywhere I have the urge to look at it and move my eyes around it, to get the lights afterimage in my vision. When I do that, I get this satisfaction. I also have that with edges of like walls and such. Sometimes I'll see a phrase or word which I have to constantly repeat in my mind and if I make a mistake I have to repeat it even more. It's really not a nice feeling. I also get this weird feeling in my hip area, it feels kinda warm and it's not a good feeling, but it's kinda addicting. I alsways have the urge to make myself feel it but I also hate it. I also get this feeling when I a move my fingers really fast, just over my body or something. I always have the urge to my fingers when I'm stressed or happy or in like a passive state. Can anyone relate? It makes my life really not that nice.
I hope that made any sense, sorry for rambling like that.

The following file is a document written by one of the Sharashi diplomats translated by us into English. The Sharashi (called by us, they do not have a name for themselves) use very few words for large concepts and we tried to reflect that during the translation. Their diplomats have been designed specifically for human-sharashi communication, yet they are arguably horrible at it. This is not an official document, however, it is the first draft of one. Sharashi diplomats send their text files between each other and the final version sent to us is filled with so much verbosity that it is quite frankly illegible. We are lucky, as this is the first document that we managed to intercept before it got ruined and it tells us a lot about what the Sharashi think of us.
Explanation
The universe is full of extremes. Look at any of the races and you will see them: bugs - hivemind, nobody cares about the individual; individuals - everybody cares for themselves and rarely, if ever, cooperates, that is even if the individuals cooperate at all. We are bugs, but there are few of we, we care only for the collective, and each of we (translator's note: the Sharashi do not have the concept of "us", they do not refer to themselves as they are a "singular entity", to reflect this, all mentions of this metaphorical singular entity have been replaced by "we" or "Sharashi") would die for it. We do not fight between ourselves, because we are a collective. Every "race" is a collective, it is the definition of a race - even humans. Humans are weird. Humans are both individuals and collective, they are both extremes. Somehow. They are average in everything. Take any one human and he will get beaten - sometimes even by a normal bug - not us. Any of Sharashi individuals would destroy any human. But tens of Sharashi would have trouble destroying tens of humans, hundreds of Sharashi and hundreds of humans - I do not know who would get destroyed, and thousands of Sharashi and thousands of humans - we will lose.
It is illogical (translator's note: common phrase used by the Sharashi when sharing their frustration with something) how humans can be both individuals and collective. Signs of being individuals - they care about their death, they care about their life even after breeding, they have the concept of property, and many more. Signs of being collective - any of them would die alone under harsh circumstances, they are used to working together, they like (produce positive reactions) society - most use "school" - being taught by other humans. Their individualism is illogical - on Earth there is "evolution." This "evolution," survival of the best, means that the worst die before breeding and the best get to breed and produce more humans with their genes. This does not exist in bug races nor individuals, there is no incentive to kill one's own race. Just create new, better types of bugs. With humans, there is competition and competition is encouraged. Competition is passed to their offspring - they have more competition. It is illogical. How can a creature which has a defining feature of "competition" work together? It is logical to go away from the collective to breed more and pass more genes, yet they stay in groups, where they are not guaranteed to breed. It would be for the best to kill other members of the group, but if they do, people stop "liking" them (this does many things, but mainly, they breed less). You have to be strong, but not too strong. How can that be in a gene designed to compete?
Humans do compete, but not in groups. It is illogical. They wage war among themselves - not individuals, but millions. They have no incentive - why wage war? Ask any human - we asked many cooperators (humans that tell information to we in exchange for Au) - and they will say "I do not know." We do not know why they do not know and still wage war. It is not in their genes - their genes are designed like this: be birthed, be raised, breed to produce offspring and pass genes, raise offspring, die. Humans evolved from fish, which evolved from bacteria, which evolved from air. Fish do not wage war. Bacteria do not wage war. Closest relative - monkeys, do not wage war. Only species that wage war - ants, a bug race where one colony is not yet dominant. Humans, the smartest species on the planet, wage war. Their singular purpose in life is to produce and raise offspring until they produce their own and die - why wage war and risk getting offspring killed before offspring breeding?
All their systems are flawed. Their organization is terrible, their "traditions" (repeating something illogically) stupid (translator's note: one of the few actual insults in the Sharashi language, a Sharashi being called stupid by another Sharashi is the equivalent of, forgive me for this expression, telling another human that he is a retarded parasite that would do everyone a favor if they decided to kill themselves) - for a further read, look up "religion," but it somehow enhances them. These "traditions" somehow make them stronger. We tried with ourselves and ended up stopping after 222 (translator's note: units of measure are translated into respective earthly counterparts, approximately) minutes - it was unbearable. It was illogical. Yet, groups with "traditions" last longer than groups without. It is illogical. They have fewer resources, fewer opportunities. It is stupid. It somehow works. Their organization is horrible - because of them being individuals also. They can cooperate in small groups, not in big groups. Many disasters have been caused in large groups - when humans go somewhere, there is a possibility that they will end up trampling themselves to death. Their competition with other creatures caused them to develop "panic." This "panic" makes organization worse - they become completely individual, some abandon their offspring. "Panic" is temporary though - only 37 minutes at most. Panic is irrational - it is the result of evolution. Evolution is fast at gaining features (limbs) but slow at losing them - losing is not necessary to being the best. We tried inducing stress (long, weak panic) to humans to debilitate them - they got used to it. It is a feature of humans - they get used to everything. It is not a result of evolution. Where did this come from?
Their organization is illogical, their languages are stupid. Yes, languages, not language. They have more than 6912 languages. It is stupid. They are stupid. No humans speak all languages, we cannot learn their languages. We tried - too complicated. It is illogical - as with all things human, this is also good for them and bad for us. We cannot "crack their code" (one of the phrases used by humans, do you see how stupid the phrase is - it does not mean anything). They can learn our language easily - the only thing hard is to learn all words. They spend the first 2 "years" (360-degree rotation of Earth around the Sun) of life learning basic language and 10 years to learn advanced language. They have to learn words! More than 5184 to understand well!!! They do not inherit, they learn. Do you see how dangerous that is?
We tried exploiting tradition - many die for tradition, even before breeding. It didn't work - tradition must be made by humans. Humans put themselves into groups - smaller and smaller. Humanity - the biggest group, society, state (the most illogical group), city, then many small organizations, smallest group - "family." "Family" is a modern human group - it did not exist in the past - maybe that is why this failed. It is a human with XX chromosomes, and XY chromosomes (chromosomes affect "gender" of human, 2 types - "male", "female", male breeds with female which carries offspring) which raise offspring. This offspring is their own and they show great care to protect it, even die for it. We tried replacing offspring with ours - it did not work. It is not """their""" offspring - even if XX birthed it - it is illogical. Very negative reaction - fewer cooperators. We "apologized" (admit we are wrong to them, we are not wrong). Why is offspring not theirs if it shares both their genes and ours?
They invent fast, even if they don't need it to survive. Cooperators describe it as being "lazy" (Sharashi are not entirely sure what this means, closest meaning is being more individual, it is negative). They do not want to "plow the fields" (organisms in the ground which they then "eat" - "eating" is necessary to survive) - it requires effort - they invent combine to "plow the fields" for them. We are fast at inventing - we invent extensions (translator's note: the Sharashi are known for modifying their own minds and bodies - they themselves are the machines they invent) - but extensions are not sufficient - they can only go so far. Humans invent things by accident, it is illogical, it works. Humans invent things faster during a crisis (war) - illogical, stress strengthens. It is illogical, it works. Purpose in life is to breed, not work. But (translator's note: Sharashi rarely ever use the word but or however) then what do they do in time not spent doing necessary things?
Humans have "entertainment" - things to do during free time. Not while recharging (translator's note: no one is entirely sure what recharge actually means in the Sharashi language, most likely sleep, but could be relaxing, thinking, etc.). There are many types of entertainment - visual (look up eyes), reactionary physical and not physical (translator's note: sports, video games, quizzes, etc.), auditory (look up ears) - we tried auditory (translator's note: music, but also refers to stories - the writer Sharashi refers to music here), seemed the easiest. Many sounds jumbled (translator's note: pejorative term) together - it did not work. Humans did not "like." We asked why - "Because it sounds like nails against the board." We do not know how auditory entertainment works, no human knows how auditory entertainment works, we produce 1 "good" auditory entertainment per 20735 "bad" auditory entertainments. We do not know enough about humanity to produce visual entertainment - we tried reactionary physical entertainment (translator's note: from this point forward, reactionary physical entertainment shall be referred to as sports). Some humans are better, some not. Humans like sports in teams - not individual. They love (big like) to learn, they love teams, they love competition - they love sports. We invented sports - they do not like - "Too complex." We invented simple sports - they still do not like - "Too complex." We invented primitive sports - they love. Humans like kicking the ball precisely, humans like violence (damaging other humans - they mostly heal). We invented a sport with a bouncy ball you kick precisely into humans (translator's note: dankurk, loved playing that as a child). Why do humans like this?
Question: Why appease humans? We do not like humans (translator's note: it means the Sharashi don't care). Yet, we cooperate. Why? We fear humans. Humans are faulty (translator's note: somewhat crazy, in Sharashi language it means a damaged unit), they can release all weapons at we at any moment. We fear the weapons. They are very good at creating weapons, very very good. We cannot remove contact, they would release weapons. We cannot escape, they would release weapons. What can we do? Make weapons? We did not create weapons - not necessary, now that it is necessary - we cannot create weapons - humans would release weapons. We live and hope that humans are less faulty than we know.
Humans are strong through weakness, fast through inefficiency. It is illogical, it is stupid, it is genius (translator's note: highest admiration). Somehow, it works.
That concludes the explanation.

Hi All, Looking for some help to get the ball rolling as while I'm a long time lurker I don't have much experience once things go sideways. It looks like 12ish hours ago my uncle downloaded some sort of ledger live app and put his 24 word seed phrase (trying to find exactly what he downloaded) and within minutes had a transaction for the following Wallet address outbound: 0x865530d8780f6f44260a3a7B502CF353A42546 Wallet address inbound: 0x092E155101772f9bB85047b1Dbe9b1e137647fc Is there anything that can be done?

Hello, as the title suggests my brain does certain things I don't enjoy. For example, there are numbers that I really like and don't like. There's no pattern or for me discernible reason for it, they just make me feel a kind of unsatisfaction. If I see one of them, I have to imagine or look at a number I like to "get the satisfaction back". I also have this satisfaction thing with light. Whenever there is a light anywhere I have the urge to look at it and move my eyes around it, to get the lights afterimage in my vision. When I do that, I get this satisfaction. I also have that with edges of like walls and such. Sometimes I'll see a phrase or word which I have to constantly repeat in my mind and if I make a mistake I have to repeat it even more. It's really not a nice feeling. I also get this weird feeling in my hip area, it feels kinda warm and it's not a good feeling, but it's kinda addicting. I alsways have the urge to make myself feel it but I also hate it. I also get this feeling when I a move my fingers really fast, just over my body or something. I always have the urge to my fingers when I'm stressed or happy or in like a passive state. Can anyone relate? It makes my life really not that nice.
I hope that made any sense, sorry for rambling like that.

Hey guys, I am currently with a guy who has some issues with ED. In his case it is a psychological issue (he has gone through it with his doc and it's not physical. He also is in therapy for depression/anxiety).
We haven't been together for too long, but I have strong feelings for him and I wanna do anything in my power to make him feel as comfortable as possible. I honestly don't necessarily need to have sex with him. For me, cuddling and stuff has always felt more intimate than sex itself (I actually have been wondering if I am slighrly asexual? If it's on a spectrum?). However, I know that it really bothers him that he can't "do the deed" if I may phrase it like this. I try to be as assuring as possible, I told him that I don't give a f*** if we have sex the traditional way or with toys, hands, mouths etc. Or at all. I just want him by my side. I really, really adore him. However, him and I both want to try different things to maybe make it work.
So I was wondering: Is there anything you wish your partner had said/done? Any suggestions?

Is the phrase ¿Qué importa qué dirán? grammatically correct, and does it make sense on its own? My spanish has gotten very rusty, and I don’t fully trust things like google translate.
Thanks!

Who Am I?

Let’s start with who I am. I’m a software engineer in Columbus, Ohio. I got my start in programming in college back in 2007. Back then, I was exposed to three different programming languages: C for embedded systems, C++ for business processes, and Java for desktop/web apps. I began my IT career doing Ruby and Java development in 2012, added Angular development in 2014, and transitioned to full-stack JavaScript on AWS in 2016. Well...sort of. Even though I was doing full-stack JS at that time, I still had to support the Ruby and Java apps we created before.

That’s Great Boomer, but It Doesn’t Work Like That Today

You’re right. Let’s look at a typical person starting in software development in 2024. You’re a recent high school graduate excited to start your career in IT. You scour the job boards and see a ton of well-paying software engineering jobs, but which ones should you target, and what training do you need? You go onto YouTube, self-learn whatever the new hotness is, and think you’re set. Not quite.
In this day and age, the barrier to entry for programming jobs has never been lower. Gone are the days when you had to worry about state management, memory management, and deep knowledge of operating systems, networking, and TCP/UDP stacks just to get your foot in the door. What used to require a 4-year degree and a master's in system design has evolved into 6-week “boot camps.” You’re taught just enough to “make it work” and sent off to your first software engineering job.
Congratulations! You probably know something about MERN or MEAN. You’ve built a few simple web applications and are now thrust into the world of corporate software engineering. But what’s this? Java? Where did this come from?

Pets vs. Cattle

You’ve maybe heard this phrase before, but for those new to the industry, it boils down to this: pets you care for until they’re no longer able to continue living; cattle you care for until they’ve served their purpose and then you “delete” them. In programming, this translates to code that goes on to live for decades and code that serves a specific purpose that you throw away when your needs change. As much as we would like to write code as cattle, the truth is there’s little financial benefit in most industries to do that.

What is Your Company's Purpose?

While some companies compete on technical competency, most programmers end up in well-established companies whose primary business is in insurance, banking, wholesale, retail, hospitality, etc., not companies whose sole existence rests on their ability to provide the best technical solution. In such companies, it’s very hard to convince the decision-makers to update anything. They loathe the day their software architects say, “we need to stop working on your project for 2 weeks to do a framework version upgrade.” To them, that’s throwing money away because they don’t see any value in it. They will let defects and bugs exist in systems and just work around them if it means they can have you work on something else. This leads us back to something I’ve mentioned a few times now: Java.

Java, C#, and Legacy Software

Looking at the 2023 Stack Overflow developer survey, about 60% of professional developers use C# or Java. Realistically, the only things that beat these out are web development and Python (primarily for machine learning). Looking through job boards, this is a common theme, and most web jobs include either needing Java, C#, or Python skills in addition to web development. In this article, I’m going to speak specifically to Java because I know it best, but the same principles apply to C# and legacy software in general.

The History of Why Java is Everywhere

Java was written in the early 90s and widely adopted around the turn of the century. When many companies were looking for software solutions that weren’t tied to the mainframe and were more feature-complete than Bash, the options at the time were basically Java and C++. I realize there were other options, but let’s admit it, no one was going to write their software using OCaml. It really was a language ahead of its time, with a promise to “run anywhere,” including on websites, and without the complexities of writing C++ code. While it had its challenges, its requirement to define everything meant it was so structured that it reduced the risk of bugs, making Java the go-to language in the early 2000s.

Modern Day Java

There’s no way around it: from a developer experience standpoint, Java sucks. To be fair, the language has come a long way. At the time of writing, Java 22 is out, with a roadmap planned out to Java 26, including releasing Java 25 as a Long Term Support version in about 15 months. Java has incorporated many improvements from the community, and modern IDEs help automate much of its verbosity. So it sounds like Java is at least attempting to keep up with modern languages, right? So why does it feel so cumbersome?
Remember when companies adopted Java around the turn of the century? Fortunately for those companies, many of Java’s promises held true. The safety Java provided meant that core business functions could be written in it and often were. Now, 20+ years later, those businesses are still run by that same software. While Java 22 is the current version, Java 8 from 2014 still has to be supported because many companies cannot upgrade without breaking things, and they can pay Oracle to support it through 2030 and beyond.

So Why Is That So Challenging?

Well, software engineering practices have evolved. We’re better at defining and designing software, and our practices have updated because of it. We’re no longer writing abstraction for abstraction’s sake because the overly complex inheritance hierarchies of the early 2000s (like Creature -> Animal -> Amphibian -> Bipedal -> Primate -> Human -> Customer) made things unnecessarily hard to manage. What version of the “move” function are we using again? Where do I need to define “wave”? Guess I better make a “WithArms” abstraction and add it to the chain. But as we have evolved as an industry, we still have to support 20+ year-old software, which is why from a developer experience standpoint, Java sucks.

Where Does This Leave Us?

Unfortunately, this leaves us in a world of really cool things that we won’t really be able to use in our day-to-day job. If we look at the current landscape of things, everything works “well enough,” and there isn’t much incentive to change anything, and there’s usually more incentive not to adopt anything new.

New Languages

Newer languages like Go, Rust, and Zig likely won’t be coming to many companies anytime soon. While they are better technological evolutions of earlier languages, that means your development team needs to have more skills. I have problems hiring Angular + Node + Java developers, and as much as I would love to use the newer technologies to improve my own skills, hiring people who know Angular + Node + Java + Go + Rust would be nigh impossible. Not to mention those developers are $150K/year employees with 10+ years of experience, not $50K/year employees out of a boot camp.

New Frameworks

So okay, new languages are out of the question, but what about adopting new frameworks or technologies within those frameworks? SSR in Angular / React / Vue is beneficial, right? Well...yes, but it’s not quite that simple. If you’re using one of the big three in production today, chances are you have a build pipeline that builds your HTML/JS/CSS files, and you host them on an NGINX server or upload them to something like S3. So you have to convince your company to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars setting things up to be able to deploy, host, performance test, and scale a NodeJS application, and incur the recurring cost of additional processing power to render the applications server-side on every request. And the question is, for what benefit? To take ½ a second off load time and to have a preview thumbnail pop up when someone links your website on Facebook? If you’re in retail, maybe. Anywhere else? Probably not.

You Will Have to Support Legacy Code, and You’re Not Going to Like It

This brings us back to our good old enemy, legacy code. Unlike the days of COBOL when the industry wanted to get off proprietary mainframe computers, there really isn’t a need to rewrite things. Things generally work “good enough,” and a vast majority of us are just going to continue to build on top of what’s already built wherever we work. I’m not happy about it, and the only people I know who are happy about it are those just trying to cruise through to retirement, but from a business sense, it’s the only thing that makes sense. Thank you for your time. Learn OOP, read Clean Code, learn Java. Even though we agree there are better ways to do it, this is the world we all live in.

As a crypto veteran who's dabbled with Ledgers and Trezors, let me tell you, Tangem is a game-changer. Forget fiddling with buttons and tiny screens. This thing is sleek, like a credit card, and connects with your phone through NFC – easy peasy.
Now, the elephant in the room: no seed phrase. Yeah, that freaked some folks out online. But honestly, losing or messing up that seed phrase is a constant worry, you know? Tangem tackles that by using fancy tech to keep your crypto safe on the card itself. It's a trade-off, sure, but for someone like me who just wants a simple, secure way to hold my coins, it's a relief.
Of course, it's early days for Tangem. They could definitely expand their reach, especially in South America where crypto adoption is booming (hint hint, Tangem, sponsorship anyone? ).
Overall, Tangem offers a fantastic user experience for those who prioritize ease of use. If you're a security purist who craves ultimate control, a traditional hardware wallet might be better. But for the rest of us, Tangem is a breath of fresh air in the crypto wallet world.
By the way, if you're feeling convinced and want to snag 10% off your Tangem (because who doesn't love a discount?), use my referral code KEYB6R at checkout. Full disclosure, it might get me a little something-something too. Hey, a crypto enthusiast gotta hustle! Speaking of hustling, if Tangem needs someone to promote their wallets in Spanish, ¡yo soy el mero mero el manda más el que firma los cheques y también el que lava los platos y limpia en baño 😂

My spouse was hyperlexic and I was wondering about our child.
He just turned three and is delayed in speech. He never had a regression but was saying a lot of single words and humming/singing songs using intonation.
However at Christmas he started counting to 10 out of the blue. Then started pointing and naming letters, colors, and shapes like no big deal. He even is saying some letter sounds. We do work with him and we watch a lot of learning videos so he’s been exposed to things. He has just started using some functional phrases and we are so thankful 😭
Right now he recognizes all letters and a few letter sounds, almost numbers to 20, most shapes and colors….early learning is so complicated and it’s hard for me to gauge if this is “normal” or not. I know he’s a smart fella! He gets very excited when playing with letters and number puzzles.
All I know of hyperlexia this far is reading before the age of 5?

I posted this in other LGBTQ+ subreddits, but not this one. Also, since pride month is coming up, it made me think of this again. I'd also like to know about who you think of when it comes to closeted characters.
When I look back at some of the shows and movies I watched as a kid, I realize that some characters weren't straight, or didn't seem straight. A lot of things that I couldn't understand at the time, like innuendos, were easily missed because I wasn't exposed to LGBTQ+ stuff at the time. I didn't even know gay people existed until 2011 when I started high school and further didn't know that some of my friends were closeted before that. They all might not be confirmed though, but are for speculation. So looking back, I can think of some characters from a few shows and movies. If you have any or want to talk about what I responded with, feel free to reply.
Notes: 1) I’m not adding Velma because there is a current lesbian Velma post-2015 and she was confirmed to be queer-coded in previous incarnations. But for the sake of Velma, there are instances where she is with Daphne and checks her out even though she crushes on male characters in the shows. In the 2002 movie, Scooby Doo, Velma and Daphne kiss, but it’s taken out of the movie to keep it PG. 2) For the same reason, I won’t add Korra and Asami as there is a confirmation in The Legend of Korra: Turf Wars. 3) Examples that don’t have some level of a firm confirmation, or that are a longer series, will have more detailed explanations so if you want the TLDR, just bolded titles. 4) Also not adding Marceline and Bonnibel Bubblegum because they've been confirmed
Mulan (1998): Li Shang - biromantic.
Li Shang develops romantic feelings for “Ping” until realizing he’s a woman and gets disappointed. Later on, he develops romantic feelings for Mulan. I didn’t realize it until someone pointed it out later on some time on social media. Like most Disney films, the attraction between them tends to build in the middle of the movie before the climax or during the rising action. In the movie, when they are training, Li Shang pays more attention to “Ping” than he does to the other soldiers. This happens at the same time when the romance normally starts in Disney movies as I mentioned earlier, during the rising action and before the climax. If we’re going to look for the most possible straight explanation for this, he was impressed by the skills “Ping” demonstrated. Eventually, he was disappointed that “Ping” was really a woman named Mulan; and with her being a woman, it wasn’t right for her to be in the army. But in the end, he falls for her anyway and they get married in Mulan II. Some people like to say that his disappointment in knowing the true gender was that he was upset about thinking he was falling for a man, but was really falling for a woman. The normal reaction would probably be shock instead of disappointment.
Victorious (2010 - 2013): Jade and Tori - questioning, heteroflexible, biromantic/bisexual
This will be my longest because it has the most potential examples, probably due to being the longest running of these. With this one, I didn't realize until earlier this month. I think everyone was completely straight except these two. I thought that maybe Jade probably developed some sort of feelings for Tori because of her ability to handle Jade’s behavior and the fact that she’s the first to stand up to her and yet still show Jade kindness. This is the classic enemies-to-lovers trope and it’s seen in some other Nickelodeon shows: Josh and Mindy from Drake & Josh (2004 – 2007), Sam and Freddie from iCarly (2007 – 2012) [however, this one wasn’t great because this relationship was short, toxic, and was only fueled by passion], and Logan and Quinn from Zoey 101 (2005 – 2008) and Zoey 102 (2023). But the likely reason behind this not happening is due to them being girls and this show not having seasons in the later years when gay marriage was legalized. However, on June 25th, 2021, one of Nickelodeon’s YouTube channels called NickRewind posted a video titled “Should Tori Vega Date Jade West Bae or Nay 🖤💔NickRewind”. This shows that Nickelodeon’s staff is aware of the fact that this could’ve and should’ve been a thing, that fans have shipped them, and that the two characters have to at least be bi since this was during Pride Month and it would’ve happened if there were more seasons after 2015.
Beck is the only other person who isn’t Tori who actively challenges Jade and puts her in her place. That may be something that she likes in a person. She seems to like someone who stands up for themselves against her and can match her energy. The only other character Jade crushes on, along with Cat and Tori, is Moose in the episode “Three Girls and a Moose” but he’s the only one of Jade’s romantic interests who doesn’t challenge her because she doesn’t antagonize him. In many instances, Jade mocks Tori using a Southern Belle accent or a 1940s movie star accent. Tori usually defends herself by saying she doesn’t talk like that. This interaction implies that they don't like each other. But, this could provide Jade some sort of enjoyment for a few reasons: 1) mocking someone like what she does with Cat sometimes when she laughs, and/or 2) the fact that she knows Tori will defend herself might be a turn-on for Jade, which would then lead to 3) Jade does this because she secretly views Tori as someone sweet, popular, and attractive. The fact that Tori doesn’t get everyone else to turn on Jade, which very much could’ve happened if she wanted to as she is very likable and has gained the loyalty of the majority of the group, shows Tori cares enough about Jade to want to be her friend. Eventually, they respect each other to the point of helping each other and Jade somewhat admits that Tori is a friend of hers. This shows that Tori’s persistence and general nice nature worked on Jade of all people. This is the classic enemies-to-friends trope. But it felt like there was more between these two that I didn’t realize until now.
(Jade and Tori helping each other [Mainly Jade needing Tori’s help])
Jade goes to Tori for help whether or not Beck is an option as it seems she allows herself to be vulnerable around her despite claiming Tori as her rival that she doesn’t like (although, the rivalry is one-sided). Jade could go to anyone when she’s upset and needs help but usually chooses Tori. Tori is the person Jade goes to especially when it’s about Beck. One would assume that she would go to André because he is the level-headed one of the group and is Beck’s best friend, which could mean he would know Beck more to help her about their relationship issues. Another assumption would be that she could also go to Cat for help seeing as she is her best female friend in the beginning of the show (mainly because she can’t see Cat as a threat) but Cat is a very ditzy person and might not be as helpful. She could even go to her own boyfriend unless it’s about him. If she hates Tori so much and nobody else would be available, she could go to Robbie; but similar to Cat, he might not be much help. Jade and Tori also push each other to do things that benefit them when they don’t think they can. In “Jade Dumps Beck” Jade comes to Tori’s house and uses a broken kite as a metaphor for her problem and that Tori is the one she needs to go to in order to fix it. In “Freak the Freak Out” Jade, along with Cat, need Tori to defeat Hayley and Tara. This was also Jade’s plan and not necessarily Cat’s, but Cat agreed that it was a good one. In “Wok Star,” Jade needs Tori’s help again because of Jade’s play and her dad. She even hugs Tori after she receives help because she felt that she couldn’t deny Tori’s request for a hug. Tori prevents Sheema from brutally hurting Jade any further in “Locked Up!” This also shows that while Jade can insult people, she can’t fight. Ironically, she needs Tori, who is visibly skinnier than her and not aggressive at all, to protect her.
(Jade and Tori interacting well)
Throughout the show, we slowly see them become less hostile to each other. At the end of the “Stage Fighting” episode, they work together to clean up the set. This is probably due to Jade’s inability to accept the fact that she could owe Tori a favor and some level of guilt because Tori took all of the blame while knowing Jade lied. When Tori is trying to figure out what to give Trina in “The Birthweek Song”, Jade suggests some talent. This could be interpreted as Jade acknowledging Tori has talent, but she didn’t say that Tori should give some of her talent; and therefore, this might just be her way of saying Trina is untalented. Jade also doesn’t get as bothered as before about being touched when Tori does it in later episodes like in “Survival of the Hottest/Trapped in an RV” and in that episode, Jade and Tori share the last drop of water from a water bottle. In “Beck’s Big Break,” Jade tries to stop Tori from correcting Melinda Murray. This may be because she doesn’t want Tori to get in trouble even though that seems out of character for Jade. The other possibility is the fear that Beck would get fired because she cares for her boyfriend. They also work together to destroy a car in “The Wood” even though it ends with them damaging Festus’ car. They end up singing “Forever Baby” in both English and Spanish on cue. Also, in one of the segments for The Slap, there’s a request that someone gives to Tori to have someone who she doesn’t like very much peel dry glue that Tori should pour onto one of her hands while playing “Make It Shine” in the background. She picks Jade, who also doesn’t want to be with her; but in the end, they are enjoying themselves.
(Romantic/suggestive moments)
In “The Wood” after Jade tells Tori about her things in her room, she does a weird smirk and growl at her. Although it seems very confusing, it still implies that Jade was interested enough to want to go into her room. Although Jade made a growl like noise to Tori, Tori is confused. One would think that Jade making that comment implies Tori has things like sex toys. But Tori would’ve be embarrassed instead of confused. In “Tori Gets Stuck” when Tori is woozy, Jade offers to take her off Tori’s dress as an attempt to try to take the lead role from Tori in the Steamboat Suzy play. It’s obvious that she wants the lead role; but on top of nearly killing her in this episode, she is also willing to remove her clothes without shame. Then in the next episode, “Prom Wrecker” when Tori licks Jade’s can of Wahoo Punch out of anger for Jade ruining the Prome and Jade still continues to drink out of it either because she doesn’t care or because it’s the closest opportunity Jade will have to “kissing” Tori. They also wear similar dresses, but in different colors which can be seen as an obsession Jade has over Tori. Jade’s side of the story in “Who did it to Trina?” involves Tori asking “Why can’t I be pretty like you?” and Jade further goes along with the idea of Tori thinking she’s pretty by responding to Tori’s comment about Jade being demented with “Oh, so you think I’m pretty and demented?” which is something she probably longs for Tori to tell her (the pretty part). Jade also insults her in a way that also makes Tori seem perfect like she usually does. Tori points at Jade when she says “Baby, til you believe” during the “365 Days” performance in “Jade Gets Crushed. Jade knows that Tori isn’t pointing at Beck because she traces the finger to her left and looks that way and sees Lane dancing and probably assumes it was for him or that she was randomly pointing. Jade doesn’t assume Tori would point at her because Jade probably can’t fathom Tori being into her after their interactions. Then the next line is “It’s not just a phase.” Many people can associate this phrase with people who are openly LGBTQ+ and Tori pointed at Jade, so that could be another hint. This could’ve been some way for Tori to try to express feelings towards Jade without being so obvious. In “A Christmas Tori” there are a few instances of Jade’s potential crush on Tori. When Cat gives Jade a pair of scissors from “The Scissoring” Tori asks if it’s the movie about the girl who comes back from the dead and uses a pair of scissors on her two best friends. Beck replies with “Yep.” Jade, while staring at Tori, responds with “Starting with the pretty girl.” This implies that she thinks that Tori is pretty. Before revealing that she is Tori’s secret Santa, Jade allows Tori to pat her down to check if she has her new scissors on her. Keep in mind that Jade has stated that she hates being touched. While doing a pat down, Tori glances at Jade’s breasts twice (it’s possible this could’ve been Victoria Justice’s own intention in the moment, but still). As for Jade’s present to Tori, an idea for André’s project, there are moments in the choreographed performance where Tori touches Jade twice, on her nose and then on her back directly above her butt. Also, the “Jack Frost nipping at your nose” lyrics are accompanied with Tori touching Jade’s nose and then Jade growls. Keep in mind that this is Jade’s present to Tori. Therefore, the touching and every other choreographed part had to have been Jade’s idea, the same girl who supposedly hates being touched. It’s also worth mentioning that earlier in the episode Jade is upset that she has to be Tori’s secret Santa and begs for Sikowitz to assign her anyone else. Either she hates Tori and can’t stand the idea of giving her a gift, or she is secretly in love Tori and is afraid to give Tori a meaningful gift and potentially reveal her feelings towards Tori. So for her gift, this could be her attempt in this assignment to not only give Tori a present, but to exchange physical contact. She could’ve realized that she could avoid giving Tori something that reveals her feelings by instead turning it into an opportunity for Tori to help André. Beck has mentioned in “Jade Dumps Beck” that the only thing Jade has given him for one of his birthdays was a can of lemonade. This brings another question: If she had anyone else, what would she give? Is she a bad gift giver? Beck is her boyfriend and she couldn’t even find an appropriate gift for him on his birthday. With André’s dilemma, she could’ve helped him with his project. She basically did considering her gift to Tori was an idea for his presentation. Considering Beck’s dilemma, she could’ve found a way to catch and/or kill the cricket. That leaves 2 other people, Robbie and Cat. She probably could’ve helped Robbie or Cat by getting them to finally confess their feelings and become a couple. This episode would’ve probably made her learn how to give a meaningful gift either way. But the question remains, why was she so against the idea of being her secret Santa? What would she do if André didn’t need help and Tori found a way to give him a meaningful gift? Is it her hate for Tori that makes her not want to give her a gift? Does she have romantic feelings for Tori and therefore her giving her a gift will flood her mind with thoughts of Tori and frustrate Jade more? “Tori and Jade’s Playdate” shows that Jade finally receives the wish of being called pretty by Tori. After complaining about each other, Tori suggests that they have a conversation and compliment each other. Jade says to Tori that her singing isn’t awful. Tori then says she admires that Jade isn’t afraid to say what she thinks. Jade then awkwardly says that Tori is pretty at certain angles. Tori genuinely smiles after hearing that. But when Jade wants Tori to tell her that she is pretty, Tori does so and they become silent. Their reactions upon being called pretty from each other made it seem like Jade always wanted to hear Tori call her pretty and Tori always wanted to hear Jade call her pretty. Simultaneously, it seemed like they both wanted to call each other pretty. But when it happens, they don't know how to respond. One thing that gets noticed is that Tori wears a necklace that somehow gets worn by Jade after the episode. This implies that Tori gave it to her, or she stole it. But it wouldn’t really add up. That necklace has been with Tori for a while. Why would she suddenly give it to Jade if no feelings were involved? Was she being nice and gifted it to her? Why would Jade specifically choose to wear that necklace later on? How did Jade get it? Could she have stolen it? Or did she feel some way for her? In “Tori Goes Platinum,” while Jade says that she looks like an idiot, Tori replies with “A … pretty pink idiot … with a thing on her head.” This is another moment where Tori calls Jade pretty, but this time without being asked to. In the episode “Brain Squeezers” after attempting to lie to Tori to get on Tori’s team and failing, Jade grabs Tori’s shirt before threatening her and then glances inside it looking at Tori’s bra/breasts as she does so. (Again, can’t tell if this was Elizabeth’s wandering eyes thing or a Jade thing). While it was an April Fools’ episode, in “April Fools Blank” Jade tickles Tori and Tori invites it by lifting up her shirt in a way that looks suggestive.
(Moments where they have to or unintentionally act like a couple)
They have had to act like a couple in “Helen Back Again” for a lesson about subtext with Cat being their daughter. In “Car, Rain & Fire” they unintentionally act like a tired, married couple who take their annoying daughter somewhere. In this case, Cat is the “daughter” again. Tori even reminds Jade about soaking in the fumes of Mona Patterson. Tori is sitting shotgun instead of Cat, the person who wanted to do this, and when Cat starts to cry, Tori tells Jade “Just drive the child to San Diego.” And in the “Tori and Jade’s Playdate” episode, they play a couple. I think the writers poke fun at the idea of them being a couple, but all it does is make fans want more and it comes off as queer baiting.
(Others)
In “Crazy Ponnie” Jade is interested in getting a Tori doll similar to the one in the episode, possibly because it’s Tori or the fact that it said it was evil. In “The Hambone King” Jade is the first to point out that Tori won.
(TheSlap)
On a picture titled "Jade all prettied up" in Tori's Freak the Freak Out Gallery she tagged it as "Jade looks hot in this pic but don't tell her I said so. She doesn't like when I compliment her cuz it takes all the fun out of insulting me." Tori compliments Jade’s new look even though Jade hypothetically wouldn’t want it. Tori admits that Jade dressed pretty for the Prome. On Jade’s birthday, Tori was the only one to respond. When Jade talks about going to an abandoned mall and asking if anyone wants to come, Tori responds with a yes. Most of this just seems like Tori’s one-sided desire for Jade, whether it be physical attraction or friendship.
Kill la Kill (2013 - 2014): Ryuko and Mako - lesbians.
Mako would always have those moments where she would be near Ryuko and do some weird thing that involved touching her a lot in different places. In the last episode, she admits to Ryuko that she wants to date her and even kisses her in one of her weird moments where she says that she wants to go on a date with Ryuko when everything is done. Ryuko, under the influence of Junketsu, kisses Nui. Controlled or not, she still decided to kiss a girl. Ryuko does go on that date with Mako, even though Satsuki accompanies them. Some people argue that Ryuko and Mako aren’t lesbians and try to say that all of this is platonic. It’s probably because they, usually the homophobic ones, don’t like to admit that characters in one of their favorite shows can be gay. Also, Mako is the only one who can calm Ryuko down at times. This is either because she’s Ryuko’s friend, or maybe because Ryuko feels romantic feelings for Mako. Also, maybe the scissors are an innuendo. Yet there isn’t really a confirmation of this by the creators for some reason.

So this might be a long story but I want to get in all the details and get the opinion of other people who play d&d.
I had previously ran a campaign as DM for Call of Cthulhu a few years back and told this to a new friend who told me he’s a DM for d&d. He wanted to start a new campaign with me and suggested that I play as a warlock with a great old one patron. After reading up on this, I really liked the idea and really looked forward to exploring the dark themes of otherworldly entities and the madness that comes along with it. ( I never got to play as a character, so I was excited for the opportunity. )

 In our first session, my character (T) throws up a slimy worm thing in the middle of the first night. The DM tells me that because of my background, I know it to be a mind flayer brain worm parasite and it feels me with fear to see it. So I had (T) step on it and go back to sleep. (T) was alone in his own room when this happened. One of my party members tells me “If my character (A) finds out you have brain worms they’re going to kill you.” I just laughed and said that I hoped they didn’t find out. 

In the very beginning of our second session (T) throws up another brain worm as he slept and I decide to have (T) sneak out and into town and sneakily implant the worm into an NPC as they slept. All of my stealth and sleight of hand checks were successful so no one knew anything about what T was doing. So after a full session of clearing out a haunted mansion and selling off some loot, we go back to our rooms.

 This is where things took a turn. Another player (M) said that they wanted to sneak outside my room and “see what I was up to in there.” I didn’t really understand why (M) would do that since I literally saved them with a health potion while they were unconscious. There was no in game reason for (M) to do this. But they passed there stealth check and I failed perception so the DM went on to describe (T) throwing up another brain worm. (Which (M) heard by passing a perception check) This time the Elder Brain revealed itself to (T) and said some things about building an army. This brought gasps from the other players and a look of disdain from the player playing (A). Now I decided to have (T) say the phrase “we need more.” out loud. My idea behind this was that I wanted to help create some mystery and suspicion within the party. Give us some RP. Maybe (A) could spend a little time following (T) and try to figure out what was going on. 

Well that’s not what happened. (M) immediately ran to (A’s) room and woke them up and told them what happened. (A) asked the DM “Is that enough to know what’s going on?” The DM had (A) roll insight with a DC of 17. (A)rolled a 16 and said “that’s close enough” and proceeded to have (A) storm into (T’s) room and stick their axe in my face (their hand was literally an inch from my face) and yell “what’s going on in here?! What are you up to!?” I had (T) make up some lies (passing deception checks) but (A) was not letting up and I was eventually attacked by both (A) and (M). At some point the DM took over for me and had freaking tentacles shooting out from my wounds instantly knocking out (M). The session ended in the middle of combat and we have to pick up on my turn next session.

DM admitted there was some heavy meta gaming going on from (M) and (A) but we could fix it. Idk the whole encounter left me feeling down. The player (A) was trying to gaslight me saying “this is what you get for accepting the brain worms. You did this to yourself” I honestly don’t know if I even want to play with them anymore. Did I really mess up so bad that my party tried to kill me in session 2 or did the other players mess it up by meta gaming? 

I recently learnt the word / phrase agnostic atheist and aggravated a lot of people on this forum by commenting on how utterly stupid a phrase it is. It really annoys the hell out of me and I just realized why - it insults me as a human being, a rationalist and an atheist. What's more, if there were a metaphorical war between 'truthers' and 'theists' common usage of a phrase such as this would be a victory for the ignorant.
Prior to explaining why I seem to have a visceral reaction to such a phrase I would like to quickly summarize a couple of basic, to me obvious, reasons why one wouldn't coin or use it.
First, obviously, its an oxymoron.
Second, and much more egregious is it uses an equivocation of language guaranteed to cause confusion and make it harder for people to discuss these topics accurately. There is a reason vocabulary in a field is specific to that field. Anytime we take the definition of a word in one area of study and use that definition in another area of study (where it is already used and defined) we are (probably) creating a logical fallacy.
We see this all the time when theists say idiocy like, 'The theory of evolution is just a theory,' or ' "All things have a cause, so the universe must have a cause which we call god.'
That is a short step from, 'You can't be an atheist because you can't provide conclusive proof of the non-evidence of god.'
I want to emphasize that, every time you use the phrase agnostic atheist you are reinforcing nonsense arguments like, " 'You can't be an atheist because you can't provide conclusive proof of the non-evidence of god.'
If we start conflating the philosophical meaning of agnosticism with what the commonly held religious definitions are it means every time there is a debate or conversation we have to stop and explain the context of the words and define them, making them functionally useless.
And finally, why this really offends me is because it suggests that both the people using this phrase and those of us who identify as atheists think we are inherently unreasonable, intellectually dishonest and/or simply unintelligent. As an atheist my opinions aren't based on faith and change in the light of reasonable evidence. This may or may not apply to all atheists but it is the standard we apply to most aspects of our life except religion. Thus if you really want to use the phrase, 'agnostic atheist' it creates a presumption that my beliefs are as irrational as a theists.
Basically it is falsely equates 'atheist' with 'believer in non-god religion'. Let's do a little experiment.
Let's pretend the word 'atheist' means someone who doesn't believe that there is life on our moon. It is their believe that based on the sum total of knowledge available to them and humanity life does not exist on the moon. If tomorrow we went back and found life, moon worms. confirmed it, brought back samples from 2 expeditions, confirmed they weren't contaminated, saw different DNA etc. I would no longer be an atheist, I would believe in life on the moon.
That is the expectation. The base state. Humans may be certain of something based on their knowledge today but in the face of adequate satisfactory evidence they will change their mind. Atheists claim not to be operating on faith. When you qualify atheism with 'but if there is some evidence out there' your statement becomes redundant. I choose to presume (and am frequently wrong) that an atheist isn't just joining a tribe and trumpeting the same lines but has made a choice based on the evidence available and that they continue to do so.
Language is incredibly important. It conveys meaning directly and subtly. The subtext of using this phrase is 'atheism is a blind belief like any other unless we qualify it'. Further it says, 'We won't use the same rules for logic, language and reasonableness that we expect from others.'
It is a stupid phrase that adds no context, value or clarity and frankly, having now watched some you tube videos about it, undermines the credibility of all other arguments by made by people who use it because it shows how susceptible they are to faulty logic.

Whats the word or phrase for when someone wrongly thinks they achieved something entirely through their own merit and therefore everyone should be able to achieve it.
Ie. Someone who takes an unproven supplement and lived to an old age, and whenever someone tells them they are lucky they would answer that it’s because of the supplement and that anyone who is unhealthy or died young is their own fault because they didn’t take the supplement
It’s a logical fallacy of some sort, like assuming just because you did something, that an outcome that could naturally occur is invetibal.y tied to the thing you did

Today calls were slow and my Amazon grocery order arrived so I put my headset on mute really quickly and ran out to retrieve it
As I’m bringing it back in, I’m goofing around - giddy, unpacking my things
I’m laughing to myself as I recall someone somewhere at some point on the internet saying “I ain’t even had not even a PIECE of liquor” and I’m cackling at the stupidity of the verbiage “piece of liquor”, repeating the entire phrase to myself loudly, over and over again, laughing harder each time
I’m slamming my refrigerator door shut as I’m mocking this internet character who’s one profoundly funny sentence lives in my head before jumping back on to my bed to return to work when I realize that not only has a call been active for the past four minutes and x amount of seconds, indeed my microphone was on the entire time
This woman heard my entire isolation induced, deranged jester insanity for four continual minutes when what she was expecting was to receive assistance with her children’s medical insurance
She then heard me come to an abrupt, petrified halt once I fully comprehended that to my total dismay, this entire episode of mine was not only heard by a customer, but too was recorded and stored permanently on a database for quality assurance to review at any moment, should I be so unlucky for them to randomly select it in particular when they perform random call audits
I froze, as I heard her recognize that I’d finally came to the phone and was like “…oh my g- oh my God this shit here is crazy… Hello?! HELLO?…”
I immediately pressed disconnect in a feeble attempt to wipe this experience from my short term and hopefully long term memory if I’m blessed enough to never have this mistake brought before me to be judged for