Throwaway account because I don’t want this story getting back to me lol.
I've been on/off with a girl I met in college for 2.5 years. Currently a recent college grad and she will finish her undergrad in August. For context, I have generalized anxiety, OCD, and depression while she has borderline personality disorder, generalized anxiety, depression, and ADHD.
Long story short, she emotionally cheated on me, lied to me about another guy and her values, and manipulated me into staying with her for about half a year in late 2021 and early 2022. We were apart for half a year, then one of my friends told me to give her another chance and I did. We were on/off during this whole time and after because of the guy she was emotionally cheating on me with. She’s pretty great most of the time but has recently had random periods of being terrible.
During our time apart, she wasn't with anyone sexually or emotionally. She went on a date or two but that was all. I pursued other girls, but nothing happened.
Fast forward to January of this year, l've endured a lot of disrespect, childishness, and immaturity from her. l've basically had to show her how to be respectful in a relationship and be a decent person (she asked me to, and those are her words) despite the fact that she has been in two relationships before me and I had been in none before her.
She broke up with me in late January because I wasn't being as affectionate with her as I was during our honeymoon phase. She has borderline personality disorder (she was diagnosed in February of this year) and was having an emotional episode where her feelings overwhelmed her. Later she admitted this and said I wasn't actually doing anything worth leaving over, but that she simply wanted me to say I would touch her more rather than accepting her breaking up with me.
The day after we broke up, she began talking to a guy who hit on her last summer (I didn't know about it at the time). At the same time, she was texting me telling me she wanted to take back the breakup. I caved in after a week only to find out she met up with the guy five days after our breakup. I took her back anyway, but said she should think about it first. She said she didn't need to.
A day later, she told me she was excited about the other guy and couldn't stop thinking about him. I told her I didn't want to talk anymore. Two days later, I tried to win her back and she said she felt the same way when I told her I loved her. She said nothing happened with the other guy three times when I asked before eventually admitting that she gave him head.
I agreed to put the past behind us and gave her another chance anyway. However, over the next month, she admitted she couldn't stop thinking about the other guy and said I deserved better. She wanted to break up and while I did fight for her, I eventually just let her go.
We talked about wanting to stay together over the next day, and I eventually called her drunk saying I loved her. She said she felt the same way. I asked her if she had sex with the guy and she said that while she wasn't planning on it at the time, she impulsively decided to that morning after she started talking to him and he asked to come over.
She has reiterated over and over that that she didn't like him anymore when she did it, but that she didn't want to be alone and was being impulsive like she usually is. Also that she was excited about having sex with someone new after 2.5 years. She made him stop halfway through doing the deed and he cut ties with her after that. She said it was because she wasn't over me and started dissociating.
We've been trying to work things out. She's going to therapy for her BPD and trying to fix things with me, but everything she did hurts. She's been showering me with attention and gifts and promises to do better like she normally does after she messes up. She said she would stop the lying and betrayal, but I found out a couple of days ago that she's been lying about when she began texting the guy again after we broke up most recently. Instead of texting him the next day, she texted him less than a couple of hours after the breakup. No telling what else she's lying about.
My question is, how do I leave? She's my first love and I know she isn't a good person, but every time I try to leave, she just worms her way back into my life.
TL;DR: Ex/Situationship cheated emotionally, then a couple of years later left me for another guy twice and came back after having sex with him. She's my first love, first relationship, and many of my firsts. She is a great girlfriend most of the time but when she isn't, she's the worst. How do I leave and stay strong enough not to take her back? Or is there any way this can work out?

My cat has cancer and had a lump removed but it wasn’t enough etc. Naturally, her health is degrading but she has been relatively normal. For a period of about 3 weeks her appetite GREATLY decreased. We were trying different foods, treats, human food, more gravy foods but I was at the point where it seemed like it was time to let go.
I brought her to the vet and they said she was mostly dehydrated (I kind of brought her in to talk about end of life stuff…). They gave her some fluids and then she did a little better for a day. After that she was almost worse than before.
About a week later, after a particularly bad day she had a pretty intense barfing fit in the middle of the night. She was left dazed and tired. I thought “this is it” but all of a sudden she heads to her dish and chows down on all the foods I had been trying her on. A dish of dry food, an entire pack of this hydration stuff and all her treats. Now days later her eating is pretty much back to normal and she seems much better.
What happened? How could one barf fix her ability to eat like that after weeks? Gas? Some muscle thing? I know her cancer isn’t going to go away but she’s so much better since that barf!

For the record, Im a junior(going on senior) in a very good school for wrestling, top 10 in a good state.
I was never a sporty kid till someone introduced me to wrestling, I joined, got my ass beat but, I stayed at it. Wasn’t able to get varsity spots for long, but wrestled some varsity in sophomore, and freshman year. All lost matches. I’m basically just, a JV warrior(don’t worry I’m not a head and arm merchant).
I’ve done this sport for 3 years now. And I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t see myself progressing on the mat, or in my lifts.(I did have a very threatening paraspinal situation but that’s passed)
I have no idea what to do anymore. I’ve done the offseason wrestling, I’ve done the lifting. And nothings worked. And everyone my year has progressed past me, as do underclassmen. I feel left behind and left out by my team and coaches as well(multiple have made racist remarks towards me, team and coach).
Not to mention my already declining mental health, I should mention that as well. Wrestling and my preformance in it has lead me to do many acts of SH and, while driving my self esteem up, has driven me as well, into the ground.
Help

So my brother is on day 17 in the hospital. He was seizing a lot which is not normal for him. Just had a shunt revision where at PV Shunt I believe was put in. Since it was put in he’s been having more frequent seizures. He went to the ER where he stopped breathing and thank god my dad was in the room or he would have died. Took 3 minutes to revive him, he was intubated for a week. Went to Baylor Scott and White in Grapevine, TX to do a continuous EEG. 48 hours. No seizure activity. Had an LP that showed proteins in his fluid. He also had pneumonia, the flu, and what we now know is fungal meningitis. He was on trileptal. They then put him on a high does of Fliconazole for the meningitis, and also they were CRUSHING UP extended release Depakote, 500mg at a time 3 times a day. He was comatose. Barely could keep his head up. Drooling. My dad said find something else. So now he’s on a lower dose of Keppra, which he’s been on before, to see if that might still help without the side effects. He has short bowel syndrome. No colon. And 30 percent of his small intestine left, he has an ileostomy that he’s had for about 13 years now. My question is, are there neurologists in West Texas that are worth a damn and can help my brother get back to normal? Because goddamnit this inadequate care where I live, and it’s a city of 175k, is maddening.

Hello everyone, im doing this post because i want to get some advice. Im graduating in a week. Ive been anxious because of it already from february and I told myself that I have to start preparing for it with big time advantage otherwise im gonna get crazy. Sadly I completely failed and I did exactly what I didnt wanted to happen.
I have one week left and Im completely down. Still havent started to learn something although Im thinking about the fact I have graduation in a week all the time throughout the day. I have around 50 questions(topics) to learn and I feel like its extremely impossible. Everyday from morning to night, Im trying to push myself into doing some work already, but I always fail. On days I actually try to study, its always around 30minutes before I run out of patience and stop. My head is so chaotic whenever I try to learn something and just keep me thinking about the fact I failed myself and havent started earlier.
I also feel like I dont even have any motivation anymore to even try and mostly feel like giving up. My classmates are already done with learning and started revising, which makes me even more frustrated and jealous also. Im thinking and saying to myself how is it so easy for them to just learn this much stuff without any problems and especially start with a big time advantage and dont have problem with doing everything on the last minute.
I told myself milion times that Im done with doing stuff on last minute, but always end up in the same situation. I tried every thing to help u with focus but nothing really helped me. Im so dissapointed with myself and feel like im the most lazy person i know

I was diagnosed last year with ovarian cyst(s) on my left side and that’s where the discomfort keeps occurring. I also have some weird feeling in my left foot and hand, radiating up my leg so to speak. Is this just all in my head or can all of this be related? I have not been diagnosed for PCOS or Endometriosis. I’m on a higher dose of BC as of December 2023, been on it for 5 months now. I also have taken Evening Primrose Oil and Myo-Inosititol D-Chiro.

I'd like to start this off by saying I have little to no knowledge on how wills and estates work. I am trying to find answers on behalf of my mother and will try to keep this as straight forward as possible but I am extremely overwhelmed and could really use some help
*I would like to include before people think I'm just after money.. I want nothing, not a dime. My mom has cancer and this money would quite literally change her life, and even if she received nothing, she just needs the closure to be at peace with the situation.
TLDR: Crack head "step uncle" is executive my grandpas will and is being dishonest
I live in Ontario, Canada. My dear grandpa passed away 1year and 10 months ago. Up until I was 16 he had no contact with my family, I reached out and we started rebuilding...10 years go, we formed a great bond. He then said he was in the process of changing the will to include my mother, brother and myself (as previously we were not named.)
Fast forward, my Grandpa started to get sick and mentioned to friends and neighbours that his daughter and grand children would be taken care of. He had never mentioned it to us, I never asked because I was not expecting anything. He got extremely sick and became non verbal, that being said, I was under the impression that the paperwork got done and but I don't think it did. We think the will stayed to say to leave everything to his new wife. My family and I continued a relationship with her after he passed and she ensured she was going to switch things to include us. Unforuntatley she died very suddenly less than 6 months later. I do not know what got done/didnt get done.
Everything was supposedly left to her son (for privacy reasons lets call him bob), Shy of a life insurance policy my grandpa took out on my brother when he was born.
Heres where it gets complicated. Bob is a crack addict. He was "handling" the affairs and progressively got worse. My grandpas will was in probate from June 2022 - March 2024. He has essentially strung my mom along for the past (almost) 2 years guarenteing that as soon as the probate went through he would give my mom a substantial amount of money. But giving her very limited information. It is estimated that including the house (approx $500,000) there is 2 million dollars in assets between my grandfather. I have only found this out by looking at paperwork laying around the house. I also know my grandpa had 200,000 in a hidden account from his wife and numerous stocks, mutual funds and investments.
"Bob" has said there was "next to nothing left" and only received 500,000. We haven't seen any papers, gotten any information, and he has been extremely secretive about the process. He also has mail addressed to my brother about the life insurance but refuses to give it to him. All I have is a death certificate. I read somewhere that I have 2 years in Ontario to contest this and as per my mother wish I kept the peace until today I went to discuss with bob and was threatened.
Im ready and hopefully not too late
I guess what I'm asking, Can I contest the will? How can I find out anymore information? Can my mother get anything from this? I don't have much money to afford a lawyer, are there resources I can use? How do I find out about his investments? is there anything I can do to get to the bottom of this? Where do I even start?
I'm likely missing information, its hard to all summarize. My family just needs closure. Any and all information helps, I appreciate anyone who took the time to read this. Thank you.

Hello Vets, we were woken up at 2am to our 5 year old Boston bark and then yelp. When we turned on the lights we found her at the foot of our bed on the floor not moving. She was laying on her side and both her left rear and front libs were stiff. My husband did a quick all over exam and didn't find anything that appeared unusual so he tried to place her on her feet and she would not bear weight. She appeared calm but over the course of 20 mon while we monitored her did have some panting and awkward breathing pattern. So we drove to the emergency vet and there exam showed that while she would now bear some weight all her limbs were behaving unusually. They indicated possible seizure made her fall of the bed, maybe she sustained a blow to the head or there was something else neurological going on. As mentioned at home she was very calm and not making any pained sounds however after arriving at the vet she stared being visibly agitated and would move around the little bed we brought for her trying to get comfortable and whimpering. The vet suggestion this could be caused from the confusion of her limbs not doing what she wanted or expected of them. We decided at the time to do bloodwork and I asked if they could give her something to help her settle. The blood work results came back normal which she said was a very good indicator that she did not have a seizure so we decided to go with the anti inflammatory and take her home to rest. She has pretty much slept and rested since she we arrived home at 5am. She just recently did stir and so we allowed her to move as she wanted and just stayed close. She's still moving her legs awkwardly but she was bearing weight. She moved a bit and then settled into sort of lean into my son's leg and stayed there till we picked her up and put her back in her little bed and she's now sleeping again. I called our vet as soon as they opened but they can't see us till noon tomorrow. The butorphanpl lasts 6 to 8 hours according to the vet but I didn't think to ask how long it would take to see a full improvement if the anti inflammatory/pain med would work. The paperwork says 6 to 12 hours which takes us to 10am to 4pm but I wonder if I should just call the emergency vet and have them do the neuro referral or wait to see if she improves and see my vet tomorrow and see what he suggests. Guess I'm also looking for options from other vets. Pic of our girl at the vet for attention and a short video of her after the butrphanol kicked in. I've been too distraught to get a video of her strange movements and I don't want to disturb her right now to get one but I can add later if I can. I've attached Vets notes and her bloodwork.
https://imgur.com/a/gzsuarP

As If It Were Kismet: Prologue
Matt tore through the brush, blind in the dark. He didn’t care where he was going. He only knew he needed to be elsewhere. Far from here.
Behind him a creature howled that shocked his mind. It’s form was cruel and dangerous, though female. Nothing like the young woman she had once been. Nothing but a girl, a small and slight female.
It’s guttural growls and howls only grew closer as Matt tried to pick between seeing where he was going and getting away. The few times he looked he caught sight of the creature behind him. Hopping through the air with a speed that told him he was being toyed with. As if he were a mouse being played with by a cat.
But the reflex in him to run kept him going. His adrenaline going as hard as it could. The tightness and burning in his core tensing and locking up as his legs felt like there were being burned from within while taking on more of a heaviness.
His lungs were starting to betray him as he tried to gulp big breaths of air but only rapid and shallow breaths were all that he could manage. His brain was starting to burn….and then he was falling.
Falling down the side of a hill he saw the creature dart in a spring towards him, imperceivably fast almost. Catching him in mid air it seemed.
Managing to wrap its body around him and cushion his impact against the ground as they rolled. His mind barely took in what was happening during the roll. Only starting to understand what was happening once they were still.
The creature's triple D-cup breasts were unmistakably pressed hard against his back as he laid facing up at the night sky.
For a few seconds the world stilled and the needle light pain hitting the center of his brain took over for the cooking heat his brain had felt. His whole body felt heavy and reluctant to move.
Even if he could have really moved, a dull ache came over his limbs making them feel stilled and trapped as if by immeasurable amounts of sand that had engulfed him.
Slowly the arms holding him started to move. Moving so the creature's hands could start exploring him. Causing Matt to unstoppably let out a pathetic moan that made him go cold inside as hands lifted up his shirt and started to touch his exposed stomach and then his chest.
He would have whimpered so pathetically had he not still been in the depths of terror.
As its hands felt and groped his pecs he tried to situp as if to get away. For his efforts, his reward was a hand around his throat and a collection snarls and growls against his ear. A beastly, guttural voice spat words at him while somehow holding a feminine tone.
“Don’t move….I don’t know if I can calm down…”
Her words were not helped by her moans in his ear and the subsequent kissing of his ear. The flesh of his ear going between her lips as she moaned and seemed to pant. Releasing it and licking the side of his face with a moist warmth. He could feel its spittle, viscous and coating his flesh where the tongue touched. He could smell something in his saliva. Something that subtly entranced him.
Matt went stock still with fear and the confusion of mixed arousal. He barely perceived her right hand traveling lower on his body. A surprised moan and shudder echoed in the night from Matt’s lips as she took ahold of him. Her hand above his pants but still….stimulating him.
A light squeezing and almost probing of her digits kept him aroused and confused within her grasp. Resigning himself to the strange fate, Matt looked up at the stars as his mind tried not to shatter under the strange maelstrom of events and sensation that had started mere minutes ago.
His mind was only more confused as a slight figure, feminine in build, how it seemed to thunk the ground audibly as she landed on her feet out nowhere. Her knees barely bending under the pressure of the landing. Yet dirt was kicked up anyways and some of it onto Matt. Feeling it pepper his shirt and pants as it fell.
The figure, lit only faintly by moonlight, roared some dark tone Matt could only perceive as a demon as her eyes went bright with a crimson light. A light in the darkness that should not have been. “Let him go you bitch.” Was its words following the roar. Spittle escaping its mouth with faint droplets hit Matt's face.
The creature holding him by his throat and crotch seemed to tighten the grasp of both hands as it roared back. “HE IS MINE!”
The figure paused with a moment's hesitation. He was also her quarry. She had felt his fear without him knowing. His confused arousal. His fear. His terror.
And now he laid at the center of a struggle between two monsters. Unsure of who he wanted to win.
As If It Was Kismet Ch. 1
Matthew Berkshire hadn’t seen his mom in two years. Not that he had seen her much over the last six years.
A messy divorce between messy people and mom’s chaotic want for a life in Alaska had been one of the most…upsetting times in life. Setting him up for so much of what had defined his life thus far but then that had really started two years before he ever turned.
His ear buds were basic and simple. A part of cheap five pack, common for his life as he was known to lose little things. Small things. They had a mix of metal and hard rock playing in them. Some classics, some alternative. Whatever made him feel something, anything. Even if it was hate. Anger. Rage. It was better than feeling numb. Not belonging.
The escalator down to his lone bag to go with his lone carry on showed his mom waiting for him. His had a type, that’s for damn sure. Not that it helped him in the genetics department as he was stuck at 5’9” to go along with his mother’s five foot even as his dad stood six foot. Forever leaving him to feel small, to pale, under his dad’s shadow. Did he ever stand a chance?
The guy next to her with the unkempt former seventies porn stache was “Dave.” He’d met him twice when his mother came and visited him in Florida. To his credit the guy didn’t look annoyed. Kind of concerned kind of which made Matthew want to break his frozen look but he was well practiced. Having removed any note of sadness from his face through much…tribulation.
His mother’s look on her face betrayed a hint of worry as the bruises on his face lightly showed up close. Saying his name was his like a distant echo that belonged to someone else.
Dave cut in and pulled out his right headphone. “What the hell bud, they knock you hard enough to hurt hearing? Your mom’s asking how you are doing.”
Matthew pulled out the other bud and grunted an empty “sorry.”
“You still have bruises after two week? What did they do to you?” His mom’s voice was full of worry. Something he hadn’t heard in….too long. Too long to make him feel anything. To ever make him believe there was any sincerity to her words. To not think her voice and mannerisms were an act. An act by someone who…wasn’t really there.
“It’s only fair. I took a nose. Fractured a couple orbital bones. Left one with having to get his jaw wired shut. And one will never walk right again for what I did to his knee cap.” Matthew said it all with a bored and disinterested tone. Perhaps well rehearsed.
“My man, handing out ass kickings, not bothering to take names.” Dave was quick to be the typical man’s man about it. Matthew wasn’t quite done yet. Lifting up his shirt to expose the right side near his kidney. Revealing a nasty scar from a six inch blade. “Luckily they gave me this first so they could rule it all in self-defense. The fuck didn’t get it in more than inch before I ruined his knee cap and then I took the nose of one of the fucks holding me.” Now he chose to smile keeping the well practiced dead look in his eyes.
No retorts. No questions. Just horrified looks on their faces. As he liked. As he preferred. They could hate him. They could be disgusted by him. But by God they would fear him.
“Well the doc did a good job sewing you up.” Dave commented uncomfortably. “Dissolving sutures. Ain’t they grand.” He smiled again and let it abruptly fall off his face and started walking to the carousel for the baggage claim.
Waiting and making small talk with Dave as his mother stood in silence. He was not the little boy she abandoned. The little boy she left with an angry man. While never hitting him. Left him in constant fear till he turned twelve and just didn’t care anymore. Something snapped. Broke. And he didn’t care if he died. Didn’t care if he stole. Didn’t even care if he killed. He just knew not to get caught. Something left over from his grandfather’s wisdom which came to make more and more sense with each passing year of life since that thing inside him broke.
Finally his bag came around and Dave went to try first to grab it but Dave practically leapt ahead of him. “Is that your grandfather’s rucksack bag?” his mother asked in a perplexed voice.
“Figured it’s been around since Viet Nam. So it’d serve me better than any of the worthless stuff they called luggage.” Dave commented after Matthew’s words. “Well hell yeah I still got mine from Desert Storm. You know the first one.” Dave laughed and Matthew eyed him oddly. Be it in the south or whether it was Alaska, country boys are country boys he guessed.
The car ride to the two people’s house, as Matthew thought of them. Was uneventful and full of vistas he imagined metropolitan types wetting themselves over. At most they meant isolation to him. Furtherness from the world as there were no mountains in Florida. And what mountains he had last seen in another state had been when he was eight. Another life, to Matthew it felt like. A life alien to him.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 2
Dave and his mom’s place was some two story type tucked into a tree line far up an elevated point. It was by no means the highest point in the mountain but it certainly felt up there.
Rocks were where the driveway should have been Matthew thought. Grabbing his backpack and rucksack from Dave’s jeep was no hard thing for him. Matthew was in formidable shape for someone his age, maybe even five years older. He had gotten a mix of fairly big shoulders and arms along with the chest to go for it when compared to most kids his age. A side effect of working out at least twice a day. First thing in the morning, some time in the evening, and the school’s gym when had had a good semester in school before he had to leave Florida.
Dave tried to come up and help him but Matthew walked past him towards the house. His mom was not sure what to make of his demeanor. Matthew was not the sweet kind boy he had once been. But she had been gone from his life essentially for a long time.
Ushering him into the house she cracked some joke he did not hear. He was too busy looking about and seeing a mix of old outdated decorating mixed with the strange and odd flair of his mother. Color contrasting against drab and dated. Like brightly painting over an old home that was falling apart he thought.
“Your room is this way Mattie.” His mom brightly intoned.
Without expressing any interest he followed his mother. Still faced and nonplussed. Just going along with the current. Pushed and pulled with its roll like a piece of driftwood.
The room was simple. A single small bed. A set of rubber weights with a curl bar and barbells. “Your dad said you were into weight lifting so we got you a bunch of stuff. Dave says it looks like his department’s gym almost. The woman’s smile felt very alien to him.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. I’ve got most of my stuff from home.” Matthew starting unpacking his rucksack and pulled out cables of repetitive and mixed colors. A single plastic barbell handle. The ruck sack could be filled with water bottles for added weight during pushups he figured. Remembering a Michael Keaton movie he watched with his dad post-Batman movies where he played a convicted killer using plastic bags filled with water for weights.
Matthew caught movement outside his lone fairly large window that could let him step out onto the roof of the house given its layout.
He saw a number of people running together through what he guessed was the backyard of the property, not that it had any fences to mark boundaries
They wore clothes that looked similar yet different from each other at the same time.”Oh those are the Johnston’s. Really nice bunch of people. Been on the mountain for a long time Dave tells me.”
Matthew looked at the group of people running and noticed the lack of resemblance. “They are related?” Matthew quizzically asked. Seeing a black and possibly a hispanic person amongst the bland looking white people.
“Oh well they are all adopted but for one or two of them…besides the parents of course. The family has a long tradition of taking in orphans they say. Real nice of them to do that don’t you think.”
Matthew looked at his mother and the hosier accent made no sense to him as he arched his left eye brow. Her and his dad were both from Florida. Born and raised. Sure her parents were from New York city but…
Matthew shook his lightly without turning to look at his mother as his vision was grabbed by one of the runners in particular. A girl of moderate height. Soft brunette. A plain beauty he figured with a slim build….and lack of remarkable breasts and rear to make any note of but….girls in general were his type at his age.
She was pretty enough. He couldn’t deny that but he found himself transfixed by her visage.
But the way she turned and looked at him, especially at that distance felt very disconcerting to him. Even if she was smiling like…she was a taste of a bright shiny day. Somehow.
Matthew’s mom noticed the exchange and smiled to herself with closed lips. “Oh that’s Vicky. She’s your age I think. Very sweet girl, who does the charity functions. You know bake sales, blood drives, car washes and the like. I think you should get to know her. Might be good for you.”
A truck horn sounded a couple of beeps in rather succession. “Oh that must be Mack, he said he might come by later this evening but he seems early.”
Matthew’s mother turned and left his room. Leaving Matthew to exchange a few looks with the alluring Vicky as she turned her head away from him to talk to the others in her group and look back at him.
Still Matthew’s left eyebrow was arched. In a way that reminded him of Spock from Star Trek that he and his grandpa used to watch on some streaming service or another.
As he heard ambient chatter elsewhere outside the house he figured to check it out as the alluring sight of Vicky would be around he figured. It was dull to stare at artwork. He was a boy who preferred jet skis and the like. Something he could ride and enjoy immensely. Even if at times it got him stabbed.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 3
Matthew sauntered out of the house and down the rockway that stood in for a driveway.
A few new people had come over from what he could first surmise of the situation. As he got closer it was obvious they were indigenous people. A couple of grown men…and a girl?
She was mousey. Maybe five foot. Hiding behind glasses and a big camo jacket that was far too big for her. It looked made for a grown man and the backwards trucker hat on her head kept her long black a beautiful mess of sorts.
She was cute in a way. A little androgynous but she had a cute energy to her. She reminded him of the more tomboyish Puerto Rican girls he had gotten into back in Florida. Given the deer corpses in the back of the truck….probably more dangerous to play with given the men in her family.
Small chatter passed between the adults when the girl noticed but turned away, trying to hide the tiny hint of a smile.
“Oh Mattie, this is Mack. He works with Dave at the sheriff’s department and John, he’s with fish and wildlife.” Matthew nodded at his mom’s words with some blankness as he looked at the deer the in the back of the pickup truck.
“Gale tells us you hunted with your dad some in Florida and Georgia.” Mack offered with a light hearted laugh camouflaged by his big simple and cheery but husky way he spoke.
Looking in the back of the truck he spoke. “We used lever action thirty-thirties and Mosin Nagants in seven-six-two-fifty-four-rimmed.” Mack and John whistled in an exaggerated fashion. Leaving Matthew to wonder if they were mocking him.
Mack spoke. “Well we just used thirty-odd-six in a custom gussied Garand.” That caught Matthew’s attention. “You have a Garand…” Matthew finally demonstrated interest in anything. “My dad has an SVT-40 and a Hakim 8mm but he always wanted a Garand but was too cheap to buy one.”
Gale, his mother, chimed in loudly. “Oh his Dad loved his guns but was such an odd duck about how he bought or why he bought them. Never made sense to me how he wasn’t a collector but he didn’t get the latest and greatest.” Gale laughed uncomfortably. At least it seemed that way to Matthew.
Matthew pointed to the girl with an underhanded pointing hand. “And who is this? A cute little mute mouse or does she have a name?” Dave and the other men laughed.
Mack again spoke. “Well you people call her Rebecca, she’s my adopted daughter.” Matthew was taken aback by what he heard. “You people?”
Rebecca kindly spoke with a soft but almost melodic voice as she struggled to maintain eye contact. “White people or rather not members of our tribe. It’s just easier to appease the colonizer kind of thing. Borrowed from when the Jesuit missionaries chased us up here.”
Mack stepped in. “It’s just easier to have white people names than have them try to say our tribal names. And we don’t want them shortening or Anglicising our names kind of thing.” Rebecca stepped back into the conversation cutting off her adopted father. “It’s an insult to our history basically.”
Matthew cocked his head sideways raising his eyebrows shortly before letting them drop. “Well as soon as I’m eighteen I’m out of here and back to Florida so I’m a sort of involuntary colonizer of sorts. So I won’t be taking any of your land from you. The Seminoles on the other hand are still shit out of luck.”
Rebecca’s smile caused Matthew to reflexively smile. Mack made the moment more awkward. “See Becca, I told you someone off the reservation would like you some. You just have to be creative.” Mack laughed in a chiding manner…Matthew presumed. He sensed that he was the butt of some kind of cultural joke. Like marrying a white guy was some sort of insult or mark of shame. That kind of thing.
Rebecca turning away from him was not something he had been expecting. Her then getting in the truck in a huff left the group in a silence for a moment.
Dave spoke to break the awkward silence. “Well just bring the truck to work on Monday and leave it for me to grab up.” Mack acknowledged Dave and they started to get off as Rebecca looked at Matthew for another instance. Matthew couldn’t look away for some reason as the two seemed to lock eyes for an instance.
Till Vicky and family seemed to come jogging down the road. While Matthew’s eyes diverted from Rebecca’s. Hers did not till she realized he was looking elsewhere. And her vision found Vicky and what had been a hint of smile on her face turned glum and disappointed.
Matthew did not look away from the vision of Vicky but instead of a starry eyed fool looking longingly. It was a baffled look. Well baffled for him, with his eyes drawn narrow and night with a focus.
There was something about her…he couldn’t quite put a name too. The way she appeared to him. One second brunette. The next second blonde or blonde like. As if the color appeared in her air and disappeared in fractions of seconds. Much the same way her body almost seemed to…shift…very subtly…smoothly. A nicer bum. Larger breasts. And then back to a simple and plain form. Feminine no doubt. Attractive. But not so…remarkable.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 4
The next two days passed without incident. Nothing of any real substance or challenge to note.
Matthew got settled somewhat and started working out almost immediately. Exploring around the woods but Dave told him not to go far. Especially without a hunting rifle. Dave had left a simple semi-auto Winchester out for him. His bear gun as Dave referred to it with its four round magazine. But Matt figured till he got some practice with the rifle to leave it alone. He made a hiking stick like his grandpa taught him and treated it over a low fire. He would take some electrical tape for the end his hand would grip around. Plenty enough to ward off anything smaller than a bear he figured.
The ride to school was a pain in the neck but simple enough. Dave would let him use a clunker pickup truck he had laying around. It wasn’t pretty but it would get him to and from. Even if it was from the eighties and still backfired on occasion. But for now Dave and his mom took him on their way to the sheriff’s department.
It wasn’t much of a school. It wanted to be modern but its fifties original construction was very obvious. It serviced the pipeline families and familys’ of fisherman who worked the seasons in between their time at the pipeline.
Matt was to report to the principal for some reason Dave and his mom wouldn’t share. Which annoyed him but he figured it was to read him the law of land. Small towns with their big views of the outside world and like.
Dressed in jeans, a grey sweatshirt under a light jacket with steel toed boots set him more apart then he expected. His buzzed head didn’t help matters. Already he was feeling like a stranger in a strange land but he was quite strange after all. And he liked it that way. Normal people were so pathetically disappointing to him.
A secretary or assistant or some such led him to the principal’s office. Where it reeked of real wood that was old and fabric and upholstery that needed to be updated for the last twenty years, Matt figured.
“This is Matthew Berkshire, Principal Andrews.” The man was turned with his back to the door and he was quick to wave her off as he turned her around.
He was an older man. Fat and large. Tall with a body built like he had once been fit and a demeanour of annoyed and irate already as he fixed Matt with a scowl and look of disgust. Another worthless government whore. Matt thought to himself. His father and his grandfather had bestowed unto him a natural disrespect for government workers and the figures that wore unjustified authority as a shield but pretended the weight of the state was not at their back ready to crush all who resisted. Little figures of valor pretending to be mighty and alone but acting with the tyranny of the state and all the backing.
“Mr. Berkshire, please sit down.” His tone wasn’t unusually hostile, just gruff. As if he had better things to do.
Matt complied and took a seat in the chair while maintaining a friendly facade. Not everyone was an enemy. And not everyone needed to be an enemy. Even if anybody could be any enemy. There was no reason to make enemies you didn’t have to. Another of his grandfather’s bastardised wisdoms.
“Well I looked over you file and you have quite the history Mr. Berkshire.” Matt resisted qiuping back a joke. Instead he waited for Principal Andrews to continue as he remained nonplussed and looking as if he felt no need to respond. A simple head tilt with dead eyes looking back at the principle as if he was not even there would suffice.
Matt’s reaction or lack of a reaction rather made Principal Andrews only narrow his eyes with examination. He was not used to a kid not responding to him. Especially with his gruff and hard act going on.
“Well by all accounts you moved here after some problems at your last school. A fight broke out and you did some real harm to your fellow students it appears.” Of course, he would take the side of the perpetrators. School administrators always did. Especially when they weren’t white. Just a fact of the times. Cowardice and pathetic mediocrity was the way they leaned, like good government workers sucking the dick of Big Daddy government. Worthless whores.
Matt chose to reply. “Oh you mean the criminals that stabbed me. Got arrested at the hospital and then pled to felonies. Yeah Florida, with the American counties are good like that.” Principal Andrews went real still. No shame. No fear. No penitence. He didn’t like that.
“Well be it as it may Mr. Berkshire we don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour here…” Matt cut him off responding with a deadpan tone. “You mean self-defense meant to save one’s own life while the cowardly and pathetic school workers look on with zero interest but to keep their money rolling in and will allow known gang members with records of violent acts and crimes that should have them expelled many times over, where in certain Democrat counties such cowardice and idiocy empowered a couple school shooters?”
Principal Andrews looked at the Matt with a note of disgust. “Look here Mr. Berkshire, your beliefs matter not one bit here. This isn’t Florida. We don’t like our way of life being disrupted by outside agitators who have problems with authority.”
Matt did his best not to roll his eyes and let the older fat man drone own as he dead-stared him. Lifeless and without emotion.
The man came to a finish and Matt spoke up without having listened to him or paid him any attention. “Great now that’s taken care of. Can I please get to class and finish my sentence of two years at your wonderful school?”
Principal Andrews huffed and snorted before calling in Vicky. Vicky stood in the corner after entering with a quiet and seamless presence. Matt felt disturbed and tried not betray his feelings as the young Vicky was perceived and not perceived to be moving.
Principal Andrews made the introductions and Matt nodded back. She was to be his chaperone for the day. They had the same classes and she was to show him the ropes so to speak. The ins and outs of the school. The locations of their classes.
He recognized her. It was hard not to. The way her appearance seemed to shift fluidly almost. The petite and skinny brunette ever so lightly had a big bust and blonde hair with curves added when she seemed to shift before his eyes. Like watching a film but each frame had a different person.
Matt didn’t say anything about it. Even if he did he would only be acknowledging his crazed state, if he had one. If.
Unlike an obedient puppy dog he got up in a slow and awkward fashion and followed behind her as his oddly disproportionate frame allowed. Causing her a note of concern for some reason. As if she was seeing something she shouldn’t have been….Or he was just weird. And Matt could admit to himself he was just weird. Part of his charm, he would jest about it at times. Not that he had many people to jest to now.
As If It Were Kismet Ch. 5
Following Vicky into the hall off to their first class was simple. She exchanged small talk and he slightly smiled as if to obviously suggest he was just being polite.
Inside his head, Matt was trying to figure out if he was having a psychotic break. The way Vicky looked kept changing and he looked at the other people around him and they stayed the same.
He was searching his mind as they were walking. And thus he wasn’t paying attention to where he was looking and so fell to his face forward over his feet seemingly out of nowhere.
A series of laughs erupted as it sunk in that he was obviously tripped. Like in prison this was a challenge to his superiority. If he let this pass he would be mocked and sneered at by this same group of boys. He wouldn’t walk to them like he was going to do nothing like a little bitch.
In a rage he turned and punched the stomach of the first face he saw. Some typical blonde haired wannabe jock. He knew from experience not to aim for the ribs. Instead he needed to aim for where he thought the belly button was.
Yells and screams blindly echoed around him as his after the punch he followed up his elbow of the opposite arm slamming into the face of the jock. Harder than a fist, the elbow struck the jock’s jaw and seemingly dropped him against a locker. Just in time to catch an errant and soft punch to the nose that sure enough hurt but did little to slow him down as his dad had taught him to fight through the pain. Blood and scars happened. They were a natural consequence of life to a man.
Taking the punch and falling further into his red state Matt headbutted the punch thrower before another guy arm bared his throat from behind. Which he managed to get his grip on the arm over a letterman jacked and jerk the unprepared boy to the side with him still latched on.
A few feet away from the lockers Matt knew his only chance was to jump and push off the lockers and knock the boy to the ground and so he did. He heard a thunk of the boy’s skull bouncing off the ground and he turned to pull out of the grapple.
The beatings he had taken from his father, the grapples, being choked unconscious. Had prepared him for fighting little bitches who didn’t know what a fight was. It wasn’t gay porn with rabbit punch fists flying.
Blood was running down his face and the pain started to hit him as the threats had been eliminated. Only then did he remember to breathe. Taking breathes as Vicky came up to him with tissues and took a hold of his nose.
“Owww owww owww what the fuck my nose could be broken.” He said to Vicky as she pulled his head up and back.
“It’s ok Carl. It’s done.” Matt tried to look to see who Vicky was talking to. It was a boy taller than his 5’9” by more than a small margin. The boy eyed him bored and annoyed before speaking. “What happened here?” An unoriginal line but one Matt couldn’t be a smart aleck about. “Well you see there was an outbreak of tripping and we all tripped over my dick. It happens.” Matt was about to laugh when Vicky seemed to pull up while still gripping his nose causing Matt no small amount of pain which he audibly evidenced.
Vicky spoke in a tone he wasn’t expecting. As if she was accustomed to issuing orders. “Keep Iris away from the hall till we sanitize the site. We have blood from at least three people contaminating the site. And have Jake bring me a spare jacket and shirt for this moron.”
Carl seemed to acknowledge her orders and seemed to blink away. Maybe the punch hit harder than he expected. He had no time to wonder as Vick took her hand away from his and pushed him against the lockers. With ease he had not been expecting from her form and stature.
Before he could respond Vicky licked his blood covered chin and then his lips and spoke to him. “Focus on me you little blood bag.” Her tone had an annoyed yet feminine sneer.
“Look into my eyes. Look at me. You belong to me. You are just another food source in a collection of food sources.” Her eyes were a beautiful hazel Matt thought. Almost green. Pretty like jewels in some old treasure collections. The eyes he could get lost in before kissing her. Finally Vicky was just a slight and petite brunette and he thought she was beautiful.
She would make a hell of a girlfriend. Some cute thing he could see laying on the beach in Florida on their sides laughing and smiling before trading light kisses while hands wandered innocently. Before his mind could drift further he felt her lips on his. It took him a second to mentally grasp the kiss but his arms were around her back as her hands were at his sides. His eyes reflexively closed as he saw hers close.
It was ineffable to Matt. Beyond words, what was happening. The kiss, the moments beforehand. The way his brain tickled with electricity and gentle warmth. He had never had a kiss like this and he had traded more than a few kisses with at least a few girls.
The kiss was like a warm bath with his consciousness slipping beneath the surface. Their lips only parted to try new angles and approaches as Matt struggled to take in breath. It was a moment he could have stayed trapped in for….he didn’t know. But a curt throat clearing by another girl pulled them out of the moment.
The girl was taller than Vicky. Blonde. With slight curves. Vicky addressed her bewildered and gobsmacked, and perhaps a bit embarrassed. “Tina?”

For me my fondest memory was during Legacy, I was growing a para in this underground cave-oasis area. Humans with torches were enabled and I befriended a group of them, maybe 4-5 humans? We chilled in this cave and it was a good old time all around. I was sitting in this open area of the cave where I could see the entrance though, and this Hypo Trex had poked its head into the entrance and I heard the footsteps. I was stunned cause this was the early days where it was only admins playing them with very rare sightings. The humans and I started panicking and the hypo entered the cave and killed a majority of the humans, leaving me to be the last alive as I ran to the other side of the cave. I was freaking out in person LMAO.
The hypo looked at me, made a growl sound of some sort, and left. I fondly recall watching the hypo leave the cave with those slow, heavy footsteps, floored by the encounter. So cool ingame! I eventually gathered the guts to exit the cave and try to find them again but never did!
Another fond memory was earlier in the game's age when mixed species herding and chat was a thing. I was a shant with trikes, gallis, maias, theris, etc., and we were on that old map with the giant rolling hills where the puertas ate the trees whole. We were nesting at this small pond all gathered around, and it felt like something straight out of The Land before Time. :D
Third fond memory was with a big para herd on legacy. We were fleeing from a giga who was hunting us down for a good 30 minutes, but I realized there were so many adult paras and just 1 adult giga. I turned my para around and started doing the threaten call. One by one, the other paras joined in as a line, we were all yelling at the giga, and the giga assessed the situation- eventually deciding it wasn't worth it and left. It was very neat!
I'm not sure if I'm blinded by nostalgia or if the game has gotten a bit more solitary/cold since evrima, but man, some of those times were really fun. I played legacy on an old laptop at near-minimum settings too, so it was never about how pretty the game was for me personally. :]

I had set up Internet parental controls upon my parents behest after they caught my adolescent little brother have pornographic ads while streaming anime on browser sites. He didn't click on it, but it covered half the screen when he clicked on the next episode. We got a bunch of streaming services after, so he can watch anime without those ads as a secondary precaution.
I had provided the password to my parents when I moved out of the house 3 years ago after getting married and settling down. I get a call from my brother asking for the parental controls password, claiming he knows better now as a teenager. I didn't want to get in between him and my parents so I told him to get it from them. We went back and forth for a while. Him asking, me denying. He eventually made a weird groan saying "fine" and hung up abruptly.
Sorry no drama ensued, he never brought it up again and we do keep in touch. The call still pops into my head every now and then. Should I have trusted him and given the password or left that headache for my parents?

I originally posted this as a comment but the guy deleted the post so reposting here…
The following is some information I’ve noticed that I’ll call a synchronicity between all the events going on. This is a document from the State of NY trial for Mark Hotel vs Weinstraub uploaded to government servers four days ago.
If you look at this document:
https://iapps.courts.state.ny.us/fbem/DocumentDisplayServlet?documentId=Whuxu1lEwI4LpVrGSKu1sA==&system=prod
You can see a timeline breakdown of events that draw a trail linking Weintraub to an unknown celebrity that just happens to match Drake's schedule perfectly and EP telling of some events on Twitter.

1. ⁠First on August 10th 2021 this document discloses Weintraub's reason to have beef with a celebrity over the situation with a bike leading him to be banned from the facility.
2. ⁠On July 17th 2023 a very interesting event occurs that suggests that Weintraub is timing is protesting to align with the arrival/departure of a certain VIP and also mentions an altercation with protestors sitting on the carpet. (Similar event occurs on another day Drake would be there July 18th with paparazzi attacking the protestors)
3. ⁠I want to mention July 21st because there are some interesting tidbits the protestors where chanting there around groping and things of that nature that are relevant to what we discuss here.
4. ⁠July 22nd is the most interesting tidbit of all and I think clearly shows Weintraub has beef with a certain somebody for that I'll let it speak for itself.

July 22, 2023: At approximately 8:20pm, Security Supervisor Mr. Anthony Gutierrez identified three of the protestors standing on the sidewalk. They remained there, in front of the team, without doing any activity. At 9.15pm, a fourth protestor joined them. After waiting in silence for a few hours, at 10.55pm, the protestors screamed "The Mark has “mice"—a statement previously chanted by the Defendant—only when a VIP hotel guest walked out, and then they left the area. The VIP and his entourage questioned the hotel management on the issues of the protestors' comments and wanted to know why they started to yell specifically when the VIP guest was leaving. Once the VIP left, the protestors left shortly after.
It is extremely curious to me that all of these days line up and even more curious if you look over the entire document at some of the stuff Weintraub and his protestors were chanting at "VIP #1".
There is no way this is playing out in court at the exact same time (This document literally was just uploaded), the diss tracks, and ebonyprince's cryptic messages that also involve the exact same dates on accident.
One other thing I would like to note the man that punched the protestor in the face and got into repeated altercations with them was promoted to head of front office shortly after; same guy from AK47's video last night.
Edit: Side note bad faith comments will be insta blocked not dealing with y’all today :P

So I've had this issue for a while and I've worked it out in my head so just looking for confirmation and possibly advice.
Ok so when listening to music my left channel for audio sometimes cuts out or is a little bit distorted then will pop back to life after a bit. I can also fix it if I turn up the volume and it'll stay good for a while.
I first thought this was a turntable issue then quickly realized that if turning up the volume helped then it wouldn't be the case.
Then I thought it would be my speakers or speaker cables. Until i plugged in my headphones and had the same issues. So my question is that if it's my Amp what could be the issue with it.
And would it be and would it be the output side or input side that's having the issues.
(I honestly can fix it really easy by just getting a new Amp but this one was free and it is really nice. 100W Onkyo)

David agreed to organise another search party in the following week, and another in the week after that. It comforted Lee to know he was at least doing something to look out for her, even if she wasn't here to realise it. If he couldn't have Clementine back, something he hated the very thought of, he needed to honour her. Her promises, her legacy, her meaning to him could not be forgotten — and neither could she.
They'd been out looking for hours. Since they set off at first light, the sun had circled in the sky and come back down once again, painting the already orange gates with a golden hue. It was tiresome and their feet ached with the aftermath of walking for miles on end, but it came with the satisfaction of knowing a bed was waiting for them back at the base. Though, he still felt a part of him missing. In a way it was almost like he'd earned the right to have found her, how after all this patience and all this time, shouldn't he be entitled to that payoff now? He walked along with his small group back into the gates, down-trodden. How was he to continue deceiving himself of hope when for all he knew, it was hopeless? That was something he berated himself for even thinking. She had to be out there somewhere, of course she was.
"Open the gates," he called to the person on watch. The large wall of rust and metal creaked, revealing their sanctuary. AJ would be in the nursery, probably colouring wildly on a paper, anticipating just as much as Lee was for when they could retire to their home of the living quarters for a good night's rest.
Ava rushed out of the gate towards Lee in a hurry, not slowing down for a second. "Lee!"
"Hey, Ava. What's-"
"She's back."
He opened his mouth, to exclaim with delight, to ask where she was, maybe to burst into tears — everything, every sound and colour, seemed to jump into existence all of a sudden. His legs weren't worn down with fatigue any longer, and they called for him to start running. Where to, he didn't know, but he needed to see where she was. That's when he heard her voice again, something he realised was a greater privilege than he ever remembered, and stopped in his tracks.
"Lee." Clementine appeared behind Ava, leaning out to look at him. She looked at him with her eyes wide, her mouth that opened in shock turning into a wide grin. She ran towards him and enveloped him in a hug.
"You're back! You're okay, sweetpea!" He said, the words sounding imaginary even to him. "I missed you, Clem. I was so worried about what happened while you were gone. You- you've grown a bit taller." He could hardly believe his eyes, but they didn't lie or show any falsities: just, for once, the light in his reality. Ava smiled at the two of them, crossing her arms comfortably.
Clementine laughed, pricks of teardrops forming in the corners of her eyes. "I tried to get back to you so many times. I- There was so much going on. I didn't know what to do, I-" She hugged him again, burying her head in his shirt to mask her tears. "They said AJ's okay. He's going to be okay, Lee. He'll live." Her voice was muffled and shaky but pitched with glee, with relief and with joy. It appeared she was in just as much disbelief as well.
"I know, Clem. He's better now. They helped him."
"About time," she said quietly, though she smiled.
"Let's go inside the gates, come on. How did you get here? Did you have any help?" he asked, a million thoughts swimming through his mind.
She nodded. “I found people who wanted to help. Lots of people. The ones I came here with were put into quarantine for bites — they only let me out here because they knew you were looking for me.” Then she stopped in her tracks, both taking the time to survey the surroundings and glance at Lee. “You never stopped?”
“Never.”
Clementine grinned up at him. "I knew you wouldn't." Her smile then faded, but the glimmer in her eyes remained: whatever she was troubled by, she seemed to hold onto some hope, or at least she did now that Lee was there. "Lee, I have to talk to you."
"What's going on? Is something wrong?" He watched for her reaction cautiously. When she didn't move, he asked again. "Are you in danger?"
She shook her head and began walking further away, slowly down the unfamiliar streets of New Richmond. "Not here. We need to go somewhere quiet."
Something in Lee felt disturbed again. It should all be over by now, with Clementine reunited with him and AJ better than ever. By all means, they shouldn't have any more problems to deal with. Sure it was unrealistic, but hadn't they earned the right? It was like danger was hanging over his shoulder, eyeing his every move and ready to step in.
"Let's go to the nursery, okay? No-one should be around to hear us around now, and besides, you should see him." He placed his hand on Clementine's shoulder, kneeling down to her level. "He’s really missed you, you know."
"He- he did?" She whispered. The smile on her face revealed she had no doubt he would feel otherwise, but just hearing this was like the first melodic tune after a lifetime of silence.
He nodded.
She rubbed hastily at her eyes again. "Take me to him, please."
...
She sniffled, masking the tears she was choking back as she looked down upon a sleeping AJ inside a crib. "I never would've thought...I mean, even you, I thought we might never get to see each-other again. But I was always so scared for AJ. I knew you could handle things, but he was- he's so little, Lee. I didn't know if he could take much more." The drops cascaded down her face, and she turned her head sharply towards the ceiling to stop them from falling. She breathed in deeply and looked back at the toddler one more time. "My little goofball."
"He was tough."
"That's for sure."
"Lingard helped us out."
Her head propped up again and she wore an intense expression. "He did?"
"Of course he did. He found more antibiotics, and he's going to be taking them for a few more weeks, and..." He stopped himself when he noticed her silence. It wasn't unlike her, but this was a different kind, the kind that silences even those outside of it. "I know you have your issues with what happened, Clem, and so do I — but he really did help. AJ is better now."
She shifted uncomfortably.
"Lingard is a good man," Lee continued.
"I'm not saying he wasn't. But Lee," she said, eyes darting to each side in turn. "We cannot trust them."
He looked confused. "What?" Just as he had begun to fully trust them, maybe more than he ever had in the time he had been with them, it came crashing down like it had before on that night of the plan. He wasn’t sure what to think anymore.
Clementine straightened herself up, preparing herself to explain. "I didn't leave for no reason, and it wasn't by choice. Joan forced me to leave."
"Joan forced you? Clem, are you sure-"
"I wouldn't lie to you, Lee!" she defended.
He held up his arms to ease her. "I know that. I'm just saying that if Joan wanted you gone then how come she's allowing you to walk free now?"
"I haven't seen Joan yet, and I don't think she knows I'm here, but I'm betting she's going to have something up her sleeve for when she finds out." Clementine rolled her eyes at the thought of the woman leading communications, being one of two council leaders she wasn't afraid to show her distaste for. "There's a lot that happened while I was gone. I didn't come here all by myself, for starters. I came with a group."
"Where are they?"
"They're getting quarantined somewhere, but I don't know where it is. I found them in a town called Prescott, and things got a little complicated along the way."
Lee had questions upon questions inside his head. "How so? I thought Prescott was a good town; they helped us out with supplies just a few days ago. Are you in trouble with them?"
She looked him directly in the eye, lowering her voice again. "No, Lee. They're in trouble with us. Prescott was raided by the New Frontier and burnt the place to the ground — one of the men I'm with, Javi, had his niece murdered, and we have a woman shot in the stomach. That's why I told them to come back here, to get her medical help."
At last, something at least seemed to ring a bell. "Javi and Kate?" He'd heard those names before. "They're-"
"David's brother and wife. We all met outside the gates." She nodded, a bitterness taking over her countenance. "I thought with his family in a state like this, he wouldn't turn us away. I still haven't forgotten about what he tried to do before I left. Besides, I came back because I knew that if you were still out there, you needed to know the truth about the others."
"Others?"
"I don't trust anyone in the New Frontier except you, Lee. The men who attacked Prescott are up to something, and we need to figure out what's going on."
"Slow down, Clem. I don't doubt you, I think something is going on, but not everyone might be involved. Ava and Paul have always looked out for us. Even David-"
"You think you can trust David? He's the last person I want to be around. I'm sure he's got something to do with all of this. We could've lost AJ forever because of him."
Lee rested his back against the wall in defeat. "Clem, this is a lot to take in."
She nodded, but still looked impatient. "I don't want to play it safe anymore, Lee. We have AJ safe and sound, we can leave right now."
"If you're right about people working against us in the New Frontier, then they'll spot us running off a mile away. I’m gonna take us to your group, okay? I need to talk with them."

I just wanna begin by saying that this sub really helped me to understand certain things and feel like I’m not alone and what I’m going through is important and valid. I’ve been reading many posts here, made two of my own and got to talk with wonderful people. As someone who has a hard time sharing things that bother me (no matter how much) I find it easier to share here and just get some things off of my chest. Up until recently I haven’t thought about certain things that had happened to me and since I began analyzing memories are flooding my mind. I’ve never realized just how much I’ve been keeping inside. How much was easier to forget. How much all of this had impacted my life. So, now I’m working on unwinding this mess that had been in my head for years and trying to live a healthier life and actually take care of my mental health. I’ve found my diary (yes, I had one when I was 10, I thought I was like the main character in some movie secretly writing about my day with a flashlight) and the things I read about sometimes made my skin crawl. It’s not something absolutely horrific but it explained some things to me. Recently I’ve made a post about feeling like a kid and not being able to grow up and how my mother contributed to that by controlling pretty much every aspect of my life and some things she did I now realize were creepy (like the bathroom thing, controlling my dating life and asking if mast*rbate and how). Now I realize that my sense of boundaries, what is acceptable and unacceptable, my personal bubble is completely skewed. I’ve mentioned in that post that I allow people to touch me when I’m uncomfortable and what I mean by “allow” is that I just take it and never say anything to them. Or I simply don’t notice that something is not quite appropriate until something clicks in my head. (I should add that I’m 24 and I still live with my abusive mother though she’s no longer being physically abusive. I feel and also look like a teenager so people perceive me in a certain way.) Sometimes it’s easier for me to speak through examples as I haven’t quite figured out how to express things yet. There was a situation where I had to take a bus and there’s nothing strange about that. I generally feel unsafe when there’s a person between me and the possible escape route but I also feel deeply unsettled by being exposed in any way(so kinda need to hide but don’t like to be surrounded which on a bus is impossible), so to distract myself I usually have headphones on and I stare at my phone. That time a woman sat next to me at the back of a bus and it was a long ride, so I turned the music up and closed my eyes. I haven’t noticed it at first but that woman was stroking my thighs and to me it didn’t seem weird at all (now it really does as I look back at the situation) until minutes later something clicked in my head and I’ve opened my eyes to just stare at her and she didn’t even stop. I just put my backpack on my lap. As I look back at it all now I’m surprised that was the only thing I did. I didn’t feel threatened in any way, I felt awkward and slightly ashamed thinking what others would think if they noticed that. Something similar happened at a mall when a woman just walked in on me in a changing room. She was just looking at me and was staring back at her. I didn’t say anything until she asked if I need any help trying on clothes and I quietly said “no”. She left but I felt some kind of way, like I was dirty or something. People always invade my space. And I never can say “no” if they’re asking me to do something or to go somewhere. Especially when it comes to strangers and people I don’t know that well. I waste my time doing things they want me to do instead of doing homework or enjoying a book or even eating/drinking and taking care of my needs. I’ve spent hours helping someone rearrange their furniture while being hungry and exhausted but I didn’t say a thing. People get angry with me sometimes when they discovered over I was in pain or discomfort while helping them but in my mind I was afraid they’d be angry with me if told them because it’s an excuse to not help or something. So people who want to use me and have shady intentions can use me and people who think I’m just happy to help end up using me and they didn’t really want to do that but I’ve put them in that strange position because I can’t say “no”. I ended up in places far from home late at night because I was helping friends of friends who thought I genuinely had nothing else to do and nowhere else to be. I really don’t know what to do with this and how to stop being like this. My social life is all weird because people genuinely don’t understand why I’m doing this and up until recently I didn’t either. I hope someone would have some kind of advice. Sorry for such a long post.

"Euron's gifts are poisoned". We first hear this phrase after the Ironborn take the Shield Islands:

Victarion had expected the Crow's Eye to give the lordships to his own creatures, Stonehand and the Red Oarsman and Left-Hand Lucas Codd. A king must needs be open-handed, he tried to tell himself, but another voice whispered, Euron's gifts are poisoned.
When he turned it over in his head, he saw it plain. The Knight was the Reader's chosen heir, and Andrik the Unsmiling the strong right arm of Dunstan Drumm. Volmark is a callow boy, but he has Black Harren's blood in him through his mother. And the Barber . . .

So it seems like Euron can't keep the islands and just wants undermine his rivals by giving it to their most leal men, something which Euron himself later admits:

“Your victories are hollow. You cannot hold the Shields.”
“Why should I want to hold them?” His brother’s smiling eye glittered in the lantern light, blue and bold and full of malice. “The Shields have served my purpose. I took them with one hand, and gave them away with the other. A great king is open-handed, brother. It is up to the new lords to hold them now. The glory of winning those rocks will be mine forever. When they are lost, the defeat will belong to the four fools who so eagerly accepted my gifts.”

House Harlaw

So why in the world did Rodrik the Reader, probably the smartest Ironborn out there, go along with it? He definitely noticed the scheme, as his conversation with Nute the Barber indicates:

Nute laughed. “What rose can harm the krakens of the deep? We have taken their shields from them, and smashed them all to pieces. Who will protect them now?”
“Highgarden,” replied the Reader. “Soon enough all the power of the Reach will be marshaled against us, Barber, and then you may learn that some roses have steel thorns.”

Well, one thing to note is that the Harlaws took Greyshield in an unusual way. It was taken by Ser Harras Harlaw, the chosen heir of Rodrik the Reader. He took the whole island by himself:

"The Knight took Grimston by himself. He planted his standard beneath the castle and defied the Grimms to face him. One did, and then another, and another. He slew them all... well, near enough, two yielded. When the seventh man went down, Lord Grimm’s septon decided the gods had spoken and surrendered the castle.”

This method of conquest, with minimal loss of life, stands in stark contrast to typical Ironborn plunder, rape and kill tactics. We don't know exactly what happened on the other islands, but it must've been much much worse, given we have scenes like:

The streets were strewn with corpses, each with a small flock of carrion crows in attendance.

and

At some point Left-Hand Lucas Codd decided he wanted one of Lord Hewett’s daughters, so he took her on a table whilst her sisters screamed and sobbed.

The Lords of the other islands were either killed (Lord Humfrey Hewett and Lord Moribald Chester) or had to flee after their son and heir was killed (Lord Osbert Serry), meanwhile Lord Guthor Grimm is merely captured.
And that's not the only way he distinguishes himself from the other ironborn. He’s a knight, which is virtually unheard of on the Iron Islands because they don't follow the Faith, earning him the nickname "the Knight". Given that he is half andal (his mother is a Serrett) and proud of it (he quarters his shield with the Serrett, Harlaw sigil) and given his status as a knight, it stands to reason that he probably follows the faith of the seven. Rodrik is very tolerant of the Faith and greenlander customs himself. He even had a septon on his island to attend to his books. And he explicitly rejects the Old Way:

The Old Way died with Black Harren

House Grimm

It's interesting that of the four islands, the Harlaws chose to attack Greyshield. The name Greyshield reminds us of Greyiron, Greyjoy and the Grey King. While the name Grimm is also reminiscent of the ironborn. The only characters with that epithet in our present day story are Grimtongue (one of the crew on Asha Greyjoy's ship Black Wind) and Gelmarr the Grim (an ironborn raider in Theon's crew). Not to mention that linguistically it fits right in with other Ironborn houses: House Sparr, House Drumm, House Grimm.
The sigil of house Grimm depicts an iron shield and longships. Iron is of course associated with the ironborn and iron islands and the longships are the chosen ships of the ironborn. The only other houses with longships on their sigil are House Farwynd and House Hoare, both Ironborn. Not to mention that historically Torgon Greyiron used Greyshield as his stronghold.
So it seems like House Grimm has some ironborn roots, but they're definitely followers of the faith since they have a septon who even has the ability to surrender the island.
Now I don't expect the average Ironborn to know this, but given Rodrik's intelligence and love of reading, it's safe to assume that he probably knew this or at least pieced it together before they attacked the Shield Islands.

How the Harlaws can keep it

Like House Grimm, Harras follows the faith (or at least he was knighted by the faith), and has both ironborn and andal roots, which he explicitly shows on his personal sigil. He also went out of his way to kill as few people as possible and not kill the current Lord. He also has the benefit of contrast as the other Ironborn are being total maniacs around him, making him seem even more gallant by comparison.
Furthermore, he can truthfully explain that he and his family voted against this raid, and just wanted peace and more integration with the mainland in general.
There's also still the possibility of a marriage pact. We don't know the family tree of House Grimm. If Lord Grimm is single/widowed he could be married to an older Harlaw (e.g. Gwynesse Harlaw) who can't have children. This would make Harras still the future Lord, but makes it more peaceful and eases the transition. Other Harlaws can also be married, like Boremund's sons, or Sigfryd's grandsons, but Harras himself is also single. He's also the heir to Harlaw and has a Valyrian steel sword. If he decides to marry a Grimm, this would definitely not be a bad match for House Grimm.
I think that when the Reach attacks the Shield Islands, and Lord Grimm is confronted with the possibility of

1. Having a lengthy fight in which many men will die and many of his ships and infrastructure will be destroyed, while simultaneously risking being executed as a hostage. Or...
2. Not having any of that while also having a marriage pact with a strong house (e.g. marrying his daughter to a strong, gallant, culturally similar, valyrian steel wielding heir to one of the most powerful houses in Westeros)

He will pick the second option.
Harras might even fight against another ironborn when the Reach arrives. He would probably prefer to not fight against Maron Volmark, since house Volmark is sworn to house Harlaw, but the other two aren't even of a noble house. Lord Serry has fled and can still make a claim on Southshield, so (assuming that Serry isn't too old to have another heir, and there's no Serry that Harras could marry to a Harlaw) it would be best to attack Nute the Barber on Oakenshield. Given that Nute is very dumb it would be trivially easy to fabricate a conflict with him if Harras doesn't want to be seen as an opportunistic backstabber by the other Ironborn.
It's explicitly stated that the people of the shields often intermarry:

The men of the Four Shields oft married one another, he knew, just as the ironborn did.

So if a lot of nobles were indeed raped and killed, as we have every reason to believe, then maybe someone of house Grimm could be heir to other islands. If Harras marries (or brokers marriages between house Grimm and house Harlaw) and then liberates them, house Harlaw could even stand to gain two or more islands. Looks like Euron's gift wasn't nearly poisonous enough.

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[Translated]: Dates, Units of Measurement, or other Grammatical terms will be retrofitted to be legible for readers while still staying true to their definition
{Exposition}: Immediate context regarding events, People, Entities, or other key points that allow for understanding amongst different cultures.
...The Dekarr Commanders were far more confident now that they were able to counter the Human Superweapons and engage them in traditional Void-naval combat. The Mercs, however, were not as confident in the Commonwealth’s Admirals. They announced their immediate withdrawal 2-weeks ahead of the Human fleet's arrival. The Mercs didn’t really have a void-based naval force, so their only options were to either hold out on the planet until they were bombed into submission or retreat until the invasion force was either defeated or came out victorious.
It would later be learned that Humans were a species of Risk-takers, even in overwhelming odds they would play their assets to their advantage. Despite this, they weren’t insane, and wouldn’t throw themselves unprotected into a star over the sub-atomically small chance they would survive unscathed. This tells you how low of a chance the Mercs thought the Dekarr fleet had, despite their technological advantages and supposed ‘experience’ in Void-Naval skirmishes.
The Commonwealth, despite the many warnings from the PMC, decided to stay behind and hold their ground, even as Dynamo cut their contract, took their due earnings, and left. The Dekarr was not going to fall to the Humans’ [one-trick-pony] again. And they didn’t. They fell to the overwhelming and [frankly] dishonorable tactics the Humans employed repeatedly… And then they fell to the Humans’ [one-trick-pony], just to add injury to insult.
When the Humans jumped in, the Dekarr Generals reported some 50,000 void craft, mostly corvettes and frigates. ‘Outnumbered but not outgunned’ so the Admirals commented, before being ripped to shreds one by one.
You see, the Humans were playing Confidence games within their Confidence games (Which yes, I’ll get to soon), Where they would pepper formations of cruisers and destroyers from afar, with little to no material effect on the ships, but a huge effect on the pride of the captains and commanders of these formations. The Humans would pester these fleets just outside of their effective range, causing hot-headed commanders to stray away from the bulk of the formation and chase after these cowardly Humans, only to find themselves completely swarmed by hidden corvettes and ripped apart.
This continued for months, the Humans once again playing on their knack for attritionary warfare. One by one the Dekarr captains snapped and veered off-course, sometimes inspiring several others to fall to those foolish fates. The Dekarr Admirals had, throughout this entire engagement, stayed relatively still on their Titan craft. Their orders were to hold this system, but the Humans were whittling away at their formations faster than reinforcements could arrive. It was a similar story wherever other Dekarr fleets went. The humans would chisel away at their fleets until there were no fleets left to attack, or ships armed with M.A.C. weaponry would be destroyed, it was only then that Argo-class ships would arrive to mop up the mess.
The battle of Gespoliin was sealed when the Admrials had conceded to firing their M.A.C. artillery at the frigates just to take a little heat off of them, as the M.A.C. weapons were the only things that had the range and accuracy to effectively target the Human ships that always toyed with them just outside of their effective weapon’s ranges. Of course, the reason the Dekarr Admirals were hesitant about firing these weapons is because they could take up to several [minutes] to reload, but they were reaching the end of their rope, and the Admirals needed to bring the fire off of them. Conglomerate forces had barely suffered 50 ships being destroyed, mostly from unfortunate impacts from the nearby asteroid field they hid within, meanwhile, the Humans had destroyed nearly 1,400 of the Dekarr ships; 20% of the fleet! And that’s after counting reinforcements.
Now, allow me to go on a minor digression here on the wildlife of Earth, and how it may have influenced Human military strategy in this situation. If I remember correctly I watched a documentary about a key anthropoid species known as “Bees”, hive-minded pollinators that are vital for the planet’s flora. While for others, this topic may bring up many jokes about outdated Human scientists describing the impossibility of a bee’s ability to fly, what these bugs bring up for me is their defensive measures against predators. You see, some species of bees do have natural weapons, ‘stingers’ as the Humans call them, which stab into the skin and leave a very painful poison whilst also killing the bee, ripping out its organs, and sacrificing itself for the rest of the hive. However, there are some that possess a far more ingenious way of defense against predators.
‘Wasps’ are a close cousin to the bee, however, they are far more aggressive, and they tend to prey on other anthropoids, including their close relatives. Well, instead of stinging wasps to kill them, these stingerless species of bees will lure the wasp into their hives and let one of their own be purposefully caught and killed, taking the wasp’s attention. The other bees will then take that as a sign to rush in and swarm the wasp, generating a massive amount of heat from the friction of their tiny wings which will roast the wasp alive.

What a week y’all.
I was laid off late March, was already looking for another job. But still sucked. Spent a few days feeling like crud and being sorry for myself.
Applied like crazy for weeks, networked, and all that jazz. Seemly not getting anywhere.
Got a quick call from a job I was over qualified for, and the recruiter knew it from the start. Took the interviews anyways. Left the in person feeling weird and not that I had nailed it. Turns out they liked me enough to build a spec job off my skill set. Now with a signed offer.
The tech company I had been talking to since February came back from the dead after ghosting me for a month and made an offer too.
Two offers in a week. Man I am on cloud nine. Going to keep applying and interviewing until I start.
I just want to say it can and does get better. Keep year head up.